#also I fought for my life to get transparent Jesus and I am could not get the freeform crop on paint to work not to mention my hands are

[cattatoir]

Anyway this is what I mean by I want to see Adam and Jesus talk

[faithfullyfound]

The Power of the Lord

God will use anyone, and I mean anyone to spread His message. I often wonder why God allowed me to find Him, allowed me to accept Him, I often wonder why I am so blessed to belong to this kingdom.

But then I fear that by following Him I am missing out on the world. I fear I'm missing out on experiences that I will never be able to have if I continue walking in faith.

But this is so ridiculously stupid. Sure I might miss out on parties, drinking, etc. but that is nothing compared to the light, joy, and patience God's goodness and grace give me. I also remember what my life looked like when I was a lukewarm Christian. I practiced witchcraft (convincing myself that this was ok), I affirmed sin, I was depressed, I was anxious, but most notably I was so confused. I questioned my existence and if I even mattered. I felt confused in my own body and I did not truly care about myself.

But after I found God, and truly grew with Jesus I felt loved, and accepted. I still struggle with anxiety and intrusive thoughts at times but I am NOT CONFUSED. I have eyes to see the evil present in our world. I have eyes to see TRUE CHRISTIANITY and most notably I have a tongue to proclaim that Jesus is Lord, and He's my Savior. Not only has He saved me from my inevitable death but He's saved me from dying right now. Every time I sin I am digging my own grave but Jesus picks me up when I stumble and He truly loves me.

It is so hard for me to listen to the Lord's voice because I fear I am becoming a "crazy Christian" someone who is doing too much and could potentially push people away from the Gospel. But at the end of the day, I need to remember that my hope is found in Jesus. He is my Savior no one else.

For Luke 14:33 ESV says, "So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple." We are called to give everything up. I will be very transparent and say there are habits, shows, and friendships that I haven't given up to the Lord. But I pray that through the power of conviction in the Holy Spirit the Lord leads me and anyone else reading this to live a life where we can renounce everything for our Lord.

Isaiah 42:16-19 CSB says, "I will lead the blind by a way they did not know; I will turn darkness to light in front of them and fought places into level ground. This is what I will do for them, and I will not abandon them." If the creator of the universe can do this much for me I can give up my fears and worries to Him.

For while my flesh has led me astray and gives me doubt and death and destruction. Following God gives me peace and clarity which I value more than any happiness that things of the world have given me. I remember praying for people to like me, my crushes to be my Valentine, etc. and then feeling betrayed by God when that did not happen. But God sees the bigger picture and He's looking out for me. I do not need to know God's exact plans for me I just need to trust in Him. Even amid my struggles, temptations, etc. I will trust in Him.

*Also side-note but I literally was wondering how to get closer to God and I wanted to feel His presence so I opened my Bible just randomly and turned to Isaiah 42 which in my bible is titled The Servants Mission & A Song of Praise, which both perfectly told me who I am in Christ. Trust me Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit are always with you.

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

Cult Girl: Doctorate (Hannibal x Pregnant!Female!Reader) pt. 12

Cult girl deals with an unexpected and unwelcome guest.

@wisesandwichshark @pearlstiare

Trigger warnings: pregnancy, emotional manipulation, emotional abuse, infidelity, threats of violence

Step three: kill Anna

So maybe there was an understanding that the pregnancy was to be kept secret from Anna.

The withdrawal of Archie and Max from the picture left a hole in the plan. Just when it looked like you had secured that much-needed victory, it shriveled up and died right before your eyes. That much was certain. Everything else was a big question mark.

Ever since he felt the baby kicking, Hannibal became even more hopelessly enamored with the idea of being a father. He never mentioned it, of course, but it was there. It was there in the way he cooed at your stomach and how his hand lingered after he felt a kick. He was in heaven.

