#so I can't put it on there Yet but I want to Remember.
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fanficmanic · 3 days ago
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Yes, all of the above is true, but I want to talk a different point.
The Carla introduction arc showed us just how much Buck puts other people's priorities above his own. Like, in season 1 we saw how he immediately went to help Abby find her mother and asked Athena for her help, but it was just season 1 and Abby was someone he's interested in (can't remember if they had started dating by then or not), so it was technically expected.
But with Carla and Eddie, he was at a point where his girlfriend has ghosted him and was practically using him for free house-sitting services, and he was struggling to come to terms with that. Carla was also someone who was so connected to Abby that it would've been totally understandable if he didn't want to talk to her because she would remind him of his current situation. Not to mention that Maddie had suddenly come back after years of having moved out of Hershey and 3 years of radio silence - no matter how happy he was to have her back, he would have needed some time and space to wrap his head around that.
Yet, with all of that, he was worried about Eddie's situation, and wanted to make things easier for him. He pushed everything he was going through to the side in favor of making sure Eddie didn't have to worry about Christopher's care and wellbeing while he was at work.
After having met Chris only once (maybe twice or 3 times at tops by then), Buck wanted to make sure that he had a better childhood than his, where he knew he was loved and cared for.
Gotta imagine the whiplash for Eddie when Buck introduced him to Carla. For a moment there Eddie was so disappointed and annoyed at the idea Buck would set him up on a date, and then a second later he’s floored by Buck truly knowing what Eddie actually wants and needs, and going out of his way to help him.
“You don’t know me at all if you think I want a date” turned instantly into “You know me so well that you’ve made my biggest priority your own” and it’s only been days or at most a few weeks since they met.
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silverryuan · 20 hours ago
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Riddle Rosehearts with a Siren reader from Jibaro
A/N: "It's weird that I don't have writer's block... I actually have a lot of ideas in my head that I really want to write but due to classes I can't seem to find any time for my hobbies anymore."
Warning: Blood Consumption, Slight Angst
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The Siren or The Golden Woman is a character from Netflix's animation series, "Love, Death, and The Robots". She's the love interest of the deaf soldier from the Jibaro episode, directed by Alberto Mielgo.
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• Your and Riddle's friendship is rather complicated yet it cannot be called a mere acquaintance. Although you don't really talk much you use arm swaying movements to communicate with others, it's almost like some sort of dance or another version of sign language. Rook likes to decipher these actions of yours and Kalim likes to dance with you.
• However, that doesn't mean he tolerates how you let your numb skull friends break the rules in the Heartslabyul dorm. He sometimes wonders if Ace and Deuce became affected by your... tendencies to cause trouble and wreak havoc across the campus. But you only do that as self-defense, as Grim says on your behalf.
• But why in Twisted Wonderland would you randomly scream at people as a defense mechanism? ← Riddle thought as if he doesn't do that himself.
• Riddle never heard you talk but he has heard some rumors associated with your loud screaming. It seems like there's a record of many Savanaclaw beastmen who tried to gang up on you, suddenly did these unusual body movements in reaction to your screaming. As if they're in a trance trying to dance with you but failed miserably.
• The Faculty and Staff were called numerous times to break it up when the students started fighting themselves. When the students snap out of it they don't remember what happened. The only thing they described was hearing beautiful singing, which doesn't make sense...
• Is this your Unique Magic? It's a little similar to Ruggie's Laugh With Me with a mix of Jamil's Snake Whisper, albeit more violent. Because of those incidents, you'd been put into the avoid-at-all-costs pedestal in the student body.
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• The first time he interacted with you was in the cafeteria. Back when he was, ahem, overly strict before his Overblot. He did not like how the collared fool named Ace described him and had second thoughts about removing his collar. Before he could scold Ace, you suddenly leaped onto the table and proceeded to stare at him while moving your head from side to side.
• That was also the moment where he first learned how instinctual you can be when you feel threatened. He yelped and backed away from you, not without uttering an excuse about another rule being violated. On that day, he thought that you were the same as Floyd. Weird and eccentric.
• Riddle wanted to collar you at that moment but he remembered that you had no magic, so he didn't. But by the Great Sevens, he was proven wrong. Deadly wrong. He had become one of the victims that had fallen to the extent of the severity your magic can go.
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• Him Overblotting was far too unsightly of a dorm leader. He broke too many rules, hurt too many of his dormmates, nearly destroyed his dormitory, unaware that his own mother created a monster like him. He held on to his delusions of following every rule down to every detail of it, thinking it was the best for him. But no...
• He knew that it wasn't. He knew deep down that he was hurting others, his friend Trey, but he denied it because they broke the rules. So he punished them because he was right and that he should teach them not to break another rule.
• But what rule is suitable for this? His demented form? His Overblot rampant for control? Who is even right? What rule should he follow to make the pain stop? His mother didn't teach him this... Was what Trappola said was right?
• The thoughts and memories of his past worsened his condition and only made him more mad. He felt his head pounding too much. The black tears of ink wouldn't stop. He hadn't this felt vulnerable and helpless in a long time. It seems that the time he spent with his mother managed to numb the pain as well as his emotions.
• His vision turned dark as the blot consumed him. He cannot breathe. The monster was slowly killing him. Riddle in turn slowly embraces the void, embracing his final moments.
• Somebody... Anybody... Please... Save... Him.
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• ... But it was too late for him.
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"Everyone... Run... Ake... Cov....!"
• At least he get to hear Trey's voice one last time. His voice was panicked and muffled by the blot but nonetheless, Riddle wants to hear it.
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"Yuu! What... doing...?!.... Dangerous...!!"
• Was that your name? Trey is yelling at you. What were you doing?
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"GET BACK!"
• What?
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A̷̞̖̤̩̰̭̼̹͇̘͇̫̭̠ͭͤ͑̈͐̽͛͗̂̆͊̾ͥ̄ͪ̑̎̈̆̀͢͡҉͟҉̶̷̷̨̡̛̀͘̕̕͘͟͟͟͞͠͡A̷̍̓̋̂͘͠͝A̷̶̗͍̺̱͎̠͓̙̖̞̱͇̩͈̒͆ͨͬ̎̌͒͑̓̊͒̈̑̇ͪ͂͝ͅ͏̡̧͜͟͟͢͞͠͝҉́̀͠͠A̳̬͉̫̥̤̩̰̺̯͍͉̪͈̭̜̮̣̣ͬͨ̅̈́ͣͬ͌ͦ̚҉̸̵̡̧̧A̲̫̤̫̥̟͚͕̞̦̣̭̦̞͍̣̮͉̺̮͛ͭ̽ͣͬ̓ͧ̀̐̅ͅͅͅA̵̷̶̧̪͇͈̖̖͔̺̙̦͆̇́̆̏̋̓ͥ̍̓͌͆͂͗̄ͪͯ̚҉̡̡͏̸̶̶̛̕͢͡A̵̷̧̡̛̦̭̰̟͇̯̱͙͇̣̖̩̻̞͙̰̪̱̫͔ͮ͂ͧ̉͋̎ͨ̃ͥ͋̈̀́̕͝҉͡҉̴͠҉̸̡̡̡̀͜͡͝A̷͈̭̠̗͍̹̠̙̗͙͕͎͍̘̥̥̜̹͚̺͚̍ͪ̾̎̔̔ͪ̉ͣͣ̾̊͗̇́ͣ̍̆͐͋͟͠ͅͅ҉̶̛́̕͟͟͢͡À͍̹͉̟̞̼̰͈̻̱̞̥̰͊͒̃̈̓́̿͐ͯ̑͑̍͂ͬ̇ͪ̀̆̚͡ͅͅǍ͚̮͈̰̤͍̹̖͚̮̤͉ͥͬ̏̒̈͌̒̅͆͊̌ͥ͒̔ͮ̂́̀͢͟͟͝҉̧̛̕A̦͎̫͊̈́̌̄̅̓ͦ͂ͬ̔̓̅̍̂ͯ̈́ͭ͂̓͝A̶̷̴̷̸̢̧̡̡̨̡̛̗̖̥͉̰̞̫͉̦̮̦̹̗̗̭̒̋̕͘͘͜͜͟͢͢͞͏̶̕͏͏A̪͍̗͈̤͔̗̠͉̯̮͍̬̪͓̭͕̱̫̞ͮ̓ͦͪ̄͛̄̎ͮͫ͌̽ͧ̈̓ͧ̽̃̽ͮ̐ͭͅͅ
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• What was that? What is that sound?
