#so I thought why not write it down... the cub seems to be very popular ... everyone wants to recruit it.. so here is your guide tumblr folk

[silver-horse]

That owlbear is so cute! Can you actually keep him and Scratch without the dog getting eaten?

Yes! They actually become friends. There is a cutscene shortly after the owlbear has joined the camp where they are sleeping together.

Well... the owlbear cub hasn't eaten anyone so far during Act 1. We will see what happens when it grows bigger Lol But it would be weird if they wrote something like that for the cute adopted pets.

Anyway for the owlbear recruitment everyone should know:

1. avoid confrontation with the mother (pass an animal handling check and then walk away, don't go near them after the mother has told you to f off, don't try to loot nearby corpses, just leave) It's possible to not meet the cub and the mother at all and then you will just meet the cub for the first time in the goblin camp, this shouldn't be a problem. But you will probably run into them and in that case you should avoid the fight.

2. in the goblin camp, talk to the goblins who are playing a game with the cub (the goblin's name is Krolla)

3. now you can "talk" to the owlbear cub (you don't necessarily have to use speak with animals spell/potion, just click on the cub and communicate)

4. talk again to the goblin Krolla. Now there will be an option to say that you will take the cub. Pass an ability check to convince her. Now your character will comment that hopefully the cub can follow our scent to camp.

5. That's it, you did it. It will take a few night (maybe 2) before the cub actually shows up at camp. The cub won't immediately stay. For the first couple of nights, there will be unique scenes where you can interact with the cub. (But at this point the only bad thing you could do is choose to shoo away the cub on purpose.) Eventually the cub stays permanently and you will be able to pet it any time.

Bonus goodness: you will gain companion approval from Shadowheart, Astarion, Wyll and Gale for befriending and petting the cub. (not Lae'zel LOL but she doesn't disapprove)

By the way... owlbear recruitment was bugged for me in this last patch. I did everything the way I always do, my character commented that the cub should follow our scent to camp and yet.. many nights have passed and no owlbear cub. :(((( So I really hope they fix this for the final release. It would be one of the worst things to miss out on the owlbear cub.

EDIT: It's not bugged in patch 9 !!! Owlbear finally showed ip in my camp! However it took way longer than 2 nights, maybe it will be similar in the final release. So be aware that you will have to wait, but if you rescued the cub then it should be fine.

[merriconstance]

That Time I Wrote an Essay About Gelphie

I wrote this essay at like 1 A.M. so enjoy lmao

Wicked is perhaps one of the most well-known and best contemporary musicals. It's known for its powerful storytelling, outstanding music, and intriguing, morally grey characters. It opened on Broadway in 2003 and is still running today, as well as productions in other countries. However, the standard audience is unaware of the romance-coding (although if you, like me, are a flaming homosexual obsessed with musicals, it's pretty easy to tell) with the characters Glinda and Elphaba.

First and foremost, romance-coding is when two characters of the same gender are coded to be in a romantic relationship. It's often confused with queer-coding. However, romance-coding is a bit different. Characters can be coded as romantic regardless of sexuality, gender, or sex. Neither Glinda nor Elphaba are coded as queer, necessarily, but instead coded romantically. If you want to learn more about it, I recommend Rowan Ellis' videos.

Glinda and Elphaba initially clash, loathing each other. However, the song itself, What is This Feeling, has some rather queer undertones. It was written as a parody of standard love songs, with lyrics such as “My pulse is rushing, my head is reeling, my face is flushing. What is this feeling?” However, both girls come to the conclusion that it’s loathing. While that seems like a conclusive end, it could actually very easily be read as a misdiagnosis of the situation. If one of them were a man, most people would definitely read it this way.

Glinda does most of what she does for the attention and praise, which could be relevant to the line, "Was I seeking good or just seeking attention? Is that all good deeds are when looked at through an ice cold eye?" in No Good Deed. Glinda can be rather shallow, and while she does have a good heart, she is undoubtedly superficial at first.

One of the most important things about Glinda to note is that her first actual good deed she did, not for the approval of others, was dancing with Elphaba at Fiyero’s party while everybody else stands aside and laughs.

However, after Fiyero's party, the too get over their fit of "loathing" and become best friends. Thus, Popular.

Do I even have to explain Popular? I think the line, "Why, Miss Elphaba. Look at you. You're beautiful," speaks for itself. Glinda is the most earnest she's been in the musical during this scene. She hadn't even done much, just taken Elphaba's hair of her braid and stuck a flower in there. I don't think it's that far of a stretch to think she thought this even before Popular.

My next talking point is Defying Gravity. Defying Gravity is possibly the most iconic contemporary musical theatre song. Even those who have never listened to a single musical likely know of this song.

Glinda and Elphaba fight, neither of them being able to see the others perspective. Glinda thinks Elphaba should apologize, get in good with the wizard, and slowly make changes from the inside, even if it means compromising her morals. Elphaba can’t stand to do this.

Elphaba laments about how she’s changed and this is no longer what she wants, and that she needs to make a change herself.

Then, in the main part of the song, Elphaba tells Glinda to kiss her goodbye. How much more explicit can it get? They even kiss in the novel it’s based on, but don’t worry guys, they aren’t gay! It’s totally platonic.

Elphaba asks Glinda to come with her, but deep down, she knows Glinda won’t. Elphaba won’t be happy if she stays, and Glinda won’t be happy if she leaves. So, the two have to let each other go, because at the core of their relationship, they just want each other to be happy.

They are the definition of if you love someone, let them go.

Glinda and Fiyero are soon engaged. Glinda tries to act positive, as she is now a public figure actively advocating against Elphaba, but you can tell in Thank Goodness that she regrets her decision and misses Elphaba more than she will admit.

Some plot stuff happens that I'm going to assume you know if you're reading this essay, and now Fiyero is presumed to be dead and Elphaba fully embraces the label society has given her.

And then For Good happens. For Good is one of the most genuinely beautiful songs I've listened to and I tear up every time. The two women love each other so much, probably more than they want to admit. Whether you personally see their relationship as more platonic or romantic, you can't deny how genuine and pure their relationship is.

Plus, Kristin Chenoweth took the low harmony and every Gelphie shipper started screaming about the symbolism and how they've both changed so much (me. thats me.) and if you weren't already crying, you are now.

Compare this to As Long As You're Mine. It has a haunting sound and Elphaba feels truly wicked for the first time. For Good is simple and honest and truly feels like love.

This is a good segway into talking about Fiyero. Glinda liked Fiyero for shallow reasons; he was a prince and charming, while Elphaba hardly even knew the dude; they saved a lion cub together once and apparently it's true love? I do think that both Elphaba and Glinda loved him, but I don’t think they were in love with him. He often takes second-hand to their friendship and never really builds a foundation of love and caring with either of them.

Then there's a dumb deus ex machina where Elphaba doesn't die and ends up with Fiyero, which was cheap in my opinion. Elphaba's story is a tragedy and the happy ending felt unearned. That's off-topic, though.

Glinda and Elphaba had such a beautiful relationship and so much potential, but it was misused and now I have to write essay's at 1 A.M. instead of sleeping.

[whatcouldgowrong-ohthat]

Hi! I saw you had request open, so I was wondering if you could write Bucky reacting to overhearing someone tell his starving artist friend that their work doesn't mean anything? It can be in head canon style or an actual fic, whichever you prefer. Thank you!

The Artist and the Baker

Pairing: baker!Bucky x artist!Reader

Word Count: 2601 words

Warnings: This is fluff. Mutual pining, that sorta thing, guys.

A/N: I honestly really love this request especially with everything going on. I think it’s very common for people to take artists and creators for granted and I have certainly been on the receiving end of that treatment. 

I hope you like this. It was fun to make, but I’m sorry if it wasn’t quite what you were looking for.

-.-.-.-

Becca’s Needs for the Soul – a two story creation that was well-loved and adored by anyone who passed through the splatter painted door. Most people never understood the name, not even her brother, Bucky. Until Rebecca asked him to co-own and start working at the establishment. His little sister, always full of dramatics, had created something for everybody.

It was a coffee shop and a bakery.

A bookstore and a gallery.

They even had nights where people came in to perform music, standup, anything the heart desired. There were other days where artists from around would come and paint, sometimes provide lessons for kids, and other days there was simply nothing but quiet.

It took no time for Rebecca’s little hole in the wall to become one of the community’s favorites. Especially when her brother and his two friends came on. They had gotten it down to a science really.

Rebecca would come in, organizing the bookstore, managing everything behind the scenes, and setting up any special events that would come up. Whenever it was time to decorate the store for holidays? Or even something seasonal that came to mind? She spent even more time out with the customers instead of behind the scenes.

And when she brought in her brother and two hunks to keep people company? It was a genius plan on her part. Especially when female customers spiked. But she would never admit that maybe that had been a smidgen of the plan all along. No, her real reasoning was for the boys. They needed something simple after returning from their second and final tour.

So she stuck two of them behind the counter. Her older brother often spent most days tucked back in the kitchen creating God knows what, but it always smelled wonderful. Any time he came out of his little hole, it was usually to help man the register while Sam slacked because he was flirting with too many customers.

But that was to be expected when Sam was the coffee guy. He was always creating new Holiday specials, deciding the best coffee beans for purchase, and trying something different. No one ever knew what it would be, but normally the smell of coffee and something filled the store.

And Steve? Well, he was one of the store’s more popular artists. He didn’t “officially” work for them, but he spent enough time there where people started nicknaming him the “curator”. He was the one who usually brought in new artists.

That was how Y/N had become part of their little group.

She was a photographer, but Bucky would always say it was more than that. For those who hired her, she found a way to make sure they were comfortable in front of the camera. Y/N always said she understood being nervous because of her own curvy figure, but Bucky just saw how she glowed. And her work that she put here? It wasn’t just portraits or landscapes. She had a way of combining paint and photos to create a way of reminding the world that imagination and reality were always linked. While Sam and Steve teased her for focusing on events to pay the bills, Bucky was the one who asked about which works she had planned.

With a smile and paint in her hair or staining her nails, she would tell him. Her eyes would sparkle with excitement that could only come from being an artist. She was so animated with her words, hands flying about and often looking like she belonged in some sort of cartoon. Her cheeks would always flush when she would realize how fast she was talking or how much louder she spoke.

But he never minded.

He liked having a friend who got so excited about her work. It was a different sort of excitement than Steve. The blonde was always smiling and had that same spark, but he was infinitely calmer compared to Y/N. Their artwork matched their personalities. Steve’s were extravagant and beautiful pencil sketches of people – raw and honest and revealing something that no one else could see but him. Y/N’s were stunning and extraordinary paint and photos – raw in a way that reminded the world to see what they were missing.

Their creations often balanced the walls of Rebecca’s shop. At least they did during the times Steve’s work wasn’t flying off the walls. It was that popularity that had him drawing at the shop. He often invited Y/N, telling her that people not only wanted to buy their work, but they wanted to watch their creativity.

Still, her best work came from the privacy of her own home.

Every week she brought in something new. Something special.

And today was no different.

The rules for artists selling their work were simple. They decided the prices. They worked the transactions. The shop itself provided a place to see the work, but took no percentage. They didn’t interfere.

These were unspoken rules that everyone managed to follow because…well, it made sense.

Until this guy – arrogant and irritating and looking to buy art. Sam had nicknamed him “Sweater vest.”

He had come in like any other day, ordering some tea before complaining that it was “too hot” and “too watered down”. It made Sam’s blood boil not because it was a complaint, but because it was the same order and same complaint every time. And every time, it was those complaints that kept him from tipping anything.

Even if he finished his tea and stuck around for a couple hours every damn time, admiring the artwork, fingering through books, but never buying anything other than his “not good enough” tea.

Sam’s too-big smile was still in place as he watched Sweater vest take a seat next to Y/N’s newest work. Both men glanced at the painting, but for entirely different reasons. Sam did because he couldn’t wait for Bucky to see it. Sweater vest did because today was going to be his first official purchase. And Sam hated that the artwork on the wall had to go to -

“Sweater vest is back.” Sam spat as the kitchen door closed behind him.

Bucky looked up, setting down the dozen cookies that had just come out of the oven. He knew exactly which customer Sam was griping about, always finding it entertaining that someone had managed to get under his skin. “And?”

“And he’s buying Y/N’s new painting,” Sam harrumphed, leaning against the nearest counter as Bucky started decorating a cake.

Bucky paused when he heard that, cursing when he messed up the piping. Setting the instrument aside, he carefully wiped away his mistake and glanced at Sam. Oh, he wanted to wipe that smug smirk off his face. “You’re point?”

“Nothing. I’m just surprised you haven’t gone and looked at it yet.”

“I’ve been a little busy,” Bucky said, gesturing to the creations that covered the counters.

Sam bit his tongue, barely able to hide his laugh. So that’s why there was so much flour on Bucky’s cheeks and in his hair. “Trade ya.”

“Your hands are too shaky. You’d screw these up.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Fine, whatever, but �� “

Sam’s sentence died on his lips when he heard shouting coming from the front. Bucky glanced up, ears recognizing Y/N’s voice. The two men shared a look, muttering, “Sweater vest,” before rushing out of the kitchen.

Y/N’s new painting was off the wall and at her feet, tucked behind her as if she was a mama bear protecting her cub. They’d never seen Y/N angry before. Passionate, sure, but never angry. Anger was something she never seemed to reach.

Until today.

“The painting is decent, but it doesn’t mean anything. And I’m not paying three hundred bucks for something that has no meaning.”

“Then why the fuck did you waste my time asking about it?”

“Because I thought you would come to your senses and accept a more reasonable offer.”

“And what do you think would be a reasonable offer?”

“Fifty sounds more than reasonable. And I would be doing you a favor with my connections.”

“Fifty bucks and exposure?”

Bucky and Sam moved fast, knowing that tone of venom and irritation. Sam grabbed the painting, moving it out of the way as Y/N launched herself at Sweater vest, ready to tear him a new one. Bucky wrapped his arm around her waist, putting himself between her and the idiot. “Y/N, breathe…”

“Let me tell you this,” Y/N snapped at Sweater vest, pointing at him around Bucky’s arm. “I would rather never sell another piece of work than listen to your drivel for another moment!”

Sam placed a hand on her arm, tugging her back. “Y/N, let’s go to the kitchen,” he told her, talking to her as if she was a small child that needed to be calmed. He steered her behind the counter as he assured her, “Bucky just finished making some cookies. I’m sure we can steal a couple while he takes out the trash.” Sam glanced over his shoulder, giving Bucky a thumbs up of encouragement.

While Y/N might be completely oblivious to Bucky’s feelings for her, Sam was far from it. And he was completely sure that Bucky would have no problem fixing this situation. He just wished he had a camera to record everything.

Maybe he could borrow the security footage from Rebecca’s cameras.

When the kitchen door closed again, Bucky turned to Sweater vest. He straightened, coming to his full height and towering over the man. It seemed his large build was a firm reminder that Rebecca had ex-military working here because Sweater vest calmed rather quickly.

“I’m so sorry for disturbing the establishment. Artists tend to be a little soft-hearted when it comes to critiques.”

“Not if the critique is asked for,” Bucky told him, taking a step forward as Sweater vest took a step back. Though everyone had avoided looking at Y/N’s and Sweater vest’s argument, all eyes were curiously watching the baker that was often far more quiet than he was now. “Y/N is one of our favorite artists. Her work and company are always welcome in our establishment.”

“O – Our? I thought this shop was owned by a woman…a Ms. Rebecca Barnes.”

“It’s co-owned,” Bucky assured him, offering his best customer service smile.

“By…?”

“Her brother.” He held out his hand. “James Barnes.”

Sweater vest swallowed thickly, throat bobbing nervously as he took Bucky’s hand. The strength in Bucky’s handshake was enough to make him wince, barely able to withhold a cry of pain. Bucky’s other hand, a heavy and metal prosthetic, squeezed his shoulder and earned a cringe.

“While Becca’s Needs for the Soul is open to anyone, we take great pride in reminding our artists that this is their community first and foremost. So you? Are banned.”

Another step and Sweater vest was stumbling through the front door, his shoulder and hand released. “I – “

“Have a nice day.”

The door clanged shut with a ring from the bell. Bucky watched Sweater vest recover, smoothing himself out and making himself presentable once again before he turned and walked away. Bucky shook his head, turning back to the rest of the shop. They all stared at him as if he had grown a second head, never having seen Bucky so outspoken or protective before.

“Show’s over.” Everyone looked back at Sam who was standing in the kitchen doorway. It seemed that was all that was needed for everyone to go back to what they were doing. Sam grinned, asking, “So I could’ve had Sweater vest banned weeks ago if I just…”

“Shut up.” Bucky walked back to Y/N’s painting, picking it up and finally looking at it for the first time. He was…shocked.

