#so all I'm saying is no judgement and no saying you specifically have a problem

[nobodyfamousposts]

Scarlet Lady Top 10 Favorite Characters: Number 10

For @zoe-oneesama

Okay, I realized as I was writing these that there is way way WAY too much to each of these and why to be able to put them all into one post, so I'm breaking them down into individual essays focusing on each one to keep them palatable.

So without further ado....

Number 10: EVERYONE

Yeah, I know it may be cheating but at this point it was the only choice I could make.

I came to regret making this list, specifically because I couldn’t seem to make up my mind as far as who all would be on it. I reread the entire series. I kept switching people in and out as I was reminded of characters or scenes I loved. And I came to a realization that there is no character in the whole of this series I didn’t enjoy to some extent that they didn't deserve some love in this list and I kind of wish I could have added all of them just to give them all some spotlight.

Yes, it is partly because everyone is vastly improved compared to Canon. But as I reread the series, it came to mind that if Canon didn’t exist and I didn’t have the comparison between the characters, I still very much would have loved this series and everyone in it.

Cause and Effect Exist

It's important to have a setting in which the characters and their actions make sense for the world they live in. When the setting is supposed to be modern day earth, we need the people to be able to show that they are capable of surviving in it on a day to day basis without being so massively incompetent that they would do something like accidentally ingesting poison. Or forgetting how to breathe.

I would think it would be obvious, but sometimes Canon makes me wonder. Which is never a good look for a show that is supposed to have some level of seriousness and involve superheroes.

Here’s the thing Canon can’t seem to get: when a majority of the things that go wrong in a plot are because of everyone having to be stupid to make the plot work, you have a problem with the writing. Changing the material in a story so that younger people can enjoy it does NOT mean dumbing down the characters and throwing in arbitrary lessons with no real reason to them. Even if the show itself is geared towards kids, you can’t treat the audience like they’re stupid.

In Scarlet Lady, the people aren’t stupid.

Silly, yes. Wrong, often. Overdramatic, definitely. But while they may make stupid choices sometimes, they aren’t so dumb that anyone should have concerns about their ability to function at a higher level than an overcaffinated 2 year old.

They’re fooled initially the way many of us would be with a biased story that hits the news first. Oblivious to the problems in a situation that they logically wouldn’t have much direct insight into. Prone to making mistakes and incorrect judgement the way that anyone would. That's normal. That's expected.

But they’re not so incapable as to forget things that happen right in front of them between one day and the next. Or even between one scene and the next.

Things carry over. We see cause and effect. We see consequences—bad and good. And those consequences extend not only for the episode or season but for the entire series.

Aurore KNOWs Alec cheated her before and maintains a tight control over him and prevents more of his antics.

Adrien and Alya maintain a cold attitude towards Lila for some time after her reveal as a liar. And it even remains a point against her as used by Chloe as herself and as Scar to discount what she says.

The boys of the class remember Adrien’s “love letter to Marigold” and try to win him her merch because they’re bros like that. 

Adrien himself remembers the instances of his dad being a massive prick and instead of being surprised and “sad boi uwuwu” each time it happens like it’s supposed to be a surprise that the massive prick would choose to be a prick, he very clearly moves through the stages of grief to the point of a sort of acceptance that involves planning around and even for him.

Gabriel’s horrible parenting and general lack of concern for Adrien or his wellbeing as he ends up a casualty of various akuma attacks was played off for laughs when such incidents occurred. Then they were brutally called out against him in the Finale as a way to counter his claims of doing everything for Adrien’s sake. And the big reveal of the Birthday Scarf…utilized in the last way anyone would have wanted.

And Chloe is perhaps the biggest example as her antics ARE NOT forgotten or ignored by anyone. The classmates still interact with Chloe and are relatively nice to her, but they don’t just forget that she’s treated them horribly. They don’t act surprised when she does anything horrible. Nor does anyone just laugh it off or excuse it as “just who she is”. We see follow up to her behavior—the class fully expecting her to cause trouble and actively try to plan around it. People calling her out on past behaviors. And even bigger consequences as time goes on. Such as Adrien breaking off the friendship. And a blink and you miss it fridge logic moment in Ikari Gozen when you realize that when they said she was banned from all future Gabriel-involved competitions, they meant it.

The fact that by the time the big reveal happened that Chloe was Scarlet Lady, no one was shocked.

Story-wise, this is showing the passage of time and the effect the events of the story are having. It’s showing that there is lasting impact and that what happens to the characters matters.

Meta-wise, this is Zoe rewarding us for paying attention.

Continuity exists in Scarlet Lady. Time exists. The people exist. When anyone does anything, you get the sense that they aren’t operating in a vacuum. The things they do matter. There are consequences. There is an impact. And if there is an impact in the story, there will be an impact on the audience.

Which leads to…

Character Depth/Character Growth

Usually in TV shows of this nature, if there ARE character arcs for the side characters, they only occur over the course of a single episode devoted to focusing on them before moving on elsewhere. 

Canon didn’t give us that much at all in favor of having every episode that should focus on other characters learning and growing instead forcing Marinette to be wrong in some way and learn an arbitrary lesson that often would have better served for someone else.

In Scarlet Lady, the arcs we get are impressive for all that they’re relatively unobtrusive. They aren’t big. They aren’t world-ending. And the thing is, most change in life isn’t. It can just FEEL that way.

Like the way it felt for Kim when he first found out Ondine liked him and then had his confession to her screwed up.

And the way it felt for Kagami when she lost that first match against Adrien.

Then there’s the way it felt for Chloe when she was dismissed by her mother, had her popularity go downhill, and ended up losing her Miraculous.

…or the way it felt for Adrien when he discovered his dad was Hawk Moth.

The reactions we witness are in a great part due to actions outside of the characters’ control, but are ultimately a result of the experiences they have had and the ways they have changed as a result.

The question becomes: are the characters that we meet at the beginning pretty much identical to how they are at the end? Is the world?

The answer in Scarlet Lady is no.

Whether because the characters themselves change or our perception of them does, we can see that they have all undergone some sort of events that create a difference between the start and end points.

Not all of them HAVE to undergo some big emotional arc. Not all of them NEED to. But the characters still mostly go through some sort of growth by the end that I feel make them stronger and healthier people.

You’ve got the big life-altering changes like Lila and Sabrina.

You’ve got the little changes like Nino and Ivan.

You’ve even got the most minuscule, beginning stages of change in Chloe.

You’ve got growth that creates such perfect setup with Mylene when she starts off scared and traumatized by how things went with Stoneheart then is the one who confronts him in the end. And the parallel between the finale and the beginning when she returns him to normal by kissing him just like they did in that first episode to change him back then, too! (Just….GOD, I CANNOT GET OVER THIS!)

You’ve got them reaching out and making friends and relating to people they hadn’t before.

And by the end of it all, we get characters who feel like people rather than props.

They don’t all have to change. They don’t necessarily need to go through an entire emotional arc and back again. They just need to be part of the world they’re in.

Nino doesn’t just pop into existence when Adrien or Alya need someone to interact with. Kagami isn’t just a non-horrible or non-evil love rival for Adrien or a stepping stool for him to “practice“ at being in a relationship before it’s time for him to try the “real thing” with his endgame pairing. Luka isn’t just a decent guy who is the only actual form of support for the female lead and yet only lacking that precious “male lead” title or all around just not “Adrien enough” to fill the role.

Adrien isn’t just a “sad boy” meant to be a main love interest, Villain’s Morality Pet, and the one everyone idolizes and chases after just cuz he’s the male lead and that’s how you show he’s desirable I guess. Marinette isn’t the atlas keeping the story alive because no one else is apparently capable of learning lessons and changing, or even just the bare basics of functioning as individuals. Chloe isn’t just there to be horrible for no reason and get away with it so she can continue to be horrible until the writers suddenly need her to be sympathetic.

And the rest of the classmates aren’t just some Greek chorus there to fill the background.

We see them interact. We see them making jokes or jabs. We see them even…*gasp* having different opinions!

And on something as major and life-controlling as feelings about the “Hero of the City” no less! Why, that’s the sort of thing that would break up friendships and determine who you can sit next to at the cafeteria! The horror! The scandal!

And…oh hey. This puts the characters in different groups. It links them with characters other their Canonically designated pairings and groups. This lets them disagree on things and not need to vilify any of them. This creates implications that add depth to the story and to the people in it.

The characters can disagree without being enemies. They can be wrong without having to be evil. They can make mistakes without having to be stupid. And they can change and grow—both for better and worse.

And we see both and in different ways. SO many different ways.

Adrien goes from excited and impulsive to buckling under the forced responsibility and weight of a partner who hinders more than she helps.

Lila goes from selfishly bad and self-serving to selfish but friendly with better direction of her talents in a less self-serving way.

And Chloe just goes from selfish and bad to selfish and worse..

I mean, it says something that the combination of Lila’s growth and Chloe’s fall from grace resulted in Hawk Moth being unable to use Lila as a tool for his Heroes Day plot like he originally intended.

The key is that whether they necessarily grow or become better people, these characters are still IMPACTED by the events around them and AFFECTED as a natural result of the world they live in. 

You can’t help but feel for them in some way as a result. It’s part of why I love them.

The other part of why I love them is a bit more epic though…

Crowning Moments of Awesome

If there’s one thing I love, it’s seeing characters be awesome. I love it when characters get to be awesome. I would love to see more of it. Especially when the ones involved are characters you wouldn’t normally expect or get to see have a chance to shine.

And it’s when you see these characters be awesome that you really get the sense that yes, this character would work as a hero.

Seeing Max help against Robustus. Seeing Kim help against Odine. Alix stepping in during Pharaoh, calling out her brother’s fan fiction, and helping the heroes escape the security system at the Lourve. Alya stepping in during Copycat to clue Chat in to what’s going on and later keeping Anansi distracted to keep her away from Chat while he’s trapped. Rose kicking Nightmare!Chat in the face to defend Marinette even when she’s on the run from her own nightmares in Sandboy. Luka leading groups twice to stepping in and helping the heroes deal with akumas. Nathaniel standing up for Marinette and Sabrina when they’re accused in Rogercop and then helping the heroes in Reverser.

These little moments of support make such a big different and really make it make sense that the heroes would trust these people with magical jewelry to help them in battle.

And the little moments of characters being petty or strong or smart or turning the tables or just showing off what they’re capable of. Even without superpowers.

Adrien getting petty revenge for Nino and finding a tactic to counter Gabriel in the future.

The Police Force in Rogercop just saying “Nope” to obeying an obvious akuma. 

Zoe manipulating akumas twice to help the heroes. Her two Reasons You Suck Speeches to her mom and Bustier.

Every instance of payback that Tikki gets against Chloe.

Everyone in the Finale. Just…EVERYONE in the Finale. The characters who manage to avoid akumatization by either spotting the flaws in the illusion or refusing to give in to fear and even protecting others. Nora smacking any akuma that enters the home. Claudie pulling off Power Mom and ordering Max to stop attacking the city then helping to calm him down. Prince Ali and Juleka freeing Rose by kissing her! Chris, Ella, Etta, and Manon saving Mylene! Mylene saving Ivan with a kiss in a direct callback to how they first got together in Stoneheart! (Yes, I am still stuck on that!) Ondine saving Kim! Lila and Sabrina saving Alix! Luka facing Riposte alone and unarmed and then Kitty Section saving Kagami! ALL of the Heroes making a final comeback to help take down Hawk Moth for good! Just—AAAAAH!

