#so all this is spurred by her
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i'm not letting anyone ever make me feel bad about me, my choices, things and people i love/care about, hobbies whatever, ever. respect me, or (kindly), kick bricks🧱 i'm just done with that "letting things happen" or niceties if you're not nice to me or others. you gonna disrespect me, i won't respect you and i just won't talk to you. life is too short to be a mean person. i don't wanna be a pushover. i'm not gonna let people make me feel bad anymore no matter who they are. i cried my last tear over that stuff. not gonna be hostile, or mean but assertive, because it's a new era and i want positivity. i want good things, i like my peace and anyone who threatens me with that i don't want around me. it's just bs. 💩 i don't want any negativity, so if you're gonna be mean or whatever do not interact w/ this.
#personal#ugh#i literally cried myself to sleep with my stomach in knots over this shit#like my bfs aunt is so mean#she's been saying these little things and she's really getting to me#all week long giving me shit about everything i do#i'm so thankful for my boyfriends family and i love them all but she i can't with#its a good thing she lives 3000 miles away regularly#his mom was so upset when my bf and i were discussing things last night bc the aunt has a habit of doing this stuff#and she didn't know it was as bad as it was between her sister and me#so all this is spurred by her#and like generally#his grandma was mad too bc i have literally done nothing to this woman#and i'm newly moving in and i'm overwhelmed and chaotic these days with that#i'm tryna stay positive#i'm a lil nervous bc they're gonna have a convo with her#and let her know that she's being a lot rn and i'm like afraid of her#i also don't wanna make her madder than she is already#if she's even mad or its just how she is#idk the whole thing#but it really hurt me bc i looked forward to meeting her and then when i did we do not jive#i thought we would#never meet your heroes kids
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To the next adventure...
Image description and details under cut
I.D.
[A drawing of Nicky, Joe, Quynh, and Andy from The Old Guard. They are all in profile, walking in a straight line facing the sun. They are dressed in medieval clothing and armour, and each carry their own weapons and bags. Nicky has his sword, a crossbow, a quiver of bolts, a dagger at his belt and another strapped to his ankle. Joe is holding his sword, a bag, and a coin purse. Quynh's bow is over her back, and her quiver is at her hip. Two daggers are strapped to her belt, one of them matching Nicky's. Andy is holding her axe, two bags, and a dagger. They each have serene expressions and closed eyes, as if they're not in a hurry. In the background, the seasons change from winter to spring, summer, fall. There is an old tree behind them, and its branches change with the seasons.]
#tog#the old guard#nicolo di genova#yusuf al kaysani#quynh#andromache of scythia#the old gays#siggy draws#FINALLY. this took... 3 months altogether? FUCK i miss these four.#apologies if my image description is super long. i really enjoy drawing all these tiny details...#director's commentary as usual:#when i draw stuff like this it's usually because i'm working on a big fic. and i am. but also it is taking me over a year so far#because i'm finishing my undergrad. but i do plan to finish the fic!#regardless they could be walking anywhere.#tried to keep it sometime around the 14th century. i always try to put them in clothes that reflect their personalities -#- and places of origin more or less.#andromache's mail is old af and not in good shape. only she and nicolo have spurs so i guess they would be the riders if they had horses#but i am not about to attempt to draw a horse lol#details i like: nicky's little hat to protect his hair from his chainmail. his and quynh's matching daggers. yusuf's fancy-boy armour.#quynh's leg wraps and her jerkin. and andy's super old chainmail and her whip braids <3#where are they going? where did they come from? it's up to ye.
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showing people my art and my writing and my interests and being told "can't you like/do something nicer :(" makes meee. tired. it feels like all my technical skills in words or drawings or analysis just peel away and die because the subject is scary or gross or just generally on the darker side. "I'm calling a therapist" jokes don't make me laugh, they make me feel like my talents don't matter if the things I'm making are bloody or scary and that my actual real life morality and personhood is somehow made worse by enjoying these things. idk. the burden of the autistic horror guy is sisyphean
#this is OK to rb itd be nice to kjow anyone else relates to this#beckonings#spurred by me just showing my mom a piece i spent 5 hours on and her goijg#'cant you draw kittens or puppies or something for once?? why is everything you make so disturbing?? im worried about you' and its like idk#my art could be a little nicer. or---consider---you could be a little nicer.#you dont have to like dark subject matter even (i phrase it as dark subject matter cause it isnt even all bad enough to benhorror lmao)#but you can at least not pretend that the second something makes you uncomfortable there was no skill behind it.