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A̷̞̖̤̩̰̭̼̹͇̘͇̫̭̠ͭͤ͑̈͐̽͛͗̂̆͊̾ͥ̄ͪ̑̎̈̆̀͢͡҉͟҉̶̷̷̨̡̛̀͘̕̕͘͟͟͟͞͠͡A̷̍̓̋̂͘͠͝A̷̶̗͍̺̱͎̠͓̙̖̞̱͇̩͈̒͆ͨͬ̎̌͒͑̓̊͒̈̑̇ͪ͂͝ͅ͏̡̧͜͟͟͢͞͠͝҉́̀͠͠A̳̬͉̫̥̤̩̰̺̯͍͉̪͈̭̜̮̣̣ͬͨ̅̈́ͣͬ͌ͦ̚҉̸̵̡̧̧A̲̫̤̫̥̟͚͕̞̦͛ͭ̽ͣͬ̓ͧ̀̐̅ͅͅͅA̵̷̶̧̪͇͈̖̖͔̺̙̦͆̇́̆̏̋̓ͥ̍̓͌͆͂͗̄ͪͯ̚҉̡̡͏̸̶̶̛̕͢͡A̵̷̧̡̛̦̭̰̟͇̯̱͙͇̣̖̩̻̞͙̰̪̱̫͔ͮ͂ͧ̉͋̎ͨ̃ͥ͋̈̀́̕͝҉͡҉̴͠҉̸̡̡̡̀͜͡͝A͈̭̠̗͍̹̠̙̗͙͕͎͍̘̥̍ͪ̾̎̔̔ͪ̉ͣͣ̾̊͗̇́ͣ̍̆͐͋ͅÀ͊͒̃̈̓́̿͐ͯ̑͑̍͂ͬ̚Ǎ͚̮͈̰̤͍̹̖ͥͬ̏̒̈͌̒̅͆͊̌ͥ͒̔ͮ̂A̦͎̫͊̈́̌̄̅̓ͦ͂ͬ̔̓̅̍̂ͯ̈́ͭ͂̓͝A̶̷̴̷̸̢̧̡̡̨̡̛̗̖̥͉̰̞̫͉̦̮̦̹̗̗̭̒̋̕͘͘͜͜͟͢͢͞͏̶̕͏͏A̪͍̗͈̤͔̗̠͉̯̮ͮ̓ͦͪ̄͛̄̎ͮͫ͌̽ͧ̈̓ͧ̽̃̽ͮ̐ͭͅȦ̲̟̭̪̺̜̻̞̹̯͕̱͋ͥͤͩͦ͊̀̕͏̧A̢̠̻̠̩̜̥̩͙̺̓ͤ̾̓ͥ̏͛̅̔̉ͥ̾ͭ̌͋ͦͤ̇͐ͭ̆̚A̗͈̜̱̞̓ͤ̑��͓̹͓̩̼À̶̷̵̴̧̢̛̜̯̩͕̟̟̞͈̒̅̇̀̇̔ͭ̔̄̄͆͑ͥ̂̃̉́͘̕͟͞͞͞ͅ҉̷̨̨̛̀͘͠͞Ȃ̮͈̝͈̩͈͚͙̭̙̪̦̺͚̾͆͆́̃͋͂͆͐͆ͭ̋̓Å̵̷̡̼͖͕̪̱̠͓̼̪̜̕̕͢͏͏̷͝A̜̘̺̭ͩ̃̅̀͐͋ͤ͐ͪ̅ͣͬ̌̊̐̽̆̃͒̿͛̿̌̉̀ͫ̉À̷̴̸̢̛͚̲͉̠̞̺̭̘̐ͬͥ́͗̏̊̆̾̒̒ͥͭ̽̋̓̑̀̀͘͞͞͝͡Ą̴̷̢̢̨̧̛͇͖͓̟̪͗̓͑̂́́̀̚͘͢͜҉
• It's coming closer...!
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A̷̞̖̤̩̰̭̼̹͇̘͇̫̭̠ͭͤ͑̈͐̽͛͗̂̆͊̾ͥ̄ͪ̑̎̈̆̀͢͡҉͟҉̶̷̷̨̡̛̀͘̕̕͘͟͟͟͞͠͡A̷̍̓̋̂͘͠͝A̷̶̗͍̺̱͎̠͓̙̖̞̱͇̩͈̒͆ͨͬ̎̌͒͑̓̊͒̈̑̇ͪ͂͝ͅ͏̡̧͜͟͟͢͞͠͝҉́̀͠͠A̳̬͉̫̥̤̩̰̺̯͍͉̪͈̭̜̮̣̣ͬͨ̅̈́ͣͬ͌ͦ̚҉̸̵̡̧̧A̲̫̤̫̥̟͚͕̞̦̣̭̦̞͍̣̮͉̺̮͛ͭ̽ͣͬ̓ͧ̀̐̅ͅͅͅA̵̷̶̧̪͇͈̖̖͔̺̙̦͆̇́̆̏̋̓ͥ̍̓͌͆͂͗̄ͪͯ̚҉̡̡͏̸̶̶̛̕͢͡A̵̷̧̡̛̦̭̰̟͇̯̱͙͇̣̖̩̻̞͙̰̪̱̫͔ͮ͂ͧ̉͋̎ͨ̃ͥ͋̈̀́̕͝҉͡҉̴͠҉̸̡̡̡̀͜͡͝A̷͈̭̠̗͍̹̠̙̗͙͕͎͍̘̥̥̜̹͚̺͚̍ͪ̾̎̔̔ͪ̉ͣͣ̾̊͗̇́ͣ̍̆͐͋͟͠ͅͅ҉̶̛́̕͟͟͢͡À͍̹͉̟̞̼̰͈̻̱̞̥̰͊͒̃̈̓́̿͐ͯ̑͑̍͂ͬ̇ͪ̀̆̚͡ͅͅǍ͚̮͈̰̤͍̹̖͚̮̤͉ͥͬ̏̒̈͌̒̅͆͊̌ͥ͒̔ͮ̂́̀͢͟͟͝҉̧̛̕A̦͎̫͊̈́̌̄̅̓ͦ͂ͬ̔̓̅̍̂ͯ̈́ͭ͂̓͝A̶̷̴̷̸̢̧̡̡̨̡̛̗̖̥͉̰̞̫͉̦̮̦̹̗̗̭̒̋̕͘͘͜͜͟͢͢͞͏̶̕͏͏A̛̪͍̗͈̤͔̗̠͉̯̮͍̬̪͓̭͕̱̫̞͍̺̗ͮ̓ͦͪ̄͛̄̎ͮͫ͌̽ͧ̈̓ͧ̽̃̽ͮ̐ͭ̕͜͟͜͠͝ͅͅ҉̶̴̧̨̀͟͜Ȧ̲̟̭̪̺̜̻̞̹̯͕̱͋ͥͤͩͦ͊̀̕͏̧A̢̠̻̠̩̜̥̩͙̺̓ͤ̾̓ͥ̏͛̅̔̉ͥ̾ͭ̌͋ͦͤ̇͐ͭ̆̚Ą̵̵̸̨̛̗͈̜̱̞̞͓̹͓̩̼̪̙̯̹̠̜̩͙̙͕͈͔̮̓ͤ̑̕͢͜͟͞͏̨̡͢͢͢À̶̷̵̴̧̢̛̜̯̩͕̟̟̞͈̒̅̇̀̇̔ͭ̔̄̄͆͑ͥ̂̃̉́͘̕͟͞͞͞ͅ҉̷̨̨̛̀͘͠͞Ȃ̮͈̝͈̩͈͚͙̭̙̪̦̺͚̾͆͆́̃͋͂͆͐͆ͭ̋̓Å̵̷̡̼͖͕̪̱̠͓̼̪̜̕̕͢͏͏̷͝A̜̘̺̭̰̤̱̲ͩ̃̅̀͐͋ͤ͐ͪ̅ͣͬ̌̊̐̽̆̃͒̿͛̿̌̉̀ͫ̉̀̀͘͟͟͢҉̴̸̨͜͠͡À̷̴̸̢̛͚̲͉̠̞̺̭̘̐ͬͥ́͗̏̊̆̾̒̒ͥͭ̽̋̓̑̀̀͘͞͞͝͡Ą̴̷̢̢̨̧̛͇͖͓̟̪͗̓͑̂́́̀̚͘͢͜҉̷̛̀̀͘͜͠͝͡͡A̢̹̥̬̖̘̘͓̥̮͕͋̐͆͌͑͋́ͬ͆ͫͪ̅̔́̊̋͆ͧ̈́ͧ̆ͯ͌̄̆́͟͝ͅ͏͝Ą̸̴