#so exited for our flag means death season 2

[brokebat]

I loved the purple clothes he wore in this episode. So I had to draw it. But I ended up making the whole drawing purple. I don’t love this drawing, but I like it enough to post it.

[vivalaems]

The 3 genders are literally

Pirate

Vampire

And

"Angels who did not so much Fall as Saunter Vaguely Downwards."

[polyamoryprincess]

I know people are upset about Izzy being killed (I am too) but the truth is I don’t think it was bad writing or even them diminishing Izzy’s character, I actually think everything about the last episode has to do with production and I think Izzy lovers will feel a little better about it if they see it like that (it helped for me).

Basically, if you look at it like this, I think 2 important things came into play. Budget and how the showrunners assumed this would play out. Which is to say that they probably assume HBO will either renew them for season 3 and cut their budget again or they’re going to be cancelled.

Both are very likely, so assuming they had this in mind, removing Con, who I’d guess is the 3rd highest paycheck after Taika and Rhys was probably their best budgeting move, especially if they’re thinking of having an all out war in the final season that they probably want to be a visual spectacle, so each season feels like it’s getting consistently larger in scope.

On the other hand, if they do get cancelled (which they probably will because the HBO CEO is a weird little conservative goon), they left the ending in a way that could be considered an ENDING while still being prepped for a 3rd season. So in the time they had left (which was 2 episodes less than their first season) they gave Izzy an entire completed character arc.

I 100% understand the sadness and anger, especially after all the shit he went through during the beginning of the season, I felt gut punched when I learned he died and was bitter as hell through my whole first viewing of the season even though I’d had more than a month to process it. But after having thought it through, I genuinely don’t think it’s simply them treating Izzy as just an extension of Ed’s character growth and I sure as shit don’t think it’s because they wanted to conform to Izzy haters.

I think if they had all of the resources and episodes they wanted, had a guaranteed season 3, I think we would have gotten the character growth we got with better pacing and he probably would have at minimum made it to season 3 (I also think he would have had a love interest, but that’s just what I wanted for him tbh).

I think they did the best they could with what they had, allocated a lot of budget and screen time towards his character despite having less of those 2 things than the first season, and at least let Izzy have a completed story and arc, even if the ending was deeply disappointing.

[veeagainsttheday]

Ed, Killing, and the Kraken in Our Flag Means Death S1 and S2

This meta contains a whole heckuva a lot of spoilers for Our Flag Means Death seasons 1 and 2. Thanks to @petrichorca who gave it a read through and left some helpful comments!

When we first get to know Ed in s1e4, the episode concludes with him telling his first mate, Izzy Hands, about his plans to murder Stede Bonnet and steal his identity so Ed can retire from piracy. Ed and Izzy discuss the plan in a casual manner, like this act isn't shocking or deviant from previous conversations and schemes Ed and Izzy have had before. This is consistent with how other characters, especially Black Pete, have described Blackbeard in previous episodes (‘when Blackbeard kills man, woman, or child…’). While Black Pete is (probably) lying, Buttons was with him until the flip. 

As the song ‘The Empty Boat’ by Caetano Veloso plays, Izzy tells Ed, 'You've still got it' and Ed says, 'I know,' turning away to face the empty deck. Only the audience witnesses his true facial expression - the Blackbeard mask falling, a kind of dead-eyed exhaustion (echoed by the lyrics of the song) taking its place. 

In s1e5, we see Ed threaten violence against the French captain, but he doesn't actually hurt the man himself. We also see him act as if he's about to go kill the French partygoers before Stede steps in and 'handles it'. At this point I think we the audience would, if asked, have said that Ed seems to have a casual attitude towards killing that you would expect from 'the legendary Blackbeard'. He's scary ('next one goes through your fucking eyeball') and almost cartoonishly violent ('skin him. And use the snail fork'). So we the audience maybe make some assumptions about where the show stands on violent killing - not only that Blackbeard is familiar with it, but that it's a commonplace act for him.

Then we come to a pivotal moment. In s1e6, Izzy pushes back on Ed for not killing Stede, there’s the conversation about doggy heaven, and Ed promises Izzy that he’ll be the one to do the killing. We see Ed hyping himself up (‘You’re a killer bro. So kill.’) and then holding his knife while standing next to Stede behind the curtain in the captain’s cabin. They’re interrupted by Lucius cutting off his finger. Ed doesn’t go through with it; the moment passes as Stede exits the curtain to announce the entrance of the Kraken. 

At this point, I as an audience member fully believed that Ed couldn’t kill Stede because of his feelings for him. I wasn’t yet sure what those feelings were, but I knew that Ed had a deep affection for Stede, and for a moment I believed that was all that was holding him back. Then, of course, we see Ed have a PTSD/panic attack trigger from the Kraken fuckery that sends him into Stede’s bathtub, hiding underneath Stede’s robe, where he and Stede have what I believe is the most intimate moment of the entire first season (a reading supported by s2e3). Ed tells Stede, ‘The Kraken didn’t kill my dad. I did.’ We are shown the flashbacks to the way Ed’s father abused him and his mother, and the Kraken story he told on deck earlier is shown again with the figure of the beast in the water replaced by himself, as a young teen, on the dock. 

Then Ed tells Stede, ‘If I’m being honest, I haven’t killed another man since.’ Stede tries to comfort him by reminding him how much he loves a good maim, but Ed is still preoccupied with how the fact that he killed his abusive father as a child means that he’s not a good person, and that this is why he doesn’t have any friends, aka, isn’t loveable. Stede tells him, ‘I’m your friend,’ in essence, To me, you are loveable, and Ed reacts by saying, ‘No,’ and banging his head against the tub.

The next important point happens in s1e8, when Jack invites himself to breakfast and regales Stede (very deliberately, as he’s trying to push Stede and Ed apart) with the tale of Ed setting a ship alight and killing many people. (Also note - the show’s first mention of Hornigold! ‘He treated us like dogs! Worse than dogs!’ and ‘Ground us down into nothing!’) While Jack emphasises the horror and brutality of what Ed did, Ed’s demeanour completely changes - ‘No, Stede doesn’t want to hear about that.’ Jack obviously doesn’t listen to Ed; Stede’s face passes from horrified listening to Jack to squinting at Ed like, ‘Is this - true?’ Ed looks thoroughly guilty as the story continues and Stede asks him, clearly doing his best to preserve Ed’s secret in front of Jack, ‘I thought you’d, uh, given up the killing?’ Ed surges forward in his seat and, not making eye contact with Stede, says, ‘Yeah, well, technically the fire killed those guys. Not me.’ The camera then cuts to Jack looking at Stede with a bit of an incredulous expression as if he’s both gauging Stede’s reaction to the entire thing and thinking, ‘Wow BB’s in deep here if he’s making up some weird story about not being the one who lit that fire.’  

I don’t think the show intends for us to believe that Ed was consciously lying to Stede in the bathtub scene in s1e6. Instead, we see the complex way that Ed - who is shown to be both brilliant and possessed of an internal monologue that just cannot shut up - has constructed mental barriers to protect himself from the trauma of killing while still achieving the highest possible status in a very violent profession and existing in a world marred by colonial violence perpetrated specifically against people like him. 

S1e9 shows Ed continuing to posture to everyone but Stede as Blackbeard, seasoned killer (for example, telling Chauncey that he barely remembers killing Nigel because he’s ‘a real “life is cheap” kinda guy’). At the Academy and briefly after, in the beginning of s1e10, Ed seems set to have given up killing and violence for real, but Izzy’s threats in the cabin in s1e10 send Ed reeling back to the Kraken persona he assumed when he killed his dad. The season concludes with him pushing Lucius off the ship and Krakening up to sail, rob, and raise hell forever - but the final shot shows Ed crying alone in his cabin, his Kraken makeup streaking down his face. It’s heartbreaking, but it’s one of my favourite scenes from a character perspective. Imagine if the season had ended with Ed fully transformed into the Kraken, rather than clearly miserable and heartbroken under his mask? 

Season 2 begins with Ed trying to set a record for most consecutive raids, working his crew to death under brutal and traumatic conditions. His list of crimes on his wanted poster certainly suggests a lot of violence and killing, yet the show is careful to show us Ed himself only seeming to kill one person - firing a gun into a man’s back during a raid - and if you look closely, you’ll see that the man was already dying with a dagger through his body. It feels vital to me that the only direct ‘killing’ action we see Ed taking is shooting a man who we presume he can justify as having been already on his way to death. 

