#so I'm gonna do my best to have good days anyway
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Azula cares too much about Zuko
Katara: Aang, can we talk about you learning firebending now?
Aang: What? The wind is too loud in my ears! Check out this loop!
Sokka: Aang, I think we should be making some plans about our future!
Aang: Okay, we can do that while I show you the giant Pai Sho table! Oh, you're gonna love the all-day echo chamber!
Toph : Ah, I think that'll have to wait...
Appa moves away and a fire siblings appear from the shadows
Zuko: ...Hello...*raises his arm up and waves*Zuko and Azula here
Azula: ...
Katara: ...
Sokka: ...
Aang: ...
Toph: ...It was bad, but keep going.
Zuko: Ah, yeah...Hey, we heard you guys flying around down there, so, just thought we wait for you here.
Appa growls at him and licks him twice, Azula couldn't help but smile, but the bison licked her too
Azula: ...
Momo: ...
Aang: ...
Zuko: HA!Oh, um, ahem, I- I mean- I know you must be surprised to see us here...
Sokka: WTF- Not really, since you've followed us all over the world.
Azula: Lie! We also collaborated with you
Zuko: Yes, I could have stolen your bison in Ba Sing Se, but I set him free.That's something!
Azula frowning: Wait, did you betray the Fire nation so long ago?
Zuko: you're not helping.
Toph: And you both want to what?
Azula thinking about it: A lot of things actually.A smart brother, a caring mother, a father who doesn't try to kill my brother, someone who will take care of me, not feel constant anxiety...But now I want to join you and teach the Avatar a firebending.
Toph: o fuck it's sound really sad
Azula: It's okay, life must be sad.
Katara: Okay, we have collaborated a couple with Zuko of times, but when have we collaborated with you?
Azula: !!-
Sokka: Pretending to be Kyoshi warriors doesn't count
Azula: oh((, but I defeated Long Feng, common enemies bring us closer, right??
Katara: YOU COLLABORATED WITH HIM TO CAPTURED BA SING SE AFTER THAT
Azula: AND??No one died!
Gaang: ...
Zuko: oh fuck
Azula mimicking: *gasp* yOuNg LaDy!
Zuko: I will speak further.Well, uhhh...anyway...what I wanted to tell you about is that I've changed, and I, uhhh, I'm good now, and well I think we should join your group, oh, and we can teach firebending to you.See, we, uhhh...
Katara: I still don't believe you've changed, BUT WHAT ABOUT HER
Zuko: ...she won't hurt you
Azula: If you don't need it
Zuko: shut up
Zuko: Look, I admit we some awful things.We was wrong to try to capture you, and I'm sorry that I attacked the Water Tribe.And I never should have sent that Fire Nation assassin after you.I'm going to try and stop-
Sokka: Wait, you sent Combustion Man after us?!
Azula: Wait, you sent assassin after them? *for the first time in 10 years pride for her brother flashed in her eyes* why you don't tell me??
Toph: Beauty, you don't look it, but he's better socialized than you.Better not go on.
Zuko, to Azula: I think you know?
Azula: from where?
Zuko: Idk, It's you
Azula: What is this supposed to mean...
Aang: There's no way we can trust you after everything you've done.We'll never let you join us.
Zuko and Azula: Wait!
Zuko kneels down: If you won't accept me as a friend, then maybe you'll take me as a priso-
Azula picks him up by the scruff of the neck: NO. It's dangerous, dumdum.How many brains have you been burned out if you think it's a good idea to surrender to the strongest avatar and greatest earthbender since Kyoshi, the master of waterbending and the macho-warrior trained by Piandao?!
Aang: w-wait, strongest since Kyoshi?*smiles awkwardly* oh, thanks, I really trying)
Toph: I like you more and more.
Katara twirling her hair around her finger and blushes: Ooh, it's not quite a "master" yet, but yes, I've made quite a lot of progress haha...
Sokka: macho-warrior?macho-warrior?I- I mean, YES I am!!
Toph: Come on guys, we're not going to get the best option out of our ass anyway.
Katara: Well, we're not going to accept them into the group just because of flattery, are we?..
Sokka: of course no, you heard him.We will take them captive.
