#so I don't want to look at spreadsheets today

[lickthecowhappy]

Yeah, I COULD do my job...

OR I could go through all my favorite good omens artists and queue up a few hundred posts...

[watery-melon-baller]

the great news is that I've finished my spreadsheet on TOH ao3 data and the data is VERY interesting. now i just have to finish this survey and then things will get. very funky

[fandom-data-scientist]

a few months ago, i installed a userscript that will automatically apply saved filters to whatever search you're making; however, because it was first made in 2014, the way it actually works is that it applies filters as if you were plugging something into the "search within results" box, which will not actually filter out tags, but rather, keywords present anywhere in a fic and its metadata.

this is not very useful on its own, considering the fact that most everyone likes ao3 so much for its robust tag filters. fortunately, there remains an old-fashioned search method from the time before native exclusion filters existed on the site, which allowed people to use "-filter_ids:[integer]" in the "search within results" box to exclude tags proper, as we expect them to work today.

there are, of course, other methods of having sticky/saved filters on ao3, such as bookmarking one's url after applying all the filters you desire to a particular search, but then that requires not only inputting all my filters again when i enter a new fandom tag (thereby necessitating maintaining a reference list), but also maintaining a bunch of bookmarks for everything i might want to regularly check, which. like. boooooo

anyway, another reason i like that userscript so much is bc a while back i learned that the ao3 advanced search box runs off apache lucene to parse its queries, meaning that you can actually get incredibly fine-grained with your requests. for example, to filter out both "slow burn that is complete and under 50k" and "slow burn that is in-progress and under 10k" while leaving all other slow burn fics in the same search:

-(filter_ids:103132 AND complete:false AND word_count:[* TO 10000]) -(filter_ids:103132 AND complete:true AND word_count:[* TO 50000])

or you could develop a whitelist for the tags you're filtering by using "!", like filtering out all ocs unless they're by a particular person:

-(filter_ids:2927 !user_ids:[integer])

point being, the ao3 advanced search box is very powerful, the possibilities are endless, and i am married to that saved filters script these days.

however, i am also a picky little bitch, and i have somewhere around a hundred tags i have automatically filtered out for my current fandom, and about forty additional tags that i have filtered out everywhere. the saved filters makes it a lot easier to maintain these filters, but also i'm lazy about appending new tags, and they can be hard to dig through if i want to take something out for whatever reason, so recently i've been putting together a spreadsheet that will automate the queries i want copy-pasted into the saved filters input box.

most of it has been simple, just maintaining a sheet with the name and filter_ids number of what i want filtered unconditionally, but for the more complex requests, uh.

(this one is supposed to say "22 !(176 || 110)")

(this one is supposed to say "((22 !(176 || 110 || 49838047)) AND expected_number_of_chapters:[5 TO 25]) || [further queries])"

........well, it's going!!!!

one of my friends says i should publish the spreadsheet when i perfect it, since even tho most people aren't as picky as me, it'd be nice to showcase ao3's fullest capabilities with it. for various reasons, it likely won't be much use to most people as a spreadsheet, but i've been Considering maybe figuring out how to make a userscript (or maybe even a firefox extension, if i can get permission from the people who made the relevant bookmarklets/userscripts to use their code And Also figure out enough js for that), so idk. stay tuned for that, maybe!

[annabelle--cane]

"the magnus protocol had a whole ARG beforehand? what?"

yes! it did!

"oh so I need to have participated in this whole big thing to actually understand the podcast?"

not at all! from the official post-mortem put out by RQ, "while the ARG was not something that was necessary to participate in to understand the magnus protocol, it was designed to contain a wealth of background story and context that would enrich any player's listening experience."

"a wealth of background context that would enrich my listening experience 👀👀👀 how can I learn about this?"

SO glad you asked. sadly, many of the materials made for the arg have been taken down since the game ended 😔 (ex., the official OIAR, magnus institute, and bonzoland websites. (edit ii: I found partial wayback machine captures! see below) though @strangehauntsuk is still up!), so we're a bit low on primary sources, but in terms of learning about what happened:

for a starting point, I would really recommend this video by @pinkelotjeart

it's super accessible, it was made in real time as the game progressed and follows the solving and revelation of clues as they happened, it hits all the major points of the mystery and moments of community insanity while eliding some of the nitty gritty puzzle grinding, 10/10 would recommend.

here's the official summary put out by RQ, and I'd recommend reading through this once you've already gotten a basic handle on the flow of the story and the basic connections between major clues and events. it's got some fun behind-the-scenes info and lays out the thought process behind the puzzles in simple terms

here's the full masterdoc of all puzzles and resolutions put together in the statement remains discord server. masterdoc my absolute BELOVED, masterdoc my bethrothed, masterdoc my soul mate. I'd recommend this as a second port of call after the above video as it either contains all details about the puzzles or links to other expanded docs that do.

here's the narrative summary doc that lays out all the plot and lore discovered in three pages of plain prose. if you just want to get to the good bits as fast as you can and get blasted directly in the face by contextless lore bombs, this is the doc for you. if you don't want to start with the video, I'd say this is another good entry point.

once you've got the lay of the land, some of the game materials that I found particularly interesting include:

the in-universe east germany expat usenet forum, with all content translated into english. most of it is irrelevant space filler with occasional extremely sus lore, but I still found it fun to read through. love to soak in some fictional forum drama.

chdb.xlsx, the spreadsheet of the names of all the children the protocol 'verse magnus institute was studying/experimenting on. EDIT: here is a version of the sheet without any annotations and with all of the names in their original order, kudos to @theboombutton for catching that the commonly shared copy had the order swapped around.

klaus.xls, a (very corrupted) spreadsheet with what looks like the classifications of a bunch of old OIAR cases.

EDIT: have a few more saved materials from the game that I forgot to include.

an in-universe audio ad to apply to the OIAR that ran before archives episodes and kicked off the whole game.

an in-universe video ad to apply to the OIAR, this one is an official upload that's still up from the game itself. you can subscribe to the OIAR's official youtube channel today, if you so chose.

the robo-voicemail greeting from the OIAR's phone line.

EDIT II:

here is a wayback machine capture of the OIAR's official website.

here is a wayback machine capture of the bonzoland website.

(pretty sure both of the above captures just archived the home pages, though I haven't tried clicking all of the links. I'd say they're still worth looking at, the home pages give a good window into the vibes.)

once you start poking around in these documents, you'll find a bunch of links to others with further information, the materials I've included here just contain what I feel to be the most relevant details to getting a broad feel for the whole game. once again, huge shout out to the statement remains server, I was barely in there as the ARG was in progress and only ducked my head in every so often to find links like these. true mvps of the fandom.

[gilbertscurls]

Into it ➵ Matt Sturniolo

warnings: dry humping, soft!dom!reader, pet names (sweetheart, honey, my sweet boy)

synopsis: Matt is struggling with a persistent headache from hours of staring at his computer screen. Meanwhile, you find yourself unexpectedly captivated by how different—and attractive—Matt looks with his glasses on.

there's 400 of you already!! love you guys <3

Matt rubbed his temples as the dull ache behind his eyes intensified, the glow of the computer screen doing nothing to help. He’d been staring at it for hours, the spreadsheet blurring before him. Finally, with a sigh, he reached into his backpack and pulled out his blue light glasses.

“Man, I hate these things,” he muttered under his breath, sliding them on.

The glasses framed his face differently, the sleek black design making him look more focused, sharper. He blinked a few times, his headache already starting to ease, and went back to his work, not noticing the way you had suddenly gone very quiet.

You sat across from him, tapping at your laptop with a rhythm that had slowly died the moment Matt had put those glasses on. Your fingers hovered over the keyboard now, completely still, as you stole another glance his way.

He looked… Good. Really good.

You’d never paid much attention to Matt's glasses before, but for some reason, today was different. Maybe it was the way the lenses caught the light, making his blue eyes stand out, or how they seemed to give him this air of intelligence and quiet confidence. Whatever it was, you couldn’t stop staring.

“Baby?” Matt's voice cut through your thoughts, and you blinked, realizing you’d been caught.

“Huh?” you replied, your voice just a bit too high.

“I asked if you could double-check these numbers. You okay?” His brow furrowed in concern, but his gaze was calm behind those lenses.

“Oh! Yeah, totally.” You cleared your throat, tearing your eyes away from him and focusing on the screen. Your cheeks warmed, and you prayed he couldn’t see the blush creeping up your neck.

But as you tried to concentrate, you kept stealing glances, biting your lip as the thought kept circling in your head—How is it possible for someone to look so good in glasses?

“I, um… I think everything checks out,” you said, looking up at him with a small smile.

Matt reached out and took your hand, gently pulling you into his lap. He wanted to feel you close to him, to wrap his arms around you and hold you tight.

He leaned in and nuzzled his face into your neck, inhaling your scent and placing a soft kiss on your skin. His hands continued to rove over your legs and sides, moving in slow, soothing motions. His lips continued to move against your neck, leaving a trail of kisses along your skin as he inhaled your scent. The feeling of you in his lap, your weight on him, was so comforting and satisfying. You felt so light and delicate, and he was overcome with a protective feeling towards you.

Matt could feel you relaxing more and more into him, your body melting into his like you were made to fit together. He moved his arms around your waist, pulling you even closer to him. He could feel your soft curves pressing against him, and he couldn't help but feel a stirring of desire in his core.

He continued to nuzzle his face against your neck, his lips leaving feather-light kisses along your skin. His hands moved up your sides, gently tracing your shape and memorizing every contour of your body.

“How's your head, my sweet boy?” you asked softly.

He smiled at your endearment, feeling warmth spread through his chest. He loved when you called him your sweet boy, it always made him feel cared for and loved.

“My head is doing alright, honey,” he said, his voice soft. “I feel better with you in my arms.”

You giggled. “Glad to hear it.”

He chuckled at your giggle, feeling his heart skip a beat at the sound of your laughter. He pulled back so he could look you in the eyes, his hands still gently holding your sides.

“I don't think any medication could have worked as well as you,” he said, his tone teasing. “I should probably just make you my personal headache cure from now on.”

You looked at him with amusement before reaching up. He smiled as you fixed his glasses, your touch gentle and caring. He loved it when you did little things like that, it made him feel loved and cared for in such a simple way.

“You know, I wasn't sure about wearing these,” he said, gesturing to his glasses. “But seeing how much you seem to like them, I might have to wear them more often.”

“They make me feel… Some type of way,” you admitted sheepishly.

His smile widened as you admitted that his glasses made you feel a certain way. He was intrigued by the idea that something as simple as glasses could have an effect on you.

“Oh, really?” he teased. “And what kind of way do they make you feel, honey? Don't be shy now.”

“The 'I wanna jump you' kind of way.”

He let out a low, surprised moan when you said that, his body reacting in an instant. The thought of you being so turned on by something as simple as his glasses stirred something deep inside him.

“Is that so?” he asked, his voice a bit rougher than before. “And here I was thinking that these glasses made me look stupid.”

You laughed at his statement before shaking your head. “On the contrary,” you said, your eyes raking over him. “You look incredibly smart, and incredibly sexy in those glasses.”

You leaned in, your lips brushing against his ear as you continued in a low, sultry voice. “You look like a goddamn sex God sitting there with your legs spread, wearing your glasses and all. It's doing things to me, you have no idea.”

He felt a shiver run down his spine as your lips brushed against his ear and you whispered your words in that sultry tone. He felt a rush of desire and arousal at your words, and he felt himself harden even more in his pants.

“God, honey,” he groaned. “You can't say things like that to me when I'm already this worked up.”

You giggled playfully at his response, clearly enjoying the effect you were having on him. Your tongue poked out to wet your lips as you looked down at his lap, noticing the obvious bulge in his pants.

“Oh, I can tell,” you teased, your tone sultry. “I can see you're already hard. Does it turn you on that I think your glasses are sexy?”

He swallowed hard, his throat feeling dry. He was painfully hard in his pants, and your words were making him even more turned on. The combination of your sultry tone and the way you were looking at him was driving him wild.

“Yes,” he admitted, his voice low and rough. “Yes, it does. The thought of you wanting me like this, just because of a pair of glasses, is making me insane.”

You smirked, clearly pleased with his response. You leaned in closer, your lips right next to his ear.

“You have no idea, my sweet boy,” you murmured. “You have no idea how badly I want you right now, how much your glasses turn me on. I'm practically dripping at the thought of having you, all worked up and wearing your glasses.”

His body trembled at your words, his breath catching in his chest. Your words were like gasoline on an already raging fire, stoking the flames of his desire. The thought of you being so turned on by him, just because of his glasses, was driving him wild.

“Oh God,” he groaned, his voice strained. “Please...don't tease me like that, honey. I can't take much more of this.”

He felt you straddle him, your legs on each side of his hips. He instinctively reached to hold your hips, feeling the heat radiating off of you and the way your body pressed against his. You were sitting on his lap, and the feeling was driving him crazy.

“Jesus, sweetheart,” he breathed, his voice tight. “Are you trying to kill me?”

“Maybe I am,” you teased, your voice sultry. “Maybe I'm just trying to drive you insane.”

You began to roll your hips against his, grinding against him and feeling his hardness even through the layers of clothing. You smiled as you watched his face contort with pleasure at your movements.

“You feel so good,” you purred, your hands running up and down his chest. “And you look even better with those glasses on.”

He let out a low moan as you rolled your hips against him, the friction of your body rubbing against his sending waves of pleasure through his body. Feeling your wetness through your pants, grinding against him, was driving him crazy.

“God, honey,” he gasped, his voice strained. “You're going to kill me if you keep doing that.”

“And what a way to die,” you teased, your tongue poking out to wet your lips as you continued grinding against him. “You're hard and throbbing under me, and all because I like your glasses. How does it feel, my sweet boy?”

He felt his body responding to your movements, his hips instinctively bucking up to meet your grinding. He was so hard, it was almost painful, and the thought that you were enjoying this so much just because of his glasses was driving him wild.

“It feels amazing,” he groaned. “You have no idea how good you feel against me. I never knew my glasses could have this effect on you.”

“There's something about a smart, hot man wearing glasses that just does it for me,” you admitted, your voice dripping with desire. “You look so intelligent, so focused, and it's such a turn-on. And when you look at me over the rim of your glasses, it makes me want to devour you.”

He let out a guttural moan at your words, his grip on your hips tightening as he felt his desire for your grow even more. He loved seeing you so turned on and wanting him, and the thought that his glasses were part of the reason was incredible.

“You're killing me, honey,” he groaned. “You're so goddamn hot right now, and you know it. I don't know how much more I can take.”

You ground against him even harder, your movements becoming more insistent and desperate. You could feel how hard he was, how much he wanted you, and it only added to your own desire and need for him.

“Maybe I want to drive you over the edge,” you whispered, your voice sultry. “Maybe I want to see how much you can take before you break.”

“God, you're going to make me lose my mind,” he panted, his voice tight with desire. “If you keep talking and moving like that, I'm not going to be able to hold back much longer.”

You smiled, satisfied with his response. You could tell that he was close, that he was struggling to keep his control.

