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mrsoharaa · 3 days ago

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"Baby" the soft purr of Sugurus gentle, rasp voice lulls you from your lingering sleep, shifting yourself from the cozy couch and blinking your weighted tired eyes up at your tender boyfriend standing before you, you couldn't help but respond with a rumbled, groggy hum.

Carefully using the back of your balled fist of your right hand to mull away the remaining remnants of sleep from your hefty eyes.

"Sugu? I thought you were on a mission with Satoru? you're home so early...not that I'm complaining" you smile graciously with an extended yawn following suit.

Suguru simply hums in return, leaning forward to plant a subtle, loving kiss to your forehead. Admiring the cute little wandering strands of hair sticking all over your adorable exhausted face.

"I was, we got done pretty quickly, the curse we exorcised wasn't all that strong anyways and was easy to pin point out" he uses the vastly space of his left palm to comb back any of the cute strands of frizzy hair from your head, studying mauve irises swiftly peering over onto the Barou plush nestled ever so comfortably in the warmth of your arms. In his place.

"That's good, are you tired? you can take a nap with me" you apply with a hand pat next to you on the couch, Suguru replies with a low chuckle, a radiant tender smile flaunting down at you and your welcoming invitation of warm and endearing cuddles.

"I am actually a bit tired, but angel..." he drifts off, intent pupils skimming at the silly doll settling ever so cozily in his usual place. You tilt your head with confusion and follow his leering gaze. You giggle with a heartfelt grin.

"Sugu, he's just a plush" you began, watching the twitch in his cute brows furrow slightly, but still held that heart warming smile on his generous, beautiful face.

"He helps me sleep better" and that's all it took for Suguru to falter his gaze from the pesky fabric of stuff little annoyance within your arms to the gloss of your lidded eyes. His lips slumping into a slight line.

Was he...pouting? over a plush?

How cute!

You chuckle with more amusement in your pitched voice, noting the silly cute jealousy hanging on to that perfect expression.

"Baby-"

"No no, don't mind me" he raises his arms in a defeated manner, taking a step back.

"I'll leave it to you and your..." he glimpse back down to the daunting toy in your embrace. Sweltering annoyance bubbling within his chest at the smug-like expression the doll had on it's plush face.

"Companion...seems like I've been replaced...by a doll...who looks absolutely ridiculous" he dramatically swings his head to the right, sighing heavily to add on to his dramatic forefront.

You could only scoff with a imminent eye roll, pushing the doll to the side and opening your arms out to your overly dramatic, hot boyfriend putting on a silly facade before you.

Suguru, with his eyes closed and head still turned to the side, peeks open his right eye to be invited to the open availability of your sprouted arms. The adoring grin on your pretty face only making his heart swell in his firm chest. Glaring victoriously, over to the laid out Barou plush just sprawled across the couch.

Before he leans over to indulge into the safety and comfort of your arms, Suguru hovers over you carefully, takes the doll and tosses it onto the one seated couch next to you both.

"Really Suguru?" you huff with a breathy chuckle.

"He was taking up too much space on the couch lovely...plus, he was in MY spot, so yes, really angel" he simply smiles effortlessly down at you, crooning himself comfortably into the space of your welcoming arms. Gradually, carefully adjusting the two of you onto the couch and snuggling into each others warmth and subtlety.

#sorryyyy I couldn't help but make a jealous Sugu one too! 😭🥺#he's sooo silly and cute!!#big boys getting jealous over plushies/stuffed animals will always have my heart hehe 🥰💕#feeling extrasoft rn idk why but yeee jelly Sugu!! <333 #geto suguru x reader #geto suguru #jjk

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anomaly-076 · 18 hours ago

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Tkdb characters comforting you after finding you having a mental breakdown

‎‧₊˚✿Masterlist✿˚₊‧

♦ I've been writing a bullet-point HC style a lot recently so I decided to switch it up ^^ Reader and the character are written as friends, but can be read as dating (or more ;))... [Apologies for the differences in length, but some scenarios just came out that way U.U]♦

Characters: Alan, Sho, Haru, Haku, Jiro, Professor Dante, + a bonus secret character :D

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

Alan quietly enters your room to see you angrily pacing back and forth, dodging some flying object by mere inches you angrily threw without a care for where it would hit and land.

"Hey, everything okay?"

You head snaps in his direction. Angry stare ready to scorch your intruder not softening even after realizing it was just Alan. Normally you might be able to snap out of your on edge state, but not right now.

"Everything okay? You wanna know what's not okay? I'll tell you... Every. Fucking. Thing!" you spit into his face, getting so up close you can smell the sweat mixed with motor oil that seems to follow Alan everywhere.

If it were any other Vagastrom student, they'd be already thrown across the room, but in your case, Alan is even too stunned to consider that an option. This is the first time Alan sees you ready to set stuff ablaze with your sight alone. He's sure that if your stigma were related to fire, the whole dorm would be on fire.

"Hey now..." Alan finally says something after a few seconds of returning your intense eye-contact.

You don't answer and instead turn on your heel and kick something out of your way as you stomp to sit on your bed.

Only now does Alan have the chance to look around. The walls are dented more than they were before, there's pages torn from a notebook scattered all over the floor and all your stuff is a complete mess, indicating that your rampage has been going on for a quite long time.

A shaky breath coming from your slumped form draws his attention back to you. Are... Are you crying?

