#so all of those are really shit arguments
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this isn’t a specific attack against this person, they seem to be trying hence why ive blurred out their username but i do want to talk for a second about this weird “meet in the middle” argument that a lot of people try and make about the dprk. “its not as bad as the cia says but there is no way it can be as good as the dprk gov says.”
to quickly get this person’s points out of the way, yes north koreans have shit wages, this is because your wage isn’t really needed for anything but pleasure because all things you need to live are provided for free by the government, which is why wages are so low, the government takes that money and uses it to provide an equal standard of living to all citizens. yes you can’t get every medication that you can get in europe, and fucking hell do i know that, but this is because the dprk is under sanctions that don’t specifically bar them from importing medicine but make it extremely difficult. despite this in 2010, then who director margaret chan called the dprk’s healthcare system “the envy of the developing world.” also the idea that meat is more processed is just… fascinating? i think that’s a new one for me. but be my guest and go down to any coastal area and tell the small army of grandpas fishing and the young kids crab catching that the meat that they are literally sourcing themselves is more processed. and no, the dprk doesn’t jail people for political engagement, over 52 thousand people voted against the ruling party in the most recent elections and nothing happened to them (doing the math with the statistics from kcna and the 2008 census), but do you know who does jail people for politically engaging in a way they don’t like?
the “truth is somewhere in the middle” argument about the dprk is designed to make you feel reasonable while still buying into cia peddled imperialist propaganda. the wildest anti-dprk claims (like “everyone thinks kim jong un invented the hamburger” “medical workers are paid in cigarettes” or whatever) are obviously fake, so most self proclaimed leftists reject those. but they still look at this propaganda and assume, “well, the dprk government must be lying too, because all governments lie (<- incredibly western and capitalist centric mindset), so the reality has to be somewhere in the middle.”
rhis ignores two things:
the wild propaganda exists to push exactly this reaction. you’re not supposed to believe it literally; you’re supposed to think, “okay, that’s exaggerated, but it still can’t be as good over there as the dprk gov claims it is.” it’s a softer way of maintaining skepticism towards anything a foreign nation says without realising you’re still working within an imperialist framework.
the dprk actually provides receipts for their claims, photos, videos, and testimony from thousands of international students, workers, and tourists who’ve been there. these people haven’t come back en masse saying, “it’s a dystopia!” even north koreans working and studying abroad, who could defect if they wanted to, don’t overwhelmingly denounce their country. but people dismiss this evidence because they believe that the dprk gov is crazy enough that they��d build houses, take photos of them and then blow them or leave them empty up for some mysterious reason that these enlightened western leftists can never explain. and they assume north koreans are “brainwashed.” which is wild, because if you believe Americans can overcome their own propaganda and critique the usa in the numbers that they have, why wouldn’t north koreans be able to think critically too? if your argument relies on the idea that north koreans are uniquely incapable of rational thought, that says a lot more about your biases towards koreans and asians than it does about the dprk.
the “meet in the middle” argument also conveniently ignores the conditions in which the dprk exists. it’s a socialist state under siege, rebuilding after colonisation and war while surviving the some of the most intense sanctions in modern history. if people were really interested in the “truth,” they’d focus on why the usa spends so much energy demonising the dprk in the first place. they’d ask themselves why they’re more likely to believe anonymous sources in cia funded newspapers than the voices of north koreans and people living and working in the dprk.
i personally think the dprk is an amazing country, but i understand that many dont and never will. but very few dominant voices in the discourse demand perfection from the usa or its allies, even though they’re responsible for countless atrocities. but when it comes to the dprk, even minor criticisms are used as proof that it’s a failure or illegitimate. propaganda against the dprk almost always relies on this weird moral absolutism, if the dprk isn’t perfect by some impossible standard, then it must be bad, or worse, evil. that’s not a standard applied to any other country (maybe with exception for other socialist nations) but when applied to the dprk it’s perceived as incredibly fair and reasonable, because “we could all just be even more racist and believe everything the cia tells us but instead we are giving you the smallest little platform to state your case”. i don’t understand how people don’t get how ridiculous this is.
i can’t think of a good way to conclude this but please just understand that if you are approaching trying to learn more about the dprk with the pre existing bias that it’s an evil nation the learning that you do will never even be slightly objective and in a couple years time you’ll end up being the person arguing that north korean’s brains have developed to lack critical thinking skills or whatever. approach the dprk as you would any normal country, because that’s what it is, a normal country.
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Street kids love batarangs.
You gotta prep em right. Lots of padding and duct-tape and support on the part you want to grab so you don't slice yourself using them.
But now you have the ultimate kid-sized knife.
Stab those assholes trying to steal your shit.
Stab those assholes trying to steal you.
Stab those assholes trying to stab you before they can stab you.
Use it to open cans, break chains on doors, cut wood, cut cloth, cut anything you need cut. Works as a mini-crowbar even.
Make sure you got something good and thick/solid to wrap around it if you're not using it. Because again, sharp.
Kids trade tips on how best to sharpen them.
The right kind of files or stones, that sort of thing. But there are other more esoteric requirements kids just assume must exist.2
There's a widespread belief that they can only be sharpened on roof tops under moonlight, or somewhere dark where the sun's never reached.
The arguments over which one it is have ended in mass brawls more than once.
Some kids swear that if you can collect thirteen undamaged batarangs, you can call upon the Bat to grant you a single boon.
Other kids say that if you collect too many, the Bat will come for you in the night to steal you away for your greed.
Every ER worker in Gotham can identify "I tried to grab a batarang wrong" hand wounds on sight.
Fortunately, because they're so sharp, there's usually not much scaring.
There are several public service organizations in Gotham that pay in exchange for turned in batarangs because those things are a menace when left around.
Batman would really like it if his kids would please go and grab all their stray throwing knives shaped like bats after a fight.
The kids then ask Batman how many he looses on an average night.
Batman says that's not the point.
The kids say that's exactly the point.
And life goes on.
Do we think random people in Gotham find Batarangs wedged into walls or lying around and decide to take a shot at throwing them, and it slowly becomes a Gotham city staple you can play at the arcade/bar? (Everyone is surprised at how hard it is to throw them with accuracy and the force needed to have any sort of impact)
The Batkids delight in either pretending they don't know how to (as civilians)/alternatively flirting by demonstrating their expert ability to nail phone numbers to alleyways.
There are also definitely collectors who trade these Batarangs and organize them by era based on material, and you get extra acclaim if you know the provenance of the Batarang (fished out of the harbour or taken out of a GCPD squad car).
