#so I have to make this annoyingly long post
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Do you happen to have that full article from Esquire? Iāve looked for it online but never found a source that didnāt require a subscription.
Charlie Watts: The Esquire Interview
Robin Eggar, Esquire, June 1998
Emotional rescue
I'VE MADE more of a mess of my Toronto hotel room in 30 minutes than Charlie Watts has after three weeks in his suite. At 3pm, Charlie is in casual mode. He is wearing his slippers and watching the climax of The Assassin starring Stallone and Banderas. As he's seen it before, he turns the sound down, but he doesn't turn it off until after the film has finished. That wouldn't be polite to the actors. Politeness is bred into Charlie's bones as sure as the rhythm he keeps.
He places the remote control on the coffee table, precisely six inches from the pile of glossy magazines. "It always goes there," he says, "it goes there every day because that is where I know it will be."
There is a ghetto blaster above the TV. All the CD cases are packed standing to attention. Only the Ben Webster album he has been playing is allowed to lie askew. "I am fastidious," he confirms, "but not as fastidious as Bill Wyman. I like to control my own environment. From that wall to that window, yes, but outside of the door, no."
Where in this precise environment, I ask, is Charlie's sketchbook? For 30 years he has been drawing his hotel rooms. He can tell from looking at these drawings what mood he was in. Those with only a few abstract strokes means he was either "depressed, drunk or in a hurry" while others which are painstakingly exact, every bedknob and duvet elaborately drawn, are the legacy of gigs when he was "bored, unable to sleep or on drugs".
"You know," he says, "some of the beds are the same as they were 20 years ago."
The second bedroom serves as Charlie's dressing-room. The curtains are half drawn so his suits never realise they have left home. They are never unpacked but remain in three travelling wardrobes. Fifteen exquisitely-cut, hand-tailored suits, some single-breasted, some double, each resting on a wooden coat hanger inscribed "Charlie Watts Esq". Three pairs of hand-stitched shoes resting on white tissue paper sparkle in the gloom. I wonder if Charlie polishes them himself. I know he flattens all his own jacket lapels and collars. When arriving at a hotel, he won't go out to dinner until he's put everything away and folded his pyjamas.
"Nobody touches my things," he says. "I don't like people fussing around me."
Respectable
Bette Davis once remarked that if you hang around long enough they make a legend of you. Charlie Watts describes being in the Rolling Stones as six years of playing and 30 years of hanging around. Over the years, I've seen him play in stadia and concert halls with the Stones and in Ronnie Scott's with his Jazz Quintet. He has always been elegant, sophisticated and utterly cool. Cool the way Stonehenge is cool.
I've heard the stories. I know he's eccentric but it's that dotty, self-deprecating, traditional, English eccentricity that only money and good breeding or taste allow. Now I'm in a hotel room with him and he's wearing slippers and talking about sketching phones. What if he's a hi-hat short of a full kit?
Then I remember he's in the Rolling Stones and it all makes sense again. How does a man maintain self and centre when he inhabits a world that has been out of his control for virtually all his adult life? To escape the treacherous shifting sands of the present, Charlie Watts has rooted himself firmly in the past. He has always known who he wants to be and stuck with it. He dresses bespoke in a combination of English country gentleman and Thirties' Hollywood. He maintains the laconic speech patterns of the Fifties bebopper, Soho phrasing overlaid on North London, wandering around and off the point, all short phrases and repetitions. Sometimes it is hard to tell if he is joking because he takes doing interviews very seriously ā but his enthusiasms, once breached, flood the room.
He was always old in spirit, and now that age has finally caught up with Charlie, it suits him. Like all the Stones, he is small in stature. His movements are precise where his speech is not. The glacier of time has transformed his impassive face from lugubrious to compelling. Once smooth, it is now a place of nooks and crannies, fissures and ridges. Once engaged, his dark-blue eyes will sparkle from inside deep caves. His silver hair, thinning on top, is swept back. When he smiles he only uses half an upper lip, but it is enough.
He has been a Rolling Stone for 35 years. Brian Jones is long dead, Mick Taylor long gone, Bill Wyman retired five years. Ronnie Wood's been the new boy for 22 years. Mick and Keith still write the songs, do the interviews and squabble. Charlie keeps the time and the peace.
"After 30 years at the top of the tree, the chemistry of the Rolling Stones in one room is pretty explosive," director Julien Temple told me during a video shoot in 1993. "If you are looking after one ego, you may be bruising another. Charlie to me is an incredible person; he's like the Solomon of the Rolling Stones. If there's a disagreement or a decision to be made, he's always the highest authority on the mountain."
Street fighting man
Everyone who works for the Stones adores Charlie. "Be nice to him," they tell me, "he's so gentle." Which is true. He's a gentleman ā but just because he has sublimated his ego inside the Stones doesn't mean he has no pride. Keith Richards, who has himself been on the receiving end of Charlie's anger, has a telling anecdote.
"Charlie biffed Mick once in Holland. Mick had a couple of drinks and he can get a bit silly. So, about five in the morning, he calls up Charlie and says, 'Is my drummer there?' There was this ominous silence at the other end of the phone and I'm like, 'Mick, I don't think that was a very clever thing to say.' Twenty minutes later, Charlie knocks on my door, Savile Row suit, tie, polished brogues and says to Mick, 'Don't ever call me your drummer.' Smack! And there's this long table with a platter of smoked salmon on it and the window's open and there's a canal outside and Mick falls on the platter and starts sliding down the table towards the open window."
Charlie had never wanted to join the band full time, preferring the security of his day job as a designer. Anyway, they were an r'n'b band and he was a jazz man. He still worries about not being good enough. Yet his sparse, precise drumming is as essential to the Stones sound as Jagger's voice and Richards's five-string guitar riffs.
"It wouldn't be the same band if Charlie wasn't in it," says Mick Jagger. "I've never played with a drummer quite like him. He really swings, that's the bottom of it. He started as a jazz drummer; rock'n'roll was a dirty word to him."
It still is.
"Even when I was young, I always felt it was a silly world because I was used to another way of looking at music," says Charlie. "It is a silly teenage world for grown people to be in making their living at ā ie me and you. I don't mean to knock it because it is a very enjoyable life for me. I make a very lucrative living at it ā albeit bloody hard work, I might add ā but I don't make the sort of money people think I make because I don't write songs.
"Being in the Stones is a sycophantic thing, that's why I never really pay attention to it," he continues. "People say, 'Oh, you are a great drummer' and after the 10th number one single, you start to think, 'Maybe they're right.' But you only have to put on a record of yourself and then put on a record by someone you love to know the difference. Every time I see Elvin Jones play it levels me.
"The things my wife and I admire have nothing to do with the Rolling Stones or the pop world. Even in the Sixties and Seventies, I was never in that world. I was in the band ā I hope ā but it has always been a job to me. They happened to be my friends and I happened to very much enjoy doing it, but it was something I did with them. Then I go home and it's different. I can divorce the two things very easily. I am a Gemini. Home to me is Stravinsky and Picasso, Miles and Fred Astaire, and out there is all this other crap going on, groupies and all that rubbish."
He must have been a serious child.
"No, I'm not serious even now, really," he says, lip unmoving. "I just have this miserable image." However, when he was a kid Christmas dinner could get a mite confusing. There were five Charlies round the dinner table ā father, grandfather, uncle, cousin and him. "We all had nicknames," he says. What was his?
"Boy."
Some girls
He grew up in post-blitz London in a prefab house in Wembley. He remembers sleeping in his grandma's house just behind King's Cross where his grandfather ran a taxi depot. His father delivered parcels for the railway on a horse and cart, then he got a Scammell and finally a Bedford. Off duty, dad was a dapper dresser "in that London villain-fringe type of crowd; very smart always, clean socks, whatever colour went with whatever, never flashy".
At 12, he heard Uncle Charlie playing Earl Bostick's 'Flamingo'. So he rolled a newspaper up, painted it orange and tried to keep time. His neighbour, David Green, shared his love for jazz and played bass. They swapped Duke Ellington and Gerry Mulligan records and jammed together. "David went on to play with those guys," says Charlie with an awe he otherwise reserves for Jim Laker and Shane Warne. "Imagine, my next-door neighbour played with Ben Webster. He plays with me when I do my jazz thing."
Working as a graphic designer in a Regent Street art studio introduced him to Stravinsky. In Soho he hung out with the Flamingo jazz crowd, wearing long, button-down-collar shirts and seersucker jackets. Nobody ever asked him to dance because he was too busy watching the drummer. He was drumming for Alexis Korner when the bass player came in with Shirley Shepherd, a friend from art college. According to Bill Wyman's diaries, Charlie's never looked at another woman since.
"My wife has kept me very sane," he says. "I'd have probably ended up a drug addict nutter in Soho if I had been single all the way through. It's very difficult to keep a romance alive for 35 years. The only good side about touring is the absence makes you realise how much you miss someone."
He does not talk about Shirley or Seraphina or Charlotte. He talks about "my wife", "my daughter", "my granddaughter" as if they were absolutes, as if there could be no others. He and Keith are the old-fashioned ones, the Romantic Stones.
Jumping Jack Flash
If his wife and home provide his haven from the business of music, it is his wardrobe that provides him with pure pleasure. For the past 30 years, his style has remained constant. His only lapse of taste came when he grew a droopy Zapata moustache in 1966, though Seventies fashions remain a sore point.
"Keith looked fantastic in those days. Mick looked all right, but then Mick dresses up. If Keith puts something on, he lives in it. He hates new things, like I do. He looked fantastic with the great, long scarf round him. It looked silly on me, but I had to wear it for photo sessions. I used to borrow his Afghani belts with bloody great buckles hanging off them. I'd hold them and they looked fantastic. I put them on and I looked daft."
"Clothes to me are a passion." Charlie corrects himself: "No, a love that can border on a passion. It is soothing, very much so. At home, I love having a wardrobe. It is a great source of pleasure to look in a cupboard and see five different types of overcoat. I feel them.
"I met my tailor through Mick. Most people I meet are through Mick. He gets invited to everything ā that's how I met Jim Laker. He took me along to see Tommy Nutter at his shop in his Savile Row. Roy and Joseph, the two boys who worked with him, kept his shop on when he went up the road.
"It is a whole art form. I love it. The choosing of the cloth; whether you have two buttons or three. I love discussing it, the fitting ā ah, the finished thing. It is marvellous how someone can do that out of a roll of cloth."
Chittleborough & Morgan have been making Charlie's suits for over 30 years. In addition, he has clothes made by Terry Haste at Hackett's in Exeter, Schiaperelli in Paris and David Sienzi on Madison Avenue. His major gripe with Savile Row is that "they make the thing up like a piece of sculpture, whereas the Eyeties cut with no padding at all and the material just drops".
His shoes are made by Cleverley in Royal Arcade, W1 ("All my life I have had a pair of penny loafers. I've had them made for me, I've bought the cheapest, I've had them all"); his riding boots by Foster & Son of Jermyn Street, SW1. At his home Devon, he wears plus-fours, which he considers "the best thing for the country".
"I should have been born in 1810," muses Charlie. "I live like a Victorian landowner. I get up, decide what to wear, have breakfast, and stroll about like the lord of the manor. I walk around the stud and look at the horses. We have a horse farm. It's my wife's, really ā it's her passion. We've had horses ever since we were married but I've never ridden. I do have the most wonderful outfits to go riding in: britches and three pairs of boots. I have some lovely old carriages.
"The problem about what I do is that I play the drums or I do nothing. It's embarrassing. I'm either away from home and nobody's seen me for weeks or else I'm at home and under everybody's feet. I'm often told to go out and do something by my wife.
"I just acquired a very rare picture of Billie Holiday," says Charlie. "I collect things, you know. My wife goes mad. We land up with lots of things because I can't resist them. I never know what to do with them once I buy them. I hate to chuck anything away."
Charlie is a compulsive collector and hoarder. He has a wall lined with records: so many, he often can't decide which to play. In the same breath he regrets having swapped specific records, right down to the American tax stamp on the label, for drum bits back in the Fifties. He is an expert on Georgian silver, the American Civil War, Nelson memorabilia, rare books, antique firearms, 18th-century erotic literature and jazz photographs. He buys antique dolls for Shirley.
Charlie loves cricket ā an obsession he shares with Jagger. But while the singer still has to try and hit every ball for six, in his youth Charlie was a wily spin bowler. Mick is forever faxing him Test scores he's plucked off the Internet while Charlie, rooted in the past, collects memorabilia with the advice of his friend, former Wisden editor David Trigg. He recently purchased Don Bradman's old blazer for Ā£3,600 and a football signed by the Tottenham double team of 1960 (a surprising purchase for a former Wolves supporter).
He buys things for the same reason he wears Savile Row suits: he considers them beautiful. He owns a 1937 Lagonda Rapide but can't drive. "Mad, isn't it?" He smiles like a kid caught in some dastardly mischief. "I'd always wanted a Lagonda because of the name. I saw it at Coys [in Kensington] and fell in love."
His three-century-old country estate is home to a menagerie of dogs, a few cats and 150 Arabian horses. "My wife's herd of mares is the best in the world. Outside of Poland we have one of best studs in Europe," he says proudly. "When I see a Polish Arabian mare she is just amazing ā like Rita Hayworth ā but to my wife she is much more beautiful than any human. It's very sad because one day they just won't be there. A Rembrandt will always be there but the horses will just be a memory. To my wife, that makes them more endearing. It is life. I have problems with that sometimes. It's too close, too hard.ā
"The thing about animals is that they do need looking after. My wife doesn't see that as a problem; I'm not as generous in my life. Must come from all my hangers on."
Nineteenth nervous breakdown
Why have so many of the musicians he admires felt the need to destroy themselves with booze or drugs? He thinks it might be the creative muse but more likely it's boredom.
"Most of the time on the road," sighs Charlie, "I have nothing to do. I could ask someone to lift me out of bed, carry me to the show and, as long as I was well, fit and played well enough for two hours, I could be carried back to bed, get up in three days for the next one and no one would mind. Your whole life is two hours on stage which is a very short thing, a big burst and then you can go away. Left in that nothing area."
Which brings us neatly on to the second most uncool thing (after that moustache) Charlie ever did. Sure, he used to take a bit of speed, toke on the odd jazz cigarette and drink Scotch and Coke before going on stage, but in the mid-Eighties he started on smack. It was a strange time to take up a habit. On the surface the Rolling Stones appeared to be secure ā not just financially, but personally. Keith was clean (for Keith) and married with small children; Jagger had a solo career and young children; Bill Wyman was sleeping with a young child (Mandy Smith); Charlie was gigging with his Big Band, playing the music he loved.
"I went completely berserk," he says. "When we were recording the Dirty Work album, I was mad on drink and drugs. I became a completely different person, not a nice one, it didn't sit right with me. I was trying to be somebody else ā either Humphrey Bogart or Charlie Parker ā but it didn't work. I'm not very good on drink. I'm a sloppy drunk. I wake up in the morning and it's a big thing with me. The next day would be horrendous and then there were the hangovers. I can't drink and I can't take drugs.
"It was one of the worst periods in my life. It was a crisis for me and it was in my midlife. I nearly lost my marriage. I got away from my wife spiritually and mentally. We weren't together, even though we were living together. I tried these things I'd never done before, like heroin. You can take heroin and nothing happens, then all of a sudden you're hooked on it. I took speed all the time: I'd live three days and sleep two; live three, sleep two. You don't look too good at the end of that. I felt so ill; I looked like Dracula. It was a minor league thing and I stopped it all myself but it was awful for the family."
Charlie's not prone to introspection, but once he's into a subject he doesn't stop. I have to ask why he felt the need to do it. It was, he recalls, a time of upheaval. In reality, the Stones were at their lowest ebb; Keith and Mick were hardly speaking. Devastated by the death of his father in 1981, Charlie felt rootless. He even wanted to quit the band.
"The worst decision we ever made was returning to England to put my daughter through school," he continues. "That was where it all went wrong. My daughter was very happy where we lived in France. She went through hell at school. It has been a source of regret for me and my wife ever since. When we moved to Devon, I was really bad there and my wife suddenly disappeared. A few months after that, I stopped drinking. It took a few years to get that out of my system. It was the best thing I ever did."
With Keith clean, perhaps it was his turn to play the rock'n'roll suicide. "Keith handles whatever he is, or does, or has been, very well," he concedes. "I could never do that, but I was trying to do that to be like him. The barmy thing is I lived with him so much I almost was, without the drug taking. Drugs are a cry to be recognised or loved or whatever, which we all do ā ordinary people, that is. Musicians tend to think they are different, special. My wife thinks musicians are the most selfish people in the world."
Not fade away
The Chicago crowd is in full cry. In his dressing-room, Charlie Watts, wearing tailored trousers and a zip-up woollen jacket to ward off the late September cold, is ready for the first night of the Stones '97-98 world tour. He is still worried that the staging won't work, that he won't be able to hear, that he'll make mistakes. If everything goes right, he might enjoy it.
"I've played to 600 people; I've played to 60,000 ā and 60,000 is better," he confesses. "Musicians love adulation. It's a drug to a lot of people. I get terribly nervous. I don't know if I'm good. I play with a band, you know."
Charlie prefers to talk about jazz. He saw both Elvin Jones and Max Roach recently. They are both over 70, playing better than ever. "I can imagine retiring," he says. "I say that, but I think I'd get very bored and put on weight. In 15 years time, I'd love to think we'll still be going...It'll be me and Ronnie Wood, probably, but Keith won't let go yet, will he? He'll go on and on...and I don't think Mick could bear to be left out."
Charlie Watts raises an eyebrow as if to dismiss everything. "It's a funny thing, but I still feel out of place in this rock'n'roll world."
Ā© Robin Eggar, 1998
#sorry#I actually only have it through a subscription too#(thank you university library)#so I have to make this annoyingly long post#but itās a great interview#although it makes me really sad in parts#the horses and the drugs and the little comment at the end about his weight#the rolling stones#charlie watts#keith richards#old married band#mick jagger#ronnie wood#shirley watts#interview#ask response#anonymous
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sorryf im being mentally ill about hallucination event right now SO in the LCSyS au, would there be something like it :o? Like after all of it's over or something, how crazy would it be if Jackalope tried to get them all together just to do one last concert?
