#so I had to erase it all and start from scratch and I am big annoyed | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tightjeansjavi · 1 year ago

Text

Slow Hands | Chapter 9

“when the monsters creep into your house”

A/N: so, before we get into this chapter, I just wanted to say that I am still on a break, but I wanted to share this with y’all because I’m so incredibly proud of how far I’ve come as a writer. This story has truly become such an importance to me, and I am so grateful to have the opportunity to share it with you. This break has been everything I hoped it would be and with that, I have restored my love for writing. This is also my longest chapter that I have ever written. 15k to be exact! Anyway, I hope you’re all doing well and thank you for the endless support. In due time I’ll be ready to re-immerse myself into the community, but for now I am content. 🤍 happy Thanksgiving to all of you who celebrate, and free Palestine 🇵🇸 call for a ceasefire now. Also, a big shout out to @angelofsmalldeath-codeine for betaing for me! I appreciate you so much 🥹🤍

~word count: 15k~

Pairing | Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: after spending the night at Joel’s, the fragmented pieces of your past before Jackson begin to fall into place.

warnings: angst, PTSD, trauma, intense flashbacks, nightmares, child loss, implied SA (not by Joel) heavy heavy topics, hurt, comfort, foreshadowing, implied animal abuse (not done by Joel) soft flirting, protective! Joel, soft! Joel, no age gap, reader has no physical descriptions such as body type or skin color, readers nickname is Beanie (coffee beans), +18 minors dni!

main masterlist masterlist

Joel Miller’s POV

“Spend the night with me, Beanie. Please.” His words fell heavy on his tongue. His heart begging you with a steady thrum to stay. He was nervous. Nervous about how you would react to his request. While he had many moments of raw vulnerability with you, this was by far the most vulnerable admittance. It showed that he felt a deep level of trust towards you considering the only other person who knew of Ellie’s immunity was Tommy. Admittedly, if you said no to his request to spend the night, it would sting, but he’d accept it and give you the time that you needed. That didn’t erase the fact that he was waiting with a bated breath.

“Of course I’ll spend the night with you, Joel. Under one condition, you don’t snore, right?” Your tone was playful, teasing as you gently scratched his scalp with the blunt ends of your nails.

Oh, geez. How was it that one single person could read the room so well? There was something that was so purely natural to you. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Maybe one day he’d have the answer. He was relieved.

“Well, I don’t usually snore, but I won’t make any promises. Is that a deal breaker for ya, darlin?’” She’s spending the night. Here. with me.

He nearly could have purred like a damn cat from how soothing it felt to have you scratching his scalp, and playing with his hair. Oh, he had it bad alright.

“No, just means that I might have to smother you with a pillow if you do start snoring, honey.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” He threatened teasingly as his fingers attempted to lightly tickle your sides, but you were quicker than that. Exchanging pet names felt easy and natural between the two of you. The banter dissolved the tension from the emotionally charged conversation that just took place

“Oh, but I would.”

Your fingers interlaced with his, thumbs brushing across the outside of his hand. He was looking directly into your eyes with a slight tilt of his head. He shamelessly thought about kissing you again now that there seemingly would be no other interruptions. His eyes flitted down to your lips. Soft. Kissable. He hadn’t kissed anyone since Tess’s passing. Even then, they didn’t share many romantic moments leading up to her death. Oh how he wishes he could have just kissed her one last time. You have to let go of the past, remember? Tess is gone. She’s never coming back, Joel. But Beanie? She’s here. She’s sitting right next to you, and she’s breathing. Her heart has a beat and there's blood pumping in her veins.

“If we keep this up, the pizza is gonna go cold, darlin.’” He tilted his head to the side with a boyish grin spreading across his lips. You swore that you saw a dimple peek through.

“Can’t have that happening.”

“Would be a shame..” He drawled thoughtfully.

Your eyes met, soft gazes melded together, brows raised before you broke out into a fit of contagious giggles. You couldn’t even depict the cause of your laughter, but he was short to follow, and man, did it feel good. Perhaps there need not be a reason. Perhaps it just felt natural to burst into giggles after such a heavy topic of discussion. You thoughtfully watched the way his eyes crinkled, and his hand grasped his belly under the worn-down fabric of his shirt. The cadence of your combined laughter echoed weightlessly through the expanse of the kitchen like a feather drifting along a gentle breeze. Ask her now. You can do it, Joel. Let your heart feel, for god sakes.

“Well, now I’m real fuckin’ hungry, darlin.’” He drawled warmly as he reached for your hands.

“Felt good though, didn’t it?”

He smiled knowingly as he nodded, “Felt damn good.” His hands grasped yours firmly before he gently released them and slowly stood up.

Your mouth watered the second he removed the pizza from the oven with a well-loved oven mitt that had little hearts stitched artfully through the fabric. He set the tray carefully along the countertop to cool. “It’s gonna be a few minutes for the pizza to cool. Don’t wanna go and burn our tongues off.” He chortled softly as he slowly descended back down to your level.

His palms were growing clammy by the second as he watched your discreet body language under the soft glow of the overhanging kitchen light. He watched the way you moved in closer to him, as if you were both magnets being drawn together by an invisible force that was slowly reeling you in. He watched your eyes, and how they never seemed to leave his own. He watched the way your lips parted open, soft and sweet like two glistening peach halves. Dew kissed rose petals being warmed by the sun's rays. Joel Miller would never consider himself to be a hopeless romantic, but you’d beg to disagree.

“Fuck it.” he whispered under his breath, nearly undetectable to your ears.

“What?”

He breathed in slow and deep as his lips parted like the narrow sea. “Beanie,” He breathed out. “Can I please kiss you?”

A moment to breathe passed before you slowly nodded in consent, “Yes, Joel. Please kiss me.”

He leaned in slowly, the bridge of his nose gently brushing against your own as he tilted his head to the side ever so slightly. His hands gently rose to caress either side of your face. He held you like delicate fine china in his palms. Those very same hands could take away a life with a snap and twisting of his wrists. You held no fear because you knew this man. You knew Joel Miller as if he had been in your life forever. In some way, he had. Inconspicuously he had touched your life before the outbreak, and now you were finding one another in a new light.

The gap between your lips was tortuously closing at a slow pace. He was taking his time with you, but only if you knew that internally, he was wishing that he could take your breath away with a swift kiss. Time felt like it ceased to exist the moment his lips molded against your own. Although they were slightly chapped, Joel Miller’s lips were like two soft pillows, and he’d describe yours as candy floss. The sweet, sugary kind that used to be consumed in carnivals and fairs. He sighed into your mouth as his thumb brushed across your cheekbone. Your lips moved together in sync, but he could taste your hesitation lingering on your tongue.

“Joel..” You murmured against his lips.

“S’okay,” He spoke with utter reassurance. “You’re safe here with me.”

That’s all it took for you to let yourself go as your arms wrapped around his neck with ease, pressing your lips further into his.

His heart felt ignited with a newfound feeling that had laid dormant for so long. Fuck the pizza, he thought to himself. Nothing can ever come close to this moment.

The kiss was short lived, and lasted all of 30 seconds, but it was only because he could taste the salt from your tears along his tongue as he slowly detached his lips from yours. A tiny sliver of saliva kept you connected, until that dissipated too.

Why is she crying?

Oh, god. What have I done?

I knew this was foolish of me.

He didn’t even realize that his own tears began to free-fall from the corner of his eyes. He was too hyper focused on you.

“Beanie, what’s wrong? Darlin’ is it somethin’ I’ve done? I’m so sorry my dear, I–”

You cut him off with a surprised urgency as your hands dropped to his face and his strong jaw. You nearly threw yourself into his lap from how fervently you kissed him. On instinct, his hands found your waist to hold you steady as he kissed you back with the same amount of passion that you held for him. Your breaths synced harmoniously before you parted ways and pressed your forehead into the fabric of his shirt. An overflowing tide of emotions swept through the two of you as he cradled your head protectively to his chest. His head came to rest upon the lower cabinet as his eyes fluttered shut.

I’m here.

I’ll keep you safe.

No harm will come your way.

My girl. My girl. My beautiful sweet girl.

The pizza had significantly cooled off by the time yours and Joel’s emotions calmed down and he had wiped away every last tear that had dripped down your beautiful soft-spoken eyes. He left your side only to grab two plates and divvy the slices between the two of you. You sat side by side on the floor, as you ate in a comfortable silence.

I should check in and see how she’s doing. Maybe asking her to spend the night was too much.

Maybe this moved too fast?

Maybe I should just shut up and stop overthinking every single little fuckin’ detail.

“How’s it tastin?’” He finally asked as he set his plate off to the side.

“Tastes just as good as I remember it to be. Might even be better.” You responded with a small smile of gratitude.

“You ain’t gotta say that jus’ to be polite, darlin.’ Y’can be honest with me.”

“Joel, it’s seriously delicious. You’re a good cook.”

“And you make a fabulous sous chef.” He murmured with a grin between his teeth as he turned his head to look over at you.

“Don’t look at me like that.” You could feel the heat rise to your cheeks as you rested your plate on your lap.

“Like what?” He asked softly.

“Like I am the only girl in the room.”

His brow raised as he pondered your response. You were literally the only girl in the room, but he was able to pick up on the silent signals, and read the context clues to your words.

“Darlin’, you don’t have to be afraid of me, or this, okay? Look, I understand if me askin’ you to spend the night might have been too much, and if that is the case, I’ve got no problem walking you home. But, if you do still want to spend the night with me, I promise we don’t have to..y’know, do anythin.’” He cleared his throat nervously as his eyes silently searched your own.

“Joel, I’m not afraid of you. I promise that it’s not that. I just—it’s been so long since..I’ve liked someone this much. The last guy I had romantic feelings for, was shortly before outbreak day. We actually had a date planned on the night of the outbreak. He canceled because he said his mom was sick and he needed to go and check on her. I never heard from him after that.” You murmured somberly as your hand slowly came to rest upon his cheek, stroking your thumb gently across the patches in his silver speckled beard.

“Baby, s’alright. I understand. S’been awhile for me as well, as you know. I’m sorry that you never heard from him again. Was he uh—your boyfriend? Or just someone you had met?” He leaned into your soft caress as his hand slowly came to rest upon your knee, rubbing soothing circles into the fabric.

He liked that you both shared a liking towards physical touch. He always wanted to be touching those he loved in some shape or form.

“No, he wasn’t my boyfriend. It was actually going to be our second date, and I was truly excited about it. We met in line at the local grocers, and my clumsy ass nearly dropped an entire carton of milk. He was..really sweet. Sometimes I wonder if he survived outbreak day, and if he did, would we find each other again.” Your thumb gently brushed across his lower lip before you were leaning in and kissing him sweetly as his lashes fluttered shut.

“Oh, darlin.’ I’m so sorry. I jus’ hope that if he didn’t make it, he went out painless. Sometimes I often forget that so many people lost something that night. Friends. Family. Lovers. It’s so easy to get caught up in your own grief and forget everyone else’s.” He mumbled against your lips as he squeezed your knee tenderly.

“It’s okay, Joel. Really, it’s okay. I got over it as soon as I realized that I had a decent chance at survival. Had to push my own grief far into the depths. Tess helped a lot. When we found each other I just had this feeling that it was meant to be. I wouldn’t have made it very far without her.” You slowly pulled away from the kiss as your forehead gently lowered to rest against his. “If I’m gonna spend the night, I sure hope you have a good pair of pj’s for me, Miller.” You teased softly as you gently twirled a strand of his salt and peppered hair between your fingers.

“She’s a good horse. Y’all have a special bond that I doubt could ever be broken. Darlin’ , you can wear any pj’s of mine that you’d like. Y’can keep ‘em too. But, before we head upstairs, there’s somethin’ I wanna show you. Would that be alright?”

“What do you want to show me, Joel?”

“You’ll see, darlin.’ Y’trust me, right?”

“Always.”

Joel offered you his arm like the true southern gentleman he was. He softly told you to leave the plates for now, and he would take care of that later. You took his arm graciously with a gentle grasp as he led you outside.

“Jus’ so ya know, the only two people who have seen my little wood workin’ shed, as I would call it, is Tommy and Ellie. But, you’re awfully special to me, Beanie. And I wanna share this piece of myself with you.”

“Joel, you know you don’t have to do this, right? I am absolutely honored that you want to share this part of yourself with me.” You murmured in a honeyed tone as your fingers gently flexed along his forearm.

He turned towards you, pausing in a moment of thought before he smiled. A real genuine smile that showed the little crinkles in the corner of his eyes that came with the process of aging. How precious a moment for you to see Joel Miller with his guard down. Even in the lowlight, you could see the way his eyes sparkled as he looked at you with tenderness.

“Best get used to it, darlin.’ Cus’ one day, I’m gonna share everything with you.”

His words were taken as a promise. An oath that you were not just a stepping stone in his path towards healing and living a peaceful domestic life. You mattered, and he made you feel like the sun was something that he crafted just for you with his bare hands in his toolshed. And the millions of stars that painted the night sky in twinkling light, were his secrets, and all he had to do was reach up and pluck one from the string it hung upon and bring it down to you. The stardust would bloom like a rose in your palm as if by magic. All in due time he’d bring a star down to you. All in due time.

At least in this lifetime, you’d finally understand what all the fairytales and romance novels were talking about.

His lips brushed your forehead in a velvety kiss before he nudged the shed door open with his shoulder and flicked on the light directly to the left of his head.

Remnants of sawdust coated the air as you followed him inside. His work station was fairly tidy sans a few stray tools that didn’t quite find their home, yet. You could feel his presence lingering behind you as you admired the wood carved fawn that was nearing its completed stages.

“This is darling. Did you make it for someone?” You asked softly as he pulled up the stool next to you and made himself comfortable.

“Made that one for Ellie. After I gifted her that felt fawn from your trinket bowl, I felt inspired to make her a wooden version. Got a rocket ship I'm workin’ on as well, but animal anatomy is far easier to work with than machine parts.” He mused as he rested his palm along his chin comfortably.

“I’m sure she’ll love it, Joel.”

“Hopin’ so. Got somethin’ I’m workin’ on for you as well.” He murmured with a gesture towards the figure covered with a white sheet to keep it a surprise.

You turned your head to the side, catching his gaze before you smiled. “Really? Can I see it?”

“‘Fraid not, my dear. Ain’t finished with it, yet. And I wanna keep it a surprise for now. Think you can be patient?” His brow raised as his lips curved up into a small grin.

“Oh, alright. I suppose I can be patient, for now.”

“Are ya sure you’re actually capable of being patient, darlin?’ He asked teasingly, his eyes flickered with unbridled mischief like two high-hanging mirror balls.

You leaned in with the same mischief dancing in your irises. It felt good to flirt, real good. He could easily say the same thing.

“I think the real question is, are you capable of being patient, Miller?”

A challenge. And a good one at that.

Joel had felt like a horny, love-sick teenage boy all over again.

He reveled in it.

Before he could answer, you slipped off the other stool with ease as you gingerly picked up one of the wood chisels that was laying around nearby. You twirled the handle in your palm with glee as you danced around the workbench, feeling his eyes never leaving you.

“So, what’s this one called?” You knew it was a wood chisel, but playing dumb for a moment felt fun and carefree.

“It’s a wood chisel. S’what I use when I'm carving out details and such. Got a whole set of ‘em. They’re quite handy.” He was already up from his stool as well as he followed you around the corner of the workbench.

“Fascinating.” You responded with a playful grin as you placed the chisel down where you found it before picking up a small screwdriver. “And this?”

He chuckled, shaking his head with a grin. “That would be a screwdriver, princess.”

Something unreadable flashed in your eyes. It was there, and gone as fast as it came.

“I totally knew that.” Your tone was an octave higher than usual, but you masked it well by tossing the screwdriver to the side before reaching for his hands.

“I know you did, honey.” He drawled smoothly as he found himself stepping between your legs where you were casually leaned up against the bench.

You were locked onto one another like two magnets as he slowly brought your interlocked hands above your head. He studied your expression for a moment as he silently waited for your consent, and once it was given, his lips were pressed to yours once more as your back naturally began to descend against the saw dust covered surface.

The tension in the air rose and thickened the atmosphere. The only sounds that could be detected were your lips moving in a passionate filled embrace, and the crickets chirping just outside the door.

He was the one to break the kiss with a breathy chuckle. “Seems like you and I are turnin’ into a couple of horny teens, huh?”

You liked the way his cheeks were flushed, and his lips swollen from your kisses.

“Indeed we are. I feel so alive. Do you?”

“Yes. The most alive I have felt in years, Beanie.” He murmured as he gently pulled you back up into a sitting position. His hands departed from your own and proceeded to brush away any sawdust that had stubbornly clung to your clothing. “Let's head in, yeah? I’ll make us some tea before bed. Chamomile?”

“Sounds delightful.” You pecked his cheek sweetly, and his cheeks reddened once more.

Joel left you to your own devices as he tidied up the kitchen. When you softly protested to help with the dishes, he shook his head and gently nudged you towards the staircase followed by a short peck to your lips. “Go on. I’ll be up shortly, darlin’.’”

“Joel, are you sure you want me to go up there alone? I mean, it’s your private space and–”

“Beanie,” He breathed softly against your lips. “S’okay. I trust you, remember?”

“Okay. Are you sure you don’t want any help down here?”

He shook his head once more as he nudged you up a few steps. “No. I’ll be alright. Go on now.” He pressed softly.

Your reluctance was noted, but Joel trusted you, and that was a fact. So, what did you really have to fear?

Your soft-padded footsteps led you further up the stairs before your body disappeared from his view. His bedroom was down the hall from Ellie’s. Like a classic teenager, her door had a sign in bold red lettering that said “KEEP OUT”. Oh to be a teenager again.

Joel’s bedroom was exactly how you pictured it to be; homey. His bed was neatly made with both sets of pillows fluffed to perfection. On his nightstand contained a book titled, “Idiot's Guide to Space” and on top of the book were his old man reading glasses.

Cute.

You didn’t want to appear as if you were snooping around, but it was hard not to when two seemingly photographs caught your attention. You padded over to the dresser with a genuine curiosity. Upon closer inspection, the first photograph encased a younger Joel with his arm around who you presumed to be his daughter. Sarah truly was the apple of his eye.

“Winning that game was a big moment for her.” Joel’s warm tone lingered in the open doorway.

“She’s beautiful, Joel.” You murmured in response as you gently set the frame down.

“She was.” He solemnly corrected you as he made his way into the room.

You could feel the heaviness weighing in his heart as his footsteps approached. You hated to think that right now he was picturing his baby girl laying in her shallow grave. She was far too young.

“Joel, please. Don’t go to that place. Sarah is beautiful, and I wish I could have had the opportunity of knowing her.”

“She woulda loved you. I’m almost sure of it. The two of you woulda been as thick as thieves.” He was standing alongside you now with his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his worn out jeans.

Your gaze softened as it landed upon the second photograph. Joel and Ellie side by side, looking into Shimmer’s stall.

“Did you mean what you said earlier, Beanie?” His question startled your current thoughts as you slowly met his gaze.

“You mean when I said that Ellie would forgive you eventually, and she just needs time to heal, and so do you?”

“Yes. Y’meant that, right? You actually believe that Ellie can forgive me? That her and I will be okay again?”

“Joel, I believe that everyone can be forgiven to an extent. What you did is what any parent would do for their child. In due time she might understand, and forgive you. But, you need to start believing that yourself. Feel it in your heart that you and her will be alright. These things are delicate, and they take time, Joel.”

You could feel his muscles clench as he inhaled deeply. Sometimes hearing the truth hurt, but it was necessary.

“I guess I don’t know how to be patient at all.” He murmured with a slight shrug.

“No, that’s not true at all, Joel. You miss her, and that is completely understandable.”

“I’d do it all over again. If I was given the chance to make up for it, there ain’t a damn thing I woulda done differently.” His nostrils flared from his admittance. As if he was a once dormant volcano that was becoming active again.

“I know, Joel. I know.” You talked him down.

He appeared to be lost in his own thoughts before his shoulders finally returned to a relaxed position. “Let me get you some pj’s so you can change, and then i’ll go make our tea.”

You nodded silently as he pulled open the top drawer of the dresser and grabbed a pair of plaid pajama pants and plain t-shirt. He placed them gently into your arms. “I think there might be an extra toothbrush in one of the drawers in the bathroom. I’ll uh–give ya some privacy.” He backed off like a dog with its tail between his legs. He could already feel the shame begin to creep up every vertebrae in his spine as he slipped past the open doorway. He just wanted to be normal. To not feel this constant weight on his shoulders, or grief in his heart. He wished for happiness. To smile more. To laugh. To enjoy the life he had left to live. To love without the fear of losing.

You wished that for him too.

When he returned with two steaming mugs of herbal tea, he found you already safely tucked under the covers. ‘The Idiot’s Guide to Space’ book in your grasp. His heart swelled as he set his owl mug down along the nightstand as he offered you the other mug. A moose grazing in a snowy field was illustrated along the outside of the mug. You looked up, pausing in the paragraph you were reading, before grasping the mug gently from him. “I hope you don’t mind me reading it. The title intrigued me.” You murmured.

“Don’t mind at all. It’s got some fascinating stuff in’t.” He responded warmly before he pulled the covers back and climbed underneath them. His shoulder brushed yours as he made himself comfortable.

“Would you like me to read it to you?” Your suggestion was soft and thoughtful as his eyes met yours.

“I’d love that, Beanie.”

You naturally found yourself scooting in towards his side of the bed. You wanted to be closer to him. To feel that intimate connection that had sent a new fire scorching through your veins. His arm slowly came to rest along your shoulders while the back of your head found its home against his chest. His heartbeat was steady, his breaths soft as your words soothed him like a lullaby soothes a child. It wasn’t long before he was nodding off, struggling to keep his eyes open, but he soon gave into sleep and you followed shortly

“Joel! Help me, please! Joel!” Ellie’s screams were anguished. Frightened.

The steps leading to the basement seemed never ending as Joel raced down them. Adrenaline pumped fiercely in his veins. “Ellie!” He screamed, voice raw and cracking. His fists pounded on the door as he desperately tried to break it down. Her terrified screams rattled his skull as the thin skin of his knuckles tore and bled. “Baby girl!” He cried.

Ellie’s screams for help dissipated and turned into a harsh ringing in his ears. The never ending staircase and basement door ceased to exist.

