#so don't be shy I guess?

[ruiniel]

Hi there!

I'm a newbie in the tolkien works, I've finished off the hobbit and the lotr books but have no idea where to go next. I've looked at different websites about it but I haven't gotten any clear answers. There's like a million of these books and I feel so lost!

I figured that as a long time fan that you'd know the answers to this question if it's not too much of a bother.

Thanks in advance no pressure!

Augh, anon! This is one of the best things to ask of someone with a lifelong interest in this universe.

I WILL get back to you on this, but.

Was thinking (midnight brain) could we make it a group effort? It feels as though seeing different perspectives from other people in the fandom would be of help here, and since I do want this covered I'm calling on mutuals and followers in the Tolkien fandom.

Please if you deem, I do encourage people to add to this.

Let me try tagging (there are legit so many of us): @arofili @actual-bill-potts @eveningalchemist @goschatewabn @cuarthol @melestasflight @thelordofgifs @outofangband @thegreatstrongbow @potatoobsessed999 @hennethgalad @jamcake-muses @i-did-not-mean-to @glorf1ndel @z-h-i-e @verecunda @naryaflame @mirkwood-hr-department @saurons-pr-department @welcomingdisaster @hirazuki @nuredhel @effervescentdragon @searchingforserendipity25 @cilil @hhimring @chrissystriped @yuzukimist @edensrose @awesome-bluehair-universe @swanmaids @herinke @celebbun @auntieaugury @auroramama @puelhathnofury @kiatheinsomniac @eilinelsghost @asianbutnotjapanese @i-gwarth @batsyforyou @aprilertuileviresse @fishing4stars @elamarth-calmagol @zeladanial @silmarillionwritersguild @silmarillionno @solmarillion @samarqqand @sallysavestheday+ anyone else and ALL the Tolkien visual artists who see this and I forgot to mention (love you all, so many) if you have the inclination to add your journey/experience/recommendations? Anything, we have a good topic here.

[somegrumpynerd]

-Okay but some of the fears that Color has are in fact the same fears that Nightmare has when it comes to Killer.

Like, Color is worried that Killer's so blindly loyal to Nightmare for whatever reason that he wouldn't even think of complaining if he hated it. And at the start that was something Nightmare probably expected. His henchmen should be loyal and obedient and not ask questions nor complain. But now, after years of learning and bonding and softening up significantly he wonders sometimes if that's still the case.

Nightmare knows Killer well, perhaps better than most, but he's not exactly an open book. Especially when it comes to his own wants or needs. More often than not when he makes a request it's intentionally silly or unreasonable for laughs, like asking if they can take Dust to the nearest pet store and try to trade him in. Very rarely does he want something strong enough to make it known, both to himself and others, like asking to keep the first cat he found.

So.

If he hated this. If he truly struggled and fought and agonised with himself about the position he's in and the work he's doing and the life he leads.

Would he say it? Would he realise that was how he felt? Would he even consider saying no was an option?

If Nightmare asked him to do something he really genuinely did not want to, would he just do it anyway because he doesn't believe he has a choice in the matter?

The only way of finding out (besides making a blatantly difficult request of him, which Nightmare is not willing to do) is to simply wait and trust that Killer will tell him if something is wrong. Which... is not exactly foolproof or easy.

But it's part of why Nightmare hates to be around Color too much, because deep down he's more than a little worried that Color could be right and he doesn't know how to fix it.

[bi-writes]

i need to stop comparing myself to the other wonderful writers here but damn is it so hard.

[hammerhead-jpg]

I know I already posted this drawing once before but it bothered my SOUL because imo the rendering is so nice like I cooked so hard w it but their faces looked so fucking weird to me and I just needed to fix it up a little (also my Will design changed a bit)

Og under the cut....(Jumpscare warning)⬇️

I can't describe the relief I feel now that I can appreciate the top tier rendering that I did without feeling horror at looking like their faces

Like Nico WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?? he is directly behind you idc how far you turn your eyeballs you are not going to be able to see him!!!

