#so either i just totally missed something
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Arcane preference reacting to a s/o with a mental health issues (eating)
My disclaimer, as someone with this issue, Iâm sorry if this isnât what you wanted. Iâve actually been thinking about it for a while, but I was a bit cowardly about doing it, so Iâm taking the opportunity now. I donât want to go out of character, so Iâm sorry if some characters come across as harsher than others. Unfortunately, I know I should write the name of the illness, but if I post it that way, Tumblr will take it down.
Jayce:
- Heâs academically intelligent, but it takes him far too long to notice that somethingâs wrong. But you canât blame him, itâs something so far removed from him that he couldnât have understood it sooner.
- When he does realize, his first reaction is panic.
- Jayce canât feel like just a blade of grass; he feels emotions deeply, taking on any blame, especially if something happens to the people he loves. His first thought is that he did something to make you feel that way, inadequate.
- But once the panic phase ends, the responsibility phase begins.
- He does the grocery shopping, he cooks, and his workouts become more regular, where he has you climb onto his back while doing push-ups or holds you in his arms during other exercises.
- He doesnât know why you do it, but the quickest way to show you that your weight isnât a problem is by showing you how easily he lifts you.
- And maybe, if you feel up to it, he can hold you in his arms with one arm supporting you while he cooks, letting you taste various ingredients.
Viktor:
- Unlike Jayce, it only takes two suspicious behaviors in a row for him to understand whatâs happening. Itâs something far from his world, sure, but he recognizes it.
- And he confronts you. He doesnât beat around the bush, doesnât stammer; he might even sound angry because he doesnât understand why youâd hurt yourself like this and willingly give up your well-being.
- I wonât lie, I doubt that an open discussion about something this delicate with him wouldnât lead to at least one hysterical cry.
- But heâs not brutal for the sake of being brutal; his suffering and frustration turn into anger. It takes him a while to calm down, but he wonât accept compromises.
- Youâll have meals together at home, either returning to your rooms together or straight to the house, so no one can see you and you wonât feel bad.
- And he wonât force you, he tries to handle it with as much care as possible, but thereâs no day that goes by without him getting up from the table if you havenât eaten at least two food items per meal.
- He loves you too much to see you hurt yourself in that way, and knowing that he can't do anything about it makes him feel powerless.
Ekko:
- It takes him a weekânot to understand, but to process it.
- Having grown up in total poverty, the idea of giving up food âfor whimâ makes him react in a way that is only human.
- And the whole thing is too distant for him: everyoneâs skin is grayish, 90% of the population of the Lanes has missing limbs and monstrous prosthetics, and everyoneâs goal is to survive as long as possible. What does it mean that youâre against your own survival??
- As unsupportive as he might be regarding the issue, he becomes incredibly vigilant and concerned.
- Heâll always make sure youâre warm enough, that youâre comfortable, and no matter how frustrated he is, heâll always try to stay close to you, even just holding you in bed until you fall asleep.
- Every single comment you make about your body, heâll respond with, âDonât talk about my partner like that,âÂ
- no one can speak badly of you, not even you.
Vander:
- The most understanding: he was young once too, and although in his size meant an advantage, he and Silco snuck into various galas when they were younger, and there, even though he never had these problems, he would feel a strange sensation seeing that he was the biggest in the room or that it was hard to find someone to steal clothes from that would fit him.
- He doesnât lecture you or anything like that, he doesnât get angry despite how he grew up; he just feels sadness for you that you canât see how little that complex matters and how beautiful you already are.
- His compromise is vegetables. If you donât feel like eating every meal every day, it doesnât matter, but at least four days a week, you have to have three meals.
- And for the rest, heâll cook, making sure to prepare the best dishes made from vegetables so that you donât feel guilty and your body doesnât deteriorate.
- But he doesnât support your illness, he simply ensures that you get everything you need and never go below the necessary intake without having you feeling guilty about it.
Silco:
- Hoping that the most attentive and watchful man in the lanes wouldn't notice how, suddenly, meals go from moments of lightness to something you try to avoid at all costs is a bit foolish, but he says nothing.
- He waits for as long as necessary, basically to see how long it lasts and how much you're not planning to talk to him.
- When he realizes you wonât, not anytime soon, he waits for you to be alone in his office, where youâll find a slice of cake on his desk. Sure, itâs a low blow, but itâs also the fastest way to get you to confront the issue without too many escape routes.
- Heâs a big fan of the saying âdirty laundry is washed in the family,â so if you act strange about meals in front of others, he wonât allow questions or jokes, but in private, he wonât accept ânoâ for an answer.
- He has enough problems already without you crying from hunger pains or having psychotic episodes due to sugar deficiency, so as long as you're under his watch, under Zaun's eye, he won't let you live with unhealthy standards.
- During meals, he becomes the strictest. He doesnât say anything, but one look is enough to make you think twice about contradicting him. In the evening, though, when your mental health is most fragile, he becomes gentler, comforting you as much as you need.
Jinx:
- You find fertile ground, but like any good bearer of the same issue: she feels she can do it, but you cannot.
- Being with her or in her space becomes like a live-action version of Thumbelina: sheâll leave sweets, chocolates, things she knows you like to encourage you to eat so you canât hurt yourself.
- She usually forgets to eat herself when sheâs caught up in her studies and work, but if she has someone to care for, it doesnât matter how, sheâll make sure to remember. Even if it means setting a few colorful bombs with timers.
