#so does anyone know of lance themed blogs

[smol-grey-tea]

For the ask game thingie: top 5 fictional characters? From any media, or if that is too broad, you can choose a specific piece of media!! :)

First of all thank you for sending ask 😎 second of all, you have been warned, this post is incredibly long and infodumpy.

I was going to include other media but as I started I just got more and more invested in Nameless

If you don't know who these characters are or where they're from I'll take this post to strongly recommend checking out the otome visual novel Nameless the One Thing You Must Recall, made by a collaboration between dating sim company Cheritz and ball joint doll company Crobi Doll. You can play the demo(?) or buy the full game on Steam or watch a variety of play throughs available on YouTube but since this post is about the characters instead of the game I will stick to just that- this is my main blog and therefore spam blog but it is first and foremost a Nameless blog ;)

This is long so I'll put it under the cut ^^

Up first of all is him, the one, the only, the man, the myth, the legend, the hero of the hour: Red from Nameless the One Thing You Must Recall :) could anyone have possibly predicted this? /s

He is the character ever, I will not apologise. He is the perfect man. He is everything I am and aspire to be. Number one himbo and most precious being in existence. My bpd bestie and husband, til death do us part.

I cannot possibly relate to him or his struggles anymore than I already do, he is so fucking unbelievably underrated in what little fandom this game has, he deserves so much more. He literally just does his best and never does anything wrong and the very little he does do wrong he sincerely apologises for and never does again ❤

He is the knight in shining armor who tries constantly to achieve an impossible goal because he believes himself worthless otherwise and slowly comes to realise that all he needs to do is stay right by Eri's side to be enough because, in her words "you are great as you are right now", a quote I will never forget

Coming up next-

It's her. The her of the game ever. It's Eri.

She is the main character, she is literally me.

I think her character especially is such a good protagonist for a game like Nameless cuz I also appreciate just how fleshed out she is, with her relationships - to her grandpa, her parents, Nameless (the character), her friends and the dolls - especially with how she holds every single one of them so dear to her.

Nameless' such strong themes of abandonment and grief are shown in her character really well cuz for some of the dolls their reactions to their own abandonment can be sort of abnormal or extreme (ex. Tei, Nameless), but I think Eri's reaction is so so human and childish (in a good way) cuz it's almost like she never grows up because of it. Her parents work overseas so her grandfather looked after her until he passed away and she began to just live on her own in his apartment. Her parents very rarely ever visited and she struggled to make friends so she only has 2, so as she grew and learned how to live on her own she developed a hobby of collecting ball joint dolls from the company Crobi Doll which makes dolls with souls so they feel alive.

She deals with the abandonment of her parents and the loss of her grandfather by escaping reality with playing with her dolls and dressing them up but I think another way she copes with it of note is how she doesn't ask for help when she needs it cuz she doesn't wanna bother people. It's never explicitly stated in the game in comparison to how the doll's issues are so explicit but you can definitely infer that how she learned not to ask for her parents to give attention to her cuz she didn't wanna bother them bled into her future interactions with ppl and not asking for help when it's needed. The wording of that feels incoherent but I hope the point gets across??

Anyway I love her so much, I hope you can tell 😅

In third place I have selected the Ice Prince, Lance :)

He's pretty funny. Lol.

Ok but I really really love how good of an introduction he is to the game. There isn't a set order to play all of the routes in but the recommended order is: Lance -> Yeonho -> Yuri -> Tei -> Red -> Nameless. With the themes of not only grief and abandonment but the empathy/connection to inanimate objects, his route really really compliments those themes well, especially in the chapter in which he and Eri search for her lost phone and especially his rain scene.

His route as a whole is quite sweet, his growth is very cute and the end to the festival scene is absolutely hucking filarious. Ooh and I love his relationship with Red and how they compliment each other so well but are in constant competition at the same time. I feel like they would be the stars of a romcom or something, I would love to see some kind of dlc or spinoff which solely focuses on them trying to tolerate being roommates with each other 😂😂

In fourth place I am choosing Mr Yuri :3

I think out of all the other characters he's slightly misplaced? I've played the game over multiple times and his route still confuses me a bit since I'm not really sure what struggles his character arch is supposed to be a comments of. He's a bit of a difficult character to read and he can even come off as quite unlikeable because of his flirty and carefree attitude but despite all of the confusion I really can't help but love him and his route - I can do nothing but find it incredibly sweet and cute :)

Out of the whole game my favourite scene is the one pictured above, his rain scene. I love how different it is to Lance and Yeonho's rain scenes because theirs revolved around Eri rushing to find them in the rain and comfort them thru whatever they were dealing with, but Yuri's rain scene involves Eri rushing to save him from the rain only to find that he is warm and dry and calmly playing the piano whilst Eri is the one who needs comforting after being in the cold and storm.

He's very flirtatious and boasts about how much women love him and he loves them in return but Eri learns that he's actually quite an empty person who only gives back as much love as he is given from others. He lacks the understanding of sincerity because he is so used to giving love only to be polite and so is overwhelmed upon realising his sincere feelings for Eri.

I suppose on further inspection he's more like a person who surrounds themself with fake and shallow love to feel whole whilst lacking any deep true connections and understanding of other people? He understands love through flattery and money instead of the intimacy of personal connection.

Because of this I think that the title of Red's opposite is less fitting of Lance as it is Yuri to be honest. Lance is too similar to Red to be his true opposite, they're only opposite on the outside. Red is someone who doesn't particularly understand empty love like that, he is someone who only understand sincerity, whose character is defined by his unabashed and unapologetic empathy.

Also I love him cuz he's funny. For a competition on the funniest Nameless character he is up there. Seriously.

In last place it's kind of tie between Soi and Shinbi.

^ edit by @welcome-to-banjul - will reblog original post after uploading this one

It's a little bit cheating to put 2 characters into the 5th spot but okkkk they don't count as 2 different people, they are a package deal ok??? 😂😂😂

Both Soi and Shinbi so cute just look at their designs alone!! They are amazing :)

They compliment each other so well and are so supportive of Eri it's adorable. I especially love their interactions at the end of Lance's route when Eri finally gets the courage to share with them her passion for dolls and to her surprise they react so well and accept her wholeheartedly and even seem to show an interest in it themselves :)

They're both really nice palette cleansers from the insanity and depression of the boys' routes as the majority of their scenes are very lighthearted and wholesome as well as hilarious especially around exam time. Soi's over the top dramatic reactions blend really well with Shinbi's cool and calm attitude. Did you know Shinbi's name can translate to mystery? Quite fitting for her :)

One thing though that I don't like about them is that I wished they played a bit more of a role in the story and although they do serve more purpose in Red and Tei's routes I wish their roles were more positive than conflicting. Plus I wish that Shinbi played more of a role too. And!!! They were done so dirty when Yujin of all people was given a dlc but for Soi and Shinbi??? Nothing!!! Come on!!! >:(

And. You cannot convince me that they aren't in some kind of relationship. Romantic, platonic or what, I don't know, but I do know for sure that those two share everything with each other and I have a relationship more intimate than a married couple.

Thank you so much for sending the ask!! ^^ I really appreciate it and I hope you enjoyed the word vomit 😅 I shall end this with a poll

[eliotdrawings]

my favorite alien

(antis & br/ganes don’t touch)

★ ★ ★

✨  message me for commissions ✨ ✨  charms & ko-fi links in the profile ✨ ✨  support artists by reblogging works & turning off ‘best stuff first’ ✨

[butterflies-dragons]

Hey! There was a giant lemon cake with phallic image in alayne chapter. Do you think it some coincidence or it means something? Especially it's presented by petyr. Also Sansa and her enemies giving her lemoncakes give same vibes as Hansel&gretel story.

And best of all, Lord Nestor’s cooks prepared a splendid subtlety, a lemon cake in the shape of the Giant’s Lance, twelve feet tall and adorned with an Eyrie made of sugar.

For me, Alayne thought, as they wheeled it out. Sweetrobin loved lemon cakes too, but only after she told him that they were her favorites. The cake had required every lemon in the Vale, but Petyr had promised that he would send to Dorne for more.

—The Winds of Winter - Alayne I

Petyr Baelish is grooming Sansa, that’s the awful truth. And he has studied Sansa, he knows what she likes/wants and he will use that knowledge in his favor.

He knows she had a distant relationship with Ned, so he becomes Alayne’s father.

He knows that Ned neglected her and that she always craved for her father’s validation, so he gives her that, he praised her wits for example, and called her clever and smart. 

If Sansa says something like “I can’t” or “I don’t know”, he is there to encourage and support and tell her “you can do it” & “you know it”.  

He knows she loves knights and tourneys, so he allows her to organize a tournament, whose winners will belong to a kind of “Kingsguard” for Sweetrobin, based on the child’s favorite hero of the legends: The Winged Knight, Ser Artys Arryn.

He knows she loves lemon cakes, so he gives her a giant lemon cake.    

The Tyrells has used the same strategy:

"Sansa," Lady Alerie broke in, "you must be very hungry. Shall we have a bite of boar together, and some lemon cakes?"

"Lemon cakes are my favorite," Sansa admitted.

"So we have been told," declared Lady Olenna, who obviously had no intention of being hushed. "That Varys creature seemed to think we should be grateful for the information. I've never been quite sure what the point of a eunuch is, if truth be told. It seems to me they're only men with the useful bits cut off. Alerie, will you have them bring the food, or do you mean to starve me to death? Here, Sansa, sit here next to me, I'm much less boring than these others. I hope that you're fond of fools."

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa I

We all know how much Sansa loves her lemon cakes, but the Tyrells and Littlefinger really treat her as if she were a child like Sweetrobin:

"Will they be lemon cakes?" Lord Robert loved lemon cakes, perhaps because Alayne did.

"Lemony lemony lemon cakes," she assured him, "and you can have as many as you like."

"A hundred?" he wanted to know. "Could I have a hundred?"

"If it please you." She sat on the bed and smoothed his long, fine hair. He does have pretty hair. Lady Lysa had brushed it herself every night, and cut it when it wanted cutting. After she had fallen Robert had suffered terrible shaking fits whenever anyone came near him with a blade, so Petyr had commanded that his hair be allowed to grow. Alayne wound a lock around her finger, and said, "Now, will you get out of bed and let us dress you?"

"I want a hundred lemon cakes and five tales!"

I'd like to give you a hundred spankings and five slaps. You would not dare behave like this if Petyr were here. The little lord had a good healthy fear of his stepfather. Alayne forced a smile. "As my lord desires. But nothing till you're washed and dressed and on your way. Come, before the morning's gone." She took him firmly by the hand, and drew him out of bed.

—A Feast for Crows - Alayne II

The lemon cake in the shape of the Giant’s Lance

The Giant's Lance is the tallest peak of the Mountains of the Moon within the Vale of Arryn, extending three and a half miles above the the valley below.

The great-grandfather of Petyr Baelish was a Braavosi sellsword that came into the Vale of Arryn at the service of Lord Corbray. His line was continued by his son, who became a hedge knight and took the head of the Titan of Braavos as his sigil.

As I mentioned in this post, a sword, Ice in particular, works as a phallic symbol in Sansa’s chapters. 

So, we can also make this association:

The Titan of Braavos = A Giant

The Giant’s Lance = Tallest Peak

Lance & Peak = phallic symbols 

Lemon cake in the shape of the Giant’s Lance = I don’t want to write it 

We can also say that Petyr Baelish is “compensating” his “shortfalls”, after all he is a short man called Littlefinger.  

Yes, I think this giant lemon cake could be seen as a phallic symbol and it makes sense with Littlefinger grooming her... yikes

¡¡¡SOMEONE SAVE HER PLEASE!!!   

My friend @lostlittlesatellites has already wrote about these subjects, giant lemon cake as phallic symbol and Hansel and Gretel story: 

I argued that lemon cakes in Sansa’s arc actually spell people trying to exploit Sansa’s weakness in an almost Hansel & Gretel way and a betrayal that follows.

“Interestingly Sansa’s first chapter in AGOT poses questions that will drive majority of her arc. Her desire for a courtly life in the South will not only prove to be hollow but worse a dream that turns into nightmare. Sansa asks two questions: “What could you want to see? It’s just fields and farms and holdfasts” and “Why would you want to ride a smelly old horse and get all sore and sweaty when you could recline on feather pillows and eat cakes with the queen?”

The world is larger than Sansa has been taught to believe, reclining more inward into her dreams with the strict regime that she taught to look away from the window. She doesn’t think she is prepared enough and that she needs more training. Yes, she doesn’t know enough but neither does Arya or Bran or Jon. Having Sansa finally leave her cage after completing her tutelage under Littlefinger is continuing that student-teacher dynamic she has had since Septa Mordane. People come to love the security of the cage they live in too long. This is why it takes so long to take out the fear of the outside from Sansa because the fact that she has barely any experience keeps her thinking she needs someone to rely on.

[…]

The “Feather pillows and cakes with the queen” part represents the glamour that attracts little boys and girls like Sansa. However, it is hollow as Sansa comes to realise about many things. In fact, people offering Sansa lemon cakes in Sansa’s storyline often forebodes a betrayal from the person offering it. Cersei offers her lemon cakes and a few chapters later she has Lady executed and even later, she has Ned arrested. Olenna offers Sansa lemon cakes, which Varys offers as valuable information to bring her guard down in order to lure her into her trap of marrying her to Wilas and getting hold of Winterfell and the North. They have her wear the murder weapon, which could implicate her for Joffrey’s murder even if their target is Tyrion. Littlefinger is offering her a 12 foot phallic shaped lemon cake in Sansa’s TWOW chapter. Given how happy Sansa is in this chapter that she is almost forgetting that she isn’t Alayne, the food is way too lavish when Winter is coming and along with this trend with lemon cakes, the clock is going to strike 12 and the illusion is going to break very soon. Soon Sansa will prefer riding those “smelly horses” and getting sweaty and sore in order to escape over those lemon cakes and feather beds offered by untrustworthy people. For Sansa’s arc to be fulfilling she has to experience the lives of small folk up close before she helps them. As a character whose view range is often myopic, she has to be put in the middle of the lives of the small folk to truly understand them.”

I highly recommend you to check @lostlittlesatellites blog, she’s a great ASOIAF meta writer, you can read more about these subjects here and here. She covered a lot of themes and symbolisms around Sansa in the Vale, some of them very disturbing regarding Littlefinger’s present and future actions against Sansa...   

But despite all that, since GRRM is a writer that likes to give different meanings to a same thing, there are also some very interesting details that are worthy to mention about the real Giant’s Lance:

So lovely. The snow-clad summit of the Giant's Lance loomed above her, an immensity of stone and ice that dwarfed the castle perched upon its shoulder. Icicles twenty feet long draped the lip of the precipice where Alyssa's Tears fell in summer. A falcon soared above the frozen waterfall, blue wings spread wide against the morning sky. Would that I had wings as well. 

—A Feast for Crows - Alayne I

The Winged Knight was Ser Artys Arryn. Legend said that he had driven the First Men from the Vale and flown to the top of the Giant's Lance on a huge falcon to slay the Griffin King.  

—A Feast for Crows - Alayne II

I can see strong dragon imagery here... 

I already wrote about how Sansa wishing falcon wings could be foreshadowing of her getting dragon wings.  

Here I also listed all the similarities between Jon and Sweetrobin.

But the most interesting detail is that the real Giant’s Lance is Stone covered by Ice/Snow. 

Sansa’s Vale arc has a lot of connections with Jon Snow, like this parallel that I called “Children of the Mountains”.

There is also the names of the waycastles Stone (Alayne) and Snow (Jon).

And one of my favorite Jon Snow reference in Sansa’s chapters, the ghost wolf, big as mountains:

All around was empty air and sky, the ground falling away sharply to either side. There was ice underfoot, and broken stones just waiting to turn an ankle, and the wind was howling fiercely. It sounds like a wolf, thought Sansa. A ghost wolf, big as mountains.

—A Feast for Crows - Alayne II

So, 

The Giant’s Lance is the tallest peak of the Mountains of the Moon.

The Giant’s Lance is Stone covered by Ice/Snow.

Sansa compared those mountains with a giant Ghost Wolf.  

I’m sorry Littlefinger, you can’t touch this girl!

Thanks for your message.

[little-red-toyota]

Final good bye to the fandom

TW//Trauma, triggers, nsfw, sexual themes, rape, domestic abuse e.g.

This is gonna be a long ass post…

It has taken me a while to get emotionally strong enough to do this, as I will have to think back at some traumatic events from my past to address some of these things. That's why I waited until I got home from vacation with my family, as it will seriously affect my mood and mental health, and I want to be near my doctor and therapist, just in case.

And also, I know that the majority of those reading this will invalidate me and tell me I am making things up to clear my name. So, I literally have to torment myself to write a blog post people will just brush off as bogus anyway. But I will do it now that I am in safe surroundings. Then it will be off my chest, and I can finally move on. If people will continue stirring up the past, it will be their problem, not mine.

I think I should write one last blog post where I address everything. I have left the TTTE-fandom, but I will write that one as my final goodbye to the fandom. I just have to find out everything I've been accused of so I can properly address them all in order. I might leave out details of my life that is too hard for me to open up about. I know most of you will just invalidate me anyway.

1. The Stepney fic and glorifying rape.

2. My mafia-AU.

3. The Darin incident.

4. Being a pedophile. (Where do they get this from anyway??)

5. Running the NSFW-blog.

6. Drawing penises/boobs on trains. Drawing age-regression art.

Is there more?

Ah... yes! Faking my own suicide, of course!

7. "Faking" being suicidal.

8. Having the audacity to survive and go on living.

9. "Making up" my past trauma to justify writing fics to cope with it.

10. Being a nazi for being interested in WW2 history and for being Norwegian and having so-called nazi-letters in my last name (actual letters of the Norwegian alphabet).

11. Putting a white-supremacist flag (the actual flag of Norway) on my porch on family birthdays and our national day.

12. Being a danger to my daughter.

Anything else that needs to be addressed? What else am I being accused of? Send me a dm and I will add it to the post.

 Okay, I will bump the Stepney fic down a bit as it is the most traumatic thing for me to address, I will save that one for last.