In s2e1 and s2e2, Ed can’t kill Izzy, though he does try desperately to get Frenchie to do it for him. He can’t even kill himself, trying to get Izzy to do it instead. When he thinks Izzy has committed suicide with the gun he gave him, he says, ‘I loved you, best I could,’ as if any love Ed could give would by its nature not be good enough. 

Ed wakes in s2e3 in the care of his old captain, Hornigold; of course, he’s really in the gravy basket and Hornigold is serving as a Jacob Marley-esque psychopomp. They key to Ed realising that he’s really [Buttons voice] ‘down in the old gravy basket’ is the conversation that concludes his attempts to be Jeff the Innkeeper. Hornigold tells Ed that he’s not good with people - after all, he did strangle his father. Ed reacts first with disbelief then cold fury, saying he never told anyone that; Hornigold reminds him that he told one person and Ed flashes back to telling Stede in the bathtub in s1e6; then Hornigold reminds him that the one person he told left him, and we see Ed crying under his Kraken makeup at the end of s1e10. Later, when Ed (finally, even Calico Jack would have had it sooner) realises that Hornigold represents himself, he says that he’s unloveable. Here’s the crux of it - he believes that he is fundamentally unloveable because he killed his father, because he is the Kraken, the monstrous beast capable of lethal violence. That’s why Stede left, his brain is telling him even as he’s dying. 

Then Stede actually proves him wrong by returning, saving him from death, and telling him that he ‘love[s] everything about [him]’ in rapid succession. Whether or not Ed fully accepts this information, we do see him very quickly, yes, melt back into Stede’s arms. Which brings us to s2e6, and Stede’s killing of Ned Low. 

Quick digression into killing and Stede: Stede accidentally kills a man in s1e1, is haunted by his ghost in s1e2. He’s so haunted by dead Nigel that he spends a lot of s1e2 asking first Oluwande and Jim for advice on being a ‘mur-der-er’, and then asking Black Pete how his former employer, Blackbeard (!!!) handled killing. (How Pete says, ‘When Blackbeard kills man, woman, or child-’ lives in my head at all times, Matt Maher with the line deliveries of all time.) Finally in s1e2, during his court-mandated therapy with the tribal elder, Stede admits that he doesn’t feel bad about killing Nigel - he was a horrible person even when he was a child! Stede's guilt is coming from somewhere else. We see this again in s1e9, when Stede says it is time for him to face the consequences for what he’s done - it might seem like he means for killing Nigel, since that’s why he’s about to face the firing squad, but we know that Stede’s guilt is about abandoning his family (the people he’s hurt!). Similarly, when Stede kills Ned in s2e6, he seems to get over it very quickly. Ned is clearly a bad guy, and although the act of killing him was traumatic for Stede (much like the act of killing Nigel), Stede presumably reconciles it by knowing that he was protecting Ed and his crew (and avenging Calypso’s birthday). Stede as a character is shown to have a tremendous amount of natural resilience. We later see him immolate a guy and dispatch a number of British soldiers without hesitation. Stede is also one of the two main protagonists of the show, and his attitude towards killing seems to reflect the attitude of the show itself - killing colonisers and torturers to protect your loved ones is ok, actually. 

(Side note but I found this idea about how zero tolerance policies actually hurt victims very informative on the topic of why it's ok that Stede killed his childhood bully; I got that link from this very interesting post where several people are in conversation about how Ed is not Izzy's abuser.)

Back to Ed in s2e6. He asks Stede not to kill Ned; when Stede does anyway, Ed is visibly saddened and ignores Izzy telling him to give Stede a moment; instead he goes immediately to check in on Stede in his cabin. He knocks on the door and in that soft voice that he only ever uses with Stede, he starts to say, ‘Hey. You okay? Look, I was a wreck after my first kill as well.’ Then he pauses, before rambling, ‘I mean, well, it was my dad, so there's that,’ which feels like a little moment of self-reflection. Like. Yeah. Ed. Baby. You might be super fucked up about the act of killing because the first guy you killed was your dad, when you were a literal child! Also, Ed has never been to (as far as we know) court-mandated tribal elder therapy, so of course his decision to kill his father fucked Ed up for decades! Also as a very clever friend pointed out, we don’t know anything about what the consequences of that were for Ed - how did his mother react, is that why he ran away to sea, etc.

There's another important thing here that the audience knows, but that Ed has never told Stede (or, we have to assume, anyone) which is that the catalyst for Ed becoming the Kraken to kill his father was abuse. The audience is shown through his panic-attack-induced flashback that Ed's father physically and verbally abused his mother and presumably him too. All Ed has ever said to Stede or anyone about it, as far as we know, was his joke to the crew during scary story hour that his dad was a dick. Stede can probably infer roughly why Ed killed his dad, but he doesn't know the details, and he loves everything about Ed anyway, and now Ed knows that Stede does too. 

So Ed and Stede have sex, and as many metas have pointed out (like this one!), it's so meaningful that Ed feels safe enough to give up his Blackbeard/Kraken identity the very next morning. He attempts to get Stede to see that it might be nice to not be pirates anymore due to the high chance of death but Stede manages to completely misread it and laughs it off. (To be fair to Stede, they're both horrible at communicating and Ed is not saying what he wants in any direct manner.) Ed proceeds to have his big beautiful brain start to spiral out of control as Jackie points out how popular Stede is becoming as a pirate; Ed panics, tells Stede he doesn’t even know who he is, and leaves to become a fisherman before he can get left (again!). 

As Ed rows away from his failed career as a fisherman in s2e8, his boss Pop-Pop (who he has managed to recreate a fucked up father-son dynamic with that like so many things in his show is played for laughs but has pretty dark undertones) yells after him, 'If you were ever good at anything, go and do that, you bum.' Ed rows back into the port of the Republic of Pirates and sees the destruction Prince Ricky has wrought upon the pirate community. Ed's first thought is, Stede, and then he imagines Stede calling for help before straight up murdering two British soldiers. He remembers Pop-Pop's words and says, 'Have it your way,' before diving into the sea, retrieving his leather, putting it on underwater, and emerging from the waves fully dressed. It's fantastically hot and the exact level of drama I expect from this man. The Kraken musical cue is playing as it happens. 

We now see Ed murdering British soldiers in the coolest ways possible, demonstrating his skill at fighting in hand to hand combat. One way to read him taking Pop-Pop's advice is that this is what he's good at - killing and violence. 

But you know what Ed’s even better at? Protecting the people he loves. His mother, himself, and Stede. Each time Ed becomes the Kraken, he fulfils that. He protects his mother from his father, himself from Izzy after being warned that ‘[Edward] better watch his fucking step’, and Stede from the invading colonisers who want to destroy their freedom. But something has changed the third time he does it - this time, he can tell Stede that he loves him and he doesn't mean it as a tainted thing, but something that he knows Stede will treasure. He's both loveable and capable of loving. He always has been, of course, but now he knows it. The Kraken, the part of him that is capable of killing, was always a defence mechanism for Ed, but the third time he understands it and himself enough to know that it doesn’t make him a monster. 

