#so I read bits and pieces of your threads in the discovery world just to get a grasp on more of the backstory

[palmtreesx3]

As my header states, I'm too old for this. But here I am anyway. If you're here you're gonna watch me embarrassingly lust over every version of Steve Harrington (who am I kidding, just Joe Keery in general) and while I mostly just react to other people's tremendously talented work, I occasionally dabble myself.

So if you are lurking, enjoy and leave some kisses 💋

(18+, don't be cunty, yada yada yada)

🔥 Spicy/Smutty 🚨 Cannon/Cannon Adjacent ❤️ Fluffy/Boyfriend-ism 😩 Angsty

Get Off (Series) 🔥18+ - SexShop!Steve x Reader : SexShop!Robin x OC (7/9)

Summary: Steve and Robin have about had it with Hawkins, so on Robin's 25th birthday, the pair decides that there's nothing holding them there anymore and they start packing their bags. The friends move to Chicago and quickly find an apartment to call their own. As luck would have it, within hours of arriving to the city, Robin stumbles on a no-strings-attached job offer for both of them - what could be better?! Now just to break the news to Steve…. This multi part story will both explore their platonic relationship and their chaotic experience working at the sex shop together as well as their own paths of self discovery as they plant their roots in their new city and finally deal with the invisible baggage they drug along with them when they moved. Act 4 - Out Now :)

Prologue || V-Card || Act 1 || Act 2 || Act 3 || Act 4 || Act 5 || Act 6 || Epilogue

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King of Wishful Thinking (Series) ❤️ Fluffy but eventually 🔥 18+ and marked as such because I'm a hoe - Steve Harrington x Reader (2/?)

Summary: Steve has been in love with you for his entire life. He has always wanted to express his feelings and do nice things for you, but every time he tries to come up with new and creative ways to show you how much he cares, but it seems like fate is always against him. Even though he shallowly convinces himself that you’re just meant to be friends and despite these setbacks, Steve remains determined to keep trying. He still holds onto the hope that someday he'll be able to express his feelings to you and maybe, just maybe have them reciprocated. Paused but not forgotten

1974 || 1978 || 1980 (coming soon)

Joe Keery Photo Drop Support Group A place to gather when he sends us into a tizzy. This support group was started in response to the Behind the Blinds Photo Drops but can and will be revisited anytime this man rocks our world like that again....All are welcome. Judgement Free-zone. Cake ALWAYS served.

Birthday Cake Train 🍰 A communal space to celebrate birthdays and serve up a slice of Cake....you know which kind. Join the thread when it's your turn. There's enough to go around.

Seeing Stars 🔥18+ The crew finally decides it's time to start celebrating the 4th of July again, but Steve Harrington finds he can't stop himself from staring.

A Girl Like You (PT 2 to Seeing Stars) 🔥18+ In the aftermath of the 4th, embarrassment and emotions are flying, tables turn and shit gets figured out. Read Part 1 to see how exactly we got here.

Deeper for You 🔥18+ It's your annual beach trip with the crew from Hawkins, something you've all been doing together your whole adult life after life forced everyone to part ways. You're all close, but this year, an accidental encounter in the outdoor shower makes you get a little closer with one person in particular.

Jealous Friend One Shot 🔥18+ ask Watching your friend, Steve Harrington, go on Kamakazi Mission dates over and over again was getting kind of old. You’re always there to listen, comfort and pick up the pieces but what if this time it’s just too much? What if this time you’ve had enough and something that feels a little bit like jealousy rears its ugly head?

Firefighter!Steve One Shot

Taking Care of Steve (Road Head) Blurb 🔥18+ ask

Vampy Steve Blurb ask

Fool in Love Blurb (King of Wishful Thinking inspo) ❤️

Stevie Takes Care of You When You're Sick Blurb ❤️ ask

Joe Keery as Steve Harrington Micro expressions

Steve Harrington Smells Like head cannons

Cozy Cardigan Steve (Joe Keery Dork Mag inspo) ❤️

Ok maybe I'm being overdramatic, but please also consider reading these fics or series I feel like I'd lay down my life for because they have become a visceral part of me and changed the fabric of my being and I think about them all the time. They are all *chefs kiss* and written by amazingly talented people who also have deep Masterlists that also deliver. So wake the fuck up and read em! Again, most (okay fine, all) are 🔥 18+ ...again, because I'm a hoe

Into Open Flames 🔥😩🚨 on AO3

Midnight City 🔥 by @superblysubpar

We'll Call it Love 🔥😩 by @superblysubpar

If Tomorrow Never Comes 🔥😩🚨 by @sweetsweetjellybean

All I Really Want is You ❤️🔥 by @loveshotzz

Whatta Man (Steve's Night) 🔥 by @loveshotzz

New Years Eve (Steve & Eddie)🔥😩 by @loveshotzz

Beyond 🔥 by @abibliophobiaa

We Tried the World 🔥😩 @upsidedownwithsteve

And I Snuck in Through the Garden Gate ❤️🔥 @upsidedownwithsteve

Don't Call Me Baby 🔥😩 by @katyswrites

Aftermath (Steve & Eddie)🔥😩🚨 by @sweetsweetjellybean

Daisy 🔥 by @thyme-in-a-bubble

PSA: Don't steal my shit. Don't repost my shit. Don't steal other peoples shit. Don't use AI. Don't feed my shit into AI. Don't feed other people's shit into AI. Just come here, read about this sweet piece of a man and live on our fantasy island together in lust and in peace.

[ms-scarletwings]

A Messy, Sedulous Necropsy of Zib Membrane

That’s what we call him right? Not Invader Zib? Hell if I know, we’ll let the tags decide.

Whatever he is christened by his author, enemies, or fans, this titular villain of the Zimvoid is such a mind blaster to me. I wish we had more time with him within the comics. I wish he had been a concept explored in the show. I wish he had a movie. I am having fun with a little hyperbole here, but I truly do find him just as interesting and potentially pivotal of an antagonist as Tak was, if not even more.

Both, of course, were so badly underutilized for sake of the series status quo. To that, Zib was a much bigger threat than Tak, and especially to that of the comics’ own. He potentially changes everything, and somehow absolutely nothing by the end. The TV show always had a more overt tone of cruelty and the macabre floating about its themes. These print issues? I don’t dislike them. It’s still recognizably invader Zim, and the more the merrier, content-wise, but longtime fans can feel that there was this change of essence in the transition. More obviously, in the art, but more subtly, there was an audible softening of that bluntly darker, cynical tone the show was made iconic for. To put it very generally, they lean a little more into the whackiness of this world, there’s a lot more dark comedy to be found in what I’ve seen so far rather than in your face darkness, and in the absence of the ost and voice acting the show accustomed us to, the comics leave a lot more room to be read as you wile. To me, they’re goofier and more episodic in spirit.

This all is not a critique or rating on the comics.. It’s purely, I feel, why Zib stuck out to me all the more jarringly in his context. His reveal was a genuine twist that brought forth stakes higher than arguably any other threat in the entire franchise. He represents a plausible while horrifying prophecy of our main characters if only they made worse decisions. The most interesting of all, for every piece of amazing information he fed to us, he bred dozens more questions about everything than he answered, from Irken machinations, to his ambivalent backstory, to the secrets hidden by the sum of his parts.

Though he was left evidently alive at the end of his story, I don’t see any chance for him making a return, so he is memorialized as another defeated one-off the writers have brisked past and left behind for good. Therefore, I’m here today to take what we got and present it on the metaphorical autopsy table. I want to really pull apart why this character alone pulled me back into the TV series, really just flay open the bits I can’t get out of my own head and dig harder until we find something or we run out of threads to tug at. Starting with the one already hanging out of my mouth, but

• B.E.F

“Bad End Friend” is a term I learned the meaning of within the last 12 hours or so of writing this, and I’m exuberant over that discovery. It’s a niche trope i didn’t know ive been a giant fan of since I was a child. Summed up, fictional characters from beloved media, typically, animated child protagonists… given the worst case scenario treatment. Their “bad ending”, whether that means a corruption arc, demonic possession, a lovecraftIan tragedy… usually something that’s anywhere along the lines of a fate worse than death to a full villainous turnover. As a treat. The concept is strongly associated with fanworks and AUs of popular media, but just as often this is something that becomes explored in the source material as well. A couple great examples I know would probably be Ice Prince Finn from Adventure Time or what happens in Undertale when you decide you want to run the most depraved playthrough possible. From a more mature story, “Evil” Morty is another validly arguable sample.

Besides a bit of a fondness I got going for certain dark or spooky themes in general, what I REALLY love about canonical BEFs the most is their utility as characterization tools. They’re the “having your cake and eating it too” option! The perfect way for an author to explore certain things about any character without actually committing to well… a bad ending.

Almost always, they are necessarily hypothetical or reversible. If they’re not reversible, they go often hand-in-hand with a little universe tampering to make happen. Sometimes, this means the story goes the way of time travel and branching off butterfly effects. Sometimes it means confirming multiverse theory, which can be the same thing depending on your semantical position.

And Zib crossed off the BEF qualifications by far and away. His implications are extremely dark given any pause think about them, and he’s a living, disturbing tragedy in aftermath. If you want to view a rigamarole about that aspect of his characterization as he appeared in the comics, someone else long beat me to that and I’m enthusiastically recommending a peek at their own work. I’m thrilled to do so and build a little upon that with those extended what-if-wonders.

• Lessons From a Lost Episode

Elephant in the room I haven’t seen someone ask yet, uh..

By show rules, isn’t Zib supposed to be a clear case of the writers committing the sin of retcon? By show I’m including the unaired scripts, including “10 Minutes to Doom”. In that one we had what looked like the potential setup for a Zib case, and it was deconstructed across the whole episode.

In short recap, Dib learned the hard and reckless way about the true nature of what Irken PAKs actually are. This is not an inventory bag, it is not “gear”. It’s the actual Irken entity- at least, the primary component.

Detaching it from the organic shell essentially caused a temporary split into two instances of Zim, desperately trying to connect back together under threat of obliteration.

Like let me be very clear about this,

The PAK is an autonomous instance of Zim’s consciousness, and it’s the main one. We’ve seen it act to save his life when his body has been out cold or flatlined, and he doesn’t appear the least bit disoriented or confused once “he” wakes and jumps back into the action. There’s no known separate computer assistant AI or security autopilot in there. That code, that program, IS Zim. As Long as the PAK is active, he is capable of staying fully conscious and able to react to what’s happening around him, and that’s what we’ve been seeing, his own actions.

Zim proved me right when Virooz tried to replace him and detached the PAK. Take note of his phrasing after the chair event™.

“I” activated the protocol. Immediately after Virooz ran off with my shell.

“I” Voluntarily chose to do so.

I don’t remember it playing out like that in “10 Minutes to Doom”.

Attaching to a new host wasn’t the first reflex. Dib was not the least bit aware that that he has literally holding the actual Zim captive in sense, and the latter was fighting like a cornered animal to escape him. Failing that, alongside the distance between him and his original body growing fast, he made a last desperate gambit, and he willingly connected himself into Dib’s body.

I can see why he thought this was better than nothing, no matter how repulsive the notion might have been. If he couldn’t fend Dib off physically, he could incapacitate him in some fashion by trying to overtake his will. Maybe give the shell a better chance to catch up, maybe in the longshot hope of being able to pilot dib in order to become whole with the correct host again. And you can say he succeeded, at least in dominating bodily control away from Dib, but at the cost of his already tenuously held sanity. This could be because of the interference of Dib’s own mind still resisting to fully submit, or malfunctions because of the biological incompatibility; however, the thing that Dib mentally becomes is only the basic idea of what “Zim” is. Instead of remembering it needs to reunite with its shell ASAP, the PAK mistakes Dib’s body for its own and goes through the manic motions of following the Invader mission. And it does this, weirdly enough, with almost no regard for blowing its cover.

When things are set right again, Zim’s later words near the episode ending revealed that he knew that was an unsustainable state.

Such a risk was not just accounted for, he was actually banking on it if that clock had hit zero. If Zim had truly lost, if he was really doomed to meet his end on this nasty rock in the middle of Nowhere, Space, then by every damned circuit in his being, he was going to take down this insolent fool boy and as many other humans possible with him. A dying act of vengeful rage.

• The Exceptional… Exception

Now, wouldn’t all of this be the definitive reason for Zib’s existence to be an aberrant impossibility? Yes, but actually no. Fun thing about multiverses is if something doesn’t work in one setting, you can just tweak a few dials and suddenly you have a world where the impossible becomes possible. But that’s a pretty cheap answer, isn’t it? So, what exactly was that crucial difference?

What happened in Zib’s timeline that went down so, so divergently from the events of 10 Minutes to Doom?

Because the only one who was in any position to explain it for us was Zib himself, and he’s proven to be one of the most unreliable of narrators. It’s as @dana-chan-the-control-brain already spared no effort to demonstrate, when he does tell us something about his past, his story is pocked with contradicting half-truths or outright lies. Ergo it helps to break down each recount of events to pick out the real facts.

Version 1: This is an alternate version of dib who defeated his complementing Zim (logically sensible) and went on to achieve all of the success and respect he sought after in his timeline (absolute bullshit). He kind of gestures and only implies about what has happened to his body while explaining that he came to his current understanding of Irken technology by studying it through Zim’s lab (a partial truth). He lets slip in passing that he has in fact fused with the PAK in order to learn how to alter and reprogram its coding, lessons he has applied to Number 2 in order to have a brainwashed pawn (also apparently true).

Version 2, when cornered and red handed: This is an alternate version of Dib who managed to specifically stop Zim's mission (Again, makes sense) but somehow could not convince the world of his findings or his warnings about the Irken Armada (*VERY eyebrow raising). Frustrated with the people’s lack of cooperation, he decides he has no choice but to physically merge with Zim’s PAK post-mortem (concerning and evidently mostly accurate), dominate the Earth himself, and enslave humans to help him in his efforts (highly troubling and probably true). The construction of his EMP super-weapon is successful, but ultimately led to the creation of the Zimvoid when the device was field tested (self evident, absolutely horrifying).

You know what I noticed was missing from both of these accounts? Exactly how his Zim was defeated. Which honestly could have been some beyond useful wisdom to pass along to the main Dib??? More than anything else? I’m not going to fault our boy for not pressing that matter better under the awing circumstance; however, there’s an implication I’ve been reading between lines. 

When Zib mentions “defeating” his own Zim, he’s talking about something different than ours.

When our Dib has always talked about “defeating” Zim, he’s meant incapacitation and capture. Throughout the show he explicitly wants to present Zim before an audience alive and whole. Yeah, he fantasizes about other people torturing or disassembling him for study, but HIS role was supposed to be reaping the fame for an undeniable, ground-breaking discovery. Conspiracies and cryptids are all this kid breathes and lives by! And as long as pop culture has always been fascinated with the paranormal, and he has to know this full well, people keep bringing forward hoax after hoax after scam. I mean there’s a freaking current one or few still going IRL about this exact topic. Dib would want no room left for being dismissed as another one of those con artists. 

Nonetheless, I actually doubt this is the reason Zib couldn’t get through to the scientific community. A genuine alien lifeform, even a dead one, could still be confirmed by any basic medical examination. The world thinks Dib is too crazy to listen to, but his father is still Professor Membrane. In "10 Minutes to Doom" OUR Dib got as close as having Membrane literally analyzing a PAK, or at worst, preparing to. “Ultimate Dib” gets his hands on the same thing and pulls a move I’d expect from an HP Lovecraft Protagonist instead.

We’re assuming way too much to what these two Dibs have in common, because this ^^^ is really what made the Zimvoid an outlier in the multiverse. That world didn’t only have a very different, more threatening Zim from the main timeline, it had the Dib who proved even more formidable, cunning, and ruthless, even before the fusion. 

