#so a boo buddy kind of makes sense

[chronicparagon]

So, I learned there is a tool called a boo buddy. They look like stuffed animals like teddy bears, but are actually tools. They can detect electromagnetic frequencies (EMF), ask electronic voice phenomena (EVP) questions, and provide responses. It can also detect changes in temperature, vibrations, and changes of its own position. 

It’s recommended to have a voice recorder and camera to record changes from the boo buddy during the investigation. 

Supposedly, having something that may be familiar to the spirits like a teddy bear or stuffed animal can attract them. 

[m0stlygh0st]

Alright, another sona drop! This time for my TADC s/i, Rubi!

Based off the dancing show ponies some circuses have. :3 Despite not having a mouth, she can talk perfectly fine, but she tends to gesture and talk a lot with her hooves or by making wild gestures.

… And of course, I ship her with the anxious monarch lmao.

Now then… are ya’ll ready for some sad pining? Some boo hoo ship lore? >w> 💕

Okay, okay, okay. SO, this is all being said with the full knowledge that the show can go in any which way-- the plot I have outlined for my silly little self ship is purely just headcanon fodder for funsies. Sometimes you can enjoy sad fluff. As a treat!

Alright, as a really basic overview, Rubi ends up feeling an odd sense of wanting to protect Kinger pretty quickly off the bat and in turn, he appreciates someone taking him at least somewhat seriously-- she calls him 'your majesty' as a term of endearment over all else, but Kinger sees it as reverence, whoops-- and she ends up falling into line as an un-official knight for him. Even if that means just giving the poor guy a comforting pat or helping to guard his little pillow fort.

Okay, so that being said: Knights, in chess, can be used to protect King and Queen pieces equally. A Knight is a powerful piece but the one piece it can't take is a King. :3

The way I see their relationship filling out is like... Rubi knows that Kinger will probably-- hopefully, even-- end up reunited with Queenie somehow. She knows the two are a pair and she can't interfere with that, regardless of how she feels. So, even with Kinger feeling affectionate towards Rubi, and Rubi feeling the same towards Kinger, it won’t go much farther than unofficial cuddle buddies at most. Exchanged glances that last a little longer than intended, sitting a little closer than normal at the dinner table, falling asleep in a heap together in Kinger’s pillow fort, things like that. She wants Kinger to be happy-- whether that's with her, or with Queenie, in the end. And even when someone brings that up– the fact that Kinger might end up with Queenie in the end if they can reverse the abstraction, or that he’s still kind of hung up on losing Queenie in the first place– she’s quick to say “I know” with a bittersweet look. No other arguments, no excuses or defenses on her own part unless someone asks for specifics. Just a solemn little “Yep.”

So.... yeah! Unrequited love is a hell of a thing!!! :D I don't know why this was the way my head took the ship initially but that's just how the chips fall I guess lmao. It’s very reminiscent of like, the relationship Victor, Emily and Victoria had at the end of the Corpse Bride— “I love you, but you’re not mine” kinda style. :3

[thelovelybitten]

more loonatics headcanons / shenanigans...

i've been on such a binge watch of lu that I just need to post abt it okay leave me alone

BUT I'VE NOTICED THINGS !!! (this is s2 ep4) !! you kind of get an insight of what they all like to do and things they enjoy with these bedroom stills.

ACE:

obviously: likes carrots, cute lil bunny.

HIS LIL DOORMAT DJSNGJSDNJK

i couldn't zoom in enough to see what's on his monitor but you know he likes to watch shows before bed. relatable content.

the fact he's got two side tables as well gives me eating in his bed vibes but also he'd be clean abt it. i also think he'd be a big comic book reader. not sure what, but he would be. I'll let y'all decide.

speaking on that, there's a shelf with books on the far right so yeah. i think he'd also read manga bc of his anime complex. he may also keep some sort of CDs ? maybe vinyls ???

i know this man keeps katanas and a dartboard in his room.

he's a snowboarder !!!! THAT'S SO COOL. he must be a god bc this man is AGILE.

he's got a skyline view PHEWWWWW rich ass mf

also. an aquarium on his right (our left) which is so fun I wonder what kinds of marine life they'd keep!!!

I'm also not sure what the compartment behind his head is for but I think its a closed-off bookshelf or space for his knick-knacks. i also see a fireplace too but idk how logical that is lol

LEXI:

NOW WHY SHE SLEEPING IN A HAMMOCK WHEN THE GIRLIE COULD HAVE A QUEEN SIZED BED ??? she's quirky like that ig. whatever makes her comfy. (I know she'd upgrade, I just know. just bc she can sleep anywhere doesn't mean she's always comfortable.)

a phone/pager by her bed is so real

THE WALLPAPER IS BEACHY IT'S SO CUTE

she's a SKIIER AND A SURFER. WHAT CAN'T SHE DO. (seasickness who)

cabinet obvi for storage, idk why she'd have anything important in there besides old childhood items it's so high up???

lower shelves are for books and things maybe. or video games.

AND DO YOU SEE THE AQUARIUM ??? THIS CONFIRMS THAT LEXI AND ACE HAVE NEIGHBOURING BEDROOMS AND NO ONE CAN CHANGE MY MIND. there has to be some type of barrier/wall between the two tanks for privacy reasons but I'M DEAD GNFDGNDJKFNJDFNKHK MY BABIES

opposing skyline views so iconic... i know she takes mad insta pictures (or duck takes them) to get good sunset shots

i believe the items on the table are her laptop, a makeup bag andddd maybe a clutch purse? just a guess bc they're so tiny.

laptop makes sense. it'd be hard but she could still try to get an education on the side??? lots of work for a girl but she's a boss like that.

makeup for obvious reasons

clutch purse for nights out

SLAM:

THE WAY I'D BE SO SCARED FOR THAT WEIGHT TO DROP ON MY HEAD. SLAM IS A TROOPER WTF

I remember sumth abt that cylinder thingy on the left but I can't remember what it's for yet. will update when the ep comes.

MANS IS AN INTELLECTUAL !! those are all comic books (like ace, they bond) and language workbooks.

the poster of pizza is SO REAL OF HIM

there's a teeny tiny chute beside his door and I wonder what it's for. maybe it's a scanner? idk

light above his head is also...a choice.

i'd like to think that the things at the end of his bed are air purifiers and that slam has some sort of breathing issue when he goes to sleep. maybe he grinds his jaw or is a mouth breather;;;

computer for gaming tings and other endeavours

A WHOLE ASS TREADMILL YEAH BUDDY U STAY IN SHAPE.

i know this man doesn't have a WHOLE ASS DRUMSTICK IN HIS BED. but makes sense. he totally eats in bed BUT IS MESSY ABT IT. duck and lexi HATE IT IT'S NASTY HAHAH they ask him to switch his sheets and vacuum almost everyday

DUCK:

THIS MAN IS SO CONCEITED I CAN'T Y'ALL.

but like ace, he also has a tv by his bed I know he and lexi would watch romcoms together

K-DRAMAS???? SPECIFICALLY SINGLES INFERNO (only bc s3 just came out, it's on the brain) duck just boasts abt how he's better looking than all of the other males while lexi is very much about the relationships/drama

his little peek-a-boo window behind his head is so cute :"))))

I have no god damn clue what that thing is beside him on the left but I'm sure it's important

but he wears headphones to sleep !!! must need white noise or rain to sleep

control panel for his lights and other digitally controlled shit in his room

THIS MAN HAS SO MANY MAGAZINES AND NEWSPAPER ARTICLES ABOUT HIMSELF AND THE LOONATICS (but only bc he is in them, thank yew) I also think he'd carry a lot of fashion magazines too. things that are in. the second a fad ends he's done w it

I'm assuming this is an arcade game setup, but i think he'd love Mario kart :) him and tech love to battle on this but move it to the main room bc duck thinks tech is cheating bc "the screen is two small".

i know this man would sleep with mf silk sheets and a fleece comforter he's a bougie bitch

computer for obvious reasons

REV:

i had to include all four shots bc he is a sleepwalker/runner LOOK AT HOW CUTE HE IS ;U;

it looks like he sleeps in a casket-like bed (hence, the lid is open top centre) I believe he only has this open when he's awake so idk who forgot to close it. it needs to be closed so that when rev does actually get up and sleepwalks, he's contained. the last thing the loonatics want to wake up to is the house completely trashed bc rev had a dream he was running from something. so casket bed it was.

that's also why. he doesn't sleep with sheets. if he trips and falls oh lord. therefore he wears super warm pjs in the winter to not freeze to death

he's got a ton of books, rightfully so, I think he and tech would share this bookcase because it would have different manuals, blueprints and miscellaneous mechanical guides. robot guides. that too. i also think rev would be that person who re-reads his childhood books over and over again and not get sick of them ever

there is also a treadmill in this room I just know it

a tv as well. idk where, but I hc it's there.

TECH:

thanks for giving me nothing to work with here

I kind looked forward into the ep and there's a smidge of the bedroom in a frame but idk what the other shit could be

but I know his room is very clean. it's SPOTLESS. everything is organized and well put together.

I'm going to ignore the fact he suckles his thumb bc this man is 24 years old BYE

there's a whole bunch of ai robots in there to do anything he wants.

he is also the other loonatic who has their own bathroom. he only got it bc he won the straw draw. well, ace won technically, but gave it to tech bc he was the oldest and would keep it in the best shape. duck still hasn't forgiven him for it.

he shares it with lexi since she's the only lady in the house :) ain't no way she shares with the boys.

the others share the other bathroom. one more gets installed later but the other four are SOL

tech also has a nice walk-in closet

he needs to take melatonin b4 bed bc this man is noctournal

has drones scattered on shelves, ones he's built and ones he's collected from professors and other inventors

AAAAND THAT'S IT. THANKS FOR COMING TO ANOTHER TED TALK LOL I'MMA GO FINISH S2 XOXO

[dotster001]

Headcanons for Aquia, Lance, Dia, Sherry and Rio when they find a doodle of them with little hearts around it in the reader's notebook?

A/N: Oh my gosh, this is so cute, I can't even. I hope you like this, cause I had fun writing it

....

They had to miss class yesterday. But they knew you would be a dutiful student and take notes. And you were always so kind, so you didn't think twice when you handed them your notebook. As they started flipping through to find yesterday's notes, their eyes were drawn to their name, surrounded by hearts, in the margins of your pages. Oh boy!

That can't be his name, right? Maybe you had intended to write Guy Avari, but then had gotten distracted by him talking to you? (Sure sweetie, whatever makes sense to you.)

He has your name with hearts around it in his diary, but he can't seem to wrap his head around the fact that it's his name in your notes. 

Probably won't ask you about it. He'll just pretend he didn't see it. And he'll gaslight himself about it too. He didn't actually see his name with hearts around it, he just wanted to see it.  So his brain made it up. Yeah, that's it!

It's gonna be you, who randomly remembers one day that you let him borrow your notebook that you may or may not have written his name in and doodled some fun hearts around. It's gonna be you that shakily approaches him with the ever awkward "Hey…"

He's flustered but so excited when he finds out you did indeed mean to put his name. He's happily reaching for your hands, running his thumb along your knuckles, as he tells you he does the same thing. Quickly starts blushing when he realizes he was rambling. Overall, a good start to what's sure to be a very sweet relationship.

God, this absolute nightmare. I'm sorry you have to go through this boo, because he will torture you until you die.

He had actually been going to classes recently, for no particular reason of course. So he was really irritated when he overslept due to his nightly activities with his drinking buddies. But his irritation quickly faded when he got his hands on your notes and saw Lance Ira with hearts circling it in several spots. 

"I saw something terribly interesting in your notes."

You don't know if you've ever heard so many words leave his mouth at once. But it makes it easier for you to immediately know what he is referring to. And it's that moment you know how fucked you are.

No excuse you can come up with will save you. He has a response to all of it. And it only takes two classes before you just want to punch that smug smile off his perfect face.

"Dragon's teeth, your lucky you look so cute when you're teased."

And now you're flustered for a new reason. And you're ready to tell him to fuck off when he runs a thumb along your bottom lip, before laughing and leaving you high and dry.

Absolute nightmare part two. It takes even less time to remember Dia Akedia written in flowery writing with little hearts in your notebook than it would with Lance. Because Dia is immediately smirking and making his way into your personal space.

"Don't tell me you're trying to escape now?" He'll hum at you with that perfect, infuriating  smile ever present on his face.

Honestly, for the better well being of your heart, you should pull his card and hide in your room all day. Because he's going to be sitting slightly closer, whispering in your ear, and calling you all manner of nicknames, All. Day. Long.

What will break you will be when the day is over, and he gives you the saddest look, as you announce you're going to bed for the night, and says something about you being so cruel with his heart. He thought you loved him? 

Just kill him. He's going to come to class every day from now on just to tease you until you admit you adore him. Just kill him. It's your only way out.

She's torn between wanting to tease you, and wanting to admit her feelings for you. So she does both.

"Y/N, have you chosen a paramour? Because I have a certain someone I'd like to recommend."

She's so cute, and that giggle she gives is so pretty, that you're distracted and don't realize what it is she's referring to. So you probably just say something like "uh huh" which makes her giggle again. 

She realizes that she's going to need some advice on how to proceed, so she goes to Violet to come up with a game plan. Violet's plan is super simple. But they both know it'll work.

Essentially, Sherry returns the notes, pretending she didn't see her name with hearts written around it, and invites you to tea after class. When you arrive, she gives you a flower, and asks you to be her paramour. Maybe she'll tell you what she saw in your notebook after you've been together for a little while. But rest assured, it will come back up when you least expect it.

*Sighs heavily* this himbo.

He totally thinks it's in a friend way. Which is good if you're not ready to ask him out, but bad if a part of you wanted him to see his name with hearts written around it and FINALLY NOTICE YOUR FEELINGS FOR HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Aw, you're such a good mate, Y/N."

God bless Thoma for trying to get him to see how you feel about him/he really feels about you. But it's to no avail. And now a part of you is wishing you had written someone else's name in hopes that he would get jealous and maybe you two would finally move forward.

I'm sorry to tell you, but this is not going to be resolved. You're going to have to try something else my dear. Oh, and you're going to have to explain to Lynt why Rio has written his name with hearts on a paper that he had assigned.

[inkdemonapologist]

JDS Bankruptcy Thoughts????

Okay so the latest news article has got me thinking about JDS’s bankruptcy, now that we actually have a year. I was checking the bankruptcy notice in Joey’s apartment to see if this lined up with information we already knew, and Boo pointed out something far more interesting: Joey filed for a Chapter 11 bankruptcy.

