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kicksaddictny · 3 years ago

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Kicksaddict Sneakerhead PROFILES Interview Series: @CakedaGawd

After a long Hiatus, we’ve returned! Our popular Profile series has been requested almost on a daily basis (Thanks for the tweets, dms and emails). We were even threatened! (Thanks by the way).

Cake The Gawd! This one was so much fun. Tap in.

Where are you from? Brooklyn, NY born in Crown Heights raised in East Flatbush.

How long have you been collecting sneakers? I was introduced to sneakers in 1991 but I started collecting for myself in 98.

What’s your favorite sneaker and why? Air Jordan 6 Infrared. It's the shoe Michael was wearing when he won his first championship, and to me just it’s just the most beautiful Jordan shoe to date! The silhouette is unmatched, it is timeless, and no matter how many times it is retroed I will buy it!

Besides your hometown, what is the best city for sneakerheads that you know of? Why? I would say LA 100% !! It is a vibe out there. I am part of a sneaker group and 75% of the people in there are from LA. They really about the culture they know their shit and they are fresh as fuck too.

Do you collect just for collecting or do you collect and rock? I collect and rock. That is why I double up on certain shoes.. Some kicks you gotta have for store and show but some you just have to rock them!

What sneaker got you into the sneaker game? I cannot pinpoint one thing, it is so many things. It was Music, my parents introducing me to Nike, my older cousin, basketball, the dope boys around the way, and my 3rd grade crush and her cousin who both had Aqua 8's. (LOL) I cannot just say 1 thing because they all had a significant part in it.

What are your thoughts on these fake celebrity sneakerheads? I hate them all! All of these dudes just get perks, some of them do not even know the shoes. That shit really gets under my skin. Showing off shoes that they get and not even knowing the name or numbers of the shoes, creating their own names. Shit is sickening. S/O to the Sneaker Gawd Wale !

How do you feel about the Off white collabs? I liked the first round of the collabs. With the Presto's, Air maxes, Blazers, and Jordan 1's. I think after that it should've been left alone. But I can respect what they are doing over there. I just won my first pair of Off-White's with the Lot 50 joint.

If you could wear only one sneaker for the rest of your life, what would it be? Air Jordan 3 Black Cement. Yes 6's are my favorite of all time but the Black Cement 3's just go with EVERYTHING!

What advice would you give as far as storing and preservation of your sneakers? Wear your kicks man. I store and rock! I get it, wanting to save shoes but putting them away and never rocking them, when you finally do ya it’s separating and crumbling. In order for your kicks to last they gotta be worn anyway. Unless you're truly just on some collecting only for show vibes.

What is the most you’ve ever spent on a pair of sneakers? $900... I was able to land Black and Red and Royal 1's from 2001 together. A friend of mine had them and said he couldn't think of anyone else. I had literally just started my new job. A chunk of my first check went to that pick up.

Have you ever waited in line for a pair of kicks? I waited in line once in my life for shoes and swore I would never do it again. It was for the 2001 True Blue 3's. I waited online at like 7 in the morning at Kings Plaza. LMAO I said this will never happen again. I didn't have the patience for it. I do not know how ppl used to do that shit or camp for kicks. I was there for 1 hour and I was like this is ridiculous.

You're also a photographer, how long have you been taking photos? I have been taking photos since 2011 but officially became a photographer in 2013.

How do sneakers play a role in your photography? That is a great question because I didn't want the 2 to mix at all. Because I'm a scenery and landscape photographer. But I got into photography because of sneakers. No offense to anyone but a bunch of these "influencers" get on IG with their DSLR cameras, take some on foot shots and call themselves "Photographers". 90% of them do not even understand lighting. I didn't wanna be one of those guys because I actually live this and study it. But recently I just started letting it be that and owning it. I am nice with this photography shit when it comes to sneakers. I have a deep connection with shoes and I love incorporating that into my art. I thank my wife for that. I told her I don't wanna be just another sneaker photographer and she said to me who said you have to be ?! I took that and ran with it. Off-White just recently featured some of my pictures on their Instagram.

I remember you saying you're a sneaker enthusiast, what is the difference between that and a sneakerhead? An enthusiast really studies sneakers. Sneakerheads just love sneakers like it ain't really about the history and all that for them. They just love shoes because it is cool and makes them feel good. Us Enthusiasts are invested. Things matter like knowing years of a shoe. For example, an enthusiast would look at a pair of Jordan's like Taxi 12's, We know Michael wore those in the 1996 - 97 season, but we also know that Martin gave away a pair on his show for the Christmas episode to the kid who had holes in shoes. They are tied to iconic moments. A sneakerhead may love Bordeaux 7's because they are dope looking shoes. Where for me it's that Michael Jordan wore those in a video with Michael Jackson and Kris Kross in the 92 Jam video. MJ and MJ in a video with Kris Kross, do you know what that did to my childhood?! Give you one more example that is not even Michael Jordan related. Piggy backing off of Kris Kross,The Patrick Ewing’s were one of my favorite kicks growing up besides seeing Pat play in them one of my favorite Hip Hop covers of all time is "Totally Krossed Out" and Kris Kross is wearing both colorways. So you see what I mean there is so much tied to it with being an enthusiast. This is just my opinion though some may not agree so don't shoot me! (Ha)

From the time you started collecting up until now, would you say that the sneaker game changed for the best or the worst? I have been collecting for 20 plus years now. I have seen the game at it's best, I have seen it die, I have seen it revive, and now I am witnessing the death of it again. The sneaker game is disgusting right now, and I honestly do not think it will ever recover. It really saddens me. It is a popularity and money contest right now.

Does pricing affect your collection? Hell No! And I hate that some people are trying to make this the norm. IDGAF if you paid $500 - $2000 for a pair, It doesn't mean shit. The narrative is getting outta hand.

What does the word “Hypebeast” mean to you? Hypebeast is a person that only buys shit for status and popularity. They cannot form their own opinion about shit. They have to wear and cop items based on what every celeb is wearing or whatever these Social Media "Influencers" are saying is hot! It is not only sneaker related either. N*ggaz were hypebeasting for PS5 last year..

What are your thoughts on the females in the sneaker game? They are the best! I wish we had a Sneaker union and it was only run by females! The men in this game are annoying and so over the top. It is so bad that they feel the need to compete with women. The men get shoes just to show off to one another. Like what type of shit is that? The females are cool. I had a dude on twitter tell me women don't know the value of a shoe let alone about the shoe. The men feel like they always gotta try to shit on the women. The women are just trying to be part of the culture and enjoy it. And they shouldn't have to try to be part of something that is open to anyone who is willing to be invested and understand the culture.

Any advice for a young kid coming up in the sneaker game? Wear what you like! Respect the game and the people who have been doing it before you. Because this new generation of sneakerheads are little entitled dicks. No respect whatsoever!! I don't care about Travis Scott shoes. Without Jordan being who he is Travis wouldn't have a Jordan silhouette to collaborate with! Same with Off-White. These silhouettes were here before these guys. Say know your history and pay homage!! BUT STAY humble.

See I follow you and I'm loving the way you include your daughter in your work, what does that mean to you? Man, it is beautiful!!!! Without even trying she is invested in the culture. Both photography and shoes. Myself and my wife are both heavy into photography, art, music, sneakers, and clothes. My daughter is into all the same things but we are letting it be her own experience. We are not forcing anything on her. We want her to enjoy being a child and whatever things she picks up from us along the way is just a bonus. But I love shooting her, and I love when she asks myself and her mother "do we like her fit". It is truly a blessing man!

All photos by CAKEDAGAWD

Follow : https://twitter.com/CakedaGawd

https://www.instagram.com/whatsinthesyrup/

#Kicksaddict #cake #photographer #cakedagawd #airjordan #airjordan1 #airjordan6 #clothing #baby #infrared #airjordan4

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dalekofchaos · 4 years ago

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My hopes for WWE & AEW in 2021 and things I hope changes for WWE and AEW in 2021

Hopes

WWE

Roman Reigns stays dominant and reigns supreme as the Tribal Chief

Keith Lee wins the Royal Rumble, joins The Hurt Business and brings the WWE Champion to the Hurt Business

Naomi returns and joins The Hurt Business and dethrones Asuka to take home the gold

The Hurt Business DOMINATES Raw

Bianca Belair wins the Royal Rumble and dethrones Sasha Banks at Wrestlemania

The Riott Squad win the Women’s Tag Team Champions

Unify the men’s Tag Team Championships

Unveil a new Title and give us WWE’s very first Television Championship. It should be styled similar to the NWA and WCW’s TV belts, but on the sideplates it should include USA and Fox on the plates. Shelton Benjamin or Ricochet should be the TV Championship

Big E reigns supreme as Intercontinental Champion and finally gets to face Roman for the Universal Championship at Wrestlemania 38

Rhea Ripley gets called up and goes to Smackdown

Mercedes Martinez dethrones Io Shirai and becomes NXT Women’s Champion

Karrion Kross reclaims the NXT Championship

Anyone but Johnny Sameface as NXT North American Champion

Queen Of The Ring. The amount of female talent available on Raw, SmackDown, NXT and NXT UK is quite something. It's clear that this is the richest women's division in WWE history. They really should do something with all those workers. The 'Mae Young Classic' tourneys have been fine, but people would trip over themselves to see a fully-fledged 'Queen Of The Ring' epic staged across multiple nights. If booked correctly, this tournament could help establish a new contender for top titles. If she isn't Champion by then(though she should be) the perfect person to become Queen Of The Ring would be Bianca Belair! Bianca Belair would have unparalleled credibility for her 'StrongEST, FastEST, ToughEST' mantra if she whipped a bevy of skilled workers to become the first 'Queen'. WWE could also get creative by linking the event in with Charlotte Flair's nickname and spinning off into a feud between her and the winner afterwards.

Form Full-Time Female Tag-Teams and keep them around. The Women’s Tag Team DIvision is a mess. Keep creating makeshift Tag Teams and breaking up established tag teams and your tag team division is dead. The current champs and their predecessors haven't even been "proper" full-time duos - Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler were shoved together awkwardly in the summer, and they've since been replaced by the unlikely Asuka and Charlotte Flair combo. This cannot be allowed to continue. It's damning that WWE don't have more fully-formed pairings ready to go. The Riott Squad are perhaps the only actual twosome who are presented as a tight-knit collective weekly. Other than that, who is there? Considering the belts have been around for a few years now, that's unacceptable. The IIconics split, so did Sasha Banks and Bayley, and the scene is littered by 'odd couple' tandems like Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke, Lacey Evans and Peyton Royce, and Billie Kay teaming with the likes of Natalya or Tamina when it suits.

Ensure NXT is treated like a proper third brand rather than a quasi-development league for Raw and SmackDown. NXT has been on USA Network for over a year now, but it's still very much behind both Raw and SmackDown as a priority. Need proof? Look at the way Keith Lee was handled when he was "called up" after SummerSlam 2020. The former NXT Champ had to start all over again, and he's had several teething problems on Monday nights. It'd be nice to see WWE move away from positioning NXT as a 'feeder' for the other two shows. Changing someone's gimmick when they leave makes the brand look less-than, and there's simply no need for that anymore; NXT should be an equal to Raw and SmackDown, not a development league. Sadly, it still comes across as that. Lee's stop/start plight and the (mis)fortunes of others like Aleister Black and Ricochet should be a lesson to WWE. Some workers are better off rocking the black and yellow, not the red or blue.

AEW

Darby Allin becomes AEW World Heavyweight Champion

Adam Page costs Kenny the title and Page gets revenge and DESTROYS Kenny

MJF destroys the inner circle from within and when Jericho realizes what just happened, that’s when MJF and Wardlow destroys Jericho

Which is when we get a Sammy Guevara babyface turn and we get MJF vs Sammy

Arn Anderson turns on Cody

AEW’s Four Horsemen is formed. MJF, Shawn Spears and FTR with Tully and Arn managing as the JJ DIllon mouthpieces

Darby Allin and MJF feud for the title

The Women’s Division is improved. The girls get more time to shine on Dynamite. Your champion actually appears(shocking, I know) and build feuds and stories for your women’s division. There’s still some time to do what’s right for your women’s division, but the only thing that remains to be seen, does the powers that be of AEW even care?

Get a new title design for the Women’s Championship. It looks like a toy for a child. It’s plastic, not gold. It should be as big and beautifully designed as the men’s titles. It should be as big as the NWA’s title or even the WWE’s title. The title is symbolic as to how AEW treats it’s own women’s division and that needs to change with a fresh new design.

Sign Thunder Rosa. It may not fix everything with the women’s division, but it gives you your needed star power. Tony Khan should be begging on his hands and knees to sign Thunder Rosa in 2021 after her time with the NWA is up, his women’s division is getting their asses kicked by what his EVP refers to as a “developmental brand”

If you can’t sign Thunder Rosa. My solution is Push Anna Jay and Britt Baker as the top face and heel of the women’s division and either of them dethrone Shida.

Changes

WWE

Leave whatever that monstrosity of a creative team they have for RAW is. Let the Wrestlers dictate what they want their characters to be. Ditch the scripted promos. Let promos feel organic and real. Let the wrestlers be characters who feel real and genuine. Get rid of a “Creative” that isn't creative and let the wrestlers be creative and let them be free of terrible creative.

Get rid of the Gimmick PPV. WWE has ruined gimmick matches by turning them into themed PPVs. none of these matches are organic or special anymore. The matches themselves are great but are booked to fit a theme of a pay-per-view, when they should be used organically at the height of feuds. no one cares about the name of PPVs, so i don’t understand why WWE does this. the only one that actually works is MITB, because it makes sense as storylines reset after Mania.

Scrap the Brand Warfare/Brand Supremacy. WWE should scrap the tired brand warfare format at Survivor Series and move away from Raw vs. SmackDown completely. Booking around a calendar has become company law in WWE over the past decade or so. Perhaps McMahon always formatted things this way really, but it's more glaring now that gimmick bouts like Elimination Chamber, Hell In A Cell and Money In The Bank have their own pay-per-views. Survivor Series, with it's played out Raw vs. SmackDown vibes, also needs a rethink. "Brand warfare" is boring now, and it has been for several years. Although 2020's event was fun, it's nonetheless true that the month-long build to Survivors feels like a repetitive slog fans are forced to sit through every November. Hopefully, 2021 will change that. It is possible to book traditional elimination bouts without some sort of false show loyalty - WWE did this almost every single year until the first brand split in 2002. Their over-reliance on Raw vs. SmackDown is plain lazy. Survivor Series should be revolved around great rivalries between stables/factions. It’s really not that hard. Or at the very least if there IS a Smackdown vs Raw themed Survivor Series, at least add a damn reward. Give the brand a head start in the Rumble,, give the winners of the match number one contenders for their brand’s respective titles or ANYTHING better than just “brand supremacy lol”

Get rid of the 24/7 title. It has run it’s course. R-Truth is funny, but even he can’t make it work anymore.

Stop. Breaking. Up. Tag Teams. Stop killing your Tag Team Division. For the love of god just stop!

Cut Akira Tozawa’s ninja bullshit. It’s not funny, it’s annoying

Kill Retribution. It’s complete garbage. It has been consistently terrible ever since Retribution began. Mustafa Ali cannot save Retribution, he’s trying but no one can save it.

Stop the 50/50 booking

Stop rewarding Nia Jax, the living botch machine for injuring her fellow wrestlers

Stop pushing Lars Sullivan. Absolutely no one wants him.

They should cut raw to 2 hours because 3 hours is unbearable

Stop the overreliance of part time wrestlers. I don’t want to see Goldberg being pushed at the expense of today’s talent and I don’t want to see Goldberg period. I don’t want to see Brock Lesnar return at the expense of today’s talent. I don’t want to see Legends return. Push your current fucking wrestlers and make stars. You idiots!

Do not rush Becky Lynch back to the ring, she just had a baby. I read the reports that Vince wants Becky back by Wrestlemania. That is a terrible decision

Stop killing pushes because Vince changed his mind

Enough with “creative has nothing for you” if your “creative” has nothing for a certain wrestler, then they are not creative. Either let the wrestlers appear on the show or release them if you don’t want them anymore, it’s simple as that.

Do. Not. Put. The. Title. On. Goldberg. Goldberg should not have beaten Bray Wyatt's 'Fiend' for the Universal Title at Super ShowDown in February - that was a huge mistake, one that set Bray back and felt totally unnecessary. In 2021, WWE should outright avoid any temptation to repeat the trick and give ol' Billy another go-around with one of the top titles. If anything, Goldberg's only purpose should be to play victim for a quick Roman Reigns squash. Get through that elusive match then turn Bill into a company ambassador. He doesn't need to pretend it's still 1998 all these years on.

AEW

Leave the overabundance of spots just for the sake of spots and enough with the false finishes. Jim Ross was right, like it or not, the spots for the sake of spots and the false finishes need to end. This is my major problem with AEW and why I can’t stand The Elite in general. Everyone just needs to get their shit in. Everything looks fake. No one can look strong or credible and we have to see garbage Indy wrestlers and the spot monkeys make everything look fake and phony. The champions never look credible and everyone is on the level of job guys. This needs to change

Stop leaving your Women’s Champion off the show. It is downright insulting how dirty they are doing Hikaru Shida. She deserves as much time to shine as the other champions deserve.

Stop putting the NWA Women’s Champion as more of a priority than your own Women’s Champion

Enough with Brandi. Why is the women’s division given absolutely 0 screentime and barely anytime to develop their stories, but Brandi is ALWAYS THERE! Everything has to be about her. When a feud between Cody and Shaq was close to happening, of course it had to be about her. She’s turned heel/face as much time as the Big Show. I’ve grown tired of Brandi Rhodes. Stop shoving that attention whore down our throats. WE GET IT! You wanna be Stephanie so bad!

Enough with Cody’s big dramatic midlife crisis entrances. We get it, you wanna be Triple H SO BAD!

Stop the petty bullshit shots at WWE. It was fun at first, but it’s getting annoying. This is Eric Bischoff giving away the results and “That’ll put butts in the seats” level of petty bullshit. AEW had the fucking nerve to tweet a fan’s post saying they did a better tribute for Brodie Lee than WWE. HE JUST DIED! AND YOU ARE MAKING IT ABOUT YOUR FUCKING RIVALRY? GROW THE FUCK UP!

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hellyeahheroes · 5 years ago

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Preview Pages and Interview for SUPERMAN SMASHES THE KLAN

Superman Smashes the Klan launches Oct. 16, with the first of three 80-page perfect bound issues. The collected edition of the story will be released in 2020. DC’s official solicitation for the first issue is below, followed by artwork from the issue.

“The year is 1946, and the Lee family has moved from Metropolis’s Chinatown to the center of the bustling city. While Dr. Lee is greeted warmly in his new position at the Metropolis Health Department, his two kids, Roberta and Tommy, are more excited about being closer to their famous hero, Superman!

“While Tommy adjusts to the fast pace of the city, Roberta feels out of place, as she tries and fails to fit in with the neighborhood kids. As the Lees try to adjust to their new lives, an evil is stirring in Metropolis: the Ku Klux Klan. When the Lee family awakens one night to find a burning cross on their lawn, they consider leaving town. But the Daily Planet offers a reward for information on the KKK, and their top two reporters, Lois Lane and Clark Kent, dig into the story.

“When Tommy is kidnapped by the KKK, Superman leaps into action — with help from Roberta! But Superman is still new to his powers — he hasn’t even worked out how to fly yet, so he has to run across town. Will Superman and Roberta reach Tommy in time?

“Inspired by the 1940s Superman radio serial ‘Clan of the Fiery Cross,’ Gene Luen Yang (American Born Chinese, Boxers and Saints, The Terrifics, New Super-Man) brings us his personal retelling of the adventures of the Lee family as they team up with Superman to smash the Klan.”

I’m really curious: How did this get started? Obviously, there’s a history to the Klan of the Fiery Kross and the Superman radio show, but how did you get your in on this particular story?

I first heard about it through the book Freakonomics; they actually devote an entire chapter to the whole thing, how this one storyline in the Superman 1940s radio show dealt a huge public relations hit to the Ku Klux Klan.

I remember reading about it and learning that the incident that set the whole thing off in the original show was a Chinese American family moving into Metropolis. So, I’ve been a superhero fan since I was in the fifth grade — the very first comic I bought was a Superman comic — and I’ve been reading Superman comics since I was a little kid, and I can’t really remember any other Chinese, or Chinese American characters showing up in any of the comics that I’d read. So, it kind of piqued my interest.