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Daniel with Shyla pre- vs. post-sarcophagus addiction
#what shyla does to him is truly and thoroughly deeply fucked up if you think about it. anyway more meta in the tags below lol#stargate#sg-1#daniel jackson#shyla#michael shanks#s2#ep5#2.5#***edits#love love love how they showed his descent in this ep#the transition from gentle and patient and considerate danny into a smarmy swaggering piece of shit#also as deeply fucked up as what shyla does is you almost get it???#like she's so lonely and isolated at the beginning of the episode she tries to commit suicide#and there's daniel saving her! she's never had anyone except her mother who died and her abusive father so of course she gets attached#and she is prepared to do ANYTHING to keep him because she's isolated and naive and yeah it's really fucked up and she becomes the abuser#and in order to try to keep him she changes him so drastically from the man she actually liked. because she's young and isolated and stupid#and when after all she put him through he STILL comes back to help her and it's THAT that spurs her to change her entire civilization#to break the cycle her father started#all because daniel first saved her and then forgave her#my VERY GOOD BOY!!!!!
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thinking about my little meow meow
sol emeralds and sol energy fucking her up 😱
#sth#blaze the cat#au stuff#me n my friend have crafted lore for the sol emeralds#cuz there's literally nothing canonical lmao#they're like foils to the chaos emerald#and simultaneously reflecting blaze's personality vs sonic's#so they're like chaos vs order here#I luv the hc that chaos energy spurs the growth of plants and flowers#and it's important in this au#so the sol emeralds sorta do the opposite#cause destruction and wilt and kill any surrounding plantlife etc etc#sonic's beauty of chaos vs blaze's downfall via order#u feel me#and her powers are 'fueled' by sol energy ig#I'd need to dissect my brain to truly explain wtf I mean by all of this#but in essence the sol emeralds don't like anyone and barely tolerate blaze LMAO#must maintain the order and stability quite literally to a fault#so all that is fucking her up! caused scarring from using her powers!#so the bangles r to help regulate and disperse that energy so the scarring doesnt really go past the wrists#ok bye i'm talking too much here sry#luc arte
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as a little treat i am sharing with you little Aya doodles I've done over the last few days to unwind ww just little expressions based on lines in-game because those are always fun to draw. nothing too special just biscuit
it's Aya because upon doing bizarrely throughout playthroughs of the game for still unspecified project purposes I've gained a soft spot for her she's my daughter now my mental tier list on my favorite characters is so confusing right now
#re:kinder#fanart#aya re:kinder#aya hibino#i state shes my daughter NOW because before i didnt pay too big of a mind to her#but honestly in each different playthrough of this game i gain new appreciation for each character#because fun fact ryou was my favorite character at first just because he seemed nice and was a healer and was nice#second playthrough brought in rei and shunsuke in my mind because they ate it up wirh their roles in the story#meanwhile as time passed yuuichi started to grow on me as i realized he was a little too relatable BASICALLY THINGS LIKE THAT#and spoilers for the unspecified project mentioned in the text just because i feel like it#i also did this because having a transcript of every line just spurred me on becquse of how easy it made things#its much more fun to start doing these kind of line based doodles when you dont have to manually go througj hours of gameplay to find stuff#so just being ablr to ctrl f through a document made me very glad HEUEHEHEBEHR#im still working on it it needs proofreading and polishing on some sides but overall it should be here soon i hope#if anyones interested in it do let me know HUEHEHEBRB i will post it regardless but it would be nice to know if anyone is interested#ANYWAY#as to why Aya seems to have a purse when her sprite doesnt its because her equipment mentions her carrying a yellow pouch#its meant to be that!!!