#so I'm probably not The Best person to ask
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so-i-did-this-thing · 8 hours ago
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Hello!
I wanted to ask a question, if that's okay. So, I'm genderfluid afab and feel like a man sometimes (probably more often than I allow myself to realise). I don't have access to a Binder or anything of that sort (transphobic parents).
Is there any way for me to look/be more masculine? I'm a bit scared of goggling because I don't want to accidentally take advice from Tate people or the like.
(PS. I really like your Siegfried Farnon cosplay!)
Heya!
This is a tough one to answer. Because "masculine" means different things to different people. And "passing", as well.
Like. When I wear my fleece jacket and baseball cap, I'm deliberately passing as a certain type of man. But I felt more masculine the other day wearing an ascot.
So, I think we need to break down this question:
1) If you're looking to pass, there are going to be trans masc guides out there that will direct you to a very particular gender presentation. They tend to assume you are white and skinny. They present themselves as a list of Dos and Do-Nots, and at the end of the day, do more harm than good, imo. Because passing guides are almost always about hiding parts of yourself physically, often to the expense of hiding parts of your psyche.
Seek them out if you must, but when it comes to passing for safety, all I can suggest is ambiguous layers, a hat, keeping your head down and your mouth shut. The best way to pass is to not draw attention to yourself, alas.
2) If you're looking to dress more masculine to alleviate gender dysphoria, then you need to drill down to what makes you dysphoric and start there. My smaller feet is one area of contention for me, so I look for semi-dressy shoes that look long and elegant (like Taft boots). Since you can't get a binder, consider layers, if your chest bothers you.
3) If you're looking to dress more masculine to seek gender euphoria, then figure out your aesthetic masculine ideal. Make a pinboard of Looks you enjoy and see if there are trends. Some folks are drawn to athletic wear. Work wear. Perhaps a vintage aesthetic -- Rockabilly. 90s grunge. 1940s British country vet (meeeee, lol).
Ask yourself: What are the hallmarks of this style? Are there casual and formal versions? How does it change seasonally? How much of it is clothing and how much of it is the body (haircut, being muscular, etc)? And above all - what is this style trying to communicate to others?
Once done, see what sort of fashion tips are out there for your style. Who are the fashion experts and how much do you care about their advice? (Menswear guy has great tips about how a modern suit "should" fit, but a lot of his advice is also personal preference with a big dollop of classism.)
Pay close attention to how men wear their clothes -- where they sit on the body, how they style the outfit. Compare how a man is styled in your preferred look to how a woman is styled and see what that sparks in you. How much of it is the clothing or body? How much is posture? You might discern some visual shorthand you can harness to be read as more masculine. You might also come up with ways to have plausible deniability around your parents by being able to pivot a masculine look to be more feminine, when needed.
After all this research, get yourself to a thrift shop or other second hand option and start experimenting. Buying actual men's clothing is probably going to be your best bet, but depending on your Look Book, that may not always be the case.
No one can tell you how to feel more masculine -- that really needs to come from within. Once you figure that out, then it's a matter of reconciling your ideal look with the peculiarities of your body. (And all men have their own challenges wrt the fit of clothes.)
Afford yourself as much grace as possible when it comes to your body. And again, remember that feeling more masculine and passing more masculine may not always overlap and could even be at odds. And only you can determine if and when that is a problem.
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ashwhowrites · 1 day ago
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i love love love your writing and i have been waiting for your requests to be open!! can you please write a billy hargrove x reader story where he rejects her and then he regrets it and has to grovel?
Like she is super nice and friendly with everybody, and she can even get Billy to soften up to her. She's had a crush on Billy for the longest time like since he's arrives in Hawkins but he always is hooking up with somebody or flirting with somebody else. Then she notices that he's been alone for a couple of weeks and thinks this is her chance so she confesses to him and he lets her down gently because he doesn't feel the same (he so does but in his experience romance never lasts and he could never ever bear to lose her) and so she decides that having him as a friend is better than nothing.
But obviously she can't act the way she acted before and she starts distancing herself from him. No more grabbing his arm for security when the hallways are crowded. No more asking him for rides to and from school. No more chattering in his ear during lunch. Instead, she's doing those things with her best friend Steve or Eddie because they knew about her heartbreak and they're trying their best to be supportive.
And obviously he can tell right away that things are different and he's fighting the urge to shove Steve/Eddie away and take back his place next to you. He's trying to reach out and spend time with you and he doesn't care if he sounds desperate when he's doing so but she keeps blowing him off because she wants to get over him and she thinks he's just pitying her.
He finally snaps one night and sneaks into her room and tells her how he's been going crazy. She apologizes for being distant and says that she's moving on so that they can be friends. And Billy just says screw that and he doesn't care what he said before he just wants HER.
Sorry if this is a lot but I can't wait to read what you do with this!!!
I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻
Relationship guy
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Y/N and Billy had a touchy friendship. From afar they looked to be a couple, with the way they held hands, hugged, kissed each other's cheeks, and the way Billy would do anything for her. She was the only person in the world Billy had a soft spot for, that had to mean something.
There wasn't much time when they were apart. Billy was at her house first thing in the morning, the door open as he waited. The way he leaned against his car made her heart race every time. Then they arrive at school, and as usual, everyone is watching. They moved around the school and when people got too rowdy, Y/N would latch herself to Billy's arm.
"I got you," he smiled as he threw his arm over her shoulder. It wasn't the first time and probably wouldn't be the last.
Lunch was Y/N's favorite part of the school day. Not only because of no class but because she got to talk to Billy non-stop for those few moments.
"Do you think you'll win today's game?" Y/N asked, crunching down on Billy's ignored apple.
Billy scoffed, stuffing his face. "Duh, I'm on the team."
Y/N laughed and nodded, "Fair point, and Steve too!"
"Oh yeah because he does a lot," Billy rolled his eyes.
"Be nice, he is my other best friend," Y/N playfully lectured.
"Yeah, but we know I'm better,"
"In basketball or being a friend?" Y/N asked to clarify
"Both, babygirl," he winked.
The bell rang and they packed up their trash. Before they went separate ways for class, Y/N kissed Billy's cheek goodbye.
~~~
Y/N fell for him, of course. She had eyes for Billy ever since he moved to Hawkins, but he didn't have the eyes for her. His eyes looked at every girl that passed by him. Y/N never made a move because he was always sleeping around with a new girl, but lately, he seemed to be alone more than usual.
With his eyes not looking elsewhere, Y/N found a boost of confidence to ask Billy out.
They were lying in his bed listening to music when she turned to look at him. She took in his handsome features, studying how gorgeous he was up close. She watched as his lips formed a smile and he turned to look at her.
"Why are you staring at me?" he laughed, placing an arm under his head and propping himself up. He reached out and placed his arm over her waist. She smiled at the feeling, her heart racing.
"Have you ever seen me more than just a friend?" she asked, her stomach twisted as his smile slowly disappeared from his face.
"What do you mean?" he asked, licking his lips nervously.
She took a deep breath, cuddling closer into his warm body. He hoped she couldn't hear how fast his heart was pounding.
"I like you, Billy. I have for a long time but never said anything. Lately, you've been alone and it got me thinking maybe this is my chance to tell you."
Billy was in awe of her soft voice and the beauty of her heart. The truth was, he did like her. He was alone because no girl could get his mind off of her. She was the only person in his life that made him happy and he wasn't sure if he'd live if he lost her. He never tried to have a relationship so he had zero hope he would treat her the way she deserved.
"I think you are incredibly beautiful, inside and out. You've given my life a whole new purpose and I'm grateful to have you. I'm not a relationship guy and that won't change. I love you and hold a place for you in my heart, but in a friendly way." Billy said gently. He softly rubbed her hip as she sighed.
"If you were a relationship guy, would you go for me?" she asked, moving to look up at him. There was so much emotion in his blue eyes and she wished she could detect it.
"My first and only choice, baby," he said softly, leaning in to kiss her forehead. "Are you going to be okay? I really don't want to lose you as my friend," Billy admitted. He feared she'd pull away and he wouldn't blame her.
"Yeah, I'll be okay," she smiled. The rejection slightly hurt but she had a gut feeling Billy wasn't the boyfriend type anyway.
Billy hummed as a response. He moved to wrap both his arms around her, setting his head on hers as she cuddled into his chest.
~~~
Turns out she wasn't as okay as she thought she'd be. Spending all her time with Billy was fun and exciting. But now all she could think about was how badly she wanted more and how it would never happen. The kisses to her cheek that made her heart race were starting to make her stomach sour. And riding with him to and from school felt suffocating as his cologne filled the space.
She realized she would never be able to move on from him if she didn't change things. So, she figured creating a little distance would help her clear her head and heal her heart. Once she felt over him, they could resume their friendship and it wouldn't hurt her anymore.
Y/N got in Billy's car, her mind reeling. She was in deep thought and had been struggling with what to do.
"Steve is going to bring me home today," she said quietly. Billy turned down the music and turned to look at her. But she kept her eyes on the road as he drove.
"Oh, why?" He asked, moving his eyes back to the road. He ignored the ping of jealousy that ran through him.
"I think I need some space from you. Not in a bad way, it's just to help me. We'll still hang out and be best friends. I promise," she smiled. She reached over to place a comforting hand on his thigh.
Billy wanted to do what was best for her, but selfishly he didn't want space. He nodded and focused on the road, he hoped she couldn't see the water filling his eyes as he pulled into the parking lot.
~
The end of the day arrived and Billy could feel her lack of presence. He walked in the hallways alone, watching as she clung to Steve instead. She didn't sit with him at lunch, but that didn't stop him from staring at her the whole time. He dreaded driving home alone all day and he hated that it arrived. He also hated that her needing space meant everything changed.
He gave her a small wave as she drove by in Steve's car. His heart sped up as she excitedly waved back with a big smile. At least she still cared about him.
~~~
Billy tried to be patient with giving her space but after a week, he was ready to throw in the towel. He had to physically hold himself back from slamming Steve against the lockers whenever Y/N touched him. That was Billy's place. He fought the urge to sit at her new table, and beg her to gossip about her friends, anything to listen to her talk.
He missed driving with her, her smell in his passenger seat was slowly fading.
He sat on his bed as he held the phone to his ear, he hoped with everything in him that she would pick up.
"Hello?"
Billy smiled at the sound of her voice, "There she is, I've missed you," he admitted.
"I've missed you too, Billy," she said, a hint of sadness in her voice.
"Want to come over? We can order your favorite and watch those horrible movies you like," Billy offered.
"That sounds amazing, but I can't tonight. I'm sorry."
"That's alright, maybe next time," Billy said disappointed. The call ended shortly after and Billy slammed the phone down. He pulled at his hair as he took deep breaths to calm himself down. He was mad, frustrated, and hurt.
"You okay?"
Billy looked up as hot tears streamed down his face. Max stood at his door with a worried expression, a look he'd never seen her have before.
"I'm fine," he snapped. He walked up and slammed his door. Max didn't take it personally, it was the first time she ever saw Billy cry.
"I know we aren't friends, but it's okay to be upset. It's okay to feel things other than anger." Max said before she walked away.
~
The more time they spent apart, the more desperate Billy got. The more he called, the more he begged. He didn't care if he sounded crazy or pathetic, all he wanted to do was see her.
She noticed all the attention, and it was hard to look the other way. But she knew she'd never get over the love she had for him if she went back. She couldn't talk to him without getting lost in his eyes, or be in the same car inhaling his cologne. She couldn't touch his skin and not think about how much she wanted to taste it.
She figured he was pitying her, trying to lessen the blow of rejection. She knew Billy cared about her and it was something he'd do, but it didn't help her. It only made it harder.
She went to turn off her lamp when she heard knocking on her window. Only one person went through her window so she prepared herself to see him again.
She quickly fluffed her hair and smoothed out her sleep clothes. She walked over and opened the curtain. She didn't say anything as she unlocked the window and let him through.
"I can't do it anymore. I tried and I want to do what is best for you but I can't do it anymore!" Billy ranted as he paced around her room. "I can't take the distance. It's selfish, I know but I am falling apart here."
"Billy," she sighed, "It's hard now but trust me, it'll help us in the end."
"No, it won't!"
"If we don't do this now, I will never get over you. It'll damage our friendship in the long run. I'll never be able to accept when you get a girlfriend or decide one day to get married. I'll be tortured and unhappy. I'm doing this for the future us," she explained. "This is the only way I'll be happy for you."
"I don't care about future us. I care about us right now. I care about you being in my life right now." Billy begged. She watched Billy walk around the room, tears building in his eyes.
"I can't have you in my life right now!" Y/N argued, "You don't understand how painful it is to be in love with someone who can't love you back."
"What if I can?" he whispered, she felt her anger come to a halt.
Y/N scoffed, "You said it yourself, you're not a relationship guy."
"I don't give a fuck what I said. It was all bullshit, okay? I'm scared and have no idea what I'm doing and I don't know if I'll be who you want me to be, but I don't care. I want you," he confessed. He walked over and placed his hand on her cheek. She felt her breathing pick up as he looked down at her, so much emotion in his eyes.