[ghostbustermelanieking]

i think our flag means death is going to end in a historically accurate way, but in its own version of historical accuracy -- i.e., ed and stede faking their deaths in order to retire. here are the reasons why.

retirement has been foreshadowed consistently from ed's first full episode on the show (1x04). 1x09 hinges on the idea of retirement (the failed plan to run away). the idea of ed (and stede by association, in 2x07) leaving piracy behind has been heavily embedded throughout season 2. inevitably this seems like it would be where the show is ultimately headed in the season 3 i really hope we get

building off that last point... the idea of faking one's death as a way of escape has also been present throughout the show, particularly in season 1. specifically, ed's plan in 1x04 is to fake his death and assume stede's identity, in order to retire. for sort-of different reasons, stede fakes his death in 1x09, and although that doesn't seem to be something he's trying to keep consistent this season, the faking of his death was still an important plot point. it doesn't seem out of the question that they'd revisit this plot point again as a way for two infamous pirates to leave things behind

while ofmd is mostly not historically accurate at all, it does keep a lot of things true to history (real people like mary bonnet, spanish jackie, calico jack, anne bonny and mary read, etc.; specific things being true such as blackbeard marooning stede bonnet's crew, izzy hands getting shot in the leg, stede bonnet making people walk the plank, etc. etc....). with all this attention spent on these nods to history, it seems to me that they'd keep it consistent with the historical exits of blackbeard and stede bonnet.

i grew up in north carolina, where the historical blackbeard died, and the stories i grew up hearing sounds soooo much like a fuckery to me, if put in the context of ofmd. shit like "it took multiple attempts to kill him, rasputin style" "when his headless body was thrown overboard, it swam around the ship multiple times" (x) screams either of an elaborate fuckery, or of stories of said fuckery being exaggerated through multiple retellings. if this happens, i really hope the writers do something with these batshit crazy legends, that could legitimately be fun

this premise, depending on how it would be approached, has some seriously angst potential. (i am specifically talking about this post. that is what i want)

i love the fact that the show doesn't insist on being grimdark 100% historically accurate -- in fact, i don't think ofmd could exist in its current form if it tried to do this. but the references to/portrayals of real history are fun. and it almost feels like the show is trying adhere to history a certain amount on purpose, based on things i've read in interviews. and so i just think it would be fun if the show indulged in the angst of that tragic ending, blanketed in the knowledge that everything is ultimately going to turn out fine and happy in the end

[epersonae]

fic etc (new version!)

[update March 21, 2024]

These days I'm writing fic for Our Flag Means Death.

Longfic

I have three finished long pieces, in order of connectedness to canon:

Hungry for love, ready to drown (T, 33K) - a Stede POV retelling of season one starting with episode four, lots of missing scenes (so much with clothing but also wound care! dream sequence!). My love letter to canon; I watched those episodes so many times in little bursts to really absorb the writing and acting, and I'm very proud of the results. Goes well with S2 prep, if I may say so. Will probably definitely most likely get a sequel, but it's taking me a while to figure out how to approach it.

the devil's threeway (E, 30K) - Ed POV, starts with a pre-canon encounter with Jack and (non-canonical) Anne Bonney, follows up with a post-S1 meet-up with Anne and (also non-canonical) Mark Read, and then a somewhat unusual reunion with Stede. Includes the fic where Ed would not. Stop. Crying. There is a reasonably likelihood that I will write something similar or equivalent with the canon versions of Anne and Mary, but it's still marinating.

for the benefit of all the broken hearts (E, 62K) - the not RPF but not not RPF that is maybe the best thing I've ever written in any medium for any reason: a fix-it fic for the gorgeous and weird Water Flowing Underground, told from the perspective of the unnamed second wife. My exploration of the aftermath of tragedy, the possibility of repair, and varieties of love. Read the tags, read the author's note, read WFU first (or don't, I'm not the boss of you, and I do know someone who read them out of order and still enjoyed it), but please give it a shot. Posts tagged #carlita coded content are related to this work, sometimes very obliquely. There is also a follow-up fic of missing scenes, end up several worlds away, that still has one chapter remaining (I SWEAR I'm going to finish it), and a short sort of non-linear AU, back on my beat, that explores some alternate endings.

Some favorite shorter pieces

I have begun to long for you, a "mutiny against Izzy succeeds" canon-divergence AU

nice either way, my contribution to the Beard Discourse

Commit to the Bit, modern AU blackbonnet engagement and wedding

Season 2 and post-S2 fic

I spit on your grave - post-S2, Stede and Ed have a serious conversation, starting with how Ed didn't "happen" upon Stede being gut-stabbed, and going some tough places from there

lost and found - post-S2, featuring beach comber Stede and those cake toppers

Through the storm - the crew of the Revenge between episodes 2 and 3. slow and creepy!

in case I never make it through to where you are - bad ending AU set at the end of 3. MIND THE TAGS, it's a rough one.

Other stuff

Occasionally I post OFMD fic recommendations, which started as a weekly thing but, you know. They are still posted in sets of five on Fridays, when I do them, and tagged #five fic friday. (There's no particular system to my listings, just stuff I like that's not PWP.)

Not fic: I am doing a little project where I make/recreate recipes that I have written down but haven't made in a long time (or ever) - that can be found under the tag #food as play. Includes my rewrite of the 40 Orange Cake Recipe!

I have also written a lot of fic for The Adventure Zone, my favorite being The Reckoning Arrives, a 77k fic in which Lucretia, Taako, Merle, and Carey go looking for Kalen.

I wrote quite a bit of my TAZ fic with my late spouse Ryn (@taakovapes). Ryn died in September 2021; here's the post I wrote the week they died. I often post/tag about them and death and grief. (See tags #not all exits are made equal, #[grief dab], and #posts I wish I could send to Ryn in particular.)

[local-hyena-reblogs]

Also, i really like the fact that Laszlo and Nadja are in a kind of open/polyamorous relationship. I just think it's funny addition that gives good comedy and representation. Cuz they love eachother so much but they don' mind when the other (litterally) fuck around (cf. I forgot his name but the burned one). Bureau Laszlo can get jealous too (cf. Gregor)

Also I hope the Guide and Marwa will end up together

(I have little to no knowledge about poly people/relationships plz correct me if I am wrong about something)

And u know what ? There's other things I want to talk about. I am rlly glad that we're getting more *good* queer characters/shows. Cuz sometimes, I feel like some characters are "gay" just for the sake of habing a gay character. But now, look at it : we have What We Do In The Shadows and Our Flag Means Death, who has a lot of genuinly queer characters. There's also Heartstopper, but I haven't watched it. And Good Omens. They are married.

This also brings le to the subject of straight relationships on medias. The reason why people have non-canon gay ships, it's mostly necause the canon straight ships are boring as fuck. There's no chemistry, or it just feels... "forced". Like two random characters end up together cuz the main character must have a love interest. I don't care about that, I don't care if the character's gay or straight or anything else, I just want the fuckin romance. I have tons of ships, mlm, wlm and wlw ships, and I am not saying stuff like "I ship it cuz it's gay", I ship it cuz the dynamics are heckin interesting, damn it.

Anyway, I am exited about these shows having new seasons. I expect a nandermo kiss by the end of season 4. I don't exoect anything from GO season 2, I'll be happy with whatever mister Neil Gaiman provides us. I expect ofmd season 2 to be as hilarous and cute as season 1. And as Ed is now emo, plz let him listen to mcr or some kind of fake emo band. That would be fuckin hilarious.

[gaamagirl565]

Matters of the heart S2 ep 12

Matters of the heart

Season 2 Episode 12

The alley girl {OPENING CREDITS} {Open to a slow zoom on Varian’s house as thunder rolls in the distance; lightning flashes and we cut to the bedroom where Varian tosses and turns} Varian: ngghh...no… {We see his nightmare; Isaiah falling off the cliff; Cassandra being tortured by her power; Quirin being devoured by a black mist in the shape of a wolf; everything fades to a black void with only Estelle in the room; her back is turned to him}