Then, I started working for DC in early 2015; I did a 10-issue run on the monthly Superman comic, and after that I’ve been part of the DC comics family. I had the opportunity to have lunch with Marie Javins, who is one of the legendary editors at DC, and this came up as an idea of what to do.

I’m super excited to be working with the artists Gurihiru. I don’t know if you’re familiar with their work, but they’re so good; they’re a Japanese art studio, but it’s really just two women — one does all the pencils and the other does all the inks. Early on, the editor and I talked about going for an art style that’s just like the old Fleischer Superman cartoons but mixed with a manga influence, and I feel like they totally delivered on that. That’s exactly what they did.

The acting is so good. It looks so simple, but what they’re doing on the page is so clear.

The acting is what puts them over the top. It’s what makes them masters.

One of the things that I like about the first issue is that you show Superman as an inspirational figure not only to the "good guys," but also to Chuck, who’s the child who doesn’t necessarily understand what Superman stands for. The iconography of Superman is shown to be this nuanced thing.

One of the things about the Superman radio show, and the original version of this story, is that it actually comes relatively early in Superman’s career. He was first published in 1938, and the story was broadcast around 1946, so that’s just eight years, and he was already a worldwide phenomenon. And especially in America, he was wildly popular. But I do feel that the Superman that we all know and love today, he wasn’t quite formed yet [at that time].

There were still pieces of him that were being solidified. And as much as the radio show impacted the real world in terms of bigotry and racism, it also helped shape Superman’s character. It was at this point where Superman really did become a symbol of American tolerance, American justice and American hope.

The subject of Superman not being a fully formed character is something you play with in the text of this book, as well as the subtext; Clark is still learning who he is — his power set, his abilities and his cultural heritage. He’s literally a character in flux, just as he was at the time when the original radio show was broadcast.

The more I read about the radio show, the more fascinated I was. When Superman first appeared in 1938, he was essentially a glorified strongman, you know? He couldn’t fly. He was superfast, superstrong, he could jump high, but even then, there was a limit put on how high he could jump. It was specifically said that he could jump 20 stories.

A lot of his development actually happened in the radio show. He actually flew for the first time in the radio show; the radio show was where Kryptonite showed up for the first time. A lot of that comes from the fact that the radio show got so popular that it became a daily thing, whereas the comic was still monthly; they really needed to develop Superman — his mythology, his world — really quickly.

So, when I learned about that, I thought, this is a comic book adaptation of this old radio show — we should play with some of those elements. We should play with the fact that he doesn’t fly, or that Kryptonite is a brand-new thing.

But despite that, he remains Superman as we know him. There’s this essential Superman-ness that comes through on every page. You talked about reading Superman when you were a kid; is this something that you just inherently “get”?

My parents were born overseas, and growing up, I went through this period of time when I had a hard time vacillating between two identities. I had a Chinese identity at home, I had an American identity at school, I had two different names! When I was a kid, I did gravitate toward Superman, but when I got into my teenage years, I started getting into characters I thought were more “cool” — cool in quotes! [laughs] — but one of the things that drew me back to Superman was realizing that he was an immigrant from Krypton.

Like, all of those things: vacillating between two different identities, having two different names, having two different sets of cultural expectations. All of the realities of my childhood, all of it was encoded in Superman.

I actually have a theory about this — the reason why Superman presents himself as “perfect” is because he’s an immigrant. I saw it with my own parents; they came here and people perceived them as “foreign,” [and] they were always cognizant of this. The way they dealt with that was by trying to be perfect citizens. I think Superman does the same thing; the reason he tries to be a perfect citizen is because he knows he’s an alien. As I built a connection with the character, that’s what it became. He really became an icon for me after I saw all of this — [Jerry] Siegel and [Joe] Shuster knew all of this, they were children of immigrants. They put all of this in the character.

I think a lot of time, when we see him on cereal boxes, or whatever, we miss that, but it’s the core of the character. The core of Superman is that he’s an immigrant from Krypton.

That ties in with something else I enjoyed about the first issue — that there is so much about Superman being confused about his cultural identity. It plays against what’s going on with Tommy and Roberta’s family — it’s a connection that you’re not hitting people over the head with. You’re showing that Superman is an immigrant even as he passes as, as you said, this “perfect citizen.”

I hope so. All of that was in the character from the very beginning. His immigrant status has been there since the very beginning and is, I think, closely tied to his being an American icon. Those two things go hand-in-hand. The immigrant story and the American story are pretty much the same thing.

How much of that is present in the original story? Was the original radio serial as interested in Superman as an immigrant explicitly? Did Tommy and Roberta play such important roles, even though they were Chinese American characters?

For the radio show, I would say that the lead character was definitely Superman, and after that, the focus was on Chuck, then Tommy. Roberta, Tommy’s sister, didn’t even exist in the radio show. For me, I wanted to center the story on this Chinese American family. I really do think of this book as an Asian American book — maybe not just that, an immigrant book. By putting this Chinese American family center stage, it really highlighted the specific immigrant side of Superman.

Spinning off that, there’s the fact that this story is being published today. We’re at a point in history now where even the discussion of immigration in America is this impossibly charged topic. It feels important at this moment to have a story — specifically, to have a Superman comic — that pushes back so clearly against bigotry and racism, that does make the appeal for tolerance.

It’s not just America. You read the news about Europe, India, or the Philippines. I started this project because I thought it was something that I needed to understand. There’s a Chinese tradition that you use the events of the past as a way of talking about the present; I did come onto this project thinking about that, thinking, if I can understand the historical context that there was something about the present that I’d understand a little bit better.

One of the things that came out of this — we’re at the tail end of the third and final book right now, as we speak; I’m just about done with the revisions — and one of the things that I’ve learned is that the world learned something about tolerance after World War II. Not just America; all of us learned something about tolerance. World War II was the worst nationalistic instincts of the world come to a head — the worst instincts of our species had manifested themselves pretty much everywhere in the world. And then, this Superman story, which arrived a year after the war ended, was primed to convey the lessons the world had learned to a younger generation.

I just think that, maybe we’re so far removed from that period that we’re beginning to forget those lessons. That was the impression that I got.

Did you go into it with the idea that this was a lesson that needs to be retaught? This is, after all, a project aimed at younger readers? Were you thinking in terms of, lessons needing to be relearned in today’s culture?

To be honest, I was more going into it thinking that there were things that I personally wanted to understand better. The original storyline was very didactic, but I don’t think it was just about the lesson that was explicitly said in the story. It was also about the historical context in which that story came out. I wanted to go in to try and understand that a little bit better. I’m hoping that me wrestling with those issues comes across in the story.

You said that Chuck was one of the lead characters in the original version of the story, and one of the things that’s compelling about the first issue is Chuck’s story. He’s a character who’s leaning toward bigotry and hatred, and is pretty explicitly being taught that by his family, but you don’t write him off; there’s the implication that he can go another way, he can learn to be better.

Chuck’s a character in the original radio show, and in the comic adaptation, we kept all the big pieces of who he is. He begins as kind of a bigot, but he has an arc. To fill out that arc, I did read a book called Rising Out of Hatred, it’s written by a guy named Eli Saslow. It’s the biography of Derek Black, who is David Duke’s godson; he went from being the heir apparent of the American White Supremacy movement, and he’s the exact opposite now. When he’s not in hiding — he had to go into hiding — he’s speaking out against the views he was raised with. I read that book wanting to understand how someone could make that transition; I wanted to embed some of that in the character of Chuck.

Changing gears somewhat; you’re a National Ambassador for Young People’s Literature, and comics specifically. When you’re working on a project like this, especially on a character as iconic as Superman, is this something that you can see as a tool for new readers to use to get into, not just Superman, not just comics, but stories about things that are happening in the real world? Stories that matter.

I actually feel really lucky to be working in comics today. I think over the last, maybe 10 to 20 years, we’ve seen this shift in the public perception of comics. More and more, people are open to the idea of comics dealing with serious topics, and I hope this project fits in with that. I do think that there is a growing wave of comics that want to tackle the very heart of what it means to — do you know the book Bitter Root? It’s an Image Comics title that’s coming out right now.

Yeah, Sanford Greene and David Walker’s book.

I think that book is one of the best examples of using genre to talk about very important and serious topics. I’m trying to do something similar with this Superman book.

- Admin

#Superman Smashes the Klan #Roberta Lee #Tommy Lee #DC

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echodrops · 5 years ago

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The League of Villains Plays DnD AU

(Saw a post by @bunny-loverxiv last night that reminded me I’ve had this stupid thing in my drafts unfinished for over a year now. I’m not sure I’ll ever have time to come back and finish it, but in the spirit of what I posted earlier, here it is, in all its unfinished.. glory...)

Since I asked for a League of Villains plays DnD AU and no one delivered, alas, I guess I’ll just do all the work myself!

So, without further ado:

Shigaraki Tomura’s Character Sheet:

Race and Appearance: Fallen Aasimar, with hair pale as the flesh of wraiths and eyes like two burning pools of blood, reflecting out from the infernal pits of the abyss. His rippling muscles under his bone-white skin carry the scars of his uncountable victories, and when his corrupted celestial powers radiate forth, ghostly skeletal wings rise--

( “Do I have to keep reading? This is really long...”

“It’s important!”)

Alias: “Zephiroth”

(”Isn’t that the guy from Final Fantasy?”

“No! That was Sephiroth! My character’s name is totally different!”)

Class: Oath of Conquest Paladin/Hell Knight

Motto: Dim the Ray of Hope

A dread knight whose armor is black with the blood of his enemies; to stand against him on the field of battle is to know true fear, and none have called themselves his equal and lived to tell the tale. His menacing aura is a cloud of evil righteous murder that spreads across the land as he advances, and everywhere he travels is seeped into the deepest of despairs. Civilizations tremble before the darkness of his impossibly dark darkness.

(“Did you run out of adjectives?”

No, I meant exactly what I said.”)

Also, collects the severed hands of his conquests.

(”Tomura-kun, this isn’t a character, this is just you!”

“Collecting body trophies is standard lore for conquest paladin; you’d know if you read Xanathar’s Guide.”)

Alignment: Chaotic Good

(“Shigaraki Tomura, I am not sure this alignment fits with the character you’re describing--”

“I wrote the campaign, so good’s whatever I say it is.”

“Boss, doesn’t playing in your own campaign defeat the purpose? Knowing everything ahead of time’s a great idea!”

“Shut up, I don’t care about spoilers.”)

Backstory: Zephiroth the Bloody swore an oath to complete the conquest of his father, King Jenovo, who fell in battle to his eternal rival and estranged foolish younger brother, Nimbus Might ( “You know, I really think I’ve heard these names before...”). Jenovo’s quest was undoubtedly a noble one: to reunite the brothers’ separated kingdoms under a single legitimate banner--and its single legitimate ruler. The two brothers clashed in a battle of titans that shook the entire world, and though he was in the wrong, Nimbus Might reigned supreme in the end, and took Jenovo’s life and kingdom both. The death of his father crushed the last remnants of joy and love in young Prince Zephiroth’s black heart and now he will stop at nothing to put an end to Nimbus Might’s reign by turning every symbol of his false kingdom to dust.

Notable Stats and Weapon: +5 Intimidation, +5 Persuasion; greatsword and shield wielder.

Tomura is a quintessential min-maxer; he made everyone else take the standard array for stats but... “rolled” for his.

(”This old man’s been reviewing the character sheets, Shigaraki, and couldn’t help but notice some discrepancies in the party’s stats compared to yours--”

“You’re welcome to not play. Ever.”

“Must have been a trick of the light!”)

Carrying: The holy relic “Lavos”

(”Isn’t that just from Chrono Cross?”

“I think you mean, Khrono Kross, Spinny.”)

The relic is a glowing black and red container imbued with a hellish aura, containing magical bullets said to be formed from the blood of the time goddess, allowing Shigaraki to permanently unwind his opponents’ powers. Limited use, 5 times.

Dabi:

Race and Appearance: Tiefling.

(“Did you not even bother to write an appearance?!”

“My character has the same appearance as me.”

“That’s not even possible. Tieflings are supposed to have horns!”

“Okay, my character has the same appearance as me with horns.”)

Alias: “Dabi”

(”You can’t name your character after yourself!”

“But I’m not named Dabi.”)

Class: Phoenix Sorcerer

Motto: Ashes to Ashes

(”You can’t play this class either, it isn’t canon.”

“You told me to pick one from the wiki; ain’t my problem you didn’t specify.”

“I said no homebrew!”

“And that means... what?”)

Alignment: Chaotic Evil

(”You ignored my instructions about our alignment too, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, but you said ‘good’ so I assumed I misheard.”

“We’re the protagonists of this story--our cause is just!”)

Feats and Skills: ...Hmm, for some reason, many things have been written and then crossed out?

(“W-What have you done?! You can’t just modify things however you feel! Why would you even swap out Nourishing Fire for an Elemental Affinity that deals ice damage?! And did you just scratch out ‘long rest’ and put ‘short rest’ here? That’s OP!”

“When the hell have any of you let me get a long rest?”

“Animal Handling as a skill, seriously?!”

“Figured you’d give me some monsters to tame.”

“Go fuck yourself!”

Shigaraki was, in fact, planning on there being monsters for Dabi to tame.)

Backstory: A traveler with a shadowy past.

(”That’s... your whole backstory? Are you freaking kidd--”

”Aww, come on Dabi, this bio is lame! Oh, I know, I know! You’re actually a prince in disguise, exiled from his kingdom and seeking vengeance on his father, the one who left him horrifically burned and on the brink of death, which caused you to be rescued by the soul of a lonely phoenix, and at the end of your quest, after reclaiming your rightful throne from your evil father, you free the phoenix who possessed you to save your life, but then it returns and swears its eternal love to you! Eehee!”

“We’re...not doing that.”

“You can’t do that anyways, it completely undermines my lore. There are only two kingdoms in this world, and I’m going to be the ruler of both of them.”)

Notable Stats and Weapon: +3 Deception, +4 Insight; wields darts.

(”But why do I even have to pick a weapon? It says right there I have Burning Hands.”)

Carrying: A shard of never-melting ice in the shape of a three-petaled flower; it exudes a calming chill even when wreathed in the wildest of fires. Looking at it makes you feel... melancholy?

(”Why is this the only section with detail?! If you could put this much effort in here, you should have taken the rest seriously too!”)

Mr. Compress:

Race and Appearance: Human, a man in the prime of his life, with a roguish glint in his eye and a rakish gold mustache above his mysterious smirk. There’s an artfully placed scar below his right eye that speaks to a life of the blade and adventure, and his pressed linen and metallic brocade doublet belies his nature as a man of impeccable taste. His jaunty black bandana is always pulled low over his eyes, but mischief seems to twinkle out from beneath the accompanying black mask nevertheless.

(“Oh, I like it! A lot! Hey, hey, will you rewrite mine for me? Make it like yours but cuter!”)

Alias: The Dread Pirate Roberts

(“Huh? The first part is good, but why “Roberts”?

“Well, no one would surrender to the Dread Pirate Westley.”

“What are you snickering about, Kurogiri?”

“Nothing at all, Shigaraki Tomura.”)

Class: Multi-class Swashbuckler and School of Conjuration Wizard

Motto: To the Pain!

(“These two classes don’t compliment each other at all. You should change to Hexblade at least!”

“As you wish.”

“Kurogiri’s laughing again. What are you two hiding? Tell me!”)

Mr. Compress knew full well the classes he picked didn’t mesh; he just lives for the shits and giggles. He’s actually been playing DnD longer than Toga’s been alive, but where’s the fun in telling Tomura that?

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Skills: Acrobatics, Persuasion, Performance, Sleight of Hand

(“Okay, but am I the only one who actually created a real character instead of a self-insert? DnD’s a role-playing game; isn’t the whole point to use your imagination?!”

“Ain’t our fault your real self is too boring to be a decent character, Lizard.”

“You never miss an opportunity to insult me, do you, asshole?!”)

Backstory: Although he came from unremarkable origins, Westley Roberts found himself thrust on to the path of great destiny when the merchant ship on which he was employed was attacked by the Dread Pirate Roberts--

“How can he attack his own ship? You forgot your own name, didn’t you?”

“Not all, Shigaraki! I’m not that old!”

--but when Roberts heard the tale of Westley’s quest to prove himself for the one he loved--

“Wait, who is this other character now? There was no love interest listed before!”

“Just let me tell the story!”

--Roberts was overcome by the depth of Westley’s tale of woe and decided to name him his successor, passing down the title of Dread Pirate Roberts--

“Can I change my character to a Dread Pirate?”

“No, Dabi!”

“I’m just sayin’, why was I not informed of this option?”

--sothathecouldmildlyterrorizethewatersaroundhishomekingdomandfinallyamasstherichesneededtoimpresshischarminglove. PHEW! Thank you for letting me finish!

Notable Stats and Weapon: +4 Dexterity, +5 Charisma; wields a rapier with impeccable skill. Is definitely not left-handed. Carrying: A Rodent of Unusual Size. Excellent distraction. Also edible.

“What is wrong with everyone in this room?!”

And the rest of the League I didn’t finish, but:

Spinner: A gorgeous lady Argonian who spits beams of pure light--

“No, this is too cool. Change it.”

“Awww come on, Shigaraki, just let me have this--”

“Change it.”

Toga: Tabaxi assassin. ON A QUEST FOR LOVE. (May or may not have decided this after peering over Mr. Compress’s shoulder during character creation time.)

Twice: Halfling wizard. None of his stats make sense because he couldn’t make up his mind where to put them.

Hawks: Aarakochra bard. Entirely useless. That asshole who rolls to seduce everything.

Kurogiri: The DM. But not by choice.

There’s no Giran or Gigantomachia because I started writing this before either of them were really “part” of the League. Use your imaginations~

#League of Villains #Dungeons and Dragons #DnD AU #boku no hero academia #Shigaraki Tomura #Dabi #Mr. Compress #dabihawks #but like only as a joke #because I can't take anything serious #dabi is a todoroki #BNHA #these are like completely and totally official #don't @ me

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closetofanxiety · 6 years ago

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Impact Homecoming thoughts

Hey, I ordered this on the Fite TV app! Where the hell is my calendar??

Anyway, here we go:

I enjoyed this show! I watched it along with @ioplokon via the magic of the Internet, and it was a lot of fun. I see the usual Impact naysayers online are saying the relative lack of Twitter chatter about this show indicates the Company That Wouldn’t Die is in great peril, but I spent years predicting the demise of TNA only to be proven wrong every single time. I will say that the timing of this PPV was not spectacular: mere days after Wrestle Kingdom, and following two weeks of clip shows on TV. Oh, and it cost $40. The old PPV model is dead dead dead, and even ROH has adjusted its plans accordingly. I am a lunatic with a reasonably generous disposable income, so I bought it, but how many people like me are there?

I am glad that they announced their weekly show, which is moving to the TV wilderness (literally, it’s a wilderness channel) of Pursuit, will also be simulcast for free on Twitch. I don’t know what that means about the current financial viability of the company, but it does mean, in the short term, I can actually watch Impact in real time. And Impact’s been really good for a solid year!

Thoughts on the show:

* Fun opener! Putting Ethan Page in the X Division championship scramble thing was a great idea, because he brings a different feel to a match that otherwise would likely feel like a cruiserweight showdown. Page probably should have won, honestly. Having Swann win is ... uh, whatever. Swann’s a good wrestler, but even without the Baggage, he’s never really been the guy to be the face of a division. He was a solid midcard dude in PWG, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but I think that’s probably his top dollar best.

* What a trip it is seeing Jordynne Grace on a pay-per-view, even in an era when that model is pretty much dead! Ironically, I think this is the most money I’ve ever paid to see Jordynne Grace wrestle, and I’ve seen her in person like a billion times. She’s terrific. She’s a star in the making. This match also featured Su Yung, who I obviously adore. Her work doesn’t always translate in a TV match - she’s best as a brawler, and her greatest skill is absorbing inhuman amounts of punishment - and it was a little shaky here, but in general this was a fun match. I don’t 100 percent buy Allie as an Evil Creature of the Night, but she’s definitely thrown herself into the role. Rosemary returned at the end, kind of predictably, but it was still welcome.

