#so damn funny sorry

[sharksliveontrains]

funniest part about blue lock is when sae itoshi said actually i'm going to be the best midfielder so you be the best forward and rin said Fuck you how dare you not want to be a forward and that's the whole conflict

[swampybogg]

[poorlydrawninstarsandtime]

really specific hangups

[ids in alt]

[dizzybizz]

"this is regrettably the best kiss of your life, you understand?"

[mutantjellybeans]

Johnny Storm (celebrity with years of media experience and a number of scandals with a massive PR team) and Peter Parker (extremely bitchy broke photographer from queens with no media training) are hopelessly and disastrously in love and it is unfortunately everyone’s problem

[whotfelsewantedtobelynnyx]

Chat, I regret to inform you that I have added a new hyperfixation…so…

Agatha All Along Incorrect Quotes!

Alice: Hold the fuck up.

Also Alice, crawling into Lilia’s lap: It’s me. I’m the fuck up. Hold me.

Rio: I have an idea!

Jen: No murder.

Rio, sighing petulantly: I no longer have an idea.

Lilia: I have a bad feeling about this…

Agatha: What do you mean?

Alice: Don’t you ever get that little voice in the back of your head that tells you if something is going to get you in trouble?

Agatha: No.

Jen: That actually explains so much.

Lilia: As far back as I can remember, I’ve always had this little voice in my head telling me to “live it up today, because there’s not gonna be a lot of tomorrows”.

Agatha: You do realize there’s medication designed to get rid of those kinds of voices, right?

Teen: A bird flew in through my window and I’m trying to befriend it.

*later*

Agatha: Why don’t you quit bothering me and go talk to your bird friend?

Teen: Matthew and I are not speaking at the moment.

*the coven, huddling together behind a makeshift shelter to shield themselves from repeated gunshots*

Alice, hastily shoving the others behind her so she can return fire: Agatha, do you have any idea who would want to shoot you?!

Agatha, squashed between Jen and Rio: Many people want to shoot me. I take great pride in that!

Jen, glaring at the group as she hands over bail money:

Alice, tapping her shoulder: What about Teen?

Jen, glaring more: I’ve got to bail him out too? Where’s Agatha?

Teen: No one called her. We used Lilia’s phone call to call Alice and Rio’s to call you. Then Rio used my phone call to vote for American Idol.

Rio: :)

Jen: Rio isn’t answering her phone.

Agatha: Here, I’ll try.

Jen: Alice and I have tried six times each, what makes you think that-

Rio, picking up on the first ring: Hey, sweetheart.

Agatha: The ends always justify the means!

Jen: Do you know who said that?

Agatha: Was it Oprah or someone nice and great like that?

Jen: It was Machiavelli. A decidedly non-Oprah like person.

Jen: I bet you didn’t even finish the thing I asked you to get done!

Agatha: For your information, I most certainly did! Got it done last night!

Teen, whispering to Agatha: You didn’t get it done, did you?

Agatha, whispering back: I don’t even know what she’s talking about.

Lilia: I am at a loss for words!

Teen, glancing at the camera like his mom like he’s on The Office: Despite being lost for words, Lilia yelled at us for the next 45 minutes.

Agatha, carrying Señor Scratchy out of the room:

Señor Scratchy: *snuggles under her chin*

Agatha, kissing his head: You are being punished. Please stop being adorable. I love you.

Teen: I got a trampoline tent for summer sleepovers!

Jen, whispering to the other adult witches: …think of all the sex.

Alice: There are two types of people.

Rio: If you wanted to eat someone, you could put a fire under it and slowly roast them :)

Lilia: …three. Three types of people.

Jen, cautiously: I can’t believe I didn’t notice this before, but…Teen, you are a little crazy.

Teen: Aren’t we all a little crazy here, Jen?

Jen: No, I mean you’re aging-ballerina, child-chess-prodigy, professional magician kind of crazy.

Teen: It’s my mom’s fault. You know, we come from a Jewish family, but she used to tell me the reason Santa didn’t come was because my room was too dirty.

Rio: I’ve come looking for trouble. And if I can’t find trouble, I WILL create some.

Alice: Do you trust me?

Lilia, smiling proudly at her: Yes.

Alice, who has been completely panicking: Wait, what? Why?!

