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thatblackboianarchist · 3 years ago

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Giftedness is a Spook

I personally think giftedness is a stupid concept. Basically, it’s the idea that certain children, so folks under the age of 18, are “smarter” in some general or abstract sense than others, or more competent, more talented, more skilled, “better thinkers”, whatever. This concept originated pretty much in the 19th and 20th centuries, where we began consolidating under the “intelligence” label and categorizing people based on “how smart” and “how dumb” they are. There is a lot of baggage associated with the term giftedness, a lot of it historical and bigoted, so let’s investigate and such.

The most used definition of giftedness is having an IQ score above 130, or two standard deviations above the mean of 100. Though this historical definition has faced lots of criticism, since it is clearly possible to have superior ability in some domain without having a conventionally high IQ score, such as in the arts, or debating and public speaking, or sports, or chess, or really anything really.

Due to the fact that the “IQ above 130” definition of giftedness falls short of actually capturing all high-achieving children, most modern gifted education programmes no longer use this as the sole indicator of giftedness, and rather adopt a more multidisciplinary approach. Now, most simply look for superior skill or talent in one or more key areas, which can be art, or sports, or leadership, and attempt to cultivate that, as well as looking for people with a generally higher IQ than the average in their age group.

The issue with this approach is that it views giftedness as some sort of intrinsic, fully general, conserved property that is only found in certain sects of the population, and thus categorizes people into “gifted” and “non-gifted”. This categorization falls short in part due to the existence of “twice-exceptional” students, who are gifted in one area, but require unique accommodations in other areas. So it appears that it is possible to be “gifted” and “non-gifted” at the same time, so just how useful is this concept?

What’s more, giftedness often focuses on general cognitive traits, such as gifted children have greater white matter density, or faster information processing speed, or hear sounds faster, or think more critically, but from my perspective, these just seem to be variations in human characteristics, in the same way that some children are taller than others or start puberty earlier than others. Everyone develops at their own pace and there are plenty of people who develop out of the norm, especially since concepts of child development almost always exclude neurodivergent children and their different cognitive and psychosocial milestones.

And they are not necessarily NATURAL or inevitable variations in human characteristics either. All the traits associated with intelligence - information processing speed, critical thinking, white and grey matter density, working memory capacity, creativity, executive functions, enhanced senses - are heavily influenced by societal factors.

For instance, a child that has been well-fed since birth is obviously going to have a more developed brain with a higher capacity for all those things than a child that has suffered chronic hunger. A child that receives nurturing and good parents is going to have a more developed brain a child that receives abusive and neglectful parents. A child that grows up in a war zone is going to be different cognitively and intellectually than a child that grows up in a relatively peaceful location.

And those developmental consequences aren’t always natural in the sense that they are innate, they are artificial, engineered by politicians, corporations, and a society that absolutely refuses to take the suffering of children seriously. Yet the children who have been disadvantaged by this abusive society are unlikely to be categorized as gifted. These children show lower scores on IQ tests and the school system thinks they’re dumb, or worse “average”. These children don’t show superior performance in any particular area, there must be something wrong with them, they’re not “special” like these gifted kids other here. They don’t need special help, they just have to follow the curriculum for the regular or the *gasp* dumb kids, geta 9-to-5 job, and wait 50 years to retire, they won’t be these gifted kids that change the world.

LAME. This is lame. This is the wrong way to think about the differences that exist between children. And what’s worse, it’s so definite and unchanging, as if the traits associated with intelligence cannot be changed. As if we can’t help children with their working memory capacity, or their creativity, or their critical thinking, or their executive functions. As if we can’t help children find something they enjoy and let them cultivate that activity. These are all skills that can be taught, but they aren’t taught at all. We just let the bell curve “form naturally” and then take the kids on the right-half of it and label them “gifted” and then discard the rest, even though we are capable of teaching them those skills.

Giftedness promotes two unhealthy narratives: (1) being average isn’t good enough and (2) being below average is bad. With regards to (1) and (2), it completely ignores all of the facets of a good life, or what can be a good life. In my view, a good life is one that you enjoy and are proud of. Where you have strong relationships with others, actual freedom and control over your life, where you have things that you’re good at or enjoy doing, where you are proud of what you’ve accomplished. It has nothing to do with “having a higher working memory capacity” what the fuck?

There is value in being “average” or “mediocre” or “below average” or “stupid”. You can still produce art that people enjoy. You can still be a good athlete. You can still get really good at a specific area of academia. You can still be a competent engineer. You can still connect with others and mean something to them. You can still travel the world, drink wine condescendingly, and have a good time meeting people and seeing things. You can still contribute to society, and you can even make innovations that change it, but you don’t have to make a “significant contribution” to a worthy member of society. You can still care about others. You already change society, just by being part of it, and that is enough.

Focus on the experiences you want to have, the relationships you want to build, and the skills you want to learn, not on “I want to be smarter” or “I want to have better memory” or “I want to be the best”. It’s okay to want to be smarter, or to have better memory, or even to be the best at something (since it’s not possible to be the best at EVERYTHING), but those things are relative.

When you become “smarter” at something, or the “best” or just better, at some specific domain, you will find that all the traits associated with intelligence tend to increase with regard to that specific domain. For example, when you get better at chess, you develop better problem-solving skills associated with chess, or more critical thinking in regards to games, or better memory for recalling chess piece arrangements or movement formation or techniques, or faster information processing speed in regards to processing your opponent’s and your own moves, or better “chess logic” or “chess reasoning skills”, or the ability to understand and reason about chess on it’s own.

Intelligence is relative and domain-specific, the superior memory you would develop in chess won’t cross over to, say, memorizing decks of cards, or generalize into just having a superior memory for all things. That’s not how human brains work, they are highly specific and skill-oriented. So when you focus on becoming “smarter in general”, you are essentially setting an impossible goal, because it’s not specific enough for you brain to be able to systemically learn and apply it. You have to be specific if you want to make any progress, after all, and this applies to our constructs of giftedness.

We have to be specific! We have to let children choose their interests and hobbies and help them develop natural talents, as well as explore their interests and help them reach a suitable level of competence, where suitability is determined by THEM, the child. When you let them develop interests and hobbies of their own choosing, they naturally will get “smarter” in that area, you know, better working memory and stuff in that regard.

And even if they don’t reach expert levels of performance, or perform averagely or even below average, it doesn’t really matter, since it’s not something they need to be an expert in. For knowledge that is universally relevant, like comprehensive sexual education, you should work on ensuring that your average is a high standard. But if the piece of knowledge or skill doesn’t meet “nigh-universally relevant” or “necessary to function in this society”, then who cares how will people learn it? Especially since they can always come back in the future and re-learn it, or improve on it.

We also have to address child suffering and ensure that all children have good and strong support networks, are well-fed, have medical care, are free from abuse, etc. This makes it easier for them to actually have the time, energy, and cognitive capacity to choose their own interests and hobbies, AND work at them. It also helps them make relationships, explore, learn, and make a good life for themselves.

Also, a quick note. Interests are just things that you like to do or have a feeling for; hobbies are recreational pursuits that you actively engage in. So, an interest can be looking at pictures of castles online, a hobby can be actively seeing castles in person. It’s more or less an arbitrary distinction, but I like to use them in tandem to cover all the bases.

#giftedness #gifted #neurodivergent #school #school system #education system #unschooling #whatever #intelligence #intelligence is fake #reality is complicated #live your life #etc

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tigerkirby215 · 3 years ago

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5e Hank J. Wimbleton, the Protagonist build (Madness Combat)

(Artwork by AndrewKO on Newgrounds.)

Friday Night Funkin’ Tricky Mod reminded me of the Madness Combat series... man it’s a trip in the best possible way. I honestly miss the old days on Newgrounds where stuff like Madness Combat could get extremely popular just off fan reception alone.

Anyways I think the fantasy of playing a bloodthirsty expert killer is something that most people can identify with in D&D, and Hank is certainly a badass in his own right. So while this was mostly a spur-of-the-moment sort of build here’s Hank J. Wimbleton with as many of his abilities I could reasonably put into a build at once, from Madness Combat 1 all the way to Madness Combat 11: Expurgation.

Also I finally get to use artwork from a website other than DeviantArt which is pretty awesome.

GOALS

Avenger - Hank shoots guns good and Madness is a series of guns first and foremost.

Aggregation - Hank is also more than capable in melee combat, being able to use all sorts of weapons including his fists!

Redeemer - Spoilers for Madness Combat 9 I guess.

RACE

The characters in Madness don’t really look like anything in reality, but it’s fairly safe to say that they are meant to be some sort of human. So we’re going to be going for Variant Human: yup not even an Eberron race since we do need everything that Variant Human provides. Increase your Constitution and Dexterity both by 1 and grab Acrobatics proficiency to dodge incoming knife swings and gunfire. And as per standard take whatever language suits your campaign.

Now you’re probably expecting Crossbow Expert as our level 1 feat, right? Or perhaps even Gunner? That’s where you’re wrong! Hank throws punches far earlier than he starts using guns, and he also uses a lot or improvised weapons throughout the mainline Madness Combat series. So grab Tavern Brawler for a +1 to Strength, a d4 unarmed strike (it’s not earth-shattering but it gets the job done), and proficiency with improvised weapons. And the grappling part which honestly doesn’t impact us much, but it’s nice to grab a human shield.

ON THE GUNNER FEAT: Going to make a quick mention now that this build is made under the assumption that your DM will not allow firearms in their campaign, and as a result we will be reflavoring crossbows as firearms. In short we’re not taking the Gunner feat, but if your DM allows it go ahead and take it.

Honestly if your DM allows firearms it would probably be a good idea to play whatever firearm-based class they added to play as Hank, instead of the build I made here. This build however is meant for the average D&D campaign.

ABILITY SCORES

Hank is MAD, rather fittingly. So MAD in fact that I can’t contain the madness within Standard Array. So rejoice we’re actually going to be using Point Buy!

STRENGTH; 9 - The vast majority of Hank’s weapons are either firearms or weapons that I would constitute as finesse based. With the +1 from Tavern Brawler this is still enough for your punches and improvised Strength weapons to pack a punch at least.

DEXTERITY; 15 - As mentioned above we will primarily be using firearms (crossbows) and finesse weapons.

CONSTITUTION; 11 - Mostly to round out the build, which along with the +1 from our race gives us a bit of bulk which will help with all the killing.

INTELLIGENCE; 14 - There’s many ways I can justify this but the easiest way is to say “it’s a multiclassing requirement.”

WISDOM; 14 - Wisdom is tied to perception as well as survival instinct, and is a multiclassing requirement.

CHARISMA; 8 - Hank is of the quiet sort and doesn’t talk much between all the killing. Yes he can intimidate info out of people but you try keeping your cool with a gun pointed to your head.

BACKGROUND

There was a man who sought the sheriff, and to slay the sheriff you’re automatically made a Criminal. I am however going to suggest swapping your skills out for Intimidation and Slight of Hand (IE Gun Tricks.) Feel free to take whatever Gaming Set you want, but thankfully as a Criminal you can choose Land Vehicles as your tool proficiency, because Hank does run over some guys in part 4!

Criminal Contact will let you get in contact with Sanford and Deimos in case you... you know, die? You can always get your message across when needed: D&D doesn’t have computers but you can still find some shady merchants or corrupt guards to get into contact with your crew.

(Artwork by redemer19 on Newgrounds.)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - ARTIFICER 1

Starting off as an Artificer because CON saving throw proficiency is nice. So is proficiency in Investigation, Perception, and a tool of your choice.

Tinkerer’s Tools technically counts as gunsmith tools if we go with Matt Mercer’s homebrew, but you already get those for free (along with Thieves’ Tools) as an Artificer. I personally opted for Smith’s Tools as the next best option which will also double for taking care of swords and knives.

You can also get a Boombox to dance to thanks to Magical Tinkering. You can infuse magic into a Tiny object to give it a variety of effects: make it glow, have it display a message, or most importantly have it play the Chicken Dance song. You can have a number of these equal to your Intelligence modifier, which is to say not many.

You do also get Spellcasting: You get two cantrips from the Artificer list: Mage Hand will let you grab a weapon for yourself that’s out of reach, and Acid Splash will serve as a starter shotgun for some buckshot against multiple enemies. As for your leveled spells you can prepare a number of spells equal to your Intelligence modifier plus half your Artificer level, which is to say... not many. Feather Fall can be useful when up in high places, and Detect Magic is universally useful for finding any anomalies created by the Improbability Drive.

LEVEL 2 - ARTIFICER 2

The main reason we went for Artificer first is Infusions, gear you can bring at the start of the fight for an upper hand. Of course the main weapon we’ll be grabbing is the Repeating Shot Weapon which will be how you make basically all your guns. Not having to reload is nice and not having to worry about ammo is better!

ON YOUR WEAPONS: For now the only weapon you can reasonably use is a Light Crossbow, however soon you’ll be able to put Repeating Shot on either a Heavy Crossbow (rifle) or Hand Crossbow (pistol) depending on your preference.

Other than that you can borrow from Sanford’s book and make a Returning Weapon to throw a hook and pull it back, create Sending Stones to keep in touch with your crew, and have a Rope of Climbing to sneak into the sheriff’s office. Or you can choose your own tools for the job as I am merely suggesting what makes the most sense for Hank, but the Repeating Shot Weapon is the only one you truly need.

You can also prepare another spell like Identify, to know what weapon you’re picking up.

LEVEL 3 - RANGER 1

This is a bit out of left field isn’t it? Well Ranger gives a number of things, the first of which being Stealth proficiency for your initial entrance. You also get Deft Explorer (instead of Natural Explorer) for Canny, giving you two languages (pick your poison) and Expertise in one skill of your choice (go for Acrobatics to evade attacks and stay alive.)

You also get Favored Foe (instead of Favored Enemy), letting you concentrate on an enemy’s weak points to kill them quickly. When you hit an enemy you can choose to mark them so they take an extra d4 of damage once per turn from your attacks. You do have to concentrate on this effect (like a spell) but aiming for the head is a good way to end someone quickly.

LEVEL 4 - RANGER 2

Second level Rangers get to choose their Fighting Style and you’re probably expecting me to tell you to take Archery, right? Well even if you’re mostly going to be using guns you do have proficiency with melee weapons too, and since our Strength is kinda bad I’d suggest taking Druidic Warrior for some simple boosts to your combat proficiency.

Shillelagh will be a good place to start by letting you swing a blunt object with your Wisdom instead of your Strength. The main weapons Hank uses in the Madness series other than shortswords is clubs, bats, and pipes which I’d all consider as viable targets for Shillelagh if your DM’s cool.

Mending will be useful to keep your outfit in check after taking a bad hit.

Feel free to take Archery if you want as it’s likely more useful for this build. Again I am opting for what’s the most accurate for Hank, not for what’s the most optimal to build.

But if you want to keep yourself in check after taking a bad hit you can grab some Ranger Spellcasting. Cure Wounds will let you bandage yourself (or an ally) up in the thick of a fight, and Zephyr Strike will let you rush in while avoiding danger to deliver a deadly strike on a key foe.

LEVEL 5 - RANGER 3

There’s quite a few reasons we didn’t go for Rogue levels in this build (spoilers btw): Hank does most of his fighting solo, doesn’t really opt for stealth except for at the start of missions, and because the Gloom Stalker is far better for how Hank operates. For a start you get Umbral Sight for 60 feet of Darkvision with your dumb human eyes, but you can also hide in the dark so well that even creatures with darkvision can’t see you! Which is good because Dread Ambusher gives you a bonus to initiative rolls equal to your Wisdom modifier along, but more importantly lets you move 10 feet faster on the first round of combat. And you can also attack one extra time on the first round of combat, and if you hit with that extra attack you’ll deal an extra d8 damage to down a foe quick and give yourself more options.