“Is that right?” you teased. “Are you going to give in to me, my sweet boy? Are you going to let go and let me take care of you?”

“God, yes,” he groaned, his voice hoarse with desire. “God, yes, I want you so badly. I need you to take care of me, honey. Just please, for the love of God, don't torture me any longer.”

You giggled at his desperation, loving the power you held over him at this moment. You could tell that he was close to breaking point, and you loved the effect you had on him.

“I love when you're so desperate for me like this,” you whispered, your mouth right next to his ear. “It's so hot to know that I have this much control over you.”

He shivered at your words, his body responding to your voice and your closeness. He felt like he was on the edge, ready to fall over any second. He was completely at your mercy, and he loved it.

“Please, honey,” he panted, his voice strained. “Please, I need you. I need you so badly. Don't make me wait any longer.”

You grinned, relishing in his pleading and desperation. You loved having him like this, so desperate and needy for you.

“Okay, my sweet boy,” you murmured, your voice low and sultry. “I'll give you what you want. Just let go, and let me take care of you.”

His breath caught in his chest as you rocked against him, his grip on your hips tightening even more. He could feel himself getting closer and closer to the edge, his body tensing up and his mind going blank from the pleasure.

“Oh God,” he gasped, his voice strained. “Oh God, honey, you're going to make me lose it. I'm so close, so close…”

You loved how desperate and on the edge he was, and you loved that you was the one doing this to him. You kept up your movements, riding him harder and faster, determined to push him over the edge. “Let go, my sweet boy,” you whispered, your mouth right next to his ear again. “Just let go, and give in to me. I want to see you lose control, just for me.”

Your words were the last straw, and he felt himself teetering on the edge.

“Oh God, honey, I'm- I'm-”

He couldn't finish his sentence, but you knew what was about to happen. His body tensed up even more, his breathing ragged and quick as he felt himself starting to let go, to give in to the pleasure that was overwhelming him.

You smiled as you felt his body tense up, knowing that he was about to lose control. You leaned in, your mouth right next to his ear, and whispered:

“That's it, my sweet boy. Let go for me. Let go and give in to me. I've got you, my good boy.”

He felt you press yourself even closer to him, your body moving frantically against his in a desperate search for your own release. He held onto you tighter, his hands gripping your hips as if his life depended on it.

“Oh God, honey,” he groaned. “You're so close, aren't you? You're so close, and it's because of me.”

You nodded, your breath coming out in ragged gasps as you felt yourself getting closer and closer to the edge.

“Yes, it's you, my sweet boy,” you panted. “It's all because of you. You're driving me wild, you're making me so hot, and it's all because of you, my smart, sexy man.”

His breathing was ragged and shallow as he felt you press your forehead against his, the frames of his glasses digging into your skin. But he was too far gone in the moment to care.

“You're so beautiful,” he mumbled, his voice strained. “So beautiful, and so hot, and I'm so close to losing it. I'm so close… So close…”

“I know,” you panted. “I can tell, my sweet boy. You're so close, but you're holding back. You're trying to be such a good boy for me, aren't you?”

He let out a low, guttural moan, his body tensing up even more as he felt himself getting even closer to the edge.

“I'm trying,” he groaned, his voice tight. “Oh God, I'm trying so hard. I don't want to lose it yet, I want to make you feel good first.”

You smiled, feeling a rush of affection for him even in this heated moment. You loved how much he was trying to make sure you were feeling good, how much he wanted to be a good boy for you.

“You're doing so good, my sweet boy,” you murmured, your mouth right next to his ear again. “You're doing so good, holding back for me. But it's okay, you can let go, my good boy. I want you to lose control, just for me.”

His body was trembling with the effort of holding back, but your words were starting to break him down.

“Oh God, honey,” he panted. “I don't know how much longer I can hold on. I'm so close, so close… Oh God, you feel so good, you look so hot, and I want to come for you so bad.”

You could tell that he was getting close to breaking point, that he was struggling to hold on any longer. But you loved seeing him like this, so desperate and needy for you.

“Then let go, my sweet boy,” you whispered, your voice low and sultry. “Just let go, and come for me. Let me see how good it feels to you, to lose control for me. You're my good boy, aren't you? My sweet, good boy?”

He let out a low, guttural moan as your words sent shivers down his spine. He was holding on by a thread, but your voice and your body against him were making it almost impossible to hang on any longer.

“Oh God, baby,” he panted, his voice strained. “I'm so close, I'm so close… Oh God, I can't hold on much longer. I want to come for you, I want to lose control for you, my sweet girl. I'm your good boy, I'm your good boy.”

He felt your breaths hitch as you teetered on the edge, and it only made him all the more desperate to make you feel good. He bucked up against you, trying to give you the friction he knew you needed.

“I want you to feel good, baby,” he panted, his voice strained. “I want you to come for me, my sweet girl. I want to see you lose control, just like I'm about to lose control for you. You're so beautiful, so hot, and you're all mine.”

You lost yourself in the sensations as he bucked up against you, and the combination of his body and his words was all you needed to push you over the edge.

“Oh God,” you gasped, your voice shaky. “Oh God, I'm cumming, I'm cumming… Oh God, my sweet boy, my good boy, my love, my everything… I'm coming…”

He felt you go over the edge, your words and your body sending him flying off the edge with you. His body contracted against yours, his grip on your hips tight as he rode out his release with you.

“Oh God, oh God, oh God… Oh God, you're so beautiful, you're so hot, you feel so good…”

You shivered through your release, your body trembling against his as you rode out your orgasm with him. When you finally came down, you collapsed against him, your forehead still pressed against his.

“That was…” you breathed, your voice rough and ragged. “Amazing.”

He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close against him as he tried to catch his breath. His body was still shaking from the intensity of his release, and he was having a hard time finding the words to express how amazing it had been.

“Yeah,” he panted, his voice low. “Yeah, it was… It was unlike anything I've ever felt before.”

He felt you giggle softly, and he realized that he could feel the wetness seeping through his pajamas. He felt a mixture of embarrassment and amusement, and he couldn't help but laugh a little as well.

“Yeah, I guess we made a bit of a mess, didn't we?” he said, his voice laced with amusement.

You pulled back a little and looked down between them, seeing the wet spot on his pajamas. You couldn't help but giggle again, a mischievous expression on your face.

“Looks like we did,” you said, your voice teasing. “Sorry about that, my sweet boy.”

He grinned, feeling a mix of amusement and affection at your teasing tone.

“Oh, don't apologize, honey,” he said, his voice playful. “I think I kinda like it, actually.”

tag list: @stuwniolo, @sturnobsessedwh0re, @matts-myloverboy, @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut, @lizzymacdonald06

[ruruvxz]

Or any Hanni fic would be great. Like domestic hanni would be extremely cute too.

“Anniversary”

Girlfriend!Hanni Pham x Fem!Reader

↳synopsis: Taking a well needed rest was everyone’s dream after a long week of slaving away on your desk, filling out spreadsheets and whatnot. And you were no expectation to that rule! But even if you yearned for that break, you couldn’t get it because of a house party you were invited to; that just so happened to be the same day as your anniversary you forgot about. Your poor girlfriend couldn’t take it any longer!

↳cw: swearing, neglectful reader, mentions of alcohol, jealous Hanni, fluff

↳wc: 2.6k

a/n: genuinely this has been marinating in my drafts for so long, I keep forgetting what I want to write. sorry it took quite a while to get back to this request but we’re all good! anyways hope you enjoyed!!

You felt awfully sluggish today, maybe it was the copious amount of tasks your awful boss assigned to you, or perhaps it was the looming fact that you agreed to party at some old high school friend's apartment. Not to mention the fact that you'd only have a few hours of rest at your apartment before having to get up again, you really could've just declined the offer but your friend needed you to be there, and you didn't want to be a flaker!

As you dragged yourself to your shared apartment with your girlfriend, you inserted the key into the door and snapped it open, letting out a loud grunt as you pushed yourself through it. Immediately coming inside you scent the pungent aroma wafting in the air, the trace getting more noticeable as you walk past the kitchen. Popping your head inside you see your girlfriend, Hanni, trying to cook up something. It was surprising since she usually wasn't the one to cook, nor come home before you.

From the look of her messily thrown-together bun, staying intact by a flimsy claw clip, she returned not too long away. Hanni looked a bit too fixated on what she was cooking that she didn't even notice you coming in, letting out an exasperated sigh you walked over to her. Rubbing her back while leaning over her shoulder, Hanni was a bit surprised her body jolted at your touch.

"Oh, your home!" She squealed, turning her gaze towards yours, her glasses almost falling from the bridge of her nose. "I'm making us dinner!" She smiled, looking back at the pan that was slowly grilling a few vegetables. You took the time to inspect all the work she put into constructing the perfect meal, and honestly, you were looking forward to her cooking.

"Thank you so much, Hanni, I needed this." You expressed your gratitude before she lifted a piece of broccoli to your lips, giving a little chuckle as you ate the broccoli without hesitation.

Sadly, as you munched on the green vegetable, you felt your phone vibrating in your back pocket, your ringtone filling both your and Hanni's ears. It wasn't all that uncommon for anyone to call you after you clocked off, but from the contact number it most definitely wasn't an innocently confused junior coworker, it was your friend. "Shit" you mumbled as you checked the time.

"I'm so sorry baby, I just realized I have something to do... I can't eat dinner with you tonight." You sullenly spoke, putting the phone back in your pocket, Hanni just gave you a distraught look. "I just remember I'm meeting up with Belle, she's having a get-together." Mumbling as you continued. You felt so awful but you already promised Belle— Hye-Won that you'd meet up with her, but your poor girlfriend was slaving away to make you both a delicious meal.

"Oh uhm! It's okay Y/N don't worry about it—, we can always have dinner another time" Hanni reassured, clamping her palm on top of yours; it felt so heart-crushing seeing your girlfriend reacting this way, but you already made a promise to a friend. "M' sorry baby, I promise we'll have dinner together next time... it's just I don't wanna let Hye-Won down."

"Don't worry about it Y/N! There's always next time." Hanni laughed weakly as she pulled her hands away from yours, breaking any contact she had with you to flimsily play with her food. Being the pushover she was, she couldn't get herself to protest against you, even if today was special, not only to her but also to you, to both of you. Today had marked your 2nd anniversary, a day which would've and should've been celebrated together in each other's arms, but that completely flew over your head. Technically it wasn't your "lovers anniversary" as per se, it was more like the day the both of you first met. It was a tad bit silly, you both met in the university entry week and kindled your friendship turned relationship from there.

But the story of how you met wasn't even the focal point, what was more important was the fact that unbeknownst to you, you had been subconsciously ignoring her the whole day. Whether that be this morning when you mistakenly abandoned her when you hastily got ready for work, greeting her with an empty apartment when she woke up. Or when you unknowingly lost your phone the entire day just to be greeted with multiple missed calls and messages from your girlfriend.

It was all too much, and Hanni felt as if she was losing you, what was she even to do? She can't confront you about it for fear of scaring you away even further, but if she continues to ignore the issue who knows what will happen? All she could do was cook you one of your favorite meals in the hopes that you'd fall back into her arms. And by the stare you were in, it didn't look like it was quite working; maybe it was doing the opposite.

Overwhelmed by the thought of you leaving her, her face scrunched into an unpleasant one, overthinking every minuscule detail, plotting different ways she could get you back. Even if you were dense, you weren't an idiot and could see the discomfort written all over her sweet pout. "You know... you can come with me if you want baby." You offered reaching your hand out to pinch her cheek, shaking it around a bit to tease her.

Hanni's eyes instantly lit up at the idea, maybe this could get her the perfect opportunity to get through to you, and maybe you'd leave your little meeting with your friends to have a proper date to celebrate your anniversary. "Really? I can?" She asked pushing her hair out her face as she looked up at you, practically jumping at the opportunity to spend a little bit of time with you. "Of course bun, I'd probably be bored out of my mind anyways." You laughed taking your hand off her cheeks to ruffle a bit of her hair. "C'mon' let's get going bunny— promise you'll like it, baby."

"Okay!"

This was a mistake. Everything about this "get-together" was a mistake. Hanni was under the presumption that this was a small little hangout with a bunch of close friends, but it could be farther from the truth. In all reality she was stuffed like a pack of sardines with a bunch of people she had never met, you told her it was a high school reunion but she didn't know half of your graduate grade would come. All of which you apparently "knew" somewhat, whether it was from mutual connections or you genuinely liked hanging out with them.

Whatever it was, you ditched her to go hang out with a bunch of pals you hadn't seen in a while, leaving her to sit on a crowded couch and socialize with three other girls she'd never met. Hanni's bubbly personality was only able to get her so far before eventually getting more and more drained as the girls got to talking more. Maybe it was because they kept talking about mindless topics or maybe it was because her eyes kept lingering back to yours. Your carefree attitude when you gave your devoted attention to the girl who was talking to you infuriated her more and more.

The girl had soft curly locks that reached to her waist, she was undoubtedly taller than Hanni and was a lot more different from her. Just the way she presented herself struck a cord within Hanni, especially when she was all so bold whenever she touched the hems of your shirt. The curly-haired girl's personality was oddly touchy, getting more and more bold as she rubbed your back and your arms with a soft giggle. The fact she was getting away with this and the fact you were so dense about this made your girlfriend bubble up with rage even more.

In your defense, you got more and more uncomfortable by the touch but were far too intoxicated to convey your message. Resorting to backing away slowly whenever she got too close, it was the least you could do as you knew your girlfriend could be here any time. As the curly-haired girl continued your conversation it took Hanni far more constraint, not to have had to pry the curly-haired woman's hand away from you. Although she was left on the couch watching from afar not saying a single peep to not stir conflict with someone she did not know about.

This didn't negate the fact that Hanni was still aggravated, to the point that she hadn't noticed she tightened her grip on the plastic cup, that it started to leave soft dents. Oh how she wished she could just chuck her drink at the girl next to you and drag you away, but she was better than that.

It wasn't until the curly-haired girl got a bit too handsy when she was checking out your necklace that Hanni got you for your birthday that she finally got Hanni to reach her tipping point. She threw the pillow that was resting on her lap back on the couch and excused herself from the conversation she was having with the other girls. Strutting over towards the both of you and wrapping her arms around your waist tightly. Making sure to dig her head in the crook of your neck with a pouting face. "What are you guys talking about..." Hanni whined playfully as her gaze burned into the woman's in front of her.

"Huh? Hey baby, she was talking about how much she liked the necklace you got me." You replied honestly, a bit oblivious to the girls glaring at one another.

"You must be the lucky girl, Hanni was it? I'm Aaliyah." The taller girl replied, tucking a strand of her curly hair behind her ear with a soft laugh. She took one glance at Hanni, before pulling her attention back at you, completely ignoring her presence before talking once more. Almost as if Hanni was just some close friend, then an actual partner for you; the conversation lasted for a bit before your girlfriend cut her off once more.