Agatha, awkwardly glancing around for help: Er…Alice, I’m gonna be honest, I don’t know what to say to people who are crying. So I’m just gonna hope that the tone of my voice makes you think I do, okay, sweetie?

Alice, sniffling: …thanks, Agatha.

Agatha, patting her on the back with a bit too much enthusiasm: No problem, kid.

Lilia: I told Agatha about it weeks ago!

Teen: She WHAT?

Agatha: What??? Lilia says insane shit all the time, how was I supposed to know this one was true?!

Lilia: Bank accounts are a sham created by the shadow government!

Agatha: SEE?!

BONUS:

Wanda, watching from the afterlife: so…when exactly do kids grow out of that whole emo, rebellious stage?

Lorna, shrugging: I don’t know. Alice is still in it.

[dipperscavern]

(apologies in advance if I’m repeating my ask, tumblr literally crashed as I pressed the send button and the app’s being bratty 😭 ig it couldn’t take all the Cregan thirst)

I was wondering what you’d think abt Cregan giving massages? He has…very big, strong hands. The VIENS on those paws, I just know it in my loins. I can imagine them wandering, maybe groping…maybe leading to him manhandling his lady…maybe pinning her facedown into their mattress, body completely encompassing hers…flush against her back…breath and lips hot on her neck as he rutted against her fully clothed…until he wasn’t tehe~

I’ll just leave this here, had to share the vision

~<3

ur all good!! this is the first time it sent haha

i….. oh my god. okay so first off this is delicious and second off we have no secrets here, i’m a hand girlie so this is giving me THOUGHTS GOD

and with how strong he is you know he gives the best massages. those warm, firm hands working out knots with a pressure you couldn’t even dream of. this would also go with father!cregan when you’re pregnant and sore :(( ANYWAYS

you’re so right about the wandering part. he used all his restraint when you were betrothed, and now that you’re his entirely, it’s rare that he tries to hold back anymore. you’re his wife, why wouldn’t he feel the curves of your waist? grope the soft flesh of your thighs? lightly brush against your tits? you lean right into him, who is he to stop?

and he’s working u so good you just can’t help but make a few noises. and they go straight to his cock (naturally), so it leads to his front pressed against your back… letting you feel all of him. you’re putty in his hands, it didn’t take much to maneuver you into the position he wanted you in. (as you said) his lips trailing hot kisses on your neck, and even though you’re clothed, he’s rubbing against you just right. then when you’re about to cum, he completely pulls away, making u whine. he just silences you with his lips as he moves to pull your clothing off. 🙂‍↕️

[funsizedcrow]

People love to talk about how much arson wild does and thats fun but also lets remember that in twilight princess in order to progress the game you do have to set a building full of bombs on fire. and it does explode.

[tempestmothstorm]

crazy how the sanshee plush is one of the few actual direct confirmations on what a non-act 2 Natsuki’s home life is like because of how cagey she is on literally everything. Like this isn’t anything surprising or something you wouldn’t be able to extrapolate from the games but unlike everything else we know about her the implications are right there on the tin.

They literally did the character bio trope where where all the likes are normal but the dislikes are about their very specific trauma it’s just so funny they did that on the plushie card

[bubblegum-and-ciggarettes]

Genuinely glad they said something because it was all I could focus on when he was being all emo

[fujiblackthorne]

PART III: THE PEACEKEEPER ; a summary 🪖

[vanhelsingapologist]

Drew this for @antichrist-vevo in a small secret santa event. Thank you for the prompt and letting me draw for you! Raharomancers, you are braver than all of us.

[violent138]

All of the U.S. governmental agencies accuse each other of having come up with Batman and there's a lot of eye-rolling on each side if anyone complains about him because they think it's a false flag op or some other attempt to deflect suspicion and that interagency competition is fuelled by Oracle and Batman until nobody really pulls the plug on Batman because they could be getting ripped a new one from their boss.

[muffingnf]

sapnap realising he was screaming at punz while muted: i wasn’t talking on purpose i have nothing to say 🙄

hbomb: i know sapnap and that’s not true

hannah: i would bet a thousand dollars that you said something and you thought we could hear you

sapnap: NOPE! WRONG! WRONG!

[royaltea000]

I’ve never felt so conflicted about a franchise in my life but at least this dude was hot

[cupiidzbow]

i wanted to draw kalypso again!! 🐊💜 ( also live candy reaction )