- She feeds you. In the most visible, worst way. Itâs easy that if you turn your head, youâll find a cookie shoved in your mouth unceremoniously.
- And every single tight-fitting outfit disappears from her lair. Magically, whatever clothes you pick up from her pile fit loosely, but if you ask her about it, sheâll claim she doesnât know what are you talking about.
Vi:
- Want to see Vi in a panic, becoming super protective and possessive in a way? Just wait for one episode, and youâll see everything you havenât seen.
- Sheâll check on you at least three times a day, and in the evening, when you have pain or a crisis, sheâll run back and forth from the room, thinking about everything she can do to help you feel better without making you feel guilty.
- During meals, sheâll hold you in her arms and insist that you eat, but not aggressivelyâin a way thatâs almost frightened: sheâs always been used to fighting big, real monsters, but even when it came to her sister, she could never defeat the invisible ones, and the fear of failing or hurting someone she loved again terrifies her in an agonizing way.
- Like Jayce, sheâll also try a more physical way of reassuring you, like body worshipping when youâre alone or working out with you to show you that your weight doesnât matter.
Caitlyn:
- She doesnât know how to react; she realizes it quite quickly but fears that by acknowledging it, she might only make you feel worse.
- One day, she gathers the courage to ask if everything is okay and tells you that sheâs noticed those behaviors. When you open up to her, telling her about the issues, she doesnât respond right away and simply hugs you.
- She becomes more caring, making sure that you donât have to attend banquets or dinners where you wouldnât feel comfortable, bringing you food in your room to eat together, and sometimes even leaving the room so as not to put pressure on you.
- When you mention a craving, she immediately springs into action to get it for you, even if you complain that you werenât serious. Once she understands how your condition works, she orders everything in three portions, so she can eat with you and then be the first to say that she wants more, asking if you want to share the third portion.
- If you have fat accumulated in any area, sheâll knead it with her hands while kissing you, to let you know that she loves every inch of you.
Mel:
- She notices you're having a crisis before you even realize it yourself.
- Sheâs a ruler, but what she learned from a young age is that a leader must appear reliable and look good, so even if unconsciously, she too sometimes experiences small crises when she feels like she isnât looking perfect.
- No conversations, no lectures, just an increase in cuddles, moments of intimacy, and later, she brings home sweets.
- âThey were a gift to me today at the council,â she lies, but sometimes she says she got them for both of you. She doesnât want to make you feel like youâre in the wrong. She knows that when youâre ready and if you want to, youâll bring up the issue with her, but for now, the best thing she can do is help you get through the episode with euphoria, love, and treats that encourage you to listen to your hunger rather than the illness.
Sevika:
- Like everyone in Zaun, the idea that someone would voluntarily give up food is simply incomprehensible to her.
- But she wonât comment on your problems. She doesnât intend to invalidate them, but she also wonât encourage it.
- âAre you sure? Thatâs a bit too little,â will be her comment when you eat something ridiculously small, before making you a proper portion of food herself. If you try to argue, sheâll respond with a smug smile, saying that if you eat that little, youâll end up breaking when youâre in bed together.
- As much as possible, sheâll try to get the best, freshest, and most natural food, to reassure you that you donât need to worry, but sheâll never insist that you eat if you say you donât feel up to it. Sheâll gesture for you to come sit on her lap and keep you there, occasionally offering you things she knows you like, telling you that sheâs really craving them, and if you want them too, sheâll go get them.
- If a crisis is particularly bad, sheâll try to finish her work as quickly as possible to be able to stay with you for the rest of the day and not leave you alone.
#jayce x reader#viktor x reader#ekko x reader#silco x reader#vander x reader#jinx x reader#vi x reader#caitlyn x reader#sevika x reader#mel x reader#jayce talis#viktor arcane#ekko arcane#silco arcane#arcane vander#jinx#vi arcane#caitlyn kiramman#mel medarda#sevika#arcane x reader#arcane headcanon#arcane 2#arcane writing
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can we get a caitlin x reader where reader is a fan and meets cc in Indy at an event and they just click. caitlin isn't fully out to her teammates though so she's trying to be lowkey with her flirting and is failing miserably lol
flirt
caitlin clark x reader
warnings: a little awkward, inspired by caitlin at the gala a few weeks ago, requests are open!
the gala is in full swing, filled with everyone from sports icons to industry insiders, and youâre just trying to soak it all in. youâre there representing your broadcasting company, a little starstruck but trying to keep it coolâuntil you spot caitlin clark a few feet away. sheâs standing with a whole group of her indiana fever teammates, laughing and mingling: kelsey, temi, nalyssa, katie lou. theyâre all impressive, but itâs caitlin who has this energy that keeps drawing your attention.
youâre doing your best not to stare, but caitlin glances up and catches your eye, a little smile tugging at her lips. then, without missing a beat, she excuses herself from the group and walks over, her teammates too caught up in their own conversations to notice her laser focus on you.