#she looks very goofy with it on made me giggle ngl#(as in. amusement)#it adds more interest to her visual design so its nice to have it there im glad its there#OH YEAH SOME COMMENTARY ON ONE OF HER LINES HERE THAT REALLY PIQUED MY INTEREST#if sayaka dies and shes there to see it (thus. you chose to bring her with you) she has this line#where it implies that shes afraid of dying which makes things sad when she's suicidal#she already states i think her desire is more to disappear than to die exactly but even then it's quite sad#like even if she wants to disappear with how gloomy she's feeling and all the things going around with her parents#shes just a little girl who doesn't want to die😭😭#it really adds a sense of realism to how depression is tackled in game at least for me#that when one is depressed and suicidal a lot of the time it's the wish for this state of suffering to end rather than to actually die#SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER ITS ONE OF THE THINGS THAT UPPED MY APPRECIATION FOR HER
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thing that makes me feral is its everyone else telling Jinx who she is
her friends end up dead and she's still got their voices in her head telling her who and what she is. Silco spends the rest of his life telling her who she is to him. one city is telling her shes a terrorist and the other that she's a savior. even Isha is the one who 'adopted' Jinx, deciding that they would have a relationship—Jinx just go to decide what that looks like
I don't even have a point to this, just. the relationship with Isha and the touching her shoulders scene could both be seen as moments of growth for Jinx—people rely on her, they trust her, they believe in her, and she seems to believe it for the first time since Vi returned—but they're also just more instances of other people telling her who she should be
#arcane#idk i kind of love that all those people touch her shoulders and walk away... and jinx immediately goes and does something else#like i'd have to analyze the visual language of that scene a lot more to know how the animators wanted that to read#but it was such a... everyone acknowledging you're just a figurehead#like good job. we appreciate you. we're moving forward#and Jinx definitely is hit by the gravity of the situation as well... and then leaves to go find Vi and deal with the Vander situation#of course thats because the big monster fight happens right after the shoulder touch scene and she IS fighting to defend the people#but theres two episodes where shes like alright. well. nevermind im slinking back into the shadows to deal with my family stuff now#and everything with Isha too!!#Isha is desperately trying to get Jinx to be the heroic figure everyone wants her to be and Jinx is NOT interested#and I can totally see Isha's death spurring Jinx on to let herself be this thing she didn't want to be#and I don't even know if that's necessarily bad it's just again other people telling her who she is!!#let Ekko be the figurehead leader of the rebellion where the hell is Ekko! he's in the opening credits so he can't possibly be dead so soon
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I just need to talk about her before I explode I made another bungou oc and I love her a lot I’m not gonna lie
#her name is liliya and she’s the loml#she’s a quotes prince set on cleansing the world of impurity#which is her own way of saying . she’s a terrorist. as par the course for bungou#she has a design in my head but I haven’t drawn her OOPS she’s handsome though hopefully I’ll be able to execute that#she refers to herself in such a manner like she’s a prince but it’s all in title she has no noble origins to speak of#she was AUCH a spur of the moment character#she’s assertive but tries to remain charming and noble at all times#she has a super flowery way of speaking but I haven’t written fancy prince talk in forever so I’m struggling#ram rambles#but fr this time
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I LOVE SEEING VISIBLE TRANS PEOPLE IN PUBLIC I WILL COMPLEMENT YOU ON EVERY PART OF YOUR APPEARANCE YOU WORKED SO HARD TO PERFECT
I LOVE YOU OLDER TRANS PEOPLE LIVING PROUDLY IN YOUR TRANSITION
I LOVE YOU YOUNGER TRANS PEOPLE WHO HAVE A MILLION DIFFERENT PRONOUNS AND ARE EXPLORING EVERY CORNER OF YOUR IDENTITY
I LOVE YOU MY TRANS SIBLINGS OF COLOR YOU ARE THE FOUNDATION
I LOVE YOU PEOPLE WHO HAD TO DETRANSITION DUE TO YOUR CURRENT SITUATION, OR ARE CURRENTLY CLOSETED FOR THE SAME REASON
I LOVE YOU DISABLED TRANS PEOPLE
I LOVE YOU TRANS PEOPLE WHO ARE ALIVE TODAY AND DOING YOUR BEST
I LOVE YOU TRANS PEOPLE!!!!!!!!
🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️
#glowsticcc rambles#transgender#trans positivity#trans pride#this was all spurred bc i served a lovely trans woman today at work#and it gave me so much joy#i complemented the dress she bought and told her it went with her lipstick#she was just so full of joy and it was so inspiring
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tfw u go for a mental health walkies in the woods and a dog tries to attack you
#tries only being that I didn't get I jured but he was all over me and his owner was terrified#couldn't have acted more calm I hid my arms so he couldn't bite my hands etc#wtf are u meant to do#punch em in the head or what#covered in mud and all shaken up now#I got her to put em on a leash but what if I was a kid or someone who reacted in a manner that spurred it on idk
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What bothers me about people using the Ovid story of Medusa so much is the layers of misogyny around it. Like obviously Ovid was a pos and misogynist, obviously, we know this. But also like the people that prefer his version over the actual story. And I don't mean sexual assault survivors feeling connection with Medusa in the story, I think that's fine and is still fitting with Medusa's original mythos. And even if it didn't fit, I still think it's fine to find connection with that story bc it's fictional and you can feel connected with fictional characters, we do it all the time. my issue is with people that prefer Ovid's story over the actual mythos simply because they find it "more interesting", "it's a better story", "it gives her character depth".
Why does a woman have to be a victim for you to find her interesting? Why can't she be interesting as she is, happy and powerful? Why must we constantly subject women to horrors and brutality for the sake of a good story? Medusa, in the actual, original Greek myth was already an interesting character. She was already a good story. She was born a gorgon with her sisters, she was the only mortal gorgon of her sisters, she was powerful and strong and feared and revered, her visage is used as a symbol of protection and safety and strength. And continuing to perpetrate Ovid's sexist fanfiction takes away all of that to make her a subject to the wrath of the gods, to be punished for being a victim. And this isn't to say that victims are weak or can't be powerful. But why do we want her to be a strong victim when we can just not rape her in the first place.
#greek mythology#Medusa#fuck ovid all my homies hate ovid#this is like. about mythology just in general at this point but was obviously spurred by percy Jackson#ive been mad about this since Tuesday im so serious#at first i was mad in defense of athena bc how dare you slander her like this#but now im mad in defense of medusa bc honestly what the fuck#Percy Jackson#percy jackon and the olympians
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The erasure of the anger that comes with Jinx's grief is really where s2 went wrong
#that and the fact they decided her mental illness just mostly poofed away 'cause sil was dead as if HE was the catalyst of that like#we didn't actively see pow having extreme emotional turmoil at the slightest hint of feeling rejected#even at a young age ; this girl has been troubled since she was a child ; he didn't help it at all ; but he CERTAINLY wasn't what spurred i#she was already going through extremes before he even came into the picture#so the fact that they basically dampen all of it and just put her into melancholy over rage#as if to say that with him gone ; she just doesn't get like that as often#is just wild to me; if anything ; it should have made her spiral more and made her a real menace to pi/tover#ugh it just frustrates me that him dying was somehow supposed to just fix that#even though it was an issue she was battling before#killing her loved ones and then being rejected by the one she felt was her person#is what exacerbated her mental illness b/c she started hallucinating about them#because what happened had traumatized her-- si/co certainly did not help the situation#and he absolutely contributed to perpetuating aspects of it with his own codependency issues and his view on loyalty#but it was already hitting extremes before he was in the picture
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was randomly reminded of an old hc I had where allison is still alive because she's one of the marines serving on the spirit of fire
#the math does NOT work for this hc as allison died in 2528 (most likely during the harvest campaign) but its still a fun hc#the sof finally gets to unsc controlled space and allison is so excited to see her husband and child only for her to learn they're both dead#oh and her husband was a war criminal#allison: i was only presumed dead after being stranded in space for 40 years wth happened???#rvb#red vs blue#allison church#mine#queue allison going on a quest across the galaxy to track down the few remaining pfl personnel that exist (the reds and blues) in order to#figure out wtf happened after being lost in space and surprise! it turns out not all of her family is dead#oooooh adding in my carwash half sibs hc and surprise! her daughter AND her son are both still kicking#wash getting to meet the mother he never met and carolina getting to meet the woman she never knew#she is not a memory brought back from the dead she is not a shadow forever haunted by failure—or maybe she is#allison is as much of a ghost as they are. a woman haunted by the passage of time and the actions her 'death' spurred
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As troublesome as Gotham can be, Pauli's is one of those places that rarely gets hit. It's open 24/7 and offers good food to all regardless of who they are and Pauli isn't afraid to hire former criminals like Jerry who used to be muscle for Scarface. Petty thugs who threaten the place for cash are just as likely to receive backlash from their fellow crooks as they would from law-abiding citizens because where else are you going to get a decent meal at 4am?
