#so I could get everything together and learn a bit ahead so I don't feel so overwhelmed

[spncrscasey]

Mine (m.c.)

Fandom/Characters: Chicago Fire - Matt Casey x Fem!Reader, Sylvie Brett, Stella Kidd, Kelly Severide, Blake Gallo, Wallace Boden, Christopher Herrmann, Joe Cruz, Darren Ritter

Word Count: 3.5k

Summary: You and Matt Casey had been secretly dating for a while, and it had gone smoothly since you worked at different firehouses. However, you were offered a job at 51 which despite seeming like a great idea, only made everything complicated.

Warnings: hurt/comfort, a bit of angst, a bunch of fluff, pet names, mention of anxiety, protective matt, kissing, happy ending

a/n: my first fic!!!!! (on tumblr that is lol) i used to write a lot on another platforms but haven't written for fun in forever (other than for school, ew lol.) so i might be a bit rusty so just yk excuse that until i get back into my flow :) anyways i hope you guys like it <3

For the last three years, you've been working as a paramedic at Firehouse 20 alongside Violet Mikami. During that time, you've come to know Blake Gallo as a result of his on-and-off relationship with her. Although he's a great guy, what made him even greater is the person he introduced you to about a year ago— your boyfriend, Captain Matthew Casey of Firehouse 51.

Where could you possibly start? His mesmerizing, smile and his charming personality drew you in in an instant. You never realized how the occasional encounters, transformed into intimate late-night conversations. And before you knew it, those late-night talks grew into romantic dinners and memorable dates.

After months of both of you dancing around one another, he finally masked up the courage to ask you to be his girlfriend. Without a moment's hesitation, you instantly said yes.

Six months have passed since then. Both of you had mutually decided to keep it private for some time in order to prevent any interference with your jobs. The only individuals who had known were your respective Chiefs, just in case something happened.

Your Chief also knew you could handle a busier station such as 51. So, he had just offered you the vacant paramedic position that was left after Foster left for Med School.

Initially, you were excited about the offer because it meant working with your boyfriend. However, now you're uncertain about accepting it as you're not sure how he’d react. While you believe he'd be as thrilled as you are, there's this nagging feeling that it would complicate things.

So you decided to call him.

"Hey Matt," You said once he picked up.

"Hi babe, everything okay? You rarely call me during shift." He replied, voice laced with concern.

"Yeah, yeah, everything's fine." You assure him before nervously adding, "It's just... I have something to run by you...”

"Go ahead sweetheart, what's up?"

"You know how Foster left and ever since then there's been an open paramedic spot at 51 for a while now?"

He hums encouraging you to continue.

"Well, my Chief spoke to Boden and they both agreed that I could fill that spot if I wanted to."

"That's fantastic news!" He said excitedly. "Do you want to?"

You sighed. "I do want to. I think it would be nice to work with you and the experience of working at a busier station? That would benefit me, by a lot. I’d be able to learn so much."

"Then what's there to run by me? This is your decision Y/N." Matt questioned.

"It's your house! I don't want to interfere with the little family you all have built and make things complicated considering we'd be working together while dating and what if they take it the wrong way thinking I only got the spot because I'm with you-"

"Hey! Y/N, sweetheart, breathe." He says cutting off your rambling, trying to calm you down.

"What?" you ask, voice exasperated.

"Baby, no one's going to think anything like that. You're an amazing paramedic and you earned your spot because you're good at your job. Also, no one knows that we're together so they won't suspect a thing. We don't even have to tell them yet if you don't want to.” He said reassuringly before continuing, “And you wouldn't be interfering with anything, I can assure you that we'd all love to have you at 51. This is completely your choice though, so whether you want to transfer over here or not, you have my full support, regardless of what you decide."

You smile at Matt's words. "Thank you." You pause for a moment before resuming happily, "Okay I'm going to go tell Chief that I'm accepting the position! I'll talk to you later Matt."

"That's my girl." He says smiling before hanging up.

You swiftly head to your Chief's office and let him know that you completed the transfer paperwork and are ready to begin at 51 as soon as possible. He nods, smiling, and assures you that he will push the request forward.

It was now Monday. Which also happened to be the same day you started your first shift as the new paramedic of Firehouse 51.

God were you nervous.

You had spoken to Matt multiple times and he continuously reassured you that you had no reason to feel anxious because everyone would adore you. So why were you still panicking?

Matt liked you, Gallo liked you, and so did Boden after the short interview you two had.

You had also heard a lot about each of them through Matt, and they all sounded like wonderful people. So the odds of your new coworkers welcoming you with open arms were pretty high.

Yet despite your best efforts, you couldn't shake the feeling of anxiety that was coursing through your veins, leaving you a nervous wreck.

You let out a sigh, trying to calm your nerves as you approached the Firehouse. You bumped into Gallo on the way which instantly relieved your worries. Seeing a familiar face put your mind at ease, melting your fears away, even if it’s only for a moment.

The two of you engaged in an easy conversation as you walked into the building together.

Upon entering, you spotted a table near the rigs with several individuals seated around it. Gallo eagerly ushered you towards them, quickly introducing everyone.

"Squad, this is Y/N Y/L/N, our new paramedic!" He said as you smiled, waving at them.

Gallo then pointed at a tan, blue-eyed man who was sitting at the head of the table. "That's Lieutenant Kelly Severide. Head of Squad and those are his Squad members."

He quickly got up and shook your hand. "Nice to meet you Y/L/N."

You recognized him now. He was Matt's best friend, they'd been through thick and thin together. It was sweet actually, finally getting to put a face to the name you've been hearing so much about.

Gallo took his time introducing you to the other members of Squad, all of whom greeted you with kindness and respect.

As he slipped into conversation with them, you took the opportunity to excuse yourself and find your partner, Sylvie Brett, who you’d be spending most of your time with.

She stood out easily, being one of only two women in the house. You spotted her in the kitchen, chatting with another girl who you figured must be Stella, Severide's girlfriend. Matt had spoken to you about how amazing they were as a couple, and it always made you happy to hear about them. With a deep breath, you made your way over to them.

"Hi!" You smiled. "I'm the new paramedic here working with... Sylvie Brett?" You ask unsurly, turning your head to glance at the blonde hoping you're right.

"Yes, that's me! Hi!" She answered enthusiastically, hugging you. Matt had mentioned how sweet she was but the embrace still caught you by surprise. Regardless, you hugged her back, accepting the kind gesture. Once you pulled away you waved at the other woman who smiled back at you, introducing herself as Stella Kidd.

After conversing with them for some time and getting to know one another, you headed off to the officer quarters with the hope of seeing your boyfriend.

Once you approached the office that was referred to Matt Casey, you knocked.

"Come in." You heard so you stepped inside, closing the door behind you.

"Hi baby," You said, smiling at him. He looked up from his desk, features softening as he noticed you.

"How's my favorite girl doing?" He asked standing up to give you a brief kiss on the cheek.

"I'm great! Everyone here is so nice and fun to talk to. They've all been so welcoming." You answered excitedly.

"See, I told you everyone would love you. What's there not to?" He asked rhetorically, making you smile as he placed his hands on your waist pulling you in closer. Matt's inability to keep his hands to himself never fails to make you laugh. It was all quickly forgotten though when he drew you in for a more passionate kiss when he noticed that there weren't any prying eyes on you.

As time passed, days turned into weeks, and before you knew it, you had seamlessly become a part of them. Each member of the group welcomed you with open arms, and it felt like you had found your place within the close-knit family they had formed at 51. It seemed like you had found a lasting bond and a sense of belonging with everyone there, envisioning a permanent future among them.

You became good friends with Sylvie and Stella, established a nice mentorship with Hermann, and created a sibling-like bond with Severide.

Most importantly though, to your knowledge, no one had suspected your relationship with Matt.

You wanted to say something, you really did. You didn't want him to think you were ashamed of being with him. But you didn't want the people you had grown so close to to think that you were only offered the position because of your relationship with him; even if you were confident that they weren't the type of people to believe that.

It was an ordinary day. You and Sylvie had just returned from responding to a call— nothing too serious, just tending to a man who had been cut by a broken mirror. Together with Sylvie, you bandaged him up and sent him to Med for stitches, wishing him a speedy recovery.

You were restocking the ambulance when Sylvie spoke up, "So, did you see the way that guy looked at you?"

You almost choked on your spit at her statement, not expecting it. "How did he look at me?"

"Oh c'mon- there were literally hearts in his eyes every time you spoke up while bandaging him!" She exclaimed a bit too loudly making you shush her.

"Who had hearts in his eyes?" Matt chimed in as he walked up to you and Brett, joining your conversation.

"No one," You say brushing him off but Sylvie interjects. "This guy we were helping earlier, he totally had the hots for our new paramedic over here." She said, nudging you with her arm in a teasing manner.

"Oh, did he?" Matt asked in a tone that sounded like he was joking but you could see the way his body tensed.

"It's whatever, nothing serious. It's not like I'm going to go on a date with him." You roll your eyes trying to dismiss the situation.

"You should!" Sylvie replies happily, "You're pretty and single. He wasn't bad on the eyes either, if you know what I mean. Go have some fun girl! Who knows, he could be the love of your life." She adds, winking.

Matt gave a half-hearted smile and walked away without acknowledging Brett, leaving her looking up in confusion. "What was that about?" She asked.

"No idea," You say shortly, despite knowing exactly what was going on.

Matthew Casey was jealous.

It was quite surprising because he had never shown signs of being the jealous type. In the past, if another man approached you in his presence, he would politely ask them to leave you alone, making it clear that you were already taken. Or he’d simply put his arm around you in a protective, not-so-friendly manner, letting everyone know that you were his. It never bothered you. You found it cute, actually.

But this? This was different. He had never acted this way, which concerned you.

After you were done restocking the ambo you made your way to his office, hoping to ease the tension.

You sighed as you knocked, hearing a quick come-in before stepping inside. You noticed he had his head buried in paperwork, not even acknowledging you as you came in.

"Matt, honey, what's wrong?" You asked, worried when he still didn't look up at you. You waited for a moment before continuing once he didn't reply, "Baby talk to me."

He sighs before finally looking into your eyes. His ocean blues never failed to make you weak in the knees. So intimidating but beautiful nevertheless.

"I don't want to keep this a secret any longer." He eventually replied, motioning between the two of you.

"I don't want to either but you know we can't."

"Why can't we?" He said, tone a bit sharp, causing you to flinch for a second.

"Because-" you were cut off by a knock on Matt's door making you straighten up.

"Sorry to interrupt, but there's someone here to see you Y/N." Said Severide as he poked his head into Casey's office letting you know before heading out.

You quickly glance at Matt sighing before leaving his office, silently apologizing. You hated leaving mid conversation but this could be important. You noticed him trailing behind you as you walked out but chose not to comment on it.

Once you were outside, you recognized him as the man you had sent to Med earlier. The same man who had 'the hots' for you apparently, according to Brett.

This was going to be a long conversation.

"Hello!" He said, way too ecstatic for someone who had just been discharged from a hospital.

"Hi there, how are you feeling?" You asked, keeping the conversation polite.

"Better thanks to you, you saved my life."

"Oh, you know, no big deal! Just doing my job."

"Well, I was hoping to take you out on a date as a way of saying thank you." He said with confidence, catching you off guard.

"I'm very flattered sir but you don't need to thank me, let alone take me out on a date. I'm happy to help, love what I do." You say, hoping that gets rid of him.

By now, you were fully aware that most of the members of the firehouse were watching the interaction occur from behind you. Hence why you were aiming to wrap it up as soon as possible.

"No, no, I insist. We'll have a great time together!" He pushes.

"Like I said, thanks for the offer but I'm going to have to decline. Feel better." You say, turning around.

Before you had a chance to walk away, he grabbed your wrist harshly. Pulling you backward, making you lose your balance, and almost causing you to fall.

"Woah woah woah-" "Back off!" You hear the men hurriedly interject pushing him away from you before Matt yells, in a tone that sends shivers down your spine. "Get your hands off of my paramedic before I call the authorities. You have no right to touch her, especially after she said no."

Boden hears the commotion and steps out of his office. "What's going on over here?"

"This man put his hands on Y/N after she rejected him Chief. He was just leaving though weren't, you?" Matt replies, glaring at the man making him quickly walk away.

The second that he was out of sight, everyone turned to you. Stella speaks up, "Are you okay?"

"Don't worry guys, I'm fine." You say looking around at all of them, reassuring them that you're okay. "Thanks for the help. I'm sure he won't be coming back any time soon, especially after the way Casey glared at him." You add chuckling, trying to lighten the tense atmosphere around you.

"You'd almost think you guys were dating with the way he attacked him to defend you," Severide commented casually, using a tone that sounded like he knew something. Which you decided to ignore for the time being.

At the mention of your boyfriend though, you looked up hoping to catch a glimpse of him but noticed he was nowhere to be found which alarmed you.

As the crowd dispersed and engaged in their own conversations, you discreetly slipped away and made your way to visit Matt in his quarters, marking this as your second visit there in the last half hour.

This time though, you didn't even bother knocking and simply walked in.

When he noticed it was you, he quickly stood up concerned, “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

“Oh, I'm alright. Don't worry, it was nothing I hadn't dealt with before in this line of duty, you know how men can be sometimes.” You answered, nonchalantly.

You both stayed quiet for a moment, not knowing what to say. Finally, you decided to break the silence, “I'm sorry, Matt. I don't want to argue with you, so if it'll make you happy, we can go tell them right now.”

He sighed, turning around in his chair to look at you, “Y/N, this isn't just up to me, we’re in this relationship together. We have to make decisions like these as a team. I love you and I want everyone to know that but if you're not taking this seriously and want to go on that date instead then-”

“No! This is serious to me Matt, I love you and you know that.” You cut him off before he's able to finish the sentence. “I have eyes for you and only you, no one else matters to me but you, Matthew Casey.” You add firmly, making sure he understands that.

“Then what’s the issue here?” He asks, tired of the constant back and forth you've been having today.

You sigh and sit down on the edge of his bed before replying, “I just- I've become so close to everyone here in the last few weeks and I don't want their opinion of me to change after they find out that you and I are together. I don't want them to think that I'm only here because of you.”

“Baby…” He says in a softer tone, getting out of his seat to come sit next to you.

You don't look at him once he's sat beside you, opting to look at the floor instead.

“Hey, look at me.” He gently says taking your hands in his, grabbing your attention.

You hum as you bring your eyes up to meet his.

When he's sure you're not going to look away, he starts speaking, “Listen to me, everyone here? They're the most amazing and supportive group of people you'll ever meet. They won't dare say anything of the sort because they'd be beyond happy for us. And if they slightly even think about it, I won't hesitate to go all ‘Captain’ on them.” He says, making you chuckle.

“Besides, I don't want idiots like that guy who can't take no for an answer, hurting you again for a nonexistent chance of taking you out.” He adds.

You lean forward, pressing your forehead against his, and after a moment passes, you mutter a simple, “Okay.”

“Okay?” Matt questions.

“Yeah, okay, let’s tell them.” You reply, nodding enthusiastically.

“I want everyone to know that this handsome man right here,” You say pointing at his chest with a teasing tone, “Is of the market and mine only.”

“Yeah?” He grins.

“Mhm,” You say with an even bigger smile, before leaning in to press your lips against his.

As your lips finally touch, a wave of stillness washes over you. It feels as though the entire world has come to a halt and all that exists is the shared connection between the two of you. At that moment, nothing else matters except for the feeling of his lips against yours.

His delicate hand caresses your face, making you smile into the kiss as you pull him in closer, wrapping your arms around his neck. There's no need to hide your love for each other anymore, allowing your affection for one another to be expressed freely without the fear of secrecy. The rush of emotion flowing through you is intoxicating and God, it is an exhilarating feeling, one that you had never felt before.

Before the kiss could progress any further, you heard cheering outside making you pull away. You glance out the window to understand what the fuss is about when you notice that the blinds were left open, meaning that all of 51 just saw you kissing Matt.

Your cheeks flush with warmth, causing you to bury your face in Matt's shoulder as he laughs at your reaction. He wraps his arm around you, pulling you closer in a tight embrace.

You look up at him, mouthing an ‘I love you,’

He whispers back, “I love you too.”

He quickly leans in for one more peck against your lips, before bracing himself for all the questions you're about to receive once you head outside.

“You guys were betting on us?” You asked amused, raising your eyebrows at the exchange of money happening right in front of your eyes.