He leaned in and she followed, turning her chin up as she closed the gap between them. She sighed in bliss as his warm lips worked against hers. He wrapped his arms around her, desperately pushing her body against his. Kissing her was better than Billy imagined, she was sweet and soft. He wanted to beat himself up for waiting so long.
Needing air, he pulled away. He placed his forehead on hers, opening his eyes as he panted against her mouth. "I'm ready to be a relationship guy. I love you."
"I love you too, Billy," she smiled, placing her lips on his.
~
Billy couldn't wipe the smile off his face as he pulled up to her house. He got out of the car and opened her door. He crossed his arms as he waited for her to walk out.
"There's my girl," he whistled as she walked down the driveway. She rolled her eyes but blushed at the nickname. She greeted him with a kiss, loving the way he wrapped his arms around her to deepen it.
"Good morning to me," Billy said against her lips. She pulled away to smile. She got in the car and Billy followed.
His hand was on her knee the whole drive. Y/N felt butterflies in her stomach ever since they kissed. She couldn't believe she and Billy were in a relationship.
They held hands as they walked into the school. He was happier than ever to have her by his side again, and this time as his girlfriend.
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lvmoure · 2 days ago
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Jump Then Fall CS55
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Pairings: Carlos Sainz x childhoodbff!reader
Summary: In which you loved him the moment you turned 7 years old. In which she fell first but he fell harder.
Warnings: none, pure fluff
Part 2 Part 3
You were only seven when it hit you for the first time: a fluttery feeling, soft and strange, but warm like a summer breeze. The source of this unexpected feeling was none other than Carlos Sainz, your best friend since you could remember. He was the boy who sat next to you in class, the one who chased you around the playground, and the one who always let you have the last cookie at lunch.
It was a sunny afternoon, the kind where the sunlight spilled across the playground in warm, lazy beams, illuminating everything in a golden hue. You and Carlos were at your favorite spot by the swings, taking turns seeing who could go the highest. Carlos grinned at you, his cheeks flushed from the thrill of the game, his laughter bright and unrestrained. You felt your heart race, pounding in a way that seemed strange and exciting all at once.
"Hey, are you even listening to me?" Carlos called out, waving his hand in front of your face. He was laughing, his eyes squinting with joy as the wind tossed his dark hair in every direction.
You snapped out of your thoughts, cheeks heating up as you stammered, "Of course I am! You were saying… uh, something about soccer?"
Carlos groaned, rolling his eyes dramatically. "I was talking about how we should form a team, and I was going to ask you to be my teammate. But now I'm not so sure, since you're off in dreamland!"
You felt your face warm even more, but you managed to laugh. "Fine, I'll be your teammate, but only if you promise to pass the ball sometimes!"
He laughed, pretending to consider your terms. "Deal," he said, reaching out his pinky. You linked yours with his, feeling a spark—a small, inexplicable jolt that made you freeze for just a second. But Carlos didn't seem to notice; he was already excitedly planning your imaginary soccer team's strategy.
As the two of you chattered away, you realized how much you loved moments like this. Little did you know, these small, simple moments would be the foundation of a love that would grow with you, one that would shape your every feeling for years to come.
Years passed, and the innocent feelings you had as a child grew complicated, layered with insecurities and fear of change. By the time you reached high school, Carlos was no longer just "that boy next to you." He had grown into someone everyone noticed, with his easy charm, his passion for sports, and the same unfiltered laugh that always made you feel like the only person in the room. It wasn't just the small things that made you realize you were in love with him; it was everything about him, the way he treated people, the way he never held back.
You watched him from across the cafeteria, trying not to be obvious. Carlos was surrounded by his friends, laughing and animated, and you could see why everyone liked him so much. But you kept your feelings locked away, never daring to say a word. You were terrified of what would happen if he knew—terrified of losing him, of the awkwardness that might come with a confession.
"Are you staring at Carlos again?" your friend teased, nudging you playfully.
You jolted, quickly looking down at your food, cheeks flaming. "No, I was… I was just lost in thought."
"Yeah, sure," she said with a smirk. "You've got it bad, and you know it."
You groaned, hiding your face. "I can’t tell him. It’d ruin everything."
"He’d probably be flattered," she said gently. "But I get it. Some things are scarier when it comes to best friends."
A part of you wanted to believe that maybe, just maybe, he might feel the same way. But you couldn't risk it. So you kept quiet, holding your feelings close and letting them simmer in silence. There were moments when he looked at you, really looked, and you'd find yourself wondering if he could see the way you felt. But every time, he'd just flash you a grin or make a joke, and you’d brush it off, convincing yourself that he couldn’t possibly feel the same.
You told yourself that being close to him as his friend was enough, even if it hurt sometimes to keep the truth hidden.
The day he introduced his girlfriend to you, it felt like the world was crashing down around you. You plastered on a smile, trying to ignore the way your heart seemed to shatter into a million pieces.
"Hey, this is Isabela," Carlos said with a bright smile, his arm slung casually around her shoulders. "Isn't she amazing?"
You forced a laugh, pushing down the wave of jealousy and sadness that threatened to spill out. "Yeah, she seems great," you managed, feeling like every word you spoke was a lie.
Isabela was everything you weren’t—confident, beautiful, and effortlessly charming. She seemed to know Carlos in ways that you didn’t, ways that you wished you could. You watched them together, the way he looked at her, and it tore you apart. But you stayed by his side, putting on a brave face and pretending that you were fine.
"Are you okay?" Carlos asked one day, noticing the sadness in your eyes.
You forced a smile. "Of course, I’m just tired."
He gave you a long, searching look, as if he could see through your mask. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"
But you couldn’t tell him this, not now. So you just nodded, hoping he’d never find out how deeply you were hurting.
Years passed, and one day, Carlos showed up at your door, his face pale and eyes rimmed red. Before he could even speak, you wrapped him in a hug, sensing the heartbreak he was carrying. Isabella had broken up with him, and he was devastated.
"I thought we had something real," he said, his voice breaking. "But she said she couldn’t handle it."
You held him close, soothing him with gentle words, even as your heart ached at the sight of his pain. Part of you felt relief—relief that he was no longer with her, that there might be a chance for you. But mostly, you just wanted to be there for him, to be the shoulder he could lean on.
"I’m here for you," you whispered, your hand running comfortingly over his back. "You’re going to get through this, Carlos. I promise."
He looked at you then, and for a moment, something seemed to shift in his gaze. But he was hurting too much to notice it, and you were too afraid to hope.
Months after the breakup, Carlos found himself looking at you in a way he hadn’t before. It was small things—like the way you laughed at his jokes, the way you always knew when he needed comfort, or the way you were just there, unwavering in your support. He began to realize that maybe, all this time, the person he was looking for had been right beside him.
He wanted to tell you. Wanted to confess that he felt something he couldn’t quite explain, something warm and soft that made his heart beat a little faster. But he held back, afraid that maybe he’d missed his chance, that his feelings would only complicate things.
For now, he decided, he’d admire you from afar, letting his feelings settle and hoping that one day, he’d find the courage to tell you.
Because love, he realized, was worth waiting for.
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coucouatoi · 15 hours ago
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take it as a compliment | h.s.
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Pairing: Harry Styles X Reader
Warnings: smoking, swearing, light angst, making out
A/N: Got a request for Outgoing Harry/Shy reader and then this happened. I'm actually so in love with this so I hope y'all enjoy :)
Summary: Your band is out of a main singer after a petty feud. The hunt for someone new is pure torture, not a single audition has peaked your interests. None until he walked in.
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"Next!!" your band's drummer, Maeve, exclaims with an exasperated tone. The person who was auditioning scurries off the small stage, too embarrassed to say goodbye. They were the 10th person to audition today. Ten people have gone on stage and tried to show off their singing skills but no one has been even remotely close to good. You're starting to suspect that all of these people are pranking you. There's no way that this many people are tone-deaf... Right?
You look back up when you see someone new walking on stage. Your eyes widen in surprise when you see who's next to audition. Harry Styles, the myth, the legend. He's a star member of the swimming team, captain of the rugby team, honorary member of the debate team and the most sought-after guy at your university. He is probably the last person you expected to show up for your band's audition... You don't even know if he can sing.
"This is going to be hilariously, so happy we are filming" Riu, your band's bassist, chuckles under his breath. You shrug with a small smirk, guess he wants to join today's humiliating compilation of failed auditions.
"Hello everyone, I'm Harry Styles auditioning for lead singer? I guess" he laughs at himself, now this is something you've never seen... a nervous Harry? Could this be an act??
"Don't sound too excited now" Maeve rolls her eyes, "What are you going to sing?" she clicks her pen ready to write the title down.
"October by Broken Bells" he speaks more confidently into the mic now. Your eyebrows raise, shocked. You would have expected something a little more mainstream maybe something currently in the top 10 chart or even an old classic. Riu presses the record button on his camera and rearranges the tripod to better capture Harry.
"Whenever you're ready," You say softly as you hope for the best, your behind is really starting to hurt after sitting for so long hopefully you can leave the auditorium soon.
The man onstage takes a deep breath before pressing play on the acoustic track on his phone.
Soft guitar strings start playing and only a few seconds in Harry starts harmonising with the instrument before the lyrics come in. And when they do... Your jaw hits the floor. The voice that comes out of his mouth would have been impossible to imagine. It's not a very vocally powerful song but requires a certain knowledge of music to get it right. He sounds beautiful and enchanting.
Riu, who's sitting next to you, shakes your arm making you turn your head to him. He mouths "What the fuck?" and you only nod as an answer completely bewildered.
He doesn't move around the stage or anything, just stands in the same spot and sings. Sings better than anyone you've heard today. Better than your past lead singer you're sure. His eyes are shut in what you have to assume is concentration but he could just be too nervous to look at you and your bandmates. His dark hair is pushed back out of his face letting you see his features, his furrowed brows and the sheen of sweat on the tip of his nose.
The song ends and he finally opens his eyes, gagging your reactions. You make sure that you've closed your mouth not wanting one of the first times he really looks at you for your mouth to be wide open...
"Do you write your own songs?" Maeve breaks the silence.
"I have some written yes" he answers quickly, a small jitter going through his body. Excited that he wasn't immediately shooed off stage.
"Is this a serious audition or are you just joking around?" Riu then asks having had enough of this long and boring day.
"Serious, I love singing" he nods quickly, "And I think I'm pretty good at it" Ah! There's the cocky attitude you've gotten used to from him.
Maeve grabs your arms from across the table tugging you towards her, Riu in the middle simply lowers his head closer to hear what's about to be said.
"What do you think?" She asks looking deeply into your eyes. You nod before answering already conveying your approval.
"He's really good guys, winning the UK universities competition good" You definitely see him adding a lot to your group. He's got the charms, the voice and the confidence to get you all the way to the finals.
"We're really accepting Harry Styles into our band?" Riu sounds annoyed but you know that he approves of this choice too...
Here goes nothing.
-
It's officially been two weeks since Harry has become your lead singer and he has not been on time for any of your practices. He's always got some elaborate excuse explaining his tardiness. More often than not he demands multiple breaks to go out for a smoke "Helps the vocals ya know?" he laughs before leaving the room. Maeve is one hair off of kicking him straight out but you've unfortunately entered his name down for the UK competition... and Harry knows this. Both of your other members have tried to reason with him, without success so they've told you that it's your turn to try, and try you will.
There's one hour left and Harry is out on another smoking break you choose this time to go out and attempt to talk to him. You haven't had many one-on-one conversations with him since him joining you. You're still intimidated by his status, his popularity, his reputation, his looks...
After leaving your guitar behind, you head out to find him leaning against the brick wall of your school, his head is tipped up and cigarette hanging off his bottom lip. You take a deep breath before walking up to him, mentally preparing yourself for this conversation.
"Is it your turn to tell me about the importance of punctuality, darling?" his lips form into a smirk as he hears your thick heels crunch the gravel as you move towards him.
"I guess so, the other two didn't work" you shrug leaning on the wall next to him. "Why did you audition if you don't care?" you ask him in a hushed tone, still surprised you have to have a conversation like this with him.
You don't see it but Harry's body tenses. Guilt flows through his veins and he looks at you but you're looking at the ground.
"I do care" is what he answers.
"I'm sorry but I don't believe you" You shake your head and finally meet his gaze, "Are you late for any other extracurricular activity you're part of?" your tone is unbothered but Harry feels it sting him, as if you insulted him... maybe you did. He thinks about it and... well he's not. He prides himself on being a stellar member of everything he's a part of.
"Why don't you treat us like equals? We are all part of the same team here" you add with a tilt of your head actually curious for an answer.
"I... Look, our other two members treat me like I'm lower because of how I act and who I'm friends with" he plucks the cigarette out of his mouth and stomps it under his shoe. He runs his hands through his hair and sighs, "I've gathered that you're the reserved quiet type but not one of you has tried to get to know me, why should I make an effort when none of you want me here?" with how rapidly the words are leaving his mouth you know he's been holding all of this in. You're stunned to silence.
"I don't feel welcomed so I'm not making an effort anymore" he walks away from you and from the building, "I tried to mend the gap by inviting all three of you over to my mates party last week and none of you showed... my message was left on read in the group chat" he looks at you and you don't see any malice or anger just... sadness? Disappointed? You're not sure.