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eyes without a face
please click! happy 2025 :]!! may this year bring u so much joy i love you
pairing…ellie williams x fem!reader x abby anderson
in which…your relationship with abby doesn’t stop ellie from liking you.
before you read…angst. modern au. pathetic losertron 5000 ellie :[ this is just me really wanting to write #that scene from tpobaw which is a warning within itself. truth or dare trope. established messy relationship with abby. dina gets mistreated by ellie </3 did i mention ellie is a loser
it’s not hard to make ellie uncomfortable.
throw her in a crowded party or put her in a room where you’re clinging to abby, and it’s done. easy. like now. her eyes are betraying her, not daring to blink or look away, while abby’s whispering shit in your ear that has you giggling sweetly.
she can’t hear you, the music and chatter are way too loud, but she already knows what the noise sounds like. it’s when she makes a stupid geeky pun as you’re studying in her dorm, that the light laughter turns her face beet red— another thing that’s not hard to earn from ellie.
not from you, at least.
when your fingertips trace her fern tattoo, leaf to leaf, ellie holding her breath and arm in place. showing up to hang out in one of her hoodies you have assumed are yours by now, she’ll let you believe it, because she doesn’t want to change it.
telling her how smart she is. how funny she is. and some vulnerable, teary-eyed, post-argument with your girlfriend nights, how you wish abby were more like her.
compassionate...understanding...kind. things your girlfriend lacks, you had told her. it was one of the more severe arguments and surely said out of resentment, but ellie secretly and happily took it as a win.
if she was blunt, free from nerves that taunt her regularly, ellie would agree. maybe free you from her. become a villain to abby and her friends, the loved group that already despises ellie and her too close proximity to you, and her entire ‘no good’ existence.
but she would be your hero. that’s how she would like to think of herself— but ellie is very self-aware and knows that’s not a reality in any universe. her confidence is nonexistent, and reaching out to you would be reaching for the stars. two things she will only dream of.
you’re with her, that ellie cannot change that. she shouldn’t even be so fucking invested in you or your relationship.
she almost has her own, after all. sort of. it’s complicated, her and dina never put a label on what they were. she couldn’t use the term ‘distraction’ without seeming like the biggest jackass in history, but that is what she is.
searching for the qualities that you beautifully possess, in an entirely different person, and being disappointed she cannot find them. ellie feels bad about it, but somewhere in between those guilty thoughts, she wonders if it’s the same for you.
if you looked at abby and tried to find her in there somewhere, if the same sad realization that they were nothing alike, and you're with the wrong person, hits you as it does her.
shamefully, the idea makes ellie happy.
watching abby lead you away, out of her eyesight, did not make her happy.
“got us drinks,” dina chirps, plopping down onto the couch beside ellie, the auburn-haired girl honestly not noticing dina had ever left in the first place. she hasn't been paying attention to much besides you.
“thanks,” ellie makes sure to tell her, taking the red solo cup, sniffing it, and scrunching her face. the fuck is in that punch? she doesn’t know, but the brunette doesn’t seem to mind, sipping while nodding her head to the beat of the music playing throughout the house.
ellie, trying to be normal, shows a smile and brings the cup to her lips, gulping down the harsh alcohol all at once. she hates it, and she’s surprised she doesn’t throw it up immediately.
“thirsty?” dina jokes, earning an awkward chuckle from ellie, who is still eyeing the crowd before her, waiting for your reappearance.
maybe it will be without her, and she can finally talk to you alone, free from the prying and judgmental eyes of your damn girlfriend. she could barely even greet you when she arrived, the blonde's arm wrapped around your shoulder, subtly pulling you away after ellie got a ‘hi,’ in. asshole.
she will never know what you see in her. why you complain about her one night and then fuck her the next. she understands you with everything, besides your relations with her— unless she is your distraction. she’s hot and everyone with working eyes can tell. you two look great together, but you don’t work great together. not in ellie’s opinion, anyway.
ellie starts to drift now, the muffled noise of whatever story dina was telling and the noisy crowd blending, a headache of a symphony. or perhaps it’s the vile drink already hurting her head. or both and she should just ask dina if they could leave this stupid fucking party.
then she sees you. alone, visibly upset, locking eyes with her for a split second, but that’s all she needs. you don’t stay still, you’re walking away once more, but ellie thinks of it as an invitation. you liked to be with her when you were sad, even if ellie sucked at processing emotions, or giving any sort of advice regarding them.
you noticed this when she kept her mouth shut after ranting about something wrong abby had done, and poor ellie just didn’t know what to say. she never seemed to. you didn’t take issue with it, because the most important thing was, that she listened to you. she let you sob and held you in her always welcoming arms. it was enough for you, and why you’ll always appreciate ellie’s friendship.
you find yourself in the snowy backyard, colorful lights thrown messily on a large tree that young adults stand beneath, smoking a joint. you’d join them if you had the energy to be around people, but your previously high spirits had now gone. it was something little-- but the little nitpicky things somehow always led to a dramatic feud with your girlfriend.
you let out a deep sigh, taking a few steps away from the door and leaning on the house, everything a bit more quiet. your thoughts aren’t, though, not until you see her from your perpetual vision, making her way toward you. her gaze is heavy, examining you and keeping a small distance as she also leans against the brick exterior.
“something happen?” ellie asks, knowing both the answer and the cause.
“what do you think?”
“right…” ellie nods, face flushing red at your bitter sarcasm, which you regret immediately. all she’s trying to do is help. ellie doesn’t take it to heart, though, recovering quickly with a joke. half joke. “want me to beat her up?”
it earns a light chuckle from you, ellie smiling to herself as result.
“no…no…she just…never mind.”
she chews her lip, keeping her focus on her scribbled converse, wishing you would elaborate. not because she specifically wants to hear about what happened, but so you would. you would say the words aloud, rehashing it, rethinking where your relationship stands with her. that’s what ellie wants most.
“i understand,” ellie says, a safe response. much safer than where she’s about to lead this conversation.
“where is she?”
“hm? i don’t know?” you ask back, confused about abby’s whereabouts being relevant to right now. you don’t even care, you don’t want to see her. you turn to ellie, “why?”
she opens her mouth, then shuts it, and opens it again.
“i mean…if my girlfriend and i fought at some stupid party…i wouldn’t leave her alone…” ellie speaks quietly, nervously, fiddling with her fingers, “especially you…”
you don’t get the last part. not how ellie wants you to, green eyes parting from her shoes and to your face, waiting for a reaction— for the realization that you’re standing out in the cold with her, not your girlfriend, who is seemingly pretending nothing happened while mingling with her group of ghouls.
but after letting her comment linger, you laugh slightly. “isn’t your girlfriend alone in there right now?”
“she’s not my—” ellie corrects you too damn fast, gulping, “we’re just friends.”
just friends. dina would probably wear that desolated frown if she heard ellie say that, the brunette was more interested in ellie than ellie to her, it makes sense ellie could never really help you with your relationship.
she was struggling with hers, or whatever she had going on with dina. you just hope she’s happy, and being taken care of, and feeling loved. you wouldn’t know, she doesn’t talk to you about any of that. like it’s too personal, but nothing was ever too personal between you and ellie. you hadn’t thought so.
“well, your friend is probably wondering where you are…you should go back in.”
“i want to be with you.”
again, she speaks too fast. you’re looking at her with unreadable eyes, and it makes her feel weird.
“i-i want to make sure you’re okay,” ellie adds, your lips curling into a soft smile that turns her pupils heart-shaped. always so selfless, putting you before her or anyone else.
you're not surrounded with many people like that, like ellie, making you feel like a priority instead of a burden. wanting to be with you, instead of feeling like she needs to simply because you're not okay. she's the sweetest girl you know.
“you’re my favorite friend, you know that?” ouch.
ouch ouch ouch. yeah, that’s what she is, but when you say it it sounds wrong. as if it’s diminishing what she truly is to you, which is so much more than that cursed f word. and still, she smiles, only half fake. at least she’s your favorite something, she thinks.