“Joel! Joel! Wake up! Please, wake up!” Your tone was urgent, frightened as you grasped his shoulders firmly to shake him free of his nightmare.

His screams sent a wave of nausea rushing through you . “Joel, you’re safe! It's just a nightmare! It's not real, Joel!”

His eyes snapped open as he took in a lungful of air. His arms encircled around your waist as he looked around the room wildly. His shirt was soaked all the way through. “Ellie! She–she. I–I couldn’t reach her! I couldn’t save her!” He wailed profusely as you tried every attempt to calm him down.

“Joel. Listen to me, baby. It was a nightmare. It wasn’t real. Ellie is safe. She’s safe!” Your hands came to gently rest upon his cheeks as if your fingertips alone could wipe away the fear leaking from his eyes. You kissed away his tears as he trembled in your embrace. He wept as you consoled him.

Your fingers combed through his hair as you began to hum a tune of the past as one last final attempt to bring him back down to earth. Your humming transformed into words as his heart beat steadied its rhythm.

“And you will keep me safe.” You whispered.

“And you will keep me warm.” He croaked.

“And rain.”

“And rain.” He followed with a soft painful whimper.

“Will make the flowers.”

“Will make the flowers grow.” You wept in unison.

Joel awoke the following morning, rising with the sun that was beginning to peek through the beige curtains in his cozy bedroom. He was careful not to disturb you in your peaceful slumber as he detangled his legs from your own before swinging them over the side of the bed with a soft grunt. Despite the familiar ache in his back, he urged himself to stand as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. The floorboards creaked beneath the weight of his footsteps as he padded off to his connected bathroom. Despite the nightmare he endured just a few hours ago, he felt moderately well rested. He splashed a bit of luke-warm water onto his face before he proceeded to brush his teeth.

He returned to his side of the bed shortly after as he quietly dressed for the day before he scribbled down a note for you to awake to. The last thing he wanted was for you to think that he was leaving in a hurry, or feeling like the events that took place last night were a mistake. That couldn’t be any further from the truth. His handwriting was chicken scratch compared to your gentle strokes of the pen, but was legible at least.

Good morning, darlin.’ I'm headed down to the stables to build a pen for Honey. Help yourself to some coffee, and whatever else you’d like. I’ll be back in time to take you to breakfast.

-Your Joel.

So what if he was a bit of a sap, you were, after all, the first person he showed vulnerability to since Tess. This was as big a deal for him as it was for you, but it felt natural. As natural as breathing, as putting one foot in front of the other.

He found Honey still curled up in the corner of the couch as he stopped to give the fawn a gentle pat on her furry little head. He couldn’t help but think of the horrors that would have been unleashed on her if he didn’t rescue her in the woods. Surely, she would have been ripped to shreds.

Vile.

With one final delicate pat to her head, he reached for the blanket that was wrapped around the tiny creature, and gently tucked the corners in so she was a nice snug bug in a rug. he shuffled away to tug on his working boots before he grabbed his every-day use tool box from the closet. A ghost of a smile was tugging on his lips as he swung the metal loop of his house keys between his fingers. He was so lucky to know that just up the stairs, you lay beneath his sheets.

Even in the early morning hours, Joel could taste humidity on his tongue. July was already proving to be a sweltering one. He was too caught up in his saccharine thoughts of you back in his cozy home, to hear footsteps approaching behind him. Well, it also didn’t help that he was partially deaf in his right ear.

When he pushed open the stable doors, he was greeted with a few friendly nickers as he made his way down the stall aisle. He had developed a particular soft spot for your mare, Tess, for obvious reasons. She was sweet, gentle, kind-hearted just like you. And as silly as it may sound, he saw his Tess in your mare’s eyes.

Tex’s sleek black neck was already craning over his stall door as he pressed his velvet soft muzzle into Joel’s flannel pocket affectionately.

“Ah, I see. Am I jus’ a treat dispenser to ya now, Tex? Knew that Beanie was gonna give ya a sweet tooth.” He murmured with a deep chuckle as he set his tool box down alongside the outside of Tex’s stall. “I think your lady deserves a sugar cube first, dontcha think?”

Tex pawed the loose hay in his stall with a soft snort as Joel reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of sugarcubes to give to Tess. She didn’t like most men in Jackson, but she already adored your Joel.

The tender felt moment between beast and man was cut short from the sound of the stable doors creaking open once more. There was a sudden edge to the docile air as Lucas strode in casually.

Joel’s jaw clenched harshly under the dust filled light rays that trickled in through the cracks in the stables roof. Golden light flooded through the spaces between the wood as his eyes narrowed downwards between his boots. He was not in the mood for conversation of any kind this early in the morning, and especially not from an individual he already believed to be suspicious.

“Miller?” Lucas asked as he approached with his arms swaying at his sides. “What’re you doin’ up so early?”

“Could ask you the same,” The older man muttered under his breath.

Lucas heard him, but pretended he didn’t. “What was that?”

Joel kicked at a stray rock with the toe of his boot as he straightened himself up so that he could appear more intimidating. “I think you heard exactly what I said.”

Lucas raised a brow with an amused grin as he stopped in front of Tess’s stall. “You really can’t fuckin’ stand me, huh?” Before Joel could answer, Lucas waved him off as if they were friends having a minor disagreement.

Tess immediately took a few nervous steps back from where Lucas was leaning against the side of her stall door. Her sudden erratic behavior set Tex off immediately as he pawed the ground fiercely, and flattened his ears to the back of his skull. A territorial display that sent hairs standing up on the back of Joel’s neck almost immediately.

Joel knew that horses had a tendency to be sensitive towards certain people, but he had never seen Tess respond in this manner. It was..odd.

Lucas paid no mind to the mare's behavior as he focused his attention back on the older man. “So, who does this beauty belong to anyway?”

Joel started to stiffen before he relaxed his shoulders with a slow roll. “She’s Beanie’s.” he muttered flatly as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a few more sugar cubes and held them outstretched in his palm towards Tess.

Your mare took a few timid steps forwards, before she gently ate the treats right from Joel’s palm. However, as soon as Lucas reached his hand upwards to stroke her snow white neck, she shied away from his touch as the whites of her eyes shone like two pale ghosts as Tex proceeded to send his hoof colliding loudly into the side of his stall; don’t mess with his lady.

Lucas oddly didn’t seem fazed by the mare’s bizarre behavior as he shrugged his shoulders with exaggerated casualness, “mares have never been a fan of me.”

“Can’t imagine why.” Was Joel’s gruff response as he turned his back to pick up his toolbox once more. He proceeded to ignore the ‘intruder’ as he set to work on building a pen for Honey right next to Tex’s stall. Out of sight, out of mind, right?

The only problem was that Lucas had a godawful time at reading the fucking room, or he was doing this to get a rise out of Joel on purpose.

“Speaking of you and Beanie, what’s goin’ on between the two of you anyway? Hearin’ whisperin’s here and there that you and her are like an item.” He drawled smoothly.

“Ain’t think that’s much of your concern, or business to have, Lucas.” Joel’s tone was muffled as he spoke into the fabric of his flannel along his shoulder.

“Ah, I hear ya there, brother. Gotta be careful with a woman like that. They can be real heartbreakers if ya ain’t careful.”

He’s baiting you, Joel. Don’t fall for it.

“Yeah? How would you know the type of woman she is, and isn’t?” Joel delivered his response with ease as he pulled out a tape measure.

“Not sayin’ that I do, jus’ that I've been around enough women like her to know what I'm talkin’ about. And a woman like that can’t be held down. They’re flighty and callus. One second you think you’re special to them, and the next—”

“Well, who said anythin’ about me wantin’ to hold her down? She’s her own person, Lucas. I don’t own her.” Joel gritted through his teeth.

Don’t give in. Don’t give in.

Joel could hear the younger, cockier man smirking through his teeth. “So, she’s not your girl then is what you’re sayin?’ Huh. I surely thought you two were an item.”

The sound of the tape measurer clanking into the toolbox with a loud thud was all Lucas needed to know that he won. Joel straightened his back as he stood up and whipped around, fully ready to go toe to toe to get this gnat out of his face.

“Y’know what you remind me of? A snake.” Joel seethed as his fists trembled at his sides. “A snake in the tall weeds just waiting to strike. What’s your angle, Lucas?” his eyes narrowed as Lucas watched in pure amusement to watch the brave and unmovable Joel Miller slowly losing his composure.

“A snake, huh? Think more like a wolf. And you’re the boneheaded moose thinkin’ you’re unbreakable. Look at you now, Joel Miller. Trembling with rage from just my words. You know what I think?” He leaned in close enough just in case the older man couldn’t clearly hear him. “Even the strongest moose can be taken down by a pack.” He sneered.

Something inside of Joel snapped like a coil being pulled tight and he saw red as his hands grasped the lapels of the younger man's shirt with a furious rage.’ “Y’want me to go ahead and fuckin’ break the other wrist, huh?! Cus’ I can do that. Right here. Right now if you wanna keep makin’ these threats. We can have a real fuckin—”

“HEY! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOIN’ ON HERE?” It was Tommy, and Joel had never felt so relieved to see his brother in that moment as he released Lucas from his death-grip grasp.

Lucas looked like a deer in headlights as he was not expecting Tommy’s sudden arrival. Yet, he held his composure as he combed his fingers through his hair. “Your brother here was jus’ threatening to break my other wrist jus’ now.”

“Yeah, I heard that bit, right after you threatened him first. Get lost, now. Before I change my mind and report this directly to Maria. The hell you thinkin’ rilin’ my brother up like that?!”

Lucas was dumbfounded and ego-wounded. Most importantly, he was and always would be a coward. His eyes locked on Joel’s, and then Tommy’s before he slunk away in a wolf-like fashion through the stable doors.

Neither Miller brother spoke for a while as it appeared they were processing what had happened. Joel opted to slowly sink down between Tex’s and Tess’s stall with his hands resting between his knees as he worked on steadying his heartbeat to normal.

“Hey, Tommy?” Joel started, “How much of a’that did ya hear?”

“Enough to know that Lucas was purposely trying to get a rise out of you.” Tommy responded as he walked over to Timber’s stall and tightly shook his head.

Joel breathed out an immediate sigh of relief as he slumped back against the stall doors. “Tommy? Did Lucas show up to Jackson before, or after you and Maria found Beanie?”

Both brothers slowly met one another's gaze as Tommy gently stroked Timber’s neck with a steady palm. “After,” he confirmed Joel’s immediate suspicions.

Joel watched in silence as his brother walked over to him before he bent down and offered Joel his hand to help him up.

“Tommy, how come I didn’t hear ya come in?” Joel mumbled as he firmly grasped his brother’s hand before pulling himself up to his feet with a grunt.

Tommy could feel his heart begin to slowly sink into the pit of his stomach. Just like the way that the sun would gradually dip behind the horizon at the end of each day. He gave his brother a mournful look as he gently placed his hand along the right side of Joel’s head, and brushed his thumb across the scar. Right against the spot where the bullet missed. “Y’know why, brother.” He murmured softly with a heavy heart.

Joel knew, it was there, written into his skin. He swallowed his tears that were beginning to brew as he wrapped his arms around his brother and hugged him tightly. “Tommy, somethin’ ain’t right here. I’m gettin’ that sick feelin’ in my stomach. Were you here to see the way Tess acted towards Lucas?”

“Somethin’ definitely ain’t right. I told ya that I’d have your back, big brother. Remember? I arrived a bit too late. Musta missed that bit.”

Joel nodded as he slowly dropped his arms to his sides. “Well, she flipped out. I’m talkin’ like a complete 180 as soon as Lucas tried to touch her, Tommy. Pissed Tex the hell off as well. Somethin’ about it was...odd. Almost like she recognized his face or, she jus’ could sense that he ain’t a good person.”

“Well, horses are pretty sensitive creatures, so it is possible that maybe...”

Joel’s jaw inwardly clenched as his brain was replaying the events that just took place. There were numerous red flags that went ablazing. Tess’s fear towards Lucas. Lucas prying for information… And what the hell was the whole thing about him referring to himself as a wolf, and Joel as the boneheaded moose?

“I think we oughta start keepin’ a watchful eye on him. For all we know, he could be plannin’ somethin’ right under our noses. Tommy, the last thing you and I or Maria want is for someone to turn up missing. What about Ellie and Dina? The rest of the women around here? The sooner we–”

“Joel,” Tommy started with a heavy sigh, “I hear ya, but we need evidence. Cold. Hard. Evidence. I’d start by documenting what happened just now. Write it down in full detail. I’ll write up my own report on it as well. In the meantime, I'll keep an eye on his whereabouts, alright?”

Joel let out a heavy sigh as he pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger.

“Yeah, cus’ that’s the only way Maria would ever believe us.”

“We need to have shit to back up our accusations.” “Hey, while you’re here, mind helpin’ me build this pen for Honey? I gotta get back home in time to take Beanie to breakfast. I left her a note, but I don’t want her thinkin’ that I ditched her or somethin’.” Joel casually stated. Once he realized what he said, it was too late, and Tommy already had a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.

“Hold on a second now. Did you n’Beanie have a sleepover last night? As in she slept in your bed? Woo doggy, it’s about damn time!” Tommy nearly hollered as he went to give his brother a proper slap on his back.

Joel’s entire face turned beet red as he coughed into the sleeve of his flannel to hopefully hide his obvious blushing. “Uhh–yeah. You can call it a sleepover, I guess? Look, I don’t need ya goin’ and makin’ a big deal outta this. We kissed, and then I asked her if she would spend the night. That’s all that happened.” Well, we kissed a few times actually.

“Y’all kissed?! Joel, this is a big deal! Are ya kiddin’ me? Big brother, this is amazing news! Look at you bein’ the romantic!”

Joel let out a frustrated groan when he realized he wasn’t gonna get out of this one that easily. “Yeah. Yeah. We kissed, and I really like her, Tommy. So, can we just keep this between the two of us? I don’t want Maria, or anyone else for that matter gossipin’ about my private life.”

“Riiiight. Cus’ I’m jus’ gonna go and shout it from the rooftops that my big brother finally grew a pair and kissed the girl. Thank fuck. Honestly, I'm surprised it didn’t happen sooner.” The younger Miller brother was genuinely happy for his older counterpart. Everyone deserved that someone in their life, but Joel especially.

“I was jus’ buying myself time. Last thing I'd ever wanna do is unintentionally offend or hurt her. Now, will ya do some work for once in your life and hand me those wooden boards o’there?” he gestured to the planks of wood that were resting along one of the empty stalls. “All I will say is that woman is amazing. Not to sound like a total cliché, but she’s a breath of fresh air. Sunlight after a raging storm. She’s–”

“Made of stardust and coffee beans.” Tommy chimed in with a playful grin. “Well, you got it bad, Joel. S’alright. Happens to the best of us.” He shot his brother a knowing wink before he retrieved the wooden boards with ease.

Joel couldn’t help but allow a tiny glimpse of a smile tug on his lips from Tommy’s words. A moment of peace and blissful thoughts was better than dwelling on the elephant in the room. Something was unquestionably off about Lucas, and his rather alarming behavior.

*end Joel’s POV*

In the safety and familiar warmth of Joel’s sheets, your mind was free to wander and romp. Your brain's natural defenses to block out painful memories and terrifying events, crumbled as you subconsciously breathed in the comforting scent of Joel, your Joel. Unbeknownst to you, he was your ticket to peace. Your shining beacon of light through a pitch black formidable darkness.

As a gentle breeze swayed through the curtains in his bedroom, you were subconsciously reliving your time before Jackson. Before Maria, Tommy, and Joel. Memories that were once fragmented and jagged, were being pieced together behind softly closed lashes.

dead of the winter; post outbreak. Date unspecified. 50 miles from Jackson.

Tess was gradually growing weaker with each step she took through the billowing snow. Your horse was strong-footed and able bodied, but even she had her limits. You were beginning to feel numbness engulf your body. It felt like a thousand shards of ice impaling your skin. Your lungs ached and burned from the sub-zero temperatures. Your fingers and toes were growing stiff as you urged your mare onwards.

“Just a bit further, please, Tess. We—we can’t stop now.” You murmured through chattering teeth as the wind whipped wildly and howled in your ears.

All hope seemed to disintegrate through your frozen lashes as you could feel your body begin to shut down. It was giving up, but you weren’t ready for death's cold grasp.

You were a survivor, after all.

Smoke. Fire. Warmth.

A miracle, or a hallucination created by your deteriorating body. The fact of the matter was that you were not going to die tonight. Tess seemed to sense your desperation and urgency as she forced herself to continue forward towards the looming evergreens. The distinguishable smell of ash wafted through your nostrils the closer you drew to the campsite. You knew that fire also meant danger, but your brain had gone into survival mode and could give less of a fuck about that.

The campsite you and Tess stumbled upon seemed to be unoccupied. It should have raised your suspicions, but when you collapsed from your saddle and landed on the snowy ground with a soft thud, you convinced yourself it was a miracle. You dragged yourself closer to the fire with whatever strength you had left and rubbed your frozen gloved hands together to create some friction.

Tess’s velvet soft muzzle nudged at your back as she checked to make sure that you were okay. Her ears perked and flicked in the direction of a familiar nicker as she lifted her head quickly to observe her surroundings. Four horses were seen happily munching away on a heap of hay. Your poor mare hadn’t eaten in what felt like weeks, and her own survival instincts kicked in as she approached the other horses with timid curiosity.

Your eyes fluttered shut as you hunched over in relief. You didn’t believe in God, but if you did, then this fire must have been brought to you by a goddamn angel.

Your relief turned to dread the moment you felt the cooling sensation of metal kissing the back of your neck.

“Don’t fuckin’ move.” The voice commanded as you slowly raised your arms above your head to show that you were no immediate threat.

“I’m—sorry. I assumed no one was here—I’m freezing.” Your teeth were still audibly chattering as you craned your neck to look up at the person the voice belonged to.

A man.

“Are you alone?” He had not removed the barrel of his gun from your neck as he proceeded to pat you down with his freehand.

“Yes, I am alone.”

He paused momentarily as he pondered on what should be done with you, the intruder.

“Where are you headed to?” He asked firmly.

“Nowhere. Just got caught up in this storm, and seeking shelter.”

“I see..and you’re not lyin’ when you said that you’re alone?”

“I swear on my life, I am alone. It’s just my horse Tess and I.” You pleaded softly as you took a shaky inhale through your nose.

“I believe you.”

Your shoulders immediately slumped in relief as you released the breath you were holding.

The man slowly retracted his gun into his holster before he offered you his hand. The first thing you noticed was his tattooed skin on the inside of his wrist. The fabric of his jacket had lifted just enough for you to make out the design. A wolf head with beady red eyes that appeared to be staring right into your soul.

“Thank you. I’ll be out of your hair by the morning. I just need to warm up a bit if that’s alright?” You grasped his outstretched hand as he gently hoisted you to your feet.

“Nonsense. You’re freezin’, and probably starvin’, right? C’mon, let’s get you somethin’ to eat.”

You were beyond starving, but he didn’t need to know that. You were slightly weary of this stranger's sudden hospitality, but that didn’t deter you from making the choice that would haunt you forever.

“I suppose..I could eat something.” You mumbled under your breath.

He smiled, it appeared genuine on the surface, but it masked unspeakable evil beneath white teeth, and kind eyes.

He told you his name, and you told him yours as he led you to his nearby tent. Your body shamelessly relaxed as he offered you safety and food in your belly. If only you knew what was to come.

You didn’t leave the following morning. Or the morning after . Nor the morning after that. You stuck around because the truth was, you weren’t going to survive on your own for much longer, and here was an opportunity that your brain was screaming at you to not pass up on. Endure and survive, and survive you did. Even if it meant joining a raiders camp.

It didn’t happen overnight, as trust takes time to be built and nurtured, but when it did happen, the lines were gradually blurred. Was this a genuine feeling from your heart that hadn’t been touched by another soul since before the outbreak, or was this simply your brain concocting a plan to keep your heart beating, and your blood pumping. The fact of the matter was that you firmly believed your body was incapable of dipping back into the shredded remnants of intimacy that you left behind in Austin. One thing was for certain, this man offered you protection, warmth, and steady nutrients, and you’d be damned if you let that go.

In your eyes, you consensually engaged in a physical relationship with this man. Make him want you. Make him need you so much that you’ll never live in fear again. Because once you make him believe that he is important, he’ll protect you till your last dying breath.

If only it were that easy. If only you knew that the monsters weren’t the cordyceps, but instead they were shaped as a man that you willingly shared a tent with.

You thought you had played him like a fiddle, but he was onto you without you realizing it. He had your little game all figured out, and when you did, it was too late.

Those same kind eyes, and bright smile was the last thing you remember seeing before everything went black as your body slumped into his lap. The tea mug that was in your hands now clattered to the ground, shattering upon impact. Your arm fell limp at your side as your breath stilled. Unbeknownst to you, the tea he gave you was laced, and now you were at his mercy.

When you awoke the following morning, your mind was groggy and laden with confusion as you tried to piece together the missing fragments of last night’s events . The ground was cold beneath you as your eyes fluttered open. The coolness of metal bit fiercely at your bare skin giving you goosebumps You were encaged; literally. Surrounded by steel bars as you struggled to pull yourself up into a sitting position, but it felt like your body weighed a ton of bricks. You tried to scream, but your vocal chords felt shot as your voice fell silent.

You shook the bars with a new instilled fear as tears flooded your cheeks like a rushing river. Your eyes frantically looked around as a heavy pair of boots slowly approached.

“Wouldn’t do that if I was you, princess.” The familiar voice cooed unpleasantly and bile rose up your throat.

“You—you did this to me! Why?!” Your voice cracked. Your brain was scrambling to piece your broken memory together. One moment you were drinking tea, and the next—

“You played me for a fuckin’ fool. Thought you could just use me for your own survival, huh? Well, baby, hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you ain’t fuckin’ goin’ anywhere.”

“What—what are you talking about?! What did you do to me?! Where are my clothes?!”

He crouched down as his cruel gaze met your frightened one. His hand grasped your chin harshly as he yanked your face against the bars that encaged you. “I put you in your fucking place. Did you really think I wouldn’t catch onto your little game? You think you’re so fuckin’ smart, huh? You thought you had me all figured out. That’s where you’re wrong, baby. Oh so wrong. You’re the fuckin’ fool.”

