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arthurtristankingsmen · 4 years ago

Text

More and longer theory chatter with @flash-the-geist with guest stars who popped in. This one is longer since it’s theorizing but turned into something Flash affectionately named the ‘Esprestissimo AU’ which I am keeping because I love it so much.

Most of this mainly features Duet thoughts and then shenanigans ! The most I did was add a missing thing in my own comments for clarification or that my brain skipped over when typing it before, or where I adjust the order of the messages for cohesiveness

please enjoy jdjd

flaaaash — Today at 4:35 AM

hmmm what if the note-taker is Duet, taking notes about "Solo"? that implies they're two different people

Arthur — Today at 4:36 AM

that's what i was thinking-- that the ‘He’ in the note is reverb, and this note is in reference to reverb, but also a comment on Solo, and the Duet 'wrote' this character profile as like-- a case file if they're in charge of the organization

so duet is like 'solo' claims she still needs to study him for research in a note on the file he's taking on reverb or something like that

flaaaash — Today at 4:37 AM

this might be my deep, unfortunate familiarity with bureaucracy talking, but- if the person in charge is also the one taking notes, it's a very small organization

Arthur — Today at 4:37 AM

oh yeah

i imagined it was tiny personally

tempo seems on the smaller side so if it's all based there, i was imagining it was relatively small

flaaaash — Today at 4:38 AM

not international then, perhaps

adkjfakjf oooh now I want to make a little card for Flash

Arthur — Today at 4:39 AM

yeah no-- at least since the name tempo of the town following the motif like seemingly implies it's based in/related to the town since if follows the reference style

or that's my thinking anyways?

flaaaash — Today at 4:39 AM

very true

imagine if Tempo is just Like That and the rest of the world is totally normal

Arthur — Today at 4:40 AM

i personally think vivi didn't grow up in tempo now more tho-- because i think if she did and there is an organization, they woulda gotten wind of her and she probably would've been recruited since she's smart and clearly into that kind of thing

and if she was in the org and knew what she was doing, i don't know if she would've gone to the cave if she was at all in the Know

flaaaash — Today at 4:40 AM

or they would have tried to study Mystery?

Arthur — Today at 4:41 AM

that too!!

even if they brought her in just because of mystery i imagine they would've brought her in

flaaaash — Today at 4:41 AM

maybe that's what the "her research into "REDACTED" is referring to. Research into mystery?

it all does seem to come back to him

Arthur — Today at 4:42 AM

or maybe she's relatively new to tempo still, and duet gave her a job because they intended to bring her in at some point but hadn't yet

like there were steps to take and like-- the cave happened before things could get fully underway

i mean at my job i applied in like-- march, and i didn't get an interview until may, and then i didn't get any training until november, and then i didn't get brought in to learn the job until december. so it'd be easy to imagine that if there was a reason, bringing her in could be a slow process

flaaaash — Today at 4:43 AM

that might also explain why there were all these "go back" signs in the cave

clearly someone with English language skills put the signage there

Arthur — Today at 4:43 AM

that too! it definitely felt like it was to warn off people and keep them from tresspassing

but the gang were kids and also ghost don't haunt the places that aren't super scary and dangerous! so of course they gotta go in!

flaaaash — Today at 4:45 AM

maybe they weren't expecting someone like Vivi at all

she was a wild card that popped up and threw a spanner in the works accidentally

Arthur — Today at 4:45 AM

yeah!

i can imagine her just coming in and completely bamboozling everyone

duet is like 'okay we'll get her in on this but we'll take some time to sort everything and judge where she's at skill wise since we have time and it's not like she can get into any danger with all our protective me--oh no'

flaaaash — Today at 4:48 AM

that calls Duet's motivation into question a lil bc - there's at least a significant amount of time between Lewis dying and them finding him again

since their search is reasonably extensive and Arthur's had time to heal up. So why didn't Duet do anything during this time?

Arthur — Today at 4:50 AM

hmmmm--- well we know it's been less than a year since the cave happened at least, and i think the way Ben talked about it sounded like it was a relatively short time table of only a few months, so maybe they wanted to give them recovery time or they weren't sure how to broach it-- i'm not sure. maybe the comic will give some kind of insight hopefully if the case is that vivi came in like that

i feel like it'd be interesting and make more sense given what she has available magic wise and mystery-wise if she wasn't in town until much later in life to explain why she wouldn’t already be working with the organization. but i'm still like hmm

because you do have a point that there would be a fair bit of inaction, unless for some reason vivi's memory issues or something was a problem or something happens in the prequel to explain or hint

tho now that brings into question if duet knows Lewis is dead, how are things not being managed better

i mean i've had arthur say in the past and i've said once or twice that like-- i think arthur was already working with prosthetics. so he could've had an arm mostly built and just had to make a more functioning one so that could've been fast. so hopefully maybe the prequel comic is set a bit before and might explain duet helping or something in a way that could make sense of it?

especially given he did make galaham's wheels already and such. he might've already built one but needed to make a new one set up for him

flaaaash — Today at 4:54 AM

I'm fairly sure people would at least know he's missing

I guess it's possible that the 'memory magic' thing that makes Vivi forget - it could affect everyone except Arthur and Mystery?

Arthur — Today at 4:56 AM

that's possible--

we have only seen mystery and arthur in the world seeming to know what's going on, so we don't know who knows what. just that vivi doesn't know lewis

but maybe nobody else does either to some degree

flaaaash — Today at 4:56 AM

Arthur being possessed at the time, and Mystery being a magical being himself. We don't have any evidence that anyone else remembers Lewis, although he seems to still be in pictures

Arthur — Today at 4:57 AM

people did seem confused arthur was freaking out in the store in the comic and like

idk. if i knew he lost his best friend i'd be more sympathetic/not look at him like he was crazy. I’d assume something set him off but probably feel bad for him if i knew what happened in the last year?

because i would imagine mental health is in the toilet after going on a trip and losing a friend even if he was only 'missing'

and the way arthur mentioned lewis and when vivi forgets he's just like 'nevermind'. if no one really remembers Lewis, then maybe giving up trying to explain is because he’s used to no one knowing who he means

flaaaash — Today at 4:58 AM

yea h

Arthur — Today at 4:58 AM

what if arthur only remembers lewis? (and mystery does)

Don't forget to take your meds ❤ — Today at 4:58 AM

In fairness most people would be confused if they saw someone having a panic attack in public, no matter how much was known about the person

flaaaash — Today at 4:58 AM

also if Lewis looked like himself for a moment just before dropping Arthur - does that mean Lance saw him?

or did he only see skele-version and thus didn't recognize him as Lewis

Arthur — Today at 4:58 AM

hmmmmm--- i lean to skele vision. he turned back pretty quick iirc

flaaaash — Today at 4:59 AM

I'm torn between analysing between a storyteller perspective and an in-world perspective

Arthur — Today at 5:01 AM

por que no los dos?

also

hmmm-- i think given people were like 'what's up with that guy', it seemed either not knowing what was going on with him or what it could stem from, but if lewis disappeared in a small town i feel like a lot of the details would've spread. so they might assume it had to do with that instead-- so it feels like maybe most people don't know

which seems strange in a smaller community because stuff gets around

flaaaash — Today at 5:01 AM

especially since the Peppers own a restaurant

Arthur — Today at 5:01 AM

yeah-- in a small town place a restuarant is usually a social hub of sorts

so if lewis disppeared i'm sure people would talk given he was a waiter and thus kind of a face for the restaurant

flaaaash — Today at 5:02 AM

also if they think he's missing and not dead, his family would be looking for him too. which means missing persons pics and all that

Arthur — Today at 5:02 AM

yeah and we didn’t see any. and some people not knowing or visitors i could get, but everyone seemed surprised by arthur freaking out, and if they knew lewis was missing and lewis and arthur were friends, it feels odd to like-- none of them to even look sympathetic

i would imagine if they knew lewis was gone they'd assume arthur would be more emotionally reactive than usual-- unless they have no idea that something is going on with arthur because you know-- lewis is erased jdjd

i mean the reason we know vivi doesn't remember is because her eyes glowed as lewis got phased out of the photo

but who knows maybe him being phased out was in general and that just meant she was affected too. everyone gets amnesia

flaaaash — Today at 5:03 AM

also slightly cracky theory but - if they ended up accidentally in the research facility during Ghost, that would explain why Vivi found a fully-stocked fridge alkja;gl

Arthur — Today at 5:04 AM

DSJDDLJSDLFJDSJL

that would be hilarious

lewis is his own scp in his tantrum mansion

they just keep an eye on the lot

flaaaash — Today at 5:05 AM

well what else are they gonna do with him??? xD

Arthur — Today at 5:05 AM

dslsdjdsfljdsfd

''welp no one knows who this guy is soooooo manor in the middle of nowhere time'

flaaaash — Today at 5:06 AM

"so the waiter turned into a vengeful spirit?" "oh uhhhh ok put him in a box i guess until we figure something out?"

ok theory- Duet knows Lewis is dead, but is trying to figure out a way to help/break the memory magic on Vivi, and that's why he's in the mansion/cave for a while before Ghost?

Arthur — Today at 5:06 AM

i like it! i think them knowing and approaching arthur in the comic and using 'rancid vibes' as an excuse would make sense

flaaaash — Today at 5:07 AM

"so that Vivi person wandered in again somehow and now the vengeful waiter ghost is loose?" "for fuck's sake you had ONE JOB-"

Arthur — Today at 5:07 AM

they know what's actually going on but they kinda act like everyone else while also getting arthur something that might help him in that book that i think will be important in the plot of the prequel

DL;G;HDGSAL;HKGSDHL;DGS

flash you have the biggest brain

flaaaash — Today at 5:08 AM

,kadjgalgkj

"also there was this killer tree-" "I do not care about the tree, one problem at a time"

Poor Duet is having A Week

but the mental image of them trying to avoid Arthur and Vivi investigating, while trying to find ??? and re-capture him while shoving Lewis in a box is hilarious, and then they run into Shiromori and just throw their hands in the air like "can u not????". And then Murder Mystery shows up and they just quit

Arthur — Today at 5:10 AM

dlaajldkljjdl;dldjlfkfd

duet is just like

on their tenth cup of coffee

Don't forget to take your meds ❤ — Today at 5:10 AM

Arthur: Those are rookie numbers

Arthur — Today at 5:11 AM

they see murder mystery and go back inside the shop like 'can you add like 5 espresso shots to this'

flaaaash — Today at 5:11 AM

explains why they're like "Arthur pls your vibes. Do you KNOW what I've been dealing with"

Arthur — Today at 5:11 AM

asdl;;dfslhsdahg;as;dghkghsdllhsgd

flaaaash — Today at 5:11 AM

"five extra shots and a red bull chaser please-"

Arthur — Today at 5:12 AM

(also just still crosses my fingers for medium/spiritually-sensitive!arthur to be canon but if not it will live on in my fannon)

dsldjllssfdf

they just start shoving coffee grounds directly into their mouth

flaaaash — Today at 5:12 AM

this series has a lot of antagonists

akjdalgj just crunching beans down whole

Arthur — Today at 5:13 AM

i need-- to draw duet

looking tired with a coffee

flaaaash — Today at 5:14 AM

Duet with a giant cup of coffee, staring at Murder Mystery with a deadpan stare and going "Absolutely not, I forbid it, there is not enough coffee in the WORLD."

Arthur — Today at 5:14 AM

flash and will if i share this chatter on tumblr would you be okay with it ? or would u rather i block out names if i do

i feel like some of this is hilarious and people need to experience it

flaaaash — Today at 5:14 AM

akdflaf no go for it

I will out myself as a sham of a storyboarder

Arthur — Today at 5:15 AM

duet is that gif of the ghost busters lady going 'mmm nope not today, room full of nightmares'

and turning and walking away

duet is doing their best and needs a nap

tired as Arthur

flaaaash — Today at 5:15 AM

Duet walking around the corner to see the gang facing down Murder Mystery: swivels on one foot and goes right back the way they came

Arthur — Today at 5:15 AM

ldjldljd EXACTLY

Don't forget to take your meds ❤ — Today at 5:16 AM

Heheheheh

Arthur — Today at 5:16 AM

like look at this person

look at their eyebags

they are Tired

they have deal with this bullshittery

they have sass to provide

but they also are Tired and done with this shit

flaaaash — Today at 5:16 AM

I want Duet and Arthur playing a game of caffeine chicken

Marshy — Today at 5:16 AM

Huge massive sigh as they see the whole bullshit situation go down and turns around to go back to the bookshop

flaaaash — Today at 5:16 AM

just lined up at the cafe bar, espresso shots in rows down the counter as they lock eyes-

who shall win- the CAFFEINE-OFF?

Arthur — Today at 5:17 AM

flash

pls if you right that i will pay you money

or maybe art

Marshy — Today at 5:17 AM

It's me I'll win

flaaaash — Today at 5:17 AM

SLFKJLKGS

Arthur — Today at 5:17 AM

dlasd;sdgkd;djslj;dags

i'm rooting for you take those nerds OUT

flaaaash — Today at 5:18 AM

"Duet gives him a look of Supreme Weariness and Nopery. Arthur counters with a double eye-roll of Resignation and Angst. In the true synchronicity of the Absolutely Done, they each take an espresso shot and slam it down."

Arthur — Today at 5:20 AM

djdasd;ds;lsda;ldj;lkdsl;jkdsj;lkasljkdjlkdg

they clink the little cups together first before taking their respective shots

flaaaash — Today at 5:21 AM

they do the thing where they turn it upside down to prove it's empty

by the fifth they're trying to outcompete each other with anecdotes

by the tenth they've moved onto toasting each other

Arthur — Today at 5:21 AM

Bonding!

Don't forget to take your meds ❤ — Today at 5:22 AM

The anecdotes get concerningly similar to each others

flaaaash — Today at 5:22 AM

by the twelfth, Arthur begins weeping. Duet pats him in solidarity and knocks the next shot clean off the counter due to caffeine-induced twitching

Arthur — Today at 5:22 AM

DSGLAHGLDGHDGHAAHDSGDG

EXCELLENT

want them to be friends now

flaaaash — Today at 5:23 AM

by the thirteenth, the barista stages an intervention and starts giving them decaf

by this point, they don't notice

Arthur — Today at 5:23 AM

asdlaadjsdsajd

thank you they owe you their life

they could taste the difference if they weren't vibrating into the 28the dimension atm

flaaaash — Today at 5:24 AM

after the fifteenth shot, the counter is clear and they're both full of sympathetic outrage for the other's plight. They sprint from the cafe, steamroll right over Shiromori, and punt the colours right out of Murder Mystery in a fit of industrial-strength caffeinated indignance.

Don't forget to take your meds ❤ — Today at 5:24 AM

Hahahaha

Arthur — Today at 5:25 AM

h;lsadlf;dsldj;fsljl;dfsajdfsa

flaaaash — Today at 5:25 AM

The newly Monochromatic Mystery has to then help Vivi contain the pair before they wipe all paranormal activity off the face of Tempo.

Arthur — Today at 5:25 AM

that's how the fifth video ends

flaaaash — Today at 5:25 AM

Lewis narrowly escapes by hiding in a box. THE END

Arthur — Today at 5:25 AM

dsal;gsdhldgsa;dgsdgs;hldgs;lhdsa

beautiful thank u flash

i owe you my life

flaaaash — Today at 5:25 AM

you're welcome it's my magnum opus

Arthur — Today at 5:26 AM

A+ story telling

i'm including it in the post

flaaaash — Today at 5:26 AM

ALKJGAGK

it's okay I don't have a reputation to ruin xD

Arthur — Today at 5:26 AM

dlasdl;dhsgldgdgs

this is a callout for flash being the funniest person alive--

or undead

flaaaash — Today at 5:27 AM

dead-

sfkjga

Arthur — Today at 5:27 AM

djdjdjdj

i thought about it and corrected myself xDD

flaaaash — Today at 5:30 AM

ok I have no idea if anyone will get this pun, but I dub this the Esprestissimo AU

Arthur — Today at 5:36 AM

djalsd;ldsjdsjldf

i LOVE THAT

music puns but espressos EXTRA ESPRESSOLY

flaaaash — Today at 5:49 AM

#headcanon #msa headcanon discussion #tristan rambles #flashthegeist #IT WAS SO MUCH FUN #duet #arthur #vivi #long post #mystery skulls animated #mystery skulls #my original stuff

23 notes · View notes

kikizoshi · 5 years ago

Text

Fyolai OTP List

Original list taken from sonse’s The Ultimate OTP Questions List: Fyogol Edition

I urge anyone interested in my list to go look at sonse’s, too. They have a lot of cool takes. (There’re 48 questions in total.)

1. Who is the most affectionate?

Neither of them are super affectionate or touchy-feely, really.. I guess you could say that Fyodor’s more touchy, but even then it’s usually only fingertips… But yeah, usually there isn’t much touching in general.

2. Most common argument?

Argument… Well, it’s hard to really call it an argument. Usually, Nikolai’ll get upset at Fyodor not seeing him as a person or manipulating him and go off for a few days or weeks until he can come back and pretend he was never upset. Fyodor, for his part, doesn’t acknowledge it and just welcomes Nikolai back when he returns.

3. Who apologizes first?

Well... Fyodor's too arrogant to assume he's done something wrong, and Nikolai's too prone to brush past things he doesn't want to think about... So they kinda just leave it to fester in the corner and continue about their days.

4. Favorite (non-sexual) activity to do together?

It depends on the mood. But, most commonly, Fyodor's favourite activity is to curl up in a private place (library, nook, underground base, etc.) with Nikolai and read with him, each occasionally sharing thoughts or questions--or even conversations--about their individual books. Nikolai's favourite activity, however, is taking Fyodor out to a carnival, or the theatre, or a fair--something fun and flashy.

5. Who drives and who rides shotgun?

Public transportation~ (though, in cases where that's not possible, it just depends on location and need, so probably about 60/40 for Nikolai and Fyodor.)

6. Who is most likely to carry the other?

Nikolai's way more likely to carry Fyodor as, well, Fyodor'd struggle to lift someone his own weight. That being said, I don't see this happening unless out of necessity, as they're both fairly independent.

7. Nicknames?

Russian ones? Yes, probably. I imagine Nikolai'd call Fyodor Fedya (since he calls him Dos-kun in Japanese), and Fyodor... he'd probably just stick with the name Nikolai (or maybe “golubchik” (little dove) on rare occasions?).

8. Who proposes?

Ehh, I highly doubt they'd get married, since Nikolai's all 'society's norms are hellish brainwashing' and Fyodor likely just doesn't care (it’d be a hassle for nothing).

9. Who sings along to the radio?

Nikolai, though it's rarely lyrics since all Fyodor listens to is classical pieces or old operas Nikolai can't decipher. He'll hum along quite a lot, though.

10. Who worries most?

I feel like Nikolai's more of a worrier in general. Like, in his moments of downtime, with nothing to distract him from the futility of his goals, he'll worry and worry about what he should do, what he's doing, how what he'll do will affect the future, etc. Fyodor's more sure of himself, so I don't see him worrying about much. Maybe about Dazai, though...

11. Who always wants to take selfies with the other?

Nikolai would secretly like to (though not so secretly, considering how perceptive Fyodor is), but Fyodor won't let evidence of himself in a location be found, lest the picture be stolen and used against him. Nikolai usually doesn't mind, though, unless they're in a once-in-a-decade place. He complained about not being able to hold onto mental pictures like Fyodor once, when they went to see a travelling fair that was doing its last tour.

12. Who likes to playfully tease the other?

Nikolai, completely. He'll enter the room with a joke, and leave it that way too, as well as adding them in the whole way through. Fyodor, though, I'd say teases back almost as much, just more subtly and in response. Nikolai initiates the teasing, and Fyodor finishes it with a tease.

13. Who has the weirdest taste in music?

Depends on your definition of weird. Fyodor listens to mainly classical and old operas, stuff like that, whereas Nikolai's more into modern things with some sort of twist (experimental jazz or electric swing, for example). He also loves musical theatre.

14. Who remembers what the other always orders at a restaurant?

Well Fyodor remembers everything Nikolai's ever ordered when they were together... Using a word like 'always', though... Fyodor remembers what Nikolai ordered but Nikolai usually gets something different each time, and Fyodor's more uniform with his palate choices, but still tends towards trying out new things half the time. Fyodor could guess what Nikolai was going to get, though.

15. Who is embarrassed to take their clothes off in front of the other?

Hm, neither of them are.

17. Who initiates kisses?

Depends on the situation, so I'd say about 50/50. Neither of them are touchy-feely, as I've said, and kissing is only slightly more common than hugs for them. But, generally, Fyodor kisses Nikolai when Nikolai's having a rough day, or when he's trying to get Nikolai to want to do something. Nikolai kisses Fyodor when he's in a really good mood, or when he's really in a bad mood... I'm not sure how to put it properly though...

18. Who reaches for the other’s hand first?

They don’t, really.

19. Who kisses hardest?

I honestly don't know... I really liked the second half of sonse's answer though.

20. Who is most ticklish?

Nikolai.

21. Who brings an animal they found home?

Fyodor would kill the animal to put it out of its misery.

Nikolai would just walk past and think that there's no point in helping.

22. Who holds the umbrella for the other when it’s raining?

Nikolai, since he's taller and his arm doesn't tire as easily.

23. Who tries to playfully embarrass the other in public?

Neither, embarrassing each other isn't something they do.

24. Who kills the scary bugs?

I mean neither of them are afraid of bugs-

25. Who asks the weird questions at random in the middle of the night?

Nikolai'll wake up from any number of bizarre dreams, and, if Fyodor's still awake, he'll bring it up.

26. Who hogs the blankets?

Fyodor. If he's asleep, his subconscious will do all in its power to make him as warm and comfortable as possible, even if it means the freeze of his dear friend (Nikolai usually just ends up draping himself in his cape at that point).

27. Who wakes up first?

Nikolai wakes up first since he goes to sleep earlier, though he only wakes up first by about thirty minutes.

28. Who wants to stay in bed just a bit longer?

Depends... Fyodor's good about getting up when it's a workday, and on the rare day's he'll take off, he still usually gets up quickly to make the most of the day, and drags himself off to the shower. Nikolai, on the other hand... Well, it depends on several things. If he's alright or moderately alright, he'll get out of bed just fine. However, if he killed someone in the month or just, in general, can't stand himself, it'll be a lot harder to convince him to get up. Some days even a gun to his head won't get him out of bed.

29. Who always makes coffee for the other each morning?

Neither. Ivan makes Fyodor's tea and Nikolai makes his own.

30. Who cries during certain films or when reading sad books?

Haaaah, well I guess if Nikolai was in a really, really, really (and I mean REALLY) bad place, something might set him off, and a few tears may fall. It's super uncommon though--he usually just bottles his emotions until he can 'forget' about them.

31. Who gets scared during horror films?

Neither of them scares easily at all.

32. Who cuts the other’s hair?

They both cut their own.

33. Who says “I love you” first?

Fyodor says it first, as a way to get Nikolai fully on his side. Nikolai’s said it a few times, in despair, but always pretends it didn’t happen afterwards.

34. Who tells their friends/family about the relationship first?

Well there isn't really a 'relationship' to tell about? They don't classify their relationship as anything other than lovers and friends, and there’s really no point in mentioning it randomly.