Alan is still unmoved from his position at the door. A weird feeling washes over him as he sees you bury your head in your hands and slide them up into your hair to pull on it. Your torso folds forward to dangle between your spread legs as you start to let out breathy sobs.

He's unsure of what to do. He's never been one to deal with emotions, let alone help someone else deal with them. A slight panic starts to take over him.

Then, as if his body moved on its own, Alan finds himself crossing the mess of a floor, stepping over anything scattered there, to sit next to you on your bed.

"Hey..." he tries to say as softly and compassionate as he's able to, but you either don't hear him or pay any attention to him.

"Hey." Alan says again, this time louder and tries to bring you back to reality by running his palm down your back.

You finally seem to snap out of the worst and your torso slightly rises for you to look at Alan from the side of your tear-filled eye.

"Hey, c'mon..." it comes out as another attempt from Alan to comfort you, but in reality he's begging for you to stop. Your crying makes something inside him feel bad, almost painful and he's begging you to stop crying so the unpleasant feeling goes away.

And you wish you could stop, but the tears just keep on coming and there's no stopping. You just shake your head and look back down on the floor, but you do try to control your sobs and reduce them to mere hiccups.

"I... S-something bothering you?" Alan is unsure how to talk to you without making your situation worse again. To him, it feels like most things he'd try to say will end up being the wrong choice.

Thankfully, you fully rise back up with a sigh and look at Alan with now fully red and puffy eyes, heavy with exhaustion.

"I'm just so fed up and tired with everything..." your voice is shaky and coarse like you've spent the better part of the past our angrily half screaming to yourself (which you did and Leo, being Leo, overheard it and sent Alan to investigate).

"Hey, I'm here... You can talk... or... not..." Alan trails off. In talking about feelings he's even more helpless than at consoling someone. So he just awkwardly puts his hand around you and pulls his closer to him so your sides are touching.

⋆˚✿˖°

"Hey Y/N, I got my R&R approved. You wanna go for a dri- huh?" Sho walks into your room without knocking, like he usually does, but immediately stops in his tracks once he doesn't see you any of your usual activities you'd normally do at this time. His eyes scan the room until they land on your curled up form in a corner of your room, whimpering.

"Woah... Y/N, you with me here?" he quickly makes his way towards you and falls to his knees right in front of you. From the state you're in, he's unable to tell what is actually wrong and the only way he can find out what, is by you telling him.

Your head pick up to reveal an empty stare, void of any spark of emotion, and Sho immediately understands.

"Hey now..." he pries your hands off your legs from clutching them close to your chest. His strong hands spread your legs apart to pull you into his lap and hold you against his chest, cradling you.

Reluctantly, you hands wrap around Sho's back, returning his close embrace as you hide your face in his neck. The smell of cologne and the food from his truck hits your nose and comforts you to some degree.

As his own hands roam over your back, Sho hums softly and nuzzles his head against yours. Originally, he wanted to go visit some new bike parts place since he finally managed to get approval to leave Darkwick, but now he's more than anything interested in making sure you're okay.

In his head he's already coming up with a list of stuff that you might wanna do to make you feel better from what he remembers you told him you liked. Thankfully Leo's R&R was approved too, so he won't barge in on the two of you. Sho or you wouldn't hear the end of it.

⋆˚✿˖°

Everything is loud. So loud. Too loud!

The sound of animals in their pens. Ren watching some movie or playing one of his games and complaining about Haru. Someone's footsteps outside your door in the common room. The banging of pots and pans in the kitchen. And the there's that damn scratching of something against a piece of wood!

That sound is about to drive you crazy in your frantic, borderline panic attack state. There's a slight pounding in your head and your breath is quick as you pace around your room like and animal in a tiny cage.

Oh great... Now the footsteps are getting louder. Just what you need...

"What is it Peekaboo? Hm?... Oh!" you can hear Haru's voice from the other side of your door shortly followed by brisk knocks on your door.

"Kinda busy..." your response comes out as a low growl, similar to some of the anomalies in Jabberwock's care.

"Ah... But Y/N, Peekaboo is worried. He says you've been walking around like that for a while now. Don't your feet hurt?" with your eyes trained on the door now, you can see the handle move as Haru tries to open the door. Luckily you locked it while your hands were still able to not shake as much as they do right now.

You ignore Haru's worried question and growl to yourself instead. He's always so cheery, it annoys you to no end right now.

Your door flies open and stops you dead in your tracks. Of course, you should've known that locks won't stop Haru.

A flock of anomalous animals flood into your room through the now open door with Haru standing in them.

"Y/N!"he exclaims in dismay upon seeing the state you're in. All the animals are around you. Some are jumping up at you and some are biting your ankles as a sign of affection, all trying to cheer you up, able to feel the mood you're in.

"Boo..." Peekaboo silently chirps in, echoing Haru's tone of voice. If you were able to look closer, you'd be able to notice he's got tears in his eyes.

"Y/N! Are you okay?" as Haru approaches you, the animals around you scatter away from you, giving him more space to assess your state.

"I- I'on... S'-s'just... Guess... I j-just..." you struggle to formulate your thoughts. They're racing too fast to be able to catch just one of them.

"Hey, hey, hey, slow down Y/N. Just breathe..." Haru guides you to sit down of the ground and takes a deep breath with you.

"Focus on me and breathe, okay?" his voice is gentle, very different from his usual demeanor while trying to advertise capybus tours.

As Haru talks you down from your frantic state and helps you breathe your way through, the animals come and join you, some trying to calm you in their own way and some resorting to just taking a nap around you.