* Willie Mack is great. Just so agile and nimble for a big man, and with gallons of natural charisma. I love watching him wrestle. I have never seen a Willie Mack match that is not, at least, a hoot. Sami Callihan is ... I don’t know. It feels like he’s kind of spinning his wheels. When he left NXT, there was a period like a year when he was on an absolutely ferocious tear, and that momentum has really just translated into a midcard villain job and a kevlar vest. Maybe he’s distracted by doing a million different things in wrestling, but it feels like a long time since he’s been a realistic choice as The Dude. On commentary, Josh Matthews says “Sami Callihan is treated like a god in Dayton, Ohio,” which, even if it is untrue (it is), tells us everything we need to know about Dayton.

* Eddie Edwards vs. Moose was a blast! So fun. Just a crazy, all-out war. Ioplokon aptly said it was like watching ROH in 2010. There were some genuinely bonkers spots in this match, moments where I thought, Gentlemen, ease up. I think Eddie’s never really gotten his due, but matches like this show he totally deserves to be considered part of the top rank of non-WWE wrestlers. Did it have kind of a goofy setup? Sure, it involved Raven in a mental institution. But I *like* goofiness. I watch professional wrestling. The name of this blog is taken from a thing Kevin Sullivan used to say while pretending to be a devil worshiper who conjured Mark Lewin out of the Atlantic Ocean. There should be more goofiness in wrestling. Also, Alisha Edwards showed up at the end of this match and nearly broke a dang kendo stick over Moose’s head.

* I just can’t get into Eli Drake. He seems like a character you have to face in a preliminary match on a wrestling video game. Just not my kind of wrestler. He beat Abyss in a Monster’s Ball match which was certainly a match that happened.

* The tag match between LAX and the Lucha Bros lived up to expectations as a completely crazy spot-filled sprint of total mayhem. I saw this matchup at Americanrana ‘17, and it was the only time I’ve seen people throw money into the ring. These guys are so well suited as opponents, and the crowd was absolutely cooking throughout the whole thing. A lot of fun. Watch it if you get the chance. LAX deserve to be huge stars.

* The women’s title match between Tessa Blanchard and Taya, with Gail Kim as referee, should have been the main event. There was a good story here, with the expected tension between Kim and Blanchard, and overall it just felt like more was at stake. I did NAWT agree with the finish, because Tessa should have lost clean, but it at least raises the tantalizing prospect of a Gail Kim feud with Tessa. I know Gail is “retired,” but wrestlers never retire.

* The main event happened! Tape Machines said on Twitter it looked like the kind of match where one wrestler is working through a case of the flu, and that’s about right. Everything felt weirdly disjointed and disconnected, not even a spotfest so much as a hastily assembled spot collection. They should have put the belt on Brian Cage, but for some reason they didn’t. Killer Kross came out after and beat up Johnny and Taya. I guess we’re getting a Killer Kross feud with Johnny Impact, which, uh ... listen, Impact is better than it’s been in a long time but it’s still a work in progress, OK?

#Impact #TNA #show reviews #Impact Wrestling

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trustatwork · 2 years ago

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Wowhead full discography

It was about creating a distinct groove so arrangements came from weaving in and out of those linear grooves. The sequence/arpeggiator parts were all drum machine triggers that were played live. I’ve always seen rhythm at the core of what I do so I loved the layering of counter rhythms. I became very adept at pressing record then jumping onto equipment to play it – it was actually a very ‘live’ record in that sense. “I slept very little in those days,” he adds, continuing: “It was done on 8 track and very multi-tracked, so lots of recording, then bouncing, and overdubbing, to get the integrated feel of the tracks. “Pow Wow” was commissioned by the Fetish Records label, and recorded at the Cabs’ Western Works studio, where Mallinder would spend his days recording with Cabaret Voltaire, and continue on alone into night recording his debut solo material. There was a sense of new magik emerging.” We were just as interested in turning over rocks to see what lay beneath, as throwing them. There was acknowledgement of the importance of books, films, graphic art, and experimentation with all those mediums. Punk had championed a visceral, anti-intellectual approach but in truth the real characters brought so much more to the table, and what began to happen- from people like The Pop Group to Throbbing Gristle, and emerging scenes from No New York to Factory Records – is we began to embrace the art of it all. Much looser vibes were in the air and there was a much more exploratory feel. The primal caterwaul of punk was dying and lots of really significant things were emerging from the fires. “It was an interesting, and inspiring, time. Some words from Mr.Mallinder on the scene and era from which “Pow Wow” was born: This collection of mutant dub/funk/postpunk sounds just as fresh and contemporary in 2020 as it did in 1982 (note Autechre’s inclusion of standout cut “Del Sol” in a mix earlier this year), and highlights Mallinder’s crucial contributions to Cabaret Voltaire. Now expanded to a double-LP, and also released on CD/digital, it’s a definitive reissue which now includes Mallinder’s early solo discography in its entirety. This discography lists the recorded performances as a duo and individuals.A new sub-label of the longstanding Canadian electro imprint Suction Records, Ice Machine - focusing on old-school wave/post-punk sounds - is thrilled to present a new, deluxe reissue of “Pow Wow”, the debut 1982 solo LP from Cabaret Voltaire’s Stephen Mallinder. The Neptunes discography - The Neptunes are a two member producing group consisting of Pharrell Williams and Chad Hugo. Contents 1 Albums 2 Singles 2.1 Featured Singles 3 Guest Appeareances … Wikipedia Stories *2003: The Northise Compilation inglesoloFeatured… … Wikipediaĭa Brat discography - This is the discography of the American female rapper, Da Brat. Swizz Beatz discography - This is the discography of Swizz Beatz, an American hip hop record producer/rapper.Albumstudio*2007: One Man Band Man *2008: Life After the Party Compilations*2002: Presents G.H.E.T.T.O. Jermaine Dupri production discography - Songs produced or written by Jermaine Dupri.1992Kris Kross Totally Krossed Out * Producer of the whole album Jermaine Dupri *Singels: *02 Jump *04 Warm It Up *09 It s A Shame *10 I Missed the Bus 1993 =Kris Kross Da Bomb = *01 Intro (Produced by… … Wikipedia My Baby (Bow Wow song) - My Baby Single by Bow Wow featuring Jagged Edge from the album Unleashed Released 2003 Format CD single Recorded … WikipediaĬhris Brown discography - Chris Brown discography Brown performing in 2008 Releases ↙Studio albums … Wikipedia Background information Origin London, England … Wikipediaīow Wow - Infobox musical artist Name = Bow Wow Background = solo singer Birth name = Shad Gregory Moss Alias = Born = birth date and age|1987|03|09 Origin = Columbus, Ohio, United States Genre = Hip hop, pop rap Occupation = Rapper, actor, and record… … Wikipedia Bow Wow Wow Bow Wow Wow, 1982, West Berlin. Bow Wow Wow - Not to be confused with Bow Wow (band) or Bow Wow (rapper).

#Wowhead full discography

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oddstructure · 6 years ago

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vimeo

This Must Be The Place: Post Punk Tribes 1978 - 1982 from MikeKeegan on Vimeo.

THIS MUST BE THE PLACE: POST-PUNK TRIBES 1978 – 1982 Friday, July 27 – Sunday, July 29

After the much-hyped filth and fury of the initial punk movement almost instantly combusted or codified, things got much more interesting. In the halcyon pre-internet days, regional scenes were allowed to grow and develop their own identifiable and often highly idiosyncratic sounds, word of one another’s development spreading slowly through fanzines and small mail order distributors. Lucky for us, there were also cameras laying around, and the rare films in this series provide an invaluable snapshot of one of the most exciting – and one of the most loosely-defined – periods of music in the 20th Century. THIS MUST BE THE PLACE is your highly opinionated guide to viewing these creatures in their native habitats.

Friday, July 27: LA BRUNE ET MOI Filmed in 1979, barely released in 1980 and subsequently completely lost until 2005, LA BRUNE ET MOI (a play on the French translation of ‘50s rock & roll film THE GIRL CAN’T HELP IT, LA BLONDE ET MOI) was surreptitiously shot in eight days on borrowed equipment. There’s a love story in there, but it’s mostly an excuse to show great performances by Ici Paris, Artefact, Edith Nylon, The Party, Marquis De Sade and gads more. Dir: Philippe Puicouyoul. Starring Pierre Clementi, Anouschska and Pierre-Jean Cayatte. In French w/ English subtitles. Digital. 1979. 50 mins. 7:30pm

ROUGH CUT AND READY DUBBED Shot on Super8 between 1978 and 1981, ROUGH CUT AND READY DUBBED captures and questions the splintered, post-Pistols UK punk scene, from scenesters to skinheads to legendary BBC Radio One godhead John Peel. Featuring performances by A Certain Ratio, The Selecter, Cockney Rejects and Sham 69. Dirs: Hasan Shah & Dom Shaw. Digital. 1982. 59 mins. 8:40pm

Plus – a SPECIAL SECRET MOVIE after the 8:40pm show! You have NOT seen this thing!

Saturday, July 28: THE SLOG MOVIE David Markey’s homespun 1982 document of the LA/OC early ‘80s hardcore scene, THE SLOG MOVIE serves as fanzine on film, combining incredible live performances by vital bands of the era (such as Circle One, Red Kross, TSOL, Fear, the Circle Jerks and many more) along with segments of hangin’ out at Oki Dog with Pat Smear and Randy Rampage, a Raymond Pettibon skateboard commercial, and much more. An indispensible document of a time, place and (under)age! Dir: David Markey. Digital. 1982. 59 mins. 7:30pm

I CAN SEE IT AND I’M PART OF IT: San Francisco Punk Portraits 1978 - 82 The time between Richard Nixon's resignation in 1974 and Reagan's ascent from CA governor to U.S. presidency in 1981 marks a prolific surge of artistic and creative production across California, often taking a sharp trajectory from the 60s utopian idealism as a strong sense of distrust and disillusionment cast its long, dark shadows and was reflected in music – once again, the natural channel for response, reaction and outrage. In San Francisco the thriving music scene developed its own punk conceit, an arsenal comprised of bands, filmmakers, artists, clubs and the ever-supportive denizens along for the ride. Gender factors largely into the equation as women were not merely audience members, but forceful contributors driving the scene. The boundary between the spectator and performer was often blurred as audience members were inspired to pick up instruments, form bands and be on the stage the very next week. The DIY aesthetic prevailed… and the cameras were rolling! I CAN SEE IT AND I’M PART OF IT is a unique glimpse into SF’s punk past – an archival treasure trove comprised of moving and still images, both amateur and professional. This shorts program, curated especially for THIS MUST BE THE PLACE, includes but is not limited to: IN THE RED is a slice of life from the perspective of two friends (co-directors Liz Keim and Karen Merchant) who followed the scene at close range. A poetic tapestry of live performance, intimate interviews (Will Shatter exposed!) and cityscapes. In the Red gives insight into a creative and politically charged environment at the dawn of the 80s. A dusty and gritty gem! Dirs: Liz Keim & Karen Merchant. Digital. 1978. 20 mins. LOUDER, FASTER, SHORTER is raw and powerful performance document recorded at the Mabuhay Gardens in March 1978 during a benefit concert for striking Kentucky coal miners. Bands UXA, The Dils, The Avengers, Sleepers, and Mutants raised over $3000! Beautifully shot, it’s an insider’s view that takes you to the belly of the beast, a musical time traveler’s delight. Dir: Mindaugus Bagdon. 16mm. 1978. 17 mins. BRUCE CONNER, a key figure in San Francisco’s artistic community since the 1950s, began documenting the SF punk scene in 1977 when his friend Toni Basil (the dancer from his seminal film Breakaway and of “Oh Mickey you’re so fine…” fame) invited him to see Devo. This portion of I CAN SEE IT AND I’M PART OF IT includes a slideshow presentation of Conner’s legendary portraits of individuals and performance shots, a primary element of the history of SF punk. Conner segment includes music videos he made during this time: MONGOLOID (music by Devo), and Mea Culpa (feauturing music by David Byrne & Brian Eno). Special thanks to Michelle Silva and Robert Conway of the Conner Family Trust, Paule Anglim, Christine and Travis and from Paule Anglim Gallery. Dir: Bruce Conner. Digital. 1977 – 1981. Approx.15 mins. Complete Program Length Approx. 70 mins. 9pm

BUZZ OR HOWL UNDER THE INFLUENCE Despite the heavy regionalism we’re focusing on in this series, these bands did not exist in a bubble. Through various magical combinations of guile, luck, stupidity and very hard work, plenty of bands got in the van and relentlessly criss-crossed the nation, serving as Johnny Appleseeds of the underground. Once the van was back on the road, a new scene had sprung. Thanks to the Hugh M. Hefner Archive of the Moving Image, we’re tapping into an unimagined motherlode of live footage from the likes of Public Image Limited, Black Flag, the Avengers, Suicide and many more, much of it shot for regional television programs or personal collections. 16mm/35mm/Digital. 1978 – 1982. Approx. 75 mins. 10:20pm

Sunday, July 29: DEBT BEGINS AT 20 Filmed in dour, totally appropriate black-and-white (much like that other paean to the Pittsburgh existence, NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD), DEBT BEGINS AT 20 is a completely charming and accurate portrait of how artistically-inclined punk and synth enthusiasts in smaller regional scenes made the screechy, caterwauling tuneless tunes we’ve grown to fetishize. And why did they do it? Because they were bored out of their minds. – Bret Berg, Destroy All Movies Dir: Stephanie Beroes. 16mm. 1980. 50 mins. 7pm

DOWNTOWN 81 Jean Michel Basquiat is your cash-strapped guide around downtown Manhattan circa the end of the world, or more accurately 1981. It looks like a neutron bomb went off, and the only living creatures left are the weirdo, omnivorously post-everything musicians and artists hiding in stark lofts, cramped apartments and moldy nightclubs. This movie is an embarrassment of riches: watch DNA shred through “Blonde Redhead”, see James White & The Black’s aggro no-wave soul revue live on stage, plus Debbie Harry, Tuxedo Moon, Kid Creole & the Coconuts and more. DOWNTOWN 81 is, simply put, the coolest. Dir: Edo Bertoglio. Written by Glen O’Brien. 35mm. 1981. 73 mins. 8:15pm

Programmed by Mike Keegan and Gina Basso. Special Thanks to Bret Berg, Zack Carlson, Jake Perlin, David Markey, Liz Kleim, Mindy Bagdon, Michelle Silva, Robert Conway, Paule Anglim, Linda Scobie at Canyon Cinema and Dino Everett at the Hugh M. Hefner Moving Image Archive at the School of Cinematic Arts.

BUY TICKETS HERE!: roxie.com/events/details.cfm?eventID=9FE12C85-1143-DBB3-C64E870C3A396A85

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the-house-of-the-nine · 7 years ago

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The Void Forge: Insurrection Part 3

Elsewhere in the valley below, down the narrow pass toward the exit. . .

[VD] Along the narrow hill climb toward which the exit of the valley was, Verzatea and the group of spellcasters eagerly awaited with hexes drawn and spells at the ready.

They would have no idea what was coming at them at this point. The only mission they were given was to ensure that whatever came down that pass was not able to leave. It could be the entire force coming at them.

Verzatea nervously swallowed a lump in her throat. She was The Confessor. It was her duty to not only safeguard the fears, and concerns of her fellow cultists. But ensure their safety on all levels was at maximum. She was a gentle girl, fragile and innocent at the start. But years of abusive magics and mental conditioning seemed to have taken its toll. She was hardened now, and much more versatile than when she was a naive spellcaster. She would never let herself or those she cared about succumb to harm. And as she struck another rune across the ground, her dark eyes peered up toward the growing threat racing down the valley.

“Confessor. . .” spoke a blonde haired girl, no older than the Confessor was when she started with them.

“I see them, steady yourself dear.” Verzatea stated in a calm tone as her eyes elevated and her turned up nose would glance away from the threat. “There is nothing to fear, we stop them here.”

Boots and armor clashing against one another would be the sound as it echoed from the heavy stone walls of the valley. Thunderous, quaking, there was a great foreboding dread that soon rushed across the group of casters.

“Steady. . . steel yourselves.” Verzatea hissed again as her glowing fingers ripped through the air again, a dark rune would race across the ground and slam into the stone wall just at the bend, embedding itself there. “They will not get the drop on us.”

“What if it went wrong?” asked one of the students.

“What if something happened to tip them off?” asked another.

“What if The Inquisitor failed?” cried a younger man, shaking in his robes and clinging to himself.

-SNAP-

Verzatea spun her head around and the look she gave that man. If he could have felt the burning of her eyes on his flesh, it would have melted him where he stood. Her anger and wrath of such a statement being made nearly caused her to slap him across his face for such treachery. But as she peered to him, it was clearly evident that his fear for the coming enemy was soon outweighed by the fear he felt for those eyes staring back at him.

“I did. . .didn’t. . .i didn’t mea. . .I did. . .” stumbled the same man.

“You’re correct, You - did - not. Remember what you were told. . .” Verzatea snarled in her own dry and miserable manner. Choosing to use his own naivety against him. “The Inquisitor does not allow failure. . .not from his students, his order, from us. . . or himself.”

Those who were present began to turn and look at her. They were her children, these youthful spellcasters were taught by her. In the weeks leading up to the siege Kross and Verzatea had worked with these students to prepare them for this. She knew as she spoke they would listen, and listen they did.

“You are here because you are our family. You are the children of The Nine, the future. . .and you are the key to this victory. We are here to ensure that those soldiers. . .” she tore her calm stance for just a moment and faced the empty pass with her profile, her hand jutting outward and with a narrow finger pointed down the corridor. “Those cultists . . . do not break through this line. For if they do, we will watch as a sea of their brothers and sisters consume every last one of us. . .We hold this line, We ensure that every last one of our own lives this day. . . We are The Nine. . .”

Her chance of being a leader. Did she fail miserably? There was a shaking silence that swept through the chatter of her students. They were not speaking or questioning her anymore.

The sounds of the armor and boots racing down the pass soon growing louder, as were the screams of fear and panic that were being ripped from them. It was clearly evident that they were only a few minutes from turning the corner and finding their position.

Verzatea remained still, her finger still pointing toward the pass as her glowing fel fire eyes glanced from face to face that was standing around her. Did they respond? Were they inspired?

One set of hands slowly raised up in the fashion of the spellcasters, hands opening and igniting a pair of runic symbols from his flesh. Another set. Followed by another. And another. Soon the entire collection of students were flowing energy into their hands and standing ready to engage the enemy.

Verzatea offered a smirk. She curled her lips and nodded her head. And just as she turned to face the pass once more, the sound of the students coming together overtook the screams of the enemy. They stood as one force and would attack the second they turned the corner.

[VD] The cowards hadn't stood a chance, for the moment they even recognized there was danger afoot were the casters upon them. Vicious spells were sent their way, men and women bursting into flames or falling apart as though the threads holding their limbs together had suddenly slackened, one even having a burst of spiders explode from his insides and consume him inside out. The first onslaught had easily demolished eighty eight of their foes, and it was the final blow away of runes on the ground, mere feet from their salvation, that two of the eight unknowing,

[VD]They stumbled onto in their desperate effort to save themselves. They both would be paralyzed. Tensed and solidified in their looks of horror and agony. With a final nod from the Confessor had one of her students chanted the appropriate incantation, both of these stones crumbling before their eyes like a sped up erosion of wind whittling down stone. Among the eighty eight to perish, six remained cowering in bushes or behind trees along the mountain paths, spared of any horrors inflicted upon them-- Yet. For Verza’s casters wasted no time in detaining them.

They were victorious, and the spellcasters and students took the six remaining Twilight Hammer cultists into custody. They would move them to the flank of their group and lock them in a heavy cage of magical energy and spells. A total of 7 would be taken, the one Arakoa and the six here. Her job was not finished though, Verzatea would keep the vigil until the Raven took to the sky once more to give the victory call.

Back in the valley at the entrance of Grim Batol. . .

The two thousand or so Wildhammer dwarves that had been amassed to try and reclaim this area were finally reaching the bottom of the mountain pass. They had chattered and spoke during the entire descent to the basin. It was clear now that they were there, that their suspicions were confirmed. The cultists were killed, and badly. Most looking like they’d done themselves in. But many looked to have been felled by their own cultists. This act confused the Dwarven commanders and soldiers who were looking about trying to make sense of all of this.

Koltun slowly walked over to the edge of the cliff side and peered down. Beside him was a fallen dwarf. The man had killed him earlier and without saying a word, placed his foot against the chest of the corpse. Vari watched him with a mild interest as he grabbed the wrist of the dwarf and began to pull. The demon flexed his upper torso as his body wrenched backward. And using the glaive of his craft, straightened the dwarf corpses arm and sliced it clear through the bone just above the elbow. As he reclaimed his blade to his back, the fingers of the hand would be pried away from the war-horn it was holding.

