#so don't hold me accountable for your own choices

[lil-artist-blog-fandoms-ocs]

I thought about it for a bit, and I've decided to give you guys a heads up

Since I plan to make this "fight your own demons" kind of story, the main plotline will be about Sun and Moon helping a miserable human to get better

So, it's not gonna be pretty, especially since I'm planning on giving y/n high-functioning depression and possibly suicidal ideation, which can lead to some heavy and dark thoughts of the character (I'm already thinking about writing the first meeting of the trio, an let me tell you, y/n thoughts are freaking sad)

So, if you're sensitive to this kind of thing, beware

[scentedpeachlandcreator]

how i manifested my dream life with extremely hard circumstances + how you can too ♡

Note: this is not my post and it's blushydior's post that everyone been searching for, so i thought why not making it as a post,and blushy if you see this, please don't kill me i know you said that you'll change your post but you disappeared After that.

♡ table of contents:

1. the importance of making this post

2.my take on manifestation + the 3D

3. HOW I DID IT - my journey in 4 phases i went through that include my mindset changes up to the moment i got my desires 

4. your new rules & routine from this moment on

5. a note from me!

6. frequently asked questions: separated into topics regarding the 3D, self concept + miscellaneous questions to have you leaving this post stress free.

now let’s get into it. read every bit of this post “ ~ ୨୧ ♡ ·

I. THE IMPORTANCE OF MAKING THIS POST

i’ve been through it all. you can read my experiences from old life in the “my life before” section of my success story + here, here, here and here. this is my success story on how the law of assumption has changed my life. as you can see from the “how” section of the post, i had purposely left it short, sweet and simple to avoid people complicating the simplicity of the law of assumption. but as time went on, anons and other blogs made me realize that since people do tend to over-complicate the law, the need i felt to make an in-depth post on how i personally manifested through my hard circumstances grew strong.

my blog often highlights topics that pertain to mental health, so i want to make sure those who find themselves in the same situations as i once were feel seen, heard and loved. you are all so powerful, amazing and hold so much potential more than you know. with this post, i hope i am able to help you realize that fact to the best of my abilities.

𝐈𝐈. MY TAKE ON MANIFESTATION + THE 3D

something that you’ll see me say all the time is: “life is a blank canvas.” that’s because it truly is.

remember that you are working with the law of assumption. what you assume to be true, is true. nothing is set in stone unless you say it is. things have meaning only if you assign it one.

you are the sole creator of your life. you are the artist that controls the brush/pen, you control what goes on and off of this very malleable canvas we call life. you don’t have to do anything. therefore,

you don’t have to: affirm 24/7, be specific, word your affirmations correctly, listen to subliminals, ignore the 3D, be positive all the time, meditate, have high vibrations, script, visualize, do sats or lullaby, go into the void, affirm in the present tense, avoid the mirror, etc.

you can literally say a random word like “bonk” and if saying it means you have all your desires or money is constantly filling your bank account, then that’s what will happen!

“but what if my subconscious doesn’t know what it means?” your subconscious mind is literally you. it’s not some stranger separate from you. if you want a scene to play out a certain way on a specific date or a romantic partner with all the most perfect qualities even if you can’t name it all at the top of your head, your subconscious has your back with the details! you have your own back. don’t worry.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO IGNORE THE 3D.

read that again and again and again and again and-if your circumstances are quite literally in your face, how can you turn the other way and ignore it? you could if you wanted but you’ll only be doing more harm and we don’t want that, right?

“so then what do i do?” you KNOW it’s going to change. it’s challenging when you don’t fully believe the law to know it’s going to change, so for a start, tell yourself that this is not the end. why? because the moment you had a desire and claimed it as yours, it has already been set stone in the 4D so the 3D has no choice but to reflect it. this is your movie, you KNOW this is not the end. you are director and star of this movie! you control how it’s going to play out.

𝐈𝐈𝐈. HOW I DID IT - The 4 Phases (more so, 3)

PHASE 1:

i found out about manifestation from tiktok. from there i have tried scripting, law of attraction and had taken a liking into the craft. i tried it all until i found out about the law of assumption, sammy ingram and finally, tumblr.

PHASE 2:

upon finding out about loassumption tumblr, i had learned more and more about the law but as time went on, i had realized i had never really fully tried to apply the law. the idea just didn’t come about to apply it. as many others, i had overconsumed information, always wondering if i was doing it right, questioning the 3D,

so i took a break. upon discharge, i realized many things and decided to spend an extended amount of time alone, away from social media. i’m someone who values alone time as long as if it’s spent wisely.

during this time away from tumblr and sns platforms in general, constantly surrounded by other people’s takes, information, and opinions, i had learned so much about the law of assumption on my own! i went into the law of assumption with a fresh mind, actually applying the knowledge and overtime of affirming and persisting, i ACTUALLY understood the meaning behind “creation is finished. it is done.”

i’m advising you to step away from social media (that on it’s own has negative impacts) and be alone with your thoughts. i know your thoughts haven’t had it’s time to be alone because you’re most likely constantly seeking information to help you. and i don’t blame you. it’s just that, you are always bombarded by thoughts that aren’t your own, you barely give some time to yourself to think for yourself!

and if you can’t help but be on tumblr for other reasons than loassumption, unfollow blogs for the time being, scroll past informational posts to avoid second guessing your application. tell yourself that

YOU ARE DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT!

PHASE 3:

when it was time to apply the law, i simplified it. you choose what you desire, you affirm from your desire and persist. okay! got it. so that’s what i did. i affirmed whenever i thought about my desire, i kept saying that it is done! so in phase 2, i mentioned how i realized how creation was ACTUALLY done, right? before deciding to apply the law, i kept seeing posts saying that but i didn’t really fully understand it until the realization hit me during my time away from social media. (see? i love alone time. solitude is my bff) — here’s my breakdown for you:

once you decide a desire is yours to claim, THE SECOND you affirm that, in your head, imagination, your 4D, it is ALREADY yours. therefore, it has no choice to become physical reality. (this is why your subconscious only needs to hear things once in order for it to conform!)

it will always be yours for as long as you sustain that assumption (persist), it is yours! no matter what.

this is the meaning of “it is done.” it’s like telling a chef what dish you want, once they know what you want, they’ve got you covered. except that this chef is you. you know the details of your desire, you declare it’s going to conform instantly so why are you worrying? there is no need to worry.

informational post on the 4D + 3D here:

❝ If you judge after appearances, you will continue to be enslaved by the evidence of your senses. To break this hypnotic spell of the senses you are told, "Go within and shut the door,” The door of the senses must be tightly shut before your new claim can be honored .Instead of fighting against the evidence of the senses you claim yourself to be that which you desire to be. As your attention is placed on this claim, the doors of the senses automatically close against your former master (that which you were conscious of being). As you become lost in the feeling of being (that which you are now claiming to be true of yourself) the doors of the senses once more open, revealing your world to be the perfect expression of that which you are conscious of being. ❞

i kept time away from social media and being persistent really helped me be aware of my thoughts.

persistence has helped me:

be aware of thoughts that i wouldn’t have been able to catch before. for example, i was declaring that i have all of my desires and creation was done, but i found myself affirming “okay but where is it?” — this made me realize i was questioning my desires in my 3D even though i knew it was done in the 4D. (you don’t have to do this, you can imply your 3D conforms fast with whatever affs)

flip and interrupt my intrusive thoughts faster and faster the more i persisted. i hated my intrusive thoughts so much. like it was so annoying and hurtful. it was filled with replaying past scenarios that happened to me, things i wished had played out differently, just people who absolutely did not deserve the right to be occupying my mind and space! so i was grateful to learn that with persistence, i started to have less and less of those.

(see!! mental diet, persistence!! <3 this is how habits form and strengthen duhh. remember not to abandon common sense for the law)

AND THEN, PHASE 4:

i had entered sabbath, the state of the wish fulfilled, calm and relaxation that my desire has already manifested and there wasn’t nothing left for me to do other than persist. after so much persisting and saturating my mind with my affirmations, i reached being peace with my desires. i’m really glad i persisted. see how after persistence of assumptions, though false, will harden into fact? see how even your affirmations would feel “fake” at first but will soon feel natural to you? this means that i wasn’t questioning where it was, how long it was taking, etc. but this doesn’t mean i was ignoring my 3D. i saw it all but i knew it was going to change BECAUSE i felt peace in my inevitable desires.

then, i received my desires.

❝ I couldn’t possibly be worried about anything if I really believe that imagining creates reality. ❞

❝ When I speak of feeling I do not mean emotion, but acceptance of the fact that the desire is fulfilled. Feeling grateful, fulfilled, or thankful, it is easy to say, “Thank You,” “Isn’t it wonderful!” or “It is finished.” When you get into the state of thankfulness, you can either awaken knowing it is done, or fall asleep in the feeling of the wish fulfilled. ❞

𝐈𝐕. YOUR NEW RULES & ROUTINE

☆┆YOUR 3 NEW RULES ARE:

1, you have all your desires:

i have all of my desires.

creation is finished. it is done.

2. you manifest quickly and easily:

manifesting is always so easy and instant for me.

i always manifest within 2 days or less, the 3D conforms instantly.

the 3D instantly reflect my 4D.

the physical reality instantly reflects my 4D/imaginative reality.

3. you are okay because nothing can stop you from getting the inevitable:

everything is going to be okay because creation is done.

i am always aware of my thoughts. nothing can stop/get in the way of my desires.

no amount of intrusive thoughts, events and opinions of others have the power to stop my manifestations.

✉️: choose one affirmation from each list or make one of your own that makes you feel comfortable.

☆┆ROUTINE:

affirm on loop as an act of saturating your mind whenever you think of your desire until you feel satisfied,

in the morning, after you wake up: saturate your mind with affs.

read the manifesting vaunt below everyday (whenever you feel like it) — read it over and over again until you feel confident then go about your day!!

at night, before you sleep, affirm this:

“i kept all my thoughts in check today. i didn’t waver once. my mind is completely saturated with the new story.”

optional tip: if you want to saturate your mind even more as a start, you can set reminders with sticky notes around your space, have affs on your phone lock screen or wear a bracelet.

✉️ NOTE: soon enough, your mind will be saturated and you won’t need to do this anymore. this is just a start for those who battle intrusive thoughts!

let yourself feel any emotions that may come up because of your hard circumstances then once it’s out of your system, affirm your rules, especially rule #3!

do not consume any loassumption information if you know it will only cause you to second guess your ability. if you have the urge to ask a blog a question, try to make sense of what they will say and answer it yourself.

in times of doubt, remember that life is a blank canvas. your desire is set in stone, so your only task is to persist.

REASSURANCE VAUNT

creation is ACTUALLY finished. it is done. the second i claimed my desires as mine, it has already manifested itself in the 4D so it has no choice to present itself in the 3D! all i have to do is affirm and persist. i always have unwavering faith in my manifesting abilities and the law. i never fail. i am successful at every single thing i do. manifesting is so effortless. no amount of doubt, worry, fear, anxiety, intrusive thoughts or events can ever, and i mean EVER stop my manifestations. why? because i said so. this is MY life. i make the rules. so if i say i manifest easily, the 3D conforms instantly and that i have all of my desires, then it is a FACT. i’m literally unstoppable. everything i want is inevitable. my only task is to persist, sit back and relax as the 3D reflects my 4D. it all happens so fast, but what else do you expect from a master manifester like me?

SOMETHING TO NOTE:

most of the time, people think affirming on loop is saying it like a robot but what you don’t realize is that you’re affirming as if you’re reading a book. it’s not filled with enthusiasm but it’s not exactly monotone either. stop overthinking it. it’s like the voice you’re reading this post with. correct?

again, soon enough, your affirmations will feel natural and you won’t feel the need to affirm constantly. the routine above was given for those who battle intrusive thoughts, making your affirmations dominate to the point where you don’t waver.

QUOTES on STATES:

❝ I paid thirty dollars for my first suit. Today a suit will cost me $200.00, but regardless of the cost, when the suit is new I am aware of it. But let me wear it long enough for it to feel natural and I will no longer be conscious of it. The same is true for a state. You may desire the state of fame. If you will think you are famous and remain conscious of the state long enough to make it natural, as the thoughts flow from you they become a natural part of your body of beliefs, and the world will proclaim your fame. ❞

❝ I urge you to use your own wonderful creative power and deliberately move into the state of your choice. Make it now by occupying the state long enough so that it feels natural. Haven’t you had a suit of clothes that felt so new you were conscious of them every moment? I know when I bought my first suit I walked down Fifth Avenue thinking everyone I passed knew my suit was new. People passing paid no attention to me, but I was so aware, so conscious of my new suit. That’s exactly that happens when you move into a new state. If the state of affluence is new, you think everyone knows it, but no one knows or cares whether you are rich or poor, so walk in the state until it becomes natural. The moment the feeling is natural, wealth is yours! ❞

𝐕. ENDING NOTE

i love you. read that again. you can do it. read that again. i am so so so so proud of you. read that again! you are so strong, you have SOO much potential and power. it’s time for you to tap into it, angel. stop making excuses. stop telling yourself you can’t do it. stop the nonsense! you’ve dealt with your hard circumstances long enough, it’s time for you to turn to the person who can make that change (you) and make it happen. i’m really sorry you have to go through what you did. you certainly do not deserve the unkind treatment. give yourself a hug and tell yourself that this. is. it. you’re going to make the change. you know it and i do too. it’s possible. nothing is impossible for the person who believes! keep the faith in yourself. nothing can stop you.

it’s like those movies where the mc finds out they hold so much power. they doubt it because of the life they’ve had so far but once they give it a shot, they become the most powerful hero ever. you are that hero!!!

i love you and i am, again, giving you the biggestttt hug ever.

now, with that being said, @blushydior​ will no longer be taking asks regarding this topic. i’ve cleared most of the questions that could ever arise. you don’t need my guidance anymore after this post! im seeing you off now. i love you. stay safe. know that you’re loved and hold the power to change your life.

— kisses from bambi ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡

ps. make sure you clicked the words that have links! <3 (the links are missing)

𝐕𝐈. FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Something you wish you could’ve told yourself before you manifested it all to make things easier for anyone struggling:

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

you guys are beating yourself up for something so simple. take a step back and realize that. you’re already dealing with such hard circumstances, so why are you literally degrading yourself for something so within your power and reach? tell yourself everything is going to be okay. you’re always doing your best. you deserve the WORLD.

I could write a whole novel, combine all the posts on tumblr teaching the law of assumption, and every helpful ask out there but at the end of the day, YOU are the only person who could change your life. YOU make the call. turn every doubtful question to a positive one, when in doubt, turn inwards toward the 4D and know that it is real. it is done the second you affirmed it so.

SPEND TIME ALONE.

i can NOT stress this enough. i didn’t include the details of my time alone in phase 2 for nothing. you’ll see that you can answer your own questions. you’ll catch the thoughts you missed because you have always been so adamant on getting answers to questions you already knew. take a deep breathe and stay firm.

SEE WHAT’LL HAPPEN IF YOU DON’T GIVE UP.

What did you affirm to get your dream life?

basically my affirmations i gave above and these. all i used were blanket affirmations.

What does persisting mean to you? What does persisting really feel like? Is it just like a mental diet? or what?

“persisting is sticking to what you want / the end no matter what you’re shown, told, and what you experience + picking yourself up after letting any negative emotions & thoughts pass by.” — blushydior from this ask here (sadly the link is missing:()

+ keeping your thoughts in line of the same category. to word this in a different way, i can affirm so many affirmations just as long as they mean the same thing to me!

“it also is a mental diet. we’re always persisting in something. it’s just a matter of what you’re persisting in. you either persist in your desire or negative/non-beneficial thought 24/7.”

“in your post about how you changed your life, you said you just affirmed and persisted. but from your other posts it seems like you read neville goddard books. so did you just affirm or did you do imaginal acts too? i get confused when people say “just affirm and persist” cause neville never said that.” (original ask here) (note from Eli: the link is missing).

“yes, i read his books and sometimes i would do imaginal acts but i would only do that bc it helped me get by my circumstances, yk? like if i was overwhelmed i would just daydream lol. its like how i read books to escape to another world. but i would say, affirming and persisting was what i focused more on.

i just used what worked for me and used his quotes as a reminder of the power of man. i didn’t want to bound myself to one’s teaching constantly worrying if im doing it “right” or not so instead, i went back to his quotes that consisted of telling me to persist, look inwards, finding confirmation in my imagination, etc whenever i needed a pick me up.

but correct me if i’m wrong, i’m pretty sure many of the success stories he shared consisted of people simply decreeing their desires and feeling the wish fulfilled simply by repetition and acceptance of their assumption.”

What is saturating your mind?

read about it here (the link is missing, but Basically it is repeating an affirmation every minute or hour until you feel fulfilled)

Do we have to believe our affirmations? Did you ever doubt the law in the process?

no, i did not believe my affirmations and YES of course i doubted the law but i kept persisting either way because what could i lose? and here i am.

Did you just affirm, persist, maintain a mental diet and that’s it? No SATS, going to the void, lullaby, repeating affirmations? Did you just got it sleep?

just affirming and persisting. sure, the occasional lullaby, i usually affirmed for 10 seconds max before i gave up. i couldn’t sleep without imagining some romantic scenario LOL #bambiexposed

How to deal with manipulation and narcissism?

remind yourself that you’re in advantage because you know about the law of assumption. life is a dream, you can literally have whatever you want just by affirming. if you know that, why allow yourself succumb to other people’s thoughts and beliefs? i couldn’t allow other people’s thoughts ruin my chance of living my dream life. the thought of it alone gave me the worst feeling.

How did you tackle the feelings of having no hope? + After being in the victim state for so long what did you do to get yourself out and actually stay out?

i persisted on loop whenever i doubted the law. i reminded myself that it doesn’t hurt to just be quiet, affirm and persist to live my dream life. just do it. you gain nothing from turning back to your old habits. see what’ll happen if you don’t give up. ❝ Do you always turn to your imagination and, no matter what happens, do you remain faithful to the state imagined? If you do, you have passed the test. But if every little rumor, doubt, or fear can move you around like a pawn on a chessboard, then you are not keeping the faith! ❞ ❝ Objects seem so independent of our perception of them that we incline to forget that they owe their origin to imagination.❞

What was the timeframe of when you got your desires?

about a week after deciding to be strict with self discipline, mind you, i was dealing with hard circumstances and intrusive thoughts for years. within this time span, i had entered sabbath so i immediately got my desires.

How did you kept a positive mindset when it looked like there was no movement?

refer back to phase 3

What was your affirming routine?

AT FIRST, when i started to get sick of overconsumption and not getting my desires, i knew my mind wasn’t saturated/my desires were not my dominant thoughts. so, i decided to be strict with myself. i reminded myself with pieces of paper in my room that said: ❝ PERSIST. new story only!❞ ❝ AFFIRM!❞

❝ 1.) the 3D conforms instantly.

2.) AFFIRM THE DESIRED

3.) BE LOT.❞

and taped them on the wall infront of my bed & one on my door so i can see it before i head out.

i didn’t need them anymore after a few days. (phase 3 & 4)

What did you do on all the days you woke up and things were still the same?

stop affirming that you don’t see results. i flipped the thought of “nothing’s changed.” to “i am in my desired reality, it is done.” and so on. be stern and remind yourself that you are in control. don’t fall prey to the 3D. turn inwards, find confirmation in the 4D. read quotes above.

How did you not react to the 3D?

i allowed myself to be angry. if i wanted to cry, i did. if i wanted to vent, i did. i ranted my feelings out in my head, aloud or in a journal then proceeded to go back to the new story after i cooled down.

But isn’t ranting “not letting the old story die out?”

you and i could rant until our minds are cleared, just as long as you flip my thoughts, you are on the right track. i ranted for 2% of my 24 hour days. the other 98% i was persisting in the fact that creation was done. as “time” went on, it began to feel more natural and i felt more at ease. i held onto that feeling because i knew this was when i would get my desires and i did. letting out and actually feeling your feelings is important. you’re not a robot.

Did you script how your life would be?

no.

(.𖥔 ݁ note from Eli: here's her post about her life before and After she changed it with LOA, anyway i wanted to make it in a post since the Google document can't let you make a copie of it and plus you can't take screenshots which René didn't allow)

[blkkizzat]

YAKUZA!TOJI X MILF!READER —aka toji on some joe goldberg bullshit

⟢ rating: mdni.18+ each episode will have its own ratings but general warnings— lactation kink, face riding, drugs (weed, alcohol, cigs), infidelity, yuji is sukuna x reader child, size-kink, milf kink, breeding kink, voyeurism, masturbation, dubcon/noncon, squirting, pussy talk, biting, creampies, obsessive tendencies, heavy manipulation, yandere, Toji in daddy and dad mode. this will be fem black reader coded as reader is foreigner and uses some aave but no other descriptors. ⟢ total run time: 𝟏𝟑.𝟒𝐤 of ? ⟢ opening theme: Rich Baby Daddy - Drake

⟢ subscriber access: tag request in comments, previous tag list from the teasers are already accounted for. ⟢ director's note: this fic is to celebrate my year of having this account! literally this is the first fic i thought of and wanted to write and have been working on it since nov'23. so full circle moment fr! i hope you enjoy it. ⟢ executive producers: special thanks to @littlemochabunni, @ryomens-vixen, @yung-notorious and @buttercupblu143 for helping me beta this and bounce off ideas and listen to me be crazy for the past 9-10 months about this fic 🥹.

꒰ disclaimer: this is a plot-driven eventual smut fic and is told mostly in Toji POV through flashbacks until the end of episode 3. so if you stick with me i promise you a freak nasty pay off in episode 4 💕🤭. the build up makes it 100x better, trust~ ꒱

🎬 𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓—

🎞️ 𝐒𝟏 𝐄𝟏: ❝ I STILL GOT SOME LOVE DEEP INSIDE OF ME, PLEASE DRAG IT OUT OF ME ❞

⟢ Reflecting on the last 3 months of meeting you during a time of organizational unrest, how did casual desire turn into a sinister obsession for a deadly yakuza assassin like Toji Fushiguro? It's your fault though, as a new resident of the yakuza luxury high-rise, The Nursery—shoulda known better than to have smiled that brightly at a single-dad widower, mamas. episode run time: 𝟒.𝟕𝐤

🎞 ️𝐒𝟏 𝐄𝟐: ❝ POPPIN' MY SHIT COME WITH CONSEQUENCES, POST NUT CLARITY I CAME TO MY SENSES ❞

⟢ With tensions in the organization at an all-time high and a traitor still on the loose, everyone is on edge. Fortunately, Toji has been watching over you for weeks, especially since Sukuna has been even less attentive. But when Toji notices you making a new friend—a potential lifeline apart from him—can he keep his jealousy in check? Just how far will Toji go to have you all to himself? episode run time: 𝟖.𝟕𝐤

🎞 ️𝐒𝟏 𝐄𝟑: ❝ WE FROM TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS BUT IT'S A MATCH TO ME ❞

⟢ Forced to make difficult choices this past week, it's becoming increasingly clear Sukuna's loyalties lie more with the organization than you. But of course, as chance would have it, Toji is there to console you when you have no one. Who needs Sukuna, friends, or anyone else when you have Toji? Toji can see the cracks forming in your resolve—but when he pushes, will you still be able to resist his charms? Or will you crumble in his hands? episode run time: ⩇⩇:⩇⩇

🎞️ 𝐒𝟏 𝐄𝟒: ❝ JUST SAY GOODBYE TO HIM, THEN TAKE THE RIDE TO ME, RIDE TO ME ❞

⟢ Circumstances align and you're practically served on a platter to Toji, he takes this as the prime opportunity to finally claim you as his. Toji deserves you. You know this though, so he won't have to do a thing—you'll come to him all on your own like a good sexy lil' milf won't you, mamas? Nevermind about your world falling apart around you—Toji has already made all of the arrangements to see that you and Yuji are taken care of. episode run time: ⩇⩇:⩇⩇

🎬 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓—

🎞️ 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐒𝟎 𝐄𝟏: ❝ WANNA STICK AROUND FOR THE RIDE? BABY HOLD ON TIGHT ❞ AKA "DON'T DROP THE PANCAKES"

Prequel/Standalone. Yakuza!Sukuna x Exchange Student!Reader. ⟢ Moving to a foreign country for school ain't all sunshine and rainbows—especially when your student status prevents you from acquiring legitimate employment. Good thing a friend of a friend has a connect for under-the-table work. Although, being a topless maid for a ruthless yakuza leader wasn't on your bingo card for your new life abroad—especially when you end up pregnant. episode run time: ⩇⩇:⩇⩇

©𝐛𝐥𝐤𝐤𝐢𝐳𝐳𝐚𝐭 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒. 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐠𝐟𝐱, 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞.

[baphometsss]

I don't wanna sit here and act like I'm a professional or anything, because I'm not, but as someone who has had to do a lot of work to overcome trauma and reconfigure my brain more or less from the ground up, there's a lot I have to say about Solas's mental state

We know that Solas was essentially used and abused by Mythal for millennia. Even if he wasn't under a geas, he was twisted from his purpose by being made to fight, and then created the Wolf's Fang which was used to make the Titans tranquil and started the Blights. He made those choices himself, but it's important to understand that no choice is ever made in a vacuum. She took advantage of his vulnerability when he was given a body after however long as a spirit semi-existing peacefully in the Fade, and moulded him into a weapon.

He is broken, because Mythal broke him. I'm not incapable of seeing why she did what she did because like I said, no one makes choices in a vacuum and I could write about her for a long time too (in a similar way to how I have had to do myself in my own life in understanding why others abused me). He was so traumatised by everything that happened and he was trauma bonded to Mythal pretty much from the minute he gained a body. Trauma bonds are not about love. He definitely interpreted it that way, as most people do, but that's the weapon abusers use to keep the victim under their control. Abuse abuse abuse show a scrap of love and then abuse some more. If I just take it, I'll get the love/attention I need. I will earn it, because love is suffering, and I have to suffer to earn getting my basic needs met from my family/friends. Mythal, as his creator, was the one who he would've attached to in a similar way to spirit Cole/human Cole.

Trauma bonds are pathological. Mythal made him believe that if he did as she asked, and kept supporting her, then eventually he would gain her favour and they would be able to free all the elves, and he'd be able to live according to his true nature, which is one where he doesn't have to fight. (Remember his personal quest in DAI? He actually kills the rebel mages for corrupting his friend--another Wisdom spirit--into Pride.) In reality, she was just using him. She always kept the bone just out of reach for her lapdog. The line from Rook where they say (paraphrasing here) 'you know, I was actually excited about getting your approval... That's how you do it, isn't it? Keeping giving little scraps of approval to keep someone loyal, and then you turn around and betray them' is so telling too.