⋆˚✿˖°

You've been working on your project for so long and now you're just going to ruin it with your tears. Great. Just another thing to make your mood worse. This project has been taking so much out of you, you don't even want to finish it.

"Mental health check!" Haku hums, peaking into your room. You've told him about your project and how much it's driving you insane, so he's been checking in on you the whole time.

After seeing you openly sobbing above your project you'd worked so hard on already, he's quick to slip into your room and move it away from you so you don't ruin it any further.

Before you're even aware of his presence over your tears, Haku is already picking you up and carrying you to your bed. After getting on it himself, he positions you in his lap, facing away from your desk, which would remind you of that mess that's been ruining your life for the past month or so.

"Aw, come on now... You're doing a great job. I'm really excited for it to be done and I know it'll be amazing just like everything else you've done." Haku tries to calm you down as one of his hands strokes your cheek.

"B-but i-it's not w-working... I-it sh-should, but isn't..." you sob and your upper body threatens to collapse onto Haku from the strength of them.

"Hey... Hey..." Haku brings his other hand to pick up your face and look at him, "It will work, you just need to take a break."

"N-no, it w-won't... I-i've bee working on it fo-for so long and it just won't... I'll just ha-have to cancel the-"

"No, please don't do that... I'll help you. We're all so looking for you to get it out there..." Haku tries to wipe the tears off your cheeks, but another ones are soon flowing down again.

You shake your head and start trying to turn around to look at you project again. Haku stops you and meekly smiles at you.

"Let me tell tell you what... We go out, have some ice-cream, hang out and maybe watch something in my room and then tomorrow I'll have a look at it and see what we can do... Okay?"

⋆˚✿˖°

"Y/N, hello?" a tired voice calls out to you.

You don't have to turn around to be able to tell it's Jiro.

"Y/N, you were supposed to come in today for a checkup so Yuri sent me for you."

You're still unmoving, just laying on your bed, on your cover and staring at the blank wall in front of you.

"Y/N?" Jiro approaches your bed and touches your arm.

You're still dressed in your dorm uniform despite it being a good few hours since your classes ended and you were allowed to change.

Jiro's gloved hand sneaks up to your neck, his two fingers searching around for a pulse point.

"What are you doing?" you say with a flat voice, almost like you're not fully present, but you sadly are.

"Making sure you're alive. Your catatonia and lack of response worried me."

You don't even answer and only hum in acknowledgement.

Jiro sighs and sits on your bed, inspecting your state.

Despite being a medical student, his studies sometimes included a psychological aspects. Based on them, Jiro was able to determine that your state must've been caused by some severe distress, forcing your brain to shut down and fully detach from reality in order to cope.

Sadly, no treatment came to his mind, so Jiro just kicks off his shoes and lies down behind you and throws his arm around your waist.

Hopefully his closeness can make you feel better. If not, he'll have to call Yuri, but now he wants to try and be there for you alone.

⋆˚✿˖°

Dante could swear he turned all the lights off in his private library, but apparently one of them was still on. It was always such a pain when he had to go back somewhere because of his disability.

With a sigh he opens the heavy door to find you surrounded by some of his books. You're frantically reading the contents of one of them and scribbling something on a paper next to it.

"Ah, Y/N. Isn't it rather late to be researching?"

Dante's sudden presence startles you and as you quickly move to face him, you accidentally knock over the book you were reading.

"Dante, sorry, you've startled me." you sheepishly admit, trying to hide how anxious you are.

"Tell me, what could possibly be so important at this hour, dear?" Dante is faster than you and pushes himself forward to pick up the fallen book.

You take a deep breath to seem like you have it all together, but you can't, "I couldn't sleep. My mind's just filled with all these horrible what-ifs and I couldn't stop them so I thought that maybe if I knew what to do, it would help."

"And what are these what-ifs about, Y/N?" Dante's expression softens.

"I don't know... Everything."

Dante sighs and starts pushing his wheelchair towards the sofa in the middle of the room, "Although I do believe that problems should be faced head on, perhaps you'd prefer if I read your favorite book to you as a distraction?"

⋆˚✿˖°

⋆˚࿔ Secret character 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

"Tough day?" a smooth voice interrupts your thoughts as you absentmindedly pet one of the mail cats, staring off into a space.

"Yeah..."

"Now what could worry a pretty little head like yours?" the owner of the voice comes closer and sits down next to you on the bench.

Your eyes are glossed over with tears so the stranger next to you only looks like a dark-grey smudge.

"Do you know what helps me, while I'm feeling down?... There's this kid, Rui, and he has all of these amazing drinks that taste like alcohol but aren't..."

"I-i know..."

"Hey, maybe if you're down, we could go together right now since my shift's ended."

"Nah thanks..."

"Oh, it's Elias, sweetheart."

#tkdb #tokyo debunker #alan mido #sho haizono #haru sagara #haku kusanagi #jiro kirisaki #professor dante #tokyo debunker janitor

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storfulsten · 2 years ago

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You know what would be good? A SpongeBob SquarePants movie reference with Patrick in heels and small SpongeBob but instead it’s Whitty as Patrick and BF as SpongeBob!

