#so even though I might be spending it alone (I'm trying to get my brother to visit)

[filet-o-feelings]

I'm leaning hard into the holiday spirit this year. Last year I was away for 2 weeks so I didn't even bother putting my tree up. There was one other year recently when I just couldn't muster the mental or physical energy to bother. So, I had the energy and time this weekend and my tree and decorations are already up, I've been burning cinnamon candles and drinking hot chocolate, and there's just a very cozy vibe in here. Who wants to come hang out and read holiday themed fics with me?

I love my little tree

[monzabee]

bad idea right? – ln4

masterlist

Summary: The one where seeing Lando tonight is a bad idea, right?

Pairing: lando norris x ricciardo!reader

Word Count: 4.8k

Warnings: mentions of breakups and also fighting, cursing, kind of a toxic relationship?, allusion to smut, it's criminal how long it took me to finish this fic

Request: this wasn’t requested, but the idea is veeery loosely from this tiktok right here! (i might def write the scenario in the tiktok in the future though)

Author’s Note: hi, hey, hello!! it has officially been a month since i started my master's programme and i have to say it is absolutely kicking my ass, but thank you all for bearing with me while i adjust! this song has been stuck in my head for the last two-three (?) months and i really wanted to write a fic based on it. i also wanted to say that i've received all of your guys' requests, and i'm working on those, but it's harder for me to get out a request than a fic that just popped in my head because i tend to be more of a perfectionist with those - so, those are definitely on the way, don't worry! i hope you guys enjoy! good morning, noon or night wherever you are, xoxobee

Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms. 

It’s not that you don’t like spending time with your brother and his girlfriend – because you do, but considering the fact that spending a mere hour with them causes you to suddenly question your life choices (of being single), you are very eager to leave them alone for the night. Which brings us to the current situation, with you standing in front of your brother’s apartment complex in one of the hoodies you stole from the sample boxes, waiting for someone you should’ve never hit up in the first place. It was probably not your brightest idea to message Lando to ask him if he wants to go for a ride, especially because a) the last time you saw him a year ago the two of you were yelling and throwing things at each other and b) you’re definitely buzzed from the bottle of wine you hogged upstairs. But you know what they say; absence makes the heart go fonder, right?

So there you are with your phone in your hand, texting Lily in hopes of getting the tiniest bit of reassurance about your decision.

To lily m: i texted lando To lily m: he’s gonna pick me up From lily m: WHAT? NO To lily m: seeing him tonight To lily m: it’s a bad idea, right? From lily m: YES From lily m: DO NOT GET INTO THAT CAR To lily m: yes i know that he’s my ex, but can’t two people reconnect?

Fuck it, it’s fine, you decide as you quickly delete the last two messages. With a soft sigh, you wrap your arms around yourself to shield yourself from the cold air of the night. And while you could just wait for Lando inside the apartment building, you really don’t want to attract more attention to yourself. You can feel yourself getting more and more nervous as the minutes pass by, and you even contemplate cancelling the whole thing and going upstairs to sleep. Just as you’re about to give up on the whole thing, a car honk grabs your attention. When turn to look at the source of the sound, you see Lando’s unamused face through the open window.

He motions you to get in with his head, his voice as equally detached as he calls out, “Get in.”

Rolling your eyes at his behaviour, you do as your told. But you tell yourself that it’s not because he told you to, but because you’re cold. And so you get in the car making sure you slam the door as hard as you can, which makes him scowl as a small smile forms on your lips. “You know, you could really try on being more polite.”

“I’m picking you up in the middle of the night,” he points out as he puts the car on drive and starts driving off, “and put your damn seatbelt on.”

You give him a sideway glance as you put on your seatbelt, letting out a sigh, “Are you okay? I’m sensing some serious undertone.”  

Lando doesn’t answer you, mainly because he is smarter than he looks and he knows you’re trying to goad him into another fight. That’s what the two of you had always done, not that he hated you or vice versa, but the two of you mainly got along in fights which ended up in both of you twisted between the sheets of the whatever hotel you were currently staying in. And it had worked for a while, until of course it didn’t, and Lando was mature enough to admit that he had a huge role in fucking up your relationship.

“You changed your car,” you point out.

“Thought you’d appreciate a roof over your head this time,” he replies.

The car is silent as Lando drives down the now empty streets of Monte Carlo, and you find yourself involuntarily checking out his side profile because well, he always looked so good while driving. You suppose it’s only one of the things that didn’t change with time.

“So,” his voice draws you out from your thoughts, “why’d you call me tonight? Are you drunk?”

“I am not drunk,” you scoff, crossing your arms across your chest, “if you don’t feel like being here Lando, I can just get off and go home.”

“Now I didn’t say that, I simply asked a question.” He steals another glance at you, but this time a little smirk forms on his lips when your eyes meet and he sees your scowl. “It was a harmless question, really.”

Your voice comes off as clipped as you answer, “I’m not drunk.”

“Your cheeks are red,” Lando points out but the playfulness from mere seconds ago is gone, in fact, he’s more serious than you’ve probably ever seen him, “you either had wine or your rosacea is acting up.”

It takes a moment for you to take in his words, and there is no humour in his voice or on his face when you look at him to see whether he’s joking or not. “I had some wine,” you confess, voice much lower than before as you add, “but I’m not drunk.” One of his eyebrows rise up, and you find yourself mumbling, “Fine maybe a little bit, but not a lot.”

His jaw ticks as he mumbles, “Okay, whatever you say.” And as you try to assess whether his voice is cold or not, you see his hands tightening around the steering wheel.

“What?” You ask, a bit quicker than necessary (in your opinion), “What did I say?”

Now it’s his turn for his voice to be clipped, and his eyebrows furrow as he asks, “Did you only call me because you’re drunk?”

“No,” your reply is truthful to some extent, you suppose, you would’ve texted him even if you had no alcohol in your system. “I wanted to see you.”

He lets out a hum, “Why?”

It’s a hard question, and you contemplate not being a hundred percent honest – but deep down you know he deserves better, even if you had your differences. So, to reveal the truth, you turn your face away from him to look outside the window, “I missed you.”

He doesn’t say anything, and you don’t turn to see what his reaction will be. Everything is peaceful for a moment.

He takes you to a hill, the very one he took you for your first date. Though, it doesn’t carry the same excitement this time around. The two of you remain in the car with the windows rolled down, but the colder air doesn’t make you chilly. It’s silent, but it’s not an uncomfortable one. Neither of you make the first move to start a conversation, and you don’t know if that’s because you’re both obstinate or he doesn’t want to be there. Though, you suspect he would’ve told you ‘no’ if he didn’t want to be there – not that he could ever tell you ‘no’.

It's unnaturally hard, you realise, not looking at him on purpose when he’s seated so close to you. Especially because you haven’t seen him in months. Not that you’d confess that to him, or let yourself have another weak moment where you say you missed him. Because you can’t. Because it’s not the way the two of you operate. Because he broke your heart but you’re not strong enough to let him go. With that last thought, you take a sharp breath, undo your seatbelt and get out of the car. You lean against the hood of the car and he soon follows suit. But where your hands are splayed behind your back, his arms are crossed over his chest.

“You’ve not been sleeping.” It’s not a question, it’s a statement. Because he is not dumb (or blind enough) to let the circles under your eyes slide.

And it’s a statement that might be true. You only give him half of a shrug, “So?”

“It means that something is bothering you.” You’re about to object, but he quickly shuts you down, “I once drove you around for four hours so you could sleep in my car, honey,” his fingers move to gently turn your chin towards him so he can look into your eyes, “and that was because you forgot to bring me back junk food from Australia.”

Even if you’re taken aback by his physical touch, you don’t show it as you stubbornly maintain your eye contact. “It’s the jet lag, I haven’t travelled in a while.” You gulp down a breath as you gently push his hand away, “And don’t call me that.”

“Why?” He turns his body to face you, “You’re just as sweet, aren’t you?”

“Lando,” you warn him, “don’t.”

He raises a brow, “Why not?”

“Because we’re friends,” your response comes off in an instant, “I only see you as a friend.” The biggest lie you’ve ever said.

“Friends,” he repeats, tests out the word, then shrugs, “sure. Now tell me what happened tonight that made you call me. Did you and Daniel fight?”

“What?” an involuntary laugh leaves your lips, and you catch the corner of his lips turning upwards just the smallest bit. “No, we didn’t, it’s not about Daniel. Can we just not talk about it, please?”

He gives you a firm nod, and you catch his grimace as he turns his attention back to the view in front of you. “You can tell me, you know,” he mumbles, “you used to.”

He’s right, you realise. You used to tell him all the little thought that popped into your head, whether it was nice or not, and he’d accommodated your thoughts. It was easier to talk to him, once upon a time, and you’re not really sure why it hurts so much right now that you can’t.

“Why do you care?” The question comes out quickly, and your voice is not as strong as you’d like it to be. “After everything, why do you care?”

“We’re friends, right?” The words tastes unbelievably sour in his mouth, and he has to restrain himself from making any sort of face, but it seems harder than it actually is for him to do and he questions whether it is worth it to

“Friends,” this time it’s your turn to test out the word, and it tastes as bitter as they come, “sure, can we ride around a bit more?”

“Fine,” he gives you a nod and motions you to get in the car, “but I have to get gas first.”

The fluorescent lighting of the gas station is definitely not the most flattering thing. So much so that you’re sure the unflattering light outside is exaggerating the bags under your eyes. But that situation of course doesn’t apply to Lando because even under the harsh lighting, he looks too pretty. And compared to earlier in the night, you don’t try to hide the way your eyes focus on him while he’s driving, though you hope you do a much better job at hiding the thoughts that come to your mind. Even after he’s parked the car in the nearest pump, you find yourself staring at his side profile a bit too long, which earns you a sideway smirk and you try your hardest not to react, but the smile you keep trying to fight is too strong and eventually you find yourself with the tiniest smile playing on your lips.

Lando turns towards you, meets your eyes and leans over the console, “Do you want anything from the shop?”

You blink once, trying to come up with anything, twice, then “Can you get me those gummy bears that I like?”

He gives you another nod, reaches into his pocket and then hand you his phone. Ignoring your questioning stare, he explains, “So that you can play music or something, the password is still the same.” Before he gets out of the car, he does the unexpected and leans in just a little bit more to press a feather-light kiss to your temple.

You watch him get out of the car and walk away from you with your mouth slightly hanging open. You contemplate trying to unlock the phone, because why would he tell you that his password is the same? And why would he trust you with his phone when the two of you have been broken up for over a year? With shaky hands, your fingers put in the password, calling Lando’s bluff. Oh shit, you think when the phone unlocks, now what? Throwing the phone out of your hands onto the driver seat, you grab your own and quickly type a new message to Kika, who of course got the news from Lily and has been blowing up your phone, while ignoring her dozen other messages who went unread in your text thread.

To kika: this was a bad idea kika Tokika: a very *very* bad idea From kika: please tell me you’re going home To kika: um… To kika: sure From kika: GET OUT OF THAT CAR AND GET YOUR ASS HOME From kika: NOW!!

Chewing on your lower lip, your eyes linger on the messages spamming your phone, and you contemplate just getting out of the car and trying to find your way back home. But you also can’t help yourself but think… what’s the worst that could happen if you stayed? Clicking the button on the side of your phone, you place it face down on your lap after making sure you silence it for the rest of the night. With the reminder of the abandoned phone on the seat next to yours, you open your window to let some of the night air in. As your phone keeps buzzing on your lap, your eyes focus on the figure that comes out of the convenience store – and by some grace of God, he doesn’t realise the way your eyes basically undress him as he approaches his McLaren.

There’s no smile on his face, in fact, if you didn’t know Lando, you’d say he looks like an asshole; not that he occasionally doesn’t act like one. He gives you that boyish smirk when he’s next to your window, signalling you to roll it down by tapping on it twice. Lando leans against the car, his eyes locked onto yours. “Got your gummy bears,” he says, holding up the package and handing it to you once you roll it down. “It was the last one too, you’re lucky.”

Giving a tight lipped smile to the man looking expectantly at you, you accept the packet of gummy bears. “Thank you, Lando,” the softening look in his eyes is, ironically, strong enough for you to choke on the next words that are on the tip of your tongue. “I–”

“I’m sorry to bother you, are you Lando Norris?” A third voice interrupts you, and you find yourself moving your gaze from Lando to the woman who’s excitedly waiting for a response.

“Yes,” he breathes out, and you can tell he’s trying to keep his voice polite but he’s also very annoyed at the same time – though the way he eyes up the stranger definitely makes your blood boil.

With his attention on the woman, you find yourself feel the tension in the air and quickly look down at the packet of gummy bears in your hands. You start absentmindedly picking at the wrapper, your mind racing with a mixture of emotions. As the conversation between Lando and the fan continues, you steal glances at them from the corner of your eye. She's gushing about a recent race, talking animatedly about the thrilling moments she witnessed. Lando, for his part, is gracious and engaged, taking the time to listen and respond. And despite the polite exchange, you can't help but feel a pang of jealousy. It's a reminder of the world he's a part of, a world where fans approach him with admiration and excitement. A world you used to share, but now only observe from the sidelines.

You watch the woman place her hand on Lando’s bicep, laughing at a (rather mediocre) joke he made about the understeer of the car. It’s not a funny joke by any means, and you are not scared to admit that the woman’s laugh that fills your ears makes your insides twist uncomfortably. You remind yourself that you're here by choice. You could have left at any moment. But there's something about this night, about being with Lando again, that you can't quite let go of. It's a confusing mix of nostalgia and longing, wrapped in a blanket of uncertainty.

The woman’s voice hits your ears as you hear her ask, “Do you want to come back to my place?”

Without letting them both know that you’re actively listening into their conversation, you attempt to subtly let out a warning cough, but Lando covertly smirks as he leans towards the car with his hand grabbing the lowered window – without caring about the possible finger prints he might leave behind, might you add. Without any hesitation, you let your fingers go of the packaging to thread your fingers with his.

While his thumb gently starts to draw circles on the knuckle of your thumb, he does his best to supress the chuckle building up in his throat. “That’s, um, very kind – but I’m with my girl, you see, and we are both pretty tired.”

Maybe you would’ve given her a friendly smile over a misunderstanding if you were in a better mood, but as the woman looks at you with wild eyes, all you can offer her is an annoyed pout, and soon after she leaves after apologising to you both for interrupting your plans. You watch her leave until there is a good enough distance for her to not hear you, and then turn to Lando and give him a glare as you hiss, “I am not ‘your girl’.”

He finally lets out the chuckle he’s been holding as he watches you letting go of his hand with an exaggerated push, and then diverts his amused eyes towards you, “Sure, whatever you say, jealous girl.”

“I am not– I wasn’t jealous!” you exclaim, eyes narrowed. When he starts walking towards the driver’s side, you can’t help but call out, “I’m not jealous!”

Lando is still chuckling to himself when he gets in the car, and even as he starts driving, completely ignoring your whining complaints. “That’s alright, honey,” he says, voice full of condescension, “it was very cute.”

“You are an ass.” You roll your eyes as you cross your arms across your chest. “Maybe I should’ve gotten off when I had the chance, that way you could’ve fucked her in the back seat.”

“Bold of you assume she’s the one I’d want to fuck in my back seat,” he raises an eyebrow, then shrugs “but sure.”

Your face scrunches up in disgust, “You’re, ugh, you’re just the worst, Lando.” Shaking your head in disbelief, you add, “I can’t believe I’m arguing with you over you fucking girls in your car.”

Lando manages to get out a disapproving tut, and then contends, “I never said I’d fuck girls in my car, I’d said I’d rather fuck you in my car.”

Completely baffled by this revelation, not that you should’ve been, you turn to him in disgust, “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” He shrugs again, noncommittally, and without paying you any mind continues to focus on the road.

“Well,” you laugh, breathlessly, “good thing that’s never happening.” Gently clearing your throat, you later can’t help yourself but add a silent, “Again.”

“If you’d rather a bed, that could also be arranged, honey.” Lando assures you, and you realise the little fucker has a smirk growing on his face.

“As if I’d sleep with you willingly,” you scoff.

A boisterous laugh is what you get from Lando, who tilts his head towards you, “Come on, I’m a good-looking bloke.”

“And I’m sure I’ve seen much hotter man,” you sing, but you just can’t remember when. So deciding to block out what Lando is rambling about, you pull out your phone to message someone who has the answer for you.

To lily m + kika: can you tell me someone who is hotter than lando? From lily m: alex From kika: pierre To lily m + kika: ew, be serious please From kika: what about the guy with the accent, from hungary? From lily m: the doctor? To lily m + kika: i think she meant the reporter From lily m: god no he was a creep From lily m: what about the surfer? From kika: oh yeah he was cute too To lily m + kika: i need someone hot, pleaseee From lily m: THE MODEL FROM MILAN From kika: WITH THE ABS From kika: and also porche From lily m: BUT ALSO THE ABS To lily m + kika: okay thanks To lily m + kika: love you guys

Getting lost in the conversation, with the aid of your ambition to prove yourself right and, naturally, Lando wrong, you don’t realise that he’s actually driven you back to his apartment instead of a bar or literally some other place that sells alcohol in that ungodly hour.

“This isn’t a bar.” You point out, eyebrows furrowed.

Lando dignifies your comment with a scoff, “Well aren’t you quite the detective?”

Crossing your arms across your chest, you basically hiss at him this time, “This is basically kidnapping.”

Lando glances at you, a playful glint in his eyes. “Kidnapping? Really? I thought we were just catching up.”

You shoot him a sarcastic look, but can't help the small smile that tugs at your lips. “Yeah, sure. Catching up in the middle of the night at your place.”

He parks the car and turns to face you, a smirk dancing on his lips. “Well, here’s my proposal. I’ll go to my apartment and you’re free to either join me or drive my car back to Daniel’s – I’ll come pick it up tomorrow.”

You hesitate for a moment, considering your options as you watch Lando give you an assuring smile and handing you the keys before getting out of the car. Going back to your brother's place doesn't sound all that appealing, and Lando's offer, as questionable and a bad idea as it may be, seems like the lesser of two evils. Though, there is also the reality that if when you go up to his apartment, you’re probably going to do something that either you or your friends will regret tomorrow morning. Watching Lando’s retreating figure move further into the apartment building, you think, fuck it, it’s fine.

So, you wait for a few minutes, anxiously twirling the car keys in your hand to make him wait – but you’re pretty sure it makes you suffer just as much. You take a deep breath, exhale slowly, and then climb out of the car. Locking it behind you, you follow Lando into the building. The familiar scent of his cologne hits you as you step into the elevator, and a wave of nostalgia washes over you. The elevator ride going up to the second floor is pure torture, and it leaves you squirming in your place the whole time. Basically throwing yourself out of the elevator once it lands on the second floor, you realise that Lando has been waiting for you, standing and smiling at his door.

