#so I don’t have the ‘luxury’ of most of the basic things on this list

[scalingsvt8thusiast]

Drabbles: Too Many Beds (ft. Heeseung)

Lee Heeseung knew that the universe was against him today.

“We’re so sorry sir, all the suites are unavailable as of right now.” The hotel receptionist bowed apologetically, “We only have the family room available right now, would that be ok?”

That is how he found himself standing in a room with FOUR beds. 

He dropped his bag on the floor with a sigh. 

Heeseung finally mustered up enough courage to ask you out on a short getaway after dating for a month. He had planned everything from the words he would say and the whole itinerary. 

Everything started going wrong from the flight here. The two of you were supposed to travel together, but the airline had overbooked the flight and moved you to another later flight. Heeseung had offered to delay his flight to accompany you but the airline had also overbooked the flight you were on so there was no room for him to move his flight. 

Then there was the whole plane ride. Heeseung was suppose to spend the ride talking to you and charming you, he ended up being squeezed in between an elderly couple who spent the entire ride giving him a lecture on marriage.

The worse part was he just realised he packed the same side of 2 different slippers. Great, now you were going to think he was a freak for wearing 2 left slippers. 

Heeseung slapped his palm to his forehead.

“It’s fine,” He muttered to himself, “When she’s here, it’ll be fine.”

While Heeseung was going through what seemed like the worse day of his life, you were going through the best day of your life. 

The airline had informed you that you would be bumped up to business class, so you spend the whole 3 hours in luxury. You had your own little suite and didn’t have to talk to anybody apart from the flight attendants. An absolutely perfect start to your holiday.

Because the airline had caused a delay, they offered to pay for your ride to your hotel so of course you got an airport limousine. You sat in the plush leather seats, pouring through your most recent read accompanied by a glass of champagne. 

The best part was, you had the most handsome man waiting by the main doors for you as you stepped out of the car. 

“Heeseung!” You called as you got off the car. 

The man looked up from his phone, blinking. He didn’t expect you to arrive in such a fancy car. 

When Heeseung saw you lugging your bag, he quickly ran over. Gently prying your bags from you, he guided you into the lobby. 

“I’m glad you got here safe.” He sent you a charming smile that made you weak in the knees. 

“Y-yeah.” You stuttered, following him into the lift. 

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t accompany you here.” He sighed in frustration. 

“Oh don’t worry about it!” You reassured him, “I’m a pretty adept traveller.”

“Yeah?” He grinned as he opened your room door, “Gonna tell me about it over dinner tonight?” 

You paused at the sight, “4 beds? Are other people joining us?” 

“No!” Heeseung said quickly. “The hotel messed up my reservation, I swear I wanted just one bed.”

He turned red when he realised what he was implying. 

“I mean- not that I expect anything!” Now it was his turn to stutter. “I was just hoping- I was gonna ask you properly-!” 

You giggled as you watch Heeseung malfunction, there was basically steam coming out of his ears with his face turning 10 different shades of red. 

He sighed, putting down your bags before approaching you. 

He ran his hands down your arms and laced his fingers with yours. 

“I was going to ask you to be my girlfriend,” He explained, “I had this whole thing planned with roses and balloons.”

“I’m so sorry,” His eyes searched yours, “I’ll redo everything soon.”

You gave him a soft smile, “Can I just say yes to being your girlfriend now?”

“What?” Heeseung said, eyes widening. 

“You don’t have to plan something elaborate just to ask me that, the answer will alway be yes.”

a/n: bet you all can't guess who's my bias in Enhypen. Idea came from this list.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

fellow + gidel ssr time fellas

(This bastard took an entire soft pity :(( but hey, I got a Dorm Uniform Jade dupe and finally FINALLY my first Dorm Uniform Floyd on the way, so I ain't too pressed about it.) RISE UP FELLOWIVES NOW’S YOUR TIME

***Character profile, voice lines, Groovy, and vignette spoilers below the cut!!***

First off! His official profile, coffin, and candy (Fox Candy):

(School) Grade/Class: None

Birthday: May 17 (Taurus)

Age: 26

Height: 181 cm

Dominant Hand: Right

Hometown: ???

Club: None

Best Subject: Mathematics (specifically Arithmetic)

Hobby: Watching theater

Dislikes: Saving money

Favorite Food: Apples

Least Favorite Food: Potatoes

Special Skill: Sewing

We finally get confirmation of Fellow’s age! (He had previously said in Playful Land that he was 20-something.)

I love that Fellow’s best subject is math Deuce is jealous/j; it makes so much sense given that his inspiration, Honest John (and Fellow himself) aren’t good at reading. It’s that whole “kids are either good at math or English” stereotype. In Japanese, the phrase 算数 is used. 算数 refers to arithmetic, or very basic math taught in elementary school (adding, subtracting, multiplying, and dividing). That specific phrase explains Fellow’s elementary level of understanding. His dislike being saving money is also related to numbers; he spends the money he has right away to get by in the moment. Fellow doesn’t really have the skill or the luxury of financial planning, he has to focus on the here and now, looking out for both himself and Gidel.

OMG, his favorite and least favorite foods???? 😭 Playful Land has apple (core) flavored candies and popcorn… and again, this is a reference to Honest John and Pinocchio’s first encounter! He takes the kid’s apple and eats it, lol cnsvwiwguwkw Potatoes being his disliked food… Maybe it’s because it’s the “poor” man’s vegetable? Because potatoes are so versatile, keep for a long time, and are filling because of the starch content, Fellow might resort to eating them a lot, so perhaps as a result he got sick of the taste.

What I find most interesting about Fellow’s profile are his listed hobby and special skill. He largely comes off as despicable and a slimy scammer (which he is, don’t get me wrong), but we can see different sides to him in these details—both the inner child that had his dreams trampled but remains hopeful about the future and the big brother figure/guardian to a child. Gidel is actually formally referred to in Fellow’s profile as his (non-blood related) brother, which made my heart melt 🥺 TWST must know I have a thing for beastmen who act shitty but are actually excellent mentors to the children/j

Fellow enjoys watching theater. It’s a way of transporting you away temporarily to new worlds with crazy stories and emotional performances. When words aren’t enough, you sing. And when singing isn’t enough, you dance. It’s an area that’s so full of life and joy, at least from the audience’s perspective. I’m thinking that watching theater must have been a form of escapism for Fellow, especially with how accessible it is (think of like street performances). Watching theater might also serve a dual purpose of teaching Fellow how to come across as amicable and friendly, which says a LOT about his character. He’s resourceful and able to learn from unconventional sources, then is able to apply those skills to real world situations.

Fellow’s special skill being sewing is surprisingly very cute! If you’ve taken one look at his and Gidel’s designs, we may have already spotted some of his handiwork. There’s mismatched fabric patches on their clothes!! The stitches look so clean too. The patterns not matching is probably because Fellow just used whatever scraps he was able to get his hands on, but I also like to imagine that he tried to make the best of the situation by incorporating the mismatched fabrics in a fun way (like the diamonds in his pants).

Next, can we talk about the composition of that GROOVY????

It’s another reference to the same Pinocchio scene! Fellow’s holding his book like Honest John did and it looks like he’s trying to teach Gidel the alphabet from words scratched on the sidewalk. Notice how the C is written backwards too 😂 He even wears glasses like when Honest John was trying hard to act like an intellectual.

And Gidel!!! Pencil and pad of paper in hand, he looks so interested to learn (something which was hinted at in Playful Land). Gideon in the film is also shown with a pen and pad of paper, scribbling down nonsense as Fellow pretends to diagnose Pinocchio.

Gidel glances up at Fellow with an expression of admiration. I love how wholesome their relationship is depicted as, it leaves a warm feeling in the heart.

The framing of this Groovy is very interesting. We have Fellow to our left—a direction has historically been associated with evil (in Italian, the word for left is even sinistra, as if to imply something sinister) and in the darkness. Gidel is the one to our right and in the light. It presents Fellow to us as someone who has given up on his dreams—but not completely, since we see some light touching his hat, gloves, and highest features + he is currently teaching Gidel and still has dreams of opening his own school. Gidel is shown in the light because he’s still a naive child that doesn’t understand how the world works. His dreams haven’t been destroyed yet, and there’s hope for him to have a better life since Fellow is looking after him and instructing him.

CHECK THIS OUT, GIDEL FOLLOWS FELLOW TO CLASS LIKE MARY'S LAMB OR SOMETHING????? Gidel pops out from under the desk or out of/behind Fellow's cape! Gidel also joins Fellow on the homescreen.

Some of Fellow's expressions are so priceless... For example, look at him in Flight! There's an unsure face and a little bead of sweat. (He makes a lot of pathetic accompanying sounds too, lol) Flying takes magic, so he's probably not confident or powerful enough to maintain flight for long stretches of time--though when he does nail it, he looks ultra smug.

ADGKVAVFOOEFIEQOfsl HIS SHOCKED FACE

How uncool, Fellow-san...

His attack sprites are very similar/identical to what we saw in Playful Land--Fellow's just playing for the opposite team now.

Gidel hops into battle to assist, so I guess they count as the first two-character card. It's been a while since I've seen these animations, but I think I can appreciate them a lot more now. I'm noticing new little things like how Fellow adds a bunch of showmanship into his attack, little flashy flourishes and even presenting Gidel with his arms splayed, as if welcoming a star to the spotlight. The attention to detail really is crazy for these.

If you want to read his voice lines in full, you can find an excellent fan translation of them here! I'll just be remarking on things I noticed while combing through the voice lines myself:

First off: bro calls himself Fellow Hones-SAMA???????? OKAY, KING 😭 Love that confidence you got goin' on there...

bifabsiyofbefe Love how he just reads a textbook and then flat-out admits he has no clue what the heck it's saying. Hey, honesty is a virtue.

Ace 💀 He has the balls to play a prank on an adult... I kind of want to know what the prank was, but at the same time I feel like I should be shaking my head and telling him off for doing it in the first place. I do appreciate that Ace being shitty brought out Fellow's true personality there for a second though, I live for it when Fellow gets real steamed and starts shouting that the NRC students are brats or that they should drop out if they have no motivation in school.