Good idea right? 😉

hmmm yeah sure

they r goofy goobers yea

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hellogoodbyeitsme · 2 months ago

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Broke: Damian is bad at being a Robin because he's too violent

Woke: Damian is bad at being a Robin because he's afraid to hurt people

#obviously it's always funny to do the whole 'what do u have there Damian?' 'a knife!' 'nO' thing #and like make him a horrendous and silly evil gremlin who can and will pull a sword out in the middle of a parking lot to fight #but listen #he doesn't like the assassin background that much and once he learns about like The Normal World he's honestly in anguish about it #that's canon! that's the truth! (right?) (the whole thing with Goliath?? I'm not making it up right???)#i think he's just the kind of guy who loves his swords because they're what he knows and they're a strong connection to his family #but I think it's nice if he spends his time on field telling others what to do because everyone else learned to fight the OTHER way #(by defending and subduing opponents rather than maiming and killing)#so he prefers to take on a tactician general role despite being perfectly capable as a fighter because he knows what everyone else needs #to do to succeed in fights - especially when things are a bit of a mess - but is afraid to be too rough or scary or violent or Demon Son-is #(the things that make him feel like he doesn't belong in a happy civilian world - WHICH IS WHAT HE WANTS IN MY HUMBLE OPINION.)#in this essay I will explain why this allows for him to show awe and love for each of his siblings' fight styles by utilising all of them #and I just think Dami Babs and Tim could really work together as a detective/tactician comms team (with varying distances from the field)#because I think that'd be so fun: Tim is solving (mid-range) Babs is watching/providing supports (far) and Damian is commanding (close)#because the others are like The Bruisers (in their non-lethal way) who trust themselves to only hurt as much as is needed and are good at i #PLUS babs is SO stretched thin and literally the backbone of the bats so I just want a future where some of the kids become HER robins yk #anyway back to the point of the post:#it's kind of alluded to in 2017 supersons; EVERYONE in it comments on how Robin is JUST doing flips and shouting orders #and jon is like The Muscle and the one Doing Stuff - but Jon IS following orders 85% of the time and it works out well for them because #that dynamic of 'I'm not sure I can do it right by myself and I trust you to be my partner so we can do it right together' really #is my favourite like.. they're both filling these ideas of who they're meant to be and they just :( they just seek their own path together #oh no I lost the point again immediately and it became another WHY DO THEY SEPARATE THEM rant #I just think it's really fun to think of Damian as 'the most well trained fighter but ALSO the most likely to step back from a fight'#like yeah when we add in my thoughts on pit rage it adds some angst but that doesn't matter here in THIS post #have I even talked about my hc on pit rage/madness? I don't think I have LMAO (maybe another day)#anyway it's late I'm tired why do I always chat in the tags so much #my posts are literally all in the tags 2% post 98% tags smh #damian wayne #damian al ghul #damian al ghul wayne

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fisheito · 10 months ago

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my princess nonsense is being encouraged watch ouyt imabout to be eneaabled

OK WHATF ATHAT'S SO CUTE I HAD TO MAKE IT i know realistically there's little to no chance that rei DOESN'T know how to work heels 🤣 BUT IMAGINE.....ING.... YAKUMO GENTLY GUIDING REI IN HEELS, WEEKS BEFORE THE BIG GALA AND HAVING NONE OF HIS NORMAL FEAR OF PHYSICAL TOUCH BC HIS [TEACHER MODE] IS OVERRIDING HIS INSECURITY

#rei looking directly at the camera like why are you subjecting me to this. i do not need any of this. i know how to do it #rei wearing stilettos the size of your head so he becomes ur very tall bird goth gf #you know how yakumo gets when he instructs someone on how to cook something #he becomes confident and just tells ppl how to do stuff without his usual amount of stutter and secondguessing #i'm gonna pretend that after his stiletto training in misty vale he gains a TINY MOLECULE of confidence due to experience #like [i can help you if you've never done it before?]#honestly i can't imagine this scenario happening because i am so SURE that rei can walk in heels HAHAHA even tho nothing has proven that #SOMETHING COME PROVE ME WRONG SO MY DELUSIONS CAN SLIDE CLOSER TO POSSIBILITY #anyway even if rei didn't know how to wear heels #would he ever mention it? would yakumo ever learn of it?#rei would probably be all . i don't need to wear heels. they can't even see them under the dress. i'll wear my practical shoes #but if he can't get away with that and will be forced to wear heels at the party...#maybe he'll go [meh. i'll figure it out] and just not wear them until the day of the dance #at which point his feet will hurt after 20 minutes and for the whole night he takes any chance to sit down #rei can be frequently spotted on SOME surface SOMEWHERE in the palace. sitting all splayed out and uncaring of propriety #because he is in PAIN and these shoes are STUPID and why do people wear them for ANYTHING . Royals are so IMPRACTICAL #yakumo keeps trying to avoid heels for the dance because he doesn't want to be any taller than he already is #i bet there's a full convo about it between him and eiden #eiden trying to reassure him that if he wants to wear heels then he shouldn't let others' perception stop him from doing so #but if he genuinely doesn't want to wear them then that's ok too #eiden craning his neck up at yakumo in heels like you're my pretty princess 1-2 heads taller than me your height doesn't matter 🥰#i'm now torn. yakumo and rei both wearing heels now? in order to stay at similar heights?#or. rei starting out with heels. getting tired of them. going barefoot for the rest of the night lol #yakumo and rei still dancing in their ballgowns together but a much shorter rei leads a yakumo in heels #yes. yes this is the vision #yakurei #replies #nu carnival yakumo #nu carnival rei

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icewindandboringhorror · 1 year ago

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I have found a beautiful perfect humble rock specimen that is light yellow with a weird dark yellowy brown lining, somewhat resembling a chunk of smoked gouda cheese... effervescent