âhey,â she says, her tone casual but that smile just a little too interested to be entirely professional. âhaving a good time?â
âyeah, itâs amazing,â you reply, trying not to sound too flustered. âhonestly, itâs a bit surreal seeing everyone in one place.â
she laughs, leaning in a little. âtrust me, weâre just normal people. maybe a little taller than most.â thereâs this spark in her eyes, and she finds these tiny excuses to brush her hand against yours or lean just a bit closer than necessary. every time, your heart skips, but each time one of her teammates glances over, she shifts back, trying to look casual. problem is, sheâs terrible at being subtle.
kelsey notices first, raising an eyebrow as she looks between the two of you. âcaitlin, making new friends?â
caitlin gives her a look, doing her best to play it cool. âyeah, just, you know⌠networking.â
ânetworking, sure,â kelsey says with a smirk before wandering off, clearly amused.
caitlin rolls her eyes, muttering, âignore her.â
âoh, i donât mind,â you tease, grinning. âsheâs just picking up on your very subtle flirting.â
caitlin flushes but tries to laugh it off. âi donât flirt,â she says, then quickly adds, âbut⌠hypothetically, if i wereâwould it be working?â
youâre about to answer when temi appears, glancing between the two of you with a knowing smile. âhey, are we interrupting something?â
ânope!â caitlin says a little too quickly, shooting you an almost guilty smile. âjust⌠talking shop.â
temi nods, clearly not buying it but not pushing either. âright. well, weâre heading over to grab drinks. want to come?â
caitlin hesitates, glancing at you. âactually⌠i think iâll stay here a bit.â
temi raises an eyebrow, clearly holding back a grin. âsure thing,â she chuckles, walking back to the others.
as soon as sheâs gone, caitlin sighs, giving you a lopsided smile. âthis is going so well, huh?â
âyouâre not as subtle as you think,â you laugh.
she bites her lip, looking down for a second, then pulls a small card from her pocket. âhere, for networking,â she says, handing you her number scribbled on it.
âtotally professional, right?â you ask, mirroring her grin.
âof course,â she replies, her eyes twinkling. âthough⌠if youâre around later, maybe we can expand this networking session.â she winks, cheeks flushed as she tries to play it off, failing miserably.
her teammates are watching as she rejoins them, giving her all kinds of teasing looks, but youâre left there with her number in your hand, grinning to yourself and already looking forward to whatever might happen next.
part 2? lesson coming soon for all that asked
#caitlin clark x reader#caitlin clark#wnba x reader#wnba imagine#wbb x reader#wbb imagine#iowa wbb#indiana fever
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FREEDOM OF SPEECH
No Nut November - Day 10
NNN Masterlist...
-⤠When Matt sees you with someone else, he couldn't help but admit how he feels
It was obvious that tensions were high. Anyone could see that. After being friends with the triplets for so long, you felt like things couldnât change, yet you found yourselves proving that wrong. You saw the way he looked at you, only because you were looking at him too.Â
Everything, down to the way you acted and dressed revolved around him. You just couldnât help it. You wanted, no, needed him to notice you, to see you. Â
Yet after what felt like years, his behaviour didnât seem to change. You tried to convince yourself that he was just excellent at hiding his feelings towards you but if anything, they were on show.Â
âYeah, this is y/n! Sheâs my best friend, the one I told you about.â A shudder crept up your spine as he introduced you. It shouldnât have bothered you, but you just couldnât help it. Thatâs all you were to him, a best friend. You tried to be grateful, after all you were friends with the fucking Sturniolo triplets. And here you were, pitying yourself because you wanted more with one of them. Â
You just couldnât get over it, over him. How was it fair that he had total control over your mind. The little moments you used to fawn over just turned into self-deprecation. Any other girl you knew that had caught Mattâs eye wasnât like you. They were prettier and had mastered the art of make-up. Their hair was styled and flawless even after the hours of a party. It was just something you couldnât do.Â
Yet, his hand would still drop over your shoulder, rubbing your skin as you watching a film. Heâd insist you borrow his jacket when it got cold, goose bumps rising to your skin. A few of them ended up in your persona collection after he denied the return saying, âkeep it, they look better on you.â There had to be something, right?Â
Months of trying felt pointless, flirting fell flat and as far as you were concerned? Matt still thought of you the same. You werenât going to sit around anymore just pining over someone who obviously didnât feel the same. Â
So, when another guy stood in front of you, a hand stretched out as an invitation for a dance, how could you say no. Gawking at Matt wasnât going anywhere, and you didnât want to never endlessly pray that heâll pull you close. Why get your hopes up when an attractive man is stood in front of you now?Â
Although, when you placed your hand into his, Mattâs eyes were on you. He liked you, hell that man loved you. He didnât miss anything you handed out to him. His anxiety just stepped in front whenever he wanted to act upon it. No amount of talks with his brothers fixed that.Â
He wasnât dumb, he saw it burn in the manâs eyes. Lust. He only wanted a quick fuck, he wasnât a newcomer. Unbeknownst to him, you had spent your time staring at Matt rather than scanning the crowd. Â
He tried to ignore it, he really did. But as much as he shared the feeling, he hears your laugh through the group of people. He heard everything. The flaunting, the flirting, and the way you let yourself giggle at any small thing he did.Â
After about ten minutes of his eyes tracing where his hands met her body, heâd had enough. He couldnât believe it took him until you were in the arms of someone else to make him see just how much be didnât want you to be with anyone else.Â
Before either of you knew it, his hand was wrapped around your wrist, dragging you away from the man. Â
âHey! Matt?! Whatâs your problemâ He didnât listen, he only waited until you both were secluded.Â
âdonât go and dance around him, heâs just in it for a fuck.âÂ
âMaybe I wanted that.â You crossed your arms, pouting like a small child.Â
âAs if, you arenât that type of person.â As much as you wanted to admit it, it felt wrong. You were leaning into another part of yourself. It hurt both of you.Â
âOh really? As if you care about what I do.â Every sour thing came up your throat before you could stop it Â
âExcuse me? âHis tone changed significantly as he etched closer, his hands now crossed over his chest.Â
âYou havenât batted an eye at me in months.âÂ
âI have.â The more he spoke, the more be admitted things he wasnât proud of.Â
âHm. When then, name one time.â You wanted to believe him, but if you did. Could you bring yourself to trust him.Â
âLiterally every night since I realised, I love you.âÂ
Shit. Now he HAD fucked up.Â