Her grip slid away from your waist and swung around your neck as she talked, grasping onto you tightly when she spoke. “So how about you? Has anyone been lucky in your life?” Hanni asked bluntly, a bit of a rude question from your point of view, but what were you to say about that? “No, not anyone I can think of right now,” Aaliyah replied irritated by her question using her free hand to fix your puka shell necklace, before Hanni used her arm to swat her away. The tension grew thicker as your slightly drunken state was standing right in the middle of the two girls.

It came to a point where both girls were having a sarcastic and bitter conversation about relationships, as you stood there, Hanni’s arms around your neck while another girl was flirting with your face. You were beyond embarrassed and just wanted to run back to the car and hide, but the way the conversation was going it didn’t seem like it. “That’s a shame you can’t find a good match, maybe avoid going for other people who are taken? I don’t know just a hunch.” She bit back, taking a jab at how out of all the people in this party she was flirting with her Y/N.

“You’re so right, sorry I didn’t see a leash on them.” She laughed and looked back at you and back to Hanni, the way Hanni wrapped her arms tighter after that comment struck a nerve with her. “Oh dear, why would anyone need to do that, maybe if people respected others there would be no need for that.” She scoffed, before releasing her grip off of you and giving her full attention to the snarky woman in front of her.

“Oh don’t be THAT insecure—“

“Don’t be like that Aly.” You finally spoke up, defending your girlfriend while your head pounded at the situation and the fact the music was oddly getting louder. “C’mon bun, let’s go.”

“Awh Y/N, we were only playing around!” Aaliyah responded rubbing her nape before looking at Hanni’s scorned expression, it intimidated her nonetheless. “You play too much Aly…” You responded looking back at Hanni, stroking her head before resting a sweet kiss on her flushed cheeks, explaining to her how Aliyah was just a friend who likes to tease other people’s partners for some sick reason.

“She’s an… oddball, that’s for sure, she’s just messing with you.” You laugh lowly, continuing to run your fingers through your girlfriend’s hair as she wraps her arms around your waist. It didn’t take long before you soon forced Aaliyah to apologize to your girlfriend before you left, it was a bit awkward, but they were both able to set the record straight. Finally making it back to the car and hurling yourself in the passenger seat to let Hanni drive back home, being the most sober one between the both of you.

The drive back was silent, but she still resented you for the fact you forgot your anniversary, once you both made it back to the apartment she quickly changed and headed to bed. You found it odd that she went straight to the bedroom without a mindless conversation or a sweet treat, so you quickly ran to her aid. Maybe something was wrong! (There most definitely was, she was on the verge of tears as she laid her head down on the pillow, hoping that maybe by some miracle you’d realize how much today meant to her. And how quickly you forgot her anniversary for the whole day.)

“Hanni, is everything okay? Why do you look so down?” You asked kneeling in front of her as she rested her head on the pillow with her eyes squeezed shut. She didn’t reply, as she just turned her head away from yours, looking to the other side to get some rest. “Don’t be like that, what’s wrong hun?” You asked standing up and stroking her arm over the covers, to give her some comfort, from the discomfort you didn’t know you caused.

“Anniversary.”

“What?”

“Today was our anniversary.” She cried as she rolled back over toward you, tears welling up in her eyes. You felt awful as you continued to rub her shoulders, you really didn’t know it was your anniversary today, and when you looked at your phone to clear your suspicions everything clicked.

“Hanni…”

“What.” She barked as she hid herself over the covers once more, hiding her crying face. “Our anniversary is tomorrow, not today.” You laughed as you pulled the covers away from her body to show her your phone with the date plastered on top of the time. Hanni’s cheeks burned red as she sat back up, apologizing profusely for the way she acted, as you laughed at the whole situation. Once she finally stopped apologizing you grabbed her and pulled her into your chest as you ran your fingers through the back of her hair. Spending the rest of the night in each other's arms before the clock finally struck midnight.

“Would you look at that?” You looked up at the clock, displaying a perfect midnight. “Technically it’s our anniversary today.” Laughing you nudged Hanni before she pushed you off playfully as she stared at the clock.

“Happy anniversary Y/N.”

“Happy anniversary Hanni.”

[ayeforscotland]

What is Dataflow? Part 2: Diagrams

This is the second part of a couple of posts about Dataflow, particularly why it's important for the world going forward and relating to the Crowd Strike IT disaster.

Read the first part here.

Before I get into this one today, I wanted to address a couple of things.

Firstly, Dataflow is something that nearly every single person can understand. You do NOT:

Need to have a degree in Computing Science

Need to work in IT

Need to be a data analyst / Spreadsheet master

If any of you see the word 'Data' and feel your eyes glazing over, try and snap out of it because, if you're anything like me, Dataflow is much more approachable as a concept.

Secondly, what do I mean by IT?

Traditionally in most of our media the all-encompassing 'IT department' handles everything to do with technology. But every business works differently and there are many job titles with lots of crossover.

For example, you can be an infrastructure engineer where your focus is on building and maintaining the IT infrastructure that connects your organisation internally and externally. This is a completely different role from an Application Portfolio Manager who is tasked with looking after the Applications used in business processes.

Both are technical people and come under the banner of 'IT' - but their roles are focused in different areas. So just bear that in mind!

Now that's out of the way, let's begin! This one will be a little bit deeper, and questions welcome!

An Intro to Diagrams

You probably do not need a history of why pictures are important to the human race but to cover our bases, ever since we put traced our hands on a cave wall we have been using pictures to communicate.

Jump forward in time and you have engineers like Leonardo Da Vinci drafting engineering schematics.

You get the idea, humans have been creating diagrams (Pictures) for thousands of years. Centuries of refinement and we have much more modern variations.

And there's one main reason why diagrams are important: They are a Common Language.

In this context, a Common Language helps bridge a language gap between disciplines as well as a linguistic gap. A Spanish electrician and a German electrician should be able to refer to the same diagram and understand each other, even if they don't know each other's language.

The reason they can do this is because they're are international standards which govern how electrical diagrams are created.

A Common Language for Digital?

Here's an image I've shown to clients from governments and institutions to global organisations.

Everything around us, from the products we use to the bridges we drive over and the buildings we live, work, enjoy and shop in had diagrams backing them.

You would not build a skyscraper without a structural engineering diagram, you would not build an extension on your house if an architect couldn't produce a blueprint.

Why is there not an equivalent for the Digital World and for Dataflow?

Where is the Digital Common Language?

This is the bit where the lightbulb goes on in a lot of people's heads. Because, as I mentioned in Part 1, the flow of data is the flow of information and knowledge. And the common mistake is that people think of dataflow, and only ever think about the technology.

Dataflow is the flow of information between People, Business Processes *and* Technology Assets.

It is not reserved to Technology specialists. When you look at the flow of data, you need to understand the People (Stakeholders) at the top, the processes that they perform (and the processes which use the data) and the technology assets that support that data.

The reason why this is important is because it puts the entire organisation in context.

It is something that modern businesses fail to do. They might have flow charts and network diagrams, and these are 'alright' in specific contexts, but they fall to pieces when they lack the context of the full organisation.

For example, here is a Network Diagram. It is probably of *some* value to technical personnel who work in infrastructure. Worth bearing in mind, some organisations don't even have something like this.

To be absolutely clear, this diagram will hold some value for some people within the organisation. I'm not saying it's completely useless. But for almost everyone else, it is entirely out of context, especially for any non-technical people.

So it doesn't help non-technical people understand why all of these assets are important, and it doesn't help infrastructure teams articulate the importance of any of these assets.

What happens if one of those switches or routers fails? What's the impact on the organisation? Who is affected? The diagram above does not answer those questions.

On the other side of the business we have process diagrams (aka workflow diagrams) which look like this.

Again we run into the same problem - This is maybe useful for some people working up at the process layer, but even then it doesn't provide context for the stakeholders involved (Are there multiple people/departments involved throughout) and it doesn't provide any context for technical personnel who are responsible for maintaining the technology that supports this process.

In short, nobody has the big picture because there is not a common language between Business & IT.

Conclusion

So what do we do? Well we need to have a Common Language between Business & IT. While we need people with cross-functional knowledge, we also need a common language (or common framework) for both sides of the organisation to actually understand each other.

Otherwise you get massively siloed departments completely winging their disaster recovery strategies when things like Crowd Strike goes down.

Senior Management will be asked questions about what needs to be prioritised and they won't have answers because they aren't thinking in terms of Dataflow.

It's not just 'We need to turn on everything again' - It's a question of priorities.

Thing is, there's a relatively simple way to do it, in a way that looking at any engineering diagram feels simple but actually has had decades/centuries of thought behind it. It almost feels like complete common sense.

I'll save it for Part 3 if you're interested in me continuing and I'll make a diagram of my blog.

The important thing is mapping out all the connections and dependencies, and there's not some magic button you press that does it all.

But rigorous engineering work is exactly that, you can't fudge it with a half-arsed attempt. You need to be proactive, instead of reacting whenever disaster strikes.

[forever-rogue]

Could I request some Eddie. It’s the readers birthday and Eddie gives her a mix tape of all her favorite songs. But instead of it being the original artist’s versions is Corroded Coffin doing covers?

AN | No but this is the sweetest idea?! Imagine getting this from Eddie! 🥰

Warnings | Language

Pairing | Eddie x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 2.8k

Masterlist | Main, Eddie 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Hey there birthday girl,” you playfully huffed as you walked into Eddie’s shop, finding at the counter, pouring over some spreadsheets. He wasn’t bothered in the slightest by your response, pushing everything away in order to give you his full attention, “you look pretty.”

“It’s not my birthday, Eddie,” you hopped onto the counter without a second thought and Eddie leaned in to kiss you, lips lingering against yours, “hi.”

“Hi almost birthday girl,” he hand setted on the back of your neck as he pressed his forehead to yours. You groaned softly; your heart was both so happy at how sweet he was and heavy because you didn’t want him to make a big deal of your birthday. You’d never really been a fan of celebrations or parties, but Eddie insisted on doing something to celebrate you. You knew that he would listen and respect your wishes, which was one of the many things you loved about him. He always saw you, even when you felt invisible, “missed you today.”

“I missed you too,” you promised, putting your hand on his shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze, "are you almost done here?"

"Yes ma'am," he tossed everything off the counter and onto the floor, causing you to laugh at his dramatics, "anything for you."

"Such a dork," you slid off the counter and held out your hand for him. He eagerly took your hand and brought it to his lips to press a kiss to your knuckles, “my dork.”

“And you’re mine too.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"Hey," you couldn't sleep and had spent almost an hour staring at the ceiling. You weren't sure if Eddie was awake but figured it was worth a try, "Ed?"

"Hmm?" He rolled over so he was facing you, eyes closed and a sleepy smile on his face, "what's wrong baby?"

"Nothing," you sighed lightly, relaxing when you felt him reach for your hand, "its just…its dumb."

"Tell me."

"You don't have anything planned for my birthday right? I don't want a big celebration or anything," you exhaled slowly as he squeezed your hand, "I just don't want anything big. I'd rather just have it be another day."

“I know baby,” he scooted closer to you and nuzzled his face next to yours on the pillow. You felt his lips kiss the tip of your nose, “it’ll be just like any other day. If that’s what my baby wants for her birthday, that’s what she’ll get.”

“Thank you,” you closed your eyes and snuggled up to him; he instantly wrapped his arm around your waist, “I love you Eddie.”

“I love you,” and with that, you allowed yourself to relax and give into sleep, “so much.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Your day at work had gone by without anything noteworthy happening. That would definitely have everything to do with the fact that you hadn’t told your coworkers or boss that it was your birthday. You knew that it was your personnel file somewhere, but you doubted anyone ever checked them. It still didn’t stop you from startling a few times and bracing yourself for the worst when your coworkers came up to you. But if anyone actually knew that it was your birthday, they didn’t comment on it.

Which was exactly what you wanted. 

It wasn’t that you were vehemently against birthdays or celebrating them - you loved helping friends celebrate. You just didn’t want to celebrate your own. At first it seemed like Eddie had been upset when you told him you didn’t want to do anything, almost like it was some sort of slight, but he quickly came around and realized that it wasn’t personal. It was just your preference, and he always wanted to respect your wishes.

The only issue you’d experienced all day was the fact that Eddie seemed to be almost completely radio silent. You knew that some days he was extra busy and didn’t have a lot of time to text, but it was strange to hear nothing from him. You’d seen him when he left for work as you were getting ready, and he’d seemed fine. But now you were almost worried with how quiet he was being; you hoped he was okay.

When you pulled up to the house, not a single light was on. Only the porch light flipped on as you walked up to the front door. But Eddie’s truck was parked in his usual spot which didn’t do anything to reassure you. You almost ran inside, almost dropping your key in your haste to open the door.

“Eddie!?” you made your way into the kitchen and flicked on the lights to have some sort of balance. 

“Surprise!” As soon as you flicked on the light, Eddie jumped out from the other side of the counter, blowing on a noisemaker with a little happy birthday hat on his mop of curls. You yelped in surprise and jumped back, clutching at your wildly beating heart. 

“What the hell, Edward?” you took a moment to catch your breath as you looked around to see if anyone else was in your house. But you didn’t see any movement or anything to suggest anyone was there. He came around the counter and threw his arms around you, pulling you into a big, warm hug. You relaxed into his touch and hugged him back just as tightly, burying your face into the crook of his neck. 

“Sorry baby,” he peppered kisses to the side of your head, rubbing your back soothingly, “I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought it would be a fun surprise.”

“Oh Eddie,” you pulled back and kissed him softly, “it’s definitely a surprise. I was starting to get worried since I hadn’t heard from you all day. I was hoping nothing happened, and then you had to go and give me a heart attack!”

“I was…I had to finish a few things up today on top of work so it was just a long day,” you could tell that he was being honest…but giving you all of the story. But you didn’t want to push him either - he always came around and told you the entire story, “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to be so absent today.”

“It’s okay - I’m glad you’re okay,” you took the noisemaker from his hand and blew into it loudly. That caused him to laugh, shaking his head fondly at you, “what’s all this for?”

“First of all, let me just say that I haven’t gone and planned a huge surprise party or anything. It’s just me and you,” his promise allowed you to relax, “I have a few things planned for tonight, if that sounds good to you.”

“Just you and me?” your voice was small as he beamed at you, big brown eyes bright and shining. 

“Just you and me.”

“That sounds perfect,” the idea of spending some time along with your love sounded like the best thing in the world, “what’ve you got planned then? Should I be concerned?”

“Not at all,” but yeah, there was still that little mischievous glint in his eye, “but first things first.”

He ran into the living room before coming back with another party hat and putting on your head. You couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled up as Eddie snapped a few pictures of the two of you. 

“I’ve ordered dinner from your favorite place - it’s on the way and should be here soon,” as if on cue your stomach started to rumble, “I didn’t think about asking if you wanted to eat at the restaurant, fuck! But I figured it might be nice if it’s just here with the two of us.”

“That sounds perfect,” you promised, “can we also change into pajamas and eat on the couch?”

“Blankets are already on the couch and I already put out the clean pajamas," he was such a sweetheart, always thinking of the things you liked. Your expression softened as he slowly started to usher you toward the bedroom, "but I think we have just enough time to take a hot shower before the food is here and we get comfortable."