“Please, I’m sorry! I wasn’t—you’ve got it all wrong! I swear!” You pleaded desperately as he dug the blunt end of his fingernails into your chin.

“Oh, my dear sweet, naive creature, you walked right into the wolves fuckin’ den without even realizing it. You’re the fool for trusting me, and now you’re gonna pay for it until I decide to put you out of your misery. Save your tears, princess. You’re gonna need them.”

You woke up in a thick pool of sweat. The sheets clung to your skin like glue, and it felt like you were trapped. Joel’s bedroom sickly transformed into steel bars. Cold, and biting at your raw skin. You blinked, hoping this was all a hallucination. Your mind just playing a twisted trick on your fragile state. You called for Joel. You called for anyone who could possibly hear your pleas. The more you struggled, the more the bars seemed to close in on you. Suffocating. Stripping your lungs of all oxygen as your hands clawed at your throat.

Where was Joel?

You squeezed your eyes shut tight to the point where it felt painful. Seconds ticked before you finally threw the covers from your body with a strangled gasp. Your eyes shot open as you surveyed your surroundings. The steel bars were gone. The tattoo—

Tattoo

Wolf head

Beady red eyes

You chanted these three phrases under your breath like a woman gone mad. Your skin was clammy to the touch as you stumbled away from the bed.

Tattoo

Wolf head

Beady red eyes

Write this down.

Your eyes frantically locked in on the note that was left along the nightstand. You snatched it up in a fury. Your vision darted across every word on the page as if it held some hidden clue between the lines.

You continued to recite the three phrases as you tucked the note into the pocket of the flannel pajama bottoms you were wearing. Your ears picked up on the familiar sound of the front door being unlocked. Your feet seemed to carry you faster than your brain could process as you stumbled out of Joel’s bedroom.

Tattoo

Wolf head

Beady red eyes

“Joel!” You yelled urgently from the top of the stairs

“Beanie!” He answered back with the same level of urgency. He met you at the halfway point of the staircase before you collapsed into his arms.

“Beanie?! What’s wrong? Darlin’ what’s happened?” His arms remained anchored around your waist as you grasped his forearms tightly, he surely would have indents in his skin from your death grip.

“Tattoo. Wolf head. Beady red eyes.” You mumbled with your forehead pressed deeply into his chest.

“Beanie, what are you goin’ on about? What tattoo? Darlin’, this ain’t makin’ any sense at all! Please, tell me what’s going on?!” He tried his hardest not to yell, but after what happened in the stables, he was in fact freaking out.

“He—he has a tattoo! A tattoo on his wrist, Joel!” You spoke in a frantic, excitable tone.

“Beanie, who has a tattoo?” His tone was hushed, and far less frantic than your own.

You knew his name. You heard it in your nightmare. Five letters. You could say it. You could say it right now and it would all be over!

“The man. He—he has a tattoo. Right wrist, Joel! He has a tattoo. A wolf head! Beady red eyes! It’s on his wrist! I know it is—you have to believe me!”

“Beanie, darlin’, I believe you. Is this the man that?—“

it was as if everything came crashing down around you so suddenly. You stilled in his grasp. Your voice ran silent as you slowly lifted your head from his chest. Your eyes were glazed over as if you were dead inside. Perhaps you were. Perhaps your body was shutting down. Were you breathing? Was your heart pumping blood? Everything was sounding so fuzzy. So far away. The cage. The steel bars. No. No. No. please! You—you have it all wrong! I swear!

You couldn’t hear Joel screaming your name. You couldn’t feel his hands around your body. You couldn’t see him. You were reaching out for him and touching nothing but thin air.

“Beanie, what’s happening?! You’re scarin’ me!” He watched in horror as your eyes rolled back into your skull before you went limp in his arms.

“Doc, I don’t fucking understand. What the hell happened to her?! She was muttering under her breath. Something about a tattoo on a man’s wrist! Next thing I know, she’s talking as if I ain’t even there! Like she was reliving somethin?!’ Then her eyes roll back—and I fuckin’ thought she was dead!”

“Joel, I need you to calm down. She had an extremely intense PTSD episode. I’m not even sure if I have the qualifications to explain it. It was a panic attack that led to her body to shut down ...” The doctor spoke in a hushed tone.

��Don’t fuckin’ tell me to calm down! Do you have any idea what that was like to witness it?! I didn’t even fucking know how to help her, doc!” Joel was gripping his hair so tightly between his fists, it was shocking that he didn’t accidentally tear any strands out.

“Joel, I’m gonna need you to calm down, or you’re gonna get escorted out. Do I make myself clear? Not to mention, you’re gonna fucking hyperventilate if you keep this shit up! I need you to take some deep breaths and pull yourself together!” Doc sounded exasperated as he struggled to keep his own cool.

“Joel?! Hey, hey! C’mon, let’s go take a breather, okay? Ellie and Dina are in there with her. She’ll be fine. C’mon, let’s go take a walk.” Tommy had shown up at just the right time as Joel was thinking of all the ways he could ring up the doc.

Tommy whispered something in his brother's ear as he wrapped a strong arm around his shoulder before nearly having to drag the older Miller brother down the hall through the doors of the med ward.

“Beanie?” A familiar feminine voice asked softly from your bedside.

Ellie and Dina were seated next to the hospital bed that you currently laid in.

Your lashes fluttered open as you squinted up at the annoying bright buzzing fluorescent lights. Your head turned to the side of the scratchy pillow as your brain began to process who the voice belonged to.

“Ellie? Dina? Where—am I?” You whispered with uncertainty as the two teens slowly looked over at one another before returning their focus back onto you.

“Beanie,” Dina started, “you..had a panic attack.” Ellie murmured.

“What? I don’t remember any of it—who brought me here?”

“Joel did. He came rushing out of the house with you limp in his arms. He was yelling for help and we heard the commotion. Beanie, we thought you were dead.”

“When—did this happen?” You asked just nearly above a whisper as you began to cycle through your memories. Unfortunately, a huge chunk was missing and you could feel the frustration tears begin to brew along your waterline.

“This morning. Right before the breakfast bell.” Dina confirmed. She let go of Ellie’s hand as she reached for the box of tissues for you.

“What time is it now? How long have I been here?”

“An hour after the dinner bell went off. You’ve been unconscious all day, Beanie.” Ellie stood up from the chair and approached your bedside slowly sinking down along the edge of the worn mattress. “Can we get you anything? You must be starving.”

Your body sunk further into the mattress as the weight of Ellie’s words made their mark. It felt like it had only been minutes, when it had in fact been hours. “Some water, and—bread with honey? If the mess hall is still open.” You were feeling quite parched.

“Of course. C’mon, Dee. We might have to bribe Angie to whip something up. We’ll be right back. Okay, Beanie?” Ellie gently patted your covered knee before she stood up from the edge of the bedside and offered her hand to Dina.

“Okay.” You weakly responded.

Shortly after the girls left, the door opened once more. Your mind had already hoped it was Joel, but instead you were met with a different pair of brown eyes; Tommy’s.

“Hey, how are we feelin?’” The younger Miller brother softly asked as he sank down into one of the chairs.

“Where’s Joel, Tommy?”

“He’s outside takin’ a breather. Got pretty mouthy with doc, so I stepped in before things coulda gotten ugly. He’ll be alright though. Jus’ need him to blow off some steam first. He’s a bit too excitable to be in here right now.”

You could faintly taste copper along your tongue as you slowly sat up. The right side of your mouth felt swollen and tender, and when you reached your hand up to touch the outside of your cheek, Tommy gently grabbed your wrist and lowered it back down to your side.

“Y’tore your mouth up pretty good. Doc said it’ll heal on its own, but to try and not chew on the right side. Don’t wanna go and irritate it.”

“Tommy, I don’t remember what happened. None of it.”

“Beanie, it’s okay. It was a panic attack. The Doc believes you to have PTSD. You’re gonna be alright. Joel told me that before you passed out, you were muttering about a tattoo on a man’s wrist? Beanie, I know how adamant my brother is about protecting you, but I am too. So, if there’s anything you remember outside of the tattoo, I need you to tell me, okay?” Tommy was a good person. You knew this since him and Maria saved you all those years ago. He never treated you differently. You could trust him just as much as you could trust Joel.

Five letters. Tattoo. Wolf head. Beady eyes.

Tommy wrote everything down.

Ellie and Dina came back with water, bread with honey plus a bit of chili from the mess hall. When Angie heard the news, she wasted no time to whip something up for you. She was such a giving person.

Doc didn’t have any helpful information to relay back to you. He basically just told you to take it easy, and to let your mouth heal. He had no answers to your questions, psychiatry isn’t his field after all. And this made you feel like you truly were just a nutty coffee woman. Maybe even a lost cause. It wasn’t until deep into the night when your Joel finally made an appearance.

You were half asleep when you heard the sound of one of the chairs scrape across the flooring. The sound nearly had you shooting up from the covers before two strong, yet gentle pair of hands eased you back down.

“Shh. It’s okay, Beanie. It’s just me. It’s just Joel.” He reassured you as he slowly sank down into the chair as he removed his hands from your shoulders and rested them between his knees.

Your eyes zoned in on the gauze wrapped around his bicep as he cleared his throat softly.

“Joel, what happened to you?” You timidly asked.

“S’just a scratch, darlin.’ You were holding onto me pretty dang tight. Broke the skin a little, but I’m okay.”

“Joel, I’m so sorry. I never intended to hurt you. I don’t even remember grabbing onto you like that. Where were we when it happened?”

“Beanie, it’s okay. You didn’t hurt me, Angel. You were havin’ a panic attack in the middle of the staircase. I came home from the stables, and you came rushing down, and we met halfway. It all happened so fast.”

“Joel, I did hurt you. You’re fucking injured because of me. I’m so sorry.”

Look what you’ve done.

He’s really going to think that you're just a nutty coffee woman now.

“Beanie, I need you to believe me when I tell you it’s okay. You didn’t have any control of your actions, and I’d never hold that against you, okay? Y’just, you had me so freaked out. You stopped breathing. I couldn’t find your pulse, and I thought you were dead. Thought you had a heart attack or somethin’. Scared me so bad. I’m just so happy that you’re okay.” He was reaching for your hand now as his fingers loosely interlocked with your own.

“I stopped..breathing? Oh god, Joel. I—I don’t even know what to say. Doc didn’t even have much of an explanation for me. Just told me to take it easy and to be gentle with my mouth.”

“He’s fuckin’ useless. I wish he had the answers for you, Beanie. I really wish he did. But, the good news is that I can take ya home whenever you’d like, okay? We can stop by your place, and then head back to mine.”

“Joel, what are you talking about? Why can’t I go back to my home?” He saw the confused frown appear on your lips as he let out a heavy sigh. His thumb gently stroked the outside of your hand as his eyes met yours.

“Beanie, I know you ain’t gonna agree to this, but I think it’s best that for the time being you stay at my place. I want to make sure that you have the time to recover, and the girls would love to spend some more time with you. It’ll only be for a little while. I promise.”

“Joel, I appreciate your offer, but I just want to go home. Can I please go home?”

“Honey, I know you do, but this will only be for a few days tops. I would never force you to agree to this. I’m just suggestin’ it for your own well-being, okay? Jus’ need ya to trust me to trust you. Y’remember that day, dontcha baby?”

Even your stubbornness had its limits. Despite not initially agreeing, you could tell just from Joel’s eyes alone, that he just wanted to take care of you. Perhaps his initial reasoning was a little selfish, but it undoubtedly felt good knowing that someone in this world cared about you so much, that your well-being was important to them.

“Okay. I trust you, Joel.” You squeezed his hand firmly as he gave you a reassuring nod.

Joel gave you all the time that you needed to gather up your belongings from home. He assured you that this would only be temporary, and he just wanted to make sure that you would heal. You were too exhausted to put up a fight as you zipped your backpack up with a sigh.

You loosely held hands the entire short walk back to his home. You could faintly hear girlish giggles coming from the otherside of the front door as he unlocked it.

“Tommy sent Ellie and Dina over to keep an eye on Honey. We finished buildin’ her pen next to Tex earlier this morning.” He murmured softly as he pushed the handle down and nudged it open with his shoulder.

A smile began to slowly creep over your tired features as Ellie, Dina, and a very playful Honey were seen in your peripheral. Dina was laying between Ellie’s arms on the couch while she was holding the baby bottle at Honey’s level. The young fawn was happily drinking her fill from the bottle, her fluffy white tail wagging happily.

Joel brushed past you with ease before he cleared his throat. “Hey, if you want, y’girls can take Honey up to Ellie’s for the night?”

Ellie briefly made eye contact with Joel before she returned her gaze to the sweet giggles coming from Dina. “Are you sure that’s alright?”

“Positive. S’late , and Beanie oughta be gettin’ some sleep.” Joel replied.

“Alright. We’ll get out of your hair then, Joel. C’mon, Dee, let’s go to bed.” She gave Dina’s shoulder a soft squeeze.

Joel watched silently as the two girls departed from the couch. Dina was protectively holding Honey in her arms now as if she was a small child. The two girls nodded in your direction before they headed upstairs to Ellie’s room.

He didn’t sleep a wink. Last night’s nightmare a long forgotten memory. He wanted to make sure you were okay. So, he stayed up for the rest of the night thinking about you and Ellie.

Two days had passed since your panic attack. Joel would be with you in the early mornings before he’d be whisked off on patrol, and he’d be with you in the evenings. When he wasn’t around during the day, you were graced by both Dina and Ellie’s presence. You weren’t aware of it yet, but both girls cared for you deeply. Girlhood was alive and well in Jackson.

You spent the afternoon in the stables with Ellie and Dina Spending time with the horses and Honey. The young fawn was settling into her new home under the watchful eye of both Tex and Tess.

In the evening, shortly after dinner, you suggested to the girls that it would be fun to have a proper girls night. Face masks, movies, snacks, and of course some crafting. You showed them how to make paint paste from crushing down flower petals and adding a bit of water to turn the powder into a workable paste. A dash of olive oil helped lessen the grainy texture. You promised them that at a later date, you’d show them how to spin the clay wheel, just as you promised Joel.

The record player was crackling softly when the front door squeaked open and closed. Joel hung his rifle along the side of the door before he sunk down onto the bench with a soft grunt. His back hurt ten times more than usual today. He and Tommy patrolled for miles under the sweltering sun. And his frustrations were apparent as he unlaced his boots with a huff, and threw them to the side.

Ellie and Dina were seated at the kitchen table, focused on their paintings as you were making a plate of sandwiches to share. Despite being focused on the task at hand, you faintly heard the sound of the front door opening. You knew Joel was home, finally.

He was scrubbing his hands down his face when he heard your footsteps before you sat down along the wooden bench beside him.

“Hey.” He mumbled tiredly as he dropped his hands to his knees. “What’s goin’ on in there?” He questioned as he turned his body to face you, wincing from the strain it put on his back.

“Girls night. You wanna join? I just made some sandwiches.” You placed your hand gently across his own with a soft smile.

“Kind of you to offer, but I ain’t a girl. I don’t wanna spoil y’alls fun. I will, however, have a sandwich if there’s any to spare for me?” He forced a smile through his pain, clenching his jaw slightly.

“Joel, there’s plenty of sandwiches to go around. I’ll fix you a plate, alright?” You squeezed his hand soothingly.

“Thank you, doll. I’ll probably be out in the shed so y’girls have the house to yourselves.” He added.

“How was patrol?” You asked with genuine concern when you zoned in on the red, blistered patch spreading across the bridge of his nose. “You want some lotion for that? Sun must have been brutal out there.”

He scoffed under his breath as he leaned back against the wall. “It was shit.” He wanted to tell you more, but it was too risky. Too much was currently at stake, and he didn’t want to cause you unnecessary stress. You had been through too much. “Yeah, sun was brutal. Spent a lot of time out in the open plains. Ain’t much cover out there.” He drawled.

“I’m sorry, honey. ” You murmured as you reached your hand up and gently raked your fingers through his hair in a hope to bring him some form of comfort.

“S’okay, darlin.’ How are you doin?’” He asked softly as he leaned into your caress. His mind may have been a warzone, but his words masked it well enough.

“Pretty good. Honey is settling into her new home. I showed Ellie and Dina how to make their own paints from crushed up flower petals. We’re gonna do face masks soon and then watch a movie. Are ya sure you don’t want to join?” You leaned in, letting your fingers slowly drop from his hair, and brush across his weathered cheekbone.

“I’m glad to hear it. Face masks and a movie sound tempting, but I don’t wanna intrude and spoil y’alls fun.” He reassured you as he went in for a kiss. You must have sensed that he needed it as soon as his lips brushed yours, and your lashes fluttered shut. The sweet moment passed as he gently squeezed your knee before he pushed himself up from the bench. You watched as he shuffled down the hall and out of sight.

With a sigh you gathered up his discarded boots and placed them neatly on the doormat next to your own before returning to the kitchen. “Are you girls ready for some sandwiches and face masks?” You asked with a genuine smile as you clasped your hands together.

Both girls nodded and offered to help clean up the table first while you grabbed a plate and placed a couple sandwiches on it before making your way outside to Joel’s shed. You found him sitting in silence with his notebook open on a blank page, sans the title in the top right corner; To Bill and Frank. You set the plate down quietly, pressing a kiss to the side of his head before heading back inside the house.

Dina was in the family room with her own plate while Ellie was still putzing around the kitchen. It appeared as if she had been waiting for you to return based on the way she was nervously ringing her hands together.

“Hey, Beanie?” The teen asked as she eyed her drying painting.

“What’s up, kiddo?”

She took a deep breath before exhaling. “How’s um–how’s Joel doin’ lately?” She asked just above a whisper.

“He’s doing okay. Well, at least I think he is? I think Patrol is weighing on him lately. Y’know, I'm sure he’d love it if you asked him yourself.”

A pained expression crossed Ellie’s face as she brought her arms across her chest in a protective motion, shaking her head tightly at your suggestion. “I can’t do that, Beanie.”

“Ellie, look, I know that you and Joel aren’t on good terms right now, but–”

“What do you know of it?” She questioned.

Your eyes flickered to where Dina was sitting on the couch, and then back to Ellie as your shoulders slumped inwards. “Let's go upstairs for a minute to talk, okay? You can help me grab the skincare stuff.”

Ellie glanced back towards Dina before she nodded in agreement and followed you up the staircase.

“Beanie,” She started timidly, “Did Joel–did he tell you about me?” Ellie was a smart enough kid to know the answer, but she wanted to hear it directly from you.

“He did, a few days ago. The same night that you came home and found us in the kitchen. After you left, he told me about what he did to save you and that you’re distant from him because of it.”

Ellie fought the urge to laugh as she leaned against the bathroom sink with her arms crossed. You could see her fingers begin to tremble. “Yeah? Did he also fail to mention that he fuckin’ killed an entire hospital of Fireflies? And he took the choice of making my life matter away from me?” Her tone was bitter as she gnawed fiercely on her lower lip.

“Ellie, he told me everything, and the reason why he did it.” You reasoned with her as you set the jars of homemade clay masks down on the counter. “Before you jump to conclusions, I understand why you’re upset with him, Ellie.”

She looked surprised as she briefly made eye contact before staring at a chipped patch of paint on the wall. “So, you don’t agree with him then? Is that what you’re telling me? He took my choice away, Beanie. My life could have mattered, and he fuckin’ took that from me.” She whispered grimly as stubborn tears began to trickle down her cheekbones.

“Ellie, your feelings are completely valid. But, your life does matter. You are so important. I know it feels like everything has been ripped from you, but you mean so much to him, Tommy, Dina,myself. I know it’s hard, I know it is, kid. He did what every parent would do for their child, biological or not. He’ll always believe that what he did was right, and that will never change.” You reached your hand up and gently placed it along her shoulder as more tears began to fall.

“I just wish he had given me that choice, Beanie. After everything he and I went through? For what? For my immunity to just be fuckin’ wasted? What if there was a chance? What if this cure–” She clenched her fists tightly as she tucked her chin against her shoulder to try and block out the tears.

“Ellie, the journey that you and Joel took together was not wasted. You survived together. You helped him in more ways than you and I can even begin to imagine. You saved him just as much as he saved you. Ellie, he loves you. He loves you so goddamn much. The world is filled with cruel people. People who take advantage of others weaknesses. People who were born with hate in their hearts, and people who learned to hate. To be cruel. To hurt those around them. Do you know what you’ve done for him, Ellie? You taught that man how to unlearn his hatred for the world. You did that, kiddo.”

Ellie’s sniffles echoed against the faded tiles as she wiped her tears on her sleeve. Her perspective of her purpose in life, and her immunity had been skewed for so many years. Marlene told her she could change the world. She could save everyone. She was manipulated into believing that there could be a cure, and as soon as her assumed purpose was ripped away from her, she felt useless.

“There never was going to be a cure, was there? I was..going to die for nothing?” She questioned somberly as her glassy eyes met your empathy filled ones.

“I don’t have that answer for you, kiddo. I’m sorry. Look, I won’t tell you what you should do, but if you find it in your heart to forgive him, start by talking to him, okay? Whenever you feel ready.” You squeezed her shoulder with a reassuring nod.

“And from there?” She asked in hope that somehow you would have all the answers.

“You both get to live in peace as father and daughter.” You concluded.

Ellie was throwing her arms around your neck in an instant, hugging you tightly as she buried her face into your shoulder, sobbing softly.

You let your own arms drape loosely around the teen’s frame as you hugged. You whispered to her that everything would be alright in the end.

“He’s so lucky to have you, Beanie. You’re one in a million, and I'm happy that he has someone. He’s been through so much.” She murmured against your shirt, using the fabric as the vessel to catch her free falling tears.

“You’re one in a million too, kiddo.” You whispered softly, eyes glistening as you rubbed soothing circles into her back.

Joel was sitting out on the back porch. Seated with his guitar comfortably laying across his lap as he plucked a few strings. After writing the letter to Bill and Frank, he needed to take an emotional break from his current feelings. Music always helped, and music connected him to Sarah and Tommy. He was grateful for the fact that he could enjoy something as simple as playing a few strings on a guitar.

Ellie didn’t approach at first. She was nervous, evidently. After her heartfelt discussion with you, she made the conscious decision to finally take the first step in forgiving Joel for what he had taken from her.

Her boots creaked along the wood as his head slowly lifted. His lips parted, eyes glimmering in pure surprise as he set his guitar down to the side.