35. What do their friends/family think about the relationship first?

Well... Pushkin hates Fyodor, always has and always will, and considering how their relationship started... Pushkin does have a reason. Goncharov doesn't care. Fyodor's mother and sister vaguely know about Nikolai. They've met him maybe once or twice, but they just know him as 'Fyodor's friend'. Turgenev... it's best to say that his relationship with Fyodor is... turbulent... but when they end up talking their conversations are usually very fascinating (if they can get over their mutual disdain, that is). Mishima flat-out couldn't care less, why is this being brought up to him?

36. Who is more likely to ask the other to dance with them?

Nikolai, probably, after being moved by Dostoyevsky's cello playing.

37. Who cooks best?

I'd say they're about the same.

38. Who wears the other’s jacket?

Neither. Nikolai needs his for his Ability and Fyodor's the one that gets cold easily. Nikolai does, however, keep a spare cloak in his Overcoat just in case (though whether or not he’ll offer it to Fyodor depends on his mood, and Fyodor never asks).

39. Who uses cheesy pickup lines?

Nikolai.

40. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times?

Both, but in different contexts. Nikolai spontaneously gets ideas from things around them, and excitedly likes to share them with Fyodor on a whim. Fyodor likes to respond to them with a small quip to encourage the idea, though he sometimes does them just in general if he's super bored at a social gathering or something. In any case, they usually do it in a language no one else around is likely to speak.

41. Who makes the other laugh most?

Fyodor makes Nikolai laugh all the time, though those laughs are always sort of fake (like an extreme version of a small, polite chuckle). Sometimes, though, when Nikolai's in a really good mood, the laughs will be genuine. On the other hand, Nikolai tries to make Fyodor laugh, but doesn't succeed. In the end, neither of them are much to laugh.

42. Who needs more reassurance?

Nikolai, definitely. Fyodor's sure of himself and his plans, and so is Nikolai to an extent, but Nikolai still gets doubts, which is when Fyodor comes in to tell him that everything is going to work out.

43. Who would have to bail the other out of jail?

Well... I don't think either of them would pay for bail, but Nikolai'll be fishing Fyodor out of jail (or general captivity) pretty regularly. (It's just such an easy way to extract information!)

44. What would be their theme song?

Oh boy I have no clue- Maybe ‘The Land of Might-Have-Been’?

45. Who would sing their child back to sleep?

Fyodor, as he softly touches their forehead and watches the blood pour from their slack lips- On second thought, maybe children isn't such a good idea...

46. What do they do when they’re away from each other?

Oh, all sorts of things. Fyodor does work, gets kidnapped, messes with Dazai. Nikolai bounces from place to place, spends time with friends, finds work or other such things to do. In the end, they don't actually spend that much time together.

47. A headcanon about them that stabs your feels?

Neither will ever truly achieve fulfilment.

48. A headcanon that mends the previous one?

:')

48 notes · View notes

tylerdown13rw · 5 years ago

Text

s. r. - it’s been a long, long time

requested: no

i thought of this idea while listening to “it’s been a long, long time” and at first i wanted to make it pure fluff, but that didn’t work out lmao, all russian words in here are from google translate!

During a mission, Hydra had finally caught you. They were ready to make you into the new Winter Soldier, unless you would give them exactly what they want.

Warnings: none? i tried to make it sad Word count: 1,842 24/12/2019

masterlist

“маленький,“ a low, mocking voice entered the dark room that you were in. You didn’t know how much time had passed, it could be anywhere from hours to weeks. The only lightsource in the room was the dim light from the lightbulb that was hanging from the ceiling, occassionaly swaying from left to right. When the door had opened, the bright light from the hallway shone right into your eyes. The room was small and cold. You were alone, except for the times where a Hydra soldier would come in.

They came in for different reasons. If you were lucky, it would be a soldier bringing a small amount of food and water, but if you weren’t.. You would be in for a ride. “Steven Grant Rogers, aliases Captain America, affiliated with the Avengers, romantically involved with Y/N Y/L/N.” Your tired eyes looked up at the soldier who was staring down at you, hands behind his back. “Y/N Y/L/N, affiliated with the Avengers, former worker at S.H.I.E.L.D, romantically involved with Steven Grant Rogers.” He spit out the information in a low voice, the accent making it slightly harder to understand what he had said. You had a feeling that this wasn’t a soldier that would be kind enough to bring you food.

Another voice could be heard from the hallway, the door still slightly opened, You couldn’t understand it fully, but soon enough you were pulled up. Standing on your own was hard, your legs were shaking and a headache was forming from the sudden movement together with the bright lights. You knew what moment would come. “Still no answers, маленький?” You tightly pressed your lips together, you would not give them the answers that they want. The whereabouts of Steve and the Avengers. The soldiers looked at eachother and with a small nod, they both took your arms, dragging you through the hallways to the door that you had come to fear. “No, no, no,” you whispered, trying to escape the grasp. Things that happened behind the door were never a good thing. A doctor would come in, injecting you with some kind of serum before whispering two words in your ear. “Hail Hydra.”

This time was no exception. They strapped you onto the metal seat, restraints tight around your body. “это новая версия.” This is the new version. The doctor nodded, taking the syringe from the soldiers hands before making his way to you. You absolutely hated this, the syringe, the serum, the stinging. The effect would be worse. Steve. It was always Steve. He would enter the room, but you could see in his eyes that he wasn’t your Steve. His actions would soon follow up to that. Punching, kicking, throwing and screaming. The violent actions made your body hurt, but you couldn’t fight back. You wouldn’t. Hydra wanted answers, they wanted to know everything about the Avengers. You wouldn’t give it to them. “You already know what’s coming, don’t you, маленький? Hail Hydra.“ The syringe sinked into your arm, and the bright room suddenly turned dark.

Only moments later the light came back and it felt like you were laying on something that was much softer than the metal seat. Birds were chirping and when you had opened your eyes, you saw that you were outside. Slowly sitting up, you run your hands over your face before taking in your surroundings. This was different from anything you had seen before. Did they let you go? Were you free?

Stretching your legs, you slowly stood up before walking to the house in front of you. The door was opened, so getting in wasn’t hard. The house was your dreamhouse, the house that you had talked about to Steve. The two of you always talked about buying a house together, that way you had some privacy instead of living with all of your friends. After entering the house, you hear a song playing, a song that you recognized as one of the songs that Steve always played on the recordplayer that you had gotten him for Christmas last year. The interior of the house was definitely from the 40′s, it looked exactly like the pictures that Steve had showed you when the two of you looked through the old photoalbums. The song got louder as you walked through the house.

Never thought that you would be

You had nothing to defend yourself with, but for some reason, it didn’t feel like this area was dangerous. You had ended up in the kitchen, the music even louder now. You turn to the right, your eyes landing onto the fireplace in the middle of the room. A livingroom. The recordplayer was set onto the table next to the fireplace. You could hear footsteps, making you take a step back into the kitchen. A tall, blonde man came out of the hallway, placing the sketchbook and the pencil that he was holding right next to the record player. The man in front of you was awfully familiar.

Standing here so close to me

Your Steve. A big smile formed on your face, the pain that you had at Hydra totally washing away. You took small steps, ready to run into the livingroom to finally have him in your arms again. But, before you could take a step into the livingroom, something stopped you. You frowned, placing your hand in front of you, pressing it against the invisible wall that had formed between the kitchen and the room right next to it. You looked from your hand to Steve, and back to your hand. You pushed your shoulder against the invisible barrier, throwing your whole weight into it, trying to get through.

There’s so much I feel that I should say

The clicking of heels on tiles came from behind you and you turned around to see who it was. Peggy Carter, one of the founders of Shield, Captain America’s first love. With a small smile on her face she placed the groceries on the kitchentable, taking off her thin jacket and draping it over the chair. You could hear her humming along to the music, and for some reason, your eyes couldn’t leave her face. You had always admired her, she was a strong woman and you even had the chance to talk to her a few times. It seemed like no one saw you, it wasn’t like you were hidden. You just stood in the middle of the doorway, a confused look in your eyes as you tried to understand why you couldn’t enter the room.

But words can wait until some other day

Peggy straightened her skirt before walking to the doorway that you were standing in, walking right past you and towards Steve. She was able to walk through it.. Why couldn’t you? Your fist pounded on the invisible wall, trying to get Steve his attention. “Why, don’t you look incredible,” Peggy’s gentle voice rang through the room. Steve looked up from the sketchbook that he previously had picked up again and placed the pencil on the page before closing the book. He smiled brightly, his blue eyes lighting up like stars in a night sky. “Care for a dance?” He stood up, extending his hand out to her. Tears formed in your eyes as you knocked on the invisible wall, harder than before. He loved you, he told you that over and over. You never blamed him for still loving Peggy, she was an amazing woman. He had left her in the past, but he would not forget her, which you understood fully. You had been there for him when she passed away, going to the funeral to support him and to pay respects to the woman. He had always said that she was his love in his past, and you were his love till the end of time.

“Steve, please, it’s me!“

Kiss me once, then kiss me twice

The love in their eyes was flowing through the room, sparkling bright while the tears in your eyes couldn’t help themselves from streaming down your face. Steve his arms were around her waist while Peggy had her arms over his shoulders, her hands resting on the back of his neck. Both had a smile on their face, staring into eachothers eyes while the sunshine was shining through the windows. Steve leaned down, resting his cheek on Peggy’s head and swaying from left to right. Your eyebrows furrowed, it looked like he was looking straight into your eyes. Your fist pounded on the wall again, desperate words leaving your mouth as you tried to get his attention. “Please, it’s me! I’m right here!” No matter how much you got beaten and hurt, nothing hurt more than seeing the man you love with someone else.

Then kiss me once again

“Y/N?“ Steve his arms left Peggy as he took slow steps towards you. You were frozen in your spot, wanting to run to him, but the barrier was still inbetween the two of you. “Y/N, wake up!“ A confused look in your eyes as you slightly tilt your head while looking at him. You were awake, weren’t you?

“Y/N, doll, please. We have to leave!”

You gasped for air, eyes wide open as you sit up straight. Instead of the warm room, you were back in the room at Hydra. Where was Steve? He finally saw you. “Babygirl, you have to calm down for me.” Your head whipped to the right, there he was. You shook your head, Steve in the Hydra room. This couldn’t end well. You pushed yourself closer to the chair and farther away from Steve. His eyebrows furrowed and a hurt look formed in his eyes. “Doll, we don’t have a lot of time, you really have to trust me now?”

His eyes were bright, no sign of danger and when you looked around, you didn’t see any Hydra soldiers, except for the one who was on the floor, unconcious. Your eyes met Steve his eyes again and before you could think about your actions, you had placed your hand in his. He immediately pulled you up, leaving the room and running through the hallways. “Stark, have the jet ready. We’re almost out.” At the exit you spot a small group, and Steve nodded to them. “How is she doing?” You heard a hushed voice, sounding a lot like Bucky. “I don’t know what they did, but it didn’t look good.”

Your eyes were fixed onto the sky which had turned all kinds of colors, painting a pretty picture. It had been a while since you had seen the sky, and right now, it was al you could be focussed on. Soon enough the group entered the jet, immediately starting it before Steve sat down, you on his lap while gripping his arm tightly. He wrapped the other one around you too, pressing a kiss on your forehead before burrying his face in your hair.

“You’re safe, doll. I got you.”

It’s been a long, long time

#steve rogers #imagine #steve rogers imagine #captain america #captain america imagine #steve rogers x reader #captain america x reader #avengers #avengers imagine #avengers x reader

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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 years ago

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Taylor and Winston’s Shared Glances at Wendy Which Could Recontextualize Billions 5x05 into Something Bearable

look if we take taylor’s behavior in 5x05 at face value, not only is it unpleasant for all of us but it also makes no sense. why question winston’s worth here, when he’s been making consistent and important contributions for mase cap the entire time? why bank on wendy, who everyone knows is more loyal to axe and axe cap, and who not only obviously very deliberately betrayed taylor last year for no good reason, but also has been meddling around with mase cap since before taylor offered the teamup, and refusing to ever acknowledge that she’s overstepping or doing anything wrong - not to mention that in 5x03, the episode just before taylor and wendy start off on this partnership venture, taylor expresses that they don’t trust wendy and don’t appreciate her interference at mase cap (or her efforts to deflect on that instead of like, apologizing or even recognizing she’s doing anything wrong. wendy’s really learned from last season, wow). taylor’s explanation to lauren of [Why Trust Wendy] being “well, risk is always involved, and it would be too obvious a move for wendy to betray me again, so she won’t.” i can accept the “there’s always risk” thing, like, maybe taylor knows they’re taking a big gamble on wendy here but is just that desperate and directionless, especially after sara quits, that they’re just willing to bet it all on wendy. but even so, there’s seemingly no need to push away their preexisting employees, or any benefit to doing so. and taylor’s apparent indifference / total lack of appreciation / even slight disdain for winston in this episode, when the entire point of him being here is that taylor could always recognize and respect his ability and worth, is again unpleasant for us all and also just doesn’t make sense.

BUT then we very much extremely have this moment in the first scene between them, and it is entirely Something. the Secret Nonverbal Communication going on between winston and taylor in this moment is Real.

originally what caught my attention was taylor’s initial glance over at wendy and how Unusual it is. it’s too fleeting to be taylor making eye contact with wendy, and the fact that their eye contact returns so immediately to winston means they’ve still Deliberately interrupted that eye contact. if taylor was acting how they normally would, they and winston would just be holding each other’s eye contact (see: kompenso. nobody blinks!!) and they’re too conscious and deliberate in the cues they give off for this to be an accident. i was going to pause just to think about Why taylor has this very strange glance away-and-back, but then of course i saw that the very next thing that happens is winston, looking at taylor, also quickly glances at wendy, then back at taylor, and nods.

he was clearly Bemused At Best throughout this scene, but as soon as this [taylor glancing at wendy and back at him, winston following their lead and glancing at wendy as well, then back at them] moment occurs, he just goes ahead and accepts this request to Prove Why He Shouldn’t Be Fired.

what i’m getting at is that i think taylor’s Glance At Wendy is their version of [a much more pointed glance, featuring raised eyebrows and them tilting their head at her to really get the message across], and winston is picking up on i, which lets him realize that taylor is more on his side here than they can say in front of wendy. taylor has previously Cued Winston In via a pointed nonverbal Look, and he’s shown he understands what they mean to convey when they do so. already, the implication that taylor trusts winston to pick up on this (and that he Does) shows that taylor respects winston a nonzero amount lol which is a little more than this episode suggests otherwise, without the “taylor and winston are Secretly Communicating here.”

naturally, what i think the secret [glancing] communication is about is that taylor themself is not considering firing winston, nor wanting to. they’re putting on this show for wendy here, wanting her to see taylor as already being fully on board with this partnership, which will encourage wendy to Also be more on board, 40% even - for whatever reason taylor might be able to use that down the line towards some bigger plan. and in this moment, taylor is conveying to winston that this whole “i’m considering firing you” matter is playing out because of wendy, hence the glance at her, which winston copies, then seemingly accepting the premise all of this instead of continuing to argue the point here and now.

and consider: if taylor really thought they should fire winston, they could’ve immediately done so in this scene. They are the one who’s putting the brakes on, managing to keep any decision from being made, yet without making it seem like they aren’t still essentially in accordance with wendy’s perspective here. i mean, damn, they’re out here getting pedantic about the fact that no, they don’t *have* to fire winston as a *need* to continue to be alive as organisms.......it’s easy to see them playing this as like, putting themself between wendy and winston while still making it seem like they’re actually fully on wendy’s side for this, acting indifferent towards winston, avoiding defending him to any point that they seem like they’re definitely advocating for him.........not to mention that winston’s right, and the math works no matter what, and it makes no sense to consider getting rid of him.......and taylor is directly contradicting themself by denying that they “need” winston, unless they’re just again talking about “i do not literally Need you like literal oxygen,” and/or, say, because they’re putting on a show of reluctance to keep winston on for wendy’s sake.

further consider: winston goes to mafee to complain, and then mafee and winston both bring lauren into the fold, but winston is complaining about what wendy specifically is doing - he’s not mentioning taylor. and winston complaining about this to mafee (and lauren) doesn’t have to be an act, because wendy’s not in on all this; she probably Does want to push out pre-impact-fund mase cappers, and they Don’t have reason to trust her. there’s no reason for winston to Not be upset about wendy wanting him out / interfering so much at mase cap - and maybe this Moment where taylor communicates to him via this glance is all the info winston has, like, all he knows is “oh, taylor maybe doesn’t want to do everything wendy does, but wendy is obviously pushing some Agendas,” like, he was there, taylor was managing to defend him without making it look like they were Clearly wanting to do that, but wendy was all in on just firing him asap.

not to mention how taylor acts in the scene where they do decide to keep winston on - they wait for wendy to make the call, then without waiting for even a beat to pass, confirm that winston’s Still Aboard, and immediately leave so that the whole matter is done with. more on this whole scene in a sec lol

and for another thought on how this Broader Recontextualization (i.e. that taylor is Not as aligned with wendy as they might act at face value / has some more complex plan at work here which requires them to act as though they’re just fully invested in this partnership with wendy) could be supported here, before i even noticed these Glances, i also noticed that it seemed like taylor was really Emphatic in telling lauren not to get into the middle of what they were doing with wendy.....and not in like an angry way or anything obviously, just like, they seemed particularly Earnest about that. and i think that could be indication of like, taylor does have this elaborate, big plan here, and they want it to unfold smoothly and/or just don’t want lauren to have to deal with any unforeseen consequences of stumbling into this Scheme..............but it’s unfortunate if lauren’s entirely in the dark, especially with how taylor was kind of ignoring her advice about the 25% vs 15% thing or whatever.........good that lauren’s on board anyways, like, not like taylor didn’t back her up on the less-than-ideal(-for-taylor) transition into being partially an axe cap employee, but it’s like......any relationship strife here is unnecessary, lauren’s just trying to look out for them. why can’t she be in on any larger schemes unfolding here

also, i think about taylor’s conversations with oscar back in 5x02. he was talking to them all about speed chess and having to think as many moves ahead (including your opponents potential moves) as possible, which, first of all i think that’s just always true in chess, but with speed chess you try to do it faster......as is the nature of speed chess......and, anyways, at the end taylor lets him know that they were even better than he was at that [seeing as many potential moves ahead as possible] thing. and i could definitely buy that taylor here is playing speed chess and has a much more in-depth plan than they’re letting on, vs. that their plan should be taken at face value and they really Do just trust wendy because of like, well there’s always risk + why would she betray me twice in a row. lol. and just the fact that all taylor’s behavior and choices and attitudes here like......do not make much sense otherwise, or line up much with how they’ve ever done things previously, really.

and here’s a whole extra galaxy brain layer to the matter:

What if Rian’s Already in On Taylor’s Plans Here, Potentially Even A Co-Conspirator With Both Taylor And Winston

here’s another thing i noticed was Strange before noticing the glances.....why is rian even back interviewing again??? i mean i could absolute ignore the weirdness of why rian apparently came back to this interview, pitch ready on her laptop, but didn’t even know *why* she should want to be doing the interview until bringing that up partway through. also, the presentation / idea was not That impressive lmao like, idk, taylor was a bit more generous with praise than warranted mayhaps lmfao but like. yes this could just be all taken at face value and it’d make more sense than [taking Everything taylor does at face value] but check this out

let’s say somehow taylor gets in touch with rian before she comes in and rian is in on all this from the start lol. acting kind of ambivalent, yet has this whole project just ready to pitch?? also like, apparently conveniently an “earnest believer” in saving the world one hedge fund trade at a time or whatever, but idk, i guess some people theoretically are........but anyways yeah taylor Wants to bring rian on, but wants wendy to be part of that / for wendy to think it was mostly her idea, aka mostly taylor listening to / valuing wendy’s good idea here.

like, the real point comes with how like, the glance suggests taylor Does Not Want To Fire Winston, but in the scene where winston Starts Up the conversation about keeping him on, taylor is Not helping winston.....still sort of being neutral, but also acting bizarrely indifferent and unimpressed with him. but then you know, for no particular reason, rian cuts in and makes a case for keeping him on.

and idk, maybe she’s just that nice and like, reverse hospitable to new coworkers, maybe she’s already decided he’s Alright and she may as well try to keep him around. but her defense of winston includes some Weirdly Strong language throughout.

well, it actually helps that he's outside the camp. don't you think? studies have proven that a diversity of opinions really strengthens an organization. impact funds really benefit from having a capitalist douche on staff as a bellwether; i mean, if you can sell impact plays to him, you know they'll be viable to anyone.

with the italics being where rian herself places emphasis. like, aside from the mystery of how anyone at a hedge fund thinks some people are capitalist and some, apparently, anticapitalist, or why winston should apparently be Exceptionally Mercenary and uncaring when he was all for the nlp oil divestment strategy which led to this whole impact fund idea in the first place.......rian is really arguing for winston here, and taylor literally looks to wendy, who agrees with rian that they should keep him on, and then taylor immediately affirms it and leaves.

co-conspirator galaxy brain blast here being: taylor can’t directly stick up for winston, they want to seem as indifferent / unenthused as possible, while not actually throwing him under the bus, yet not defending him to put themself at odds with wendy. winston can’t really defend himself here - imo the fact that wendy’s even considering firing him at all kind of shows that like, maybe the usual reasonable arguments he has aren’t gonna fly, since presumably arguing for the value of his own quantitative approach doesn’t count for anything if wendy’s just dead set on hiring “true believers” for whatever reason, even though the math will still work, like he says, and he hardly seems pressed about being Against this impact fund maneuver or anything...........he can’t argue for himself here, taylor can’t either b/c they want it to be wendy’s idea/decision to keep him on so they can simply seem to be agreeing with her, so here comes co-conspirator rian, mysteriously but firmly arguing that winston should be kept on board b/c of this reason that really doesn’t make all that much sense (when has winston ever been like, skeptical of any strategies for not being Capitalist enough or whatever).......but apparently wendy buys it, and she’s sort of further affirmed by it having been her Good Idea / Good Call to hire this person who she’s now taking the advice of.........and taylor just gets to Really quickly agree in a way that still firmly concludes this whole issue, and yet doesn’t make it seem like they were sticking up for him in the least. sure was really convenient for everyone lol, thanks rian for gunning for this guy you probably met just today.

if rian’s not a co-conspirator, maybe that was just dumb luck, but that’d really be bold if taylor wanted to keep winston on but there was no game plan for how to guarantee that happens, we’re just gonna wing it..........and despite their seeming indifference, even slight disdain towards him in this scene, as Soon as wendy agrees he should stay, bam, taylor tells him it’s Decided and he’s fine and immediately bails so that the conversation can’t continue, boy, they sure accepted that Wholly and Immediately for someone who was supposedly on the fence about all of it.

and anyways the point is:

tl;dr The Glancing Between Winston And Taylor Is Real and They’re Secretly Communicating With Each Other This Way in This Moment

#winston billions #also #billions #this is Something!!!