Where--or from whom--do you think he learned to do this?

It literally reeks of a pathological trauma bond and honestly, with how isolated, 'grim and fatalistic' Solas is, it is not a surprise that he's so broken.

Solas, essentially, is little more than a lap-dog to Mythal. He followed her like a lost puppy, because especially in his early days, that's kind of what he was. You have to remember that most of the insight we get about Mythal is from Solas's perspective, and he is not a reliable person when it comes to her after so long being repeatedly terrorised and twisted and manipulated. There are several instances where he describes being betrayed by her, and mentions some of the things she did, but he never quite holds her fully accountable and ends up directing his rage elsewhere. (The parallel between Mythal/Solas and the rebel mages/Wisdom is important here.)

This awesome post by @mythalism only reinforces this. He is so messed up in that scene, he is broken, he is holding the Wolf's Fang up, trying to give it to her because it symbolises the burden he has carried for thousands of years trying to avenge her death. He never wanted the Fang, like he never wanted a body. Mythal just stands over him, fully aware of what she did to him, and only getting him to stop because Rook petitioned her successfully, and the reunion with the more benevolent Mythal within Morrigan tempered her anger. She was a goddess, with the unequal power dynamic, right to the end.

As a side note, on the potential romance element between Mythal and Solas, I read an excellent breakdown of it on Reddit a while ago about how out of character it would've been for Solas to keep something like that from a romanced Lavellan, especially in Trespasser when he comes clean about his plan/past. I can't find it now because it was pre-Veilguard release, but it made a lot of sense to me. Solas and Lavellan never have a love scene in DAI because Solas didn't want to 'lay with them under false pretences'. Lying about who you are when sleeping with someone is nonconsensual. You can't consent to sleeping with someone if you don't know their true identity, and someone who knowingly lies about who they are to get into your pants is a sexual predator. For someone who led a slave rebellion (no doubt many of them being sex slaves), and a former spirit of Wisdom, Solas would've been well aware of this. In the unsent letter from Solas to Lavellan he says he came so close to breaking and desperately wanted to stay with them as Solas, with the implication being that that is where he planned to sleep with them once he'd come clean. But because he stops, because he's still unable to forgive himself or release himself from his trauma bond with Mythal, he breaks away, and they never have sex.

Bottom line: Solas would've been honest about it. Especially that. As the Inquisitor says, he can't lie about his heart.

And it's why the Solas/Lavellan romance is so powerful because quote, 'you change everything'. Solas thought he knew what love was, that love was loyalty, devotion, worship, etc. It's not just his plans or worldview that Lavellan changes. Lavellan sees him for who he is, without the mantle of Dread Wolf, and because of that he's able to express his true nature to her, even if he's not being totally honest in Inquisition. Lavellan got much closer to the real him than most, as he says, and changed his understanding of love completely. Unfortunately, he has unfinished business, an unresolved trauma bond, and his crushing sense of duty to the past is what keeps him from taking that final step towards letting go of it entirely. Trick also says Solas doesn't think he deserves love, which tbh is kind of a hallmark trait of people who have survived abuse.

And honestly? Call me a simp but I think he really was trying to get the Inquisitor to stop him. He saw himself being unable to let go because he was so broken and burdened by his guilt, and knew he couldn't save himself--was too proud to admit that he couldn't, because how pathetic does it make him look? And how could he stop now without rendering all the damage he'd wrought pointless? Yet here was someone who had changed him right down to his core, who understood him in a way few people ever had, whom he trusted, whom he loved in a way he hadn't loved anyone else before. It took him 'centuries' to build up rapport with the members of his rebellion. The man doesn't not know how to form attachments without trauma, and suddenly he forms a strong one with someone who loves him completely and without condition. It's a jarring change.

Lavellan says that maybe they're being prideful themselves, refusing to see their own folly. But I think in admitting that they might be wrong, that it might be wishful thinking borne from misguided love to a truly terrible person, they've rendered the point moot. It shows self-awareness, which isn't folly.

If anyone can make Solas understand true love, it's Lavellan. Lavellan loved him when he was being his true self. Lavellan loved him after his betrayal was revealed. Lavellan loved him when his guilty conscience and terrible actions almost destroyed the world. Lavellan loved him because they knew the real him, and knew that his heart and spirit were broken, and knew that their love would endure, that their love would heal him.

And that's exactly where they end up. Healing the past, soothing the Blight, and loving one another completely.

[mondaymelon]

first time in this account lol Idk if you're taking requests but I saw that post some minutes ago and... Idk, wanted to request something lol, if you didn't do it yet! What about headcanons with a reader who doesn't show physical attention until some years of knowing them? Like, they know each other for about 5 years and just then the reader decides to do some small act of physical affection... I wanted the headcanons to be with Childe, Arlecchino, Wanderer and Furina! If you can <3

₊˚ෆ 𝐈𝐅 𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔… | childe, wanderer, arlecchino, furina x gn!reader

( childe's part might be a little ooc. havent done that part of the archon quest yet cries. also mwah arlecchino we love her in this household !! )

[ You were always someone who wasn’t fond of physical attention. Fleeting touches and kisses to the cheeks were never your forte, yet what should happen if the lover you’ve had for years is suddenly on the receiving end of such affections? ]

"physical affection... ah- it's okay if you can't show that to me, there's plenty of other ways to tell that you love me!"

CHILDE was the one to say those words to you, and the held the most certain truth. You were his lover, and a hug or two couldn't sway the fact! While the harbinger is quite the puppy and often yearns for your warmth, he'll respect your boundaries and allow you whatever. A lover like Childe places your happiness as a priority over his, wanting more to see your eyes sparkle than his own.

"Love, you wouldn't believe what happened in the courthouse today." You glance up from your spot where you're curled up on the couch, snuggled into a fluffy blanket and holding a warm drink in your hands, one of Inazuma's light novels sitting on the armrest. You hear the door to the two of you's home shut and lock, and listen to... Childe's footsteps. How strange, is he stumbling?

Glancing up, you internally gape at the cuts on his body, your eyes instantly drawn at the red splattered across his features. "'Taglia, what hap-"

He lets out a dry chuckle, grinning sheepishly as he rids his shoes at the door. "No worries, the blood isn't mine. Most of it, at least. I managed to get out of there in time, so all's well, yeah?"

As if that'd provide you any comfort. You narrow your eyes, glaring at him unyieldingly, until Childe has no choice but to force out another tasteless chuckle. "Come on now, I'm home, so let's do something fun instead of just being mad at me, 'kay?"

"Tartaglia."

The man flinches, his deep ocean eyes rounding. When you call him that and not his nickname, he knew that he had landed himself in deep shit. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry." He says that, but the sentence rounds up in a change of his tone, sounding almost suspiciously like a question. "It won't happen aga-"

The world itself seems to stop.

Your head is buried into his chest, arms wrapped around his waist. Archons, can you hear how fast his heart is beating? You've made him into a complete and utter mess. He's blushing, his ears practically on fire, and any thoughts once in his brain have been seared away in single second. It takes him to the count of three to remember how to breathe once more, his chest erratically heaving up and down as his shaking arms wrap around you hesitantly, wondering if it'd be okay to do so.

"...Love?"

"Mhm?"

"I- I thought you-"

"If it's with you, I'm okay."

Oh, how those words tug at his heart. You look so perfect in his arms - yes, you looked simply perfect all the time, he'd admit in a split-second. The messy nest of hair atop your head when you woke up in the early mornings, the dark bags under your eyes when you didn't sleep until late at night, your smile, your laugh, even your scowl. It silenced any effort to not fall in love with you.

A smile tugs at his lips. A bright one, a warm one, if that was even possible. Perhaps his eyes are shining with tears, or perhaps it was merely a trick of light, but he holds you all the closer, not wanting to let you go.

"Love, I... Archons, I don't think I'd be able to love anyone but you." ₊˚ෆ

"..great. i don't want your filthy hands on me anyways, so there shouldn't be a problem, hm?"

WANDERER's words were just that, would it kill him to be a little nicer? It didn't matter... you knew your lover well, or at least well enough to tell that what he said wasn't the complete truth.

Sure, you had seen him shrug off and make expressions of disgust directed towards particularly touchy people that he'd become somewhat acquainted with. And you most certainly had witnessed his frustrated outbursts and rants when he returned home to your shared abode, whining and grumbling about any trivial error someone had made - that is, brushing fingers with him while passing him papers. Something that couldn't exactly be avoided, yet he had glared at the wall for a good amount all the same.

Ah, but then there were moments when he thought you weren't looking, and that was when his eyes would drink you in. Grazing over your eyes, to your lips, then to your hands, where'd they linger on your fingers for perhaps longer than they should.

And you'd catch the times where you were inclined to say something flirtatious - words that were never all that flirtatious in the first place, Wanderer just happened to be unusually susceptible. Chin resting on your hand, eyes staring into his, you'd say something about how pretty he was, and then he'd just about go into neurogenic shock, likely not speaking to you the rest of the day, the tips of his ears, if one squinted to a certain extent, pink.

"Love." You glance up at him, a slight pout fixed on your lips. He'd been immersed in minor tasks, and those pesky things were what stole his attention away from you. An ironic twist of fate, as you were usually the one to be drowning in work, and he'd be the one practically begging for affection.

He hums, yet doesn't even bother to look at you.

"Do you want to go for a walk?"

"No."

"Go get something to eat?"

"No."

"Visit the... House of Daena?"

"No."

"Shall we feed the finches?"

A slight pause. "...No."

"Then... let's hold hands?"

He froze at your words, and it seemed that the male lost the function of inhaling, for he sat there unmoving for what seemed like hours, his expression petrified in its form of his large eyes, raised eyebrows, and mouth slightly ajar.

"...Excuse me?" It seemed that he doubted his own ears, for he set his work aside and fixed his focus upon you, fingers trembling just the slightest.

"Hmph, have you suddenly forgotten how to think?" You frowned, yet your eyes curved into crescents all the same, and Wanderer felt his breath hitch at how ethereal you were. The sly fox you were, you took his moment of shock, settling by his side and intertwining your fingers with his. "Like this, is it not?" You were smiling now, and for the first time you glimpsed the red on his ears, but now on his face too, a rosy red descending upon his cheeks.

"What's..." Perhaps you were right. His vocabulary had suddenly dwindled, and now he had nothing but questions - that, and the growing warmth in his chest. "What do you think you're doing right now?"

Whatever attempt he had to sound "mean" had failed. You knew him too well for that. "Holding hands, what else? Your hands are cold you know-" And at that he flinched. "But it feels nice."

D...Did it really?

"You, no... love, let's stay like this. You're... warm." ₊˚ෆ

"when you sought me, i thought it'd be a serious matter. there's no trouble in it, truly, so there's no need to look so dejected."

ARLECCHINO hadn't even batted an eye. Was there a reason to? Yes, this certainly crossed off any thought of romantic couple things like kissing and hand holding, but it wasn't like she'd gasp dramatically and fall to the ground, blaming you for setting boundaries-

As if she'd ever. Your imagination was running wild today, perhaps it was the lack of sleep finally catching up to you? It was a stark contrast compared to Arlecchino, who went days without rest, shuffling through paper after paper on her desk and constantly relaying messages to her subordinates. She was a hard worker - a trait most easily overlooked, but it was a point of adoration for you. A point among many. Arlecchino was an easy person to love, despite the bristling thorns she'd show at first glance.

"Darling, a cup of tea, please?" Her gaze flicked up from her work to you, a thin smile decorating her lips. It was more a less a habit the two of you established - that is, pouring her tea. Her favorite cup was the one you had gifted her when you first started your relationship, shaded in a dark hue and embellished with roses, their blooms, petals, and thorny branches spreading across the expanse of porcelain. You placed said cup on her desk with a breath of satisfaction, tilting you head in questioning at the unusual amount of papers on her desk.

"Arle, did something happen?"

She merely chuckled to herself, her eyes shining with delight. "Ah, why don't you wager a guess?" You were her "subordinate" of sorts, although your true association was far more intimate. You knew of her plans with Fontaine, and helped carry them out. She revered your loyalty, but your warmth far more.

"...Has the hydro gnosis been secured?"

She snapped her fingers in one swift motion, her small smile widening into a true one that played across her ruby lips. "Correct, I'd expect nothing less of someone as capable as my lover."

"Then, Lyney, Lynette, and Freminet..."

"They've done well." It'd be hard to forsake the note of pride in her voice. Setting down the sheets in her gloved hands, she stood from her seat slowly, letting her eyes scan over your body. "You've asked your question, now shall I ask mine? Darling, I did quite well myself, did I not?"

Her expectant gaze read one thing, but instead of the usual quality time spending the two of you'd share, this time, you had rather differing plans. Smiling, you walked up to her, not letting the way her eyes sparkled just the slightest escape your sight. Promptly, sneakily, you flung yourself upon her, beaming as your hands found refuge winding about her torso, nearly instantly trapping her into your death hug. "You did, Arle~!"

"..." At her silence, you glanced up, only to be met with a sight that drew blush upon your own cheeks. Her usually composed, mystery-shroud features were now conflicted with crossing emotions... of what, however, was rather indecipherable. Arlecchino was a person of many masks, yet now it seemed that her "mask" displayed but one thing - love.

"Darling, I... you look perfect in my arms, so shall we stay like this a moment longer?" ₊˚ෆ

"is that so? a trivial matter, is it by law that i must hold you in my arms in order to prove my love for you?"

FURINA's multicolored irises and teardrop pupils twinkled, their shine dancing on the moonlit breeze. A hand daintily held a teacup, its fragrant contents swirling about the porcelain basin. Her laugh accompanied the cool evening wind, and she fluttered her eyes shut in a smile that brightened her expression. "Come now, why so shocked? Wouldn't this be expected from someone as benevolent as I?"

It was a scene that would remain forever painted in your mind, like a beautiful mural that one's eyes could not possibly forsake. The way her mouth tugged upwards and the manner in which her eyes curv-

"Hey, are you even listening to me right now?" A familiar voice tugged you out of your reminiscence of the confrontation months prior. Furina displayed a childish frown on her lips, her partly furrowed eyes sharpening her gaze into a rather particular one.

Oh, lost in thought once more. You let out a soft sigh, nodding sheepishly. "Yes, love, I am.."

"Mhm..." Your words left a no, you clearly aren't!" Furina sat up, her intensifying discontentment apparent on her features. "I said I got you access to front ticket seats to the hottest new court case! You know, the one involving the robbery... the one that's quite literally got the entire Steambird in a chokehold? Yet, you're not excited in the slightest!?" She sounded offended, and she likely was, for her cheeks were flushed the slightest in rash frustration and her narrowed eyes creased at their corners. "Appreciate my efforts, why don't you?"

"Appreciate" indeed.

Ah, but was a sudden, tight embrace overshooting it? For she tensed in your arms, her frame absolutely suspended in your hold, her slack jaw giving the slightest tremor. "Mon amour, just w-what are you-?"

"Come now, Furina, am I not permitted to hug my own lover now?" The jesting in your voice faded as the sarcastic grin on your face formed a smaller, more genuine one. "I'm... ah, I'm okay, if it's with you. I'll be okay."

She paused at your words, contemplation of them flashing in her gaze, and let out a gratified exhale. "Then..." she nearly melted in your embrace, leaning her head into your arms compliantly.

"Don't you dare think I've forgotten about your previous transgression, but... ah, it can be forgiven, can't it, mon amour?" ₊˚ෆ

(a/n) hc hc hc hc furina calls youfrench petnames because french oui oui baguette.. AHEM my sincerest apologies to any french or french speakers...

REBLOGS APPRECIATED!! please consider following me as i amm soosososoo close to a follower goal ive been wanting to reach and itd be crazy if i could reach it before christmas!!!

໒꒱ || ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ (open! send an ask or a comment ♡) : @manager-of-the-pudding-bank, @iamdedinside, @ilyuu, @achlysis, @swivy123, @scara-is-my-wife, @lupicalbestwolf, @justyoureader

-> teehee what if yall left a message on my christmas tree 😶😶😶

[thebenjiblackwoodexpress]

Devil's Snare part.4

Aemond Targaryen x reader Description: Aemond has won the love of his handmaiden, but he worries that her shyness is stopping her from feeling truly comfortable expressing her affections. When Y/N receives unwanted advances from another Lord, Aemond proves just far he'll go to protect his lady.

Previous Part Part 5

Writer's note: I cannot express enough how much all your lovely comments mean to me. I still feel quite new to writing fanfic so it's amazing to know people actually want to read what I write. There's a brief mention of sexual assault in this so please don't read if this is triggering or upsetting to you in any way.

Warnings: female reader, brief mention of sexual harassment and attempted assault, protective (aka violent) Aemond, incredibly fluffy, lengthy as always, I have an obsession with Ewan Mitchell's hands; I'm being so brave about it but I will make it everyone's problem.

Aemond gently grazed his knuckles up and down Y/N's ribcage absentmindedly as he read to her, her body pressed into his side. She had appeared nervous when he'd first suggested it, a week having passed since then, but she never seemed so relaxed in his company as she did now listening to him read of ancient Targaryen dragon riders. He had been so happy, so relieved, when his shy girl had reciprocated his love. But he had not accounted for her shyness around him persisting even now that she knew he loved her. She was always tentative about expressing her feelings, and rarely initiated any physical contact with him. He had been concerned at first that she had reconsidered her feelings, a worry exacerbated by her reticence to inform anyone else of their betrothal. He thought back to the moment she'd agreed to marry him, how he'd immediately wanted to take her to see his mother and declare his intentions. It had been Y/N who had stopped him, frantically grabbing onto his arm and pulling him back to her, immediately putting him on alert.

Crouching back down in front of the chaise where she sat, his gaze had softened as he saw her eyes widened in alarm, hand still gripping his sleeve tightly. He spoke in as calm a tone as he could muster as he tried to ignore his own disquiet. "What is it my love?" Y/N smiled at him, but he noted that it did not reach her eyes.

"You might find me rather silly." Aemond brushed his knuckles lightly over her cheekbone in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. "I assure you I will not."

"It is only that I cannot help my more reserved nature. I feel comfortable with you not to judge me for it, but not others. And I know there will be whispers about your choice of a handmaiden to wife."

Aemond's good eye narrowed slightly. "I will have the tongue of anyone who bismirches you."

Y/N had lightly shaken her head at his suggestion. "I do not wish you to. Just allow me some time to get used to the idea that you love me first. I wish for it to be only us for now."

Aemond took hold of both her hands, saddened by her choice of words though desiring to be understanding of her wishes. But he would be firm on one matter.

"I do love you."

Aemond tried to oust these thoughts from his mind, comforting himself that Y/N did not shy from his touch at least, rather she always leaned into it. Though, it would always have to be him who took her hand, pulled her in for an embrace, or brushed his lips against hers. And he had begun to worry she did not think she could touch him. That their difference in status, her naturally timid disposition or, gods forbid, fear of him or his reaction prevented her from doing so. He wanted her to know she did not have to ask for his permission or wait for him to initiate, although he was more than happy to do so. He wanted her to understand that he adored her and would gladly welcome any and every affectation she would permit him.

Y/N seemed to be the most comfortable when he read to her and sometimes she would even rest her head on his shoulder, her breathing slowing so much he thought she might have fallen asleep. It made his heart soar every time for her to feel such trust in him to do so and he would always wrap an arm around her shoulder to pull her closer,  tilting his head down to lean it against hers, in the hopes he could encourage her and assure her that he appreciated and greatly desired her affection. Removing his hand from her to turn the page, he noticed that her eyes followed his movements. From their first meetings, when he'd observed her watching him weave a coin through his fingers, her gaze had always gravitated towards his hands. It had pleased him to know that she found him attractive despite his scar, though for him she was the most beautiful girl in the world. Dropping a hand down from the book he was holding, he took hold of his lady's hand, which was resting in her lap, and interlocked their fingers, a smile forming at the light dusting of pink on her cheeks at his action. He only wished she'd feel more comfortable to take his hand herself should she want to.

Y/N felt her cheeks heat as Aemond took hold of her hand in her lap, sure he must have spotted her staring. She thought every part of Aemond beautiful, but she had a particular fascination with his hands from the beginning. At first she'd just thought them elegant for someone who looked so fierce, whose sword was almost an extension of his hand. Looking down at their intertwined hands she marvelled at how large his looked over hers. There was a time when this might have frightened her. Now, along with his ever present gaze that always seemed to follow her, the warmth of his hand encasing hers just felt safe, protective. She struggled to initiate any physical affection with Aemond, still not fully able to comprehend his regard for her. So she was ever grateful for his patience with her, always taking the lead. But Y/N knew it would be unfair for her to always rely on him in this way, and she worried that he'd begin to think she did not love him in equal measure.

Resolving to at least try to set aside her nervousness for him, she separated their hands in favour of taking his in both of hers. Out of the corner of her eye she could see a look of confusion cross Aemond's face until she began to lightly trace her fingers across his knuckles, making her way slowly down his hand, tracing veins and drawing patterns along his skin. She heard his sharp intake of breath at her actions and willed herself not to be self-conscious or alarmed by this, slowly turning his hand over to trace patterns along the lines of his palm. Aemond seemed only too happy to relinquish his hand to her, awkwardly turning the page with one hand in favour of withdrawing the one she held. She continued her ministrations and Aemond continued to read without comment, perhaps not wanting to draw attention to her affectionate gesture in case it should embarass her. Y/N smiled at the thought, keenly aware of how gentle and caring Aemond always was with her. While she found it difficult to be confident in showing affection, Y/N determined to find small ways to express her love for him.

Aemond was pleasantly surprised to see Y/N grow in confidence each day, his gentle encouragement helping to make her more sure of herself. She'd begun by simply taking his hand of her own accord. Yet this small attention still served to drive him almost to complete distraction as he tried to focus on reading the words before him rather than the soft touch of her fingertips against his skin. It was not long before Y/N was comfortable to take Aemond's hands whenever she wished, assured he would only grasp hers tighter in response. Thereafter, she would reach up on tiptoe to sweetly kiss him on the corner of his mouth as she saw him off to the training yard each morning. She had looked away from him sheepishly the first time she had done so, but quickly lost her embarassment as he eagerly pulled her in to kiss her himself.

The Prince came to realise that Y/N would always retain her shy disposition, but his heart was gladdened to find that this was not a reflection of any wariness towards him any longer.  Throughout Aemond's life, he had lacked the unconditional love he'd longed for, ignored by his father, relentlessly teased by his brother and bastard nephews. The loss of his eye had only served to distance others from him further, and it was only the strength of his bond with Vhagar and the kindness of his gentle sister Helaena that prevented him from succumbing to his overwhelming feelings of loneliness. He could not understand how Y/N, who seemed to be made of pure light, could be drawn to him in spite of the darkness that festered within his heart. But he was everyday grateful she had chosen to love him and he admired her bravery to push through her trepidation and show him as much. This only emboldened him all the more in his own expressions of his love for her.

Y/N was lost in thought as she passed along the halls of the Red Keep. She often found herself so, thinking of Aemond when she was not with him and pondering on her own apprehension to marry the man she loved. She knew that Aemond would have married her the instant she'd agreed to be his wife. He'd told her as much. Yet she could not fully suppress her fears over the judgements of others, the potential opposition they would face for such an unorthodox match. Though, day by day she found herself growing less concerned by these possibilities, moved by the extent of Aemond's love for her and patience to wait until she was ready. With her mind thus preoccupied, she was thoroughly startled when a hand encircled her wrist and tugged her into a sequestered passageway, letting out an audible shriek. The momentum caused her to fall forward into whoever had accosted her. Arms wrapped around her, hands splaying out to cover her waist...Aemond's hands, she realised as she looked up to see him grinning at her playfully.

Before she could scold him for scaring her, he crashed his lips against hers. Y/N's hands flew up to grip Aemond's shoulders as he slowly shifted them backwards until she felt the cool stone of the Keep's walls pressing against her back. Aemond brought a hand up to rest against her cheek, tilting her head up to his to deepen the kiss. Y/N broke away from him a few moments later, shoving lightly against his chest, out of breath. She was sure she didn't strike a particularly intimidating figure, panting for breath, her hair mussed and cheeks surely ablaze. But she tried to fix the Prince with a stern look nonetheless, lightly swatting at his chest. "Aemond, you scared me half to death."

Aemond only smiled wider and grabbed her hand before she could retract it, placing a gentle kiss upon her knuckles before lowering his head to brush his lips against her jaw, his breath tickling her skin as he spoke. "Are you very angry, my love?"  Y/N found herself unable to reply at all as he slowly planted kisses along her jaw, her cheek and finally her forehead. He paused briefly to hum at her questioningly, having received no response. When Y/N only gripped his tunic to pull him closer, he recaptured her lips with his. She reached up with her free hand to entangle her fingers in his hair, feeling him smile against her lips as she did so.

It was Aemond who pulled away then, resting his forehead against hers. "I earnestly apologise for scaring you my love. I missed you and it could not be helped." Y/N ran her fingers through the lengths of his soft white hair.  "You are forgiven." Aemond smiled at her and went to kiss her again but she quickly turned her face from him, laughing at his boyish eagerness. "Aemond, I have my duties to attend to and I am certain you have your own. You are Prince Aemond Targaryen of the Seven Kingdoms, you cannot spend all your time with me."

Her tone was jesting but she laid a particular emphasis on his title. She did not wish to distract him from his duties as a Prince of the realm.  Aemond shot her a smile so dazzling she felt her heart stutter, before tilting his head down to meet her eyes and speaking so softly it was almost a whisper. "I am your Aemond." Y/N gulped, her hand subconsciously tightening its hold on Aemond's tunic. Seemingly pleased with himself at having once again left her speechless, he pulled back. "But if you insist, I will accede to your wishes and withdraw." Y/N shook herself from the dazed state she too oft found herself in around the Prince, taking embarrassingly deep breaths to calm the uneven fluttering of her heart.

But she grew suspicious when Aemond remained planted to the spot, a strangely knowing smirk upon his features. "Aemond, I promise to see you later. But we must go our separate ways for now." Aemond's eyebrows glinted mischievously, in complete contrast to the seriousness of her tone.  "In order to do that you would have to let me go, little one." Y/N's eyes widened with alarm as she looked down to find herself still clutching onto Aemond's tunic, abruptly releasing her hold. Aemond laughed before affectionately tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "It is alright my darling, I did not wish to let you go either." The rogue did not wait for her response before turning to walk briskly away from her and out of the passageway.

