#so excited to work on this with cal and crew!

[weevil-wallflower]

A Jedi & A Droid

Cal Kestis x Jedi!Reader

Summary: Your life was never the same after You stumbled upon another Jedi and a droid.

Warnings/Tags: No warnings, SFW, hurt/comfort, minor angst, fluff, mutual pining, no use of Y/N, no pronouns used, pre/during Jedi: Survivor, minor spoilers for Jedi: Survivor.

A.N.: My third entry for Cal Kestis Week 2024! Prompts: Day 3 - Droid & Day 4 - "We shouldn't be doing this".

I am so late but responsibilities called! Also, this story, initially meant to be simple, got wayyy out of hand and turned into a combination of little snippets. So a bit of a wordy one but I am so happy to finally write this, as the idea had been sitting in my drafts for so long plus I really enjoyed writing it! I think this is one of my best stories yet :3 Gif by me!

Also on AO3!

Word Count: ~6,800

After the crew of the Mantis had split apart, Cal found himself adrift in the galaxy with only BD-1 by his side, spending years drifting between missions and without a crew—a family. While working for Saw Gerrera, he had formed strong friendships with fellow rebels; Gabs, the Klatooinian twins Koob and Lizz, and Bravo. However, it never felt quite the same. He longed for the camaraderie and companionship he had once known, yearning for a friend, a family and perhaps even a partner, to share in their journey’s hardships and victories.

Then, one fateful day, while Cal and BD-1 were navigating through a crowded spaceport, they came across You—running desperately from a squad of unrelenting stormtroopers. Cal's sharp senses detected the hurry in your movements and the terror in your expression as You ran through the packed streets, desperately trying to evade capture.

Without hesitation, Cal leapt into action, his instincts kicking into overdrive as he made his way through the chaotic crowds, dodging blaster fire and weaving through narrow alleyways in pursuit of You. Out of breath, he finally caught up to You, halting You in your tracks and reached out a hand to offer his help.

“Come with us!” The redhead urged, his voice firm yet reassuring as he glanced back at the approaching stormtroopers. “We have a ship. We can help you escape.”

Despite the opportunity presented before You, You hesitated, your eyes wide with fear and uncertainty as You weight your options.

“I’m not getting in a stranger’s ship!” You protested, your voice trembling with apprehension.

Cal’s gaze softened, understanding the gravity of your situation as he met your gaze with unwavering determination.

“You have a better idea?” He asked, his tone gentle yet firm as he kept his hand extended towards You.

You still appeared hesitant but the thunderous footsteps of the approaching stormtroopers and the urgent “Beep-bo-beep!” from the droid perched on the redhead’s back sealed the deal, making You choose the lesser of two evils. With a slight nod, You reached out to take the redhead’s hand, feeling a sense of trust and reassurance wash over You like a wave. Was it the Force trying to tell You something? You had no time to dwell on it, however, as Cal led You to his ship.

As the three of you boarded the Mantis, Cal’s eyes widened with excitement when they fell on the lightsaber strapped to your side, realisation dawning on him.

“You’re a Jedi!” He exclaimed, surprise apparent in his voice. “That’s why those Imps were after you.”

The knowledge brought him some hope, knowing that he had finally found another Jedi besides Cere, after all these years.

You simply nodded and hesitantly took the offered co-pilot seat as the ship soared through the vast outer space. You were unable to shake the feeling of apprehension that gripped You. The knowledge that Cal now knew You were a Jedi filled You with a sense of unease, knowing all too well the dangers that come with being hunted throughout the Galaxy. The thought of bounty hunters and Imperial forces closing in on You sent a shiver down your spine, and You couldn’t help but wonder if trusting Cal was a mistake.

However, as You stole a glance at him while he piloted the ship, You noticed something that caught You off guard—a lightsaber attached to his belt, just like yours. Your eyes widened in surprise as You turned to face him, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Are you… are you also a Jedi?” You asked, your voice full of uncertainty.

Cal’s face lit up with a smile, his green eyes sparkling with excitement and happiness.

“Yes, I am!” He exclaimed, voice full of joy. “I can’t believe I’ve finally found another Jedi!”

“Me too…” You whispered as the revelation sent a wave of relief washing over You. And sure enough, You felt his Force signature resonate around You, feeling his resilience, determination and a strong connection to the Light Side of the Force. However, while the signature carried traces of sorrow and grief, You were surprised by how warm and comforting it felt, enveloping You like a protective blanket. You were unable to remember the last time You felt someone’s Force signature—much less one as soothing. The feeling replaced your earlier apprehension with a sense of solidarity and companionship, relieved to know that You were not alone.

However, it still took time for You to feel comfortable around Cal, despite his warm demeanor and infectious enthusiasm. But slowly over time, You found yourself gradually opening up to the redhead, sharing stories of your past and your hopes for the future. Yet, a lingering sense of caution remained, a barrier that felt insurmountable at times.

But BD-1, Cal’s loyal droid friend, proved to be a source of comfort and solace during those moments of uncertainty. Seeing how happy Cal was once more, all because of your presence on board, BD-1 went out of his way to make You feel welcome with his cheerful chirps and friendly demeanour, offering You small gifts and gestures of kindness that never failed to bring a smile to your face.

And as You watched the little droid trot around the ship, trilling with excitement, You couldn’t help but feel a sense of gratitude towards him. His efforts to make You feel comfortable and at ease did not go unnoticed, and You found yourself growing fond of BD-1 in return.

Cal, too, noticed the bond that was forming between the both of you, and he couldn’t help but smile at the sight of his droid friend bringing joy and laughter into your life like he did for him. Seeing You happy lifted Cal’s spirits in ways he couldn’t fully explain, and he found himself opening up to You even more, sharing his hopes and fears with a newfound sense of trust and vulnerability.

Overall, BD-1’s efforts to make You feel comfortable and welcome were essential in helping You overcome your initial apprehension and form strong bonds of friendship with Cal and the droid. There were numerous instances which contributed to strengthening your bond with both of them.

One day, Cal and BD-1 ventured out on a mission while You agreed to stay behind on the Mantis to look after it and to provide backup support if needed. But when the duo failed to return when they should have, a sense of worry began to settle deep in your mind. Especially when You were unable to contact them via the comms. Time appeared to stretch on endlessly as You waited for their return, each minute that passed only made your concern grow. Feeling restless, You paced the length of the ship, your footsteps echoing in the empty corridors as You anxiously awaited their safe return.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, just when You contemplated going out to search for them, You heard footsteps and beeping sounds. You quickly rushed down the ramp to be greeted by the sight of Cal, looking a little worse for wear but otherwise unharmed. Your worries melted away in an instant as You ran over to greet him.

“Cal, you’re back!” You exclaimed, relief evident in your voice.

The redhead grinned wearily, his expression softened by your sight. “Hey…” He greeted, his voice tinged with exhaustion. “Sorry for the delay. We ran into a bit of trouble out there.”

Before You could respond, BD-1 chirped excitedly, leaping down from Cal's back and presented You with a tiny gift he ejected from his stim dispenser. With a delighted giggle, You accepted the gift, a simple trinket made from scavenged materials—a token of BD-1's affection and friendship.

As You thanked the little droid for the thoughtful gesture, Cal couldn't help but chuckle at the scene unfolding before him.

"Well, it looks like BeeDee gets all the attention," he quipped, his tone light-hearted as he approached you. "No warm welcome for a valiant hero like me, huh?"

You grinned at his playful remark, thankful that despite the dangers they faced on their mission, Cal and BD-1 had returned safely, and that was all that mattered in the end.

As you all walked back inside the Mantis together, Cal's arm draped casually over your shoulder, You couldn't help but feel a sense of belonging wash over You. And when BD-1 chirped happily beside You, You knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you would face them together as a team.

Another day, You remember sitting alone in the quiet solitude of your quarters at the back of the Mantis. With the weight of loneliness and longing pressing heavy on your heart, You couldn't help but feel the ache of missing your long-gone family and friends. Memories of happier times filled your mind, each recollection a bittersweet reminder of the bonds You had lost to the war of the Galaxy.

Meanwhile, out in the common area of the ship, Cal paced back and forth with furrowed brows, his concern for You evident in the worried lines etched upon his face. He had sensed your melancholy from the moment You had withdrawn to your quarters, and despite his best efforts to coax You out of your seclusion, You had insisted that You were fine, not wanting to burden him with your troubles.

But BD-1, after sensing your distress, took it upon himself to cheer You up. With a soft chirp, the little droid scuttled into your quarters, carrying an assortment of gifts and trinkets.

You looked up when BD-1 dropped the presents at your feet, startled by the unexpected intrusion. But when You gazed into the droid’s photoreceptor lenses, You noticed something—empathy, compassion and a silent invitation to share in his company.

With a small smile, you reached out to accept the gifts that BD-1 had brought for You, each one a small token of friendship and comfort in the midst of your loneliness. A handcrafted charm bracelet, a bundle of aromatic herbs, and a holorecording of soothing music—all thoughtfully chosen to lift your spirits and ease the ache in your heart.

As You held the gifts close to your heart, a wave of gratitude washed over You, grateful for the droid’s unwavering support and companionship.

When Cal noticed BD-1 entering your quarters, he longed to join in as well, wanting to do everything he could to make You feel better and suddenly, an idea came to him. Quickly, he brewed a cup of your favorite caf, its rich aroma filling the air. With each measured step, he poured his heart into the simple act of preparing the beverage, hoping that it will bring You some solace in the midst of your turmoil.

As the redhead slowly walked into your quarters with the steaming cup in hand, he felt a sense of relief wash over him at the sight of the little droid’s offerings laid out before You on your bed. He was grateful for BD-1’s presence, knowing that the little droid was looking after You in his own unique way, offering You comfort when You needed it the most.

When You saw Cal enter your quarters with hesitant steps, You couldn’t help but feel a surge of warmth in your chest at the sight of him. The small, sympathetic smile he wore tugged at your heartstrings, and as You watched him walk closer, your lips curved into a small smile of your own.

Slowly, Cal extended the cup towards You, his gesture a silent offering of support and understanding. And as You accepted the cup of caf, You felt a sense of gratitude, knowing that with Cal and BD-1 present, You were never truly alone, even in your moments of solitude. Their presence and unwavering support filled the room with a comforting sense of companionship that eased the ache in your heart.

When Cal moved to leave You to your thoughts, as You had requested earlier, a sudden impulse seized You. “ Cal, wait!” You called out, surprising yourself with the words.

Turning back to face You, the redhead’s expression was one of curiosity, his eyes searching yours.

“Would you… would you mind staying here for a while?” You asked, your voice soft with uncertainty. “I could use the company…”

A flicker of emotion passed through Cal’s eyes; a mixture of surprise, gratitude and something deeper You couldn’t quite recognise. With a small nod, he settled into the seat opposite You, his presence along with BD-1’s providing reassurance amidst your troubled thoughts.

And as you all sat together in the comfort of your quarters, the warmth of the caf and the gentle hum of conversation filled the air, slowly dissipating the tension from earlier. With each passing moment, You found yourself drawn deeper into the warmth of Cal’s presence, the sound of his deep voice soothing your worries.

As You listened to him speak, your gaze wandered, taking in the details of his appearance with a newfound appreciation. His fiery red hair, the brightest You had ever seen, seemed to glow in the soft light of the room.

His green eyes, so vibrant and full of life, sparkled with intelligence and kindness, drawing You in with their magnetic charm. And as You met his gaze, You found yourself captivated by the depth and warmth that lay within them, a reflection of the soul that resided behind those beautiful emerald orbs.

His freckles, scattered like constellations across his sun-kissed skin, added to his charm, giving him an air of boyish innocence that belied the immense strength and resilience he possessed. And though his face carried the marks of battles fought and hardships endured, each scar only served to enhance his rugged allure, a testament to the trials and tribulations he had overcome over the years.

While You took in the sight of him, bathed in the soft glow of the room, You couldn't help but feel a sense of awe and admiration wash over You. In that moment, surrounded by the comforting embrace of his presence, You knew that You were in the presence of someone truly special—a friend, a confidant, and perhaps something more.

As time went on and the bond between You and the duo deepened, You developed a deep, almost parental affection for the little droid, despite not understanding what he said half the time. Often, in moments of excitement or tenderness, You found yourself affectionately calling BD-1 "Beebee" or "BB-1," much to Cal’s amusement.

During one particularly heartwarming moment by the campfire during a stop on Bogano, as Cal's hand brushed against yours and the stars twinkled overhead, You couldn't resist reaching out to BD-1 with a soft smile.

"Come here, Beebee," You cooed, beckoning the droid closer.

BD-1 chirped happily, nuzzling against your side with a warmth that made your heart swell.

Cal chuckled at the endearing nickname, his eyes crinkling with affection as he observed the exchange.

"You're my little bebe!" You exclaimed, unable to contain your adoration for the droid, causing Cal's laughter to fill the air, a melodic sound that echoed through the night.

"You're going to spoil him with all that love," he teased, his playful tone only adding to the warmth of the moment.

You grinned, feeling a sense of contentment wash over You. "Well, he deserves it," You replied, reaching out to pat BD-1's head affectionately.

Another one of your adventures led you all to an enchanting night market, where the dim glow of colourful lanterns illuminated the bustling streets. Cloaked in hooded robes that disguised your identities, You and Cal strolled through the bustling streets and crowds of people. The outer rim planet that you all had landed on was far from the watchful eyes of the Empire, but the threat of being hunted down as Jedi still lingered, necessitating caution in your movements.

As you both moved through the sea of sellers and stalls, You couldn't help but steal glances at Cal, admiring how handsome and mysterious he looked in his black cloak.

Cal too stole glances at You from beneath his hood, unable to contain his admiration. The way your eyes sparkled with curiosity as You took in the sights and sounds around You, the delicate curve of your smile as You marveled at the many stalls— it all filled him with a warmth that he couldn't quite explain.

His thoughts drifted to uncharted territory as he found himself yearning for more than just companionship with You. The urge to reach out and hold You close, to feel the warmth of your embrace and the softness of your touch, tugged at his heartstrings with an intensity he hadn't anticipated.

But the redhead knew better than to act on such impulses, especially in the midst of such a perilous situation. The threat of danger loomed overhead, reminding him of the risks involved in allowing his emotions to take control. And yet, despite the rational voice of caution in his mind, he couldn't shake the longing that stirred within him whenever he looked at You.

And as You turned to face him with a curious expression, he felt a rush of warmth fill his chest, the desire to protect and cherish You overwhelming any doubts or fears that lingered within him. In that moment, surrounded by the hustle and bustle of the night market, Cal knew one thing for certain; he would do anything to keep You safe.

The redhead’s thoughts were interrupted when You suddenly rushed inside a bookstore with shelves full of interesting titles. Among them, a book on how to learn Binary stuck out, with a cover full of symbols and characters that attracted your interest.

"Hey, Cal, check this out!" You exclaimed, excitedly holding up the book after he caught up to You. "I've always wanted to learn Binary, especially now so I can understand Beebee better. What do you think?"

Cal glanced at the book, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "I think that's a great idea," he replied, his voice warm with encouragement. "Learning Binary could definitely help you and Beedee communicate more effectively."

Turning to BD-1, who was perched on Cal's shoulder, You addressed the droid with a playful grin. "What do you think, Beebee? You think I can learn Binary? Then you and I can gossip like schoolgirls, won't that be fun?"

Cal chuckled at your remark, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "I definitely think Beedee will have some juicy gossip to tell you," he quipped, eliciting a series of excited beeps from the droid. "But yeah, learning Binary sounds like a fantastic idea. Just promise me one thing: as long as you both don't gossip about me, I'm all for it."

You giggled in response before purchasing the book and tucking it safely into your robes. For some reason, You hadn’t thought to ask Cal for lessons, thinking You could learn on your own and not wanting to trouble him as he already had too much on his plate. But now, with the book in hand, You were eager to begin learning.

After weeks turned to months aboard the Mantis, You received communication from a distant friend from within the rebellion You worked for, presenting You with a difficult choice. The holographic image flickered to life from within your now fixed comms unit, revealing the face of a trusted ally, their voice filled with urgency and determination as they extended an invitation for You to return to the rebellion.

For a moment, You felt torn, the call to duty and the desire to make a difference in the Galaxy making You feel conflicted. The rebellion was your way of fighting for freedom and justice alongside allies who shared your ideals and convictions.

But as You glanced around the familiar surroundings of the Mantis, the faces of Cal and BD-1 staring back at You with concern and uncertainty, You realised that this ship had become more than just a travelling vessel—it was your sanctuary, your home.

Cal, ever perceptive to the turmoil raging within You, approached with a gentle hand resting on your shoulder, his eyes filled with understanding and empathy. “Whatever you decide, know that we’re here for you,” he said, his voice soft and reassuring. “You’re a part of this crew, a part of this family, and we’ll support you no matter what.”

With a heavy heart, You weighed your options, torn between the duty to your cause and the love for your newfound family.

In the end, You made your decision, lead on by your stubborn sense of duty to the cause. The call to serve the rebellion beckoned with an undeniable urgency. In a way, You and Cal were very similar, feeling like you both needed to keep fighting, unable to shake the sense of duty that weight heavily on both of you.

Cal accepted your decision with great reluctance, having half a mind to join You but he had his own duty to fulfill for Saw Gerrera’s rebellion.

When the moment of your departure drew closer, Cal and BD-1 stood beside You as You gathered your meagre belongings, their expressions a mirror of your own conflicted emotions, as You prepared to leave. The duo knew that your absence would leave a void aboard the Mantis that would be difficult to fill.

Cal, ever stoic and composed, held his emotions in check, offering You a reassuring smile as he bid You farewell. His words of encouragement and support echoed in your ears, reminding You that You were not alone in your decision, no matter how difficult it may be.