2 and 3. The dark au/mafia au where I gave some TTTE characters some rather dark and unpleasant character traits, and the whole incident with Darin and the pedo-Salty was addressed in this blog post written by my husband last year, so I am not opening that can of worms again: https://little-red-toyota.tumblr.com/post/623743183795470336/in-light-of-recent-events

Even the thing about Toby cheating on Henrietta is addressed there.

As for the au, I never fully explored it as I started losing interest in TTTE around the same time. I found other things to enjoy and TTTE faded into the background and the au was dropped before I even wrote any stories, apart from the one about Toby and Henrietta.

Some people claim, like this lovely individual, that most of the characters were rapists and pedos. No, not most. Only one of each. And I did not write more than one story about rape and suicide. Where does this person even get that from? Someone who told someone who had heard from someone who might have heard….?

Don't spread rumors unless you are sure that they are true.

Anyway, it's all addressed in that blog post in that link. I don't see how this mafia au is any worse than other dark post-apocalyptic or violent aus. It mostly was about the diesel mafia and their illegal businesses, not about sex, even if it did occur now and then. I find the substance abuse in it to be more problematic tbh…  

 4. Being a pedophile.

I don't even know how to defend myself against this one, as I don't even know why people think I am pedophile. They only throw the accusation out with no backing evidence, so I have no idea where it comes from or what it is that makes people think I am one.

Apart from one claim that I had faved "porn" alongside "strangers'" baby photos on DA. I addressed that earlier though. As DeviantArt doesn't sort what you click "like" on, it all ends up in the same folder unless you actively go through it and sort it into categories, which I don't bother most of the time. It also doesn't say WHEN it was added to your faves. So, I can have faved an artistic nude on Saturday, and then faved my friend's family photo on Thursday. It's not like I actively search for porn, get all steamed up and then look at pictures of children. WTF.

The few children I have faved are not from complete strangers, but long-term friends of mine. Yes, it is possible to have friends on the same website. I have actually met a lot of my RL friends through DeviantArt. I posted photos of my daughter when she was a baby, they would fave it and congratulate me. So, I did the same when they had a baby. As simple as that. Nothing weird or perverted about it. Due to people doxxing me last year however, I deleted the photos of me, my husband and my daughter from DeviantArt, so it's no longer there.

Porn isn't allowed on DeviantArt anyway. The nudes there are so-called artistic nudes, and for the most part I use them as pose-references when I draw as it is easier to draw a pose using a nude base and then dress them up once you got the pose right.

"The very naked" centaurs I have faved. Well, I like the mythological creature Centaur. And as far as I know… they do not wear clothes, so how are they NOT nude? Look it up, it's a horse body with a human torso instead of horse head. I don't see them as sexual, but what do I know? Maybe YOU do?

I have no sexual interest in children whatsoever.

 5. Running the NSFW-blog on Tumblr and Twitter.

Yes. I was one of six people modding that blog. ONE of six, so I refuse to take the full blame here.

MerciResolution has openly admitted to being the founder, and she recruited me and some others to modify as the confession load became too heavy for one person to handle alone.

The original blog on Tumblr worked as follows: People would anonymously send a confession to our askbox, we would add a picture (sometimes photoshopped) to the text and post it on the blog. Always tagged as NSFW and with proper trigger warnings if necessary! The blog itself was also marked as explicit, so it didn't appear in searches and such.

For us, this blog was nothing but a joke. We did it for shits and giggles. If anyone took it seriously and thought we got off to the stuff that was posted, we apologize for that, but to us it was just for laughs. And we DID laugh a lot, you guys should have seen the weird shit people sent us sometimes!

We had fun and we never thought anyone would take it seriously, so we never thought of writing "joke" in the description or anything. It never occurred to us that it could be anything but a joke.

We also made a Twitter account for it, also locked for minors. But it was quickly hacked, and someone changed the password so we could no longer access it. We made another account and forgot about the old one…

After a while, the original mods started losing interest and the blog (both on Tumblr and Twitter) became less active. That's when a person I had known for years, and wrongfully trusted, came forward and wanted to take over ownership. So, the ownership was handed over to Russalita/Charlie.

That turned out to be huge mistake!

Me and the other mods had more or less forgotten that the blogs existed, when suddenly someone started bashing me and getting up in my arms over it. I got seriously confused as I hadn't been active on it in almost a year. But as it turned out, Russalita had removed the mature filters and made the accounts open for all the see. Even minors.

And as people knew I was one of the mods, they fired their guns at me. I can see why though, so I'm not pointing any fingers here.

I tried contacting her by phone, asking her to lock the accounts again, but she gave me a less than polite response, hung up and then blocked my number…

So, I decided to try to shut the blogs down on my own, trying the old passwords. It worked on the Tumblr-account, and I managed to password protect it, for some reason it couldn't be fully deleted. But the Twitter account had gotten its password changed by Russalita. I was however able to get a new password by logging into the e-mail we had used to create it. I deleted the Twitter blog fully. It can't be re-activated even if we wanted to. It's gone.

But it turns out the old, hacked one is still up and now open for everyone. And this one poses a huge problem as we have no way of getting into it to delete it. Only thing we have been able to do so far is reporting it and hope it will be removed by Twitter. So I only have one thing to say about it: report it.

I am no longer running any NSFW TTTE blog anywhere, nor do I have interest in doing so. So, if you come across one, claiming to be me or any of the other mods, it is false.

 6. Drawing penises/boobs on trains. Drawing age-regression art.

People seem to believe I have drawn genitals on trains. I have never done such. Any art on the NSFW-blog with genitalia on the trains were sent in by confessors and was not drawn by me. Most of them seems to have been drawn by someone who goes by the name "The Lance".

I HAVE drawn things for the NSFW blog, but there were no genitalia in those drawings. I drew Frank of Arlesdale looking grossed out by (I don't know what the part is named in English, but it is connected to the brakes of the engine) that stick-like thing on his bufferbeam being wet from whatever the confessor did to him. I drew an over-exaggerated comical pic of a horrified Peter Sam getting his face licked by his driver, who had an enormous tongue. I also did a couple of manips. Mostly maniping engine faces on humans, like the one where Gordon's face is on a less than fit guy flailing his shirt around, and the Arlesdale smallies' faces on a movie poster from Magic Mike. One with Mr.Conductor in a giant bun while Pinchy is applying ketchup on him, for a confession about eating him, I think?  I've done some more, but I forgot what it was, I only know I loved making them comical rather than erotic, as I saw the blog as a joke overall.

I HAVE also drawn aheago faces on engines because it looks hilarious. Though I have only drawn them on my OCs and the NRS engines, not TTTE characters.

Point is I have never drawn genitalia on trains. Ever. And I likely never will. It's not THAT much fun drawing NSFW stuff.

I see from this screenshot that a certain MK-Instrumentalist claim that all my personal art is age-regression art and infantilism…

Whose art have you been looking at? Because it's definitely not mine. I have drawn a couple of baby/chibi diesels… But claiming that all of my 700 or so artworks are depicting infantilism and age-regression stuff? I suggest people go have a look for themselves. I haven't drawn that. That MK-guy has been desperately trying to cancel me for ages for reasons only himself know. I don't even know the guy, and he doesn't know me, yet he wants to see me beheaded. Go figure.

I was for a long time bothered by some age-regressor on Tumblr who just wouldn't leave me alone with their weird asks, who tried to force themselves on me and some other artists here. They claim age-regression isn't a fetish, but the shit they sent to my askbox certainly looked like a fetish to me.

I don't want anything to do with that stuff. It weirds me out.

And no. I have never drawn pedophilia or rape art either. This guy can't even make up his mind on which one to accuse me of.

 7 and 8. Faking suicide and having the audacity to survive and go on living.

As many know, after the intense shitstorm against me last summer, thanks to Darin, I attempted suicide. I didn't succeed as my husband came home early. I was gone for a few days but returned when a young boy reached out to me for help as he was being groomed and didn't know who else to turn to.

Recently I saw a screenshot where someone claimed me to have faked suicide, and that I just came back after a few days when everything had died down.

Wow.

I am truly sorry I survived.

I don't remember much from those days to be honest, but as the load became too heavy and the bullying too intense, piling up on 30 years of old trauma… I decided to end it. I must warn you guys who might get triggered now; there are detailed descriptions of a suicide attempt. Proceed with caution. People told me I was a bad mother among other things, having had those same thoughts myself (according to my husband, I am a good mom) and people just confirming them, I thought that my daughter would be better off growing up without me. I could have chosen a more effective suicide method, but I was afraid my daughter would be the first to find me, so I wanted it to be clean and look like I was just sleeping. That way it could be explained as natural causes.

So, I decided to overdose on pills. I downed all pills I could find in the house that had a warning triangle on it (strong pain meds etc.) and then went to my computer to delete my online existence, especially the personal data.

As a former paramedic, I should have known better. Because after half an hour, my body started reacting. But not the way I had hoped and wanted. I started retching and almost vomiting. That's when my husband came home from work and found me. He immediately saw the empty packages and knowing my past suicidal tendencies, he reacted instinctively. He put his fingers down my throat and had me puke everything up, then he called an ambulance and had me admitted to the hospital.

I don't remember anything from the days I spent there. But I have been told they emptied my stomach and gave me lots of fluids. I was then assigned a psychiatrist which I am still seeing today.

I was gone for those days because I was in hospital, not because I was pulling some kind of trick and pretending to have ended myself.

So… I am sorry I "faked" my suicide.

I'm sorry my husband saved me. I am sorry the medics and doctors succeeded in saving my life.

I am sorry I survived and proceeded to live on. If I ever make another attempt, I promise to do better.

Why are you guys so persistent in trying to push people to suicide anyway? Do you get a kick out of it? Why do people have to be pushed to that point before you care?

What did we tell our daughter? Simply that I got sick and had to go to the hospital. She took that well.

I've seen a lot of people wonder why I am still around. Why shouldn't I? Does my daughter deserve to lose her mother over some online crap she doesn't even know about? I owe her to live and watch her grow up, to help her with her homework and whatever else a parent needs to do. I also owe my husband to stay by his side, like I promised him the day we got married. Even if I do not wish to live.

I'm sorry I survived, guys. Really, I am.

 9. "Making up" my past trauma to justify writing fics to cope with it. And 1. The Stepney fic and glorifying rape.

 First… why would anyone make up trauma? It's not like it's a competition to have the worst life, is it?

Sadly, I don't have to make up anything. My life HAS been rocky up until the birth of my daughter. I have been through so much trauma I couldn't even fathom it myself before my therapist listed it all up to me. Until then, I had just been casually talking to her about it, like I would talk about the weather. I didn't cry or get in touch with my emotions even once while telling everything, because I was taught from an early age to never complain, to suck it up and go on. So, no matter what people did to me, I would just smile and go on, even if it killed me inside. I did not want to show any sign of weakness, because then they would attack me. A habit I developed through years of being bullied in school. Never show feelings, just pretend nothing could hurt you, then they would eventually grow tired of it and stop.

Except they never did. They kept going through all my years at school. To such an extent, my boyfriend didn't dare to show himself hanging out with me out of fear of being bullied himself… And as we grew older, he would start cheating on me too. And I kept smiling…

My next boyfriend was a bit older than me, and while that didn't bother me, as we were both well over legal age, it bothered him. We only lasted one year before he bailed out and ditched me out of the blue via an sms.

The next guy… was the one who scarred me for life. Both physically and mentally. A charmer at first of course, until I was trapped. He was unemployed, so he moved in with me, and I paid for everything from food to phone bills. All while he was dating several women behind my back, calling various pay-phone services and in general acted like a manwhore. As I worked as an electrician (also being subject to massive bullying and sexual harassment at work), he would be jealous of all my co-workers and if I ever came home late or worked overtime, he accused me of cheating and was extremely violent about it. He would also isolate me from my friends and family, making me think I couldn't get any other than him. If any of my male friends (almost all my friends are male…) came over, he would give me such hell afterwards, it was easier just to tell them it was a bad time to visit. And after a while, they stopped asking. This guy also demanded sex. Every single day. If I refused, he would punish me, mostly by flogging me with lampcords, belts or whatever else he had at hand. My back is a criss cross map of old, faded scars even now nearly 20 years later. I would have shown you a photo, but I am so self-concious about my body after all the bullying, I hardly even show my face in photos. Maybe one day… but I certainly need more therapy before being able to show naked skin to strangers, even if it's just my back. So I had non-consensual sex with him more often than consensual. It has taken me hours in therapy to even take the word in my mouth and call it by its proper name: rape. I was raped, almost every single day for little over a year, before I found the strength to break out of the relationship and finally throw him out of my house. It all ended when I found some revealing texts on his cellphone, which he was extremely protective of… Texts that revealed that he had engaged in a relationship with a 12 year old girl, and it had been going on for a while. Not only was he cheating on me, but he was a pedophile too. Needless to say, I didn't even let him pack his stuff before I fetched my shotgun and chased him out of the house. I don't know where I got the courage and strength from… but I was furious.

I thought I had gotten rid of him, but no. He started stalking me in public. Hiding behind shelves when I was shopping, his car following mine everywhere I went. I received weird letters in the mail with cut-out letters from newspapers, glued together. On top of all, his creepy, old uncle called me with some rather disgusting suggestions and tried to come on to me really hard. I had to change my phone number, and after coming home to my house and finding out someone had entered my home using a key, only to empty the drawer of my night table, I also had to change the locks of my doors as he had clearly copied the key.

He didn't stop until I got the police involved.

So, when I finally met the guy who would become my husband (or rather, we found out we were made for each other, we had known each other since we were 11 years old), I had major trust issues towards men especially and it took him endless patience and love to break me out of that shell.

But the trauma doesn't stop… or start there.

In the year 2000, on January 4th, I would experience something that made me unable to even look at a train for over 10 years. The Åsta accident (google it). I was a volunteer in the Norwegian Red Cross then, and a paramedic in training. Back then, you were allowed to start training the year you would turn 16. So, I was still 15 when I witnessed the most traumatic event of my life. The day started out calm, we were stocking up the ambulance after delivering a patient to the hospital when we got a call with the code "500", which means "catastrophe". Normally when we get that code it is a rehearsal… so we drove towards the coordinates with the thoughts that this was just an exercise, nothing real… we didn't prepare ourselves mentally… And we ended up in the closest thing to hell I have ever been… The sight of the burning trains, the smells, the sounds, the screaming… I still wake up by nightmares to this day. Though the moment that haunts me the most is when the screaming stopped… because we all knew why… I don't want to go into details, but 19 people died that day. But we also saved 67 people. I try to hold on to that thought. The age limit for starting paramedic training was raised after this, as I wasn't the only one who was too young for an accident of that scale. Today it is 18. A memorial stone has been placed on the site, but I still haven't been able to bring myself to visit it, even if we drive past the site every year on our way to visit family further north in the country. I needed hours of therapy to even be able to ride a train after this. To have gotten to the point where I now volunteer at a heritage railway and is in training to become a driver, is a HUGE step for me. My next goal is to visit the site of the accident.

On to next trauma… A previous employer, a rather large electric company in Norway, whom I worked for 8 years. The first five years were great, we were a close-knit bunch of electricians, and we had a great relationship with the bosses and higher-ups. Our labor union was strong.

It all started changing in 2009 when we got new leaders… and those decided to get rid of everyone who were a member of the union. One by one, they started harassing workers in various ways, trying to get them to quit. In Norway, they need a legal reason to fire you, it's not enough to not like someone. There has to be a good reason to fire someone e.g. theft, neglecting work… Since they didn't have any reasons to fire us, they started making our work lives gradually harder and harder until we would break and find another job. Sadly, one of my co-workers couldn't stand the pressure… He bid us all farewell as normal one Friday and hung himself the following day.. But as I was a girl in a male-dominated profession, I had been taught at an early stage to ignore anything that would hurt me emotionally, just arch my neck and plow through. I kept doing that, despite starting to feel more and more mental and physical pains… even my co-workers pointed out how I was being mistreated before I acknowledged it myself. I tried to tell my boss, but he reacted by treating me worse. So, I went to his boss… and that's when things went to hell. Instead of doing his job and listen, he started harassing me too. He deemed my over-weight a problem, and he started demanding I gave him detailed lists of what I ate and how much I worked out… Completely illegal of course, but by this point I was broken down to the point I thought I was useless and couldn't get another job… so I accepted. He started accusing me of lying about my exercise, so I started training at the gym in the basement at work instead. One day, while I was there, he locked the doors and turned the lights off. There were no windows, no cellphone reception and hardly anyone walking by in that part of the building… I sat there in the pitch dark for 3 hours before I was let back out. I still get badly triggered by narrow, dark rooms and rooms with no windows. To such an extent, I jumped out of a small window on the second floor of a gym when I was in boot camp. I was allowed to train downstairs in the bigger gym with windows on all walls after that incident…

The harassment at work went on for years until I finally snapped, ended up at the hospital and got into therapy for the first time. I don't want to go into depth about what more happened, I just can't… I can't bring myself to write it all. Luckily, I had gotten more education while working, so when I graduated, another company called and gave me an offer I just couldn't refuse. So, I quit my job and never looked back, even if the traumas I suffered there still haunts me to this day.

Sadly, even after switching jobs, now getting a safe job with sane leaders… I started to relax, and that's when all my past trauma came washing over me. And one day, on while driving to work, I had my first serious panic attack. It started as this feeling I used to have at the old company; getting sick to my stomach and having the sense of someone being out to get me… then it developed to breathing problems… and I had to pull the car over. I broke into tears, struggling to breathe, stumbling out of the car to read the logo on its side just to reassure my body and brain that I worked for a different company now and there was no reason for panic. I called my boss and let him know, because he also was a "refugee" from that other company, so he knew what me and several others had gone through. He managed to talk me down enough for me to come to the office to talk to him. That helped.

I got back into therapy. A better therapist this time. But sadly, it got apparent that I could no longer work as an electrician as there was too many triggers. I was diagnosed with PTSD, severe depression, and social anxiety. I'm still working on these and get better slowly.