“Give the signal, my dear.” Koltun said as he held the horn in his hand, peering back at Vari.

Pyravari could only chuckle softly under her breath. She knew he was a demon, and still coping with his own darkness, but the act of slicing off an arm to get the horn, rather than taking the horn made her smile. It was an act of cruelty that she knew all too well. And the fact that these two forces had reunited, actually caused her to smile, it was not often she did.

Her blade was raised into the air, and suddenly several dozen archers would ready their bows and arrows. She looked toward The Speaker who was also prepared to go. And without saying a word, tore her blade through the air to begin the siege.

Koltun blew the horn to break the attention of all those in the valley, hoping to insight confusion and madness through their ranks. That would be the dwarven horn, the one sound they knew meant ‘help’. And after clipping it on his belt, the demon leapt into the air; spread his wings and grabbed the hand of his lover.

Vari and Koltun then glided down into the valley like a terrible storm of darkness. Their soldiers were racing down the pass of the mountain to meet them, and the archers let out a volley of arrows to start picking off the dwarves.

They landed, blades drawn, and a pair of fel fire and lich fire eyes peered at one another.

“If we die. . .” Koltun began but was cut off.

“We don’t die.” Vari corrected with a snarl.

“But if we do. . .” he took a step toward the dwarves who were still collecting themselves and realizing the enemy was there. They began to charge. “I wanted to tell you. . .”

She looked toward him. She tilted her gaze, her eyes searching for him.

“I’m responsible for the two dozen bushels of pomegranates Kross is currently in the process of filling your room with. . .” Koltun yelled quickly and flashed her a grin then leapt into the air toward the dwarves.

Vari actually froze. Her eyes wide, her gaping mouth unsure of what to make. Why did he always do this. . .

“Dammit Kolt!” she yelled as she charge in after him. “Why!”

“Kisses, dear!” laughed the demon as he drove his glaives through the first, second and third dwarf he found. They would soon begin to separate and the sound would be too much to hear one another.

[AS] Asphodel watched as the harbinger and her lover cut through the dwarves with their forces currently on their way down to join them. A smirk, small at first, came to life on her lips as her magic swirled around her, her body like its own thunderstorm as sparks of violet energy began to cascade from her form.

[AS] As the dwarves continued to fall one after another it would only add to the collection of corpses already waiting for her. She raised her hands toward the bodies of the dead, her fingers reaching toward them as they outstretched. It was a second nature for her, she would raise those that were dead as easily as she breathed. Her runic tattoos slithering about her skin as she laughed uncontromablely.

[AS] She laughed and laughed, in an almost musical sound, especially as she danced about with the song the bells hanging from her earrings would make. She was mostly alone on the top of the mountain pass as she looked down at the chaos below. Corpses of cultists, dwarf and more would begin to reanimate and start cutting down any she would point them to. As a wildhammer shaman tried to rush her from behind, perhaps a survivor from their first assault, on of the dead that they’d cleared grabbed hold of his ankles and tripped him onto the dirt. As he laid there, struggling and writhing, another set of hands tore at his flesh. He cried and screamed for the ancestors to offer him pity but as his throat was split open by the sound of crushing teeth, his words were over. Blood shot from his neck, the dead corpses swarming him would begin to devour the dwarf while he was still alive, and soon enough; after his passing, she would animate him as well.

[AS] The Harbinger and Demon below were like a pair of intricate dancers on the battlefield. Neither one needing to think about their actions of their partner, it just came natural. Dodging one axe and grabbing the hilt, spinning the enemy and finding the other had ended its life. They worked like a well oiled machine. As she The Harbinger spun her massive rune blade cutting down anything that was in her path, the demon was right there by her side, leaping from left to right, and bounding over and about cutting down any that dared to try and approach his lady. The pair had a bond, and it was intense; this much was clear. The ease in which they fell into battle was like poetry to those who were allied to them. But the wave of death and fear to the wildhammers only caused their body count to rise. they were no match for such a talented pair.

[AS] By this time, The Speaker had descended onto the battlefield below. As she walked through the death and destruction with a legion of shambling corpses behind her, she continued to cackle and hum like a child playing in a field of wild flowers. Her fingertips would brush against the corpses she raids, each becoming a new slave to the death that had taken them, becoming a new wave of enemy to crush their former brethren.

[AS] “Rise. . .Rise. . .Rise!” she sang, power flowing through her veins as she cut a swath of mayhem through the remaining enemy.

[AS] Those who did remain could not help but look at the oncoming wave with fear in their eyes. They were pinned. Stuck in the middle while facing off against cultists of the Nine and corpses of The Hammer. The Speaker was raising fresh dead that they cut down and it seemed they were being encroached upon by The Harbinger coming from one side with her demon, and the Speaker and her legion from the other.

[AS] Yet despite the successful pincer and closing in darkness that crept upon the Wildhammer, one slipped past the tide of dead and before the Speaker nor the Harbinger realized and could do anything, one of their own was felled. An axe through embedded in his throat; a warrior under Vari, one she had trained herself. As much as The Speaker could feel anger coming from the lich, She would try her best to calm her under normal circumstances. Now she simply stepped aside. The Harbinger let out a banshee like war cry. Her own necromatic energies raising above controllable levels, and the final half of corpses that were still yet to come to life would rise. A legion combined with their own living forces would be bolstered by some nine hundred or more from the entire army of dead that were now standing around the enemy.

[AS] The battle was over within minutes. The massive force of dead made short work of the remaining dwarves. And soon after the screams and cries had finally died down, they were left with a pile of dead and the remaining shambling corpses. One by one they would die off, no longer needed. The two necromancers released them to death.

And then there was silence. Silence as the forces started to tend to the wounded, and move the dead from their general area. Silence as the smoke would slowly recede from the scene.

To be continued. . .

@pyravari

@whatadarkbitch

@lyvraynefloralis

@thebladeitself

@suncrest-legacy

@daltalah

@lady-dawnblood

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ws-dirtsheet · 4 years ago

Note

Yeah yeah hook ups and flings are interesting and all, but talk to me about the long term couples. The dating for a while, engaged, married, have kids sort.

Give some assessments on their relationship dynamic from what you've seen. What do you adore? What questions do you have about their relationship? Give some love to the established partnerships~

LET’S GOOOOOOO.

I LOVE LOVE.

Now, I’m not gonna comment on every couple. I’ma leave some wiggle room for Q.

Bayley and Rickey? Adorable. They’re so friggin’ sweet, man. The fact that he’s been there to allow Bayley to say FUCK, as she should, and to bust light tubes over someone’s head, as she should, make my old man heart grow three sizes. It’s warm. It’s comforting. It’s like when you dated that one person you met at a punk rock show and they have one of those hoodies with the thumb sleeves that they cut themselves and it smells like them and low-key a little like a concert, which isn’t the best, but it’s comforting. It’s familiar. It’s good.

Chelsea and Kross? I feel like she brings out his younger side. His more playful side. I know, it’s probably mad judgmental to assume he’s just a hardass 99% of the time, but most of the dudes I know like him Are, and it’s not like he wasn’t when I was still Haitch’s assistant. But that’s always good. Bringing someone back to the better, calmer, happier times. Jokes and fun. They’re like a comedy club or somethin’-- laughs and fun and when you get to the back, you’ve got the support you need.

Shida and Zane? That’s the kinda love you just gotta admire. I don’t know if it’s a word they’ve dropped yet or anything, but it’s the things you read about, yanno? It’s pure, it’s gentle, it’s supportive. It makes no sense but all the sense in the world. They’re like a movie or something. I’ve seen the plot 100 times, but it never really gets old. They seem like a perfect fit. Like they were both just waiting for the moment that allowed them to cross paths and I’m really happy that they finally did.

EC3 and Allysin? They’re that genuine friends-to-lovers shit. The girl that would yeet her pal across the world for doing some stupid shit. The dude that would punch someone’s face in for the other. It’s always natural when it comes to be. I remember brief rumblings of their relationship when I was around everybody and sure, the start was the start, but it feels like it was meant to be. They just had to be emotionally ready for it. I dunno. They’re like good beer. None of that weird flavored shit. Nothin’ too hipster. A nice Bud Light, perhaps.

Eva and Tyr, they’re just that mushy shit. That stuff that’s almost sickeningly sweet and too much sometimes, but at the same time, it’s one of those things you wish you had to tell the grandkids about. That “Notebook” type of shit. That “if you’re a bird, I’m a bird” ordeal. They seem to fill in each other’s holes, in... non-sexual ways. But sexual ways. I’ve heard stories. I’ve seen things. I don’t voyeur, but I see things. They love each other, man. That’s the big thing, and that love is strong. That love is reliable. That love is something that everyone wants, I think. Just the complete, forgiving acceptance and comfort. It’s good shit.

Then we’ve got some kinda somethin’-somethin’s.

KStat and MJeff were a thing back when I was around. And it seems like they’re back to a thing. And I’ll be honest-- I kinda like those progressions. The moment of realization of, “Wow, holy shit, I fucked up one of the best things I had going in my life.” And that seems like what it is this go around. It’s good to see that second chances still exist. That you’re not expected to be perfect and you can make the world’s stupidest mistakes and still find yourself back with the person that makes you the happiest, and it seems that way. I might be totally off base, but it’s got the vibe. I don’t know what to compare them to, but it’s good.

Dakota and Roman, ok listen. LISTEN. L I S T E N. We love a relationship built on banter. If you can’t roast the one you love, do you really love them? They seem to keep each other very grounded. Dakota’s unwavering support during Roman’s diagnosis? How much he was there for her when her knee injury happened? How involved she is with Roman’s kids? You can tell that they’ve got a great vibe of support and equity in that relationship. No one is left wanting. Sometimes you may have to carry the other person, but it’s not a burden, because that love is just so evident. Plus, hello, Big Dawgs. Meant to be, fam, ordained by the stars.

Elizabeth and Derrick, I mean cmon man have you seen her?? Derrick is a lucky dude. But this seems like one of those “get you a man who makes you laugh” things and honestly, he’s got a great sense of humor, and is wildly self deprecating, which means he doesn’t take himself seriously sometimes, which is good. He knows how to keep things light when they need to be, which definitely can help with some heavy stuff. Liz seems a bit quieter, which is a nice counterpoint to Derrick’s loud ass, but from what I have seen of her, she seems like a goddamn angel. Definitely another instance of friends to lovers and listen, it’s a trope for a reason. It’s beautiful, and her being the sweet Southern girl and him being the loudmouthed New Yorker shouldn’t work, but it does, and I think that’s the appeal. Balance, baybeeeee.

Harlow and Tracy are ADORABLE. To be fair, I don’t see them too often but whenever I do, you can tell that Tracy basically just like... worships the ground Harlow steps on, and truly, who can blame him, she is a KWEEN. A GODDESS. YES MUVA. They seem the sort of couple who have long running inside jokes, always know how to keep things interesting and exciting, and even though they may not loudly advertise their relationship - hey some people are more private and they have every right to be - you just know that it’s a truly love built on understanding and care. You love to see it.

Scarlett & Joey, gosh, ok. Opposites attract sort of thing, but I love that a lot of the time??? From what I know of Joey, that boy has some hidden depths to him. He may act the jackass himbo on the outside, live the gimmick brother, but you know he’s seen and been through some shit. He’s not as self destructive as he was before, and I do genuinely think a lot of that was with Scarlett’s help. She didn’t change him; she helped him want to change himself for the better, and you love to see a healthy relationship like that. While first impressions of Scarlett for those who don’t know her may see her as possibly aloof or cold, homegirl’s been through the fire herself a few times, so I don’t blame her for wanting to keep some shit close to the chest. It feels like Joey’s allowed her to open herself up more, and it’s just a beautiful thing to see.

Under the ‘something something’ category as Rhett called it, ok, like... Ellie and Xander. That one is so fascinating to me, because I’m really still tryna get their vibe, I wanna understand them. Not that they’re not understandable, I just mean that I’m still tryna get a good comparison vibe, see what energy we workin’ with here. They super cute tho. Very smitten with each other, they’re both hot af, and the absolute balls on Xander to be in any semblance of an entanglement with the kid sister of Mox, WHEW. I hope it works out for them, because they both seem like very lovely and funny people who really could bring out the best in each other. I’ll be keeping a very close eye on them. Because, like, that’s my job, but also I’m #Intrigued.

#( gossiper: q )#( gossiper: rhett )#Anonymous

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placetobenation · 4 years ago

Link

Bobby Lashley is the WWE Champion.

16 years after his starting with the WWE, Lashley is finally king of the mountain, taking out The Miz in the main event of Monday Night RAW. It’s definitely good for business as now The Hurt Business has two titles in their stable, joining Tag Team Champions Shelton Benjamin and Cedric Alexander. It also gives Lashley a chance to grab a main event slot in WrestleMania, something he surely is deserving of as they move out of The Miz’s transitional and very short reign as WWE Champion.

Now, will we get Lashley vs. Drew McIntyre on the biggest spotlight in the industry or will it be another road? Could it be a Lashley vs. Brock Lesnar match in the offing? That surely would add some spice to the two-night event in April for sure.

He was our star of the week last week and no reason to look anywhere else for another one for this current seven days. Lashley endured the mess that was The Miz and his constant evading of going one-on-one with him until he was forced into the lumberjack match that saw his demise.

RAW

RESULTS

Drew McIntyre defeated Sheamus

Nia Jax defeated Naomi

RAW Tag Team Championship Match: Cedric Alexander & Shelton Benjamin defeated Braun Strowman & Adam Pearce to retain titles

Damian Priest defeated Elias

WWE Championship Match: Bobby Lashley defeated The Miz by count out – The Miz retains title

Charlotte Flair defeated Shayna Baszler

Riddle & Lucha House Party defeated RETRIBUTION

Non-title United States Championship Match: Mustafa Ali defeated Riddle

WWE Championship Lumberjack Match: Bobby Lashley defeated The Miz to win title

Very good:

What a match! These two absolutely delivered tonight.

#WWERaw @DMcIntyreWWE @WWESheamus pic.twitter.com/YtIkn5leBb

— WWE (@WWE) March 2, 2021

Drew vs. Sheamus – Kudos for those guys for going toe-to-toe and leaving it all out there in a match that’s worthy of any PPV. They said they would put on a war and they did. Good way for the former WWE Champion to get back going after a tough loss at Elimination Chamber.

WHAT. IN. THE.#WWERaw pic.twitter.com/FWquLJQLs3

— WWE on FOX (@WWEonFOX) March 2, 2021

Randy. Randy. Twice as Dandy – The trilogy of Alexa Bliss, Randy Orton and The Fiend is easily the best thing going on Monday nights. Each week, we seem to get a new WTF moment and this week did not disappoint. Is The Fiend coming back as Randy Orton’s alter ego? My curiosity is peaked to the max!

.@mikethemiz just ran out on this #WWETitle Match! #WWERaw @fightbobby pic.twitter.com/5EsaiJMgkX

— WWE (@WWE) March 2, 2021

An ALMIGHTY prophecy fulfilled.@fightbobby is your NEW WWE Champion! #WWERaw pic.twitter.com/wooQs61mbq

— WWE (@WWE) March 2, 2021

Bobby Lashley vs. The Miz – I thought it was well done the way they portrayed the WWE Championship Match throughout every hour of RAW. Sure, The Miz running out to keep his title at 9pm seemed like a WTF moment. But it’s what a true heel would do to keep his belt. Total desperation. Plus, it led to Shane McMahon putting together the lumberjack match in which Lashley sealed the deal to become WWE champion. The Hurt Business is truly a stable of gold my friends!

The good:

Elias vs. Damian Priest – Priest continues to shine and Elias provides the foil for Bad Bunny.

Ali vs. Riddle – An impromptu one-on-one match between these two after RETRIBUTION lost to the team of Riddle & Lucha House Party was a nice surprise. Mustafa Ali getting the win in their first meeting also sets up a possible title match down the road too. Give these two 20 minutes and we’ll all be winners.

The meh:

Nia Jax vs. Naomi – Just keeping it short doesn’t do it justice. It’s just a waste of time. I’d rather see a pre-produced piece with Naomi or have her wrestle someone else. Jax gives me nothing in the ring. She could take a few pointers from Tamina on SmackDown, who’s putting things back together for some interest.

Charlotte Flair wants a title match – Yawn if we’ve seen this before. Flair wants Asuka at WrestleMania. OK. Nice win over Shayna Baszler though after dismissing the double team from the tag team champs.

The very bad:

.@CedricAlexander & @Sheltyb803 grab the victory, and @BraunStrowman is NOT pleased.

#WWERaw @ScrapDaddyAP pic.twitter.com/dJZwOJR6PI

— WWE (@WWE) March 2, 2021

Braun Strowman, Adam Pearce and Shane O’Mac – I will never understand why WWE doesn’t want anyone in the WWE Universe to know that Adam Pearce was a 5-time NWA Champion. Instead, they’d rather him be portrayed as a bumbling buffoon in the wrestling ring. It’s a missed opportunity in this day and age where histories and backstories can be brought up in a click or a tap on social media. As for Shane McMahon and Braun Strowman fighting each other, which is where all this is going, I couldn’t care less. Plus, does it make any sense to put the tag team championship in the middle of it after Shane said last week that you don’t just come to the ring and get a title shot? Short memory folks.

NXT

RESULTS

NXT Tag Team Championship Match: Oney Lorcan & Danny Burch defeated Tommaso Ciampa & Timothy Thatcher to retain titles

Ember Moon defeated Aliyah

WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship Match: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler defeated Dakota Kai & Raquel Gonzalez

Cameron Grimes defeated Bronson Reed

Non-title NXT Championship Match: Finn Balor defeated Roderick Strong

EXCLUSIVE: Witness what took place between @FinnBalor & @AdamColePro after #WWENXT went off the air as things quickly got heated! pic.twitter.com/VUUMEPW10z

— WWE Network (@WWENetwork) March 4, 2021

A champ. A controversy. A Cameron throwing cash. That’s NXT wrapped up in a nutshell Wednesday.

A remarkable win for the #WWENXT Champion in an amazing match against @roderickstrong! pic.twitter.com/aj0VdOB8LA

— WWE NXT (@WWENXT) March 4, 2021

First up, Finn Balor. He dominated the show from start to finish. Not only did the NXT Champion start the night with a tongue lashing for Roderick Strong, who began the night begging for an explanation from Adam Cole on his betrayal actions of the last two weeks, he also took care of Strong in a very good main event. In between, Balor got Cole’s attention by offering him a title shot coming up this week, an offer that Cole gladly accepted and went face-to-face as the show ended and after the cameras went dark. Balor has definitely upped his game the past month as we hit the road to WrestleMania.

The encounter for the #WomensTagTitles ended in a bit of controversy… HOWEVER… STILL your @WWE Women's Tag Team Champions are @QoSBaszler & @NiaJaxWWE! pic.twitter.com/6B9iYkzD1b

— WWE NXT (@WWENXT) March 4, 2021

The controversy comes in the form of the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship. Dusty Rhodes Women’s Tag Team Classic winners Dakota Kai & Raquel Gonzalez got their promised title match, but it didn’t quite end the way they wanted. After a decent back-and-forth, Jax and Gonzalez not only took out themselves over the announce table, but also left the NXT referee out of commission. So, when Baszler put Kai in the Kirifuda Clutch, WWE official Adam Pearce brought in his own RAW referee to call for the end of the match and the win for the champs. Of course, Kai wasn’t the legal woman in the ring, that was Gonzalez, who was left outside the ring. So, while William Regal and Pearce argued in closed quarters after the match, the NXT general manager has vowed an announcement that will change NXT forever this Wednesday. Could it be NXT’s own Women’s Tag Team Championship or could it be something for WrestleMania? All eyes are on your Mr. Regal.

Thanks to an unexpected distraction by #LAKnight, @CGrimesWWE gets the win against @bronsonreedwwe!#WWENXT pic.twitter.com/sejXfOm42w

— WWE NXT (@WWENXT) March 4, 2021

Cameron Grimes was back in the ring, full of cash to take on Bronson Reed. But instead of what looked like it was going to be a sure loss, LA Knight, who had some timely glances with Reed before the match, got involved to cost Reed the win and give Grimes an unexpected victory. Could it be an alliance moving forward or just a one-time coincidence? Either way, both Knight and Grimes walkaway winners for the night.