The way Fellow automatically clocked that Kalim is way too trusting and would surely be in danger even if he wasn't the one to come for him... Fellow, watch your back. Jamill WILL come for your sketchy ass for what you did back then.

I didn't find anything super interesting in Fellow's comments about Ortho, but I do think it reveals that there is value in him coming to school. It's only at NRC where Fellow can see such a curious thing like Ortho, and that speaks to the value of really going out there and being exposed to different things. That's part of Lilia's own growth arc too, and a large part of why he now spreads that same rhetoric.

Fellow remarks that Ramshackle is "pretty sweet", which means one of two things: either this is the refurbished post-book 6 dorm OR it's still the shabby pre-book 6 dorm, but since Fellow and Gidel have never really had their own stable housing, even run-down old Ramshackle seems like a massive upgrade.

Fellow and Gidel must have been so happy to see that lunch at NRC is free and served buffet style (so there's no limits to how much you can take). On top of that, they got dead chefs from 5 star restaurants staffing the kitchen! Those two really hit the jackpot, I hope they eat well.

AVUSDGVUADOVIAISDBIDAS THE DIALOGUE IMPLYING FELLOW CASUALLY BYPASSED THE SCHOOL'S BARRIER AND OTHER SECURITY MEASURES... So Chenya-core of him, really. Fellow may not have magical might, but he's seriously street smart to have found a way in like he has.

Small detail but I appreciate how Fellow has lines which call attention to Gidel. It doesn't just remind us that Gidel is there too, but it also demonstrates to us that Fellow actively tries to include him in the conversation despite Gidel's muteness (a condition which may lead others to outright ignoring him or talking down to him).

LAST THING (though it's not in MysteryShopTL's linked post): in his birthday greeting to the player, Fellow says that both you and him don't have talent for magic, so you should get along. I didn't think the game would acknowledge the player and Fellow's similarity in that sense, so it was very nice to be proven wrong.

And to finish off this post (which ended up being way more massive than I thought it would be), a quick summary of the vignettes!! If you want to read them in full, please check out MysteryShopTLs’ post!

In vignette 1, Fellow and Gidel are putting on a street performance in Silk City. Fellow collects fees from the onlookers and then tries to milk more out of them by spinning a story about how Gidel is a puppet that can walk without strings. Buuut Gidel moves like a normal living being and sneezes, which ruins the ruse and leads to the crowd getting mad at them. The duo run off, but Fellow reveals that while the locals were looking at Gidel, he used magic to steal some of their precious metals and jewelry. In the next vignette, Fellow and Gidel have moved on to Fairest City. It's said that they live a nomadic lifestyle and hop from place to place, never staying for too long in any one location because word of their scams may spread and cause a situation where they cannot reasonably make money through their lies. (Cute detail: Fellow listens to Gidel's suggestions on where they should go next and even praises Gidel's smarts.) This time Fellow's trying to auction off a magestone that he claims will allow anyone who holds it to use magic. The people of Fairest City don't believe him and give him the cold shoulder, which upsets Fellow (since he really hates it when others look down on him). He ends up using his UM to get his audience to be more pliant and manages to sell the magestone for a pretty penny. At the end of this vignette, Fellow drops a line about how he and Gidel are so free, how they can do whatever they want since they have nothing holding them back. I really love that thought~

AND IF YOU THOUGHT VIGNETTES 1 AND 2 WERE FUNNY HAHA TEEHEE CUTE, WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE VIGNETTE 3 💀 VIGNETTE 3 FELT LIKE IT WAS A TARGETTED SNIPE ON MY HEART

The setting is Sunrise City! Fellow and Gidel are being chased off by an angry person they tried to rob. It looks like they're unsuccessful today and will be going hungry. Gidel tries opening a random can of OIL in search of food, so Fellow scolds him and tells him to leave it be. Apparently Gidel does this a lot when he's hungry (just grabbing random shit and trying to eat it), even though Fellow has tried teaching him how to read. THIS IS WHAT THE CONTEXT OF THE GROOVY IS, FELLOW SQUATS DOWN (like we literally see his 2D model lowering) AND DRAWS IT ON THE GROUND FOR GIDEL TO SEE. O is for orange, I is for ice-cream, and L is for laugh. Fellow realizes that L is the only non-food word, but he couldn't come up with anything else. I wonder if like... this is some common game they do to distract from hunger. They have to imagine the food they could have but can't. And L being "laugh"? That can't be a coincidence. Fellow could have used any other L word as an example, even if he couldn't come up with a food that starts with L. It makes me think he picked "laugh" on purpose in an effort to lift Gidel's spirits and to try and distract from their circumstances.

Aaaah, as I was saying! Fellow gets upset that he doesn't know as much as your average 26-year old would since he never went to school. Gidel seems to sense his frustrations and reassures him with a pat, which reenergizes Fellow. He says he'll try to find some food, so Gidel should focus on making a fire. While gathering wood to burn, they come across a job posting by a shady rich man that Fellow and Gidel supposedly did another job for in the past. Fellow suggests that they check out the job and if they don't like it then they can leave. ADSKJBBSLDIADBLUBAB These are the events leading up to Playful Land... meaning that Fellow’s showmanship is wasn’t something he developed at the amusement park, but as a general coping and survival mechanism to get by day-to-day.

I uh. May or may not have cried a little at Fellow and Gidel's really wholesome interaction 😭 I MEAN YEAH OF COURSE I'M A SUCKER FOR BIG BROTHER CHARACTERS (and we certainly see that in how Fellow scolds Gidel and looks out for his wellbeing, both in the vignettes and in Playful Land) but also???????? ? ? ? ? ?? ?????? ? ? ? ?? I love Love LOVE how Gidel is shown to be supportive of Fellow as well. Fellow as the older person, the adult, and the able-bodied one of the duo is pulling most of the weight when it comes to getting resources and handling communication. However, Gidel plays an important role in their dynamic as well. He's the heart and the emotional support that Fellow needs when he's down in the dumps and being hard on himself. Gidel not only serves as a "reason" for Fellow to work hard (to support a child), but he also gives Fellow motivation and hope that tomorrow can be another day. YOU CAN REALLY TELL HOW MUCH THESE TWO CARE AND LOOK OUT FOR ONE ANOTHER OTL

OOOOOOOoooOOooOOGGHHHH MY HEART *clutches it* I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE, I CAN'T HANDLE THE ONII-SAMA OF IT ALL

[mothiir]

sorry to be that rehash that droid de suggondeez plotline (I REFUSE TO CORRECTLY SPELL FRENCH) with big e stealing a wife but could we pretttty ppLEAAAASE get some more mothiir? i am obsessed with the eldritch inhuman but human behaviour you write him with. it makes me want to chew on him while simultaneously wanting to beat him with a brick out of hatred. i have so many ideas. but ill take anything you offer up fr ill live off the scraps like a feral dog, its just that the the whole david and goliath vibe is TASTYYYY. please dignify my complete insanity for just an intsy winsy second because all i can imagine is how utterly FUCKED the stolenwife!reader's pov is. you try fight back a little too much? oh haha, ur so cute, but keep biting or scratching him and he'll sicc one of the custodes (or a few) to really try you out. let you be so overstimulated youre begging for something in you, and oh boy big e'll sooo do that dont worry. or maybe humble you by keeping you basically half bare like yeah not so cocky now LMFAO IM SO SORRY I NEVER GIVE PROMPTS SO BRAZENLY LIKE THIS BC IM A COWARD FULL OF SHAMEEE UR SO MUCH BRAVER THAN MEEE (thank you sm if you do or dont run with anything i spat out just then)

first of all, never apologise for requesting stuff and also i totally respect your disrespect of the French language. as an englishwoman i am contractually obligated to hate those frog-eating bastards (disclaimer: this is satire pls don’t cancel me). secondly i absolutely love your description of my interpretation of big e because it is also exactly how i feel about him. beat him with brick, pat hair, back to brick. I know i have moved away from that content but I still wave my emperor fucker flag and am always taking requests for him

i promise there will be actual coherent fic soon, but for now here is a bullet pointed list of the sort of things that guilliwife experiences (if there is one in particular you want a full fix of let me know):

the Emperor steals you, and does not think to tell Guilliman — why would he? He fucks you, enjoys it tremendously, then has to go and do some important Master of Mankind warp fuckery that means you spend about a fortnight in some random rooms with no one to talk to but the Custodes. And they barely talk! You never work out if they are bodyguards or prison guards, since you can’t imagine that you are important enough to warrant guarding, but you also don’t think that there is much effort needed to stop you escaping. Where would you even go?

It would be so much easier if he was always a selfish monster in bed — but he isn’t. Worse: he eats pussy exactly how you think a man with millennia of practice would. He likes bringing you to the very edge of orgasm and just stopping, pillowing his cheek on your stomach and watching as you whine and cry, partly with guilt and partly with sheer frustration. You end up begging him to fuck you, stumbling out every title you can think of — lord, emperor, sire, master — but his patience is limitless, and he can keep going for hours, until you’re completely insensible, promising every depraved thing if he will just stop teasing and put it in you

You belong to him. No one else is allowed to touch you — apart from valdor, one of his oldest friends and dearest allies. And captain Kytan. And a few other custodes. Sometimes at the same time. They’re extensions of his most absolutely not divine will — they can partake in the same luxuries he allows himself, otherwise what kind of a leader would he be? He likes seeing his best soldiers happy, especially when it’s because valdor is balls deep in your arse, while he enjoys the sweet warm stretch of your throat. You jostle and whimper between them, so full that you can barely breathe, and afterwards the emperor watches as valdor thumbs open your cheeks, just to watch your holes struggle to close up around the shape of his cock. Still, valdor can’t linger too long - there is already a line

He will cum inside you so much you swear your stomach bulges a little from it all. You have nightmares about popping like a balloon

eventually word reaches the Emperor that Guilliman is looking to speak to him as a matter of urgency — he is currently buried deep in your throat, enjoying the cute little gluck-gluck-gluck noises your gag reflex makes as you try to fit him all the way into your tight gullet. He does not ask you to stop this before answering the vox from a distraught Roboute, who is blathering about his fiancée going missing? The Emperor chuckles a little to himself, patting your hair — ah, having a woman to be wed and a woman in his bed, Roboute is far more like his father than first thought — wait. Ah. Singular woman. Singular. Shit.