I have been in therapy for a long time now, and it was my therapist that suggested I wrote fics to cope and "write it out". I tried to make up my own characters for this, but never felt any connection. I was by this time in the TTTE fandom and had met people with similar trauma and pasts like myself, and I started roleplaying with some of them. Me and a girl from UK then agreed to try to rp/co-write a fic to cope with our trauma. We both found it easier to write about pre-established characters we had a connection to, even if it was an au that made it barely recognizable from the original source material. Only the names and some minor things were similar.

That fic was Stepney's Virginity Gets Lost.

Do we regret writing it? No. It helped us write out our traumas and helped us overcome some mental obstacles in out therapy process. Our therapists cheering us on, because we finally managed to break through the hard shell surrounding us. We both cried for the first time in years while writing it, some of it through roleplay, because some parts were extremely graphic and brutal and very mentally exhausting. We had to take long breaks between each writing session, so the fic wasn't written in just a weekend. But we got a lot of darkness out of our minds by writing all this. And we were definitely NOT aroused by it, like this pervert here claims.

It's when you dare to touch and feel the difficult and dark emotions, you can finally move along in the grieving process.

Should it have been posted online?

In retrospect, no. But at the time, we thought it might help other trauma victims, as we also found reading about other people's experiences and fictions touching painful subjects helpful to ourselves. So, we posted it, never expecting it to cause such a controversy 3 years later. In fact, we had more or less forgotten about it until it came back to bit us in the ass. Or rather, bite ME in the ass, as I am getting the full blame alone.

Also, despite what people claim, it was not posted openly for children to read. It was tagged properly and hidden behind mature content walls. If a minor chooses to break that wall, that's not the author's fault. It's the same as watching a movie with an age restriction way above your age, not the filmmaker's fault.

I think MerciResolution puts it nicely here:

"If your problem lies with you KNOWINGLY entering adult spaces when you’re a minor, ignoring all mature warnings that are literally SCREAMING at you “hey, this is what you’re getting into. Are you sure you want to proceed?”

That’s ENTIRELY on you. YOU are the fucking problem.

We’re marking mature things as best as we properly can. If you decide to ignore them, that’s your own damn fault. We’re not your fucking babysitters."

Also, I never posted the story on Wattpad, so if anyone has done that, it's not me. I posted the story on Fanfiction.net, DeviantArt and AO3, that's all. If it's posted anywhere else, it's not done by me.

I had honestly moved on from it when people pulled me back into it.

Other people who have done questionable shit in that fandom are easily forgiven because "they have moved on" or "changed". Yet, nobody believes I can move on or change…?

I had moved on; my interests had changed. But people won't let me, so here I am… Having to defend some crap I did years ago. A fic I no longer have any interest in.

I'm not even interested in TTTE anymore. I have moved on with my own book project now and I would like to focus on that.

So, deleting my TTTE content, whether it was the SFW or NSFW stuff, didn't cost me a penny. It actually felt like a relief. The only downside with it is that people now can't read it and make up their own opinion about it, but will solely believe in what others say, and those things are often seriously bent out of shape and blown out of proportions to such an extent it's barely recognizable.

If people claim that Arry and Bert rape Stepney in the fic, they have never seen it or read it. That's not what happens. That's just an assumption made by looking at the title and knowing there is a rape/torture scene in it. But I'm not gonna tell who the victim is or who performed it, because this is the only way I am able to tell who has actually read the fic or not, who is just trying to spread bullshit and who is actually telling the truth. The person in that screenshot, has no idea what he's talking about.

Does SVGL romanticize rape and abuse?

No, not in the least. It's described as the horrible, heinous acts it is and is in no way meant to be cute or romantic and definitely NOT something anyone should get off to. If anyone finds it sexy, that's their problem, not the authors'. If anything, SVGL might romanticize suicide, because one of the characters isn't able to cope with his trauma and chooses to end their life. Which is something I considered doing myself when I was in the darkest pit of depression. So, I apologize for maybe romanticizing suicide. The following chapters describe how friends and family handle the loss and grief.

It also describes a toxic relationship, where one of the parts struggles to get out of it. They eventually manage to break free, but it is not easy. This can easily be translated to my previously mentioned relationship, as it was my way of writing out my experience about how hard it is to break out of a relation when your partner has broken you down to the point where you no longer believe in yourself and your self-worth.

The last chapters start to gradually become brighter, as both our lives started getting better too. But we never really wrote the end because we both lost interest in writing TTTE content by that time and just left it hanging.

I'm not the only one who has written NSFW TTTE fanfics out there. But it seems like violence and murder is more acceptable than sexual things? I do wonder how brutally mutilating children's show characters are more tolerable than sexually abusing them. Neither should be okay.

Some content creators hide behind "it was a joke". I have been told that such topics that SVGL touches upon shouldn't be joked about… so I didn't do that, and yet it was wrong? So how should such topics be treated? Be hidden like it's a shame, like in the old days when rape victims were told to suck things up and keep it to themselves? When those subject to abuse didn't dare to speak up because people would judge them?

I think it is important to talk about these subjects and why they are so problematic. Victims shouldn't have to hide their trauma; they should be allowed to talk openly about it without fearing judgement.

Some of you claim that writing isn't a good way to cope… You're trying to dictate how trauma victims deal with their trauma, and that's a dangerous path to walk down. Nobody handles trauma the same way. You might have your thoughts on how you would react, but you'll never know until trauma hits you… and you might not react the way you had expected or planned. Trauma messes with your head and you won't be able to think clearly. It makes you do thinks you normally wouldn't have done and can make you act out of character. So, do not judge people without having been in the same situation yourself. Ever.

Someone wrote that I have "more problems that just a rape".

Read that again.

Just a rape.

This person does not know how damaging a rape can be. And if you made it this far in this post, you know I didn't only go through one, but several. Not just by my ex, but also being ambushed while I was walking home from a party, and later; a co-worker forcing himself onto me at a building site. I can't go into depth about them all, I just can't.

Just a rape…

"Just" the feeling of not being in control of your own body and your own decisions. "Just" being robbed off your dignity and self-worth. "Just" having someone intrude into your private zone, tear your clothes off and claim your body against your will. "Just" feeling how your life force leave you as you realize that fighting against it won't help you, and you silently give up and just lay down waiting for it all to be over. "Just" spending hours in the shower, scrubbing your skin until you bleed because you can't wash the filth away and you keep feeling dirty no matter how much you clean yourself. "Just" waking up at night, after having relived the scene again in a nightmare. "Just" looking over your shoulder wherever you walk because you heard something or thought you saw something or simply because someone is walking behind you. "Just" the fact that you'll never feel comfortable walking alone at night again or have someone walk behind you. "Just" never being able to relax because your body constantly think you're in grave danger. "Just" a rape…

That's such a neck-beard thing to say. Someone who clearly think of other people's bodies as property or things. Not taking into consideration that we are living, breathing individuals with feelings. And that having another person violate us isn't something we like or that we'll easily get over. We want to choose who we give ourselves to, nobody should be forced. We didn't ask to be raped. We didn't want it. We didn't like it.

Rape is trauma.

Yes, we should have chosen other characters for the story, but we did what we did, and it cannot be undone now. So, if the only thing I will be remembered for in the fandom is that ONE fic, instead of all my other content, that's what it will be. That's what people chose to. I'm moving on.

10. Being a nazi for being interested in WW2 history and for being Norwegian and having so-called nazi-letters in my last name (actual letters of the Norwegian alphabet).

*sigh*

This is something that could only happen in America, isn't it?

Some people don't bother educating themselves. The "nazi-letters" you guys are talking about is actually part of the Norwegian alphabet and has nothing to do with Nazism or white-supremacy to do at all. The Norwegian alphabet has 29 letters, the three extra is æ,ø,å or in capital letters: Æ,Ø,Å.

We can't help it if some morons over in the US abuse these letters as symbol of their twisted mindset.

Yes, my name contains one of those letters. It is my name… and I didn't choose it. It is a common Norwegian name.

As for me being a Nazi?

Those who knows me knows that I am as far from a Nazi as one can get. I despise Nazism with all my heart.

But the reason some people choose to believe so… was that some guy who has no hobbies or life went through every single fave I've made on DeviantArt since I joined the site in 2006, which is well over 20000 faves. And he found a few Nazi-characters from a web series I was following about ten years ago. I am very interested in history and especially WW2-history, so I found that particular web-series interesting and faved some artwork related to it. What this guy failed to notice is that I also faved the Allied characters… That's ALL there is to that story.

I has also faved a pic someone made of Joseph Goebbels (I think it was?) as a Pixar Car. That's not because I have any nazi-sympathies, but I simply found the concept of turning historical persons, both good and bad, into Cars as an interesting project. I would have faved any other historical Carsified person as well.

As for me being a Norwegian and have a natural pale complexion, that's not something I can help. That's nothing I choose. And it doesn't make me racist or Nazi. Period.

11. Putting a white-supremacist flag (the actual flag of Norway) on my porch on family birthdays and our national day.

Again. Get educated.

This flag… is the actual flag of my country. The Kingdom of Norway.

There is nothing Nazi about it. It is not a symbol of white-supremacy. IT IS THE FLAG OF NORWAY.

During WW2 it was even illegal, so people would paint it everywhere in a protest against the Nazi-occpation and the SS. We even decorated our Christmas trees with it, and that is a tradition that has followed us into the modern day.

Again, if some idiots in the US choose to use it as a symbol for their disgusting logic, it is not Norway or the Norwegians' fault.

12. Being a danger to my daughter.

I need people to elaborate here.

What exactly do you think I do to my daughter? What is the cause of your concern here?

The fact that I have made NSFW content? How is that harmful to her as long as I keep it away from her? You DO realize that even authors, pornstars and moviemakers have children and that they can be good parents, right?

Do you think I read pornographic content for her as bedtime stories? Or show her porn instead of kids TV? How sick are you guys, really…?

Some people even wanted CPS to take my child away from me… Have a look at these screenshots…

You want a happy, healthy, innocent child to be taken away from a stable, safe home with loving parents just because you don't like the content the mother made? You want her to be placed in foster care, where there is no guarantee that she will have a happy upbringing rather than have her stay with her parents who love her and care for her, for reasons she'll never understand and wasn't even aware of?

"Think of the children!" a lot of you say when it comes to my content. May I ask why this doesn't apply to my daughter?

Why do some of you go as far as to wishing her dead or wanting her to be removed from the home she feels safe and loved in? How is that thinking of the children?

As for the douchebag in that screenshot. You claim that if your mother did something like that you would want nothing to do with her… I have a question: Do you know EVERYTHING your mother do? Does she include you in each aspect of her life? Even her sexual life? No?

How do you know she doesn't do thing you don't approve of when you're not around? She could be a rabid pornmag reader for all you know. But stuff like that is something adults hide from their kids. So, you wouldn't know, unless you go snooping around in her business.

Everyone is entitled to privacy. What I and my husband do when our kid is not around is our business, not hers, and certainly not yours.

Porn and parenting are to be kept separate from each other. Period.

And we do.

There is absolutely no reason to be worried about my daughter. She is a happy, healthy child in a safe, stable home with family that loves her and cares for her. Not just me and my husband, but also grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

If you want to remove her from that over a stupid fanfic behind a mature content wall, you're the deranged person, not me.

 This is all I have to say about all this and my time in the TTTE fandom. I have left by my own, free will. Yes, I am aware that many people don't want me there. That's fine. I don't want to be there.

I am a bit disappointed in those people who just blindly unfollowed me and unfriended me without any questions asked, just followed the leader. Big users tend to dictate who and what is worth following in that fandom. They will even protect real predators, but I'm not going to open that can of worms now. I'm done with the fandom.

Some of those people, I have been talking to regularly, even supported when they faced hardships in the fandom themselves. But when I got in trouble, they ditched me without a word…

If anything, this whole ordeal showed me who to trust and not, and who were true to their word when it came to how deep our friendship was. True friends at least give you the chance to explain before they drop you. I hold no ill feelings to those who did, at least they asked me before judging.

And those who still stayed with me, are the ones who truly know me and who I really am.

Some of the worst libels posted about me might be reported to the police, but I haven't made up my mind yet. I am not mentally strong at the moment, so I don't know if I have the strength to legally follow it all up. I will ask the cops at work for advice on the matter.

All I ask for now is some peace.

You don't have to like me. You don't have to follow me. You don't have to like my content. Feel free to invalidate me, I know a lot of you will.

But please, stop bullying me and my family.

Please stop sending me horrid messages and death threats.

Please stop doxxing me and calling me.

Please leave my family alone. If you don't care about me, at least care about them.

Please just ignore me. I have already left the fandom, there is no reason to keep hunting me.

I just want to move on and go on with my life and the content I am currently working on. After years in therapy, my life has gotten better, and I want to move on.

Please let me.

[aedanstarfang]

Welcome to Morgyn’s Drag Race

I've been away from my blog for quite a while, working on a (stupid) project that has occupied my time. And like all defiantly proud persons, I needed to see through this project to the end...and I also had fun (kinda) working on it. So without further ado, here is the Blogspot premiere of Morgyn's Drag Race: Season One!

Having made its official premiere on August 30, 2020; Morgyn's Drag Race was originally just a fun side-project that blew up into a full size in going 'The Sims' mini series. Meet the Cast

Morgyn Ember

Hailing from the Magic Realm, hidden deep within Glimmerbrook; Morgyn is a non-binary sim though that does not make him ineligible from being one of the sickest drag queens in Sim Nation (look up the real world history of Drag; trans and NB persons were the pioneers of drag culture).

Morgyn introduces himself as the 'head judge' of the inaugural season of Drag Race, alongside his co-judges; Siobhan Fyres and Izzy Fabulous, truly a stylish and LGBTQIA+ inclusive judging panel.

Morgyn's critiques of the queens come from the heart and he laces every critique with a compliment, embracing and appreciating said queen's individuality while criticizing their work. Morgyn can be best described as an fair, constructive and sensitive judge, and unlike real world judge/critics such as Rupaul or Simon Cowell; Morgyn actually critiques the queen's runway rather than barking out trendy one-liners or simply discrediting a queen's work because 'he doesn't like it'.

Siobhan & Izzy make up the rest of the judging panel acting as the defacto Michelle Visage and Santino Rice respectively; though it's a little deeper than that. Siobhan Fyres is more like co-judge 'Stacey McKenzie' of Canada's Drag Race or former Drag Race judge 'Merle Ginsberg', often giving constructive criticism while not shying away from criticizing a queen's sloppiness or lack of runway presence.

Izzy could be compared to ex-Drag Race judge 'Santino Rice', though that comparison falls a little flat when you see that Izzy's personality is less sharp-tongued and 'mean girl'-esque and more blunt and impartial on similar lines as 'Simon Cowell' or 'Piers Morgan'. Izzy openly displays boredom or disinterest within the first few seconds of seeing a queen's runway, and is often chided by Morgyn for being too hasty.

The Pilot or first episode showed us Eliza Pancakes acting as Morgyn's second-in-command as a literal expy of drag race judge 'Michelle Visage', being very quick to dismiss a queen for being weird or different, criticizing a queen's look for not being 'trendy' or 'mainstream' enough and even going so far as taking offense with an Asian queen's pun-name.  She was fired by the second episode and instead blackmailed placed into a hosting position of 'What's In the Bag?', which is basically a Sims version of 'Whatcha Packin?' It's a humorous after show type of series that revolves around Eliza interviewing eliminated queens, all the while getting several jabs in at Morgyn, the producers, the company and of course shading the guest queen themselves.

The Contestants

Morgyn's Drag Race was announced on August of this year, which included a special series of 'Meet the Queens' videos focusing on all twelve of the competing queens. This season I am proud to say that it features a diverse range of queens ranging in size, nationality, gender identity and drag/performance style.

The initial twelve 'meet the queens' videos are still available to watch on my youtube channel, however they will soon be made irrelevant as newer, updated MTQ videos shall take their place - featuring a fluid, solid theme for the promo (which never got an official release oops!)

So without further ado, let's do further and get to know these twelve quirky queens shall we (in alphabetical order)? (*Note: That characters who are competing drag queens are referred to as 'her/she' and 'he/him' interchangeably via the rule of 'when a queen is in drag they are she, when they are out of drag they are he, there are of course expections).

Also, MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD - YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Baga Trash

Sy Jefferies

AKA "

Baga Trash

" 34, is a well-known drag performer from Windenburg. Now I know what you're probably thinking; "he's an obvious parody of Baga Chipz" well no, not really. While Baga Trash IS a British queen (even if my impression is shite), he was inspired by several different characters and queens including but not limited to 'Tammie Brown' and 'Daphne Moon'. Baga aspires to become the world's top trash queen, and applauds 'trashion' as the style of the future. Interestingly enough, Baga Trash has little to no interest in ANY of the features from Eco Lifestyle, odd since dumpster diving is right up her ally.

Caliente

Nicholas Contreras

aka

"Caliente",

at 24 is one of the youngest competing queens this season right after Terra Ryzen. Caliente prides herself on her youth, beauty and bubbly personality and actively proclaims her "youthful vigor" to be the secret to success. Now what is "youthful vigor" you might ask? Youthful Vigor is the total tetratic composition of youth, attractiveness or beauty, personality and talent. With that mantra in mind, Caliente remains ever cheerful and confident throughout the competition.      Having originally been brought up on a large farm in Brindleton Bay, Caliente was no stranger to receiving the occasional odd glance from passersby as she gallivanted down main street in her pink designer miniskirts and halter tops, and to be honest she loved the attention more than anyone could know, this of course would boost her confidence into moving out to Newcrest where she would officially compete for the title of 'Morgyn's Magical Queen'.

Crow

Corbin Corvidae

AKA

"Crow"

30, is an adventurous and experienced queen hailing from Oasis Springs. As many would point out that Crow has glaringly obvious similarities to a certain

real life queen

and I will be 100% honest, yes Crow is an homage to many former Drag Race queens. Crow's personality I think is what sets her apart and standalone from other queens, both real life and fictitious. The most obvious similarities being Crow's seemingly bitter attitude towards the younger queens (particularly Caliente and Terra Ryzen), which plays into the same trope of "

this is a competition

" and "

blame the edit

". When starting Morgyn's Drag Race, we needed an antithesis to who we figured would be the standout protagonists of the season (being either Galaxia, Lapis or Caliente) and Crow fits that bill nicely.

