#so I swiped a bunch of elements from that lol

[yo-yo-yoshiko]

Always tinkering with the Ghost redesign... wondering if I should keep him in a hood. Thinking about Racer's too... not sure what I should put on the back.

[sysig]

Nokemon is pretty neat (Patreon)

[eyez-ff-blog]

○○ eyez | six

The show in Oregon seemed to go almost perfectly—everyone had been in their element, and Jermaine was right back into his zone. The first day of tour was always a time that he seemed to be at his most nerved; usually the time before the show was quiet and brooding...thoughtful on his part. He wanted to make the world proud, and even though everyone around him believed in his abilities, he knew that the world was fickle. In one minute people are Team Jermaine, and in the next they’d throw him away. He wanted to give his all every performance, so it made him nervous to present new material.

It was one of the main reasons he spent the previous night with Beija. Ib had knocked out the moment they reached Oregon, and knowing that Cody, Dame, and Bas needed their rest, he had no one else to ‘bother.’ But he learned some new things about the woman he found himself intrigued by. She was as smart as she was smart mouthed and it delighted his intellect. She was passionate about music and her career, and for some reason it was something that he fully admired. He had a lot of respect for her, and it only seemed to strengthen after she helped him relax before the show.

Even as he was in his dressing room, he remembered her words. Inhale love and energy, exhale doubt and negativity. It seemed that all of the things that made him nervous seemed to melt from his being and he conquered the stage when it came time to. He definitely felt indebted to her for her guidance. It also seemed like she was kind of letting a guard down and he felt good about being allowed a glimpse of her personality.

But now, they were on the way to Boise, and despite the short ride, he was still working. He had a studio in the back of his bus and to busy himself, he was writing while listening to some music. He chewed on his bottom lip as he ran his fingers down his stomach, feeling the slight tremble as he heard it growl. He needed to eat something.

Standing up from the couch, he walked through the tour bus—Bas and Cody were towards the front of the bus, talking as they played music on Cody’s laptop. Opening the fridge, he grabbed a bottle of water before he walked to the pantry, grabbing a bag of chips. “I would’ve thought y’all was sleep,” He commented.

“Waiting until we get to the room—you know I can’t sleep on no bumpy ass bus,” Bas commented, before the sound of a loud snore filled the space.

The men went silent before hearing an irritated groan from Dame; he was trying to sleep on the top cot. On the bottom was Ibrahim, completely knocked out. The remaining men began to laugh as Jermaine returned to the studio in the back, patting Dame’s arm along the way.

He sat back on the couch before he sat back, putting his headphones back on before he played the beat he was sent. The ‘Swing My Way’ sample was pulling Jermaine in, but he couldn’t seem to find a proper muse to write. He grabbed his phone before he found that he missed a text.

“Hey, how was the show?” From Melissa.

He decided to call her instead of texting, and he pressed the phone to his ear as he paused the music in his ear, waiting for her to pick up. He was greeted with a small yawn first. “Hey baby,” Mel mumbled sleepily, and he smiled slightly.

“Sleepy head,” He teased. “Sorry for wakin’ you. I just wanted to hear your voice,” He said.

“It’s okay—I know you probably restless,” He heard some shuffling in the background; he assumed she was in bed. “How was the show? Were you nervous?” She asked.

“Shit was too dope, babe. Everybody was fucking with the vibe so I feel good about everything now,” He explained. “And honestly, I was. But then I just got in the right mind,” He didn’t want to say Beija helped out, and he wasn’t sure why. He felt like their friendship was innocent, but he just had a feeling that Melissa wasn’t really feeling Beija for whatever reason.

“That’s good! I keep telling you not to be nervous—you’re the best rapper I know. You don’t need to feel anything but adrenaline on the stage,” Mel encouraged, and J smiled softly.

“Thank you, baby. How’s everything in New York?” He asked.