He gives you a teasing look as you approach, clearly amused by your slightly dishevelled state. “Took you long enough,” he remarks, unlocking the door and holding it open for you. But instead of saying anything or retorting back, you quietly follow him inside his apartment. Lando closes the door behind you, the sound echoing through the quiet apartment. The dim lighting casts a soft glow, creating an intimate atmosphere. The first thing that catches your eye is the helmet collection he keeps in the living room. Without saying anything, you quickly make your way over to the shelves that display the helmets, trying your best to avoid his approaching footsteps behind you. The familiar design of a particular helmet has you instinctively tracing the number at the top, and the arms that hug your waist from behind makes you freeze for a moment. Lando's touch is both familiar and foreign, stirring up a mix of emotions you thought were long buried.

“That's from Monza, 2021,” he says, his voice close to your ear. The warmth of his breath sends a shiver down your spine.

You clear your throat, attempting to regain composure. “I remember,” you reply, your fingers still lingering on the helmet.

For a moment, neither of you speaks. The weight of the past and the uncertainty of the present hangs in the air. Lando breaks the silence, his voice low and measured. “I wasn't sure you'd actually come up.”

You turn to face him, meeting his gaze, but don’t attempt getting out of his arms. “I didn't think so either.”

Without breaking eye contact, he slowly leans in, his lips brushing against yours. It's a tentative touch, a testing of waters, and you find yourself responding to the familiarity of the kiss. The taste of the past lingers, and for a moment, it's as if the years haven't passed. But reality crashes back in, and you pull away, the distance now a necessary boundary. Lando looks at you, a mix of emotions playing on his face. There's longing, regret, and an unspoken acknowledgment of the complexities that bind you.

“I thought we could just catch up,” he says, his tone a mix of apology and yearning.

You turn in your place, facing him. “Catching up was never our strong suit, was it?”

“Not really,” Lando shakes his head, “no.”

You bite down on the corner of your lip, threading your fingers through his curls as you pull his face down to meet yours as you rise on your tiptoes, “It’s a bad idea, right?”

Lando lets out a supportive hum as he lets his lips softly brush against yours, “The worst.” And maybe he should have been the gentleman and pull away, but when he sees your eyes closing, he just leans in further to press his lips against yours – and the way you respond to his kiss? It's as if the world outside ceases to exist. The kiss deepens, each brush of his lips against yours reigniting a long-buried flame. Lando's hands find their way to the small of your back, pulling you closer, erasing the physical space between you.

You don’t complain as he pulls you towards his bedroom, or when he gently throws you on his bed, the anticipation hanging thick in the air. As he hovers over you, the weight of the past and the intensity of the present converge. His hands trace the contours of your face, memorizing every curve as if committing it to memory. And when the two of you get lost between each other within his sheets, the only thing that ends up coming from your mouth is either his name, or some sort of encouragement to keep him going. After he manages to wear you out, Lando decides that you’re definitely not going anywhere as he wraps you in his arms around you. The room is filled with the soft sounds of breaths syncing, hearts beating in tandem. Lando's fingers draw absent patterns on your skin while you check the messages that have accumulated in your phone. The glow of your phone illuminates the dim room, creating a subtle contrast to the warmth that envelops you. Lando's presence beside you adds an extra layer of comfort, a silent acknowledgment of the shared intimacy that unfolded moments ago.

From danny: please tell me you didn’t get kidnapped by the organ mafia From danny: wink twice if you’re alive From danny: this is not funny, where are you? From danny: fine i’ll ask alex to ask lily

Rolling  your eyes before sending him a text to let your brother know you’re okay, you decide to turn your attention to the group chat with Lily and Kika.

From kika: did you get home safe? From lily m: daniel is pretty stressed about it From lily m: please for the love of god tell us you’re home and not with lando right now To lily m + kika: omg just calm down i’m in bed To lily m + kika: and i’m going to sleep To lily m + kika: love you guys

You catch a glimpse of Lando’s grin over your shoulder as you click your phone off, but he only chuckles as he buries his face into your neck as he leaves small kisses to the skin there. “Well, I’m not lying, I just didn’t specify where I was.”

“Or in whose sheets,” his laugher gets louder as you jokingly slap him on the arm, “go to sleep, honey, we’ll be tired in the morning.”

And it might’ve been a bad idea to message him in the first place, but it certainly doesn’t feel like one.

[blackberreh-art]

Old Man Yaoi AU future rambles

I never posted the full thing here, so I thought why not, since I'm struggling to get anything new down lol. Just copy and pasted from twitter, so forgive any weird formatting or errors!

I started this not knowing where I wanted to go with it, just knowing '10 years after being gone from japan, old man yaoi afomight come back because Toshinori has a bleeding heart and AfO is along for the ride' . And I didn't know what I wanted to show exactly, just the comfort and ease at which the two acted with one another.

AfO's gonna join Toshi at the railing and hold out a hand. Knowing what he wants, Toshi's gonna pull out a pack of cigarettes and let AfO take one.

"I don't know why I still carry these." Toshi says, watching as AfO lights the cigarette with a flicker of a stolen fire quirk. "

Habit." AfO says. "The lingering effects of the leash around my neck. Does it bother you?"

All Might quirks a brow. "What? The fact that I have to carry your shit for you, even now?"

AfO chuckles. That wasn't what he meant, and Toshi knows it. That's answer enough really - the experiments, the chip in his brain (even now long destroyed), the torture that AfO went through at the hands of the HPSC - of course it still bothered Toshi.

Coming back to japan…

It's weighing on Toshi. He's here to help his former students, even though he's retired officially as a hero. Vigilantism is still frowned upon, but no-one has the balls to tell All Might to keep to the sidelines, especially now that he has a few quirks on his side. And AfO. And isn't that funny? AfO has stated many times that he refuses to lend a hand. Toshi's alright with that. He's alright with the company alone. He still marvels at the fact that AfO still kept himself leashed to-

(Guilt, self hatred, Toshi still hasn't let them go. His former enemy could throw him that crooked grin that he'd hated so much in the past and Toshi would just melt these days.)

Toshi let out a heavy breath. Being back here… it was making it so much harder to rationalize his thoughts. His emotions. AfO stood by his side through all the meetings, appearing bored out of his mind and throwing in many a snide remark, and Toshi looked at him and thought 'I should hate this man.'

He didn't, though. The heroes, his former students scurried around the former demon lord like he was going to snap at any minute. Tenko refused to be in the same city as him. Izuku and Katsuki watched AfO with a single minded determination to put him down before he can even think to make a move, and only Toshi knew that AfO really had no intention to shatter the tentative truce in place.

Only Toshi knew AfO had other plans. He always had other plans. Some Toshi knew the details of, some he didn't, and there was a time when that would have terrified him. 15 years to spend together, through danger after danger…

Toshi knew AfO.

The doubts, when they appeared, didn't last.

"Does it bother you?" Toshi tossed the question back, and AfO paused, cigarette to his lips. Hazy white eyes drift to meet Toshi's, and the former hero marvels at just how easy it was to read AfO now.

AfO was disgruntled.

"Yes, and no." AfO said. "I don't care about your little students." A pause, and AfO's eyes gain a focus that has Toshi's hackles raising. "Hm. No, I suppose I do. But not because they all fear me or I feel any guilt for what I did to them."

A long time ago, Toshi would have flinched. He didn't even bat an eye now, even as he thought of Tenko and the sheer torment that All for One put that boy through.

(Guilt, guilt, guilt...)

"No, your one boy... Izuku Midoriya." AfO's gaze dropped focus again, his form relaxing when Toshi didn't bite at him defensively at the sound of his former students name. Toshi stood there, listening. "Or rather, One for All. And my brother."

Toshi hummed. His focus is intent. "Are you going to try taking it back again?"

AfO didn't look at him. Eyes unfocused again, cigarette dangling from between his fingers, burning away without being used. Toshi waited patiently. "... I said I would not." All for One finally said as he came back to himself. There's a tension to his mouth now. He's unhappy about it. "Your trust was hard enough to earn as it was. However..."

AfO is in Toshi's personal space now, a wall of heat pushing back the encroaching chill of the evening. Toshi braced a hand against the railing and shifted to face him, brow quirked. AfO always did like to crowd when he wanted to make a point or had something important to say.

"Do you remember what I said to you that last night we were here?" There's that crooked grin again, charming and threatening and so very well practiced. "When you played at hero when you didn't need to? When you were bleeding out and I had to carry you to safety?"

Toshi swallowed a sudden lump in his throat. "When - yes, what are you getting at?"

AfO finally brings the cigarette to his lips and takes a lazy drag. Smoke curls through the air, and Toshi breaths it in with shiver, remembering a time when he would have doubled over, unable to breathe.

"I can't fault you for being a hero." AfO said. "It's who you are at your core. You're the perfect hero, and I so utterly adore that. You're here to help, because of course you are, you're All Might."

Even when praising him it sounds condescending.

"But I want you to remember what I told you then." AfO flicked the cigarette carelessly to the ground and crushed it under the heel of his shoe. "About what will happen if your heroism gets the best of you, and you end up killing yourself."

At that, Toshi winced. Ah.

(a preview of THAT is this)

(imagine Toshi's head in AfO's lap after being shot by the president of the HPSC lmao...)

AfO's smile is all threat. "If you let your heroism get the best of you, and you end up killing yourself, then know that there is nothing left to prevent me from completing my initial goals and taking One for All for myself."

It wasn't the healthiest of ultimatums.

But it was one Toshi remembered laughing at after hearing it for the first time. Live, because if not then AfO would turn back into the supervillain he was at heart? 'Live, or else I kill everything you hold dear?' He'd thought it was kind of sweet. Hadn't wanted to question why.

Still doesn't want to question why. Even now, he finds it kind of sweet. Knows its... messed up.

He smiles at All for One, feeling warm. "Don't worry about me. I don't plan on dying anytime soon."

"Good boy." All for One croons, and his arms snake around Toshi's waist.

They stand together in silence for a moment, and the evening sky deepens around them. AfO breaks the silence. "I feel you should know it's actually quite difficult to behave. I'm showing remarkable restraint."

Toshi snorts against AfO's neck, muffling his laughter. "Good boy."

[kindlyduhh]

A Greedy Heart pt.1

You can also read it on my ao3 page !!

Content warnings: fem!reader, fluff, gets suggestive towards the end

Word count: 4.5K

Mammon has been thinking about confeesing to you about his feeling but just cant find the right time. After some miscommunications he finally finds the guts the say what was on his mind...

Once again, it was a typical day in the devildom and you and Mammon were spending time together in your room. He was sitting on your bed and you were laying next to him.

You loved hanging out with mammon, his presence calms you down and you were happy that mammon also tried to hang out with you even though he acts nonchalant as he tried to seem like he didn't care, but you always saw through him, how much he’d blush every time you agree to hang out, and it is truly adorable.

Normally you guys would just joke around or mammon would make a plan to steal Lucifer's credit card again, but he was unusually quiet today just scrolling on his D.D.D.

You could clearly see that mammon wanted to say something that was on his mind since he kept glancing at you, but he wasn't saying anything. 

“Mammon, are you alright?” knowing that if you don't ask him directly, he definitely wouldn't talk about whatever was bothering him.

“Yea, I'm fine…” he huffs while ruffling his beautiful white hair.

The whole day, he seemed unusually distant, casting frequent glances your way with a grumpy expression. It was obvious that something was bugging him, but he was being stubborn as usual. 

“Oh c'mon mammon, I know something is up… I promise I won't judge you or anything like that.” you said in a reassuring tone, his eyes softened ever so slightly.

You could see that he was struggling to express himself, as people had belittled him every time he voiced his thoughts, calling him a scumbag or a money grubber. It pained your heart to witness his struggle.

Mammon didn't understand why you were this kind. You were so gentle and caring, which was a thing he wasn't used to. 

He got used to your affection so much since the day that you came to devildom that when you weren't around; he felt alone and jealous every time you hung out with the other brothers, which was a feeling he hated.

Mammon's heart pounded in his chest as he tried to find the courage to express his feelings. He had been holding them in for so long, but it was becoming harder and harder to keep them hidden. 

Every time he looked at you, his heart ached with the unsaid words. He knew he had to speak up, but the fear of rejection and judgment held him back.

"Ugh, I dunno..." Mammon started to speak while fidgeting with his hands, but before he could finish, Levi suddenly burst into the room without bothering to knock on the door.

 “Yo y/n, the game that we were waiting for is out! c’mon let's go, we have to play it now.” Levi says enthusiastically. You and Levi were waiting for this game for a really long time and you have promised him that you would play it together.

Mammon was filled with a mix of disappointment and anger as Levi interrupted, but he tried to keep his facial expressions neutral. "Great, just great. " He couldn't shake off the regret and frustration that he had almost let himself be vulnerable.

"Levi, can you wait just for a second? I'll be in your room in a minute, okay?" You slightly get up from the bed and glance at Mammon, noticing that he was clearly irritated that Levi entered the room just when he was about to speak. 

“Oh c'mon y/n, if we don't start playing now, we might miss the free gacha pulls, and it's not like you guys are doing anything, right?” Levi explains, it's clear that he isn't gonna give up.

As Mammon slowly got up from your bed, you could sense his emotional walls building up again, his attempt to act nonchalant.

“Hey where are you going? You were gonna say something, right?” trying to convince mammon to stay, but when your eyes met with his, you could see the disappointment and regret in his eyes. You get even more confused by his actions.

“It's nothin really, ya guys can play your games or whatever… I need to go somewhere, anyway.” Mammon tries to smile as he masks away his feelings.

Your heart breaks at how cold he is being. He wasn't even looking at you anymore. You start to feel even more anxious overthinking everything you did today.

Mammon murmurs under his breath “bye then…” He quickly leaves your room, not even giving you a chance to say goodbye.

You try to act like you are fine. “Well, let's play our game right.” You sigh while smiling at Levi since you didn't want to worry him about anything. He nods and starts walking to his room while talking about how excited he was about the game as you try not to think about mammon.

⋆⋅⛧⋅⋆

It was midnight now, the dim light of the devildom brightening the room ever so slightly as you say goodnight to Levi. He was accustomed to staying up late, so you knew he'd likely keep playing the game.

You had a headache, so you held the bridge of your nose to relieve it slightly, but it didn't work. Your mind wandered about mammon the whole night and you couldn't even focus on the game anymore.

You anxiously walk through the corridor while thinking about going to mammon’s room. You weren't sure if he was awake or this was a good idea, but you were seriously worried if you said something to upset him and the worrying was eating you every minute passing by.

You finally come to his room just waiting in front of the door anxiously to have some courage to knock on the door. You could hear your heart beating in your whole body and you think to yourself why you were this nervous. 

You sigh and finally knock on the door with shaky hands. As you wait in front of the door, you get even more self conscious about what you were doing. This was a mistake, and you were probably gonna wake mammon in the middle of the night for nothing. 

You slightly get relieved when he doesn't open the door. Of course, he was sleeping. It was really late. As you turn away and make your way to your room, you pick up on the faint sound of a door opening.

“Y/n… what are ya doin here?” Mammon says, his voice sounds sleepy. You curse yourself under your breath for waking him up for something so stupid.

You turned to him to apologize, but froze the moment you saw him. Your eyes open wider and you can feel your face heating up. 

He was only wearing gray sweatpants, leaving his toned, bare chest exposed to the dim moonlight. The sight was mesmerizing as you tried to tear your gaze away, but your eyes were glued to his sculpted form. You gulped and tried to not look at him like a creep, looking everywhere but him as you blushed harder.

And that's when he realized that he wasn't wearing any shirt. His face started to get even redder than yours somehow as he cleared his throat. “S-sorry I just woke up… I'll go put on a shirt”

Without thinking, you grab his arm to stop him. Noticing his shocked expression, you quickly release his arm, feeling awkward as you stand fidgeting with your hands.

“U-um, it's fine. I shouldn't even come here. I'm sorry for waking you. It's nothing important. You should just go to sleep,” you say awkwardly while looking down. You couldn't even look at his face because of how embarrassed you are.  

Mammon feels slightly upset about the way you were hiding your face, even though it's been just a few hours since he already missed seeing your beautiful face. 

His arm was still tingling from your touch. Just from that quick contact, he felt himself melting as he bit his bottom lip.

“Nah, it's fine, I'm awake now so ya might as well say it right” He scratched the back of his neck as he gestured to you to come to his room.

Mammon thought of you the entire night as he tried to sleep. He was so jealous of Levi since he got to spend some time with you.

His stomach twisted the entire night, his imagination consumed by the sight of you and Levi sitting next to each other closely. It should be him next to you, not Levi or any of his brothers. He was your first demon, not them.

And to his luck, he heard you knocking on the door. When he saw your face, the relief he felt made him feel like he can finally breathe again.

He slowly walked to his couch and grabbed the shirt laying down there. He quickly put on the shirt, not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable. 

While wearing his shirt, he caught you glancing at his abs. He wasn't sure if you were checking him out, but the thought of it made his heart beat faster.

You both plump onto the couch. There is an awkward energy in the air. You both stay quiet for a bit, then you awkwardly clear your throat.

“Did I said something that upset you?” you blurt out suddenly while looking down at the floor.

Mammon looks confused, not understanding why you would ask that. You never said something that upset him, hell it was the opposite all the time.

Mammon felt a pang of unease when you refused to meet his gaze. He yearned for your attention, craving the way your eyes would light up as you looked at him. "Hey, why are ya asking that? Of course ya didn't," he reiterated, trying to catch your gaze. 

"What made ya think that, anyway?" His heart ached as he longed for the connection he had with you, the way you always gave him your undivided attention and made his stomach do flips.

You ran your hand through your hair out of frustration, realizing you sounded a bit foolish. "Umm... I'm not sure," you began, trying to find the right words. "You just seemed off today, and you stormed off when Levi came to my room. I was worried I did something wrong." 

Your voice trailed off as you exhaled, feeling a bit embarrassed by how insignificant your worries seemed now that you said them out loud.

Mammon's heart sank when he realized that he had made you worried. He curses himself for being such an idiot. There you were worrying for him and all it was because he was foolishly scared of your reaction.

“Oi c’mon will ya look at me.” he huffs. There is a tint of worry in his voice as he speaks. The only thing he wants is for you to understand you didn't do anything wrong.

As you finally met his gaze, something in the air shifted. You noticed a glimmer of vulnerability in his golden eyes that made your heart skip a beat. His usual cockiness was nowhere to be seen, replaced by a rare moment of sincerity.

“Ya didn't do anything wrong, ya dummy. Ya don't need to worry about me.” He reached out his hand to gently brush a strand of hair away from your face, his touch sending a shiver down your spine. 

Your breath hitched as Mammon's hand made gentle contact with your hair, grazing your skin softly. The brief touch sent a jolt through your body, making you dizzy with a newfound craving for more.

His touch felt incredibly soft and tender, and you found yourself subconsciously leaning into it, silently wanting more of the sensation. As he spoke, his words seemed to get lost in your mind, overpowered by the overwhelming feeling of butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

Your voice quivered as you spoke, expressing your concern for Mammon. "But I do worry about you," you said, your words laced with a hint of desperation. 