You can learn a new spell at this level like Hail of Thorns for some buckshot, and you also get Gloom Stalker Magic, adding Disguise Self to your spell list so you can look like a regular dude who isn’t covered with bandages. You also get Primal Awareness, because even if Speak With Animals makes no sense for Hank it’s still better than Primeval Awareness.

(Artwork by LegendaryPanettone on Newgrounds.)

LEVEL 6 - RANGER 4

4th level Rangers get an Ability Score Improvement: Dexterity controls everything we do currently so increase that by 2 for better AC, shooting, sword-swinging, and DEX saves.

LEVEL 7 - RANGER 5

5th level Rangers get an Extra Attack, allowing them to shoot twice and even allowing you specifically to shoot 3 times on your first turn!

You can also learn second level Ranger spells now: Primal Awareness gives you Beast Sense and Gloom Stalker Magic gives you Rope Trick for a place to hide and ambush from. And Enhance Ability (ty Tasha’s) will let you push yourself when violence is needed.

LEVEL 8 - RANGER 6

6th level Rangers see Favored Foe turn into a d6 to be somewhat on-par with Hunter’s Mark. You also get Roving from Deft Explorer for 5 extra feet of movement, as well as a swimming and climbing speed.

But now that you’ve gotten all your killing done it’s time to die. Because you do not kill clown; clown kills you!

(Artwork by Jinxsaw on Newgrounds.)

LEVEL 9 - ARTIFICER 3

You can’t kill the protagonist! We’re at 9th level which translates perfectly to Madness Combat 9, which means you can be revived as an Armorer Artificer! Your consciousness will be placed inside of a suit of Arcane Armor, replacing any missing limbs you may have and genuinely account for all your injuries. The armor also doesn’t have a Strength requirement and can be used as a focus for your Artificer spells.

There’s two different Armor Models to choose from but for now I’d suggest keeping to guns and going for the Infiltrator model (mostly because your Intelligence is bad so it would be better to opt for Dexterity to fire your guns.) The Lightning Launcher is like a handgun except it has very good range (90/300) and does Lightning Damage, and even lets you do an extra d6 damage once per turn! You also get Powered Steps for an extra 5 feet of movement speed (adding up to 40 total thanks to Ranger!) and a Dampening Field will give you Advantage on Stealth due to your black outfit.

You also get some Armorer Spells: Magic Missile for some unavoidable gunfire and Thunderwave to give yourself some space. You can also choose a different set of Artisan’s Tools from Tools of the Trade since you likely already have Smith’s Tools proficiency. You can pick whatever you think will be useful, but it’s worth mentioning that you can make a tool with 1 hour of work thanks to The Right Tool for the Job. And no Hank; weapons are not tools. At least not by this definition.

LEVEL 10 - ARTIFICER 4

4th level Artificers get an Ability Score Improvement. Wouldn’t it make sense to increase your Intelligence as an Artificer now that you can use your Armorer weapons with INT? Yes. Anyways increase your Dexterity by 2.

WOULD IT HAVE MADE MORE SENSE TO MAX OUT INTELLIGENCE FOR THIS BUILD? Yes. Now that you have Armorer levels you’re basically never going to be using crossbows again realistically. Oops. Having good INT instead of good DEX would mean that you could start using the Guardian armor to punch some stuff, and 14 in DEX would still allow you to wear Medium armor. You could’ve easily taken 3 (or more realistically 5) levels in Artificer at the start of this build and then gone for Ranger to not have to deal with bad ranged weapons while having good stats for an Artificer.

There’s still strengths to having high DEX obviously (good initiative, good Stealth and Acrobatics checks, good DEX saves, and you get Mirror Image as an Armorer Artificer) but it’s really not that important for this build. But I’m still maxing it out first as it’s accurate to Hank. In the average D&D campaign you’re not going to be picking up weapons from enemies you kill to use them when you run out of ammo. There’s many things I took in this build that are impractical for anything other than a combat heavily inspired by Madness Combat.

Basically feel free to min-max this build if you so desire; it’s quite viable in its own right when you do so. Again I’m trying for accuracy over viability. Also P.S. After this build comes out I’m going to release a “pre-MC9″ Hank build if you want more of the traditional Hank who isn’t in power armor.

You can also prepare another spell at this level but we’re going to wait for...

LEVEL 11 - ARTIFICER 5

5th level Artificers get an Extra Attack... which you already have. Oops.

Well at least you get access to second level spells! As an Armorer you get Mirror Image to dodge gunfire, and Shatter! For a grenade! But to continue dodging attacks Blur works well as long as the enemy doesn’t have Truesight, which the AAHW may have by total level 11.

LEVEL 12 - ARTIFICER 6

6th level Artificers can prepare more Infusions! A Spell-Refueling Ring will let you restock on spell slot bullets mid-fight, and Boots of the Winding Path will let you jump back after getting into melee combat.

You also get Tool Expertise which is exactly what it says on the tin. You double your proficiency bonus when making checks with tools.

To top it off you can prepare another spell like Catapult. Why are we preparing a first level spell? Because Hank throws big rocks at Tricky in Madness 11. Told you I did research.

(Artwork by ramblinshroom on Newgrounds.)

LEVEL 13 - ARTIFICER 7

7th level Artificers get to feel the pain of my choice to max out Dexterity instead of Intelligence as Flash of Genius scales heavily off Intelligence. When you or an ally within 30 feet makes an ability check or a saving throw you can use your reaction to add your Intelligence modifier to the roll. You can use this feature a number of times equal to your Intelligence modifier and regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest.

LEVEL 14 - ARTIFICER 8

8th level Artificers get another Ability Score Improvement and now that your Dexterity is maxed out... more Wisdom lol? Look we’ll deal with your Intelligence in a bit but Wisdom gives you better initiative among other things.

You can also prepare another spell but next level will get us third level spells, so...

LEVEL 15 - ARTIFICER 9

9th level Artificers can get used to their new revived bodies thanks to Armor Modifications. The chest, boots, helmet, and weapons of your armor all count as individual items for the sake of infusions, and you can have two more infusions active! (As long as they’re on your armor anyways.)

You also get Hypnotic Pattern and Lightning Bolt as an Armorer, for a flashbang and some purgatory powers. And you can prepare a spell like Haste, to move so fast it’s like the world is in slow motion.

LEVEL 16 - ARTIFICER 10

So you know how we just got two more infusions for your armor? Well 10th level Artificers can make Gauntlets of Ogre Power and a Headband of Intellect to finally get your Strength and Intelligence to a reasonable level. Again probably a bit late to do so but it does mean that you can finally use melee weapons well, or your Guardian Armor to do some punching! (I’m not going to cover the Guardian Armor now but know that you can punch people and give them disadvantage to hit your allies, and also give yourself Temporary hitpoints.)

And the best part is that you can still keep attuned to other useful items as Magic Item Adept gives you one more attunement slot, meaning that you can be attuned to 4 items total!

And to top it off more Intelligence means more spells and holy shit another cantrip! For your cantrip you can finally take Message to keep in contact with your party, and for your leveled spells...

People die a lot in Nevada: Revivify can help if one of those people are a friend.

See Invisibility will help you avoid ambushes.

Lesser Restoration can help you in a pinch if you’re pinned down.

But again I seriously can not stress enough that you are more than welcome to pick spells that you feel are stronger, as I am merely picking spells for a simple guy who really likes killing.

(Artwork by marcipancakes on Newgrounds.)

LEVEL 17 - RANGER 7

Very quickly going back to Ranger to grab the last few abilities we missed: 7th level Gloom Stalkers have an Iron Mind for proficiency with Wisdom saves. Yup that’s it. Well at least you can add () to your Ranger spell list.

LEVEL 18 - RANGER 8

8th level Rangers get Land Stride to not be slowed down by the difficult terrain during Expurgation, and even giving yourself advantage against magical terrain made to harm you in purgatory.

But more importantly you get an Ability Score Improvement to pump your Wisdom up a little more. But really I only waited this long to get Ranger 8 to talk about Martial Versatility from Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything: talk to your DM about it but I’d actually suggest grabbing Archery proper now instead of Druidic Warrior because you’ve got the Strength to use weapons.

Oh yeah you could also totally like... use the Guardian armor and carry a repeating crossbow for ranged combat.

LEVEL 19 - ARTIFICER 11

11th level Artificers can bring out the heavy artillery with a Spell-Storing Item. You can store a first or second level spell from the Artificer spell list in one simple or martial weapon (or a spellcasting focus) that requires 1 action to cast.

While holding the object, a creature can take an action to produce the spell’s effect from it, using your spellcasting ability modifier. If the spell requires concentration, the creature must concentrate. The spell stays in the object until it’s been used a number of times equal to twice your Intelligence modifier (minimum of twice) or until you use this feature again to store a spell in an object.

There are plenty of good spells you can choose from but I’m going to just say this: put Shatter in the item. There are perhaps more useful choices, but isn’t a grenade belt the embodiment of Madness?

LEVEL 20 - ARTIFICER 12

12th level Artificers get our last Ability Score Improvement which means hey: maxed out Wisdom! Yes there are perhaps feats you could get (some ideas I’d suggest would be either the Dual Wielder feat [carry a Repeating Hand Crossbow in one hand and your magical fist in the other] or the Sharpshooter feat) but I simply opted for maxing out stats.

And you can prepare one more spell like... I don’t know? Blink for more dodging?

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Abrogation - I came into this build with the intent of making you capable with all weapons regardless of type and well... I certainly accomplished that. You have good Dexterity for any finesse and ranged weapons and your Strength is strong enough to swing a bat around.

Antipathy - You are also damn capable in combat with an insane opening turn and very good DPS regardless of if you choose to fight with fists or guns, not to mention a good supply of spells and class abilities to truly slaughter your foes.

Apotheosis - It wasn’t my intent but... 20 in two stats and 19 in two others? Excluding your Charisma and Constitution you’re a superhuman of a man.

CONS

Depredation - You have to be level 16 to finally get a decent Strength and Intelligence score, and while low STR doesn’t matter much low INT really hurts as an Artificer.

Consternation - “High stats except Constitution” is a problem. Honestly going 15 in Artificer and 5 in Ranger would’ve gotten you level 15 infusions for a Hill Giant’s Belt for 21 STR and an Amulet of Health for 19 CON.

Inundation - There’s a lot of little tweaks worth changing in this build, notably the focus on Dexterity versus Intelligence. Realistically having 20 INT and 14 DEX is more useful for you as an Artificer than having 19 INT and 20 DEX.

But who cares if it’s messy; as long as it’s effective. Killing everyone somewhere in Nevada will give you plenty of experience to reach your maximum Madness level. You are the Protagonist and they are the Victims... but don’t go into any D&D campaigns with that mentality, or else you may be the Clown.

(Artwork by Teknodice on Newgrounds.)

#dnd #dnd 5e #dnd build #dnd guide #Newgrounds #Madness Combat #madness hank #Hank J. Wimbleton #dnd ranger #dnd artificer

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hotchnersbiitch · 4 years ago

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Perfection

A/N: I hope you beautiful babes are having a good day. I know the GIF doesn't really go with the theme of the imagine but he’s just so cute oml

Request: No

Paring: Spencer Reid x reader

Category: fluff and angst

Warning: crying and self deprecation

Word count: 1,131 ~ 4min 31 sec -

College is hard, everyone knows that, especially when you're going back to school to get your Master’s Degree. You were eager to get your test grade back on an exam you took earlier in the week, it was taking your professor longer than usual to get the grades in. You weren’t too worried, you're a great student all A’s, but still, you always wanted to go above and beyond so anything under an A was unacceptable for you. You held your self at high standards, you needed to have everything perfect and you wanted to excel at everything you did. I mean, who doesn't? You didn’t have any classes today so you just worked on some assignments and did you and your fiancés' laundry. You were in the laundry room folding up the clothes from the dryer when you heard the front door handle jiggle then open, you knew it was Spencer coming home from a paperwork day.

“Hi Spence, I’m in the laundry room,” you call out as you folded a pair of Spencer's dress pants. You smiled when you saw your handsome fiancé in front of you, you set the now folded pants in the hamper before waking over placing a kiss on Spencer's pink lips.

“How was work my love?” You ask wrapping your arms around him for a hug, he smiled and kissed the top of your head.

“Good, I’m just glad to be home with my lady. How was your day?” he asked as you pulled away from the hug and went back to folding the laundry.

“Good, I worked on some assignments for a few of my classes and just have been tidying up and knocking out some laundry.” You explained, Spencer leaned against the washer watching you as you folded clothes. He smiled softly to himself, how did he ever get so lucky?

“That's good, I’ll make dinner tonight what do y-” he was cut off by your phone dinging. You perked up and grabbed your phone off the top of the dryer looking to see what it was, it was an alert from the grade book. You had your grade book hooked up onto your phone so whenever a grade got put in you would be alerted, you unlocked your phone as Spencer continued.

“Anyways, what do you want for dinner tonight?” he asked, you ignored his question and your face dropped when you saw the C- on your screen. Spencer immediately noticed.

“What's wrong? What is it?” he asked standing up straight, walking over to you. Your vision clouded with tears as you refreshed the page hoping the C- would go away. There's no way that right, right?

“That can't be right Spencer, it cant.” You mumble as he looked at your phone screen, he just sighs softly placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

“It's just a C- hun, it's not that bad, it's okay,” he says softly kissing your head knowing you were upset. You locked your phone before setting it down and bursting out into tears.

“Spencer its not okay! This is bad, I get A’s on everything! you know that I can't have C- I work too hard to get a C- on a test.” you say crying and walked to the couch to sit down, Spencer following suit.

“Y/N it is okay, you can’t be so hard on yourself, its just one bad test score,” he explains wrapping an arm around you.

“That's easy for you to say! You're a genius I know for a fact you got good grades on everything when you were in school,” you say, spencer takes in a deep breath and tilts your chin up so you are looking at him.

“This isn't about me. This is about you and how you feel. One average test score isn't going to ruin your total grade baby.”

“How could I be so stupid, Spencer” You mumble looking up at him.

“I'm supposed to be smart, I can't believe this. I study so hard, I work my ass off. I must be a fucking idiot.” you cry looking back down tears dripping onto your black leggings. Spencer huffed and forced you to look at him again.

“Don’t you say that you are so so intelligent. I admire how hard you work, you're doing everything right. One bad grade doesn't define your intelligence. Besides, a C- is just average. You'll come back from it honey, college is hard. You're taking honor classes which makes it even harder. You should be proud of yourself because I bet a lot of other students weren't as lucky to get a C- on a test.” he says pulling you into his lap, he hated hearing you talk down to yourself like this, it broke his heart.

“I don't want to be average, I want to be the best I can possibly be,” you say calming your self down as you lay your head on spencer's shoulder.

“You are not average. You are amazing, you're at the top of your class. You work so hard, everyone has a bad test grade once in a while. Its only human, you can’t hold your self at such high standards. Because sometimes you won't reach them and that's okay, you can't let it bring you down like this, it's not healthy.” Spencer says in a calm voice as he rubs circle on you back. You sniffle and wipe your eyes with the back of your hand before lifting your head off his shoulder. He looked at you with a small smile and caressed your cheek with his thumb.

“You okay now? I don’t like it when you talk bad about yourself. To me you are perfect, I want you to see yourself how I see you.” He says softly and you nuzzle your cheek into his touch and nod.

“I know. I'm sorry, I just got so worked up, I know its not the end of the world,” you said softly placing a kiss on his lips.

“Whenever you get your test back I’ll go over it with you and we will see where you went wrong okay? But right now how about we cuddle, order some Chinese food, and watch a movie.” He suggests and you smile and nod.

“I like the sound of that,” you say getting off his lap to grab the remote, he moves so he is laying on the couch. You come back and hand him the remote before getting in between his legs and laying your head on his chest. Spencer smiles draping his free arm over you as he turned on a movie for both of you. You were so grateful you had someone like Spencer to be there for you and reassure that everything will be okay.