“The usual. Work is as busy as ever, but I’m doing my best,” She said. “I miss you, though. It’s always weird when you’re home for so long then go out on tour,” The tone of her voice brought some guilt within Jermaine. He knew she probably wished that they were more of a ‘normal’ couple, but he did his best to keep things as normal as possible considering the circumstances.

“I miss you too. I’ll be home in April before I gotta start the second leg,” He explained. “I’m thinkin’ of you, though. You know that, yeah?” This was his way of assuring Mel that everything was as it should have been at the moment.

“Yeah, I know,” She said softly before yawning. “Now, I’d love to stay up all night to talk to you, but a girlie’s got work in the morning.”

“Go’n to bed. I love you,” J concluded.

“Love you more. Be safe out there,” The call soon ended, and J leaned back against the couch as he yawned slightly, rubbing under his eyes before closing his eyes briefly. He opened his eyes when his phone vibrated within his grasp, and he looked down to see the text notification: “You sleep?” From Beija.

He unlocked his phone before he began to reply. “Nah. Why ain’t you?”

“Skype,” She replied, and he raised an eyebrow slowly.

“With who?” J’s thumb swiftly keyed the response before sending off the message, placing one of his earbuds back into his ear, turning the beat he was given back on. He twisted his mouth to the side before he stretched his left arm and lazily draped it over his head.

“Don’t worry about that,” Was the response, and J sucked his teeth softly before he shook his head. He had noticed that Beija was on the phone a lot during rehearsals and sound check, and he was curious now. He wondered if maybe this was the same mystery person she was on Skype with.

“They must not be that interesting if you texting me,” The text was sent off without much thought, and J found himself chuckling to himself as a couple ideas came to mind. He jotted down some notes in his notebook as he listened to the instrumental.

“Aww, you jealous already lol. I can’t multitask?” Jermaine scoffed softly, unlocking his phone and going into the text thread as Beija continued to taunt: “Or you wanna be my only friend? AWWW!” A bunch of crying emojis followed. This woman was something else.

“All these emojis. Are you twelve? Chill ma,” He laughed as he sent off the text, shaking his head slowly as he lifted his right leg, resting his foot against the top of his left thigh.

“I’m chill, gramps. Don’t be such a grouch. I won’t tell anyone you’re jealous,” He could almost hear the teasing tone of Beija’s sweet voice, and he found himself smiling a little too hard as he reopened the text thread. Before he could respond though, the phone began to ring. Beija’s number and name came across the screen and he immediately swiped for the ‘talk’ feature. “Hi crybaby,” She greeted.

“You open the conversation insulting a nigga. The disrespect,” He chuckled lowly. “What you doing?” He asked.

“Just got off Skype with my friend. Everybody on the bus is sleep so I’m tryna be a little quieter,” Beija explained.

“You had to get off Skype just to talk to me. I’m touched,” He playfully boasted, hearing a soft chuckle come over the other line.

“I think it’s cute how you think that. I wanted to hear your voice because I haven’t spoken to you all day, but you finna get hung up on,” She threatened.

“One—you not finna hang up. Two—you could have been talking to me if you weren’t on that phone all day. Gigglin’ and all type of sap shit; who your man, huh?” He chuckled.

“Oh my God—I didn’t know you were my daddy,” She scoffed.

“I ain’t. I just know you stay ducking me. And tell me I’m wrong by saying you was cakin’ with a nigga,” He challenged.

“What did I tell you before? Nobody ducking you. And if I was? What are you gonna do about it?” She countered, and he shook his head slowly.

“Not a thing. I just wanted to know, and you told me. So I still got what I wanted—jokes on you,” He laughed.

“I’ll let you feel like you gained something out of all this, Lamarr. Good job,” She sarcastically praised. “But anyway, I wanted to congratulate you on your show. You did that shit.”

“Thank you, thank you. Energy was on 10 tonight,” He smiled. “I gotta thank you, though. You really helped me relax before the show, you know?”

“Oh, you mean because of the breathing exercise? Boy, you should be doing that all the time!” Her half-scold almost made him laugh. “You’d be surprised how much shit changes when you put your mind into a certain mode. I know you know that,” She added.