BD-1 on the other hand, unable to contain his emotions, wailed and cried, clinging to your legs desperately as You attempted to walk down the ramp of the Mantis and onto the planet. The little droid’s cries of distress tore at your heartstrings, filling You with a sense of guilt and anguish as You struggled to pull away.

“Beebee, it’s okay,” You whispered, calling him with that endearing nickname, your voice thick with emotions as You tried to soothe the distraught droid. “I’ll come back, I promise. We’ll see eachother again soon.”

But BD-1’s cries only grew louder, his little legs clinging to You in a desperate embrace, refusing to let go. Tears welled in your eyes as You looked into the droid’s photoreceptors, seeing the depth of his sorrow reflected back at You.

As he watched BD-1 cling to You with such desperation, witnessing the droid’s anguish and your distress, Cal felt a pang of sorrow and longing grip his heart as well. He slowly approached you both, gently reaching out to the droid. “’We shouldn’t be doing this’,” he murmured softly, his voice laced with sorrow as he pried BD-1 away from You. “We must respect others’ decisions…”

The redhead wanted nothing more than to embrace You, to hold You close and offer You comfort in this difficult moment. But he knew that if he allowed himself to give in to that temptation, he would break down completely. With a heavy heart, Cal settled for a handshake instead, his touch gentle yet firm as he bid You farewell. He knew that letting You go was the right thing to do, even if it tore him apart inside.

With a heavy heart, your touch lingered on Cal’s hand before You gave BD-1 one last reassuring pat before finally stepping away and descending down the ramp. And as You walked away, the echoes of BD-1's cries followed You, a haunting reminder of the sacrifice You had made in the name of duty.

As your silhouette faded into the horizon, Cal couldn’t shake the weight of grief that settled in his chest. Watching you leave, he couldn't help but reflect on the bond that had formed between You, him and BD-1, realizing how much he and the little droid had come to cherish You.

In the short time You had been aboard the Mantis, You had become like family to them. And now, just as they had grown accustomed to your presence, You were leaving them, all too soon, like so many others before You.

The thought of saying goodbye was nearly unbearable, a painful reminder of the transience of life and the fleeting nature of companionship in a Galaxy ripped apart by conflict and suffering. But even as the pain of loss threatened to overwhelm him, Cal knew that he couldn't hold You back, knowing all too well that your duty to the rebellion was a call You could not ignore.

As Cal returned inside the Mantis, a heaviness settled upon him, weighing down his spirit with the burden of your departure. Unable to muster the resolve to fly the ship just yet, he found himself sinking into melancholy, the empty space around him echoing with the absence of your presence.

Sitting in the cockpit, Cal held BD-1 close to him, the little droid providing what comfort it could with its mechanical chirps and beeps. But even as he clung to BD-1, a sense of loneliness overcame him, a stark reminder of the void left behind by your absence.

"BeeDee," Cal murmured softly, his voice tinged with sadness. "We... We both really did come to love our new friend, didn't we?"

"Boo-woo..." BD-1 beeped in response, his photoreceptors dimming with sorrow as he nestled closer to the redhead. In that moment, as they sat together in the silent cockpit, Cal sought solace in the presence of his loyal droid.

BD-1 then emitted a flurry of hurried beeps, crying out to Cal with urgency, telling—demanding him to bring You back right this instant. Cal felt a pang of sadness grip his heart as the desperation in BD-1's cries mirrored his own inner turmoil, reminding him of the depth of the bond that had formed between him and You.

"We shouldn't be doing something like this..." Cal repeated solemnly, shaking his head as he recalled his earlier words when BD had clung to You. "We can't force someone like that..."

His voice was heavy with resignation, a reflection of the harsh reality they faced. Despite their wishes and desires, they couldn't force You to stay, no matter how much they wanted to. The decision was yours alone to make, and they had to respect that, no matter how difficult it may be.

BD-1 emitted a series of mournful beeps in response, his sorrow palpable as he nestled closer to Cal, seeking solace in his presence. Together, they sat in the quiet confines of the cockpit, grappling with the emptiness left behind by your departure, silently hoping that You will return to them one day.

Meanwhile, as the evening turned into night, You found yourself immersed in the routine of life within the rebellion's base once more, but the memory of leaving your newfound family behind weighed heavily on your mind. Amidst the chatter and activity of your fellow rebels, a sense of longing gnawed at your heart, aching for the companionship and camaraderie You had experienced aboard the Mantis.

In the quiet solitude of your old quarters, You unpacked your belongings, the Binary language book You had purchased a few weeks earlier catching your eye. The sight of it brought back precious memories, reminding You of the laughter, the warmth, and the sense of belonging You had felt with Cal and BD-1. In that moment, You realised with a pang of regret how big of a mistake You had made in leaving them behind.

With resolution burning within You, You made a spur-of-the-moment decision to return to the Mantis, hoping against hope that it wasn't too late. Racing through the dimly lit corridors of the rebellion's base, your heart pounded with anticipation as You hurried towards the landing pad where the ship was stationed.

As You approached, the silhouette of the Mantis came into view, bathed in the soft glow of moonlight. Relief washed over You as You realised despite the few hours that had passed since You had left, the ship was still there, almost as if waiting patiently for your return.

You ran up the ramp and inside the ship, your breath coming in ragged gasps as your gaze fell on the solemn figures of Cal and BD-1. For a brief moment, confusion flickered across their faces, but it quickly gave way to surprise and joy as they realised that You had returned.

BD-1 was the first to react, emitting a series of excited beeps as he rushed towards You. Tears welled up in your eyes as You knelt down to greet the little droid, wrapping your arms around his small frame in a tight embrace.

"I'm so sorry," You whispered tearfully. "I didn't mean to leave you. I didn't realise how much you both meant to me until I was gone."

BD-1 chirped softly in response, his photoreceptors gleaming with happiness as he nuzzled against You. Meanwhile, Cal approached slowly, his expression a mixture of relief and concern as he watched the emotional reunion unfold before him.

"Welcome back," he said softly, his voice tinged with emotion.

With BD-1 by your side as a reassuring presence, You rose from your embrace with the droid and turned to face Cal, the weight of your emotions spilling over as You threw your arms around him in a tight hug.

As You hugged Cal, your heart overflowing with emotion, he returned the embrace just as fervently, his strong arms enveloping You in a comforting hold.

"I'm so sorry, Cal," You whispered once more, your voice trembling. "I didn't mean to leave you both..."

Cal held You at arm's length, his gaze meeting yours with a mixture of relief and sincerity. "You mean a lot to us, you know," he said softly, his voice carrying the weight of his feelings. "We've come to rely on you, to count on you. And when you left..."

His voice trailed off, the unspoken words hanging heavy in the air. But before You could respond, BD-1 let out a series of joyful beeps, trotting over to nuzzle against You in his own display of affection.

The redhead grinned fondly at the droid before turning his attention back to You. "Beedee's right. You're not just a member of the crew," he continued, his words filled with warmth. "You're family. And we're just grateful to have you back where you belong."

Tears of gratitude flowed down your cheeks as You gazed at Cal, feeling the weight of his words sink in. In that moment, surrounded by the love and acceptance of your chosen family, You knew that You were exactly where You were meant to be.

Your adventures continued, roaming the Galaxy with Cal and BD-1. Despite using your book to teach yourself Binary and spending more time with BD-1, your grasp of the language remained shaky at best, leading to frequent misunderstandings with your droid friend that often led to comical yet occasionally embarrassing moments.

During one very tense mission on a remote planet, BD-1 emitted a series of urgent beeps, which You interpreted as a call for action. Without hesitation, You activated the nearest control panel, thinking You were helping to disable a security system. But your actions did the opposite instead, triggering a blaring alarm and alerting nearby guards.

Cal chuckled softly at your mistake, but his amusement turned to concern when You misinterpreted BD-1's attempts at giving directions using the help of his holomap. Confused by the droid's beeps, You accidentally led the way into a dead-end corridor, much to Cal's bemusement.

"Oh, wrong turn…" You mumbled sheepishly, earning a sympathetic pat on the back from Cal.

As the mission progressed, so did your series of misunderstandings. At one point, BD-1 signaled for a left turn, but You mistook it for a right, resulting on a wild goose chase through a maze of corridors. Cal laughed good-naturedly as You backtracked, feeling slightly embarrassed but grateful— and very surprised—for his immense patience.

Later, during a small respite from missions, BD-1 chirped happily and nudged You, prompting You to offer the droid a sandwich You had just made.

Cal chuckled again, gently correcting your mistake. "He's asking for a power recharge, not a snack," he explained, suppressing a grin.

Blushing, You quickly helped BD-1 into the charging station, feeling a bit silly but grateful for the opportunity to learn.

As you three continued your journey, your misunderstandings with BD-1 became both more frequent and more amusing. One memorable incident during a mission on a remote outpost, BD-1 quickly warned You about a slippery surface ahead. However, You misinterpreted the droid's chirps as encouragement for a fun slide.

With a playful grin, You ran and launched yourself onto the surface, expecting a thrilling ride. Instead, your feet flew out from under You, and You landed with a loud thud that sent a cloud of dust into the air.

Cal rushed over, concern etched on his face, but as he helped You up and noticed You were fine except a few scrapes, his expression softened into a grin.

"You really need to work on your Binary," he teased, his eyes twinkling with mirth.

Blushing furiously, You burst out into laughter along with him, grateful for his good humor and unwavering support.

One evening, as the three of you sat around a campfire beneath a blanket of stars, the flames casting flickering shadows across the campsite, You couldn't help but steal glances at Cal when he wasn't looking. His red hair, illuminated by the warm glow of the fire, appeared to shimmer like molten copper, framing his face in a halo of fiery strands.

His freckled cheeks, kissed by the suns of countless worlds, added a touch of youthful charm to his rugged features. And when he laughed, his eyes sparkled like twin galaxies, filled with a light that seemed to chase away the darkness.

But it wasn't just his appearance that captivated You—it was the effortless grace with which he moved, the strength and agility evident in every fluid motion. His muscular yet lithe physique reflected countless hours spent honing his skills, preparing for the challenges that lay ahead.

Lost in admiration, You found yourself drawn to him in ways You couldn't quite explain, feeling a sense of déjà vu during that moment as You admired him. And as You watched him tend to the fire, his movements sure and purposeful, You couldn't help but feel a flutter of excitement in your chest.

While the flames danced and crackled, Cal couldn't help but steal a glance at You as well when he thought You weren't looking. He felt a surge of gratitude and relief to have You there with him, especially after the rest of the Mantis crew had split, each going their separate ways.

In those quiet moments by the campfire, Cal's thoughts drifted to the challenges you had faced together so far—the battles fought and the bonds forged in the crucible of adversity. And through it all, You had stood by his side, a constant companion whose presence filled him with a sense of hope and purpose.

He also admired your determination to learn binary, your willingness to laugh at your own mistakes, and the genuine warmth and affection You showed towards BD-1. In your company, he found a sense of peace and belonging, something he hadn't felt since the fall of the Jedi Order.

Lost in his thoughts, the redhead couldn't help but feel a surge of affection for You, grateful for your unwavering support and companionship. And as he watched You, a smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

Cal's gaze remained on You longer than usual, a hint of something more lingering in his eyes. As the crackling of the fire filled the silence, he reached out to gently brush a stray strand of hair from your face, his touch sending a shiver down your spine.

"Are you alright?" he asked softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

Caught off guard by the intensity of his gaze, You nodded, unable to tear your eyes away from his.

"I... I think so," You stuttered, your heart racing in your chest.

In that moment, the world around You seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you in the soft glow of the campfire. Without another word, Cal leaned in closer, his lips brushing against yours in a tender, hesitant kiss.

Time seemed to stand still as You melted into his embrace, the warmth of his touch sending sparks of electricity dancing across your skin. In that moment, nothing else mattered but the two of you, lost in the embrace of the night.

As You pulled away, breathless and flushed, Cal's eyes sparkled in their intensity, his calloused hand reaching out to intertwine with yours.

"I've been wanting to do that for a long time," he admitted, his voice filled with a mixture of longing and relief.

With a smile, You squeezed his hand, feeling a sense of peace settle over You. "Me too," You whispered, knowing that in that moment, You had found something worth fighting for amidst the chaos of the Galaxy.

As You and Cal continued to lovingly gaze into each other's eyes, soft little footsteps filled the air, accompanied by the joyous chirps of BD-1. However, in your post-kiss daze, You misinterpreted the droid's enthusiastic speech, thinking he was teasing You for being all googly-eyed over Cal.

"Beebee, not now," You whispered nervously, blushing furiously as You tried to compose yourself.

Cal laughed, his eyes sparkling with amusement as he gently nudged You. "I think BeeDee is just happy for us," he teased, his tone laced with affectionate amusement.

You shot him a sheepish grin, realising You mistook the little droid once again. "I guess I still have a lot to learn," You admitted.

Cal's teasing grin softened into a warm smile as he squeezed your hand. "Well, lucky for you, I'm an excellent teacher," he replied, his teasing tone hinting at something more than just language lessons.

You couldn't help but blush at the underlying implication of his words, a flutter of excitement dancing in your chest. You leaned in to kiss him once more and as the tender moment between You and Cal lingered, bathed in the soft glow of the campfire, BD-1’s lenses suddenly whirred to life, capturing the scene in a flash of light. Startled, You pulled away from the kiss, blinking in surprise as You turned to see the droid standing nearby, his photoreceptors zooming in and out as they focused on You and Cal with mechanical precision.

“BeeBee, what are you doing?” You asked, a mixture of amusement and curiosity apparent in your voice.

Cal chuckled softly, his arm still wrapped around You as he glanced at the small droid with a playful grin. “I think BeeDee wanted to capture the moment,” he explained, his eyes alight with amusement.

You couldn’t help but laugh at the unexpected gesture, feeling a rush of warmth fill your chest at the thought of having a memento of this special moment.

“Well, I guess we’ll have to thank BeeBee for the souvenir,” You replied, leaning into Cal’s embrace with a contented sigh, giggling when You heard the little droid let out an excited “Whoop!” in response.

You, Cal and BD-1 settled back into the quiet comfort of the night, the image captured by BD’s lenses served as a reminder of the bond You shared with the other Jedi—a bond formed from friendship and love.

As silence once again fell upon the campsite, You found yourself lost in a moment of quiet reflection. The memory of how Cal and BD-1 had found You, helping You escape from the stormtroopers, flooded your mind with a wave of gratitude. If it hadn't been for them, You might not be here, nestled in Cal's arms, sharing laughter and companionship under the starry sky.

With a sweet smile, You turned to Cal, the flickering flames casting shadows across his features. "You know," You began softly, "I often find myself thinking about that day when a Jedi and a droid came into my life. If it weren't for you, I don't know where I'd be now. Thank you, Cal, for everything."

Cal's gaze met yours, his expression tender and sincere. "You don't have to thank me," he replied gently. "I'm just grateful that we found each other. You've become a part of our family, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

His words warmed your heart, filling You with a sense of belonging that You had never known before. With a grateful nod, You leaned even further into his embrace, savoring the comfort and reassurance of his presence. In that moment, surrounded by the silence of the night, the warmth of Cal's love and the joyous chatter of BD-1, You knew that You were exactly where You were meant to be.

[munsonsmixtapes]

Truth or Drink

actor!Eddie x actress!reader

summary: you and Eddie play a game of truth or drink for an interview

cw: mention of alcohol

You and Eddie had been hesitant to do an interview as a couple but as soon as you were offered an opportunity to play truth or drink, you knew you had to take it. Answering questions with alcohol would have definitely made it easier. Especially because you were unsure of what was going to be asked.

You sat across from each other at a table on the set where the segment was filmed and you both got comfortable while everything was being set up. You and Eddie had watched a couple of episodes the night before so you knew exactly what to expect. All you had to do was answer the questions truthfully and if you couldn’t, you had to take a shot.

The camera was all set and there was a countdown before the camera started rolling. You and Eddie put on your smiles that you had perfected over the years and turned to face the camera to introduce yourselves. The guy behind it counted down from three then pointed, signaling that it was your time to shine.

“I’m Eddie Munson.”

“And I’m y/n l/n and this is truth or drink.”

The camera cut and they brought in the cards that held the questions. For once, you weren’t nervous. And that was usual for you because you always were when it came to interviews. Eddie looked at you and reached across the table for your hand and you gave it to him to which he gave it a squeeze.

Eddie wasn’t nervous in the slightest. In fact, he was excited. Doing an interview with his girl and getting free booze? It was a win-win in his mind. And he was interested to see what kind of questions were going to be asked. He was an open book. Nothing was off limits.

“Do you want to start or should I?” You asked as you looked down at the card in front of you.

“Ladies first,” he gave your hand another squeeze before letting it go.

“Okay,” you nodded then cleared your throat. “This one’s starting off strong. Out of all of your exes, who’s your favorite?”

“Easy,” he shrugged and you panicked. “None. You’re my favorite, babe.”

“I don’t think that counts,” you shook your head. “I think you’re gonna have to drink.” You looked at the crew behind the camera and they all nodded in agreement. “Drink up, Eds.”

Eddie downed the shot and felt it burn all the way down. He slammed down the glass then picked up his own cards, letting out a laugh at the question he had just read.

“Oh, this one is good,” he laughed. “Fuck, marry, kill my most popular characters: Cal Burns, Mason Brooks, and Theodore Lee.”

“God, that is a good one,” you nodded. “Fuck Cal, obviously.”

“That was quick,” Eddie scoffed, but he did want you to say Cal. He really liked playing that character and the depth that he had to him.

“I like cowboys, sue me.” He didn’t blame you at all. He totally saw the appeal.

