#so I did manage to make some progress on commissions and will try to keep up with them

[ferahntics]

Minor delay in commissions because apparently my body has decided it's had enough of irl stress and decided to get sick so fckin' good one, mate.

[hatchetmanofficial]

Hallo Gnome!

When you see this please know I’m asking or what I’m saying is meant to attack or hurt you in anyway, but I do have to ask.

I know someone asked when Day 1 and 2 is coming your reply is ‘when I’m finished’ but that— doesn’t explain to much of what’s going on nor feels like a definitive answer.

Like where’s your progress at? Or what might the actually pause be? Are you doing alright? Has things been getting hard lately? Your Patreon hasn’t been updated in 6 months(I know the plushy is the last thing posted but that still doesn’t inform us of the game direction itself), but you know people are still being charged and things are expected, but we have no notice and I only ask as a concerned fan. Is everything ok?

I do love MDHM and more than anything I want to see it skyrocket and the last thing I’d ever wish to see— and I hate to say it— is it become what Sunny Day Jack has become right now, they did too many things at once and never focused on the big picture and everyone got tired. You put a lot of work into this and I know you very much have the dedication. And I believe more communication is essential to keep this and your fans going.

No issue. It’s mostly a problem on my part because of the workload I handle. The rewrite for day 2 is almost completed, that’s what is holding back the game from being released. Day 3 however, is finished!

So as of late, I’m very behind on work. The summer heat cuts off a portion of my work because I live in a shitty house, that shuts off the power if it gets too hot. So I have limited time, sadly. I can’t produce much content as I would like. I put the game aside to work on commissions and the Alan plush. Not to mention I have received some not so savory news the past month. I’ve been still making content of MDHM, just forget to upload on Patreon which is a shitty excuse.

Nevertheless, I’m very shitty at managing, but I will be upfront with everyone. I’ll try to do a better job!

[noneorother]

The art director & the Good Omens book cover tier list of doom, part 1

part 1 l part 2

This is going to have to be a multi-part series because there are *checks notes* 64 different covers that I've found so far.

I am your resident Art Director/Good Omens enthusiast, and welcome to my completely meta-free book cover tier list. Listen, making a book cover is HARD. I should know. But while we salute these artists for their hard work and time, I think we can all admit that once in a while, the vision is just not on. And on very rare occasions, publishers seemed to have managed to commission the cover art directly from hell... 1. The original UK cover

Ahh, the standard by which all shall be judged. We're starting off with a nice & easy cover, with adorable woodcuts of Aziraphale and Crowley flanking a custom Good Omens font! While I have to take a few points off for the terrible kerning of the word "GoOD", the blockprint vibes and general bitchiness of Aziraphale's teeny weeny wittle face, along with the sick colour palette puts the orignial in my good graces. Tier: Great

2. The duelling US covers

Progress! Hail to the designer who figured out trying to make "GoOD" and "OMeNs" fit the same width was a fool's errand, and even managed to IMPROVE on the original handmade title by adding a little halo and devil's tale to the design. Aziraphale and Crowley are facing each other, while also managing to serve absolute cunt. Aziraphale is wearing EIGHTIES SNEAKERS. Crowley's little snake boots have HEELS. They've managed to keep the woodcut vibes and colour simplicity, while balancing out the full title of the book. Both authors get to trade off on who's name comes first! Dare I say, this is a work of genius. I could dock some points for Crowley's sad bat wings growing out of his right clavicle, but who am I to question greatness.

Tier: Blessed by God Herself

3. The Halo Master Chief(?) cover

How the mighty have fallen... As a Canadian child, I was subjected to maybe the most horrifying ad in existence by the War Amps warning children about machine safety. This cover is the paper embodiment of that ad. I am confused by the purple haze. I am frightened by the seeming ethereal flatness of Adam and Dog. I am strangely aroused by Aziraphale's eyebrows, and intensely saddened by the terrible outline/drop shadow they had to inflict on the type to fit "Pratchett" in that god awful space. Tier: WTF

4. Germany, Ein Gutes Omen covers

This cover inexplicably exists in two colour ways: red and teal. I put the audiobook cover here so you could experience the full illustration, and also how fucked up it is that they cropped the book version to include three horse-people of the apocalypse, but cut off DEATH on the regular cover. Points must be given for drawing a pretty slick Bentley, but I think we have to take even more points away for turning Crowley into a Ray Charles/Mike Wazowski hybrid. The ducks are nice. Tier: Not so Good (Omens)

5. Germany, Ein Gutes Omen covers continued

I don't know if the German designer of this cover *knew* that they were using western yeehaw cowboy woodblock letters when they made this cover, but judging by how they spaced the rest of the text at the bottom, THEY DID NOT CARE. And that seems to be a running theme for this one. We get kind of a duality thing going on with the black and pink background, but it just seems like somebody whispered the general themes of Good Omens into a jar, and threw it down a well, and this poor chap came along and picked it up. The baffling choice to align every piece of text on the cover *except* Neil Gaiman's name which is right aligned and rotated 90 degrees (not even real vertical type) will haunt my dreams, I think.

Tier: Bad

6. US, UK The Traffic Jam cover

For the love of Good Omens, WHY. I can think of so many more interesting symbols to put on the cover of this book than the ODEGRA SIGIL TRAFFIC JAM. Props for keeping the good colours and type, but like, I think this cover was secretly designed by @amtrak-official, or someone who just really, really likes public works. Tier: Does the Job

7. France, De bons présages cover

Leave it to France to make sure people know that Aziraphale and Crowley fuck severely. While I can't condone leaving out half the title of the book (and thinking a red carpenter's square counts as decoration), I can begrudgingly acknowledge that Ron Pearlman and Benedict Cumberbatch's love child is excellent Crowley casting. I think I give this a solid dark academia/10. Tier: Good (Omens)

8. France, De bons présages covers continued

Just imagine with me, if you will, the absolutely hilarious reality that this cover posits: Good Omens is exactly the same in every respect, but Crowley drives a pink 1950s convertible. Why do all of the colours on this cover look like they've been pre-digested? Why are the font choices and placement so bafflingly bad. My face is the demon's face holding that car. I feel his pain.

Tier: WTF

9. France, De bons présages covers continued

Minus points for not managing to write the full title of the book once again. I don't know what it is with the French. They seem pretty set on Good Omens being demonic. While I do appreciate a good Bosch-style demon party, the dude in the middle confounds me. All-caps Museo Sans that isn't even *centred* in the frame is just so lazy. I am le tired. Tier: Bad

10. France, De bons présages covers continued

Uhh. The font. The font is okay.... I think? Yeah. The font and kerning are. Okay. OHHH GOD I LOOKED DOWN BELOW THE TEXT WHYYYY. Tier: WTF

END of round one. I need a nap.

[bellybiologist]

January 2025 Announcements and Retrospection

Rolling into the new year! Gonna start the announcements, then go a bit into how the year's gone afterward.

======

January's Poll will be up shortly! The winning theme is "Game Over," and I will go into detail on the poll post. One that could be fun with a broad scope!

December's Patreon Fills are still in Progress! I have the last 2 sketched and partly lined, so they'll be done this or next week.

Commissions are still Open! Comms are still a bulk of my monthly income, so i'm still accepting submissions, even if you're already on the list! I understand the wait time is long, but all commissioners are free to add to, adjust, or change orders they've already made at any time! Just contact me to through any method you'd prefer to discuss any changes to an existing order. Click here for the form for a new submission!

A new Reward Request Post will be going up! Patrons are free to leave one in there even if you already have one from last month's! November's requests will have expired though! So if those haven't been drawn, you will need to re-suggest them. December's will expire when February rolls around. See this document to see whats on the list, what expired, and what has been done!

======

Alright! So 2024. 😅 This was honestly a pretty disappointing year for several reasons (July and November come to mind), but there are some upsides! I managed to wipe out a few debts to help me make the money i need per month a bit more easily in the final couple months... though part of that was negated because rent went up. 😒

I've unfortunately not been able to save up to go visit my boyfriend, and had very little time to indulge personal projects. The one I did start (my OC height chart) is still missing some boys! I'm hoping I can at least squeeze some of that in and also save up to fly north once this year. While I'm not finishing as many commissions as I'd like, I did knock out a bit more than 30 orders, while also filling 78 stream requests! That's very much not nothing, and I'm pleased with the work that i have finished. (Gotta keep score for my own health, haha). That said, I'm gonna still try to do my best to try to catch up a bit more this year I'm going to try to be a bit more engaging on social media as well, especially after the big exodus from, well, X.

I really couldnt have made it without my most faithful patrons and customers, so a big thanks to you guys as well! I'm being tentatively optimistic despite it all, so let's try to make it to 2026 now, yeah?

[dearestspirit]

road

-> xiao x gn!reader

-> fluff

-> wc: 773

-> note: probably ooc xiao but idc i like making him flustered. somewhat established relationship in the sense that you two are already close enough to be friends/for you to tease him, i guess?

cold rain pelted down on your skin, the night's storm raging on. thunder roared, lightning flashing across the sky every so often. panting, you ran through the muddy trails of liyue, chest heaving as you did. after accepting a last minute commission, you were hurrying to make the delivery the commissioner requested. of course, they had demanded it be delivered before the first sunlight of the day, leaving you little time to make your way through the countryside. mud had started to soak through your boots, leaving your footing uncomfortably slippery. tonight's weather has significantly slowed your progress, leaving you not even a moment to rest.

holding your hand above your head to block rainwater from soaking your face, you take a second to look up at the path ahead of you. eyesight blurry, you squint. barely, you could make out a nasty group of hilichurls. exhausted, you huffed. pulling out your weapon, your combat was sluggish. you managed to take out a few, but two mitachurls had easily surrounded you in your vulnerable state.

knocked backwards, you hastily roll over onto your stomach, clawing at the dirt to pull yourself forward. wincing, you try your best to ignore the scraping of rocks against you, the rough stones ripping through the fabric of your clothing. out of the corner of your eye, you see the gigantic ax begin to swing down in the air, aiming for you.

breathless, you manage to call out. "xiao!" you yell, eyes squeezing shut as you brace for impact.

a sudden gust of wind blows through the air, disrupting the monster's attack. startled, you open your eyes to see a figure leaning above you. crawling, you manage to sit upright. around you lay slain hilichurls, their bodies dusting to ash within milliseconds. clearing his throat, the figure holds out a hand to help you stand.

"you came," you mumble, taking his hand. xiao wraps an arm around your middle, keeping you steady as you wobble. "thank you."

he nods sharply, reaching up to lift the yaksha mask off his face. returning it to his side, he breaks eye contact. "it's nothing to praise. if you require protection, i will provide it. that's all there is to it."

you smile, nudging at his ribs teasingly. "are you sure?"

xiao tenses, shoulders raising as if to shield himself. "i… i do suppose i have some sort of satisfaction at knowing that i'm the one you called to protect you." his voice is hoarse, but a redness spreads throughout his cheeks.