He didn’t obtain that PAK ala the “10 minutes to Doom” accident, it’s a personal trophy. This is extra strange remembering that capturing an Irken is realistically more easy than killing one. They’re seriously more tenacious than kudzu and will even fight back in PAK form alone. I’m convinced that whatever sort of final showdown made the Ultimate Dib the victor, there are two optional endings on the table.

Option 1: There was not a body even left intact enough to bring in to research. Maybe Dib’s fault, maybe an accident, maybe even Zim’s own luck running out and his incompetent antics finally swallowed him (and possibly GIR). This theory assumes that the PAK was the only sort of remains to come into Dib’s recovery/possession.

Option 2: Curiosity Killed the cat,

but satisfaction brought it back.

Or, the one I personally headcanon. Dib… all Dibs, I assume, don’t just hate the Irken species. They are mesmerized by them, and all that they represent from his perspective. Firstly, the epic villain he gets to roleplay nemesis to in order to feel his own worth and importance. Secondly, an unknown wonder from beyond the boundaries of the cosmos. He’s not really a ghost buster or a Men In Black agent at heart, but a scientist, like his father. Underneath his contempt for Zim’s plans to destroy the world is a genuine and appropriately childish awe for alien presence, especially for Zim’s technology. His silent, dopey smile when Tak’s ship ended up in his backyard said more than words ever will.. 

Earlier in the show, a great deal of Dib’s time and effort was spent on trying to infiltrate the lower levels of Zim’s base. Sneaking into the house was hard enough, but the computer security can’t be bypassed like the gnomes. Not even by Zim himself unless he really is all himself. Perhaps you’re starting to sniff where I’m going with this one when I refer back to “Bolognius Maximus”. I’ve another reference that’s a little more on the nose, and a lot more… dark.

Were an expired Irken husk before you, you too might take your victory and cash in then. Still, who knows what sudden impulse may run through the head of a less humble version of yourself, one some could call greedier, obsessive to a fault, a screw or two loose, yet, a hell of a smart cookie. Smart enough to see it for what it actually was, the keys to a whole world of discovery that went so many layers deeper than they could ever imagine. It’s possible the Ultimate Dib already learned beforehand the same hard lessons about the PAKs that our own did, and took that understanding toward not repeating the same mistake this time. What happened to Zim? I think he was murdered in cold blood, body, and entity. “10 Minutes to Doom” showed us a fight between 2 brains clinging to one body, struggling until one overpowered another, but that’s not what this is. Through whatever means of science were available to him, this Dib has probably tried to “disarm” the technology by either erasing Zim’s consciousness out of it altogether, or by forcing the autonomous code into a kind of dormancy. His intentions were to render it back to its basic hardware without losing its precious knowledge and usefulness, something like the brain-filled tank that was wired into Skrang’s head. Zim’s PAK doesn’t cling onto his body like a parasitic teratoma this time; it’s merged in a literal sense with his nervous and circulatory system. As well, he has fooled the device’s ability to detect and reject a foreign host shell, the exact same way he deceived the the base’s security AI. If an Irken biology is what these measures authorize to command them and their secrets, then he had the tools on hand to give them just that- in an atrocity I like to call

the darker harvest.

Within this theory, there is not as much room to wonder exactly what became of Zim’s organic remains. 

But where Dib fucked up was, for the second time, in his ignorance to the true nature of what he was even playing with. That was a mistake that even the mighty Elder Brains of Judgementia lost themselves to; How much more vulnerable was the weak, human mind? Though Zim can be devoured, he can never be digested. In that fact was born this aberration against nature, sanity, and humanity alike.

"Have you ever heard of insect politics? Neither have I. Insects… don't have politics. They're very… brutal. No compassion, no compromise. We can't trust the insect. I'd like to become the first… insect politician. Y'see, I'd like to, but… I'm afraid, uh… I'm saying… I'm saying I - I'm an insect who dreamt he was a man and loved it. But now the dream is over… and the insect is awake." - Seth Brundle, The Fly, 1986

By fusing what is half-mad and what is utterly mad, neither being was cured, only assimilated into the birth of a new madness. The madness of the creature that snickers behind the curtain in the Zimvoid. I rightfully fear that lonesome thing, but not I think as much as I pity him.

• Dejavu, or Re:Plagarism

One more thing about the Zimvoid arc I find curious is the way it makes you question more and more just how much of the aberration is actually still Dib, and how much of it is Zim's infection haunting him. He does nothing with all of his intellect, his resources, and his time in the void doing anything but surrounding himself in everything he claims he despises. He decries alien tyranny in one breath while lording over a homemade, cruel dictatorship in another. He calls for eradication of the very race who's technology and physiology he has thoroughly appropriated. He laments feeling unable to protect the Earth from the Armada alone, yet sneers literally through Irken teeth to insult humans as inferior and of no value to him any longer. Our Dib spent the whole damn show longing for the support of other people, but Zib pushes away potential allies in his arrogance. His broken timeline never became a Dibvoid instead because while only half of his mind can't stand Irkens, both of the souls inside him remember that they loathe and look down upon a Dib, deep inside.

The corruption goes as far as even subverting his own creativity. None of Zib's plans are wholly original. His anti-Irken weapon was already a concept blueprinted inside of that PAK before the merge. Our Dib has several times shown a propensity for some DIY ingenuity, sometimes dipping a toe into the supernatural. Zib entirely calls upon, scavenges and regurgitates Irken designs with a few modifications or upgrades. The Dib Virus, I think is his most uninspired creation yet, for it's original form was always something inside of Zim, even if the latter himself was not aware of the fact. Like all else, it is a weapon he has plundered, customized, and turned around on everyone else for his own selfish ends. This brief point I will end on one  more reflection. The one kind of help Zim ever allowed at his side were the likes of GIR and his own creations. Unable to connect and cooperate with his peers and own kind, his ego preferred to be around those defective machines he related to- drones to be owned by him and always loyally at his beck and call. A slave to admire him unconditionally is the only companionship he's ever been willing to admit to desiring.

And what was Number 2's purpose again? What role exactly were the arena combatants auditioning for, when you think about it?

[dreamofjoys]

— 𝗖𝗛𝗣 𝟭 𝗪𝗔𝗟𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗨𝗣𝗢𝗡 𝗔 𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗠

→ this chapter is part of a series that I am working on. please visit here for more information before proceeding to read

→c/w: fem reader

→ prologue (previous) / chapter 2 (next)

Your eyes shot open, blinking once and twice to adjust to the darkness. Sitting up on your bed, you sighed, realising that it's one of those weird dreams that you were having ever since you have landed in twisted wonderland. Well, you are in a world full of magic, so it's normal to experience things that are considered out of the norm, right?

The crescent moon hung high above the night sky, an indication that it was still late at night. Seeing as how you are wide awake now, you decide it would be best to take a night stroll around ramshackle dorm. Slipping in your sandals, you opened and closed the door quietly, careful not to wake up the cat that was currently snoozing away on the couch.

The cold air hits your body the moment you exited the dorm, making you cross your arms over each other as an attempt to warm yourself up before proceeding on to your usual route. Ramshackle is located in a desolated space, so it shouldn't be a surprise at how eerily silent and dead the entire area is. You ignored the chills that were running down your spine, focusing to walk on the path that you usually take whenever you go on a stroll.

A little deeper. You thought, further stepping into the dark forest that just lies outside of the broken dorm. You weren't one to venture into a forest in the middle of the night just for a stroll. In fact, you could literally shit yourself in your pants right now from how dark the forest it. You don't have super eyesight for night vision, what if you trip and fall onto something?

However, there was a desire burning inside you that overcomes your fear of the unknown. Just a little bit more, he should be here-

"Child of man?"

A deep melancholy voice pulls you away from your thoughts. Instantly, you turn to face the man that you have been pining for ever since the both of you met in this same exact place. "Tsunotarou!" You smiled widely, feeling delighted to meet the dark fae - also the very reason why you decided to venture into this dark woods.

“Hm, your eyes seems a little puffy today. Did you just woke up?” Due to the height difference, Malleus had to peer his neck down to look at you. "Ah yes, I just woke up. But I couldn't fall back asleep so I decided to walk around the woods, uh, ACHOO-"

Your hands immediately fly up to cover your mouth, feeling embarrassed that your conversation has been interrupted by a mere sneeze. "Sorry about that, tsunotarou." Malleus hums, observing your small hands rubbing on each other to create some warmth for your cold body. He notes that you are only wearing a thin cotton layer of night gown that does little to provide warm. The tip of your nose and the plane of your cheeks were red, your body slightly shivering from the night air.

"You are catching a cold." Malleus commented, seeing the small goosebumps appearing on your skin. "It's fine, I have a strong immune system! I won't get sick easily." You tried brushing off the topic, hoping that Malleus would start rambling about one of his ruin discoveries, but Malleus only looks at you with a serious expression, his dark lips pressing into thin line.

Letting out a sigh, Malleus snaps his fingers, and a piece of cloth suddenly appeared out of nowhere. The cloth, or rather the shawl, lands on your shoulders nicely, covering your upper chest. You stare at the shawl in awe, mesmerized by the gold and green embroidery that thread into roses, decorating around the border of the shawl. The fabric itself is a soft black colour. Somehow, the colour palette reminds you of Malleus.

"You can keep this, it's made of high quality fabric that are meant to prevent one from getting cold." Malleus reaches out to help you wrap the shawl around your neck area properly. His movements were soft and delicate, making sure that it's not wrapped too tightly, careful to not let himself touch you inappropriately.

You were glad that your cheeks were already red. If not, you won't know of any idea to explain the reason behind your tomato face.

"Th-thank you." You almost slapped yourself for sounding so pathetic.

"No problem. Let me escort you back to the dorm, it's dangerous to leave a young lady like you alone."

The walk back to the dorm felt way faster than when you came out at first. You and Malleus were both engrossed in the conversation, sharing about your days, talking about the recent VDC competition, and basically whatever that the both of you had in mind.

Within a blink of an eye, the both of you had already reached the entrance of Ramshackle dorm. You were still laughing at one of Malleus's jokes, well, poorly attempted joke since you were only laughing at his failed attempt. When you set your eyes upon the familiar set of doors, your laughter starts dying down, and your expression seems down a little.

Fortunately for you, Malleus is an observant person. "Don't worry, we can still hang out tomorrow." To anyone, he would have sound like a sarcastic person. But you know better that despite his lack of expression, giving you words of affirmation was just one of his ways to comfort you.

"Okay! See you tomorrow then, tsunotarou! Goodnight!" You turned to face him with a bright smile, waving goodnight and thanks to your friend. The moonlight shines on your face, making you glow brightly. Malleus watch you retreat back to your dorm. His sharp ears detecting your loud footsteps thumping up the stairs and into your room. It seems like you were giggling at something. Has his promise to hang out with you tomorrow excites you so much?

For the first time in his life, Malleus felt his heart skipped a beat.

♡♡♡♡♡

You were elated when Malleus had first asked you to hang out with him, so much so that you were skipping your way down the hallways and into your room.

As you dive back under your covers, the shawl that he had gifted you was still wrapped around your neck, and it was definitely something that you would treasure greatly. You bury your nose into the neck, snuggling against the warmth that Malleus had provided you. It would be good if his scent was on it-

No. You shake your head off those thoughts. Your feelings towards Malleus is nothing more than a puppy crush. You were painstakingly well aware about the differences between you and Malleus. You, a commoner without any magic. And Malleus, a SSR Magician that can literally change the weather on his will. Besides, you were going to return home soon anyway, what benefit would it bring to love someone who is going to be worlds away from you?

Shutting your eyes, you decided to just sleep and get over it.Those feelings won't last. You thought to yourself minutes before dozing off the dreamland. But somehow, those thoughts hurts.

♡♡♡♡♡

You start wondering if the sight that you are seeing infront of you is real.

There was 2 figure sitting together under a tree, watching sunset together. The taller figure, who seems like a woman, was leaning her head on the other person's shoulders. The other person, whose figure resembles a man, was holding up a strawberry, pressing it onto the woman's lips. The woman opened her mouth, revealing what seems to be a pair of fangs before taking a bite on the fruit.

Your vision was hazy and blurry, but you could still deduce that both figure were talking and laughing - though you couldn't hear them at all. Judging by the loving gestures, they were both lovers.

It's a dream again. You thought to yourself, wondering if this scene it's just a part of the movie that you had watch back on earth.

Geez, have you miss earth so much that you are dreaming about movies now? It's probably about time for you to wake up.

You couldn't control your body or speak in the dream. You had concluded that your brain was just making up weird fantasies, not until you notice both pair of figures facing you, almost as if they have finally noticed your presence. The woman's mouth opened, she was speaking but you couldn't hear her. Heck, you don't even know how they look like given the hazy situation.

Both figures starts rushing towards you in a frantic manner, but before they could touch you, you had woken up in cold sweat.

Your hands immediately reaching up to pull the shawl close to you, seeking comfort to calm down your frantic nightmare. That was definitely one hell of a nightmare.

[thlayli-ra]

Which 5 fics you've written are your favorites or most proud of?

Ooh! Thank you Anon for slipping into my askbox with a lovely little question. Must admit, this was hard! I'm proud of most of my fics so whittling it down to just five was tricky but here goes;

1. Flint and Steel - I feel like this is the best writing I've ever done. I wrote it back when I had bags of time to edit and re-read what I'd written previously so it's a better coherent story. I love the world-building, the imagery, the harsh but beautiful love story. This is probably still my best work to date and I really hope to finish the series one day and do it justice!

2. Would You Offer Your Throat To The Wolf - This one just feels... special to me. It's the most brutal, graphic and depressing fic that I've written and my first foray into pure horror but was very liberating to write. It also felt like something of an event at the time - I'd been building up towards it here on Tumblr so when I finally posted it, it kinda had its own little following. It's also a fic that has prompted so many incredible comments and feedback from readers, many of which said it inspired their own writing and that is just so cool to me!

3. When We're Alone - Of all my fics, this is probably my own little personal favourite (and one of my least popular 😂). It's a silly, little Underpunk fluff piece set in the Valetverse AU. I just loved writing a hopelessly un-domesticated Punk trying (and failing miserably) to nurse Taker back to health while he was injured. I usually write Punk as very intense and moody so having him in more of a comedy role was a lot of fun (although he's still very moody!)

4. The Moon Rises Red Tonight - My other unloved little baby! It's a close second for my personal favourite fic. It's utter self-indulgence - I wanted all four of my faves to fuck! That's it! That's the premise! But, because it's me, and I'm god-awful at writing smut, it somehow turned into a porn with plot fic, focusing in on politics, corruption, and trauma, whilst also being rather light-hearted and wholesome. And filthy too! It's a weird bag! I adore the au, I adore all the flawed characters and their self-discovery throughout and I want to draw and write more for it in the future.

5. The Chain - Sometimes, a moment sticks in your head and magic happens. That Smackdown where Drew carried a bloody Punk to the ramp and dumped his carcass for all of his hometown to see was....... [local dogs start barking]. I had to write something for it! Originally it was going to be another headcanon essay talking about a motif I'd used in several fics of Punk and AJ being connected by a chain with hooks embedded in their chests when it dawned on my to actually write a fic about it, resulting in this twisted soulmate au. To me, it's a perfect little fic, a beautiful gemstone in my collection and I'm very proud of it.

[Honourary Mention - Yes, I'm cheating here but I couldn't not mention my most popular fic The Valets of WWE. Despite it easily being my worst in terms of writing prowess, it's a huge personal achievement for me. It had a massive cast and was heavily influenced by reader requests and input so I had to think on my feet for every chapter and change things up on the fly sometimes. I also had to write for characters I didn't know very well during an era that I admittedly didn't really watch (no, I'd never seen any Legacy or Social Outcasts footage until writing this fic!!!) so that was a bit nerve-wracking. But despite the challenges, I managed to create this huge, intricate soap opera, that had so many interlinking storylines and plot threads, that had characters bouncing off each other constantly and even if it reads more like a script than narrative, I'm still very proud of it and I always look forward to returning to the valetverse for more!]