[pseudophan]

unironically your trigger warning tags were like a follow forever to me since my Main method of following new blogs is the peer-reviewed "people I follow follow them" but you never reblog from anyone 😭

oh yeah everyone in that screenshot is great! and you're right i really do not reblog enough people 😭 i still don't follow enough phannies... i'm still scared of following people in case they hate me bsdfbskd especially because if people block this blog they're not blocking my main so i can still follow people even if they've got pseudophan blocked so i'm like yikes oh god. i really do want to follow more phannies though

that being said i don't reblog a lot of people in general cause i'm not on my dash all that much but when i am most of it isn't phannies and when it is it's the same like five people. idk how to fix this. i feel like asking people to ask me to follow them is kinda cringe, though i have done that in the past for this same reason lmao, but... idk IDK life is very hard lol

[suusoh]

gonna b slightly honest here. but i've been losing my writing flow lately because of how terribly shy i've gotten..... which, is really ironic and no bueno for a blog that's built and thrived on being shameless at the start 💀

[affluent-havoc]

Okay here me out! I've had this idea cooking in my head for a while and it's taking me way too long but I'm finally doing it! Or, well... explaining it hehe! Basically, Makoto's Kirk, Byakuya's McCoy, and Kyoko's Spock. Also, had some other ideas too such as Aoi being Uhura, maybe Chihiro as Chekov though a part of my brain also thought of Komaru being in that role but that's cus I was initially thinking the other supporting cast being the survivors of the first game. The others though are like Taka as Sulu, Toko as Christine Chapel which fuck I did NOT notice the pun there. Also, I had the thought of maaaybe Leon being Scotty but that's mostly because Red hair -> Red shirt. That's it. Though for the guy who didn't last long in the canon, at least he's immune to the red shirt curse by being a main character!! ALSO, Junko as Khan. It's great and the thought of Makoto screaming Junko's name in anguish is too good to pass up! As for some thoughts on the main trio, for Makoto, it's obvious why I made him Kirk. Main man privilege. Also, any of you folks who enjoy the Makoto Harem shenanigans will especially enjoy this cus Kirk is just always around ladies so at least there's that. Not that he'd be Kirking it up. It's still Makoto after all! But still! Meanwhile, for the other two, I feel Byakuya as McCoy and Kyoko as Spock are great fits. Kyoko's known for being kinda cold and seemingly emotionless and having her arc of learning to trust people. I can just SEE the parallels of her and Spock, the balance of the analytical side of the Vulcan and the emotional side of the human. And, while it would be funny to give Byakuya the permanent pointy Spock brows, the guy's too sassy and petty to fully be a Spock. Thus, he's McCoy! He gets to bother the shit outta Kyoko in the bridge too while she dunks on him every time. Some other miscellaneous bits are that yes, Byakuya is hanging out with Toko in the med bay cus I found it funny to have him with her there. Who knows! Maybe Syo's knack with scissors can come in handy in the medical field, just like, minus the murder. Also, yes this means that Makoto is kissing Aoi at some point, that Taka is running around shirtless with a sword cus sci-fi shenanigans and that Makoto and Kyoko get to roll around in the sand as she almost tries to fucking kill him cus Amok Time being amoking and Pon Farr be like that. Also this means Makoto gets his tiddies exposed. That is if the Star Trek canon is heavily followed and all but it's just something to imagine. Plus, typing that just out there is funny to me. Don't think I have the expertise to make this an AU of my own though, probably just make silly drawings. Despite growing up with Star Trek as a kid, I was an idiot that processed none of it, only really remembering the tribbles, Kirk making a billion dramatic speeches I never understood, Spock kinda floating in space with Kirk being worried or something. Aso the movie where Spock fucking died and that other one where he hung out with some whales which is such a goofy way of describing it all. And like, I have NOOO clue what the overlap between a Danganronpa fan and a freaking Star Trek fan is. Like, I'm kinda the case study but also I have no clue at all!

[crmsndragonwngss]

Panorama Daydream Ghost Atlas

[shartfinz]

I don't think Luigi would have ever had any of his own friends for like most of his life because he is a yapper

[yoinkschief]

cutie pie,,,,,

[coconi]

Beep-boop! I'm hosting a MEP again, this time with a specific theme. Come join us and help spread the word! ╰(*°▽°*)╯ All info in video description.