#🌈 || musings#🌈 || headcanons#I got covid ffs so trying to spur some activity#And I can't remember if I wrote about this before#But I like that there's this idea that Pauli's is kinda off-limits to most criminals in Gotham bc that's an honest to god mom and pops dine#Plus Jerry is intimidating af#Imagine somebody kicking up a fuss or trying to hold the place up for cash in the register and this massive black dude steps out#Standing 6'7 and carrying 300lbs of muscle staring you down while holding a goddamn meat tenderizer#Doesn't even need a gun he can throw that shit across the diner and nail whomever#Cindy's the one who carries a gun#Sweet innocent Cindy who won't take shit after dealing with the Mad Hatter#So yeah attacking Pauli's is kind of a bad idea because it's one of those [Everybody Disliked That] situations#Good food at fair prices to all it's an oasis in a city like Gotham#It's just funny to me because Jerry and Cindy can be menaces in their own right let alone Khare being a flesh horror and all#Just wants to do an honest god and go home at the end of her shift aghsfsd#Oh yeah and Rorschach also watches over the place#So anybody causing trouble is going to get hate from all sides ahsgsf
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JENNIFER KNIGHT/PHANTOM LADY & DANE MAXWELL/DOLL MAN in PHANTOM LADY AND DOLL MAN (2012)
#jennifer knight#dane maxwell#phantom lady#doll man#dane x jennifer#it’s too bad this series ended so abruptly because this is one trope I’m absolutely about#and it would have been neat to see their relationship progress past the point where jennifer accepted Dane’s feelings for her as real#and embraced her own feelings for him#so we could see the other barriers their lives presented toward them being together (esp with dane being trapped in his small state. as a#character with so much insecurity already who would be hard pressed to believe the woman he’s loved almost all his life finally lives him#back handles the idea of not ‘measuring up’ and his disbelief of being enough for her)#which would parallel whatever insecurities jennifer is showing here. where she’s incapable of believing the man she knows loves her is#someone who could be *in* love with her#and the series never got the chance to explain Jennifer’s backstory in enough detail to illuminate why that might be. why she hides behind#casual sex instead of real intimacy and why she’s blind to the true feelings of someone she clearly cares so much for#and getting more info on their childhood would have been rlly interesting too#diving into how exactly they met and what spurred their mutual interest/eventual friendship#how long have they known each other? was it love at first sight for dane or did he know her before 3rd grade and only realize the depth of#his feelings then?#and it would have been interesting to spend more time with Jennifer recovering from the lengths she went to with Cyrus to get information#and the impact that had on her#as well as her relationship with dane which is clearly strained at this point#it’s all very open ended. a shame#*panelsandpages#freedom fighters
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meryl is the best character in stampede and if i ever see anyone talking shit on her i will kill them with my bare hands she is literally so important to me.
#trigun#grymms spectacular fucking posts#trigun stampede#tristamp#meryl stryfe#this wasnt spurred on my anything in specific btw i just thpught i should say it#i mean i have seen people talk shit on her and it makes me so mad like. she is literally the driving force of the plot.#she is also such a well written and human feeling character who reacts both realistically and interestingly to all the shit she experiences#and boy does she go thru some shit but she pulls thru and i love her for it#she's almost as stubborn as me and i admire that
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