“Well, what were we supposed to do!?” Cruz exclaimed defensively, earning a giggle from you.

“I mean, we all knew you guys were head over heels for each other, that was obvious. We just didn't realize you had been together prior to all of this.” Added Ritter, shrugging.

“I can speak for everyone though when I say that we are all very happy for you two.” Said Herrmann, making everyone nod in agreement.

As soon as the initial stage of shock died down, Stella and Sylvie rushed over to you, enveloping you in a group hug, requesting all the juicy details. While Kelly simply gave Matt a supportive pat on the back, smiling at his best friend.

Soon, the questions regarding your relationship began pouring in. Matt drew you closer, wrapping his arm around your waist as he answered each of them one by one. You rested your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes briefly, basking in the serenity.

And at last, you found yourself finally feeling at ease. Your family knew, and they were happy for you. Which is all you could ask for.

[lets-just-daydream]

i wanted more to astarion's storyline at cazadork's palace so here we are with my overactive imagination. also a hug for astarion because bro needs it

Summary:

It's almost time. Beyond the large ornate doors you'll find Cazador; you steel yourselves but a whisper of your name catches your attention from one of the prisoners behind the gate. An old flame.

(aka imagine you run into an old friend instead of astarion running into sebastian)

"No really, tell me more," Astarion said, barking out a laugh.

You hid behind your goblet of wine and laughed at his curiosity. "Have I really never told you about him?"

You had offhandedly mentioned an old flame of yours from a couple of years ago and this piqued Astarion's interest. The two of you sat side-by-side in front of the campfire, the rest of your company already retired to bed and as per usual, you and Astarion were still up.

"No, you haven't. So go on, tell me everything," Astarion said.

How to explain your strange relationship with Xavier. "Well, he's from a more or less noble family in Baldur's Gate and his father never really approved of our friendship. You know, with me being not at all noble."

Astarion kept quiet, sipping his wine as you explained.

"We spent a lot of time together and one day, I stopped seeing him as a friend and I fell in love with him, I think. He felt the same, too. He was walking me home one night after we'd been out at a tavern and when he saw me to my door, he kissed me."

You smiled and your cheeks flushed slightly at the memory. Astarion raised a brow and felt an unfamiliar pang in his chest at your expression. He couldn't help but wonder. Who was this man? Why wasn't he around anymore? Did you still love him?

You cleared your throat and continued. "After that night… I never saw him again. I assume his father found out about us and had him sent off and married to some noblewoman."

"What? He kissed you and then he disappeared?"

"Yes. I still don't know what he's up to now but I hope he's happy and out of his father's clutches."

Astarion put his wine down. You had fallen in love, kissed him and he had disappeared after the fact and you weren't cursing his name to the hells and back? Astarion figured you'd be at least a little bit slighted but you only wished the best for this Xavier.

"Do you still love him?"

You looked up at the pale elf and let out a laugh. "No, that was a long time ago. I still get a bit sad when I think back on it because we were so naïve and full of hope for the future," you said, a wistful smile on your lips.

Astarion knew this man could still be out there. You could still find him and return to him and at that thought he felt his chest burn. He didn't want you to find Xavier. Astarion wanted to be the one you thought of when you had these small wistful smiles on your face.

Sure, the sex you two had a couple times since meeting was great and Astarion had told you that his feelings were more than superficial at this point. But in an act of self-preservation he hadn't told you just how intense his feelings for you were. He figured you felt at least a little bit the same but this Xavier revelation threw him for a loop.

The elf played it off and held his hand out to you which you took. "Still, that must have been awful for you."

You nodded and didn't much feel like reminiscing on the past anymore. Instead, you decided to look to the journey ahead and what you were doing tomorrow. The real reason Astarion was still up tonight.

"Are you sure you're ready for this, Astarion?" You asked as you stared into the flames of the campfire.

Astarion raised a brow at you in question.

You sighed. "Tomorrow. Cazador."

The vampire's gaze flicked to the fire then back to meet yours and he shot you a sure grin that you had learned to see right through a long time ago. "Of course I am. I've only been waiting 200 years for this."

You didn't have the heart to tell him off for the mask he slipped on. Normally you'd tell him that he didn't need to hide his true feelings from you, that you understood him and would never exploit his trust. And with time, he really had learned to trust you. You got to see a side of him he rarely ever showed and you were grateful. It made your heart beat for him in a way you had never experienced before.

But tonight, the tension and uncertainty in the air with how tomorrow would go down, you granted him this.

"I know you've been ready forever but, just know that if it gets too much at any point, I've got your back. We all do," you reassured him. "Just say the word."

Astarion gave you a rare, soft smile in appreciation and leaned over to drape his arm over your shoulders.

"I don't know what tomorrow will bring," Astarion said, his voice serious. "I don't even know if it will happen how I've forever dreamed it would. Pissing on his ashes, enjoying his screams as I tear each digit and limb from his body." Astarion sighed. "Maybe I'll die before I even get to lay a finger on him."

Your heart dropped. "Perish the thought," you said sternly. You turned to face him fully and you rested your hands gently on his cheeks. "I will never let anyone hurt you. Especially not Cazador."

Astarion's lip curled into a slight smile at the way you spat his master's name. You seemed like you hated Cazador as much as Astarion did without ever meeting the man. Not that you needed to. Astarion had told you countless horror stories of his life under his master that made your blood boil and tears threaten to spill.

You stroked his cheek with your thumb. "I'm sorry he took so much from you, I feel awful for what he did to you over these 200 years. I can't even begin to imagine it. And I… I feel strange to say it but I'm glad I met you."

Astarion's brows shot up in surprise and you thought you had gone too far. Too intimate. You dropped your hands but he grabbed one and brought it to his lips, kissing it softly before letting out a sigh. "I'm glad I met you too, you're remarkable and I sometimes feel…" he trailed off. Now it was his turn to get flustered.

"What?" You coaxed.

"No, it's stupid," Astarion muttered as he looked at the ground. A very rare moment of insecurity.

You turned his face back to you and held his gaze, your eyes boring into his. "If you don't want to continue, that's alright."

"It's just…" He struggled. "I don't know. There's some moments, when we're talking like this or even in the middle of our romps, I feel as though I've lived this long because I was meant to meet you."

His words caused you to still and you felt your eyes water as he held your gaze, unsure of how you'd react to his candor.

"Oh, Astarion," you gasped as you leaned forward and wrapped him in a hug.

He held you in his arms and buried his face in your hair, inhaling your scent, committing it to memory. He didn't know what tomorrow held. He didn't know if he'd make it out alive. But he had you and that was enough for tonight.

~

You awoke in Astarion's tent the following morning, his arms wrapped around you tight and one of your hands in his hair. Before he had even properly risen you could feel the tension in his body. You can't imagine the stress he must have felt all night. Today was the culmination of 200 years of misery, pain and torture and you meant to end it.

You stroked your fingers through Astarion's hair and he stirred, his eyes opening and landing on you.

"Good morning, beautiful," he greeted, his voice deep from sleep. "What a sight to wake up to."

You smiled and stroked his soft hair, wishing you could just… lean forward and give him a soft, loving kiss.

When you moved to get up, Astarion held you firmly in place, his eyes never leaving yours. Words on his lips that he didn't know how to formulate. Instead, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours softly. Soft enough that you could escape if he had misread everything. But he hadn't. You leaned into the kiss and slid your hand down to cradle his head as you pulled back. He chased you and held you firmly in place as he deepened the kiss, his movements almost desperate as he rolled you over and landed on top of you.

"Astarion," you breathed.

This was happening. Intimacy. Outside of just having sex. Or maybe this was leading to that but this kiss just felt different.

"Gods, I love the way my name sounds coming from your lips," he whispered against your skin before ravishing your lips once again.

He slipped his tongue inside your mouth and you granted him entry. You were mere putty in his embrace and you moaned softly as he cradled your head in his hand, his movements gentle but with an undertone of urgency. Like this would be the last time he would get to kiss you. You could understand the sentiment and tangled your fingers in his soft hair, pulling him close and taking his bottom lip into your lips, causing him to let out a breathy moan.

You had to eventually pull away to catch your breath, your heaving chest, flushed cheeks and parted lips made quite the sight and Astarion wasn't ready to let you go just yet. He leaned down to claim your lips again.

"Astarion, are you awake yet?" Gale called from outside his tent.

Astarion let out an annoyed huff before looking down at you, hoping that his actions could speak where words failed him today. He gives you one last soft kiss. "We'll finish this later."

You could only nod back dumbly as he stood and offered you a hand. Astarion stepped out of his tent and shot Gale a glare, holding the flap open for you to leave.

"Ah," Gale said to you. "Sorry about that, didn't realise that you were also in there…"

You waved him off and moved to your tent where you dressed and readied yourself for today's stomach-churning quest.

~

Getting into and around the Szarr's palace was surprisingly easy. Astarion charmed the guards on the way in and you were met with little resistance when you entered.

"Being back here…" Astarion shivered. "Can we just get this over and done with as quickly as possible?"

You made eye contact with Gale and Shadowheart and nodded.

You searched the palace as quickly as possible while Astarion sadly explained his memories of the places you wandered. You wanted to stop and give him a hug at every discovery you made but you'd be here forever if you did. You painfully kept your hands to yourself until you found an ornate ring that looked rather important.

After some more exploring, you found an elevator that even Astarion didn't know existed. But as soon as you all stepped in and started descending, he became even more nervous. His body stiffened and his eyes became steely. You stepped closer to him and offered him your hand which he took with a hint of a smile.

You descended into one of the most ornate but cold hallways you'd ever seen. It was grandiose, but uncomfortable and with a sense of foreboding. You all knew Cazador was somewhere down here preparing for the unthinkable. None of you could say a word. No funny quips about the architecture or loot you found.

You slowly descended the stairs and stepped towards the doors in front of you. Astarion's grip on your hand tightened slightly and you rubbed your thumb against his skin, trying your best to soothe him. You didn't think anything could soothe him right now.

Your heart beat intensely in your chest and you felt like you could vomit. You can't imagine how Astarion is feeling right now, about to walk back into the clutches of his master, not knowing if he would prevail. No. He would prevail and you would help him.

Astarion glanced around and you opened the doors, holding your breath and peeking through. You didn't see Cazador, but you could hear murmurs. Voices. You cautiously stepped through and were met with two large cells either side of the hallway, all filled with dirty, ragged looking people.

Astarion dropped your hand and it flew to his mouth. His eyes widened as he looked at the people in the cells. He recognised these people. He knew these people. These were people he had killed years and years ago. Or so he thought. He approached a cell and looked in at the countless people he had brought to Cazador. People he thought his master would feed on and then discard. But no. There were hundreds of ragged spawn.

"I… I don't believe it." Astarion gasped. "I never knew… Cazador was doing this."

At hearing Astarion's voice, the spawn in the cells turned to look at you and it was clear that a few of them recognised him. But to your surprise you heard a soft call of your name. The voice was vaguely familiar and your heart dropped.

You turned to the source of the voice and found yourself face-to-face with a haggard, red-eyed Xavier.

"X-Xavier…?" You asked, shocked. You felt like you were about to faint. "What are you doing here?"

You stepped towards the cell and he mirrored you, gripping the bars with his dirty fingers.

"What are you doing here?" He asked. "They didn't get you too, did they?"

You glanced at Astarion and if it were even possible, he was paler than usual.

"No, I'm– We're here to help you," you replied softly. You let your hand slide up the bar and come to meet Xavier's hand. Tears welled in your eyes and your voice became strained. "How long have you been here?"

Xavier's face scrunched as he tried to remember. "Hmm. I think… That night I walked you home and we kissed. I was so happy and unaware of anything around me. On my way home one of Cazador's spawn took me. It's all I've been able to think about. It's one of the only things I remember."

Your head spun and you felt like you could throw up. "No," you gasped. "T-Two years… You've been here all this time?"

The tears you'd tried to hold back fell all at once as you looked up at the man you once loved. "All this time," you sobbed. "I'd hoped your father had forced you off to marry some noblewoman."

Xavier smiled and rubbed your whitening hands where they still held the bars. "No. But even so, I would have come back to you. Somehow."

You stood back up and wiped the tears from your face. "I'm going to get you out of there, you're going to be okay."

Xavier nodded and looked over your companions gratefully until he landed on Astarion. "No…"

You sensed Astarion stiffen behind you and you hoped the dots you were staring to connect weren't true. You prayed, you hoped, you begged silently. But Xavier's next words pierced through you like an icy lance.

"You brought me here…"

You turned and looked at Astarion and he couldn't meet yours nor Xavier's gaze. He stared down at the floor and nodded, his eyes hooded and unreadable. He knew what he'd done. He knew what he'd caused you to lose. The words you spoke last night could only extend so far and now that you knew it was Astarion who had caused Xavier's disappearance. How could you forgive him? He couldn't bear to look you in the eye.

Shadowheart stepped forward and put a hand on your shoulder. "Come on, let's go deal with that monster and free your friend, okay?"

You nodded, your body moving in slow-motion as you approached the large ornate doors that held Astarion's fate on the other side.

~

It was a hard battle, made harder when you had to dodge through Cazador's minions to free Astarion from the binds of the ritual. The whole time you fought, you thought of the pain Xavier had gone through, the agony and torture Astarion had gone through and quickly enough, the pale elf had his master on his knees.

Astarion was right on the edge of having it all. Being an ascended vampire. He could walk in the sun after the tadpole had been dealt with, he wouldn't have to fear anyone again. He'd be a greater vampire than Cazador ever was. He asked for your help. But you know such great power never came free. There was always a cost.

What toll would sacrificing thousands of souls take on Astarion? Sweet, tortured Astarion who had been through hell and back and had made leaps and bounds to start becoming a better man. Someone you had grown to love. You couldn't bear to see him ripped apart like this.

But then again. You could help to give him this awesome power so few could ever be granted. You did want this for him, really, but your thoughts wandered back to Xavier and the countless other spawn who were waiting to be freed. Who you'd promised this to.

You looked back up at Astarion and shook your head. You imagined the life he could have. "Please don't do this, Astarion. Don't you want to live a life you can be proud of? I know you're better than him."

At your words, the fog in Astarion's mind cleared and he looked down at Cazador, blade in his hand. "You're right. I can be better than him." Astarion's gaze flicked down to a pleading Cazador. "But I'm not above enjoying this."

Before you knew what was happening, Astarion stabbed Cazador, hacking at him over and over until the former master was nothing but a lifeless, bloody corpse. You felt a fraction of the gratification Astarion must have felt as Cazador's screams filled the chamber before slowing into a gurgle and finally stopping. The pale elf dropped the blade and stepped back, a pained cry ripping through his throat. He'd done it. He was free.

He was free.

At this astronomical realisation, Astarion dropped to his knees and cried. He cried for the man he was when his heart still beat, cried for the centuries of torture he'd endured and cried for the life he'd had stolen from him. The culmination of 200 years of torture beyond belief and the aggressor was finally dead.

Astarion cried out again and you stepped toward him and knelt beside him. He suddenly felt warmth as you enveloped him in a hug and he held onto you, turning to face you and sobbing into your neck.

"My sweet Astarion," you whispered. "It's over now. I'm so proud of you."

At this, he sobbed harder for a moment and you ran your fingers through his hair and rubbed comforting circles into his scarred back. You didn't rush him, Gale and Shadowheart said nothing and let him take all the time he needed. After another moment, Astarion leaned back and caressed your face, his own face streaked with tears, blood and dirt. You saw how teary he was and the mixture of disbelief and hope for his future and your heart squeezed.

His brothers and sisters were freed from their magical shackles and one of his sisters approached, asking if it really was finally over.

"Yes."

Astarion then explained to his brothers and sisters what to do, where to take the freed spawn and wished them good luck. As they left, he stood and took Cazador's staff in hand, the following movements came to Astarion instinctively as he pressed it to the ground to free the thousands of trapped vampire spawn.

You smiled as you watched him. You truly were proud of Astarion, he would still be self-preserving and perhaps paranoid after you left but you hoped as time went by, he would be able to relax. Truly enjoy his freedom. You heard voices from the other side of the doors as Astarion's brothers and sisters greeted the other spawn. Your mind wandered to Xavier. At least he would have a chance at a new life, whatever that life may be.

"I think we're done here," Astarion said, tired. "Let's go."

You draped his arm over your shoulder and helped him up the stairs as Gale and Shadowheart led the way. They stopped at the top and shared a look before looking to you and stepping aside. The spawn had started filtering out but one remained near the cells. Xavier.