[weirfq1]

with all these gaston crackships/rarepairs that are coming out lately it would be so fucking funny if he had a flig with all the main characters (ambar, nina, simon... hell luna too if you want) and they all know it except matteo

[hoperays-song]

Salukis and Personalities

I don't know if I've ever mention this before, but I worked as a dog trainer and caretaker for years. Like a really long time. And I have worked with a lot, and I mean a lot, of dogs. Even in fact, three Salukis (Ezra, Bailey, and Leo).

Why do I bring this up? Because we should talk about the personalities of these dogs, especially in relation to a character in Sing, Suki Lane.

Now this is all clearly going to be based on my experiences with these dogs, who could be outliers for all I know. However, after chatting with several Saluki owners as well, I'm pretty sure I got a decent grasp on them. Namely one thing,

Saluki's aren't timid.

They are classic sighthounds, yes, but I wouldn't call most of those dogs timid, with the exception of Whippets. Sighthounds by nature are cautious breeds, it can take a while to build their trust. This can extend into them being shy at times yes, but in my experience, it was more like meeting a new cat for the first time. It doesn't know what to think of you yet so it sits back, watches, and then makes it's judgement.

Why does that sound familiar? Oh yeah!

Because that's what Suki was doing to the troupe throughout the second movie. She didn't make her decision on them until she had been watching them for awhile, deciding to ultimately side with them after deeming them trustworthy.

That's what happened when she saved Buster from the office and when she lowered the stage lift, she was making her judgment of them known. For me, one of the Salukis I worked with, Ezra, did essentially the same thing. He acted indifferent to me for a week or so and then seemingly out of nowhere decided we were cool now and I could play with him. And because Salukis aren't particularly demonstrative typically, that's huge.

So, she wasn't being timid, she was being cautious. Something her type of dogs are known for. She would wait and see how things turn out before picking a side. That makes sense. And no, there wasn't any big apology scene or anything like that because, again, Salukis aren't typically demonstrative.

And while they are cautious, that's not actually what the breed is known for. You know what is?

Being aloof.

And that is a word that perfectly sums up Suki's personality. She's aloof. She isn't particularly warm or friendly and neither are most Saluki's unless they like you, and like you a lot. Which also makes sense with her character! She's a higher up at a major entertainment enterprise. She can't be nice to every single hopeful that shows up at their doors. She has to be realistic for the company's sake. So she's aloof and it fits her perfectly.

Saluki's also are known to be quiet and intelligent. The quietness something that isn't extremely noticeable in Suki's character when Jimmy is in the scene since he's so loud, or Buster because his personality is so big, but it's definitely there. Her answers are brief and straight to the point. And other than those few interactions, she doesn't talk much. She doesn't need to, as she is still perfectly filling her role in the scenes she's in through expressions. She might be a verbally quiet character, but like actual Salukis, her actions speak for her.

And the intelligence? We know this girl is smart. She's in her early to mid twenties and is already one of the right hands of an entertainment empire's CEO. She knows what she's doing. Suki was also able to call the police and betray Jimmy without him ever expecting it, which she had to have planned out for it to go that smoothly.

So in short, Suki and Salukis as a whole, aren't timid. They're cautious. They wait things out. And most notably, they are known to be aloof. A character trait that perfectly sums up Suki's personality that we see. Salukis from my experience act more like the stereotypical cat stuffed into a dog's body. It takes time for them to like you and even if they do, they aren't usually demonstrative of this fact. Which again lines up perfectly with Suki's character, much like the other traits Salukis are known to exhibit.

She's aloof and cautious, showing clear intelligence, but definitely not timid.