(source)

So, I checked with an accountant friend who was happy to dissect my silly fandom things and explain business terminology to me, and the first thing to get out of the way is that Chapter 11 wasn’t an option for corporations until 1978. But, you know, this is BatIM, where we have tape recorders in 1929, so maybe this just happened 30-some-odd years early in the BatIM timeline. (or maybe Joey’s apartment isn’t real and none of the letters in it can be trusted. That’s also possible). (or maybe this was just a mistake and will be quietly dropped from the lore without explanation THATS ALSO FINE)

But if we assume this did in fact happen, then this is interesting: Chapter 11 lets a corporation stay in business despite their outstanding debts, as long as they have a plan in place to pay them off. Accountant friend described it as “reorganisation” and “essentially, asking for more time.” When Boo had looked it up, he found big companies doing things like liquidating many many stores in order to focus on supporting a smaller number of stores that they felt could remain sustainable and keep making money. So you’ll get headlines about COMPANY BANKRUPT, CLOSING 400 STORES ACROSS THE COUNTRY, but they’re not fully shutting down.

We don’t know if BatDR and BatIM will have consistent lore between them, bUT IF SO, then the 1948 newspaper article announcing the the animation studio is CLOSING ITS DOORS FOREVER doesn’t seem to match the kind of bankruptcy that Joey Drew supposedly filed for. How would he keep the company going if he’s getting rid of everything?

When @inkyvendingmachine and I were trying to make sense of this, he offered one possible explanation: WHAT IF… THERE ARE TWO STUDIOS.

We’ve already been given two conflicting studio locations – TIOL in 1942 describes a studio in the Meatpacking District, which Joey could be lying about I guess, but there’s no reason we can see for him to lie about that – especially when it’s not exactly a normal or glamorous place for an animation studio to be – versus Buddy’s description of Joey Drew Studios being on Broadway in 1946, with Joey purchasing a theatre next door and promising to bring toy merchandising in-house by the end of DCTL. The 1948 news article specifies it is the Broadway location and the company’s land in New Jersey (likely intended for Bendyland) that are being liquidated to pay off debts – so what if the Meatpacking District location still exists?

iirc Halfusek brought up the concept of two studios WAY BACK WHEN we first got this info from TIOL – the idea that there could be a reason Joey specifies “the Old Workshop,” the place Henry used to work, as opposed to the newer fancier place that he’s having to abruptly sell in 1948. By promising to downscale his ambitiously expensive projects and go back to doing what JDS does best, Joey might be able to make a case that JDS could bounce back… which DOES seem in-character. And he’s moved the machine before – just stash it in the Meatpacking District location now, and nobody’ll be the wiser.

This… probably didn’t work out for him. There’s hints in the 1948 article that Joey might have gone missing (which I’m sure (???) we’ll get more information on soon), so that would sort of get in the way of a bankruptcy hearing if he didn't turn up again before the deadline (abandoning the business is a whole OTHER legal thing). And the August 15th notice above is not actually the bankruptcy going through, just the first step, where JDS is found to qualify for Chapter 11 and the plan to pay back debts has been approved – as far as my accountant friend could tell, it still needs to be approved by the company’s creditors, and there would be more hearings after this. So… we don’t know that the bankruptcy actually went through just because Joey filed it, and if he were found falsifying information about the company’s finances (something im sure joey would NEVER do) or trying to stuff company funds or assets in his own pocket (again, something TRULY unthinkable for mr drew [meaningful glance at the ink machine in joey’s apartment]) then that could also be an explanation for why Joey does NOT seem well off in 1963, if he ended up without bankruptcy protection and was found personally liable for the some of the company’s debts.

Anyway, we don’t know enough to know anything for sure, and this might all get jossed with the next press archive release, but I found Boo’s idea such an iNTERESTING THOUGHT that I'm sticking it up here anyway lmao WE'LL SEE HOW LONG IT LASTS!! in the meantime def interested to know about alternate takes on the BANKRUPTCY SITUATION if anything stands out to anyone else 👀

[sparkiekong]

OC question of the day!

If you could make a character real, which of your OCs would be:

your bestie

your spouse/partner

your secret lover!

your friendly rival

your enemy!

BONUS: do this for other people’s OCs too!

Pass the game along (anonymously or not)

@igglemouse @108sims and @helenofsimblr - OK! I'll do it!! Fine. I had to think hard and it's still too difficult so here goes!

Bestie would be Eel - He's got so much to tell yet. I can't wait for you all to see all he's got to offer. He's chill, he's the guy you could count on when you think no one else would. He'd be there for you no matter what. Followed in closely by the two Nicks - Nick Gould (@helenofsimblr) and Nickie Catzenberg - You can bet your ass they'll back you up and if they think you're wrong they'll say so. Lyra, Bob and Cat are a good friends to bestie up with... Lyra's sensibilities, Bob's honor and strong sense of right, with Cat's kindness. Franny would be fun at a party as would Guy and Elita. Oh, John boy is so sweet. He's such a tender hearted fellow. I want him to succeed... Wilbur Laffer would be my buddy too. He's hilarious and fun.

I know it sound cliche, but I could be friends with anyone I've created or @helenofsimblr's characters. I basically see them all everyday in my head so they all really feel like they could just walk in the door and be like "Hey Kong how's it going."

No spouse no one can replace my boo... EVER. Sorry! - I actually have a sim of him in game with my simself. You may see them in background shots from time to time. Hubby heavily inspired RT Van Richten and he has a lot of inspiration on the lore and personalities of several prominent characters.

Secret Lover - Kyleigh from @helenofsimblr she's a sultry thing. On my side, Cat or Evie... heck, just book me for a night with all three of those lovely ladies. DC could pop in too. I like a girl that can mix a good drink.

friendly rival - Morrigan from mine and Kira from @helenofsimblr both have this feeling about them that they could be very friendly or very aggressive like there's no dimmer switch for it's either friendly or bitch mode and you can't tell when it's going to be which mood. It just doesn't mesh well with my very conflict adverse self. I much prefer chill people.

enemy - Probably Azura (Crazy AF) , Jure (pompous ass), and Yakob (CREEPY) they're horrible and crazy! Also no Moriarty fam... those guys... well... bad news always from those guys... and Cedric... from @helenofsimblr - he was such a horrid influence on Lyra in a moment of darkness after Bob was "dead". Not a fan of Soggy Sarah Sanders either. She's such a wet noodle. Isaac Danvers is on my shit list too! I was so glad to see DC punch him.

[nerves-nebula]

god okay I really hope this isnt too fucked up, this is just a thing that i know of people experiencing and I can't stop projecting it so. just imagining Mikey knowing about all of the specifically sxual abuse his brothers suffered and he "just" got "Normal Abuse" and feeling some sort of way about it. like "what's so wrong with me that I'm not even wanted like that". vigorously shaking him because boy that is not a thing you want to be! idk if this makes any sort of sense. just like "why am I the only one that never got that specific type of abuse". and then obviously him feeling shitty for having that weird sort of envy because hey! what the fuck! yknow?

"really hoped this isn't too fucked up" buddy boo you have NO IDEA the kinds of fucked up I enjoy.

also yeah this is a vibe. it's kinda funny cuz "wishing your trauma was worse and then feeling bad about it cuz wtf" is like. a really common thing for traumatized people, especially people who don't realize they're traumatized cuz OUR SOCIETY ain't really good at like. informing people of their trauma. I used to do this with my sexual abuse tbh. what happened to me didnt feel extreme enough to justify my trauma lmao.

anyway, I think Mikey wouldn't feel that way most of the time- I just don't think it's in his character. but i do think he'd feel bad that he didn't get it as bad as the others. he'd constantly be downplaying his own trauma or thinking about how much worse everyone else got it, and he'd feel guilty that he came out relatively unscathed.

[wrestlingisfake]

Soft

CM Punk's "pegwarmer" promo from August 12 suggests that one of three things is happening:

Punk is trying to turn heel, but a passive-aggressive "I love you even though you boo me" kind of heel.

Punk and the Elite have secretly worked out a secret agreement to do a match, so Punk is shit-talking to generate buzz for it.

Punk had a "sir this is a Wendy's" moment because he saw a sign he didn't agree with.

Option 1 doesn't make sense--Punk is the babyface against Samoa Joe right now (and probably against MJF soon) so heeling on Hangman Page for later is counterproductive. Option 2 is (so far) magical thinking--there's no evidence the Punk/Elite program is happening, except that it would be more convenient to believe that than the alternative. The alternative is that Punk is went off-script because he's a hyperdefensive idiot.

Granted, this whole thing started because Hangman Page went off-script about "worker's rights" 15 months ago, and that shouldn't have happened either. Whether or not I agree with how Punk handled that, I understand why it set him off. I do not, however, see how a "North Carolina is Hangman country" sign set him off. A fan essentially said "I like this other wrestler" and Punk went out of his way to say "well, I sell more toys than him" as if he's Kevin Nash in TNA. Again, it would be nice to think this is for a wrestling storyline, but that's mostly because if it isn't then it's really pathetic.

I feel like I've been drifting away from AEW for the past couple of months. At first I thought I was just busy with my job, or following the G1. But the more I think about it, it all goes back to June 17, when Punk said "I'm sorry that the only people softer than you are the wrestlers you like." All I've seen since then is all the wrestlers I like trying to move past it, except for the one picking fights with signs. So yeah, buddy, I'll tell you when you're telling lies.

[abuddyforeveryseason]

This is the Buddy for March 10th. There's a lot of smoke there. At first I was toying with making the image even taller, like ten times the size, so that most of it was covered in smoke, but decided to go with this one. A real coin toss, really.

On an unrelated point, I heard about Akira Toriyama's death yesterday. Pretty sad, considering he was still comparatively young (68) and active. I was a huge Chrono Trigger fan when I was young, and I've played that game through the end several times. Best RPG of its generation.

I also liked Dragon Ball, although not as much, and that love kind of diminshed with age. Still, I've got a lot of nostalgia for the Z era sagas, with Freeza and Cell. And I read the manga, the early years with kid Goku were pretty interesting, too.

Unfortunately, after the Boo saga the franchise kind of went off-rails. Wasn't into the anime-only GT series, not to mention the games or the disastrous movie. The Super series wasn't as bad, but still doesn't compare to the original.

Still, I have real fond memories of the story. It's an interesting and unique story - or at least it would be if it wasn't so incredibly popular it became ingrained into everyone's mind and imitated to such an extent. I'm reading Osamu Tezuka's Boku no Son Goku, which was also inspired by Journey to the West, and this time I can say Tezuka's work wasn't the superior adaptation. Of course, you have to consider the context...

It's hard to explain a lot about Dragon Ball, especially to people who aren't fans. It started out as a comedic parody of a XVIth century novel, but then it turned into a martial arts story, and then it became serious? And the main character grew up, dozens of minor characters piled up in the background... and all of that before the twist that started the story I'm familiar with - Goku's an alien?

Toriyama's art made the story a lot more pleasant, too. The design of vehicles, aliens, monsters and robots was top notch, and what made me enjoy the story much more than the fight scenes and associated cliches. Another interesting thing was Toriyama's use of twists which led the stories into a different direction when compared to other shonen manga, which often adhered religiously to the build-up to stronger enemies in sucession.

But that's also where the story issues lie. The first is the bloated cast of characters being humiliated so Goku could steal the spotlight. The biggest victim there is Yamcha, but, really, everyone who was beaten by Goku then turned good was kind of cannon fodder. That started as a twist, too - so this evil guy Goku had so much trouble with got beaten so easily by the new villain? Damn. And since new villains kept being introduced, each one being so much stronger than the last, it was hard to make sense of how strong the characters were (and any realism was already out the window thanks to all the plot devices keeping the characters alive and strong enough to fight).

It's funny by the end of the story - or even, by the end of the kid Goku era already - the dragon balls were also relegated to the background. I don't like a lot of the cliches of the series, the plot devices used to make characters stronger with no interesting consequences, the convoluted use of elements of past stories, annoying character behaviors... but, still, you have to respect a guy who managed to start out with such a weird little comedy with its goofy looking vehicles and talking dinosaurs, and turn it into a behemoth so popular, people can have such strong feelings about it.

RIP, Akira Toriyama.

[adamwatchesmovies]

Ocean's Thirteen (2007)

Inexplicably, the Ocean’s franchise didn’t sink into oblivion after the sewage that was Ocean’s Twelve. This third chapter in the series fares much better than its predecessor but never reaches the level of the original (neither the original original or the 2001 remake). Still, as another installment, it does offer the remaining fans more of what they want to see, which is something.

After Reuben (Elliott Gould) loses his investment in a new hotel-casino to his business partner, Willy Bank (Al Pacino), he suffers a heart attack and becomes bedridden. Danny (George Clooney) and the rest of the Ocean Club decide to get even by ruining Bank and his new establishment.

If you’re not endeared to the Ocean’s crew, this plot will be an uphill battle. "Boo hoo. Poor Reuben is so upset he’s not making millions off this gaudy casino that he’s become catatonic. Guess it’s up to his buddies to get revenge on his behalf instead of just convincing the proper authorities that he was strongarmed into signing a contract?" Towards the end of the film, the crew’s old nemesis, Terry Benedict (Andy García, whose character is brought back under dubious pretenses), sees millions of his money donated to charity without his consent. I wonder if any of the cash the protagonists end up swiping from Banks would’ve gone anywhere except their pockets had they not had a score to settle. While some of this is mitigated by the fact that Willy Bank is a jerk, what we're seeing feels like a whole lot of “the 1%’s problems”. There isn’t a love plot to make us believe this is about anything but money unless you count the brotherly love between the Ocean’s crew. Even that seems like a stretch.

In the first movie and even in the second in a “sure, whatever”, kind of way, it made sense for these 11 people (we’ll get to that number in a moment) to join forces. Now? It seems overly optimistic to think the random Chinese acrobat who doesn’t speak English would put himself at risk as he does here. Now to be fair, this story makes much better use of its characters than Twelve did. No one gets stuffed into a bag and shipped off to nowhere halfway through, for example. Everyone has a role to play and it works though it should be noted that neither Julia Roberts nor Catherine Zeta-Jones return.

You’re wondering who the two new members of the crew are. One is the aforementioned Benedict, who plays the role of a benefactor. The other is… Eddie Izzard as Roman Nagel. I think. The motif of adding a new expert to the crew with each sequel has basically disappeared, and for good reason. This series can barely handle the people it has on its roster. Adding more is becoming increasingly problematic but it’s also necessary. See, “The Bank” has insane security measures, the kind no one in their right might would even try to circumvent. On the one hand, this makes for exciting scenes that make you wonder how the lock will get cracked. On the other, it makes the plot feel manufactured. For example, there's this super secure room that contains expensive jewelry. The plan to get in? Have Linus Caldwell (Matt Damon) and his phoney-looking rubber nose seduce Bank’s right-hand woman, Abigail Sponder (Ellen Barkin). With the help of some magic pheromones, she’ll get so hot and bothered she’ll have no choice but to bring Linus into the only room in the whooooole building that's guaranteed to be deserted. Apparently, there are cameras in the bathrooms, the closets and her private office. It’s a horrible subplot made unintentionally comical by the fact that nothing happens between her and Linus. The movie teases nudity for at least 15 minutes. Ellen Barkin's chest is ALMOST falling out of her dress for so long it’s ridiculous. I thought she was slobbering at the mouth for some man meat but she’s not even taking off her clothes? What’s going on here?!