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toxoiddiamond · 4 years ago

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T H E B A S I C S Given Name: Joel Porter Nycroft Nicknames: No nicknames, but he goes by the name Joel Winters professionally. Age: 40 Birthday: May 25th Zodiac Sign: Gemini Birthplace: Liverpool, England Current Location: He is constantly touring, but he has two homes– one just outside of London, and one in LA. His London-ish (as he calls it) home is where he spends his time off, and his LA home (which is a condo) is where he lives while the band works on recording new albums, since that is where their current label is based. Speaks: English and French (not fluently, but decently well). Dominant Hand: Ambidextrous Education: High school dropout, never bothered to get his GED or anything since he never really needed to. No college education, obviously. He is very smart though, and reasonably well-educated. Occupation: Lead singer and guitarist of internationally famous band No Rest for the Londoners, often shortened to simply The Londoners. Vehicle: It’s been a very long time since he’s had to drive himself anywhere– and that’s probably for the best, given the fact that he is under the influence more often than not. He has drivers that take him anywhere he needs to go, or, if the place is within walking distance, he’ll just walk over. Worldly Possessions: Though he’s quite wealthy, he doesn’t live too ostentatiously. He does tend to buy expensive/high quality things that will last him a long time, especially if it’s an instrument or anything to do with music, but he doesn’t spend excessively. He has some artwork on his walls that he splurged on, a shelf for his various awards (which he keeps hidden in a closet in his home studio because he feels weird having them out on display for all to see), nice (but not ridiculously expensive) clothes and bedding and such, furniture he had custom made by a local carpenter, etc. Then he has all his instruments and music equipment, which make up the majority of his possessions. Pet(s): He can barely take care of himself, so he has never even considered owning a pet, but he does like animals a lot. In the future, once he has his shit together, he would be totally open to having pets.

A P P E A R A N C E Height: 6’0” Hair: Dark with a few flecks of grey. Long-ish and usually a bit of a mess unless he’s going somewhere fancy, in which case he will slick it back. Facial Hair: He usually keeps his beard quite full. He trims it now and then, but it’s rare for him to actually shave it all off. Eye Colour: Brown Skin Tone: He doesn’t spend a lot of time outdoors, so he’s pasty. Clothing: For the most part, he looks pulled together– jeans and t-shirts, the occasional cardigan, peacoats in colder weather, classic black suits when he attends special events. He doesn’t exactly dress like a “rock star” and has never cared to try and be edgy or fit a certain persona. Distinguishing Marks: Faded track marks on both his arms from his past heroin abuse– he makes no effort to hide or cover them, since he figures everyone knows about his drug problem anyway. Face Claim: Jim Sturgess

H E A L T H Physical Health: It could be better. What with the fact that he’s constantly high or drunk (or both), his health is not great. He is constantly exhausted, often feels sick, has a weak immune system, and is pretty much just a mess. There’s been more than one occasion throughout his career when he’s passed out from sheer exhaustion, or had to reschedule shows due to illness (though he considers that a last resort). Physical Abilities/Limitations: Joel is an extremely talented musician. On top of the fact that he has a lovely singing voice, he can play guitar, piano, drums, and bass. He can’t read music at all, but has a knack for playing by ear, which drives the rest of his band absolutely nuts because anytime they try to ask Joel what key he’s singing/playing in, he just shrugs. Addictions: It would be faster to list the things he’s not addicted to. But mainly, he’s addicted to alcohol and cocaine. He used to have a serious heroin addiction, but hasn’t touched heroin since his late twenties. He also abuses Xanax, though he doesn’t realize that’s what he’s doing– he figures that since his doctor prescribed it, it’s fine to use it on a regular basis, but it’s really doing more harm than good. Allergies: None Mental Health: Terrible. Like, catastrophically bad. Joel is pretty much always on the verge of a mental breakdown– he has had several over the past few years, but has not gotten the help he so desperately needs in order to get his mental health back in order. He has gone to rehab many times, but wasn’t really given much help in the mental health department; he was just told he needed to relax and that once he was off the drugs he would feel much better. Turned out that wasn’t true, so he has always gone back to the drugs after leaving rehab. He is constantly considering suicide, and has attempted it twice; once when he was fourteen, and once when he was thirty-two. The second attempt was passed off as an accidental drug overdose to the media, though it was not accidental at all.

H I S T O R Y Summary: Joel was born and raised in Liverpool. His father left when he was just a baby, so Joel never knew him. Unfortunately, his mother was neglectful and uncaring– she was addicted to drugs and ran with a bad crowd, and her only real concern was where her next fix would come from. Joel was often left with neighbors or other family members for long periods of time before his mother would remember to come and get him. More than once, authorities were alerted to the fact that Joel’s mother was not taking care of him, but nothing ever really came of it. From an early age, Joel was interested in music, and began teaching himself to play guitar when he was ten years old. He always had a knack for playing by ear, so he never bothered to learn to read music. He spent a lot of time in a local music shop playing around with various instruments, and the staff let him hang around since he didn’t bother anyone and they kind of felt sorry for him. It was there that Joel taught himself to play both piano and bass. At the age of 14, Joel was pressured by some of his mom’s friends into getting high with them. Although Joel didn’t want to, he was made to feel that saying no wasn’t an option, so he did heroin with them. He doesn’t remember much of what happened that night– just that he went with them somewhere, Joel was absolutely scared out of his mind, and then he woke up the next morning on a park bench. From then on, Joel began to get high regularly, and did favors for his mom’s “friends,” mostly running drugs and bringing back money. It was around this time that he attempted suicide by purposely overdosing, but he woke up the next morning– still in his bedroom, intensely sick and much worse for wear, but alive. Joel dropped out of high school at 16– he would have failed his classes anyway since he’d been skipping school so much and his grades had plummeted. At 17, his friend Michael invited him to London– Michael was moving there and saw an opportunity to get Joel away from all the bad influences in his life. They moved in with Michael’s aunt for a while, and Joel took a job in a record shop to save up money. Eventually they struck out on their own and decided to put a band together, something they had talked about for years. After finding the perfect band members (something they still insist was fate), they began writing songs and recorded an EP in Joel and Michael’s basement. After playing a few local shows, word of mouth begin to spread, and before they knew it, they were approached by a manager offering them a contract with a major label. They took the deal, and the rest is history. Job History: His first “job” was as an errand boy for a shady group of drug dealers. He then worked in a record store for almost three years, and during that time, helped form the band and started playing the occasional show. Obviously that worked out because he is a very famous, successful musician now. Fondest Memories: His first rock concert when he was ten years old. Running away from Liverpool– he’ll never forget the feeling of freedom as they drove past the city limits. Performing in small venues and getting such an unexpectedly good response. And, of course, the first time they ever performed in a sold-out arena; the first time he heard the audience singing his own lyrics back at him, Joel almost cried. Worst Experiences: The majority of his childhood. And… a lot of his adulthood, actually.

C O M M U N I C A T I O N Speech Pace/Style: Though Joel can be very charming, he’s not exactly smooth. He’s kind of a dork, and most of his charm comes from the fact that people find it endearing how weird and awkward he can be. Depending on whatever drugs are in his system, he can either talk a mile a minute, or he might speak slowly, possibly slurring his words (though the slurring isn’t always noticeable with his accent). Accent: Very, very English with a distinctive Scouse accent. When he speaks, there is absolutely no doubt about where he’s from. Favorite Phrases or Words: He uses a lot of typical Scouse slang, such as “made up” for “happy,” or “cob on” for “bad mood.” His bandmates tease him about his weird accent/dialect all the time, though it’s all in good fun, of course. Usual Curse Words: Fuck, and any of its derivatives.

P E R S O N A L I T Y, M I N D S E T, A N D B E L I E F S Personality Type: ENFP-T Sense of Humor: Joel is charismatic and funny– he loves to make people laugh and can be quite a goofball when the mood strikes him. He often uses humor as a way to deflect or distract from his issues, so a lot of people who don’t know him well are surprised to find out that he’s as depressed as he is. When it comes to entertaining people, he will do just about anything to get a laugh, as long as it’s not offensive in some way– self-deprecating humor is his go-to, though. Habits: He tends to fidget a lot– wringing his hands, scratching at his arms, bouncing his leg when he’s sitting, especially during interviews or before a performance. Fears/Phobias: His biggest fear is ending up alone. He doesn’t even like being alone in his house, so the idea of being abandoned or rejected by the people he cares about is what really scares him. Loneliness is his worst enemy, and honestly, anytime when Joel is left alone with his own thoughts is just not going to end well. Strengths: Joel is a creative, kind, and thoughtful person who genuinely likes being around others and getting to know them. He loves doing nice things for people, making people laugh, and is charismatic as hell. People seem to naturally flock to him and enjoy his company– he’s kind of the life of the party. Joel always does his best to be kind to his fans as well, especially kids, and would never deny anyone a picture or autograph, even if he secretly would rather be doing anything else. Flaws: As lovely as Joel can be, when he’s deep under the influence of drugs, it’s like he’s a completely different person. Selfish, combative, and a chronic liar. When he starts spiralling into depression, it’s impossible for him to pull himself out of that tailspin, and that is how he’s ended up in this vicious cycle of getting depressed, doing drugs, getting more depressed, drinking the pain away, getting even more depressed, etc, etc. Hopes/Desires: He really, really wants to get clean and sober, but doesn’t know if it’s really possible for him. He hates that he’s so reliant on drugs and alcohol to even get through the day, but he’s felt so awful and depressed (more than usual) every time he’s gotten clean that he doesn’t see how he can live like that. Self-Esteem: It could not possibly be any lower. Joel considers himself to be a burden on everyone he knows and pretty much thinks he’s a waste of space. It would only take the tiniest nudge for him to attempt suicide (again). Religion: He doesn’t believe in any kind of god or higher power. In fact, he really hopes there isn’t any such thing, because he’s pretty sure that if there is a god or any kind of afterlife, he won’t end up going anywhere pleasant when he dies.

R A N D O M Sleeping Position: Curled up in a ball on his side. Boxers or Briefs?: Boxers Day or Night?: He doesn’t have a preference– it really just depends on whether he has something to do or not. Top or Bottom?: He can go either way. Partying or Relaxing?: Usually partying, unless he has someone to relax with.

R E L A T I O N S H I P S Closest Friend: He is close to all of his bandmates: Michael (Joe Anderson), Dawn (Sofia Boutella), Holly (Devon Aoki), and their newest/youngest bandmate who replaced their former rhythm guitarist, Ryan (Justin Nozuka). Out of all of them, he is definitely closest with Michael since they grew up together. Relationship History: Not a lot of long-term relationships. He briefly dated Dawn back when they first met, before the band blew up, but they quickly decided they weren’t compatible. He has dated around a bit, some men and some women, mostly people who are also in the public eye (actors, models, musicians, etc), but none of those relationships lasted longer than a few months. Sexual Partners: A lot. He was definitely promiscuous when he was younger, lots of flings and one-night stands. As he got older, he lost interest in having a new partner every night and started getting into more actual relationships, though none of them lasted longer than a year. Thoughts About Sex: He enjoys it. He especially enjoys it when his partner doesn’t leave immediately afterward. Joel really likes to cuddle after sex, so it’s always disappointing to him when it turns out his partner isn’t interested in cuddling.

P A R E N T S Name(s): Donna Nycroft Age(s): She died at the age of 57 Social Standing: Not good. She was widely known to be an addict, and ran with a shady crowd to help fuel her addiction. Occupation(s): Drug dealer, occasionally traded sex for drugs or money, occasionally took part-time jobs if she was really desperate, though she could never hold down a legitimate job for very long. Religion: Nope. Quality of Relationship With His Children: Horrible. She never cared much for Joel, and only kept him because she got child support money from his father every month. She paid as little attention to him as possible and didn’t care at all what he did or where he went. When he first got famous, she tried to sell her “story” to a bunch of tabloids and started trashing him in the media, but the drama died down quickly because Joel refused to address anything she said and pretended he didn’t know who she was. Joel was honestly not sad at all when he got the news about her death. He pretty much said “oh… okay” and moved on immediately. Living/Deceased: Dead

D A I L Y L I F E Living Arrangements: Joel has two homes– one moderately large home on the outskirts of London, and a condo in LA. His London home is a bit secluded and private, and is where he likes to go during his off times, as he can escape the press for the most part. His band mates will often come and stay with him as well, partly because they don’t want him to be alone, and partly because they all have a great time together, especially when there’s not the pressure of recording or a tour. His LA home is where he lives while they work on recording, since their label is based in LA. The house in London is fairly large, but not a mansion by any means– it has four bedrooms, one of which Joel has converted into a music studio where he can practice, write songs, mess around with instruments, etc. Two bedrooms are currently guest rooms, and then there is the master bedroom, of course. The place is decorated with custom furniture Joel had designed and made by a local carpenter, and it is all very nice-looking and comfortable. His condo is decorated in a very minimalist, functional way, which suits Joel just fine. Lots of open space and windows, furniture with clean, modern lines, a few splashes of color here and there, and not much else.

#character: joel nycroft #ship: joley #character sheet

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ichigo777666 · 4 years ago

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FE3H Characters Ranked

My opinions of all the main characters in FE3H ranked from worst to best in my opinion. These are MY opinions! Spoilers ahead, obviously.

*NOTES*

This does not include any of the DLC characters. This also does not include the following characters since they have limited dialog / appearances within the game: Gwendal, Pallardo, Duke Aegir, Anna, Lambert, Ionious, Metodey, Kostas, Holst, Macuil, and Indech. Any other characters who are only mentioned by name are also not included. And Byleth is also not on this list due to being the player’s character.

Everyone else included in this list has a few interactions or mentions in multiple ending paths so they’re fair game. Not having a lot of interactions is not going to affect placement that much so don’t be surprised if some major characters wind up low on the list…

*The PIT*

Aka the worst of the worst. The characters I would throw into the void.

#54 – Leonie

I absolutely hate this character so much. Her personality is so flat and grating that she drives me up a wall. Her character can be summed up in two words “loves Jeralt” – that’s it. Just about everything about Leonie revolves around impressing Jeralt or being like Jeralt or doing this because of Jeralt ect. I don’t care if she’s useful as a playable character – every time she opens her mouth I cringe. Her support which is only available after Jeralt dies in which she berates you for “not appreciating him enough” is just the epitomny of selfishness. Then PTS she basically turns herself into a second Jeralt, replicting his outfit as best she can and giving herself his title “the blade breaker” and adds a 2. Excuse you, but is ANYONE can call themseleves that it’s Byleth, aka Jeralt’s child, not YOU. But she doesn’t care and does it anyway...

#53 – Rodrigue

Oh boy this is going to be a very unpopular opinion but in terms of a character, Rodrigue is kind shit. Rodrigue earns this spot for being the shittiest living parent in the game. His eldest son Glenn dies and his comment on that is how “he died like a true knight”. His first emotional response is pride not remorse. He never mentions how much he loved him or how he misses him: just how proud he was of him… And this pisses off poor Felix. Felix whom gets left ALONE after this happens because Rodrigue decides he’s got to be Dimitri’s mentor / guardian. So he basically straight up abandons his grieving 13 year old son to be the new father figure of the prince. Dimitri was more important to him that his own child. We can all see what the impact of this was on Felix through the game. And then, in Azure Sky, when Rodrigue joins you as a “mentor” character, he lacks all balls. Dimitri is going crazy and acting like a psychopath and Rodrigue doesn’t even really try to do anything about that – he just stands aside and comments on how he’s “changed”. I mean FRICK MAN – your were his guardian, his mentor. TALK TO HIM! But NOOOOOOO! So yeah, Rodrigue sucks!

#52 – Lord Lonato

Speaking of shit parents, here’s another for you! Yes, Lonato was kind enough to allow Ashe and his siblings to live with him, which is the oddest decision ever considering this came about after Lonato caught Ashe sneaking into his castle to steal from him. “I’ll just adopt this thief child”. Despite that act of kindness, he also chose to not tell Ashe the truth about what happened to his son Christophe; that Christophe was not involve with the Duscar incident but rather had been a part of a plot to try and kill Rhea. Lonato could not bring himself to believe that his son was wrong or had done anything wrong. Despite the fact that his son had decided, for whatever reason, to try and kill someone, Lonato thought that this was okay. He then sacrificed himself for the sake of trying to avenge his true son instead of continuing to care for the children he’d taken in. He basically took Ashe & his siblings in, giving them security for the first time in years, then chooses to follow his only wrong beliefs and thus put Ashe & his siblings back into the world again. He gave them 7 years of security and this just went “oh well, you’re on your own again”.

#51 – Gilbert / Gustave

And rounding out the “shit parents” section of the list, we have the father that literally abandons his daughter and wife due to own depression. He’s totally alive and out there but just can’t bring himself to give a crap about either or write them any letters. Nope, he’s caught up in his head that he wasn’t there during the tragedy of Duscar, of how he “should have arrived sooner”. I mean, really? It is in now way his fault just because he’s a knight. He wasn’t supposed to be there and he’s got guilt that he wasn’t there? Seriously man?! And then when he finally does reunite with Annette all he does is push her away. Instead of letting Annette decide whatever she wants to be around him again, he chooses for her and denies her attempts to reconnect with him. Yeah, shit father…

*The Bottom of the Barrel*

These characters are bad. They’re not absolute utter garbage like the PIT characters, but they still are awful.

#50 – Dimitri

Yeah, I don’t like Dimitri. What is there to like about this guy? He was traumatized as a teenage when his dad was killed in-front of him and that changed him into a survival-guilt ridden bloodthirsty killer? Jeez, it honestly feels like someone tried to ft a whole bunch of tropes into one cohesive character and failed massively. The whole “brooding” phase in Azure Sky where he’s basically a tantrum throwing 5 year old only makes him worse. Also, I still don’t understand WHY he immediately jumped to the whole “Edelgard is the one who killed my parents” conclusion. The entire Duscar incident had nothing to do with Edelgard, unless Dimitri thinks a teenager with no power could do that. And, if he’s blaming the Empire, why does that extend to Edelgard who was just a princess at the time? I could see if something like the FE was present and that’s why he went crazy after Edelgard but I’m pretty sure the FE didn’t exist back then… so WTF? This is like “my parents were killed by a drunk driver. Hey you, unrelated person who just learned to drive this year, you are drunk therefore I HATE YOU – you killed my parents!” Really, no. NO.

#49 – Acheron

He has a minor role only but you fight him twice and you can get some background from Lorenz. He’s annoying and I guess he’s designed to be so. I don’t like him much. But he’s not as annoying as Dimitri.

#48 – Cyril

Oh Cyril. He’s such an annoying character. He’s a more toned down version of Leonie with his obsession with Rhea. He’s a bit of a jerk during his support conversations and he’s dismissive of his homeland. I think his supports with Seteth best show what Cyril’s all about: he’s devoting himself to repaying Rhea without thought for anything else, even his own future. He has no ambitions and no desires….how can a character be so bland?

#47 – Hannerman

And the obsessive one. ‘Obsession with Crests’ is just the only phrase you need to describe Hannerman. While I can understand why Hannerman as a character wants to research crests, the way he goes about it is just wrong. He hounds Lysithia w/o realizing why she’s avoiding his questions until she basically has to spell out WHY she’s uncomfortable with talking about it. He’s been hounding Seteth for 21 years about his crest and Flayn’s too. 21 fricking years of bothering someone and he can’t understand the answer “no”.

#46 – Arundel

Yeah, he’s a piece of shit but at least he’s interesting. He’s Edelgard’s uncle and yet he basically allowed her to be experimented on. Why? Who knows? He’s associated with TWSITD but why? Power? Conquest? He’s mysterious. His personality “suddenly changed” leaving the option open that he was replaced and the Arundel that exists now is a fake. He’s intriguing but he’s still a piece of crap.

#45 – Dedue

Oh Dedue. I feel like Dedue is stuck playing the “victim” card but without looking for sympathy. He’s from Duscar so everyone looks down on him...and Dedue just takes it. He doesn’t try to defend himself or say that just because he’s from Duscar doesn’t mean he’s evil. He does nothing to try and change anyone’s opinions – he’s content to just sit and take it. But then he talks about wanting to have the world move past the tragedy….so which is it Dedue? In order to have it change, you need to actually DO SOMETHING!!!!

#44 – Thales

The weakest character of the main three. The game tells you almost nothing about Thales...and then you go and read the wiki and find out he’s Arundel….yeah mind telling us that game?! So he’s higher than Arundel.

#43 – Nemesis

Another evil character with no personality or real background. Why did he start his rampage? Was he manipulated or just evil? Who knows….

#42 – Judith

Judith has such a small role unless you’re playing VW. And in VW she’s a bit of a bitch who treats Claude as a misbehaving child even after he proves himself again and again.

#41 – Nader

AKA the Alymrian general you meet briefly in VW and in CF. He’s in for less than a few minutes and he appears to be jolly/happy and has the rep of being an undefeated general. I guess he’s alright. But with no real role I can’t bring myself to feel anything for him

#40 – Annette

When I first played I was on the fence with Annette. I sorta liked her determination and her drive to reunite her family. But then her singing started...and oh boy do I hate her singing. So many of her supports center around that annoying singing! Just STOP already, please! Also WTF is that blue “tab” in her PTS redesign that’s right on her butt? It’s the only one...

#39 – Ferdinand

Ferdinand’s personality is just...annoying. From his meme’d battle line to his constant talk of “being a noble” he just grates my nerves. And why does he act like this? Because his father is not and he’s trying to not be like his father and be a “good person”….

*The Low-End*

These characters are “eh” characters. They’re aren’t too good or too bad...but they lean more towards bad than good.

#38 – Kronya / Monica

This was an interesting idea. I just wish she had been more involved or usable. Like if you’re playing BE house, she becomes a playable member. Something to endear her a bit more other than “this other random character you rescued who acts suspiciously”. Let’s face it, we all knew something was up with her. And then she’s killed off so easily and quickly...

#37 – Cornelia

Okay, she’s a bit interesting and a manipulator. They weren’t afraid to give her an “ugly face”. She’s a schemer and not afraid to flaunt her assets to give her an advantage.

#36 – Alois

Eh. Alois. Loves jokes, very loyal. I guess he’s alright but he’s not spectacular and some of the jokes and just so so so so so so bad.

#35 – Ashe

Ashe is another character that I think lacked development. I mean he just gained a slight bit of confidence and purpose but he’s not one for much change. His personality over all is a bit bland: he likes stories about knights and is worried about his siblings. Oh and he used to be a thief.

#34 – Jeritza

Bland because he’s meant to be bland. His other personality is typical “killer knight”. What saves Jeritza is his support conversations where you get background and you realize why he’s the way he is.

*The Middle Ground*

These characters are right in the middle. Not great but not awful.

#33 – Ladislava

In every ending except CF, you only get to see her once but in CF you can chat with her and learn more about her. She’s the head of Edelgard’s person guard and its heavily implied she had next to nothing before this appointment. She’s fully loyal to Edelgard, even willing to die for her cause.

#32 – Flame Emperor

I listed this character separate since FE is an enigma. I actually liked the design of the FE and the whole mystery surrounding them.

#31 – Manuela

I’m...ambivalent about Manuela. She’s a drunken whiner at time and other time she turns into something sweet and reliable. She’s so worried about her age but she’s NOT that old. It’s a bit trope-y though...to have an older character all concerned about her age.

#30 – Jeralt

Jeralt’s a good dad character albeit a flawed one too. It’s a shame they didn’t give him any support conversations to flesh him out more. As it is most of what we learn about Jeralt comes from others.

#29 – Sothis

I don’t hate Sothis like most. She’s a bit bratty, yes but look at from her way – she’s got no memories, no recollections, and has found herself somehow stuck with this person. She tries to help out Byleth best she can, even if it sometimes leads to near disaster.

#28 – Gatekeeper

A nice wholesome character who always wants to help out and be useful. He’s a nice guy but suffers from lack of characterization.

#27 – Mercedes

First off, I dislike the “breathy” quality of her voice. She’s a very nice girl and very kind...but that’s about all there is to Mercedes...

#26 – Raphael

Ah, the big guy who loves to eat. He’s overprotective but not too overprotective of his little sister. He’s strong, interested in his muscles, and in getting stronger but it’s because he’s shouldering the responsible of taking care of his sister. Still he’s a bit trope-y.

