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#so I just get to suffer under capitalism
blurred-honey · 2 months
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Multi factor authentication was a scam created by big phone tracking softwares intended to never allow you to be anywhere without your phone. Too many people were going outside or going to work without their phones, so they made it required to have your phone on you at all times, because they hate us
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citrine-elephant · 5 months
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leon s kennedy would definitely be the kind of guy to physically overexert himself and take on as much of the labor he can because he feels bad if he doesn't. even if it's fair share, he's gotta jump in and help out.
dead tired, exhausted. who cares if he's being taken advantage of and used because the other party(s) know he'll do whatever he's asked. he feels bad. he feels like he isn't doing enough.
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trans-cuchulainn · 2 years
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everybody should have free and equal access to information and art, and also the people who make that art should be able to earn a fair living. both of these things should happen. unfortunately, we live in a world where neither of them happens. moreover we live in a world where they are seen as oppositional forces where to favour one is to deny the other. but it is not the fault of either the producers or the consumers that these truths haven't already been reconciled, it's a) the middlemen who profit from the labour of both sides, and b) the system as a whole that makes living something to be sweated and bled for and not something we can simply do. furthermore it is deeply unfortunate that action against those middlemen will always hurt first the producers of that art and information, because rather than see their profits shrink, the middlemen will only extract more labour for less money. and this will not be a victory for the consumer in the long run, but if the alternative is for the profit to grow at the cost to the consumer, who would blame the consumer for taking the temporary victory? and the system cannot be allowed to continue to exist in the state that it is, and sometimes those middlemen are making choices that do harm. so how do you change it, if you don't want to hurt the people at the bottom who have no power over the people at the top? can it be changed? or will it always be a case of pitting the producer against the consumer as though that was ever the fight to be won in the first place?
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txttletale · 1 month
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So as a fellow communist I assume that you believe in communism because you believe in liberating human beings from suffering.
Don't you think it's a contradiction, then, that you don't believe people should be able to choose what to do with their own lives? That you believe in forced labour?
Isn't doing away with that shit exactly why we want to get rid of capitalism?
"Oh but communism will be so much less exploitative we'll have 4 hour days and better conditions and worker democracy ---" okay but if somebody just refuses anyway? What if they just don't want to? You really think pointing a gun at them and telling them it's the factory or the cage is true to the spirit communism? Are you able to criminalize laziness without becoming a Pig to enforce that? (You can't.)
What about disabled people? And don't hit me with "In our system the disabled will get doctors note for exceptions :) " because countless disabled ppl could tell you what an unreliable and cruel system that would be. There will never be a system perfect enough that can prevent everybody from falling through the cracks. You WILL ruin the lives of people who can never convince anybody around them that what they're going through is real, or that they're suffering enough to justify the transgression of not wanting to do whatever job the Red Bosses decided for them.
You can only guarantee people's freedom if they actually have the freedom to choose.
its amazing how you can say "production of life-saving medicine should be ensured under socialism" and hundreds of people will say "slave camps?? you want slave camps??? you're going to send me specifically to the insulin gulag????"
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obsessivevoidkitten · 10 months
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Heroes To Villains
DILF Yandere Superheroes x Gender Neutral Superhero Reader CW: Noncon, imprisonment, minor violence, gratuitous amount of firearms, super powers, super soldiers, spitroasting, general yandere behavior, bratty reader Word Count: 3.8k (I am sorry this took a bit for me to get to, only took a few hours to write though. I hope you guys love it. Feel free to tip if you do~)
The city you were stationed in was under attack by some fairly destructive super villains. They were either traitors born of the same government program that had produced you and the other super soldiers you worked with or they were sent by another country to attack the retired super agents of your country. Though it was also possible they were a rogue foreigner with a vendetta. All the people making up your squad had been in the military and had made significant enemies.
Their goals did not really matter so much at the moment. It was more important that they were defeated before they caused any casualties.
There were two of them. One of them with an ability to lash out with streams of fire and smoke and another that could jump up really fast and high before slamming down and causing a large explosion on impact.
They were no match for you and your comrades. Red and Ace had handled much worse threats than these two with ease. Ace had been a top pilot before undergoing medical experimentation that left him with angel-like wings and the ability to shoot energy blasts from his hands. The man was like a living B-52. And Red was basically a human tank. Very little could so much as scratch his skin and he had tremendous physical strength.
Both of them had soared through the ranks and had distinguished themselves as competent generals in the last great war. Now they were retired and used their abilities as super soldiers to become heroes and protect the capital from the strange threats that had been unleashed during war time. Mostly the occasional villain. Sometimes a mutant animal.
You had just been a simple medic. Nothing too fancy, but you had hesitantly taken the opportunity to go through experiments that would allow you to heal others much more effectively and without the need for invasive surgery. Most of the super soldiers gained a unique ability and also became more resilient to damage and agile.
And you had gotten those perks too, but not to the degree as everyone else. Though you had gotten an extra ability that most people lacked. Hyper accurate aim with long distance weapons. But you also suffered a drawback when compared to your peers. You got exhausted easily, having very little stamina.
Who could forget the time you had saved the city by firing the railroad gun at the giant robot that used mutated biological components in its construction? Firing a 19,000 pound shell and obliterating an entire giant robot with one perfectly executed shot had been amazing.
You longed for that kind of usefulness again. But currently you were a bit bored, as a long range support unit you frequently hung back a bit. Red and Ace normally cleared everything up themselves without having need of your abilities.
Ace had plucked the hopper from the sky and injected him with a serum that would knock him out cold until he could be taken into custody where his abilities would be removed completely, if they could be. Red had similarly taken out the fire user who had discovered that his searing flames did little more than make Red sweat a bit.
They regrouped together before they started walking back to you, each carrying the limp weight of an unconscious enemy on their shoulders. It would be a few minutes before they got to the rendezvous.
You heard the gruff voice of Red on your comm line.
“We got em’ On our way back now.”
“Affirma-”
You were cut off by a sudden shift underground followed by a woman jumping up from the earth below you and punching you hard enough to launch you several feet.
There had been a third and they had split up to take you on individually.
As you fell through the air you took out your side arm and fired every round in rapid succession. Each one aimed for her heart. Each one hit their mark. But when you hit the ground you had smacked your head pretty hard and the world faded to black.
You woke up in a medical bed in the basement of your headquarters. You were quite dizzy and you felt like you were certainly going to vomit.
You held your hands to your head and your palms flashed.
Much better. If you hadn’t been knocked out you would have simply been able to heal whatever injuries you had sustained in a flash. Oh well you were better now.
Ace walked in to check on you right as you had been getting up. He burst into a smile at seeing you awake. His blue eyes full of joy.
“Hey runt! Glad to see that you’re getting up and about!”
“Who’s a runt!?”
He flexed his biceps to drive the point in.
“Red, get in here, The runt is up!”
You heard his loud steps reverberate upstairs as he bounded towards the basement door and came rushing down.
“It’s been five days, we were beginning to really worry about you, squirt.”
He was smiling but you could tell his red eyes held a lot of concern in them. It seemed like there was something he wanted to say but didn’t know how.
“Well, no need to worry. I am not as fragile as a regular person. And I am fully healed now.”
“Yeah… but you weren’t hit by a normal person. And you aren’t as durable as most of us…”
That was Ace.
“Yeah, yeah, I will be more careful, okay? I know my limits. I don’t need a lecture. I took the enemy down and I am okay now so we don’t need to linger on it.”
Ace put his hand to his face and his wings quivered in annoyance as they often do when he tries to lecture you and you just won’t have it.
You rolled your eyes and finally Red spoke up.
“This isn’t the first time you have gotten hurt on the field. Even with precautions like staying back you still end up injured!”
“What’s your point? It's a battle, injuries happen. At least I can heal.”
Ugh, an Ace lecture you were used to. You didn’t need both of them nagging at you.
You rolled your eyes as Red continued.
“Have you ever considered… going into another career? You volunteer at the hospital… maybe you could do that full time?”
That did it.
“Excuse me? I wasn’t in any command position, but I was a trained soldier all the same! I think I can handle myself!”
You stormed away from them and went up the stairs, slamming the door behind you. Assholes. Who were they to tell you what you should consider doing? It was your life and if you wanted to use it fighting genetically enhanced monsters and super-criminals then that was your right to do so.
It would become evident in the future that this incident was where everything started to go wrong. Going forward in battle they always had at least one of them at your side whenever it was physically possible for them to do so.
When you were eventually still injured even with that precaution, even though it was minor, they pressured you again to quit being a hero. They thought maybe you just were too attached to them to leave so they even suggested that you could still be their medic but you would stay on at the base. You could even still operate the railroad rifle that could fire shells from miles away whenever a large foe approached the city.
But you wouldn’t have it. Fuck them. You told them that if you had to form a new squad in a new city then you would do so.
They frantically apologized immediately so they let it go.
It was unfathomable that they would ever allow you to do such a thing. Go off where they couldn’t protect you even a little? Where some inexperienced whelp of a leader would surely get you killed? Not a chance!
But neither could they allow you to remain a front line combatant. Not after the injuries and not with how easily you became fatigued when exerting yourself.
The solution was ugly, but it was what it was. You left them no other option for your own safety.
Though it would make them criminals themselves they had to do it for your own good. They had to keep you here with them where you would be safe and secure. They could turn the base’s AI defenses to keep you here and make sure that you were safe. They could also have it alert them through their comms if you there was any trouble while they were on a mission.
You were laying on your bed with your hands behind your head. You stared at your ceiling and contemplated all that you had been through. The war, seeing comrades on the battlefield ripped apart with no way to save them as they bled out in agony. You had to protect people from that in every way that you could, and if you did die on the battlefield then that was fine by you.
The intrusion of Red and Ace barging into your room out of nowhere pulled you from your thoughts and you regarded them both with a scowl.
“What NOW!? Can’t you guys at least knock? I mean seriousl-”
Ace cut you off with a hand gesture for silence before Red spoke up.
“Listen squirt… we decided something. We can’t allow you to join us on the field anymore…”
“Didn’t you just apologize for saying that after I threatened to leave? Whatever, I am out of here!”
You hopped up to gather your belongings and set out at once, the mere sight of the two heroes making you want to go on a rampage, but Red pushed you back onto the bed, then Ace picked up where Red had left off.
“Well that’s not all, runt. We also decided… you can’t leave here either…”
You started laughing. It had to be some kind of joke. But the tension that filled the room told you otherwise. You looked from Red to Ace and the empty expression from Ace and the guilty one from Red told you that they were deadly serious.
You grabbed your sidearm and launched yourself at Ace, you weaved past Red and twirled yo get behind Ace and held your arm around his neck with your gun aimed at his head. You didn’t speak a word, your intention clear.
There was no way you would be kept here.
You couldn’t go for Red as small arms fire would bounce off of him, but at point blank range Ace was toast. You backed out of the room, pulling Ace along with you. He cooperated fully. Even a pair of overprotective psychos didn’t want their brains blown out.
Out of nowhere a robotic arm emerged from one of the sockets in the walls. It seized your gun and then Ace flipped your positions with him behind you.
They had reprogrammed the defenses of the base to not allow you to have a weapon. These two were not former generals for nothing. They knew how their adversary, you, would react.
You slammed your foot down on Ace’s and smacked your head behind him to hit his nose. Such weak attacks did nothing to dislodge you from his ironclad grasp.
“Stop this childish behavior and just accept things. This is for your own good. If anything this little outburst has proven that you need to be protected because you certainly cannot control your emotions!”
Red was in front of you, still looking at you with that guilty expression.
“I’ll go get your weapons from your room.”
Ace and you watched in the doorway as Red got a sack and rummaged through every single inch of your private space to look for what was now contraband.
“Come on! If you are going to keep me here at least don’t go invading my privacy like this!”
Much to your embarrassment you actually cried a bit as the large man went through all your things.
He started by removing your pistols from your weapon’s display case. Your Beretta M9, your SIG Sauer P320, you… dear god no… not your baby, not your Magnum Research BFR!
You thrashed more as you saw him take that one.
Then he moved on to your bookshelf. He took out your religious text from the shelf.
“Hey, keep your grubby mitts off of that! It’s sacred!”
“Yeah, Red, don’t you think you should focus o-”
He opened it revealing that it had been cut out and housed one of your many sidearms.
“Of course,” Ace said flatly.
When Red finished with all your pistols he moved on to the ones mounted on your wall. Your Mauser M 98, your Browning BLR, and your little Marlin 70PSS.
The rest of the search was much the same. All but one had been found. Red had to get a second bag for them all. The ones in your desk, under your bed, and the one in your mattress.
Well at least they hadn’t found your most precious gun-child…
“Okay I think I got them all. Nowhere else to search. Be truthful, did I miss any?”
You wiped the tears out of your eyes and lied convincingly. You tried to look as defeated as you could.
“No”
Ace moved the two of you out of the way so Red could take your weaponry to the armory. As he started to leave the room he noticed his footsteps sounded odd in one place.
He pressed his large foot down in the spot a few times, narrowing his eyes.
Fuck.
He bent down and realized he could remove the floor board under the rug in that spot.
He found it, the bag unzipped and your M1 Garand joined the rest of your firearms.
“NOOOO!!! That one is my favorite! It PINGS when you use it!”
Now you were truly defeated, they had gotten every single one of them…
“Holy fuck, how many did you need??”
Ace joined in.
“Yeah that’s all a bit… much…”
“If your only offensive power came from guns then you would make sure to have one near you at all times in case of infiltration or emergencies…”
Ace sighed and let you return to your bed in peace. Or what peace could be had in your glorified prison.
Later in the evening they knocked on your door.
“Hey, we made your favorite food for dinner! And made your favorite dessert too…”
That was Red, you could hear the nervousness in his voice. He knew you would hate him now. You ignored them.
“Come on, don't be like this, you have to eat!”
And that was Ace, insisting that not complying with his psychopathic behavior was childish.
You opened the door and took the food tray. Both of them smiled.
“There, see? We can all still get along. We worked very hard on that meal for you!”
You were sure that they had, they were both skilled cooks. You stared at them expressionless and slammed the tray into their faces before slamming the door.
Ace looked furious but Red held him back.
“Come on Ace… they just need to adjust…”
But you refused to adjust. You ate only when they were out of the house. As the days went by you didn’t speak a single solitary word to either of them, you may as well have been a ghost.
Well… it would have been. Had you not been doing your best to make them the two most miserable men on the planet. You destroyed all the toilet paper, clogging every toilet in the base with it, you destroyed the fridge twice, you broke the TV, tore the couch, the robotic arms stopped you, of course, but you could manage to do a bit of damage each time before it stopped you.
Even Red was getting annoyed with your behavior.
They had both tried everything to get you to behave. Punishments ranging from not eating anything but flavorless oatmeal for days to being forced to sleep in a bed with one of them so they could make sure you didn’t cause any destruction while they slept.