@melliflws @yuhayeee @st7rnioioss @sturn-bugz @bueckerrss @worldlxvlys @raysmayhem-72 @patscorner @y0urm4m @bernardsbendystraws @junnniiieee07 @luverboychris @jnkvivi @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @shorthairchris @colorthecosmos444 @anabethinking @zay-sturns @anyaa2s @emilyfaith2003 @jassturn @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @sturniolosiphone @ribread03
Š ENDEREIES 2024
#â
Endereies NNN#Šendereies#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#matt x reader#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo angst#matt sturniolo smut#chris x reader#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturiolo fanfic#chris sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo angst#chris sturniolo smut#x reader#sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo fluff#sturniolo hurt/comfort#sturniolo resolved angst#sturniolo smut#sturniolo triplets imagines#sturniolo x reader#endereies
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I´m sorry for the long rant but I´ve really had it now, I think
The Buddie fandom as it is right now, including their outcrops in the media, is the product of Tim, Fox/ABC and also the cast and I´m no longer hesitating saying that. It is crazy how accomodating everybody still is towards them, how nobody ever says anything when they´ve crossed the line so many times. The level it reached during the last hiatus is unreal. Even now, AFTER they got what they were clamouring for for months they STILL can´t stop spewing bile. And all throughout you have everybody and their mother still pandering to them by liking fanart, not shutting Buddie down (except Ryan), by not defending any of the actors that played LI. Hell, Oliver either pretended they don´t exist or, in the case of Taylors actress, even joined with shade posts he deleted after everbody had enough time to screenshot them.
Every step of the way they got rewarded for behaving like animals and at this point I lay the blame no longer on clearly unwell people on the internet but on the people who allowed this to get to the level it has. Instead of denying certain questions or even whole interviewers, instead of filtering comments, instead of being for once unambiguous in discribing Eddie and Bucks relationship, instead of saying one word in defence of any of the actors that got shat on, everybody involved keeps their mouth shut and does their damndest to not offend that crowd. And the baiting, baiting, baiting. For fucks sake: Nearly every scene of Buck and Tommy included Eddie either being there or being mentioned. Nobody will ever convince me that this was anything other than a tip of the hat for these people. The latest post on 911 IG is just fucked up.
I´m at the point where I want this to be their last season and I want the spin off to tank as well. As for the actors- most will be fine and the rest won´t be missed.
I totally get your frustration, no need to apologize for ranting.
What I don't understand either is...according to them they won. Lou is gone, Buck single again, the last scene of the episode was a buddie scene...why still behaving so vile, still harassing Lou for posting something related to SWAT? Why are they so obsessed with him? I mean I get the obsession but in a completely different way đ¤Ş
Why do people invest so much time to hate something? If I don't like it, I ignore it or I quit or whatever and concentrate on the things that I love. It's so much easier and healthier.
At the end of the day, they will not get their happily ever after either. They will keep being loud and aggressive. And as long as the show rewards them for behaving this way, they will stay.
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Objective #11 is done. I don't know if I'm completely right about some of the things on the assignment, but if I'm wrong, better to find out now. And at least my guess was educated.
#amy rambles#amy's to do list#music theory#catholic university of america#cua#musicology#music major#to be honest though#i checked my notes and i didn't find any helpful information#now i'm not saying that i'm a perfect note-taker#but i do tend to take pretty detailed notes#so either i just totally missed something#which is certainly possible#or the professor didn't actually say anything about this particular issue#i guess we'll find out
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I know that Gffa werewolf Obi-Wan is not omegaverse, but what if the force decided it wanted to enter it's grandparent era, like in What's Mine if Yours is Ours? Anakin also thinks werewolf Obi-Wan in the creche is the cutest fucking thing he's ever seen, so a "the force doesn't work like that" pregancy (and c-section birth)Â wouldn't be the worst thing that's ever happened to him.Â
Random person: Obi-wan, you consider yourself a monster because of the whole werewolf thing, right? Obi-Wan: Of course. Random person (who apparently has a death wish): Right, right. So, does that mean your child will also be a monster if they are a werewolf? Obi-Wan: *slow blinks*Â Obi-Wan: *books mind healer appointment* Obi-Wan and Anakin: *dispose of rando's body* Obi-Wan: No
oh this is tempting this is tempting but Iâm gonna say no to the mpreg like with no to the omegaverse we are aiming for a delicate balance of âneeds to use the squick tagâ and âitâs fine not toâ and mpreg would absolutely tip it over
plus I think I like that theyâre Jedi in every other way except for this incredibly dangerous attachment but everyoneâs like well I guess itâs fineâŚ.we watched him struggle against his instincts for so long we can look the other way in regards to him taking a mate
(After all, the Code says nothing against mates. Just marriages đ)
Either of them having a baby would probably be a step too far to continue to be Jedi. Obi-Wan has his hands full enough as it is with all the younglings in the creche he canât possibly look after a pregnant anakin, and Anakin would have nightmares about how protective and demanding a pregnant Obi-Wan would be. The Force can go have another kid and play the game again if it wants grandchildren so bad
#asks#obikin#gffa werewolf au#I wonât lie I have made my mind accept mpreg through careful application of a/b/o and also almost always just ignoring the actual preg bits#but I canât if the a/b/o isnât there and also if I have to consider the preg bits#thatâs why even in whatâs mine is yours is ours his pregnancy is like hardly mentioned lmaooo#and in roadtrip au I hardly ever focus on it writing đđ#and also Iâm dedicated to keeping this au switchy bois#and itâs harder to do that in an au where one is pregnant especially when itâs just tumblr posts#because that context gets lost as people miss posts and see others#so all together no pregnancy for either of them not anakin and not obi-wan#but I totally understand the desire because it would give obi-wan something else to be so feral over
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halloween is like in a month and as worlds worst procrastinator (self declared title) i think i'm finally gonna fufill my dreams and make an animation meme of the mtt with that one happy halloween junky rin song (but ughhh i need to decide on costumes i'll give them!!!!! off to the drawing board!!)