"Eddie…I - this is wonderful," the way your face lit up was enough to make it all worth it. Truthfully he would have done anything for you, but then again, you would have done the same for him, "you didn't have to do all this though. Seriously."

"It's your birthday," he reminded you, "and even if you don't want a big celebration or want to make a big deal of it or anything, I want to do something special for my girl. I want to celebrate you. I love you, you know.”

“Yeah,” you blinked back a few tears that his sweet words had caused to spring up as you took one of his hands in both of yours and held it gently, “I love you too, Eddie. Thank you for all of this, it’s…wonderful. This is perfect. Are you going to join me in this shower?”

“Only if you want me to…”

“Of course I do,” this time you were pulling him to the bathroom, already trying to pull off your clothes in your haste to get into the shower. The two of you were fumbling around as you turned on the shower and tried to pull off his and your clothes. Hasty kisses were exchanged along with soft smiles and laughter; the two of you were just so…meant to be. That’s what Eddie always said and you didn’t disagree with him. It was all true.

“C’mon,” Eddie pulled back the curtain to make sure the water was warm enough for the two of you, “let me take care of you.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

By the time the two of you were on the couch, clean and in fresh pajamas with the remnants of dinner spread on the coffee table, you were already growing tired. The shower had been so warm and comforting, along with Eddie going down on you which he insisted was part of celebrating you, and the food was delicious. It all led to you feeling the tiredness in your bones as you cuddled with him on the couch, with warm and soft blankets covering the two of you. 

“Don’t go falling asleep on me, pretty girl,” your head was resting on his chest, lulled by the steady beating of his heart. You mumbled something in response as he pressed a kiss to the side of your head. 

“I’m not,” you insisted softly, badly stifling a yawn as you pulled back and blinked up at him with heavy, sleepy eyes, “just resting my eyes for a moment.”

“Mhmm,” he tenderly took your chin in his hand and turned your face up to his, “is that why you were snoring?”

“Was not!” your lips pulled in a playful little pout as you looked at him. He raised an eye but didn’t say anything, “I was just heavily breathing as I watched the movie.”

“Is that so?”

“Mhmm.”

“Alright then, what’s happened in the movie so far?” judging from the surprised look on your face, Eddie knew that he had you trapped. You opened and closed your mouth a few times before leaning up and kissing him. You figured if there was one way to shut him up it was through a kiss. He leaned into you, your lips still sugary sweet from dessert, “it’s not really an answer but I’m willing to accept that.”

“As you should, my love,” you managed to work your into his lap, snuggling up to him and wrapping your arms around his neck, “thank you for tonight - everything. It means the world to me - you mean the world to me.”

“Well, if you’re amenable, I have a little something for you - another little thing. But it’s actually tangible,” your eyes widened in curiosity as he nodded, “so…yeah.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” you loved him. You really loved him, “ugh, stop, you’re so disgustingly amazing.”

“Anything for you,” he pressed kisses to your cheeks, forehead, nose and stopped at your lips, “and I’m really excited for you to have it. It’s - can I go and grab it?”

“And just who would I be to say no?” you slid off his lap and cuddled up in the corner of the couch under both blankets, “I’ll allow it.”

“Be right back!” he almost jumped off the couch as he ran into the bedroom. You heard him rummaging around for a few minutes before he came back out, his arms behind his back, “close your eyes.”

You eagerly complied and made a show of squeezing your eyes closed and draping one arm over your eyes. Eddie snorted in amusement as he reached for your free hand and set something small and square into it. 

“Alright - you can go ahead and open your eyes,” as soon as you did, he watched your face go through several different expressions as you tried to figure out what the small wrapped item was. You pulled off the big, golden bow and looked at him, “go on - open it.”

You slid your finger under the messily wrapped paper - you loved that about him - and pulled out the item inside. Your face turned into a huge grin as you realized what you were holding - a mixtape. An actual, real life, mixtape. You weren't sure if you'd ever seen held one before.

“Eddie. Y-you made me a mixtape?” you felt the tears prick up again as he nodded excitedly, biting on his bottom lip.

“It’s not just any old mixtape either,” he watched as you turned it around and looked at the label, “it’s your favorite songs but umm, well, it’s all Corroded Coffin covers. I think it’d be neat you know to have something just your own, so yeah. I-I hope you like it.”

“Edward Munson,” you jumped up and quickly closed the small distance between your bodies, almost throwing yourself into his arms. He let out a nervous laugh, relieved at your reaction. It had been an idea he’d had for a long time, but it was never anything he’d actually planned on doing. Then one day, he realized just how much he wanted to do this for you. He felt your tears soak into the thin fabric of his t-shirt and gently rubbed your back, “this is the nicest and most special thing anyone has ever done for me. I love it. So much.”

“You haven’t even listened to it yet baby,” every nerve and worry he’d had about sharing this was relieved, “can’t judge it just yet.”

“I can and I will,” you took his face in your hands and kissed him sweetly, “I can’t wait to listen to it. I love this so much. Thank you.”

“Happy birthday baby,” he put his hand on your face and brushed his thumb over your cheek, “to this one and to many more. I love you so much.”

“I love you, Eddie,” you looked towards the old radio that was next to the vintage record player; Eddie followed your line of sight as his smile grew, “you’ve made this one of the best and most special birthdays ever. Can we give this a listen?”

“Oh, you don’t have to…are you sure?”

“Of course!” you bounced over and popped the cassette in, “and it’s still my birthday and this is one of my few requests. And that you dance with me.”

“What if it’s not danceable?” he took your hand that was already outstretched to him, as you pulled him closer.

“Then we’ll make it danceable,” you sighed softly as he kissed you, reaching behind you and hitting play, “you’re going to have a lot to live up to next year.”

“Don’t worry, I plan on surpassing even your biggest expectations,” he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close, “was this okay then? Nothing too much or not enough?”

“This was perfect,” you promised, “I couldn’t think of anything better. Best birthday ever.”

The new mixtape became a part of your regular rotation. 

It was your favorite gift ever.

[wannab-urs]

Outtakes - Monsterfucking

AO3 | Kofi | Main Masterlist | The Spreadsheet Masterlist

Howdy folks!

Here's a list of fics I've read where either the Pedro boy, the reader, or everyone involved is a monster of some sort.

Summaries and tags are, in most cases, provided by the author - please be sure to read them as some of these fics may have content you do not wish to read.

Pedro boys currently included are: Joel Miller, Ezra, Din Djarin, Dave York, Marcus Pike, Dieter Bravo, Jack Daniels, Frankie Morales, Oberyn Martell, Max Phillips, and Tim Rockford.

updated 5/24/2024

Demon

Met the Devil Last Night

Joel one shot by @pedgito

I made a joke about wanting to screw dirt-covered Joel even if he was deep in the trenches of hell and...well, yeah. This is pure filth and nothing else. Porn with minuscule plot, if you will

fem!reader, demon!joel, no specific age gap since dude is a literal demon, but reader is early 20s and I picture Joel to be his younger self (around 36), mentions of su*cidal ideations, this all a completely made up concept pls don't come for me about rituals, ect i will cry. virgin!reader, reader's father is a priest and horrible (just a total douche)/mother isn't alive, spitting, oral, unprotected piv, blood drinking, competency kink, innocence kink, mutual masturbation

In Every Lifetime

Ezra series by @xdaddysprincessxx

It’s fall of 1974 in your quiet small town of Chesterfield when everything falls apart. Or is it the beginning?

Reader is mid to late 20s, witchcraft, tarot, yes the witchy things depicted in this is real witchcraft things, use of Latin

Common Courtesies

Din one shot by @juletheghoul

Pride and Prejudice vibes but Mr. Darcy is a sex demon

**pussy-eating** language, age-gap (legal, reader is of age) dirty talk, supernatural elements, sexist society, sexist comments from readers father

Solum

Dave York one shot by @ezrasbirdie

Are you lost?" Your heart seizes with fear at the deep rumbling voice, head jerking to look in the direction it came from. It’s too dark. You can’t see anything. "Who’s—who’s there?" You ask, hoping you sound braver than you feel. "You didn’t answer my question,” it said. “Are you lost?' You swallow. You shouldn’t be here. You’ve never stepped foot in this building before today. You have no business here. But lost? No. You’re exactly where you set out to be.

SMUT, dubious consent [reader wants to be with him, but he's a demon so you know—it's a little influenced]—dead dove, this is horror and Dave York is an actual demon who kills people, graphic violence, body horror, a dash of blood kink, oral sex

Sell My Soul For You

Marcus P one shot by @absurdthirst

During girls night out, you accidentally dial your boyfriend, Marcus Pike. He hears you complain about how vanilla your sex life is and that you need to him to be more dominant. Marcus proves he’s willing to do anything to please you, even if the cost is his soul.

Angst, hurt feelings, demon possession, dominant!Marcus, oral (male and female receiving), face fucking, spanking, pussy slapping, spitting, fingering, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, bondage/handcuffs, anal play, double penetration (fingers and cock), soft aftercare.

Incubus

Crawling Back to You

Dieter one shot by @prolix-yuy

Have you no idea that you're in deep?

religious corruption kink, bastardizing prayers, brief drug use, mentions of alcohol consumption, grinding, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, breaking a hymen, descriptions of blood, biting and drawing blood, pheromone incubus anatomy, size difference/kink like whoa, monster transformation, monster fucking, PiV sex, wildly unrealistic sex, kind of dubious consent in the way that she has no idea what she's getting into so Dieter checks in A LOT, consent is sexy and monsters especially should ask for it, Reader has no idea what she's doing when it comes to summoning an incubus.

Dream Within a Dream

Ezra one shot by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

Your dreams have become the escape from your draining life. When you discover you are not alone in your dreamworld, will all the aspects lacking in your waking life be fulfilled by your handsome companion?

dream fucking, loss of virginity, depictions and deviations of supernatural lore, erotic gore

Cryptid

Mothman Fever

Joel one shot by @beskarandblasters

You and your friends head to Point Pleasant, West Virginia in late September for the Mothman Festival. And that’s where you meet Joel Miller, a fellow Mothman enthusiast. But once you spend some time alone with him you realize that he’s not who he says he is.

Smut, canon divergence, semi-public sex, alcohol, no outbreak, pet names (luna), oral sex (female receiving), vaginal fingering, PiV sex, sex pollen, dubcon, monsterfucking

Oh, Honey

Joel series by @lincolndjarin

you’ve been given a gift. a fresh start in a brand new place, the sleepy little town of Honey, WV. a distant aunt has passed away and left you a little plot of land and her camper, the stars must be aligning for you because the local mortician is looking for an assistant and you’re desperate for the work experience. your new employer even offers to set you up with her brother-in-law! things are looking up, you’ve got a brand new home, a new town, a hot date, (and thanks to a series of bear attacks that started immediately after your arrival) you have more than enough work to keep you busy!

Soulmates AU, eventual smut, teratophilia, graphic descriptions of violence, explicit descriptions of menstruation, graphic descriptions of the mortuary process, horror, depictions of extreme fear, body horror, graphic depictions of death, eldritch horror. this is a monster fucker fic, proceed accordingly

Sanguine

ˆEzra one shot by marisferasiop

since being turned as a boy into- whatever liminal state of cryptid he is now- Ezra has walked this earth ageless and alone, never finding his place or a partner for long. He interrupts your meal in the city one evening, and brings you home to strike up a deal; feed from him, alone, and keep one another safe from discovery. The fact that he finds his purpose under the soft graze of your teeth and home between your thighs is a nice side effect.

lots of blood, smut, soft yearning sweet boy Ezra, mapuche mythology and monsters, schmoop. Ezra is a subby little sap in this.

Tentacles

MDKT Sex Pollen

Joel one shot by @theywhowriteandknowthings

Your patrol with Joel goes a little sideways

Dead Dove Do Not Eat/DDDNI, noncon/heavy dubcon, body horror, tentacles, mouth r*pe, double/triple penetration, bondage, non-consensual bondage, choking, deep throating, pheromones, sex pollen, tentacles, mind fuck/mind break, brainwashing, guilt, trauma, trauma bonding. Let me know if I missed anything.

Taungsdays, am I right?

Din one shot by @theywhowriteandknowthings

You awaken to find yourself and Din in an alien position.

Smut, dubcon/noncon, pheromones, tentacle sex, bondage, mind-fuck, alien sex, unprotected PiV, anal sex, double penetration, dirty talk

The Stranger the Better

Dieter one shot by @seventeenpins

Dieter gets tentacles. That's the fic.

uhhhh this one has a whole lot: importantly--TENTACLES!, lots of viscous body fluids, slight dubcon due to tentacles with a mind of their own??, buckets of cum, piv, tiv 👀, dieter is a switch, sex parasite, anal, masturbation, body horror, idk they're freaks and it's great, reader has a vulva but gendered language is not used

Dragon

Promise

Ezra one shot by @criticallyacclaimedstranger

You are taken from you village by a dragon, and he has an obscene proposition for you.

Human/Monster Romance, Monsterfucking, initial dubcon (sort of a damned if you do damned if you don't deal), dragon fucks reader, Breeding, Oviposition, Stomach Bulge, PIV Sex, Loss of Virginity, Painful Sex, Cunnilingus, Fellatio, dragon!ezra is really good with his tongue, Squirting, All's well that ends well though, seriously I don't know how to warn for this fic guys, dragon biology is weird, DON'T LOOK AT ME! Light Bondage, drugging, pet names

Werewolf

Bad Moon Rising

Jack series by @wardenparker

When a handsome stranger called Jack shows up on your struggling ranch looking for work, you’re more than happy to take him in - and into your bed, as well.Death of a parent, loss of a spouse, general family drama.

Vaginal sex, oral sex, rough sex, Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy is basically a life motto here, Gunshot wound, first aid things, blood mention, raw meat mention. Vaginal sex, oral sex, rough sex, so much cum, size kink, squirting, anal play/ass eating, monster fucking.

Shifter

SNAFU

Frankie series by @theywhowriteandknowthings

You’ve done this thousands of times, brought new teams to heel, be it in Britain, Japan, Korea, yet the States are always the hardest to wrangle, the mixture of over-hyped masculinity, the general military bravado, whatever it was, you always ran into trouble. But nothing has ever come close to the new Shifter Charlie Team, and boy, are you in for the biggest challenge of your life.

Canon-Typical Violence, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Shifter AU, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, eventual Frankie x reader, former Jason x Reader, Smut, Fluff and Smut, Military, Porn With Plot, Slow Burn, Pack Dynamics, Pack Cuddles, Pack Building, Strong Female Characters, strong female lead

Alien

Kudzu

Ezra one shot by @beskarberry

a familiar stranger shows up at the doorstep of your infirmary with unfamiliar wounds. You're no doctor, but masquerading as one makes you the only one in the position to save his life. Can you win out against his extraterrestrial illness, or will his new abilities stake a claim in you as well?