“dina is a lucky girl.”
the words take ellie back for a moment, mouth parting slightly despite not having a thing to say. it’s almost teasing her, surely not intentionally, but ellie would forget about dina— or any single person if you had wanted her to. if you wanted her. do you?
there’s a comfortable beat of silence between you two, the snow now beginning to fall lightly. it doesn’t bother you, but you do shiver, and ellie takes notice. she’s already peeling her brown trucker jacket off before you could protest, knowing if abby had seen it, it would start another fight.
abby thinks you’re closer than you should be, and if you truly believed it was solely a concern because of your relationship, you’d be a respectful partner and listen to her complaints. but it’s not.
it’s personal, a vendetta against ellie and everything that she was that you admired. a loser with hardly any friends, a nerd that doesn’t even belong to this party tonight, a freak that’s obsessed with you...abby wasn’t kind to her.
you defend her, but usually, it makes it worse. you couldn’t fix that— them. especially because it’s mutual, though ellie never flat-out said anything cruel about abby. she just never said anything nice either.
“thank you,” you tell ellie as her jacket engulfs you with warmth, and the spicy scent of sandalwood that you only associate with her. it makes you feel like you’re being hugged tightly by her.
it’s the perfect moment. the party is dying down, and the muffled chatter is even quieter. everything is hushed currently, the blanket of snow coating the ground making sure of it. it’s so peaceful— and intimate. maybe even romantic, ellie mesmerized by how beautiful you appear next to her.
she was always amazed by winter images, how the pale snow has a magical contrast to whatever object is in focus. and right now you look like an angel, one she'll be sure to draw in her journal when she gets the chance. immortalizing a nice memory while also impressing you. a win-win.
and the moment is interrupted. “there you are!”
both of your heads turn to dina, an enthusiastic smile on her face as she approaches you both. she notices ellie’s jacket on you, but unlike abby, dina doesn’t care. she had started messing with ellie well aware of her close relationship with you, actually finding it adorable how much ellie cared for you. dina thinks she’s a great friend; that’s it.
“here i am,” ellie responds, showing a tight-lipped smile. a cup is given to her from dina, the brunette then looking to you. “do you want mine?” she motions to the drink in her hands, “i would’ve brought another but—”
“oh— no, designated driver,” you inform her, dina letting out a quiet ‘oh,’ in return.
“okay, well,” dina redirects the topic, eyes drifting to ellie, “they are playing truth or dare and i want you to play with me.”
“i don’t—” “c’monnn.”
dina places her hand on the sleeve of ellie’s flannel, a gentle grip on her forearm as she attempts to pull her away. from you. ellie really doesn’t want to leave, especially to play a stupid fucking no-good game with people she barely knew, but her feet are already moving with dina.
“have fun,” you tease ellie, catching the rolling of her eyes.
then you’re lonely, again, and you despise it.
you accept the defeat of who will apologize first, pushing yourself off the wall and going inside the house. the music is turned off, a few people talking from the living room, and you scan the area hoping to see her.
you don’t— it’s her friends, a few faces you’re not too familiar with, plus ellie and dina. your eyes meet with ellie’s first, sitting on the wooden floor crisscrossed like a child. then her eyes drift behind you.
“hey.”
abby’s voice nearly makes you jump, hip brushing against yours as she stands next to you. she takes in the same sight, people giggling in a circle on the ground, while ellie williams is staring at her lap, appearing so out of place. abby snorts quietly to herself— you pay no mind to it.
“hey,” you copy, shifting out of the doorway and slipping into the kitchen, not wanting this conversation to be held in front of everyone, and ellie. she follows, somehow only now noticing the jacket that doesn’t belong to you clinging to your body. she forces herself to drop it for the time being.
“i didn’t mean to cause a fight. was stupid,” she apologizes without apologizing, folding her arms, bomber jacket tightening around her biceps. she’s right, it was stupid, so stupid you don’t even remember the exact reasoning, as it was so insignificant— a reason to just let it go.
“it’s fine, baby,” you reassure both her and subconsciously yourself, closing the gap between you two. her head is lowered, still feeling unsure about it, not looking you in the eye.
your soft hand cradled her jaw, tilting it upward, finally meeting those stormy irises of hers. they seem so distant, like you cannot look through her and understand anything she is feeling— or thinking. you can’t help but wonder if it’s due to the slowly fleeting tension, or something more. something too much to unpack in a house party.
your lip twitches, “we’re okay.”
abby accepts that, as do you.
the room over is suddenly and loudly in an uproar, abby and you sharing an exchanged look, knowing it was probably something very stupid— and probably abby’s friends. your friends.
“they’re having fun,” abby points on the obvious, a switch in her demeanor that you recognize. she’s tipsy and hungry for you.
you sigh her name when her hands find your sides, dipping her head into your neck to kiss the area. she's taking advantage of the empty kitchen, subtly walking you into the nearest counter, still devoted to the soft flesh of your throat.
you give in, shutting your eyes in bliss for a split moment, before the room over is once again in a loud fit of laughter. it’s too distracting for a make out session.
“let's just—” you gently push her away, ignoring the groan that came with it, “—join them.”
“wha—”
you pull her with you to the other room, dragging her to where ellie sits, and inserting yourselves in the game of truth or dare.
you, of course, next to her, knees nearly brushing, while abby is on the other side of you, a gap between you. the women meet eyes briefly, but leave it at that.
ellie is agitated— she feels hot, not in a good way. maybe it’s the mysterious alcohol, or maybe it’s the fact abby is by your side again. a sight she already dreads, but now, after you made it abundantly clear she had upset you, and you just move on from it. it was easy, and so hard for ellie to witness again and again and again.
dina puts her hand on her thigh, squeezing as she chuckles, bringing ellie back from her dire mind. she tries to mirror everyone else in the room, a bleak smile that doesn't make it obvious she's not enjoying her time here.
this is boring. she doesn't care about someone being dared to suck the toe of another or having to reveal some dumb secret from a truth. she cares about you— yet looking in your direction only bothers her; the girl next to you bothers her.
ellie hates this.
“earth to ellie,” her head snaps to the direction of the voice, recognizing it as one of your better friends made through abby, nora. “truth or dare?”
“i— uh,” she wants to say truth, but she means to say truth, but it doesn’t leave her lips. “d-dare.”
you’re surprised. she's surprised. ellie is often shy in settings like these, especially around your friends where she feels the need to watch everything she says and does. luckily, she's cheered on, everyone expecting her to play it safe, or in meaner terms, be a pussy.
you’re also glad ellie’s fate is in the hands of someone you trust, someone who wasn’t harsh on ellie or your friendship with her. it’s an easy dare, something that doesn’t embarrass her at all, and make her the laughing stock.
“i dare you to…” nora speaks, looking between ellie and dina, “kiss the prettiest girl in the room.”
such an easy dare, it’s almost lame, those aware of ellie and dina being a duo now, groaning to themselves.
but ellie doesn’t do anything.
she’s frozen, not even looking in dina’s direction, but rather yours. you think she’s searching your eyes for courage, but you don’t know what for. this shouldn’t be difficult. seconds are passing, everyone waiting for her to get it over with so they can continue the game.
just kiss her.
ellie can’t. she can’t break eye contact with you. and it’s not hard to understand why that is, your cheeks burning up while the rest of the room seems to go dead silent; also realizing what was playing out before them.