Finally they had had enough, things could not continue on like this and it seemed like you may never open your eyes and see that they were just trying to keep you safe. Without them you’d have ran right into the jaws of danger.
They discussed it among themselves and had one more idea. You needed to feel loved in every possible way. They loved you so much after all, that’s what all this had been about, to protect you because they cared for you. But clearly they needed to step things up a notch or ten.
When they came home that day they barged into your room and grabbed you, taking you kicking and screaming into one of the many spare rooms the base had.
They had outfitted it with a huge bed, the walls painted your favorite color, fresh roses filled a heart shaped vase on the nightstand.
“Let go of me! What did you drag me here just to give me a newer bigger room? A prison is still a prison…”
“It’s going to be…” Red started.
“Our love… nest…” Ace finished, blush evident on his face.
“No thanks. Fucking weirdos.”
“Come on, sex is known to alleviate one’s mood!”
“Yeah, just give it a chance”
Ace smashed his lips into yours and kissed you deeply, you looked at him stunned.
They were serious… You wanted to wretch… Fervently you struggled, trying to get out of Red’s grip but he handed you off to Ace who wrapped his wing around you and led you to the bed.
They took your clothing off before moving on to your own. All of you had scars due to combat and training, and you had seen them nude in the showers before, but this was different. For the first time you felt vulnerable and scared under their combined gaze.
You covered your genitals but they each removed and held one arm so they could appreciate the view. “Come on, don’t be like that. Nothing we haven’t seen before,” Ace whispered as he spread your legs apart.
“Red, did you bring the lube?”
“Yeah, right here.”
Red opened a bottle and lathered both of their growing cocks so that they were drenched with the stuff and then pressed some to your hole and massaged it in. They had no intention of letting this be a painful experience for you. They wanted to show how much they cared about you.
You tried to clench. To close yourself off from them. But the probing fingers would not be denied. You squirmed uncomfortably at the sensation of cold lube being worked into you.
“Try to relax, it will be much better if you embrace us.”
“FUCK YO-”
Red cut you off with a kiss. You tried to bite his tongue but his tongue was no more vulnerable than the rest of his body.
Two sets of hand roamed and pet, and groped your body. Gently caressing you as Red made out with you. When they felt as if they had explored every part of your body they flipped you on to your belly, with Red on his knees in front of you. His crotch level with your face.
Ace was behind you on his knees between your legs, holding them still as he wedged himself closer to your entrance, until the tip of his cock was kissing it.
You couldn’t kick because he had control of your legs. You couldn’t punch because Red had your arms pinned. Now they just had to plug your bratty mouth and you wouldn’t have any means of protest. Verbal or otherwise.
They knew you’d try to bite so Red took your mouth, claiming it with his cock. You tried to move and turn away but once Ace sank his cock into your sensitive depths you gasped in surprise so Red took the chance to put his cock in your soft mouth. He did not go in balls deep, neither of them had yet. They wanted you to enjoy it. To relax. Not worry about being hurt or gagged.
Red humped into your mouth carefully and slowly while Ace did the same behind you.
“Damn, for someone so opposed to it you fit me so well.”
Then Ace added, “Your mouth feels amazing babe. He used his thumb to draw lazy circles into your arms where he held them down. He sighed in pleasure when he felt the pleasured moans Ace was coaxing out of you. Much to your dismay.
But you couldn’t deny that it felt nice. Your body relaxed, just a bit, as the men slowly bred a bit of the stress you had been under out of it.
Now that it seemed that you were enjoying yourself, even though reluctantly, Ace decided he could speed up just a bit, rolling his hips as his cock dug further into you.
Red was going a bit faster too now that you had acclimated and stopped trying to resist so hard. He let your arms go, sure that you had finally realized how silly fighting was. The large man stroked your cheek as he continued thrusting into those sweet lips.
Ace was the first to cum, his wings outstretching fully and deep voice gasping as his large nuts filled you with wave after wave of his seed. His large cock twitched inside of you, pushing you over the edge and into your own orgasm.
Feeling all your muffled cries of pleasure right in his prick caused Red to start cumming. He pulled out, not wanting to choke you on his copious amount of semen that he knew all super soldiers produced in spades, instead cumming all over your face.
Ace pulled out of you and was the first to speak.
“There, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
You didn’t respond, you were still panting from the workout you had just received. You didn’t protest when Ace pulled you into his lap and held you with your head nestled into his chest. Your head laying right on his hawk tattoo. You didn’t protest when red scooted beside him and kissed you tenderly on the forehead. You even let them clean you up and feed you your favorite meal that they diligently cooked for you while you waited politely on the couch. They figured your resistance to them before was just because you had needs that weren’t getting met.
And from that day forward they knew that anytime you got too snarky or rebellious all they had to do was make time to fuck the brattiness out of you.
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vettelsvee · 2 months
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GOODBYES ARE BITTERSWEET SERIES
f1 masterlist | ao3 | requests or let's talk!
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sebastian vettel x singer ex gf!reader | 2018 to 2022 f1 seasons
for more information to the reader: ❥ this series will include some flashbacks to get to know more the characters and their story. ❥ it contains right person, wrong time and friends to lovers tropes. ❥ taylor swift and little mix don't exist in this universe as y/n and her music is based on theirs. ❥ some parts might include sensitive content. pay attention to trigger warnings at the beginning of each part.
started: JULY 17TH 2024 currently status: on going | last updated: july 24th masterlist under the cut !
taglist: [@nhfls @jehun @ferralari @cosmoscoffeee @mcmuppet @myescapefromthislife @mploopssek @sleutherclaw @youre-on-your-ownkid ]
a/n: i couldn't keep it anymore. i just can't thank you enough to all of you who liked, reposted and commented on the very first part of goodbyes are bittersweet. i feel speechless because this story means a lot to me. hope you like the story of these stupid two as much as you liked the first part. hope to see your comments and feedback, and also hope we fangirl together over this two <3
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SEBASTIAN VETTEL AND Y/N Y/L/N HAD BEEN EVERYTHING TO EACH OTHER SINCE THEY WERE LITTLE. The kids from Heppenheim became best friends as soon as their parents' friendship made it possible. To their surprise, but not to the rest of the world, the young pair formed an increasingly strong bond until, after years of internal suffering, they decided to confess their feelings to each other.
However, a slip-up at the beginning of 2013 left Y/N pregnant with the RedBull driver's child. Knowing what it would mean for her partner to bring a child into the world, especially considering that his chances of winning his fourth Formula 1 championship were very high, she made the tough decision to hide the truth from Sebastian, cutting off all relations with him and his family.
Four years after the birth of little Emily, in 2018, Y/N worked tirelessly to provide the best possible life for her daughter in a small bar in her hometown as a waitress and occasionally as a singer, while composing songs that she thought would never be successful... or so she believed until a video of her singing one of the best songs she ever composed went viral on YouTube, reaching more people than she ever imagined.
Even Sebastian Vettel, who never stopped loving the woman who had been his girlfriend for six years despite having tried to forget her many more times that he could count.
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© VETTELSVEE (2024). please, do not steal, copy or translate my works. thanks for reading!
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GOODBYES ARE BITTERSWEET MASTERLIST
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part 1: y/n decides to break up with seb once she finds out she's pregnant part 2: seb finds out that y/n just went viral on youtube after posting a song that might been composed about him part 3: y/n discovers not only that she went viral on youtube on her birthday and that she's offered a reunion with capital records, but also has to face a possible reunion with seb after no contact with him for four, almost five, years part 4: seb comes back home as a surprise only to see that hanna and a little mysterious girl receive them... instead of y/n, who was supposed to finally meet him
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zvaigzdelasas · 7 months
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[ABC is Private US Media]
Attacks on the international airport in Port-au-Prince generated headlines worldwide. Coordinated assaults on multiple prisons freed thousands of prisoners over the weekend. But all that could be just the beginning of what an increasing number of Haiti experts are openly referring to as a full-blown rebellion against the country's sitting government.
I was speaking to a senior diplomatic official in Haiti on Monday, a very sober and calculated person not prone to hyperbole. In discussing the situation, I used the word "gangs" and he cut me off.
"I would stop using that term if I were you," he said, arguing that gangs are what you find in American cities. In Haiti, there are multiple large criminal groups with enormous firepower, now unified with the stated goal of toppling the sitting government.
"They are armed rebel groups and this is civil war," the source said.[...]
Some 80% of the capital is under gang control, if not more, according to the UN. Those groups have fought each other and the government for years[...]
But things have fundamentally changed in the last month. We will get to the "why" in a moment, but consider the following:
-Haiti's dozens of gangs, largely grouped into two competing alliances, have seemingly set aside their differences and rather than attack each other, are working together to attack the government.
-The gangs are not hiding their goal. It is a change in government. Gang leadership, most notably a man called Jimmy Chérizier, aka Barbecue, has said the fighting won't stop until the unelected acting Prime Minister Ariel Henry is no longer in power. He's called for Henry's arrest.
-The gangs have launched a series of well-planned, massive attacks against key targets around the city. Nearly 30 police precincts have also come under fire, many completely taken over or destroyed. Government buildings have also been attacked, including one just 500 meters from the U.S. embassy. There is random, sporadic violence constantly around the city, but these attacks are strategic and targeted.
As to the why—gangs have long sought to fill a power vacuum left behind when President Jovenel Moïse was assassinated in July 2021. But an inflection point came last month.
Henry, in charge since just a few weeks after Moïse's death, had said he would step down by early February. But then, he changed course. The U.S.-backed Henry said the security situation needed to improve before he could leave and new elections could take place. Last week, he committed only to holding elections in August of 2025, a full 18 months away.
That appeared to be the final straw.
In a way, this gang-fueled violence is the armed manifestation of widespread popular anger against Henry and his government. Ordinary Haitians are furious over the ever-worsening poverty, hunger, and violence we've seen under Henry. He is a near-universally loathed public figure.
It is not hard to find people in Port-au-Prince who fully support the actions taken by the gangs, even if they are terrified that they themselves or their families could be collateral damage.
It is not that most in Haiti support the gangs or the chaos they cause. Far from it. Most despise the death and destruction they’ve wrought in the country. But for now, some feel the gangs are the only group capable of forcing Henry out.[...]
Remember this staggering fact: in this democratic country, there is not one elected leader serving at any level of government anywhere in the country. No elections have been held since 2016.[...]
So the rebellion, the attempted revolution, has begun--alongside the seemingly never-ending suffering of millions of innocents.
6 Mar 24
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forzaferraris · 7 months
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NOTHING MATTERS — op81
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pairing: oscar piastri x fem! engineering intern! reader
summary: the best way to get over someone who broke your heart is to get under someone else and (unintentionally) break theirs. / inspired by nothing matters by the last dinner party, listen on spotify here !
style: primarily written with a single smau element at the end.
warnings: 18+, minors do not interact, smut, unprotected sex ((p in v) please wrap it before you tap it)), oral (m! receiving) finger sucking, sub/don undertones but nothing serious, i swear on my life oscar piastri is a grunt and groaner but simultaneously considerably vocal during sex (i will die on that rock), afab! reader, readers kinda uncaring about who she hurts because she’s hurt, reader is referred to as she/her, miscommunication trope, oscar piastri has been in love with reader since the beginning of the season and just assumed one-sided pining. authors refusal to write with capitals, you can pry them out of her cold dead hands.
faceclaim: sofia dirado, although feel free to imagine reader as anyone else.
word count: 4.1k +
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YOU WERE NO STRANGER TO HEARTACHE.
you fear it followed you around more often than not, like a dark cloud that covered your entire existence in this bubble of heartbreak that nothing ever felt good to you, nothing was ever worth it. from your parents divorcing after years of suffering in a loveless marriage to every single relationship you’d ever been in never making past the first time you sleep together — you’ve genuinely felt about giving up on life, going so far as to consider a life as a celibate nun or maybe not, perhaps just the life of a girl who burns through multiple packs of AA batteries using her rose toy.
however, when you’d met levi, your first year of finally being allowed to leave the mclaren technology centre to shadow tom stalland during the 2023 f1 season. you genuinely thought this man had reshaped your entire perspective of love, he made love easy, made loving him feel less like a sport and more like a hobby you could never get sick of, being with hom felt like you’d been going through all the “firsts” all over again, like a cheesy romance movie monologue.
and yet, here you are, sat in your hotel room after the japan gp, suzuka has always been your favourite gp to watch and unfortunately for some reason, instead of standing in the mclaren garage doing your job, you’re sat clad in your team clothes (a stark contrast to the white bed linen) and sobbing over a text message paragraph explicitly telling you that levi has decided to break up with you after he fell in love with someone else during the summer break, someone who “rewired his brain chemistry in a ways you could never do.” you want to get angry, you wish you were an angry person, instead when you got angry you cried, when you got too happy or even just laughed too hard you cried, you were a crier.
your heart is heavy, as you scroll through the other woman’s posts, she’s gorgeous, and that’s where you begin your myriad of self deprecating comparisons of you to her. you doom scroll for what feels like forever until you spiral even further down the heartbreak rabbit hole, your attention drawn to the fact that levi had both unfollowed and removed you as a follower at some point between when he said goodnight and then broke up with you the next day. you watch as stories of their summer break spent together is shared and your jealousy sends you into a blind rage that you block the both of them; because ultimately you knew that he will hold her life he used to hold you — for levi was boring, a one trick pony you’re only just now coming to terms with.
your disheveled appearance and self imposed seclusion from the events of the day were not left unnoticed, you’d resigned yourself to just stand on the outskirts, occasionally moving to sit down and watch the screens as the friday practice begun, you’re uninterested, unmotivated and trying your dandiest to not cry, for the sole reason of simultaneously not wanting to draw unwanted attention to yourself and the fact that the mascara you’re bought at the duty free at the airport was most definitely not waterproof.
the good thing was that you’d be in japan for the rest of the weekend, the worse thing was you knew not s language lick of the language — sure you could probably call someone an idiot in japanese thanks to the sheer amount of one piece you’d watched eith levi during days he didn’t want to do anything you had planned or suggested; however, the single knowledge of know the word idiot in japanese will not get her very far. you’re almost too zoned out to notice the first free practice had finished, oscar’s team engineer tom standall dismisses you, tells you that whatever happened before you came to track is to be sorted out before it potentially jeopardises a race and without a word or argument against hai decision you shuffle out of the garage and into the paddock.
“name, hey wait — wait up” a voice you’ve only heard considerable muffled by a racing helmet and through large oversized noise cancelling team gear headphones when you got to play pretend engineer whenever it was during his practice laps and his qualifying laps, it sends a shiver up your spine, always has and you’re unknowing if it always will.