"i'm just teasing you, don't worry about it, xiao," you reassure him, making sure to take a step back. his touch lingers around you, but with your movement his grip loosens, arm falling back to his side. scrunching your nose, you wipe at the excess rainwater on your face. "i appreciate you sticking to your word, at least. you'd probably be surprised how many people don't, nowadays…"

xiao furrows a brow, looking at you curiously. "did someone upset you recently?" he questions, arms crossing.

"just this commissioner, really," you shake your head, picking up the packages you had dropped during your fight. "they said it could be delivered at the end of the week, but of course, now they're changing their mind and it has to be delivered before tomorrow morning. they're even threatening to slash the reward in half!"

he nods as he listens to you. "yes, that is unfair to you… come here, i can help get you there quicker." he holds his arm out, allowing you to place a hand in the crook of his elbow to hang onto him.

using his vision, he's able to bring the both of you much closer to the intended recipient's house. xiao's hands land at your sides, holding you still as you adjust to the sudden movement.

"after you deliver it, i can assist you back to wangshu inn. the weather isn't going to clear up any time soon. your journey home would take too long, and you need to rest after the scuffle you found yourself in earlier." he tells you, awkwardly, yet endearingly, resting a hand on your back.

turning towards him, you grin. placing a hand on his cheek, you turn his face gently to the side so you can press a kiss on the other cheek. "thank you, xiao. it means a lot to me."

bristling, the blush on his face is quick to deepen, making even his neck a bright red. "go… go finish your commission," xiao mumbles, hand coming up to cover the lower portion of his face. "i'll wait for you here."

[amavaria]

This might not be as easy to answer at this point in your career, but i won’t know until i ask.

From the time you were drawing to learn and maybe experiment, to current day, when you’ve gathered enough of a following that you can take on drawing as an avenue for making paid work, how have you balanced creation of both original content of your own as well as fan-art, outside of commission work? And how did you approach the balance of drawing what you want and drawing stuff that would probably gather more interest?

I’ve wrestled with both my want to actually draw stuff that i genuinely want to, while at the same time tailoring it in a manner that attempts to appeal to some kind of audience, over the last… 5 years? The latter criteria has been VERY tricky (and frustrating) for me, to the point that in hindsight, i definitely overworked myself over it, and i’ve felt averse to just admitting to myself that content that is TOO original/ personalized being almost all of my output, is probably going to keep me stuck where i am, no matter what.

Hiii, I'll answer this in sections to make it easier so here we go!

How to balance working on commissions Vs personal work and fanart?

The key here is to treat commissions like any regular job (Like an office job but without annoying coworkers!) I work monday-friday and maintain a schedule and set deadlines to follow.

Some people don't work well under pressure but in my case it pushes me to take action. Knowing I promised a client progress or a finished work by a certain date gets me going no matter how burned out I'm feeling. Also keeping a public queue helps this as well as it motivates me to visible update everyone on what I'm doing.

Discipline is very needed, not because you're your own boss means it's easier. People are paying you their hard earned money and it's your responsibility to deliver quality work for them in the promised time.

It's not just drawing, it's social media management, self promoting, bank account checks, regular updates and keeping a good streak of happy customer to spread the word for you!

I draw personal work on my free time on weekends. And sometimes in between when I get particularly itchy about an idea. But I always prioritise commission and I will always make sure to have at least reached my daily goal of work before I start goofing around drawing blorbo art.

It's taken years of adulting, to finally find a rhythm I'm comfortable with, where I can work and still keep my fandom self well fed. So do not despair, I felt helpless at 21 trying to sell a $5 commission but now I'm making $100+ with one single purchase!

TLDR: Treat commissions like a job separate of your hobby. Take weekends free, use your time responsibly 👍👍

How to build an audience

I don't know lol. It sort of happened to me. My main target was always furries (I am a furry) On my first 3 years of 'career' I never reached over 400 followers on my most popular social media, but my income was steady since a random streamer decided that I'd be her artist for everything, so I was able to survive more or less.

On the side I was working on my own OCs which I was lucky enough for randos to find appealing enough to warrant a follow! (Alois here getting pretty popular).

Parted ways with the streamer after hoarding me for 2 years and started drawing fanart which brought followers to me in waves. I'd get into a super obscure fandom (Solatorobo for example) draw a ton of stuff for it, bringing a wave of new followers thirsty of content and then stay because they like furries too.

And rinse and repeat and I got hundreds of people perceiving me (thank you) and even more people eager to commission me (thank you harder)

Important to note: People on different socials have different interests. Example: Twitter has been very friendly with original content but flops certain fanarts. Tumblr hypes up fan content a lot more enthusiastically but original content doesn't get very far.

TLDR: mostly takes good rng, but having a loud social media presence and a steady amount of new content to keep interest is a step on the right direction.

Last... What about burnout and frustration? What do you do?

TAKE A BREAK! TOUCH GRASS, separate yourself from the screen and breathe a moment. Then you come back and join Artfight.

Artfight is freedom! It's a chance to freely experiment with any character that catches your eye. You can try things that you wouldn't do during commissions, a different brush, different layer modes, angles, poses, etc. AND put enough effort on it that would make the receiver very happy 💖 and by posting this experimental work on socials, it got a lot of attention. Most did really great, a few flopped too, but it was overall extremely positive.

Without noticing, you find new paths, new techniques, you realize you can draw better and faster, and when you come back to work when the month is over, it shows!

TLDR: Take a break, then experiment!! You'll improve and find your path. This works different for everyone, but I'm sharing what has helped me.

[drawloverlala]

May Status Update

It’s May! well basically like an hour into it lol 😆, anyways I wanted to write an entry about stuff and the progress on my current commission batch! 

Commission batch work in progress:

🌸 Commissions without background: 11 in total

1 still not started

3 still on sketch phase

1 is on base colors

5 are finished! 

🌸 Commissions with background: 4 in total

still not started: 2

sketch in progress: 3

from last time I got 2 commissions more, that before I was waiting on which listing they were supposed to belong to, it was basically 1 and 1 from each one! 

and yeah, I’m hoping to keep making progress on these this new month! and I’m looking forward to try some other stuff as well!

some more ramblings under the line here

-----------------------------------------------

I recently finished some notebooks I was working on since the beginning of this year, and I’m hoping to be able to sell them on Facebook maybe? I don’t intend to make too much with them since, they’re still far from very professional looking notebooks 😅, but I’m also wanting to invest on more supplies, and I’m taking notes as well to keep learning how to make these better!

I certainly learned a lot during the process of making these XD, I made a lot of mistakes as well lol 

Also, here you can see the 2 designs I did, I did another one but the printer ran out of ink and I couldn’t use it lol, (another thing I gotta invest in the future is inks or maybe a new printer lol) and you can see here my Cinch machine! 

honestly I’m super tired, I finished these today and I had to store all materials and such again... and ugh... I seriously NEED a shelf to put all these machines and supplies, every time I’m going to use them I gotta take them all out of boxes and they are all under more boxes...gotta put them on boxes again and put everything again in order next to my bed..it also doesn’t look all too nice in there, so I’m going to start seriously looking for shelves next month 😆 

Other thing I wanted to ramble about, I recently got into Inkblot!  it’s a new art site, it has like around 1 year I think?, it’s still in development but so far it’s been pretty alright, Here’s my site so far:

I’ve been wanting to use it to put all my commission art, I’ve finally catch up to last year’s work, so I can start posting this year work! I also want to put my other works here, kinda using it as a general gallery like the one I had with Deviant art.

There’s still so much I haven’t put here, but slowly filling with art! still doesn’t feel as my old DA’s gallery and sometimes the site loads pretty slowly, but I want to give it a chance since it’s still pretty new, I look forward to see how it evolves. the community part at least seems pretty chill so far! 

also has this very cool feature, where you can make comparisons!! it has a sort of thing that you move it and you can see the difference between both pictures. 

I’ll definitely still be using Tumblr for art gallery as well, I already have posted a lot of art here anyways lol, I’ve managed to organize a lot of my art with the tags as well, although I think I’ll also be separating commission art without background and with backgrounds, that way they are all not too mixed up! 

Oh also, I’ve learned about Neocities! recently people were talking about it on Twitter, and seems like a cool option for a personalized website! although may first have to learn more about html coding 😆

Neocities is an open source site, you can own a site here and customize it however you want, but you gotta do it from scratch! it’s honestly pretty cool, I think customization of Tumblr themes is pretty close to this,

but even so, if you check the sites from here just for fun, THEY ARE FANTASTIC! it’s like taking a look at internet in 2008, the customization value is so cool!

I personally find very fun the customization options like this, I may want to give this a try some day 😄

Well I think that’s all, this ramble became a bit too long lol but well, thanks if you read this far! 

Hope you have a great first week of May! 

[twistedtummies2]

Plans Are In Progress (Commissions)

Hello, everybody. The current, EXTREMELY belated round of commissions is still a work in progress. My next workdate for them is thiscoming Monday, unless something changes. They should be finished before December.

People have been coming to me a lot recently, asking about when I'll be open again, and what's going to happen once I do. I won't go into detail, because I'm still working out all the details, but I do want to keep you all posted on updates.

The past two years of commission work - and especially this year - have been unmitigated disasters. Last year, in 2022, I attempted a system that I hoped would make it easier for me to get work done in-between rounds. It did not work at all. This year, I tried something similar, while also taking crowd control into effect...and it backfired on me spectacularly, leading to the current, dismal, highly disappointing and immensely frustrating state of affairs. All I can do in regards of the mistakes of the past is apologize, and hope that through this and other future plans, I won't lose too many of you in the process. Your patronage and support, dear commissioners and potential commissioners, is highly valued by me; please never believe otherwise.

WITH THAT SAID...I have learned some lessons as a result of the past couple years, this one included, and I'm going to try and use them to my advantage next year. For 2024, when I return to work, commissions will not be run the way they were this time, nor the way they were in 2022. In some ways, I'll be going back to basics, running comms effectively the way I always did from at least 2020 backwards.

HOWEVER, in other ways, things ARE going to change again. Like I said, right now I won't go into detail, because I don't HAVE all the details. Suffice it to say...for various reasons, I can no longer complete commissions with the speed and diligence I used to be able to manage when I started out. This year has been proof of that, if nothing else. I need to start making some changes in my life, my schedule, and my business management, and this means that the next few years are up in the air. I'm going to try and play things less intensely, in terms of planning, and I'm going to try and do some things that will allow me to give you all my best, without sacrificing my productivity, let alone my profits.

I know all this is vague and nebulous; I'm still figuring out the scheme. I intend to have plans ready for the block of January - April ready by the time I finish the current bunch of stories. So, sometime in December, I will be posting a journal to let everybody know what's going on, and I will make adjustments to my Commission Info tab accordingly.

Please stay with me, people. I appreciate you all more than words can describe. I'm honestly very scared about next year, on a lot of levels, not just comms; I hope my fears will not be justified.

[photoniccyclone]

SFR Update - Making progress

Hey ho! In my last update, I told you I had been outlining a big scene that would be the last one big one in the chapter. While I have yet to finish that scene, I made A LOT of progress on it. If this scene were normal-sized, it would've been done already; the issue is it's REALLY CHONKY. It's probably the longest scene this fic has had by far, so it's taking a lot to get done.