̸̧̨̡̫̫̠̳͉͓̦͓̘̯̳͖̣͎̲͕̟̠̔̃̽́ͪ̔ͮ̅ͩ̎̔͂̉̇͒ͬ̏́̀̕͢͟͞͝͞͠ͅÀ̧̡̛̛̩̻̫͚̞̹̱̙̝̩̘̩̟̠̥̐̈́̾͊ͨ͊͢͜͡͏̶̵̷̴̴̵̧̨̨̕͜͢͏́Ȃ͇͉̣͎̇ͬ̾̇ͦͮ͂̈́̾͗̓̍̂̈ͦ͜͡͠҉̷̴̢̢̛͜͡͝҉Ą̶̴̸̨̧̛͉̠̦̤͔͓̯̠͎̩͉͐̄ͭ̎ͮ͊̌̓́̅̎̇ͦ͐̇҉̵̵̨̧͘͘͏̴̴̵̵̡̧Ã̷͚̗̞̗͎͎̳̑̆́̅ͭ̌̑̌̓̈ͯ͌ͤ͗ͭ̀͒͛ͮͮͩ̚͘҉̶̡̡̛̛͘͘͘͟͞҉̴̸̷̷̢̛́͘̕͟͢͡͠Ả̦̞̠̳̱̙̠̺̿̓ͯ͆͂̈̀ͯ͝͏̨̀͘͟͟͟͠͏̴̧̢̨͘͘͘̕͜͜͞͠͡͏̴Ȁ͖̲̩̤͇̞͇͚̞̭͈̤̱̞̖͂̿͒̓ͩ͆̀̾̏ͣ̀̒͂͑̈́̿̿ͪ͐͐̃̆ͮͯ͊ͅ͏̴̛̀́͟A̹̱̩̯͖̳̤̼͍͔̞̬̘̖̥̫͍̦͎̺͕̭̰̤͛ͨ̆ͤ͋̇̄͌̆̽ͥͪ̓̄ͥ̅̒̕ͅ҉A̴̴̶̸̶̶̡̦̣͈̯̤̖̯̣͙̖̪̫͕͕̲̼͍͍̪͎̲̩͜͟͝ͅ͏́Ā̶̸̵̸̢̛̬͇̫̺̜̖̫͉̫̟̹̳̥̪ͫͭ̓ͤ͑̎͐̐͆͆̇͌͊͊̽̄̏͗́̂͘͢͢͢͜͟͠͝͞҉̴̛͏̵̸̧́͘A̸̛͕̭̫̜̳̲͍͈̪͍̫͓̞͓̠͈ͦ͊͐̽͆͊̿̍̽ͥͮ̈́ͬ̈ͯ̈́̎͑͒ͫ̀̅̅͝ͅĄ̴̴̵̴̡̦̪͕̭͕͚͚̝͉̝̻̙͓̤͚̩̫̯̥̞͔̗̑̽͑́̔̂͌̓̽ͤ̀̈ͨ̈́̔̉͋̏̍ͫ̈́̆ͭ͆̎́͢͠͠҉̷̷̧҉̀Ă͖̥̘̺͖̭͙̗̗̰͔̹̱͚͓̣̺̥̳͇͍̏̐̈ͥ̀ͤ͂̎ͨ̀̓̆̌͠͏͘͟͡҉͏͏̴̶̡͠͏̧̧̛́̀͘͟͞͞͡͠͠҉A̛̛͖͙̠̭̼̟̱̘̤̬͙̦͓͉̖͉ͫ̀̐̈́̍̒͒ͣͮ̌ͨͨ̒͗̽̋ͧͯͤ̚̚̚͘͜͜͟͡͝ͅͅA̷̛̘̰͍͉͔̥̹͚͖̮͇̦̻̪͚̪̮̗͚̳̮̫͚̜͌̈͗ͭ̎̅ͨͫ̆ͯͦͦ̿̈́̈́ͩ͊̐ͮ̆ͩ͑ͨA̵͈̼͇̠̩̤̱̮̳̠̝͕͛ͧͩ̃̅̈̍̾͊́̈́̌̀ͦͩͦͨ̋ͦ̌̃̅͏̵͢҉̶̡̛́̀͠͏͏͏͏͝A̾̓ͮͬ̄ͨͣ͆��̸̤̞̝͕̗͕̣̣̼̫̻̀͢͏҉͜͜҉̸̕A̶̶̸̡̧̨̧̹̪̬̩͖͖͈̭͔̯ͥͬͩ͗̒̌̾ͣ̑́́́͘͘̕̕͘͟͜͟͟͝͡͠͡͝͡͝ͅÁ̵̡̫̭̩̙͎̺̞̝̹̥̝̤̯͖̆̈́̉̈́̊͊͑ͮ̀́̚͘͘͜͢͞͠͏̀͏͏҉̸̡̀A̛̰͓̬̙̮̖̫̤̙͍̤̘͚͕̱̬̱̝̗̪͖̲̅ͨͣ̀̓̎̎̿̊̑̌̓͒ͮ͜͠҉̶̛͢͏̶̴̸̨̡̀̀͘͝͞Â̱͈̬̘̥̟͕̘̘͙̺͉͍͕͇͖̄͋ͩ́ͦ̓̌̊ͦ͐̂͛̈̽́͟͝͏̶̷̸̸̵̵̨̧̢́́̀͘͘͘͟͜͟͜͡͡͝Ą̷̧̜̮̲̟̥͎͕͉̖͉͖̩͈̮̺̂͘͢͝͠͞͠͏͞Ạ̴̶̢̠͎͖̥̙͙̱̼̯̻́̐̑̽̈́͆̊̂ͫͬͤͯͨ̾̔̑̈ͩ͛ͣ̎̏̆̏ͯ̓̊͘͟͜͠͞͝͏̧̛́̕͟͜͡Ą̸̷̷̴̡̛̪͙̻͇̬̲͖̪͖̅̌̓̆͊ͨ̏̿̓͆͑̄̍ͦ̊ͮ̇͋̏͌̾̑̾̈̍ͧ͜͟͞͞͡͡͠͞ͅA̬̭͉͙͓͖͇̰͇͍̾͂̄ͯ̔̉̿ͮ̍͆ͮͨ̚A̸̵̡̢̠̞̳͓̦̹ͬ̊ͭ͆͗͂ͮ͊͘͘͡͝͠ͅ҉̵̶̵̴̡̢̧͟͜͡͠͠͝҉̸҉A̶̶̧͈̝̞̻̺̙̭ͫ̐̀͘̕͘̕͟͝҉҉͢Ạ̷̧̡̛̛̓́͟͜͠͝͝͝Ǎ̷̡̢̛͔̠̭̙̣̖͎̬͈̥́ͬ̋͂͂ͤ͋ͧ͑ͩ̂̽ͯͮ̒̅ͪ̀̊̒̎ͩͨ̈́̈͌͢͝͞͠ͅÂ̸̧̪ͮ̋͌̎̉͋ͨ͑̊̎ͩ̈́̎͒̀͜͝҉̸͜͞͡A̴̧̧̢̢̨̘̠̹̱̻̤͖̫̯̞̬͖̗̠͚̳̲͓̪̿̍ͨͦ͛̓̍͊̀͊͗́ͣ̚͡͞͏͢҉̷̸͘͏Ą̴̸̵̴̛̻͓̯̞͇̻͢͟͠͡҉̵҉̶̴̡̛̕͘͜͜͜͡͠Ą̵̹̮̭͉̦̺͔̆͟͝͡͡͞Ą̴̷̡̨̨̧̨̰͔̱̻̺͓͇̩̝̺̣͉̦̗̳͆̀ͦ̆ͧ͛ͨ͆ͯ̅ͫ̽̊̄̅̓ͬͦͣ̍ͪ̋̎̚͘͘͘͢͟͡͝͞A̢ͯ̍͑͐̎̆̅͛̅͒̉̒͋ͣͤ̅͂̆̐ͨͭͤ̐ͣ̚҉̀͏̶̷̸̸̵̨̢̧̢̡̡̛̛́͘͢͠͡͞͝͠͝A̘̱̪͎̟̯̪̔͗̄ͫ̋ͧ͌̄͊͛̈́ͫ̍͆ͬ͛ͤͧ҉̶́҉̸̴̨̢̡́́͢͟͡͝A̷̶̴̵̡̛̘̩̙̯̜̩̦̟̱̼̤͉̭̲̟̹͇̯̗̱̘̲̔ͥ̌̅̒̽́̀́͘͢͜͜͞͠͏̵̡́̀͢͞҉̨͏̧͟
• Riddle cradled his head as a piercing shriek breaks the sound barrier, the void around him started falling apart from the shockwaves.