Varian: E-Estelle? {She turns to him with pink and green eyes and the cut on her neck visible; when she speaks it is Zhan tiri’s voice} Estelle: Is this your happily ever after, child? {Varian jolts up in bed with a shout and wakes Zapada in the process} Zapada: mn? Iubriea mea? {Varian gets up from the bed and pours water from the pitcher into the basin on the dresser} Zapada: Another nightmare? {Varian splashes his face} Varian: Probably for the best...it’s almost dawn and I have to be at the castle… {Zapada gets up and walks over to him; she takes his hand and he looks at her} Zapada: You have barely been sleeping…and it is falling rain outside. Varian: It doesn’t matter...what matters is finding that cult and destroying them. Zapada: Varian how do you expect to do that when you look like death himself? Varian: Zapada, please… Zapada: No! You will catch your demise! Varian: and they are causing people’s demise! They took my friend, destroyed an entire kingdom, killed Estelle, my dad, my son-! Estelle: Who was no less of a son to me than the one within me, Varian!...but very well. If you want to perish before you’ve even obtained victory...then be my guest. {She walks over to the bed and lies down} Varian:...fine. {He leaves and shuts the door; Zapada’s eyes water and she quietly cries into her pillow; Cut to the morning in the Dark Kingdom; Isaiah rolls over in his cave with a groan} Isaiah:...ugh...I can’t wait to have my bed back… {A distant scream rings out in the forest and Isaiah jolts up} Girls voice: NOT AGAIN! AHHHHH!! Isaiah: H-Hang on! I’m coming! {Isaiah runs through the trees and hops over rocks; he rushes as fast as he can and arrives at a clearing; cautiously he steps forward} Isaiah:...hello? Girls voice: Up here you pillock... {Isaiah looks up to see a young girl hanging from a tree branch by her foot} Isaiah:......*snerk* Girl: Snicker one more time and it’ll cost your tongue. Isaiah: heh...sorry, here let me help you dow- Girl: no I got it… {She takes out a shiv and starts cutting the rope} Isaiah: If you have everything under control why did you scream? Girl:  you ever heard of frustration?  also, I was yanked up into a tree anyone would scream! Isaiah: I-... I can't argue with that… {she cuts through the rope and starts falling} Girl: AH! {Isaiah lunges and catches her} Girl: Hmph! Get off me! Stinky boy! {She gets up and fixes the bandana on her head} Isaiah: Soooo...i’m Isaiah! {He puts out a hand and she stares at it for a moment before going to pick up her bag} Isaiah:....ookkkaaayy… Girl:...Verbena. Isaiah: huh? Verbena: my name is Verbena. Isaiah: O-oh! Okay! Cool! So what’cha doing out here? Verbena: Foraging. Isaiah: oh..cool..yup…… {She stares at him and then groans} Verbena: ...if your coming along, keep up and shut up. Isaiah: R-right! Got it! {he runs up and stays next to her} Isaiah:...so what are we foraging? Verbena: ugghh… {Cut to Catalina walking down into the dungeon; she looks disturbed and angry; she stands in front of Noremoths cell}Catalina: I’d like to talk to the prisoner in this cell, please. Pete:...you’re sure? Catalina: just open the door… {Pete goes over and unlocks the door; Catalina walks in and bares her fangs in a growl; Noremoth looks up} Noremoth: Catalina! {She slams the door closed} Noremoth: Cat I can explain! Catalina: Oh I’m all ears! But lets review! You lied to me, you’re part of a dangerous cult, you killed people, and you attacked Corona multiple times. Did I miss anything? Noremoth: nope that’s uh...pretty much it. {She throws her hands up and walks to the other side of the cell} Noremoth: ...I never meant to hurt you. Catalina: No you only meant to lie, kill, and steal. Noremoth: Technically I never lied- {She gets close to his face, baring her fangs and eyes turning red} Noremoth: BAH! Okay! Okay! Relax! Catalina: You don’t get it do you!? Noremoth: What!? Catalina: I trusted you! I..I liked you! And you betrayed me! You hurt my friends! You hurt my kingdom! And I hate you for it! I honestly wish I had the strength to end you I would gladly tear your throat out for my friend and family! Noremoth: Cat… {Catalina shakes her head and runs out of the cell and slams the door} Noremoth:...smooth ol’ boy...smooth. {Fade to the cult HQ; Larkspur sits in her room with messy hair and a disheveled appearance; she takes a knife and throws it at a Coronian flag she has on her wall; a knock sounds at her door} Vergus: Mistress? {She tumbles out of her bed and fixes herself} Larkspur: C-Come in! Vergus: Mistress,  we were badly battered from the recent battle.  we have many wounded and we're running out of supplies. Larkspur:  and our vessel? Vergus:   despite the doubtless psychological harm that she suffered she appears to be in good health. Larkspur: That is all you needed to say I really don't give a rat's arse about her “psychological harm” Vergus:  regardless mistress, we must obtain more supplies.  the dark kingdom has a trade port. it's about two days’ time from our hideaway. Larkspur:  then what are you still doing here? get together a small group of those that aren't wounded and go obtain things to replenish our supply. Vergus:  well there's one more thing mistress. Larkspur: of course there is. Vergus:  we wish to know what you plan to do now. Noremoth has been captured.  and he didn't exactly leave on the best terms.  he's a serious threat and could easily be giving away information.  we wish to know your orders. Larkspur: hmm.. well it is true he could be a threat.  but we can't just go barreling into Corona.  as you said before we're all wounded and need time to heal,  on top of everything we're low on supplies.  I suppose we should plan for a battle then. if we don't attack they surely will attack us. looks like this little war is at a standstill. Vergus: Mistress? Larkspur:  take a small group of the members that aren't wounded.  go to the dark Kingdom, obtain the supplies that we require,  but also try and recruit some new members. look for the lowlifes of the town.  people who are desperate, weak of heart, there should be plenty.  if we're going to fight a battle in the future we should have more able-bodied men and women. Vergus: Yes mistress. Larkspur:  and Vergus? don't disappoint me. {cut to Verbena walking into the kingdom gates with Isaiah in tow} Verbena: So let me get this straight.  you got separated from your family and you're here for at least another week until you can find enough reserves for a four day trip on foot back to Corona. Isaiah: That pretty much sums it up yeah… Verbena:  well you're doomed. Isaiah: Wait wha-Verbena! Benny! May I call you Benny? Verbena: no. Isaiah: Benny,  what do you mean I'm doomed!? Verbena:  look I've been surviving on these streets by myself for 2 years.  I have survived starvation, infection, and almost dying of exposure.  I’m a big girl and I can tell just by looking at you, you wouldn't last a day. Isaiah: oh ho really? How so? Verbena:  do I really have to explain?  from what you've been telling me you relied too heavily on the grown-ups around you. you can't do that when you're living on the streets. a street kid has seen no lesser than a rat.  you have to do what you can to survive which means doing things that you aren’t gonna be happy with. Isaiah:  how old are you? Six?  who hurt you? Verbena: actually I'm this many! *holds up fingers*  7 almost 8. my parents died in a house fire. I’ve been living on my own ever since. Isaiah:  why don't you just go to an orphanage? {She grabs his face and pulls him down} Verbena: I WILL NEVER EVER GO TO THAT MEAN PLACE! Isaiah: Okay! Okay! Geez! {she lets go and starts walking before they both hear a grumble; she turns and looks at him} Verbena:  are you kidding me? when was the last time you ate? Isaiah:... on the ship. Verbena: ugghh.. helpless utterly helpless.  come on stinky let's find you something to eat. {Fade to Lily looking out a window from the seat in her room; she sniffles and wipes a tear before a knock is at her door} Cyrus: Lily? It’s me!...it’s all of us really. {Eddard opens the door} Cyrus: Wow rude...she didn’t express we could come in! Eddard: Lily? You okay sis?{Her sister Rosie sits by her} Rosie: Your handmaiden said that you've been turning away all sorts of food even your favorite. Cyrus:  you love lemon meringue pie. Lily:  I just don't feel it… {They all look at each other concerned; Eugene walks in} Eugene: don’t worry guys...I got this. All: Dad! Eugene:  if you guys could give us the room I think your sister needs some one-on-one with her awesome dad. Cyrus: Yes father. {all but Eddard walk out of the room before Cyrus goes back and pulls him out} Eugene: Lily?...sweetheart you can’t keep doing this.  I know it hurts but- Lily:  no you don't know! You can’t possibly know! {Eugene jumps} Lily:  I should have gone with you. Eugene:  no.  that would have been ten times worse.  you could have been killed then. Lily:  maybe then I could have stopped them from killing my best for him. Eugene: there was nothing we could have done.  Lily none of this was your fault. none of this was anyone's fault. it wasn't supposed to happen this way. Lily: I liked ‘saiah… Eugene: I know princess… Lily: no I...I like liked him… Eugene: wait, you...OH...ohh… {Lily sobs} Eugene: oh princess c’mere… {Eugene picks her up and holds her in his lap; she snuggles into his chest} Eugene: It’s gonna be okay..it may not seem like it now but..it..it will...it will {he holds her tighter as it zooms out on them; cut to Varian tiredly exiting his Lab in the castle; he walks a bit before stopping and look up at the giant door he’s passing by; Zapada’s words from that morning ring in his head; he sets his stuff down} Varian:...Herz Der Sonne’s journal. {He looks around before he places a hand on the door} Varian:...I must be outta my damn mind. {Varian opens the door to the room and walks up to the journal; he sighs} Varian: I can’t believe I’m doing this… {He opens the book and flips through it; he stops at a page and stares at it before running his hand over it: he sighs} Varian: ….I really screwed up, huh?  failed to protect you...failed to protect our son.  Seems just yesterday we were here. {He smiles sadly and scoffs} Varian:  I really was still a stupid kid wasn't I?   thinking all of our problems would be solved because we signed a stupid book. {Fade to a flashback of him and Estelle sneaking in the room; Estelle runs over to the journal as Varian closes the door} Estelle:  has anyone seen us? Varian: not from what I've seen. Estelle: Good.  in my opinion, this has to be a private affair. Varian: indeed your grace. Estelle:  Ew don’t call me that. {they chuckle and Estelle opens the journal to a blank page; She then takes a quill but hesitates} Varian: …Estelle? You okay? Estelle: Oh! Y-Yes! Right as rain! Varian: we don't have to do this if you don't want to... I'm not going to hold it against you. Estelle:  no!  I want to do this. the last journal existed for hundreds of years.  I don't want there to only be a record of me being tied to that... Pompous duke!. Varian: won’t people find out? Estelle:  nobody goes back and looks at the other Pages until it's been decades maybe more.  please...Varian. I want to share a page with the man I love. The man I choose. {Varian looks stunned for a second but then his face softens; He takes a Quill and both sign the journal; Estelle kisses him; they stay in each other’s arms} Estelle: Well...it seems to be official now. Varian: yeah… Estelle: for better or for worse… Varian: No matter what happens… {Fade out and cut to the page with their names on it; a tear drips on the page; Varian sniffles and wipes his eyes before staring blankly at the page; with a cold stare he tears the page from the journal and stuffs it in his vest; cut to him walking out of the room and stopping to lean against the wall} Rapunzel: Varian! There you are! We’ve all been looking for you! Varian: for me? How can I help Rapunzel? Rapunzel:....you’re...not gonna like it. {Lance walks forward with a drink bottle} Varian: What is this? Eugene: a drink to share with Noremoth. Varian: ...Excuse me!? Rapunzel: Now Varian, please… Varian: No Hold up! You want me to share a drink with the man that murdered my family!? Eugene: Varian I know your upset with him but- Varian: Upset? you think i’m just UPSET with that man!? i’m 1000x more than that, Eugene! Rapunzel: okay enough! Both of you! Varian, We need information from him. from what we've heard him say he seems to be innocent of most of the crimes here. Varian: what!? Rapunzel:  from what he's been telling us it was mostly Larkspur giving the orders.  Quirin's death was an accident according to him,  he didn't know that Estelle was going to be the first target,  and Isaiah fell off the cliffs when Noremoth wasn't anywhere near him. It's the only information he was willing to give us. Lance:  he just keeps asking us to kill him and be done with it. Keira: and why don't we!?  okay so my Quirin's death was an accident but that means he still tried to kill Varian! And look at Catalina! Rapunzel:  I promise you, there will be consequences for him but right now his information is invaluable. If we're going to avenge Isaiah and anyone else that was killed at the cults hand we’re going to need his help. {Varian eyes the bottle before walking off with it} Catalina: Varian just...just don’t hurt him too bad… Varian:...no promises. {Cut to Isaiah in the marketplace of the dark kingdom} Isaiah: geez... bread here is so expensive. Verbena:  that's cause wheat doesn't do well here so we have to im-..im… Isaiah: ...Import? Verbena: yeah! import it from other kingdoms. Isaiah: seriously how are you alive? Verbena: I guess i’m just smarter than you. Isaiah: you little- Verbena: shh!...look! Isaiah: what? {She points to a small bag of moldy bread} Verbena: It's all we got. Isaiah: how are we going to the new convince him to sell us- {Verbena rushes in and grabs it before taking off} Baker: STOP! THIEF! Isaiah: BENNY!? Verbena: Lets go! {they both run through the street weaving around people as the baker chases them; At one point Benny trips and picks up as much of the bread as she can; The baker goes to grab her but Isaiah picks up an apple from a cart and throws it, hitting him in the nose} Baker: Filthy street pest! You broke my nose! Augh! {Isaiah runs up to her and pulls her into the alleyway} Verbena:...well...that could’ve gone better. Isaiah: Yeah i’ll say! What in the hell was any of that!? Verbena: I was getting us food! Isaiah: By stealing it!? I have coin! I could have bought food! Verbena: if I knew that I would have let you but like I said before, You gots to do things you don't like! Isaiah: Screw that!  I've never once even considered stealing food! if need be I would have gone to the forest and searched for food or dug in a trash can! I never would have stolen from anyone! now look what I did I broke some poor man's nose for you! Verbena:  and because of that we have dinner.  when it comes to survival sometimes you gotta be bad. Isaiah:  I would rather risk everything than hurt someone again! Verbena:...Again? {Isaiah jumps at his own words and gently touches his scar; Verbena sighs and hands him a stale roll of bread from the bag} Verbena:  ...here... just eat it. {Isaiah swipes the roll and takes a bite; Verbena grabs her own roll and picks the mold off before eating; she hears sniffles and looks over to see Isaiah wiping his eyes as he eats} Verbena:...why me? {She walks over and plops down by him eating her bread; Isaiah looks over to her leaning on him} Verbena:...sorry... {he smiles and leans on her as they eat; cut to Varian outside Noremoths door at night; Pete unlocks it for him and he walks in} Noremoth: Well.. this is a surprise.