How could Miraculous have peaked with this in Season 2 when this is Grand Finale material? Because there are few things more awesome than getting to see ALL the characters the heroes met and befriended and helped throughout the course of the story stepping up at the final battle to help take the Big Bad down!

Like…can we just take a moment to appreciate how everyone gets a chance to stand out in some way? Not all of them necessarily good, exactly (looking at you Andre). But still stand out and be memorable. Even characters who didn’t originally get much focus. Especially characters who were originally functioning as cardboard cutouts to fill a scene.

Anyone remember Aurore? How for the FIRST akuma in the pilot of the series and one who is quite frankly the most interesting and noteworthy, we don’t really get to see her again except in the background.

In Scarlet Lady, we got to actually look in to the contest and how she lost as well as the aftermath. She wasn’t some arrogant showoff who deserved to lose to the “sweet down to earth rival”, she was a girl who legitimately tried her best and had valid reason to be upset. Seeing her get revenge on Alec for cheating and humiliating her on live TV was well worth it.

Or how about the Photographer? Just there to take photos of Adrien in the park for a photo shoot or be the school photographer, but otherwise has no personality and is only remembered for his weird “spaghetti” line.

In Scarlet Lady, his role is two-fold. He acts as a sort of supporter for Adrien in his crush. Taking really good pictures of him being happy with the girl he likes. Taking more class photos at the behest of this girl for the sake of a friend who missed out on the class picture. And then there’s his OTHER role as a sort of antagonist to Chloe. He becomes one of the only ones in the early seasons willing and capable of dismissing her tantrums.

They’re both given more character. They get moments to stand out and BE awesome. So is everyone.

EVERYONE. From the classmates and big named characters we see regularly to the side characters who only appear once or twice. They all get some good scenes and focus that give them their own identities. All of them are memorable. None of them can really be ignored or forgotten. And part of what made making this list so difficult was that I found myself getting attached to pretty much everyone as I came across each of them that I couldn’t quite make up my mind.

Everyone in this fic has done something to make me happy and warrant my approval. Even the characters I normally wouldn’t like at all had their moments to shine and elicit an “okay, that was cool” from me.

Thus I grant this spot to everyone. To all the characters I don’t get the chance to mention. To all the ones I like albeit somewhat less than others. To all the ones I know are horrible but can’t help but like regardless. To all the ones I fought with myself for THREE MONTHS over which one would get this spot.

I love all of them.

[kaiserin-erzsebet]

I would LOVE to hear more gripes about accuracy of portrayal of historical monarchies!!!

I have been wanting to do this for a while, because there is a lot that irks me. And this ranges across board from big budget period dramas to how people write royalty AUs, which means this isn't one specific thing I'm pointing at. And if it is helpful on a writing tips level, I'll be happy with that.

Long post under the cut:

Disclaimers:

I research 19th century European history, which has a lot of questions about what a monarchy is and why they continue to exist. That's the perspective I am bringing to this.

I probably shouldn't have to say this, but: this is not about modern monarchism. This is about history. I don't want to debate whether you think certain countries should continue to have their monarchs be public figures who are only nominally head of state.

The short version:

Monarchies are institutions. They are part of how the government functions and that should have implications for how someone writes them. A monarch is a person with a built in job that they were born into.

Monarchies are not all absolute. They can exist in a multiple forms with very different structures, and often discontent within a monarchy wants to reform the system not replace it.

My biggest advice would be this: figure out how your fictional or historical monarchy is structured. You don't have to exposit about it, but you do need to know it.

The long version:

The King has a job and there is a right and wrong way to do it.

Fantasy monarchies that draw upon history seem to have Versailles in mind in terms of an aesthetic space and royalty with a lot of power over the people around them. This also includes a lot of lounging around and looking pretty and doing lavish things. However, the issue is that this is a mental image of the dysfunction in the French monarchy close to the revolutions. You can't "Après moi, le déluge" through several centuries of government.

A King (or Queen) has a job, a really important one. They are the head of state, the highest authority in the country, and the highest judge on legal matters. At least in the platonic ideal of absolute monarchy, those jobs being concentrated into one person means their responsibility and good judgement will give the state stability and consistently.

Enlightened absolutism was exactly that: monarchs staunchly holding onto the ideals of the Enlightenment and making reforms from the top down. People who read texts about ideal government and natural rights and put it into practice.

A lot of fiction takes that and goes: Oh, so they have unlimited power and can do whatever they want. Being king means you can do what you want without oversight? That's why someone would want to be king?

And yeah, sure, in theory. But the problem with having a job is that you can do it poorly and people will object to you doing it poorly. If someone is not fulfilling obligations, it is noticeable because the state functions poorly. The premise of Robin Hood is that the king is doing his job poorly. He's overtaxing, the officials are corrupt, there's disorder. The solution? Bring back the true king who is good and fair, and thus functional.

Ludwig II of Bavaria gets ousted from his throne for being more interested in opera and extravagant building projects than ruling. Again, it is a problem and people notice.

Historically, if you want to protect from someone being bad at the job you can support the idea that there should be more oversight and safeguards: Other bodies that control parts of the government alongside the king's ability to approve or disapprove. This tactic takes away the ability to be arbitrary since laws and such are not just coming from the crowned head of state. That would be a constitutional monarchy.

Not everyone needs to be Franz Joseph, waking up at the crack of dawn and working on governmental papers and meetings until bedtime. However, if a monarch is shown in fiction lounging around or talking to courtiers all day but never doing any actual governing, I'm going to assume they are very bad at their job.

2. You're probably understanding Courts and Ministers wrong.

I run into the issue quite a bit that courts are flattened to random servants, ladies-in-waiting, and people trying to be the king's sole advisor (for malicious power grabbing reasons).

The first problem: Being at court isn't an easily accessible thing. You're probably nobility or a scion of an important family. Your presence is built on family prestige and your own skill. Yes, even people in service to the monarch. There are no random people here, because proximity heightens the likelihood of greater promotion.

For example, I'm currently doing my research on a prince from an important dynasty in the 19th century. His secretary is a Baron.

It's not impossible for someone not of noble birth to get to be at court. They could have risen up the ranks of the army or be an exceptionally skilled civil servant promoted to the rank of minister. Though depending on the time period, expect these "new men" to get pushback from nobility by blood.

Ministers also matter.

Unless your fictional monarch is one of the few people who decides (to mixed results) to do all of the thinking about government on their own, there is a cabinet and ministers.

These are skilled people whose job is to think about aspects of government and be knowledgeable about them. A monarch might have many of them that argue and balance each other.

Or, you can write a particularly skilled statesman in a leading role that makes them just as prominent as the monarch if not more so. There are many historical examples of ministers who define their period:

If your monarch character isn't a strong person politically, but is intelligent, having them find a minister to take over most of the governing is a good idea. This person is promoted based on merit, even if the monarchy is hereditary.

I have rarely if ever seen fiction do a good job with a prominent minister as a character (except A Royal Affair, which everyone should watch).

Think of monarchies as whole institutions of government. They have people within them who do all the jobs of governing. But the structure of the government and the personality of the monarch can determine whether it is one person (Joseph II, Peter the Great, etc.), a prominent minister (like a Metternich or Bismarck) or a counsel or congress.

The structure can support a person not doing a lot as monarch, but you as a writer need to think what structures are around them allowing that.

3. Revolutions are scary.

There is a common trend in fiction to make your good guys pro-republic. They're revolutionaries who want to get rid of the king, so they must be good.

But here's the thing: Revolutions are a step into the unknown and have historically happened rather rarely and with very mixed results. That's because the system has to be really broken for something totally new to sound better than what you already have.

A monarchy can create a sense of stability: A fixed head of state who will be there until they die. Historically, people aren't seeking to change that. More often, the call is for a change within the existing structure. The Magna Carta or a written Constitution. Firing of Bad Ministers or the abdication of a bad king in favor of their heir. Creating elected bodies under the sovereign. These are all shifting the monarchical paradigm but keeping the monarchy intact.

And historically even the most liberal of people wanted to place restrictions of some sort on voting, especially property and gender restrictions.

There is a myriad of ways to change the system, the person at the top, or both while maintaining a monarchy. You can have a monarchy be elected as the best person among the nobility (though it didn't go that well for the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth).

Completely throwing the whole thing out means risking all stability vanishing. That could be anarchy. That could mean a charismatic strongman who is also bad at governing in power. You could end up with a guillotine and rivers of blood in the streets. You could end up with a restoration eventually because Cromwell or Robespierre doesn't actually produce something people want to live under and they want the old certainty back.

People have a sense of inertia about changing government. What you have is better than what you don't know, especially if there can be internal reform. Making your character a Republican (in the Jacobin sense, not the US politics sense) means that they are a radical in most times and places and will likely be in the minority.

If there is one thing I would say is the point here is that monarchies are government systems, and thinking through how someone exists in that system in fiction is important. Being king isn't actually much of a fun job unless you're very good at delegating or very irresponsible. Unless you want to be celebrity, president, congress, and moral center of the state all in one, being king isn't a great deal.

[bemusedlybespectacled]

I don't understand the chevron law thing, could you explain it like I'm five? Should we be working towards fixing whatever the courts just fucked up?

So, okay, I am condensing like a semester of a class I took in 2017 into a very short explanation, but:

It would be really annoying for Congress to individually pass laws approving every new medicine or listing out every single poison you can't have in tap water, so instead there are agencies created by Congress, via a law, to handle a specific thing. The agencies are created by Congress but overseen by the executive branch (so, the president), which is why we say things like "Reagan's EPA" or "Biden's DOJ" - even though Congress creates them, the president determines how they do the thing Congress wants them to do, by passing regulations like "you can't dump cyanide in the local swimming pool" and "no, you can't dump strychnine, either."

However, sometimes people will oppose these regulations by saying that the agency is going beyond the task they were given by Congress. "The Clean Air Act only bans 'pollutants,' and nowhere in the law does it say that 'pollutants' includes arsenic! You're going beyond your mandate!" To which the experts at the EPA would be like, "We, the experts at the EPA, have decided arsenic is a pollutant." On the flip side, the EPA could be like, "We, the experts at the EPA, have decided that arsenic isn't a pollutant," and people would oppose that regulation by being like, "But the Clean Air Act bans 'pollutants,' and it's insane to say that arsenic isn't a pollutant!" So whose interpretation is correct, the government's or the challengers'?

Chevron deference basically put heavy weight onto how the agency (i.e. the government) interpreted the law, with the assumption that the agency was in the right and needing pretty strong evidence that they were interpreting it wrong (like, blatantly doing the opposite of a clear part of the law or something). If there was any ambiguity in how the law was written, you'd defer to the agency's interpretation, even if that interpretation was different depending on who was president at the time.

(Note: there are other ways of challenging regulations other than this one, like saying that they were promulgated in a way that is "arbitrary and capricious" – basically, not backed by any evidence/reasoning other than "we want it." Lots of Trump-era regulations got smacked with this one, though I think they'd be better at it if Trump gets a second term, since they've now had practice.)