#25 – Lindhardt

Lindhardt make up your dang mind! He talks about wanting to study crests but when he’s offered by two separate people to do just that he complains about how he’s being “tied down”. Really? His laziness and sleepiness also gets tired after a while.

#24 – Ignatz

Ignatz is a character who shows a lot of growth and goes from having no confidence in what he wants to do to finding his path. However Ignatz remains a pushover who gives in to whatever anyone advises even when he knows its wrong. It takes a long, long, long time for Ignatz to learn to have any say in himself...which is why he’s down here.

#23 – Solon

The most developed of the three main TWSITD characters. I feel his reveal as Tomas was ruined by the poorly executed Monica / Kronya earlier. However he was unexpected. Who expects the librarian? It would have been better if they didn’t have him as “suspect” in the whole Flayn is missing part through.

#22 – Randolph

You only really get to know Randolph in CF although he’s got a minor part in AS where we see that he truly cares for his sister and how he feels he must do this, even if he risks dying. In CF, we get to learn more about Randolph. He’s actually a step-uncle to Caspar through his mother marrying into the family. He has no power or clout so everything he earns is done by action. It’s a shame they killed him off so early.

#21 – Caspar

Caspar is a good character in several ways. He’s not depressed about not being the heir to his house and is motivated to find his own way. He knows he’s flawed and in his supports he tries to change only to learn that he’s better off following his own path. It’s his boisterous yelling and charging headfirst into danger is what I don’t like about him.

*The High Side*

These are characters I like. They’re not the best but I like them and can understand them.

#20 – Hilda

Ah Hilda. Hilda’s one of those characters that surprise you. Hilda starts off being this lazy character who doesn’t want to battle and doesn’t want to do chores. Not because she can’t do them, but just because she’s lazy. You see her trying to get out of things in her supports only to either feel guilty or wind up helping someone learn something. But I think where Hilda shines is in VW where she acts as Claude’s “advisor” and some of Claude’s best plans come from suggestions from Hilda. By then she’s come into her own. I also enjoy Hilda’s C support with Seteth greatly where he just lists all the excuses she’s given flat out as Hilda gets more and more nervous.

#19 – Claude

Claude made it up here due to his unprediacbility. Some of his plots/schemes are downright hillarious. Claude is unashamed of who he is and where he comes from – he knows who he is and who he wants to become. And, in a game riddled with characters who struggle with that very issues, Claude’s a bit of a breath of fresh air.

#18 – Fleche

Ah Fleche. She’s a very minor character but she’s got such an impact on the story in AM – this is what path we’re going to discuss. We first meet Fleche when she’s talking with Randolph, her brother, right before Randolph heads out on a mission that will ultimately end with his death. Instead of doing the typical thing for a young girl which is to cry, Fleche goes ‘nah’ and decides to take revenge. She disguises herself as a “maiden” and goes to try and join the Kingdom Army; she’s allowed to by Dimitri. Fleche bides her time and waits until after a big battle and then straight up goes and tries to murder Dimitri. She actually stabs him once and barely fails in her task of killing him. Against Dimitri, one of the strongest characters... a little girl.. Yeah, Fleche is kinda badass.

#17 – Miklan

Okay, so here’s another good sympathetic villain character. Miklan was born with no crest so he was looked down upon by his family. He was the first child however so his family kept him...at least until his brother Sylvain was born with a crest. Then Milan became “garbage” and useless in the eyes of his family and thus was disinherited. He lashed out against his brother multiple times. With no one on his side, Milkan became the leader of a group a bandits and began taking things he wanted, things he felt he should have had, by any means necessary. He later stole the heirloom lance from his family, intent of keeping it and its power for himself. While it’s true Miklan is not a nice person at all, more like a sadist, the reason he became that way was due the treatment of his family.

#16 – Dorothea

I am in the camp of the very few who like Dorothea’s second outfit better than her first – that dress is boss. Some of her supports are downright sweet and her interactions with Ingrid in their paralogue are just adorable. I love how we get to see so many different sides of Dorothea and how she treats each of her aquantinces with the side of herself that’s most appropiate.

#15 – Shamir

The silent Shamir. Unlike so many characters who talk and talk and talk, Shamir only speaks when necessary until she gets close to someone. Her skills are top-knotch, which is showcased in her supports. Her personality is a reflection of her work and the kind of jobs she does as well as her way of protecting herself. She’s mysterious and deadly.

#14 – Rhea

Oh Rhea. I’m often torn in the way I feel about her, going from understanding to becoming frustrated with her within the span of a single conversation. Her desire to see her mother is what drives everything she does – every single thing. She is 100% committed to trying to reach her goal, no matter the cost, and she’s been at it for almost an eon. Outside of that goal, what she’s doing she truly believes is the right thing. She’s trying to guide people towards the right path and away from conflict. She lets no one truly into her innermost thoughts, not even Seteth, and her emotions are all sequested away, so much so that when they do come out it becomes obvious. I mean, for anyone who thinks she’s nuts, let’s take a look at some of the trauma she’s gone through. Her beloved mother, whom she obviously cared for more than anything, was murdered and her body was used to make a weapon. Said weapon was then used to slaughter the vast majority of her brethern who were then in turn alos turned into weapons to be used to kill. She had to then fight the man who had killed her mother to reclaim what’s left of her body and to stop any more pointless killing. Yeah, Rhea’s had it rough.

#13 – Marianne

Ah, sweet Marianne. It was great to watch her change and grow based on her supports with the other characters. Her caring nature towards the animals, espcially the horses, was lovely – she even knows the names of a few of them (the only one to refer to the horses by name). I like how her PTS outfit reflects the changes she’s overcome – even the subtly of making her hair neater.

#12 – Catherine

Badass female knight with a legendary sword. She’s brash, not lady-like, and not afraid of anything really. The way she rushes into combat w/o a though for danger, the fact that she doesn’t try and hide her past from the person whom it affects the most, and her way of testing people. Catherine’s great.

#11 – Hubert

Juts missing the top 10 is loyal Hubert. I’ll admit I didn’t like Hubert at first but he grew on me bit by bit. Hubert’s S-Support with Byleth is like the cutest thing ever – I was not expecting it at all. This is loyalty done in a good way.

*The Summit*

The best characters in the game, IMO. These are the characters I love!

#10 – Petra

I got to admit, I like her not-perfect talking. That’s so much of Petra’s charm. Adding to that is how Petra’s always trying her best and trying to advance herself. She has modest goals she wishes to reach and doesn’t try and sell herself as better than she is. She’s always willing to learn and to help others. When there’s someone with a different opinion, Petra tries to understand why they feel the weay they feel and to try and find common ground.

#9 – Lysithia

Oh poor girl. Lysithia struggles with others seeing her as a child or too childish due to the fact that she’s younger than most of the students. She’s incredibly intellegent and throws herself into her studies. Both of these things lead to others teasing her, either playfully or actually. Instead of taking it stride, this ‘teasing’ causes her temper to show and erupt. She can’t tell them WHY she’s trying so hard, why she’s so desperate to achieve cause that would reveal her secret. She’s burrying all this hurt and anger deep inside that she can’t talk about because can understand what she went through (except perhaps Edelgard). And even though she knows she’s going to likely die soon, she’s not focused on her own life: she’s doing all she’s doing to try and help her family...

#8 – Sylvain

Sylvain quickly became one of my favorite blue lion boys. At first glance he looks like this degenerate womanizer...and then you learn abut him and why Sylvain is why he is. His father views him as a studhorse and that his crest is the only good thing about him; his father literally cannot see Sylvain as an actual person, just a way to further the family. Having a father like this and a brother who hates him for having been born with a crest has greatly shaped Sylvain. In order to have some semblence of himself, Sylvain began to act out, to do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING he could to not be what he was supposed to be. His father wanted a noble son; Sylvain did everything he could to not be that. This got him into trouble again and again but Sylvain didn’t care. Sylvain is willing to do things that make others look down upon him if it helps him try and escape from his life...

#7 – Bernadetta

Aw, Bernie. Bernie’s such a good girl. Based on what she went through, it’s amazing she’s even sane. Her father’s idea of parenting was tying her to a chair and forcing her to remain quiet and submissive for hours, to “teach her to be a good wife” which is the reason she turned into such a nervous wreck of shut-in. He resorted to beating to near death a boy she made friends with because he was a commoner, which terrified Bernie into not wanting to make friends at all. Bernie’s mom seemed to have a little sense and smuggled her out but this is only AFTER she allows this stuff to go on for years – YEARS. Bernie’s had years of psycological trama inflicted on her and then she gets thrust into a school surrounded by people whom she has to interact with. The poor thing. It’s a testament to her professors and friends to see how far Bernie has come; to watch her change and grow as she slowly comes around to adjusting to normality.

#6 – Ingrid

There is something incredibly entertaining about a lady knight who loves to gorge herself on food. Loving eating food is generally a character trait you see on guys (typically big guys like Raphael) so to see it on a chick is a good change of pace. Her whole no-nonsense strict attitude is a great contrast to that. She’s not girly or into very lady-like things such as dresses or makeup or tea parties. Ingrid is a guy’s soul in a girl’s body….and she’s amazing.

#5 – Felix

If you haven’t read the entry for Rodrigue (he’s #53 on this list) go read that first. After all that shit that Felix’s gone through, it’s amazing he’s even still standing and capable. He’s stewing with anger and grief that he’s never been able to work through and it manifests as anger and his stand-off attitude. Poor freaking Felix.

#4 – Flayn

Fishy Queen. I do not get the hate for Flayn. She’s been horribly oversheleted by Seteth in his attempts to protect her so it’s left Flayn a bit naive. Flayn’s usually very cheery and happy which is a bright light in the depressing war times. She’s also a quite capable mage, mainly with healing magic but she can also learn a good bit of reason magic too. Flayn is always trying her best while trying to fit in with the others – she’s over 1000 years old, mind you! It can’t be easy trying to fit in when you don’t understand and when a vast majorirty of those years were spent asleep. She was involved in an ancient battle where she was badly injured (Seteth blames it on her being too young) and requires sleep inorder to heal. Meanwhile everyone else she knew and lived with aside from Seteth was killed. She wakes up an everything she knew and just about everyone she knew is just...gone. Not only her beloved mother but any friends she had too are just gone. It’s no wonder she fears falling asleep when this is what happened. Her obession with fish? It’s Flayn’s coping mechanism for dealing with the loss of her mother. Flayn explains on numerous occassions that she spent lots of time sitting with her mother while she fished and that fish is her favorite food due “to no small part” of this pastime. Fishing and eating fish is Flayn’s way of remembering her mother and dealing with the fact that she’s no longer with her. Flayn’s supports are just great; they all develop her personality more. With Dimitri and Dedue, Flayn’s cooking is explored. Flayn can’t cook although she tries her best. With Dedue, Flayn tries to learn to cook better. With Dimitri, Flayn expresses her disdain that no one enjoys her cookings and how this wastes food, even when she tries her best. Obviously Flayn never cooked before – her mother did most of it. Now there’s no one in her family to cook so Flayn’s trying to learn to try and follow in her mom’s footsteps. With Ignatz and Manuela, Flayn’s exploring things she never has seen or done before: the opera for Manuela and paintings with Ignatz. In Claude’s and Lindhardt’s supports, Flayn sidesteps questions about her heritage and her crests. With Sylvain, we see how Flayn grows and learns to not trust the rumors others say. In Felix’s, she’s trying to help Felix find a purpose after the war ends that still allows him to use his sword. With Raphael’s it’s Flayn who’s being helped by Raphael as she tries to “grow stronger”; she even mentions how she’s frail and how this worries Seteth. And then there’s Ferdinand’s supports where it’s clear Flayn’s been starved of physical affections aside from Seteth. And their supports, between Seteth and Flayn, are a great progression between the two...Overall, I love little Flayn.

#3 – Lorenz

I like noble boy. I will admit, I hated his schooldays haircut with a burning passion...and then man on man did he become HOT pts. Winner of the best boy glow-up. A lot of Lorenz’s character flaws are the fault of his father. His father taught him that all that is important is being nobility and Lorenz ate it up, not knowing any better. His father instilled into him how he neeed to find a wife to further the family’s influence and thus how she must be a noble. This worked so well on Lorenz to the point that he willing to even give up someone he loves if they happen to be a commoner. Lorenz spends a lot of time trying to ‘interview’ girls to find his perfect noble bride, coming off as a bit on an ass – even when he’s confronted by Byleth he refuses to believe he’s done anything wrong since this is what his father taught him to do. It takes a long time until Lorenz starts seeing that he is wrong that what his father taught him is wrong. He starts using his own head and his own eyes to determine what is instead of using the opinion blasted into him by his father. He’s always trying to help other, feeling it’s his obligation as a noble to help those around him, which is a quality that he alone seems to take seriously (despite the school being filled with nobles). He originally dislikes Claude cause he believes that Claude isn’t taking his responsibility as the next Alliance head seriously since Claude is so laid back. He eventually comes to see that, despite appearances, Claude is working on the issues and is capable. His S support with Byleth where he mentions how he has "worked tirelessly to improve" "to become a man truly worthy of (Byleth)" and then is uttely shocked if Byleth tells him he already was worthy shows how dedicated he can be. With Ignatz, he instills confidence in him, seeing talent in Ignatz for art and talking about how there is more to knighthood than combat. His poetry writing comes out with Manuela’s supports and he convinces Hilda through actions to actually throw herself into battle. But I think his best supports are with Marianne. The vast majority of her supports are the others telling her to “be more confident” or “smile more” or other such things where they give her advice on how to improve...but Lorenz is the only one who comes to see that nothing needs to change. He starts by complementing her and then commenting on how she “needs polish” only to realize he was wrong and state she is “becautiful just the way she is”, accepting her fully for who she is without looking to change a thing. He is, essentially, telling her she is perfect the way she is and she doesn’t need to change at all for him to love her...which I find just so utterly sweet.

#2 – Edelgard

Edel gets a lot of hate but I honestly love her character so much. Edelgard is a doer not someone who sits by and does nothing. Due to things outside of her (and her father’s) control, she would up the victim in an experiment, a experiment that killed all of her siblings. Edelgard alone survived although at a cost. That experience forever changed her. Gone was the child and in her place rose Lady Edelgard. Unlike Lysithia who is dealing with her similar situation by trying to provide for her family before her time runs out, Edelgard isn’t. Her goal is the destruction of the circumstances that caused the experiment as well as those who caused the experiment to happen upon her so that this cannot happen again to anyone else. Since the experiment were done to give crests and since Edelgard has obviously seen how some children are treated whent hey have / do not have one, she aims to destroy all of that. Edelgard is literally stomping her foot down and saying ‘no, this isn’t a good or fair system and I’m not going to stand around and let it continue’. She’s willing to sacrifice everything to attain this goal, even if it turns her into a monster or ends in her death. Instead of waiting for the world to change, Edelgard decides to BE the change. She knows she’s going to be responsible for the deaths of a lot of people and she clearly struggles with the idea of this but in the end she decides that if she does nothing than that number will be greater so she persists. She burries her desire for friends and for love because she can’t bring herself to trust or rely on others – her father loved her but couldn’t protect her; the nobles in her father’s court are resonsible for hurting her too. They had her trust and they betrayed it. Her heart has been broken already; I don’t think she wants to risk it breaking again by trusting someone who will betray her, by making friends who can abandon her, by falling in love with someone who doesn’t understand what she’s doing. In CF when you side with Edelgard, you get to see more of that emotion slowly come out. Think on the PTS reunions: Dimitri was in disbelief and then apathetic that Byleth was alive; Claude was slightly surprised but then glad; Edelgard though broke down. Edelgard was the only one to get so emotional over Byleth’s return – someone she had trusted whom had returned that trust wasn’t dead after all; there wasn’t another corpse to add to the pile of people she cared for. And in that final animatic where Byleth falls – she’s clearly so upset. She’s crying, clearly devistated. Devistation which turns into laughter when Byleth revives because she can’t believe it. I stand by my opinion that Crimson Flower is the canon ending for FE3H. It’s the only ending where the endings song is different; all 3 other paths have the same song “Edge of Dawn” but not CF – you get something different. Add to that that EoD is sung by Edelgard. And let’s not forget the symbolism. The game is Fire Emblem. What’s a fire emblem? Crest of Flames. Who posess this crets out of the main cast: Byleth & Edelgard. And in CF you unite. Also notice the same letters. Crimson Flower (CF) & Crest of Flames (CF). That’s not a coincidence.

#1 – Seteth

I honestly could fill pages on why I love Seteth as a character but for here I’ll try and keep it shortish. I’ll start with his supports. Seteth’s supports are all about his advice to the others and him trying to guide them. For Cyril, he’s talking about how it’s great to repay debts but it is also important to consider one’s future as well; he doesn’t want to see Cyril just waste his whole life in servitude to Rhea but rather to grow into his own. With Catherine, it’s concern over her safety, over how she throws herself into battle without care for the consequences. For Manuela, it starts with a lecture over her drinking habits but turns into something far more personal when his wife and daughter get mentioned. Outside of the paralogue, this is the only time an outside person gets to learn that Seteth even had/has a wife and daughter and it’s Manuela who gets told it, implying a deeper friendship. Hannerman’s involves his investiagtion of Seteth’s crest and how Seteth is constantly refuting him, obviously trying to protect himself and Flayn from others finding out the truth. With Leonie, he teaches her how to relax while fishing while she improves his own skills in the area. For Hilda, he’s trying to improve her work ethic first by confronting her about her excuses, and then by writing a story about her laziness...which does work somewhat as it gets her to work on illustrations. For Ingrid, he’s a voice of reason about the demands of her father and he’s the one who suggests that Ingrid simply talk to him about her issues, something which she didn’t consider. For Felix, he’s trying to help Felix realize his beliefs are holding him back and that he needs to make friends. With Bernie, he helps her build some confidence in her own skills and talents. And of course we can’t forget his interactions with Flayn where he goes from overly protective, to realizing he’s a bit too overbearing, to actual apologizing for that. Seteth acts as a conduit or a spark that helps inspire change in those around him, to wake up potential, or to see things differently. He’s strict and often seems somewhat unreasonable about rules and regulations but its obvious this is his way of trying to protect people. He’s shouldering massive guilt over the events that happened in the last war. He personally blames himself for Flayn being hurt and for his wife dying. This event spurred him on to becoming overprotective of his daughter, of the only thing he had left. Seteth is doing what he’s doing to PROTECT his child (unwilling to see her to come to harm), even if he’s going about it in the incorrect way. He has literally devoted his whole life to protecting Flayn to the point that when she gets kidnapped, he falls apart at the seams and is unable to do anything at all except despair and distress. Flayn has become his whole world and just about everything Seteth does is to protect her or help her. That kind of devotion from a father is incredible, especially in a series where most of the parents kinda suck. I also adore how he breaks the typical “paper-skinned mage” trope. Let’s face it, most of us probably thought the stern chuch advisor was likely going to be a mage – and then we get a wyvern rider with a lance. I could go on and on, but I’ll leave it here. Seteth is just the best character.

...this was 18 pages of writing.....

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simsinluxury · 6 years ago

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Lyyn

I sat at my desk looking over the details of my clients project for our meeting in two hours. I shuffled back and forth between pages but just could not focus.

I put my head in my hands and closed my eyes before I let out a deep breath. I stayed this way for a few minutes before picking up my phone to call my client to cancel which I hated to do especially on such short notice.

Once things were settled with my client I started to gather my stuff up to leave for today. I phoned my assistant to let her know I was leaving and for her to let my staff know as well.

Once I got in my car I called NaNa and waited for her to answer.

Hey boo!

Hey! Are you going anywhere soon or leaving?

No, why? You’re not coming to visit me?

She said a little sadly. We hadn’t seen each other since the night she left Nazar. For over a week I had no idea of where she was, she wouldn’t answer any of my calls or texts. I was going to give it two weeks before I had called her momma.

No I’m coming. I just wanted to know because I was going to come now but I know I told you later on today.

Ohh okay, well I’ll be here boo.

Okay, I should be there in about 40 minuets.

Okay, see you when you get here.

Alright.

I ended the call and turned up the music hoping it would help to clear my mind.

**40 minuets later**

I pulled up to NaNa’s grandmother’s house and parked. The last time I had been here was almost 4 years ago when she was staying with her grandmother. I grabbed my bag and headed to the front door to ring the doorbell.

A few seconds later I heard the door being unlocked.

Bee!

Hey boo!

I gave her a kiss on the cheek before she grabbed me and pulled me into a tight hug.

I couldn’t help but to admire how pretty she looked. She had cut her hair off and I loved it. She seemed to be healing and that made me beyond happy.

I am loving this hair! It’s so damn cute on you Na!

Aww thanks boo! I really like it, I had to move on from the bob.

I followed her to her bedroom and we both took a seat on her bed.

Where’s your Gma and Momma Italy?

Girl Gma is where she always is, playing bingo. She gonna be mad she missed you, I told her you were coming by later on.

Aww, if I don’t see her today I’ll make sure to come by one day next week.

I’m sure she’ll love that. My Momma went to check up on the winery process but I’m sure she’ll be back soon. Between her and Gma I don’t know who’s worse, neither one likes to leave me alone.

She and I both laughed a little.

You lucky I don’t live around the corner because you would get tired of seeing my face.

She started laughing.I removed my heels and got more comfortable.

So how are you feeling?

You know for the first time Lyyn since everything happened I can actually say I feel okay. I no longer cry everyday or feel I just want to sink and die. It’s still hard for me but I’m healing every day. I still think about Bear every day though, I wish I could just hold him.

We sat in silence for a few minutes both caught up in our own thoughts.

Lyyn I’m so sorry.

Sorry for what Na?

I’m so sorry because before I didn’t understand. I thought I did but I didn’t. Whenever I would bring up you and Jay trying for a baby again you would shut down. I thought it was because you just didn’t want to talk about it but now I understand. Talking about it is not just words. When you talk about it there also comes all the emotions and physical pain you felt that night. It’s like you are reliving that exact same moment and for that I am so sorry. I am so sorry for every time I have ever brought it up. I feel like such a shitty ass bestfriend and sister. I just want to see you happy all around.

I pulled her into a hug.

Natalia please don’t feel shitty. You’re the most amazing bestfriend/sister I could ever ask for. I knew you never meant any harm. Deep down I knew you just didn’t understand. All you knew was you just wanted me to be happy.

Thank you......thank you for everything. Although I was blocking you out you still came everyday to see me. You never missed a day no matter what. We would just sit in my bedroom in complete silence the whole time and you never minded. You happily accepted to help with my salon although you have three businesses of your own. No matter what it is you have always been here for me and for that I’m forever grateful. I seriously wouldn’t have gotten this far through this without you so seriously thank you. You don’t know how much I appreciate everything you have done for me.

You’re absolutely welcome boo but you don’t have to thank me Natalia. We’ve been bestfriends for almost 8 years, this is what I’m here for. You’ve done the same for me not once but twice. You never left my side after that horrible night and you never left my side when I got shot. You practically lived at my house you were there so much. You kept things together with my businesses while still managing and running your own. No matter when i’ve needed you you’ve always been there with no questions asked.

We hugged each other again.

Girl it’s Friday evening and we’re sitting here on the verge of tears and shit.

We both started laughing as we now heard the sounds of heavy rain outside.

Well I would say let’s go restaurant hopping like we use to do in college but as you can hear it’s raining like hell outside.