“i’m…i’m sorry,” she speaks hardly above a whisper, low mumblings from around her that embarrass her even more. judgement. it is possibly the worst thing she could’ve done, an awkward tension now between her and dina, and you and her. ellie wasn’t working up the courage to kiss dina in the first place. it was you.
but she wouldn’t do that— only in her head, watching the scene play out while everyone is watching her.
ellie quickly gets up, muttering something you don’t catch, and swiftly walks away. she heads to the front door, everyone’s short attention span already moving on, continuing the game. you cannot.
you stand up, a hand on yours holding you in place, preventing you from moving. you look down at abby and her pleading eyes, letting them do the talking. don’t follow her. stay.
you don’t. you retreat your hand, glancing at a distracted dina who was sipping on her drink, probably trying to ignore what ellie had just done, and you leave the living room.
you too exit the house, spotting ellie approach her truck across the street. you call her name out, the woman hardly turning her head over her shoulder, continuing to get inside the red vehicle. you understand she doesn’t want to show her face now, but she cannot hide from you. no, this has to be addressed.
even if you don’t really know what to say, or how to say it. you jog to her car, welcoming yourself inside, boring your eyes into her, while hers are on the windshield, snowflakes coating the glass.
“what was that, ellie?” you ask her, a soft tone as if you’re trying to understand her, rather than pass judgment. she’s sensitive, and she’s also shown empathy to you in times you’ve made mistakes. but that’s the problem— it wasn’t a mistake. she wanted to kiss you. there was no doubt about it.
“i’m with abby,” you continue when she stays quiet, “and you’re with—”
“no, i’m fucking not,” ellie cuts you off before her name leaves your lips, finally finding the strength to look at you. her brows are lowered, shaking her head, visibly irritated. “we aren’t— i don’t want —i want you.”
there it is. you mentally flinch at the confession, a confirmation on her feelings for you; something that cannot be undone and now will haunt you moving forward. it’s not like you can say the words back, because what you said is true. you are with abby.
your friendship with ellie is a friendship. you sigh her name, lowering your head. for some reason, ellie had hoped this moment would come and it would be different. something out of a coming-of-age film, you coming to terms with feelings she’d like to pretend you had for her. abandoning your girlfriend for her.
but you’re too sweet, and that simply is not happening.
“you...you know that i love you.”
she makes it worse. it has been said between you several times, but not like this. she means it in an entirely different, much deeper, meaning.
you don’t reply.
her brows tilt down, tears beginning to form as her body feels on fire. she’s not overcome with pure sadness, she’s frustrated. really fucking frustrated and confused and feeling alone with the feelings, wondering why you’re so calm— like you don’t care.
she thought you did, but she thinks lots of things about you. the idea that maybe, just maybe, it was mutual. you treated her like it was, you made her feel the most loved compared to everyone else in her life, because you knew the most.
the things that brought her joy, that you went out of your way to fill her life with.
a trading card from ebay. a vinyl she spoke about once. her gas station order after getting high together. the kindest things done with the purest intentions, and nothing more. she’s not ungrateful— she just doesn’t get it. she doesn’t want to.
“y-you can’t not feel something,” ellie sounds like she’s trying to convince you, stages of grief already settling inside her. denial, lots of it.
“ellie—” “you can’t.”
“i don’t,” you rush the words out, voice raising an almost unnoticeable level, but still makes ellie sink into her seat. those building tears are now free, a silent cry while she watches you, avoiding to look at her.
“i’m with abby,” you repeat, wondering why it feels like more of a reminder to yourself, than ellie. why it seems like a shield, protecting some sort of lie, or a truth. you take it further, “there was…never…anything between us…”
she talks beneath her breath, “fucking bullshit.”
“ellie.”
“you’re a liar,” ellie doesn’t care for the stern tone in which you spoke her name, a dark cloud of negative emotions hanging over her head. “she’s not fucking here and you’re trying to spare her feelings…what about me?”
you finally look at her, her glossy green eyes appearing so desperate. like you’re her life line. her heart in your hands. but you can’t give in, or give her what she’s yearning for. you cannot give yourself to ellie.
“you’re my best friend, ellie,” you say, watching whatever light leave her eyes at the comment, “and i love you…just not…”
you stop.
ellie holds her breath. a car honks in the distance. an intoxicated person shouts something inaudible. a chill from the cool wind seeps into her truck. the world is moving quickly while everything feels in slow motion for you. then she swallows thickly, “right.”
she wipes her tears, and you take off her jacket that was still on your body, holding it in your lap momentarily. your fingers trace the fabric, a small gulp before you speak in the quietest voice, “you should go…i need to get back before she gets mad.”
there’s a short, dry, scoff laugh from the girl beside you. “wouldn’t want that,” she mutters, “who would you run and cry to?”
there’s venom on her tongue that you’re not familiar with, hell, ellie doesn’t even know where it came from, biting her lip when you look at her with wide eyes; a cold stare that is equivalent to spitting in her face.
“i’m sorry—”
“i’ll tell them you were being stupid. they’ll forget about it next week.”
you had cut her off, a monotone voice that she despises. you open the car door, exiting despite ellie using your name, not wanting the night to end like this. the winter air sends chills down your spine, and yet it’s more comfortable than sharing the same space as ellie in her truck.
“y/n—”
“drive safe.”
her mouth hangs open, watching you shut the car door and walk away, no hesitation or looking back.
you return to the house, to your girlfriend, while she sits lonely in her pickup truck, not being able to turn on the engine. she can’t move. all she can do is cry; but she’s freezing and the tears feel like frost.
she wishes she had you to wipe them away, as she did for you.
#-insertcatemoji#ellie williams x reader#abby anderson x reader#the last of us fanfic#tlou fanfic#wlw fanfic#ellie x reader#abby x reader#ellie williams fanfic#abby anderson fanfic#ellie williams angst#abby anderson angst#ellie x reader x abby#ellie williams x reader x abby anderson#why are you still reading this? do you want me??
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Straight up one of the most annoying parts of the AI art conevrsation (as someone who doesn't like AI art and the financial tech bubble built around it but is frequently at odds with the "Anti-AI" side of the current AI Culture WarTM because a lot of the common arguments made against AI are built on harmful, reactionary rhethoric that I consider is dangerous to normalize to the extent it's getting normalized) is that whenever you point out why one of those common arguments is bad you get people in your notes pretending not to know what you're talking about so they can pretend that whatever you said it's a moot point because actually nobody hates AI for the reason you just responded to, the hatred of AI art has never been about that and always been about something else entirely.
Like you'll point out how the post-hoc definitions of "art" that a lot of people construct that have like five caveats and technicisms placed in there with the specific purpose of defining "AI art" as something entirely separate from "Real Art" inveitably end up accidentally placing various other forms of human-made artwork in the same "not real art" category, and that the forms of art that they end up accidentally excluding with their definition of "art" are, more often than not, forms of art that the conservative art establishment has been trying to label as "not real art" for ages, so they're validating harmful ideas about what "real art" is, and someone will come and tell you "uhm what are you talking about, isn't the whole oppostion to AI art more about all the stolen work they use without permission?"