"If you talk to me, maybe I can help you somehow. Did Lucifer lecture you again, or is it those witches bothering you?" You hoped that he would finally open up and let you in, to allow you to at least try to comfort him‌.

Mammon felt a pang of guilt as he heard the desperation in your voice. He didn’t mean to make you worry, but he couldn’t bring himself to admit the real reason behind his sour mood.

“Aw, ya worry too much about me, ya know that?” he tried to deflect, flashing a cocky smile. “I’m a tough demon, ya know? Nothin’ can get me down.”

This is typical Mammon behavior of trying to hide his feelings and act nonchalant, even though he’s actually touched by your worry about him.

Your frustration was evident as you let out a sigh, not swayed by Mammon's attempts to dismiss your concern. Surprisingly, a newfound boldness washed over you, and you reached out, gently grasping his hand in a reassuring grip. You held it firmly, trying to convey your care through your touch.

"Mammon, it's okay to admit when you're feeling down or upset. You don't always have to put on a tough act, especially not with me. I care about you, and I want to understand what's been bothering you."

Mammon's eyes widened slightly, clearly surprised by your honesty. He hadn't expected you to be so direct about it. He hesitated for a moment, not used to talking about his feelings or problems, but the genuine concern in your voice made him feel like he couldn't keep you in the dark anymore.

He let out a deep sigh, his shoulders drooping slightly. "It's not Lucifer or the witches," he muttered, looking away from you. "I actually…" He paused, taking a moment to gather his thoughts. 

Mammon takes a deep breath, preparing himself to reveal what's been on his mind. "There's something I've been wanting to talk to ya about," he begins, his tone a bit hesitant.

Your heart skips a beat, anticipation swelling within you. Whatever it is Mammon wanted to talk about, it seems serious. You brace yourself, ready to listen intently.

He fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, clearly nervous about what he was about to say.

"But I'm not good with this kind of stuff, ya know? Talking about feelings and whatnot." He chuckled weakly.

As you gently squeezed his hand, Mammon felt a shiver run down his spine. The feeling of your soft touch on his skin was like electricity coursing through his body, filling him with an inexplicable sense of comfort and excitement. 

It was as if your touch alone had the power to calm his nerves and give him the courage to finally say what was on his mind. With a deep breath, he gathered his thoughts and found the courage to speak.

Mammon took a deep breath, his heart still racing as he looked at you with a mixture of vulnerability and determination.

“I…” he began, but the words got stuck in his throat. He let out a shaky exhale and tried again. “Promise me ya won’t laugh, okay?”

You ran your thumb over his knuckles gently, trying to reassure him that it was okay to open up to you. “I swear on my life I won't laugh Mammon” trying to show how serious you were about his feelings.

He looks at you intently, his expression a mix of emotions."You know how I’m always calling you my human, right?" he starts, his voice a bit shaky.

He looks away for a moment, his eyes darting around the room before finally meeting yours again."And how I always want to be around you and want your attention?" he continues, fidgeting with his shirt hem again.

Oh. OH. Your heart skipped a beat as Mammon mentioned how he always wants to be around you and wants your attention. A wave of realization washed over you, and you started to piece together what he was trying to say.

Your mind races as you process his words, feeling a mix of emotions. Part of you is surprised by Mammon's vulnerability, as he's usually so guarded and closed off. Another part of you is thrilled, the idea that Mammon might be confessing his feelings to you, stirring up a whirlwind of excitement and nervousness.

Mammon takes a deep breath and looks directly into your eyes, his expression a mixture of nervousness and determination.

"I've been trying to figure out how to say this, but I'll just say it straight out." He paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts and mustering his courage.

"I... I like ya, okay? Like a lot. And not in the ‘friend’ way, but in the ‘I can’t stop thinkin’ about ya, miss ya when yer not around, wanna spend all my time with ya’ kinda way."

Mammon's stomach twists as he confesses. He can't believe he actually said it. The intrusive thoughts start spinning in his mind as he feels his heart beat getting faster. What if you didn't like him? If so, would this ruin the relationship you had with him?

He feels dizzy as he waits for your response while still feeling like he made a mistake by opening up to you. What if he lost you because of his confession? Why couldn't he be content with just your friendship? Why did he have to be so greedy?

As these thoughts pass around his mind, you gently put your hand on his cheek. There is a tint of redness on your face. He can barely see it under the dim moonlight. “You like me… you mean it?” your voice trembling slightly. You felt your heart beat getting faster at his words.

You never thought that Mammon would confess one day. Of course, you both acted flirty from time to time, but whenever it felt too serious or real, he find a way to get away from the situation, acting like he had no feelings towards you. 

Mammon's voice trembles, “I umm… I-I do mean it alright…”. His face is fully red now as he tries to not meet your gaze. He huffs while scratching the back of his neck, clearly frustrated about being this vulnerable.

“I-Its ‘kay if ya don't feel the same ı just… gahh i dunno I thought I should tell ya or somethin’ I know I'm being an idiot now so it's fine if ya wanna leave or whatever…” He mumbles under his breath, glancing at you just for a second. The way he looks at you with a glint of desperation, like you are gonna leave him for being vulnerable.

You put both of your hands on Mammon’s cheeks, forcing him to look into your eyes. His eyes widen as you get slightly closer to his face. “Mammon, you're not being an idiot… and ı would never leave you, okay…” you whisper while caressing his cheek gently.

He closes his eyes as he feels your touch. It's so soft and tender and he feels dizzy from the sensation. Without realizing, he nuzzles to your hand as he sighs.

He looks so beautiful between your hands, his eyes closed. He looks like a painting as his white hair slightly glows under the dim moonlight. And you finally find the courage to say what is in your heart.

“I-I like you too Mammon… like a lot. Every time I look at you, my heart starts to beat faster like it's gonna burst out of my chest,” you whisper, your voice trembling as you speak.

Mammon quickly opens his eyes when he hears your word. Did you say you liked him? No way you said that right. Did you say it back because you didn't want to upset him?

“Ya do? are ya sure bout it… ya don't have to say it back just because you don't want to upset me or whatever yer thinking, ‘key.” He mumbles under his breath. Barely meeting your gaze.

You tilt his head to face you gently, wanting to convince him about your feelings. “Of course I'm sure mams… ı wouldn't lie about my feelings, especially to you. I like you so much that I want to be next to you all the time… ı love your smile, ı love talking to you, I love that when you get excited about something you get even louder,” you chuckle "and I love you Mammon…”

His brain stops for a second. The way you talk about him is so sweet as he melts at your every word. He is not used to this type of tenderness and he might get addicted to it if you keep going like this.

As Mammon's brain processes the words you just spoke, his heart fills with a mixture of shock and happiness. 

It's like the weight of the world has been lifted off his shoulders after expressing his feelings for you, and now, hearing you say you feel the same... he can't contain his emotions any longer.

He gazes intently into your eyes, his breathing shaky as he leans closer to you.

"Can I...?" he whispers, his gaze flickering down to your lips 

You nod as your voice shivers “yeah…” your heart is beating faster and faster while he places his hands on your cheek and finally closes that little gap between you two.

As his lips gently met yours, a rush of sensations washed over you. It was a sweet and tender kiss, full of longing and desire. Mammon's hand trembled gently against your cheek as he deepened the kiss, pulling you closer with his other hand.

He couldn't believe this was happening. He felt even more dizzy as your hands wandered around his body. Your soft hand gliding against his hair made him feel euphoric as you deepened the kiss.

You were kissing him with a hunger even you didn't know existed. The way you were kissing him with such a fervor was driving mammon crazy as he was getting more worked up every second.

His hand went to your soft hair, tangling between his fingers as he kept kissing you. The sound you made when he tugged on your hair made his whole body shiver. Your sweet sound felt like music to his ears, and he was getting more greedy for you.

You felt yourself heating up with every touch, losing every sense, only wanting to feel him more. You gently pushed him back onto the couch without breaking the kiss. With a swift move, you swing your leg over his legs, straddling his lap, and pinning him down on the couch.

Mammon's eyes widened in surprise as you straddled him on the couch, pushing him back against the cushions. He looked up at you in a mixture of shock and excitement, his grip on your waist tightening as he tried to keep his composure.

He was blushing hard by your sudden bolt move as he held you by your waist carefully, not wanting for you to accidentally fall down.

His heart was racing, and he could feel your heat pressed against him. It was driving him crazy, and he couldn't help but let out a low moan as you positioned yourself on top of him.

His grip on your waist tightened slightly as he looked up at you, his expression a mix of surprise and desire. "Wh-what are ya doin?" he managed to stutter out, his voice shaky.

His breathless voice makes you come to your senses, and you realize what you are doing. “Uhh… s-sorry I can get up if you want…” you say breathlessly as you hold on to him by his shoulders.

Mammon's heart skips a beat at your sudden concern. Despite his surprise, he can't deny that he loves the feeling of you on top of him. He shakes his head gently, his hand still firmly holding your hip.

Mammon shakes his head, his grip on your waist not loosening. "No, no...it's okay," he says, his voice still shaky. He swallows, his adam's apple bobbing as he gazes up at you. "I... I don't want you to get up," he adds, a hint of pleading in his voice.

He swallows hard, his gaze still fixed on you. There is a hint of vulnerability in his eyes as he looks up at you, silently hoping that you won't leave.

He can feel the heat radiating from your body, the way your chest is rising and falling against his as you try to catch your breath. He glances down at your legs, straddling him, and a pang of desire shoots through his body.

His hands slid from your waist, down to your hips, and he gently pulled you closer to him.

“Ya look beautiful like this…” he whispered as his thumbs started to draw circles on your hips.

You whimpered softly as his hand traced down to your thighs. The voice you made snapped something in him and he started to kiss you roughly, like you were the last thing he was gonna taste.

You started to grind your hips on him to get some type of friction. The sensation made him realize how much he needed to feel you. He holds you by your hips tightly as he tries to feel you more.

You started to kiss his jaw and slowly go down to his neck as you kept moving your hips. You could feel his hardness fully now and you could feel yourself getting wetter every second passing by.

You start to nibble on his neck, leaving a tiny mark there and your hand moves to the hem of his shirt. You looked at him with your eyes full of lust as you asked “can i… take it off…” you gulped as you tried to catch your breath.

You wanting to take his shirt off made him feel like he was in the clouds. He quickly takes his shirt off with a one swift move, leaving his chest bare.

The way you were looking at him with hunger in your eyes, biting your lips as you checked him out with no shame… It was too much. He was gonna lose control if you kept this up.

“y/n i… are ya sure bout this… it's fine if you don't wanna keep goin’ alright” he said wanting to reassure you it was okay if you wanted to stop before it was too late.

You loved how sweet and caring he truly was. Making sure you were comfortable before doing anything else. You gently caressed his cheek. "I'm sure mams… i don't wanna stop… but it's fine if you want to…” you say.

Mammon felt a wave of relief wash over him as you reassured him that you wanted to continue. His heart was racing as he looked up at you, his eyes full of desire.

He gazes up at you for a moment, his eyes locking with yours, and he lets out a shaky sigh. "No… I don't wanna stop… I don't think I could even if I tried…" he says with a hint of desperation in his voice.

He caressed your hips, his hands grasping with a possessiveness that betrayed his growing desperation. “Just… tell me if ya want me to stop... a’right.”

You smiled gently as you caressed his cheek “I don't want to stop mammon… i dont think i can hold on much longer…”

Divider by:@cafekitsune

[lovegoodlane]

Pursuing the Prefect- 3

3.7k words

Warnings: mentions of sex, teasing, oral sex [female receiving], fingering

Summary: Fred and his prefect continue to grow closer, but their relationship grows tense when he suggests a public date (soft Fred, dom (ish) Fred)

Author's note: Here's another part! I'm trying to build up a storyline in case y'all want this short fic to continue. Enjoy <3

Link to part 1, part 2

----

Another week at Hogwarts had passed. You had spent a bit of time with Fred, sneaking kisses in empty classrooms and even spending Saturday night curled up on a blanket at the quidditch pitch. It was nothing official yet, but you were enjoying getting to know him.

It was already Thursday. The weeks were passing by in a blur. As a Sixth Year, you were focused on studying as much as you could before taking the entrance exams for an Upper School program in potions. It was difficult to get in, so you spent much of your free time cramming as much information into your brain as possible.

You walked to dinner with Cho and Beatrice, chatting about the Winter Ball coming up next month. Beatrice had been talking your ear off about Oliver Wood for the past week, and she was hoping that he would ask her to be his date.

"He's so dreamy," Beatrice swooned. "If he doesn't ask me to be his date, I might use a curse on him."

"Do you talk about anything other than Wood?" Cho snapped, clearly annoyed.

Cho's relationship with Cedric Diggory had been on the rocks. She had a bit of a jealous streak, and watching other girls fawn over Cedric got on her nerves. They'd been arguing about it nonstop for the past month.

"Cho, leave her alone," you said defensively. "She's allowed to be chuffed about Wood. You were the same with Diggory. I get that you're brassed off, but that's not Bea's fault."

Cho glared at you, huffing. She knew you were right. "Who are you going with? Seems like Adrian is your only option," she said, veering the conversation topic away from herself.

"I'm definitely not going with Adrian," you said empathically. "I don't need to have a date, I'm not worried about it."

"Maybe Fred will ask you," Beatrice teased, nudging you. "He seems pretty fond of you."

"I'd rather go to the ball with a toad than Fred Weasley," Cho asserted.

"Godric Cho, pull the stick out of your arse, will you?" you said, clearly irritated with her. 

You still hadn't filled Cho in about your situation with Fred. The only thing she would do is make snarky remarks and tell you that it's a bad idea. She was too worried about her squeaky clean reputation to see any value in associating with the Weasley twins. It pissed you off.

"I think I'm actually going to skip out on dinner, I'll grab something from the kitchen elves later. I want to get a start on my Potions assignment," you said as you had reached the Great Hall.

It was just an excuse to not have to sit through dinner with Cho. You could barely stand her recently, and taking some space felt like a good decision. 

Beatrice squeezed your hand in a goodbye, and Cho only shrugged and rolled her eyes. You turned to head for the library, wanting some peace and quiet after dealing with Cho's attitude.

You were only paces from the library when you ran in to the Weasley twins. 

"Hey birdie," Fred greeted you. "Heading back into your abyss?"

"My abyss?" you questioned.

"The library," he said matter-of-factly. "They should give you a cot so you can sleep there, would save you a trip to your dormitory."

"Have you two even seen the inside of the library? Or do your pranks occupy too much of your time?" you asked, crossing your arms and jutting out a hip. You raised your eyebrows at them expectantly.

George chuckled, enjoying the attitude that you were hurling at his brother. Very few people had the guts to stand up to Fred.

"You can show me if you'd like," Fred retorted, stepping closer to you. "Though I can't promise that I'll be much interested in doing homework, if you know what I mean."

You bit the inside of your cheek. These flirty showdowns were routine between you two, but somehow it was more embarrassing when someone was watching. Like George. But that didn't mean that you were going to let Fred win.

"I would be willing to tutor you again, Merlin knows that your grades need it," you said, closing the space between you and Fred. You reached for his tie, playing with the end. "It'll cost you, though."

George cleared his throat, an attempt at reminding you two that he was still there. It didn't matter though, both of you were locked in to this battle.

"Name a price, darling," Fred muttered, his hands ghosting underneath your robes and finding a place on your hips. 

You looked up at him, trying to soften your gaze to appear innocent. You were going to put the nail into his coffin.

You stood on your toes so you could whisper in his ear. "I keep having a dream where you bend me over a desk in Potions class. That sounds like a sufficient payment to me."

You nipped at his ear before pulling away, grinning at him sweetly as if you hadn't just whispered something filthy in his ear. Fred stared at you, a slight blush in his cheeks in response to your words. He still wasn't used to your boldness.

"Are you two going to shag in the hallway or what?" George piped up, causing his twin to turn around and give him a slap to the chest. 

"We were on our way to dinner. And I am still very hungry, in case you have forgotten," George said, directing his last sentence at Fred. It was a not so subtle reminder for him to keep things moving. 

"Did you have dinner already?" Fred asked after giving George a glare.

"No," you responded. "I was going to get something from the kitchen elves later."

"Then why don't we do that," Fred proposed. "George, you can go on to dinner. I'm sure you won't miss me."

George shrugged and offered you a wave before he headed off in the direction of the Great Hall. You hadn't been intending to spend your evening with Fred, but you could think of worse things you could be doing instead. Like sitting through dinner with Cho.

"The kitchen elves love me," Fred said sarcastically. "You'll have to do your prefect sweet talking to get them to hand over the goods."

——

After getting some sustenance from the kitchen elves, you and Fred ended up back in his dormitory. He wanted to show you the music player that Hermione had gotten him for his birthday last year. It was Muggle technology, and he found it incredibly fascinating.

"What is it called again?" you asked as you settled onto his bed. You propped yourself up with a pillow, waiting for him to work the music player.

"I think Hermione called it a record player," he replied, fiddling with the machine. "You have to put these records on it to make it play music."

He held up a few of the records in his collection. To you, they just looked like big black discs. 

Fred finally settled on a record and put it on the machine, adjusting the volume. It was something you had never heard before.

"This is from a band called Mother Mother," Fred explained. "Hermione says that they're pretty edgy."

He finally joined you on the bed, leaning up on the wall behind him. You both sat there listening to the music for a bit, content without conversation.

"I've been wondering..." Fred started, looking over at you.

"Oh no," you teased. You jokingly put your head in your hands.

"I haven't even said it yet, you git," Fred replied, pulling your hands from your face. You grinned at him, and he grinned back.

"I wanted to know how you started dating Pucey in the first place," he said.

You breathed out. You knew that Fred was curious about your relationship with Adrian. Everyone at Hogwarts knew that you were dating last year, and it took most people by surprise when they found out that you had broken up.

"Adrian's dad is my dad's boss," you answered. "We've gone on holiday together every year since we were kids. The summer before 5th year, he suddenly fancied me. That's pretty much it, I guess."

"That's it?" Fred questioned. "You didn't put him through trial after trial like you're doing to me?"

He flicked at your thigh, emphasizing his teasing. 

"Adrian was different. I was younger then, less experienced. And no one had been interested in me before," you said. 

"There's no way that can be true," Fred said, adjusting his position on the bed. "You've always been pretty. I'm sure lots of blokes have fancied you."

"If they did, none of them told me," you replied, letting out a dry chuckle. This topic was a bit of a sore spot for you. You had always felt like you weren't pretty enough, as you hadn't drawn the attention of the boys like some of the other girls at Hogwarts. But this insecurity subsided a bit as you got older. Who needed attention from a boy when you could have good grades?

You and Fred sat in silence for a moment. He seemed to be thinking about what to say next. 

"Of all of the blokes at Hogwarts, you chose a Slytherin?" Fred asked, half joking and half serious.

You slapped at him. "I don't care what House someone is in. I dated Adrian because he fancied me, and I was tired of all of my friends having boyfriends. Adrian is smart, and he's good looking. And whether you like to admit it or not, he's cracking at quidditch."