Crow's moniker stems from her fascination with the color black, darkness, midnight and the very bird itself while the demeanor and overall look of her character is derived from her love of the 1990's film of the same name. Crow's experience and expertise with drag make her a force to be reckoned with, while her demure and sultry demeanor set her apart from the competition. Regardless of how you feel about Miss Crow, no one can deny that she serves some serious looks each time she hits the runway

Extra

Lance Proffitt

(pronounced 'Pro-feet') aka

"Extra"

29, is a professional

"background artist"

from Del Sol Valley, and no we're not talking about the actual profession of the

same name

we're talking about an

extra

, as in an uncredited background character in a film or series. Basically Extra is really talented at not being the lead character in movies or TV.  Extra's personality is kind of a composition of an egotistical and yet eerily self-aware celebrity. Extra doesn't NEED others to remind him that he's a star, because in his world he is already a star. He mentions in his initial "talking head" during Episode One/Pilot that he had background roles in such serials as;

"Touched by an Alien"

,

"Abducted for Real"

and

"The Great Awful Cook-off"

. He also noted in his

"What's In the Bag"

segment with Eliza Pancakes, that he is a musical queen and that his talent for the talent show challenge would have been a live rendition of his hit song;

"Boy is a Bear"

. This is a bit of a spoiler so I rupologize in advance, but even Extra's book title for episode six;

"Suck More"

must be a callback to a certain real world queen, right? Whatever the case, Extra's willing to put int the time so long as you're willing to pay the dime.

Fortuna Cookie

Shūfáng Shāncháhuā ('Shu' for short) aka "Fortuna Cookie" 25, is a young queen from Strangerville who's motto is undoubtedly "here to make it queer", has certainly came to the right show hasn't she? Shu started drag at a shockingly young age; 3, when she dressed up in her mom's clothes and makeup and impersonated 'Miss Piggy' to entertain her family, though they were more red-faced from secondhand-embarrassment than laughter.

  Cookie is a very artistic and personable queen, having done drag professionally since at least high school and performed at the 8-Bells in Strangerville since her university days at Britechester. She was taken in by her would be drag-mother, 'Mint Cookie' and quickly made friends with newfound family; 'Sugar Cookie', 'Fudge Cookie' and 'Samoa Cookie'. Shu's drag name had always just been 'Fortuna' (for luck) before being adopted by the Haus of Cookie, where she became "Fortuna Cookie".

Galaxia

Cosmo Nebulon AKA "Galaxia" 28, is quite possibly the most unique queen in this lineup; not only is she the only queen from Sixam, but also the very first 'Alien' contestant in the series history (but surely not to be the last). Galaxia moved to Del Sol Valley shortly before being cast on "Morgyn's Drag Race", because as he puts it the "drag scene on Sixam is boring!" Self-described 'Xenomorph Queen' Galaxia certainly has a lot in common with real life queens such as 'Alaska' and 'Pandora Boxx', though I think Galaxia's uniqueness in both style and personality make him standout from the crowd, that and he's "a fucking alien!" 

For everyone who's seen the initial airing of the pilot will know that Galaxia is here to bring it on a galactic level, having aced the "Trash to Treasure" challenge seemingly flawlessly (though editing does play a part in EVERY reality series) and unanimously impressed the judging panel, even stone-cold bitch Eliza Pancakes. Spoilers ahead for recently dropped Episode 5; Snatch Game saw Galaxia in the bottom for the first time, but little did her competition know that she was no slouch because she TURNED. IT. OUT! Not one, not two, but three reveals during the lipsync - I COULD NOT, BELIEVE IT (and I'm the one who created everything)"! Clearly Galaxia is not playing around and takes the competition VERY seriously, going so far as to plan ahead for a possible lipsync for your life with three reveals to boot, it's curious what else she had planned up her sleeve for the previous runways and if she had similar reveals planned.

Icy

Myron Frost AKA "Icy" 27, of Willow Creek came to the competition pulling no punches and dressing to impress from the get-go. Icy began drag during her teen years, and started performing professionally during college. Aside from being the series' first black queen to walk through those doors, Icy also brought her own sense of style and class to the initial competition. Professionalism, style, and class are all words synonymous with Icy; a queen who carries herself as though she has already won (because let's be honest, you NEED a fiery attitude in order to get ahead in these sorts of contests). Though behind the confident and stunning exterior, belies a person who detests drama of any sort, and can be seen at any time an argument erupts - Icy is sure to stay out of the line of sight.

When I think of Icy, I think of former Drag Race queens who carried a similar air of confidence, professionalism and style such as Chad Michaels and Jaida Essence Hall, though honestly Icy is as much her own identity as anyone else, and the aforementioned queens merely served as inspiration, vocal fry and all.

Jackqleen Qkwueeen

Jackson King AKA "Jackqleen Qkwueeen" 37, is Magnolia Promenade's premiere expert in classical theater and the bardic arts. And I'm not going to start this article off with a lie, when I conceptualized Jackqleen I had originally envisioned a different kind of queen entirely which can be seen in her original 'Meet the Queens' video, which if I'm being honest, pretty much all of the queens had different personalities and quirks that differ from their current/later personas. Jackqleen was originally supposed to be a faux Shakespearean expert who would occasionally slip into talking with her rural dialect or twang, which I disliked for a multitude of reasons and decided that making Jackqleen a legitimate, classically trained thespian of Magnolia Promenade, was more interesting. And to make her standout vocally and personality-wise, I just kept picturing Frasier Crane. 

Despite having fallen into the bottom two the first episode, and let's be honest that "Trash to Treasure" challenge was not tailored to make everyone look good, which in Jackqleen's case made her look worse than Velvetta Baggins, whom was described as someone having walked out of a day spa. We can't deny that Jackqleen has a refined and sophisticated outlook to drag, and that being a professional theater actor can only help propel her career as a drag artist

Lapis

Bleau Rathbone AKA "Lapis" 31, is one of San Myshuno's most eclectic, eccentric and unique artists. Having performed drag since his nineteenth birthday; Bleau introduced himself in drag to the world of performance art for the first time and then and there 'Lapis' was born (*Note: Lapis prefers to be referred to as 'they/them', but only when in full drag). Lapis' namesake stems from the gemstone itself 'lapis lazuli', the fact that it is mostly blue and their love for the color blue, taking all of these facets into consideration it's not hard to see why Lapis incorporates everything into their drag.

If you've been watching 'Morgyn's Drag Race' since Episode One, then you're already familiar with just how iconic a queen that Lapis is, having served looks since Episode One with the upcoming Episode 7 and 8 possibly being their strongest serves yet. Lapis believes in and identifies with the individual, priding themselves with being as unique and as standout as possible all while continuing to stay on-brand with the Lapis name (everything blue, black, eclectic and electric).

Parsley

Parsley 32, is quite possibly the single-most polarizing figure from 'Morgyn's Drag Race'. Hailing from Evergreen Harbor, Parsley describes herself as being "lean, green and mean" and the "green meanie". The second she steps through the entryway she insults her competition by calling them all "douchebags" (originally calling them "motherfuckers"), and also easily dismisses them as being 'basic', 'boring' and 'not impressive'. With a raspy growly voice that would give Patty & Selma a run for their money. 

Parsley was inundated into the world of drag years back when she lived in San Myshuno and roomed with a popular Drag Queen named 'Darren Leek', who at the time was also her roommate. Darren welcomed Parsley into the Leek family of drag, becoming her drag-mother in the process. Though Parsley stood out from the crowd, having picked a green theme and sticking to it, she polarized a large majority of folks she came into contact with, many finding her to be rude while others found her to be downright terrifying. Parsley's own drag-mother, Darren Leek cut ties with her because of her behavior, and quite possibly out of fear.

Terra Ryzen

Scotch Golddig

AKA

"Terra Ryzen"

22, is another queen hailing from Strangerville and is also the youngest competing queen in the competition to date. Some who have browsed the Sims reddit may remember Scotch making a few appearances

pre-drag race

as "

Florida Man

", a member of the infamous "Golddig" clan; a family of reputed 'gold-diggers' who are always looking for their next claim. His grandmother, 'Dusty Bones' made occasional appearances on reddit as a burnt-out version of '

Matilda the Chef

'.

Terra enters the competition as the youngest queen and also the most inexperienced, asking the more experienced queens for help with her makeup and nails shortly after making her entrance. Terra is almost immediately denigrated by her older, more experiences co-competitors as being "busted" and looking a "mess", though despite all that Terra manages to maintain a confidence bordering on cockiness that she will succeed and in fact win the competition, though anyone having seen the first episode will know Terra's ultimate fate.

Velvetta Baggins

Wilberforce Armitage XVII AKA "Velvetta Baggins", is an oldschool queen from Windenburg. She speaks with a High-British or a classically 'posh British' accent, and frequently bemoans about all of the times that the French ave supposedly terrorized her and her comrades while on active duty during the war, which war you ask? She can't remember, though it was likely sometime during the ice age as woolly mammoths and spear-throwing cavemen were involved. The running gag involving Velvetta is that she is old, like really very old. In truth she is probably somewhere around 50-55 years old, however Caliente refers to Velvetta as being "90" in her talking head and Terra Ryzen speculates that she is from the Mesozoic era, basically Velvetta is the oldest queen of the season which makes her target for everyone else. A pianist classically trained in the styles of baroque, Velvetta has entertained audiences for generations and continues to do so using her oldschool style, while fellow Windenburg queen Baga Trash utilizes modern pop culture and of course 'rubbish' to entertain audiences. What's interesting about fellow Windenburg Queens; Velvetta and Baga Trash is that they are both so intrinsically different, despite hailing from the same place. It can be argued that since Velvetta has been performing drag at a time since before Baga Trash, that the two styles will naturally be different.

I think the truth of the matter is that Velvetta is just another quirky, cooky queen with a bizarre sense of humor and a unique self-styled sense of fashion, not unlike Tammie Brown. The constant callbacks to the wartime tactics and the French are either a clever joke in the guise of obfuscating reality or she actually is senile and is suffering from false memories, either way Velvetta certainly is an interesting queen to have on the stage.

So now that you've gotten to know our judges, and all twelve contestants on a more personal level, maybe you will remember to set that timer to watch 'Morgyn's Drag Race' this Sunday, at 12:45 PM Pacific Standard Time.

[canumoveurseatup-no]

Shadow and Shade Casting List (Part 2)

HAPPY 800 FOLLOWES BTW!!! Here is part 2 of the casting list! This part will contain more of the sons. Next part will contain her siblings. Everyone in the cast is 18+ !!! I should have just added Elpis to part 1 but I wasn’t thinking.

ANYWAY! Enjoy and let me know what ya think!

———

Amber Riley as Elpis, Goddess of Hope:

Daughter of Nyx.

Abilities:

-control over hope and expectation

-can temporarily project her consciousness to locations where hope is especially strong

-can blind opponents with hope which falters their attacks

Home: Pandora’s Box, sometimes goes to Tartarus to spend time with her family

Personality/Traits: If anyone is an optimist through and through it’s her! Elpis is very uplifting and inspirational. She’s a natural-born leader and always tries to be the boss when her siblings fight and you’re away taking care of business. She’s such a motivational speaker and highly driven. She does not give up easily.

Quote: “I, Elpis, the Spirit of Hope, would not abandon humanity. Hope does not leave without being given permission. I can only be released by a child of man,”

———-

Tyler James Williams as Aether, God of Light:

Son of Nyx. He rules over light and the upper skies. A Protogenoi

Abilities:

-Unparalleled Aerokinesis: air/wind manipulation and pure air generation.

-Advanced Psychokinesis: flight, teleportation, and telekinesis

-Nephelokinesis: can control and create clouds

-Atmokinesis: can control the weather conditions

-Photokinesis: absolute control over light

Home: Tartarus during the night. Up in the clouds with Hemera during the day.

Personality/Traits: Believe it or not, for a God with a big responsibility, he is childish! He can be a bit obnoxious but loves having a good time. He has a bubbly personality just like Hemera, they might as well be twins tbh. He’s really sweet and tries to brighten everyone’s day, literally.

Quote: “I am Aether. The light and air God, who can in fact, be a true air head”

——-

Cameron Boyce as Moros, God of Doom:

Son of Nyx. His twin sister is Akhyls.

Abilities:

-can project an illusion of one’s possible doom

-can bestow false doom on someone (making them run into minor/weird accidents)

-can induce feelings of depression and/or pessimism

-becomes stronger in the presence of depression, pessimism, and gloomy people

-able to see when someone’s doom is near

Home: Tartarus

Personality/Traits: He becomes really excited when in the presence of people who are gloomy or depressed. He loves playing with people’s minds and enjoys causing fear. He loves dark things and while his siblings often have a splash of some sort of color in their room he does NOT. He loves his stuff black and dark. He is an absolute sadist, whether it be with actual sex or just causing people mental and psychological pain.

Quote: “Fear not death for the hour of your doom is set and none may escape it”

———

Kyle Forde as Hypnos, God of Sleep:

Son of Nyx. Twin brother to Thanatos.

Abilities:

-Somnokinesis: the ability to manipulate and control sleep functions of one’s self or others (astral projection, dream manipulation, nightmare manipulation, ability to cause one to not be able to sleep, subconscious manipulation, sleep inducement etc)

-Memory Erasure

-Flight

-Shapeshifting

-Hypnosis

Home: Tartarus

Personality/Traits: He’s not a villain or immoral but he is irresponsible af. If you’re looking for him you will most likely catch him sleeping! And boy is he lazy as well as cowardly.

Quote: “Dreams are as simple or as complicated as the dreamer”

————

Brandon Mychal Smith as Momus, God of Satire, Blame and Mockery:

Son of Nyx.

Abilities:

-able to create a field of energy around one to make them feel an incredible amount of guilt, embarrassment and self-pity.

-can ridicule his opponent so bad it lowers their battling skills

-can mock his opponent attacks and alter it against their will.

-enpowered when someone around him is mocked or ridiculed

-can induce laughter in others

Home: mainly roams on Earth but sometimes Tartarus

Personalitys/Traits: Momus whines A LOT! He’s really funny though, like he can barely go a minute without cracking a joke or mocking someone. Always blaming other people but never takes the blame for himself

Quote: “Fools are my theme. Let satire be my song”

———

Lance Gross as Geras, God of Old Age:

Son of Nyx. Such a mama’s boy tbh

Abilities:

-Senescence: power to accelerate a persons age

-can age an opponent, slowing them down

-can curse one with senility for time

Home: Tartarus

Personality/Traits: He’s usually really serious and isn’t too fond of mortals. He likes to stay to himself. He hates Momus’ mockery and doesn’t find things funny really.

Quote: “I am darker still! I dim the eyes and addle the brain. Every mortal fears old age!”

———

Brian J. White as Thanatos, God of Peaceful Death:

Son of Nyx. Keres’ opposite. Twin brother to Hypnos.

FUN FACT!: Thanatology, the scientific study of death, was named after him, as well as Thanatophobia, the fear of death.

Abilities:

-Necromancy: has absolute control over death and the dead (can call the souls of the deceased forward to aide them)

-Can kill someone with just a touch

-Doors of Death Control: can easily pass between the world of the living and the dead. (He refers to the “Doors of Death” as “The Doors of Me”

-Flight: with his huge dark wings he can quickly glide through the air, this in turn helps him capture escaped souls.

-Invisibility: he uses this so he doesn’t have to reap souls directly, instead he does so invisible.

-Can drain the life-force of his opponent, making them weaker and slower

-can see anyone’s lifespan but is forbidden to share that with the person.

-Shadow Travel: anywhere that is dark (such as shadows) he can easily and quickly travel through them.

-Soul Splitting: can split his soul to make more than one of him

Home: the Underworld

Personality/Traits: Thanatos is obviously undiscriminating. He is quite morbid even though he is the God of Peaceful Death. He favors the idea of omnicide (human extinction, which plays a big role in the story obviously) He shares a mutual hate for the other Gods and Goddesses as well as mortals. He doesn’t like spending time with his family. He likes all things quiet and peaceful believe it or not. As the God of Death, he hates the idea of people losing their lives violently, which is why he absolutely despises his sister Keres.

Quote: “To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure. The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at anytime.”

———

SHADOW AND SHADE PART 2 WILL BE POSTED ONCE PART 3 OF THE CAST IS POSTED!!!

Hope y’all like it!! Let me know what you think!!

Tags: @sideeffectsofyou @chonisberonica @majikmelanin @vozit @mirajanestrauss1999 @scarletlingeries @babybubastis @whothehellisbinky @amandahq @jillilama-blog @motivation-idontknowher @anise-d-castle6 @just-a-littlebit-of-everything @adreamemporium @ssaaraw @a-lumos-in-the-nox @blackreaders-assemble @mbaku-babygirl @unstable1902 @winksasleeplesseye @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @cutiepiemimi13 @celishaa-xx

[sevens-evan]

tagged by @elizadusku to pick five shows and answer the following questions.

1. btvs

2. chuck

3. agents of shield

4. legends of tomorrow

5. teen wolf??? i guess?? i literally can’t think of five shows i like asdkghdklsag

1. who is your favourite character in 2?

sarah fucking walker. literally the love of my life, the beginning of my obsession with female characters with dark pasts and self-destructive tendencies

2. who is your least favourite character in 1?

i mean. there are a few characters i can’t stand and anyone who follows me Knows who they are sjahglksa but most of them have redeeming qualities. i think it would come down to xander or riley for like. the Fewest upsides to their character

3. what is your favourite episode of 4?

mm that’s so hard there are so fucking many great episodes. but maybe the time loop one? where zari is stuck in the fake time loop the whole time. idk man i love zari so much and that one is a ton of fun, plus tala ashe is a great actress and that episode really shows it off

4. what is your favourite season of 5?

season one all the way. when they all still have terrible haircuts and it’s aggressively low budget and campy and just. beautiful

5. who is your favourite couple in 3?

skimmons of course. sweet lil gays we stan even if i never blog about them anymore

6. who is your favourite couple in 2?

chuck and sarah, the Most Valid Hets to ever live

7. what is your favourite episode of 1?

restless. i fucking love dream sequences, especially the ones in the buffyverse, and it makes the fantasy nerd in me Scream

8. what is your favourite episode of 5?

it. has been so long since i watched a significant amount of that show that i do not remember asjkdglksd. um i remember really liking a lot of the 6a episodes, the ones where they’re lydia-centric but with like. hints of stiles in the background? really fuckin good episodes man.