Varian: be quiet… Noremoth:  did you really just walk in here just to tell me to shut up? Varian: and if I did? Noremoth: well not like I can do anything except call you a massive jerk. Varian: you see there's a lot of irony in the idea of you calling me a massive jerk. Noremoth:  whatever... what's that? Varian:  this? {he holds up the bottle} Noremoth:  no the Dancing Cockatoo on your head.. yes the bottle! Varian: thought you could use a drink. I can't imagine the water down here is very sanitary. Noremoth: What is it? Varian: I have absolutely no clue but all I know is it doesn't smell very good. Noremoth: then it is my kind of speed. {Varian pours two glasses and goes to hand him one} Varian: oh...wait… Noremoth: Yes Varian... I'll just levitate the glass with my unicorn powers. Varian: oh shut up… {He goes to unlock his wrists; Noremoth rubs them; Varian hands him the drink and he sits down on the ground with him} Varian: well this brings back memories. Noremoth:  drinking in a Cell brings back memories? Varian: the cell itself dingus...  I forget...it's been what.. 18..19 years… Noremoth:  yes I've heard your story.  I believe we only met after the death of Zhan tiri.  you went traveling right? Varian:  I was gifted the title of Royal engineer. but I needed a break from Corona after everything that happened.  I decided to go on a scientific Expedition.  I wanted to learn how the Sun Drop , the Moonstone, and the black rocks had affected other kingdoms.  I also wanted to learn more about me and see if there was a more scientific explanation for all of it. perhaps a new branch of science that we hadn't even discovered yet. Noremoth:  and then we came in and screwed everything up didn't we? {Noremoth smirks and sips his drink} Varian:  you can say that again. instead of a scientific expedition, I found myself trying to thwart you guys every time I entered a new kingdom. Noremoth:  we were very diverse with our recruiting.  Misfits of all the Seven Kingdoms joining together to create a new world order with help from the power of Zhan tiri and a vessel hosting the magic for us. Varian:... why Cassandra? Noremoth:... that was larkspur's doing. I grew up in Corona. I was here for that great battle. Varian:...What? I didn't see you at all. Noremoth: I don't know where I was born but I do know I grew up in an orphanage not too far from Corona.  orphanages paint such a pretty picture.  oh we care for orphaned so therefore we're Saints! puh!... I left the orphanage when I was 12 I couldn't stand it anymore and then I was a street child in Corona.  therefore I was useless.  I was here for everything. Varian: Everything? Noremoth:  yes... everything. how did you make your raccoon that size? Varian:  Okay moving on!  you never answered my question. Noremoth:  right... I told her about how Cassandra was the wielder of the Moonstone and how I saw her come into Corona many times.  I even told her about the time she practically destroyed the whole Kingdom with black rocks.  Larkspur insisted that that was who we had to have his The Vessel. I don't know why but I think it's because she thought she can handle it. Varian:  so why did you join the cult? Noremoth: I left Corona once I was old enough same as you. I met t Larkspur and she told me her ideas. I was sick of being treated differently for things that I couldn't control.  people assuming that I was filthy, uneducated, and just overall waste of space because I was an orphan Street child.  I want to spare future generations of that that's why I joined.  I've always had a code. never hurt women or children. Varian: BUT- Noremoth:  I was never near your son when he fell and that wasn't supposed to happen.  I didn't know that Cassandra’s first kill was Isaiah’s mother.  as for your father... I want you to know that I gave Larkspur hell for that.  I'm sorry. I tried to do good things for the world by joining this cult but it seems that I've only brought misery. I’m...truly sorry about that. {Noremoth picks up his cup; Varian watches him with a despondent look} Noremoth: ...Salut 