[aawesomepenguin]

SONIC RANGERS, EVERYTHING WE KNOW ABOUT IT, LINK FOR ALL SOURCES AT THE END

Ok, the time has come. I spent my entire day doing some searches on the 4chan website, picking and trying to find every nugget of information I could find that I was 100% sure it was connected to Sonic Rangers.

I’ll get this right out of the gate: I’m 95% sure the next main Sonic game will be open world, and what will follow is all my evidence towards it. It’ll be uncharted territory for the Sonic franchise, and we’ll need to see how it pays off.

Also, spoilers for Sonic Rangers, but kind of broad ones, so in my opinion, your experience wouldn’t be ruined if you read all of this. But if you’re one of those that want to go 100% blind, then I think the time to jump off this ship is now.

Here we go.

As it turns out, as I did some digging of my own, and thanks to other observant people, I can confirm that the “Sonic Rangers” name has been circulating on the Internet way, WAY before the accidental leak revealed on May 27th. I will show an entire timeline of these discoveries, and how they connect.

But okay, before we dive in, a general vision of Sonic Rangers: the game will take a brand new approach with the character, placing Sonic in an open world for him to explore. Where through his speed, he’ll do platforming challenges, do puzzles, fight against badniks, etc. When fighting against enemies, the player gains XP, that can be used to give Sonic different abilities. Spread through this world are bosses, where after you defeat them, Sonic obtains orbs, and when enough of them are gathered, Sonic can enter Special Stages, that are structured like a Sonic Generations/Sonic Unleashed boost level. When you complete them, you get a Chaos Emerald.

Ok, now let’s go to the 4chan leaks. From what I can tell, SEGA has been inviting different test groups to testplay their next main Sonic game, under a strict NDA. After it, SEGA collects feedback from the testers. I can’t exactly pinpoint when SEGA began to do these tests, but if I had to guess, it has been around as early as March 2020.

1st Occurrence

In July 2020, another fake leak claiming to be the 30th anniversary game showed up on 4chan, but then, as an answer to it, a person that has really played a test version of the next main Sonic game called the fake leaker out. The person that has put their hands on the next main Sonic game had the following to say:

“I playtested the game back in march and played it for an hour. There were no levels just an overworld. You’re full of s***.”

In another post, the person that got their hands on the testing version of the next main Sonic game, had the following to say:

“It was called Sonic Rangers when I played it.”

1st Occurrence analysis

I believe that the person that played the test version of Sonic Rangers has erroneously interpreted the open world as an overworld, which makes sense. Sonic Rangers name gets dropped for the first time.

2nd Occurrence

In August of 2020, another person that played a test version of Sonic Rangers, stated the following about the next title on the Sonic series:

“It’s not an adventure remake. I playtested it. They ARE working on something, but if they take feedback me and the other panelists gave them, SEGA might change quite a bit from what I ended up playing.

Open World

Set on a gloomy, grassy, uninhabited island dotted with ruins.

Big BOTW influence, little korok-like puzzles scattered everywhere.

Robot/alien bosses scattered throughout the island, defeat them and you get a Chaos Emerald.

Get all Chaos Emeralds and you gain entrance to the final boss area, a foggy forest you couldn’t enter before.

No major characters appeared aside from Sonic.

No story, just dumped in.

Turn Super Sonic to fight the boss, he’s a giant colossus-like entity that you climb, hit his weak points.

These could all be changed because I played a couple of months ago and there still hasn’t been any reveal, so I assume they might be reworking a lot.”

2nd Occurrence analysis

As you can see, in this version, some of the elements that were talked about in the most famous leak aren’t present, some missing elements were added later, but the basic was already present and in place. Sonic can travel through an open world, doing puzzles, defeating badniks and fighting against bosses, to then fight against a final boss as Super Sonic. 

The most interesting thing is how the person that leaked these details claimed that they played it “a couple of months ago”, meaning that this version could take place after the build shown in the first occurrence. Some things have changed since then.

Another cool thing that I wanted to point out was that this build uses placeholder from previous Sonic games. During the final boss, the theme for the first boss fight against Infinite from Sonic Forces is used.

3rd Occurrence

In January of 2021, another anonymous 4chan user talked about Sonic rangers, once again mentioning the name “Sonic Rangers.” As their version is pretty edgy, and negative because Sonic Negativism gets clicks, I’m going to present it in a unbiased manner, and be direct to the point on what they said.

Sonic Rangers, around the end of 2020, was presented once more to a select group of people, two demos were shown. The first one allows exploration of the open world under a time limit of twenty minutes, and another demo that has an apparent Final Boss battle.

Open world is filled with small enemies, puzzles, and platforming challenges.

Completing puzzles, challenges and defeating badniks gives XP to the player as a reward, that can be used to unlock abilities for Sonic.

Among the abilities that Sonic can unlock, there is the “spincycle”, where after pressing the Y button, Sonic begins to create a line behind him, and if the player creates a circle-ish shape around the enemy or a group of enemies, Sonic attacks all the enemies that were “marked” within the spincycle line.

Homing Attack that can target multiple enemies at once, from Sonic Lost World, is back.

There are lots of bosses spread through the open world, when they are defeated, Sonic gets some “orbs”.

If the player gets enough orbs, he can access the “Cyberspace”, essentially this game’s special stage.

The cyberspace levels are like the boost levels in Sonic Generations.

When beating a cyberspace level within a certain amount of time, the player obtains a Chaos Emerald.

New voice clips for Roger Craig Smith were used.

Some new music was made for this build.

In regards to the demo where the player faces the final boss:

After reuniting all the Chaos Emeralds, Sonic can go through a dense fog that the player couldn’t access before in the open world.

A Giant Tree Robot is the apparent final boss.

Fly as Super Sonic using the spincycle and other abilities that were unlocked throughout the game to help defeat the final boss.

Can’t take damage, on a timer of rings. A Ghost girl refills the player’s ring count multiple times.

Demo ended after defeating the boss.

3rd Occurrence analysis

As you can see, this version polished even further the concepts that were talked about in the second occurrence. Instead of getting Chaos Emeralds after defeating a boss, Sonic gains orbs, where after this Sonic has to go after EVEN more bosses to get more orbs. With these orbs, the player can access a Special Stage, named Cyberspace, where you’ll be able to play a more traditional like Sonic game, to get the Chaos Emeralds.

This certainly helps the game longer, which is a plus for me. We’ll probably have seven boost levels, with them being treated like a Special Stage. They also added a XP system, and the main gimmick of this game, the spincycle, was shown in the trailer for Sonic Central.

Sonic will keep building up abilities, which is something I believe the player will be able to use them as different strategies on how to beat different types of bosses.

4th Occurrence

Sonic Central takes place, with a trailer for a new Sonic game at the end. Sonic is running through a forest, and then he begins to glow blue, creating a pixel effect, with a line following him. Sonic then runs in a circle with this new ability that makes him glow blue, and then exits screen.

4th Occurrence analysis

With the context we’ve piled up from previous occurrences, you can put some pieces together. Sonic is clearly activating a spincycle, the main gimmick for this new game, just like how it was said in the January 2021 leak. And just like how the leaker said, Sonic formed a circle-ish shape with this ability in the teaser trailer. Sonic creates a blue energy, creating a line behind him, allowing him to make patterns with it, maybe creating a shape that could surround his enemies?

5th Occurrence

Dataminers and modders are able to get their hands on the 4K trailer for the new Sonic game, finding out that the name of the game is, Sonic Rangers.

5th Occurrence analysis

It perfectly fits with what was stated previously in 4chan threads, specifically, the one from July 2020 and the one from January 2021. Helping give the 4Chan leaks even more credit.

6th Occurrence

SEGA, while sending out press kits to news websites, ends up slipping out the name for their next main Sonic game, Sonic Rangers.

"Announcing new console experiences, Sonic Colors: Ultimate and Sonic Rangers, further details on Netflix's Sonic Prime, mobile news, musical events and much more!"

-SEGA

It was an accident, and SEGA stated they sent an erroneous version, and when pressed about the Sonic Rangers name, it didn’t dwell into it any further.

6th Occurrence analysis

Coming straight from SEGA’s mouth, the name for the next main Sonic game is gonna be Sonic Rangers. This fits a lot with the rumours that came from 4chan from July 2020 and January 2021, making it EVEN MORE likely that the next main Sonic game is gonna be an open world game.

Conclusion

And that’s where we’re at now in terms of Sonic Rangers news. In my opinion, I’m 95% certain that these leaks are legit. Keep in mind that after the Sonic Rangers name came to light, 1001 other rumours were created, but these I have my doubts, since they now have a sturdy base, they can make up more stuff to go along with it.

My opinion: I’m particularly excited for this next main game. Sonic Rangers deals with uncharted territory for the Sonic series, and I feel like it could be very fun. But of course, I’m a guy that’s mostly chill and cool with most Sonic media out there, so form your own opinions.

Anyway...

HYPE FOR SONIC RANGERS!

Source 1, Source 2, Source 3, Source 4, Source 5 and Source 6.

[chosemypain]

📱 [ puts this here but you don't have to reply to it if you don't want too. ]

Send 📱 for five texts my muse didn’t send yours, and one that they did | accepting

[ PADD MSSG; Tam, S DRAFT ] Hope the crew aren’t giving you too much shit. They’re not all partial to my habit of taking in strays.

[ PADD MSSG; Tam, S DRAFT ]  I was reading over some files from Section 31 and something jumped out at me. I think I know where we might find your sister.

[ PADD MSSG; Tam, S DRAFT ] False alarm. They closed down the facility on Axanar two years ago. I’ll keep looking.

[ PADD MSSG; Tam, S DRAFT ]I’m giving you a second chance, Doc. Don’t let me down.

[ PADD MSSG; Tam, S DRAFT ] You ever been to Risa? Rich boy like you could’ve owned half the planet. 

[ PADD MSSG; Tam, S SENT - 17:37 ] Meet me in my ready room at 18:00. There’s something I need to discuss with you and Lieutenant Tyler.

[aminiatureworld]

In My Dreams V

Characters: Zhongli, fm!reader

Word Count: 3,492

Warnings: None

Premise: The past is many things. Something to admire, something to learn from, something to hold dear. And yet how unreliable it can be, especially in the hands of ghosts.

In which the reader dreams of the past.

Author’s Note: This one is probably the one that deviates most from the original prompt. Still I enjoyed writing it a lot, and I hope you enjoy reading it.  

This is the end! Thank you for reading and for your patience and I hope you enjoyed!

Zhongli

There was a young man standing in front of you. Standing in sharp contrast to the darkened landscape around him he naturally drew your eye. You stood facing him, making no effort to approach him. You weren’t even sure you’d be able to if you tried.

The morning sunlight burst forth suddenly from behind you eyelids. Blinking heavily you let out a groan, turning over and smashing your face into the nearest pillow, willing yourself to go back to sleep. A familiar chuckle sounded next to you as a kiss was planted on your cheek.

“You cannot evade the day forever my love. There is much to be done.”

“Five more minutes…”

“If I let you sleep five more minutes then it will surely turn into at least an hour. Besides, did you not tell me once that five minutes was hardly any sleep time at all?”

“Maybe.” You grumbled.

Sitting up you shielded your eyes with your hand. Though you appreciated the heavy curtains that kept the light out in the morning, you had to admit the adjustment every day could be difficult. Especially when your dreams had been so muted. What had you been dreaming of again? Random thoughts flower in and out of your head. Sometimes about a dark landscape. And maybe a person? You supposed it didn’t really matter.

Gathering your clothes you strapped your adventuring belt across your waist. Frowning at the weight of one of the bags you reached your hand into the satchel. Your fingers found rough stone, and when pulling the offending object out you found yourself face to face with a sort of mineral you’d never seen before.

“Hey, Zhongli?”

“Yes my love?”

“Tell me, have you ever seen this before?”

As you held the crystal out to Zhongli you could swear a flicker of darkness shadowed his eyes. Walking over to take the mineral out of your hand he turned it over gently, an expression of stony focus coating his features.

The crystal seemed to glow slightly. Reddish in hue it seemed to have been shot through with gold, if that was possible of a rock. The rusted red color was opaque, and the features of Zhongli’s hands faded into shadow underneath the mineral. Yet still it seemed almost delicate, the golden glow giving it a sense of fragility that undermined its general heaviness.

“This mineral, it is very strange. It reminds me of something I saw once, long ago, but the makeup is different. I cannot even be sure it is not a combination of various minerals. How very strange.”

“Do you think there’s something wrong?” You asked, surprised by the quiet intensity in Zhongli’s words.

“I doubt it very much. Thankfully I doubt that a single odd crystal could shake the foundations of Liyue. Still, it is very strange.” He rolled it over one more time before looking back into your eyes, stare deadly serious. “Do you mind if I keep this for a little while? I promise I shall return it, only there is one thing I wish to enquire after.”

“Of course you can! What’s mine is yours and besides, I don’t have any particular attachment to it. I found it on the ground somewhere.”

“Thank you my love.”

Zhongli leaned over to give you a soft kiss. You sighed happily, glad to be immersed in his proximity. Still a piece of you wondered at the look on his face, and the smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

The day passed quietly, with no interesting rock discoveries or sudden natural disasters in sight. You’d almost forgotten about the whole rock deal in fact, too busy with the sudden uptick in geovishaps on the plains of Liyue to think about much else. By the time you arrived home that evening your thoughts were filled with nothing other than some rest and time with the one you loved most.

“I’m home!” You announced loudly, taking your shoes off and hanging your pack in its usual spot.

“Welcome back my love.”

“Did you have a good day?” You called out, walking through the hall into the living room. Zhongli was sitting in his usual chair, back facing away from you. Walking over you leaned forward, kissing his cheek before going to face him.

The expression of quiet worry on Zhongli’s face quickly pulled you out of your reverie. Sitting down on his lap you pushed the hair out of his eyes, examining him for any fatigue.

“Is something wrong? Did Hu Tao give you a hard time?”

“Work was fine my love, do not worry. It is only the gemstone you gave to me, it… it is very strange.”

“Strange how?” You asked, a chill running down your spine.

“Only that it is quite unique, so unique in fact that I have never seen a mineral or crystal formation like it. As I said there was once a mineral similar in nature, but the means to that mineral was long ago destroyed, and the formation was different.”

“Was the other mineral dangerous?”

“Not intrinsically. Nor can I sense any intrinsic danger from this mineral. Still, I think you ought to keep it hidden for some time. Citizens would surely be curious, and until I can be sure that this symbolizes no threat to Liyue I would not speak of it.”

“Did you notify the Qixing?”

“I informed Ningguang about it today. I trust that she will come to a decision in regards to any monitoring by the Qixing. Still, there are a few things I wish to observe.” Glancing up at your face Zhongli softened a bit, smiling slightly. “Do not worry my love, I am sure there is nothing to fear.”

“I’m sure you’re right.” You replied. But the sense of mundane bliss that had coated you was now shattered, and you found threads of anxiety tugging at your brain, threatening to consume your thoughts and lead you down the path of worrying.

The young man was back that night, once more faraway and unapproachable. This time however his hand was stretched out, palm up, as if waiting for something.

“What do you want?” You called out. There was no reply.

Suddenly the side of your nightdress grew heavy. Reaching into your pocket you pulled out the gemstone, shining faintly in the dark.

“This? What is it?”

The young man smiled, eyes glinting.

“That is the truth?”