Azula: I DIDN'T GIVE MI CONSENT-
Toph: It doesn't matter, you were captured by the strongest and greatest earthbender
Azula: ...why did I get involved in this
Zuko, happily: cause you love me *smiling to gaang* thanks guys!!^^
Aang: Welcome!!^^
Katara: We don't trust you anyway!
Sokka: You will be under my strict control!*plays with muscles*
Toph: under the supervision of the strongest and Sokka
Sokka: Macho-warrior, note please
Azula: I hate you Zuzu.I hate you so much.
#atla#avatar the last airbender#azula#fire siblings#zuko#azula redemption#protective azula#happiest zuko#poor azula#poor gaang#tophzula#sokka#katara#aang#the gaang
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the little girl at the bus stop just had the most enthusiastic, info-dump-y of rambles about how the bus that's coming is "literally the best bus" bc it's apparently bigger than the others which you "can see from its shape" and how great this bus ride is going to be
#so precious I stg#I adore this child that I don't know so much#and the lil boy listening to her giving her all attention was also very precious#then again I'm in a good mood anyway since I get to leave at 2 pm instead of 3 since I started work at 6 am#which was mostly to let the electrician into the rooms he still needs to check and test#and my boss was very kind and nice in his response to my long message about all the bs at work with my colleague#so I have the go-ahead to refuse to join the meeting on Friday which is great bc that was the biggest worry#colleague lady was still in a shit mood all day and fairly rude when I asked her a question ABOUT THE TASK SHE WAS MEANT TO DO#BUT WASN'T DOING bc she was “busy” as always and being short-tempered with everyone#but oh well. not gonna ask her abt anything anymore unless it can't be avoided. may she stew in her own frustrations#I bought cookies yesterday on my long walk home past the lovely paeonias at the park#so I'm gonna do my best to have good days anyway#the other colleague I had a tiny bit of beef with bc he kept closing tickets prematurely and I had a nice chat#and have come to an agreement on how to avoid this issue from now on bc apparently he's also doing five jobs at once#so fingers crossed that works for us but either way no hard feelings which is nice
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first art post of the new year!!! granted, i don't share my art here that much anyway, but– shhh.
hehehehhhooo,, here's something i've been working on for 'bout a month,, albeit not consecutively– took a few,, very very long breaks in between working on this,, but i managed to finish it in the end! am i satisfied with it? .......ehhhh? not completely, but if this took any longer, it might not have seen the light of day, so like. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
anyway,, made a little poster for my favorite fic, tommyinnit's services for villains, vigilantes, and various other vagabonds, by @scorpionoesit!!! it's really really good,,, and i've always wanted to make more art for it,, so i decided– poster! at least,, that's what it's mean to resemble,,, dkdmkdmdkd.
i will freely admit,, i'm... not the biggest fan of the fan-made logo i tried to design for it,, feels a bit boring, and could definitely have used a bit more pizazz, something to make feel more like the fic itself(what does that mean? you figure that out),,,, but– again, steam was running low,, dkdnksjs. graphic design is my passion. i do also have other complaints, but i'm afraid i already punched my one-use self-critique card,, oh well,,, dkdnkxjdkd.
regardless,, even with the flaws only i can really see,, this still turned out pretty okay!! hope you enjoy it, mx. scorpio and mx. alibi!!! and i hope everyone else has a wonderful new year!!!!
#my art#dream smp#services for vagabonds#tommyinnit fanart#tommyinnit#i don't wanna try tagging the rest of them so i'm just not gonna <3#anyway wrow i wonder who the skull guy and mysterious shadowy figure are....... could be anyone.#i was gonna try and fit in some sort of hero so i could check all the dots of everyone tommy's help#specifically either dr**m (derogatory) or phil#(was mostly leaning towards phil)#but 1) couldn't figure out a way to make it look good with the current set up#my first thought was to try moving the current characters around a bit; but then it would feel too crowded#my second thought was to have them appear from the smoke; somehow? a smoky figure?#but that only really looked good in sketch form and i didn't have the patience to figure that out properly#and 2) no clue what their designs look like. don't even know what their powers are; yet!#was also wanting to fit fundy in but it didn't work for the first reason#fun rapid fire character design facts: niki has a littol sharp tooth 'cause of the joker stuff!#i originally gave tubbo green eyes;; but i decided blue-green looked cooler#tech– [cough] i mean;; *orion's* cloak has a faint lil orion pattern on can barely see it but it's there i assure you !!!#(i tried my best for his design but i am. not the greatest at outfits;; especially hero/villain ones)#tommy has long hair bc it's *MY* art and *I* say he gets long hair. this definitely isn't canon to vagabonds i just like to do this#<- also why michael and tommy have freckles#tommy has a bit of green in his design(through the patch) due to a theory of mine :D#might have over-rendered the hair a bit but. fuck you i like it#anyway i think that's all i have to say about it? if you've actually read all these tags;;; have a cookie -> 🍪#pretend it's a peanut butter cookie#actually. no pretend it's both. you get two cookies. as a treat.#anyway have a good rest-of-your-day !!!!!!