For a few days, it looked like the downward trajectory was beginning to flatten. Then you remembered your favorite line from Ryan Reynolds' Deadpool:

"Life is an endless series of trainwrecks with only brief, commercial-like breaks of happiness." You repeated to yourself as your phone flashed Theresa's call icon.

It took you a minute to remember that Theresa in your phone was actually Anna, because you hadn't bothered to change it. In a way, it was symbolic. Theresa was the head you cut off, and Anna sprouted up in her place. All in the pursuit of making your life unbearable.

You pulled the toothbrush from your mouth and placed it next to the sink. Lazily, you brought the phone to your ear. "What?"

"Hey pretty girl!" Anna said, using her most transparently fake cheery voice. "How's it going?"

Then it clicked. You felt kind of stupid that you didn't see it coming. In the world of cults, this was known as 'lovebombing'; a manipulation tactic in which the cult leader showers their target with affection, compliments, validation or anything that would make them associate good feelings with the group. In any other context, it would be called 'ass-kissing'.

You narrowed your eyes in skepticism. "What do you want?"

"Jeez, who crapped in your corn flakes?" She scoffed. "Can't a girl just call her little sister to say hi?"

It would have been one thing to say 'cousin', which, despite your bad blood, would have been technically accurate. But 'sister' was crossing a line. The blood that binded you and Anna together was thinner than water.

"We're not sisters, Anna." You corrected. "Why are you calling?"

"I just wanted to let you know that all is forgiven." She said, slipping back into that phony cheerful tone. "That little fiasco at the funeral, it's water under the bridge."

What Anna didn't know was that the water under the bridge was never water, but gasoline. Every drop that flowed under that bridge only created a more dangerous blaze for when you finally burned it down.

"Awesome." You said, flatly.

"I also wanted to say, 'may the best woman win'." She jeered. "I don't want to alarm you, but Liam and I have been fucking like bunnies."

You gagged. "I'm not alarmed but I certainly didn't need to know that."

"I've been keeping track of my ovulation," She disregarded your objection and continued the conversation she wanted to have. "And I even put child locks on the computer so Liam can't watch porn. Can't spare even a drop, y'know. It's too crucial."

"I will literally let you have the entire inheritance if you please just shut up right now." You said through gritted teeth.

"Oh?" She perked up. "Come on, don't give up. Don't make it too easy. Winning is just more fun when someone else loses."

She was growing into her Theresa shoes quite well.

"Seriously, though," You raised your eyebrows. "If it means I never have to see you again, by all means. Take the damn money."

"You know I love you, right?" Anna blurted out, pretending to be offended. "You may not think so, but I love you like a sister."

Again, you fought the urge to feel bad for her. Her model of sisterly love was Theresa. She could use the word to invoke sympathy, but would never know what it meant. It hit your ear exactly the same as when fundamentalist christian strangers said they loved you and that's why they were harassing you. Just an empty annoyance.

You rolled your eyes. "Goodbye, Anna."

"Wait!" She shouted as if she was about to die.

You threw your head back in exasperation. "What?!"

"I wanted to give you a little good-luck gift." She said.

You were slightly interested. "Oh?"

"Yes." She answered. "Can I swing by and drop it off later?"

You sighed. "Whatever. As long as you make it fast."

You were most certainly noticeably pregnant, but a fluffy robe obscured any misplaced curves just enough. You just hoped she wouldn't ask why you were wearing a fluffy robe in July. Anna arrived at the house, with Liam, who was holding a small basket of colorful jars and bottles.

You waited a minute to see if she would just leave the basket on the porch, but she didn't. You resignedly opened the door.

"[F/N]!" She shouted with that hyper-enthusiastic smile. You cringed, trying not to let her presence trigger your morning sickness.

The smile disappeared from her face. "Jesus H, you look like hell."

You desperately wanted to inform her that it was the strain of growing a human inside your body, but you held your tongue and thought of an excuse.

"I'm hungover." You said. Yeah, that would work.