“Hey, kiddo.” He murmured in acknowledgement of her presence.

Ellie didn’t respond as she walked towards the railing along the porch and placed her hands against the ledge. Her shoulders were tense and stiff as he approached alongside her, owl mug clasped between his palms as his safety net.

“What’re you drinkin?’” She asked while looking down at faded wood on the railing.

“Coffee.” He responded softly while resting his arms over the ledge. “Shouldn’t y’be in there for girls night?” He brought the rim of the mug up to his lips before taking an inaudible sip.

“I just wanted to come out here for a bit of fresh air.” Ellie mumbled her little white lie.

“Oh, I see. Well, I don’t wanna go disturbin’ your fresh air.” He went to walk away, but Ellie stopped him.

“Joel, that’s not what I meant. Look, I just. Fuck, I’m so stupid.” She whispered under her breath.

“Kiddo, you’re not stupid. I jus–” He was cut off by her words slicing through the balmy air like a sharpened blade.

“I was supposed to die in that hospital, Joel. That was my purpose. And my life would have fuckin’ mattered, but you took that from me. I know you were just doin’ what you believed to be the right thing, Joel. I know you were just tryin’ to save me, but I can’t just let that go. I still lay awake at night thinking about what would have happened if I had died in that hospital. If the doctors extracted the cordyceps from my brain and created a cure, maybe the world would be a different place than it is now. I guess we’ll never know because there is zero chance of ever creating the vaccine.” She fought through fresh tears. In truth, she wanted to yell. To scream and pound her fists into his chest, but she knew this was for the better.

“Ellie, if I was ever given the chance, I’d do it all over again.” His eyes locked on hers. “I know I took that choice from you, but Marlene did as well. Why else do you think we were ambushed? Marlene knew that I wouldn’t let you go through with it had I known that you would have to die. I trusted Marlene , and she wouldn’t even let us say goodbye. To talk to you one last time. I asked and she took you to surgery while I was out cold.. I know it was selfish of me. I know it was, but losing the world felt unbearable and I had to save it.” He was visibly showing discomfort by the way his fingers flexed and trembled against the outside of the mug. His words fell heavy as he awaited Ellie’s response.

“Joel, you didn’t save the world. You took the last shred of hope that humanity had and fuckin’ crushed it! I could have made a difference! I could have saved the world, Joel!” Her voice cracked as her words were lodged in her throat from the oncoming wave of tears.

“I did save the world. I saved my world, Ellie. I lost a daughter once, and I wasn’t about to lose another. Not when you and I endured so much together. You may not be my flesh and blood, but you’re my daughter, and there is nothing that I wouldn’t do to keep you safe.” His own tears began to prick the corner of his eyes at his confession. His heart clenched and twisted like a fist. “I couldn’t lose you. You mean too much to me, Ellie.” He croaked.

“I don’t know if I'll ever be able to forgive you, Joel. But I would like to try.” There it was. That sliver of hope that you told Joel to hold onto, and Ellie the same. The extension of an olive branch. A father and daughter making up.

A stray tear rolled down his cheek and clinked softly against the rim of his mug. His lower lip wobbled as he sniffled softly.

“I’d like that.”

Ellie released the breath she didn’t realize she was holding as her body relaxed. She gradually found herself gravitating towards him as their shoulders brushed gently.

A moment’s silence passed before Joel spoke again. “Ellie, I need to tell ya somethin’ that only uncle Tommy and I know about, okay?”

“What is it that you need to tell me, Joel?” Her cheek slowly came to rest between the dip in his shoulder as his posture relaxed.

“Tommy and I have been gatherin’ up evidence and writing up reports to turn in to Maria. We’re under the suspicion that Lucas, one of the guys on patrol, has ulterior motives inside the community. I need you and Dina to stay sharp, okay? You see anythin’ suspicious, you alert Tommy and I immediately, okay, baby girl?”

“How long have you been suspecting him, Joel?”

“Since that night at the Tipsy Bison. When I confronted Seth for calling you and Dina a homophobic slur. The same night that Lucas ‘innocently’ grabbed Beanie’s arm outside the ladies room.“ He confirmed.

“Y’don’t think he has anythin’ to do with those charred bodies that you and Tommy found in the woods last winter, do you?” Ellie asked with uncertainty.

Joel sighed deeply as he tightened his grip around the mug. His deep brown pools met hers in a stern, serious look. “I think he has everythin’ to do with those poor women that we found in the woods.”

______________

*Ambiguous POV*

Raider camp. Approximately five miles south of Jackson

“And what if she’s not in her home, what do we do then?” The man asked.

“She’ll be there. I’m sure of it. And in the case she’s not? Don’t you fuckin’ bother showin’ up empty handed. Haven’t you been lookin’ for the opportunity to prove yourself to me? Well, here’s your chance. Don’t disappoint me.” The other man warned his counterpart with a deadly look as he twirled his favorite blade in his hand.

The peaceful utopian community of Jackson would never see this coming.

Banners made by the lovely @saradika 🤍

#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal #the last of us #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel the last of us #joel x f!reader #joel x reader #joel x female reader #joel x you #joel tlou #protective joel #joel miller fic #joel miller angst #joel miller fanfic #joel miller fluff #joel miller series

191 notes · View notes

epiemy · 11 months ago

Text

Jason Todd x Fem!Reader from our reality! Pt. 2

Warnings: just cursing (you’re a crazy bitch and Jason too)

Part 2 of 5 - Part 1

A/N: I missed this app so fucking much but I’m back :) hope you like this part of a series project.

Sorry for Grammar mistakes, enjoy!

"Oh boy, we are going to have a big job with this one." Words from a tired Jason.

“Hey, I’m still here, you know that?” You speak in disbelief. It still felt like a dream, where else would you get to see your favorite characters? You had never been able to shift before, so you faithfully doubted that was the case.

Jason just rolls his eyes saying “Unfortunately I noticed, you won't shut up for a single second” - and there goes your sympathy with him.

“Why are pretty people always jerks? - You're an exception Dick, shush” You say but stop as soon as you see Batman's cloak coming towards you, no longer able to control it, you end up smiling more than you've ever seen in your life, after all he was her childhood hero “My gods, Bruce Wayne? Batman? I could pass out!”

“Jason, no!” Dick speaks in warning before the youngest even opens his mouth, but even so he lets out a sneer and says:

“I could make YOU pass out” Jay mutters and you give him the middle finger “You already did that, idiot”, turning your attention to Bruce.

“Why is there a teenager in the cave, who apparently knows our secret identities? I'm only going to ask once” Batman speaks monotone and looks at the boys with his arms crossed and his mask removed.

“Ehm… well… funny story” Tim starts to say while scratching his head lightly, but Jason rolls his eyes.

“I brought her here, I heard some druggies talking about a girl falling from the sky and I went to check it out. I don't know how a demon can fall from the sky but there she is” He speaks ironically and you just stick out your tongue, murmuring that the only demon in this house was him. The boy continues “When I got close to her, she was cursing more than a sailor and had a fangirl attack shouting “Jaaaaason”, I erased her and brought her here. History end"

Bruce raises an eyebrow at Jason and sighs deeply, rubbing his temples. He honestly needed a break from all this, he couldn't take it anymore. “Currently, Barry informed us that there was a rupture of some barrier between universes caused by some meta, it turns out that she was brought from another reality and that is possibly why she knows our identities. Am I correct, miss..?”

“Y/n, and yes you are right. Finally someone with neurons- no offense Timmy” You mutter and the boy just shrugs, then continues talking “If the kid idiots had listened to me instead of fainting, I would have told them that in my reality you are all characters from a brand , so I theoretically know everything about each of you.” There was a silent pause “That seemed kind of scary, my bad.”

Minutes later, Bruce releases you from the place where you were tied up “As long as we don't know what happened, you are welcome to stay in the mansion, Alfred is already aware of this conversation and will prepare a room for you” He speaks calmly, you he just nods with a small smile in gratitude. He turns to his children “You. I want everyone in the mansion during this time, apparently you don't have an alternative version of her in this universe and she will have to stay here for some time, so we need to train her” He says leaving the Batcave.

“Soooo… Dick, can you and your nice ass show me my new room?” You say with a wide smile and you only hear Jason snort in the corner “What’s up, red bird? Do you want to show me instead of Richard? Come on come on, take me then” A hand sign is made by you, as you walk towards some stairs where Bruce had gone but Jason grabs your waist, changing the direction to the left “Oopsie, thanks kitty” You hear the laughter behind you.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” Jason says, walking up the correct floors with you.

#dc #dick grayson #damian wayne #tim drake #batfam x reader #jason todd x fem!reader #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x you #jason todd x reader #jason todd #jason todd fluff #red hood x you #bruce wayne

103 notes · View notes

m1ckeyb3rry · 7 months ago

Note

CONGRATS ON 500 FOLLOWERS WOOO!! its been a little over a year since ive found your writting, how time flies T-T Could you possibly write a platonic gojo & reader oneshot where its just snippets of Gojo's first year teaching and the reader is a 1st year student not part of jujutsu society? I'd prefer if the mc had a somewhat introverted personality while being grumpy bc of being forced to attend the school. U can change their behaviour to what u feel more comfortable writing if u want tho!!

── THE SCHOLAR

Synopsis: A short snippet of how Satoru Gojo convinces you to be his first student in full.

Event Masterlist

Pairing: Gojo & Reader

Chapter Word Count: 2.6k

Content Warnings: not many tbh…reader is a d1 hater of gojo and ino ig?? also just a hater in general LMAO she does NOT want to be there

A/N: wow anon i can’t believe it’s been a year since you found my account and that you’ve stuck around for so long, that means a lot to me!! i apologize for how long this took me and how short it is 😫 it was a bit difficult for me to write gojo as a teacher without feeling like i was just rehashing his dynamic w a previous y/n i’ve written 😓 but i hope this is somewhat close to what you wanted?? also idk if you’ve read my fic pomegranate ink or not but i did throw in a reference to it at one point so props to anyone who catches that hehe

Additional: part of my 500 follower event! see the event description and rules to make a request of your own.

You weren’t really sure what cause your classmate had to be as pleased as he was, but for some reason, the boy was bouncing in his seat, scribbling down notes with the fervor of a scholar — though you were quite certain that he was nothing of the sort, at least not when his test scores were taken into consideration.

“Hey,” you whispered, tossing an eraser at his head when your teacher’s back was turned. “Ino. What’s the big deal? We’re not even learning anything yet, so what are you writing down?”

“Are you kidding me? Gojo just told us an entire story of his past. That’s valuable information!” Ino said. You frowned at him.

“It’s not valuable information, because he’s so prone to embellishment that he’s all but an author at this point. Besides, do you think you, or anyone else for that matter, will ever face seven first grades and come out the winner, without even a scratch?” you said.

“He’s the strongest sorcerer in the world, though, so it’s feasible for him,” Ino said.

“Right,” you said, rolling your eyes. “Maybe for him, but not for anyone else. This is just bragging under the guise of an educational opportunity. We’re never going to be powerful enough to replicate such a feat, so what’s the use in wasting our time talking about it?”

“You’re such a spoil-sport,” Ino huffed. “We’re the first students to ever get to learn from Satoru Gojo, and somehow, you’re complaining about it? That’s ridiculous no matter what way you put it!”

“Is everything okay?”

Both you and Ino jumped as Satoru Gojo appeared in front of your desks, peering down at you over the lenses of his dark glasses. He didn’t seem annoyed that you were talking while he was ‘teaching’; in fact, he looked excited, as if he wanted to join in the conversation as well. You could imagine him pulling up a chair and resting his chin in his hands as he gossiped with you, and it made you scoff.

“Everything’s fine. We were just wondering when you were actually going to start the lesson,” you said.

“She was wondering that!” Ino rushed to clarify. You shot him a dirty look out of the corner of your eye, which he ignored — you supposed loyalty didn’t mean much to him, as you two weren’t really friends and therefore couldn’t inspire much loyalty in one another regardless. “I was telling her how fascinated I am by the story you were telling!”

“Suck-up,” you hissed.

“Stupid,” he hissed back. Gojo clapped his hands, returning to the front of the classroom with a distinctly unacademic swagger to his step that made you internally fume.

“No worries, we’re just getting to that part! Today, we’ll go over some basic curse theory,” he said, drawing simplistic shapes on the chalkboard to accompany his explanations. As usual, Ino was absorbed by the standard bullshit Gojo spouted, but you found it to be so boring that you actually began to nod off, catching up on the sleep you had missed last night due to a mission which had run later than expected.

Unlike Ino, who had been automatically enrolled in the school because of his family lineage, you had been scouted as a fresh talent by Satoru Gojo himself. It had been a long conversation, and he had only managed to convince you in the end by telling you all about Kaito Hinode, the well-regarded first year teacher who you would study under. Hinode was a sorcerer you believed you wouldn’t have trouble respecting, and so you begrudgingly agreed to attend the school and give the whole notion of ‘jujutsu sorcery’ a shot.

Then Hinode retired, mere weeks before you were set to begin at the school, and his replacement was revealed to be none other than that irreverent, inept, and decidedly unserious man who you had secretly hoped you would not see much more of: Satoru Gojo.

You didn’t even want to be a sorcerer in active duty, but the theoretical side of it interested you to an almost unhealthy extent. You spent days upon days studying the workings of curses and cursed energy, to the point that you could be considered almost an expert. That was the only thing cheering you about coming to the school, that you’d get to discuss with individuals on your level, and so it had been such a heartbreaking disappointment when Gojo, who cared little about the causes and more about the results, was the only proper sorcerer you came into frequent contact with.

The other teachers didn’t have time to entertain your pestering, far too busy with their own students, which meant that Gojo was really your only option. And of course you had tried — really, you had. You had presented him with your questions and ideas, but he had only made a face and told you that studying curse theory to this extent wouldn’t help anyone, and least of all yourself.

He wanted you to learn how to fight, but you didn’t care for that. You didn’t want to fight. If you could spend the rest of your days shut away in a study, reading your books and taking notes on them, then you’d be quite content. You were reluctant to go on missions, even if you were ten times better than your peers, and you often dragged your feet heading into your practical classes. More than once, Ino had had to hoist you over his shoulders and sprint to the training field so that you were not both late, and you knew that you probably shouldn’t be so harsh on him given that, but because it meant that you had to exert yourself on the battlefield instead of rereading your favorite essays, his good intentions only made you resent him more.

“You know, you could really be a great sorcerer,” Gojo said to you one day. You were sitting on a bench while Ino did exercises, ink smudging your hand as you meticulously annotated a book that the principal had given to you. You blinked up at him, amazed once again at how tall he was. He blocked out the sunlight, his shadow looming over you in a way that would’ve been ominous if he wasn’t so typically harmless.

“Hm?” you said, returning to your book when you realized he wasn’t going to say anything of importance. “Sure, I guess I could be.”

“Becoming a first grade isn’t an impossibility for you. It’s something attainable, which is incredibly rare for someone as young as you,” he continued.

“Right,” you said.

“Do you care about that, though?” he said.

“Nope,” you said. “I have no interest in being a first grade sorcerer. It just means more dangerous missions, doesn’t it? I don’t care about all of that.”

“It also means a higher salary,” he said.

“Probably not high enough to make up for the risks,” you said.

“Well, it’s pretty high, though only you can decide if it makes up for the risks or not,” he said.

“Listen, sir, I’m only even here because you told me I could further my studies with people renowned in their fields. Do you mind telling me what field you’re renowned in? Because for some unfathomable reason, you’ve ended up as my teacher,” you said.

“I’m…the strongest sorcerer? In the world?” he said, though the way he phrased it made it seem like he was asking you instead of telling. You shrugged.

“That’s an intrinsic talent. You didn’t learn to be that way; you were just born with it. Sure, you had to practice, but practicing and studying are different. Anyways, even if you are the strongest soldier, I think we’ve established that that’s not something I’m interested in. I was supposed to be under the tutelage of wise and experienced professors, but instead, I’m being instructed by you, who’s barely even a few years my elder and has never taught before,” you said, closing your book and holding it to your chest, smiling tightly at him. “I’m staying here because my parents already paid the tuition fee, but I’m not happy about it. Just so you know.”

“If you’re a first grade sorcerer, you also get more access to information,” he said after a moment. “Stuff behind a million clearances that only people of a sufficiently high rank get access to.”

You froze, your eyes brightening at the thought of this forbidden knowledge. You already knew that you were missing several key pieces in your preliminary research, but no matter how hard you looked, you had never been able to find the answers to the seemingly obvious questions. Was this why? Was it really because you did not have the seniority to warrant the understanding?

“Is that truly the case?” you said.

“I can’t help you in terms of books and learning and all of that boring stuff,” he said. “But if you put in a bit more effort, I can turn you into someone that the higher ups listen to, instead of the other way around.”

You mulled this over before nodding, standing up and leaving your book on the bench.

“Okay. I’ll do as you tell me to, but like I said earlier, I’m not going to be happy about it,” he said.

“Who cares? You can be the gloomiest girl alive!” he said, reaching out to ruffle your hair. “Let’s work together, Y/N!”

“I’m your student,” you reminded him. “Not your friend.”

He waved you off. “You’re old enough to be both. Now let’s get to training!”

It was horrible, being Gojo’s favorite student. For one, Ino was jealous — although soon enough he found another mentor to cotton on to, and then your relationship with him mended into something a little more cordial and polite. For another, Gojo had this strange penchant for throwing you into impossible situations and watching in glee as you struggled to get out of them.

His missions also tended to be errands disguised as pressing matters. Once, he made you run around Tokyo, stopping in various stores so that you could improve your conditioning — stores which just so happened to carry the items on his week’s grocery list. Another time, you single-handedly had to exorcise every single curse harassing a nearby bakery — a bakery which just so happened to carry a specialty flavor of cake that was his new favorite. Whenever you complained about the silly chores, he asked if the exercise had made you stronger or not. You would begrudgingly admit that it had, and then he’d tell you that you should just think of it as a win-win scenario and stop whining.

“Y/N!” That was how it always began: he would shout your name as he entered the classroom, usually accompanying it with a wad of paper or some other, similarly harmless object sent flying your way. You’d catch it in one hand and glare at him.

“What?” This would prompt him to explain his ridiculous plan for the day, after which he would turn to Ino and hand him his assignments. He had gotten special permission from the school to train you in this non-orthodox manner, given that you were so far ahead in any material that giving you homework would be redundant and a waste of time for all parties involved. For his part, Ino did not complain, for he had long ago lost interest in training with Gojo, who was admittedly terrible at actually explaining anything of note.

You made a good pair, you and Gojo, or at least as good of a pair as could be made given the circumstances. As the year went on, you grew more and more familiar with the reasoning behind his atypical style, and though you would never cease to complain, it was more lighthearted, a habit instead of a genuine gripe.

“You’ll be promoted any day now,” Gojo told you on the last day of your first year — the last day that he would be your director supervisor. “They’re waiting for you to grow a bit older, but it’s maturity you lack, not talent. If you participate in the Exchange Event next year, you’ll get the recommendations you need without a problem.”

“If?” you said, picking up on what he had left unsaid. “Isn’t it mandatory? Why wouldn’t I participate?”

“It’s mandatory if you’re living on campus, yes,” he said.

“And what cause would I have to not be living on campus?” you said.

“You’re interested in curse theory, aren’t you?” he said. When you nodded, he sighed. “Still? I was hoping you’d have moved on by now…well, I can get an alternate course of study approved for you by the principal, if you want.”

“An alternate course? What would that entail?” you said.

“One of my fellow special grade sorcerers, Yuki Tsukumo, specializes in researching the exact types of things you find so fascinating. If she agrees to it, then you could serve as an assistant of sorts to her. It’ll be like an internship or something. She won’t let you slack off — it’ll be much worse than anything I put you through, that’s for certain — but if that’s the path you want to take, then it’s an option,” he said.

You had never loved him quite as much as you did in that moment. Without even taking a moment to think about it, you nodded enthusiastically, beaming at him.

“Yes! Yes, Gojo, sir, that would be ideal. I’ve read some of the proposals Tsukumo’s submitted to the higher ups, and oh, if I got to work with her, it would be such a dream,” you said.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” he said. “She still has to agree to it.”

“Do you think she’ll say no?” you said.

“Maybe at first,” he said. “After she meets you, though? No way. You’re my pupil, after all. You’ll be the most impressive student she’s ever taken under her wing — and I can attest to the fact that you’ll be far and away the most dedicated.”

You supposed you had some things to thank him for, then. The corners of your lips twitched as you bowed your head at him, causing him to grunt in confusion; after all, you had never shown him such deference before.

“You’re not that bad as a teacher,” you said. “You know, for it being your first time, I think you did alright.”

“Yeah?” he said eagerly before composing himself, clearing his throat before speaking again. “Yeah, I guess you turned out just fine.”

“Thank you for everything, Gojo,” you said. “Please know that you’ll always have an ally in me.”

His black sunglasses slid down the bridge of his nose, just a bit, but enough that you could see the way his eyes softened ever so slightly. Then he reached out and socked you in the arm affectionately.

“Considering how often I butt heads with the higher ups, I might call upon you one day,” he said. “Don’t make that kind of promise lightly, is what I’m saying.”

“I’m not making it lightly,” you said. “If you call upon me, I’ll come. That’s what you do for someone who’s changed your life, right?”

Even the shades he had shoved back into position could not hide the breadth of his smile nor the depth of his fondness. He nodded, slowly at first and then quickly, like he wanted you to be very sure of his agreement.

“True,” he said, and then he patted you on the head. “Guess that means you can call on me whenever you want, too. I’ll be there.”

You smiled at him over your shoulder as you left for the summer and thought that you might never be so fortunate — or unfortunate — as to have a teacher quite like him again.

#gojo satoru #jjk x reader #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #reader insert #canon au #m1ckeyb3rry milestone #m1ckeyb3rry writes

47 notes · View notes

thoughtsforsoob · 11 months ago

Note

Hiiii!This is for your event<3

Soobin + Helping Y/N with maths

Ngl,I thought he was genuinely bad at maths until I saw him help Hyuka with his homework.