His confession pains your fragile heart. He was trying, he had tried and your bandmates and yourself had only damaged the already non-existent relationship.
"I've never been to a party, I'm not great in crowds" you try explaining, "I barely even make it through our gigs, I'm always the first to go home" Harry nods in understanding, grabbing another cigarette from the packet he has in his pocket and lights it.
"Still could have said something... I know Maeve and Riu hate me so I guess there's not much I can do about that" he shrugs as he takes a drag. He's trying to brush off the emotions he just let himself have in front of you.
"I should have, I'm sorry" you mumble your apology still shocked that you've managed to get this far.
It's quiet for a few minutes. Harry focused on finishing his cigarette, seemingly needing to ease the tension he felt.
"I'll be better about my tardiness," he says after a while. You nod, smiling slightly when he looks over at you.
"Let me know when your next party is, I'll try and go" you offer, a peace offering between you and him. He laughs and shakes his head.
"Sure, darling" he stomps his second cigarette out and walks back over to you "Won't invite those two losers tho" he smirks at you before walking back into the building. You roll your eyes with a laugh and follow him back inside.
-
Harry S
10 Pleasing Road, Tomorrow 9 pm
See you there?
You
What should I wear? Should I bring anything? How many people are going?
Harry S
Whatever you're comfortable in, nope just yourself ;) And about 20 people nothing crazy
You
Okay, see ya
-
Oh god. You have no idea what to wear and you can't possibly ask Maeve or Riu for advice they'd need to know what you're dressing up for. You've been procrastinating your outfit choice all day. Your makeup is done dark and mysterious just how you like, your hair is up and out of your neck predicting that it'll be too warm wherever you're going but you're only wearing underwear... a matching set sure but not an appropriate outfit for a public outing.
You look at the time on your phone and your breath hitches, you're already past your maximum departure time... you're going to be late. This is not good. You contemplate texting Harry and telling him you can't make it but you want to have a better relationship with him you want to make an effort.
You find a long dark red floral dress that you haven't worn in forever and decide that tonight it will stop gathering dust. There is a slight chill in the outside air so you grab the crochet bolero Riu made you for your birthday. It's black with a ladybug charm in the center of it, she lands perfectly in your cleavage. You rush out of your room and out of your shared flat with Maeve before she starts asking questions. You slipped on your go-to heeled boots before running out of the building.
The address Harry sent you is, surprisingly, only a 15-minute walk away from where you live. Keeping a rapid pace is all you're focused on so you can make it with as little delay as you can. Being late gets your anxious gears running like crazy, your internal and external clock always chanting "Early is on time, on time is late and late is unacceptable!". You can thank your mother for that one.
You make it to the one-story townhouse at 9:28, you hear music from the outside and a few cars parked in the driveway and on the sides of the roads.
You breathe in and out deeply as you make your way to the door, calming your heartbeat and yourself. This is your first uni party, the first party that isn't family or Maeve/Riu related. Your first big girl party. It's nerve-wracking but also a little exciting.
As you're about to knock you realize the door is already ajar, you don't overthink it and head inside.
Turns out Harry had been pretty spot on with the number of people at this gathering. Doing a quick scan of the living room, after going through the small entrance, most people are sitting down, drinking and smoking different things. Only a few people look your way but they go back to their original conversations quickly, unbothered by another presence. You spot a table filled with different liquor bottles and mixers and make a beeline for it. Before you start mixing a drink for yourself someone calls out your name.
"You made it!" you turn your head and spot Harry making his way towards you. He's all smiles and bright eyes, he's got a beer in his hand and a cigarette in the other.
"I did, sorry I'm late" you grimace thinking about it again.
"Pff, no one's on time at a party" he waves it off before taking a drag, he blows it out away from your face and looks down at the empty cup in your hand.
"Why isn't there a drink in your hand, darling?" he asks you in mock shock. You shrug and gesture to the table, "I don't know what to make"
He nods and asks for your go-to spirit. Once you tell him he starts making a mix, only using the one liquor, finishing it off with a scoop of ice and a straw.
"Voila!" he winks as he hands you the now full cup. You take a sip and hum appreciatively.
"This is really good thank you" you smile in gratitude. Any worries that have been clawing at you since the moment you accepted to come are slowly disappearing. Harry seems genuinely pleased that you've shown up and that makes the overwhelming feeling large crowds give you dissipate. You should be able to stay like this for a while now.
"You look really nice, darling, I love your style" he lifts himself onto a stool, carefully not to spill his drink or drop his cigarette.
You can feel heat crawl up your neck and onto your face, not used to getting compliments. It's not that you haven't dated or hooked up with people but it's not something that just happens. Flirting requires a lot of energy from you, you're quick to feel embarrassed and shut yourself out just to process it all. Not that you think Harry is flirting or trying to get with you, he's just a socialite who's not shy to say what he's thinking.
"Just threw on whatever" you shrug avoiding his gaze.
"I'm sure that's an understatement but nonetheless you look gorgeous" he winks as he takes one last long drag before putting out the cigarette in the ashtray next to him and then throwing it into a trash can.
He's quite captivating to watch; his eyes are dark, an attractive smirk is always present, and wavy hair moves around with him and his tattoos. God his tattoos! You knew he had loads just by having seen his arms but now his button-down is pretty much unbuttoned at this point. You see many more that you never knew existed and it's only making him more handsome. The butterfly on his sternum, the two swallows beneath his collarbones, the fern leaves peeking out of his jeans; a very dangerous and tempting combination. You'll let your imagination run wild later...
"Mh, so um what does one usually do at a party?" Ah yes, a very natural change in conversation! You go Y/N, you mentally mock yourself with a subtle shake of your head. Harry doesn't seem to mind the switch or notice your mental scolding because he answers truthfully.
"Depends what you're up to doing honestly, I know someone has weed somewhere so you can join the stoners..." you shake your head, not your vibe. "You can dance in the basement that's where the music is playing and people are grinding" You shrug at that option not completely opposed to it. "Or you could go in the yard and join one of the many drinking games happening" That is a good option for later in the evening.
"Take me dancing?" your voice is a little high pitched, not completely confident in yourself but you want to make the most of this. It's not every day you'll be doing this kind of thing.
Harry doesn't answer verbally but he does grab your hand and guides you. His grip isn't tight you could easily free yourself if you wanted to but you want to make it to the dance floor... and holding Harry's hand is quite pleasant.
As he had previously said, the dancing is happening in the basement. This is where you realize Harry is probably the worst counter you've ever met because in this room alone there are at least 30 more people. The space is huge and open; no walls just another makeshift bar, large speakers, some funky lighting and some overused-looking sofas.
Feeling brave you pull Harry towards the other people dancing, and he follows with no hesitation. The beat of the pop song is good and gets your hips moving quickly, you'll never admit it but cheesy pop music is your guilty pleasure. Harry quickly matches your moves, smiling as you dance together he almost looks surprised that you're doing this with him. When you realize you haven't let go of his hand you quickly spin away in a somewhat casual attempt to free yourself, not that the handholding was bad. You just don't want to make him uncomfortable or maybe get anyone he's into at this party to think he's unavailable. The thought of him leaving you right now does make your skin crawl but you focus on dancing back towards him to finish your super duper casual and unnoticed freeing.
"You're a natural, who knows under all that eyeliner and glitter you liked bubblegum pop" Harry jokes as you get close to him again. You laugh and shake your head.
"It's all a distraction, Styles, I'm good at distractions" You wave your hands in front of his face with a spooky witch tone of voice.
"I don't doubt that..." he grabs your hand again and pulls you close to him, careful not to spill either of your drinks.
You feel the heat of his palm travel all the way up your arm and down the other. He's now deliberately taken your hand twice. Twice in the same hour. Hell in the same 5 minutes! God, he's so intoxicating. Your friends would not approve of the thoughts you're having. Riu would scream bloody murder and Maeve... Maeve would never look at you in the eyes again.
You chug the remainder of your drink and toss your empty cup onto a nearby table, you mentally apologize to the person who will pick that up later. Harry follows your lead and places his now free hand on your waist pulling you even closer to him.
"What do you think of the party so far?" he leans into your space even more, softly asking his question right next to your ear. You hum first as you angle yourself towards his own ear to answer.
"Not as crazy as I've seen them in movies or TV shows... but I think I watch too much American television" You laugh at yourself but you quickly still when you feel Harry's lips touch your ear.
"What? You're missing some cheesy games and making out with strangers" he teases you, tightening his hand grip on your waist.
"Something like that yeah, ha" Your breath is quick and uncertain. Overthinking how you're even supposed to breathe normally because you know Harry hears and feels your every breath.
"Mh, let me satisfy your wishes then" he pulls back and winks. "Hey!", he exclaims, "Anyone wanna play truth or dare?" at his question many people cheer affirmatively and he drags you towards one of the couches where everyone else follows suit.
The couch you're now sitting on has obviously been occupied by many other butts and now your own but you try to get that thought out of your head.
"You go first Haz, you initiated" you hear someone with a thick accent say.
"Fine, fine... who wants to ask me?"Harry playfully rolls his eyes as he leans back, his arms splayed across the top of the couch.
"Truth or dare?" someone new calls out.
"Truth let's keep it tame for now" he answers the crowd. You hear some people whisper to each other, debating what question they should ask now that they have free will.
"Did you actually fuck Olivia Flores while she was dating your mate Niall?" a high-pitched voice calls out. Harry rolls his eyes and breathes out deeply.
This rumour had spread all over the school through all clicks and social groups. Olivia was the most beloved student you could think of. She loves speaking with anyone and everyone, she volunteers every other day, and she's never in a bad mood or at least never lets anyone see if she is. The only time that you've ever seen her smile gone was when the rumours started. When everyone was whispering about her cheating on her boyfriend with his best friend. Niall is basically the embodiment of a golden retriever and people took the news of him being cheated on very badly. She denied it endlessly and tried to get people back on her side because her friends ended up turning on her. Harry and Niall both denied the rumours but there was no stopping everyone else from saying what they wanted. Especially after their break up and her decision to switch schools...
"I've said it a million times before, no. Never. I never have and never will because I know how much they still care for each other" he clicks his tongue at the end, annoyed at the question.
Some questions still cross your mind but you decide that his answer is enough. You choose to believe all three of them in this, that their denial is truthful and that Niall and Olivia breaking up after had nothing to do with the rumours.
"Y/N, in honour of your request, truth of dare?" Harry brings your thoughts back to the present, where everyone is now looking at you... analyzing. These people don't know you so you let them watch you even if it makes your skin crawl.
"Dare" might as well go past your boundaries even more. You're getting to know a whole new you tonight, it's exciting.
"Kiss me" he murmurs close to your ear, having leaned into your space. You chuckle pushing him away playfully.
"Come on! Be serious this is my first party game!" you poke his chest with your nail and squint your eyes. He can't just tease you like that! Pfff.
"Serious? You don't think I'm serious" he tilts his head to the side. His expression is unreadable and it makes you question whether he's being a goof right now or if he really wants to kiss you. Why would he want to kiss you out of anyone here?
You roll your eyes and push his face away from you. He looks shocked for a moment before letting a breath out, it almost sounds disappointed... can air sound a certain way? You're definitely overthinking this.
"A real dare please!" you squint your eyes at him in a playful manner. He shakes his head at you with a crooked smile, he's bewildered but you don't know that. You don't know how much he yearns for you right now. How much you attract him or how much it means to him that you're trying. Really trying to know him and make him your friend.
"Fine, I'll settle for the cheek" he winks and points to his right cheek which is inches away from your face.
You assess his expression, he's smirking again obviously happy that his teasing is affecting you. Ever so slightly furrowing his brows in worry that you'll reject that too. So. In honour of your first-ever big girl party, you do it. You kiss his cheek and you play dirty a little bit. Pressing your lips right to the corner of his lips. Right where they merge into the skin of his face.
"There! Now who's next?" you exclaim excitedly turning back to the group of people. A girl you don't know raises her hand and you dare her to do a shot of her least favourite alcohol. She walks off in search of it and your head is turned back towards Harry by a gentle hold on your chin.
"You're such a tease, gorgeous" his voice is soft but rugged almost sounding bothered by something... by someone?
"How so?" your lips form a small smile as you take a sip of your beer, you're conveniently sat next to a cooler full of them.
"You're irresistible" he replies with dark eyes, the hand on your chin moves to your cheek. The tips of his fingers tangling in your hair almost scratching at your scalp.
You don't completely understand how he's saying that about you when he looks the way he does. His hair is falling gorgeously onto his face as he looks at you, his eyes are dark and inviting, lips parted and numerous tattoos still on display.
"What are you going to do about it?" Wow! You're feeling brave tonight good on you! It might be the drinks you've been working at starting to make the anxiety you previously had melt away. Making the nerves calm and the fear of embarrassing yourself much less important.
"What do you want me to do about it?" his lips brush your own as he whispers his answer. You hadn't realized how close you'd gotten to each other; your chest is pressed to his, thighs seemingly glued together at the side, hands holding onto whatever part that isn't yet connected...