“Marry Mason because he was in the movie where we fell in love.” That warmed Eddie’s heart and made him feel like he never had before.

“You’re such a sap,” he teased, but he loved that about you. It was one of his favorite qualities about you.

“And you love it,” you winked, making him go weak in the knees and he was so glad he was sitting.

“I do,” he nodded with a smile.

“And I guess kill Theo. He’s an ass.”

“True,” he shrugged.

“My turn again. Name someone who you didn’t like working with.” Oh, he couldn’t answer that. He was thinking of someone, but even he knew it wasn’t right to say.

“Got me again, angel.” Eddie downed yet another shot and nodded in approval at the question on his card. This one was so good and definitely going to make you drink.

“What’s so funny, Edward?”

“Name someone who has slid into your DMs.” You thought about it, but didn’t think it was a good idea to say. You didn’t think it was right to make something so personal public. So, with that, you downed the shot, making a face as it burned your throat.

The game went on and on until Eddie finished all of his shots and you only had two empty glasses. Even though it wasn’t a competition, Eddie had crowned you the winner. Normally, you were the one who was closed off, but this time, you were an open book and he admired that you had answered almost every single question. There was so much growth from you since you had gotten together and he couldn’t have been more proud of you.

[fangirl-inthe-outer-rim]

Lazy Morning

Cal Kestis x Reader

Summary: You and Cal have a lazy morning.

A/N: It's been a while since I looked at my star wars fics. I have advanced my writing so much and you will see once I actually get started on my Survivor fic. Hope you enjoy this one no matter how old it is!

“Ugh,” I groaned after being roused from my slumber. Those on this junk planet were already awake and clearly didn’t care about how tired I was. Suddenly, A hand came into view and slapped me in the face.

“Mmhmm huh?” Cal beside me had just woken up.

“Cal!” I watched as he jerked up, he was definitely more awake now.

“Sorry! Sorry! I didn’t mean to do that!” 

A huge grin spread across my face. Cal followed suit. Giggling, Cal fell back on the bed as the laughter to consumed him. I had curled up due to the intense feeling in my stomach.

Once we had calmed down, we had curled up next to each other. I rested my head on his chest with an arm around his waist. He had his arms wrapped around me and rested his chin on my head. We lay there for a few moments basking in the presence of each other.

“Prauf and I are working on the star destroyer that came in three days ago.”

“Yeah? I’ll be there too I think. I’m helping Osira and the crew with cutting the wing.”

“Sounds like the both of us have an exciting day ahead of us.”

I snickered as we both climbed out of bed. There was no struggle in getting ready. Even if our space was small. We’d perfected the motions over the past two and a half years we’ve been together. As I brushed my teeth, I thought of the moment when I met Cal.

(:)

I was late. I was so late! Kriff, my boss is going to kill me! If I had actually gone to bed when I was supposed to I wouldn’t be in this predicament. But no, I let the girls talk me into going out on the odd chance that I’d meet someone. It was a great night and I sort of met someone. I probably won’t see him again. Since I didn’t have any way of contacting the man. I don’t even think I remember his name. Oh, what was it? Cam? Caer? Ugh, I can’t remember! I need to stop thinking about him and hurry up and get to work.

It was as if fate had a funny way of messing with me. I got to work which started out with an earful from my boss. Then I was shipped off to help out one of the riggers. The irony didn’t fully set in until I reached my post for the day.

“Hey, um… I’m supposed to be helping you out today.” I cautiously approached the man kneeling on the ground. I couldn’t really see him because of a shadow.

When there was no reply I spoke again, “Excuse me? Did you hear me, sir?” Yet again there was no response. That is until I heard a chuckle to my left. An Abednedo stood there watching the exchange.

“He can’t hear you. He’s got headphones on.” The massive Abednedo moved closer to the man and me. “Name’s Prauf. This oblivious idiot’s name is Cal.” My eyebrows drew. I knew that name from somewhere.

“Hey, Cal! You got someone here trying to talk to ya!” With Prauf’s booming voice, Cal finally moved.

Standing up and turning around, the man, looked at Prauf. “What’d ya say, buddy?”

“This one’s been trying to get your attention for a few minutes now”

Cal turned to me and his eyes widened. I followed his movement. This is the man from the night before! The one from the bar. I knew I recognized the name.

“I didn’t think I’d see you ever again. I don’t mean that in a mean way. I just… We never really exchanged any information.”

“Yeah, no. I get it. I felt the same way too. I uh, was told to come help you. I guess the force has a way of bringing people together.” At the mention of the force, Cal’s eyes widened but soon returned to normal.

“Heh, no kidding.”

(:)

“Hello, Y/N, come back to me.” Cal waved his hands in front of my face.

“Oh, sorry. I zoned out.”

“I can see that. What were you thinking about?”

“Just how we met.” I heard Cal snicker, “What?”

“Nothing, nothing. Just how that worked out.” Cal, with a grin, pulled me closer, “I’m glad it happened though.” With a light peck, Cal let me go.

I quickly finished in the bathroom as Cal ran around our place looking for some clean socks. I simply walked into our bedroom and found a pair of socks and presented the socks to the man. With a grumble, Cal took the socks. Now ready, we said our goodbyes and went to our posts.

Tags (Add yourself here!): None yet...

[bereft-of-frogs]

the station | chapter 1 / 12

Post-Fallen Order: After months of halfhearted attempts, the Haxion Brood finally gets the jump on the Mantis crew. They drag their prisoners back to Sorc Tormo's new venture, a half-constructed station in a remote asteroid belt, where he has a proposition for them: Greez's debts, erased, as long as the crew helps him track down a troublesome old friend. With hostages, visceral threats of violence, and a former-Imperial staffer consultant pulling the strings, it seems the Brood has the upper hand. But there is one narrow way through: the crew just has to trust each other and hope that the bluff can be called.

chapter 1: shrouded in mist

Cere stops the playback and swivels her chair to face him. “Stick together this time. I’d prefer neither of you be out there on your own.” Cal raises an eyebrow. The planet had seemed peaceful on their flyby at dusk the day before. No signs of life more threatening than the local fauna, and nothing in the system either. “Something on the comms? Or…?” She shakes her head. “Nothing on comms so far. And it’s not that I’m sensing any danger, nothing distinct anyway. Just…a bad feeling. I’ll keep watch on the comms and traffic, and contact you if there’s any danger. Just stay together and be back before dark.” The Mantis crew sets off on an quest to find an archaic device on a misty, peaceful planet -- peaceful, until they’re caught by an ambush. The Haxion Brood’s brought out everything they’ve got this time and the crew might not be able to wriggle their way out of this one…

[ link to ao3 ]

Posting this first chapter a little early because it happily coincided with @calkestisweek's day one prompt "But First They Have to Catch You" (And They Do!) (<- ok I added that last little part). I've been working on this since last October, honestly had the general concept on the 'vague ideas list' for about 3 years now, and I'm super excited to start posting it. I do want to keep to a Wednesday posting schedule, so after this the next chapter will be posted on May 22nd, and then it will be weekly on Wednesdays from there.

Enjoy! ;-)

[blenderhemmings]

sneaking around (calum hood)

calum hood x non binary!oc (they/them)

summary: sneaking around and fucking their tour photographer was NOT part of calums plan, but maybe its just what he needs

word count: 3524

warnings/rating: explicit (18+ minors do not interact), hooking up, awkward sexual situations, enthusiastic consent, OC is their tour photographer, calum had a slut era, whoops he got caught, insta love? maybe? idk, at least from calums pov, OC is demiromantic but also a slut, the OC is non-binary AFAB, a good amount of cock, sub!Calum, but hes actually a switch in this universe, dom!OC

notes: this oc was created by my friend and i for a large and queer fanfic universe we've been building for OVER a year. some quick visual pointers of the OC: theyre 6'2, have split dyed black-blue hair, a lot of tattoos, and dress in a lot of gothic-punk black outfits (platforms are a must).

this fic is cross posted to my AO3

It was their last meeting before the tour and Calum was fidgety to say the least. He couldn’t keep his eyes off the tall, dark haired, and heavily tattooed person sat across the table from him. His knee bounced as people kept talking, waiting anxiously for the person to be introduced to them.

“And this is Archer. They’ll be your photographer on this tour. We’re sorry the other photographer had to cancel on us last minute, but Archer is a wonderful photographer.” Their tour manager said, motioning towards the now named person. Calums eyes lit up, a smile spreading across his face as he leaned across the table to shake their hand.

“Archie works just as well.” They said, a soft smile slipping across their face, shaking hands with Ashton and then Calum. “I actually prefer that. I’m excited to meet the four of you, and I’m so sorry it’s last minute.”

Calum kept a laser focus on Archie, watching their every move as they talked with the rest of the band and crew. He was transfixed on their movements, unsure of what lured him in. Was it the fact he’d really never met anyone as tall as him? Could it be the split dye hair, their soft facial features, or even the large amount of tattoos littering their body? He’d never know, but he knew that he wanted to shake their hand again, just as an excuse to hold it.

He was confused by his feelings. This was someone he just met, he shouldn’t feel this way. He was used to the casual hook up in LA. Using Tinder and Bumble to meet anyone looking for something casual. Fuck buddies, one night stands, and month long flings were his best friend. He’d never wanted to settle down, but he was always looking for a good fuck. It didn’t matter who it was, as long as he was getting that sexual fix.

Once the tour began, Calum started to notice that Archie was a distraction. He’d fumble during soundcheck, watching them walk around the venue to find vantage points. He’d miss a note here and there or trip over his own feet when he saw them in the photo pit. His reaction was worse the closer Archie got to him, quietly hyperventilating and struggling to keep his composure.

They were about four shows deep when Archie pulled Calum aside, “Hey, Cal, question. When we get back to the hotel, can you come to my room? I need your help picking photos of you for the show recap post.” They smiled, leaning back in the chair a bit, scrolling through the photos, picking the ones to set aside and show Calum later that night. “We don’t have time here, so just meet me in my room, yeah?”

Calum nodded, fingers tugging at the hem of his shirt, trying to hide the anxious look on his face. “I- uh, yeah, I can do that. You’re in room 687, right?” “678, actually. Don’t go knocking for a stranger. I don’t think that’s one of our rooms.” They laughed, closing their laptop and shoving it in their backpack, zipping it up and checking through their camera bag one last time, accounting for all their equipment. Archie got up and patted Calum’s arm, walking out of the room. He was lost in thought and left in the unknown until he’d be meeting up with Archie later that night.

He didn’t go to their room right away. Calum found himself lingering in Michaels room, fighting with himself about getting up to go see the photos. “Dude, why is hanging out with Archie eating you alive? It’s literally to ask you about some photos, relax.” Michael grabbed Calum's shoulders from behind, squeezing him a little, “Unless somebody has a little crush or something.”

“Why do you think I have a crush on them? I barely know them and I don’t want to like anybody like that either. I’m fine being single for now. You know fucking around is what I do best.” Calum sighed, feeling Michaels hand on his shoulder, squeezing it slightly. “Not every interaction I have with people like this is because I like them.”

“Yeah, but you’ve never acted this way with anyone else.” Calum went red with Michael’s words. He wasn’t wrong, but Calum was scared for him to be right.

“I- Shut up! It’s just photos, I’m just going to help Archie pick out some photos, I’ll be back.” Calum sighed, getting up from the chair in Michael’s room, and heading towards Archie’s. Maybe Michael was right, he had the slightest crush, but it was nothing worth acting upon. They only met a month ago and he barely knew anything about Archie. All he knew was that they were the in-house photographer for a venue in their hometown, had at least 50 tattoos, and they both used the same blue hair dye.

His knock was weak, but Archie heard it. There was shuffling on the other side of the door, and then their voice. “Didn’t I give you a keycard?” Calum panicked, digging through his wallet, only for it not to be there. All he had was his own keycard, bank cards, tour laminate, and a bit of cash. 

“Uh… I forgot it? I came from Michael’s room. Let me in, please?” Calum asked, flipping through his cards again, checking that he didn’t miss it. Archie laughed, unlocking the door and opening it for Calum. “T-thanks. So… Those photos?”

“Right, the photos.” Archie was antsy, bouncing back and forth on their feet before sitting on the edge of the bed. Calum understood the emotion though, he couldn’t imagine being placed into a new environment, forced to get the band's best angles and post their work for millions to see. “Those… they're… let me grab my laptop.”

They dug around in their bag for the hard drive and their laptop, pulling both out to go through the photos with him. “Why… why just me? Don’t you have to ask the others too?”

“I have the most photos of you, so it’d be easier to get it out the way now. I have time with them tomorrow. I need good photos of you, yanno?” Calum nodded at Archie’s words, sitting on the edge of the bed, watching the photos appear on the screen before him. Archie had a good eye and Calum was glad management was able to get them to be their photographer. “Are there any you see right away that you want for sure or any you want deleted?”

Calum shook his head, watching Archie scroll through the hundreds of photos, many looked like they were taken in bursts. 

“Can I have some of these?” He pointed to the black and white photos on the screen.

“Yeah, those are already edited. There was a bright blue light behind you and it was hard to save it, so I made it black and white.” Calum nodded as if he knew anything about photo editing. “I messed with the white balance and exposure to try to take away from how bright the light is, but black and white saved it.”

Archie closed their laptop, placing it on the nightstand, hands folding in their lap, swallowing the lump in their throat. “Uh… this is… this is poorly timed, but can I kiss you?” Calum went cold, goosebumps forming on his arms, eyes wide. It’s like the world froze as his chest went heavy. “God, that’s a dumb question. We barely know each other, let's just get back to the photos.”

Calum shook his head, leaning into Archie, one hand on their thigh, the other unsure where to sit. “That’s not a dumb question, you’re just scared.” Calum leaned in further, pressing his forehead against theirs and then his lips to theirs as well.

He’d kissed hundreds of people in the last few months, but nothing was as good as this. Nobody ever tasted as sweet as Archies vanilla-orange chapstick or smelled as good as their cologne. The kiss progressed quickly, Archie knocking Calum down onto the bed, taking full control.

“C-can I?” Calum nodded, feeling a cold hand slip under his shirt, going towards his chest and then back down to the hem to pull it away from his skin. “I- Uh… My shirt’s gonna… it’s gonna stay on. Is that okay?” Calum nodded again. He didn’t care how clothed Archie stayed, he just wanted their lips and whatever else they were willing to give him.

Shortly after, shoes, socks, and pants made their way to the floor, leaving Calum almost bare, and Archie their shirt and boxers. “Fucking Christ, do something, would you?” Calum whined, feeling Archie’s cold hand press against his skin again, this time on his stomach, creeping towards the waistband of his boxers.

“Be polite and use your words, would you?” Archie teased, fingers going under Calums waistband, snapping it against his skin before tugging it away from his skin, making him yelp. “And be quiet, nobody needs to hear us.” Calum was exposed at this point, Archie straddling him to keep him in place on the bed, one hand resting firmly on his pelvis, the other resting on the mattress. “Quiet, Calum.”

Calum nodded, nothing but a squeak escaping his lips. “Y-yes, please- fuck, please stop teasing me and do something.” The noise got louder as their hand wrapped around the base of his cock, free hand going for his mouth to quiet him down. His instinct was to bite, but not hard. It was just enough to keep himself quiet. A smile crept across Archie’s lips, breathing heavily from making out just moments prior.

“There you go, Cal, just like that. Nice and quiet.” Archie laughed a little, twisting their hand around Calum’s cock, making him yelp and whimper into their hand again. Once Calum had control of his volume, Archie pulled their hand from his lips, only shushing him if he got loud again, which proved to be easy with them on top.

“I want more… please.” Calum whined, feeling Archie’s hand move along his cock. “I want to fuck you, please, Archie.” And everything stopped for a second. Calum was terrified he said the wrong thing, scared that Archie was three seconds away from kicking him out of their hotel room, but they weren’t. “Please, that’s all I want.”

It took Archie a minute to process what Calum said, swallowing the lump of anxiety in their throat. It had been a while for Archie, so it felt new again. “All you want, yeah? How about we make a deal. You get to fuck me, but I get control. Or is that too uncomfortable for you?” Calum shook his head quickly, he would take anything at that point. He wanted to touch Archie in ways he’s never touched anybody else. He felt an instant and true connection that never appeared with anyone else.

But a sudden silence fell over Calum. Sure, he’d had plenty of flings and one night stands with trans people before, but he didn’t want to fuck this one up. It almost felt invasive to ask Archie how to fuck them. Would they have a preference? What if they didn’t want the same thing as him?

“Earth to Calum? I’m not making you uncomfortable, am I? We’ll only do this if you want this.” Archie asked, hand waving in front of his face a little. “You’re not lost in thought, are you?” Calum shook his head a little, he was, but he didn’t want to admit it. “Is it about how you’ll fuck me? I promise that’s a normal thought. We’ve never done this before, I promise it’s okay.”

Archie smiled softly, hand resting on Calums stomach, rubbing their thumb gently over his skin. “I don’t really have a preference, but I know one will be easier than the other.” He nodded, hands moving from the mattress to their hips, body tense as a wave of awkwardness hit him. He felt like it was such a dumb question, even though he needed to ask it. “I promise nothing you’re asking is dumb, Calum. You’re making sure I’m comfortable, and I appreciate that. This could be a one time thing, or it could be something more, and you don’t want to hurt me.”

They pushed their weight against Calum again, pushing him further up the bed, head closer to the headboard, hands going to his wrists to pin him down. “O-Okay.” His voice was shaky, but he was sure this is what he wanted. “I want this, I really do.” Calum’s brain was almost on autopilot at this point, hands going to their hips, resting on the elastic of their boxers. “Can I?”