That would have been hella fun, I didn’t know they called for rain this evening.

Me either.

Whelp looks like we’re ordering delivery.

That’s fine by me.

We looked online at different places and decided on tacos. 30 minuets later we heard the doorbell.

We paid and tipped the deliver guy before we headed to the kitchen.

This looks really good.

It really does, I’m starving I haven’t ate all day.

Your ass always skipping breakfast and lunch. You’ll eat one meal all day and that’s dinner at 11 o’clock at night. You better stop that shit Lyyn I’m serious.

I know I’m trying to get better. It’s just really hard because my ass be so busy during the day I don’t have time to eat.

Well you better make time, even if it’s 15-30 minuets. Set a dedicated time and have your assistant grab you lunch. Don’t make me have to start popping up at your office everyday to make sure your ass ate lunch.

I laughed a little.

Your ass is crazy.

I’m so serious.

Oh trust me I know.

You’ve gained some weight though, it looks cute on you boo.

Yeah but I’ve been struggling to fit in my jeans so these extra pounds gotta go.

She started laughing.

Your ass is simple.

I started laughing.

I’m serious NaNa. Stress eating has not been my friend when I do get the time to eat.

I grabbed my tray and headed back to her room before she could start to grill my ass. I totally let the stress eating part slip.

Lyyn your ass is not slick!

She called behind me.

When she made it to her room I knew she was getting ready to hit me with questions. Before she could we heard someone coming through the front door. A few seconds later we heard a knock on the door.

Come in.

In the doorway stood Momma Italy.

Well hello to you too stranger.

We started laughing.

Don’t do me like that Momma Italy.

I got up to hug her.

I haven’t seen you in over two months Daughter.

I know, I’ve been out of town for work a lot. You look cute! Let me find out you had a secret date or something.

Girl bye!

NaNa and I started laughing.

She need a damn date. Momma you the only person I knew who’s been proposed to 3 times and turned each one down. What is it? What’s the matter?

Excuse you how the hell.......Momma. She been in here telling my business.

We laughed harder.

You two are something else. The only date I need is with a glass of wine and a bathtub which I’m getting ready to go on now. These builders have worked my last nerve for today.

There’s some tacos and stuff in the kitchen if you want any Momma.

Thanks Honeybun, I’ll catch up with you girls a little later.

Okay.

We both said before she headed upstairs.

Lyyn don’t think you’re off the hook. What did you mean by stress eating? What’s going on boo?

It’s nothing NaNa.

It’s definitely something. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you don’t have your ring on. I know we haven’t really talked in awhile but is this over what you told me with Jay at my shop that night?

I sighed.

I think I want a divorce.

What?

She said with a surprised look on her face.

I just.........I don’t know NaNa. I know Jayhirad lied to me about Kimani’s ass yet again. I know I saw her a block down from his studio that night I left. When she saw me she took off like a bat out of hell in the opposite direction. I gave him two fucking chances to come clean about shit Natalia. Why else would he lie to me about this bitch again unless they are fucking around. They got to be doing something, why else would she have been at his studio.

She sighed.

You know I love you two together and look at Jay as a brother so deep down I’m hoping shits not what it seems but you have a solid ass point. This is the second time he’s lied to you about her ass and under no circumstances should her ass have been at his studio.

I can still smell her stank ass perfume. For it to have been in his clothes lets me know she was hella close to him.

Damn boo I forgot all about that shit.

Before anything else could be said my phone started ringing. I grabbed it out of my bag.

When I saw the number was blocked I knew it was nobody but Kimani’s ass playing on my shit again. She had been doing this shit for a few days now. When it started ringing again NaNa gave me a questionable look.

Lyyn who is that?

I let out a breath of annoyance.

It’s nobody but Kimani’s dumb ass. She calls me from block so of course I cannot block her. No matter how many times I curse her ass out she still continues to play games on my line.

The fuck? If she calls again you don’t have to answer but trust and believe I will.

Before I could say anything my phone dinged letting me know I had a new text message. Before I clicked to open it I looked to see if I recognized the number but I didn’t. Once I did nothing could prepare me for what I was about to see. It was pictures of Jayhirad and Kimani from what looked like a video.

One she was sitting on his lap. The other she had his dick in her mouth through his pants and looked at any moment she would pull it out. I knew from the clothes Jayhirad had on in the pictures that they were from that night I went pass his studio. I jumped up and took off for the bathroom as I could now feel my food rising up my throat.

The images made me sick to my stomach. I made it to the bathroom just in time before I started to hurl up everything I had just ate.

NaNa came behind me and held my hair back. Once my stomach subsided I flushed the toilet and rinsed my mouth out.

I firmly placed my hands on the counter and closed my eyes as two tears ran down my face. NaNa came beside me and started rubbing my back.

What’s wrong boo? Did something happen?

I didn’t answer, we stood there in silence for a couple of seconds before I took off to put on my shoes. NaNa came behind me and cleaned up the food we had before she headed to the kitchen.

A minute later she returned.

Lyyn are you going to tell me what’s up? I’m not letting you leave until you do.

I didn’t say anything as I passed her the phone before I got up and grabbed my bag.

What the fuck!

Her mouth was now hanging open. She put the phone down and grabbed me in a tight hug.

I am so sorry you’re going through this Lyyn. I know you’re steaming on the inside because you’re really quiet. Whenever you get this quiet it means you’re getting ready to set shit on fire. I’m not letting you drive like this. Wherever you want to go I’ll take you but I’m not letting you drive with your mind like this. I already know you’re headed to Jayhirad’s studio so I’ll take you.

She let go and went to put on her shoes. I didn’t say anything as I waited for her.

She was right, I was so livid I couldn’t speak. I wanted to snap Jayhirad’s head off his shoulders. I stuck my phone in my bag as NaNa went to tell Momma Italy we were leaving. A few seconds later we were leaving out the door and on the way to Jayhirad’s studio. It was still pouring so I knew the usual 30 minuet drive would turn into a 50 minuet drive.

**50 minuets later**

Before NaNa could pull into the parking lot and completely park I was hopping out of her car.

Lyyn!

She called out behind me. I continued on and all that could be heard besides the rain was my heels clicking fast across the ground. Once inside I profusely clicked on the elevator button waiting for the doors to open.

Once they did I quickly got on and pressed the second level button. Before the doors could completely open I could hear the loud music which meant he was in a session. I got off and placed my bag along with the envelope I was carrying on the table.

There were two guys there, one of which was playing pool. Jayhirad was busy away with recording the other in the booth. When I reached him I hit his ass so hard that his head flew forward forcefully hitting his computer screen.

He jumped up like he was on fire ready to swing until he noticed it was me.

Yooo Bee what the fuck is wrong with you?!

I didn’t say anything as I hit his ass two more times busting his lip.

He grabbed my arms and backed me into the wall.

Bee you better calm your fucking ass down. I got fucking clients in here, the fuck wrong with you.

He said through clenched teeth.

I don’t give a fuck what you got, get the fuck off me!

A few seconds later he slowly released my arms.

You must have forgotten who the fuck you married. Jayhirad you have me completely to the heavens of the lord fucked up. I will leave you quicker than my fucking heart can beat before I let you fuck around on me. I agreed to move back here for YOU! I uprooted my whole fucking business for YOU! So YOU could expand your fucking dreams because I was good where the fuck I was at. When you lied to me about that bitch at that dinner table I knew deep down some shit was going to happen. Now I know why your ass lied yet again and couldn’t tell me the truth about what the fuck you were really doing in your office. You were too busy getting lap dances and your dick sucked. I hope you truly love the way that bitch bounce her ass, suck your dick, and fuck you because I am completely fucking done. I been thinking about a divorce heavy for the past two months now and even got the papers a few weeks ago but my big hearted ass couldn’t bring myself to go through with the shit. Now I feel no fucks and know I’m making the right decision. You want to fuck around like you’re a free man, well baby now you are. You’re a free man to do whatever you want to do and fuck whoever you want to fuck.

I went to walk off and he grabbed me.

Brooklyyn I swear on my fucking life this shit is not what it seems.

Jayhirad let fucking go of me I don’t want to hear shit you got to say.

Please I’m begging you, just listen to me for one second.

He said lightly shaking me.

Jayhirad I’m not going to tell you again to let go of me.

Bee please.

He still wouldn’t let go so I pushed back hard as I could making him stumble and let go. I went to grab the envelope. When I tried to hand it to him he wouldn’t take it so I placed it back on the table.

The only thing left that I ask of you is that you give me a peaceful divorce. That’s it.

Now that shit is over can we get back to work bruh? I’m paying for this shit by the hour to work, not to deal with all this shit here.

I heard the guy in the booth call out when I went to walk off.

I stopped and turned around. Before I knew it I took Jayhirad’s computer and threw it through the booth’s glass window shattering it. I placed my hands on the table and leaned forward towards the window.

I couldn’t fucking hear you. You want to repeat the shit again?

He stood there on mute with a crazy shocked look on his face.

That’s exactly what the fuck I thought.

I headed to grab my bag.

Jayhirad you lucky I’m still a little sane or I’d burn this place down with your ass in it. Tell your bitch if she call playing on my fucking phone one more time I will definitely find out where she lives and put her in a fucking coffin. Whatever shit you still got at the house I will be putting outside. You have until Monday to pick it up or it will be going with the trash.

You ready boo?

Yup.

NaNa and I headed for the elevator. Jayhirad came rushing behind us. NaNa gave him a look of disappointment and disgust.

Jayhirad you got to be one of the dumbest motherfuckers alive to fuck up what the fuck you had.

She said shaking her head before we got on the elevator and left.

#TSL #Story #UrbanSims #SimsInLuxury #TheSantiagoLife #Sims3 #Lyyn #NaNa #Jay #Queued

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ckerouac · 6 years ago

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fic: other duties as assigned

Title: Other Duties as Assigned (AO3)

Fandom: MCU

Summary: Peter wasn’t sure how exactly he ended up playing errand boy for the Black Widow in a department store downtown while she bullied Captain America into a new wardrobe, but if that's where the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man was needed, he wasn't going to leave his SPIDER BRO hanging.

Notes: This is all @slayediest fault - the prompt was ‘anyone takes Steve shopping for new clothes’ and, well, this happened.

Peter wasn’t sure how exactly he ended up playing errand boy for the Black Widow in a department store downtown. One minute he was working on a chemistry lab report with Ned, and then next he was getting a flurry of texts from Mr. Stark about an ‘intervention’ and ‘secret mission’ and ‘if it’s too much for you you can say no’. Which, of course he wasn’t going to say no! He was an Avenger! Well, sort of… mostly… close enough. Technically.

And then there was a text from the Black Widow asking politely if he’d be willing to help out a fellow spider because there was someone in terrible need.

HE WAS GOING TO BE SPIDER BROS WITH THE BLACK WIDOW.

Ned promised to keep the app open in his phone that they’d linked to KAREN just in case Peter needed his guy in the chair, because if it was something that Natasha Romanoff was asking for help with, it had to be something serious. Life threatening. Maybe there were more aliens. Or an accident at a chemical plant. Or a nuclear bomb. Or a mass arrest of guys on Wall Street because it turns out they were linked to HYDRA and that’s why they were trying to bring down American democracy. MJ talked about that lot, so that would totally be something that the Black Widow would be involved in. He wasn’t sure what he could do to help with that, but he could web up bad guys with the best of them and if they needed him, it didn’t matter what it was. He was going to be there!

“I just think the blue looks better,” Natasha said, reaching over to pull the navy blue t-shirt from the pile on Peter’s lap to hand to Steve. “It brings out the blue of your eyes.”

“Is that really a thing?” Steve asked, taking the shirt and looking for all intents and purposes like a defeated man as he stood in the doorway of the dressing room.

Natasha gave him a light squeeze of the shoulder. “I get that you’ve been out of the dating game for a while, but trust me. It’s a thing.”

“I’m not trying to get back into the dating game,” Steve replied. But he took the shirt, along with the pile of jeans Natasha had already handed him and retreated back into the dressing room.

“You can’t blame me for trying!” she laughed. “What about Melissa?”

“Which one is Melissa?”

“The one who coordinated the HVAC repair to the tower last month.”

Natasha…” Steve said, his voice going for ‘warning’ or ‘not again’. “You sound like Old Mrs. Goldstein who lived two floors down from me growing up. She was convinced Bucky was going to die alone and unloved if he didn’t find a girl who was dumb enough to settle for him.”

“And what about you?” Natasha asked.

That got Steve to crack open the door and smile. “She figured I’d die alone after getting punched by someone for talking back to them.”

“So, pretty much how you’re likely to die now,” Natasha pointed out.

“Pretty much,” Steve said, and closed the door once again.

“Excuse me,” Peter said. “But… um… I thought you said that there was a big crisis that needed the Avengers?”

Natasha dropped down onto the bench next to Peter and smiled. It wasn’t that it was unnerving when she smiled, Peter decided, it was just that you couldn’t tell at all what she was smiling about. Like, was she smiling about Captain America in a dressing room? Or the pile of clothes in his lap? Was she smiling about how it was silly that Peter thought she wanted to be spider bros, even though he’d never actually used the spider bros line yet? He was gonna wait until they were taking down the bad guys, and then slip is casually into conversation, and she was gonna laugh and think that it was brilliant, and then he’d name the text thread that they’d inevitably start SPIDER BROS and it would become a thing.

It’s like whenever MJ decided to smile. She only smiled when she thought he was doing something stupid.

Oh… shit… was the Black Widow smiling a ‘Peter you’re so dumb’ smile?

“What I said was there was someone who needed our help,” Natasha pointed out.

“And it was… Mr. Rogers?”

A bigger grin this time. “I love it when you call him that,” she said. “Look, I’ve been trying to get him to update his wardrobe. He lives in khakis and SHIELD shirts, unless someone specifically pulls something different out for him. I think if he had his way, he’d live in his uniform.”

“I mean, what’s wrong with that?”

Natasha leaned in a little closer. “Do you have someone you like?”

Yes. “No.”

“Have you dressed up for them in the past?”

Yes. “No.” Peter’s eyes went wide. “Wait, does Mr. Rogers have a date? Is that why we’re here? Are we getting him ready for a date? Where would someone like him go on a date? Like, the Statue of Liberty? Is that too cliche?”

She reached over and gave him a squeeze on the shoulder. Peter tried hard not to look too excited. It was the same thing she did to Captain America! They really were going to be spider bros! “It’s just a closet refresh,” she said. “Don’t think too hard about it.”

“But… if it’s not something… wait, why me?” Peter asked. “Why did you and Mr. Stark ask me to come along?”

Natasha shrugged as Steve emerged. “We told him you were struggling with a personal problem, and he jumped at the chance to help.”

“Wait, you used me as bait?!”

“And I fell for it,” Steve replied. He placed his hands on his hips and glared at Natasha. “Taking advantage of an old man is elder abuse.”

Before Peter realized what he was doing, he’d lifted his phone to take a picture of Cap’s stare of disappointment. “Sorry, sorry,” he said. “It’s just that’s the exact look you have in the videos they show when we have detention, and I always thought that was some acting they made you do, but it’s…”

“It’s just his face,” Natasha beamed. “But I’m immune to it. Plus, I don’t think that’ll be any way to get a response to profile I put up for you on SexySeniorDating.com.”

“What detention video?” Steve asked, ignoring Natasha’s jab because Peter was sure that she’d actually put up a dating profile for him behind his back. Would she?

“You know, the ‘so you’ve found yourself in detention’ video,” Peter explained, doing his best Captain America expression, complete with sigh and pursed lips. “There’s a whole bunch of them.”

Steve looked like he was going to deflate right there, and his frown was about as large as Natasha’s grin. “I still can’t believe I let Tony talk me into those,” he mumbled. “Just like your USO tour,” he mimicked. “But enriching the minds of today’s youth.”

“You were recently thawed, your brain was probably still a little icy,” Natasha pointed.

“No, wait, they’re great!” Peter insisted. Insulting Captain America would probably completely squash his plans to be spider bros with the Black Widow cause even if she liked to make fun of him, no one else could make fun of Captain America. I mean, he was CAPTAIN AMERICA. Why would anyone want to make fun of him? He was amazing, and he was here hanging out with Peter, even if it was technically because Peter was bait in a convoluted plot for the Black Widow to keep making fun of him…

Wait… ‘squash’... like a bug… he just got that! He needed to remember to tell Ned that he’d come up with a great spider pun with his spider bro Natasha.

“I can pull one up for you!”

“Please don’t.” “I already have one as my voicemail message.”

Steve and Natasha turned to stare at each other. Peter was pretty sure neither of them were telepathic, but he couldn’t actually be sure, but there was obviously something getting exchanged between them.

Steve was the first to relent. He sighed, shook his head, and grabbed another couple of shirts from Peter’s lap pile. “Let’s get this over with,” he said, retreating back into the dressing room.

“Wait, I’m going to find you a jacket,” Natasha said.

“I already have a jacket.”

“Not one you’ve gotten shot in, a nice blazer,” she called out as she left Peter to watch Steve and, as she’d explained when this whole outing started, ‘make sure he didn’t run away like a coward’.

“Is.. there anything I can get you, Mr. Rogers?” Peter asked.

A laugh came from behind the door. “No, kid, I’m fine.”

“I’m sorry for being bait,” Peter continued. “I thought there was, you know, a thing that needed attention and all hands on deck. I didn’t know shopping was part of the… internship. Mr. Stark keeps it pretty… undefined. You know, and I totally get why, and I’m not complaining about it at all. That’s not what I’m saying. I’m happy to be here and do whatever I can to help. I just didn’t think it would be… shopping buddy.”

“I’m pretty sure this falls under other duties as assigned. But if it makes you feel any better, people have tricked me into foolish job related duties since the 40s.”

OMG he and Captain America had something in common! Maybe it wasn’t just him and the Black Widow that were going to be SPIDER BROS. Maybe Captain America didn’t think he was just a kid from Queens and they were going to be bros too! He didn’t seem to hold the airport stuff against him. Not too much. He only brought it up once. Maybe twice. The Falcon brought it up a lot more. But if Captain America thought they were just like each other… oh man, if his seven-year-old self and his Captain America lunch box could see him now. Wait, there could be a lunch box with both Captain America AND Spider-Man on it! With their arms around each other! Giving a thumbs up!

He had to text Ned. He’d die seeing the same look on Cap’s face as the videos. just out w bw & cap bc we’re bff now he texted along with the picture, followed quickly by disappointed!cap is disappointed .

The response was immediate, like Peter knew it would be.

...but it wasn’t Ned.

I thought you were at Ned’s studying??

He’d accidentally texted Aunt May.

sorry!! I meant to send that to Ned

That was fine. She knew about… all of it. And it proved he wasn’t getting shot at or thrown off a building or any of the number of things she’d yelled at him that Mr. Start was irresponsible for letting happen to him once she found him in his suit. And considering that that’s what he thought he’d be doing on this little outing, she should appreciate how little danger he was in compared to how much he could’ve been in if what he thought was going to happen actually had happened. How could she object to a shopping trip… even if he had told her this morning he was spending the day with Ned working on their lab reports?

Why is Captain America disappointed with you?? What did you do?? AM I GOING TO BE DISAPPOINTED WITH YOU??

no it’s fine I didn’t do anything. I’m at my internship.

“Are you texting the girl?” Natasha asked, scaring the shit out of Peter because for some reason she was the only one who could sneak up behind him without his senses catching on. “Is it the one who you dressed up for that you said you didn’t?”

“What? No!” Peter tried to look as casual as possible, but his phone started buzzing again. Wait, I recognize those dressing rooms. I’m going to give Captain America a piece of my mind.

“Is something wrong?” Steve asked, cracking open the door to the dressing room and catching the blazer Natasha decided to throw at him. “Do we need to-”

“My aunt is coming cause I accidentally texted her, and I thought I was texting Ned cause you made the face and I thought he’d find it funny, and May’s too worried that I’ve done something to make Captain America mad at me, and I think she’s coming to yell at you, so please don’t be angry with her, she doesn’t mean it, she just… I think she likes yelling at people. Mostly Mr. Stark,” Peter explained. “But she doesn’t yell at him a lot! Only when he shows up. Or when I come home with a bloody nose. But those aren’t always Mr. Stark’s fault.”

“Just usually,” Steve said. “Does she… know about...”

Peter nodded. “Yeah, she knows.”

“Maybe this is a good thing,” Natasha said. “We could use another opinion. Because those jeans are going to make Heather in Operations -- “

“No.”

“Or how about Tonya in -”

“Natasha.”

She just smiled that MJ smile again. Peter was certain there was no way she was giving up, and surely Cap realized that. He could say no all he wanted, but Peter would bet money she’d have him on a date by the end of the week.

It took 15 minutes, but eventually the back and forth interrupted by, “Peter?”

The three of them turned at the new voice and Peter gave his Aunt May the most contrite, most apologetic, most ‘but at least I’m not dangling off of a building and the highlight of the 11pm news’ wave that he could muster. “Hi Aunt May.”

“I think you wanted to yell at him,” Natasha added motioning to Steve, who at this point was standing there with a pile of clothes draped across his arm.

“Yes,” May said, pausing to just stare at him for a moment. Peter was sure this wasn’t going to end well. She wasn't impressed at all with Mr. Stark each time he showed up, and sure he was the only one of the Avengers to show up at their apartment, but if she wasn’t impressed by Iron Man, surely she wasn’t going to be any more impressed by Captain America, especially once she got it into her head that he was angry with him. “You’re a lot taller in person.”

Steve smiled. “Yeah, I get that. Sorry, where are my manners. I’m Steve,” he said, extending his free hand.

May shook his hand and smiled as well. “May Parker. You know Peter through… his internship?”

Steve nodded. “He’s a good kid. Quick on his feet,” he added.

“Sticks with something until it’s finished?” May volleyed back.

“Really swings for the wall,” Steve replied, amused. He was interrupted by Natasha clearing her throat. “Oh, and this is Natasha.”

May let go of Steve’s hand a gave the Black Widow a wave. “Yeah. These are not the friends I thought Peter would be hanging out with in high school,” she added. “Or the job I thought he’d have in high school. I mean, Jesus, I worked in a grocery store in high school.”

“Oh, really? Me too!” Steve beamed. “And, I don’t mean to brag, but I got pretty good at stacking apples into a pyramid.”

“And there would be some ass who thought it was funny to pull the piece of fruit from the bottom of the stack?” May laughed.

“And then I’d point it out and get knocked around a bit in the alley,” Steve admitted. “They didn’t pay me enough to put up with that kind of jerk.”

“How much did they pay you?”

He grinned. “A quarter.”

“Oh yeah, you totally deserved at least 30 cents,” May replied.

“Yeah, that’s what FDR said too,” he laughed.

“See, May, he’s not angry at me,” Peter interjected. He didn’t want May to get laughed at any more by Captain America, and if he could just convince her that he was fine, and Captain America wasn’t angry with him any more, and it was just a joke, she wouldn’t have to hang out in the dressing room with them any more. “His disappointed face was for something else.”

“What was his disappointed face for, then?” May asked.

“I got tricked into going shopping,” Steve admitted. “Natasha thought I could use some help with some new clothes and told me that Peter needed my help.”

“And you just wanted to help him?” May asked.

“He’s a good kid,” Steve said. “Of course I wanted to help him if he needed it.”

“Yeah, I like him.” May turned and smiled at Peter over her shoulder. “I think I’ll keep him.”

“So… everything’s cool,” Peter said. “You can head home.”