I’ve been mostly bad-mouthing Ocean's Thirteen because the film is constantly on the brink of crumbling under its own weight. I will still call it a “good” sequel because fans of this series will be happy with it. You hate the bad guy, there are enough laughs to keep you smiling consistently and the con is so complicated it’s fun to see all the pieces coming together. All of the actors are obviously having a great time. I’m in no hurry to watch it again but if you love love love the first, you didn’t mind the second and you want to know if you should watch the third, then I say “sure”. I say this despite feeling like twice was too many for me. (April 29, 2022)

[echoeternally]

Bowser Buddies (ENY)

For the ongoing Mario fanfic that I'm working on, there are some additional characters that were included as Bowser's extra loyal allies. Someone requested a little more information about their background and descriptions, so, here's that!

Background blurb: Conceptually, these characters were supposed to feel similar to Paper Mario 1 & 2 partners, but for Bowser instead of Mario. It was a fun idea that floated into my brain, and I just rolled with it. When I knew that Bowser and Mario were going to be facing adversity to having a relationship from both kingdoms, I wanted to make sure that Bowser had support past Junior and the Koopalings. It felt stronger to include characters from races that his army employed, rather than other high-ranking leaders (Petey Pirahna, King Boo, King Bob-omb, etc.), so that way it would show he still could appeal with his citizens. Also, it allowed the inclusion of rainbow color friends for the obvious reasons, lol.

Goomphen the Goomba / Spiked Goomba (Brown): He’s a Goomba with eyes that are wider than the usual Goomba, and with flatter teeth too. The teeth were meant to be similar to Goombario’s teeth, who was the first partner in the first Paper Mario. The eyes were meant to emphasize his usual demeanor tending toward the fearful side. Following the Paper Mario origin, I decided that his advanced form would be similar to the Spiked Goomba, which was an enemy type that debuted in the series. To make his appearance more unique, I gave him four spikes on top of his cap rather than one, which felt like believable compensation for his otherwise timid nature. (More spikes for more defense, repelling enemies from attacking.) His features in general tend to make him stand out more than he would like, which only furthers his unnerved personality.

Koopaella the Koopa / Koopatrol (Purple): She’s a Koopa with a purple shell and matching purple shoes! Very exciting ideas going, I know. To help her stand out more, and because I knew that I wanted her to become a Dark (Elite?) Koopatrol, I gave her the ruby eyes to match the designation. Continuing the homage to the Paper Mario partner tradition, she was the second partner, and her alternate form was that of a Paper Mario original enemy. With Goombella being the second version of a Goomba partner and since we had two Koopa boys in a row, I thought it would make sense to have a Koopa girl for this one; the “ella” suffix was also pays homage to Goombella. Since she’s typically a serious type, she tends to have a stoic expression, turning kinda prideful when Bowser praises her and souring to annoyance or anger when dealing with enemies…or nuisances like Nix. Guard characters in Paper Mario tended to carry spears as weapons, so that tends to be her default choice; I like to imagine that she carries a sword around as well, because a Koopatrol seems like a Koopa knight equivalent.

Tech Guy the Shy Guy / Fly Guy (Blue): This is a Shy Guy that wears blue robes instead of the usual red, and tends to carry around a dark blue / indigo backpack full of gadgets (and matching shoes). The idea is that he has multiple kinds of devices to employ, true to a Shy Guy’s versatility in using a variety of weapons. He later gains a light blue propeller to take on the Fly Guy form, allowing him to navigate air spaces as needed. To keep the assortment idea going, his default weapon tends to be a spear, allowing him to switch into Spear Guy weaponry and tactics. Though I don’t think I ever elaborated on the bag, it’s meant to carry anything a Shy Guy would need to help keep the class changes going. Stilts, skates, slingshots…you name it, he’ll game it. (Since he’s a smart guy, pun intended, I was considering if he should have maybe a pocket protector or something too.) He was also meant to give a bit of a break to the Paper Mario exclusives pattern, since his two main forms weren’t originally from those games.

Jasmine the Snifit / Scorchit (Yellow): A Snifit that wears a yellow, perhaps floral robe. The idea of a Koopa Troop member wearing a sunshine color but employing bullets as weaponry seemed funny to me. Even her name makes you feel like she’s not a threat, keeping the flower theme going. (Probably wears green boots too. Maybe wears a flower crown when nobody’s looking…or maybe just for fun regardless of anyone around.) To make the contrast even more jarring, her upgraded form that appears later is to allow her nozzle to fire not only bullets, but fireballs as well, with flames being a notable opposite to flower petals. The nozzle even added soot and burn marks to her mask, making it even more horrifying to think that this seemingly sweet Snifit is actually a scary force of strength. (Don’t mess.) Technically, a Snifit that shoots fire out is known as a Scorchit, but I don’t recall how often (or ever) using that term for her. Similar to her Shy Guy companion, I liked the idea more that she would be able to switch her type of powers around with various nozzle swaps or storage capacity, but…I don’t think I ever got around to that. Fun idea though! Also, it was nice to swipe something from the Yoshi franchise, since that’s where the Scorchit enemy originates.

Niall the Paratroopa / Shining Paratroopa (White): The Feather Duster himself! It seemed funny to picture a type of servant member in Bowser’s army being…an actual servant. So, that’s where this fellow came in! He wears a white shell and boots to match his wings, and carries around his nicknamesake: a feather duster! (But a twist is that he actually has multiple! One that he has is with a black rod and white wiper, one that’s red and blue, and one with green and pink. Probably would wear gloves like Mario does too, because that’d fit.) I remember originally looking to see variations on Koopa Paratroopas and finding nothing exciting outside of the Paper Mario Sticker Star enemy, which stuck out since I came up with the silly notion of, “Oh, haha, that would fit his character, having a shell so cleaned that it shines, ha…wait a minute, that’s good.” So, his upgraded form would be a Shiny Paratroopa, which I renamed into Shining Paratroopa to emphasize it a little more and to make the sparkling seem more of an intentional/offensive choice. The shell would sparkle more than usual, but could be made to glimmer in a bright, blinding light; that’s easier to magnify combining it with sunlight or starlight, which is easy for a Paratroopa to fly around and find. He tends to have a cheerful or innocent expression, although whenever his name is forgotten, he gets a bit distressed.

Nix the Rex / Winged Rex (Black): Everyone’s favorite minion of the minon squad, and I’m actually pretty happy about it. I have a soft spot for Rexes, which I thought would make a natural counterpart to Yoshis. Nintendo never made that happen, sadly, but it still seems fun in my mind! I liked making the color choice similar to a Black Yoshi, with white colors where the Rex would normally have orange or red colors: boots, belly, wings. Though he’d have the usual small nose spike of a Rex, he also has more spikes on his tail. The white wings are more avian like, since his appearance was intended to be comparable to the Winged Yoshi power-up form for Yoshi, and allowing the normally flightless Rex to actually fly. His eyes being green seemed nicer than having the squinty expression, and kinda to call-back to Yoshi too. (I preferred the expressions from the Rex debut in Super Mario World and its artwork, as opposed to whatever Mario & Luigi attempted.) Due to being flirtatious, his expression would normally include smugness, lowered eyes, lip licking, and probably a few winks thrown in.

Ruby the Boo / Shifting/Morphing Boo (Red/Pink): Pretty much the red/pink type of Boo variant found in the Mario Party games. By the time I had a color theme set, I saw this and felt like it was a simple yet fun inclusion. It also covered both red and pink colors, which I was wondering what to include next and thought it was easier to knock two out at once. (Probably should’ve used both, but, it works well enough, I suppose!) Expression-wise, just a standard Boo with a big toothy grin. The idea of the upgraded form, which involves Ruby changing his shape to others, came from the types of ghostly enemies that were labeled as Boo enemies, but also resembled different species from Bowser’s army, such as a Fishing Boo from Super Mario World resembling a Lakitu, and a Boo Guy from Yoshi’s Island looking like a Shy Guy. Having a Boo that could change its shape and transform felt like a fun and fitting ascended form that a Boo might gain, so I went with the unique name(s) of Shifting Boo / Morphing Boo. There are two names because I am extremely indecisive and liked both ideas. If he’d wear a costume/outfit, I like to think it would be similar to the outfit that Boo used in Mario Party 4, but red and pink instead of blue and yellow; he’d also make fun of Magikoopas while wearing it.

Olive the Blooper / Poison Blooper (Green): Harmonizing with Ruby is Olive, because a red Boo deserves a green Bloo…per. Since there wasn’t an aquatic selection, and I wanted one that could apparently move on (or rather over) land without choking to breathe, a Blooper seemed like a nice choice. (Several Mario spin-offs that showcased them just kinda floating around helped influence the choice.) Respectful and diligent in terms of personality; I like to think she’d be the one that works hardest to just show off her work ethic. Being so prim and proper might cause others around her to feel lesser in conjunction with the busybody tendencies. She kind of borders on a dangerous line to being the mom friend of the group, but has no desire to be a mom, so take that as you will. Defying the easy upgrade for a Blooper, which is to the Blooper Nanny that’s in charge of mini (child) Bloopers, she takes on a Poison Blooper form to gain an asset in power. This also made her feel like a portable Gooper Blooper in my mind, because Sunshine, why not?

Bombkin the Bob-omb / Tail Bob-omb (Orange): The only holiday themed character and I still have no idea why I went that route, but this is a pumpkin styled Bob-omb! His fuse is green to mimic a stem, his eyes are yellow to mimic candlelit eyes of a jack-o-lantern, his main body is obviously orange because pumpkin, and there are additional appendages (wind-up key, feet) that are also green to continue the plant features. He has diligence but also tends to end up annoyed frequently, considering everyone telling him that he looks like a pumpkin and that his name is like a pumpkin and this is just his life really. To make matters worse, he ended up getting knocked into a Super Leaf by Goomphen, and gained the tail power-up for a Tail Bob-omb. Worse still, the coloration ended up being orange and green, only matching with his pumpkin theme and continuing his misery.

Glaucus the Buzzy Beetle / Spike Top (Gray/Grey): Oldest member of the group because they tend to be slow moving enemies and I thought that tracked well enough. Dark brown/black eyes and the gray shell give a solid calming vibe that also extends to his characterization. Including a Buzzy Beetle felt right because the species has been around since the first Super Mario Bros. game, and yet there are very few moments that they ever matter (probably because Koopas), with only one notable member of the species that I’ve found. (From Paper Mario, no less, but not a partner for Mario.) Even new forms of Buzzy Beetles feel scarce and I felt like his new form to a Spike Top was the most noteworthy option to work with, since that is also a common Mario enemy type that is mostly ignored. The idea of his unique role being shared with another ally (Spiked Goomba) felt a little funny too, since he stands out even less for lacking originality.

[marley-manson]

if you feel like it, i would very much like to see the "top 10 episodes marley doesn't care for" list. not episodes you hate, just ones you could take or leave. and not necessarily 10 if you don't want, i'm just really curious.

Ooh yeah this'll be fun, thank you! This is specifically like, episodes where I feel like I dislike them more than most of fandom, rather than known controversial episodes, or bland episodes most of fandom agrees are bland. Cut to spare others my negativity lol.

A Smattering Of Intelligence - I think this is a pretty well-liked episode since it's Flagg's proper introduction, but it's probably my least fave of Flagg's appearances. I find it a little too cartoony, and to me it almost feels like a generic satirical spy story that someone took and inserted into Mash's universe. The vibes feel off.

The Party - lol like Movie Tonight this is another episode that's so beloved I feel kinda bad for not liking it much. There's lots I do like about it (Klinger's mom!) but overall I feel like the off-screen characters are annoyingly softened and made ooc to serve an uplifting, sentimental purpose that I don't really want from Mash anyway lol. Like Margaret's divorced parents getting along for this, or Charles' parents making friends with Radar's family.

And on top of that the vibe is... again, not what I want from Mash. I don't want that sense of uncomplicatedly positive bonding outside the war. Like imo Dear Dad Three's offhand joke where everyone unanimously voted against a reunion, in which the idea of a ten year MASH reunion is inherently laughable, is miles better than this episode in its entirety to me.

Bug Out - some good moments, some great jokes, but the army good vibes are infuriating to me. Potter's "If the U.S. army wants land, we just take it!" in a totally uncritical, ha ha funny context; the end where the US beating back North Korea is played for triumph complete with military remix of the theme... bad stuff.

April Fools - I definitely see the appeal of the squad teaming up together, but unfortunately this episode failed to capitalize on it, and I hate the premise immensely. I'm sure it's intended as a simple "lol the prankers become the prankees!" reversal but Potter enlisting his war buddy to prank the draftees (and Margaret) by making them think they're going to get court martialed and sent to prison for insubordination is just not my idea of fun shennanigans lol, which makes the tone of this very incongruent and awkward. Plus more making fun of Klinger, plus Hawkeye's epic prank finale sucked and we all know he could and would do a lot better than that if he had nothing to lose. It's fun if you totally ignore the lighthearted tone and take it for the mindfuck it is though lol.

Movie Tonight - I mentioned it already but yeah, it feels like the actors rather than the characters and that's not a vibe I enjoy personally, it has its moments but it's kind of awkward and unfun to me overall.

Hey Look Me Over - I've talked about this at greater length before but yeah it's like, I definitely appreciate the sentiment of a story where a not conventionally attractive woman wins a dude over with her personality, but I don't think it accomplished what they were aiming for. To me it made Hawkeye seem like a saint for changing his mind about her after getting yelled at for friendzoning her lol, and I don't think Kellye came across well in it compared to all her much cooler brief appearances. Nice that she tells us she sings and tapdances, but I'll take watching her smoke a cigar over that any day.

Who Knew - boo hiss, I've complained about it before at length. I know a few other people who also dislike it but overall it seems to be taken pretty uncritically in fandom and it shouldn't be, frankly.

As Time Goes By - the whole concept of the capsule is bad, it would've been bad even if Hawkeye filled it with subversive jokes, but then it was taken seriously as a poignant symbol of the army... woof.

The Price - I don't think this is beloved by fandom by any means, but it flies under the radar when by rights it should be hated imo. As perfect as Hawkeye is in this episode, Potter and the war hero's storyline is one of the worst subplots of the show, and I'm not qualifying that with an 'imo.'

Taking The Fifth - I had a hard time coming up with one more lol which just goes to show how good Mash is, but I went with this because I think most fans generally enjoy it and find it fun but I dislike it. I don't hate hate it, but like, Potter and Klinger's subplot is obnoxious, Hawkeye's plot is obnoxious and I hate the pathetic failed womanizer thing, and it's my go-to example of the kind of gay jokes that don't appeal to me nearly as much as the satirical seasons' jokes.

[firefield]

*REVIEW*

David Bowie - Divine Symmetry (2022)

A Journey To Hunky Dory

The subtitle to this project is perfect, and listening through this 5+ hour set you really do get the sense of DB really going for something he's got fixed in his mind and heart - he just needs to shape and trim and mine all these great songs and find that final form. I tell you something - once you work through all this - all the roughness, the humor, the nervousness and charm; once you finally get to that 2021 new mix of Bewlay Brothers, with all its layers of complexity, intrigue and intricate skill, it's impossible not to marvel at the path he's cut through the jungle. It feels like a Fitzcarraldoian feat.