Never apologize for being mentally ill about Milgram content šš We are all in it together ššI'm combining this answer with a reply to @kikithedeceiver (and spiraling out of control from both)
I've had a lot of ideas about the project being public in LCSyS, but was holding off including it for few reasons ā the audienceās voices would conflict with Es as their own character. Knowing the public was watching would change the way the prisoners acted (even if they thought they were acting natural). Itās a long time that the families would have to deal with the public knowing about their loved oneās almost-crime. I also like the idea of this au ending with the prisoners returning to very normal lives.Ā
Buuuuut it is such a fun idea, and popularity seems an essential part of an actors au. So, Iām not naming this as canon, but hereās a pitch if you liked that idea and wanted to run with it :3
The team doesnāt tell the participants that theyāve been recording/collecting certain material to release. If a translation is left out by accident, the prisoners just assume itās for a foreign team member ā they have no idea how close/far Milgram reaches.Ā
The third trial begins. The prisoners are inside the prison, and on the final stretch of the trials. On the outside, Jackalope contacts families for signatures to release the material publicly. The team thought about censoring names and things, but seeing current fansā investigation skills, they knew it was a matter of time before they put pieces together anyway. This may be super illegal but for the sake of the story Iāll say that family consent is enough lmao.
Some of them are easy to convince to sign off on everything, since it can raise awareness for their loved oneās struggles. Muuās family takes the longest, as it would risk ruining their reputation. (Theyāre only swayed because it truly is a great opportunity to show off Muuās talents for those modeling scouts, and she didnāt actually kill anyone in the end.) Kazuiās family refuses to release his info, but Hinako uses sway with her marital status to sign off instead (I pictured things happening fast enough where she hasnāt gotten an official divorce yet). Hinako still struggles with what he did, but she thinks heās doing something incredibly brave now. Iām not 100% sure whatās going through Amaneās fatherās mind, but if the murder really was in line with the cultās beliefs, maybe he believes that Amane will be be a shining representation of their religion. He wants to show her off as their little golden child.
The experiment is published in its current form: music videos, voice dramas, timeline conversations, interrogation questions, etc. Itās brought to more than just science/psychology circles, though. Jackalope has no shame in marketing it as entertainment, hence the stockholders mentioned. He assures the sociologists that this will be a major breakthrough for them. He tells music labels he's got the new hit thing for them. He leans into the excitement of releases and merchandise in the hopes of gaining attention for the experiment. Needless to say, it works. Even though the audience has no sway over Esā decisions, they are encouraged to make decisions for themselves on what they would judge each prisoner. Thereās the same types of theory/analysis/discourse posts passed around.Ā
When the trials end, the prisoners are released into the world to find theyāre famous. Instead of trudging back to their lives feeling that society hates them, they find tons of adoring fans telling them how much they understand and forgive them. Even if their final verdict was guilty, they have hundreds of voices assuring them that they are loved. That they are not alone. This attention really helps Haruka, Amane, (and maybe Es) who donāt have a good home to go back to. Not only can they reenter society, they are welcomed with open arms. They are looked after and showered in love. Some of the adults realize they want to use this popularity to lead the charge of social change. They create/support projects meant to help people who are facing their struggles.
And of course, thereās the other type of fame as well. Yuno loves answering fanmail and turning her karaoke hobby into a music career. Kazui goes from a life of feeling rejected and disgusting to scrolling through comments upon comments of men oogling him. Mahiru gets offers from fashion magazines and blogs to write up sections about self-love. Amane gets to live out her dream of being a performer, hinted at in her first two mvs. Fuuta is flustered by all the positive attention his appearance/voice is getting. Mikotoā¦ well, I just wish him luck when he opens tiktokā¦
Which brings us to the live event! The prisoners have tried to keep in touch while adjusting to their new lives as almost-murderers-turned-idols. Theyāre amazed at how well-recieved the trial songs were. Those were some of their most personal, shameful secrets, and people relate to them? People love singing them?? People want a concert featuring them??? Jackalope encourages them to get together for one last encore. Some are thrilled with the opportunity, others are still nervous about the whole thing. Some think itās in poor taste, that Jackalope is milking them for entertainment. But with a bit of conversing amongst themselves, they realize they all want a chance to sing like that again, and see each other in one place again. (Itās ironic because in my head Mahiru is the one to convince everyone to come ;--;)Ā
Itās strange putting on the uniforms again. Es is unsure about putting on their guardās cloak. But the minute they stop onstage, theyāre met with wild applause. They can sing their fears and dreams to a huge crowd and see in real time how itās reaching others. They hear the cheers after each song. They hear that itās streamed all over the world. All of them have an absolute blast, and pour their heart and soul into their performances.
#milgram#lights camera sing your sins#thank you both for the comments!#its not the direction i want for the fic but its SUCH a fun direction š#as you can see from the annoyingly long post ive already had a lot of ideas for it asdfsdf#so many of the prisoners struggle with lack of love/attention -- so introducing them to the current fans who with shower them in adoration#always makes me happy to think about#those who feel undesirable see their faces on merch and people who try to mimic them#those who feel unlovable hear their name chanted when they enter the room#and mug i know that technically they could have a concert without everything being public but i tried to keep it accurate to the real event#and yes -- fuuta does put on an eyepatch on a whim halfway through š
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What do you think of figurama figures?? I know theyāre supposed to be cool and big but I think they arenāt painted very wellāa lot of them (the lupin iii one specifically) look kind of dirty? And not in a good way. Have you posted any before?
you mean this one? no i haven't posted any, resin/polystone statue companies usually put a lot of logos on their promo pics which is fair but doesn't look great as a figure post imo.
i get that! i'm generally not a resin/polystone statue person at all so i don't really look at them and i honestly don't love the "look" that most statues have (unsure what it is, they just look different from pvc figs). i do definitely understand their appeal, it's just not for me!
#gonna ramble in the tags cause i don't wanna make this post annoyingly long. so i'll make the tags annoyingly long heehee#reasons why i don't buy statues 1. they're massive i don't have that kinda space 2. they're heavy my detolfs would collapse#3. they're heavy my wallet would collapse (shipping costs....) 4. small pieces often break during shipping based on unboxing vids i've seen#5. they're very expensive 6. the market isn't THAT big so they would be very hard to sell in the future#ok that's all. again this is no hate i really do see the appeal trust me.....i very seriously debated spending ā¬900 on a dabi resin statue#oh also your comment about their paint jobs. i'm unsure tbh like i said i don't love the Statue Look in general so it's kinda hard to tell#i think their shading looks muddy sometimes but also sometimes their colouring looks flat. idk how those coexist but they do#one of the few characters they did whose face i'm very familiar with is black lagoon revy and i don't think they got the face right sorry...#then again no one fucking does. they really never do. but it would've been nice if they did this time#ok that's all <3 sorry for writing an essay#ask#anon#non figure
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uh oh long post incoming
#i would make a separate post so it's half as long but how stupid is it to participate in a discussion from outside the discussion hxsgcy#so i'm not doing that. have fun scrollingā flexing your hand muscles and stuff#does it get too personal? mmm yes but everything can be personal if you practice any amount of self awareness !#bet you're JEALOUS over how annoyingly personal i can get.#alsoā okayā i started typing and then it was typed out and i don't want to do the work of moving it all to a new post š#kata.txt
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super self indulgent tsukkiyama au where Yamaguchi also plays for the Sendai Frogs
heās a wing spiker/outside hitter (he converted somewhere towards the end of second year in high school, to give the club more options) and has been working on his cut shot
he made it on to the team after a walk-on tryout, heās a solid all-rounder with a knockout serve (although the jump float isnāt his only weapon now, because heās been working on his serving for so many years, now he has multiple serves, though his jump float remains the best by a lot)
Yamaguchi played in college and decided to quit after that, to focus on his career and also because he only got one offer from a pro team but it was div3 and super far away (Tsukishima got multiple offers, but picked the Sendai Frogs because it meant he didnāt have to move away from Yamaguchi)
even when he wasnāt playing competitively, Yamaguchi would join Tsukishima on his daily runs and weekly serve practice
at some point, the two of them talked about āmomentsā that hooked them on volleyball and Yamaguchi realized he still wanted to have more of those moments. he got his degree and a job that he could build a career out of, but it didnāt have to be now. he could go back to his career in a few years, he probably couldnāt go back to volleyball in a few years (going with that whole ādo something you wonāt regret in 5 or 10 yearsā message from Takeda-sensei)
ponytail!Yamaguchi (he had to cut it for work but he let it grow back out again and then eventually let Saeko dye part of it during a get together where everyone had a few drinks)
I know canonically heās not this tall, but personally Iām putting Yamaguchi somewhere in the 6ā²2 range because the idea of him being a millimetre or two taller than Kageyama and Akiteru is hilarious (every time he visits home, Akiteru sobs about being the shortest brother)
part of it is his presence, part of it is just because heās always around someone whoās taller, but itās always really funny when Tsukishima steps away for a moment and people realize just how big Yamaguchi is (like when Hinata was comparing Daichi to Kageyama in the second episode, Yamaguchi isnāt as tall, but heās a little broader. he has what Yachi calls ācaptainsā shouldersā)
Tsukishima grew the same way that he blocks: persistently and gradually until heās overwhelming, but Yamaguchi grew off and on in erratic leaps and bounds
in third year at Karasuno, Yamaguchi and Tsukishima started calling each other by their first names, though Yamaguchi still uses Tsukki from time to time (this may or may not have coincided with when they started dating)
when Koganegawa heard Yamaguchi using Tsukkiās first name, he tried to do it too, and almost got decked
(Yamaguchi calling him āKeiā means he doesnāt get all that jealous when other friends use āTsukkiā now)
(he still gets a little jealous)
Kyoutani and Tsukishima actually get along pretty well, to everyoneās surprise. thereās a mutual respect between the two of them over how hard being a part of a team can be, especially since it requires a level of vulnerability that neither are fully comfortable with
they arenāt like. super chummy or anything. they mostly just peacefully coexist, but when theyāre both on top of their game, theyāre 100% in sync and awful to play against because they both enjoy getting under the opponentās skin
the first time Yamaguchi pulled out his ācaptain voiceā around Kyoutani, it rang the same alarm bells in Kyoutaniās head that Oikawaās captain voice did, and Kyoutani has been cautious around him ever since
Kogane is a ray of sunshine who will always talk blocking technique with Tsukki and isnāt afraid to divulge strategies from when he played at Date Tech (he also has Bokuto levels of stamina and Tsukki runs away from practices with him just as often as he sticks around)
(because this is my self-indulgent AU, the Sendai Frogs manage to acquire Goshiki as an outside hitter after they make div1, because I think throwing his personality in with the rest of them would be a hilarious dumpster fire, but also I just love the gremlin)
(the Sendai Frogs gain a lot of popularity in the prefecture from having so many homegrown players)
(honestly my full self-indulgent roster for Sendai Frogs is Koganegawa, Tsukishima, Kyoutani, Goshiki, Kindaichi, Yamaguchi, with Shibayama as Libero (and Nishinoya making a brief one year return to volleyball when their other libero broke his collarbone))
(do I have a whole OC backup roster for this team? yes, yes I do)
locker room/team playlist is just meme music
opponents getting ready to play the Sendai Frogs is just that āhearing Caramelldansen playing in another roomā meme
the team keeps trying to hire Yahaba as an athletic trainer but he keeps declining, even though he does free training with half the roster anyway
the Frogs make div1 shortly after Hinata and Kageyama move to Europe to join a different league. Tsukishima likes to tease them by saying that they were running away from having to face his blocks
Tsukki stuff blocking Bokuto for the first time in a professional match is another one of his āmomentsā
(and, while itās unclear exactly who did it, a gif of that moment appeared on one of Kodzukenās streams and very quickly became both a) viral and b) a tiered emote for his channel)
(it was Akaashi)
(Kuroo was watching said stream during a skype meeting and spit coffee all over himself on camera)
#haikyuu tag#tsukkiyama#yamatsukki#long post under the cut#this is all just self-indulgent headcanon stuff#I have no idea how player contracts work in the JVL so I'm just handwaving it#how do I make the most annoyingly chaotic team? is what I asked myself#and also just the desire to see Yamaguchi and Tsukishima play together more regularly#honestly this is more sendai frogs than tsukkiyama#but they are together in this so I will tag it as such
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Long hair enbies exist, I understand youāre talking more mainstream media and the like where enbies are never really portrayed hardly at all, but the problem isnāt that long hair canāt be enbie/gender neutral. itās that people associate androgyny with nonbinary. Thatās now how it works. I am nonbinary, I have a very good friend whoās nonbinary; I look very much masculine and they look very much feminine. If you ask either of us what the most troublesome aspect of our identity is, itās literally even other LGBT individuals who use the words āandrogynousā andĀ ānonbinaryā interchangeably and practically demand we adhere to their standards of what an enbie needs to look like in order to be respected. I have finally come to terms with how I look, and some days I even think I actually look good; and you know the only reason I often strive to be more androgynous at all? Itās because I just want to be respected, because I am tired of being told IĀ ādonāt look enbieā or that IāmĀ ātoo masculine to passā
Until people understand thatĀ ānonbinaryā orĀ āenbieā doesnāt have to look a certain way this sort of thing is always going to happen. While I donāt know when this post was made, I will say that there are plenty of long haired men and women in media, if you pay attention theyāre out there. Truth is, having a post sayĀ āgive me long haired enbiesā feels like one of those cases of meaning well but accidentally demanding someone fit your desires. I know it was very likely not meant to read that way but as an enbie who has been told how to dress, how to do my hair, how to act, etc. since I had come out as nonbinary itās a situation where my only real comment is this:
You want long haired enbies? Cool, thatās fantastic; do it then. Do it yourself. Be the change. People make enough demands of us as it is. Design your own characters, make it happen. However please never tell me how I need to look or be in order to appease other people.
start normalizing long hair as androgynous. long hair can be gender-neutral too.
#If my comment makes you angry you can reblog it from the source#but boy I feel strongly on this topic#My comment is not meant to be rude or angry in any way#I just want people to understand that as a N/B individual this post really rubs me the wrong way#and like don't get me wrong! I understand the core message behind this#I really do understand the concept they're trying to say here#but it falls kinda flat when you consider that long hair is normalized as being gender neutral#If you're not someone who understands that I'd argue that you're part of the problem perpetuating the idea that it isn't.#When movie stars or musicians or celebrities in the mainstream media can all have long or short hair without it being considered gendered#and you still think ''oh but long hair is for women and short hair is for men'' maybe you're part of the problem#which I don't say to upset you I say that in hopes it might make you realize that this is a lot more normal than you think#and denying that isn't going to help progress us any#I've had long hair all my life and I've ANNOYINGLY never been seen as anything other than a man#but dear god please let N/B individuals just present how they fucking want to#do not tell them they have to break the mold or be something different than who or what they are#if you can't see why that's a problem there's a problem in your logic#If you're a N/B and you want short neon dyed hair fuckin' go for it mate! Live your best life!#and if you want to present femininelyĀ I want you to feel just as fucking valid and supported for it#If you're N/B and you really like your beard and you think your hair looks good short then I hope you know you're no less N/B for it#Nonbinary individuals do not owe you androgyny I thought we've been over this already#and we don't need to make something andro just so it can ''fit for N/Bs'' or something#Especially not something that is already very gender neutral#Believe it or not I'm actually kinda scared to say this shit because I'm no stranger to angry anons telling me I need to change myself#funny that ain't it. How someone who is a thing will speak up about the suffering those people go through and others will become upset#rather than actually paying any mind to it or listening or giving it a moment of thought#I know there's roughly 24k other people out there who saw this post and went ''oh fuck yeah absolutely agree with this'' and honestly#the bulk of them are probably N/B people#and that's fine but I think we also need to address this topic when we're saying such a cut and dry statement here#You want to change something? Do it. Do it your fucking self. Do not make demands of me. I'm frankly#very fucking tired of people making demands of me.
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[ID: the Supernatural "I love you" meme. The 2nd box reads: "Wayne Brady just came out as pan." End ID.]
Here's the video he posted on tiktok:
[ID: a 32-second tiktok of Wayne Brady, accompanied by 3 dancers, lipsyncing and dancing to "It's All Coming Back To Me Now." He starts the video in a pink bathrobe, then reappears in a pink suit and a long wig. The other dancers wave a rainbow flag. End ID.]
the video description (which doesn't appear with the video outside the tiktok app, annoyingly) says:
As someone who gets to bring joy to others daily on tv, it's been ironic that I don't experience it as much as I'd like. I advocate mental health for all and a part of that is self transparency. In doing my work, I've come to see a few truths, one of them being that I want to be free to l love whomever I want. This truth makes me pan and part of the lgbtq+ family. It's scary as hell to say it out loud but here it is. The people I admire most are the ones brave enough to be themselves unapologetically. This shouldn't shake anyone's world, but if it bothers you at all, that's your business:) I was so afraid of having my manhood questioned, but screw that. A "real man" in my eyes, isn't afraid to be honest and happy. From now on, I'll be over here living my best life. I love you @Mandietaketa @Maile Masako @Jason
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pre-relationship bullshit haikyuu teams probably had to put up with before various ships managed to get their shit together
daisuga probably was really annoying with like small/petty jealousy, like a girl would hit on one of them and the other would be standing behind their back making faces about it and mocking it and everyone else on the team just has to put up with it. and then theyre all overly sweet to each other to make up for the petty jealousy or some odd version of "winning them back" after the flirting event and the team is rolling their eyes *so hard*
i think asanoya is so annoying bc nobody can convince Asahi that Noya likes him. Like full stop. Eventually someone pulls him aside and is point blank like "Noya said he has a crush on you ask him out" and Asahi is just like: "Haha he was probably joking" and just leaves the scene. Like the absolute refusal to believe it from Asahi combined with Noya's classic teen boy inability to be sincere means that even after theyve both been told they somehow still havent gotten together??? how long is this going to take???
tsukkiyama probably ruins everyone's week the week before they get together bc one of them *saw* a confession letter stuck into the other's bag and absolutely went (emotionally) off the rails for the days leading up to them discovering it was for them.