And in another post you'll point out how the "stolen art" rhethoric has led a lot of people to adopt a previously socially stigmatized level of deification and glorification of the concepts of Copyright Law and Intellectual Property, and some people end up dreaming up and proposing changes to copyright law that would inevitably fuck them over as artists if they were applied in the way they're proposing them ("copying someone's style should be copyright infringement" et al) and then someone will come to tell you "Well it doen't really matter because no one cares about this,i thought we all hated AI art because of the environmental impact"
Like buddy you run in those circles you reblog those posts, you KNOW people are constantly saying the shit i'm responding to, you're just pretending you don't so you don't have to take the L and admit that sometimes people on your side make bad arguments.
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Stumbled upon a Reddit thread (don't ask) where people still whine and bitch about having to pick the "Nah, fucked that up too," dialogue option at the Oil fields to have a good relationship with Johnny. Saying that it needs to get fixed, calling it 'antagonizing' him, further proving that they don't understand him or his friendship with V at all. Sorry, but what's still not clicking? Holding him accountable for what he did and being honest with him is the only way you can have a good relationship with him for a reason.
It's not scolding him, it's not being mean, it's just V telling him 'No, what you did hurt me and I can't trust you anymore.' And he needs that, he needs someone who won't let him get away with the shit he does, he needs someone who is honest with him and won't just agree with everything he says so that he can grow and change. He knows he royally messed up, but he needs to hear that from V too. How do you expect V to have a true friendship with him if they just let him walk all over them and act like he did nothing wrong and everything's fine?
And it makes sense that the devs chose this as the secret ending unlocker because you can't have them storm Arasaka Tower together in full synergy when some parts of them are still at odds with each other.
Listen, I love Johnny as much as we all do here, but he needs to be called out when he messes up, and that's that.
#johnny silverhand#cyberpunk 2077#silverv#v#v cp2077#you are allowed to disagree of course#but this is not my headcanon#it's canon#another argument was that it was#not an intuitive option to pick#which i strongly disagree with#since it was the option that felt the most natural to pick#the very first time i played this game#way before i even knew about the secret ending#or how it affected their relationship#so all of those are really shit arguments#that thread annoyed me#sorry for any typos it's almost 4am where i am
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Before I go to sleep I leave you all with this piece of advice: sometimes you don't actually have to answer big political questions, sometimes you can just say "I am not smart enough to know that, I just know the small things I do to help." Like you can often times completely avoid making a fool of yourself if you just say you don't know.
#simon says#to explain here and not in a reblog:#sometimes when you try to explain big picture solutions you're gonna sound dumb#you might not have done enough research#you might not have a rebuttal to a counter argument#you might not be articulate enough to explain why you think this#sometimes you gotta take a step back and give the simple solution. the one man solution#you do what you can to fight against the problem#you talk to people to help spread awareness and how to fight the bad problem#and you vote and invite others to vote for bigger steps towards solving the problem#like you can talk about theory and how you believe we need to do a huge drastic thing to solve and issue#but people will disagree and argue til you're blue in the face#they'll poke and prod until you mess up or lose your temper and use it against you#and you'll feel dumb and they'll learn nothing#sometimes the best thing to do is step away from the big picture and just say 'idk what the solution is I just know the things I can do“#sometimes you gotta admit you're not a scientist/expert and you can't answer that#i used this while talking with my Dad tonight#he brought up our climate crisis and space travel as a possible solution#and I said I think that's just addressing the symptom and not the cause and we need to care for our Earth now#and he asked me what solutions I think would fix it#and knowing my incredibly smart Dad who is articulate and ready to throw rebuttles at a moments notice to play devils advocate#and my past experience in struggling in this topic with him before#i just told him I didn't know. all i knew is the little things I can and do do to help#and that hopefully by spreading the word and habits and encouraging others to vote for those bigger solutions I could help make a change#but all I really could do is the little things I have control over#and the topic became much less stressful about the little things we have control over#like planting native plants and recycling and adopting habits that are healthier to our planet#which was 100% more preferable to if I tried to give a big solution. because I would reveal i didn't have all the knowledge needed to argue#and my articulation would make me sound like a stupid kid who only thinks they know what's best#so yeah I basically suggest that if you dont wanna feel like shit after debating someone just step away from the big picture for a moment
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Y'know this little throwaway gag is so bizarre to me and I know this game is a bit very different to 2 and 3 but look at Matt's reaction when Jack raids the place in 3:
You'd argue he's simply stopping Jack bc he hates this guy and he also hates this job which Could Be True but i highly doubt bc overall despite his virginity and overall cursed vibe, Matt seems to be a good employee, by all means (I mean, Peter literally gave him a vacation instead of firing him in 2, so that says a lot).
Plus, Dave hates this guy as much as he hates him! He literally always calls him creepy and, AND!
This is the only footage you get of the prize corner in 2. Which is also the first game to show Matt and Dave's disdain for one another, Dave being likely more scared of Matt than Matt will ever be of him.
Which is all very curious. 2 does set a drastic change for Matt too with him going from being just strange to outright creepy, so was the old pizza place closing something that actually affected him or was he consistently that creepy all along? And if the later, did he just start hating Dave after that or did they always have beef and they simply had some sort of arrangement (or even higher word from Steven who tended to let Dave do whatever he wanted in general) that let him do so?