"The usual, I see." Anna snipped at you under her breath.

You eyed the basket. You didn't even bother to mask your disappointment when you realized it wasn't food. "What's this?"

"Oh, this?" Anna said as if she were starting a sales pitch. "This is my olive branch. My exclusive DoTERRA fertility rejuvenation kit."

Your brain refused to process that Anna had been sucked in to an MLM, as it was really only a matter of time. You just didn't think it would take this long.

"Dude, you're twenty-nine and I'm twenty-six." You narrowed your eyes at her. "What on earth are we rejuvenating?"

She pointed to a collection of little bottles. "So these are for the initial cleanse. Put a few drops of this in your food, and some of this in your bathwater-"

She rattled on with practiced certainty about the fictitious health benefits of thyme and geranium oils, how they promote fertility and whatnot.

"Thanks, Anna." You cut her off, reaching for the gift basket. You didn't intend to use any of it, but you could pawn it off on some struggling hunbot for less than they would buy it new.

Anna pulled the basket out of your reach. "Oh. I wasn't giving it to you."

Nothing surprised you anymore, and this was no exception. "I thought you said it was a gift?"

"Oh, god no." She shook her head. "This whole kit costs, like, five hundred dollars."

You grimaced. "So you came here to show me your snake oil collection?"

"I came here to tell you in person about this amazing business opportunity." She said, returning to her fake smile. "For just $1000, you can be part of this amazing company-"

"Anna, what am I studying right now?" You cut her off.

She looked at you with round, clueless eyes. She looked back at Liam for help. He tapped his head to give her a hint.

"I want to say..." her voice trailed off. "...brain surgery?"

You shook your head. "No. Liam?"

"Clinical psychology with a specialization in cults." He answered. "You want to be the next Steven Hassan."

Anna didn't deserve Liam.

"So you're saying you're too smart for me?" Anna said, crossing her arms. "You're too busy going to your fancy college, living with your fancy boyfriend to support your own sister's hustle?"

"I'm saying you're in a cult." You countered. "A pretty obvious one, at that."

"Oh, when your only solution is a hammer every problem looks like a nail." She scoffed. "You think everything is a cult. Why can't you just be happy for me?"

"I'll be happy for you when you accomplish something that isn't built off the backs of people you fucked over." You said, allowing yourself to finally snap.

Anna's jaw hung open. "Do I even need to gesture to this house? Those clothes? That degree? All paid for by your rich boyfriend."

It's time.

You stepped on to the porch and shut the door behind you. "Liam. I have something to tell you."

Liam handed the basket off to Anna and approached. "Alright."

"No she doesn't, Liam." Anna objected. "Don't listen to her. You know she's a liar."

"Liam." You said, looking into his eyes. "Do you remember Nathan Sparks?"

"Anna's ex from college?" Liam folded his arms and looked at his wife. "Vaguely."

Anna gritted her teeth at you. "I swear to fucking god, [F/N]-"

"Anna, stop." Liam cut her off. "Let her speak."

"Anna continued to see him for two years after you got together." You smirked.

Liam's dial-up internet brain sputtered to life.

"Oh my god." His mouth hung open. "...is he 'pineapple'?!"

"Nope." You said. "You are."

"Is this true, Anna?" Liam said, in the overlap between denial and anger. "Did you keep seeing Nathan after we got together?"

Anna threw the basket on the ground, jars shattering, releasing a noxious cloud of concentrated snake oil. She was too busy glaring daggers at you to answer her husband.

"Fine. Don't tell me." He spat, turning back to you. "I'll hear it from you, [F/N]. You're the only one in this family who's been honest with me."

"She only wanted to get with you because your uncle is CEO of that publishing house." You added. You felt bad for essentially rubbing salt in the wound, but he was right to assume he wouldn't hear it from anyone else.

He placed his hand over his head as if to nurse a migrane. "How could I be so stupid..."

"Liam-" Anna said, her voice jumping a few octaves.