Chevron deference wasn't all good – remember that the sword cuts both ways, including when dickholes are in power – but it was a very standard part of the law. Like, any opposition to a regulation would have some citation to be like "Chevron doesn't apply here" and every defense would be like "Chevron absolutely applies here" and most of the time, the agency would win. Like, it was a fundamental aspect of law since the 80s.

The Supreme Court decision basically tosses that out, and says, "In a situation where the law is ambiguous, the court decides what it means." That's not completely insane – interpreting law is a thing judges normally do – but in a situation where the interpretation may hinge on something very complicated outside of the judge's wheelhouse, you now cannot be like, "Your Honor, I promise you that the experts at NOAA know a lot about the weather and made this decision for a good reason."

The main reason it's a problem is that it allows judges to override agencies' judgements about what you should do about a thing and what things you should be working on in the first place. However, I don't think there's really a way of enshrining that into law, outside of maybe adding something to the Administrative Procedure Act, and that would require a Congress that isn't majority Republican.

I will say that kind of I expected this to happen, just because IIRC Gorsuch in particular hates Chevron deference. IMO it's a classic case of "rules for me but not for thee" – Scalia and other conservatives used to rely on Chevron because they wanted their presidents to hold a ton of unchecked power (except for the EPA), but now that we've had Obama and Biden, now conservatives don't like Chevron because it gives the presidents they don't like unchecked power.

[tarotofhope]

You can apply the below observations to both, your vedic and western charts. I'm not generalizing anything or anyone, these are just my random personal observations, don't let it ruin your day or week(for some people).

Note: I've noticed that some people were arguing in the comment section, when I posted part 1 of these astro observations. Please don't do that. If you do not agree, just ignore the post and move on, don't come fighting and arguing in the comment section saying, "We are not like this, we are not like that." I don't understand, those are not fixed opinions, definitions or judgements neither am I pointing out fingers at someone specific, so please do not take it personally. If it is something positive, people always come and accept easily then why not the negative stuff? Astrology is vast and people are complex. So many combinations or placements explain so many things, but it may not apply to everyone. Even I do not resonate with some observations(positive and negative, both) but I do not go bursting out in the comment section. If people won't observe and find common points between placements/signs, then tell me how else would people study astrology? Those observations are not written after just observing 1 or 2 people. If any of your placements are mentioned and you do not resonate with it, then you might have some other placements which make you an exception, don't take it to heart. If you have so much problem then don't read observations, only read tarot.

☾✴ The more Aries/Scorpio/1st House placements you have in the big 6, the more aggressive, assertive, impulsive and impatient you are.

☾✴ Sun conjunct Mars in the 4th House placement will give the native a profession/passion their father won't like and support of, there will be strong resentment and disapproval from his side.

☾✴ Aquarius sun people are misunderstood personalities and they either have a huge friend circle or they like to be alone, nothing in between.

☾✴ Capricorn Sun people are so attracted to the mystical and magnetic scorpios, they love their aura and energy. Same goes with Aries and Scorpios too. Capricorn Sun people also adore kind and generous people.

☾✴ People with dominant earth placements have a stable long term profession and/or more than one property in their name. They mostly leave some legacy behind if they're popular and famous, people respect them a lot and they have many loyal fans and admirers. To mention a few: Elvis Presley, Beyoncé, Michael Jackson, Adele, Ratan Tata, Gurdas Maan, A.R. Rahman.

☾✴ Now, this is very specific, I can't sit still if I don't mention this. When Sagittarius Sun singers and composers break up with someone, they create the biggest hit number after that. That song gets to the top in the charts. For example: Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus. I love how these natives quickly reach a glow up after a huge blow up, maybe this happens because it hits them hard when they soon realize that their life and peace of mind is much more precious and they shouldn't waste it on someone who's not worth it.

☾✴ Ketu/South Node in the 5th house/7th house, Ketu conjunct Venus/Saturn/Moon will make the native less or not at all interested in having children and/or romantic relationships. These people have their focus on other things in life such as self growth, career, ambition, passion and so on.(If these people have strong martian placements then they would want intimate relationships or marriage but no children.)

☾✴ Leo, Taurus, Capricorn and Aries Sun men have veiny hands and arms.

Love, light, peace & hope to you🌸🍁🌻🌼

Thank you so much for being here. I post PAC & Astrology Observations. Do love and support by reblogging, liking or following.

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[petalsonmoon]

but i'm a fire, and i'll keep your brittle heart warm

the three times you give each other peace.

part 1 of 3.

wc: 1.7k

notes: in this series reader has anxiety. of a specific situation. it’s based on my experience but i don’t want to treat this matter lightly so feel free to warn or discuss any concerns with me. thank you for reading <3

you really wish you’d outgrowned this by now.

you hear your name being called from the other side of the door.

“we’re almost up!” tetsutetsu affirms softly. “i’ll come back when we’re done, okay?”

at this point you don’t feel ashamed anymore. tetsu has been your person for a year now. his friendship had the softness his quirk lacked.

when you don’t respond he continues “i’m not desappointed in you.”

“okay.” you let out with soft snicker.

“i heard that.”

“aren’t you late?”

“it doesn’t matter.”

“please, go. you’re gonna be amazing”

“do you understand that nobody is dissapointed? i won’t leave until i’m certain you understand.” he says and his body leaning in the door is not a subtle sound. you take a deep breath.

“i’m okay.” you take a few steps closer to the door. “and i understand. thank you.”

your response is sincere enough for you to hear him getting ready to leave.

“you’re doing great.” his voice is as dweet as he can muster. you’re not sure you believe his words but you can feel he means them. “we’re proud of you! and i’ll be right back.”

he walks for a few seconds to deceive you that he wasn’t late but then you can faintly hear him running.

you walk towards where the drumbs were supposed to be and sit on the floor there, back against the closest wall.

right now, your defeated breathing and relaxed but tense heart were more frustated about the situation than the main issue of it all. you were in the 2nd year of the UA’s hero course. it’s shouldn’t be like that.

you’re mature enough to understand there’s nothing and no one to blame. you consider yourself a strong and secure person. since your first day here, you went out to find a way to have a private and open chat with professor mic and he was so very considerate.

you explained how sometimes really loud noises caused you to have a few anxiety crises. it didn’t happen much but you did want to become a hero so you wanted to be as clear as possible about this so it doesn’t affect your goals and your future.

not saying that noises in general are a problem for you but the whole ambient and the aggregation of noises is what set it off.

but you like to think that since the first day you’ve come a long and upright way.

you stayed in the music room for a while and felt your mind troubling. you feel a few tears falling down your face and you weren’t even feeling that sad but the disappointment in yourself was leaking from you.

you took few deep breathes and tried to trick your brain main focus.

this was your place of choice to calm yourself, not sure if it’s because of the sound isolation or it being the furthest from the arena where everything happened but it was a good place. a very nice room if you consider that barely anybody would be interested in music being in a hero course. no, that’s quite judgemental, don’t think like that. you’re here after all.

and it’s quite a contraditing thinking when as soon as you finish your thought the door slams open.

your eyes meets a pair of ferocious red dots and unintentionally you feel your whole body shiver. the fuck?

he stares at you for a full 5 seconds before he started to move. if he was even slighly surprised to see you there his expression weren’t showing it. apart from the very much common furrowed eyebrows he was blankly normal.

your gaze was glued on him as he walked towards you. he stops at the little drawer not far from you and gets something from the upper drawer as well as a coat that was hanging in the microfone stand. you blink and he’s already on the door again, he slams it as he leaves and you flinch.

right, katsuki bakugo was supposed to play the drums today. it’s really interesting that he, a wild rabbit (as you named him, you know, because of the red eyes and not being very tall) in form of human, would be patient enough to learn how to play any instrument. you didn’t know much of the boy, being from class B yourself but your classes have done enough training together to understand that he doesn’t really like your class or people in general.

you stay perfectly sitted there a bit longer, the shame and resentment you were feeling now it’s a snowball of sadness. you really wish you were brave as the kid you thought you’d be by now.

well, let’s not go that path again. you wanted to become a hero and you will. you still had a year ahead of you and all you needed was a bit of bakugo’s fierciness in you. midoriya also seemed to be a very dedicated person and far more approachable...

when you hear your belly complaining you decide it’s time to face the consequences of your brain’s actions. and exactly when you move a single leg to get up, the door opens and bakugo is back and you freeze. he opened the door calmly like a normal person and perhaps that’s why you froze.

he’s not looking at you when he makes his way to the couch a few meters away, on your diagonal. he throws his body there like he’s exausted and lays his head so he’s staring at the celling. and he just stays there.

you look around like you’re waiting for something in the room to indicate you what to do next.

time passes and nothing happens and your body relaxes a tiny little bit.

drums are so cool, actually. we all know the drummer is the coolest in a band. if you could learn one it’d be drums. maybe piano first cause they say that after learing piano everything is easier…

“we crushed your stupid class today” his rough and deep voice reverberates around the room.

anxiety fills you up for a slip of a second before you evict it out of your body. not exactly because of him but because of the possibility of him asking that one question.

“i too you would brag about my skills with instruments if i couldn’t act for shit.” you retort softly.

his head moves and his are on yours again.

“your plays always sucks.”

“not what the crowd says.”

“it’s exactly what the crowd says.” his tone intends to finish the discussion. in his head, maybe.

“well, do you believe what the crowd usually says about you?”

he immediately squint his powerful eyes, analyzing you. you look away like that would make his curiosity go away too.

“you guys are always great.” you continue, your tone off for those who knew you.

his furrowed eyebrows deepened and he shakes his head lightly.

“just say what you want to say.”

“you guys should change the genre once in a while. the sparkles and lights and glitter can only get you so far.” It’s out of you automatically.

he smirks imperceptibly and looks up once again.

“it’s what i always tell those idiots.”

“why would they listen to the one that can explode the whole auditorium because of a fly, am i right?”

“don’t shit with me, i follow their ideas every damn time.” he responds, in a rasply soft tone if you squinted.

you start fidgeting with your rings. it’s a surprisingly peaceful feeling, this interaction. but there’s a question flying around you both. did he even notice you weren’t there? you’re probably thinking too much about yourself.

the worst of it all is that you’re dressed to go. your make-up nicely done. well, a bit blurred because of the tears but that added a charm, you think.

but it took a second to everything seem impossible to achieve.

so you just keep talking and not thinking.

“do you know how to play the piano?”

“no” he grunts.

“is there another instrument you’d like to learn?”

he drops his head to look at you again and it’s starting to feel familiar.

“no”

“yeah.” you look down, there only so much red you can take. “nothing like the drums.”

just keep talking and don’t think.

“is there a secret to not get nervous before going up?” you ask without even noticing where this question is edging for.

“i’m here to be a hero.” his voice impossibly lower “a bunch of students are nothing to me.”

you chuckle lighly “aren’t you just a student as well?”

“i don’t usually believe what the crowd says about me.”

you’re smilling fantly when you’re looking up again. “you don’t?”

“not a single fuck is given.”

you nod still smilling. he’s kinda funny.

but his gaze is very still.

“i remember last month’s training our classes did together. you ended yaoyorozu.” he says, low and calm and you chuckle.

“that’s a way to put it.”

“is there another way?”

“no.” you answer suddenly feeling shy “it wasn’t easy, that’s all.”