It was a full painting – Y/N’s first.

The person was solid black, a shadow with only their eyes visible to the viewer. What he guessed was blue watercolor filled the subject’s irises. Around the person’s outline, breaking through its barrier – endless skies, constellations, galaxies – all messy and brilliant and bold. The paint was thicker, heavier there. He could make out every thick stroke of the person’s figure, of the world around it. Deeper blues, yellows, purples, greens – colors no one would expect to see from a night sky…were there. It was fathomless, endless, and the longer he looked, the more he found something new. She wasn’t connecting the mind, but the eyes, the soul, to the rest of the world.

And that idiot had the balls to say there was no meaning to this?

“I wonder who her inspiration was,” Sam teased, leaning against the counter as Bucky looked over his shoulder.

Bucky stayed silent, hanging the painting back where it belonged. Instead of commenting or over thinking it, he went back into the kitchen. There, sitting on the counter, was Y/N with a cup of coffee and a couple cookies. An apologetic smile curled her lips as she set the plate and mug down.

“Thank you for…that,” she finished lamely, gesturing to the door.

Bucky shrugged. “It’s no problem. You’re my friend.”

Y/N smiled hearing that. She had always wondered if Bucky looked at her as a friend and hearing that he did, it made her heart flutter in a weird sort of way. “Do you…need me to go?”

He shook his head, already returning to the cake he was decorating. The sooner he finished it, the sooner he could put it out to sell. He stood close to her; his eyes focused intently on his creation as Y/N watched him. She loved seeing him in his element. Though he would never admit it, his own creations were art. He poured so much of himself and his love in each dessert.

And it was adorable. But friends didn’t say things like that, so Y/N stayed silent. She was content with this, happy.

Silence fell so easily between them. There was a level of comfort in this moment that couldn’t be replicated by her friendships with Sam or Steve or Rebecca. It was Bucky being Bucky and Y/N being Y/N. Exactly what the other needed.

And neither had any sort of idea that Sam and Steve were watching them through the kitchen door.

Sam looked over at Steve, returning to the register as Steve went to his proper side of the counter. “Think either of them will ever admit it?”

Steve glanced at the glass case that held all of Bucky’s sweets. The first one was a customer-favorite at the shop. A creation that was made of fresh fruit and sweets – something that Bucky had spent all night making the day after he met Y/N. His eyes then shifted to Y/N’s painting, knowing very well who inspired what he believed to be her best creation. Shrugging, he leaned on the counter. “Out loud? Probably not. But there’s always a weird sort of meaning that comes from an artist’s work. They’ll figure it out eventually.”

Sam glanced back at the kitchen when he heard Bucky laugh. No doubt Y/N had done something. “Well, I hope they hurry it up. It’s getting to be a damn romantic comedy around here. And not one of the good ones.”

Steve laughed. Though he’d never admit it out loud, there was a bit of truth to Sam’s words. There always was.

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

Zombie Apocalypse AU Masterpost 2 Electric Boogaloo

Previous Post: https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/618314308275863552/zombie-apocalypse-au-masterpost

-Bdubs is slowly going feral because he has the virus, it just doesn't show itself physically.

-Cub was tempted to purposefully get the virus to try and help find a cure, (they probably don't have lab rats given the circumstances,) by Scar talked him out of it.

-The timeline of events with DocM is that he started in the NHO group, they ended up dispersing (Etho turned and then left to ensure the safety of his friends, Beef ended up going separate due to Doc and Bdubs' constant fighting and Bdubs stormed off after an argument.) He ends up getting taken in by TFC, (he's the first to arrive,) and eventually captures Rendog.

-Stressmonster and Iskall originally lived in a cabin in the mountains. After Iskall got swept away in a snow storm and Joe and Cleo stopped by, Stress had no idea there was a Zombie outbreak.

-Hypnotizd and XB ended up trespassing in Jevin's property and Jevin shot Hypno. XB pleaded to Jevin that they weren't zombies and to not hurt them further and Jevin begrudgingly went, 'okay, fine. You aren't taking my food though.'

-Impulse's weapon of choice was a shovel.

-Grian can't fly in this AU. Let's be real, if he could, it would be pretty OP.

-Keralis most definetly gave a larger share of his rations to Xisuma while he was sick.

-TangoTek entirely blames himself for Impulse leaving and Zedaph getting bit. He feels especially conflicted because he wants to leave because he's convinced they both hate him and blame him but he can't because 'what if they go looking for him?' 'What if someone worse comes from that?'

-The location of Etho's bite is right on the front of the neck. He actually passed out from blood loss initially and he very nearly died. (Luckily for him the zombie didn't pull away, ripping out anything important (like a windpipe of an oesophagus,) giving Doc time to carefully unhinge the zombie's jaw and save Etho.) Nobody was quite sure how Etho was even alive with a big chunk out of his neck until he started displaying some strange behaviour.

-False is usually the one who stays up late to stand guard and protect her group.

-Mumbo accidentally caught Hypno in one of his traps at one point but let him go.

-Hay here’s a dumb idea, The reason ren is immune to the zombie virus is because he has like an anti-zombie virus in his body it behaves just like a normal zombie virus but it doesn’t turn you into a zombie, so how the hermits turn the zombie hermits human again is by making ren bite them.

-I have an angst ending and a no-angst ending so first here's the not-angst one: Doc and Ren team up with Cub and Scar to make a cure (so Ren doesn't have to bite everyone personally). They travel around finding every bitten survivor and salvageable zombie they can, using the weapons and resources from the NHO for protection. They find ways of producing and distributing enough cure for everyone, and during that process all of the Hermits decide to stay friends and in touch afterward.

-For the Zombie AU, if Scar doesn't already have like a different role in this au, he could've possibly been the first human infected because *someone's* pet cat ate a weird looking mouse and bit their owner.

-This is very angsty and gory, so fair warning: How fast does the virus spread through the body from the bite? If slow, you can cut the bitten part off before it spreads out through the body. To doc having a robot arm, what if he got bit and out of fear, they amputated his arm to stop the spread. I know y'all probably don't wanna go with body horror, but that's something to consider in this AU.

-Lowkey I feel zombie Etho doesnt do justice to his epic PVP skillz, but!! I do see Etho to be something SIMILAR to it! Idk if you've ever played Telltale's The Walking Dead game, but Etho could a zombie whisperer, a human who wears zombie skin and lives amongst the zombies for protection. So when Etho got bit, they THOUGHt he turned but actually just decided, hey I live here now and just vibin.

-You know how ren being a werewolf is popular in the fandom(from what I've seen) maybe that's why is immune to being a zombie and getting bitten by him if your infected cures it because the zombie infection and werewolf infection cancel eachother out.

-A more jokey Zombie!Au thing: The first episode of Llamas with hats but it's Zombie!Etho and Beef.

-I feel like if Wels could get to some of his friends he would try his hardest to protect them and if he ever managed to get bit it would be to save someone else.

-There is just always so much angst potential in any scenario or AU where it involves the possibility of Wels sacrificing himself in some way to protect his friends from something poor bb 😔

-Would infected hermits be able to like recognize people after the infection zombified them or whatever it is? Because if so oh my god imagine the angst.

(All those above in red are from our community's lovely anons!)

-About the anti-zombie Ren bite thing: Doc has the idea suddenly in the middle of an argument so the conversation goes a little like this:

Ren: "So what I'm trying to say, my dude, is that would never work because -"

Doc: "Ren. Bite me."

Ren: "Oh yeah, real mature way to end a disagreement there -"

Doc: *facepalming* "No, Ren, I mean actually.... Just do it, I'll explain later."

-Angst ending: They could never produce enough cure to stem the tide of undeath. They all choose to band together and take shelter underground, hoping to wait it out. They use X's tunnel, but that many people that close together smells irresistible to a horde. The zombies flood after them into the tunnel. X says he'll buy them some time, even though he is terrified. He collapses the tunnel on himself and the zombies so the others can escape. His last thought: At least I get to die as myself.

-Thinking about Etho's bite location (you said it was on his neck): Most bites are on the shoulder or leg (bit from behind while running away) or on the arm (bit while raised to defend). To be bitten on the neck he would have to have his arms and shoulders lowered. Etho, being a good fighter, would have only done this if it was absolutely necessary. Conclusion: he was bitten with his arms stretched out to protect someone behind him, and he knew the consequence that his choice would have.

-(@shadeswiftdraws.)

-The NHO are all strangely dressed (Etho is kakashi, Doc is green, Bdubs has a bandana,) because they were all at a cosplay convention. (-@tomcatacaphe.)

-When Etho left The nHo, he brings a Journal with him. Every Night he'll write a Journal entry. He'll write just about anything, there even some random lyrics and some pretty flowers he pick up along his travels. But as the Journal goes on, the words slowly became wobbly. Inconsistent. until finally, Unreadable chicken skrach. His final (at least readable) entry is: "-I hoPE yoU GUyZ ArE DoInG bETThEr ThAn I Am" As some point in time, Etho lost his Journal and Joe hills found it.

-Speaking of Joe Hill, he made it his personal mission to collect every literature and entertament media he can possibly carry on him. From Dnd Book, poetry, Documentary DVD's, to random journal He think would be usefull. Stress is happy to help Joe but Cleo is a little annoyed because it's will only slow them down, but Joe Argued that "If there's no knowledge left, then what will the future be? Just staying alive and surviving?" Cleo begrudgingly agrees.

-I can totally see Joe and Cleo Rocking an actual Sword and Dnd Cosplay (Joe got is a gift while Cleo Commissions her's after seeing Joe whip out his sword one time in a one shot DnD session) they keep the swords, but they ditch the Costume pretty early on tho.

-Mumbo's next Job Interview would be schedule at Concorp. But then the Zombie apocalypse happened on his way there.

(-@tearosepedall.)

-I don’t want this au to end but here’s my take: most of them get to the bunker where they don’t develop a cure, but do create a vaccine. Occasionally they will venture out to hand out the vaccine to survivors. Still, they all decide to stay into stay together. But because they were unable to develop a cure, even though they really try, there are some how have been lost such as etho, zed, and mumbo. Still the rest of them morn and try their best to survive without modern society. (-@lookitsspacekween.)

https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/618587883366957056/tw-very-brief-mention-of-vomit-general-warnings (-@carpe-shovelem.)

-Funny/happy ending to the Zombie AU: The hermits set up a zombie funneling system where the ones that didn't die from infection get bit by Ren to get turned back and they return the dead and give them proper burials. (-@my-cat-is-a-bastard.)

-I just remembered the thought post with Tuartis sleeping through things, Bdubs sleeping through the apocalypse, but now we've got Wels on the sleep team too! Wonder if he'd have slept through the apocalypse as well... (-@853dragons.)

TW: Mentions of dead animals:

I've got one last bit for the zombie au, it ties into my parasite one: With the rumors that the outbreak started in the Convex cancer research facility, and Scar feeling guilt because he Should Have Been Able To Stop This... It really was their fault. As a company. It wasn't intentional, of course, but Convex created the parasite. It was during research into a cure for certain conditions that are notoriously risky/impossible to perform surgery on, like brain tumors or lukemia-type cancer. The hope was to utilize the parasites as something that could harmlessly go in, eat or destroy all the cancerous cells, then die off, leaving a perfectly healthy human. The research project was abandoned after a several years, when every single attempt ended with either dead or, in later years, extremely sickly rats. Although the final round seemed promising, the rats weren't showing obvious signs of a decline in health after two weeks, Convex was convinced to just give it up and that the utilization of parasitic worms was asking for more trouble than it was worth. Plus, PETA was getting dangerous with their choices in protest against the tests, which was the main reason it was called off. Cub and the board of directors didn't want to risk bodily harm to their researchers, and it truly was getting so beyond ridiculous that a few bodyguards weren't enough protection.

Some researchers took some of the test rats home as pets, including our Patient Zero, because they really were quite cute. Patient Zero got bit by his rat, and nobody really thought anything of it for a couple weeks until his behavior took a bad turn. He was picking fights and throwing verbal abuse, and no amount of warnings and write-ups were giving any hint of stopping him. It all finally resulted in him viciously biting fellow labworkers, which sent two of them and himself to the ER. Upon arrival he had to be restrained and isolated lest he bite more people. He was fired from the company, his bodyguards pulled, but Scar had been friends and continued to visit him regularly, wondering where the change had come from, and saddened by his old friend's obvious decline in health. Nurses told him he was refusing to eat or drink, and too violent to reason with nor release to anywhere but the police or psychiatric hospital. Soon, there were more reports of uncharacteristicly aggressive actions from PZ's victims. And from there.... Well, it's your choice where the story goes, but it didn't take long for Scar to put the puzzle together.

-(@basaltdragon.)

More to be added!

[stowaway-macaw]

Biome Curse (Part 4)

The next day, both Grian and Scar were eager to get going, whether they were actually ready to or not. Both of them just wanted the mess to be over with, and their morning experience only reinforced their desire. Scar had woken up about twenty minutes before Grian and used the time to carefully plan out the command he would give his newfound familiar. He knew he had to be thorough since Grian physically couldn't disobey him. There was a lot that both of them still didn't know about the jungle and what either of them could do, nor did they know why the jungle was so fond of them, Scar in particular.

Either way, while Scar contemplated this, he looked over to Grian's sleeping form. The feathered mask had been pulled over his face for the whole night and he had slept on his side to avoid crushing the mask. Normally, he would have slept on his stomach or back, but he hasn't figured out how to get his wings to go away. Scar couldn't see Grian's face, nor could he see most of his hair since it was covered in a mass of brightly colored feathers. Once the twenty minutes had passed, Scar decided to wake Grian up himself. Carefully, trying not to step on the giant wing that was sprawled out over his friend and the floor, Scar made his way over to Grian and gently shook his shoulder.

"Hey. Hey, it's morning." Grian didn't so much as stir, but Scar continued to shake him.

"Hey," Scar tapped the mask since he couldn't poke his familiar's face, and that earned a reaction. As if it was an arm brushing his hand away, Grian's colorful wing rose to shoo off Scar's hand. In the clumsy motion, the wing pushed the mask off of Grian's face and Scar caught a glimpse of the skin underneath. But as soon as Scar had seen it, the entire form was gone. In a woosh of color and feathers, Grian's sleeping form was sucked into the glass pendant by a similar spectacle to what had originally accompanied Grian's arrival when Scar had put on the pendant that he still wore around his neck. No trace was left behind, save for a few stray feathers floating to the ground.

Scar panicked. 

"Ooh, no no no no, what was that!? H-hey, come back- darnit I still can't say your name…" Despite the lack of names, the pendant still performed exactly what it had done twice now, and yet again, Grian appeared in front of Scar, slightly groggy this time and his mask off of his face.

"Wha-" 

"You're back! I was scared that I did something wrong!" Scar looked at Grian, relieved.

"Did… did I go somewhere?" Scar recounted the events to Grian, and apparently all Grian had experienced was a good night's sleep.

"So, I guess the pendant is like your… I don't know what you'd call it… home?" Grian's face scrunched up at the implications, but he didn't disagree.

The chaotic morning served as a motivator for them to get moving and soon enough, the two met outside, Grian's mask having been donned as soon as he had gotten the chance. They walked to the edge of the lake and turned to face each other.

"Ready?" Scar asked, a look of determination on his face. Grian nodded curtly with a similar amount of determination in his eyes. Scar took a deep breath and relayed what he had repeated in his head during the twenty minutes before their "morning incident".

"Go fly over to the shopping district and wait on the rock in your barge for a hermit to spot you. It shouldn't take too long since you stand out. Keep your mask on if they look like they can be negotiated with, but take it off and bail if they try to attack you and look like they won't let you go. If you are able to talk with someone, ask them what they'd wish for if they could wish for anything in the world. Once they tell you, say that you can grant their wish if they're willing to help you. If they're interested, then tell them you'll grant their wish if they investigate the jungle's magical properties. If they agree, tell them it's a deal, and write the wish down to give to me once your task ends. Answer any questions they might have however you see fit. Only return to me if I need you, if the sun sets and you have a wish to give me, or if you are forced out of the shopping district." Scar gave Grian a look that asked "does that sound good?" And Grian nodded.

"Alright, go." And with that, Grian took to the skies in flight that felt a bit too natural and followed his mental map to the cowmmercial district. It didn't take long, since flying with wings was surprisingly fast and he swooped down to the barge that nobody knew was his and perched himself on the rock, waiting for a hermit to pass by. He waited and waited, listening carefully for the sound of rockets or footsteps or anything that would signify a presence. Random parrots had somehow flown all the way from the jungle and we're perched around him while he waited. They grew in number the longer he waited and sang little tunes and ate some seeds Grian had brought with him. Hours passed before anyone came, during which Grian wondered what Scar was up to all alone. 