I am fully of the camp that iwaoi start dating before they label it/make it official so the whole team is screaming like "PLEASE HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT IT" meanwhile Oikawa is saying "we just went on a few dates and kissed a few times it doesnt mean anything" and Iwa is in the background shouting "yeah I dont wanna be anyone's boyfriend that's lame" and then they wander off to go eat dinner together holding hands and the team is left in frustration because ALL they talk about is how theyre *not* in a relationship.
for bokuaka its mostly just Bokuto pestering every goddamn person he knows for like 4 months asking "do you think Akaashi likes me?" or "do you think he'd say yes if I asked him out?" and then one day making Konoha *snap* when he says "I need to tell you a secret" and the secret is that he has a crush on Akaashi as if nobody had known that
with ushiten I imagine Tendou was probably really obvious with his crush/interest but in like a very casual "not taking myself too seriously" kind of way so he's comfortable openly flirting, and Ushijima, against everyone's expectations, doesnt seem to mind the attention but is still who he is, so the whole team just has to put up with the most INSANE interactions. Like Tendou walks into the locker room and cat calls him and Ushijima just replies with a formal "thank you" and Semi is contemplating slamming his head in a locker. There's like 12 months of this.
okay okay but I think arankita is *very classic* in that Aran compensates for his crush by over-supporting Kita. so like the whole team gets super annoyed bc Aran wont risk disagreeing with him, is always offering to do extra work, is generally just sucking-up really badly and the twins suffer the most for this bc Aran used to just ignore their antics but now he's super annoyingly on them all the time to try and impress Kita
kuroken is a little different. Yaku asks Kuroo every single day if he's asked Kenma out yet. Lev asks Kenma if he has a crush on Kuroo every chance he gets. Fukunaga gives them a wink when they leave practice to walk home together. This is the only pairing in which the team is the irritant pre-relationship and then post-relationship everyone loses interest and moves on.
I'd include kagehina but once again the entire goddamn show is everyone putting up with them flirting so whats the point.
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fanservice
ļæ½ļæ½ļæ½ļ潚 theme: fluff, established relationship šš pairing: idol!mingu x fem!reader šš word count: 944
ć» ā„ ć» jealousy is a disease when it comes to kim mingyu and his fanservice
āiām not your strongest soldier lol donāt play with me rn.āĀ
you rolled your eyes at the caption, and scrolled past the video that had been haunting you for the past couple of days. ever since the boysā fan meeting last monday your fyp had been going crazy with videos of your boyfriend holding hands and comparing hand sizes with his fans.Ā
and that wasnāt even the worst part.Ā
your man was the definition of fanservice, him holding hands with others and making puppy eyes at them wasn't anything new, hell - how many times had he asked you to take his āboyfriendā photos he later posted on instagram, while looking like a literal walking dream. he loved making people go crazy on a daily basis, so it wasnāt like the hand holding bothered you.Ā
what bothered you was the lovestruck expression, the annoyingly gentle, sparkly eyes, the perfect fucking black hair falling over his forhead, the soft smile, the gaze that never left the person in font of him.Ā
you werenāt sure where the sudden surge of possessiveness came from, but oh my god, there was a limit of what you could take, and if only you remembered your twitter password you wouldāve logged out a long time ago. you knew exactly who this look was reserved for, and it was you, and you only, so why was he suddenly going around looking at others like they hung the moon and the stars in the sky.Ā
ābaby?ā mingyuās voice echoed from your bedroom. āhave you seen my black dior hoodie?ā
you were too busy scrolling past yet another tik tok to answer your boyfriend. besides, who cared about a hoodie when he was basically cheating on you?Ā Ā
āand what are you gawking at, huh?ā you muttered under your nose, as the girl in the video squealed when mingyu took her hand in his. you werenāt sure why you were working yourself up so much. itās not like you were jealous of the way his thumb was running over her palm. or how their fingers intertwined perfectly.
thinking you didnāt hear him from the other room, mingyu gave up on his mission to find the hoodie he was sure he saw in the closet just this morning, and walked out to the living room to look for you. ābaby, did you h-,ā he didn't have to look at you twice to see who exactly stole the piece of clothing he was searching for. āthere it is,ā he beamed, a smile blooming on his face. his heart never failed to turn into mush whenever he saw you dressed in his clothes, especially the oversized ones that made you look like an adorable teddy bear.Ā
āi can give it back if you want,ā you mumbled, your eyes still glued to your phone.Ā
āitās fine, iāll just find another one, but tell me,ā mingyu crooked an eyebrow at your frown, and walked over to where you were not so happily occupying the armchair he and wonwoo decided on buying last month, āwhat the hell got you pouting like that?āĀ
you didnāt notice your boyfriend standing behind you until it was too late. āhuh?ā too slow to turn off the phone, you spun around to find mingyu behind you with an annoying smirk on his face. āi wasnāt pouting,ā you tried to argue, as you slipped the phone under your thigh. he laughed, and tucked a loose piece of your hair behind your ear.Ā
ābaby?ā he crouched down, and placed his chin on your shoulder.Ā
āmhm?ā maybe playing stupid would help.Ā
āwhy were you watching videos from the fanmeeting, hm?ā he asked innocently, like he didnāt know exactly why.Ā
you groaned, and turned around, hiding your face in the crook of his neck. there was no way youād admit to being jealous of some girls for holding your boyfriendās hand when you literally did that 24/7.Ā
āyou know you literally get to cuddle and kiss me, right? itās not like theyāre going to steal me from you,ā he said. you didnāt have to look to know that he had this infuriatingly handsome smile on his face that always made your knees weak.Ā
āstop being so smug about it, kim mingyu,ā you mumbled, and hit his chest.Ā
ānever.āĀ
he grabbed the back of your neck gently and peeled you of him, much to your reluctance. a pang of self-consciousness suddenly hit you because what if he thought you were acting immaturely over this? ālisten,ā he walked around the armchair to kneel in front of you. āwhatever youāre thinking, stop it,ā grabbing your face tenderly, he ran a thumb over your cheek. āiām yours, remember?āĀ
āi know, itās just-,āĀ
ālet me finish, yeah?ā you nodded and kissed his palm, encouraging him to keep going. maybe that was just what you needed today? a bit of reassurance and his words of affirmation. because if there was one thing that kim mingyu was good at, it was making you feel secure and loved.Ā
āi know it can be hard looking at those videos and whatnot, and you know why i act how i act when itās needed. but i love you. you. and no matter how many hands i have to hold or how many people i have to pretend to flirt with, it doesnāt change the fact that at the end of the day all i want is to come home to you. āk baby?āĀ
too overwhelmed to say anything, you just nodded quickly, and threw your arms around his shoulders, so he wouldnāt see your teary eyes.Ā
āyouāre really mine?ā you asked, sniffling quietly.Ā
āall yours. only yours.ā
taglist (if you want to be added, check my masterlist): @jeonghansshitester @weird-bookworm @sea-moon-star @hanniehaee @wonwooz1 @byprettymar @edgaralienpoe @staranghae @itza-meee @eightlightstar @immabecreepin @whatsgyud @hyneyedfiz @honestlydopetree @vicehectic @dkswife @uniq-tastic @marisblogg @aaniag @daegutowns @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @embrace-themagic @ohmyhuenings @nidda13 @hrts4hanniehae @k-drama-adict @isabellah29 @f4iryjjosh @bangantokchy @mrswonwooo @bangtancultsposts @lllucere @athanasiasakura @onlyyjeonghan @haecien @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @hannahhbahng @valgracia @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @mirxzii @hhusbuds @wonranghaeee @rosiesauriostuff @gyuguys @tomodachiii @veryfabday @lilmochiandsuga @asasilentreader @mrsnervous @bewoyewo @sharonxdevi @wondipity @gyuguys @raginghellfire @treehouse-mouse @waldau @wonootnoot @hellodefthings @dokyeomkyeom @sourkimchi @bbysnw @hoichi02 @aaa-sia @haneulparadx @minvrsev @zozojella @wonootnoot @kimingyuslover @wntrei @honglynights @jihoonsbbygirl @uhdrienne @bloodcanbehotĀ
#seventeen x you#svt reactions#seventeen x reader#seventeen carat#seventeen reactions#seventeen#seventeen imagines#seventeen fluff#svt fluff#seventeen kpop#seventeen headcanons#seventeen reaction#seventeen recs#mingyu#mingyu angst#mingyu x reader#kim mingyu#mingyu seventeen#mingyu x you#mingyu x y/n#mingyu svt#mingyu scenarios#svt scenarios#svt x reader#svt
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I want to allow requests for 3dmv gifsets but idk how to without making it super convoluted...
#āćuta speaks#i want to make it so that anyone can request any song (that i have) with any group of characters with any costumes (that i have)#in any arrangement#but that would make for some really long requests in some cases#and might also involve me having to create a document or post with all the costumes and songs i have#which i personally do not have a problem with#but i don't want it to be annoyingly complicated#should i make a google form?#but that feels a little too annoying too...#maybe a template in which you could format requests for that specific thing...#idk all the options feel too complex !!!!!#editing help
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[The Ideal Gaze]
lab tester: @ichigosluvrr š©»
pairing: DadBod!Miguel OāHara x Fem!Reader
summary: Miguel is feeling a bit out of your league, so you remind him that heās just in your lane.Ā
content warning: established relationship (theyāre married with kids!), domestic fluff, mild hurt/comfort due to Miguel being an idiot that does not understand The Female Gaze, some miscommunication between reader and Miguel, 18+ so MDNI, a little raunchier than I intended tbh but hopefully I presented DB!Mig well, body worship, heated tension, reader is like obsessed with Miguelās new Dad Bod, deepthroat š, missionary position, unprotected p in v sex (WRAP IT UP š«µš¾), the word Ma as a term of endearment from Miguel to reader two times
word count: 5.3k, halfway proofread
a/n: Fulfilling this first because this was technically my first request! I added a few more elements (thank you Miguel server!), so I hope you donāt mind. There were no specific requests other than fluff and smut, so I went with the flow. I hope you enjoy! (Also, I found the original artist's post here!! Go give them some love!)
Your blood is pumping as you round the corner, only a few more steps until you reach the driveway.Ā
The jog today was pretty refreshing. There were no calls from work asking about things that could wait until 8 AM, no toddler fussing about waking up, and no child whining about getting homework done. It was just you, your FitBit, your steamy audiobook, and the lingering thoughts of meeting your husbandās eyes this morning. Lately, itās been like a little game to rile him up.Ā
Youāve been married for a few years and a family of four for seven years with a sweet little girl, a second grader with the attitude of an old lady, and a precious little boy, a preschooler with keen intuition. With your lives being consumed with work and taking care of the kids, you feel like your relationship has been put on the back burner. Long gone were the days in which you two made love at the drop of a hat, fucking on anything that could hold you. Now, you were lucky enough to get a little dry humping.
It was getting depressing, and more annoyingly, frustrating, so you started to put your riled-up energy elsewhere. You were up at the crack of dawn making everyoneās lunches and going on occasional jogs, you were using your PTO for brunches with the girls and spa days, you had regular pilates classes, the real pilates, and most importantly, you were finding small pockets of time for yourself.Ā
From buying yourself small gifts to filling your Kindle with romance books to pleasuring yourself on the nights Miguel worked overtime. You were sure to keep yourself busy. All of that, and you still couldnāt get the thought of Miguel entangled with you out of your head.Ā
You heaved out as you stopped at the end of the driveway, taking a few breaths to calm your state. The book you were listening to was on a particularly enthralling scene and you wondered if it was something that Miguel would be interested in trying.Ā
You looked down at yourself and decided to unzip the top of your athletic jacket, letting the tightness of your bra and the fabric push your cleavage up. One smooth swipe of your clothes and you were walking to the front door.Ā
It was 6:40 AM, so there was plenty of time to have a little quiet moment with your husband.Ā
You walked into the kitchen and saw him standing in all of his glory. A newspaper in his left hand, because some things didnāt need to be digitized, a āBest PapĆ” Everā mug in his right hand, black glasses on his face, and your favorite thing, a naked plush torso on display.Ā
In the first years of parenthood, his metabolism was through the roof. Despite him joining you for every snack, meal, and midnight dessert, he never lost that tiny little waist or those washboard abs. It wasnāt until your youngest was born and babbling that his appearance started to change. His arms became a mix of muscle and cellulite, his thighs were softer than ever, his chest was full and plump, and his waist widened gifting you with his soft belly and a happy trail that continued to his belly button.Ā
The early time didnāt stop the coil of neediness in your stomach from forming.Ā
āGood morning, hubby,ā you say with a lilt to your voice. You walked closer to him, an extra bounce in your step, and leaned on the island.Ā
Sure enough, Miguel was peeking at your chest from over his glasses, mug hovering over his lips.Ā
You only smiled coyly, waiting for his response.Ā
āGood morning. How was your jog?ā he puts the newspaper and mug down, folding his arms under his chest.Ā
You stared at his bulging arms, pressed-up pecs, and his tummy that moved with him and almost whined.Ā
āIt was really good. Super nice and refreshing. Maybe a little warm,ā you crossed your legs, impatient. āHowās your morning so far?ā
āItās better,ā he says, making the short distance to crowd your space. He leans over you, hands going to the island. āMy wife is here now.ā
You smile at his words, hands itching to touch him but not wanting to ruin the stride. Instead, you look up at him and pan his lips.Ā
āIām feeling better, too,ā you whisper, waiting.Ā
Miguel leans forward to press his lips onto yours, the smell of coffee hitting your senses. You feel little fireworks go off as he starts to open your mouth. Everything felt just right in this moment.Ā
When his hand slid across your back, you almost jumped up to wrap your legs around him. You tilted your head and wrapped your arms around his neck. You could feel yourself slipping against the counter, but Miguel was right there to steady you.Ā
For what felt like hours to you after so long of a heated connection, the two of you made out on the kitchen island. Only some birds chirping, the occasional car passing by, and the hum of the washing machine could be heard next to the sound of you both breathing into each otherās lips
āCome with me to the shower?ā you say, eyes heavy and pleading.Ā
You could feel Miguel tense up, back rigid as he moved back.Ā
āI better stay. Raul might wake up soon and he was having a hard time sleeping last night.ā
Your heart dropped at the rejection. You were hoping that this would be the one, the moment that youāve been anticipating for months. Some form of sexual connection.Ā
āOk. Iāll be out soon,ā you turn and go to the master bathroom, tugging the zipper down hastily. You felt a bit dejected and embarrassed, but youāre trying to let it go. Your mommy side knows that your youngest woke up in distress last night so it makes perfect sense that Miguel wants to be alert for his cries, but your wife side wants her husband back and canāt help but feel like he didnāt want you.Ā
With this brisk shower, you hoped this self-doubt and neediness washed away with it.Ā
You tapped your fingers against the desk, staring off at your computer. Work today was slow, which you didnāt mind because that meant you could frequent your watchlist, but your mind kept wandering off while watching some random K-drama.Ā
Last night, you woke up to what sounded like Miguel getting off in the bathroom.Ā
He got off work super late that day, so you took the initiative to get the kids to bed and go to bed early.Ā
What you didnāt expect was to wake up to the sound of his grunts coming through the bathroom door.Ā
At first, you were a little hurt that he didnāt wake you up to help him out, but then you were so overcome by the sound of him whimpering and moaning that you couldnāt help but pleasure yourself.Ā
He sounded so desperate and wanton, cursing every once in a while. You bit your lip as you imagined him right next to you, voice right in your ear. You wanted his weight on you. You wanted to feel his skin against yours.Ā
You lay in the empty bed rubbing yourself until you came, his noises stopping a while before you finished. You were hoping he would come out and see you so you prolong your orgasm to no avail, sleep coming to claim you before he did.Ā
When you tried to ask him about it in the morning, he kept avoiding your eyes, saying something about his stomach giving him the blues.Ā
You let it go then, but that didnāt stop you from thinking about it all day.Ā
In a spur-of-the-moment decision, you decide to text him a flirty message, running to the bathroom to take a picture to match. You waited a little bit, hoping that he could take at least a peek.Ā
āYou look gorgeous, honey.ā
Just gorgeous? Not hot? Not good enough to make him want more?
You scrunched your mouth to the side, asking if he could send a picture back.
ļæ½ļæ½Baby, you know I canāt. Iām at work right now.āĀ
You huffed at that. You knew he was just in his lab by himself. There was plenty of time and solitude to take a picture. He used to send random pictures of himself all of the time.Ā
For the rest of the day, you were irritated, feeling slighted at the hands of your husband.
You took a break from trying to seduce your husband, tired of the pushback. You put your all into taking care of the kids and maintaining the house when you could.
āAnd how many sticks does that leave Cassie with?ā you asked Gabriella. You both were at the dining table with her math homework sprawled everywhere while dinner was in the oven.Ā
ā27!ā she shouted, voice becoming more confident over the course of the math sheet.Ā
āCorrect! Youāre knocking āem out, girl!ā
āBuen trabajo, mija,ā Miguel said with vigor as he came by to kiss the top of her head. āYouāre doing so well.ā (Good job, mija.)
āDoes this mean I can get a cookie?ā she asked, quick to melt her fatherās heart.
āNot before dinner, Gabriella, you know this,ā Miguel bounced Raul in his arms, a little fussy and sniffly.Ā
āPlease, papĆ”!ā she looked up at him with big brown eyes and a pout.Ā Ā
Miguel sighed, unable to say no to her 9 times out of 10.Ā
He looked at you frantically, watching you snickering behind your hands, āYou have to ask MamĆ”.ā
Whenever he really wanted to say no, he used you as a trump card.
Gabriellaās shoulders drop as she turns to you, already knowing the drill.
āThe answer is no. You can wait until after dinner,ā you say, squeezing her cheek.
āYou always say no,ā Gabriella whines dramatically, slumping in her seat with her arms crossed, pout just like her dadās.