#I am still very into trash collecting at the moment and even went out and got one of those grabby sticks for cheap and a little #bucket I can carry around and put trash in. so I am going on walks in nature a bit more (not really to enjoy nature but more to play the #very fun Real Life Hidden Object Point And Click Game that is 'hunt for bottle caps and cans' .. but eh.. whatever gets me out of the #house lol).. anyway.. some nature places near water will have cool rocks #Which I know you're not supposed to take them and I MOSTLY dont.. but every once in a while it's like... when else will I ever find a #gouda rock... I have cleaned up 4 buckets of trash today.. I have helped the environment.. mayhaps.. i could take a One Single Rocke as a #treate... ANYWAY. but yeah. I don't know the names of rocks but there's a rock that's a matte muted marigold yellow sort of #color and I call them 'cheese rock'. I'm pretty sure this one is of the 'cheese rock' species but it just has weird brown coloration #like maybe it got stained or something on one side of it. Most of the other cheese rocks have no markings. though sometimes there will be a #auburn reddish sort of hue on a corner or something.. hrmm.. curious. I also got a Beginner's Hobby rock tumbler and some supplies #so I might try polishing some of the rocks from my enormous rock collection. even though they're all street rocks I picked up from sidewalk #and stuff. I saw a video where someone put random gravel and stuff in a rock tumbler and none of them were Stunning Gems or whatver #but some still turned out cool enough that I would be pleased with the result... OUgh.. I want to post more I need to like do costumes and #sculptures and stuff and be Active On Social Media and think about my Future and Career and how it always benefits artists to keep an #active social media or etc. but I just feel so tired and bad lately. I think the summer heat waves have really exhausted me. I also have #been trying to make new friends + on a weird schedule so I've been socializing and also watching media too much. I notice I always start #to feel this kind of unsettled stress of not making any forward progress in my life if I do that for too long. like 'Okay this week I've #done nothing but meet up with two friends & watch like 10 episodes of tv and only worked on a few projects on the side.. this is HORRIBLE!'#(ppl who follow me here that I talk to on discord: this isn't about you! Im specifically just referencing being tired of introductory talks #with a new round of random strangers during my Friend Hunt. Just clarifying so it couldn't be misinterpreted as vaguepost implying that I'm #secretly bothered by talking to you or etc. lol.. anyway) . Which I know to MOST people 'I talked to a lot of friends and watched some cool #stuff!' sounds like a GOOD relaxing time but.. to me it is not ghhj.. Those are 'external' focuses on things outside myself which bothers #me if not moderated. Like.. i MUST retreat internally to work on my worldbuilding and my own thoughts and etc. at very regular intervals or #it will really start to bear on me too much. Brain Mandated Hermit Isolation lol. Just being too detached from my world and stuff for #too long feels increasingly bad. PLUS. every day I don't make tangible progress towards my goals is a day wasted that I could have been #investing in my future by working on novels/games/sculptures/actual career relevant stuff. Not even in a Capitalism way i just genuinely #enjoy Completing Tasks & feel miserable if I don't for too long. EVEN the media I'm watching I turn into A Task since I rank in a detailed #google doc list after viewing lol.. Like EW movie too boring on it's own. NEED to turn it into something I can categorize and analyze ghghj #LOVE to make things more complicated than they need to be. like YAAAY organizational tasks! yaay meticulous sorting!! BOO ''mindless fun''!

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fourthclone · 6 months ago

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i got two replies out , woo . now i'm going to sleep .

#⚡ ⸺ ❝ moghome . [ ooc ]#just kind of. want to clarify i'll still pop in here to reply to stuff #i'm not burnt out on muse soasmuch as i am just #discouraged and uncomfortable #and unsure of what to do #i don't rly. want to steep myself further rn in theory talk anymore than i have or focus on trying to figure roche out.#i've spent too much time and energy on that and tbqh? the more i stress about whether or not square makes him an interesting chara or w/e #the less i want to write roche so i'm just. not gonna bother. lmk if you want to try out any potential avenues concerning my theories #and whatnot #i'll be operating on a strictly au basis so like. assume everything on this blog is bullshit for now #and ig if i don't like what they do w roche in part 3 i'll likely drop him as a muse #i'm not going to waste my time and energy wallowing on omg!!! they didn't give this character his due!!#i'm so tired of muses i write being done dirty man. i just expect it by this point and the less attached i get to it all the better #it just happens way too often so i just gotta. stop thinking so much and having another muse to focus on will help w that #i think i've reached the pt where i'm tired of 'fixing' characters. so i'm not gonna do it

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nervocat · 5 months ago

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I want to delete my account.... disappear for a bit........ but I WON'T I WON'T I WON'T I PROMISE

#💭 — ⌗nervo rambles . ★#I'm my worst enemy atp HAHA #Idk a fresh start does SOUND nice #but this user is like. mine #it's ME #my identity if you will #and I also have a lot of memories here and while it is a messy account (which bugs me..... I wanna clean it out so bad but it's HARD)#and I'm going to see family on Thursday and we're coming home Sunday I believe #which is rlly cool bc I don't see those family members a lot #but my mental exhaustion..... It's tiring to interact irl #and online interaction is a lot easier for me personally #aaaand ik I'll probably get irritated a lot get frustrated lock myself away bc of that all #you get the point #my thoughts also say that if I were to disappear here it'd take a bit for ppl to notice/they wouldn't care that I'm not on the platform any #BUT IK IT'S NOT TRUE #I seek validation too much I'm gonna be completely honest #I want to know ppl would miss me I want to know I make a difference here but yk #my account always dies for a bit when I'm on some kind of break 💔💔#I was abt to get wayyy too deep there HELP #yeah probably gonna delete this list in a few hrs I always cringe at them later on bc of the stuff I say in tags #I'm too much of a yapper and share too much online #but nobody sees anyways #and me saying that stuff makes me call myself an attention seeker istg 💀💀#sorry guys 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏#I'm trying to make this humorous and not too serious 😞😞