• It sounds awful... Like a thousand banshees shouting and crying inside his head...
• How it painfully reminded him of his mother yelling at him!
• How it sounded like her voice multiplied in every direction surrounding him and started screaming at him...!
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• But it stopped. Everything went silent...
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• The cries of the damned were replaced by beautiful melodic singing...
• ... It was hypnotizing him.
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"Riddle! Snap out of it!"
"Rosehearts! Stop this madness!"
"Riddle, please, can you hear us?"
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• Outside from Riddle's caged mind, his Overblot form and monster were in a spiral, desperately fighting back to whatever magic you've casted upon him. The more you screamed, the more Riddle suffered.
• Thank the Sevens Crowley managed to make himself useful and evacuated the rest of the students. Otherwise they'd fall under your magic's attack range too. Trey and Cater made a good call summoning magic shields around themselves before you attacked.
""̨̌̽AA̯̝ͪ͏A̠̭̠ͯ̀̀ȀA̱̫̯ͣ̔̍Ā͔̞͉̈́U̗͡U͇̭̯U̬̜ͪ̅͡U̝̟̮G͎͓͇ͥ̅̓G͈̜̙G̬̝͉͊̾G͒͒͡H͇ͯͩ̑H̹̬́͌H͓̫̆ͨH̵̗̚!ͫͫ̍!̦̬͗ͤ̌́҉!͙͚͂̓ͮ!̷͍̝͊͐!̖̟̦́̓͒͘͘ ̡ͪ͑S̷̫̓ͧ́́T̫̐Õ̵̳̙̣̾̂P̶̛ ̰͙̈́͜͞Ȋ͔̺̭̆͞T̐̚͏͝.͇͙̤̐̐ͩ͘͠.̩͗ͤ.̢̦̱̝̚͘!̢͕ ̸̺͈̤͌̃͘S͈̺̘ͦ̅͟T͍̩̠O̸̞͈̹ͥͦͩ͟P͆͗̍͏̧ ̴̜̦Ţ̷̲̙͕H̤̰̤̀͜A̜͙͉ͧͣ͂T͙͊́͞.͚ͪ̇̽.́͟.̬̯̜ͭͫ͘!̵ A̵̝̗̖A̞͙̣̓̏A͍̅͢A͆̈͌Uͧͮͦ҉͏U̶͇̰̗U̘̭̗̔͐U̡̱̜̳ͯ̿G͠G̝̤̙͌̀͏G̪̬̜G͙̳ͯ͏̴Ĥ̬̜͕̌͝"̜̃͟
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• Riddle, who is now covered in ink from head to toe, is thrashing and destroying everything that comes near him. His Blot monster kept bashing its head on the ground. You were unfazed by his sudden change of aggressiveness and screamed louder.
• Even if he threw projectiles at you, your shrieks' shockwaves would deflect it with strong gusts of wind. Cracks began to appear on the monster's glass head.
"W-what's happening to him...?"
"He's weakened by Henchman's Unique Magic!"
"Eh?! You mean Siren! Yuu's Unique Magic is enough to make him like this?!"
"Focus, Deuce!"
"R-right, sorry!"
"Time to end this, guys... Split Card!"
"He's almost down. Cover us, Yuu! Doodle Suit!"
"I summon forth... Cauldron!"
"Fnyaaaagh!"
A̷̞̖̤̩̰̭̼̹͇̘͇̫̭̠ͭͤ͑̈͐̽͛͗̂̆͊̾ͥ̄ͪ̑̎̈̆̀͢͡҉͟҉̶̷̷̨̡̛̀͘̕̕͘͟͟͟͞͠͡A̷̍̓̋̂͘͠͝A̷̶̗͍̺̱͎̠͓̙̖̞̱͇̩͈̒͆ͨͬ̎̌͒͑̓̊͒̈̑̇ͪ͂͝ͅ͏̡̧͜͟͟͢͞͠͝҉́̀͠͠A̳̬͉̫̥̤̩̰̺̯͍͉̪͈̭̜̮̣̣ͬͨ̅̈́ͣͬ͌ͦ̚҉̸̵̡̧̧A̲̫̤̫̥̟͚͕̞̦̣̭̦̞͍̣̮͉̺̮͛ͭ̽ͣͬ̓ͧ̀̐̅ͅͅͅA̵̷̶̧̪͇͈̖̖͔̺̙̦͆̇́̆̏̋̓ͥ̍̓͌͆͂͗̄ͪͯ̚҉̡̡͏̸̶̶̛̕͢͡A̵̷̧̡̛̦̭̰̟͇̯̱͙͇̣̖̩̻̞͙̰̪̱̫͔ͮ͂ͧ̉͋̎ͨ̃ͥ͋̈̀́̕͝҉͡҉̴͠҉̸̡̡̡̀͜͡͝A̷͈̭̠̗͍̹̠̙̗͙͕͎͍̘̥̥̜̹͚̺͚̍ͪ̾̎̔̔ͪ̉ͣͣ̾̊͗̇́ͣ̍̆͐͋͟͠ͅͅ҉̶̛́̕͟͟͢͡À͍̹͉̟̞̼̰͈̻̱̞̥̰͊͒̃̈̓́̿͐ͯ̑͑̍͂ͬ̇ͪ̀̆̚͡ͅͅǍ͚̮͈̰̤͍̹̖͚̮̤͉ͥͬ̏̒̈͌̒̅͆͊̌ͥ͒̔ͮ̂́̀͢͟͟͝҉̧̛̕A̦͎̫͊̈́̌̄̅̓ͦ͂ͬ̔̓̅̍̂ͯ̈́ͭ͂̓͝A̶̷̴̷̸̢̧̡̡̨̡̛̗̖̥͉̰̞̫