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Now that I finally got to play TWST diasomnia chapter 1 myself, I'm gonna need everyone who said Malleus was a baby throwing a tantrum for no reason to pay me 2000 dollars each
#twst#twisted wonderland#yes it did take me until the second to last day of the new chapter event to finish book 6 what of it#in my defense i had no good leona&jamil cards for chapters 66 and 67‚ i'm glad i managed to do it at all. robe malleus carried the team <3#anyways! i haven't seen this take in a while but i remember it popping up a lot earlier this year when we got diasomnia on the jp server#as a member of the malleus defense squad i can't bear all this slander and now i have proof it's baseless#his overblot is one of the most justified ones??? what do you mean no reason#He's already established to be constantly left out and lonely because of it#And now he gets hit with the triple whammy of 1) realizing his fellow students' mortality after book 6#2) learning that his father figure is dying and in one week fucking off to fantasy china to live out his retirement without him#3) his best friend the MC telling him they found a way to un-isekai themself#Maybe he could have weathered one of those‚ but all three at the same time?#Poor guy stood no chance‚ those are hits straight into the trauma#Of course he's gonna have a breakdown! It's not his fault breakdowns in twisted wonderland come with a side of destructive berserking#And to be fair from what i've heard in spoilers all he did was put the whole school to sleep he didn't even destroy all that much#like yes putting everyone to sleep so they can live forever and never leave him is not a healthy reaction#but this is Unhealthy Reactions The School it's not like he's such an outlier in that#leave my boy alone 😭#excuse my ranting i'm just insane about twisted wonderland and malleus specifically
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Father!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥
#caluuart#genshin impact#genshin#art#arlecchino#god she's just so. cool. pretty. ethereal. badass.#also I LOVE HER STORY QUEST SO MUCH!! I think it's definitely one of the best story quests in the game tbh.#wait uh arlecchino story quest spoilers below:#for one; the quest really gives even more depth to arlecchino's character. like yeah the whole thing is well. messed up.#it's an orphanage that raises orphans to be child soldiers after all. But it's also like. It's more.... humane? nicer? for the fatui anyway#which does bring me to the next thing. you know how arlecchino's like “if you're gonna leave the HotH you need to fight for it with ur life#I genuinely think that she's gonna just. straight up kill them. although it's not unlikely at all it turns out that (most of the time?) she#-just gives them a one trip to memory loss and set them free. which i do know it's kinda like death in genshin's lore but still.#I just find that pretty interesting.#also the cutscene where clervie says goodbye n stuff. It makes me cry EVERY TIME. ARGHHHH TRAGIC CHILDHOOD DOOMED YURI MY BELOVED :(((#clervie makes me so sad man. the fact that she just. accepts death. she really just let peruere kill her huh. crucabena when I fucking get#the hopelessness getting to her at that point. all attempts of freedom failed until that day..... GOD. and clervie finally getting closure-#-in the story quest as a spirit... I just..... man.........#on a lighter note :)#I got obsessed with a bloodborne OST LMAO. the uhh the lugwig boss theme. esp the sec phase one. it's SO GOOD. I first heard abt it in a-#-vid analyzing the ost musically. At the time i was like. woah. cool. what a cool sounding track. fast foward to like. a day before 4.6#I'm watching a genshin theory video and I heard the music in the bg. I recognized it but I couldn't remember where I heard it from#UNTIL I REMEMBERED. and looked it up. And I have not known peace since. good music.#anw I've been rambling too much so yeah. gn my dear fellows!!