“Of course, I’ve been waiting for you to do that from the second you walked into the room.”  Both of them chuckled, Archie lifting away from Calum to kick off their underwear, the laughter turning a bit uneasy as their boxers caught around their ankle. “Fuck, that wasn’t hot.” “I don’t care. You’re naked how I want and need, that’s hot enough.” Calums hand went for Archie’s crotch, stopping himself to ask, “Can I… Can I touch you?” The room went silent again, Calum terrified he’d crossed yet another boundary. “I just wan-” Archie grabbed his hand, guiding it further down their body and to their crotch.

“Stop asking questions and thinking you’re overstepping. I’d tell you otherwise. Now, please touch me. I want this just as bad as you, Calum.” He whined, feeling the wet warmth against his fingers as Archie let go of his hand. He lapped his fingers around, dragging them up and down before curling in softly. Archie let out a soft moan, immediately collapsing onto his chest, almost knocking the wind out of Calum. Their head rested on his shoulder, mouthing at the skin, “Fuck, please. More of that. Just like that, please, Cal.”

As Calum continued, he pushed Archie's head up to kiss them, letting them moan against his lips, a knot of warmth forming in his stomach. He couldn’t pull away just yet, but he was sensitive and he needed Archie’s touch once again. “Fuck,” he groaned against their lips, forehead pressing against theirs, two fingers curled inside of them, “I want you.” He whined, sliding his fingers out, a small look of concern taking over his face, unsure what to do with his damp fingers.

Archie grabbed at his wrist, bringing his hand up between them, lips to his fingers to suck them clean. “There, that’s all it took.” they smiled, licking the stringy substance from their lips, “I have no condoms, just so you know.” “O-oh. Nor do I. Do… Do we stop here?” Calum’s voice was weak, but Archie shook their head at his words, hand moving to hold his jaw, forcing him to look back in their direction.

“Unless you want to, absolutely not. You didn’t just make out with me and finger me for nothing. We only stop if you want to stop.” Calum whined at the grip to his jaw, shaking his head that he wanted to continue. “That’s what I thought, baby. If it eases your mind, I’ve been on birth control for years and with a decent amount of people who could… yanno, but it’s never happened, so I don’t think we have to worry.”

“Y-Yeah. Fuck, I want you, Archie.” Calum whined, letting them resituate themself on top of his body, knees resting on each side of his torso. “You’re sure, right?”

“I wouldn’t be half naked, literally inches from letting your cock in me, if I didn’t want this, Calum.” Archie laughed a little, one hand grabbing at Calum’s cock under them, guiding it and letting themself slowly sink down. “God- Fuck, Cal.” They gasped, knees giving out a little as they let him go deeper.

It wasn’t just Archie who whined, Calum did too. The touch to his cock and the feeling of Archie sinking down felt so good. His hands reached for their waist, grabbing tight, a loud and long hiss leaving his lips. “You feel— fuck!” 

Archie let out a deep moan, hands resting on Calum’s chest, digging their fingers in ever so slightly. “That’s it, baby. Rock your hips just like that. Let me do the hard work.” As Calum moved with them, he whimpered at the sensation on his chest. “Just like that, baby. Feels good, doesn’t it?” They rocked slowly at first, hips digging into his, only picking up the pace once they settled and Calum was ready.

He yelped as Archie bounced, feeling their knees against his waist, panting heavily. He’d had his fair share of sexual partners, so being on the bottom was nothing new, but this level of control was. “Go on baby, tell me how this feels. Does it feel good, sweetheart?”

Calum nodded, panting, head thrown back into the pillows as he spoke, “Feels good. You feel good, Arch. Fuck- feels so good.” He was a disaster at that point. His skin was warm, cheeks flushed, forehead sticky with sweat. His lips were parted, leaning up towards Archie, “K-Kiss me, please.” He begged, feeling their sweaty forehead press to his.

Their lips connected momentarily, noses brushing against each other as the kiss got passionate. “You wanna cum, baby? Wanna feel so much better?” He nodded again, feeling the heat building up in his body once again, heart racing. “Let me take care of you then, don’t move.”

Archie worked quickly, nails digging into his chest again, picking up the pace. Their lips touched as they both moaned, Calum struggling hard. “Fuckfuckfuck” He whined, pressing his head into their chest, fingers pressed against their shirt, nails digging into their hips, “G-Gonna cum, fuck, fu-”

Calum choked on his words as his vision blurred, his minimal thrusts turning sloppy, hips meeting Archies at a painfully slow pace. Their orgasm wasn’t far behind, all it took was a few more thrusts and they were moaning into his neck, blush crawling up their neck and into their cheeks.

The silence quickly turned into soft giggles, Archie’s full weight on Calum, foreheads pressed together, refusing to move from the position they were in. Cum dripped out of Archie and onto the base of Calum’s cock. “Holy shit,” Archie gasped, hands moving back to his chest once again. “God, you felt so good.”

His giggle faded, turning into a soft chuckle instead, head resting in the crook of Archie’s neck, whining at any slight movement, as if it would send him into another orgasm.  “S-so did you. Fuck… Can we do that again sometime?”

“So long as we don’t get caught sneaking around.” Archie let out a soft moan, pulling off Calum’s cock, whining at the emptiness and cold feeling on the inside of their legs. They grabbed the pile of clothes and shoes on the floor, separating them out, handing Calum his clothes. ��It’s the last thing we want.”

His head was in the clouds, but he understood what Archie meant, “Y-yeah. You’re right. Text me after your shower? I still want those photos. Can I have a towel or something. I don’t wanna get my clothes messy.” “Oh, yeah. Sorry, I forgot about that.” They walked off for a minute, grabbing a small hand towel from the sink and handing it to Calum to wipe himself down. He threw the towel to the side, slipping on his boxers, followed by his pants, zipping them up and putting on his shirt afterwards.

“Th- Is this what’ll happen every time you want to show me photos?” “Maybe, maybe not. Just go take your own shower and I’ll text you, okay? I enjoyed this. It felt nice. I want more of it.” Archie motioned their hands to the bed, then Calum, then themself.

Calum nodded, brushing his hands down his shirt to straighten it out, turning to the full length mirror to fix his hair. “I do too, Archie. I should… I should go before someone catches me.”

“If anything, we were looking at photos. There was a lot… so it makes sense it took a while.” They smiled, walking towards the bathroom as he walked towards the door to the hall. “Photos, with a side of sex and making out.” He nodded again, listening for anyone walking past so he wouldn’t get caught.

The door clicked shut behind him and he scurried down the hall to his room, head turning like an owl in every direction to make sure nobody saw. Every shadow and rustle of sheets behind doors scared him, thinking it was someone who heard the whole thing.

“You look like a deer in fuckin’ headlights, mate.” Michael laughed, tapping Calum on the shoulder as he unlocked his door.

“You bastard!” Calum yelped, dropping his phone and wallet. “I thought you’d be asleep already.”

“It’s only 2am… You’re lucky if I’m asleep by three. So… How did looking at those photos go?”

Calum's brain stopped. He couldn’t lie to his best friend, but he had to, he was not getting caught sneaking around.

[lovesosweeet]

better left unsaid // cth

chapter twenty two

in which orion has leukemia, and calum doesn’t know.

calum hood x fem!oc

read other chapters

TW: mentions of disordered eating, weight loss, body image descriptions

october 1, 2018 san diego, california calum

I could barely sleep last night with the excitement of reuniting with Orion at the front of my mind. I get to hold her, touch her, kiss her, be with her… today. It’s finally here. The day that we’ve been pining for is finally here.

I wake up early so I can be ready when she gets here. We slept on the bus last night after we drove out here from Denver. It’s quiet when I wake up, unsurprisingly. I grab my duffel bag of clothes and toiletries and head into the venue to take a shower. There’s no show today, but we’re camped out here for now. I’m supposed to stay at Orion’s family’s house tonight, but the rest of the band and crew are at a hotel.

As I get to the door into the venue, Gus is already here. I swear, the man is always working. His shifts are 12 hours at a time. He’s tired as he greets me, but still cheery.

“Orion comes today, right?” He asks me with a knowing smile. He knows the answer. The question is practically rhetorical.

I smile back at him without a second thought. Of course I’m smiling — I get to see my girl today. “Yep, she’s gonna be here around 10!”

Gus nods and opens the door for me. “Only three and a half hours to go, then.”

We leave the conversation there and I enter the building, looking around for signage to direct me to the dressing room. I find it and head that way. It’s nice to be in the venue this early. No one else is awake, aside from a handful of stray security guys and a janitor that’s mopping the floor.

I take what Orion would call an everything shower. It consists of scrubbing my entire body with a container of sugar scrub I stole from her abundant stash, slathering my body in some body wash from LUSH that she got me hooked on, shaving everything, shampoo, conditioner, exfoliating my face… everything. I want to look, feel, and smell my best for her, even though I know she wouldn’t care if I smelled like cat piss and looked like a complete mess.

When I get out of the shower, I text her, since it’s roughly when she will wake up anyway.

To: my love + stars gooooood morning!!!!! ☀️ today is the DAY!!!! drive safe and let me know when you hit the road. can’t wait to see you my love.

Back on the bus, I try to get my bunk in order. I make the bed as well as I can and organize my stuff so it doesn’t look quite as chaotic.

“Cal? What time is it?” Ashton’s voice sounds from the bunk above mine.

“It’s a little after seven,” I answer, trying to whisper.

“Why are you up this early?” He whispers back.

“We’re in San Diego, dude.”

Ashton opens the curtain to his bunk then so he can look at me. “Shit, didn’t even realize. You excited?” He smiles, already knowing my answer. Another practically rhetorical question.

“Can’t fucking wait.”

—

I spend my morning with Ashton inside the venue, just aimlessly scrolling on my phone while he reads a book. We’ve both downed a cup or two of coffee and eaten a few of the snacks we have backstage. It’s just bananas and granola bars currently, which is fine by me. I’m not really hungry. The excitement is all consuming.

My phone is already unlocked, watching Orion’s blinking blue dot on the Find My Friends app get closer and closer to mine. She stopped at her family’s house on her way here to drop off Duke so we can spend the day together. As her dot gets onto the premises of the venue, she starts calling. I answer instantly.

“Hi,” I answer. Ashton looks over at me then and he starts to smile. I’m sure he’s missed her too.

“Hi, I’m pulling in now. Matt told them I’m coming, right?”

“Of course. You’re his favorite, remember?”

She giggles. “Okay, sure. I’ll see you in a minute.”

“Can’t wait.” And then I hang up.

I get off the couch, brushing crumbs from my granola bar off my lap. I turn to Ash.

“Gonna go meet her. We’ll be back in a minute.”

He nods, looking back down to his book.

I walk around the maze of the backstage area, following signs to the exit. More crew are walking around now, all nodding to me politely as we pass each other. I open the back door to the buses and am greeted by the bright sunshine and Gus’ replacement.

I look around, trying to spot Orion’s silver sedan. I spot it parked behind the buses, but don’t see her.

Then, there she is, walking toward me with a glowing smile on her face, wearing a baggy green hoodie, presumably some shorts that I can't see, and a beat-up pair of New Balances. I take a few jogging steps toward her, but she's running, so we meet after just a few seconds.

I wrap her into my arms as quickly as I can from the moment I see her, but the second she’s there, pressed into my chest, I can’t help but notice she’s… different. Orion has always been tiny. She’s 5 feet tall and has always been pretty thin, but she had some slight curves still. Now, she’s bony and frail. Normally, I don’t like to comment on her appearance unless it’s telling her how absolutely gorgeous she is, except this time. I can’t help it. All I can think is that she’s smaller. I want to comment about it, and I try to hold it in, but I don’t trust myself to be able to do so.

“Hi,” I breathe, my face buried in her hair. I didn’t even remember to take in how short it is now. Her frail frame is the only thing on my mind.

“Hi,” she says back. She’s squeezing me back as hard as she can. Her arms are bonier than normal, somewhat masked by the oversized hoodie, but they’re there.

My hands slide up the sides of the hoodie she's wearing — technically mine — to grip her waist and I can instantly tell just how differently her body is shaped now. She feels fragile, far smaller than she was before. It's so obvious. Has the time apart really been this hard on her? I know it's been bad, but not unhealthily losing 20 pounds bad. Have I just not paid enough attention on our Facetimes? Am I that oblivious?

What happened?

Before I know it, the question falls out. “Did you lose weight?” I can't help it. The words tumble from my mouth and my hands scan her rib cage, feeling how much the bones protrude from her skin. She feels like just skin and bones, but she was trying to hide it under my baggy sweatshirt. Orion steps back so she can look at me.

Now, I notice her face and that her cheekbones jutting out sharper than before. Her cheeks are hollow, her eyes sunken in. She looks sick. 

Has she been struggling so badly this whole time? Why wouldn't she tell me? Did I not look at her at all while I’ve been gone? I’ve seen her face, but I don’t know how I could have missed that it looks like this. My heart aches at the thought of her being too sad to eat, too depressed to move. Things have to have been hard on her if this is how she is now. It’s all my fault.

"Just a little," she mutters. Now she can't even look me in the eye. She's suddenly trying not to cry.

My hands can encircle her waist, completely. She's so much smaller than she was before and there's no way it's healthy for her to be so thin. "Orion, it doesn't feel like 'just a little.'"

Her eyes finally meet mine, holding so much more emotion than I can swim through. What're normally almost orange irises are dark and muddy. "It's fine, okay?"

Her voice is so meek and sad that it pains me to hear. I don't want to press it. We don't need to have a full conversation about her possible disordered eating or stress-starving herself outside of a venue in San Diego. But I can't just drop the fact that she feels like she's down to just her skeleton and organs.

Orion's eyes search mine like she's trying to find the right thing for her to say in the depths of my eyes. I didn't mean to make her cry. I just can't believe that she is so much less of herself than she was two months ago, and I feel like it's my fault for leaving. How can this have happened? Does she need help? I try to put a pin in all the questions I have, but they cloud my thoughts and it's hard to think about anything else. I want to be excited that we’re finally together again, but excited is nowhere near the top of the list of the emotions I’m feeling right now.

"Orion's here!"

"Oh my god, O!"

"Ah! Orion! Cal, why didn't you tell us she was here?!"

"We've missed you so much!"

Suddenly there's a mini stampede of my bandmates, their partners, and some of our crew, all encircling us. It's a mess of limbs and excitement, and I'm pushed back from my girlfriend unwillingly. Everyone else now gets to feel just how frail she is.

Orion is grinning now, a fake smile plastered on her face while giving everyone hugs back and saying how happy she is to see them. Before I know it, Luke is picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder, carrying her inside. Everyone else follows. Orion giggles and tries to answer questions that everyone throws at her. They all are gone shortly, and I don't even realize that Ashton is still standing with me outside until he speaks.

"Alright, mate?" He asks, patting my back between my shoulders. When I lock eyes with him, he's sympathetic, as if he can tell something is wrong.

I don't know what's going on with Orion yet, so I don't want to start talking about it with Ashton. If it's an eating disorder, that's not something I can just share with him without her consent. As much as I want to describe what I just saw in my girlfriend and felt on her body, I can't tell him.

I clear my throat and plaster on a smile. "Yeah, just still in shock that she's here, I guess."

Ashton nods. “C’mon, let’s go save her.”

read next chapter

a/n: !!!!!!!!!!!! hi hope you liked this one!!!! drama is coming :) two cal pov's in a row who am i!!

[coveredineyes21]

USS Ardent!

Hello! After I finished TNG I wanted to make my own crew as my Star Trek obsession demanded it. I imagine it set towards the end of TNG and has the varied uniforms seen in Generations.

If you are interested I’ll leave their backstories here:

(PLEASE note: I made up planet and ship names, if they correlate to actual planets or ships then…oops)

Capt. Sylvia Ven | Trill | She/Her

Joined Starfleet from a young age, very bright in school though occasionally lacked common sense. Eventually became 1st officer of the USS Reading where she met Samira and became good friends. When offered the position of Captain of the Ardent, she immediately accepted. A very genuine person, cares about the opinions of her crew. Often forgets she can be intimidating.

First Officer Com. Dia | Changeling | She/They

She has no idea where she came from but knows she was raised on Ceres after it was terraformed and populated. So used to being around humans she can almost replicate their faces. Joined Starfleet because she found no occupation that excited her on Ceres. Was a cartographer on multiple starships before joining command. Was hesitant to become 1st Officer but decided it was the best choice. Very loyal, honest to a fault. Works with Ana to understand the complexities of social interaction.

Opps, Lt. Com. T’Vai | Vulcan | She/Her

Found orphaned after an attack on a distant outpost then raised on earth by a retired Samuel Rory. Rory owned a large farm in Saskatchewan and T’Vai went to a small school nearby. Because of this, she is very distant from her own culture and became fascinated with space. Rory realized he could not offer T’Vai the life she wanted, so he urged her to join Starfleet. She was an astronomer specialized in stars on the USS Pluto before being offered operations officer on the Ardent. Passionate and extremely curious. Absolutely adores space and everything about it.

Helm, Lt. Jack Ellis | Human | He/Him

Born and raised in New York City. Felt compelled to join Starfleet after his sister’s death as it was her dream. Youngest of the Ardent senior crew. Affectionate and Optimistic, an extrovert who is occasionally socially awkward. Disaster bi, has a major crush on Cal (everyone knows it).

Security Chief Lt. Cal Logran | Betazoid | He/Him

Wanted to leave Betazed the moment he found out he could. Hates forced mind reading and can only read minds if he focuses, though he can read emotions without trying. Joined Starfleet and found he had a knack for tactical and security jobs. Jumped from starship to starship in terms of jobs before accepting the offer of Security Chief for the Ardent. Very reserved and focused mostly on work. Struggles to open up and not take things so seriously. Despite being a telepath, he is very oblivious to the fact Jack has a crush on him.