You blinked, eyes useless in the dark that still enveloped the world. What time was it? You lay on your back, listening to the soft sighs of your partner, the noise mixing with the soft sound of birds chirping; soon it would be daytime. You sighed, staring up at the ceiling. You’d been dreaming about something, what was it? It was somehow familiar, as if you’d dreamt it before, though surely it wasn’t a normal recurring dream, as you couldn’t seem to remember it. Still, it had made you uneasy, though you weren’t sure why.

Rolling over to face your partner you closed your eyes. No use thinking about it now. What you couldn’t remember you couldn’t remember. Besides, all you wanted to do was sleep.

The morning came far too soon, and with it the knowledge of a busy day that stretched out before you. Blinking away your fatigue you kissed Zhongli an absentminded goodbye before dragging yourself out the door. Collecting your commissions with equal sluggishness you ignored the stares from other Guild members, the quiet concern of Katheryne as she asked if you had slept alright.

Thankfully the day was gorgeous and the workload relatively light. Leaning against a rock, letting the grass of the Liyue plains tickle your hand you stared up at the blue sky. Absentmindedly you wondered again about the dream. What had it been about? Closing your eyes you tried to call it back. The lazy afternoon sun shined down upon you. Soon you found your thoughts melding together and before you knew it you slipped off into sleep.

There was a young man standing in front of you, eyes stony, smile superficial. You glanced around, confused by the black landscape in which you found yourself. This must be a dream. And yet it seemed so familiar that you were sure you’d dreamt this before.

“What do you want?” You called out. Something flickered in your memory. The gemstone, and the fact this young man had reached out for it.

“The truth.” The young man’s smile grew wider, somehow distorted and foreboding.

“What do you mean by the truth?”

“The truth that they wish to hide. The truth that only they can speak.”

“Who do you mean by that?” You felt panic rising as the dream weighed heavy on you. “What do you mean?”

But the young man said nothing. He merely smiled. Suddenly the black seemed to shatter like glass, falling onto your head and drowning you in pitch.

You lurched forward, breath harsh in your lungs. Standing up you glanced around wildly. That dream, what had that dream been? Searching your pockets you stopped, realizing that Zhongli had never given the crystal back. The memory of your dream, combined with the knowledge that the subject must’ve been the same as the one the previous night, left you stunned. More than shock however you felt panic, pure panic at what you’d just experienced. What did that young man mean? What did he want?

You picked up your equipment, not bothering to organize anything. Making your way down the slopes, the nearest waypoint over the crest of a rocky hill, you could think of only one thing. Zhongli, you had to tell Zhongli. Only he could tell you the answers, only he could stop this panic from consuming you. Looking up at the still blue sky you found yourself releasing a prayer into the wind. Please let everything be alright, please let nothing come crashing down.

The Wangsheng Funeral Parlor was a surprisingly comfortable space, decorated to match the appearance of a tea room rather than a place where the dead were prepared for their final departure. Normally you appreciated this strangely homey atmosphere, so eagerly and carefully cultivated by Hu Tao. Today, however, you felt only urgency. Making your way down the familiar corridors you yanked the door to Zhongli’s office open, praying that he would be inside.

The sight of your love at work was always compelling. Though seriousness and concentration marked his features, the quiet passion for history and tradition could also be seen, softening his gaze and turning what might have been an unapproachable figure into one of surprising comfort. Glancing up at the sound of the door Zhongli smiled softly; a smile that quickly morphed into a frown as he took in your agitated state.

“My love, what is wrong?”

Zhongli stood up, making his way over to you. Dropping your equipment on the floor you launched yourself into his arms. Breathing in his comforting presence you felt your heartrate slow slightly, the shaking you hadn’t even been aware of subsiding.

“Are you alright?” Zhongli’s voice was soft and full of worry.

“I, I don’t know,” you took in a shaky breath, relaxing as Zhongli wrapped his arms around your waist, “I fell asleep while on a break and I dreamt something very, strange.”

Recounting the dream you watched as Zhongli’s eyes darkened. When you were done he pulled you into a tight hug. Carding his fingers through your hair you felt his arms tighten around you, a silent affirmation of his worry.

“I don’t know what to do,” you murmured into his shoulder, “I know it’s just a dream, but it seems so real, so frightening.”

“It will be alright my love. I promise, nothing ill will come to you, or to the people of Liyue.”

“I wonder what he meant,” you shivered slightly, “I wonder who he meant by ‘they’.”

You weren’t sure if you’d truly felt Zhongli freeze for a moment, so focused were you on the emotions that roiled inside your heart.

The young man seemed angrier than he had previously. Glaring at you from across the darkened landscape he shook his head in what seemed to be disgust.

“You didn’t confront him about it.”

“Confront who?” You asked, defensiveness mixing with the panic welling up once more inside of you.

“The hypocrite. The one who claims to love humans while crushing them under his heel.”

“I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

“You do! You’re simply a traitor. You betrayed me, you betrayed the rest of our family. You’ve cursed yourself.”

“I haven’t betrayed anyone!” You heard the pitch of your voice rising. “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“You could’ve made us so happy. You could’ve continued our legacy. Instead your cursed us, instead you cursed yourself. You’re just like them, you’re just like the people who killed us!”

You jolted awake, gasping as you threw the coverlet off you, the heat oppressive and sticky against your sweat drenched skin. Sitting up you forced air into your lungs, breathing in and out, trying to match your rhythm with Zhongli’s, who slept quietly next to you. Gazing down at him you turned the words of your dream back over in your head. “You’re simply a traitor… You’ve cursed yourself.” The words were vague, but you felt a cold sensation creep over you, the unspoken sound of pieces fitting into place and fear clouding your mind.

The next day you could barely drag yourself out of bed, having spent the rest of the night sitting on the floor as thoughts raced through your head. Though you were sure Zhongli had asked you about your current state you couldn’t truly remember any conversation, and the trip to the Guild seemed longer than usual as you found yourself making wrong turns and bumping into various walls.

The commissions of the day certainly didn’t help. Ordered to chase a few Fatui members out of Liyue, or at least stop them from attacking every adventurer in the City, you felt your stomach dropped as you realized the location was that of where you’d found the fateful stone. Climbing over mountain ridges and dodging the occasional hilichurls camp you felt your limbs dragging underneath you. Though there couldn’t have been more than a few meters between you and the Fatui members it felt as if there were actually miles.

The situation only got worse when you finally scaled the last crest, pulling yourself up before two Hydro Legionnaires and an Anemo Vanguard. Summoning your claymore you felt as if your weapon had gotten heavier, and your steps were awkward and unsure as you charged the all too prepared Fatui members.

You swings sliced through the air as if it were made of gel, your steps stumbling and unsure. The Skirmishers dodged your strikes easily, laughing openly and jeering at you to make another dive towards them. You ignored their taunts, trying to focus on your breathing, on keeping your steps uniform and controlled. Still you knew that you were in over your head. You didn’t know what was going to happen, regretted that you hadn’t asked for help or simply requested a day off. Now however you were stuck, locked into a battle you knew you were going to lose.

Eventually the Anemo seemed to tired of your exhausted movements. Running up towards you, you felt your lungs burn as air rammed straight into your chest. Teetering on the edge of the mountain you felt yourself fall backwards. Seeing the sky above you, you let yourself scream. How could you have been so careless? How could you have failed so quickly? Closing your eyes you wished that you might faint. Whatever was at the bottom of this fall, it wasn’t going to be pretty.

However just as soon as your eyes closed you felt your fall broken. Snapping your eyes open you were met with the sight of Zhongli, face stony, eyes glowing preternaturally. Floating down softly he deposited you on a grass ridge of the mountain. Saying nothing he seemed to float upward into the air, aiming right towards where the Fatui were gathered. Sighing you closed your eyes once more, stilling the emotions that swirled inside you, the knowledge that you may have just escaped serious injury or worse. Slumping forward you felt tears at the edges of your eyes. You were tired. You were oh so tired.

“Are you hurt?” Zhongli’s voice was soothing, even in its urgency.

“I’m fine,” you opened your eyes to gaze up at your partner who crouched before you, “I’m just shaken.”

“I should have paid more attention to your physical state this morning,” Zhongli frowned, his smooth features contrasting the emotions that roiled in his eyes, “if I had not been here you may have died.”

“But you were here. Why?”

“This place, it was once a very important place of trade. I returned here to see if there were any lingering traces of that trade, those contracts. It is where I saw the ore that is mimicked in the mineral you found.”

“I see.” You paused, unsure if you wanted your next words released into the world. “Zhongli?”

“Yes my love?”

“The tyrant that boy in my dream mentioned, is that you?”

Zhongli was silent for some time, his deepening frown the only indication he had heard you. Finally he sighed. Sitting down next to you he gazed out onto the landscape, surveying it as he must’ve done all those years as Rex Lapis.

“The place that I mentioned, the origin of the ore from which yours takes its likeness, was a kingdom unlike the Seven which now dominate Teyvat. It was created only by humans, untouched by the hands of a god or higher being. It dabble in alchemy, created stones that could not be found anywhere else. And then, long ago, it was razed to the ground.”

“By who?”

“By the seven archons.” Zhongli’s features were still, his eyes giving away no tangible emotion, no sense of loss or satisfaction or hate.

“I see.”

“The people of the land scattered. Yet some would not forget the destruction of their kingdom. They banded together, creating the Abyss. They hold the old artifacts of their city dear, the prospect of revenge even more so. Their hatred of the Seven runs deep.”

“And the young man who is in my dreams is part of the Abyss?”

“It appears to be that way. Yet there is something about your descriptions, about the stone. The Abyss has never before been able to manipulate people’s dreams. There is something about that young man that is foreign even to them.”

“Yet he must believe in the Abyss very deeply.” You remarked.

“Indeed.”

Zhongli said nothing more, simply continuing to look out over the mountain. You wondered if he held any regrets for the place he destroyed, if he wondered what might come to pass should Liyue be subject to such a thing. Yet you couldn’t find it in you to chastise him. Somehow you knew, the wounds that he already carried would be little helped by your words.

“Thank you for telling me.” You leaned over to lay your hand over your partner. Finally breaking his stare Zhongli gazed at you, face still as ever, eyes tinged with an ancient melancholy.

“I hope I have not betrayed you, or the contract of our trust.”

“How could it be a betrayal if I never asked or knew about it?” You leaned over to press a soft kiss on Zhongli’s forehead. “I’m only glad you told me now.”

The ex-archon’s frame seemed to relax a little. Leaning over he cupped your cheek, brushing his lips softly against yours.

“Thank you,” he murmured.

“Thank you for telling me.”

“What will you do now?”

“I’m not sure. Hope that whoever he was, that young man has given up on me I guess.”

“I hope you do not feel as if you have betrayed someone.”

“How can I feel betrayal for someone that I don’t know or don’t remember?” You shook your head. “I don’t know what that person is looking for, or what he expects of me. I do know you however, and what I do know is that if loving you has made me a traitor of something, so be it.”

Zhongli’s smile was one that reached his eyes, enveloping you in a silent warmth. As the two of you leaned against one another, gazing out upon the landscape shadowed in the afternoon sun, you let yourself finally relax. Questions still sifted through your head, but you let them fall through your consciousness, like sand through your fingers. You didn’t know whether Zhongli felt regret for what he did, whether or not he felt justified in the destruction he participated in. What you did know however was that you loved him.

And for now that was enough.

[sarcasticfina]

Fic Writer Tag Game

How many works do you have on AO3? 263

What’s your total AO3 word count? 4,901,188

How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they? including the fandoms on FFnet, that haven't yet been moved over to ao3, that'd be a total of 37. separating the larger fandoms (marvel, dcu) into their individual parts: Thor; Arrow; Smallville; The Vampire Diaries; Glee; Captain America; Supernatural; Teen Wolf; Iron Man; Life with Derek; Firefly; Friday Night Lights; X-Men; Fantastic Four; Harry Potter; Sons of Anarchy; Girl Meets World; Batman; Daredevil; From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series; Transformers; Lost Girl; Game of Thrones; Banshee; High School Musical; The OC; One Tree Hill; CSI: New York; Degrassi; Gossip Girl; NCIS; The Unusuals; Criminal Minds; iCarly; Secret Life of the American Teenager; Twilight; and The Listener

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. and I wonder (if everything could ever feel this real forever) - darcy/bucky - Steve tells him that Darcy's harmless. Bucky imagines, on paper, Darcy is harmless. HYDRA wouldn't give her a second glance. But he does. He can barely keep his eyes off her. He's not sure he wants to. | Kudos: 5576

2. I Climbed The Tree To See The World (When The Gusts Came Around To Blow Me Down, I Held On As Tightly As You Held On To Me) - darcy centric | darcy/steve - The path to self-discovery, including becoming Coulson's assistant-slash-liaison-slash-bff, Captain America's lady love, and rating fourth on the SHIELD BAMF scale, was like the yellow brick road; it was chaos and confusion around every bend. | Kudos: 3973

3. Take a little piece of my heart (and keep it for yourself) - oliver/felicity - A collection of Olicity prompts on Tumblr posted here for easier access/reading. | Kudos: 3498

4. You put your arms around me (and I'm home) - darcy/bucky - A collection of Darcy/Bucky oneshots, drabbles, and prompt fills. | Kudos: 3293

5. you (anchor me back down) - darcy/bucky - "I'll be right back." Famous last words. | Kudos: 2747

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? not all of them. i do try to keep up on them, especially on longer stories when there's been significant wait times in between chapters, or when a reader is asking a question or is unclear on something. and especially when someone writes a really indepth comment/review, i like to respond to those and talk about motivations and character growth.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? I've written a number of fics that either had suicide or major character death, so i'm not sure if one outranks the other in terms of most angsty... hmm... i remember "be still and know that I'm with you (be still and know that I am here)" and "light a match, burn the world to ash (I will watch it die, and hold your hand as I fly)" both got some pretty intense reactions when they were posted. And "It's Your Song That Sets Me Free (I Sing It While I Feel I Can't Go On)" was basically just angst from beginning to end. buuuuut, i think i'll say "so you think you can tell (heaven from hell" was, only because there's a build up of everything going so right, only to pivot at the end, so it feels very bittersweet.

Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written? i loooooove crossovers. i find writing in the marvel fandom makes things quite easy, but also smallville. as long as i can find a common thread, i enjoy finding a way to overlap two shows. i'll say the hardest one to write was "ruby red slippers (unavailable in her size)." I'm not sure why, but i found writing each personality together just felt strange. i liked the idea behind the story, but i definitely remember feeling like i was really forcing myself to keep going, like something just didn't fit right.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? oh, definitely. you cannot please everyone, it's impossible. for the most part, hate comes and i either argue back, take the criticism for what it's worth, or just ignore it when it's baseless. i think the hate that bothered me the most was a homophobic PM someone sent me re: "you know I will adore you ('til eternity)," on FFnet. i actually went and searched it up. they've since blocked me so i can't read our whole thread back and forth. but i did put part of it on tumblr so i could rant on it a bit, so you can see that here.

Do you write smut? If so what kind? ha. yes. depending on the story, it can be really detailed or really flowery. it depends on the ship, the plot, and how graphic i feel like being. i've definitely become more comfortable over the years with my writing. that said, i think everybody likes something different. i once had a reviewer tell me a sex scene was too much, just too intense. it was a stefan/caroline story and to be fair, that entire oneshot was just them fucking, lol, but it is what it is. to each their own.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Multiple times.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! for the record, i am always happy to have my stories translated and shared. i just like having a link sent to me and to be credited.