“that’s what happened. you won.” his gaze is unrevealing and familiar but is also like a challenge.

“think i can take you?” his face tells you nothing and you’d give money for what he’s thinking.

“wanna try?” he says.

a giddiness fills you up. like the thrill of making new friends or the good kind of nervousness you feel before your friends sing you happy birthday. yet, you don’t have an opportunity to respond because someone opens the door.

“heyyyy” tetsu comes in with the biggest smile on his face and when you look at him it’s like all the heavy emotions in your bady wakes back up.

oh, no. he’s your friend. don’t feel that way. bad, bad heart.

“hi!” your voice shatters. snd now you’re feeling the fake kind of giddiness. you didn’t even want to look at bakugo. “i was about to look for you.”

“bakugo!” tetsu acknowledges bakugo while you’re getting up and his response is a grunt. “we’re about to get some food. kendo wanted me to get you immediately.”

you smile at him. “okay. let’s go.”

“they definitely cheered louder for us today-“

as tetsu leaves the area, that heavy but welcoming peace of whatever happened there hits you. you stop by the door before leaving and turn around to look at bakugo only to find his eyes already on you.

and with neutral face and inoffensive tone you tell him.

“i can take you.”

not waiting for a response you close the door behind you.

[liliapleasesteponme]

The tower reversed

Lilia calderu x fem!reader (can be read as romantic or platonic)

Summary - you go looking for reassurance and stumble upon madame calderu's psychic readings

Angst, hurt/comfort, happy ending, family problems (i think thats all)

Requested by anon (i actually had this idea for lilia giving reader a tarot reading a while ago but now someone requested it as angst soooo)

There was so much going on in your life. You needed reassurance, something to tell you that you're on the right path. You'd been walking for ages, nowhere specific, just around town. You'd hoped to find a sign of some sort that would tell you that things will get better.

You finally decided to go home but just as you turned around a shop caught your eye, the sign read Madame Calderu's Psychic Readings

Maybe a tarot reading was exactly what you needed. You crossed the road, making your way to the shop. You stared at the door for a moment contemplating whether to go in or not. You did.

The little bell above the door rang as you entered, you quietly called out "madame Calderu ?"

She flamboyantly made her entrance, saying a clearly rehearsed line followed by, "what can i do for you, dear ?"

"could i have a success reading please ?"

"of course, dear, sit." she motioned her hand towards a chair and you anxiously sat. "i can tell you're very tense."

You nod your head slightly "let's begin."

She took out her tarot deck and layed it on the table. Then she spread all the cards out, her fingers laying beautifully against each card. "choose any six cards. Whichever cards call out to you."

You carefully picked out your cards, though none of them called out to you as she had suggested. She took your cards and arranged them into a triangle. She first turned over the top card. "this card represents you. Queen of Pentacles, reversed. The queen often struggles to maintain balance between family and work, she is too often captured by her need of independence. You will face difficult choices, these choices may shape your future, be prepared to fight for what you need moving forward."

The moment she mentioned your family, you teared up. Your relationship with them was rocky to say the least and you had buried yourself in your work as a distraction. She was good. She noticed how your eyes watered over and she grabbed your hand in consolation. Her thumb rubbed comforting circles on your hand, usually you would ask not to be touched but she made you feel warm so you allowed it. "shall we continue ?" she asked.

You gave a low hum and she continued. she moved to the next card, turning it over. "this next card represents the people in your life. Justice, reversed. Justice reversed often allows bias to cloud her judgement, making it hard to understand those around her. Make sure you look at all the facts available before you make a clear decision on anything important."

You nodded again and she moved on, you didn't address that card. "the third card. How you are viewed by those around you. The tower, reversed. The tower is a portent of destruction, ignoring its message is unwise. Make sure to listen to the signs. You may be trying to delay the inevitable, the tower has to crumble one day."

Listen to the signs you mumbled to yourself before asking "signs ? What signs do i look for ?"

She looked deeply into your eyes, "i can't tell everything, dear."

This time the tears fell ... Alot. Though she barely knew you, hearing you sobbing broke her heart. She stood up and walked over to you, pulling you into her warm embrace. For a moment you wanted to run away but feeling her arms around you made you feel like there was something to stay for.

You let your head fall to her shoulder, hugging her back. "I'm sorry dear, sometimes the cards aren't as kind as we may hope"

You pulled back to look into her eyes and she held your head in her hands. You nod your head so softly it could barely be seen. A small smile made its way to your face, it was only small but it made the air around the two of you feel much lighter. "i dont think we should continue," she said with a delicate worry, "and i dont want you walking alone in this state. Stay for the night, I'll make you some food and you can rest, i can tell you need it."

You were hesitant to accept her offer but she was right, you weren't in the right headspace to leave after this, so you said yes. She lead you to the room in the back of her shop, it was a cozy space, just being in there made you calmer.

She fulfilled her earlier promise and made you some food, it was nothing special but you were thankful for what she was doing for you, considering you just met. It felt like she knew you some how.

Your earlier nerves were eased and you were feeling much better. After she washed up, she sat with you and the two of you talked for hours. By the end of the night, it was like you knew everything about each other. You slept the night there and surprisingly it was one of the best sleeps you'd had in a long time.

In the morning, you exchanged numbers and went on your way, eager to text her later.

A/N sorry its kinda short, i lost inspo half way but wanted to post it today so yeah

[f1nalgirlz]

least to most likely to have a mommy kink: Rory characters edition!

(not all characters, mostly ones i'm more familiar with to make a proper judgement, clearly i take my job seriously /j also this is purely my opinion and if you disagree that's totally fine :P) The demons in me couldn't rest until i wrote this so :}

Warnings: NSFW, use of mommy (duh), sub!Rory characters, dom!Reader (for the most part), explicit language

Least:

Kappa:

- to be honest i just don't see him being into the whole mommy situation...

- like sure he could be **kind of** submissive at times, but mommy just isn't rolling off the tongue for him.

R!Euro:

- honestly kinda similar to kappa in that, mommy isn't rolling of his tongue particularly easily HOWEVER

- he's definitely further up on the list because i definitely see him subbing easier than Kappa lmao

- he most likely wouldn't use something like 'mommy' though, R!Euro is a 'mistress' man and i'll stand by that (probably)

Ollie Sway:

- he's at this placement for way different reasons than the others lmao

- he'd be wayyyy too shy to bring it up to you despite it being something he could see himself liking

- and if YOU'RE the one too bring it up he's still too embarrassed to voice it's something he might like or be interested in

- would be the type to 'ew' his way out of it simply to avoid any perceived embarrassment about being submissive.

- would come around later (give it 2 days MAX) and admit his feelings when he felt comfortable enough.

- would be totally open to mommy or even other names after coming to terms with his own feelings towards it

Jack Thurlow:

- he would, but not for the same reasons as everyone else

- he has a crazy breeding kink & you cannot tell me otherwise!!

- when he calls you 'mommy' it's almost always condescending or laced with fake sympathy

- when he calls you mommy, it's because he's threatening to make you one

- fucking you so good and saying the filthiest shit ever in your ear with mock sympathy

- "you like that, hm? like it when i fuck you full of my cum? gonna make you a mommy."

(nearing most likely territory here)

Clyde:

- i was torn on who to put in this slot between Clyde and Charlie...

- it's not that Clyde WOULDN'T be into it, he'd just be hesitant

- he has absolutely no problems subbing, but the specific name threw him off a bit at first

- 'mommy' doesn't exactly roll off his tongue with ease regularly yk??

- HOWEVER ,,,

- once you get him pretty deep into subspace, it comes out a lot easier.

- if you're fucking him really good 'mommy' just slips out so easily, he's just not thinking about anything other than how mommy is making him feel in the moment :(((

- the first time he moaned it out, you hardly heard him, it was so soft and quiet.

Charlie Walker:

- he definitely wouldn't be the one to bring it up first but... come on.

- he'd probably be a lil embarrassed about it and it might take quite a bit of encouragement to get him over that little bump of embarrassment

- but after that he *loves* it, not that he'd actually say that.

- he's more of a show how you feel than say it kinda guy.

- surely willing to be such a good boy for mommy <3

- he's literally obsessed with you and would do *anything* for you anyways.

Danny Cooper:

- DUHH !!!!! the subbiest sub to ever sub, you guys

- he's the one who brought it up, extremely shyly i'll add

- once it's been discussed and in action, he's not shy at all though. he's definitely not too shy to moan out for mommy to his hearts content <33

- he thoroughly enjoys calling you mommy, he loves belonging to mommy,

- ESPECIALLY when he's being reminded of how he belongs to mommy !!!

- he adores being mommy's good boy and he is a good boy. the best even.

- when you're fucking him so good he's just a drooly teary eyed mess, and you compliment him, "mommy's baby is so pretty"

- he might just cum on the spot :'))

Most

[drdemonprince]

can i ask for some sex advice? im a bisexual trans guy, i’ve been with cis women and had hookups with a cis guy where he just went down on me. i’m generally attracted to all genders, but sexually i find myself turned off/repulsed by penises and cum so i’ve only pursued hookups with ppl with vulvas (so far cis women and other ftms) or situations where i don’t have to interact with the penis. totally fine with trans women and femmes who are post-op, etc. i’ve just been worried that i’m gross/transphobic/a chaser? even though im bi i feel like a shitty person for not being into dick.

Hey, thanks for the question. I think it is a good thing to be asking oneself. I think that even if you were to conclude that your attitudes were transphobic, I don't think the solution would be pushing yourself to have sex you didn't want to have or trying to force yourself to "get over" the associations that you have. That won't work, and it's not your fault for having them. What matters is how we treat people, not what fleeting thoughts and emotions we might have privately, which is part of why it is so annoying for cis people to act as if they are persecuted for having a "genital preference" or whatever. The problem isn't their feelings. It's their exclusionary, cruel, often violent actions and the words they express publicly.

I think it's worth contemplating that many trans femme people have absolutely no desire to use their penises during sex, or can't because of various medical issues, and do not produce cum that looks anything like the way most cis men produce cum. How would you feel about a trans woman who does have a penis using a strap-on on you? About you two fisting each other? About you using a hitachi magic wand on her? How do you feel when you see a trans guy with a post-phalloplasty cock? Try to reflect on questions like these with curiosity and not judgement.

Maybe you will explore your feelings and find that there are still barriers; maybe for example you wouldn't feel comfortable going down on someone's penis, but would be happy to be fucked with a strap-on by someone who has a penis, or to fuck them. That's okay. Lots of trans women want exactly that kind of sexual encounter anyway. And lots more are open minded and recognize that T4T sex is experimental and free-floating and doesn't have to involve any specific sex acts. Negotiating these things should be done delicately and respectfully, but it is always fine to say "I don't do [xyz]" or "I don't want to do xyz right now."

I relate more to your question that you might know, albeit from a different direction. I have a lot of dysphoria about having a vagina; though PIV can feel good, what I most picture myself as having in my mind's eye is nothing at all between my legs. I hate receiving oral, as I've talked about a lot, but I'm also dysphoric about and disturbed by giving oral to a person with a vagina. I have also experienced a lot of sexual trauma that involved a (typically cis male) partner forcing or pressuring me to have sex with cis women. That's happened to me many times over the course of my life. It's also made facing any pressure whatsoever to have sex with women (either cis or trans) deeply triggering and upsetting to me.