Chief Engineer Lt. Com. Samira Sill | Denubulan | She/Her

Loved getting her hands dirty from a very young age. She would take machines in her home apart to learn how they work then put them together again, much to her parent’s annoyance. Worked her first job out of Starfleet as an engineer on the USS Reading where she met Sylvia and her soon to be partner Ana. Was Sylvia’s first choice for Chief Engineer for the Ardent. Free spirited and fearless. Uses her ability to climb walls to her advantage. An extrovert, very charismatic and loves talking to people. Personally requested Ana as CMO.

Chief Medical Officer Com. Ana | Android | She/Her

Discovered wandering the barren tundra of Ancora VIII and raised by the inhabitants of a medical outpost on the planet. When found, her inner circuits were frozen due to water that entered via her cooling system (which appears as breathing), thus her entire system was wiped for extensive repair. The people of the outpost theorized she was not designed to pass as alive but was made to look humanoid nonetheless. It was discovered after her repair that her system could evolve and become more complex, thus explaining how she eventually evolved to feel and understand emotions, though not emotions as we would understand them. Her origins are unknown and her internal structure is vastly different than that of known androids. Incredibly caring and intelligent. Was taught her medical knowledge by the people of the outpost and eventually became a nurse for the USS Reading, where she met her soon to be partner Samira. Experiences extreme empathy. Literally the sweetest, most gentle person ever.

[mama-qwerty]

Dress to Impress

So my husband and I worked a wedding show all weekend, and this little bit had been in my head already, so I thought I'd do some warmup writing and get it out.

Cal and crew are off to find a wedding dress, after she and Wade decide to tie the knot.