You approached him slowly, Astarion still hanging off your shoulders. Gale stepped forward and took Astarion off of you so you could have a moment. Astarion shot him a look but they lingered within earshot much to Gale's dismay.

"You did it. You freed us," Xavier smiled.

"Of course we did. I promised you that I would," you said. You swayed slightly on the spot and Xavier stepped forward, taking your hand in his.

"Will you come with me?" He breathed.

You almost weren't sure what he said but the way Astarion bristled and lowly hissed, you figured you'd heard correctly. Your blood ran cold and you were thrown back to 2 years ago, Xavier's kiss and the smile he gave before he left, promising to see you soon.

"Look, I," you didn't even know where to start. Your heart broke for him and the life you could have had together but you had closed that chapter long ago. You knew who your heart belonged to now, if the pale elf wanted it.

You tried to form into words your thoughts. How to explain that while Xavier's life was at a standstill, you continued living, loving and growing. Your heart ached as you tried to form the thought of, 'you know that vampire spawn who brought you here? Well I'm actually in love with him now, so…'

"Don't tell me it's him," Xavier gestured to Astarion who looked about ready to rip the former's head off. "He… he ruined my life, our lives."

You felt tears well in your eyes. You knew how hard this must be for him. He's thought of you nonstop for 2 years and you were about to tell him the man who ruined his life is the man you were choosing. But you knew Astarion. He wasn't that man anymore.

"Xavier, I can't go with you," you said. "I still have so much to do and… it is him." You sighed. This wasn't how you wanted to confess your love for the vampire spawn. You imagined it on a night you were alone and having a gentle moment. But here you were in front of your former love, your companions and the object of your affections all hanging onto your every word. "I know it's hard to come to terms with, Xavier… But it's always going to be Astarion."

You didn't see it but Astarion smiled and his face gained a bit of colour once again at your words. Xavier nodded and pursed his lips. He understood. He didn't like it, but he did understand and the finality in your voice told him that you weren't changing your mind.

"Well," Xavier said, lifting your hand and pressing a light kiss to the back of it. "If you ever do change your mind I'll be somewhere in the Underdark. I'll wait for you forever."

"Please don't do that," you whispered, your voice hoarse.

Xavier smiled and gently dropped your hand, turning to follow his coven of vampires to start a new life.

You sighed and watched as he left, years welling in your eyes. No one moved an inch until Gale and Astarion shuffled over to you and you felt a hand slip around your waist.

"Darling," Astarion breathed.

You could form no words and now it was your turn to cry in Astarion's arms. His skin was still caked in blood and sweat but you didn't care. He held you and stroked your hair as you sobbed into the crook of his neck.

"H-he was down here all along," you sniffed. "And I didn't know. I could have looked for him or… I don't know."

Realistically you knew you could never have done anything but you still felt like Xavier's fate was somehow your fault. Well, it wasn't your fault. Really it was Cazador's fault… Astarion's fault.

"Why him?" You asked, pulling back and looking up at Astarion with watery eyes.

He knew this was coming, honestly. You'd want to know why. How could Astarion pluck someone so innocent from the shadows who he knew was having such a wonderful night? You knew Astarion watched his victims, picked them carefully. He'd told you so himself. So, of course you'd want answers. And he knew that you knew it wasn't personal - he was doing what Cazador told him to. But it didn't hurt you any less.

"Let's get out of this dreadful place, clean ourselves up and we can talk," Astarion offered.

You nodded silently and stepped away from him, leading your small group out of the castle and to the tavern the rest of your group organised upon entering the city.

No one spoke another word the whole trek from the castle to the tavern. The rest of your companions swarmed you at the door but fell short when they saw your grief-stricken face, Astarion's unreadable expression and Shadowheart and Gale's awkward side-eyes.

You stepped past everyone, gathered some of your clothes and retreated into the bathroom wordlessly. Astarion watched you the whole time, wondering if this was it. Was this the straw that would break the camel's back? Would you send him away? He supposed now that he was free, he didn't really have anyone to fear anymore, he might be able to make it alone.

Alone. Not a feeling he was used to anymore. Not a feeling he wanted to experience, especially if it meant losing you.

In the bathroom, you were pleased to see that the bath was already filled with warm water, so you stripped your dirty clothes off and entered the bath. A sigh escaped from your lips and you let the water rush over your body, your thoughts stilling for a moment before you let out a choked sob once again.

You rested your head behind you on the tub and stared at the ceiling. What possible explanation could Astarion even give you? Xavier was one person in thousands that had fallen victim to Cazador's plot, Astarion included. But it didn't hurt any less.

The door to the bathroom opened slightly and you saw white curly locks poke through the gap. "May I come in?" Astarion asked.

"Sure," you said, your voice monotone. Flat. Not something he was used to hearing from you.

He stepped inside and shut the door behind him, standing in front of it. His movements were careful, unsure. He stood by the door with his hands clasped together as his eyes shot from the floor, to you, to his surroundings and back to the floor.

He took a deep breath. "I know there's nothing I can say to make this better. I can't take it back and I can't fix it."

You said nothing, waiting for him to piece his thoughts together.

"I've told you what it was like, being Cazador's slave. I did what I had to, to survive and that included bringing people to him that didn't deserve it," Astarion stepped towards you and knelt by the bathside, finally meeting your eyes.

You'd seen true sadness in people's eyes before and you had caught Astarion in moments of sadness previously. But this was different. He wasn't just sad, he was sorrowful, and fearful. You almost reached out to smooth out the wrinkles on his brow but he continued talking.

"I know he meant a great deal to you and I… ruined so much. I'll do anything to show you I'm sorry. And if that includes…" Astarion trailed off and gulped before continuing. "If that includes me leaving this camp, then I will. I'll leave and that will be that."

"No!" You cried, leaping onto your knees and wrapping your arms around him. "No, I don't want you to leave, ever."

Water splashed onto the floor and dripped all over Astarion but he didn't care. He wrapped his arms around your naked torso and held you close, squeezing slightly as if you might float away and disappear.

You craned your neck back and looked at him. "I am upset. And… It is sad to learn Xavier's fate, but I did mean what I said down in those dungeons," you whispered. "It's you. It's always been you and for as long as you want me, it's you I want."

You hardly knew what was happening before you felt Astarion press his lips to yours in a searing, passionate kiss. It took your breath away and he poured his love for you and fear of losing you into it, never had you ever been kissed like that and you couldn't help but return it. His lips captured yours and you felt his fangs nick your skin but you didn't care, you opened your mouth up to him and he didn't hesitate in slipping his tongue in, tilting your head back so he had complete control over you. It felt like if your bodies could meld together they would and your breathing turned heavy as you fought with not wanting to break the kiss but needing to pull away for air.

You eventually broke the kiss, your chest heaving as you gulped for air. You eyed the pale elf in front of you and looked like he was ready to pounce on you again. You let out a light chuckle and sat back in the bath again.

"Would you like to join me? I'll clean you up."

"My love," Astarion whispered as he stood, removing his clothes. "I'll join you anywhere."

[natsaffection]

hi 👋 how are you??

im having stressful exams this month, a lot of tough subjects, and i'm so frustrated with it all. could you please share your thoughts on how natty would handle r in a situation like this? maybe in the "my sweet baby" universe??

if you can, thank you so much, my love 💖

Together. | N. Romanoff

Sugar Mommy!Natasha x Sugar Baby!Reader

warnings: Just fluff🍀🍀

words: 947

A/n: Please take care of yourself if it gets too much, drink cocoa, and do other fun and relaxing things!!☕️

-

Now you're sitting in front of it again. One stack after the other, and it just didn't stop?

Why did you decide to do it again? Ah...Right...Future...

You were a bit frustrated, you had imagined your days to be different from sitting in Natasha's living room and cramming for hours. Natasha was also busy with herself in a meeting, and you couldn't help but take a leaf out of her book. Maybe one day you will be as successful as her..Run your own business someday.

CEO Of the L/N Company..Sounds good already....

"What are you thinking about?" As if she knew you were thinking about her right now, Natasha stands in the room and looks at you smiling, you sigh and put the stapler you had in your hand on the table, "Can't I just start with you?" Natasha could hear the frustration in your voice, and when she saw all the paper stuff she knew exactly what you meant. You see her looking at you with an unfamiliar look and suddenly she’s leaving.

She just left, Damn, you did something wrong..Before you could dive further into negative scenarios, she came back and sits down right next to you, "Alright, what are we looking at here?" You looked at her in confusion, "What about your meeting?"

Natasha reached for a stapler that was on the table, "Finished it, you are more important to me than listening to some people who think they can do something better," She looks back at you, "Now let's talk about you. So, what's it about?"

You couldn't help but smile softly. You can already feel the pressure easing a bit, ,,Aspects of human history and experience.“ Natasha flipped through the sheets a bit and as you did, she asked, „What can you think of already?“

Okay, how do you tell her you've just been staring at it so far? „Uhm..“ Natasha put the folder on her knees and this time looks directly at you, „You haven't looked at it yet, have you?“

You sigh again and lean against the couch, „I wonder how you managed to make everything look so easy, Nat. You're rich, you have your own company, and it seems like you don't have to worry about anything..“

Natasha's eyes softened, and she put a hand on your thighs, her voice soft and soothing. „Y/n, it may seem that way from the outside, but I promise you, success did not come on its own. I, too, sat on the floor and studied for hours. I had to deal with countless obstacles, setbacks, and doubts. Getting to where I am now took hard work and determination.“

You continue to look at her, „I know it won't be easy, but sometimes it just feels overwhelming. I want to achieve great things, but the road ahead seems so long..“

Natasha smiled and squeezed your thigh, „I believe in you, Y/n. You have the intelligence, the drive, and the passion. Remember that every little step brings you closer to your goals. Rome wasn't built in a day, nor were successful businesses or successful careers.“ Natasha realized that she was playing to your motivation with her speech, so she took the chance and went right on, „So, can you tell me anything interesting about any of these civilizations yet? Which ones are there, for example?“

Your eyes lit up as you begin to share your knowledge. „Well, the Egyptians, for example, were known for their impressive pyramids, and they believed in the afterlife.. They had intricate burial practices to prepare for the journey to the afterlife.“

Natasha nodded, acknowledging your answer, „That's right. It's fascinating how different societies view life and death. What are the challenges you find in learning about this topic?“

You sighed for the third time now, your frustration evident. „I get overwhelmed by all the dates and names. I feel like there's so much to remember.“

Natasha's voice sounded reassuring. „It's normal for you to feel this way. Let's try to break it down. We'll focus on one civilization at a time and create a timeline. That way it won't feel so scary. Also, I'm here to help you with the names and dates, understand?“

That sounds like a lot of work, you thought to yourself, but not for you, for Natasha, „Nat..Is this really okay that I'm keeping you here like this? you must have-" she interrupted you directly, „Quit that.“ She leans toward you, " „What good does it do me to have you sinking here in front of me, hm? I'd hire someone for you to make your tables and everything you need, so. Carry on.“

You had to smile again and nodded your agreement. At some point you reached a point where Natasha asked, „Let's talk about the ancient Mesopotamian civilizations. What else do you know about them?“

You think for a moment before answering, „They were known for their sophisticated writing system and the Code of Hammurabi, which was one of the earliest law codes.“ Natasha nodded in agreement. „That's right. And what do you know about the Indus Valley civilization?“

You hesitated, struggling to remember the details. „I'm not sure about that.. I think it was an ancient civilization on the Indian subcontinent, but I don't remember much else.“

Natasha smiled, without a hint of frustration in her voice. „ And that's all right, Y/n. The Indus Valley Civilization was actually on the Indian subcontinent, and they had advanced city planning with well-organized cities.“ Natasha notices you drifting off again, and she puts the things aside, „It's normal to forget some details. We'll work on it together.“

You appreciate her patience and support. „Thank you for your understanding, Natasha. Sometimes it's frustrating when I can't remember everything.“ Natasha reassured you, „It's all part of the learning process. We'll take another look at Indus Valley Civilization and make sure you understand it thoroughly.“

-

-

-

-

I need a Natasha. 🥲

[mustainegf]

hi im the same person that requested the restaurant thing i have another idea😭🙏🏻

brothers bestfriend type thing? and sort of age gap but not too much of an age gap. AND ONE MORE THING. size kink��. i sound stupid af but 👍

FIRST OF ALL I KNOW THIS REQ IS OLLDDDDD I SWEAR I STARTED WRITING IT THE DAY I GOT IT BUT THINGS PILED UP

the size kink part got a tad bit lost I think, lmk 😭

𝐌𝐘 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 ¹⁹⁸³

Well, James was always there, ever since my brother came home from school with him when they were kids. He was a year and a half older than me, and as time passed by, I could only develop a crush on him.

He was sweet, shy, the kind of guy who charmed in his own nervous little way. Over the years, I had learned to hide it inside, watching from afar as he and my brother had become like glue.

It was on one of those quiet summer nights, when everything changed. James had been sleeping over our house, just like countless times before.

My brother and him had been watching horror movies late into the night and now there was a complete death like silence as everyone drifted off to sleep.

I had stayed awake reading a book, when finally I finished it. I decided to go downstairs and quench my thirst with a glass of water from the kitchen.

I walked down the dim hall and rammed into what seemed to be a solid, warm mass. I looked up to find James standing there, his hands balancing me with a surprised grin.

"Sorry," I whispered, flushing my cheeks.

"No problem," he answered in a low pitch, the resonance of his voice hoarse in the silence of the night.

We stood for a moment, and the silence was heavy with an unsaid tension. His hand seemed to linger on my arm, and I felt the heat from his skin through the thin material of my pajama top.

"What are you doing up so late?" he asked, leaning casually against the wall.

"Couldn't sleep," I replied. "Just getting some water."

"Same here," he said with a faint smile. "Your brother's snoring is impossible to sleep through."

We both chuckled softly. I could feel a strange nervousness between us.

"Well, I should probably go back to bed," I said and took a step into my room.

"Yeah, me too." But neither he nor I moved an inch.

I looked back over where he was standing outside the door, feeling emboldened, almost flirtatious. "You want to come in for a little while? If neither of us can sleep..."

James hung there for a second before nodding. "Sure."

I walked ahead into my bedroom and closed the door but not completely. James followed me and closed the door behind him, the click seemed loud, as if we were doing something taboo.

We sat on the edge of my bed, and an awkward silence fell between us, pushing us apart and pulling us together all at once. James looked at me, in his eyes, a search for any sign of hesitation. When he found none, he turned to me and brushed a strand of hair behind my ear.

"You're different," he spoke softly. "More grown up. I can’t believe I’ve known you all these years.” He smiled, thinking back.

I felt my cheeks go warm, and my heart skipped. "Well, I’m almost 19," I chuckled, trying to sound casual.

James chuckled and barely touched his hand to my cheek. "Yeah, yeah, I know."

We just looked into each other's eyes for a long while. I felt the blood rushing to my face, and my mind raced with things I had never dared to think before.

The next thing I knew, I was leaning over, slowly locking my lips with his. It was hesitant at first, like he was scared to go too far, but when I eagerly returned, he deepened it.

My hands finally met his shoulders, and I held on to him like he was my anchor onto the world. His hands moved down my back, leaning us down right onto the bed.

"We shouldn't be doing this," he panted between kisses. "You're my best friend's sister.”

"I don't care," I whispered back, my fingers tangling in his pretty, long hair. "I want you, James. Please."

He groaned as he crumbled, and he kissed me again, his hands on my body suddenly quick in their roaming.

We sort of tumbled onto the bed, frantic, before he paused for a moment, looking at me worriedly.

"Are you 100% sure about this?" he asked again. His voice was still so soft and tender.

"Mhm," I hummed, heart thudding. "But…James, there's something I need to tell you first."

"What is it?" he asked as his eyes scouring mine.

"I, uh… I'm a virgin," I murmured.

His eyes widened, and he let out a shuddering breath as if he was shocked. "I'll be gentle," he promised, and his lips ghosted against my forehead. "But I can't promise I won't tease you. You're just too irresistible."

His words had me giggling. "Okay then, Hetfield," I whispered back.

James kissed me once more, his hands striving slowly up and down my body. He dragged his lips down my neck as his fingers slipped under the hem of my shirt. He pulled it off me, revealing my bare chest, and he let out a deep groan at the raw sight.

"You're so beautiful," he groaned, his lips trailing down into my chest.