I hope that you have a wonderful day/night🤍

a/n: I am so genuinely bad at math (aka: I failed math so miserably both time I have taken it here at university and now have to take it again). I hope this is good. inbox is always open for anything !!

math was genuinely testing you this semester and you hated it so much! you would sit there all night, in front of your computer, searching up videos about concepts you were supposed to learn in class. it's not like you weren't going to class either. you just had the worst math professor in existence! they had no idea what they were doing and when it was time to leave class, everyone just looked so dazed and confused because of the 2 hours of confusion they just faced.

tonight was a whole different beast. you were supposed to memorize the unit circle and things were not making any sense to you. math just seem like a bunch of numbers that had rules with a hundred and one different exceptions. how were you supposed to memorize any of this, let alone apply it to the questions on your homework?

it's currently 12 am and there you are, still at your desk, practically pulling all of the hair fro your scalp. soobin was coming home late so you knew you could get away with staying up late like this. he never let you stay up too late to study, arguing that you needed sleep to even get nay work done.

a few minutes after 12 struck, you were too busy to even heard the bedroom door open, revealing a tired looking soobin. he had showered at the dorm before coming to your apartment for the night. he saw you at your desk and sighed, which snapped you out of your studying. you turn to him and gasp, putting your hands over your chest, "soobin! you scared me! what the hell?" you look back at your computer and notebook, "ugh...this is torture!" soobin put down his things in the corner he always left them at and went straight to your side. "math?" he asked, looking at the screen at your scratch paper. you only nod and drop your head into your hands. he rubs your back gently, "here, why don't you let me help? I know it's against my rules to study this late but let's give it a try." you nod up at him and he smiled, kissing your forehead.

you two had taken this study session to the kitchen, taking a little break to gather some drinks and cook some ramyeon to fuel both your brains for the night ahead. once you both were back at the table, ready to go, soobin too a Quick Look at your assignment. he thought for a second and you both started to get to work. he carefully and thoroughly explained the first problem to you and how he would solve it. he shows you his work and writes down all the steps neatly on a pice of paper. once this problem was solved, he lets you work on the next one, which was much easier because you were able to look at the example problem me made for you and were able to clearly see the steps he took. the smile on your face when you finally understood and got the problem correct was a smile he could never erase from his mind. it made his heart warm.

after your assignment was done and the food and drinks were all gone, it was finally time to get ready for bed. all throughout your skincare routine and brushing your teeth, you thanked soobin for being such. great help. "hey, I thought you said you hated math?" he chuckles, "well, I do but that doesn't mean im not good at it." you sign and rolls your eyes, "we can't all be special like you, big dummy." "hey! I wasn't dumb when I was helping you just a few minutes ago!"

#txt fluff #txt imagines #txt post #txt #tomorrow x together #soobin x reader #soobin fluff #txt headcanons #tubatu #choi soobin #soobin

78 notes · View notes

doyouknowthisbook-poll · 4 months ago

Text

Do you know which book this is from?

Please reblog the polls, but KEEP IT SPOILER-FREE to make people read the excerpt with an open mind 💖📚 Title and author will be revealed after the poll's conclusion.

Note: The alt-text is too long for Tumblr, so the alt-text for this poll is below the cut.

Edit: The results are up here!

It had begun with Christmas and the gift of dolls. The big, the special, the loving gift was always a big, blue-eyed Baby Doll. From the clucking sounds of adults I knew that the doll represented what they thought was my fondest wish. I was bemused with the thing itself, and the way it looked. What was I supposed to do with it? Pretend I was its mother? I had no interest in babies or the concept of motherhood. I was interested only in humans my own age and size, and could not generate any enthusiasm at the prospect of being a mother. Motherhood was old age, and other remote possibilities. I learned quickly, however, what I was expected to do with the doll: rock it, fabricate storied situations around it, even sleep with it. Picture books were full of little girls sleeping with their dolls. Raggedy Ann dolls usually, but they were out of the question. I was physically revolted by and secretly frightened of those round moronic eyes, the pancake face, and orangeworms hair.

The other dolls, which were supposed to bring me great pleasure, succeeded in doing quite the opposite. When I took it to bed, its hard unyielding limbs resisted my flesh-the tapered fingertips on those dimpled hands scratched. If, in sleep, I turned, the bone-cold head collided with my own. It was a most uncomfortable, patently aggressive sleeping companion. To hold it was no more rewarding. The starched gauze or lace on the cotton dress irritated any embrace. I had only one desire: to dismember it. To see of what it was made, to discover the dearness, to find the beauty, the desirability that had escaped me, but apparently only me. Adults, older girls, shops, magazines, newspapers, window signs—all the world had agreed that a blue-eyed, yellow-haired, pink-skinned doll was what every girl child treasured.

"Here," they said, "this is beautiful, and if you are on this day "worthy' you may have it." I fingered the face, wondering at the single-stroke eyebrows; picked at the pearly teeth stuck like two piano keys between red bowline lips.

Traced the turned-up nose, poked the glassy blue eyeballs, twisted the yellow hair. I could not love it. But I could examine it to see what it was that all the world said was lovable. Break off the tiny fingers, bend the flat feet, loosen the hair, twist the head around, and the thing made one sound—a sound they said was the sweet and plaintive cry "Mama," but which sounded to me like the bleat of a dying lamb, or, more precisely, our icebox door opening on rusty hinges in July. Remove the cold and stupid eyeball, it would bleat still, "Ahhhhhh," take off the head, shake out the sawdust, crack the back against the brass bed rail, it would bleat still. The gauze back would split, and I could see the disk with six holes, the secret of the sound. A mere metal roundness.

Grown people frowned and fussed: "You-don't-know-how-to-take-care-of-nothing. I-never-had-a-baby-doll-in-my-whole-life-and-used-to-cry-my-eyes-out-for-them. Now-you-got-one-a-beautiful-one-and-you-tear-it-up-what's-the-matter-with-you?"

How strong was their outrage. Tears threatened to erase the aloofness of their authority. The emotion of years of unfulfilled longing preened in their voices. I did not know why I destroyed those dolls. But I did know that nobody ever asked me what I wanted for Christmas. Had any adult with the power to fulfill my desires taken me seriously and asked me what I wanted, they would have known that I did not want to have anything to own, or to possess any object. I wanted rather to feel something on Christmas day. The real question would have been, "Dear Claudia, what experience would you like on Christmas?" I could have spoken up, "I want to sit on the low stool in Big Mama's kitchen with my lap full of lilacs and listen to Big Papa play his violin for me alone." The lowness of the stool made for my body, the security and warmth of Big Mama's kitchen, the smell of the lilacs, the sound of the music, and, since it would be good to have all of my senses engaged, the taste of a peach, perhaps, afterward.

Instead I tasted and smelled the acridness of tin plates and cups designed for tea parties that bored me. Instead I looked with loathing on new dresses that required a hateful bath in a galvanized zinc tub before wearing. Slipping around on the zinc, no time to play or soak, for the water chilled too fast, no time to enjoy one's nakedness, only time to make curtains of soapy water careen down between the legs. Then the scratchy towels and the dreadful and humiliating absence of dirt. The irritable, unimaginative cleanliness. Gone the ink marks from legs and face, all my creations and accumulations of the day gone, and replaced by goose pimples.

I destroyed white baby dolls.

But the dismembering of dolls was not the true horror. The truly horrifying thing was the transference of the same impulses to little white girls. The indifference with which I could have axed them was shaken only by my desire to do so. To discover what eluded me: the secret of the magic they weaved on others. What made people look at them and say, "Awwwww," but not for me? The eye slide of black women as they approached them on the street, and the possessive gentleness of their touch as they handled them.

If I pinched them, their eyes—unlike the crazed glint of the baby doll's eyes—would fold in pain, and their cry would not be the sound of an icebox door, but a fascinating cry of pain. When I learned how repulsive this disinterested violence was, that it was repulsive because it was disinterested, my shame floundered about for refuge. The best hiding place was love. Thus the conversion from pristine sadism to fabricated hatred, to fraudulent love. It was a small step to Shirley Temple. I learned much later to worship her, just as I learned to delight in cleanliness, knowing, even as I learned, that the change was adjustment without improvement.

#poll #lit #literature #polls #tumblr poll #tumblr polls #book excerpt #fiction #poll time

16 notes · View notes

circledotdestroy · 7 months ago

Text

Retrospective - Chapter 5: Let’s Rock

Pairing: Shouta Aizawa x F! Pro-Hero! Reader (the slowest burn)Main summary: After 12 years, you, Pro-Hero Strife, has to return to Japan. Your objective: discreetly track down and capture Akari Kaneko, a.k.a. Pro-Hero Aegis— your old classmate who attacked you during her visit in America. In the aftermath of All Might losing his power, however, using UA resources has its complications. The most unexpected complication being Aizawa, someone you never expected to see again. Why does your past have to come back to haunt you now? Masterlist First Chapter Last Chapter Word Count: 3,869 words

A/N: Hey, I'm back. Sorry for the long gap between this chapter and the last. I know I said i was supposed to be post more frequently last time. This chapter was a struggle for me to write because I lost my grandmother to cancer a few weeks ago and that kinda caused a depressive episode. I think I'm better now tho! There's a lot of stuff going on with the anime and manga (I can't believe its ending) so if anyone wants to discuss, i'm here Anyway, thank you for stopping by, and I hope you enjoy the show!

The screeching device rattled from your hand to your skull.

A child-lock. Uh huh. If the past was in the past, what’s this about? You shoved the gym doors wide open letting all the heat escape the room. As you take a step forward, you wince at explosions blasting through the room. You forgot how hero training areas can rival a construction site in terms of noise. A tight grin cracked on your face as you scanned the potential disaster zone.

Where’s Eraserhead?

Around the rocks? You wondered about walking the perimeter. Behind the towers, you tilted your head. Hiding?

Mere seconds and the adrenaline in the room burrows into your nervous system with the heat waves. You did the math from the time he left— from the time he left you were supposed to have at least 20 minutes, but you were caught off at 17. Three minutes can start and end a fight, you thought as you weaved through rocks falling from the sky. Did he really think you’d intentionally waste his time?

A rock the size of a steroid-addled moose hurdled toward you. A loud CRACK traveled through the room—fragments raining around you. Holding your arm out you looked around you. Where the hell did that come from?

“Are you okay?!” You turned your head to the direction of fast, frantic steps toward you. It was the boy in the knight outfit running toward you with smoke coming out of his calves. You glanced at the scratched knuckles of your gloves then gave it a shake to take the remaining dust off.

Turns out there was dust all over your uniform. That’s no way to make a first impression on the boy who was racing to meet you. As you continued brushing yourself off you took a good look at the state of his uniform, also covered in debris, especially the guards on his legs. When he was close enough to speak to you nodded at him. “Kicked that rock pretty far—are you conditioning?”

The boy's eyes widened behind his glass as color drained from his face. He “I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to—”

“Hey, hey, hey,” you interrupted him as his arms went to his side. The boy was confounded by the disruption. “You don’t have to say sorry. I’m not hurt. I conditioned my hands a long time ago. I was a little older than you then, and I’m extremely old now.” You scanned the room swiftly to see if Eraser had decided to investigate the noise, to no avail. “You can go back to your training,” you finished, waving the boy off.

Before you can go back to your mission the student stopped you. “Wait, I’m the class representative, and a student at UA. I should've been a better example…”

“Then do better next time? There’s a lot of people in here, think about that before you kick the big rock somewhere.”

“I see…” The boy’s hand came up to his chin as he pieced together what you said. You couldn't help wondering if your accent somehow got worse between the meeting and now. “All of the students training in the gym together is not only about our ultimate moves, but about our awareness of our environment as well,” he commented, although it was clear he was talking to himself. “I take your advice to heart! Thank you—uh?

“Strife. I’m the Pro-Hero Strife.”

“And I am Iida Tenya.” The boy said bowing before you. “Thank you for your advice, Ms. Pro-Hero Strife.”

You pressed your lips in a tight line looking across the room as the boy continued to bow in gratitude. In all your years, you’ve never quite understood what you were supposed to do in these types of situations. Having someone bow at you was up there with people singing happy birthday or crying, in terms of you not knowing what to do. The best thing you knew to do in either of those situations was move it along as fast as possible.

Luckily it didn’t last for as long as it felt it would. The boy stood upright and gestured toward the device you held. “Ms. Pro-Hero Strife? I don’t mean to be rude but your tablet has been ringing this whole time.”

“Yeah,” you lifted the tablet higher. “I was borrowing this from Eraserhead. The screaming won’t stop until I get it back to him. Have you seen your teacher?” Apparently he was exactly the one to ask, giving you precise instructions on where to find him. Mic should really take up some lessons from this kid.

By the time you spotted Eraser standing by the side entrance, the one that came from outside, your need to roll up and say “What the hell is wrong with you? I thought we were cool—” was gone. Explosions and the sound of bowling balls striking drowned out the sound of the tablet. Getting closer to Eraser your spine heats up like a wire. Your eyes locked onto the girl with pink skin above you on a plateau immediately. You crossed her path like a black cat, giving her a slight wave, but not truely stopping to interact with her. She waved back before nearly getting hit on the head by a Smile Man. Two steps later your spine increased by a few more degrees. Still feeling her eyes you glance back to see she was drawing the pathway between you and her teacher. When you reached your destination, you held out Eraser’s stupid little tablet.

“You’re here.” He took the tablet off your hands and tapped at the screen disabling the alarm. “Did you get the information you needed,” he asked with holding the tablet closer, swiping and tapping at the screen.

A passive aggressive half-thought bubbled in your mind, but floated away just as quick. You weren’t trying to start anything and you were just relieved there was no more high pitched screeching in the menagerie of sound. “For now, yes,” you answered, turning to stand next to him.

The mountain range ahead was truly something else. Three of the mountains had their own light show going on. One of the mountain tops had a laser beam, another had a full solar flare that made the mountain look like a volcano, and the third was capped with flaming ice. From your time in both countries you can confidently say that pretty lights were one of two things that people across the world could get excited about. Think about it, fireworks, lasers, glow-in-the-dark toys, neon lights— who doesn’t like those things? The only downside these things could have is that they’re often paired with loud noises. Like the explosions in the air and bone rattling booms hitting the pavement.

As you watched the lights, Eraser fiddled with his device, reading something you can’t see on the screen. He didn’t look confused at all so he couldn’t have read your notes.

“I spoke to your class president,” you continued, putting your attention on the flaming ice. “Your students are very serious.”

“That’s how it’s supposed to be.”

“All of them, or just Iida?” You grin at the swaying flames in the distance. Eraser lowered his tablet and set his eyes on you. Your spine started to heat up and you didn’t have to mention moose-sized rock or how his student tried to apologize to you. “You shouldn’t get nervous, he was training and he’s supposed to improve… I can see—I think he cares more about training than we did.”

“When did you ever care about anything?”

You chuckled and looked at the flames again, “I cared. Less than you but I still cared.”

“I’m sure you did…”

“Iida should work on his aim for his Ultimate Move. I’m sure we both know a giant flying rock could really hurt someone.” Eraser doesn’t respond. Warm air begins to suffocate you next to him. Out of all the dumb jokes you could’ve made that’s what you chose? Adjusting the guards on your arms you looked off. A few Smile Mans— Smile Men(?), were still with the students you could see. The other man, the Cement Snowman was missing, either having left or camouflaged extremely well. That left the only actual adult you’d rather be with— “Where’s Midnight, anyway?”

“She’s helping a student on the other side of the room,” Eraser stated plainly. The explosions from above shook the room as it did before. Bits and pieces shatter and fall onto the main path connecting the mountains and plateaus together.

“Alright then…” Somehow the steep slants and the narrow trails with falling ruble looked more comfortable then how this conversation felt.

Shifting your weight side to side, the image of stumbling, toppling over the side consumes your thoughts. Yet you still took a step forward. With Midnight on the other side of the gym, and Mic not around at all, you needed to make your own exit. The only practical excuse you could think of was observing the students close and that meant… Looking up toward the looming peaks you gulped. The looming peaks made you gulp.

Another heat wave flushed your skin and buried into your bones. Your skull felt like it was expanding. If you weren’t working then you wouldn’t have been okay with this. Eraser of all people should know damn-well you wouldn’t have, maybe that’s what he was relying on. Here you were though, poised and marched into your work as you always did.

Adrenaline was in the air.

You’ll work with this.

Eraser called out after you before you left his sight. “You're not taking notes?” He held the tablet out toward you, but you put your focus on the path ahead. You declined. He’d probably put another one of those god-awful alarms again. His head turned from where you stood to what was behind.

“Are you sure you can walk okay?”

Your lungs filled with sand. “Why wouldn’t I be?” You smiled as your heart picked up the pace. Did he notice it when you were in the observation room? Or was it the meeting? It’s possible he noticed before than and chose not to say anything before now. The way he tucked the tablet under his arm told you nothing about what could’ve given you away. “The path isn’t smooth. I can ask Cementoss to make a wall if you’re worried about falling.”

“I’m good,” you said, your smile turned tight. So he didn’t notice your injury, he just wanted to use your past fears against you. Go figure. “I’m going now. Bye.” You didn’t give him a chance to respond before you turned and dropped your grin. You sighed and prepared yourself for the journey ahead.

Having to ignore your fears for the sake of a mission was nothing new. You’ve had to climb and jump off objects at great heights to face opponents and beasts alike. Occasionally you had to jump from one rooftop to another when you worked in a main city. The main difference between then and now was you had a goal. If that’s all you needed…. All you had to do was approach every trainee. Get enough information on their quirk to have an idea then move on. That’s easy! You already saw the class rep, who has speed. He has a good amount of power if he was able to kick that boulder at you. When you punched it, it felt like it was about 1200 pounds–good to know…

You walked past a few more students. The boy with super strength, the other boy with the tail, diaper boy… The next student on the roster was a girl with a frog-themed uniform. She worked on camouflage, which could be seen as strange considering she’s wearing bright green. Then again you wore bright red and she hasn’t noticed you. Actually now that you think about it, the last three didn’t either…

Well that’s awful!

Grabbing an outlying curve in the wall beside you broke off a chunk. Staring at the back of the girl's head, you counted to ten, but she hadn’t sensed your presence. You squeezed the chunk with both hands until it crumbled to bits. Twenty seconds and the girl still hasn't seen you. You picked a pebble to place between your fingers. Pointed, aimed, then fired toward the wall behind her. She leapt out of the way as a projectile pebble flew past her.

You hummed. The lack of awareness was concerning, for her and the other students you walked past. However, her reflexes are good for a first year. Shrugging you continued your hike ready to find your next target.

Flicking pebbles toward students yielded some interesting results. Out of the ten you launched pebbles toward, eight students with the first girl included, had excellent reaction times. Then of those eight, three students– a tall boy with extra arms, a girl who created a giant iron bar, and the girl with pink skin, who shrieked and melted the pebble on instinct–spotted you after stones were thrown. Of course you apologized and said they could ignore you.

What you weren’t prepared for was student eleven. Unlike the first ten, he stood by a giant generator. The coat of paint was the same green of the robots used for challenges and tests when you were a student. When you entered his vicinity, he faced the path and waved enthusiastically. “Oh, hey!” It caught you off guard. You tried to subtly put the pebbles into your pocket as you met him halfway. The pebbles scattered across his platform when you felt your work phone. The boy, one of the little rockstars from earlier, buffered as he saw them roll away. “So that’s what you were doing— I was wondering when you were gonna get to me! You’re a Pro, right? I’ve never seen you before, where are you from?”

You thought of how to answer the question, but was interrupted by someone below you. “Kaminari! Is that mystery woman up there with you? Who is she?”

“I don’t know! She was about to tell me before you had to interrupt!”

“Well, excuse me for— AAHH!” The girl shrieked. You jumped to the edge of the platform with grit teeth leaving the boy behind you. “Aizawa-sensei!” The girl became pastel at the sight of her teacher drawing closer.

“Do you have an ultimate move ready, Ashido?”

The girl slumped, “no… But who is SHE,” the girl pointed up at you. Standing upright again, you waved at the two beneath you. When you stopped waving, you used that hand to brush on top of the itching wound and dug your nails in. Eraser kept his eyes on you and you tilted your head back at him.

The boy, Kaminari, stepped closer to the ledge. “Yeah, she just showed up unannounced in the hallway. We’ve been dying to know!”

Eraser’s hair raised toward his student, but the energy flowing through you stopped leaving you cold. You forced your weight to bended knees. “Does it make a difference to your training?” Dizziness struck you at the distance between where you and they stood. Your side was burning hot, probably because of your little hike. Stepping away, you’ll look suspicious; but if you did nothing you could topple over. You swallowed. How were you supposed to make him stop? Kaminari was downtrodden— he and Ashido didn’t get there answer

“Good morning, I’m Pro-Hero Strife,” you said as kind as you could muster despite yourself. After a split-second of confusion, the students brightened up. “I’m here to help you with your license exams.” You looked toward Ashido who beamed with energy as Eraser’s hair fell back in place. “I’m sorry I didn’t say my name earlier. We wanted you to focus on Ultimate Moves.” As you explain, the warmth of your energy creeped back into your spine. You took your focus off the girl to say a half-hearted apology to Eraser, a simple “my bad, I won’t distract your students again. I mean it— forever, for life.” Now came the exit strategy: “You will know more about me later with everyone in your class okay? Focus on training for now, cool? Cool. ” you and the girl waved goodbye at one another as you stepped away with a sigh.

“I know— Aizawa is scary sometimes,” said Kaminari.

You chuckle at the statement. “Really? And he lets you call him ‘Aizawa’, casually? My old teacher would’ve made you run laps around campus.”

“Wait, you went here?”

“Yeah, fifteen years ago– I’m like really old.” You nodded.

Kaminari hummed, “doesn’t that make you the same age as Aizawa?”

“Are you ready for that exam now,” you asked. You didn’t feel like giving a history lesson on your personal life at the moment. The flare in your back spiked as the trainee’s curiosity dropped into horror. “No? Alright, then I guess it’s time for me to go,” you held your hand out to the boy catching him off guard. “Right, we don’t usually shake hands with—”

Kaminari shook your hand enthusiastically, “it was cool meeting you!”

After shaking hands, you went back to scaling the mountain. If how you felt earlier told you anything, time was ticking. You needed to hurry before you made your condition worse. Patting at the phone at your side, you thought of whether you should call the medic. When you’re alone you’ll make the decision. You could only call when you were in your hotel room. If anything, after training you can find a way to leave if it gets to that point.