All of my own personal hang-ups and traumas have left me feeling funnily very much like that one line from Saltburn, "Women are too wet. Men are so lovely and dry."

I do get into my head about it being super transphobic of me sometimes. But I have also had fun, carefree, experimental, gratifying, hot sex with trans men with vaginas. I might not be able to eat them out, but there's lots I can do. I can finger them, put my hands in them, eat their asshole, take their strap, suck their strap-on, kiss them, fondle them, play with their nipples, be fucked alongside them, writhe atop a single hitachi together with them, slap their ass, put a dildo in them, whatever. I just don't want to eat them out or have them eat me out, for the most part.

It would be highly understandable if a trans guy felt invalidated by my feeling that way or didn't want to have sex with me given those limits. that's fine. I understand this stuff is fraught and sucks sometimes. I don't talk about my feelings around this topic publicly often because it is so contentious and I don't want feelings to be hurt. But in my heart I'm comfortable with where I am at. I know which limits I have that seem immovable and I don't really want to push them ever again. Having those limits pushed is what traumatized me. At the same time, I know it's not connected in any way to seeing trans men as lesser than cis men, or as less attractive, and I know it's not a barrier to me having sex with trans men if the moment and our interests both align. I'm not a bad person for feeling this way. It's actually really hard to be trans and to be wired this way. But I'm doing the best I can with it to both grow, and not be an asshole, and also to find fulfillment.

[doberbutts]

about your TME/Imane Khelif post, i believe i can provide some answers (im not transfem myself but im very interested in transfeminism)

first of all, no oppressed/oppressor binary is going to be perfect. POC/white is a useful distinction, but last summer a white man was killed after being mistaken for being arab. a straight man may be harassed for hugging his male friend and being seen as gay, etc. TME/TMA are useful terms to describe the way transmisogyny operates in society, even though like all oppressions, things can occasionally get muddled IRL. it doesn't make those terms useless or incorrect. to go back to the harassed straight man example, that man would certainly be a VICTIM of homophobia, but that doesn't make him gay, or mean that he doesn't have any heterosexual privilege at all.

(you said imane khelif may be sent to jail IF she's ruled not to be enough of a woman. horrifying prospect of course, but that IF is doing a lot! a trans woman would not have that IF!)

just wanted to provide that perspective since you asked very genuinely and thoughtfully. have a nice day

I appreciate the good faith response!!! This is exactly the sort of discussion I was looking for.

I am mostly on board - I have discussed at length how these social categories are muddy at best and do not operate on strict lines, and that people in general are impossible to place into neatly sorted boxes. Similar to your first example, I reference frequently a past love of mine who was white but often mistaken for mixed asian (usually chinese/white) due to his monolids, facial structure, and facial hair pattern. Despite being a white guy, he had numerous encounters with racists that ended quite violently for him, and as a result was probably one of the most sensitive white guys I've ever dated regarding race.

Being mistaken for being chinese, while not actually being chinese himself, is not at all the same as actually being chinese. I certainly agree. However, I think it is wrong to say that sinophobia does not affect him or that he is exempt from sinophobia because he has the ability to say "hey wait a second I'm not chinese I'm white". Mostly because any time he tried to do that, it didn't work, and he still got beaten up anyway.

And I also don't think it means he has no white privilege at all- certainly, we experienced it as a couple in real time because while he could be mistaken as a man of color, I absolutely am one without question. And, furthermore, I'm visibly black, not just "of color", which makes people really double down on the racism. Case in point, any time I parked my car in the visitor spot next to his apartment door, the landlord would run out of their office to chase me away stating the spot was only for approved visitors. Even though she saw me entering and exiting his residence in her pursuit to make me move my car. The town he lived in is less than 2% black, and these were luxury apartments that did not have a single black person in the building he specifically lived in. He could live there, but I couldn't even visit without being harassed.

Similarly, as I said in my post, I can see the logic of stating that there is privilege there even though Khelif is in a difficult situation currently, because yes, she can provide a birth certificate and a blood test and a genital check and be cleared of all accusations. I just think that being forced to submit to embarrassing and invasive testing, as well as being forced to provide personal documents, and having the world weigh in on the judgement of your gender, is not really a good literal get-out-of-jail-free card. It is certainly a leg up that she has the ability to do so. I do not think it is right that she should have to- but then I don't see the problem with trans women competing alongside cis women. I think it's stupid that sports are divided by gender and not by weight/height/proficiency.

And I think that forcing specifically women of color who oddly enough seem to be the vast majority of these cases (esp black women and esp esp black intersex women who didn't even know they were intersex before but w/e) to prove that they're woman enough to be qualified as women is racial violence with interphobia and transphobia as the weapon. Intersectionality and all that.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for using my status as an agender person to get a surgery I want although I do not want it for gender-related issues ?

TW : talk of uterus, menstrual cycles and menstrual blood

I'll start by saying this is not the US so please don't make your judgement based on that. I'll describe how things are in my country.

So I (X24) want my uterus removed. The main reason is that I want to be sterilised to stop having so much anxiety about becoming pregnant, which would be a nightmare for me, and I never ever want this to happen again.

But I can't get any other form of sterilisation as then I would keep my uterus, so I would keep my period, and without hormonal treatment it's just not liveable. To give you an idea, my natural cycles are 21 days instead of 28, I get my period for 7 days instead of 5 and it can be hemorrhagic for up to 4 days of these 7. (I used to get post-op medication because of the hemorrhagia before I was under contraception.) And of course I get through excruciating pain every time, beside having iron deficiency among other things. I'm currently trying another hormonal contraception, it's still not going well. There is always something wrong. My first pill just stopped working, the next ones made me gain 20kg, I'm currently trying hormonal IUD and although I don't bleed as much, I bleed for so long and there is so much pain that no available painkillers can block. I'm so tired. I can't imagine going through that for another 15 to 25 years.

In my country, it is written in law that you are allowed to be sterilised using various methods, all of which keep the uterus. Nothing is said for hysterectomy as a sterilisation method. And although many refuse to sterilise you at all, if you find the right surgeon you can be no matter your age. The procedure is also fully reimbursed. Nothing is said in law about hysterectomy.

This means that the vast majority of surgeons won't remove your uterus. Except if you have a pathology related to it or if you're trans (coming back to that later).

So what I described above does look like a uterus with a pathology, right? It certainly looks like endometriosis at least. I went to a surgeon known for doing the other kinds of sterilisation and tried to convince him to just remove my uterus. He refused, not without an asserted pathology. To his credit, he looked for it. He had me take an MRI. Well, they found nothing.

Which means that, although I have a pretty dysfunctional uterus that I never want to use and just keeps causing me problems, he won't remove it. Because they can't find the cause. Even though I feel completely alienated from my body because of that damn organ that keeps trying to make me bear children and will have me bleed out and in pain when I won't allow it.

Then there is the other solution. I said above you could get surgery if you are trans. It's actually a bit more complicated that that. In order to get HRT and gender affirming surgery, you first need to get diagnosed with body dysphoria by a psychiatrist. And then you get a special status in our health system that allows you to get free access to all kinds of things in the medical field (like surgery and HRT) and beyond (like laser depilation).

As I said, I'm agender. They give this status to nonbinary people so my specific flavour of gender (or lack thereof) is not the issue. But I don't have body dysphoria, only social dysphoria. People misgendering me to my face will make me feel horrible but I don't see my body as gendered. My breasts and specifically my uterus are not something that I see as gendered, so they're not something that causes me distress in terms of gender-related issues. Which means as psychiatrist is never going to diagnose me with gender dysphoria as is, and I won't have access to hysterectomy through trans care.

Except if I fake it.

Now, I have no idea if it could even work. If I could even fool someone. But I've been considering trying because I really, really want to get rid of that damn uterus. And technically, I wouldn't be faking my gender identity. Just expanding on my dysphoria. Still, it feels wrong. I wouldn't transition in any other way except removing the uterus. This path doesn't feel like it's mine to take. I feel it would be disrespectful towards actual, dysphoric trans people.

So, what do you say Tumblr ? WIBTA if I tried it anyway ?

What are these acronyms?

[utilitycaster]

I'm curious about your judgement of the success of the various format experimentations in Campaign 3. If you feel like saying a bit more, I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on which are the most and least successful, and why.

Sure! So as I said earlier today, I think a big problem is that the format experimentation and the moon plot are directly at odds. Pulling off the moon plot, with all the NPCs from past campaigns and payoff of various canonical setups requires a pretty firm hand on what the current canon is, and also really did require a firmer hand in the character creation than there was. On the other hand, the point of experimentation is to let other people play in the space and introduce their ideas. This comes together in what I have referred to in the past as "Not Now." Like, the Crown Keepers showing up just as the party was grappling with FCG's death? Not bad as a concept, but Not Now. Abubakar playing Corellon? Incredible performance, but the fact that he was given free rein in a plot that's already shedding viewers left and right for its lack of direction? Not Now.

On an individual level:

I think EXU Prime either needed to be fully standalone, or Matt needed to provide a slightly more rigid direction to Aabria and therefore really couldn't play Dariax. If it's going to get woven into the main plot of Campaign 3 it needs to set that up (including giving Liam and Ashley a heads up beforehand). My personal vote would be for the former, to allow Aabria to tell her own story without it having to serve like 20 different functions, but what's done is done. If I recall, Liam and Ashley had the option to play different characters for Campaign 3 and I do wonder what would happen if they had decided differently, because you could still have Dorian pop up as a guest but I wonder if the Crown Keepers would have shown up in the same way.

Similarly, as stated, the general concept of the Crown Keepers interlude during the campaign as a means to bring in Dorian? I'm not opposed, though I think this is by far the hardest thing to coordinate generally and for a plot as demanding as Campaign 3 probably not a great idea. But it's hard to judge because the timing was truly the worst timing possible given the events of episode 91, and even delaying by like an episode or two would have at least solved that to the point that I don't understand why they didn't just...do that. (and, just to head off this particularly stupid argument at the pass, this would not have in any way affected Sam's ability to take time off for cancer treatment; it would have just shifted things around, and a lot of this experimentation was planned WELL in advance). [sidebar: I haven't listened to the WBN interlude yet but I do have thoughts because I think interludes from different GMs can be done, but the premise of Campaign 3 is particularly hostile towards them unless the main GM has a very heavy hand in their creation or unless they are light on things relevant to the core plot and mostly for the purpose of worldbuilding a la Song of the Lorelei.]

Solstice split was excellent and I think it's because it was not actually anything you wouldn't see in how people frequently play D&D at home. You have a few players who won't be available for a few sessions in a row? Great, find a reason to split the party, bring some other guest players in, and run some side quests!

Downfall was great because it was diagetic. It was a story within a story that Bells Hells was seeing and responding to, and because it took place so long ago with such specific characters, while it may bleed into how Laura, Taliesin, or Ashley feel in game (impossible to prevent, people bring their own feelings to the table), Matt still has room to decide how the Raven Queen, Wildmother, or Everlight feel a thousand years later. I also feel this had the most direction from Matt, which the other things really needed.

As said, bringing in Abubakar to DM as Corellon is something that again, this plot simply doesn't handle well. It makes for a fantastic scene, but within the 107-and-counting episodes of this story, giving the reins to someone else after you finally have a clear plan and letting them throw another curveball is a terrible idea narratively. I think this again would be fine in a story with a looser plot.