NON-CON/DUB-CON, human/alien hybridization, forced breeding/impregnation/birth, rough/feral sex, sex pollen, body worship, cervix penetration, cum inflation, knotting, a wisp of a/b/o. Nonsexual: wound care and dressing, hurt/comfort, a little whumpish, shootouts, blood, dumb jokes, cheesy ending

Jizz Fingers

various boys series by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

An intergalactic creampie love story.

Smut, alternate universe, aliens, crack fic, penetrative vaginal sex, creampie

Mermaid

Rises the Moon

Joel one shot by @psychedelic-ink

As the man responsible for operating the lighthouse, Joel lives a solitary life on the isolated coast. He has no complaints, enjoying the hauntingly beautiful songs that echo from the sea at night. One stormy night, he rescues a mysterious mermaid tangled in a fishing net. As you recover in the lighthouse, the two form an unlikely bond and find comfort in each other's company.

mention of joel from time to time visiting a brothel, loneliness, mermaid anatomy things, oral (fem receiving), piv, touch starved!joel and reader, mild breeding kink, squirting

Swamp Creature

Beneath the Mire

Ezra one shot by @bonezone44

You're a human-turned-swamp monster and a man crashes into your corner of the bayou.

DDDNE, Non-con somnophilia. Blowjob. Unprotected p-in-v.

Vampire

Sated

Joel one shot by @softlyspector

Joel just wants you to eat well

love as being consumed, blood drinking, smut from start to finish (piv, f!receiving oral, fingering), Joel's praise kink, talk of eating, consuming, drinking, hunger, etc, vampires you get it.

Attraction Spell

Joel one shot by @jksprincess10

Vampire Joel finds witchy reader in her shop asks her for a love spell

DDDNE, noncon/dubcon, stalking, blood play, using blood as lube, ambiguous ending, unprotected p in v, fingering, praise kink, choking, pain kink, rough sex, minimal editing.

Bleed for me

Din series by @saradika

When it's revealed that the Mand'alor is seeking a companion, you find yourself among those hoping to be chosen. A life of luxury in exchange for your blood seems a fair trade - even if you're hiding a closely-kept secret. One that would certainly put your life in danger.

vampires, alternate universe, canon divergence, blood/drinking blood, shared memories, angst, death/violence, biting, body worship, possessive!pleasure!dom!din, implied aphrodisiacs, mind meld, praise kink, oral, piv, marking

The Special One

Joel one shot by @toxicanonymity

You meet a handsome stranger on a night out with friends. The last thing you're expecting is to be chained up in his basement.

Smut, age gap, alcohol, drugging and kidnapping, chains/restraints, blood and its consumption, oral sex (female receiving), period cunnilingus, dubcon, held in captivity, reader can menstruate, male masturbation, vampire!Joel, alternate universe, dark!Joel

Vampire!Dieter

Dieter one shot by @chronically-ghosted

Interview with a vampire, gatsby style

flirting, a bit of blood, maybe dubcon due to The Thrall but i think it's safe to say we all want It from vampire!dieter, unbeta-ed because i needed to write something or someone was going to die

vamp but it's you

Everyone at this party's a vampire

Dieter one shot by @idolatrybarbie

"you look so pretty like this."

briefly discussed necrophilia, innuendo, heavy petting

Sanguine

Ezra one shot by @marisferasiop

since being turned as a boy into- whatever liminal state of cryptid he is now- Ezra has walked this earth ageless and alone, never finding his place or a partner for long. He interrupts your meal in the city one evening, and brings you home to strike up a deal; feed from him, alone, and keep one another safe from discovery. The fact that he finds his purpose under the soft graze of your teeth and home between your thighs is a nice side effect.

lots of blood, smut, soft yearning sweet boy Ezra, mapuche mythology and monsters, schmoop. Ezra is a subby little sap in this.

vamp but it's everyone

a court of fangs and foxgloves

Oberyn/Max P one shot @psychedelic-ink

After you left the court and hence Oberyn, no one is eager to forgive you for your betrayal. Especially those closest to you.

Smut, MMF threesome/orgy, voyeurism, mlm dynamics, Dom/sub dynamics, sub!Max, switch!reader, dom!Oberyn, rimming, ass play, anal sex, penetrative vaginal sex, biting, mentions of blood, vampirism

I Bite Back

One shot by me

Max Phillips is seemingly always in command, always domineering, always on top… except when he’s with you.

Dom!Reader, Bratty Sub!Max, pegging… duh. This is technically monsterfucking also lmao. Aftercare is implied because I'm implying it here, I didn't write that in. Oh also vamp!reader if you want but I don't really make that explicit

Red Right Hand

one shot by me

You and Max have dinner and then you get freaky. It’s almost too much for poor little Maxxie to handle.

Pure porn, pwp, Blood drinking (they’re both vampires), minor character death (your victim lol), murder… obviously. sub!Max, Dom!reader, unprotected PiV (they’re vampires, you are not), uhhh blasphemy probably, face riding, cum eating, Max’s vamp face, oral m! and f!receiving, overstimulation m!receiving, multiple male orgasms, refractory period nonexistent due to vampire fuckery, ass play m!receiving, praise kink, use of pet names/titles (Mistress for reader/ baby boy, pet, Maxxie, and one surprise for Max), aftercare, no use of y/n.

Only Lovers Left Alive

Joel Series by @atinylittlepain

He offers her another option between life and death. How could she refuse?

Smut, dubcon, gore, blood and bloodplay, dark themes, cowboy!vampire!Joel, set in the past, alternate universe

vamp but it's max phillips

With Cherries on Top

series by @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa

After countless late nights and giving up important things in your life for a job and a man that refuses to promote you, your family begs you to quit when you break it to them that you have to miss your grandmother’s 85th birthday. Max Phillips may have left the country an American citizen but he came back an undead vampire, meaning his status in the States is no longer valid. In order to not get deported to Romania, he tells immigration that the two of you are getting married and he strikes a deal to make it worth your while.

Smut, language, adult themes, sexual innuendos, workplace harassment, family issues, angst, hurt/comfort, manipulation

A Little Lipstick Never Hurts

Reader/Max/Dieter series by @max--phillips

Max tries to skip his morning inspection, but gets caught breaking one of the rules you set for him anyway. A punishment is in order. / Max realizes a fantasy, and you enlist Dieter Bravo to help you deliver. / You receive a very hot video from your boyfriends while you are at work. The making of said video requires Max to break some rules you'd previously set out for him. He and Dieter make it up to you very easily.

Forced Feminization, but it's consensual, Femdom, Chastity Device 24/7, D/s dynamic, Sex Toys, BDSM, reader referred to as Mistress and Ma'am, Impact Play, Riding Crop, Bondage, Anal Fingering, Pegging, Butt Plugs, Degradation, Deepthroating, face fucking, gagging, spit, ruined orgasm, Nipple Clamps, Cum Play, Cum Eating, Oral Sex, Aftercare, there is NO misgendering, Max's ass does get referred to as his pussy and his dick his clit, but that's as far as that goes, MMF, threesome, PIV, double penetration, cock cages, ball gag, choking, max is a vampire, blow jobs, sex tapes, cum swapping, rule negotiations, fluff

Reflective

series by @prolix-yuy

His management style is effective AND refreshing. And as his executive assistant, you’re partially to thank. But as your professional relationship blurs, are you getting too close to the middle manager monster of nightmares?

horror elements and themes, graphic descriptions of blood including drinking, background character un-death, violence, fingering (f-receiving), vomiting (not descriptive), descriptions of a panic attack, a dabble of sleazy coworkers, playing fast and loose with vampire lore. mirror shenanigans, fingering (f-receiving), oral sex (f-receiving), PiV sex (don’t be a fool wrap your tool), playing fast and loose with vampire lore.

Lust for a vampire

one shot by @idolatrybarbie

A lot of oddballs and strange characters visit a vampire strip club in a tourist town on the border. Max Phillips is unlike any of them.

Smut, mentioned drug use, background sex work, dubcon, supernatural stalking, blood, pussy slapping, orgasm denial, spit, physical altercation, vaginal fingering, pet names (sweet thing, honey, sweetheart)

The Impaler

Tim Rockford/Max/Reader one shot by @kiwisbell

Chief Detective Tim Rockford makes a breakthrough in New York City’s latest serial killer case. The mysterious culprit is in the mood to share more than information.

vampires, gothic architecture, slightly dubious consent, implied mind alteration/control, murder, death, blood, threesome, lots of biting, spanking, spitroasting, masturbation, DVP, fingering, unprotected PIV (wrap ur vampire dicks pls), wife sharing, free use kink, oral sex (f and m receiving), exchanging fluids, spitting, disgusting and filthy, max using cringey nicknames for reader’s pussy but it’s charming bc it’s max, handcuffs, light bondage, hair pulling

I cannot get you close enough

one shot by @leslie-lyman

“You have to invite me in, sweetheart.” Oh. Right. Vampire. “Come in, please,” you say demurely, and Max’s smile widens as he steps over the threshold into your apartment. He reaches for you again immediately, kicking your door closed and pulling you close. “Good girl,” he murmurs. “Such a polite little Omega.”

A/B/O dynamics; one small scene of men being creepy and threatening towards reader (but, perhaps surprisingly, one of those men is not Max); extremely self-indulgent Halloween costumes on the part of your author; a bit of angst; fEeLiNgS; absolutely way too much plot and character backstory for what was supposed to just be porn; Alpha!Max is his own warning; heat sex; biting; blood-drinking; breeding kink; many, many creampies; Max has an absolutely filthy mouth; look, it���s heat sex with Max, it probably (hopefully?) entails exactly what you think it does

All Mouth

one shot by @idolatrybarbie

max phillips and prompt no. nine— "you look so pretty like this." with a twist!

reader is not American/not an "American vampire", porn with mild plot, pet names (honey, baby, sweetie, Maxxie), all the usual vampire genre warnings, including but not limited to - graphic blood and gore, cannibalism, mention of scars, horror themes, love as consumption, smut - mommy kink, degradation (max gets called a slut), cock slapping, dacryphilia, orgasm denial, handjob, alcohol mention, fluff.

It Will Come Back

Max Phillips one shot by @beskarandblasters

Against your better judgment, you let Max drink your blood.

reader is able-bodied, blood sucking, unhealthy dynamic between Max and reader, fingering, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, creampie, pet names (baby), dark ending kinda???, idk maybe a little out of character for him but fuck it we ball, no use of y/n

Crawl

one shot by @proxima-writes

Gym owner Max Phillips offers to let you use the sauna. In return, he uses your mouth.

explicit sexual content (18+ MDNI), no use of y/n, able bodied reader, dirty talk, crawling, oral (m receiving), no aftercare, semi-public sex.

Happy Reading!

[wifetomegatron]

You said it was more convenient to post requests here, so here it is again:

I loved the "meeting the family" storyline very much. Can we get a First Contact fic of you trying to hide your relationship from your family (since theyre robo/phobic or youre embarrassed) but one day your family spots you getting out of a car they don't recognize and you have to explain that your bf wasn't in the car... he WAS the car.

Either with Rodimus, Chromedome (and Rewind), or... IDK, your choice really

sorry for the long wait, dear ! this made me think out of the box and experiment a little so I hope you enjoy it <3 thank you for being my first official request !

rodimus meets your uptight parents. first contact au. sfw (only few suggestive themes -ish).

" I commanded a ship. I went on a quest — well, that was before Earth. But, I mean, that's impressive, right? "

" Babe."

" I killed a sparkeater. I have Drift to testify, and Magnus, and two hundred others —"

" Roddy."

" I also carried the Matrix !"

" Rodimus, please !" You huffed, placing a hand flat against the dashboard: the metal underneath was stiff with tension. Your lover slowed down for the red light, rubber crunching against the pavement. Outside, the weather was clear — sunny without a cloud, and people poured out into the streets, crossing the zebra and laughing in the distance. It made you even more miserable. Sensing this, Rodimus took it upon himself to give the seatbelt across your body a small, reassuring squeeze.

He cleared his intake, static over the radio.

" I'm only nervous because you're nervous. And you're never this nervous."

" Sorry, “ You felt guilty already, “ I didn't mean to interrupt your little crisis but I’m sure you'll talk yourself to death before the anxiety can kill you ."

" Do you blame me for being nervous?"

A cold, heavy feeling dropped into the pit of your stomach. And the silence was back again, an unusual and uwelcomed guest in the home you and Rodimus have built. The reason that you were out today was that your parents had called — rousing you from what could have been the perfect start to a lazy Sunday, courtesy of Rodimus and his very, very talented mouth — to remind you about the brunch appointment you were supposed to attend an hour ago.

Panicked and already out of your boyfriend's arms, Rodimus couldn't quite understand how this was scary enough to make you spring out of his embrace and into a pair of pants — he emphasized how disappointed he was at how you were already dressed this early in the morning, on a weekend, no less.

Until you looked at him dead in the optics and whispered, “ They want to meet you too.”

That was enough to make him run for the garage.

You had warned him about your parents earlier in your relationship — at least, attempted.

" It's my parents," You had explained then, albeit the memory was fuzzy due to alcohol. All you remembered was that it was hard to stop Rodimus from doing anything when he was tipsy and flirty and running his servos all over your body.

“I’m sure they’ll like me,” He had smirked, pushing the topic aside and already sinking on his knees, “ Everyone likes me.”

That felt like ages ago. You’ve been delaying the subject, and today it has come back to finally bite you in the ass. Now, thanks to traffic and terrible skills at reading the GPS, you were two hours late to meet your parents and might as well be on death row.

“It won’t be so bad, right?”

You winced.

It took a while for you to explain to him that ‘picky’ was just an easy way of explaining to strangers that they were painfully traditional. Having been raised in a very small upper-crust bubble within an even smaller community, their obsession with keeping the family closed off was almost archaic: your father actually has a spreadsheet as a criteria board for what counts as a ‘compatible’ match. It was Eurystheus and Hercules all over again, except you wished the challenge was slaying a nine-headed hydra. It was something Rodimus could come out of alive.

Because no one has ever lived up to the insurmountable, one hundred and thirty-five-long list of requirements that would make someone worthy to be dating his only child. What was once a fun little fact you always used as an icebreaker at parties became an actual threat to the one person who's made you the happiest in a long time — and he's not even a person. He's an —

" — aliens, I’m guessing, never made it on his list, so I'm sure I'd be in the clear. Right?"

" Hold that thought, I think I see them," You peered over the driver’s seat and out the window as Rodimus pulled up to the sidewalk. It was adjacent to a terrace filled with tables, already crowded with people. Live jazz was playing behind the curtain of conversations, and you spot your father through the glass doors, checking his watch before crossing his arms. He didn’t seem too happy, leaning forward to whisper something inaudible to your mother’s ear.

Rodimus seemed to notice this.

" Uh, just go inside. I'll...catch up with my holoform."

From time to time again, you suggested that Rodimus get tinted windows. And if he had, for a second, thought about its practicality instead of calling you rude for assuming that you implied he could get them installed by the local car dealer, then maybe your father wouldn’t have spotted you.

“He’s coming this way,” You squeaked, combing your hair and quickly trying to make yourself look decent.

“Oh. Frag.”