[sldlovescartoons]

As time went on Essek looked more and more forward to his meetings with Caleb. As it was he could only drop his disguises in very rural west and south areas and with the Nein and the whole thing got more exhausting all the time. Plus, Caleb was making such quick progress with his studies, chatting only got more interesting with each visit.

He was also pretty sure it was normal to miss one’s partner, but such romantic thoughts flustered him too much to think on so early in the afternoon. That train of thought was for once Caleb and him have gone through a whole bottle of wine.

“Professor Widogast?” Knocking on the door with his most neutral accent. He was Halsunn Deeproot today, a forest elf who did magical research. One of his partner’s favorite aliases.

“Ah, come in, Deeproot!”

And so he went in, senses immediately assaulted by the smell of cooking meats and veggies. Ah, so they were eating in tonight. Appreciated, since their latest separation had been especially long. The drow dropped his disguise as he drifted into the kitchen to the grin on of ridiculous human partner.

“Awh, putting Halsunn away already? But he’s such a looker.”

“Don’t tease me, young man, I’m of no mood for it.” He complained with no malice as he finally reached his destination and got to give Caleb a peck on the lips, getting a quick glance at whatever he was cooking before it was covered with a lid. “That looks… different.”

Caleb and Essek were not cooks, but they had been gradually improving now that they had to fend for themselves as full adults. That said, the list of things either of them could cook consistently good was short. Both could do the easiest of soups and some stews, Caleb knew how to do basics roasts and sides and he knew some very simple baking. This didn’t stop either of them from trying something more complex, wizard hubris and all. Whatever his ginger had in that deep pan wasn’t one of the roasts the human whipped out when he had the coin and wanted to impress. There was twine and toothpicks. The drow really hoped that he wasn’t going to spend his first night of this visit choking down something inedible, but it would be fair turnaround for those awful plum cookies Essek had made two visits back.

“Don’t worry, I practiced this one a bit. I wanted to do something nice to surprise you. Do you know what a few days ago was?”

Fucks sake, he’d forgotten something. What did he miss? An anniversary, surely, but he couldn’t…

“I- I’m sorry, I don’t…”

“Don’t worry, I forgot too, until it’d passed. Four days ago was the third anniversary of the day we met. It’s not something most people remember, or even celebrate, so don’t worry, it’s just- I remembered and wanted to make you a little treat.” Caleb glanced at some sand dials he had set up. The drow noticed more covered pots. Steaming something, maybe?

“You don’t have to go so out of the way.”

“I want to, though, and I will.”

“But of course.”

“Now-“ Another, slightly longer kiss and a soft smile with blue eyes that took his thoughts away more often than not. “Why don’t you go wash up a bit, hm? You smell like a beast of burden. Dinner should be ready by the time you’re done.”

“Bold words from the man who smells like ox mating season.” Essek was eternally glad that his complexion was too dark for blushes to show at the teasing. Also hypocritical since the cologne Caleb smothered himself instead of bathing regularly smelt like animal musk and the vague concept of a forest. “But yes, I think I will.”

He tended to take long bathes whenever he had the luxury of time to do so, so by the time he was clean and had his hair done (he would sooner die then have Caleb seen him without his curl cream in.) dinner was being put on the table.

“Just in time, darling.”

“Well time is one of my specialties.” The statement was something of a flirt or inside joke now-a-days, and got the soft smile he was looking for as a response. He gave him a quick peck on the lips and looked down at Dinner. “Caleb, did you make a roulade?”

“I did.” And he looked so proud of himself, too, but Essek kept looking and as further realization came to him. “But that’s not all, I’m sure you’ve noticed.”

The meat roulades, sliced not too thick, not too thin, was served with rice and what was distinctly Xhorasian steamed veggies.

“This meal is very xhorasian inspired.”

“I figured you might be a bit home sick and the market in Rosohna was just a teleport away.” They sat down to eat, Essek much slower as he tried to process this gift.

“You went through all that trouble…”

“It wasn’t any trouble at all, so don’t worry about it and eat up, Liebling.”

And so Essek took his first bite (with chopsticks, even!!! Caleb was using a fork but he’d remembered Essek’s utensil preference, the darling man), a fair chunk of meat, filling, and rice.

And promptly burst into tears.

“Oh Schiess, is it that bad? I practiced the technique, but this is the first time with the marinade-“ Caleb, his darling starshine Caleb, started to lean over and fuss. The drow shook his head quickly to try and assure him, to try and get himself together. But he was having a hard time because-

Because Caleb had made *rat*. Giant Rat, had to be. Now in his den, they had mostly livestock and great beasts, their days of having to eating rats like the common folk was centuries past, but one couldn’t deny themselves a little comfort food every once in a while, could they? And what was more comforting and simple to creature of the Underdark than some well cooked rat? This rat dish reminded him starkly of something that his mother had ordered the chefs make when he’d recovered from an awful fever in his… twelfth year, maybe? Something hardy and comforting after he’d been sweating and puking for days to bring him back to health. A rare kindness from his mother and warm memory- and there the tears went again. Lights above, he was a mess.

“Wh- Where did you source the rat? It tastes fresh.” Essek was doing his level best to act like there weren’t thick crocodile tears on his face. His partner blinked at him in open bewilderment.

“I… killed it this morning, down in an abandoned part of the academy. I used the silver it earned me to buy the veggies. Is- is this because of the rat? It’s the most exotic meat I could find short notice-“ A Fresh Hunt!!! It was like Caleb had read his primary school journals from before he found out he didn’t like people and such.

“And you used plum wine in- in the marinade, yes?” He pushed forward, adamant to ignore the crying that was happening. Gods, it had been far too long since he had something that tasted like *home*. “Goes well with the nut and date filling- really cuts the gaminess of the- the rat.”

“So, we are ignoring the tears. Ja, alright.” Caleb seemed to resign himself to this reality quickly. This wasn’t the first time Essek had clammed up about something because feeling were embarrassing, and he knew he’d be told eventually. “Yes, I got recommended a good brand to use by Yasha and Beauregard, so we gave them to thank for that. Do you enjoy the bits of pan fried mushroom in the rice?”

“Yes.” Even though they were slightly over, a bit tough, just the thought was so sweet and so homey.

He had such a wonderful partner.

[etaindelaserna]

So I found this around, can I ask for Draco/ Hermione or Kakashi/ Sakura?

♥ Send a ship and I'll give you who:

- Gives nose/forehead kisses

- Gets jealous the most

- Picks the other up from the bar when they’re too drunk to drive

- Takes care of on sick days

- Drags the other person out into the water on beach day

- Gives unprompted massages

- Drives/rides shotgun

- Brings the other lunch at work

- Has the better parental relationship

- Tries to start role-playing in bed

- Embarrassingly drunk dancer

- Still cries watching Titanic

- Firmly believes in couples costumes

- Breaks the expensive gift rule during Christmas

- Makes the other eat breakfast

- Remembers anniversaries

- Brings up having kids

Thanks for choosing two of my all-time-even-when-I‘m-as-old-as-solar-systems-ships✨Let‘s see…

- Gives nose/forehead kisses:

Nose? Definitely Hermione and it drives Draco mad, because it’s such a silly gesture and he doesn’t really understand it because WHY THE BLOODY NOSE of all places but secretly he loves it. Forehead? Draco. He almost overuses it. It’s a no-nonsense gesture, a “I’m a hopeless romantic deal with it” declaration, a “You’re safe with me” assurance and a “I adore you more than I have words for” love letter.

- gets jealous the most:

Draco although he doesn’t show it. But there are signs. Hermione can tell. The eyebrow twitch, the love bombing once they’re alone, the overcompensation with grand speeches and display of luxury but the most telling one of all: Draco is making an utter fool of himself—no matter how calm and collected he looks doing it.

- picks the other up from the bar when they’re too drunk to drive:

Draco. He acts as if he’s annoyed by it but he’s satisfied that she calls him to pick her up, that she feels safe with him. Also: drunk Hermione is very funny and cute and entertaining and he teases her about it when she’s sober again.

- takes care of on sick days:

Draco. By the time Hermione listed her symptoms he has already owled for potions and healers and plans to buy enough groceries for at least a month just in case. Hermione doesn’t want him to make a big fuss about it but he basically declares it a national emergency and makes sure she really recovers. Meaning: she is not allowed to read or research while sick.

- Drags the other person out into the water on beach day:

Hermione. Because what’s the point of going to the beach if you don’t go into the water but of course Draco argues, that it’s called “beach day” and not “swim” or “ocean day”.

- gives unprompted massages:

Hermione. It’s her way of easing things up between them. A physical way for her to express she is there with him, that she listens.

- drives/rides shotgun

Hermione. Jump in. We don’t have time for questions.

- brings the other lunch at work:

Draco. Proper nutrition isn’t one of Hermione‘s top priorities. She skips meals on a daily basis because she is too focused on her work. Also: it gives Draco an excuse to stop by and steal some smooches.

- has the better parental relationship:

Hermione.

- tries to start role-playing in bed:

Draco. He read in a muggle magazine, made the quiz that determined whether that’s something he could be interested in and tried it the first chance he got. Needless to say it ended in them almost dying of laughter.

- embarrassingly drunk dancer:

Hermione. And she forces Draco to join in.

- still cries watching Titanic:

Draco. Being the hopeless romantic in the relationship, it’s right down his aisle. Although he slightly sympathises with the rich and therefore get’s smacked by Hermione.

- firmly believes in couples costume:

Draco. It’s one of the few benefits of being a couple and he is fully committed to see it to its full potential.

- breaks the expensive gift rule dusting Christmas:

Draco.

- makes the other eat breakfast:

Draco. Hermione is not allowed to leave the house until she’s had breakfast. Just coffee doesn’t count.

- remembers anniversaries:

Both. Although Hermione remembers a lot of personal and small ones like the first time he smiled at her.