͉̦̮̦̹̗̗̭̒̋̕͘͘͜͜͟͢͢͞͏̶̕͏͏A̛̪͍̗͈̤͔̗̠͉̯̮͍̬̪͓̭͕̱̫̞͍̺̗ͮ̓ͦͪ̄͛̄̎ͮͫ͌̽ͧ̈̓ͧ̽̃̽ͮ̐ͭ̕͜͟͜͠͝ͅͅ҉̶̴̧̨̀͟͜Ȧ̲̟̭̪̺̜̻̞̹̯͕̱͋ͥͤͩͦ͊̀̕͏̧A̢̠̻̠̩̜̥̩͙̺̓ͤ̾̓ͥ̏͛̅̔̉ͥ̾ͭ̌͋ͦͤ̇͐ͭ̆̚Ą̵̵̸̨̛̗͈̜̱̞̞͓̹͓̩̼̪̙̯̹̠̜̩͙̙͕͈͔̮̓ͤ̑̕͢͜͟͞͏̨̡͢͢͢À̶̷̵̴̧̢̛̜̯̩͕̟̟̞͈̒̅̇̀̇̔ͭ̔̄̄͆͑ͥ̂̃̉́͘̕͟͞͞͞ͅ҉̷̨̨̛̀͘͠͞Ȃ̮͈̝͈̩͈͚͙̭̙̪̦̺͚̾͆͆́̃͋͂͆͐͆ͭ̋̓Å̵̷̡̼͖͕̪̱̠͓̼̪̜̕̕͢͏͏̷͝A̜̘̺̭̰̤̱̲ͩ̃̅̀͐͋ͤ͐ͪ̅ͣͬ̌̊̐̽̆̃͒̿͛̿̌̉̀ͫ̉̀̀͘͟͟͢҉̴̸̨͜͠͡À̷̴̸̢̛͚̲͉̠̞̺̭̘̐ͬͥ́͗̏̊̆̾̒̒ͥͭ̽̋̓̑̀̀͘͞͞͝͡Ą̴̷̢̢̨̧̛͇͖͓̟̪͗̓͑̂́́̀̚͘͢͜҉̷̛̀̀͘͜͠͝͡͡A̢̹̥̬̖̘̘͓̥̮͕͋̐͆͌͑͋́ͬ͆ͫͪ̅̔́̊̋͆ͧ̈́ͧ̆ͯ͌̄̆́͟͝ͅ͏͝Ą̸̴̸̧̨̡̫̫̠̳͉͓̦͓̘̯̳͖̣͎̲͕̟̠̔̃̽́ͪ̔ͮ̅ͩ̎̔͂̉̇͒ͬ̏́̀̕͢͟͞͝͞͠ͅÀ̧̡̛̛̩̻̫͚̞̹̱̙̝̩̘̩̟̠̥̐̈́̾͊ͨ͊͢͜͡͏̶̵̷̴̴̵̧̨̨̕͜͢͏́Ȃ͇͉̣͎̇ͬ̾̇ͦͮ͂̈́̾͗̓̍̂̈ͦ͜͡͠҉̷̴̢̢̛͜͡͝҉Ą̶̴̸̨̧̛͉̠̦̤͔͓̯̠͎̩͉͐̄ͭ̎ͮ͊̌̓́̅̎̇ͦ͐̇҉̵̵̨̧͘͘͏̴̴̵̵̡̧Ã̷͚̗̞̗͎͎̳̑̆́̅ͭ̌̑̌̓̈ͯ͌ͤ͗ͭ̀͒͛ͮͮͩ̚͘҉̶̡̡̛̛͘͘͘͟͞҉̴̸̷̷̢̛́͘̕͟͢͡͠Ả̦̞̠̳̱̙̠̺̿̓ͯ͆͂̈̀ͯ͝͏̨̀͘͟͟͟͠͏̴̧̢̨͘͘͘̕͜͜͞͠͡͏̴Ȁ͖̲̩̤͇̞͇͚̞̭͈̤̱̞̖͂̿͒̓ͩ͆̀̾̏ͣ̀̒͂͑̈́̿̿ͪ͐͐̃̆ͮͯ͊ͅ͏̴̛̀́͟A̹̱̩̯͖̳̤̼͍͔̞̬̘̖̥̫͍̦͎̺͕̭̰̤͛ͨ̆ͤ͋̇̄͌̆̽ͥͪ̓̄ͥ̅̒̕ͅ҉A̴̴̶̸̶̶̡̦̣͈̯̤̖̯̣͙̖̪̫͕͕̲̼͍͍̪͎̲̩͜͟͝ͅ͏́Ā̶̸̵̸̢̛̬͇̫̺̜̖̫͉̫̟̹̳̥̪ͫͭ̓ͤ͑̎͐̐͆͆̇͌͊͊̽̄̏͗́̂͘͢͢͢͜͟͠͝͞҉̴̛͏̵̸̧́͘A̸̛͕̭̫̜̳̲͍͈̪͍̫͓̞͓̠͈ͦ͊͐̽͆͊̿̍̽ͥͮ̈́ͬ̈ͯ̈́̎͑͒ͫ̀̅̅͝ͅĄ̴̴̵̴̡̦̪͕̭͕͚͚̝͉̝̻̙͓̤͚̩̫̯̥̞͔̗̑̽͑́̔̂͌̓̽ͤ̀̈ͨ̈́̔̉͋̏̍ͫ̈́̆ͭ͆̎́͢͠͠҉̷̷̧҉̀Ă͖̥̘̺͖̭͙̗̗̰͔̹̱͚͓̣̺̥̳͇͍̏̐̈ͥ̀ͤ͂̎ͨ̀̓̆̌͠͏͘͟͡҉͏͏̴̶̡͠͏̧̧̛́̀͘͟͞͞͡͠͠҉A̛̛͖͙̠̭̼̟̱̘̤̬͙̦͓͉̖͉ͫ̀̐̈́̍̒͒ͣͮ̌ͨͨ̒͗̽̋ͧͯͤ̚̚̚͘͜͜͟͡͝ͅͅA̷̛̘̰͍͉͔̥̹͚͖̮͇̦̻̪͚̪̮̗͚̳̮̫͚̜͌̈͗ͭ̎̅ͨͫ̆ͯͦͦ̿̈́̈́ͩ͊̐ͮ̆ͩ͑ͨA̵͈̼͇̠̩̤̱̮̳̠̝͕͛ͧͩ̃̅̈̍̾͊́̈́̌̀ͦͩͦͨ̋ͦ̌̃̅͏̵͢҉̶̡̛́̀͠͏͏͏͏͝A̸͎̤̞̝͕̗͕̣̣̼̫̻̾̓ͮͬ̄ͨͣ͆̀͢͏҉͜͜҉̸̕A̶̶̸̡̧̨̧̹̪̬̩͖͖͈̭͔̯ͥͬͩ͗̒̌̾ͣ̑́́́͘͘̕̕͘͟͜͟͟͝͡͠͡͝͡͝ͅÁ̵̡̫̭̩̙͎̺̞̝̹̥̝̤̯͖̆̈́̉̈́̊͊͑ͮ̀́̚͘͘͜͢͞͠͏̀͏͏҉̸̡̀A̛̰͓̬̙̮̖̫̤̙͍̤̘͚͕̱̬̱̝̗̪͖̲̅ͨͣ̀̓̎̎̿̊̑̌̓͒ͮ͜͠҉̶̛͢͏̶̴̸̨̡̀̀͘͝͞Â̱͈̬̘̥̟͕̘̘͙̺͉͍͕͇͖̄͋ͩ́ͦ̓̌̊ͦ͐̂͛̈̽́͟͝͏̶̷̸̸̵̵̨̧̢́́̀͘͘͘͟͜͟͜͡͡͝Ą̷̧̜̮̲̟̥͎͕͉̖͉͖̩͈̮̺̂͘͢͝͠͞͠͏͞Ạ̴̶̢̠͎͖̥̙͙̱̼̯̻́̐̑̽̈́͆̊̂ͫͬͤͯͨ̾̔̑̈ͩ͛ͣ̎̏̆̏ͯ̓̊͘͟͜͠͞͝͏̧̛́̕͟͜͡Ą̸̷̷̴̡̛̪͙̻͇̬̲͖̪͖̅̌̓̆͊ͨ̏̿̓͆͑̄̍ͦ̊ͮ̇͋̏͌̾̑̾̈̍ͧ͜͟͞͞͡͡͠͞ͅA̬̭͉͙͓͖͇̰͇͍̾͂̄ͯ̔̉̿ͮ̍͆ͮͨ̚A̸̵̡̢̠̞̳͓̦̹ͬ̊ͭ͆͗͂ͮ͊͘͘͡͝͠ͅ҉̵̶̵̴̡̢̧͟͜͡͠͠͝҉̸҉A̶̶̧͈̝̞̻̺̙̭ͫ̐̀͘̕͘̕͟͝҉҉͢Ạ̷̧̡̛̛̓́͟͜͠͝͝͝Ǎ̷̡̢̛͔̠̭̙̣̖͎̬͈̥́ͬ̋͂͂ͤ͋ͧ͑ͩ̂̽ͯͮ̒̅ͪ̀̊̒̎ͩͨ̈́̈͌͢͝͞͠ͅÂ̸̧̪ͮ̋͌̎̉͋ͨ͑̊̎ͩ̈́̎͒̀͜͝҉̸͜͞͡A̴̧̧̢̢̨̘̠̹̱̻̤͖̫̯̞̬͖̗̠͚̳̲͓̪̿̍ͨͦ͛̓̍͊̀͊͗́ͣ̚͡͞͏͢҉̷̸͘͏Ą̴̸̵̴̛̻͓̯̞͇̻͢͟͠͡҉̵҉̶̴̡̛̕͘͜͜͜͡͠Ą̵̹̮̭͉̦̺͔̆͟͝͡͡͞Ą̴̷̡̨̨̧̨̰͔̱̻̺͓͇̩̝̺̣͉̦̗̳͆̀ͦ̆ͧ͛ͨ͆ͯ̅ͫ̽̊̄̅̓ͬͦͣ̍ͪ̋̎̚͘͘͘͢͟͡͝͞A̢ͯ̍͑͐̎̆̅͛̅͒̉̒͋ͣͤ̅͂̆̐ͨͭͤ̐ͣ̚҉̀͏̶̷̸̸̵̨̢̧̢̡̡̛̛́͘͢͠͡͞͝͠͝A̘̱̪͎̟̯̪̔͗̄ͫ̋ͧ͌̄͊͛̈́ͫ̍͆ͬ͛ͤͧ҉̶́҉̸̴̨̢̡́́͢͟͡͝A̷̶̴̵̡̛̘̩̙̯̜̩̦̟̱̼̤͉̭̲̟̹͇̯̗̱̘̲̔ͥ̌̅̒̽́̀́͘͢͜͜͞͠͏̵̡́̀͢͞҉̨͏̧͟
A̭̦̫ͧ̎͘͜A̍ͧA̴̞͇ͫ̈́ͫͧͥ̀ͅÄ̵̼̮́ͩ̍A͖͢G̨̛͔̜̦̮̪̐̉̇̊̀̀͠G̷̟͍̳̭ͪ̈ͪͦHͬ̏̽̾͂H͚̘͍̾̒̇H̸̗̩͍̘̓̈ͦ̍͛͞!̢̈̕!̵̧̬͝!̨̨͖̦̩̱͑ ̺̰̺͛͗̈̾̃҉҉͞Ḙ͎͖͍͇̊̂̇ͥN̯̯̤̮͔̐̈́ͤ̎Ǫ̴̤̥̻̦ͦͭ͊̚͜U͎͋̑̀Gͩ̕H̛҉!̺͕̄̒̑̃̀͠҉͢͞!̢̢͉̃ͥ̀͡!̠̱̟̹͟͞͏ ͍ͣ͏Ǫ̼̫̺ͭͬ̎F̖̰̞͎̆ͣ̄̅F̛̮̳̩͉̦ͪ͘͘ ̼͉̯͊̏̊̄W̲̪͙I̴͔͈̙͓͌͒͂́͘͢͞T̞͈̪͢H̡̧̹͚̪ ̛̟͍̘̭͟A̵̡̡̯̎̋́͘L̴͎̜̀Ļ̷͉̰̠̉͗ͅ ̸̙̙̣̤̦͒̏̿̕͜Ý̙̗̰ͥ̓͜͏̡̢͢O͇͚͖̩ͪͮ͑Ȕ̟̞͈͎̰̐̽ͪ̃͜͢͝͠R̷͞͝ ̘͎̒̑͊͞H̬ͯ̒̎́҉͏̨E̴̛͈͔̠Ẻ͓̦̘E̪̹ͣ͊͊͆͆Ȃ̶̢̛͖͚̹̙̄ͣ̄̉́A̛̝̤A̸̸̝̻̥̣ͣ̽͏Ą̡̘͢D̗̙̹̟̓̄̓̕͡S̴̥̟͎!͈̭͉̥͏̶̡̕͠!̢̢̠̜̌̒̾ͣ͆̕͟!̟̰̣ͤ҉
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{NRC – Infirmary}