Yes this is yet another of my out of order bits from the timeline in my head.

~~~~~

“Welcome to Aphrodite Gowns! How can I help you?”

The size 4 vision of beauty cast her eyes up and down Callie, and the librarian had a flashback to high school when that look usually meant she was being sized up as competition, and dismissed quickly thereafter. She shook her head, trying to get herself out of that mindset.

“Yes, I’d like to see your formal yoga pants selection, please.”

The saleswoman’s brow furrowed, and she flicked her eyes to the people with the redhead. Maddie gave a slap to Callie’s shoulder, while Silver and Knuckles glanced around at the dresses on display.

“Cut that out,” Maddie almost hissed, as she turned to the saleswoman, a smile on her lips. “She’s getting married and we’d like to find a gown, please.”

The furrow smoothed in the saleswoman’s brow, and she smiled with a nod. “Ah, I see. Come back with me and we’ll get you fitted in something I’m sure you’ll love!”

Maddie smiled and nodded back, casting an almost warning look to Callie. Be nice.

The redhead rolled her eyes slightly and sighed. “Fine.”

~X~X~X~

Twenty minutes later, Callie was properly fitted and had tried on a few dresses that hadn’t really spoken to her. Some were too ornate, some too heavy. She wasn’t an overly ‘dressy’ gal in the first place, and so many wedding gowns seemed so . . . pretentious.

“They’re supposed to be pretentious, at least a little,” Maddie said, browsing through a nearby rack. “It’s your wedding! You’re supposed to feel and look beautiful. Don’t you want to be a princess for a day?”

“Not particularly,” Callie said, shrugging. “I mean, these dresses are pretty and all, but they’re just not me.”

“We’ll find something that is you,” the saleswoman, Autumn, said as she carefully rehung the latest dress Callie had turned down. “I don’t give up easily. It’s my mission to find you a dress that will take your breath away, and make you feel beautiful.”

“Good luck with that,” Callie muttered with a sigh.

Silver had been having a ball looking through the dresses, and his eyes lit up when he found one he liked.

“MOM! You have to try this one on! It’s so pretty! You’ll love it!”

Autumn looked to Callie, who simply nodded. “Sure, Bug. Show Miss Autumn which one.”

The hedgehog hurried over to grab Autumn’s hand, and pull her to show her his choice.

~X~X~X~

Callie didn’t, in fact, love it.

“Wow.”

“Lemme see!” Silver called, and she could tell he was bouncing on the balls of his feet like he does when he’s excited. “C’mon Mom! I wanna see!”

Callie took a deep breath and let it out in a huff as she shuffled toward the fitting room door. It took some maneuvering—there was A LOT of tulle and frills and sequins. She had to turn sideways to move through the door.

When she appeared in the viewing area, surrounded by mirrors and her tiny entourage, Silver gave an excited gasp, while Maddie and Knuckles simply stared at her, foreheads pinched in mild shock.

“You look so pretty!” her son said, his voice high as he bounced and clapped. “Like Vanellope at the end of Wreck-It Ralph!”

Well, he wasn’t wrong. The sleeves were poofy, the bodice was framed in lace and frills, and the ball gown skirt was wide and pleated and made her feel like she was wearing a giant cupcake wrapper. Made of five layers of pink tulle. It felt light and heavy at the same time, and her legs were starting to itch from the tickle of the gauzy fabric.

“You look ridiculous.”

“Knuckles!” Maddie’s voice was sharp and full of warning. “The dress is . . . lovely.”

“It is not. It looks ridiculous.”

“I think it’s pretty!” Silver said, his face pinched in annoyance as he looked at the echidna. “Mom likes it, don’t you Mom?”

Callie pulled her lips tight.

“We can put that in the ‘maybe’ pile, okay?” Autumn thankfully suggested, looking between Callie and Silver. “You can’t buy a dress after only trying on a few, after all. Why don’t we try something else?”

“Yes!” Maddie called, as she pulled one from the rack. “I have one I think will look great on you.”

Autumn took the dress from Maddie, and followed Callie into the back to help her get changed.

~X~X~X~

Callie stared at the mirror in the changing room, her eyes wide.

“Holy crap.”

“C’mon girl, lemme see ya!” Maddie called.

Callie flicked her eyes up and down her reflection before swallowing hard. “Silver, cover your eyes.”

“Why? I wanna see, too!”

“Just do it, please.”

“Ugh, fine.”

With a deep breath for bravery, Callie stepped into the viewing area.

Maddie gasped, a wide smile on her face. She brought her hands up to give a quick clap as she looked up and down Callie’s dress. “Oh Cal, you look so good!”

The white of the dress contrasted with the blush traveling up Callie’s cheeks. It was strapless, and had a deep v-neck cut down her cleavage. The mermaid cut hugged her body, revealing the curve of her hips, and the slight bulge of her belly. Those extra scoops of ice cream after supper were put on display for all to see in this thing.

“You can’t be serious.”

Maddie looked at her in surprise. “Cal, you look fantastic in that! It shows what you’ve got, and girl, you’ve GOT it!”

“Can I see?” Silver asked, his hands still over his eyes.

“No,” Callie answered immediately. “Mads, I cannot walk down the aisle in this. Wade would pass out.”

The vet laughed. “If the guy forgets his own name when he sees you, that’s a good sign.”

Callie cocked an eyebrow. “Maddie.”

“What? You look good. Knux, back me up on this.”

The two women turned to Knuckles, who was blushing almost as furiously as Callie, his eyes averted. “I . . . feel it is inappropriate to look upon you in that.”

Callie gestured toward the echidna, as though he had proven her point about the revealing nature of the gown. “There, see? He can’t even look at me.”

“Can I look at you?” Silver called. “NO.” Callie turned and headed back toward the fitting room. “Knux, you’re up. Pick me a good one, big guy.”

~X~X~X~

Callie sat in the dressing room, scrolling through her phone as Knuckles browsed. It took him a few minutes, until he finally pointed to one for Autumn to take into the back.

Once Callie slipped the dress on, she stared at herself in the mirror again.

She was speechless.

“Callie?” Knuckles voice came soft. “May we see?”

She blinked, and turned to walk into the viewing area. When she appeared and stood in the center of the surrounding mirrors, four pairs of eyes were on her. She blushed again, but that didn’t stop the smile from curling her lips.

“Oh Callie,” Maddie said, her eyes wide and a smile stretching her lips. “That’s perfect.”

“You look so pretty, Mom,” Silver said, his voice soft.

Knuckles gave a short nod, a little smile on his lips as well. “It suits you well.”

Callie had to agree. It was a sheath style gown, with a delicate white lace outer layer, over a soft cotton cream under layer. The bodice was form fitting, but not R-rated, and the ¾ sleeves carried the same lacy detail without the under layer. The back gave the impression of a train, without the unwieldy length.

It was comfortable, flattering, with the right mix of classic and modern details.

Callie turned as she looked at herself in the mirrors surrounding her. She shook her head, her smile never faltering.

“Knuckles, this is perfect. How did you . . . ?”

The echidna shrugged. “Madam Autumn said to find something that is you.” He gestured to the gown. “This is you.”

“Kid, I may have to give you a job,” Autumn said with a little laugh. “That was a perfect choice.”

Knuckles puffed his chest out, a smug little grin on his lips.

Maddie watched as Callie kept looking at herself in the mirrors, the look on the redhead’s face one of happiness and almost disbelief.

“Well, Cal? How do you feel?”

Callie flicked her eyes up and down her reflection once more, before turning to her little group.

“Like a princess.”

[breakfastteatime]

Here we go! Breakfast Tea's (vaguely) coherent Survivor Thoughts!

Spoliers under the cut. You have been warned.

Cal - HOW MUCH TRAUMA CAN YOU PUT ONE PERSON THROUGH?!?!?! My heart aches for him. When the game tells you to use his dark side powers in the third act, I absolutely refused, hoping the game would auto-continue because I refused to engage. NOPE! NO CHOICE. And okay, yeah, it was A LOT of fun but ow ow ow ow ow. He needs SO MUCH TIME to heal. The end of the game hit so hard because it feels so heavy and uncertain. We don't leave off with Cal feeling hopeful for the future. He admits he's scared, oh, and by the way, STILL TAPPED INTO THE DARK SIDE. Throughout the whole story, he just goes and goes and takes blow after blow, and then it ends with him hearing Cere. Watch me write fanfic set after the game in which I send Cal off on his own because REASONS. Ahem, anyway!

CANON JEDI CANNOT COOK AND ALSO DRINK TEA, THANK YOU.

BD-1 - BD remains the best droid. The BEST. He is always there for Cal, and he's so happy to see Cordova. And when he hugs Cal after Cere dies? *sobbing* Also, it did NOT escape my notice that the option to EMBRACE THE DARK SIDE comes up after Bode punts BD across the chamber. I LOVE THIS LITTLE DROID SO MUCH.

Echoes - I love how the echoes work in this game. The entire quest starts out partially because Cal finds an echo. Some echoes are visualised, and you can re-experience them, which is nice to see in canon. Cal also walks through Dagan's memory which intrigued me. Basically, they remain completely integral to both Cal and the wider narrative.

Also, as a game, it is just a lot of fun to play. There are puzzles that make you feel clever for solving them. Combat was fun and exciting, I loved all the lightsaber forms, and I have learned that I am over-reliant on Slow in JFO. Honestly, it's all still buzzing in my head. I need to replay it at a much slower pace now that I can relax about spoilers.

The Mantis Crew - While I knew they would've all gone their separate ways, it was still a lot to take in. It makes sense to me (Greez isn't cut out for this, Merrin wants to see the galaxy, and Cere's longing to reclaim the Jedi's legacy), and I'm glad everyone got together eventually, but I missed their vibe... At least we got flashbacks!

Cere - Absolutely devastated at her loss. She was Cal's mentor and therefore basically doomed by Star Wars law (she's the Obi-Wan), but it absolutely destroyed me. And it destroyed Cal, too. Cal, who was hanging by a thread for so much of this. Losing her, and the way he lost her, was too much for him. I wanted to see more of her SO MUCH, but I understand why we didn't. Ooof, I'm not getting over that anytime soon. I got my wish to play as her (and yes, she's WAY stronger than Cal), but... but...

Bode - I had a strong feeling he would betray Cal, but I had no idea WHY. It was a really nice touch and worked really well. His motivations make perfect sense, and they aren't some galaxy-bending quest to rule over others - he's just a father desperate to protect his daughter. I *love* how this series tells personal stories in the midst of such *literal* spectacle. Cal chasing after him, everything that's happening because Bode's a traitor... ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. And then the end, when Cal kills him to save himself and Merrin? GoodBYE. Oh, and now I'm walking around finishing up missions and there are NEW ECHOES EVERYWHERE that come from Bode.

Cordova - WHAT?!?!?! I screamed, I cried, first when he turned up, and then again when he died. Agony. I am in AGONY. I can barely think about the game right now without breaking down. Also loved the reference to Qui-Gon Jinn, although I also think that makes Cordova a lot younger than I've been headcanoning? Oh well!

Merrin - She remains so much fun. Her and Cal's relationship wasn't what I wanted, but it was handled well enough. The whole fight with the two of them against the giant drill was AMAZING. I absolutely loved the visualisation of her warping power. Oh, and when they take shelter from the sandstorm, and she holds his hand while he's having a nightmare? Perfect. While I would've preferred the two of them remaining friends, them being together doesn't bother me too much.

Greez - he is just so worried for Cal. HE MADE UP A ROOM FOR CAL IN HIS CANTINA AND MAKES HIM TAKE A NAP AND THEN WAKES HIM UP LIKE OLD TIMES YES I AM ALREADY COOKING UP A FANFIC FOR THIS I CAN'T HELP IT. I love how he's always checking in with Cal, making sure he's okay, telling him VERY firmly it is not his fault when Cere dies. Oh no, here I go again, can't stop crying...

Koboh - I love that town and building it up. I'm nowhere near finished yet, and in no rush to do so.

Finale - it took me a while to really sit and take that ending in. In recent years, we've become so used to second parts of trilogies not really having dark and uncertain endings that it really hit me how bleak it initially feels. We are leaving Cal still mourning, still struggling with his own darkness, still hurting... and that works. It works because he isn't finished growing and learning. He's a survivor, but he's a long, long way from thriving. The ending fits. It hurts. Everything hurts. But that story got the only ending that fit how dark it is.

Hey. Hey, Sequel Trilogy. THIS IS HOW YOU TELL A COHESIVE STORY ACROSS MULTIPLE PARTS.

HATE VADER'S REDEMPTION EVEN MORE THAN I ALREADY DID, THANK YOU.

[weevil-wallflower]

Inquisitive Experiments

Cal Kestis x Reader

Summary: Cal's gaze lingered on You, his heart pounding with a mixture of nerves and anticipation as he contemplated the possibilities swirling in his mind. "You know," he began when You didn’t address him first, his voice barely above a whisper, "I've been thinking… We could try something different in the bedroom. Spice things up a bit."

Warnings/Tags: NSFW 18+, f!reader but no pronouns used, no use of Y/N, unprotected sex, rough rex, dom!Cal, aftercare, during/post-Jedi: Survivor, no spoilers for Jedi: Survivor.

A.N.: I began story writing once more after a long time and while my writing has been greatly improved due to studies, English is still not my first language so I'm pretty nervous. Edited it like four times... Also my very first nsfw story so might not be super good. Aaaand this was written on a whim because inspiration struck after I played the game ^_^ Gif by me!

Word Count: ~4,201

Also on AO3!

The Mantis drifted through the depths of space, its metal hull humming softly in the void. It was a quiet night— or day? Time seemed to lose its grip as the ship travelled through deep space, the clock in the kitchen the only thing that provided a schedule.

For Cal, the silence of the ship often felt suffocating, a stagnant calm that seeped into every corner. With no external stimuli to break the monotony, the hours stretched on endlessly. Despite the ever-present hum of the engines and occasional beeps of the consoles, the silence weighed heavy on the redhead’s shoulders.

In moments like these, Cal couldn't help but feel a sense of restlessness growing inside him. Always a man of action, the absence of excitement or activity left him yearning for something more, anything to disrupt the monotonous rhythm of ship life. To him, the quietness of the Mantis wasn't just peaceful—it was downright boring. The extreme restlessness he felt only worsened upon seeing You relaxed on the sofa, looking content as You were absorbed in a holobook.

Meanwhile, in the quiet of the ship's charging station, BD-1 lay idle. Only Cal and You remained aboard, while the rest of the crew was scattered across different planets. The original plan to meet an informant on Zeffo was quickly abandoned when the seemingly shifty Twi'lek changed course, opting for Felucia instead. This unexpected detour promised to stretch their journey twofold, a deviation that typically wouldn't faze Cal, seasoned as he was in flying the Mantis solo for nearly half a decade. However, this only made him feel more tense, his mind working in overdrive to think of all the possible ways their informant may be scheming to lead them astray or worse.

You on the other hand, felt excitement surge within You as Cal's gaze bore into You from behind, even without relying on the Force to confirm it. Standing next to the ship's kitchen counter, his intense gaze, hidden beneath the cascade of his fiery hair that he'd allowed to grow past his ears, was undeniably fixed on your form. It sparked a flutter of anticipation, prompting a subtle shift in your posture as You switched to a new page, pretending to be absorbed in your holobook.

As the stillness persisted, Cal's restlessness reached its peak. Meditation crossed his mind momentarily but he decided he would rather spend time with You. You were right there, ripe for the taking. Hence, with measured steps, he walked closer to where You sat on the curved sofa, lost in the pages of your holobook. Towering over You, his presence loomed large, casting a shadow that seemed to swallow the dim light of the small lounge area.

Cal's gaze lingered on You, his heart pounding with a mixture of nerves and anticipation as he contemplated the possibilities swirling in his mind. "You know," he began when You didn’t address him first, his voice barely above a whisper, "I've been thinking... We could try something different in the bedroom. Spice things up a bit."

You glanced up from your holobook, your eyes widening in surprise at Cal's unexpected proposal. "Something new... in the bedroom?" You echoed, the words hanging in the air between you both, laden with both curiosity and budding excitement.

Cal nodded, a slight flush coloring his cheeks with excitement as he ventured further into uncharted territory. "You know, like roleplay or maybe even some light bondage," he suggested, feeling a shiver of anticipation run down his spine at the mere thought of it. So far, the two of you have only been engaging in activities that can be considered… vanilla, so to speak. Not that Cal disliked it— Anything with You involved got his blood pumping. But he was craving something new.

"Cal...!" You giggled, unable to contain your surprise at his bold suggestion. "This is so unlike you! What's the special occasion?" Your voice laced with amusement and intrigue, wondering what had sparked this sudden desire for experimentation by the usually reserved Jedi.

"Just felt like doing something different," Cal said, taking a seat next to You. "And besides, I've seen how you respond to certain things... I can tell it turns you on." His calloused hand reached out to caress your cheek gently, his green eyes full of desire.

"Oh, yeah?" You breathed out, leaning into his warm touch, savouring the sensation. "What kind of things do I respond to?" You asked, your voice tinged with curiosity, eager to hear his answer.

"Powerful gestures," Cal whispered, his other hand slowly sliding down to your waist, his touch sending a shiver down your spine. "The way you moan when I take control," he continued, his voice low and husky with desire. Leaning in closer, his lips brushed against your earlobe, sending a thrill coursing through You. "I want to hear more of those sounds," he murmured, his breath hot against your skin, igniting a fire within You.

Unable to believe how the typically kind and shy Jedi had suddenly become so assertive, You couldn't help but giggle nervously, your laughter betraying a mix of excitement. You rested your hands on his shoulders, feeling the firmness of his muscles beneath your touch as You pressed your soft breasts against his chest, the closeness between you both heightening the tension in the air.

Cal's heart raced at the sensation of your breasts pressing against him, a surge of gratitude flooding through him for having someone like You in his life. "I want to make love to you," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper, filled with a raw intensity that mirrored the passion igniting between them. 

The redhead then closed his eyes, taking a moment to savour the moment as he took a deep breath, allowing himself to become enveloped in the sensation of your body pressed against his. "Let me show you how much you mean to me," he murmured, his voice filled with tenderness and longing. With gentle strength, he lifted You up into his arms, cradling You close. He wanted to do so much more than that. But he was at a loss for words, unable to bear the thought of overwhelming You. Fortunately for him, the two of you often worked on one wavelength. Hence, he did not have to voice his desires again as You did it for him.

"I think I'm up for a little roleplay..." You whispered, your voice laced with anticipation, as he carried You towards the bedroom at the back of the Mantis.

Cal's eyes widened with surprise and excitement at your words. "Roleplay?" he echoed, his voice tinged with anticipation. With careful yet eager movements, he carried You into the bedroom and gently set You down on the bed, a mischievous grin spreading across his face as he prepared to indulge in whatever playful fantasy you both would come up with.

You couldn't help but laugh at his excitement, your eyes gazing up at him with adoration. "Do you... still have that Inquisitor uniform from our mission last time? When we infiltrated that Imperial base?" You asked, your voice tinged with a hint of shyness, the memory of that daring mission adding an extra layer of excitement to the scenario You had in mind.

"Yes, I do," The Jedi replied, his voice hitching slightly with anticipation. "You want me to wear it?" There was a moment of hesitation in his tone, uncertain of how You would react. But seeing the desire in your eyes, he knew he had to try.

"Mhm..." You eagerly nodded before quickly justifying yourself, your nerves causing You to ramble. "Not a big fan of Inquisitors, of course, since they're ruthless workers of the Empire and all that, but I do love to see you in dark armour or uniform...!" Your cheeks flushed slightly as You stumbled over your words, hoping he understood your preference despite the conflicting emotions tied to the attire.

His worries eased, Cal offered You a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, I understand," he said softly before leaving the room to retrieve the uniform. He felt a mix of excitement and nervousness himself as he sought out the outfit. Upon his return, he was clad in the dark suit, its distinctive black cape billowing behind him and sleek torso armour gleaming in the dim light of the room.

"S-so... we should get in character, right...?" You whispered, your wide eyes appreciatively trailing over the redhead's figure in the Inquisitor uniform. Despite the intimidating aura associated with Inquisitors, seeing Cal dressed as one only fueled your desire for him.

"How about I play the Jedi, and you play the Inquisitor hunting me down?"

Cal nodded, a wicked grin stretching across his features. "Yes, precisely," he affirmed. Stepping closer to You, his voice deepened, assuming the persona of the Inquisitor. "I've been tracking you for weeks, little Jedi."

You barely stopped yourself from letting out an excited squeal as the redhead fully embraced his role. Instead, You quickly stood up from the bed, your expression a mix of shock and fear. "How did you find me?!" You exclaimed, playing along with the scenario as your heart raced with anticipation.

"My training has prepared me well for situations like this, Jedi," the Inquisitor replied, his voice dripping with ominous authority. With purposeful strides, he advanced towards You, each step echoing in the small room. "Your hiding place was not so well-guarded after all," he added, his tone implying a sense of superiority and triumph.

You backed away as his menacing form advanced upon You, your eyes frantically scanning the room to calculate an escape route.

Cal stopped a few feet away from You, close enough to see the fear in your eyes but not close enough to make You feel trapped. "You're strong for a Jedi, little one," he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. "But you're also alone." He let his gaze drift down your body before meeting your eyes again. "You should've stayed hidden," he said with a sigh, reaching to his side for his lightsaber hilt.

Taking advantage of his brief distraction, You swiftly sidestepped him and dashed towards the workbench where your own lightsaber lay.

Cal swiftly spun around, his hand gripping his lightsaber tightly as he faced You. "You think you can outsmart an Inquisitor, Jedi?" he asked, his voice dripping with darkness and menace. Yet, he hadn't even bothered to ignite his lightsaber, so confident in his ability to detain You without the use of a weapon.

Gripping your lightsaber in terror, its blade not yet ignited either, You glared up at the Inquisitor. "Leave now, if you know what's good for you," You attempted to sound threatening, but your voice shook with fear too much to be convincing.

Cal chuckled darkly. "You really think that will stop me?" he asked, taking another step closer to You. "I have hunted Jedi like you for years. You're nothing special." With a menacing grin, he reached out with the Force, attempting to pull your lightsaber from your grip, causing You to grunt and hold your weapon tightly. Your arm outstretched as it was almost pulled away, forcing You to plant your feet firmly on the ground in resistance.

The Inquisitor could sense your strength through the Force as you both struggled against each other. Finally, with a surge of effort, he succeeded in dislodging the lightsaber from your grip, causing it to fly into his outstretched hand.

Gasping as You were rendered defenseless, You realised You had no other choice but to flee. Quickly, You rushed over to the door, desperation urging You forward.

Unfortunately for You, the Inquisitor proved quicker, pushing You roughly against the wall. He pressed his body flush against yours, pinning You there as he looked into your eyes. "I can offer you another choice, little Jedi," he whispered, his voice laced with a sinister undertone.

"W-What other choice...?" You stammered, your voice trembling with uncertainty and apprehension.

His lips brushed against yours, his lips cold but his heart pounding in his chest as he slowly, gently claimed your mouth in a kiss. You softly returned the kiss, standing on your tip toes to meet him halfway, almost breaking character before glaring up at him after he broke it off a few moments later, his eyes gleaming with desire. "You could give yourself up," he said silkily.

"And become a slave to the Empire? Like you? No, thanks..."

Cal smiled darkly. "Unfortunate," he murmured, gripping your chin roughly to make You meet his gaze. "You're not as clever as you believe, Jedi. You have nowhere to run." His hand tightened around your chin, forcing You to hold his gaze. "You'll eventually be locked in a cell, but I can give you one last chance," he growled, his tone laced with lethal intent.

"You could give in... to me." He continued, pressing closer as he leaned down to whisper in your ear. "Or I'll have no choice but to make you mine by force."

"I-I'll never give in..." Your voice shook as your thighs pressed together, attempting to relieve some of the ache You felt in your core. You wondered what Cal would do if You chose the harder route.

In response, Cal's eyes flashed with a mix of lust and anger. "Then you leave me no choice," he growled, forcefully pushing You against the wall, eliminating any space between your bodies. His mouth descended upon yours in a brutal kiss, his tongue invading your mouth as he took what he desired, causing You to gasp and softly moan into the kiss, your hands clutching his broad shoulders in response.

Cal's grip on You tightened, his tongue dancing with yours as he claimed your mouth completely. His other hand slipped down to grope at your ass, squeezing the firm flesh through the clothes. He broke the kiss only to growl against your neck, "You'll submit to me, Jedi. And you'll enjoy it." He grabbed your arms, holding them above your head with one hand before leaning in to nip at your exposed neck, his teeth leaving marks as he continued to grope at your butt with his other hand.

The hand that had been holding your arms captive slowly trailed down to your chest, roughly squeezing your breasts through your clothes, grinning menacingly against your neck. "You desire this," he growled, seizing a handful of your hair, causing You to wince as he pulled your head back, his lips grazing against your throat.

The redhead momentarily paused, whispering in your ear, his hot breath sending goosebumps rising on your skin. "Are you comfortable with this? Because I can go as far as you want," he murmured. He nipped at your earlobe, his other hand continuing to squeeze your breast through your clothes.

His question elicited a soft smile from You, your heart fluttering as Cal broke character to ask for your permission, demonstrating his deep care for You by being unwilling to hurt you, even unintentionally.

"I'm okay... I'm actually enjoying this so far," You shyly whispered, reassuring him. "Please, don't hold back. Be as mean to me as you want... I know I can always use the safe word if things feel too much."

Cal's smile returned as he slipped back into character. His eyes flashed with lust and power as he smiled cruelly, releasing your hair but maintaining his grip on your breasts. "You want me to be cruel? To take you against your will?" he questioned, his voice laced with dominance and desire.

"Please, Inquisitor... don't do this!" You whined, your tone almost playful as your soft folds moistened with arousal.

Cal chuckled darkly as he moved his hand to cup your sex through your pants, asserting his dominance. "Oh, but I will," he growled, his hand feeling how wet You were even through your clothes. His free hand reached up to undo his pants, pulling out his thick cock with a harsh grunt.

Your eyes widened at the sight of him. "I-I don't think it'll fit..." You whispered, aware that you both knew it was partially true. You just wanted to say it to boost the redhead’s confidence.

Cal smirked, taking it as a challenge. "Watch me," he growled, pushing your pants down and panties to the side. He positioned himself at your entrance, his thick cockhead pressing against You slowly. "Are you sure you don't want me to go easy on you?"

Your lips curled into a soft smile as your hands tenderly brushed against his cheeks, feeling the roughness of his stubble. You were so grateful for his concern and love for You.

"Yes, Cal... Don't hold back," You whispered, giving him permission to fully immerse himself in the moment.

Cal's heart skipped a beat at your words, feeling a surge of desire course through him. He pushed forward, slowly penetrating your tight folds. It was a struggle to get all of his girth inside You, but he managed it with a grunt. "Kriff..."

The intense pressure caused your back to arch off of the wall, pushing your breasts against the chest plating of his dark uniform, feeling his girth fill You to the brim.

The Inquisitor gritted his teeth, determined to fulfill your desires. He began to thrust slowly but powerfully, feeling his cock sinking deep inside You with every push. His free hand moved up under your shirt to cup one of your breasts roughly, pinching your nipple between his fingers.

"Oh... Oh, please, Inquisitor... It hurts..." You playfully whined, though your facial expressions conveyed anything but pain.

Cal chuckled darkly, the sound reverberating against your sensitive skin. "That's it, my little whore," he growled into your neck, his pace quickening as he took You roughly against the wall.

You squeaked and threw your head back, the unexpected derogatory word causing your inner walls to clench hard around him, eliciting a groan of pleasure from Cal. "You like that, don't you? Being called a whore?" he demanded, grabbing You by the hair and forcefully pulling your head back to make You meet his gaze.

Softly moaning, You gave him a little smirk, replying, "N-No, Inquisitor. Whatever gave you that idea?"

Cal laughed, his thrusts becoming even harder and faster. "Liar," he snarled, slamming into You with brutal force. His other hand slid down to your aching clit, teasing it roughly as he continued to pound into You.

The intense pleasure wiped the smirk off your face as You arched your back, closing your eyes in ecstasy. Your hands clutched Cal's shoulders tightly, one moving up to run your fingers through his fiery hair. You loved how he had allowed his hair to grow past their usual style.

Cal growled, feeling the pleasure coursing through him as he took You roughly against the wall. Sensing his climax approaching, he slammed his hips into yours with a feral intensity. "You enjoy being taken like this, don't you?"

"O-Only by you!" You gasped out, your legs wrapped tightly around his hips as he pounded into You, a grin spreading across his face as he felt his climax building rapidly. Leaning down, he captured your lips in a rough, passionate kiss as he continued to thrust into You, feeling your walls clenching around him tighter and tighter.

You moaned into the kiss, feeling Cal's tongue intertwining with yours as your walls tightened, signaling your impending climax. Cal's thrusts became more erratic as he neared his climax as well, the pleasure coursing through him reaching new heights. He felt your walls convulse around him as your release synchronised with his, and with a final roar of pleasure, he released himself inside You, filling You with his seed.

Cal panted heavily, his body shuddering as he leaned his head against yours, still buried inside You. He looked down at You, both your eyes locking in a moment of shared satisfaction. "That was... intense," he said with a chuckle, slowly pulling out of You.

"Mhm..." You hummed, feeling blissed out as You rested between Cal and the wall with your eyes closed, your legs feeling like jelly when the redhead gently placed You back on your feet. Letting out a satisfied sigh, Cal planted a gentle kiss on your forehead before he pulled You into a warm embrace, feeling a stirring of affection for You. "You're quite something, aren't you?"

"So are you..." You giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck. "Thank you for doing this with me..."

Cal smiled, his heart warming at your words. "No need to thank me," he said softly, nuzzling his face into your neck. "I enjoyed it just as much as you did."

"You enjoyed being bad to me...?" You teasingly whispered, unable to resist, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth, causing his cheeks to flush at your words. But he couldn't suppress the smirk that spread across his face. "Well... perhaps just a bit," he admitted, brushing his lips against yours playfully. "But only because it made you feel good."

Your smirk softened into a loving smile at his words, overwhelmed by the sweetness of the man and the fact that he was yours. However, You were pulled from your thoughts when Cal's eyes widened as he noticed the bruises on your hips and thighs from where he had gripped You too hard. "Oh no, my love..." he said worriedly, tracing his fingers over the marks gently. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have been so rough."

"Don't be!" You softly held his hands in yours, stopping him from fretting over You. "I wanted this, remember. And besides, it's a good kind of hurt."

Cal sighed, still grappling with a mix of emotions, both guilt and satisfaction, as he remembered the passionate encounter. He then scooped You up into his arms and carried You towards the refresher, setting You down gently on the edge of the tub, his mind set on making you feel better. "Perhaps we can take it easy and ensure you're feeling alright?"

"Oh yeah, what do you have in mind?"

With his eye green eyes full of love, Cal replied, "How about a nice bath together?" He began running the water, adjusting the temperature until it was warm and inviting. "We can sit back, relax, and just... enjoy each other's company."

"That sounds amazing..." You sighed in delight before smirking up at the redhead. "You might want to lose all that armor..." You gestured to the inquisitor uniform he still wore, prompting a soft chuckle and nod from him. "Good idea." He proceeded to unfasten the various straps and buckles of his armor, unveiling his toned physique underneath.

You observed his body with without shame, admiring the abundant freckles that dotted his skin like stars, the scars and muscles revealing his experience as a seasoned Jedi, etching the image into your mind. "As much as I enjoy seeing you in uniform, the downside is not being able to admire you in all your naked glory..."

Cal grinned at your comment. "Well, now's your chance." He stepped out of the armor entirely, standing fully naked before You. His anticipation palpable, his cock twitched slightly as he eased into the tub. But despite his returning excitement, he reminded himself that your comfort was of greater importance at that moment. Hence, with gentle hands, he guided You in, mindful of your still-unsteady legs after your intense session earlier. Your skin brushed softly against each other as you both tried to find a comfortable position.

Once You were settled in, You sighed contentedly and closed your eyes, feeling your body immediately relax as You nestled between his legs, leaning back against his strong chest. The warmth of the bath melted away both your sweat and any lingering tension from the encounter. In that moment, You couldn't help but reflect on how safe Cal always made You feel, more than anyone else has ever been able to.

Meanwhile, the Jedi leaned his head against yours, breathing deeply as he relaxed into the moment. Holding You close, he gently stroked your hair while you both shared the bath. The silence enveloped you, comfortable and serene, allowing the two of you to simply enjoy each other's company without words. Cal placed a tender kiss on the top of your head, feeling content in that fleeting moment of peace.

After some time, he began to softly massage your shoulders and back, his strong hands working out the knots of tension that had built up there. He continued down your spine, slowly working his way towards your hips and thighs.

As the redhead's soothing touches eased your tension, You couldn't help but emit soft, appreciative sounds, allowing your body to sink deeper into his embrace, raising one hand to gently caress his stubbled cheek. "You're so sweet to me..."

Cal's gaze softened as he leaned closer, his eyes fixed on yours. "You deserve all the sweetness in the galaxy, my love." He couldn't resist pressing his lips to yours, your lips meeting in a gentle but passionate embrace. In that moment, he poured all his love into that kiss, relishing the taste of You.

[xtruss]

Artemis II's Victor Glover Talks About Inspiring Black Future Astronauts

The Mission will be the First Flight to the Moon with Humans Since the 1970s.

— By ABC News | February 23, 2024

ABC News' Linsey Davis spoke with NASA Astronaut Victor Glover about the historic Artemis II mission and how his example will help inspire others who look like him to follow in his footsteps.

NASA astronaut Victor Glover is in full preparation for one of the most anticipated space missions in decades.

And he's hoping the Artemis II mission, which is slated for next year, will inspire people on the planet to come together and follow their dreams of reaching the stars.

Glover will be piloting the four-person manned mission that will be the first flight to the moon with humans on board in more than 50 years. He’ll be joined by Commander Reid Wiseman, mission specialist Christina Koch from NASA, and mission specialist Jeremy Hansen from the Canadian Space Agency.

Glover also will be the first person of color to go beyond low earth orbit.

"People are excited that we're doing this again. And so for a woman to be on the crew and for a Black astronaut to be on the crew, because that's what our office looks like, to me it is important,” Glover told ABC News' Linsey Davis.

NASA Astronaut Victor Glover will be making his second flight to space as the pilot f the Artemis II mission. NASA

“I think people need to be able to see themselves in the things that they dream about and not just have to try to color it in in their mind’s eye," he added.

Glover spoke more about his role, ongoing preparation and career with Davis.

ABC NEWS LIVE: What are you doing right now to prepare?

GLOVER: The three basic things that we're doing are training.

We'll do simulators to do things normally and then contingency in emergency scenarios and just kind of building the larger team.

Training is one piece. Testing is another. Our vehicle, this will be the first time humans have flown this spacecraft.

And the last thing is engaging with the public and letting them know that we're trying really hard to be good stewards of your things, of your time and your resources and celebrating the wins.

A full moon was visible behind the Artemis I SLS (Space Launch System) rocket and Orion spacecraft at Launch Complex 39B at NASA’s Kennedy Space Center in Florida on June 14, 2022. The first in an increasingly complex series of missions, Artemis I tested SLS and Orion as an integrated system prior to crewed flights to the Moon. NASA

ABC NEWS LIVE: What made you decide you wanted to be a pilot?

GLOVER: I was in college studying engineering, [and] one of my mentors came to work…wearing his Navy uniform. That opened up something that I never considered. I never saw myself, but because he looked like me, he was one of the few Black faculty members at Cal Poly, Dr. Wallace. Just seeing him in his uniform, changed that for me. And so I joined the Navy about two years later.

ABC NEWS LIVE: Tell me about the 1970 poem, by Gil Scott-Heron, "Whitey on the Moon."

GLOVER: I try to listen to it every Monday as I'm driving in to work. It's a good perspective.

As an ambassador of human spaceflight, I think it's important to understand the people that you're an ambassador to. We have to all work hard to understand America, not just the slice of America that we come from. And that poem, to me, represents a perspective that is not often shared when you hear people talk about Apollo.

You hear people say that Apollo saved the '60s, [and] Apollo 8 saved 1968, and there's a lot of truth in that. But there were a lot of people who weren't cheering.

They were protesting the Vietnam War, and wages, and the price of housing and the challenges to get an education.

NASA Astronaut Victor J. Glover, Jr. NASA

And so knowing that that was the America then, we have a duty to know what's America now in its fullness and its breath, so that we can be good stewards of the public's time and resources.

The things that are going on around the country in the wake of George Floyd's murder and Ahmaud Arbery's murder, the nation, the racial protests and the cities that were really struggling with getting those things under control after that, it's just indicative of people being in a place where they may not feel heard and they may not feel like they're being represented.

ABC NEWS LIVE: Many Black people on this planet are ailing, and meanwhile, the investment is going elsewhere.

GLOVER: Yes.

ABC NEWS LIVE: Do you feel that there's still a division, perhaps within the races, as far as going to space and how taxpayer money could be used more wisely, potentially from some critics?

GLOVER: You can't always analyze things at a state and national level. Sometimes you have to go into a community to understand it, to be able to truly empathize.

But sometimes it's just important to listen when people say, “Hey, I've got potholes in my neighborhood and I still have to go to the city to get clean drinking water.”

Marvin Gaye had a song as well, Make Me Wanna Holler, that talks about rocket ships and the cost of rocket ships versus what I have seen out my window.

The investment we make in NASA, between 300 and 700% return on every dollar we spend, creates $3 to $7 of economic and academic activity.

There are a lot of people that think that that poem is anti NASA. And I go, "Well, it's probably still important that we understand why it was written." It makes us better ambassadors of aeronautics in space.

There's no political, economic, [or] demographic division. It's something that I think most people can, can universally latch on to and just go, that's amazing.

The Artemis II crew is shown inside the Neil Armstrong Operations and Checkout Building at NASA’s Kennedy Space Center in Florida in front of their Orion crew module on Aug. 8, 2023. From left are: Jeremy Hansen, mission specialist; Victor Glover, pilot; Reid Wiseman, commander; and Christina Hammock Koch, mission specialist. NASA

Glover’s NASA colleagues agreed.

NASA ASTRONAUT JESSICA WATKINS: I think that is what unites us and makes human spaceflight a worthwhile endeavor. To have this single singular focus, that we can all get around and put all of our resources and expertise together towards to meet this challenge and explore together.

CHRISTINA KOCH: The thing about records [is] it's not about any one individual's success or contribution even... it's about the fact that it marks a milestone... a state of where we are at and where we are choosing to go.

ABC NEWS LIVE: What's the most awe-inspiring aspect of space?

GLOVER: Wow. To me, it is the way people react to it… the astronauts inside the spaceship and the people outside.

It's a really powerful thing to see human beings leave the planet

I'm wearing an American flag, but when I leave the planet, I represent Earth, you represent humanity, and I really take that seriously. We all have a duty to represent humanity.

[half-man-half-lime]

DAMN has it been a while since I did more than teeny tiny bits of art! I think I started sketching this in.... may of last year?

This is a lineup of villains from my tabletop campaign I'm running that's based on my comic idea, Excitement And Adventure And Really Wild Things. The arc takes place at a cheesy Wild West resort in the midst of an international summit about the setting's fantasy equivalent of America joining the setting's fantasy equivalent of WW2. These fine folks sign into the park and get the security code Sepia 9 (I hope the pun is obvious enough???)

More on the group and the individual characters below:

Sepia 9 was gathered by Cal Humble (3rd from the left) to track down party members suspected of killing diplomats (to save the world, but that mess was still a nightmare)

From left to right:

Ana Ng: A Nuran, a tentacle-haired fantasy race within the setting. Ana's a mercenary, a teleporting assassin hired to take out the party's tank before he could move to defend the others. She's also the only member of this crew who's supposed to show up in comics canon, in very different circumstances. Her gun creates portals on the surface they point at in a straight line through other surfaces, moving wherever she points. She ended up kidnapping all the world leaders and running off in an attempt to exchange them for an end to their colonial hold on other countries. The party was unfortunately forced to oppose her despite the moral quandary, but the diplomat of the group did trade the favor of saving them for preventing a major famine Ana was particularly worried about.

Dr. Stanley "The Manley" Starr: Dr. Stanley is a snake oil salesman from the same isolated dome as the party, and has unlocked some secret of human psychic potential by using mind-altering drugs, particularly psilocybin. He was brought in to drug and destabilize a party member who's convinced his dead squad of pilots were still with him, but that party member left, so he tried to drug other allies, and only sort of succeeded after one new party member stole most of his mushrooms. (He's a reskin of a character from comics canon very loosely based on someone I know, one of those things that's getting cut because it was in poor taste.)

Calcifer Torments The Wicked Until They Are Humble, AKA Cal Humble: Cal is an old school demon who left Hell for better things a long time ago, an incorporeal being in a mechanical body. He's loosely, and I mean VERY loosely based on Columbo, but he's like, the evil badass version, which doesn't really resemble Columbo all that much. Too much Jack Noir in his DNA. Cal headed the investigation into the diplomats' deaths, and assembled this group to find and arrest the party, while racing to this summit to defuse a complicated revelation about the nature of the enemy in this war. He tried to investigate and entrap the party's diplomat, but that character caught wind of the secret and pulled a diplomatic play to only have himself imprisoned as long as the party could work off their sentence.

Hazel Lope: A powerful forest witch, consultant on many state cases concerning magic. She's a Lepusan, a Hare Person race in the setting, of the Jackalope variety. Coming from a background of seeing magical forests bulldozed by state and corporations, losing her family in the process, she decided if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. She has no moral principles now, she just does her job and does it well, and has no qualms about tearing down anyone who stands in her way. A party member with a neurological issue that causes chronic anhedonia has been seeking Hazel out to help treat her condition, and Hazel knew this ahead of time, setting up a trap to have the ghost of a man this party member magically mutilated possess her to keep this PC from evading arrest.

[kyndaris]

A New Hope

As we all know, 2023 was a messy year in the history of the world. While I know humans are not liable to change just because time has ticked over to 2024, I cannot help but hope for a new beginning. Even as remnants of the past year remains with us.

Much like the games I've been playing in the lead-up to the holiday season. And the fact I schedule these posts up to 5 to 6 weeks in advance.

Still, I feel like the themes within Star Wars Jedi: Survivor are particularly apt for a year where we've seen the Voice Referendum fail and a renewal to the conflict on the West Bank between Israel and Hamas. As someone who has dabbled a little in reading the histories and likes to think they're up to date on global events, it's saddening to see ongoing cycles of hatred with no-one party wishing to break it. After all, the game itself sets itself on the story of Cal Kestis, one of very few survivors of the great Jedi purge after the end of the Clone Wars. Throughout the game, he must reckon with his own need for vengeance when it comes to the Empire and a betrayal near the end of the game, which hits closer to home with his found family.

But as most people know, an eye for an eye only serves to make the whole world blind. Blood begets blood and we are trapped in a vicious cycle of revenge.

Of course, the question arises: how can one forgive such heinous acts done against them by senseless violence and move on?

Although I would like to say I have the answers, I don't. The entirety of human history is a back and forth of grievances, fuelled by fear, anger, hatred and greed.

And this is something the characters in Star Wars Jedi: Survivor are intimately familiar with.

The game itself starts a few years after the ending of the first in the series. Instead of being accompanied by Cere, Greez and Merrin, players find Cal Kestis running with a new group as he continues his work with Saw Gerrera to hurt the Empire in any way he can. His current mission? Stealing information held by a Senator on the planet of Coruscant.

Indeed, the very thing players see is the old Jedi Temple, taken over by the Empire. The very sight of it sets Cal's teeth on edge.

But as with all things, the heist goes wrong and many of Cal's friends are killed in the escape from Coruscant. Cal, the playable character, manages to make it to hyperspace before learning of a gyro malfunction. This leads him to crash land on Koboh where we soon learn Greez has set up his own cantina and is living a rustic life on an Outer Rim planet.

From an exciting beginning, the game meanders a little as it introduces new threats such as the Bedlam Raiders and their leader, Rayvis, before pivoting a little to some High Republic history with the likes of Dagan Gera. And while the Empire is an ever present threat to Cal and his crew in this far, far away galaxy, it felt mostly peripheral to a very contained story about finding the mystical planet Tanalor. In fact, I was surprised how much Cal didn't seem to feel compelled to make contact with Saw again, or to take the fight back to the Empire except near the end when he stormed an Imperial base at Nova Garon.

In fact, so enraged is Cal by a betrayal close to him, he reaches out to the Dark Side of the Force for power. It is only when Merrin is there to calm him down that Cal relents and tries to take a step back from his destructive path.

While the Star Wars universe tends to make many things black and white, with Force wielders seemingly being corrupted as soon as they tap in these 'dark side' emotions, it should be noted that Cal being angry and hurt are valid. Just because he is a Jedi does not mean he can't feel loss or a need for revenge.

And anger and pain and fear aren't bad.

They simply make him human.

But the most important thing I found when I played through those last few hours was how Cal didn't allow his need for revenge to consume him. With a little help from Merrin and the presence of Kata to steady him. So, instead of killing the man who had betrayed him and ripped away most of his found family, Cal offered Bode the chance to live.

Of course, this isn't something most people can do when something horrifying rips their family apart. There's trauma, there's fear, there's anger. It isn't easy to let bygones be bygones when everything is so real and visceral and immediate.

True, Israel's actions have only let to more civilian casualties and the loss of many innocents, but they're only acting like a wounded and desperate beast after the events of October 7th when people were killed and hostages taken. And yes, the Palestinians also deserve their pound of flesh too after seeing children and loved ones die because of aerial bombardment as Israel attempts to smoke out Hamas.

Hopefully by the time this post goes up, a ceasefire has been declared. But the bigger question remains of how to settle the bad blood between these two peoples. Forgiveness is not an easy thing to grant when war crimes and other atrocities have been committed against each other.

And as other countries have shown, such humiliations can be century long grudges. Look no further than China as it tries to assert its dominance in the Pacific region.

From a gameplay perspective, Star Wars Jedi: Survivor presents more of the same but with a more additional flourishes. Since Cal has relearned many of his Force abilities like Force Jump, Force Pull and Force Push, Respawn Entertainment has introduced a few more things to play around with such as Force Lift and Force Slam. Even better, it also adds in new stances like dual wielding, blaster stance and even a crossguard lightsaber - ripped straight from the Sequel Trilogy.

These all add a bit more flavour to the game although I primarily stayed with the single blade as it was the most versatile. Now I need to remind myself to use more Force powers on the regular to deal with my enemies instead of simply toughing it out with only blade work.

Oh, but I cannot talk about Star Wars Jedi: Survivor without also talking about the jump in graphic fidelity when I played on my PlayStation 5. From the first cutscene to the very end, Jedi: Survivor was beautiful. True, sometimes the textures took a while to pop in even though I played the game six months after launch, but the panoramas I saw while gliding or just climbing up a mountain were a sight to behold.

Then, of course, there was the music as it took cues from the score of one John Williams. One tune that stuck with me throughout the game was the little ditty that played whenever I opened up a Stim chest. Instead of Star Wars, it almost had a Hogwarts ring to it. After all, John Williams was also the composer to the Harry Potter films. Is it any wonder some of the motifs and cues are shared?

In any case, after finishing Star Wars Jedi: Survivor and nabbing the platinum trophy, I look forward to see what Respawn Entertainment will go next (even as I hope they'll ditch the Dark Souls-esque nature of the meditation points and the loss of experience points should you fall in battle). It'll also be interesting to see where Cal's journey take him next. Especially as we head closer and closer to the events of the original trilogy where the Empire is defeated by upstart rebels.

Also, here's hoping poor Cal gets to wear his lovable poncho again from the very start of the game instead of it being gated behind an annoying boss battle.

On that note, it is also my most heartfelt wish for the world to find some semblance of balance and peace. Change needs to happen. It is inevitable. Yet, sometimes it's okay for it to take a bit longer to do so.

As long as it does.

[inquisimer]

Happy Friday! For DADWC: ‘Why must I be the one to hide?’ for the characters of your choosing?

happy happy friday <3 dusting off this prompt from who knows how long ago to share a bit of a newish OC who's going to feature in a ~secrit~ project I'm working on uwu

Tamsyn is an elven rogue who lives in Denerim and co-leads the rogue's guild from those side quests in DAO!

for @dadrunkwriting