Varian:......Salut. {They clink glasses and both take a sip before Varian coughs and sputters and Noremoth laughs; fade to Isaiah leaning against a barrel in the alley asleep; Verbena walks over and kicks him} Isaiah: OW! Hey, what the- Verbena: Sh! C’mon! I gots to show you something! {Isaiah rolls his eyes and follows; she leads him out into the dark barren street} Isaiah: ...Okay, I'm out here now what? Verbena:  any second now… {They stand for a minute or two; Isaiah goes to say something to her but then notices a glow; He looks up to see colours dancing in the sky} Isaiah: Whoa... aurora borealis… Verbena: what? Isaiah:  Aurora Borealis is also known as the Northern Lights I read about it in my books back home.  I didn't know the dark Kingdom had such a cool view of it. Verbena:  I overheard some grown-up say that the lights only started appearing after the black rocks disappeared. that was way before I was born. Isaiah: and how old do you think I am? that's before I was born to! Verbena:  you're old and stinky! {Isaiah smirks and tickles her; she squeals and giggles} Isaiah: Oh am I!? I’m old and stinky? Well, you’re tiny and spiteful! {she squeals and giggles; Isaiah smiles and looks up at the sky with a sad smile} Verbena: do you miss your family? {Isaiah turns to look at her} Verbena:  I miss mine too. I miss my mommy. Isaiah:...me too squirt...me too.

[thenextrush]

Did the show really need hosts?

Hosted by Nick Lachey and wife Vanessa, the show was pretty self sufficient without them as they only appeared in several episodes, they didn’t even bother to show up for the 82 minute season finale.    It wasn’t like Next in Fashion where participants needed handholding and direction each week with challenges, and it didn’t even need voiceover narration like they did in The Circle.

Total air time from this supercouple couldn’t have been more than 10 minutes in total, where do I sign up Netflix?  Easiest gig ever!

A wall within the conversation pods divides the couple who decide on who they want to “date” without the pressures of appearance and visual social cues

Not seen the show?  Here’s what you missed:

If you’ve missed the first 9 episodes, it’s different to Married at First Sight because the daters have a chance to engage and get to know prospective partners before taking a leap of faith:

The bachelors live on one side of the complex, while the bachelorettes live on the other.

From 30 singles, 6 couples got engaged and headed to Mexico for their first physical date / honeymoon

35 days is how long it took for them to date in the pods, meet in person, meet their parents, with weddings taking place on the last day

Diamonds are not this guy’s best friend:

One of the most memorable confrontations took place in Episode 4 and because of Social Media & Marketing Manger Carlton Morton‘s omission, it led to NBA Dancer, Diamond Jack making decisions without all the information resulting in a missed opportunity for the show because she turned out to be a firecracker with her dramatic exit.  Whether he wanted to or not, Carlton became the poster boy for fluid orientation and he lost whatever sympathy that could have left this story on a positive note because of that temper tantrum by the pool that will define his Love is Blind appearance for years to come.   His outrage at Diamond was misdirected and inappropriate.  But she gave as good as she got putting him in his place, she needs to come back in Season 2 or ask her to host the show if she’s got a spare ten minutes in case the Lachey’s are busy!   No one deserves to be spoken to like that especially when you drop a bombshell from them out of no where expecting them to be okay with it the next day.  Obviously, they didnt make it to the altar with the couple throwing in the towel in Mexico and going their separate ways.

The Weddings in the Season Finale:

Up until the season finale, the soundtrack of the show could rival any Weddings Greatest Hits essential playlist with its light and bubbly vibe.   As each couple uses the same reception venue to tie the knot, the music quickly turns into a dramatic symphony straight out of a Star Wars Jedi battle as the marriage celebrant ends his piece to recite vows with the question:  “Is Love Blind”, the couples then respond with an “I Do” or an “I Don’t”.

Giannina pours her heart out in a poem:

The fiery Venezuelan retail owner, Giannina Gibelli has been a ticking time bomb since she and Industry Supply Manager, Damian Powers left the pod and it started almost straight away on that yacht in Mexico.  Even her mother before the wedding says to her daughter in Spanish that she “better be serious and not treat this as a game”.

Giannina finally seemed ready, taking on board a hurt and worn down Damian’s feedback at dinner.   The love-hate exchanges with these two seemed to come from a place of passion making them so entertaining to watch because they’d somehow always make their way back to that place they found in the pod.

She genuinely seemed to be making an effort especially with a poem she wrote for him accompanied with socks to wear to the wedding:

“The beginning was rough the middle was sweet the other half was a lot and soon we’ll reach our peak. I asked you once ‘Can you handle me?’ I hope you know now and forget the rest cause ready or not, this isn’t a test So what do you want? Only you can guess”

As Giannina walks down the aisle at the end of Episode 9, Damian becomes teary.

Damian’s shocking 360:

Damian has been pretty consistent and devoted to his fiancee who on several ocassions throughout the season has gone on a tyrade.  The season finale opens with Damian responding to the marriage celebrant’s question to take Giannina as his lawfully wedded wife:

“I do not” he says quivering as tears roll down his face.

Did not see that coming at all, total blindside.  What’s weird is he thinks he can still salvage a friendship with Giannina after she runs out of the church in embarrassment leaving guests and family in a state of awkwardness.   His decision makes Giannina the only woman from the group to have been ditched at the altar.

Opposites Attract until Barnett freaks out:

Ex-Military Tank Mechanic, Amber Pike pretty much quit her waitressing job after she got engaged.  Her dream was to get married, be a stay-at-home mom and let her future husband dig her out of credit card and student loan debt and pay for the $850 custom tailoring on her wedding gown.   Meeting Matt’s family couldn’t have been easy but her unpredictability complements well with the .

Brawl for a Cause fitness professional, Matt (aka Barnett) gets cold feet and things are looking grim with a montage of his doubts if having to choose between his family and fiancee, her financial insecurity and a conversation with his rational thinking brother.  “Getting married means putting that other person before yourself.  Are you ready to give up everything for that person?”.  Matt doesn’t return any of Amber’s calls or texts the morning of the wedding and finally shows up at the eleventh hour.

Turns out it’s just a normal case of wedding day jitters and professes to Amber that he “can’t imagine a life without you”.  Classic Prince Charming Cinderella match right there!

What’s the real reason Kelly wouldn’t sleep with Kenny?

Health Coach, Kelly admitted it herself, that maybe “her whole definition of love is not right” because despite saying that intimacy in previous relationships she’s had without connection has been a total let down and kiss of death for her, she finally comes clean saying she’s “conflicted” because she doesn’t “know if she is 100% in love with him”.

Turns out she’s not physically attracted to him.  Architectural Lighting Consultant Kenny Barnes who is five years younger than her is totally infatuated like a puppy dog and it’s actually devastating to watch him being ditched at the altar.

Poor Kenny, this match really seemed like it was going to work as viewers bought in to Kelly’s stalling.  We were all so distracted with Jessica’s inability to reconcile pod and physical life that we didnt see this coming either.    Especially after Kenny and Kelly’s parents met and had similar shotgun wedding experiences themselves.  There also seemed to be great chemistry between both families in Episode 7.

“This experiment, it brought me to you.” said Kelly at the altar, “Someone who is so fabulous in every single aspect. This has been a wild ride and I am grateful that it has been with you because you’ve been nothing but supportive, and I appreciate every single moment that I shared with you. And I love you.�� 

Declaring how much she adores Kenneth and loves him, after the marriage celebrant asks if she’ll take his hands, it all comes crashing down when she says “I don’t” and leaves the chapel with a dumbfounded groom.