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vincent-sinclair-deserved-better · 3 months ago

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thinking of my blorbos but not in a "i love you you love me all is well" way but a "i love you hope you kill me" way lol

#cylas vents #negativity #negative #death wish #lmao #bitches be like '[potentially concerning thing]' and then add 'lol' as if it's funny or a joke lmao #like i mean technically it's not but then again it is bc it's me. like yeah don't worry don't take this seriously don't mind me ok #it doesn't really matter anyway kk. or maybe it's more like I'm the joke.#like idk the thought that like most of my f/os would probably kill me on sight should be less comforting than it is i guess #imagine casually making posts like this and still being like 'ok but maybe im not actually mentally ill maybe im faking maybe im lying to #myself maybe im making excuses maybe im imagining things maybe im just lazy' etc etc #none of the antidepressants since fluoxetine decided it's over have done shit and even my psychiatrist now is always like 'hm. so do you #want to keep trying other things' and like yeah what else can i do? therapy didnt do anything for this specific issue and the tagesklinik #lady didnt really seem to get my issue (well her suggestions for like therapy groups or whatever were more about socialising or whatever #like ??? girl that's really not the main problem here lmao but she also did have a point about how i would have to actually go there every #day etc but like #what else am i supposed to do #hi i am always tired and sometimes struggle to even get out of bed and thats why i worry about getting a job or something bc it could become #too much or whatever but like unfortunately thats kind of a requirement for everything lmao #when psychiatrist asks what i want/expect or whatever i am internally like 'a magic pill that just fixes everything and makes me a normal #functional human being' but like that's just not A Thing (tm)#so. like. what else am i supposed to do.#i don't want to be like this forever #idk how to tag lmai #using stuff like #tw suicidality #tw suicidal #tw suicidal ideation #just feels so over the top and like i dont have the right to use them lol

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sportsthoughts · 8 months ago

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#oh i am a bit tired tonight folks. had a nice time yesterday trawling through old pens forums and linking back some posts to here #(all with links because like - it's nice to share where you've found fun stuff right?) no point gatekeeping at all - we don't own content #and then the same old people once again somehow by chance post the exact same five or six photos 5 minutes after #and yeah. great minds think alike right? you were probably trawling a not touched since 2015 forum too at the same time. it's possible #and out of the hundreds of photos on there you decided to make the exact selection i did. it's possible right?#and truthfully i don't really care because i'm posting this stuff because my blog is MY personal archive and it's stuff I want to catalogue #but when you have blocked as many blogs and sideblogs as you can and people are still finding you and send you shitty anons for just...#daring to use the player tags? cataloging stuff by literally tagging the player's name? ughhhhh it's exhausting how can i block you when yo #are the tumblr equivalent of hydra regrowing a new fake sideblog pretending to be a different person every week.#sorry i know this ranting into the abyss is pointless but i have a few more posts scheduled for tonight and i know i'll wake up tomorrow #and miraculously the same ones will be posted on the same people's blogs 5 minutes after me and it's just so childish #but yeah. we all know who they are and i'm just a little tired of it and hearing the stories of people being harassed in their inboxes/dms #anyway anyway anyway. i think i shall just take a break from posting stuff because feeling a little disheartened! and uncomfortable #because i feel watched. please stop using other blogs to find me. please stop talking about me in your tags. touch some grass my friends

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justarabidlittleyingzhao · 11 months ago

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Went on reddit last night, looked for LBFaD discussions.

I'm tired. I'm angry, but I'm also tired.

Gonna rant in tags.

#like okay a show is subjective #it can be hit and miss #i know this #and characters can be hit and miss #i also know this (very very well as the weirdo who thinks Yunzhong could have been a better emperor if he just got some)#(and Ronghao should have got grief counselling because then almost all the bad stuff would *never* have happened)#but if i see one more criticism of Yu Shuxin i'm gonna scream #she's playing a character #she's an actress #they're ALL actors #they're ALL playing characters #why were there so many people conflating the two #and then there were the really nasty personal insults of some of the actors that i read with my own two eyeballs #everyone has their favourites but to go out in public and insult - not just the characters - but the actors playing them???#why are people like that #was it too much to expect intelligent discussion #i mean objectively i can make myself see some of the points made #but i got real tired real quick of reading the same things over and over #i don't know if the rejection of Orchid is cultural or if we've just been conditioned to 'despise' certain portrayals of femininity?#when i first watched LBFaD i was SO into it #but then i think i implicitly understood what the dynamics between Orchid and DFQC were supposed to be and i absolutely loved them #to me they were the embodiment of persephone and hades #and the development of Orchid's relationship with DFQC is exactly everything i ever headcanoned that particular greek myth would be like #in the end these are actors who took risks and made decisions with their director about how to perform their characters #and i appreciate the risks they took because they would have *known* these were Risks in terms of audience reception #anyway #after emerging from reddit feeling sadder #angrier #and like i needed a bath to wash it all off #i'm reminded once more why i *do* prefer this hellsite better than others

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sepiasys · 11 days ago

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I love trauma! I love being traumatized!