Y/N's heart leapt in her chest as she watched an ornate vase emblazoned with the Targaryen House sigil shatter on the stone floor of Aemond's chambers. She'd knocked it off a side table by accident whilst she'd been making her survey of the room for the evening, and as she cleared up the mess she was racked with nerves at the prospect of telling Aemond, not knowing if the vase was valuable to him in anyway and if he would be angry with her for her carelessness. In her guilt she took him by surprise as he returned to his chambers for the night, all but barrelling into him, wrapping her arms around his torso and hiding her face in his chest.

Aemond had immediately brought his own arms up to wrap around her and return her embrace, letting out a pleased laugh at her display of affection. "While it gladdens my heart that you are happy to see me, might I ask what fortuitous circumstance has prompted you to throw yourself at me?" He spoke low and teasing close to her ear. When his lovely handmaiden only tightened her grip on him in response to his jest he grew truly concerned.

Pulling back from her slightly so he could see her face, he was startled by her penitent expression. "Has something happened?"

Y/N looked up at him regretfully.

"Promise you won't be angry."

Aemond's face had fallen at her request. While he had kept his promise to never again raise his voice to her after he'd first done so and frightened her, the memory still pained him.

"I give you my word."

Y/N nodded, taking a deep breath before rushing out "I broke the vase on your side table. It was done accidentally and I am sorry for it."

Aemond nearly laughed again with relief that it was such a small thing that concerned his lady, but did not wish her to think he was being cruel or laughing at her. He bent his torso slightly so he could look into her eyes. "Is that all? You can change anything to your liking or break it if you will, these will be your chambers too one day when you are my wife. I do not wish you to worry yourself about such an inconsequential matter."

Y/N was grateful that Aemond had not been angry, indeed he was not in the slightest bit perturbed at her clumsiness. But his allusions to their marriage and shared life together had her cheeks turning red with embarassment and she quickly returned her head to his chest to hide the fact. She'd felt his chuckle resound in his chest as he gently extricated her from him oncemore to hold her face. "Do not hide from me, my love. I will not rush you. We will marry when you are ready."

Y/N rushed from Helaena's room, brushing aggressively at the tears blurring her vision. She'd hoped to visit the Princess and return a book she'd borrowed, having grown to see her as a friend. But she was surprised to find her chambers empty save for Martin Reyne, one of Prince Aegon's retinue of friends. His lecherous smirk upon spotting her sent shivers down her spine, as she watched him mentally undress her.

"No need to leave on my account, I was just looking for Prince Aegon. Alas, he is not here."

Y/N bristled at his presumption to skulk about the Princess Helaena's chambers, only shooting him a furtive look before she turned to leave, not wishing to remain in his presence alone any longer. But he quickly closed the distance between them, grabbing her arm forcibly and pulling her further into the Princess's chambers. No sooner had his hands began to wander than the door was flung open by Ser Erryk Cargyll, who'd angrily shoved the Lord away from her. She had only just been able to whisper her thanks to the knight before falling apart and fleeing from the room. Y/N could hardly breathe through her attempts to stifle her sobs as she stumbled down the halls of the Keep, hoping she could avoid running into anyone. She needed to be find somewhere to calm herself and found herself headed in the direction of Aemond's chambers, where she felt safest, before she had even consciously made the decision to do so. He was never in his chambers at this time of the day so she did not expect to see him standing by his desk, back turned to her. She let out a startled gasp at which Aemond instantly turned to face her. Falling against the nearest wall for support, she placed a hand on her chest in an attempt to calm her frantic breathing and stop the flow of her tears, aware that both were causing her to feel faint and unsteady on her feet.

At the sight of her distress, Aemond ran to her side, lightly taking hold of her elbows to keep her steady as he looked over her rapidly for any signs of injury. Y/N couldn't speak, she could only fall against him and sob into his chest as his hands flew up to hold her against him. One hand stroking her hair, he tried to whisper words of comfort to her and hush her cries for long enough to ascertain the cause. "It is alright, you are safe. Can you tell me what happened?" When her breathing only became more erratic, Aemond swept her up into his arms, her own instantly finding purchase around his neck, and carried her over to his favoured arm chair before setting her on his lap.

In any other circumstance he would have been deliriously happy to be able to hold her this close, to have her nuzzle into his neck as she did now. But he had never seen her so upset, not even on the one occasion when they'd argued, and he felt his own heart race and dread seep into his very bones at what could have prompted such a response from his lady.

It was a long time before Y/N felt able to tell Aemond what had happened and she could not bring herself to meet his gaze as she did so. Aemond had to tilt his head to hear her voice muffled against his shoulder, stiffening and feeling rage rise up in him at every word. He did not interrupt her, only speaking once he was certain she had finished. Kissing the crown of her head, Aemond tried to contain his anger so as not to frighten her further, promising to himself that he would deal with the bastard who'd dared touch her later. But for now he knew Y/N needed him more. "No one will ever harm you again."

A short while later, Aemond stormed into the throne room, where Ser Erryk had informed him Aegon and his lickspittle friends would be. He heard their laughter before he saw them, and that only served to fuel his rage further. It did not take him long to pick out the object of his ire. Aegon had turned upon hearing his heavy tread "Ah, brother."

Ignoring his brother entirely, Aemond headed straight for his friend, his voice booming across the hall. "Reyne!" The Lord in question looked thoroughly alarmed at being addressed in such a manner by the one-eyed Prince, taking a cautious step back, his own voice wavering. "My Prince?"

Aemond roughly grabbed hold of the Lord's front. "Did you think your actions would go unpunished you craven bastard?"

Reyne's eyes widened with alarm as he took note of the dangerous glint in the Prince's eye and his venomous tone. "My Prince, I do not recall committing an infraction against you."

Aemond shoved Reyne against a nearby pillar, hearing a satisfying smack as the Lord's head resounded off it. Aegon swiftly stepped in to aid his friend.  "Come now brother, what is the meaning of this?"

"He assaulted my handmaiden in our sister's chambers" Aemond all but growled through gritted teeth. Realisation dawned on Reyne's face and Aemond narrowed his eyes, feeling the blood of the dragon heat within him as a light-hearted grin broke across the bastard's face. "All this over a girl? It was only a bit of fun, she didn't need to go getting upset over it." Aegon saw the danger before his foolish friend and made a grab for his brother, but Aemond was stronger and quicker, merely shoving his brother aside before punching Reyne in the face with enough force to break his nose. As blood began gushing from the Lord's nose and he unceremoniously fell to the ground clutching at his face in pain, Aemond grabbed him by the back of his neck, roughly dragging him from the hall. He dragged him all the way to the front entrance of the Keep before throwing him atop the stairwell, leaning down into the Lord's face, his voice low and dangerous. "If I catch you within the walls of The Red Keep again I will fucking kill you."

When Aemond returned to his chambers dusk had fallen and Y/N had yet to move from where he'd left her, curled up in his favoured chair. Seeing her look so fragile, her arms wrapped about herself, he wished he'd killed the blaggard after all and resolved to comfort her as best he could. Her head snapped up at the sound of his footsteps and she jumped up to greet him, her eyes gravitating towards his still bloody knuckles. He quickly moved to assuage the concern forming in her eyes. "The blood is not mine. Mostly. He will not touch you again." Y/N took his hand to place a tender kiss upon his grazed knuckles. "I am grateful, Aemond. Though I would not have you hurt yourself in defence of me."

Aemond was moved by the sweetness of  his beloved's temperament and her concern for his wellbeing. But he wanted her to see him as her protector, for he always would be. He levelled a charming smile at her. "Do you really think me so fragile and weak?"

Y/N's eyes widened. "Of course not Aemond, I did not mean that."

With the hopes of amusing her, and thereby distracting her from her current troubles, he feigned offence. Pulling away from her he paced to the other side of the room and sighed exaggeratedly. "Alas, my lady does not think me fit to protect her. I do not know that I can stand the shame."

"Aemond, I know you are powerful and perfectly capable of defending me. You are a formidable swordsman. That is not..." Y/N started to apologise but stopped mid sentence as she looked suspiciously at the upturn of his lips, realising he was just teasing her. "Aemond that isn't funny", she tried to look stern but struggled to repress her own smile at his antics. Aemond quirked an eyebrow up at her. "So my lady thinks me powerful, does she? Formidable even?"

Y/N blushed at her own words thrown back at her, stuttering out her response. "You know what I meant, Aemond. Don't be arrogant."

Aemond's smile broadened in response and he slowly began stalking back towards her. He had a playful gleam in his eye that had Y/N stepping backwards in response and moving around his desk, unsure of what game he was playing. "What are you doing, Aemond?"

Aemond halted on the other side of his desk. "It would appear I have to assure my lady of my capability to defend her."

Y/N's confusion at his words lasted only a moment before he darted around the desk, reaching for her, and she turned to run from him. It wasn't long before she found herself giggling as he chased her about the room. She knew he was only pretending, purposefully allowing her to escape his hold each time his fingers grazed her waist, but that only made her laugh harder. She'd not known Aemond had such a playful side to him.

Wishing to hold his lady, Aemond decided to end their game, pleased to have made Y/N laugh and to have distracted her for the moment. He caught up to her and swept her back into his arms, her back flush against his chest as he spun her about, picking up speed in accordance with her laughter. Placing her gently back down he cupped her face between his hands and looked at her seriously, wanting her to know he was in earnest now.

"I will always protect you, defend you with my life if I have to. You are my love and will be my wife one day, whenever you give the word."

Y/N smiled up at him with gratitude and love in her eyes. "Aemond, I think I am ready to be your wife now."

Aemond could not contain his joy at her words, feeling a weight lift from his chest. He had been willing to be patient for her, but each day Y/N continued to feel unsure of their marriage, of him, the deep seated insecurity that had haunted him since childhood had grown stronger.

"Truly, my love?"

"Truly." That was all he needed to hear before he captured her lips in a passionate kiss.

You were expecting Aemond fanfiction and instead you got an ode to Ewan Mitchell's hands. Whoops 🤭

@jjkysnk

@ieieibhibu8

@skymoonandstardust

@truly-abysmal

@idonotknowenglish

@leonesimp

@hyacinthesiss

@nanawaffles

@callsigncrushx

@bitchyfestivalbouquet

@void21

@sapphiresandferrari

@pinkykats-place

@superintenseart

@youknownothingjohnwatson

@iportes-22

@misspinkonmars

[mommywandas]

Go to Sleep — W.M

——

Pairing: Mommy!Wanda x Fem!Reader

Warnings: bad relationship with mother, mommy!wanda, implied drugging, lactation kink, pet names.

A/N: My first Wanda fic, pls be nice :,)

——

To say your relationship with your mother was rocky would have been an understatement. Most nights were full of screaming matches, mainly on her behalf but occasionally you lost your cool, unable to hold back.

"Just get out of my sight!" Your mother yelled, pointing to the front door of your shared home. You were old enough to get your own place, but you had been struggling to hold down jobs that earned proper money, consequently forcing you to stay living with your mom. Oh how you wished things were different.

"I'll sleep somewhere else tonight but I'm coming back tomorrow to take my things. I'm done here." Sadness and anger seeped through your words. This had happened enough times now, you having to sleep at a friend's house. But this was your last straw. You couldn't spend another night under this roof.

"Fine." Your mother looked away, seemingly unable to bear the sight of you. Taking a deep breath, you ran upstairs, grabbing the essentials, toiletries, a change of clothes and phone charger. Without saying another word to the other woman, you left the house, backpack slung over your shoulder. It was a cold night, causing you to shiver, wishing you'd brought a coat, but you weren't going back now. Your shaky hands reached for your phone, unlocking it and pulling up your friend's contact. At the same time, you saw it was almost one in the morning. Did you really want to disturb him? And besides, none of your friends were particularly close to you, not by your choice. It was like every friend you made, they just didn't like you enough. And you didn't know why.

As you scrolled through your contacts, desperately trying to find someone who would probably be awake, you caught sight of the woman who was very close with your mom.

Wanda Maximoff.

She had told you to call night or day, knowing the issues at home. And now seemed like the perfect time to utilize that offer. So you hesitantly pressed the call button. She picked up on the forth ring.

"(Y/N)?" A sleepy voice sounded through the phone, and you could picture her rubbing her eyes from tiredness.

"Hi.. uh.." Unexpectedly, tears started to form in your eyes, voice wavering. You heard a ruffle of sheets, she had sat up, her voice now turning into concern.

"Are you okay?"

You nodded, then remembered she couldn't see you, so you mumbled, "Yeah.. uhm.. I just don't know where to go."

"Where are you? I'll come and pick you up." You could hear another ruffle, presumably Wanda getting ready to leave, but you quickly stopped her.

"No, no, I can walk to yours, I'm not far." You were already waking her up, intruding on her night, the least you could do was walk a couple of blocks. After her initial protests, she finally gave in. So you slipped your phone into the bag and started the journey. Walking alone at night always scared you, but it didn't take long before you were knocking on a door. The door swung open immediately, and you were met with a very worried Wanda.

"(Y/N), I've been so worried since you called." She wrapped her arms around you, and you could smell her floral scent. You'd always loved her. In fact, you'd spent most of your teenage years crushing on her secretly. Like any teenager, to be honest. You hugged her back, sniffling quietly.

"I—I'm sorry, I just didn't know where else to go, and everyone's asleep and you said to call whenever I wanted, and my mom hates me and—"

You were cut off by Wands pressing a finger to your lips. "Sweetheart, don't worry. Come in, you must be freezing." Her soft tone melted you to the core, and you couldn't help but follow her inside, shivering at the warmth. You weren't quite aware of what she was doing, because you were lost in your self destructive thoughts, but a few minutes later she was standing in front of you with a hot mug of cocoa. More tears prickled in your eyes, because not even your mother had shown you this type of kindness. You held the mug in your hands, warming up. Her thumb reached out and wiped your stray tears.

"It must have been a big fight, huh?"

You nodded, looking down at the smooth chocolate. "Yeah.. she told me to 'get out of her sight'. But I don't know—" You trailed off, a strain in your voice. "I don't know where I'm going to go. I have nowhere. None of my friends like me enough to let me sleep on their couch until I get my bearings."

She sighed softly, her empathy radiating off her. "You can stay with me, honey, as long as you like." Her voice was gentle, exactly what you needed, a stark contrast to the voice that had just been shouting at you.

"You mean that?" Your eyes lit up, feeling warm inside.

She chuckled, tucking some of your hair behind your ear. "Of course, sweetheart. I have a spare room already set up."

The relief spread through your body— you had a place to stay! Someone who actually wanted you!

"Thank you so much, thank you." Your thanks came gushing out, before she guided your hand on the mug up to your lips.

"Drink, darling."

You sipped, and the chocolate was sweet, slightly too sweet? You didn't give that any mind though, just drinking the warm liquid. "Mhm, this is good."

"Anything for you, sweet girl."

You suddenly felt very sleepy, eyes beginning to close. You hadn't been this tired before, right? "Sleepy.." You mumbled, body feeling heavy.

"That's okay, baby, let's get you to bed."

She took the mostly finished mug out of your hands, washing it up in an instant before slipping an arm around your waist and guiding you up the stairs. If you had been more aware, you would have noticed more of your surroundings. The pretty decor, the cosy feel of the house, but you weren't in any state to admire any of that.

"Poor thing.." She murmured, and led you into a bedroom. You collapsed on the bed, yawning softly as you curled up. You could smell the sheets, just the same as Wanda's scent. You smiled to yourself before realising you must be in her bed. You woke up a little more.

"I thought I was going in your spare room?"

She smiled knowingly, laying down beside you, pyjamas already on from before. "It's okay, baby, mommy wants you here." She whispered, pulling the sheets over your clothed body. "Don't worry about anything."

You tried to think straight, to wonder why she had called herself 'mommy', though you found that you didn't care at all. Your mouth felt dry all of a sudden, and you licked your lips, seeking out something you didn't know you wanted.

"Do you want to nurse on me, baby?" Wanda's voice was floating around you, through the clouds of sleepiness. You didn't want to ask what that meant because before you knew it, she was guiding your head towards her chest, where she had pulled down her night shirt to reveal her breast.

"Suckle, sweetheart, I know you want it."

You nodded mindlessly, your lips latching onto her nipple, sucking gently and humming when you felt the sweet taste of milk. Could life get any more perfect than this, you wondered.

"That's it honey, go to sleep. Mommy will be right with you."

——

[powerpuffobsession]

The whole Eden Lucifer-Adam-Lilith-Eve situation is kinda creepy. I see serious groomer undertones in it, given the difference in Lucifer's and humans' life experience (and to extent, maturity) at the moment

Imagine that you are an adult experienced angel who is present during the making of Eden and the birth of first humans. You also apparently want a wife. And to be a part in creation of Eden. What do you do? Find some female angel to marry and live your life with? Find an actually helpful way of working alongside elder angels?

Nope, instead you meddle with the lives of newborn and inexperienced humans in the most destructive way possible.

You could have helped them sort out their disagreements and actually taught them proper ways to behave. But you don't. You groom the naive female human into trusting you and then you encourage her cheating on the male human, causing trauma and insecurities to corrupt his personality in his first few years of living (the most influential in shaping a person's mentality). Thus you become partly responsible for the vengeful monster he will become in the future

More than that, you take away the female human's chance to live safely in paradise or on earth. Because of aiding you in your not-so-well-thought-out-plan (she didnt have any other choice, you and the male human were the only company she had), she is doomed to be allowed to only live in hell the rest of her life. And you knew that no one in heaven was going to give her the benefit of the doubt

As icing on the cake, you don't stop just on grooming and encouraging cheating, you don't leave the male human alone after you've already did him dirty and abandoned him... you come back and corrupt his new wife for some unclear reason (because your "whimsical" ideas of how you'd do a project elder angels know better how to carry out, are never even elaborated upon).

As a result, you doom not only these three babies in adult bodies but also the entire humanity to a terrifying life of fighting sinful outbursts, suffering, surviving, dying and risking ending up in hell where they'll be suffering for an eternity

I'm not sure if writers will ever hold Lucifer accountable for all this in a proper way. Probably not. But thinking about how much he fucked over first three humans makes me wish more depression on him

At this point, Lilith leaving Lucifer is not surprising. Imagine if after maturing and gaining life experience (and already giving birth to Charlie) she realized how her husband was practically using her. That could be why she left after doing her job of raising Charlie until she became an adult that can survive on her own

(I mean, it could be true if hazbin hotel was good at having the characters live through consequences of their actions and not just making Adam a scapegoat who is supposedly like Stella v 2.0 - evil ever since he was born and already inventing patriarchy with his very first breath. Like, all humans are selfish jerks when they are newborn - that's what parenting is for, shaping something more pleasant out of all that selfishness) (notice how the writing only focuses on how Adam was "bad" back in Eden)

(That also gives me a reason to judge angels in general - just a few narrative details really show how little they cared about the first humans' wellbeing and future. It's their fault too that Lilith ended up in hell and had to make some sort of deal to get a chance to visit her home/ Adam became an immature mentally unstable murderer/ and Eve... dunno, we haven't seen her yet)

[rockscanfly]

Random Charles Smith Headcanon's

Has probably contemplated suicide at more than one point (see “I’m here just to hurt and suffer myself. In this land I feel stuck.”)

Maybe a little vain. He cares for his clothing well, embellishes himself. 

Has auditory sensitivity. He gets very irritable with loud people.

Has never felt like he belonged, always feels cut off

Is comfortable with violence only against folk he sees as on his own level/like himself. Has little empathy for himself so has little empathy for them (hence smoking while Arthur beats a man for information, the efficient and quick kills of the bounty hunter, the poachers)

Has a STRONG sense of justice--that includes responsibility and culpability. People make choices and Charles holds them accountable for them. Sadie is a killer, so he treats her like any other ally. That German family didn’t make that choice, neither did the Wapiti. But he doesn’t have any pity for the gang.

Animals don't choose violence, hence the protectiveness over them and their dignity. 

Comes off as cold because he isn’t loud/not good at chat. He’s really just been alone most of his life. 

Okay with drinking, does NOT like drunkenness. Back to culpability. This can make him unforgiving and harsh at times.

Both he and Arthur are so used to people passing in and out of their lives that they’re afraid to hold on too tight. Then Arthur gets captured by Colm. Hosea talks to him, about Bessie and about Arthur’s dead family. 

“I’m not her,” Charles says. “Not either of them. I’m not asking you to leave your world behind, and I’m not going to wait for you in some house. We’re partners first. I’d lose the rest of it before I let you put me to the side.” 

He likes that Arthur is big enough to push him around, to hold him down and anchor him when he can feel himself getting lost. To toss him over a broad shoulder when they’re swimming around on a hunting trip and settle him down on soft pelts, to pin him and bite the lonely from his skin. 

Charles can kick Arthur’s ass and will do so on request

He’s kind and thoughtful. He’d be the one to make Arthur little presents and leave them around for him. Practical things, made special with the careful workmanship of beading/embroidery/etching. 

Can be impatient—autonomy is his norm so waiting on others both physically, mentally, and emotionally doesn’t come natural to him

Will cut slingload on people he feels don’t value him back—would not pine for Arthur or stick around if Arthur tries to protect himself by lashing out at Charles, even if he still has feelings. His father taught him that he has to protect himself because no one else will do it. Arthur. Well. Arthur’s the only person he’s trusted to have his back. Because Arthur proved it, several times over. There’s no one Charles would have used “do it for me” on other than Arthur Morgan. 

He fell into fighting again because he had begun opening his heart for the first time since he was a child, and then fate took Arthur too. Like Charles said—he was put on the earth to cause pain and to suffer himself. 

He tries to help folks, but he’s not good at talking and he can’t use his privilege to help like Arthur did. He’s everything the US government hates, even more than the Waipiti. They reach a point where his violence is no longer useful. And for a drowning, grieving, heart sick stretch of years violence is all Charles has left to him (hence going to Saint Denis, a city he hates, and fighting people for white folks' entertainment in a transparent suicide-by-cop bid for someone to end his suffering) And then Sadie gives him the option of closure and working beside John reminds him that he is a man, not a weapon, and Beecher’s Hope makes him believe he too can change. 

Charles has never tried to be anything but who he is. He and Arthur are similar in that way. What he realizes, what Arthur realized too late, is that he can change if he wants it. And that maybe he’s allowed his past pain and scars to run his life along a course he doesn’t actually have to follow. 

Brought to you by my on-going replay of RDR2 and my undying love and devotion to princess of my heart Charles Smith.

[sheerfreesia007]

Tease Me

Pairing: Jeongin x Reader

Word count: 3,918

Content warnings: Fluff

Summary: You and Jeongin have been childhood friends who grew up together both having a need and desire to prove yourself to your families. What happens when Jeongin’s flirting becomes a bit too much for your growing feelings for him?

Paperwork littered your desk as you huffed softly while staring down at one of the reports from the management team. It hadn’t been your week and you were looking forward to the end of the day already and it was only eleven in the afternoon. Between having to halt a whole production line for one the company’s newest products to having to fire a leak in your public relations team you were ready to call it a day.

The phone on your desk beeped causing your tired eyes to dart over to it to see that the light next to your father’s extension was lit up and blinking. You sighed softly wondering what he could be calling you about as your hand reached over and snatched the phone from the cradle. You took in a soft breath hoping that it wouldn’t be another problem for you to have to deal with.

”Yes, sir.” You answered trying to keep the exhaustion out of your tone. You knew that if your father got any wind about the issues you were having with your section of the business he’d be all over it and taking over which was the last thing you wanted. You had worked hard for the past seven years of your adult life in the family business and felt you had finally gotten your foot holding in your position, you didn’t want your father to ever think that you couldn’t handle it. You took great pride in your work and if he ever thought for a second that you couldn’t do it it’d crush you.

”Darling, do you have time to go out to lunch with me and a visitor?” Came your father’s soft excited tone echoing over the line. You frowned softly knowing that he had you on speakerphone and whoever was his “visitor” was no doubt in the room leaving you with little choice but to accept his lunch invitation.

”Of course. Can you give me just ten minutes to finish up? I can meet you wherever you want to go to lunch.” You respond softly knowing that this lunch would most likely set you back a few hours of work but knew that there was no other option for you right now.

”Actually why don't I send my visitor to keep you company? That way I know it’ll only be ten minutes of work before you leave.” Your father says amusedly and you sigh softly while rolling your eyes at him. He knew you too well and knew that if he didn’t send someone to be accountable of you it would probably completely slip your mind to go to lunch.

”Send them over then.” You say before hanging up the phone. You only spare a brief moment of thought to who it was that your father was so excited to go out to lunch with before turning back to the report.

*-*-*-*

You probably should’ve asked who the visitor was you thought as you lifted your head from your desk at the soft knocking on your office door. Your eyes widened slightly as you spotted the tall man standing behind your blushing assistant. His grin was wide on his face and his eyes were nearly closed with happiness as he stared at you. Yang Jeongin, a long time family friend that you had grown up with over the years stood there practically vibrating with happiness and excitement to see you.

From his position behind your assistant you can see he’s dressed in a simple black suit with a pressed white button up shirt, his normal attire whenever he comes to visit your family’s company. Jeongin had made a name for himself after his older brother had taken over the role of owner at his family’s business and had started his own company as a consultation agency for anything business related. Your family had used him and his knowledge for most of their business decisions. In fact because you related so much with the man you had used him almost exclusively for all of your major business decisions, always wanting his opinion because you valued it so much.

The two of you had always been close even if you were closer in age to older brother, there was just a connection between the two of you and your age gap though small had never been a problem for him. In fact he seemed to love that you were older than him, if all the flirting he had done since you were both teenagers was anything to go by. Yang Jeongin had always been a flirt when it came to interacting with you, it was a great distraction for you whenever you were so lost in the business. You had never taken him seriously whenever he flirted with you since he had been doing it since puberty, you always imagined you were practice for him since you were the closest woman he had in his life. And you were fine with that really, only a few times had he tripped you up and made you actually believe his lines. But you were quick to brush them off even if you were flustered. It hadn’t really become a problem for you until one night at his parent’s 50th anniversary party he had laid the flirting on thick and had your head and heart in a dizzying dance with your reasoning. That night something had changed for you and while you wouldn’t pay much mind to his flirting after that night it still confused you and made your heart flutter wildly in your chest.

”Miss, Mr. Yang is here to see you for lunch.” Your assistant says softly as she slides to the side to allow Jeongin room to step into the office which he does with a brief nod of his head at her before focusing back on you. His eyes eagerly take you in as he grins even wider, his top front teeth peek out and bite down slightly at his plush bottom lip and you smirk at him while shaking your head, he was already starting and it made your heart sing inside your chest.