A cluster of lights formed next to you, pixelating themselves to create a holographic image of what your boyfriend claims to be his persona if he were human. You weren't sure how to tell him that your father would immediately recognize Michael J Fox from Back to the Future. So you placed a firm hand across the dashboard to make him stop, shaking your head and confirming: this was it.

This was the moment you finally decided to fight for the person — not a person, he'd correct you — that made you feel alive. Feel loved. And you have to fight for that, even if it comes in the form of standing up to your up-tight, silver spoon, helicopter parents in the middle of the sidewalk and attracting the attention of over twenty people and a handful of Instagram influencers trying to peacefully take a picture of their bed of smoked salmon and caviar, then so be it.

" You better have a good explanation for this."

You sucked in a deep breath, trying to keep your chin up in defiance as you duel your father in a stare-down.

" It's time for me...to make my own decisions. And that includes who I decide to love. And be with. And date."

" Does he come with the tardiness?" He bit back.

" Oh, give them a chance to speak !" Coming at your defense was your mother, wringing her hands with worry and yet already peaking to admire the vehicle behind you, " Does he… come with the car, perhaps?"

You swallowed, the metal beneath your arm humming in distress,"You can say that."

Your father almost looked impressed. Almost. Suddenly you can't even hear the background music anymore, as if even the musicians had placed down their instruments, and are now rapt in attention at this showdown.

" What does he do?"

" He was a captain," The car roughly inched forward, “Is still, a captain. He’s just not on duty…at the moment.”

There was a murmur of appreciation from the nosy spectators.

"Where is he from ?"

" He's from... far away."

" Oh, lovey. I do love to travel," Your mother smiled, stiff and on the edge of exploding like a poorly timed confetti canon.

" Yes, but I don't think it's...that beautiful at this time of the year."

You lost your voice, suddenly compressed, as if you were a bottle of coke inside a sixty-second tikTok reel, ready to be crushed under the weight of an industrial metal press machine. You can tell Dad's already trying to work out what year Rodimus was manufactured in — vintage you'd joke, but it doesn't seem appropriate to condense lightyears into a punchline. Plus he wouldn't approve of the age gap.

" Let's see him. Tell the boy to step out of the car."

You steeled yourself as the sound of metal gears grinding and transforming flooded the area. The Earth lightly shook beneath you as Rodimus stood at full height, seemingly erasing any other noise from a five-mile radius like a black hole.

Someone dropped their teacup, the ceramic shattering in the distance.

“ Hi. Rodimus, here.”

It was safe to say that your mother only started to warm up to Rodimus in the waiting room of the hospital, when she had the chance to talk to the mech as you all waited for your father's discharge from Emergency — thankfully, Rodimus was quick enough to scoop him up as he fainted, so no traumatic head injury that had a one in five thousand chance of taking out the stick up his ass.

Surprisingly, your mother was already somewhat impressed: The former title of one-year Prime, his paint job, his humor.

Baby steps, you smiled to yourself and watched your mother drape an arm across Rodimus as she laughed at his joke. Baby steps.

[walkingstackofbooks]

Today had been sponsored by Maths™️

And DS9, but that's just every day...

I sorted every episode in DS9 into whether it was:

"Julian-heavy" (main ensemble or more; approx. 40-170 lines),

"moderately-Julian" (ensemble; approx. 17-45 lines), or

"Julian-light" (barely there; usually <25 lines)

And also by how much I liked it:

Green band: 1st ("FAV FAV FAV") and 2nd ("SO GOOOOOOD")

Yellow band: 3rd ("real strong, I like it a lot") and 4th ("solid. possibly a bit weird. but good.")

Orange/red band: 5th ("a bit eh") and 6th ("Nah.")

And then stats happened on the interesections of such things! I haven't done all the maths I want to, but today I've learnt:

> My statistically favourite season is S3, with 85% of episodes in the green band (35% of them 1sts), followed by S7 with 80% of its episodes there (40% of them 1sts!). > Season 1 had the highest proportion of Julian-heavy episodes (37%), despite having 0 Julian-as-sole-protaganist eps. Season 3 was next with 31% of Julian-heavy eps. > 61% of my very favouritest episodes are Julian-heavy. If an episode is Julian-heavy, then it also got itself a 1st or 2nd rating. 110 episodes -- 64% of the series -- got a 1st or 2nd. In contrast, only 4 episodes got a 5th or 6th rating! Turns out I really fricking like DS9! 🤣

> In most seasons, 90-100% of episodes that were moderately Julian or more were rated 1st or 2nd. (S5 and S6 are the exceptions). > Season 6's "Change of Heart" is the only moderately Julian episode to be given a 4th -- every other moderately Julian or more episode got at least a 3rd. > Green-band Julian-light episodes tended to be Kira or Sisko episodes, or whole-ensemble, ends-of-season/two-parter type dealios. > Season 5 has the lowest percentage of green-band episodes (42%). It is also the series in which Julian speaks the least, at an average of 22 lines per episode. Seasons 3 and 7 by contrast have averages of 34 and 36 lines per episode!

... So I do have to conclude that, while I don't *need* Julian to be in an episode for me to love it (45% of my green-band episodes are Julian-light, after all), if an episode or season wants to be well-loved by me, it definitely helps to have a Julian around!

And, um, maybe I didn't need to spend a good 8 hours of my day doing maths to work that out? But hey, I had fun crunching numbers!

(Take a look at my fun spreadsheets!)

[aeor-is-for-reccing]

Happy Birthday, Aeor is For Reccing!

One year ago today (give or take a couple hours), we published our first rec list. To celebrate, I (Opera) have prepared some stats. A little bit like a reccing wrapped, only with a smaller budget and being less creepy about your data.

But thank you to everyone who has recced, every one who has read the reclist, everyone who has reblogged, everyone who has kudosed, to @professor-rye and @theusualjasper, and everyone who helped along the way.

I'm glad we've gotten this far!

To start: We've had 685 recs, 478 fics, 210 Authors, 53 reclists and 43 themes.

Most Recced Authors: (1) Mousecookie - 25 recs (1) royalgreen - 25 recs (3) SaltCore - 21 recs (4) hanap - 15 recs (5) kmackatie - 14 recs (5) Chrome - 14 recs (5) Firefright - 14 recs (8) Mlle Kurtz - 12 recs (9) road_rhythm - 11 recs (9) MinnesotaBruja - 11 recs (9) LuckyOwlsFoot - 11 recs (9) MarsBar2019 - 11recs

Authors with the most fics recced: (1) royalgreen - 18 fics (2) SaltCore - 13 fics (2) hanap - 13 fics (4) Mousecookie - 12 fics (5) kmackatie - 10 fics (5) LuckyOwlsFoot - 10 fics (7) Firefright - 9 fics (7) Jakia - 9 fics (9) Professor_Rye - 8 fics (9) Mlle Kurtz - 8 fics

Fics recced the highest number of times: Hard Mouth and The Hole in the Stone, both recced 8 times Fic recced the most number of times for a single theme: In the Closet of Our Discretion, by Firefright for Cultural Differences (recced 4 times) Longest fic recced: Dappled Shadow and Penumbral Light by Professor_Rye (463,977) Shortest fic recced: Of Constellations and Freckles, also by Professor_Rye (100 words) First fic Recced:  Stay for a Spell by Palebluedot Latest fic Recced: Uncharted Waters by EmpressofWizards

Word Cloud based on what people like about the fics:

Most common content note: Choose Not To Warn Number of Series recced: 16 Percentage of Hidden Gems that are No Longer eligible (have over 150 kudos):  48% (check them out!) Number of Images Rai has Used: 27

So what's next?

Well, the absolute next thing is that sometime this week I'm going to post the reccing spreadsheet for everyone to see - if people want to look through old recs, they should feel free to! Then there's the ideas I had from the survey a few months ago - chief among them was making it easier to import information from AO3 (you'd still be able to rec fics that can't be imported or on tumblr, I'm just trying to remove some of the hassle) I'm still doing research on the best way to make that happen, and kind of selfishly want to do it myself - but it's been a busy couple of months for me.

Speaking of which - I'm having surgery in a month! A double masectomy and reconstruction on February 19 (roughly equivalent to top surgery (masculinizing)) and February 20th (roughly equivalent to top surgery (femininzing- fat grafting)). Kind of like they're turning my chest on and off again - a ctrl-alt-deteat, if you will. Anyway, I don't want cancer, but everyone I've talked to about this has said the stomach incision is worse than the chest incision, and nobody's ever described top surgery as a walk in the park. I'm planning on doing absolutely nothing for six weeks, and @theusualjasper will be taking over during that time.

Anyway, here's to another year! Thanks to everyone who has participated or helped along the way, you're all great. Even you <3

[avatar-anna]

Hey I've had a rly rly bad day :( I'm about to breakdown down n trying to do things to distract myself.. would you mind writing a little fluffy blurb about h comforting reader ??? You don't hve to if you're busy :))

hey! i'm sorry you're having a bad day. here is the fluffiest blurb (w a little bit of angst bc reader has to be crying for some reason) enjoy! 💕💕💕

.

You never knew how little you put yourself first until today.

All your life you considered yourself a compassionate person. Reliable. Dependable. Someone friends and family could count on. And you liked being that person, you liked that you had a prominent role in the lives of the people you loved and cared for most.

And if carried over into your work life too. You were constantly working overtime, saying yes to projects that your boss or co-workers prefaced with, “I knew just the person to come to for this!” And that made you feel valued. Important.

Until today.

You were already behind on a project because one of your co-workers asked you for help with theirs, and without asking why, you agreed as usual. But your own was already kind of kicking your ass and you had a million other things going on outside of work that needed your attention. You really weren’t sure why you couldn’t say no this time. You had valid reasons, yet you still tacked on more work, more stress (and not more pay, either).

“Hey, Y/n, how we doing in here?” your boss said, knocking on the open door of your office.

“A little stressed, but what else is knew?” you said with a smile. It was your normal response, but this time there was a little edge to it you hadn’t expected.

Not even noticing, your boss moved on. “Good, good. I was wondering if I could ask a favor? Our partner office from Hong Kong is coming next week, and I thought who better to show them around than our hardest worker bee?”

He said it with a smile, like it was an honor to be asked such a thing, but all you could say in reply was, “Both of my projects are due next week.”

With a quick look around the room, you saw that you were one of the last ones in the big office space. Either your co-workers took their work home or didn’t have as much to do as you did, and for the first time, that irked you. Why couldn’t your boss ask any of them when you were clearly drowning in meetings and phone calls and spreadsheets and ten minute lunches?

“I know you’ll make it work,” he said, as if he hardly even heard your response. “So you’ll do it?”

“I...”

Tears sprung out of nowhere, perhaps the stress of a task you hadn’t even accepted already weighing down on you. There would be no time, no time for yourself, or anything or anyone other than work.

“I’ll think about it,” you finally said, hoping that your boss would ask someone else in the meantime.

“Well, I kind of need an answer now—”

“Then no, my answer is no,” you blurted, standing up from your desk to pack your things. “Not only can I not do it, I don’t want to do it. You have so many people that work here that could do this for you, and even though you knew I was up to my ears in work, you asked me anyway. So no. I will not be able to help you next week.”

Your boss floundered a bit. At your outburst, or that you said no, you weren’t sure. He probably hadn’t thought to ask anyone else, had just expected you to say yes. And that once would’ve made you proud, but now you absolutely despised that.

“Well, I mean, this might affect your promotion,” he said, a last stitch effort to get you to say yes.

Could he really not see you were on the verge of tears? Or that you were in the same clothes as yesterday because you fell asleep in your office last night? Or did he just not care?

That promotion was dangled over every project, every favor, every little thing you did at work. It was the reason you did so much. You worked hard, and you wanted a paycheck that validated that. But if your boss took one refusal as a reason for you to not get a promotion, when so many of your co-workers turned things down left and right, then...

“Fuck your promotion,” you said before you could filter your words, then hastily left your office, not bothering to look your boss in the eye.

Tears wanted to fall as you rode the elevator, as you got behind the wheel of your car, but you swallowed them down, pushing them away for later.

A minute into driving, your phone rang, your cousin’s name popping up on the screen on your car’s dash.

“Hey! How’s it going?”

You didn’t have it in you to be chipper. “I think I just lost my job.”

“Oh...Well that’s—Are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” you said with a shrug.

“Great! Well, I was just calling to ask if you and H have locked down a date for the wedding,” your cousin asked.

With a raised brow, you said, “We sent out save the dates three weeks ago.”

“Right, but my wife and I booked a cruise before you and Harry even got engaged, and our flight to get to port is on the same day as the wedding. You see where I’m going with this, right?”

You did, but you were so furious that you said, “I don’t, actually.” You needed him to say it, to admit what he was asking for.

“Well, you know, since we booked this cruise before you and H got engaged, we were wondering if you could change the date. Move it up or something.”

“Or something,” you said, voice completely devoid of emotion. What would that even mean?

Did you really accommodate so much that a family member was asking to move your literal wedding day for them? Did people really expect you to bend over backwards like that?

The answer was yes. You put so many people first, that you’d become the default, friends, families, co-workers were practically on autopilot when asking for favors, you doubted they even tried to come up with solutions themselves at this point.

“So tou’ll do it?”

You were surprised when you started laughing. Not a giggle, but a full-bellied laugh. Maybe it was exhaustion, maybe it was the ludicrous favor your cousin just asked you, or maybe you’d finally snapped. Your cousin was still on the other line waiting. Because despite what clearly was a nervous breakdown, he was still expecting you to do this for him.

“Shove it up your ass and don’t bother coming to the wedding,” you said when your laughter subsided, then promptly hung up the phone.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Harry was on the couch when you got home, watching one of his crime shows he loved so much. He smiled when he saw you, the reaction almost involuntary, but it faltered when he got a better look.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, turning the TV off and coming over to you.

“Bad day. Really bad day,” was all you said, voice empty.

“I’m sorry, lovie. Do you want to talk about it?”

You shook your head, and Harry took that as his cue to pull you in for a hug. He was much taller than you were, so you were completely engulfed in his soft sweater and the fresh scent of his cologne. You sighed, your shoulders sagging as he squeezed you, as if he was trying to wring all the stress and sadness out of you.

After a couple minutes, Harry let go, but only to look down at you. “So I’m thinking that as your fiance, I need to make you feel better.”

“Yeah?” you said, a small smile forming on your face. Harry seemed to be the only one who put you first, or realized when you needed a break.

“Yeah, which is great because I bought stuff at the store to make that dish you really love. The one with chicken and the red sauce? I just need a little help with—”

“You need help?” you asked, smile immediately turning into a frown. “Like a favor?”

Confused, Harry said, “Well, it’s not really a favor, I just need—”

“And I just need people to stop needing me! Why can’t anyone understand that? I give, and I give, and I give, and I never ask for anything in return, so people keep expecting me to give. Well, I have nothing to give anymore. I‘m—I’m...”