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grailfinders · 4 years ago

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Fate and Phantasms #155

Today on Fate and Phantasms we're going back to the Servant Universe to preserve the Saber Empire, thanks to Mysterious Heroine X Alter! This mysterious heroine is a Psi Warrior Fighter for her legally-not-a-lightsaber skills and some legally-not-the-force, and a Bladesinger Wizard for more saber skills and legally-not-the-force lightning.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: Once again, we came so close to making a build at an appropriate time. Oh well, he’s not one for the spotlight anyway.

Race and Background

You might come from another dimension, but you're still Human (er, servant), giving you +1 Dexterity, +1 Constitution, Acrobatics proficiency to help with the impractical swordfighting style you specialize in, and the Mage Slayer feat to ruin the original MHX's day. If a creature within 5 feet of you casts a spell, you can use your reaction to attack them. Your damage also causes concentration checks at a disadvantage, and you get advantage on saves against spells cast within 5 feet of you. MHX is pretty far from a mage, but this will interrupt her saber-tracking efforts.

That being said, you're still about as Far a Traveler as you can get, giving you proficiency with Insight and Perception.

Ability Scores

You are renowned for your ability to knock back sweets, and it's really hard to poison someone who literally has a reactor for a stomach, so we're gonna make your Constitution number one here. After that is going to be Intelligence, you did come from a science fiction world after all, I'm sure you know more than the average bear. Following that up is Dexterity, your armor is at most light, and no matter what form your sword takes it's still a light saber. Your Charisma isn't too bad, you've gotta be able to talk people into buying you mochi after all. Staying under that kotatsu all the time means your Strength isn't great, but we're dumping Wisdom. You want more saber faces in the world, if anything an 8's too much.

Class Levels

1. Fighter 1: First level fighters get proficiency in every weapon, and considering your sword can turn into a chainsaw I'd say that'll come in handy. You also get proficiency with Strength and Constitution saves, as well as two fighter skills. Intimidation matches your dark knight schtick, and Survival will help you cook up some sweets when you're left on your own.

You also get a Fighting Style. Your light saber comes in a variety of packages, but most of them are one handed. That means Dueling will be the most useful for you, giving you +2 on damage rolls while using only one one-handed weapon.

You also get the bonus action Second Wind, letting you stuff yourself with sweets to heal a bit once per short rest.

2. Fighter 2: Second level fighters get an Action Surge, letting you add an action to your turn once per short rest. You spent so much time lazing around, you were just... saving up for when it counted. Yeah.

3. Fighter 3: If you want to be a sith knockoff, you can't go wrong with being a Psi Warrior. When you take the subclass you gain Psionic Powers, powered by psionic dice. They're d6s (that grow when you level up) equal to twice your proficiency bonus that recharge on short rests. Currently, you can use them in three ways.

Your Protective Field lets you spend a reaction and a die to reduce the incoming damage a creature near you is taking by the die roll plus your intelligence modifier.

A Psionic Strike adds the roll + int mod in force damage to a weapon attack to light up your saber once per turn.

You can also use Telekinetic Movement to move a large or smaller object/willing creature up to 30 feet. You can do this once per short rest for free, or by using up a psionic die.

4. Fighter 4: Use this ASI to bring up your Dexterity so your sword skills aren't as bad. You're a saber after all, you've gotta be on your A game! You are a saber, right?

5. Fighter 5: Fifth level fighters get an Extra Attack. It isn't exactly rocket science, but it is very useful.

6. Wizard 1: Moving over to wizard now nets you an Arcane Recovery, helping you recover a couple spell slots on a short rest once per long rest.

Speaking of, you also learn Spells. So many spells. They use your Intelligence for casting and preparation. You get stuff like Shocking Grasp for a cheap force lightning, Mage Hand for some telekinesis that doesn't use resources, your standard gish setup, Mage Armor to make your hoodie worth something, and Absorb Elements to put that magic reactor in your chest to good use.

And that's only some of the spells you could use! Check the character sheet for more.

7. Wizard 2: If you want to blur the line between nerd and sith lord like we do, Bladesinger is a pretty good choice. You get Training in War and Song, which gives you a bunch of proficiencies you already have from fighter as well as Performance. Foreshadowing!

You can also perform a Bladesong proficiency times per long rest if you aren't using heavy armor or two-handed weapons. The song lasts a minute and uses a bonus action to start. While active, you add your Intelligence modifier to your AC and concentration saves, your walking speed goes up by 10, you have advantage on acrobatics checks.

You can also Cause Fear as part of your membership with the Dark R.O.U.N.D.S., and you also get some sci-fi gadgets to Detect Magic.

8. Wizard 3: Third level wizards get second level spells, with Magic Weapon making your light saber a bit fancier and Dragon's Breath for a more dramatic (and consistent!) use of your lightning powers.

9. Fighter 6: Bouncing back to fighter for a bit nets you another ASI to bump up your Intelligence for stronger spells and telekinesis. Again, not flashy but very useful.

10. Fighter 7: Seventh level psi knights gain two new ways to use their psionic dice thanks to being Telekinetic Adepts.

You can use a Psi-Powered Leap once per short rest or by using a psionic die to gain a flying speed equal to 2x your walking speed for the turn for big anime jumps. Dramatically launching yourself at your foes for air combat framed by the moonlight has never been easier.

Alternatively, your Telekinetic Thrust empowers your Psionic Strike, forcing a strength save (dc 8+proficiency+intelligence mod). If they fail the save, you can either knock the target prone or push them 10 feet in any horizontal direction.

11. Wizard 4: Back in wizard for a bit. This level gives you another ASI, so grab the Telekinetic feat, which increases your Intelligence by 1, lets you cast Mage Hand without making it obvious and with an increased range, and you can make telekinetic shoves as a bonus action, pushing a creature 5 feet away or towards you if they fail a strength save.

You also learn the cantrip Green-Flame Blade which makes your saber give off a bit more light and the spells Enhance Ability to activate your true power that's been sealed away for millennia. You also also get Levitate to force choke some people. They don't take damage from the spell, but it opens them up for you walloping them, so same difference.

12. Wizard 5: Fifth level wizards get third level spells, Haste lets you run anime fast for up to a minute- you also get advantage on dex saves and +2 to your AC, but after the spell ends you have to take a nap. You also get the big guns- Lightning Bolt. 100 feet of range, dealing 8d6 lightning damage to creatures that fail a dexterity save. An elegant lightning spell from a more civilized age.

13. Wizard 6: Sixth level bladesingers get something very special: an Extra Attack! It still doesn't stack with your fighter one, but now you can use a cantrip in place of one of your attacks! Roast them with lightning then hit 'em with a sword!

You can also use Fear to be an intimidating presence to multiple people at once, and Catnap to pull out the kotatsu.

14. Fighter 8: Use this ASI to bump up your Dexterity once more for even better weapon attacks and AC.

15. Fighter 9: Ninth level fighters get Indomitable, letting you re-roll a failed save once per long rest. Don't even bother with the wisdom saves, it's not going to happen.

16. Fighter 10: Tenth level Psi Knights have a Guarded Mind, letting you resist psychic damage and burn psi dice to end effects that are charming or frightening you at the start of a turn. See? Told you you didn't have to worry about wisdom saves!

17. Fighter 11: Congratulations on yet another Extra Attack! To be honest, I'm not entirely sure how that stacks with your bladesinger attacks, but that's a headache for your DM to figure out!

18. Fighter 12: Another ASI, bump up your Int again for more AC, Spells, and telekinesis.

19. Fighter 13: Thirteenth level fighters get a second use of Indomitable per long rest, and it's totally not because WotC was running out of ideas, no sir!

20. Fighter 14: Your capstone level is another ASI, which we'll use to get your bond CE thanks to Servo Crafting! You use Find Familiar as a ritual to create a little robot buddy who acts mostly like a normal familiar. Aside from that, you can see and speak through the servo as long as it's on the same plane, and you can ignore one of your own attacks to let the little buddy attack instead. Honestly this probably would have been more useful way earlier, but it's a bond CE, what did you expect?

Pros:

Your various forms of telekinesis give you a great deal of battlefield control, helping you manipulate the positions of enemies and allies to your advantage.

You also have great saves with two of the big three: dexterity and Constitution. Add on the fact that you can shut down the biggest problems caused by failed wisdom saves practically at will, and you're a big threat for magic users.

While your physically aren't great at burst damage like assassins or paladins, you make up for that with gobs of consistency and longevity in melee combat. You've got almost 200 HP, and an AC of 13 + your dexterity mod (4) and your intelligence mod (4). 21 AC in a hoodie is not bad at all!

Cons:

While you can shut off the worst of it, your Wisdom saves are atrocious, and will still cause you problems against illusions.

While it doesn't come into effect until very late into the build, the weirdness surrounding how your extra attacks mesh will have to be addressed eventually

Servo Crafting really doesn't do anything for your build. Not only is it not useful, if you were willing to get rid of it you could invest more into wizard levels and get Bigby's Hand for a real force choke.

#fgo #Fate Grand Order #D&D 5e #Mysterious Heroine X Alter #dnd #Fighter #Wizard

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mrsmaddiebobaddie · 4 years ago

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MCYT High School Teacher AU

I don’t know if this has already been done but with student teaching on the brain this was invading my subconscious.

Phil: Principal

The most chill admin you’d ever find (He kind of has to be with the staff at the school)

Will let most things slide if you ask nicely

Has a quiet space in his office for students to take a moment to calm down after acting out. He’ll offer them candy and talk through the situation with them.

Started out as a counselor at the school, so he still holds a similar mentality when it come to talking with students and staff.

Always takes the side of his staff. The district is usually in the wrong anyway.

He knows the teachers are the experts, screw whatever requirements the state has, he lets them run their classrooms whichever way is best for the students’ learning

Technoblade: Literature & Composition

One of the most engaging teachers at the school

Most students love him because he’s real and he’ll tell it like it is.

Has a coffee machine in his room. It’s rare that he’s not holding a mug in his hand while he teaches

Has high expectations for his students

Rarely gets angry. Even when he’s upset he still comes across as calm.

Usually stays at the school late making sure to give the best possible feedback on papers and reports. He genuinely wants each kid to learn something from his class.

Tommy: Speech and Debate

It’s only his second year of teaching

The students would run the classroom if not for Tommy basically being a student himself

There’s a strong chance his class will be off topic at any given point. It’s always an adventure walking past his door, you never know what you’ll hear

Somehow still gets high scores on average from his students

Keeps students after class when he notices them struggling with school or life in general to talk with them. The conversations are always beneficial.

Will 100% fall asleep during professional development meetings.

Karl: Biology

Tries to act hip, fails most of the time.

Always has the most energy in his lessons, finds unique ways to teach the concepts other than slides and worksheets.

Usually the first one in the building each morning

Will give students different options for final projects so they can chose the best method of showing their evidence of learning.

Gets lower scores than he should on observations because he doesn’t do well under the pressure. One year Phil didn’t announce when he’d be coming in and watched from the door to give a more accurate review.

Wears a sweatshirt to class more often than he should

Quackity: Spanish

Hands on learning whenever possible

Uses the home ec. room to make authentic Mexican dishes with his students when they cover the food and restaurant unit

Will just forget that the kids don’t speak Spanish fluently and ramble on until someone interrupts him.

Slow grader, you get your scores when you get them.

Known to be a bit chaotic with his teaching style, it works for some kids but he does need to reteach certain sections every now and then

One time a kid feel asleep in his class so he had all the other students leave and they had class outside to freak the kid out (They were right outside the classroom window, he could still see the sleeper, he told Phil)

Skeppy: Algebra

Like’s his job, pretty much your average teacher

Can’t stand freshmen, but tolerates them since that’s half the students he has. He prefers teaching advanced algebra to upper classmen

His lessons are always formatted the same, starting with a lesson on how to do that days math, with the remainder of the period being free work time

Holds math challenges with his class and gives out prizes. It’s usually candy, though one time he gave out cash. He made his kids promise not to say a word about it.

Very good at teaching the same math concepts in different ways to help struggling learners

Always one minute away from being late for first period, but makes it just in time every morning.

Dream: Health/Football and Assistant Basketball Coach

Took the teaching job mainly to coach sports

Still cares about making connections with his students, he uses his class to teach life skills and promote positive social and mental health.

If any of his players are in his class he will pick on them. He has no mercy.

Dreads sex education because no one can be mature about it. He gets revenge by making the students film a “how to say no to sex” video with someone in the class.

His wheeze laugh is iconic. You can hear it from down the hall.

If you meet with him and are honest when you’re struggling, he’ll work with you to pass his class. He isn’t going to ruin your GPA over a project on the negative effects of smoking.

Wilbur: History & Geography/Theater

The teacher who sits on his desk when he lectures

Is very sarcastic with his students, but knows who can take the teasing and makes sure not to make anyone feel uncomfortable.

Prefers class discussion over solo work time, he likes hearing student’s perspectives and ideas.

Turtlenecks

One of the teachers most likely to be the crush of teenage girls.

Not afraid to mark you down for sloppy work. You use a black ink pen and draw precise lines when turning in maps and graphs or you redo it.

Speaks in musical references

George: Physics

The chillest teacher by far

Due dates? Don’t worry, he’ll accept an assignment literally months after it was supposed to be turned in

Makes difficult topics seems simple when he describes them

He doesn’t really care if you have your phone out in class as long as you’re paying attention and learning the material

The students straight up call him George, he doesn’t seem to care

Placing near the top for the most crushed on teacher

King of multiple choice questions

Eret: Economics & Government

Makes any student in his class feel welcome

One of few teachers who can lecture the entire period without students falling asleep. He always has interesting stories

Let’s kids chose where they sit

Freshmen are always caught off guard by his voice when they hear him for the first time

Spends too much of his own money on supplies for his students and classroom (Honestly most teachers have to spend their own money on necessary supplies, he just goes about and beyond.)

There’s always a group of students who eat lunch in his classroom

The Union Rep at their school, will fight tooth and nail for the staff members

Tubbo: Band Director

Super cheerful whenever he’s teaching

He rarely has any free time before or after school because he has so many one-on-one lessons and meetings with students

Likes to have practice outside when the weather is nice

Does his best to make his students feel comfortable and relaxed whenever he does performance based assessments.

He’s also a new teacher, but you honestly wouldn’t be able to tell

He will be in tik toks if you ask him to, and he’s familiar with all the pop culture trends

Let’s the students chose a song to play at the last band concert. Some years have been less chaotic than others, the worst (or best, depending on who you ask) being when the students voted to play Deja Vu from Initial D.

Fundy: Computer Science/Coding

Begins each class with a cheesy computer joke. Every class.

Everyone knows you can’t get anything past him technology wise. He can see that headphone in your ear from across the room.

Isn’t afraid to assign extra work when students are disrupting class

Once took up an entire class period showing his students how he coded different difficulties in Minecraft. He wasn’t ashamed to admit that he plays the game in his spare time.

About half the students in his class aren’t really interested in computers, they just want to have him as a teacher since everyone says he’s cool.

Known to hack school computers to bypass restrictions

Sucker for pizza parties. Has at least one per semester

Sapnap: PE/Basketball Coach

Hella competitive

Abuses his power of having a whistle. Someone should really take it away from him

Gyms shorts every day. Even in the winter. Sometimes he wears sweats, but never jeans.

Doesn’t let anyone sit out of activities

Tries to set up fun tournaments for each activity they do, makes sure to balance the teams so no one has too much of an upper hand.

He’s usually the teacher who mans detention, he tries to make it as positive as it can be though.

Keeps extra sets of gym clothes to give to students who forgot or can’t afford to buy them

Schlatt: Calculus and Stats/Business

You either love him or are terrified of him

One of the only teachers who can have an “aggressive” teaching style and still connect with students

You will learn something from his class, he makes sure of it.