[soft-serve-soymilk]

Someone needs to convince me to join the streams on the uni gaming club discord server, so i can make friends as intended!! Except people always meet at night and getting noisy would absolutely annoy the crap out of my dad T-T

[subsequentibis]

head in hands. well i might be slightly altering john's appearance. for gay freak reasons

[theflyingfeeling]

Fourtheenth Day of Gift-Giving: Fun Adventures

Prompt: A group project in school brings some unusual friends together

Yes, it's a high school AU, somewhat inspired by / based off this fic idea I had a while ago! I've never written a high scool AU before so pls be nice, also I've taken some liberties with the prompt again, because there's no group project per se, they're simply in the same chemistry class 😌

Banner made by @kraeuterhexchen again, thanks for suffering for me a bit I love youuuu <3

~

Aleksi muffled his third yawn in a row on his palms. Every single week at this exact time he regretted his promise to his father that he’d take at least four optional courses this school year on top of all the compulsory ones in exchange for a language course in Amsterdam next June. The tragedy was that his schedule was already so full with the compulsory courses alone that he could barely find gaps to fill with anything else at more humane times than at eight o’clock on a Monday morning, which was when his additional chemistry class was held. It didn’t help that none of his friends or acquaintances were taking the same class; Aleksi envied them for their superior life choices.

Chemistry could be alright at best, but in general it wasn’t among his favourite subjects. Rather than reaction equations, Aleksi was much more fascinated by the only other guy in the group he knew by name, who, by the happy coincidence of the two of them both being late to class on the first day, ended up being his lab partner. He didn’t know Olli because they were buddies, quite the contrary, in fact; one of Olli’s friends was still bitter about Aleksi standing him up regarding a music project (which had been but a case of bad communication, of which Aleksi was deeply ashamed, even though in the eyes of his own friends it had been ‘such a big-dick move to put that cocky emo loser back in his place lol’), so Aleksi wasn’t exactly surprised that Olli never replied to his sleepy greeting on Monday mornings. Thinking back to it, Aleksi couldn’t recall the boy saying anything at all during the chemistry classes, so that by now he would’ve started suspecting Olli was mute, if it wasn’t for the times he had seen Olli laugh and joke about with his friends at recess. From the little Aleksi had heard when he had passed by the group in the school corridors, Olli had a soft, quiet voice, often blending under the much louder ones of his friends, which was why Aleksi had set making Olli speak to him as his main ambition for the course, rather than getting a high mark.

“Morning,” he said to Olli like he did every Monday, and like every Monday, Olli barely glanced his way. What made this Monday different from all the other Mondays was that Aleksi could’ve sworn he had seen Olli nod at him this time, sort of in a blink-and-you-miss-it kind of way, although it may as well have been just his tired brain making things up. Nevertheless, it gave Aleksi the spark of hope that had him sit up straight, ready to converse Olli’s ears off in case he finally happened to be in the mood, but before he could open his mouth to ask Olli about his weekend, the teacher started the lesson by shoving hand-outs on their tables.

That day, however, Aleksi was determined to succeed in his plan at long last, even if he had to get a little creative.

While Olli was concentrating on keeping his eyes open as the teacher explained the theory behind the day’s experiments, Aleksi picked up his pencil and wrote on the corner of Olli’s hand-out:

Hi! :)

The anticipation nearly had him tremble as he waited for Olli to react in any way; for the longest time, bordering Aleksi’s patience, Olli did nothing but stare at the letters Aleksi had scribbled. He still didn’t look at him, still didn’t say anything or – god forbid – smile; he just blinked at the single word that had appeared in the corner of his paper.

Then, after a million years in Aleksi’s experience, he grabbed his own pencil.

hi

Those two letters alone made Aleksi feel like a winner already.

How are you?

Still keeping his eyes firmly on the paper, Olli seemed to be pondering his answer for a while.

good

Aleksi wondered if Olli was as terse speaking up as he was in writing.

Great to hear! I’m doing good as well :) Do you have a long day on Mondays?

Exactly like a moment earlier, Olli did nothing but stare at their brief written conversation. Aleksi wanted to believe that Olli was just about to write his answer but was ruthlessly interrupted by the teacher ordering them to walk over and look closer as she’d perform an example experiment for them to later mimic.

They didn’t get a chance to continue their little chat later on in the lesson, and they never spoke during the practical experiments they were asked to do – or rather, Olli never spoke, despite Aleksi’s best efforts to at least have him answer some simple yes-or-no questions, such as ‘do you want to try first?’ or ‘can you pass the pipette?’ or ‘oh fuck, do you think we should tell the teacher?’ when their experiments sometimes failed unexpectedly. The best Aleksi had gotten out of Olli was a suppressed snort when the other day Aleksi had accidentally spilled some red colour additive on his brand-new Off-White t-shirt.