#this is to say i'm actually doing something productive with my time#instead of just doomscrolling and wasting hours on tiktok#i should probably do my homework ngl#anyways! i was thinking it would totally be hilarious if one of the costumes was the jk mtt#like maybe i put one of the real mtt in the jk mtt's outfits. it would be so fucking hilarious#and also i want them to have cool different weapons than just normal bone axe knife thing#i want horror to have a chainsaw. or a sawblade. either one#and i want killer to have those cool double swords that zuko from atla has. maybe he'll be a pirate#and obviously dust gets a gun. maybe i'll ditch the jk uniform idea and just put him in a hazmat suit#who knows man i haveIDEAS. now lets see if i have the motivation to fufill them#temporarily fueled by inspiration permanently held back by motivation#and my inspo is 500% gonna be the error version of this meme#and i want the mtt to all have short little cutscenes and then at the end all be together and have a cool final clip together#and like idfk im not an animator man.........#this is gonna test my animation skills i swear. maybe ill actually learn how to animate this instead of tweening#but tweening fun!!!! i just dk if it can achieve the look i want#anyways i think its ginna be so silly and cute and exactly what i dream of#i miss animation memes can we pls make them again. AND NOT HAVE THEM LAST A WEEK!!!!!#looking at YOU tiktok. animation memes are coming back but they only last NOT EVEN A MONTH!!!! WHAT THE HEL!!!!!!!!!#its not fair not fair not fair not fair NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!#so like. dust bazooka hazmat suit. killer double sword pirate. man i need to decide on horror#omg like a magicians assistant with the saw???? and now for my last trick ill make your head disappear#halloween edition of one head dog coming up. anyways i like that idea....... yeah#tricule rant#but of course ill do that tomorrow. i have homework to do!
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*
#guess who missed her Fes to Casablanca flight?#and is now on a 4.5 hour train journey desperately hoping to reach the airport in time for her flight to Dubai?#I travel all the time and Iâve never missed a flight#but I guess I was just so exhausted (and heat sick)#that my body put me to sleep last night without me meaning for it to happen#and I woke up 40 minute before my flight was supposed to depart. when the airport is 35 minutes away from Hay Tghat#so instead I got to pack my last few bits in a frenzy and desperately try to find a train that would get me to Casa in time for that 2:30 pm#flight. thoroughly do not recommend carrying a bag that weighs almost as much as yourself#down steep marble stairs with no railing in the dark#or any of this really#totally not bitter about the $88 flight ticket and $45 on extra baggage I lost either#(I will be way worse if I fuck up the entire Middle East travel plan b/c that was 4x as expensive)#inshallah let me get there and let the emirates plane have chargers so Iâm not without a way to tell everyone Iâm not dead in Meknes#or something#not the stones#me stuff
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actually ascension needs its own post since that's the one with the most details to speculate over and im starved for soho talk so i will talk to myself if need be
First the cover again, because I kinda can't get over it:
my only thing is that I had been hoping we might get Lizbeth on a cover again since she's never been on one of the boxsets before, despite being the 2nd person credited on all 4 of them (even if that's just alphabetical, still, she's the only one of the four main characters who never makes the cover)
But letting that go...
I know we already kinda knew the brief for this one but damn I didn't expect it to go quite this hard. Maybe that's just because the Parasite & Ashenden covers were (comparatively) similarish to each other and I was so pleased with Unbegotten's, and then got so used to it as the placeholder for Ascension while they kept postponing it, I wasn't expecting anything this colorful or detailed or with what I can't help but register as Fun New Outfits even though these are still like, pretty damn basic as far as costumes go. Still, it's a different vibe from everyone in suits and trenchcoats on every cover, technically. (Oh the woes of being an audio fan such that two characters owning sweaters actually does qualify as new information)
On top of just being visually delightful though, I know we knew religion was gonna be a fairly big part of this one, but I didn't actually expect to get quite this much of it - though I'm glad of it for a number of reasons. The BF twitter already made the ineffable joke so I don't have to, but also yeah I did very much spend all of season 2 episode 4 of good omens half convinced Samuel Barnett & Dervla Kirwan were about to pop up around any given corner (if you will go around being gay supernatural and horrible at your messy bureaucratic jobs in midcentury soho then I'm sorry, this is where my brain's gonna go) - so, fuel to that fire. But in terms of actual important things, at least one of my Soho wishes looks to be being granted because we have a Rev Edward Folgate on the cast list, which must mean we're finally meeting Norton's father, even if his mother & brother don't appear (which they could, technically, I've definitely seen BF not list all the doublings on their cast tabs before). Religion, domesticity, and the nuclear family are all things that absolutely fascinate me when it comes to Norton's character, so getting any amount of story involving his father & his church is something I've been actively hoping for for a long time now.