”Thank you.” You respond to her before you step around your desk and meet Jeongin in the middle of your office as she walks out and closes the door behind her. You smile fondly up at him before stepping into his open arms and hug him tightly, your body flinches slightly at the feel of his hard stomach and chest against your body. When did he develop that? You look up at him when you feel his arms tighten around your body and pull you flush against him. The look he’s giving you isn’t entirely seductive but it’s damn well close enough as your heart thuds in your chest and your breath stutters in your lungs.

”Hi Noona. You get more beautiful every time I see you. Soon it’s gonna be too much for my poor heart.” He breathes out softly and you chuckle at him wondering if he knew what he was doing to your poor heart.

”Hi Innie. It’s been awhile huh?” You ask him teasingly as you use your childhood nickname for him and watch as his neck flushes slightly before he smirks down at you, just being able to get that reaction out of him has you beaming proudly up at him. He’s grown taller still and you’re reminded how much taller he is than you even when you’re wearing heels, the image of him hovering over you makes your core fill with warmth and pleasure much to your embarrassment. Normally he wouldn’t affect you this much but you had to admit that with the drastic change to his physique and the confusing change from that night had your head spinning.

You move to step away from him to go back to your desk and your work but he keeps you firmly in place pressed against him as he dips his head and nuzzles into your neck. You flinch at his movement as his nose brushes against your skin and you make a noise of complaint that has him chuckling but it’s all for show since you don’t want him to know how much he affects you. You doubt his true intentions of flirting with you and you’re trying your best to keep your footing in this confusing relationship.

”C’mon Noona, I haven’t seen you in months and you immediately want to get out of my hug?” He whines to you and you huff loudly before wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders trying to tamp down the pleasure that flares within you at the feeling of his body under your fingers. This was the norm for him, even with the flirting whenever the two of you would go without seeing each other for a long time the hugs would be extra long to make up for missing each other.

”Fine, fine. So whiny.” You grumble out and he chuckles loudly at your teasing as he settles his arms low around your waist where his hands hang from your body at the lowest part of your back. You can feel his fingers ghosting against the bottom part of your dress’ zipper and you scowl softly at him while he looks at you with a shy grin.

”You look beautiful Noona. Tired but beautiful.” He says knowingly and you smile softly as he picks his head to stare down into your face.

”I’m in charge of my own section of the company now Innie, of course I’m tired. You should know all about being in charge, you’ve got your own company to run.” You tell him proudly and tease him. He beams happily at you as he squeezes his arms around your waist, your brain short circuits for a second at the feel of his muscles flexing against your body and take in a quiet breath that has him smirking down at you.

”I’m always in charge, gorgeous.” He teases and it has you shaking your head at him while he smirks still. You huff softly at his proud confident attitude and he chuckles once more before nuzzling his nose into your neck again. “You know, you’re the only woman who’s withstood all my flirting. No matter how much I try I can never get you to cave to me.” He laments softly and you shake your head at him

”Because I know you don’t mean it Innie.” You respond knowingly as you try to hide your disappointment and he frowns softly down at you without you seeing his look.

”What makes you think that?” He asks suddenly, sounding serious. You look up at him and blink a few times, thrown off by the question before you smile softly and shake your head.

”Innie, you’ve been flirting with me since we became teenagers. There’s no way that you mean it. I’ve just been practice for you growing up and it’s just become the norm now.” You dismiss softly while still smiling at him, his eyebrows are furrowed slightly and you reach up to run your fingertips over the skin between them easing the crease there. “Now come on, let me finish up my work so we can go to lunch.” You remind him and he nods his head while slowly releasing you from his hold.

You walk over to your desk where the report is waiting for you while Jeongin moves to sit in one of the chairs sat in front of your desk. He rested his elbows on the arms of the chair and clasped his hands together while resting his mouth against his hands. You smiled softly at him before nodding and turning to the report once more, you were eager to get this work done so that you could enjoy your time with him. It had been too long since you last saw him, almost five months.

”So tell me what have you been up to since I last saw you?” You asked him fondly as you peered over the report once more, you leaned over your desk with your pen held in your hand as you began to make corrections to it.

”Just been busy with the company, we managed to land a huge consulting contract with Bahng Corporation.” He said, sounding bored and your head snapped up to stare at him with wide eyes, that was an impressive accomplishment.

”Innie! That’s amazing!” You said proudly of him and he smiled softly at your praise.

”It’s just another contract for work.” He said with a shrug of his shoulders.

”Just another contract, you’re too cool about this Innie. That’s so impressive, how are you not yelling it from the rooftops?” You asked incredulously and he grinned at you causing you to scoff at him. “Let me guess, you already did it from your family’s company rooftop?”

”You know me too well Noona.” He said with a smirk. “Wish you knew my body just as well.” He teased and you chuckled while shaking your head.

”Speaking of which, when did you start working out? I felt those muscles during our hug, and I’m pretty sure my assistant already caught a look.” You teased him and he smirked dangerously as he leaned forward on his knees now staring at you with a heated look in his eyes.

”You liked feeling them pressed up against you Noona?” He asked in a sultry tone that made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up as you watched him like a cornered animal. Your body flushed with the memory of feeling his hard muscular stomach against your own and the feeling of his toned arms wrapping around you had your head fogging up with desire.

”I-I didn’t say that.” You answered shyly as you felt your face flush with warmth. Jeongin smirked as one of his eyebrows raised as his eyes tracked your fidgeting movement from behind your desk.

”You didn’t have to say it out rightly. I know I’m hot now Noona, you can admit it. I won’t tell anyone.” He teased and you blushed even hotter as your head suddenly dipped back down to the report. You quickly finished the corrections before slipping it into the inter office mail folder and stood straight behind your desk. Jeongin was still watching you with that predatory look on his face that made you self aware and slightly nervous at his attention, but you huffed at him before straightening your spine and grabbing your textured gray clutch. 

“C’mon let’s get going, Dad’s probably waiting on us.” You said to him not bothering to see if he would follow you as you made your way to your office door. You grabbed your coat from the coat rack and moved to slip it on but Jeongin was there already gripping the coat and slipping it over your arms and settling it onto your shoulder with gentle hands. He gripped your shoulders suddenly and tugged you back into his broad muscled chest before wrapping his arms low around your stomach and nuzzled his face into your neck just breathing you in for a moment.

”I missed you Noona.” He said softly and you smiled softly at his affection before resting your head back on his chest.

”I missed you too, Innie. If you don’t have plans, do you want to spend the rest of the day together? I don’t have anything else pressing today and could do with getting out of here early.” You suggested fondly to him and flinched slightly when you felt his grin against your neck.

”I would love to.” He responded warmly before releasing you from his hold. He then stepped around you and opened the door for you, making you smile warmly up at him.

”Always the gentleman.” You teased him and he grinned at you while leaning down towards you.

”Only for you Noona. Only for you.” He flirted and you beamed up at him playing into it slightly before tapping his cute nose. The two of you then walked out of the office to head to lunch with your dad.

*-*-*-*

Your laughter mixed with Jeongin’s later that evening as the two of you sat on your sofa reminiscing about your adventures as kids while the tv played a drama in the background. The two of you had enjoyed spending lunch together with your dad who you both had teased and taunted about everything. Your dad had given up halfway through lunch laughing that he couldn’t handle being ganged up on anymore before he paid for your lunch and told you he’d see you for Sunday brunch at the house.

After that you and Jeongin had spent the rest of the day walking around town just enjoying each other’s company. You had forgotten how easy it was to relax around Jeongin and just be yourself instead of having to always prove yourself to him. It was refreshing to say the least and made your time with him that much more precious to you.

Looking over at him you smiled warmly at the man before taking a sip of the wine you had opened for the two of you, Jeongin was leaning back in his seat on the couch his shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and the top two buttons were undone giving you a glimpse of his light gray tank top he wore underneath. You could no longer deny your attraction to Jeongin as the alcohol flowed freely through your veins and you soon found yourself staring at him with hungry eyes that danced up and down his now leaner muscular physique.

”Yah, what trash.” Jeongin spits out in a slightly annoyed tone as he gestures towards the television causing you to immediately swing your eyes to the screen. You face flushes with embarrassment and desire for the man next to you as you try to focus on the drama playing.

”What’s trash?” You ask confused as you watch two people kiss on the screen.

”It never works out that way in real life.” He states irritated and you frown at his words before turning to face him.

”Are you having issues in the love department, Innie?” You ask, chuckling softly at his predicament.

”Only with the one that matters.” He gripes out and you blink rapidly at his serious words.

”I didn’t know you were serious about someone.” You say softly and frown concerned as you realize that you might be taking his time away from said woman.

”Noona I’ve only been serious about one woman my entire life and she’s too blind to see it.” He states and you look over at him as worry now plagues your mind.

”Then why are you here with me?!” You ask him as your worry rings through your words. He turns his head to see your wide worried eyes staring at him bewildered and he smiles softly at you.

”Are you worried for me Noona?” He asks teasingly as he smirks at you with that dangerous look on his face once more and you shake your head quickly as you watch him set his wine glass down on your coffee table before he begins to crawl across the couch to you. You stare at him with even wider eyes as he takes your wine glass from you before gripping your ankle and tugging you down to lay on the couch underneath him.

”Innie if you’re having issues with a woman you shouldn’t be here.” You say still concerned for your best friend. Your hands come up to his chest and you mean to push him away but when your fingers graze his chest he shivers over you while his eyes heat with desire swirling in them.

”And what if that woman is you Noona?” He asks softly as his hand comes to gently graze one of his fingers down your face. You gasp softly at his touch and your fingers clench around the material of his button up shirt.

”What?” You asked dazedly and your eyes try to focus on him as your thoughts swirl from the idea that he means you. “Me?” You ask still bewildered and Jeongin chuckles softly before dipping his head to bury it in your neck.

”Yes you, Noona. I’ve been in love with you since we were kids. But you’ve never seen me that way.” He laments to you and you scoff at him.

”Lies.” You retort and he picks his head up to rest his chin against your sternum as he stares up at you from beneath his pretty lashes. Your hand comes up to cup his face and you smile bravely at him, the wine has loosened your tongue slightly and lowered your inhibitions enough for you to feel brave enough to confess. “I’ve had these confusing feelings for you since a few years ago, but I was never able to tell if you were just flirting with me because you’ve always done it or if you were truly trying to flirt with me.” You confess quietly to him and Jeongin’s eyes widen at your confession.

”Since when?” He asks insistently suddenly and you furrow your eyebrows at his stern tone. “Since when?” He asks again and you pout your lips slightly not wanting to confess to him how long you’ve felt this way about him, but with the way he’s looking at you there’s no choice for you other than to tell him.

”The night of your parent’s 50th anniversary.” You answer and Jeongin beams up at you.

”That’s because that was the night I made a promise to myself that I’d finally get you to realize that I was being serious about you.” He said softly with a wild look in his eyes. “Noona, I am serious about you. I have been for a long while. If you gave me a chance I can show you how serious I am about you. How in love with you I am, how much good I can be for you.” He says seriously and you stare at him with wide loving eyes as your body begins to melt at his sweet words.

”You’re in love with me?” You ask softly and he rolls his eyes at you teasingly.

”Since I turned thirteen.” He confesses and you gasp softly at him as he smirks at you. You reach up and grab ahold of his face before pulling him down to you as your lips press against his lovingly. He moans loudly against your mouth as he sinks into the kiss with you before he pulls away with a shake of his head. “Not like this.” He gasps out as his forehead touches your own. “We’ve been drinking and I want you completely sober for this. I want you to remember exactly how I break you apart and then put you back together.” He husks out to you causing your mouth to fall open with desire.

”Innie.” You whine softly at him and he chuckles darkly.

”You’d like that huh, Noona?” He asks sultrily and you hum softly before biting your lip. “Give me one chance.” He pleads with you.

”Yes.” You gasp out and he beams down at you.

”Then let’s get you to bed. I have a feeling we’re going to be awfully busy this weekend together.” He teases hungrily and you eagerly nod your head at his instruction before he pulls you up from the couch.

SKZ Taglist: @intartaruginha

[shadowqueenjude]

The most disturbing things portrayed in ACOTAR

Victim-blaming: Lucien tries to help Feyre and gets physically abused by Tamlin as a result. Feyre then proceeds to call him a dog despite Lucien doing everything he could in a difficult situation. And we're supposed to...support Feyre on this? And Rhysand throws around words like "can never forgive" man stfu you prick.

Sexual Assault: The most disturbing thing is not that Rhysand sexually assaulted Feyre. It's that he's never held accountable for this and never even apologizes at ANY point in the series. There are so many examples but this is the one that is the most disturbing.

Double Standards: We have Tamlin locking Feyre up for her own good being vilified, yet Rhysand is championed for locking Lucien and Nesta up in houses for their own good. Huh? WTF.

War Crimes: What Feyre did to the Spring Court, manipulating the sentries with the whole Ianthe thing and basically getting them killed, then weakening the Spring Court rulership which resulted in all those villagers in the Spring Court getting killed, then laying the Summer Court bare to Hybern as well, are nothing short of war crimes. And...instead of feeling regret, we have the main characters saying "Hybern's actions are their own." Like bitch what? Hybern wouldn't have been able to do shit if it wasn't for you! Have some damn accountability! And the fact that Tamlin and Tarquin are vilified for this never ceases to irk me.

Grooming: Rhysand groomed Feyre. He made excuses for everything he did with trauma, then sent Feyre out to do tasks for him like she's some kind of weapon he can use. WITHOUT giving her proper information, there is no choice. And everything he does is constantly explained away, until eventually Feyre becomes his trophy wife. Rhysand basically assigns Cassian to do the same for Nesta. I'm holding out hope that Elain will be saved from the Night Court.

The pregnancy debacle: the whole thing with the baby having wings and Rhysand withholding information from Feyre is just...disturbing. Idc if you're not telling her FoR hEr OwN gOoD, it is HER life at stake and she deserves to know. They didn't even try to shapeshift her to try and save her life? Like why is everybody seemingly more concerned about the baby than the mother? Disgusting. And why is Nesta vilified for being the only one to tell Feyre? She said it to hurt her, blah blah blah. She also wanted to show Feyre that their situations are similar. That they're BOTH being shit on by the Night Court. And when she's close to a breaking point...Nesta is forced to hike a mountain? That is physical abuse. Also, Rhysand being extremely territorial putting a shield over her and barely letting Feyre go anywhere is beyond weird.

Suicide baiting: What Rhysand did to Tamlin in ACOFAS is nothing short of suicide baiting. And...only Lucien seems to really be that concerned about it? Like...are you telling me I'm supposed to be supporting Rhysand after he basically told a depressed male to kill himself?

Segregation: Separating the Hewn City from Velaris IS segregation, no matter what excuse you try to come up with. You can't claim they're all shitty people, since your bestie Mor comes from the CoN. So, there are good people stuck in the CoN unable to get out of their torment because Rhysand decided that only certain individuals are allowed in Velaris.

Performance Feminism: Establishing laws to help women and not doing shit to enforce them is performance feminism. If he's as powerful as he says, he can 100% stop wing-cutting and r*pe. But, he's a goddamn virtue signaler so he doesn't fucking care. The thing is, SJM could've handled these topics in a much better way and it would've been fine. But she completely fucked shit up here and it's crazy that some people don't see it. Part of me is still waiting for the final book where she says, psych rhysand was the villain the whole time. If so, I'll take everything back.

[neptuneiris]

could you pretend to be in love? (03/10)

The Complicity

pairing: modern!aemond × fem!reader (fake dating)

summary: the time has finally come and you together with Aemond pretend the relationship taking into account the aspects of the previous contract.

word count: 7.1k

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God, I had so much fun writing this and absolutely loved it. hope you enjoy it too, I loved it and will look forward to your opinions. there is still much more to come, so look forward for it🤭

thank you for reading and enjoy!❤

It takes no time at all to see Aemond's car pull up in front of your house.

Pursing your lips and you already feel the nerves tensing your body. You adjust the strap of your backpack on your shoulder and say goodbye to your father, then leave your house and head towards the car.

Aemond has already rolled down the passenger seat window and keeps a small grin on his lips as he watches you, but you deliberately ignore him and especially that grin on his face.

But what you don't ignore is his car. It's too modern and expensive, exactly what you would expect from him. Besides it's his style, black and extremely clean. And when you get in and settle into the seat, the interior smells like him, rich, masculine and nice.

"Hey," you say to him, as you close the door and fasten your seat belt.

"Hey," he returns your greeting, watching you intently, "How are you?"

You frown, slightly confused by his question.

"I'm good," you say nonchalantly, "You?"

"All good, yes," he nods, letting his hand rest on the steering wheel. Then he watches you carefully, now with some hesitation, "Are you ready?"

"Hmm... yeah, I guess," you reply, nervous and hesitant, trying to appear normal, as you absently place your backpack on your lap, "Just..." you watch him pleadingly, reminding him, "When you're going to do something, you know... in front of everyone, let me know."

He puts back his soft smile, starting the car.

"Yes, ma'am."

The car starts up, an awkward silence developing in the air, where at first you both look for something to say to break the silence, but eventually you become immersed in your own thoughts.

And you at all times try to control your nerves and prepare yourself more mentally for everything that is coming today... and also for the next almost five months.

The music on the radio eases that slight tension between the two of you but when you least expect it, Aemond arrives and parks in the school parking lot, which is flooding with students.

"Thanks for the ride," you say, unbuckling your belt and he gives you a soft look.

"It's nothing, don't worry," he replies calmly.

You exhale deeply, peering through the windows of his car at the students outside, immersed in their groups of friends or their own worlds. But you know that soon enough all the attention will fall on you and him, so you continue to fight it, the nerves.

"So..." you return your gaze to him, attentive, "What exactly are we going to do now?"

"We just have to walk to the building together," he points to you as if it's the simplest thing in the world, which it is, but now you're both a 'couple', "We'll hold hands, I can walk you to your locker, we'll play a little, and then we'll head to our classes. Nothing more."

As simple as it sounds in his words, the prospect of performing as a couple in public makes you feel a mixture of nerves and anxiety. But you don't really have a choice so you just nod and go back to watching everyone out there one last time.

When you suddenly feel his warm hand place on top of yours, an unexpected gesture that surprises you and makes you focus on him again.

"Hey, I'm with you, okay?" he says softly, "You're not alone. And I promise you that everything will be fine, nothing bad is going to happen," he assures you, "You just need to relax, let yourself go and follow my lead. That way it will be easier, I assure you."

He tells you as his gaze conveys a sense of trust and understanding, wanting to reassure you in the midst of your nerves, reassuring you that everything will be okay, supporting you.

And even though you still feel a little nervous, with the assurance he conveys in every thing he says and every gesture, you decide to trust his words, managing to comfort you just enough.

Then he gives you a few more seconds, understanding that you should feel completely calm and finally you put the strap of your backpack on your shoulder, deciding that you want to get started and also get this over with once and for all.

"Ready?" he asks you with his reassuring look.

You nod, taking a deep breath to calm your nerves.

"Yeah, I'm good."

He nods too and finally you both get out of the car. And as soon as the two of you step foot outside, a few glances land on you and Aemond.

You wait for him to circle the car and once at your side, without hesitation your fingers intertwine with his, where as you watch his face, you find that assurance he seeks to convey to you, assuring you that everything will be okay.

And together, you begin to walk towards the main school building.

Aemond's presence at your side offers you comfort as you see hoy everyone looks at you, looks of surprise and curiosity, all watching you both attentively.

And at the same time you see how among the same groups of boys and girls talk to each other, seeming to wonder about seeing the two of you together.

At this, as you advance, you swallow hard and try to control your nervous look and keep your composure, also the slight fear you feel inside you and your heart that beats strongly, aware that every step you take is closely followed by the looks of everyone.

And as you feel the slight squeeze Aemond gives your hand with his, he gives you that small comfort amidst all the stares and emotions that invade you and you internally thank him for his gesture.

So you decide to concentrate on the comforting touch of his hand intertwined with yours, reminding you that you are not alone and you follow his lead, remembering his words from the beginning.

He, in comparison to you, seems serene and confident in all of this.

And despite the discomfort you felt with him at first and wanting to run away from him, now his presence begins to be comforting and you feel that you will panic if he leaves your side now.

And with every step you both take, you seem to attract more stares, as if you are a magnet for attention. There seems to be no end to the amount of curious stares on both of you, and that feeling increases more as you both walk deeper into the bustling hallways of the school.

You just hear the constant buzz of conversations and the attention focused on both of you becomes even more apparent. But regardless, you follow Aemond's lead, letting him guide you through all this overwhelming attention.

Eventually you both reach your locker and he stays by your side, as you begin to grab the books you will need today and people continue to watch you.

"It's a good start," Aemond says next to you, leaning toward you just so you can hear him.

"Only if you like the attention," you mention.

"Please, it's not so bad either," he says and leans closer to you, where with delicate gesture he tucks a lock of your hair behind your ear, watching you intently, beginning to act on the plan.

His movement catches you a little off guard, but you play along. You lean your body towards him, trying to keep a relaxed face and put a discreet smile.

"The whole school is watching us."

"Exactly what we wanted or not?" he says to then drop a kiss on your forehead that also takes you by surprise but you continue to skillfully feign, "And you're doing great."

A real genuine smile settles on your lips and you continue to organize your backpack as Aemond takes one of your hands and begins to trace it with his fingertips, then absentmindedly and also discreetly observes around him.

It is true that everyone is watching you both, but what catches his attention is seeing his ex-girlfriend, Alys, in this same hallway with her group of friends also watching.

You can't read much of his gaze, as he focuses back on you, especially when you finally close your locker door and give him your full attention, as he places a small smile on his lips.

He pulls you into his body as he leans against the back lockers, hugging you and placing you between his legs, and you let him, as obviously everyone is watching you at that moment.

"I'm going to kiss you now, okay?"

He whispers into your face and you open your mouth to speak, instantly lifting your face up to him to watch him, but when you least expect it, he is already kissing you.

You stifle a slight gasp in the middle of the kiss, feeling one of Aemond's hands gently caress your cheek and the other he keeps it on your waist, pulling you closer to him in a gentle way, as he presses his lips against yours gently and carefully, almost adoringly.

His lips feel soft and warm, so you kiss him back as best you can, closing your eyes and letting your hands rest on his chest.

Thankfully there's no movement and it's just pressing lips against lips, but the kiss is prolonged, Aemond more than anything else wanting to make sure everyone sees.

And when you both pull apart, he keeps his smile and his hands on your body as you try to disguise the surprise and daze.

"I'll see you at break," he says, letting go of your body slowly.

"Sure," you nod and smile, aware that more people are watching.

"Everything will be fine and if anything happens, text me," he tells you softly before separating you from his body and you nod again, feeling grateful again.

He leaves one last kiss on your forehead before he walks away, giving you one last comforting look. You watch as he walks away down the hallway, heading to his first class, just as the bell rings throughout the school.

So now feeling all eyes on you, you too quickly head towards your first class too.

And from that moment on, everything explodes.

The only topic of conversation going around the school is how the hottest and most popular guy in the whole school, Aemond Targaryen, is dating you, a girl not entirely... known.

You also hear how he and Alys' breakup is briefly mentioned, they also talk about how she cheated on him and that's when you come in... you and this unexpected news of the two of you dating.

It's clear that no one was expecting it, so there are a lot of questions as well. And eventually, the questioning begins.

"Y/N?" asks Aegon, confused, watching his younger brother intently, "And who is Y/N? I've never heard of her."

"Aegon, that doesn't matter," interjects Helaena, watching him grimly.

"She's my girlfriend," Aemond declares with a firm tone as he puts away some books in his locker.

"What matters is why you never told us anything... until now that the whole school knows too," Helaena says, confused, "We didn't even know you were interested in anyone after—

"That crazy of Alys," Aegon interrupts, not even bothering to lower the tone of his voice, also looking at Aemond with confusion.

Aemond looks up from his locker, noting back the questioning looks from his brother and sister.

"The thing with Alys is over," he says nonchalantly, "We both ended badly, she got satisfaction from it, I moved on and now I met someone new, what's wrong with that?"

Helaena exchanges a glance with Aegon and crosses her arms over her chest.

"No Aem, there's nothing wrong with it," she clarifies to him in a soft tone, "But at least you could have told us before the whole school found out."

"Yeah," Aegon says beside her, supporting her in her words, "And you never mentioned her," he says still with his confused face and tone, "Why?"

Aemond exhales deeply, feeling the pressure of they stares and questions, trying to keep his face composed.

"I've known her for a while."

He begins to say, clearly lying but trying to hear himself sound as convincing as possible, understanding that he must later tell Y/N about this if they and anyone else ask her the same question.

"She's in almost all the same classes as me. We did some projects together, started talking, hanging out a few times and well... things happened really fast. Even I didn't expect it, neither did she and it just happened, you know?"

Aegon watches him curiously, while Helaena examines him with full attention.

"And mom knows?"

"No, she doesn't," he says instantly, attentive and alert, "And listen, please don't tell her anything yet."

"Why not?" Aegon says confused, "She is your girlfriend and she should know her, no?"

"Yes, but we've just started dating and I want to give her a little more time until she's ready," he says in a soft, almost pleading tone, watching them both carefully, "I don't want to rush things more than they've already been rushed, so please.... let me tell mom when I've talked to Y/N."

Both are silent for a few seconds, where again the two exchange glances, and then Aegon nods in his direction with a more disinterested and more typical Aegon look. And Helaena, after analyzing his words, nods as well.

"Fine but be sure to tell her soon. You know how mom is with this sort of thing and if you let too much time pass, she'll be upset with you."

"Yes, I will, I promise."

Again silence engulfs the three of them and after a few seconds, Aegon breaks the silence with a smile.

"Well, now I want to meet my little brother's new girlfriend."

"Me too," nods Helaena, "Even without knowing her I already like her better than the witch."

Aegon lets out a laugh and Aemond just rolls his eye with an amused look.

"I'll try to talk to her if I see her," Helaena adds.

Shit.

Aemond thinks instantly.

"Fine but don't ask her too many questions, don't harass her and I'll find out if you tell her about my embarrassing stories," he warns her, "Same goes for you," he points to Aegon as well.

"Easy," he tells him confused, raising his hands in surrender, "I just want to meet my sister-in-law."

"Yes but watch that mouth," he warns him once more, "I'll see you later."

He closes his locker, the three of them say goodbye and he heads off to his next class, leaving behind his siblings and the growing curiosity that hasn't stopped from the other students in the hallway.

Certainly the news of his new relationship spreads quickly throughout the school, creating a buzz of gossip among all the hallways, because when he met with his friends, they too question him about the unexpected news.

The same goes for you, that even though you have no friends, or at least not close ones, when you are in the library, someone unexpectedly question you about your... 'boyfriend'.