“oscar? hey! you did so good today, from what i say, p3 is so awesome how are you not more elated about that!” you’d found yourself smiling, wide across your face and sinking into the gentle rhythm of the conversation with oscar. the smile he returns is equally as wide as if his whole face were smiling, you want to punch him — the cuteness aggression playing devil on your shoulder.
“oh nah, i am actually it just hasn’t like kicked in gully yet, i’m waiting for the full body visceral reaction i’m about to have,” he pauses for a brief moment, hands itchy to fiddling with something snd find solitude in dragging one hand after the other through his tangled and sweaty hair. “like just, honestly, jesus christ and in japan of all places fuckin’ hell” he seems both simultaneously out of breath and ready to compete in a marathon.
had it not been a considerably formal setting you swore you can picture him jumping up and down on the spot whilst trying to contain all of his excitement, you allow him to be excited not wanting your own mood and misery to overshadow his complete and utter elation at his podium win. it’s the first time in the few days you’d been moping about that the smile you give off reaches your eyes and oscar’s always paying attention to these things, unbeknownst to you of course.
“your excitement is infectious, surely the team have planned something celebratory for you! you’ve gotta celebrate this i’m sure lando is!” you can’t help but practically beam, you’re mesmerised by the excitement the unashamed amount of happiness this boy is oozing and the bitter feeling in your stomach over it all is just barely going by unnoticed.
oscar shakes his head, overs a tiny shrugs and barely gets another word into the conversation you teo ate having before he’s whisked away by the team to be dragged off towards the podium, you watch as he shakes the bottle of champagne onto lando and max. any and all brief untouched moments of happiness are immediately replaced when your phones buzzes, a notification alert from your ring door bell and the video supplied of your now ex boyfriend grabbing whatever stuff he’d left at your apartment. the situation just breaks your heart even further than when with the whole of the mclaren team being called upon for s group shot with both the boys and their podium wins you ignore it and decided you’d had enough of it all.
the hotel’s quiet as you tap your keycard against the inside of your hand waiting for the elevator to come back down, the traffic from the track back to the designated hotel meant you’d wound up leaving just as all the other drivers had and whilst you weren’t in the mood to face anymore interactions you were lucky to bypass the small group of fans loitering in the hotel lobby. the elevator itself is slow, like most and the way your stomach drops at the incline is almost akin to how you felt when you’d first received that break up text at the start of the week.
if there was one thing you were thankful for, it was the fact the hotel had a bar just off the lobby, which is where you’d found yourself, skirt a little too short, shoes a little too high and too the perfect amount of booby that you won’t get in too much trouble but also attract someone willing to take away the ache in your chest for the night.
you’d been sat at the bar for just under an hour, occasionally chatting to some of the other patrons but mostly the bartender herself; the paper straw mushy and impossible to drink out of sits on a napkin as you sip on the glass uncaring or the lipstick mark on the rim or the smudging it does to your own lipstick — in fact you’re hoping something else smudges the lipstick further if the night doesn’t continue to progress as slowly as it is.
“can i get a beer, whatever you’ve got in the bottle and another one of what she’s drinking” there it is again, the chill on your spine and the heightened sense of the hand that brushes past your ear to give the bartender a bank card. every single nerve ending in your body is on fire when the stool beside you in moved and a body now begins to occupy it, perhaps you’re a bit drunk, you’d already had two of these and what if the different alcohol consumption laws you’re unsure how much alcohol is actually in the fruity little cocktail you’d ordered.
“oscar piastri, i thought i told you to go celebrate your podium with lando, why are you still at the hotel?” there is is, a tone you’d never thought you’d use with someone who wass essentially your bosses boss, which therefore makes him your boss, and yet here you are — sultry tone and lips loosened by the alcohol in your system, shamelessly flirting with him.
“well, you see, i’m more of a pub person than i am someone who prefers nightclubs and being touched and bumped into by random strangers, i fear that’s more of a lando thing than my own” oscar laughs, the way he’s relaxed and carefree shows signs he did however, get roped into pregaming with lando beforehand, the neck of the beer bottle sits between his index and middle fingers, a comfortable position one you're sure would feel weird if you so much as tried to mimic.
you fear you're done for when it comes to watching the way his throat bobs as he takes a swig of the larger, it's a japanese brand one you've never heard of nor tried and you can tell oscar hasn't by the way his nose scrunches at the taste, he still continues to drink it though. time seems to float by, growing continually more comfortable with one another to the point you'd sauntered away from the bar stools and are sat perhaps not even an inch apart in a booth in the corner.
"favourite race destination, so far?" "monaco. most definitely, melbournes a close second, but that's just because of a personal bias" "personal bias?" "yeah. . . you."
you'd never thought to combine the flavours of japanese beer and strawberry liqueur, and yet here you were, back-pressed and arched up against the wall beside a hotel room that not yours, the elevator ride was one stop too long to have it be that you'd gone back to your hotel room, hands, not your own, are roaming places never thought to be touched, the bluntness of their nails digging into the soft flesh of your thighs has your separating from the kiss to lean your head back and full indulge in the simple pleasures received in this moment. arousal builds when soft lips find the pulse point in your neck, your choice signature scent perfume the most aromatic in that area brings a subconscious reaction from oscar, the thigh between your legs juts up and you also convulse right then and there, your own hands ove from holding the back of his neck to drag through his soft, product-free hair, tugging on the last few strands that slip through your fingers.
the beep of the room door unlocking pulls you to your senses, and a hand tight around your waist drags you inside, you cling onto him in the worst way possible, you can see the smudges of lipstick on the corners of his mouth and god, does he look beautiful. you're unsure for a moment, even if the alcohol had loosened you up a little, you still didn't know how to react around oscar, he's looking at you in a way you can't describe, it makes your stomach flip and you're eager, thighs clenching to distribute the friction of your building arousal. you want his lips on yours again, there's zero space between you, you're simply sharing each other's breath.
his hand finds the back of your neck, tangled in your darkened locks and pulls you back in for a kis, is soft, he must moisturise your brain supplies before it fizzes out, the kiss is messy, all teeth, tongues and spit. you whimper into the kiss, knees buckling, your own hands are on a mission sliding under the hem of his shirt to perfectly feel the warmth that radiates off his skin against your cold hands, you can feel the exact moment your cold touch makes him hiss into the kiss and it finally ignites the fire in your stomach. this is what you want.
you two remain lip-locked until your chest hurts and you've traded the same breath back and forth that it's completely died, when you pull away, you finally take notice of the blown-out pupils staring down at you. his a look entirely of lust, desire, arousal and it shows, especially with the bulge in his pants. your bottom lip finds sanctuary in between your teeth when you raise an eyebrow and one of your hands slips out from under his shirt to palm him through the cargo shorts he'd donned to wear.
if oscar's voice sent a shiver down your spine, the way he groaned at your touch against his bulge chilled you from the inside out, the noise rough and gravelly like he'd not uttered a word in weeks, it's deep and low in his chest that you wouldn't have heard it if you weren't practically flush against him. your hand continues to palm him, making riskier moves as your other hand moves to dip your fingers into the waistband of his pants, you don't wait, you don't even need to ask for permission when his own hands are practically shucking off his own clothes for you.
he looks so gorgeous standing right in front of you, the wet patch you can only assume of precum on the front of his boxers has you licking your lips involuntarily, you try to ignore the voices, fight the urgers but you're but a simple girl, eager to please, that you're flicking your gaze up at him as your sink to your knees, the carpet is soft enough against you but you know better and are already seeing the red marks you'll have the next morning.
oscar looks confused for you in the briefest of moments, your nails dragging along his thighs, soft blonde hairs tickle your finger tips and you bite back the sweet giggle you want to let out as you're finally tugging his underwear down. a moment of shock halts your movement, eyes flicking up and down between oscar's gaze and his cock, tip pink, throbbing and leaking — it's a sight to be seen and you're the one who gets to gaze upon it.
your hand wraps around him, fingers barely meeting at the girth and you moan, can feel the saliva pooling in your mouth, your oral fixation working into overdrive, a single flick of your wrist has a louder groan rolling out of oscar's mouth, a quick "fuck" followed after it that as you once again clenching your thighs. your hand sets an easy rhythm, tried and true, one that allows for long strokes at a steady pace and your thumb to swipe between the slit on his tip that has his stomach clenching. his own hand grabs at your hair, both for something to hold onto and to keep it out of our face when you inch closer and allow your tongue to tease his tip with small kitten licks.
"fuck, fuck, name, fuck suck my cock"
the verbalised plea is all you need to finally wrap your lips around the swollen head, the saltiness of his precum mixing with your spit as you moan around him, your tongue swirls around his tip every time you pull back, only to resume bobbing your head and matching the movement of your hand to the pace you set as you take more of him in your mouth, your mouth feels so full and you can practically feel his dick pulse against your tongue when your other hand moves to squeeze his balls.
"holy shit — where did you learn that, fucking hell"
you smile when you pull away, uncaring of the drool that rolls down your chin, oscar seems not to mind either when he's pulling you back up to kiss him, your hand still stroking him slowly. he can taste his pre cum still on your tongue and as someone who'd assumed he wouldn't be fond of the idea, seems more or less enjoying it solely because it's coming from your mouth. his tongue overpowers your own and he's licking in your mouth with such severity that you can feel your own wetness pooling in your panties, had you been horny before you were now basically unbearably horny at this point.
your clothes feel bothersome, and your top and bra come off rather quick once your legs meet the edge of the bed you'd been pushed back against. the cool air of the hotel room meets your nipples and you gasp out once oscar's hot mouth chooses to settle on one and his hand favours the other. it's magic, that's what you can choose to blame it on, with the way oscar's fingers tug and twist one nipple all whilst his mouth and suck away on the other, your back arches up against him when his teeth graze the sensitive bud and you swear you could achieve your first orgasm of the night just from that alone.
his mouth switches to give the same treatment to the other nipple and yours that tug and pull on his hair only urge him on more, whining and desperate and what you want to happen is not happening. you need him, you crave him, you desire him.
"please oscar, fuck me"
there is it, the words oscar had been waiting to hear since you'd kissed him, and who would oscar be if not someone who listened when he was asked to do something. he sits up on his knees, jerks himself a couple of times as he watches you, skirt rugged up to your hips, a perfect picture, a sight for sore eyes, so beautiful, all for him to bare witness too. you back arches, your eager and needy and positively soaked you don't even need to touch yourself to know, your panties are finally pulled off and you hiss at the air that hits your center. you're clenching around nothing, sticky and sweet, eager, he looks up as your and you nods a final confirmation before you supply a weak "please" before his tip is aligning with your entrance and he's sliding in.
the stretch is everything to you, he is perfect, your hand stretching splayed out against the pillow as the tiniest whine falls from your lips, oscar grunts, face and chest flushed, you can hear exactly how we you are just from the squelch when he finally bottoms out and you moan loud enough that if anyone had been walking past the room they would have heard. oscar doesn't move, allowing for your pussy to stretch and get comfortable around him before you nod, rolling your hips to signal him to move and move he does.
"you're so tight, holy shit."
his hips rock back and forth into you, it's slow and sensual something you hadn't expected, your legs shift and wrap around his hips and your body rocks back against his thrusts willing him to move faster. unlike past partners, oscar seems to get the hint almost instantly as he pulls out and shifts slightly, hand holding onto your hips before he's sheathed himself back into you entirely in a singular thrust.
you moan out, toes curling and your legs wrapping around him so tight as if you'd practically become some sex-fueled boa constrictor. you swear his muscles are working overtime as his abdomen flexes with every deep thrust inside you, your body abuzz with electricity, the fire in your stomach scorching as a particular thrust has him hitting your g-spot and your back arching receptively.
in a world where you'd thought this was ever possible, all imaginations and scenarios have proven wrong already as oscar's thumb finds solace on drawing circles on your clit, causing your pussy to clench around him and a hiss to drag itself from his lips. to oscar you feel amazing and the flush on your face perfect evidence of his inability to be shy about telling you so and all you can do is ooh and ahh in return. something pulls in your stomach when he bottoms out in you again, your leg twitches and you're hyperaware that you'd just orgasmed around him, vocalising how it feels and your back arching however, his hips remain relentless only to come to a halt as he pulls out; your words are stopped as you're flipped over with a gentle tap against your thigh.
arms stretched out in front of you and your back arched, give oscar the perfect view to just take a moment to stare at your fluttering pussy, clenching around nothing as you suffer through a partially stunted orgasm. fingers drag through your folds and your body jerks at the sensitivity, the dip between them, pumping in and out similar to the rhythm he kept previous, his middle finger hooks and your face is thrown forward into the pillow as it hits the spongey feel of your g-spot, you gasp out hand white-knuckling the pillow as he focusses his fingers on that one particular spot
"fuck osc – fuck want you back inside me"
you don't bother with caring much about how whiney and desperate you'd begun to sound, throat dry from the gasping and the continuous noises he pulls from you, your tempting him, ass swaying as he chuckles, pulling his fingers out, he coo's at you as you whine to mourn the loss of the feeling, teases you as he slips the tip of his dick through your flushed red folds and bottom out with a quick hard thrust. you scream out, the pleasure perfectly combining with the sudden stretch to make the sweetest mixture of pain and pleasure you'd ever felt and to silence you, the fingers he'd just fucked you with had found the way into your mouth and if there was one thing you were, it was a good girl.
the sounds reverberating around the walls of the hotel room are borderline pornographic, the new pace oscar has set, deep and hard, skin slapping against skin as he practically bounces off you, his free holding your hip steady as your own knees buckle and you can feel the way his dick pulses inside you, the way his movements become sloppy yet still hitting your pleasure spot every time. the fingers in your mouth licked clean of your own arousal now replaced to be covered in your own drool. oscar grunts, his hips snapping against you in a final thurst as he slumps forward to press the most delicate of kisses to the nape of your neck as he feels you up and you cum around him for a second time.
it's messy, whatever hadn't spilt inside you now jerked off onto your back as your knees give out and you slump against the bed. worn out and woozy you're hardly paying attention to oscar cleaning up, the warm washcloth drags along your hot, sticky and sweaty skin in a way that twists your brain and brings out the regret that seeps into your stomach, had your legs not been feeling like they weren't attached to your body you would have scrambled to get dressed and done the walk of shame back to your own hotel room; however, you stay, regretfully.
you don't cuddle, oscar tries not to act hurt about it as you roll over and away from him when he finally climbs in himself. to you this didn't matter, you fucked him, like nothing matters. come the morning you'll be gone before he wakes. because this didn't mean a thing. to you as least.
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yourusername just posted . . . ♫ nothing matters . the last dinner party
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liked by lando.jpg, yourbestfrienduser, lolatung and 11,219 others yourusername and i will fuck you, like nothing matters. load more comments
oscarpiastri oh.