(I will say I'm a tiny bit bummed Saffron Coomber isn't on the cast list to play Mia again, but I kinda figured she wasn't going to be since Greg Austin's Armitage, who's making his first recurring appearance after originating in Unbegotten, was listed ever since the boxset was announced - presumably if she was also returning, that would've been handled in the same way. But since Unbegotten ended with Lizbeth and Mia going on a date, I still held out hope. Who knows though, maybe things did go well for them and Lizbeth just has a better work/life balance than Norton so she can date someone without them getting dragged into every scifi plot. I know that's not a very common accomplishment for any Torchwood agent, but a gal can hope)
At this point I know I'm completely in the realm of speculation & even wishful thinking, but I'm really really hoping we get some more clues as to Norton's overall timeline in this one, and I have a feeling that even if there's nothing as direct as dates given, the events of a plot like this one are going to heavily influence my personal interpretation of it.
To say that life & death are major themes for the soho crew feels wildly reductive, but even by Torchwood's standards and taking into account its origins as a piece of media with Jack Harkness & his newfound immortality at the heart of it, the living/dead status of this bunch has always been fantastically up in the air to me. Obviously Ghost Mission introduced Norton as kind of a ghost before revealing more obvious ghostly characters later on to which the title might have been referring, but his being from the past did beg the question of his survival into Torchwood's present era all the same, which Outbreak later alludes to much more directly, and his habit of showing up via hologram in multiple stories only further obfuscates any certainty we might have about where & when he definitely can be said to be alive and well. Then you've got Lizbeth and Gideon both being effectively 'brought back to life' via paradoxes that prevented them ever having died in the first place. Again, they are very very far from being the only Torcwhood characters this happens to (for a sprawling EU, it's really rather impressive how often & in how many different ways Torchwood as a whole manages to circle back to being about like. chaotic undead queers at the end of every day. though I suppose that consistency is part of why I keep falling in love with its different iterations again and again). That's without even getting into the question of Norton's dubious fate in God Among Us - and I say dubious because I know some people take that to be his ultimate death, but I personally think that reading something as vague as that as having any kind of finality rather goes against the spirit of this whole world/series, not just because I want him to live. (There are obviously other ways to make him survive/reappear, but I don't see this as a River Song scenario where we can safely assume one of his earlier-released adventures had to happen at the end of his personal timeline). But wherever God Among Us falls for him, he does very much meet God in it - or at least, a god, since the sentinel in Unbegotten is also described as a god of sorts, and even if he doesn't ultimately have the status of the god Jacqueline King is playing there, Unbegotten is still full to bursting with ghosts/undead/came back wrong/echo characters to continue underscoring that life/afterlife theme.
So all things considered, even allowing for the fact that we know Norton's twin hobbies are lying about himself and abusing time travel to suit his own ends/ever-shifting alliances, I find it difficult to believe we could get through a whole 6-part boxset about religion & death without something providing some kind of compelling evidence about where this adventure fits in among his other run-ins with apocalypses and gods and ghosts and dead-but-still-here characters/creatures, so I'm very much looking forward to any further exploration on that front.
And lastly, and least intellectually, I really want to know what the hell 20th-century Torchwood's obsession with Reginalds is. Reading through the cast list, I had to do two separate doubletakes over the character 'Sir Reginald Peebles' - firstly, because I had Reginald Rigsby on the brain, this being Soho (and the other Troughton brother being so active on BF's releases for this same month) - and secondly, because reading this in conjunction with the announcement for the July monthly adventure in which the new main Torchwood guy of the 20s is apparently called Sir Reginald Dellafield, there was a brief moment where I took that monthly release to be a tie-in with Ascension. I don't expect it to be, but damn. was it really so popular a name?
anyways, catch me thinking about those stained glass windows for the next couple months I guess (and knowing Torchwood Soho, for a long long time after it comes out as well lol)
#torchwood soho: ascension#let's start with the most obvious shall we? behind norton - hellfire or divine radiance? whadda we think?#i know one's much more likely for him but also consider: he's been a fairly good boy by norton standards anyway lately#well i say 'lately' like i know when this takes place#idk why but i kinda feel like this starts very soon after unbegotten#comedy is probably why honestly. since that ends with them being like hey! something went right!#i think ever since i first heard that i was like ok cool so the next installment's gonna be something earth shatteringly bad#& it's gonna kick off dramatically literally one second after this scene ends right?#not that it wouldnt be nice to have some (clearly-defined) timeskip there#tbh i feel like that's the one thing that's missing with soho sometimes - those little medium-sized gaps in continuity#where either speculation or even a missing scenes style fic would go#between parasite & ashenden lizbeth was dead and andy wasnt in the right era for soho shenanigans#and norton and gideon went through SO much offscreen (offmic?)#rebuilding torchwood and starting a relationship and breaking up and getting possessed by space eels and destroying torchwood again#that's like... Too Much to analyze/meaningfully discuss without a few more details from canon#and between Ashenden & Unbegotten it's very unclear how much time has passed#norton certainly seems affected when he sees gideon again for the first time but we also know he went there for him so how long was it?#that and we have literally zero explanation for what andy's doing in the 50s in that one to begin with. has he been there continuously?#or did he leave and come back? if so did norton even have to try justifying it to him?#or does andy just accept at this point that he'll be summoned for anything norton feels is noteworthy? honestly either's plausible w him#but also we have so little confirmed about what torchwood looks like at this point in time!#maybe andy gets summoned for all missions bc he norton and lizbeth are virtually the only agents left after gideon quits#there's just a few too many things unexplained/alluded to for me to go total total fandom mode on this#speculating & theorizing about everything that happens off-audio#doubtless this is mainly bc of norton's general untrustworthiness#like im sure a different main character would've left the audience with fewer uncertainties after this many hours of storytelling#but with soho im still left needing just a tiiiiiny bit more before i feel im knowledgeable enough about the situation to expand upon it#in the traditional fandomy 'transformative' way#right now most of my fanning over it is just speculation about what precisely we can be confident in from the dialogue we do have#but i'd like to go further than that truly. these characters captivate me. obviously.