"So...

A voice begins to speak in your direction and you look up, meeting Alysanne Blackwood, a classmate just as introverted and quiet as you, sitting at the other end of the huge table you're sitting at.

"Who knew you liked rich, popular boys," she says with a small smile.

"Oh... hi Alysanne," you say, putting a small smile, discreetly ignoring her comment.

That doesn't stop her, however, as she rises from her seat and takes her place in front of you, completely commanding your attention with her energetic presence.

"The truth is, I never imagined seeing you with someone like Aemond, "she says, evidently trying to start a conversation on the subject, "I never even saw you two talking together before."

And there you start to feel the knot of nerves in your stomach as you try to find the right words to explain the unexpected situation.

"The truth is, it was all very... discreet and... unexpected," you say, starting to think fast to come up with something convincing.

"And I bet Alys freaked out," she say with an amused smile, "God, I would have paid to see her face. She obviously wouldn't expect to see her ex with you."

You cocked your head to the side, watching her with curiosity and some confusion.

"Don't get me wrong, it's obvious that you and I are similar but a different type of girls like Alys," she explains, "So of course she must have been furious."

"Oh, um... I really don't know," you reply with a shrug. "I didn't notice if she saw us when the whole school did."

"Oh believe me," she says without wiping off her smile, "She did see you and she's furious," she assures you, "And that's okay because she deserves it. I can't stand her and I can't stand her stupid group of pretty girls who don't have a single neuron in their brains."

Alysanne, with her playful smile, seems to enjoy the awkwardness you find yourself in, so she leans a little closer to you, as if sharing a secret.

"Anyway, how do you feel about it? With Aemond, I mean," she asks, changing the tone of the conversation.

"Oh, well... he's different, I guess," you admit, searching for the right words, "I didn't know him much before this, but he's kind, funny, and.... yeah, different."

God, this is harder than I thought.

Talking about Aemond in this way is not entirely untrue, as he is nice and a little funny, but only a little. But still, you don't really know him and you think that's what you both need, to get to know each other better.

And that way, maybe this won't cost you too much.

"Well, at least you're not hating it. Although, truth be told, I think it's refreshing to see you dating someone outside of your comfort zone. And I'm also saying this from my own experience, it's... rewarding."

You watch her more interested than before, a little surprised.

"You have a boyfriend now?"

"Nah, it's been a while since we broke up," he says with a disinterested gesture, "But that's what he left me with and I hope you enjoy it, just don't be afraid."

She tells you and that particularly gets your attention more.

"And by the way, if you need advice on how to deal with girls like Alys, you know where to find me," she adds with a soft laugh.

Despite the strange situation and the fact that your talking about your 'relationship', when it's not even real, her words make you feel something and you realize that the conversation with her has become more enjoyable.

And you also realize that maybe you are not so alone in this unexpected moment of your school life.

So classes go by normally, you don't really see Aemond much, except in the hallways and when lunchtime comes, you take a seat alone at one of the cafeteria tables and turn your back on all the piercing stares.

"Hey, babe."

You raise your gaze and Aemond has a radiant smile on his face, turning animatedly toward you.

You place your best smile towards him, especially since there are still many pairs of eyes watching you, especially the eyes of Alys and her entire group of friends, who haven't stopped watching you as if they were going to kill you with their gaze since you arrived.

Aemond leaves a soft kiss on your forehead and takes a seat next to you, creating a space of privacy between the two of you, making sure no one else hears what he will say.

"How have you been?" you ask him, popping a strawberry into your mouth.

"Great. Everything is going perfectly, everyone is believing us and I hear Alys is furious and dead jealous," he says, with his little smile, "I've played her same game and now she knows how it feels. And the next few weeks will only get even better."

"As long as you keep me out of it, it's fine," you decide to joke, focusing on your food.

And when he answers your silence, you look back at him and he's watching you with a seriousness that isn't quite true. You let out a small laugh and he taps his shoulder lightly with yours, smiling.

"What are you talking about?" he asks you playfully, "Of course you'll be in for it."

You both share a brief complicit chuckle and he takes a strawberry from your bowl and savors it with a satisfied expression, then gives you a playful look.

"I'm actually enjoying this more than I thought I would. We seem to have caused a little of a commotion here," he says, averting his gaze to the bustle of the cafeteria.

"A little commotion?" you repeat, incredulous, "I think more like a big commotion, Aemond."

"Oh, and also..." he begins to say, more serious and in a lower tone, leaning towards you, "Aegon and Hel have already asked me some questions," he says, catching your full attention, "So if they try to talk to you, just say that we met and started talking in class. Also, that everything between us happened very fast and we decided to be discreet, nothing more."

And even though it's nothing difficult or anything out of this world, you can't help but feel a little overwhelmed by the sudden complexity of the situation. You also can't help the nerves in you.

Being part of all these lies and still having to create more lies, that's what makes you uneasy and you feel that in the moment you will ruin everything. And Aemond seems to read your thoughts, noticing your slightly worried expression.

"I know that they can be a bit nosy, I know that and I'm sorry. But it would have been too risky to tell them the truth and—

"No, no, it's not that, Aemond," you interrupt him instantly, "I just feel nervous and a little... scared," you confess, "I feel like I'll ruin everything if your sister or brother talk to me, because of the nerves, but I'm sure I can handle it."

"Yes, of course," he nods, nonchalant and speaking to you in a soft tone, taking one of your hands to entwine with his, "Just... if they ask you something specific, wing it, but keep the story general. I know you'll be able to do it."

You nod in his direction, his soft, comforting gaze making you feel better and more capable of being able to handle this. When you remember an also very important point.

"And you asked them not to say anything to your family?"

"Oh yeah, that too, yeah," he nods, "Don't worry, it wasn't hard. So we're good with that."

"Good," you say relieved.

You don't let go of his hand and go back to focusing on your food, while he stands next to you and watches you silently, saying absolutely nothing, watching you with a soft, calm gaze and trying to transmit that love just by watching you.

And his gaze on you while you eat starts to make you feel uneasy, so you watch him and put on a small nervous smile, not understanding the way he is looking at you.

Actually you do know but just like him, you have to play.

"What?"

Aemond lifts both corners of his lips a little higher.

"Everyone is looking at us," he says expectantly, in a low, soft voice, glancing around for a second to refocus on you.

And you roll your eyes playfully.

"I told you not to abuse that."

"But you said at extremely necessary times and right now seems like an extremely necessary time to me... love."

And there it is again, those nicknames that make you feel weird and Aemond enjoys watching you shiver at those words, smiling playfully.

"And I think it's only fair that now you're the one kissing me."

"You know, I'm already regretting this."

"I'm waiting," he says expectantly, never taking his eyes off you attentively for a second.

And you roll your eyes again and then lean into him with no choice and leave a soft kiss on his lips, in front of everyone, which he reciprocates instantly, only increasing his smile even more when you pull away from him.

"Thank you, love."

"Please," you look at him pleadingly, "Stop saying that."

He lets out a small laugh.

"Whatever you say, love."

You stare at him for a second and then he goes back to stealing one of your strawberries.

"By the way, wouldn't you rather go to lunch with my friends?" he points to the table of his friends who also belong to the lacrosse team, "They've also asked me about us. And I think having lunch with them, will make it all more believable."

You let out a long breath.

"It doesn't have to be now," he hasten to say.

"No, no, it's fine," you assure him, "I think it will make the relationship more believable too."

"Okay, but we have to stay here, at least for this day," he says, enjoying all the attention and you don't fight it, "Oh, and before I forget this, I have a match on Friday."

Oh no.

So soon?

You can't help but think, watching him completely intently.

"Really?" you ask starting to feel nervous and you don't even know why.

"Yeah, obviously you have to go and support me, shout my name, some cheers and all that," he says visibly excited, "The whole school is attending, so Alys will be there too," he says quietly.

"You also want me to wear a T-shirt with your last name on it and carry signs with your name on it like in the movies?"

He lets out a laugh.

"I'd actually love to see that," he says more excited than before.

"Aemond, I-I really don't know how to act at that kind of thing. I don't even know if I'll do it right...and if it looks too forced?"

And then there he again takes advantage of everyone watching you to place his hand over yours.

"Listen, there's no right or wrong way to do it. Just be yourself. There are no exaggerated expectations and it's not about impressing anyone, least of all me. I just want you to be there and let's have a good time together. Also at the party."

"Wait, what?" you inquire, "There's going to be a party after the game?"

"Hmm," he nods, "At my friend's house, you know...for celebration when we win."

"And if you don't win?"

"Even so, the party will be held," he says with a shrug, "A way to lift our spirits and better prepare us for the next game."

Of course, typical.

"And if I don't go to the party?" you try to persuade him with a worried expression.

"Y/N," he tells you with a serious look, "Remember our contract?"

"You're seriously bringing that to this?" you reproach him.

"Yes because it's in the contract," he tells you with a playful look, making it clear that he won't let you get off that easy.

And you sigh with resignation.

"But I don't think—

"Come on, Y/N. It'll be fun," he tries to encourage you, "And if at any point you feel uncomfortable, I promise we'll leave. What do you say? Sounds good?"

And even with the discomfort through your body, you nod, since you know there's no way around it.

"Fine," you murmur.

Aemond nods with a small smile.

"I'm sure it'll be fun, you'll see."

The rest of the week is spent with the stares and whispers intensifying whenever you and Aemond are seen together in the hallways or anywhere in the school.

Even the stares are not discreet, boys and girls stop in their conversations to stare at you as you walk by and when you move on to your respective classes, the attention seems to follow you, also in the cafeteria, when you and Aemond enjoy your lunches together, everyone stares at you.

It becomes annoying and also overwhelming for you, as you not only deal with the stares of all the students, but you especially deal with the stares of Alys Rivers and that of all her friends.

They are like hawks looking to melt the back of your head with every death stare. You feel like you're the prey and you don't doubt that they must surely say horrible things about you.

But honestly, Aemond has somehow helped you endure it.

In the cafeteria you are not alone, as you follow his idea of sitting at the table with him and his friends, who turn out to be very nice and funny, so their occurrences make you feel more comfortable during the whole break and lunch, forgetting for a moment about the stares and whispers.

Also Aemond never takes his hands off you, wanting to hug you and hold your hand all the time, wanting to make the relationship look as genuine as possible, this also distracting you.

And in those moments you just realize how you really hate being the center of attention, especially since the school seems to be watching your every move.

And you and Aemond couldn't agree more on the huge commotion you both have caused.

When the weekend finally arrives just as quickly as the day the match will take place, where you immediately decide to ask Alysanne for help getting ready, since you don't have a clue how to do it and make it look good.

Your dad is still at work, so you and Alysanne in your room make as much noise as you want, while she picks out your makeup and you put on some black jeans and the dark blue with white team shirt you borrowed from Aemond with his last name and player number printed on it.

And Alysanne, in her friendly and honest spirit, is excited to help.

"It looks great on you," she comments as she watches you adjust your shirt so it's not baggy, "Although I honestly don't understand why people like to attend these types of games. It's too boring for me."

"Yeah, for me too, but nothing I wouldn't do for Aemond," you mention like the girlfriend in love you supposedly are with him.

"Now come here."

You take a seat and she stands up, instantly helping you place Aemond's initials with blue paint on each of your cheeks, AT, while you finish touching up the rest of your makeup and also your hairstyle.

And when you're both done, Alysanne has something else for you.

"Now you're missing this," she announces, taking from her backpack something.

And when she holds it out to you, you confusedly take a cheerleader pom-pom.

"And what's this for?"

"What do you mean, what for? To support your boyfriend, obviously," she says incredulously, "I have one too," she announces proudly, taking another from her backpack.

"And where did you get them?" you ask inspecting it in your hand.

"I stole them from a girl who's on the cheerleading squad. I don't like her so I said, why not?"

You look at her still confused for a few moments, especially after that statement, but you decide not to give the matter any more thought and focus on what really matters, which in fact is already too much for your head.

So ready, you observe yourself in the mirror.

"I look like an idiot," you say as you look at yourself, "I've never done this before."

Alysanne laughs softly.

"Oh, dear, that's because you're an idiot in love. And also because it's the things love makes you do."

But you're not really in love with Aemond and that makes this whole thing even harder.

And that not being enough, she teaches you some pom-pom waving moves and suggests some simple cheers to cheer on the team and Aemond more than anything else. And even though you shouldn't, you can't help yourself and take a good few minutes practicing all that.

And finally you both leave your house in the direction of the school.

You've never been to one of these games before either, so when you and Alysanne arrive, the lacrosse field is full of energy and excitement as you both find seats in the stands.

The truth is you know absolutely nothing about how lacrosse works, it was never something you were interested in but if Aemond is now your 'boyfriend', you know you'll have to pay attention.

So in the meantime you do what everyone else does, like clapping and... nothing else.

"Girl, what are you doing? You're supposed to be cheering for your boyfriend!"

Alysanne yells at you above all the other yelling, shaking her own cheerleading pom-pom with the moves she taught you earlier.

"I know but I feel... embarrassed," you confess, "I've never done this. Besides... they haven't stopped staring at me since I got here."

"Who?" she asks you confused and attentive.

You point discreetly behind you and Alys along with her group of friends are a few seats over from where you stand with Alysanne, who snorts in amusement.

"Please, do they really intimidate you?"

"No," you lie a little, shrugging, "I just don't like that they're looking at me like they're going to kill me at every turn."

When you arrived they all inspected you from head to toe with questioning, mocking and expectant looks, which ended up destroying your confidence.

But Alysanne nudges you lightly and snorts derisively.

"Ignore them. They are not important. What's important is over there," she points her index finger at the lacrosse field, pointing at Aemond, "You're here to support him, not worry about poisonous snakes. So let's start yelling and supporting your boyfriend with the cheers I taught you, got it?"

You let out a sigh and finally nod with a resigned gesture.

You force yourself to concentrate as much as you can on the match, you also tell yourself that you're here to support Aemond and not to deal with the stares from his ex-girlfriend and her whole group of friends.

As well as you push away the idea in your mind that you feel weird and uncomfortable with that if you shout Aemond's name, everyone will notice and see you.

And you immerse yourself along with Alysanne and everyone else at the game in the charged atmosphere of anticipation and the screams of the crowd mingling with the air.

The whistle blows, marking the start of the match and Aemond and his team are in action as well as the opposing team, all moving nimbly around the field.

The game is fast and dynamic, you don't understand but you watch as Aemond stands out on the field, showing his skill. He and his team perform coordinated movements, well-executed strategies and impressive resistance against the opposing team.

And without paying any more attention to Alys gaze, you immerse yourself in the atmosphere of the game, clap and cheer along with Alysanne.

She encourages you to shout his name and that's what you do. You follow Aemond's every move intently, cheering with enthusiasm, jumping in place along with Alysanne, waving the stolen pom-pom along with her and shouting with fervor.

You feel more of Alys and her friends' gaze behind you, but you ignore it completely and concentrate on the game.

And as the game progresses, Aemond begins to notice your animated efforts from a distance. You can't see his face because of his protective helmet but he smiles when he sees you jumping, waving the pom-pom and shouting his name.

Your choice to wear his shirt with his last name and number, his initials painted on your cheeks, and the cheerleader pom-pom, all don't go unnoticed by him. He's honestly flattered and grateful that you actually did it.

And you and Alysanne keep cheering, both of you fully immersing yourselves in the intense and competitive atmosphere.

You don't know how much time passes until finally the referee blows the whistle. And since you don't understand lacrosse at all and had to pretend you knew what was going on, you just know they've won.

Thunderous applause and cheers break out in the crowd, and Aemond and his teammates celebrate on the field.

Alysanne gives you a friendly nudge as you both make your way to the corner of the field where the players are standing. And Aemond, instantly looking for you among all the people, when he finds you, with an expression of triumph trots over to you.

His gaze sweeps over you from head to toe, his smile engulfing you, as he removes his helmet and you smile and clap in his direction.

"You've won!" you exclaim happily.

He doesn't take off his smile and hugs you tightly, to which you reciprocate, trying to get that 'love' in front of everyone like in the movies of the couple of a boy captain of the team and the cheerleader girl.

You're not a cheerleader with a stolen pom-pom in hand but it's something like that.

"You look amazing," he says in your ear.

You let out a nervous laugh, as you both pull apart and Aemond, subtly seeing that everyone is watching you, keeps his hand on your waist, leans in and leaves a soft kiss on your lips, sealing the victory.

Obviously you can't blame him since everyone is watching and you place your hand on his cheek, reciprocating his kiss as everyone around you continues to celebrate in the stands and on the lacrosse field.

Once you both separate, you just notice more how everyone is watching you and you can't help but be a little embarrassed by this, feeling too many stares on you which in comparison, Aemond doesn't mind at all.

He tells you he's going to go change and talk to his coach, you nod, he leaves a soft kiss on your forehead and trots off back to the field with his teammates and you're left alone.

You hug yourself and look around briefly, then walk over to Alysanne, feeling a little overwhelmed.

And God, maybe this is costing you more than you imagined.

"You were fantastic, everyone was looking at us," Aemond says excitedly, driving, "And your outfit just made it all the more believable."

"Yeah," you let out a small laugh, "Alys and her whole group of friends kept judging me. But this just further confirms to us the fact that this is working."

He lets out a sigh.

"Alys has always been like that, she always has to judge someone to feel superior. She even did it with me during the time we were dating too."

He says with a disinterested tone and you look at him slightly surprised, not expecting to hear that.

"But if she makes you more uncomfortable to the point that you can't even stand it anymore, please tell me," he tells you more seriously, "She'll be at the party too and I don't plan to leave you alone but I'm telling you... you know, so you won't be surprised."

"I'm sure I can handle it, but yeah, I'll tell you," you tell him softly, nodding.

"Good," he nods too, not taking his eye off the road.

Right now he's driving to his friend's house where the party will be. You invited Alysanne and offered her to come along with you and Aemond, but she told you she's not a fan of parties and in fact she's had enough of the game.

So she ordered an Uber and went home. And you don't blame her. As much as you would have loved for her to have come to help you survive the party, she already helped you a lot before and after the game.

"So you understood the game?"

He asks you, summing up the game conversation, with a smirk. And you let out a snort with a mocking, incredulous look.

"No," you confess, "I don't really know anything about sports. I just know that on that play of yours in the second half it was awesome because everyone was talking about it," you let him know.

He lets out a laugh.

"Don't worry, I'll teach you."

"I just know you were great. I don't know exactly what you were great at but you were great," you say sincerely, "And I was great too, as much as I hate it, but did you see my animated cheer?"

"Yeah, it was amazing," he says just as honestly as you, only more enthusiastic, "But there was something missing from your whole outfit."

You frown.

"What?"

"The sign with my name on it like in the movies," he says and you snort again, as he laughs, "I would have loved to see that."

"One step at a time, Captain. It was already too much for me to fulfill my role as a cheerleader girlfriend supporting her boyfriend."

"I really enjoyed it," he says, watching you for a moment with complicity.

"As long as there aren't any more games so soon, I think I can handle it."

"And what about the parties?" he teases you.

"Let's correct the contract, because I think I'm only going to accompany you to one party per month. So that will be five parties total during the whole farse, but with this one that makes four."

"Oh yeah? Then I think I'm only going to drive you to school once a month, so that will be five rides total during the whole farse, but since three days have already passed where I've done you the favor, now you only have two left."

"That's not fair!"

"Oh I think it's more than fair."

You both sink into soft laughter and the conversation between the two during the ride is light, talking about the match and the farce more than anything else.

Until finally Aemond arrives in the neighborhood where his friend's house is located and soon enough he parks near the house, where from this distance you hear the music and also see other cars parking and boys along with girls walking down the street heading towards the party.

You let out a sigh as you anticipate all the people already inside the house and how the party must be, as you and Aemond unbuckle your seatbelts.

"Well, are you ready?" he watches you slightly expectantly and with a soft look.

"Promise you really won't leave me alone," you urge him once again, serious.

"I promise," he says honestly, making pinky promise with you, "But here we must be together and I mean really together. Pretend we're crazy about each other. Remember, in places like these, a couple never stops being all over each other, so we have to pretend and pretend real good."

You swallow hard and he gives you a reassuring look, while you take a few seconds and finally nod. You place a softer face and lightly bite the inside of your cheek.

"Yeah, okay, I get it," you say softly, licking your lips.

"I'm not going to leave you alone. I'm going to be with you always," he assures you one last time before getting out of the car.

And you let out a heavy sigh, you get out of the car as well.

The pretending isn't over yet and this time, you're sure you and Aemond are going to take it to the next level. And it's still a lot to process but reluctantly and because you signed a contract, you enter the party together with him.

taglist:

@melsunshine @at-a-rax-ia @jxdegodfrey @ttkttt @yentroucnagol @kate-to-the-ki @iamavailablesstuff @bluerskiees @urmomsgirlfriend1 @toodlesxcuddles @rosie-posie08 @iloveallmyboys @bellaisasleep @deliaseastar @cupcakesminicakescupcakes

[theminecraftbee]

okay so. hear me out. but. au concept--

joel is one of many people affected by a Vanishing. its a phenomenon sweeping the country--people simply not showing up for work, school, life one day, as though they've vanished from the face of the earth. it's almost possible to mistake for normal missing persons cases, if it weren't for the way a few of the higher-profile Vanishings have happened to people who shouldn't have been able to vanish at all, let alone in a way that wouldn't be noticed until too late. look at joel's hometown. the people monitoring the dam were supposed to be redundant, and yet--

anyway. not like he cares or anything, except for the fact this stupid disaster or whatever has left him without anywhere to live or anyone to live with, and he still has a year of high school left, so he can't just do whatever he wants. luckily there's this school in a town called new hermiton that agreed to give him a scholarship to finish his education in the name of recovery and solidarity or whatever, and it's kind of a shwankier school than he'd normally go for, but it's free and, more importantly, they're willing to pay for his lodging, and he can't really turn that down. and it's not like he has a choice but to upend his entire life now. so packing what few of his belongings survived into a bag and getting on a train and moving across the country to a new school it is, he guesses.

(he's been having nightmares that inexplicably feature swarms of blue butterflies. last time he checked, lakes don't have butterflies in them. although maybe it's a metaphor or something, on account of the butterflies saying stupid stuff about how people who are remembered can't disappear, and even a false world cannot be erased if it's watched over, and how fate depends on him holding people in his heart. thanks for saying the same stupid shitty platitudes his social worker told him, just more cryptically, butterflies. real cool.)

new hermiton, it turns out, is a small city. while new hermiton academy is a newer school, much of the city is older. he's moved into a nice enough flat in an older apartment building. he has another cryptic butterfly dream. he thinks he remembers someone trying to urgently warn him of something, but it's all... shaky. that morning, he goes to the school for the first time. he's greeted by a fellow transfer student, skizzleman, although apparently he already knows some of the other folks in town, and transferred here so he could stay with them. but it's at least someone else in a similar enough situation to joel, especially since joel can just tell by the way people are looking at him that skizz didn't have much of a choice but to be here, either, and best friends with impulse or not, he's on his own too.

so. a friend. maybe this school won't be that bad, even if joel keeps having nightmares, and even if the weather here is weirdly cold for july, and even if his new homeroom professor keeps on looking at him really weirdly. (aren't professors supposed to be better about stupid rumors anyway? what's that mr. hills's deal?)

and then, two days later, he waves skizz off at the end of the school day, and gets skizz's friend, impulse, at his door, desperate to hear that skizz had just come to stay the night in joel's shitty lonely apartment, because otherwise it looks like--come on man. joel's already having a shit time. the universe deciding to go after his one existing friend too? he promises impulse to help investigate that night, in the vain hope that Skizz isn't one of the Vanished. joel gets a splitting migraine trying to follow their path back, though, and they have to stop for the night.

skizz is reported missing the next morning. joel resigns himself to cutting himself off from the people around him, as per usual. then, strangely, mr. hills corners him as he goes home.

"you'll need this," he says, and shoves what feels like a cheap butterfly knife into joel's hands. "uh, remember, trust your heart! you'll know how to use it."

"what," joel says. "hold on. you're supposed to be a teacher. why are you giving me this. i know for a fact my file says i have like, ptsd or whatever, which is stupid, but you definitely aren't supposed to be giving me a knife, you weirdo?"

"you'll know how to use it," joe hills says again. "goodbye! believe in yourself!"

mr. hills sprints behind a building before he has to explain anything else. joel is left standing on the sidewalk holding a knife, staring after him.

so. that's weird as hell. joel shivers in the cold and continues on his way home. the butterfly knife feels heavy in his pockets. he should probably report that guy to his social worker or something, but actually talking to his social worker feels like conceding defeat. joel can take care of himself. he can prove he can take care of himself. just watch him. step one: go out to get ramen because he forgot to buy any food for his apartment.

he sees impulse putting up signs as he eats. impulse looks miserable. joel thinks about how skizz, just in the short time he'd known him, had sort of unintentionally given away that he felt isolated after his mother Vanished. that impulse was a great friend, but impulse didn't understand what it was like. he never really SAID as much, but--

it's not fair to impulse, for that to be the last thing impulse remembered of what was apparently a friend since childhood. and joel doesn't care about any of these guys, but he can still pay his check and go out and help impulse go looking. he's no good at comforting people and doesn't know this guy, but joel had been alone too, sitting on the roof and crying, when the helicopters came.

except when they go back to the path by the school, joel's head starts to hurt again.

he looks up and there's a butterfly.

"hey, impulse, are butterflies common here?" he asks, a little desperately.

"i mean, not really, why?" impulse says.

"uh," joel says, and gestures. the two of them stare as the strange yellow butterfly circles in place.

"okay, so that is kind of weird," impulse admits.

"right?" joel says. "the only way it would be weirder is if it were blue." impulse gives him a look. joel does not explain.

it starts to fly away.

"we should follow it," impulse says, his voice getting a little dull. "yeah. we should follow it."

"what? no! no we should not follow the haunted butterfly, are you nuts?" joel says, but it's a bit too late. (maybe this is what the knife is for: stabbing impulse. it would be an effective method of stopping him!) he chases impulse down, down to the river, where yellow butterflies are swarming. impulse, as though possessed, simply steps into the swarm and falls through them to the water.

joel's, uh, freaking out more than a little bit? he'll admit he's freaking out. he dives forward to try to grab him, only to realize that he doesn't see impulse anywhere.

a single blue butterfly lands on joel's shoulder. "do you hold his heart next to yours?"

"i'm going insane," joel says.

"no heart is meant to be completely alone. do you hold his next to yours?"

"this isn't happening," joel says. "this is like a stupid manga or something. it's not happening."