Before you can answer and quite possibly take him up on his first dare, your phone rings in your lap. You jump in surprise but Harry's strong yet gentle hold on you doesn't waver, he keeps you close to him. You glance down at the screen and see that Riu is calling you, the terrible selfie he took for his contact picture staring back at you. He has the habit of "stalking" you and Maeve on the Snapchat map, he says it's to make sure you're all in your usual spots. And... well... right now you're definitely not in one of your usual spots.
"Are you going to answer?" Harry asks with a slightly annoyed tone. You look at him again breaking eye contact with Riu's picture. You shake your head and take a deep breath, encouraging yourself. Harry's eyebrow raises in confusion but before anything else can be said you surge forward. You connect your lips to his desperately, forgetting everything else around you.
Harry's hand, the one that was on your cheek, reaches to the back of your head and pulls you closer. Deepening the kiss more than you thought possible. His other hand wraps around your waist and pushes you forward making your chest completely stuck to his. Your hands busy themselves as well, your right one tangles into his curls and your left grabs onto his forearm almost in an attempt to brace yourself. His tongue meets yours making you moan in pleasure. Who knew making out with someone could feel so good?
Harry doesn't stop, not for one second, as if he'd been wishing to do this for a while. He has but you obviously don't know that. He's been interested since his audition, he had seen your band before but never interacted. He always thought you were gorgeous but never had a chance to see if there could be any chemistry between you both. And now? Lord.
Someone around you hollers and it snaps you out of the bubble that surrounds both of you. You jerk away from Harry putting as much distance between you as you're able to on the otherwise cramped sofa.
"You two better go off to somewhere more private before we all need to bleach our eyeballs" The person sitting next to Harry laughs as he nudges him on the arm, shaking both of your bodies against each other. Harry shakes his head and playfully punches the person but you stare at him shocked. Shocked that you were just fully making out with him, shocked that he wanted to make out with you... Shocked that you're kind of wishing it kept going.
When Harry's head turns back towards you, you can't help but meet his gaze. Your own eyes are wide and just now getting back to focus, they had gone hazy with want but you won't admit that to yourself just yet.
"Let me walk you home? I know you have an exam first thing in the morning tomorrow" He asks sincerely, wanting to make sure you don't miss any essential studying you might want to do.
"Um, sure, a party on Wednesday is weird..." You shake your head in thought now just realising that you had completely forgotten about the test.
"Makes hump day less humpy I guess" he shrugs with a teasing smile before standing and helping you up off the sofa.
The walk back to your flat is entertaining. You get to know your new bandmate even more, truly getting to know him as a person. You share about yourself as well not wanting the conversation to seem one-sided. Turns out drinking a little alcohol makes you chatty.
Somehow, your left hand has interlocked with Harry's right one. How and when this happened you're not sure all you know is that you've had a painfully obvious blush on your face and neck ever since. You don't attempt to break the hold because... well... you really don't want to.
"Well, this is me" You turn to face Harry as you speak. You gesture to your complex vaguely still wanting to talk with him.
"Mh, quaint," he says without even looking at the building.
"Guess this is goodnight then" Your lips form into a small pout, disappointed that you have no real excuse to stay around Harry anymore.
"Guess so... I'll see you at practice tomorrow?" his hand tugs you towards him gently, leaving only inches between you. You bite your lip and nod as an answer all words having vanished from your mind. He smirks and bends down to press his lips on yours one more time. This kiss is much different than the one you previously shared, this one is only a short peck barely even qualifies as a kiss. You instinctively follow when he parts from you desperate for a real kiss.
"What's wrong pretty?" he's teasing you and you know it.
"Kiss me properly... leave me regretting coming back home to study instead of staying at yours" There's a sentence you never imagined yourself saying. You're feeling like a completely new you. Maybe it's the liquor in your system but Harry stops the nerves and the overthinking that's always going on in your head. He feels like a breath of fresh air and that is so fucking hot.
Harry doesn't hesitate to reconnect your lips again for a real kiss. He bites and drags your bottom lip towards him you moan at the feeling, quickly wrapping your arms around him to deepen the contact. Your tongue meets his between your mouths, it's not a battle, feels like they've been waiting to reconnect since they parted ways at the party.
"You're so hot Y/N" Harry practically moans out before slamming his lips back against yours.
Kissing someone has truly never felt this good.
-
The exam you only spent about 45 minutes studying for ended up being a total breeze as it was open book. Your nerves had immediately vanished when you'd stepped into the auditorium and read that on the board. But now your nerves are back up as your final period is about to end. Band practice is after this. You'll have to face Harry in front of both of your other friends... who have no idea that you've made out with the new member... twice.
Harry hasn't stopped messaging you all day thanking you for giving him a chance again and asking if he could take you out after practice. You haven't answered yet, every time you try to write one up your fingers word vomit and you end up deleting your drafts. You want to say yes to him but you feel like you might be braver telling him face to face.
When you hear your professor announce that he's dismissing you early you practically jump out of your seat. This could be the perfect opportunity to go see Harry early. He's been done with class for about an hour now and is already at the auditorium waiting so you rush over. You don't take the time to put away your pencil case or your notebook, keeping them in your hands as you make your way.
"Hope you haven't been ghosting me, sweetheart" Harry calls out immediately as you walk into the auditorium. He's lying down on the edge of the stage, a leg hanging off the side with his phone in hand above his head. He doesn't turn to look at you but you can't blame him so you're quick to walk to him ready to explain yourself.
"I wasn't I swear! I just kept overthinking my answers... thought I'd have an easier time answering in person" you tell him as you put down your things on one of the seats.
"Understandable, things can be more complicated to convey through a screen" his answer lifts a weight off of your shoulders. You were so worried he wouldn't understand.
"So, I'm glad you gave me a chance to get to know you" you start, "I know we weren't very welcoming and I'm sorry" You tentatively place your hand on Harry's chest, between both of his pecks.
"It's okay gorgeous, I know it's cause you were just so intimidated by my hot bod" he lightens the mood with his joke and you're so grateful.
"Mh, sure" you tease him with a shake of your head.
He gasps in mock offence batting your hand away from his chest. You laugh at his antics,
already thinking up your next answer. Harry doesn't let the hand that was on him go far grabbing it and tugging you closer to him.
"As for your other texts... I'd really like to go out with you later tonight" Your voice turns very weak at the end of your sentence, shyness taking over. Harry chuckles and tugs you to him again.
"You're so cute, darling" he smiles softly, "I'm glad I didn't scare you off" his free hand reaches out and wraps around your neck to cup your nape. He pulls your face down to his kissing your lips, once, twice, thrice...
"Riu and Maeve are going to be so confused when I tell them" you chuckle. Your friends might actually faint when you tell them you're going on a date with the Harry Styles.
"Let's just let them walk in while we kiss, easy way to announce it," he says with a wink. You smile and bend back down to lock lips... addicted to the way he feels.
"Or, you could write a song about how good kissing me is" you joke as you whip your hair backwards in an attempt to joke. Harry, however, takes your suggestion seriously.
"I've already got five written in my head, six if you kiss me again right now" And who are you to deny helping his creative juices?
You do end up shocking Maeve and Riu with your "very inappropriate spit swapping" Maeve's words, not yours.
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destinationtoast · 21 hours ago
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I know this is the least of our problems right now but do you think the US election results will impact ao3?
I am not a lawyer, nor a founder of AO3, nor a volunteer there, nor a fandom journalist or historian, so I'm pretty far from the best person to ask. I encourage any and all of the above to please chime in with more knowledgeable answers.
That said, I don't think the next few years will probably directly limit AO3 or its umbrella org, the OTW.* But that depends in part on members voting for board members who will uphold the organization's current principles. (Vote! Become a member if you're not already, and vote! Vote in ALL the elections you are eligible for and will be affected by!) And that doesn't mean a bunch of works won't become private, orphaned, or deleted.**
*A couple reasons for my cautious optimism: The OTW was formed with the preservation and maximalist defense of fanworks in mind. So the shifting US cultural norms and increasing purity culture can't easily change the OTW from within (as we've already been seeing in past years when some fans have disliked some content). And in spite of everything scary happening externally (and there is a whole fucking lot), the US still has far more constitutionally enshrined freedom of speech protections than most places in the world. It will take a long time to tear all that down. Some states and locales are doing a lot to try to challenge free speech, especially queer content and sexual content, and there will be more challenges. But many of those challenges will be defeated because of the First Amendment, and it'll take a lot of time and effort to push through any constitutional changes. You can donate to organizations like the ACLU and the EFF to help protect against the erosions of rights, in addition to supporting the OTW and the Internet Archive who work to preserve free speech rights and online rights. (Other suggestions of where to donate or volunteer are welcome in the notes!) Also, perhaps best of all, the OTW is a non-profit who owns their own servers, which makes it MUCH harder to change what they choose to host than if they relied on any external hosting services and/or had advertisers.
**The archive already has had a whole lot of fanworks shift from public to private due to external events, including the AO3 ban in China, and recent AI scraping of web content. I'm sure more AO3 users will choose to make their content private over the next few years out of a fear of potential personal risks of them being found, and/or due to new attempts to ban content. (Some users will also delete their works for similar reasons, though I urge people to consider orphaning them instead!) Downloading for personal use any fanworks you love is always a good idea, and even moreso at a time of great heartbreak and panic, like now.
*hugs* Hang in there, all, and continue to take comfort from AO3 & OTW as you survive the upcoming hard times.
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twilightkitkat · 3 days ago
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I'm so sorry if i'm annoying you. But like do you think in the movies he had some prepping before the bonding? We see him getting drawn on with sharpie by Dr. Hines and a shot of him getting injected with contrast agent for the X-rays. But i like to think they also coated his teeth in a clear liquid to strengthen them so he wouldn't break them biting down on his mouth guard during the adamantium bonding. That's why he avoids dentists now. Also he probably was injected with prepping fluid as these pictures show. And now he is afraid of needles and when Wade wants to take him to the doctor for check up routine he is nervous like a dog going to the vet. Thoughts on this?
You aren't annoying me at all, I really enjoy answering your questions because I love talking about science. If I don't get to it immediately, it's just because I'm thinking of an answer or I need to find time where I can go through and respond to my asks.
I actually used this same image as a basis for my knowledge about Logan's procedure. He definitely had prepping before the bonding. We see clearly how adamantium slices straight through regular bone, drills would cause his bones to break under pressure at the wrong angle.
I also think that they probably messed with his mouth some, whether it was a protecting or superpowered numbing gel. Logan has sharper teeth than the average person and a higher bone density, so they also would want to make sure they didn't break through his mouth guard.
Logan would have trauma around all doctors, honestly. It doesn't matter if it's a dentist or surgeon or just a check-up, he's immediately on guard.
Every part of him was violated in that procedure. His trust, his mind, his body, and his memories. He can still feel the uncomfortable itch as fluid was injected into him and the searing pain when the adamantium was bonded to his bones.
Being in any kind of medical situation reminds him of that pain and headspace and the panic he felt. He was screaming and thrashing and nobody fucking helped him. They tried to turn him into a weapon against his will. His body and mind will never recover from that.
I think that the best Wade is gonna get is an agreement for an at-home family doctor checkup. The thought of going into a doctor's office makes Logan anxious as hell, and he'd rather do it on his own terms where he feels more comfortable and in control. And Wade has to be there the entire time or he won't do it. Wade would lightly tease him if he wasn't touched by the thought that Logan trusted him enough to want him there for something tied to his trauma.
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funnyinsanegirl · 2 days ago
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Promposals [Touya Todoroki x Reader]
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˙⋆✮🪩As long as I look fly by prom night!🪩✮⋆˙
"Promise to get a little better as I get older. And you're so patient and sick of waitin" Prom - Sza
High school Senior Prom AU of my fav villain ◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠
HS! Semi-Normal! Dabi x F. Reader
⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎����༻⋆
WC: 1008
"Soo..." my best friend, Mina, started with a coy smirk, "anyone ask you to prom yet?" She nudges my arm, obviously hinting at my boyfriend.
I shake my head, adjusting the books in my arms. "Nah, I probably won't go anyway. Seems like a waste of time, not to mention money."
"It's our senior year! You're acting like your parents aren't loaded," she scoffs, clearly unimpressed by my excuse. "And really? I thought for sure Dabi would've asked you by now. You guys have been dating for, what, five months?"
"Yeah, I thought he would too, but it's whatever. He's just not really into stuff like prom." I shrug, knowing my boyfriend is the definition of lowkey. Honestly, I’m sure he thinks going to prom would mess with his carefully crafted 'mysterious bad boy' nonchalant vibe.
Her eyes widen happily as an idea forms. "I'm sure Kiri wouldn't mind if you tagged along with us!"
I give her a look. Her boyfriend, Kiri, is very outwardly lovey-dovey, and there's no way he'd be okay with sharing Mina on prom night. She catches the look in my eyes and immediately reads my mind.
"Yeah, you're right. Bad idea," she admits, rolling her eyes.
"Very," I agree. "You two have fun, though. I gotta head home and study for that econ quiz."
"Yeah, yeah, I'm sure you'll have just as much fun with that," she jokes, giving my arm a playful pat before waving goodbye.
I wave back and head out of the school, walking toward my house, which is a short distance away in the suburbs. Normally, I'd ride home with Dabi in his sexy black Mustang, but he skipped today, which, knowing him, isn't too uncommon.