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authors note: please excuse my smut skills, i'm rusty a lil ngl. i love a bittersweet ambiguous ending. if this gets enough recognition and asks, i'll definitely more than likely make a part two or even multiple parts. reminder, if you weren't tagged it means i couldn't find your account.
add yourself to the taglist here !
taglist: @iluminaya @therealcap @marshmummy @@im-an-overthinker @a1leexxa @chasing-liberosis @marauderssworld @nesssywrites @valntynebaby @larastark3107 @justtprachisblog
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hidden-poet · 8 months
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Commander Snow
Summary; Under the advice of Dr Gaul Coriolanus returns back to district 12 where without blinding light of lucy-grey he could see you.
Warnings; dead dove to do not eat, stalking, unrequited love, breeding kink, violence, possessive!Snow, unco/dubco, sexual content, she/her pronouns, explicit.
chapter one
Chapter two
Chapter three
chapter Four
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You got the shoe back to the grieving mother. Helped her bury it before you got home and rested your tired eyes.
It was over. He let you leave.
But a pestering feeling told you that it wasn't true. That instead you had just painted a target on you back.
You walked to work the next morning with the same feeling. You tried to shake it. Peacekeepers would have knocked down your door last night if he ordered. He wasn't going to grab you now. It was over.
But as you saw you boss guarding the entrance to work, you knew it wasn't.
You tried to pass her anyway. maybe commander Snow had taken the Panems back off her and all she wanted from you was payback.
You reach the bottom of the steps but your boss blocks the entry to your work. Dread pools your stomach. Without this job, you and your mum don't eat.
She was only 5-foot but her fiery personality, and dark features made up for her short frame.
"I never thought you were stupid" she spat.
"I've got to get to work".
She steps forward to stop you, "You already know there's no work here for you".
"Six years I've worked for you. Never turned up late. Never took a day off. And now with a click of his fingers you wanna toss me aside? I never thought you were a coward". You snap back.
In the six years you worked for her you never rose your voice at her. Always gave in to her demands to work late, do something outside of your job description.
"Anyone not a coward to Commander Snow is dead. You're looking to end up the same way".
"Commander Snow!" you heard a voice holler from behind the door. She popped her head out to show Vanessa. She was a pretty girl with long red hair and blue eyes.
"I heard you were receiving parcels from a peacekeeper but from Commander Snow! God. I'd let that man root me for free".
"Get to work" Your boss snaps, and Vanessa disappears behind the screen doors. Her laughter following her.
Now sensing sympathy for her loyal worker, your boss takes the journey down the steps coming up beside you, and placing her hands on your shoulders.
''Can i give you a piece of advice; men love the chase but hate the catch''.
You pull back from her stunned that she would suggest such a thing to you.
"It could be worse" She continues, "Uglier men. Men who take with nothing in return. He could prove to be useful to your survival".
You shake your head no. You had never even flirted before. You were so timid, you needed someone gentle and kind for your first time. Coriolanus Snow was no such man.
Your boss nods back understanding your temperament.
"Maybe he will bore" She tries.
"He will". Your voice was shaky and unsure.
"Good luck until then". Your boss turns from you and walks back up the stairs.
You feel your chest tighten as you turn and walk home. You still had two panams that would keep the house afloat for at least two months on a stingy budget.
But you were unsure how much patience that the commander had. Could he outlast you. Would his infatuation run you dry in time. What then if not?
Your mother wage could cover the rent but not much more. You had a few candles, a few sellable things. But who would buy them for what they were worth. Had Coriolanus got the message to all the community that you were to suffer.
You move past people in the opposite direction going to work as you walked. You kept your head down ashamed until you made it to your gate.
Only the opened letterbox lifted your sprits. You reach in pulling out a thin letter with a re-attached capital seal. Your brother had always been resourceful and smart. The letter would not have even left district 8 if not for the seal.
You peel it off carefully, planning to re-attach it once you had enough money to send the letter back.
The letter itself did nothing for your confidence.
The first line demanded to know why your letter had a capital seal. He called you silly if you stole it, and stupid if you traded for it. He reprimanded you for sending the coins which he sent back. He was fine in district 8 and didn't need any help. You only had one job; look after yourself and look after mum. It seemed to him you were failing, consorting with Peacekeepers. If he was still around he would smack you until you saw sense. Stay away from Peacekeepers and look after yourself, the last line read,
I love you, Archie.
You fold the letter, keeping the coins in your hand. He always knew what to do even if he had no idea about the circumstances. You thumb the place where your ring was suppose to be, wishing you fought harder to keep it.
The door was already unlocked as you reached it and you called out surprised.
"Mum?".
You hear cries coming from her bedroom and you rush to get to her.
"Mum!" you call again.
"Bernard fired me" She sobbed on her bed. You sit on the edge and pat her back.
"Mum, I am so sorry. This is all my fault".
She doesn't deny it but places a warm hand on your knee.
"We're going to be ok. It won't last forever" You console. You were going to beat him at his own game. You could endure, you've been doing it all your life.
"Look what Archie sent" You showed her the coins in you palm. She smiles at you through her tears and you smile back.
You would endure.
He would bore.
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You hold your Saturday market stall using the last of your ingredients.
You had only just started but sold four cakes already. You smile brightly at your customer passing him the brown bag. But he doesn't take it, scurrying off.
The Peacekeeper coming up explains it. He picks up a cake and expects it before throwing it to the ground. Four more peacekeepers come up, and start going through your things.
You stand still with the bag pressed to your chest. You wanted to protest but interfering with peacekeeper work was punishable by whip.
You watch as they turn violent. Throwing over your table and stomping on the baked goods. They kick at your things until they break.
You watch them as he watched you.
You hadn't realized he was there until one of the peacekeepers addressed him asking what was to be done about your money box.
His blue eyes remained on you. "Take it".
All of your days profit and your change was taken.
He stands tall in his commanders uniform, his hat upon his head, and hands in his pocket as the peacekeepers left a mess.
You stare at each other until he calls them off. There was nothing left to destroy. Their time there was now wasted.
He takes a step to you as they went back to the van through the parted audience.
You expected him to say something as he nears but his lips never parted. Instead he takes the brown bag from your hands and follows his men to the van.
You stare at your ruined things but don't cry. It was going to take more than that.
You were going to endure.
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You got some work on the side doing laundry. Your clients underpaid you and you had to deliver in the dead of night, but the supplement income took the pressure off.
You had to rebuild your stall, but now that word got out that Commander Snow had it out for you everything tripled in price. No one was willing to be labeled a traitor by him for the going rate of materials.
Food was also tripled. But you didn't tell your mother that. Choosing to tell her you had a reduced appetite given the circumstances.
You had found a macadamia tree behind a row of houses to pick from. You went late afternoon to avoid being seen as you tried and fill your belly.
You stood there now. Plucking the small nuts off the large tree. You had to climb the base, already have taken the lower hanging offerings. You deshelled some, putting them in a pouch for the walk home.
You had been there for nearly an hour but your basket was only a quarter full. It would take another hour to crack all the nuts out of their shells before you could eat them to your full. Your belly ached at the thought.
"Careful you don't fall". Your foot slipped at the voice.
There was no one around to watch you pick the nuts so no one around to hear you scream.
"What did I just tell you" He scolded.
You look down from the tree to see him staring back. He had you crawling higher up but he caught your foot and tugged you gently down. As you lowered yourself he held the deseeding body part as if he was tugging down on a rope.
First your ankle, then your calf, your thigh, your hip, the your upper arm before finally resting on the side of your neck.
In his other hand he held a capital issued duffle bag, and his fingers curled around an apple.
You push off the tree away from him and he lets you.
"What do you want" You ask.
"I heard you were washing laundry" he threw the duffle bag at your feet, "I'll pay double what everyone else is paying".
"I am booked out" you lied. As the series of events escalated people were too scared to even cheat you of work. You had lost two clients just yesterday.
"a trade then" he smiles and it puts you more on edge, "an apple for 10 minutes of your time".
He holds up the apple in his hand. You eye it hungrily. It was red and large, looking juicy in his hand. But you couldn't bare the thought of spending a minute in his presence let alone 10.
"5 minutes" you try.
He smirks, brining up the apple to his teeth and taking a large bite.
"10" he resolves, chewing the apple.
He could see how hungry you were. Your eyes never leaving the apple.
You nod slowly, walking up and taking the apple from his hand. You retreat as soon as you take it, going back to your place.
"You look tired. Have you been sleeping?".
You were right the apple was juicy and delicious. He waits for your answer, not moving on.
"Hard to sleep when you're hungry". You take another bite of the apple, avoiding where he bit.
'You miss my packages" He said it as more a statement then a question. He said it pridefully as if he was proud that you were starving without him.
"Not even a little bit, Sir". it was the truth. The care packages scared you more then anything.
"I miss my job, I miss my stall".
Your answer perplexed him. His strong features locked, and his body tensed.
"Yes, well self-inflected" he dismissed.
You were finally forced to eat the side he bit and he watched with eager eyes as you did.
"Will you sit?" he gestures to the steps of the old house. There was only three of them but they were long and looked stable.
You do take a seat and he follows you.
Once seated, he places his head on your lap, laying down along the step. It causes you to jump up and he lift his head in an uncomfortable position as his cushion jumped away.
He sits back up on the step and reaches for something in his breast pocket. He pulls out a peanut chocolate candy bar. They were popular in the capital and Tigress thought he might want to try them in her care package she sent.
He had no interest but knew you would.
"Here you want this?" it was wrapped in shiny plastic, "All you have to do is sit and let me rest".
You shook the feeling off and returned to your seat. If he tried anything you could just move again.
You tear open the bar, ripping it in half and putting the remainder in your pocket for your mother.
he rests his head down and lays quietly.
"todays the anniversary of my mothers death. Both her and my sister died in child birth together".
he had wanted some condolences. Maybe for her to stoke his face and tell him to sleep.
But she scoffed at him. "last week was the anniversary of little leo lerman's pa. It will always been the day you hung him".
Little Leo Lerman's pa was a traitor to the capital, his mother was a victim of the war they started.
"I've had a long journey back from the Capital. If you can't be kind, you can be quiet".
"I thought you were away" you comment.
"I went back to the Capital for a few days. Returned this morning".
A funeral for a old academy school mate required him to return home. He had to look in touch with Capital matters. But truth being told, he never cared for the man who died. Couldn't remember even talking to him, only ever speaking over him in class when he gave the wrong answer. He was used once more to make Coriolanus look good.
He was glad to see Tigress and Grandma'am too. They both swooned over commander Snow in his uniform. It was nice to be doted over but still didn't itch the need he had. If anything it only grew it.
He longed to return to you. He had hopped that his effort were enough and he would return to you begging for his forgiveness.
Hearing you now noticing his absence gave him a renewed confidence that you would fold sooner rather than latter.
You had only noticed his absence due to the halting of your suffering. No more being stopped and searched by every peace keeper who crossed your path. The 10pm door knocking to check you were home stopped. People even began to talk to you again. You were beginning to think it was over until moments ago.
You chew on the candy, looking around to see even a shadow of a person.
"I heard a rumor while you were gone that you were a peacekeeper in district 12 before commander".
"Most Commanders are Peacekeepers first."
Your hand clutched the railing ready to pull yourself up. But first your gnawing question had to be answered.
"And that while you were a peacekeeper you ran about with a girl named Lucy-grey". His eyes shoot open upon her name. dead and still ruining his life.
"Expect Lucy-grey went missing, and no one's heard from her since".
He sits up and leans against his knees, "It's just a rumor".
You jump back to your feet now the weight of him was off you. Getting as much distance as you can. He reaction confirmed it for you.
"I don't want to disappear" you admit, your eyes tearing up. Your family would never recover. Especially your brother.
He gets up with you, closing the space you created and taking your face into his hands despite your struggle against him.
"And you won't, okay. I never even knew Lucy-grey".
He was going to find whoever told you about her and string them up.
He could see the panic in your eyes, and he wanted to stamp it out.
"It's just a district rumor" he consoles.
The look in his eyes told you the truth.
"No it ain't".
You pull free from him, grabbing you basket as he stood frozen.
"i owe you an apple". You try and move past him, unable to spend any more time in his presence but he grabs your arm and flings you back into the macadamia tree.
You gasp as you make impact. It was a beautiful sound to Coriolanus's ears. He would have enjoyed it if he hadn't been so angry.
"Who do you think you are walking away from me?" his hands reach your throat applying pressure. It wasn't enough to cut your air supply completely off but it was enough to make it difficult to breathe.
You struggle underneath him, trying to push him off.
"I am Commander Snow, you are district scum. You think i am going to let district scum treat me this way?"
His hold tightens as he shakes you a little bit.
"Are you mad? bringing up lucy-grey. mocking the death of my mother."
this was not his sweet girl that plagued his mind.
"Get off me!" you scream at him with all the breath you had left.
His hand comes down. One-two-three times across your face. Tears fill your eyes from the stinging sensation but he doesn't relent.
This was the man who ruled district 12. He wouldn't have to make you disappear he could just leave your body were it laid.
Your hand reaches out, touching his neck and it stilled him from his rage.
"Stop" you beg, "I am sorry. I didn't mean to".
You feel his fingers loosen from your neck, and you take gasps of air while you can.
"I am sorry" you say again and his hands rest on your collar bone rather then your neck.
He lifts one hand up stoking your cheek,
"That bruise will never heal if you keep this up".
"I know". You wrap your hands around his wrist. He seems receptive to your touch.
Keeping his hands on your collar bone he rests his forehead on you.
You needed to get away from him. His temper flared so quickly, you were sure to make a mistake that would lead to his hands reaching for your neck again.
If codling kept him kind then you were going to lay it on thick until you were back to safety.
You rub his back like he was a child, while your other arm laid across his shoulders.
He presses further into you, moving his hands so there wrapped around your waist.
It looked like a lovers embrace but you felt like a mouse in the mouth of a snake.
Commander Snow was a mummy's boy, you learnt. It seemed logical that he was trying to replace the hole she left.
"Can you walk me home?" you ask. The walk home was nearly 15 minutes but you knew of you tried to leave without him again, his anger would flare back up.
You feel his nose rubbing your skin as he nods but he doesn't move.
"come on" You urge pushing against him. He straightens, heaving off you and picking up the basket you dropped and the duffle bag he threw.
He held out his hand to you, and you take it without hesitation.
You walk behind the houses to avoid being seen together. He leads and you trail slowly behind him.
Your eyes drop with tears from the pain of your cheek. He only notices when you snuffle.
It halts him in his tracks. He turns to you, wiggling his hand free and wiping away your tears.
"Hey, I am not angry anymore" he consoles.
You nod your head, taking his hand back in yours and coaxing him forward again. You were almost home. Just a few more meters.
Night had just begin to overtake the sky as you saw your house come into view. You let go of Coriolanus hand and press yourself against a neighbors house as man covered in coal returns from work.