āAnd you can always go to bed with no cookies,ā you chide as you get up to go check on dinner. āNow go put your homework up and wash your hands, dinner is almost ready.ā
She puts her papers back in her folder with the theatrics of a Broadway actor, sighing dramatically with each step she took to her room.
Miguel laughed at her actions watching her leave, āSheās just like her Mami when she gets like that. Fussy.ā
You pause to put your hand on your hip, āNo, sheās just like her Father when she canāt get her way. Whiny.ā You open the oven and pull the lasagna out to the stove to cool a bit.Ā
āWell, I canāt say no to her just like I canāt say no to you,ā he says, placing Raul at the table with a hand running over his soft hair. āYou both have the same puppy-dog eyes.ā
āYou like leaving the hard parenting to me.ā
āThat is not true. I just tussled with a four-year-old to get him to take his cold medicine and made a promise of not one, but two bedtime stories,ā he says, coming up behind you as you reached to get the dishes. He got them down for you instead, hand on your hips and stomach pressed against your back.
You bite your tongue in order not to will your negligent, horny brain from awakening. You didnāt have time for those thoughts, little feet were near, and every advance you gave him ended in failure.Ā
āIs he doing ok?ā you say, referring to Raul he sat at the table with his head down, a teddy bear hugged against him as he pitifully moved his toy car back and forth. It was definitely a big shift from his usual talkative demeanor.
āWe might have to go to the doctor again. His allergies are really acting up.ā
You leave Miguelās side to go squat down by Raul, āHow are you feeling, sweetheart?ā
You rubbed his back, trying to see if he felt warmer than usual and sure enough, he was burning up.
āMy throat hurts, Mama,ā he said, little voice just about gone.Ā
āOh, I know, my sweet baby,ā you say with a soft voice. āDo you want me to make you some alphabet soup?ā
Raulās face twists up, lip a little wobbly, āBut I want some cheese noodles.ā
āHey, itās ok!. You can have some lasagna. I just want your throat to feel better. Hot things will make it feel better.ā
āThe cheese noodles are hot, too.ā
You smiled, āThatās right, the cheese noodles are hot, but I mean a hot liquid.ā
He stayed quiet for a moment, hands squeezing his teddy bear as he thought, āCan I have hot chocolate?ā
āOf course you can. Can I give you a kiss?ā
He nods his head slowly and you lean over to kiss his head. You needed to get him under the covers soon. Before you could pull away, he wrapped his arms around your neck, snuggling up to be held. You couldnāt resist holding your baby, especially when you couldnāt take his pain away.Ā
You get up to see Miguel helping Gabriella plate the slices of lasagna on each plate and setting up the side salad. Your heart filled with joy watching them giggle over the stretchy cheese. It was moments like this that reminded you that you were taking the right steps, that this was the perfect little life.Ā Ā
As they set up the table with the plates and drinks, you kept Raul in your arms, ready to help him with tonight's dinner.Ā
āThank you for the food, Mommy,ā Gabriella said with a toothy smile.Ā
āYouāre welcome, baby,ā you say, cutting Raulās food up even smaller, not wanting him to struggle any more than he had to tonight.Ā
The table was quiet, save for Gabriella and Miguel smacking their food occasionally and Raulās wheezy breaths.Ā
By the time dinner was over, Gabriella was buzzing in her seat for cookies, and Raul was close to falling asleep in your arms.Ā
You couldnāt ask for anything better.Ā
With Raul sound asleep, Gabriella tucked in bed, and Miguel watching cable, you had a moment to yourself to think.Ā
Did todayās small touches mean anything?
You stood in the bathroom moisturizing your skin after a hot bath. You said you were going to stop trying to fish for your husbandās attention, but if you were honest, todayās brief moment of connection did it for you. You couldnāt stop your thoughts once you were alone.
You decide to wear just a pair of panties and one of his old t-shirts to bed: a look that wasnāt trying too hard to get his attention, but youāre sure heās going to notice it.Ā
You sat on the bed and decided to read until he came into the room. You hope you were giving a sexy girlfriend vibe. Your skin was all smooth, you smelled good, and you knew you looked good.Ā
When Miguel walks in, he pauses at the door to stare at you.Ā
āWhy are you looking at me like that? Come to bed,ā you say.Ā
Hook, line, and sinker.Ā
Miguel shuffled over, eyeing you from head to toe. He looked delicious in his tank top, fabric stretched in the best possible ways.
He crawled on the bed next to you, āMy band t-shirt?ā
āYeah! Itās comfy.ā
He rubbed his hand up your naked thigh and your nerves started to sing. Any further up, and you might just wet your panties from his touch alone. You missed it so much.Ā
He leaned over to kiss the juncture your neck and shoulder, your neck, your cheek, and then he stopped.Ā
He justā¦stopped.
āWell, I gotta go in earlier tomorrow, so Iām going to sleep early. Is it ok if I turn this light off?
You felt your throat dry up, āYeah, ok.ā
He got under the sheets and switched his lamp off, leaving you in the dark with the faint light of your Kindle illuminating the room.
āGoodnight, honey,ā he said with a yawn.Ā
āNight.ā
You turned your Kindle off and just sat in silence, his snores breaking the illusion of the dark consuming you.Ā
Youāre starting to think the worst.Ā
You kept up a number of tactics subtle to glaringly obvious to appeal to your husband from changing up your perfume to what you would say was an amazing strip tease. Absolutely nothing is working.Ā
He kept listing off excuses from the kids to his job to his parents to his brother, anything to avoid an intimate session with you. He even chose a night out with his boys over a night in bed with you which was jarring because he always made you feel good before going out to have a good time.Ā
Did he not find you attractive anymore? You knew childbirth brought a lot of change, but you were still the same woman he met and fell in love with.Ā
Did he not love you anymore? He often praised you for being a good mom and his pet names never stopped, but after that, his declaration of love for you had been very surface-level.
Is he cheating on you?
You really didnāt want to entertain that thought, but your heart couldnāt take any more pain than it already had.Ā
So, one day when you say youāre taking the kids to the park, you drop them off at your momās place instead, hoping that if there was something going on, no little hearts would be broken once you unleash a beast in the house.Ā
You pull back in the driveway to see that heās still here, just as you suspected. You make your way quietly through the house, inching closer to you allās bedroom.Ā
Your heart almost stops when you hear the sound of Miguelās voice, high and breathy in a way that should only reach your ears. You donāt think when you swing the door open, adrenaline pumping high.Ā Ā
Miguel yells, scared to death but alone.Ā
āWhat are you doing?ā you ask, voice frustrated.
āWhat am I doing? What are you doing?ā
You look at the state heās in, shirt up, waistband under his dick, and a mystery fabric in his hand.Ā
āWere you getting off?ā you say, hands dropping to your side. āDo youā¦do you not love me anymore?ā
āWhat?ā
āDo you. Not. Love me anymore. You avoid me every time Iāve tried to initiate something with you. We havenāt made love in so long. You keep making excuses to not be alone with me. You donāt even want to do normal things with me like send pictures or makeout until weāre out of breath. Iāve heard you in the bathroom during the night and now youāre here doing the same thing, without me, your wife.ā Your eyes start to water after it all, feeling utter defeat.Ā
āCariƱo, this is a misunderstanding,ā he pleads, voice distraught. āI do love you. Iāve never stopped loving you.ā
āThen why are you doing this to me?ā
āBecause,ā he pauses, fixing his clothes to have some decency. āIā¦havenāt felt the greatest about my body.ā
Your tears dry up as soon as the statement resonates, āWhat? What do you mean?ā
Miguel sighs.
āLately, itās getting harder and harder for my old clothes to fit me anymore, Iām way too busy to hit the gym and more than anything, I think you deserve a man whoās a little less,ā he gestures to himself, ālet go.ā
āSays who?ā
He looks at you as if youāve grown two heads, āUh, everybody?ā
āWell, who is everybody because Iād like to strangle them for letting you think that my husband isnāt good enough for me.ā You walk deeper into the bedroom crowding Miguelās space. āYouāll always be perfect for me. The vows I promised to you will not be broken over something so normal as weight gain.ā
He looked like he could cry.Ā
āWhy did you hide you were feeling this way, baby?ā you hold his head in your hands scratching at his scalp.Ā
āIt felt stupid and silly. Youāve been doing so well socially and physically, I wanted to see if I could fix it on my own before bringing you down with my problems.ā
āMiguel OāHara,ā you say, gripping his jaw firmly. āIām your wife. I might not be able to solve everything, but at the very least, you need to talk to me. Tell me how youāre feeling, express yourself with words. Donāt hide.ā
He wrapped his arms around you, sniffling, āI know. Iām sorry. It wonāt happen again.ā
You pressed a long kiss into his scalp, rubbing his back.Ā
āOh my gosh,ā you chuckled. āYou were feeling so much internally, meanwhile I was practically screaming at you to fuck me. I thought you werenāt attracted to me anymore.āĀ
So much for communication.Ā
Miguel just burried his face in your chest while he groaned, āThatās the thing! You were driving me crazy with your tight little workout clothes and your lingerie. You looked so good, but I couldnāt get out of my own head. Iāve beenā¦ā
āYouāve been what?ā
āI,ā he got red in the face. āIāve been using your underwear.ā
You look down to Miguelās crumbled up hand and it was in fact your underwear from the night you wore his band t-shirt, drenched in his essence.
Your stomach turned with excitement.
āSo this is what you were doing in the bathroom in the middle of the night, hm? Using my panties? Giving them more action and attention than me?ā
Miguel nodded, eyes hazy.
āDid it feel good?ā
Another nod.
āI bet it did. I would wake up and hear you trying so hard to cum.ā
You donāt know how, but his face got even warmer.
āYou left your poor wife all alone, thinking about you on top of her until she came too.ā
āI did?ā
āYou didnāt know?ā you ask, playfully. āI was up all night imagining you walking out to see me. I wanted these arms to come and hold me.ā
You squeeze at his arms on your sides.Ā
āI wanted your weight on me. I wanted your chest against mine.I needed you so bad.ā
You move to sit in his lap, knees on the side of him.
āYou do such a great job of being a father. This beautiful change in your body is only proof of your hard work and dedication. Itās proof of love for your family.ā
Miguel only melted in your hands, face a cloud of emotion.
āI love you, Miguel. I adore you. I yearn for you. I want you.ā
With every declaration, came a kiss to his lips.
āCan I show you how much I love you?ā
āPlease.ā
With that, you took his shirt off and made your way down his chest. You lingered around his chest, holding his pecs as you kissed them all over. You couldnāt stop your moans as your tongue felt across the hairy planes of his chest, sucking and pulling on his nipples. Miguel shudders as you pay special attention to them, sensitive after not being with you for so long.
āYou donāt know how long Iāve wanted this,ā you breathe into his skin. You slide onto the floor and just press your face into his stomach.
āYou like it that much?ā
āLove it. You look so yummy walking around. You could be just standing there and I get so,ā you cut yourself off, trying not to overwhelm him with just how much you were feeling. āYouāre hot, baby.ā
You kiss down his happy trail to reach his pants, his stomach twitching. You tugged a bit too hard on his pants, causing him to laugh.Ā
āWhatās so funny?ā you say with a pout.Ā
āI havenāt seen you like this since we won that coupleās retreat.ā
āNot my fault. You were all sexy up there, beating the other husbands with your big brain. It was doing something to me.ā
You finished pulling and you could almost cry with joy when Miguelās cock springs next to your head. The sound you make when you see it also has Miguel wound tight.Ā
Completely taken over by your neediness and desperation, you pull one of his thick legs over your shoulder, kissing and sucking on the skin while your fingertips dance around the entirety of his length.Ā
The display of strength shocks Miguel who drips and whines at your actions.Ā
āIām gonna make you feel so good, baby. Do you want that?ā
āYes,ā he whispers.Ā
You cup him while you take his head in your mouth. It felt like pure bliss to have that familiar taste in your mouth. With the way you were humming, Miguel can tell that you were about to put him to sleep.Ā
You took no time letting your tongue stretch to take more of him in. Your cheeks hollow as you go further, one hand kneading at the thigh you were holding and the other switching from fondling him to wrapping around the base of his length.Ā
āGod,ā Miguelās voice filled the room, the loudest it had been for the past few months. āI donāt think Iāll last that long.ā
You let go of him and lick down the sides, āThatās because youāre too busy fucking other things instead of me.ā
āāM sorry,ā he whined as you went back down on him. āI-I was still thinking of you and, ngh, wanting you.ā
āMm hm,ā your voice sent shocks down his spine as you didnāt let go. He moved his hips steadily, dick sliding in and out of your mouth and pudge occasionally pressing against your face.Ā
The faster he went, the noisier the sounds got. He moved his hands to your head, thighs eerily close to tightening around your face. You couldnāt have it any better.Ā
You dug your nails into his hips, throat contracting in order to take him in. Even with your jaw slacked, itās been so long since you took him like this that you gagged more often than not. With every sound of your throat struggling, Miguel shouted your name, hands gripping tighter on your hair.
You could tell he was close by the way his thigh was tensing on your shoulder, so when he said the four words, you took him to the hilt, face completely pressed against him.Ā
āShit!ā he felt like passing out as he released into your throat. You swallowed as much as you could, but you couldnāt take it all, saliva and cum esxaping down your chin to his balls.Ā
He grunts when he pulls you off, chest moving sporadically.Ā
You lick your lips and let out a satisfied sigh, āFinally.ā
Miguel could only chuckle as he laid back on the bed. You crawled on top of him, sitting on his thighs with a smile. You rub your hands on the skin of stomach, slowly getting to his chest, āIām like, really wet right now if you want some more painties to use.ā
He growled as he pulled you closer.
āYouāre never going to let that go, are you?ā
āNope,ā you say, popping the P. āI really want you to do it in front of me. Maybe send me a video for the nights you work overtime.ā
He had the nerve to look embarrassed as he wrapped his arms around your back, āI might be able to arrange that.ā He kissed your lips to distract you from speaking on it further.
After Miguel returned the favor with his head between your legs, the both of you were enjoying a quiet moment together before having to go pick up the kids.
āI canāt believe you thought I was cheating on you,ā Miguel said as you were drawing circles on his chest.
āMiguel,ā you say, lifting your head. āI pulled all the stops. I did things that I knew you loved: the t-shirts, going commando, the flirty pictures. I even brought whipped cream to the bedroom and you told me āI canāt eat that, itāll blow up my stomach,ā when you were literally in the kitchen taking shots of it the night before.ā
āOk. So I see how you might have gotten to that ludicrous conclusion, but did you not notice how much Iāve been staring at you?ā
You clicked your teeth, āYeah, but what does that mean when you donāt act on it?ā
Miguel twisted his lip, āWill you feel better if I told you that your work pictures turned me on too?ā
You pinched him resulting in a yelp, āIāll feel better right now if you give me a shower round.ā
He pulled you in his arms as he got out of the bed, āLetās go before your mom calls.ā
You giggle and swing your feet on the way.
After your afternoon of praising his body, Miguel emerged as his previous confident self. This meant more days with him walking around shirtless, more quickies in the morning, makeouts that ended in pleasure, him smacking your ass, you smacking his ass back, and sex. Lots and lots of sex.
Right now, Raul was down for a nap and Gabriella was enjoying her tablet time.Ā
You, however, were clawing at Miguelās back like a cat as he pounded you into the mattress.Ā
āFuck!ā you shouted, eyelids fluttering as Miguelās cock dragged across your walls. āIt feels so good.ā
āQuiet, mi vida,ā he whispered. āThe kids are in their rooms.ā
You were quick to cover your mouth, moans muffled. It really didnāt matter because the creaks of the bed were just as loud as you. One change in position and the headboard denting the walls could be added to it.Ā
It was all too much.Ā
First, he woke you up with kisses down your body and a promise to lighten your load around the house. Then, he got the kids up and prepared breakfast with the help of Raul. Later while you were out running errands, he sent you a coupon for a spa that just opened up down the street and warm message.Ā
Now, he has you losing your mind with his hips slapping against yours, whispering praises in your ear.
āMiguel!ā
āHm? Talk to me.ā
āI-I canāt-ā your voice keeps getting louder unintentionally. He was so calm while he was reaching so deep inside. Your mind was hazy, wanting nothing more than him to keep going.
āYouāre doing so good, Ma. Youāre so good to me and the kids. Youāre such a beautiful wife. Such a pretty Mama. Just wanna make you feel good.ā
You felt yourself clench around him at his words, tears falling across your temples. He kissed your tears tenderly, strokes getting deeper.Ā
āM-Miguel,ā you say with your heart full. āI love you.ā
āI love you too, baby. So, so deeply,ā
That was all it took for you to suck him in and scream into his shoulder, nails digging into his shoulder blades. His release was soon after, painting your walls with his lips pressed against your ear.
āPapĆ”! You have to be more careful,ā Gabriella fussed with her hands on her hips while Miguel was in the kitchen trying to make the family a snack. āYou got hurt at work!ā
Miguel paused and reached behind his back, fingers roaming over the healing scratches on his shoulder from his last session with you.Ā
You covered your teeth with your lips as Miguel turned to look at you with his eyebrows raised.Ā
āItās ok, mija. PapĆ” is tough!ā
āBut you gotta put something on it,ā Gabriella said with a huff.
āThank you for your concern, nena. Iāll get MamĆ” to take care of it, ok?ā he ruffled her hair as he handed her a plate of bunny-shaped apple slices. āNow go sit with your brother and watch some TV.ā
Miguel huffed as he walked up to the side of you with his arms crossed.
āWhat? You should put your shirt on!ā
āThatās not what you said when you-ā
āHush and go get the aloe.ā
Miguel snickered as he gave your lips a peck, āYeah, yeah.ā
Life was wonderfully sweet.