“Or you could help Steve decide between a couple of shirts that he was debating,” Natasha intejected. “We could use another woman’s opinion. I like the blue, but Steve is partial to the white.”

“Sure,” May said. “Always glad to help. And blue is always a good color. Especially with your eyes,” she added.

Okay, so not how Peter saw the afternoon going. At this rate he’d never find the right time to suggest to Natasha that they be SPIDER BROS, especially not with May bothering Captain America…

***

“May?” Peter called out as he closed the apartment door and dropped his backpack on the couch. “I’m home.”

“How was school?” she called out from her bedroom.

“It was fine,” Peter answered. “Sorry I’m late, we had Decathlon practice and then I had to finish my lab report with Ned.”

“Not a problem, dinner is in the fridge. Blue lid. The spaghetti from last night.”

“Are you going somewhere? I thought you worked days this week?”

There was a knock at the door. “Peter, can you get that?”

“Sure.” He opened it to find Steve standing there, in one of the outfits Natasha had bullied him into buying last Saturday. “Hi Mr. Rogers. Hey, wait, what are you doing here? Does… does Mr. Stark need me? Did he send you to come get me? Wait, what’s going on, I can… May!” he called out. “I’m going out-”

“Hey, no, it’s not an internship thing,” Steve said, stepping inside the apartment and closing the door behind him. “Not an Avengers thing.”

“Oh,” Peter said. “Then what are you doing here?”

May popped her head out into the living room and smiled. “Hey, you found it okay.”

“Yeah,” Steve replied. “Sorry, I’m a little early. Never spent much time in Queens.”

“Not a problem, I’m ready to go.”

Peter realized that May looked a lot nicer than her normal Tuesday night sweatshirt and… “Wait, where are you going?”

“Steve and I are going to grab some dinner,” May said. “Like I said, spaghetti is in the fridge. I’ll be back in a little while.” She kissed his forehead as she walked past. “Make good choices.”

“Good to see you, Peter,” Steve said before focusing on May. “You look really nice.”

“Why thank you.” She gave a quick little tug on the hemline of his t-shirt as he opened the door for her and led her out into the hall. “Blue looks really good on you.”

It took Peter a full minute after the door closed before he was able to sputter out, “You… make good choices.” Before he could question it any further, his phone buzzed.

Thx for your help on Sat! Mission accomplished - FINALLY got old man out on a date

No shit, Peter thought, as he changed the name of the text thread from ‘Natasha’ to ‘SPIDER BROS’. She could just deal with it.

#mcu #fanfic #marvel #mcu fic #spiderman #chasingkerouac writes #this is fluff #shameless fluff #and my first time writing in this fandom

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londoncapsule · 7 years ago

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Transcript of Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s interview on the Howard Stern Show

I put together a rough transcript of Jeff’s latest appearance on the Howard Stern Show on 9 April 2018.

Since it was an almost hour-long interview, it’s quite a long list and also due to the NSFW topics discussed, you can find the rest of the transcript under the ‘Keep reading’ bar.

During the interview Stern asked Jeff some highly personal questions as well, but Jeff answered all of them (and did so with class and humour, I think) so proceed at your own risk if you’re not comfortable with reading about such personal stuff.

On fans and fame

- Jeff lets his beard grow long now because he’s off work, “it’s my farm thing” and “hopefully people don’t stop me on the street to tell me to go to hell”, because he gets all sorts of stuff in the streets these days

- since he’s on The Walking Dead he has experienced a new level of fame with fans, paparazzi and autograph hunters even stalking him at the airport by buying a plane ticket and stalking him at the gate, there were even fights breaking out in Chicago when he refused to sign stuff for people who were trampling over other people at the airport

- while leaving Good Morning America that morning he was called a “motherfucker” for not stopping to sign when he was late for the Howard Stern Show, which really pissed him off because they were acting like he owed them somehow, but he was like “I don’t know you, guys”

- he doesn’t want to stop for selfies all the time, especially when he’s out and about with his wife and kids, the only time he sometimes makes an exception when it’s for a little kid (unless they are being manipulated by their parents standing behind them), the kids can get any but it’s the adults that are “super rude”, but he loves the fans and tries to be very good to them, it’s “the guys trying to make a living selling your autograph online” who bother him

On his farm

- their farm has “turned into more or less a rescue operation”, they take in a lot of alpaca and now have like 16 of them, because alpaca were thought to be the “it” animals some years ago and many people got rid of them later, they are really sweet animals except for shearing time once or twice a year when they spit on you, but they have to be sheared because they don’t shed and the summer heat is not good for them, Jeff has someone helping him with their shearing but he sits on top of them while they gets sheared and they process the wool and at some point they could have a little business of it, but for now they give the wool to friends who knit

- his six-month old baby donkey, Paxton is following him around the farm like a puppy, he got three donkeys last year for Father’s Day from Hil, and 2 days later there were four donkeys, they didn’t know that one of the donkeys was pregnant, he was there when Paxton was born and he imprinted on Jeff, before the press tour he had to “fix him” because Paxton just started getting amorous and he didn’t want him to breed with his mother, so Jeff’s not sure if upon his return Paxton will look him in the eye again

- he just wants to be a “gentleman farmer”, it’s now kinda turning into a more full-time thing for them, he has a total of 120 acres of land and “it’s neat” and “really beautiful”

- they are active in the community and still have the candy store they saved together with Paul Rudd

- Rhinebeck is an an hour and a half from New York City, “hour forty tops”

- when he was doing The Good Wife he took the train to go to work, because it takes him 12 minutes to get to the Poughkeepsie station from his farm and then he took the train to Penn Station every day

- Jeff invited Stern to visit him on the farm for the day to paint, but Stern was worried because they don’t know each other that well and “you are Negan”, but Jeff replied “I’m not really Negan in real life though man!”

- Stern was still worried about the idea, so Jeff offered to leave him the farm, or they can walk or drive around the farm, he has 40 acres of just woods, three houses on the property, he’s got a herd of highland kettle, every spring they bring in yearling melt cows with their mothers he raises and then they go to the milk farm and then he brings in another set

- Jeff loves the farm life so much that sometimes he doesn’t want to go back to acting, but he hasn’t made enough money yet to do that, Stern asked him how much money he would need to stop acting and just live on the farm comfortably and take care of his family, to which Jeff said that he wants the farm to be completely paid off and his kids to go to college, he doesn’t need a big number, “I don’t know, 20? But like taxed and for that you have to make 40″ but he doesn’t think he’s getting there

On his bromance with Norman

- Norman is “awesome” and he “loves him”, he’s family and was the first person to come and see Jeff’s baby after she was born

- Jeff and Norman met like 20 years ago, they hung out, were in the same circle but then he didn’t see or talk to him for 10 years at least and when Jeff joined the show they “were just joined at the hip”, Norman was super stoked that Jeff got the role and that he knew him, but had nothing to do with Jeff getting the role, they are together all the time, Norman bought a place up near Jeff’s farm in Rhinebeck, their bromance is ”solid” and Jeff’s happy that at almost 52 he has a best friend

- he was the type of guy with a guy best friend in his 20s but when he started dating and then met Hilarie that “all went out the fucking window” and since he lives on the farm now with his family there are “no boyfriends around anymore”

- Jeff and Norman live next to each other in Georgia and are there without significant others for most of their lives now, when they’re not working they are on their bikes and sometimes when Norman’s not working that day he would drive by the set (they live an hour away from the set) to meet Jeff and they would have some bro time, that’s their quality time together, but since they are on their bikes they are not talking to each other, but on the show Negan and Daryl "are totally not bro at all”

- Jeff confirmed that Norman and Diane Kruger are together and that “she’s beautiful” and “he’s very happy” and that Stern should have him on the show because he’s listening to him every day too

On riding motorbikes

- last year Jeff and Norman rode on Norman’s TV show Ride around Spain and this year in London (which was “kinda sucky because it rained the whole time”) and all over England and while shooting they follow the camera van so they don’t have to know the way or check the GPS

- Jeff is aware of the dangers of biking and has seen some bad stuff but has always ridden knock-on on that and has always been very lucky

- he has 7 bikes, is a Harley guy (Norman’s a Triumph guy), has wanted a Harley Davidson since he was a kid and has had a relationship with Harley Davidson ever since he could afford to buy his first one

- Jeff’s dad rides too, he has a Harley as well and Jeff just saw him three weeks before the interview, they were riding together out in Palm Desert

On acting

- Jeff still thinks about his former manager who had dropped him before he made his big break by landing Grey’s Anatomy, Supernatural and Weeds, and kinda hopes “she’s kicking herself in the balls” but he doesn’t run into her these days since he moved from California years ago and now lives in Upstate New York

- Howard asked his opinion on when a struggling actor should give up acting and Jeff said that he doesn’t know because he was there at that point when he was ready to give up but at 37 he didn’t know what to do, if should he go back to college (he dropped out of college after 1 month) and he survived by building decks and fences and had no fall-back plan (”I put all my eggs in one basket”), he didn’t own a home, had a room mate, his biggest concern was making sure his dog had food and he had rent on the table, his parents weren’t fully behind his plans either, since he only got minor roles (or he wasn’t even recognisable due to being masked as an alien) or roles in shows that got cancelled or were not picked up, so what kept him in the game was that he had nothing else to do and from the age of 30 on he kept extending the deadline by 1 more year of when he would give up, he did auditions but always almost got the role, he was always auditioning for Jon Hamm (”fucking Jon Hamm destroyed my shit for a while”)

- Jeff thinks that “we don’t make enough movies anymore”, there are huge blockbusters but not enough little art films out there with brilliant acting, it’s all going on TV now, Jeff loves TV but doesn’t know what’s going on anymore because there is so much of it, it’s hard to keep up, but he wants to start watching The Bachelor because Howard likes it so much

On The Walking Dead

- Jeff promised to get Stern a Lucille so he can bash some people over the head

- Stern hates that the night scenes on The Walking Dead are too dark and you can’t see anything and Jeff has a problem with that too and hates night shoots and would do anything but night shoots, and thinks that work suffers because of that for the acting and the crew, especially midway through the season (“you’re all hurtin’, everybody’s in bad shape”)

- when they killed of Carl he “wasn’t happy” and was “bummed” because he had been a fan of the comic book before taking on the show and one of his favourite storylines was the Carl-Negan relationship, it was one of the reasons he wanted to do the show and now it’s “fucking gone”

- Andy broke Jeff’s nose in the mid-season finale of season 8 during their fist fight, and Jeff knew that he was going to punch him because Andy gets so amped up before scenes, drinks a lot of coffee, gets excited, and they did rehearse the scene but Andy went from 50% during rehearsal to 130% when the cameras were rolling, Jeff knew immediately when the scene started that they were too close to each other in the scene, they were hitting each other and on the second hit Andy cracked him on the bridge of his nose, he dropped to a knee and his eyes watered and he was like “Ah, dude!”, Andy was more upset about it than Jeff, “he’s not an asshole at all, he’s a great dude”, they kept shooting, Jeff took a minute, put an ice pack on his nose and went back to shooting after 10 minutes, and Andy sent Jeff the a massage certificate and a facial the day after, but Jeff doesn’t do them, “Andy is one of the sweetest people you’ll ever meet in your life”, his nose was just popped back into place and had an X-ray done later but it was just a hairline fraction with a little bit of blood, but later in the season Jeff “kicked Andy in the nuts” which made him feel better

On the Negan vs Rick relationship

- they talked about Jeff saying on GMA that morning that he feels that on The Walking Dead Negan and Rick are equally bad, Howard said that Negan is way worse than Rick, because he forces women to marry him and fuck him, to which Jeff argued that “we never see him fuck, we don’t know”, but then they argued that he’s trying to get them pregnant, but Jeff said that “that was him getting in Dwight’s head” and Howard added that Negan irons the faces of people and burns them in the furnace as punishment and Rick would never do that, and he’s enslaving people, but Jeff argued that he isn’t enslaving them and they can go if they want

- Jeff mentioned the the kill ratio, Rick killed 50 of his people in their sleep and started the whole conflict, “Negan hasn’t done anything to Rick and his group” at that point, then Daryl took out another 20 of his guys with a bazooka, by this point Negan had lost like 70 people and then Negan killed Abraham as punishment, but because Norman/Daryl punched him, he sadly had to kill Glenn too, but Jeff “still blames Norman for that”

On Rampage and Dwayne Johnson

- Dwayne Johnson’s huge success is driving Jeff nuts “maybe a little bit”, he thinks Dwayne is such a big movie star because he’s got the ability to make fun of himself and is kinda self-deprecating and “as an audience we love that” and we all think that he’s a guy we could have a beer with, Dwayne works very hard, and Jeff wouldn’t be surprised if he ran for president, he thinks Dwayne is a very smart guy business wise, and Jeff calls him “Dwayne” or just “Rock”

- when Dwayne landed on him during a stunt while shooting the scene where the plane goes down he felt “like a freezer falling” on him but they have never worked out together

- they talked about the feud Dwayne Johnson and Vin Diesel had during shooting The Fast & Furious about Vin not coming out of his trailer, which neither Stern, nor Jeff understand (”it’s one of my peeves”), Jeff said he’s with Dwayne on this, because when he arrives on the set he’s ready to go and do the scene

- Rampage is “a popcorn movie at its finest” and “believe it or not it has some heart in there” and Dwayne and George are “cute as shit” in the movie

- Howard was wondering if George had a cock and massive balls in the movie but Jeff said no, later Howard’s looked up that an erect gorilla cock is 1 to 3 inches long only, and they were talking about cock sizes, to which Jeff added that “I’m all talk myself”

- they mentioned how hot Naomie Harris is, “she’s the real deal, a really cool chick”, Howard asked if she had a boyfriend and Jeff said no because she can’t meet any good men and she even asked Jeff if he knew anybody but he said that all the decent guys he knows are with somebody and “she’s gorgeous”, but maybe she’s too picky but Howard commented that Jeff should feel great around women like her being the greatest guy around them and that they eat their heart out that they can’t be with him because he’s married already, to which Jeff was just snickering

On his private life and family

- his first marriage didn’t end because he was a struggling actor but because his best friend had an affair with his wife, and he’s still his friend, it didn’t even faze him really, and wasn’t mad at her because “we shouldn’t have gotten married”, it was a stupid thing, they were married for like 3 months, but he was really disappointed with his buddy for breaking the bro code and didn’t talk to him for a year and then ended up with him in a fist fight at an audition at the Warner Brothers lot but then it was over and now they are buddies again, but his marriage was gonna get annulled regardless, they were both too young, too stupid and six years later they were friendly again with his ex-wife, it was a Vegas wedding because they didn’t have any money, and being married when you are broke is “ridiculous”, because he couldn’t even support himself or feed his dog

- he calls his new-born daughter Georgie, they named her after an episode of Bonanza (”A Girl Named George”) and Gus was named after Augustus McCrae in Lonesome Dove, because Jeff’s got “this western theme going” and thinks that “in my other life I must have been a cowboy of some sort”

- he could live without acting “a lot less”, he would be happy to do one movie a year, and do some writing and try directing at some point in his life, but he’s been so busy going from one job to the other and he feels like he’s missing out, he’s really feeling it now with Gus, when he leaves to work (he’s shooting The Walking Dead between the end of April until Thanksgiving) and he tries to get home on weekends but it’s not enough with an 8-year old and it gets really emotional, but with George “unless you have a boob with some milk in it, she doesn’t give a shit” and “she looks at me after like 5 minutes like ‘Where’s my mum? Give me my mum!’“

- Jeff doesn’t work out (”Dude, does it look like I work out? I throw around bails of hay around on the farm.”), he hasn’t seen the inside of a gym in 20 years, he works the farm as exercise, down in their basement they have a running machine but it just has 1 mile on and is “collecting dust”, Gus has a genetic disorder called PKU, his body can’t process protein so he eats a protein shake, which made Jeff’s and Hilarie’s diet much healthier, they watch what they eat, he walks his 120-acre farm as much as possible, he’s doing chores and dinking around, he chops a lot of wood, he heats his farm in the winter time with fire wood

- he doesn’t have a huge entourage, is “low maintenance”

- both of his kids were born at a hospital, not at home, he delivered them, cut the umbilical cord, had no idea what to do, thought he would be there just to lend support or hold a leg, but they had a midwife who pushed him in there as soon as the baby’s head was crowning, with Gus he waited too long and he got stuck in “no-man’s land” and “his head was shaped like a cone”, with George he was ready, and as soon as she crowned he grabbed her by the cheeks and pulled her right out perfectly

- Stern was wondering if having seen Hil give birth to their kids and the image of “the baby’s head poking through the vagina” is bothering Jeff sexually now, to which Jeff said that he has “seen a vagina before” and for some reason separates the two, it’s not the same thing, and Hil is “more beautiful than she’s ever been” and “was the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen while letting it all hang out”

- Stern asked if they went back right back into “banging” to which Jeff replied that it takes a little bit, a little healing and letting that rest, but “yeah, we do all right”

- Stern asked him if they wanted more kids, to which he said “Jeez, no! We’re tapping out. Oh, dude, I’m 52!”, it’s too perfect that they have a boy and a girl now, since they were trying for a second baby since Gus was born, it was a rough go, they lost a couple of babies, it was an emotional ride for them so now “we’re done” and he thinks he will "snip the balls”, if he did it to his donkey he “might as well do it to myself”, but he feels that now he’s almost so old it “maybe shouldn’t work anyway”, Stern suggested that he should wear a rubber, because it slows him down, to which Jeff replied “I got you, I feel you on that” and “I don’t know what we will do” and he’s gonna “Howard Stern my shit” and Stern added that fucking a woman is the greatest thing to which Jeff said it’s something magical, but they agreed to discuss this further together on a different occasion together with Norman

- during the farewells Jeff said to Stern that “I just love ya” and the thing he had been the most proud of in his career was being on the show before and he still has people coming up to him every day saying that his interview on Stern was the greatest thing they had ever heard

If you want to listen to the full interview, you can do it here.

#jdm #jeffrey dean morgan #howard stern #hilarie burton #gus morgan #norman reedus #dwayne johnson #twd #the walking dead #rampage

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deeeelightfuldee · 3 years ago

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surveyss 008.

1. Can you remember what you were doing at 8:15 this morning? I was just staring at my ceiling. 2. In your phone’s contacts, who is the first person listed under the letter ‘R’? When did you last see that person? Rana. Uhhh, I don’t think we ever really saw one another in person because of Covid, but maybe once or twice in passing 2 years ago. 3. If someone is sticking their nose into your business where it isn’t wanted, how would you deal with that? Would you say something to them?I tend to either withdraw entirely, change the subject, or just flat out say well that isn’t something I feel comfortable discussing. I’m kind of over spending so much energy to make everyone else comfortable and myself miserable.

4. What did you have for lunch today? Or, if you haven’t had lunch yet, what do you think you will have? I had a bagel for breakfast/lunch.

5. Is there someone you desperately want to see/speak to atm, but you can’t? Yeppppppp. I really want to talk to and see kile, but that won’t happen. He won’t message, or try to contact. I’m pretty convinced he never wanted to come out here anyway, so I guess it’s for the best. It’ll get easier.

6. Do you and your significant other have a special song? What is it? no sig other at the moment. 7. If you HAD to sing something on karaoke, what song would you choose? Turn on the radio by reba is the first one that came to mind hahaha.

8. Can you remember the last time you felt ill? What was wrong with you? Yeah, today! I think some of it is stress related.. not sleeping, not eating the best, but I have been having these awful headaches and it’s been making me super nauseated.

9. What time is it now? Are you tired? It is 10:35 pm and I’m not really tired. Mentally I’m freaking wiped, but I won’t be able to shut my brain off for some time. 10. If you wear make-up, do you take it with you, to reapply throughout the day? Does your make-up stay for a long time after you first apply it, or do you find that you need to reapply often? Are you wearing any make-up atm? I seldom take it with me unless I plan on being super warm, wet, or gone overnight. It typically stays for a long time. I have a little left over but I am not feeling up to going and washing it off.

11. What if you found the last person you kissed, in bed with the last person you texted? Hahahahahaha, well I know that they are both straight so I doubt it would happen. If it was the last opposite sex situation uhh, it would be very surprising because she is happily in a relationship and he has no idea really where she is. 12. The last person you held hands with - have you ever kissed them? Not yet.

13. Can you remember what your parents bought you for Christmas last year? My mom got me so many lovely gifts. She got me an awesome speaker, art stuff, slippers, perfume, etc. She spoils me. My dad has never gotten me anything for Christmas.

14. Think about the person you fell hardest for. Why do you think your feelings for this person were so strong? How is he/she different compared to everyone else you’ve had feelings for? Oooo boy. There are two people that I have had really strong feelings for that are completely different from one another. One of them was just... so .. in sync with me. I could flirt shamelessly with him, he calmed every insecurity, had this smile that melted me, and we were like the most beautiful fit at the worst possible time. He was smart, super dang funny, helpful, patient, kind, driven, talented, hard working, thoughtful, and made me feel so safe and so special. The other guy I had fought feelings for for a while. I was determined not to like him because he was self-centered, hard-headed, cocky, and it just bothered me. However, over time he morphed into this like... completely different person. He began to work on himself and he poured SO MUCH time, effort, money, and energy into making me feel like the most incredible creature he’d ever encountered. He is intelligent, stubborn, generous, and was my very best friend that I just felt whole when talking to him. We didn’t live near one another, but it felt like I took him with me everywhere every day because we just stayed in contact constantly. He became this amazing version of himself that just... so fit me.

30. Have you ever caught your friend cheating on their boyfriend/girlfriend? If you have, what did you do about it? If you haven’t, what do you think you would do? Yeah I have and I called her out on it haaaaaaard core. Her sig other found out and even saw the texts of me saying “you need to tell him NOW.”

31. When your last relationship ended, how long was it before you felt ready to think about being with someone else? I think it’ll be a while. I wasn’t even in an official relationship this last time, though it felt like it. The previous one it took me maybe a year or so before I dated again, but a lot of that was because I just genuinely didn’t have the schedule.

32. Has any of your friends ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend that you found attractive, and you would secretly have liked to have for yourself? Hmmm.. I’ve found some attractive, but no not for myself. I’m very picky and (without sounding terribly cocky) I know what I am worth. I bring a LOT to the table and I just don’t want to settle. The guys that I’m thinking of are PHENOMENAL fits for the girls they are with, but not for me. My needs are different.

33. How many guys do you know named Matthew? Love that name. always wanted to marry a matthew. I know probably 5? --- none are marriage material HA

34. Think about the last person that made you cry. Would that person be there for you if you needed help? Uhhh, I guess it depends on the help. I honestly think a couple months ago he would have dropped anything to help me any time for any reason. He was always dependable. But now it kind of seems like .. idk. He just doesn’t care about me. I think if I needed help that was financial? maybe he would step in. But beyond that, no I don’t think so. Wow, thats.. hard to think about.

35. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to sleep last night? Do you remember what you talked about? Kile. We talked about how we were done. We discussed an airbnb for some reason.

36. Has someone of the opposite sex made you cry at any point during the last 24 hours? Yeppppppppppppppppppp. Which is unusual for me, but this is the loss of a really very close relationship. It’s the adjustment period.

37. Is there anything you would like to say to your most recent ex? Depends on what you call an ex. an official boyfriend, gosh no. I am very much OK not ever talking to him again. If it is this semi-relational situation, yeah there’s a lot I would say, but it doesn’t quite seem.. no.