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Anyway this is what I mean by I want to see Adam and Jesus talk
#graphic design is my passion#listen while I'm super excited to hopefully maybe see angels & demons in the GO universe actually form an identity that isn't just not#their adversary and start taking actions based on something other than a game of spiritual Telephone#the symmetry of human raised Antichrist averting the first Apocalypse with humans and the Human raised (and killed sure) son of God (possib#le part of the Trinity?) help avert the second one#I mean I'm curious how we're gonna get all of them vs all of us with Jesus so. 🤷♂️#anyway. I literally could not sleep without expelling this awful thing#I have leave in in my hair bc I left my shower to let it sit when I realized I was not gonna stop itching to do this nonsense#do not @ me#I only use MS paint and meme generator and I did my best#cmo's log#I guess#also I fought for my life to get transparent Jesus and I am could not get the freeform crop on paint to work not to mention my hands are#so unsteady they evoke the concern of strangers#I might regret this in the morning#and by mornign I mean presumably like 3p tomorrow when I wake up#I untagged this bc it should never see the light of day#ok actually just execute me#good omens
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man.
#💭 — ⌗nervo rambles . ★#gonna say I'm venting a bit (kinda of a lot)#but I may seem selfish from this and let me say now ik everyone was putting themselves first (which is a very good thing)#but having three mutuals deactivate their accounts within I think two months or so??#I rlly don't like to be negative and I might also take a break from Tumblr (as much as I love posting here#so I'm still unsure if I'll even stick to that) bc of how negative I've been lately#I just don't want to keep venting and putting that on everyone so#but yeah I just. It makes me sad to see old/new mutuals go#I never thought I'd have to like#witness it#Idk#I've cried over losing them all and it feels rlly silly but I mean idk#I (try to — my feelings with crying are iffy and I hate admitting I do cry) not cry over everything but I just can't word stuff rn#might be posting less/not posting at all for the next few days or so#I'm gonna be busy in July anyways so it's probably better to just say that now#sorry guys I'm just dealing with some stuff mentally lately (an example being gender dysphoria but I can't even word the stuff going on#not to sound like I'm overexaggerating bc I rlly don't wanna seem like I am. It's nothing too serious so don't#be worried at all pls I'm ok enough I won't just disappear)#I just wish I could have alone time in my room with my cats without my family bugging me for a few days#It's tiring atp#I wanna lock myself up just to recooperate and figure out how to deal with certain things the best I can#anyways yap fest over I'm gonna go play wuwa and build Jinshi more#sorry for venting again 🫡🫡
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hm. i do not remember the screenshot being this big hfvsh
#wip#i like this one the best and also.. it might be the best one Lmaofhvs#[points] its the He#this is also very nearly the final product hvfhs#i'm just gonna colour them a bit and then leave it at that :)#(i'm doing an expression sheet again :3 :D)#i'm drawing each of these individually unlike how i did with the bl.s ones cuz his funkin Hair likes to catch me out hbvfsh#//anyway i've been working on this thing for nearly a week ???#'keeps why' i have been. writing#i do So enjoy infodumping about this project hvfhs#plusss putting it in a little booky means people don't have to be bothered with me looping back and over myself lol :>#i just dunno where i wanna put it lol#wattpad makes the most sense.. but also mm i dunno hfhsh#i haven't really used it in forever...#oh i should update it though fr fr#/also Geeeeez what is happening to my writing HFH#like one day i can't stop overusing the world 'occasionally' and then next i sound sort of obnoxious overusing synonyms and stuff lol#though you know what it Has gotten easier to just get stuff down (even when my brain is pretty much dead !!) when i just ignore everything#i forget about hfvhs :D#cuz i forget like every 15th word and it screws w/ the flow but if i do [this] with a similar word for later it's so good :DD#/also why can i Never remember the word Conscience lmao#that's a little bit of a funny one to always be losing hvfsh#//anywho... woo.... :33#i'm gonna go do my stuff now... and prolly sneak a soda.... and if i do i'll prolly be back ranting because that's what caffeine does to me#Loll#have a very empty brain recently. it Has been full of lovey doveyness tho so not bad not bad hfvhs :D#okay bbbye now toooodles ciaaaoo see ya .u./
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Song of the Day: December 1. Starting this again! It has been years
"Soap" by the Oh Hellos