Elsewhere, Tommaso Ciampa and Timothy Thatcher stepped up to take the tag team title match that MSK was supposed to have before Wes Lee’s broken hand took that off the table. In the end, Oney Lorcan & Danny Burch retain the titles as Imperium with Alexander Wolfe watch on. Something tells me, Mr. Wolfe has something in mind for the champions.

Kayden Carter is looking for revenge and will try to get it coming up this week against Xia Li. Also, looking for revenge is NXT Women’s Champion Io Shirai, who accepted Toni Storm’s request for a one-on-one title match. I’d expect that one to open the show this upcoming week.

Don’t mess with Legado del Fantasma! Santos Escobar and crew made that well known, returning from last week’s No DQ loss to Karrion Kross to take out Breezango and Ever-Rise in short order, blowing up their expected match. Who’s next on their radar?

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?!?!?!?!" – @JohnnyGargano#WWENXT pic.twitter.com/M90aO2mcif

— WWE NXT (@WWENXT) March 4, 2021

Finally, what do we make of The Way. Johnny Gargano brought the “family” to therapy in hopes of getting them all back on the same page after last week’s fiasco with Dexter Lumis. In the end, Gargano gets his way, paying off the therapist to have Austin Theory believe that Lumis didn’t like him at all. It served its purpose to give the show some levity for sure.

SMACKDOWN

RESULTS

King Corbin defeated Montez Ford

Angelo Dawkins defeated Sami Zayn

Dominik Mysterio defeated Chad Gable

Bianca Belair defeated Shayna Baszler

Steel Cage Match: Daniel Bryan defeated Jey Uso to win Universal Championship Match at Fastlane

Whenever I start to watch SmackDown on Friday nights, there’s always a good and bad part to their opening segment for the past few months. The good – Roman Reigns is a part of it almost every week. The bad – it’s a talking segment almost every week. This week, we get Daniel Bryan and Reigns facing off with Michael Cole in a promo segment that was very truthful, very real and very believable. Unfortunately, it took until 26 minutes into the show to get any in-ring action. Just saying folks. Switch it up from time-to-time.

King Corbin really doesn’t like Sami Zayn. That works and it builds perfectly into Zayn’s conspiracy theory. So, when Corbin refuses to be Zayn’s partner, we get a pair of singles matches with Angelo Dawkins taking on Zayn and Corbin fighting Montez Ford. Ironically, Zayn’s distraction helps out Corbin to get a victory but the favor isn’t reciprocated in Zayn’s loss to Dawkins. Friends. No. Enemies. Maybe.

Payback is a Mysterio I guess. Last week, Otis had the upper hand but this week, it’s Dominik Mysterio with the upset victory over Chad Gable. Plus, Rey gets a little physical with Otis over the announce table to boot. Looks like this feud is just getting going.

Shayna Baszler being anything less than a badass and brutalizing everyone in the WWE is no longer acceptable. To me, her pairing with Nia Jax needs to end and let Baszler go on her reign of terror. But of course, that’s not going to happen anytime soon as she loses to Bianca Belair in a singles match Friday night. The match was nothing amazing and got the predictable chaos outside the ring with Jax and Reggie getting involved. Talk about your rough night for Reginald. First, he gets fired by Carmella. Then, he gets decked by Belair outside the ring before being slapped by his favorite Banks. Then, Jax says he’s cute Poor Reggie! I feel for the guy.

UH OH!@CarmellaWWE just fired @ReginaldWWE on #SmackDown! pic.twitter.com/Cbj7errXA9

— WWE (@WWE) March 6, 2021

That's about as clear as it gets, @ReginaldWWE…

#SmackDown @SashaBanksWWE pic.twitter.com/sFlGD1FOQS

— WWE (@WWE) March 6, 2021

BTW: Why exactly are Banks and Belair getting another title shot at Fastlane? Lack of creative maybe?

Welcome back Buddy Murphy. I guess we’ll just forget about the whole betrayal of Seth Rollins a few months ago, right? Murphy told Rollins he could help him out with the Cesaro situation. But all Murphy got for his trouble was a swing and a miss.

"This is not the new Apollo. This is the REAL Apollo." – @WWEApollo #SmackDown pic.twitter.com/n2uaVkJkVv

— WWE on FOX (@WWEonFOX) March 6, 2021

You can tell that things are looking up for Apollo Crews. Now, he has bodyguards, a spear and a new accent. Apparently, it’s the “real” Apollo Crews from Nigeria. Maybe Vince has been watching Coming To America 2 lately.

Ding Dong. Hello. Well, it seemed more like we needed to fill two minutes of time. Sorry Bayley, that was a stinker with your sweet tweets.

.@WWEDanielBryan has done it! He's headed to #WWEFastlane to battle @WWERomanReigns for the #UniversalTitle!#SmackDown #SteelCage @WWEUsos pic.twitter.com/bwyRRKhZvU

— WWE (@WWE) March 6, 2021

It was fitting that Bryan caps off the night by making Jey Uso tap out in the Steel Cage main event match. Bryan’s climb back into the title picture saw another level of Bryan’s determination to get another chance, a fair chance this time at Reigns championship after a loss at Elimination Chamber. Watching Bryan celebrate on top of the steel cage reminded me of a similar celebration I watched here in Providence, Rhode Island when Bryan came back from the dark side and the Wyatt family. Given the even championship match this time, Bryan vs. Reigns could be a classic at Fastlane.

Parting Shots:

Last week, it was Paul Wight defecting from the WWE to show up in AEW. This week, Wight says there’s another “Hall of Fame worthy” star that he knows is coming to AEW at this Sunday’s Revolution PPV. All the expected suspects have been rumored. CM Punk, Brock Lesnar, Kurt Angle, Mark Henry, Christian and others are on that list. I’ll add in Tessa Blanchard and Gail Kim as a pair who should be thought about as well although Tony Khan, the President and owner of AEW said in an interview on Busted Open on Sirius XM that “he” would help us in referring to the superstar coming in to All Elite Wrestling. Either way, AEW has done a better job in building this “surprise” up than they did by just dropping Wight’s signing over a social media post. Make no bones about it, AEW is stepping up their game against the WWE and this Sunday’s Kenny Omega vs. Jon Moxley exploding barbed wire death match for the AEW Championship should be worth the hype.

Coming up this week:

RAW: All Mighty Championship Celebration of Bobby Lashley

NXT: NXT Championship Match: Finn Balor vs. Michael ColeNXT Women’s Championship Match: Io Shirai vs. Toni StormXia Li vs. Kayden Carter

SMACKDOWN: Big E returns – Apollo Crews demands match

Thanks for letting us share our thoughts! Shoot me an email at [email protected]. We’d love to hear your comments and suggestions! You can also check out my blog, The Crowe’s Nest as we delve into more pro wrestling, sports entertainment and the World of Sports. My apologies ahead of time – I AM a Patriots, Red Sox, Celtics and Bruins fan! If you’re not down with that, I’ve got TWO WORDS for you… NEW ENGLAND

#IFTTT #Place to Be Nation

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authoressskr · 7 years ago

Text

This Secluded Glen

Written for: @d-s-winchester’s Fall in Love with Fall Challenge

Pairing: Castiel x Reader

Characters: Reader (Hey, that’s you!), Castiel, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Donna Hanscum, mentions of Jody Mills and Claire Novak

Warnings: SMUT (it’s not very good smut, but I tried - maybe call it smuttish instead), Language, ugh, can’t think of anything else now...

Summary: Sleepy Hollow is your side passion - besides saving people and hunting things - and Dean calls one night with a lead. And to tease you about your crush on their resident angel.

Tagging: @lyndsay88 @nobodys-baby-now @lucis-unicorn @chelsea072498 @thewhiterabbit42

“Hello?” You huffed, adrenaline still running high after the tussle with the ghost graveside.

“We got a case.”

“So nice to hear from you too Dean! No, I’m fine! Thank you for asking! How’s Sam? Cas? Good, good.” Donna chuckled at the rampant sarcasm, her face aglow with amusement and the fire from the grave.

“Can you meet us?”

“You know, I always cherish these moments with you.”

“Next time I’ll have Cas call you,” Dean answered with a knowing chuckle.

“Well, it’s been nice talking to you. Tell Sam I said hi.”

“Alright, alright. That was a low blow. Can you meet us or not?” You shifted the shovel from its place tucked under your right armpit to your left hand, moving it back and forth absentmindedly. Donna moved away from the fire a few feet to take a call of her own, lifting her hand to point to the phone at her ear. You nodded at her, wishing the fire would burn faster but the little motel-sized bottle of vodka you’d had in your car and the dry autumn foliage was the only accelerant you’d had on hand...so this might take a bit. You sigh.

“Depends.”

“On?” You can hear Sam’s voice in the background, but can’t quite make out what he’s saying. “Dude, I’m asking. ‘Kay. Well, Sam mentioned you were kind of an expert on whatever the hell this is supposed to be.”

“High praise.”

“Is that Y/N?” You hear Cas over the speakerphone which Dean must have just switched it to and fight the warmth that is rising in your cheeks.

“Hi, Cas. Hi, Sam.”

“Hello, Y/N.”

“Hiya, Y/N. Did Dean tell you we found a case?”

“First thing he said to me actually, Sam.” As the fire began to die down, you dropped the shovel down into the grave to poke at the ashes, watching Donna approach you.

“Don’t act all pissy with me, princess.” You roll your eyes, letting Donna take the shovel as you turn your own phone to speaker.

“Your phone skills are lacking, Dean.” You mutter, following beside Donna as you make your way away from the grave, carefully picking your way through the headstones as the leaves crunch under your feet.

“Hi, Winchesters!” Donna calls out cheerfully, a bright smile on her face.

“Sherriff Hanscum!” Sam calls out. “How’s it going?”

“Better now that Y/N helped me with the ghost. Jody was busy, so she sent her on down. Didn’t even take a whole 24 hours!” You duck your head at Donna’s praise, making her elbow you lightly.

“Y/N is a very thorough hunter,” Cas adds and Donna lets out a little squeal.

“Are you Castiel - the angel?! Claire and Y/N told me ‘bout you!” Donna catches your glare and attempts to backtrack. “Oh, not that we talk about you a lot. Just in passin’, ya know?” You give up and just slap your free hand over your forehead and eyes, stopping at the tree line. “Not that I’m not curious!” She adds hurriedly and you can hear Sam and Dean snicker on the other end. Asshats.

“Alright, alright. Can you meet us or not?” Dean questions again as Donna loads the shovel into her cruiser’s trunk then leans against the side.

“You haven’t told me anything except you found a case. What is it that Team Free Will can’t handle?”

“It’s not that we can’t handle it -”

“Dean, Y/N gave you very detailed instructions to call her if a case came up in or near Sleepy Hollow, New York.” Cas interrupts and you can picture his handsome face so sternly lecturing -- wait.

“Sleepy Hollow? THE Sleepy Hollow?” You manage a deep breath before continuing. “You know what Dean? No. Have a good night Sam and Cas.” Your about to jam your thumb onto the red “End” button - which isn’t half as satisfying as slamming a phone on a receiver or the click of an old school flip phone - when Sam’s voice is calling your name.

“Y/N! Don’t hang up!”

“You gotta give him a chance, Y/N!” Donna yells in tandem, her hands outstretched and aloft in a “Stop” gesture.

“Send me the details, Sam. I’ll read it when I pulled over for my first break. And Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“Just remember I got a hell of a right hook.”

“And I will not heal you from any injuries that Y/N delivers upon you.” You want to brush this off but you know your face has softened at his declaration. Dean’s laughter surprises you a little and when Donna sees your lips curl slightly, she scoffs before smiling herself.

“I love to annoy you, Y/N. You know that. And we’ll be seeing you in few hours.”

“Uh, no. I drive the speed limit, buddy.”

“We’ll see you soon, Y/N. Oh, and I’ve just emailed the news stories to you. And directions.” Dean snickers again and you’d bet your bottom dollar that Sam has a huge grin plastered on his face.

“I get lost once and you two will never let me live it down.”

“Nope. See you soon, kiddo.” Dean calls out and you hear the chair scrape.

“Wait - I have not gotten to say goodbye to Y/N.”

“Goodbye and goodnight Cas. I’ll see you all soon. Bye Sam. Bye asshat.” You disconnect the call, tucking the phone into your back pocket before meeting Donna’s knowing gaze.

”Come on, let’s get you back into town for some shut-eye. You can get a couple hours at least.” Arching an eyebrow, you make your way around to the passenger side and slide in. “Dream some sweet angel-filled dreams.” And there it was.

“Not you too Donna.”

”Oh, I’m all for it. I ship it hard. Isn’t that what that means? All aboard the SS Love Boat featuring Y/N and Cas!” She toots the horn as she pulls onto the road, her laughter filling the cab.

“See if I bring you any more of those caramels you like.”

“I betcha I’ll get lots of those caramels if you get laid.”

---

Even with three hours sleep, you arrive dead ass tired in the town that had fascinated you since childhood.

The seventeen-and-a-half-hour drive was made in about fifteen, which gave you a little time to nap before the Winchesters and Cas showed up. You asked for two rooms, texted Sam that you’d gotten them a room beside yours and you were laying down. Not waiting for a reply, you enter your room, and immediately pulled out your handy dandy notebook which held your handmade stencils. You pull a small can of glow in the dark spray paint out of the side pocket of your duffle before kneeling. You spray on the stencils right above the old baseboards, all except the angel warding, which you put by the light switch with a post-it note below it that read ”Scratch and Sniff: Angel Edition”. Chucking off your dirty skinny jeans and tossing on an overly large t-shirt, you crawl into the cheap motel’s bed, clutching your pillow as you drift off.

---

Three hours later, Dean and Cas kept a lookout while Sam picked the lock to Y/N’s room. A handful of seconds after that, Sam was easing into the room, smirking at the post-it note on the table next to their room keys. “˜Take the keys only if you aren’t going to have loud, obnoxious sex next door. Or sing “Jump” by Kris Kross in the shower at ridiculous-o’clock in the morning.” Y/N and her damn post-it notes. Dean taps the post-it note by the switch, a soft chuckle coming out before he watched Cas slip into the room, closing the door behind him softly, eyeing where he knew she had placed the wardings before his gaze traveled to her sleeping form on the bed farthest from the door. At least she had finally fixed it from the previous hunt they all worked together on.

Sam tossed Dean his room key before shooting Cas a knowing look and slipping through the connecting door. Dean jerked his head towards the open door, Cas following behind with one last look towards Y/N.

“Gonna grab some food, then wake her up and go over everything. Gonna stay here?”

“Yes. I will stay.”

“Thought so.” Cas heard the rumble of the Impala retreat and he wandered back into Y/N’s room, sitting on the edge of the empty bed, listening to her deep, even breaths.

The moment he had met her, it’s like the world had shifted. Each movement she’d made while fighting the vampire was a dance. To someone else, it would seem not as rough, not as trained as Sam and Dean’s kind of fighting - but to him, it was a dance to which only you’d known the music. Three vamps were dead by your hand before he snapped out of it, smiting a few before standing beside Dean, waiting for an introduction. “Oh, by the way, this is Cas. He’s an angel,” Cas had fought not to shoot a sharp look at Dean, extending his hand out. You had taken his hand, squeezing it and smiling at him warmly.

Each encounter, ten in total - not counting this current case - had only made his feelings grow and consume him. Every smile, joke, show of your intelligence and the kindness that radiated from your soul had him longing for you. Desperate for every look and touch you would bestow on him.

He heard your breathing pattern change, watched you shift under the covers then settle back down just minutes before he heard the Impala once more outside.

Dean and Sam entered through their room door, leaving their jackets and taking quiet footsteps into her room. You shifted again, the smell dragging you from unconsciousness.

“Are those tacos?” The rough sleepiness of your voice had Cas filled with want. A want to lie beside you and hear your voice like that every morning. He quickly pushed those thoughts away, moving to stand.

“You bet your sweet little ass they are.” Dean watches as you shift to a sitting position, pushing the covers down to your lap and rub your eyes with the heel of your hand. You give Cas a lopsided smile before making grabby hands at the bag Dean’s holding. Sam sets a cup on the nightstand before sitting down beside you then digging into his own bag.

“Hi, Cas.”

“Hello, Y/N.”

“I see I got the warding right this time. It didn’t cause you any problems?”

“None whatsoever.”

“Good. Now, Dean, hand over the tacos.”

“This bag is all yours, princess.” He drops the bag into your lap before taking a chair from the table and flipping it around to straddle.

“You read the articles?” Sam manages around a mouthful of burrito and you get out a nod, shoving most of a street taco into your mouth as Sam’s lips twitch. “When was the last time you ate?”

“Uh...Donna made me some waffles before I left her house. Then I went to the motel and slept for a couple hours before I started heading here. Ooh! And I had about half a bag of jerky when I stopped just before the Ohio state line.”

“Told ya,” Dean told Sam. “That’s why I got fifteen of those little tacos. Dude looked at me like I was crazy.”

“You kinda are, Dean.” You shifted a little, gesturing to the other bed. “Sit, Cas. Please.” He nods and resumes his seat. You swallow down the fourth - or fifth? Sixth? - taco and unwrap another from its tinfoil prison. “Yeah, I read the articles. Well, two. The last one wouldn’t load all the way. I just assumed I was in a dead spot and you’d fill in whatever was missing. But the basics, of all three articles, are that suddenly people are seeing a headless horseman. Who chases them through the glen and to the bridge. Then disappears.”

“Yep.”

“It’s not possible.” You tell Dean with a heavy sigh, taking a big bite before softly groaning. This would have to be your last taco. For now.

“Y/N, we deal with impossible things all the time. I’m pretty damn sure it’s possible.”

“No, it’s not possible, Dean. Ichabod got rid of the Hessian spirit.”

“That’s a story.”

“You’ll be a story one day. Look, the reason you called me was that every hunter I’ve met and worked with knows how I am about Sleepy Hollow. When I tell you it isn’t possible, it isn’t possible.” You carefully wrap up what’s left of your wonderful taco bounty and push the covers away, moving to the small motel fridge.

Dean smirks when he sees Cas’s eyes go wide at seeing you aren’t wearing pants. And that sleep shirt may be four sizes too wide for you, but it’s not that long. They can all see gray and purple striped bikini-style underwear perfectly. You move from the fridge to your duffle, with a pair of dark sapphire eyes glued to your ass, squatting down to rummage through until you found the college notebook you always kept with you. You return to the bed, shuffling the covers haphazardly over your bare legs.

“Washington did take a lot of things from real life. The names of his main characters, the locations, and the old European stories of headless riders â€“ like the Wild Hunt, The Wild Huntsman, etc. Ichabod Crane was an army captain. Only he wasn’t.”

“I thought he was a schoolteacher.”

“In the story, he is. But apparently, we’ve been bullshitting since we came to this country because Ichabod wasn’t an army captain, he was a Hunter. It took me nearly fifteen years to track down just where his actual resting place was,” You flip the notebook open nearly halfway before handing it to Sam. “And when I did track down a headstone, that’s all it was. He was cremated.”

“Lots of people are cremated,” Dean argues.

“Lots of headstones have the Aquarian Star carved into the stone?” You smirk at the eldest Winchester. “Didn’t think so.” You rise and return to your duffle again, tugging on a pair of clean skinny jeans. “It makes sense. An American hunter who is involved not only in the war for independence but trying to follow any orders he might have gotten from the Men of Letters regarding monsters. Not that they’d be terribly helpful since we were trying to cut ties with them - But he meets a writer who likes his name - enough to use it for his most famous tale. Washington Irving made Ichabod superstitious...but what if that was something he noticed in the captain? What if he saw the Aquarian Star or a Devil’s Trap and decided that was a great basis for his story?” You sit at the end of your bed, face to face with Dean. “Dean - this, this place - I’ve been dreaming about it since I was little. Not like other girls dreamed of being Disney princesses, though I did that too. But I can hear it. The leaves shaking in the breeze, the even breaths of the old horse and the soft hoofbeats on the old trail.” Dean is searching your face, trying to find the lie. “I know Ichabod crossed that bridge. I know he had something of the horseman’s. And once he was safely across, he burned it, getting rid of the spirit.” You sigh, letting your head fall into your waiting hands, tugging softly at your hair trying to clear out all the thoughts and sounds.

“I’ve asked you before if you were psychic. And you said no.”

“It’s not that. It’s more like a memory. Like I was there or close by.”

“Could you recognize it?” Sam speaks up from behind you, leaning forward enough that a few pieces of hair swing towards his eyes.

“I’ve been all over the area, searching for the place I saw. I’ve never found it.” You shrug, taking your bottom lip between your teeth.”I’ve got a map in my notebook, I always start at the bridge and wander from there... but I don’t know anymore.”