#luly talks#dsaf#matt virginia#matthew virginia#<- using both tags bc i didnt realize some call him matthew. ya se los dije el es matias para mi...#dsaf matt#dsaf dave#dave miller#anyway yeah i kinda went from just writing this as a haha silly thing i noticed to wait this is actually kind of bizarre to not mean anythi#cant tell which theory works best imo like the idea of matt being genuinely upset at the old place being destroyed is kinda cool#but also steven just being like a neglectful parent and using his manager power to let dave steal is So fucking funny to me#i will make a post about dave and steven later my sugar is low rn i need food before i die#but they're soooo silly too#also did you guys know i never realized 1 and 2 were just a few months apart from each other? this is because im a very stupid man#you might see me all analytical and shit and go woah luly is so smart i cant read. i cant hold information to save my life either#im an utter and complete dumbass#amen.#also another fun fact both these screenshots were taken from my evil routes which was a coincidence really#well except for 1 that is a non route#but those other two those are matpat baby#also yeah couldnt be bothered to get screenshots for dave and matt's argument KNJHJNGM JN
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#oc#haven#rex#monochrome#contents: a little raunchy for tumblr#doodle#really high effort one but it's about the shapes more than anything else lol#meme redraw#comic#i may color this. the original plan was to color it. however i spent all my energy for coloring on drawing an aftermath coda#im fond of this one. there's a lot happening in it#haven and rex are both dressed "up'' to annoy the other's plus-one minor enemy#<- specific au element#rex is wearing a weezer shirt because haven knows that'll piss off taran. haven is dressed up like rex's best attempt at a mid-00s surfer#because he knows felyx cant fucking stand haven and is also into buff masc dudes dressed in jeans with rhinestones and thinks it'll be funn#to put felyx in the Lustful Colander#(he is right)#haven's house is not actually a cool neat influencer home or whatever there's no like open floorplan white walls light bamboo floor bullshi#going on here. it's all like green and red granite tile and shit. the man has been around for a very long time he knows what kind of decor#he's fond of. those ARE fish tanks in the walls though. and a spiral staircase#the man has been around for a very long time. he does not give a shit if what he likes is 'tacky'#also when the one speechbubble he says gets weird it is because he is using a magic power and forcing rex to put his cigarette out. rex is#naturally kind of annoyed about this. it used to make haven wince when he put his cigs out on his hands so he keeps doing it every time thi#happens but he has not yet cottoned on to the fact that haven has fully stopped wincing and now just thinks it's a normal habit he has#and has no idea that it's specifically aimed in his direction#also haven has no issue with giving head but rex isn't aware of that. they don't communicate well#and what Rex is actually aware of mostly consists of 'asking him to bottom turned into a giant argument and then a physical actual fight#and he broke my jaw in like four places over it and it was awesome but i didnt get what i wanted' and kind of gave up on the subject#he couldve been getting his d!ck sucked this whole time and he didnt know it. so sad#lineart
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someone on here will literally say "encouraging plastic surgery for the sole purpose of conforming to eurocentric beauty standards isn't actually feminism" and 200 other people will come out of the woodworks and chant in harmony LET WOMEN BE HAPPY and WHAT ABOUT TRANS PEOPLE AND BURN VICTIMS as if the post wasn't clearly 1. about womens' self image & insecurities being strongly influenced by the richest and whitest of society and 2. not about trans people or burn victims at all
#ive thought about it a lot and i know the main argument is that it's bodily autonomy and also having it more widely available makes it#easier for the people who really do need it to get it#but like. first of all the industry (and it is an industry) spends SO much money convincing women their bodies look wrong#if it wasnt advertised everywhere and if the expectation wasnt there to look 'perfect' according to the most recent trends#the amount of women getting elective plastic surgery would be drastically lower#second of all. yeah having more surgeons out there means more experience and safer treatments for those who really need it..#as long as they have the money#and for trans people as long as they have money and/or good insurance and/or all the required medical documentation and/or therapy#and at the end of the day you can criticize just part of something but not all of it. i feel like a lot of people forget that when they#start saying shit online. just stop and think and dont interact with people assuming the worst of them!!#when i criticize the beauty industry im never calling any woman who's ever worn makeup or gotten a facelift evil it's an INDUSTRY#it's systemic!!!#almost reminds me of how criticizing the patriarchy and systemic misogyny as a lesbian will get u painted as some man hating terf#i love men! i dont blame individual men for the system we're all a part of i just criticize its existence and try to work to dismantle it#and i know complaining on the internet is like a little raindrop in the ocean but still. it needs to be discussed i think
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as a bona fide vaxleth lover i am more confused than ever about how they are portrayed on the animated series i'm not gonna lie 😭
#not that different is bad like it doesn't affect or 'ruin' the actual source material#i just legitimately do not understand some of their choices here#there's stuff i really like ofc but u know. i've written multiple long analyses about conflict in their relationship#and in previous seasons it seemed to me like they were just smoothing out those sharp edges which bummed me out ngl#(for one there was a line at the end of s1 where kiki directly contradicted her campaign self in favor of No Conflict that i was feeling#unsatisfied with. and s2 didn't contend with rq as a sticking point for keyleth really at all)#and like to be honest my distaste for that is biased by like fandom drama of years past and people shitting on them for that exact stuff#so for me it kinda felt like an updated and palatable version that appealed to the group of people that made me feel bad for liking them#which is again like a strong personal bias lol but u know it also is just. a really important story to me that i love#but this season it's like they went no no. they do actually need to fight that was a big thing. hmmmm what about#AH YES. let's reverse their povs about their relationship completely.#have not finished ep3 yet but 10 min in i'm just like HUH?#again this doesn't rly matter and the show remains an enjoyable adaptation it's just truly bizzare to me 😭 how did this choice get made#it speaks#lovm spoilers#sorry I'm not done yet actually because the specific conflict about happiness in the present being or not being worth sorrow later#is the VERY CORE OF BOTH OF THOSE CHARACTERS and to switch which one feels which is way more than weird for the romance it's weird for like#what each of their whole individual deal is. that's why i'm so ??????????????#gah. i truly don't want to complain too badly#(and tbh the eps simply don't have enough runtime for vax to be as completely-falling-apart as he actually was and the role of#depression and trauma and self-loathing in that vs like. a more easily telegraphed supernatural boogeyman#-which if they slowed the pace down more might fit in but the scale of the story is so grand that they can't so like i begrudingly get it.#but still absolutely wild for the solution to be: do away with their actual arguments about divinity or keyleth's insecurity about#outliving all of vox machina. oh btw we are giving the vision she had of that to vax as a gift from rq or whatever#so he can be inscure about it instead. because he's fate touched or smthn. and that's too abstract for us to explore here so let's just#give him ominous visions.)#the more i have typed the saltier i have gotten i'm sorry it's just WILD TO MEEEE
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Your impulse to believe every last bad thing people say about a guy and then if that guy is victimized by those people or the people who spread the rumors you dont even try to look into if thats even the case, you just assume hes bad by default-- yeah thats incredibly unfair to guys who are victims of abuse.
#so here i am having to heal my trauma on my own bc people think im a bad person. cool.#and then people would use me as an argument point 'this is why men who use guys who are victims of abuse as an argument need#to actually do something to show they care' she said so smugly. knowing those guys wont give that guy any care no matter how#correct she is about sussing them out on their bullshit.#so instead im being given 0 options at all bc both men and women want to use me as an argument jumping off point rather than see#me as a real human right here right now whos suffering and in need of aid.#you're arguing about giving me a place to stay right in front of me. and at the end of the day neither of you actually want to help#create a space for me to heal anyways. im just another talking point to you. left in the dust. left to try to figure out how to heal#myself alone all over again. something I never expected to have to do in feminist spaces- spaces I intentionally entered to get healing#about ANOTHER abuse that happened to be as a kid- though if im honest I never really found healing in such spaces its all kinda just#hating on men for the most part- so truly like the rest of my entire shit life i've had to learn how to heal my trauma all alone. which isn#great nor ideal since on my own im bound to pick up worse coping mechanisms than if I actually got help from others. and lord knows#I have *motions to the scars on my arms* but yknow you'd rather use me as a talking point rather than be what I thought you were-#the last resort I had to maybe actually finally get some actual fucking help with my trauma.#vent#to say im disappointed is an understatement. i'm more just sad at this point. i'm tired of being promised better and then its shit.
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I know being like “communism is religious” is an extremely annoying thing to say but I’m reading a book called red demiurge which is about the legal history of the soviet union and honestly that title is not hyperbole
#red demiurge#only getting like 60% of it bc I don’t know that much about soviet history or law#or really anything . but like I’m reading about them moving an entire industrial plant#like physically disassembling it and moving it along with all the labourers#as well as equipment resources etc#bc of the german invasion#like they can’t afford to lose the factory so they just. move it lol#and like honestly just reading about it does evoke a sense of like#this is very close to a divine act you know#I know political theology is like contentious and I’m not fully familiar with all of those arguments#but like I am sometimes persuaded by the general concept#the state is the closest you get to like divine acts of god#aside from natural disasters and shit#to rhetorically capture the power of the state you sort of end up just talking about god#anyway sorry I’m being insane I’m high rn I think I’m gonna go play animal crossing#please don’t be weird in my notes abt this thank u <3
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What is the flavor of fear?