What’s your all time favorite ship? i have a list of OTPs, because interests change and as shows come and go, my love for a ship can be shelved for a while before it pops back up at random. currently, i can't get enough of buck/eddie from 9-1-1. and, historically, chloe/oliver (smallville) and felicity/oliver (arrow) have been two of my top OTPs. but i think i'd have to go with bonnie/damon. they had all the potential and the show dropped the ball by not exploring it. at the same time, that's kind of a blessing, because i don't trust those writers to properly explore what they had without eventually destroying it for the likes of de/ena. it means a treasure trove for writing where it could have gone and all the what if's.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will? the intention is always to finish. but given how i feel about allison mack and how that impacts my feelings re: chloe sullivan, pretty much anything with her as a main character is not something i see myself returning to.

What are your writing strengths? What are your writing weaknesses? i'm putting these together because my strength is my weakness. i love to write. when i get an idea, i go all in and i will skip eating and sleeping to just write write write. but i also eventually hit a wall and i get so many ideas that i hyperfocus on one until the steam is gone and then i hyperfocus on the next one to maintain that need to keep writing, accidentally leaving the last story in the dust for entirely too long. i also have clinical depression that comes and goes, which hasn't been super great mixed with covid and isolation, so more often recently, i find myself overly exhausted and despite wanting to write, can rarely get motivated to do so. so, pre-covid, wrote so much i left entirely too many stories dangling. during covid, i've just been reading and struggling to get myself focused enough to do what i love.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? i appreciate the authenticity when possible, but i've recently been reading more about how native speakers of other languages feel when a) their language is butchered by google translate, or b) it's just not genuine in terms of how bilingual speakers act or speak.

What was the first fandom you’ve written for? it was smallville, but i remember adopting it out to someone else because i wasn't going to finish it. so if you look at my ffnet, the first fandom i wrote for appears to be x-men: the movie, but i remember writing a chloe/oliver story prior to that.

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written? i have a lot. i mean, on ffnet, i have 576 stories, many of which were transferred over to ao3, with a lot of oneshots and drabbles getting joined together into collections. so there's a ton to pick from that span a 14-ish year timeline.

"you know I will adore you ('til eternity)" and "let me break (the walls that surround me)" hold a special place in my heart.

honestly, each story is important in its own way. there are bits and pieces of each that i love. every time i write something new it feels like my favorite. my best. and then a new idea comes along. there are scenes i've written that i loved more than the whole of what they became. lines that stand out that are almost too good to be a part of the larger picture.

one of my all time favorite passages i've written was bonnie's thoughts on damon and herself in 'if you love me (let me go)":

He is far from perfect. He is a novel of red, corrective ink. He is frayed pages and torn binding. His life, his choices, his mistakes leave lasting effects on everyone he meets.

She is a lifeboat with a hole in it. An anchor that drowns in the sea while everyone else remains steady above. She is both the calm and the storm, and while she screams that she will not be tamed, she cries. Bittersweet tears that go unnoticed and uncared about.

there are other stories, other pieces of dialogue, that i've been proud of. that make me laugh when i re-read them. that make me cry. and i love them. there are others that make me wilt and cringe and regret. it's a process. love and pride and growth, all bound together.

Tagging: @absentlyabbie, @anonymous033, and anyone else who'd like to fill this all out, haha

[rosethornewrites]

Fic: a grain of millet drifting, ch. 3/3

Relationship: Niè Huáisāng & Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn

Characters: Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, Original Characters, Nie Huaisang

Additional Tags: Assassination Attempt(s), Introspection, Regret, Travel, Post-Canon, POV Third Person, POV Wei WuXian

Summary: Wei Wuxian reaches the Unclean Realm and talks to Nie Huaisang. 

Notes: See end

Chapters: 1 | 2 

AO3 link

———

Wei Wuxian wasn’t accustomed to having nothing to say, but as they entered the Unclean Realm he found himself searching for words. He’d always been able to fill silence, even with nonsense, but Nie Huaisang had perfected the facade of nonsense over the years, and he felt a little as though he was approaching a stranger. 

His old friend was fanning himself as he descended the battlement and approached them, the same fan he’d first carried during the Cloud Recesses lectures in that sweet summer before their world descended into hell. If he tried, he could almost pretend this was a visit from that august period—but only almost. 

“Aiya, Nie-xiong, I only caught your disciple when he took out the fifth assassin, he said,” Wei Wuxian finally settled on. “Someone seems to be spending quite a bit of money trying to kill me again—I’m almost flattered.”

Nie Huaisang’s eyes seemed to narrow slightly over his fan, but when he snapped it closed he was smiling, the narrowing actually crinkling. 

“Wei-xiong, it was so nice of you to send Jiang-zongzhu a letter. He came to ask about it personally, and I think he was happy you thought of him.”

Wei Wuxian kept his face in a careless smile, though that cut at him a bit—he hadn’t seen Jiang Cheng since the Guanyin Temple debacle, and doubted his once-brother wanted anything to do with him, particularly after having learned about his deception regarding the golden core. He’d only sent the letter on the off-chance that it would impact Yunmeng or Lanling, as it was the least he could do after destroying the Jiangs. 

“Jin Ling will have enough problems leading that awful sect without surprise assassins,” he said with a shrug, “so of course Jiang-zongzhu would be concerned.”

The look Nie Huaisang gave him was almost pitying, but he said nothing in response, only ordering a couple of disciples to take Little Apple to the stables. 

“She prefers apples, but likes other fruit just fine, it seems,” he told them, letting them take the reins and lead her away. 

He didn’t bother with the saddlebags, knowing they’d wind up in whatever room had been set aside for him. 

Nie Hengxiang wasn’t quite able to stifle a snort of laughter when the donkey deliberately stepped on Wei Wuxian when she moved past him. Nie Huaisang’s lips twitched before he managed to get his fan up. 

Wei Wuxian almost made a crack about how the women in his life treated him, but none of them were still in his life, and shijie had never…

“There’s good food and wine,” Nie Huaisang said, somehow closer than he had been before. “Really, Wei-xiong, you don’t look like you eat nearly enough!”

He knew he’d lost some time, Nie Hengxiang in the distance following Little Apple, having apparently excused himself at some point during his fugue. 

It shook him, but it was easier to follow his old friend without comment, focusing on the changes in the Unclean Realm since his last visit over a decade before. It looked bustling, and there were more gardens and color, artwork and tapestries brightening the stonework. 

Anything to avoid thinking of his many mistakes and the people who had paid the price for them. 

Nie Huaisang kept up a running commentary about different pieces of art and their artists, about the tapestry industry he had worked to get started in Qinghe, trading for specially dyed silk thread from various places. 

The food was good and the wine was better. They were deep in their cups, still talking of frivolous matters, when Nie Huaisang sighed. 

“Wei-xiong, what on earth are you doing, wandering around?”

The question seemed to come from nowhere, and signaled a shift to more serious conversation that Wei Wuxian wasn’t certain he was ready for. So he pasted on a grin. 

“What’s so wrong with wandering, Nie-xiong? My parents were rogue cultivators, so why shouldn’t I be one as well?”

The look Nie Huaisang gave him was unimpressed at best, and certainly implied he didn’t buy Wei Wuxian’s smile. 

“You didn’t stay in Gusu. I thought you’d stay with Lan-er-gongzi.”

“He’s Chief Cultivator. Associating with the Yiling Patriarch would only make his job harder. He’s already got enough of a mess to clean up—he doesn’t need my messes on top of it.”

And, anyway, if he’d stayed he thought Lan Qiren would actually qi deviate, and he didn’t need that on his conscience. 

“And, anyway, where else would I go?” he asked, tiring of the game where they talked in circles. 

“Yunmeng. Here.”

Wei Wuxian took a big pull of wine, mostly in response to the first suggestion, which he’d rather not address. 

“I threatened you, so I figured you’d prefer I stay away.”

“It’s not like I didn’t deserve the warning, Wei-xiong,” Nie Huaisang said with a sigh. “I put far too many people in danger, and got others killed.”

He sounded almost sad. 

“Mo Xuanyu?” he couldn’t keep himself from asking. 

He was grateful for the second chance at life, such as it was, but the cost grated at him. 

“Mo Xuanyu had seen dage’s head in the treasure room, but… He didn’t want to live, even if I brought him to the Unclean Realm.”

Nie Huaisang twirled the wine jug in his hand, his expression morose. 

“I’d gotten to know him when he was in Lanling. I visited often enough to harass Jin Guangyao, after all. He was a gentle soul, and loved the arts. But his mother’s suicide broke what was left of him when that viper was finished with him.”

Wei Wuxian didn’t know what to say, but he could tell his old friend knows the true cost of that spell—that Mo Xuanyu was gone from all realms, his soul destroyed. Nie Huaisang, he could see, was well aware of that. 

“There was nothing I could do for him except offer the chance of vengeance.”

In the end, that was essentially all Nie Huaisang had gotten out of the whole ordeal—vengeance, justice, whatever they wanted to call it. He wondered if he would have preferred to bring his brother back instead of Wei Wuxian, but knew better than to ask. It would have been impossible, with Nie Mingjue’s soul trapped asunder in the scattered parts of his body. 

Wei Wuxian suspected his own soul had been shattered at his death, but it hadn’t been tied to his body. That, after all, had been destroyed, leaving the pieces of his soul to scatter to the earth. But the spell could fuse the pieces back together in the sacrificed body, so long as they hadn’t faded to nothing. 

Truly, he had to be grateful to Mo Xuanyu.

“No, I regret Qin Su’s death,” Nie Huaisang said. “Though her reputation would have been in tatters had she lived.”

There was no knowing if she had taken her own life with that understanding, or if she had been another victim of Jin Guangyao, controlled somehow by her husband and helpless but to watch herself plunge a knife into her own breast. Either way, whether a suicide or murder, it had arguably been caused by the letter Bicao had written at Nie Huaisang’s behest. 

“And I regret putting the juniors in danger,” he added. “Though I really didn’t mean Jin Ling to be at the temple. I didn’t plan for that.”

But he had endangered them by luring them to Yi City, and Xue Yang would have killed them without remorse, and enjoyed it. 

“I wish you hadn’t involved them, too,” Wei Wuxian said. “It was dumb luck they survived until Lan Zhan and I got there.”

“They have skills,” Nie Huaisang protested weakly. “Not like the two of you at their age, but sufficient to survive, at least.”

He had a point there, at least about the Lan juniors and maybe Jin Ling and Ouyang Zizhen, who seemed to have his head on straight. The rest had at least known to follow orders from a senior. 

“I don’t regret bringing you back, though,” Nie Huaisang said after the silence stretched a bit. “I missed you, Wei-xiong. You never treated me like I was useless, even when I was, and we had fun. I didn’t have any friends once you were gone.”

Wei Wuxian’s first inclination was to protest that Jiang Cheng was his friend… but he knew full well that shijie’s death had broken his once-brother. That had probably put a damper on any friendships he’d had. 

And Nie Huaisang had been alone after his brother’s murder, after the discovery that it had been a murder.

“I’m sorry you were alone,” he said, though it’s not his fault—he was dead at the time. 

Nie Huaisang offers a smile that looks exhausted, probably the first true one Wei Wuxian has seen from him. 

“You know, he taught me the song—the one he used to poison dage—so I could play it on a piccolo.”

A chill raced through Wei Wuxian as he realized what that meant, just how deeply Chifeng-zun’s death had impacted him—like how he’d been made into an instrument of his shijie’s demise. 

“He made you complicit,” he whispered. 

Nie Huaisang’s smile turned bitter. 

“If he’d just killed dage, he’d just be dead. But between the killing, the desecration, and that… I had to destroy him, Wei-xiong.”

Jin Guangyao had set up Jin Zixuan’s death, had caused the situation in which shijie had died… Wei Wuxian could understand Nie Huaisang’s desire for revenge. But revenge cycled over and over and just led to more death—had led to his own. 

“I know,” he said. 

But it didn’t bring back the dead—even he couldn’t really do that. Though people thought that was what he’d done with Wen Ning, it wasn’t quite correct. His body had been actively dying when he’d reanimated him with resentful energy, which had essentially put him in a sort of stasis. He was in between life and death. 

“But dage’s still gone,” Nie Huaisang said, as though reading his mind or seeing a tell on his face. “As are all of the other victims.”

Wei Wuxian set his bottle of wine aside, no longer having the taste for it. All he could focus on was the bitterness of it, and he took no pleasure from it now. 

“More bodies pile up, more blood is spilled. All we taste is gall,” he murmured, thinking of a poem he once read, one that romanticized war.

Much was written on the idea of just wars, often the defensive or punitive kind. But most people felt their wars were somehow just, and the opposing side or sides unjust. And regardless of the writings, he’d seen himself how non-combatants were massacred despite the philosophies of both Mengzi and Xunzi stating the execution of even one blameless person was inhumane and unrighteous. So much of the end of the Sunshot Campaign had been filled with acts of injustice, a disregard of jus in bello.

He found himself suddenly tired, feeling the weight of everything—his hubris, the people who died because of him, who continued to die because of him in service of someone who wanted him dead, his own death. 

“Is it so wrong to just want peace?”

He’d thought, having died once, that perhaps his sins—those he was guilty of and those he was falsely credited with—had died with him. If so, they had been resurrected with him, because even if some of the air had been cleared, he was expected to die again. 

Now he was just so tired, and there was nowhere he could go where he could just exist and rest. Anywhere he went, people would find reason to take offense to his existence, to make rest impossible. 

Wei Wuxian hated that sometimes even now, despite Mo Xuanyu’s sacrifice to resurrect him, he wished he was still dead. He didn’t remember anything of the years that had passed, only a sort of peace that had perhaps come from nonexistence. 

Times like these he felt like his skin was too tight. 

“Wei-xiong?”

Nie Huaisang was looking at him with concern, which was almost funny. Before his death, Wei Wuxian would have said he wouldn’t understand what he was concerned about. Now… even he had scars. 

“Too much wine,” he demurred. “I should… I guess I should sleep it off. I’ll be out of your hair tomorrow.”

That got a frown. 

“Wei-xiong, I’m still looking into the assassins. Please at least stay until it’s handled?”

Right. They hadn’t addressed it. Wei Wuxian had assumed Nie Huaisang had already handled it, which he supposed said something about how high his expectations of his old friend had become, now that he knew his role in Jin Guangyao’s downfall. 

“It’s pretty peaceful here, and we have a lovely library, and good food and wine, and you can rest and get a nice bath,” Nie Huaisang rambled, his tone at the end implying he thought Wei Wuxian needed one.

His old friend’s words, about not regretting bringing him back, came back to him, and Wei Wuxian was belatedly gratified that more than one person was glad he was alive again. He’d left the other one in Gusu. Well, maybe there were more than two—A-Yuan and Wen Ning counted.

“All right, all right,” he said, waving his hands to get him to stop. “I’ll stay, at least until the assassin thing is dealt with.”

Nie Huaisang’s smile was so full of relief and hope, it was almost heartbreaking to think he’d spent so much time alone with his revenge. 

“I wish you’d told me, though,” he said, schooling his voice into petulance, hoping to lighten the mood a bit. 

“If I’d told you about the assassins you might have thought I was threatening you,” Nie Huaisang said, pouting. 

That was fair. After all, he’d threatened Nie Huaisang at the Cloud Recesses, and was used to getting threatened himself. It wasn’t what he was thinking about, though.

“Well, maybe. But I meant when Lan Zhan caught you at the man-eating tomb. Couldn’t you have just told us everything then?”

“If I told you and Lan-er-gongzi, he might have told erge,” his old friend pointed out. “And if he tipped off Jin Guangyao, all bets were off about whether any of us would have survived.”

Wei Wuxian remembered the way Lan Xichen had been taken captive, the garrote against his own neck and then Jin Ling’s, the death of Qin Su and the fact that Jin Guangyao had killed his son, father, brother, and cousin, Nie Mingjue, and likely hundreds of other people to rise to power. 