With that, my first request is done! As always, like, reblog, and COMMENT. Let me know how you guys feel! š©µ
#to the lab testers š©»#love lab fics š§«#DadBod!Miguel šØāš§#miguel oāhara x reader#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel x reader#miguel o'hara smut#dadbod!miguel#dad bod miguel#miguel o'hara#atsv miguel#miguel 2099#miguel fanfic#miguel o'hara fanfiction#miguel o'hara x fem!reader#miguel o'hara x you#miguel ohara fanfiction#miguel ohara smut#miguel ohara x fem!reader#miguel ohara x reader#miguel oāhara#miguel oāhara smut#miguel smut#miguel spiderverse#miguel x you#miguel ohara
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summary: law might hate bread, might hate sweets, but if eating them is the only way to show you how much he cares, then so be it. pairing: law x fem!reader cw: none! fluff, awkward law. some descriptions of food and textures if you're sensitive to that! wc: ~3.5k (wow!!)
an: this is for my amazing friend @guilty-sugar ! i recall you saying that you were good at baking, but sad that law probably wouldn't eat any. so, we're gonna make him >:)
i have not posted in soooo long so pls forgive me š„² i hope you all enjoy law and making him suffer by eating bread!!
the air is getting warm again, he can feel it. it grows so stuffy that he shrugs off his top layer, leaving him in that buttoned shirt he couldn't stop wearing after the one time you told him it looked good.
his eyes scan the medical papers in front of him, but his mind is annoyingly slow today.
law does a grand job of pretending that he doesn't know your schedule, doesn't know the tell tale signs that point to only one conclusion. the air grows hotter, the crew buzzes with poorly repressed excitement and the sound of clinking metal bowls echoes throughout the entire submarine.
it's baking day.
he's been preparing for this. he's finally going to face his biggest enemy yet, a foe that seemed much more intimidating than any warlord or emperor of the sea.
today, granted the ocean didn't swallow him whole, law was going to try some of the baked goods that you were known for making, including the bread.
the thought alone makes his skin crawl, but it pales in comparison to how small he feels in your presence. it irritates him, especially since your intentions have been nothing short of well meaning.
that's what he thinks, anyway.
law runs his tattooed fingers through the black strands of his hair, deciding to forget about whatever paper he's reading about in a bid to feel a semblance of control. he's overthinking, looking too much into things.
do you really smile at him more than everyone else? do you ask about his coin collection because you actually care or are you being polite?
within the upper quadrants of the polar tang, he can just barely hear the others hound you with questions about what you'll be making. no matter what it was, it was sure to be gone in a snap.
a dull thump shakes the sub, but he doesn't think much of it.
bepo, he thinks, probably slipped trying to gather ingredients for you. his suspicion is confirmed when the laughs of penguin and shachi follow shortly after, but the sound doesn't begin to compare to the one that flows out of your lips.
he represses a groan, his way of ignoring how his heartbeat momentarily diverts from it's usual rhythm.
his knuckles grip the sides of his chair, using it as leverage to push himself into a standing position before grabbing his hat and making his way to the kitchen. the air is almost uncomfortably warm now, but he can't find it in himself to be upset with you.
the submarine had been navigating the undersea currents for a while now. a visit to the surface was just about due.
it's not like he planned it like that. no, of course not!
he didn't even think about how the crew would be eager to hop off the vessel, didn't think about how you'd stay behind to bake while he took on the task of keeping you company.
he steps into the kitchen with curiosity, though his expression gives nothing away. it's that same almost neutral face, his brows slightly furrowed and lips teetering on a frown.
bepo is sitting on the floor of the kitchen, the flour dusting his form barely noticeable against his plush white fur. the bear is half-apologetic and half-embarrassed, the former directed toward you while the latter stemmed from the laughter going his way.
"sorry." he grumbles again, thought it looks like you couldnāt care less. bepo seems to have enough of his crew mates, tackling the other two men and making sure to get them covered with flour.
their complaints mesh with your amused laughs, a soundtrack that the polar tang's captain knows well.
law is blind to the scene before him, everything becoming out of focus as he spots you mixing some ingredients into a bowl. you're laughing, nose crinkling and mouth stretching into a grin that almost makes his stoic expression crumble.
the corner of his lips waver, just a little bit, your joy infectious in a way that makes him believe it's an actual disease.
however, he has work to do and baked goods to stomach.
"and what are you all up to?" he asks, arms crossing as he forces his gaze away from you.
it's almost comical how the four of you straighten up, abandoning whatever you're doing to raise a hand to your foreheads in a mock solute. the "hello captain!" that echoes across the room is practically in perfect sync, or at least enough to make him shake his head.
he sighs, telling you guys to quit it. "that doesn't answer my question."
penguin brings a hand down on bepo's back, a cloud of flour puffing into the air as he does so. "sweets day, cap!"
you affirm penguin's statement, tilting your head with a smile as you give a rundown of what's on the menu for today. some cupcakes, a few cookies and a loaf of sourdough.
just the mention of the bread is enough to make him tense.
bepo laxly nods in agreement with you, his black nose twitching as he catches the scent of vanilla extract. his head is in the clouds, not so much on his captain, so he decides to join you at the counter to mix some ingredients together in a bowl.
at the doorway, law gives penguin and shachi a deadpan look.
shachi chimes in with a grin, nodding his head in your direction. his words are meant to be sly, directed toward the captain, but he's unable to hide his amusement. "sweets day with the sweetest member of the crew, don't you think cap-"
"shut up." law interjects, brows pinching together as he takes in the poorly concealed smugness written all over shachi's face. it's on penguin's too now, while bepo has long since abandoned the conversation to help you instead.
it's only because they've known law for so long that the duo know how much he likes you. no amount of scolding or scoffs can make them think otherwise.
the captain can tell by their smiles that they think they have the upper hand, but he ignores them. law speaks before they have a chance to open their mouths again.
"get the sub ready to surface." he orders, cocking his head in the direction of the control room. "we're stopping at the next island."
that seems to get their attention, their heads perking up at the thought of getting out of the cramped submarine. the duo give law their best salute, scrambling away to make preparations for the sub's surfacing.
law shakes his head and lets out a sigh, taking some strong steps toward you and bepo. your dynamic with the bear is one that melts his heart more than he'd ever admit. the way you can shift from witty and bright to determined and caring makes him want to explore every side of you.
he snaps out of his thoughts when you lightly reprimand bepo for stirring the batter too aggressively, a chuckle threatening to leave him.
an announcement is made throughout the sub to prepare the crew for what's to come.
reluctantly, law makes his leave. he'll have time, he'll have you, but he has to take a couple minutes to brace himself for what will happen once the rest of the crew leaves the submarine.
another half hour passes before the sub's hatch is opened.
the fresh air is much needed, the cool breeze like a balm that quells the unease in law's chest. a series of footsteps echo throughout the submarine as crew members make their way to the exit, smiles plastered on their faces.
this island seems lively, welcoming. the sun casts a bright glow over the town in the distance, a plethora of shops and eateries nestled side by side.
even though law is staying aboard, staying with you, there's a sense of proudness that rushes through him as he takes note of the relief plastered onto the faces of his crew. he doesn't let it show, but clearly their happiness affects him.
he lets them run loose, trusting them enough not to cause too much trouble.
his eyes do narrow at penguin and shachi though, the two men snickering a tad as they walk off with bepo in tow. it's like they see through his plot, his ulterior motive, and the captain gives them a look that serves as a warning.
as the blurb of orange jumpsuits fades out of view, law is left with the sound of crashing waves and a light breeze.
his grip tightens on kikoku's hilt, a gesture that he hopes makes what he's about to do a little more easy.
the scent of baked goods wafts out the door, overpowering the salty sea breeze without issue. he can hear you humming along to some random tune, talking to yourself as you navigate through the kitchen.
he follows the trail like a ship to a lighthouse, drawn in by the warmth and splash of color you add to his life.
upon walking into the kitchen, he takes note of how your back is turned to him. you're washing some dishes, the spoils of your work organized neatly on the counter. just the sight of all the sweets is enough to make his stomach ache, but he persists.
you call out to him first, catching him in those all too common moments when he gets lost in his head. "captain? i thought you were gonna head out with the others."
turning off the sink, you dry your hands off with a towel and focus your attention on him. he doesn't miss the slight tilting of your head, how your eyes glimmer with curiosity.
oh, he was horrible at this. no matter how many times he practiced the script in his head, you found a way to unintentionally mess with his psyche. maybe it was your hair, your eyes, everything.
"needed to finish some work here." he lies, so smooth with his words that you don't even think to question it.
with a nod, you give him that smile, the one that pops up in his head while he's reading and makes him lose focus. "if you finish up, maybe you can meet the others in town. or you can keep me company here."
he takes your words in with a hum of acknowledgement, watching you navigate through the kitchen with a natural ease. for a second, he allows the comfortable silence to stretch. he summons all of his courage, swallowing his pride and nodding toward the delicacies on the table.
"can iā¦" his jaw tenses, the temperature in the room feeling as though it's rising with every tick of the clock. he squeezes the hilt of his weapon more firmly, his throat feeling dry as he looks between your confused face and the frosted treats.
he gets it together, not asking, but declaring. "i want to try what you made."
your brows rise at his words. it's not like your captain to try your baked goods. you'd never taken offense to his reluctance, as you were well aware of his eating habits, but this is completely out of left field.
one could hear a pin drop, his request lingering in the air.
"youā¦ want to try them?" you echo back, unable to hide your skepticism. your eyes browse the array of treats, including the loaf of bread that was still cooling on its rack. "are you sure? which one?"
law doesn't mean to sound so snappy with his response, but internally he's freaking out. your doubt, the subtle concern in your voice, makes him want to prove himself even more.
"i'm sure." he insists, taking some steps toward you until he's at your side. his eyes scan the table, each morsel seeming to laugh in the face of his uncertainty. "i want to try each one."
your eyes follow his, the table sporting a variety of treats ranging from cookies to cupcakes to the star of the show, your fresh sourdough bread. in your head you prepare for disaster, creating a scene that's as comical as it is mildly concerning.
"if you lost a bet to penguin and shachiā¦" you start, giving him an apologetic glance.
he's quick to cut your accusation short. there are no bets, no pressure from anyone but himself. "no."
when he looks back at you, expectantly, as if he doesn't know how to approach this hurdle, you grab a plate and start to load it up. there was no way you were going to give him a full serving of anything, so you chop off a piece of each dessert and make what you think is a perfect sampler.
he takes the plate from you with a degree of reluctance, but the brushing of your fingers against his acts as a reminder as to why he's doing this. words aren't his specialty. hell, it's hard for him to show how much he cares in general, but he can do this. for you.
his tattooed fingers pick up a piece ofā¦ something. it looks sweet, like something he'd hand off to bepo. those black brows of his furrow a tad, as if he's trying to break down the pastry to an atomic level.
taking note of how he seems to be losing himself in his own thoughts, you speak up with confidence and snatch the remaining portion for yourself. "it's just a chocolate chip cookie." you explain, taking a bite of it yourself to show him how it's done. "flour, sugar, eggsā¦"
"understood." law sighs, trying and failing to act even remotely excited about what was to come.
his teeth sink into the cookie, only a small quarter piece, and he has to keep from making too much of a reaction. from the chocolate clinging to his tongue to the sweetness practically making his gums ache, he finds each chew to be a struggle.
but when his eyes lift to meet yours, seeing the look of anticipation on your face, he finds that the cookie isn't so hard to swallow.
his tongue peeks out to catch any remaining crumbs, shuddering as the sugary sweet taste lingers in his mouth.
he takes a step toward you, a small one, nodding his head and hoping you can't see the hints of pink starting to form on his cheeks. "it's good." he states, even though from your angle it had looked like he was trying to swallow glass. "what's the next one?"
it seems like eons have passed, perhaps the longest ten minutes law has ever lived through.
he swears his stomach is starting to hurt from the amount of sugar settling in there, and the smile you give him, the appreciation you show, doesn't make it feel any better. your presence makes him more jittery than any dessert, that much was certain.
while you were hesitant at first, not wanting him to strain himself, you can't deny that your sweets-averse captain willingly trying your concoctions was flattering, meaningful.
"okay, last one." you clap your hands together, glancing at the last piece of food on his sampling plate. it's a small chunk, not even worthy of being served as an appetizer, but to law, it might as well have been a death sentence. "the sourdough bread."
hearing the word alone makes law's jaw clench, his eyes narrowing as if he had a personal vendetta against the bread. even when he's picking it up, he can't help but scrutinize it.
"yeah, last one." he echoes back, his eyes finding yours in a sort of stubborn inquiry for support.
understanding what he needs, as usual, you grab a piece of the bread for yourself and hold it up. the nod you give him, allowing him to dictate the pace, seems to give him the confidence he needs to conquer this molehill he's made a mountain of.
after a playful countdown from you, he chucks the bread into his mouth and forces his teeth to bite down on it.
the first taste of it almost has him freezing up, his chest rising and falling slowly in an attempt to not let his nose wrinkle. the texture of the bread is killing him, the roughness of it seeming to scrape against his tongue in a way he's not particularly fond of.
hearing you hum in content, clearly pleased with the taste of your own creation, is almost like a slap to his pride- in a good way. he chews a bit more, it's almost damn painful, but he does it.
finally, when the last few chunks of bread are swallowed, law feels like he can breathe a sigh of relief.
"well, that's everything, captain." you smile, taking the plate from him and lightly placing into the sink. you're aware that this wasn't exactly easy for him, yet you're happy that he tried them. "what do you think? good enough for the crew?"
the answer should be obvious, as your treats were usually devoured within only a couple days of being made. law was confident that you could place ice in a bowl and the crew would eat it up without question.
"it'sā¦ good. everything was good." he replies, eyes following your every move. his heart feels a little more heavy in his chest, the lump in his throat harder to swallow than the goods he'd just tried. "the crew is lucky to have you."
i'm lucky to have you.
he inwardly curses himself for being so inexperienced with these matters and he places his hat on a nearby counter so he could run a hand through his hair. law is so caught up with his own inner turmoil that he doesn't notice how you grow a little bashful, how the laugh you give is more nervous than playful.
"thanks, captain." comes your response, the sound of clinking drawers filling the air as you started to properly store some of the goods for later. "that's sweet of you to say."
he hums, his way of telling you that he hears you. at the moment, he doesn't quite trust himself with speaking, his brows furrowing ever so slightly.
there is a comfortable silence for a few minutes, but it's not entirely suffocating. it's comfortable, almost welcoming. there are few people law was content to simply exist with, and you were one of them.
his mouth opens, your head tilting toward him as he states the obvious. "i hate bread."
it seems like a no brainer, your arms crossing while you change your position to face him better. "yeah, i know. what about it?"
law looks at you like he was looking at the desserts earlier. intense, almost scrutinizing, as if he would rather peer into your brain instead of hold a conversation.
"i hate bread." he repeats, the tension in his frame melting away a tad. "but i like it more when it's yours."
you're not sure how to respond to his admission, your jaw tense in a bid to keep it from falling to the floor. your captain is red faced, trying oh so hard not to just blurt out what he's been thinking for the past few months. it would be easy to get it out with a scoff, acting like it's not a big deal, but he knows you deserve better.
"everything has been better sinceā¦ since you joined." the confession is heavy, the implication clear. this was no simple talk between a captain and their crew member.
while his cheeks get hotter, his brows furrow, his gaze doesn't waver from yours. he's watching for every reaction, anything that he can pick up on to confirm or deny his hopes, hopes which he rarely grants himself to believe to be possible.
your smile is a balm, the relieved laugh you give making him release a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.
"i can never tell what's going on in your head." your shoulders rise and fall with each chuckle, your chest buzzing at his words, at what can, will, come from this. "you didn't have to try all the food. especially the bread. you know that, right?"
his lips tug upward into a small smirk, his confidence growing upon seeing how you're reacting to him. it's enough to make him take a few steps forward until he's right before you.
"thought it would be a good way to show you that i mean what i'm saying." he answers, the taste and feel of the treats now long forgotten. "besides, i see how disappointed you get when i don't try them."
the way your eyes avert, the small tilt in your head, only highlights your guilt. "yeah, okay, maybe a little, but i wasn't gonna force you to eat bread. and all those sweetsā¦"
"i'll have to get used to it." his shoulders shrug, his expression going back into that more nonchalant one that you're used to seeing on him.
the words have your brows furrowing in confusion. "what do you mean? are you going to start joining us for baking day?"
"no. i'm not eating bread ever again, so consider yourself lucky for being the only one to see it happen." he casually states, silently reveling in how you react, before he allows his smirk to grow a little more wide. "i just have a feeling that you're sweeter, and i'm not planning on giving you up any time soon."
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Forgotten Consequences
PAIRING ā© jake x reader (bsfs little brother au)
SUMMARY ā© Your bestfriends little brother comes back from Australia and catches your attention despite knowing the consequences
WARNINGS ā© ages arenāt specified but reader is a few years older than Jake and considers him ābarely an adultā, RLLY ROUGH SM*T, like no joke itās rough be warned, consent is there even though reader says no (she def wants it!), d*ddy is used sorry lolā¦ this is straight up p*rn so thereās your warning. Jake is rough and borders obsessive
WC ā© 5.7k
AUTHORS NOTE ā© Not exactly pleased my return to the writing world is basically PWP lol but here it isā¦ thereās a larger story here Iām considering writing so lmk if youāre interested. Sorry to keep you guys missing me, take this as an apology piece
āYour brother is a lot taller than I remember him being Chaeyoung.ā
You briefly glanced over to the side once you heard Lilyās voice start to whisper, seeing her leaning into the other girls side as she tried to be as discreet as possible.
Both of them were staring out at something in the yard and you followed their gaze until you landed on Jake standing in the corner, picking up something off of the snack table and looking as bored as you felt at this ridiculous party.
āIf you hook up with my little brother Iāll actually kill you.ā Chaeyoungās voice was flat and deadly serious but her face didnāt show any actual signs of caring about the conversation, rolling her eyes and taking a sip of her drink before looking away and letting Lily lay on her shoulder.
Your eyebrow raised slightly at the interaction before your gaze was floating back over to the boy instinctively.
He hadnāt been home from the dance school in Australia long and this was only your second time seeing him since. Youād grown up together but youād never paid him much mind outside of when Chaeyoung gave him funny makeovers and made him dance to girl group songs with you and your friends. Other than that he wasnāt necessarily somebody on your radar.