The first hermit that Grian saw was Bdubs, but the first hermit that saw him was Stress. She was still wearing her flower crown, and she had been walking by the barge to put up a poster. She spotted Grian from a fairly long distance and froze, obviously not sure what to do. Her mind was racing. Who was that? Were they a hermit? Were they dangerous? The two locked eyes and after many seconds of silent staring several meters apart, Stress started inching closer, her curiosity getting the better of her, as well as something in her gut telling her she could trust this very colorful person. She stepped close enough to see the purple in his eyes and the two kept staring for what seemed like forever. Finally, Stress spoke up.

"Who are you?" Grian, of course, was incapable of saying his or Scar's name, but for whatever reason, he hadn't anticipated this dilemma as much as he should've. Instead he said:

"I'm someone who can offer you your heart's desire." Stress was visibly confused by this.

"What? What do you mean?" She asked, gaining confidence.

"If you could wish for anything in the world, what would it be?" This question struck something in the pink-clad hermit, and she faltered. What would she wish for? She thought back to recent events and recalled the immense distress that she had seen several hermits in, especially lately. Mumbo lived close to her and she had seen how everything he did had an undertone of paranoia. She saw how Cub would look like he was constantly looking for something, or someone. She saw that Xisuma had been holed up in his admin room, trying to deal with the mysterious message that had appeared yesterday morning. She saw how the mayoral candidates seemed to loose their drive suddenly, and Bdubs kept looking at the empty spot on the popularity poll, brows furrowed and eyes unfocused. 

She could tell everyone was on edge and she didn't know why. She didn't know what to do about it either. Yes, she was running for mayor, but that was a challenge by Mumbo. She hardly felt confident in her own leadership skills, much less her ability to relieve the tension that had occurred among the hermits so suddenly.

"I'd wish… I'd wish for me to know how to support the other hermits… " Grian was genuinely unsure if that was something he and Scar could even grant, but he couldn't exactly refuse her.

"I can help. I just need a small favor in return and I'll grant your wish." The words spilled out of his mouth, seemingly against his will. Meanwhile, Stress looked wary and more skeptical than ever. Everything the bird man said just kept getting more and more suspicious. Despite that, her gut still told her she could trust him. His eyes looked into hers, and for the briefest of moments, she saw a friend in them. Someone she knew well and would trust with her life. But it was merely brief and was gone before she could process the feeling those eyes gave her. Even so, it was enough to sway her judgement and humor the proposal.

"What kind of favor?" Grian sighed inwardly, genuinely surprised she was actually interested.

"Very simple: do some research on the magical properties of the jungle and bring me the information. Just as much info as you think is right. I'll gladly help you if you agree." Stress hesitated. Why would he need that? Truth be told, he looked magical enough already. Even so… if he could actually help her, the hermits might not constantly look like they're walking on eggshells. It was nothing but discomfort for all of the hermits for an entire day and she wanted to end it, for her and everyone else. If even their most optimistic hermits were in this slump, it would take a miracle to get everyone out of it. Besides, what could the feathery man do with such little information?

"... Fine. But if you end up betraying me, I'll get the rest of the hermits and chase you out." Grian was glad that Stress couldn't see his grimace.

"I wouldn't expect anything less." 

"And one more thing." Grian lifted an eyebrow before remembering that Stress couldn't see it so he tilted his head to the side instead.

"Yes?" He asked. Stress eyed him suspiciously.

"What's your name?" Grian wanted so bad to shout his name, but the syllables simply wouldn't form. Instead, he repeated what he had said earlier.

"I'm someone who can offer you your heart's desire." Stress narrowed her eyes even more, this time in frustration as she realized she wouldn't get an answer out of him. She finally sighed.

"Alright. Fine, have it your way." She turned on her heel and rocketed away, forgetting about her original reason for going to the cowmmercial district. Grian simply sat there until he was sure she had left the district before he took out a book and scribbled down what she had said. The rest of the day was incredibly quiet and when the sun began to set on the horizon, Grian took to the skies again. As he flew back to the part of the jungle hidden by a magic barrier, he felt a bit of comfort remembering the incredibly brief look of familiarity in Stress's eyes, and also the upwards of thirty parrots that were flocking behind him during his flight. Despite the situation, he still liked the colorful birds.

[adiabolikpastel]

Losing You

Rating: PG-13 - minor sex scene & male x male

Word Count: 4461

Original Character(s): Skye Oakly & Alrick Rosenfeld 

ღ This is the first written commission I have ever gotten! Thank you to @the-sloth-woman for writing our boys together! The art for both characters was done by @minoux-draws​

An AU piece where demons have taken over, however cannot breed normal. They must use the human’s to secure linage for the future. The Rosenfeld clan captures a human girl to marry off to the head of the family, young Alrick. 

Reluctantly, the snake demon prepares for his wedding. There is just one last thing he must do. A young siren who had been his lover for quite some time. Will the two be able to maintain a connection after the big news?ღ

♬° ✧❥✧¸.•*¨*✧♡✧ ♬° ✧❥✧¸.•*¨*✧♡✧ ♬° ✧❥✧¸.•*¨*✧♡✧ ♬° ✧❥✧¸.•*¨*✧♡✧

Alrick closed the door to the penthouse with a resolute click. Anger radiated off him in waves, and it took every inch of his self-control not to rip the door off its fucking hinges. 

Why was she so goddamn frustrating!? Surely she could see that he didn’t want to be mated to her either. There were hundreds of demons who he would have been better suited with. Men and women who were thousands of times less infuriating as one stupid human girl. He would have done better to trade her off to the brothel owners. At least there she would find something to do with her stupid mouth. 

He shook his head and took a deep breath through his nose. He couldn’t think about Lilly right now, not when he had so much on his plate. There was the ceremony to arrange on top of his normal workload. And that was an enormous task altogether. Was he supposed to just appear in traditional ceremonial dress with no forethought? Please. He didn’t have time to waste fighting with humans. 

The first and most pressing matter was, unfortunately, going to be the most difficult. Alrick was an extremely popular demon lord, and living alone for so long had left him a string of paramours. There were many that he did not care about, women who were little more than one-night stands and whose memories were clouded through fogs of wine. There were demons with whom he had more established relationships with, but they would understand his predicament. They would understand how his honor demanded that he put aside his own needs for the future of his people. And even then it had been weeks since he had seen anyone who particularly struck his interest. 

But there was one person who he was dreading bringing the news to. He had been seeing Skye on and off for months, and while they had an extraordinary physical relationship, they had managed to keep it hidden from most of the ruling class of demons. Their conversation would be messy, and full of feelings that Alrick didn’t know how to handle. The cowardly part of him wanted to prolong the conversation until after the ceremony. But Alrick wouldn’t let himself be a coward, no matter how difficult it would be. 

He spent most of the day making arrangements for the ceremony. His family’s uchikake needed to be pressed and cleaned, the sake needed to be chosen, and he sent out invitations to most of the ruling class. He also ordered contraceptive tea for afterward, just in case the mating did not take hold. There was nothing worse than being forced to raise a cub with someone who was incompatible with you. 

Truthfully, he was putting off calling Skye for as long as possible. The clock on his desk slowly ticked down toward the end of the day. He had one last night of freedom before being bound to a human, and he knew he had to make the most of it. He picked up the phone on his desk with a heavy heart and rang the Sakamaki family. 

Skye’s familiar voice greeted him on the other end of the line. “Sakamaki residence, this is Skye speaking. My masters are out of the house for the evening, may I take a message?” 

For once Alrick was thankful for the human invention of the telephone. It was much faster than sending a messenger, and the person on the other end didn’t have to see the look on his face. “It’s me,” he said, not bothering to introduce himself. 

The tone of Skye’s voice changed immediately. “Alrick- I mean, Your Highness,” he gushed. “It’s so nice to hear from you. Is there anything I can do for you? Anything at all?” 

Alrick tried not to wince at Skye’s familiar flirting. “I need to see you tonight. Can you meet me for dinner?” 

“Tonight? Well, the Sakamakis are busy, I’m really not supposed to leave the manor unattended.” 

“Shit,” Alrick ran his hand through his hair. “Then find an excuse to leave.” Skye’s warm laugh trilled through the end of the phone. “Really Alrick, has it been so long since you last saw me that you’re resorting to ordering me around? I’ll come much faster if you ask nicely,” he teased. “You should know that better than anyone.” 

The double entendre of Skye’s words was not lost on Alrick, but his mood was too sour to appreciate them. “Please, Skye,” he rarely ever let himself plead with another person, but he was desperate. “This is urgent. I need you, and it can’t wait.” 

“O-oh,” the tone of Alrick’s voice had thrown the flirty attitude form Skye’s voice. “Yeah, sure.” 

“Great. Meet me at our usual spot in half an hour. And don’t be late.” Alrick couldn’t see it, but he knew the authority in his voice was enough to make Skye shiver. “Of course. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” 

The nerves in Alrick’s stomach were only intensified by the fact that he arrived at the restaurant ten minutes early. He ordered a bottle of wine for the table and then waited for what felt like an eternity. He fidgeted in his suit, his eyes darting towards the door every few seconds. He had no idea what he was going to say to Skye. To tell him what was going on between him and Lilly was going to be excruciating. He remembered once when they had first started sleeping together when a waitress made the mistake of flirting with Alrick. Skye kissed him so possessively afterward that Alrick thought his lips were going to fall off. 

The door to the restaurant jingled at Skye’s arrival. The scales that curved around his eyes sparkled in the setting sun and Alrick felt a pang of guilt in the pit of his stomach. He was dressed in a crisp skirt that fell just above his knees and a sweater that accentuated the curve of his waist. His hair was tied into a loose bun at the top of his head, the rest of his long tresses trailing down his back. Alrick couldn’t tell if it was one of Skye’s many wigs or his real hair, but he looked pretty nonetheless. 

“Alrick,” Skye greeted him with a warm smile. “Or is this official business? Should I call you ‘Prince Rosenfeld’ instead?” 

Alrick grimaced at the title and loosened his tie. “You don’t have to do that when it’s just us.” 

“That’s not what you said the other night,” Skye purred, throwing his arms around Alrick in a soft hug. “I seem to recall you not letting me finish if I didn’t beg for ‘Prince Rosenfeld’ to give me permission-” 

“Shhh, shh!” Alrick pressed his thumb to Skye’s lips to silence him. “Do you really want to spill all our bedroom secrets in the middle of the restaurant?” 

“Well, not all of them,” Skye’s eyes flashed invitingly and took his seat across the table. “Just the ones that really embarrass you.” 

Alrick chuckled, some of the weight on his chest lifting. “I’ve missed you.” 

“I missed you too. You look tired,” Skye eyed the cut of Alrick’s suit. “Did you come directly from work?” 

“What gave it away?” Alrick poured himself a large glass of wine. “I didn’t have time to go home and change before meeting you, I hope you don’t mind.” That was a half-lie. The real reason he didn’t want to go home was that the human girl would be waiting for him, and seeing her would just make everything much worse. 

“Alrick, when have I ever minded you in a suit? You know they’re one of my favorite things to take off you.” 

“I suppose you’re right about that,” he ran his hand in his hair. “And am I right to assume that’s exactly what you’re thinking about doing right now?” 

“Alrick! How could you accuse me of such lewd and lascivious behavior?” 

“Because I’ve been sleeping with you long enough to know how your mind works.” Skye let out a burst of giggles and covered his mouth. “You caught me, I’ve been thinking about ripping it off of you since I walked in.” 

A wide grin spread across Alrick’s face. Before he could stop himself he said, “Maybe I’ll have to let you rip it off with your teeth.” 

The gravity of what he just said hit him a few moments later. There would be no more bedtime trysts with Skye. After tomorrow he would have a mate, and whether he liked it or not he would be bound to her for all of eternity. He swallowed thickly, the weight of his honor feeling like a large burden. Alrick was the demon prince, and he had a duty to his people before himself. Skye immediately noticed the change in Alrick’s demeanor. “What’s wrong? Was it something I said?” 

“No, no,” Alrick waved his wine glass, taking a long sip. “You haven’t done anything, I promise you. Actually, you’re doing too little. Talk to me, tell me about your day.” 

“Alright...” Skye trailed off, unsure. “It wasn’t very eventful. I did all the things the Sakamaki’s asked me to. Make tea, get the mail, answer the phones. Laito had me arrange a visit to the brothel for tomorrow morning, which should be super fun to clean up after.” 

“Of course he did.” Skye looked around to see if anyone was listening in and then leaned across the table with a wicked expression on his face. “You didn’t hear it from me, but I heard that the last time he went there one of the girls was so scared off by whatever he did that she ran out into the street and almost got hit by a car.” 

“Ugh,” Alrick wrinkled his nose. “What could he even think up that would scare someone that badly?” 

“I have no idea but I wish I did. Whatever it was, I don’t think it would have scared me if it was with you.” 

Fuck. There it was again, the unspoken weight that dangled over Alrick’s head like a sword. He swallowed the last of his wine and hung his head. There was no use in prolonging it, he had to come clean to Skye. “Listen, there’s something I need to-” 

“I know.” 

“E-eh?” Alrick blinked, flabbergasted. “You know...?” 

“I know you’re upset.” Skye’s voice softened. “You’ve been getting this terrible look on your face all night.” 

“Ugh... I didn’t realize I was being that obvious.” He slumped in his seat. “Hey, hey...” Skye walked over to Alrick and slid his hand along his cheek. “Do you want to get out of here?” 

The touch of his hand was enough to make Alrick melt. “Leave...?” 

“Of course,” Skye’s thumb trailed down the side of Alrick's jaw. “We could get a hotel room, just the two of us. I think I know something that will really make you feel better.” His voice was dark with promise. 

Alrick sighed before responding. The temptation to disappear with him was strong. It would be so easy for Alrick to lose himself in Skye, to forget all his worries if only for a little while. 

The feelings that Alrick had been fighting all night suddenly swallowed him whole. “Yeah,” he said, sinking into the comfort of Skye’s touch. “Yeah, let’s get out of here.” 

The hotel rose high above the expanse of the city, almost as high up as Alrick’s penthouse. It was lavishly decorated with the finest amenities, including a huge bar on the first floor. The room itself had a wide window that overlooked the other buildings of the district: glittering patches of light that faded away to the curling fog of the mountainside in the distance. 

It was a shame that neither of them noticed any of that. Alrick’s lips were locked onto Skye’s the minute they got into the car. They crashed into the hotel room, their hands fumbling against clothing and furniture. Alrick barely had time to catch his breath before Skye descended upon him, pushing him up against the wall and kissing his way down his body. The feel of his lips was enough to make Alrick’s eyes roll back in his head with pleasure, but he wasn’t content to lose himself in his mouth alone. Alrick wanted more, he needed more. If this was going to be their last night together he had to make it count. 

He resolutely moved Skye to the bed, lowering him onto his back like he had so many times. Alrick briefly remembered the first time they had snuck away to fuck. Skye had caught his eye from across the room, flashing Alrick a sensual smile. They had barely managed to find an empty room before Skye was lowering himself onto his knees, taking him into his mouth like a holy sacrament. It was hot and unbelievably addictive. They both knew without saying that one time wouldn’t be enough. 

The memory caused a twinge of pain to stir in Alrick’s chest and he buried himself in Skye to block out the pain. He fought it off bravely, taking solace in the other demon’s hands and thighs. He found peace in the taste of Skye’s lips, bringing him closer and closer to his mouth. Underneath him, Skye met each and every one of his thrusts with ease. They had been together so many times that it was almost second nature, but that didn’t mean that Alrick wasn’t spellbound by the sound of Skye’s voice in pleasure. Just the sound of his name as he arched underneath him was enough to send Alrick over and over the edge. 

Later, when they were both spent and clinging to one another for warmth, the guilt returned to Alrick. He had spent so much time with Skye today and he still hadn’t broken the news about the mating ceremony. Perhaps it would be worse now that they had spent the evening making love. 

“You know,” Skye lazily rolled onto Alrick’s chest, his wig slightly askew. “I’m going to be so upset if I can’t sit properly tomorrow because of you. I might have to call you back and return the favor.” 

Alrick stared at the ceiling with unseeing eyes. “You always promise that but you’ve yet been able to make me that sore.” 

“That sounds like a challenge- wait, you don’t look happy about that.” Akye propped himself up onto his elbow. “Pet name,” he used his ironic term of affection, “what’s wrong?” 

It was time. Alrick sat up slowly, extracting his limbs from their tangled mess. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and avoided Skye’s confused gaze. 

Skye reached for Alrick’s shoulder and attempted to rub away his troubles. “Alrick, please... tell me what’s going on.” 