I whined as he kissed and nipped at my skin, his hands making quick work of my Bra. He flung it out of the way as his lips moved down to my breasts, his tongue flicking and tasting over my sensitive nipples. I moaned softly, trying to keep quiet so we wouldn't be heard.

I was turning to jelly at the look of him, so much bigger than me, leaving me in his shadow as he devoured me.

His hands slipped further down my body, slipping under the waistband of my shorts. He pulled them down, along with my panties, baring everything for him.

"You're perfect," he said, his eyes raking over my body. “So delicate.” He pulled my legs apart again, tracing with fingers the sensitive skin on the inner thighs.

It was then that my body started shaking as I bit into my lip. "Please, James," I begged, needing him more than I had ever needed anything before.

His fingers danced at my entrance, and he smirked. "So needy," he murmured. The combination of amusement and desire was a heady thing in his voice. "I love it."

I whimpered and mewled, my hips bucking against his hand. "Please," I repeated, the word more than desperate.

Finally, James slid a finger inside of me. I gasped at the sensation, my back arched off the bed. Sure I’d fingered myself before, but having James do it… God, it was unreal.

He moved in slowly, his touch light as he explored each crevice inside of me.

“That’s it," he muttered, his eyes dark and swimming with his long held desires. "Doin’ so good."

He added a second finger, stretching me open while he continued stealing kisses from my lips. I felt myself becoming wetter with tick and motion. "James," I moaned, my hands clawing at his shoulders as my voice bounced off the walls.

"Shh," he whispered back, his lips grazing against my ear. "We have to be quiet, remember?”

I nodded, clamping my teeth together to keep myself from moaning as James worked his fingers inside me further while his thumb Very slowly worked my clit. The feeling was enough to make stars dance in front of my face. "You feel so good," he sighed, full of awe. “I’m still shocked you’re a virgin.” James snickered.

His tongue roamed every inch of my body, kissing and exploring my shivering skin. He stopped when he reached the core. Looking up, he grinned wickedly at me. "Fuck, I can't wait to taste you."

My cheeks burned, my body racked with a tremor of exctement. James's mouth finally landed on my clit, his tongue flicking over the sensitive bundle of nerves. I had to bite down on my tongue to keep from crying out.

James worked me with skill that left me to wonder how many times he'd down this before, sucking and licking me to the edge a number of times before pulling back and teasing.

"Please," I begged, never once thinking James would have me in this position. Towering over me, reducing me to a puddle of moans. "I need you, James, bad..."

He raised his gaze to mine, something dangerous flickering in his head as out eyes found each other. "You want me to fuck you?" he asked, almost amused.

I nodded wildly, like I was a deprived animal. "P-Please, James."

He moved back up my body, ridding himself of his shorts and boxers. His arousal sprung up agaisnt his lean stomach. Sure, I'd seen a few dicks in porno mags that my friends had, or some idiot in school. But this was different. He was raw, just a inches away from me.

I took in every detail of him, from the small patch of well groomed hair, to his impressive length. James gripped himself with a groan, teasing himself a second as he glanced up at me.

I nodded just as he was positioning himself between my legs. His cock he guided to my entrance, where the tip was sort of teasing me as he hovered above my body. "This might hurt a little," he said, his voice soft and low. "I'll go slow."

I nodded again, bracing myself against the possible pain. I gripped James shoulders as he stayed close, letting me hold onto him for support.

James pushed forward, and the head of his cock slipped inside me. I winced at the unfamilia feeling. He paused a little, giving me a moment to adjust, then pushed further. The pain was aching at first, but it slowly began to morph into something much more.

"You're doin' so good," he mumbled. "Good girl."

I blushed as the praise inflated my heart. James moved very slowly, each thrust quite careful, very calculated as he found his way deeper inside of me. The pain began to turn, replaced by a growing pleasure that had me moaning just softly for him, the boy I'd known for years, making me feel so good.

"That's it," James murmured, staring into my eyes as I squinted. "Take me, baby. You're doing so, so good."

I wrapped my legs around his waist while he began to move a bit more confidently. "James," I whined, the tips of my fingers dug into the divets of his shoulder blades.

"Shh," he whispered as he caught my lips in a hushing kiss. "We gotta be quiet."

It was surreal. I could feel the curve of every vein, every dip as he rocked inside of me, finding my sweet spot within seconds and focusing on it.

I nodded, bit my lip to silence my whines as James began to drive faster into me, the room filling with slick and obscene noises.

"James," I gasped, already needing to cum. I knew he could tell by the way I was clamping around him.

"I know," he groaned into my soft neck. "Let go, baby. I've got you."

I came with a keening cry, toes curling as I smushed my face into his shoulder to muffle the sounds tumbling from my lips. James was quick to pull from me, leaving me loose and missing his stretch. He squeezed and pumped his fist on his cock, locking eyes with me for a split second before the inevitable finally happened. He groaned softly, his head drooping to rest against my shoulder.

With a final whine, his hand slowed and I could feel the warm squirts of cum paint my abdomen, dripping down as he milked his final drops.

We sat frozen for a second, our naked bodies sweaty and glistening in the dark room. James gently smiled, motions tender and careful. He lay down beside me, snatching me into his arms.

"Are you okay?" he queried softly, his voice sounding perfect. How could it get any better than this? bathing in the bliss of our post sex euphoria, his voice in my ear and arms around me.

I nodded against his shoulder. "more than okay..."

James smiled, his eyes so warm. "You were amazing," he said, lazily pecking my forehead.

"I should, uh... clean off..." I giggled as we both glanced down at my cum-smothered stomach. James cheeks went a dark pink as he laugh.

"Get up, I'll help you," James smiled, helping me out of bed to assist in cleaning ourselves.

[tookthe-405]

VBS

Prologue :

“Sun bleached Flies” ~ Ethel cain

DAILY CLICK🍉🍉

DONATIONS AND INFOS🇵🇸

rebel!ellie x fem!reader

PLAYLIST

summary: you grew up religious without a choice, and in summer you would get send to vacation bible school. The camp always felt like prison to you, until a very interesting girl appeared.

c/w: smut in future chapters!!! , religious trauma, homophobia

1,1 k words

24/11/2004

Age 16 Reader pov:

"And as the Bible says in Micah 7:7: But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my savior, my God will hear me"

Your eyes burn, not because you are crying, but because of the very bright spotlights that are shining on Pastor Tobias. The youth lesson takes place every Wednesday evening and today's topic is faith and trust.

The paper and pen in your hand feels heavy and rough, you should have already written down what you’ve learned new, but your head is just so empty today.

As it has been so often in the last few weeks, which makes you feel guilty and ashamed again. You stare at the blank page and don't feel anything, that you could put into words and on paper. You can think of many questions that you would like to ask, but are too embarrassed for.

"hey is everything ok?"

your head follows the whispers next to you. Hazel looks at you worried. This girl is the only reason you enjoy being here, and there is no judgment in her look.

“I’m a bit stuck on this today” you whisper back and point at the empty paper, she nods.

you could feel the eyes of the employes. When sermons are held it is always very quiet and all these people you grew up with are listening to the man in front of you, the faintest whispers can be heard. You quickly concentrate again and look ahead.

"We're closing the sermon today with a prayer and the requests that you gave us"

On the board next to him are various prayer requests that the young people brought to the lesson. But a few of them catch your eye more than the others.

- Please release me from the shame within me - Let me grow with your word - The temptations of the evil one shall not harm me

The prayer lasts 7 minutes and your mind keeps wandering. When you pray, you always forget where you are and feel a bit stuck in your head. That's why you've given up the habit of closing your eyes, which helps you to ease the restlessness in which your inner self is bursting. You can't get rid of it at anyway. You observe the people around you a bit. You know every face all too well, the reason for that includes going to a the private Christian school and the many prayer evenings that your parents and siblings like to attend to.

When praying, each face shows a small part of the person. Some look deep in thought, others look as if they were about to burst into tears at any second and one or the other sit on their seats with a contented and calm expression on their faces. You would give a lot to feel whatever they are feeling.

Hazel's expression reminds you of a frightened animal that has just been captured. She was one of the fearful prayers.

All you wanna do, is try to get her out of this state and keep her safe with you, but you know that you can't do that for her. Only the god she prays to can do that.

"Amen"

“Amen” everyone says together and the word leaves your lips quietly.

Everyone stands up from their seats and whispers spread. You know all these people and you knew from your private life that some of them weren't good people, but the church seemed to change that completely. At least for a short time. As soon as the free time begins, you notice that the facades are falling again. This has always confused you a bit.

Two years ago, so many people were converted here, that the church was rebuilt and there were now many different rooms for different concerns. There was the sermon Hall, which is full every Sunday and is used for worship services. There is also a kitchen and dining room with couches. One floor higher was the room for the young people, which is used every Wednesday to pray, study and spend time together. A few couches and many chairs with tables.

The whole youth group is there and a few people start to play games. Some have a religious background, some don't.

After the sermon, you and Hazel go from the sermon hall to the youth room, where a few people from your class have already made themselves comfortable on the couch and seats. At school you always talk to Hazel, who is a very social person and that's why you are forced to talk to other people as well.

Samuel and another boy are talking as you both sit down on chairs, and the whole group seems interested in the conversation.

"My mother said that, Pastor Tobias told her on Sunday"

"What's going on?" Hazel's gentle voice asks Samuel.

He excitedly turns away from the other boy and addresses Hazel.

"My mother said that we were going to a camp this summer, we young people, there was a lake, forest, church, everything"

“Do we have to camp?” Asks Kate, a girl in a class below you.

The thought of having to go camping immediately puts you off, but you'd have to go anyway if it actually takes place.

After all, Samuel talks a lot but it doesn't always reflect reality.

"She said there is a youth hostel with lots of rooms, but they are shared."

You could live with that. Hazel nudges you with a smile. Now the excitement hits you too, if you and Hazel are in the same room together, swimming in the lake all day long and there were going to be funny events, it will definitely be pretty fun.

You smile back excitedly and the other people around you seem to be looking forward to it too.

“Have you heard of Anne Marie’s husband?”

The group becomes quiet and looks at Sofia, with a thoughtful look and crossed arms.

"A few people from church mentioned something but I don't think it's true," Naveah says next to her and rolls her eyes, but Sofia shakes her head confidently and leans forward.

“My brother said it was true, he was there at the prayer meeting for him” Naveah’s face falls and that made you a little nervous.

"what?" ask someone, but you won't know who.

"They prayed that his homosexual desires would disappear"

The room generally seems to become a little quieter; the other groups of friends also seemed to have heard the word, which had probably never been uttered here before.

The tense atmosphere spreads through the room like poison and you hold your breath.

" I didn`t knew he had such disgusting thoughts"

you are too shocked to notice who said it, but you still clearly hear the others agree.

“The sin is disgusting, but we should pray for him,”

Austin decides, but his gaze seems a little concernt.

After the prayer you feel emptier than before, almost as if you had been sucked dry. Your thoughts left more marks and you knew what you would pray for tonight before you went to sleep.

INTERACT WITH THE LINKS ABOUT PALESTINE 🇵🇸

a/n: this is a bit more angsty and can trigger some people so pls read the warnings!! I felt a bit uncomfortable too writing it, but it’s still important to talk and write about it, because it is reality!!!

!!!Pls Reblog and like!!!

[madwomansapologist]

when the lights go out | usopp x strawhat!reader

with loguetown ahead of the crew, usopp finds comfort on your shared moments. talking, working or in complete silence: he loves them all.

cw: just fluff! friendship, love and fabrication of guns. usopp being his usual insecure being.

an: this is slightly east blue policule. i just love those guys so much everything i write for them becomes a bit romantic. pre-loguetown. reader described to have lilac hair and golden eyes. do y'll wanna see the art i have for this strawhat?

"And just like that eight thousand warriors submit to my inexplicable talent", Usopp chanted, glaring at his reflected image on the mirror. "I know, I know, it was so nice of me to allow them to fight for me."

Usopp brushed his sniper goggles, cleaning what wasn't even dirt. He flexed a few times, imagining a few muscles on his slim body. Was that brown overall the best one he had?

He wanted to look like himself. Like his best self. Someone that could be a warrior of the sea. That could led eight thousand warriors. Usopp hoped to be someone that would impress others.

Usopp doesn't lie: he dreams. Except from all times when he does lie, of course.

During all his life, the only thing Usopp really wanted was to entertain others with his stories. Once the people in Syrup Village grew tired of them, Usopp had only a few friends left interested on the tales he had to tell. Not that he would ever stop being himself just because a dozen villagers chased him down the island.

But this crew is something else. How can everyone be so interesting? Not only that, but how can they all be so interested on one another? It still surprises Usopp. How everyone wants to hear what the other has to say, to teach. Even more what the other wants to hide.

It could be because, well, it's food, but he knows when Luffy asks Sanji about the All Blue is because he wants to hear the cook's voice. Sanji says he only competes with Zoro to proof that he's better than the swordsman, but that's not the truth. Not entirely, at least.

He once watched as Nami babbled on and on about cartography. Zoro stood there, quiet as a rock until the moment he complained, but nothing will change the fact he was wide awake the whole time. And there are all the late nights you spend studying architectural plants or ergonomic treaties, only awake because Nami makes sure to keep your cup warm.

And there is the way you ask Usopp about his trinckets.

You listen. An inventor, able to create motors and pulleys with the most worthless piece of metal, listen to him. At first Usopp thought you would judge him, who knows how many times your brain saved them all, but he saw only interest in your eyes. About what his trinckets could do, what inspires him, how he learn how aim.

Soon Usopp found notes with your calligraphy near his drafts. He found himself asking for your help to deal with metal. And yesterday Usopp couldn't believe his ears when you asked him if you both could work together. Great inventors must help one another, you said as if it meant nothing.

You thought he was great.

And Usopp wants be great. To feel great. To look great. Not only you're interest on what Usopp has to say, but you also think about him the same way he thinks about you. How could Usopp not overthink about every little thing on him?

Admiring his overall, now blue out of his indecisive nature, Usopp noticed how long it took him to get ready. It's already way pass the time you told him to meet you!

Running through Going Merry, Usopp felt his heartbeat increasing. You had understand, he really couldn't help but being late! Well, he could, but you don't need to know that part of the story.

"Zoro would be dead if it wasn't for me", Usopp explained himself, opening the door of your room in his usual exasperated way. Hands on his hair to make sure he looked great, Usopp put on a charming smile. "That man can't be trusted to walk alone..."

As the sunlight invaded your room from the open door, Usopp saw your working table filled with notes and gadgets covering the wood. And besided your organized mess, was your head. Bend over the chair in a position that couldn't be comfortable, lilac hair glued to your forehead, you were deep asleep.

Usopp sighed. There goes his chance of spending more time with you. All because he took too long to get ready. "No lie can save me from this one", Usopp whispered to himself.

He closed the door for the sunlight not to wake you up. Trying to be as careful as someone like him could, Usopp took the gadgets from the table. He put them inside your wardrobe, trying to respect the weird way you placed them.

If he was strong like Zoro or Sanji, he would've carried you to your bed. Since he isn't, he took the blanket for it and silently covered you. It wasn't cold, but climate was weird lately. Better to prevent than to remend.

Usopp would rather work with you, tell you all his stories, but still Usopp found himself smiling. So cute. His fingers played with your hair, the sweet perfume of tangerine reaching his long nose as he tucked it behind your ears.

"Usopp", you murmured, voice leaking tiredness. Your golden eyes met his, and Usopp jerked away from you. Slowly, you moved your body to a more natural position. "How long have I been sleeping?"

"D-Don't worry", Usopp could feel his cheeks burning. Did you noticed he was playing with your hair? "Are you feeling alright, o esteemed inventor?"

Your whole body was sore, but still your smile was natural. Usopp always comes up with the best nicknames. Cute. "No, I'm fine. Just still not used to sleep on a ship. You wanna start? I was working on a prototype, a machine to operate the helm and spare Sanji's back."

Usopp sat on the chair beside you, his arm resting on the back of yours. "That reminds me of one of my many adventures!"

You looked at him. Between those yellow eyes, all he saw was interest. Like always. "Tell me all about it."

And of couse Usopp did. He made sure to create an amazing story, with a great hero and a great danger. As his words reached your ears, more and more relaxed you felt. When your eyes first started to wander, Usopp knew his plan worked perfectly.

Slowly, you allowed sleep to envelop you once again. Your body was warm, his words were soothing, and for the first time in a while the movement of the waves felt welcoming.

Usopp gagged when your head fell on his shoulder, but quickly went back to the history. His body was burning again. After a while, he stopped talking. The only thing he could hear was your breathing.