"After the struggle of The Man Who Sold The World, Hunky Dory was the album where I said yes, I understand what l've got to do now." - DB

The sequencing of this beautifully made box set is very well considered. The first CD is called "The songwriting demos plus" and it's filled with unheard and unreleased material - Haddon Hall demos with Bowie's new piano gift from the neighbor, hotel recordings in San Francisco to small groups of friends and journalists on the floor, DB jamming and improvising, and even scratchy acetate dubs that I cannot believe survived to even find their way here.

The second CD is "David Bowie and Friends" -

John Peel on the BBC, and it's a relatively nervous DB buoyed by his buddies and working out the kinks as Hunky Dory starts to take shape.

The third CD is more live work a few months later, also for the BBC; Sounds Of The 70's: Bob Harris, and then the previously well-booted Live Friars, Aylesbury from late September, '71 - all performed with new confidence and swagger.

The fourth CD is called "Alternative Mixes, singles and versions" the brings us up to the BOWPROMO mixes, all the singles, and the alternative new remixes of the final album stems.

The Blu-Ray ties it all together with the final and original mix of Hunky Dory - the 2015 remaster, in 96kHz/24bit stereo. Then the incredible Divine Symmetry version of Hunky Dory (no 5.1 DTS? boo!) - the new mix of Life On Mars in surround, and closing with the Bob Harris show in jaw-dropping quality.

So let’s get down in the weeds for anyone interested.

DISC ONE - The package opens with Tired Of My Life, a remarkable, mature and haunting composition that stands beautifully on its own, but will send the chills when you hear the chorus - recycled nearly a decade later in an entirely different context - you’ll immediately know it when you hear it. Such a fantastic choice to open with, clearly emphasizing the arching themes of Bowie’s career and the in-and-out-of-time patterns in his work. It’s interesting to me that this track and the similarly-toned Shadow Man hit the cutting room floor for a time. Make of that what you will.

How Lucky You Are follows and is a good example of the impact the piano had on DB’s compositions. It’s a nice song, and I was surprised to hear the bass and drums sounding so good for this kind of demo. The track speaks to his Brel Influences and pub hall sing-song wordless melodies he’ll continue to visit all through the glam years.

Speaking of Shadow Man, wow. Delivered at a faster tempo and a more traditionally earnest and direct fashion, it’s an arresting rear view mirror on the origins of this great song. When you hear it delivered like this it makes sense in the same soup with Quicksand and Bewlay Brothers. As I mentioned, it’s wild to me that DB needed this one to sit and marinate for awhile. I wasn’t fully aware how often DB did this until after he passed, but he always seemed comfortable leaving great songs alone to let their flavor develop until he felt it was their time to be interpreted properly. It’s like he knew the song didn’t have to seduce him, but that he needed to grow into the song and do the seducing himself to make it come alive.

And next up is a fun, very non-Arnold Corns version of Looking For A Friend that I had no idea existed. Just excellent hearing the bass so up front from Ian Ellis.

Also firmly in the “I can’t believe this exists” category is two recordings of David solo and his 12 string in a San Francisco hotel room *jamming* out a long version of Waiting For The Man - the only solo recording of it that exists - and complete with improvisations both vocally and on the guitar. Priceless. Honestly, not being a huge fan of this song and DB’s propensity to want to play it live, I think this is, in fact, my favorite version I’ve ever heard. And then the earliest recorded version we have of one of David’s finest compositions, Quicksand. Some octave differences in the vocal, but basically the version we all know. I’m reminded how grateful I am that sets like this exist if only to preserve this history. Not everyone will care to hear songs like this in their infancy, recorded on basic tape recorders, or they’ll consider it a one-and-done curio to listen to and move on, but it’s worth considering this work from a legacy perspective. Find, clean, present and preserve. It matters. I still can’t get over how young DB was writing songs like this. Extraordinary.

Next up is the incredible King Of The City, solo David in the front room of Haddon Hall. Overdubbing himself on guitar and vocals - backing and doubling himself - working the two tape machines bouncing back and forth between them as he adds new layers. Good Lord. There is a hint of early Motown soul here and it’s wonderfully confident. Finding his own way indeed.

Another David solo multitracked early version of Song For Bob Dylan with DB doing all the vocals, guitars and harmonica. Really nice. David sounds about 50 and playing his heart out for a bus ticket. Amazing.

Next up is a series of nice sounding demos recorded at Radio Luxembourg Studios in London. The relatively silly Right On Mother, a wonderful solo version of Quicksand, a very laid back almost lazy doobified preglam Queen Bitch, the always sincere Kooks, a one take solo recording of Amsterdam with David singing the second and third verses in a menacing lower register, and a super gentle version of Life On Mars, solo, with DB on piano, complete with charming clunkiness, mistakes, and endless charm.

Closing out the disc, another set of “how does this exist” tracks, Changes and Bombers recorded to - get this- 7” acetate - totally fragile, totally noisy and totally solo David on piano. Absolutely unfreaking believable and pure gold.

DISC TWO is mono and stereo presentations of the June 3rd, 1971 John Peel radio show. The band opens with Queen Bitch and Bombers, both haven’t yet found their exuberance; their *teeth* yet, and they lean toward timid and new. That’s not a criticism by the way - just part of the process. You notice an immediate change as they launch into The Supermen, Looking For A Friend, and Almost Grown - played clearly with more swagger and familiarity. Nice to hear nervous David introducing Kooks, and man, what a lovely version. The band is silent, and it’s just DB and his 12-string, singing this less from the upper nasal area, and more from his Letter To Hermione/God Knows I’m Good area of the throat. Really surprised me and sounds perfect in mono.

From here on out it’s a full band affair, multiple vocalists joining in; George Underwood, Dana Gillespie, Geoff MacCormack and Mark Pritchett all taking the lead at various times during Song For Bob Dylan, Andy Warhol and It Ain’t Easy. Other than Kooks, I prefer the stereo to the mono mixes here, but nice to have them both from a legacy/preservation perspective. David’s introduction of his friend Dana before Andy Warhol is very sweet and pretty funny actually. It must warm her heart to hear it today. For what it’s worth, she *nails* her vocal, and it’s no surprise to read he wrote it specifically for her. Another welcome surprise in this box.

DISC THREE contains two more live sets - but both of these are performed after the official Hunky Dory sessions and the confidence of David and the band is palpable. Especially David’s vocals - he makes these songs now feel lived-in. He’s letting timbre and dynamics match the lyric, and everything sounds more effortless and natural. The meticulous craftsmanship is done and now it’s all heart.

Immediately blown away by the sound quality of the Bob Ross session. Apparently a start-the-tape-and-play singular take, David and Mick alone just kill it. The mic they used for David and Mick’s voices is excellent, Bowie’s piano playing has never sounded better, and the balances are just right the whole way through the show. Absolutely loving hearing Mick Ronson’s totally joyful bass playing on Kooks. He just skips all over this thing under David’s guitar - I couldn’t stop smiling. What a talent he was and a blessing for David at this time. The actual broadcast of this performance closed with the next track, a great version of Fill Your Heart, but this box set includes the unaired Amsterdam and Andy Warhol. A note here about Amsterdam: I know this track can be divisive for many fans, but I’d encourage those nonplussed by that track to try again with this performance. It’s solo David and it’s a pretty amazing rendition.

And now the Live Friars, Aylesbury late September show. It’s immediately electric feeling. By all accounts, DB wasn’t thrilled with the small handful of gigs he’d done in ‘71 and was doubting his ability to connect with audiences. It’s one of the reasons why he poured his energy into songwriting and recording. But this show feels and is pretty historic. It starts out acoustic and gradually builds the band behind him and you can absolutely feel him win over the crowd. The story he tells about his difficulties waking up in the morning and what his mother had to do to finally wake him up is appropriately Bowie-bizarre. And then after the encore, with the audience demanding more music, the band goes with Waiting For The Man, only to finish to find demand for *more* songs and DB is tapped out. Trying to tell the crowd they literally have no more songs to play, he had to literally tell them to shut up, and then politely explain that he’s done, spent, got nothing left, but would warmly welcome the chance to write new songs and come back to play them. Beautiful.

This presentation is a tricky piece of audio engineering skill, as the original 1/4” tape suffered from some mangling, bad tape splices, dropouts, etc. Preserving the integrity and continuity of the performance required some pretty wild work done and you will hear those moments. Rather than let them jump out and annoy, see them as puzzle pieces creatively cut and fitted to allow you to take in the whole picture of that moment in time. I can tell you with confidence that the work here is extraordinary.

DISC FOUR is all post HD sessions mixes and singles from the time, along with the 2021 new mixes of select tracks from the final album stems. The disc begins with the 6 track BOWPROMO LP 2022 remaster. These are early and different mixes than ended up on Hunky Dory made for a Gem not-for-sale record that had Bowie on the A-side and Dana Gillespie’s work on the B-side. Some feature entirely different vocals and soundstaging. I suppose many might not hear the differences but they are there. Queen Bitch is wonderfully unhinged in this mix, Kooks’s bass line and strings really stand out nicely, Eight Line Poem’s new vocal, Quicksand has some alternate guitar parts, and Bombers/Andy Warhol Intro (which didn’t make the cut for Hunky Dory) sounds fantastic with that cleanly defined bass and piano. The book also notes pitch and tempo corrections for Kooks and Quicksand. I suspect there are some who don’t know these are different versions and they’ll be pleasantly surprised to hear them.

Lightning Frightening surprised me here, as I am familiar with it only from the mono bonus track on the Ryko 1990 CD of TMWSTW. Here, for the first time is the full-on chugging, twangy, down-and-dirty stereo version. Holy hell. You’ve never heard it like this. Herbie Flowers on bass, Barry Morgan drums, Mark Pritchett guitar, and David blowing lots of sax and harmonica.

Amsterdam was originally set to close Hunky Dory but was bumped for The Bewlay Brothers. It was also set to close side A of Ziggy Stardust on the first pass master tape and was dropped there too - getting it’s first official release as the B-side to the Pin Ups single “Sorrow.” This first early mix is David solo with a one-pass vocal performance and triple layered 12-string guitars. Whoa. The second mix here later on the disc is the mix used for the Sorrow B-side - the 2015 remaster from the Five Years box. Changes mono single, also from the Five Years box. And then holy smokes my favorite version of Andy Warhol I’ve ever heard. I’ve always loved the mono version of this track, and here it gets a new 2022 remaster. This is a turn-it-up-to-11 track for me. Fantastic.

Next up is the wonderful stripped back 2016 Ken Scott mix of Life On Mars made for inclusion on the David Bowie - Legacy compilation album. Most of you would have heard this, but what I didn’t know was that David and Ken discussed making this new mix as far back as 1998. During this same session on April 12, 2016, the surround sound mix was completed at Abbey Road and appears on the final Blu-Ray disc in the set.

Closing up disc 4 are the new 2021 mixes - so excited to finally wrap my ears around them. For Changes, Ken is working from the masters, take number eight here, and he notes that he heard many unheard/unused parts on that take that he wanted to bring up in the mix, including a new sax solo from David. His aim here was to give Changes a contemporary modern mix feel. Headphones recommended on all these new mixes, and if you are like me and have heard the originals countless times, you’ll notice much here to marvel at.

Life On Mars uses a blend of take 5 and take 9 and allows Ken to rebuild LOM in a way that he remembers the band absolutely *loving* but had to ultimately discard due to Mick Ronson’s cursing. He explains the story in the book and I’ll leave it to you to read and hear, but wow. What a song. This mix is faithful to the original and awesome.

This version of Quicksand. Wow. Incredibly, Ken states this take four version from very early in the HD sessions was determined to be “not good enough” but on revisiting, keyed in on David’s amazing vocal. And gosh it’s really something. He approaches it from a different place - hard to describe - but his timbre and annunciation feels genuinely weary and earnest. Always with these deep dive box sets, there is something that just makes you totally miss the guy, and this was it for me. What a humble performance.

Fill Your Heart is another big surprise - this is take ten but Ken had nothing else to work with as they’d simply recorded over previous takes to save on expensive tape costs. Again keying into David’s vocal, he wipes the orchestra out completely, leaving only Rick Wakemen’s stunning piano playing and DB’s alto and tenor sax. What this does is elevate and lay bare Bowie’s animated vocal parts draped right over your ear drums. Jaw on the floor.

Bombers gets a new mix! Another big surprise. Ken writes that he knows he did a mix of this for the BowPromo EP but can’t remember recording it or mixing it - so after 50 years, loved the challenge of sitting down with these master tape stems and getting to work nailing a mix of this unique DB composition. The song was dropped from the album because it didn’t “fit” with the other material, and although unstated in the notes, to my ear anyway, Mr. Scott brings it into the Hunky Dory universe with want he chooses to emphasize and de-emphasize. I appreciate his sensitivity to honoring the time and circumstances of its recording not going wild with it. It’s solid, balanced and fits beautifully into HD. I wish David could have heard it.

Ahhh man. Wow. People often pick my brain about “favorites” and “rankings” and such things that I generally avoid when thinking about art - and one of those questions is about what I think is “underrated.” There are certainly more than a handful of tracks that would qualify, and Song For Bob Dylan would be there I think, as I listen to this wonderful new mix. I’m not sure why many seem to see this track as a throw-away of sorts - I’ve met people that assumed DB didn’t even write it - maybe it just gets lost inside an album of outstanding tracks, but I think this version here could really grab some hearts.

…and the closing track. I admit I was pretty floored and superglued to my headphones when the new mix of The Bewlay Brothers began. Immediately I realized I had not heard this track at all, in any form, over the course of this box set. Reading Ken’s notes for this song, that’s probably because David just rolled up to him late in the sessions with the old “I have this new song I’d like to do” and f*cking genius that he is, just drops this atomic bomb of a track. So it doesn’t appear that it was demoed at all - which to me is just extraordinary because it *sounds* like a track that would have a deep life of growth, revision, alteration and struggle to find its final form. But no, apparently lightening struck, and in what will prove to be a pattern in David Bowie’s recording career, time and pressure forge a diamond that seems to arrive on a flaming chariot. I could probably blab for an hour about everything happening here, and the contrast to the original mix, but perhaps it’s best to just let that go and urge a listen. I will say the tendency to simplify is probably not always the go-to choice for an audio engineer when faced with rebuilding a complex emotional track like this, but Ken has managed to actually enhance the song’s Mariana Trench of mystery through distillation and careful consideration of each and every detail. Listening through this masterpiece after all that came before, you really do understand the subtitle of this set - “A Journey To Hunky Dory.” This is such a complex and pivotal year in David’s career. He was not glowing in confidence, he was haunted by possible one hit wonder relegation (Space Oddity) as his friend Marc Bolan was basking in well-deserved attention, TMWSTW was not selling well, he was embracing and fast-learning new instruments to compose on, and reconsidering all his possible paths he could take in his life. Things were not, actually, very Hunky Dory at all. I was struck by how, in the very cool included “student note book” containing DB’s hand written notes, lyrics, scribbles, chords, pay rates and telephone numbers, how David fretted over the spelling of the album’s title. Two “R’s?” Maybe with a “e” in there? Umm yes. No? Ugh. Hunky Dory is the story of a man both lost and found.