Also, thanks to the scene being so long, the chapter has passed the 16k word limit, so I'll have to see what to do about that. I will probably cut some stuff out or split it into two shorter chapters, as it likely won't be long enough to split into two full-sized chapters. But I know of some... "fluff" that I may be able to cut out to shorten the length, so I'll probably try that first. In the situation where that doesn't end up working, y'all might end up with two 11k word chapters or something because the current word count of the whole chapter is around 18k. And to that we can expect maybe 1k, 2k, or more words to be added to finish the current scene, and then perhaps about 1k or 2k words to hopefully cover the following two scenes combined.

But yeah, hopefully, the scene will be done sometime in the next week or two, and then I can speedrun the last two scenes and get this thing ready for editing, which will require some more time but hopefully as not as long as the rough draft (as always).

Also, I will have to change some things from previous chapters that I want you all to be aware of when the chapter gets uploaded. I'll mention it in the author's notes when it comes out, too, and I'll say exactly what's been changed, so you don't need to go back and read.

Here are the things that will be changing (if you haven't caught up on SFR yet, which, at the time of posting, means read chapters 1-6; don't read through these yet as they may contain some spoilers. Again, I'll put something similar explaining what's been changed in the author's notes of chapter 7, so don't worry).

For cannon compliance, Sol Regem no longer burned down Elarion. Instead, he tried to, but Ziard successfully stopped him, as in the show. This was initially in there because I thought that after Ziard blinded Sol Regem, he flew back to Elarion and burned it down. This belief held by many, including me at the time, seems to have stemmed from the Midnight Star poem. This, however, at least as far as we know right now, is false. Sol Regem did not manage to burn down Elarion, and the more likely explanation is that all of its citizens were kicked out in the judgment of the half-moon. I debated for a while on whether or not to change this in the fic because it is an au, so technically, I can keep it in there and just claim it's one of the things that have been changed, but a future scene is going to need the canon version of events anyway so this is going to have to be changed. It shouldn't be too hard to do. It's only been brought up in the fic twice so far, and one of them is just a change from "burned down Elarion" to "tried burning down Elarion," pretty much. The other occurs earlier in the fic in chapter 1 and may be harder to change because it's one of the things that Zym roasts Sol Regem on in a way that's not so easily changed. So I'm either going to have to come up with something else for Zym to roast Sol Regem on as a replacement or try to still work with the original one and just change it so it talks about him for attempting to burn it down rather than burning it down. I don't know how easy or hard that will be; that's also in the future when this chapter is pretty much done. I just wanted to let you know this will be changing.

2. In chapter 4, during Team Rayla's battle at the Earthblood settlement. Multiple injuries reference arrows "lodged" into limbs. The problem is, I recently did some research and figured out that if an arrow gets "lodged" into a limb, that limb is going to be out of commission for quite some time; it will likely not just be an "ouchie" that will cause you some pain for a while as it's kinda been shown in the fic. I never wanted the injuries sustained during that fight to be too debilitating as it would make some future scenes not work. I planned to make the injuries bad enough to lower morale, but not enough to put limbs completely out of commission. So, this is gonna have to be changed. I plan on changing places where an arrow gets "Lodged" into a limb to places where an arrow "grazes" the limb. So, it grazes the limb instead of implanting itself into it, decreasing the severity. Hopefully, this will make what they experience after the fight more believable, and it shouldn't be too hard to change.

That's all for now; hopefully, I'll see you all in the not-too-distant future!

[keefwho]

June 14 - 2023 Wednesday

10:26 PM

I’m starting to get tired of totally recounting my whole day so I’ll try to be extra brief unless I have something specific to elaborate on. The morning was normal, I had ramen, sausage links, and some fiber one cereal for breakfast. The stream went okay, I’m taking commissions real slow because I can. All I have left is one sketch and the guy that pays double so on paper I should only have to do half the work per day to keep up and that’s what I intend to do, making more time for personal work. When I did my workout I only went 2 miles on my treadmill instead of 3. I did this because of how I did my leg workouts just yesterday and I was going to go to the store which I didn’t end up doing. Lunch was leftover rice a roni. All day I’ve been feeling weird, like I’m out of place and can’t socialize properly. The same went for my attitude towards myself. I was just confused and disoriented. This made afternoon work hard, along with the request winner not getting back to me on time. I should have started working on a new YCH which I did take 10 minutes to sketch but instead I tried starting my next VRchat world but I was very unfocused and didn’t get that much done given the time I put in. This afternoon I played some shipbreaker and was more or less waiting for Daisy to get on because I wanted the company. All day I’ve wanted to get cozy and I managed to while we played Zelda. There’s lots of ants coming in behind my desk which I’ve already taken care of. 

Trying to plan my mental health focus around a weekly schedule hasn’t been working out. In practice this field is too dynamic to schedule. I’ve already started doing what I hope will work better which is writing down persistent goals or reminders instead of timing things. The big problem is that I always lose track of ideas that helped me and need constant reminding. Usually this takes the form of slowly forgetting things that were working for me until I am in complete disarray and hit a breaking point where I’ve forced to do some deep searching again. The only way I know not to forget something is to write it down for later so that’s what I will do. 

In terms of self discovery, I’d say I’ve been making progress. The one reminder I don’t want to forget is to keep telling myself how valid I am. People want to hear me like I want to hear others. I have a voice that I have a right to broadcast. I have desires I deserve to fulfill. I’m learning that self kindness means letting myself BE myself. 

Today I had to keep myself from dwelling too much on past guilt. I feel guilty for a lot that I’ve done, not huge things necessarily but for being an asshole in general for times in my life. Even way back when I was a child. All this stuff is in the past and I don’t need to atone for any of it but I don’t want to repeat any of it ever again. I guess that’s what a mistake is though and the best I can do is learn from it. I’ve learned well how bad it feels to be selfish and to hurt others. That’s not someone I want to be, and it’s not someone I am anymore. 

[theskeletonprior]

[ID: a greyscale banner of a skeleton reclining in rich silks, cropped so only the ribcage and part of the spine are visible. It reads ‘A Year in the Priory’ in white. /End ID.]

I saw a post going around by @maguayans​​ about making a year-in-review post, and it looked too fun for me to resist!

It hasn’t quite been an entire year for me. I started this account on January 18th, but the time has flown right by! I think it’s good to reflect, and this is the time of year for it, that’s for sure. I didn’t want to do it Spotify-style, so here we are. Just the bare bones.

On Writing

This year really marks the start of my taking my work as a writer much more seriously. It was also the first time I was paid for my writing (!!!). I opened commissions, although I only sold any to people I knew. I only published one piece of fanfiction this year, in January--just a little study of Silco and Jinx from Arcane. But I have a couple others that I’ve been fiddling with to keep me loose that I might even finish one day. In April, my husband and I launched our Patreon, and as of this month, we’ve released nine volumes of The Bishop of Black with a 10th on the way! We managed to put out a new volume every month, along with bonus side-stories. I’m very proud of what we’ve been able to accomplish together. In the summer, I came down with some terrible Gorr the Butcher brainrot, but the fic isn’t finished. It is, if I do say so myself, rather good, though. I also immediately became obsessed with Alchemy of Souls, but that fic isn’t finished either. I haven’t had an awful lot of free time, just in general, this year. I’ve struggled to make dedicated time for my projects. This blog has also begun to grow quite well! I reached my first major milestone in October, did a very fun giveaway, and then smashed that milestone to absolute bits. This, I attribute chiefly to the miraculous accident of a post that I made at 2am escaping containment. I did make an attempt at pushing out a few more words in November, but came away with a little more than 5 000 on RAVENOT, which is more progress than I’ve made in some time. I also released a polished first chapter, which stands as a sort of pilot for the project. Some folx were even kind enough to drop a little tip in my jar for it, which was lovely. I did get some little drabbles out, too. So I think I’ve been sneaking out the words fairly well this year. And that’s about it for 2022, as far as my writing goes. I wasn’t able to really get back to my bookmaking, but I’m getting pretty handy with Affinity Publisher and that’s got to count for something.

On the Future

I’d like to try to commit to a few things for 2023. Here’s the list: + complete a draft of one WIP for 2023 (spoiler alert: it’s going to be RAVENOT) + read every day + dedicate time to writing every week (collaboratively, and solo) + consistently include IDs for images in original posts + get back to bookmaking! I’ve been making nothing but x-folds and pamphlet stitches and it’s making me wilt

On Meetings

And I do want to shout out some of the wonderful members of this here writeblr community that I’ve had the pleasure of meeting this year. Warmest regards to: @flowerprose @muddshadow @pinespittinink @impaledlotus @inkspellangel and @calicojackofficial for being some of the highlights of my dash! And of course, I must give mention to those I know and love already: @rosieartsie and @magefaery​ <3

On Reading

I did manage to get a fair bit of reading in this year, all things considered. I would’ve liked to read more, but there’s been a lot for me to adapt to this year. Here’s the list (the ones I especially liked get an asterisk*):

Dune, Frank Herbert They Both Die at the End, Adam Silvera When No One is Watching, Alyssa Cole Manhunt, Gretchen Felker-Martin* Zachary Ying and the Dragon Emperor, Xiran Jay Zhao* Entangled Life, Merlin Sheldrake* The Time Traveller’s Wife, Audrey Niffenegger* A Dowry of Blood, S. T. Gibson* Nothing but Blackened Teeth, Cassandra Khaw Blood Scion, Deborah Falaye Terciel and Elinor, Garth Nix Gideon the Ninth, Harrow the Ninth, Nona the Ninth*, Tamsyn Muir Woom, Duncan Ralston Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke, Eric Larocca manga Beauty and the Beast of Paradise Lost (1-5), Kaori Yuki* Jujutsu Kaisen (up-to-date), Gege Akutami* Boku no Hero Academia (up-to-date), Kohei Horikoshi Kimetsu no Yaiba (1-23), Koyoharu Gotouge Kaiju No. 8 (up-to-date), Naoya Matsumoto* Chainsaw Man (up-to-date), Tatsuki Fujimoto* Utena: After the Revolution, Chiho Saito JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure (part 1), Hirohiko Araki

And that’s all, really. I wonder where we’ll be this time next year.

[jxthics]

howd you get started with commissions? i’m starting college soon and need the extra income but i don’t know how to start building a “presence” online

hi! this is a really good question but it requires a very, very long answer. i will do my best to split it up into sections and break it down to the best of my ability, but i am not a very articulate person. so if anyone reads this and has any further (specific) questions please feel free to ask!! thank you!!

to answer the question directly: i got into commissions in a really stupid way and no one should get started with commissions the way i did. i'm not going to go into detail, but i was in a really bad situation and i had to pick up work so that i would stop doing different things for money. i was underprepared, and i made a lot of mistakes, some of which i'm still trying to unlearn to this day. i didn't have any better options, but damn.

that's why i'm going to split up some things i wish i knew at the start of taking commissions For You! i've been taking them steadily for a little over 5 years now, a little over a year and a half fulltime if my math is right, and it's been a long series of trial and error. hopefully some of these tips will help you avoid those same mistakes and prepare you for starting commissions!