For next hour, Usopp didn't move from his place besides you. His shoulder throbbed, Sanji almost fought him for the right of holding you, and his stomach ached for completion.

It was a perfect day.

if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡

general taglist: @lovelyy-moonlight

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.

[blossoming-mind-palace]

ROTBB First Time Headcanons (NSFW/Minors DNI)

An anonymous request. Work left me burnt out so I used this to get my creative juices flowing again. Written with a GN reader in mind.

Chung Myung

So you know how he has canonically big hands?

Guide him and he'll become the fingering king in no time. He already has long fingers, so you just need to tell him where to go, what to do, and how fast to do it.

Staying on the topic of hands he's grabbing everything because A. Grabbing your bits is funand B. He wants to see how you react. 

Surprisingly good at foreplay, and it makes you wonder if he’s read a couple of books on this or not.

Also bricked up and if you comment on this he will get cocky. (pun intended lmaoooo)

It might be his first time, but holy shit he has stamina thanks to his training. Even if he finished too soon he's going back in. Will not stop until you've finished.

Probably started out with missionary for the first round but will want to try other positions later in the night.

Kind of guy to finish inside of you, stay inside for a minute, and then accidentally get hard again from staying inside. (wrap it before you tap it)

Baek Cheon

He tries to be super romantic during his first time because he thinks that's what you want and he desperately wants to impress you. He’s a perfectionist, so he tries to make everything perfect.

Probably took you on a nice little date first. Has prepped his room ahead of time in case he gets lucky. He's got candles, towels, etc.

Normally you don't plan your first time, but he keeps this stuff on hand just so he can be prepared

And when he does get lucky he’ll concentrate more on giving his partner a pleasurable experience than his own satisfaction

Tries so hard to spoil his partner, but you should uno reverse it. He’ll get flustered and ask if it’s okay that he’s receiving all of this attention. Please continue pleasuring him he really likes it.

Going to go with missionary first because it’s easy and he wants to see how you react to his performance. If you want to continue spoiling him ride him during round 2 and he’ll be in heaven.

I also headcanon him as being bricked up but he needs to learn how to uhhh… wield the blade? Again? But like a different blade if you know what I mean? I need to stop bye-

Jo Geol

He doesn't know what he's doing. He's received advice, read romance novels, etc. but he’s still awkward. But then again who isn't awkward during their first time?? He's trying his best and that's all that matters.

Will try really hard to be romantic, but he’s extremely nervous. Will tell you he’s nervous, because admitting that he’s nervous helps calm him down. Idk why it just works.

Please reassure him and tell him he’s doing a good job.

Communicates a lot and is very loud. The more you stimulate him, the louder he’ll get. Isn’t shy when it comes to dirty talking with you.

He strikes me as a doggy-style kind of guy. Idk why.

Not as well-endowed as the last two but it’s about the motion of the ocean. He’s a quick learner so he’ll learn how to hit it right after a couple of tries.

Yunjong

Really reserved and shy, so you’ll have to take the lead with this one. There’s no way he’d initiate something so scandalous. 

If he makes any moves he’ll be really polite and constantly ask if what he’s doing is okay and if you feel good.

A blunt partner would make him soooo flustered, but he’s secretly turned on by a partner like that.

Yunjong wants to be dominated and bottom. Like he’ll top if you want him to, but he really likes watching you ride him. Find the thought of you getting off while using him like a dildo really hot, but you could never get him to say that out loud.

Discovers that he likes receiving hickeys, but can’t stand the embarrassment that comes with people seeing them. If you mark his neck please teach him how to use makeup to cover them up.

Jo Geol notices him during his walk of shame and Yunjong gets interrogated. Jo Geol was waiting for you two to get together and won a bet thanks to you guys.

Sweating nervously and giving vague answers when people ask him where he was last night, but everyone knows. He doesn’t say anything, but his nervous body language gives everything away.

 Yu Iseol

Ugh, I wish they would develop her more. I love her but she’s so hard to write for.

She seems quiet and stoic but if you're trying to seduce her she will get a little flustered.

Her flusteredness is very subtle though. It’s a blink and you might miss it kind of thing.

Her cheeks turn slightly red and she can't hold eye contact for as long as she normally does. 

Literally has no idea what she's doing. She has no prior experience or advice so she's in the dark. Please help guide her or be the dominant one.

Trying to figure out what she likes/dislikes and vice versa. 

I feel like she wants to top, but you’ll have to tell her what to do and if you like it or not. 

She also likes bottoming, and when you top you should overstimulate her. She won’t say it out loud but you can tell based on her expressions that she really enjoys it.

Doesn’t moan a lot so you’ll have to gauge your performance based off of her facial expressions and body language.

Likes it when you play or pull on her hair.

If she does a good job, please tell her. She loves being praised. 

Lee Songbaek

Sweet boy

Another one that asks if everything he's doing is okay and is very gentle with you because he doesn't want to accidentally hurt you.

He discovers that he’s a big fan of foreplay. Really likes to make you a panting mess before the main event happens.

Like Yu Iseol, I headcanon him as a switch. 

I feel like he’d want to do the face-off position during his first time. That or any position where his partner faces him because he likes the intimacy.

Also likes to watch you get off when you’re on top of him.

He seemed shy at first, but after you’ve seen each other inside and out (hahahahah) he’s going to be more honest and bold

Wants you to untie his hair and pull on it

Jin Geumryong

Another one I struggle to write for…

You have feelings for this guy? Bless your heart.

Likes being dominant and in control, but finds a witty partner that fights back exciting. 

If you try to fight for dominance you’re not gonna win. Nice try though!

Probably discovers that he’s into brat taming, and wants to do freakier shit but waits until next time because he doesn’t want to scare you off.

Will ask to tie you up to see if you two enjoy it, and you do.

When he marks you for the first time, he finds out he really likes making you squirm and will do it again.

Also enjoys overstimulating you.

Like Chung Myung, he will want to keep going until you’ve finished too. He might be a little mean but he’s not going to leave you unsatisfied.

[herlockslimbo]

summary of rui’s wl chapter cause it made me ueuueueeu (spoilers ahead)

so the first chapter opens with wxs discovering a new island in wonderland sekai. they need to find the map to "star island" and then they see a phoenix soaring above with this very map. i forget if the phoenix like. already had it or they snatched it, wxs then decide to go on a quest to find the phoenix and get the map back. to do this they must journey the island, so they set off!

(rui's chapter begins) the first place they encounter is a village of plushies, and along with them, some "zombie plushies”. we learn that the zombie plushies are outcasted from the others because they're "scary and weird", and rui immediately motions to go meet the zombies. they meet them and it turns out they greet by biting lol, but rui isn’t put off at all, and bites back. everyone introduces themselves, then asks the zombies if they knew about the phoenix. the zombies refuse to give information because they think the others might be faking kindness, and are probably scared of them like everyone else, and they don't want to help people who "hate them", so they run away. rui kind of pauses for a moment, and rin asks what's wrong, and rui says that their words resonated with him, because the plushies remind him of his old self. (pl end)

rin asks what he means and i'm just gonna spit the dialogue here bc i think it's better to just read this part

(also disclaimer i have extraordinarily limited japanese knowledge, i’ve read this whole thing through online translators, and a bit of doctoring to fix machine error)

(disclaimer two i just realized i forgot to fix this text, the “thinking about this and that” is in reference to his plan to keep wxs together, and specifically keep emu with them. i just phrased it weird. )

after this rui says that he can tell that the zombies really do want to make friends, they’ve just been rejected so many times they’ve given up, like he did. he then says he wants to make them realize their dreams and make them come true, like wxs did for him.

the gang approach the zombies and rui suggests the zombies do a play to convey their feelings. it is settled to do an altered version of “potato ghost”, the show from wonder halloween, and the zombies take the role of well. the zombies. they play around and show the plushies they’re not scary, and that actually being a zombie is fun. the others plushies see this, and start to befriend the zombies.

rui watches this unfold and he’s so happy he was able to help the zombies, and see their true desires. he pops out a tom gray quote reference about breaking down the barriers of people’s hearts and i died a bit.

the gang finds a new clue for the phoenix via the zombies. and we move on.

this is literally everything i could have asked for in his chapter i maybe cried a bit. i love you rui kamishiro.

[its-short-for-jackalope]

THE SEARCHER IN THE SHADOWS

☆ Thoughts On Part 2 ☆

Time for the unhinged companion to my part 1 post, lol. I love how much these musicals surprise me, I always have such a fun time and oh boy do I have thoughts and feelings about part 2.

Once again I am not going to be able to capture every thought I have about everything because there is... so much. But I can try to express a portion of it, so on with the rambling!

Meanwhile / Sia's Vision

I love part 1 & the new characters we met, but I was definitely missing the rest of the quartet so I was so excited to get to hear them again today. That being said, I was totally unprepared for how I would react to their arrival (heh). I was damn near kicking my feet and I was close to either giggling or crying basically the entire time, but I guess they balanced each other out so I basically just vibrated in my chair instead, lmao.

I'm so happy that Margaret has been to Lincoln Island before? I was a little worried that she didn't even have a chance to see that any of her people had survived before she was sent away and she lost her memories. (However the hell that happened.)

I love how John and Samuel are both like "I can accept this mysterious magical woman saving our lives once, but TWICE? That is a little suspicious. 🤨😑"

SIA'S VISION. It happened years ago, and now we know we're not alone that Sia went straight from 1835 to 1874 just like the quartet, so she must have gotten the vision sometime between 1829 and 1835, proooobably a lot closer to 1829, since she said 'years.' She sees the Antikythera being claimed by the Ellen Austin, and evidence of Margaret's transformation magic as well as her radiance. She also saw John (the scientist) screaming for Rose as she drowns while the Antikythera takes on water, perhaps sinking entirely.

SIA'S PLAN. (MAYBE.) Okay so I very well could be wrong, lol, I'll get that out of the way right now, but I think Margaret had already been sent away when Sia had her vision. Part of this reasoning is simply because it would feel more satisfying to me if the quartet didn't come together entirely because it was forseen, and also because Sia says 'our Margaret returned.' Idk, just the delivery of that makes me feel like she must already be gone at that point. Sia wouldn't have left Margaret somewhere unsafe, so she probably looked around New York to scout it out, and/or maybe she was watching from time to time, to make sure she was okay. So maybe she saw the Stratfords at some point—Samuel says he read about Margaret in The Sun, so maybe she was interviewed in the building and they occupied the same corner of the city at just the right time for Margaret's guardian traveler to see the twins?—and then when Sia has that vision, she recognizes them and that's when she knows they have to keep these people safe. (And maybe she uses a bit of magic to send a certain scientist a certain paper about certain discoveries to ensure he joins the party...?) So in the years before the quartet gathers together, Sia makes plans with her friends. I don't know exactly what these plans are and won't really try to guess, but clearly part of it involved scheming with Addison to make me SO WORRIED about her and the crew leave her ship (and an orrery for Rose) drifting on the Sargasso at the right time and place, AND they must have had enough foresight to be prepared for Sia's 39 years away; we didn't hear her poof back to let her friends know when she was going, and they knew when to expect her return, so it must have been pre-arranged to some extent. So Sia skips ahead, dropping off the quartet in 1874 and returning to Lincoln Island where Rose has already been learning and testing for 9 days, until it's time to meet Margaret again on the Antikythera. And now we're caught up. (Was this whole ramble necessary? Eh, maybe not, but I needed to think about it and it took long enough to type that I'm not deleting all that, are you kidding?)

Arrival, part 2

aw, yay! I'm glad Margaret and the boys all got a similar welcome to Rose! I wasn't sure if there would be any fanfare for Samuel and John, lol.

The twins are reunited! 😭❤ (And Margaret and John get to say hi to Rose too, yes, yes, I was very happy, but this isn't about them right now. TWINS.)

Dakkar and his scanner, lmao. (Going to try and fail to not think about him taking out his trusty tech as a distraction when he witnesses the siblings' reunion. I'm totally fine and normal about this, guys. Trust me.)

Yes, filling everybody in about Kal! I suppose he was the specific threat they were worried about when they were trying to verify Rose's identity in part 1, which would probably make sense if he's Itzal's attack virologist or something. But I have concerns about how the scan went. Addison tells us Kal has a way of tracking people he encounters and the scanner they use to check has a database that doesn't recognize anything on Samuel and the others, but, uh. AFAIK that scanner has been here on Lincoln Island for 45 years, nice and protected. How many updates have they gotten? And what was that Kal said back in TGOA? "Non-lethal fog, my latest brew." ...YEAH. I HAVE CONCERNS.

Not Rose's somber "We must keep looking for the key" after the chorus 😭😭😭 We know Sia's been reassuring her and Ahlaam has been insistent that there's no pressure on her, but uh. There is pressure. And Rose probably feels some degree of guilt for not accomplishing everything these literally magical people hoped she would after they saved her life.

Margaret almost recognizing the people around her, Dakkar echoing/answering the calls we've heard from Margaret since the beginning of the story..... AUGHHHHH 😭

I am very interested in Samuel and Addison's dynamic (to put it lightly) and I want to know what the captain is so curious about bears for.

Magic Ways

I love this song so much. We get to receive lore in an easily digestible way AND the music is amazing???? Move over, Schoolhouse Rock, I only want to learn things from the Travelers and Searchers from now on. (This joke isn't even good but I've wanted to make one about Schoolhouse Rock since the premiere so this is what we get. sorry, lmao.)

SEVEN, SEVEN MAGIC WAYS! Radiance, Perception, Protection, Illusion, Healing, Movement, and Transformation. If I'm understanding correctly, everyone from the Blazing World has the Radiance. (And I assume every descendant born on Lincoln Island does, too? although if they didn't have any magic because they lost their connection to their world that could be interesting... 👀) It seems to be the root/core of it all, if it's the one everyone shares. All the magic connects them, but I think the Radiance is the deepest and strongest connection. I am not going to rattle off about all of the magic ways here because, well, reading my ramblings (delightful as they are) doesn't hold a candle to listening to the actual song, lmao, but I am going to share my ideas for what kinds of magic the different BW characters might have.

SIA — radiance, movement, perception, transformation, possibly more; if she was helping Margaret train her protection magic, then I think it could be reasonable to suspect Sia may also possess it? But that's a maybe for now—Sia could simply know both Margaret & how protection magic functions well enough to be able to coach her.

AHLAAM — radiance, movement, illusion (I believe she was going to cast an illusion spell on Rose during Two Weeks as one of the tests, and she also tells us about illusion magic in the song), possibly more; Ahlaam doesn't specifically say that she only had three magic ways, unlike...

DAKKAR — radiance, healing, protection. He says that "three is more than enough for me" so I think we can safely assume that's it for him, unless he has more magic that he just doesn't use for whatever reason, which could be an interesting idea. No evidence for it tho, I'm just saying words. <3

ADDISON — from what we know so far, she might have only one magic way, the radiance, but I keep thinking about her journal. Margaret had to use transformation magic on it to be able to read it, so does that mean Addison also has that power, or did somebody else (Sia?) transform the journal specifically so Margaret would have to transform it back and use her magic? Or, as some friends have joked, is Addison nerdy enough that she just writes in invisible ink?

MARGARET — in TGMH, we saw her use the radiance for the first time. in TBS, movement. TGOA, transformation. in this episode, she has started using protection magic. Matt has told us that there will be 7 pulps and there are 7 magic ways, so I'm wondering if we'll see her unlock or regain all the magic ways, with one new power returning in each episode. We still have one more part to go for this episode, so we'll see if this theory is disproven real quick or not, lol.

Thank Gravity

hi, what if I exploded?

the only m/f pairings I care about are written by Matt Dahan and this is only a slight exaggeration

JOHN WANTED TO TALK!! HE'S THE ONE WHO INITIATED A FEELINGS CONVERSATION!!! HE FINALLY GOT SOME SENSE!!! I'M SO FUCKIN PROUD???? 🎉

THEY! KISSED!

what if I just, like, perished. would y'all be cool with that.

I am so not normal about how we've gone from them both yearning for 'a place with no laws of gravity' to them both thanking gravity—

have we considered the option of me just walking into the ocean? I think that might be the best course of action here.

oh my god. I love them.