This is too long so I won’t get too into the weeds of the Blu-Ray disc as it essentially contains higher res versions of what we’ve heard before. A super high resolution of the original mix of Hunky Dory - the final “Divine Symmetry” mix and sequence of the 2021 version, the killer sounding Bob Harris set (also at 96kHz/24 bit stereo) and the 5.1 surround presentation of Life On Mars.

For those wondering, yes the price is high, but the quality of *everything* here is top shelf. The whole package is amazing. Essays, notes, photography, paper stock, slipcase, audio quality… really can’t be improved on. Disappointments for me are few - but the glaring one is the lack of the 2021 mix in DTS-HD or Dolby Atmos surround sound. What a waste not to take the time to do that for the Blu-Ray disc. That said, I’m still 100% happy.

This is a deep dive. If you are one of those people that get annoyed at repeated tracks over the course of multiple discs and can’t hear the difference anyway, or even care, this set is not something you’d want to dump money into. Streaming for free to sate your curiosity will do the trick while you keep your money in the bank.

But if you enjoy unheard/demo Bowie in pretty astounding quality and quantity, have a particular fascination with this record and it’s evolution, or even just enjoy curling up with a coffee table quality book to read and admire unseen photography, you won’t be disappointed.

[wench-and-jezebel]

Howl’s Moving Castle Reaction:

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

Wench’s Note: the first half of this was reacting to the original.  About halfway through, we switched to the English dub.  We didn’t mark it though, so… fun ‘lil guessing game :)

Second Wench's Note: Also, the book comes up quite a bit and, while I've read the book before, it was a longggg time ago. If there are any false statements... apologies. Feel free to let me know (politely)!

– – –

Welp… Title already makes sense

Mood lady! I hate hats  *sigh*  I don’t have the right head shape

She just looks so grumpy

How did she not see that guard to begin with?  

Oh shit blobs!  Tf?

Oooo he flies

Ye this is normal… Just walking on air… As one does

No– No one– NO ONE SAW THIS???  Like… THEY WERE JUST FLYING  [He probably has some kind of glamor up tbf.  Or he just… Doesn't care.]   ☠️☠️☠️☠️  [He's a bit of a show-off, tbh]  I would be too tbf if I could just fecking fly

The fucking men just be popping up everywhere

Blobssss  [Blobs]

Wait she’s the old lady right?  [Ma'am, I say nada]

Le gasp

Well… damn

Bruh.  

BRUH!  SEE IF I WOULD HAVE WAITED TWO SECONDS!!  EVERYTIMEEEEEE!!!

I feel ya, Sophie, I feellll yaaaaa

She is handling this…. Surprisingly well  [Perks of magical realism, tbh; they know wizards exist, and they know abt the witch, and-]  Fair!

Oh noooo!

☠️☠️☠️☠️ A 90 year old … You don’t say

Poor Sophie 🥺🥺🥺

MOOOOD SOPHIE!!!  ISS ME. And my kids are the witch 😭 they made me old

Ma’am… you’re old. Maybe hiking a mountain is not a good idea  [She gotta go on her trademark Studio Ghibli quest]

Le gasp! A scurrrcrow

[Did you see what he's carrying]  Well damn 🥺  [Man Scarecrow brought her a cane]  That’s wholesome

“Can you bring me a house…” And he left… Scarecrow: I gotchu ol lady

[He knows where to find her one… He done brought her a house]  😭😭😭

IT’S GONNA SIT ON HER

Oh, or not 🤣

Jumppppp Sophie

[Turnip-Head brought her her shawl :)]  💕💕💕 I love him  [You gonna love the next anthropomorphic being more]

Ooooo I see fire 🙂

[In case this hasn't registered, btw... she just invaded a wizard's home.  His very feared castle.  And sat down.  And stoked the fire.]  ☠️☠️☠️ Fair

Calcifer! (Casifer 🤔😂)

Ooop she ded  [This really is you… She fell asleep mid-conversation]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️  MOOOD SOPHIEEEEE!  I feel ya boo! I feel ya

Ooooo that noooseee

A child 

I sat down and cracked like that ☠️☠️☠️ I feel like I’m resonating with this movie in the wrong way 😭☠️🤣  [Then the moral will resonate too]  I even have a shawl like that ☠️ [That... is not the moral]

So they are afraid of him but he’s not bad  [They are afraid of the Wizard Howl, yes.  BUT.  As I think is clear, they're not clear on who, exactly, Howl is]  Ahhh! I see.  Makes sense  [If you saw, Markl just answered messages for both Wizards Jenkins and Pendragon]

Giant house comes creeping down the road… I’d be scurrrd too… but I’m guessing a bit thing is not to judge by appearances

Oh damn

[Pay attention to Calcifer being cute]  I’m a DeMon…

The kids like… shit all I had to do was lay a pan on him

OH HE’SSSS HOWL  [!!!]  LE GASPPP

[Calcifer monch on eggshells :)]  THE NOISEEEE  💕💕💕💕😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣  Meh oi eh

Imma eat my steak like that! If I stop responding … Hubby killed me (Kidding)

[Did I mention Sophie is just amazing?  She legit just invaded a scary wizard's house... and told him it was filthy... to his face]  ☠️☠️☠️🤣🤣🤣  Very true

Ooooof

Just know! Now my husband’s gonna expect me to watch anime in… not English… with him. And I full blame you 😤  [GOOD]  My brain be struggling to do it all [Get good]

Ancient sorcery! The worst kind

[Calcifer get bacon :)]  Me meh mi meh

[Dang, Sophie, be nice.  Calcifer told you that you couldn't talk about it alksdfj]  Women! They never listen 🤣

Oh shit! Ok lady strength

["A witch rages within"  Poor Calcifer :(]  Poor Calcifer indeed

He fly again

Grumpy

Markl’s too cute  [Buddy, whatchu hiding?]  Also true

Uh oh.  He ain’t there to not let her get carried away

Oh SHIT IT’S THE BOYS BATHROOM

[He's so cute :)]

SCARECROW  [He's called Turnip, the Turnip-Head actually. According to Sophie.]

BRUH That seems not sturdy  [Ma'am, stop overthinking the magical castle]  Shhhh  [No]

Ahhh I seee

🥺🥺🥺  Wench this better have a happy ending ‘cause, minus the curse, it’s too happy  [Hmph.  I say nothing]  *opens google* try me Wench  [You can't multitask that much and we both know it]  *tells husband to open google* TRY ME — er, US — Wench

[Literally as we speak, you're missing that Howl is a bird]  Oh shit!  Howl is a bird!  [alkdsfjlakdf no shit]

Oh them toes

There is so much 😭😮‍💨  Sooo much happening

[You don't seem to have caught that she was young again]  I– I didn’t 😭  Is she young when she sleeps?  [She was young when he checked on her as she slept, yes.]  Bruh the witch is a biiiiitch! What kinda curse is thatttt  [I didn't say what was going on; I said it was what happened.  Shush and watch]

BLOB  [Blob]  BLOB

“AHHHHH!!!”  [You remember your prediction about Markl not paying attention when she went cleaning?]  YES- OH NOOOOO  [There ya go… I love this lil drama queen]

P- poor ☠️☠️☠️ poor howl  [And btw… when I say drama queen… ]  Buddy  [...I mean DRAMA QUEEN]  Budddy!!!!  [Man's calling on the Spirits of Darkness because of his hair dye]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️  ACk

Oooop- she’s looking younger! SO CONFUSING

[Turnip-Head brought her an umbrellaaaaaaa]

BUDDDY  [Did I mention “drama queen”?] 

Ah the rain too

Booty ☠️  [Ma'am, mind out of the gutter]  It wasn’t in the gutter.  It was on the screennnn!  [Bitch-]

[His room be prettyyyyy]  It issss.  It’s a lot though

[btw, this is the English dub for that conversation: (Sophie): "Howl, why is the Witch of the Waste trying to hunt you down?" (Howl): "She was once quite beautiful, so I decided to pursue her.  Then I realied she wasn’t, so, as usual, I ran away." For information purposes]

Hmmm, the sigh

[His hair is magical]  *Simultaneously* His hairrrr tho  [I want it]

Ooop-

THE FUCK IS THIS DOG?!?!  [I say nothingggg]  Full Metal Alchemist vibessss

OH GOSH THIS WOMAN

["Thanks to him, I've become a cleaning lady"  Bitch, that was either the Witch's fault or your own decision; you just kinda... announced it to Howl]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️  Right?!

Blobbbssss  [Blobs go bye-bye]  Blobs blobbed

Poor dog [*simultaneously* Poor pupper]  Is struggling  [SBC]  He’s like halpppp

Tf [Who carries a dog like that tho 😭]

The guardsss

I’m dying.  Well, actually THEY are dying.  Im laughing.  

That’s just not normal

[SHE SAID WENCH!  SHE USED MY NAME IN VAIN!]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

That would be me tho… Im tired for them  *sigh*

[Ma'am be lying to the Witch of the Wastes]

Ooooooof  [Feels bad.  Like... she's awful but also :(]

She is saying she is his mother? …  [Yeah, that's their strategy.  Well, Howl's strategy]  Ackles movie vibessss  [Ma'am, shush]  I can’t think of the name  [Devour.  But also no]  My brain has too many tabs open

Well damn  [:(]

[Sophie is awesome]  YESSS  [The pupper's eyes tho alkdsjf]

She be getting younger  

Ooop- Fangirl  [The Witch is also pathetically adorable alksdjf]

Oooop I might understand the curse now

[Oof- That bluff went badly]  ☠️☠️

Howl!

WHATS HAPPENING!  [That was the King.  The current plotline is that the King is demanding Howl (as Howl, as Jenkins, and as Pendragon) report for, essentially, a magical draft to fight in the war.  (This is magical realism, so magic is kinda commonplace.)  The first version of the King has been revealed to be Howl trying to bluff his way out of the war without breaking his oath to report when needed.  This got broken because a) she knew who he was already but b) the real King walked in and was like.  Hey.  Good?]  Yes! 🙂 thank you lool!

The dark hair’s nice tho  [I knowwwwww]  Noooo the witch ☠️☠️

This shit is crazyyyyyy  [Welcome to Studio Ghibli]  Fucking animeeeeee  [I'm now making you watch Spirited Away btw]

[Parallels to their first meetinggggg]  True lol

Ooooo scurrryy

They fly  [Many times]

Dog said he's out too

Oooo such a scurry demon... gets summoned with the heart  [OH SHIT THE MEANING TO THAT!!!  I'll explain later]

The fucking witch in the back thooo…  Just smiles

Ma'am, you know she's not his mom... stahp  [You really were scarred by Devour, huh?]  Yes

[They destroying his door :(]

[Markllllll  He’s so cute]

Bruh [Poor Calcifer :(]  The house just ate them.  I’m ded

That’s adorable…  Also, she younger!   Not young, but younger

So, is emotion a factor?

Ooooop-  She very young.  [Yup, even when awake]  She young and he's a bird… Ladyhawke vibes

🥺  [He has a nest]

[BRUH LKDSJF;LAKDSJF THAT WAS BATMAN.  Like, I knew English version was Christian Bale, but that was Batman]  It is loool… except bird man

Wait, Calcifer sounds familiar too  [He's Mike Wazowski, I think.  iirc]  Le gasp!

Double le gasp!  My emojis!  I cannot use them!

The- The house.  Has.  A tongue.

[BRUH THE MEANING!  Okay, I’ll explain shit later.]

So is she just.... good now?  [Her deal with the demon possessing her was broken… So kinda]  Ahhh

Sir!  He's so happy!  [I love him in this scene.  He's pretty :)]

THIS!  I love this scene! 

Jumpscare

Well damn

But also like… If the witch that cursed Sophie is now kinda irrelevant, how does the curse get broken?

[He made her her own shop :)]

Ooop- The voice changes are giving me whiplash  [It's helping you keep track of her age tho]

BUT HOW DOES THE CURSE GET BROKEN?!  [Bitch, just watch… HE MADE HER A WHOLE LOCATION OKAY PAY ATTENTION TO THE SWEETNESS]  I AMMM 💕💕😭😭

And young again

Kay 😍

His fucking hair length changes as much as her voice.  And appearance  [IT'S ALL MAGIC; JUST SHUSH]

[This be concerning buddy.  It feels like giving away your possessionssss]  😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢  (I found the emojis)  [Did I mention that all of my faves are apparently concerningly risky with themselves]  Maam your type... is concerning  [Shhhh.  I'm sure it doesn't mean anything]  Mhhmmmn

[Howl, buddy.  You won't fight in the war, but you just... fought in the war.]

Ooooop-

Tf???  Flying tadpoles  [The entities in these films are awesomely weird okay?  Like These Dudes (below)]  Awwwwww

Sophie, why are you pedaling, ma’am

Awwww

[ALSKDJF;LSAKFDJ THE MEANING!!!  Remind me to explain]  Ok lol

She gonna die… She's become too likable.  *Sighhhh*

Oh damn I thought they were sisters 💀  [I thought they were.  I think they were in the book.  It might be a nickname]  They were in the other verison

[She better not have hurt Calcifer :(  I forget if she did but.]

Le gasp  Well DAMN!  The bitch!  [I think her husband was a hostage, ma'am]  Aaaand? hmph

Awwwwwwwwww my heart

Bruh  [Oh shit she does seem to have hurt Calcifer :(]  Her whole personality changed  [She lost the demon, woman, so no wonder]  Yeah, but she was being so nice. What changed?  I thought losing the demon made her nice  [Oh, I see... Just... file it under things to discuss in endpoint if not answered]  Ok lol

[Blobs]  Blobs

Ooooof they are gonna have strange babies  [Ma'am, he's not actually a bird]

["You're alive!"  Shades of Westley/Buttercup: "If you want I could fly!"]

[She just put the cigar out on his handddd  😭]  Right?!?!

Edddieeeeee vibeessssss [*simultaneously* EDDIE-CODED :(  Okay, actually.  Fuckkkkkkkk maybe not SPN fusion.  Maybe ST fusion.]  😭😭😭😭😭😭  [I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes]  Well fuck now that songs stuck in my head  [adslfjaldskfj good]

Oh shit  ["Looks like Howl's in trouble" My dear, when is he not?]