38. If your friends are sexually active but you aren’t, does that bother you? Have you ever felt pressured to have sex before you were ready, because your friends had done it? It doesn’t bother me at all. My friends have different viewpoints regarding sex and they know mine is totally different than theirs because of my trauma. Definitely never felt pressured by them.

39. In your opinion, what is the difference between having a crush and being in love? Have your own experiences helped you to realise that there is a difference? Crushes are like “eek, I hope he looks at me! I hope we bump into one another! I hope our hands “accidentally” brush against one another” whereas love is just consuming. It’s loyalty. It’s the deeper... passionate and steady feelings. It’s working towards making another persons life better without looking for anything in return.

40. Did the last person you hugged have any of these letters in their name: T, R, K, P, J? R 41. What’s the most unhealthy thing you’ve eaten in the last 24 hours? m&ms

42. What was the last compliment you received from someone of the opposite sex? I was just asked if I could be someone’s sugar baby because “your eyes scream beauty while looking trustworthy and genuine” lololol. 43. Who did you last say ‘I love you’ to? What colour are that person’s eyes? My sister, blue eyes.

44. If you took away the first and third letters of your name, what would you then be called? Ina.

45. Name 7 things that make you happy, and explain how it might affect you if you had to give them up. Benny, family, school, air conditioning, pools, bobs burgers, bread --Some of these things I don’t have access to and lemme tell you it is BRUTAL. Some of these things would destroy me if I lost them.

46. Think about your Facebook profile photo. What kind of assumptions do you think a stranger might make about you, from seeing that photograph? Would any of these assumptions be correct? Yikes I don’t even know what that photo is. They’d probably think “wow, thats an old looking photo and why doesn’t she ever update her profile” and each of those statements would be correct.

47. You buy a bar of chocolate, but you decide that you don’t want to eat it now, and put it in the fridge. When you go back later, half of it’s gone - someone else has started eating it! Who are you most likely to blame? My grandma forrrrrrrrrr sure.

48. Choose 5 friends, and talk briefly about each person’s longest/most serious relationship. Who was the relationship with, and how long did it last? Oye. No. 49. Do you think it’s wrong for someone to commit themselves to a long-term relationship at a young age? Explain. No. I think the only downside is that you lose the ability to learn who you are on your own, your beliefs, values, standpoints, non-negotiables, standards, etc. without the influence of the other person. Plus, getting together really young takes away the ability to think about yourself solely which is kind of a bummer. 50. Is there something happening in the near future, that you’re looking forward to? The distraction of the holiday will be wonderful.

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suchawonderfullife · 7 years ago

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5 months post treatment: given the all clear, back to work and future plans!

I haven’t updated for a while but I’ve got lots of positivity to share. I’ve attached the above photo because of the truth in it. I don’t mean it in a egotistical way, but for those who know my journey and how far I have come, I want that to inspire others to never give up on recovering their health. I truly believe our bodies have the amazing ability to heal themselves, just as mine has done. That doesn’t mean the way I recovered my health will work for you, but it’s about finding the right combination of things that your body needs to trigger that healing.

I would also like to add the importance of not taking a doctors words or advice as gospel. My CFS Specialist (whom I hold in very high regard) told me that I would be lucky to reach 50% health and that would be as good as it’ll get for the rest of my life. Boy was he wrong. My Hansa dr and Osteo in Melbourne have opinions on treatments that I disagree with, so I do my own research and make up my own mind. You know your body better than anyone and in buddhism we are taught that “what you believe to be true, the opposite of that is also true, depending on time, place and circumstance.”

Here is where I’m at:

CURRENT LEVEL OF HEALTH/CURRENT TREATMENT I would say I’m at around 80% health now. Upon my first visit to Hansa almost 1 year ago, I would have said I was fluctuating between 40-60% health. My health is far more stable and consistent now too. I’m still on all my Hansa remedies and I could potentially be on them for another year. It’s really up to me how long I take them for. I feel worse on treatment because it is still doing stuff. On the days I don’t take treatment, I pretty much feel “normal.” Treatment can affect my mood and bring on depression, anxiety, anger, mood swings, along with physical symptoms such as nausea, fatigue, insomnia, organ pain and more.

I received some really good news from my Hansa Dr the other day. I sent him an email, enquiring about coming back for a third round of treatment in November this year. He responded that due to my current level of health, it is not recommended that I return, unless I start going backwards. He said at 80% health there are things I can now do at home to bridge that gap, rather than travelling all that way for such extreme treatment. I honestly cried when I read this. It was confirmation as to how well I really was doing and that all my hard work has paid off. I have worked really bloody hard to get to this level of health. Treatment is not easy, but neither is being sick. I truly believe that I can heal my body by implementing other strategies on my own now too.

Something amazing that happened 2 months ago, is that I was well enough to drive 8 hours to Canberra for my brother’s wedding. In the 9 years he’s lived there, I’ve never been well enough to visit him, not even to get on a plane. I drove the entire 8 hours by myself and spent a whole week surrounded by family, driving around, attending my brother’s wedding and then having to drive home. It was a massive achievement which boosted my confidence in knowing my body can now cope with something of that magnitude.

MENTAL/EMOTIONAL HEALING Something I still need to work on is releasing anger from my body. I read a book that explains the way you react to current circumstances is an indication of the emotions trapped in your body. I react very easily to situations with anger. I’m angry a lot and I’m very aware of it. I will do some more EMDR sessions but I’m hoping to find another method to help release these emotions from my body as they serve me no purpose.

Healing your mind I believe is big part of helping your body heal. Before leaving for Hansa I made sure I changed my attitude towards illness. I wanted to do all I could to detach from having an illness as part of my identity. My fear was that I subconsciously attached to my illness and my brain would not want to let go of that “story.” I really think I’ve detached from that way of thinking. I no longer say “I have Lyme Disease” or “I’m being treated for Lyme.” Anything that associates an illness with part of who I am, I will do my best to not verbalise or think. I will say to people if it comes up “I’m having treatment.” If they ask what for I would say “Lyme Disease.” But that doesn’t attach it to my identity in the same was as saying “I have/I’m being treated for...” I don’t follow any Lyme groups on facebook. My dad was sending me emails about updates on Lyme research in America and I asked him to not do that anymore. I honestly don’t want to associate with it at this time because it serves no purpose to my recovery. I would much rather have the thoughts of feeling well and living a normal life than having a constant reminder of my past or something I am trying to heal from.

Our brain is a huge contributor to whether we stay stick or get well. Dr Jernigan wrote an article about it. Our brain creates certain pathways of wiring that can either promote illness or heal it (that’s my understanding) and I do not want to feed those pathways or thought processes that hold onto any illness or poor function. That’s why I’ve become so mindful of my thinking and the words I speak.

I have also removed toxic people from my life or I stay away from those I feel have a bad energy or do not serve a positive purpose in my life. I had friends who did not support my decision for treatment, who would ignore this huge part of my life and make it like the “elephant” in the room. When I’d bring this to their attention they would be dismissive or admit they don’t agree with my decision and the solution was to just not talk about. They’re not good friends. So I removed them from my life. Having these conversations wasn’t easy and I knew this conversation could break a friendship and end it. But I took that risk because I couldn’t live with the feeling their judgement or lack of support was giving me. It’s certainly hurtful when you care about these people, but letting go of things that no longer serve you is a part of life.

Knowing your worth and removing or distancing yourself from people who do not contribute to your wellness is important to recovery. At times I even removed my partners (adult) children from my life, because their behaviour was detrimental to my recovery and I didn’t deserve to be made sicker by anybody, regardless of who they are. I even broke up with my partner twice at the beginning of our relationship because his actions made me sicker and he couldn’t understand that. As much as I love him, I will always love me more and put my health first.

We can’t change people, so we have to set boundaries that put ourselves first. My health is the number 1 priority in my life, because without it, I have nothing. Anything or anybody that increases my suffering is not OK because I don’t deserve to suffer more than I already do (that’s the way I look at it).

RETURNING TO WORK That’s right, I’m working now. It was a very scary thing to do and took a lot of courage. Even just writing up a resume and applying for jobs was scary. The last time I returned to work, I relapsed 9 months later and was the sickest I’d ever been. There’s always the fear of “what if I relapse/What if I can’t cope?” I had no idea how much I could cope with. Then there’s the fear of an employer not wanting to hire me if I can’t work less than 20 hours a week.

I actually ended up with 2 jobs. One in hospitality at a function venue and one working from home as a content writer. In my hospitality job I found it hard at the start, carrying very large serving trays, on my feet for 8-10 hours a shift. My organs would ache and my muscles would be very sore the next day from using muscles I haven’t used in a very long time. My arms would be shaking with fatigue hours into carrying large serving platters and drink trays. But I proved to myself I could do it. In 1 week I worked 3 days straight, 22 hours total. My body recovered and I was ok after a day of rest afterwards. I’m still working on building up my strength when it comes to carrying large items for long extended periods. My muscles would have atrophied over the years I was bedridden and I’ve lost a lot of strength. But I’m proud of myself for pushing through my fears, trusting in my body and its abilities and not listening to the “what if’s”.

The content writing job started off hard as well. A few hours of writing and I would be incredibly fatigued. But the more I’ve done, the easier it has become. I see my brain as a muscle and mental fatigue is simply because my brain is not used to thinking in the way it needs to, to do that job. The more I do it, the less I feel fatigued and drained.

As I still have to do treatment and this makes me feel unwell. I feel I am now capable of working 15-20 hours in hospitality and 10 hours as a content writer per week. This is pretty huge, as a year ago I would have said I could work 5 hours one week and then not at all for 3 weeks and then maybe 5 hours again the week after that. Because my health was so inconsistent I thought: who would want to hire someone for one small shift a week, who would then need a week or 2 off inbetween in bad periods?

The bad experience I have had is that I got fired from my hospitality job. I was being bullied by one of the co-workers and when I brought this to the managers attention, she fired me (in a nutshell). This has triggered my depression and anxiety and significantly impacted my confidence. I’ve had to pick myself up and fight through all my negative feelings to look for a new job. The second I saw I was removed from the roster and had the intuitive feeling that I’d been fired, I went straight back to looking for work and applying for jobs. I’ve had 3 job trials and been offered a position in a venue similar to the one I was at. I’m still lacking confidence and feel anxious to work, which I never felt before this bullying and mismanagement experience. At my last job trial I dreaded going because I felt so shit about myself, I would rather stay at home and avoid any future rejection or bad treatment. We’ve got to push through these things though. I’m proud of myself for jumping straight into looking for more work and not letting my feelings dictate my actions.

FUTURE PLANS Now that I don’t need to return to Hansa if my health continues to progress, what shall I do? I’m very excited for my future. I certainly fear relapse but I think that if I keep doing right by my body, it should all work out. I will keep taking all my Hansa remedies for the foreseeable future. I believe diet will be a huge contributing factor to my recovery. I have started getting into fasting and incorporating a more plant-based diet. I follow Tyler Tolman and his philosophies on healing the body through diet and fasting. I watched many documentaries on the food industry and the Western Diet which opened my eyes on how to eat better to nourish my body. I hardly ever consume red meat, I limit my dairy and gluten intake, I cook vegan 3-4x per week, vegetarian 1-2x per week and other nights I eat chicken, pork or fish with a large array of vegetables. That’s just what I believe, I’m not saying it’s right for everyone and I’m doing the best I can with the knowledge I currently have. We can always continue to learn and better ourselves, which I will certainly do.

I have found local practitioners I can utilize to further my healing. A kinesiologist/naturopath that comes highly recommended from a friend who had Lyme and she helped bring him into remission, a neuro trainer who can (potentially) help reprogram the wiring in my brain, my EMDR practitioner and I’d like to try acupuncture and yoga. I want to get out in nature more, do more work on myself spiritually and like I said earlier, find some way to work on releasing my anger.

I’m naturally an impatient person and these things cost money and require time and energy, so it’s not something I can just jump right into. I’ve started planning how to get these aspects of healing integrated into my recovery and that’s a good first step. I’m doing the best I can with my current treatment and trying to be kind to myself when I have a bad day, don’t eat the right thing or worry I’m not doing enough. I’ve come a very long way and I’m proud of how hard I’ve worked to get to this point. Many people in my life have only known me as a “sick” person. My family and less than a handful of friends knew me before I became ill, so I’m happy that people in my life will finally see the real me.

I’m also ecstatic to prove all those who didn’t support or agree with my decision, WRONG. They can suck it and I get the last laugh :)

#hansa #hansa center #lyme treatment #treatment #lyme #Lyme Disease #chronic lyme #chronic illness #chronic fatigue syndrome

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ellaintrigue · 4 years ago

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Here is a word I don't use often: "evil." Frankly, because it's kind of an old, mythical sounding word, at least in my opinion. Now, I haven't seen much of my dad's side of the family in years but a couple of years ago two of my first cousins added me on FaceBook. There were spats over politics that I have since realized were petty, with me as the instigator. The rest of the family I stopped seeing when I was a teenager and started working. I just didn't seem to have anything in common with them. My aunts are nice people but I've always preferred my mom's side of the family, and my dad's mother was abusive towards him although he'll never admit it. He says that her splitting his mouth open numerous times when he was a small boy kept him in line. I cannot imagine punching an 8-year-old in the face...

All of my cousins (there's like 5 total) seem like family people with good morals and I was talking to one on a regular basis but I've officially reached the end of the road with her. My parents told me to block her but I'm a big girl and come to my own conclusions. She can stay on FaceBook, and we can send each other Christmas cards if we want because I'm actually pretty relaxed when it comes to it. But I cannot forgive.

In the first screenshot, a few months ago, she hits me up complaining about something my mom posted on FaceBook. Then she proceeds to imply mom could have prevented her current cancer diagnosis.

That was hard for me to swallow. Her saying that, not about testing. Everyone knows that if hey, cool, you get checked for cancer soon enough then you'll probably be okay. But that just isn't how life works or no one would die of cancer. When Cousin Charles and his wife died months apart from each other of lung cancer all I thought was how sad it was, not "OMG WHY DID THEY SMOKE OMG THEY SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN CHECKED SOONER." That line of thinking doesn't do any good.

My cousin's words hurt me, and I didn't want to repeat them to my mom because they would hurt her, but almost a month later, I did, because I felt mom had a right to know. My cousin argued with mom on FaceBook over politics, which I saw as harmless. Politics bring out the worst in people but if they want to go back and forth, then whatever. But then my cousin said this crap to me, then she started bashing my mom hard on FB in their discussions before I told mom what she said. So mom took her off of FaceBook since my cousin was mocking her and calling her stupid. (This cousin is in her mid-40's by the way.)

My cousin then proceeds to message mom asking her why she was unfriended and mom called her out on what she said to me. At this point my cousin tells my mom she thought my mom was so smart she knew to get tested for cancer. Mom cut her off totally and I was further enraged.

Now a couple of months later I hadn't forgotten those two attacks on my mom but didn't raise a stink. This cousin has been very kind to me personally. But then I told her and my mom that I was worried about my best friend because she seemed overwhelmed by life circumstances. Mom said it sounded like my BF needed some help around the house and with her kids, my cousin said "it's not your problem."

That rang in my ears... if you care about someone they're not a "problem" or not "your problem," you reach out to them just like how they're reached out to you to help you in the past.

I ended up pretty sickly and it turned out to be a pelvic infection. Which is my exact wording when I posted on FB after coming back from getting urgent medical treatment. I have 31 friends on FB but also don't mind opening up. Except when you message me saying "IS IT GONORRHEA?!" which is exactly what my cousin did. I just typed "uhhhhhh" and she says "the fucking asshole that didn't tell you!" Now, I'm a pretty non-judgey person and I've posted before that people can get STDs from long term partners, or even while being responsible, etc. But I've had gynecological problems for years and I was sitting there sick and tired wondering WHY the fuck my cousin would just instantly conclude that I have gonorrhea. And why/how the fuck would I have gonorrhea? (And for people as daft as my cousin: I don't have it. LOL.)

This interaction comes after she tried to hook me up with a drug addict for two months (she kept messaging me about him) and I got in it with her over that (I wrote about that on my last blog). She even admitted she didn't know he had a criminal record after the fact. She just thought the glowering, grey-skinned, toothless middle-aged grocery store stocker would be a good match for me. But, hey, maybe I shouldn't be so sensitive and defensive. I took a deep breath and told myself, "Ella, you need to calm down, she's probably not even making assumptions about your lifestyle. She's probably just gotten gonorrhea a lot from making love to methheads and was just trying to relate to you. Stop being so harsh on her."

So, I let that go even though I was starting to foam at the mouth at that point. Must. Not. Be. Petty. But, I have to think, if I shouldn't worry about my best friend since age 5 because she's "not my problem" then how is my health my cousin's problem? And if I got with a drug addict she suggested, then wouldn't he be my problem?

On Sunday my cousin messages me, attacking my mom again, which is the 2nd screenshot pictured. Again, totally random, I had just mentioned in my last blog that people thought I was fat. And I am, I write about anything. BUT HERE WE GO. HERE WE FUCKING GO AGAIN, JUST FUCKING BASHING MY MOM. At that point, as you can see, I straight out called her out and I'm just fucking done. Not blocking her but I don't want to talk. She can just exist and I wish her the best but here is where I use the word "evil." And she can read this too, but it won't hurt her like it hurt me when she bashed my mom for having cancer. Just leave me alone. I don't want to hear that messenger ding unless it's someone with nice things to say or a cute guy that wants to buy me ice cream.

You can call someone ugly, attack their politics, say their dog stinks, or tell them to jump off a cliff. And you shouldn't do any of those things but I think one of the lowest blows you can do is attack someone with cancer and judge them for how they handle it. To say they should have gotten tested sooner and to completely disregard their feelings and what they're going through is unforgivable and inexcusable. And she did it twice, with me, and with my mom.

This is proof that you can't pick your family, that you shouldn't open up to everyone, and a prime example of a toxic human. An evil human.

Now, I'm done ranting and have things to do. Those things are not smoking meth, crack, or shooting heroin and I'm not going to go contract gonorrhea, I am going to work this morning. Yep, I'm that boring. Peaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace the fuckkkkkk out.

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thisdaynews · 5 years ago

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Premier League predictions: Lawro vs tennis star Andy Murray

New Post has been published on https://thebiafrastar.com/premier-league-predictions-lawro-vs-tennis-star-andy-murray/

Premier League predictions: Lawro vs tennis star Andy Murray

Liverpool took the local glory in Wednesday’s Merseyside derby but who will be celebrating when the red and blue halves of Manchester meet on Saturday?

“Manchester City are still a very good team – that has not changed just because they have had the odd bad result this season,” said BBC football expert Mark Lawrenson.

“They would love to beat United, and they are the better side – so that is what I think will happen.”

Lawro is making predictions for all 380 top-flight matches this season, against a variety of guests.

This week he is up againstformer tennis world number one Andy Murray.

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Murray predicts big win for Man City in derby

Murray’s grandad played for Hibs so he grew up as a fan of the Easter Road club.

“The whole family supports them so I used to go to a lot of games,” he told BBC Sport.

“It has always been difficult to watch them when I am travelling because the Scottish league is not on around the world, whereas with the Premier League you can see it anywhere.

“So I follow Arsenal now too a little bit but, yes, I am definitely into my football. I used to play a lot when I was younger, but I had to choose between football and tennis when I was 14 or 15.

“It is difficult to keep doing both and commit enough time to both of them, but there is a lot of stuff about football that I miss.

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Wimbledon and World Cup 2014: Murray’s amazing keepy-uppy skills

“I like the team element and playing alongside your friends, but at that age it was a lot easier for me – because they had a ranking system in tennis from the age of 12, I knew really what level I was at in terms of European standards.

“Whereas with football, I was all right in my team, but I was probably rubbish in the grand scheme of things so I am glad I made the choice to go for tennis.”

Murray could still have a future in football, however, if he follows up his past addiction to Football Manager by moving into the dug-out in real life.

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Andy Murray tells BBC Radio 5 Live about his injury, rehabilitation and return to tennis

He explained: “I played a lot of Football Manager growing up – it killed a lot of time on the road – but it also became a bit of an issue when I was staying up late to play it.

“I had to cut back a few years ago. When I was in Spain, myself and a friend would have two teams each – we were staying up until 3am, and we would start training at 8am, so I had to stop playing it.

“As far as football coaching goes, I have been asked if there were any other jobs I would be interested in doing, and I would like to do something in sport.

“Football is something that has always interested me and, it would be a fun thing to try.

“A lot of people think they could do a good job, and that they know what teams should be doing, but there is a lot more to it than that.”

‘Resurfacing’, the story of Murray’s return from major hip surgery at the start of 2019 to win an ATP title less than a year later, is available now to watch on Amazon Prime.

Premier League predictions – week 16 Result Lawro Andy SATURDAY Everton v Chelsea x-x 1-1 1-2 Bournemouth v Liverpool x-x 0-2 1-2 Tottenham v Burnley x-x 2-0 2-0 Watford v Crystal Palace x-x 1-1 1-1 Man City v Man Utd x-x 2-0 3-1 SUNDAY Aston Villa v Leicester x-x 1-1 1-2 Newcastle v Southampton x-x 2-1 1-1 Norwich v Sheff Utd x-x 1-1 1-2 Brighton v Wolves x-x 2-1 0-1 MONDAY West Ham v Arsenal x-x 2-0 1-1

A correct result (picking a win, draw or defeat) is worth10points. The exact score earns40points.

LAWRO’S PREDICTIONS

All kick-offs 15:00 GMT unless stated.

SATURDAY

Everton v Chelsea (12:30 GMT)

Things just went from bad to worse for Marco Silva so it was no surprise to see him sacked by Everton on Thursday. Whatever he tried, it was just not working.

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Silva says pressure has led to his players making mistakes

Duncan Ferguson has been named as the Toffees’ temporary manager for this game and I think we will see a reaction from their players, just because there will be someone different in charge, even if it is not Silva’s permanent successor.

Chelsea are going well and picked up another three points against Aston Villa but, now they have made the change, I just fancy Everton to get something from this one.

Lawro’s prediction:1-1

Andy’s prediction:1-2

Bournemouth v Liverpool

In contrast to Everton, whatever Liverpool do at the moment just keeps on working out for them.

I was at Anfield for the Merseyside derby and my thoughts when I saw Jurgen Klopp’s much-changed side to face Everton can be summed up in one word – ‘gamble’.

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Jurgen Klopp pleased with ‘sensational’ Liverpool goals

It paid off though. I understand the players he brought in had been working extremely hard in training and Klopp just thought ‘fresh legs, give them a go’ and it could not have worked out any better for him.

Bournemouth, meanwhile, are struggling. They have lost four league games in a row, with their latest defeat coming against Crystal Palace’s 10 men on Tuesday – I don’t see them having any joy here, either.

Lawro’s prediction:0-2

Andy’s prediction:Liverpool have won a few tight ones lately. 1-2

Tottenham v Burnley

Burnley are another team to have hit the buffers a bit, suffering back-to-back home defeats against Crystal Palace and Manchester City.

Tottenham did not really get going at Old Trafford in midweek but I am expecting them to be far better this time. If so, they should win pretty comfortably.

Lawro’s prediction:2-0

Andy’s prediction:2-0

Watford v Crystal Palace

It looks like Watford’s interim manager Hayden Mullins will still be in charge for this game as the Hornets search for their third manager of the season.

This is a tough game for Mullins, because Crystal Palace are going great at the moment.

But Watford are at home, and the fact they are going to appoint someone soon might bring something extra out of their players. They might be wondering who is watching.