“Quit laughing, or I’ll tell everyone it’s your blood,” he had said in hopes of making Olli properly giggle, but it had seemed to have the opposite effect, for Olli hadn’t let out a single sound for the rest of class after that. Later, Aleksi had wondered if it had been because Olli was scared Aleksi actually might, and to prevent his friends from getting wind of them being lab partners – because clearly he was that opposed to the idea of being associated with Aleksi – he had firmly kept his lips sealed for the rest of the class and all the ones that followed it.

This day, someone must have put something in Olli’s breakfast porridge, however, because when the class was dismissed, Olli spoke in his low, quiet voice, not even directly at Aleksi, but more to his general direction, so that Aleksi knew the words were addressed to him.

“See ya.”

“Yeah, see ya!” Aleksi replied, perhaps a little too eagerly, rolling his eyes in frustration when Olli hurried out of the classroom.

It wasn’t much, but it was a start.

~*~

The next Monday, Aleksi decided to go past formalities and straight to the point to get Olli to interact with him.

Had a nice wknd? :) 

Aleksi was most definitely too optimistic for his own good, but he had a feeling Olli didn’t take half as long to answer this time, even though his reply remained brief.

yup

Literally on the edge of his seat, Aleksi waited for Olli to elaborate on his reportedly ‘nice weekend’ – in vain. He rolled his eyes and picked up his pencil again.

What did you get up to?

Olli flipped pencil in his fingers like one would do with a drumstic, clumsily, almost dropping it on his desk. Aleksi saw an attractive blush slowly spread on Olli’s cheeks and hoped it wouldn’t discourage Olli away from the budding conversation. 

At last, Aleksi’s patient waiting was rewarded.

went to see a gig

Aleksi clenched his pencil into his fist out of sheer excitement. If there was a topic Aleksi could’ve chatted about for hours on end, it was music, his first and (so far) only love. He knew Olli played in a band and was sure that if he only could somehow make Olli lower his walls for him, they might actually find a lot to whisper about to pass the time a bit more merrily on Monday mornings.

So cool! Who did you see?

Olli didn’t keep him waiting for long, which Aleksi decided to take as a sign of Olli also being keen on their current conversation topic.

If only Aleksi knew how to help Olli get out of his shell a little more.

a friend’s band

Aleksi nodded, careful not to appear too enthusiastic or intrusive to scare Olli off, now that he had gotten him to write more than one word at a time.

Any good?

The teacher was just about to have the class gathered around her table again, so instead of a thorough review of the music show, Olli only jotted down a wonky yup in response before hurrying to the front of the classroom. During the whole rest of the class, Aleksi was not given another chance to fish more out of Olli’s weekend.

Well, he sighed to himself, standing up to join his coursemates, another Monday, then. 

~*~

Later that day, sort of by coincidence (of having purposefully lingered around the music classroom on the pretext of asking the music teacher about an upcoming extra credit class), Aleksi learnt Olli’s band had a practice slot in the music classroom on Monday evenings. His plan was not to spy on Olli, but he figured he might as well use this newly-acquired information to squeeze a little more out of Olli in their next chemistry class.

Any plans after school?

Only when he noticed Olli freeze upon seeing the question on the margin of his notebook, Aleksi realised how it must sound like to him, so out of the blue.

Just curious btw :) 

Olli seemed to hesitate before answering.

band practice

Aleksi hid his smirk behind his palm.

Hook, line and sinker, he thought to himself, the pencil in his hand itching to write down all the follow-up questions he had prepared. By the end of the class, Aleksi congratulated himself, for his plan to have Olli blabber about their common interest had worked out splendidly: Aleksi had learnt, for example, that Olli had been playing the bass for seven years already and that their band was actually working on their first EP, which Aleksi was genuinely impressed by. What really had made Aleksi feel like he was on top of the world, however, was when he noticed the smallest hint of amusement on Olli’s face; he still hadn’t managed to lure Olli to look him in the eye, but he had made him smile, which was perhaps even better.