Echoes of the Solstice and presumably the upcoming Vox Machina Malleus Key/Mighty Nein Weave Mind concept is again pretty good. This also fits into things that D&D home games have been doing forever - run a one shot or mini campaign following different characters but DM-ed by the same person that have an impact on the current plot but aren't too closely interwoven. Basically this is like the solstice split in concept.

Essentially: I think playing around with the format within a campaign but having the same GM is pretty easy to do. Once you introduce other GMs acting within the world concurrently (rather than as a story with a foregone conclusion a la Downfall, or for that matter Calamity) you need to be extremely careful if you are trying to tell a specific story with a lot of moving parts, as Matt is with Campaign 3. It's one thing to improvise based on things your players do or say; it's another to do so based on improv by a major NPC or someone doing extensive worldbuilding mid-game that you now need to incorporate. This wouldn't be an issue in a more sandbox-style game; Campaign 2 might have been able to withstand it more gracefully, though I'm still not sure. But Campaign 3 was the wrong place to do it. Again, it's trying to converge in some places and diverge in the others and as a result it's just kind of flopping around in place.

[s1arco]

editing my ref post into an introduction/info post :3

TL:DR: queer, multifandom+OC, furry, 18+, pro-kink, antiship, para-complicated, checks reblogs+follows

Hey, my name's Nico!

You can also call me Tempo, my fursona's name

I'm a bisexual transmasc, polyamorous (with one perfect bf currently!) and use he/they/star

I'm a 19 y/o furry artist! This is a multifandom blog, so things will change as I switch hyperfixations. Because of how much things change, always feel free to unfollow!

I MIGHT SAY SLURS I CAN RECLAIM, UNCENSORED! Please either make sure those slurs are in your blocklist before following, or don't follow if you're uncomfortable with that! The slurs I say are f/g, f/ggot, and tr/nny (I censored it now just because this is my intro post)

I like to post fandom stuff, mostly fandom OCs, with occasional ship art, fanart and fandomless OCs, plus reblogs of just whatever I want! I do not check profiles before liking/reblogging posts, nor do I expect others to check before liking/reblogging mine

This is my fursona, Tempo! They're nonbinary, bi and poly! They also double as my main Hazbin/Helluva OC, but those are two different versions of them (the main differences being that the Hellaverse version is a worse person and the fursona version is not drug-addicted). They are NOT my Hellsona -- I don't have a Hellsona!

(I'm not sure if anyone will make any but) fanart of them and my OCs are always welcome! Just @ me so I can see please! Also ask about ship art! I love ship art but I just wanna know who it's of so it's not adult/child or clashing with their sexualities or anything! (Most characters are bi/pan but a few are gay or even straight)

OCs can be found on my Toyhou.se, along with designs for trade

This is an 18+ blog! While not everything I post is sexy or kinky, some of it is, and that's not stuff I want minors interacting with

Whenever people follow me or reblog my sexual posts, I check their profile to see if they're a minor. If they are a minor, then follow = I ask them to unfollow, and reblog = block

I don't check any likes, or the age of rebloggers on my SFW posts. Checking every like I get, even just on sexual posts, would be too time-consuming, and I don't mind if minors interact with my SFW posts

This blog is

Multiship -- often ships characters in multiple relationships, either with the characters polyamorous or in separate AUs

Antiship -- views the positive portrayal of abusive relationships as immoral and unhealthy, for both the viewers and creators. Antiship ≠ pro-harassment

Pro-kink -- supports people into weird stuff, as long as they're not harming anyone

I check all reblogs and follows to see if the people interacting are proship or proship-adjacent. This is just to ensure that my stuff doesn't start getting recommended to more people along those lines, since they're not people I want regularly interacting with my stuff or trying to chat with me. Any found will be blocked, and reblogs may be asked to be deleted if I decide

Loli/cub and feral NSFW are not kinks. Those are paraphilias, specifically pedophilia and zoophilia. DDLG/variants and petplay are kinks, since the subject is a consenting, roleplaying person, not a child or an animal

I do not believe in the immediate demonization of anyone with any paraphilia or paraphilic disorder. I believe that anyone with a paraphilic disorder or harmful paraphilia should speak to a mental health professional and get the help that they need without judgement or punishment for their problem(s). I believe that they should be judged on their words and actions (whether they've harmed anyone; whether they create, consume or promote abusive content; etc) rather than something that cannot be chosen -- as paraphilias cannot be chosen. People with harmless paraphilias should not be demonized or harassed. Due to the extremely wide ranges of opinions I found on both sides that could put this explanation on either side, this blog is labeled as neither propara nor antipara

I block freely, and I encourage you to block me, no matter the reason!

Now, have a good day :3

[terrence-silver]

Can I be blessed with some CK Terry and college beloved headcanons Bea💚 I just started my freshman year of college recently and I'm already getting stress acne it's only week 2 🫠 (also you’re sticker on my water is helping me get through my criminal justice class half the time lol I'll just stare at it looking at all the beautiful detail keep up the amazing work!)

-

― You sure you don't your diploma simply...you know, bought? Because that's the first idea that permeates Terry Silver's mind; just cut to the chase and buying the damn thing for you like he would buy a new race car or a new mansion. Maybe give the college or university in question a tactical 'generous grant' that leaves them indebted to him, as a benefactor, doing so to such a high degree letting you graduate under mysteriously premature circumstances is simply a given. Is it unfair? Yeah. Is it sleazy? Yeah. Does Terry care? No. In fact, the notion that it's morally wrong makes the whole idea more attractive as a prospect to him. Maybe he should simply charmingly threaten the head Dean if the place proves to be incorruptible, which only makes his desire to corrupt all the more ardent; whatever the case, Terry might see the college as an obstacle to himself. All the time beloved's investing focusing on exams, learning, studying and extracurriculars is time not spent with him, which is the way it should be. But, it isn't. And that's a problem. He's a territorial person, you see, and everything could potentially be a threat; even college.

― As a result, he undoubtedly mentions the whole 'lemme buy your graduation credentials for you' plan very, very, very often. On the daily. Tries to practically muscle you into it, not taking 'no' for an answer, having a whole onslaught of reasons why his standpoint is correct and why you're, in his opinion, making this harder for yourself than it really should be; he comes off strangely compelling and logical about it too. Why spend years and years on this when he knows the right people who know the right people. Not that Terry Silver's against education; on, in the public eye he's the patron of all causes noble (supposedly), so clap in awe of him, except, in his own private life he's just too greedy to share those he considers his. Too possessive to be eclipsed. Look at you; your face is breaking out in zits from the stress, oh, beloved; that right there, among many other factors is a tool of manipulation Terry might use to have you capitulate and let him have his ways because these pricks and punks are here stressing his beloved out to the degree the stress is physically manifesting all over their face. There should be hell to pay for that. He wants revenge on your behalf.

― But then again, as an upside Terry Silver does enjoy having a beloved currently in college because for the lack of a better word, it's hot, regardless if this is a very young post-Nam era Twig, 80's Terry Silver or old man Terry, the fact beloved's still in education has major fetishistic qualities for him and not to lie, said fetishistic quality only ripens and gets stronger as he ages. Old man Terry, for example, is fully aware the fact he's with someone who's still in college would raise eyebrows, run into critique and even downright judgement and disgust but he doesn't care and in fact, he relishes in it for that specific reason. It's quite literally a trope as ancient as can be and he realizes this, playing into it majorly; an older man and the student. Just the sound of that makes him gleeful and turned on and while he might be meddlesome and feel jealousy over the actual educational aspect of...you know, getting an education, the sound of it suits him far better than the practical aspects. Suffice to say he's as invested in this as beloved themselves is, if not more. Everything beloved does is something Terry himself is overinvested in more than beloved.

― Means that while he'd might wanna keep beloved away from school, or invent tactical shortcuts to the whole process by pretty much buying everything for them and presenting it on a silver platter (because, why not, if he can?), but he sure likes the sound of beloved being in college and regardless if beloved consents to this or not he will absolutely meddle, one way or another, into all of this. He'll be there making donations to the university, becoming a backer and a sponsor for various projects around campus, he'll be attending opening ceremonies, holding speeches, probably opens a Karate extracurricular headed by Cobra Kai just to drill the point home that this is now his territory through you and if it's at all possible, he'll invest so much into this philanthropic deeds around this college that these people will have no choice put to put up his framed picture in the lobby. It's like Terry Silver's presence infects everything it touches. Beloved's only a freshman and my god, the man they're with is already in everything. People who fight against it or speak up on the subject? Promptly fired. Maybe they get embroidered in a convenient scandal not of their making if Terry decides that's more fun for him.

― It's obsessive, yeah, but Terry loves beloved. Adores them. In his own messed up, dark way, sure. This is how his devotion manifests; this university? Better be honored to have someone his within their walls. That he's allowing beloved to grace this place at all. Better give them a preferential treatment as a result. They better be just as biased as he is. Yeah, they better be afraid on the downlow because he's butter up, shake everyone's hand, lowkey threaten everyone, bribe whoever he feels needs it and weave everyone into their web to ensure this happens. You want this education? You'll have it. And you'll have it however you want on whatever terms. He could've bought it for you and he's infinitely disappointed you didn't accept that route (or...maybe you did) but these people will worship the very ground beloved walks upon because he'll ensure that happens through his power and influence; the long reach he has. Might not be immediately apparent, but when you're loved by someone as influential as Terry Silver, it pays off. When your significant other's picture hangs in the hallway? People tend to notice. Might just make you valedictorian by the end of your educational career because Silver money just lined the halls of that school.

― Nothing's for free, see? Beloved does graduate with exemplary grades and achievements regardless if they actually did or if, uh, the system of said university got a couple of well meaning nudges in the right direction, if you catch my meaning. If Terry made the right people a couple of offers they couldn't refuse. They're their generation's best student. Probably got handled multiple accolades and awards too simply because Terry had the itch to see them happy and beaming. And he'd do it. He'd do anything to make them content and fulfilled. He's undoubtedly with them, right there on that stage once they graduate because he's invited up to hold a speech. An audience of hundreds of students know beloved belongs to him. Heck, they might even know a great many of these achievements are a source of complete and utter nepotism, but Terry doesn't care. He's amused by it. Totally gleeful like a smug snake. He laps it all up. Sees it as feeding fuel. He crapped over the system in effect in the name of devotion. Beloved's all smiles. Terry's won in their name by any means neccessary. So, that's all that matters to him. If they said 'burn down the campus' he'd just as easily do that as well, so everyone should count their blessings all beloved wanted was a diploma and a graduation cap and not blood.

― 'Perfect' Terry would purr looking over beloved's immaculately perfect grades in the back of his limousine he's totally bribed out of the professors for them. All the better if beloved's just naturally that accomplished and talented, but my god, if they aren't, the whole world's gonna be what Terry Silver wants it to be because he'll make it so.

[sevensoulmates]

7x05 Buddie Meta YDKM Part 3 (of 4)

Part 1. Part 2. Part 4.

Eddie. I cannot stress this enough. If this was a partner that you actually had a good relationship with, you could go home and talk to them, tell them your feelings. Hell, you should feel safe enough just to say, "hey, I don't feel like having sex right now" and your partner should be able to accept it.