“Time changes how things look. I could alter how you would see the woods, how it would have appeared around Ichabod’s time.” Cas offers, standing and shifting minutely as her gaze settled on him.

“Really? That would be amazing Castiel!” You toss yourself at Cas, wrapping your arms around him tightly. His hands hesitate before patting your back a few times, silently memorizing every detail of this encounter. You pull away with a giant grin. “Let me grab my shoes and socks and we can head out, okay?” Castiel nodded at her words, his eyes darting to Dean who was sporting a knowing, wide grin. Cas narrowed his eyes at Dean as Sam handed the notebook back, heading between Dean and Cas to their room for his jacket, his own small smile at Cas and your exchange tugging at his lips.

“Ready?” You ask breathlessly, eagerness flowing from you, hurriedly pulling on your cotton-lined, dark blue faux leather jacket and sliding the room key into the inner pocket before zipping it up.

“I am always ready,” Castiel answers with a small smile, moving to hold the door open as the Winchesters come back through her room and follow behind her, still sporting those stupid smiles.

---

In the dark, nothing looked familiar. Not even with Cas’s long fingers wrapped around your wrist, altering your view of the autumn trees and the black path ahead.

Dean made the decision about forty minutes in that it’d be better to come back in the morning, after a visit to the police in Fed gear to get more information and a few hours’ sleep.

Sam and Dean began heading back to the Impala, talking softly while you hung back, Cas’s hand still warm on your wrist. The contact had your face flushing, happy it was dark enough to cover the way your gaze couldn’t settle on just one thing.

“I am sorry we could not discern anything more. Hopefully, tomorrow will bring more luck.”

“It’s okay Cas. At this point, I’m pretty used to disappointment when it comes to this.” You wave your free hand for emphasis at the surrounding trees. “Why do you think I remem -” You froze, hearing a breeze whip up as the leaves shudder around the pair of you, hoofbeats sounding off in the distance. Sam could be seen at the head of the path.

“You guys coming?!” You can see the shiny black paint of the car just behind him as you turn back to Cas, his fingers digging into your wrist as he tugged you behind him, the hoofbeats getting louder. “Dean! Gun it!” You hear Sam shout before Cas turns slightly, keeping his gaze trained further up the trail.

“Get to the car.” His order is firm, his Angel blade slipping from his coat sleeve, the silver metal shining in the faint moonlight. Your hands grasp his biceps through his trench coat, pressing yourself against his back as dirt flies around your lower body - Dean whipping Baby into the tight space just behind you.

That’s when he appeared.

Astride a huge black horse, it’s rider seemingly looking down upon you - even with his lack of head - as the orange and red leaves of autumn settled around the hooves of his steed.

The chill that ran down your spine was a mix of anticipation, nervousness, and the quick seeping cold of the fall night.

The rider let loose a deep chuckle, pulling up the dark red bag that hung loosely from his pommel as you feel big hands on your arms, tugging you from your place behind Cas. It just made you cling tighter to the angel, staring just past him.

And anger welled within you from so deep, you couldn’t even fathom where this burst came from. It was just suddenly there, as large and tangible as the rider.

Poor Cas didn’t even have time to react when you shoved him into Sam, running towards the horseman as rage flowed through your veins.

By the time Cas popped over to you, Dean and Sam hot on his feathery heels, you had yanked the rider from his horse and straddled his torso. The first cries from the man beneath you have Cas withdrawing his hands from your upper arms, peering curiously down at the being.

“Please! I just wanted to have some fun! Please ma’am! I’m only twenty-four!”

“You little motherfucker!!” You grunt, yanking the large black hood that blocked his head from view before dealing him a vicious right hook. “You little shit! Do you know what I’ve -- ma’am?!”

“Okay, that’s enough of that.” Dean snaps out as Cas hauls you off the guy. “Ya know, the lady that just handed your ass to you just drove nearly fifteen hours to get here. All because you were playing a prank.” Dean licks his lips, smirking down at the kid. “I should let her wail on you some more...”

“I swear I won’t do it again, sir! I’ll never pull another prank again! I swear! I swear!” The poor dumbass is nearly in tears by the end and you’re so zoned out by the sudden loss of your rage you can’t manage anything but feeling.

And Lord - what you’re currently feeling is the stuff of dreams.

Cas’s chest is pressed against your back, his arm still wound tightly around your middle as his heat warms you. All of him is lean, strong, warm and a particular part is hard. If you’d been in your right mind, you would have told yourself that it was just adrenaline or some other excuse, but in this mindset, where you were so beyond anger, you couldn’t give two shits. You lean against him, letting your head loll back to rest against his shoulder, taking in his ozone and rain scent as your eyes flutter closed. He tenses beneath you for a millisecond before his fingers tighten, holding you close.

---

The ride back to the motel is quiet. Dean tries to make a few lighthearted jokes, but you can’t stop thinking back to being in Cas’s embrace. Hell, he had to maneuver you into the Impala after the Winchesters had threatened the bastard who was running around scaring the locals and you’d followed them back to the car with the angel’s gentle grip on your elbow.

Lord, this was a mess. You were a mess. First falling for the angel and now loosing yourself in this feeling after the blunder that you’d been waiting your whole life for. For the thing you’d always been trying to track down.

Maybe you were crazy.

That seemed the most likely outcome.

You sigh heavily, looking at the orange, yellow and red-brown leaves that still clung resolutely to the trees in yellow streetlights of town, watching as they sway slightly in the light breeze of the night.

A warm, large hand covers your own, drawing your gaze to the man beside you - more importantly, it’s drawing you from your thoughts to just focus on him.

You’d known Cas for the last two years and had been almost immediately (and embarrassedly) smitten. Those navy eyes had drawn you in, but his naturally sweet and loving demeanor had sealed your fate. How life had screwed him over multiple times, how he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, and how he longed for Heaven and for absolution. A year ago, was when you had finally admitted you were in love with the former garrison captain, the night he had shoved his hand into a werewolf’s chest with a snarl of “No!” stopping the wolf from shoving his claws any farther into your thigh.

Are you alright?

“Humm?” Oh. Yeah. I, uh, I’m alright. A little disappointed, but that’s nothing new regarding this.

You are thinking again.

I’m usually overthinking things, Cas. You drop your gaze to your lap, then glance back out the window, fingers tangling with Castiel’s.

It is a trait that makes you a very good hunter.

And a mess of a human.

A beautiful human. Your eyes go wide, snapping your head back to face Cas.

“You two lovebirds coming?” Dean teases as he put the car in park, throwing his arm over the back and winking at the two of you.

“In a minute,” Cas answers, allowing Dean and Sam ample time to exit before turning to you, his sapphire eyes locked at our entwined hands.

“Y/N.” You stare at his handsome face peering down, his hand clenching and loosening around your own. “So delicate.” You scoff, his eyes looking at you from under his lashes. “So beautiful.”

“Castiel.”

“I love how you say my name.” He confesses in a deep rumble, unable to keep the words from tumbling from his lips. “How soft you say it, like a breeze that flits softly through the leaves. Or how gently you pray it, even in your mind. Or how you’ll send images. Of a cup of hot chocolate when you want me beside you. Of the fall leaves basked in the bright moonlight when you switch to thinking about Sleepy Hollow. Sometimes you send them without thinking. Of the two of us sitting on a blanket by the bridge, where you remember throwing red leaves into the river below when you were five or six with your mom, sipping coffee in the early afternoon when there isn’t any traffic, just past any passerby’s line of sight.” His free hand comes up to cup your face. “I’d never pry into your mind. But I enjoy those moments when your mind wanders to me.” His face eases closer as your heart begins to race. “Gives me hope.” His breath fans over your face. “Am I right to have hope?”

“So right.” You mumble before you press your lips against his, sliding closer. Feeling his lips move against yours, pressing more eagerly before you pull away for air. The blue of his eyes is slowly being swallowed by black as his pupils dilate and your chest heaves. Your hands fist eagerly in his trench coat as you press your lips against his, your tongue teasing against the seam of his lips. Cas lets the hand by your jawline drop, wrapping it tightly around you, pressing you two chest to chest as his mouth moves eagerly against yours. The squeak you made when he hauled you upright turns into a sigh as his tongue runs along the seam of your mouth, wrapping your legs around his waist as you open to him.

Your pushing at his trench coat and suit coat, hungry for the angel.

“Dean.” His deep voice pants out.

“Uh, nope. That’s not my name.”

“I’m aware. I meant to say that Dean will certainly attempt bodily harm to us if we go any further in his car.”

“I think if Dean can have sex with an angel in his car, so can I.” You lean forward, capturing his lips again, cutting him off from any further arguments. He responded just as eagerly, finally releasing your joined hands and dragging your lower body closer to his own, shifting you until you were nearly lying on the bench seat.

“Off.” You mutter against his lips, pulling away for air as his lips kiss down your throat, the roughness of his stubble feeling soooo good against the sensitive skin. Cas shrugs out of his jackets before he settles atop you, his hand is pushing your shirt up, those warm, long fingers brushing over your hip then your stomach skimming higher as his lips return to yours briefly.

“So beautiful. My beautiful huntress.” You whine as he finally squeezes your left breast, his fingers brushing over your nipple. “I love you, Y/N. Your eyes, your soul,” He lets out a little grunt as he ruts his hips against yours, “all of you is wondrous and amazing.” You stop, your hands releasing the shirt you’d been unbuttoning to cup his face as those sapphire eyes stare down at you. The emotions swirling in those fathomless depths sent a thrill through you.

“I love you, Castiel.” As soon as you finish saying his name, his lips are pressed firmly against yours, his hands roaming everywhere suddenly - as if your confession had unleashed something within the angel. You chuckle slightly as you break apart, forgoing dealing with his shirt anymore and going straight for his belt buckle.

“WHOA!” A loud banging sounds on the roof, startling you, making you hide your face in Cas’s shoulder. “Not in Baby!!”

“You said I am a Winchester. All of you have had sex in this car.” You cough to cover up your laugh at what Cas snarked out to Dean.

“No. NO. NO!” Dean calls out loudly, bending down to peer into the car. “Sorry. Not gonna happen, Cas.”

“Fine.” He grits out before snapping his fingers. A soft mattress is at your back, and Cas’s weight comfortably pressing into you.

“Where were we?” You ask, nipping at his bottom lip while your hands undo his fly, fingertips sliding into the back of his pants, under his boxers, your hands digging firmly into his ass. You gasp as he rolls his hips just after.

“Need you now. Waited so long.”

“Fuck. Yes. Yes, Cas. Slow can wait until next time.” He gives a short nod, snapping to remove both your clothes. You couldn’t even bring yourself to feel embarrassed by your miles of stretch marks and the twenty extra pounds you were carrying. This tall, tan, beautiful and eternal being is looking down at you like you are the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

Cas kisses you softly, using his thigh to push your legs wider before settling between them. You kiss at his neck, sucking on the pulse point hard before nipping at his Adam’s apple, loving the groan you pull from him. Cas braces his arms beside your shoulders as you reach down between your bodies, guiding him to your core. You tease yourself first, rubbing his tip through your damp folds and tossing your head back with a moan as his grace appears, vibrating against your breasts - pulling, sucking and buzzing over every inch of skin - before slipping down to your clit. Cas moves forward in your hand before reaching down to bat your hand away, notching himself at your entrance before slowly sinking in.

”Oh.” You gasp out, revealing in the feeling of him stretching you. “Oh, fuck. Cas, Cas, I need you to move. Please.” He starts with shallow thrusts, letting you adjust while his mouth maps out your neck with open-mouthed kisses and a few hard bites. “Yes, angel.” You whimper out, digging your nails into his back, causing him to thrust harder.

“Do that again. Please.” Thank God, he sounds as wrecked as you. You obliged, digging your nails more into his back, closer to his spine now, causing him to buck up into you as you whisper “Angel” over and over again.

You tense then, your eyes glued to the air just past Cas’s shoulder. He freezes, looking over his shoulder.

“What?” You reach forward, still clinging to your angel, your fingers meeting soft, semi-opaque black feathers. You can mostly see through his wings, turning to glance at Castiel who is staring at you with wide cobalt eyes. “You can see my wings?” His deep voice is just above a whisper. A nod is all you can manage. “Have you ever seen them before?” You shake your head, his head dropping to your shoulder as you run your hand firmer against his wings causing Cas to thrust into you again, burying himself deeper in you. “Mine,” Cas growled, resuming thrusting against you. “Knew you were special.” He’s panting the words against your neck as he picks up speed, nearly shoving you up the bed as he lets himself go. “My human.”

“Yes, Castiel. All yours.” It takes a handful of seconds for you to reply, that warmth blossoming in your belly as his grace keeps buzzing over every sensitive spot on your skin, making it hard to remember the English language. “Angel.” You reply, one hand tugging at his dark locks to bring his mouth to yours, hungry to feel those chapped lips so eager against yours. You dissolve into whimpers and pants as he brings you closer to the edge, the motel bed creaking and hitting the wall as he grabbed your thigh, lifting your leg around his waist. “Fuuuuuck,” tears itself from your throat, your hand tightening in his hair as the other dug your nails into the smooth, warm juncture where his wings joined against his back. He snarled against your throat, moving to claim your mouth once more.

“Jesus!” You hear through the wall as a few loud knocks sound against it before a door slams loudly. Cas ignores Dean’s outburst, digging his knees into the mattress to get more leverage as you tightened around him.

“So perfect. So tight. Squeezing around me so good, Y/N.” How he can even string together more than obscenities and your name is beyond you at this point, leaning up to return the favor of marking his neck as you cling harder to Cas, so close to the edge.

“Cas.” You whine, clenching hard around your angel as your vision whites out. “CASTIEL!” He manages a half-dozen sloppy thrusts before he’s coming, chanting your name like a prayer, and his thrusts slowing, riding out both your orgasms.

“I,” He swallows audibly by your ear, pressing a few errant kisses against your throat and jaw. “I love you. Thank you.” He pushes a few pieces of hair away from your sweaty forehead, peering down at you with such affection it makes your chest tight.

“I love you too, Castiel. And, uh, thank you too.” He chuckles at the awkwardness as he moves to kiss you properly, easing out of you before nuzzling against your throat.

“I know this is not in the usual order of things,” Cas begins, snapping to clean away the mess before lying on his back, letting you curl up against him and tightening his arm around you. “But could we, uh, perhaps, maybe -”

“Get coffee?”

“Yes. And perhaps dinner?” You chuckle, tracing random patterns on his chest.

“Cas, you don’t eat.” You prop yourself up on your elbow, smiling down at him. He opened his mouth to answer before your lips press firmly against his in a quick kiss. “Coffee is great. Cuddling and maybe another round or two later?”

“I am very much in agreement with that,” Cas mutters, pulling you down into a deeper kiss. “After you get some sleep, beloved.” You ease back down, head on his chest and curling against him you hum in agreement. You drift off to sleep as Cas strokes his fingers through your hair.

---

“Beloved.” A soft kiss is pressed against your shoulder before a light nip. “I have something planned for us this morning,” Cas mumbles against your skin, his fingers digging into your side lightly.

“Mmmm.” You reply, pressing your face harder into the pillow.

“I have started the shower for you.” His presses a few more kisses down your neck and shoulder. “But you must rise.” You shuffle and wiggle until you are facing Cas, trying to pry your unwilling eyes open some more.

“Are you a morning person? Cause if we’re gonna date, that’s gotta stop. I’m only bringing this up because, while rounds two and three were very, very amazing, I really wanna sleep in, Cas.”

“Thank you for commenting on my sexual prowess. And it is nearly ten thirty in the morning. I believe I have let you sleep in sufficiently.”

“Oh.” You pause, pursing your lips in thought. “Alright. Okay.” You push yourself into a sitting position, holding the sheet to your chest. “You win.” A yawn escapes as you ease away from your lover. You lean down, grabbing his trench coat off the floor for the quick jaunt to the bathroom.

A deep growl emanates from his chest as he presses you against the wall.

“You look very sexy in my coat.”

You chuckle, pressing a few kisses along his jawline, working your way to his lips.

“I think you’re insatiable.” You murmur as his hand runs through your hair, piercing you with those galaxy-riddled blue eyes.

“When it comes to you, yes.” Cas purrs before kissing you hard. “The shower will get cold. Go bathe.”

You do as he asks, exiting from the shower a handful of minutes later, teeth brushed and mostly awake.

Cas is dressed and waiting at the door, an eager smile tugging at his lips.

“Ready?” He asks as you approach, rolling your neck before smiling kindly at him.

“Yeah.” You lean up to brush your lips against his in a barely there kiss, letting him pull you tight against his body as you disappear from the motel room.

---

The sun is a lot brighter than you expect, yellow and orange leaves dancing around your feet as you take in your surroundings.

You’re by the covered bridge, on the “safe” side - the side that once you’re on, the Hessian ghost is through and his powers end - with a large plaid blanket spread out a few feet further down the embankment, just out of sight of any potential passerby.

“I wanted to make your vision, the one that always makes me happiest to see, a reality.” He presses a kiss to the side of your head then leads you forward, letting you drop down to the blanket and get situated before joining you. He elects to sit behind you, letting your back rest against his chest as he hands you a large to go cup.

“Does this also count as our coffee date?”

“Yes. I would like to believe it does.” You turn your head to look up at Cas, your head right by his shoulder as he looks down at you with a bright, white smile. His eyes dart over to the cup and you wrinkle your nose slightly, raising your head to look at the white cup.

My Mate, Y/N Is scrawled is Castiel’s handwriting, and you tear up.

“I, I didn’t mean to make you cry.” You turn halfway, planting your hand on his chest and sniffling.

“Good tears, honey. Good tears.” He relaxes under your hand, reaching up to cup your face and bring you in for a deep kiss. “Also, I’ve read enough lore in the Batcave to know seeing your wings without my eyeballs frying is a pretty,” You peck his lips. “Big.” Another kiss. “Deal.” Another. “Feathers.”

“And you're - you are okay with this?”

“Yeah.” You settle against his chest again, sipping your rich hot chocolate with a sigh. “Are you okay with this?”

“Far more than okay. I am glad you’re my mate. I believe ecstatic is the word - it is the word Sam used this morning to describe my demeanor.” A small breeze ruffles your hair, his words soft right by your ear, but you can hear the smile in his voice.

“How’d, uh, how’d that meeting go this morning?”

“Dean mentioned considering silencing sigils. I told him we have all had to endure hearing his lovemaking through the walls of various establishments but that it would not happen again. Sam laughed and Dean shut up.”

“Nice.” You snicker out, turning your head to press a quick kiss to his jaw before you turn back, watching as handfuls of leaves flow down the little river below where you two sat. “This is beyond perfect. Thank you, Castiel.” You take a deep breath, loving the scent of earth, of the slight decay of leaves and the warm scent of the angel you were in love with surrounding you. “I should send that kid a gift basket.”

“For punching him?”

“For getting us together. Oh, and can you remind me to order some caramels from that place in Wyoming? I owe Donna.”

#ash loves fall #fall in love with fall challenge #d-s-winchester #castiel x reader smut #castiel x reader #dean winchester #sam winchester #slight sleepy hollow #supernatural reader insert #supernatural fanfiction #cas x reader #cas x reader smut #this is my first smut dudes #authoressskr writes

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tube-thoughts-blog · 7 years ago

Text

Vol. 11

Zero stars - terrible, 1/2 a star - dull, 1 star - folly, 1 1/2 stars - lacking, 2 stars - fair, 2 1/2 stars - decent, 3 stars - terrific

"Groove On Fight" --Sega Saturn-- (Atlus) -1997- *Imagine a Japanese pretty boy version of Christopher Walken with a neo biker / leather cowboy fetish. Now imagine an entire, -wealthy & powerful- "Game of Thrones style" inbred family of them all with some peculiar fetish. They fight it out for control of the family. The matriarchy of the family is two grannies tied back to back like Siamese bondage twins. One fight takes place on the back of an American type bomber plane up above the clouds. That last sentence pretty much speaks to the disturbed nature of a lot of Japanese art after World War 2.* close to 3 stars

Godfrey Ho's "Ninja Commandments" (1987) *Who knew that honky moral issues like pre-marital sex were such problems for Ninjas, or that they liked to party with skanky groupies, and that pretty much all ninjas are not-so-secretly middle age white men.* between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

Red Letter Media: Best of the Worst --------

*Deadly Prey: Ice T's "The Game"(?), a movie where a guy gets kidnapped by army dudes and hunted for sport only to fight back, this time with a hero who's a Patrick Swayze type bohunk Rambo.* 2 1/2 stars

*Hard Ticket To Hawaii: Skinemax classic about blonde bimbos trying to stop criminal smuggling in an exotic locale. Also, killer, "infectious," cancer-ridden, huge snake.* 2 1/2 stars

*Miami Connection: Lost & found gem of a movie with nearly as many awkwardly awesome moments as Tommy Wiseau's "The Room."* 3 stars

Red Letter agrees that Miami Connection is "The Best of the Worst."