Standing alone at the altar, a brave class act of a gentleman,  Kenny addresses the guests in a heartfelt moment that moves the bride’s mother as she whispers to her husband how much he loves the guy for his humble words:

“Obviously this is just a whirlwhind for everyone, and again, don’t want to dive too deep into it, and delve. Because you take something that is so complex, and it is authentic, and it is real, but today is not our day. Um, but I love each and everyone of y’all, and it’s something that I’ll cherish and be grateful for forever.”

Kelly later says to the camera that “I’m fucking 33 and I should know what I want” and the story ends there for now…

Everyone knew this relationship was doomed except Mark:

He was adamant that he didn’t want to “play second fiddle” when it was clear she was weighing up options.  Tech sales rainmaker, Jessica Batten was embarrassing herself continuously with her drunken rants and throwing herself at Matt with no shame and then denying when she sobered up.

All the red flags were there, love truly was blind for personal trainer, Mark Cuevas  who had to have been in denial about their connection and of course she ditched him at the altar.

No surprise there, that coupling always seemed to be doomed.   In the end, Jessica admits that emotional connections aren’t enough and that for a relationship she jumps in to, it’s a combination of mind, body and spirit.   Watching the season back, she clearly always wanted Matt and her efforts to try and make it work with someone she wasn’t physically attracted to weren’t enough.   We would’ve been more sympathetic to her if she hadn’t made indirect passes at Matt after he got engaged to Amber.

We get the happy ending we were rooting for:

The award for sweetest couple of the season has to go to Articial Intelligence Scientist, Cameron Hamilton and Content Creator, Lauren Speed.  It’s in this union we saw total authenticity and openness on both sides.

“Everyday that we’ve spent together has been a blessing to me. There’s so much I love about you. You made me want to be a btter an and you have evberythign I need in a partner and I feel very blessed to have you in my life” – Cameron

“Cameron I love that you make me comfortable being fully myself. No matter how flawed, goofy or broken I may have been. I’m thankful for our time together and how happy our moments are.” – Lauren

The lead up to their vows brought some great moments through the season.  From their first physical meeting to Cameron meeting Lauren’s father, a touching moment between Lauren and her father before walking her down the aisle and Cameron with his mother.  True Commitment.  A family that works.  A marriage that seems like it’s set to last.

The season closes with their final thoughts summing up their experience:

“She has everything I’ve always dreamed about in a partner. She’s charismatic, but down to earth, she’s confident but also humble. She’s intelligent, she’s kind.” – Cameron

“I don’t think I ever could have met someone like Cameron any other way. I’ve been looking for Cameron for over 30 years. Apparently Cameron was looking for me too, I’m glad we finally found each other.” – Lauren

Just two nuptials take place out of the remaining couples.

The final episode becomes available tonight globally 7.30pm (Australian EST). Add it to your MYLIST if you’re looking for something to binge on this weekend.

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  Love is Blind: Who gets ditched at the altar? #loveisblind #loveisblindnetflix @netflixanz #netflix #netflixuk @camrhamilton @mattdbarnett1 @sexfact01 @KennyBarnes_11 @damian__powers @gianninagibelli @wpp_aunz @need4lspeed Did the show really need hosts? Hosted by Nick Lachey and wife Vanessa, the show was pretty self sufficient without them as they only appeared in several episodes, they didn't even bother to show up for the 82 minute season finale.   

[thelastangryman-blog]

A  Tall Tale of the Twin Towers in Four Parts

1.       Remember, Remember November Ninth, 2001

The early naughties was a weird time. We were sick of the 90s EXTREME! We were content with being told who and what was now cool. Then one of those ‘where were you’ days happened. Why has this number not come close to being matched since?

·         London: 52

·         Bali: 202

·         Madrid: 191

·         9/11: 2996

They were certainly strange times where anything could have happened but not much did. Despite what we were promised.

I was more entertained by the absolute ridiculous contrast of the character: Yosemite Bin Liner. He could train his agents of doom; supply them with the necessary documents and passports; infiltrate them into flight training schools. Co-ordinate all the hijackers; bypass airport security and carry out one of the most shocking acts of terror ever committed. But he had to make tapes and hoped they’d be found in a series of winding caves in his secret layer; that would put a Bond villain to shame. How about no.

What, he couldn’t email a link to AJ? I’d like to think there’s a bag somewhere with a horde of outtakes and bloopers. You’ve Been Jihad’d. See, this is why ISIS use Twitter and ISIL’s on Instagram; easier, convenient. Instant. Though, makes you wonder why these Machiavellian masterminds don’t just use the postal service. Honestly that’s about the safest and securest way to communicate these days.

And I remember, quite well, one of these Exclusive Terror Tapes. The whole world watched, glued to the tube; engrossed as the breaded bollocks bragged ‘bout the towers collapsing then broke the 4th wall with a wink and warned of the impending Jihad he’d rein down upon us. *SPOILERS* And where are they now; al-Qaida? All washed up. The roguish bad boy racket; yeah that shit gets old. Exit stage left with a splash.

Which begs the question, Bosco, why even tell us your grand plan? Wouldn’t it be more frightening if we knew nothing? Constantly living in an Islamic State of fear.

 2.       “9/11 was an Inside Job.”

Then the Feds should have no problem in solving the case. Just cross-reference the workers and see who has links to al-Qaida. Isn’t that what that term means: insider information was used, passed on to aid in the crime? So I wonder who it was that left the key under the mat for dear old Bin Liner to happen upon. 

I find it hard to believe no one has ever thought; for the fallen and the flag that God himself bestowed upon us: which gives us the right to go and find his body; salvage it. Bring it on tour “5 bucks to spit on the body of Bin Laden.”  Oh, out of respect for Islam and the Muslim race...hang on I’ve Je Suis on the other line. She says… ‘Fuck off, you commie queer.’  It’s more poetic in French.

So then ISIS made their debut with a twist. This season; there’s no proper antagonist. I’m not including the position of Jihad John, that’s just their Twitter account manager. With no face to tape to dart boards, who could it be? “Is that him?” “No, wait. That’s him; I think.” It’s all so vague and intriguing. Why better for ratings, my deer.

We see them training, in snippets of videos: doing jumping jacks in the desert. They can attack at anytime. It’s like when we were all afraid of the colour red. LOL. Can jet fuel melt steel beams? I don’t know, my area of expertise is pulling the piss out of vegans and daggin’. I just find it hard to believe vibrations, debris and office fires – hours later – brought down Building 7.

 3.       Alternative Ending

Osama Bin Laden was a hero for some. A role model even. And George Washington is no different; his supports are the other side of that spectrum. Both men by now, reduced to mere myths. But back to reality.

Old Yosemite had a dream. A plan. To put the fear of his God into these pig-dog enfilades for the decades of bloodshed: time to make them pay. Good job he was the chosen one; he was highly trained and financed.

Now remember kids, this was in a time before airport security became the parody we know today. Before watch-lists, Homeland Security and all this digital surveillance jazz.  And as it turned out old Bin Liner’d no problem getting his radicalised radicals into the Land of the Free.

And planes were the best he could come up with?

Instead of planes, why not a bomb in every state (Just mainland). That’s on average 62 deaths per state. And I don’t mean capitol cities, secondary or minor ones. I’m talking Hicksville, middle of Nowhere. A mom & pops store. The local diner where 62 honest-to-God-fearin’ people were enjoying an honest meal (Insert Product placement).  Boom. All 48 detonate simultaneously ripping the soul out of Nowhere.

Happy 4th of Jihad.

Ah, don’t be stupid; where’d Bin Liner get 48 bombs from? 

The garden centre, hardware store and supermarket.

MacGyver, The A-Team and years of CSI: you can do a lot with a handful of everyday items. Hell, they didn’t even need to go off. As long as it was viable and crude. Cruder the better; barbaric if you can. Doesn’t matter the size; the News’ll always tart it up with spectacularly render 3D virtual reality segments: interactive; download the app to see for yourself.

It’s not the effects but the affect.

The fact that these dirty, filthy savages managed to penetrate so far undetected; infiltrate to the very spine, crawl into the foundation with such ease and plant their bombs right in the heart; at such a local level... No. The reason why that never and will ever happen – despite all the promises and tweets – is because that sort of panic causes a stampede. And speaking from personal experience: once cattle are spooked you’ve no control of the situation.