Lawro’s prediction:1-1

Andy’s prediction:1-1

Man City v Man Utd (17:30 GMT)

I know United played very well in their win over Tottenham on Wednesday, and that they have had some good results against the bigger clubs this season.

But from their wins over Chelsea and Spurs to their draw with Liverpool, those results have all come at Old Trafford, and they have still only won once away in the league – at Norwich.

City were impressive as they beat Burnley at Turf Moor on Tuesday night and for Gabriel Jesus to score twice was more good news for them.

Lawro’s prediction:2-0

Andy’s prediction:If Paul Pogba were to be back that would help United a little bit, but I am going with City. 3-1

SUNDAY

Aston Villa v Leicester (14:00 GMT)

Leicester are on a fabulous run – they have won their past seven league games since losing at Anfield on 5 October.

But their results mean people are realising what a good side they are and they are reacting to the threat they pose by making plans for them.

I think teams will realise they cannot be open against the Foxes because they will undo you on the break.

If Villa do keep things tight, I think they will pick up a point.

Lawro’s prediction:1-1

Andy’s prediction:1-2

Newcastle v Southampton (14:00 GMT)

Saints are on a good little run with seven points from their past three games but I’ve been impressed by Newcastle recently too and they are starting to allay any fears of relegation.

Their home form was not great at first under Steve Bruce, but they have only lost once under him at St James’ Park and their results there will have helped him win the fans over.

The Magpies got a very good win against Sheffield United on Thursday night and I am backing them again on Sunday.

Lawro’s prediction:2-1

Andy’s prediction:1-1

Norwich v Sheff Utd (14:00 GMT)

Sheffield United slipped up at home to Newcastle in midweek but they are still unbeaten away in the league, although they have drawn six of their seven games on the road.

I am going to go for another draw for them here, although I am not really convinced by Norwich.

The Canaries looked like they were turning a corner until they went to Southampton and lost on Wednesday, and they really need to start building some form at home soon.

Lawro’s prediction:1-1

Andy’s prediction:Sheffield United have been on fire. 1-2

Brighton v Wolves (16:30 GMT)

Wolves have not lost in the Premier League since 14 September, and are clearly a very well-drilled side with a clever coach in Nuno Espirito Santo.

They have scored some important late goals in that time too, which is a useful habit to have, but I just have a feeling that their run will end here.

Brighton will cause them some problems – the Seagulls will have to work hard to hold out though.

Lawro’s prediction:2-1

Andy’s prediction:0-1

MONDAY

West Ham v Arsenal (20:00 GMT)

Both of these teams have got problems, but Arsenal’s away form is probably the biggest issue here.

The Gunners’ defending is not getting any better either and, if West Ham turn up for this one, I think they will win.

Until Arsenal appoint a manager, it is difficult to know what direction they are going in – but it appears to be downwards at the moment.

Their chances of securing Champions League football for next season by making the top four are starting to look remote.

Lawro’s prediction:2-0

Andy’s prediction:They are both struggling at the moment. Let’s go for a draw. 1-1

Lawro was speaking to BBC Sport’s Chris Bevan.

How did Lawro do last week?

From the midweek fixtures, Lawro got five correct results, including two exact scores for a total of110 points.

He beat University Challenge star Bobby Seagull, who got six correct results, but with one exact score, for a total of90 points.

+/- DENOTE POSITION DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LAWRO’S TABLE AND ACTUAL POSITION TEAM P W D L PTS +/- 1 Man City 15 14 0 1 42 +2 2 Liverpool 15 13 2 0 41 -1 3 Chelsea 15 11 2 2 35 +1 4 Tottenham 15 10 4 1 34 +4 5 Arsenal 15 9 4 2 31 +5 6 Leicester 15 8 3 4 27 -4 7 Man Utd 15 7 5 3 26 -1 8 Burnley 15 6 3 6 21 +4 9 Wolves 15 6 1 8 19 -4 =10 Aston Villa 15 5 3 7 18 +6 =10 Everton 15 5 3 7 18 +8 =12 Bournemouth 15 5 2 8 17 +2 =12 Watford 15 5 2 8 17 +8 =12 West Ham 15 5 2 8 17 +3 15 Newcastle 15 4 1 10 13 -4 16 Southampton 15 3 3 9 12 +1 17 Brighton 15 3 2 10 11 -4 =18 Crystal Palace 15 2 4 9 10 -11 =18 Sheff Utd 15 3 1 11 10 -9 20 Norwich 15 0 5 10 5 -1

GUEST LEADERBOARD 2019-20

Score Guest leaderboard 160 Gabriel Luna 140 Arnold Schwarzenegger 100 Adam Peaty 90 Helen Housby, Jo Harten, Bobby Seagull, Geraint Thomas 87 Lawro (average after 15 weeks) 80 Stephen Graham 70 Michael Johnson, Craig Mitch, Alex Scott 60 Sonny Bill Williams, Stefan Ratchford 50 Chelcee Grimes, Reece Parkinson, Sam Warburton 40 Stephen Fry, Neil Jones, Tommy O’Dell 30 Seth Rollins

Total scores after week 15 Lawro 1,310 Guests 1,100

#Murray #Tennis

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cloverbasket4-blog · 5 years ago

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Mickey Johnson: benched on his high school team to NBA journeyman

MJ is back with the Bulls.

Sometimes he thinks about his high flying days, the dunk contests, the triple doubles, the time he embarrassed Dr. J, the full court flights of fancy and fancy flights, taking that rebound and gliding full court, a sprinter's body with a player's intentions.

MJ leaned back, the warmth of the bright Los Angeles sun enhancing the reverie. He was traveling with the Bulls last week on the Western Conference road trip, offering a little advice as an inspirational figure and taking some time to visit some of his famous Hollywood friends from back in the old days.

"Doing some ambassador work for the Bulls," Mickey Johnson was saying. "They've allowed me to talk to some of players, offer some advice. I'm very appreciative of being able to be in this position."

No, he isn't that MJ; in fact, he was known as Rubber Band Man in a 12-year NBA career that was perhaps the most unlikely in a world of unlikely stories. "Actually my nickname in high school was BC, which meant Bony Child," Johnson said with a laugh. "I was 180 pounds my first year in the pros, 6-10 and 180."

And 40 years before his time.

Magic come into the league and I was able to guard him; I was fast enough. Magic couldn't guard me on the post up.

Mickey Johnson

Wallace "Mickey" Johnson was probably the first point forward in NBA history, though no one knew it then or quite knew what to do with him. And not only because he couldn't make his Lindblom High School team and paid his way through west suburban Aurora College trying to achieve his goal of getting into a Sears training program. But could he run, a world class sprinter in high school with a guard's ability to handle the ball and a big man's size to finish. Mickey was unique, a round peg in a very square era of NBA basketball.

You know, 6-10, you get by the basket. Little guy, you dribble.

"The game I played was what they are doing now, Scottie Pippen, KD," Johnson said. "I was just as good as the guards bringing the ball up. I was fast and could run all day, not like a typical big man at the time. That's 1975, 1976. The problem was the coaches didn't know what to do with me. I remember Norm (Van Lier) told me if I don't pass him the ball he wasn't passing it back to me. I told Norm, 'I get the ball first with the rebound. I really don't need you to bring it up and pass to me.'

"It was totally different for a big man back then," added Johnson. "Players now are slimmer and can handle the ball, things I was doing in the 70s with big man moves inside. Magic come into the league and I was able to guard him; I was fast enough. Magic couldn't guard me on the post up. But the coaches didn't understand."

Still, Johnson averaged more than 15 points for five consecutive seasons, culminating with a career high 19.1 in 1979-80 with Indiana. That was even after being benched when the team traded for an aging but popular George McGinnis. Johnson was among the league leaders in scoring at the time of his demotion and still ended the season as the team's scoring leader.

Though he never could quite escape the stigma of being from the University of Nowhere, the NBA still something of a caste system. C'mon seriously, Aurora College?

"My biggest problem probably was first time something went wrong it always was, 'Mickey didn't have the experience because he went to a small college,'" Johnson recalled. "When we lost to (eventual champion) Portland in '77, I had a bad game first game (eight for 25 for 19 points and 10 rebounds). Maurice Lucas took advantage of me, but I still led the team in scoring for the series (27.3 per game along with 13 rebounds). I was always an outsider. But I never played for the money, but that love and respect for the game. Nobody can ever say Mickey held out for this or that, cried about salary. I just played. Seeing the world from the bottom up and not top down. A lot can happen in your career, but you try not to take it personal. Do what the coach wants, be there for your teammates. From humble beginnings you can reach greatness, but that greatness can also bring you back down if you let it. It's one of the reasons the Bulls asked me here."

1978: Mickey Johnson poses for a portrait.

Johnson accompanied the Bulls on their road trip at the invitation of coach Jim Boylen, who is encouraging players to understand and appreciate their ancestors. Mickey took the opportunity to spend some time with his old buddy from the Temptations, Louis Price.

He's one of those veterans who perhaps may help the Bulls get ready to find their cloud nine. Cliff Levingston, Horace Grant, Scottie Pippen, Toni Kukoc and Bob Love are some of the former Bulls bring in various ambassador and supporting roles for the team.

Boylen receives some kidding about his fondness for talking about pride in the organization, Bulls on their chest. But players like Mickey Johnson can help deliver an appreciation for the game and perhaps some perspective on where they've been and where they are going.

Especially considering Johnson's excellence in the NBA over a decade despite the most unlikely roots and a vision to give back beyond basketball.

Mickey once ran for alderman in his home 24th ward North Lawndale neighborhood. He was a coach at Malcolm X College and has run a successful business, Concerned Pest Control, and worked for the county sheriff's department for almost 20 years. He's been a citizen advocate, a businessman and motivational speaker.

He also was believed to be the only player ever to block Dr. J's dunk and one of the few to have intercepted Kareem's sky hook

"Bill Willoughby and myself are the only two to have caught the sky hook out of the air," Johnson insists. "Did that twice and Willoughby once.

"I had some hops," Mickey says with a bit of a smirk.

"You didn't dunk much back then unless you had a clear path," he said. "They'd knock you down. If you dunked you had to get out of there real quick."

Johnson was quick. He also was one of the dunkers when CBS in 1977 after that first NBA dunk contest following the merger with the ABA had a season long dunk contest at halftime of its game of the week. It was won by Darnell Hillman over Kareem, though Johnson had an array of 360s, reverse and off the backboard dunks winning in earlier rounds.

"My biggest asset, though, was my ball handling ability and speed," he says. "I was faster than most guards. I used to run the 100 as a college sprinter in maybe 10 seconds, a little less. Used to lose in the finals."

It's a heck of a sprint from a simple life on the tough West Side for a kid from a large middle class family, his dad a postal worker, who couldn't make his high school team.

"Made it my sophomore year only, but didn't play," Johnson recalls. "Coach basically wanted me to be the water boy. Played one game my sophomore year. I kept trying out and didn't make it. Played YMCA basketball, summer ball. I guess the coach just felt I wasn't talented enough. I was disappointed, but I wasn't mad. No hard feelings. He did his job. I did the best I could."

It's an equanimity that masks an athlete's heart.

They weren't scouting Aurora College then, but my stats lured some professionals...I still didn't think I'd make it. I just wanted to make the best of an opportunity if it came.

Mickey Johnson

Mickey played around the neighborhood like just about everyone else, even on a team for the high school coach who always cut him.

A neighborhood man organized a team and they'd venture out to play small college teams, like Judson, George Williams, Rockford, Aurora. Mickey could score and run down a deer, and he was now close to 6-8. Aurora coach Roald Berg said he'd help him get his degree.

"You wanted to get a college education, a job, a family and all that, typical American life," Johnson said.

"The other coaches just looked at me as a ballplayer. Coach said if I come there he would help me in trying to get a degree," Mickey said. "That's why I went there. No scholarship, NAIA Division 3. Class enrollment of maybe 600 students on and off campus. I stayed on campus to work, construction and janitorial work; my mother gave me about $300 to help. I majored in business administration and economics and got my degree. My goal was to get a job at Sears to be a buyer. I put in my application after graduation."

"What happened was (Bulls) Coach (Dick) Motta had his basketball camp there and I worked for him in the summer," said Johnson. "They weren't scouting Aurora College then, but my stats lured some professionals. I averaged 26 and 20 for four years. I wasn't getting any big publicity from the major newspapers. A couple of scouts came through going to see Billy Harris (Chicago playground legend from Dunbar High School at Northern Illinois). So they stopped to see me. One had dropped a note on the floor. My coach found. It said I couldn't make the pros.

"I didn't really feel I could make it until my senior year," Johnson agreed. "There was a little more publicity and I began to feel I'd have an opportunity. I still didn't think I'd make it. I just wanted to make the best of an opportunity if it came."

Mickey Johnson looks to move against Larry Bird.

It's something of a lesson plan Boylen also delivers these days. Take advantage of your chance. Look at Mickey.

Johnson was a surprise fourth round selection of the Portland Trailblazers in the 1974 draft, though they would cut all their draft picks other than Bill Walton. Motta remembered the kid who helped him out, so he offered a conditional third round pick for Johnson, meaning he'd have to make the team. It was more charity since Motta didn't want to keep Johnson; didn't believe he was an NBA player. Expected to keep the pick.

"He said I was a nice young man and he wanted me to have the experience of being in a pro camp," Johnson said. "He said he only had me there for a taste for the money. I made about $500 a week. It was great money. He rescued me. But I never took the Sears thing off the table. I still wanted to be a buyer, and I was working in the post office to make some money."

Johnson was last man among rookies that included highly regarded Cliff Pondexter, Leon Benbow and Bobby Wilson. Motta wanted Johnson out, but he wanted Mickey to make that decision.

"He had me run suicides, three under 30 seconds," Mickey recalled. "Then he made me run three against each individual rookie; that's nine and the three for 12. Then he made me run three more by myself in under 30 seconds. But I still did it. I wouldn't give him the excuse to cut me. I passed out. It was raining that day. Motta to this day doesn't know I passed out. I'm laying on the ground outside passed out in a puddle. He wanted me to quit, but I wasn't going to give him a reason. It's what you learn, things I can pass on."

Then good fortune came his way. Bob Love held out, Pondexter was hurt and another draft pick, Maurice Lucas, went to the ABA. Then early in the season, Motta as he was wont to do went berserk when Bill Hewitt missed a layup and the Bulls lost to the Bucks. Johnson got his job.

Mickey rarely played as a rookie as the Bulls lost in the conference finals to the Warriors. But Chet Walker retired after the season, Love held out again, Pondexter was hurt again, and Johnson hung on again. Johnson got a start and never gave up the job with the Bulls.

Mickey Johnson drives on Robert Parish

He averaged at least 15 points the next four seasons with the Bulls with that unique style of play, the speed and elusiveness that is custom now and was a mystery then. He would average 14.1 points and 7.2 rebounds over those 12 seasons. Not bad for basically never having made a high school team.

Johnson went to Indiana in 1979 as one of the first free agents from the Oscar Robertson agreement that included the ABA merger. He had his best season until Indiana went sentimental. Then he bounced around, though still a unique player who played all five positions at times, Draymond Green with a shot. He posted triple doubles, played point forward for Don Nelson in Milwaukee, ran for Johnny Bach in Golden State. He finished up with the Nets in 1986 as MJ was making his mark with the Bulls.

Johnson, 66, was working around Chicago when Tina Berto with the Bulls asked if he's help with a speaking engagement. "They wanted someone else," Johnson says. "They didn't know who I was. But I told them some of the things they didn't hear from NBA players. They liked it."

So have the Bulls and Jim Boylen. Mickey Johnson showed himself and the basketball world and it's a model for these Bulls. If you never give up, you never know how far it will take you. MJ's back where he belongs.

Source: https://www.nba.com/bulls/features/mickey-johnson-benched-his-high-school-team-nba-journeyman

#read more #see more #check it out #interesting #learn more

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wemythings · 5 years ago

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Big Move in Tensile Town: The Los Angeles Lakers trade synopsis

The Los Angeles Lakers have made a big splash in NBA free-agency by trading for a once in a generational talent in Anthony Davis. In a move that will be finalized on July 5th the Los Angeles Lakers have decided to trade Lonzo Ball, Brandon Ingram, Josh Hart and the 4th pick in the 2019 NBA draft to the New Orleans Pelicans for superstar Anthony Davis.

In the eyes of many this move has been long overdue as Davis declined the Pelican’s max offer of 5 years, 240 Million dollars back in January. There were a number of rumors that Davis wasn’t happy with the pelicans organization. Speculation from a number of sources was that Anthony Davis didn’t believe he could win in New Orleans and that he wanted to play in a bigger market.

Based on the production of the Pelican’s forward it was hard for anybody to see that kind of discontent. At the time Davis, 25 was in his 6th season in the NBA was having a career year. Before the trade request Davis was averaging a career high in points (29.3ppg) and rebounds (13.2rpg).

Losing in the Big Easy

By the numbers it is easy to see why Anthony Davis couldn’t win in New Orleans. Since 2012 the year Anthony Davis was taken with the #1 pick the Pelicans have managed to make the playoffs twice. In the two playoff appearances that the Pelicans have had, they have only been able to get to the second round once in 2018. Over the last six years the New Orleans Pelicans have amassed a record of 217-275(44% win percentage).

It is also worth mentioning that the Pelicans were coming off of a 2017-2018 season in which the team managed to win 48 games and get to the second round of the playoffs. in Davis’ final season in New Orleans the Pelicans went 33-49 good for 13th in the western conference.

Why Lonzo Ball and Brandon Ingram are gone

It is easy to surmise that this trade was made simply because the Lakers needed another superstar to pair with Lebron James. And that is only partly true. There are many other reasons as well that the Lakers as a franchise wont talk about but the fans will. The main reasons the organization had no problem throwing Lonzo Ball and Brandon Ingram into the trade mix was a combination of production and health.

Production and Health

Lonzo Ball

Since being drafted in 2017 Lonzo Ball has missed 65 NBA games due to injury. Of the 164 NBA games played over the last two years Lonzo has only played 99. Ball was always hurt. One of the greatest gifts that a player can give an organization is availability. Lonzo was always sidelined with some kind of ankle or knee related injury. Frankly he was out for months at a time and seemed frail from a physical standpoint due to the constant nagging injuries.

After being drafted with the #2 selection in a very productive 2017 draft class that included the likes of D’Aaron Fox, Dennis Smith Jr, Kyle Kuzma, Josh Jackson and Jayson Tatum, Lonzo statistically fell short of his father’s lofty expectations.

Most guards want to join the 50, 40, 90 club (50% from the field, 40% from the three point line and 90% from the free-throw line). Lonzo was a part of the 30,30, 40 club (30+% from the field 30+% from 3 and 40+% from the free-throw line).

Lonzo’s abysmal shooting displays which included a number of air-balls regularly left many fans wondering if he was really worth the #2 pick. The biggest issue with all this is that, when Lonzo is playing at his best he looks like an all-star but the good games are too far in between.

For every really solid game that Lonzo would have, he would follow that up with 5 sub-par games during the regular season. As a basketball player Lonzo Ball can be described as a “Giant Tease”. Lonzo will have games that make a person think wow this player is really good and than he’ll follow that up with games that leave fans scratching their heads. And it isn’t that Lonzo was a terrible basketball player because he is far from that. But, he would go through long periods of an NBA game without being aggressive to score or make plays.

The Lakers gave Lonzo Ball the keys to the franchise for two years. Magic Johnson verbally vouched for him and Luke Walton gave him starters minutes for two years including a year in which veteran guard Rajon Rondo was on the roster.

Lonzo was given everything necessary to succeed but couldn’t get his offensive game right. Lonzo is a terrific defender, rebounder and distributor of the basketball, but struggled to score the basketball even when given open shots. And in this type of NBA where guards are expected to score the ball, Lonzo became a liability on the offensive end.

Some people might blame big ball Lavar Ball for being outspoken and coming off as crazy for making so many insane proclamations. Those outlandish rants were thought to put undue stress or a target on Lonzo Ball’s back who was already coming into a highly competitive environment in the NBA. But Lavar Ball wasn’t the reason Lonzo was traded. Lonzo’s lack of aggression, production and constant injuries put him in position to be moved.

Brandon Ingram

After playing 79 games his rookie year Ingram missed a total of 129 of the 246 games played over the course of 3 years. Like Ball, Ingram was out a lot due to injury. It also should be noted that there was a scare that Brandon Ingram would suffer a similar fate to former Miami Heat power forward Chris Bosh as well. It was discovered that he had a blood clot in his arm.

It’s very hard to criticize a player like Brandon Ingram who worked extremely hard and the fruits of his labor began to show near the end of the regular season. In the second half of the 2018-2019 NBA season Brandon Ingram was averaging 28.5 points per game. The only reason a player like this was included in the trade was to offer the Pelicans a viable asset in order to increase the Lakers chances of landing Anthony Davis.

On the bright side

The positive aspects of this trade is that the Lakers get another Hall of Fame level talent in Anthony Davis. At 6′11 Davis can score everywhere on the floor due to just being fundamentally sound, very skilled and just freakishly athletic. Former NBA legend Stephan Jackson described Anthony Davis to a T calling him “Tim Duncan with hops”. Davis can shoot the ball really well for a player his size and has developed a three point shot. Davis has the size and the ability to bang in the post. Due to spending most of his high school years playing the point guard position before hitting a massive growth spurt his senior year, Anthony is an adept ball handler.

Even if it’s for a one year “rental” the Lakers have a top 5 player in the NBA to pair with Lebron James. And with this trade the Lakers can only go up from here. The chances of the Lakers making the playoffs increases tenfold with Davis in the lineup. Depending on the health and the lineup the Lakers are expected to win at least 50 games this season.

Trade issues

The Lakers made this trade hoping to somehow receive the same benefit the Toronto Raptors got from the “Kawhi Leonard effect”. This trade was made with the Idea that Anthony Davis could make the Lakers a team that could make and compete in the playoffs. The problem is this isn’t the eastern conference. The western conference is stacked with each team having at least two to sometimes four double figure scorers on a team. So the idea that the Lakers are all of a sudden a championship team because they got one superstar to pair with an aging one could be “fools gold”.

Leveraging the Lakers young core talent for a player that might not stay on the team is a very risky move that might not pay dividends in the long run. Also as seen with the Golden State Warriors health and depth on the bench will become a problem.

The Lakers already had low bench production, what happens if Anthony Davis or Lebron James or both gets injured again? The Lakers are going to need more shooters and a viable point guard unless Rajon Rondo is coming back? But at this point no one knows. it would be good if Kentavious Caldwell-Pope re-signed but like Davis he was a one year contract. Right now the Lakers have a number of positions including the 2 and the 5 that need to be filled.

Also since 2014 the Lakers have traded all of their lottery selections which include Julius Randall (2014′), D’ Angelo Russell(2015) and Now Lonzo Ball(2017) and Brandon Ingram(2016). And each time a player is traded they go on to become productive basketball players elsewhere. The hope is that Lonzo Ball and Brandon Ingram don’t follow that path leaving fans wondering why and what if for years to come. For the long term the Pelicans seem to be the only team that made out with the better deal in the long term. The pelicans got two young talented players and have draft picks that can be leveraged for more assets in the upcoming draft and in the future.

Bringing it all together

The trade makes sense for a struggling franchise looking to get back to their winning ways in the Lakers. And this trade makes sense for the pelicans looking to build for the future. The Lakers gave Lebron James a viable weapon to play with but at what cost? And will the Lakers benefit from the trade? This trade shows that as a franchise they are making a concerted effort to win now.

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