Liam put up his hand. "I don't want to hear it."

"I'm sorry, Lee." You offered. Even though you loved seeing Anna caught, you felt bad for every person she victimized along the way. Liam was no exception.

He dropped his shoulders and sighed. "Thank you, [F/N]. I'll be out of your way, now. Anna--"

He stopped himself, presumably to avoid saying something he would regret. "...find your own way home."

He shoved his hands into his pockets and walked away, leaving Anna with you.

"Thanks for coming." You sneered at her, feeling around behind you for the door handle. "I'd call an uber if I were you."

"You twisted bitch." She scowled, hands hovering in your direction. "You just get off on ruining people's lives, don't you?"

"Oof, that's some serious projection, Anna." You said, unconsciously untying the belt of your robe and pulling it off your shoulders.

"You're-" She sputtered, her eyes growing to the size of personal pizzas. "You're fucking pregnant?!"

Shit. You thought, cycling through whatever braincells you had left for an idea of how to play this off as if you meant to do it.

"Surprise." You shrugged. Yeah, that would work.

"That's impossible!" She stammered. "You're- you're not even married!"

"Grandma never said anything about marriage." You grinned.

Anna struggled to find her words. "That is unfair!"

"So now that you're not winning, the game is unfair?" You raised an eyebrow.

She pursed her lips and pointed at you. "You aren't going to get away with this."

"Just like you didn't get away with cheating on your husband?" You taunted.

"I'm serious, [F/N]." Anna said, backing down the porch steps. "I will destroy everything you love just like you did to me."

For a half a second, the voice in your head told you to beware, that the threat should be taken seriously. Upon remembering it was coming from Anna, you pushed the thought from your mind.

You shouldn't have.

[lilietsblog]

Sailor Moon 35 (WHY HAS AMI BEEN NERFED SO BADLY JESUS CHRIST)

So Let's See What Happens Next On Sailor Moon I think this episode is like... the last one I saw on the previous rewatch attempt and parsed 0 of TRY AGAIN I GUESS

um is Serenity's dress in the opening actually half transparent. is that a dress or a nightshirt

omg Luna is doing the opening narration this time XD

Zoicite Did Not Expect This Nobody Expected This Actually

yes Luna Sailor Moon = Princess Serenity excellent deduction

Mako is as confused as this revelation deserves and Ami states the obvious and Rei is just ):

Zoicite you are digging yourself deeper I don't think you have any way to counteract the power of ginzuishou not to mention that you've already Fucked Up by breaking Beryl's orders but that's another thing

yes Usagi definitely literally is Serenity

two confused children who have no idea what the fiery chaos around them is

yes Mamoru has always been Bad Decision Child at least now Serenity/Usagi can be there with him and cure him

awww and Rei goes straight for her boyfriend

sorry Zoi You Already Fucked Up not even Kunzite-sama can save you now

but yeah this is going to be fun

oh no he just... takes Mamory and Zoi and fucks off sorry girls you are really incompetent with this whole magic shit whenever it's doing anything other than attacking them

man Zoi's face there is terribly drawn just this short sequence of horrible art o well the whole situation is delicious enough

so hey Queen Metallia nobody expected to see Endy here huh

sorry Kunzite you really should have shut down your boyfriend's terrible ideas Zoi you incredible dork awwww Kunzite Does Illusions

why is this scene so pretty and there are actual tears -this- close to my eyes at the very least, i very acutely feel my eyes being dry

oh yeah and girls meanwhile are just trying to get out welp they've been locked good job Mako is carrying Usagi <3

Usagi is Waking Up and remembering what should be there

aww Rei thank you now HE IS ALIVE THEY SHARE THIS IF NOTHING ELSE

Artemis you really should have told them earlier... oh right locked memories jfc this whole plan is shambles of a disaster

'it was a very peaceful paradise' liar liar pants on fire

why does Serenity look like she's taller and has wider shoulders than Usagi huh I guess maybe she was just older?