You pulled away from your fiance and stormed upstairs, locking yourself in the bathroom the two of you shared. Your were breathing as if you’d just run a marathon, unable to get a sob out before the next one came over you. Tears were hot on your cheeks, and you knew if you looked in the mirror your face would be an angry shade of red. Sliding down to the cool tile floor, you curled in on yourself and just cried.

You weren’t sure how long you’d been sitting like that, how long you stormed away from Harry. If you had the ability to think rationally for a moment, you would’ve realized that he wasn’t trying to use you or take advantage of your kindness. He didn’t even know that asking for help would’ve triggered you like this (you didn’t either, to be fair). But he just happened to be the person you blew up at, and while it wasn’t fair, you couldn’t exactly take it back.

Not that you could, at the moment. You couldn’t stop crying. No matter how much you tried to steady your breathing, or how much you thought you got out of your system, you just kept crying. So much so that you didn’t even hear Harry knock on the door the first time.

“Lovie? Can you unlock the door? Please?”

You didn’t answer, hoping that would be answer enough.

But he persisted. “I hate hearing you cry all by yourself. Will you please let me in? Let me help you, lovie.”

The sobbing stilled for just a moment, long enough to stand up and unlock the door for Harry. He opened it immediately, but you didn’t see his face before he pulled you against him again.

You didn’t know how long you stood there like that, how long you cried in Harry’s arms while he smoothed his hand down your hair soothingly and kissed the top of your head, waiting patiently until you let it all out. When you finally did, he wiped the remaining tears from your cheeks with his thumbs. You didn’t know what to say or what to do. You knew you had to do something, explain, apologize, change out of day-old clothes, something, but Harry thankfully spoke first.

“I think you need a long, hot shower.”

While you got undressed, Harry turned the water on and made sure it was the right temperature. You thought he would leave after that, but he began shedding his clothes too. You wanted to ask what he was up to, but you couldn’t find the words.

He led you to the shower and stepped in behind you. Once you were under the stream of hot water, he leaned down to kiss you, his fingers delicate as the held the side of your face. “Just relax,” he breathed, kissing the top of your cheekbone before turning you around.

Something like excitement stirred in you, even though you were much too exhausted for sex currently. But that wasn’t Harry’s intention. You heard the familiar squirt of the shampoo bottle behind you, and before you could utter a single word, Harry’s fingers were in your hair, massaging your scalp and working the shampoo into a nice lather on your head.

It was the greatest feeling, your fiance’s hands applying the right amount of pressure to make it feel soothing. Your eyes closed involuntarily, a small sigh leaving your lips as he combed through the ends of your hair. Harry repeated the process for conditioner, then body wash, and even a body scrub and the hair oil you applied after getting out of the shower. He did it all himself. You didn’t lift a finger.

At some point, as the steam and Harry’s fingers and the lovely scents of all the products used on you, you managed to find your voice. “I...I think I lost my job today,” you said, then proceeded to tell him everything. You left nothing out, not a single detail, and Harry didn’t say a word, just listened to you recount your day, and all the frustrations that came with it.

You were in a fluffy pink robe by the time you finished. Harry stood behind you while he combed your hair, careful not to hurt you with each knot he de-tangled. Only when you were obviously done talking did he say something.

“I’m proud of you,” he said, moving your hair aside to kiss your jaw.

“Really?”

He nodded. “I...I’ve noticed that you go...above and beyond for people, but family can be a touchy subject for you, and I didn’t want to upset you by implying that your family relies on you a little too much. But after hearing all of that, I can’t help but think I should’ve said something sooner. Why didn’t you tell me about work?”

“I just thought I was working hard,” you said.

It was true. You never really complained to Harry about work or let on how much you were actually doing. And maybe it was subconsciously because you knew he felt a certain way about how your family treated you. If you looked back, you could see moments where his caution manifested. Cancelling a date or two to pick someone up at the airport, running late because a family member called you at the last minute asking for a favor. It was almost like your life wasn’t yours anymore, it was everyone else’s.

“I’m sorry,” you said after a long stretch of silence while Harry finished combing your hair. “For letting all of that affect our relationship and for earlier. I wasn’t mad at you, I promise.”

“I know,” he said. He kissed your jaw again, letting his lips linger this time. “Nothing to be sorry for.”

You felt like there was, but Harry didn’t seemed concerned about it, just concerned about you.

He went through your skincare routine, applying everything to your face with gentle fingers. With each cream and serum, he kissed you. On your nose, your cheeks, your eyelids, the corners of your mouth. Every inch of your skin was sealed with a kiss and the mumbling of, “I love you.”

Harry helped you dress in cozy clothes—your favorite sweatshirt of his and your softest sweatpants. And when he was done he led you downstairs where a pot of something was waiting on the stove.

“I didn’t know how to make the red sauce,” he admitted. And you blushed at the way you exploded at him for that. He wasn’t asking just because he was lazy or wanted you to make dinner for him, he just needed a little help.

As if he could read all the thoughts swirling in your mind, he kissed your rouged cheek. “But no matter. I made macaroni and cheese for us. Straight from the box.”

“Sounds delicious,” you said. And you meant it, just appreciative that he did so much for you.

Harry served you and poured you wine. He talked about his day and the cute dog he saw while stopping for coffee, all the while holding your hand. And when you were both done, he sent you upstairs to relax while he cleaned the kitchen, threatening to haul you up himself when you tried to take your bowl to the sink.

It was weird to lay in your bed and do nothing. Usually you worked or tried to get some things done for the wedding, but tonight, you just laid in bed and watched some reality show on the television mounted on the wall that faced your bed.

Harry came up a little while later, two mugs with something steaming in them in his hands. He handed on to you and kissed your forehead before setting his down on the night table on his side of the bed and sliding in next to you. You set yours down too, cuddling into his inviting warmth.

You immediately found a comfortable position, tangled in a way that said he wasn’t letting you stand up for a single thing, except for maybe using the restroom. Harry’s cheek was squished against yours, his hand tracing delicate patterns on your stomach while he kissed you whenever he felt like it. It was the most relaxed you’d ever been, you thought. The most at peace.

“I love you,” you whispered, his hands and warmth and endless supply of kisses lulling you to sleep.

“I love you too. Now go to sleep, lovie.

To be taken care of. To hear the promise of Harry doting on you now and the rest of your life in his voice was enough to put a smile on your face as you did just as he said.

[marvelwhore2023]

BLACK WIDOW SERIES

Natasha Romanoff x GN Reader

- enemies to lovers

- angst

- trigger warning panic attacks , anxiety

Part 1 / Part 2 - 👇

It was six in the morning, and you were catching the subway into the city to your job at Black Widow, an up and coming designer brand .

You sipped your coffee and prayed today went smoothly . There was a team meeting which you knew was just going to be your boss , Natasha Romanoff, demanding everyone , mostly you, to do better.

She had it out for you and you were certain of it , anything she had a problem with.. it was now your problem . You swear you'd be an alcoholic from stress if you had the free time to drink but most nights you stay until early morning working on anything she needed ..you ran around like a puppy on a leash for her and you weren't even her damn assistant

You were Creative Director , so seasonal themes , staff hire and apparently natashas personal punching bag were all your responsibility at this company .

As you pushed through the heavy glass doors to the building , Wanda at the front desk gave you a sympathetic smile

"she asked for me didn't she" you sighed , already feeling that bit anxiety in the pit of your stomach start to rise

"She did ...she told me to tell you to go to her office as soon as you arrived" Wanda replied sheepishly "it's okay Wanda thank you"

You didn't bother stopping off at your office on the way to leave your bag and coat because anymore time added on to however long Natasha was already waiting for you would just be a pain in the ass for you .

*knock knock*

"Come in" Natashas voice rang through her office . You opened the door and walked through , closing it gently behind you . You told yourself you would stand tall and refuse to let her bully you but as soon as you seen her stern stare you broke .

"your late" she spat

you quickly checked the clock on her wall to be certain which you were that you were actually early ..

"Im actually early , I don't start till seven fifteen" you replied confused , looking back to the redhead who raised an eyebrow and looked you up and down in distain "your aware you work with a designer brand right ? yet you come to work everyday looking like a washed up hobo"

You usually took pride in the way you looked and your style ,  sure it wasn't everyone's cup of tea but you enjoyed expressing yourself through clothes , that's why you got a job in fashion but it was making out to be far harder to deal with than you thought

"fix it" Natasha added , crossing her legs and leaning back into her chair "was there something you needed me for" you asked , choosing to ignore her jab at your style and to redirect it to the reason she called for you

"yes , these spreadsheets are disastrous.. we are not doing a fashion show in Milan in the middle of winter" you furrowed your eyebrows together not exactly understanding what she was rejecting "but the faux coat line will be on the runway , it goes with the theme I mean you hardly want to buy a faux winter coat in hot weather-" your ramble was cut short by her slamming the folder down onto the table

"I said change it" she demanded sternly

"with all due respect natasha I can't just change-" her second time to interrupt you

"I didn't ask Y/N ! now are you going to do it or do i need to find someone who is better equipped for the job!" she scolded .

"no , I'll do it" you caved , agreeing to change the whole venue to a whole other country for a show that's in less than a month "good , now get out of my face" Natasha shooed you out of her office with her hand and you felt utterly embaressed like a child after being scolded by a teacher in school ..her assistant Maria heard every word and gave you a small smile of support as you walked passed .

You fell into your office chair , you could already feel the tears rising but you refused to let them fall , you were sick of the way she treated you and its only gotten worse over the last few weeks , when she first started she barely even looked your way and now she was at your heels every second of every day , even when you were home she was sending you emails about work things .

Your deep breathes were interrupted by one of the designers , Tony. 

"Sorry, Y/N , we finished the next piece if you would like to take a look at it ?" He offered , peeping his head around your door "yeah , yeah sure I'll be there in a second" he nodded and left you , giving you a couple seconds to write down today's agenda on a sticky note and slap it on your laptop

'change everything'

Multitasking was something you grew good at , while helping Tony decide on finishing touches you were ringing venue's to see where was available on such short notice for such a big event "what if we do linen lining so even in autumn it can be worn?" Tony suggested "that's a great idea , everyone hates having to buy different coats so if we make it suitable for mild to cold weather , not too warm for cooler months and not too thick for colder months , perfect get on that we will discuss it more in todays meeting" you agreed and left to continue calling venues

Sitting down to your desk you could see an email from Natasha and it was all the countries and venues she did not want which was nearly 90% of the ones you had available

"oh my god" you sobbed , letting the frustration get the better of you . You ran your hands over your face and held back the urge to scream .

Three hours .

That's how long it took to find the perfect venue and organise eveything so it was to Natashas standards which were out of this world high .

Meeting time approached and you hadn't even had lunch yet , luckily it was just the team involved with the show wrapping up all the technicalities and finalising the important stuff , knowing you had your end sorted didn't help ease the anxiety in your stomach because Natasha could easily refuse this venue too .

You swallowed down the bile that rose to your throat and took your seat at the big table in the conference room , people filtered in , taking their seats and engaging in small talk . You sat at the end of the table which faced Natashas at the front of the room .

When she entered the table went quiet "afternoon everyone , let's make this quick I have else where to be"

Of course she does , you thought to yourself as you opened your folder "Tony had completed forty seven out of the fifty two pieces , we decided going with a linen lining for the last five to accommodate the warmer months , James has the guest list sent out to all the major news outlets and invites have been received by everyone's management , your pilot is prepared for any weather changes or layovers and has the greenlight from the airports to enter-" you were just about finished when she interrupted you . You took a breathe for the first time since you started talking , slightly shaking at the thought of what she was about to say

"sounds good but uh let's scrap the linen lining , it's a winter line they want the coats to be warm ..that's the point is it not" Natasha teased and if she was nice you would consider it playful but it was just downright rude , a couple of people at the table chuckled politely at her obvious attempt at being funny but it didn't suit her and their laugher made you see red , the audacity was just unbelieve and you snapped

"nothing is ever good enough for you" You spat under your breathe ,rolling your eyes but Natasha along with a handful of people caught it , Natashas eyes widened slightly but she controlled herself until the end of the meeting

"That all sounds good , everyone dismissed , Y/N ..my office now'" she snapped

Oh god

You followed Natasha to her office , she held the door opened for you , letting you walk in first before she closed the door behind her and unleashed the beast on you

"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME INFRONT OF EVEEYONE LIKE THAT"

"how dare i" you scoffed , rolling your eyes again

"STOP DOING THAT , DO YOU HAVE ANY RESPECT I MEAN COME ON Y/N YOU CANT EVEN DO YOUR JOB RIGHT AND NOW YOUR TRYING TO CHANGE THE LINE ? WHAT KIND OF IDIOT ARE YOU!"

You partially zoned out on Natasha screaming at you, the anxiety and anger fighting each other to see which bubbled to the surface first and it must've been your unlucky day because it was the anger

"ALRIGHT !" you screamed back , Natasha was so taken aback she shut up

"I am sick and tired of how you bully me ! eveything I do for this company  , every fucking hour I spend in this office losing sleep and not eating so YOUR designs are up to your standard and YOU CANT EVEN TREAT ME WITH HUMAN FUCKING DECENCY" your rant had slowly turned into sobs , your voice broke several times while shouting at Natasha and although your pretty sure snot was rolling down your lips you continued to shout , your voice becoming raspier with every sentence

"you..you belittle in infront of everyone daily and everyone is so scared of you so they never say anything but you are a horrible boss , you are cold and stern and you care for nobody but yourself" you continued .

Natasha stood , frozen almost watching you completely lose it infront of her and she was the one who drove you to it .

"Y/N.." she whispered but you ignored her attempt to interrupt you , if you didn't get it out now you never would , you wiped the snot and tears from your face and continued "I don't know why you even keep me here if I'm so terrible at my job , I mean if I can't do anything right just hire someone else ! because I am sick and tired of how you make me feel and i-"

Natasha was becoming impatient being unable to get a word in edgeways with you so she shouted at you "BECAUSE I CANT!" you stopped once you seen how Natashas demeanour changed , she seemed frazzled and upset

"I can't fire you because I can't stand not seeing you everyday" she started " and I can't stand being around you because everyday you come in and your chatty and polite to everyone and you have this stupid gorgeous smile on your face and all I want to do is be in your precence but I can't because I'm supposed to be the boss and I have to be stern and in charge and I'm jealous okay ! I'm jealous you can dress how you want and do what you want and be free from this job once you go home"

Natasha was now standing infront of you , her own eyes glassy "but those are just bigger excuses for the real reason why I'm so terrible to you , I'm falling for you and I tried not to , to stop it or to even be as mean as I could to push you away but even then I can't shake these feelings and it frustrates the life out of me , i feel like a love sick teenager and i hate it "

You stared blankly at the red head "so you've been terrorising me for the last month over a stupid crush" you repeated making sure you had this right "yes ..and y/n I am sorry"

You laughed , you actually laughed out loud uncontrollably for a few seconds until you caught your breathe , Natasha looked at you   slightly confused until you stopped and spoke

"I would never like someone as horrible as you" You spat angrily "you have caused me absolute misery the past four weeks and if you want to fire me because your embaressed one of your staff finally talked back to you then by all means do it , I'm sure I could find somewhere far nicer to work"

Natasha shook her head and stepped backwards out of your space "no your not fired ..your free to go" you didn't even bother with her anymore and left , letting her office door slam on your way out.