"there is still time to save them; you must hold your heart strong, or the consequences will be dire. i believe in you."

the butterfly vanishes.

"fuck it," joel says. "if i drown then it's nothing people haven't expected of me anyway."

he steps through the swarm of butterflies.

that night, he drags both impulse and skizz out of the river. they're all freezing cold. shadows and strange, yellowy liquid still cling to all of their skin. also, joel stabbed himself, which like, glad to know that's what the knife was for, apparently, and the scar is warm and comforting. he can feel his--persona, and don't ask him how he knows that--shifting under his skin, under the mark on his hand. it said its name is pygmalion; it says it is a piece of joel's soul.

this is all patently insane. but skizz and impulse are alive and NOT eaten by shadow monsters, so even if they're both a little unconscious, joel takes that as a win.

they lie on the ground outside the river. someone stumbles across them. "well give me some teeth and call me an alligator. you got out on your own," breathes a fellow student clutching a dagger. joel thinks he's in the class across the hall. also--

"what are you talking about," joel wheezes.

"you found it on your own. you can find them?" the student says. his eyes are wide. something in joel's soul recognizes something in the student's. something in joel's BRAIN puts two and two together and realizes why mr. hills gave him a knife.

"no. no, go away, i don't want to be involved in this," joel says.

"well, don't you think it's too late for that?" the student says, and joel passes out. he's pretty sure the butterflies have to be laughing at him. in fact, as though to mock him further, after passing out, he doesn't even get to avoid it forever, because he wakes up in a glowing blue boat. there is a man with white-blonde hair, blue eyes, and a blue outfit leaning over him, poking him.

joel takes no responsibility for punching him. he'd do it again, too, as the long-nosed man sitting next to the unmanned steering wheel welcomes him to the velvet room.

(this, joel realizes later, all rather sets the tone for what the next year of his life is about to become.)

[tiramisuwithmascarpone]

Hello! I'm a 15-year-old devotee of both Lord Hermes and Lady Aphrodite who is raised in an extremely Orthodox Christian household, and I would like to share my story with you ⋆˚ʚɞ

Hi! for safety reasons I will not use the name I usually use online for this account, but you can call me Jellyfish. I live in Eastern Europe, more exactly Romania, a country whose population is 98% devoted to Christianity at the time of speaking. My mother is a perfect example. She wholeheartedly believes in God, I grew up with pictures of him and the Holy Mary all over the walls, which I wouldn't escape even at my grandparent's houses. My house always smelled of myrrh, I would carry a picture of God everywhere I went, I would pray to him before bed, go to church on every holiday, but I never felt fulfilled or connected to him in any way. I didn't truly know what I believed in. My mother was telling me all about how should I praise God, but I don't think I ever did it because I wanted to or felt connected to what she was telling me or felt like it was the life I wanted to live. When she would fight with my father, even now, she would threaten that she would run away to a monastery and become a nun. She thinks you cannot change your religion and you can not be Christian if you were born with Christian parents and raised in that environment. I did not have faith in God because I wanted to and felt connected to his message and wanted to worship his divine being, I did it because my mother felt that way. And that destroyed me.

As I grew older, I started believing less and less in God. I was struggling with going through teenagehood, fighting my own inner battles, and dealing with friendship that slowly felt like they were taking away my lifespan, and it wasn't just that I didn't have faith in a divine being (which is completely alright. Please do not believe this monologue is Anti-Christian, I believe everyone is allowed to believe and worship the one who they feel most connected and inclined towards.) I didn't have faith in anything anymore. When my brother reached 15, he hated my parents for their beliefs. I will not get much I detail since his story is not mine to tell, but he had battled with alcohol and substance abuse. And I was his only shoulder for him and my parents to lean and cry on. My mother told me to pray for our family, she would pray to god every day, light up myrrh, take me to churches, and I would feel miserable. I felt like an imposter in that church. I truly wanted to have faith in a god, anyone, but I felt like my only choice was God since that's what my mother taught me. Both my parents trust God so I cannot be different, can I?

How foolish I was. I can only look back to my past self and wish to embrace and hold her till she cries all her sorrow out. She was so confused.

Back in 2022, I had first heard of Aphrodite. My brother was sent to a mental hospital for his substance abuse when they caught him on the verge of overdosing. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder after a suicide attempt, autism and ADHD, but my father (who already couldn't accept the fact that my brother has ADHD) fought with them saying they ,,don't know me well enough" and,,there's nothing wrong with me". And he's right, there's nothing wrong with me. Not even If I am neurodivergent. I was at my lowest, I felt disgusting, I fought with my parents and was their therapist every single day, I stopped going to school, I was a mess. But, I was heavily active on social media because I had tons of online friends. While scrolling on tiktok, I found a video of an Aphrodite devotee. My interest was piqued. I heard about Greek Mythology before but never actually researched it. I liked the video and commented, talking about how gorgeous their faith sounds, and that's when it all started. I started getting more info about Aphrodite, the swans swum by me every time I would go to the lake with my family so we could ,,get some fresh air". I started getting lots of pins on Pinterest with her. I always had a desire for water and the beach was my safe place, where I felt fulfilled and free from all I'm feeling. I had a Dove make itself a nest on a tree next to the window of my classroom which I would always sit by while having lunch (on the rare occasions I would drop by to school). I started researching more about Lady Aphrodite, loving her story, beliefs, ways of worshipping, how it felt like silence was washing over me when I would make a non-physical offering to her. Her tales. The way it felt like she was always there to give me a warm hug and squeeze me while I was crying. I also felt a boost in my confidence! I started loving my features, taking care of myself again, etc. It wasn't always just sun and rainbows, I would still have breakdowns and wish it would all just end and all that, but it was more bearable with her. She made my life more bearable. I love, worship, and adore Lady Aphrodite for that. I worshipped her till this year when I officially felt strong enough to devote myself to her.

This year, actually, I started noticing my strong connection to Hermes. I was always attracted to the kind-hearted, mischievous, kind-hearted, highly intelligent and funny thieves. I always idolized them and wished to be like them. That's how I feel about Lord Hermes. I feel like he was reaching out to me all my life. Everything he is associated with I had an inexplicable obsession with for pretty much all my life. Turtles, golden or silver, travel, learning new languages, astronomy, astrology, everything you could think of. I have been devoted to him since last month, that's when I officially started labeling myself as a Hellenic Pagan, but I am still a beginner, and I need to hide all of this from my mother since I am afraid of what she would do if she were to find out I have another belief since she reacted super badly back when I was an atheist :( I set up the first altar for Lady Aphrodite, and the second one for Lord Hermes. I always had been an artistic soul and loved making my room all pretty randomly so I told my mother this is one of those cases and she believed it. She does not know english and is not at all cultured about any beliefs besides Christians, Muslims, and Jews. They are both hidden in my closet. I feel very bad for not being able to make them a bigger and more obvious altar, I hope I'll have that chance when I move out from my parent's house..

I wanted to ask if Lord Hermes would be mad if my mom kept setting random things on his altar? she even put a picture of the Holy Mary. I moved it to the other side of the closet and made a DIY necklace for him out of orange garnet or beads to apologize to him, and he didn't seem mad, but I'm not sure...I sketched drawings of both of them and rested them on their altars. Everything you see are either offerings I heard they may like or things that reminded me of them! the little notebook on Hermes's altar is specifically made for learning new languages and thought he would enjoy it. Do you guys think any of my offerings are disrespectful? or should be removed? I'm open to any advice! Thank you for listening to my story <3

[idyllcy]

and on and on, yeah we got the time

Word count: 1.2k || pt2 of on and on, || art creds: 30backyard (lofter)

summary: dorming is hell, so your boyfriend fixes that obv

"You know, Jay." You raise a brow as he does all of the heavy lifting, sliding your mattress on the ground into your shared bedroom in the new apartment. 

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Oh, god. Did you learn that while reading on ao3 again? Jesus." You grumble. "What I was going to say, though, was that you really... you probably could have called a moving company."

"Listen, lovely." He points. "You have me."

"Yeah, yeah." You sigh. "I love you too, Jay."

"Good, cuz I've seen how many weird fratboys make eyes at you on the daily, and I honestly think some of them need to get beat."

"Not like you couldn't beat them." You pat his shoulder. "Is that it?"

"Should be." He hums. "How do you like our place?"

"Can't wait to have all of my annoying ass textbooks slotted in the bookshelves that you decided were necessary while telling Bruce to remodel."

"Can't wait to have your dissertation plastered on the walls."

"Oh..." You mumble. "Our degrees... You plan on living here forever?"

"Just a little, maybe."

"Could we just throw the mattress off the balcony next time?"

"I mean, I'm not saying no..."

You find that Jason's still the biggest book nerd in college. His 4.0 is daunting compared to yours despite being in the same school as you, and it's just a little... terrifying. At the very least, all of his professors adore him. You find that it's at the very least — helpful. It's great that Jason's adored by your shared professors because when Jason accidentally lets slip that you're his girlfriend, it gives you a boost. You don't know how, but you end up relaying messages to Jason through your professors occasionally. You wonder just what kind of tactics Jason's employing to get on their good side an ungodly amount, but it's not your problem. Jason has the face card and the personality for it.

At the very least, when it comes to you, he does.

"Prof wants to see you at office hours." He hums. "English 102."

"Jesus, what did I do now?" You grimace.

"Probably that shitty essay you bullshitted."

"God." You mumble. "I truly need to get on your level."

"Thank you, sweetheart." He hums. "The art of knowing does not come easy."

"Yeah, yeah." You grumble. "We should get back to a book a week. Sorry, I mean I should get back to a book a week."

"You can start by catching up with me."

"M..." You pause. "How about... no."

"Well, your choice." Jason hums. "We're mid semester—"

"WHICH IS ANOTHER THING. WHY DID WE MOVE MID-SEMESTER??" You snap your head to look at him, annoyed. "Jay, baby."

"I know." He pouts. "But you hated that dorm too."

"Yeah, but now I have to change all of my mailing addresses. Again." You mumble. "I hate doing that. I don't know how many accounts I even have."

"At least you got all of your packages."

"I guess..." You sigh. "Well, at the very least... we own this place."

"We own the building."

"WHAT." 

"Correction. B bought the building and transferred ownership to me. I own the building."

"Oh my god." You mumble. "You truly are learning from the worst..."

"Worst being you?"

"Yes. Duh. How many times have I called B for a hundred dollars because I couldn't afford matcha?"

Jason holds back a laugh, closing his eyes as his brows furrow. "Matcha does not—"

"No, but B can spare it." You hum. "Don't worry. I pay him back with the abundance of gifts I bring with each travel."

"Which is on B's account." Jason pauses. "You know what? Yeah. Whatever. Eat the rich. I didn't steal his tires and strike gold for me to be telling you to go easy on his bank account."

You give him a thumbs up. "Well, I make my own as well. It's nice to not need to worry about tuition... but it's also a pain in the ass to not be able to make money here."

"At least you have a legal ssn and everything."

"Not."

"Not ssn. Sorry." He snorts. "Well, better than the goons in Gotham, I'm sure."

"Definitely." You hum.

Jason tunes out your rambling as he glances around the room. The couch would arrive soon, and the rest of the furniture (including the 4K HD TV that you deemed necessary in order to, and he quotes, "see men in 4k" on) would arrive soon. He wonders just what he would be doing had he not met you. 

Would his life have ended when he nearly lost his life? Would he have gone to find his mother had you not clung onto him and threatened suicide? Even then, you were insane. He glances back at you as you tilt your head at him, expecting an answer.

"Sorry, babe. Spaced out."

"I was asking if you wanted takeout for dinner."

"Maybe?" Jason pauses. "Sure. You wanna order?"

"There's a place downstairs that I wanted to go to." You hum. "Right out there."

"Hope that pizza is just as good as the one that Dick won't shut up about." Jason mumbles.

"You recon I could ask them if they take school dining dollars?"

"They don't."

"Wouldn't hurt to ask." You grin. 

"I'm not asking for you." He deadpans. "I'll search it on reddit for you, though."

"Mm... that works." You hum. "So... wanna tell me what was on that exam you took?"

"No."

"No?? Not even a clue??" You gasp, pretending to be hurt.

"You'll be fine."

"That 88 I got on my first exam begs to differ."

"You're my smart girl." He hums.

You grimace at him.

"Alright, alright. But you're paying for dinner."

"Bruce is, but yeah." You click on your phone, handing him the menu as you get cozy on the couch. 

Jason settles into a day to day with you, fingers interlaced with yours, placing grapes in your mouth as you rest, sigh breaking through your chest as you rest the book over your eyes.

"Tired?"

"Very." You hum. "How was your final?"

"I finished." He pulls another grape, pressing it to your lips as you part them to eat. "You're getting real lazy, sweetheart, you know that?"

"Yeah." You hum. "But you love me."

Jason pretends to think about it, tapping his chin as he puts the bowl down. "I don't know..."

"You're hand feeding me grapes and you're telling me you don't know if you love me?" You move the book from your eyes, raising a brow at him as you shuffle and lean on your elbows.. "Jason, beloved. If you tell me you don't know one more time I'm sending you straight to hell."

"By killing me?"

"Jay, baby?"

"Yes?"

"No." 

He reaches for the bowl again, breaking another grape off to give you.

"But you love me."

"Yeah, yeah." You sigh, taking the grape as Jason presses his lips to yours, giving you a quick kiss. You make a noise in protest.

"I love you more than words could express, sweetheart." He takes the last grape, slipping it past his own lips as you throw your head into the arm of the couch and groan.

"You cheeseball."

"Says the one who asked me out."

"I didn't even ask you out all that cheesily." 

"Yeah, but you asked me out."

"And you accepted it." You point. "Loser."

"Yeah, your loser."

"My loser." You sigh. 

[whipped-for-kpop-fics]

Down To Clown - M.YG

💦Who; Min Yoongi (BTS) x reader 💦What; Smut, producer/idol au/verse, friends to fuckers 💦Wordcount; 14kish 💦Warnings; they are both bi/pan, profanity, dirty talk, switch yoongi, switch reader, anal fingering(m), crying with pleasure, coming untouched, sex toys, lingerie, oral (m&f), marks, pegging, anal sex, multiple orgasms, oral fixation, biting, fingering, mentions of being infertile through choice, sex without a condom, penetrative sex, piv sex, cockwarming, somnophilia, choking, squirting, minor blood, mentions of knife play(it is not explored in this story)

Summary; You ask to finger one of your closest friends, he says yes and things get real fun after that.

Minors do NOT interact, which means reblogging/commenting on this story. I WILL block any account that interacts without an age indicator in the bio. -2024 Masterlist- Ao3 link

A/N- this was actually started 3 years ago with an OC so that i could get out my fantasy of topping yoongles, which means this was extremely self-indulgent. I just want to make Yoongi cry okay I've edited to the best of my abilities to change it from an OC to reader but if I've missed any pieces, pretend otherwise, thanks <3 @wonuvs enjoy, sweetheart 💖

Edited 25/10/24 - just grammar, formatting etc

The dark-haired rapper looks over exasperatedly at the third call of his name. "What?" He huffs when you don't say anything from where you're sitting cross-legged on the couch and instead choose to hold his gaze with wide, round eyes that he would call innocent if he didn't know you better than that by now.

"You've been with guys, right?" You question slowly.

"Yeah?"

"And you've bottomed?"

"You already know this. Get to the point."

"I'm working on it," you pout, absently tracing your fingers over the strings of the guitar laid across your lap. "So, you've had fingers in your ass?"

"Jesus, what the fuck?" He sputters in genuine shock at your out-of-the-blue question.

"You said get to the point!"

"I didn't think it would be about my ass,"

"It's not, really, just...asses in general. The male ass. With fingers. Guys getting fingered."

"Were you watching porn while hanging out with me?" He deadpans unimpressed.

"No." He gives you a disbelieving look. "Well not intentionally. I was on Twitter minding my own business and suddenly, bam! There was a gif of a guy getting fingered."

"So, you decided to watch it?"

"Yes."

"Despite the fact that you claim to not watch porn?"

"I don't. Never been interested." You shrug, and as much as Yoongi wants to argue and point out that people who aren't interested in porn don't watch porn gifs, he can't because he can see that you are being entirely honest.

"Right, okay." He lets out a breath, it sounds suspiciously like an exasperated sigh. "So, you watched this gif and decided to bring up my sex life?"

"Well, I've always been curious about fingering a guy like, what it feels like and the prostate sounds interesting like can you actually feel it? It's wild, man."

"You want to finger a guy?" He gawps, surprised by the revelation. You just nod.  "Seriously?"

"Yeah. Originally, I just wanted to peg a guy, I wanna know if I'd be any good with a dick and something about fucking a guy is really hot."

"I don't even know what to say," he murmurs truthfully. You shrug and run your hands over the guitar again, which draws his attention. "Well...your nails are short at least," he comments quietly.

"Easier for playing guitar and with myself."

"Holy fuck, you can't just..." He exhales and rubs his hands over his face.

"Sorry. I'm frustrated and my filter always vanishes when I'm like this."

"Frustrated about wanting to finger a guy?" He questions, dropping his hands onto his thighs carelessly to look at you again.

"Well, yeah, I guess but I meant sexually frustrated, like horny."

"Fuck me," Yoongi murmurs softly, but due to the lack of activity going on in the room you hear it loud and clear.

"I don't have a strap-on," you reply with a frown that looks oddly genuine.

"A strap-on...wait, I wasn't like, asking," he rushes out, cheeks flushed as he understands what you mean.

"Oh," your frown turns further downwards. "I'd probably be bad anyway."

"I've seen you dance, you can move your hips," he admits gruffly.

"Oh...in that case, your loss. I'd make you cum really good."

"Shut up," Yoongi grunts and shuffles in his seat while diverting his gaze elsewhere.

"Sorry." You remove the guitar from your lap to prop it back on its stand beside the couch without even getting up. Then, you stretch out and slouch slightly so that you can rest your head on the back of the couch with your bare feet planted firmly on the floor, legs spread in a way that your mother always scolded you for as it is 'unlady like'. "It's for the best anyway, I don't want to get sexually involved with someone who would just be thinking of someone else the whole time, you know?"

"What? Why are you assuming I'd be doing that?" He squares his eyes almost accusingly at you while crossing his arms over his chest.

"Because you're not attracted to me like that," your response is simple, easy, as if it is common knowledge; a fact of the world you had learned a long time ago.

"Who says?" You raise a challenging eyebrow. "I'm not blind, you're hot as fuck."

"Doesn't mean you're down to clown though."

"Not if you keep talking like that," he huffs, sitting back further in his chair.

You straighten a little with hope beginning to sparkle in your eyes. "That sounds like you'd at least consider it if I used other phrasing."

Yoongi says nothing and keeps his lips pressed together. The smirk that lifts your lips tells him that he's about to meet a version of you that he has only seen in the dreams he will never admit to waking up hard from- sometimes even shaking and coming down from an orgasm.

You sit up until you're fully upright, though your legs remain spread and Yoongi hates how it does something for him, how much it does for him. He has never before experienced a cocky female who isn't afraid to hold herself in a stereotypical male way, and honestly, it's the best of both worlds for him.

"Yoongi, Yoonie, babyboy," you coo, and he scoffs at the final term if only to hide and deny the blush winding up his neck. "Will you let me fuck you? Can I put my fingers in that pretty, perky ass of yours until you cum? Fuck, I bet you'd look so good being edged, so overwhelmed that you can't help but cry and babble absolute fucking nonsense while begging to cum," you murmur out, dark eyes growing heavier by the second.

"Fuck," Yoongi whispers, dick twitching in his boxers.

You don't respond and simply lean your right elbow on the backrest to lean your head against your fist. You just watch him, waiting; so patient for a response.

Almost as if you're playing with him, taunting, teasing, offering him the best seat in the house if only he is brave enough to admit to wanting it, and taking the first step.

Part of him is certain that you aren't doing that at all, that you are genuinely just waiting for him to think it over. That you're not willing to rush him or put any pressure on him to answer in a particular way. But a brand new part of him doesn't have a fucking clue what you're capable of in the bedroom.

After a tense handful of moments where you simply hold each other's gaze while Yoongi's mind runs wild hidden safely behind his eyes, he turns back to his desk.

Even though you're disappointed, you had honestly expected as much, so you don't stop to sulk or pout and instead reach back towards the guitar. You barely have your hand around the neck when you hear a drawer close a little too forcefully, especially as it's by Yoongi's hand, so you look back up and find that his computer programs are closed and only a music app is open. You release your grasp on the instrument and settle back to watch curiously.

Yoongi finds a playlist that you two often listen to; something full of smooth beats and low voices.

As the first song starts, he gets up and turns. He has something in his hands but it's hidden, at least until he has crossed the small distance between you to toss it onto the couch seat on your right. You can't help but look down and find a little bottle of lube on the cushion.

"If you're serious about wanting to try, I'm down to clown," he speaks, drawing your attention back. He's nervous and embarrassed, it's obvious to you even if he's trying his best to hide it.

"Most definitely." You nod and straighten up even further before patting your lap firmly. "C'mere."

"You want me on you?"

"You have no idea," you almost snort with your amusement, but hold it back. You pat your thigh again with your left hand while your right picks up the bottle.

"Oh right, uh, okay. Uhm, lemme just..." He quickly unzips his jeans to shuffle out of them and kick them aside, before moving forward to press his left knee on the outside of your right thigh. "I'm heavier than I look," he warns while gingerly placing his right knee on the other side of your thighs, one hand pushed against the backrest beside your shoulder for stability.

You roll your eyes and grab his hips to pull his body onto your lap. Yoongi hiccups on an inhale in surprise at the sudden action which leaves him perched on your stable thighs with wide eyes. "I can handle it, don't worry."

"You should know," he rushes out quickly, causing your hands to halt where they have started to run over his thighs; curious to explore the skin you have never seen exposed on him before. "I already cleaned up, I do every shower-"

"I know."

"H-how?"

"You told me when drunk once that you like to always be prepared to get dicked down. I figured out the rest due to the length of your showers, babe."

"Oh...right..." He chews on his bottom lip, which almost matches the tint on his cheeks. "Oh well, I was going to say that you should always make sure your guy is cleaned first because you know...asshole."

"Yeah, I got it," you grin and squeeze his thigh supportively, which only makes him jolt. "Are you sure you want to do this, Yoongi? I really won't be offended if you don't. I don't want you to be uncomfortable or anything."

"No, no, I do. S'just...we've been friends for a while now and I never thought anything like this would happen between us. And I haven't been touched by anyone but myself in so long it kind of feels like the first time."

"I'll go slow."

"I know. I trust you. Wouldn't be doing this otherwise," he huffs out a small laugh.

"I'm glad. I trust you too." You smile at each other for a moment; allowing the moment to get used to what you're planning to do, even only a little. "So, Mr Min, you're in charge here, I've no fucking clue what I'm doing so you kind of need to lead me."

"Oh, right, yeah." He inhales, then pushes up a little to shimmy his boxers down under the crease where his ass meets his thighs, it allows him to keep his crotch hidden by the material just in case his t-shirt doesn't. He isn't quite prepared for one of his closest friends to see his flaccid dick, no matter what you're about to get up to.

When he settles back down, he's unable to look in your eyes but you don't make him knowing how shy he must feel right now.

"So uhm...you can start dry if you want, if you want to feel and get used to touching, just don't try and push in."

"You're okay with that?" He nods and takes the lube to fiddle with the bottle and free your right hand. You wait a second, just in case, before moving your hand around his body to curiously trail your fingers over his smooth ass, humming in approval at the lack of hair at all. "Smooth."

"Yeah I uhm, I shave," he admits.

"Must be awkward."

"A little." He sucks on his lip when your fingertip finds his rim and traces over it gently in an almost featherlight touch. "S'weird, right? Girls find it weird usually. For guys to be shaved."

"I don't like body hair on anyone regardless of gender. Wouldn't bother me much if you did have it, just that being hair-free is my preference."

"Does that mean you shave too?" He pointedly glances at your crotch.

"Wax, lasts longer."

"Oh." He swallows when your left hand leaves his thigh to pluck the bottle from his hands, giving him nothing to fiddle with. "I-I thought about trying but uh...seems hard to do alone."

"Yeah, kind of is," you admit, laughing softly and focusing on Yoongi's reactions to the sound of a cap opening and lube squirting out.

He lifts his right hand absently to chew on the skin beside his thumb; an anxiety fuelled habit he's working hard to quit.

"Hey." You lean forward to nudge the top of his head with your nose. He lifts it just enough to peer at you. "We can stop, seriously," you offer, tone genuine and soft.

He shakes his head and quickly lowers his hand to grasp your shirt as if he has only just realised what he's doing to his poor fingers. "I want to. Just nervous."

"What usually helps you relax with a partner?"

"Kissing."

"Do you want to kiss?" He blinks a few times before finding his eyes on your lips almost like he has never seen them before. "I'm more than happy to kiss you if it helps, baby."

"O-okay," He nods.

"No, not okay. Don't just agree with me, this won't work if you're not 100%, Yoongi."

"I am." He nods, firmer and more confidently. "I want to. Wanna kiss you."

"Alright," you agree with a short nod of your own. The syllables almost get sucked back into your throat when Yoongi suddenly surges forward to connect your mouths.

You wait for a few minutes until Yoongi is entirely absorbed in kissing before you press slick fingers against his rim. He jolts, and his mouth falters for a second before moving again; slower than before as if he's too busy focusing on what's about to happen compared to what he's doing. You don't blame him.

At first, you just circle his hole curiously until he squirms a little impatiently, and only then do you edge the tip of your index finger inside. Yoongi inhales sharply but doesn't jump or pull away. You wriggle your finger a little before pushing in further.

"You gotta let me know if I hurt you," you warn once your finger is in as far as possible. Yoongi nods in agreement and reconnects your lips by grabbing your face and pulling it back to his. You chuckle with amusement against his lips, though are more than happy to follow his wishes.

You start a gentle, curious rhythm of softly prodding around inside, punctuated with sliding your finger out then back in.

"M-more," he breathes out in no time at all, so you comply, pulling your finger out to return with another beside it. Yoongi lets out a soft moan at the barely there stretch, just a little more pressure at your knuckles that makes him sigh happily.

"It's okay?" You wonder.

"Y-yeah, can go a little faster if you want."

"Okay, baby," you agree, doing as asked knowing it's more of a request than a suggestion. He's too shy to ask for what he wants so you're going to have to read between the lines and you've already mentally prepared yourself for that.

You watch his reactions to your ministrations, his closed eyes and parted lips, as his hips take barely noticeable movements; which you follow to do the best you can for him.