And that’s why it has to metropolitan cities – the disconnect. The ripples. “Did you hear; the Muslims” Eyes start to narrow, a bit more. Then words like them and we are heard more. The wind picks up and every sort of cuntin’ flag comes out completely blocking your view. T-shirts get printed that read:

FIND THEM

PINPOINT THEM

NUKE THEM

4.       P.C.S

“There was never a golden age of man. We’ve always been shitty to one another.” Jake, TBR.

Was it naïve of me to expect too much? Instead of an almighty Jihad we were treated to phoned-in performances. Reminders; notifications:

“Hey, don’t forget, we’re still here. We’re not going to do anything, other than this. Even though we’re portrayed as being capable of worse. Don’t forget to subscribe. Donate to our Patreon.  Buy our T-shirts.”

And a plethora of rebranding. Ah, I suppose this is why things should never be hyped they’ll never live up. And no; we wouldn’t have a Utopia if these shady characters were gone. Not at all.

All I ask, going forward: entertain or challenge me but please don’t pander; that’s Marvel’s job. If these stale flash-mob-pop-up-performance-instillation pieces are to continue just make it believable because this passport trope is getting real old, son.

That’s not something you normally carry with you. You leave that somewhere safe until you need it but by then you forget where you left it and can’t find the bloody thing. And em, terror attacks/suicide bombing not really one of those times you need your passport: considering you’ve an army of social media bots that’ll claim responsibility for a fart.

I’ve pied-piper’d enough cattle and sheep to know they may be dumb, delicious animals but even they get wide to that shit.

Here’s a freebie.

Using FRS we were able to identify (Insert scary name).  Seen here at a refugee centre. (Oh! That means Islam. Let me get my flag) Piecing together the various texts/snapchats he then made his way to (SET) and we see him *or preferred pronoun* here entering (STAGE).

Keep it simple.

Again, I’m left wondering why these evil geniuses don’t go off-grid, be creative. Sure, things would be more complicated and real-time ‘exclusives’ go out the window. Though, would that be fair on our brave digital men and woman and their oxymoronically alphabetical Agencies? Could they cope, adapt to such a shift. All’s fair in love and Jihad.

But never in the middle of Nowhere.

[das-tal-game]

Patch Notes 1.0 Early Access Launch

Dear Players,

Starting with Early Access on February 23rd we are going to switch to a 28-day development cycle and 28-day seasons.

That means that every 28 days we will start a new group of game servers (in different locations of the world) which will run for a bit more than 27 days. At the end of each season we will release the final leaderboards and world maps.

We’ll also include two days per cycle where we are likely (but not guaranteed) to release new game updates. Obviously we will launch hotfixes right-away if those are necessary. All updates that require a game server wipe will happen in between seasons.

Here is the first cycle for season #1:

February 23rd 2017 (Thursday) - 3 PM CET / 6 AM Pacific:  Season #1 starts with update 1.0

March 9th 2017 (Thursday): Mid-season update slot for update 1.0.1 (can be skipped)

March 22nd 2017 (Wednesday) - 8 PM local time: End of Season #1 game worlds with a massive Jailor attack

March 23rd 2017 (Thursday) - 3 PM CET / 6 AM Pacific:  Season #2 starts with update 1.1

These are the Patch Notes for the version 1.0 February 23rd 2017 Steam Early Access release. Please check out our list of known issues before playing and reporting bugs.

These Patch Notes are available on the following languages:

English

French

German

Italian

Portuguese

Russian

Spanish

Your language is not listed? Would you like to contribute? Click here!

To know the details of this update, please look at the list below:

Steam Support: There is no more username/email loading screen. You now start The Exiled from Steam and get automatically logged in. This also enables a ton of other Steam features such as a lightning-fast patcher and a great screenshot tool ( F12 ).

Localization into six languages: You can now play The Exiled in English, French, Italian, German, Spanish, Brazilian Portuguese and Russian. This was made possible by the relentless efforts of our amazing volunteer team.

Re-designed in-game UI: All ingame windows have gotten a visual and usability treatment. The Character and Equipment screens have been merged. Dojo and Workshop have received major redesigns.

Ingame Music: We've started to add in-game music to the game. Music is context-sensitive and will react to where you are in the game and what happens around you.

Vanity Pets: Vanguard and Harbinger level supporters will be the first players to be accompanied by (purely visual) pets. They won't interfere with combat or have a negative performance impact. They're just cute.

Chat Report: Added a button that allows you to report violations of the code of conduct in the in-game chat.

Balancing Changes

Removed the veteran debuff for "normal" players (formerly rank B). Only *, ** and *** players will now be debuffed in the desert.

Increased world defense donation requirements per round and decreased early respect gains through donations.

Down-time for knocked out characters now scales with player rank. Newcomers have a shorter downtime, veterans a slightly increased one.

Newcomers using their stash now get the same on-attack invulnerability buff as when using a dojo or workshop.

Ability Changes

Heal Wounds (Staff): Increased self-heal, decreased heal other.

Usability Changes

You can now use unlimited stashes all around the world map, not just one. Those stashes are not connected, you still need to move your loot around on foot if you want to change your home base.

Improved tutorial sign placement and texts to make it a bit easier for newbies to get into the game.

Made sure that you can properly see footsteps in the swamp biome.

Tutorial servers now get automatically selected primarily by ping, making sure you get the best ping when starting out.

Added a "are you sure you want to recall and drop your items" popup to make this mechanic very clear.

Merged the characters stats ( C ) and equipment windows ( B ) into one window.

Map Changes

Massively improved collision detection. Your character now does not get stuck on environment colliders anymore.

Added more major roads to the game, especially connecting the swamp biome to the desert and the mountains.

Roads have been changed so that they now adhere to a strict 45-degree-system. That means they are easily walkable with ( W - A - S - D ) and you do not need to correct your path every few seconds.

Massively improved environment art variety both for "blockers" (forests etc.) and for resource camps.

Added walls to small settlements to give smaller clans some additional protection.

Re Added three types of different refineries and spread them among the to the medium and big settlements.

Added more exits to neutral towns to make sure that they're not too much of a death trap.

Fixed a number of invisible colliders in the swamp.

Fixed an invisible grass patch in the swamp.

Fixed a bug that made a number of small environment assets flicker.

Removed all grey cubes from the swamp biome. Good bye, cube buddies!

Visual and Audio

Improved all default attack animations and added animation cancelling to make sure animations always feel snappy and instant.

Fixed a lot of broken animations (Meditation, looting, etc.).

Added new VFX for root and snare plus a couple of other VFX improvements (physical and mental corruption).

Fixed the Lunge VFX that had the tendency of sticking around longer than it was actually welcome.

The swamp biome now has a much more fitting ground color that makes it less dark and depressing.

Resource camps environment assets now fit the biome they live in.

Added a new app icon.

Added a number of sound effects to the game menus and common actions.

Performance Changes

Merged small assets in our environments, increasing render performance.

Fixed a bug that prevented the game from properly downloading the latest map files.

Moved to a new email delivery provider to make sure your registration and feedback emails get delivered in time.

Fixed the audio volume sliders to make sure they actually remember their current value.

Make sure that game worlds get the proper donation requirement on their first day.

Fixed a bug that could lead to some players spawning outside of the tutorial area.

Fixed a bug that sometimes made your character invisible even outside of brushes.

Fixed a bug that lead to some newbies actually being flagged as veterans.

Made sure that newcomers always spawn at one of the bottom three towns after the tutorial.

Fixed a bug that could lead to your character to forget the rez, gank and recall abilities.

Added our esteemed volunteers and more development supporters to the to credits(WiP).

Fixed a bug where the level up popup was filled with bogus data.

Made sure that players do not linger outside of the actual world map.

Fixed a hand full of potential server crashes.

Fixed a bug that made the "items" menu button invisible and prevented you from accessing your skins and animations.

Made sure that every player has a valid reply address in their bug report and feedback messages.

Fixed a bug that allowed some particle effects to stay in the game world forever.

Made sure that the game always has the latest localization texts on startup.

Audio sliders now behave as expected and do not turn off sound around 70%.

Fixed a bug that lead to respawns at the wrong spawn points.

Fixed a bug that prevented clan leaders from removing people who had access to a building or were blocked.

Fixed a bug that added outdated buildings in abandoned settlements.

Thank you for supporting The Exiled, do not hesitate to share your feedback with us and visit our Facebook!

Sincerely,

The Exiled Team