It was impossible to not notice the difference in him now.
Mainly the fact he was almost double the size he had been when he left, clearly hitting puberty now and apparently the gym considering how large his shoulders looked underneath the washed out black hoodie he was wearing.
Heād obviously gotten a new sense of style in his time away too and it was one that you were almost annoyingly attracted to. His hair was longer and stuck in his face most the time, earbuds peaking out from behind the dark strands whenever he pushed it back with his large hand and you couldāve sworn youād posted the shoes he was currently wearing on your Instagram story a few months ago.
You watched him as he started to make his way back inside, completely ignoring the party going on around him and not even sparing a glance at the people in his backyard and living room.
When he was younger, he always wanted to be involved, especially when it had to do with Chaeyoung and your friends. You remember seeing her send him back up to his room dozens of times when he tried to hang out with you guys, always greeting you and the others enthusiastically.
A frown was forming on your face at his indifferent attitude before you were glancing back at your friends, glad to see they were lost in their own conversation and not noticing the way your eyes had been locked on your bestfriends little brother for the better part of the last ten minutes.
They were so distracted that they also didnāt notice the way you were scooting off of the outdoor bench, adjusting your skirt and balancing yourself slightly before you were heading inside and following the path youād seen the younger boy taking. You were a bit thrown off when you entered the house again, the atmosphere a lot more intense and dizzying than the outside partygoers had been.
But you knew Jake wouldnāt have stuck around this type of environment long so you pushed your way through the crowd and continued on your way upstairs to where you knew heād be, raising your fist and knocking on his door before you thought twice about it.
You froze up slightly at the speed in which he swung open his bedroom door, a heavy glare set on his face and you could hear music coming from deeper in the room, having seemingly abandoned his headphones. His eyes widened for just a second when he realized it was you in the hallway before he was forcing on an expression of indifference.
āY/N? Whats up?ā He was asking but his tone was lazy like he didnāt care, luckily you knew better and could clearly read the curiosity in his eyes.
You ignored his question and pushed into the room, taking a deep breath once inside before turning towards him with a raised eyebrow. He was sighing and closing the door behind you, leaning against it for a second once he realized what your expression was directed towards.
āYou smoke?ā You were finally speaking and he tensed at the sound of your voice, looking way more intimidating with the way he was lazily leaned against his door and accidentally trapping you inside the room. You took a seat on his bed and watched him curiously, waiting for an answer.
You didnāt necessarily need one considering you were now noticing how lazy his eyes were, gaze low and hazy as he stared at you sitting on his bed and the corner of his lips turned up into a half smirk at your stern voice and scolding demeanor.
āYou gonna tell on me Y/N?ā His tone was teasing now and you kept watching him as he pushed off the door, crossing the room until he was flopping back into his bed.
Luckily he kept some distance between the two of you, sitting up so his back was propped up on his headboard and his knee was pointed towards the ceiling. You were still sitting on the edge of his bed but you turned your body so you could face him better, adjusting your skirt with the movement. You took one final glance towards the door, eyes falling down to the turned lock on the knob.
āIām sure I could be convinced to not tell.ā You were responding to him slowly, keeping your voice light so he knew you werenāt serious. His eyes darkened a touch but you continued on with your light teasing. āMaybe if you were open to sharing.ā
You werenāt exactly sure how you ended up in Jake Simās bedroom smoking weed with him, sitting fully on his bed now with your legs crossed underneath you and grazing fingers every time he passed the bowl over in your direction.
You kept picturing Chaeyoung walking into the room, seeing the way you were looking at him every time he was breathing smoke outwards into the air. You wondered if sheād care, wondered if sheād realize where your mind had gone and then youād shift on the bed and feel the tension in the room and know there was no way she wouldnāt suffocate in it.
He was watching you now in a way that you knew was past the line of friendly, miles past the line of being your bestfriends younger brother, and for the first time since entering his room you got nervous. So nervous that you inhaled wrong and the smoke traveled to a tighter part of your chest, sending you lurching forward in a rough cough as you patted your torso a couple times to try and clear your airways.
Jake was chuckling at your amateurish smoking skills and you sent him a glare as another cough ripped through you, moving your hand to send a soft punch towards his knee for his teasing.
āWanna know a better way to get the smoke down?ā His voice was low, lower than it already was and you remember being frozen the first time you heard him speak when he originally got back, deep and silky as he muttered a halfhearted greeting in your direction.
You gave him a curious look even though you already had an idea of where this was heading, wondering how far he was planning to take this. You only responded with a soft nod now that your coughs had died down and left your throat with a burning sensation, worsening when a gasp ripped through you at the feeling of him wrapping his hands underneath your knees and tugging you closer on the bed.
He moved you completely effortlessly and your eyes were wide and panicked, still sitting with your legs crossed but now you were directly in front of him and your knees were bumping into one of his, his other leg stretch out along your side and effectively forming a cage around you.
āDonāt do anything stupid.ā Your warning was coming out far less stern than youād hoped it would, voice weak and almost teasing again despite how serious you were.
His eyebrow cocked at this and you immediately knew it was the wrong thing to say considering the challenging glint forming in his eye now. He was swaying forward so his face was close to yours, way too close considering you felt his nose graze you for just a second before he was pulling back so he could stare down at your tense features.
āKeep your mouth open.ā He was speaking suddenly and you could feel his breath on your lips, his tone light but commanding enough that for some reason you were immediately nodding your head and parting your lips for him.
He wasnāt wasting any time, sitting up enough so he could light the bowl once more and inhale it deep, holding it there in his chest easily for a few seconds before he was leaning forward and pressing his lips against yours. It wasnāt a kiss but it was enough for your eyes to flutter closed, leaning forward to press tighter against him but still not enough to feel his mouth completely on yours.
It was completely sensual, the way he was breathing out the smoke into your mouth from his own, almost suffocating as you inhaled a shaky breath softly and swayed further against him to try to avoid letting it escape.
āBreathe it in.ā He was directing you again now that the smoke was out of his mouth and inside yours, not bothering to lean back and give you space as he started to speak and you could feel his lip brushing against yours for just a second. āCāmon hold it for me. You can take it deeper than that.ā
Your eyes were widening in surprise at his suggestive words, letting the smoke out before you were planning to and sitting up straight to try and put some distance between the two of you. He didnāt seem bothered at all by your reaction and for a second you wondered if you had just misheard him, let your own guilty thoughts and insecurities take his words to mean something besides smoking.
It didnāt help that your stomach was flipping with want now, face reddening and getting warmer as you replayed what he had said in your mind.
āDo it again.ā You were requesting it in a whisper and you werenāt exactly sure what you were asking for, judging yourself for secretly hoping heād repeat his innuendo laced words so you could hear it in his voice again. Instead he was grabbing the bowl and placing it between the two of you, lighting it again and inhaling.
You didnāt have too much time to be disappointed considering he was immediately lowering it and connecting your lips again, not even giving you time to open your mouth to collect the smoke.
He seemed to take matters into his own hands and you felt his tongue pressing against your sealed lips, prying them open so he could tilt his head and funnel the smoke into your throat. For a second you were chasing after his tongue with your own, nearly kissing him fully in a deeper lust fueled high, but he was cupping your jaw briefly and closing your mouth so you were forced to breathe in the smoke.
It was settling deep in your chest and this time you held it for him, looking up at him slightly through your eyelashes with watery eyes and he had a more satisfied expression on his face now that you were listening to him.
āGood girl.ā He was humming out the word casually but your mouth parted in surprise, legs instinctively clenching together as you let the smoke filter back out and hit his face instead. The smirk on his face told you that he had definitely noticed your reaction and you were starting to lose all feelings of guilt and hesitation, being replaced with something much more terrible.
Something so intense that you couldnāt stop yourself from rocking forward and pressing your lips against his fully.
He thankfully was immediately reciprocating and you tried not to think about where he learned to kiss this intensely, hands coming up to cup your face and keep you locked against him as you moved together. Youād rocked forward so far that you nearly knocked him over back against the bed, leaning over his lap now as you desperately kissed him deeper and deeper.
It took for his hand sliding down your back, attempting to pull you fully onto his awaiting lap, for you to snap out of it and sit up straight with a small gasp.
Your hand was reaching up to touch your lips and you tried to ignore the fact they were wet from his mouth, looking at him and scanning from his confused eyes down to his own swollen lips that most likely mirrored the state of your own. Your body was lit up with need and it didnāt help that he was still touching you, hand resting on your lower back like he was waiting for you to kiss him again.
āWe canāt do this.ā You were telling him sternly in a panicked voice, shaking your head desperately to try and make sure he understood and that your point was getting across to him.
His hand was sliding down lower and roughly squeezing, resting on the curve of your ass and sending your hips forward and more onto his. A soft gasp was slipping from your mouth, followed by a breathy whine at the feeling of him hardening and pressing against your front, even more unbearable considering he wasnāt moving his hand and was instead softly groping your behind and rocking you against him.
āBut weāre going to.ā He was responding to your rejection in a casual tone, sounding more confident than he was pushy and you let out another soft whine as you gave him a bewildered look. āYou followed me up here, you came into my room in this tiny little skirt and climbed into my bed because you wanted me to fuck you.ā
You were instinctively shaking your head in panicked denial but your hands were going to his shoulders, pulling yourself forward onto his lap fully and mewling softly at the feeling of him completely pressing against you.
He didnāt say anything else as you started to desperately move against him, your head falling forward and landing in the crook of his neck as you lifted yourself up and down slowly so you could feel him under you at every possible angle. His large hands were holding you roughly and lifting you every time you struggled, pushing your skirt up further on your hips so he could feel your bare skin and lace panties.
āFuck fuck.ā You were panting out into his neck and arching your back into him, a shiver rolling down your spine when he was harshly tugging at your underwear so it was pressed painfully against your sensitive clit.
āGod, do you always get this wet?ā He was finally started to sound affected and you let out an embarrassed sob at his words, hand sliding up the back of his neck until it was tangled in his long hair. You imagined you were already a mess considering how desperate you were feeling, an overwhelming heat mixing with your high and stopping you from thinking about anything other than Jake.
āLet me fuck you baby, let daddy fix this.ā He was talking so sweetly in your ear in his low voice.
You were shaking your head again but you already knew your resolve was falling apart, feeling nearly inhuman with how much you longed to be full of something, especially if it was him. You were aching in your panties and the forbidden image of your best friends little brother stuffing you and making the ache go away was nearly making you drool.
āHow old are you Jae?ā You were gasping out and lifting your head out of his neck to look at his face clearly, fearing his response and knowing you had a right to the fear considering for the first time his eyes flashed with guilt and worry. You were quickly doing the math in your head and gasping again, sitting up even more and stopping your rocking against him. āOh my god youāre barely legal.ā
He suddenly looked really annoyed and you felt bad for getting this far with him, knowing you had no choice but to stop what you were doing and reject the boy before anything more happened.
Messing around with your best friends brother was one thing but doing it while he was just barely an official adult was too much for your conscience, even if you werenāt that much older than him.
He seemed to have a totally different idea than you considering he was scoffing in annoyance before he was pausing and then flipping you completely over, ripping a shriek from you as your back unexpectedly hit the bed and he was left hovering over you. You froze up in shock as he impatiently undid the buttons on your skirt that was still pushed up on your waist, tugging it down and tossing it somewhere across the room.
āDonāt act like you care about how old I am.ā He was barely looking at you as he spoke with anger lacing his voice, looking at your nearly bare bottom half for a few seconds before he was glancing up at you to check for your reaction. āLet me eat your pussy.ā
You were letting out a loud laugh of disbelief, lacking any humor as you clamped your thighs shut and shook your head. āI mean it Jake, we canāt do this. Itās wrong.ā
His large hands were squeezing your ankles for a second before sliding up your legs softly, your breath getting shakier as he reached your knees and slowly separated your legs. You both could tell you werenāt actually showing any attempt to stop him, not even putting up a fight as he lowered his face closer to your core and you could feel his breath over the wet spot covering your panties.
āItās wrong that you want my tongue so bad your thighs are soaked.ā He was talking in between the kisses he was laying on your skin, getting closer and closer to the thin fabric separating you and the point of no return. āWould be wrong to let you leave my room without my cum in your stomach.ā
āPlease, you need to stop.ā You were breathing it out in a moan once he finally was placing a kiss over your covered core, softly running his tongue along your wetness and humming softly. The vibrations went straight to your clit and your hips rolled off the bed, pushing his face straight against you. āOh fuck.ā
He let out something that sounded almost like a growl before he was pushing your panties to the side and diving into your wet folds, wasting no time in sticking his tongue as deep as he possibly could get it and ignoring the way you nearly screamed and tried to close your legs around his head. He used his free hand to aggressively slam your knee back against the bed, opening you up completely for him and practically making out with your cunt.
It was completely lewd and disgusting, the wet noises filling the room as he ate you out with a level of expertise that almost made your stomach turn with curiosity if it wasnāt for how good he was making you feel.
Your hand was going to his hair to pull him out of your core but plans changed when he was sucking your clit into his mouth softly, instead keeping him locked in place with his long strands between your fingers. He abandoned your sensitive bud to go back to trying to stick his tongue as deep inside you as he could, turning his head so he was pushing into your tight hole and he moaned against you, the vibration nearly pulling another scream from you.
āPlease Jake, oh my god please.ā You almost thought you were begging for him to stop but you both knew you werenāt, lifting your hips up every time he tried to take a breath in an attempt to keep him buried in your cunt as long as possible.
āWanna cum on my tongue or my cock baby?ā He was lifting his head up to question you and you were thrown off by how easily it rolled off his tongue, how confident he seemed to be in being able to fuck you properly and make you cum with no question. You rarely came from hookups and definitely left unsatisfied more often than not but something about the glare in his eyes made you believe him.
You were apparently taking too long to answer considering he was climbing back on top of you and adjusting you slightly, moving your body like it weighed nothing.
āDonāt know how long Iāve wanted you like this Y/N. Going to show you what a real man feels like inside this slutty little hole.ā He was reaching down and rubbing his fingers against you for emphasis, smirking when you let out a shaky breath and your stomach clenched. āBeg for daddy to fuck you baby, let everyone hear how much you want me.ā
You were shaking your head and letting out an actual sob now, tears heavy as they rolled down your face and landed on the bed underneath you. He looked completely unaffected by your emotional reaction to the humiliation and pure want you felt for him.
It didnāt matter what he said now and it didnāt matter even if his sister walked into the room and saw him on top of you like this, youād realized from the second you entered the room that youād let him do anything to you that he wanted and that fact drove you absolutely insane with guilt and embarrassment. He seemed to know it as much as you did considering he was silent and patient as he waited for you to get ahold of yourself, knowing youād end up begging for him regardless.
āPlease Jake I need you so bad, need you to fuck me baby please.ā You were pleading with him through a sob, grabbing onto his shoulders and trying to lift your hips to meet his and show him how desperate you were.
His eyes darkened the more you spoke and for the first time since entering his room you felt genuinely anxious, letting out a cry as he swiftly moved his hand up so it was pressing on your throat and restricting your breathing. Your eyes widened at his sudden aggression even though you were beginning to understand your mistake.
āSay it again and say it right or Iāll throw you out of my room with nothing but your dripping cunt.ā He was leaning down to spit the words into your ear and you let out an embarrassing whine, another rush of heat running through you. āYou like that huhā¦ like when I get rough with you?ā
You were nodding the best you could with his hand around your throat, the sting of the pressure making more wetness rush out of you as complete desperation took over your mind and left you feeling dizzy and out of it. Out of it enough that your tongue was hanging out of your mouth before you realized it, mouth opening as you stared up at him with watering eyes and heavy eyelashes.
He let off some of the tension around your throat just enough for you to be able to speak in a weak voice.
āPlease daddy please give me your spit, Iāll be a good girl I promise.ā You were practically sobbing as you begged him and his eyes were basically darkened to pitch black at this point, staring down at you with a hunger youād never experienced from someone before. āCan do whatever you want to me, Iāll take it.ā
Jake aggressively gripped your jaw and tugged your head closer towards his, waiting until you were eagerly sticking your tongue back out for him so he could spit roughly into your mouth. Before you got a chance to swallow it he was chasing after his spit with his own tongue, licking against yours until he was practically in your throat. You hummed softly and bobbed your head so he was even deeper, wanting him inside you in every way humanly possible.
āGod youāve gotta let me fuck you now or Iām going to hurt you.ā He was pulling back to speak through gritted teeth, nearly looking pained as he was roughly sitting you up and tugging off the sweater youād been wearing, leaving you completely bare outside of your panties that were beyond stretched from the way he was holding them.
āHurt me.ā You were begging him for it before you even processed that you wanted it, the imagine of him holding you down and shoving himself so deep inside you that you couldnāt handle the stretch making your stomach tighten with want. āPlease Jake hurt me.ā
āDonāt even know what youāre fucking begging for, youāre such a slut you donāt even care how I fuck you.ā He sounded so angry but you knew he was just as affected as you, tugging you up and back into his lap so you were straddling him again. He sucked one of your nipples into his mouth for just a second before he was letting it go to speak again. āWanna drag you down to that packed living room and take you in front for everyone there, let everyone watch me stuff you so deep your stomachs bulging.ā
You were dizzy now, almost worried you were going to pass out from how overwhelmed you were and heād barely even touched you so far.
You were desperately rolling your hips into his again and he was surprisingly letting you, guiding you as you bounced in his lap and practically rode him despite the fact he was still fully clothed. The image of you, bouncing on his hard on while practically naked and dripping down your thighs compared to him being fully dressed and composed made you feel even dizzier and you found yourself longing for what he was describing.
āGonna make me feel so full daddy please, Iām sorry.ā You could feel his hardness pressing against you every time you bounced and you were so turned on you couldnāt even find the time to be embarrassed you were probably soaking the fabric of his pants, the time to be humiliated you were calling a boy younger than you daddy.
āShould be fucking sorry.ā He was growling out the words again and flipping you over easily so your stomach was on the bed instead, lifting you up by your hips so your ass was perfectly presented for him.