I unlock my empty house—my parents are in France on business, so I’ve been left to die. Well, technically  they left me to "fend for myself," but it's basically the same thing. I kick off my shoes and head upstairs to my room, changing into some comfy lounge clothes before flopping onto my bed. I open my laptop and pull up my economics notes, trying to get through the material, but after a while, I realize I have no idea what the hell an "invisible hand" is.
I lean back against the pillows and let my eyes close. Studying is overrated anyway.
I woke up to the blaring sound of my phone alarm to take my vitamins that I had already taken earlier, but the alarm still ran incase I forgot. I groggily rolled over and squinted at the screen, still half-dazed from my nap. The time read 6:15 PM. Great. I’d fallen asleep for way too long. I rubbed my eyes, stretching as I sat up. My laptop was still open with economics notes, but the words blurred together like they were written in a foreign language. Ugh.
I pushed it aside and glanced at the clock again. Dabi would usually text me around this time, or he'd show up randomly at my door, leaning against the frame with that smirk of his. But today... nothing.
Sighing, I grabbed my phone, half-expecting another generic message from my mom or dad asking if I'm alive. But instead, there was a text from Mina.
Mina: "You sure you're not going to prom? Think about it! You'd look so hot in a dress, and I'm sure Dabi would change his mind n suck it up if you rly wanted to go. If he doesn't, still come and I'll make sure Kiri brings his best friend, so you’re not stuck third wheeling!"
I snorted at the part about Kiri's best friend. Mina's boyfriend has two best friends, Bakugo, who is painfully hostile, and Kaminari, who is super enthusiastic but also a little too much of a pervert, I'm not interested in either of those personalities. Either way, I have a boyfriend that I'm pretty exclusies with, and don't feel like pissing him off.
But the thought of prom? Of dressing up, of being surrounded by everyone else—feeling normal, like everyone else for a night—was kind of tempting. Even though I pretended not to care, I always wondered what it’d be like to go, to have that experience.
I stared at my phone for a moment, texting back:
Me: "I don’t know. It feels like too much of a hassle. You really think Dabi would go if I asked?"
There was a long pause before she replied.
Mina: "If u ask him? fat chance... But if you rly wanna go, I'll help u ask him!"
I could already hear her upbeat, enthusiastic tone in my head. It was like she was daring me to do it, challenging me to take that step.
I locked my phone, rolling my eyes as I flopped back onto my bed, already overthinking everything. As much as I hated to admit it, part of me kind of wanted to ask Dabi. Maybe he’d surprise me. But then again, maybe he'd just shrug it off and tell me he wasn’t into it, and I’d be left feeling stupid for even thinking it was a possibility.
Maybe I’d just let it go.
But a part of me couldn't stop wondering: what would it feel like to go with someone who actually cared enough to make the night special?
Just as I was starting to drift off again, my phone buzzed, snapping me out of my thoughts.
Dabi ❤︎: "You still up?"
I smiled to myself, feeling a little lighter. At least he hadn’t forgotten about me today.
Me: "Yeah, what’s up? :)" Dabi ❤︎: "Look outside." 
I raised an eyebrow, curiosity sparking as I looked at my phone. Then, without thinking too much, I got up from my bed and walked over to my window. My heart nearly dropped when I first saw the fire—until my eyes caught the message the flames had formed.
"PROM?"
A laugh bubbled up from my chest, and I couldn't help but giggle at the absurdity of it all. Running downstairs, I grabbed some slippers and hurried outside.
"Yes! But you really need to put this out!" I called out, smiling wide as I watched him casually stand next to the fire, hands in his pockets, looking like he hadn’t just used his quirk to set the entire front yard ablaze.
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e-vay · 2 days ago
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Evay QA Bulk Post 6
Here's another batch of questions.
Again, these do not include Domino or Phlox questions as I plan on addressing those in a separate post. Sorry for the delay on Phloxino questions, I just need to finish the final chapter of their story first.
Thank you all for reaching out ☺️
PERSONAL/MISC ASKS
toonfan91 asked: What is your favorite retro video game system, what would you say is your favorite retro game to play?
A: My favorite consoles would be the Super Nintendo, Gamecube, and the Gameboy Advance SP. Those are all so nostalgic for me and were integral to my childhood. I had the Sega Genesis as well but I didn't end up playing it nearly as much as the other 3. Top three of my favorite retro games would be Sonic 3 & Knuckles, Ms Pacman and Super Mario World.
Anon asked: omg! i wondered if cheese was just something you were super about in your teen years im so glad that cheese is still the #1 fave 🧀
A: Hahaha! Aww, you remembered that about me! Yes, I'm still a cheese fiend, forever and always!!!
Anon asked: Any writing tips and/or subversions on common tropes? - ✍🏻
A: I've said this before but I recommend really focusing on your character building. I personally believe if you can get the audience to care about your characters, the rest will work out. As far as subverting tropes, I'd just say don't default to what's easy. I remember writing a script in high school and it involved a "it was all a dream" ending and my teacher actually rolled his eyes at me and said "Don't do this to your audience. It's an easy out for you and a disservice to them" and that moment has stuck with me forever. So though I don't have exact advice for you, I'd just say keep your audience in mind. You want them to be happy that they read your story, not rolling their eyes. (You're a member of your audience too, so make sure you're happy with your story as well!)
Anon asked: Will your kid be named aroura?
A: Ever since I was a little girl, I always wanted to name my future daughter Aurora. Who knows if I'll ever have a kid and even if I do, I am not sure what their name will be. Aurora is definitely still one of my favorite names and I'd love to name my child that, but it will depend on what best fits that human :)
Anon asked: have you seen the until dawn remaster?? i know you did a drawing of that long ago!! have you ever drawn the actual characters? and also, how would you match the sonic characters to the until dawn characters? 😳?
A: I have seen the remaster but I haven't played it! It looks like such an improvement from what I've seen, and I honestly loved the original. I drew Ashley and Chris once, but for the life of me I can't find that file! It was so long ago, it probably wouldn't look any good now anyway haha. Hmm, it's a little hard matching Sonic characters to the Until Dawn characters without making them OOC. I guess if I had to pick, and with the caveat that this is a weird AU and characters are not 100% canon-accurate, I'd cast Amy as Sam (kind, gets along with everyone, doesn't like violence but can absolutely kick ass), Tails as Chris (because of his intelligence, his love for tech and his overall positive, good-natured spirit), Rouge as a mix of Jessica and Emily (covers the bases of intelligent, seductive, resourceful). I'm torn about casting Sonic as either Josh or Mike. Josh would of course be an unhinged version of Sonic which could be fun to explore but if you ignore the unhinged part, he still really suits Sonic as he is the core of the friend group and he is torn between fun-loving and masking his real emotions. Mike I feel like is a little more of the 'lead character' role that Sonic tends to fall into and his fear of commitment is pretty spot-on to our blue boy hahaha. Knuckles would be Matt because they're athletic and loyal. I'd probably choose Blaze for Ashley because of how polite and serious she can be, but I acknowledge it's not the best fit.
@bigklingy asked: Does your Lego Amy have a Sonic, like Duck Amy does? 
A: I don't own an official Sonic minifig yet. All I have is this cursed knockoff hahaha. One day she'll have a real Sonic for her to love.
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MISC SONIC ASKS
Anon asked: What elements could the Sonic cast bend based on their unique traits?
A: Sonic would be air because he is the wind. Tails would be lightning due to his affiliation with technology. Knuckles would be earth, obvious reasons (though fire works too, especially if you take into consideration the flames of disaster haha). Amy would be fire, due to her passion and also if you read her fortune cards guide, she says her favorite of the elements in her deck is 'fire.'
Anon asked: Quick question, have you ever read the Archie comics? If so, what’s your opinion on scrouge?
A: I'm not a fan of either.
chrismantike asked: I’ve been seeing this debate a lot everywhere and I want your expert opinion on it. Since you do know about DBZ I was wondering if you think Sonic can actually beat Goku?
A: I'm always going to go with Sonic on this debate. He's defeated monsters, deities, A KILLER MOON?! He can defeat most enemies in his normal state but when he goes super, enemies don't stand a chance. Meanwhile how many times does Goku need to 'level up' his Super Saiyan form just to fight an enemy? (this is all in jest of course) Hedgehog wins.
Anon asked: do you like team chaotix? If so, who’s your favorite character??
A: Team Chaotix is not my favorite group haha. If I had to choose a favorite amongst them, it'd be Espio. I think he's funny even when he's not trying to be.
whiteghos asked: Can you summarize (if you can) what happened in TEIU by Kbspeeding? I wanted to know what happened before lil’ rory and Shadow got all dirty and beat up and what happened during that chapter. I really wanted to read it so if you can that’ll be great!?
A: I sincerely wish I could, but "The Evil In Us" was so long ago that I don't remember the details well, and KB deleted her account and all of the pages of her fic with it, so I haven't been able to reference it in ages. I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help.
Anon asked: How would you imagine Amy in her teen years? -✍🏻
A: I already picture Amy as we know her as a teenage Amy. Especially her in Sonic Boom, I think that's a teenage/young adult Amy.
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MY OCs/AU ASKS
Anon asked: I have this question on my mind for awhile now, how did you make or come up with and Amy’s and Aurora’s clothes designs? They are amazing ☺️☺️
A: Well that's an incredibly kind thing for you to say! I honestly don't feel like I did that great of a job with Amy, I just put her in clothes I'd like to see her in haha. I wish I had put more thought into her outfit but I can always redesign in the future. With Aurora (and any of my OCs, really) I just experiment with things until I figure out what works. I try to first get into the mindset of the character and determine what fashion trend best suits their personality, and then I'll do research on that style and then try to come up with something based on that. Aurora's style is on the spectrum of "Eclectic" and "Fun" and "Funky" fashion trends, so her outfits are based on that. If you're curious, I have a whole Pinterest board dedicated to my AU and there are sections for the different characters' fashion!
Anon asked: Are you going to make more ship/fan children one day, or will you just stick with Tumble, Ruff, & Aurora??
A: Methinks you've forgotten the other 8 fankids I've made! But that's okay 😜 I love creating characters and I have no plans on stopping that any time soon. That could be OCs that aren't related to anyone, OCs that are the parents of characters we know, or fan children. I don't know what I'll be doing next, but there will definitely be more new characters in the future.
charlieangel345 asked: Hey, evay, What do you think Amy and Aurora’s favorite anime? I think Amy’s favorite anime is fruit basket and Aurora favorite anime is sailor moon.
A: I think you're absolutely right! :) I think Amy might also be a fan of Ranma 1/2 as well. I'm not all that current with anime so I can't make many more recommendations that suit them.
supersaiyaman85 asked: How do you think it would go down if CC ever met Cream or Zooey(Tail's crush from Sonic Boom)?
A: I have a script for a comic that involves CC and Cream interacting, I just have to get around to drawing it. As far as Tails' past crushes like Zooey, CC is very jealous so ... she wouldn't handle it well lol
twistedchaos101 asked: Does Aurora know her grandparents? How is the relationship with them?
A: At this time, Sonic does not know Phlox is his dad and Domino is deceased, so to their knowledge Aurora does not have grandparents on her dad's side. Aurora would know her Grandma Lulu and Grandpa Clay, but Amy is sort of estranged from them so they aren't a major part of her life. They're the kind of grandparents that send a ton of gifts on holidays and birthdays but only visit maybe once ever few years. She loves getting to see them though and they absolutely adore her!
abbysulf asked: Has there ever been a moment where Sonic went dark to save Aurora? Like, was she in so much danger that he would risk his mind and body to save her? And not from Shadow lol
A: In my AU's canon, there hasn't been any moments like that. I like to joke about Sonic turning dark any time he's even mildly upset, but I don't mean it seriously. And as Aurora was growing up, he kept Aurora so safe to the point it was almost smothering, so she wouldn't have ever been in any real danger. But if she were to ever have her life threatened, yes he would lose himself in order to protect her, without hesitation.
Anon asked: We all know Sonic and the gang for saving the world in their world and they have alot of fans but what about in your story? Are they famous and their fans are surprised when they heard that Sonic and Amy got together and had a child same with Rouge and Knuckles but they adopted instead?
A: Even in my AU, Team Sonic is famous. Not to the point where they're like celebrities and have paparazzi following them everywhere, but the average citizen knows who the members of Team Sonic are and some people do get kind of starstruck around them. As they all reach older adulthood, Sonic and Amy's lives get a little more calm and domestic so they are less in the spotlight compared to Tails who is the CEO of his own company and Knuckles who is running the Young Heroes program. Maybe the average person might be surprised that some of their heroes ended up getting married and having their own families, but again I don't picture Team Sonic's personal lives in tabloids regularly.
Anon asked: I actually wanna know how well Aurora takes shots (At the doctors)from a baby all the way up to a young adult
A: Aurora sure wouldn't like shots, but she's never necessarily been scared of getting them. If anything, I could see the DOCTOR being more afraid of giving her a shot. Imagine both Sonic and Amy giving the doctor the death glare with the unspoken threat of "You better get this done quick and if you cause any extra unnecessary pain, we will both end you." They've got a good routine down where Sonic distracts baby/toddler Aurora until the shot happens and then both he and Amy quickly smother her in hugs and kisses and praises so she is only upset for a brief moment.