Why does the idea of saying no to sex terrify Eddie? There is a stigma that men are always supposed to want sex, and when they don't, that automatically means something's wrong, either with the man or with their partner. A lot of women might think they're the problem. One could argue maybe he doesn't want Marisol to feel bad, but if that was the case, then he would be doing his damndest to reassure her that he just needs a minute with the nun thing and not to take it personally. Instead, he avoids her, doesn't respond to her messages, and now--looks very panicked at the idea of her possibly trying to initiate sex with him. Which is kind of hilarious because what makes you think she even wants to have sex with you right now after you've been avoiding her all day?

This is another interesting line because it suggests that Eddie finds sex to be a chore. An obligation. Something he must provide his partner in order to keep them satisfied, and something that he's always done just to please his partner. I'm not saying he gets no pleasure from sex with women, but it doesn't feel to me like sex is really something Eddie really likes all that much just for himself if it's something "he'll get through somehow." I understand that this is a joke on Buck's end, but it's still written into the show on purpose, and sometimes jokes are just ways to cover up speaking the truth.

I want to talk some more now about Perception, specifically how both Buck and Eddie felt perceived this episode in ways that made them uncomfortable. For Buck, he was experiencing for the first time what it feels like for the world at large to perceive him as a queer man. Seeing eyes everywhere when no one was really watching. And for Eddie, it's the same, except instead of society perceiving him it's God. Both society and "God" are both entities that are known to be judgemental overall. But my question is, why does Eddie feel judged for sleeping with a woman who never even made the final steps to become a nun?

Buck is right, if God is an omniscient presence he would've always been watching, so why now does the idea of an All Powerful Being perceiving Eddie having relations with a woman terrify him so much? Is he afraid of "someone" knowing what actually runs through his head when he's being intimate with a woman? Is he ashamed that he's not actually as into it as he appears to be? Maybe now that the catholic guilt has been brought back up in Eddie consciousness, the thoughts are spilling through, and he's not able to stop them this time, and he's scared that someone, God, or society, or whoever, will see that he's not actually as into women as he wants people to believe. All of this is something I don't think he's realized. It's just as much unconscious to him as Buck's bisexuality was to him last episode. But something is bound to happen that finally clarifies it for Eddie.

He comes to the conclusion that he has to break up with her. But when confronted, he says he doesn't actually want to break up with her. Why? Because she just moved in. Not because he "really likes her" or because "he wants to build a life with her" or because "he wants her there" or because "he wants a relationship with her", it's because it's inconvenient because she just moved in and it makes him look bad (honey, far too late). He doesn't actually want to be with Marisol, he just likes the idea of cohabitating because it gives the illusion of a family without actually having to put any effort into building and strengthening it. This is exactly like how in the scene previous, he admits to Bobby that he liked being married, not necessarily that he loved Shannon. He just loved being married to her. This is the exact same thing.

This showcases Eddie's fundamental misunderstanding of both Tommy AND Buck. He has his blinders on the entire episode, and he walks a fine line between just misunderstanding or being willfully ignorant. The same way he doesn't see Buck and Tommy's queerness is in my opinion, the same way he doesn't see his own queerness.

Eddie's facial expressions here--Gosh, hats OFF to Ryan!! He really looked like he was shaken to the core. Especially his face in the last still. You can tell he did not see it coming at all. Because for "manly men" like Eddie, Buck, and Tommy, he's probably never even thought of it being a possibility for people like them.

This is especially evident when his first thought is not of Buck being queer, but of Tommy. And I don't think this is because he's surprised more about Tommy, or is not putting enough emphasis on Buck. I think it's more so that Eddie is aware that Tommy and he have A LOT in common, so much so that Eddie probably heavily identified with Tommy, and to have this part of Tommy be something so "different" from what Eddie expected is more shocking to him in the moment. Because if a man like Tommy (Eddie's narrative mirror) is queer, then what does that say about Eddie? I think that's why his first thought is about Tommy.

It might also be because it's easier for Eddie to process Tommy's queerness in the moment than it is for him to process Buck's queerness. In the same way that Buck was so unsure of why he was so hesitant to tell Eddie, Eddie might be struggling to comprehend Buck's queerness and what that means for them and their relationship without appearing to be unsupportive.

Additionally, it's interesting that Tommy's queerness never came up in conversation since it seemed like Tommy and Eddie got pretty close and "clicked" in a very short period of time. Is it possible Tommy is supposed to contrast Buck here? Buck says "Tommy just doesn't offer that information up". Maybe Tommy is also aware of how supposed "straight" men react when they learn that someone like him is into men. It provides an interesting contrast to Buck, who was so anxious about telling Eddie because he worried about how it would affect their relationship in particular, whereas Tommy just opted not to tell him at all just because he doesn't tell people unless they ask.

Buck asks if this is weird for Eddie, but Buck is aware that Eddie is not a homophobic person, and therefore wouldn't need to be worried (like Tommy could've been since he's only just met them both three weeks ago). Buck's known Eddie for six years, he knows Eddie knows plenty of queer people and has never had an adverse reaction to them. But this is personal because Buck knows that he's one of, if not the closest adult in Eddie's life. If Eddie is uncomfortable with Buck, it ruins their entire...everything. This says to me that Buck knew that by telling Eddie about this something would change, but he just doesn't know what.

I told myself if Eddie said any statements in this episode along this line, anything that felt like it was in the same vein as "no homo" that it would signal to me immediately that they were going to go there with Eddie's sexuality storyline, and this counts for me.

Eddie, it should be a given that you don't like Tommy in the same Buck does. No one in the room is accusing Eddie of being queer, and yet he says this all on his own for no reason other than to purposefully distance himself from queerness. All of which point to internalized homophobia. A person who was secure in their straight sexuality would not feel the need to clarify that they are straight (making it a bit about yourself there, huh, Eddie?) immediately after a close loved one just came out to you.

This is not a scenario where someone's coming on to Eddie and he has to say "no, sorry I'm not into men." This isn't someone asking him point blank, "are you gay?" and he says no. Nowhere in this conversation was there anything that Buck said that could've made Eddie feel like he was also being accused of queerness and yet Eddie feels the need to make it known that is in fact, not gay.

Eddie, a confident straight man, should understand that this convo is about Buck's queerness, not whether or not Eddie is being perceived as queer. This coming right after he looked so shocked about Tommy, when the last two episodes spent a lot of time painstakingly telling us that HEY! HEY! EDDIE AND TOMMY ARE SUPER ALIKE!

Eddie. My guy. Your queer realization arc is coming and of that I am certain.

This line read to me in the same way as the line in 7x01: "but with only one [gender] is there underlying sexual tension". This line, spoken by Buck, was disproven in episode 4. This line here from Eddie is put there to eventually be challenged. This line has two meanings, which is that of course the foundation of their friendship will not change because of Buck's queerness, but it does signal to the audience that some part of their relationship will change. What could that be? The only thing that makes sense at this point in the story is for the romantic aspect of their storyline to finally be explored. I think this is foreshadowing that story that's likely going to come at some point down the line. I don't know if it'll be this season, but it's going to come, of that I'm sure now.

Bucktommy as a direct parallel to Eddiemarisol is so interesting because whereas with Buck you can tell that he genuinely has interest in Tommy, it's heavily juxtaposed by how uninterested in Marisol Eddie has acted pretty much since the second they got together in season 6. Even Eddie's face here looks like he's thinking "wish I knew what that felt like". Don't get me wrong, I do think that Eddie wants a real connection, but I think he thinks that if he just stays with a woman for long enough one will just develop through proximity alone. But that's not how relationships work. It didn't work with Shannon and their relationship continued to be dysfunctional until the day she died. It didn't work with Ana, but that time, his physical reactions were enough to get him to break up with her. With Marisol, I think Eddie's at his patience end. He doesn't want to give up and be alone again. Or worse, have to start trying all over again. He doesn't want to fail again, because failing this time not only means failing himself but failing Christopher as well.

We just saw in 7x01 that Christopher believed that it wouldn't matter what he did, people (girlfriends in this case) would always leave. Christopher learned this from Eddie. Eddie deciding to stick it out with Marisol is both him desperately trying to grasp onto the possibility of a connection, but also a way to prove to himself and to Christopher that not all relationships have to end.

But in this case, Eddie's advice makes sense for Buck, because he's literally in the early stages of this relationship with Tommy, he's still trying to get to know Tommy, and he's trying to adjust to queerness for the first time in his life. For Eddie, this is at minimum a 4-6 month old relationship, one that he's just randomly decided to take "to the next level" and he did all of this without bothering to get to know Marisol AT ALL. That ENTIRE time. While it's true that Buck hasn't yet had a chance to figure it out what it is with Tommy, Eddie has had many chances before but has chosen not to take them. And I think when faced with the reality that he would giving up on yet another relationship, the prospect of failing yet again, he decides to go against what his gut is telling him and stays with Marisol.

I love that Eddie realized before he left that Buck needed physical assurance and gave it to him. This is their first hug in many seasons and it's a beautiful one. Eddie puts his thumb on Buck's pulse yet again, and I'm sure that was a very reassuring thing to feel, to know that Eddie still cares that deeply for him. He even puts his finger up and tells Buck to call Tommy, showing his support for Buck's relationship with Tommy, which was never a question that he would do. Because it's no question that Eddie loves Buck to the core, and he will always want Buck to be happy. He just hasn't figured out that his own happiness is possible specifically with Buck.

This entire scene also was physically blocked very similar to the scene in the episode right before, the scene that ended with Tommy kissing Buck. The only difference here was the topic of conversation and the fact that it ended in a hug and not a kiss. Buck lets out a sigh of relief as Eddie leaves, exactly the same way he let out a sign of relief after realizing his attraction to men.

Marisol's possessions in this episode have been a metaphor for who she is. Eddie's choice to look in the boxes at the beginning of the episode was him finally dipping his toe into learning who she is and he was uncomfortable with what he saw there, not because of Marisol, but because it reminded him that he's not being true to himself in this relationship. And now, he's given another chance here at the end. Marisol's metaphorical box is open, and an invitation for Eddie to take to get to know her more, and instead of wanting to get to know her, he says he "doesn't want to know what's in there". He admits that not only does he not know Marisol, but he doesn't WANT to get to know her.

In the same way, Eddie doesn't know the truth of who he is, he doesn't want to find out the truth. He doesn't want to open the pandora's box inside him and wade through the shit until he finds the tiny little bit of hope. Eddie would rather close the box and leave it closed and keep this relationship with Marisol going rather than try to dig deeper to figure out the real reason why this whole issue happened.

Marisol's reasons for not telling Eddie about the nun thing herself are understandable. She was worried about judgment, rejection, or possible fetishization. It makes sense to me why Eddie, in the end, was able to ask for just a minute to digest it. I think he realized that in the end, the nun thing isn't the whole dealbreaker here, it's something else. Something he's not willing to examine at this time. And since he's realized that the problem isn't Marisol, but him, he can move past the weirdness, and accept Marisol.

Because it's not Marisol he's accepting or rejecting, but the promise of a continued relationship in the future.