-

SOME HARD QUESTIONS: so commissions are a really great way to make money off of your art but it is a job. especially in the current hustle culture model and the way that art is undervalued, i feel like this gets really overlooked. it's not a side gig, it's a full job with a ton of demands, and a really, really taxing one at times. i've seen a lot of people - myself included - underestimate the amount of work that comms take and end up eating the cost later. a lot of the "scams" you see online are genuine people who are just insanely overwhelmed and unable to fulfill the demands of the job, and end up just taking money and ghosting people. you don't want to be that person, i don't want to be that person. so don't be that person.

but like pretty much any job it has requirements. especially because you're self-managing, it has a lot of very unique ones. i am not listing these to discourage anyone from taking commissions; this list is to make sure you are actually ready for this job. note that art skill is not on this list - anyone at any level of ability can take commissions. these are soft skills you need for this job, how good you draw is not one of them.

some questions for you, before you start commissions. these are for you to think about and answer to yourself honestly: - can i make myself available to people? i consistently reply to messages? will i avoid messages, or hide from people when overwhelmed? am i able to make my work schedule and turnaround time known to people (i.e. a visible queue), and stick to that? can i send messages regularly enough for progress check-ins, wips? if people ask me unexpected questions, will i be willing to answer them? can i respond to messages in a sober and clear-headed way that will make sense to other people? will i resent people for contacting me, especially when i'm overwhelmed? if i have delays or unexpected hiccups, will i be able to communicate those without shame? - can i maintain a professional relationship with clients? what about if they're pushy, or verbally abusive? what if someone develops a parasocial relationship with me and will pay me for friendship via commissions? (this happens a lot.) if someone breaks my rules, can i tell people "no" without being aggressive to them? am i able to enforce boundaries to be respected, or am i a bit of a doormat? can i keep up boundaries when money is involved? what if i really, really need that money?* *i will admit this gets.... really hard, especially if you need to pay bills, but it's easier after you've taken commissions for a while. sometimes you don't know the answer to this question until you're in this situation. - can i manage a reasonable workload? you are setting your own hours. can i organize, and be aware of how much work i have? can i keep a slow and steady pace without eating into my other responsibilities? do i have enough time to set aside for this amount of work? if i do commissions, can i still find enough time for college/work/sleep/chores? can i consistently set aside that amount of time without overworking myself or burning out? are commissions going to be a strain on my body (i.e. wrist issues)? can i pace myself while still getting commissions done within a reasonable timeframe? again, what if i really, really need the money? - is my art consistent? if i'm having art block, will i still be able to fulfill commissions? am i comfortable at my skill level to produce art that may be somewhat out of my creative comfort zone, or is the type of work i can do severely limited? (note that i mean things that may be challenging to draw, not things that make you actually uncomfortable. do not take a commission that makes you uncomfortable.) does my style change a lot, or will people generally know what they're getting from me? can i make my work around the same quality almost every time? will things like frustration with clients, overworking, stress, etc make my work worse?

think of this as a list of challenges that you need to be able to overcome - if you take a good, honest look at this list and realize you can't do one or more of these things, try to figure out ways around it! for example, i have pretty severe ADHD and i didn't start getting medicated for that ADHD until this month, which means i struggled with meeting deadlines without burning out. when i started taking commissions seriously, i had to learn how to manage my workload through a shit ton of scheduling and planners so that i don't do too much. i would not take commissions if you can't meet the requirements for these questions - you're going to run into glaring problems fulfilling commissions if you can't do the things on that list, because that is what doing commissions requires of you, every time.

if you can't do these things yet, but you still want to do commissions, that's ok! that just means that's not for you right now. i'd heavily encourage you to save this ask for when you know you're ready. all of the things above are things that can be worked around - like i said, i jumped into this unprepared. i have failed in some way or another at almost all of these, or seen people i'm close to who are also artists fail at these. these are obstacles that can be accommodated or worked around. come back to this later!

if you're good to do commissions though, let's move onto actually getting commissions.

-

TRACTION: i'm using this as a catchall term for getting people to see your work, getting people who will buy commissions from you, advertising. these are different things! sometimes really good advertising doesn't hit your target audience, sometimes people with tons of social media traction who get tons of attention on their art do not get many buyers, sometimes people with very few followers get a lot of buyers. ideally you'd have all of these things going really well for you, but especially if you're starting out with no online presence, you probably do not have any of these things. i'll try to break them into the three different things and what works for me.

social media traction (getting people to see your work): i'm gonna be honest, this part does not matter. don't worry about algorithms, don't worry about posting times, do not pander to an audience. DON'T WORRY ABOUT NUMBERS. if you're putting out work that is only for the sake of getting seen and getting money, other people will be able to tell. the only thing i'd say that matters is posting finished work consistently and frequently - if people can see that you can complete a lot of work, people will be more likely to commission you. but like... i make enough off of commissions to pay my bills, and i post whateverthefuck whenever i want, which is usually "shirtless guys that i find hot because i'm gay." most of what i do right now is OC art that i straight up refuse to explain, and i post as soon as i finish stuff, which is pretty often in the middle of the night. i also don't have a lot of followers - as i post this i'm hovering right around the 2,000 mark on tumblr, around 1,900 on instagram, and 2,500 on twitter. most of my recent art doesn't break 200 notes, and i can count on two hands how many times i've broken 1,000 notes on a post this year despite posting near daily. like... i am not someone you'd probably look at and think "damn this guy has enough of a following to pay his bills with his art" and that is because it means So little. when it comes to social media attention, fall in love with your art and then make a lot of it. do things that you're passionate about. be extremely self-indulgent. you WILL find your niche of people so long as you are doing it consistently and authentically. trust me.

advertising: this comes down to the advertising posts themselves. you need the posts to be clear and legible - avoid handwritten things, find a good font that is clear and stick to it. i heavily recommend fonts that video games use for their text because it's made to be readable while usually adhering to a certain aesthetic. you can have the prettiest post in the world but if it's hard to IMMEDIATELY read, you're going to lose people's attention - think about how long you actually spend looking at posts if they don't immediately draw you in, especially with current social media. you are trying to be a very loud voice in a lot of other loud voices and you need to make sure yours makes sense. inversely, you want your posts to reflect the type of work you do in a way that is nice to look at - this isn't a resume! make it look good, clean it up, make it clear that you are an artist. trying to strike this balance is really hard and it took me a while to hit a point where i was happy with it. contact friends to look at it who will give you honest feedback, especially if you know any graphic designers. if you have a specific style you tend towards in your art (like gritty or gloomy or soft), having the colors and text kind of reflect that also helps in my opinion and looks more like you have your shit together. i make my commission posts generally reflect my carrd info so that it feels cohesive. don't overload too much information in your post - make an extended page with do's and don'ts and any other important information, and link back to that. this is just a blurb to get people to Look at it.

client traction (getting people who will buy commissions from you): so i'm putting this one as a different bubble from advertising and social media traction because even though both of those things HELP, you need some other stuff. like i said earlier, having a lot of attention doesn't mean you're getting comms, and having your advertisements take off doesn't mean you're getting comms either! in my experience at least, something like 1/4-1/3 of your commissions are going to be from people who come back and repeatedly commission you, and the other 3/4-2/3 are people who haven't commissioned you before. sometimes these people don't even follow you and just thought your art was cool! these come up a lot especially if you're doing stuff like flash sales. so with this in mind, client traction is partially showing that you are a reliable and consistent person through social media, and partially showing that you can do good work through doing the work for them! good commission work is usually ones where you have clear communication, you're flexible to the client's needs, maintain a professional relationship, and the work you give them is good! when it comes to reliability and consistency through social media, having easy to find commission information is going to help. try to keep your social media usernames the same across all of your platforms - that way when youre on something like insta or tiktok where advertising is discouraged, they can find your twt/tumblr/whatever and look into your commission information there! also, keep your prices posted. my prices are readily available on my extended commission information -- its the same image i post when i'm advertising commissions! -- so that when i put up advertisements, people already know what they're getting. this is important especially if you want people to buy higher priced commissions from you, as people aren't going to drop $100+ on your work on a whim. posting times when you're going to open commissions also helps a ton! basically just being easy to find and easy to anticipate. s'professional.

-

PRICING

i swear i'm almost done but a lot of people underprice their work. not only is this awful for your health and time, but it's also going to make it harder for you to sell comms. even if you don't have a large following, if your work is too underpriced, people will not buy it from you. it's a concept known as paradoxical value or the paradox of value - when it comes to things that are luxury items (fancy food, arts, crafts), if it doesn't cost a certain amount, MOST* people won't buy it. think of it like $2 gas station sushi -- even if you do buy and eat it, you're probably not going to be surprised if it's not quality, and you're probably going to at least buy it from the grocery store for $12+ if you're looking for something quality.

*i say most because you will get clients because you're underpriced but a lot of them aren't going to be good ones. people who are attracted to work just for it being low are most often really pushy or difficult people. this is where you end up with bad clients who are hard to work with. i used to get treated like shit by people who commed me whenever i posted cheap commissions and ever since i raised my prices people have been treating me better. bad self worth attracts people who will take advantage of it.

so like.... you need to be pricing for reasonable wage. look up what retail jobs are paying hourly in your area (because the minimum wage is usually less, we're ignoring min wage) and use that as your basis. for every type of commission you take (flat bust, flat half, flat full.... etc etc etc), draw about three of that one type by varying complexity, minimum, and time them. take the average time of all of those three and multiply it by your minimum wage. that's your minimum price.

formula is:

(minimum wage) x ([ {commission type one} + {commission type 2} + {commission type 3} ]/3) = your minimum price

that minimum price might seem like a lot, but it is the amount you would make at an hourly retail job. if you price under this you are making less than in a standard job for something that is a specialized luxury field. that's bad.

adjust your prices every 6 months based on your ability, your experience, your demand! i had to bump my prices recently because i have to work slower due to an arm injury, which means my average time is way longer.

-

i tried to keep this as short as possible and ended up writing for almost two hours i'm so sorry.

if y'all have any specific questions related to this, want solutions for better ways to manage commission problems, or just want to know something about the commission side of things, don't hesitate to ask! i'll get back to it as soon as i've got a minute. i actually need to go back to doing comms right now lmao.

stay safe, take care of yourself!

[leeffi]

Full body, full-colour illustration commission for sahlor_ (on Twitter) featuring Tiso & God Tamer facing off against a dangerous beast in the Colosseum of Fools!

Worry not, they do manage to defeat the beast, & then take good care of each other! God Tamer does most of the aftercare, though, since Tiso sustained far more injuries than she did lol. I even have a (badly) written thing involving said aftercare, & who knows, maybe I'll draw it sometime~ 😏

Thank you again so much for commissioning me, it was fun and challenging!

Commission info: lrstudio.tumblr.com/post/183548269032 Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/leaphy

I want to talk at length about this commission and what went into finishing it so if you’re curious about that, it’ll be under the cut!

So, this commission was originally going to pretty simple, just Tiso and God Tamer, being pelted by a barrage of infection, against the usual white bg with a circle frame, like so:

but the more I worked on it, the more I wanted to add to it, and this desire was only fueled by a snippet of context my client provided to me after I showed him the 1st rough draft. I was inspired to take it much further than I planned but I didn’t know if it was something he’d be down for, since it would make the commission that much more expensive and time-consuming

Later, in a tweet, I lamented about wanting to to more with a commission than what I was initially paid to do, and he saw it and somehow caught on and approached me about it. after some discussion, the commission was upgraded to include a background, and audience members. I added the fools later on because the arena looked empty otherwise.