Alrick stared at the floor and took a moment before speaking. “Do you remember a few days ago when they found that human girl? The one they found at the edge of the mountainside?” 

“Of course I do,” Skye sat beside Alrick and carefully removed his wig. “It was all anyone could talk about. I just assumed she was going to be given to the demon lord who had found her.” 

Alrick’s hands were clenched into fists on his knees. “You’re not wrong.” Skye threaded his hand through Alrick’s hair. “I don’t see why that would make you this upset. Unless you wanted her for your own,” he chuckled hollowly. “Don’t tell me that you’re planning to leave me for a silly little human.” 

The silence that hung in the air was suffocating. Skye tried again, his voice tinged with panic. “You’re not really planning on abandoning me for a human. Right, Alrick?” 

“She...” Alrick’s shoulders sagged slightly. “She was found by my men. That means she belongs to me.” 

Skye’s hand froze in Alrick’s hair. “You can’t be serious.” 

“I am. She’s- we’re... I’m...” Alrick turned away, his heart feeling icy. “She’s going to be my future mate.” 

It was Skye’s turn to be silent. “Oh... Right, of course.” The resignation in his tone broke Alrick’s heart. Skye pulled away and wrapped his arms around his legs under the blanket. “Of course she is,” he continued. “You’re a prince, it’s only natural that one day you would... That we would have to end.” 

“I’m sorry... I never thought that this would happen-” 

“Don’t.” Skye cut him off. “Don’t say you didn’t know this was going to happen. You’ve always known what your role in the world is. You’re Alrick fucking Rosenfeld-” tears sprang at 

the corners of his eyes but he ignored them. “Don’t you even try to say that you weren’t going to leave me for a woman one day.” 

Alrick reeled from Skye’s anger. “Parakeet, this isn’t my fault. I wasn’t saying that this wasn’t inevitable, I just didn’t expect it to happen so soon.” 

Skye barely heard him. “Who cares about that? Now, later, it doesn’t matter. I guess it’s better this way, so I don’t get too attached.” 

“Parakeet-”

“Don’t!” Skye turned on Alrick, his golden eyes blazing. “How can you still call me that when you'll be sharing a bed with her?!” 

“Skye, this isn’t my choice!”

“It’s not mine either!” Skye stared down at his body, hating every inch of himself. “It’s not fair, it’s not fucking fair...” He wiped his eyes with a shaking hand and pulled the covers up over his chest. 

“I know it’s not fair...” Alrick reached and took his hand, tugging the blanket free from his fingers. “Skye, I promise you that I didn’t plan for any of this to happen.” 

Skye’s tears fell harder at the sincerity in Alrick’s voice. He shook his head and his tears dripped onto his scales, making them shine. “It doesn’t matter if you planned it or not, that doesn’t change the fact that it’s happening anyway!” 

“I know!” The words ripped themselves from Alrick’s mouth. “Do you think I want this? That I want to be trapped with someone I’ve only known for two days? To be mated to a human-” he choked on the word. He felt like he was repeating the argument he had with Lilly in some sick circle that never ended. “Nothing about this is my choice, Skye.” 

“Then don’t go through with it.” Skye threw himself out of bed and knelt before Alrick, pleading. “Turn her away, give her to someone else. You’re the prince Alrick, you can be with anyone you want.” His words came in a frantic rush as he beseeches Alrick. “You don’t have to live a life that’s not yours. Say there’s something wrong with her, say she’s defective. And then we can stay together!” 

“You know I have to-“

“Why?! Why is this so important to you, more important than me?” 

“Because you know we’re dying out.” Alrick felt detached from the situation like he was viewing all from a very long way away. “Because ever since we nearly wiped out the humans we’ve been unable to have any children of our own. I have to do this so our kind can have any sort of future, even if it’s one with mixed blood.” 

Skye sagged, defeated. “It’s not fair... I hate the humans for what they’ve done to us.” Alrick slid his hand along Skye’s jaw, tilting his face to meet his. “As do I, Parakeet. They’ve ruled over us for thousands of years, it’s not right that they kill us off like this. That’s why we have to keep fighting back. And why I as the prince have to fight back hardest of all.” 

Skye’s tears finally seemed to come to a close. “You’re right,” he murmured. “For the good of the people, right...?” 

“For the good of the people,” Alrick repeated bitterly. 

“Well...” Skye folded himself beside Alrick’s legs and leaned his head on his knee. “We still have until the ceremony. I can try to be by your side as much as possible before then. I’ll convince one of the Sakamakis to send me on errands for you. And maybe it won’t be so hard by the time the ceremony comes...” He reached for Alrick’s hand, placing it atop his own head. “How long do we have before she becomes your mate?” 

Shit. Alrick was a fool. How could he have thought that prolonging telling would have made this easier? He felt sick. Sick of himself, sick of his circumstances, and sick of the human girl who he just so happened to catch. “It’s tomorrow.” 

“Tomorrow?!” Skye’s head snapped back like he had been slapped. “Why did you wait until now to tell me?” 

All their promised time together came crashing down around them. After the mating ceremony, there would be no more sneaking around. Not because Alrick respected his human mate, but because he would be bound to her. Demon mating ceremonies were so much more than simple human weddings. If everything went as planned, he would want no other after her. They would be bonded for life. 

There was nothing more to say now. He could tell from the heartbroken look on Skye’s face that he made his mistake even bigger. Alrick stared past him and spoke to the opposite wall. “She was found only a few days ago, there wasn’t much time for me to-” 

“No, no! You could have told me when they found her! You could have told me when the damn council made their decision. You had days, Alrick. Days!” 

“I know!” He gave Skye a glare that stopped him from speaking. “I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to fucking hurt you.” 

“C-can’t you see that this hurts me more?” Skye’s voice broke. “How can I go on knowing that this will always be our last night together? That you and I got into a fight because you were being stupid, uncaring, selfish-” 

“I’m not being selfish!”

“Yes, you are! Can’t you think about how this is affecting anyone but yourself?” “Parakeet!” Alrick cupped Skye’s cheeks and held him when he tried to jerk away. “You are the only other person who I care about right now. Not the council and definitely not her.” Alrick’s voice softened. “There is nothing in this world I would ever want to do to hurt you. Can’t you see how much I don’t want to do this? That it hurts me to hurt you like this...?” 

An explosive sob wrenched itself from within Skye’s chest. He collapsed forward into Alrick, crying freely into his arms. “I’m sorry,” Alrick whispered, tucking his head under his chin. “I’m so sorry, Skye...” 

They sat like that until Skye’s sobs became muffled sniffles. Alrick threw a glance out the window and saw the sky had lightened considerably. “Shit...” 

Skye followed his gaze. “You have to go, don’t you...?”

“I do.” Alrick sighed and felt a thousand years older. “The ceremony is in a few hours. I need to get some sleep.” 

Skye did not need Alrick to tell him what the ceremony entailed. He had seen a few himself, and he could not bear to watch Alrick fuck another woman- let alone see it on public display. “I won’t be there.” 

Alrick chuckled quietly and extracted himself from Skye’s grasp. “I wouldn’t want you to be. I don’t even want to be there myself-” he began finding his discarded clothes strewn about the room- “and I don’t have the luxury to blow it off.” 

Skye nodded and watched Alrick redress. Within minutes he was the same man who met him in the restaurant. Poised, calm, and unbearably handsome. Alrick ran a hand through his hair to smooth it back in place., completing the look. “I’m going to miss you...” 

“I”m going to miss you too, Parakeet... Swear that you’ll never forget me?” 

“How could I? I think you’ve ruined me for other men,” Skye laughed without humor. 

“Don’t say that,” Alrick stroked Skye’s cheek with the back of his hand. “Don’t let my departure ruin any of your future happiness. Promise me that.” 

“I’ll try...” 

“Thank you...” Alrick reluctantly let his hand drop. He moved to the door, his shoulders already stiff with apprehension. “I’ll see you when it’s over, Parakeet.” 

Skye did his best to smile. “You too, Pet Name...” Alrick gave Skye one last look, memorizing the way he looked under their messy bed sheets. Inside his chest he could feel his heart breaking. Alrick had been in pain many times before, but nothing so far had been as bad as this. 

He took a deep breath and buried his feelings as far down as they would go. He stepped through the door and into his new life. 

Skye did not sleep. He sat in the puddle of blankets Alrick left behind and felt utterly miserable. He wanted to cry but he had no more tears left. He wanted to scream, but his throat was raw from all the sobbing. He wanted to break every single thing in the damn room but he had no energy. All he could do was sit and feel horrible. 

There was nothing left for him to do anyway. Even without the human interfering, he and Alrick were never meant to be. He had just entertained the thought for far too long... 

He pressed a pillow to his face and fought off another round of sobs. Every fantasy he ever had with Alrick had been ripped to pieces within a few hours. He had so many dreams for the two of them, so many things that would have made him happy. And now there was nothing. 

Unless... If the human woman couldn’t produce children with Alrick she would be taken away, thrown in the brothel where she belonged. If they were a bad match she would be given to another demon, that was a possibility. Or perhaps an accident would befall her, something terrible like falling off a building. Maybe she would even do herself in. Skye heard she put up quite a fight when she was caught, and there was a rumor that her mother was one of the resistance leaders. And if all else failed, he would just have to wait. Human lives were so short compared to a demon’s. There was no law that said Alrick couldn’t take a new mate if his first one died. Skye settled into the bed, finally feeling some sort of peace. He could be patient, he could wait. And if he couldn’t there were then enough ways for him to rectify the situation. The human may have been Alrick’s mate after tomorrow, but she wouldn’t stay his mate for long. 

[nicoletterogers]

task eight - high school never ends

( tw: adhd mention )

[ soundtrack ]

Let’s start with the simple stuff first. what classes did you take in high school? which ones were you most and least excited for? did you have a favorite teacher that made the days more enjoyable?

Nic propped her leg up on a chair, leaning in as she listened to the question. People never wanted to talk about high school--brought up bad memories for some. Some just didn’t care. Not for Nic--comparatively, high school was a good part of her life. She preferred college, but she didn’t hate her last years in the public school system. The blonde shrugged. “Well, I mean--I had to take the core classes, y’know? But my high school was big enough where we had a lot of really cool electives in all sorts of subjects--like I once took a class called ‘American History through Music”’and that was sick as fuck. I also took one on the World Wars. I liked history a lot back then. I guess I still do--but I don’t have a lot of time to sit and learn anymore. That’s why I’m big on documentaries. I mean, yeah, Liam of course--but also I like learning.” She paused, humming while she thought about her classes. “I hated English. Like what a pointless class--why would you have to learn about a language that you already speak? I mean, yes, i know, it’s not actually important. I think Lia has shared with me a few times the joy of what words mean--but i don’t know. I just never could figure out why anyone would want to spend more time than they had to writing papers or reading books. Maybe if i had taken a creative writing course or two--but nah. Give me AP Gov any day--or even trig. I was good at trig.” She paused. “Nah, teachers liked Liam. He was charismatic and charming, good at sitting and listening. School was never hard for me, but I didn’t possess the talent of sitting still for very long. I think I was...a sophomore in college when I first got diagnosed with ADHD. Did you know that ADHD often shows up different in women than men?” Nic nodded. “Yeah--its wild. Girls are significantly less likely to get a diagnosis growing up, which means that their symptoms go untreated and unsupported for crazy long periods of time--like sometimes 20 years. I think that’s why I really struggled in English--because the subject didn’t interest me and like hell i could just sit there and read something. But nah, teachers and I never bonded. Which is fine because I still did well in school. It just took some extra effort.”

and now, outside of the classroom. did you participate in any extracurricular activities like sports, band, or other clubs? were you apart of the prom planning committee or did your parent always sign up to chaperone field trips? or did you bolt home or to work at the end of the day?

“Oh hell yes. I was all about the extracurriculars. I did archery, cheerleading--don’t laugh--worked on the school newspaper for a year, managed the lacrosse team for a year, volunteered to be a mentor for incoming freshman and, of course, worked. Anything to stay out of my house. I mean, I loved Liam but my dad and I are like oil and water. He wanted me to be like Liam so badly--and I just...couldn’t. One, I wasn’t a guy--and that was disappointment enough for him. But I wasn’t Liam and spending time around dad just...it was so much pressure. So I tried to focus my time elsewhere. and I liked being busy--my brain enjoyed that piece. It was like my environment finally matched how fast my brain was working. Even cheerleading--the sport that made me a wear a skirt--was fun. Because nothing is better than proving a bunch of stupid high school boys that yes, cheerleading is a sport. a hardcore, badass sport. But if I had to pick a favorite, it would be archery. I think it’s because I got to teach it to the kiddos at camp later on, but also--like how powerful is it to be able to pull back on a bow and let an arrow fly through the sky and get a bullseye? Like it’s badass.” Nic grins at the memory. “Oh, and then seeing those kids at camp--especially the ones who struggle with who they are and their self-confidence--light up when they hit the target? the pride they have in themselves for something they’ve done? That shit’s an unreal high.” 

a night to remember. did you go to prom? if so, did you have a date or fly solo, and was it a good time where you danced all night, and what were you wearing? if not, did you have an ‘anti-prom’ party, or why else did you decide not to go? what about other school dances or pep rallies?

The blonde lets out a laugh and nods, thinking about the memory. “Oh yeah-- I definitely went to prom. I mean, I think I was always going to--but I don’t think I anticipated having a date. And definitely not winning prom queen, but that’s Malik for you. The kid was like the closest thing to a celebrity in school--I mean, I think so. He was the star jock and you know how high schoolers get about their sports. But no, Malik and I are good friends--super close. I love that guy, he’s such a good one. So of course I was going to say yes when he asked me to go with him. I’m pretty sure half of my squad was jealous, but like...that whole thing never made sense to me. The whole jealousy thing.” It sure as hell does now though. She thought bitterly, her own situation appearing back in her mind. “Anyway, we went as friends. I didn’t expect to win prom queen--hell, i didn’t even know people knew who I was. Weirdest experience ever to put a tiara on. But honestly--prom was kinda fun. Not kinda, I really enjoyed it. Malik and I did end up kissing, but it was one of those kisses where you realize, at the end of it, you’re way better off as friends than anything more? Not that the kiss was bad, not at all.” She laughed, shaking her head. “I wore this red dress with a slit up the side and I had never in my entire life though I’d wear something like that. It looked good though. Like really good. All that cheerleading paid off I think.” Another chuckle came out of her lips. “As for pep rallies-- I was in them so of course I was there. And I liked the energy of them. I’ve always liked big energy spaces--concerts, pep rallies, sporting events. It feels like--at least for a moment--you’re all connected by something greater than yourself. Maybe that’s like my church. I don’t know. But yeah, I liked pep rallies.”

some more of the hard hitting q’s. who did you sit with at lunch? did you keep the lock off your locker or decorate it? were your headphones always snaked through your sneeve? was cutting class a normal occurrence or would you never dare? did you ever get detention?

“I mean, I don’t think I was ever popular--but I always had a place to sit with someone. It was either with Liam and his friends--I guess they were also my friends, but I met them through Liam so it’s hard for me to associate them as just mine. Sometimes with my squad, but not often. I didn’t care for the dramatics of dates and boys and clothing talk. But every so often we had a good discussion on things that I did care about--sometimes it was on women’s rights, though that was a lot of Sammi repeating what her mother told her about feminism (not that it was wrong, but it wasn’t Sammi’s words, that was sure) or the fact that child workers were making the clothing they had talked about the previous day. I liked those conversations the best. But even still, it was usually me shooting the shit with Liam and our friends. I loved those guys so much, y’know? I still keep in touch with a lot of them--some have families, some just got married. In fact, I am going to Tate’s wedding in a couple weeks. Its so weird to think they’re just now getting married and...” She trailed. Maybe now wasn’t the time for that thought. “Detention? Oh yeah. Me and Mrs. Huxley were good pals by graduation. Mostly it was about cutting class--but everyone once in a while she’d catch me with a...special someone in an empty hallway. Ok, so it only happened twice and I never told Liam because he’d kill me if he knew. So I guess,” She looked up at the sky and chuckled lightly. “Surprise?” 

upward and onward. what did you want to be when you were sixteen? was there a career path in mind, a certain college, another route worth taking? were you excited to see your high school in the rearview mirror or was moving on bittersweet?  if you graduated, was it scary or exciting or a mix of both? did you end up where your younger self expected you to?