["I preferred him as a coward"  *sigh* Don't we all?  (That's Steve's "Don't be cute")] 😭😭😭 Stapppp I cantttt  [*This* one has a happy ending tho]

I'm soooooooo confused with the witch lady  [I’ll explain (I think)]

Oh shit  [Moving castle go bye bye :(]  😭😭😭😢 Welp  Encanto vibes  [KLJALKDSJFLAKSFDJ HOW DARE]

This movie has fucjing unlocked umpteen fic ideas  [I KNOW]

This girl is gonna get him ded  [I'm saying nothing]  Le Gasp!  (Also gaddamnnnn this tablet)

[Calcifer et her hair to be stronggggg.]  Noooo the pecs!  When he was lifting the wood  [What is it with fictional haircuts being so cool, f'real] I knowwwww

Oooop-

[Poor Howl :(]

Well damn  [There's so much symbolism I'm gonna cry]

Like.... Maybe it's just me but I would have let her burn  [asdflkjaldskfj]  🤷‍♀️

[Pupper still doing stuff]

Um.  “What if I killed Howl?” They BOTH told you it would.  I caught it even in a different language.  Wot do you meannnn?!  [Trueeee]  Also gotta love how she doesn't care she killed Calcifer just that she might have killed Howl  [alskdfj]

[This be Very Important btw]

He’s gotta pee lady

[Oh look it's the Supernatural season 8 finale]  ☠️☠️☠️

Oooop- [He monch the star]  The wheeze tho  [From him or the dog ☠️]  The dog ☠️☠️

["Find me in the future"  Remember how the first thing he said to her was "I've been looking everywhere for you?"  :)]  Yeasssss

[Howl be not looking so good]

Burujhhhhh them feettttt!  That was meant to be spelled bad ‘cause… damn

[These scenes were very different in the book, btw; tell you at endpoint]

That.  That was easier than expected.  ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

[Honestly, I still feel like SPN would work better, but I could do a ST one-shot from just that other scene]

[No fuckkkkk but the SPN vibes are killing me; explain later]

Awwwww  [Calcifer be so happy :)]

[Turnip saved them!]  Yusssss  [But he not responding :(]  Nooooooo

Ahhhhh… yussssss again!

[Ma'am, it's not the heart that’s so heavy; you're sitting on him ☠️]

Well damn

“Big boy”  [LAJSD;LFKJADF]

[Doggo betrayed evil witch woman :)]

The wheezing

New meaning to the phrase “Hot lips”

Awwwww

[Oh my god my head is killing me with the fic planning... I'ma be ranting later] Yesssss

– – –

Jezebel: OH SWEET IPHONE DISCORD I MISSED YIU

Wench: Your typing Has Not Improved 

Jezebel: YOU KJOWBWHAT? 🖕🏼

Wench: You prove my point  (For those not aware of the editing process, btw, I do a cursory spell/punctuation check as we go most times, as much as I can do without falling behind.  The above^ would be a lot more common if I didn’t.  Y’all are welcome!)  ANYWAY.  Endpoint

Jezebel: That was adorable!!! I may just rewatch fully in English ☠️☠️☠️  And by may… I will ☠️🤣🤣  Eventually

Wench: asldkjfalkdsfj

Jezebel: But the fic possibilities are endlessssss omg

Wench: TSCH!  Ma'am, that's reserved for not-endpoint-reaction!! No spoilers!

Jezebel: I knowwwww.  Was just saying!  But omg ok explain the bipolar witch please!  Cause the amount of things that gave me whiplash in this movie… Were a many

Wench: I mean, I think her personality was just… shifting. She'd lost the demon, so she wasn't as corrupted by power, but she was still questing for Howl's heart. I do think that her proximity to power restored her a bit to her earlier self (and when she was smoking the cigar she apparently got from Suliman), which is why you noticed her being a bit more her at times when she was near Howl… but it's all within her normal character

Jezebel: Ok fair!

Wench: As for the things I was saying I'd explain now, btw... They keep foreshadowing the reveal about his heart.  Like, there are blatant bits (e.g. her earlier note saying something along the lines of "You who swallowed a falling star, o' heartless man, your heart shall soon be mine.")  But there were smaller things.  Like the Witch being so focused on Calcifer, talking so regularly about "oh, what a pretty fire."  I'm sure it was partly because the fire *was* pretty, but when you know that she was questing for Howl's heart, it's got a second layer.

Jezebel: Ooooo! I thought it was just her being old and senile ☠️

Wench: Also, the heart reveal renders other things increasingly significant too.  Like the metaphors of the Witch trying to get at his heart, and it burning her when she tried... something something she tried to steal his heart and control it but it didn't work, whereas Sophie had been connecting with it from the very beginning. Or him telling Sophie that the way to get HIS RING to work and lead her home was to call out to Calcifer with her heart... Which was his heart... Connect the dots :)

Jezebel: Oooooooooh 💕💕💕🥺🥺

Wench: Also, an interesting thing... Like I said, the book is quite different.  It's one of the few adaptations, actually, that changes A Bunch about the original story but I just... can't be that mad about it.  Because the story isn't the same, but it's awesome anyway.  

Jezebel: Ooooh? Interesting :)

Wench: Yup!  And one such example is that they explicitly state what's going on with Sophie.  Sophie isn't just this ordinary girl. Or, well... She is, but she isn't.  She was a hatter, like in the film, and she usually talked to the hats.  It's explained that she would tell them what their owners would be like as she made them.  (One example is when she tells a hat that its owner would have a heart of gold and someone would fall in love with them for it)

Jezebel: That’s adorable thoooo

Wench: And whatever she said would come true.  But she was also highly determined to be the Eldest Daughter. Which means she'd stay at home, tend to the business, never ever ever seek any adventure, etc.  So she has this magic... and nonetheless sets about using it to have nothing happen to her ever, quite without knowing it.

Jezebel: Ack!  So the exact thing she doesn’t want is exactly what happens ☠️☠️🤣🤣

Wench: Precisely!  And that magic is the explanation for a lot of what goes on in the story.  It's why the scarecrow comes to life, for example.  And it's also the reason she's able to separate Howl/Calcifer without either dying.  In the book, she asks if she can separate them and Calcifer says that he thinks he'd die if anyone else did it, but he knows she's talked life into things before so, if anyone could do it, she could.  And she outright says "Have another thousand years" before pinching them apart so Calcifer will survive.

Jezebel: So the scarecrow’s not a prince in the book?

Wench: I don’t think so.  The scarecrow and the prince are two separate entities, and the prince has a far more gruesome fate.  I don’t fully remember enough to say more, but I’m pretty sure they’re separate.  She talks them both to life, though, so in that sense, it kinda works.

Jezebel: Ooooop! Well damn! I see!  Oh, and, as for endpoint… Ummmmm I have forgotten how to endpoint.  Halp!

Wench: Give thoughts.  Did you like it?

Jezebel: Ummm I LOVED it.   It was so gooooood!

Wench: Aight… Elaborate on that :) 

Jezebel: And cute and confusing sometimes but also sad and then happy.  Also why was he a bird man?  I think I missed that part

Wench: It was just one of his spells.  It helped him fight the largely air-based battle.  But it was an anthropomorphic spell, and he ran the risk of not recalling how to switch back each time he did it

Jezebel: Ohhhhh.  Ummmm… Did it ever explain Sophie’s cure being broken or was it ever broken?

Wench: Ah, right, so… complicated.  First off: the Witch's deal with the demon thing was basicallyyyyy that she got the power to cast curses but couldn't uncurse them.  Or at least, I think that's it, and that's how I've interpreted it.  So she couldn't change Sophie back.  I thinkkk, in large part, Sophie was eventually talking herself into the curse.  Like I said --- and as she's shown in the movie --- she's very doubtful and not-confident throughout the story… And she also had this magical power that let her control reality, within reason.  So, basically, she was expecting herself to be an old woman, and thus she was.  That's why she was young whenever she wasn't consciously focused on the fact that "oh, yeah, I'm old" (e.g. while she was asleep, when she'd woken up but was more focused on what was going on with Howl and his nest than what he was doing, etc).  And whenever she feels more confident/less like she's not worth much, the spell wanes further.  So, whenever the Markl calls her "family," whenever she's dwelling on love for Howl, etc.  And then, at the end, she's still got the silver hair because technically she's still cursed (or, at least, that's how I interpret it), but she's confident in who she is/where she's going/who she's with, so she's perpetually talking herself out of the curse.

Jezebel: Ahhh! Ok that makes sense! I was like…. Have they forgotten ma’am is cursed ☠️🤣

Wench: Also, bit of fun fact, parallel, etc…  Howl tells her, at the end, that her hair is like starlight.  And Calcifer was a falling star who was holding custody of his heart.  So Sophie at the end of the movie is the new bearer of his heart  😭

Jezebel: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 Awwwwww

Wench: I love this movie alskdjflkasjfd

Jezebel: It is veryyyyy goooood

Wench: Any more to say for endpoint?

Jezebel: Honestly not that I can think of! But I did love it!! 💕💕💕💕😭😭😭

Wench: Aight... what's next on our react schedule, you think?

Jezebel: Hmmmmm 🤷🏻‍♀️ 🤣🤣

Wench: Bitch, I just sent the excel!  You don’t pick one, I will.  And you likely won’t like it.

Jezebel: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Ummmmm… DA?

Wench: Aight, folks, you heard her!  ‘Til then!

[gatheryourpearls]

Hi buddy,

How's heaven today? I'm sitting in the spot you used to lay and I can't help but think of you and miss you.

I spoke about you to some good friends... they didn't get it. It seemed like they couldn't understand how pawps and I could derive so much pain and grief from the loss of a "pet." I tried explaining how you were more of family than a pet...but, they didn't get it.

What a shame. They've not experienced a love like we have for a four legged family member.

I think you'd be proud of me for how I stood my ground and held my friends' attention hostage as I tried to explain to them the intimate bond that can be formed between dogs and ourselves.

Anyhow, it was kind of nice to speak about you. To hear your name roll off my tongue and know that your name has and always will carry weight and deep meaning for me.

My friend shared something kind of profound. He shared that a lesson he's learned in loss is that when you miss that being, you surround yourself with people who remember them as well...you will notice that those people likely have traits that remind you of them or they can help commiserate in the missing of that person. I guess that makes sense why I kept staring at Parker yesterday.

Oh! I forgot to tell you (-lol, as though you'd be reading this) but the missing stray dog found her way back home. Apparently she's an escape artist who escapes frequently, or so we've heard...I'm glad she made it back home. It did heal some wounded part of me after all, I guess.

Pawps and I and your sister will being going on our first out of town trio without you. I hope that you understand... infact I know you do... it's just hard not to feel guilt for enjoying life after you. I'm working on that.

I love you, Boo. Goodnight or good morning or good-eternity, wherever you are in heaven. We miss you and speak of you often, but I'm sure you know that.

Love you so much little guy. You're so smart. You're so handsome. You're so kind. I love you. *Kisses*

[xjoonchildx]

greedy | myg x reader | chapter five: do we look like recruiters to you?

summary: being a loner has never bothered yoongi until now.  until you.

pairing: yoongi x reader

genre: mafia AU, pining, eventual smut

rating: 18+

word count: 6.7K

notes:  thank you all so much for rolling with the changes to my posting schedule. it’s been a while since i posted an update and i really wanted to give you guys a chapter. plus it makes more sense, in my mind to break it out like this.  in this chapter, you’ll notice that ko starts calling OC “jagiya.” thank you to the korean reader who brought to my attention that my previous nickname for her didn’t fit as well as this one! 

anyway, you guys make me endlessly happy with your feedback on this story. i’d love to hear what you think of this chapter.  beta read by @hobi-gif​ because i would wither away without her analysis. also beta’d by the awesome @btsarmy9593​ who has been so awesome to give me her feedback. thank you to @augustbutwinter​ for the words of encouragement. and of course, the boos @ladyartemesia​ and @untaemedqueen​ pitched in to help me in this journey as well.

Chapter 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | EPILOGUE

*************************

Min Yoongi wakes up with a problem.  Well a few problems, actually.

The first is that he has to pee.

The second is the head-to-toe pain that starts to register the moment his sluggish brain kicks into gear.  He starts from the bottom -- gingerly wiggling his toes, carefully stretching his legs -- and slowly works his way up, taking mental inventory of what hurts and what doesn’t.

A lot of shit is landing on the hurts list right now.

The third problem -- and perhaps the most pressing -- is the problem pressing into his side right now.

Your hair is still damp.

Yoongi noses into it and lies in the quiet for a while, breathing you in while you sleep.  You smell like his shampoo and his soap.  You’re wearing his t-shirt and basketball shorts.  You are covered in him; fitted to him.  Solid and warm and real.

Which brings him to his next problem.  

This is the kind of feeling that’s way too easy to become addicted to.  The kind of feeling that makes you do stupid shit.  Take away the mangled body and the looming safety concerns and this is easily the best morning of his life.

That’s why when you stir and burrow a bit deeper into his side, Yoongi ignores the pain radiating from his sore ribs.  He ignores the way his arm has fallen asleep under you, ignores the intermittent buzzing of his phone from the nightstand warning of missed texts.

He ignores the tiny voice in his head that says don’t get attached to this feeling.

Yoongi ignores everything but you and this because right now, it’s the only thing he wants to think about.

And then he’s drifting off again.

***************************

This time, Yoongi wakes up alone.

The deep steadying breath he takes while he’s trying to work up the nerve to get out of bed hurts like hell.

Everything hurts like hell, actually -- the back of his head where he can feel scrapes left behind by the brick wall, his jaw from where he took that driller to the face.  His knee from where he jammed it into that fucking goon’s stomach.  

But his shoulder is what’s really fucking everything up right now.

He can’t remember telling you where to find the sling or how you got it on.  Can’t remember you positioning his pillows around his injured arm or slipping into bed beside him.  He’d been so fucked up by the pain and the adrenaline withdrawal that he’s pretty sure he blacked out at some point.  

So Yoongi lies there for a minute, trying to piece together what he can remember of last night.  

The memories come back to him blurred and disjointed, out of order.

He remembers feeling like he might vomit when you shoved his shoulder back into place.  Awkwardly accepting your help taking off his jeans so he could shower.  Nearly falling to his knees under the hot water.  Pulling himself together long enough to stash his gun in a drawer when you’d stepped away.

And it’s that last memory that makes his chest go tight.

Last night, hiding his gun seemed like the right thing to do.  A way to keep you separate from the ugliness he normalized a long time ago.  But this morning the half-assed lie of omission makes him feel guilty as hell.  A pathetic attempt to delay the inevitable.  Chewing gum jammed into the crack of a dam.

He has to tell you about that gun.

So he gets to work on dragging his ass out of bed.  It takes him way too damned long to sit upright, way too damned long to slide himself off the edge of the mattress.  Longer than that to slowly limp his way into the bathroom where he pees for what feels like a solid ten minutes.

He’s still rubbing the sleep from his eyes when he spots the bright red toothbrush sitting in the cup on his sink.  

It’s just some cheap throwaway he brought home after his last visit to the dentist -- a long-forgotten backup that’s been stashed in the cabinet under the bathroom counter for months.  But now it’s sitting out in the open, in that cup. Right next to his own blue one.

Yoongi stares at it and scrubs a hand over his face.

And that tiny voice in his head gets a bit louder.

************************

He finds you seated at his piano, bare-faced and hair tousled.  Fingers tracing light patterns across the keys of his custom instrument, gaze taking in all of the tiny details he paid a small fortune for.

He could have stayed there for a while, just appreciating the view had you not caught him staring.