Masterpiece Containing Masterpieces

Jackie's absolutely gorgeous art shows a bit of bright blue sky visible from the bridge of the Nautilus, so I'm guessing everyone got some much needed rest and continued the tours the next day, lol.

godddddd the callback to Margaret's Apartment. Maps of the Earth and sky lavishly hanging from golden frames—I need to bite something. (/pos)

John, if you're asking questions you should at least give people time to finish answering them, lmao

Someone is going to push one of those damn purple buttons and everyone is going to have a bad day, calling it now. If it doesn't happen this episode, it will happen in one of the later ones. And I am going to be glaring at them all mistrustfully until it finally happens. 😑👉🚫🟣‼️

Samuel and his imagination going crazy over the orrery's potential... and the way Addison talked about the Firestone getting burnt out, I wonder if that means it isn't repairable. Maybe Firestones are extremely rare, idk. curious how this orrery is still able to help them with the Gate somehow. WOULD LOVE TO HEAR MORE ABOUT THESE GATES, BY THE WAY. JUST SAYING. /lh

EDIT: oops, the orrery on the Nautilus is not the same as the Antiythera's, I don't think. but it still seems like this one can't go back in time, going by the conversation!

Before the Island

yessssssss new solo John song for me to lose my mind about. also a casual reminder that Curt Mega is so gender it's unfair. <3

John, I love this for you. so much. go crazy, run wild, be silly and push buttons—NOT THE PURPLE ONES, FFS 🙏—and be happy with Rose.

John thinking his dad would understand what he's feeling instead of feeling smothered by his father's legacy and afraid of disappointing him......... 🥺😭❤

Ipomoea, part 1

the cover art!!!!!

This song is so goddamn pretty. Natalie and Kim's voices are heavenly together.

the imagery Margaret describes is so gorgeous, I want to draw it.

Margaret is closer than she's ever been to getting her answers!!!

JUST LIKE HOME 😭😭😭😭😭😭

and here we learn another time travel rule, which simultaneously makes me go "oh cool, that will probably make the timeline a little less messy" and "oh poor Sia, you lost 39 years with your besties" and "HEY SIA SO YOU BASICALLY LIED ABOUT BEING ABLE TO HELP ANNA GET OFF THE SATELLITE, HUH? CARE TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF??" (This isn't really even about Travelovers, this is about Anna being LEFT UP THERE and someone needs to give Sia a talking to for this, on mine and Anna's behalf. 😭 John, you've smooched your girl, now go be mad for your bestie, plz.)

hi Dakkar, ilu, please never die

Ipomoea, part 2

JESSE BHAMRAH I ADORE YOUR VOICE

I was a tiny bit worried about where this was going. I expected him to start using magic against Margaret to force her to defend herself, so the way he's like 'yo we should totally have Sia try to attack/kill us both' instead so they could combine their protection power was a really cool and delightful twist

I also love how Sia absolutely knows where this is going

IPOMOEA, SHOW ME YOUR WORTH! STAND WITH ME NOW, OR GET PLUCKED FROM THE EARTH!!!!!!!

Dakkar and Margaret are both so committed to this, & the way they sing together!!!!!!!

THIS SONG, YOU GUYS, I CAN'T. 😭❤

THEY'RE SIBLINGS! I don't currently have the brainpower (or time, tbh) to truly & accurately express how I feel about the reveal. Feel free to read my very smart friend's cool post about Dakkar and Margaret instead, it's very good.

I know I had a little "et cetera" sort of section at the end of my last post with some other thoughts, but honestly I am tapped right now, lol. Matt Dahan packs so much cool stuff in these episodes that there is undoubtedly a bunch of really cool theories and connections I haven't even touched upon in this post, but that's okay, it's long enough as it is. 😂

basically,

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I love pulp so much and I am VERY AFRAID and VERY EXCITED for part 3.

Now if you'll excuse me I need to rewatch part 2 until Mr. Dahan himself pries the video out of my greedly little hands.

[rainbowsky]

Dear Rainbow Sky,

I was the one who asked u the earlier question anonymously. I wish to send my heartfelt thanks to you for taking time to respond so fast even though I posted anonymously. Sorry for the long essay.

I did not know what is the right etiquette as I am new to tumblr (i created this account just so I could read your blog which I really enjoyed reading.) and IRL, I am just a middle aged asian lady who is not too internet savvy, stumbling into this, and honestly a little confused why I feel so emotionally invested in this, as you say!! (Sorry new turtle)

Wishing you a great weekend ahead! My thanks once again!!

🙏🙏🙏

This is in reference to a previous post.

Hi new turtle! 💛🐢💛

I have some advice for new turtles, so let's dig in.

Thank you for writing back, kaijumama, it is nice to be able to put a name to the message! No need to apologize or feel you've done anything wrong. I know I can come off as brusque sometimes, but I've gotten a lot of a certain tone of message lately and I'm trying to set some boundaries around what ends up in my inbox.

Anyway, I know what it feels like to be emotionally invested in GG and DD and their relationship. It is a difficult thing to explain to anyone who's outside of the fandom, but it's a feeling and a connection that builds, and sometimes it can become very emotional or feel very personal.

All I can tell you is, take your time, relax and find a region of turtledom that feels soothing and warm, and everything will rapidly improve for you.

When you are a new turtle it can feel like everything has a lot of significance. It can feel like everything is either proof they are together or proof they've broken up or never were together in the first place. I think a lot of turtles go through that phase and it can be a roller coaster.

It's important for all new turtles to realize that if a claim or narrative you're being told about GGDD or something relating to them makes you feel horrible about yourself and about being a turtle, chances are really good that it was intentionally crafted for that purpose by haters. Avoid, block and ignore.

Usually that experience becomes a lot more stable and relaxed as time goes by and you become more familiar with the fandom and with the various ideas and theories and bits of information we base our beliefs on, but getting there can be a struggle emotionally for people who are very invested.

All I can say to that is:

Enjoy GG and DD and their works. That should always be our main focus as fans. It has the added bonus of being very enjoyable and enriching to our lives.

Take your time to get to know other turtles, get familiar with relevant social media accounts, and get to know the core turtle content and theories.

Avoid and ignore anti messages (and if a message makes you feel like a bad person or like being a turtle is bad, it's an anti message - yes, even if it seems friendly. A lot of antis phrase things in a concen-trolling kind of way to get under people's radar). Block and ignore.

Exercise patience and restraint around new information and claims that seem unsettling. Don't immediately freak out. Take your time to learn more. Trust that if experienced turtles are not freaking out, tearing out their hair and crying, then everything's probably just fine. It's so easy to get sucked into despair and confusion as a new turtle because you don't yet know the significance or lack of significance of something. Experienced turtles do.

Use your feelings as a signal about where you should be. If you feel really bad and stressed out, you're probably in the wrong area or among the wrong people. Find a corner of turtledom that makes you happy and avoid the ones that don't.

Stick to turtle spaces at all times - especially if you're a new turtle. This is for your own well-being, so you won't get misled and abused by antis. That means staying away from all hashtags on Twitter (even bjyx and yizhan ones, because antis frequently post to those), this includes staying away from hashtags of GG and DD's individual names (staying off Twitter entirely, IMHO). Avoid all solo spaces, including GG and DD's individual supertopics and fan clubs. More on that here.

Do not engage in fan wars or arguments, especially if you're new. You'll get eaten alive, and nothing will be resolved. You're not going to change anyone's mind.

Understand that we will likely never be directly, clearly acknowledged or thanked by GG and DD as fans in a clear, unambiguous way. Quite the contrary, GG and DD will sometimes have to distance themselves from us for the good of their careers and to mollify solos. GG and DD give us what they can, but there's never going to be a grand public declaration of support and appreciation for us. The situation will never allow for that. GG and DD will always have to cater to solos above us, and that will always lead to solos feeling superior and being dicks to us. That's just the way things are.

Realize that part of being a turtle is being marginalized and hated. There are so many groups that will be out to get us. Homophobes, GG's solo fans, DD's solo fans, people who are against what they view as 'shipping real people' (I don't 'ship' anyone, I believe GG and DD are in a real relationship), people who think we are delusional creepy weirdos, people who are against fandom in general, people who hate celebrities and fan culture, people who hate GG and DD, people in our daily lives who 'don't get it' and feel annoyed by our fixation, etc. etc. It just goes with the territory.

Embrace uncertainty. This is not a fandom of knowns and for sures. GG and DD will almost certainly never come out and confirm their relationship. Most of the theories we have will never be confirmed or factually fully substantiated. We will likely always have to deal with a certain measure of doubt and uncertainty. That's just the nature of this fandom.

Remember turtles have shells. Build yours, because you're going to need it. Being a turtle is not for the faint of heart.

One important thing I can say to you and all new turtles:

Almost nothing we see about GG and DD will be significant to their relationship.

A lot of new turtles try to evaluate every bit of info about GG and DD through the lens of whether it proves they're together, or whether it proves they're not. In reality, almost none of the information we see will have any significance or connection to their relationship either way. Viewing things through such a lens is unnecessarily stressful and frankly a bit foolish.

They're both individuals first and foremost, so while it's nice to hunt for candy sometimes, it's also important to keep perspective and remember them as individuals who have their own lives. The vast majority of things we see/hear about have absolutely nothing to do with them as a couple. More on that toward the end of this post.

It's best to avoid seeing/interpreting everything through the lens of whether they're a couple or not. Most joy/pain extremes can be avoided that way. Just enjoy them and their works, and the rest will follow over time.

You might also find my fandom survival guide helpful.

As a new turtle you might also find my masterlist post helpful. A lot of older topics, common questions and background can be found there.

Here are a few posts I recommend for new turtles:

BXG Glossary

BXG Calendar

About Kadian

GG and DD’s projects

Is YiZhan real?

Which do you love more?

Proof they’re still together?

Fandom Survival Guide

BXG Fandom Etiquette

Why so much hate from solos?

“I came across a nasty rumor about them online”

[fandoomrants]

FINAL THOUGHTS ON TUA S4/TUA IN GENERAL

First of all, I can't believe I make this account because of this show and waited excitedly for 2 years only to feel so numb right now...

Unlike some people I didn't hate season 3. Season 2 is still my favourite but 3 wasn't that bad, just a bit odd. And there were many directions where things could have went.

Mostly spoiler-free, for season 4 I can say:

-It did answer some long awaited answers but I feel like it didn't answer everything, some things were just vague mentions, and it also created more questions.

-I feel like either some actors were busy, or didn't want to return, because there were characters I expected to see but they were either not mentioned, or vaguely addressed, which was disappointing.

-The ending somewhat wasn't terrible, I have always assumed something like that might have to happen, yet I hated how by the time it did, all the characters were so ruined that I couldn't feel even a bit bad for most.

Now, I'll get into some more details about the things I liked, and the ones I didn't.

Spoilers ahead:

Things I DIDN'T LIKE:

-I already ranted a lot about this in my comments while watching but - Five and Lila! I like(d?) both characters and I thought the journey they had from constantly fighting enemies to reluctant allies to friends who relied on each other, was great. Loved their scenes in the beginning of episode 5.... And then wanted to jump out of somewhere. The thing is, I don't exactly hate the way it happened. I hate the fact that it 1) happened when Lila was already with Diego, and had THREE kids with him, that was basically cheating, and 2) the fact that in the end, it didn't bring anything to the plot. Diego and Five fought almost until the end, and it was uncalled for. It didn't bring the characters' development anything. It turned Lila into a cheater and Five.... Well, I've said before that I didn't see him as aro/ace like some other people, but I didn't see anything that this brought for him. I just think they worked better platonically altogether, because they went a long way and nothing suggested anything between them.

And this also leads to...

-Diego and Lila. For me, they were sorta relationship goals. They were constantly bickering and fighting but it was their thing. They were on the border of toxic sometimes but somehow managed to stick together. So how did this happen?! It could have went a whole another way. Diego realised he really loved her and wanted to be with her. I think that I would have accepted it if she and Five had kissed or something, and she had realised she loves Diego too, and returned to him, but no. In the end, it's unclear what she even feels for him.

-Lack of interactions between Klaus and Ben. Okay, I know this isn't the OG Ben Klaus spent years with, but in s3, Klaus was the one who constantly tried to reach out to him and convince the others to give him a chance. Now, nothing. Luther was the one who interacted with him and looked after him, and then later Viktor. I get it that Klaus had other stuff on his head but it was a weird development, and it felt even a bit OOC.

-The lack of closure to some characters relationships altogether. Ben... Just turned into a monster with Jennifer, didn't get the chance to interact with the rest again. Ray was mentioned to have "walked away", Allison never mentioned him. She spent the whole season 3 ranting like mad, now only Klaus said a word. We didn't even get to learn what happened exactly. And in this universe, was Claire his daughter or no?! Also. Luther literally mentioned Sloane once. Never heard about her again. Like, maybe he had searched for her but it wasn't mentioned at all. Dave also wasn't mentioned even once. Sissy wasn't mentioned. Now, I know all if these characters were from other timelines but they were loved by the Umbrellas, and in previous seasons, they mentioned them, and wanted to find them. Now, not one mention... Even the Sparrows were barely mentioned. Nobody mentioned Pogo. Or OG Grace (well, the robot one they called "mum". Not the real one from the 60ies). I just feel like these were left as some plot holes. I get that the last two weren't exactly needed here, but there could have been at least a mention. They were from the original timeline, the siblings had spend their whole lives with them.

-Gene and Jean. I get it. Every season has some "villain" character(s), but I just really disliked these two for some reason. Won't even elaborate.

-Not even one dance, except for Gene and Jean. All seasons had at least one iconic dance.

-The music, now, I won't complain too much about it, but all seasons had some great songs. Here we had them too, but we mostly listened to Baby Shark, which was hilarious but also a bit weird.

-No epic battle scenes. Well, Luther and Diego had something of the sort, but the end battle was pretty lame, imo.

-They got back their powers, and some of them had new powers too, but it was all unexplained. What happened with Lila, what were these laser eyes?! Also, Allison got new powers, never used the old ones again (I kinda get it, tho). Klaus.... Presumably got the floating? Which was supposed to be a thing in general? But in any case, none of this was explained! I thought at first that they got the powers some of the other children like them had but we didn't learn that. Also, Diego, Luther, Viktor, Five, Ben didn't get any new powers. Diego did something weird at one point but his whole thing was controlling flying objects and I don't count it. And Five's arriving at the station isn't exactly a new power. Ben's was a result of touching Jennifer. Nothing new for them, otherwise.

-Speaking of getting back their powers, no epic battle and all, here's another thing. In s2, in the beginning, and then the end, it was epic! They were all fighting with all they had, unlocking new ways to fight and all. I believe they were at their peak. Five also managed to get a few seconds back in time, Klaus was able to control armies of ghosts. Here, none of that. They were pretty weak. And maybe it was a side effect of just getting their powers back, but it was disappointing. Klaus didn't go back to alcohol and drugs, yet he only saw one ghost of a random guy, then a dog. They could have made the ending at least a bit more epic.

-In the end, the Umbrellas ceased to exist but.... What about the rest of the special children?! This Ben wasn't even from the Umbrella Academy. And ok, in the end, only these got their powers back in this timeline but surely, the thing with the branching timelines must apply to all 40-something. So how only 7 gave up their powers in one universe, and things got back to normal?

-All in all, the weird pacing and vibe. It wasn't as serious as season one, or chaotic as season 2 and 3. There were barely moments that made me truly laugh, and some characters were OOC. And some didn't really get to achieve anything. Viktor, with his whole plan on helping Ben, achieved nothing. Five kinda ruined his brother's family. Klaus... He also didn't achieve anything, in the end Allison saved him yet again. And while it was cute, it also was, I feel, a step back from his characterisation because he was shown as quite adaptive and able to get away from a bad situation. Allison pretty much only saved Klaus. Diego had a family drama, but nothing much. Luther.... He was just there. Ben's arc was ok but I hated how little time he had with the rest, in the end, he never got to feel as part of the team, and Lila just... Ruined her family for someone who is both around 20 years older and 20 years younger than her at the same time.

-This one is pretty much for humour purposes but - Luther without pants way too much!

-I feel like I must be forgetting something but I'll just move on to...

Things I LIKED:

-Claire having much more screen time and actually being a developed character, rather than just someone staying there for the sake of Allison!

-Claire and Allison, and especially Claire and Klaus's relationship! I feel like Klaus would be good with kids, and even change his ways because of them. (He sorta did, despite walking away at one point. I like to think that spending time with Allison and Claire helped him get clean.)

-Allison and Klaus! I mentioned in another post that I've noticed that they were closer even in season 1, where they interact much less hostile and with more fondness that with the rest of their family, in flashbacks he comforts her when they get their tattoos, etc. And then, of course, their reunion in s2. In s3, we didn't get much of them but I loved them in s4.