*The next question is a Shadora Ask. Skip if you don’t like Shadora
Anon asked: Why does Sonic spy on Shadow and Aurora when they go on a date or when Aurora visits Shadow's house?
A: Sonic is an overprotective dad and he doesn't like the idea of Aurora dating anybody (even though she's a grownup). It doesn't matter who she was dating, he doesn't think anybody is good enough for his baby girl. He spies to make sure they're not getting into trouble (it's just for the sake of comedy, don't take it too seriously).
*The next question is a Shadora Ask. Skip if you don’t like Shadora
djanims asked: maybe weird question but has aurora ever seen shadow in his super form and if not what was her reaction?
A: She has! I've drawn them together in their super forms before :) She thinks he's an angel
*The next question is a Shadora Ask. Skip if you don’t like Shadora
Anon asked: Has Shadow told Aurora about who Maria was in your continuity?
A: Absolutely. Maria played a very important role in his life, so of course he'd talk about her. The grief will always be there but with time and by becoming more comfortable opening up to Aurora, he finds it easier to reminisce on the good times he had with his sister.
*The next question is a Shadora Ask. Skip if you don’t like Shadora
Anon asked: How did Sonic and Amy react to Aurora and Shadow having 8 children like I just imagine *first born* "Oh my goodness congratulations!" second born still happy. At the 8th their like "Wow... Rory that's um great... Lots of grandkids.." So yes that's how I imagine it going but how about you, this question has really taken over my mind. 🤣❤️❤️
A: Hehehe, 8 grandchildren is definitely a lot. BUT! I headcanon that Mobians are a bit more like animals than humans are, so the idea of 'litters' isn't totally foreign (though maybe not as common in modern day Mobius). In my AU, Shadow and Aurora have three litters (so far, hehehe) so it went 3 kids, 2 kids, 3 kids, so they weren't exactly expecting to end up with 8 children, but they're happy all the same. I think Amy would be over the moon no matter what. Sonic would love all his grandkids and be excited about all of them, but also I'm sure he'd be secretly laughing it up at how chaotic the Shadora Home must be at all times and he's just glad that he and Amy had it super easy raising their only child. Plus I could see among friends and family there's an ongoing joke of "So... Aurora, Shadow.... How many next time?"
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SHIPPING ASKS
kkrucy asked: What your opinion on other ships then sonamy?
A: There are plenty of ships that I like and there are plenty that are not for me. I don't like to announce the ships I don't like, there's no good in doing that. Some that I like include (but are not limited to) KnucklesXRouge, Shadamy, Sonadow, SonAmyShad, MetAmy, VectorXEspio, KnucklesXAriem, RougeXTopaz, WhisperXTangle, Dr.RobotnikXAgentStone (from the movies), SilverXBlaze, I even like BlazeXRouge if I'm being honest (You can blame TMOSTH for that!)
scaredforcewielder asked: I know it's a bit early, but would you consider doing Sonic and Amy's first Christmas as a couple?
A: I know I did it off-season, but I already made a several Sonamy comics for Christmas this year. I always want to draw more Sonamy and I would love to draw their first Christmas as a couple, but honestly I don't know that I'll have the time to do that this year. I hope those mistletoe comics helped to tide you over!
dean-alice-rose asked: What is your favorite sonmy moment? And it can be in your comics or official. Also what is your favorite comic that you made?
A: Gosh, it's really difficult to pick a single favorite Sonamy moment! If I had to narrow it down to just a few... One would definitely be episode 52 of Sonic X where Sonic returns to their planet and he and Amy have that heart to heart. I can't tell you how many times I've watched that scene, I found it to be the epitome of romance even as a kid! A small moment that actually meant a huge deal to me was in The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog, where Sonic calls Amy "radiant." It's just one line, but wow, what a magnificent compliment! That's way more powerful than simply calling someone 'pretty' or 'great' in my opinion. I have too many favorites, I could go on forever haha! I don't really have a favorite comic that I made, they all mean a lot to me. "My Gal" is maybe what I'm most known for and that's great because it was so personal and I poured SO MUCH of my heart into it. But I have fond memories of every single comic I've made and each one has helped better my writing and drawing, so they're all special to me no matter how silly or serious they are.
Anon asked: In the future, would there be a chance to see CC and Tails again? I always adored CC and loved her design, plus her relationship with Tails. I was just curious as to if you had any future plans for them?
A: Definitely! I have plenty of ideas for them, I just need to dedicate the time to drawing it out. I'm so happy you enjoy that pair so much!
Anon asked: What are your thoughts on Metamy? (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)
A: I ship it! It's not at the top of my list but I still think it's super cute and no matter what, I've always had the headcanon that Metal has feelings for Amy (he's meant to be like Sonic, after all, so if I believe Sonic likes Amy then surely Metal would, too!)
Anon asked: Do you ever compare video game couples to each other? - ✍🏻?
A: Of course, it'd be impossible not to. Personally I relate Sonamy to NathanDrakeXElenaFisher (Uncharted) the most out of all video game couples. Both pairs have an undying love for adventure and enjoy traveling the world. Elena/Amy are definitely more cautious and careful than Nathan/Sonic who're a little more gung-ho, but in the end they make a great team and can keep up with one another.
whiteghos asked: What is Sonamy’s love language? >v< <3
A: I always say that Amy is the physical embodiment of love, and because of that I think ALL the love languages suit her! She expresses her love in every way possible and I'm sure she'd be happy to receive it in any way Sonic is willing to give it 🥰 It makes sense to me that Sonic's would be Quality Time and Acts of Service. Sonic always loves to do his own thing, so whenever he's willing to spend his time with Amy (whether it's grabbing dinner with her or even if it's just sitting in a pile of hay with her), I think that says a LOT. I don't think Acts of Service requires explanation.
*The next question is a Shadora Ask. Skip if you don’t like Shadora
whiteghos asked: What is Shadora’s love language? >v< <3
A: This is hard to narrow down and I feel like love languages fluctuate. For now, I'd say they both share the love language of Physical Touch. Individually, Aurora leans more towards Words of Affirmation and Shadow is Acts of Service.
*The next question is a Shadora Ask. Skip if you don’t like Shadora
Anon asked: Are you gonna make a full comic on Shadow and Aurora first date like you did with Sonic and Amy?
A: I'm not 100% sure if it will become a comic. I definitely have a fic in mind, and maybe I'll do some supplemental drawings to go along with it. Sonic and Amy's first date was 'easier' because Sonic and Amy already have an established history. Shadow and Aurora have to get to know each other before they start dating, so it'd be easier to accomplish in a fic rather than a comic. If you haven't seen it already, I did write a summary of their first date.
Thank you all for the questions!
Evay QA Bulk Post 1
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lawofangie · 2 days ago
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Hello. I just saw your post about your manifestation journey while struggling with depression and I’ll probably just be another rant about “how difficult it is to manifest”, but honestly I just want to talk a little bit.
I’m at work right now. I’m a trainee in a law office and my relationship with my boss is deteriorating gradually.
While I was at school, I would always think that I would be happier at a job, because I like to feel useful and competent. But now that I have a job, I just feel miserable.
I already received complaints twice about “being distracted” and “not doing my best”, which came as shocking because I’ve been doing my best. I have two bosses and while one looks like she really appreciates me, the other one might be the contrary.
I always fails to do what she wants me to do.
So I have been having really tiresome dreams. I had one where they asked me to type a document and after a while it turns out it was a “you are fired document” and asked me to sigh it.
They laughed and said that “I wasn’t doing enough” and “I wasn’t attending my classes at college” which I WAS but it didn’t matter.
I actually can’t imagine my life better. It’s like my mind just blocks it from me. I feel like I can’t delude myself even if that’s what I want the most.
I really want to just escape and live happily but I just feel trapped and miserable. I think I can predict what you are going to advice me but…I just don’t know what to do. I’m scared.
this is actually kind of relatable. i've felt similarly at many points in my life, i struggled to function, i thought external things would make me happy, applying the law was difficult. i couldn't imagine my life any better either. i understand where this is coming from, i'll try to give less generic advice, but i'm going to be brutally honest, and, this still won't be anything special. its important to remember that regardless of what i say here, manifestation is still just assuming you have your desire and persisting in that fact.
anyways, it honestly gets to a point where you have to realize that you're just wasting your time feeling trapped and scared. you're doing yourself a disservice. no one and nothing can save you, nor is anything or anyone going to. as unfortunate as your circumstances are, you have to do it yourself.
you have to take what you want and prioritize that above how you feel, anyone's made you feel, and how anyone feels about you. your life is meant to revolve around you and no one else. its YOUR life for a reason.
you SHOULD NOT waste the best years of your life being miserable, feeling like a failure, like a victim, like you can't change, like you're trapped like this forever when that's completely illogical. everyone and everything changes. people change in age, appearance, personality, sexuality, preferences, etc. it's physically impossible to be incapable of change unless you're not alive. people change all the time.
you genuinely do not have the time to be so self loathing and miserable, not when you're going to literally grow old one day. and according to those who've made it there already, that day comes fast. do you want to look back at your life at 80 and see what you wasted it doing? when all this information was right in your face? when all you had to do was take a chance and have some faith in yourself?
changing yourself isn't impossible, you're just too scared to assume anything good about yourself, perhaps because you've gotten so used to being miserable. "changing yourself", by the way, just so we're clear, simply means to assume something new about yourself. for example, you already believe you are a failure, and to change would be to simply assume you're successful. that's quite literally it. you just believe in something without physical proof, that's assuming. we assume all the time. you're just assuming about yourself now. the law is extremely simple to utilize, but it's the simplicity that leads to people overcomplicating it themselves.
also, delusion is, by definition, a false belief that is resistant to change, even when presented with evidence that it is not true. an assumption, by definition, is a belief that is taken as true without proof or evidence. you need to realize the difference here. we are telling you to assume, not to delude yourself. we are promising you that the "proof" comes after you've fully accepted it as true. we're not telling you to actively deny something despite accepting it as true. what would be the point in that? if we're telling you that your assumptions, aka the things you believe to be true without proof manifest, why would we tell you to continue to accept something you don't want as true? does that make sense?
being delusional and making an assumption may seem similar in theory, but in practice, they are completely different. one is literally the result of a mental illness, the other is a very normal, very human behavior that we do every day. we make assumptions about ourselves, people, and situations. all. the. time. it seems like it's only a problem and called "delusional" when it's about yourself, and it's something good.
it's like being confident in yourself, believing in your abilities despite what others have to say about you. for example, you have a great confidence in a talent or skill, and the you believe that you will get better as you get older/more experienced/more knowledgeable, and you'll make it places and have great opportunities in the future. let's say some random person decides to insult you and say that you'll never make it anywhere in life. would it be "delusional" to not listen to them? to not let someone else dictate your future? or would that simply be having some faith in yourself and not letting others define you?
this is literally all we're telling you to do, believe in yourself even if your reality seems to be against you. don't fight it, just accept that the unfavorable isn't true and move on. continue to believe in yourself.
and besides, if any person successful to date operated with that "i don't see it so it's not true" mindset, they wouldn't have become successful, would they? would anyone accumulate any kind of success with a mindset like that? the people who have came from nothing and made it to where they were now, had an unwavering confidence in their abilities and the fact that they'd be something one day. despite what anyone's told them, or tried to project onto them, it didn't get through to their unwavering sense of self.
the point is, we are promising you something. all it takes is for you to have some confidence in yourself. to quit hurting yourself. is that so hard?
anyways, the point of manifesting is when you change yourself, the things in your external reality change.
assuming is easy. believing things to be true without proof is easy. you just have to get comfortable with the fact that you need to change before anything changes externally. again, instead of believing you are a failure, that you are trapped, you simply assume you are successful, and you are not trapped.
people also change their minds all the time, they grow to have a different opinion, they realize they were wrong, they want to give something else a chance, or without a reason, they simply change their mind. these things are not impossible, they happen all the time.
i'm saying this to say that manifesting isn't being delusional. to be delusional is feeling stuck and like things can't change, when they so clearly do, all the damn time. you're not special enough for the concept of change to not apply to you. for instance, you are certainly not the same person you were when you were 6 compared to however old you are right now. you changed, therefore you are capable of changing, and i proved it to you with that simple example.
you only feel stuck because you decided you are, you decided that you'll never be unstuck, and so you haven't been. the law is working, just not in your favor. everything you see in your reality right now, perfectly matches whatever you've assumed to be true. that is not a coincidence. it's important to remember that the law isn't a thing with feelings, it does not care about you or your situation. all it does is continue to operate. it's up to you to use the law's indifference to your advantage.
also, you seem to have a victim mindset. it's very obvious in the way that you try to explain yourself, that you were doing as you were supposed to, but it still 'didn't matter'. you're putting so many things (your job, your bosses, proving yourself) on a pedestal, over what really matters, which is yourself. do you even like your job? did you pursue something you were passionate about? because if not, then you have no business subjecting yourself to any kind of mistreatment, not when you didn't even want to be there in the first place. you should be putting yourself and your desires before even thinking about pleasing anyone or meeting any kind of requirement.