After Kaminari, you passed by three other students— the boy with red hair punching away at the wall, the other rockstar who made smaller rocks explode, and the boy with the burn scar who was responsible for the flaming ice. You didn’t bother launching pebbles at them. Moving things along, three more students were left at the top. Two of them, a boy and a girl, were in the sky–you don’t know how to work with that, the other one you couldn’t see was shooting something from the platform above you. You squinted at the shiny line in the distance, as you approached closer. Was this plastic—

The ground slid beneath you, then it was gone. You fell parallel to the plastic piling on the floor. The length was the same as a three story house. You attempted to grab the knife at your side, you moved the phone in your pocket, but grasped at nothing.

That’s right… Campus visitors couldn’t bring weapons into school; and you didn't even sign the official papers yet. Falling down, your body twisted until you faced the wall. Generating as much force as you could, you jabbed at the rock.

Fireworks burst your eardrum when your right hand pierced a hole in the wall. A tight coil squeezed around at your side. Thundering explosions rattled your skull, split your brain down the middle.

“What were you doing falling like that for!” A rough voice boomed over the explosion. Two more sounded off before you were slumped on the ground breathless. When you opened your eyes a masked boy with gigantic grenade-style gauntlets and an orange X across his black tank top blurred across your vision. “Aren’t pros supposed to watch where they’re going?”

“Wow. One interesting way to speak to a person you saved—” you commented, pushing yourself up to stand. The shattered remains of your work-phone scattered across the top of the plateau caught your eye. “And my phone’s broken now too…” you finished, looking onward wistfully.

“You flung yourself off the tower on purpose,” the trainee asked, irritated and baffled at your vacant diatribe.

Behind you Eraser rushed toward you, and that girl who was in the air floated down. “What do you think will happen when it’s your turn to take the exam?”

“Hey, are you alright?” The girl asked when she was shot in earshot. She touched her fingertips together in a diamond shape– it must be how she activates her quirk. You raised your gloved hand, the one you put through stone, to show off to her. The material had damage, but it was minimal. Just a few scratches. Eraser was getting closer too, anything you’d say he’d hear.

“I put my hand through the rock a little hard. Your classmate caught me and he did good. Thank you for—”

“Just GOOD?”

“Bakugo,” Eraser called out, the blond student snapped his head up bearing his teeth like that security guard at the entrance. “That’s not how you speak to guests, or people who are helping you with the exam.”

“You made a choice and you acted fast,” you explained. “Your catch was done well, you didn’t hurt me more. If technique was the only thing judges grade on, you would be great.” The boy muttered before walking off. Eraser’s hand clutched at the binding cloth bunched at his neck.

You raised yours distracting him from grabbing the kid to tell him to respect his elders, you shook your head at the man. He lowered his hand on his weapon, thankfully. God-forbid makes the kid bow to apologize to you. Walking away you went to inspect the remnants of your phone, so much for calling the medic later.

“Well…” Eraser opened disturbing the silence in the hallway. After all the improvised excitement happened you were called in by the PA system to Nezu’s office. You signed some papers, got your badge made, and then he wanted to get your opinions on the students you watched today. Eraser entered the room when the conversation was almost finished. When the meeting with Nezu was over, you decided to excuse yourself for the day. Eraser being the gentleman that he is, offered to show you out the gate. The moment he approached the office doors, you could feel he was worked up by something. “What did you think?”

“One day in the country and my phone broke,” Eraser didn’t appreciate the joke though. You didn’t think he’d get worried about your evaluation today. “Don’t stress, your students are fine.” You thought about bringing up how most of them didn’t notice how you walked by them and even had pebbles thrown at them, but you figured you’d save that for another time.

“I’d say they’re better than fine considering one of them caught you… what was that anyway? I can’t see the logic behind you falling on purpose.”

“That one student knew why in seconds— you shouldn’t think too much about what happened.”

“So you grew out of your fear of heights then?”

You thought about a moment from when you were younger. A time where you would complete these types of assignments. You held your head high, confident as a lion in front of your classmates; but when classes were over and it was time to tutor Aizawa on some moves, you’d joke about how freaked you were. At one point, you told Shouta all the times you thought you were going to fall before practicing his takedowns. “We grow up eventually, don’t we? I’m not a child anymore, Eraser.”

Taglist:

@lonelyghosts-stuff

#mha x reader #bnha x reader #aizawa x reader #shouta aizawa x reader #mha x female reader #aizawa shouta x reader #aizawa x you #aizawa x y/n #retrospective by dot

16 notes · View notes

akariarda · 6 months ago

Text

Will you ever stop breaking my heart ,all over and over again...

(LAST)EPISODE 13

ep12 Garmadon is recovering and everything seems fine, but they have one more problem to solve ..

Look at the end of the work for the author's notes

"Where am I?" Sensei Garmadon asked when he opened his eyes.

The room was airy and dark... and smelled like a pharmacy. It seemed familiar.

"In the monastery of Spinjitzu," Misako said from somewhere he couldn't see. "Wu brought you here."

"Wu?" Sensei Garmadon asked happily. "He's alive..."

"I'll tell you about it later," Misako laughed and ran her hand through his hair. "But first, how are you feeling?"

Sensei Garmadon thought for a moment before saying, "I'm okay... just bruised."

"I know," Misako smiled at him.

'Sh's still so beautiful ,' Sensei Garmadon thought to himself.

"..but you'll heal in a week. It's a miracle you survived."

"And then?" Sensei Garmadon interrupted.

"What do you mean 'and then'?" Misako looked at him confused. "Everything can go back to how it was before."

When Sensei Garmadon heard that, he made a sour face.

"What's wrong?" Misako gently asked, kneeling beside his bed.

"Don't you want me to leave?"Sensei Garmadon quietly asked.

"Of course not," Misako moved his hair aside to kiss him on the forehead. "We love you."

'Here we go again,' Misako thought to herself. They had many similar conversations when Garmadon first became Sensei.

She had a feeling this time would be even worse.

"Even after everything?" Sensei Garmadon sadly asked, gently touching the bruises on her arm that were visible due to rolled-up sleeves.

He didn't want to think about all the harm he had done to her, Lloyd, Wu, the ninja, and others.

"I've hurt all of you so many times," Sensei Garmadon whispered.

"But you wasn't who you are now." Misako desperately tried to convince him.

She wanted to convince him so badly .

"If you say so," Sensei Garmadon forced a smile. Misako frowned but didn't want to dwell on it. Not now.

"Just know that we love you, and I have already forgiven you," Misako said, smiling warmly after such a day.

"I'm sure the others will too soon if they haven't already."

'Not everyone is like you, my Misako... that's why even Lloyd looks up to you.' He first thought, then added,

'With what I deserved them all, with what I deserved love..'

"Garmadon?" Misako called him back from his thoughts.

"Yes?" Sensei Garmadon looked at her curiously. She seemed... thoughtful.

"You mentioned someone coming. Someone who will destroy Ninjago,"

Sensei Garmadon's face paled. It was so important, that's why he agreed to live again...

"Did I upset you...?" Misako asked carefully.

"Misako," Garmadon said, shocked, squeezing her hand.

"It's so important, so dangerous. And I can't remember. It's like they erased that part of my memory when I turned good again... I'm sorry, Misako," Sensei Garmadon sadly said, closing his eyes. He just wanted...

~~~~~~

"How was the celebration ?" Sensei Garmadon asked Lloyd when he came back.

"Fine..." Lloyd awkwardly smiled and scratched his head.

It wasn't fine. He was thinking about what awaits them in the future. Since his dad couldn't remember, probably no one knew.

"I see you're already up," Lloyd tried to keep a cheerful spirit.

"Yes..." Sensei Garmadon smiled tiredly. "I have to..."

"Have you remembered anything, brother?" Master Wu asked as he entered the room, followed by stern Kai and Misako.

"No..." Sensei Garmadon sighed and disappointedly put the book down. "It's like that part of my memory has just disappeared."

"It will be okay, brother," Wu put his hand on Sensei Garmadon's shoulder.

"No offense," Kai started. It didn't seem like he wasn't going to offend.

"If we can even believe Garmadon," Lloyd sharply looked at him."Referring to the evil Garmadon,"Kai corrected himself.

"That's what I was wondering as well," Lloyd shrugged. "Father swears..."

"So true, Lloyd," Sensei Garmadon sighed tiredly. "The danger is real and big, believe it or not."

With those words, he gave Kai a sharp look.

He knew he had every right to be angry, but Sensei Garmadon didn't like it when people opposed him, especially when something this important was involved.

"It would be best to rest now," Misako put her hand on his forearm. "You shouldn't have gotten out of bed yet.

"We'll continue looking elsewhere." Master Wu understood it as a sign and motioned for Kai to follow him.

"Just rest, brother," it was nice to hear thar word."Don't worry," Misako said, smiling. "Everything will be fine. We've overcome many evils before, and we can do it from now on too."

"Everything will be fine, and you won't leave us again," Lloyd added to his mother's words.

"But Kai is right." Sensei Garmadon lowered his head. "You shouldn't believe me..."

"How many times have we told you that we do not see you as the same person when you are evil ,"

Misako asked and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"We don't blame you for what you did when you weren't in control." Lloyd added.

'Maybe it's not all bad...' Sensei Garmadon smiled to himself. They will defeat whatever danger is coming.

They still need to work on their relationships a bit, but they're doing well. And Lloyd, Misako, and Wu, as well as most of the ninja, seemed happy that he was there.

Misako, Lloyd, and Wu especially seemed happy.

"Rest, Dad," Lloyd waved to his parents. "I'll go help Master Wu and Kai."

"Misako?" Sensei Garmadon asked after Lloyd left. Misako nodded slightly as a sign of listening to him.

"Can I go to your room with you? I don't want to be alone again..." Sensei Garmadon awkwardly said.

He missed her so much, even though she stayed up at night checking on him.

He missed having her always by his side.

"Of course..." Misako said after a moment of thought. "Are you sure I won't bother you while you're recovering?"

"one hundred percent sure," Sensei Garmadon was thrilled.

~~~~~~

"Here, are these all your things?" Misako asked Sensei Garmadon.

"Yes, I couldn't bring them from Cursed realm," he said."

"I have some of your things; I just need to wash them," Misako thought.

"You kept all my things all this time?" Garmadon was surprised.

And happy, although a little sad. She probably missed him all this time...

"Can I ask you something?" He asked playfully after she finished folding the few clothes they found.

"Of course," Misako said, entertained.

"Do you mind if I kiss you?"

"Not really," Misako playfully replied.

Sensei Garmadon felt her hand resting on his forearm.

He gently grabbed her chin to lean down and kiss her. He had missed it so much...

Her warm breath and sweet lips...

"You know," Sensei Garmadon whispered in her ear. "I've wanted to do this for so long."

"I know," Misako smiled at him. "I love you."

"I love you too," Sensei Garmadon smiled brightly at her. "But, I don't deserve..."

Misako closed the door and kissed him again to quiet him. Hopefully, everything will be okay.

'And it will be,' she thought while wrapping her arms around his neck.

'Just let Garmadon remember soon...' She decided not to think about it now.

It was best to just enjoy the moments.

"I really love you," Garmadon repeated while kissing her neck.

Everything will be fine.

It has to.

NOTES

I planned to finish this work with Lloyd as well, but it still started with Gadrmadon and Misako, let it end like that.

Thank you if you read this and don't forget to leave a comment and say what you think (information about the sequel is coming soon)

#ninjago #lord garmadon #sensei garmadon #misako montgomery garmadon #lloyd montgomery garmadon #The ninja team #Master Wu #kai smith #Garmafam #Garmasako #Garsako

10 notes · View notes

dialovers-translations · 1 year ago

Text

Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN ー Kino Ecstasy [Epilogue]

ー The scene starts with the night sky

Yuuri: ...Fufu. What’s the matter, Kino...?

You’ve been running away the whole time...That’s nothing like you.

Why not use those powers you’re so pride of, huhーー!?

*Woosh*

Kino: ...Fufu. You fool...If I were to do that, I could send you flying the blink of an eye.

That wouldn’t be fun now, would it?

Yuuri: ...! Haah!

*Woosh*

*TIMESKIP*

*Woosh*

Kino: ...Kuh.

Yuuri: ...For someone as great as you, you seem to be struggling quite a bit against a ‘mere Ghoul’?

Why not get serious already?

Kino: ...I don’t want to. I hate it when people tell me what to do.

Yui: ...

( He isn’t just not using his powers. It’s that he can’t use them. )

( Because he knows that Yuuri-san will die if he does. )

( I’m sure that Kino-kun doesn’t want for that to happen. That’s why... )

Yuuri: ...I see. You leave me no other choice then. ーー !

*Woosh*

*Stab*

Kino: Kuh...!

ー Kino falls to his knees

*Thud*

Yui: Kino-kun!!

Yuuri: ...Fufu. You let your guard down, Kino...

Kino: ...Heh. Don’t get ahead of yourself because you managed to get a small scratch on me...?

Yuuri: This wouldn’t have happened if you had just used your powers right away.

You’ve always been like that...At the very end...You just can’t help but let the kind heart inside of you show.

That’s why...!

*Woosh*

Kino: Ugh...

Yui: Stopーー!!

Monologue

Yuuri lowered the blade in his hand towards me,

as I sat there knelt down in front of him.

I close my eyes.

For some reason, at that moment,

I suddenly remembered the day,

when I was taken to Yuuri’s home as a child.

I was so terribly afraid of everything and everyone...

but it was Yuuri,

who reached out his hand to me,

as I sat there shivering in the corner of the room.

Even though back then,

his hand was much smaller,

and way less reassuring than it is now.

But back then,

it was most definitely the hand which saved me.

In the end,

I don’t think I have the heart to kill Yuuri.

In which case...

...Even though I thought that way,

in the end, Yuuri’s blade never came down.

After allーー

*Cling*

Yuuri: ...

What do you think you’re doing...?

Kino: ( ...What? )

Richter?: I am sorry, but I am afraid your little game ends here. This man shall come with us, alive.

Yuuri: ...Excuse me? That’s not what you promised...!

Richter?: The bishop’s words are law. Those who stand in our way...ーー shall be erased.

*Woosh*

Yuuri: ...! Uwaaaahーー!!

Kino: ...!

Male Ghoul A: Yuuri!

Male Ghoul B: That was a low move...! How could you!

Richter?: You pesky Ghouls...Know your place.

*Woosh*

Male Ghoul A: !

Male Ghoul B: Uwaaaah!

Richter?: Can somebody else get Ayato from the dungeon? Also get rid of all remaining Ghouls.

I shall take care of Kino.

Male Clergyman A: Roger.

ー The men run off

Richter?: ...

ー Kino walks up to Yuuri

Kino: ...Yuuri?

Yuuri: ...

Kino: Hey, Yuuri. Talk to me...

Yuuri: ...

Kino: ...I thought you were going to kill me? You were talking big about it! How it’s your duty and all...

Answer me!

Yuuri: ...

Kino: ...Why...?

*Thud*

Richter: ...Well then, Kino. You shall be coming with me.

Kino: Yuuri...ーー!!

Monologue

Yuuri-san is dead.

Richter-san is the one who killed him.

ーー No, scratch that.

It’s that guy who we met in the Demon World before.

Someone who looks just like Richter-san, but is an entirely different person.

The large group accompanying him,

are the same people from before,

which I can only assume are associated with the Church.

At the hands of those men,

the remaining Ghouls dropped like flies.

I was unable to do anything,

simply witnessing the scene dumbfounded.

After a while,

once things had gone quiet once again,

I realized that Kino-kun,

was nowhere to be seen.

Yui: ( No way...Where is Kino-kun...? )

( I have to go after him...But what should I do...? )

Kou: Ah! M-neko-chan, found you~!

Yui: ...!

ー Kou and Laito run up to her

Kou: Fufu. Sorry for the delay! We’re here to come pick you up~

Yui: Kou-kun...Everyone...

Laito: Honestly, knowing that you are safe at the very least is what matters most~

Yui: ...But Kino-kun was taken away...

Shuu: Kino...? They took him with them as well and not just Ayato?

Yui: Exactly...I have to go after them right away, or I’m sure it won’t end well...

Kou: I’m pretty sure those guys are the same ones who hurt Ruki-kun before. In other words...

Shuu: ...The Church, huh...?

Yui: ...

I don’t know why, but it seems like the Church has been trying to get their hands on Ayato-kun for a while...

I have a bad feeling about it. Kino-kun might be in trouble as well...

Laito: Nfu~ Geez, Bitch-chan. Kino-kun this, Kino-kun that. Seems like you have quite the soft spot for that guy...

Yui: Eh!?

Laito: I love that slutty side of yours but...I’m pretty sure Ayato-kun will be disappointed in you.

Yui: ...That’s not true. Ayato-kun is long aware.

Laito: Eeh!? Hold on, time out~! What do you mean by that!? What on earth happened!?

Shuu: Haah...Shut up. Who cares about that. Right now we have to focus on Ayato instead.

Anyway, now that Ayato is in their hands, we have to act as well.

I don’t want this whole situation to get even more sticky.

Laito: In other words, we’ll go pick a fight with the Church?

Shuu: Yeah, that’s what it boils down to...

Kou: In that case, let’s go kick their butt real quick~!

Laito: In that case, I’ll be in charge of bringing Bitch-chan to safety. Well then, shall we go?

Yui: W-Wait...! Can’t I come along as well...?

Shuu: You’ll go to the Church...?

Yui: I realize that I might only get in the way...but I’m worried about the two of them...

Shuu: ...

...Do as you please?

Laito: ...Shuu!?

Yui: ...! Thanks, Shuu-san!

Shuu: ...However, prepare yourself.

Yui: Eh...?

( What does he mean by that...? )

Shuu: Haah...Let’s go.

Kou: Roger~! Come on, off we go, M-neko-chan!

Yui: Y-Yeah...!

ー The scene shifts to the dungeon at the Church

*Cling*

Male Clergyman A: Come on, get in.

*Rustle*

Kino: ...!

*Thud*

Kino: ...Ow...

*Rattle*

Monologue

After being taken away from the scene,

I was thrown into the Church’ dungeon,

together with Ayato.

The cell had been induced,

with an anti-magic seal,

which those guys happen to be such experts at,

so my powers were completely blocked.

However,

I no longer gave a damn.

I couldn’t even bring myself,

to put those guys from the Church through hell,

in an attempt to avenge Yuuri’s death.

I mean, even if I were to do that,

Yuuri won’t come back to life.

It’d only make me feel even more empty inside.

Revenge is pointless.

That’s what Yui told me before.

However...

I didn’t think,

this would be how I finally,

come to realize the truth in those words.

Kino: ...

( It’s my fault. I should have never gotten involved with the Church... )

( ...But I guess it’s too late for regrets now... )

*Rustle rustle*

Kino: ( ...It’s too late. For everything... )

Ugh...

Ayato: ...Oi, Kino. Are you awake?

Kino: ...I am. You really think I can sleep on this hard of a bed?

Ayato: Hah. What’s that? I thought you were feelin’ down but you seem to be doin’ just fine.

Kino: ...Not really. I’m not feeling down or anything.

Ayato: Say. What do you think the Church will do with us?

Kino: Good question. Beats me. They’ll probably execute us to show off their own power?

I mean, I don’t care about what they’ll do.

Ayato: Haah? You don’t care...? It’s your problem as well though, isn’t it!?

Kino: ...

Ayato: Che, cat got your tongue, huh? God, my big bro really doesn’t know what he wants, huh?

Kino: ...Eh?

( Did he just...refer to me as his big bro...? )

Ayato: Ah? I’m not wrong, am I? I mean, you’re the one who introduced yourself as such.

Kino: ...I did, but...

Ayato: I mean, I did think it smelt fishy at first. For that shitty Old Man to have a secret lovechild...

But you know, I don’t know why, but right now, I’m pretty sure that you’re speaking the truth.

I mean, you’re just like my other brothers. Like how you’re a huge pain in the ass.

Kino: ...Excuse me...?

( Brothers... )

( Exactly. This guy, as well as the other Sakamaki’s, we all share the same blood... )

( We’re all sons of Karlheinz... )

ー Somebody approaches the cell

Ayato: ...! Richter...!?

Richter?: Kino. The Bishop is waiting. You shall be coming with me.

*Clatter*

Richter?: ...Come here.

Kino: ...What if I say no?

Richter?: The Bishop’s word is law. ーー Come.

*Thud*

Kino: Guh...!

Ayato: ...! Lay it off!

Richter?: ...Ayato. You shall stay there and behave.

That is what the Bishop wants...

Kino: ...That hurts! Let me go!

ー Kino is taken away

Ayato: ...The fuck was that just now...?

That guy...isn’t Richter...

ー The scene shifts to the Church

*Creaaak*

Kino: For the millionth time, let me go!

Richter: ...

*Thud*

Kino: Uwah...!

ー Kino drops to the floor

???: Fufu, so you are here...

Richter?: My sincere apologies for the wait, Bishop...

Kino: ...You’re the Bishop...?

Bishop: Yes, exactly. Well then, Kino. Let us get started right away.

Kino: Start what... ーー !?

Male Clergyman A: Hold him down!

Male Clergyman B: We’ll hang him from that cross!

After being crucified,

I was surrounded by a strange group of men clad in white.

Judging from their appearance which reminded me of scientists,

I could only assume,

that they were not actually part of the Church

Kino: What’s going on here, huh?

Bishop: Fufu. We would like to show a certain technique we have developed to you...

Kino: Haah? Excuse me?

Do you guys have to do that sort of stuff now as well? What happened to worshipping God, huh?

Bishop: Oh, not at all. It’s just that we realized...

Why is it that we had no other choice but to submit to Demons? Because we do not have any magic ourselves, that is...

Even with modern science at our disposal, it was difficult to create magic.

After many experiments, the most we could do was seal away someone else’s powers...

Kino: Heh, well duh...Magic isn’t something which can be ‘crafted’.

Bishop: Exactly. You are absolutely right.

That’s why we decided to take a different route.

Kino: A different route...?

( What does he mean by that...? )

Bishop: If we cannot create magic.

Why not make those with magic submit to us and have them use their powers for our own benefit?

In other words...All we need is create Demons who will act as our loyal servants. Take Richter over there, for example.

Kino: ...!

Richter: ...

Kino: ( Then, this guy is actually Richter...who should have died back then...? )

...So that’s why you went to retrieve his corpse, huh...?