You had expected that he would leave you at the gate but he continues past it, staying just behind you as you reach the steps of your house.
"Thank you for walking me home, Commander". You reach for your basket but he keeps it out of your grip.
"I'll bring it in side for you".
You freeze at his words. The last thing you want is for him to enter your home were he would be given free reign to do what he wanted behind closed doors. At least out in the open you had a chance of a good Samaritan coming to your aid.
But you couldn't tell him that.
You nod instead. Unlocking your door you turn to him.
"Could you check the mail for me?"
His hand touches your elbow as he turns, "Of course".
You wait for him to open the empty mail box at the end of your house before you rush inside. Locking the door behind you. You double check the windows on the side, ensuring they are well secured.
He heard the door slam and turned back up the drive. He tries the door nob to see it locked. If he was upset he didn't show it, keeping his face emotionless.
He walks to the window where you stood, eyeing you through the glass.
"vanessa lives by the lake. House 1-02" He begins to eat the de-shelled macadamias that you planned to have for dinner.
"she's very pretty and less troublesome then me. You'll like her".
He smiles a tight smile, no longer looking at you he turns, tipping your basket as he walks back to the gate. You would pick the nuts up later for dinner.
You felt as if you won watching him walk away. You bested him today.
But he didn't want Vanessa, he wanted you.
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No one was willing to have their clothes washed by you. He must have figured out your clients, and scared them into submission.
With the loss of income, you were forced to use your savings that were fleeting fast with the rising prices.
The macadamia tree was no more. He had cut it down to a stump the next day. You only had a small basket left to last you.
Your mother was depressed by the isolation of the community. She rarely left the house, unable to beg for a job any longer.
You tired to lift her spirt by using the last of your flour to make her a small cupcake. You surprised her with it after dinner.
She hadn't even taken a bite before the sound of a van pulling up was heard. You both froze waiting for what was next.
Peacekeepers knocked down the door, coming in full force in a single file.
One grabs you and pushes you against the wall while the others tear apart your house. You feel his hands upon you as he searches for valuables upon your body.
Your mother is subjected to the same treatment by another.
A tight hold on your neck kept you from turning but you could hear the house being turned over. Crashing sounds could be heard from every direction. Smashes from things being broken, sounds of cheering as they found something valuable.
One had taken your mums silver necklace that was gifted by your dad just before he died. She had beg the Peacekeeper to leave it but you knew their orders were to reek havoc.
Breaking up the sound of looting was a drill. You could see out of the corner of your eye that a peacekeeper was taking your door.
You yelled but it was drowned out by the sound.
Once it was off its hinges, the peacekeepers released you and your mum, beginning to return to their truck with the door and your valuables.
You rush to your bedroom, falling to your knees seeing that the loose floor board panels that you hid your savings under was opened.
You and your mum were officially destitute.
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The open door way let the cold air and bugs in. You had put up a old blanket but it did little.
It also didn't offer you any protection from unwanted visitors.
Coriolanus walked right past the blanket into your home. You shoot up from the table. Standing in front of the hallway to block him from going any further into your home.
"what are you doing here"
"I came to see if you had changed your mind about apologizing. I thought coming to the compound might have been a little scary for you".
He takes a step forward coming across to you. His head turns as he examines the damage his peacekeepers did.
"i want my door back" you demanded.
"I want my apology". He continues to you
"an apology for what? look at my house". He backs you into the wall
"an apology for treating me so cruelly".
"get out" you demanded.
"Are you sure you want to do this? It doesn't have to be this way".
"get out of my house" you repeat.
He places a hand on the wall next to you, leaning in. You feel his hand on caressing your cheek.
"you showed me the other day what a sweet girl you can be. Must i wring it from you?".
You think about shouting for your mother. She took to lying down in her bed to starve off the cold. But you worried for her safety if you did.
His stoking hand stopped, bracing itself against the side of your face.
He leans his head closer, his lips brushing yours. You knew what was coming next, and tried to move your head out of the line of attack.
He takes a stronger hold on your chin to keep you in place, and kisses you with the same hunger as the night against the wall.
He comes back for more before he had fully pull apart his lips from yours.
'Commander Snow". Your mother voice broke his kiss, and he turns to see her in the living room.
"Ma'am" he greets.
He doesn't move from you, unashamed as your mother glares down at him.
"What an honor it is to have you in our home" She pulls out a chair at the kitchen table for him. One of three that didn't break. "Can i offer you some water".
"No thank you, Ma'am. I just came to check on your daughter".
"As you can see, she's fine. Thank you, Sir". Your mother walks to the door way, holding up the blanket, " If anything changes I will be sure to let you know. So there's no need to come back down. We would hate to keep you from your important duties".
Commander Snow scoffs at the women. She was a bad influence on you.
He turns back to you and places a quick, deep kiss on your lips before following his directions to the door.
"No trouble at all. I'll be back to ensure the safety of you both" he pins your mother under his stare as he spoke, "District 12 is a dangerous place".
"Good night, Commander" your mother voice wavers.
"Ma'am" he nods in her direction and disappears behind the sheet.
Your mother rushes to you once he goes, pulling you into her arms. You were too frozen to hug back.
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You knew your mother was going to pay for her interference.
But as peacekeepers invaded your house once more and dragged her down the road. You had no idea what awaited her.
You shout at them to get off her. Hitting and pulling the Peacekeeper that had her.
People come out from their houses at the noise. Watching as the women is pulled to the town center with her daughter carrying on behind her.
You feel arms secure you to a chest and you turn expecting to see Coriolanus giving you an out only to find a faceless peacekeeper.
You beg him to let your mother go but he continues silently, pushing you along.
You watch as they lock her on the whipping post.
"Commander Snow" you yell out for the only man who could stop this but he was no where to be found, "Commander Snow".
You scream as the whip came down upon your mother.
The cries of your mother will forever be engrained in your brain. You stood helpless as you watched her be whipped unconscious. Only then was she unlocked from the post and the peacekeepers moved the crowd on.
You rushed to her as the Peacekeeper released you. You cradled her head in your lap. it was you who should have been whipped. You wished you could have taken it for her. But he knew the only way to hurt you was to hurt the people you loved.
Your friend, Lydia saw the ordeal and helped you get your mother back to the house. You didn't have anything that could help her. The best you could do was clean the blood with water which caused her to wake from the pain and put her to bed.
"it's my fault, Lydia" you cry reaching out to hold her but she retreats from you.
"I am so sorry. I can't be seen with you". she rushes back to the entry way, "I shouldn't have even helped with your mother".
You fall to your knees as you watch her leave. You were utterly alone.
Your mother is bed ridden from the pain. Unable to eat or sleep. Two nights later, you receive a letter from him. In it was two small bottles of morphling.
I have what you need. Come see me
-C
The note read.
You rush to your mother giving her the small bottle. It worked instantly to relieve her pain. You stroke her head as she sleeps.
You remember what your boss has said; men love the chase but hate the catch.
Perhaps if you let him take what he wanted it would mark the end of this torture. You wouldn't be the first women to loose your virginity to a peacekeeper. the consequences weren't worth the effort in keeping it.
Your pride lumped itself in your throat, and you forced yourself to swallow it.
The next morning you gave your mother her breakfast and second dose of morphling before rushing over to your bosses house. You knew she was the only one who would see you.
She doesn't allow you in but greets you on the front porch.
"Have you come to your senses?" she asks.
"He whipped my mother"
"I heard. What do you plan to do about it?".
"The only thing I can" your voice was low and soft but she heard you.
"What do you need?"
"Two cups of sugar and a cup of flour".
She goes back inside and returns with your request. You could feel her neighbors staring out at you from their windows.
She comes down to the steps to where you stood and you take the whole pouches of ingredients.
"Thank you", Your boss was not known for being generous.
"When he is done, come round and i'll pour you a drink".
You nod your head unable to form a thought.
"Oh and Y/N, relax. It will hurt less the less you fight it".
She offers a comforting hand on your back, but you shake it off quickly to return home.
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You make a batch of brownies with the ingredients.
You give a small patch to your mother and box the rest up in your basket.
You had showered and prepared yourself. Putting on your nicest dress, a soft blue one that ties into a bow in middle of your back. You borrow your mother worn black high heels, and brush your hair a hundred times.
You feel your pride bubble back in your throat as you reach the compound. You have to push it back down to give the guarding peacekeeper your name.
He repeats it into his communicator and the gate swings open.
You follow the guard to the well known building to see Coriolanus waiting at the bottom step.
He dismisses the Peacekeeper as he takes your basket from you and places a hand on your back.
"Thank you for seeing me, Commander". You talk to him as he leads you to his office.
"I was going to visit tonight. Is everything ok?"
You stare at him. He was so detached from his actions.
"I wanted to apologize for my behavior".
You reach his large oak doors, which he opens for you.
"i am glad to hear it" he follows you in.
"Are these for me?" he asks looking through your basket.
"yes'' you answer.
He pulls out one of the chairs for you to sit in, choosing to lean against the desk as he eats the brownie.
"These are good" he praises, taking another bite.
"I used the macadamias".
He reaches into the basket and offers you one. You decline it.
"I don't think i could ever eat another one. It took a hundred just to keep me semi full".
He nods in understanding, putting it back. He leans forward over you as he speaks.
"one time during the war, I ate a whole jar of paste just to stop the pain in my stomach".
"that must have been awful".
he feels his heart lurch at her words. Finally sympathy. How he longed for it. For someone to care about his suffering.
But he tried to remain nonchalant. Not wanting her to think he was weak.
He shrugs his shoulders, "it was a long time ago".
He brushes his hand together, clasping them shut on his lap.
"So your apology. Lets hear it".
You thought you already had done it with the brownies but he wanted you to grovel some more.
That pesky pride bounces in your chest. But no, you wouldn't let it interfere. Your mother needed the morphling not only for the pain relief but to warn off infection.
"Commander Snow I-"
"Coriolanus" He interrupts.
"Coriolanus" you start again, "I don't know what came over me".
You don't look him in the eyes, keeping your eyes on his shiny shoes. You can't. But you can feel him looking at you.
"My actions are not reflective of the respect I hold for the capital".
The flex of his shoe tells you that he was unpleased with you apology.
"Or you". Yes, the shoe pointed back down. He wanted the focus on him.
"If you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I would never repeat my actions again. You would have my undivided loyalty for your kindness".
He stands up going to his desk chair and folding his hands on top. You eyes rise to watch him. You half expect him to pick up the phone and call a peacekeeper in.
"If you are after my forgiveness you have it. But if you are after my services there are no longer free".
You press your legs together and repeat your mantra; men love the chase but hate the catch.
It was time to be caught. You rise from your chair to stand in front of him. He angles his chair to face you. His legs brush against yours.
"My mother needs morphling". Would it be hint enough.
It seemed to be as he places his hand on your hip.
"And what do you need?". He tugs you down with his hold on your hip and you land awkwardly between his legs. You hold yourself up on the arm of his chair.
"Morphling," you answer. You face was inches away from his. The closest you've ever been without his hands wrapped around your neck.
"Maybe to not have to eat macadamias again?"
His smile throws you off guard. You find yourself dazzled by his straight white teeth poking out behind his plump lips.
"A new dress perhaps?". His hand goes to its favorite place on the side of your face and you can feel his thumb moving back and forth.
"Morphling" you repeat and it earns a laugh from him.
He loved that your needs came second to everyone else's. To his.
"Okay, morphling," he laughs, "What are you willing to trade for morphling? It's not easy to come by".
"Anything". This was it. You would loose you virgnity on the floor of the Commanders office for a case of morphling.
"hm" he muses. He picks up your right hand from the arm of the chair and wraps it around his neck. It throws you off balance.
"How about dinner?". You look at him. Maybe the floor didn't suit a man of his stature. Too animalistic.
"Where?". Did he want to go to a backroom of the hob?
"Your place".
"Tonight?". You had nothing to cook.
"Tomorrow". You still doubted your ability to find something. You doubt your boss would extend her kindness anymore, and all your friends had deserted you until it all blew over.
"do you like macadamias?". You think you still had a handful left. Did it matter. He wasn't truly coming to eat.
"They taste like paste in my mouth", he leans forward and presses a button asking someone to bring in the box.
"I'll be there around 6:30. Keep your mother in the backroom. I don't think she likes me very much".
"She can't even get out of bed" you admit.
He reaches into his draw, pulling out two small bottles of morphling.
"These won't help that but will ease the pain".
You take them fast. "Thank you".
"They aren't free. You owe me".
You jump as you hear the door open. Getting off him, just in time for a women in grey to enter with a small box. Coriolanus remains in a relaxed position in his chair.
"Commander" she greets as she places the box on the table and walks away. You peer into the box to see a small lot of vegetables, a bag of apples, two pears and a small bundle of meat wrapped up in parchment.
"For dinner tomorrow night".
He gets up from his chair taking the box with him, and directs you to the door with a hand on your shoulder.
"Now as much as I have loved seeing you. I have to get to a meeting, and you have to get home".
He leads you back through the building and down the steps to were peacekeepers were loading up into their van for night patrolling.
You buck against him as he pushes you to the van. You felt safer making your own way home.
They salute him, halting their process.
"14 Cherry lane", he nods in your direction. A young peacekeeper nods back.
He places the box on the floor of the van so he had two hands to lift you up. You protest telling him you could get home yourself but you were grabbed by a series of hands and placed on the bench
The men stood, hanging on to the material of the roof to avoid sitting down next to you. You felt safer at least knowing that they were too sacred of Coriolanus to touch you.
The leader of the group, dressed in smarter uniform comes to Coriolanus and confirms it will be done with a salute. Coriolanus pays him no mind, handing the box back up to you.
Two Peacekeepers lock the gate in and the van takes off. Coriolanus watches it go, and you watch him get smaller and smaller as you pass the boundary out of the compound.
The van ride is bumpy and silent. The men look out for protentional danger and you look out for familiar landmarks to track how far you were off.
You see a large red sign that marks the beginning of your neighborhood.
"wait, just here, please" the sound of the van would have the neighborhood looking out the window, and after tonight the judgemental looks of your negibours would be too much to bear.
The driver pulls over and the same peacekeepers unlock the gate for you. As soon as you jump out the van takes back off and your grateful for the darkness that covers you.
You walk back in your uncomfortable high heals. They snag every rock as you walk, and your ankle twists so many times you loose count.
Tomorrow night he would come, and it would all be over.
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The next morning Peacekeepers come and reinstall your door. It was a welcomes surprised that earnt a few head nods from your community. It was a mark of the end. Things were returning to normal.
The new door even allowed you to trade the two pears for some pastry and 2 eggs. People were no longer afraid to do business with you.
You spend the rest of the day baking an apple pie for desert, tending to your mother who could now eat and bathe without pain, and tiding up the house for your visitor tonight.