---------------------------------

"Red Earth" aka "Warzard" (Capcom) *A wizard summons up a bunch of kaiju monsters, in scattered epic sites, that only a big lion-man and several other heroes can vanquish from the earth. Typical wizard being a total dickhead, to the rest of magic-impaired mankind, behavior.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Bushido Blade 2" (Playstation 1) *Bloodthirsty Japanese clans have kept up the honor of warring over territory for power for centuries up into modern times, in this game. It's a nice mixture of both old and new worlds, and the music and dialogue is well done, and even the setting and characters (though limited by the blocky polygon look of early 3D). It keeps with "realism" too with one good killing stroke, with a warrior's sword, doing the job. It even has thrills like bikini girls with machine guns.* 2 1/2 stars

"The Kurosagi Corpse Delivery Service Vol. 4" (Dark Horse Manga) *Morbid and eccentric tales of a group of Buddhist college students with unique gifts of communicating with corpses littered in strange locations around Japan. They help fill the odd requests of these bodies to be put at peace usually in some morbid way or involving some morbid mystery. Instead of trash "reality" entertainment like Long Island Medium, this much better "talking with the deceased" fiction should be turned into tv entertainment for western audiences. It's so much more interesting and entertaining.* 3 stars

"Savage Reign" (SNK) *This is the Kris Kross of fighters. Kriss Kross being a pair of 12 year old rappers whose record company realized their talent was lacking so they came up with the bright idea to have the duo dress with their clothes backwards. The gimmicks in Savage Reign are plenty. There's a clown who fights with roller skates. A valley-girl swinging around a pink bowling ball. His name is Joker, and she looks like a cleaned up Harley Quinn, come to think of it now. A Vanilla Ice look-a-like sports a Captain America' Canadian tuxedo of denim and stars and stripes. The Ryu style hero, of the game, fights without fireballs but instead a silly boomerang. The big boss is a fancier "cock of the walk" Shao Kahn throwing his punches with fists covered in boxing gloves. Sickly serene backgrounds include a generic Disneyland theme park and an underground cow milking gang hideout that is almost as weird as something out of "Naked Lunch."* 2 stars

The Spoony Experiment: Clones of Bruce Lee *When Bruce Lee tragically died during the height of his career, movie producing jerks didn't let it stop them from abusing his legacy. Tons of Bruce Lee impersonators popped up and a sub-genre of exploitation movies was born. They were called Brucesploitation flicks. In this one, it's about as shameless as it gets with a plot about cloning Bruce Lee before his body has even grown cold and using the clones for nefarious purposes.* close to 2 stars for the sleazy, cheesy movie and 3 stars for Spoony's review

"Fight For Life" (The Last Official Atari Jaguar Game) --1996-- *Show a kid, today, an Atari 2600 game and they'll think you're giving them something like an ink blot test. Having witnessed an Atari 2600 game, back in the day, it felt like I was standing on the edge of the digital future. The Atari Jaguar promised that brave, new, digital future with their doomed Jaguar gaming machine. I remember the first time I saw Sega's Virtua Fighter in an arcade. I did get that "tomorrow feeling." I couldn't wait to take these blocky 3D characters and make them my sandbox toys tossing them around with their ragdoll physics. It was mind blowing. Atari's Fight For Life wanted to be like Virtua Fighter, only it comes off more like a 2600 ink blot test for the imagination, and really painful to the senses. Man, is it ugly and clunky. It's definitely not "epic," but I can compare it to something else that is "epic." The Faith No More "Epic" music video where the fish out of water is flopping its death throes. It's more like that fish than a jaguar.* between 1 and 1 1/2 stars

The Cinema Snob: Karate Girl *Rape revenge exploitation "thriller" circa 1970s about a mute girl from a Turkish village. The kind of movie that Tarantino would rip off elements from and be called a genius later. Also featuring an infamous over-the-top death scene that's become an internet meme.* close to 2 stars for the movie & close to 3 stars for the review

"The Blonde Fury" (1989) *Cynthia Rothrock is the greatest female action star. It had to be said, because it's true. This is a Hong Kong action flick about crazy counterfeiters and quirky investigators. The English dubbing is extra entertaining and the comedy is quite clever.* 3 stars

Black Sails: Season 1 Episode 5 *Finally, a bloody battle, at sea, to go along with the pirate base politics and prostitute abuse.* 3 stars

Hot Package: Pilot (Adult Swim) --2013-- *Spoof of insipid celebrity obsessed shows like E!NEWS and Entertainment Tonight, but with a weird EverythingIsTerrible style obscure internet clip twist. Featuring "hot phone sex" Pat from Access Hollywood and produced by Tim & Eric from Adult Swim.* close to 2 1/2 stars

"Slap Happy Rhythm Busters" (Playstation One) *Filled with quirky characters who use supermoves similar to a Marvel Versus series game & graphics as brightly colored as 'Viewtiful Joe' 'Katamari Damacy' & 'Legend of Zelda Windwaker', Slap Happy will slap you silly with enjoyment.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Slaughter Sport" aka "Tongue of the Fatman" (Razorsoft) Sega Genesis 1991 *Another barbaric battle of death, in a palace pit, hosted by a Jabba the Hutt style freak boss who also looks like a shirtless Eric Cartman, in his underwear, with a hideous face and tongue on his fat rolls of a belly. Tech-abominations like a cybernetic chicken, fierce sex slave warrior chicks, gassy gargoyles, spider-women, bad boy white rappers, and other mutated freaks of the wasteland compete for the hunger and amusement of Mondu, the fatman. His pet sand-shark finishes off the losers.* running from close to 2 stars down to 1 star

"Godzilla, Destroy All Monsters: Melee" (x-Box) *This has almost everything a fan of kaiju destruction could want. Just about every Tokyo stomping monster is in it, and playable. Only thing missing is frightened citizens running about pointing at "Gojira." Plus, I think the voices over the airwaves should sound Asian. Points for the quirky bits like a UFO hovering over attacking and Mothra getting in on the action.* close to 3 stars

"Rakuga Kids" *Some brats battle their stuffed animals around their playrooms and neighborhood that look like they're out of a pop-up storybook. It's sort of Street Fighter 2 meets Toy Story 2. Animated similar to Rugrats and Adult Swim's Home Movies.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Dragoon Might" -Arcade- (Konami) --1995-- *The fancy presentation of this game reminds me of 2009's 3D spectacle, Avatar. It makes me wanna reach out and pick a low hanging piece of pretty fruit and bite into it. Yet, there's a pit. The artistry and poetry looks at times like it's coming from a Crouching Tiger, but hidden in the bushes, ready to pounce, is a shirtless guy in torn jeans and brandishing a butcher knife. It's just goodtime trash stealing your quarters.* 2 1/2 stars

"Kaiser Knucle" (Arcade) *This is the Vanilla Ice "Cool As Ice" of Street Fighter 2 rip offs. You can play as Fred Flinstone's daughter or "Barts" Yes with an S (teen biker Bart Simpson?) & Ryu w/ flowing mullet, or even "Boggy" who is a MC Hammer wannabe. "Don't hurt 'em!"* 2 stars

Nostalgia Critic: Rise of the Commercials *A look back on when silly advertising really RULED! "Don't put it in your mouth." That is unless it's been properly branded by corporate America and parent approved.* 3 stars

Double Dare: Super Sloppiest Moments *Kids, and their mostly whitebread families, get covered in green slime.* 2 1/2 stars

Jack & Triumph: Commercial *It starts off funny with making fun of Dennis Leary for stealing Bill Hicks' comedy act. Then it gets typical with the whole Alan Thicke showing up and we're supposed to accept that he's now "ironically funny" because he's a square former celebrity acting in an offensive way that we never saw on his old tv show. That's the same kind of lame shit that media is always trying to do in a hipster way with all these former celebrities from the 70s, 80s, or 90s. Robert Smigel can do so much better, see TV Funhouse for example.* close to 2 1/2 stars

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Master Ninja 1 *Lee Van Cleef makes a convincing wild west badass. Surrounded by 70s style slacker dude in a muscle van, mousey & young Demi Moore, hicksploitation villains, and obvious kung fu stuntman doing his action work -Lee struggles to make a convincing martial arts badass.* 2 stars with riffing between 1 1/2 and 2 stars without riffing

"Project Justice" --Sega Dreamcast-- (Capcom) *I believe it was the 70s, that era of great television, that first introduced the novelty of students teaming up with a teacher in the classic "Welcome Back, Kotter." The 80s went further, with this, having society's school aged misfits solving problems of gangs of bullies terrorizing the halls of school or jerks who wanted to close down the local youth center and even the retro cheese staple of ski slope jerks challenging our youthful heroes to a race for control of the ski slope club's mountain. This game is similar, in nature, and has the extra benefit of featuring quirky Japanese style characters and aesthetics.* close to 3 stars

"Last Bronx" (Sega Model 2 Arcade) *Consumer electronics have always been trendy with yuppies. When home entertainment centers became hot, everybody had to have one. Digital watches were on every wrist. A Sony walkman around every neck and in every pocket. Still, there was always a stigma about technology, whenever it was new or in development. At the turn of the 21st century, few would have imagined people lining up around the streets to get each new Apple computer product. Same with gaming, it was a kids novelty, and didn't have the online social media culture that it enjoyed after their was a broadband connection and a Sony Playstation 2 in most every living room across the globe. In the 90s testing stage for high end electronics and gaming, Japan was the tech giant. This game says "Last Bronx" but it's more like "Neo Tokyo." It had to have been pretty revolutionary for the time, and yet it looks very much like some thing most of us western yuppies would turn away at.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Robocop, the series: Officer Missing *"Winter is coming".... Land of the Dead... The Purge.... A Christmas Carol (Well, maybe not that one), Robocop did it first.* close to 2 1/2 stars

The Gong Show with Dave Attell: Season 1 Episode 8 *This show yips off into the sunset (cancelled, deservingly, I'm guessing) like a balloon animal dog from the sphincter of a sword swallower. It was riding a flaming pogo stick. The straw that broke the camel's back was heavy metal cookie monster or large man in diaper strip tease.* 2 stars

Robert Crumb: Despair *"You may not think it's funny, but I've got a morbid sense of humor."* close to 3 stars

"Power Instinct: Matrimelee" (Atlus) --Neo Geo-- *The creepy family members, from "Groove On Fight," are back. This time they're fighting it out, on a televised American Idol type stage, Jerry Springer style. The prize is a hand in marriage. Given its pedigree, and Japanese setting, it's weird as fuck, yet very surprisingly charming.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Kill Or Be Killed" (1980) *Our villain: an escaped Nazi seeking vague revenge by hosting a "Enter the Dragon" type death tournament. Our hero: a mullet-headed, shirtless, karate badass in a tight pair of bell-bottom jeans. He's out to save his girlfriend from the Nazi. Our wildcard: a Game of Thrones type scheming dwarf helping out our karate hero. Our story: pure grindhouse chop sockey cinema.* close to 3 stars

"Rabbit" (Sega Saturn) *Presentation of this game is nice. It reminds me of the new HD Rayman games' colorful eye candy and whimsy joined together with a clever Cartoon Network cartoon like Regular Show or Adventure Time. The fighters each have a beast or spirit animal. It reminds me of sports fanatics and their team mascots. If so many animals weren't endangered, sports fans would be worse than an old school Ruskie with a dancing bear. There would be a stadium full of Eagles fans each with their own personal bald eagle to show off. Dolphins fans would have a kids swimming pool, in the living room beneath the big screen, sporting a live dolphin who they'd feed anchovies off of their pizza to. Another thing about these fighting games, why are all the people in the background so unaffected by the brawls? They're always nicely eating a bowl of noodles in an outdoor cafe or riding a bicycle with a monkey or.....* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Waku Waku 7" (Sunsoft) -1996- *While watching lemmings hop around musically, on this game, I had an epiphany. Fellas we are never gonna get around to building those war robots out of our spare lawnmower and washing machine parts. Ladies, our obese house cats aren't gonna magically start talking and giving us humorous life advice to share on social media. Don't fret, we'll always have the Japanese to create our crazy dreams. That is unless a giant, radiated salamander, with a taste for human sushi, crawls up on the sands of some south Pacific beach.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Streets of Rage 3" (SEGA) *It's a typical beat 'em up story. The evil Mr. X is controlling the city with his band of street punks. Our heroes: Dr. Zan (the bald fu-manchu sporting head of a martial arts sensei badass on top of a cyborg body riding around on rocket skates), this ninja chick in a short minskirt, a blonde Ken Masters look-a-like kung fu street fighter, and a token 90s black kid who loves basketball so much he won't put down his b'ball. They have to battle through wave after wave of mercs and pick up turkey dinner power ups.* 2 1/2 stars

Red Letter Media: Best of the Worst --------

Russian Terminator: *"that's what friends ARE! for" also an Anna Nicole look-a-like, a Kenny Rogers look-a-like, and a ninja.* 2 very awkward stars

Ninja Vengeance: *"Ninja" (a horrible one) John Tesh look-a-like on the run from the Klan in the backwoods of a hicksploitation town.* 1 1/2 stars

Never Too Young To Die: *Heart-throb John Stamos, sexy "Vanity" who's a Prince protege, and chick with a dick Gene Simmons is the rockstar who plays the over the top villain.* 2 stars

Red Letter Media ranks them best to worst as Russian T., Never Too Y., and Ninja V.*

---------------------------------

Freddy Krueger in "Mortal Kombat" (2011) *Freddy mocked the rising popularity of video games in "Freddy's Dead." Two decades later, he returns to the mockery. Released a couple years after the toothless remake, this tongueless appearance by Freddy is sorely missing Robert Englund's macabre wordplay.* 1 1/2 stars

Freddy's Nightmares: Identity Crisis ----

*Jeff Conaway, and the sheriff from Friday the 13th: Part 6, give this episode a level of Tales from the Crypt "star power." The story is the 'Family Ties' zeitgeist of the its time period. The spirit of the 60s (hippies) versus the spirit of the 80s (yuppies).* close to 3 stars

*Teenage pound puppies. Emo pound puppies.* 1 1/2 stars for most of the episode 2 1/2 stars for the Freddy dreamhouse sequences

---------------------------

Forensic Files: Postal Mortem *Radioshack enthusiast who's a 'Hercules Bullseye Bomber' and master forger of Mormon historical documents.* 2 1/2 stars

Wizards and Warriors: Skies of Death *Doomsday cannon on the cliffs of doom.* 3 stars

Attack On Titan: Episode 2 *Giving a new meaning to "in your face." A term that I don't care for, but here it comes to represent humongous, naked, grinning humans stomping up in one's personal space to chow down on that person like a corndog. The emotions of the kids, and the dread of the situation for them, keeps everything from getting too out of hand as a spectacle.* 3 stars

The Cinema Snob: The Pierre Kirby Saga *A more-than-competent action badass from a handful of less-than-competent Hong Kong action exploitation "movies."* 3 stars for Snob's retrospect and close to 2 stars for the "movies"

Look Around You: Iron *Point point zero point, ring the bell and the experiment can begin within the twinkling of an eye that is hidden behind a metal face shackle.* 2 1/2 stars

VH1 Classics --- Pop Up Video --- (The Big 80's) -------

a-ha - "Take On Me": Few Americans stuck around to notice that this internationally popular Swedish band lasted long after their early 1980s one hit wonder and only broke up after the 1994 Winter Olypics in which they were featured European band.* 3 plus stars for the pop ups and 3 classic MTV stars for the original video

Pat Benatar - Love is a Battlefield": 30 year old Pat portrayed a 16 year old runaway "too controversial for MTV prostitute" in this video.* 3 plus stars with pop ups and close to 3 stars MTV classic without

John Cougar - "Jack & Diane": One guy lived in a coma for 37 years. He wasn't doing a lot of handclapping and air drumming like Johnny Cougar was doing in this video.* 3 stars with pop ups between 2 1/2 and 3 stars without

Lionel Richie - "Hello": Lionel loves for all of his video vixens to have the same hairstyle as he does.* 3 stars with pop ups 2 1/2 stars, cheesy stars, without pop ups

Van Halen - "Hot For Teacher": This unruly music video caused the child stars to eventually become unruly like the real life Van Halen.* 3 plus stars with pop ups 3 sleazy stars without pop ups

--------------------------

Viper: Mind Games *A sleeper saboteur, a vixen viper, and a truckload of disease.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Twisted Tales #10 ----------------- (Bruce Jones, Bernie Wrightson, Bill Wray, Rick Geary)

Beer: A story of ribbing greenhorns up where the tree-line ends and the green turns to white snowy mountains, and there be yeti's who drive a hard bargain and a sled.* 3 stars

One For The Money: A cat-burglar gets caught and commits murder. He assumes a bear-suit disguise and flees to the woods where he gets gunned down by hunters.* 2 1/2 stars

Hatchet Job: Scientists go back and time and bumble trying to solve the Lizzie Borden murders. ha.* 2 1/2 stars

Two For The Show: A retelling of the earlier cat-burglar tale. This time the party guest kills the intruder, then takes the jewels for himself. Instead of getting shot by a pair of hunters, he gets mauled by a mother grizzly bear. The irony.* close to 3 stars

A haggard man buys a bed from a used store for his sick daughter to rest on her deathbed as she gets out of the hospital. That night, he's visited by the ghost of a girl haunting the bed that died in it, years earlier, in a torn down orphanage fire.* 3 stars, I guess...

Poison in the Pantry: A miserable and mistreated wife and stepmother puts rat poison in the family's soup. She dreams of even better days, from behind bars.* 3 stars

-------------------------------

Hill Street Blues: Life. Death. Eternity... *Etcetera.* 3 stars

X Files: Tooms *Skinner, the Smoking Man, and one of the best "monster" villains ever on the show.* 3 stars

Twitch City: I'm Fat and I'm Proud *Every episode of every tv show ever on tape. And almost everything else a slacker could ever want, for all seasons, except love? And the ability to exit comfortably into society.* 3 stars

Real Pulp Comics #1 *Perverse and humorous tales of skid row lowlifestyle in the babyboom generation's peak.* 2 1/2 stars

Max Headroom: Neurostim *Football, Fast-Food, Fantasy. counter-Fucking-revolutionary.* 3 stars

Farscape: Nerve *Infiltrating a Peacekeeper base, and meeting the Peacekeeper's Darth Vader (Scorpius).* 3 stars

Look Around You: Brain *"Pretty smart for something that looks like a common garden cauliflower."* close 3 stars

Forensic Files: Micro Clues *Tiny communities of freshwater creatures ring out truth and justice from the lungs of a drowned boy of a Swiss village.* 2 stars

Kingdom Hospital: Season 1 Episode 10 *Call the doctor, call the nurse, these guys (King and Lars) are goofy and getting worse.* either 1 star or close to 2 1/2 stars

---Animal Planet--- I Was Bitten: The Walker County Incident *"Animal Planet, surprisingly human." Unsurprisingly stupid. Far more entertaining than the usual (Finding Bigfoot) cryptozoology reality tv whore idiots. Points for the twist ending prank gotcha moment.* either 1 star or close to 2 1/2 stars

======= Trash TV ---- Seasons Finale ------ Marathon ===================

Forensic Files: Something's Fishy *The cyanide tainted Excederin pain reliever panic of the early 90s.* 2 1/2 stars

Forensic Files: Sealed With A Kiss *Psycho teacher stalks herself and then frames a rival faculty member.* close to 3 stars

Forensic Files: Deadly Parasites *Shit leaked into Lake Michigan contaminates the Milwaukee water supply and kills over a hundred people.* 2 1/2 stars

American Horror Story --- Murder House: Afterbirth *The "Murder House" is back on the market at a reduced prices. Also, ghosts can slit other ghosts' throats and they bleed ghost blood. Who knew? They even like to celebrate the season of giving (Christmas) with all the trimmings of the living.* either 1 star or 3 stars for a balls out finale

American Horror Story --- Asylum: Madness Ends *Lana Winters (the reporter from AHS: Asylum) is no Edison Carter (the reporter from Max Headroom). And so concludes this chapter of American Melodrama. Horror's end is supposed to be wrapped up in neat little bows of tenderness... EH? No? Ok.* 2 1/2 stars, I guess

American Horror Story --- Coven: Go To Hell *"I made you die those little deaths." Hell is a fried chicken shack. Ghosts need passports for travel. Who knew? Paula Deen isn't really sorry. She's just sorry that she was caught.* close to 3 stars

American Horror Story --- Coven: The Seven Wonders

*Welcome to the World Series of witchcraft. Let the Harry Potter games begin.