Sublime, my Brother.
(Alternate version under the cut)
#murder cult almost got wiped out. but we stay silly :3#no hes not bald. yes he has hair. i was just too lazy to draw it#anyways. new art experiment featuring my altmeri listener called lynwalynn from my second skyrim playthrough#(no i havent finished playing it lol)#he and his twin sister used to be part of dark brotherhood in cyrodiil before the unrest. fled the country. got separated#lynn did some crazy sidequesting and became the archmage of winterhold. got bored so he joined the thieves guild. became a nigthingale#banged brynjolf. got into an argument w him and had a messy breakup. left the guild bc things got really awkward w bryn#eventually re-joined the dark brotherhood and became the listener. and now hes just chilling and doing illegal shit w cicero by his side :)#he and his sister (named baltana; my first skyrim babygirl) accidentally reunite and catch up. he discovers that his sister also#did some crazy sidequesting on her own and that shes the dragonborn the vampireslayer of dawnguard and used to be the harbinger#of companions (but left bc she fucking hated their racist nordic supremacy bullshit)#yes he is fucked up yes hes almost like any other listener you can find on ao3 i dont care#i made a self-sacrificing almighty hero on my first playthrough and thought it was bland as fuck so i just said#yknow what. how about i made the wettest most pathetic nasty fucked up guy instead. AND they split the titles bc theres no way only#one person can do all of those things. like i get it but i think its just. boring if you're the all-powerful big strong good guy#skyrim tes#the elder scrolls#dark brotherhood#artists on tumblr#digital art#my art#long tags#oc: lynwallyn
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I write a lot to deal with my emotions and to process (right now I am processing a lot of anger, still). I don't share a lot of it, but I did write something to post on fetlife yesterday having to do with my friend, Remy's, death. The circles of people I have over there have no real context or frame of reference for any of it though. Since I'm still vaguely furry-adjacent, I figured maybe people (all like.. five of you) would get more mileage out of it here, so I'm crossposting it.
This is a small tidbit of furry history. Before you fly off the handle and send me anon hate, please take a minute to read all of this through. Plus think about what type of person would absolutely fucking loathe both queer people involved in WWII reenacting, and queer people dressing in uniform to do weird kink shit. (it's supposed to be fascists that idealize the era, they would have an aneurysm, but this is a trick question because apparently everybody loathes it)
Anyway. Pushing the Feldpost Envelope (furries and nazis and death in here.)
"History lesson.
I'm at the third year of my home furcon in 2005, attending opening ceremonies, wearing my officer's cap. All day, I've been nervously eyeing someone also in an officer's cap, albeit a different branch, worried that they're either going to be confrontational, or that they're a bad actor and a bigot. We'd unknowingly run in the same circles for a couple years now, but had yet to cross paths in any significant way until today.
"I like your hat" he smiled and piped up after the ceremonies were over. I, a very anxious sixteen year old girl at the time, had a flood of relief wash over me now that the ice had been broken and he didn't seem like a total asshole (joke's on me, Remy was still an asshole, just usually the good kind). "I like yours too..!" I chimed back. And the rest was history. "Living history", actually.
A couple months prior, Remy had created the Nazi Furs community, which I wound up co-running and co-moderating. The goal was to create a space for people with a genuine interest in history and reenacting (which despite the name wasn't limited to the German side of things) and/or for those who get their rocks off in uniform, a little more tucked away from early 2000s internet shock value, and most importantly protected from actual racists, bigots, and all around pieces of shit (which took a hell of a lot of work). Furries tend to cover the whole gamut of kink, and while Remy and I both leaned further towards the leather subculture, we tried to make space for all of the spectrum as long as it was related to that specific time period in some way.
We were not a popular or well liked group. But we were a necessary group. This is the south, if you weren't a cishet good ol boy, it was frankly just not safe to venture into any reenacting groups around here at the time. So, we made our own space for it, to be gay and weird and ourselves while we ran around in the woods. Even in kink, we tried to push the envelope for what was "acceptable" in the eyes of larger communities and carve out a little trench for ourselves, because often in the most accepting places, people would still take issue (and still do). We did our best to push back against people feeling closeted or ashamed for what they were interested in, kink or not. Don't be a shitty person is all we asked. We were young and we stumbled a lot, but we tried our best.
Ultimately, with the shifting perspectives in the fandom, in kink, and in general with online spaces being cleansed to be more palatable and marketable, we lost the fight. Part of it came from the evolving political environment in the US, it did become impossibly hard to weed out bad actors, and not be seen/assumed as a bad actor yourself. But part of it is from lingering social norms on what is "okay" and "acceptable" (even in alternative subcultures), instead of remembering that some interests can be solely academic and not a reflection of your own personal world views. Bleeding over to kink, it's exactly the same, and some people have forgotten that kink should be weird and ugly and not acceptable, it should challenge your emotions and perspective sometimes. It is the opposite of social norms, it's not meant to be sanitized and diluted down for the masses to consume. It's meant for you, and your self expression, self exploration, and your kameraden who share that with you.
Remy died on January 26th. He was one of my very best friends, and there are not many people left on this planet who know me like he did. I rushed to clean his house of things his mother did not want, or need, to see, because I was the only one left to do so. He is survived by communities that did not want him and refuse to see the work he put in for people to have a place they felt accepted.
I have no place in community anymore. But if anyone reading this feels ostracized for their interests or kinks, I feel the same so deeply inside me that it hurts my soul. You shouldn't have to feel that way. I do not have it in me anymore to try and create a space like Remy and I worked on in the past, but do know that you're not alone. I'll be here. I'm still here somehow."
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I would also like to add this summarized post that Remy made to the original group, the last post in the group, in 2017.
"In the wake of recent social unrest, we would like to take a moment to make a statement regarding this community.
Nazi_Furs was created by a bunch of nerds. Yes, you read correctly. A bunch of big old nerdy nerds started nazi_furs to post stories, art, historical articles, images from WWII museums, reenacting and living history events, and sometimes little animated gifs of dancing hitlers that we thought were funny.
Most of our members were card carrying homosexuals. Almost all of our moderators were gay, trans, or some other color of "unacceptable" to ACTUAL NEO-NAZIS.
Many of us have well researched and thought out fursonas that inhabit a world set during WWII era Germany. The setting used in many movies like Bed-knobs and Broomsticks, Indiana Jones, Iron Sky, and Dead Snow lends itself well to fantasy. Setting talking animal people into this backdrop did not seem like such a huge clusterfuck at the time.
Nazis are a cliche', relegated to "the bad guys" in popular culture. The sharp uniforms, advanced military weapons and tactics, crackpot schemes, and paranormal ties are used all the time in modern media. They are a caricature of what they were 70+ years ago, much like ninjas (paid assassins) and pirates (murderers and thieves) are today. Once you have been relegated to a children's Halloween costume you no longer have the influence to command respect or fear.