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Did I miss something why do so many ppl have the take that Harribel isn't actually one of the strongest Espada??
Like every discussion and video that talks about power scaling and x vs y is like "ah yes the strongest espada: Yammy, Starrk, and Ulquiorra" like WH-????
#Ulquiorra's 'actual' rank is always up for debate obvs bc it's never totally clear if aizen actually knew about segunda etapa#(i think the real answer is just that 4 is a bad luck/death number in Japan so Kubo thought it fit for ulqui lol)#But Harribel (and sometimes barrigan too but less often) is always left out when ppl talk about 'top espada'#As if aizen didn't hand pick her for his Karakura raid#Starrk died from a shikai btw and aizen had to 'kill' Harribel himself (whom fucking survived that takedown btw)#Just sayinggg#So either ppl are leaving her out for a Reason or. I'm a dumbass that missed something lol#bleach#buzz buzz
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Zote the mighty, knight of great renown,
My mum's dog's name is Jacquelyn, but we call her Jacq for short. The pets have specific nicknames for when they are being silly.
The Jack of cards is also known as a Naive. I decided to call Jacq Naive, in honor of you!
...Riveting.
I am uncertain why you inform me of this, or why that name would be in honor of me specifically. Nor have I any clue what a "dog" might be. Regardless, I hardly find it appraising to have a pet named "in honor" of me. A subservient animal does not deserve a title relating to my renown!
#prattling on#[[ooc: ok genuinely this ask confused me a little bit hsdgKJSHDG. I tried looking this up to see if there's something I'm missing#and i'm finding that the Jack was called a Knave as opposed to a Naive. So. assuming you Meant that#I can ASSUMe what the joke is. If there is a joke here and ur not just being 100% honest#but I feel like maybe I'm looking too hard here. I dunno. If there is a joke I'm not getting then Hey it makes total sense zot wouldn't#get it either lmao]]
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#vent post uwu havent seen those in a while have we <33#looks like a depressive episode again#aw shucks#:/#laid in bed all day. did absolutely nothing. slept for 18 hours.#havent washed my hair since saturday. havent taken my thyroid meds in three days so idk that may have sth to do with this too ig#my flat is a total mess and im ignoring all uni groupchats (uni itself as well) and non-groupchats too.#only pretending im Normal to my best friend even tho she explicitly asked me to tell her when im feeling Bad and she does reach out to me#with her problems but i just cant bring myself to talk to her about mine#also i miss my ed so badly i need it back desperately. and i mean DESPERATELY.#anyway. something is seriously seriously wrong with me rn. like fr.#and i still haven't found the earring kms#had a bit of a â¨strongly suicidal⨠moment yesterday like it really made me go Wowwwwww girl hold yer horses cause yeah.#we havent seen that one in a while either#(no matter what my evil poll tags might have said lmao). anyway. absolutely horrible last two days.#and i once again feel like the worst and most useless and most disgusting person in the world.#my body is trash and there's nothing in this world that i hate more than it. i wish it would just. evaporate. whatever.#i hate it with a passion. peace and love.
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going to sleep soon ď˝ let me get some things off my chest here.... my eyes are super itchy again (fell into the trap of snuggling my cat even when i swore i wouldn't do it again)
#cw vent#this is bc i have a math exam tmrw IâM SORRYYY i feel some kind of way about that#this is the first exam where i am near confident i will fail. and its just kinda sucky#my mental maths is really poor and due to the fact i skipped grades (unable to afford Education) i donât know a lot of things my peers know#my results as they are right now? theyre genuinely ok. not bad. but theres still gaps made by the years of missing out on school#this is one of them#its so embarrassing having my classmate look at me weirdly when i ask her about something that should totally be obvious or#something silly like that. i donât know. its especially hard for me to be interested in maths because my old maths teacher has#literally fucked me up iâm so intimidated by every math teacher ever and i just hate the feeling of being stupid or whatever#i donât enjoy being comforted by A+ students bc theyre like cmonn its totally fine!! i relate i got a 39/40 :(#or my friends who make jokes about how stupid i am and its just aghhh#its already been almost a year since ive enrolled in school again but i still feel so out of place#so miserable i could just die#so miserable i think i SHOULD die#and i'm just nervous about getting an absolute 0. failing my first test made me want to literally kill myself#sorry for being dramatic but when you have a sister whos awards and certificates fill your house shelf its kind of like........#aghhhh!!!! maybe i should just accept that i'm good for nothing at all!!!!!!#not that great with numbers or formulas. probably not that great at writing either. nor am i as eloquent as i'd like to be ď˝#not artistically inclined. science is a bore. not ~ naturally ~ adept with neither languages nor history! psychology! economics! sports!#forgive me for not being able to do anything good at all ... zzz
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wait, dude, wait. aini was supposed to be cosmic horror??