Your dark eyes flick up to find his and Yoongi’s pulse quickens at the warmth in them.  At the soft, shy smile that comes over you just before you clear your throat and lower your eyes back to the keys.

“Beautiful,” you sigh.  

No kidding, Yoongi thinks.

He crosses the room slowly.  Tries his hardest not to limp but the throb in his knee makes that nearly impossible.  Sadness flashes across your face as you watch him sink heavily onto the bench beside you.  

“I can help you, you know,” you admonish softly.

Yoongi shrugs, motioning to the sling.  “You already have.”

He stills when you reach one hand out to brush your fingertips across the redness on his jaw.  You stroke your thumb across his aching cheek and Yoongi leans into the touch, savoring the feeling of your skin against his.

“Yoongi,” you whisper, “I’m so sorry you’re hurt, and -- ” you pause to shake your head sadly,  “-- and I’m so sorry it’s because I put you in this position.”

Yoongi sucks in a deep breath.

He can’t bring himself to tell you that he can’t think straight when he imagines what could have happened if that fucking goon had gotten you alone.  Can’t bring himself to admit out loud that he could have pulled his gun and ended that piece of shit without losing a second of sleep.  

Would have, had you not been there.

“Better me than you, Doc,” he says thickly.  “You made the right call.”

You press a gentle kiss to his throbbing jaw.

“You still mad at me?”

You whisper the words into the shell of Yoongi’s ear and a slow heat builds in his gut.  

“Yeah,” he lies, dropping a kiss on the delicate skin below your jaw.  He ghosts the tip of his nose against the curve of your neck and you shudder under his touch. He’s forced to check himself, leaning back for a few inches of badly-needed space.  

On the bright side, at least his dick isn’t broken, too.

He clears his throat.  “If that guy had brought backup -- ”

“ -- If that guy had brought backup, he’d have been out of the car long before you left his buddy in a pile on the floor,” you interrupt gently.

Yoongi chuckles.  “Just admit you’re terrible at following directions.”

“You happen to have your MRI results around here anywhere? I’d be interested to see what they say about that shoulder.”  

You raise one brow when Yoongi narrows his eyes at you in response.  “No? Well, then I guess I’m not the only one who’s bad at following directions.”

“Guess not,” Yoongi admits with a smile.  

Your turn your attention back to his piano, touch reverent as you slide one hand across the rich black lacquer.  

“When you first walked in, I was going to say something really dumb like do you play?” you admit with a laugh.  “But no one owns something this magnificent unless they have a passion for it.”

“Yeah, I play,” Yoongi murmurs.  “When I have two functioning arms.”

He’d intended to earn a laugh with that tease, but the joke falls flat.  Sadness creeps back into your features.

“Yoongi,” you say quietly, gaze dropping into your lap.  “I honestly don’t know what would have happened to me last night without you.  And all I can think about this morning is why?  Why did you do this for me?”

Fuck, that’s a loaded question.  

If Yoongi had the balls, he’d tell you straight up that he fell for you the moment he laid eyes on you at Songdo .  That you feel like his chance at something more.  But Yoongi doesn’t say any of that.  

Instead, he coughs up a weak white lie.

“We’re both out here flying solo Doc.  We have to look out for each other.  Besides -- ” he tips your chin up with a gentle press of his fingers and finds your dark eyes glassy with unshed tears.  “ -- I have a thing for that smart mouth of yours.”

He earns a tiny smile from you then, just the slightest curve of your lips.  And he’s this close to kissing the soft, sad expression right off your face when that voice in his mind fucks everything up again.

Tell her about the gun.  

The thought is like a bucket of cold water over his head, jarring him from the intimacy of this moment.  Yoongi swallows thickly before opening his mouth to tell you the truth.  But before he can speak, you do.

“I have something of yours,” you say, reaching into the pocket of your borrowed basketball shorts.  Yoongi watches you produce a worn handmade bracelet and holds his palm open to accept it.  “It fell out of your jacket last night,” you explain.

He rubs his thumb over the smooth metal corners of the cross that dangles from aged leather.  It brings back the memory of his baptism -- of the day Mrs. Bak proudly gifted it to him while he was still damp from the ceremony.  It also brings back the memory of last night -- when he’d clutched it between his fingers and sent a silent plea for protection skyward.

It’s been a long time since he’s prayed.  It’s been a long time since he had anything to pray for.

“Are you religious?” you ask softly.

Yoongi shakes his head.  “Honestly? I don’t know.”  A self-conscious heat creeps up his neck.  “Just makes me feel better, I guess.  Is that dumb?”

“No,” you reassure quietly, bringing one warm hand up to cup his cheek.  Yoongi covers your hand with his, laces his fingers in between yours.  “Not dumb at all.”

Tell her about the gun.

“Doc,” Yoongi whispers thickly, “We need to talk about something.”

Your hand falls away from his face and your spine goes stiff with tension and Yoongi almost loses his nerve.

Almost.

“Okay, so I was, uh -- carrying a gun last night,” he starts, rubbing awkwardly at the back of his neck,  “I carry a gun all the time, actually.  I hid it because I didn’t want to freak you out.”

You say nothing, expression unreadable.  And Yoongi keeps talking.

“But I don’t want to keep things from you,” he says quietly.  “I want you to know exactly who I am. No half-truths.”

Your eyes drop back down to the piano.  You pluck at one of the keys and a somber note rings out, lingers in the air between you before you speak.

“You have a gunshot wound in your back, Yoongi,” you murmur.  “It’s not exactly a leap of logic.  Besides, I already saw your gun.  It was in your drawer last night when I got you a change of clothes.”

Yoongi nods slowly, processing the fact that you’d discovered the gleaming silver piece and hadn’t written him off right away.  You’d still slept in the crook of his arm last night.  You’re still here right now.

“And yeah, maybe it does freak me out a bit,” you admit.  “But after what I saw last night, maybe I can understand a bit, too.”

Yoongi lets go of the breath he’s been holding and takes your hand in his.  Maybe is as good as he could have hoped for at this point.  Maybe is not a dead end.  

“I have something to tell you, too,” you admit after a moment.  “I’m due at the hospital in a few hours.”

“Doc,” Yoongi groans, hand tightening reflexively around yours.  “You can’t go back there.”

“I don’t have a choice,” you insist, pulling away.  “This isn’t just some job I fell into, Yoongi.  This is years of my life.”

Yoongi is quiet for a few seconds, willing his rising agitation to subside.  He’s careful to check his tone before he speaks.

“You’re not safe there.”

“I have to go back.  I don’t have a choice,” you repeat.  “I can’t afford to get blacklisted and Lee is still my boss. And if he’s already got wind of what happened last night, he’s going to be gunning for me even harder than he already has been.  I have to tread carefully.”

Yoongi shoves a hand through his hair.

“You have to meet me in the middle here, Doc,” he exhales.  “There’s got to be something halfway between you walking right back into that hellhole and you losing your job.  Take a couple of sick days.  Give me some time to figure out who your boss is working with and what I can do about it.  Can you do that?”

You’re quiet for a moment as you consider his proposal.

“Yeah,” you concede softly.  “I can do that.”  

You lift a hand to brush a lock of hair out of his face and press your mouth to his.

Every cell in Yoongi’s body stands at attention.  He cards his fingers into the soft mass of your hair and kisses you slowly -- carefully -- all too aware of the way he’d manhandled you last night.  

Not even the pain in his jaw could take away from how good it feels to touch you like this.  Not even the ache in his ribs could stop him from leaning into you. He slips his tongue past your lips and you whimper, fingers curling into his sore knee.  

He could not give a shit.

Yoongi leaves your mouth to trail kisses down your jaw, and you tip your head back, offering him the soft expanse of your neck.  He accepts it gladly, mouth hot and open on your skin, savoring your scent and taste -- enjoying the way he can feel your pulse fluttering wildly under his lips.

He’s enjoying it all so much that he gets careless.  The elbow of his injured arm connects with the sharp edge of the piano and he recoils instantly.

“Dammit,” he groans. “Fuck.”

“Oh, shit,” you gasp, clapping a hand over your mouth.

The pain is so potent it seems to radiate all the way from his arm to his temples. Yoongi squeezes his eyes shut as he waits for the ringing in his ears to subside.

“Yoongi, your shoulder, it's -- it’s really bad,” you admonish quietly.  “If you keep going like this, the damage is going to be permanent.”

“Trust me, I know,” he sighs.  “I’m going to get this looked at, I just haven’t.”

“I want you to see a friend of mine at Asan today,” you urge.  “He’s a good doctor.  He can get you some pain relief.  Get you back to working condition.”

Yoongi nods weakly, pain still ebbing from his arm.

“But it’s not a substitute for an MRI and it’s not a substitute for surgery,” you warn.  “This is just a temporary fix.  You have to be careful.  Whatever you’re planning, just please be careful.”

Yoongi skates the pad of his thumb over your lips before kissing you just one more time.

“Don’t worry about me, Doc,” he murmurs.  “I’m going to have some help.”

**************************

It’s amazing what a pair of high-powered steroid shots and a bottle of industrial-strength painkillers can do for a guy.  

Yoongi pulls into the parking lot at Maekju feeling almost human again.

If the text messages that have been blowing up his phone all afternoon are any indication, everyone is here tonight.  Everyone with the exception of Namjoon, of course.  He doesn’t drink anymore and even when he did, he always preferred to drink alone.

Jungkook is the first person Yoongi spots, leaned up against a pool table, beer in hand.  He’s watching Jimin and Taehyung face off at billiards while Seokjin and Hoseok sit side-by-side at the bar, deep in conversation.

The maknae’s eyes go a bit wide when he takes in Yoongi’s unusual gait and immobilized arm.

“Holy shit, hyung,” he breathes as Yoongi approaches.  “What the hell happened to you?”

Seokjin whips around in his barstool at the sound of Jungkook’s greeting, but Hoseok doesn’t take the bait.  He stiffens in his seat but refuses to turn around. Stubborn bastard.

“Yoga accident,” Yoongi mutters, stepping up to the bar next to Seokjin.  The older man smirks as he takes a long pull of his beer.

“How’d you drive with that thing on?” Seokjin asks, motioning to Yoongi’s sling.

“Carefully,” Yoongi says dryly.  “Listen, can you give me a minute with Jung here?”

Seokjin’s critical gaze bounces back and forth between Yoongi and Hoseok, who is still resolutely pretending not to notice the conversation taking place just inches from his face.  He stares into a television mounted high above the bar and sips his whiskey with feigned indifference.

“You two need couple’s counseling, I swear,” Seokjin groans, rolling his eyes. He stands to his feet to relinquish his barstool and claps a hand over Yoongi’s good shoulder.  “I’ll leave you to it, then.”

Hoseok, the fucking infant, grabs a newspaper abandoned on the bartop and proceeds to pretend to read it.  Yoongi slides into the stool next to him anyway.

“Miss me?”

Hoseok doesn’t answer.

“You’re not gonna say hello?  Not gonna ask me why it looks like I spent all night falling off a cliff?”

“Nope.”

Yoongi waves off the bartender who starts walking in his direction.  The last thing he needs is a drink.  He’s got so many painkillers in his system right now that one sip of booze would probably have him under the bar in seconds.

“Come on Hoseok,” Yoongi sighs.  “Don’t be a dick.  I’ve literally never seen you read a newspaper.”

“I like to stay informed,” Hoseok shrugs.

“Well, I’m trying to talk to you.”

“Oh, so you talk to me now?” Hoseok snickers.  “That’s new.”

Hoseok’s probably earned the right to his petulance, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying.  Yoongi starts to reconsider that drink.

“Jung,” he groans.  “I’m trying to apologize here.”

“So apologize then.”

“Fine,” Yoongi mutters.  “I’m sorry I’ve been an asshole lately.  I’ve been twisted up over some shit that has nothing to do with you or family business.”

Hoseok grabs his whiskey off the bar and finally -- finally -- pivots to face him.

“A giant asshole,” he corrects dryly.  

“Yes. A giant asshole,” Yoongi repeats.  “We good now?”

Hoseok sips his whiskey slowly, eyes narrowed at Yoongi over the lip of his glass.

“Buy me a drink.”

“Fine,” Yoongi hisses, flagging the bartender.  

Hoseok leans back in his barstool, looking a bit smug.

“Now this shit you’ve been twisted up about,” he starts, brow cocked.  “Would this have anything to do with your secret doctor friend?”

“Maybe,” Yoongi admits, scratching at the back of his neck.  His injured shoulder is tired from carrying the extra weight of the sling.  He rolls it gingerly as Hoseok looks on.

“Would this have anything to do with why you look like you got jumped on your way in here tonight?”

Yoongi’s cheeks warm at his partner’s blunt observation.  “Maybe.”

Hoseok drains his whiskey just as the bartender arrives with a fresh one.  He takes a long drink before setting his glass back down on the bar.  His lips purse thoughtfully as he levels Yoongi with a long, assessing look.

“Okay,” he says calmly. “So who do we have to go fuck up?”

**************************

Dr. Lee Geon just looks like a fucking weasel.

Yoongi glares at the man as he strolls into the coffee shop a few blocks from Songdo with just minutes to spare to his shift.  

Lee bears little resemblance to his photos on the hospital website.

He’s thin -- just this side of gaunt -- hollow cheeks prominent below dark under eyes beneath a sparse dusting of greasy hair.  Were he not dressed in a rumpled lab coat and equally creased scrubs, Yoongi might have missed him entirely.

Across the room, Hoseok peers at Yoongi over the top of yet another borrowed newspaper -- is this the guy? -- and Yoongi answers with a furtive nod.  

He goes over the plan they’d worked out in the car in his head.  They’d find the guy -- make sure he was the guy -- and then follow him out of the shop.  Catch him just before he got into his car.  Shake him up a bit before shaking him down for information.

There’s one thing Yoongi still hasn’t worked out, though.

Just how much he’s going to allow himself to hurt this asshole before sending him on his way.  Lee slowly shuffles his way to the front of the line as Yoongi imagines jamming his fist into the man’s stupid fucking face.  Imagines doing it over and over again until the piece of shit is unrecognizable.

Yoongi watches Lee order his drink as he kneads at the tender muscles of his shoulder.

Ditching the sling was probably a bad idea -- definitely against doctor’s orders -- but it was a risk he was more than willing to take.  He’d downed a couple of painkillers and shoved his shoulder into a brace and decided he could deal with the dull throb just for the night.  

No way in hell he was going to confront this scumbag looking like some kid who just fell off his skateboard.  

It doesn’t take long for the barista to put together Lee’s drink.  He grabs his coffee and Yoongi tenses in anticipation of his next move.  But instead of heading for the exit, Lee heads for the bathroom instead.

Yoongi locks eyes with Hoseok across the room and Hoseok raises one brow.

Change of plans?

Yoongi nods.

*****************************

Lee’s coffee sits abandoned atop the sink ledge.

Yoongi and Hoseok slip silently into the bathroom and get right to work.  Hoseok blocks the door as Yoongi quietly creeps past the stalls, ducking his head to peer beneath each one.  Lee’s scuffed sneakers are the only pair of shoes he spots.