Doesn’t accept late work unless you have a really good reason why you couldn’t turn it in

Wears a tie every day

If another teacher needs a last minute sub during his prep period he’ll cover them. Doesn’t matter what subject, he can wing it

He was the reason the school started offering business studies as an elective due to some vague threats towards the district

Niki: Art/German

Teaching voice is so soft

You can’t tell whether or not she’s giving you constructive criticism because everything she says sounds so positive

Let’s her students lead learning for the most part, she will cover topics that most interest them while still trying to hit the district required standards (luckily teaching electives gives her a bit more freedom with her curriculum)

Her classroom always smells lovely

Will bring in homemade goodies each Friday for the staff room

Holds art galleries at the end of each semester to show off the arts since they often go unappreciated. It has turned out to be a super popular event for students and staff.

Bad: Special Education

This man has endless patience. It’s crazy

Even after the longest days when none of the students are cooperating, he still has a smile on his face

If he hears cursing in the halls he will call you out in front of everyone. Teachers included.

Makes sure to keep a list of all his students favorites so he can surprise them with gifts on their birthdays or around holidays

He works closely with the other teachers to make sure his kids can be as involved in general education as possible.

Always wears something fun, be it a tie, socks, shirt, or even a full outfit. His students love seeing what new wacky garment he’ll be wearing that day.

More Head Cannons

If someone brings food for the staff room Tommy WILL take it. Sometimes he’ll come back for seconds, there will be none left by the end of the day. He’s not as bad as Skeppy though, who will literally pack it up to take home for later.

For the past few months the staff members have been receiving anonymous email chains with photoshopped pictures of each other. Everyone was sure Fundy was behind it, Eret thought he saw him teaching his students how to use the program by editing their favorite teachers into stupid situations (they’ve all been school appropriate of course). Fundy did in fact start it, but now so many other teachers have joined in that it can’t be traced back to one person anymore.

All the teachers love going to sporting events. They’ll join in with the student section to cheer on the teams. If they know there’s a kid who doesn’t have family that will come to watch them they’ll make shirts with that players number to show support for them.

Wilbur, Niki, and Tubbo work together on musicals. Niki does the sets and costuming, Wilbur directs, and Tubbo leads the pit. There are plenty of long nights during tech week that devolve into chaos (especially when Niki isn’t there)

Spirit week is very intense, to say the least. The teachers are assigned a grade to be advisors to, and they get into it. For the duration of the week they practically become rivals with whoever isn’t in their assigned grade. They’ll pull pranks on each other constantly, especially when the students can see. It’s all playful of course, but it gets the kids more excited about spirit week when they can support their teachers and watch the amicable rivalries carry out.

Technoblade once joked that he knew every detail about every classic novel. His students took this as a challenge, and tried to find the most obscure and specific trivia questions they could ask him. He has yet to be stumped.

Dream and Sapnap had a running streak of about four weeks where they made everything into a competition. Who could enter their grades into the computer fastest? How many cups of coffee did they drink that day? Who got to school first that morning? There was a tally board in the staff room and the teachers had a betting pool going. Phil finally ended it when they accidently broke the school’s copier trying to see who could scan the most documents in five minutes. Dream was ahead by three points, Sapnap never lived it down.

In service days are incredibly boring, so the staff tries to make those days a bit more entertaining. They order in pizza or sandwiches for lunch. Since there aren’t any kids in the school they’ll do everything they’re no supposed to, like racing office chairs down the hallways and blasting non-school-appropriate music in their classrooms.

Wilbur accidentally started a black market of sorts when he took all the new whiteboard pens from the supply closest. He used this to his advantage, getting people to do him favors in return for the good supplies. When Dream found out he not-so-jokingly threatened to slowly steal everything from Wilbur’s classroom until he released the pens. The next day the closet was replenished once more

Quackity and Tommy are co-emcees for the school assemblies. They hold class competitions between the grades, including spirit chants and ridiculous games. Think minute to win it style, but way crazier. Everyone gets super into it, the upperclassmen usually win. The two have good chemistry and a fun energy.

George has a unit where students make bottle rockets and launch them outside on the soccer field. And every year Karl brings his class out to watch claiming that “it’s science, I teach science, I’ll have them write a paragraph about what they learned”. Really he just wants to watch rockets go brrr

For Schlatt’s birthday one year, Wilbur and Techno printed off shirts with his face on it for all the staff to wear. Schlatt was super confused when he came into work and all his colleagues were walking around with his face plastered across their chest. He got back at Wilbur for it by putting salt in his coffee for a week straight, but Techno never got his comeuppance. It’s debatable whether Schlatt just didn’t know he was in on it, or if he knew better than to mess with Techno.

Lesson planning and curriculum building is quite the process. Some departments can stay on task better than others. Schlatt and Skeppy get in, plan out the term, and get out. The math department has everything on lock. Social studies are also pretty good at getting pre-planning done. They tend to spend most of their time having discussions that aren’t necessarily related to the tasks at hand though. The English department is a mess. It’s really Tommy who’s a mess, he just projects that onto everyone else. Karl and George work well together to map out science curriculum. Even though teachers who teach electives aren’t required to collaborate with each other, they still get together and bounce ideas off each other and get feedback.

I have plenty more if people want a second part. I also only listed the MCYTs that I’ve watched enough to know their personalities at least a little bit, but if you wanted to see another person I may expand the staff list!

#minecraft youtubers #dream team #sleepy bois inc #dream smp #high school teacher au #teacher au

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rocknrollarticles · 4 years ago

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The Artwoods Story

The Artwoods’ 100 Oxford Street is a UK compilation album released in 1983 that features a four-page booklet (pictured above) that tells the band’s story, written by guitarist Derek Griffiths.

Since there's a limit on the number of photos that can be added to one post, I'll be reblogging this a couple times until I have all the info up. To see this post with all the info added in reblogs, click here.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy Derek’s words as much as I do!

Transcript under the cut (main text + Record Mirror article from page three's rightmost side)

“ It's difficult to pinpoint exactly when the Artwoods came into being because everything just seemed to evolve naturally. The one date however that does stick in my mind is the 1st October 1964 which is the date I turned professional, thus depriving the accountancy profession of a valuable addition to its ranks! But seriously, one must go back to previous events in order to trace the history of the group.

I first met Jon Lord at a party in West Hampstead when he was a drama student at The Central School of Speech & Drama. He was introduced to me by Don Wilson whose claim to fame was his membership of the famous skiffle group Dickie Bishop & His Sidekicks. They had had a hit years previously with "No Other Baby But You", and Don now ran a band on a semi-pro basis called Red Bludd's Bluesicians in which I played guitar. Well, I say we were called this, but only when we were fortunate enough to cop an R&B gig. We used to play The Flamingo Allnighter and lots of U.S. air bases. The rest of the time we played weddings and tennis club dances as The Don Wilson Quartet! Jon Lord was brought in on piano and was a very valuable addition especially as he could get his hands around a little jazz and all the old standards. Jon used to ring me at work and interrupt my vouching of sales ledger invoices in order to discuss the coming weekends gigs. We would bubble with excitement at the approach of an R&B gig as we really hated all the weddings and barmitzvahs.

Around this time Don made a very important policy decision and we suddenly became the proud owners of a Lowrey Holiday organ for Jon to play. Shortly after this Don contrived to drive the band-wagon into the back of a lorry on the North Circular, doing himself considerable mischief in the process. This brought about the unfortunate end of Don's career with us, but not before he had masterminded an important merger of two local bands.

For some time we had been aware, and not a little envious, of The Art Wood Combo led by none other than Art Wood himself. His band underwent a split at that time and Red Bludd's Bluesicians, alias The Don Wilson Quartet, were neatly grafted on. We really felt we were moving into the big league by doing this as Art not only had more work than us but, wait for it, used to sing with Alexis Korner's Blues Incorporated with Charlie Watts on drums and Cyril Davies on harmonica! The next problem was a replacement for Don, and this was solved by stealing the bass player from another local group The Roadrunners, a good looking cove who went by the name of Malcolm Pool. The offer and acceptance of the gig were transacted in a pub car park somewhere in West Drayton staring into the murky waters of the Grand Union Canal clutching pints of local bitter (Fullers?). (Authors note: drugs had not been invented at this stage, as far as most groups were concerned, apart from the odd pill to keep one awake on an all nighter!)

The next personnel change took place some time in 1964 and this involved the retirement of drummer Reg Dunnage, who did not want to turn pro. Auditions were held in London and lots of drummers attended. However it was more or less a foregone conclusion that Keef Hartley would get the job. You see we'd already decided that what The Artwoods needed above all else was a Liverpool drummer! Unfortunately none came to the audition, but Keef hailed from Preston which was near enough for us. Keef had previously played with Rory Storm & The Hurricanes, replacing Ringo Starr in the process (heady stuff this), and Freddy Starr & The Midnighters. Both were such influential bands of their time that these credentials combined with Keef's quasi Liverpool accent (at least to our ears) provided him with a faultless pedigree.

So that was it, the line-up that would take us through to 1967 when Colin Martin eventually replaced Keef Hartley on drums.

For a while we worked as The Art Wood Combo but then decided it was hipper to drop the Combo and become The Artwoods.

The period when The Artwoods were operating was one of musical change when groups went from recording and performing other writers' material to writing their own. In fact the last year of the group's existence was 1967 which heralded the arrival of "Hendrix", "Flower-Power". "Festivals" and experimental use of mind expanding drugs! 1966/67 were particularly exciting years to be based in London and every night would be spent in one of the many clubs which had recently sprung up. The Ad Lib, The Scotch of St. James, The Cromwellian, Blaises and of course The Speakeasy to mention a few. Many of these we played in and the trick was to be well known enough not to have to pay the entrance fee on nights off. Any night you could be sure to meet your mates "down The Speak" and it became the unofficial market place for rock musicians.

It was also the days before huge amounts of equipment took over. Equipment meant road-crew and trucks and in turn financial hardship. This simple equation has been the downfall of many bands over the years. We used to travel in a 15 cwt van together with all the gear-no roadies, just us. It's amusing to recall but after recording the TV show "Ready, Steady, Go" (in Kingsway in those days?) one would be besieged by autograph hunters on the way to the van with the gear. Even really 'big groups of the day like The Zombies would hump their own equipment and apologetically place an amp on the ground in order to sign an autograph! Because it was financially viable to travel to small clubs in this way, we would often average 6 or 7 nights a week, every week, on the road. A bad month would probably mean less than twenty gigs. This meant we were living, sleeping and eating in close, and I mean close, proximity. You really found out who your friends were.

The subject of equipment is an interesting one as it really distinguishes the bands then from those of today. The average pub band of today would carry more equipment than we did. As I've already mentioned we were quick to realise that we could elevate ourselves musically by investing in a proper electric organ as opposed to a Vox Continental or Farfisa that many groups used. Consequently the group purchased a Lowrey Holiday and we thought this alone would provide us with the Booker T and Jimmy Smith sound.

What we failed to realize was that we also needed a Leslie cabinet with a special built-in rotor to get that "wobbly" sound. Our friend and mentor Graham Bond, the legendary organist/saxophonist, was quick to point out the error of our ways one night when we were gigging at Klooks Kleek in West Hampstead. We groaned inwardly when we discovered the extra cost and humping involved, but it had to be bought. We were fortunate very early on to score a deal with Selmers, who provided us with free amps and P.A., but we had to make the trek to Theobalds Road once a week to get it all serviced as they were not as reliable in those days. I used a Selmer Zodiac 50 watt amp and Malcolm had Goliath bass cabinets with a stereo amp.

The P.A. comprised two 4 x 12 cabinets and a 100 watt amp! When we toured Poland we played in vast auditoria and linked our system with the Vox system being used on tour by Billy J Kramer & The Dakotas. This meant we were pumping out no more than 300 watts which is laughable by today's standards. Although it would never have compared in quality, I can remember standing at the back of extremely large halls and being able to hear clearly all the words Billy J sang. One day in 1963 Alexis Korner sent me off foraging in and around Charing Cross Road for a new guitar, with instructions to mention his name whereupon I would receive a discount of 10%. Previously I played a Burns Trisonic (collectors will appreciate this model did not have "Wild Dog" treble) but fancied owning a Gibson ES335 as favoured by many blues players. Sure enough one was hanging invitingly in the window of Lew Davis's shop.

I ended up paying £135 and still use it regularly today although its value has multiplied five fold. Malcolm came with me that day and bought an Epiphone bass, the same colour and shape as my guitar. For years we looked like matching book-ends on either end of the group! Keef started off using a Rodgers drum kit, but somewhere along the line changed to, I think, Ludwig. There was no out-front mixing as is common today, just the P.A. amp on stage with the vocalist. Primitive I know, but everything revolved around bands being able to travel economically with their gear and perform at small clubs anywhere in Britain. The college circuit was much sought after and provided the icing on the cake while package tours were not necessarily well paid. We did our first with P. J. Proby and got £25 per night (for the lot of us) and we had to pay for our own accommodation!

I have already mentioned "Ready, Steady, Go" a show on which we appeared on more than one occasion. The original format called for groups to mime to their records but after a time it was decided that it would become "live" and that the show would be re-titled "Ready Steady Goes Live". We were proud to be picked for the first "live" show and learnt the news via a telephone call to our agent in London from a phone box high in the Pennines. We managed a drunken war-dance of celebration round the phone box believing that this meant we'd really cracked it. As I remember the first show we did featured Tom Jones (complete with lucky rabbits foot) miming to "It's Not Unusual", The Kinks, Donovan and Adam Faith's Roulettes playing live (without Adam). We were promoting our first single "Sweet Mary" and I would put the date at around late 1964.

Our first recording deal was with a subsidiary of Southern Music Publishing called Iver Productions and I reckon that would have been mid 1964. Southern had a four track studio in the basement of their offices in Denmark Street ("The Street") and getting the gear downstairs, especially the organ, was "murder". Our first producer was Terry Kennedy and we recorded several tracks with him. Without going too deeply into all the details of recording techniques of the period, one tended to compensate for the lack of tracking facilities available, by attempting to duplicate the live excitement. In many ways it was a frustrating experience particularly for ambitious guitar-players. I was a Steve Cropper freak and I knew as a musician that a lot of his sound on record resulted from him working his amplifier hard in the studio— thus the speaker would emit the sound he was used to on stage. In Britain however, engineers would say "You don't need to play loud man, we can turn you up on the desk". The result was a weedy, thin guitar sound. From way back I'd been experimenting with "feed back" on stage and I really had to dig my heels in about the guitar sound in the studio. Once when I turned my amp up to give it a bit of "wellie" on a solo the engineer bounded out of the control room screaming that the level would bust his microphones!

Sometime during the career of The Artwoods it was decided that we should graduate to a better studio. This was arranged by Mike Vernon who also became our producer. Our records had all been released through the Decca Record Co. and Mike was a staff producer with them. Mike w also an authority on "The Blues" and the relationship led to our only single chart record "I Take What I Want" a cover of a Sam & Dave U.S. R&B hit. Mike was also producing John Mayall at the time and it seemed only natural that Mike and The Artwoods should team up. From this point on we recorded at the Decca studio in Broadhurst Gardens, West Hampstead, but I can't honestly say it did any more for us than our previous efforts in the Southern Music basement, although we could now indulge ourselves in the comparative luxury of the eight track studio. Later on, towards the end of the groups life we were signed by Jack Baverstock at Philips Records who was looking for a group to cash in on the thirties-style gangster craze which had been triggered off by the film "Bonnie & Clyde". As a result we changed our name to "St. Valentines Day Massacre" and released a single of the old Bing Crosby hit "Brother Can You Spare A Dime?" It was an ill- fated venture, which I would prefer not to dwell on, virtually signalling the end of the band apart from a few heavy-hearted gigs with a changed line-up.

Before that though, there were many great times to remember, and a fair number of gigs that were memorable in one way or another.