"Cracking is a bit of an overstatement," Fred replied. "Did you even fancy Pucey then?"

You shrugged. "I liked the companionship. We had always been friends. It wasn't difficult to turn it into something more. And I wanted to keep up with everyone else at Hogwarts who was snogging and shagging anyone they could get their hands on. Adrian felt like a safe option."

"So it sounds like you never really liked him," Fred said, leaning his head on your shoulder.

"I liked him, but I didn't love him," you answered. "He really loved me. And I still feel bad about that. But I just....my heart wasn't in it."

"Is that why you broke up?" he asked.

"Part of it. He wanted things to get more serious. Slytherin pureblood families are really intense about dating and marriage, and he wanted to consider next steps. I wasn't ready, and I wanted to focus on academics," you said. "I didn't want to break his heart. And I know that he still really cares about me, but I'm not cut out for a life like that."

"What, you mean that you don't want to be the next Narcissa Malfoy? I can't imagine why not," Fred teased, poking at your side. 

"Shut it," you replied, slapping at his hand. "I'm not made to be a pureblood trophy wife who pops out perfect pureblood babies. I want a career."

"That makes sense," Fred said. "You've got enough brains to do anything. So what would you want to do?"

"I want to go to Upper School for Potions," you said. Every time you talked about it, it sounded far away and impossible. "I don't know where I'll go from there. I could make potions for hospitals. Or maybe I'll teach, I'm not sure."

"You'll be cracking at teaching," Fred said, a smile stretching across his face. "My marks in Potions were way better when you tutored me."

A slower song started to play from the record player, and Fred popped up onto his feet. He extended a hand toward you.

"Dance with me?" he asked, giving you a wink.

You tried to fight the smile that started to spread across your lips, but it was too late. You accepted his hand, wiggling off the bed and joining him.

He guided you to the center of his dormitory, placing one of your hands on his shoulder and holding the other. His hand found its way down to your waist.

You began swaying together to the music. It was a bit awkward and clumsy at first, but after a bit, it felt romantic.

"Do you have a date to the Winter Ball yet?" Fred asked.

"Wouldn't you like to know," you teased him, squinting your eyes and scrunching your nose.

"I would actually, because I'd like you to be my date," he said.

"I'll have to think about it," you replied, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of an easy "yes".

"What, do you need a grand gesture?" he asked, squeezing your hip. A lopsided grin was on his lips. 

"The only thing I need is time to think about it," you replied, cocking your head slightly at him.

You leaned your head onto his chest, finally closing the small gap between the two of you. You stayed like this for at least one whole song.

"Birdie?" Fred said, a question clearly on the horizon.

"Yes, Fred?" you replied, your cheek still pressed against his chest.

"We don't have to talk about it if you're not ready, but it's something to consider," he started.

"You're making me nervous," you said, pulling back so you could look up at him.

"No, it's nothing to be nervous about," he soothed. "I wanted to talk about next steps. Y'know, what you're comfortable with and what you're not."

"What do you mean?" you asked.

"Well....we seem to have a comfort level. We snog, mess around a bit. But I wanted to see how you feel about anything more," he said. "And I don't want this to feel like I'm pressuring you, I want to know so I don't overstep."

You could feel your cheeks heating up. Talking about sex in any context made you feel a bit flustered. At least Fred was being polite about it.

"Uhm...well...I'm not sure," you answered. "It feels like a big step."

"I know, birdie," Fred said, his hand moving to your back to rub soothing circles. "There's no rush. I want us to be able to talk about these things if we're going to keep seeing each other."

"Right..." you said, still feeling a bit sheepish. "I just...Adrian and I had sex, but that was only after he said that he loved me. I'm not sure that I'm made for casual hookups like some other people are."

"And that's absolutely okay," Fred replied. "I don't need to shag to know how much I like you."

You looked up at Fred. He was staring at you with those soft eyes again. His patience and willingness to communicate only made him more attractive to you. 

You put your hands on either side of his face, standing on your toes to kiss him. His hands found your waist, pulling you in as close as possible.

Your kisses were sweet, and it felt like Fred was reassuring you that he didn't just see you as a shag. His feelings were genuine and his intentions were pure. Well....pure might not be the best word, but his intentions were good.

Your hands found their way down to his shirt collar, and you tugged at it. You pulled him back towards his bed, pushing him back onto it. You straddled him like you had the very first time you were in his dormitory. 

He kept kissing you, his hands wandering up your thighs. Everywhere he touched felt like an electric shock, and you were dying for more. 

"Freddie?" you said, interrupting your make out session.

"Yes?" he replied, a tad breathless. 

"I need you to eat me out," you commanded, looking him dead in the eye.

Fred smirked. "Your wish is my command, birdie."

He flipped you on your back, propping your head up on his pillows. He resumed kissing you, biting at your lower lip while his hands gripped at your thighs.

Fred worked his way down, undoing your tie and unbuttoning your shirt in what felt like seconds. Your cheeks flushed as he took in your light pink bra. You hadn't considered that Fred would see you bra when you put it on this morning, otherwise you would have chosen something different. 

"Pink? I love it," Fred commented with a smirk. He kissed along your collarbones and down to your chest, leaving a love bite between your boobs. 

He made his way down to the top of your skirt. "I think the skirt is going to stay on this time."

His words were enough to make you want to clench your thighs together. He could feel your body tensing in desperation, so he graciously positioned himself between your legs.

Fred kissed along your thighs all the way down to your knickers. His fingers played at the waistband.

"You still want this?" he asked.

"Please Freddie," you whined.

He pulled your panties down your legs, tossing them onto the floor next to the bed. He worked your skirt up just a bit so he could see what he was doing.

Fred's tongue darted out, teasing you. You almost yelped, gripping onto the sheets to try to keep it together. You were so desperate for him that it felt embarrassing. 

His tongue worked around your clit, purposefully avoiding where you wanted him most. He loved the whimpers that were coming out of your mouth. He knew exactly how desperate you were. 

Fred squeezed your thigh with one hand and brought the other to your clit, rubbing circles with his thumb. His tongue worked its way down to your entrance, and your back arched off of the bed in response.

"You like that, darling?" he asked, pausing for a moment.

You only nodded in response, unable to get any words to come out. Fred resumed, his thumb playing with your clit and his mouth teasing your entrance. 

He pulled his mouth off of you, dragging a long pointer finger down to your entrance. 

"Is this okay?" he asked before going any further.

"Yes. Please," you answered, burning for his touch.

Fred's finger teased along your entrance before finally pushing it into you, a whine escaping your mouth. He worked it in and out slowly, kissing your thighs and leaving love bites.

"More please," you begged, feeling a knot tighten in your stomach.

Fred obliged, plunging another long finger into you. He picked up the pace, and you were rocking back and forth to meet his fingers. 

A number of profanities fell from your lips as you chased your release. Fred was admiring the sight in front of him, relishing in finally having his fingers inside of you.

"Such a good girl for me," Fred murmured. "So gorgeous like this."

You moaned in response, so close to your release. Fred's fingers had found the trigger spot inside of you, and he pounded against it again and again. 

You finally finished, your back arching off of the bed. Fred slowed his fingers, working you down from your high. He kissed the inside of your thigh.

"Fuck, you're perfect," Fred commented, admiring your form as you tried to catch your breath. 

He kissed a trail down your thigh, nipping at your hip bones. He left another love bite just above your hip bone. He loved marking you up, and secretly, you loved it too. His marks were nothing that you couldn't conceal with a glamor charm when needed.

Fred returned to your center, licking a stripe from your entrance up to your clit. You groaned at the overstimulation.

"Think you have another one in you?" Fred asked, massaging your thighs with his hands.

"You're going to be the death of me," you replied, ruffling his hair with your hand.

"That sounds like a yes to me," he smirked, placing one more kiss on your thigh before returning his attention to your clit.

He alternated between sucking on it and playing with it with his tongue, driving you absolutely mad. Your nails dug into his scalp, urging him for more.

"Fuck Freddie," you whined. 

You pulled at his hair, causing him to groan into you. Your hips started to buck up to meet his mouth, trembling at how sensitive you were after your first orgasm.

Fred was determined to make you finish again. One of his hands wandered up to your chest, sneaking under your bra. He pinched and played with your nipple, forcing moans and whimpers out of your mouth. 

"Freddie...so close," you breathed out, struggling to form words. 

Ten more seconds was all you needed to find your second release, trembling and whimpering as you finished. You panted in disbelief at the boy who was able to get you to finish twice. You had a hard enough time finishing once.

Fred kissed along your stomach, working his way back up to your mouth. He finally kissed you on the lips, and you gripped at his hair to pull him even closer.

He pulled back, grinning at you. "Good?" he asked. 

"Don't even," you slapped at his shoulder, giggling at him. 

His head came down to rest on your chest. You ran your fingers through his hair, placing a kiss on the top of his head. 

"I want to take you out on a date," he stated, nuzzling further into the crook of your neck.

"Where?" you asked, still playing with his hair.

"There's a Hogsmeade trip this weekend, how about then?" he said, picking up his head to look at you.

"I'll have to think about it," you replied.

"You are going, right?" he asked, sounding almost confused.

"Yes," you answered. Not a single Hogwarts student would want to miss out on a trip to Hogsmeade. Not even you. 

"Then why not?" he asked, pushing the issue.

You readjusted so you could sit up. Fred sat up too, putting his back against the wall behind his bed. 

"I haven't told all of my friends about you yet," you admitted. "Spending time together at Hogsmeade would make us look like...well, a couple."

"And you have a problem with that?" he pressed on, sounding a bit hurt. 

"No, well....I just like how things are now. It's private. It's just you and I without other people getting into our business," you said with a shrug. 

"So you don't want people to know that you've been seeing me," he stated, turning his head so he wouldn't have to look at you.

"No, Fred," you replied, reaching for his hand. He pulled it away. "I'm just not sure that I'm ready for something so public after Adrian. I need a bit more time."

"You're willing to sneak around and hook up in my dormitory but you can't be seen with me at Hogsmeade?" he said, now very clearly upset. 

"Fred...." you trailed off, trying to find something to say. You agreed, it did sound that way. But you just weren't quite ready for a public commitment. The whole school would be buzzing, and you liked to remain out of the spotlight when it came to gossip. 

"Please, just go," Fred said, still refusing to look at you. You sat there frozen for a minute, absorbing his words. You quickly dressed yourself, pulling your robes on and grabbing your back pack.

You headed for the door, turning over your shoulder before you left. "I'm sorry, Fred," was all you could say before turning the knob and walking out.

[ppumeonae-bigvibe]

between the lines

↖ navigation: seventeen masterlist || main masterlist

pairing: dormmate! woozi x gn! reader

↬ tags: bringing the 96 liners into this because i can, pining + longing, love is blind yada yada <3, quite wholesome towards the end

summary: through unspoken thoughts and harmless meddling, both you and jihoon get caught in the midst of your friends playful matchmaking

word count: 1.1k words

a/n: i posted it a whole day later ,, i thought today was the 1st of august… ㅠㅠ

jihoon wanted to get close to you. but the only thing stopping him was just that he was bad at initiating anything, especially when it came to things concerning you. unlike his friends who seemed to so easily befriended you. he sadly thinks that his love language might just be existing.

soonyoung displayed his affections with physical banter, oftentimes grabbing you and roughing you up playfully. you didn't mind it one bit, but jihoon did when his chest tightened at the sight of you leaning against soonyoung almost willingly as the male scrolls through his phone and shows it to you. or when you linked arms with soonyoung as the two of you strolled, leaving jihoon trailing behind.

the ever so brotherly junhwi was like a big sibling figure: upon your request, jun always never hesitated to do anything for you within reason. acts of service was something jun excelled at; on the other hand jihoon's dejection simmered beneath his skin when you walked past him towards jun, asking for his help even though jihoon could have done it too.

you sought wonwoo to spend time together. every time he thought of asking you to do passive things together, you had claimed to be spending time with wonwoo instead. wonwoo and you clicked because of the games you two played, but outside of gaming you two also do school work together in comfortable silence.

in conclusion, he's bad at expressing his feelings that he wanted to be with you. he found it confusing himself too, not being able to put a feeling as to why he always desired to spend time with you, to hold your hand, to do things for you.

funny thing was that, his friends knew about his way-too-obvious crush, and have been devising so many ways for you two to be alone together. call it brothers for brothers, or something.

jihoon zones back into the present: it was a movie night after finals and you had suggested to host a sleepover with the rest of them. wonwoo lightly bumps shoulders with jihoon; a curt nod, and a small grin.

junhwi unpacks all the food and exclaims in displeasure (jihoon thinks it was a bit too much), "we didn't get the drinks!" sooyoung makes a show of sighing (a little too loudly), "dang i was just getting thirsty for some cola..."

"i can go get them!" you offered unknowingly and jihoon perked up. his three friends looked at each other, as if their brains were firing off signals simultaneously and jihoon immediately claims, "i'll go down too, you guys can set up the area."

"yeah that would be good. we aren't too familiar with the neighborhood here." wonwoo adds on, sealing the deal. (jihoon never thought he'd see the stoic wonwoo trying his best to fight off a playful smirk)

with a recycle bag slung on jihoon's shoulder, the two of you headed out as the evening sun started to dip. "i'm glad finals are over." you light-heartedly started the conversation, beaming a little when jihoon reciprocates with his shy smile, "me too. it's been a while since we last saw them too."

silence blanketed you two again, and jihoon started getting fidgety as the convenience store emerged as both of you turned left. you glanced at the male, "jihoon, do you have something to say to me?" his shocked expression betrayed him with a mere statement from you.

you soften your eyes, "is this about the laundry? if it is, then i'm sorry, i knew it was my responsibility and i've been just so cooped up with all the tests and everything, and i know that you're a stickler for hygiene and i--" jihoon notices a whizzing cyclists pedaling downslope and immediately drags you towards him, "watch it!"

you let out a gentle "oof" at the sudden impact and jihoon hopes his heart wasn't beating too loudly. you moved away from him almost as quickly as he pulled you in.

"you okay?" his hands were still lightly grasping yours and your face flushed under his scrutiny, "yeah. you can let go of me now." jihoon's reluctance seemed to catch your eye too, "did you mean to talk about something else?"

dang it, you and your perception.

jihoon glanced down at his hand intertwined with yours, "why can't i link arms with you like you do with soonyoung?" you were mildly taken aback by the sudden question, but jihoon pressed on, "or when you got jun to do things for you when i could do them too? i'm your roommate, not him. certainly you don't need him to move your shelf when i was around."

you stared back at him with an unreadable expression and jihoon abashedly looks at the ground, "and when you spend time with wonwoo instead of me, i feel like i've been...left out. i don't know, tell me if i'm reading too much into this or maybe..."

he hears your sudden laughter amidst his worries and he thinks you might have lost it. you wiped away a tear from the sheer amount of force it took you when you started chuckling, "i didn't think this day would come. i like you, lee jihoon. like, a lot."

jihoon sputters, "this entire time?" you averted your gaze, "i just wanna ask if...maybe you do have feelings for me?"

"i do, for as long as i've met you and i..." you pecked him on the cheek and rocked back on your heels, "then that's all i wanted to hear."

if jihoon could combust right now, he would. he noticed how your blushing face mirrored his and he pulled you in for a hug: this time it was far from anything like that of two friends embracing.

"the things you mentioned: about soonyoung, he's just naturally clingy like that, but i thought maybe if i got closer to him it would make you jealous. same with jun, or more like he offered and i decided to test you a little to see if i was right. and for wonwoo, he was totally on board trying to rile you up."

you stopped your rambling and raised your hands as if to surrender, "i said my piece. the boys had a hand in all of these sneaky actions."

your words caused jihoon's mind to run at miles per hour, "but they told me they'd be 'wingmen' for me, and would try to create more opportunities for us to be alone together...?"

realization hit you. they've been instigating everything, orchestrating every action. "do you think they..."

"i think so." you confirmed his suspicions. hurriedly, you two entered the provision shop and bought the drinks, feet quickly carrying both of you back to the dorms to confront the three trouble makers.

the door bursts open at the impact, effectively shocking the three masterminds.

jun swallows his food comedically, "uh-oh." "seems like our plan worked out, huh?" wonwoo smirked as he leaned over to high-five an equally joyous soonyoung, "welcome back lovebirds!"

@ppumeonae-bigvibe 's work ; likes and reblogs are appreciated <3

[actual-changeling]

In the grand scheme of things, a month is not enough time to really get to know someone, especially if said person is clearly still going through a lot of shit and clinging to his brother like an octopus. They have been spending more and more afternoons with each other, always with Joel in the middle, and he likes to think they're on a good path to being friends.

Tommy might not know Ellie well, but he does know her, and it's easy to see that she is currently incredibly uncomfortable and Joel nowhere to be seen. The dining hall is loud during meal times on the best of days, but today it is outright chaotic, and Tommy remembers how overwhelming it had been during his first few months in Jackson. On top of that, Ellie is so small she can probably barely see through the crowd, just a piece of driftwood caught in the current and pulled along in whatever direction people are moving, and without Joel there to enforce her personal space, she is drowning.

His body is moving toward her before he even notices what he is doing, stopping himself once he does; there's a chance Ellie would be quite upset if he tried to swoop in and "save" her, well aware how much she dislikes being close to anyone who isn't Joel. But then Martin starts talking to her, good guy, usually very friendly, and all color drains from her face, and Tommy decides he'd rather have Ellie elbow him in the stomach than face his brother's wrath over not stepping in.

The crowd parts around him when he moves through it, the distance between him and Ellie closed within seconds, and he stops on her right, keeping himself in her field of vision so he doesn't startle her (he did that once on accident, never again). He nods at Martin, though his feelings are far from his priority right now.

"Hey Ellie, have you seen Joel somewhere?"

Trying to keep his tone light, he has one eye on the people surrounding them and one on her, still trying to figure out where the hell his brother disappeared to, he never leaves her alone if he can help it. He's not quite sure what he expects Ellie to do, but it's definitely not her hands snapping up to grab his arm so tightly it's almost painful, nails digging into his skin. She is shaking, trying so hard to be aware of the room around her that her eyes are almost fluttering, and it takes him a few beats to react.

"Gonna go 'n find my brother with this one, Martin."

It's not a question but he nods, giving his shoulder a quick squeeze before merging back into the crowd, and Tommy is incredibly thankful for that. The second he is gone, Ellie deflates, falling against his side, and Tommy brings up his other arm around her and gently places his palm on her back, relieved when she doesn't flinch. Asking if she is okay seems unnecessary, she clearly isn't, so he just tries his best to provide her with as much space as possible as he navigates them to an empty table in one of the quieter corners near the back exit, casually pushing people away when necessary.

Ellie sinks into a chair and doesn't let go of him, knuckles white, and he settles next to her, keeping an eye out for Joel while talking to her.

"Anything you need, sweetheart?"