You hopped he would bring more morphling. Your mother woke screaming in pain as a bird entered the house without the door and landed on her back. You had to give her the second bottle to ease her. But it left her dry for tonight.
Extra food would be nice too. The box only really fed a meal for two, and he had expected you to prepare dinner for him tonight with it.
You had thought about feeding your mother first and leaving a plate for him. But knew it would upset him. Dinner involved two people eating together. Instead you would only take small bites until he finished his meal and give the rest to you mother once he leaves.
You wouldn't be able to eat much with the anxiety in your belly anyway. But you assured yourself it would be fine.
He would come and take. And tomorrow morning you would go to work, and then your mothers work to earn both wages. With that and a tightened budget you could afford black market morphling, until that too was just a bad memory.
5 o'clock comes and you busy yourself with cooking and cleaning. When that was finished you dressed yourself back in your best dress and mothers shoes. Your feet cried as the shoes pressed down on the sores they made.
You stare at the clock until it hits 6:30. he didn't appear out of thin air. You wait at the table still.
It hits 6:31 and you think maybe he changed his mind. But a hard knock at the door tells you he hadn't.
You don't keep him waiting. he was an impatient man, and you also didn't want people to see him on your porch.
You yank open the door to see him standing tall in his official uniform and another small box in his hands. His smell hit you instantly. It was fresh and masculine. It was the first time you didn't hold your breathe around him, and his smell invades your nose.
Checking behind him for a peacekeeper van, you found none. Did he walk here, you wondered. But there wasn't a drop of sweat on him. It was unlikely.
"Hello" He greets.
You step back to let him in. He juggles the box in one hand while the other closes the door behind him.
'Hi" you return half-heartedly.
He offers you the box and you take it to the kitchen. He follows you like a lost dog, never allowing more then an inch between you as you walk.
'Dinner's ready. If you're hungry". You look through the box digging for the morphling, but disappointment fills you as you fail to find it.
"Starving" he responds.
He turns you towards him by your hips and smashes his lips down upon yours. he is a needy kisser, trapping your bottom lip between his teeth to stop you from moving before returning to your top lip to restart the kiss.
He pulls way breathless.
'For the morphling, yesterday" He justifies with a peck to your cheek.
What about the morphling, today, you wanted to ask but you weren't sure how he would respond to the question.
Instead you tell him to take a seat at the table and you would bring it out to him.
He sits as he is told. You set two places across from each other. One with their back to the wall leaving the other to face back from the door. Coriolanus takes a seat at the one facing the door. It allowed him to watch you in the kitchen as you plate the food.
He drags the other place mat across the table and seats it next to his. Traditional face to face dinning would not do tonight.
You come over with the plates, noticing the new arrangement. You go with it. Tonight would be about what he wanted.
"It smells amazing. Thank you". He praises.
You smile a tight smile at him. Unable to form words. Your mother would wake soon in a great deal of pain.
he watches you take small bites of your food while he demolishes his.
Your feet ache under the table, the shoes pressing hard into you. You slip the backs off, letting your heels rest on top.
The air carried a awkward silence. He was eating his food while eyeing you. You could tell he was trying to figure out why you chose to spend ten minutes eating a single potato. He knew how hungry you must be.
You needed to keep him focused on himself.
"I didn't hear a van. Did you walk?". You ask. You push your food to the side to make it look like there was an empty space on your plate.
"I parked it in the woods behind. I heard you asked to be dropped off before your stop last night. Figured you didn't want the attention".
"Thank you" you say earnestly.
"You know" he places some stake into his mouth, "people are going to know about us. Most already do".
Us. There was no us. It was commander Snow and a district girl. Entirely separate.
"you're my girl. People should know it".
Your eyes shoot up to his. No. he was going to catch and release.
"the people here-" you start.
"If some one gives you a hard time, you write their name on a piece of paper for me".
You would never do that. You felt your anger flare up and you stomp it down. The door was closed and your mother was injured. No one would come to your aid if you did something stupid.
"Okay?" He presses.
You nod your head in tune to your mothers crying.
Your head snaps back to the bedroom, and then back to Snow.
he made no offer of morphling, as he ate. You wondered how he could stomach it hearing another person cry out.
"Commander Snow".
You were going to ask, saying no wasn't the worse thing he could do but you were desperate.
"Coriolanus. You can call me Coriolanus in private". He wipes his mouth from his dinner with a handkerchief.
You couldn't call him Coriolanus. It was too familiar. So you just continued your sentence.
"I am very grateful for the food that you brought".
Your sentence filled his eyes with light.
"But" they darken at your ongoing, "I was wondering about the morphling that was promised".
"You think you deserve morphling? I told you favor has to be earnt".
Your mother cries out again, calling out for you.
"How would I earn morphling?" here it was his proposition.
"You could try being nicer to me".
You hands ball in frustration. Just say what you want, you begged, You couldn't be the one to offer it.
"I will. I will be nicer, but could I have the morphling now and then we can go to my bedroom?".
"Why would we do that?"
"Please!" you grunt, lunching onto his arm.
"You think I want to fuck you?".
You mother screams for you to come to her and you dig your nails into his uniform.
'You don't?" what the hell was this all for.
"Not until I get back to the Capital".
You lurch up, holding out you hand.
"Coriolanus please"
"who's to say I brought it?".
You knew he did.
''You're welcome to check". He grins, holding out his arms for a pat down.
A sob from your mother had your hands roaming his uniform. Pressing over his arms, and chest for small pockets that he could hide them in.
You pressed against nothing but soft flesh. You go to his uniform belt that was tight around his waist, checking the small compartments built in. He had taken off his hand gun but his handcuffs were still linked over his belt.
He takes hold of the back of your neck tugging you closer so he could brush his teeth against your throat. He kissed and bit as he pleases while you continued to search.
You shake you head at him, trying to keep you throat from his mouth but his hold tightens, going up to your hair.
You pat along his torso. The Commander peacekeeper uniform was intricate there could be a secret compartment anywhere.
When you get to his pant pocket you feel the shape of the small bottle. You dig into his pocket and he catches your wrist.
You tug back but don't make it far. You beg him to release you. You had found the bottle. You had won.
Your mother calls out for you again and he does release you. Letting you go to her.
You run down the hallway to her bedroom. falling to your knees beside her and uncapping the bottle.
"here" you bring it up to her lips but she doesn't take it.
"is he here" .The darkness of the room covers bites on your neck but she still eyes them like she can see them.
"No, mama. No one is here. Drink".
You tilt the bottle to her lips and she sucks it down hungrily. Her eyes droop as she rests her head back on her pillow. You stoke her hair until they close fully.
You couldn't let you emotions get the better of you. You just had to grin and bare it until he leaves. But now he has left you confused. He told you he didn't want to sleep with you until he's back in the Capital.
You thought you knew what tonight was going to hold but now everything is up in the air. Still, at least you knew he had plans to return to the Capital. You wouldn't have to endure him forever.
He could continue the morphling supply. That would save you having to consort with rebels. If you could avoid making him mad.
With your mother asleep you return to the living room where Coriolanus had started to eat your mothers dinner. If she won out in your attention, she lost out on dinner.
You clear you throat, "Thank you".
He looked pissed in his chair, and you were eager to return him to a good mood.
You clear the empty dinner plates from the table,
"Would you like some desert? I baked apple pie just for you".
He liked being center of attention and you would give him special treatment tonight.
He notices your pained walk to the kitchen. The way your knee slightly buckled as you put weight on your left foot. When you reached for the powered sugar in the top shelf, your foot rose from the heal and he could see the redness from where it rubbed.
You pat the sugar on top of the slice of the apple pie and bring it back over to him at a slow pace.
You place it in front of him. You didn't cut a piece for yourself, your throat hurt from bites.
Still he looked unhappy and you worried as he pushed the bowl away from him, and took you into his arm.
With his chair scraped back he positioned you in front of him, shoving you into a sitting position on top of the table.
His hands trailed down to your shoes, and he took them off, rubbing your sore heals. He knew what it was like to wear shoes that were too small.
He sat rubbing your sore feet, you slightly pull away as his strong hands dug into separated skin.
"What about your desert?" You asked. You had planned to try and send him on his way as soon as he ate it.
You strong finger latched themselves around your ankle and threw it over his shoulder. His other hand pushed your dress up around your hips.
You push his shoulders back as his head came between you thighs.
"you said you wouldn't" you squabble.
"I said I wouldn't fuck you. I didn't say we couldn't do other fun things".
His fingers find their way to your panties and he pulls them off, pocketing them.
"Lay down" he demanded, "i have some more morphling if you're good".
You lay flat against your dinner table and squeeze your eyes shut.
he takes both your knees and hooks them over his broad shoulder, pulling you closer to his mouth.
Your body jolts as he lays his lips across your center. Sucking as if it were a juicy stone fruit. You could feel your own wetness and you felt ashamed. But as your boss had said, there were uglier men out there.
As his first lick lands your hand shot out to his head. If he still had his curls you would have grabbed them but you clutched at air.
He laps and sucks hungrily as you wiggle beneath him. You bite back soft moans. This had never been done to you before, and you had no idea you could feel so good.
You could feel him as he spelt out his name with his tongue. C-the O had your hips bucking-R-I- another hard O and a sound crawled its way from your throat- L-A-N-U- he sucked as he finished the S.
You felt his teeth graze your pearl, giving you a second of pain before he went down and started to poke at your entrance.
He was slow and lazy as he ate you out, keeping your thighs in a strong hold. It felt your stomach form knots as he went up and down. Never letting you fully build from one spot.
You could hear him slurping and moaning as he worked. You tried your best to keep quiet. Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing it felt good.
But as you came undone, the orgasm that ripples through you demanded to be known. You hand claws at your own face unsure of what to do while the other clamped down on Coriolanus hand on your thighs.
He added his thumb from his spare hand to your pearl and massaged you through your organism. The over stimulation was too much and you kicked at him to release you.
"Just feel it" he ordered.
You did and it left you spent on table.
"Good girl. You took it well". He tugged you down from the table to the floor beneath him where you sunk.
He undid he belt and you guessed it was his turn.
"Hold out your tongue". You did as he asked poking out your tongue to him.
He freed himself just enough to release his throbbing cock. It stood upright begging for attention. You thought it was going to look scarier, but it could have been your own arousal that soften the member.
He grips your chin, pulling down so your mouth was open as he slowly stokes himself over you.
"Kiss it" he challenged.
You press a soft kiss to his tip and he shudders. Was this all it took for the great commander Snow to crumble.
"Take it" he breathed, "Just the tip".
You take just the first part into your mouth, and he reaches down for your hand. You give it to him and he places it around his cock. He moves your hand for you back and forth.
"Get off" he barks but keeps his hand pressed tightly around yours. You take his mouth off him, and watch as he pumps himself with your hand.
You watch him with his head thrown back and eyes closed. You could see his quick breathes passing through his tummy.
He looks down, seemingly irritated by you, he grabs your hair and yanks it back.
"Open" was the only word he could get out.
You resume your position of sticking your tongue out with your mouth open and he goes back to his state of pleasure.
"That's it, baby" he moans, "like that. Yeah".
His hand over yours quickens and you can see him clutching the arm of the chair.
"Fuck, baby" he says as his milk spills out of him.
The salty taste hits your tongue making you instantly close your mouth. It goes all over the floor and your best dress. Your mothers terrible shoes were safe through.
With his claw still in the back of your head, he maneuvers you out of the way as he bends down and scoops some of his cum off the floor.
He pushes it back into your mouth, through your teeth.
"taste me, baby".
He lets you get up after his fingers are clean. You both straighten out your dress wear. He kicks your chair out for you and you take it. Slumping into it, feeling sick.
He reaches for his pie, taking a bite. He groans in appreciation of its taste. Digging his spoon back for more, he lift it to you.
You stare at him dazed before you eat from his spoon, wanting nothing more then to get the taste of him out of your mouth.
He leaves later on with a kiss goodnight and two more bottles of morphling. Enough to last you until tomorrow night. Where you expected to see him and earn some more.
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taglist; @namelesslosers @urfavnoirette
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schmergo · 19 days
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Today I learned a fact that kinda blew my mind, and I'm almost astonished I didn't know this before as someone whose chief interests include zoo animals, the U.S. Presidency, true crime, and D.C. history. What an opener, right? How could those topics possibly combine?
Well, buckle up and get ready to hear how negligent National Zoo leadership potentially could have killed a US President or started a local epidemic. Spoiler alert: They didn't. But only because luck was in their favor.
First, the part that I DID already know. In 2004, Lucy Spelman stepped down as the director of the National Zoo after a spate of controversial zoo incidents, including a string of unfortunate (and often preventable) animal deaths, misleading and missing zoo records, and other signs of negligence. The AZA even "tabled" renewing the National Zoo's accreditation for a year until they made some significant improvements. Spelman was also a vet and some of the cases she was accused of bungling happened at her own hands, not just under her supervision. It was a major disgrace for a zoo that was meant to represent the nation's capital.
I was in elementary school during these fraught years and I remember devouring articles about this in the newspaper, riveted with shock and dismay. Some of the deaths were just bad luck, but others were obviously negligent. The most infamous case was two red pandas killed by rat poison shallowly buried in their enclosures as a slapdash solution to the zoo's pest problem. A young zebra died of starvation and hypothermia after Spelman ordered the zebras' feed be cut in half, an orangutan was euthanized due to a recurrence of cancer that didn't exist (she actually had salmonella), a lion died after being administered over twice the usual amount of anesthetic, and more. I remember the names and details of these animals from when I first read these cases 20 years ago. But the one I'm talking about today is that of Nancy the elephant.
Nancy was a 46-year-old African elephant whose health had been steadily declining for several years. She suffered from a bone infection in her foot that seriously affected her mobility and quality of life. She had lost a lot of weight, she was fatigued, she even lay down at times. Nobody could be blamed for deciding to euthanize the obviously ill animal.
But they could be blamed for what was discovered in the necropsy after she was euthanized. While she did indeed have a diseased foot, the bone infection was only "moderate." Why, then, was she so obviously unwell? Her lungs had been destroyed by the effects of untreated tuberculosis. It was the tuberculosis, not the sore foot, that most contributed to her decline in health.
Here’s the scary part: nobody knows how long she'd had it because she hadn't been tested for tuberculosis, a known concern for zoo elephants, in TWO YEARS. All this despite the fact that it's MANDATORY for all zoo elephants to receive a tuberculosis test once per year-- and in fact, it was a National Zoo staff member who pushed for that reform in the first place. And the elephant was on Prednisone for her foot issues, which zoo staff noted in her records made her more vulnerable to illnesses like TB. In fact, none of the zoo's elephants had been tested recently, which meant any of them, including one who was pregnant, may have had tuberculosis, too.