The rest of the week Aleksi spent barely paying attention to what his friends were talking or laughing about in between classes, too busy searching for his chemistry class conversation buddy with his eyes. He did so every day, even though he was convinced the principal granting him the rest of the semester off with no consequences was more likely than catching Olli looking at him.

That was, until he did.

It was only a fleeting moment in time as they passed each other in the canteen and over before Aleksi’s heart could settle back to its place from his throat where it had jumped up to. He couldn’t tell since when his lab partner looking his way had started rousing this kind of reaction in him; then again, Olli had never really glanced his way before, so how could he have known?

Maybe that was also why Aleksi hadn’t noticed the shade of Olli’s irises until now. They were dark grey, he could tell, serious but not cold by any means. He couldn’t wait to take a closer look at them the next time he was given the chance.

Perhaps it was time for Aleksi to change his tactics.

~*~

“Hi Olli,” Aleksi said as soon as Olli walked up to his desk the next Monday. As if surprised to hear his name spoken out loud, Olli looked up at him, and Aleksi was granted another glimpse of those mysterious eyes.

Olli didn’t let him rejoice for too long, though, before turning his gaze to his desk as he sat down.

“Hi.”

And that was it: their first spoken conversation (in which Olli had also participated), despite Olli avoiding his gaze for the rest of the class, as was his right. Aleksi supposed. Even Aleksi himself was too giddy about the interaction to think of anything else to say.

It was almost ridiculous, if he was honest with himself. Yet, for the first time during the whole autumn semester, Aleksi was looking forward to the early Monday morning chemistry class.

~*~

Within the next couple of weeks, their conversations evolved from exchanging casual greetings (‘Hi Olli!’ ‘Hi…Aleksi’) to deep discussions about the current events in their lives (‘How’s it going?’ ‘Good.’ ‘Awesome’), which was equal parts exciting and frustrating to Aleksi. His heart would do the silly bouncing-up-to-his-throat thing whenever Olli blessed him with a quick glance of his dark eyes (Aleksi could swear they were a different shade every time he looked), but the moments only ever lasted for a second or two at a time. On the bright side, Olli would no longer rush out of the classroom to get out of having to perform any more small talk, but instead took his time putting his books and pencils back in his bag carefully, even if Aleksi never managed to open his mouth in time before Olli would make his inevitable escape. Aleksi suspected that it was, indeed, the newfound thrill of being graced with the occasional, fleeting look from Olli that rendered him speechless and caused him to miss his chance of getting to talk with Olli at least until they’d reach the classroom doorway. From there onwards they’d go their separate ways anyway, to their different worlds: Aleksi to one in which Olli was a moody emo kid with no sense of humour (or so Aleksi had been told by Isac who went to the same biology class with Olli), and Olli to one in which Aleksi was probably portrayed as a self-satisfied snob who once did his friend dirty.

The Monday after that, Olli never walked in through the classroom door, no matter how intensely Aleksi stared at it. When the days passed and Aleksi hadn’t caught a glimpse of the boy by Friday, he became worried, to the extent he considered walking up to Olli’s friend group to ask about him. He was almost certain that the one with the short platinum-blond hair might have actually told him, or at least he looked the least intimidating out of them all. One of them was almost two heads taller than Aleksi, so he saw it best to stay out of his way, although his smile – in those rare occasions he did smile – was anything but frightening. The one with the baggy clothes Aleksi had once heard rapping at a house party was tiny in comparison, but something about the angle of his eyebrows gave Aleksi the chills. Joel was obviously out of the question; Aleksi would probably never dare speak to him after The Incident. Joonas, on the other hand (Aleksi knew his name because he and Joel often squabbled loudly, with Joel shouting his name in bewilderment, his obvious affection for the boy poorly masked as annoyance), seemed like the kind of guy who would whisper you the right answer just in time before the teacher’s drill of a stare would bore a hole through your skull.

Taking a deep breath to brace himself, he watched as Olli’s friends were stepping in the Swedish classroom. As if on cue, Joonas was the last one about to walk through the door, and seeing his chance had come, Aleksi zoomed over and grabbed him by his sleeve.

“Hey,” he said once he had pulled Joonas aside, hidden from the disapproving looks of Joel and company.

“Huh?”