9. what is your favourite season of 2?

season 3. it was the peak of the show imo in terms of plotlines actually making any sense at all asdgkljasdg and chuck and sarah of course and like. casey being around and morgan not being Too involved yet (i do love him but. they did some Questionable things with his character in s4/s5).

10. how long have you watched 1?

about three years maybe?

11. how did you become interested in 3?

i genuinely don’t remember. i think it got recommended to me on netflix and i was like okay the main girl is hot i guess i’ll watch and now here we are

12. who is your favourite actor in 4?

either tala ashe or courtney ford

13. which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5?

btvs in terms of loving the show, but chuck is my comfort show. and i love teen wolf but it’s not even on the same level sadkghalsd

14. which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3?

btvs probably, just because i’ve seen the whole thing and i dropped off of aos like six or seven episodes in season 5

15. if you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?

i would probably wanna be...it’s a tough question because everyone’s got a tragic backstory lmao, but maybe ray just so i could be rich i guess

16. would a crossover between 3 and 4 work?

dc/marvel would be a licensing nightmare but God i would Love to see sara lance and daisy johnson meet so. like plot wise it totally would. the legends could accidentally end up in an alternate universe, they’re dysfunctional enough for that to be 100% believable

17. pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple.

i ship Many weird ships from buffy but i Love a good buffy/tara or cordelia/anyone who isn’t xander. ALSO @jenny-calendar has had me shipping jenny/anya recently, and i also kinda love the idea of anya/faith? OOH and anya/willow. i think i mostly just ship xander’s girlfriends with anyone who isn’t xander asdkjghsjkdgh they all deserve better

18. overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5?

neither is coherent or good honestly but i guess in terms of like. Not Sucking aos is probably better just because teen wolf had the dread doctors or whatever the fuck they were called and that shit made No sense. but honestly i like some of teen wolf’s plot lines better? like the ghost riders were cool as shit and the nogitsune was awesome. i would say teen wolf left more of an impression on me in terms of plot with the Maybe exception of the inhumans plotline on aos, although they could’ve pulled that shit off Way better than they did.

19. which has the better theme music, 2 or 4?

does legends even have theme music? either way chuck wins honestly

[real-fakedoors]

You must have gotten this question a lot but... how did you get the idea for star-crossed? And how’d you develop the world? I was really inspired by how you detailed your story to create such an amazing image for us readers of the world; especially when it got down to politics, the watches, characterizations and the planets-turned-countries. I’m currently writing (or trying to write) a book of my own, and I’ve been struggling with how to incorporate those kind of details. Do you have any advice?

hello & thank you for the ask! what a wonderful question, and an even more glowing compliment!! my heart is so full :,)

it’s a mixture of a few things, and I’m happy to break it down further if you’d like, but allow me to lay out my basic approach to writing in general & this fic specifically. I’ll try to address each question the best I can!

1. Ideas born from ideas

Music - I’m one of those people who draw on other sources of inspiration – especially music. All three of my most popular stories were at least first thought of by songs. (star-crossed was inspired by Constellations by The Oh Hellos).

Reference material/research - I’ve tried to be as explicit as possible in star-crossed when I describe/utilize the design of another creator for the basis of my work (like all of Lance’s pretty outfits), but in general, having reference material is the MOST IMPORTANT thing. I’ve done a ton of research on medieval culture, cuisine, buildings, and courts. A good example of this is from Chapter 16: The Prisoner’s Dilemma, I had no freakin’ idea how to describe a battlement, or what that even was – hence me googling “what is the top of a castle wall called” > they’re called battlements, got it! > google image, battelments 

There, I found this:

and from that, I wrote this:

Quietly, they climbed until the highest reaches opened around them, a large plane of dark stone, stained by ombre rust to near-black on opposing ends of the terrace. A very small amount of snow had gathered, but most of it had blown away in the wind –  some small catches had gathered in pockets of shade, where the perimeter wall was buttressed by columns of scaffolding that each came to a point. They were massive structures, like stone arrows pointing towards the heavens; vaguely, Lance remembered one of his mother’s stories about a fletcher’s workshop for the gods; the sweep magnificence of the architecture, certainly lent itself to a sense of the divine and otherworldly greatness.

Linear plot - In terms of figuring out what I want to accomplish in the story, and in the chapters, I quite literally depend on my notes. I tend to get over-eager and want to do a lot in one chapter, so I force myself to map things out in accordance to time rather than events, and that helps me maintain something of a regular pace.

There are a few things I knew I had to have happen in the story, and some of it filled in naturally as I began writing. Here’s a picture of my office from the week I began writing star-crossed.

(the text on the sticky notes doesn’t really matter; but pink are plot points and yellow are narrative themes)

If you squint – an example – Tuesday was supposed to be the day of the bombing, originally. All of the tension and build up and worries about the murder plot were never actually going to happen, as it was going to be wrong-place/wrong-time as a bomb went off in the city. Lance was always intended to get caught up in it instead of Keith as the target, but that obviously didn’t end up happening.

Why? As I wrote the beginning chapters, I had to remind myself that Keith is the Prince of Marmora, of which their expertise is spy networks and information. It didn’t seem feasible to me that such a large scale attack could occur in Marmora without the Blade knowing about it, which is why the attention ended up shifting towards the ball specifically.

Prompts - I am also of the belief that there is no reason to reinvent the wheel. There are wonderful, wonderful authors and writers out there who generate material specifically designed to help writers kickstart ideas; I collected a huge Google Doc of these when I first started star-crossed just to keep my head in accordance with the right themes. Rarely do I use a prompt word-for-word because they never really fit exactly what I’m writing, but the tone of the language often helps me in moments when I’m stuck. Here’s a sampling (and I am sorry, I didn’t think to mark the original blogs I took these from:

“The world was in flames. People were in need of laughter.”

“The world was in flames” helped me to derive some of the terrible disaster that came on the third night of the ball. I just really like that visual, so much orange and red light, and the unbearable heat.

“You can feel the world blooming and withering around you while you’re in prison.”

This sort of… live-and-die, questioning mortality thing, while in “prison” helped me to build Lance’s internal monologue while he was in the cellar.

“If I ignored destiny, so can you.”

Because Klance.

“I was waiting for a chance to ask you to dance with me, but you were gone.”

A knife-twist of how, though this was loosely inspired by the premise of Cinderella, Keith only got to ask Lance to dance twice over the course of three days – in part because Lance was always gone or with someone else, but also because Keith was equally tied up in the expectation that he was to dance with anyone who asked him.

The watches - That was my hope of tying in the paladin’s bayard. It was theoretically impossible to have a magical weapon appear in the hands of four teenagers and an adult without it raising many conspicuous questions, so I needed something a little more subtle. There’s still some… [redacted] about time that has to [redacted] before [redacted] can [redacted], so I can’t say much more than that. :,)

Pomp, Circumstance & Politics (oh my!) - okay, sorry, I couldn’t resist. heh. but, yeah, I don’t know if I can point to one specific thing in particular that gave rise to the political quagmire of this story. It’s definitely been inspired by an array of existing media – Downton Abbey certainly helped shape the “upper class” vs. “lower class” treatment. I also really enjoy historical readings. fiction or nonfiction, pertaining to wars: Ken Burn’s Vietnam War, for instance, helped remind me of the massive impact the decisions of few can have on the many. Whether or not you support a war, or a policy in Marmora’s case, can have devastating after-effects for the people beneath you. Keith and Krolia happen to be very conscious of this. But even so, there will always be a level of detachment from their view of the “many” (in which Lance, Hunk and Pidge fall), and this is never so apparent as when things are told from Lance’s POV. He’s just another person. He’s just one person. One of the hundred of thousands that would be effected by the daily decisions of Keith or Krolia, and it is that constant tension between “big picture” and “small picture” that I try to draw out in the on-going struggles had by the characters.

2. For me, the character’s are the world. 

That’s not me being poetic or anything – let me explain.

Imagine this: Suppose there is a person who has been devoid of all of their senses, all of their life – no touch, no smell, no hearing – nothing. Then suppose, one day, they are shaken from this catatonic state for the first time. Their senses now free, how would they experience this scene I am writing? What is so prevailing to the senses that it demands to be included in the narrative?

That is how I write my my worlds, at least descriptively. I try to pick out a few key things someone wouldn’t be able to help but notice.

This is great for characterization, too, because I can tweak the premise of the “feelingless individual” to suit how I imagine my characters. 

Keith, for example, from star-crossed – a few things I keep in mind when writing him: he is constantly frustrated by his inability to act on his impulses, so when he does it is extra satisfying. He’s keenly aware of the mannerism of others because of his upbringing in the court – if they have a weapon on their hip, for instance, is something he would notice in a heartbeat.

There were certain ticks to look for in a person trying to get too close: the ways their eyes moved, where their hands sat, what sort of clothing they wore. Was it something trim and fitted to make for an easy escape, or something bulky with a dozen pockets to hide any manner of weapon? Were those chemical burns on their hands from working with unstable materials? Did they look restless, liked they’d been up all night debating with themselves to go through with such a monumental act?

Maybe it was just learned paranoia, but these were the small enough traits that most people wouldn’t notice.

Keith, however, was trained to notice.

Lance, on the other hand, is a little more indulgent but easily overwhelmed; he has been restricted his whole life, so he indulges often and easily, but that puts him in a vulnerable position that can (and has) left him open to being hurt by the world around him. He’s one who is going to notice the weather, the quality of the air, because those were things that held meaning to him when he lived in the mountains – he’s one to fixate on his own mistakes, because he’s used to them being pointed out to him.

Lotor wanted to take off his mask so it was one less thing getting in the way, an obstruction to peeling back Lance’s sense of self, his ideas and interests and beliefs balled up in and thrown in a bin, along with his name and his past, so that he could be some fucked up little prize for the guy’s own enjoyment.

The fucking betrayal of his own body, too. The flushed cheeks, the friction of his hips over Lotor’s… ugh. It wasn’t —  he didn’t want it, it didn’t feel good, but the physical sensation was demanding and his body literally could not do anything but respond, and the memory of that alone was enough to have him clutching his head between his knees, legs drawn up to his chest.

Why was this so confusing? It shouldn’t be, and that only made Lance more frustrated. Lotor was a selfish asshole who tried to use his title to his advantage and force Lance to do things he didn’t want to do. Lance had even succeeded in pushing him away and standing up for himself, but the triumph was bittersweet.

This mindset was especially critical when writing Chapter 14: Twenty-Six Hours, because it was the first time we delved into the consciousnesses of the other characters! (I’m just really happy with the way that one turned out *sob*)

Also, a note on villany: I really dislike one dimensional villains. I prefer when my evil comes with a healthy dose of “fuck I sort of agree with that… to an extent?”

Which is why writing Lotor’s big monologue in Chapter 16: The Prisoner’s Dileema was such a challenge. I had to make his treatment of Lance seem, in some fucked up version of reality, justifiable. Because really, Lotor is a product of circumstance; he was raised with his beliefs of the poor and especially of someone of Lance’s “status,” and was acting in such a way that reflected that up-bringing. Now, Keith was raised in similar circumstances and isn’t a huge piece of shit, so there’s no excuse for Lotor’s behavior – but it’s at least logical. You can imagine buying an ox that’s for sale at the market, and then using said ox to plow your fields; we don’t see that as cruel or as mistreatment. Lotor sees Lance as little more than that, and so, in giving him lots of attention and “validation” (something that we know canon-Lotor was unfortunately lacking), it stands to reason that he was in fact trying to be kind to Lance, to treat him with a warped sense of respect.

…okay, that’s all for now! I really hope this helps and wasn’t too long-winded, like everything I do. you’ve effectively made my morning, anon, and I hope you have a wonderful day. my best wishes and luck to you while writing you story! 

[trinkets-and-spirits]

Get to Know Me! (Tag Game) 🎲

O o f. Considering the fact that I never get tagged in stuff, I’m hella all about @meek-minded-masochist tagging me in a get to know me. I feel honoured.

RULES: Answer seventeen questions and then tag twenty one blogs you’d like to know better!

1) Nickname? Free, by online friends made on fanfiction.net ; Eph, as a reference to the previously mentioned, tho spelt differently to match the spelling of my first name ; and Marie...’cause it’s my middle name lmao. 😊

2) Star-Sign? Taurus~ ♉

3) Height? 5′5″ (Altho I just got these k i c k a s s platforms, which rock me up to above 5′8″ — so you can BET that I’m hella happy about top shelves, lmaoo.)

4) Last Film I Saw? Uh...Barbie as the Island Princess. 😂😂 I’m reliving my childhood memories at the moment, rip. Usually I don’t really watch movies tho; so I’ve been watching mostly Riverdale, re-watching RWBY bc I need my fix, and I’m currently plotting out the best time to watch the newest episode of The Walking Dead. I don’t wanna be disturbed, when I’m screaming over JDM. 😉

5) Favourite Musician? Hm. I’m pretty much a fan of anyone who sounds good, w/ a kickin’ beat & all of that—but my current top three? NF, Billie Eilish, Hozier. Oh! I’m also a huge Dropkick Murphy’s fan, but I haven’t listened to them much lately. I love them to shreds tho. ALSO!! Daughter & Caravan Palace, bc…yes.

6) Song Stuck in my Head? This Life is Mine by Casey Lee Williams, and every possible version of Country Roads. My head is...i n t e r e s t i n g.

7) Do I get Asks? Nah. Nobody interacts w/ my blog unless I’m offering free tarot readings, tho I used to get one or two asks from beginner witches. …Not any more tho. Not that I’m complaining. I hate answering ‘does X love me??’ & having people flood my ask box w/ ‘so J hates me, but im gonna use a love potion on them to force them into having romantic feelings. thoughts?’ Like. Eck.

8) Other Blogs? Not right now!! But I’m planning on making a RWBY RP Neo blog this week, so I’ll likely post a promo or two, but we’ll see. 🍦

9) Blogs Following? Followers: 222 ; Following: 414.

10) What am I Wearing? Grey doggo themed pyjama pants, black inspirational-esque tank top about the sun; moon; and adventure, and a grey hoodie bc I’m fuckin’ freezing. I’m also wearing blue fluffy bed socks, bc splash of colour.

11) Dream Job? I’d love to be a published author, but I’d settle for being a commentary YouTuber, or even a free-lance photographer. Options are open.

12) Dream Trip? I’d love to travel through Scandinavia; Asia; and Europe. Anywhere with beautiful scenery, fascinating culture & history, m y t h o l o g y.

13) Play Any Instruments? I used to play the clarinet, as well as the flute, but I fell outta practise. I’d love to get back into the flute, bc it’s literally so pretty. ❤

14) Languages? English & BSL. I studied Japanese, but I...forgot most of it, rip. I also grew up in a majorly Welsh-speaking family & neighbourhood, so I know a lot about my mother language, but the ability to speak it is...another horror story. I’d also be hella down to learn German & French, tho!! Such pretty languages!!

15) Favourite Food? …Stir Fry. 😍😋 I’m also a sucker for anything sweet; sugar is my aesthetic, to say the least. But I’m slowly balancing my diet out, lol.

16) Favourite Songs? O H J E S U S. I have way too many, so I’ll just list my top 4 favourite songs from the previously mentioned artists, bc…anything else is just downright cruel. Whoever made this tag is clearly working for the devil.

NF: 

WHY  Mansion    Outcast and Green Lights.

Billie Eilish: 

Lovely Bellyache  You Should See me in a Crown  and Copycat.  (I honestly love all of Billie’s songs, tho. She’s so fuckin perfect.)

Hozier: 

Work Song  Cherry Wine From Eden  and Arsonist’s Lullaby.

Dropkick Murphy’s: 

Johnny I Hardly Knew Ya’  Rose Tattoo Dirty Glass and Going Out in Style. 

(These boys are literally what got me through my depression when I was a wee kiddo who didn’t even know what depression was. I love them so much.)

Daughter:

Youth Flaws Burn It Down and Medicine.

(Life is Strange: Before the Storm was the best fucking game, and I’m so happy they used Daughter’s music so heavily!! It fits the game so well!!)

Caravan Palace: Black Betty Lone Digger Rock It For Me and Wonderland.

17) Random Fact? My niece & I snorted sherbet once as kiddos, bc we were dumbass kids who had this image of drugs being cool, thanks to TV shows & other influences. We cut the lemon sherbet into lines, and did it at the same time, and it hurt like n o t h i n g e l s e. Both of us were sobbing; it was a horrid gritty sensation; and both of us temporarily lost the ability to smell bc of that shit. My mother came rushing in; and I blamed it on my niece, and got away with it... Yeah. Don’t do sherbet or drugs, kids, it’s fucking painful.

Tagging: @deltanoid @smolpocketmonstercoffee @lunastreia @theheartofatrickster @lulloph @teaberrymagic …and those are the only blogs that come immediately to my mind. 😅😅 Sorry if anyone doesn’t like being tagged in stuff, but I always feel obligated when prompted, rip. 

[jbuffyangel]

Isn't interesting that KC was noticeably absent during SDCC? If the upcoming redemption for BS and vengeance for Quentin aren't something talked about at sdcc, could it be that BS/LL 2.0 aren't going to be relevant storylines going forward?? Or is it just wishful thinking that KC might be leaving the show, 2 years since her character was killed off?

Anon asked: Hello Jen just saw the s7 sizzle reel and confused and a bit annoyed that the writers are dragging along another season with BS. It seems she is still pretending to be LL and in what seems to be 1summer has gotten a law degree. So how do you think this redemption arc is going to work? BS is seeking absolution as someone else? Makes no sense. The one character that connects her to the narrative is dead, now she’s seeking vengeance for QL. How they twist the plot to fit BS? What’s ur take on this?

Anon asked: Hello Jen - Big fan of your blog and all your insights. I just read that they’re bring back KC as a regular next season. Why is it harder to get rid of L*rel/not L*rel from Arrow than getting gum off one’s shoe? I still love Olicity but after the loss of Thea and Lance, I’m definitely not too excited for next season. Your thoughts?