"Well, when I was really little, I wanted to be a sideline reporter for the Bears. Or a commentator for the Cubs. Something to do with sports, absolutely. I could never imagine leaving this city--not in a million years. Even at 31, the city still surprises me daily and i love that fact the most. You never know who you’re going to meet--its a giant present box you wake up in every morning. How could anyone want to leave that?” She grinned, tapping her foot. “But at 16 I think I had let go of that dream and set my sights on the Academy. Police academy. I did, briefly, think about enlisting. Thought that if I wanted to break stereotypes and gender roles, I could make a huge splash in the military. But something about that whole world--I couldn’t take the plunge. I think I wanted to support my community, keep them safe, make my home a home for all.” She sighed. “So I was going to be a cop. Plus Liam was already doing that and I couldn’t let him have all the hero glory.” She winked, smirking. “I stayed in state--in city--for school, saved me some money and I already knew the area. In fact, I didn’t really ever leave Chicago. Which, makes me small minded to some i’m sure--but why do I need to leave when the world seems to flock to chicago? Just because I never lived anywhere else doesn’t mean I haven’t been challenged to grow.” Nic shrugged. “But yeah, like I said college was probably my favorite time in my life. Like hands down. I mean how could it not be? Killed the beer pong scene, met all sorts of great people, honed my skee ball skills even more, learned some awesome things, found the love of my life--got married.” It was so much simpler at 20. So much simpler. When did everything go so wrong? “Yeah, sorry--this was about high school. Uhm--wait, what was the question again?”

and last but not least. if you could tell your younger self one thing - what would it be?

“You’re a strong cookie, Nic. Life is going to wreck you down to your core but don’t ever think it’ll destroy you. You’re too damn stubborn to let that happen--and that is not a bad thing.”

[nnessarose]

my take on gelphie.

     Firstly, I’m going to start by clarifying (whether you choose to read this or not) that I do NOT hate this ship in any way, shape, or form. I think it’s cute! Additionally, I am not purposely intending to harm or hate on anyone by writing this or make fun of any tropes that have sprung up in the fandom regarding that pair. If something that I address may apply to you, please keep in mind that I am not a robot and have not kept track of everything that you, personally, have done and that, therefore, it is not about just you! These are just my thoughts and my interpretation about the whole thing. This post is going to be entirely musical-based both because I have no problem with the book’s development of them, most of the book-based fanfiction is reasonable, and because I don’t want to only pick on the good/bad parts of each of them. Also, most of my thoughts DO come from the musical and others’ interpretations of it. So, if you choose to read this - I hope you enjoy it! If not, have a great day!

     The first thing I would like to address (if that’s the proper word) is how much I dislike the idea that as soon as they saw each other that they fell in love. I think that this is inaccurate and, honestly, a bit of a gigantic stretch. When Elphaba arrives at Shiz, she is delighted to meet new people but is quickly heartbroken by their prejudiced stares and rude comments to her. This is, undeniably, also done by Galinda. The idea that she bullies Elphaba because she is interested in her romantically is honestly just terrible ; it’s the same thing as telling a little girl that the boy who picks on her just likes her. Throughout the introductory scene at Shiz, Galinda makes jabs at Elphaba while Elphaba stands far away from her (behind Nessarose) and makes fun of the way she speaks with her sister. When Galinda accidentally volunteers to room with Elphaba, it truly is accidental ( though - thankfully - the fandom seems to accept that). This, however, brings us to the next interpretation that I dislike.

     “What Is this Feeling” is not a love song. I genuinely cannot tell if some people in this fandom are joking about this or not. It does, of course, have humor in it of mocking a love song ( “my pulse is rushing”, “my head is reeling”, etc.) but that is clearly done only for satirical purposes! After that, the song is just them picking on each other and hating for the sole reason of hating. One could argue that it is simply them denying their feelings for the other, but that simply is not true! Galinda is clearly spreading these rumors around to her friends and they are making it to the entirety of the student body who teams up against Elphaba simply to bully her. The only person on Elphaba’s side at this moment is Doctor Dillamond and Nessa, while the entire school sees Galinda as some sort of hero. I cannot fathom how people can twist this harmful bullying into love and honestly, it’s disgusting. The two girls obviously are not in love at this point, nor are they even fond of each other. Elphaba makes it clear that the only friend she has there is Nessa, if anyone. 

     To restate, the bullying doesn’t end when the song does. Throughout Doctor Dillamond’s class, Galinda proves herself to be mean again. She tears Elphaba down more and more, almost as if the girl has no emotions (or at least no HUMAN emotions). Galinda bullies Elphaba so much that it makes her not want to do anything, not want to hang out with any of her peers. Keep in mind that at this point in the show, Elphaba and Galinda have not had a proper conversation with one another, which is important. How can they possibly know each other enough to be infatuated? One may argue that their conversations are off-stage and, as valid as this may be, just doesn’t add up. If this was the case, they would not still bicker and hate each other in the later scenes.

     This brings us to “Dancing Through Life”, another song that, despite how people try to twist it, is not where the two of them magically fall in love with one another. Elphaba has been bullied and beat down so much throughout the year that she refuses to attend the ball that Fiyero is hosting, calling it a “cultish social gathering”. One could debate that she only doesn’t want to go because of how Fiyero treated her earlier, but I think this is a stretch. She blames it on people going to “worship” him, but I think her real issue is that Galinda will be there, ready to make the entire school make fun of her. Otherwise, Elphaba would be jumping to go, if not just to accompany Nessarose to keep her safe, especially after she finds that she has a date. But it is so valid that Elphaba doesn’t want to go. She’s seen Boq stand right alongside Galinda when she throws insults her way and won’t go and ruin it for her sister. 

     Once Nessa tells her to do something nice for Galinda instead of hating her, Elphaba decides that this may just work. She can see the world for a moment through Nessa’s more innocent eyes and, even if just for a few moments, thinks that this plan may work and goes to talk to Madame Morrible about including her in the sorcery seminar, which she does. Elphaba rushes to tell Galinda what she has done for her, only to be greeted with a dirty trick. She thinks that the blonde has come around in offering her this hat and that it is now safe for her to attend the party. Elphaba does not, however, go to the party for Galinda. She knows that, even if they are on better terms, that they are friends. When she arrives, however, she just sees that she has fulfilled what she didn’t want to ; Nessa is embarrassed at her sister’s outfit and upset that she had the nerve to surprise her there.

     Elphaba still decides to have the best time she can, taking the floor over to dance on if not only to say “fuck you” to her classmates. They laugh, they point, they make fun - but this time Elphaba doesn’t back down. She doesn’t let it get to her. For the first time, Galinda sees that despite her unnatural green color, she is human and experiences real human emotions. Galinda feels bad for what she has done as all of her actions come rushing back ; getting the school against the poor girl, calling her names - giving her that atrocious hat! Additionally, Madame Morrible had just told her that she was moved to her seminar (what Elphaba had been trying to tell her before). So, she goes to dance with her, perhaps as an apology. But this, still is NOT them falling in love with each other! You cannot, and should not, skip from hatred to infatuation that quickly. It isn’t healthy, and they are not an exception!

     This is the beginning of their friendship. Yes, friendship. Before “Popular”, Galinda is eager to make up with her roommate and offers her simple companionship. She decides they should tell each other a secret. When Elphaba shares her deeply personal secret, Galinda again sees how she is experiencing the same human emotions that everyone does. This scene is their first proper conversation, and it is the beginning of their blooming friendship (and eventually relationship). Galinda doesn’t respect Elphaba when she doesn’t want to talk about the bottle and, to get her way in having Elphaba share a good secret, takes the bottle from her despite how clearly she was uncomfortable and protective of it. Galinda gives Elphaba a makeover and even calls her beautiful, but I still don’t believe this is truly them falling in love. One must pause to realize that the same day they had hated each other! There are a lot of things that still must be resolved and figured out before they can trust each other, not to mention that they are both young. Elphaba leaves during “Popular” because her emotions are too much for her to handle, this is true. However, I don’t see the emotions as being romantic yet. She is just overwhelmed by the sudden change in Galinda, wondering if she is being tricked again as she was just that same day. Elphaba begins to wonder if she or Nessa were right about the girl and her intentions.

     From here, this is a divide over how the rest of the plot advances regarding a preference between Elphaba and Fiyero or Elphaba and Galinda. I think if Elphaba and Galinda fall in love, it happens in the time of the show between the scene with the Lion cub and “One Short Day”, but no sooner than that.

     The last topic I would like to address is why I do not think Gelphie should only be endgame with the proper development of events post-musical. Before you hate me, let me start by saying this does not mean I don’t think they should be together. I do! I just genuinely do not believe that they would be the right person for each other if one only takes into account the events of the musical. Firstly, they have a lot of bad connotations with each other, what with the past bullying and, eventually the stress they caused each other. For Glinda, it’s the emotional stress she went through pretending to dislike Elphaba, the years fighting against her, the pain with what happened with FIyero (even if he was just a companion to her and not a true lover), etc. For Elphaba, it’s that Glinda never tried to help her, left her during “Defying Gravity”, was the reason her sister is dead, never denied the rumors like Fiyero did, etc. They are both stubborn, and I doubt either would bring up these issues to each other, much less actually resolve them. Glinda, throughout the entire musical, does not change until the very end despite knowing what she is doing is wrong. Elphaba doesn’t deserve that. Glinda took advantage of Elphaba’s vulnerability in a friendship for years, catering their relationship to her liking almost the entire time. If the two of them do not address these very prominent issues, their relationship will just slowly deteriorate over their ignored past

     The point that is trying to be made is that while Gelphie does work, and it is adorable, I just don’t see how they can stay together without their relationship becoming unhealthy if they don’t have a proper and well-developed redemption arc. All the points that I brought up CAN be debated, even between me and myself as I was writing this! I think that whether they work at this point depends on how the rest of their days are fleshed out, whether Elphaba stays in Oz or not, and whether or not they chose to ignore the events of Act II. As wonderful as the thought of these two girls falling in love instantly may be, it is unrealistic that that is the case and, if it was, their relationship would never be healthy. Additionally, one must keep in mind that this is a musical! There isn’t enough time to include everything and as much as people claim that they would watch a four hour show - the general public would not. Changing around their character dynamics just doesn’t work. Wanting fluff is valid, but at what cost? People end up erasing some of the bad characteristics of Galinda (who was undeniably a horrible bully) and are erasing some of the strong characteristics of Elphaba (who still went to school and stayed loyal to Nessarose throughout all of the pain she went though herself). It isn’t fair to look past these just to validate your ship. Gelphie CAN work! In Act I, however, it is unlikely and Act II would need the right development to result in a happy relationship for the two of them. Once again, I will restate that I do NOT hate Gelphie. I simply wanted to share my thoughts on some aspects of how the fandom views their relationship.. I hope no one is mad at this post and please, please, please do not hate me for it! I love Gelphie, I really do!

[oneshotsinlife]

I Will Always Be With You Chapter 10: Yule

Life went on after the first encounter between Remus and Severus. Remus was now Harry’s teacher even though classes would not start until the end of the Holidays, the school material would include subjects from the muggle education method as well as introductions to subjects that Harry will have at Hogwarts. Narcissa was also interested on Remus study plan for Harry and, after long consideration, because education is a very important matter, the Malfoy Family asked Remus to teach Draco as well, who was beaming at the thought of spending more time with his friend.

It was Yule Day, a very important celebration within the wizarding community, every family had their own rituals, somewhere very old like the pureblood’s rituals, some others had just become a ritual, but the most important part of the celebration was the dinner. Every year people came together to celebrate, usually, people would invite their family and close friends to this kind of celebration.

That’s exactly why Severus Snape was getting Harry ready, doing his best to comb the mess of curls without making it look too bad, they had been invited to the Malfoy Manor to have dinner. Remus was also going, he and Severus had some conversations but never about the past, always about Harry and, surprisingly, potions, it was normal to hear Severus rambling about potions, but it was definitely unusual for him to have an audience that was genuinely curious about the topic. Harry was always curious about everything and Remus was a great listener, needless to say, that he also had his fill from time to time talking about different spells.

Their relationship had definitely improved and not only theirs, but Remus was also feeling more comfortable around the Malfoys, and Hagrid got used to constant visits from Severus and Harry, who was starting to be more confident around the tight circle of people.

Suddenly, the sound of knocking could be heard in the new family quarters, Severus put down the brush “that must be Remus, let’s go say hi, maybe he knows how to deal with your hair” Harry followed Severus to the door eager to see the werewolf. Harry did not know yet about Remus condition, the adults thought that it would be better to tell him after the full moon, this month would fall around the 27th, perfect timing in between holidays.

Remus was worried about the little one’s reaction to the news, but he also knew that it was necessary for him to know the truth, even though Severus insisted that if he was not comfortable talking about it to Harry it was completely fine to wait, which, in a way, surprised the werewolf, he somehow figured that Severus would be the first one to urge him into talking.

Remus picked Harry up the moment that he saw him “Hey cub, is your Dad struggling with your curls again?” Severus was not amused by the comment after all not everyone had the patience to deal with that mass of hair and Severus’ hair was really straight, so he didn’t have previous experiences, because braiding (badly) Lily’s hair when they were kids did not count. “Can you finish getting him ready while I dress?” Severus was still in his lab clothes because he hadn’t had a chance to take care of himself.

Remus nodded and took Harry to the child’s room “you get ready, we got this,” that’s all Severus needed to basically run to the shower. He desperately needed to get his hair washed and get rid of the potions oils that stained in his skin.

Remus sat Harry down on the chair on his room and started to brush his hair carefully to not hurt the child “What is new, Harry?” Remus asked lightly while concentrating on the little knot on the child’s hair that did not want to come off, making him frown a little.

“Yesterday Dad and I made an experiment, it was in my experiments book, it was really cool!” Harry started to tell everything about this little experiment, which it was just a little volcano, but it was enough to pick Harry’s curiosity on science, especially when he tended to question everything, not always out loud though.

Remus listened carefully to everything that Harry had to say, making sure to ask him some questions about it, he loved the fact that Harry seemed to be comfortable talking to him, that he knew that Remus would listen. It had been a process for Harry to fully open up to him, at first, Harry only talked when Severus was around, then, slowly but surely, he started to make his opinion known when they were alone.

Severus, eventually, came out of his room, fully dressed and ready, just in time to make sure they had everything they needed. He went to check on Remus and Harry who were sitting on Harry’s bed reading one of the child’s books, Harry’s hair was combed and looking like a controlled mess that made the child look even more adorable.

Severus leaned on the doorway looking at them for a second, he was glad that his son had someone else to count on, someone else to be himself with. He was also, deep down, glad that that person was Remus, it gave him a sense of peace, he did not know when this feeling started, after all, a month before he only felt disgusted towards the werewolf, which, thinking back now, it felt so wrong. Before he took Harry, everything seemed so dark and gloomy around him, but now he finally saw the light.

He stepped further into the room, clearing his throat to make his presence known, “everyone ready?” he asked looking at Harry, missing the surprised look followed by a shy smile that Remus sent his way. “We are ready Dad! Let’s go!” Harry was all too eager to go to Draco’s house, he missed his friend a lot and really wanted to play with him.

Remus was in a trance for half a second, looking at the surprisingly beautiful sight that was Severus dressed on his formal robes and freshly washed hair, contrary to popular believe, Severus' hair was rather beautiful, thick and dark that, when it was not oiled up because of potions fumes, had some volume and framed his long face perfectly. Remus shook these thoughts away, what was wrong with him, he just made peace with Severus who was clearly heterosexual, judging by his love for Lily alone, he could not and would not get a crush now.

They traveled by floo, this being the easiest way of traveling, also the safest during winter, no one wanted to walk all the way down to the Hogwarts’ gates under the snowstorm.

“Severus, Harry, Remus! Welcome” Lucius Malfoy greeted them “you arrived just in time” he then looked at Harry and smiled “Draco will be here in a moment, his mother wanted to do his hair”

Harry giggled and nodded “Thank you for inviting me Mr. Malfoy” Remus offered his hand as a greeting, which Lucius shook while saying “call me Lucius, and it’s a pleasure to have you.”

They walked towards the dining room where they found Narcissa and Draco already waiting, Draco ran and hugged Harry the second he saw him, making Harry stiffen for a second before he hugged him back “I missed you, you have to tell me about that experiment that you talked about in your letter.”

During the days that Harry and Draco could not see each other, they took it upon themselves to send letters back and forward, even though they actually only had been apart for two or three days, they needed to tell one another everything they did.

The adults thought that it was a great way for the boys to practice their writing skills and composition skills for school, so they tend to encourage for them to write, as well as, when possible, correct the letters and help out with spelling.

After the meaningless greetings they sat down at the table, the adults already talking about news at work, especially Lucius who had been listening closely to his peers, so he could determine whether or not people saw Harry and wanted to harm him. Thankfully, as for the moment, no one had any recollection of Harry, and those who had seen him were rather supportive and simply beamed at the cuteness of the child.