~~~

Working the Denerim Market is something of a dance, and Tamsyn considers herself an expert.

Mick has taken some more seasoned recruits for a run at one of the vacated estates nearby. Without a Landsmeet convening, most nobles keep only a skeleton crew of servants on staff and most of those have deals with the Guild to look the other way while locks are picked and traps disabled. And the few that don’t—well, sneaking improves much faster when there are stakes to being discovered.

That leaves Tamsyn alone with the freshest bunch of recruits. A little over half the group once belonged to other guilds or freelanced and migrated to Denerim as word of their success spread; the remainder are a motley mix of kids—mostly elves—that Tamsyn herself had scooped off the streets. Left to the gutter by a society that couldn’t be bothered and was just waiting for them to screw up to justify the moral high horse.

They didn’t see what Tamsyn sees. She sees potential.

“The District is primarily human, at least the section we’ll be in today,” she tells them. One of their youngest recruits, a slip of an elfkit, is perched on a stool in front of her, rocking slightly on the balls of her feet as Tamsyn twists her hair into a simple plait. “Humans see pointed ears and expect a servant. Give them what they expect and they won’t waste the effort to look any closer.”

She taps the girl’s shoulder and hands her an apron that matches the one Tamsyn is already wearing. Her own scarred face is a slightly harder sell as a servant, but the day is overcast and the marks carved into her skin are less noticeable without the sun.

The other recruits are similarly dressed and looking an appropriate mix of nervous and excited. Tamsyn passes baskets to each of them in turn.

“The only people that doesn’t apply to are the guards. To shake their suspicion, you’ll need to establish what you’re in the Market to do—browse a shop, ask the stall tender questions, drop the name of your lord or lady. All of these things will legitimize you and like the others, they’ll move on to watching someone more suspicious.”

It isn’t the first time they’ve heard these things, but a bit of a refresher is always a confidence booster. It isn’t the first time she’s taken a batch of recruits on a training run, either. She hands off the last basket and gives each recruit a once over.

“Your picks are showing, Callum,” she says, smiling to ease the correction. The gangly boy flushes red anyway and scrambles to adjust his belt so his lock picks are properly concealed by his billowy tunic. “Good, better. Alright” —Tamsyn clasps her hands in front of her chest— “who wants to review the plan for me?”

“Oo, oo, me!!” Laurel’s pigtail plaits bounce against her shoulders in her eagerness. Tamsyn nods.

“Me and Cal are going ‘round the perimeter—I’m actin’ his servant, so I’ll have both baskets. We’re nabbin’ trinkets, stuff that can be flipped or melted down.”