It would have also included the beast but the composition didn’t allow it so it stayed out of frame. and for anyone curious about what looks like, my client wanted it to be this nightmarish hell-beast, also known as

The Primal Aspid Boss

(Source)

With a background now, a lot of redrawing/redrafting took place. I even ended up redrawing Tiso as well because by the time I had finished with all the inking, my style of drawing him had changed a bit and his outdated look was driving me nuts lol

So, what would have taken me a month to complete, ended up taking me about 7-9 months of work on/off. Mostly due to the p*ndemic making life much more hectic & stressful to really focus on art, plus experiencing frequent burnout, coupled with even more stress. On top of that, the commission involved a very large, very detailed background, with multiple characters, and I wasn’t (and am still not) very confident when it comes to drawing both of those things (much less at the same time) but I wanted to take on the challenge of drawing my two faves in an actual setting, and not just an empty void

But lets be real, it was mostly the p*andemic

That said, I made good progress on it but the burnout got really bad just before I started inking, so in an attempt to fight it off, I decided to start streaming the rest of the commission. Turns out, having an audience to keep me company ended up giving me the much needed push to get through the tedious parts of the inking stage i.e. inking every bit of cobblestone floor and anyone who tuned in to watch my streaming that part can tell you just how tedious it was lol

I managed to get to the point of laying down flats before I took a break from streaming, and ended up finishing the rest of it offline because as helpful as it was to stream my work, it was also very distracting and I really needed to focus on the colouring part.

There was also the added hassle of Paint Tool Sai’s memory limitations making it so that I had to separate the file into 2 (foreground and background) and constantly switch between them.

So yea, that was essentially the process of this commission, on and off, over the course of almost a year!

There was many a time when I felt that I bit off more than I could chew, and even contemplated giving up and refunding my client but I just couldn’t bring myself to do that, I had to keep trying. And despite the many hiccups, delays, and uncertainty I faced, I’m really damn proud of how this commission turned out!

This was one hell of a project to work on, and I honestly can’t thank my client enough for being so patient and so understanding throughout it all, it’s really more than I ever expected him to put up with but he did. The man’s a saint, I tell you, and I’m so glad to have worked with him.

I don’t know that I’ll ever take on such a big commission again in the future, but if I do, I feel a bit more prepared.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

I’m not sure if you have something planned for this already but wouldn’t it be the height of irony if Tooley got monched on by a starved Chris when he forgot to drug him? Just opens the door and whoops! He eaten!

CW: Whumper death, drunkenness, some dehumanization, blood drinking, bit of gore, vampirism, some very light catholicism

-

New York City, 1936

KING EDWARD VIII ABDICATES THRONE British Monarch to Wed American Socialite Wallis Simpson

Tooley kicks at the sodden, half-frozen newspaper stuck to his shoe, grunting with the effort it takes to dislodge it. His hands are buried deep in the pockets of his thick woolen coat, and he ignores the envious stares of others whose threadbare outfits are patched, whose gloves are little more than rags wrapped around their not-quite-frostbitten fingers.

Instead, he pulls his scarf up higher, tucks his chin beneath its knitted warmth, and finally manages to send the scrap of paper with its water-stained black-and-white image of a stern-faced soon-to-be ex-king and his Baltimore lover into the street, where it sticks in a puddle and soaks clean through.

The old-timers say a heavy rain is coming, citing their aching joints and bones. It's been a wet winter already, and the absolute last thing New York needs is more rain.

Tooley plans to be holed up in his nice warm little house for the whole of it. He's sold three paintings in a month, and he can spend the next few weeks on the next one until his hands want to drop right off his wrists without having to distract himself with petty concerns like money.

The liquor bubbles warm inside him, and even with the frigid air he's broken a sweat along his back, trickling to his waistband, almost a tickle. He stumbles a little, catches himself, coughs out a laugh as the cold air burns deep into his lungs. It can't penetrate the hazy heat of the drink, though.

Mel's always has the best whiskey, and Tooley has the green these days to pay for the very best indeed. He's spent what might be a whole month's pay - if he weren't the luckiest artist in New York - in a single night.

You might say he's made a deal with the devil.

He pulls the brim of his fedora down, shielding his brow from the bit of freezing moisture speckling his cheeks. He struggles not to giggle like a child.

"Got a bit to spare for a hungry man?" A rasping voice calls out from an alley as he passes. "Help me feed my family, sir? I'm out of work, sir! Got three little ones with hungry bellies!"

Tooley ignores him.

There are crowds like that everywhere these days, always pressing for help, for a little something more and more and more. Men out of work, men in bread lines, women with tired faces and sad children. He's had just about enough of it.

They're calling it a depression, and he finds the term apt enough, considering it seems the whole country's been tumbled into a hole and can't find its way out.

He'd take his muse to Europe and paint there if it weren't for the echoing tension that bleeds over across the sea. Every nation he's idolized for their arts is trying to posture at each other. Rattling sabers while the people sigh heavily and keep washing their laundry, like always.

Tooley was a child when the Great War tore his own family apart - losing an older half-brother to the pointless trenches, a father to the mustard gas that ate his lungs to pieces, a mother to her desperate, sharp grief at her husband and stepson's loss.

The War had rendered him alone in the world before he was even twenty, though he'd been too young to hardly understand it and it had had nothing to do with him.

Wars were for rich men to send poor men to fight in, and Tooley is hoping to have enough wealth to maybe just float right past a new one, if the rumors beginning to swirl came true and Europe is going to erupt. Surely, though, no one would let a second war as horrible as the last happen.

Surely not.

Still, even so, he can simply disappear if they try to call him up to fight. He has no one left to lose, after all. No one to fight for, no one to care for. No one but his pretty little model, all locked away, his to keep.

Tooley takes a sharp left and the streets begin to change from the harsher gray of the city proper into neighborhoods, houses crammed tightly together. It's not the best part of town - Tooley's parents weren't the wealthiest, and he doesn't live like a gentleman, he's got no need to, it's not how he thinks a proper artist should live anyway. Have to keep up the image of the nearly-starving creative genius, after all.

There are still lights in some windows, despite the late hour. Tooley isn't the only one drunk at midnight and still moving.

It's a mile or so from the start of his street to where his house is nestled between two others, close enough he could reach out his kitchen window and touch the brick of the home next door. He smiles a little. His nose aches with the cold at the tip of it, but that's nothing to worry himself over.

He's home.

It takes him four tries to unlock his front door, the key jabbing into wood and brass too far to one side or the other. He laughs, breath puffing white clouds into the air, his ears burning with the cold where his hat doesn't quite cover them.

Good thing he's not with a woman, tonight, if his aim's so bad with just his hands.

The thought makes him laugh harder, nearly a guffaw, loud enough that he's sure he's woken a neighbor or two. It's not the first time.

Finally, the key slides home and the lock clicks and Tooley moves inside. The house is chilled in the entryroom, but as he slides his coat and fedora off to leave them on the coat rack and moves into the kitchen, towards the back, he can feel the warmth slowly trickling from the ticking radiators along the walls.

He's due for a coal delivery in the next couple of days, and boy, he's going to need it with the weather the way it's been.

Tooley heads for his perfect little secret, the vampire held in the backroom, once a sort of servant's bedroom for some family that had owned the home even before his own parents did. It's his studio, now, and the place where the little vampire boy is kept.

He unlocks that door, too. A key, a deadbolt, a little sliding lock at the top for added safety.

"Here, kitty kitty kitty," He slurs, and laughs again, delighted at his own little joke.

There's a scrape and a rustle, and Tooley steps back to let the vampire boy move forward, out of the freezing unheated room - Tooley only turns the radiator on in there when he himself is working, it's not like dead things care about being warm after all - and into the kitchen proper, with its little two-person table.

The boy is looking dirty - he's due for a bath, long overdue honestly. Good things he doesn't sweat enough to stink.

His hair hangs lank in his eyes, closer to dark copper than the new-penny shine Tooley prefers. There are smudges along his cheeks, marring his perfect freckles. He's draped in a sweater patched badly where his elbows have worn holes right through, pants that are tied with a rope since Tooley sure isn't going to waste money on a belt for a corpse.

"Is, did, did you, um, did you bring me food?" The vampire boy looks up at him, eyes glinting a little in the dimness, that unsettling cat-like glow-in-the-dark effect. His little fangs flash, too. "I'm... I'm, I'm hungry, Tooley."

"I know you are, bloodsucker."

"It's, it's been, um, it's been weeks, Tooley-"

"I know, I know. Shut your trap." Tooley ruffles his hair, then pulls his hand back with a grimace as he remembers how dirty and greasy it's gotten, walking away to go to the sink and wash his hands. "We'll get t'that. I met with someone very important at th' bar tonight, and first things first, you and I are going to celebrate."

The boy moves slowly, staying half-crouched - he's been hit before, when Tooley didn't want him to stand all the way up. He settles himself against the wall, head tilted to the side. His cheekbones cut sharp angles in his face, edging down to his narrow chin.

Those big green eyes follow Tooley everywhere he goes.

"Celebrate what?" He asks, and Tooley wonders just how old the ridiculous little thing is. He'd said early aughts, hadn't he, on when he was turned? So he'd be, what, in his forties really?

Funny.

Was he locked up during the Great War?

He's still a pretty teenager, but he's probably closing in on fifty. Tooley's twenty-some years younger and looks infinitely older, in his own estimation.

Tooley should look into vampirism, seems an excellent way to hold onto your looks, doesn't it? He wonders if the boy knows how to turn him. They could make beautiful work forever...

Hm.

Something to ruminate over when he's hungover in the morning.

"New commission. I'm taking a few weeks off, give us both a break, but I've got the basic details. I'll pick up a broad, get her all set up for modeling, we'll make us a mint, sweetheart." He moves to the counter, picking up the half-full bottle of gin he keeps there, taking a swig and grimacing, coughing. There's a rattle in his lungs these days he doesn't like much.

"You'll, you'll kill her?" The vampire watches him. He looks hungry, with all those sharp lines emphasized, as though he were a painting himself still in progress, with the outline still written in graphite showing through the colors. He's pale, painted in wash, not yet turned to vivid velvet intensity with oils.

"'Course. You think any of my models would stay alive anywhere near you?" He laughs at the very idea, missing the vampire's little flinch as he turns away. He pulls a loaf of bread from the breadbox, already starting to stale but that's all right, he's going to toast it over the stove anyway. The world swims around him from the liquor, and he catches the counter with one hand to keep himself upright.

The feeling brings another laugh out of him.

The little vampire smiles faintly in echo of it. He has to work to get the stove to gas, narrowing his eyes as it struggles, sputters, before finally a little flame flares up. Just enough to give off a little heat for the toast.

"Fuck. Drank too much. Or not enough." He laughs again, and pulls a knife from the knifeblock, the sharp serrated thin blade best for slicing through the heavy sourdough he buys from a woman down the block. Bit of toast, pat of salted butter, that'll get him through to morning when he can head down for eggs and bacon at Paulie's diner.