“I mean, sometimes I need a reminder—sometime this mind can only think so many things at once, babygirl,” He explained.

“I understand, surprisingly. But just remember that and you’ll be straight to go. I don’t wanna see you doubting yourself ever again, okay?” She instructed.

“Okay,” J found himself smiling, an unrecognizable warmth washing over his body. He found it kind of interesting that she seemed to worry.

“Promise me, Jermaine,” Her voice grew soft, and he bit into his bottom lip, nodding as if she could see.

“I promise,” He mumbled as he felt the bus begin to slow down. “Ah, shit. I think we’re here. I’ll talk to you in the morning if I don’t see you no more tonight.”

“Gotcha. Goodnight J,” Beija ended.

“Goodnight Imani,” He chuckled softly when she sucked her teeth, ending the phone call soon after. He got up from the couch, collecting his things before he began to prepare to get checked into the hotel they’d be staying in.

After checking into the hotel with everyone else, Jermaine bid everyone a good evening and headed up to his room. Once he entered the room, he attended to a shower first before changing into his night clothes and getting into bed. He turned on the television and watched the news, biting at his bottom lip as he watched the different stories that seemed to be going on in not only the Boise area but around the world. He fell asleep to it, not waking up until some hours later when his slumber was interrupted by the knock on the door.

He sat up slowly before he rubbed the side of his face, furrowing his eyebrows before he slowly got out of the bed. Due to his groggy disposition, he nearly fell twice while he tried to find his sweatpants in the dark. “Fuck. Shit,” He cursed in the darkness before he finally switched on the lamp by his bed, adjusting the sweatpants over his boxers. He walked towards the door and he shook his head. “Who is it?” He asked.

“Beija,” He raised his eyebrows slightly before he unlocked the door, opening it to see the woman before him. The unruly mane she usually donned was kept hostage under her satin bonnet, and she was dressed comfortably in a t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts. She had on a pair of socks and a pair of Nike slides, but the usual glow on her face was devoid and replaced with reddened eyes and what seemed like tear tracks.

“What’s wrong?” J’s voice held some concern, and she sniffed as she shook her head.

“Can I come in?” She asked, and he raised an eyebrow before he opened the door wider to allow her inside. Closing and locking the door behind him, he turned to see her traversing deeper into his hotel room.

He eventually followed her before he took a glance at the LED display of the clock on the bedside table—it was a little after three in the morning. He heard her sniff and he sat down on the end of the bed next to her as she wiped under her eyes. “B...you know I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me,” He said, and she shook her head slowly.

“I don’t need—...just—let me sit here for a while,” She mumbled, and he tilted his head as he watched her try to collect herself. He wasn’t sure what had happened or why she was so upset, but it kind of hurt him for some reason. He wasn’t used to seeing her like this, and the fact that he hated to see women upset didn’t help matters on his end. “I just...had this weird ass dream. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come here so late—I know you need your rest and I wasn’t even thinking,” She apologized.

“Nah, nah. Calm down,” He wrapped an arm around her before pulling her into him. He could feel her trembling; all he could do was soothingly run his hand up and down her back, trying to calm her nerves. “You wanna talk about it really quick or what?”

“No. Can we just...I just wanna watch some TV,” She mumbled, and he shrugged as he got up and began to get back into bed. He grabbed the remote and turned it on.

“Come on,” He said before he watched her climb up into bed next to him. Declining the offer to get under the covers, she decided to lay on top of the sheets as she laid against the other pillow. The two quietly watched the infomercial that played on the television. “I always wanted one of those blenders,” He commented quietly.

“You really are an old man,” Beija tiredly remarked, a deep chuckle resonating from J’s lips before they grew silent again.

About ten minutes later, J looked over to see that Beija had fallen back to sleep. He looked over her as she clutched onto the pillow tightly, her face seemingly peaceful as she slept. He stared at her for a moment before he reached for the remote, turning off the television before he shut off the light, and sank into the sheets. After some moments, he succumbed to his own slumber.