The endearment slips out, force of habit, and her gaze is suddenly glued to his face, pupils blown so wide her eyes seem black.

"Don't leave."

"I won't, promise. Do you know where Joel went?"

She shakes her head, fingers around his wrist loosening a tiny bit.

"Alright, I'm sure he'll be back soon, someone probably just distracted him."

They both lean back, the relative silence between them oddly comforting, and Ellie nudges her chair across the floor until their armrests are pressed together, her breaths coming a bit slower and deeper now. The affection curling around his heart is familiar, warmth blooming in his chest, and it's easy to understand why Joel fell for her so quickly and completely it almost killed him. She relaxes while they wait, head tipping to rest against his biceps, eyes closed, and the open display of trust is so sweet it makes him ache. Despite not spending a lot of time together, she clearly thinks of him as someone safe, probably due to his relationship with Joel, and Tommy finds himself hoping that maybe they can build something on that foundation. Ellie is Joel's kid, which makes her family, and Tommy looks out for his people.

It takes Joel about fifteen minutes to finally return to them with a panicked look on his face, clearly out of breath, and he stops dead in his tracks when he sees Ellie half draped over him.

"I'm sorry, baby, someone was asking about some construction work I did yesterday, and-"

"It's okay," she interrupts, blinking up at him and stretching out one hand in a clear demand, "Tommy got me."

Joel stills, eyes flicking between the two of them, and he simply shrugs his unoccupied shoulder, it's not like it's his kid, after all. He takes Ellie's hand and falls into the chair next to her, leaning over to press a kiss to her hair, and Tommy doesn't even try to hide his smile. To everyone's surprise, Ellie stays right where she is, holding Joel's hand with a death grip but still using him as a pillow, and the look he shares with Joel is one of mutual confusion and resignation. She starts talking to him about some space book she's been reading, ignoring the last twenty minutes of her life, and they silently agree to wait out the masses before getting their own food, Ellie seemingly content to force both of them to listen to her ramble about an astronaut he has no idea about.

Yeah, she got them both wrapped around her finger, and Tommy finds he doesn't mind it one bit, hoping that maybe this is not only a second chance for Joel, but for him, too.

[thatgirlwithasquid]

Dear Moor Monster of Mine

3,424 words || read on ao3

I've been meaning to write a wolfblood harringrove au for so very long, so I'm glad that the @harringrove-relay-race gave me the push I needed to finally put my ideas down!

This is the first chapter. The full fic will be up on my AO3, but I didn't want to post too much here haha :)

---

Since the series of incidents last year, Steve’s parents have been keeping an unbearably close eye on him. If you had asked Steve perhaps three years ago, he would have been overjoyed with having his parents around all the time. But, right now, making his walk of shame from the car park where his mam dropped him off to the school’s doors, he can’t bring himself to feel anything other than frustrated.

Instead of travelling away on one of their monthly ‘work conferences’, Steve’s parents have taken to staying home month-round. That now includes the full moons. 

When Steve was little he used to hate that his mam and dad left him home alone for such an important day. Sure, they made sure to get nice babysitters or arrange sleepovers for him with Tommy and Carol, but all he had wanted was to share that experience with them. It didn’t matter that he knew he couldn’t do the transformation yet and so couldn’t fully understand it all, they were still his pack and it felt like they just didn’t want to share something that fundamental to wolfblood life with him.

It was isolating and upsetting, no matter how many kisses or how much quality time his parents would try to repay him with upon their return. He just wanted to spend those days with them. But now? Now he would much rather be left alone to watch movies, hang out with his friends, and not have his trainers chewed-through by his mam’s overeager wolf self.

“Nice wellies, Stevie!” Tommy calls out from across the yard as Steve passes by.

“Yeah yeah, laugh it up,” he huffs, striding on past to where Nancy and Jonathan are already waiting. 

Nancy doesn’t so much as spare him a glance as he comes to a squeaking standstill in front of them. She only manages a distracted ‘Hi, Steve’ as she continues flipping through her bag, clearly looking for something.

“Morning,” he answers anyway before turning to Jonathan.

He’s not looking at Steve either, too distracted by sending his choice of footwear a confused look.

“Planning on trekking through the woods later?” he asks by way of greeting.

“Monsters ate my shoes, had to make do with these instead.”

That makes Nancy’s head finally shoot up. For a moment, she gapes at him, flustered and speechless, before she composes herself with a sigh and a shake of her head. 

It’s then that she straightens up, shrugging her bag higher on her shoulder and brushing her hair back behind her ear. It opens her back into the group from where she had otherwise been sequestered off in her own mind. Steve grins at her.

“Don’t joke about stuff like that when Barb’s around,” she reminds him, expression friendly even in spite of her reproach.

“Don’t joke about what when I’m around?”

Well speak of the devil.

They all turn to Barb as she settles herself into their circle. Jonathan and Nancy look pained but Steve just throws an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into a squeezing sideways hug.

“Nothing,” he dismisses. “Just the photography club.”

Barb rolls her eyes, leaning back in Steve’s hold to send him a look that says she doesn’t quite believe him. She doesn’t shrug out of his hold, though, and that might be enough to lighten his petulant mood. The pair of them have come a long way since the whole drama around him and Nancy dating, which is something he’s very glad for.

Losing Tommy and Carol as friends stung, no matter how much he knew it was probably for the best; they weren’t very nice people and being around that sort of character wasn’t doing him any favours, but they had been his friends for years. But cutting himself loose from them, and by apologising properly to Jonathan for being nasty about his brother going missing and to Barb for being such a douche, did bring him into a much nicer friend group.

“You’re not still on about that, are you?” Barb asks him.

“Always,” he replies with a grin, raising his brows. 

Okay, maybe he’s not fully lost all his douchey-ness, but at least now he can argue it’s just part of his charm. Barb just shakes her head and accepts it with a fond roll of her eyes. 

“You already have your own camera,” Steve continues, turning now to address Jonathan, “so it’s not like you need it to be a school club.”

“Yeah, but it’s nice for it to be.”

“Fine, but I still think I deserve more credit for joining.”

“You only put your name down on some paper,” Nancy points out, smiling indulgently at him.

“And wasn’t that to make up for you smashing my camera?” Jonathan pipes up.

Steve cups a hand over his heart with a wounded expression.

“Wow, I see how it is. And, for the record—” he drops his hold on Barb to lean in and jab a finger into Jonathan’s chest “—I replaced that camera, as you should all know. You use it all the time for your stupid club. And what’s the point of the school supplying you with stuff if you bring your own in anyway?”

No one humours that with a response. That’s fine, they’ve gone over this bickering a hundred times before. Steve only really brings it up to wind them up now—all in good humour! At the end of the day, he’s fine with being an on-paper member of their club if it helps them out or whatever, especially since he knows that the Photography Club is Jonathan’s favourite thing about school.

He owes them all as much as well, for continuing to let him hang around. They let him off the hook for last year with less grovelling than was probably deserved.

“Ah,” Barb jumps in. “Speaking of photography… you’ve got to see what I found this morning on the moors.”

She unearths her phone from her bag and Steve winces. Sure, it’s only been about a year that he’s known Barb, but he really has come to like her. 

The whole of Hawkins High has always known about her monster on the moors theory—hell, the whole town probably does—and Steve had laughed at it back then, like everyone else, but now Barb is his friend… It leaves a bit of a sour taste in his mouth to think of the way he’d acted about that before, and the way others still act now.

It was arrogance, that sort of reaction. Thinking he was better than her because of her theories. And it was him in particular who was more arrogant than anyone else, hiding behind it to ignore that twinge of anxiety. It was easier to dismiss it all as ridiculous. Steve hadn’t quite been cruel enough to laugh in her face, but he’d still snickered behind his hands with Tommy and Carol before him and Nancy had gotten together early last year. 

Now that he knows Barb, it’s definitely worse. With him being around her so often, it feels like he’s waiting for her to look at him a little too closely and see just what lies beneath the surface. And that’s something he really doesn’t want, not just for his own safety.

They had to come a long way to get to where they stand now, but she’s undoubtedly one of his closest friends. Her, Nancy and Jonathan. All three of them—despite their rocky time when Steve had thought Nancy was cheating on him with Jonathan—are the people he cares about most in this world. 

He really doesn’t want Barb’s obsession with her own ghost story to get in between them all, he couldn’t handle it if they decided he was still a monster even after everything.

“See?” Barb asks, shoving the screen of her cellphone in their faces.

On it, clear as day, is the photo of a paw print. Realistically, it could be anything so it shouldn’t matter… but Steve can’t help the small shudder of anxiety in his chest. It doesn’t even make sense! His parents couldn’t have been up in the moors to leave that—he would know—and there’s no other wolfbloods around for miles of their territory, so it’s got to be an animal. 

And yet.

“Um… What… is it?” Jonathan asks. “Just a paw print?”

Barb huffs, turning to show Nancy instead, who gives the photo a more genuinely intrigued look.

“ ‘Just a paw print’,” Barb grumbles. “This is proof.”

“It could be,” Nancy says, and Steve can tell that she’s serious. “I could also be a fox or something—”

“Yeah, or a stray dog,” Jonathan suggests.

Barb looks at Steve pleadingly, but there’s nothing he can say. He knows this isn’t what Barb wants it to be. It can’t be.

“We need more concrete evidence,” Nancy consoles her instead.

“But this still proves something,” Barb insists. “That there’s something up there.”

“Hey, Barbara!” Carol calls.

The group of them all turn to see Carol, Tina and Vicki walking up behind them.

“I saw something weird on the moors: you.”

The others snicker as they push past, making their way inside. Steve shoots them a sour look as they strut past.

“Whatever, Carol,” Jonathan sighs, never having enough energy to deal with her dramatics.

Steve can’t blame him, it seems impossible that he had been able to get used to what they were like.

“Ignore her,” Nancy tells Barb.

“I will. We’ll show her when we end up being right.”

Nancy nods with an unsettling certainty.

—

Walking in to their form room would be the same as usual were it not for the folder of posters Nancy finally unearths from her bag. She leafs through them, splitting the pile into smaller ones to hand to each of them. Steve accepts his own with a begrudging confusion, peering down at the sign-up sheets and trusting the others to guide his way through the halls.

“When did you have time to print these off?” he asks.

“I came in early,” Nancy tells him with a shrug. “My parents wanted me to show Mike around on his first day anyway, so I was in early.”

Steve hums.

“That’s right, you two—” he gestures between Jonathan and Nancy “—have your brothers starting year 7 now, right?”

Jonathan nods to him; “That’s right.”

They turn a corner, heading towards the stairs up to Mrs Click’s room.

“Why don’t you just get them to sign up for your club, then? They’re nerds. That way you won’t need to stick these up around school.”

Barb rolls her eyes as Steve reaches over her to wave his stack under Nancy’s nose. The brunette just bats him away with an unimpressed look.

“I don’t think they’d find that particularly… cool,” Jonathan answers in her stead, “hanging out with their older siblings.”

Steve shrugs. He can’t say he can relate, being an only child, but whatever, he can see where they’re coming from. 

Barb and Nancy are debating the best ways to go about getting new members for the photography club when Steve goes rigid. They take a few more steps before they realise he’s fallen behind and then, with curious eyes, turn back to call out to him.

Steve doesn’t hear a word of it. Something’s off.

An unusual scent roots him to the spot. He doesn’t know what it is—or maybe he does, but it can’t possibly be what he thinks. All he knows is that this has never been here before, and it shocks him with a deep sense of wrongness. It doesn’t belong there.

He needs to root it out.

An instinctive territoriality spurs him onwards, picking up his pace until his friends are following after him with confused shouts. He needs to find whatever left that scent throughout the school. It’s like he can see it, a trail of scent in the air guiding him to whoever or whatever left it.

“Steve?” Nancy is calling. “Steve!”

He just keeps moving, feet carrying him onwards. Turning down hall after hall, paying no attention to the loitering students he shoulders past. 

“Steve, you’re going the wrong way,” he thinks that might be Jonathan this time.

The bell rings and more students hurry through the corridor, dispelling the scent trail. If Steve had gone through his first transformation by now, he’d probably still be able to track down whoever left it from the lingering traces, but with his senses not being fully developed yet…

He stands still dumbly, staring ahead with a sense of uselessness. The wolf instinct within him feels unappeased.

“C’mon,” Jonathan coaxes, leading him back over to where Barb and Nancy stand looking concerned. “We’ve got class.”

It’s probably lucky for them all that the scent trail Steve was following didn’t create too big of a detour. As it stands, they get into Mrs Click’s class for form in the nick of time. The woman stands up at the front of the room, talking to an unfamiliar head of blonde curls.

At first, Steve notices nothing askew—Mrs Click is talking to the new student about how she is their form tutor and head of year—but then it washes over him. The adrenaline of nearly being late to his first lesson fades and that scent steals his attention again. 

He freezes in where he’s stepped aside to allow Barb to shuffle into their shared desk, eyes swivelling to that new figure. Now that he’s paying attention, it’s like the scent itself is visible in the air, clouding around him with that cloying wrongness and announcing to the world how wrong his presence here is.

There’s a cocksure smirk on his face that makes Steve’s lip curl in disdain, an instinctual need to snarl and warn off the outsider barely suppressed.

“Everyone, this is William Hargrove—”

“Billy,” the new kid buts in. “It's Billy.”

A chorus of ooohs rise from the room, students goading on the attitude shown to their teacher. For her credit, Mrs Click takes it in stride. Instead, she nods and turns to settle the class.

“Okay,” she says, raising her voice over the beginnings of chatter. “That’s enough, thank you…”

But Steve is barely listening. It’s like everything else fades away and his focus narrows down to this William—Billy—still standing at the front of the class. Like Steve’s whole world is overtaken by the beating of his heart and the inescapable smell of him, a smell that’s so familiar. Familiar in a way that has his hackles rising in unease. It’s almost like…

“You smell like my parents,” Steve blurts out, and the rest of the class starts laughing.

Nancy reaches over from her and Jonathan’s desk to yank him down into his seat by the hem of his jumper’s sleeve. She shoots him an unimpressed look as Mrs Click scolds him:

“Alright, Harrington. Sit down.”

Steve barely hears any of them, barely notices any of it. Billy’s eyes had locked on to his, deep and blue and endless. It felt like Steve was falling into them, diving head-first into their emptiness where Billy would eat him alive. 

“Steve,” Barb whispers, jabbing him with an elbow. 

It’s only then that Steve realises he’s been watching Hargrove as he walks over to an empty seat at the very back of the room. 

“What’s gotten into you?” she asks, sounding concerned.

“Nothing,” he dismisses, trying to turn and give her his full attention. “It’s nothing.”

He can’t get involved, not after everything. Steve has been working so hard to prove to his parents and his friends—hell, even to Tommy and Carol as they watch with a smug anticipation for his downfall—that he’s not the guy he used to be. That’s something he can’t just throw away by causing problems with the new kid, even if he’s breaking every rule Steve has ever known.

There’s no question that this Billy is a wolfblood like he is, like his family is. The question is what is he doing here? One doesn’t just set up themselves on some other pack’s territory, and the Harringtons have held the territory around Hawkins for centuries. 

By showing up here, Billy is throwing everything off balance, but Steve can’t risk doing anything about it. Not now, not like this. As much as Steve wants to step up and scare him off, this is something he’s going to have to leave to his parents to deal with.

Even as he feels the itch of Billy’s eyes on the back of his neck, Steve keeps on looking ahead.

—

Billy, so it seems, takes no time to settle into Hawkins. By the time lunch rolls around, he’s already settled himself pride of place between Tommy and Carol, a wolfish curl to his grin that flashes just a hint of canine. It’s so outlandishly taunting that Steve has to sit with his back to their table to avoid staring at his sheer gall.

Nancy and Jonathan are discussing the school paper when Steve decides he can’t stand this silence anymore. He tears his head around from looking over his shoulder after Billy’s eyes catch his and his smirk seems to dim.

“Where the hell did he even come from?” he asks, cutting off Jonathan’s suggestion about… actually Steve isn’t sure, something about a book of the week.

“Who?” Nancy asks and Steve jerks his head back to where Billy now keeps sending glances his way. 

He can feel the others’ gaze on him, like someone is brushing his fur the wrong way. 

“Billy,” he says, trying with great difficulty to keep his tone neutral. “Someone must have seen something. Moving vans or something. Anything.”

Jonathan just shrugs.

“Not that I heard. Seems like everyone’s interested in him now, though.”

Steve looks around again in time to see Tina and Vicki settle themselves in the seats opposite Billy and Carol, effectively severing Steve’s line of sight. He huffs and turns back around. At the very least, them blocking the way soothes that feeling of being observed.

When he meets her eye, Nancy has a concerned look on her face.

“Leave it Steve,” she warns, voice carefully neutral. “You don’t want to get caught up in any trouble again.”

He hears what she’s saying, even if she won’t just come out with it. 

I won’t put up with you if you act like an asshole again.

It rankles him. It’s not even like it’s him doing anything wrong here! He almost wants to tell her that, to point out that for once he’s not just being an asshole, but doesn’t dare. He can’t, he reminds himself.

He couldn’t tell Tommy and Carol—probably for the best given their massive fall out—and so he can’t tell these guys either. No matter what. Which means he just has to bite his tongue and mind himself. This is something he just needs to let lie and have his parents handle it.

They can reach out to Billy’s pack, he thinks. And then this will be sorted.

“And who’s that?” 

Billy’s voice is clear and quiet with consideration, cutting through all the background noise like he had whispered the words directly into Steve’s ear. He shouldn’t be able to hear it, but he can’t help himself from focusing his enhanced hearing to pick up the conversation.

“Him?” Tommy says, breaking off with a derisive laugh. “That’s ‘King Steve’, used to be top dog around here. The Harrington’s have lived here for years, one of those right old families and Steve acted like it until he got all soft and cosied up to Nancy. Well—” Tommy laughs again and Steve clenches his fist beneath the table “—until Nancy ran off after weirdo Byers, there.”

Billy hums, interested. He doesn’t say anything else, but Steve can feel the way his eyes linger on him for a long moment.

The canteen smells like the sweat of overcrowded kids as he takes in steadying breaths through his nose. Jonathan, Barb and Nancy chat on none the wiser. It takes a long moment, but Steve manages to reign in his self control and steel himself into an icy indifference.

It doesn’t matter what Tommy thinks of him. Steve’s moved on, he’s better than this now. And the new kid won’t be around for long. Wolfblood packs don’t mix; even if he’s here now, he won’t be for long. Him and his pack will be long gone by the end of the week.

---

Stick around to see what wonderful work @medusapelagia has put together for us next!! <3

[panlight]

Ugh, YES! I couldnt agree more!! 😭

My friends and i were talking about this the other day (about how it seems like SMeyer (and i guess Bella 🙄) seems to have such OBVIOUS favoritism towards vampires) but seeing this ask reminded me of it again and it's a good jumping point.