• Riddle woke up in the school infirmary. He sat up with a ringing noise in his head. He tries to recall the things that happened but the headache prevented him from doing so. The boy was surprised by Trey, Cater, and the rest of the troublemakers appearing by his side. They looked relieved, tears welled up in Trey's eyes and he says something...
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• ... He can't hear him... Why can't he hear him? Is it because of the ringing? What is he saying?
"...Mnh?... Trey?... Cater?..."
"Riddle! You're okay! A-are you okay? Does your head hurt?"
"Dorm Leader Rosehearts! He's awake!"
"Ssshhhh! His head might still be ringing!"
"... H-huh?"
• Trey and Cater were right up beside him immediately, checking on him. The students behind them couldn't believe it but they were relieved to see him awake.
"Siren! Yuu's magic did quite a number on you, dorm leader... Maybe you should rest more-- Woah!"
"H-Hey, Riddle! Don't sit up yet, you just woke up. There, there, relax."
"Are you in any pain right now? You look a little pale..."
"I... I... Can't... You..."
• They're mouths were moving but no sounds came out no matter how hard Riddle strained his ears.
"What is it? Can you speak louder? What's wrong?"
"Trey.. I can't hear you."
"W-what?"
"I-i can't hear what you're saying, Trey. I can't hear all of you! I c-can't- I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING!"
"Dorm Leader, calm down! Take deep breaths."
"It's alright, just look at us. Everything will be fine."
"He can't hear us?"
"His condition is worse than I thought. Did his Overblot perhaps took his ability to hear?"
"Everyone, please get out of the infirmary. He needs space."
• The students of Heartslabyul left the room but Ace, Deuce, Grim and you stayed behind. Riddle's hands cupped his tear stained face as his sobbing intensifies.
"We're so sorry, Riddle... Don't worry, the Infirmary Ghosts can help you. We'll be right here every second."
"Yeah, you'll get your hearing back in no time!"
"... I'm... sorry... I'm sorry..."
"E-eh?"
"I'm so sorry... *sob*.... *sob*... I've been so horrible to all of you.... *sob*...."
"Woah. Dorm Leader Riddle Rosehearts crying? Oh. My. Sevens."
"Cater."
"Sorry, Trey, it's just... I never see him cry his eyes out like this."
"... *sob*.... It's all my fault... it's my own fault...! ... *sob*... You were right... *sob*...!"
• Ace stepped closer to Riddle. The crying boy saw him and cried even harder.
"T-Trappola... I'm sorry... I did want that Mont Blanc tart! I really did... *sob*... I felt bad for tossing it away... But I had to follow the rules... *sob*... I'm so sorry...!"
• Riddle let out all of the pain, all of the guilt, all of the regret he bottled up throughout his life. Ace decided to forgive him for admitting his defeat but left his reasons of doing so for another day once Riddle is healed.