- brings up having kids:

Draco. Every chance he gets. There’s no point in postponing because they love each other, they are settled and he wants a minimum of two. A boy and a girl. Three if he’s lucky and Hermione plays along.

- Gives nose/forehead kisses:

Kakashi. For appearing so aloof all the time he does use kisses and touches as his main love language and once Sakura got used to it, she realised how much she actually needed this kind of affection from a partner.

- gets jealous the most:

Sakura. Kakashi is a beautiful, respected man and Sakura was used to being treated indifferently and always being the second fiddle. Noticing other women glancing after him makes her want to explode.

- picks the other up from the bar when they’re too drunk to drive:

Kakashi. Sakura is a clingy and honest drunk. So it’s quite amusing but for the most part he doesn’t trust anyone else with picking her up.

- takes care of on sick days:

Sakura. There is no debate. Kakashi isn’t allowed to leave the house and is fed chicken broth and at least 3 litres of tea. And he is not allowed to complain.

- Drags the other person out into the water on beach day:

Sakura. Kakashi isn’t a fan of the cold water but can’t say no when Sakura wears that large sun hat and green swimming suit and has that huge smile on her face when she starts a splashing war.

- gives unprompted massages:

Kakashi. After a long day in the hospital or on a mission her shoulders and neck are so tense and although she never complains or asks, he can see that she is uncomfortable. He can’t stand it. Within a few minutes she falls asleep.

- drives/rides shotgun:

Sakura.

- brings the other lunch at work:

Kakashi. Although Sakura knows how important a nutritious meal is, she is too exhausted to meal prep. It gives Kakashi a sense of fulfilment knowing he can do this little thing for her.

- has the better parental relationship:

Sakura. But Kakashi was basically adopted into the family by day one.

- tries to start role-playing in bed:

Sakura. She convinces herself it must be something Kakashi likes because he has more experience and because of the Icha Icha books and she doesn’t want to be “bad in bed”. So she tries it and Kakashi humours her but makes it clear he is not into it, especially if Sakura doesn’t enjoy it.

- embarrassingly drunk dancer:

Sakura. Kakashi can’t decide if it’s cute or funny or oddly attractive but Sakura has moves he has never seen before.

- still cries watching Titanic:

Sakura.

- firmly believes in couples costume:

Kakashi. It surprises Sakura just how committed he is. She has to admit it’s actually quite fun.

- breaks the expensive gift rule dusting Christmas:

Sakura. Her gifts are a combination of expensive and thoughtful. She has a vision in mind.

- makes the other eat breakfast:

Sakura. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. End of story.

- remembers anniversaries:

Kakashi. He makes sure to remind Sakura what’s so special about each anniversary: the way she looked, how she smiled, something she said. Those moments are precious to him.

- brings up having kids:

Sakura. She never thought about it before but with Kakashi it just makes sense.

[dulcegyaru]

🌺 Low Spoon Gyaru 🌺

Gyaru is one of those lifestyles that isn’t necessarily focused on luxury brands or bougie stuff but is high maintenance to some extent. High maintenance can be several things: effort, time or money. Here are my tips on doing gyaru with minimum effort for those who are low on energy.

Keep in mind for some things to be effortless the price may go up.

Gyaru has 5 “pillars”:

Tan:

Not every gal has to be tan, theres sub-styles that don’t require it such as hime-gyaru. The tanning in gyaru was developed to fight beauty standards in Japan. Depending on where you are maybe tanning is the beauty standard maybe it isn’t. To me the important part is having healthy skin you feel confident in so I’ll twist this pillar to hygiene instead.

If you’re low spooning opt to do the pit stop:

Basically one shower for everything:

- clean your body, wash your face, brush your teeth and wash your hair (if it’s hair wash day)

Some people may find it gross but honestly it’s convenient. You’re already there, water is already running. Instead of having several steps you can just do everything in one place.

After wards it’s just treating face, body and hair. Start by your face so you don’t have to rinse your hands whenever you change products.

You may find yourself a bit more energized and happy for once you’re all clean and ready for the day.

Clothing:

Personally clothing is relatively easy if you already have a gyaru closet going on however if you don’t thats fine. Stick to a couple of safe and easy outfits: comfy and sexy are two words that should be in your outfit. Gyaru isn’t really a clothing focused style and almost everything can be made gyaru as long as the hair and makeup are top notch. Choose your favorite feature in your body and exploit it.

Personally, to me my legs are my best feature. So I base my outfits around that. Shorts, skirts, socks and leg warmers are my favorite accessories. Notice how these outfits look gyaru but there’s no heavy accessorizing and nothing gets in the way? Thats what you should strive for

If making outfits is something you struggle with go to Pinterest and check some outfits out, look for regular outfits and see how they can be gyaru-fied. Everskies is an amazing app where you can create outfits as well. Try to create stuff there. Theres groups in apps like amino where you can get crit and ask for tips.

Keep the clothing you like at an easy access place, maybe the front of your closet, maybe a rack outside. Repeating items and outfits is ok.

Makeup:

Here’s where it gets a but more complex. Some gals say no make no gal, others say it’s completely fine. To me even though makeup is a huge part of it, gal is about lifestyle and ideals.

Personally I’ve managed to reduce my makeup routine from 1-2 hours to 5-15 minutes. Obviously makeup requires skill and practice so maybe what takes someone a minute may take you 5 (such as eyeliner or lashes)

To reduce time select that which you don’t enjoy and remove it. Heres a list of things I don’t do:

Foundation: I have acne, I used to hide it by wearing foundation but im not embarrassed by it anymore. I really don’t use it unless I want to have like a seamless moment for an activity or if im posting on social media. Most of the time I wear foundation im not really doing Gyaru makeup anyways

The nose contour: Im black, my nose doesn’t look good with the whole stripe contour moment. Plus it looks odd from the sides. If i do wear foundation I follow my natural line to bring definition back to the face but i try to avoid if

Contacts: not really makeup but I hate them

Basically most of my makeup centers on the eye area. And even then you can avoid some steps.

If you color your eyebrows you can be up to 3 weeks with color so technically you can avoid doing your eyebrows besides from brushing and grooming (if necessary).

You can get eyelash extensions, now days lash techs are posting their lash maps and some pf them are creating anime/manga themed lashes which match the appearance of some daiso lashes.

You can half line your eyes instead of trying to do a full line eyeliner look. This is easier put visually but hopefully y’all get the gist. I might do a tutorial in the future. Honestly makeup is the only thing you really need the spoons for and even then removing some aspects that do not serve you can reduce it by a lot.

Nails:

Get press ons. Seriously there’s a bunch of people on Instagram making beautiful sets and they’re relatively cheap. You only have to prep your nail a lil and put them on.

Hair:

Hair is a bit complex as it kinda depends on the sub style you’re under. However for most (excluding hime) you only need layers. To me gyaru hair is very similar to scene kids once they’re leaving the style. The layers are a bit long, there’s some nice facial framing, color and cute bangs. If your hair meets these, you can just leave it as it is honestly.

Braids are a low maintenance option as well as wigs. Or simply having your natural hair texture theres not a lot of images of gyaru hair outside of straight and wavy, but hair is hair you don’t need a certain texture to pull it off just the main features. Curly hair can have bangs and layers. You can do layers and bangs with braids + add any color you like.

Worst part about braids is having to sit at the chair for hours but if you have the spoons for it, do it, you can be up to 3 weeks (more or less) with braids so that’s something you don’t have to worry about for quite a while.

For wigs, I recommend wigs that already have bangs in them, you just need to plop your hair in a cap and pop it on. It takes practice but once you get the hang of it it takes no time. Also it’s best to divide it in 2: put your wig cap at night, put your wig on the next day, that way it’ll be less exhausting

For straight hair, get one of those hair drier brushes, takes less effort than a blow drier + brush. You can skip the iron and you get volume so you can skip any extra steps.

For those with wavy and curly hair, work on finding the right products for yourself. The diffuser is your friend tbh in this case is just technique and good products. +++ remember to put your hair on a pineapple and bonnet to retain the curls.

For easy hair styles:

Pigtails

Twin claw clip tails

Half up half down (with claw clips)

Half up, half down pigtails

Space buns (low space buns are easier)

Literally almost anything involving one bug claw clip is a massive go to hair style

[watanabes-cum-dump]

PGR characters as people you meet in high school

Lucia - The quiet kid who’s also really popular for some reason. She doesn’t seem talk to people that much but for some reason everyone seems to know and like her somehow. I don’t even think she knows most of their names

Lee - The robotics/gamer kid who somehow has an unreasonable amount of rizz Also one of the quiet ones. Ngl I feel like Gray Raven is just that quiet friend group who always does their own thing and eats lunch in the art room together or smth. Lee by all means seems like he’s be sort of a loser, but no, he’s got EVERYONE trying to tap his non existent ass. I have this type of friend, I have no idea why but they (yeah there are two of em) always pull the baddest bitches. It’s insane.

Liv - The shy and kind kid Liv is the kid that nobody makes fun of because if you did, you would have the entire school on your ass. She is that nice, and absolute angel. Though I feel like she’s also the quiet kid you should be scared of, most people are smart enough not to fuck with her but a few weren’t.

Chrome - The golden child/overachiever This man. He’s on the principal’s list, he’s got a bunch of scholarships lined up for him, multiple extracurriculars, plus he’s rich, nice, and hot. This is the kid that has EVERYTHING it’s insane. But he definitely deserves it, and he’s always willing to help with homework. Suffers from bad taste in men (Vonnegut) because from my experience, all the kids of this kind do. Like that is the only thing wrong with them, their romantic preferences.

Kamui - The class clown and gamer kid Ngl I think he would be made fun of, but he’s just such a nice guy honestly. Another member of the disciples of rizz, somehow always pulls some bad bitches. I feel like he would wear blatant anime merch and maybe those wolf hoodies tho. Also big ass headphones all the time. Sorry Kamui stans.