Uhhh… when was the last time KC’s character was relevant? When she died?

I don’t know the reason for KC’s absence, something about family commitments. I don’t think it’s a tip off that she’s leaving the show like it was at SDCC 2015. The lack of discussion around her character says to me she’ll have as much relevancy as she’s ever had, which ain’t much.

If the season theme is redemption then I’m sure BS will be trying to redeem herself to honor Quentin’s sacrifice (still so much ridiculousness). Quentin died for BS because he wanted to die for his L*urel, but couldn’t. 

What the man really needed was copious amounts of therapy, but what’s done is done. Arrow killed off the one character BS shared the most screen time with so I anticipate she’ll be playing a smaller role because of it. I’ve been wrong before, but time will tell.

Do I think it makes sense for BS to stick around and pretend to be LL? No. Quentin was her last “familial” connection in Star City and it was tenuous at best. I’d prefer to see BS on Legends and watch Sara grapple with the woman who wears her sister’s face, but is nothing like her. I’m sure I’m in the minority though.

I think the BS redemption will be a cycle of ups and downs. Sometimes she’ll be the better person and sometimes she won’t. The only real interesting element to the character is that she is evil - that she’s not Laurel. 

So, I think it would be a mistake for the show to ignore that completely and I don’t believe they will. From my perspective BS is the new Malcolm Merlyn. Merlyn always promised he changed, and every so often even did the right thing, but more often the character was working an angle that benefited him. And Oliver Queen never trusted Malcolm Merlyn. 

Beth did say a little something about Bl*ck S*ren’s storyline at SDCC:

“The demise of her father’s Earth-1 counterpart is a huge story point moving forward. She will try to live up to the L*urel L*nce legacy to make him proud. But her alter ego, Bl*ck S*ren, has her craving vengeance.”

Source: @legends-of-today

The real question for me is where does BS start the season? If she’s been on the straight and narrow for the last five months, pretending to be LL, then she’s starting out high. The pendulum will swing the other way. So, her arc could be trying to be a better person, but ultimately failing by season’s end. Just because the season’s theme is redemption doesn’t mean everyone will achieve it. This would be the more interesting route to me because it keeps the evil angle in play.

Look at it this way - what happens if Arrow fully redeems Bl*ck Sir*n? Her character arc is over the same way LL’s was over once she became Bl*ck C*nary. The writers are right back where they started, which is why they killed her off in the first place. 

So, this redemptive tug of war is one of the few storylines that keeps Bl*ck Sir*n interesting. Possibly.

Quite frankly, I was woefully disappointed in her character arc in S6. We started off with a bang in Season 5, but ended in a whimper. The writers relegated a powerful meta human to a damsel in distress. Bl*ck Sir*n was a ping pong ball Lance and Diaz batted between them. It was bizarre. 

And let’s keep in mind Bl*ck Sir*n’s need for revenge is a primary reason Diaz is free. She screwed up Oliver’s plan something big, so now his family is in witness protection while he sits in prison absolutely powerless to protect them.

BS isn’t winning any popularity contests with Team Arrow, no matter how many law books she crams or nice suits she wears. She’s an uncontrollable element, an X factor. That’s the only way she adds drama to the show. Remove that and there’s not much else.

Also, if you are expecting her ability to practice law to make sense may I remind you the writers thought LL was ready to fight crime after a couple boxing lessons. After they completely erased LL’s self defense classes, of course. Don’t try to make sense of it. Logic doesn’t apply to any version of this character.

Of course, my investment in Bl*ck Sir*n is biased because I am thoroughly apathetic about the character, just like I was with LL by the end. I own that. But let’s address what the LL fans really want. They want Bl*ck S*ren to be redeemed and become LL 2.0, take back the mantle of Bl*ck C*nary, and be in a romantic relationship with Oliver. 

1) Bl*ck S*renwill never be L*urel L*nce because she is a different character. 

She comes from a different world with an entirely different life experience. I’m not just saying this because it’s a LL doppelganger. If another Roy from a different earth arrives in Star City would we say that’s our Roy? OF COURSE NOT. Our Roy is off living his happily ever after with Thea wiping out Lazarus Pits. Is Nazis Oliver the same as our Oliver? NOOOOO! 

BS is a different character because it’s a different character. Anyone who cannot accept that can’t accept logic.

2) Bl*ck S*ren will never be Bl*ck C&nary because Arrow already has a new Bl*ck C*nary (Dinah Drake). PIPE DREAM.

3) Forget all that for a second. Let’s say Bl*ck S*ren becomes this unattainable 2.0 version of LL as KC fans desire. Let’s say she takes back the Bl*ck C*nary mantle. Oliver Queen wouldn’t touch BS with a ten foot pole. He wouldn’t touch L*urel with a ten foot pole by the time she died. 

That’s just fact. If you need additional reassurance then the writers have said many times Bl*ck S*renand Oliver Queen are never going to happen. Oliver’s endgame is and will always be Felicity Smoak.

So what’s the real impact to a BS redemption story? Not much. It’s the same equivalent of giving L*urel the motorcycle or whatever other crumbs they tossed her fans. Give it to them. Or don’t. It doesn’t really matter either way. 

Arrow killing off L*urel was one of their ballsier moves, and yes it’s disappointing to see them circumvent it with this doppelganger nonsense. It lessens the impact of death which was one of the many reasons they killed LL. They needed to raise the stakes for the superheroes and show the audience they can die. 

Do I think Arrow will kill off KC’s character again? No. I don’t. The writers say they have new ways to utilize the actress with this different character. I think that’s partially true. I also think KC has nine lives and a hell of a team of lawyers.

But the truth is she will never be the female lead again. 

BS will continue to be a supporting character like the newbies. And, like the newbies, function best in a B (or C) storyline that ultimately supports the leads - Oliver, Felicity and Diggle.

I know there are many who are frustrated BS is still around. I know any version of this character drives you up the wall. If there are those who enjoy the character then great! For those who don’t, you can always fast forward. But her impact is null and void for me. Would it be better if her screen time went to other characters? Absolutely, but I’m not wasting my energy stressing about it. My apathy is a peaceful place.

The upside for me is the writers are never shy about directing snark at BS, which gives me a free pass to be equally as snarky in my reviews. And that’s nifty.

[scriobh-blog]

rules.

my name’s ellie. i’m a 29-year-old cis bi disabled woman, and i use she/her pronouns. his is a blog for sara lance/white canary from cwtv’s arrowverse. i am mutual exclusive and very, very, very selective.

i’m extremely introverted, have chronic pain, anxiety, and bipolar II. i can be bad at communicating because i’m afraid of speaking to people. i withdraw into myself a lot. this means my activity is very slow and sporadic, so please be patient with me. it also means that i am not great at speaking with people, so please, don’t feel that i’m ignoring you. i just don’t have the social energy.

i tag triggers as  [trigger name] cw. i also tag all romantic ships as ship name / just because i know some people are romance-repulsed or dislike certain ships. if you need one tagged, or have a special tag you have blocked, please let me know. i ask that you tag the following: spiders, car accidents, depression, suicide, and cancer.

i am well over 21. i am multiship and write sara as bi. i am also not tied to one ship (regardless of whether or not it’s canon), but shipping must happen organically and is entirely dependent on writing chemistry. just because i ship with one version of a character doesn’t mean i ship with all versions of that character. additionally, nsfw themes may be present, but smut is unlikely as i usually feel uncomfortable writing it. this also should go without saying, but i will not rp sexual content with anyone under 18, and i will unfollow and block anyone who does.

racism, antisemitism, transphobia, homophobia, bigotry, or other problematic behaviors will get you unfollowed and blocked. also, i support the calling out of problematic and abusive behaviors. i also may unfollow for a lot of untagged nsfw content– i browse in public from time to time so excessive nsfw makes me nervous. it’s nothing personal and i will sometimes follow back later!

i may be shy but i don’t bite. if you ever have a plot or an idea, hop in my inbox or ims, let me know! i’m also open to rping over discord. thank you for reading!

[danwritestuff]

Tagged by @sorbriquette​ and putting it in my so-called writing blog cuz i keep anything related to writing here

1. How did you begin writing? Uhhmm, I’ve always been a daydreamer and it was my Coping Mechanism(tm). So naturally, I’ve always wanted to write about weird shits I think about. Most of the time, though, I end up just imagining things and never get to writing it. I wasn’t really good at writing in my own language (Korean) and then I’ve gotten into writing in English (my second language) and found out I write BETTER in English lmao. 

2. What was your first writing project? Tell us a little about it. I started writing when I was around 13 or so. Never really got to write a full story and it was in Korean (I hate writing in Korean). I began RPing in tumblr since late 2012/early 2013 which is when I got into writing in English. I did wrote a short novel for a class in 2014 and I wrote a long fanfic in 2013 or something. Also wrote a screenplay once. 

Not going into details because I am ashamed. I try not to think about my past writings.

3. What is your preferred medium for writing first drafts? MS Words. I just like formatting and spelling everything correct too much.

4. What rituals or habits do you have around writing?  Um, I have a weird habit of writing a word ‘d’ and deleting it repeatedly when I’m not sure what to write. I make weird facial expressions too.

5. We all have a “type”– of character, plot, theme– what is yours?  Plot-wise, most of my stories involve a theme of ‘HUMANS ARE DUMB BUT THEY ARE ALSO AMAZING’ which has to do with my perpetual disdain for the humanity at the same time my self-contradicting love for humane shits. I love stories that involve... humans choosing something absolutely stupid that makes no sense, just because they are human. 

As for characters, I try to write everyone as different as possible. Not sure if I’m successful at that. Though my favorites are either: dumbass characters who are well-meaning and goodhearted but at the same time morally ambiguous, one of those idiots who are like a ray of sunshine but will also fuck you up if you hurt someone they love; or ‘average’ or ‘mediocre’ characters (like, skills or power-wise) surrounded by extraordinary people. 

6. Introduce us to one (or more!) of your OC’s.  I have a problem of writing too many characters but here goes the main characters in a series I’m trying (and failing) to write: 

- Rafael: My dumbass son (kind of jobless) who eloped with his fiance from his home, a secluded temple where he spend all of his life in. Proper and polite to a fault. Oblivious to human malice and sometimes dumb because this is the first time in his life in the civilization. Incredibly lucky, though he doesn’t notice it. Has a voice like an angel but doesn’t like to sing. He refuses to carry any type of weaponry but doesn’t mind beating the shit out of assholes because “God gave us fists so that we can punch bad people.”  - Emmy: Technically not my OC cuz my friend @kyaarin​ created her but she lets me write her. A young Mage/engineer who wants to be successful. Grew up on streets taking care of orphans like her so she is like a big sister to everyone. Friendly and gets along with everyone except assholes to whom she can be a bit vicious. Energetic and kind of hotheaded. Smart and logical most of the time but when she is pissed she just goes off and does something stupid without thinking of the consequences.  - Terra: Technically not my OC (by @kyaarin​) 2. An assassin/spy who is also like a private detective. Was from a rich family but she left her family to be free. Got into troubles on her own so she got into being a hit woman. She is either your best friend or your worst enemy. Quiet and observant. Doesn’t like to act before knowing EVERYTHING about what she is getting herself into. Doesn’t care how long it takes to get what she wants, or what price she would pay for that. Is out to revenge her friend ultimately.  - Lance: A Knight (basically a magehunter in this world) who hates magic. He kills mages because he believes that would make the world a better place. So definitely a shithead which is inexcusable. He KNOWS that he is a mass murderer and there will be CONSEQUENCES but at the same time he believes it’s necessary to do what he does. Snarky asshole. Dogged workaholic and reckless, mostly because Knights in this world are sorta OP. Also financially unstable af because he gets sued a lot. 

7. What’s your favorite genre to read?  Ummm, I like fantasy and sci-fi but I also just like regular fictions. I have a really specific taste in books and it’s hard to find those. 

8. Your favorite genre to write? Anything fantasy or sci-fi. I really like world building.

9. How do you conduct your authorial research? Google is your friend. I might have spent way too much time on that because I am obsessive. 

10. What does your editing (gasp) process look like? Mm... I rewrite 1834931041 times while my first draft (which is a horrible habit and I write really slow thanks to that). I reread to check and then I get it to friends and get feedbacks by chapters.

11. What are your favorite tropes? Mm.. Idk I really like characters being asked to hand in their weapons several times because they have so many hidden weapons. Also love non-human characters (like robots or AI or something else) beginning to understand or becoming humans?

12. Show off your writing space. I don’t have one ‘cause my life is a mess.

13. What is the most useful piece of writing advice you’ve ever used? “Sit your ass down and just write.”

I mean, it all comes down to writing constantly and regularly I believe, which I struggle with (because I work better with deadlines). But I think that is as good as it gets with writing advice. Like? Everyone writes differently and there ain’t one formula for that? Step off of your high horse and throw your ‘don’t use this kind of expression/phrase/structure’ over a cliff.

14. What is the least useful piece of writing advice you’ve ever ignored? Any advice that has to do with fancy “alternative” vocabulary.

Like... it’s not about which words you use to decorate your sentence. It’s about the content. I find the best sentences convey strong emotions or meanings and that doesn’t always have to do with which words are used. Write as you feel and if what you feel is “that asshole of a man said some bullshits” then go with it.

15. Your writing beverage/snack of choice? Coffee? Though I feel like I work better when my needs are deprived. 

16. How do you compile your ideas? Writing blogs, some memos. I have a huge Google document that has world building information in it. I think it’s about 40 pages long and I’m not even done.

17. What are your controversial opinions ™ on the craft of writing? I’m not sure if I have a controversial opinion on writing... Maybe “you can’t separate real worlds or yourself from the fictions”? Wherever and whenever your story takes place in, it is written by you, so it is bound to reflect YOUR world view. You are the storyteller, so you can’t just say “It’s just a story”. It’s not. You are writing what you want to write about and if it’s problematic, then you gotta do some reality check.

Tagging: @eva-writes @darklingsea @rjwrites @proserpinewrites @wiscowrites @ashlaaaywrites @viirgowrites and anyone who wants to do this 

[sicklylittlesnowflake]

hello! you're blog is so cute i love it!!! tbh you're such a good writer it makes me cry. could you please do a fic describing keith's emotions (or lack thereof) when allura fell in his arms vs his emotions when lance literally just touched his shoulder?

(Hey sweetpea, you’re honestly the kindest person ever?? I hope you don’t mind that I added elements of whump into this prompt because I wanted to stick to my sickfic/whump theme, but I couldn’t turn this prompt down because I loved it!! It’s still more focused on Keith’s thoughts than the actual whump!)

Keith’s idea of love had always been through a screen. Never real, processed and filtered through a Hollywood lens.

He’d had a taste of love when his classmate Lucy gave him a card cut out like a heart for Valentine’s Day in kindergarten, but he didn’t feel anything at all. But Keith couldn’t quite help but feel a little warm and fuzzy when his classmate James let him help him build his sandcastle.

But for the most part, Keith never really understood what it was. Teachers at school always explained it was what mommy and daddy felt for each other, but he didn’t have that. How could he know what he didn’t have? Keith told himself that maybe he just wasn’t wired to have it, that not all boys get to have it, and that was okay. You can’t miss what you never had.

But Keith was curious. He wondered what it would feel like. He wondered what all his classmates were crazy about, why all the girls would squeal over their crushes picking petals off flowers and why all the boys tried and competed to find ways to get the girl. It was something Keith just didn’t get, something that wasn’t on his radar.

He would watch romance films on the TV, watch as a boy and girl fell in love in a whimsical journey. He watched as boys burst into song about how happy they felt, how in love they were in the rain. He’d watch girls sing quietly to themselves about how smitten and complete they would feel, the devotion they felt to another human being. To Keith, it didn’t didn’t feel real at all. He could only shrug and move on. It just wasn’t for him.

Then there was Lance.

Lance came swooping in one day, a complete surprise that he had said he didn’t need and certainly didn’t want, but now, more than anything, needed, and desperately wanted. It was funny how time changed things.

He’d seen him before, he’d simply been in the background of his life. Lance was just there, sitting around with his class at the Garrison. Just fading in to the background in Keith’s eyes. But now Lance was all he could see.

No Hollywood movie could ever explain how Keith felt about Lance.

It had all happened too fast. Keith didn’t even know where the transition from you are the most annoying person I’ve ever met to you’ve given me something to believe in was. There is something about Lance’s very essence that makes him feel at home. Something about Lance that grounds him back to earth when he feels like he is floating away, out of reach for good.

There was nothing like Lance’s smile, subtle, perfect and real.

Now Lance is in front of him and he isn’t smiling, he’s fevered and sick and just not his Lance. Not his sweet, lively Lance who walked around lightly leaving traces of twinkling stardust behind him. He looks vulnerable, weak, sick. Someone like him who burst with sunlight didn’t deserve this.

And Lance is here, fevered and sick because of him. Keith had insisted on going on a dangerous mission, and Lance would not let him go alone. He had brushed it off and said he only went because he thought Keith was incompetent, but as he prepared himself he overheard him gently telling Hunk that he was coming because he believed in him.

Lance hadn’t been feeling well, something that wasn’t to Keith’s knowledge, and yet he went with Keith, fiercely protecting him like the sharpshooter he was, pushing aside everything else for Keith.

Lance had succeeded, Keith finished the mission safe and sound, but ended up worsening his own physical state. On their way back to the Black Lion, Keith was beaming about how well they were worked together, how great Lance was, and Lance was smiling, smiling so bright then he was collapsed on the floor. Needless to say Keith was beyond freaked out.

His whole life Keith told himself that he and love were incompatible. Love was not for him. No one could ever love him, he wasn’t built for it, it was in his very molecules that was chemically unresponsive to it. It was written in his DNA, wired so that he couldn’t.

And then Lance comes barging in and breaking down his closed walls and turns everything around.

Keith frantically cradled Lance in his arms, scooping him off the ground and holding him so close in fear that if he loosened his grip for one second, he’d lose Lance forever. He couldn’t lose anyone else.