Maybe he'll even buy some extra for the hungry men who hound around the doors. He can be a philanthropist.

As he slices, the knife slips off the stale, hard crust and cuts right through the back of his hand, a long line immediately welling with bright red blood. He groans, irritated, and sets the knife down, turning to run cold water over it as the pain flares bright, but slightly muted from his drunkenness.

There's a rustle behind him, and Tooley's mind only belatedly begins to allow alarm to trickle through the warm fuzz of the gin and whiskey. He slowly turns around.

Where the vampire boy had been curled against the wall, a bundle of skinny bones and too-big clothes, there's... nothing.

Tooley glances to one side and sees the boy crouched on the floor by the edge of the lower cabinets, his hands pressed into the ground. He moved five feet in less than a second.

His eyes are flared, wide and with pupils burying the iris in black. He clicks, softly, tongue against teeth in an inhuman way.

Click-click-click-click.

click-click-click.

How'd he move so fast?

"Shit," Tooley whispers. "When's the last time I fed you?"

The vampire doesn't answer, only stares, unblinking, muscles tensing and relaxing, tensing and relaxing. He clicks again.

His lips pull back from his teeth and those fangs that seem so cute and little on every other day suddenly look long, like daggers, dripping a shimmering venom to the ground.

Tooley tries not to blink, too, but his eyes dry and dry and dry and eventually he can't help it. His eyes close, a fraction of a second, and flare open right away.

Not fast enough.

The vampire leaps and Tooley grunts at the impact of the small bony body against his own, his lower back smacking into the line of the counter with a flash of pain. The bread and knife both clatter to the ground.

Panic comes, but it doesn't help. He's still groping to get at another knife when the vampire's fingernails dig into his scalp, grip into his hair and jerk his head to the side to bare his throat.

"Hungry," The vampire boy hisses. "Hungry, Tooley. Hungry."

"I-I know, just, just don't blow your wig, gimmee a minute, I can get you something, just hold on-" Tooley's voice is thin from the harsh angle his neck is being held at, and he swallows, seeing in a bleary haze the way the vampire's huge eyes are focused on the movement of his adam's apple, the bob of his throat.

Can he see the blood pulsing there?

He puts his hands up against the vampire's chest to try and push him off, but it's like pushing against rock. He thinks about painting the vampire as a kind of young Prometheus for a dandy from Boston, tied naked to a rock to be pecked at by eagles, and wonders if the mythological man ever tried to push the rock itself, and if it failed as miserably for him as it does for Tooley now.

"There's blood in the shed out back, just let me go and I'll grab it for you." He pitches his voice soothing and slightly patronizing, like speaking to a whining dog. "Okay, kitten? Just two minutes and you'll be fed, right as rain."

The vampire pauses, hesitates, and Tooley feels his hands working at Tooley's hair and one shoulder, like a cat kneading into your lap before they settle. His little stray. His breathing starts to ease, his heart to slow down, the first rush of panic subsiding.

The world still spins a little, but the rush of adrenaline is settling things into something more solid, wiping away the liquor.

"I'll put you back in your room and go get it for you, it's right outside, good and cold," Tooley coos, and realizes too late it isn't what he should have said.

"There's blood right here, and and and, and, and it's living," The vampire boy says, eyes wide and inhuman, and he's absolutely gorgeous. "Your, your, yours is hot."

Tooley would paint him like this, all feral instinct overwriting the living corpse of an anonymous Irish immigrant who died dozens of years ago. A metaphor, maybe, for the way some of the children who come here lose all their European culture and get boorishly American, and-

The vampire bites down, and all thoughts of art and culture flee from Tooley's mind.

The liquor holds off the pain so long the venom hits before he even feels the way those sharp teeth have breached his skin. He goes limp, dropping in a heap to the floor. He thinks he hits his head on the loaf of bread before it knocks into the floor.

They feel about the same level of hardness.

The knife is right next to his head, lying there, shining in the yellowed lamplight, with its carved wooden handle.

All he has to do is move his hand a few inches to reach it.

Just a few inches.

He tries, desperately, to tell his fingers where to go.

The vampire sucks hard at the wound in his neck, pulling blood from his veins like a man drinking an egg cream after a long hot day's work, and Tooley groans. He can feel the press and pull without the pain, and it's the strangest thing he's ever felt. Stranger than those he's gone to bed with.

The venom makes his limbs feel like stones, weighed down to motionless. He struggles even to swallow saliva, to take a deep breath. His heart never races again with panic. He isn't able to feel it any longer.

Those sharp little fingernails dig hard into his shoulders, the weight of the vampire settled on him, straddling him. A little flirty thought - at least buy me dinner first - makes its way across his mind, barely coherent, slow as molasses.

The vampire starts up his soft rumble, the vibration filtering in through into Tooley's body. It seems like it makes him feel even more frozen, heavy as the ocean and weightless at once.

His eyes are on the ceiling, and he realizes how long it's been since anyone cleaned the corners where cobwebs have grown and grown. They need swept away.

Funny how he never noticed before. Too busy with his art.

There's a moment where Tooley is surprised to look down at himself, as if he's floating somewhere near the ceiling staring down at his own open eyes. When he needed not to blink, he couldn't stop himself, but now the body he is looking at just stares and stares and stares, unseeing, unblinking, unbreathing-

Oh.

As soon as the realization hits, Tooley's awareness of himself as a body he can observe is gone.

There is darkness, and then a point of terrible final light. He feels the grasping of bloodied hands.

And he's gone.

The vampire drinks until the blood stops pumping, until the heart beneath his kneading hand is still. Then a rough tongue laps at the wounds, finding the last few droplets there that still sing with life.

The vampire pulls back, skin flush with life, no longer white as snow. His freckles stand out, scattered like constellations of stars over his skin. The dead man beneath him has all the paleness he had before, they are switched, swapped death for life.

He wipes the blood from around his mouth and looks slowly upwards, breathing in deep gulps he doesn't need but which feel so, so good.

He moves to the stove, to turn it off, but he doesn't quite turn it off all the way. An odd smell fills his nose and the vampire's nostrils wrinkle, but he doesn't know what the scent is, and he simply pulls Tooley's coat on before he leaves, door unlocked.

A few minutes later, a man with his hands over a barrel fire looks up to see a redheaded teenager in a woolen coat far too large for him move under a streetlamp, pausing to look up at it as if surprised by how bright its light is.

He blinks, and the man squints.

The young man's mouth is open, as if scenting the air by letting it roll over his tongue. Before the man can quite understand what he is looking at, the boy's mouth closes and he turns to look at the man. As his eyes shift from being lit by the lamp to draped in shadow, though...

They glow.

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph," The man whispers, crossing himself hurriedly. "Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle, b-be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil-"

The boy looks right at him, head tilted. The flames of the barrel flicker, hissing a little when raindrops start to fall. His lips pull back from his teeth and there are an animal's fangs there, plain as day.

The man feels pure horror at the sight of a demon walking free and unfettered in New York City. He grabs at the cross he wears around his neck and holds it out, his voice trembling. "May G-God... rebuke him, we humbly pray-"

"I, I, I hope that works for you," The boy says, and his voice is soft, and there's almost a lilt of the old country there that the man recognizes, not quite his own but not far off. "It never d-did for, um, for me. Don't worry. I'm... I'm full. You're, you're, you're in no danger from me. When, when, when, when... when did you come here? To this place?"

The man swallows around a lump in his throat, and yet he finds himself compelled to answer honestly. "Two years past, give or take. Came with m'wife and baby girl."

"From where?"

"... Kerry," He says, against his will. He can't seem to hold back the words. "And my wife grew up in County Cork."

The boy smiles, and his horrid teeth disappear when his lips press together. He looks for all the world like any other young man, a bit skinny perhaps and in need of a good meal or three, but no danger to anyone.

But the man has seen the demon that he is, and he finds himself grateful for the fire between them and the cross still in his hand, the shield of St. Michael and the cloak of Christ Himself.

"My, my, my, my parents were from County Cork," The demon boy says, lightly. His lilt is slightly stronger. "Wonder if we're cousins, your your wife and I. Maybe so. Stay home, um, after dark. Don't, don't, don't work when the sun is, um, is down."

The boy turns and walks away.

The man realizes with a start that in the midst of a chilly December night, the boy's feet are utterly bare. He steps over ice like he could walk on water.

There was blood smeared on the back of his coat.

The man flinches as he hears a sudden boom, close enough that he feels it in his chest as well as hearing the sound. A moment later a woman runs by shouting that a house has caught flame, to call for help.

The man looks back at the way the boy went.

He's gone.

-

@mylifeisonthebookshelf @insaneinthepaingame @keeper-of-all-the-random-things @burtlederp @finder-of-rings @newandfiguringitout @astrobly @endless-whump @pretty-face-breaker @gonna-feel-that-tomorrow @doveotions @boxboysandotherwhump @oops-its-whump @cubeswhump @whump-tr0pes @downriver914 @whumptywhumpdump @whumpiary @orchidscript @nonsensical-whump @outofangband @what-a-whump

[alpacaparkaseok]

Book of Soulmates - OT7 Bonus

Hello everyone! Happy Valentine’s day! I know some of you are way ahead of my timezone and have already passed Valentine’s day, but I hope that you guys enjoy this regardless! 

@nochujeonjk​ requested a Yoongi hot & cold au, so I thought that I’d throw together this special little story to wrap up the soulmate aus nicely. hopefully this is alright!