Let us allow nazis to be just that, a cliche condemned to be the "bumbling bad guys". Let us laugh at them and rob them of any authority they feel they may have. There haven't been any "REAL" nazis since the downfall of the NSDAP in 1945, and any members of that movement would be pushing 90 by now.
The "alt-right" are not nazi_furs. They are hateful individuals putting on costumes pretending to be like people they do not understand who have been dead for years. These people WANT you to associate them with nazis, and calling them that only feeds their egos. Lets try not to do that.
If you take anything away from our group, let it be a reminder of our origins as nerdy nerds pouring over history books, saturating ourselves in history to better understand what happened in the 1930s and 40s. Take a look at our current situation we find ourselves in and ask yourselves if we are all doomed to repeat our past mistakes. Then focus your rage and disapproval in a productive manner. Get out there and vote the real racist out of office. Mobilize in peaceful protest, advocate for the oppressed and downtrodden. Make the world a better place than you found it."
I stepped away from the fandom when my home convention, RCFM, ended after a decade. I had been run into the ground, my wallet taken advantage of entirely too much, and I was burnt out beyond belief. Remy stayed more up to date on fandom things, I know there were issues with other "nazi" groups popping up that were inundated with the alt-right. There was no avoiding getting lumped in with them, so we eventually just enjoyed our interests in silence, away from everyone else.
To be completely honest, the majority of our time was spent in museums and hunting down weirdly specific esoteric research topics, which we'd then attempt to discuss while drunk around a fire (this is the academic way). It wasn't to idolize these people or politics, it was to understand an extremely complicated time period and what was born out of it. There are SO MANY absolutely fascinating aspects to study, not just "woo big scary gun death ubermench". What people saw most though, convention-wise at least, were the room parties where we could let our hair down and be WEIRD. Furcon room parties are fucking weird just as a baseline, throw some uniforms and sadomasochism in, sometimes some LSD, and... I mean yeah. And of course that's all that stuck in anybody's mind. Though, tbh, a lot of the time for the majority of the night, it was just a small circle of friends watching war movies and drinking. We came up with this (not) great idea to take a shot every time there was a depth charge in Das Boot, yeah I can't recommend that lmao.
Even from the reenacting standpoint, Remy was putting together a US medic impression (not even German! *clutches pearls*) over the past few years, because he was an EMT by trade. I've always reenacted a very inept Wehrmacht artillery officer who is a touch cowardly, not great at their job, and is usually relegated to office/paperwork. It's far from the edgy internet shock value people associated us with.
Nowadays I am usually running around in the woods alone, or getting the shit kicked out of me in uniform (consensually). I'm just less visible about it. I wish I didn't have to be. It feels very lonely, extremely so now that I've lost Remy. I think there was a good opportunity somewhere in there to push back against the alt-right by being very VERY gay and trans and queer and weird in uniform, destroy the image they were trying to create for themselves, but the current culture of the internet wouldn't have allowed that. I'm still going to keep doing that, just.. y'know, in my own space, on my own time.
I hope other people are out there being weird too. I'll be weird with you in spirit.
#text#I'm not going to be entertaining bad faith arguments on any of this fwiw#I'm happy to talk and reminisce on those years in the fandom and all the stuff we got up to#but I don't have the time or energy for people being shitty#I really just want to get shit out of my head to help me mourn#that's what a lot of this is#I'm mourning both the loss of one of my best friends and the loss of the space we tried to make for 'undesirable' kink#it really feels like all the work and struggle and effort put in by so many people over the past twenty years not just for that kink aspect#but for kink and queer spaces in general is just fucking GONE. like it was for nothing.#I don't really know where to go from here#I'm definitely struggling with that#anyway that's enough rambling for right now I think
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Reading this review of fallout that essentially says they think it’s “just okay” but not great, seeming to attribute its success mainly due to being an adaptation of a beloved game. As someone who never played before watching and thought it was a great tv show (not just a great adaptation since I had no basis for comparison), obvs I disagree. And they really had no clear basis for why they think it’s not that great and more that they just don’t get the hype. Like they enjoyed it, they want more of it, etc. but interestingly they did say they hope it’s success makes them improve not approach s2 with a “if it aint broke don’t fix it” mindset, and that I can agree with. But tbh I think this speaks to a larger problem with tv at all and not just fallout….
#.ooc ( dani is an asshole )#I have so many thoughts on how tv shows suck so much recently or have like one good season and then it goes to shit#and I think it’s to do with the fact that shows just aren’t given enough room to grow#they have to be good immediately or they get pulled#which is why we get a really great s1 of a show#they have to sell one really good story#so they do#and then it gets renewed for a second season bc it did well but the story they wrote is finished#so when they have to do more it’s crap bc they pulled some shit out of their asses#bc they didn’t want to risk a longer/better story in case they never got the chance to finish it#I think fallout is in a fortunate position to have the universe of fallout giving it the room to end on a cliffhanger like it did#there’s enough story in the universe and lore in existence to build upon that gives it a fighting chance#and a gamble worth making#and so far it’s working and I hope it continues#but as far as this review thinking it has too many Easter eggs and lore drops#and not enough story I just flat out disagree since I missed all of those details anyway lol#but also I think that was part of their gamble#load it up with stuff for fans of the games to be pleased that it’s true to the games#and then perhaps in later seasons it can ease up on the obvious easter eggy moments and focus on the story and characters#now that they’ve gotten the ppl likely to be their toughest critics to bite#nobody is harsher on adaptations/remakes than fans of the original#and I have heard many fans of the games say the show is the best fallout material out there#better than the games#anyway lmfao it wasn’t like the review was wrong but like?? they didn’t exactly make a great argument or anything about what’s wrong#more that they’re worried it won’t get better which is???#fair but not exactly#how the article was framed ig
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interrupting non-rgg posting with non-rgg posting do you guys wanna look over my pros-vs-cons list of grocery shopping today thanks
#not rgg#snap chats#i didnt do the full shopping yesterday cause it was late by the time i got to go out and near all the shops were closing OOPS#my bestie asleep so i cant ask her :( this also feel like a dumbass question anyway so it my turn to ask everyone a question <3#anyway review the list with me. ok.#cause the pros of going is that I Get Tasty Food. And Probably More Shit I Didn't Need#i get to buy snacks for my class tomorrow#im wearing a nice outfit :) and that means i get to walk around and wear it more. no one'll comment on it but i'll be happy wearing it#cons: i was JUST at ebisu yesterday and HUUUGE doubt i'll be remembered by the cashier#but the cameras will remember me....#i should finish up the last two comms i have (though counter argument is that i can finish those when i get home)#i finished one this morning so i dont feel too guilty bout not getting work done#yeah thats. thats really it. 🧍♂️#like i really cant think of another con 🧍♂️ AND YOUD THINK THAT'S GREENLIGHTS THEN BUT....#cause im tihnking of grocery shopping today but it feels weird to do it on a thursday#But Today's Also PROBABLY The Best Day To Do It#anyway if everyone may indulge me being a dummy just this once. thanks <3#im gonna work on one of those remaining comms for like an hour. or until i finish the lineart. so like twenty minutes ☠️#and ill see how i feel then#sorry im obsessed with going to the city over i love walking and walking into shops and being alive
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