Marisol offers him a chance to back out, and you can tell that his first instinct (his "gut" reaction) is to take it. And yet....he adds a "yet". He keeps her on the hook, and he ignores the signs his gut is telling him. In an episode written partially by Taylor Wong who laid all the same "the universe is screaming" and "I do not panic" story threads, Eddie is once again ignoring them and going against his gut despite what he says next.

Eddie tells Marisol that he tends to rush his relationships, and this is true. Despite Eddie being so stubborn and hard to get to know most of the time when it comes to his romantic relationships, he over-commits. I've already talked about how he did the same thing with all of his relationships, including Shannon. He over-commits and under-delivers. I'm glad that they're pointing this out textually in canon because it's true and it's a large part of the issue, even though the root of it is not yet being explored.

However, him saying he "goes with his gut" and lets his head catch up later, is both a true and false statement. When it comes to his romantic relationships Eddie purposely ignores his gut, each and every time. When his gut tells him that he shouldn't bring Shannon back into his life, he ignores it (though this situation is a bit more nuanced). When his gut tells him something's wrong with his relationship with Ana, he says he's going to stick it out anyway. When his gut tells him to end things with Marisol, he doubles down.

The true part of this statement is that he lets his head catch up later. But the thing is that when his body tries to show him later on that something is wrong, whether that be through panic attacks or sexual dysfunction, he continues to ignore it or refuses to dig into it deeper. He still hasn't confronted the truth of his unhealthy relationship with Shannon. He didn't examine why his relationship with Ana didn't work, and he's not questioning himself deeply enough to ask why he's so deeply uncomfortable in his relationship with Marisol.

One thing is for sure, Eddie is an unreliable narrator. He has a hard time understanding his feelings let alone communicating them, and therefore whenever he says statements like these, I think it's worth it to always question it. Does it actually feel like he's telling the truth from a place of understanding, or from a place of what he wishes he could feel?

Go to part four (last part).

Part 1, Part 2, Part 4

[sydsaint]

Working on a survivor series fic for the trio so have this to tide y'all over until then.

Summary: Adam Pearce enlists the help of the Smackdown GM and her trio of boyfriends to handle Rhea Ripley and The Judgment Day.

You're sitting in your office enjoying lunch while answering a few work emails when someone knocks on the door.

"Come in." You call out, mouth half-full of food. "Adam? I wasn't expecting to see you today, Pearce. Did I miss an email about a meeting or something?" You swallow your food and glance at your laptop.

"No, no meeting." Pearce shakes his head and shuts the door behind him. "I saw you come in early and was hoping that we could chat. If you're not busy, of course." He explains.

You gesture to the empty seat in front of Adam and he takes a seat. You push your laptop off to the side of your desk and turn your attention to your fellow general manager. "I'm just having lunch, nothing important. So, what's up?" You ask him.

"Well, Y/N, if I'm being completely honest with you, I have a favor to ask of you." Pearce gets straight to the point.

"Oh?" You reply, curiosity piqued. "Alright, what can I do for you?" You ask him.

Pearce hesitates for a moment, unsure if he even wants to ask you for help. But he needs it. So he swallows his pride and gets to his point.

"I'm sure that you've been at least keeping up with Raw these past few months since I took over?" Pearce asks you and you nod. "Well, then you must know that Rhea Ripley and the rest of Judgment Day have been causing me grief." He adds.

"Oh yeah, I don't envy you there, Pearce." You tease him lightheartedly. "Kind of makes you miss dealing with Roman's BS, doesn't it?" You laugh.

Pearce lets out a small chuckle and shakes his head. "Not a chance in hell." He smiles at you. "But back to my point. I know that this must sound terribly desperate and in poor taste on my part. But, to be frank? I'm out of options."

"Alright." You nod. "So, what do you need me for?" You urge your colleague to get to the point already.

"Y/N, I'm here to ask if you'd consider helping me in handling Rhea and the rest of Judgement Day," Pearce explains.

Your eyebrows raise a bit in surprise. "Help you how exactly, Adam?" You prompt him.

"Rhea is the main problem that I'm facing, but as a man, there's only so much I can do when it comes to her behavior. But if a woman was to confront her. Specifically one in a position of power equal to my own. Then I believe that I might have a better chance of reigning her in." He explains.

"So essentially you want me to come over to Raw and put Ripley in her place?" You clarify for yourself. "Knock her down a beg so she's not such a pain in the ass for you all the time?"

Pearce nods and confirms your clarification. You study his face and can tell that there's something more that he'd like to ask you.

"Yes, essentially," Adam confirms. "I was also hoping that you might enlist a certain trio to aid with Damian, Finn, Dominik, and JD." He adds suggestively.

"Right." You crack a smile. "Well, you do seem desperate coming to me for help." You tease Pearce with a smile. "So, I'd love to help out, Adam."

Pearce seems slightly surprised by your willingness to help him out. "Really? Thank you, Y/N." He smiles eagerly at you.

"Of course, Adam. What are friends for? Just let me make a quick phone call." You pick up your phone and dial a number. "Hey, yeah I know I'm at work right now. Listen, I need you to come down to my office right now...Yes for work." You roll your eyes. "Mhm, and bring the two stooges with you. Alright, thanks. Mhm, love you too, bye."

You hang up the phone and turn back to Adam waiting patiently for your conversation to continue. "They'll be here soon." You inform him.

"That fast?" Adam replies.

"What can I say?" You giggle. "They're good boys. Always come when called." You joke.

You chat with Pearce for a while and finish up your lunch. Then, around half an hour later, a knock sounds at the door again.

"Come in!" You shout and turn your attention to the door.

"I grabbed Waller and Theory from the gym. So what's up sweetheart? What did you need all three of us for?" Knight walks into the room first and is quick to spot Adam sitting behind the desk with you. "What's Pearce doing here?"

You wait for Grayson and Austin to both file into the room after Knight. Austin shuts the door behind him and the two turn their attention on you before you speak up.

"Thank you for getting here so fast, Shaun, sweetie. And picking up Gray and Austin for me." You thank him with a smile.

"Yeah, no problem, hun." Knight nods. "So, are you going let us in on what you've got going on here?" He asks you.

Austin and Grayson share a small look before they both nod in agreement with Knight. "Yeah, what's he doing here?" Grayson points a finger at Pearce.

"It's a pleasure seeing you all again." Pearce nods to everyone.

"Pearce and I were just having lunch and discussing some business." You begin to explain the situation. "Adam has been having some trouble with Rhea Ripley and the Judgment Day. And he's requested our, or rather, my help. So, you three are coming to Raw this Monday with me. I'm going to handle Rhea, and you three are going to help Pearce with the rest of her entourage." You explain.

Knight, Waller, and Theory all turn to one another and share a few glances before they all turn back to you and Pearce. "What if we're busy on Monday?" Grayson asks.

"You're not." You reply plainly. "I have all three of your work schedules. And I also know your personal plans for the rest of the month." You remind them. "Austin has a mandatory physical next Wednesday. And Shaun has a PR thing on Tuesday. Besides that? The three of you are mine to order around."

"Well, she's got us there." Knight chuckles. "We'd be happy to help out, Y/N, of course." He grins at you.

You nod and turn to Pearce. "Well then, it looks like we've got a deal then, Adam." You reach out to shake his hand. "We can discuss the details of our little arrangement later. But for now, I'll be seeing you on Monday in Kansas City." You shake his hands firmly.

"Pleasure doing business with you, Y/N." Pearce nods. "I look forward to seeing you all on Monday." He adds before he makes his swift exit from your office.

The door clicks shut and the onslaught of questions starts to pour in. "What did he mean by arrangement?" Austin asks you.

"Just a little trade we've got going on. Nothing you three need to worry about." You reply.

"How are you planning on handling Rhea?" Grayson asks you. "I mean, if Pearce can't keep her in line?"

You smile to yourself and laugh a little. "Oh, I've got my ways." You assure Waller. "Rhea won't be a problem for Adam anymore when I'm done with her, trust me."

"Which one of us are you planning on traveling with this time?" Knight asks his own question.

You shrug and glance at your laptop when it pings with a new message. "Probably you so I don't have to share a room with those two again." You tease Grayson and Austin. "They get all possessive when it comes to who gets to share the bed with me." You giggle. 

"Now hold on a second." Grayson protests.

"Yeah! We can get along for the night." Austin agrees. "Why don't you travel with us, Y/N?" He whines with Grayson.

You roll your eyes playfully and shake your head. "You two also get up to the most nonsense when you're on the road." You remind them. "And I don't need distractions when I'm trying to work?"

"Oh, so I'm not a distraction now?" Knight chimes in.

"You're plenty distracting, sweetie." You reply. "Just in a different way." You assure him. "Now all of you out! I've got another meeting soon." You usher the trio toward the door.

Austin, Grayson, and Knight all nod and head for the door, knowing better than to interfere with work. "We'll see you later, Y/N." Knight waves before he steps out the door.

"Yeah, take care, babe," Austin adds.

"We'll see you later, gorgeous." Grayson winks at you.

[marshemillow]

phone addiction is actually a real specific issue that has been researched. I would recommend reading "How to Break Up With Your Phone" by Catherine Price. Not for the advice, obviously since you don't have that problem, but it's a very thorough resource that compiles many studies. This is at the beginning of the book before the guide. It's actually a genuine problem for many people gen x and younger that is specifically about the phone itself and not the content being consumed.

See? This is what I mean when I say I must be living in a different dimension than everyone else.

Okay so I looked up the book you recommended, and already I found some weird self-help guru red flags, but let's not even focus on that because science is science. I can't just get the book and read it right this second, but I did look up a synopsis and a few reviews. I didn't see any references to studies, but I did see people giving a rundown of the book's content and what to expect, and apparently the entire first half of it is just dedicated to fear mongering about how cell phones will ruin your life and destroy your attention span and your ability to feel accomplished and dopamine is addictive and social media makes you depressed and blah blah blah honestly Jesus Christ if you've already picked up the book, chances are you don't need it hammered home even harder that you're basically going to die early because you didn't delete the Facebook app off your phone. Why is the judgemental fear mongering necessary?

Here's the thing; Third spaces don't exist anymore. Roads are dangerous to play on and even ride your bike across, every public place requires you to pay for transportation to even get to, and even just STANDING is illegal (loitering). People have even mentioned that their phone addiction only got so bad after the pandemic started, meaning they're turning to their phone for any kind of social connection being stuck at home. I definitely understand, I used to have really severe agoraphobia I'm still recovering from. Without places outside to hang out with friends, especially if you don't have a driver's license or a job yet, talking to your friends online is the only option.

Does it rot your brain to talk to your friends? Why is it automatically assumed that screen friendships are less worthwhile than face-to-face ones? If social media isn't the problem but having a phone is, then what the fuck is it about the phone itself that causes grey matter to erode!? Has my brain been fucked playing Professor Layton this whole time!?

Obviously, this is just cursory research, I'm not exactly doing proper journalism here, and I'm not saying phone addiction doesn't exist or that it isn't a problem, I just remain unconvinced it's a bad enough problem all on its own to warrant mass concern about it. There are definitely people who have an unhealthy relationship with their phone and with technology, and the ease of access phones create could definitely exacerbate a problem already brewing, but to say that that means phones are addictive? I don't know. It just seems like too much of a stretch to me, that's all I'm saying.

I might still read that book though. It's definitely got me curious.