• Moments later, the Infirmary Ghosts appeared and checked on Riddle's vitals. Riddle finally stopped his crying, he still hopes to reconcile with Ace. He knows that his wrongdoings will not be forgiven... He does not deserve to be called a dorm leader if all he ever do is hurt his own dormmates.
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"He's healthy now and the blot is all gone. There's nothing clogging his ear canals, no bleeding. In fact, his ears look fine."
"We don't know why he lost his hearing. Maybe it's because of a concussion?"
"The students did give him a beating but that's unlikely."
• A few hours passed by. The Ghosts became puzzled and made Riddle recite the 810 rules to check for brain damage, using a notebook and pen to communicate. Riddle perfectly recalled all of the rules. The Ghosts then asked Riddle to recall his dormmates' and classmates' names as well as their appearances. Riddle remembered all of them correctly. This made the Ghosts even more puzzled.
"Looks like Yuu's magic worked too well on him."
"This was caused by magic? If so by whom?"
"Siren! Yuu's Unique Magic."
"My Henchman's Unique Magic makes them scream very loud. They can hypnotize people with it and make them go crazy."
"Really? That's some frightening magic you got there, kid..."
"Suppose that they've used it to make him deaf?"
"To cover us when we subdued him. Riddle looked like he was in great pain the whole time."
"Ah, I see."
"Well, every mage's magic gotta have some kind of loophole or weakness around it, right?"
• The Ghosts turned to ask you if there's a cure, to which you nodded yes. You took a scalpel and pierced it across your palm. Everyone was taken aback when droplets of your blood dripped on the floor but you ignored them and grabbed a teacup by Riddle's bedside. Your blood soon filled half of the cup and you gave it to Riddle.
• Riddle looked at you with shocked eyes and rejected the gesture. You insisted to lift the cup to the boy's mouth.
"W-w-what? What are you...?"
"I think Henchman wants Riddle to drink it."
"Huh?!
"What?!"
"B-but that's...!"
"I dunno! It's what my Henchman is doin'!"
"What the hell?! Don't you think it's... I don't know... Weird and gross?!"
"Hmm... If it's the only way then we don't see why not."
• The Ghosts wrote on the notebook, instructing Riddle to drink the blood. Riddle, who literally saw you cut your own skin, closed his eyes and hesitantly gulped it all down. Coughing as the metallic taste of the red liquid lingered on his tongue.
• You bandaged your bleeding palm and left the room with a theatrical bow. This moment became a core memory of the group's earliest impression of you.
"Fnyagh... I think they're tired from all that screaming. I'm gonna go rest with them. A fight like that surely made me sleepy. Hey, Henchman! Wait for the Great Grim!"
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• One day later, Riddle finally got back his hearing and the headache he had disappeared. He recovered with no complications. His dormmates' planned to throw an Unbirthday Party for him in his recovery. However, Riddle's guilt has not left his mind.
"Ace Trappola."
"Uh, yes?"
"I... heavily apologize for how I treated you... how I treated all of you with strict cruelty. I see now that not all can follow the rules like how I was raised to... And that I shouldn't enforce such rules and give harsh punishments because of one's trivial or small mistakes... From now on, I'll take time to reflect on my actions and the effects it has on others... From this day forward, I, Riddle Rosehearts, hereby back down as dorm leader of Heartslabyul--"
"Sorry, dorm leader but you can't."
"P-pardon?"
"The title of dorm leader sounds nice but I don't want the strings attached to it. No one can handle the responsibility like you can, no one puts more effort into the duty of the title like you do, no one is more suitable for a dorm leader like you are. Besides, I didn't ask you to a Mage's Duel to take your position. I want you to see how much of a heartless snob you were. You were at fault for mistreating your dormmates. Trey and Cater are also at fault for letting you mistreat them for a long time. That just isn't right."
"I'm sorry too for turning a blind eye all this time as vice dorm leader. I was too cowardly to face him."
"Me too. I should've looked out for you guys as your senior. Some friends we are, huh?..."
"But that's alright. I'm sure your dormmates can forgive you guys and give you a second chance."
"Y-You really think so?... Will they forgive me? After all I've done?"
"Of course, we forgive you, Riddle. As your friends, we're here to help you whenever you need."
"Yups! Totally vote for a second chance! Just don't overdo it next time and have some more mercy, dorm leader!"
"On behalf of the Heartslabyul dorm, we still want you as our dorm leader!"
"I... I-I'm...thank you, everyone... thank you all so mu--"
"BUT I STILL HAVEN'T FORGIVEN YOU!"
"E-eh?!"
"Ace!"
"NO, DON'T "ACE!" ME! AFTER ALL THE EFFORT WE PUT INTO THAT PERFECTLY GOOD MONT BLANC TART AND TOSSING IT OUT. IT'S NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN JUST CRY AND GET AWAY WITH IT!"
"What the hell's wrong with you!?"
"The poor guy's sorry isn't he?"
"Y-yes, I do feel terribly sorry for wasting the tart."
"WELL, IF YOU ARE SORRY AND YOU DO WANT TO EARN MY FORGIVENESS, AS A PUNISHMENT FROM ME, IT'S YOUR TURN TO MAKE THE TART!"
"Ace, stop talking!"
"No, he's right. I accept the punishment. I will make the tart."
"WITHOUT TREY'S HELP!"
"W-what?!"
"But Ace...! Isn't that a little...?"
"OH? IS IT TOO HARD FOR OUR DORM LEADER?"
"N-no! I can handle this. I'll do it by myself!"
"GOOD! NOW GET TO BAKING WHILE WE FIX UP THE PARTY!"
.
.
.
{Heartslabyul – Unbirthday Party}
• The rose bushes that were destroyed by blot were restored their original clean state. The branches that scattered the area were removed and more grass was planted to layer the bald ground. The light of the sun bounced off the shiny surface of the teapot and silver tableware. The ripped and tarnished table sheets were replaced by new white ones.
• Riddle seemed to have a hard time adjusting with his newfound leniency but he doesn't act like he has a stick up his behind anymore and is now more calm.
"Alright, let's see... The table sheets are white, tableware is at place, acceptable weather, it's nobody's birthday today... Is the mouse asleep inside the teapot? Actually, nevermind. It does not matter anymore."
"Hey there, Riddle. You don't have to be too lenient now. Take it easy."
"I second that, we wouldn't be able to recognize you without your habits of being prim and proper."
"Forgive me, it's just... I've never done this before... breaking a ru-- well... excluding ones for this occasion."
"Don't you worry your head about that, dorm leader! You'll get used to it. It's not so bad."
.
.
• As the three chatted, Ace approached them smugly, however, the sweat evident on his forehead from the work of cleaning up the dorm lessened the effectiveness of his smugness.
"So, you have the tart ready, dorm leader?"
"Ah yes, I have it prepared. And I wasn't assisted by Trey and followed the instructions for making it exactly the way down to every detail."
"What flavor is it?"
"Cherry."
"Did you remember to put enough chestnuts? Like, a ton of them?"
"Yes, I did. Just because I want to correct my faults does not mean you have the right to boss me around. I'm still your dorm leader."
"We'll see about that. Now you know what it's like to be in our place."
"Dorm Leader, Ace!"
"Spade. Are the flamingoes and hedgehogs ready?"
"Yes! I've also invited Grim and Siren! Yuu like you requested."
"That's good, thank you."
• Speaking of which, Riddle felt absolutely guilty about the insults he hurled at you during the previous Unbirthday Party. You looked uneasy when he aggressively pointed out your appearance. He guessed that he deserved to get screamed at by you. It's a better punishment than his mother's verbal abuse.
"Heya! We're here! Where's the food?"
"Sigh, Grim..."
"What? I'm hungry! Let's get this party started! Hey, Henchman, wanna dance later after eating?"
"☺️!"
• You nodded with a smile, it faltered when you faced Riddle. You simply stared at him like you're expecting him to do something. Luckily, the short boy find this awkward encounter as a good moment to apologize to you. He tells you to come with him to the Rose Maze.
.
.