Camu - Gamer boy part 2 + gets in trouble a lot He also vapes in the washroom when skipping class. Really good at one subject, barely average in the rest. I want to say that he’s the hot Wattpad delinquent bad boy, but he’s a hardcore gamer so he doesn’t get that luxury. Skips school quite a bit, gets into a lot of fights. Yeah.

Wanshi - The kid who never shows up for class We all have that one friend who never shows up to school right? Yeah, that’s Wanshi. Except he probably shows up on test days or for big projects. He still passes tho. Textbook definition of really smart, just lazy.

Karenina - The loud girl that’s always got beef I don’t like her. She seems like that basic ass bitch who is actually always mad at everything and really mean to the guy she likes. But not in a cute way, just annoying. Decent grades, probably argues with the teacher tho. Yeah, we all know this kid right?

Bianca - The Christian white girl who has a rebellious phase later I don’t like Bianca either, but I feel like every textbook Lulu Lemon/Aritzia Christian white girl eventually goes through a rebellious phase or abandons religion completely. Source? I go to a Catholic private school. I know what I’m talking about.

Watanabe - The actual hot delinquent Sorry Camu, Watanabe gets to be the Wattpad boy. He’s just so cold around anyone that isn’t Gray Raven/Kamui that I think he’s just that kid. He’s not an asshole though, minds his own business most of the time but gets into a lot of fights. He’s also something like a big brother to everyone. Teachers hate him though. Also skips fairly often, but he’s always at parties. Mostly as the designated driver. To everyone’s surprise, he wants to be a teacher and that is what he goes and does after high school.

Luna - The popular girl with all the tea I just know Luna hears absolutely everything and uses it as black mail. She’s pretty chill and likeable most of the time though, hence why she’s so popular. Probably on the student council methinks. Pretty good grades too.

Alpha - The popular athletic kid She doesn’t strike me as a tomboy necessarily, just athletic. And gay as fuck. I don’t know what it is guys, I think it might be the Doc Martens. I feel like when she’s not doing sports she’s the cool alt girl everyone wishes they were. Gets into fights and always wins them. Surprisingly, she’s well likes by teachers because she’s pretty quiet in class.

Roland - The theatre/show choir kid You all saw this one coming from a mile away. I said show choir kid too because show choir kids are actually an entirely different breed of crazy. Like we nutty as fuck. (yes, I am a show choir kid, point and laugh guys) Super flamboyant and shows off a lot- worst part is it’s actually always really impressive. Doc Martens wearer number 2, probably made a shrine to Lin Manuel Miranda in the washroom as a joke once, or a Pedro Pascal one. Either or.

Might make a part two and a bonus round for my OCs, idk hope you liked these

[achilleanwizard]

I was tagged by @punkranger (Thank you!!! 😊) And I’m going to tag @gelvaan @sataari @mutantenfisch @deviant3lover @averagejermafan @demianwas and @aelyosos (Feel free to ignore this if you’ve already done it, or just don’t feel like filling it out for your OC(s)!! I’ve just noticed you guys talking about your ocs, and I’d love to hear more about them!)

BASICS

Full Name: Alexander Valente

Gender: Male?? Look, we’ve got more important things to worry about right now, okay?

Sexuality: Biromantic Bisexual

Pronouns: As of right now? Just he/him. He’s pretty comfy with she/her too though. It’s flattering that people think he might be a girl

OTHERS

Family: He never had anyone he considered family; Just very good friends. If asked about it, then he’d say something along the lines of “Do you think I would take the boost drug, with a notoriously very low survival rate, in order to get superhero powers if I had any family I wanted to talk about?”

Birthplace: ???, Nevada, USA

Job: A consultant. Who is he advising and what is he giving them advice about? Mind your business

Phobias: Spiders. Heights. Especially looking out of windows from a very tall height. Admitting he has feelings for a certain someone(s). Abandonment. Probably a whole bucketful more, but those are the main ones.

Guilty Pleasures: Sugar in all it’s various forms (even if he needs the energy to function/for his telepathy) Taking the time to read and appreciate art when not working. Painting his nails (but only when possessing the Puppet’s body) Taking time off work. Buying three entire floors of a luxury skyscraper to house his villain base/office, Renting the most luxurious top floor penthouse (That would make Mayor Osborn (from spider-man) weep tears of envy) he could afford for a home that he barely resides in, Pleasures of the flesh (it’s like a catholic priest up in here) Honestly, it would be easier to list things he isn’t guilty about. (Killing. He’s not guilty about those he’s killed, even if he should be.)

Hobbies: Playing piano. Scheming. Beating up Daniel behind a Wendy’s parking lot Training Daniel. Kissing Daniel too. Starting fights that he can’t possibly hope to win/finish

MORALS

Morality Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Sins: Desire / Despair / Envy / Fear / Hunger / Pride / Rage / Sloth (so almost all of them…)

Virtues: Charity / Chastity / Diligence / Humility / Justice / Kindness / Patience

THIS OR THAT

introvert/extrovert organized/disorganized close minded/open-minded calm/anxious disagreeable/agreeable cautious/reckless patient/impatient outspoken/reserved leader/follower empathetic/unempathic optimistic/pessimistic traditional/modern hard-working/lazy

RELATIONSHIPS

Otp: It’s cruel that you’re making me choose between Herald and Ortega. But gun to my head…. Chargestep. There’s nothing quite like old lost loves.

Ot3: I forget the ‘official’ name for it but, Herald/Sidestep/Ortega (Flychargestep? Chargeflystep?)

Acceptable Ships: Alexander flirts with everyone possible, so. Argentstep. Steelstep. Mortumstep? <- Is that the right name? Anyway, he’ll smooch just about anyone.

Brotp: I have to admit, I’ve been thinking about different Sidestep interactions from time to time. I think he’d be good buddies with some, and have a, uh, very *interesting* dynamic with others. Not naming any specific Sidesteps to 1. Avoid any favoritism and 2. Not humiliate myself even further. He’s annoying though, and he revels in that, so it might only be a good time for him. Oh, also Anathema and Sidestep. Best bros for life (or death)

Notp: Oh, this one’s tough. Shroud/Sidestep if that’s even a thing. It’s on sight for him with her. He don’t trust random Regenes like that. (Unless it’s a multiple Sidesteps AU) HG/Sidestep too cause… yeah. If you know you know. Icky. Blaze/Sidestep, because I like teasing my friends(?) (acquaintances?) 😉

[theyellowroseofsodor]

🎁 I come bearing gift ideas 🎁

- Thomas strikes me as one of those people who has a wishlist of games he’s been meaning to play but hasn’t gotten around to actually buying for himself, and he just keeps adding to it so some of those games have been on that list for years and he’s pretty much forgotten about them being on it at all. So somebody giving him anything on that list would be a pleasant surprise (source: I am one of those people, my friends have done this multiple times)

- Edward seems like the type who’d appreciate something homemade or handcrafted, no matter what it is or how it looks. He’d treasure it because it was made with love and it’s from someone he cares about.

- Henry might appreciate some new gardening tools, like a new trowel or a set of good gardening gloves. Another idea for him is a bulb for an amaryllis, a large lily-like flower that grows well indoors during winter. They’re gorgeous when they bloom, and I’m sure he’d love to help it grow!

- Gordon… is tricky. He seems like the sort to say he doesn’t want/need anything, but you know he’d feel hurt if he didn’t get something meaningful. Personally, I have a headcanon that he really likes butterscotch candy, but that’s not something he goes around telling people. After all, he’s an engine, engines don’t need food, it isn’t proper… but he can’t help popping one in his mouth when he needs a pick-me-up and thinks no one he knows is around to notice. And if a certain someone did notice, well…

- James would probably like things he can use to spoil himself. A specific shade of nail polish from his favorite brand, a warm blanket he can wrap himself in, a pair of nice slippers to wear around the house, things like that.

- Percy is someone I headcanon as being really into Lego. Like, he’s got completed builds set up all over his room and is always on the lookout for a new challenging set to build in his spare time. Can’t go wrong with a cool Lego set for Percy.

- Emily is another tricky one, because she seems like the kind of person who just goes out and gets most of the things she wants herself, just in general. So a good gift for her might be an experience rather than an object; a gift certificate to a new local restaurant, tickets to a concert, vouchers for a spa day, something like that. She’d probably love it even more if it were something she could do with the person who gave her the gift in the first place.

🎁 I put way too much thought into this okay bye 🎁

Oh my gosh, I LOVE these! I don’t know, anon, if you’ve read my fic but I totally made Thomas a video game nerd (also like me) and the idea of getting him a game off his wishlist is BRILLIANT! Like he has a Switch and I’m sure his wishlist is humongous!

Edward is definitely a homemade gift guy, I’m taking that and running with it.

I know nothing about flowers, I could kill a cactus I’m such a bad green thumb. The bulb sounds like something his special someone would know.

OK OK you totally read my mind about Gordon and sweets so I’m gonna run with that one too 😂 but I also think he’d totally tear up with a homemade gift right? Cause he’s all prideful and a bit vain but like actual affection crumbles all the walls. Like he has a lot of good self-esteem but when others genuinely compliment him or make something for him he gets super emotional, but tries to hide it. Oh my gosh, thank you for this brain storming session!

James with like a Minky Couture blanket is now engraved in my mind. That luxury blanket in like a moulin rouge red, oh my Lady I’m living for it.

Percy is totally a LEGO guy! How have I not seen it?? Now I have to find a series to go with it. Like he has to have an entire collection whether it’s Lego City, Star Wars, Harry Potter, LotR, YES!!

Emily having a gift card and a ticket to experience something is also an amazing idea anon, I may need you for future advice because you are brilliant! It is my personal headcanon that Emily loves books. She’s basically Belle from Beauty and the Beast. So, maybe tickets to the theatre? I feel like that would like brighten her world.

Thanks for brainstorming with me anon, this has been amazing! I’m going to start working on it right away but I always welcome more! ♥️💙💜💛💚

[spooniechef]

Lamb Dopiaza (1 spoon)

Curry’s one of those dishes that always seems very complicated. There are a lot of ingredients - something that’s easy to tell just because of the sheer vibrancy and complexity of the flavour profile in a good curry - and it’s easy to wind up thinking that it’s not a thing that would be easy to do at home. However, with inflation racking up the price of basically everything, ordering a takeout or eating in a restaurant isn’t a luxury a lot of people feel they can afford, myself included. So I went looking up recipes for a couple of my favourite Indian dishes, and discovered that most curries, at least, are as easy to make as the average stew. Honestly, that’s all a curry is at the end of the day - stew with a very different flavour profile.