She pauses and glances up at Tamsyn for approval. When she gets it, her smile multiplies and she continues on, lisping slightly against her teeth. “Rudy an’ Boyd are with you at the middle shops, goin’ after that stuffy bitch who—“

“Laurel!”

“—talks all funny. What?” She looks immediately defensive but relaxes when she sees that Tamsyn’s objection isn’t in anger, but amused surprise. “I heard you tell Mick tha’s what she is!”

“Quite right you are.” Tamsyn reaches out and tugs the end of one of Laurel’s braids. “Finish it off?”

“Oh—right! And Aoife will be under Gorim’s stall in case we need a quick distraction.”

The youngest recruit has donned her apron and now she pouts, folding her arms over her chest and dropping her chin against her chest. “Why must I be the distraction? I wanna do something important.”

Quick as a fennec, Tamsyn drops to one knee. At this angle, with Aoife perched once more on her stool, she has to tilt her chin back slightly to meet the girl’s eyes. She holds out a hand, palm up, for Aoife to trace in the way she knows is comforting.

“Why don’t you think your job is important?”

“I’m just hiding,” she mumbles. “And maybe running. None o’ the special stuff we practiced.”

“That’s true. But it’s still important.” Tamsyn folds her fingers around Aoife’s much smaller hand and squeezes. “I’ve done this a lot, and it’s much easier to be relaxed if I’m sure there’s someone waiting and ready to help us get away safely. And if I’m more relaxed, I’m less likely to get caught.”

Aoife snifles. “Like…me and sissy used to climb the Vhenadahl, but she’d only go really high if Soris was there. Like that?”

“Exactly. And we all have different things we do well, right? Like I’m pretty good at untangling knots. And Boyd is really good at reaching things without a stool.”

Aoife nods.

“So when we work together, we give everybody a job that suits them. Do you know why I asked you to be our distraction?”

She shakes her head and Tamsyn smiles, leaning in like she’s sharing a deep, wise secret. “Because the stall where you’re hiding belongs to a dwarf. So it’s extra short. But you’re small and fast, which means you’re perfect for that job.”

Aoife’s lips part in a perfect, surprised o and then she lights up like candles in a Chantry. “My sissy always told me being small was bad, but this time it’s good!”

“It’s always going to be good,” Tamsyn corrects gently, nicking the end of Aoife’s nose with one finger. “We’ll make sure of it.”

She straightens and grins around at the rough ensemble. “Ready, then?”

A chorus of nods, apprehensive but mostly eager, meet her words.

“Alright. Let’s head out.”

[silverislander]

DND TOMORROW i'm so excited. cal has so much to fucking deal with and consider after last week. to do list

check in with the barbarian, whose wild magic charmed her during an important fight. she didn't have time to process that and it's not the first time he's done it- last time it led to a pvp fight that nearly got her killed. she doesn't understand wild magic and assumes he's either purposefully messing around in her head (EXTREMELY bad) or a magical dunce (still bad but forgivable). either way, she's about to ruin at least some of the progress she's made on their relationship either by verbally berating him or condescending to him over it

make sure the monk is functional if not ok after a massive breakdown, dissociative episode/panic attack and backstory revelation of accidentally killing his entire found family as a child

cal has to start questioning her coping mechanisms as a result of that breakdown- clearly shoving shit down and ignoring it doesn't work. look what it did to him! now what, it's her only coping mechanism other than running away and sabotaging relationships before they hurt her

deal with having told him about one of her greatest shames- getting her old best friends killed/arrested. he wasn't supposed to ever know about that, nobody was. she's just praying it's a "you keep my secret, i keep yours" situation, but the monk has never been good at keeping his mouth shut

deal with how she feels around recognizing that feeling she's been having about monk for months now- it's that she considers him her brother. not an ally or business partner, but someone she would do anything to protect. that scares the actual fuck out of her

... and knowing cal, she is not going to take this well. again, her reaction to love and concern is to try and drive that person as far away as possible by being mean as hell so they can't hurt her when they leave first. she's probably going to get distant and could realistically get mean, but i don't. want to do that. she had an episode where she literally chased the party off of her with a misplaced fear spell, i think she's starting to learn that it doesn't work anymore. i want it to be clear that she is doing this bc she's so fucking scared of the possibility of losing him, too, when she's lost everyone else

i might talk this over in character with the wizard. cal trusts him to give decent advice, even when she doesn't want to listen, so if nothing else he can temper her reaction to the realization

i'm considering referring to monk by the gnomish word for brother as well? only the wizard speaks gnomish, and knowing cal, it's going to come off like an insult if you don't know what it means. could make for some fun drama (ESP if any npcs in the crew know gnomish too) and a little emotional reveal

i want to orient future combat towards trying to protect him as well. not to the exclusion of the rest of the party, of course, but she is going to give priority to him in terms of healing/defense when she can. she might've gotten her last family killed due to carelessness, but she will be damned if it happens twice

[faivsz]

once i read this post i just had to write this out, but most of it feels like im just repeating what you said so i apologize in advance

Cal's journey on trying to move past The Fight and, as Greez put it, being 'more than a lightsaber' is such a well written struggle. It's all that he's knew- Being one of the few Jedi left, he was immediately put into a war and became a child soldier (a pre-teen at that, leading an entire battalion of clones alongside Jaro Tapal). After his master's death- He was alone. Cal hid himself, shut himself off from the Force, and lived a life working under the Empire who caused it all. Rather than acknowledging, understanding, and coming to terms with Tapal's death, he avoids it entirely, becoming evasive when inquired about his past. He has his regrets and guilt. When Cere and Greez finds him, he's reminded that he is a Jedi and has a responsibility. He's a protector of the Light and he had the ability to protect what is left of it. Through Cordova's recordings and Cere, he's also given a new perspective and lessons- He will struggle, he will face the darkness, but failure is not the end. There are those who are willing to fight. Of course, throughout his journey, it's difficult- For a while he believes that given a enough time, Cal and the Mantis crew could make an impact or even a noticeable dent in the Empire. They were small, sure, but there's that thought "with them, we can do it." He's a loyal guy- So much so that he's willing to throw himself in harms way to a point it kind of irritates the rest of the crew. Yet, it doesn't last. The Battle Scars novel kind of goes into this- Cal and his bond with the crew is put to the test and their differences begin to show. They all have their own goals, and Cal's wish to fight the Empire head on wasn't shared. Cere wanted to leave behind mementos of the Jedi for future generations to look to, Merrin's struggle in finding herself after being away from Dathomir for so long, then Greez whose getting old and wants to settle down. The idea of bonds and relationships confused Cal. He inquires Cere about what defines such, but even she couldn't give a good answer. It's a hard topic to understand. His relationship with Merrin, especially- There was always a romantical subtext with her and Cal yet it was never verbally acknowledged. He even gets jealous as Merrin temporarily got into small romantical relationship with another character in the novel. Though, throughout the book, we can see their love for each other conveyed through small gestures or indirect affirmations. Then the story of Survivor comes in. He has a new crew he's connected to, friends and allies. Cal's grown and matured- He has more experience. Things begin happen rapidly, left and right- He loses his crew, and is essentially alone again. Cal still holds a small grudge (although some more than others) against the original Mantis crew for departing ways, but with how things are turning out, he has to get over it and slowly heals the wound they left him with and lets them back in. During his ventures, he meets other people, hearing their stories of how the Empire affected them, how they ended up where they were, or their relationships with their companion. They're all individuals who lived their own life and made their own decisions despite dark times. Like the Mantis did. After they defeat Dagan, it seems like all is going to work out well. Cal was rekindling his relationship with Cere, which seemed to hit the hardest during the split. He even tells Cere that she could relocate the archive on Tanalorr, a telltale sign that he's come to recognize Cere's objective is just as important as his own. They were all excited for Tanalorr- It was a spark of potential and hope.

They all care for each other deeply in their own ways, but for Cal, acknowledging that he truly loved them meant that he had everything to lose. Attachment was dangerous, yet, in a way, was one of the few good things he had. Maybe it was time for him to leave behind the Order's teachings. Merrin making the move to abruptly kiss him during the Jedha jump started this. Had she not made the move then and there, Cal most likely would have kept his feelings to himself and push it down. With her initiation and Bode's previous prompting Cal to consider pursuing his feelings, he's once again come to the aspect of love vs his dedication to fighting. As soon as he's about to move forward, it all crumbles down. Cal isn't exactly given proper time to grieve, either. He's the person that either internalizes (as you pointed out), ignores his own conflict and own wants so he can focus on the bigger issue, or even shuts down once it becomes too much. We see all of this in the aftermath of Bode's betrayal. What hurts especially is that Cal, how many hours later after being knocked out, experienced Cere's death through a Force Echo. Not only did he leave her so he can confront Bode, his mentor that help set him on his path and rescued him on Bracca was dead because of it. The path to Tanalorr is a "sacrifice millions to save one person" or "sacrifice few to save the masses". Bode had asked at some point that once the Empire had came for them, would Cal be able to guarantee Kata's safety? It's a hard question to answer. But Cal was willing to give Bode another chance, because that's who he is. He wants to see the better of people. Even after meeting the person whom Bode is desperately trying to protect, they still can't see eye to eye, and it's the final straw.

Cal's finally pushed to the edge- He's lost almost everything and was betrayed by the person he's learned to trust and saw as a brother. His strength and compassion was used against him. Everything Cal bottled up, he lets it all out through the rampage in Nova Garon. He's unravelling, he's losing himself.

Bode and Dagan were prime examples of obsession that led them to harming the people they loved the most. Cal's seen what the dark side has done to people (Ninth Sister, Bode, Dagan, etc.) and how it can change people quickly (like with Cere). He almost followed the same path of crossing the line, yet Merrin was there to keep him grounded (similarly to how Cal was there to remind Cere back on Nur). Cal's reminded that vengeance isn't him. He's remorseful, realizing the person he could have become had it not been for her. They come to the decision to give Bode just one more chance. It can be said that since Dagan's the representation of obsession of the fight, Bode represented the immense obsession with the fear of losing a loved one. He already lost his wife, and was willing to do whatever it took to protect Kata, even going as far as to hurt her. The final stand off between Cal and Bode, Cal didn't shoot first. Bode tried to, and it was enough to tell Cal that Bode was truly lost. If he was left alive, he wasn't going to stop. Essentially, they were both just two people trying to protect what they have left. Cal needed to do what he had to. At the end of Survivor, he's scared. They technically won- They had access to Tanalorr, but inevitably lost more than what was gained. Cal's faced with uncertainty, walking forward blindly as the Empire expanded. Now he had Cere's legacy to add on and Kata to care for.

With everything that's happened and all that he's lost, Cal has to reconsider his stance and his fight against the Empire. He may not fight them head on as he did before- There were other ways of facing the Empire. With the Hidden Path beginning to grow as word spreads, Cal also has people to protect, and they needed each other more than ever- He doesn't want to risk losing more than he already has. They were but a few people on a small ship- maybe Cal needed to focus on what he has now, rather than the bigger picture. In conclusion, Cal has to keep moving forward. He knows this. One of the things I love the most about him is that, despite everything that's been thrown at him- the trauma, the loss, the struggle- Cal forces himself back up and keeps going. He doesn't know what's going to happen, but Merrin reassures him that they'll work through it, just as they have done before. Survivors adapt. He has a legacy to carry, yeah, but he's now he's learning to be something more than that. He has their teachings and lessons. Cal's gradually allowing himself to properly feel and acknowledge them. His selflessness is what harms him the most, but at the same time he's also selfish when it comes to people he loves. He needs to let go of of it all in order to grow. You can love, but they too are their own person that have their own lives. They can support one another regardless.

Kata, in a way, is a starting point for this growth. Cal and Merrin lost their families at a young age, and were left alone. Kata, having lost her mother to the Inquisitors, now lost her father. She may seem understanding of the situation, but processing it is different. While they all faced loss, the big difference is that Kata has them to help guide her through it all. She has support from them that Cal and Merrin didn't for years. They need to give her space and time without becoming overbearing, but they'll be there. It won't be the last time they'll face the darkness, but they aren't alone.

I have thoughts about Cal's trust issues and I'm going to make it everyone's problem

(with special thanks to @cal-with-a-kesett-tape and @weadapt's problem cause they started this blubbering mess)

It hit me like a brick earlier.

Cal knew the Mantis crew loved him.

Love wasn't enough to make them stay.

Cal has never had the chance to really sit down and think about what attachments really were and how they feel. Hear me out.

This started about Cal's trust issues. I started thinking yeah, the way his Mantis crew family left all of a sudden really shook them and he kind of replaced them subconsciously with a new crew, a new family. A couple of quick notes:

- Lost his master

- Loses all his friends on Bracca (it's implied in Jedi Survivor post-game dialogue that he had other friends besides Prauf that he left behind)

- Prauf

- Crew he grew to love left him jarring his whole world

- Lost his "new" crew suddenly and all he has left of that memory is Bode so he kind of clings to Bode unknowingly

- Bode betrayal shatters him

- Clings to the idea that he and Dagan could work together - for a split second you can see in his eyes he sees it all. He and Dagan, hair flowing in the wind, swinging lightsabers, fighting the empire together, rebuilding the order together, it's romantic really. That lasts all of 2 seconds and he's so confused.

- He loses Cordova, a man he had a pseudo-connection through BD-1 with for so long

- Loses Cere, his second master

- Has to literally kill Bode and live with that

That said, I started thinking yeah he probably doesn't really realize that how deep that all goes within him or how much it actually comes down to his lack of really knowing what attachments are. This is going to cause so many trust issues and him closing himself off because he can't handle the reality of losing more people, especially after Bode shattered his inner-most circle. How's he going to let people in again?

Then it hit me like a brick.

There's a big reason why he sees so much of himself in Dagan. Dagan's attachments turned sour - it went the Vader route of being possessive. His obsession with Sentari's project and Tanalorr was a product of not being able to let his attachments go. That's pretty clear in the game, and mirrored in how Cal has allowed "The Fight" to become his attachment.

Jaro's last words are, "Hold the line" right? We know how he now has this deep engrained need to be needed. He has to fight for something. Yes, it's all he knows, but it's deeper than that, it's the last thread he has to his master. What would happen if he let that go? Cal hasn't really sat and thought about that yet.

Not only that, Cal has internalized his loyalty to this cause as like. A familial thread. The fight was his thing and the Mantis crew became his family, filling a void. The fight is their thing. And for the first time in his life Cal feels safe again. He's finally got some solidly dedicated efforts and people he can depend on. So in them leaving the Fight behind (for good reasons!!) Cal can't reconcile that leaving that isn't leaving him too, (or as @cal-with-a-kesett-tape puts it, abandoning him) it's like denouncing loyalty to him too. He just can't separate that connection and his own attachment. Maybe that's reaching and obviously there's more to it, but I dunno guys, I dunno!!

YOU CAN LOVE EVERYONE SO MUCH AND YOU HAVE TO COME TO TERMS WITH THE FACT THAT PEOPLE CAN AND WILL LEAVE OF THEIR OWN VOLITION!!

AND HE CAN'T DEAL WITH THAT BECAUSE HE DOESN'T REALLY UNDERSTAND HOW THAT LOVE GETS POURED OUT IN HIS LIFE. CAL'S LOVE LANGUAGE IS LITERALLY LOYALTY AND QUALITY TIME AND THE FIGHT.

Again, there's a part of Cal that just never got to stand beside his master like the Padawans of the Republic Era got to and ask all their questions or be scolded like the way Ahsoka did about being too attached to her Master. She had to dig deep and understand what that meant, how to acknowledge it, and how to let it go. Cal has Cere but maybe she just assumed? Who knows. Cal obviously struggled with it more than anyone realized. No discredit to Cere, I just don't think it ever really crossed her mind. Or, you know, Cal's stupid stubborn especially with Cere. Maybe he just ignored her in classic Cal fashion.

All that stemmed from this:

The romance aspect.

He knows taking a romantic step forward is a risk in general. And yes there's all that subconscious hesitation because he's a Jedi. But there's a bigger problem at play with Merrin.

I have to wonder if he did in fact know how she felt about him before she left. And if he did, it's just so much worse.

To him, all this buildup of love and trust. Down the refresher the day she left. So I wonder, maybe a lot of his hesitation isn't about him accepting his feelings. Maybe he gets it. He just struggles with letting someone in again who, in his mind, so easily let him go. He now has to come to terms that he wants to ask her to stay. He has to acknowledge in his mind that he wants her enough to be ok with letting her back in, knowing she's her own person and there's a chance she has to go do her thing someday and he might just have to let her, and that would be ok.

Romance aside, he has to go through that the whole game. Letting the Mantis crew in again. Working things out with everyone, hearing them out, seeing them in their element and finally being at peace with the split - knowing they all made the right decision even if it hurt.

So all the parallels worry me, because yes, he may be more self aware. He might've learned a few lessons, might be more at peace with a few decisions, but the way he just stands in shock at the funeral pyres is just worrisome because you know he's internalizing things. Right when he feels like he's making a step forward, he's taking steps back. The darkness is there now too, and he's going to struggle, because he has more to protect.

This whole experience in survivor was such a crucial point in it but at the same time we know, it's also simultaneously reinforcing his fear of further abandonment and more trust issues, and also his fears of the dark side so I'm kind of nervous to see. Where is all of this culminates to in the next game because he's learned for sure but I also feel like some other things maybe got reinforce that shouldn't have.

Right when he was learning to move on from his attachment to the Fight, he has a new thing, rebuilding Cere's legacy and keeping Tanalorr safe. It's almost like he's doubled up on all of it. Maybe he'll learn to be at peace and let things go but for now, sweet baby boy's trust issues are off the charts!!!!

Anyway maybe none of that made sense and you don't have to agree these are just thoughts after all! Take care!