I especially got a chuckle out of the girls just wanna have fun teleportation game of tag that happened right after the hippie witch got stuck in her own personal "8th grade biology dissection of a frog" hell.

It would seem like black humor, but I think it's not meant to be. It's just poor writing.

Take for instance how the redheaded hag/nag says that the new supreme witch can't have a "Whitewater scandal" to be a blemish on her new leadership.

So, she demands to be burned alive in the most soap opera dramatic and laughable way possible to the Stevie Nicks music that's playing throughout the show (the show even begins like a Stevie Nicks music video. *rolls eyes*).

Since the new Coven is going public (kind of like a corporation joining the New York Stock exchange and opening all their books up, or whatever), one would think that committing an act of murder (the witch burning) might somehow leak out and be frowned upon eventually leading to scandal.

Anyway, that aside, "The Axe Man" and "Fiona" carry the show with their charisma and moody moments together, as usual.

We get another feel good ending, for some reason, because that's horror, according to the producers of this show and the Fox musical GLEE.

Why are these guys pretending to do horror?

I did appreciate Fiona's return from the dead, before dying again (Ha), reminding me of Interview With A Vampire's scene where Tom Cruise crawls out of the swamp after being gatorbait left for dead by his gloomy boyfriend and porcelain doll daughter.

Also, in closing, Fiona's version of hell was quite fitting and moody compared to the pretentious and childish versions of hell for all the other characters.

For example; the annoying good teenager chick's hell beat out the annoying bad teenager chick's hell for level of awfulness.

And that was an accomplishment.

The bad chick's hell was being stuck on a Hollywood musical that she didn't like. *Snot*

The good chick's hell was having her James Dean wannabe boyfriend breaking up with her every day. *Vomit*

I guess hell is happening here on earth for every emo 16 year old all the time.

I have already wasted too many words on most of this pile stinky fish guts.*

running from around 1 1/2 stars a lot of the time up to 2 1/2 stars at different moments

==========================================================================

"Sacred Cow Halloween Special" circa 1993 (All Hallow's Eve? Why not? It's June) *Early 1990s public access tv special featuring a lot of low-fi indie music videos from bands who don't give a shit and live call in guests to the hosts and Bill Hicks in hell. Plus the legend, Bill Hicks, pulls out the home video footage of where he stood in the neighboring cow pasture, and ranted about the government, while Janet Reno rolled tanks with flamethrowers through the walls of a crazy cult so that they could charbroil children. Yep, have a happy trick r' Summer treat and roast in the heat.* more than 2 1/2 stars

"Beyond Belief" =================================

*Early 90s Nickelodeon took time to educate kids, where modern Nick tries to sell them tweeny bopper pop star insipid kid sitcoms.

Stories here include:

The City of the Dead that lies beneath Paris.

History lesson about how the Greeks burned half the Roman, enemy, fleet using solar energized shields.

Sadly poetic tale of The Elephant Man and his time in a London hospital.

Important message about conservation and protecting endangered animals. "Don't cut down the rainforest." Man, I have fond memories of "earth friendly" science lessons during my childhood school years. A really hopeful, positive time.

We visit the Cabaret Mechanical Theater featuring robotic dolls & toys (creepy and cool).

Some funny laws, around the world, are discussed like the illegal carrying of ice cream cones in your pocket in Kentucky and so on.

Cursed opera causes God to smite anyone the opera singer looks at while singing, "Oh, God smash him!"

We meet a 17 year old autistic genius artist who can draw any London monument or building. Autism was still misunderstood, greatly, during this time.

A visit to an old magician's backyard where he displays to us a new, old trick.

Finally, it's a history lesson about Westerners reluctance at first and then being sold on the idea and practice of embalming the corpses of their loved ones for funeral display.

Great stuff.

-Classic commercials include:

Scram Ball, "the hot new game."

Bubble tape, the bubble gum that's hard for grandma to eat.

Murray mountain bikes are so rugged that they can help a 10 year old outrun his 16 year old bro's pickup truck on rocky terrain.

A Fresh Prince of Bel'Air kid is tired of being told "no" so he eats Raisin Bran for some reason....

A gang of 90s tv kids have a video cam corder scavenger hunt thanks to McDonalds.*

close to 3 stars

=======================================================

Police Squad: A Substantial Gift (WLS7-Chicago) 3 - 4 - 1982 =============

*First we get a commercial for a home electronics and appliance store. Man, the 70s and early 80s had such an ugly color decor thing going on. Putrid greens, tans, yellows, and dingy greys going on everything from fridges to stoves to dishwashers to carpet to vaccuumcleaners. Some nice pics of walls of the very popular, at the time, ghetto blaster boom boxes (nice).

"Blast From The Past," Saturday at 6:30 featuring a dapper dude brushing his wavy hair and a go go chick hula hooping. The 80s were really nostalgic for the 50s.

And, now with a flashing red siren we're told we'll be watching Police Squad "In Color." The show starts out with a woman who's being stuck for cash by a crooked orthodonist. Ha. She kills her loan clerk boyfriend and frames a poor sap trying to get the loan in a double homicide.

A hazy looking Loren cosmetics commercial

followed by a movie trailer for the insipid Oscar bait movie "On Golden Pond."

Leslie Nielsen shows up to the crime, knocking over trash cans with his cop car. Funny sight gag of the meat wagon boys taking out an extra, extra long body on an extra, extra long stretcher. They find a way to work in the old type "Who's on first!?" joke to her formal statement of the crime.

The forensic lab guy is a wacko.

A visit to the victim's wife, and Nielsen rambles on about himself (ha) during her grief.

The killer dame shows up to give her official statement looking like an obvious fink in a new fur coat and feathered boa.

We get a funny scene where one cop's so tall his head is off camera.

"Crisp and clean" "No Caffeine" "Never had it, never will." "Feelin' up with 7 'Up."

A pretty model girl walks around fields of amber grains waving while sporting a "Cover Girl Face."

Benson & Open All Night are part of the ABC Friday Night line up.

Lieutenant Nielsen re-enacts the crime by actually shoothing his fellow officers, leaving a pile of bodies while he ponders the crime. Ha.

Cops and Priests (What do you know about life after death? *hands over a 20$*) seek confidential information from a shoe shine man.

Medieval orthodontist gear is highlighted via willingly happy kids wearing headgear. Leslie does some dental exam physical comedy.

Some oblivious cops sight gags in an elevator. Clever stuff.

Showdown with the dirty dame featuring bad wigs and a bullet filled Mexican standoff from a couple feet away from each other behind trash cans and a sidewalk bus bench. Bullhorn "Give it up!" warning from just as close a length.

New Aim mint is the talk of the whiteboy locker room..

Sexy as heck, and wet in a pool, Lynda Carter likes her lips "wet." Mmmmmm

Stay Tuned for Bossom Budies and "Night of 100 Stars"

Old school, syndicated television. Can't beat it.*

3 stars

=========================================================================

MTV's Ridiculousness with special guest Dr. Drew Pinsky *Normally this poor kid's America's Funniest Home Videos for skateboard wiggers, hosted by a skateboard wigger & his black friend & his airheaded blonde friend, would get zero stars for its unfunny commentary on outdated extreme sports accident videos and mishap/ prank videos.... but since quack pop-psychiatry tv celebrity "doctor" Drew is on here and giving insight into the social problems many of these fools, in these foolish videos, do happen to supposedly have... Well, it's more absurd and tolerable.* close to 2 stars

"Five Fingers Of Death" *It's the formula tale of bullies terrorizing a town, and the heroes finally standing up to them. It could be a western, an 80s surfing/ski resort movie, but here it's a Shaw brothers kung fu flick. Many hipsters will recognize the Kill Bill music that Tarantino stole from this film.* 3 stars

Tom Green's Subway Monkey Hour --2002-- *Tom Green will probably always be infamous for the terrible "Freddy Got Fingered," and he deserves it. This hour long MTV special featuring Tom being the weirdest Westerner possibly ever in Japan is way better than that awful Hollywood mistake of a "movie." In fact, it's a dozen times more interesting than the Jackass movies that borrow the skit after skit format of this special. Add an extra thirty minutes of footage from this trip to Japan, which I'm sure they had, and it would have been a better choice to be released in movie theaters instead of "Freddy Got Fingered."* close to 3 stars

Tales From The Crypt: Lover Come Hack To Me *Car trouble on a desolate road on the honeymoon night. The couple seeks shelter in an old-dark-house. There's a cozy fireplace with a big, medieval axe hanging above it. A storm is raging outside. The bride is a strange, little virgin. The groom is a sleazy bohunk acting surprised to have found a 45 magnum in his glove box. She wonders if he married her for the money (no surprise, he did). Bloody memories haunt the place same as their "romance." It's the perfect setting for mur-der (*Thunder & Lightning!*)...* 3 stars

Six Feet Under: The Will *Diving board death. Pyramid scheme. Backstreet Boy look-a-like douchey boyfriend. Meeting of gay firemen. Breaking up with Ed Begley Jr. Blackmail from beyond the grave. Selling a slightly used coffin at a discount rate. Burning someone's name into your flesh. Buyout offer. Emotional breakdown on the bus that killed the father. Toe suck.* close to 3 stars

100 Bullets: The Counterfifth Detective (Vertigo Comics) *Piano bar without a piano player. A private dick wrapped up like the Invisible Man. Stolen art with codes from one's past. A damaging echo.* between 2 1/2 & 3 stars

Justified: Season 1 Episode 5 *The cowboy's pa is an outlaw.* 3 stars

American Gothic: Resurrector *Going away presents for a ghost and a sacrifice to the devil.* close to 3 stars

Kung Fu: Nine Lives *"Find a cat or be a tramp all your life." "Dark and vain are the ways of lust, the poet said." or something of that nature...* 3 stars

"Master of the Flying Guillotine" *A bloody martial arts tournament, where every fighter has a unique gimmick or style, is interrupted by a badass villain using his flying guillotine to pull the heads off of every one armed boxer that he finds until he gets his revenge. He finds out that he's not as badass as the real one armed boxer. This flick had to have had a huge influence on both Street Fighter 2 and Mortal Kombat.* 3 stars

Doctor Who: The Satan Pit *A claustrophobic, high stakes sci fi story similar to The Thing, Leviathan, and Alien.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Horror Express" (Christopher Lee & Peter Cushing) *It's about time, some cryptozoology monster goodness. Finding Bigfoot type nonsense has almost killed the fun in this fantasy genre. It helps that this movie is Hammer horror style and has Lovecraftian-dread overtones.* 3 stars

Gerhard's America: Gerhard at NASCAR *Gerhard finds he has a lot in common with effeminate racer Michael Waltrip.* close to 2 1/2 stars

------ TV Carnage:

*A Lot Of Men Collect Barbie Dolls: "It's a professional hobby, now." Nothing weird, at all here.* 2 stars

*A Woman's Guide To Guns and Hallucinating: Learn about your weapon, instead of fantasizing about it.* close to 2 stars

*Aids = Hump Day Poison!: The 80s were all about high risk behavior.* close to 2 1/2 stars

*Child Actor Failures: Are you being rigid enough or in some cases too rigid with your little gold-mine?* close to 3 stars

*Damn Shame: It's a shame that white boy thugs get gunned down every day. Call America's Most Wanted or Yo! MTV Raps with any info on the possible killer.* 2 1/2 stars

---------------------------------------

Monstervision with Joe Bob Briggs: Big Trouble In Little China

*Joe Bob pokes fun at the culture of addiction.

We learn about Carter Wong, the martial arts expert who stars in the movie. Amazing credits to his kung fu game.

Preview for TNT's new classic "The Golden Child" starring Eddie Murphy

quirky KIA suv car commercial from 1998 featuring cliche gator hunting / swamp loving Cajuns who'd be the type in reality shows more than a decade later. It's funny here, sort of, but tiresome if you live in this era of bad reality tv "real folk" like this.

preview for Jacki Chan's "Rumble in the Bronx" and its American cable tv debut on TNT

a yuppy mom tries to stuff a pizza into her toaster, but doesn't have to anymore because some processed junk food company invented toaster pizza snacks. "White lady/mom problems"

Kim Cattral is gorgeous, in this movie, and not an old whore who'd make you swear off women like she would after her Sex in the City days

SNL's Weekend Update anchor Kevin Nealon sells out for a collect call "so 90s it hurts" advertisement. One good thing about cell phones is that these ads disappeared

Joe Bob's Drive In Totals for this flick: 57 dead bodies... One kidnapping... Four motor vehicle chases... One wheelchair chase... One White-Slavery Ring... Yellow-Slavery Ring... One Machine Gun Massacre... One Machete Battle... Multiple Blue Finger-Flame... One Zombie-fied Levitating 2,000-Year-Old Man With Really Bad Fingernails... Exploding Building...Exploding Temple... Knife To The Forehead... One Ocean of Chained Skeletons... One Palace Of Golden Buddhas... Poison Gas... Nine Kung Fu Scenes...

Racquelle Welch in One Million BC, another drive in classic, next week on Monstervision

Some Hollywood stunt-men cowboys beat the shit out of each other for a Pontiac "Montana" minivan. Sure, why not?

Soulful 70s singer-songwriter Aflac family insurance ad, family station wagon Tru Value helpful employee kidnapping ad, Home Depot helpful employees..., some bruthas turn a stranger's need for directions into a roadtrip down the road for some McDonalds.... 90s commercials tried to be really feel good, but come off very insipid

"Tired of Phony Psychics?" Generic graphics of lightning strikes and huge yellow background typed letters plus a doe eyed weirdo lady claiming to have certified psychics for her phone network.... "Guaranteed Authentic by the U.S. Govt." HAAAA.... wow! what a claim!

Joe Bob pines about how there aren't perfect women in the world, and how guys give up women over nail color, comparing it to the plot of the movie being about the search for a perfect, green eyed Chinese chick

Then, Joe Bob skewers the politically correct critics, of this movie, who said that Big Trouble re-enforced Asian stereotypes.

Kitschy style Miller Lite commercial where four old ladies try to contact the spirit of one lady's dead husband. He's a slab, of course, and comes back to life, possessing the body of one of her friends, raiding the fridge for beer and scratching his (her) ass. She's overjoyed.

Kellog's Breakfast Mates... A commercial that's basically saying, "Let corporate America continue to "raise" your children." It's convenient.

Joe Bob teaches us about Kurt Russell's ties to Elvis and Disney and John Carpenter

TNT updates its Monstervision website "once a week." Current people and websites, of the internet(s), update every second of the day. Waiting a week for something new is almost as painful as the information (nonsense) overload of right now.

Dennis Miller is in line at a hipster coffe shop complaining about the price of "a cup of Joe" and the price of collect calls. If he sounds like a cranky and out of touch old man here, wait til a decade later where he's rambling incoherently to his best pal Mr.Bill O'Reilly on Fox News.

Two 90s alterna-chicks having a conversation: "One day we'll meet, marry, and have cyber sex with the man of our dreams online." Robert Englud cameo in Dee Snider's Strangeland

Joe Bob points out that there's a "not so incognito" Penthouse Pet in this flick

TNT Mail Girl Reno gets asked to how much it would take to "get nekkid" by Joe Bob, and then he reads an angry letter from an upset liberal who loves freedom so much that he wants to ban free speech that he doesn't like by calling it "hatred." Ha. Joe Bob made a joke about "killing liberals" or something and this guy got his feelings hurt. Boo hoo.

Joe Bob rips TNT a new asshole for taking an awful commercial break, featuring about 14 insipid 90s "feel good" commercials, during the EPIC kung fu finale. Being on TNT, and not too late in the night unlike TNT's 100% Weird, Monstervision suffered some really lame commercials. USA UP All Night usually had more lame B movies instead of good B movies, yet they featured a lot more entertaining and sleazy commercials compared to Monstervision Other, late night basic cable and UHF B movies had better commercials than TNT as well. Fucking TNT. So schmaltzy and sickening. You watch a weird, late night movie, you want weird late night commercials, and you want them not to interrupt the best part of the movie. You don't want a great kung fu scene stopped to have five minutes of sepia toned artsy cinematography of elderly couples slow dancing in the shadow of the Brooklyn bridge while romantic piano music plays and there's a warm feeling about life insurance or some crap.

Roll Credits.*

3 stars for Big Trouble (For fun and memorable characters, it's to the 80s what A New Hope was to the 70s) 3 stars for Joe Bob and 1 star for TNT's bullstuff

---------------------------------------------------------------------

--- Found Footage Fest:

*Caught In The Web, Staying Safe in Cyberspace: Surfin' with a cyber sleuth and stopping smut and sickos both online and in the real world. If any of this is actually real.* close to 3 stars

*Check It Out _ Acne Video: "Hip" teen talk show infomercial about bogus zits.* 2 1/2 stars

*Chef Keith _ Fake Chef Pranks Morning TV Shows: You can make one of those creepy smiling talking head news morning show hosts believe that "The average person eats around a pound and a half of feces a year." HA! Most of the feces comes from morning talks shows.* 3 stars

*Christian Rock Video Showdown: We're all a wiener slash loser with these bands that are a even more soft rock cross between Journey, Foreigner, Kenny Loggins, and a hairy butt.* close to 3 stars

*John and Johnny and Earrings: Homeshopping host is giddy about seashell earrings.* close to 2 stars

--------------------------------

Fargo: The Six Ungraspables *There are no saints in the animal kingdom, only breakfast... lunch.. and dinner.* 3 stars

Gerhard Reinke's America: Gerhard Reinke in Burlington, Vermont *Home of laidback liberals and Lochness lizards.* 2 1/2 stars

Vanity Fair, Confidential: Mad About the Boys *Lou Pearlman loved to hear singing from voices that hadn't yet gone through puberty. He also loved hot air balloons and ponzi schemes. No surprise that the super-rich sponsor of a creepy cult of child entertainers was not-so-secretly a pig-man spawn of Satan himself.* 2 1/2 stars

X Files: Born Again *Mustache'd cop working Chinatown. He gets killed by some shady colleagues. Years later, he returns as a very gloomy little-girl with special powers and vengeance on her(his) mind.* close to 3 stars

The Prisoner: Checkmate *On a wing and a prayer and unfortunately an air of authority.* 3 stars

----- TV Carnage:

*Dr. Drew and MTV Got Cold Feet: Could be worse. Could be dead like Corey Haim and his girlfriend. Killed by Brigette Nielsen, Stallone and Flava Flav's ex.* close to 2 stars

*TV Carnage: Dixie Carter Death Trip: Designing women to be strangely obnoxious.* 2 stars

*Even His Scream Is Bad Acting: Bohunk (Dumb goodlooking American guy. Not the dictionary definition which insults someone from Europe.) slasher victim.* close to 2 1/2 stars

*Give Head Responsibly: Consult your doctor before giving or receiving.* 2 1/2 stars

*God Gives A Second Chance To Anyone. It's In His Book: Especially to those with a Pat Boone singing style and a new book coming out about second chances.* close to 2 1/2 stars

-----------------------------------------

Hannibal: Sorbet *Hannibal has a stalker/fan/wannabe BFF who compares him to Michael Jackson. Meanwhile, Hannibal keeps recipes of people on their business cards.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Look Around You: Music (season 2) *The show's format has completely changed to an in studio info / variety presentation, and while it's no longer the mock science docu-series that it started out as, it's still silly and clever. Plus, it's longer at a half hour.* 2 1/2 stars

Game of Thrones: Season 3 Episode 9 *This show is good and shockingly heavy, as usual, but I watch it in a way that would more than frustrate diehard fans. I'm seasons behind where everyone else is, and I have no concern as to when I see the next chapter.* 3 stars

Shaw Brothers: Executioners from Shaolin *At the heart of this movie is a dysfunctional kung fu family. On the wedding night, the groom can't get the bride's legs open because her crane style is too strong. Mother teaches son crane style kung fu and they playfully use it even when she's trying to wash the family's clothes. Dad can't even sit down to a good meal, because son wants to test dad's tiger style kung fu.* 3 stars

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