Thank you all for reading, and you’re always welcome to drop in any time. I love hearing from you. Stay tuned for the epilogue to my series ‘Mine’ this week, as well as Jimin’s red string of fate series coming on February 22nd!

premise: how to boys would react with simple day-to-day tasks while managing their soulmate bonds, and how they meet their soulmates

Seokjin - barcode bond

honestly tries not to look at it too much

but there are days when it’s all he can look at

is quite curious about the technology used to scan the barcodes 

when he thinks nobody is watching, he’ll go down to the entrance of the Bighit building and scan his barcode over and over again

he’s a little jealous of the others’ bonds, which seem more personal

but he’s also terrified of the day when he’ll be notified that somebody with his same barcode entered the building

like, how is he supposed to talk to you?

these are usually what he thinks about during boring interviews

but then there’s a day when he’s biking to work

and he’s keeping his head down, just trying to keep out of sight

but he sees you

and he knows

which makes him realize that maybe his bond isn’t so impersonal after all, if he can recognize you without any help of a machine

so when you walk inside a shop and he notices that you do indeed have a barcode bond, which you scan as you walk in, he’s calling Namjoon and telling him he’s going to be a little late

and before he can even think it through, he’s throwing his bike in the bike rack and walking in after you, scanning his barcode

and watches as it declares a match

after that, he realizes he has no clue what he’s doing

but that just makes you smile

every once in a while, Jin will drag you down to the entrance of the Bighit building just to scan both of your barcodes and see them match up

it just never gets old

Yoongi - hot & cold bond

he’s grown up being fairly cold, so he’s used to it

but it’s not the most pleasant sensation

used to take really long, steaming hot showers

but now he just gets in and out as quickly as he can

because he knows that the warmth is only temporary

and he wants you

so when he wakes up one morning absolutely freezing, he can hardly get out of bed.

what he doesn’t know is that you’ve left the country for school, but find yourself in a similar cold situation

Bighit, worried for Yoongi’s health (mentally and physically), set out to find you

it’s pretty easy. a letter, phone call, and plane ticket later, you’re heading back to Seoul just to meet Yoongi and get your body temperatures normal so you can head back to school

Yoongi takes the longest, hottest shower of his life, trying to figure out what life at a warm temperature will be like

but it still does nothing to prepare him for the shock of you does to him

you’re...radiant. smiling from the second you want into the room where he’s waiting for you

and as his internal body temperature soars before settling down to an average level, he just stares at you with the widest eyes

what ensues is a long-distance relationship in which Yoongi claims that he’s cold when you’re gone

you both know that’s not true - after soulmates with this kind of bond meet they have a normal body temperature regardless of distance

but you still cave every once in a while and let him fly you back home to him

the man literally flies you thousands of miles just to cuddle with you for a few days before you have to leave

the boys tease him mercilessly for it

but he just pretends he has no idea what they’re talking about

Hoseok - timer bond

this man strives to be organized - for good reason

he feels like if he’s clean and organized, it’ll make this entire bond easier to manage

he doesn’t very often show how nervous it makes him feel, but there have been a few times that the boys have found him in the studio late at night, eyes closed with his timer covered

everyone is grateful that they don’t have that bond

but Hobi handles it like a champ

he’s smiling when there are only 60 minutes left, because finally, but then he realizes that he’s in the studio

and literally nobody that isn’t authorized is allowed inside

lol you’re totally not authorized

but you’ve also got a package to deliver, which is your part time job as a university student

so when you ask for where you can deliver a package that Hobi ordered online, an intern tells you that he’s in his studio

which leads to you wandering around the Bighit building

utterly lost

and realizing with more panic than you care to admit that you’ve literally only got thirty minutes left before you meet your soulmate

the only thought on both your and Hobi’s mind is how you have to get out

so you take the stairs, when you finally find them with just a few minutes left on your timer

still holding Hobi’s package when you stumble out the doors to find that you’re in a flipping parking garage

who on earth is going to be chilling is a parking garage when they’re about to meet their soulmate?!

Jung Hoseok, that’s who.

he’s debating between driving his car somewhere more central, or sticking around the building

but he’s a fool and dropped his keys

so naturally you pick them up right as he’s running back to grab them, heart pounding out of his chest

needless to say, you get to deliver him the package, his keys, and your heart

0:00

Namjoon - shared pain bond

he immediately apologizes to you in his mind every single time he breaks something an hurts himself

oh he totally knows that you’re gonna give him an earful when you meet

but he’s so excited

like, giddy schoolboy excited to someday meet you

there’s no rush, but he thinks about it a little too much

he’s learned that you must be a little clumsy like him, because it feels like you stub your toe all the time

but he really doesn’t mind

if the boys so much as begin to bring you up, he dies

like the awkward little bean he is

but he also stresses about how he’s supposed to find you

the boys invite him out with some other friends to get him to de-stress

you’re there

he’s there, obviously

and literally everyone else that’s there already is pretty sure that you two are soulmates

so they just watch you two as the night progresses, wondering if either of you will catch on

you literally get up to go to the bathroom and stub your toe on the way out, but Namjoon is so focused on the menu that he doesn’t make the connection. he just frowns a little before continuing asking Jimin what he’s getting to eat

Jimin can’t answer him because he’s laughing so hard

it isn’t until later that night, when you’re at your apartment that you begin to wonder

Namjoon thought you were really cool, and ends up FaceTiming you thanks to the boys dropping several hints

His hands are shaking a little when he pinches his skin, just enough for it to sting

you hiss a little, frowning at your arm before continuing with whatever you were talking about

Namjoon is pretty much out of commission from that point on

so this boy freaking courts you for a couple of weeks before you finally realize that HE’S YOUR SOULMATE AND HE’S KNOWN ALL ALONG

how do you find out?

he tries cooking for you one night and hurts himself consistently enough that you’re left reeling with both laughter and tears 

he’s embarrassed about hiding it from you, but admits that he just didn’t know how to tell you

you tell him that you don’t mind...but that you’re definitely going to use this against him in the future

Jimin - shared dreams bond

the sweetest soulmate ever

with one of the best bonds, everyone tells him

Jimin gets paranoid before he goes to sleep, and repeats “I love you, I love you, I love you” over and over again in hopes that it’ll somehow be translated into his dreams

gets super jealous and grumpy if you dream about guys, even if it’s purely platonic

but oh my lanta does he get so excited and giddy when you dream about beautiful things like soulmates

the other boys are so curious about his bond, so they ask him about it al the time

like, “what did she dream about last night, Jiminie?”

he’s positive that you know who he is, he’s sure he’s dreamt of him and the boys countless times

but he also knows that you probably won’t just show up at his dorm

so he’s dying to have something to go off of, to help him find you

that’s when you dream about your first day of university

he knows that campus

and he’s there the next day, mask on and hood up, flowers in hand

he has no clue what he’s doing

but he just hopes that somehow he’ll run into you

the first day he goes there, he comes home empty handed

instead of being all mopey and sad like the boys expected him to be, he’s even more determined than ever

he’s on campus with a new bouquet every day

on the fourth day, you come running over with your books in hand

he dreamt about this last night 

you’ve been scouring every inch of the campus for him, and heard from a friend that there was a mysterious guy chilling in front of the science building

of course the science building is clear on the other side of campus

so you’re out of breath and frazzled by the time you make it over there, but so happy

and Jimin practically throws the flowers at you, he’s suddenly so nervous

which makes you laugh

and your laugh makes him laugh

and that night you dream about each other

Taehyung - initials bond

ugh this is the worst bond

like, Tae will fight anyone on it, it’s hands down the worst

because he’s met countless people with your same initials!

but maybe fate understands that this bond sucks, because it’s also becoming more and more rare

it eventually just gets to a point where Tae decides to take matters into his own hands

he literally designs his own t-shirt with his initials on the back and yours on the front

fans think it’s adorable

you’re shocked when you see it selling out

soon almost every ARMY owns the shirt and begins the ‘initial project’

you don’t want to tell people that you’ve got KTH on your wrist, because what if it’s not him?

but where there a will ARMY, there’s a way

so tae tae finds out through the grapevine about you

and basically calls you out over vlive

it’s hilarious

staff wanna kill him but can’t do anything about it

but man he just wants to meet you

so with some assistance from ARMY, you guys meet

it’s at a flower festival in Ilsan

tae’s wearing his glasses

and all he can think about is that you look like you belong here, among all of these flowers

so he tells you that, with the shyest, sweetest smile

and you marvel that this is the same man that literally hunted you down using social media and his fan base

you’re still a little skeptical, so you ask him how he can be sure that it’s you when there are so many that share your initials

and he just smiles again

and asks if he can hold your hand while you guys walk around and enjoy the festival

so you agree, albeit a little hesitantly

and as you guys walk around, you realize that you know exactly what he’s talking about

hand in hand, smiling up at him and thinking that he belongs with the stars glittering above you, you realize that there’s no way he’s not your soulmate

he looks down at you and sees that you get it

but he wants to make sure you know it anyway

so he shuffles a little closer and squeezes your hand a little tighter

and from then on, you’re known as ARMY’s soulmate, since they helped you two find each other

Jungkook - drawing bond

obviously, Jungkook loves drawing

he’s very good at it, too

so nobody questions him when he’s off in the corner of the practice room scribbling something on his arm or leg

he jokes how about how you two complete each other because you rarely draw, you write

notes, grocery lists, titles to books, whatever

you write, and he draws.

so if you need to buy apples (they’re on sale!) Jungkook is grabbing a pen and doodling a bushel of apples on his knee

you love it

he mainly loves you

the boys tease him nonstop about it, because it’s so painfully obvious

he’s a goner, and you haven’t even met each other

but he’s so nervous to meet you

and there’s no rush, really

but when he sees Tae trying so hard to find his soulmate, he wonders if it’s time for him and you to finally meet

his bond is the easier by far

and there are so many night where he lays in bed with a pen in hand, wondering if he should just go for it. drop his number, an address, his name, anything

but he never does

he’s so afraid

and he’s so in love that he feels like you’ll freak out when you realize that he’s fallen in love with a person he’s never had any face-to-face contact with

but then there’s this night where all the boys are hanging out together and their soulmates are present (because they’ve all met by this point) and Jungkook realizes how happy he feels

like, he’s genuinely happy. for his hyungs, for himself. he’s lucky that he gets to have this strange little family.

and he realizes that you should get to have this, too. 

so that night he scrawls his phone number out on the back of his hand with a simple note

‘call if you feel comfortable with it’

you freak out

like, fist pumping while also wondering if this is gonna blow up in your face

by the time you’ve weighed all the pros and cons, it’s nearly three in the morning. but you’ve got to call him. now.

so you do, secretly praying that you get the voicemail

but kook is up. of course he is, he’s been waiting on the edge of his bed since eleven pm.

he answers and you realize as soon as he says hello that you’ve fallen in love with this man

which is terrifying, but if he was the one to give out his number, he must want to meet you, right? 

right.

when you do meet, everyone is there. all the boys, all of their soulmates. watching as Jungkook leaps off the park bench and runs to you, and he giggles.

giggles. it’s adorable.

and it’s cute and awkward and a little crowded with all 14 of you, but it’s better than you’d ever imagined.

Jungkook waits all of two hours before grabbing your hand and whispering, “I love you”

so you grab a pen from your bag and smile up at him as you write “I love you, too” into your skin

masterlist

aaaand that’s a wrap! overall, this was the 20th and final installment to the Book of Soulmates! This one was a bit different from the others, since the others are actual mini stories with one member at a time, but I hope you enjoyed!

Happy Valentine’s day!! Love you all! Stay tuned for the fun things coming up! Check my navigation tab to see what’s next!