#song of the day#I used to use these posts as a sort of daily babbling opportunity and I'm gonna give that a shot again#I'm awful at journaling (for all that I'll tell a story about my day at the drop of a hat I just can't seem to write it down for me)#but a good few of the dumb little articles I've found in my desperate searching for insomnia aids have recommended journals#sleep or otherwise#and I do think it helped me keep track of days/times/general impressions of how I was feeling back when I did this before#so I'm gonna try it again!#if y'all'd like a more specific blockable tag just let me know#anyway I love this song and I was thinking a silly thing earlier and it started autoplaying in my head and I was like /perfect/#silly concept aside the song itself is a delight. a great sound very fun to sing and clever lyrics#'a rudimentary lye; some kind of miraculous bind'#and I'm just sentimental/superstitious enough to be happy starting this frantic attempt to train my brain into sleeping again#with a song that ends with 'it's gonna hurt like hell / but we're going to be well / I'll give you my best shot'
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there are things that you don't do for a year or more and pick up just right where you left off and these days i fear loving you might be one of them
#double meaning on that but. yeah.#it's like. i haven't touched the imaging software i use for an entire year. soldering iron in decades. pick it right back up. to my surpris#muscle memory is crazy#i don't draw for months and pick up right where i was with a few sketches bc the work you put in stays even when you don't actively practic#when it's something you've practiced weekly and daily it sticks with you and ig that's good#but then it's like. the horrors. that haunt you. yk? what if a part of me will always save a soft spot for my ex. what then.#what if I'm fine now and I'm doing okay and i don't miss it and I think i'm okay moving forward and i see her and suddenly I'm on the floor#what if some part of me that was in love never really went away what if i haven't managed to kill all of it yet#bc i genuinely would not know what to do. i. i don't want to admit it but one of my worst fears is liking someone who doesn't like you back#and what's even more horrifying is if it's obvious. if everyone can tell. and usually I'm good at hiding it! (not really) but it's just. id#it's shame in liking someone who you tell yourself you don't want to like and you know you shouldn't. and not having control over it.#hoping praying that either she does something that turns the little switch in my head that sends her into the unforgivable category#or that i become straight. or that i become straight. mhm. yep. or ig the other option is i get a crush on someone new but like. mm.#i kinda have gotten w every person I've had a crush on since hs and i kinda don't think im ready for another rs so soon.#the baggage i just got is. hm. idk i kinda don't wanna unpack it. it's something that can easily be done if i had the missing pieces but.#i don't think I'm ever gonna get them. so. instead I'm gonna take. maybe another 3 months or 5 months or a year or a few. to just. slowly.#idek. it's just triggering old things. bringing me back to when i was 14. i never really got closure from that either. it took me 3 years.#I'm sure this time it'll go away faster but idk experiencing it a second time has a different feel to it. idk. it's weird.#it's like. idk. it's like you're watching it happen and you're not even there anymore. idk. i really don't know.#oh. I've been dissociating.#idk maybe it's for the best i really don't know i really don't know and everyone says i have to do what's best for myself but idk what is#my life is on track things are moving forward I'm doing better and healing but i can't escape the feeling of dread#something is going to catch up with me sooner or later and idk what it is idk at what intensity and idk if i will be ready for it#but anyway. when you love someone intentionally every day for a while. when does it go away? will it go away?#or will i have to live haunted by ppl who are alive but changed. so practically dead w/o the opportunity to mourn. for the rest of my life?#like i don't think i get it. loving this person was like. cooking and eating. intentional. ingrained into everyday life. effortful.#what if my mind does forget but my body still remembers. what then. what if it's like searching for sth you don't remember having anymore#ig I'm just trying to figure out how much to forget these days. how much won't hurt if it all comes back to haunt me#delete later
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complained to my psychiatrist that some of my meds are making it harder to focus and she started asking me questions about my functioning before I started any meds. well long story short, now I'm getting evaluated for ADHD,,,
#I'm also trying to quit some of the meds but its gonna be hard#im on three different pills and two of them are an antipsychotic and a tetracyclic antidepressant#which are notoriously hard to quit#anyway i think the problem is not the meds but the fact that i quit coffee when my thyroid went crazy#cause i started drinking it again recently and oh my god the difference#its like day and night#it doesnt make me more awake it just allows me to like. do things actually#also raises my anxiety which is not good#but i swear to god if its gonna turn out i had adhd this whole time#and it was just masked by autism and monster energy#im gonna be so mad#literally everyone in my life including my partner and my best friend have adhd#how could i have not even suspected it.......