Here all Wei Wuxian had wanted to do with his own power, the power everyone was convinced he’d use for ill, was farm potatoes (not radishes) in a mass graveyard and protect the people he’d rescued. He’d acquired power out of necessity, to win the war, not because he wanted to babysit the cultivation world—that sounded fucking exhausting and he felt bad Lan Zhan was now stuck in the role. 

“True,” Wei Wuxian mused. “We caught him relatively by surprise and he still managed to kidnap the juniors and organize another siege of the Burial Mounds.”

Plus the situation at the Guanyin temple in Yunping had been very touch-and-go. There had been so many ways it could have gone badly, and nearly did. He was still amazed no one had died—aside from Su She and Jin Guangyao and their peons, but he didn’t care about them.

Nie Huaisang finished his wine and set the empty jar aside.

“In the inn, when I told you about the issue with the sabers…” he started, then sighed.

Wei Wuxian knew what he was asking.

“As the foremost expert on demonic cultivation and resentful energy, you’re hoping I’ll see if I can solve your qi deviation issue while I’m in the Unclean Realm,” he said, not without mirth.

“I know you like puzzles, Wei-xiong. And you get bored easily.”

Nie Huaisang wrinkled his nose at him with a knowing smile, and Wei Wuxian remembered, back in Cloud Recesses, pushing his friend off-balance and into the freezing cold stream out of boredom. He couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’ll do less damage with something to occupy me, as you well know. I suppose I can take a look.”

“Excellent!” Nie Huaisang said, fiddling with his fan in a practiced way, but not bringing it to his face. “Now, we’ll discuss your compensation tomorrow, after you’ve gotten a nice bath and some rest. Your quarters are fully furnished, and I took the liberty of stocking it with some better quality and less threadbare robes…”

As Wei Wuxian feigned righteous indignation, he realized the prospect of staying here made him feel more centered, like he had found a place he actually could rest in this new world, somewhere where he wouldn’t be a burden, where he could maybe do some good.

He thought maybe Nie Huaisang had recognized that in him, but maybe also in himself—that they could help each other in what amounted to a time of transition for them both.

Wei Wuxian could rest here for a while, taking in a refreshing breeze, before he continued wandering this terrestrial world. 

---------

The poem Wei Wuxian is thinking of is Wei Wang’s “Song of Mt. Yanzhi,” which is more a celebration of war, but it’s a remembered line that hits him here. 

Regarding the issue of just war (and aggressive vs. defensive vs. punitive war), there’s a lot written on it in multiple cultures’ philosophies. Famously, Mengzi/Mencius resigned his post in the Qi dynasty when the Qi army killed non-combatants and plundered wealth. There are some really fascinating papers on this issue. Jus in bello is a really fascinating concept involving the responsibilities an invading army has to the inhabitants of the area they are invading. Yes, I read scholarly research articles when writing this chapter, because that’s how I roll.

The last line is a reference to Su Shi’s “First Ode on the Red Cliffs,” same as the title.

Nope, we don’t know who sent the assassins, but Nie Huaisang is working on it, so you know it’ll be resolved (hopefully in less than a decade this time). This fic is about their reconciliation, with that being an unresolved thread. Wei Wuxian’s feelings about Lan Wangji are also unresolved, as is the status of his relationship with Jiang Cheng. If I get inspiration, I might make this a series and handle those in the future. We’ll see!

[theia-aithre]

This is my Gift for Myra @admyrable as a part of the Claudleth gift exchange hosted by @evilbunnyking. 

Chapter 1 will also be posted here in full, but the remaining ones will be on Ao3!

I hope you like it! I struggled to come up with something for a bit as I had so many ideas... Then this happened!

Oh yeah the first chapter turned out to be a huge poem, but don't worry it's just the first chapter! Normalcy will continue afterwards!

Beloved

Rating: T

Chapter 1: Something Beloved

Ever since he was a small child, Khalid of Almyra had only one wish…

He was born a moon too early, with not even a cry in his chest. The court doctor wrote him off as another loss, and turned a blind eye to his struggling breath. His mother was strong and his mother was fierce, but she had long gotten used to the sound of the death song.

But no matter how short, a life was still precious, so she said goodbye with a kiss because she wasn't heartless.

Two days later on a particularly bright and starry night, a powerful wind swept through the palace from the east. It was warm and pleasant, and brought the color into his cheeks.

A sea of glittering stars sat welcoming and bright when he opened his eyes to his first light.

.

The years that followed proved to be a challenge. He often fell ill, and was lanky and thin. A trait that made others look down on him.

At the ripe age of three, he came to recognize the look of disgust that filled the eyes of the servants. A look that was meant and reserved for him alone, tied tightly together with a needle and thread that read:  half-bred.

His mother had a temper and he was always scared to upset her. Whenever his heart was particularly broken he would go to her searching for comfort, only to find that her arms were never open.

  You must defend yourself my beloved. The world is dark, and the world is cruel. You will never survive if you cannot best anyone in a duel.

 So he learned to wield a bow before he could properly speak, and swing a sword before he could write. By the time he was five he was slowly winning his own fights.

But the children his age wouldn't always fight with a blade, they often used rocks or pieces of sticks. As time passed the pain would fade, but no matter how many times they knocked him off his feet, what fell from their lips would always scar impossibly deep.

Through many trials and errors and bouts of desperation he made a discovery. The threats they would pose would crumble with a single drop of desert rose.

.

Almyra was a kingdom run on power, though he lived far away from an ivory tower. As long as you won it didn't matter if you came out black and blue. After all, you were not fit to rule if a commoner could best you.

His family had secured the title of King for seven generations. An achievement that many believed would end after his father, whose might was feared across many nations.

The foreign queen was an exception, she was gifted in battle but not with giving life, both requirements to make a good wife.

Yet she was tolerated because the people's love for their king was expansive, and their respect for his wishes were massive. But the town's folk would whisper, and the servants would snicker that nothing could protect the boy once his weapons were no longer blunt toys.

.

But now, Khalid was six, and tired of all of it. So he strapped his sword to his side and his bow to his shoulder, and decided he'd leave, and suffer no longer.

He wondered if his mother would notice he left or if his absence would cause her any distress.

But he'd made up his mind, and started to run, wondering if the stars would gift her a better son.

He thought of his father, and the last time he saw him.

  Get up son, you must get stronger. How do you expect to lead if you can't stand any longer?

 Shaking his head he hurried down through the town. His father wouldn't miss him, there was no doubt in his mind. He would be grateful for the hole he was leaving behind.

He weaved through the streets, looking for a way to hasten his travel. He used his size to his advantage, and hid beneath a carriage. When the sun whispered it's final goodnight he disguised himself with the children who slept on the gravel.

Before he got too far a pair of shadowy figures cornered him in an alley. Each armed with blades curved like fangs, and faces that mimicked a caracle’s grin, and they started to laugh when they began to close in.

They beat him till he could no longer speak, and kicked him till his body was bloody and weak.

.

There were stories that the people believed in. Tales that were often used as a form of discipline for children. When you breathed your last, where you would awaken again would be determined by your past. He knew he had participated in his fair share of violence, but his heart screamed, and cried out to the silence.

 Though he was only six, young Khalid only ever had one wish.

His favorite star was particularly bright, and he wondered if it would grant him a  friend  in his new life.

As his vision began to fade, something started to whisper, to the darkness it beckoned.

 Closer, and closer.

 From a corner of the night, leapt a small girl with hair of shimmering starlight. Armed with only two stones she made quick work of his attacker’s bones.

When everything settled, and the rogues were no more, she turned to him slowly, lifting him gently as if he were holy.

He looked up to lock eyes with iridescent green, a strange color he'd never before seen.

A girl with wild hair, and dirt on her face had saved his life without thought about his mixed race.

He looked at her without any fear, all the while he kept waiting for her to disappear.

She smiled at him, and leaned in close, her voice a whisper, like a ghost.

When she spoke his eyes went wide and he held his breath.

“Hello boy, I am Byleth.”

[theaterdisneynerdsunite]

A (Controversial) Ranking Of 2010’s 10 Tony Winning Best Musicals

Remember when I thought this blog would be full of original theater content? Oops. Anyways here’s my list. Keep in mind some of these were incredibly close. I kept switching around 7/8, 5/6, and 3/4, but this is what I ultimately settled on. There’s a certain placement that I’m sure a lot of people are going to say is way too low, I’m not saying this is the definitive ranking or “correct”, just my personal opinion based on my individual taste. There are a bunch of musicals from this decade that I love that didn’t win the Tony, but that’s an entirely separate list lol.

10: Memphis

Tbh I know nothing about this show. It could be fantastic, but I’ve never heard the soundtrack, know nothing about it, and am unfortunately unable to listen to the soundtrack until 2020. Nothing against Memphis, I just don’t know anything about it which is why I put it at the bottom

9: Dear Evan Hansen

Put down your pitchforks. This is why I put controversial in the title. I’ve listened to this show multiple times, I’ve read the plot a bunch of times, I’ve had DEH Stan’s try to change my mind, I really, really wanted to like this show. The actors are incredibly talented and have great voices, no complaints there. I have anxiety and other mental health conditions and I was ecstatic at hearing about a show getting popular being about those things. I wanted to like this show. I wanted to connect to Evan, I really did, but the way the story is written makes me deeply uncomfortable with what it says about mental illness, and the music is fine but doesn’t distract from the story for me. It’s sort of generic music wise in my opinion. The way they portray both Connor’s and Evan’s characters makes me actively dislike the show, and it is really, really hard to make me actively dislike a show. I feel ambivalent sometimes, I have mixed feelings sometimes, but I actively dislike this show and that almost never happens. Also NPATGCO1812’s score and staging was phenomenal, Come From Away was sentimental and moving without feeling corny, and Groundhog Day surprised me by being better than I expected. I literally preferred every other show in the category from that year, I know a lot of people love it and that’s great but this is where it falls for me.

8. Once

I love the song Falling Slowly, and I think the actors dancing with instruments on stage was really cool. I think it was one of the first times it was done on Broadway, but I’m not sure. Other than the plot being a bit contrived and flat for me, there’s nothing I really dislike about this show. I just...feel nothing about this show. It’s fine, the music is good background study music, it just didn’t leave much of an impression for me.

7. Book of Mormon

So the songs in this show are absolute bops, and some of the wordplay is fantastic. I can appreciate this show for what it was trying to do. But ultimately, this show comes down to the humor, and you either like this style of humor or you don’t. I never personally found South Park to be my taste in humor. If you like South Park, you’re going to love this show. Even though I don’t find South Park funny, there were parts of this show I laughed at. But there were also parts that I cringed at and the cringe parts increased in hindsight. The songs are my favorite part: Hello, Sal Tlay Ka Siti, Turn it Off, Baptize Me, Mostly Me, I love those songs.

6. Fun Home

This show may have three Alison’s, which are all really good, but it felt like two plots to me. There is the story of Alison and her relationship with her father, and there’s the story of Alison’s self discovery and realizing her identity. These stories intertwine, but I personally find the self discovery and realizing her sexuality story much more interesting and compelling, and I also prefer the songs that are a part of that journey. Ring of Keys and Changing My Major are my favorite songs from the cast album. I read the graphic novel and it seems like it is really true to the spirit of the book. This and Memphis are the only ones I haven’t seen or seen a bootleg of, so I’m not really able to comment on the costumes, acting, choreography, setting etc, but for the most part I like what I’ve heard.

5. Band’s Visit

Another show that really comes down to taste. I liked this show when I saw it, the person who came with me didn’t. Part of the point of the show is rather than go to a big exciting city, they end up in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere in a desert where nothing happens. There are multiple songs dedicated to how nothing happens. And there are a bunch of mini story arcs with varying degrees of focus put on them, the focus shifts to much for anything to really happen. Which is the point, and it’s interesting, you just have to know what you’re in for. It feels like Waiting for Godot set to music, which if you like waiting for Godot like I do is a good thing. The romances are sweet. It feels like it should be in a more intimate off broadway setting, but I like it. The music is hit or miss for me, but the hits nail it out of the park. I like a lot of the songs but I love Omar Sharif, I could listen to it on repeat for hours.

4. Kinky Boots

This show is absolutely fantastic and I love everything about it. The fact that it’s at #4 for me was a shock, because this show is so good. This shows how strong the top of the list is in my opinion, because this show knocks it out of the park. This show has so much heart and sole. The costumes, especially for the drag queens, are stunning, the choreography like the boxing match and the conveyor belt dance are really cool, the acting is phenomenal, and the songs. The songs are so good. If they want to make you laugh they make you laugh, if they want to make you cry they make you cry, if they want to make you dance along belting out at the top of your lungs they are going to make you do that. Seriously, this show is so good.

3. Gentlemen’s Guide to Love and Murder

This just barely edged out Kinky Boots, because I feel like most people like and appreciate Kinky Boots, and I feel like Gentleman’s Guide is severely underrated and ranking it higher is going to let me talk about it even longer. This show isn’t as deep as Kinky Boots but it doesn’t try to be. What this show is, and why I think it’s underrated, is pure comedy. There are a lot of comedic Best Musicals sure, but the comedy is only part of it, but this one is wholeheartedly a comedy, which I feel is kind rare. A lot of things have comedy but it seems like not many are straight up comedy anymore. And the thing is... I’m not usually a fan of straight up comedy, like there are very few straight comedy movies that I enjoy, so the fact that I love this so much when I expected to only like it makes it even better. And as much as I call it a pure comedy, it’s got beautiful love song, great commentary, and a couple of twists that are fun even though you see them coming. The murders are really creative and funny. The characters are great, I love the gag with the Dysquiths where all of the murdered people are played by one actor. The acting, costume quick changes, and everything involved in pulling it off is so cool. I love the songs so much, I don’t think there’s a weak one in the bunch. And one scene may have one of my favorite bits of choreography of all time. It only needs three people, a doorframe and a chair. It’s not flashy or involves a million moving pieces like the costume bit does, but it is ingenious in its simplicity and comedic timing. This show seems largely forgotten by people, maybe because it’s not trying to be deep, but it 100% deserves more love than it gets.

2. Hadestown

If Gentleman’s Guide is one of the funniest shows I’ve ever seen, this is one of my favorite modern cast albums. This also hits a lot of my personal interests, so that definitely helps. I love Greek mythology, I love the anachronistic but also roaring 20’s setting, I love the genres of music they pull from, I love the oral tradition storytelling feel it has, it hits so many of my stylistic favorites that I naturally feel pulled towards it. I love the music, if you asked me to pick my top five, no top ten songs from this show I couldn’t do it. The casting fits the characters perfectly, and the songs match the characters so well. The lyrics are fantastic and the themes are both timeless and incredibly relevant. It feels like it was written in the past year or two, especially the song Why we Build the Wall, but it was written way before ‘Build the wall’ was ever a thing. And the design of the show is so incredibly effective, everything contributes to the feel of the piece and the function of the show. Everything seems so well thought out and crafted, from the costumes to the choreography to the script to the music, there is so much attention to detail and is so intricately tied together even though it feels simple, earnest and straightforward. Which to me is an incredibly difficult needle to thread. Like the famous Dolly Parton quote “it takes a lot of work to look this cheap”, it is such a complex show that looks so simple. And it’s so immersive, you fall into the story. You know how it ends, it tells you from the beginning how it ends, but that doesn’t stop you from feeling exactly what they’re feeling, from believing wholeheartedly that it could end differently despite knowing how it ends, it’s a masterful piece of art.