“Do you happen to know where Olli is?” Going straight to the point seemed like the best strategy to get anything out of Joonas, in case Aleksi had completely misjudged him and he was about to be punched in the face.

“He’s caught the cold. Why?” Knitting his brows and eyeing Aleksi up and down, Joonas seemed sceptical about Aleksi’s intentions, to say the least.

(It had Aleksi wondering if any of his own friends would act as protectively about him, but that was a matter of concern for another day entirely.)

“Ummmm… I have his chemistry homework for him.”

Aleksi could almost hear the cogwheels turning inside Joonas’ head until his expression brightened.

“Aaah… Right! Yeah, I suppose you would.” (Whatever Joonas meant by that.) “I’m gonna go over later today to see how he’s doing, so I can forward the message for you.”

“Oh, great! Thanks!” Aleksi said, as if he had any clue what they had actually been given as homework four days ago.

Ironically, Aleksi was saved by Joel calling for Joonas from inside the classroom.

“I’ll catch up with you later, alright?” Joonas winked at him, and then he was gone. 

Joonas never did catch up with him, however, and so Aleksi was saved from the embarrassment of admitting he hadn’t been following their chemistry lesson after all, more or less due to the disappointment of not seeing Olli after having spent the entire weekend planning what he’d say to him. Not knowing if Olli would be attending the upcoming Monday’s class either, the weekend went by slower than ever, which normal-Aleksi would’ve embraced; this new, strange, maybe-crushing-on-his-quiet-lab-partner-Aleksi was on pins and needles.

~*~

There it was again, that awful skip of his heart, when Aleksi saw Olli enter the classroom on Monday. So relieved he was that he had no means to tone down the excitement in his greeting.

“You’re here!”

Olli looked up at him but said nothing, his silence a pang to Aleksi’s chest. His joy upon their reunion changed into defeat in less than a second, and Aleksi felt like a right idiot for having thought Olli, too, might have been waiting to see him again.

Suddenly fascinated by the cover of his chemistry course book, Aleksi put his head down to hide his disappointment. He was already settled for staring at the abstract drawing for the next 75 minutes to avoid more heartbreak, but then a slip of paper appeared in front of him.

can’t speak doctor’s orders

On his face, Olli was wearing a kind, small smile. In that instant, Aleksi forgot what he had even been so saddened about. He flashed Olli a smile in return and started searching with his eyes for a pencil; he would’ve felt too weird talking to Olli out loud without him being able to answer. Tragically, it seemed that in anticipation of possibly seeing Olli again after so long, Aleksi had forgotten to pack his pencil case. Noticing this, Olli offered him his own, the same, tiny smile still on his lips.

Shame! You’re usually so talkative

He knew he was taking a risk poking fun at Olli’s quietness, but to his great relief, Olli’s smile widened and his shoulders twitched in a voiceless chuckle. Encouraged by this, Aleksi continued with an equally risky revelation.

I missed you in class last week

Having written down the words, Aleksi could barely look at Olli as he felt his cheeks heaten up. He let Olli take back his pencil from his fingers, as well as the paper slip from his desk.

Olli spent almost a minute writing down his reply, erasing and rewriting, until he finally passed the paper back to Aleksi, immediately directing his face to the opposite side of the classroom.

missed you too

Aleksi had never seen three words so pretty in his life.

~*~

What followed next was an entire week of unexpected encounters between the two lab partners, as if the universe was purposefully making them cross each other’s way to make up for the past seven days of not seeing each other. On Tuesday, their shoulders brushed walking past each other in a crowded corridor. On Wednesday, they were returning their trays at lunch at the exact same time and exchanged brief smiles. On Thursday, they almost ran into each other at the restroom door, which is when Aleksi learnt Olli had regained his voice, mumbling a small ‘oops’ after having bumped into Aleksi.

On Friday, at the last recess of the day, Olli’s friend Joonas grabbed Aleksi by his wrist and pulled him into an empty classroom.

“Wait here,” he ordered, and utterly confused as he was, Aleksi had no choice but to obey.

A moment later Joonas returned, pushing a red-cheeked Olli into the room before promptly leaping back to the corridor, closing the door behind him.