your own standards and requirements should come first. remember : you chose to work for them. you have a choice. you also need to remember that your bosses and colleagues are regular people. outside of work (and in the workplace if we're being honest) they have no kind of power over you. you shouldn't be letting such irrelevant people in your life have the power to instill so much fear in you, to the point where you're having literal nightmares.. about typing a document incorrectly.
also, about feeling useful and competent, that's something you have to decide about yourself. are you useful? are you competent? do you honestly feel this way about yourself? definitely not, which is why you're seeking validation from others. but at the same time, it is what's made you so miserable, because you're definitely not getting that validation. and any you get only gives you a short lived feeling of satisfaction. your opinion on yourself matters more than what anyone has to say. that's literally why confidence and insecurity exist. and either way, you still feel a certain way about yourself that outweighs anything anyone has to say about you.
here's another example, let's say you've been insecure about your looks from a young age. if one day, someone randomly tells you you're beautiful or they think you're pretty, is all the insecurity you've felt for years suddenly going to go away? or will your mind find reasons to reinforce the fact that you don't feel beautiful? and if someone confirmed your insecurities, saying you weren't their type, they didn't find you attractive, wouldn't you just justify that reaction in your mind since you feel that way about yourself already?
with that in mind, how much does anyone's words really matter? do the words of others honestly have any significance when they aren't reinforcing something you already believe about yourself?
your reality works in a similar way. whatever you decide to assume/ accept as true/ shift your awareness to/ decide is true/ feel is certain, your reality will reflect. as well as a bunch of reasons to continue believing whatever it is is true. the law is very indifferent and has no bounds. it does not care about your feelings, your specific circumstances, and so on. that's why i'm telling you, you only feel these ways and experience the things you do, because you decided you were. this goes for being miserable, being stuck, feeling useless, feeling incompetent and living in fear. there are no exceptions.
so, with all that said, what do i suggest? first off, you need to practice being secure in yourself. work on being confident in yourself first, then work on your self concept. i say "confidence" as in feeling secure in yourself within the 3d. so, your looks, your body, your social skills, your physical skills, etc. because "self concept" has to do with having confidence in your manifestation abilities. find a helpful method that works for you, like affirming, visualizing, scripting, rampaging, or just simply deciding something new about yourself and accepting it.
self confidence has to do with things like liking yourself, being your own validation, having optimistic thoughts about yourself, and self efficiency. you can't care about what others think, you have to put yourself first, and you can't let anyone dictate your future. be selfish. the only thing that should matter is you and how something makes you feel. nothing bad comes from putting yourself first and not worrying about others.
once you feel confident in yourself, or even while working on your confidence, practice using the law. you could start by manifesting something small, something specific that would prove to you that you can manifest, then work your way up. manifest bigger things or just a large quantity of things, just to prove to yourself that there aren't any limits. remember, manifesting is just assuming: believing something to be true without proof. i mean that in the most literal, simplest way possible. like the example of success i used earlier.
once you've proven to yourself that manifestation is indeed real, play around with it. also, work on your self concept. decide that things always go well for you, that you deserve good things, you're the creator of your reality, learn to mentally reject unfavorable things in the 3d, and so on. this is what i would do if i were you.
i know this was kind of long, but i hope you understand my words and find them useful. feel free to dm me or send another ask if you have anymore questions. 🩶
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ninjagirlstar5 · 6 hours ago
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So, uh, I know recent news have been...not great. Particularly in the US. And I think it's important to acknowledge that.
However, I also think it's important to take care of our mental health and do something fun since we'd only be hurting ourselves with constant doom scrolling and fixating on the bad stuff 24/7.
So, I decided to officially open up simple Art Requests! And what I mean by that is I'm going to be drawing characters in the style of AVA/M stick figures! Both regular and in chibi style.
Examples:
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(If you follow @/a-student-out-of-time, you probably already seen this little chibi drawing of Umeko Hayase, who belongs to the mod himself, I made for fun since I sent this in an ask yesterday. I'm using this drawing since it best represents what I will do for the chibi sticks.)
All art requests for this will be digital and fully colored, but won't be fully rendered. I want to keep the drawings simple and easy to make for myself for as long as I keep requests open.
With that out of the way, here are some rules for what to send in:
Requests for AVA/M characters are obviously welcome and I will be using my own designs & headcanons for them when completing your requests.
For those who followed me for my DRA & SDRA2 stuff (mostly SDRA2), I will also do art for characters from the duology! They will just be turned into stick figures, hehe. (I may even do canon characters from the Danganronpa series in general if anyone sends requests for them.)
(Also, if you want either AIkado or IRLkado in your request, please specify which one you want. Same goes for other characters in SDRA2 if you want their teenager or adult versions.)
OCs (and sonas) are also allowed, whether Danganronpa, AVA/M, or not! A reference is required, though. And if your OC isn't a stick for AVA/M, I suggest giving me a specific color you want me to use for the OC that you feel fits them best since these will be done in the stick figure style.
No NSFW! I do not make that kind of stuff in my art, and anyone that requests that will be ignored or blocked if repeatedly asked.
Shipping is allowed, but anything that involves incest, child/minor x adult, and abusers x victims will be ignored and blocked. And yes, that includes adopted siblings/children, so no Mikako X Yamato and Mango X Purple nonsense. I will smite you on sight.
While I do enjoy toxic yaoi/yuri (*gestures to my Sannotori stuff*), the point of these art requests is to make fun and fluffy stuff, so if you request a ship like Sannotori, I will make sweet and kind art for them.
I have the right to NOT do a ship if I'm uncomfortable with it or just don't like it. (ex. Mango X Navy, Alan X Anyone, Chosen X Second/Orange, Mikado X Sora or Yuki, Mitch X Anyone, etc.)
(This includes shipping in SDRA2 in general due to a certain twist that makes it...a little strange. While I'm pretty sure all the characters are adults, I decided that it's best to treat it as more of a case by case basis and how big the age gaps are.)
I will draw a max of three characters per request.
If the request is a ship, please specify it to be romantic, otherwise I will assume it's just a friendly interaction between two (or more) characters. Or use their ship name (with the characters' names as well just to make sure I know which ones I'm doing).
If you have a specific scene for a request, tell me in your ask. Otherwise I will just do whatever comes to mind first. Edit: I forgot to mention this but this applies to which style you want me to do between regular stick or chibi. My bad. ^^;
Requests will be fluff and kind only! As mentioned before, the point of this is to do something nice and relaxing for everyone involved. And personally, I am not in the mood to make angst. Please respect that.
(Funny shitpost requests are also allowed, of course.)
I will only take requests through my asks, no where else.
And I believe that's it. This list of rules may get updated if anything else is brought to my attention, but yeah! I think I'm gonna leave these requests open for about a month so this will last until December 7th, 2024, at midnight! Any requests I haven't gotten around to by the deadline will still be completed if they're ones I want to do but anything sent after the date will be ignored.
Feel free to send in requests!
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diamondwerewolf · 2 days ago
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A Quick Chat About AZ
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Which won't be quick at all.
I've talked for a little about coming to understand Lysandre, and now I'd like to talk about AZ, who is still somewhat of a mystery to me. We know of his backstory, but what I'm missing is what defines his personality. We don't speak with him enough in game to know it, so I had to do some digging around so I can form some assumptions. Most of this post will be me using Canon and Non-Canon [But still official] sources to get a grasp on what kind of man AZ is, just in case we don't get more information about him in Legends ZA.
-I want to know what he's like, because I want to make more artwork with him. ^^'-
Before I get into what I've found, I want to first talk about a character who I think is clearly defined, by his sheer simplicity. That's right,
It's Larry.
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Larry, for example, has very clear likes and dislikes. He's an overworked, professional, brooding, middle aged man, who has respect for rules and simplicity. He dresses plainly, and uses relatively ordinary or normal type pokemon. He's vocal and assertive of his preferred lifestyle, to the point of stubbornness [ of which is only thwarted by his desire for his paycheck]. He also loves food and the pursuit of an extraordinary meal. Despite his introvert-like demeanor, he's shown to be friendly, deeply contemplative, and hiding a quirky, dad joke-like sense of humor.
With all of this, I can extrapolate what kind of decisions Larry would make if I were to put him in a new non-canonical situation. And, I can also define where I'd like to bend or add on to his personality in my own form of fandom play.
--
Now, back to the main topic. All of this to digest with a grain of salt. I also apologize in advance if I hop around a little between sources.
AZ, I can only assume is underutilized because of his grand age. 3,000 years old, means 3,000 years of knowledge or a direct eye witness of history. He wondered in search of his best friend, gradually witnessing the world transition from ancient to modern. Chances are, he can answer regional mysteries that gamefreak wouldn't want to touch upon. So, he's here one moment, and then gone the next after serving his key purpose in the game narrative.
Which brings me to all of the other official items I looked into and some thoughts on his intelligence. I watched his appearance in the Pokemon Generations Episode 18: The Redemption. [ no one asked but i think i prefer the japanese voice much more ] And I also was given a data bank to look through Pokemon XY game script.
AZ build the ultimate weapon. Though, if he had any assistance with it, it's unspecified. IF I RECALL CORRECTLY, in the recent XY development leaks, Sycamore, Lysandre, and AZ were all the same character, before the role was properly divided into three. Still, I'm under the impression, that AZ wasn't just a king, but a well respected researcher.
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There’s research material on the bookshelf [In Lysandre Labs] “The king was proud of the technology he had used to bring Kalos prosperity, but he couldn’t help but use it in a way that had never been intended... AZ, the man who was king, disappeared.”
I think, AZ being keenly intelligent, is an easy assertion to make. He could build and operate complicated machinery, and probably still can. There are even more side notes I can make about his more complex understanding of pokemon. I don't think I have the clarity of mind to pull out even more examples, so I'll use just this one:
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AZ does have a Golurk of unspecified age on his small team. I wonder...is it possible he built his Golurk himself? There are many pokadex entries stating the creation of, and ancient use of pokemon in these old cities. AZ appears to understand the infinite energy that dwells within pokemon well enough to contribute to the society he ruled over. I don't think 'artificial' pokemon construction is beyond his understanding, if he knew well enough that he could bring one back to life.
---
Moving along.
After building the weapon to revive his friend:
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"...his rage still had not subsided."
I absolutely love this flashback sequence. I love how they portrayed the rawness of AZ's emotions. The unnerving look in his eye as his horrific choice forms. You get the sense that he truly did just...snap.
Which Makes Me Wonder: How tethered is AZ to his emotions? Is he like Lysandre, who appears to allow himself to freely feel his own anger and frustration, letting it drive him to obssession. Does he have a slight sense of entitlement, too? Entitled to take the world's problems and other lives in his hands. If so, did he leave that wicked part of himself behind?
AZ is royalty. He's a former -literal- king during a time of war, unlike Lysandre who's a more metaphorical king during a time of general peace. That may be an excuse for him easily taking on, beyond important, harrowing decisions. I wonder if this was the most difficult point in his reign. That aside, AZ doesn't seem to be concerned with that title living in modern day.
He doesn't demand that he should be treated like his former title. I'm going to make another assumption that he has let that go a long time ago. He struggles with being forgiven, maybe even struggles with caring about himself. He's traded his old royal regalia, a robe, golden arm cuffs, and golden neck piece, for old, worn, patchy clothes. He doesn't care about his royalty, or his clothes, and AZ never makes any mention that I can remember about his own height.
None of it appears to matter to him. Only "where is she?"
---
Speaking of.
AZ's ability to hold on to hope is...something.
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When yeh know for certain sure yeh ain’t never gonna meet again... Well, yeh can give in and accept it. But if yeh think there might be a chance, and yeh wander the world for 3,000 years tortured by that flicker of hope... I tell yeh, sprout. I couldn’t have stood it.
I don't think I could have stood it either. To not give up on his Floette for 3,000 years, to muscle through that torture until finally you meet again. What would you call the kind of 'grit' that would make you endure something like this? In the XY manga, he's plagued by nightmares of his past. He described his ordeal officially in the game as 'endless suffering'. Is it a certain kind of stubbornness? A kind of unconditional love? I'm not sure... AZ, in another one of my opinions, has got to be one of the series' most strong willed characters. You can't survive 3,000 years with weak resolve. He can't die of old age, but..well...
...
Despite the horrors he's capable of, he's got a gentle quality to him. I like the contrast, between a giant and a pokemon so delicate and tiny. I'm sure the juxtaposition of AZ and his Floette is purposeful, and in itself helps inform of his character.
This is from the Pokemon Adventure XY Manga, and isn't canonical, but...look at him. I found him greeting Trevor's Flabebe so sweet. He's respectful to the children also, and doesn't belittle them in the slightest.
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His smile. He calls her beautiful, and she is! He has some stony expressions, but also some very softened ones in Anime, Game, and Manga. He hasn't lost his ability to smile after all this time. Which is nice...
OOF, I've been writing this for a long while, so I'll wrap things up. I can't trust myself to write a comprehensive summary, like Larry, at this time, but I hope to have one later. Again, I'm hoping Legends ZA will provide more before I start my true 'blorbo madness'.