There are documented cases of humans catching tuberculosis from elephants. Now, Nancy the elephant had bovine tuberculosis, which seems to be less contagious to humans and which elephants haven't so far spread to humans... BUT it has spread to humans from black rhinos, a fairly close relative, so it seems likely that elephants COULD spread it. It can also take a while for TB for incubate (and can also be latent without symptoms), especially for elephants, so the elephants OR keepers who were around Nancy were at serious risk for TB.
NOW HERE IS THE PART THAT I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT UNTIL TODAY:
Spelman actively tried to COVER UP the situation, potentially putting many more people at risk. The elephant house was closed to zoo guests, but they were only told it was for "renovations." (The actual renovations, incidentally, were to improve ventilation so that illness would be less likely to spread.)
A BBC news crew that came to film the elephants was asked to keep a healthy distance from the elephants for their emotional health and the crew's safety-- the explanation given was that the elephants' group dynamics had been thrown off by Nancy's death. Spelman instructed zoo staff not to mention the TB situation to the BBC crew and, if asked why Nancy died, they were to respond that it was for multiple reasons and that the official test results weren't all back yet.
And here's the most shocking part of all, the part that made me GASP out loud. Spelman still personally gave some special VIP behind-the-scenes tours of the elephant house during the months that the elephant house was closed, a time when the remaining elephant inhabitants could potentially still develop active TB.
One VIP who received an elephant house tour was PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON and five family members!!!!
BILL. CLINTON. THE GOSHDARN PRESIDENT.
While zoo staff says that the tour was deliberately distanced and nobody got close to an elephant, there are photos of Bill Clinton's nephew about a foot away from an elephant's trunk. You know, their nose. The part they can spread disease with. So, uh, definitely in the danger zone there.
Hillary Clinton's brother, Tony Rodham, was on the tour and he said that nobody in the party was warned about TB risk or asked if they had any medical conditions that might (a. make them susceptible to communicable disease, or (b. be contagious to the elephants. This is especially egregious because according to zoo guidelines, all behind-the-scenes tour participants MUST be asked these questions-- not just when there's a very real possibility of a TB outbreak at the zoo.
Fortunately, none of the zoo's other elephants OR keepers ever tested positive for tuberculosis. But it was certainly a close call! And imagine what would have happened if a US President caught TB from a close encounter with an elephant thanks to poorly managed zoo staff.
Presidents meet a lot of people. In fact, this zoo visit happened only 2 weeks before the inauguration of President George W. Bush, which Clinton attended. He very well could have started a TB outbreak there. Heck, TWO US Presidents could have been infected!
Now THAT is something I will be thinking about for a long time!
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cure-icy-writes · 4 months
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i think the reason i like the murderbot diaries so much is because the dystopia feels very real and relevant in a way that no other "oppressive government fearmongering" has, and because murderbot is such a compelling protagonist.
this is an autistic person who is struggling and angry and terrible at having emotions. it lives in a capitalist hellscape where people are disposable. it's traumatized as hell, but it's easier to consider itself disposable than confront the terrifying reality of personhood.
(it confronts the terrifying reality of personhood.)
it likes escaping into fiction. it has a fucked up relationship with pain and its own body. and it reads so strongly as disability coding to me, how it doesn't see the bullets or the chunks missing as horror but merely annoyance. it's fundamentally different from those around it, in ways that they struggle to understand. (they make a distinct effort to understand.)
this is an autistic person who is not like you, who suffered in ways that you cannot understand, in ways that would horrify you. this is just another tuesday.
this world is not kind. there is legal fine text that destroys lives and there is hereditary indenture and contract labor where you're forced to still pay for preventative medical care out of your paycheck and no one says slavery, but everyone knows what it means.
these people are kind. they will watch your favorite shows to help understand you, they will forge documents to give abandoned people their freedom, they will allow you to be near them because they like you. these people are proof that there's love in the world, and you can come out of your shell if you are ready to see yourself as a person.
science fiction is one of the genres that has the potential to be amazing, but is quite often just plain shitty to disabled people. and, to people in general? "oooooo look how scary it is, people have all their basic needs fulfilled by technology!" when technological advances are what gave housewives the time they needed to actually get jobs and put together the feminist movements, when this new technology that the narrative regards with such disdain could provide disabled people with newfound mobility and independence.
it speaks of a truly dismal view of humanity, the belief that without strict labor under capitalism to keep us all in line, we would just fall prey to our vices. and I think it also speaks to a loathing of one's self, to think that humans are not capable of self regulation, to think that pain and suffering and punishment are somehow moral and virtuous. that humans need to be punished constantly, that suffering will bring them closer to something like god, to something like goodness.
but murderbot doesn't do that. murderbot says, "i have seen humans do horrible awful stupid things. they can't be trusted with weapons or security and they shoot me all the time and it sucks. but they make stories and art. the people in the entertainment media gave me the tools to contextualize my own emotions. they are my coworkers. i don't care about them. i got shot in the back protecting them but i didn't care about them. okay fine maybe i care a little. they're annoying. i'll eviscerate anyone who hurts them. they're mine."
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kneptoon · 1 month
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This might get some peeps mad but like. Is it really worth the effort figuring out the niche subtypes and cocktails of disorders you have? Is it really worth the struggle to find the right collection of clinical labels to fit yourself into? is it really worth the effort to know if some specific symptoms of yours are indicative of autism or adhd or ptsd or ocd or anxiety or whatever? Or is it just that you are a nuanced, neurodiverse person existing under capitalism, a system which has inherently traumatized and disabled you?
It’s great if you’ve found pride or community in your diagnosis, but always remember: diagnosis was not made for that.
It was never made for community or identity labels. It was made to categorize, to treat, to suppress, to segregate, to control, and to MAKE MONEY. Psychiatry is and forever has been an industry that exists under capitalism and colonialism, and is deeply rooted in eugenics, racism, queerphobia, and misogyny.
NEVER FORGET THAT. REMEMBER THAT ALWAYS.
The next time you start chatting about incredibly technical clinical terms and pop-psychology words, REMEMBER the autistic children who were abused, gaslighted, and programmed using those same words.
The next time you take the findings of a clinical research paper as gospel, REMEMBER the women and the black/indigenous people of color who were wrongfully incarcerated because of that research.
The next time you feel thankful for your psych meds, REMEMBER the survivors of psych prisons who have been permanently disabled from being overmedicated against their will, and the pharmaceutical companies who profited off of their suffering.
Capitalism WANTS to disable you. It WANTS you to be mentally ill, to think there’s something wrong with yourself. So that it can force productivity out of you, and make money off of you.
Like, I totally understand the researching and collecting of all the little mental illnesses itches that little autistic part of our brains. But in the long run, all it does is perpetuate the over-pathologizing of mental health. It does nothing for Mad liberation or abolishing the MH industrial complex.
I’m not saying to never use words ever, or to never seek treatment. Because clearly, the MH industry helps many. BUT IT ALSO HARMS MANY. IT KILLS MANY AND IT ERASES MANY.
NEVER FORGET THAT.
REMEMBER IT.
REMEMBER IT ALWAYS.
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radabeast · 2 months
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Why Aren't The Hornsent NPCs Named? An Essay On The Challenge for Compassion
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So easy answer. Neither our pal in the Miquella Brigade nor the Grandam actually tell their names to us. Case closed!
No no no but more like, why didn't the DEVELOPERS choose to let us know them by name? A whole chunk of The Point is that the hornsent are people too, right? So why would we not even get to know our two (mostly just one, even, as you're not likely to even find grandam) hornsent ambassadors' actual names?
Fromsoft did something similar to this in Armored Core 6 just recently. That game is PLAINLY all about the horrors of capitalism, colonization and war, albeit almost all of your time is spent not with the resistance, but with the companies trying to tear the planet apart for fuel. Your protag's motivations aside, the RLF, Rubicon Liberation Front, are hardly given any narrative ambassadors to you at all; your Rubiconian partner pleads with your on some occasions, but otherwise the emphasis is elsewhere. Their liaison with their organization isn't even named. You don't even get to MEET most of their ranks until the secret third route, and even then, half the time that's just when you're fighting against said individuals as opponents. So...
Fromsoft is unique in that they often don't spoon-feed you "this is right" and "this is wrong". By no means do they ever seem to say colonization and slaughter is correct, and in fact the very crux of the plot is in grappling with the justifications. BUT, you are placed directly in the role of the oppressors' side. All around you are people you will grow to respect, and fight alongside, and they will also help you tear down this planet if you choose that route. You do, very much so, have to FIGHT and CHOOSE to aid the people of Rubicon, even if it hurts. Even if it means fighting, abandoning and even killing the people who have been by your side. And I think that's much more realistic to many real-life experiences than just "starting out on the right side".
Back to Elden RIng and the hornsent, though. Grandam is found only under very specific circumstances, within a single location, and within a small time window of the game. You step out of that window? You lose her completely, including the lore she had, and the means with which to understand better the hornsent. Why? Why would Fromsoft even implement her, if it's that hard to even reach her words?
And again, I think it's... realistic. You, the Tarnished, are a human along Marika's progeny, barring your own personal character lore. You are a human and you are part of the race that had slaughtered the hornsent. Of COURSE the hornsent themselves aren't going to trust you, spoonfeed you WHY you should care about them. Shouldn't you care already about the pain and suffering of others? Why WOULDN'T you? If it's that hard to come to grips with the horrors Your Kind caused, then maybe you're no better.
And I think. The story wants to challenge you like that, past gameplay, past feeding you their intent directly. You have to SEEK OUT the answers and THINK. Is it truly justified to slaughter a whole race? Was this truly right? Should I think of these individuals as people, or as monsters?
Hornsent (NPC) is also a very interesting choice. Not only is he the only hornsent you're actually likely to find and speak with, but he actively hates your guts. Soon as the charm is off, even, he's back on his path of vengeance. He says time and time again, he's nothing more than this mission to Get Back on those responsible. Wouldn't the devs want to make you weep for someone far more pitiable, far more palatable?
Well, if you bother paying attention to him enough, and aid the man in his questline, you'll understand then that he's someone who lost his whole family to Messmer's crusades. Mother, wife, child, in addition of course to the innumerable others slaughtered. Is that not enough to want all-consuming vengeance? Wouldn't YOU want people dead because of that? Regardless, even, of whether or not he was even a perpetrator of the original jar slaughters (and I've seen enough feasible evidence against that)... Is he not pitiable enough for that alone?
To you, he is just a Hornsent. To he himself, the man is a Hornsent, likely a title he wears both in defiance, as well as the only scrap of identity he has left. His people were killed because they were Hornsent. His family was killed because they were Hornsent. Would you even ever see him as anything else? Would it matter, even, if he HIMSELF has nothing else?
And, clearly, if you've been seeing anything anywhere in the fan discussions: this challenge to Think is lost on many people. Some people, somewhat understandably, take these aspects as Fromsoft caring little about the hornsent at all, and claiming them as The Original Evils within their own story. Others don't even bother to take anything not fed to them, and claim that the slaughter of hornsent was duly justified, and that this is undeniably supported within the game. But even barring the consistent themes of dichotomies, dualities, and the cycles of abuse ever-present throughout the game-- yeah, I'd say a good deal of reflection could and should be found in the self, first. Who are YOU when challenged for this compassion, first?
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coryosbaby · 1 year
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Camera Ready ✧・゚: Finnick Odair x reader
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Summary: Neither of you really care if anyone sees.
Warning: exhibitism, voyeurism, p n v, riding, they fuck in the arena while it’s being televised, spit kink, size kink, creampie, switch ! Finnick, switch! Reader
“You know you could walk a little slower, sweetness. ”
Finnick’s voice blares out teasingly into the morning air as he trails behind you. Your hair sticks to your forehead in sweaty strands, your body on high alert as you make sure to scope out any remaining candidates that aren’t on your side. Which isn’t much, considering you have Katniss and the others, but it’s still a good idea to be cautious. To your relief you had found Finnick in the woods last night. And as much of a victor as you are, the dark makes you nervous. So he had allowed you to sleep beside him, curled up with his arms wrapped around you. It wasn’t intentional, of course, but when he sleeps it seems that he tends to get handsy. And when the warmth of his body was beside you, you couldn’t resist letting him throw you into his embrace.
“Maybe you could walk a little faster, pretty boy.”
He chuckles at the nickname, his pace finally catching up with you so you can see the cocky smile on his face.
“You think I’m pretty?”
Your friendship is like this, a lot. Flirtation, playful banter, and a few hook ups every now and then since the two of you met at a capital event one year. And now, even when you’re supposed to be enemies, you’re working together. It’s just a connection, an order that makes you both flow freely with each other and get the things you desire.
You ignore the way Finnick’s hands ignite flames on your skin and the way his smile makes your heart flourish. You also ignore the way you feel the constant need to protect him and keep him alive. In this game, you can’t have anything serious.
“Mm..” you reply. “Sometimes.”
Your hands wrap around his neck as you pull him to you. He smiles, that pretty crooked smile, and presses a kiss to your temple.
And then, you hear a snap.
You and Finnick are both on high alert then, and turning around you’re both faced with a victor. Not an ally, it seems, as she’s pointing a knife at the both of you.
It doesn’t take long before she’s dead, but it’s still a bother to you. You don’t like murdering these people, and you’ve never liked the whole idea or subject of the hunger games. The first time you had won, but at what cost when they’ve sent you right back in?
It’s kill or be killed. And as the woman’s blood splatters on your face, you sense that familiar feeling of rage from the first time you killed creeping back into your psyche. That rage that loathes the capital, loathes those stupid fucking districts as they fall into the ground. And your knife doesn’t stop the assault on her as you make sure she’s dead. It’s better, this way, to overdo it so they don’t have to suffer. Finnick is surprised at your strength and skill, he always has been, but he finds it best not to bring it to attention.
As you two walk away, the woods begins to clear. And then you both watch as you see the Arena come into view, dark and blood soaked.
“Great,” you mutter. “More to show the people.”
It’s obvious that everything is being recorded, but this is the most clear spot. As you sit down on one of the rock formations, your lean back to watch the clouds and the orange sunset. Finnick sits beside you, his neck and chest splattered with blood. And after a moment, you begin to speak.
“I don’t like doing this.” You state. “It’s all bullshit. It’s psychotic.”
Finnick nods in agreement, his jaw clenched as he watches the stains on your shirt.
“We should give them a show.” He says. “Do something that we know they can’t get away from.”
And that’s when you get the idea.
You look at him, a mere glance. You’re both probably sweaty and disgusting, but even now Finnick looks absolutely god like. You know he’s chiseled, under that gray suit. And you know what big thing lies underneath the crotch of his underwear.
You smile, your hand coming to rest gently on his muscled thigh. His eyebrows furrow in confusion, as he watches your palm begin to move up more.