For one long, anxious moment, neither of them said anything, Aleksi because he was still too baffled by the latest turn of events to open his mouth, and Olli because he was… Olli.

“Ummmm…” Olli finally said, his voice a little hoarse, so he cleared his throat and tried again. “I just… ummm… there’s this… band… tomorrow…”

Aleksi had to bite his lip, both at how adorable Olli was, fumbling with his fingers as words fell out of his mouth one by one, as well as to keep himself from blurting out ‘yes’ before Olli even got around to asking him anything.

“And I was just… thinking if… ‘cuz I have an extra ticket… so… I thought maybe you–”

“Yeah!” To Aleksi’s turmoil, his tongue could sometimes be quicker than his brain. “I mean… what?” 

Behind the classroom door, someone clicked their tongue.

“Yeah, ummmm.” Olli scratched the back of his neck. “So yeah. Would you… like to come? To the show? On Saturday? With me? Maybe? I mean, of course you already have plans–”

“I don’t!” Aleksi hurried to say. “I can come. But… will your friends be coming too though?”

Olli shook his head. Aleksi decided not to dwell on what the evident horror in Olli’s eyes was a sign of. It might have been because he, too, thought it was a little too soon for Aleksi and Joel to make amends – or maybe he was just that terrified of being seen with Aleksi in public.

“No, they won’t. I mean, Joonas was supposed to, but he, ummmmmm, he’s going… ummmm…” Olli’s gaze wandered towards the door, as if for help.

“To my great-uncle’s funeral!” the door whispered at him.

“To his great-uncle’s funeral,” Olli confirmed.

“A-ha,” Aleksi nodded. “Sorry for your loss,” he said to the door.

“...Thanks,” the door replied. Holding back his laughter, Aleksi turned back to Olli who, for the first time since Joonas had urged them on the stage of their current scene, was looking at Aleksi, his round eyes expectant and hopeful for Aleksi’s final answer. Aleksi thought of taking a step closer to him, perhaps even gently touching his hand, but decided against it before his brain would command his limbs to make such reckless movements.

“Guess I’ll see you on Saturday at…?”

“At six. At Sandro’s.”

If Aleksi didn’t get a wink of sleep the following night, it wasn’t only because of excitement; the moment he laid his head on his pillow and closed his eyes, his mind was filled with pictures of a boy with twinkling eyes and a bashful smile, keeping him awake until he fell asleep to them.

~*~

Aleksi couldn’t bring himself to care if he looked a little dumb, smiling to himself and leaning his chin on his palm at eight o’clock the next Monday. Even the teacher announcing a pop quiz could not have washed away the dopey grin that had been painted on his lips since Saturday evening.

He was smiling at the way Olli’s eyes had brightened when he had spotted Aleksi in the crowd. He was smiling at Olli’s shy offer to get him a Pepsi. He was smiling at how star-struck Olli had looked when the band had first got on stage and the way he had lost himself in the music, rocking his head and closing his eyes as if to let the bass lines and guitar riffs swallow him whole. The band had been excellent, Aleksi had to agree, but more than half the time, all Aleksi had seen or heard was Olli.

And for the last three minutes of the show, all Aleksi had felt was Olli; more specifically, he had felt Olli’s hand searching for his, fumbling and hesitating until it finally clasped Aleksi’s during the final song of the band’s setlist, a melancholy rock ballad that prompted lighters and cellphone flashlights to be lit. In Aleksi’s eyes, they were all dim in comparison to the glimmer in Olli’s eyes.

Lying in his bedroom later that evening and throughout the entire next day, Aleksi had still felt the warmth of Olli’s hand in his, even though they had let each other go as soon as the stage lights had been turned off.

“Hi.” Olli’s voice brought Aleksi from Saturday evening back to Monday morning. 

“Hi,” he simply answered. There were a million things he wanted to say to Olli, but his sleepy, happy brain was still working on finding the exact words.

The smile on Olli’s face told him he’d have time to figure it out, at his own pace.

In the meantime, Aleksi could always improvise, and so he picked up his pencil.

♡

They both stared at the tiny heart on the corner of Olli’s notebook, and just when Aleksi was about to convince himself he had made a terrible mistake, Olli took the pencil out of his hand.

♡ ♡