This did not mean that they were completely safe, after all, there were many people who would not be taken aback by the fact that Harry was still a child to use him to fulfill his own agenda. But it was a relief when the powerful people at the Ministry were unaware of Harry’s presence in the Wizarding World.

The dinner went smoothly, the conversation between the kids filled the room with little giggles that amused the adults to some extent. The houseleves made the best pork roast with rosemary and garlic which the adults accompanied with some Spanish red wine, while the children enjoyed a soda that Remus had bought in the muggle supermarket for them to try, both of them loved the fizziness and novelty of it.

For dessert, they enjoyed some Yule Log which was beautifully presented. Throughout the meal Draco, with some help from the adults, explained Harry the intricate etiquette of a formal dinner and why those kinds of protocols were important. Lucius was instantly aware of the extent of the abuse after hearing little comments from Harry like “before I was not allowed on the table” or “thanks to Dad now I can eat a bit more” even though his portions were still small and had to take a potion before the affair.

After the meal they all sat in the living room, the children talked about the presents that they would get tomorrow and played with a magical chess set, they still did not really fully understand the complexity of the game, but the basic rules were easy enough and their strategy skills got better with each game.

On the other hand, the adults were sited with a glass of their liquor of choice, except for Remus, who, according to Severus, “drinking this much would affect the effects of the potion even if you still have a couple of days before that time,” and submerge themselves in a heavier conversation.

“Millicent Bagnold is a good enough Minister, but in my opinion, he focuses more on the international opinion than what the English population needs” Lucius commented after explaining what he could of his role inside the Ministry to Remus, who really did not know what the other did.

“I have no right to vote, well… I don’t have rights… so, in my opinion, he is rather incompetent…” Remus said in a whisper, not really wanting to cause controversy, but at the same time, valuing his opinion.

“I believe, in that aspect, you are right, he should start thinking about werewolves’ rights, after all, how does he expect you to have enough money to afford the costs of living if he does not allow your kind to have a stable job? There always going to be bad people, but the good people should not suffer because of them” Narcissa said after making sure that the children were not listening, “Lucius, you should try to bring that to his attention, and that’s only scratching the surface.”

Lucius nodded from his seat, not able to verbally agree because he just had a taste of his drink. Remus was taken by surprise, he never really thought that the Malfoys, out of anyone, would actually understand his situation. Severus was silently listening, he really did not understand politics, but understood Remus problem.

“It will be a long process, but it is worth trying to convince him… the other day, I was conversing with Mrs. Perrot and she told me that her little girl was bitten a couple of months ago, thankfully she assured me that her daughter did not transform last month, they were really lucky that St. Mungos could attend her on time.”

Remus was relieved to hear that, after all, no one deserved to be in such pain, “that is really lucky when Fenrir caught me… my mum tried to take me to St. Mungos but it was too late, it had already been more than twelve hours and the bite was too deep”

Severus had the urge to extend his hand to comfort Remus, an urge that took him by surprise, but immediately related it to him comforting Harry many times before.

After a while, they were ready to leave the Manor and sleep, they would be back the next day for lunch to exchange gifts. Severus, Remus, and Harry said their goodbyes and flooed to Hogwarts.

[trishmilburn]

An Open Letter to Starship Entertainment

Hello from America. Why am I starting this letter by stating where I live? Because it’s an important part of the thoughts to follow, as you’ll see shortly.

Since I learned of Wonho’s departure from Monsta X on Oct. 31, I’ll admit to a range of emotions – disbelief, anger, grief and finally a fierce determination to see not only this decision reversed but also a real and substantial change to how K-pop idols are treated by both a sometimes cruel public with unrealistic expectations or a desire to cause chaos and the companies to which the idols have devoted their youth, time and immense efforts.

Though I’m a writer, I’ve taken this amount of time to write this letter because I needed the time to process the situation and not lash out in pure anger. I needed to try to come at this from a perspective that was something other than solely a fan who very much believes Wonho deserves to be reinstated to Monsta X at the earliest opportunity, but it’s not possible to totally separate that desire from trying to look at the situation from a business perspective. That’s because no matter how long I think about the situation, I can’t escape the fact that I believe reinstating Wonho would be the best business decision Starship Entertainment could make. And I’m not just saying that because I believe it’s the right thing to do (though I do believe that). Starship Entertainment is a company, and companies must make money to stay in business. I understand this because I make business decisions every day for my self-employed career. That said, there are times I take a stand for what’s right no matter how it might affect my career.

It’s obvious that Starship has been trying to broaden Monsta X’s international appeal with numerous concert and festival appearances around the world, including in the U.S. (including the Atlanta concert I attended this past July); collaborations with Western artists; and songs with English lyrics without sacrificing the group’s overall Korean-ness that makes K-pop distinctive. This has been a smart business decision. I’m a product of that smart business decision. Demographically, I’m the opposite of a teen or 20-something Korean fan. I’m a 49-year-old white woman from Florida, and I love K-pop. It has made me love music more than I have since I was a teenager in the 1980s listening to Duran Duran and Bon Jovi, and probably even more than then (though I still love my ‘80s music). It quite simply makes me happy in a current world that has the ability to make a person decidedly unhappy on a daily basis. And I know lots of other fans who fall into similar demographics, both here in the U.S. and in other countries.

Though I have never met the members of Monsta X or any other K-pop group, I nevertheless feel this unusual closeness because their music speaks to me, and their interactions with fans online and during concerts creates a genuine bond unlike anything I’ve witnessed before. And though I’ve never had children of my own, I have on many occasions felt a motherly protectiveness toward these idols who are young enough to be my children. When fans press in on them at airports, when sasaengs cross the line of personal space and personal safety, when netizens post nasty comments or fan the flames of fan wars, and when the companies don’t take care of their idols the way they should, I want to go all mama bear protecting her cubs. I don’t like to see good, kindhearted, hardworking people be mistreated. It’s just wrong. And that’s what has happened to Wonho, the latest victim of a system that states in no uncertain terms that not only must idols be perfect in every way from day one of their trainee days, they must have also been flawless from the time of their birth to the when they entered the company’s doors. This is the height of unrealistic. Not one person on this earth has lived a life without making at least a youthful misstep or two. What is important is if they learn from it and change their behavior. So even if the accusations toward Wonho were true, he has led an exemplary, hardworking, cares-immensely-for-his-fans life since then. Losing his career because of those accusations is overkill. It’s an overreaction. It’s quite simply wrong.

In America, the market you’ve been working so hard to cultivate, we believe in second chances. We believe in innocent until proven guilty. We believe in overcoming difficult beginnings by working hard to find success. And we believe in being trailblazers. This is where you have a truly unique opportunity to make history in a very positive way – both socially and business-wise. If you were to reinstate Wonho to Monsta X, put him back with his brothers, making Monsta X whole again, you would signal to fans that you’ve heard our voices, our cries for justice and change, that our opinions and support for the guys matter. We would be thankful. We would admire the stance and we’d support not only Monsta X but future Starship Entertainment ventures. We would back you with our dollars (and won, euros, francs, pesos, krones, yen, dinars, rupees, etc.), which really is the bottom line for a company. You would also go down in history in a history-making, positive way if you brought Wonho back and let those who would attack your idols know in no uncertain terms that you will protect your idols, that you will prosecute slander and libel to the fullest extent of the law. Make those type of people think twice about not only attacking your idols but all artists. By cancelling Wonho’s contract, seeming to side with the accusers at the expense of an extremely popular entertainer who has worked so hard for you, you are emboldening the type of people who derive a perverse joy from attacking others and trying to bring them down. That’s a dangerous signal to send. If things are going on behind the scenes now that you’re not able to share because of legal reasons, actions that will bring about Wonho’s return and appropriate legal action against his accusers, then thank you. I hope we’re able to see those things come to fruition soon.

I wonder if you might not fully understand how much goodwill you could create for your company if you were to take this action. As you’ve seen from the Monbebes’ efforts over the past 20 days, we are a loyal bunch. The screams of love and support for Wonho and the rest of the guys at the Atlanta concert I attended were deafening. We were dancing so much in the balcony that the balcony was moving. Translate that tremendous love and loyalty into support not only for Wonho and Monsta X but also your company by doing the right thing. That would be the best early Christmas gift Monbebes could receive.

And, finally, to Wonho, Shownu, Joohoney, Minhyuk, Kihyun, Hyungwon and I.M., I know this is a difficult time for you. I hope you’re able to take strength from the Monbebes’ support around the globe. We’re going to keep fighting to see things made right.

Sincerely,

Trish Milburn, proud Monbebe

[chvrrydolan]

the mistery girl - Grayson Dolan. part 1

Summary: Dolan Twins, 22 year old brothers took their carrer to the next step and started to write songs besides just making youtube videos. Their last song went viral which made Grayson open up that was him who wrote this song and the whole fandom went crazy wanting to know who the girl was he was writing about.

Inspiration for this imagine series was a song - broken by lovely the band. Just pretend it was the song that Grayson wrote and it was sung by Cub Sport.

"So guys, the music video that directed went viral! How do you feel?" The interviewer asks twins.

Grayson and Ethan Dolan. Two goofballs from youtube started writing songs and directing music videos. Very drastic change in their carrer I can say.

"We feel amazing. We always knew that we had some connection with music, minus the singing because we suck at that." Ethan said laughing.

Two weeks ago the twins released a song called 'broken' which was sang by Cub Sport. The song got very popular in two weeks.

"I also heard a rumour that you got a chance to write this song? Am I right?" Interviewer asks again.

"Well, actually, it was Grayson who wrote this song. I only directed the music video." Ethan explained while Grayson sat just smiling remembering everything.

"Oh! So, Grayson what was the inspiration for this song?"

"Just a adventure from trip." Grayson said smiling while all those flashbacks hit him.

*2 months ago*

The twins were in Brooklyn for friends birthday party.

Ethan was always the partier but for Grayson it was a torture. He never liked them. He always was 'in his own world', didn't like to socialize as much as Ethan.

"Are we gonna be there for long time?" Grayson asked clearly annoyed while driving to the party.

"Bro, we haven't seen Adam for 2 years, it's his party, leaving early would be dissrespecful." Ethan said feeling kinda guilty that he had to drag Grayson to this party.

"You know that I don't like Adam that much." Gripping the steering wheel Grayson exlaimed rolling his eyes.

After 15 minutes they arrived to the loft that was clearly not his, problably some trust fund baby's.

Entering the loft, everybody's eyes was on the famous set of twins. Girls were already drooling, even some guys.

"Yo, Ethan! Grayson!" Adam shouted greeting the twins, "Glad that you came!"

"Hey, man! Happy birthday!" They both said in sync, bro-hugging him and giving him his present.

"Drinks are at the bar in the kitchen, beer pong in the balcony, girls everywhere, feel free to do anything here!" Adam explained and dissapeared in a second.

Drinks wasn't on Grayson's mind tonight. He just wanted to go home.

Ethan was already drinking and talking to girls. Usual stuff.

Grayson decided to go for a smoke to a balcony. Being 22, well-known and always under peer-presure can get onto your nerves a lot.

Smoking, was something that Grayson promised to never do but life has his reasons.

While searching for the balcony, Grayson bumped into small figure which belonged to a girl and by that his life changed forever.

His hazel eyes met bright blue ones. He scanned the girl standing in front of him. Small, long bleached hair, freckles on her cheeks and nose. She was breath-takin' to Grayson. He didn't even noticed the dark under-eyes of hers, you could easily tell that she hasn't slept for like 2 days. She didn't wore any make-up because she just didn't care.

"Hi, bleached boy" The girl said pointing out Grayson's grown out bleached hair.

"Umm, hi" Grayson said nervously. He was used to girls talking to him but she made him nervous.

"Why you are alone?" Girl asked while scanning him from the head to tea. God damn, she thought. She had never seen someone this attractive before. She also had no idea who he was which made Grayson relieved kinda??

"Searching for the balcony," Grayson answered while taking his cigarettes out and smirked at her, "Wanna join?"

Grayson never invited people to smoke with him. He actually, hated when people watched him do that.

The girl smirked back, "Just by the vibe yoi give me, you seem to be interesting person, so, sure let's talk"

The girl lead Grayson to the 3rd floor which was locked.

"Umm, it's locked?" Grayson said confused.

"No, you dummy, it's my place, I have the key." The girl laughed while unlocking the door and letting Grayson in, "And please don't say anything about this place."

"Why?" Grayson furrowed his eyebrows scanning the place which semmed to be her bedroom but it was like huge.

"People treat me different when they see how and where I live. He bought me this loft, told me to live in it because I can't do shit on my own." The girl said sighing and opening and her balcony door, "I also never got your name, bleached boy."

"Grayson." He said while taking his lighter out of his leather jacket's pocker.

"Y/N." The girl said while sitting down on one of the chairs.

Grayson heart was racing just standing beside her. He nervously brought a cigarette to his lips while lighting it.

Y/N stared at him in awe. She never thought that somebody could look that hot while smoking.

Smoke escaped Grayson's lips while he turned to her and quickly cought her stare.

"So, Grayson, why are you here alone at this party?" Y/N asked while lifting her one eyebrow at him. She was so facinated by him.

"My brother dragged me here. I hate parties." Boy sighed while shaking ashes from the cigarette to the ashtray.

"And why so?"

-

[yoonminfiction]

any good soulmate au ym fics?!?!

It’s been a while since I’ve did a soulmates list, and I LOVE Soulmate fic.  So thank you for this ask.  Before I add some new ones to the list, I  need you to check the list here and here.

Spring Day by Bangtanbananas

Even when he was a pup, Park Jimin never even dreamed that he would find his soulmate. Thoughts like that were better left to his hopelessly romantic best friend and partner in crime, Kim Taehyung. It’s a one in a million chance, but a twist of fate brings a strange wolf into Jimin’s life and it changes things forever. (Rated:M)

Sea Foam Green and Tangerine (and the spaces in between) by LAYmedown (InfernalMCR)  also check it here

Jimin was nineteen when he met his soulmate, and as all his hopes and dreams for the future came crashing down around him, he wished he hadn’t.

Yoongi was twenty-one when he met his soulmate, and despite the fact that he used to pray for this moment, he wasn’t sure if he’d really wanted to.

*Remake of Sea Foam and Tangerine (and the others in between)* (Rated:M)

Heartless Crybaby by CmiMiu

In a world, where after you turn twenty, every time your Soulmate cries you recieve a tiny teardrop tattoo on your body, finding ones Soulmate shouldn’t too hard right?

Wrong!

In Min Yoongi’s case it’s a headache. Because his Soulmate seems to be the world’s biggest Crybaby, turning his arms into a black canvas of tiny teardrops.Park Jimin’s Soulmate, on the other hand, must be the world’s most Heartless being. Because his arms stay clear of any indicator of his other half’s existence.

lucky by yururin

Taehyung’s dares has never done Jimin any good (but maybe this time was an exception).

Your Songs are a Burden by Shadowmonsta

Yoongi is already annoyed at his soulmate and they haven’t even met. Circumstances force him to a BTS concert where he may have just found what he was looking for.

PROMPTAU:

‘Whenever your soulmate sings a song you can’t help but join in and my fucking soulmate is in a goddamn band and I can’t sing for shit.’

Second Chances by myeolchi

Suga had looked at the tattoo on Jimin’s wrist, one that matched his own, and smirked mockingly. “You probably had that made, didn’t you? That was fast. I’m flattered but stalkers aren’t really my type.”

Jimin had been shocked and then so angry; he had not been able to utter a word. All of his mother’s teachings about being polite and kind and charitable flew out of the window.

So, he did the next best thing.

He threw his drink at Suga’s smug, stupid face and muttered a ‘fuck you’ before stomping away, uncaring of the fact that people were staring at him in surprise and mounting anger and that Suga had stared at him with no small amount of shock.

or

a soulmate!au in which yoongi starts off as a jerk, jimin is a spitfire, and taehyung is the best wingman

Once Upon A Dream by yururin  

“Somebody once promised they’d find you, and that they’ll love you more than they already do,” Yoongi murmurs, a smile on his lips when recognition sparks in Jimin’s eyes, “somebody once promised they’d ask you to be theirs when they can finally do so again.”

Jimin doesn’t say anything—just leans into Yoongi’s touch, that same shy smile Yoongi has grown to love still on his face.

“Be mine, Park Jimin?”

(or alternatively: “that yoonmin soulmates AU where you can see a glimpse of your past life on the eve of your 18th birthday and Jimin dreams of a forbidden Joseon era love story with an upperclassman Min Yoongi, popular basketball player in uni, 18384/10 out of his reach”.)