“What are you doing?” He asks. He doesn’t seem completely against the idea, though. Because then that cocky smirk you know so good and well is plastered onto his face, his hands finding there way to the exposed skin of your shoulder. He leans over and kisses your collarbone, gently. You huff, your lips moving to graze the spot below his ear.
“If they want them a show, let’s give them a show.”
Seeming to be on the same page, Finnick crashes his lips into yours in a bruising kiss.
Meanwhile, at the capital, the monitors in the room begin to awkwardly watch as you push Finnick down onto the rocky arm. His back hits the floor with a grunt, and then he’s watching as you sit up and unzip the back of your suit. He groans when your tits are revealed to them, full and sitting in all their glory. He brings his hands up and gropes one in his hand, feels the soft skin and your pert nipples being brought to attention. You tut when he tries to move his fingers down to your pussy.
“No, Finn.” You coo. Your nails scratch his addam’s apple, and he flushes as you begin to climb on top of him. “No touching there until I say.”
He groans when you press down against his growing bulge.
“You know if we don’t hurry we could die, right?” He huffs.
“I don’t want to hear excuses, baby. We both know fucking me again is the last thing you want to do before you go.”
He can’t deny that, and as you demand that he lift himself up and unzip his suit down to his thighs, he follows your directions with desperation. You watch as you pull his briefs down below his balls, watch as his girthy length springs to full attention. He moans when your hand connects to his skin, and begins to jerk him off with vigor. You can feel a tension in the air, the feeling of being watched extremely prominent. And it shouldn’t get you so wet, but it does. So you bring yourself to eye level with Finnick’s cock, and spit down on him, quick to shove his tip into the warm confines of your mouth. He makes a deep sound in his throat, and you move away teasingly when his hips try and move his cock farther into your throat.
“C’mon, sugar.” He says, overwhelmed. “Don’t be mean.”
“Why don’t you just shut up and do what I say, Odair?” You demand. You slap his cock, and he groans, legs beginning to tremble at the pain and pleasure mixing. “Besides, I’m not letting you use my mouth right now. I just needed to get you wet.”
He whines in protest when you pull away from him. But then you’re pushing your suit down, past your calfs and onto the ground.
So help you, if you’re going to die it’s going to be like this.
When your pussy is revealed to him, Finnick’s cock jumps and he sits up to guide you to his lap. He’s warm, his cock drooling and messy. You don’t hesitate to rub his tip against your clit, your thighs holding his lean body down.
“Please, y/n, fuck!” Finnick stutters, the feeling of your wet silky cunt making him go crazy.
You smile as you finally guide him to your entrance, and sink down. His cock fills you up to impossible levels, his balls pressed flush against you when he finally bottoms out. His hands go to your waist, and when you bounce on him, his eyes roll back and he cries out like a bitch in heat.
“Jesus Christ.. you feel so fuckin’ good, angel. Love your pussy so much.”
“I know, sweet boy.” You moan when he grazes a soft spot inside you. “It f-feels good, doesn’t it? My little pussy feel good around that big cock?”
“God, yes. Cmon, ride me harder, momma. I know you can.”
And when you begin to fuck him faster, he brings his hands down to your ass, and begins bucking up into you with a feral pace. Your arousal makes him keen, makes his brain turn to mush the moment your scent hits him. You look so beautiful, so flushed and perfect, and something snaps inside of Finnick, then. His fingers spread your cheeks apart, and his voice is raw.
“Bet you like this, huh? The whole capital watching you get fuckin’ destroyed by my big cock? Hm?”
You gasp at his words, your fingers clawing at his chest.
“Finn, baby, fuck!”
“You love it, don’t you?”
No reply. Finnick slaps your ass harshly, and you yelp at the sting. His hands grab your throat in a harsh grip.
“Answer me!” He demands. You cry out, trying to nod the best you can, and then uttering out a “Yes! Yes sir!” As his large hands cut off your air supply.
“That’s my fuckin girl.” He replies. His fingers rub your clit, leaving your throat as you gasp for air and your orgasm washes over you. Your pussy gushes all over him, soaking his cock and balls and the rock below the both of you, and without warning Finnick is grabbing your hips with his large hands and turning you over so you’re beneath him. It’s quick, and you’re incredibly surprised. You wrap your legs around him as he begins to pummel you, now with more leverage and strength, and his cock feels like it’s destroying you from the inside out. You don’t complain, though. And when Finnick’s hips begin stuttering, you know he’s about to cum.
“C’mon, baby, cum inside me, cum in my pussy!”
Your words spur him on, makes him leave bruising marks on your wrists as he holds them above your head and begins to cum in thick, messy ropes. Your walls practically milk him of everything he’s got, and when he’s done you can feel the stickiness of his seed dripping off his cock and onto your thighs.
He buries his face in your neck, then. And with a small laugh, he pulls himself out and begins to lick his cum out of you. Your middle finger comes up into the air as he does it. A sign, as the victor from district 4 eats your pussy. A big ‘fuck you’ to the capital.
The cameramen and people at home watch in shock and awe. There’s a debate of whether or not they should turn it off, and after a while everyone becomes too distracted by the images on screen to worry about it. The next day, none of the other tributes look at you both the same.
Because at that time, they had been watching, too.
@emsbookcase
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thelordfool · 7 months
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HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!
Long story short: I'm unemployed and will not, unlike what I originally thought, qualify for unemployment benefits.
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Please read the readmore for additional context on why I'm unemployed. This post is basically a continuation/update/redo of this post. I'm suffering a sickness with no medicine the past week, applied for almost 100 jobs the last two weeks, am disabled/queer/nonbinary/tired of ebegging. I'm also in the negatives in my bank account because my car payment came out, so I need to get that covered.
pp/vm/ca
$250/$1151.51
i need at least $511.51 of this by the first. please spread if you're financially unable to help, every person this reaches helps! here's the breakdown of the costs: $640 - car payment + late fees $380 - rent $131.51 - negative amount in bank currently
Oh hey thanks for stopping by to read this annoying tale of woe and being angry at capitalism. Prepare for wall of text.
I once had two jobs. The first job, at a chain restaurant, was a bit of a clique-y experience where I was working my damndest to be the best bartender they ever had. I still have all the cocktails memorized. However, I continually faced discrimination in the form of severe misgendering, no matter how often I corrected them. I was also set up for failure. Usually, when someone gets hired for a position, there's some amount of training to be done, no matter how experienced they are, right? I was going in nearly entirely inexperienced into the role. I knew how to make cocktails, sure, and was and still am very good with people and selling. But I was trained for two days. Two. Then, on my first night alone (a Friday), I was watched by one of the bigwigs at corporate who saw every little flub and failure. This caused a demotion-ish. I was demoted to barback but was allowed the same privileges. Until their next visit. That upset the hell out of me - I was well trained by that point and could do it all, with one hand tied behind my back. I digress. It was about 2 months following my demotion when i finally walked out. A new bartender had been hired and she thought I was being a total creep by looking at a ticket that had just come in. She stormed off to report me to the manager who, even after hearing my side where I had asked her if there was anything on the ticket that I could grab, said that I "needed to communicate better," and "you should be learning from her," and "you're a grown man, you should know better." I don't think I need to explain why that was so upsetting.
But I didn't report them, because I just wanted to be done with it. I was also working another bartending job, and everythign was literally perfect other than the hours, honestly. I loved the product the distillery made, I loved the people I worked with, and most of all: I had my own regulars. Last month, they hired a new hospitality director, who announced there would be some restructuring, including getting rid of servers while also making a full dinner menu to serve alongside drinks. I said nothing of it, despite my disagreements, and she assured us all that no one would lose their jobs, but just moved into different roles. We all kinda grumbled about it, and I told her that under no circumstances would I work back of house. Easy peasy. Till it wasn't, and I came home to a voicemail while on break with my partner that I'd been let go due to the restructuring. So much for no one losing their jobs, right? I hadn't been the only victim of this. I have my suspicions as to why the new hospitality director did these things, but I've no energy to throw around conspiracies. All I know is that I was shafted by both of these places and I'm tired of being broke. I'm applying, still going to fight, and... sigh.
tl;dr (why did you click the readmore?): i left a job due to discrimination and lost another due to company restructuring and i'm tired and sad and aaaaa.
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brekkie-e · 1 year
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I need more people talking about how the ideal thematic party is Wyll, Karlach, and Astarion. All three bound in the shackles of servitude in some capacity, all three in some stage of being sold to hell.
Karlach and Astarion being two sides of the same coin. Years of servitude, physical and emotional torment, and rage under their belt. Nothing but the burning desire for revenge and the desperate ache to live flowing through their veins. They're both drunk on freedom and life. They get the other person, despite responding to their new found freedom in completely opposite ways. You can see it in their banter though. They get it. There is not a lot of judgement between them. If Karlach needs to laugh hysterically because she's here on the material plane, walking in the sun, and just can't believe it? Astarion can't even bring himself to judge.
But Wyll? Wyll is careening towards joining them in their suffering. He's got one foot in the door. He already knows a little of the pain that comes with being on the end of a leash, but he has only just begun to fully feel the consequences he is destined to face. The thing about Wyll though is he's desperate to save everyone but himself. He's quick to back Karlach and Astarion in their fights against their tormentors. But when it comes down to it he's fairly passive in his quest to free himself of Mizzora. Atleast in my experience, it fell to Tav to capitalize on oppurtunities to out think her. It fell to Tav to push him to TRY. That's not a critique on Wyll, but when you put that thematically next to Karlach and Astarion who are near feral in their desperation for freedom- it is really interesting. And it's easy to imagine the two of them becoming determined to ensure he doesn't fall victim to the same fates they did. He's trying to save them, while they're trying to save him.
Or, countering my own point, imagine how frustrating that would be for Karlach and Astarion. Knowing that this great guy, this larger than life hero who always has a silly pun and a dashing smile on hand- doesn’t seem to understand the gravity of his situation. He’s still smiling. He’s still soldiering on as though nothing is wrong. He’s not taking the initiative to escape it, and he’s not coming up with any possible solution. He’s content to keep spending his time helping people and putting them before his own needs. Now, Wyll isn’t necessarily as fine as he seems. He’s by no means ignorant of or unafraid of the fate that awaits him. But he puts on a good front, with that big old Charisma modifier of his. And I imagine that could easily drive Astarion and Karlach mad.
That’s without going in to the fact that Astarion has an infernal pact carved on his back, and will be sold to hell as well if he doesn’t find a solution. And he hits the ground running the moment he finds out. He is not about to let that happen, and goes to great lengths to find out how to fix the situation. So there is a contrast with Astarion and Wyll not only in their reaction to their own tormenter’s, but with their goal of evading hell.
Because of how each of these guys’ situation is so closely related to their own, I think many moments would arise of stepping on each other’s toes while processing their trauma. Karlach and Astarion know better than most what Wyll is going to go through if he doesn’t take this seriously, and he makes PUNS? If they could go back to the day before their lives changed forever, they would do everything possible to make sure it never happened. They didn’t get a warning. He has his written on paper. In glowing ink. There could be so many incredible arguments between these three because personality wise- more often than not it would be Karlach and Wyll agreeing. Which would make the moments Karlach ends up siding with Astarion because Wyll made light of something at the wrong time all the more poignant. Karlach and Astarion agreeing on something and being a united front trying to drag Wyll to action would be such a powerful scene.
It becomes even more fun when you consider their personalities. Wyll and Karlach being the indisputably kindest characters of the group, but being so narratively tied to the one who is morally bankrupt. When someone is altruistically good and helps people for no reason Astarion usually gets frustrated with the fact they don’t understand how cruel the world is. He doesn’t do that with Karlach. He can’t do that with Karlach. Because she’s him. She’s the part of him who rages and screams and let’s every swear word fly and embraces how much hurt she is carrying and how entirely unfair it is. He sees that in her and I think some part of him is validated by it. So when she is unbearably kind and refuses to believe that there’s no good left in the world, who is he to tell her she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She has just as much baggage to back her up as he does. He just walks off and let’s her have it in most of the banter I’ve heard. The flip side, he validates her own need for vengeance and doesn’t let her feel like a bad person for enjoying taking her anger out. She deserves it after everything that’s been taken from her.
Wyll is a similar situation. He is a constant example of the goodness of humanity. A reminder that it is more important to remain true to oneself even at the expense of power or comfort. He stays true to himself, and is forced to abandon his home. He stays true to himself, and is forced to endure a form that is foreign to him. He stays true to himself, and forsakes the safety of the material plane. In the process, he sacrifices the powers of his pact. He willingly gives up the position of Grand Duke so that he can be the tool for good that he thinks the world needs. Of course, a million points can also be made about all that he’s willing to sacrifice if you go the route of maintaining his pact- but I’m working off of what I personally saw play out, which was destroy the pact but save the Grand Duke.
Wyll’s personality playing off Astarion’s selfishness is so interesting. The first things Astarion reaches for in every situation are power and comfort. Silk sheets, a good wine, unholy ascension- whatever the whim of the day is. Being forced into the company of someone who constantly reminds him there is a vastly different approach to life would both be frustrating and eye opening. Especially when that example is backed up by Karlach whom Astarion can’t help but respect and find oddly comforting. Vice versa, as Wyll is an example of selflessness to Astarion, he is an example of selfishness to Wyll. Where Wyll and Karlach drag Astarion kicking and screaming towards recovery, he might have his own soft moments of begging Wyll to put himself first. Just once. Being selfish about your needs does not make you a bad person. A dynamic made even better by Karlach being the background example that being unapologetic about your needs is okay. All of these little elements play off each other so well.
Now how do these guys come through for Karlach? Stability. Which is a word I NEVER thought to use in reference to Astarion before. But I’m serious. Day one of freedom for him? Where is his mind? Completely focused on how to make sure it lasts. How does he secure the situation. How does he make himself safe permanently? He is a self proclaimed ideas man, not much of a planner. And yet, he IS coming up with ideas. He is thinking ahead about the future, and planning to take every chance he can to secure his freedom. Karlach is living in the moment, taking each day as a blessing and not letting fears of the future hold her back. And she deserves that. But it’s good for her to have someone pulling her back to earth and reminding her to do more than live in the moment when it comes to the big things. I’m serious, if they all three put their heads together and worked as a team not only would they be able to accomplish anything- the found family potential is absolutely limitless.
So- long story short. I personally find them to be the most satisfying and interesting party dynamic you can play with. It’s rewarding on a lot of levels, and also has some of the best friendship dialogues in the game. Which I’ve noticed there just isn’t a lot of friend-centric commentary or scenes in the base game, but this party does seem to get more than other’s I’ve worked with. I think that’s a larger issue than just which party build you run with, but I do enjoy that you can get a satisfying found family feel with this crew. Of course, romancing them as eachother also works pretty well too- the dynamics are just as good for that. Personally, I enjoy romancing Astarion and then keeping Karlach and Wyll as besties, but there’s a lot of ways you can run with it.
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