One of our favourite gigs was Eel Pie Island which we regularly played once a month; in fact we held the attendance record there for a while until the ageing blues artist Jesse Fuller took it from us. Eel Pie Island is literally an island in the middle of the River Thames at Twickenham and there's never been a gig like it since. It was an Edwardian ballroom originally I believe, that achieved notoriety in the 50's with the Trad Jazz boom. At that time, an overloaded chain ferry was used to convey the crowd across the river, but during the 60's a small bridge was in existence although it was only wide enough to take the promoter Art Chisnall's mini van. He had to make three separate trips across with the gear strapped to the roof and hanging out the back doors.

The audiences were exceptional for those times and I don't know where they all came from... very much like art students and very much more like the 70's than 60's. Long hair predominated and this was before 'hippies' had officially been invented! If you can imagine a ramshackle wooden ballroom, bursting at the seams, condensation pouring from the walls, the audience on each others shoulders leaping up and down, the sprung dance floor bending alarmingly in the middle, in the summer couples strolling outside and lounging on the river bank ... all this and not a disc jockey in sight! One other bonus was that it was a “free” house and therefore sold many different types of beer— we always favoured Newcastle Brown. Back on the 'mainland' afterwards it was always riotous packing the gear into the truck. I don't know how he managed it but one night Malcolm drove our truck over the support band's guitar which happened to be lying about, thus breaking the neck. I'll never forget the shocked look on that poor guitarist's face as Malcolm smoothly slipped the van into gear, apologised and drove off in that order!

No trip up north was complete without stopping at the famed Blue Boar on the M1 for a "grease-up" on the way home. I do not refer to truck lubrication but to a particular rock'n'roll delicacy known as “full-house”. This comprised double egg, sausage, chips, beans, tomatoes, fried slice, tea, and (if you were man enough) toast. It was considered a Herculean task to break successfully the 10 bob' (50p) barrier-all served on wobbly cardboard plates that doubled as items to sign autographs on for the self service waitresses.

Waitress: What band are you?

Me: You won't have heard of us.

Waitress: Oh go on, tell us.

Me: OK. The Artwoods.

Waitress: Never 'eard of you!

It was everybody’s dream to walk into the Blue Boar just as their hit of the moment was playing on the Juke Box.

One time we were chosen to represent the twentieth century at the centenary celebrations of the State of Monte Carlo— a most lavish affair which the aristocracy and dignatories of Europe attended. Princess Grace and Prince Ranier were the hosts and people like Gina Lollobrigida and the like were there. The ball was held in the famous Casino at Monte Carlo and we stayed in an opulent hotel called The Hermitage, I think. All I can remember is that we all had single rooms (a rare luxury) which were massive, and you could have pitched a tent under one of the bath towels, they were so big. After this we jetted off up to Paris where we played next door to the Moulin Rouge at a club called The Locomotive.

Whilst we were there we were taken out by our friend Mae Mercer, the American lady blues singer who we backed in England. She lived in Paris and took us out to Memphis Slim's club where we all set about drinking like it was going out of style. At the end there was an embarrassing scene concerning the bill with the result that Mae ended up in tears. Whilst we were bumbling about in an alcoholic stupor, an upright looking gentleman put his arm round Mae to comfort her and a wallet appeared magically from his inside pocket. Without further ado the bill was despatched and we later learned that our anonymous benefactor was none other than Peter O'Toole who was busy in the street outside filming 'Night Of The Generals' and was an old buddy of Mae's.

One Boxing Day we loaded up with turkey sandwiches and Xmas pudding and headed off for a gig down in Devon or Cornwall somewhere. We arrived to find the club closed and boarded up, and as usual we were broke. Naturally we were livid, checked into an hotel and located the promoter who lived with his mum. Next morning we drove round to where he lived and burst our way past his confused mum. We found him in his bedroom nervously cowering against some fruit machines which he collected. He had no money so we forced him to empty his damned machines with the result that we drove back to London with 50 quids' worth of 'tanners' (approx 22p for the younger reader!)

Whilst on the subject of disasters I suppose I am duty bound to mention Denmark. The first time we went there we caught the ferry to the continent, drove up through Germany, then caught another ferry to Denmark. There was no promoter to meet us when we arrived so all we could do was drive to Copenhagen and check in at the Grand Hotel. It cost us an arm and a leg but at least we got a good nights sleep after being awake for nearly two days travelling. The next day we made a few phone calls and finally tracked down the promoter. He said: "Didn't you get my telegram cancelling the tour?" We politely said no we hadn't and what did he intend doing with us? He checked us into another hotel (cheaper of course) and set about booking us at places that were similar to English coffee bars and youth clubs. We made enough to survive on and paved the way to more successful tours of that country. In fact by now we had Colin Martin on drums and were pursuing a much more adventurous musical policy and writing our own material. It was just right for Denmark who had taken Hendrix to their hearts to name but one, and we subsequently became quite big there in 1967.

The Artwoods achieved modest success-a minor hit single in "I Take What I Want", but we worked constantly, travelled abroad, had fantastic fun and made a living doing so. We had seven single releases, one album, and one EP, and we broadcast both on radio and TV many times. We did stage tours such as the P. J. Proby tour and covered most aspects of "show-biz" apart from actually making a movie. It was the era when bands still had to prove themselves as a live act before being offered a recording contract. now frequently happens of course that an act can become huge record sellers without so much as venturing to do a live gig.

So what happened to everyone? Well Art returned to his former occupation as a commercial artist and finds some time to fit in free-lance work between accompanying brother Ron Wood on raving excursions between Rolling Stones gigs. Malcolm moved into the same field as Art and they now work in the same building. Both of them gig occasionally on a semi-pro basis although Malcolm spent some time playing with Jon Hiseman's Colosseum and Don Partridge in the early 70's. Jon Lord became famous with Deep Purple and Whitesnake as did Keef Hartley with John Mayall and various bands of his own. Colin Martin is now a BBC Radio producer of repute. I played in various bands such as Lucas and The Mike Cotton Sound, Colin Blunstone's band, Dog Soldier (with Keef again), before I somehow drifted into studio and theatre work. Recently I formed an R'n'B band called the G.B. Blues Company, and it's great to be back on the road again. ”

Derek Griffiths.

Clipping from Record Mirror on June 5, 1965, by Norman Jopling.

“We aim to excite!” … say the Art Woods

Just for the record, the Art Woods aren't a part of Epping Forest. In fact they're a group of five interesting young men, named after the group's leader Art Wood. They also happen to be one of the most realistic groups on the scene.

For a start, they are the awkward position of having a large following, a club residency but no hit record. Secondly. they don't mind pandering to commercial tastes, even though they have been hailed as one of the most authentic R & B groups in the land.

NO PULL

“But authentic R&B just isn't pulling the crowds any more,” says Art. “The audiences want to be excited, not to be lectured on what is 'good' and what is 'bad'. Although there was a time when you could spend half an hour on one number with long solos by everybody, it didn't last long. And although there are some clubs like that still, most of them want something fresh and new.

“And we try to cater for them. We like authentic R&B, but we also like playing everything and anything else. So far, our two discs haven't meant a light. Of course we'd love a hit. But we're lucky enough to make a good living without one.”

DISCS

The Art Woods latest disc is "Oh My Love" and the one before that “Sweet Mary”. Of them Little Walter has said that he couldn't believe any white group could sing and play the blues like they do.

Line-up of the group is Art Wood, leader. vocalist and harmonica. Derek Griffiths, lead guitar, Jon Lord, organ and piano. Malcolm Pool— base guitar, and Keef Hartley on drums. The boys use a specially adapted Lowrie organ, and get a sound that's really different.

But even if the boys sometimes become depressed about no hits records, they should remember groups like Cliff Bennett, the Barron-Knights, the Rockin' Berries and the Yardbirds, and how long THEY waited before they had a hit!

N.J.

#the artwoods #the art woods #art wood #derek griffiths #malcolm pool #jon lord #keef hartley #colin martin #100 oxford street #the 100 club #articles #liner notes #newspaper clippings #record mirror #my posts

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brothed · 3 years ago

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just thinking, after seeing people getting back their midterm marks and just watching midterm season as a whole - and i’m not trying to be pseudo-intellectual here but. the culture is so toxic?

i can’t speak for other programs or schools but like, in the science program at my university. it is rough.

the week of midterms itself was Horrible and it ma have paid off for me, but not for everyone? like, almost everyone i spoke too was running on extremely low amounts of sleep, studying for hours on end, not eating properly/often and like. breaking down because of the stress? i saw at least 6 people crying during the midterms and that was only in two of them.

not to mention probably half of the kids were on some sort of drugs. the two guys i know who sell adderall and ritalin were literally almost out of full prescription from midterms week alone,,, and i just find that so fucked?

and then this past weekend, after most midterms were done - there was probably double the normal amount of drunk people. and even my friends and i - we were absolutely wasted for two days to celebrate midterms finally ending and to have some fun before we had to figure out our grades.

the worse part is that it is completely normalized here? if you ask any upper years, they’re like, “yeah, that’s midterms - exams are worse and a lot of people fail anyways.” like?? completely destroying yourself for a week should not be normal??? for tests that you are almost expected to fail??

like. i was told by one of my profs that the university likes to keep grades above the pass mark, but under 70%. why?? why on earth would you want kids to get 70s? i am not saying that’s a bad mark but. should you not want kids to do as well as they possibly can? should the goal not be just. as well as each person can do?? not to try to stump everyone so they fall below a 70%???

and the aftermath is. so bad.

in the science program here, you need to have at least a 75% high school average to get in - and that’s final. all of the kids in the science program are used to getting a 75% or above in high school - but the science program average is a 65%. i Understand that university isn’t easy and we shouldn’t expect the same grades we get in high school - but the professors are quite literally instructed to build exams on which kids would struggle to score higher than 70%. i Refuse to believe that the 65% department average isn’t constructed at least in part.

aside from that, the aftermath has been so bad with the people around me because, most of them had at least an 80% hs average - many with much higher averages - and that standard has been so ingrained into our education? like. that’s whats rewarded and expected. and so many kids are taking this shit so hard? i have friends who are going through SO Much emotional turmoil right now, just because they have lower marks than expected on exams crafted to be that way?

it is not in any way a representation of how “smart” these people are or what they know about a topic? it is quite literally a representation of how well they can recite information while working against every possible barrier - and doing this for five courses at once.

i know people considering dropping out, almost everyone seems to be questioning their intelligence, some people are so effected by these grade drops that they are borderline suicidal - and it’s all because of ridiculous expectations from hs, paired with exams you are expected to nearly fail - which write while you are completely exhausted and overworked. the cherry on top is that many people have scholarships, granted by this university, which depend on obscenely high averages.

i don’t know if i am looking too far into this, but from my point of view, as someone who’s still done very well - this is fucking ridiculous. none of us should be expected to put our mental and physical well being on the line to play their stupid losing-game. they’ve stacked the deck and they do not care what lengths you go to in your frivolous attempt at winning.

and everyone just accepts it - so fucked.

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believerindaydreams · 4 years ago

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Like the last one but with more Benny/Arcade fucking :) Arcade POV.

You have to admit, Benny Gecko's greed rubs off.

Before the Legion camp, before the courier, you wouldn't have dreamed of anything like this home for yourself. Pushing forty and still helping out at the Mormon Fort, when most doctors stay a few years before fleeing back to the security of the NCR, their conviction ebbed away in the face of frontier realities.

You'd stayed, because you hadn't had anywhere else to go; and because you thought you hadn't deserved better.

Marilyn had certainly done her best to prove that one.

But saving another life meant saving your own; and Benny is securely self-confident in ways that defy belief, smart enough to upend the Mojave, too stupid to be afraid of you. Somehow. For everything that you are, or could be.

Right now he's snoring with his head against your breastbone, as though he dreams you're safe.

"Benny, wake up. It isn't getting any warmer out here."

He keeps right on sleeping, and you shiver some in the twilight- no way of telling how late it is, even in North Vegas the light of the Strip will drown out the stars all night. There's a moon, but vague childhood memory doesn't help much there.

(Orion tried to drill that info into you, in case you ever needed it. Judah had been the one to catch the leather belt, leaving you afraid but untouched.)

You hug your lover closer, and the memory trickles away again.

It's not so bad being out here, at that. Cold makes your lover all the sweeter to hold, and the deprivation of hunger is muted by the knowledge that there's more than enough if you wanted, inside. Indulging in sentiment is a wildly different beast than real deprivation. The lab coat you wear so proudly will cover two, applied properly-

"Mmfth? Arcade, where the hell are we?"

"Besides your new swimming pool."

Benny grunts, stands up to stretch a kink out of his back. "Ugh. Wake me up next time, willya? Cool cats may sleep in alleys, but I'll settle for a bed."

So you go inside, where the rocket stove has built up a delicious warmth, going straight to the bone marrow; and that's good too.

Benny heads straight for the liquor cabinet, chuckles at the selection, settles for a beer- maybe that means something, maybe in forty years time you'll know all the tells like that. Desire quivering in your blood like drunkenness. The prospect of having a future to grow old in.

"I'll stock that up. The upstairs bartender at the Gomorrah keeps a few bottles of pre-war wines to grease the skids."

"Are they really?"

"I mean, I wouldn't lay money on that. But it isn't your average NCR two-buck rotgut at least."

He grins and twists the bottle cap off with practiced delicacy, pockets it and drinks while looking around with sharp practiced eyes. Assessing, appreciating, but something more mellow there too, a look that hasn't been his since the Tops turned into New Vegas' bureaucratic ground zero. He's spent too long protecting it, imaging ways it could be taken away, for him to be entirely comfortable there again.

You take an ice-cold Nuka from the fridge, and a rum, and start downing a sweet mixer. Here, maybe, it'll be different. Outside it's just Fiend territory, and the two of you know how to handle those. Even without the power armor left fragmented in the Divide.

Thoughts fragmenting a little, the liquor hitting fast. If you'd come to rely on that armor, believed in it as part of your identity, maybe the loss would have come harder; but you're not the same as your tools. It kept you safe when it mattered.

Benny is still hunting around the place, quick avid eyes hunting for secrets- he switches lights on and off, opens all the cupboard doors, chortles at the secret passage to the cellar workshop. "Finally, a place with enough storage space. Not bad."

He raises the beer to his lips, drinks; you succumb to temptation and kiss foam off his lips extemporaneously.

Lovers make poor confidants, you can hear yourself saying to the courier. This is harder than it looks. It's like playacting a romance, a performance soap bubble guaranteed to vanish with the sunrise.

And people are so very fragile in the Mojave. You press against the thin fabric of that ridiculous lucky suit, hoping that physical evidence will assuage you where sense and sensibility haven't.

"If you're going to be like that," Benny says, between applications of the bottle. "Let's find the bed. A place like this, I imagine it's a good one."

"Up the stairs to the left." Too much practice in disaster, to lose your tongue just because of a firm fondle around your rear.

Benny laughs again, and guides you up the stairs as if he's the one who knows the place.

Bed is a luxurious queen size, done up in bedding that was washed this week and not last century, courtesy of the last functioning laundromat in Freeside. Abraxo's strong scent a trifle mollified, by the confounding mystery of an electric fireplace that tastes of woodsmoke.

"...sweet rads, Arcade, you really pulled out all the stops."

"There are shutters, if you want to see the Strip." Bulletproof security gives way to the neon splurge of distant light. Benny exclaims in pleasure, sticks his head out the window to drop cigarette ash onto a corrugated iron awning.

"Sorry. Dying for a smoke, I figure it's better now than interrupting us later."

"No worries." It still smells wrong, but after the Legion camp, soldiers glaring at Benny for defiling their measured sanctity with irreverent chems, it's the kind of wrong that brings comfort in its wake.

"Any ideas on how you want to- ah- christen the bed?"

"Take me down and roll me out, cupcake, I don't mind how this swings. Your picnic, baby, your show."

Wow, offers the part of your brain that's rapidly succumbing to the effect of alcohol on an empty stomach. What a remarkably unhelpful statement.

Benny has one foot poised on a priceless rifle cabinet and his greased hair is fluttering slightly from the window breeze, and the whole picture does things to your circulatory system that under normal circumstances would have you reaching for a stimpak. "In that case, I'll just...start by undressing."