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i am desperately trying to be more active but i'm experiencing mental burnout. just want to say thank you for the interactions even when i'm only checking in here now and again - i'll respond when i'm feeling better! <3
#nothing really happened - work and the house just got on top of me.#for context i was promoted to a management position in october and i hit my stride so i have a lot of responsibilities and i'm hhh.#having to play catch up in terms of skillset. i'm good at my job but i'm not the best - therefore ? i must keep pushing :y#as for home... Man (horse.jpg)#we bought a house a year ago. i envy people who renovate days after moving in. we're a year in and i'm only just redoing the kitchen floor#after a leak that happened in JUNE 2022. it's expensive as fuck and takes so much time.#i'm so fortunate to be able to afford a house but like. i won't lie. it's really hard having to be responsible for everything that goes#wrong with it. my kitchen has been subfloor for months. we destroyed our kitchen island trying to make room for the floor to be done#so we're down storage and stuff is just piling up. eh i know this is like. first world problem and really not a big deal.#but when your house is in disrepair because you don't have the money to fix it quickly or time to do it yourself. shit's hard.#anyway this is a rant. don't want a wrench or a tissue- just wanna get it out.#[puts on pantalone hat] i have money anxiety too#like i earn the most i've ever earned. i won't really get much higher than this atm. i'm due a bonus and i can cash out my shares#but fixing up the house is so expensive. i'm worried i'm gonna lose it all somehow. idfk why. when things are going well i worry i'm gonna#lose it all somehow. growing up poor does a number on your resource guarding. if i spend a penny I Will Lose It All.#' dima why do you like pantalone so much ' HE JUST LIKE ME FRRRR#sry this is a ramble . i treat tumblr tags like my diary but i hope you enjoyed the read xoxox#anyways! point is! i'm alive! i'm itching to come back but i dont have the mental space for fun rn.#can't have fun until i feel safe enough to have fun if that makes sense.#aight byeee
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welcome to the bell parade
7 6 2 5 4 7 3 2 5 1 4 4 7 4 7 6 4 (when i was a young boy) 6 74 6 7 67 4 53 (my father took me into the city) 6 7 6 54 3 (to see a marching band) 4 5 7 4 764 (he said son when you grow up) 674 6 7 67 4 53 (would you be the savior of the broken) 6 7 6 54 3 (the beaten and the damned)
(notation is only somewhat reflective of timing lolz). the limited palette necessitates a bit of wrongness.. for instance the first B (third note) is supposed to be higher than the other notes but adapting to the lower B sounded better than using the only other higher note - the A7. alas, tis the nature of shits and giggles 🖤
#MCR#I stayed up until 4 AM on christmas eve (christmas day i suppose) to do this.#MUSIC IS HARD.. I AM NOT A MUSICIAN (YET?)#i bought a kalimba recently and one of the melodies i've learned is..... the opening to black parade !!!#since i realized it's a fairly simple piano melody and went O_O I Could Play That so i did.#and now here tumblr is giving me another instrument.. waow...#mods please i would pay to keep this blessed thing#or i suppose i could just. install a software which lets me program my number keys to notes. and have a more flexible range of notes..#but that lacks the whimsy of Playing Music on Tumplr Dot Com 🌈#So anyway i saw my chemical romance live on tour this summer owo#I GOTTA BRAG ABOUT IT HEH#THEY WERE SO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#legendary show.#unforgettable. i think i almost passed out trying my god damn best to dance in the aisle#me and my buds rolled up in our best emo attire#we did make a hot topic run at a mall on the way before the show.#i also made a tractor supply run. what the hell can you wear from tsc to a concert? i will leave it to mystery.#my setlist had mama B) i would have been so sad if not.#okay now i am just reminiscing good night or not i'm gonna fiddle with a couple more tunes and try to not get absorbed.#I WANT THE BELLS UNTIL NEW YEARS AT LEAST. PLEASE#on the kalimba i like to transition from zelda's lullaby into WttBP... lullaby (or at least the part i've been playing??) ends on#the same note parade starts on. it's funny
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I will feel so tired that it's like my atoms are coming undone and I'm being made unreal...and then I will have a little chocolate treat and for 15 minutes I am whole and present again. Then the horrors