Up until this point, you have entirely avoided his prostate. Yoongi assumes it's because you don't know where it is, that you are getting used to everything else first before trying to search for it. But you know where it is and haven't wanted to touch it yet. You want Yoongi to genuinely get used to your touch and enjoy it without his prostate being brought in.

When you pull your hand out and away entirely, his eyes open and he frowns at you with a little whine of complaint. "Why'd you stop? Are you finished?"

"No," you laugh and shuffle you both a little so that you can slide your arm in the gap between your spread thighs to reach underneath him and slide your fingers back inside. "This angle is better." You smirk and crook your fingers forward to press directly on his prostate. Yoongi's eyes roll back and he moans loudly. "Right?"

"F-fuck, I-I thought you didn't know..."

"What, where the prostate is?" You laugh as he wriggles on your hands at the attack of your fingertips relentlessly rubbing the sensitive patch. "I know exactly where it is, I've just never put it to use before."

"You su-sure?" His fingers knot in your hair when you wrap your free arm tight around his waist to hold him still, preventing his movements. "Shit, fuck."

"You like being held still?"

"Fuck off."

"Oh, really?" Suddenly, you stop your attack and pull out to lean back against the backrest with your elbows resting on the back. You lean your head on your left palm, the clean one, as the lube-slicked hand hangs limply.

"Wh-what?" Yoongi's eyes are wide with betrayal and desperation. "N-no, no, don't stop. Put your fingers back in my ass, come on," he whines, tugging at your arm, but you hold it firmly in place making him whine and bounce a little with frustration. "Please?"

"Good boy." Your right hand hovers between your bodies. "More lube."

He nods and obediently squirts out a fair amount of lube onto your waiting fingers. "Three now?"

"You want three?" You hum questioningly, sliding your arm back underneath to rub three fingers against his rim. He nods enthusiastically and tries to tilt his hips in a way to make them slide inside, yet you always move away with a grin.

"You're so mean."

"I am." He pouts cutely, making you giggle. "Okay, baby, I'll play nice." And you do; you slide two fingers back inside to stretch him out a bit more, then add the third. "That okay?" You ask, moving carefully to allow him time to get used to it.

"Y-yeah, s'good."

"Yeah?" He nods and circles his hips down against your hand. "Can you cum untouched?"

Yoongi falls still and opens his eyes to look at you; he honestly hadn't even realised that his eyes closed in the first place. "I've never tried," he admits.

"Can we try? I think it'd be really hot."

"Oh uh, okay," he agrees, cheeks flushing a little darker than the pleasure and slight exertion already has them.

"You can change your mind at any time, okay?"

"I know," he agrees, giving you a shy smile before leaning forward to return his lips to yours, so you straighten up and move your left arm from the back of the couch to wrap back around him.

You let him get used to the rhythm of your slow, deep kiss, which you've matched the movements of your fingers and he his hips to, before without warning, you push in harder and faster. Yoongi hiccups on a breath, which he doesn't have time to regulate before you pull out and repeat the action causing your hand to slap against his ass a little.

What follows is a string of whines and groans and swears from Yoongi's open mouth, head tipped back and hips bouncing. "So good, you're so good," he pants out, on the verge of mindlessness.

"I can be better," you promise. Yoongi's hole clenches at the thought, making you groan a little. "You're so fucking hot, Yoongi."

Yoongi gasps and bounces harder feeling his climax nearing. Your fingers curl and rub against his prostate with every thrust and his movements grow more desperate. Your left arm returns around his waist to hold him still and force him to just take it, which causes an almost sob to break from his throat.

"G-gonna cum," he announces, instinctively moving his hand between your bodies, but you remove your arm from around his waist to slap his hand away from where he almost has his cock in hand.

"Don't touch."

"Can't help it. Need it," he all but sobs while looking at you with wet, hooded eyes.

"No, you don't."

"But-" He reaches out again, and you huff in frustration before pulling your fingers out of his ass. "No! No! No! M'sorry! I'll be good!" He begs. "Don't stop, please."

"I won't, baby, it's okay, I'm going to make you cum," you assure soothingly and press a kiss to his lips while wiping the tears trickling down his ruddy cheeks. "But you're unable to not touch yourself so we need to move."

"M-move?" He sniffles.

"On your back." He nods and scrambles off of your lap to lay on his back on the couch. He kicks off his boxers and spreads his legs ready for you. You admire him for a moment, and only move when he wriggles self-consciously. "Sorry. You're so beautiful, you know that?"

"M'not," he huffs, looking away as you turn to settle between his thighs on your knees and lay his thighs over your own.

"You are, don't argue with me."

He pouts but doesn't argue further, which you find very interesting. He has essentially submitted to you and all it took was having his prostate touched.

For a moment, you stop to wonder if he's always that quick to submit or if it's because he trusts you and hasn't been touched by a hand except his own in so long.

After roaming your eyes over his pliant body under you, you decide that it's a thought for later though and wriggle a pillow behind his head to prop him up just a little into a more comfortable position against the armrest.

"Hands above your head, baby." He listens and lifts both arms to lay the backs of his hands against the armrest. When you lean over and cover his wrists with your left hand to pin them down, his eyes blow wide and a shiver runs through his body. "Oh, that is a very interesting reaction, sweetheart, we'll have to talk about it later but now." You slide your fingers back into him, loving the way his eyes immediately roll back and his back arches slightly as your fingertips drag over his prostate.

In this position, you can't stop Yoongi's hips jerking and doing their best to fuck himself back on your fingers that force consistent full moans from his open mouth that sound like they come from the bottom of his chest.

It's clear when Yoongi's teetering on the edge of his climax as his tone grows higher and his movements more desperate while his arms fight to be freed so that he can touch himself.

"Come on, baby, you can do it. Let me see how messy you can get without your cock being touched, huh? Gonna let me see what good boys can do, hm?" You encourage with your eyes darting all over him; stuck between watching his face, and the outline of his cock hidden underneath his t-shirt due to the fact neither of you had thought to move it. You really wish you had pushed it up because the thought of seeing Yoongi cum all over himself probably does a little too much for you to be able to admit.

"M'a good boy," he parrots mindlessly.

"Prove it. Cum for me."

He whines and his legs pull up towards his torso as his body curls in a little before a loud, long moan tears from his throat while his legs push out and his back arches, pushing his chest towards you with the force of his orgasm surging through his body. You remove the pressure on his prostate and slow your movements down enough to not overstimulate or hurt, yet still ride him through the pleasure with the slow drag.

When he slumps against the seat, chest shuddering with his heavy breaths, you gently remove your fingers making him shudder a little and whimper.

"It's okay, baby, you did so good for me. Such a good boy, thank you." You release his wrists, yet he makes no attempt to move, too tired from the most intense orgasm he has ever experienced. "I'm going to get some tissues from your desk, okay? I'll be right back." Yoongi frowns and pouts at the thought of being left, yet does nothing else, doesn't even open his eyes until you're back and gently wiping the lube from his ass. "Hey." You smile up at him when you notice he's more with it again, or at least enough to open his eyes. He pouts further. "What?"

"Kisses."

"Oh." You giggle and obligingly lean over him to press your lips to his.

The kiss is much slower and looser than any before; a clear reflection of how sated and lazy Yoongi feels, yet he still wants to kiss and softly lick into your mouth.

When you feel his movements get even slower, almost as if he's falling asleep while making out, you pull back. Yoongi whines and tries to chase your lips but he's back to not even bothering to open his eyes.

"Let me clean you up and then if you're still awake, we can kiss more, okay?" You reason.

"Hm, fine," He slurs sulkily, though stays almost motionless on the seat with hands still above his head as his face turns towards the back of the couch.

"Are you okay with me lifting your t-shirt?" He hums and nods a little, and you know that's the most you'll get from him, so you gently lift the t-shirt out of the drying mess to hold up and away. You don't even take a second to take in the mess on his skin or his flaccid dick, just quickly and carefully wipe him up as best as you can before tossing out the tissues and returning the bottle of lube to what you hope is the correct desk drawer.

You return to the couch with Yoongi's hoodie and are about to ask him to sit up to change out of the dirty top yet find him snoring softly already. Instead, you shuffle his boxers back up onto his body and settle them snugly against his hips before gently and painstakingly removing the soiled t-shirt.

You just about manage to get the hoody on his uncooperative body as he whines and tries to curl back against the cushions every time you almost accidentally rouse him out of his sleep.

Once you're done with your task, you admire his relaxed, sleeping features for a moment too long, and then settle up to his desk to watch some videos while he sleeps.

During a break in between episodes, you hear shuffling, so you remove the headphones and turn to find Yoongi shuffling to sit up while rubbing at his eyes. "Sleep well?" You ask softly.

He nods, and yawns for good measure, before stretching and then finally looking at you. "How long was I sleeping?"

"Couple hours."

"What?!" He baulks. "Why didn't you wake me?"

"Didn't have the heart to, you were pretty fucking exhausted,"

"Oh, uhm…" He looks down at himself as the actions previous to his nap return to his mind. "So that happened...did you change me?" He tugs on his hoodie confused.

"Hm yeah, didn't think you'd appreciate waking up with a cum covered t-shirt."

"No yeah, right...thanks." He turns to sit properly and places his feet on the floor. "So uhm, are you sure you've never done that before?"

"Positive."

"But that was better than tops I've been with."

"Oh, really?" You beam proudly and he hums in confirmation with a nod. "Ah, well maybe it's because their intention isn't to make you feel good but to just get you ready so that they can stick their dicks in you," you suggest.

"Maybe." He shrugs and gets to his feet with a slight wince. "If this is how I feel with just your fingers, you'd destroy me with a dick," he comments while grabbing his jeans from the floor to wobble into.

You get up to help steady him so that he doesn't fall on his ass. "Would you let me?"

"What?"

"Fuck you, if I bought a strap-on?"

"Oh." He nods shyly.

"Words, baby, come on, you know the rules."

"Shut up." He huffs and bats you away while you snigger. You close down what you had been doing on the computer and return to the couch to flop down in a slouch. "Do you know where to buy one? A strap?" Yoongi glances at you as he buttons his jeans.

"Yep, the place I get my usual stuff from sells some interesting ones."

"I'm honestly concerned about what you mean by interesting."

"Look yourself." You get back up to sit at the desk and open up the adult toy store's website. "Sit." You pat your thighs invitingly. Yoongi only hesitates a moment before sitting on your lap so that you can look at the screen together.

"There is no way you're fucking me with that," he deadpans when you point out an honestly obnoxiously huge dildo with ridges.

"Oh, so I can fuck you then?"

"With a normal one, yes," he agrees, and moves your hand from the mouse to scroll himself. "Here look, normal." He points to a very basic-looking realistic dildo.

"Boo, boring. At least try a tentacle." He glares at you, making you laugh. "Joking. How big do you like?"

"Uhm just average is good."

"Bullshit, you scream size queen to me." Yoongi sputters but doesn't argue. "Find one that looks the best to you."

"This is embarrassing," he whines.

"No, it's not. Be a good boy and pick a cock to be fucked with, Yoongi," you hum against his neck, earning a shiver. Yoongi doesn't hesitate to begin intently looking at all the options. "Hm, good boy." You press an approving kiss against his skin and wrap your arms around his waist to squeeze a little. He jolts in surprise, but then shuffles a little to settle in your hold.

After a little while of careful consideration, Yoongi shyly points out the one he likes the best and wants to try with you.

"Okay, add it to the basket." So, he does. "And now find a smaller one."

"What?" He looks over his shoulder at you with a confused frown. "Why?"

"Because I've never done this before so I don't want to go in with that one first and hurt you. Start small and build up to it."

"Oh, okay, that's smart." He agrees and returns his attention to the computer. He doesn't take as long to find a smaller dildo and add it to the basket. "Need a harness now," he murmurs, clicking through to find the right section. "What kind do you want? There's underwear style ones with a connection on the front or ones that are essentially harnesses."

"I don't know. Maybe get one of each style to try?"

"Okay. What size?"

"I don't know, depends on their size guide. I haven't bought lingerie from this site so I don't know what their sizing is like."

"Lingerie?" Yoongi looks at you with interest. "You have lingerie?"

"Yeah."

"Oh...will you wear some for me?"

"You want me to?" He nods. "Okay. We can look on here too and see if there's anything in particular you'd like to see."

"Why didn't we do this earlier?" Yoongi groans, then leans over to kiss you for a moment. "You're the best."

"I know," you giggle and pat his thighs. "Find the size guide."

A few days later, Yoongi finds himself seated at the head of your bed with his back against the headrest watching you unpack the box in front of him.

The order had arrived that morning. You had excitedly texted Yoongi the moment it did, and he had immediately cleared his evening plans.

As soon as his work day ended, Yoongi rushed home to drop off his stuff and shower thoroughly ready, then quickly made his way to your apartment.

So here he is, both nerves and excitement running through his body knowing that soon, you will be fucking him.

As each item is placed on the bed, Yoongi fidgets more and more. Just seeing the picture of the dildo on the side of the box has his dick plumping up.

He doesn't know it, he’s too busy staring down at all the new items, but you notice his fidgeting and reactions; the pink of his cheeks and the increased frequency of his tongue darting out to wet his lips. Even though you've only had one session of sexual activity together, you're pretty confident that you've correctly read his body language as rapidly growing arousal.

For a few moments longer, you continue to unpack the large box but pay no attention to it and only watch Yoongi's intent, wide gaze on the items. His obvious arousal is making your own heat up under your skin.

Suddenly, you quickly repack almost everything making Yoongi jerk with concern and make a questioning noise.

"We can look at it after I've fucked you," you declare when Yoongi's confused eyes find your own darkening ones.

Yoongi swallows thickly and nods dumbly in agreement.

"Do you want me to put anything on?" You ask, motioning to the lingerie that you have left out. Yoongi looks at it, mouth open and genuinely considers it, whether he wants to see the lingerie or get fucked more. "If it helps, I'm wearing a set I already had under this." You point to your outfit of a zipped-up hoodie and basketball shorts. Yoongi swallows again and nods slowly. "What?"

"I wanna see that."

"Okay." You giggle and toss the lingerie from the mattress into the box before picking the whole thing up and moving it to the floor out of the way. "I want to try the harness one today, it matches what I'm wearing." You grin excitedly while picking up the box containing the wet-look-style strappy harness.

"Matches?" Yoongi mutters. You hum in confirmation. "Fuck."

You peer up at him through your eyelashes and giggle, before pressing one knee onto the mattress and leaning closer to him.

"You're going to ruin me, aren't you?" He realises in a mumble.

"I'm certainly going to try," you reply, a little breathless at the thought. You place your empty hand on his thigh to squeeze a little making his breath hitch and legs jolt, before you lift your hand only to slap his inner thigh gently and dart forward to place a disproportionately sweet peck on his lips. "I want you as naked as you're comfortable with by the time I get back from the bathroom."

"O-Okay," he agrees easily. You grin, then lower for a more thorough kiss; one that lingers even when you're out of the room, taking the harness and smaller dildo with you to clean thoroughly. "Fuck," Yoongi exhales and takes a second to gather his wits before getting up to quickly remove all of his clothing except for his boxers; a brand new set of tiny black shorts that do nothing to hide that his dick is hard and trying to escape from the waistband.

Yoongi feels very vulnerable and exposed as he sits there on the bed in nervous wait. He crosses and uncrosses his arms over his chest self-consciously a few times before reaching out to pick up the rather large bottle of anal lube left on the bed.

It's while he's reading the bottle to give himself something to do after removing the packaging so that it can actually be used, that you return sans shorts and with the unpackaged dildo in your hand.

You pause at the doorway and stare at him causing him to put the bottle down so that he can fold his arms over his bare chest again. "Shit, sorry, sorry, fuck, I didn't mean to make you feel self-conscious," you apologise while rushing over. You carefully place the dildo upright on the side table beside the lube bottle before climbing up onto the bed and gently laying your hands over his arms. "You're just so beautiful, Yoongi, my brain short-circuited seeing you waiting for me on my bed like this. Like holy fucking shit, what kind of saint did I save in a past life to get Min fucking Yoongi waiting on my bed?"

"You don't need to be so dramatic," he huffs, though his cheeks are hot with his blush and he allows you to tug his arms to his sides.

"I'm not." He gives you a disbelieving expression. "I'm not! I swear! I'd never tell you empty words, Yoongi, you mean too much to me for me to ever even consider betraying your trust like that."

Your words are so genuine that Yoongi can't help but believe them and accept the truth, making his body warm further understanding that you genuinely think of him in such a way.

"Good," he decides with a shy little nod. "Did you get the harness on okay?"

You hum and nod, leaning up onto your knees in front of him and lifting your hands to the zipper of your jumper. "Wanna see?"

"Of course, I wanna-" He cuts off with a choke when you abruptly open the zipper revealing a glimpse of a crisscross of straps across the revealed skin of your torso. He doesn't even have it in him to curse under his breath when you remove the jumper to toss aside carelessly.

If all of his blood hadn't rushed south and left no brain power behind, Yoongi would see that you definitely aren't as confident as you have been acting; your hands twitch at your sides and your teeth gently clamp on your bottom lip.

But Yoongi is too hypnotised by your body wrapped in intricate lengths of black, wet-look material that make you look like the present of his wet dreams.

"So?" You ask what feels to you like at least ten minutes later when Yoongi still hasn't done anything but stare jaw dropped at you.

To your relief, your sudden voice snaps Yoongi back to reality and makes him drag his lust-darkened eyes up to yours.

Without a word, he gets up until he's on his knees mirroring you, before taking your face into his hands to kiss heavily. The little noise you can't prevent from escaping your mouth makes Yoongi groan deeply and lower one hand so that he can wrap his arm around your waist and pull you closer while he moves too until you're pressed together.

Feeling the smooth latex under his hand has Yoongi's dick twitching back to life where it's pressed between your bodies. It makes you giggle upon feeling it, before pressing your body forward just enough to make Yoongi groan at the pressure.

"I assume that's a good reaction?" You hum breathlessly when the kiss breaks, and you motion to yourself to show that you mean his reaction to how you look.

"You have no idea how sexy you are to me," Yoongi replies a little dumbly, making you giggle through your blush. "I'm really fucking glad you got this harness and ignored my hesitation on the wet look. I never knew I was into it until now."

"I have a wet-look dress," you inform. "And I'm going to wear it when we next all go out, just to wind you up."

"Please don't make me get hard in public, I'm an idol," he whines. "I can't be caught with a boner."

"Guess you better learn to control your dick then." You grin and nudge him back. "Lay down, I really wanna get my hands on your ass as soon as possible; I've been thinking about this non-stop for four days."

"You have?" Yoongi replies while doing as told and moving backwards until he's laid down in the centre of the bed with his head on the pillows. You hum in confirmation while taking the chance to rake your eyes over his body hungrily.

It makes Yoongi's body warm to see how much you like his body, even though he doesn't think it is anything special at all. "M-me too," He admits, causing you to look up at his face and smile softly at him. He smiles back shyly, before bravely reaching down to hook his thumbs into the waistband of his boxers.

Your eyes at once snap down to watch as he slowly pushes his underwear down until he has to lift his hips up to slide them over his ass and to his thighs, where you take over and carefully remove the cloth entirely from his body to drop to the floor beside the bed.

And then you look at him to take him in in his fully nude state. Your cheeks visibly warm and your mouth drops open just enough for your tongue to poke out and prod your bottom lip. "Can I suck your dick?" You ask bluntly, licking your lips again.

"Really?" You nod and shuffle closer until Yoongi has to spread his legs to allow you to kneel between them with your hands on his smooth thighs. "Y-yeah," he agrees, nodding quickly even if you're entirely enraptured by his erection so don't see his action.

Without hesitation, you lower down onto your left elbow and wrap one hand loosely around his erection just to hold it up and allow you to slide it into your mouth enthusiastically. Yoongi's hips instinctively kick up at the sudden, wet warmth and he curses, reaching out to slide his fingers into your hair. You make a happy sound around his length and wiggle your hips as you work him in your mouth, which draws Yoongi's attention to your ass where it's stuck up in the air and showing off your curves in the straps.

"Jesus, fuck," he grunts. "Fucking-fuck-look at you," he breathes out, eyes dragging over your body and down to where your lips are wrapped around his dick, eyes up on him. He swears again. "You need to stop or I'm going to cum," he warns.

You heed his warning and pull off with a soft laugh. "I was there for like ten seconds," you point out amusedly.

He shrugs and looks away embarrassed, only to look back with a gasp when you attach your mouth to his inner thigh to suck a bruise into. "Shit," he chokes, legs shaking a little.

Suddenly overcome with desperation, he reaches out to grab the lube and shove it against your shoulder.

"Hm, okay, baby," you agree while sitting up on your knees again so that you can take the bottle and pump some of the contents onto your fingers. "Do you want it like this or a different position?" You ask, putting the bottle aside on the mattress for when you need it again.

"This," he answers, grabbing a spare pillow to wiggle under his hips. "Wanna see you."

"Okay." Your smile is happy and you lean down over him to press your lips to his.

Yoongi lifts both hands to gently hold your face as you kiss slowly and deeply.

His breath hitches as your wet fingers touch his rim, though he doesn't stop kissing you. A little whimper leaves his throat as one finger slowly edges in. You make a curious sound at the much less resistance compared to the last time you had your fingers inside of Yoongi yet say nothing and add a second.

"Did you already finger yourself?" You ask, unable to stop yourself when you can already add a third.

"Y-yeah," he confirms. "Is that okay? Are you upset?"

"I mean, usually I would definitely like to prep you myself; your ass is the eighth wonder of the world-" He rolls his eyes, making you laugh. "But I honestly think it's best to not get me that turned on today so that I can have at least some self-control when fucking you for the first time."

"Fingering me turns you on?" You nod. "Oh, I didn't realise, you seemed normal last time."

"I wanted to focus on you too much to pay attention to it. But after, jeez, I had to watch a very dry show to calm myself back down," you snigger with amusement at the memory.

"M'sorry."

You frown confusedly down at him and remove your fingers from his ass. He's about to complain but notices you're reaching for the dildo so instead presses his lips together.

"For what?" You wonder.

"What?"

"You apologised. Why?"

"I fell asleep."

"Yeah?" Your head tilts down as you look at the harness so that you can attach the dildo properly.

"I didn't get you off." You laugh a little. "What?" He frowns. "Why's that funny?"

"All I wanted was to finger you, I didn't want you to do anything but cum yourself and you definitely did that so I was more than happy with your involvement, Yoon, there was nothing else I wanted from that experience."

"So, you didn't want to cum?" He looks at you disbelievingly until you lift your head having successfully attached the toy after a little fiddling.

"It wasn't the plan, no."

"But did you want to?"

"I mean, I haven't been that turned on in a long time, well until now. But if I wanted to cum, I could've gone and taken care of it while you were asleep. Just because I made you cum, it doesn't mean you owe me one, that's not how this works, Yoon."

"I know," he mumbles, running his hands down your body to finger the harness until he locates the dildo and can wrap his hand around it and tug, forcing you to get closer between his spread-wide thighs. "But I want to. Wanna make you feel good."

"You do, trust me, you do," you assure, before pressing a sweet, short kiss to his lips. "Can I fuck you now?"

"Definitely." He nods, eyes wide with anticipation.

With excitement in your eyes, you reach down to knock Yoongi's hand from the dildo so that you can apply more than enough lube. Yoongi is staring at you questioningly when you look back up at him.

"What? I like it messy," you giggle shyly, and look back down so that you can watch as you guide the toy to Yoongi's awaiting hole.

"You do?" You nod. "Me too." You grin brightly up at him, happy at the shared interest, before slowly pushing your hips forward. Yoongi's eyes widen a little and his lips part as he's breached by the toy.

"Okay?" You worry.

"Yeah, keep going," he confirms, looping his fingers into the straps over your hips to pull you towards him at a speed quicker than you would've moved yourself, but if anyone knows Yoongi's limits, it's Yoongi himself, so you let him.

In no time at all, your hips are pressed flush to him and he's breathing a little heavier at being full.

"Fuck me, come on, fuck me," he breathes out encouragingly, removing his fingers from the straps to give you control back and instead press his palms to your waist.

"Okay, baby," you hum and press a kiss to his chest, before leaning up onto your haunches and use your hands to press Yoongi's thighs open further.

Yoongi swallows thickly and knows he will never come back from this the same and you haven't even moved yet. And then you do, slowly dragging back before shoving forward and knocking a moan from Yoongi that he wasn't aware he could produce. You smirk at him before tightening your hold and repeating the action.

"F-fuck," he stammers, gripping the bedding beneath him in an attempt to ground himself. You've only thrust twice and he's already leaking on his stomach.

"Okay?" He nods madly. "Hm, let's get that better." The look on your face is a little dark and very determined, and Yoongi keens before you've even pulled back out.

This time, you adjust your position a little to get yourself better leverage to essentially pull back, and then pound into Yoongi while simultaneously rolling your hips and causing Yoongi's back to arch and his eyes to roll back. He's not going to last at all.

It's not even a minute of the unbelievably good fucking later that Yoongi wraps a shaking hand around his cock to tug at it desperately for only a few seconds before his body pulls tight and he comes all over his torso.

You watch the whole ordeal with hooded eyes and an open mouth as you pant from exertion and arousal. Not knowing if Yoongi gets overstimulated quickly and not wanting to hurt him, you quickly slow your movements and stop when his hand falls from his cock.

While Yoongi lays there breathing heavily with his chest heaving and eyes closed, you pull out and remove the dripping toy from the harness.

Without a word, you get up and move to the bathroom to rinse off the toy and leave it on the counter to wash properly later, and then you grab a washcloth to dampen it and return to Yoongi. He blinks his eyes open when you clamber back onto the bed and start to clean him up.

By the time you've finished cleaning his chest and ass up, Yoongi's breathing is back to normal and he's watching you, looking more satisfied than you've ever seen him.

"Hey." You smile as you settle beside him, washcloth on the side table behind you. He purses his lips at you, so you lean forward to kiss him slowly. When you pull back, you remain on your side propped up with your head on your left hand. "How you feeling? I didn't go too hard, did I?"

"I'm pretty sure how quick I came answers that," he huffs, pouting at the ceiling. "Swear I'm not usually that quick."

"It was hot, I don't mind the time frame," you reply honestly, and lean down to kiss his shoulder. "I knew you'd look good coming on yourself," you hum against his skin. "Wish I had photographic memory so I never forget a moment of that sight."

"Shut up."

"I'm being serious!" You lift up and pout at him. "I'm sad that I won't forever remember it that well."

"Well...it's not like that's the only chance you'll get to see it." He shrugs, turning onto his right side to face you, so you lower to lay down too. "I can't get over how good you are at these sexual things you've never done before."