[britt-kageryuu]

Donnie is working on some little bipedal turtle 3D models. He explained it was for a new game idea he had. The audience was kinda confused, because Donnie was already still working on his other games project. So they asked.

"Hmm? I see a good portion of the chat today are not part of that Discord. In short, the game is basically done. We're just going through a rigorous bug hunt, and one other issue before release." Donnie switches the screen to show a menu screen.

On the menu screen is three 3D anime style girls in typical poses, but then it glitches slightly so the girls eyes are now purple with some symbols in them, before going back. Also on the screen is a little dragon like stuffed animal that moves between the girls. The game title is 'Stream Restore!' in changing font so that it matches each girls aesthetic.

"For those you don't know this is Stream Restore, the game in question. I won't go into detail because I might spoil something. The main reason, other than bugs, that we haven't released it yet is mainly distribution. And maybe some localization issues. But most how do we distribute the game to others."

Donnie switches to a screen with a spreadsheet of pros and cons of different places that indie developers can sell their games from.

"Clears Throat. As you can see, we're going over the different, would the word be publishers?, sites that you buy the game from, you can see we even have a note of just distributing it ourselves from our store, but it's still a bit of a holdup." Donnie stops to take a drink from a cup that reads 'Spare Battery Juice'.

"Anywho, that is for a different day. What I want to focus on is seeing how well I can put together this new game. It's going to just be a little 'Cozy Game' thing. Though it's going to be based on our backstory. Let me bring up the-" Donnie pauses and turns to look slightly down at something.

"Hello. How may I help you, little lost one?" Donnie quickly mutes his mic before anything else can be heard.

The audience can see that Donnie is talking to someone, and even grabbing his phone to call someone. But they're going a bit nuts with wondering what is going on.

Then Donnie, without un muting, switches the screen to show a game environment that resembles a defunct underground train station with fairt lights strung all over. He then starts to add and move around little pieces of furniture. Then adding one of the little turtle models and had it walking around the environment.

For the next few minutes Donnie is moving things around and changing colors, and switch out the turtle with a salamander, and then started to dress up the model.

He pauses again, and looks up towards someone likely Raph and talks with them shortly before they left, and Donnie un mutes his mic.

"Sorry about that. Red is watching Stars sibling again, and they keep wandering off during games. And apparently they like the studio because of the random stuff we leave sitting around here." Donnie pauses to look behind himself at the studio, "We should clean up a bit in here, some of this stuff is a potential tripping hazard... but that is for later. Now let me actually explain what I was just doing while entertaining my potential younger brother-in-law."

The next bit of the stream is just that. Going over various ideas for this little game, and possible plans. All while purposefully ignoring those who want to know more about the 'brother-in-law' comment.

---------------

Masterpost

I feel like I'm just gonna start having Donnie talk about game ideas I have, but no idea how to make them, or if they're possible.

[farity]

Obsession, part 14

"What is happening?"

Helaena watched Aemond grab his guns with one hand while texting with the other.

"Bolton went to her office. She was picking up her stuff."

Aegon walked behind his brother, a sniper rifle strapped to his back. "Looks like I might get to use this baby today."

"I'm getting mom," Helaena said, putting down her yogurt and racing up the stairs.

* * * * *

"I fucking knew it. I knew I should have gone with her. I should have fucking-"

"Stop it!" Aegon snapped. "You can't be with her 24/7, plus she wouldn't put up with it."

Aemond turned to his brother, eye sharp with fury. "You're an expert on my wife now?"

"Fuck off, twat."

"Tell me, what's she doing right now, is she terrified for her life and wondering if she can trust me when I say I can keep her safe?"

Aegon groaned. "You're insufferable. You can't control the world, Aemond!"

Aemond muttered something under his breath that sounded to Aegon like I fucking should, but stayed silent as he drove to his wife's former place of work.

Beside him, Aegon tried his best to appear confident, but he knew that if anything happened to his sister-in-law, Aemond might not recover. He might not survive it with his sanity intact.

Whatever's left of his fucking sanity, fucking control freak.

And Helaena. She would go back to being a timid little shit who spent hours on her spreadsheets and lists and drawing bugs or whatever shit she did instead of starting to blossom as she had lately.

He stopped himself from thinking about how he would react if anything happened to Aemond's wife. As much as he loved Helaena, he didn't understand half the shit that came out of her mouth, but his sister-in-law, he'd had a couple of good conversations with her. She saw through his bullshit and was still nice to him. Probably how Aemond had fallen for her. Because fallen for her, he had. Fucking moron probably didn't even realize it.

It is I who studies history and philosophy, he mimicked Aemond in his mind. Yeah yeah so fucking smart, can't even tell when he's in love. Fucking twat.

If he got his hands on that fucking Bolton bastard, he'd gladly hold him down while Aemond flayed him alive.

* * * * *

"Aemond Targaryen. It's been a while. I'm here with your charming wife."

"I want to speak with her," Aemond said, parked outside the office building.

Ramsay laughed. "Oh no, you don't get to call the shots, boy-o, let me tell you what's going to happen."

"Don't do it, Aemond!"

Aemond's heart nearly stopped when he heard a gun go off after his wife's scream, but then he heard her cry out, "stop shooting her, she's already dead!"

"Next one goes in your gut, pretty girl," Ramsay said. "You are very pretty," he said.

When there was a sound of disgust from his wife, Aemond had to smile. She wasn't cowering. She wasn't pleading for her life. She might be terrified, he admitted, but she hadn't frozen in fear.

"You're going to annul this marriage and marry one of the Baratheon girls."

Aemond laughed out loud, rage going all the way to his fingertips.

"And I'm going to take your wife with me to make sure you do what I say. Because if you don't, she and I are going to have some fun."

He listened helplessly as there was a small struggle, then he heard her screaming again. "Don't you fucking agree, Aemond!"

"I'm coming out with her now. We're going to get in my car and you're not going to try anything or she gets a new hole in her head."

Aemond had parked in direct view of the main doors, but a couple of rows away, by one of the many trees in the parking lot. He had enough cover and the perfect angle, but when he saw the door open he still felt his heart sink.

Bolton had one arm wrapped around her, crouching a little so his head was next to hers, and as Aemond checked his watch, he saw the numbers slowly crawling up.

Good.

He was using her as a human shield, hiding himself against her as much as possible, and he heard Aegon's softly whispered, "fuck".

He crouched down, taking in as many details as he could. Bolton had his gun against her temple. She had a red mark on her cheek, but otherwise seemed unharmed. She wasn't making it easy, dragging her bare feet and throwing her weight around.

That's my girl, he thought to himself. She had to know that Bolton wanted her alive and healthy if he was going to use her as a bargaining chip.

But then Bolton slapped her, and Aemond felt his vision go red with rage.

"Steady," Aegon whispered in his ear.

Fuck steady, Aemond thought, and ran towards his wife.

* * * * *

You saw him then, coming out from behind a tree, and your heart sank. Ramsay Bolton straightened up and began to turn, to aim his gun at Aemond, and you shoved against him with all your might, your feet stinging from the gravel as you pushed. The bullet went high and then you were falling, Bolton's weight bringing you down, your sight blurry as you hit the ground.

There were two more shots, Bolton twitching with each one as you began to crawl away. There was something on your face and when you wiped a hand across your eyes, it came out covered in red.

You felt strong hands lift you off the ground and turn you around, and then you were staring at Aemond, who was turning your head this and that way, squeezing gently down your arms, then sides and hips to ascertain that you were okay.

A car pulled up and you tensed, your fingers digging into Aemond's sweater.

"It's Helaena," he sighed. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you? I know he hit you."

"I'm fine," you managed, before Helaena crashed into you and wrapped you up in a massive hug.

"Hel, what have I said about following me?"

Helaena didn't respond, simply kept her arms around you and you felt tears begin to gather in your eyes.

"You're going to step on him," Aemond warned, and Helaena turned around, looked down at Ramsay Bolton, and kicked him twice. "Clean up," he said, tapping his earpiece. "Let's go home. Where's Aegon?"

"I got the kill shot, baby!"

You turned to see Aegon strutting over, silver hair sparkling in the sunlight.

"I got the kill shot," Aemond corrected.

Three men, including the two that Aemond had sent with you, came around. "We got all of his men, boss," one of them said before Aemond nodded and placed an arm around you to guide you to his car. "We'll clean up. Cops won't be here for another ten."

You stumbled, the pain in your feet sharper now that the danger was over, and when you turned one over to look, there were little cuts and scrapes all over the sole.

"Come on," Aemond said, lifting you in his arms.

"I can walk, Aemond!" you protested.

He ignored you and kept walking to his car. "I know, I've seen you do it."

* * * * *

He'd called ahead to the housekeeper to have the fireplace on and some hot tea. She'd started to shiver on the drive home and gone very silent, and when he tried to remember back to a time when violence and guns had frightened him, he realized he couldn't.

Carrying her into their home, he noticed her hands and feet felt like ice, and took her all the way to their bathroom, took her into the shower himself, let the hot water warm her.

If anything, she started shaking harder, and he ended up sitting on the shower floor with her, letting the heat of the water slowly seep in. He began taking off her clothes and she let him, raising her arms when he took off her sweater. There was blood on most of her clothes, on her skin, and he held her close while he soaped up the washcloth and scrubbed the red spots on her hands and face. He was careful when he went over the two marks Ramsay Bolton had left on her cheeks, felt his face alight with anger when he saw the scratch near her eye, probably from the ring Bolton liked to wear. The ring he had reportedly taken from his father after murdering him.

He slipped off the leggings and underwear, slowly took off her bra, and held her with the water beating down on the back of her neck. She wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face into his skin.

"I'm sorry," he said, over and over. How many times had he said it. How many more times would he have to say it.

"I was so scared," she finally said.

He brushed her hair off her face, "I know, I'm-"

"When I saw you burst out from behind that tree I thought he was going to shoot you."

He blinked. "You were scared for me?"

She nodded. "Yeah, and then he started to aim and I had to stop him bec-"

He pulled her against him, his mouth crushing hers, the thought that she could have possibly been frightened on his behalf one he had never considered.

There was a gentle cough at the door frame. "The tea is ready, sir."

* * * * *

"Thank you for everything," Aemond said, his gaze still on his wife.

"Is there anything else I can do?"

He looked up at the older lady and shook his head. "No, thank you, we've got it."

"We are all very glad you are safe, ma'am," she added before leaving.

"Thank you," his wife called out. "Aemond, I can barely move."

He brought the cup to her lips. "You don't need to move, you just need to let me take care of you." She sipped at the sweet, floral scented tea, closing her eyes at the delicate taste.

He'd wrapped her up in a fluffy towel, then in his own heavy robe, since hers was lighter and shorter. While she sipped at her tea and protested that she could do things by herself, he tended to her feet. There were a few scratches and a couple of cuts, but nothing worse, and he thanked every single of the Seven for the fact that she was almost unscathed.

"Do you want to go to the main house for dinner? I know everyone wants to see that you're ok, but if you would rather stay here, I will let them know." The fireplace had warmed her up, the bloom coming back to her cheeks.

She held the tea cup in her hands for a moment. "I think I'd rather go see everyone, if that's okay." When he nodded, she pulled him down to her and placed the cup aside. "Thank you for taking care of me."

He couldn't look at her just then, knowing that he was taking care of her only because she'd been in danger because of him, because of House and family bullshit. He nodded again and made to pull away but she held on.

"Aemond."

"Hmm."

She shrugged off the robe and he couldn't help but look. The towel had become loose around her and as she moved, it fell to her waist. "I want you to make me forget."

He didn't move, eye on her breasts.

"Please."

He looked up then, reached up to cup her face, tamping down on the anger that resurfaced when he saw the marks Bolton had left on her. She didn't need his anger right now. He kissed her jaw, her cheek, brushed his lips gently over the bruises and drew her down to the nest of blankets he'd placed her on.

When she sighed, he kissed her neck, the hollow beneath her throat, back up to her shoulder. "You're so beautiful," he whispered against her skin. "So precious to me."

When he closed his lips around one nipple she arched against him, her fingertips going up and down his arms as he settled his weight between her thighs. He let go of her breast, going back up to kiss her lips. "So brave. So very, very brave."

He shoved down the sweatpants he'd put on after their shower, kicked them off and reached down to guide himself. When he started entering her, she sighed, and he kissed her again. "I would burn down the world for you," he murmured, and filled her completely.

He pulled back slowly, drawing a soft moan from her, and pushed back, feeling the feather light fluttering of her around him. She wrapped her legs around him, her mouth reaching up to his, and he let her take him, let her tongue push in and explore, let her hands tighten on his hair as her hips rocked.

She let her head fall back when she came, the heat of her pulling him along as he let her take him into the darkness.

* * * * *

"He killed her so easily," you said, "she was nothing, just something he used to get to me."

"Did she have family?" Aemond asked.

"An ex-husband she was still in love with. We should let him know."

He nodded, holding you closer. "We will let him know." He kissed your temple, nuzzled your cheek. "How are you, really?" he finally asked.

"How did the guard know the cops were still minutes away?"

Aemond took a deep breath, and looked at you.

"Do you own the local police?"

He smirked. "I wouldn't say we own it."

"Aemond."

"We have a lot of influence over major institutions throughout Westeros."

You rolled your eyes at him. "You own the local police."

"I didn't say that."

"Look, I just need to know. If I'd met Ramsay Bolton out and about somewhere I would have had no idea who he was. I can't live like that, not knowing who is after us."

Aemond nodded. "Fine. We should all talk about what's going on, anyway. I'm sure Helaena has made a spreadsheet about it."

"Come on," you said, standing up from the sofa. "Let's go to dinner."

* * * * *

He watched her while she slept. She was curled up on her side, facing him, her breathing steady.

She was alive, and she was whole and healthy.

He kept reminding himself of that, while the guilt of being the source of the danger she'd been in to begin with wouldn't let him sleep. The knowledge that she'd chosen him, again and again, despite knowing what he was, what his family was, overwhelmed him.

When she'd mentioned having self-defense classes he'd instinctively balked at the idea, but she hadn't backed down and he figured he could get her the best instructors, instead of having her go to some random idiot who could get her injured.

She sighed in her sleep and reached out for him. He felt her small hand on his arm, placed his hand on top of hers. He wasn't worthy of her. Wasn't worthy of her love, that was certain. He didn't know why she wanted him, why she loved him, but it sure as hell wasn't working out in her favor. She'd lost everything she owned, she'd been attacked by a psychopath, she'd become a public figure, which she'd never sought before.

When he looked back at her, he realized she was looking at him. "I can hear the self-hatred from here," she said, and then rose on her elbow. "Come here."

He laid down next to her, and she pulled him over so that his head rested on her shoulder.

I should be comforting her, he thought, but as she stroked his hair, he closed his eye and let her soothe him. He felt the first tendrils of sleep drift over him and for once, didn't fight against it.

* * * * *

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