Here are all of my assumptions in a list AZ is:
Extraordinarily Intelligent, capable of making and operating dangerous technology. I believe he wasn't just a King, but a contributing engineer/ researcher.
Deeply emotional, allowing himself to openly cry, feel anger, and sorrow. Despite his intelligence, his emotions can cloud his judgement. THOUGH, he may have much more emotional maturity now. [ i find it interesting both he and lysandre are allowed to shed tears ]
Strong of will, or is a person of unwavering conviction.
Stern, somewhat of a languisher, but gentle.
That's all I have for now. Let me know if anyone else has thoughts!
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wolvebonez · 2 days ago
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hypothetical fawn golden shaded grizzle!
Soooo as I have mentioned briefly I am in a wcrp, in which said wcrp uses genetic terms & has a genetic roller for rp. someone came in and asked what THIS beast might look like
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And so I figure I'll share what I came up with since it took me So Fucking Long and I do think enough ppl who follow me might be interested!!
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This is the end result!! I will be copy/pasting my explanation & inserting more images below
Im going to be using more basic explanations of a gene and only in relation to how they apply to this cat so im not writing 5 million word
To start, we have a regular fawn ticked tabby!
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Wideband then makes the hairs of the cat have more pheomelanin (golden/background color) and less melanin (fawn color), as well as usually restricting the melanin to the tip of the hair.
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Theeennnn we introduce silver (as seen below), which reduces the amount of pigment found in the pheomelanin; when combined with wideband making a cat look particularly pale (since any melanin in the wideband-effected hairs can also be broken up/less "solid," it can result in melanin looking more diluted/warm, it can also visually lighten the melanin areas on a cat.) I probably should've made the pale parts more desaturated at this point but ignoring that….
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This is where we get Really Hypothetical!
As far as I'm aware we don't really know what chausie grizzle is or does. I've seen sources like messybeast (lol) claim that it is just silver-tipping found in black chausies/melanistic jungle cats but I dissagree. I personally believe a theory [User] initially mentioned to me is more probable; the idea that it is moreso the expansion of agouti; Potentially making the tabby hairs of the cat have more melanin than normal. (Maybe also restricts it towards the base of the hair to explain the satin-like appearance it can have?)
So…given that they basically would have the opposite effects assuming that this is true, there's really no saying how they'd interact. They could cancel eachother out, one could be dominant over the other, ect… There's also no telling which one of these options is more likely.
I went with the idea that the grizzle would be more dominant/have more effect, but that the wideband could potentially still be in effect where the grizzle seems to be least present (around the belly & flanks) which kind of breaks up the solid-ness of most grizzle cats (since grizzle does vary a lot.)
Silver would still work the same throughout all of this & make the phaeomelanin a lighter almost-white color. (There's a potential grizzle also does this too? But. shrug.) …Again I really should've made the light yellow color more silver-colored but i digress.
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Now we have colorpoint! Also have no clue if it'd have some weird secret surprise fucked up effect on grizzle but it does seem to be a fairly reliable gene in that it is just a form of albinism so it should have a similar or same effect on everything. It just inhibits colors in the warmer areas of the body & allows it in the colder parts (thus, extremities!)
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....And from there you've guys seen what I did when I added the thai white! Not sure how DBE would effect it, but I made my best guess & it wasn't the most important part of this . adventure jdbhjhg
Oh, bonus picture of my canvas with the most refs i've ever used for one piece lol. (Digital piece, anyway. Ceramics is another thing entirely....)
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shoutout to @/felinefractious for sourcing pretty much all of said refs lmao
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my-mt-heart · 3 days ago
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Are they actually trying to make people question their sanity? What's the reason? Why do they put in undeniable hints at romance just to say "actually they're platonic and you're imagining things"?
It's just rly strange because if you're gonna write in romantic hints, the audience is gonna start thinking that's where it's going. They did it with darabelle, we weren't blind. No one saw the chemistry, but we could see the bed sharing and shoulder dabbing, so it was obvious the story was trying to go in that direction. The same is true for carol and daryl when you have fireside haircuts, romantic couple parallels with matching costumes, people calling them an old married couple, longing looks while a couple are dancing in front of them. That's the story being put out? And it's deliberate, no one is stupid.
So why do they do it? How does it help them to deliberately tell a certain story, then gaslight the audience in interviews and give no pay-off? It makes no business sense to me. It's not a will they won't they. It's something.. else.
When somebody repeatedly shows you who they are, believe them. Zabel is not an ally to Caryl, Carol, Melissa or the fans and never will be. Look at how he talked about the future of the show to THR as if Melissa doesn't exist. That right there says it all:
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I'm seeing a lot of people asking "well, if he hates romantic Caryl, then why did x, y, and z happen in the spinoff," but it's important to remember that there are multiple voices weighing in. It's probably safe to say that he didn't want anything suggesting a possible romance between Caryl, but somebody else did and when we take it into account that there was a pro Caryl marketing campaign going on up to a certain point, that Melissa's favorite scene got cut, and that the editing was horrendous, I think it's also safe to say that maybe we were meant to get more of the tone we wanted for the characters, but Zabel and the other male EPs blocked it in post production.
The whiplash is a result of a power struggle going on, not one person or a team of people struggling to make up their minds. I think what we see in the S3 teaser suggests that AMC wants to keep Caryl fans on the hook and they heard fans' complaints following Zabel's SFX interview, but I also think they're under the impression that they can keep dangling the carrot without ever properly delivering what we want which, again, is doomed to fail for multiple reasons, but one of them is definitely that Zabel and the other male EPs keep sabotaging that. The system they have going is not sustainable. AMC's only hope for growing their audience is to hire a different showrunner who appeals to Caryl fans and our best hope of making them realize that is to just keep talking about it.
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demigodsanswer · 2 days ago
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Percabeth Royal AU + First Time
I also got sent royalty AU + baby fic, so I'm going to combine them!
Vaguely high fantasy setting, but with more or an ancient Greek aesthetic than medieval England.
Annabeth is first in line for her mother's throne. Percy is like 5th or 6th inline his father's. And he'd probably never get it anyway. He's a legitimized former bastard after his father married his (low born) mistress after the death of his first wife.
But the two of them grew up together, and get along really well, and have stayed in contact through the years, even if they haven't seen each other in person in a while.
So when it comes time for Annabeth to make an adventurous match, she floats Percy's name. The marriage would strengthen the alliance to a formerly-rival nation, he's not so important as to cause trouble, but he is legitimate.
Athena isn't thrilled about this, but she allows Annabeth to make the proposal because she knows if she doesn't allow Annabeth to do the proper thing she wants to do, then Annabeth will do whatever she wants to do the improper way. Athena doesn't really expect Poseidon to accept.
But of course he does. This is a marriage well above what he expected for Percy. The marriage is arranged, and now it's time for Percy to finally see his best friend again.
He arrives, and he is the most handsome man Annabeth has ever seen. And that she wasn't expecting. She'd last seen him eight years ago, when he was a pimply 13 year old who was shorter than her. He wasn't that anymore.
And Percy is thinking similar things about her. He's pretty sure they're going to have a great marriage.
Athena's kingdom is a little more (a lot more) regressive on ideas of virginity, particularly for high-born girls, particularly for the heir apparent. So Annabeth has never so much as kissed someone in a meaningful way. She's read books, experimented with a few things on her own, and that's it. And Percy's culture expects proof of consummation the next day as part of the wedding contract. So Annabeth knows she will be losing her virginity on her wedding night. It's been discussed at length, much to her shame.
A week before the wedding, she confesses to Percy that she's nervous. Or, rather, she expresses her nerves by asking: "On the wedding night, what should I do?"
"What?"
"Is there something I should do to prepare? Is there something you like that I should learn about?"
"Uh ... no. I just want you to be comfortable and relaxed as much as you can. I will try to make it good for you."
"In your experience, do women do anything that makes it more relaxing?"
And Percy just has to sheepishly confess that he doesn't have experience of his own. "I'm a bastard. I never wanted to condemn my own child to that fate. Or disgrace a lady like that. Or pay for it and end up with some pox I'd give to my wife. So I've just ..."
"So we're both virgins, then?" Annabeth asks, not really realizing that that's a bit embarrassing for Percy in ways it's not for her.
"Yes," he said.
"That actually makes me feel a lot better."
The wedding night ends up being incredibly ... fine. It's romantic for sure. But the sex itself takes a few tries to get right, and then ends abruptly. But there's enough evidence the next morning to make the marriage count.
Conceiving an heir isn't a problem. Keeping it is. Annabeth has three miscarriages the first year. She and Percy decide to stop having sex for a little while, to let her body recover and let them both recover emotionally.
They end up taking a tour of the nation six months after they stop having sex (or P in V sex, they figure out the alternatives), and on the tour, they stop by a secluded waterfall. The guards are a little ways away, and they decide to fully enjoy the water.
They're hidden behind the waterfall, and Percy is so happy to be inside her again, he just starts talking about how his people worship the water, and believe they emerged from the sea itself, and that water is healing and life-giving.
When Annabeth suspects she's pregnant again about two months later, she insists they continue the tour because "it will be over soon."
But it isn't.
She returns to court wider than she left. This one she carries to term -- a healthy little baby girl.
They start conceiving all their babies in the water, just to be safe.
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invinciblerodent · 10 hours ago
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This, of course, is not to say that I wouldn't understand what is happening here. I can understand and be sympathetic to a character who I feel has done tremendous harm, and isn't acknowledging that the best possible thing he could do would be to stop hurting what yet lives.
(rambly thoughts after finishing 100% of the Crossroads under the cut- but with as few big spoilers as possible)
In vague and ever-changing terms, what I genuinely think (I, as a person, and not my Rook or my Inquisitor who are characters in this world and are -I believe, for their part in the story- rightfully angry) is that Solas' gravest mistake in the present is that he thinks that there is yet fixing the irreversible. That not only is there a way to overcome a change so fundamental that a mortal mind cannot even comprehend it (because of time, scale, and its foreignness), it is also he alone that is capable of deciding that it should be reversed. He thinks that because what he knew is, in his mind, so clearly objectively better than what really is now, it is worth sacrificing everything for.
But that's not right. That's the sunk cost fallacy at work, culminating in a belief both myopic, and egotistical of him.
Somehow I can't shake the feeling that Solas and his plans for the world carry some of the same threads and tones as the "Synthesis" ending to Mass Effect, in the sense that at its core it is about one individual, however good or powerful, thinking itself worthy and capable of making a decision that affects billions. And they may be acting out of benevolence, but they are nevertheless so focused on their own ideals that they have lost the ability to recognize that the very fact that any one creature can be granted the power to decide others' fate is immoral.
Benevolent tyranny is still tyranny. Recreating the world better after undoing it does not negate the loss of millions of lives- not if it was done in anger, and not if it was done in kindness.
I'll probably be gnawing on this thought for a very long time and I might change my mind or phrase things entirely different if I'm asked about this very same thing tomorrow (or even just an hour from now), but I swear.... I do not understand the people complaining about the writing in this game.
I've been just... enchanted, this past while, as I was doing this big main quest-adjacent quest, and while I've not yet finished anything, it's been feeling very much like all the other games to me: beautiful, complex, and immersive when it needs to be, and silly, goofy, sweet when it calls for levity.
I'm having a wonderful fucking time.
And realizing that I had dodged that fucking fight was like the most absurd rush of relief that I have felt in a long time, lol.
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[A subtitle saying "Taash: Doesn't matter how sad you are about doing evil crap if you keep doing it."]
Man, the literal kind isn't the only kind of fire that Taash spits. That's probably the most succinct summary of how I feel about Solas that any character has ever given in this story yet.
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novakiart · 1 year ago
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Best spider man comic?
oh!! I'm going to stick to self-contained comics that you can just hop right into
i loooove the amazing spider-man annual #1 (2018) by saladin ahmed. the take on peter & venom's relationship (told through venom's pov) is really really good
peter parker: the spectacular spider-man #310 (2017) by chip zdarsky has been recommended a lot and for good reason!! strong emphasis on peter's relationship with average new yorkers (and vice versa). will make you feel feelings
spine-tingling spider-man #1-8 (2021-22) also by saladin ahmed is a great little self-contained story for spooky season!!! it's a marvel unlimited exclusive rn but physical copies are set to come out soon and a sequel is in the works!!! i love juan ferreyra's traditional art so much too
deadpool annual #2 (2014) by christopher hastings. ok I'm cheating because it's a deadpool story BUT it deals with peter's anxiety and spidey senses going rampantly out of control because he's 1) convinced random new yorkers are chameleon and therefore are out to get him and 2) he has not gotten any sleep because of this. deadpool as the voice of reason is pretty fun. it's just a lighthearted little one-off plot (bros keep bros secret identities safe)
mary jane & black cat: beyond #1 (2022) by jed mackay is also another cheat but you should read it anyway (don't let the bad cover dissuade you). peter is unconscious in the hospital and attracting unwanted attention because he's suspiciously got both mj and black cat looking after him, and their resulting team up dynamic is really fun! mackay's standalone black cat stuff is pretty great too
are these, like, the best spider-man's 60+ yr run has to offer? probably not! but they're fun little stories if you're dipping your toes into the comics
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