-Allison and Viktor taking care of each other! These two had some really rocky relationship throughout all of the seasons but they still cared for each other in a way that was different than the rest. They had the true sibling bond but I think by the end, they also learned to be friends.

-Viktor in general. The only character that didn't once irritate me with a decision he made. I feel sorta sorry for him because he seemed to care for everyone. Allison, after all she did, Ben, although this isn't the one he knew. He got to clear things with this version of Reginald, too. Generally loved him here.

-Now I'm a bit bitter-sweet about that, seeing how things developed but, Lila and Diego's daughter named Grace!

-Even more bitter-sweet, and tiny bit hippocratic but Lila and Five, before that one development in ep 5. They could have truly had a good and normal PLATONIC bond.

-Allison, somewhat. She's one of my least favourite characters, especially after season 3, tho she wasn't my fave before that either but here I liked her.

-Luther somehow didn't irritate me either, although I didn't like him much too, before.

-Klaus has always been my favourite and even though I didn't quite like all that happened, I liked his development, his desire to be sober, and his unwillingness to get his powers back. I think he had lots of potential, and obviously most of his problems came from his powers.

-Despite everything, the last scene, with all the characters we've seen before, being happy and all that. Agnes and Hazel! For some reason, loved that even in this timeline, without all else, they found each other! And the fact that the kids of the Umbrellas were still there. This is a tiny bit of a plot hole on it's own but it was a nice scene.

-And finally, somewhat learning how Five founded the Comission, and finally learning what the "Jennifer Incident" was!

[m-jelly]

Hii! I read you recent Hange request story and loved it! I was wondering if you could do a Hange x (female) reader where reader is feeling jealous that Hange is so invested in Pieck (because you know she's the jaw titan and Hange LOVES titans) and it makes reader feel kinda upset. Just something fluffy and sweet

Doubts

Pairing: fem!Hange x fem!Reader

Genre and tags: Canon, established couple, doubts, angst, slight jealousy, insecure reader, communication.

Concept: While camping out and staying safe from harm you've noticed that your girlfriend Hange seems to be all over Pieck. Doubt and worry fill your heart. At first, you are jealous but then the guilt starts to take over and finally the self-doubt and hate.

Doubt. Fear. Jealousy and sorrow.

Your mind and heart were a mess as you sat watching Hange with Pieck. Pieck was Hange's dream woman. Pieck was smart, beautiful, strong, sexy and she could become a titan. Pieck was so much more of a woman than you were in your eyes. Pieck was incredible and ever since she started helping the scouts, Hange was always at her side.

You pulled your gaze away when Armin called your name. You smiled at the young man and made your way over to him. "What can I do for you?"

Armin glanced over at Pieck and Hange. "Everything okay?"

You hummed in response because you didn't want to open up this emotional and painful box inside you. "I'm fine. What can I do for you?"

He stared at you for a while and read your expression. "Firewood."

You nodded. "Yeah, I'll go get more from where I usually get them. I'll be right back."

"You could take Hange, you know for a date?"

You grabbed what you needed and heaved a sigh. "She's busy."

Armin watched you walk away before approaching Hange. "Sorry for interrupting you both, but I need to speak with Hange."

Pieck sighed. "Good, I'm tired."

Hange pouted. "I just wanted to talk to you a bit more." She dragged her feet and walked with Armin. "What's up?"

Armin cleared his throat. "I don't mean to pry, but your girlfriend is in the woods getting firewood and she seems rather upset."

Hange was a bit perplexed by the information. "Upset? Why is she upset?"

"Possibly because since Pieck has joined us, you haven't spent a single moment with her and if you manage to you always talk about Pieck."

Hange stared at Armin as she slowly pieced everything together. "Oh...oh you're right...oh, my poor little pumpkin."

Armin pointed. "She went that way."

"Thanks, Armin!" She jogged into the woods until she saw you ahead. She slowed down and called your name. "Hey!"

You glanced back at her. "Why are you here?"

She came to a stop. "I came to help."

"I don't need help. I'm fine."

Hange shifted and stood in your path. "We need to talk."

You huffed. "I don't want to talk right now."

She pressed her finger between your eyebrows. "But you have a frown and a little raincloud above your adorable head."

You swatted her hand away. "I'm not in the mood for this silliness."

"Come on, my grumpy little pumpkin. We should talk."

You dumped the wood and turned to her. "I don't..." You huffed. "I just..." You hugged yourself. "Could you just be serious for a moment?"

"I'm all ears."

You sat down on a root. "Are you in love with Pieck?"

Hange stared at you. "What?"

"Are you in love with Pieck?"

She was in shock at first so she didn't reply right away, but when she registered your question she felt sad. "No, no I don't. I love you."

You put your head in your hands. "I just...she's better than me."

"In what way?" She moved closer to you and crouched in front of you. "In what possible way could she be better than you? You're funny, smart, strong, cute, beautiful and truly incredible."

You watched Hange take your hands in hers. "She's all that and more. She can become a titan and you love them."

Hange kissed your hands. "I am just fascinated as she's another titan shifter I can talk to. I don't love her at all. She's just someone I want to learn about Titans from. She's just an experiment really."

"But you're always with her and you talk about her all the time."

She sighed. "That's my bad. I let my excitement about titans get the better of me. You remember how I was with Eren."

You blushed a little when you felt silly. "Yeah, I remember you were all over him."

She covered your hands in kisses. "I'm sorry I made you feel like I didn't love you and that I was leaving you for another woman."

You let out a long sigh. "I'm sorry too. I got so jealous and then I started hating on myself. I should have just talked to you. Going quiet does no good. Not speaking to the people you love the most because you think it'll spare them pain is a bad choice. I only caused more pain. If I would have let this on longer, it would have festered and we would have fallen out and there would be no going back. I don't ever want to lose you. I love you more than anything, Hange. I promise I'll talk more about how I feel."

"I promise I'll talk more as well. I'll promise to take more time to be a couple with you. We're possibly facing death any day now. We have to make the most of the time we have." She leaned up and smiled. "Can I get a kiss?"

You nodded and kissed your girlfriend. "I love you."

"I love you too."

[ghost-likes-drawing]

Just wish I knew what caused it

(Fitpac Exs to Lovers)

Ch.3 (to be named later)

Translations done with assistance from: @caracolast (Portuguese and Beta reader) @keezers and @iridescentpull (Spanish)

First Chapter Previous chapter

The next few days went by in a blur. But a blur with a pattern

Wake up. get dressed. Question if he should be showering because seemingly everyone else in the house is but doesn't. eat breakfast, that Cellbit made. Fill up water bottles. Put on sunscreen. Ramon goes off with Pac to help with anything that needs mechanical repairs or the plumbing and Fit goes with Cellbit and Richarlyson to learn the ropes about everything else. They go back to the house where Pepito had prepared lunch, which were ham sandwiches, that caused Richarlyson to grumble about not waiting till someone got back, who Fit missed but assumed it was the ranch hand. on the first day Cellbit made sure Fit knew that lunch would continue to be covered by him even after the guest house was back in working order. After lunch Richarlyson, and Pac half the time joined in, complaining about the heat and trying to get Cellbit to pause work until it started to cool down again. Cellbit refused but did insist on water bottles getting refilled and sunscreen reapplied for everyone including Richasrlyson, who always insisted he didn't need it because his skin was dark and was no longer to tired to argue about it, before everyone went back to their tasks, with Pepito following along this time. Pepito did some smaller tasks that don't require much effort for Fit or Cellbit physically but would make Pepito feel useful. Pepito would also hold some boards in place for Richarlsyon when he hammered or bring Tools over from their spots so Fit, Cellbit and Richarlyson could keep working. They'd go back again for a snack before being dismissed until dinner. They had Dinner that Pac made. Fit did the dishes then they showered and went to bed.

There was a lot of kind of avoiding looking at Pac or being to near him while also trying to check in and make sure Ramon was okay sprinkled in.

Not to mention he had to sit next to Pac half the time because Pepito wanted to talk to Ramon, clearly happy to have a new person around. But the other half Ramon sat next to Pac to talk about that day’s or the next days projects and Pepito would talk to Cellbit.

Days off were staggered. Each kids day off paired with an Adult’s. Pac and Richarlyson’s lined up, Pepito And Cellbit’s, apparently Bobby and Roier shared one, and Ramon shared his day off with Fit.

Fit managed to piece together that Bobby was 1) the extra room in the hallway without a lock. 2) Roier’s son, around the same age as Ramon and Richarlyson from bits and pieces he over heard. He wasn't paying much attention just trying to get through the day and keep his son safe.

He was One full week into working on the Ranch when the routine got disrupted.

When they came up to the house for Lunch there was another car there. Everyone paused and he hadn't seen Cellbit that happy before.

Cellbit ran ahead and took the steps up to the house two at a time to run in, presumably to see whoever was inside. Which struck Fit as odd but who knows if he missed Phil enough maybe he'd take the steps two at a time to meet him.

Richarlyson pumped his fist “Real lunch!” He cheered and followed his dad up the steps in a normal fashion but clearly still excited.

“What's got them so excited?” Ramon asked noticing the extra car walking side by side with Pac.

Pac huffed in fake annoyance “they always get like this when Roier come home from a trip. Cellbit can be co-dependent and Not enough people to cook when he's not home so lunch is different when he's not home .” Pac chuckled “although I think Richas misses Bobby too and just pretends. They're very close.”

Fit felt his heart ache again and just tried to push it away as Ramon moves to walk with Fit into the house and Fit goes along. Pac following behind.

When they walk in Fit notices the scene in the kitchen. A guy Fit thinks he recognizes but not from recently, is finishing up cooking a showing a very interested Pepito an only half listening kid, who he's presuming to be Bobby, on either side of him. Richarlyson is standing next to Bobby arms thrown around him casually.

Cellbit is leaning on the counter on the living room side watching them with a very soft smile. He takes out his phone and gets a picture. Which makes a noise alerting the 4 that they're being watched.

“Okay culero! Quieres espiarme? Quieres ser un raro?” Roier starts throwing at him while laughing.

“Não não não, vocês só fofos. Foi uma cena estavam bem doméstica” Cellbit put his hands up in defense also laughing

“Te voy a mostrar violencia doméstica. Richas, agarra a tu papá, Bobby pásame un zapato” Roier said back and Bobby and Richarlyson beemed.

“Não, não, não escuta ele!” Cellbit laughed as Richarlyson ran around to the dining room grabbing on to his dad as Bobby found a sandal handing it to Roier.

Roier raised his arm as if he was going to hit Cellbit with it, hard, but he didn't instead just booping Cellbit gently with it before taking everything off the heat “maybe that'll teach you your Lesson Gatinho” the giggles calm down slowly. “Termina de poner la mesa” Roier hummed before making Pepito wash his hands.

Bobby and Richarlyson moved to the table to sit next to each other and talk. Pepito followed shortly after sitting one seat away from Bobby but listening to their conversation Pac squeezed into the Kitchen to wash his hands putting away his phone. Had he been filming?

Fit turned to Ramon who seemed to be considering the scene. He turned to fit and wordlessly signed “Family” With his eyebrow quirked making it a question.

Fit shrugged and signed “Gossip” back which earned a chuckled from Ramon.

Pac squeezed past to go to the table helping bring food over. Fit and Ramon went into the kitchen to wash their hands trying to help with the food too but there wasn't much left so it ended up being Ramon bringing a side dish back out while Fit followed.

Roier had set himself between Bobby and Pepito and Cellbit sat on Pepito’s other side. Pac had sat himself next to Richarlyson. leaving a seat next to Cellbit and next to Pac.

Ramon slotted himself into the seat next to Pac saving Fit the embarrassment of actively sitting himself away from Pac. He sat between Cellbit and Ramon and waited for everyone else to have gotten good before serving himself.

“Así que Pepito, cómo has estado? Me extrañaste?” Roier hummed ruffling Pepito’s hair a bit.

Pepito giggled “Mhm! Pero he estado bien. Y he sido bueno, lo prometo.”

“Te creeré por ahora. No es como que Cellbit me diría si no fuera verdad”

Cellbit shrugged “Ele sempre foi bonzinho. Eu não entendo o porquê de você insistir no contrário”

“He cries pretty frequently. Very sensitive” Roier shot back.

“Isso não significa que ele é malvado. Ele só tem sentimentos mais

complicados. Você não pode ficar a vida toda comparando ele com aqueles dois." Cellbit gestures to Bobby and Richarlyson.

Bobby had been showing Richarlyson something under the table but hearing Cellbit pointing focus at them they looked up.

“O que isso deveria significar?” Richarlyson asked

“You and Bobby didn't cry much” Pac spoke up in English “O mesmo de sempre”

Bobby restrained a snort. “One of these years Tío Doied is going to come over and- ah hey!”

Roier had flicked a bit of Rice at Bobby “don't talk like that.”

“Tío va a venir a mi cumpleaños, verdad?” Pepito asked Looking between Roier and Cellbit.

“Lamentablemente…” Roier frowned but Pepito cheered and Roier did smile at that “Oh qué? Lo quieres más a él que a mí ahora?"

“Nooooo, no lo hago!” Pepito giggled wrapping his arms around Roier as Roier lifted him into a squeeze of a hug.

“Seguro? Porque estoy seguro de que le gustaría oír eso.” Roier rolled his eyes

“Estoy seguro! Te amo más a ti.” Pepito nuzzled into Roier and Fit really was trying to mind his business, he swears he is, especially considering he couldn't actually understand almost any of what was being said but this unit was… diffrent then what Fit was used to but probably wasn't to weird… right?

Eventually lunch was over and there were dishes to do so Fit went to get started on those which confused Roier but Cellbit made him drop it.

Fit listened as the sounds of the daily heat complaint rolled in, Pac was joining in adding bits about staying back and hearing about Roier and Bobby's trip.

“We can do that after snack.” Cellbit reminds him getting up and filling his water bottle “Roier and Bobby you're still excused for the day, Descanse da viajem, tome banho e tal."

And the rest of the routine went normal. Richarlyson complained about the sunscreen, they went out and back to work, they came back for snack, then Ramon and him were free for the evening until dinner. Richarlyson, Pac, Pepito, and Cellbit went to the living room to listen to Roier and Bobby talk about the trip.

Fit tried to push it aside but he was almost certain that as Pac was getting himself and Richarlyson more water, while Fit climed the stairs to take some time for himself, he saw Cellbit sit himself down right against Roier and Roier leaned right into it… odd… but probably nothing. Pac and Mike were close like that when Fit and Pac dated so yea nothing, probably just childhood friends and unknowably close bonds stuff because who would be stupid enough to two time Pac?

Fit shouldn't be thinking like that. He'd stalled halfway up the stairs and his knuckles on his flesh hand were turning white around the hand railing. He needed to calm down… besides why did he care, Pac ended things suddenly. Sure Fit had been running late but Pac could have- and he felt a hand on his shoulder

“Dad are you okay?” He heard and nearly jumped before looking to see Ramon just next to him. He looked like he was going down the stairs keys in hand

“I'm okay, just lost in thought… why do you have the keys?” He asked “my boy attempting to get into some trouble?” He poked at Ramon’s ribs teasingly and Ramon swatted him away.

“No. No, I was just going to make sure none of the lights turned on and look listen to the engine, the drive here was long and basically constant then she hadn't moved in a week so I'm worried about how she's holding up..” Ramon messed with the Keys in his hand looking down and his face gave it all away. He was doing worse then he wanted to let Fit know.

“Alright kid, well umm… you know… I was looking to get away from the house so… maybe I can join you. Make sure the car doesn't slip out of park… or if you really want to be alone we should go into town for gas and icecream after dinner.”

Ramon bit the inside of his cheek clearly thinking about it. “Can we do both?”

“Of course Ramon.” Fit put his hands on Ramon’s shoulders.

Ramon nodded “maybe we drive the truck a bit away from the house?” He asked cautiously.

Fit nodded, “let me get a cooling rag for us both.”

20 minutes later and 20 minutes dirtier Ramon hadn't started talking about what was bothering him and Fit was at a loss. He didn't want to pressure Ramon and make him shut down but at the same time he can't help and be his dad without Ramon saying anything.

“You know, if the pressure of keeping up with Pac is to much or if he's giving you like looks you can stop. Cellbit will understand and your part of the paycheck was going to you or for after graduation. We don't need it.” Fit called, leaning out of the car to talk to Ramon who was under the truck.