1. Hamilton

I doubt this comes as a surprise to anyone, even if I did technically make you Wait For It. I feel like calling it a cultural phenomenon is underselling it’s impact. There’s nothing I could possibly say about this show that hasn’t been said hundreds of thousands of times already. This show is a piece of lyrical genius, of musical genius too but a lyrical masterpiece. This show was like Rent was in the 90’s or Wicked in the 00’s, not only an instant classic that permanently affected the modern theater world, but outside of theater as well. I have loved theater long before Hamilton, but this show spoke to so many people outside of theater, made so many people fall in love with theater that wouldn’t have otherwise. It might not be my favorite show by Lin Manuel Miranda, it might not even be my personal favorite one on this list to see live, but nothing else could possibly take the top spot of this list for me. Who would have thought a hip hop inspired rap musical about a relatively ignored founding father would become the juggernaut it is. I don’t know what else to say that other people haven’t said already. It’s Hamilton, what else can I say?

[ouroboros-panacea]

Stone [石头]-Discoveries-[2/?]

Summary: [JJBA x HNK] "Phosphophyllite, my name is Phosphophyllite." Such is your useless life, no matter how many changes you make, how strong you become. Your life will still simply be a tragedy, and you, forever useless. The tale of a gem who suffered because of change, and an ancient being who wanted to change. An odd friendship it'd be. Rebirth seems more like a curse than anything. It would be nice if this didn't end with tragedy. {Disclaimer- I don't own hnk or jjba}

<Previous Chapter> <Next Chapter>

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Kars.

His name was Kars.

Short and simple, yet unique..

Phosphophyllite wasn’t sure if that was the case for him, but she at least knew that he was dangerous. He'd easily be able to smash her up into small, jagged pieces of, well, her. She didn't know why she'd break like glass instead of turning into a floppy, wide-eyed corpse, like the faces of the ground she stood upon just moments back. But it felt right to know she'd disappear like that.

To disappear from the world.

Strangely the thought of it didn’t scare her as much as it should've.

In fact, relief was all she felt in her non-existent heart.

So she kept staring.

At him.

Kars stared at her.

She stared back.

Seeing as the other child wouldn’t speak to him, he decided to initiate the much needed conversation himself.

“Your name then?”

He was met with silence.

Dull eyes peered into his own.

She could've been easily mistaken for a standing corpse, with the pale white pallor of her skin and lifeless mint green eyes.

She hadn’t answered him yet though. 

How rude, seeing as he already gave his own name to her. Still, he waited for her. The silence wasn’t that bad anyways, he was patient enough.

The question hung in the air for a few more seconds, until Phosphophyllite realized Kars had asked her a question. Eyes widening by a fraction, she straightened up from her previous hunched over posture. Her mouth opened-her eyes gaining a hint of light in them-prepared to speak, and a small whisper came out.

“My name? It’s Phosphophyllite.”

They were both anomalies to each other, a mystery in one way or another.

Yet they had both taken up the role of the "villain" in their respective tales, their own timeline.

But was this not a time for rejoicing? (Not that they would know). To be given a second chance in life was a beautiful thing.

Yet now there were new balls to juggle.

One small mistake would lead to the same bad end again.

Phosphophyllite?

What a strange name.

It was excessively long, almost uselessly so. It seemed more like a title than a name.

But he couldn't judge, some of his own had stranger names than that. So he accepted it. Wasn't that hard to do so anyways.

But now he really needed to know how on Earth did this possibly human child end up here in the first place? Why did she look so.. different from the other humans he's seen?

Normal humans didn't wear such strange clothing, covering their skin in a skin tight way. Most of them merely just threw a piece of cloth over their body and that was deemed as clothing. Nothing more, nothing less. Though there had been some particularly different people...experimenting? Yes, yes, experimenting with their newly found ore and time.

It didn't even remotely look like this Phosphophyllite's "Clothes".

Another curiosity was her hair. Whenever any moonlight hit parts of it, the mint green strands seemed to solidify and crystallize into chunks of imitation hair, except with minerals. It would almost sparkle, which was weird because hair should not sparkle and catch the light like that. Yet in the dark it looked very much like normal human hair-with it's wispy strands sticking out at out angles and the original vibrant mint dulling down in the shadows.

Then he looked down to her arms, and spotted what looked like...hairline fractures? On a human arm, which was made of flesh and flesh did not crack like fragile gemstones. Then he blinked and they were gone, a golden sheen covering any part of Phos' body that had fractured.

Curiouser and curiouser.

He needed the answers to the flurry of questions inside his head, right now, and what better way to do so than simply asking?

“Let us get straight to the point, shall we? So how did you get here?”

“I..I'm not sure my myself. I only remember waking up to a horrible smell…” She answered. Phosphophyllite did remember fragments of other supposed memories, but she didn’t quite think they were rather relevant to the question he asked. Would simply babbling about shattering gems, Lunarians (What were those actually? All she remembered was burning hate and a cold, cold acceptance), and...something about hardness, toughness-The components of her daily life?

These "memories" felt personal, in no way did she want to tell this stranger. An image of a pale white being in wispy robes (or was it a formal suit?) was brought to her mind as she slowly got to "know" Kars. Somehow, this made her trust him even less with this image in her mind. But 

'Well, that was helpful.' Kars thought. 'Possibly complete and total memory loss, judging from her state.'

He decided to ask her another question, though the most likely outcome would be a negative as well. Even then, it was worth a try. You'd never know what happened from actually trying something, sometimes they would yield results, others not so much.

The "not so much" was applicable to this one.

“Then, where did you living before you found yourself here? Was it somewhere near here?"

“I’m sorry, but I can’t remember...maybe I could stay with you for now? I don’t think I have anywhere else to go…I'll try not to be a bother and help with anything you need. So can I stay with you for a while?" Again, Phosphophyllite could not tell him anything (About a world where she wasn't there, gone because of her).

'She's kind of gullible' That single thought echoed through Kars' mind. But he had focus on the decision on hand right now-to allow this human to tag along with him and back to the rest of kind, where there was a possibility that his current object of curiosity would get killed or eaten. Or to just dump her here and forget about this "encounter". Option 2 seemed safer for her...so...

...Nah. Since when did he, Kars, care about a measly mortal? All he needed was just a couple of weeks to observe this specimen, it shouldn't be too hard to guard her from the rest. Besides, he could always ask (read: blackmail) Esidisi into helping him. The decision was settled, the human would come with him, and stay with with him. Until she outlived his interest.

While within Phosphophyllite's mind, was a mental debate between three.

'He's way too pushy, what's up with him?' One voice chimed, whiny and childish.

'Wait a bit, he may be useful.' Said another, soothing and calm like glacial ice. Yet there were undertones of confined madness.

'.....' The presence of the third was felt, yet not heard. They did not see any reason for them to input their opinion for now-It didn't matter to them anyways, nothing ever did. All they did was "observe".

'Well...he looks kinda weird too. What's with the skirt? Amirite you sad sack!'

No answer.

'Oi, pay attention to cute little me~' Again voice number 1 punched through the silence.

'Quiet down! You're going to give us both a headache with all the racket you're making!' Number 2 quickly interjected before 1 could say anymore.

Nothing useful came from the third. So Phos decided to go with the much more helpful advice of the second. Not like it was a particularly hard choice anyways. Wasn't like she could just go up to someone and comment on their interesting fashion choices.

"Ok"

Wait what. What happened? Why did he say ok? Did she get lost in her own thoughts or something? Her confusion must've been as clear as day on her near bone white face-Droopy mint green eyes widening to an almost comical degree, her lips parted in question.

To Kars, it told him that she may not be the sharpest in the head. But wasn't that better? She'd be easier to manipulate and use.

"Didn't you listen? I agreed to your little request, you can stay with me until you regain your memories or something. Now let's go, we're wasting time by staying here." Swiftly, he grabbed her thin arms and started to tug her in the direction of his home. Well, community to be more exact but it wasn't like Phosphophyllite needed to know.

Oh. That made more sense now. But man was this guy fast, and he tugging way too hard.

Phos made no sound of discontentment in front of him, but silently protested against his rough treatment.

Like would it kill the guy to slow down and let her walk?

Distinct sounds of cracking started to blast in her mind as Kars basically dragged her out of the rest of the bodies, the distance from her body and her arm fraying the invisible threads that held her limbs in place. Struggling to keep up the pace, she half ran half walked, her feet tripping along the grass like a newborn foal. Then her left foot caught on her right, and she crashed to the ground with the grace of a thundering oaf. The part of her arm in Kars' hand broke clean off, gravity pushing her down so she fell flat on her face. Phos could hear her face shatter, and felt her limbs become fragmented pieces of gem. All in all shocking the young pillar boy in front of her, his violet eyes screaming out the surprise he felt. Kars saw what looked like a clear indicator of the fact that Phosphophyllite was in fact not human, and his interest spiked almost tenfold. 

While on Phosphophyllite's side...

Ah.

She screwed up.

Majorly.

Oh well.

Time to face the "consequences" and see what happens.

-Chapter two end-

[gayasinstupidpodcast]

Gay As In Stupid’s second episode is out! (pun intended)

Hey y’all! It’s Isaac and Aaron and we’re back with another episode of our Fantastically gay podcast, Gay As In Stupid! This month’s episode is about gay trans experiences, where me and Isaac share some of our experiences as gay trans men, talk about the history of societal and medical prejudice, and share an interview with a spectacular trans lesbian on her point of view!

You can find us on the Itunes Podcast App/Webpage at Gay As In Stupid Podcast! You can also find our episodes uploaded to Youtube and Soundcloud! Sorry for any audio goofs this episode! Recoding in my college dorm has proven to be a thotty whom we will have to get used to working with.

Ordinarily, me and Isaac would put our main sources under Further Reading at the top, but I (Aaron) found the main sources I had to go through for this month’s topic to contain disgusting levels of transphobia that I would feel irresponsible telling our listeners to read. If you want to know what I looked through and used, however, feel free to DM me @albert-dj-cashier​

Aaron’s 2018 September Recs!

What The Trans?! (podcast)

A roughly hour-per-ep podcast by Michelle and Ashleigh, two trans women living in the U.K! The hosts are witty, informative, and compelling, and they talk about topics like the current events in UK trans politics, representation in media, institutionalized prejudice, and personal experiences! Their episodes are really fun as well as interesting, and they have a great dynamic!

Big Eden

This is an absolutely Classic gay feel-good film, and one of me & my friend Lauren’s personal favorites! It centers around a gay New York artist who returns to his childhood home in Montana to care for his grandfather, and finds himself having to deal with the loose threads he left behind (and Also finds an unexpected love interest). It’s cute, romantic, super funny, and doesn’t leave you with long spans of meaninglessly meaningful shots and call it Film.

Isaac’s 2018 September Recs!

Yank! A WWII Love Story: A New Musical

Follows Stu, a young man who gets drafted into World War II where he ends up becoming a photographer for ‘Yank Magazine, a journal for and by the servicemen’.  In present day, Stu’s old journal is discovered, and his story of the war, and his romance with Mitch; a handsome Private he met during training. It’s fun, colorful and absolutely heartbreaking. The songs are memorable, and so are the characters. If you like heart-string pulling gay romances and strong lesbians, this production will make you horny!

MIKA

If you aren’t already listening to MIKA, then I don’t think you’ve been living yet. His songs are sweet and fun to dance to, and truly never get old. He’s gay and a talented singer-songwriter. The music he makes can be best described as Pop/Glam Rock (also GAY!!!) Love yourself and go give “Talk About You” and “Grace Kelly” a listen.

MARCY’S FULL AND WONDERFUL INTERVIEW UNDER THE READ MORE

Q: How do you identify? A: I am a trans woman and a lesbian.

Q: How do you feel trans straight people react to your identity? A: honestly, I’m not sure. I don’t personally know any straight trans people. I’d imagine that we have common grounds on dysphoria and trying to understand gender, but with regards to sexuality, I’m sure it’s kinda up in the air. I doubt there’d be like, hostility regarding my identity. Probably just general acceptance, maybe some minor prodding.

Side note: not to generalize, but from what I understand, straight trans women tend to have different experiences with self-discovery than bi or lesbian trans women. The former tend to figure things out earlier, are sometimes seen as more traditionally feminine, etc. Some of this is from rather TERFy science, though, so take it with a grain of salt.

Q: How do you feel your identity is perceived in the LGBT Community? A: from an intracommunity standpoint, I think that trans WLW in general are steadily becoming more accepted as we speak up about or lives and experiences. Many cis WLW, whether actively or passively, exhibit an alarming amount of transphobic beliefs, but I like to think they’re in the minority.

Q: How do you present your gender and what do it mean to you? A: I’m butch, so my experience with womanhood and femininity is… interesting, to say the least. I certainly don’t take a traditional approach to femininity, and I find that very empowering, especially as a trans woman. I don’t wanna force myself into a role that I’m not comfortable filling, just to appeal to what society expects of me. I wear suits and vests and I keep my hair short and I’ve honestly never even touched makeup, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Q: What role do you feel like the intersection of your gender and your sexualilty play in your life? A: my gender and my sexuality are both very important to me, the intersection thereof even moreso. Understanding that intersection has helped me piece together a lot of the questions I had growing up. To put it simply, figuring out that I’m not just trans, but also a lesbian, has helped me figure out like, the past eight-to-ten years’ worth of failed romantic endeavors. The way I experience relationships, the way I interact with people, the way I love are all impacted by both my gender and my sexuality; neither’s importance can be understated.

Q: Do you feel like your gender presentation makes people more prone to invalidate your identity? A: pardon my language but, of fucking course. Like, cis people and transphobes alike will find any reason they can to invalidate a trans person. But the second they find a trans woman who’s a lesbian, who isn’t presenting like a perfectly feminine stereotype, all bets are off my dude. Until I have like, B-cup tits and a soft face, I’m essentially a straight guy in most people’s faces. Which, eh, who cares at this point? Straight people have never understood butch womanhood. I don’t expect them to recognize a trans butch when they see one.

Q: Do you feel like your identity as a gay trans person makes it harder for you to receive proper medical care (hormones, sexual health, etc)? A: quite honestly, I don’t know yet. I’m still pre-HRT; I have yet to jump through the hoops and red tape necessary to get hormones and whatnot. I imagine it’ll be tough, though.

Q: How has your coming out process been different than if you were just trans or gay? A: the biggest difference, for me at least, is that it’s been a multi-step process. For a while I thought I was a bi cis man, then pansexual and agender, then a bi trans woman, and it wasn’t until ~June 2017 that I figured out I was a trans lesbian. Coming out to friends has always been easy; they pick up on new identities and pronouns fairly easy. Honestly, I don’t think my parents quite understand what being trans is right now, but we’re working on it.

Q: Have you ever found yourself feeling guilty over your attraction to women because of your gender identity? A: honestly? At least once a week, I have that dysphoric voice in my head telling me I’m just some creepy straight guy preying on lesbians. I know it isn’t true, it’s just self-doubt and internalized transphobia and TERF rhetoric echoing, but it’s hard to not think that, frankly. Especially when it’s repeated so often.

Q: Do you feel like your voice is heard/your identity is seen between media and the community? A: in media? Outside of a few niche places (and surprisingly, IDW’s Transformers comics), trans lesbians are largely pretty nonexistent. Of course, in the actual community we’re much more populous, but frankly we’re a little bit insular as we tend to mostly befriend and date one another. All in all, don’t think we’re entirely invisible, but I do think we could do with some more fictional representation, and to get more involved with the larger LGBT community.

Q: Is there anything else about your experience as a gay trans person you would like to add? A: admittedly, it hasn’t been until recently that I’ve felt truly comfortable around cis lesbians. Most of my relationships in the past few years have been with other trans girls. There’s a variety of reasons for this, and every woman’s experiences are her own, but for a long time I was afraid that cis lesbians just wouldn’t recognize me as a woman. Q: Would you like your instagram/tumblr to be linked in the episode description? A: sure! I’m @opossumghoul on tumblr and @opossumbutch on other social media

[destructorkittn]

An Open Thank You To Any and All Creators

To anyone to makes anything--writers, artists, musicians, composers, sculptors, singers, directors, actors, any and all types of creators I send a deep, heartfelt "Thank You" for doing what you do.