It's just SO hypocritical that the first thing Bella assumes with the werewolves are that they're the ones eating people, which on it's own is FINE,,, if it werent for the fact that literally the previous book we have the Cullens/vampires who DO eat people by nature (and Edward even warns her!!!) and Bella's just "idc about it" and continues to not stay away, and still vouches for them despite the fact. Its always rubbed me the wrong way from when i first read that part years back, so when Jacob calls her out on it, yknow what? your right and you should say it, Jacob. (and let's not forget that a few chapters before that scene those same werewolves SAVED you from a vampire who did want to eat you, but ok Bella!)

Not counting Edward's (and some of the Cullens') unjustified prejudice on them, the werewolves are often portrayed in the narrative to be more savage, wild and lacking in free will compared to the vampires. What really cements this for me is that scene in BD, where Edward kinda goes "unlike you, we still have our free will" on Sam(??) and it really shows how the vampires (Cullens) are kinda shown to be "better" for denying their nature but the werewolves apparently "can't". Werewolves can't deny their Alpha (being able to is the exception), vampires can always leave their coven (being unable to is the exception); werewolves have no choice on their imprint, vampires have more liberties in finding their mates (ex: Victoria and Irina see James and Laurent as their mates, but that doesn't mean the latter two see them that way/are mated to them). That moment where Jacob finally breaks free from the Alpha command would"ve been a great moment for his character, and to show that werewolves do and can be above their nature, but then Nessie happened and he's just,,,fine with that?? He doesn't even TRY to break free from his imprint, or at least not be so held down by it. How is being okay with her biting him, attending to her every need and want, a GOOD thing? Bella even describes the imprint as Jacob's own needs being SECONDARY, bc appeasing the imprintee is now your "first reflex".

((there's also the way Bella's sees the vampires treating Jacob/the werewolves as nothing more than invisible/children/infants as ""easy acceptance"" (it's not, you can literally just say they barely tolerate them, tf), AND how the Cullens just stand there and watch Bella beat Jacob (in the movie she does get physical, in the book i think she only almost does) even though just a few days ago he saved your asses, you'd think at least Carlisle would do something!! even Leah, you'd think she'd do more about how Bella broke her brother's arm than just throw "murderous glares" her way, but NOPE!! But I'll just chalk these up to the story and characters bending backwards for Bella))

Yep. And some of this is, I'm sure, subjective, and people might have read/interpreted things differently, but your take tracks a lot with me. The vibes were just that the vampires were Super Cool and Awesome and something to be envied and admired. The wolf pack was warm and fun, but they were Poor and Uncivilized and always Bella's second choice. And again, that alone isn't really a problem. She's allowed to like spending time with her boyfriend more than with her friend. And she's Born to be a Vampire so there's maybe some naturally affinity for them. Whatever. Totally fair! It's just . . . the vibes.

It's telling, too, that in the original Forever Dawn the wolfpack was just "thinly sketched" and "most of them didn't even have names." They're a second thought and like, again . . . okay! SM's allowed to be more interested in the vampires. But that sort of dismissiveness, IMO, bleeds through in the writing. Harry Clearwater's death, for example, mostly exists so Edward can have his Romeo misunderstanding and think Bella's the one who is dead. But Harry's death should MATTER much more than it does. The wolfpack is antagonistic to Leah because like "ugh a girl and she's so upset about Sam" but like HER DAD JUST DIED?!? It doesn't seem to be a factor, like SM just forgot that it would matter to Leah, and to Seth, and the whole community. She brings up Embry's parentage mystery and then just does nothing with it. Why mention it? And like, sure, she does this with the Cullens too sometimes (Alice's backstory with James might as well not have happened), but at least there's SOME follow through: Rosalie's baby obsession in Breaking Dawn relates back to her backstory, Jasper's history fighting newborns becomes relevant, as does Carlisle's past friendship with the Volturi.

And it takes on that extra edge of ". . ." because she chose to make her poor, uncivilized, no free will 'werewolves' Indigenous. I do think she probably sincerely came at this from an oblivious "I just love Native cultures!" sort of place rather than a place of malice, but she co-opts these real people and rewrites their history and legends and then also just kinds of treats them as afterthoughts and also-rans. I don't super care that she doesn't super care about the human kids, but it feels different with the Quileute characters because she used these real people.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for lying to my friends due to a psychological disorder?

Ever since I (21F, american) was quite young (I would say around my 9 or 10 years) my mother noticed I had a tendency for lying, sometimes even for no reason at all. Some years after that I started going through therapy and psychiatric sessions and was diagnosed as bipolar and, more specifically, mythomania (compulsive/pathological lying, the diagnostic changed depending on which psychiatrist I went through). My manic episodes usually last longer than the depressive ones and, when those happen, I usually just lock myself from everyone in my bedroom (I rarely leave home even during manic episodes due to my own fear of anything bad that could happen outside)

And I'd say it's during those manic episodes that the bad things start to happen. Ever since my early 17s I started fabricating my own life to online friends since I have extreme difficulty making friends on real life. This ranged from stuff such as me saying that I'm disabled and that's why I don't leave my house (not true, I can do it when necessary but otherwise I am able bodied) and other simple, white lies to stuff like my relationship with my family and living condition.

It was in 2021 I think it started to go downhill. I still don't think I was in the wrong for it since, again, it is a mental disorder but I decided to come ask others too since the one friend I have that knows about it thinks I might be an asshole about this in specific.

Around 2021 I started playing a specific game with gacha mechanics. To this point, the image I had painted to most online friends (with the exception of that one friend) was of a girl on her 20s with a good relationship with her mother but a bad one with both her dad and brother (a lie, as our dad left us when we were children and I have a pretty good relationship with my brother), disabled and in bad living conditions. Because of that, it had been some time (since the beginning of the lockdown) since some of these friends started sending me money whenever I said I needed it for one reason or another (usually to buy food or necessities like hygiene products) and, since I didn't need it at all, I would just end up using it on stuff I enjoy like art supplies or makeup.

The moment I started playing that game though (which none of my friends knew about since they still thought I didn't have my own computer), I started spending all of that money on the game to pull for characters. It wasn't a constant thing but it got specifically bad on 2022, when a character I really enjoy was released.

I still think it's not that bad since none of them gave me a lot of money anyways, but after what I already had was spent on the game and I didn't have any money to buy the currency, I went to the discord servers venting channel and started writing by impulse stuff like how my dad had evicted me and me alone from the house after I stood up to him and now I was living in my cramped old car on the streets with no food, clothes etc. Some of those friends got extremely worried or something like that and ended up sending me more money than usual so I could 'pay for a hotel' until I had time to get government support etc (I don't really know how that works anyways, but I said I'd try and thanked them a lot for it and said that as soon as I was safe I'd draw something for them as payback but I never did because it wasn't really like it was a commission anyways) and I spent it on the game to get the character and I did!

I had to keep the lie about being homeless and then getting government support ever since and last month me and my "real life partner" (not real but i made it up a few months before this so i just used it as a excuse that he was working to get us both a place to stay) were finally in a safe apartment. However, one of those online friends knew about my condition and started to suspect about it all and got angry at me for no reason, saying that I was stealing from my friends and being unfair on even denying that to her. After that she blocked me but I was able to lie to the server that she had threatened me and implied I was lying about it all which wasn't true because that was my real living situation.

I still don't think I am in the wrong, they all did offer it to me on their own after all and I already spent it so there's nothing I can do. Am I the asshole for lying due to a mental health condition?

What are these acronyms?

[kerubimcrepin]

Liveblog - Dofus, livre 1 : Julith [PART 21]

I've already said how weird this whole situation is from Joris's pov, but imagine dying, being given a new body with a way smaller brain and no speech yet, as well as no object permanence, and having to comprehend while in this condition, that your brother, who spent the last 50–80 years trying to hunt you down and make you into a coat, just saved your son from being blown up, and is now dying.

But you lack the brain capacity to understand any of that. Or remember any of that history.

You just know that he's hurt, badly, and that you don't like seeing him in pain.

Joris knows now, that for an ecaflip demigod, it's not that big of a deal to die. At least not the first time.

So it's really more of a "You sacrificed yourself for me?" question.

He's paying back his debt. He can't be mean to Joris, when all he's done is be nice to him, he's not that kind of person.

And when he wakes up again, things will be different, between him and Kerubim. Something new is going to happen.

To quote Dofus Aux Tresors de Kerubim: It will have a different taste. A different feel.

Kerubim's current lack of object permanence or the idea of death, is both a blessing and a curse, because he has no fucking idea what happened, or where Atcham went. Poor kbitty.

On one hand, this is inherently traumatic for Joris. He must be tired of watching ecaflip demigods evaporate.

On the other hand, I can't help but feel that this is the moment Joris and Atcham truly begin to love one another. So I can't even feel sad about this moment, like a normal person.

Chat, this is what I cal coping and perhaps even seething. Joris is inclined to think Bakara is wrong because Bakara fucked up Majorly at this part of the movie. Also because Joris has not slept the entire night. Also because he watched 2 people die. Also Simone is far away. Also what IS Simone to do with a dofus-related issue?

Julith would absolutely have hurt Lilotte. There is absolutely not a single doubt in my mind, that if it got her what she wanted, she would dismember Lilotte as Joris watched.

I don't blame him for making mistakes and fumbling, though. He's like 10.

If she really isn't that bad... If ALL she wants to do, is to bring Jahash back... If that's what it takes for her to leave Lilotte and Kerubim alone...

And among all else, if this brings the man she loves back? He doesn't mind, then.

(Puts on a giant, Dofus Aux Tresors de Kerubim themed tinfoil hat)

Joris is a difficult character to read due to his insane multitudes and affinity for lying to everyone and himself.

Due to his passion for wanting to learn about his birth parents, I think spending time with Julith and Jahash is like a dream to him.

But I can't miss the dimension in this interaction that Julith is a scary dark mage called "the butcher", who already killed his father once and then kidnapped his friend, and they are both standing near her, behind him, and she is holding what is essentially the magical equivalent of a nuclear bomb in her hands.

And the things he says to her may or may not be affected by like, idk, two or three of these factors? Like there might be a slight possibility that he said "I'm sure she wouldn't have hurt you" and "a real family" specifically to decrease the chances of her killing Kerubim and Lilotte. Not sure where I get this idea from, though.

This is literally the worst day in Kerubim's life as a father. There is literally no going back. Thank god his little kittybrain is going to forget all about this in roughly 3 minutes.

[mixtape--oh]

Just in case – Lee Know

Minho x high school friend turned girlfriend Iris, circa September 2024

Even after years of being together, Iris was still not used to being taken care of. And even after years of being together, Minho was always ready and prepared, just in case.

This is for all my fellow girls with the eldest daughter syndrome out there; because we need a reminder from time to time that it is, in fact, okay, to let ourselves be taken care of every once in a while.

Minho only saw the text around half an hour later, during the short break in between practice sessions. He thought he'd never clicked on the call button so quickly in his life. 

Iris answered on the second ring. "Hey. Didn't expect you to read the text this fast." 

"We have this thing called breaks," Minho told her. Then he noticed the faint sound of traffic from her end. "Are you driving to Pohang? Alone?" 

"Yes and yes. How else was I supposed to go there?" 

"I don't know, maybe take the perfectly fine train? You know, with significantly less travel time and you can just sit back and relax while it gets you there?" 

"Then I'll have to ask someone to come pick me up at the station." 

"So be it? Hell, I'll order you a car from here myself." 

Iris sighed. Minho hated himself for immediately knowing where this was going. "You know I don't like depending on people." 

"Even on me?" 

"I'm still working on it. Besides," Iris added before Minho could interrupt, "having one more car around helps the logistics to transport people around. Not all of my relatives have one, and I have quite a handful of aunts and uncles and cousins." 

Minho found himself fighting to keep the frustration out of his tone. "Iris, that is not your responsibility." 

This was far from his first rodeo of reasoning with Iris' chronic eldest daughter syndrome. Throughout the four years of their relationship he had to convince her numerous times that not everything was her responsibility, that it was okay to let other people take care of her from time to time. She already started loosening up with Minho by letting him do small things for her: making her light bites, buying her things she needed, driving her around whenever he had the time. But when it comes to her family, especially the extended family from her mother's side – who all always saw and treated Iris the eldest grandchild as an adult, even before she legally became one, due to her responsible nature – it seemed like everything Minho had tried just disappeared and they were back to square one. She's back to the eldest grandchild who just had to take care of everyone, even those older than her. 

Through the phone, he heard her hissed through her teeth. "It still feels like it. I know you've been trying to help me with this, I'm sorry." 

Didn't want to revisit the recurring issue over a phone call, let alone at a time like this, Minho suppressed his sigh. "I'll just have to try harder from now on then. How are you feeling?" 

There's a beat of pause. "I don't know, but on the top of my head? I want to get there as soon as possible because I'm afraid it's gonna be messy. This uncle, his wife is one emotional aunty and their children are still, like, pre-school age and basically a baby. I fear she might cause a disruption for her children in her grief." 

Minho had to hold his tongue from shooting her another "that's not your responsibility". Instead he asked, "How about your mother? How is she taking it?" 

"She was crying when she called me," Iris sighed. "But knowing her, I think she's gonna spend the entire drive there crying her eyes out, just so that she can put up a front and be composed once she's there." 

Like mother, like daughter, Minho couldn't help but think. But he didn't let that one out loud. "She's not driving, though, right?" 

"No, the entire gang are coming down from Gimpo. Think my dad and brother take turns for the wheel." 

At that time, Jeongin's head poked out of the practice room's door. "Hyung, we'll start again in a minute." 

"Okay, I'll be right there." 

"You have to go?" Iris asked. 

"Yeah." Minho didn't like the thought of Iris spending the three-plus hours' drive all alone. He knew perfectly well that she could take care of herself, but it didn't make him feel any better about it. Right now there's nothing he could do about it, though, so he just had to bear it and settled with, "Please drive carefully, okay?" 

"As if I'm not one of the best drivers you've ever known," she said in a teasing tone, but Minho knew she understood his underlying sentiment nonetheless. 

"You know I'm one call away. Just in case." 

"I do know that." 

"And please try to remember that not everything that is happening over there, however messy, is your responsibility," Minho said slowly, hoping to increase the impact of the important message. "Take care of yourself too, you hear me?" 

Iris didn't answer right away. 

"Iris?" 

"Alright," she finally muttered in a soft tone. "Thanks, kitten." 

It's been hours since Iris last reacted to his message, but still Minho hadn't heard anything else from her since. 

Frowning, Minho put his phone down to the kitchen counter and put his focus back to the pudding he was nursing. He knew she would be busy with things and wouldn't have time to be on her phone, but still Minho wasn't able to go to bed peacefully without hearing from her. He hadn't heard of how "messy" things were over there, and he wanted to be here to provide what emotional support he could give her when she finally had time to update him. Hence the decision to get out of bed altogether and wait for her with this vanilla pudding he really liked. 

"You look like the pudding did something to offend you." 

Minho looked up and saw Jisung walking into their shared kitchen, still in his outside clothes – as if he just got home. "What were you doing out until this hour?" 

Yawning, Jisung dumped himself on the chair across Minho. "Working on a couple songs with the hyungs at Changbin and Hyunjin's." 

"Poor Hyunjin. Even his new place is still disturbed by shirtless dudes eating chicken breasts." 

Jisung laughed at the old reference. "Nah, he's had enough of us and decided to have a sleepover with Jeongin at his and Chris hyung's place. Now, what are you doing still up until this hour? Surely not to pick a fight with your pudding?" 

Minho sighed. "I'm waiting for Iris." 

"What, is the noona coming here? At this hour?" 

As Minho filled him in with the necessary details, Jisung helped himself to Minho's abandoned pudding. "You know, even after all these years, it still feels a little weird seeing you being a softy like this," he admitted after swallowing the last spoonful of pudding. "I mean, you never stayed up this late to give me emotional support." 

Minho snorted. "That's because I know you'll ask yourself, even wake me up in the middle of the night if you have to. Iris, on the other hand, would never ask, so I just need to be prepared and offer it to her. Just in case." 

"Fair point," Jisung chuckled. "But still, that's so sweet of you. It's a foreign look on you, but it's a good one." 

Before Minho could rebut, his phone on the kitchen counter pinged, its screen flashing a new message with Iris' picture on it. Noticing it too, Jisung stood up, bringing the now-empty pudding cup with him. "I guess that's my cue to leave you alone. Night, hyung." 

Took ten second of silence before Minho's phone lit up again, this time announcing a call from Iris. He thumbed the green button immediately. "Hi there." 

"Are you really staying up just to wait for me?" she blurted. 

"Yeah, just in case." 

"Why are you always sweet to me?" 

"Someone has to," Minho said firmly. "Because you're not being sweet to yourself, especially around your extended family over there. How's it going, by the way?" 

There was a few seconds of pause. "Can we not go over that now?" she asked quietly. "I don't think I can tell you about it without going through a full-force, mindless rant, and I can't afford that right now. Need to stay level-headed for the funeral tomorrow." 

Oh dear, Minho thought. So it was that level of messy. "Of course. What do you need?" 

"You really don't have to do anything, you know," Iris muttered. 

"I know, but just in case. So, ideas to make you feel better. Go." 

Another pause, then: "Can you... just, talk? Tell me about your day, or anything really. I'll listen." 

It was an rare dynamic between them. Iris was usually the talker among the two, and Minho had always been more than glad to listen to anything she was talking about, from her experience of buying groceries to her thoughts about the new health policy. For her to ask him to talk was very rare, and it always happened on the worst of her days, the kind that drained her towards zero – and for Iris, who possessed seemingly limitless energy most of the time, it took a lot to drain her. 

Truth be told, Minho had had an exhausting day himself, and talking definitely sat on the bottom of things he wanted to do at the moment. But he wanted to provide some sort of support for Iris any way he could, and if to do so he had to talk his mouth off, then talking it is. 

Even though he wasn't as good of a storyteller as Iris and had to put in the effort to think of interesting bits to share with her – something that always seemed to come so naturally for her. 

Iris seemed to notice this eventually. "I'm sorry," she said when she finished laughing at Minho's story about the mishap he had with Changbin in the practice room earlier. "You're exhausted, and I'm making you yap." 

"Did it work though? Make you feel better?" 

"It does," she said, in a small but pleasant voice. "Makes me feel a lot better. Thanks a lot for that." 

Minho smiled, filled with the sense of pride he always felt knowing he made her feel better. It was as if every thought he'd ever had about being exhausted faded away to nothingness. "When are you coming back?" 

She let out a sigh, but it sounded more of content, as if the mere idea of going home was pleasant enough for her. "Tomorrow. No matter what happens, I will be on my merry way in the afternoon. I'm setting boundaries on taking care of people here, kitten, aren't you proud of me?" 

"That's great! Glad what I've been doing for the past few years left some dent in there." 

"That, and Mom made me promise to be scarce by 3 p.m. the latest. She said I've done enough." 

"Hear hear," Minho said firmly. "You should go have some sleep then. You need some if you're going to be driving tomorrow." 