"Oh, a stripping routine?" Benny puffs out effortlessly, classier than anyone with his attire and general disposition should be allowed to look. "Right on, sugarlips."

For the love of water, he's taking a simple mechanical prelude to the actual fucking as if it's the sexiest thing in the Wasteland.

Only, the way his eyes follow you as you strip off the familiar filthy coat and undo shirt cuffs suggests it is. Off with the belt and packs, away with the shirt-

He rests two fingers on your shoulder, so lightly you wouldn't feel him if it wasn't bare. "You sure this is something you want to do right now, cupcake? All that booze?"

"Get in bed and find out." In as close an imitation of his incomprehensible slang as you can manage. It's not very good.

He stubs the cigarette out against the shutter, falls dramatically against the bed. "Go ahead and strip me then."

It's part and parcel of being a doctor that you can't do this simply, without a radio station in your head tuned to medical evaluation even as you slide off jacket and trousers, every inch of that lucky suit laid neatly on a chair. Scars here, unexplained tattoo there, the marks of a hard life in the Mojave laid out in history made flesh. It is very susceptible and very beautiful at once, heart-wringing for the wounds scabbed over and soothing for its persistence. Sex is always the balance between the purifying and the ludicrous, your busy mind likes to sate itself on diagnostic while the rest of you is caught up in passion. Just the way you're built. It doesn't hurt any.

Benny's a goddamn pillow princess and lazy in bed, but he helps remove your trousers this time, the two of you stripping each other to bare skin. His hands find your cock, already growing interested; you find his and find it to be disappointingly inert.

"Something wrong?"

" Hell, I'm probably just done in after that batch in the garden. Tell you what, a little Buffout, a little juicer, I should be right with you."

"...not like that." You will, possibly, never be able to tell when he lies, but this doesn't stack up to prior experience. Experiences. "What's wrong? Am I rushing you?"

"No, I don't think- maybe," Benny admits, chagrin written over his face. "This house, everything- it's too much. Fuck, this'll take some getting used to. Seven years running the Tops and I still think of a place like this as a luxury for my betters, you dig?" He squeezes lightly with one hand, strokes along your ribcage with the other.

"You don't have any betters." Sensation be damned when there's a philosophical point to be made. Difficult as that may be in his practiced grasp. "You deserve this as much as- ah- any one in the Mojave-"

"Whoa, kitten, you'll be bad for my limitless ego. It's just a matter of getting used to it, okay? We have time, we'll get there. But meanwhile I have a bottlecap says you need a special delivery even if I don't."

It takes a moment to disentangle thoughts of Marilyn from standard Vegas slang, and then another to try to muster a functional argument, and then there aren't any more moments, because your chronic patience does not carry through to the bedchamber and Benny knows that, hurrying you along until you're blacking out to bliss-

how long it is before you're cognizant again, you aren't sure. Long enough that Benny has had time to clean you off, that's thoughtful.

"I can't possibly let that go unreciprocated."

"Don't worry about it, cupcake. Keeping score is for teenagers."

"...if you can't get it up in the house, why not outside?" That has to be the alcohol talking. Or Benny's boyfriend. Or both.

"You mean a rematch by the pool? Not a bad idea from the fertile delta of Arcade's idea garden, I'll drink to that."

...whatever that means. Too many stairs to negotiate going back down. "I mean right here. On the bedroom awning."

"The one made of cast iron? With a clear line of sight for anyone prancing down the street? Two feet across to a hard fall on concrete?"

"...um."

Benny grins, grabs a fluffy pillow. "Baby, you know how to activate my danger kink like nothing else. Lead on, Macbeth."

He means Macduff, but never mind, the thought's there.

Intellectual quibbling can take a back seat to some extremely serious fucking, for once in a way.

#fallout new vegas #orange

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zaph1337 · 4 years ago

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Monster Hunter Rating 6: Genprey

Y’know, the Monster Hunter series seems to really likes dinosaurs. It’s easy to just put them in the games and call them monsters because it’s easier to forget that they’re real animals since they’re all extinct. Granted, they can’t make them exactly like what we think those dinosaurs looked like because then they’d just be, well, dinosaurs, but they don’t really have to change much. Though, in this monster’s case, modern paleontological advances have done its job for it. Let’s talk about the Genprey, shall we?

(How it appears in Monster Hunter 1)

(How it appears in Monster Hunter 4)

Appearance: Y’know, I said that the Apceros was just a scientifically-inaccurate ankylosaurus, but that was because I assumed that all dinosaurs had feathers because I thought that all dinosaurs were basically birds. But after doing a bit of research, I learned that not all dinosaurs were avian, and that most, if not all, feathered dinosaurs were theropods, so Apceros and Aptonoth probably aren’t as inaccurate as I thought. Genprey, though, is a theropod, and as such will not be spared my generalizations. Genprey is just an outdated raptor with a head crest. The main problem I have, though, is that there are several raptors in Monster Hunter--they’re called the Bird Wyvern class--and they tend to look really similar to one another. We won’t see the biggest offenders for a very long time, but just know that my issue with them is that their color schemes make them too difficult to tell apart at a distance. The colors of the Genprey are interesting, but other than that, there’s nothing here that really works for me. 4/10.

Behavior: Look, I was gonna write a deadpan critique of the fact that all of the monsters I’ve talked about so far live in packs, including the Genprey, but now that I think about it, I don’t think that I’ve seen a non-Main Monster in Rise that wasn’t accompanied by other members of its species, and I doubt that that’s different in the other games, so I’ll give it a pass. What I’m still exasperated about is the fact that the leaders of so many of these packs have the “prefix of original monster followed by -drome suffix” naming scheme because, you guessed it, the leader of a Genprey pack is called a Gendrome. For crying out loud, "drome” doesn’t mean “bigger and stronger”! Ugh. Anyways, Genprey mostly live in the desert, though they have been seen in swamps and forests. They prey on monsters like Aptonoth and Apceros, and the Gendrome’s job is to form plans that allow the pack to do this without getting crushed. Considering how Genprey are apparently pretty common, even to the point of presenting dangers to settlements, I’d say that they’re doing a good job. Honestly, I’d find this more interesting if it wasn’t just “standard pack hunter,” but in terms of behavior, that’s all Genprey seem to be. 5/10.

Abilities: Thankfully, Genprey aren’t standard animals in terms of their abilities. Their scales are colored to provide camouflage in the desert, and they also provide protection from the fangs of other wyverns. The skin under the scales also has properties that neutralize paralytic venom, which brings me to the Genprey’s main offensive ability: their fangs and claws can secrete a powerful neurotoxin which can paralyze creatures ten times the Genprey’s size. In fact, it’s said that no matter how large the prey is, the venom will still paralyze it in a matter of seconds. Most animals with toxins like this that I can think of either use it defensively or are jellyfish, which don’t exactly go out of their way to catch anything, to my knowledge, so the fact that the Genprey specifically uses it to hunt is pretty cool. 7/10.

Equipment: I’ll save the equipment named after the Gendrome for another time, but as for the Genprey’s equipment, the weapons all have the same patterns and colors that the scales do, and some of them have fangs and claws affixed to them, which is to be expected, but for some reason, several Genprey weapons have eyes on them, despite the fact that Genprey eyes aren’t a material you can use in forging, if they even exist as a material at all. And these aren’t just patterns formed from scales, they legit look like real eyes. Here’s the Viper Bite, the Genprey Sword and Shield, to prove my point:

And if you think one eye for each side (presumably) of a sword is weird, how about a weapon with three eyes that’s also a literal guitar? Here’s the Genprey Hunting Horn from Monster Hunter Frontier G:

SURE. WHY NOT. Well, now that we’ve gotten past...that, it’s time to look at the first armor set ever featured in one of these posts: the Genprey Suit from Monster Hunter Generations Ultimate:

Okay, not to make it sound like I’ve been staring too closely, but why is there a heart-shaped hole in the chest area of the girl’s suit. It’s so small I didn’t notice it until I uploaded the image into the post, so what the heck’s even the point if you’re going for sex appeal!? And why is the helmet a Genprey head!? Where did you even get the materials for that!? Ugh, I get the feeling that Monster Hunter plays by its own rules and doesn’t care what we mere mortals think. As for the equipment rating, this is so weird I legitimately can’t tell if I hate it or not. It’s weird, but it’s also kind of average?

EDIT (04/19/2020): A couple of people have pointed out to me that the Genprey Suit is not normal armor. Apparently the a lot of the dromeosaurid (raptor-like) Bird Wyverns have these sort of Power Rangers-esque outfits along with their normal armor sets. Here’s the “Blademaster” variety of Genprey armor from MHGU:

Thankfully, Capcom realized that sexualizing the female version of this armor, which is clearly meant to be bulky and cover everything, was a stupid idea, though it’s still a bit more exposed than the male armor. I also don’t understand why the female version has so little to do with the Genprey; there’s more metal there than scales. Sure, the male version has metal too, but it’s almost completely covered in scales. I also don’t get what that orange ring around the dude’s shoulder is. This armor isn’t bad, but it doesn’t appeal to me, and doesn’t change the original score I gave the equipment before this edit. 5/10.

Final Thoughts and Tally: Genprey have some cool aspects and some weird ones, but they still somehow fail to be noteworthy. Despite everything, they still feel like stereotypical, scientifically-inaccurate raptors. Hopefully the other Bird Wyverns stand out a bit more. 5/10.

#monster hunter #monster hunter rating #zaph1337

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bobbyshaddoe80 · 4 years ago

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Liberated Audio Reviews

Introduction:

The cult Sci-Fi series Blake's 7 has seen great admiration and appreciation in the 40 plus years since its initial broadcast in the UK., continuing to enthrall audience old and new alike. Despite its rather low budget, it possessed some pretty impressive writing and acting from its rotating cast of characters. Despite it being yet another Terry Nation brainchild, the series would evolve beyond the initial proposal/concept of 'Robin Hood in Space' under the direction of Chris Boucher to become something more than just a Star Wars clone.

Over the years, the show's devoted fanbase have poured over the show's 52 episodes and have long clamored, demanded, begged and pleaded with the Powers That Be for some sort of continuation or revival... In spite of the show's rather unorthodox and controversial ending.

After numerous rumors and false starts, which even included a full on audio reboot/reimagining by B7 Media back in late 2007/early 2008, it would be Big Finish Productions that would take up the daunting task of reviving and expanding the Blake's 7 universe starting in February 2012 with the Liberator Chronicles and the Classic Audio Adventures in January 2014.

The Liberator Chronicles are essentially enhanced audiobooks often told in the first person by whichever character is chosen to be the focus of the story. Often they are supported by one or two other cast members in order to help keep things from falling completely into standard audiobook monotony. Before tackling the full cast audios, I shall endeavor to present my thoughts and views on all twelve volumes of the Liberator Chronicles.

Please bear in mind that these reviews are based on my own opinions and no one else's. While I shall endeavor to be as fair as possible, I am not claiming that my opinion is the only one that matters and you are free to agree or disagree with me as you see fit. Just try to keep it civil. So, without further ado, let's get started by examining volume one.

Blake's 7 - The Liberator Chronicles Vol. 1

RELEASED FEBRUARY 2012

Recorded on: 23 September, 11 and 14 October 2011

Recorded at: Moat Studios

Review By Robert L. Torres

The Turing Test by Simon Guerrier

'After evading an attack by Cassini Pirates, the Liberator heads to the rogue moon of Quentil, where Avon and Vila infiltrate a top secret Federation science facility.

Vila assumes the guise of Dr. Yarding Gill, an expert in digital memory. And Avon is his "creation" - a super-advanced android that could pass for human. In fact, he does...

Can they maintain the ruse long enough to complete their mission? And will the Cassini Pirates catch up with them?'

Chronological Placement:

Series A - set after the events of LC Vol. 7's Disorder, between episodes Mission To Destiny and Duel.

This is a very well written story starring the late Paul Darrow as Kerr Avon, ably supported by Michael Keating as Vila Restal.

I love how the story is structured with Avon recounting these events AFTER the fact, like he was recording then for posterity into a dictaphone. I loved that Guerrier's writing didn't fall into the trap of having Avon try to do other voices or say 'said Blake', 'said Jenna' and so on. Nothing felt disruptive to the narrative and having Vila around never felt intrusive.

Kudos to Michael Keating for slipping back into the role of Vila Restal with relative ease. He will be quite reliable in a support capacity during many of these audios, and even get a chance at the spotlight... Which we will examine in due course. Right now, he lends his exceptional charm in this undercover mission posing as the scientist responsible for "creating" Avon.

Still, this story belongs to Paul Darrow, and he does a great job. It was a great story about what it means to be alive, what it means to be human and even serving as an examination of Avon himself. It was a nice inverse of the usual sort of questions regarding machine life wishing to be more human. Here we have a human considering himself to be more machine than man.

That is the interesting thing about Avon. Most scifi programs that deal with space travel tend to have an archetypical character known as the 'royal smart person'. For Star Trek TOS it was Spock, for Star Trek TNG it was Data, for DS9 it was Dax (and to a certain extent Bashir), for Voyager it was Seven of Nine, for Enterprise it was... Who the hell knows since everyone on that show was an idiot. As for Discovery... I honestly don't know cuz I haven't watched Discovery yet, but that's beside the point.

Avon is exceptional in his characterization only in that his desire to focus on pure logic and suppress his emotions does not come without its own drawbacks. Despite his intellect and skill with computers, he is someone that is also socially and emotionally cut off from others due to an inability to trust. He is also someone that sees the futility in giving over to emotional and irrational hysterics in order to showcase that he cares. Avon's intelligence also comes with a certain amount of ego, as he knows that he is smarter than many of his contemporaries, and much of the logic he embraces stems from a certain degree of self-serving self-interest.

His desire to assist in the situation with the AI android 14 stems from having an affinity with another creature of pure logic, and not wanting such a creature to be exploited and corrupted to further the aims and agendas of the Federation. This story is a great reminder of why Avon is a great antihero, as he is still willing to do the right thing in spite of himself.

Final Score: 8 out of 10 Plasma Bolts

Solitary by Nigel Fairs

‘Vila is in solitary confinement. His friends have abandoned him, his only contact with the world outside is Nyrron, a scientist from the planet Auron.

Amnesiac and confused, Vila attempts to piece together recent events... A mission to Dulcimer 4. An important meeting. And a visit to the jungle world of Terrulis Major.

In the depths of the foliage, the truth is waiting. And it's more terrifying than Vila could possible have imagined...’

Chronological Placement:

Series B - between episodes Redemption and Shadow.

I really do not have much to say about this story as it is profoundly unremarkable and is a major clunker in terms of execution of its concept, as well as the first person narration.

It has some interesting ideas, there is a central mystery that is interesting, with Vila finding himself in solitary confinement and abandoned by his friends, and we are introduced to a semi recurring guest character in the form of Auron scientist Gustav Nyrron, played by Anthony Howell ('Dr. David Keel' of the The Avengers: Lost Episodes range).

Nyrron himself is an interesting character as an ally for Blake and the Resistance, which begs the question why Cally wasn’t involved in this story as well. Because for an Auron scientist, he actually spends most of the time acting like either a reasonable interrogator or a benevolent psychiatrist for the imprisoned Vila.

The whole story itself is not executed terribly well. The Vila character spends a good chunk of the first few moments talking to himself, and then when Nyrron comes into the narrative, Vila spends the rest of the runtime being asked if he remembers certain events, and then goes on to basically recount events that lead up to meeting Nyrron and then goes on to tell Nyrron things that he already knows about.

As a Vila centric story, its also not terribly good, not even with certain unexpected revelations made. This story does Vila no favors and we don't learn much about Nyrron either. Fortunately, those are issues that would end up being rectified in later stories. Definitely give this one a miss.

Final Score: 4 out of 10 Plasma Bolts

Counterfeit by Peter Anghelides

‘The Bovee Mining Facility: A Federation slave camp worked by disgraced scientists.