Even if you never show the world. Even if you're a million book selling author. Even if you think it's terrible. Even if you're ashamed and embarrassed by your work.

THANK YOU.

Thank you for making it. Thank you for putting your heart out, outside your hidden self, and on paper or canvas or a screen. In stone, or clay, or air.

Thank you for the bravery it took to get there.

Thank you for the time it took to structure your thoughts and prepare your mind to try and impress your design onto your medium.

Thank you.

Maybe you never show anyone. Maybe you showed your most trusted person and you became heart broken. Maybe you showed a bunch of people and they all rejected it. Maybe they LOVED IT, but followed their golden praise that filled your heart and lifted it high was followed by poisoned words like "but you did ______ wrong. You should have done _____ instead of _______. You should have taken it this direction. You should have _______. *I* would have ________."

You don't owe them anything. You don't owe them an ending THEY want, or the colors THEY prefer, or the shapes THEY find pleasing. Create for yourself, from within yourself, by your own design. Make because you can, and because you want to, because you love. Make because you hate and you have to pour the poison out of you lest you succumb to it yourself. Forge and found, invent and shape. Keep doing it because it's what you do, because it contributes to the tapestry of life, even if you are the only one to see that contribution.

Thank you for doing it.

Creation--seen or unseen--changes the creator just a little bit. A small path to self-discovery or healing. Sometimes it's lancing a boil within. Sometimes it rings gloriously the entire time. Sometimes it's a dead, empty nothing. But it changes you, so it changes the world.

Thank You For Creating, and therefore changing the world.

Thank you for making it exactly the way YOU wanted. If it didn't come out the way you hoped, Thank You for trying, and please don't stop trying. If you failed completely and had to take it all back to the drawing board, Thank You for putting it out there in the first place. Remember that the from the ashes of disaster grow the roses of success. If it came out exactly the way you hoped it would, and was a smashing success--just to you, or to an audience, or to the world, Thank You.

It's easy for someone outside yourself to find faults or flaws in something they did not emotionally birth. It's easy for them to critique it and tear it apart and analyze all the tiny pieces. They did not build it. Destruction is so much easier than creation. They didn't pour part of themselves into it. They absorbed part of Your Heart into their lives.

Maybe you wrote something and they went along for the ride and read it. Maybe they read it 10,000 times over because some part of it resonated with them. Maybe they eagerly ripped the final few pages from your hands and ran away squealing with joy to finally know How It Ends. Maybe their squeals of joy became shrieks of rage and indignation as they saw your work to the end with you. Maybe they got caught up with what was important to them, what they related to, and missed your true story. Maybe that hurt you. A lot. Or at least a lot more than you expected. Maybe you're a time-hardened veteran Creator and have become so calloused by your audiences reactions that you expected no different.

I Am So Sorry.

It hurts my heart that an audience can't set aside their own expectations and just enjoy what you've made. That they can't just be happy for how it touched them, weep for the ways it moved them, appreciate the new or different ways it caused them to view life and art. That they can't just love it how you made it, and keep in the forefront of their minds the ways it enhanced their lives.

I ache for you, on your behalf. I rage and rail and rant for you, quietly, to myself, at the heartlessness of a community so changeable. Because how I feel, or how they feel isn't the point. It never was. It was about how YOU felt when you found this inside you, and how you felt as you released it into the world.

Maybe that's wrong of me, because maybe YOU aren't hurt. Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe in writing all this, I'm making it about me and not you. If I've lost the true thread of my letter, I'm sorry.

Still, Thank You. A Million Times, I Thank You.

I hope with all my being that any outcries against you or the hatchling ideas from that beautiful brain of yours bounce off your ears. Do not let them lodge themselves in your heart or take root in the fertile soil of your creative being. Do not give someone elses unworthy opinion the space to grow into some strangling vine that stunts your expression. They do not know the You who made this. They cannot. They can only see fragments through the window of your creation. Do not dwell on those criticisims weigh on your soul the next time you pick up a pen or brush, the next time you raise your voice in song, reach for a keyboard, or turn on your metronome.

You do not create FOR ME, even if I have access to your creation. You built this your way, by your handbook, in your brain, with your dreams and ideas, and I was lucky enough to be able to be part of it.

Thank You, From The Bottom Of My Heart, To All Creators. You make this world a world worth living in.

[prixmiumarchive]

Don’t Hug Me I’m Confused

Disclaimer: The following post contains some personal critique of certain fandom patterns and habits that I personally find strange, don’t relate to, or don’t enjoy. However, this post really isn’t that deep in those areas, and so while I’m not talking about kink at all, just kind of consider this a sort of KINKTOMATO disclaimer. What you enjoy and how you enjoy it is not my business, and your art and cosplays are things that a) seem to be of high quality and b) I could not actually accomplish so kudos to you for doing it even if it’s not my thing in its expression. You do you, and I’ll do me, and I’m not trying to hurt anyone’s feelings. This is just a personal blog post / semi-review that I’m tagging in case anyone else who has watched dhmis wants to read it. This post may likely come across as pretty “anti-shipping,” but rest assured that I probably ship some weird stuff in other fandoms so I’m not judging you, or whatever.

Nursing a headache better and responding to a text, I was reminded of the existence of a weird web series on YouTube that, apparently, was released over the course of several years. The first installment of Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared was shown to me by a former friend sometime after its release many years ago now. Naturally, I was pretty unsettled by it at the time in a sort of nervous-laughter, later-haunted-nightmares sort of way. However, at the time and with its sole initial video being around, the way I processed the video and its purpose was quite different from the way I process it now. I had seen that there were a couple more videos over the years, but I had never actually managed to watch the little series to its sixth installment because at some point I got disturbed ever time and quit. However, in a state of resolve and slightly greater desensitization, I finally finished it up. And I’m strangely satisfied and intrigued, particularly after watching a couple of commentary videos about it.

Rather than rehashing someone else’s explanation, I’ll simply refer to The Film Theorists two videos on the subject. I think that this YouTube channel sometimes gets a lot of raised eyebrows and bad press for reaching really hard to get shock-value, click-bait-y ~dark theories~ out of benign or extremely popular media. I haven’t really consumed their other material, so I can’t speak to that, but I can say that the two videos on DHMIS are not reaching for even more darkness and edge. Rather, they seem to be well-researched, well-reasoned explanations for what is otherwise a strangely difficult work of art to process. I say “work of art” not terribly lightly nor terribly dogmatically because I really don’t know what else to make of something that intrigues, bothers, pleases, disturbs, and fascinates me that is intended to communicate something even if that something is the particular sense of unease I am describing.

As is my custom when I don’t really know what to do with feelings about a particular work of fiction, I opened a tab to AO3 to see if fanfiction exists for that “fandom” to see if a quantifiable fandom is actually there. To my surprise, DHMIS actually had over 100 fics. So, I scrolled through the first couple of pages to see what they tended to be about or whatever. I had no particular craving or desire to read fic about this at the moment; I just wanted to know what the environment was like. And what I found was really, really deeply not what I expected.

A major part of the fandom seems to be something called “p/adlock” shipping which I’m censoring so that I’m not picking on someone’s OTP. Again, disclaimer, not judging, simply commenting. It seems to be shipping the Sketch Pad from the first installment with the Clock from the second. I really don’t know where people came up with this or why it seems to be so passionate, but I am not here to judge. It just seems like it is strangely misaimed and sort of misses the central themes of whatever the hell is going on in DHMIS. Even if I’m not sure what is going on, I’m pretty sure that it is not a romantic love story, subtextually or otherwise. Of course, there’s shipping in everything. Before you get mad at me, let me also say that it reminds me of another fandom I’m involved in in which I am one of the weird maybe-missing-the-point shippers, so I’ll get back to that.

Perhaps one of the reasons that this is such an interesting experience for me is that I feel like I’m experiencing my discovery of this fandom much the way those who discover the Portal fandom and poke around not knowing what to expect must do. I came looking for commentary or elaboration on the universe that seems to have been established in these little shorts. Instead, I find shipping that I cannot really find the thread for at all. Now, of course, I would argue that I do find subtext and reasoning and so on in Portal fandom and “chelley” (Chell/Wheatley) shipping. I also find reasons to believe that Wheatley being in a humanoid or android form makes sense in some cases. I don’t see why there are humanoid forms of already anthropomorphic set pieces and characters in DHMIS. See the above videos for a theory I’ve pretty much bought into, I think, that these characters represent props or animations or such anyway while only Red Guy, Yellow Guy, and Duck are real characters/people/performers. (I realize they have names, maybe.)

Anyway, digressing a bit from the strange experience of seeing how a subset of fandom that is really transforming the original work (again - kudos even if not my thing, I think) being the majority when you don’t really get it from the other side of it, I also want to comment on how worth-it I found finally finishing DHMIS. It went from what felt like a strange, occasionally darkly humorous, occasionally dark-dark-dark exercise in internet meme-y nihilism to something that became so much more. Initially, watching the first couple of episodes, it felt like something that existed that sort of titillate and affirm that particular vein of teenage, edgy, oppositional defiance-y, XD-random, I wear black as it is the color of my soul, I have fantasy colored hair despite it not being goth because I like color secretly and because it bothers some conservative people, I’m angry at societal structures that have failed me and am determined to throw all the babies out with all the bathwater because I’m so angry frustration. Now, I still relate to a handful of those things. If my life allowed for it I would be a pink-hair-but-wearing-all-black kind of person some of the time. However, I find that the depth of that particular soft-laughter rage that comes with being a teenager with the experiences to develop it sort of off-putting as someone who has both been-there and has become a teacher in my adult life. I see myself in it, but I also see things that I hate both on their own merits and that I hate in the form of hating it for a person who has to go through it or go through the steps to have gotten there. In the end, though, I found that DHMIS was less late night Cartoon Network programming is the pinnacle of artistic expression and more some kind of play on nostalgia, capitalism, anxiety, power structures, creativity and its opponents, institutionalized violence, and even, maybe, the meat-packing and commercial food industries. In a way, watching it all the way through sort of felt like going through a fast-motion montage of going from being a sort of disturbed teenager to being an adult on the other side of it with a whole other set of frustrations and anxieties that can still be found in the same sort of imagery. It felt like growing up in a weird way.

Still in episodes I had seen before, I remarked to mentioned texting friend that Red Guy was my favorite when she indicated that she was watching a bit of it. I wasn’t even sure why, but in particular his reactions to the clock in the second episode really sold me. All of the characters had strange reactions to a lot of things, but his deadpan, monotone confusion, and the way in which he complies to this-might-as-well-happen sorts of circumstances until he cracks in the end and has some kind of epiphany really resonated with me. Then, I realized, it was because he was, in fact, that avatar of the adult in this situation, and that is its own kind of mind-blow because initially one does not really conceive of these characters as anything but ageless muppets. Which is its own layer of unsettling. In any case, I am really impressed with this little series. Whether or not the “film theory” is right, I feel more satisfied in the end. However, I would really recommend those videos because it totally flipped my perspective on the ending of DHMIS from “there’s no hope and not escape from this hell” or, possibly, “you might escape hell but you’re dooming someone else to replace you,” to something entirely and much more hopeful bout the drudgery of a creatively inclined adult trying to slog through the obstacles and soul-drains that our present societal pressures place on us. I really hope I figure it out in the end like Red Guy.

One final, mostly off-topic note: upon a glance, I think that maybe that film theories youtube channel is, perhaps, more genuine in its efforts to dissect internet memes than in the clickbait it produces for blockbuster movies. But then again, in a a world dictated by ad revenue, whatcha gonna do?

Given that our focuses on what we like about the series seem to be wildly different, I doubt that I’ll be hard-joining the DHMIS fandom for the most part. I enjoyed some of the content in the tag, and if you’re reading from outside it, you might check it out.

If you like or hard-relate to Red Guy and enjoy scifi (Doctor Who, The Expanse), other web series (Carmilla), or other common fandom stuff (superhero shows, DC/Marvel, select anime), you might consider messaging or following me. I’d love to talk about Red Guy with someone who kinda gets it, but again I’m not really interested in shipping in this fandom.

If you read this far, thanks and have a lovely day!

[breezytealy]

DB asks! 4, 7, 19

DB Ask meme!

I came at this guns blazing for the laughs because I do have opinions but I keep them to myself usually - as a disclaimer I hold no negative opinion against people who like the things I don’t or vice versa, I don’t have the energy, I love you all so don’t feel like you have to defend anything.4. Who is your least favorite character?7. Which saga is your least favorite?19. What is your opinion of Super?answers under the cut -

4. Who is your least favorite character?

I could be brave and pick some background character because /I guess/ they would be my least fave, but I’m going to pick from the main cast for max hohoho points. I don’t care for Chiaotzu, to the point I had to double check the spelling of his name.

Now, I 100% agree, this ‘meh’ is born from me seeing first and focussing on Z, and for an early birthday pressie I picked up some more DB manga (nearly finished getting my own full set), so I fully intend on reading it through properly, and I hope to find a greater appreciation for the character from bits and pieces I’ve obviously forgotten. But. BUT. Knowing he has psychic abilities that get put to little or no use later, even the fact he’s based off Chinese vampires/ghosties/zombies (the Jiang Shi)… he has so much potential to be an interesting and useful character in Z and yet it gets ignored. So he’s just… :( 

From Super though it’s Jiren, and to a lesser extent Hit. Hit’s interesting but I just see him as an earless Piccolo in design for some reason? I feel bad about not being able to appreciate him because his backstory and powers are cool but I can’t make myself. Jiren I don’t feel bad about. He’s flat and boring and please leave goD. I guess I don’t like “brooding stoicism” as a defining trait! 

7. Which saga is your least favorite?

After busting my ass to rewrite Cell Games and the lead up to it as a standalone (shameless advertising what), gotta say my least fave is the Android/Early Cell Sagas (other than Garlic Junior saga). Not so much in the manga, it was fine then as it was punchyish but I have this vague recollection of going urghhhhhhhhhh when watching DBZ through. I like DBZ:A and even there it drags to fook for me. There are important points in it, but when I was trying to distill it down it was very much “and this happens and that happens then this then that” - it feels like… it feels like if they were going to make a movie of it you could rewrite and restage a lot of it and still get to the same point with the same impact in the Cell Games.

19. What is your opinion of Super?

On the whole I like it far more than the rest of the fandom. I’m a generally happy person in fandom, I like things, I let things I dislike go, fandom is for fun, I am literally sitting in the corner scrolling past the fandom wank. 

That said, I really, really feel like Super would have benefitted from someone sitting down and writing a story arc and threading things together better. The fluff worked fine, so bit disappointed the big arcs didn’t quite. Toriyama says he was a discovery writer, writing forwards and just seeing what happened, but he could pull things together in the end I feel? Super’s writer’s seem to struggle a little so the dead ends - which stories should have at times! - feel frustrating, rather than a bump in the road for the heroes.

I loved the imagery of the giant spirit sword, and Trunks taking out merged Zamasu. I liked what they were trying to do there, even if it didn’t make much sense taken in the wider context. If someone had given me that to beta read I would have made them change the set-up to make that make sense as I thought it was a grand idea.

I don’t like the other Universes - I could deal with just U6 maaaaaybe. Too many characters too quickly I feel nothing for them.

I love Whis as a character - I absolutely despise him though, I do not trust him or his Dad. If I ever get anywhere with the Grand Epic Story Line this will become painfully obvious.

Like the timelords in Doctor Who, I preferred it when all the Saiyans were dead. Or, at least, if you’re going to give us U6 Saiyans, I want all the world building, I want to know everything!

W H E R E ‘ S  M Y  F L U F F  W I T H  T H E  K I D S ? ? ?