Worry flooded him, as panic raced about his body and his heart beat furiously, adrenaline pumping because he couldn’t lose Lance. He incoherently spat out about how stupid Lance was for doing this, that he shouldn’t have come with him if he was sick, how none of this was worth Lance’s health as he drove Black home frantically

Then Lance let out a husky chuckle, looking at Keith with that stupid flirty, slick expression that rendered him so jealous he could barely function when it was used with other aliens.

But what came out of Lance’s mouth was said so differently, so purely and genuinely from how he spoke to those alien girls.

“You don’t get it, do you, Keith? You don’t get that I love you,” Lance said feverishly, but said in a tone so soft and loving that for a few moments Keith’s blood ran cold, all concept of time and space halting as his heart melted, a feeling that was the perfect culmination of flowers blooming and a warm fire starting in the fireplace.

Black suddenly tipped slightly as Keith lost control, of both the lion and his emotions. He let out a small gasp, his hands beginning to tremble lightly as his breath became short and shallow. Lance had just turned the world he once knew upside down.

And Keith has lost control.

Keith doesn’t remember what happens after that, but he knows that he lands back on the Castle and carries Lance’s fevered, sickly body out of the Lion as Coran and Hunk rush towards them in concern and shock, carrying Lance away to medbay.

His concept of time went whack as he tried to collect his thoughts. He disassociated from his own body, detached from his reality and walking aimlessly, like walking in a dream. His reality warped and fading, all he could hear was he loud thumping of his heart, and the word love echoing in his head like a mantra.

He doesn’t remember how he got here but he’s sitting by Lance’s side, watching him breathe in and out steadily, looking drained and exhausted. He looks so peaceful like this, and its one of the only times he’s been able to just look at Lance like this. He’s handsome despite the sickly features. He has clear skin, the cutest upturn to his nose and the lightest of freckles dotting it. So perfectly Lance.

He ponders for what seems to be hours about what Lance had said to him, what this was supposed to make him feel. Keith doesn’t know how to react, how to feel, he’s not good with people, he’s not Lance. He is so confused, out of his element and thrown out of the controlled mindset he had adapted for himself. Keith has effectively lost it. He’s been alone for so long he’s forgotten he’s real.

He tries to rationalize, trying process everything so he his brain can finally shut up and end the endless rollercoaster it’s on. There’s so much going on in his brain that he needs to just take a moment and think way back, try and analyze the situation and understand how he’s feeling. Keith closes his eyes and thinks back to the past, searching for answers.

When Allura falls into his arms he is hit by a sense of deja vu, like he had been here in this situation before. But he hadn’t–Keith feels as if he hasn’t quite lived yet, he’d all watched it on a TV screen in yet another Hollywood romance. He’d seen it all before hundreds of times, it’s lost any sense of magical wonder. He wondered if he’d feel that rush or thrill of holding a girl in his arms like that, but he felt nothing at all.

Keith tries to feel something in that moment, forces himself to feel magical and like he could burst into song in the rain, feel butterflies dancing in his stomach, because the TV screen told him to, but he can’t. He wonders where the moment where he realises he wants to spend his whole life with her went, because it’s not here. All he feels is catching his friend, and he’s happy that he caught her, because he cares about Allura and wouldn’t want her hurt, but he thought he would feel more. Because that’s what he was told to do.

But Lance’s hand on his shoulder is like when the bus finally arrives after waiting so long in the freezing cold, that relief of the heated vehicle and the reassurance that yes, I am finally going home. He feels that wonderful heat rising to his cheeks, that firm whisper that keeps him together when he is sure he is going to fall apart. The way Lance looks at him melts Keith in the insides, and he just does not know what to do in the slightest. The TV screen never told him about this, never prepared him for it. He’s lost in Lance’s soft blue eyes, spotting this kindness and softness that cradles him gently, soothing his weary heart. Keith wonders why the TV screen never showed him this because this beat every single thing it had showed him.

Keith thinks about this as he watches Lance sleep, breathing heavily from a fever and curled up, looking so much softer and vulnerable. It was a new side to him he never knew was there, a side to him that was just as scared as he was, a side that didn’t feel the need to keep up a cheery facade constantly. A side to Lance Keith never would’ve thought would go on a mission with him despite how awful he felt, just to make sure Keith wasn’t alone, and to tell Keith that he believed in him.

It forced Keith to reevaluate everything he ever knew, because Keith was so convinced that he would always be alone, that no one could ever love someone who could not be understood, but here Lance was making a sacrifice for him. Keith didn’t think anyone could do such a thing. But Lance was here. Here Lance was, who didn’t quite understand every single little thing about Keith, but loved every single little thing about Keith and somehow saw past all of his crap and believed in him. It was too hard to believe. That perhaps he wasn’t so unlovable after all. It couldn’t be real. But Lance loved him.

Keith is suddenly hit with an epiphany.

A revelation that leaves his body cold and frozen, then a surge of warmth and he’s breathing heavily as his heart swells and wants to escape his chest and he’s shaking, because he’s in love with Lance. He’s in love with Lance too.

‘I love Lance,’ Keith thinks over and over again, hoping that somehow it can finally sink in and he could suddenly have his eureka moment and know exactly  what to do. He is so confused and scared and excited and filled with a plethora of mixed, conflicting emotions but it feels so good and so right. Keith hates being wrong but right now he was wrong and he is so happy that he is. Keith is not unlovable, and he didn’t realise how much he needed to know that.

Keith wants to cry because he’s so happy, he’s shaking and tears are spilling from his eyes and he can’t help but reach out for Lance’s hand. He flinches just a little as his skin comes into contact with Lance’s, and a feeling of doubt begins to build slowly but he looks back at Lance and the mantra starts again. ‘I love Lance,’ The voice repeats over and over again but never quite loses its magic. He is assured again. He eases into it, intertwining his fingers with Lance’s and he feels so connected, it feels so right.

Lance stirs, and his eyes are fluttering open and they sparkle with delight when they see Keith’s form.

“I love you too,” Keith chokes, smothered with his own happy tears, a shaky smile playing on his lips. Shaky, but still so sure. So certain. He’s so confident in it he could yell it to the world at the top of his lungs or burst into song and dance until the sun rises.

and when Lance smiles at him the magical technicolor romance he saw on screen leaps out and becomes real. Very real, vivid and dancing and twirling and sparkling in all its rich colours as it comes to life and Keith can’t help but join in and bask in it.

[sage-nebula]

"what ship do you hate most?" and "favorite AU ideas for Keitor" for the ask meme. Also I've just noticed your new theme and it's wonderful

Thank you!! ♥♥♥ I love my theme so much. Every second of waiting for that sidebar art was 100% worth it. And I’m going to answer the happy question first so the negative one can be put under a cut, haha.

Favorite AU Ideas for Keitor:

Now here’s a much happier, more positive question! Let’s see . . .

I really, really love the alternate reality I set up in “Revolutionary”, to the point where I honestly have so much information about that reality stored in my brain. Things such as: 

What Keith’s childhood was like before he was taken to Revender

What his life was like when he was taken to Revender

How he met Acxa (and what her life was like before they met) 

How they both met (and joined up with) Lotor 

How all three of them met Ezor, Zethrid, and Narti (in that order) 

Roughly how they came to be in possession of the Red Lion (I’ve got two different ideas for this) 

How they took the Castle of Lions (and dropped Allura, Coran, and the mice off at Hauli) 

How they broke the news to Zarkon that they were keeping Voltron

What happened to that reality’s Shiro, Lance, Pidge, and Hunk since Keith was not there to bust Shiro out of the Garrison and they had no Blue Lion to lead the Galra Empire ship that had pursued Shiro away from Earth And so on and so forth. I really, really love imagining this reality, especially since Keith’s and Lotor’s relationship gets to be such a slow burn (they have been traveling / working together for about five years prior to “Revolutionary”, but the scene at the end is Lotor’s confession, and that kiss is their first kiss). They fall in love, truly fall in love through all the time they spend traveling / working / living together, through all the time they spend getting to know each other, and I love imagining all of the moments that lead up to that point (as well as everything that comes after---did you know, it still takes them several years after that to get married). Additionally, I love imagining how they have their family with the other generals, too. I love thinking about all the found family shenanigans they have. It’s great. ♥

Though I’m really hoping that season five moves this out of the realm of “AU” and into the realm of “canon”, I have to say that my other favorite is the (probable) canon divergence where Lotor joins the Blade of Marmora after the events of S4. Whether season five does or doesn’t make that canon, though, I love imagining that he does, and that he and Keith bond and grow closer through their missions as Marmorites and the time they spend together outside of missions. I’ve written two fics in this canon divergence so far (“Civil Discourse” and “Walk the Line”), and I’ve got two more upcoming (one of which should be posted by the end of tonight). I really hope that canon gives me what I want in season five, but . . . we’ll see . . . (and even if it doesn’t, that’s what fanfiction is for, so I’ll just do it my own self, see if I don’t).

Finally, my friend @kcgane has a great college AU that’s so much fun to think about! So far she has one fic in the series (“a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away”), but we talk about it quite a bit through IM and I’m super excited thinking about some of the stuff that’s coming up. So that AU is really great, too!

And now for the negative question under the cut for those who don’t wish to see negativity (preview: it’s a PokéAni ship I’ll be talking about) . . .

What ship do you hate the most?

This is probably surprising to no one, but absolutely Alan/Manon (otherwise known as m*rrissonshipping) from the PokéAni. I have an actual list of reasons for why I despise this ship, and though I won’t list them all now, I will say that I hate it so much that it gives me an actual, physiological anxiety reaction whenever I encounter it. So of course, being an adult, I take as many measures as I can to not encounter it by putting it (including misspellings of the ship name) into Tumblr Savior, refusing to follow anyone who even casually ships it because I don’t want to risk seeing it when I’m on mobile, and blocking blogs that are dedicated to it / are active shippers of it so that I never, ever have to encounter their content / risk them hijacking my content to twist it into something for the ship. Unlike some people in certain fandoms I could name but won’t, I don’t put the responsibility for not seeing content that upsets me on the shoulders of other people. I take that responsibility upon myself, and while I do sometimes see it anyway (no method is failproof), the times I do are kept to a minimum as a result of the actions I take upon myself to make sure that’s the case.

But yeah, of all the ships I dislike or consider NOTPs, that is the biggest one. And while most of my reasons for hating it are purely rooted within the canon itself (e.g. it’s an unhealthy (at Alan’s expense) relationship in the canon, straight up), I will say that the fandom for it did an awfully good job of making me hate it with ten times the fire I’d have normally (especially with the way they reduce Alan to being nothing more than Manon’s trophy boyfriend, degrading him to make her look better, like---I am not, nor will I ever, be here for that).

[quiznakchronicle]

A collection of discourse/vent asks

So over the last few weeks we’ve gotten a bunch of discourse/vent asks, mostly from people frustrated at the number of events in the fandom and/or how they’re being managed. We understand that people turn to us because we’re the ones in the thick of all these events, but please keep in mind that this isn’t a discourse blog. We’ll answer all the asks we have in one shot in this post (under a cut) because we don’t want people thinking we’re ignoring them or don’t care about what they’re saying, but after this we won’t be answering such asks publicly anymore. In the future we’d ask that if you have a grievance regarding events in this fandom please either talk to us in private about it (send an off-anon ask to this blog or DM Mod Pidge at @ace-pidge) or make a separate post about it on your blog. If you just want to anonymously vent/rant at someone may we suggest something like @vld-rage-confessions

Thanks for understanding <3

- Mods Pidge & Shiro

Anonymous said: 12 days ago regarding that anon complaining about event capacity, I think it might be helpful to also bring up a discussion about how certan events are run. Some events are run very smoothly by mods that are mature and act professional, while others are either run by well-intentioned newbies or people who don't have the skill to run the event they are. I have had to drop out of several bangs because the mods have refused to use email for sign-ups or check-ins, instead forcing all the work on participants1/2

2/2 They put all of the responsibility for both creating the piece, communicating with partners and performing check-ins on the participants and then people drop out due to poor communication and confusion. I have asked mods to please use email and send out confirmation / check-in emails and many have been rude and self-righteous about it, calling those that ask for better modding skills lazy or entitled. I am frustrated since I have always handed my work in on time, but have had to drop

3/2 from events due to absolute silence on the part of mods. It is not good practice to run your entire event out of tumblr / twitter and expect all participants to keep checking your blog / check in with you. It is teh responsibility of mods to send out emails and check in with participants, not the other way around. it is the responsibility of mods to make sure the communication is there, and the responsibility of participants to do the work and hand it in.

4/2(sorry) I don't wnat to make a c=major call-out post or shame particular people, but I feel like this is a trend that needs to stop. Certain events (big bangs, I've noticed) are being run like drag-and-drop set-and-forget events that mods don't need to put effort in to beyond putting up a tumblr. Running a big bang is a HUGE amount of effort and if you're not willing to put the effort in to run it properly, you run the risk of burning the entire community. We need to focus on a few well-run events. Sorry, finished. (no need to publish this ask)

I think this is a very good point and in fact I was partly thinking of this ask when I made my events etiquette post with my list of advice to organizers and participants. The importance of good and consistent communication during events simply cannot be understated, it’s what will make or break your event

Anonymous said: 12 days ago thank you so much for posting the thing about too many events. i'm thinking about not accepting zines if i get in because i don't think they'll sell and i don't want to work on something for nothing and i don't know how to get that across to these mods because they think selling a hundred is good but i get more kudos on my ao3 fics than that

Honestly the situation with zines has me particularly worried, because there is actual money involved. In previous fandoms I’ve only ever seen a few zines overall, never this many and all at once. It really does saturate the market. The last thing anyone wants is for people to put in all that work only for it to flop at the end because few people actually order it. It’s not any one person or zine’s fault, because all of them have neat concepts and themes. The problem is in having them all at once.

Anonymous said: 12 days ago I don't know how recently the problems with dropouts have started getting worse, but it could also have something to do with school starting back in a lot of places. If students didn't think about school starting or didn't expect to have more work this year than last year, they might be dropping stuff because of that. Oversaturation is definitely a problem we have, but things might even out a little bit in a few weeks once people adjust and it might get a little bit better? Hopefully?

That’s definitely a possibility. As I’ve said in the past it’s very important to consider your long-term life/work/school schedule when considering whether to run or sign up for an event. I have noticed in the past week or two less new events have popped up, so either I’m not finding them lol, or we’re heading into a lull which will hopefully allow things to even out

Anonymous said: 12 days ago on top of "too many events", there are a lot of /competiting/ events. 3 keith zines (for example) are all gonna compete with each other, period. people only have so much money to give, so someone buying 1 keith zine can't spend THAT SAME money on the other 2. (nor can they spend it on a lance zine, klance zine, etc). thinking these don't compete is the 1st mistake. creators are gonna spend time making things no one will buy and the mods are gonna lose money producing it.

Yeah, I touched briefly on the situation with zines a bit further up. I think the one saving grace for these zines is that while they may all be in production more or less at the same time they don’t go on sale at the same time. But I definitely hear you. We all want all the zines to do well, but like you say people aren’t made of money

Anonymous said: 12 days ago confession: im in an event run by the worst mod ever and its incredibly fucking frustrating. it feels like they dont give a shit about the event. i applied to their zine before i knew that but if i get accepted i WONT participate and in the rejection i will tell them why (its been over a month). they havent done ANY check ins as scheduled have basically disappeared and my artist hasnt replied either. im so mad i want to cry and drop out and never do an event again. this hurts us too you know

Aw Nonny I’m so sorry you’re stuck in this situation... The flipside of poor event management is fandom creators like you being turned off from participating in projects and that’s really upsetting. Fandom events should be a source of fun and creativity, not stress and anxiety. I’m so sorry, I hope in the meantime since you sent this your situation has improved ;A;

Anonymous said: 12 days ago Guys please don't encourage mods who are continuously late on their dates or end up canceling their event due to their poor planning. I get that you want to treat them well but not giving honest feedback ("please keep to the schedule in the future" or "I'm disappointed this was cancelled") tells them that there are no consequences to their bad management. But there are: one week only had 2 participants. Zines aren't making money. Too many events + bad mods = poor participation. I'm sick of it.

This is important. If the way something is being run isn’t working it’s important to say so, otherwise how will the mod grow and learn to do better in the future. I know it feels like “calling out” but it needs to be said. Seeing an event to completion is a partnership between the organizer(s) and the participants and both sides need to be proactive and be willing to listen to each other

Anonymous said: 10 days ago My 2 cents on the events discourse: they're optional so don't sign up. Personally I'm sick of having shitty mods and terrible experiences so i won't be doing anymore vld events. Sucks because i love fandom events but apparently no one who runs them gets the point of them so...

Yeah, I’m seeing more and more people saying they’re just not gonna participate in anything anymore and it sucks that it’s come to this. I totally understand though ://

Anonymous said: 8 days ago dear people who follow QC: we do not have unlimited money. zines for profit are going to continue to do worse because more people will hit their spending limits. we do not need multiple character zines, ship zines, or race zines (galran/altean/etc). if you think galra keith, nature keith and gen keith don't compete with both each other AND the lance zines then please take an econ class before launching. we have plenty more seasons, let's not run this fandom into the ground, shall we?

Anonymous said: 6 days ago I'm quitting fandom events. There are so many bad mods and it's made this experience really terrible for me. I'm telling you in hopes that you publish this ask so people who see it will think about if they're modding for 15 min of fame or if they're taking it seriously. Enough is enough

I think I’ve pretty much said everything further up, so I’ll just leave these last two ones here like this

[semi-imaginary-place]

fe3h blogging 3 because i have no self control

wah. I don’t want to start BL because that would mean leaving Edelgard and Claude. I don’t care about dimirti as much. part 1 dimitri is so earnest though

i think blue lions was written first. 1 the two monthly missions that have to do with students’ families are both in BL (Ashe and Sylvain). I didn’t notice this at first because for some reason I got it into my head that one of them was in the black eagles and so i thought every house would have a “welp and now we kill  your [insert family member]”. 2 two fairly important side characters at the monastery are related to BL students (Annette and Mercedes). Chapter 3 actually provides a intro for all the lords in their respective routes. Edelgard’s scene is serious but not especially sad, instead you can feel te fire burning within Edlegard and the scene shows how she’s willing to sacrifice the lives of those under her if she believes she is doing the right thing. Claude’s is actually quite light hearted in tone after the first few lines and it highlights the mystery surrounding him and makes him seem very sketchy. Chapter 3 in Blue Lions though is really sad. Ashe my baby boy. Here there is a sense of tragedy in the post battle scene.