Bishop: Aah, yes. We revived him using the power of modern science. As our watchdog...

The era in which us humans get to take revenge on Demons has come at last...

But to achieve that, we need a couple of more slaves...

Kino...Ones which have strong powers like you, do you understand...?

Kino: ...!

( These guys...So that’s why they...! )

Male Clergyman A: ...Bishop, excuse us. The Vampires in question are standing in front of the Church...

Kino: ...Vampires...?

Bishop: ...Excuse me? Fufu...I see.

If they want to willingly sacrifice themselves, fine by me. Let them in.

Male Clergyman A: Roger!

Bishop: Seems like your brothers and Vampire comrades have come to visit us.

I can only assume that the ‘Chosen Eve’ is with them as well.

Kino: ...!

( Yui... )

Monologue

Standing in front of the open door,

I instinctively came to a halt.

Surrounded by a bunch of men dressed in white,

Kino-kun seemed to have been attached,

to some kind of weird cross statue.

Furthermore,

standing right next to him...was a man,

I did not expect to see in the slightest.

Kino: ...! Why did you come here!?

Yui: Kino-kun...

( What on earth...is going on...? )

Shuu: Hah...You freak...

Bishop: Fufu, run your mouth all you want...

Yui: ( ...I’m sure of it...That man is... )

Male Clergyman B: Bishop, everything is ready.

Bishop: ...I see. I suppose this is a good opportunity for you guys to witness the show.

Of how Kino is turned into our loyal dog...through this wonderful technique created by us humans...

Monologue

That man who goes by the title of Bishop,

is Komori Seiji.

ーー My Father, who had supposedly gone missing.

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #kino #lost eden #diabolik lovers translation #lekinoecstasyepilog

34 notes · View notes

tj-crochets · 2 years ago

Note

oh my goodness thank you for answering that so quickly wow! that’s exactly i was looking for honestly, i go to fabric stores all the time and i’ve worked with different fabrics for embroidery projects and the like so i feel pretty good when it comes to fabric it’s the patterns and just where to begin that was stumping me. i know this is super ambitious but i was looking to do the character momoo from one piece. he’s in like 4 episodes and never shows up again but i love him so much and i need a small version of him to hold gentle like burger. obviously trying to make him from scratch would be super ambitious which is why i was looking for basics to work up my confidence, understanding, and skill. the resource you’ve provided seem like an excellent place to start, i’m going to look at it a little closer in the morning when i’m not so sleepy but this is already making me super exciting to start learning a new skill! thank you so much again!!!!

You're so welcome! Sewdesune's free patterns and tutorials are so great, and I am always happy to share them with people (honestly her paid patterns are also great, but I learned to sew from her free patterns so I'm a bit biased lol) I had to look up momoo but from what I'm seeing, there are four patterns I'd use as the starting point to making a momoo pattern, and luckily enough all four are free! And all four are sewdesune patterns, which is a big plus for anyone new to sewing - For the head, I'd use her free cow pattern, and just size it up or down to match the rest of the pattern (I did that when I used the cow head for the baby minotaur, and there's a great tutorial on how to scale patterns up or down here) - For the body, I'd take a look at the other three patterns and decide how stylized I want the end product to be. On the simpler end of the scale, there are the narwhal and seal patterns. If you leave off the face applique (and narwhal horn) and sew a cow head (that's been sized to fit) it's a pretty decent simplified pattern for momoo. On the slightly more complex end of the scale, there's the free koi fish pattern. I'd do a similar "leave off the appliques and add a cow head" method, maybe grab the flippers from the seal pattern, and topstitch the flippers and the tail fins for those ridges. I'd probably also lengthen the dorsal fin pattern and do some topstitching there as well Oh one more note for you and anyone else getting into sewing plushies: air soluble fabric markers are great. You can trace pattern pieces onto fabric, you don't have to worry about pinning the patterns in place and the pinning distorting the stretchy fabric, and if you have tricky seams to sew you can draw the seam on the fabric before you sew it so you can follow it easier. And they are air soluble, so you don't have to try to erase it or worry about it showing through! The only downside I've found is that they seem to only come in purple, which is not visible against dark fabrics. For dark fabrics I use silver sharpies. Have fun sewing, and let me know if you have any more questions! I'm happy to help. Also, more generally, if anyone would want a momoo plushie next time I do a fundraising raffle let me know, because I am extremely tempted to make one

#ask away!#long post #I don't think this is overly ambitious as a first project nonny #well. my first plushie was a cube #but my second was a llama #made with faux sherpa and minky #so like...if it interests you and makes you want to sew #go for it! have fun!#you absolutely do not have to use the patterns I suggested but I do think the koi and cow patterns would work well together to make momoo #I have both a full-size cow plushie head (on a cow plushie) and a 90% scale cow plushie head (on baby minotaur) at the moment #if you want any measurements of the finished cow heads to help determine what scale you'd need the head to be to match the body pattern #or how much to scale the body up to match the head #scaling the body up might honestly be easier?#depends how big you want the finished product to be

9 notes · View notes

bad12amcomic · 1 year ago

Note

Hello hello hello hello!!

I have been obsessed with all of your comics and,, perhaps if you would like,, I would love to know what goes through your head when you make these? What are details you're really excited about that maybe you're worried the viewers will miss? What was your favorite part of the sleeping in the flowers comic?

Or just talk abt whatever!! I just want to hear your thoughts :D

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 SOBS YOURE SO SWEET???? honestly the only reason why I took so long to answer this was mainly because I just wanted to keep your ask in my inbox like a creep and that I had tried to answer this 3 separate times but Tumblr threw a hissyfit

Uh I guess since you’re indulging me I will indulge you… I tend to prioritize the visual aspect of the comic a LOT more than anything else, (I was super happy when people complimented me on my paneling hehe) so I will go through a rough draft of figuring where I want the camera to go and then go “no that’s stupid”, erase it, start over again until my brain and eyes agree that yeah that comprehensible (one of the flower comic pages took me 5 tries to get right each time from scratch lololol). (This is also the section where I am screaming the most because I hate lineart and anything I line looks murky and unclear so I grapple my friends to ask them to validate me)

And then the colors, and this is where I try working out my symbolism muscles and show off because so far this has been a lot of the characters sitting around and talking which isn’t bad but this probably could’ve been a fic if I was a writer. For the flower comic it was basically green and red which are complimentary colors obviously [Green is obviously Scar’s color but they’re literally at his base where everything was hand built and tended to by him and Grian who is red like his feelings would’ve stood out is he wasn’t playing it cool and camouflaged behind his really big green hat and the hat provides shelter from the sun depriving his sweater feelings flowers from being fed because turns out scars color is also yellow because yellow and blue make green and the few times that grian does look at scar is enough to saturate grow feed the feelings flowers sweater and they are almost allowed to be in bloom but Grian is a trooper emotionally repressed but a trooper and he is hiding from the yellow but sir cannot ignore such a tempting request to stay from his complimentary and did anyone notice scars speech bubbles shedding light on his sweater when he asks I blame Crow and Eirian for enabling me on that that was so gay anyways BOOM BOOM BOOM look the all encompassing green finally fulfills its role as the backdrop as all of the colors feelings thoughts come into view wow look the yellow comes in too because while grian has been looking at the yellow scar has been facing away from it]

I guess if I was worried about anything the viewers were going to miss (I was excited that people liked the texturing, flowers in general the greater structure of the comic) was that they were going to miss the subtext that even though Scar looked like he knew what was going on and was trying to tease Grian he was very much in the dark. (I was kinda proud of the frame after the panel where Scar’s smile falters) Looking back, I probably didn’t pull it off anyways but at the time of posting I thought if there was a viewer who hasn’t read the fic the comic was based on it would suck if they didn’t catch that.

So uh yeah (jazz hands) a lot of run on sentences. I usually add a drawing to an ask so uh have this doodle I did when I actually had an intervention with a couple of friends in the server I was streaming drawing the big flower panel at 2 AM. (70% of the flowers in that panel were hand drawn :D)

#boarding now

4 notes · View notes

shadowmaat · 2 years ago

Text

That's not how it works

I read Backpacking Through Bedlam recently and there was a scene involving another character that had me going ???. Clearly something big had happened in Calculated Risks, which I hadn't read yet, so I decided to remedy that immediately.

I am... bemused? Bothered? Disconcerted by events at the end of Risks and I feel the need to vent about it a bit, so there will be spoilers beyond this point. If the author is reading this: I don't think I'm saying anything you shouldn't read (like plot ideas) and I'm not requesting any answers or explanations, I'm just trying to sort it out for myself.

OK. So. Near the end of Risks Sarah is doing Complicated Math to try and get everyone back to their home dimension but is running out of space to do it. There's a very good chance she'll have to delete most of herself to make it happen and that still might not work since she needs to be herself to complete the equation.

While she's locked in this struggle and unaware of her surroundings, Artie comes up and, for reasons unknown, touches her arm. This has the effect of blasting the leftover bits of the equation into his head so Sarah can finish what she's doing and get them all home.

When she wakes up she finds out that Artie is comatose and basically brain dead. Her own analogy compares it to a reformatted hard drive: it's blank and awaiting input.

I can see how this is horrifically traumatic and that she'd feel responsible for it even if it wasn't her intent and she didn't actively do anything. I can also understand how heartbreaking it'd be to realize the love of your life is gone and that the rest of your/his family is going to suffer for it as well. What she chooses to do next is morally ambiguous at best and leaning more towards an obscene act of selfishness and hubris.

Early in the book we learn that Sarah accidentally erased herself from the memories of the people she brought with her. It wasn't intentional and the logic was a bit dubious, but it was still understandable from a self-sacrificing idiot POV.

Deciding to rewrite Artie from scratch was none of those things.

For a character who does a lot of hand-wringing over "consent" and making sure she doesn't hurt anyone she sure was willing to do what she wanted without telling any of the gathered family what Artie's condition was or what she planned to do about it.

Look, I can accept a whole lot of weirdness from the Cryptidverse. The author does a fantastic job of weaving the incredulous into the ordinary and making it all work. I love the series. I have no problem accepting wild leaps the plot sometimes takes. But this? It goes too far for me.

Taking a "blank" brain and filling it full of a chaos of memories from a wide variety of other people (and the mice) is nowhere near the same thing as recreating a person on their own. The resulting personality would be a mess as everyone has their own interpretation of who someone is and none of that is a match to who the person actually is. Even with psychics in the mix that isn't going to help.

The fact that Artie woke up and was remotely coherent is a testament to the Power of Narrative, I guess. The book ended there so we didn't get to see the immediate aftermath (though that could come in a later book). We do get some hints from Bedlam that things may not be perfectly meshed as Artie apparently has increasing episodes of going blank and distant, but even that doesn't have a lot of context since the protag of the book doesn't know what happened.

I can't see any of this turning out well. I can't see a hasty patchwork of memories resulting in a fully-functioning person, let alone a pre-existing personality. Artie 2.0 is going to be vastly different from the Original Recipe and only time will tell how different.

My personal feeling is that things with Artie are going to get very, very bad. I don't see how they couldn't, but if the author chooses to make it all work (more or less) I'll just have to start skipping the books he's in. Which is fine. Author's world, author's choice and all that. I'm just not sure I can tread that path forward.

I'm very sad for all the characters involved, including Artie 2.0. What Sarah did was unforgivable, IMO, and while I had high hopes for them as a pairing that's over now. Maybe Artie 2.0 will emerge as his own fully-realized and interesting character (somehow), but he isn't going to be Artie and I can't in good conscience picture him getting together with Sarah. Even leaving aside that he's a different person now there's still what she did to him. That kind of love isn't really love and it's very dangerous. We may yet get to see just how dangerous it is.

#Calculated Risks spoilers #just mapping my feelings on it #NOT A CRITICISM #or criticism of a character but not the writing

0 notes

mordcore · 2 years ago

Text

i've never fallen in love. i fell in love once and realized that this feeling was completely new to me. it was nice and it was awful. i've never fallen in love and i never want to fall in love again.

when people say "you know it when you feel it" then they are right. if you don't know it then you don't feel it.

idk how i can tell for sure, as i've never felt it.

i've always been 100% end-case aromantic.

i used to be greyromantic but my orientations have changed.

i can't know if i will fall in love in the future.

i definitely won't fall in love in the future.

if i ever start falling in love in the future i'll know how to stop it from happening.

romantic feelings are involuntary and can't be helped.

if i ever had them i would be able to control them though.

love isn't real, it's a big conspiracy and no one knows this.

love is definitely real and i should force myself to feel it.

love means romantic love.

love doesn't mean romantic love, it also includes friends and family, it's a big category.

when people say love they always mean romantic love.

except when aros point this out, then they don't.

i am full of love, just not the romantic kind.

i do not love and i never have.

i love, i just don't like calling it that.

i hate the word love and i never use it.

i use the word love for objects exclusively.

i love heart symbolism and red hearts.

i hate heart symbolism and red hearts.

i like anatomical hearts because they are edgy.

i like to be provocatively aro and offend allos a little bit or maybe even a lot.

i don't want to offend anyone i just wanna stop being erased.

i hate romance in stories it's dumb. all stories would be better without romance.

i like good romantic stories because they are character driven.

i cannot relate to romantic stories at all.

i'm totally weak for the "make emotionally unavailable man soft because you're special" trope .

i never read romantic stories and i hate kissing scenes in movies.

i need to emotionally distance myself from kissing scenes in movies because they kind of bring up compallo-related trauma for me.

i hate kissing and i don't ever wanna do it.

i think kissing can be platonic and something to do with friends and it doesn't have to mean anything.

i'm not someone who kisses people.

i've kissed lots of people in my life.

i don't ever want people to have crushes on me it weirds me out.

i want people to have crushes on me so that i will be special to them.

you don't need romance to be committed to someone.

romanctic love is the higest commitment there is.

romance isn't even real.

no one would have crushes if they spent enough time debunking amatonormativity, and romantic love was invented by capitalism.

romantic love has always existed in the history of humanity.

romance is the opiod of the masses.

i've read and said and thought everything about aromanticism that is there to be said.

we have barely even scratched the surface.

#just some thoughts :^)#pretty sure plurality may be related to why i have so many contradicting opinions #but also sometimes thats just the way it is #aromantic #actually aromantic #hey this is an aromantic moodboard #my stuff #do reblog its fine!

147 notes · View notes

cjsinkythoughts · 4 years ago

Text

Not Your Captain

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 1695

Warnings: Falcon and the Winter Soldier Spoilers!!!!! Lots of Angst in this one, guys, lotta feels, some Fluff to counterbalance it, but mostly Angst, Cursing

A/N: This is Part Two to my previous FATWS writing, His Only Contact. FATWS SERIES STERLIST HERE! This one is from Reader’s perspective and gives you a bit more about Reader’s backstory. There will be multiple parts coming out in the next day or two based just on this new episode because damn. It was loaded! Due to this and my workload this past week, I haven’t been able to post the first chapter of my College!AU, Erased From the Stars, but I promise it’s coming! This’ll be my main focus for the weekend though! Expect more parts in the next 24 hours! I’ll be making a masterlist for this particular project in that time, too! Taglists are open! Please contact me if you want to be tagged! Thank you and please enjoy, loves! (Not beta’d, so sorry for mistakes!)

AGAIN: SPOILERS UNDER CUT!

The moment you saw it on TV, you knew you had to get to Bucky. You weren’t planning on leaving until the next day, but there was no way you weren’t going. So you caught the first plane you could from the base you were staying at.

You’re feelings were all over the place. Steve had been your best friend for more than the past decade. You were the one there when he first woke up. You were the one to help him get situated. You were the one to help him whenever he needed, to go over to his little place in DC when he was having problems, like the time he thought he was having an asthma attack when it was an anxiety attack or when you had to help him find a new phone after he accidentally broke his.

You were that close to falling in love with him. But life went the other way and, in a weird twist of fate, almost as if the universe wanted to spare you of the heartbreak it knew would come if you gave your heart to the dashing captain, you ended up tripping over your own feet for someone else.

Someone you would never tell.

He was the last thing you had left of Steve and you couldn’t ruin that because of your stupid feelings. And you couldn’t ruin the relationship you had now because it was working. He trusted you, more than anyone else. He trusted you because Steve trusted you and you wouldn’t dare break that trust.

You just hoped, with everything going down in relation to the shield - to his legacy - that you’d be able to keep that promise you made to yourself.

You were in front of his door early in the morning - around four - hesitating to knock. It didn’t take long for him to respond the moment your fist did meet the door.

He looked…tired. You wished, oh how you wished, that you could do more. Anything more. He insisted you helped him plenty already; he claimed he never had nightmares when you were by his side. But it wasn’t enough. Not for what he’d been through. You felt as though you were merely putting a bandaid over a bullet wound.

His chocolate locks were short, above his ears. You could remember how hesitant yet eager he was about doing it. It was difficult to not cut his ear off because he kept moving in anticipation. You would know: you cut it. Those blue eyes that made you trip in the first place were outlined by thick lashes, dark ebony bags beneath them, making the azure pop. He was shirtless, as he usually was when sleeping (or at least trying to sleep), his dog tags resting against his sternum.

You could tell he hadn’t been sleeping. His eyes were bloodshot as if he was watching TV for too long and his hair was less messy than it would be if he actually slept.

The moment his eyes found yours, his plump, chapped lips turned up into the grin he reserved for you and he was pulling you in. Your reaction was instantaneous, your arms slipping around his waist, your chin resting on his shoulder as he found home in the crook of your neck.

He was touch deprived. You knew this, but you never brought it up. Especially considering you were one of the only people he touched willingly. You didn’t want him thinking he was broken, more so than he thought he was already. And you definitely didn’t want to push him into fixing himself. So you didn’t tell him, even though you were pretty sure he knew, and you just let him take the lead.

Sometimes it meant he grabbed your hand in large crowds, or tucked you under his arm when he was threatened. Other times it meant laying his head in your lap when he was tired late at night, or a soft hug in greeting.

Hands slowly tracing his spine, fingers dancing up and down his back, you gave a small smile when you felt him practically purring in your embrace. You could never decide if he was more puppy or kitten. You used to make jokes about the three of them, Steve, Bucky, and Sam, being like a puppy, kitten, and bird that you had to reluctantly pet sit for a friend. You would give almost anything to be joking around like that with them when you went to visit Bucky in Wakanda with Steve.

“Buck?”

He hummed. You didn’t want to pull back, you wanted to stay connected with him for as long as possible, but you had to talk. You didn’t want to talk about it, because that would make it more real, but you had to. You had to.

“Have you seen the news recently?”

His eyebrows furrowed, his lips pulling down. “What happened? Is it Wanda?”

You looked down the hall, your lips pressed together tightly, before nodding inside. “We have to talk.”

He nodded, stepping back and pulling you inside. Seeing the makeshift bed on the floor against the far edge of the sofa made you inwardly sigh, but you didn’t say anything about it. Steve was the same way at first.

“Is she okay? Did you find her? Where-”

“It’s not Wanda.” Turning, you faced him, trying to control your own anger at the situation, knowing it wouldn’t help him any. “It’s…it’s about Steve.”

Those spectacularly blue eyes narrowed, bottom lip being sucked in between his teeth. “What about Steve?”

You gestured for him to come closer, holding out your hand in offering. He took it and followed you as you led him to the couch. A cleared throat and a deep breath later found you gently explaining what happened to him. That the government had taken back the shield and had given it to someone else. A ‘hero just for America’. A ‘new Captain America’.

You could see his features harden with every word, his jaw ticking dangerously, his chest heaving and his nostrils flaring. You squeezed his hand as you finished. “He’s got meetings and stuff with senators and governors. They’re taking him on a tour this week. They-they want me to meet him, considering I’m the last of the original seven. Active on Earth, at least.”

The tears that started forming in his eyes made you swallow your own emotions down thickly. He didn’t need your hatred of this wannabe to fuel his own. He needed your support and comfort. He needed to know you’d be by his side through this.

“Are you?”

You blinked, not expecting his first words to be that question. “Am I what?”

“Going to meet with him?”

“I-I…” You stopped talking, knowing that if you continued you’d end up ranting about how he wasn’t your captain. How he could never be your captain. Debating answers, you decided on a simple, blunt reply. “No.”

“Why…”

Running your thumb over his knuckles, you leaned over slowly to press a chaste kiss to his bare skin and blood shoulder. “Take your time. Collect your thoughts.”

He responded to your words by taking a deep breath, clenching his eyes shut, his jaw so tight you feared he might chip his teeth. It was a tense minute before he said anything, the room being filled with his harsh breathing. “You said he gave them the shield.”

“What?”

“Yesterday. You told me he gave up the shield. They put it in the Smithsonian. But you just said they took it from him.”

“He did give it to them, but-”

“Why?” His eyes snapped open, his features twisting into ones of frustration and resentment. “Why’d he give it to them?”

You shook your head, knowing Sam didn’t mean for any of that to happen. He had called you a few weeks ago to ask about your opinion on the matter. You told him that Steve trusted him, and you trusted Steve, so if Sam thought that was the right thing to do…you trusted him. “It’s not Sam’s fault. Don’t be mad-”

“Don’t be mad?! Don’t be mad?!” Bucky shot up, ripping his hand away from yours, making you bite your lip and hang your head as he paced in front of you. “Steve gave it to him! And he just gives it away like he’s regifting a shitty frisbee as a Christmas present! And you don’t want me to be mad?! Are you fucking kidding me, Y/N?!”

Cringing at the use of your name, which you rarely hear fall from his lips, especially in vexation like just then, you looked up at him, eyes pleading. “Bucky, I get it. I do. I’m mad, too. I’m-I’m furious. But you can’t blame Sam. Please. He just - he’s trying, Buck. Just like me. Just like you. We’re all trying.”

Bucky’s shoulders fell as he stared at you, eyes darting from feature to feature as he studied your face. Before you could say anything else, he was on the floor in front of you, in between your legs, arms wrapped around your waist and face pressed into your stomach.

You could tell he was holding something back - something big - but you wouldn’t push him. You never did. Displaying feelings was always hard for him, even in the early 1900’s; Steve used to tell you stories when you were looking for him after the fiasco in DC. Bucky grew up being the oldest of four and the only boy. On top of that, his best friend was a scrawny, stubborn, punching bag of a boy. According to Stevie, neither of them really learned how to cope or how to deal with feelings. And it showed. Boy, did it show.