Lamb dopiaza is my favourite, and apparently there are as many ways to make it as there are people, because there were a lot of recipes when I looked. I picked out two - from Fatima Cooks and Sprinkles and Sprouts respectively - but couldn’t decide between them. So instead, I picked what I thought would be the best from both, and added a couple of variations of my own. So the recipe’s more or less my own, I guess? And honestly, it needs very little in the way of notes about how to make it easier because it really doesn’t get any easier than this. Not to cook, anyway. There will be some notes after, but that’s on making the cleanup easier. Not a lot of chopping, very little stirring, but a lot of measuring spoons.

Here’s what you’ll need:

About 1.75lb (800g) diced lamb (use shoulder; see notes below)

12 cloves garlic, finely diced

5 onions, chopped into eighths

4 tablespoons butter

1 tablespoon tomato puree

1.5 teaspoons ginger-garlic paste

2 teaspoons coriander

2 teaspoons cumin seeds

1 teaspoon garam masala

1 teaspoon peppercorns

1 stick cinnamon

0.5 teaspoon clove

0.5 teaspoon turmeric

0.5 teaspoon cayenne pepper

2 black cardamom pods

3 green cardamom pods

Sounds like a lot, I know, but it gets way easier from here. You want to use lamb shoulder because this will be cooked a long time and a more tender meat will make it fall apart. Mutton can also be used, as can beef (skirt or shin), but probably best not to use chicken without seriously modifying the recipe or at least the cooking time, since it will turn to mush.

Here’s what you do:

Throw everything on the above list into a big pot with about a half-cup of water.

Cover and simmer on low heat for 1.5 hours, stirring once or twice.

Remove cover and simmer on high heat for about a half-hour to boil off some of the excess liquid.

Serve.

That is literally it. You cut a lot of onions into eighths, chuck a significant amount of garlic into a mandoline with a “finely diced” attachment on it (or just cut them very fine, if you don’t have one; I still heartily recommend one), dump that into a pot with some lamb and a bit of water, measure in your spices, and then you turn it on low heat and go sit on the sofa and watch a movie, more or less. I stirred the whole thing maybe twice and I probably didn’t even have to do that. It is the easiest thing in the world ... except for the clean-up.

There’s going to be a lot of debris with this dish, mostly in the form of onion and garlic skins. Easiest way to deal with that, if you bought pre-packaged meat from the grocery store, is to set aside the containers and use those as interim garbage cans. This is also helpful for the paper towels used in the next two hints. It’s a useful tip in general; this way, all the detritus is contained in one place and only requires one trip to the garbage can.

A lot of these use teaspoon and half-teaspoon measurements, and most people only have the one set of measuring spoons. I got around this by wiping the spoons down after each use, and saved the ginger-garlic paste for last. That way I was mostly only wiping away dry ingredients, which are easier to just brush off, until I could just dump the half-teaspoon I was using into the washing-up bucket.

Chopping five onions can be a painful prospect with the burning, watering eyes. If that starts getting too painful, or if you’re tearing up too much to see, just wet a couple of paper towels in cold water and hold them against each eye for a minute. That’ll help the burning.

Keep a small plate on hand as a place to rest your stirring spoon between stirs, and wipe up any spills immediately. Curry - turmeric specifically - leaves a bright yellow stain that’s very hard to shift, so it’s best to clean things up as soon as possible so a stain doesn’t have time to set.

I’m really glad I tried this one. It’s delicious, it’s easy, it makes lots of leftovers, and I get to have one of my restaurant favourites at home more or less whenever I want. Plus if my experiments are any indication, there’s a lot of wiggle room with the spicing, so don’t be afraid to add a bit more of something or make some substitutions if that ends up more to your taste. Like any stew, it’s really forgiving.

[max--phillips]

[img ID: a reply from @skellagirl that reads “the shop I go to always tells us to ONLY get gas from chevron or shell because it’s ‘the best gas’ and putting cheap gas in our cars will fuck it up. I’ve never heard that before and it seems like bullshit to me but??? is there any truth to it” end ID]

Okay, so, yes and no. Yes, low quality gas can cause issues (most notably and immediate is lower MPG). But, there’s really no reason to go to specific brands of gas station. My guess is your mechanic is telling you to go out of your way to get Top Tier graded gas, which will actually improve the longevity of your car, but it’s definitely an “in the long run” thing, not an immediate. I know Shell does Top Tier because my father being the car geek he is will ONLY put Top Tier in his car (which to be fair is a Porsche Cayenne (but it’s an ‘08 he got with 150k miles on it so y’know. It’s really not that fancy)) & he only goes to this one specific Shell station in town. Other stations do Top Tier—I know if you’re in the Midwest most Meijer gas stations & Get Go stations have Top Tier. The symbol you’re looking for is like this one:

It’s likely on their pumps somewhere, but you can actually Google Top Tier gas and go to their website and it’ll give you a list of stations that have this certification.

The certification basically means that the gas station in question subjected the gas it sells to a bunch of testing and this company is like yup, that gas is good gas. It usually means it has certain additives like detergents in it, which can help with the longevity of your engine by breaking up engine deposits & preventing future ones, and protect your valves n shit. If you want to get into the nitty gritty of it I’d recommend going to their website and looking into it, but it’s not that important. The point is that like, yeah, if you can go out of your way to put top tier gas in your car you probably should, but I know I don’t and like. It’s fine. I wouldn’t worry about it too much.

THAT SAID, you know how the gas pumps have the three buttons, usually something along the lines of unleaded, plus/mid-grade, and premium? Unless your car specifically calls for premium fuel, which it will probably say so on your gas cap or inside of the little door that covers it (and unless you’re driving a luxury vehicle or a higher-end model, it probably doesn’t), you don’t need mid-grade or premium fuel.

The rest of this post is an explanation on why and it isn’t vital information, it’s just interesting to me, and I also let it get away from me so it’s kinda long & also you get a lesson on how engines work. Sorry not sorry.

The only thing that sets apart regular unleaded from mid-grade and premium is its octane level—the number you see on the little buttons you press to choose the grade. Usually the numbers are 87, 89-90, and 91-94 (though generally it’s 93.) (Sometimes you’ll see other wack numbers for specialty fuels, like 88, or higher octane levels ranging from 96-120. The 88 is usually ethanol-free which as far as I’m aware is only a necessity if your car was manufactured before a certain year or, again, if your manufacturer specifically calls for it. The high octane fuels in the 96-120 range are racing fuels, and if you need that fuel you know more about cars than I do, so… yeah. All that’s to say you can pretty safely ignore those.)

Here’s an explanation on what those numbers mean: basically, it’s a measurement of how much pressure the gas needs to be under before it will spontaneously combust. The lower the octane rating, the lower the pressure necessary. Because cars run on combustion engines (unless you drive an EV of course), you do want it to combust, but you run into trouble if the gas starts to ignite before it should.

You know how you have spark plugs in your engine? Those, indeed, spark, and the spark ignites the gas in the cylinder, which sends the piston back up the cylinder, turning the crankshaft, which ultimately turns a bunch of shit and makes your car go. Here’s a gif!

Since they’ve so kindly numbered each step, let’s go through it:

The piston slurps some gas (the blue fluid in the gif) into the cylinder through the valve.

The piston compresses the gas. At the piston’s highest position, the spark plug sparks, igniting the gas.

The ignition is basically a small explosion, and that pushes the piston back down, leaving burnt fuel (ultimately, exhaust; the brown stuff in the gif) in the cylinder.

The piston comes back up, pushing the exhaust out of the cylinder, before starting all over again.

Now, what does that have to do with octane rating? Remember, octane rating is a measurement of how much pressure it takes to SPONTANEOUSLY combust the gas. You don’t want it to spontaneously combust; you want the spark plug to do that. What ends up happening is the cylinder pushes the gas enough that it spontaneously combusts before the piston hits its highest point & the spark plug sparks, which ultimately causes what’s called “engine knock.” It’s a very recognizable pinging sound caused by unnecessary stress being put on the piston; it’s being pushed down while it’s still on the upstroke. Here’s another gif:

As you can imagine, this is bad for your engine, and terrible for your fuel economy. This is why if your vehicle does recommend you use premium fuel, you should. If your manufacturer is calling for it, your engine can generate enough pressure to spontaneously combust regular unleaded gas.

That said, most standard engines don’t generate enough pressure for it to cause regular unleaded gas to spontaneously combust, which is why you don’t need to spend the extra money if your car doesn’t explicitly call for it.

Alright cool thanks for coming to my post about engines & gas ily bye

[thessalian]

Thess vs Farming Sims

Was up most of the night because ow, woke up far too early. Exhausted but can’t sleep. This seems to be a theme. At least the pain’s a bit better now. Though I’m going to have to go out later to pick up some bits and pieces.

So anyway, I’ve been sliiiiiiiightly whittling down my wish list lately. One of the games I picked up was Wylde Flowers, which was named A Witchy Life Story when I picked up the demo (I guess they didn’t want to give the game away too soon with the title). It’s ... I mean, okay, it’s basically Stardew Valley with the magical elements from various Sims games, but it’s ... a lot more than that, in ways I did not expect. So here’s the bullet points.