The planet shouldn't be of interest but it is: Avon's investigations reveal that it's rich in Illusium, a mineral that can change from one substance to another. With it, the Federation could be invulnerable...

Blake teleports down to Bovee, but gets more than he bargained for. There's another visitor to the facility - and his presence changes the whole game...’

Chronological Placement:

Series A - set after the events of LC Vol. 1's The Turing Test, between episodes Mission To Destiny and Duel.

This is not a bad Blake focus story, with added support from Avon. However, what we get is a pretty standard adventure with Blake hoping to obtain certain materials and destroy the means of that material being reproduced in another effort to cripple the Federation's power. We even get in an appearance by Travis, Blake's personal nemesis, to lure him into a trap.

There isn't a whole lot to say about the story because of how standard and basic it all is. The fact that the story is done on audio does play in well into certain revelations and surprise twists made within the narrative. Many of which I will not speak on as it goes into spoiler territory. Other than that, the story itself is not bad, it is definitely worth a once-over. Its just unfortunate that it is also pretty average and fairly unremarkable.

Final Score: 5 out of 10 Plasma Bolts

Final score for Volume One of The Liberator Chronicles in its entirety is 6 out of 10 Plasma Bolts.

It isn't the best start to the Blake's 7 audio range as it really only has one story out of three to recommend it. Its great to hear the original actors back again, and thankfully they will be served better stories in the volumes to follow.

Special thanks to Craig Brawley of the Big Finish Listeners Facebook Group for his tireless efforts in mapping out the chronology of the audios and determining how they fit in with the established TV continuity.

#blake's 7 #reviews #big finish productions #audiobook

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x0401x · 4 years ago

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Have you watched Tsurune, by an chance? If yes, what do you think about it?

Finally managed to write down a reply for this! (Told y’all I was gonna do it and I did not give up, lmao.)

So this ask caught me off-guard for two reasons: one is that I never see it coming when people send me Tsurune asks now that the anime is long over and the fandom is inactive, and the other is that nobody has ever asked me this question so straightforwardly. Whenever I got asks about Tsurune, people would question me about the differences between anime and novel, the anime versions versus the canon versions of the characters, fanservice and ship tease, alterations in character relationships and my opinions on specific episodes, chapters or scenes. As far as I remember, no one has ever asked me what I think of the anime (or the novel) in general.

I won’t go into the novel since this ask is just about the anime (I can do that in another one if you like), but I’ll end up mentioning it every now and then because it’s pretty impossible to discuss about an adaptation without talking about its source material. Still, I promise this review won’t be centered on that.

This is actually a very condensed version of my thoughts, because the real thing would be a bible. It’s still a lot, though. Here comes a long-ass ride.

I guess I should start by making clear that I usually follow the history of KyoAni’s productions very closely as I’m a big fan of the studio. This includes reading the novels and mangas they adapt into anime as well. I had read volume 1 by the time the Tsurune anime came out, so I already knew what the canon was like. I must add that I was also familiar with Japanese archery to some degree and I was reading Zen in the Art of Archery when the anime was airing (it’s referenced early in the novel, so I decided to give it a try).

With all of this being said, when it was announced that Tsurune would get an anime, my first reaction was to worry. This surprised even me, because I usually have high hopes for any KyoAni adaptation, even the ones I end up not liking. I mean, it’s a studio filled with brilliant stars and holds the golden standards of the whole industry, so even when the content isn’t good, the quality of the animation itself is enough to make their shows worth anyone’s time. But the choice of director had me very concerned.

Now, this is Kyoto Animation that we’re talking about. In no moment did I fear for the animation’s quality. Most of Tsurune’s staff members, if not all, already had previous experience working on Violet Evergarden. And we all know that even newcomers freshly graduated from KyoAni’s preparatory school can make a stunning visual masterpiece. Yes, I am talking about Kyoukai no Kanata. And yes, I said visual masterpiece, because we also know that what these productions normally lack is the most essential part: the content.

In those cases, the one who actually makes a difference is the director. I’m a firm believer that the more inexperienced the staff is, the more competent a director they should be placed under. If not a senior animator, at least let it be a rising talent with the best prospects possible. But the schedules usually don’t help with that, so these hatchlings ended up under Yamamura Takuya’s wings.

To elaborate a bit further on why I think brighter animators should be the ones leading new packs (no, it’s not discrimination against the less accomplished, because you gotta start from somewhere), it’s because they usually have this knack for bringing the most out of the stories they’re working on. When the story is great by itself, that’s a different thing, but when it doesn’t quite reach its full potential with just the text, then the one to give it life has to be a person with more vision.

Am I saying that Tsurune is one of those stories? Absolutely. Tsurune is about archery, which is an art that is best appreciated when observed. You can’t get everything out of it just with words, and there are many things in it that people who don’t know much or know nothing about Japanese archery wouldn’t understand without actually seeing them, so the series obviously needed an anime in order to reach its full potential. But other than that, I’ll be honest: I love the Tsurune novel for its cultural baggage, the handling of its characters and its fairly innovative views in the repetitive and boring scene that sports animanga are nowadays, but I don’t consider it a well-written novel. Because it isn’t.

This might seem controvesial coming from someone who defends the canon with claws and teeth, but I’m aware of its flaws. I think Ayano Kotoko has a lot of room for improvement, and she’s evolved remarkably from volume 1 to volume 2. But volume 1 is what the anime was based off, so there was a deep need for a clinical eye in that production. One that could measure the original work’s strengths and weaknesses and balance them out by powering one up and overcoming the other. And also a certain level of knowledge about Japanese archery. Sadly, Yamamura Takuya didn’t have any of it.

As much as I admire Yamamura as a key animator and in-betweener, I believe he has a long way to go before he can be considered a good director, and I certainly don’t think he was ready for his debut when he was put in charge of Tsurune. I would rather, and I mean this in a good way, have seen him work as anything else for the rest of his career. Being a series director was too much for him. I say this taking into consideration not only the fiasco that the Tsurune anime was in sales but also Yamamura’s history in the studio before becoming a director.

This might sound funny, but Yamamura had no idea how big Animation Do and KyoAni were before he decided to join. He also was never very skilled. His in-betweening was actually not approved at first when he was trying to enter the company. He even once admitted that his knowledge of animation was extremely limited at the time, and what a time that was, because the studio was busy up to the neck with the making of Lucky Star back then. He didn’t know left and right, basically, and he recalled in an interview from last year that he is still surprised the studio actually hired him.

Despite all of this, Yamamura joined the company with the intention of becoming a director. While he did manage the feat in the end, it took him +10 years and a few frustrated attempts. Animators usually start out at in-betweening and earn other positions through passing exams. Yamamura failed his first exam to be key animator, only managing to pass half a year later. He also failed his first exam to become a director. At his second attempt, one of their colleagues even suggested that maybe he should stay a bit longer as a key animator, and I couldn’t agree more. While he did pass the test, I can only bring myself to think that he did so with an average score.

Now, I did say that this info came from a 2019 interview, when the Tsurune anime was already over. But they weren’t really what shaped my opinion on Yamamura regarding his direction. It was the anime itself. But this interview served to confirm something I had already noticed from his tragectory to series direction: with him being in the studio for so long and having worked on so many titles, it was weird to me that he was rarely an episode director in comparison to key animation and in-betweening. Episode direction is a step that I consider crucial for one to become either series director, animation supervisor or series composer. I do know that quite a few directors take just as long as he did or even longer to debut and actually do thrive in the end, but observing Yamamura’s work always gave me the impression that he was better off following decisions made by someone else rather than making his own.

Yamamura also loses points with me in that he’s backed up within the company by Kawanami Eisaku, another director who doesn’t get rave reviews on his works. He’s the one who replaced Utsumi Hiroko after she migrated to Mappa, and ever since he took over the Free! franchise, its sales decreased to less than 1/3 of each of the first two seasons separately. I personally don’t like that he seems to look down on Utsumi despite his lack of success in inheriting her legacy, but leaving this aside and focusing only on his skills, I’m not fond of directors who opt for simplistic approaches in general. I think animation is a medium that should be used to amplify the appeal of the source material, not water it down. It also feels like these kinds of directors are always trying to play safe, which (they don’t seem to realize) goes against the audience’s expectations and kills the hype. It strikes me as cowardly, to be frank. I also don’t like when they ignore what the characters had been building up and simply retool them to their own tastes. I was praying that Yamamura would be different from this bad example, but turns out he was actually worse.

I got a really bad feeling when the anime PVs of Tsurune were released. My very first impression was that Yamamura was still too much of a beginner and he wouldn’t be able to make Tsurune into a successful anime. I know this might seem like an exaggeration, but here’s the thing: ever since KyoAni started making its own titles, I’d never seen lack of hype for their upcoming works. Ever.

Until Tsurune.

Every time a PV of a KyoAni show comes out, people go crazy. It’s not always a frenzy like it was with Free! in its heyday or Violet Evergarden when the novel commercials were the only pieces of animation we had of it, but there’s usually lots of debate and speculations going on. With Tsurune, almost no one cared. You’d see next to nobody talking about it save from a few people on Reddit. And honestly, why should they bother? It didn’t seem promising at all. Didn’t show much of the characters or the story’s premise, didn’t highlight any particularly interest aspect of the plot and didn’t leave any impression animation-wise. It was very bland, to say the least. Unfortunately, so was the anime series.

It might be blunt of me, but my overall evaluation of Tsurune is that it was a really boring show. Nearly all elements that made the story and characters interesting were either taken out or squeezed into a cookie cutter mold, cliche version of what they looked like they were going to be at first but turned out not to be in the novel. And I say this because one of the things that make Tsurune a good novel is how it turns stereotypes upside-down. It introduces the readers into what seems like is going to be a typical sports shounen and starts out describing the character archetypes in the most common ways possible and puts them in the most common situations possible, then it reverses them all. That’s what’s most charismatic about the books. It’s what incites actual character development and gives us different sides of each relationship, yet the anime makes no use of it.

The anime also hardly makes any use of all the mystic, Zen and lowkey folklore-ish veils of the novel, which are supposed to add up to the archery elements. The Zen part is actually essential since Japanese archery is fundamentally a Zen form of art. Yes, art. Japanese archery is, in fact, not a sport. This is one of the aspects that elevate Tsurune above other works of the sports genre: it’s only categorized as such because it can’t fit anywhere else, but it’s not really a sports novel. That could have elevated the anime to the same status too, if only the studio hadn’t treated it like a sports one. But they made that mistake.

Still, I think the biggest sin in this adaptation was to try to cling to tropes that are considered successful and ignoring the characters’ personalities, which didn’t match these tropes at all, resulting in both characters and bonds being utterly destroyed and the flow of the story slowing down to a slug pace. By the second half of the anime, literally either nothing interesting happens or the things that were supposed to be interesting don’t hold the audience’s attention enough, which the animators attempt to cover up with queerbait. Everything is so tediously predictable that I’ve seen countless comments from the Japanese side of the fandom about how similar the Tsurune anime was to Free! and how “KyoAni only ever makes male characters like that, don’t they”. They were referring to Seiya and his weird jealousy, by the way. Even first-timers could tell that the characterization was a disaster.

The sad thing is, they were right. The Tsurune anime really did feel highkey like a Free! copycat in the characterization department. The main character is always getting swung about by everyone around him. The best friend is very clearly co-dependent. The deuteragonist is revealed to be bitter because of a deceased relative and is an asshole to the rest of the main cast for a good portion of the series. The rival from the other school is rude as hell for no reason and he’s got annoying groupies on his team who don’t exist outside of idolizing him. There are only four female characters and they have almost no screen time. And the list goes on.

As for the animation itself, I would like to say that it was perfect, but what really rang the alarm in my head was the many beginner mistakes so evident here and there, such as missing frames, the opening theme starting out of nowhere, the colors of the background often being too bland, lack of movement or scenes where the characters are too static, etc. I shit you not that when I saw the title splashing onto the screen all of a sudden in the initial ten seconds of episode one, the first thing I thought was, “This won’t sell well”. Sure enough, it didn’t.

So there you have it. I didn’t like the show. The only things I enjoyed were the archery scenes and the soundtrack. The rest simply didn’t do justice to the original work. I hope this summary has explained why, but if you want more info on it, maybe visit my Tsurune tag. You’ll find me elaborating more on particular topics in response to similar asks. Or you can send me other questions if you feel like.

That’s it!

#tsurune #how cool is it that i finished just in time for the anime's anniversary lol

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grailfinders · 5 years ago

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Servant #2: Artoria Pendragon (Saber)

Moving along, our next subject is the face of Fate, King Arthur herself! For this build, we need to accomplish three things: A very fancy sword, laser beams coming out of said sword, and mana burst-esque abilities for when you need to give it 110%. A quick rundown of the build can be found here, and details under the cut!

Race and Background

Surprising no one, Artoria is a Human, meaning she gets +1 to all abilities.

Once again we are using the standard array (15,14,13,12,10,8). You can roll if you want to, but make sure it’s good enough for multiclassing.

We start with Strength as our highest stat. If we’re putting this much effort into pimping out our sword, we better be worthy of wielding it.

Next is Charisma. Artoria’s the king for a reason, and it’s because she’s surprisingly good at deception. That, and being a paragon of goodness and all.

This is followed by Dexterity. Artoria needs to be able to move if she wants to.

After that is Constitution. Artoria is tougher than your average bear, but it’s not what she’s known for.

Then we choose Intelligence. Artoria has a good head on her shoulders, enough to know she needs to keep Merlin around anyway.

Finally, Wisdom is our dump stat. She doesn’t have a good sense for interpersonal relationships, even if she can rally an army. Just ask Lancelot. Or Mordred.

For Artoria’s background, the obvious choice is the Noble variant, Knight. This gives you proficiency to History and Persuasion, and gives you the Retainers skill: three ordinary people who’ll take care of all that day-to-day stuff for you. Feel free to base them after your less popular family members. My personal suggestion is to make three clearly different people and claim they’re all Gaheris. Nobody will be able to prove you wrong.

Class Levels

1. Paladin 1: Starting off to no one’s surprise as a paladin, Artoria has proficiency with Wisdom and Charisma Saves, as well as All armor and weapons, and Intimidation and Religion. Your status leaves you difficult to approach, and you’re most well known for hunting down religious artifacts. This is your life now, you’re the shiny cup guy.

You also get Divine Sense, letting you sense extraplanar entities around you, and Lay on Hands, providing yourself and your allies with welcome healing.

2. Paladin 2: At second level, you gain your fighting style, Great Weapon Fighting. Even from an early age, Excalibur is calling to you.

You also gain Spellcasting with Charisma as your ability. There are plenty of spells you can use here, I’d suggest looking at Ceremony, Detect Magic, Divine Favor, and Searing Smite. Searing Smite lets you turn your sword into a lightshow and bring the pain, which is one step off of our final goal.

You also have Divine Smite, a skill that lets you burn spell slots to make your sword moreso.

3. Paladin 3: You’re finally taking the Oath of the Crown, for obvious reasons. With this oath, you gain Command and Compelled Duel as your oath spells, and can Channel Divinity by issuing a Champion Challenge or Turning the Tide. As king of England you will need to set an example for all the realm to follow; no evil can be allowed to get past you. This is also around the point you meet Merlin, and everything goes to hell.

4. Warlock 1: Merlin is your Archfey Patron, granting you a whole trove of magical goodies. At this level, you gain a Fey Presence, letting you spend an action to force a wisdom save on everything within 10′ of you or else they are charmed/frightened of you until the end of your next turn. Now that Merlin is in your support, everybody wants to be on your friends list.

You also gain Pact Magic. It should be noted that unlike most magic multiclassing, pact magic and spellcasting don’t mix. You get exactly the spell slots listed for each level of paladin and warlock you gain. You can, however, use warlock slots for paladin magic and vice versa.