Before Iris could answer, Minho heard a faint sound of a baby crying on her end. She sighed; not contentedly this time, rather as if she was bracing herself. "That's my cousin." 

Minho could hardly believe her. "Iris Park, are you freaking babysitting right now?" 

"It's the youngest of my late uncle, Minho. Her mother is currently too distracted to care for her." 

Minho knew he should be holding back, shouldn't risk breaching the sensitive topic at this hour with the two of them being exhausted, but he couldn't help himself. "Iris, my flower, that is not your responsibility."

Another sigh. "I know, but it's the least I can do. I should go – talk to you later, kitten." 

"Try to get some sleep!" Minho managed to say just before she hung up. Though, knowing Iris, he doubted she'd get any blink at all tonight. 

Putting his phone down to the counter, Minho pressed the heels of his palms to his closed eyes. If he hadn't liked the thought of Iris driving the three hundred-plus kilometers distance between Seoul and Pohang before, he liked the idea of her driving said distance with little to no sleep even less. 

Then an idea suddenly occurred to him. It just so happened that he had these two days off; he'd planned to spend some time with his mother, who's currently in the city for the next couple days, but now his brain was starting to formulate a different plan. His mother would understand, he thought, because she loved Iris too. 

Which was why, on the next day past lunchtime, Minho found himself getting off the car he'd ordered to take him from the train station to the address Iris' father had given him. It was a small house her mother had bought before moving to Gimpo, where their family always stayed whenever they came here, and that was currently empty because everyone was still at the late uncle's residence for the funeral wake – as promised by Iris' father, a means to ensure Minho's privacy. Minho couldn't help but feel touched by the thoughtful gesture. 

Despite already being told where they kept the spare key and to "make himself at home", Minho decided to wait on the front porch and get comfortable on one of the chairs there instead. Hence when the car he recognized as Iris' entered the driveway not an hour later, he immediately saw it and got to his feet in an instant. 

"What the – " Even over the sound of the car's machine, Minho could already hear Iris' exclamation from inside the vehicle. She quickly turned off the engine and scrambled out of the car, making her way to Minho with long, heavy strides. "What in the world are you doing here?" 

Minho grinned at her. "Just in case you need something more than listening to me talk on the phone." 

"But why – when – how did you – " She seemed to be at a loss of words. Still grinning, Minho opened his arms just a little bit, just as a little suggestion. Just in case. 

Iris seemed to catch on the hint. With a defeated sigh, she finally stepped forward and into Minho's arms, letting him envelope her in a hug and hold her tight. He felt her melt against him, burying her face on the crook of his neck. "I have so many questions," she said, her voice muffled. "But I'm also very, very tired." 

"That's okay," he murmured to her hair. "You can both ask your questions and have your overdue rest on our way back to Seoul." 

She lifted her head to look at him. "Did you seriously come here only to drive me back?" 

Minho shrugged. "You know, just in case." 

"Unbelievable," she said, as if to scold him, but the effect was softened because she was leaning her forehead to his. "Lee Minho, I've told you many many times before, you can't just keep doing things like this for me." 

"I'm not doing this for you though," Minho countered. "I'm doing this for me. Doing things like this makes me happy." 

Iris let out a half-hearted scoff. "Traveling from Seoul to Pohang just to drive me back to Seoul makes you happy?" 

"It does." He gave her shoulders a little squeeze. "Because I get to take care of you, something not many other people get to do. And as I've told you many many times before, you better get used to it because I'm not stopping." 

She held his gaze for a few silent seconds, then offered a small smile. "Thank you," she said softly. 

Minho leaned forward to press a kiss on her forehead. "Now let's go get your stuff and go home."

previously on | coming up next Find more stories from Minho & Iris and the rest of Stray Kids here!

[sadbigemini]

SUPERNATURAL MY BELOVED!!! Sorry, lol... I have some SPN fic prompts today. Let's get started!

What If Dean Winchester Killed John Before The Pilot?

I saw this post talk about how the initial pilot script implied that Dean killed John instead of hunting down Yellow Eyes (Azazel).

And like just imagine!

John went 'too far' (Dean's opinion) in his abuse and Dean had to kill him. But he felt guilty even after everything that the bastard did to him and Sammy. And he couldn't be alone bc what is Dean Winchester without family, without a purpose?? 😭

So, he went to Stanford and told Sammy that Dad was on a hunting trip.

WHAT IF SAM KNEW?!?!

What if Sam knew? Whether it be from the moment Dean said something or he figured it out during the first hunt (the White Woman/Weeping Woman).

But he let Dean have his whole charade bc he knew he was working through his guilt or for some other reason??? Idk

Also in the post was during their 'first' meeting Cas was like "Dean Winchester I need you to help me kill my father" and like that can happen too lmao

It would be interesting

⛧

What if John Winchester died instead of Mary Winchester?

!!!

Patchwork Souls (title rec)

John went into the nursery instead because Mary was going to follow through with the deal she made with Azazel.

Mary would still want revenge against the demon though. Especially since she only agreed that she wouldn't enter the nursery and demons are all about technicality. Only when it doesn't apply to themselves apparently (meaning John's entry shouldn't have mattered, Yellow Eyes could have just teleported away).

So, I think she would start hunting again but she would definitely not let her grief control her. Like someone else we know (side-eyes John 😒).

Now I'm going off of Past Mary's personality bc I hate Brought Back Mary (or whatever you wanna call her lol).

Mary raises the boys and still teaches them to hunt but only for self-defense and as a precaution.

She doesn't take Dean on a hunt until he's like sixteen maybe eighteen and only because he wants to. Same with Sam. She also starts them out easy.

Dean definitely would have probably tried hunting on his own tho.

Bobby or Ellen would watch them a lot when Mary went on hunts.

Would that mean that Ellen's husband is still alive??? Whatever you want ig?

She would never leave them alone in a motel until Dean is like at least fourteen. And she would always leave them with enough money. Even if there wasn't quite enough for herself.

But when she wanted to spend some time with her boys she would hand off the case to someone else through Bobby or Ellen.

Jo would be like their little sister and Ash would be like their weird brother lmao

Bobby kinda became like a father figure to Mary and a grandfather like figure to the boys (don't get me started on that while weird relationship in the show please).

Mary makes money by becoming a private detective and solves mostly supernatural crimes. Sometimes it's just cheating husbands.

But when work is slow she works at the Roadhouse for extra cash and also hustles the hunters there.

Bobby/Jody or Jody/Donna??

Dean/Castiel in the future?

Mary encouraged Sam to pursue his dreams of a more normal safe life and becoming a lawyer. She also encouraged Dean's dreams of becoming a hunter even if she wishes he chose a different route.

The story might start with Mary being kidnapped because the demons want the colt? And Dean pulls Sam away from his more apple pie life to find her. Or maybe she went dark because she caught Yellow Eyes’ (Azazel’s) trail?

Maybe she wants to shield her boys from the demon and try to keep them safe?

What about John's deal with Azazel? Would Mary make it instead? Or would that not happen??

⛧

Dad Bobby ♡

Bobby adopts the Winchester boys legally.

When Bobby meets the Winchesters he's reminded of his father and he does something about it.

First he goes to rehab, talks to Dean (first about John not his plan yet, when he does it's a year after Dean was sent to the boy's home), starts getting friendlier with the locals, and asks Ellen and some hunters to help fix up his house. Making it not look so blatantly like a hunter's.

They hide it all in his panic room which he then makes a secret passage to so the social worker won't see it. But he keeps his guns locked up in his room.

He also takes a step back from hunting but still helps from pretending to be a FBI superior to giving hunting advice to finding hunts for others to help research lore. He focuses on his car business.

SPN has so SO many plot holes ranging from big to small so some the ages for certain things have been changed.

So, Dean went to the boy's home at 14 instead of 16. Sam was 10. Sam learned about monsters when he was 8 like in canon. Dean learned about them a little younger maybe. Currently Dean is 15 and Sam is 11???

⛧

The FBI Has A Secret Task Force Of Hunters

Supernatural and Criminal Minds crossover!!

Dean and Sam are forced to join if they don't want to go to jail. They'd also get paid a salary and have more stability. But it throws the Winchester brothers into a whole new world.

They have mandatory therapy and training tho– HA!

They'd also probably have to share their knowledge and train agents. Obviously the BAU is assigned to them.

So, the BAU works with them and gets brought into a whole new world too.

Maybe Bobby joins later and helps recruit more hunters, so they all could get paid or???

The new hunters have to probably pass a psych eval and stuff though, so???

OH MY GOD CHARLIE AND GARCIA!!!! they would bond over their VERY similar pasts and their VERY similar personalities! Dead parents bc of a car crash? Check. Sunshine nerdy personality? Check. Fangirls? Check. Tech geeks who dabbled in the illegal side of things? Check. Bright colors? Check. Fruity? Check.

THERE ARE DIFFERENCES THO SO THAT'S GOOD

Sam and Reid!

DEAN AND MORGAN!!!!

Sam And Emily!!

Sam and JJ!!!

OMG Rossi would uncle the hell out of them and I think Bobby would be jealous lmao but they would probably become drinking buddies.

CAS AND REID!!!!!!!

[mollywog]

"Do you think we'd have ended up like this if only one of us had won?" he asks, glancing around at the other victors. "Just another part of the freak show?"

Actually - yes (though they’re not freaks). Under slightly different circumstances or over time, Katniss could have become the next Haymitch, Johanna, Finnick, Annie, or morphling

Haymitch Abernathy

Maybe he wasn't always a drunk. Maybe, in the beginning, he tried to help the tributes. But then it got unbear-able. It must be hell to mentor two kids and then watch them die. Year after year after year. I realize that if I get out of here, that will become my job. To mentor the girl from District 12. The idea is so re-pellent, I thrust it from my mind.

~

"Is that what happened to you?" I ask Haymitch.

"No. My mother and younger brother. My girl. They were all dead two weeks after I was crowned victor. Because of that stunt I pulled with the force field," he answers. "Snow had no one to use against me."

"I'm surprised he didn't just kill you," I say.

"Oh, no. I was the example. The person to hold up to the young Finnicks and Johannas and Cashmeres. Of what could happen to a victor who caused problems," says Haymitch. "But he knew he had no leverage against me."

"Until Peeta and I came along," I say softly. I don't even get a shrug in return.

Johanna Mason

Where you can starve to death in safety," I mutter. Then I glance quickly over my shoulder. Even here, even in the middle of nowhere, you worry someone might overhear you.

When I was younger, I scared my mother to death, the things I would blurt out about District 12, about the people who rule our country, Panem, from the far-off city called the Capitol. Eventually I understood this would only lead us to more trouble. So Ilearned to hold my tongue and to turn my features into an indifferent mask so that no one could ever read my thoughts. Do my work quietly in school.

~

"Of course Peeta's right. The whole country adores Katniss's little sister. If they really killed her like this, they'd probably have an uprising on their hands," says Johanna flatly. "Don't want that, do they?" She throws back her head and shouts, "Whole country in rebellion? Wouldn't want anything like that!"I can't help catching her hand as she passes me.

….

"Don't go in there. The birds -" I remember the birds must be gone, but I still don't want anyone in there. Not even her.

"They can't hurt me. I'm not like the rest of you. There's ho one left I love," Johanna says, and frees her hand with an impatient shake.

Finnick Odair

"President Snow used to ... sell me ... my body, that is," Finnick begins in a flat, removed tone. "I wasn't the only one. If a victor is considered desir-able, the president gives them as a reward or allows people to buy them for an exorbitant amount of money. If you refuse, he kills someone you love. So you do it "

~

I'm left with Haymitch in the rubble, wondering if Finnick's fate would have one day been mine. Why not? Snow could have gotten a really good price for the girl on fire.

Annie Cresta

"You're not leaving me here alone," I say. Because if he dies, I'll never go home, not really. I'll spend the rest of my life in this arena trying to think my way out.

~

"Yeah. Annie's the one who went mad when her district partner got beheaded. Ran off by herself and hid. But an earthquake broke a dam and most of the arena got flooded. She won because she was the best swimmer," says Peeta.

The morphlings

Surely she could afford food, but turned to the morphling just as Haymitch turned to drink, I guess. Everything about her speaks of waste - her body, her life, the vacant look in her eyes.

I revise my suicide plan to slow death by morphling. I will become a yellow-skinned bag of bones, with enormous eyes.

[matsukaah]

☆°•a.n - This fanfic was my first finished since 2018, so maybe it's not a big deal, but I'm proud of it and I hope you like it If there is any coherence error, it is due to English not being my native language (but it was reviewed by @icecreamonstrawberrypie 🩷 and I am very grateful!!)

☆°•warnings - 3.5k words, some swearing, just a relaxing experience

☆°•context - In this short story, you prepare to spend the next three days at your boyfriend's house. Gyutaro is a man who wants to give you the best days of your life, even if in a clumsy way, he wants to try the things he always wanted to do, Gyutaro wants to show that you are worth everything the world can offer

Gyutaro – Slumberparty

Today is very cold, but you can’t help but take quick steps, your luck is not to be far from the Shabana brothers’ residence, where you intend to spend the night. Your backpack is a “little” heavy, as you ended up filling it with necessary and unnecessary things, just in case. Due to both of their busy schedules, it is difficult to have the opportunity to spend quality time with their boyfriend, but they planned these three days together meticulously.

You can’t imagine how nervous he is, Gyutaro wanted to make sure that his days with him were perfect down to the smallest detail, making a point of tidying up the house from start to finish, almost as if he had committed a crime in that apartment and had to be clean. We also talked to Ume, as she is used to having girls’ nights out with her friends, sometimes with you, so if there’s a master on the subject, it’s her, getting lots of tips on games, games, movies that should be watched and foods that should be purchased. Like a butler he bought everything he thought he might like, even scented lemon-scented candles, but he wasn’t nervous, it was just a precaution (he was).

Hearing the knock on the door caused adrenaline to circulate throughout his entire body, almost crashing his brain, running desperately to the door, like a dog anxiously waiting for its owner. Seeing your face after so long alone made me sure I was about to die if I didn’t see you again, hugging your body with affection, burying my nose in your hair, smelling the fragrance of your shampoo, rolling my eyes in pleasure He pressed a little more, until he heard you complain, you know? Of not being able to breathe.

“I missed you too, sweetie, but shall we go inside? The backpack is heavy” you said modestly, since it was really fat.

“S-Sorry darling, let’s go in..” Gyutaro mentally cursed himself for not having noticed this before, taking your backpack in a gentlemanly manner, guiding you into the apartment.

The atmosphere was pleasant with the light acidic and bittersweet smell of lemon, you knew that Gyutaro had turned this house inside out for your arrival, it makes your cheeks heat up as you can’t help but smile. The sofa had been rearranged to be in front of the television, with some games purchased from the online store open on the screen, and even some DVDs of old games that Gyutaro had a certain passion for, and that he loved to share with you, from classics like castlevania, horror like Resident Evil is his passion, but he really loves games with nice graphics, especially if they are co-op, so he can share them with you. Gyutaro may have spent a lot of money on several consoles, even though he doesn’t use them all, he likes having them, and as they are the small luxuries he allows himself to have, he doesn’t mind spending so much. He recently bought Overcoocked2 for the two of you, he thinks it would be romantic to play a game like that with you, besides, he has seen several reports of people close to him who play together, some funny videos of people freaking out over the game itself, but it can’t be that bad, can it?

On the small table in front of the sofa there were several snacks, sweets and snacks that looked juicy, several sheets, pillows and stuffed animals that you shared as if they were your children. He will never admit it, but he hugs them while sleeping alone, as some of them are permeated with his scent, making him comfortable. But you know the truth, you’ve already come to see him as a surprise seeing him cling to the stuffed animals, it’s a rare and lovely sight.

On the floor you can also see some board games, and even a twister, you feel loved, for all the effort that Gyutaro showed in just a three-day date, it’s not easy to find a guy who is that passionate, or who has already If you’ve done half of what Gyutaro has already done for you, it would be foolish to let him slip through your fingers. He made sure to put your things near the couch, in case you needed to get something, and even though Gyutaro had rehearsed in his mind all kinds of things he wanted to do to you, now that you’re here he feels anxious, doing his thing. Breathing becomes deep and unregulated.

“Where.. I-I mean, do you want to do something darling?” The stumble in his words makes your face heat up, even though they’ve been dating for so long he still acts like a teenager in love.

“how about we play? You already got everything ready anyway, I’m sorry I didn’t arrive sooner, I would have helped you” her sweet words made Gyutaro feel proud, after all, his efforts had been recognized by the most incredible person in the world in his eyes.

“Ah yes.. I bought some new ones.. I also have a gift for you..” he guided you to sit on the couch next to him.

Looking forward to the surprise, his heart was beating fast, Gyutaro signaled with his hands, telling you to close your eyes, which he did without hesitation. He felt a light weight being placed on his thighs.

“you can open it...” he said nervously due to the tone of his voice.

Looking at it, it was a box, which glittered in dark purple wrapping paper, with some bows, undoing them with regret, since they were beautiful, he could appreciate the contents. With a plush pinkish interior, with a video game controller themed on the character Kuromi from Sanrio, with personalized buttons, all made to order and some by hand, you can see through small errors in the painting and deformities that only make it special, feeling a smile form, making your cheeks hurt. You looked at Gyutaro with eyes full of gratitude, until you looked at his hands, which had similar control to yours but the character Badtz-maru, you knew which character it was because it also belongs to Sanrio, but of course, also because it is the romantic couple and Kuromi. His control seemed to have been done more sloppily, making it obvious that his priority was to make his being more pleasant.

“If you don’t like it, I can do it again” he said nervously, even if he had tried hard, for you he would do it again until he died.

“Did I like it? I loved Gyu.. you the best I could ever dream of..” your sweet words made Gyutaro’s sleepless nights and a ton of tutorial videos worth it.

Seeing the crooked smile and red cheeks on his face made her heart beat faster, basically grabbing him at this opportunity, giving him little kisses on the cheeks, until she reached his mouth, where she stayed for a while. Gyutaro could spend all day glued to yours, honestly, but there’s still a lot to be done, he hugs your waist as he enjoys the moment. When they separate he can’t resist putting his face in your neck, his face is probably red, it would be shameful for you to look at him in that state, and you can’t hide it, his body is hot and sweaty, that always happens.

“We have to debut them, don’t we? I wanted to test a game that I bought, for both of us... I thought it would be cool, Overcoocked2, what do you think?” he said slyly, sincerely embarrassed, sinking deeper into your neck, squeezing your body in a sweet embrace.

“No matter what we do.. if we do it together I’ll like it” you said in a sweet voice, your smile was remarkable, as you stroked his hair.

—

“I’M GOING TO ASK YOU JUST ONCE, is the oven fucking your fucking brain?” Gyutaro spoke like a madman as thin veins protruded from his forehead, furrowing his eyebrows.

“I’m the one asking you, I say “cut the fucking tomato” and tell me you brainless person, what do you do besides throw them on the floor???” you said back in irritation, pointing at his face, it was the third time they had remade the same level involving pizza, always having different problems.