oooooh so Moon was the last remaining bastion of the Moon+Earth civilization kind of like England and Europe in WWII

seriously, just four soldiers fought back? guess Moon was pretty sparsely populated

Luna this plan very clearly did not work you just HAD to say 'welp that failed guess we'll be aborting that' well I guess yeah you did it's just nice that Usagi joined in this time

she doesn't want to fight and I understand her very well Being told I'm a princess doesn't make me feel like one, and it doens't make me happy at all! yeah, Usagi's life is definitely better than Serenity's... at least pre-Luna >_>

LUNA SHUT UP WITH THE MISSION ALREADY

Usagi is just Too Right here

...and her motivation is not just fighting herself, but seeing others die for her yeah this is Serenity speaking much more so than Usagi out of the two of them, Serenity was the sheltered one, the one who could only watch the horrors of war and just wish with all her being for it to stop but Usagi is the one who's used to fighting for her friends, and who prefers acting to not acting, even when she's scared

you wanted your princess back, Luna? Well here she is, the way she was, the way her life experiences shaped her. Aren't you happy she is different as Usagi? Wouldn't you rather have Usagi now?

nnnnngh I just have angry feelings about everyone's treatment of Usagi overlapping with the Serenity/Usagi dichotomy feelings rn

Serenity doesn't want to fight, she has remembered the earlier herself and the newer herself has taken the back seat for the moment she'll find better balance

Rei you fucking asshole but on the other hand I bet you nobody ever slapped Serenity EVER this SHOULD help snap her to more regular Usagi STILL REI THAT'S COLD

COWARD YES I AM

(no you're not Usagi, you never were, even when everyone ever told you the opposite) (sometimes when everyone does nothing but abuse you it's easier to give in and accept it as your identity) (but you're not going to do this for longer than a moment because this is so much contrary to who you are, to what you are, to what Usagi got to be that Serenity never could)

"Rei-chan" yeah I think Usagi's reasserting the newer herself

and Rei's not even wrong, Mamoru is Bad Decision Child and she's fully right to be pissed about the whole thing

thank you Ami and thank you for knowing THIS IS NOT HOW USAGI IS THIS IS NOT HER

oh hey isn't that pissed Kunzite having just lost his boyfriend

that's not even Usagi's body language I think? interesting

THANK YOU MAKO FOR YOUR WILLINGNESS TO ACT AND TO HIT FIRST alas his magic is superior oh Minako you are just doing the same thing and expecting it to do something different

AMI DO YOUR THING IT'S LONG PAST TIME TO BRING BACK YOUR BATTLEFIELD CONTROL SHIT

oh Rei )=

oh hey looks like even she knows Usagi's better than she'd been saying the entire time gee Rei just on time

but seirously why did you also try the same thing

AMI JESUS CHRIST THE FUCK YOU DOING YOU GIRLS HAVE TERRIBLE COMBAT SYNERGY WORKED SO MUCH BETTER WHEN THERE WERE JUST THREE OF THEM THIS IS STUPID THIS FIGHT IS STUPID

well at least Usagi's coming back to herself she's always been at her best when pushed past her limit

KUNZITE IT WAS NOT HER THAT KILLED ZOICITE IT WAS KIND OF YOUR BOSS

and Usagi gets her power to do things by asking nicely the first time this happened was when she stopped the tiara from hitting Naru this is x2

so yeah I hope the girls are passed out and not dead I mean okay I KNOW they are going to be back two minutes later but just when I was watching last time I was really confused by that development because I thought Kunzite killed them but ??? I guess they were passed out after all

BERYL SHE LOVES HIM BACK WHAT IS YOUR DEFINITION OF THE WORD 'UNREQUITED'

the art has weirdly shifted Usagi has longer limbs now this looks annoying actually everyone does longer limbs and wider shoulders grrrr disapprove