#ramblings of a lunatic#i remember feeling like this at the peak of my burnout and fatigue before#(also the same burnout and fatigue that took my interests and creativity and ground them into dust)#so I've concluded that i will just try and make it through the next two days as best i can (I GET FANCY RESTAURANT FOOD ON WEDNESDAY)#and then I'll just try to let my mental and physical health recuperate while finding excuses to hang w/ friends#cause that'll stave off thr madness of isolation#i wanna watch my shows and movies too and I'll finally be able to w/o guilt after the last exam :cries:#anyway. if you've noticed an uptick in me just sayin shit recently (in a way that may or may not be cause for concern)#it's bc I'm so close to getting out of the mines that having to wait any longer is driving me clinically insane#i wanna downplay the problem bc it's truly not that big a deal in some ways#but then i remembered that this is a) the longest I've gone w/o seeing my pals in like. nearly a month#and I've been at home doing the same stuff everyday for nearly a month too#and also IT'S THE FINAL EXAM I'M EVER GONNA DO BEFORE COLLEGE. IT'S A BIG DEAL MAN#so actually. yes I'm a bit of a drama queen but my slice of life problems have a place for mediation and bemoaning#but it's fine. bc we're gonna kill it#I'm gonna do sooooooo good on this test (<- manifesting)#it's. a little high pressure bc the last time i did a test for this subject (that I'm generally very good at) i majorly beefed it#but I've learned since then and I'm hoping. praying. also working hard but mostly hoping and praying#anyway. I gotta sleep soon bc i got so little sleep last night bc of the heat that i almost started crying at breakfast#LET'S GO LESBIANS (the lesbians are me. it's just me talking into a hall of mirrors)
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was talking to my mom about how the adoption process worked when they adopted my brother and man some people truly are just scum
#all of their process was basically public? since there wasn't a private institution back then (not sure how it is now)#so it was basically women who were 100% sure they were going to give their baby away no matter what#and then when the day came they were like noo i'm keeping the baby (which should be good right?)#and then they would do a follow up and turns out there was no baby because they were basically sold illegally#obviously to people that were not from chile#because what um hospitals? no it's not hospitals but adjacent i guess#what they would do is that they would have a program basically were pregnant women would be like hey this kid once they're born?#i'm gonna abandon them basically. so they hospital would get in contact with the social service#the social service would contact people that wanted to be parents. the they would come and there was no baby because they were sold#obviously didn't happen to my parents but what did happen was the social service lady asking them#if they wanted to see the kid first in case they ''didn't like him''#and my dad being my dad got furious because what the hell that's my kid no matter what#and the sad reality was that a lot of adoptive parents would like to look at the kid first to see if they liked them as if they were what#a fucking couch#anyways. everyday i'm more thankful for how open my mom is about this whole thing and how it was#she still has the name and all the info of my brother's biological mother in case he wants to contact her again#(which hasn't happened since he had his very big and bad bipolar crisis)#but yeah idk i admire my mom a lot she's always trying to do what's best for everyone even if sometimes it comes out a little harsh#b.txt
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You’re 26, it’s time to mature a little bit.
LMAOOOOO what does this mean ??? 😭😂
Sorry you can't post goofy shit anymore you're twenty six. Didn't you know being silly past the age of 25 is a crime and a slander to society? You'll have to stop right now mister, or i'll call the cops!!!
#unless you're referring to moving forward with my personal physical and mental health#it's all going smoothly so i appreciate your concern if that's where you're mind's at#the road to recovery is a rocky one i won't lie. i'm still smoking weed and drinking beers#but i don't smoke cigarettes anymore#and i'm moving out of the place i share with my gf bc we broke up so i'm gonna be in a much better environment#new orleans (where i am now) is like another world#but i'm doing my best and i take 2 anxiety and depression meds so i'm way better mentally than i used to be!#but if you're talking being goofy as hell i'm sorry bro you're gonna just have to hit that little unfollow button ☝️🥺#i love u anyway anon have a good day
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