He didnāt hesitate before he was sending a sharp smack to your bare skin, immediately ripping a pained yelp from you that faded off into a desperate whine. You were adjusting yourself so you were pushing your ass towards him more and silently communicating you wanted him to hit you again, sobbing into his bed and pressing your face into the blanket to try to muffle the sounds of your cries.
Thankfully, he was understanding and roughly hitting you again. You knew he wasnāt using his full strength considering how strong he was but he definitely wasnāt going easy on you and you could feel yourself leaking even more at the pain.
āTell me youāre sorry for never looking my way when I was a kid.ā His words were barely being processed by you since you were so dizzy but you cried harder at the sound of his deep voice commanding you. āSorry for being such a fucking slut but never giving me the chance to fill this pussy up.ā
āOnly want you to fill me please.ā You were being immeasurably too loud but you didnāt even slightly care, completely serious in your desires for him to be inside you no matter who was watching. āM so sorry Jae please, please.ā
You could hear the sound of his belt coming undone behind you and you nearly cried with relief, adjusting even more so you were completely presenting your ass and core to him. You wanted him to see how much you belonged to him so heād have no choice but to fuck you.
He mustāve finished undressing his lower half because you could feel him pressing against you and your back arched at the realization his skin was pressing against yours, a loud whine sounding through the room when you felt his bare cock rubbing against your folds and thighs experimentally. You pushed against him harder and he reached up to squeeze the fat around your hips roughly in annoyance, a silent warning as he groaned softly.
āGonna stuff you now and youāre going to lay here and take it.ā He was grunting as he spoke and you sucked in a sharp breath when the head of his cock caught on your hole, pushing in just enough for you to realize he was a lot thicker than youād prepared for. āFuck youāre so tight, Iām going to end up in your stomach.ā
You arched at his words and whined into his blankets, pushing your hips back against his so he was going deeper inside you. The stretch was knocking the air out of your chest but you nearly cried with how full he was going to make you feel.
āPlease daddy please, Iāll be such a good girl for you I promise.ā You were pathetically pleading with him and you knew for a fact that if anybody had drunkenly wondered upstairs they could definitely hear you, but you didnāt care about anything other than him in this moment and he was driving you crazy with how slow he was pushing into you.
He was finally losing his control and fucking himself deep inside of you in one go, bottoming out as you both took deep breaths and tried not to lose it before youād even started.
The sound of him groaning above you was making you even more needy and you were overwhelmed with how much you wanted to keep hearing him make sounds like that, instinctively clenching around his length and feeling the way he was throbbing deep inside you.
You were basically sobbing with pleasure just from his first stroke into you when he pulled out completely, your body reacting intensely to the emptiness as you immediately looked over your shoulder and prepared to beg for him to fuck you again, stopping mid sentence when he was turning you back over on your back so you were able to see him again.
He was slamming himself back into you before you even adjusted to the position and he felt ten times deeper now, a pained grunt falling from your lips as he started to finally actually fuck you.
āFuck youāre so fucking tight Y/N. I thought you were a whore but you feel brand new for me baby.ā His facial expression as he spoke through gritted teeth and continued to thrust into you made you dizzy and you desperately reached out to hold his arms to try and ground yourself.
āJust for y-you Jake, only wanna be this full with you.ā You were practically delirious as you cried and spoke to him but your words seemed to turn him on more considering he was slamming into you harder, clearly enjoying the level of ownership you were voicing towards him.
You didnāt want to internalize any of the things he said about you not paying attention to him before, knowing if you stopped and considered what he was implying youād not be able to go through with this.
He was skilled at distracting you considering he was reaching forward to aggressively grab at your wrist, placing your hand against your stomach and pressing down so harshly you grunted in upset as your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. The lack of understanding didnāt last long considering it took only two more rolls of his hips inside you for you to feel what he was intending, your stomach bulging slightly from his size forcing itself deeper.
āFeel that?ā He was rasping and you looked up to meet his gaze for the first time since he entered you, taken back by how dark and deadly his eyes were. āYouāre mine now.ā
You were nodding quickly in confirmation, not because you agreed with what he was saying necessarily but because of the wave of fear you felt seeing how serious and cold his expression was.
He had managed to already get you shockingly close between the foreplay and rough manhandling and it wasnāt long before you were feeling the familiar tightness in your stomach, only worsening when he was leaning down and catching your mouth in the sloppiest kiss of the night. It was bordering painful and filthy, exactly what you needed to distract you from how wrong this was and exactly what you needed to have you finishing around his length with a sharp inhale into his mouth.
You wrapped your arms around his neck to keep him kissing you even after youād came, letting him know it was okay to keep fucking himself deeper inside you.
It was just enough to help you forget everything outside of the feeling of him on top of you and you felt drunk with how much you wanted to stay in this moment. You were terrified by how much he seemed worth the consequences when you had him like this, how much you wanted him even when the door was swinging open and a loud shriek was coming from the hallway.
#enhypen#enhypen drabbles#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen smut#jake fanfic#jake fanfiction#jake au#jake enhypen#jake smut#jake sim#sim jake#enhypen jake#jake x reader#enhypen au#enhypen hard hours#enhypen fic
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The IU-3 Billhook is, above all, a really bizarre mech. This was actually one of the first chassis designs produced by the PDR, a few months after they had already been facing down Purview teams, but it ain't your typical line mech. See, the Republic obviously can't outdo the Armory on quality or quantity in a straight up fight, so they got clever with these little bastards when a head on engagement was unavoidable. The first thing you'll notice is the giant tumorous growth of a shell hanging off the back. It's got a few minor hardpoints in it, along with a ton of reactive armor, enough to draw attention and make you assume it's a weakpoint that would cripple the machine if you took it out- but it's actually just an empty, detachable storage unit, only occasionally carrying some non-volatile supplies. The entire damn chassis is built like that, everything put in a weird place and disguised as something it isn't- even the joints have an annoyingly weird placement that makes maintenance a pain, but if that means offsetting the amount of bullets you have to pull out, I guess it's a win. Overall, it's substandard to even some outdated SP1 models, but with how cheap it is to build and how effective the gimmick can be, it sees a lot of use. That's just the thing, though, it's a gimmick. If the enemy knows what horseshit you're trying to pull, all you've done is bring a knife to a gun fight- so, usually, these things are the first units to see combat in any given conflict, and are outfitted for an alpha strike without regard to operating time or endurance. Single-shot weapons with fuck-off payloads, the works. On the high-mobility types that are built for repeated engagements, though, you've got a more standard loadout, and the storage unit gets filled to the brim with gyroscopes and reaction wheels alongside some crazy FCS that lets you get some damn good mileage out of the PD lasers in the antennae when you're up close.
i was having artblock trying to think of an idea and my friend said to me "hey, why don't you make a mech based on, i dunno, a snail?" and i told her "primrose pandora screamermod you are a fucking genius" and then spent 3 days making this thing along with the above flavor text for it. does this count as an oc, who knows but i'm posting it now because jegus dick it took a long ass time
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I saw your post about writing for Coriolanus Snow Andi was thinking classic enemies to lovers nsfw Iāll give you free liberty with everything else š
'I hate you' is new 'I love you'
Pairing: Coriolanus Snow x capitol!reader (gender neutral afab)
Summary: When your professor tells you to come to an agreement with your enemy, and you take 'come' too literally.
Words: 3.2k
Themes: smut, nsfw
Warnings: using of 'you' to reader, set before events of tbosas so no actual spoilers, more like academic rivals to lovers but they want to fight at some point so I guess it counts, NSFW | public sex (or more semi-public), unprotected sex (wrap it before tap it), p in v sex, kinda toxic but it's enemies to lovers, more like enemies who fuck, Coryo is pretty rough and possessive, marking, making out, idiots in love but they prefer fighting with each other
Author's note: I found some free time between studying, so I decided that I can no longer delay. English is not my first language so i hope that i didn't do too much mistakes. It is possible that a single "she" or "her" will appear here because I changed the concept during writing and I do not know if I got rid of everything. Let me know whether to stay with the use of 'you' or maybe replace it with personal pronouns or 'y/n'. I hope it's not written very awkwardly and you will like it!!
Coriolanus Snow is a peculiar person. Most people love him. Nice, classy, handsome and rich from a wealthy family. What more could one want? However, one of Coriolanus' traits that everyone seems to turn a blind eye to is his two-facedness. Some say this is merely a symptom of his cunning and wits. He knows when and how to behave to make his counterpart happy. You are not one of those people. Saying that you and Coriolanus Snow don't like each other is a huge understatement. You guys hate each other. From the very beginning when you both met at the academy it was known that you would cause a lot of problems. Too much of a character difference, or perhaps too much of a similarity between the two. However, this is not what is crucial. Whatever it is, it makes you two most likely to kill each other if you could. Every move you make you do to screw each other up. To prove who is better.
Professor Satyria's pleas for you to finally come to an agreement are of little use. The conflict must go on, and neither of you has any intention of giving up.
You like the way things are working out. At first, Snow was annoying and you didn't understand how people couldn't see him for what he really was. Fake. Now he is still annoying, but getting under his skin has become a sort of routine. Quite a pleasant one.
"You have to get along with each other and set a good example as rightful citizens of the Capitol, otherwise the Academy will draw out the consequences."
Professor Satyria's words continue to ring in your ears as you get ready to go home after finishing classes and doing punishment work. On the one hand, you don't want something as silly as arguing to weigh on your future, but on the other hand, reaching out to agree is like admitting you were wrong. Failure.
"Wherever I am you must also appear. Are you obsessed with me?" Behind your back, you heard a familiar, annoyingly kind voice, in which you could sense some arrogance. You groaned turning around to see no one else but Coriolanus.
"Don't you have anything better to do? People are finally getting tired of your idiocy?" Your words, however, did not budge the blond. His expression remained unchanged. One that might make most people think he is a nice person. You, however, have known him long enough to see right through it. Perfect. Too perfect.
"We need to talk. A positive outcome for both sides. It will interest you." Well, the threat of Satyria. He is the first one to extend his hand for agreement. Where is the trick? You look at him suspiciously without saying a word, and so Snow takes it as a sign that you are thinking about the proposition. "Do you have free time? Maybe we could go out somewhere together?"
The suggestion makes you burst into laughter. "With you? No thanks, I'll pass on this pleasure."
Coriolanus is not surprised by your answer. He knew it wouldn't be that easy. Accepting rejection, however, is not his strong point. He is annoyed by your behaviour, but he bites his tongue to avoid responding in the same spiteful way. Instead, he doesn't give up.
"I know we were never on good terms, but I want this war between us to end. I hope we can put behind us all the bad things that happened between us and start fresh. What do you think about this?" he says, sounding quite sincere.
"Let me think." You say and sigh, pondering the answer, which is obvious, but you can't let go of a little malice. "No."
The expression on Snow's face became more serious. It seems that your refusal offended his pride. But he doesn't show it in his tone of voice.
"Why not?" he asks and you notice how he clenches his jaw and his gaze becomes unpleasant.
You enjoy the view and it fills you with satisfaction. "Because you think that with a pretty face and fake politeness, you can get anything. Maybe it works with others, but I'm not that stupid. Additionally, you are damn annoying. That's why."
The expression on Snow's face becomes dark. Typical when he fails to get what he wants. His usual tone is completely gone. His face is twisted with anger. He still tries to maintain a polite voice. The attempt fails.
"Do you want to repeat it?" he asks through his teeth. It's obvious that you've hit one of his sensitive points. That was the plan.
"Exhausting, isn't it? Hiding behind the mask of a nice and put-together boy from a highly placed family who is a veritable ideal is tiring, isn't it?" A mockery can be heard in your voice. Coriolanus is very sensitive to it.
"What do you think you know about me?" He asks through clenched teeth, his tone no longer artificially polite, it is filled with rage. Your mockery has really gotten to him. He tries to calm down, but it's all in vain. Coriolanus has never had problems with self-control, but something about you makes him ready to abandon everything. You manage to get him off balance with ease. In his head, he has one plan. To destroy you.
"Do you think you pretend so well?" You burst out laughing and shake your head. You know you shouldn't say such things. The academy is practically empty, and Coriolanus's angry enough can be unpredictable. However, you can't help but point out everything that annoys you about him. "It's actually quite easy to see what kind of person you are. You look at people with disgust, but when they look in your direction, you suddenly change dramatically. how fake you are to everyone. I wonder how they don't see it. How empty and shallow you are."
"You don't know anything about me!" Snow shouts at you, his face twisted with rage. He is barely able to control himself. He doesn't even try to hide it anymore. He stares at you with hatred in his eyes.
"Don't you dare assume that you know everything about me. You don't know me one bit. You don't know what my life is like. Don't think so highly of yourself. You aren't better than me." He continues, his voice getting louder with every word he says. You really hit his sensitive spot.
"I don't know everything and I'm not going to pretend otherwise. For me, the most important thing is acts, and in your case, they are fake and two-faced. You despise people, and you yourself are at the bottom." Irritation takes over. You know that at any moment you can say one word too many if you haven't already. However, someone has to talk it all out for him. Adrenaline makes you take a step closer to the upset boy without considering the possible consequences.
Snow seems to be on the verge of a breakdown. His fists are clenched and his eyes are wide open with rage. He is breathing hard, trying to control himself. He's not used to being treated this way by anyone. He has come this far over the years, solely because of himself and what role he has taken in society. You really succeeded in hurting his pride. "I warn you right now. Don't mock me any further."
"Why? What will you do? hit me? do it, I dare you. Then everyone will see how "perfect" you really are." You know the situation is starting to get dangerous. However, you come closer. It's stupid, you know it, and yet you do it. Maybe it's the way his reactions give you satisfaction, or maybe it's the way he looks at you.
You can see the hatred oozing from his eyes when they are locked on yours. His face is full of rage, his breathing heavy and his muscles tense.
He takes a step toward you with a clenched fist. You can see his knuckles turning white. He grabs you and presses you against the wall, his body against yours.
A second later, you feel him pressing you against the wall tighter than before, and his hand grips your throat.
You feel the warmth of his breath on your lips. Your heart is pounding as if it wants to jump out of your chest. You feel a strange sensation in your lower abdomen. His eyes are cold, yet they make a pleasant shiver run through your body. His face is right next to yours, flesh pressing against yours. It was a matter of split seconds as you two pressed your lips to each other in an aggressive and hungry kiss.
He returns the kiss, wrapping his free hand around you. He seems to enjoy the kiss as much as you do.
You can feel his body trembling as he still tries to keep control of his overwhelming emotions, or maybe it's because of the situation you're in.
The two of you kiss aggressively. Snow's body shakes as he fights between his desire and how much you get on his nerves. You feel how rough but passionate his kiss is.
He draws you closer and your bodies press against each other. The friction of your bodies makes you uncontrollable over the muffled whimpers you make. You feel the bulge forming in his pants rubbing against your body.
The situation seems hazy, and only fragments register in your mind. How you both enter the bathroom without stopping your hungry and clumsy kisses, and your hands work to get rid of clothes that only makes it difficult. How Coriolanus presses your body against the wall slamming his hips against yours.
All this is to express yourself and give vent to all the negative emotions you have been holding for years.
Snow's body is now almost completely controlled by his emotions. His movements seem full of hatred and at the same time passion. He just wants to express himself using his flesh to claim you as his own.
You feel as if you are on fire, your body moves and reacts according to your desires. The tension that has built up between you for years is finally released, and it all comes out as raw passion.
His fast and aggressive movements make the place where your bodies meet burn in a pleasant way, and you think to yourself that it will be a miracle if you walk normally tomorrow. His dick stretches you nicely and his movements make your inside sting slightly. It's not a problem for now. Not now when your legs are wrapped around his waist and the only sounds you can make right now are moaning and repeating his name like a mantra.
Your body trembles at how rough his movements are, but you don't care now. The most important thing for you now is to show him how much you hate him. A broken moan leaves your lips when he reaches deeper.
Coriolanus feels your legs tighten around him. He moves slower now but is more passionate and rough. He holds your hips tightly, not caring if it is uncomfortable for you. His lips move to your neck, where he bites as if he is trying to unload all the emotions you are causing you this way.
His hips buck firmly against you. Each thrust makes your body more tired and aching but at the same time, it makes the whole experience even more pleasurable. If someone told you that you would end up having sex with your biggest rival in the academy bathroom, you would laugh in that person's face. There you are, panting, with your arms around his neck when Coriolanus Snow is abusing your cunt sensitive from too much friction.
Coriolanus brings his lips closer to your ear. His warm and irregular breathing makes a shiver go through your body. "Do you like it when I claim you as mine?" He purrs, his voice still filled with desire.
"I hate you, I hate you so much," You exhale in a trembling voice that takes a lot of trouble to keep from cracking. You bite and suck at the smooth skin of his neck, leaving there dark marks. "I hate you, Coriolanus Snow."
"I hate you too," Snow says with a low growl as he continues to hold you. He bites your shoulder, leaving marks on your skin. His moans are muffled by your skin, which he touches constantly, as if afraid that at any moment you might escape and leave behind only a faint memory.
You hate him, but you enjoy him. You are pleased when he takes you as his own. You are excited when he uses your body. You feel his passion and desire through his body. You feel his raw passion and it's hard to hate him now.
"oh go to hell" You hiss and bite your lower lip to stop your moans, feeling him moving faster.
He doesn't care if he hurts you or not. All he cares about is that you belong to him right now. His hips slam against yours in an aggressive peace. The bathroom is filled with sinful noises because you don't even think about the fact that someone might come in and hear them.
"you may have already fallen in love, but with me, it's not so easy" A trembling laugh leaves your lips. You feel your head getting foggier and foggier. It's hard for you to put together a meaningful sentence, "but you're doing a good job" a loud moan leaves your mouth. you close your eyes and throw your head back "mmm my sweet toy."
He hears your moans of pleasure, and his eyes close with a smile. He has won and he knows it. Snow always lands on top. He presses you against the wall with his body even tighter. His movements become more sloppy and deeper as if he wants to bury himself inside you. His body trembles as his lips leave broken moans and whimpers.