At this point you should pick up the Booming blade and Eldritch Blast cantrips, along with the spells Expeditious Retreat and Faerie Fire. Expeditious retreat is functionally replacing part of your Mana burst ability, allowing you to move much faster at the cost of magical power. Eldritch Blast is a stable of the Warlock Community, and one day it will become the closest thing to a laser sword we can manage.

5. Warlock 2: At this level, you gain Eldritch Invocations, small effects that alter your life just a little bit, like everything Merlin does to you. Here, choose Repelling Blast and another invocation that will be getting immediately replaced next level. You also gain another spell at this level, but that will be getting replaced shortly as well, so pick whatever you’d like right now. Also, Repelling blast isn’t absolutely necessary, so feel free to pick whatever flavor of blast you’d prefer.

6. Warlock 3: At this level, you gain your Pact of the Blade. By now, you’ve probably noticed your life is getting pretty much dominated by oaths and pacts. This is kind of a running theme for you. The good news is you finally get Excalibur, the magical greatsword you’ve spent so long working towards! If you find a cooler sword later, you can also turn that into your pact weapon, but for now let’s bask in your achievement.

At this point, replace that one invocation with Improved Pact Weapon, turning your sword into a spell focus so you can shoot lasers out of it, plus turning it into a +1 weapon in the process.

You also gain another spell, and your slots move up to the second level. Gain Calm Emotion and Invisibility. Now your allies can repress their emotions as well as you do, and I’m sure if you asked nicely your DM will let you target your sword instead of a creature for the latter spell.

7. Warlock 4: For your first Ability Score Improvement, add to your constitution and charisma, to make your spells a bit stronger. At this level you also gain a new cantrip, Create Bonfire, and a new spell, Enthrall.

8. Warlock 5: For your final stop as a warlock, your spell slots move to the 3rd level, and you gain another spell, Tongues. You also gain a third eldritch invocation, Eldritch Armor. This allows you to spend an action to magically put on any suit of armor you can touch, even if someone else is already wearing it. The effect only works if you’re not already wearing armor though, so don’t go thinking you can sneak two sets of armor on. I would think it should also let you take off armor as an action, but you’d have to talk to your DM about that. It would be pretty on point for Artoria, though.

9. Paladin 4: Now that Merlin’s done ruining your life, we can get back on point. Put your next Ability Score Improvement into Strength, and try to forget the last 5 levels happened.

10. Paladin 5: You gain an extra attack each turn, and some 2nd level spell slots that won’t leave you like the warlock ones did. You gain Warding Bond and Zone of Truth as Oath spells, and should also take a look at Branding Smite when you get a chance to prepare your normal spells.

11. Paladin 6: You gain an Aura of Protection. Friendly creatures (including yourself) gain a bonus to saving throws equal to your charisma modifier if they’re within 10′ of you. You’re so good at ruling you inspire people just by being around them.

12. Paladin 7: You gain another crown skill, Divine Allegiance. If someone within 5′ of you is going to take damage, you can react and throw yourself in front of the bullet.

13. Paladin 8: Another Ability Score Improvement, once again going into Charisma. A lot of your abilities are riding on this stat now.

14. Barbarian 1: We’re taking another detour to grab some barbarian skills. Rage acts like your mana burst, giving you a sudden boost of strength when you need it the most. You’ll need to remove your heavy armor for this (again, push to tweak that Eldritch armor with your DM), but in return you gain advantage on strength checks and saves, +2 to melee attacks, and you resist bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing damage. This eats up your mana pretty quickly though, so you can’t use spells or concentrate while doing so. You also get Unarmored Defense, so you aren’t completely defenseless when your armor’s off. The lowest your AC can go now is 10 + your dexterity modifier + your charisma modifier. A good king is ready at any time, after all.

15. Barbarian 2: You gain a Reckless Attack, letting you have advantage on all attacks this turn in return for your enemies having advantage on their turns. Hopefully by this point your sword is fancy enough that they don’t get those.

You also gain Danger Sense working in place of your instinct skill. This gives you advantage on all dex saves caused by sources you can see.

16. Paladin 9: Back on track yet again, you gain your third level spell slots, complementing the warlock slots quite nicely. You gain Aura of Vitality and Spirit Guardians as oath spells, and should look into preparing Daylight and Crusader’s Mantle.

17. Paladin 10: You gain an Aura of Courage. Your presence is so calming, allies within 10′ of you can’t be frightened.

18. Paladin 11: You’re so holy now, you have Improved Divine Smite. Now your weapon is so fancy it deals 1d8 extra radiant damage without even trying.

19. Paladin 12: Spend your last ability score improvement on Inspring Leader. Good kings send good men to die for them in battle. Great kings make them happy to do so.

20. Paladin 13: At your final level, you gain the ability to cast 4th level spells. You gain Banishment and Guardian of Faith as oath spells, and should look into Aura of Purity and Aura of Life as well.

The strength of this build lies in its combat versatility. You’ve got one fancy sword with 57 flavors of smite for close combat, a couple useful cantrips for midrange fighting, and even a bit of healing if things go Camlann.

The tradeoff is you’re not particularly great at any one thing, a condition I like to call “Terminal Protagonist Syndrome”. You’re also pretty bad at social interactions, but you’re Artoria, so that’s to be expected. Finally, if you can’t convince your DM to let you tweak Eldritch Armor so you can take your armor off with it, your barbarian levels are pretty much wasted. Nobody said it was easy being the king.

#fate grand order #fgo #2 #Artoria Pendragon (Saber)#dnd

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milfspiggy · 4 years ago

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Let’s Rank Snifits!

Hello! Snifits are my favorite Mario enemy! To share my love for them, I’m going to go through the entire extended Snifit family, and score them all on a scale from 1 - 10 for your reading pleasure!!

The OG Snifit

Perfect! 10/10!! How could you improve upon such a great design?? Well, you’ll see soon enough, but Snifits are the ultimate being in any form. They’re like Shy Guys, which are already great and wonderful - but Snifit benefits from the addition of a little snoot!!! All creatures could be improved with a snoot, I think. Snifit’s snoot especially looks both boopable and smoochable. I wish I had a Snifit plush. Anyway, let’s move on to some of their friends and get started under the cut!

Spookum

So, weirdly, to start things off, Snifits aren’t called Snifits in Super Mario RPG!! They’re called Spookums! I’m not sure why, but it’s kind of cute, I guess?? This is still pretty much just a Snifit, just with a less cute and evocative name. 9/10.

Snifit, Again

So, I lied!! Sorry!! There actually are enemies called “Snifit” in Super Mario RPG, but they aren’t your standard rank and file Snifits in this game! There are only eight of them, and they’re minibosses!! At least, that’s my understanding from the mario wiki. I haven’t actually gotten that far in Mario RPG yet! I’m bad at video games. Snifits four through seven are actually promoted in-game from Spookums to Snifits if you lose to them in battle, though! That’s a really cool mechanic, and I’d love to see things like that more often in video games. I also like the idea that the colour of the Snifit denotes rank, with black being the strongest. Overall, despite just being a black variant of a normal Snifit, I like these ones just a little bit more than your average Snifit! I just think they’re neat! 10.5/10!!!

Whistle Snifit, Slurp Snifit, and Spike Snifit

Sorry, I lumped these guys all together because they’re kind of just normal Snifits wearing accessories!! They’re all from Paper Mario: Colour Splash. 6/10 for the whole set. I love them all very much but they could stand to be a bit more adventurous!! I like the Spike Snifit the most because they’re wearing a cute little hat and also don’t have something stuffed into their snoot. Why would you put something into an already perfect snoot?? It looks uncomfortable. I like that the one with the straw is called a Slurp Snifit, though!! Slurp is a fun word. Also, these guys all come in red, blue, green, yellow, and pink! Yellow and pink are my favorite colours though, so I used those ones to make up for them being kind of boring :3

Chariot Snifit

Hey, this one is just in a car!! That’s somehow both worse and better than the last few from Colour Splash. It gets half a point though for teaming up with a Chain Chomp, which is another favorite of mine. 8.5/10!!!

Snifaro

Aaaaaaaa!!!!!! Look at these two pals!!! I love them!! The Snifaro is actually just a regular sized Snifit with a cool pharaoh mask standing on top of a regular Snifit inside of a sarcophagus!! The Super Mario Wiki says that one of their attacks features Snifit hopping on top of Snifaro’s sarcophagus and riding it like a surfboard. That’s wonderful and perfect! Take notes, Colour Splash Snifits!! This is how you accessorize!!! 10/10!!

Ice Snifit

Take a look at these two!! They are so adorable and look so warm in their little winter coats!!!! I like the walking head version used in the original Mario+Luigi Superstar Saga a lot, but the more standard looking version in the remakes are impossibly adorable. I would give the original Ice Snifit a 10/10, and the revamped one a 11/10!!! It’s quite possibly my favorite Snifit design.

Ice Snifit, Again

For some reason, this is the only image of these guys on the Mario Wiki, but they’re just as adorable as the previous Ice Snifits!!! Yoshi’s Wooly World is, aesthetically speaking, one of the best Mario games of all time. Possibly the best game ever? It’s too bad that it’s such an easy game. Regardless, this Snifit is on par with the last Ice Snifits, but for whatever reason I like the redesign in Superstar just a liiiiitle bit more. 10.5/10!

Toy Snifit

Absolutely lovely!! I’m not sure if these pals come in different colours, and I’ve never played the Mario vs. Donkey Kong series, but this Snifit makes me want to check them out!!! I’d like a real life wind-up toy of this Snifit. Let’s make it happen, Nintendo!! 9/10!!

Scorchit

Very cute! Kind of plain though. Sorry, Scorchit, but simply spitting out fire won’t put you on the same level as Ice Snifit!! It’s also apparently called “Zeus Guy” in the manual for Yoshi’s Island DS? That’s a cute name! I feel like it would fit better if this Snifit spat out lightning bolts instead of fire, though! I like that it’s pink. 7/10

Laser Snifit and Gunner Guy

Ohhhhhohohohohoho!!!!! Ohohoho!!!! This is where the real fun begins!!! Look at these friends!!!! I love them!!!! This is what Slurp Snifit up there should have been!! The snout is the defining trait of Snifits, and these two have bumped it up to eleven!!! Apparently Gunner Guy can’t move on his own, though, which is heartbreaking. Also, he might not actually be a Snifit??? He might be a Shy Guy with a gun on his face! Is that what all Snifits are? Are they the same thing? I choose to believe they aren’t, and the snout is somehow biologically part of their face along with the rest of the mask. I’m rambling, though. Laser Snifit earns an 11/10 from me, while Gunner Guy gets an 8/10 for making me feel sad while still somehow being delightful.

Propeller Mucho

What the heck?! What a whimsical name!! Unfortunately, this is the only image of them on the Mario Wiki, but they still look pretty cute to me! I imagine they’re the same as Fly Guys, but like. Snifits. I love the idea that Shy Guys and Snifits are kind of mechanical or toy-like in nature. Maybe that’s why they live in the toy box in Paper Mario??? Anyways, 6/10. I wish I could see them better! They would have scored higher, but they’re outdone by.......

Flying Snifit

A friend with a way less whimsical name, but a way more whimsical appearance!! Look at those wings!!!! Most Mario enemies, when given the gift of flight, have cute little angel wings slapped onto them - but not Flying Snifit!! No, instead, this little garden buddy sprouts a pair of adorable cartoon butterfly wings!! I adore this Snifit!! They’re going to get a whopping 11/10 from me! We aren’t done with Flying Snifit just yet, however, because they also show up with a couple of friends!!

Flifit and Sneed

I told you our garden party wasn’t over yet!! These are also easily some of the most inventive varieties of Snifit!! There are only a couple of others that stray from the general Snifit body plan, and these two are both some of the weirdest and cutest!! God, I love them. Flifit spits out Sneed, which in turn spits out (presumably inanimate) seeds! I love whatever the heck Sneed is doing in that animation. I choose to interpret it as a little butt waggle. Shake it, Sneed!! For both of these friends, I’m handing out a solid 10/10!!!

Snufit

So, like I said before, there are only a couple of Snifit-adjacent friends that change up the general body plan that is Snifit! Snufits are ghost Snifits that live in Hazy Maze Cave in Super Mario 64!! They’re very cute, but when I was little I was actually kind of afraid of them? I’m not sure why! In the original game on the Nintendo 64, Snufit was round and shaped like a Boo, which is pretty cute! I love the idea that all ghosts in the Mario universe are just big round balls of ghostliness. This version of Snufit gets an 8/10! It’s pretty cute, but the redesign of Snufit in the DS version is so much more appealing to me, for some reason! I think it’s the floppy little sleeves. As someone who always wore sweaters that were much too big for me and always seemed to have “puppy paws” as my mom would call them, this new Snufit just calls to me. Also, shouldn’t these guys have been called Spookums?? I guess Mario RPG did come out before Mario 64, but it wouldn’t be the first time some weird name shenanigans had gone down in the Mario universe. Anyways, the redesign of Snufit gets an 11/10 from me!! It’s up there with Ice Snifit and Flying Snifit as one of my favorites!!

Spider

Hey, these guys aren’t even in any of the games!! I think that should change though. I like them a lot!! Pretty creepy, and bizarre, though! I used to watch The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! a fair amount when i was little, but I must have missed whichever episode these guys appeared in. I think I would have remembered them for the rest of my life if I had!! I used to be really afraid of spiders when I was little. I think they’re really neat now though!! Still, I’m only going to give these guys an 8/10 for virtue of never being used in a game, and also for being kind of creepy and also for not having eight legs. I know that stuff isn’t their fault! It’s just the way things are sometimes. Life is cruel, especially to spiders.

Spiky Snifit

Okay, these guys are the last of the official Snifit friends! I probably should have put them up with Flifit, but I wanted them to stand on their own. I love cacti a lot, being from a desert, and saguaro cacti are just the best!! I also love how Flifit seems to have their mask organically growing from their stem, but Spiky here could easily just be a normal cactus with a Snifit mask slapped onto it!! Does it have a face underneath?? Is it literally just a cactus??? Could you make anything into a Snifit by putting a mask onto it??? Spiky Snifit here raises a lot of questions, and answers literally none of them, and for that I love them. 9.5/10!!

Finally, I would like to give an honorable mention to one other Mario enemy that I think has been unfairly left behind and forgotten. Let’s take a moment to remember a dear friend....

Tweeter

Tweeter is an enemy that debuted in Doki Doki Panic/ Super Mario Bros 2 alongside Shy Guy, Snifit, Bob-omb, Birdo, and many other friends that we all know, love, and continually see in Mario games even today!! Unfortunately, unlike many of the other enemies from Mario 2, Tweeter hasn’t really ever shown up again! They make the occasional cameo here and there, but even those are few and far between!! Why haven’t Tweeters ever shown up again?? It’s unclear, but they’re also pretty high up on my list of favorite mario enemies! It turns out I just love masks and snoots, especially if that snoot is also a beak. If I were to give these guys a score, and I will, I would give them a 100/100!! Gone, but never forgotten (by me).

If you read all of this, thank you for your time!! I love you, and so does Snifit and all their many friends!! Feel free to shoot me a message telling me your favorite Mario enemy, and check out the blog @weirdmarioenemies !! I’ve been binge reading their entire archive, and as you could probably guess, it heavily inspired me to make this post! I just love Snifit so much, and wanted to spread the love!! I hope you all come to love them as much as I do. Also, @nintendo, please bring back Tweeter and also make Snifit a playable character in Mario Kart, Mario Party, Mario Tennis, your next main Mario platformer, et cetera, et cetera... In fact, let’s ditch Mario and make the games all about Snifit!!!

New Super Snifit Bros!! Coming soon to a store near you!!

#snifit #shy guy #tweeter #mario enemies #weird mario enemies #reviews #mario reviews #mario enemy reviews #doki doki panic #super mario bros 2 #mario 2 #i dont normally tag things #but boy do i want to spread the good word about snifit #i just *clenches fist*#love snifit so much

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