It’s honestly a good thing that most of Those Gamers (TM) wouldn’t look twice at a farming sim because “it’s not REAL GAMING”, because those same Those Gamers (TM) would biiiiiiiiiitch about this one. They’d yell about “forced diversity” and “SJW CUCKS” or whatever they call it when there’s, like, more than one POC or LGBTQAI+ individual in a game. As a for-instance, just attended an in-game wedding between a gentleman who’s definitely got some Scottish in the family woodpile and a gentleman of Mexican descent. Which was nice. (I was originally going to have the player character, Tara, go for the classy Iranian doctor lady but the really sweet Black dude from South Africa who runs the local bar kinda got there first and he was adorkable and I figured Tara was high-strung enough to want someone a bit more laid back so I went there instead. He calls Tara ‘kitten’. It’s adorable. Anyway, we also have a lady of Russian descent as the local blacksmith, an Indian lady from London doing meteorological studies, a Native American dude running a farm down the road, a native Hawaiian surfer dude running an exotic luxury goods stall, a family whose origins begin in Italy, a somewhat ... interesting Polish gentleman who I think has some serious shit in his past and is older than he looks, and a non-binary individual who’s originally from Japan who runs a butcher shop. (Their reaction to being given sushi, one of their favourite foods, is hilarious and adorable. Maybe I should have held out for Kai, romantically. Ah well, maybe if I do another playthrough.)

We also have Mayor of Smarm and I hate him. His wife’s probably okay, though.

Also there’s the “faith leader”. Basically this place has Scientologists by any other name. I don’t like him much either, and I am not happy about how many people follow this faith. At least one of them is a little less ... devout, if you can call it that? ... than the others. Just faith groups like that creep me out because of a lot of childhood baggage.

Then again ... in case you thought the witchy thing was just a sideline ... oh gods NO. There are there the quests that basically send you into the Fade (they call it the Gloaming, but whatever) and some Fae creatures. And even those are diverse as fuck. We have a fairy and a goblin (I have purchased farming bots from this lovely individual), and a werewolf originally from Alaska who comes by the nonbinary individual’s butcher shop for an epic amount of meat twice a week ... and then we have a curupira. They dug out an old Brazilian mythological creature for this, and did it right - backwards feet and a thing for mischief. I am impressed. Especially since animating backwards feet is probably a bitch.

Oh, and did I mention the witch hunt? I should probably mention the witch hunt. See, this faith group has ... views. Like, “We hate the Summer Festival that’s really just about promoting community bonding and unity because PAGAN”. And “There are ‘witches’ but we don’t use that term; we call them Malcontents and they are DANGEROUS”. There was a whole thing where something escaped from the not-Fade and possessed the blacksmith and she went around accusing poor single mom diner-lady of being a witch and we had to gather a whole bunch of stuff to do a (very quiet, very stealthy, very non-contact) exorcism just as possessed-blacksmith was about to give testimony at a literal, actual, everyone-in-town-must-attend witch trial. Funnily, no one has actually pointed a finger at an actual witch yet. The coven includes our Tara, the cute bar owner guy, the lovely lady who runs the general store, the local florist lady (not sure where she’s from but also not white), the classy doctor lady and the old gentleman from probably-Poland. But the entity possessing the blacksmith shouts ‘WITCH’ at the lady who runs the diner, who was only out after curfew to look for her wander-happy daughter who was out past curfew. (Oh, yeah, apparently we have a curfew and a Neighbourhood Watch set up to catch people wandering into the forest at night. Joke’s on you motherfuckers; I have a broomstick and can fly right over your bigoted judgemental asses. And by the way, witches - by which I mean me - ENDED THE DROUGHT YOU HAD OVER THE SUMMER, so you can fuck all the way off.) Apparently this is going to get dumber at some point.

I think that’s the thing - you can get a little bored with the average farming sim after awhile, but this one has plot, and that plot is ... fairly wild, all things considered. Deals with themes of intolerance and persecution while still being diverse, does its homework about other cultures, and while there are fetch quests of a kind, they’re spaced out with enough fairly meaty and occasionally time-sensitive quests that there’s more investment than just “you know, crops”. Though I am currently celebrating as how I finally got enough compost together for rich soil to have a hay field, so I won’t have to rely on smarmy grifter dude for my animal feed anymore.

Also some of the farm animals have weird favourite treats. WHY THE FUCK DOES A SHEEP WANT TO EAT A LEMON?!? WHY DOES A CHICKEN WANT TO, FOR THAT MATTER?!?

Eh, I should probably throw clothes on and head out for a bit. See if I can nap after some time spent on a bus and a trawl through a grocery store. Might see if I can pick up the fixings for one of the dishes from my Baking Dish cookbook. I’ve been a bit too wiped to do anything this week - for which I entirely blame being stuck with more of the long typing than is feasible because of the combination of Scruffman, Temp, and Violet. At least I booked myself some time off in the not-too-distant future. Fine, it’s in like three weeks, but I can manage.

[the-bjd-community-confess]

Econ anon here again just wanted to reply to some of the comments https://at.tumblr.com/the-bjd-community-confess/not-quite/x59g10p6gbrq

Thank you for your input and healthy discussion, warms my nerdy lil heart!! 🥹

Regarding e-commerce sites, I’m speaking purely in terms of maximizing efficiency for buying and selling on the second hand market. Far easier to sort through items on eBay than the #bjdsales IG hashtag for example. Also that’s why so many (Western people at least) end up buying recasts entering the hobby as there aren’t very many luxury goods today that you can’t buy legit off of e-commerce sites. You aren’t wrong as to the “why” knowledgable legit BJD buyers don’t list/search those sites but the result is still an overall hindrance to legitimate secondhand market transactions. 

Regarding unknown buyers/sellers, this originally started back in the early 2000s when there were little to no recasts. The concern was overwhelmingly getting scammed and having someone run off with your money. Even now it’s rarely an issue an informed buyer is being sold a recast or being tricked into buying one. Most transaction issues with unknowns revolve around sale scams for legit dolls and items. I’d say recasts are part of the concern now, but that can usually be assuaged with a CoA verification . But overall even without recasts not selling/buying to/from unknowns would still be standard. 

Great comments regarding IP issues and price. Although I will say what you mean by “inflexible” actually means more flexible or more elastic in economic terms.  Lol it is a bit confusing but basically what’s considered “flexible” isn’t based on whether the price of an item ever increases or decreases or the frequency it does, its based on people’s willingness to buy when it does change. We are essentially saying the same thing though!  Companies that raise their prices will be generally unsuccessful.  

Taking this a step further this actually made me really consider if the BJD market is a competitive market as a whole. I would say the smaller companies and independent artists are price takers, meaning the above theory would apply to them as they cannot set a price in the market on their own. The market determines the price. Ex, heads are usually anywhere from $85-160 (depending on skin tone, size, etc). An artist charging $300+ for their head without any other extras, faceup, etc. would be looked at like they were insane lol. 

HOWEVER, companies like V0lks and Soom are more likely Monopolies. They can set that higher price themselves regardless of the market and consumers are willing to pay it because of their brand and products (superior goods).

Soom especially quality is rather mid in comparison to the prices they charge for a basic nude doll. Many people complain about QA issues of head cap magnets being weak, obvious seam lines, the resin skin tones are not consistent between batches, need to be wired/sueded to pose, jointed hands are DYI kits, etc. Yet they are still widely popular despite all these quality issues.  But it’s also a big trait of Monopolies in economics that they do not have to prioritize quality above all else as people will want them regardless. V0lks on the other hand has higher quality standards but they have their own unique way of selling and offering dolls (lotteries, one-offs, not being able to buy blank dolls, full sets coming with glued in eyes, etc) that people do complain about often yet there are still thriving in business.

Not to mention both V0lks and Soom come out with limiteds and full sets that can be 3x-5x times the price of an average BJD doll already costing hundreds. They don’t even have to offer heads because they know people will want the sculpt enough to buy the full doll. 

Going back to IP I don’t know much about IP law but I am not surprised at the costs to go through legal proceeds being ridiculously high, which you are right is likely the reason they don’t enforce. However, I don’t think it’s because the dolls are underpriced though. It’s likely even if they were able to charge say $300 a head, they still wouldn’t be able to generate enough to cover legal costs. Lawyers can be $300 & up an hour in addition to retainer fees. Only V0lks I would guess would have the resources to sue and even with them its likely the opportunity costs aren’t worth it to them. 

At that level it’s never really about the principle of fighting for your IP and all about the money. Now if a multi-billion dollar company like Matt3l started stealing V0lks IP, you bet it would be worth then to sue. Not to mention they could likely get attorneys who would work for a percentage of the amount won, rather than charge hourly saving on the up front costs of legal expenses. But that usually just happens in extremely high profile situations when lots of money are involved. That’s why you rarely hear of anyone suing anyone else over IP if they themselves or the person they are suing aren’t a big corporation with lots of money, the costs wouldn’t be worth the reward otherwise. 

Regarding Lou, I don’t think the argument about Lou its a bizarre at all. What you are suggesting would be a duopoly or a cartel (no not the drug kind lol!). Cartels in Econ are companies who each agree to make a certain amount of an item so they can split market profits on that item rather than compete (usually illegal to form in most industries due to anti-trust laws etc). Although I do think someone mentioned it in the comments too, the downside of cartels is one side (Lou in this case) is incentivized to cheat. Companies would be wary giving Lou molds as he could essentially then do what he wants, sell for lower prices, produce more than agreed upon, not give them their share of profits, etc, etc.  There is no promise he wouldn’t sell more than he is supposed to or even if they did give him an exclusive sculpt he could use it to copy and make his own (like he has before).

Regarding overhead costs of legit vs recast. This isn’t true at all that it would be more expensive for Lou to go legit or that he is saving lots of money by stealing at this stage. Although there are heavy fixed costs in the short run of starting a business, Lou is now a successful recaster. He has the materials and resources to sculpt his own if he wanted to. The start up costs of getting a warehouse, resin, casting materials, etc, for his recast business far out way the costs of spending a bit more time refining a doll with sculpting, sanding, etc. Time is the main cost in sculpting original creations rather than money. 

For proof of this look no further than some of the western artists presales on IG. They will get people excited with their sculpting process and get lots of preorders. But when it actually comes to paying a caster and getting other supplies to produce the doll that’s when they flop. They either take way longer to deliver or out right become a scammer and don’t deliver dolls because the overhead costs of producing the doll were way higher than sculpting one, even when they weren’t the ones doing the casting themselves (short run vs long run marginal costs). 