Passion is so strong that you can almost forget about hatred. You can almost fall in love with Coriolanus Snow. Almost. But you know that what you feel now is only lust, and you know that it's all temporary.
Not him. Not the arrogant boy whose whole life is based on lies. Not that boy who doesn't care about anyone. Not that boy with a beautiful face and mesmerizing blue eyes. Not him.
You press closer to his body, almost clinging to him as a wave of pleasure sweeps over your body.
Coriolanus lets out a raspy throaty moan feeling your walls pulsate around him. His voice is low and shaky. He doesn't seem to notice anything except the way you cling to his body. He moves faster and harder, making sure he satisfies you completely.
Snow is fully immersed in feelings. He can't think clearly or rationally. He only knows that he has to claim you, that he has to satisfy his needs. He wants to feel you and make the most of the situation. All his thoughts and desires are focused on you. His hip movements speed up as he reaches the climax. He hides his face in your neck to muffle his moans. His body stiffs as he comes inside you.
Your arms wrapped around his neck, while his wrapped around your waist. you cling to each other, still not making contact with the real world as your breathing slowly calms down.
What happened in that bathroom is over, they both return to reality. Snow steps back slightly and helps you stand on your own two feet. He looks at you with heavy eyes. All the emotions he had been hiding inside him had finally been released.
He has won and he knows it. He has succeeded. But what now? Was it really worth it? This is not a question for now. Coriolanus does not look far into that future with his thoughts.
You look at each other in silence. Slowly you begin to realize what you have done and now you look at each other awkwardly and somewhat panicked.
Coriolanus is the first to break the silence. His cheeks are flushed and his breathing is faster. The passion he felt a minute ago still lingers in his heart, something he tries to hide from you. He looks at you with a somewhat absent and uncertain gaze
"Do you think we should forget what just happened?" He tries to make his voice sound normal as if nothing had happened.
"Definitely." The words leave your lips before you have time to think. You stare at each other in silence for a few more moments and begin to quickly put on your clothes.
Snow is surprised at how quickly you agree with him. He needs to make sure this is the end of what just happened between the two of you, so he adds.
"If anyone asks, it never happened." He now looks at you with a somewhat panicked expression on his face.
"You don't have to tell me," you scoff, buttoning your shirt, "if you tell even one soul, I'll kill you, I swear."
Coriolanus looks at you with small amusement while fixing his jacket. "I hope you won't become obsessed with me after this."
"Maybe in your dreams," you say with a slight smile fixing the collar of his shirt. " you better be careful that you are the one who will be lost in memories of me." Before you leave the bathroom you stop in front of the mirror and fix your uniform and hair. Coriolanus smiles for a moment but then quickly clears his throat and tries to look cold.
You both come out of the bathroom, look at each other and part your lips, as if to say something to each other, but you look at each other in silence "Now everything is back to normal. We can still hate each other," you say, but this does not improve your mood at all.
"It never happened," Snow says trying to look you in the eyes, wondering if you're thinking about it too. He wonders if what he feels is real, or if it's just a moment of passion.
"Never" You agree by nodding your head. Your gaze goes down to his mouth. As you look into his eyes again without a moment's thought you move closer to him and press your lips to his in-hungry kiss. He kisses you back wrapping his arms around you to bring your body closer.
You parts away after some time and you both catch your breath for a moment after this passionate kiss. Coriolanus is completely consumed with passion and there is nothing in his mind but you.
You move away and nod to each other as if you have just made a deal and each is walking in your own direction in a much better mood.
Maybe that's not exactly what Professor Satyria meant when she said you two should come to an agreement, but it certainly worked.
#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#the hunger games#coriolanus snow#tbosas#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus x reader#coriolanus smut#coriolanus snow smut#coriolanus snow x you#character x reader#x reader#x you#smut#young coriolanus snow#thg#thg fanfiction#thg x reader#tbosas x reader#tbosas fic#tbosas smut
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I Could Never Hate You
Pairing -> ninth member!reader x Lee Minho WC -> ~3,300 words Includes -> hurt/comfort, angst, enemies to lovers, hyunjin's a meanie, reader has anxiety, minho struggles with his feelings, cringy nickname use, yelling, swearing Summary -> The rest of the group members are over the silly rivalry between you and Minho. They decide to take matters into their own hands. However, their little game takes a turn for the worse when one of the members betrays your trust. Some may call it destinyā¦the way it leads you straight into the arms of the one you would never expect. Author's Note -> This is my first time posting on here, so hopefully this isn't too rough. Also, I swear I donāt hate Hyunjin. I love him to death. It was just necessary for the plotā¦ anywaysss hope you enjoy!!
Masterlist ā” Next Part
āI swear to God if you guys donāt open this door right now!ā You yell as you pound on the hotel room down the hall from yours. There hasnāt been a reply, but you know that Hyunjin and Felix are in there. The two of them are always locked in their hotel rooms the night before your shows. They try to get as much sleep as possible for the next day.
āThey are definitely laughing their asses off right now,ā you think to yourself. It was just a stupid prank to them. Something to get you and Minho to finally get along again, but they just donāt get it. You had tried for so long to make it work, but Minho was just too stubborn. For heavenās sake, you guys used to be the best of friends. One day he just started being cruel. Ignoring your texts, saying snarky things under his breath, scoffing every time you accidentally messed a move up. It escalated to the point where you no longer talk anymore. Truly, it is not your fault and they donāt seem to get it. He refuses to say anything about what happened, completely disregarding the fact that you were ever close enough to share your deepest secrets.
You turn around to leave, realizing the two boys were probably never going to open the door. You hear the lock click and spin back to see the annoyingly beautiful face of Felix. Although he wasnāt outright laughing at you, he was putting little effort in trying to hide his smile.
āHey, what are you so upset for? I didnāt notice anything wrong on the bus earlier?ā Felix asks. You just stare back dumbfounded.
āWhy the fuck would you ever put me in a room with him?ā you spit pushing past Felix into his room, āDonāt you dare look at me like that, you know how he treats me.ā
Hyunjin just looks at you from his spot on a queen bed closest to the window. He looks shocked, as if he hadnāt expected you to actually put up a fight against the sleeping arrangements.
"How is that our fault?" Hyunjin questions. He seems like he may be genuinely asking, but you know him better than that. You have always been closer to him than the other members, especially after all the things that went down with Minho. Hyunjin was always the one to comfort you. The first to step up when your anxiety got to be too much. So, it was obvious that the members did have something to do with it, and it wasn't just an unfortunate fluke.
"I saw the way you guys all ran to claim your rooms while I was still collecting my suitcase. Don't act stupid. I know you know what's going on," you say back in hopes to get him to at least explain what their plan was. Maybe you could reason with them and get one of the boys to switch. Heck, you'd even be willing to sleep on the couch in Hyunjin and Felix's room, but it's starting to seem like they don't even want you in their room in the first place.
You hear Felix close the door behind you, but it's all blocked out as you watch Hyunjin roll his eyes at you. While this may seem like a typical Hyunjin action, it just didn't feel right. He tries to be more gentle with you than the other boys. After confiding many of your secrets and insecurities in him, he knows to control his face around you. Yet, it's beginning to look like he's forgotten all about that tonight.
"Yeah, I'm the stupid one..." he mumbles under his breath. With every sentence exchanged, the tension in the room grows thicker. You almost feel bad putting the other poor boy in the room through this. You can practically feel him stiffen with every word spoken.
"Hyunjin-" Felix starts but is cut off by a sharp look from the man himself. You know it's starting to go too far if Felix is getting upset, but Hyunjin doesn't seem to care.
"Why are you so angry right now?" you ask him, praying the question doesn't fire him up more. Maybe he's just having a really bad day, or maybe he just wants to be alone and can't deal with your problems.
"I'm not angry," he starts, "you're just making a big deal out of absolutely nothing." By the end of it he begins to raise his voice, another thing he knows you aren't a fan of. You take a step back, a little confused at his ignorance. He's been with you through all the fights, why doesn't he understand how big of a deal this is to you?
As you're still trying to make sense of his previous statement, his voice quiets down, and he looks back down at his phone as he whispers, "Just like you always do."
"What is that even supposed to mean?" you ask, scared for the response. He glances up sharply, making true eye contact for the first time tonight.
"You're always crying over stupid shit, and I really can't handle it anymore,ā he states angrily, his eyes not leaving yours the entire time. He finally breaks eye contact, and the tension explodes, painting the whole room red.
As dramatic as it sounds, it's like a knife to your heart, or perhaps more accurately a stab in the back. You know exactly what he means by that. It's like he was aiming for your most sensitive spots. With your anxiety, you tend to panic over things that don't usually matter much in other people's minds. Every time you have an anxiety attack or are just freaking out about something, you usually try to hide it. You worry that your friends won't take you seriously or will make fun of you over something they consider 'not a big deal'. You've confided in Hyunjin over this topic before. He's helping you get over that and come to them when you need help. So why is he now turning on you? Was it all an act before?
You feel your eyes start to tear up, but you hold them back. He cannot see you cry.
"Fuck you," you say, attempting to put venom behind it, but all that comes out is your shaky voice.
"Y/n, wait," Felix says sympathetically as you go to leave the room. Normally, you would stop and let Felix comfort you, but suddenly everything is feeling just a little too heavy and you can't seem to look him in the eye any longer. You stride out of the room, keeping your shoulders straight without even glancing back. You just need to stay strong until you make it into the hallway. You slam the door behind you despite typically being the one to argue when the other members to it. Your eyes are blurring too fast at this point to even recognize the fact that you probably should've shut it a bit quieter. It is a hotel and noise complaints are a thing, but, honestly, that is the least of your worries at the moment. You just keep replaying back the fight in your head trying to figure out what you did wrong. It had to be something, right?
You start down the hallway, cursing when you realize your room is at the other end of the hall. You hope the other boys can't hear your sobs, especially the two you just departed from. As much as you want to be comforted, it feels like you're past the point of no return and just want to be alone. You try to stifle your cries a bit with your hand, but it doesn't do much. You're heads getting a little too light, you're breathing getting harder to control. Your hands are shaking, and it seems like the crying is just starting. Some may call you sensitive, but when the tears start you simply begin to spiral. There's very little that can calm you down at that point. Hyunjin usually has to take you somewhere and help you take deep breaths especially before your concerts. But he's the one who started this mess. So, what are you supposed to do now?
You finally make it to your hotel room, barely being able to read the numbers, and you start to dig around in your pockets. You start to panic as you struggle to find your key card, but eventually you grasp the small rectangular piece of plastic and open the door.
Once inside, you shut the door, a bit calmer this time, and fall back against it. The only thing on your mind being the fact that you are finally in your own room, alone. You put your hands over your face, trying to quiet some of your senses. In the haste to get out of the situation, you completely failed to remember the problem that had started it all.
Minho is sitting in one of the beds; he had plenty of time to choose considering you just dropped your suitcase off and stormed off upon realizing the two of you would be rooming together. He's all cozy in his sweat pants and t-shirt, obviously thankful for your abrupt disappearance. He looks up, shocked to see you re-entering the room. He plans to make a jab of some sort, but immediately pauses upon seeing your state. It seems like you haven't even noticed that he's in there yet. He's never really seen you like this before, or at least not since he started pushing you away. Putting that aside, he accepts defeat realizing that you need someone. You need him.
Your eyes are covered as you cry quietly into your hands, pushing your head back into the wood behind you. You flinch slightly upon feeling strong arms wrap around your shoulders, pulling you away from the hard door. However, you soon relax into the arms, enjoying the feeling of safety flood your system. The man is warm and gentle as he presses you against him, pushing your head into the crook of his neck.
"Follow my breathing," he whispers in your ear, sending goosebumps from your head to your toes. You try to listen to him, but all of your senses are so overwhelmed that you can't seem to focus on anything. Feeling like a fool, you begin to cry harder, immediately sending you back to the fight with Hyunjin.
"Honey," he starts, "you just have to take a deep breath. I don't want you to pass out on me." Hearing the quiet voice in your ear helps bring your mind back to the present. Trying to focus on the instructions, you begin to notice the chest rising and falling slowly against yours. You can even feel the man's calm heart beat against your racing one.
Following the normally simple order, you try to take a deeper inhale resulting in a few hiccups and more tears. One of the arms around your shoulder falls and his hand begins to rub your back gently. As you focus on the sensation, your breathing starts to even out, just as Minho had hoped.
Once you are in a slightly better state, he moves you over to the bed. Setting you down on the edge, he kneels in front of you and softly pulls your hands away from your face. You instinctively bow your head, squeezing your eyes shut and trying to keep from facing the man in front of you.
Minho reaches his hand out, bringing your face back up towards his. You slowly open your eyes at the gentle touch. He's looking right back at you, a soft expression covering his face. He hasn't looked at you like that in years. He practically lights up when your eyes meet his.
A smile grows on his face, as he quietly says, "There you go, kitten." Your face flushes at the nickname, and you hear Minho giggle softly at your blushing cheeks. He used to call you that all the time. A fan had once greeted the two of you at a fan meet saying how you both had the same energy as cats. So from that day on, he had called you that nickname constantly, earning well-deserved teasing from the other boys. Yet, it had all stopped out of nowhere.
'He doesn't care about you anymore,' you remind yourself. You pull away from him roughly and stand up from the bed. You take a few steps away from him, the comfort you had felt being ripped away in seconds. This was too confusing. He can't ignore you for years and suddenly act normal. That isn't how this works.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" you ask him, just wanting some sort of explanation. He slowly stands up, his soft look from before transforming into a look of pure regret.
"What are you talking about? You're upset and I care about you," he calmly explains, obviously ignoring the elephant in the room. But you can see it in his eyes; the nerves, the regret, and the sadness painting itself across his irises.
"You hate me,ā you say, leaving no room for discussion. You were sick of being left in the dark and being turned on. You just want to know, what happened?
"You don't really believe that do you?" he asks as his body language changes. He reaches a hand up, pulling a little too roughly against his hair as he looks down at the ground.
"I mean-" you start to say but are cut off by a small sniffle coming from across you.
The culprit looks up at you again, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. Minho never cries. It's just one of those things. So he wipes them away and says the last words you would ever imagine him speaking to you.
"I'm so sorry," he whispers genuinely, "I never meant to make you feel that way, but I guess that's what it's come to, hasn't it?"
You stand stiffly, staring at him. You had never seen the man look so defeated. You are even more confused about where the two of you stand than you have ever been.
"But I don't get it, you're just so mean. I don't know how you couldn't hate me."
"I could never hate you,ā he states staring at you. His eyes are so deep that you can see exactly what he's feeling, and you realize, this is it. He's an open book. This may be the one time you get to see under the surface of Lee Minho since those days of friendship all those years ago.
"Then why did you push me away?" you ask, taking advantage of his state.
"I was just so scared. I thought you would hate me if you found out..." he trails off. You simply wait for him to finish his sentence, but he never does. He just looks back at you in hopes that you understand what he's trying to say. A silence builds, and Minho takes a deep breath before continuing.
"I love you and I was just too scared in case it would ruin the group," he says, finally letting the truth escape after years of secrets. The shock of the statement leaves you speechless, simply staring at your old best friend.
After a few seconds of building tension, you canāt help but start to giggle, leading to near hysterics with more tears springing to your eyes. You had thought you had cried all of them out, but it looks like you were wrong. There's no way that's the reason. If only he had been honest with his feelings, then you would've never been in this situation in the first place.
He looks surprised at your laughing, and his whole body seems to deflate.
'Hopefully he doesn't think I'm laughing at him', you think. There's no way they had messed up communication that bad to let it get to this point.
"You should have said that, Minho. I was so in love with you," you state gently, trying not to bewilder the poor man. He looks up, and there's pure excitement on his face. It's beautiful to see compared to his earlier expressions, and you're reminded of all those little reasons you love him. All those reasons that have been buried down due to his obliviousness.
"Really?" he says, taking a step closer to you. Your cheeks heat up upon realizing that you really did just reveal one of your darkest secrets.
He takes another step closer, his face now only inches from yours. You feel his arms wrap sweetly around your waist. You glance down at his lips; they're slightly chapped, but honestly, it's just all part of what makes Minho, Minho. Your eyes go back up to meet his, and you can see the tension and nerves drawn upon his face. You quickly close the distance, making the decision you should have made all those years ago.
Minho doesn't pull away, instead immediately melting into the kiss, bringing one hand up to delicately cup your cheek. This may be one of the softest moments you have ever witnessed from Minho, and man do you want more.
You don't kiss for long, it's short and sweet, but it means so much more. Within it is everything you had wished you could've said to each other since the beginning.
You both pull back, a laugh leaving both of your mouths as you take in how outrageous the situation is. He pulls you close again, his head falling on your shoulder.
"I promise, I will never ever treat you like that again. You mean so much to me," he whispers. You bring a hand up to pet the back of his hair, pulling back just enough to give him a kiss on the cheek.
The two of you eventually pull away as your eyelids begin to droop. You realize how late it has gotten, neither of you noticing with all the drama that has unfolded. You quickly change into your pajamas and get ready to go to sleep.
You end up in the same bed with your head lying on his chest, his fingers running through your hair. Despite how sleepy you both feel, you know there is so much more to talk about and neither of you will be able to fall asleep.
Minho breaks the silence, asking you the dreaded question, "So, what happened? Did someone hurt you?"
"Hyunjin and I fought. He said some very hurtful things." I reply sadly, the memories of the fight resurfacing.
"You two are so close, I'm sure he didn't mean it. You know how upset he gets when weāre on tour for so long. He gets aggravated having to be around us all the time, but it was still messed up for him to be so mean to you."
You laugh at his response, "Yeah, like you can talk."
"Hey!" he says dramatically. You both giggle, and despite the tough topic, the tension seems to melt away. It always used to be that way with Minho. It's as if the two of you were made for each other. Everything just felt so much better and easier around him. Suddenly, everything in life was a lot sweeter.
"But seriously, don't worry about it too much, kitten. Felix will take care of it, and Hyunjinnie will be running back to you by the morning."
Part 2 out now!
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