girl, seriously? i dunnooooo iâm not really feeling it fellas
#i'm some i've read some cosmic horror(/weird fic prob more fitting here) in my time and i do not get those vibes from it at aaaaall#i can believe that cosmic horror is what aini *thought* it was doing. but no.#game doesn't commit nearly enough and its so like. self conscious in terms of 'we gotta make this appeal to more people' to commit#and like in this economy it's just not weird enough tbh#simulation theory as plot point in and of itself does not a cosmic horror/weird fiction make. or like. an interesting one#and when the writing ultimately chickens out with the 'but its okay because even if it's a simulation we all matter and should be content'#which it will#i should be feeling existentially uneasy and instead i'm like 'my god i totally know exactly where this is going'#and it's so needless! you have a scifi concept ripe with fic psychological weird horror potential that went untapped!#why let that just shrivel up in the corner cause sim theory's more big brain?? make a different game then!#i simply do not care about the ''frayer'' or whomstever the player avatar is called today. cause the game don't care either lol#its heart somehow aint in it. which is weird considering how much other good shit was tossed in favour of the new Thing#its pure mechanics. which could work if the game goes all in on mechanical narrative. but the mechanics dont even work#it's not even interested in the interesting meaty bit of the concept it's so completely linear it misses its own point entirely#the mechanics arent integrated with the thematics at all its so clunky which is a shame cause clearly a lot of nitpicking went in#from like the dialogue writers#proofing this thing was a nightmare i would imagine#and like. you can't have a pandemic rocket and stormtrooper horde as the climax of your story and expect me to seriously inspect it#as a proper serious work of cosmic horror i'm too busy rolling my eyes and laughing at it#not saying that something can't have both weird horror and comedy elements to it reasonably speaking#but the horror elements aren't beefy and deeply thought out enough nor is the comedy integrated in such a way to hit that sweet spot#uuuugh theres something in here somewhere but not like. as one game. take one or two elements split them off and develop them#like properly. fully with care and gusto and focus on what the writing actually feels. then you could have a couple of good games#and maybe even a decent cosmic horror product#but this Aint It. weird fiction/cosmic horror is more than a base concept or aesthetic flairs you gotta gets the guts underneath#it will not tag this properly but i will make the walls of tag attached#of increasing and therefore increasingly absurd length. for the bit
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i am so so tired lately
#the bin#'lately' as if im not always like this. i wanna sleep so much but my body also wont do that proper either :/ dont know why#i think i might have insomnia or something. or maybe im bipolar. my doctor said maybe thats it but they dont really know#idk what to do abt the sleep issue tho. my body just refuses to stay asleep rn and a lot of the time it refuses to sleep at all#i feel sick to my stomach today too :( today was. not good. i did some bad things and im just trying to not be upset over them#its hard though. idk. everything feels so much all the time and i want to let it out somehow but my body just wont for some reason#i think maybe i should decorate my room and that will make me happier. ofc i dont have anything on hand nor the money to go buy#stuff so idk when i can do that. its so bland n undecorated so no wonder i feel insane all th time. nowhere in the whole house is decorated#ill maybe take some cardboard and paint some stuff on them to put up. maybe some lil bunnies. i migjt have the $15 to go get weaving#supplies and then i can make some stuff that way. i already have embroidery floss so i could embroider on to make it cool looking#i miss my knitting supplies. i could totally make some cool wall stuff with that. oh well. ill just wanna feel calm isntead of upset always
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#sometimes I see people complaining about dnis and itâs like. no youâre missing the point#true sometimes people do have inscrutable dnis. or theyâre contradictory. or too highly specific.#saying âbigots dniâ or âassholes dniâ is useless itâs true#HOWEVER#for me at least. a dni is more about letting people know what to expect from you#I say âx dniâ both to deter âxâ from interacting#and also so that âyâ knows Iâm safe to interact with#plus#on the rare occasion that I accidentally reblog something that supports x#people who follow me can look at my stated opinions and ideals and realize that it was probably a mistake#and hopefully let me know so I can delete it#another point I see brought up against dnis is#ââwell instead of saying you donât like terfs why dont you just reblog posts supporting trans peopleâ#and well yeah. I do. but i reblog a lotta stuff and someone might have to scroll kinda far to see that#so why not just make it easier and put it at the top of my page?#another another point I just saw is that dnis increase interaction from the people you donât want interacting#well I dont see how thatâs my problem.#also I donât think thatâs ever happened to me. idk how that would happen#and idk about you but if Iâm on someoneâs dni I donât interact. If someone has â@ntis dniâ in their bio Iâm staying far away#like. I really donât think this is that hard or strange.#like I said I do sometimes see dnis and think theyâre too long or simultaneously too specific and too vague#but those people are usually either young or inexperienced or maybe just donât totally get it#that doesnât mean they deserve to be ridiculed#theyâre just trying to make the internet a comfortable place to be. whatâs wrong with that?#if someoneâs dni pisses you off just donât interact.#block and move on. isnât that what you guys are all about?#mine
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