#sepiasys.txt #I love that B has basically just reconfirmed(?) that he has made himself a father figure to me!!#(is tired and annoyed/pissed off)#Things were fine when we went out but then it came time to get stuff to buy from target and yeah that was a trigger ig idfk #fucking awful experience. tempting to never go outside again despite knowing WE DO LIKE OUTSIDE!!#Motherfucker says he's responsible for us; not the first time.#coming to the conclusion that he basically acts like a parent to me felt like it was a completely new realization; but also like I should've #already come to this realization? Completely unfamiliar but logically makes sense enough that I should've already known.#So anyways I DON'T WANT A PARENT I WANT A FRIEND??#Specifically I want someone who is fine with us going in two different directions and meeting back up. He doesn't like when I'm separated :/#Bro got me feeling like a little kid again which was so fucking unpleasant. I felt too tall in the store.#On the walk home in familiar territory was fine ig. I want to punch him. but I've already fucking hurt him enough. whatever.#He told me that my saying this felt similar to back home hurt him. like it was rude/mean. That pissed me off more.#Like yeah I'm not considerate half the time of how others might feel; I dont think about it. BUT DUDE I AM/WAS LITERALLY HAVING AN AWFUL #TIME HERE AND YOU INTERPRET ME EXPRESSING MY PAIN AS BEING RUDE TO YOU!?#Like fuck I get you are the reason I'm here and I'm grateful for it; still rather be here than home; BUT ARE YOU FUCKING FR? ARE YOU KIDDING #Motherfucker saying he just wants to protect me and shit and thats not the first time either but THAT FEELS OVERPROTECTIVE AT A POINT DUDE #I know I'm traumatized and ik you are too but like fuck dude my needs and your needs do not fucking align if thats the case FUCK #I'm so pissed off and yet I can only express it as if lukewarm instead of fuming. Whatever. fuck this shit. fuck everything. 19 pizza rolls.

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bootyful-seventeen · 1 year ago

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i am too mentally exhausted to even deal with this shit anymore with my mom and grandma and low key wish i'd go comatose for a few years to be left alone tbh

#had a clean up service come by to see the damage and give a quote on the estimate and my grandma wasnt having it #she got upset and started crying to them about she has only 1 daughter and is trying to help her and they're trying to tell her that keepin #all that junk isn't gonna be helping anyone especially my mom but she wasn't getting it and i said i'm not helping clean the junk that's #all around the house cuz i'm tired of it all and having to manage my emotions since i am for sure emtotionally stunted from my childhood #and have to deal with a schitzophrenic mom and an absent sister who's balls deep in denial while i'm struggling to find a job here #and my grandma always stressing me ot saying she's gonna kick me out isn't fucking helping here at all like she thinks it does #so when they left she spent all day sobbing on the phone how i'm a terrible granddaughter who wants to throw out good stuff #when i'm not gonna keep helping sell shit for my mom cuz my sister can do it as her family contribution since she did nothing since dad die #and the thing is i gave them all options on clearing shit out cuz i know this family by now and shit doesn't get tossed but it migrates #cuz i said months ago i can ask some friends if they could come down and help sort and declutter #grandma said no to that and said she'll kick me out if i do it and she didn't want to pay for my mom's shit to get moved into a storage uni #she leaves the clean up to my mom and i think the backyard got worse but she didn't call anyone to throw out the junk like she threatened t #so i call a fucking hoarders clean up service cuz that's what my family is on my mom's side at this point and the city will be called too #and she has this reaction cries all day and calls everyone to say i'm horrible and yells at me saying i'm the one killing her with stress #when she's already been doing that for months to herself when i'm just tired and possibly mildly depressed or something idk #i barely leave my room and don't go outside except to walk my dog but idk cuz my family's attittude was we don't go to doctors cuz #cuz they're for crazy people but of course it's gotta switch up for my mom and no one else and i'm just sick of it all #grandma doesn't accept free help and she won't accept help that i pay for myself with my money set aside for school so i'm done #unlike her when i say i'll do something i stick to it so i'm not doing shit anymore unless i can call a friend to help with this mess #it's gonna sound like such a horrible thing but i can't wait for my family to die so i can live in a clean home again and get help #like deep serious help cleaning and big time grief councelling cuz i barely had time to process my dad's death and being the one to find hi #and that was just this february like god i am going to need so much fucking therapy in my future it's almost rediculous #and probably say screw my mom's side and visit my dad's side a lot more since they seem to be the normal ones in this shit family tree #at least they're not stupid and leave junk everywhere where one neighbour getting sick of not being able to sit outside and enjoy their yar #without mountains of junk staring them right in the face and landing a notice from the city to clean up especially since #we have chainlink fences and at least 7 neighbours can see the backyard and everyone can see the front porch when passing by #i'm just tired of living in these suffocating households and even wanna file a report myself to kick them into gear #its horrible living like this and no one should live surrounded by junk and things they never use or even garbage