When the stars align by Brave_Woodpecker

After being saved by a little boy when he was still a cub, Yoongi swore to become his protector. What he had not expected was to fall in love with the human he had sworn to protect. He knew it was impossible, yet his senses were screaming that Jimin was his mate. A human and a lupus, how could it be ?  (Rated:M)

butterfly kisses by sttrimia

If Jimin knows anything about his soulmate, it is this:

1) His soulmate likes writing words on himself,2) His soulmate must get into fights sometimes, and3) His soulmate gets laid. Like, a lot.

(Or another soulmate au nobody asked for where every mark that appears on your soulmate’s skin also appears on your own.)

A Certain Shade of Gray by Jiminnie_Jimbles

Soulmate AU where your soulmate decides the color of your hair.

•×××××××××ו

Jimin had been told by his best friend Taehyung that he was pretty sure his soulmate was going to shave his head by the time they meet. See, every week, Jimin decided he would pick a color, just for the fun of it.

But what if one day, his soulmate decided he had had enough and it was time for payback?

•×××××××××ו

Based on Yoongi’s ever changing hair color. Bless his head.

Clumsy Souls by ShortyKai 

Yoongi’s soulmate is, apparently, very clumsy.

When the bruises lead him to the adorable Park Jimin, Yoongi vows to protect the dancer from himself.

Purely for self-preservation, of course.

Or

The soulmate!au where every time your soulmate gets a bruise, so do you.

Black Cat by suddenly_yoongi

“Jimin, they’re your soulmate. They’ll love you regardless. They’re not going to care about your Min Yoongi obsession. I promise.”

(AU in which the last of you turns eighteen and you switch bodies with your soulmate until you find them again)  

you don’t have to say i love you (to say i love you) by pizza_netflix_hp (orphan_account)

Jimin knows he’s going to hate his soulmate from the moment he learns how to read and sees the words go feed yourself to the fucking sharks written on his wrist.

[or]

in which the first words one’s soulmate says to them are tattooed on their wrist, yoongi doesn’t like feelings, and jimin just wants to bang his head into a desk because why is his true love so dumb

Midnight Blue by mintsoda

“flareSUGA: the universe just creates stories

flareSUGA: it creates stories with all our existences and gives everyone of us a lead role that we’re sharing with someone else… we’re just stories and the universe watches a hundred thousand times how we meet, how we fall in love, what we make of it. The perfect love story with a happy ending time and time again”

They’re living in a world where they lose their voice on their 21st birthday if they haven’t met their soulmate yet.

Marks by Redhead33

Be careful.If you hurt yourself someone else sees itIf your draw on yourself someone else sees itIf you write on yourself someone else can see itIf you mark on yourself 

Your soul mate can see it (Rated:M)

This list is long, but I hope you have fun reading it.

[routerground6-blog]

The Matt Kemp/Yasiel Puig/Alex Wood trade won’t be popular among players

On Friday, I was taking a nap. My phone had been making a few noises, so I checked Twitter and MLB Trade Rumors without really waking up. “It” had happened. The Dodgers off-loaded three contracts (Matt Kemp, Yasiel Puig, and Alex Wood), and received a bad one (Homer Bailey) in return. For accepting Bailey’s contract, the Dodgers were to receive prospect shortstop Jeter Downs, as well. I chuckled, and rolled back to bed. This was going to be a very unpopular exchange.

For a stretch in the salary-cap NBA, these sorts of “expiring contract” trades were all the rage. There was one about five years ago where a former NBA All-Star was flipped with a first round draft selection for a second-rounder. The veteran had demonstrably negative market value. Friday’s trade, which I figure I’ll call the “Jeter Downs deal” was a bit along those lines. The reactions on Cubs social media heading into the weekend was less than positive.

However, the Chicago assessment (“Even the Reds are getting better” among many others) isn’t that what I’m looking for. This is a really unpopular trade. This trade either moves the goalposts, or indicates they’d been moved over a year ago. It’s really difficult to argue against that “cost matters” in a sport that doesn’t have a salary cap.

Baseball fans want to get players added to their team that they are familiar with. That they like. They want to keep their favorites around. Those that are less popular, they want to go away. This is understandable, and has been how things work for since most of us have been following. However, things have changed, and this trade advertises the change.

Cost matters, now. Through the last few Collective Bargaining Agreements, owners from the majority have been trying to chisel away at the advantages held by the so-called “big market teams”.

For changes in the CBA, 23 of 30 owners have to agree, as well as 50 percent plus one of the union. Ignoring the union for a moment, the small market cities have a huge advantage. To an extent, this was displayed in the international arena. It was very “wild west” until Theo Epstein arrived with the Cubs. Then, spending limits were inserted. Teams, often from larger markets, violated the limits, and paid a fine. The tourniquet was tightened. Now, the international cap is very firm.

In the draft, teams used to be able to spend whatever they wanted on signing bonuses. Those, as well, have been curtailed. When teams spend “too much” (I don’t like the term, either) on free agency, they lose international space, draft picks, or position in the draft. That, likely, seems a minimal punishment to you. To which I have two principle responses.

One is, this is why the Jeter Downs trade is so unpopular with fans. People, paying massive amounts annually to watch their team (hopefully) win, have been knee-capped by a majority of owners. It’s as if a sentence has been handed down. You can kick and scream, but, in the morning, the Cubs won’t be able to fully use their spending edge on MLB talent.

The second goes to those who have lawyered up. “The penalties. They aren’t that harsh. It’s just a draft pick or international space. They won’t turn things very often.” That isn’t the point, though. When the new CBA is ratified, the 23 will decide it. The five or six dissenters will get a few things added as a binky, but the Royals and Brewers want to be able to sign elite talent in free agency. If the teams at the top don’t “take the whipping,” the next whipping is going to be harder.

It’s entirely possible a team that violates the spending limits could lose a first round draft pick, to be distributed to a team that didn’t go over any limits. I’m not saying that will, or should, happen. However, if $246 million had become $400 million, that could have been the case.

Teams that go over the spending limit and sign a qualifying free agent could lose their entire international spending space. Which wouldn’t change the beer in the bleachers, but the possibility has chilled the free agent market. And it’s apparently a surprise. Even though the creep in that direction has been clear for at least 16 months.

Needless to say, the players in the league loathe this trade. Free agent deals are in the freezer. The low-eight figure deals will still be there for a potential starting pitcher. However, if teams have to make trades like this to add “generational talent”, the union gave away far more than they had imagined in the last pact.

I was researching an entirely different project on Friday morning. I had reason to look at the fourth round of the 2016 MLB Draft. Obviously a recent draft, and on the second day, it would seem odd to find anything “of note” there. Alas, I did. Four of the 30 selected players from that round have debuted in MLB within 30 months. Three were with playoff teams.

Shane Bieber (122nd in the draft) from UCSB started 19 games for the 2018 Indians. While he didn’t appear in the postseason for Cleveland, he figures to be important for the team’s management. At least, until he gets expensive.

In the NL Central, Corbin Burnes (111th overall in that draft class) was a leverage reliever for the Brewers. He pitched in six post-season games. Needless to say, the St. Mary’s College (CA) arm will be pitching often against the Cubs the next few seasons.

I’m not especially familiar with the Braves Bryse Wilson, but he pitched seven innings over three games for the Braves. Pegged from high school (pick 109), he debuted at age 20 in MLB. He could well become a familiar name soon.

Lastly, Joey Lucchesi (Southeast Missouri State and pick 114) started 26 games in 2018 for the Padres. Since you’re curious, the Cubs selected Tom Hatch a bit before those four came off the board, and Tyson Miller after. Both are doing well in the Cubs middle-minors.

Teams are expecting scouts to find MLB talent into the second and third days of the draft. That isn’t me saying it. It’s three post-season squads locating and developing MLB quality assets in rounds thought of by many as throwaway crapshoot selections. Drafting and development are more important than they used to be when pitchers in a pipeline were almost thought of as kindling wood. Players like Jeter Downs (2017 32nd overall pick) are valued by front offices because they are cost-controlled assets.

This is disconcerting to many. For many reasons. Many of these people write articles about baseball, numerous times a week. Suddenly, Jeter Downs is more important than Matt Kemp, it seems. Contracts, when bad, greatly constrict player movement. This isn’t good for MLB writers or fans.

When players who are unknowns become the key articles in trades, the baseball world changes and cringes. “I remember when” ideas are being formed. We want to see players on television we know and like. When the Dodgers trade three major league players for a player they plan to release as soon as the trade is concluded, it could be perceived as a cheapening of the game. When the trade is to make room for someone like Bryce Harper, it seems off-putting.

I feel your pain. Really, I do. At some points, I realized the Cubs added Theo Epstein at the point when adding Epstein would matter less than had it happened before. I’ve been kicking at this nightmare for seven years. At some point, I recalibrated. I’ve adjusted. Are these changes good for the Cubs? No. Are they good for the players? No. Are they good for the strength and equity of the league? Probably.

Money matters now. Prospects being properly developed, matters more now. International spending efficiency matters more now. You don’t have to like it. You can hate it from now until three decades from now. Which is why the Jeter Downs trade is so unpopular. It’s a nod toward front offices being more important, and the games you watch being less essential to the some of the owners than they might have been before.

Source: https://www.bleedcubbieblue.com/2018/12/22/17910152/matt-kemp-yasiel-puig-alex-wood-trade-analysis

[thedaywebuiltthefort-blog]

Breaking up is hard to do

The first few weeks went great – you feel the nervous anticipation of meeting for the first time, you hope that you’re everything they’ve been looking for, the excitement of something new and exciting, desperately trying to ensure everything you say and do is met with approval and interest.

You’re completely on it – you’ve never been so confident, so witty, so engaging.

You’re getting close to that pivotal moment, where you’re ready to take the next step and make this a long term commitment – then, out of nowhere it’s over.

You’re dumbstruck, numb.

You know what’s just happened but somehow it doesn’t feel real and you start to feel all the hopes and dreams, the future that you could have had crumbling in front of you.  It’s not you, it’s them, and you’re just not what they were looking for.

You’ve just lost your job.

If you’ve never been there, you can’t appreciate the gravity of suddenly going from boundless opportunity to the crushing reality of not being able to pay your mortgage – from having your hands firmly on the steering wheel of life to suddenly feeling like you are standing on the edge of a big black hole.

The thing about it is – that even if you are well prepared for the financial, social and lifestyle impact of going from being employed to without warning spending your days lying on the sofa wondering where the last six months of your life went, there is very little that can prepare you for the emotional impact.

The loss of purpose, the loss of identity, the constant questioning – what did I do wrong? Where do I go from here?

It’s not as though you can forget your worries with a night out on the Pinot Grigio telling anyone that will listen that ‘you can do better’ and ‘you never really liked them anyway’. Beyonce can’t get you through this one with a few rousing choruses of ‘Who Run The World?’ and there’s no make over montage to the sound of Gloria Gaynor singing ‘I Will Survive’ that can force someone else to employ you.

So this is the situation I now find myself in (through no fault of my own I might add) – unemployed, betrayed and bitter (at least for now). My time is divided between searching for jobs, asking myself why I didn’t make better decisions in my youth (that college course in popular music really wasn’t the most well thought out choice) and telling my cat, who is now the only living being that can’t escape from my self-pitying cries of anguish – mainly because I’ve barred all routes of escape – about how much potential I used to have.

My family income has reduced by 60% – being the higher earner in the family comes with a whole myriad of emotional pros and cons – I hadn’t recognised the impact that losing that identity would have on my sense of purpose and importance. I.e. I am no longer an important and valid part of our tribal system.  No longer can I claim the roomiest wigwam or the biggest chunk of bison. Instead I am relegated to the role of feeble and incapacitated former hunter gatherer, a patchy old lioness sitting at the back of the pride unable to provide her cubs with tasty bits of zebra. Unemployment has meant a cut back on food so that may explain the constant meat based analogies. I can’t shake the feeling that eventually the rest of the pride will recognise my inability to contribute and move on, leaving me to find a quiet spot in the forest to die in so my carcass can be picked apart by scavengers.

Yes, it really is that melancholy.

Knowing you are unemployed and looking for a new job is entirely different to being in work and looking to move to another company or role.  Just for starters there is the whole issue of being asked WHY you are suddenly unemployed. “Well I was just too accomplished for them” is not a viable answer.

Internally you’re torn between screaming “Because they betrayed me! I loved them and they broke my heart, it wasn’t my fault and I did nothing wrong!” and writing ‘Soiled Goods’ on your forehead in black marker pen.  In reality you go for something that is half way between the truth and a big fat whopping lie i.e. “It was a great experience but they decided to go in a different direction meaning my role was no longer viable.”

They don’t believe it and neither do you.

The burning need to apply for everything and anything takes over your whole body until you reach the point that you’re compulsively sitting awake at 3am scrolling through job sites getting momentarily excited about a 12 hour a week job in a bingo hall in Droitwhich until you realise that you’ve spent the last 5 years working in transport and logistics and you live in Southampton.

Where a lack of experience in your youth can be an obstacle to getting that first rung on the ladder firmly beneath your feet, in contradiction an over abundance of experience can be even more devastating when you suddenly need a new source of income.  If I had a pound for every time someone said to me that I was clearly over qualified or too experienced for a job I’ve applied for I wouldn’t need to be looking for a job.

In blind panic you start thinking over ways to make your own money. You see it all the time, people all over the internet who threw off the shackles of the 9 to 5 and now support themselves by making and selling bespoke dog marquees for canine social events.  This is the point where you start wishing you’d developed a useful skill at some point in your life.

Lying in bed with my husband – who incidentally as a nurturing and supportive partner gets all the benefits of my stress-induced insomnia – I ask him “If I were to do something independently to make money, what do you think I’d be good at?” Following an in depth discussion revolving around a job that mainly involves rotating cupcakes in glass cabinets to ensure they don’t get sun faded (don’t ask where he was going with that one) he suggested writing.

My first reaction was – I can’t make any money out of writing and I’m not going to do it.

He’s actually not the first person to suggest it funnily enough; it’s something that has cropped up numerous times with various people over the course of the last 20 years.

I am fairly sure that it’s a prerequisite to be young, cool and interesting to be a writer, or at least to be a writer who’s writing which actually get read and I definitely tick none of those boxes. Blogging years are like dog years so at 32 I have the equivalent blogging age of Dame Maggie Smith.

However on the basis that blogging seems like a far more viable option than my only other money making idea, here I am.

On a side note, my other idea for making money was to launch my own ‘Rent-A-Douche’ business model (to clarify we’re talking the Americanism  for an obnoxious person not the intimate hygiene apparatus) – an alternative to the expense and bloody finality of ordering a hit on someone you can level down by paying to have a total douche bag inconvenience the party of your choice, for example the lower level of service gets you 30 minutes of standing in front of a long queue at a coffee shop ordering a number of extremely pretentious drinks and asking the barista about the health benefits of each one and what their ethical trading policies are just in front of the person you want inconveniencing.  For the premium service they’ll actually book into the same holiday resort as your chosen victim and spend a full week trying to recommend artisanal pale ales to them at every opportunity. I’m pretty sure there’s a gap in the market for the service and it would provide a cheaper and more moral answer to conflict than hiring an actual hit man.

N.B. Earlier in this post it may have been suggested that Dame Maggie Smith is 224 years old, I’d like to clarify that Dame Maggie’s age has been exaggerated for dramatic effect and I am not actually suggesting she is in fact centenarian. She is however a magnificent example of womanhood and success and in honour of Maggie here’s a bit of advice from her to sign off with – until next time, don’t let the grind get you down.

[hatkarate2-blog]

The Matt Kemp/Yasiel Puig/Alex Wood trade won’t be popular among players

On Friday, I was taking a nap. My phone had been making a few noises, so I checked Twitter and MLB Trade Rumors without really waking up. “It” had happened. The Dodgers off-loaded three contracts (Matt Kemp, Yasiel Puig, and Alex Wood), and received a bad one (Homer Bailey) in return. For accepting Bailey’s contract, the Dodgers were to receive prospect shortstop Jeter Downs, as well. I chuckled, and rolled back to bed. This was going to be a very unpopular exchange.

For a stretch in the salary-cap NBA, these sorts of “expiring contract” trades were all the rage. There was one about five years ago where a former NBA All-Star was flipped with a first round draft selection for a second-rounder. The veteran had demonstrably negative market value. Friday’s trade, which I figure I’ll call the “Jeter Downs deal” was a bit along those lines. The reactions on Cubs social media heading into the weekend was less than positive.

However, the Chicago assessment (“Even the Reds are getting better” among many others) isn’t that what I’m looking for. This is a really unpopular trade. This trade either moves the goalposts, or indicates they’d been moved over a year ago. It’s really difficult to argue against that “cost matters” in a sport that doesn’t have a salary cap.

Baseball fans want to get players added to their team that they are familiar with. That they like. They want to keep their favorites around. Those that are less popular, they want to go away. This is understandable, and has been how things work for since most of us have been following. However, things have changed, and this trade advertises the change.