[realcube]

rq; could you possibly write a one shot about the reader having AD(H)D and has a really hard time focusing on core academics (math, science, english, history) because they feel scared about stimming and/or fidgeting in front of people and so they ask tamaki for help?

tw; very mild angst, fluff, stimming, i use the word ‘embrassing’ too much, swearing

words; 2.7k

it only took a moment of skimming over your latest progress report for you to understand the situation.

you continued to thrive in practical subjects like physical education, graphic design and manufacturing — the three main reasons you managed to secure your spot in the support course — but your core subjects seemed to be lacking.

for the last two years, you managed to score flying colours in all your subjects. but now, it was starting to appear as though your golden era was coming to a close. what was once a report with only scores greater than 90%, was now a range of totals anywhere from 90 to 50%.

this meant you were still passing all of your classes but these grades were only indications of how you were doing now; you knew that if you continued to struggle in all of your core courses, you might not finish your third year of UA highschool.

you simply wouldn't allow for your grades to decline further, so like any good student would, you made a list of ways you could improve.

number one was, of course, study more. however, you were almost certain that discipline and diligence aren't the causes of the issue.

number two was to ask for help from your teacher and although this was a completely valid option, you still felt like the problem ran deeper than your ability to comprehend the material. after all, you had made it this far without having to do so.

before you could even ponder number three, your pen ran out of ink. with a huff, you reach out to grab a new one from your pencil case, until you noticed that in the spot where your pencil case usually sits on your desk, there was nothing.

it was as though the void had caused all your memories of yesterday to come crashing down on you in an instant; it was almost nauseating. yet it, ironically, provided some clarity as to the location of your stationary.

two days ago, after school, you paid a visit to tamaki's house to deliver the gear he had commissioned. however, what was initially meant to be a casual interaction, somehow turned into a game of pictionary (with mirio and nejire there too, of course), for which you needed to bring your pencil case out of your bag. amidst your awkward goodbyes, you must've forgotten to put it back into your bag, hence your pencil case is probably lying dejected on tamaki's coffee table.

this left you with no choice but to throw on your jacket and begin your journey to tamaki's house. fortunately, he only lived a bus ride away from your home, yet you still mentally rebuked yourself for the whole length of aforementioned bus ride due to the fact that every time you would interact with tamaki, it felt like you were digging a deeper grave for yourself.

partially because you always found yourself oversharing with him — not that it was a one-sided ordeal — and you couldn't begin to explain why; he kinda just had a comforting aura about him. albeit you haven’t said anything embarrassing yet but the possibility of that happening was way too large. plus taking into consideration your complicated feelings for each other, leaving your pencil case at his house was a disaster waiting to occur.

or perhaps you were overthinking it. either way, you were now standing in front of his door with your school uniform and backpack on during a saturday afternoon because you had no idea what else to wear.

after ringing the doorbell, you stood as a patient statue in the cold until tamaki reluctantly opened the door and only poked his head out. “hello?”

emphasis on ‘only’, because he was truly committed to not allowing you to see him in his casual-wear, for some reason. a part of him reasoned that there was no way you would expect him to be wearing his school uniform on a saturday, but the majority of his brain was screaming about how he had to hide his clothes from you at all costs. especially since he was wearing socks, comfy trackpants and — most shamefully — a sweater with a small octopus design on it. and what would you think of him if you saw that his choice in loungewear was so childish?! it would be utterly humiliating.

completely unaware that tamaki was having a crisis behind the door, you pulled your most authentic smile and said the line you had been rehearing on the bus, “hi, tamaki. sorry for coming unannounced, but i think i left my pencil case on your coffee table when we were playing pictionary with mirio and nejire.”

“oh.” tamaki was almost too panicked to process what you just said but once he did, he immediately recalled the moment he noticed that you had left behind your pencil case. at the time, he planned on calling you to ask if he could drop it off at your house, but his nerves got the better of him and he decided to keep procrastinating the call until he completely forgot.

though, if he remembered correctly, the pencil case should be lying on his desk after he moved it there in hopes that the convenient location would remind him to return it; which it evidently did not.

“yeah. uh, i’ve got it. i’ll just go get it.” his face tingled with warmth slightly as he retracted it from the doorway, resulting in him finally realising how cold it is outside. in fact, since the eaves of his house shielded you for the climate, he didn’t even notice that it was snowing!

the polite bone in him got to work before the rest of him could react, as he blurted out, “come in, make yourself at home.”

fuck! i mean, it’s not that he doesn’t want you in his house — quite the opposite actually — but rather now he had to dart off to his bedroom before you could catch a glimpse of his sweater. but at least now this gave him an opportunity to change into something less embarrassing.

closing the door behind you, you were now left alone in tamaki’s living room. your eyes followed his figure as he dashed towards his bedroom, “odd.” you murmured to yourself. you weren’t exactly tamaki’s BFF but you were close enough to him that you could tell when he was acting weird.

but you didn’t think to much of it. actually, you were slightly grateful for this weird spike in tamaki’s behaviour because if he doesn’t want you around, that just means you are less likely to overshare and catch feelings, which means better outcomes in the long run, right?

after changing into a plain blue sweater and collecting your pencil case, tamaki strolled into the living room and handed it to you with a weak smile, “here you go.” he almost whispered, patiently waiting for your response so he could mentally prepare himself for goodbyes or another hour (or so) of conversation.

“thank you!” you basically squealed, pulling off your bag to stuff your pencil case back inside. while adjusting the straps on your shoulders, you took a moment to appreciate tamaki’s familiar attire, “oh, i love your sweater; i have a similar one with a cute little octopus on it.”

tamaki concluded that neither of you would be saying goodbye for a long while.

“thank you.” he responded with a soft smile, folding his arms over his chest as he made his way towards the kitchen, “um, so how are you?” he inquired, assuming that it was a pretty harmless question that would simply help get the conversation off the ground while he prepared tea.

“i’m good. but i don’t think i can say the same for my progress report.” you said with an awkward chuckle, standing aside as you watched tamaki put the kettle on. “and how are y--”

“what do you mean?” tamaki asked, disregarding the fact that he didn’t answer the question himself. although, simply put, this was because he found that conversation came more naturally to him when he was with you; or perhaps that is a slight overstatement. he tended to be more curious and inquisitive when talking to you and it wasn’t hard to tell.

until now you and mirio simply brushed it off as tamaki’s interest towards the support course, since you were the one who manufactured most of his gear. yet nejire always teased him as she believed that tamaki’s interest was caused by a different sort of passion.

nevertheless, regardless of tamaki’s motives, you still found yourself consistently answering his questions, “eh, well, i’ve just not been performing as well as i hoped.” you replied plainly with a shrug.

“is that all?”

no matter how many questions he asked, each one still managed to catch you off-guard. “um,” your throat ran dry, which might’ve been a sign from a deity to stop talking, but your swallowing was your way of proving that you did not care. although you will probably regret it later, talking with tamaki always relieved you.

“well,” you started, the lump in your throat growing by the second, “i guess i have a bit of trouble focussing in some classes too. but i mean, maybe it is because i drink too much caffeine? i’m not even sure to be honest.” that was lie, you were  90% sure of what the problem was, but you wanted to hear tamaki’s response before you proceeded, to determine whether he’d be open-minded about it.

“there is no such thing as too much caffeine.” he joked, handing you a cup of tea while he sipped on his own. “so it’s probably something else.”

he’s too good. it’s as if he knew you were withholding information.

“well,” you began once more, trying your best to appear clueless, “i guess moving helps me focus, but no once else in the class does it so wouldn’t it be embarrassing if i was the only one?”

“i don’t think it would be embarrassing at all.” he spoke softly, leading you back into the living room and offer you a seat on the couch beside him, which you graciously accepted. “but if you think it is, then i have something to help.”

before you could say anything, tamaki got up and headed towards his bedroom; leaving you to drink his heavenly tea while he searched. though, only a few minutes passed before you felt his arms slither over your shoulders to hook two clips together by your neck.

“there.” he said with a proud smile, “this is one of my cloaks that i use in my hero costume. you can tie it together so it covers the whole front half of your body.”

observing your reflection in the blackened TV, you smiled upon seeing for your own eyes that everything he said was true. it was like wearing a cape that goes around your whole body, and it had a nice hood! “wow, this is so adorable!” you cheered, then paused, “but how is it going to help me focus?”

“well, you can do whatever you want underneath it and no one will notice.”

ignoring the shady implications of that sentence, you moved your hand around underneath the cloak and he was right! no one would see you fidgeting underneath the cloak, and hopefully the professor’s voice would cover any sounds you made. plus, it looked pretty badass.

“this might work! are cloaks included in dress-code?” you joked, but you weren’t laughing for long as you turned to look at tamaki who was wearing an upset expression with his head hung low, “no.”

“oh.” you sighed, unclipping the cloak and handing it back to tamaki with a slight smile, “it’s fine. thank you for your help, and the tea. it was delicious, but i’ll probably have to start cutting back on the caffeine.” you gave it a chef’s kiss yet he didn’t even chuckle like he usually does. it was almost scary how your true emotions reflected onto him, as it seemed like the whole atmosphere had changed.

“(y/n).” tamaki uttered with a much more serious tone; eyes filled with determination yet trained onto the cloak in his hands. “you shouldn’t be embarrassed-- or at least, I, um, don’t think you should be.”

your eyes widened at how sternly he said the first part; granted, he became flustered when it came to the second part, but it really showed you how firmly he stood by what he was saying. you nodded for him to continue as he looked like he still had a lot on his mind.

“it’s unfair that you have trouble focussing because of what other people think. so my two cents is that you should do whatever you need to do, and, um, not care about other people... well, i mean, you should care about them, but just not what they think about you. because like, you can’t really control that--”

he found himself having to abruptly shut his mouth to stop himself from prattling on any further. especially since most of what he was saying was probably none sense that he mistook for inspirational, or at least that is what he gathered from the shocked look you wore; it was ironic how humiliated he was.

“that’s nice to hear.” you hummed, a kind smile gracing your features in place of the previous stunned expression, “though it’s hard to believe coming from someone as cool as you, tamaki.”

“cool?”

“yeah.” you chuckled, rolling your eyes at his baffled look which he must have been faking. surely he knows how highly thought of and respected he is throughout the whole school. he is in the big three, for fucks’ sake! “there is probably a better word to describe it, but you are one of the most badass people i know.”

“badass?” it was as if all he was capable of doing was repeating these words to you with an innocent yet confused gaze.

“yes!” you enthused, “so, is there anything you even have to be embarrassed about?”

“i do!” he almost whined, and without thinking, he stormed to his bedroom only to grab the sweater he cast aside earlier to show it to you, “look! an octopus sweater, isn’t this embarrassing?”

you deadpanned, unsure as to whether he was joking or not. “stimming is very different from a octopus sweater but go on.” however after a few moments of actually analysing the design on the article of clothing, you exclaimed, “oi, i have that exact same sweater! how is a cute little octopus embarrassing? plus, it would be extra cute on you because you have tentacles.”

in a moment of frustration and wanting to prove a point, he threw the sweater aside and began to sheepishly grab at the ends of his sleeves, “well, you know what’s even more embarrassing? having a crush on someone for three whole years and not having the balls to ask them out! and on top of that, being to nervous to return my crush’s stuff after you left it at my house.”

you weren’t sure if he meant to switch out ‘my crush’ with ‘you’ on purpose or if he was just confused. either way, you found yourself leaning in to wrap the poor boy in an overdue embrace, smiling against his chest as he hugged back. “that was..” you faltered, allowing tamaki to interject with “mortifying” but you were quick to correct him, “i think that was a very unique way to confess, and i'm just glad you did.”

your chuckle that followed was left to echo around the room as tamaki stood still and silent, simply enjoying the comfort in your arms as feeling the pleasure of time escape him. until eventually he whispered close to your ear, “so since i know more about embarrassment than you thought, will you take my advice now?”

you snickered, gently tracing shapes onto his back, “i was going to take your advice either way because if i don’t get good grades and remain in the support course, how will i graduate with you?”

“good point.” he hummed, not-so silently enjoying the relaxing sensations near his spine, “but we are not wearing matching octopus hats.”

how did manage to shoot down your idea before you even proposed it?