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dxxtruction · 3 months ago

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#there is a wide margin of interpretation you can take with Armand and I'd like ppl to understand that.#We just quite actually do not have all accurate or full information on him but what we have is enough to prove #he is capable and culpable of all the things he is shown and proven to have done #I think a lot of the writing this season also was intentionally meant to confuse and make you doubt what is happening there. like actually #where do the lies start?#Now are all of them equally valid? Absolutely not. But I'm not like going to judge heavily people who have a different one.#A lot of bad ones (poorly backed) I get where that conclusion gets drawn from and for me it's just kind of fun to theorize those things #People claiming it as the right interpretation are a little like... okay chill out. But I think there can be room for that.#That is unless your ideas somehow vindicate or paint him as somehow also a victim of Louis like wtf are you doing at that point don't defen #him the dude is a massive piece of shit let him be a piece of shit.#It also doesn't make much sense to make him some great mastermind or somehow winning over something he's clearly shown not wanting?#its easier for me to see him as someone who doesn't have very fixed intentions or judgements on anything #his moral compass is self serving even when those morals are aligned to good things or a desire to be good #like he can see something as bad even undesirable and still do it if it serves some larger or more stable benefit to him #with little regard for who gets hurt in the process and with low empathy to see they could be hurt by it #And thats the most consistent thing about him is he falls to whatever is most beneficial w/o regard to others even when regarding them #& those good things r performative even if he's not intending it to be when it aids in exploiting other peoples view of him to an advantage #Or like when he goes about hiding under that persona to meet bad ends intentionally. (These go back and forth)#and something something the purpose of a system is what is does #there's little point in getting into the intentions of Armand when he consistently fails to do what he's claiming be #Idk tho honestly might not post iwtv stuff for a while I'm tired #There's a an amount of interpretation you can take about any other character too just there is so much more speculation there than elsewher

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catkin-morgs-kookaburralover · 2 years ago

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writing poetry sometimes feels like you gotta cut yourself open to express it idk smear all your organs all over the page and hope somebody else reads something beautiful. is that like divination the way it's expressed in various places and things? I dunno. poetry never slides off your skin like water off a duck's back. it's from within I think. sometimes you have to tear yourself apart to get at the words and sometimes it just wells up from within and gushes out. always from somewhere deep inside. sometimes it's difficult and horrible and painful but the alternative would be worse. sometimes it's from sheer joy that must overflow into words. I think that's beautiful personally. skin splitting from joy. it happens, I think, to us all at some point. or maybe I'm just a creature of extremes. maybe that online test I did because a friend recommended it is true. it said my symptoms were high. I don't know. maybe it is true, maybe it's not. I read a book once where there was a character named Nathan Hill-and-Dale, and while I'm not nearly as extreme as he was portrayed, in my extremes, I know I'm a fairly volatile person. funny, for most people who see me IRL seem to think that I'm fairly calm. nope, I'm a volcano. watch out, even when I'm apparently calm I might blow up one way or the other. one of my residents' family members said today that I was young and bubbly and she was glad to see it because happiness is the prerogative of the young. a part of me wished I told her. I have actively tried to kill myself once; I have come extremely close to the same actions countless times including yesterday; I would sooner hurt myself than others; if I had my own choice I would simply starve. of course I didn't tell her. sometimes I think I'll never get better. at this point I would consider it a very high chance that I will either die by suicide or end up in hospital following an attempt. not now, of course. but despite my fierce love for my course it has stress associated with it and I think that it's very likely that no psych help on earth would fix my mental health enough for that not to be an option mentally in this short time. I think it's possible to recover from all of the things I struggle with. God help me, I hope it is. the real question is whether I will survive long enough to recover from them. and the answer? I know not. I was reminded of a past interaction with the boy today, where he called my name - I turned - his grandfather, a photographer, was waiting to see if he could get a decent photo, for we were at a church conference and he was trying to get photos everywhere. they were laughing. I could not help but laugh. that memory is tainted now, for he would not look at me now, let alone try to pull such a stunt again. I don't blame him. I don't blame anyone for it. I wonder what would happen if I blocked all my friends on discord; who would seek me out? part of me hopes people would, another part hopes they would not. sometimes I just want to be left alone to curl up and die. it would be easier. so much easier than living, and living, and living. I tried writing poetry just now. it felt like trying to cut myself open, I couldn't get the words out. it only made me feel rather wild. I'm desperate for change, for something. something. what is that something? I don't know. did you know I'm a sadist? I would not in a public place express the thoughts that led me to that conclusion. but I am. I wish I wasn't. there's an obvious solution to that. quick, and easy. so easy. too easy. I tried writing poetry, and then instead of writing anything coherent, I wrote this.

#tw suicide #tw suicidal ideation #tw sh #personal #puddleglum hours #tried writing poetry and the very act of trying made me desperately want to harm. i think i'll break my streak today. all the things have #been so bad today. not so much the individual things as they all stack up together. almost the worst most constant dysphoria ive ever #experienced. coincided with eating new stuff which was scary. weighed myself yesterday on dad's recommendation and found out i *believed*#id gained like more than double what i *did*. feel so disgustingly fat and heavy tho why can't i just stop eating. why is everyone #prolonging my existence. serious question. this includes myself. whats the good. im tired but not. and oh so disgusted with myself.#weak. stupid. failing. only a fool talks like this. oh but don't worry im safe. safe enough anyhow. oh look nothing's real that explains #something. but i am safe. aint me as gonna commit suicide today. don't worry about me. im ignorin my friend who's worried about me bc she #has her own struggles. im not gonna ad to them at this point. selfish enough i am already. ive been choking on disgust all day even through #my jubilation over reaching a fourteen day streak. funny i literally don't care now. gonna break it. unless i'm too coward to do otherwise.#i ought. i ought to do other things too. i don't know how long i can keep on going like this. pray for me.

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