Instead of getting on him and asking what was wrong and begging for him to talk to you, your fingers tangled in his hair, nails scratching his scalp, as you sat back to make the position more comfortable for him.

“Stay with me. I need you.”

You leaned down to press a soft kiss to his head, nodding into his hair. “I’ll stay. For as long as you need me, Buckaroo.”

Taglist (OPEN):

@happygoreading, @thatsdarwinism, @satellitespidey

2K notes · View notes

hispipsqueak · 3 years ago

Text

Burned

Enji Todoroki x F!Reader - NSFW

A/N: So @cozykozume wanted me to name this “Cooling Down the Fire Daddy” so there’s that. Anyways, in case you didn’t know, I LOVE Enji Todoroki....like an extraordinary amount. Which is hilarious, because I started the series hating him but I digress. So here’s one of my favorite things I’ve written and also one of the longest posts because I just...I am just so soft for this man. <3 Pip

WC: 4.5K

TW: unprotected sex, feelings, slight size kink, oral (f receiving), drunk sex, slight angst if you squint, slight authority kink (good girl etc.)

H/N = Hero Name

When you stepped into the meeting that morning you weren't sure what to expect.

"Welcome back!" Midnight's cheery voice cut through the air, her eyes bright. You smiled at her as the rest of your colleagues responded with a variation of greetings and welcome's. You had been on a six month long mission across the globe and arrived back yesterday. Though you were slightly jetlagged, you were ready to throw yourself back in the grind of hero work.

As you took your seat your eyes roamed to the largest figure in the room. Endeavor had stayed silent, his eyes trained on the brief documents in front of him. Hell, you weren't even sure if he had noticed you had returned. Your heart sank slightly.

What did you expect? It had been six months, six long, confusing months since that night of booze and desire. Six months since you had felt his large hands wrapped around your body, his lips pressed against your neck hungrily as you grinded against him.

Fuck. You cut another glance at him. His eyes were narrowed as he read over the papers in front of him and his face was in it's permanent scowl. If he noticed you at all, he was doing a good job hiding it.

Your thoughts were interrupted by Hawks swaggering in the room.

"Hey h/n! Long time, no see! How was the mission?" He called out, pulling you into a friendly hug. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Enji shift.

"Great. Managed to bust the kingpin and shut the entire operation down. Glad to be back though". You smiled back at the winged hero. He nodded, before taking his seat right next to the flame hero.

"Mornin' Endeavor!" his cheery voice rang out.

Enji grumbled a greeting, his eyes not looking up

Eraserhead cleared his throat from the head of the table.

"Let's get started."

You couldn't help zoning out as the dark haired hero discussed the current mission. You forced your eyes to stare at the file in front of you and not the man across from you. You were so focused, you almost didn't hear your name.

"H/N, you will be working with Endeavor."

Your eyes widened, and your head snapped up. You finally dared to look at Enji who's expression hadn't changed. As Eraser concluded the meeting, you steeled your nerves and walked to the flame hero.

"Endeavor, I-"

He cut you off.

"Train. I will not be dragged down by you because you haven't sparred properly in six months."

Your demeanor steeled.

“I wasn’t just partying it up over there. I was working.”

If he cared, it didn’t register on his face. His turquoise eyes were fixed at the spot above you instead of meeting yours. Without another word, he turned to leave. You felt your face grow hot. Determined to not show emotion, you pursed your lips, grabbing your things to head back to your apartment.

---

“Endeavor, you lucky dog.”

Endeavor looked up from the paperwork on his desk with a bored expression.

“What are you talking about Hawks?” His voice was tinged with annoyance as he looked back down to the documents from the intel team.

“Stop pretending you aren’t thrilled to be working with H/N. She’s the BEST, and between you and me, she’s definitely one of the most beautiful heroes.” The blonde faux-whispered, tossing back his head in a chuckle. Endeavor fixed him with an aggravated stare.

“I have no desire to work with H/N. She has been on a mission for 6 months, so we are at a disadvantage anyway, since I doubt she was actually working all of that time. Especially since her behavior is comparable to yours.”

Hawks cocked a bushy brow.

“Deny it all you want, big guy. Your body language is different when you’re around her. You should ask her out. I’m sure she’d say yes. Some girls like the mean and broody type.”

Smoke emitted from the corner of Endeavor’s desk, where his hand rested. Clearing his throat, he attempted to put it out, but not before the annoying bird hero noticed.

With a smirk, Hawks headed towards the door.

“Don’t screw this up, Endeavor!”

----

What Hawks didn’t know is Enji had already screwed this up. Before you left, six long months ago, you and Endeavor were on relatively friendly terms. Well as friendly as one can be with the hotheaded flame hero. It was you that convinced him to go out that night with the other pro-heroes. And when the night ended, he had walked you home.

Surprisingly, he could be a gentleman when he wanted to be.

The walk home had been quiet, though you and Enji both had a bit to drink. Emboldened by the alcohol, you finally had turned to him.

“Enji, why do you try to push us away?”

Your boldness surprised him. It wasn’t a surprise he could come off a bit stoic, at best. Yet no one, especially newer heroes, called him out on this behavior. It was just “how he was”. Before he could stop himself he blurted out,

“I don’t wish to hurt people anymore.”

His face heated up and you could see a crimson blush rising up towards his ears. In that moment, you could see a glimpse of Enji, not Endeavor.

This wasn’t to say Enji wasn’t attractive. Yet, him exposing himself, allowing vulnerability? That made your heart jump in your chest. Turning away, you thought about what he meant. You knew his family had been estranged from him, his kids not a frequent presence in his life. You had seen a few gossip magazines detailing how his kids often avoided their childhood home, and you had read about Rei’s hospitalization. You imagined how lonely he must feel, though if there was truth to any of those rumors, you could see why they would be wary.

“This is your home, yes?”

His voice broke your train of thought. You looked up and realized all too soon the two of you were outside your door. Your hand rested on the door handle and you imagined him sitting in a quiet living room, a house empty.

“Would you like to come in for a bit?” Your voice was squeaky and unsure and you were surprised when he grunted in affirmation.

Wordlessly he followed you into the apartment. Somehow, without speaking, you could both feel it. The loneliness that bonded you, the freedom of being vulnerable in the dark blanket of the night, these moments allowing you to breathe and just be without expectation and titles. Because here, you weren’t pro-heroes, you were yourselves, seeking the tiny bits of comfort the other could provide.

As you entered the apartment, the silence between you intensified. Your stomach was buzzing with nerves and as you looked up at him, you could feel the anticipation of who would break first. His hands found your hips and pulled you towards him, and soon his lips were on yours. He tasted like the scotch he had been drinking, warm and rich. His hands were hot where they met your skin, and you pressed closer in his embrace. Rough stubble scratched at your skin and you kissed him deeper, desperately wanting to let him in and lose yourself in him at the same time.

Your back pressed against the wall, and his fingers grazed the bottom of your shirt. Breathlessly you finally broke apart. Looking in each other's eyes, you unbuttoned your shirt, fingers trembling in anticipation. He took this as his cue to pull off his own, and you admired his strong muscles, littered with scars. You could feel his eyes roam your body as you undid the last button, leaving you in a simple bra and pants. His hands, hands that could throw buildings and fight villains, were gentle against your skin, slowly running over your belly to the edge of your bra. When you didn’t protest, he tugged at the clasps, letting it fall off your shoulders to the floor.

He pressed hungry kisses to your shoulder, slowly working his way down. His touches were gentle, as if you would break if he wasn’t careful and his mind raced, wanting to explore every inch of you. A soft moan escaped your lips as he nipped at your neck. Enji’s body tensed, and his grip tightened as he kissed lower, desperate to hear more of your sweet noises.

His pants were painfully tight now, and you seemed to understand, because he could feel your small fingers working the latch on his belt, tugging his slacks down and exposing the tent in his boxers. He let out a low groan as your fingers wrapped around his clothed cock. Enji was a lot bigger than anyone in general, though he never really thought about it until now, when your hand was struggling to wrap completely around his thick member.

Maneuvering his hands from your hips, he cupped your breasts, pressing aching kisses to them. He sucked bruises into your skin, and bit back a groan as your fingers found their way under his waistband. Enji wrapped his arms around your waist, lifting you up, and you nodded to the general area of the bedroom. Nudging the door open, he gently rested you on the bed. Sliding your pants over your hips, leaving you exposed, a thin pair of black panties being the only barrier between the redhead and your sex.

His hands gripped your things, parting you open and he placed a soft kiss on your belly. He worked his way lower, hooking his fingers under your waistband and dragging the material over your curves before tossing it off the bed. Tracing over your soft mound with his finger, he pushed open the lips of your cunt. Like a man starved, he buried his face in your pussy, his tongue devouring your slick.

Your hands gripped his red hair and he groaned into you. Pulling your legs over his shoulders, he fucked you on his tongue, before sucking your throbbing clit between his lips. Eyes rolling back, your breathy moans filled the apartment. You felt yourself climbing higher and higher, so close to euphoria as you grinded on his face.

“Fuck...delicious.” He growled into your cunt. His fingers gripped your thighs, almost painfully and the vibrations of his voice pushed you over the edge. Your thighs squeezed around his head and your back arched off the soft bed as you cried out his name. He continued his assault on your cunt, slurping down your juices as your fingers tugged his locks, gasping at the overstimulation. Still, Enji continued to drown himself in you, your sweet taste like nectar of the gods. He wanted so much more of you, to stay here for hours, pulling orgasm after orgasm out of you. He could feel the muscles in your thighs tense as you came again, your body trembling from the impact.

Pulling away, he kissed your lips, the taste of you on his tongue. Your tongues entwined, as your arms wrapped around his neck, feeling the muscles of his upper back flex. Too soon and yet not fast enough he broke away, positioning himself between your legs, his massive frame towering over you. His hands rested on the bed on opposite sides of your face as he looked down at your body. Your lips were puffy from his kiss, parted slightly. Your eyes were glassy, half-lidded and hungry for more. You met his gaze and inhaled, giving him the slightest nod. He lined his cock up with your entrance, gently pushing the head in. You gasped at the stretch, and after a moment rocked your hips, spurring him to continue. Easing his cock in, he gritted his teeth at how tight your cunt wrapped around him. His hands moved to your hips as he pulled himself out of you, leaving the tip in before thrusting back into you.

Gripping your hips, he bounced you on his cock easily. Moans fell from your mouth, stuttering each time he bottomed out in you. One hand left your hip and gripped the headboard as his heavy balls smacked against your ass. Enji groaned as your legs wrapped around his waist, forcing him deeper. The headboard creaked under his force as he pounded into you, your moans of his name spurring him on, making him want to give you all of him. Your small hand ran over his chest, the dark hair soft under your fingers as you dug your nails in his skin. You felt overwhelmingly full, his thick cock filling every crevice inside you.

Enji’s fiery eyes roamed your body, watching as your breasts bounced with each thrust. He could practically see the bulge in your belly from his cock and as lewd as the scene was, there was something so beautiful about you in the throes of passion. His name dripped from your lips like a mantra and he could feel the desire, the want that you carried, begging him to give you everything he had. Your fingers danced across his muscles, a touch so intimate. A touch he hadn’t felt in years.

With a crack, the wooden headboard began to splinter as Enji unloaded into you with a shout. Your body felt heavy as he shot white ropes of cum deep inside you, some spilling out around his cock and onto your sheets. With a final groan, he stilled, slowly sliding his softening cock out of you and collapsing next to you on the bed.

It was silent, except for the sounds of both of you breathing hard, your chests rising and falling in tandem. Enji could hear his heart thumping wildly and he turned to look at you. Your eyes were closed, breathing labored but slow and you sleepily turned towards him, laying your head on his massive bicep.

The next morning, he was gone. The only evidence that the night had even happened was the crack that ran across your headboard and the glass of water on your night stand. Enji avoided you during hero meetings, always somehow on a busy patrol when you called, his assistant taking your message, yet again until you gave up trying.

When the months-long mission was offered to you, you accepted it without hesitation. Enji didn’t attempt to say goodbye.

-----

Now, Enji was torn.

There was no getting out of this. He thought about reaching out to Eraserhead to ask about working alone, though he knew the sleepy hero would ask questions he didn’t want to get into. Enji furrowed his brow as he swung again at the punching bag in front of him, taken to training in his private outdoor home gym rather than the regular hero gyms to avoid you, though you hadn’t made any more attempts to speak to him.

He jabbed at the bag. This was ridiculous. He was a pro-hero. Allowing this to interfere with his work made him weak, and Endeavor was not weak.

He wasn’t weak.

Enji threw a few more punches, shaking the sweat off as he reached for the bottle of water behind him.

“Enji.”

He stiffened.

“Enji Todoroki, I don’t know why you are ignoring me or what I did to you, but we need to talk about what happened.” Your voice was clear, stronger than it was the day of the meeting.

He took a swig from his water bottle, biding his time. Finally turning around, he faced you. You were in a simple t-shirt and track pants, probably coming from a workout yourself. Your eyes were ablaze, demanding to get answers. Enji felt a stabbing pain in his chest as he compared the image of you now, to the image of you from that night.

“I have nothing to say. We will work on this mission, and be civil to each other. That’s all.” Enji attempted to push past you and you turned on your heel.

“You know what? Fine. You want to pretend you didn’t feel anything that night? That meant nothing to you whatsoever? Was it just to hook up, get your dick wet and leave? Because you didn’t need me for that.” Your tone was angry but Enji could hear the hurt in your statements. Facing you, he glared down.

“What do you want from me? To be your boyfriend? I’m not that man. Try Hawks, he’s into that sort of nonsense. I don’t need or want this trouble in my life anymore.” Enji’s voice was hard, the tone he used for villains or the press. You searched his face, seeking the man from that night. Enji, not Endeavor.

You thought over his words. “Enji...what are you so afraid of?”

The tone of your voice shifted. Softer, easier. He remembered how he felt when you begged for him, when you showed your desire for him through each touch and kiss. He finally looked into your eyes, eyes so full of earnest curiosity. Why couldn’t you just make this easy? He swallowed hard.

Fat droplets of water splashed onto his arms, and no sooner did he notice that the sky opened up, sheets of rain pouring over the two of you. Without thinking, he gripped your hand tugging you to the house. Even though it wasn’t a far journey, you were both soaked, and he could see you shivering. Grabbing a towel from the linen closet, he wrapped it around your shoulders. You murmured a thanks, standing awkwardly in his doorway.

He reached for your hand, leading you to the laundry room. Your hands were small in his and he tried to not focus on his heartbeat that pounded in his ears.

“Wait here.” He grunted, leaving to grab clothes for both of you. He grabbed one of his, then thought better and dug around for anything Fuyumi or Rei may have left. No luck. He sighed, returning to the room where you were sitting on top of the washer.

Thrusting the clothes into your hands, he left to give you some privacy to change as he pulled on his clothes. A few minutes later he heard you giggling. You stepped out, drowning in his way too big shirt. The shirt extended nearly to your knees. The sweatpants he gave you were sliding off your hips and he glimpsed your thighs as you attempted to pull them up. Shrugging, you let them fall to the floor, your legs exposed.

“Sorry, but I don’t think they will stay on. Luckily, your shirt hides everything important.” You said, looking down. Enji mentally disagreed, since any inch of skin he could see would be burned into his brain forever.

Tossing both your clothes into the washer, he set the timer and then it was silent. You spoke first.

“I thought I did something wrong.”

Enji turned to you, Your gaze was fixed on the washing machine, though your eyes looked distant. You continued.

“I thought maybe you thought it was a drunken mistake.”

“I wasn’t drunk.”

You turned. Enji’s cerulean eyes were downcast at the laminate flooring. You opened your mouth to speak but he cut you off.

“I’m not good at this. I’m not stupid, I know the rumors about my family that people say. They aren’t all lies. I did fuck it up. I did a lot of bad, terrible things and pushed them away. Rei, and the kids...they didn’t deserve any of the pain I caused them.”

His shoulders sagged, the weight of his past overtaking him. “I did, I do love them. But I understand why they had to leave.” He sat on the small couch in the corner.

Enji felt your hand cover his, your thumb rubbing circles over his knuckles. He closed his eyes, inhaling deeply.

“Enji...doing shitty things doesn’t make you a shitty person. You can’t punish yourself forever.” Your voice was soft, soothing. Enji finally met your eyes.

“I’ve already fucked that up. I fucked this up. I don’t want to hurt people I care about anymore. It’s easier this way.”

You wrapped your arms around him. The two of you made quite a sight, the smaller figure cradling the large man. You stood in front of him and he let himself relax into you, his head resting on your chest. He could smell your scent, warm and comforting, even under his shirt. Your fingers grazed his hair, holding him to you. Enji thought of the nights where he lay in bed, allowing himself to imagine your body next to him.

He was tired of being strong.

“Enji...I can’t say everything will be perfect. But punishing yourself before it starts isn’t going to do anything but cause more pain.”

He could feel your heartbeat, a steady rhythm that matched his breathing. He was aware of his hands around your body, your soft strokes in his hair. He thought about how it would feel to have your touches, hold you in his arms every day, every night.

Enji allowed himself to fall.

He raised his head, his lips meeting yours. With each kiss he silently told you his hopes, his fears, and his apologies. In turn, you gave him comfort and acceptance. He pulled you onto his lap, so you were straddling him, kissing you hard to make up for the months of missed opportunities.

You kissed for what felt like forever, never wanting to stop. His hands slid down your back and across your thighs, going under your shirt.

“You look so good in this. Wanna see this more often.” He whispered, a smirk on his face. You giggled and he had the desire to hear all of your beautiful sounds. In time, he reminded himself.

“Enji, are you flirting with me?” You teased and he pulled you close in another kiss. His hands wandered across your soft skin and he could feel the hardened peaks of your nipples through the thin cotton of the shirt. He kissed down your jaw, and your fingers grasped at his hair, causing him to groan into your neck.

“You tease me so much, Y/N.” He growled out as you grinded on his lap. You could feel his cock stir through his joggers, and you felt yourself growing wetter on his lap. He pulled your shirt up to your waist, exposing your thin panties to him. He could feel your arousal through the fabric and ran his thumb down the dark spot over your cunt. You let out a soft whimper and his eyes blazed with hunger.

Pulling your shirt above your tits, he took one in his mouth, sucking harshly. He grazed your nipple with his teeth, causing your back to arch. He switched sides, his tongue swirling around the sensitive bud. Your hips rocked against his bulge, more prominent now and he pulled away from your chest.

“I want you Enji.” Your voice was soft and seductive, and Enji felt your words go straight to his cock. Picking you up, he carried you to his room. The lights were dim and you didn’t have time to look around before he dropped you on the bed, pushing your legs apart and lapping at your cunt through your drenched panties.

“Already so excited, sweet girl. Taste so good for me.” Enji murmured into your pussy, pressing kisses and bites to your thighs. You whined, attempting to push down your panties and he laughed, a low chuckle that rumbled in his chest.

“So eager, aren’t you?”

You pouted at him. “It’s been too long and I’ve missed you so much.”

Enji was grateful for the dark room hiding the blush that spread across his face. He busied himself by dragging your panties down at an agonizingly slow pace, taking the time to admire your legs, his fingers skimming the skin causing shivers to go down your spine. Enji turned to take in the scene. Your body, draped across the sheets, mouth parted, eyes full of want staring up at him, silently begging for him. He had pictured this many times, many sleepless nights, but the reality was so much better.

“So beautiful.” HIs voice was quiet, and his heart thumped wildly. He was nervous, even though he had already been with you once before. This time felt so raw, so much more real. He wanted to be with you in every way he could, in any way you would let him and he could tell you wanted the same.

As he pulled off his shirt, your hands slid into the waistband of his pants, grazing over the head of his throbbing cock. He groaned as your fingers slid over the sensitive head, smearing precum down the shaft. You pushed down the rest of his clothes and he kneeled between your legs. Both of you were quiet, and you could feel the excitement in the air of doing this, being with each other completely. It was vulnerable, it was scary, but he trusted you to be there when he fell. And in turn, you trusted him to be yours.

Pushing into you, your breath hitched. He felt your body clamp down on him, and he slowed, easing his way in. Your nails dug into the skin of his biceps and you gasped as he bottomed out in you.

Pressing his forehead to yours, he searched your eyes for discomfort. Instead you gazed at him with complete adoration, bright eyes completely infatuated.

“You’re perfect, Enji.” Your voice was quiet and breathy, but clear. In response he pressed a harsh kiss to your mouth, trying to explain every emotion he felt, words he couldn’t say just yet. As you kissed, he rocked into you, his thick cock dragging against your walls. Your soft moans were swallowed by his kisses, and the stinging marks left on his arms only drove him crazier. He fucked into you faster, feeling your tight cunt squeezing around him, wanting so badly to stay inside you forever.

Sweat plastered his hair to his forehead, and the room was filled with your sweet sounds, interspersed with his praises.

“Taking me so well. Such a good girl. Fuck, so beautiful.” Enji gasped out, his high imminent. Each thrust had you seeing stars and you felt like your body was floating. Moving his hands from the sheets, he slid over your clit, teasing your body. You clenched around him.

“Fuck, right there,don’t stop!” You gasped out, grasping at the bedsheets, your back arching off to meet his thrusts. Enji complied, his rhythm speeding up as he toyed with your clit and you cried out, your body squeezing his cock like a vice. You gushed around his cock, and he fucked into you faster, feeling his body heat up. With a groan he slammed into you, holding you down as he spilled into you. His hips stuttered as he filled you with every drop, and soon the room was filled with panting as both of you struggled to catch your breath.

Easing out of you, he grabbed a towel, cleaning you up before collapsing next to you. You were both quiet and you were reminded of the time before. Nervous, you turned to him and made eye contact.

“Are you staying this time?” Your voice was small and Enji saw your fingers threading the sheets, nervously.

“It’s my house.” He responded seriously. Caught off guard, you burst into laughter. He watched you amused. You looked gorgeous and he would never get used to the sound of your laughter filling the house that had been quiet for too long.

Catching your breath, you turned back to him.

“What I mean is...do you want to do this? Together?”

Enji looked at the bed that was no longer empty, felt the life and warmth that filled the house, exuding from you just being there and entwined his hand with yours.

“Yes.”

#enji todoroki #enji todoroki x reader #endeavor smut #endeavor x reader #mha smut

686 notes · View notes