His ears pick up on a faint sound coming from inside the locked stall.

It’s a kind of soft, intermittent rasping.  Yoongi concentrates on the noise, isolates it until he comes to the realization that it’s sniffling he’s hearing.  He turns to Hoseok and taps his finger against the side of his nose and Hoseok nods his agreement.

Yoongi shakes his head in disgust.  Is there a single substance this idiot isn’t addicted to?

It takes a moment for the sniffling to subside.  It’s followed by a few seconds of quiet rustling in which Yoongi can picture Lee carefully pocketing whatever’s left of his coke.  The noises from behind the brushed steel barrier finally stop and the next thing Yoongi hears is the distinct clink of the latch coming apart.

Lee swings the door wide -- gets one look at what’s waiting for him on the other side -- and nearly jumps out of his skin.  

He startles so hard that he almost falls backward into the toilet.  But he catches himself, regaining his balance and staring back at Yoongi with wide, worried eyes.

Yoongi stands there and says nothing.

“Excuse me,” Lee mumbles, eyeing him wearily as he tries to slide past.  He takes two steps forward then stops in his tracks when he spots Hoseok.  Lee swallows thickly, eyes darting back and forth between both men.

“Is there a problem gentlemen?” he croaks.

Yoongi takes a step towards Lee.  He shrinks back when Yoongi reaches for his badge, yanking the retractable cord as he pulls it close to examine it.  Yoongi runs his thumb over the raised lettering on the laminated card, letting the taut silence linger for dramatic effect.

Then he lets go of the badge without warning, fighting a smile when Lee flinches as it snaps back into place.

“Yes, we have a problem,” Yoongi confirms pleasantly.  “And yes, it’s you.”

The little color left in Lee’s face immediately drains out.

“Look, I don’t know who you guys are, but you don’t w-want to mess with me,” he stammers, voice cracking comically halfway through his flimsy threat.  “I know people.”

“Oh shit,” Yoongi’s eyes go wide with feigned concern, “You hear that, Jung?  This guy knows people.”

“Sounds scary,” Hoseok chuckles.

Lee starts to breathe harder, chest rising and falling faster.  Pupils blown with fear and coke.

“Now, here’s the difference between you and us, Dr. Lee,” Yoongi explains calmly.  “You know people.  But we -- ” he motions to himself and then to Hoseok, “ -- are people . Do you understand what I’m trying to say here?”

Yoongi punctuates his point by brushing the edge of his open leather jacket aside, allowing his pistol to peek out from underneath.  Lee’s eyes lock on it as he nods slowly, pulling deep, noisy breaths through his nose.

“Great.  Now we don’t have to play the game where you pretend not to know about the bullshit you’ve been pulling over at the hospital, right?”

Lee shakes his head slowly.

“So that means we also don’t have to play the game where you pretend you didn’t send some fucking street goon to rough up a little old lady, either. Right?”

The man’s mouth drops open like his first instinct is to deny that accusation. But he steals another look at Hoseok and shuts it instead.

“And then -- ” Yoongi jabs Lee in the chest with one finger and the man jumps back, “-- you tried to send that same goon after your own resident.  But here’s the thing, Doctor Lee.  She knows people, too.”

Lee’s body goes rigid.  Yoongi watches him process the information with his drug-addled brain, a flare of recognition finally sparking in his dull eyes.

“I saw you at the hospital,” Lee whispers.  “You know her.”

“Don’t worry about who I know,” Yoongi shrugs.  “Worry about what you’re going to say in your resignation letter.”

He advances on the man again, closing the space between them.  Lee tries to back away, but he runs out of room.  He tilts against the stall door.

“Resignation letter?” he echoes weakly.

“The one you’re turning in tonight,” Yoongi explains coolly.  “Before you get the fuck out of Songdo and then get the fuck out of Seoul.”

Lee sputters for a moment, grasping for his next words.  

“Well, where am I supposed to go?” he bleats.

“Do we look like recruiters to you, man?” Hoseok cuts in sharply.  “We don’t give a shit where you go -- you just have to go.  You sure this guy is a doctor, Min?  He seems way too dumb to be a doctor.”

“Nah.  This guy’s a junkie pretending to be a doctor,” Yoongi accuses, dropping any pretense of good humor.  “Pretending to be a tough guy, too.  But all of that ends tonight.”

Yoongi grabs Lee by the chin, jerking his head into place and forcing the trembling man to look him in the eye.

“In ten minutes, you’re going to walk your ass into that hospital.  You’re going to tell them you are leaving.  You are going to take that piece of shit pharmacist and anyone else who’s involved with you.  And then you are never going to step foot in this city again.”

He pauses to enjoy the way Lee’s pupils dilate even wider with fear.

“You’re not too high to understand what I’m saying to you right now, right?”

Lee shakes his head weakly, jaw still pinned in Yoongi’s vice grip.

“Great. Now just one more thing before you go on your merry way,” Yoongi says, voice low with menace.  “Give us the name of your street guys.”

Lee panics.  “I can’t,” he whines from between compressed cheeks.  “They’ll kill me.”

Yoongi grips his face tighter, crushing the man’s jaw and using it to push his body flush against the stall.  His fingers and knuckles turn white with the force of his grasp and Lee groans weakly at the pain.  

“I will kill you,” Yoongi seethes. “Me.  Right fucking now with my bare fucking hands if you don’t give me that name.”

Lee is sweating so profusely that Yoongi wonders briefly if he’s having a heart attack.  He’s probably got enough coke in his system for that to be an actual concern.  But the pathetic little shit manages to pull himself together long enough to follow directions.

“Kkangpae,” he wheezes.

Yoongi’s iron grip stays in place, even as he turns to Hoseok, even as both men exchange a look.  That is something he did not see coming.  Perhaps his recent personal issues are family business, after all.

He finally releases Lee’s jaw and the man rears back, breathing hard.

“You have exactly one day to get the fuck out of this city,” Yoongi instructs quietly.  “And that is not an offer I’m prepared to make twice.”

Lee licks his dry lips, nodding his head slowly like he’s just come out of a trance.  “Okay.”

“Great chat,” Yoongi smiles, patting Lee’s cheek.

Hoseok leaves his post at the door to cross the cramped bathroom and reach for the coffee Lee abandoned minutes ago.  Both men watch in silence as he turns it up over the sink, pours it out, and then tosses it in the trash.

He heads back to the door and holds it open.

“Damn Hoseok,” Yoongi murmurs as he brushes past.  “That was cold.”

*********************************

YOU

There’s buzzing.  Of that, you’re sure.

But in those first few moments that you’re rousing, you can’t be sure if you’re hearing it or dreaming it.  You’re disoriented.  It’s the second time in as many days you’ve woken up in an unfamiliar bed.

Shafts of sunlight pour through the blinds and you squint at them, trying to get a sense of the time of day.  If the amber tinge is any indication, it’s late into the afternoon.

The buzzing sounds again.

You roll to your side to grab your cell phone off the nightstand and blink at a long list of waiting texts.

ko: wake up sleeping beauty [ 11:36 AM ]

ko: i have news [ 11:45 AM ]

ko: big news [ 12:22 PM ]

ko: and gaeran tost-u [ 1:02 PM ]

ko: ready for you to wake up now [ 1:43 PM ]

ko: don’t mind me just gonna bang a few pots and pans [ 2:11 PM ]

Any curiosity over Ko’s big news is overshadowed by the way your heart drops when none of those messages is from Yoongi.  

Before you’d left his apartment, he’d asked you to stay.  He’d cleared his throat and looked down at his hands and explained that he’d feel better if you weren’t alone until this entire mess was settled.  But the way he looked at you in those last few minutes together made you feel like his proposition was about much more than just your protection.

It made you want to say yes.

Never mind that it’s insane to feel so at home in his personal space -- or that coming to that realization might have sent you into a mild panic.  In the end, you’d had to say no because you couldn’t bring yourself to leave Ko on her own while this madness played out.

You rub the sleep out of your eyes and fire off two quick texts.

you: i hope you’re okay. please be careful [ 2:33 PM ]

you: up now. be down in five [ 2:34 PM ]

**************************

Ko makes good on her promise of gaeran tost-u.

You’re greeted by the pleasant smell of the sugared egg dish as you walk down the stairs.  Ko sits at her kitchen table, eyes shining with excitement, and pushes a plate at you when you slide into the chair across from hers.

“Eat,” she orders sweetly.  Your stomach rumbles on cue and you waste no time digging in.

“This is really good,” you declare around a mouthful of bread and eggs.  “I might have to live with you forever.”

Ko smiles wide and the expression makes you feel warm from the inside out. The bruising on her face is barely visible now, easily hidden with a little makeup. Her eyes crinkle with happiness as she watches you eat without saying a word.

“Alright,” you sigh, loathe to stop eating even for as long as it takes to speak.  “Spill it. You look fit to burst.”

“Thought you’d never ask,” she complains cheerfully.  “Dr. Lee is gone.  Walked into Songdo last night and walked out forever.”

You gasp halfway through your next bite, sputtering as you try to catch your breath around a mouthful of toasted bread.  Ko stands to grab you a glass of water which you gratefully accept.

“Well, don’t die on me now,” she teases, “Because there’s more.  Nang left, too.  And Tuan and Beom from pathology.  All four of them quit without even so much as a notice, Jagi.  Isn’t that wild?”

You sip your water slowly and Ko’s eyes flash as she watches you.

“Yoo called me early this morning and said the entire hospital is talking about it. There’s a bunch of crazy theories going around.  And here I am, drinking my tea.  Thinking about how you took a few sick days and showed up here. Thinking about how healthy and rested you look right now.  Isn’t that interesting?”

You nod, jamming the sandwich back in your mouth for an obnoxiously large bite.

“And I can’t help but wonder if there’s some connection between this very convenient development and my very sweet, secretive friend.”

Ko’s mouth twists into a teasing smile as you chew your food absurdly slow.

“That sandwich isn’t going to last forever, Jagi,” she says dryly.  She lifts her teacup to her mouth and takes a dainty sip.  “And trust me, I have nothing but time.”

She leans back, cup in hand.

“Okay, so I might know something about it,” you admit after a while.  “But there’s still a lot I don’t know.  And I’m not sure how much of this you want to hear.”

Ko tuts under her breath.

“I want to hear it all.  I’ve got quite a few years on you and trust me, very little shocks me anymore.  So now you spill it.”

You take another sip of water and clear your throat.

“Okay,” you exhale.  “So there’s this guy -- ”

“ -- Oh, I love it when stories start like this,” Ko interrupts.  She props her chin up with her hands like you’re telling a bedtime story and you shake your head with a wry smile.

“He’s been kind of… helping me, I guess.”

“Helping you,” Ko echoes.  “As in helping you out of your clothes?”

“No,” you deny hotly, cheeks warming.  “He’s a friend.”

Ko doesn’t bother to call you out on the weak lie.  But her face says what her mouth doesn’t when one skeptical brow raises high.

“Go on.”

“I told him about what was going on at the hospital and he said he could help me,” you explain slowly.  “So I’m pretty sure he figured out a way to run off Lee and Nang.”

Ko taps her finger against the side of her teacup.

“So let me see if I have this right,” she muses.  “You tell this friend -- who you’ve never once mentioned, by the way -- that you’ve been having this very dangerous trouble at work.  And then your friend somehow manages to convince two grown men who’ve worked at Songdo for years to give up their high-paying jobs and up-front access to IV drugs overnight.”

You shift uncomfortably in your chair.

“And just like that -- ” Ko snaps her fingers for emphasis, “ -- they’re gone without so much as a fuss.”

You nod weakly.

“Jagi,” Ko’s voice drops low.  “I take it your friend’s not a mailman, is he?”

“No,” you mumble.  “Definitely not.”

Ko hums under her breath.  She carefully lifts her teacup to drink, eyes trained on you over the rim.  Her quiet scrutiny makes you anxious.

“Can I ask you a question?” she asks after a long pause.

“If I said no would that stop you?”

“Not a chance,” Ko laughs.  “Would this friend happen to be the mysterious, handsome man who asked for you in the ER a few weeks back?”

Mind like a steel trap, this woman.  You should have known Ko would make that connection and fast.  There’s no point in denying it, so you don’t.

“Yes,” you whisper thickly. “He is.”

It’s hard to get a read on Ko’s reaction.  Over the years, you’ve come to rely on her sweetness and wisdom and warmth.  But now, as you stare into her dark eyes and try to interpret her careful expression, you realize there’s something else you need from her.

Her approval.

“Ko, I think I -- ” you pause to choose your words carefully, “ -- I think I might be in really deep with this guy.”

Ko snorts.

“Oh, I think you might be right about that, Jagiya .  And if he’s helping you with something like this?  Chances are, you’re not alone.”

“Yeah,” you exhale, wringing your hands together beneath the table.  “Thing is -- I need you to tell me I’m not making a mistake here.”

The corners of Ko’s mouth lift into a soft expression of surprise.

“Oh, Jagi,” she chides sweetly.  “You know I can’t tell you that. I don’t know anything about this man.”  She reaches across the table to cover your hand with her own.  “But you do.  You’re the only one who knows how you feel about him.  And you’re the only one who knows if he’s a good man underneath it all.”

Ko squeezes your hand and you turn your head before she can see the tears that threaten in your eyes.  The amber sunlight outside her kitchen window is shifting orange now, flares of light reflecting off the glass.  

You stare at them and think about Yoongi.

Until now, it’s like you’ve been splitting him into two different men -- the bruised, bloody con artist from the exam room and the quiet, teasing flirt from the coffee shop.  Until now, it’s been the only way to reconcile your complicated feelings.

But it's well past time you accepted the truth.

The same Yoongi whose cheeks had pinked when he’d asked you to stay is the same Yoongi you watched beat the shit out of a hired thug.  The Yoongi who carries a cross is the Yoongi who carries a gun.  They’re two halves of one whole.  

And you can’t pine for one and reject the other.

Your cell phone buzzes from the pocket of your pajama pants.  You reach for it, relief coursing through you when you spot Yoongi’s name on the screen.

yoongi: one more thing to do before we can talk [ 3:01 PM ]

yoongi: it’s cold outside, be sure to bundle up [ 3:01 PM ]

Yoongi’s random mention of the weather confuses you.  You stare at the texts and Ko stares at you, concerned by the baffled expression on your face.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, no,” you insist, shaking your head.  “Just, um -- ”

Bundle up.   A tingle runs up the length of your spine as realization slowly creeps over you.  

“Excuse me for a moment,” you murmur, slipping out of your seat.

Ko watches you dash up the stairs, slack-jawed.

You make a beeline for your borrowed room, throwing open the closet doors to find the coat you’d left hanging there on arrival.  The coat you’d worn to and from Yoongi’s.  You hurriedly dig into the pockets, fingers immediately making contact with something hard and jagged.  

You pull it out.

The shiny silver key in your palm looks like it’s never been used, sharp edges gleaming in the waning sunlight streaming into this room.

You don’t have to guess what it’s for.

You just close your fingers around it and hold it tight.

*****************

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