“It's not that! No Pac’s been great.” Ramon huffed tightening something, Fit couldn't say what if he was looking, under the car. “He's professional. The most intrusive he's been is I was tense the first few days and he asked if you'd said something about him.” Fit hopped out of the cap of the truck. “And I said no I'm just not used to having a professional looking over my work as I'm doing it since I'm self taugh.” Ramon got himself out from under the car “And then he laughed and told me he wasn't a professional at all, he was taught by his friend who is self taught and then was taught during the war a bit more so whatever I'm doing is probably great.”

Fit nodded “well that's good”

Ramon hopped into the Cab and started the car back up listening intently for any problems before going and checking under the hood

“Sometimes he goes to make a joke then stops halfway through as if forgetting I'm the one with him and not someone else.” Ramon shrugged

“Probably Mike.” Fit recalled aloud “honestly suprised he's not here with him.”

Ramon looked to Fit “what's the story there?”

“Not your business.” Fit teased and Ramon shrugged but his face said he was waiting for Fit to keep going “Mike is probably Pac’s soulmate honestly. They have a bond that makes them as close as you can manage to be to a person emotionally.”

“I didn't know you ever were in a Polycule” Ramon hummed adjusting something inside the engine.

“Oh no Pac and Mike weren't Romantic. They threw up in sync when I asked after meeting them, it was w-” Fit gasped and looked at Ramon in shock as Ramon held back a giggle. “Sneaky, Sneaky, Sneaky. Trying to get your old man's gossip against his will now, huh?”

Ramon shrugged clearly proud of himself “So you and Pac dated.” he stopped what he was doing in thought “so bad breakup I assume?”

Fit hummed “don't worry about it Ramon. As long as it doesn't have an effect on how he treats you none of that matters.”

Ramon shrugged and went back to working. And thing settled into a silence

“I feel kinda isolated.” Ramon finally admitted “and I don't know how to try and like make friends with Richarlyson or Bobby because I don't even like work with them.” He shrugged and closed the hood of the truck “and they're clearly like best friends already so they probably don't want me around away” Ramon started to try and clean some of the grime off his skin.

Fit frowned, he was glad Ramon told him what was bothering him but he didn't know how to help with all of that. “Yea that's pretty stressful to handle with the move and all. not a lot of other options around…”

Ramon groaned Just figiting with the rag now “I wanted this to be a new start Fit… a chance to make new friends and I chocked it!” He threw the rag on the ground. He and Fit stared at it Until Ramon bended down to pick it up “sorry…”

“Don't be sorry, you didn't do anything wrong.” Fit sighed thinking “listen you didn't choke it… you just… need to work at it somehow. Figure out what they like that you like. Find openings. Would it have been easier to make friends with Richarlyson and get him to introduce you to Bobby? Sure. But that doesn't meant you failed fully because you couldn't get that”

Ramon looked at Fit curiously. He gestured for him to keep talking.

“Alright, you don't do work with them.” Fit tried not to let Ramon know he didn't actually have much clue what he should do either. “But we still do meals together, right?”

Ramon nodded hopping onto the hood of the truck and pulling his legs to sit with them crossed infront of him.

“They actually seem to talk to eachother during meals, in English, which means you can understand them. Don't try and listen on anything personal but get a reference for their interests. Listen for something you enjoy too and can talk about. Find a way to get them to talk to you about it if you can.” Fit offered as advice. He wasn't sure if it was actually any good. He kinda made freinds by accident he never was in a situation where he had a limited number of people and felt the need to make freinds.

But the advice clearly made sense to Ramon and he smiled and hugged Fit around the shoulders “Thanks Fit.” He checked the time and started walking to the passenger seat “let's get heading back we need to clean up a bit”

Fit got into the drivers seat and drove back toward the house. And out of the corner of his eyes he could see Ramon preparing to take physical notes. Fit let out a soft sign with a smile.

Sorry for the delay. Life got crazy and I changed jobs and also my Portuguese translator left and I needed to find a new one and then I went though a break up then said translator deactivated and I've been in mourning.

Hope it was worth the wait

Please feel free to send me asks!

[theflyindutchwoman]

I’ve been feeling so upset and down and sad. I hate that they broke up. I hate how he just left Lucy there. I hate how sad my baby girl is in this season. I need them back together, they are so great together. I am so afraid that it will take the whole season for them to reunite romantically and we are left in a chenford drought the rest of the season.

Let me start by sending you a virtual hug, we are going to need it for this journey. That last scene of Lucy has been haunting me… So know that you are not alone in this! As for them getting back together… Listen, this is probably an unpopular opinion (?) and not the one you might be hoping for… but I don't want them back together this season (and I can't believe I'm writing this).

What Tim is going through on a personal level is not something that can be magically fixed in one or two episodes. Otherwise, it just cheapens his storyline. He needs therapy - with someone who is not spying on her clients, by the way (speaking of, I really hope that he doesn't reveal anything incriminating to our resident psychiatrist, that would make things worse on so many levels). He needs to work on himself, he needs to learn to come to terms with his past so he can forgive himself. That's not to say that Lucy can't help him along the way in the future. But, at the very least, he has to start the work.

As for Lucy, she also needs therapy. She needs to focus on herself, to deal with everything that has happened to her in the last couple of months (if not years), to figure out where she goes from there and rebuild her confidence (which should not be dependant on the approval of others). It could be interesting to see her navigate this new stage of her life without Tim at her side. Ever since she started in Mid-Wilshire, he has been her one constant. He was her TO, her Sergeant, her case officer in her last UC mission, her boyfriend… There has been some periods of time without him, of course, like right after her graduation… or after she stopped being his aide… But this time, it won't be as easy to get past this hurdle. Or it shouldn't.

But doesn't mean that they won't interact at all. They still work at the same station and with Tim back on patrol (and as her direct superior officer), they are bound to bump into each other. So we should definitely have some pining moments. And awkward interactions. Maybe some angry words. What I hope, I guess, is that by the end of s6, they will have a meaningful conversation, where Tim explains to Lucy why he broke up. Because I'm not sure she understands why. Scratch that : I'm not sure she even has all the information. We don't know what Tim told her since we didn't see that scene (I'm a bit bitter about it). I think it could be a first step in the right direction. For both of them individually and for their future. But they still have a long road ahead of them. They need to work on their friendship first, before even thinking of being a couple again.

That's going to be the biggest challenge actually : finding the right timing to get them back together. Too soon and you risk ruining that storyline. Too long and your risk losing your audience's interest. I wish I had more comforting words for you, dear Anon. I still believe this could be a wonderful journey, even an empowering and beautiful one for the both of them. And at the moment, I'm holding on to that.

[imagines-by-cleo]

A different punishment

Erwin Smith x Fem!reader

I missed our favorite Commander! I can't believe it's been months since I last wrote an Erwin fic so I dug this out of my drafts and finished it up to share with everyone. My inbox is closed right now so I can't take any requests if you want more but I would still love to hear some feedback in the replies and reblogs!

CW: SMUT, dom/sub, breeding, begging, hair pulling, dirty talk, protected/unprotected sex, car sex, overstimulation

The pain of standing in your best heels like this didn’t bother you, nor did the footboard of your bed digging into your stomach as you were bent over it. The ticking clock synced up in time with the rattling bedframe reminded you how late it was getting, but the increasing tempo informed you that you were in no danger of completely missing your party.

Usually you waited until after you were dressed and at a party to start teasing your husband in hopes of earning a nice punishment for your actions, but you were impatient enough to start before you left and were now facing the repercussions of your actions; or rather taking them from behind.

Erwin being the brilliant tactician that he is was one step ahead of you and formed a plan to deal with you the minute you gave him that look while slowly rolling your thigh high stocking up your leg. The next thing you knew you were burying your face into the sheets and ruining your expertly done makeup.

He felt different with the condom on, at least since it had been so long since he wore one. He was explaining the reason for it in his scolding authoritative voice but you were much too blissed out to even pay attention.

"Are you listening?" He asked, changing his tone drastically.

"Yeah." You lied, whining into the sheets.

He laughed. "If only you were this agreeable all the time."

Approaching your second orgasm, or possibly your third, they were all starting to blend together. You felt that familiar ache in your core, wanting Erwin to join you and to feel him finish inside you. The usual risks and implications that drove you wild just thinking about them didn't have the same impact all because of a thin layer of latex. Reaching behind, you prompted him to take your hand and lean in a little bit closer.

"I'll be good all night, I promise. Please just take it off." You begged fruitlessly.

"Now now, you wouldn't learn your lesson if I did that." He scolded you, his voice heavy on the edge of an orgasm.

"But wouldn't it feel so much better to cum inside? You don't even have to pull out, you can just keep me stuffed full." You suggested, words emphasized in little whines and the occasional gasp.

Only reacting with a deep chuckle, patting your butt gently knowing you would have rather had him spank you. "You're cute when you beg, but there's no getting out of this."

"You want to get me pregnant don't you?" You asked in a final attempt at persuasion.

Erwin gently weaved his fingers into your hair, tilting your head to the side so he could lean in and whisper low in your ear. "You're all mine, and I can breed you whenever I feel like it."

The bass in his growling tone was too much for you to handle, sending you into another orgasm that caused everything below your waist go softly numb while the tingling spread through your whole body. Only staying upright and off the floor by the vice grip his large held on your hips that was getting tighter and tighter.

Insides still churning with every brutal thrust, you couldn't even moan anymore when you came together with him one last time. Just a groan while you felt the condom fill up in you, as disappointed as you were it still felt so good to be full like that. You wanted him to stay, buried deep inside until the afterglow faded but that could take all night. Instead he decided to pull out, throw the condom away and check his watch, leaving you cold on the bed unable to come back to reality.

"We're gonna be late, hurry up and get ready." He told you before leaving, emphasized with a soft smack on your butt.

"Do we still have to go?" You groaned, dragging yourself off the bed and stumbling toward the mirror at the other end of the bedroom.

"I do, and I'm leaving with or without you." He shouted from down the hallway. "Have you seen that tie I bought yesterday?"

"On the kitchen table." You answered, unsure of how you even remembered your own name let alone where he left his damn tie.

Checking the damage in your reflection and seeing the absolute wreck that was now your makeup you made quick work of wiping away the smudged lipstick and streaks of mascara on your cheeks. Before you could reapply the lipstick a hand caught your wrist, Erwin standing behind you wanted to sneak in a quick kiss so he wouldn't make a mess. He moved down to your neck while you finished your makeup, running his hands everywhere he could reach while you melted into his touch.

"You're gonna have to explain why I'm limping to the party." You teased.

"You knew what you were doing when you picked out that dress." He answered.

"I can change it for you if you want." You offered, knowing how much of a pathetic simp you sounded like and loving every second of it.

"No..." He mused for a moment before answering bluntly. "I want you to show everyone what they can't have."

"Yes, sir." You purred.

Driving to the party was a blur, as was walking in and being greeted by other guests. The rest of the night your eyes were glazed over in a post orgasmic haze that just wouldn't fade even after hours of socializing, people would talk to you and your voice and body went on auto pilot finding a way to politely end a conversation so your mind could wander back to hours earlier and think of what would happen when you got home.

You were never far from Erwin, he would constantly put his arm around you while talking to someone or hold your hand while leading you around to meet people. It was hard to tell who was being more clingy as you would just cuddle up to him everytime he pulled you close.

The party wasn't even over by the time you left, even saying goodbye to your friends seemed like it would take longer than you had patience for so the two of you snuck outside quietly back to his car while the lights and noise in the house faded into the distance. He wasn't too impatient to come around and open the door for you, only it wasn't until you were shoved inside and fell on the seat that you realized he opened the back door.

Pressing you between his body and the cool leather seats as he climbed in after you, you molded to him instinctively and perfectly as you wrapped your legs around his hips and your arms over his shoulders. He had left you so satisfied earlier it was no more need inside, even when his fingers had started to tease your oversensitive entrance just right. All you wanted was to touch him, hold him, kiss him while he moaned feeling of you.

Still so wet and ready from before Erwin had no trouble sliding in and moving right away, the lazy self indulgent jerks were a far cry from his usual controlled calculated thrusts. Even the noises he made were out of the ordinary for him, breathy moans just verging on a whimper, showing how pathetically drunk he was on you.

The whole car was starting to rock while the windows collected fog, even if someone were to notice you doubted he would care. It was his car, his woman, he would do whatever whenever he wanted; you held him a little tighter to remind him of that.

A little moan escaped from your mouth when his pace picked up, he was so close and you realized you were too. The image of him losing all self control so deep in you made your core hungry for all of him.

"Inside... Inside..." You babbled, letting him know where you wanted him to finish as if he would anywhere else.

It was hard to tell who came first, your tired legs only jerked a little feeling more of a relief than a climax. Erwin still breathless as warm bursts filled you up, not as much as he would have without the condom earlier but enough to finally fill that void in your core. He didn't make any move to pull out but you kept your legs wrapped tight around him anyway, keeping your warm bodies tangles together for as long as you possibly could.

All you wanted to do was fall asleep in his arms, and he apparently felt the same the way he rested his head in the crook of your neck and eased his weight onto you. The more time passed however the more you were sure that you didn't want to wake up in the car a few hours later and regret your decisions, so reluctantly you started to rouse Erwin.

"Hey, it's time to go." You told him, earning a stubborn groan though you continued to try and push him away.

He lifted off of you, keeping you caged in his arms for a moment while staring down at you and touching a hand to your cheek. "I wish I could keep you like this forever."

You pulled him down for one more sweet lingering kiss before pushing him away again. "C'mon take me home."

[nanomooselet]

Little but Fierce IV

Of course, you can't talk about Meryl without talking about Roberto. He's only there because of her. He's easy to dismiss - oh, drunk old dude who condescends to his female protégé - but he shouldn't be, no more than than Meryl herself should be dismissed.

Roberto is a teacher. He's there to impart lessons. He's also a journalist, so he's there to tell stories. Put them together, and you have the local critical thinker, as well as a good excuse for Meryl to back out if she decides it's too dangerous. He exists to give her choices and to shield her from the consequences of her mistakes, until she's firm enough on her feet to have learned.

And boy howdy, does she need to learn. Meryl got a lot of raw confidence, but it's punctured when she encounters situations she doesn't know how to navigate, mostly the trappings of adulthood - planning ahead, economic hardship, encounters with the law. But also partnership and teamwork.

I pointed it out before but Meryl doesn't have a poker face. Everything she feels or thinks tends to show clear as day. Roberto's more controlled - especially considering he doesn't like or trust the MPs. He uses the slight authority he has to get some information out of these guys, and then Meryl misdirects them. Without ever really discussing it, they form a partnership to protect Vash, and they had to do it together. Roberto wanted to leave him tied up, Meryl was too startled over his identity to talk. And Vash is happy to see it! It's stuff like this that he loves most about humans. (Though he's also playing up the gosh-I'm-just-a-silly-little-guy bit.)

Also, consider the other definition of adult you might know. Check this out.

Meryl goes from marching in like the sheriff to peeking over the edge of the counter like a kitten. Why? Well, apart from the place falling silent and someone yelling that this isn't a place for kids, what did she see?

Sex work probably hasn't played a big part in her life so far. Every character up until these two has worn quite modest clothes, and look at the way these women look back at Meryl. They're not ashamed, they're almost... endeared. They think she's sweet. Girl's just a wee bit intimidated. And Rosa's disinterested hostility probably isn't making it easier.

Meryl's prone to raising her voice and going on lectures, but Rosa tells her to speak up, and that's when Vash and Roberto find her. Specifically, Vash suspected she'd head to the diner and guided Roberto to it, and Roberto sighs that Meryl's a lot of trouble/needs a shorter leash - they formed a partnership to protect Meryl.

(I wonder if these ladies will appear again.)

Roberto's purpose is threefold. 1) Protect Meryl 2) help her achieve what she wants 3) teach by information and by example. He almost never acts outside of those parameters.

I could probably write a whole other series of meta posts about the English dub (and don't think I'm not tempted, but also trapped in meta factory somebody help) but for now, here's one of my favourite exchanges in the first episode. Never mind the exposition.

Meryl: Any day now I'll get my big scoop! Roberto: Any minute now, I'm sure. Meryl: I'll be running the entire bureau before you know it! Roberto: Then could you give me a raise, boss? Meryl: I'm being serious! Roberto: So am I.

What's he being serious about? Money? Nope. (Or only a little.)

He agrees. Meryl's the boss.

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part V

Part VI

Part VII

Part VIII

Part IX