Cost matters, now. Through the last few Collective Bargaining Agreements, owners from the majority have been trying to chisel away at the advantages held by the so-called “big market teams”.

For changes in the CBA, 23 of 30 owners have to agree, as well as 50 percent plus one of the union. Ignoring the union for a moment, the small market cities have a huge advantage. To an extent, this was displayed in the international arena. It was very “wild west” until Theo Epstein arrived with the Cubs. Then, spending limits were inserted. Teams, often from larger markets, violated the limits, and paid a fine. The tourniquet was tightened. Now, the international cap is very firm.

In the draft, teams used to be able to spend whatever they wanted on signing bonuses. Those, as well, have been curtailed. When teams spend “too much” (I don’t like the term, either) on free agency, they lose international space, draft picks, or position in the draft. That, likely, seems a minimal punishment to you. To which I have two principle responses.

One is, this is why the Jeter Downs trade is so unpopular with fans. People, paying massive amounts annually to watch their team (hopefully) win, have been knee-capped by a majority of owners. It’s as if a sentence has been handed down. You can kick and scream, but, in the morning, the Cubs won’t be able to fully use their spending edge on MLB talent.

The second goes to those who have lawyered up. “The penalties. They aren’t that harsh. It’s just a draft pick or international space. They won’t turn things very often.” That isn’t the point, though. When the new CBA is ratified, the 23 will decide it. The five or six dissenters will get a few things added as a binky, but the Royals and Brewers want to be able to sign elite talent in free agency. If the teams at the top don’t “take the whipping,” the next whipping is going to be harder.

It’s entirely possible a team that violates the spending limits could lose a first round draft pick, to be distributed to a team that didn’t go over any limits. I’m not saying that will, or should, happen. However, if $246 million had become $400 million, that could have been the case.

Teams that go over the spending limit and sign a qualifying free agent could lose their entire international spending space. Which wouldn’t change the beer in the bleachers, but the possibility has chilled the free agent market. And it’s apparently a surprise. Even though the creep in that direction has been clear for at least 16 months.

Needless to say, the players in the league loathe this trade. Free agent deals are in the freezer. The low-eight figure deals will still be there for a potential starting pitcher. However, if teams have to make trades like this to add “generational talent”, the union gave away far more than they had imagined in the last pact.

I was researching an entirely different project on Friday morning. I had reason to look at the fourth round of the 2016 MLB Draft. Obviously a recent draft, and on the second day, it would seem odd to find anything “of note” there. Alas, I did. Four of the 30 selected players from that round have debuted in MLB within 30 months. Three were with playoff teams.

Shane Bieber (122nd in the draft) from UCSB started 19 games for the 2018 Indians. While he didn’t appear in the postseason for Cleveland, he figures to be important for the team’s management. At least, until he gets expensive.

In the NL Central, Corbin Burnes (111th overall in that draft class) was a leverage reliever for the Brewers. He pitched in six post-season games. Needless to say, the St. Mary’s College (CA) arm will be pitching often against the Cubs the next few seasons.

I’m not especially familiar with the Braves Bryse Wilson, but he pitched seven innings over three games for the Braves. Pegged from high school (pick 109), he debuted at age 20 in MLB. He could well become a familiar name soon.

Lastly, Joey Lucchesi (Southeast Missouri State and pick 114) started 26 games in 2018 for the Padres. Since you’re curious, the Cubs selected Tom Hatch a bit before those four came off the board, and Tyson Miller after. Both are doing well in the Cubs middle-minors.

Teams are expecting scouts to find MLB talent into the second and third days of the draft. That isn’t me saying it. It’s three post-season squads locating and developing MLB quality assets in rounds thought of by many as throwaway crapshoot selections. Drafting and development are more important than they used to be when pitchers in a pipeline were almost thought of as kindling wood. Players like Jeter Downs (2017 32nd overall pick) are valued by front offices because they are cost-controlled assets.

This is disconcerting to many. For many reasons. Many of these people write articles about baseball, numerous times a week. Suddenly, Jeter Downs is more important than Matt Kemp, it seems. Contracts, when bad, greatly constrict player movement. This isn’t good for MLB writers or fans.

When players who are unknowns become the key articles in trades, the baseball world changes and cringes. “I remember when” ideas are being formed. We want to see players on television we know and like. When the Dodgers trade three major league players for a player they plan to release as soon as the trade is concluded, it could be perceived as a cheapening of the game. When the trade is to make room for someone like Bryce Harper, it seems off-putting.

I feel your pain. Really, I do. At some points, I realized the Cubs added Theo Epstein at the point when adding Epstein would matter less than had it happened before. I’ve been kicking at this nightmare for seven years. At some point, I recalibrated. I’ve adjusted. Are these changes good for the Cubs? No. Are they good for the players? No. Are they good for the strength and equity of the league? Probably.

Money matters now. Prospects being properly developed, matters more now. International spending efficiency matters more now. You don’t have to like it. You can hate it from now until three decades from now. Which is why the Jeter Downs trade is so unpopular. It’s a nod toward front offices being more important, and the games you watch being less essential to the some of the owners than they might have been before.

Source: https://www.bleedcubbieblue.com/2018/12/22/17910152/matt-kemp-yasiel-puig-alex-wood-trade-analysis

[ecoorganic]

What’s Love Got to Do With It?

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Alice Driver | Longreads | August 2020 | 9 minutes (2,482 words)

“We need to see the name of the person. We need to know who you want to attract,” the vendor told me as he held up a handful of dried hummingbirds, their four bodies dangling from his fingertips by red pieces of string, feathers worn but shimmering emerald in patches as if clinging to life via sheer radiance. He wanted to know the name of a man, but I was thinking of a painting.

Frida Kahlo wears a dead hummingbird around her neck. She painted Self-Portrait with Thorn Necklace and Hummingbird in 1940 just after she divorced Diego Rivera and ended an affair with photographer Nickolas Muray. The dead hummingbird is considered a love charm in Mexico, and it is one that would endure and eventually be exported to other countries.

“There is such a lack of love that everyone wants them, young and old,” the vendor told me, agreeing to let me record his answers only if I didn’t share his name, before recounting the steps I needed to take for the hummingbird charm to work:

Write the name of the person you want to love you on a piece of paper.

Put it in a red cloth bag with the hummingbird.

Bathe the hummingbird in the perfume or scent of the person you want to love you on the first day of each month.

Repeat with a new hummingbird for each person you want to fall in love with you.

It had not crossed my mind that anyone would buy more than one hummingbird. But, as a vendor named Sansón explained, “Men want many lovers.” Both Diego and Frida had many lovers, I thought.

The vendors, excited by my line of questioning, seem to think I will be interested in the idea of trapping many lovers with many hummingbirds. That, in fact, is my idea of hell. It reminds me of past boyfriends, who, upon realizing the scope and frequency of my work travel, voiced fears that I had a boyfriend in every city I worked in. It is all I can do to make one person happy and understand them down to the story of every scar. Even then, it will never be the focus of all my energy.

As the vendor told me this, I was standing in a narrow passageway in the Mercado Sonoroa in Mexico City. There, you can acquire all kinds of animals — legal (cages full of chicks dyed pink, purple, yellow, and green) and illegal (puma cubs). It is one of the more dangerous places I’ve worked as a reporter, because in the areas where black market animals are being bought and sold, taking out a camera or a recorder is going to attract unwanted attention. The last time I worked on a project around the market, I was told that a photographer wandering around without permission got beat up.

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Anyone working in Mexico knows that permission comes in many forms, from the jefe of the plaza or the market or the street corner, usually a man who is hard to find, one who has many helpers lounging around and saying things like, “The jefe doesn’t have a schedule, but I’ll tell him you stopped by.” The only way to really get in and do interviews is to go with someone local, so I contacted my friend Luisa who lives in the La Merced neighborhood near the market, and she contacted a vendor at the market who would accompany us and who knew one of the hummingbird sellers and got permission for us to interview him. I went to the market to do interviews for CBC, Canada’s national public radio station, for a piece they were producing about a National Geographic article on the illegal hummingbird charm trade.

To get to the black market hummingbird charms, I passed through the section of the market dedicated to Our Lady of Holy Death, a skeletal saint fondly known as “the skinny one” (“La Flaquita”). The hummingbird charm vendors were lined up together in tiny stalls so stuffed with items that they hardly had space to move, each with different offerings: hummingbirds on a string for 40 pesos ($2), hummingbirds on a stick for 80 pesos ($4), hummingbirds bathed in honey and perfume for 290 pesos ($14), and mounted and pristinely preserved hummingbirds for 600 pesos ($30). All the vendors were men. Some refused to speak to me or let me take photos, aware of the risk that we both ran in documenting the hummingbird charm trade given that some of the hummingbirds were at risk of extinction. It was hard for me to accept that whether some species of hummingbird would live or die out was dependent on the need for love and the belief that it could be charmed.

As I stuck my head into the first vendor’s stall, I was confronted with a glass jar full of hummingbirds mounted on wire sticks, their wings frozen as if they were flying. Their feathers were the color of ash and only tinged green near where the heart used to beat 1,260 times per minute. Many were missing their needle-like beaks, which fall off when the hummingbirds dry out.

Their feathers were the color of ash and only tinged green near where the heart used to beat 1,260 times per minute.

The vendor, perhaps sensing that I would not tell him the name of someone who I wanted to love me, explained that a hummingbird can also bring peace to a family. I understand that he believed that I, a woman, surely had a family. He explained that if, for example, a mother wanted her family to get along, she could buy a hummingbird and take the following steps:

Sit the hummingbird on top of a red apple.

Place the apple on a plate with honey on a table when all the family is present.

The mother must rub the hummingbird in the scent of each member of the family before placing it back on the apple.

In this manner, he told me, a family could achieve peace. I didn’t tell him that I lacked a family, that at 38 — an age that everyone told me was already almost too late — I didn’t even know if I wanted one.

Women can want children — that is an acceptable ambition. But female ambition has certain parameters, and ambition that doesn’t include or prioritize ideas of taking care of others and mothering leaves us vulnerable to attack, to an evaluation of our selfishness.

“I paint self-portraits because I am so often alone, because I am the person I know best,” Kahlo once said of her body of work, which includes 80 self-portraits out of 153 paintings. In my three years living in an apartment a few blocks from Frida Kahlo’s Blue House in Mexico City, I can’t tell you how many people have told me they are uninterested in Kahlo’s art because they find her self-portraits to be selfish, boring. A woman who is interested in herself, in her interior life, is still dangerous, a threat to our ideas about who and what is valuable and why. Kahlo may be popular, but people like to make the point that she is not liked, not truly respected. When Guy Trebay wrote about Kahlo’s work for the New York Times in 2015 in an article titled “Frida Kahlo Is Having a Moment,” he opened with this line: “She was a genius before she was a refrigerator magnet, an ace manipulator of society and media nearly a century before social media came into existence.” He admits her genius but immediately ties it to manipulation. Would a male artist ever be described in the same terms? I think we can all agree that Kahlo is having more than a moment.

Looking at handfuls of dried hummingbird charms — some of them species facing extinction — and hearing the men make their sales pitches to me, I thought of something my friend Susanna in Mexico City had said: Vivimos maternando a un montón de gente. (“We live our lives mothering everyone.”) She was neither a wife nor a mother but she and I both knew what was expected of us as women — that our instincts would be to care for others and to seek out love, often at the expense of our interior lives.

The last time I visited Kahlo’s Blue House, which is now a museum, the traveling collection of her clothes and personal items was there. Those items, in part due to a request by Diego Rivera, had remained locked away until 2004, and although I had visited the museum many times, I had never seen the collection. Looking at the steel body braces on display and her handmade embroidered boots, one with a heel much higher than the other to compensate for her shorter leg, reminded me of the extent to which she was trapped in her body. Kahlo had survived polio as a child and later, after a bus accident, broken bones, fractures, a crushed foot, and a pierced abdomen and uterus. Kahlo, so often betrayed by her physical self and defined by her infertility, found solace in her mind, in exploring iterations of her intellectual self. She used painting, fashion, and photography to control her own image, which apparently, to some, made her an “ace manipulator” rather than a woman trying to stretch the boundaries of patriarchal visions of womanhood.

Looking at the steel body braces on display and her handmade embroidered boots, one with a heel much higher than the other to compensate for her shorter leg, reminded me of the extent to which she was trapped in her body.

I didn’t tell the vendor what kind of a woman I was, that I didn’t have a dog or a cat, that the only plants I cared for were cactus, and I had killed some of them. I remembered a quote by Anthony Bourdain from a profile by Patrick Radden Keefe in The New Yorker, one that I had written in my notebook and that had stuck with me both because it reminded me of myself and seemed impossible that a woman could get away with saying something like that: “I’m not there. I’m not going to remember your birthday. I’m not going to be there for the important moments in your life. We are not going to reliably hang out, no matter how I feel about you. For fifteen years, more or less, I’ve been travelling two hundred days a year. I make very good friends a week at a time.” Bourdain was beloved for his obsession with work (which made his personal life messy and complicated) in a way that I don’t think a woman can yet achieve because for us, obsession gets defined as selfishness. In the profile, Keefe went on to describe Bourdain, writing, “Long before he was the kind of international celebrity who gets chased by fans through the airport in Singapore, Bourdain knew how to arrange his grasshopper limbs into a good pose, and from the beginning he had a talent for badassery.” Kahlo also knew how to arrange her broken limbs, and yet so far nobody has described that feat as badassery.

I was in a relationship for a decade, six of those years married, and when my husband left, he said, “You only care about your own projects.” And he was right about that — I do care deeply, obsessively about my own projects, about the curiosity that brings them to life, their creation, planning, and execution. For a year or two after the break-up of our marriage, I debated my worth and what kind of a woman I was, wondering if I should — or could — change. But for better or worse, at my core — the cells and ideas and emotions that give my life meaning — are related to my creative projects which make me feel like a fully engaged participant in the world.

In a letter to her mother, who she addressed as Mamacita Linda, Kahlo wrote, “Painting completed my life. I lost three children and a series of other things that would have fulfilled my horrible life. My painting took the place of all this. I think work is the best.” The constant in Frida’s life and her sense of purpose was rooted in her painting. Love in the form of men and women came and went. All the while, Kahlo continued reinventing herself through painting.

I was in a relationship for a decade, six of those years married, and when my husband left, he said, “You only care about your own projects.” And he was right about that — I do care deeply, obsessively about my own projects, about the curiosity that brings them to life, their creation, planning, and execution.

***

I wanted to know where the hummingbirds came from. “They usually bring them from Guerrero, but they are from various parts of the republic,” the vendor said, describing how in the old days, kids would kill them with slingshots for pocket money; kill a hummingbird, buy a coke. I imagined that the international black market hummingbird trade had produced more effective ways of killing hummingbirds, but he didn’t elaborate. He did, however, mention that the week prior a vendor sold a baby panda at the market. I found it hard to believe but tucked that information away for later, for another reporting project.

I asked for specifics about the hummingbirds, but he spoke in generalities: “The hummingbird in essence is for love. No matter the size or color: there are some that have a little green breast and there are others that have a little blue one, but it is all the same.” I didn’t like his saccharine, trite or generalized descriptions of love or the way such language was used to sell things. I didn’t like talking about love or talking about seeking it, because seeking love — which is so often tied up with seeking approval — has always been defined as women’s work.

Researchers don’t know the size of the black market hummingbird charm market. Nobody can measure the lack of love in the world and the things that it drives us to do. We are a bundle of wants and needs and insecurities, and in the search for meaning, if the illegal wildlife trade is any marker, we will consume anything to live longer, to be more virile, to attract what we have been told is love.

As I left, a vendor sat in a stall, a cardboard shoebox full of hummingbirds on his lap, one hummingbird mounted on a wire in each hand. These hummingbirds were larger than the rest, their feathers maintained spots of iridescent glory. I imagined Frida, decades ago, in the same market, looking for the hummingbird that she would paint at a time when her painting and her affairs with women and her broken body were not accepted, at a time when she wrote Diego a letter she never sent that said, “I don’t give a shit what the world thinks. I was born a bitch, I was born a painter, I was born fucked.” I understood her rage and feelings of rebellion, for although the world has made space for more diverse women, we are still expected to fill the role of the one who wants to be loved, who wants to be a mother when perhaps we only ever wanted to paint, wanted to write, wanted to explore the world alone, on our own terms.

***

Alice Driver is a freelance journalist and the author of More or Less Dead. She writes and produces radio for National Geographic, Time, CNN, Reveal from the Center for Investigative Reporting, Las Raras Podcast and Oxford American.

***

Fact checker: Julie Schwietert Collazo

Editor: Krista Stevens

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