"I'm naturally gifted."

Yoongi chuckles and nods. "Yeah, you are. I'm both scared and excited to see how much better you'll get with practice. You're going to own my ass in no time, I won't be able to fuck anyone else because they won't be as good as you. Fucking Pavlov me."

"Don't think that's the right term but I'll take it." He doesn't respond and instead shuffles closer to kiss you.

Yoongi's left hand travels down to hold onto one of the strips of material over your ribs. "How hard is this to get off?"

"A lot." He groans. "Why?"

"Wanna eat you out." Your eyes blow wide in shock. "I can't tell what that look means."

"No one's said that to me before," you admit softly.

"What?" Yoongi's frown is beyond offended. "How could no one say that to you?" He huffs and leans up while nudging you onto your back. You go willingly with a shrug. "Well, I really want to. Can I?" You nod and reach down to unclasp the buckles of the harness. Yoongi shuffles down the bed so that he can pull it off your legs once you've opened it. "How do we-" he cuts off when he looks up and realises that the straps of the lingerie have been designed to leave your crotch entirely bare. "Fuck."

Immediately, Yoongi lowers down onto his stomach between your thighs and presses them wider to stare at where you're glistening with arousal.

"How is all of you so fucking perfect?" Even though it's a question, he's really talking to himself, his voice low and thick with arousal.

Yet even if he is talking to you and expects a response, you wouldn't be able to form one, your voice is stuck in your throat with nerves.

"Tell me if I do something you don't like, okay?" He speaks, leaning up enough to make eye contact with you. You just nod, cheeks flushed pink and your bottom lip sucked nervously between your teeth. Yoongi shoots you a gentle smile, then lowers to press a soft kiss to your hip.

You watch intently as Yoongi trails soft kisses across your skin and over the shiny fabric digging slightly into your thigh due to your legs being spread by Yoongi's hands. He stops at your inner thigh in between two straps, seemingly entranced by the little bulge caused by the material.

As if he doesn't have any control, Yoongi opens his mouth a little wider and clamps down making you gasp. The noise brings him back to reality and he almost pulls off but as he's releasing his jaw, your gasp fully registers and he realises that it wasn't a bad gasp at all.

Instead of continuing to open his jaw, he closes it further and fights down his own groan feeling his teeth press into the giving flesh before he sucks a little harsher than he normally starts off, yet you whimper and your left hand flutters atop his head in a way that feels as if you want to grasp but aren't brave enough. So, Yoongi sucks harder, borderline painfully, and is rewarded with fingers in his hair and grasping securely, encouragingly.

Yoongi suckles the spot for a moment longer before pulling off with a pop.

You both eye the bright red mark and admire the indents left by his teeth before Yoongi suddenly darts down again.

You had expected him to attach to the mirrored spot on your other thigh but he shocks you by suctioning to the soft, smooth flesh over your pubic bone, so close to your clit that it makes it tingle.

You're so caught off guard that the moan of pleasure escapes your mouth before you can stop it. You loosen your right hand from the sheets with every intention of lifting it to cover your mouth in embarrassment; it was too loud of a noise for such a small act in your mind.

It seems that Yoongi knows you too well though, despite never having done anything like this together before, as his left hand quickly darts up and grabs your wrist causing you to fall still.

You blink down at him and find his dark eyes on you warningly. Your arm twitches upwards and his grip tightens even as his mouth neither moves to detach or do anything more.

Yoongi's eyes square a little; a silent command, and although you don't really listen to anyone usually regardless of circumstance, you nod obediently and relax your arm. Yoongi's gaze relaxes and he directs your hand to your own thigh just so that he can link your fingers together while also allowing him to still keep pressure on your thighs to have them remain open for him.

Really, Yoongi would've loved to take advantage of the fact that you're the first person to seem to like the rougher biting his gums always ache for, but he was determined to give you the best head you'll ever have before his oral fixation kicked in, and now he's reminded of that upon seeing the way you actually submitted to him, even a little.

He decides that you definitely deserve a reward for that alone.

Only a little reluctantly, Yoongi slowly releases his suction and pulls back just enough to allow the sight of the forming bruise to shoot a lick of arousal into his stomach, before he lowers even further to softly trail his tongue up your folds, carefully avoiding your hole and clit not wanting to jump in too fast for you on your first time receiving oral.

A fact that honestly makes him kind of angry; how could no one have offered to go down on you? It's vile and selfish in his mind, and he wants to give you the best experience he possibly can.

You don't make any noise in response, so he doesn't know if you like it, but at the very least, you don't try to remove either of you from the situation, so you're willing to let him continue.

For a few minutes, Yoongi keeps his actions relatively soft everywhere he touches, yet he still doesn't gain much of a response from you. You're breathing a little heavier and he can see that your eyes are closed; you do look like you're enjoying yourself but you're quiet.

If he hadn't heard a moan moments before, he would assume that you're just quiet in general during sex, but he had and he wants more. You sounded so good that he honestly wants to record you to replay back when he's alone with a hand in his pants. Maybe you're just not that into oral.

Not wanting to be a letdown, Yoongi carefully tugs his hand free from your grasp and presses your own palm to your thigh. When he sees your fingers curve a little to hold your thigh, he smiles to himself and presses a finger to your hole lightly; a warning of what's to come. You don't pull away, so he slowly presses in, watching entranced as you swallow him up with no issue.

Feeling you ready to take another, he pulls out and adds another finger alongside the first and watches all the same as soft, wet heat envelops them both happily. Although there isn't much resistance per se due to how wet you are, there's definitely more pressure on his fingers, especially around his second knuckle. He looks up to watch your reaction as he pushes in, in case any sign of discomfort appears.

Your eyebrows furrow the tiniest amount, and your mouth drops open a little wider as a stuttered breath leaves. Your hips push down slightly, shyly almost, and all worry leaves Yoongi. You like it and want more.

So, he gives it to you, pushing his fingers in completely, only slightly faster than his original pace but you immediately react and suck in a breath.

Suddenly, it hits Yoongi that you had reacted so strongly enough to moan when he was being harsh and rough. You like the borderline pain and firmer actions, not the soft gentle touches he has been trying thinking it will be the best move for your first time.

With this revelation, Yoongi attaches his mouth directly to your clit and sucks while pulling his fingers out just to the second knuckle where they're widest and using that girth to stimulate your opening. Immediately, you gasp and moan breathily, tightening your fingers in his hair enough to make him moan around your clit.

The pace Yoongi takes up fucking his fingers into you is fast and just a level below hard considering he isn't left-handed and the angle isn't the easiest to navigate while he's toying endlessly with your clit with his mouth; teeth included making his own body sing with arousal.

He's definitely hard and leaking between the mattress and his stomach.

Yoongi can't believe how worked up he's getting so quickly. Sure, he always loves giving oral, especially if it means he also had his fingers in a wet, warm hole, but he never gets hard from it after already being fucked so well. But you react so well to his rough actions, and you seem to love the intensity of his oral fixation allowing him to really suction and bite as much as he wants.

Honestly, if he couldn't feel you tightening around his fingers and your hips shaking with the effort of keeping still, Yoongi would be certain that he's much more into the activity than you are. But your approaching orgasm is clear, especially with your frequent little moans growing closer together and higher in pitch. Though he does kind of wish you wouldn't control yourself like that, he kind of really most definitely wants you to fuck his face.

Maybe he'll have to ask you to sit on his face one day, and preferably very soon.

"Yoon," you warn with a gasp, eyes flying open to stare down at him, but his eyes are closed and focused, though he does squeeze your thigh a little to show that he heard and understands. You let your eyes close again and your head tips back as the pleasure teeters right on the edge.

One more run of Yoongi's teeth over your swollen clit sends you tumbling over, cursing as the orgasm shoots through your body quickly.

Usually, it'd be over as quick as that, but Yoongi hasn't stopped his movements; if anything, he seems more eager to lap around his fingers and fuck into you. He even curls his fingers up into that spot he's found but not yet focused on, to now zero in on it and apply an almost torturous amount of pleasure that's borderline painful with the orgasm barely even over.

"Oh, fuck," you whine, curling your fingers tight enough into your thigh that your short, blunt nails dig in sharply.

A second orgasm hits out of nowhere, and you gasp deeply, curving your back at the intensity and lose all control of your hips. Yoongi moans deeply as he's forced face-first into your pussy where he happily attaches his mouth to suck yet another bruise harshly.

As soon as you've mostly come down from the second orgasm to the point that you're mentally back on Earth, you tighten your grip in Yoongi's hair to tug him up while he makes a noise of complaint at being pulled away from eating you out, so that you can kiss him heavily, careless of your taste on his tongue and lower face that's glistening with your own arousal.

That at least stops his complaints and he quickly settles into the kiss, lowering down his top half, yet keeping his hips up so that his naked erection doesn't touch you. You realise what he's doing and hook your legs over his hips to tug him down, making him groan deeply as his erection slips against your slick skin.

"Can't believe you got me hard already," he grunts, lowering his head to kiss down your neck. You turn your head to give him better access. and when he starts to suck, you grind your hips up against him. "Fuck," he pants.

"Want you to fuck me," you admit a little breathlessly.

"Seriously?" You nod and whine a little while grinding harder and feeling his hard length rub firmly over your clit. "Shit, okay, condom?" You shake your head making him sigh. "Then-"

"I'm clean and got my tubes tied," you inform, turning your head to him when he pulls back to look down at you.

"Me too; clean and vasectomy," he mumbles in disbelief. Your eyes light up with excitement that reflects in his. "So, we're both free of transmittable diseases and infertile," he summarises.

"Which means you can fill me up and make a mess."

"Fuck."

With no reason to hesitate, or the will to, Yoongi reaches down to grip his erection and line up with your entrance. Your legs drop to the mattress to spread wide and Yoongi pushes in.

"Ah, fuck," you whimper as he pushes in, your eyes fluttering closed and hands gripping his sides.

"You okay?" You nod rapidly. "Doesn't hurt?"

"Feels good."

"Y-yeah," he agrees, lowering his gaze to watch as his cock fills your pussy and leaves his vision, buried snugly in your warmth. "Fuck, feel so good, baby." Your eyes blink open at the petname to look at him in surprise. "What?"

"Baby?"

He's genuinely puzzled for a second, before he recalls that he just called you that without thought and his cheeks warm with embarrassment. "Sorry, didn't realise."

"I'm not opposed, like at all, fucking love petnames," you admit easily, and lift your arms to wrap around his neck loosely while a mischievous glint appears in your eyes.

Before Yoongi can question what exactly that means, you rock your hips, making him suck in a sudden inhale and shudder at the unexpected friction on his cock.

You burst into laughter at his reaction and flop down onto the mattress. "Did you get possessed?"

"Shut up," he huffs while his cheeks burn with embarrassment. "You surprise attacked me."

"Surprise attacked," you cackle, your hands cupping your own cheeks and fingers pressing into where your cheeks bunch the highest.

Yoongi pouts at you, which only makes you giggle; a different kind of laugh, one more adoring for his cute expression, but it still isn't what he wants and he's feeling petty.

Without warning he pulls back his hips, then slams forward, punching a strangled gasp of pleasure from your mouth as your hands fly up to brace against the wooden poles of the ornate headboard. Yoongi smirks at your wide-eyed and open-mouthed expression, then reaches up to brace himself with one hand against the flat of the headboard while his other slides under your lower back until he can wrap his arm around you enough to hold your body still. And then, he wastes no more time and starts almost brutally fucking you.

It's intense and pleasurable in a way you're not used to; of course, you have been fucked hard before, but it was never like this. Not because people haven't tried but they simply can't pull the pleasure from your very soul like Yoongi seems to be doing.

Even if you want to, you wouldn't be able to stop the stream of pleasured sounds from leaving your open mouth, but you don't even want to; don't feel like hiding as you aren't the only one who seems unable to clamp their own vocals. Yoongi is just as loud as you are and it honestly only turns you on even more.

Usually, both you and Yoongi like to talk to your partners; check in and praise them, talk dirty and tease, yet neither of you has it in you to do it. You couldn't even talk if you try, not past the occasional swear or utter of the other's name or a petname.

Yoongi quickly takes up calling you princess and you have to admit, you really fucking like how it sounds from his lips. Others have tried to use the petname with you before but you could never take it seriously and tended to laugh or to fuck off, depending on the situation. Yet with Yoongi, it sends warmth to your chest that trickles into your stomach and lower to add to the quickly-growing impending orgasm.

Yoongi has no idea how he's keeping up the pace; his chest is heaving and his thighs are burning, and he's certain he's so close to getting a cramp in his left ass cheek somehow, but he can't give any mind to it; it's all on you and how fucking good you feel wrapped around his cock.

You keep sporadically squeezing him and he doesn't know if it's a sign of a nearing orgasm or just how you feel pleasure but either way, it feels beyond fucking words and he both never wants it to end and is chasing his orgasm desperately. He wants to fill you up and then watch his cum spill out from your pussy afterwards.

Fuck, maybe you'll even let him fuck it out of you, perhaps in the shower once he has his strength back after a much-needed nap.

When you remove one hand from the headboard and shove it down between your bodies to play with your clit roughly, Yoongi makes certain to keep his movement the same to not ruin your pleasure.

Watching you touch yourself all but shoves him headfirst over the edge and his hips jerk unintentionally as his orgasm hits, spilling cum into you with a few breathless moans of your name. Your breath hitches in response, before you're squeezing him tight, earning more pleasured curses to fall from his mouth as he feels your orgasm in the rhythmic tightening of your walls pulsating around his cock.

Slowly, you both fall still with closed eyes and heavy breathing as you ride out the aftershocks and last dregs of pleasure.

"Jesus fuck," Yoongi's the first to speak some minutes later when he finally has his head screwed on relatively straight and is only panting a little. You laugh at his comment, but it's definitely an agreeing sound.

Jesus fuck indeed.

"I'm not sure who is gonna Pavlov who here," you muse, reaching out to cup his face in both hands. "C'mere."

Yoongi goes willingly, lowering down and wincing a little as he feels his soft dick slipping out, but neither of you comment on it, you’re both too interested in kissing; happy and sated, and kind of lazy, but it's good.

When the kiss breaks, Yoongi clambers off of you and drops down at your side, sinking on his right side comfortably against the pillow and letting his body relax. "I need a nap," he mutters, earning an amused giggle while you turn onto your left side to face him. "Actually no, fuck a nap, need a coma."

"You're ridiculous."

"If you tell me you still have the energy to fuck, you're insane."

"I mean...give me like ten minutes to get a drink and yeah, I probably could."

"Fucking hell, you're going to kill me," he groans, turning his head into the pillow, but the noise isn't exactly one of argument.

"Good way to go though, right?" You grin, and he looks back at you with a chuckle.

"Definitely." He reaches out with a heavy arm to tug on the straps over your stomach. "C'mere, wanna spoon my princess."

"Are you trying to get fucked?" You comment, making him snort out a tired laugh. Instead of going to him, you roll out of bed making him whine and pout in complaint. "I'll be right back, I really do need a drink."

"Hurry," he mumbles, letting his eyes flutter close.

You hobble to the kitchen as quickly as you can so that you can gulp down as much cool water as possible without making yourself sick and then you refill your glass.

You're about to fill a glass for Yoongi too but considering how tired he is, you know he won't sit up even to drink if his mouth is dry. So, you find a bottle with a straw that you hope won't spill if on its side and fill that with cold water instead.

You return to your bedroom and place your glass down before tucking the bottle by Yoongi and guiding the straw into his open mouth. He's pretty much asleep but the touch wakes him, and although he doesn't know what's going on in his sleep-addled mind, when you tell him to drink and tap the straw on his lip, he wraps his lips around it to do as told and gropes around until he finds the bottle to hold steady without opening his eyes.

You take the chance to struggle your way out of the lingerie on your body and toss it aside to deal with later.

By the time you clamber back onto the bed, Yoongi's fallen asleep again, bottle still held and straw to his lips. You giggle amusedly and remove the item, making him snuffle awake again. Once the bottle is beside your glass, you shuffle down with your back to him and pull his arm over your waist.

Yoongi hums happily and shuffles closer until you're pressed together and his face is in your neck. He inhales deeply and tightens his arm around your waist, tucking his hand up by your chest, and that's when he suddenly realises that he can feel nothing but skin against his own. He jolts up a little onto his right elbow and peers blearily down at you. You watch his expression from over your shoulder; you see the fatigue slip away and his tongue wet his lips as he notices that for the first time, you're completely naked.

"You're naked," he mumbles, tracing his left hand over your waist and hip, watching the trail his touch takes. You just hum in confirmation and allow him to touch all the new skin he can see. "Beautiful," he sighs out, and then lowers back down to curl around your back.

You can feel his dick against your ass and it has definitely plumped up a little in the past moments, and, of course, you just have to tilt your hips back to brush your ass against it.

He nips your shoulder in retaliation, earning a giggle from you. "I'm too fucking tired right now, baby."

"I like cock warming." You pout, grinding back against him. "Don't you wanna be all snug as you sleep?"

"You're fucking ridiculous," he huffs, amusement in his tone, before pressing his hips forward against you. "Go on then, you get me hard, you can warm me as much as you want while we sleep."

"What if I can't sleep?" He makes a curious sound. "I usually can sleep no problem with a cock in me but something about you brings out the deviant in me so...what's your stance on somnophilia?"

"The fuck's that?"

"Sleep sex."

"You want to have sex while we sleep?"

"I'd be awake if I can't sleep, dumbass."

"Shut up, m'tired." He bites your shoulder a little harder this time, but that just makes you curve into him and press your ass harder against his gradually hardening dick. "Fuckin-" He inhales and purposely moves his mouth away from your skin so that he won't give in to temptation again; he's pretty sure if he does bite you again, you'll definitely wind up going for another intense round and he's certain he cannot physically handle that until he wakes up again. He's never been so exhausted from sex alone.

"So?" You prompt when he stays quiet behind you. "I'm personally into it either way."

"Mm, I dunno, just go to sleep for now, baby."

"Okay, Yoonie," you agree and pull your hips away from him, giving his dick space to breathe and soften without your touch. Yoongi hums appreciatively and curls his arm back around your waist, though makes sure to keep his hand away from your chest; he knows that if he feels your breasts he will not be able to get to sleep until he has sufficiently played with them.

When you're almost asleep, Yoongi speaks up in a low rough tone, close to sleep himself. "If you wake up and I'm hard, do what you want."

"Yeah?"

"Mm, just try not to wake me."

"Okay.” You smile to yourself and snuggle in close, smiling a little more at the kiss that gets pressed to your head.

To your absolute joy, when you wake a little under an hour later, you and Yoongi are pressed so close together that his dick has hardened in his sleep.

You grin to yourself, and although you're barely awake, you know what you want. So, you painstakingly move into a better position so that when you reach behind yourself and carefully hold Yoongi's erection, you can guide it into yourself, making you sigh in happiness. You really do like being full.

You peer over your shoulder to make sure you haven't woken Yoongi, then shuffle again, sliding further onto his length until you're pressed tight up against him. You watch Yoongi's face contort and little huffs of breath escape his lips from the pleasure, but he doesn't wake, so you settle back down and are soon back asleep.

You aren't surprised to have a sex dream, though you are surprised by just how vivid it is. You've had similar kinds of dreams before where you're actively seeking pleasure in a lucid-dreaming kind of way, but you usually wake up before achieving your orgasm goal. But this time, you wake up with the force of the dream orgasm that turns out to be real.

"Fuck," Yoongi curses roughly behind you, one hand on your hip as he rocks into you.

"Yoonie?" You mumble sleepily while looking over at him, cheeks warm with the pleasure but eyes barely open.

"Hi princess," he greets with a smile tilting towards a smirk. You whine and push back against him. "You want more?" He asks, his own cheeks slightly pinkened from fucking you as you slept without moving your position to not wake you.

You nod and reach down to move his left hand from your hip and place it on your sternum instead.

"Alright, whatever my princess wants," he agrees, leaning forward to press a kiss to your jaw while moving his hand to cup your left breast. "Didn't know your tits are so big," he comments lowly as he returns to rocking into you slow and deep. "Hide 'em so well."

"H-have to, get looks oth-" Yoongi hits a real good spot with that thrust, making you cut off with a whine as your eyes roll back. "Yoon," you plead.

"Alright, fuck." He shuffles closer and lays his palm flat on the top of your chest to hold you back against him before rabbiting into you while barely pulling out, meaning he keeps hitting that same spot rapidly making you whine and writhe and gasp out his name. "Good girl."

The tingle in his teeth returns as he stares at the mostly faded teeth marks on your shoulder from before sleep. He knows those marks will be soon gone with no evidence, no bruise left behind and that doesn't sit well with him.

Yoongi leans down to attach his mouth harshly over the same spot. You jerk in response, and automatically his hand lifts to restrain you and wrap around your throat. You instantly fall still as your walls squeeze him tight.

Yoongi gasps against your shoulder and removes his hand, but you whine in serious complaint, locking your grasp on his arm. "Are you sure?" He asks as you lead his hand back to your throat. You nod madly. "Words, please, baby, I need verbal confirmation to do this. It's dangerous and-"

"Yes, yes, I want it, choke me, Yoongi, please," you plead, turning your head just enough that your wet gaze meets his and he can see the truth and desperation in your eyes. "Please?"

"Fuck, okay, kick me if it's too much or you need a break or change your mind or-"

"I won't." You sound so certain that Yoongi can only nod and curl his fingers to show that he's more than willing. There's practically no pressure to his touch yet you still gasp and slump against the pillow as your eyes flutter shut.

Yoongi licks his lips and takes a second to compose himself, before he applies a little pressure. Your mouth opens in a silent gasp but otherwise, you're practically boneless on the mattress, entirely trusting your vulnerability to him; submitting to him in a way nobody ever has before.

Yoongi growls a little and doesn't even have it in him to question himself there, before he returns to fucking you; rougher than before with longer strokes, yet still successfully pulling moans from your parted lips.

He waits a little before squeezing harder, hard enough to make breathing hard for you, but you fucking love it, clamping down tight on his cock and making no attempt to free yourself.

Yoongi's cock throbs and as much as he wants to keep going he knows he can't and removes the pressure to allow you to suck in some ragged breaths.

He takes the chance to readjust his position so that he can once again mouth at your skin and work on another mark, slowing his hips enough that he doesn't jostle your body as much. But that makes you whine in complaint.

If you can whine, you have enough breath is Yoongi's thought, and then he's constricting your airflow again and angling his hips to try and find that spot inside you again. When he finds it, you choke so he releases his pressure and focuses on once again battering that spot with short quick thrusts that make you moan endlessly through heaving for breath.

With his hand resting on your throat, your walls dripping and tight as hell around his cock, and his mouth suctioned to the crook of your neck, Yoongi is so fucking close to an orgasm. You're so fucking tight around him, tight like pre-orgasm tight, but he has no idea if you can orgasm without clitoral stimulation. He's vaguely concerned that he will cum while you suffer without your clit being touched, but he himself physically can't and you're too far gone to seem to register that it's something you can actually do.

Too close and desperate to stop, Yoongi decides he can make you cum once he has himself and once again tightens his hold on your throat. To his surprise, your back immediately curves and your pussy spasms around him as wetness suddenly increases, and he's hit with the possible fact that you just squirted with your orgasm.

Yoongi's orgasm hits him like a truck. He doesn't mean to bite down harder and doesn't even register the metallic taste on his tongue until the post-orgasm fuzz leaves his brain. He gasps in shocked horror and leans back, glad that he had moved his hand from your throat and not also choked you out in a non-sexy way in his mindlessness.

The bite mark is pretty vicious looking; bruised deeply from his sucking and ringed by tooth-shaped indents, all of which are bleeding a little. Luckily, none are particularly deep but still, he's horrified; partly by what he's done, and partly at the fact the sight sends arousal flitting teasingly through his body.

"Yoonie?" Your soft voice snaps him back to reality to find you blinking concernedly at him over your shoulder. "It's okay," you assure, reaching your left hand back to lay on his thigh and rub soothingly. "Really, don't look so scared, I'm not mad."

"I fucking bit you!" He squeaks. "You're bleeding!"

"Yes, I see," you muse, gaze dropping to his lips pointedly. He quickly rubs his hand over his mouth roughly to remove the blood. "I'm not new to bleeding during sex."

He opens his mouth to respond, once again planning to berate himself, but then he registers your words and blinks dumbly at you. "What?"

"I have experimented a lot, Yoon and not always with the best people to try potentially dangerous things with."

He sighs your name out worriedly. "Please don't tell me you've let someone hold a knife to your skin during sex. I know you joked about it before but I seriously thought it was just a joke."

"I haven't," you assure before grinning a little awkwardly. "Yet."

"I'm not letting you do knife play with some asshole, don't be ridiculous."

"You're not an asshole."

He blinks at you a few times. "Me?" You hum in confirmation. "You want me to put a knife to your skin?"

"I want to try it and you're the only person I trust like that." You shrug and turn your head back away, both because the angle is hurting your neck, and because you suddenly feel honestly kind of like a freak for even suggesting it. Knife play is no joke and something most people don't even know exists, and even fewer actually think is a good idea. "I'll forget about it, you seem scared enough just biting me hard enough to draw blood, it was stupid to suggest."

"Wait, wait, wait," he huffs, and shuffles backwards to create the space to turn you onto your back so that you can look at one another. "I don't want you to feel bad, that's not a look I see on you, stop it."

"It was stupid to suggest though." You frown. "I'm sorry-"

"No, stop, it-" He takes a breath, and then drops down onto his back beside you as he only then realises how much his right shoulder hurts. He reaches up to rub it, only for you to roll over and bat his hand away so that you can massage it yourself.

Yoongi watches your concentration for a few minutes with a fond smile, before he reaches out to tilt your face to him and leans up to gently kiss you. You hum, surprised but very pleased and kiss him back, leaning forward so that he can lower back onto the pillow and not hurt his neck.

When you pull apart, he keeps his hand on your cheek and strokes his thumb over your skin softly. "I was scared that I hurt you; I didn't mean to and it scared me how easily I could accidentally do serious damage if I'm not careful." You make a noise of understanding. "But I was also scared that I liked it." Your eyebrows lift in genuine surprise. "I saw what I had done and I fucking- I liked it, like it turned me on a little."

"Really?" He nods. Despite the conversation, the way your eyes light up with joy and excitement makes him chuckle fondly. "So would you consider knife play?"

"I... I think I can consider it, yeah," he confirms, earning a bright smile, followed by a very thorough kiss.

You can't say for sure what your future relationship with Yoongi holds, but you're real fucking excited to find out.