My opinion of Gillbert slowly plummets as my opinion of Annette continues to rise. I mean absentee emotionally distant father? He doesn’t deserve Annette and her mom. Ok during Dimitri and Annettes C support about how being siblings would be nice, I’m like ummmmm you two are less than half a year apart. Annette is just small not young. its actually off putting to see Sylvain act like a decent person in Dedue’s supports. Underneath all that philandering and shitting on women, he’s actually a good dude and pretty smart, but wow I want to hit him sometimes. wow Felix is actually nice* to Annette. *well nicer anyways. He’s not mean to her. the “fight” Annette and Mercedes have in their B support is so stupid and now I need to get to the timeskip for it to resolve? wow.

I think Dedue like trauma latched (is that a thing???? I should go look up ptsd sometime) on to Dimitri. Like found the first person that showed a bit of kindness for him and clamped down. He sees himself as a tool of Dimitri, his entire existence is for the sake of another person. He hates Faergus for what it has done to Duscur but instead of helping to enact meaningful resistance against Faergus, he latched on to the first person that didn’t treat Duscur like scum. That’s not rational. Come to think of it everyone in blue lions need therapy like more so than the other houses (who could also use some)

And here I thought Sylvain was the one with self-worth problems, turns out Dimitri’s a part of the gang too. Its like he can’t see any good parts of himself. He is very earnest and straightforward. Also “you didn’t appear to be suppressing you emotions” huh really. not a topic you’re familiar with yourself Dimitri? Can’t remember if I’ve said this or not but why is Dimitri the only one to have a modified armored uniform.

Edelgard: tower, fortune, emperor. Linhardt: hermit. Mercedes: high priestess, strength. Ashe: star. Dimitri: moon, justice, devil?. Claude: sun, hermit?. Seteth: hierophant. Felix: chariot, emperor. Lysithea: magician. Flayn: lovers, priestess. Manuela: empress. Marianne: fortune, priestess, sun? death?. Ingrid: Emperor?. Bernadetta: hermit, moon. Dorothea: lovers, empress. Ignatz: hanged man. Caspar: justice, chariot

Ashe is such a good boy TT^TT

I always thought it hilarious that Lonato got Catherine’s name wrong, but no there was more to it than that.

Also I don’t get why Annette or her mom couldn’t just go to Garreg Mach. She didn’t need an excuse to visit a place, its not like you need a visa to enter. The school of sorcery and then officers academy sounds like such a roundabout way of doing things

I wonder what name Claude ascends the throne under. He likely only took up the name von Riegan upon entering Fodlan and probably used his father's family name before that. I wonder if Claude has an Almyran given name. If he tried to claim the throne under the name Claude von Riegan it’d kinda be an insult like spitting in the face of his people and that wouldn't gain him any favor in Almyra. But would he go under a fully Almyran name? He would be a more popular king showing himself as one of the people. However, I imagine that he'd keep the name Claude. Maybe he grew up with his parents calling him that maybe its important to him now that he's lived under it for ~7 formative years of his life. Coming to fodlan marked the beginning of claude carrying out his plan's to achieve his dream. Its also a period where he is devoid of his parent's guidance and presence. I'd also just say 16-23 is a pretty important period of identity building in a person's life. Its under the name claude that he finds people he wants to walk down this path with. Its an acknowledgement of both sides of his heritage. I wonder if his choice would be different in a non Verdant Wind route.

What if timelines get mixed up and 23 year old felix gets sent to right before glenn dies.  23 yo felix get teleported to an alternate universe or something and meets 13 yo felix. Felix angsts that glenn seems so young and how he's now older than him, maybe yells at his dad a bit and has a chat with 13yo felix.And then idk gets teleported back? Or worse gets trapped so now there 2 felixes running around and i dont know how thats going to affect the time line

Ashe would make the perfect court asassin. He has enough rank/political clout to get access to targets and its not suspicious if he is in proximity to them.But he's not important enough that anyone would pay attention to him. He's a knight and the lord of castle gaspard at most. He's like a minor lord not a duke or anything. Ashe has enough social and emotional intelligence to navigate social situations. He's easy to get along with and has that harmless sweet boy demeanor to him. He already is good at lock picking, sneaking around, and bows. All he need is some training from Shamir and Claude and Ashe would be unstoppable. The only thing stopping this is that Ashe is a genuine good sweet boy and hates deception. My boy is going to be a knight! 

You know what Dimitri needs? A Raphael. Put the one who cant deal with his own emotions next to the emotionally mature on and maybe Dimitri will finally get the help he needs. They can train together too

Dimitri: Kill them all. Don’t let a single one of them escape. Sever their limbs and crush their wicked skulls.

Me: how about no. Kids, don’t do that.

(later) Dimitri: I will search for survivors

Me: Yeah the ones you didn’t kill

The more I learn about Dimitri’s childhood the more I’m like what the hell is wrong with Faergus??? The lifting rocks makes sense because Dimitri is ridiculous strong, but having a kid run all night in heavy armor, or waking an 11 year old up in the middle of the night and having them catch deer. ????? Also Flayn’s cooking and Dimitri’s taste buds are a good match.  “Look at that young maiden wielding a giant lance. How adorable!” I mean that does sound pretty adorable actually.

Sometimes I think about how the officer’s academy is run as an institution and then I get a headache. The player character students we have number around 25 but you see npcs everywhere around garreg mach and there’s enough of them to fill a ball room. In talking to the students, a lot of them imply this is their first year at garreg mach which would imply that the officer’s academy’s course is 1 year long. This is also supported by the age range of the cast from 15 to 22 with most at 16-17 at the beginning of the year instead of having the younger and less experienced students at a different grade level. With a multigrade system unlikely though, how can we explain the number of students? There are 3 possibilities. First is that the class sizes are huge (conservative estimate is like 60/class, probably more based on cut scene estimates) with full day lecture classes. second is that there are only half day classes with half the students in morning class and the other half in afternoon class. Third is that there are actually more professors than shown.

The Central and Western Churches use the exact same rhetoric as shown in the Ashe-Catherine and Flayn-Seteth paralogues. We are divine and just and you are all heathens and sinners. Goddess this Goddess that. And both of them claim justifications for invasions under this rhetoric. Oh its not that you are politically inconvenient to me its that the Goddess says you are evil and I can’t argue with the Goddess so I have a moral obligation to strike you down. I wonder how many of them are actually delusional religious and how many are just using it as an excuse/cover.

I was thinking star or sun for claude because despite/because of everything he's an idealist. Like the sun guy in p3 akainori??? He take all that pain and tries to make the world a better placeInstead of a picture book though claude tries to revolutionize the worldAhhhhh I love this. theres so many narrative you can pull from these types of thingsDevil is like struggling with vice. Hubert's character arc deals withhis trouble connecting with people, his loyalty to edelgard, and what he has to do. Maybe justice? Rationality, jusgement, and themes of what is justice. Especially his convo with Hanneman that calls into question the execution of his fatherSeteth is probably hierophant as he's that one strict follow the rule book teacher we'vr all had. He also repeRepresents the chuch, authority, and the establishment (initially)Mercedes is a nurturing motherly type person with fits empress well. I take back the priestess statement from earlier. I think mercedes struggles are more external than internal (priestess is like more personal relationshio to spirituality and intuition). Wheel of fortune is an option? ?? Mercedes was born with a crest the her house fell and her step dad only wanted her mom for thr lamine crest. Then the church. then her adoptive dad wanting her for political gain theb the academy. A lot has been outside her control. Byleth is another good option for obvious reasons Edelgard is another good one given what happened in her childhood. If thing had been different she would be living a different life. Emperor could be another good one fore her since its about imposing your will on your surroundings

Dimitri’s stupid. I mean he’s using reasoning, but he’s jumping to conclusions when equally or more probable options are still there. I wouldn’t exactly believe Edelgard’s words either, but its clear Flame Emperor and TWSITD have their own separate agendas. Dimitrii’s  “edelgard is the root of all my sufferings” is like the same reasoning as edelgards “the church and its systems are the root of all suffering in Fodlan” but worse, at least Edelgard is half right.

Its honestly disturbing how willing Dedue is to erasing his autonomy and personhood.

timeskip time~ JP dimitri speech tone is much more calm it makes the dissonance with what he is saying all the weirder. He just making up excuses for his bloodlust now. “they” are “evil” so its ok to slaughter them. also yay monarchists, is gilbert actually relevant in this route???. Fleche and Randolf are actually relevant in this route???? I really hate Faergus. why are all of you following dimitri on his suicide run. why would you let the man clearly not in a good mental place decide the course of the army????

ch14: I mean getting ready to torture someone is one thing. but actually threatening me? You’re on my shitlist dimitri. Boy. You dare threaten me.

Woooowww its like watching a bunch of lemming run off a cliff

Rodrigue gets a bad rap in fandom because its true he’s not a great dad, but I don’t think he’s rock bottom either. He and Felix have different world views and he just has no idea how to deal with Felix. I’d be quite funny if it wasn’t so sad.

Dimitri doesn't have a rational bone in his body

In other news I'm getting kind of annoyed at everyone in azure moon.  Like heyyy maybe monarchy is a bad idea???

I read an interesting thought on why the prologue happened the way it did.  tldr: smear tactic against the church. It'd look bad if bandits even got close to the nation's heirs. And even worse if they got injured or killed. If one of them died, edelgard could get an advantage

hot take: Claude is naive in the same way Griffith is naive

another hot take: Claude is Buddha. or maybe Claude AS Buddha. Specifically the birth prophecy thing of kingdom vs all of time space

oh to clarify its about how Claude wants to change not only Fodlan and Almyra but the whole world. The Buddha thing is that there was a prophecy that he would either be an excellent king or like a spiritual leader whose teachings would echo through time around the world. so I want an AU

me finding out about dorothea's and mercedes backstories: who do I have to kill

Its implied in the hanneman supports that hubert’s dad might have been a part of the insurrection to protect hubert

I was imagining Ferdinand and Sylvain interacting and Sylvain probably hates Ferdie's guts and then in got dark first Ferdinand dislikes nobles that aren't noble so he'd probably disapprove. sylvain would see sheltered ferdinand and want to make him suffer as he has. not to mention Ferdinand ... always looks forward, he's always trying to improve himself and I can see sylvain resenting that and himself. on the flip side both hold the chavalier position in their house, and they both appreciate the fine arts. like ferdinand is out here being an obnoxious good boy championing everything sylvain hates

me looking at all the dudes Mercedes can A support: none of you deserve her. what are you bringing HER in this relationship

the only thing i likea about faerhgus is their flag. which is just so aesthetically pleasing

petra and edelgard are foils for each other.  they are princesses from opposite sides of a past war.  both are dedicated to their nations and seek to become the person their country deserves.  both are very driven.  each was for a period of their life removed from their home country.  but their positions are very different from one another.  edelgard and petra also have a low key friendly rivalry where they motivate each other to strive for more. they should have had an A support

I've been avoiding jeritza because his character concept seems like an edgier dimitri. So I'm just here to say i like his deaign. Partly covered face + long hair? Its like the devs are out for me by pairing that with a personality I don't get along with

Unpopular opinion but ignatz's part 2 haircut is super cute

i know someone here was plotting out a persona 5 cross over, but the more I think of it, dimitri belongs in persona 4.  that game's all about facing the parts of your personality that you don't want anyone else to see.  I mean feral dimitri is basically his shadow, that part of him that he rejects

A supports/total supports Claude: 10/13 Sylvain 4/16 So here's a comparison of how their trust issues affect their relationships. Claude might be incredible closed off and even in his A supports, still be with holding important information, but given enough time he can still potentially bond with a great number of people. While on the other hand Sylvain has destroyed his ability to form meaningful connections with people, so half of his A supports are people he already has a bond with. Sylvain is a bitter resentful boy and its getting in the way of his life. oh those supports are excluding byleths

Sylvain is deliberately stupid which makes him the true idiot here

i've been wondering, does dimitri's super strength randomly activate or is he like that all the time

Dimitri and sylvain. When 1+1=0

Chess club edelgard, hubert, sylvain, claude

Edelgard assumes there will be costs and doesn't try to find a way around it. That sort of glory in being killed is faerghus' thing

I really wish I could expierence the game in its full state. What we have in yhis reality is like a shadow of what it could have been.  I just want cf and vw to be their complete, best selves. Of all the routes, AM was written first and the only one that was completed and reached its full potential. VW and SS feel like half a route with of the other routes patched in to fill the gaps.  all of byleths lines in VW are suspiciously about rhea.  In some of the cutscenes theres graphical errors where the soldiers are wearing chuch colors instead of alliance.  Some parts of VW were clearing written fot SS and shoved in last minute.  Like the Edelgard scene. That scene makes mire sense in SS where byleth was her house leader, but not as much is VW where you barely talk to her. which is a shame because that’s one of my favorites.  Byleth's lines make sense in SS which is about rhea and saving the churcv but not in VW which is about whats really happening and Claude.  The same of course applies to SS, where seteth just says Claude's lines, and its so weird. And yet VW and CF are the strongest conceptually for me (or at least tickle my personal preferences). I also don't think any route should be seen in the absence of the others. Its is all 4 route together that show what the game is about. Focusing in on any one route is an incomplete picture.  Verdant Wind was so good and yet it could have been so much better.  That gap between the potential and the actual both angers and saddens me.  Also VW is the most big picture of all the routes. Instead of diving in, it takes a step back for perspective. You can see the war as a whole instead of just what's happenibg with faergus or adrestia. You see what's actually happening. That its not adrestria vs faregus but  the remnants of an ancient war still affecting modern politics from the dominance of the churcv to the agarthans who gave been stirring up shit for centuries.  Despite all its flaws Verdant Wind is also my favorite. Its not better than the other routes... but its spirit managed to reach my crusty old heart. Its like an ugly puppy. I just see all the places it could be better... (gronder field, and that ending??)

Hanneman legit reminds me of some of my professors. Well intentioned very nice people who are just incredible nerdy. A cute old man.

for all that many of Petra's ending end up in Nuvelle, its not actually all that close to Brigid. Seems like a mistake to me

claude badgering seteth to help him with his translations of old books

also its nice that 3h does not have the male as default thing and there are female background characters. Watching the starwars movies its weird that like every mook is male

dorothea and leonie co-chair the  let's-eat-the-nobles club.  claude and petra are both like fodlan nobles are weird and helpless with goofy dances

Ingrid and raphael competing at an eating competition.  Lysithea joins in because she wants cake

I have been overcome with the sudden urge to bully sylvain.  I want to see him make the sad pouty face

ferdinand is a good boy

I like to think that Agartha while progressing in some aspects, has also lost a lot of their technology in that they can still use it but no longer understand how it works

I want  more ignatz supports. I can see him bonding with ferdinand and dimitri strangely enough

Also claude and linhardt and claude competing for who can turn their room into a library first is so great

Again... still wondering what the climate and biogeography look like. Tall trees tend to be in wet temperate with good soil.  We knoe faerhgus is cold but not how cold.  All we know is that duscur ans sreng are cold and arid/semi arid.  We'd need some interesting wind patterns for fodlan to be temperate. If the northern coast is arid. The only way the interior is temperate is if wind is goinf north to south and gwtring trapped by tje central mountain range.  I dont think garreg mach is up in the himalayas

Sothis poorly grandmafriending byleth. Excellent

Playing AM and wow I forgot how much I want to punch dimitri I just want to off gilbert

I watched one of gilbert and annetes supports and wow I want to beat him into the ground all over again. Gilbert doesnt deserve a family

Ahhhh why did I play azure moon again. I'm stuck with gilbert the rest of the route!

i got a birthday letter from gilbert... i dun wan it

Linhardt really just does not care. Not about your "traditions"  or "laws". He only sort starts caring about "morals" after remire

Count Dominic: i have made the perfect crest bearing knight's daughter Me: you fucked up a perfectly good person is what you did. look at her. she's got anxiety. Me: prepare for pain.

Time to go beat up annettes uncle for giving her anxiety.  now I know where annettes fear of failure comes from... Annette deserves so much better

Sothis really is that gremlin living in the attic

I cant believe the reason dimitri made it past gronder was that his actions were so insane that so one could plan for them

I didn't expect ashe to be my mvp this time round... but he is.  Byleth and dimitri both have good strength but are squishy. Ashe's range is insane. He gets that skill that expands range + longbow + deadeye + horse + ring. And if thats not enough canto gets him back out of range. He crits on every other hit and has like a 60% crit rate with a killer bow. He kills everything in one turn. Armor units? Magic bow. Anything else he doubles and crits.

Alao update on the cornelia conspirqcy theory: busted

She just built firdiad a functioning sewer system

Back onto the debunking of the cornelia conspiracy theory  yeah she totally got replaced

Why am I playing azure moon.... I miss Claude

So the derdriu chapter in AM.... claude isnt as heartbroken aa in CF but he's not in a good place. I think he's mourning/coping with loss (the loss of possibilites, future, what could have been etc.) just like he was in CF. It also makea me think he's planning on invading fodlan in the future. I will need to think over this.

Gautier territory is a cold steppe and known for their horse breeding. Those hairy horses have to come from somewhere

Interestingly dimitri is 3/10 strongest in the army despite being a couple levels higher than everyone. So much for that Blaiddyd strength

Flayn is scared of being forgotten isn't she

Sylvain really takes care of dimitri huh

ahhh yeess claude in a poofy sleeved white shirt

Literally dimitri: no i dont "need rest". I have a headache but thats just from lack of sleep

Rodrigue and lambert ditching class getting high on the monastary roof

Faerhgus really is one giant death cult huh

Oh wow ingrid is like unhitable. High speed + evasion ring + avo+10 +alert stance+ + defiant avo

A-after many years I have finally finished azure moon... I think part of why I don't like azure moon is that it wasn't able to sell me on the rightful king narrative. And I CAN be sold on that as both Tolkien and Claude prove. That and the continued existence of gilbert. My loathing for that man is beyond expression