However, this is a pipe dream Lou going legit honestly. It’s far more lucrative and brings more economic profit for him to remain a recaster having a monopoly on it being the main recaster. If he were to go legit, another recaster seeing opportunity would take his spot. Thats why even if Lou’s recast factory blew up tomorrow and he left the businesses, it would only be a matter of time before another recaster took his spot.

~Anonymous

[bohemian-rhapsody-in-blue]

Beboptober Day 9: Something Good

Thanks to @thestarlightsymphony​ for the prompt list! I’m publishing two fics today (10/9, although I guess technically 10/10 since it’s after midnight in my time zone) to make up for falling behind on Day 7. You can read my fic for Day 8, Sacrifice, right here!

“What have you got there, Ed?” said Jet, looking down at the girl with amusement over the multitude of plastic grocery bags in his arms.

“Something good!” Ed said cheerily, brandishing the two puffy, shiny things out in front of her, one in each of her hands. “Something good for Ed!”

The three adults on the ship had ostensibly been purchasing food and supplies for the ship—in reality, Jet did most of the actual work of buying and budgeting, while Spike complained about what they didn’t have and Faye tried to see how many expensive luxury items she could get away with buying, even when they really couldn’t afford any of it. Ed had been pretty much left to her own devices, which meant she’d set off to explore the streets and stores in the general vicinity, with the understanding she’d meet back up with the rest of the crew afterwards. (Jet and Spike, at least; Faye still wasn’t back from whatever hare-brained shopping excursion she’d set out on.) Ein had been following at her heels all the while, taking in all the unfamiliar sights and smells. Ed always found interesting things when exploring new places, and today was no exception.

Jet, who was on his way to the kitchen to put the food away, suddenly stopped and looked over at Ed with concern. “You didn’t steal those, did you?”

“Nope!” Ed giggled. “Ed found them for freeeee!”

“That sounds like stealing to me,” remarked Spike, flopping down on the couch and taking a drag of a cigarette from his freshly-purchased package.

“Ed found them outside a store,” Ed explained. “And the box said free!” This was true; she’d found the things jumbled up in a hodgepodge of other broken toys, threadbare clothing, and worn-out furniture. These had probably been included because their plastic handles were broken off and they were full of bald spots, with the few strands that remained hanging straggly and limp. But Ed had been drawn to their glittery pinkish-white color, and she loved the way they shimmered and the rustling sound they made when she shook them about.

Jet looked satisfied at Ed’s explanation. “Those are called pompoms,” he said to her. “You ever heard of them?”

Ed shook her head, fascinated.

“When teams play sports,” said Jet, “there are people called cheerleaders, who stand to the side and wave these things about and yell and cheer so their team will win.” He shook his head. “I guess they used to be a lot more of a thing, back in the olden days. You don’t see them so much anymore.”

“Could Ed be a cheerleader?” Ed asked.

“Sure,” said Jet, shrugging and turning back to the kitchen. “You just have to yell things like, ‘Go, team, go!’ and all that. You’ve got the pompoms for it already.”

“So you’re basically teaching her to be even more loud and annoying than she is already,” Spike said sarcastically without looking up. “Great job, Jet.”

“Ah, c’mon,” Jet said. “It’s harmless and it gets some of her energy out.”

By now, Ed was enthusiastically running and jumping around the living area like a human pinball, yelling things like, “Go, team, go!” and “Team, go, team!” and the word “Pompom!” over and over again.

“And if it ever gets to be too much,” said Jet, raising a half-joking eyebrow, “you know where the aspirin is.”

“What’s going on in here?” asked Faye, wrestling a multitude of large shopping bags through the small circular door to the Bebop’s living room.

“Ed found pompoms!” Ed shouted, without preface. She giggled as she held the pompoms high up in the air—and Faye stopped.

She was rocketed back to memories of watching the old Betamax tape that had been recorded by and delivered to her from, supposedly, herself in the past. Of the girl putting on a cheerleading outfit, complete with pompoms like this, cheering for her future self. The girl who was apparently her, Faye—but who may as well have been a stranger. When had she ever been that naïve, that shy, that genuine? Who was that girl?

But as Faye looked at Ed, joyfully performing her makeshift cheerleading routine with her scrappy little pompoms, she was struck with a strange recognition.

Ed had the same innocent, ingenuous smile, if a little more manic, as the girl on the tape, and her cheerful and enthusiastic movements were eerily reminiscent of that old recording from decades ago—in intent, if not exactly in form.

This used to be me. This is what I was like.

And yet, if Faye had ever been this innocent and happy, she still couldn’t remember. She couldn’t reconcile the view in front of her with any version of herself. That girl on the tape, cheering for her, was still just as foreign as before. Lost to her. Lost to time.

“Go, Faye-Faye, go!” Ed yelled, giggling madly. “Fight, Faye-Faye, fight!”

Faye sighed, her shoulders slumping. She allowed herself to give the kid a small grin as she hauled her bags back to her quarters. She may no longer have had a past self cheering for her. But at least she had someone in her corner, as weird and wacky as that someone may have been. That was something good.

And as she watched Ed, she felt almost sentimental, protective. She hoped beyond hope that this innocent kid would never have to lose herself like this. That she’d never suffer a similar fate.

[regalserpent]

Loving the moment was something that we were told. Something that was doable for the people before us, but something that is near impossible to do now. How can you live in the moment when the world is falling apart around you? When people are running, fleeing, and dying because of flooding and fires that rip through both natural and manmade terrain. When the rights of people are being ripped away, things the people fought and died for are now out of our reach once again.

Where some people have the most luxurious lives, while others have to trek simply to get a glass of water. Where some people spend hours collecting the perfect outfit, going store to store picking up whatever they can, for as cheap as they can. Only to wear it once, throw it out, not one thought to the people who slave away to create that clothing. Working in conditions the rich world could never imagine, for a wage that doesn’t even cover basic living costs.

But live in the moment. Be glad for what you have. The internet make everything so much easier, now we don’t have to send letters to family, we can just message. But the internet functions in echoes for every good thing is an every growing list of bad things. All the information is available now, we can’t live in ignorance pretending the whole world is perfect. Not when I can see exactly how bad some people have it.

You can’t say enjoy the moment, the world is so much better then it used to be.

You can’t say it’s perfect though.

Not when we all know for a fact that it isn’t.

[unseelie-grimalkin]

Hello, welcome to Grimalkin’s Flannán Conspiracy Board. This is an exercise in three basic principles:

Research

Shitposting

Screamming

Unfortunately, it’s not the normal kind of RSS feed, but hey. You’ve got this document. May it bring joy and brainworms in equal measure.

However, first: a disclaimer. Three of them, actually.

While I talk about topics here in the tone and diction of an expert, I am very much someone digging in old books and sharing like an excited raccoon. Most of my expertise lies in Hellenistic studies, Western medieval alchemy, Kemetic anatomy of the soul, and bits and pieces of Norse folklore. This document is very much me reconnecting with my heritage and going “HOLY SHIT” very loudly in a way that is (hopefully) comprehensible and enjoyable.

If I’m right about any of the contents in here, I do hereby solemnly swear that I will not turn around and go “THE DEVS, THEY STOLE FROM MY IDEAS”. This is a statement I have to write down as a show of good faith.

However much I sum up the concepts here, I do not expect the game to be 1:1 with the folklore, as that wouldn’t really give much of a story for the game to tell. Alas, talking about the inspirations though is fun AND brainworm-inducing, so I’m making this document.

Some trigger warnings:

Discussion of Bodily Autonomy and the Lack Thereof

Descriptions of Body Horror (unavoidable with scholarly discussion of Cú Chulainn, I’m afraid)

Implied Discussion of Grooming

So, let’s sum up Flannán mac Lugh.

His name means (roughly) Little Red, Son of Lugh.

His real life inspiration is Cú Chulainn. Put a pin in that, I scream about that later.

He is the only one of countless sons and daughters that Lugaid actually claimed as his own child, gaining the title of warrior-“prince”.

He has been trained to be a Jack of All Trades, with regard to weaponry.

He has things he’d like for himself in the future, but would not count on actually receiving.

He actively avoids situations where he would lose control of his body (avoiding sleep, refusing to drink to intoxication).

He is a sucker for children and those who cannot fight for themselves.

He took in THREE orphaned dogs in the middle of a war, where they would’ve died without his interference. THREE dogs is a LOT of food, a lot of time, a lot of SPACE. But he did that. He fucking did that.

Don’t talk to me, I’m soft.

He’s also real sensitive about receiving luxury at the expense of others, to the point where his room is extremely Spartan, refuses to have a favourite gemstone on account that he cannot separate the abusive mining industry from any stone’s appearance, and a lot of his favourite things in general fall into pattern of common everyday guy stuff, especially for the genre conventions NDM is going for.

He has a tragic past, this goes without saying.

Like we know his DND class/subclass would be Path of the Beast Barbarian, but his DND background might as well be HAUNTED ONE in glowing all capital letters, in Impact font. We joke that he’s straight out of Skyrim, but I would argue that Flan would feel right proper home in Barovia, just on account that the populace is just as haunted as he is (there are also lawful good wereravens there, making it a lovely vacation spot for Maeve, but I digress).

He has a LOT of dog jokes about him. Like. A lot. You cannot ignore this about his character, this is the TEXT of him, not the subtext.

He cannot drink hot chocolate without his stomach getting upset.

If this is simply a dev joke or actual fact remains to be seen. He doesn’t seem to follow the entirety of dog dietary rules, so it’s very up in the air if he’s 1:1 and I refuse to go down the list of “All Things Dogs Can’t Eat” in the askbox to find out. One of you can take the L, I’m not that desperate.

If he misses you, he will wait by the window and stare until you come home.

He gets excited by the merest touch and has to restrain himself to behave and not turn into a humanoid version of his own dogs (no thoughts, only cuddles).

Epitome of Scary Dog Privilege.

His love language combo is giving acts of service (doing tricks) and receiving words of affirmation (being told he is a good boy)/physical touch (head pats).

Simultaneously “uh oh” + mental tail wagging.

This man is a dog, your honour.

For the full text of this, please follow this link here to experience the full Flannán Conspiracy Board (breaker of hearts, left and right).