“HOW IT IS? DON’T COME WITH THIS! I’ve been cleaning up the shit you do since the beginning, and I’m the brainless one here?” he said, placing his finger on your forehead and pressing it.

“my sister has more cooking skills than you” he spat in your face in a rude tone, smiling cynically.

“you? I cleaned the plates, cut the cheese, put it in and took it out of the oven, because SOMEONE HERE doesn’t know how to cook without burning it, you knew you can’t sell charcoal, right? Or do I have to explain this to you too?”

The discussions to see who was to blame didn’t result in much, in the end they knew that both were to blame, especially since the game was in na already difficult phase. In the end, they were slightly sullen with each other, in a trivial way, moving on to another game that was less stressful, in Gyutaro’s words. “Love in dangerous spacetime” super cute and basically made to play with your partner, except that he didn’t notice that the game requires the couple to use their brains, something you two are not in a position to do, causing more fights between the two, seeing whoever was doing most of the work protecting your ship still managed to complete much of the game. Seeing you get easily irritated even over little things made Gyutaro laugh, after all you two were arguing over such a silly thing, to make things better he decided it was time to eat some of the snacks he had bought, inviting you to join in. He, of course, did not deny it.

Gyutaro wanted you to feel amazing, he thought of several romantic things to do together, even if he was embarrassed to say and do it. He really wanted to feed you in his mouth, like in the movies he’s seen, he started eating some of the spicy snacks he bought, they’re really tasty, despite being fiery and even sour, for him it just makes them tastier. He wanted to share the experience with the person in his life so he held one between his fingers shyly guiding it to her face. Initially she didn’t understand, but his shy face made her heart melt, even though she had never tried the snack, to know if it was to her taste, having this first experience with him seemed magical, eating from his hand, that if Gyutaro could, I would jump with happiness.

Of course, until you start coughing and watering from the burn and acidity, wrinkling your forehead, the salt in question was really crumbly, releasing several crumbs into your throat, making your cough worse. Gyutaro felt desperate, getting up quickly, stumbling over his steps to get water, quickly bringing it in a glass. As soon as you managed to take it, you took a deep breath, giving small coughs, your chest hurting a little.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have given that..” he lowered his face in shame, since he wanted to try that idea.

“no, no, my dear.. it was na accident, I liked it, only the crumbs went into my throat” she used her hand to signal him to return to her side.

Gyutaro bent down, approaching you shyly, feeling horrible for having caused this problem “try again darling.. but this time, use some sauce, it will ease it for me”

You didn’t understand why he wanted to practice this type of romantic interactions, since they weren’t that common for him, but if he wanted to do it, you were willing to do what was necessary to make it happen. And also because if you don’t support him now, he may not try new things with you again for fear of your negative reactions. He nervously held out another one, it wasn’t like him to upset you, so if you wanted to try again, he would. He used a light peach-colored sauce, bringing it to his lips and biting it slowly. Finally being able to enjoy the flavor, and it really is delicious, the burning isn’t bad, it’s even good once you get used to it. Gyutaro felt good, having managed, even though it wasn’t the first time, to see your eyes light up from the taste, and literally eating out of his hand is pleasurable. To reciprocate you did the same, you opened a package of snacks with a well-seasoned flavor, with a meat flavor, the smell was enchanting, having your hands approaching him made his face burn, he was almost in a state of hypnosis as he enjoyed you, as if you were a painting, he bit the snack from your hand, lightly biting the tips of your fingers.

Even though Gyutaro isn’t a big fan of sweet things in general, he loved exchanging treats with you, taking advantage of the size of the gummies to pass them between your lips, and feel how soft they were. When you did the same to him, Gyutaro felt like he could eat out of your hand like a pigeon for the rest of his life without getting tired, but of course, at some point you stopped eating to get some rest. He looked at the floor with the intention of continuing to entertain you, in no way did he want you to be bored, he chose a simple, “barrel pirate”, the tension of each of the small swords being implanted into the barrel, he was eager to see the little pirate jumping, seeing his nervous look, and light drops of sweat on his temple, so much so that he didn’t notice that as soon as he stabbed one of the small swords, the little pirate flew violently, scaring Gyutaro, giving na outrageous scream, as his mouth trembled in disbelief, and seeing you laugh at him made him feel embarrassed.

—

“if I feel that foot on my face, I swear I’ll bite” Gyutaro said distorting his body, now with both of them playing twister, he had inhuman flexibility, almost bending his entire body, he looked like a towel being squeezed.

“if you bite me, I’ll kick you, I’ll break what you call a face” you said nervously, moving your foot over a red circle, indicated by the word that comes with the game.

It was kind of difficult to know the position you were in, the two of you looked like two snakes stuck together, moving was challenge enough. Until Gyutaro tried to make a complicated movement, passing his arm directly over his body, he fell over his torso, causing his body to hit the ground violently.

“YOU SON OF A BITCH” you grabbed his stomach tightly, as if he had sunk, Gyutaro’s bones had beaten aggressively against his flesh, you mentally asked yourself, how someone as thin as Gyutaro could be so heavy.

“HONEY I’M SORRY” to say he was desperate was na understatement, heheld your body and placed you on the couch, looking for hot water to ease your pain.

He felt bad, but at the same time, he liked that you were so needy, after calming you down, Gyutaro did what he could to make your moment comfortable, even though he had his ups and downs, and lowest, he loved every second, and if he could he would live them again, but it’s already two in the morning, if they don’t rest they won’t be able to enjoy the next few days. He scratched his own neck, trying to remember something he felt he had forgotten. He gets up hurriedly, going to the bathroom without giving much explanation, leaving you watching television, which doesn’t have anything very interesting to watch, that is, a documentary about praying mantises, they are graceful and with their unique way of living, strangely reminiscent Gyutaro.

Gyutaro returned to the room, his body surrounded by a towel, but still dry, he signaled for you to follow him, you in turn opened your backpack, taking yours and following him, as soon as you entered the bathroom you saw the bathtub full, with lots of water. Foam, and some rubber things, and candles. Your boyfriend looked at your face looking for your approval, even though he told himself that you would like it, he needs you to confirm it, his eyes sparkled with appreciation.

“When did you have time to do this? You’re amazing Gyu..” you couldn’t stop smiling, you could almost feel your eyelashes getting wet.

“so... I had left the bathtub filling before you arrived... I wanted it to be perfect so, I came to finish arranging things here..” he was really looking forward to that day, Gyutaro just won’t admit that he had forgotten the tap running for too long, so the floor is wet.

“Don’t you get tired of being amazing? So strong, affectionate.. handsome..” it was really difficult to praise Gyutaro without him disdaining himself, or silently denying it. But you made a point of showing him that he deserved the praise, the good things he has are his own merit.

“don’t say that.. for you this is just the basics that I can offer..” he loved it when you said sweet things to him, it makes his heart beat like crazy.

“you’ve done much more than any man I’ve ever seen in my life... if you want to know what I think... you’re perfect” showing that he is everything to you is the least you can do.

To make sure Gyutaro wouldn’t start his anxious daydreams and intrusive thoughts, you corner him near the bathtub, signaling him to get in while you undress. Instantly he does so, and turns his face so that you feel more comfortable taking off your clothes, even though you’re going to take a shower anyway, he feels unworthy of looking at your body, just by wishing he imagines you I would feel sick.

He stares at his own reflection in the water between the bubbles, even with the banner with quality products, aromatic candles, he feels dirty, as if he were covered in dirt, and that his presence contaminates the water like a toxin. His heavy sighs make it clear to you the kind of things he already has in mind, knowing him well enough for that was difficult, since he closed himself off from the world.

Without warning him, you enter the water, approaching him immediately, placing yourself between his legs, allowing him the view of your face lying on his chest. The water feels so good surrounding your bodies, relaxing you both, you take the opportunity to show the love your boy deserves. Investing your lips against his collarbone and neck, his mouth, you love how his lips tremble when you get closer, you almost feel like you’re going to devour him, and if you could, you would, a smile forms on your face, the which makes Gyutaro feel nervous, in a good way.

“If we were praying mantises, would you let me eat your head?” You said mischievously.

“I would beg you so” he wasn’t lying.

—

To end your first night, the surprise was now on your part, you had some orders in your backpack, it was great that they arrived at the promised time. You showed Gyutaro two pajamas, a big one with a shark for him, and a seal one for you, you know very well that he is passionate about marine life, he especially loves sharks, especially when you compared him to one. To say he liked it is na understatement, he loved it, it almost flew into his hands when he had it, it’s soft inside, as if it were surrounded by a warm, fuzzy throw.

“What would a slumber party be without pajamas? I have one for Ume too, it’s also a shark, when we make the three of us she will have one too” Gyutaro felt warm inside, and it wasn’t just because of the clothes, you had thought about his sister too, that was more than enough. Enough to make sure he keeps you by his side.

“Thank you.. I know she will like it.. I love you” he said nervously, it was obvious that he loved you, but saying it was difficult, a sudden fear of being rejected stuck in his throat, but now it seemed ideal.

“I love you too... someone perfect like that deserves the whole world” decided to share the sofa to sleep together, you push him slightly so that you can lie down on top of him.

“I would give you the world” he whispers, feeling his eyes getting heavy with each blink, he doesn’t want to sleep, he still wants to have more fun.

“I know so... I will only accept this world if you are with me” your sweet words made him cling to your body, getting drunk on your scent, while caressing your back, watching your breathing gradually become quieter, as the few falling into their deep sleep.

[emeritus-fuckers]

Could I request how the papa's would comfort reader after finding them alone in their room with the big sad

As a person with depression, I feel this one. Decided to include a little scene for all of them. Please keep in mind depression is not the same for everyone else. These scenarios are loosely based on my own experience - Jez

Papas comforting their depressed s/o

Primo

He had a feeling something was wrong, but he never wanted to push your comfort zone.

He would wait, hoping you'd come to him on your own if needed.

That being said, he never assumed he'd end up seeing you like this, though.

He needed your help with something and decided to take a break from his duties, so instead of sending for you, he took a walk to your room.

Knocking quietly, he hesitated when you didn't answer. You could be busy, maybe you weren't there?

He was about to leave before he thought he heard something. A sniffle.

Now, he might be old, but he did spend his youth raising his brothers. He knows a sound of quiet crying. And that's exactly what he heard.

And so he knocked again, this time a bit more firmly before calling out to you.

"I'm gonna come in now, amore." He calls out gently before walking inside your room and closing the door behind himself.

Seeing you there, looking so small and distraught broke his old heart. You were clearly trying your best to pretend you were fine, but he knew. Your eyes, your face... The desperate look you gave him. You craved comfort, yearned for it, but you'd never dare ask. Something in your mind convinced you that you didn't deserve it. And Primo hated that.

"Come here, bambina. Come to Papa." He sat down on the edge of the bed, extending his arms to you. The sincerity of his gaze, the soft look that quietly told you that it's alright... It made you crawl into his embrace, breaking down into tears as he held you and rubbed your back soothingly.

You didn't know long you cried in his arms. But it felt good. It felt good not to feel so awful all the time. To have him chase away the monster that sunk its teeth into your brain and played with your heart. He made it okay. He made it okay to feel vulnerable because he was there for you. If you were to break, his fingers would carefully put you back together like the most precious porcelain doll.

"I don't know what's going on in your mind or heart, amore." He whispered quietly to you. "But a man as old as me can understand himself. And I know that no matter what's happening to you, I'd never leave you to deal with your demons on your own, Lucifer forbid. You don't have to talk to me. But allow me to walk by your side, my love. I want to be there for you, no matter what."

He gently took your hand in his and kissed the back of it, still holding you as tightly as his body would allow it. He made a promise that evening, both to you and himself to always be there for you, no matter what happens. And you appreciated it. Even as your body was getting shaken up with sobs and you couldn't say a word as you just let all your emotions flow, you knew he wouldn't abandon you. And no dark thought could change that.

Secondo

He probably was going to take you to a party.

You wanted to look good for him. You really did. You did your best to look nice and to finally feel like you deserved the wonderful man you were with.

But you couldn't. You've seen the people he partied with before. You were already insecure, but now?

You tried to push away the thought of him cheating on you, but it kept coming back and before you realized it, you started vocalizing your thoughts. Mumbling them to yourself.

And he heard you. You had no idea when he came in the room, but before you realized, you were in his embrace as he slowly started to sway with you while humming a soft tune.

You looked up at him, confused. He wasn't wearing his make-up, he never wore it to parties outside the Ministry, wanting to just be Secondo and not Papa Emeritus II for a few hours.

And now he was here, wasting his time to comfort you instead of getting his well earned break.

"Don't say anything, my dear." He said quietly, slowly dancing with you. You wanted to protest. To tell him to stop wasting his time with someone as worthless as you, but as soon as you tried, he gave you a slight squeeze. "It's fine. You'll tell me when you're ready. And for now, let me comfort you."

"What about the party? You were looking forward to it so much, and..." He gently covered your mouth with his hand and shook his head.

"I was looking forward to getting out of this shithole with you. I like parties, sure, but you're better than any party could ever be."

Secondo rarely gave hugs. They were reserved for special occasions. And this... Was one of them. He gave wonderful hugs, ones that completely let the other person get lost in them. Secondo wasn't the most affectionate person, sure, but when he gave affection, he gave his all.

"Come on, I'm gonna take you somewhere nice, hm?" He offered softly. "We're gonna get everything out of your system, hot stuff."

Terzo

Terzo prides himself on how well he knows his darling. He knows their hobbies, their favorite things, everything one should know in a healthy, loving relationship.

Which is why he knew someone was wrong when you started growing apathetic, avoiding everyone. Avoiding him.

He assumed maybe you just got overstimulated and needed a few days to recharge your social battery.

He asked if everything was okay, but since you said yes, he didn't want to annoy you with digging deeper. But he kept an eye on you.

Which is why he decided to visit you at night. He wanted to burst in with a big smile and your favorite take-out, but then he heard you cry and his plan was gone. He came in quietly, putting the food down and quickly walking over to you.

"Shhh, shhh, it's okay now, I'm here..." He assured you quietly, sitting down and pulling you to sit between his legs, your side resting against his chest. He let you look straight ahead, not wanting to make you deal with the potential stress that might be caused by keeping eye-contact. "Terzo's here, I got you..."

He didn't ask what happened, you'll tell him yourself when you want, won't you? He trusts you, even if you hid how bad you felt. Because to him it doesn't matter that you hid something from him. He understands that sometimes people don't want to share everything that's going on in their minds.

"I brought you food, would you like it? Hm?" He offered gently, stroking your hair as he held you, kissing the top of your head. "I can go ask Primo for some nice herbal tea for you, it always helps me feel better."

"Stay. Please." That was all you had to say to guarantee he would not leave your side tonight. No matter how much you'd cry, he'd still hold you until you let everything out. Until you were ready for him to let go.

"Of course. As long as you'd like, tesoro."

Copia

He's very stressed himself and he would usually calm down spending time with you or playing with his rats.

He loves you a lot. With his whole heart. But he can be a bit oblivious and a bit too trusting.

He won't think anything about you canceling plans last minute. He trusts you and thinks maybe something came up or you just weren't feeling well.

But he does miss you as he gets a bit sulky when he doesn't see you for a while.

It was actually the Ghouls that mentioned to him that you distancing yourself like that isn't really normal and that he should check up on you. And when he does, he's shocked to see you crying. It looked like you've been weeping for hours, maybe even days.

Copia ran over to your side, pulling you into a hug and sputtering apologies for not realizing sooner that you weren't well. He assures you of his love and calls himself an idiot for not being there for you sooner. He actually gets so stressed about everything that he switches to Italian and starts stuttering so much he barely made sense anymore.

Seeing you like this, so broken and hurt... It made him want to cry, too. But he knew he couldn't. This wasn't about him, it was about you. He tried to think, what could comfort you?! What could he do?!

"I know, come on, let's go to my room, okay?" He suggested, switching back to English. "Let's leave the sadness here for now, I'm sure the rats would love to see you. Hm?"

Relief washed over him when you nodded. He took off his hoodie and let you put it on instead, pulling the hood over your head so you wouldn't have to explain your appearance to anyone. And also so you could feel him close to you no matter what.

He quickly took you to him room and let you play with the rats as he ordered your favorite food and made you some tea. He wasn't sure how to deal with it. In fact, he had no idea how to deal with it. But he would die before he let you feel like that any longer.

Old Papa Nihil

He's an old man. He's a simp. Point is: he loves being coddled.

He gets bored easily or he can't sleep at nights.

So he gets the Twins (because he's too lazy to carry around his oxygen tank) and goes to your room.

He's like cat when demanding affection and like a dog when he receives it. Easy to please.

That was the case on the unfortunate evening he saw you. He came to your room, wanting a bit of your attention, but as it turned out, you needed it more than he did.

"Leave us." He ordered. The Twins looked at each other before turning around and slowly leaving without saying anything. Nihil slowly came over to you, dragging his oxygen machine behind him as you stared at him like a deer in headlights. You were shocked to see him there, but also still completely shaken up, choking on your own sobs.

Nihil gently pressed his oxygen mask to your face, letting you take a few deep breaths before pulling it back again and putting it away for now. He's shit at comforting people and he knows that, so he just awkwardly pats your shoulder and offers you a hug, which you quickly accept, clinging to him.

"Tell me what to do."

"Just stay with me. Please." You say so quietly he can barely hear you. But he understands what you said and nods. He can do that. He may be absolutely terrible at comforting people, but he can do his very best to stay with you until you feel better.

"Okay. I will. And you stay with me, too."

Young Papa Nihil

Nihil's first idea on how to deal with most issues was alcohol and sex. Somehow, he failed to see that it was also the source of most of his issues.

Listen, we love Nihil here, but he's a fucking idiot and we embrace that on this blog.

He's a party person, so obviously he wants to take you out to party, too. Maybe find someone you might want a threesome with.

So when you tell him to go without you, he groans a bit, but goes anyway, but it was boring if you weren't there, so he just returned after a few hours, a little tipsy.

For some reason, he goes to your room instead of his. Probably because he associated you with the fun he didn't get to have.

He didn't knock and you forgot to lock the door, so imagine your shock when you see him suddenly enter your room. And imagine his shock when he saw you crying.

"Aw, what's wrong, are you sad Papa wasn't here with you? Come here, Papa's gonna cuddle the fuck out of ya." His attempt at cuddling you was more 'almost falling on top of you', but that's okay. He's surprisingly light.

He squeezed you tightly, nuzzling into your neck, getting his facepaint all over you as he kissed from your cheek to your shoulder.

"You know Papa loves you, right?" He asked, leaving a small hickey on you. It didn't feel sexual, it felt playful and reassuring. Somehow. And even if it was meant to be sexual, he told you once that no matter what his condition might be, when it's you, it's always a 'yes'. "And nothing can change that, yeah?"

Somehow... You knew he knew. Even if he was a bit drunk. You knew he figured you out. And for some reason it felt good that he did. Made you feel more at ease.