{Heartslabyul – Rose Maze}
"Hello again...Siren! Yuu, was it?.... I want to speak with you for a moment... In private."
• Riddle sends the eavesdropping three a stern look, putting emphasis on the word private, and they read it as a signal to shoo, but they didn't. Instead, Ace, Deuce, and Grim proceeded to watch in silence at a corner, peeking at a nervous Riddle struggling to form words while under your laser-focused gaze.
"........"
"I-it's not about rule violation. It is just for a dorm leader to invite guests to get acquainted with them... Yes, it's to establish a... Well..."
".....😶?"
• Your gaze softened and your head tilted to the side, like you're both questioning and urging him to state his reasons more clearly. Riddle decided to not speak like a dorm leader but as a person who's grateful for your efforts.
"Oh, forget it. Siren! Yuu... I cannot apologize for the insults I've thrown at you... how I called you a magicless human who lacks discipline and manners... and I cannot thank you enough for saving me even after all that... But..."
"........."
"I do feel sorry, I do... I feel so ashamed of myself... Please give me a chance. A chance to give a new impression. A chance to make things right... This Unbirthday Party is now a welcoming gift and an offering of gratitude for saving me. Please, accept this apology."
"......."
"... And... I'm sorry about the Mont Blanc tart... I won't waste food for a trivial rule like that ever again."
• Your smile returned to your face and you bowed. The eavesdroppers took that as a positive sign to wait at the table for you.
"... 🙂‍↕️."
"Y-You... you forgive me?... Thank you... Thank you so much... You've no idea how relieved I am! I admit, I was worried there for a minute. Thank you."
• Riddle almost teared up from relief and joy but he wiped his eyes. This is a good sign after all, no need for more crying. He'll make the others worry.
"I, Dorm Leader of Hearstla- no... I, Riddle Rosehearts, am humbly grateful for your forgiveness. Now, shall we go back?"
.
.
• You and Riddle walked out of the Rose Maze, awaited by a hungry Grim and an impatient Ace.
"You done chatting with him?"
"☺️!"
"C'mon, c'mon! Don't just stand there. Sit here! I heard from Ace that Riddle made a Mont Blanc tart for us! I wanna taste it!"
"Grim, calm down. Your drool is soaking the table sheet!"
• In the end, the tart made by Riddle tasted terrible but you guys got a good laugh at it. Music filled the party and you danced with your new friends.
.
.
• Like I said, Riddle has a somewhat complicated friendship with you. You liked to feel free from restraint or control so you could freely express yourself however you want. Riddle is one of the others that keeps you at bay or from doing anything stupid.
• Riddle even made the effort to learn and decipher your movements. And in turn, you took time to learn some of the Queen of Hearts' rules.
• There are times where he hides behind you to scare away Floyd. There are times he lets you roam around Heartslabyul and dance within the Rose Maze (not without a warning to not break a rule). You cause less trouble now, however, he can't say the same for your idiots.
• He's also one of the individuals who protects your gold scales from watching eyes (read: Azul, Ruggie) and to provide the headmaster a list of reasons on why he can't just take it whenever Crowley asks. He warns you to stay away from others who want to monopolize you. He tries his best to threaten Azul to never strike a deal with you.
• He's seen you cure Overblot victims with your blood, amazed by its effectiveness to heal injuries and even some disabilities. For example, a student from Heartslabyul that were injured by the blot claimed that their blindness was gone. Another one from a different dorm used to have a paralyzed nerve in his leg, but now he can run with no difficulties thanks to your blood.
• He worries for your safety and well-being at this point. He knows that he cannot restrict you from every choice you make, whether selfless or foolish. Besides, you told him not to grow gray hairs for you as he has a lot on his plate as a dorm leader. You learned cautiousness from experience that there are individuals who revel in the despair of others.
• You know pain physically and emotionally all too well. It was under the guise of a person you thought who loved you. Only to stab you in the end and take everything you have dear away from you. Leaving you alone to lament in your miserable state.
• Riddle felt that pain too. It disguised itself not only as a loving figure, but as his own mother. A mother who inflicted strictness upon him like no other, caused him to Overblot and on the verge of dying. But he was saved by his friends who cared for him.
• But who saved you from your pain? It was just you. All the horrific things they did to you, yet... you let it all go, you learned to accept it and moved on your own. Riddle was astonished by your strength to let the painful past go. It gave him a deep thought that if you can do it, maybe he can too. You bared your scars to him and he bared his to you.
• Your carefree and cautious demeanor contrasts Riddle's strict and wrathful one. But overall, he thinks that you are a great and loyal friend. A friend that he didn't think he deserved, but one who needed to show him how to let hurtful things go. How to accept your mistakes and imperfections as a part of your journey.
• To dance with no fear on the stage full of pain and sorrow called life.
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wn11ow · 3 days ago
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Unstable UNI lore rant/spoilers HII!!! lets do a mini rant that willl probably be 90% wrong but whatevs!!! Remember how I said in my last rant that wemmbu has completely ad utterly caved in on himself as a defense mechanism to further lower the chances of him being betrayed or abandoned???? how I said he leaves places in fear of that?
I would like to reiterate after a certain epiphany just about a day or two ago that Wemmbu only leaves when Eggchan is not with him. A certain 'hero dependent on sidekick' trope taken a serious turn. He leave skyciv because he was searching for egg and could not settle until he had found him, he left because egg(infamously his moral compass) was not there.
As much as i depict him as a person with commitment and abandonment issues, he seems to completely flip the switch when it comes to egg.
He could have fought for skyciv. He did not. Why? Egg wasn't there. For all that's worth it, the only wars he has fought are the ones where egg was right there beside him.
Again, I mean *to* egg. Not to others, he doesnt flip the switch to others just because egg is around. Nope, only to egg. I'd like to think the two places he CONSIDERED staying were Manepear and Zam because Egg was there. Those places were almost home not because there was a sense of safety there(he has, always thrived in chaos) but because could thrive in safety with egg.
And it's not onesided, Egg clearly thinks of Wemmbu as his 'day one' and is definitely attached to wemmbu as much as wemmbu is with him(maybe not as co-dependent, but still there in the attached spectrum)
Put that to the side. We know that Wemmbu thrives in chaos, he does! it's vehemently proven how he always picks fights, videos mostly pvp-centered. He loses himself in bloodlust, and thats not something he's ashamed of.
Shame only arrives in the picture, suitcase in hand, when someone dear to him is threatened(or useful.)
Specifically.... DingDingDing!!! You guessed it, Egg!
He started thinking with his head and not his inner desires when egg is IN the picture AND threatened. Referring to my previous words, he only seems to consider settling in peace and safety with Egg right beside him. Im referencing the ferre scene, when Zam held Egg captive, When Egg was coerced into joining the mafia and wemmbu was left all, all alone.
Not Wemmbu and Eggchan.
Wemmbu, Eggchan.
I say this SPECIFICALLY after the newest video uploaded. You SEE wemmbu wanting to settle, have a nice quiet life with Eggchan because He's FINALLY gotten it in that THICK NUMBSKULL of his that If he's in danger, so is Egg. So he decides that if he needs to diminish his need for chaos for egg to be safe, he will.
I do also think that fight with ClownPierce in the S1 finale was him laying down his sword and giving that voice in the back of his head chanting, 'chaos, blood, danger.' it's final win.
does NOT work out for him, as a sword is thrusted into his hand yet again and instead of adrenaline. He feels... annoyance.
Why can't he go out on his own terms? Why can't he finally put the sword down? Why can't he control his own life?
Why do the things and people he care about get put on the line because of HIS actions?
One hand of his holds a sword, the other holds a suitcase(ready to leave at anytime.)---Why can't one of his hands be free?
Oh wow. That took a fanfiction-y aspect, huh? I think I'm done. I'll probably rant more and contradict myself further the following days but this is it for now !!!!
And again, remember... 'I never actually expected you to finish anything. You were always leaving. I always pictured you with a suitcase in one hand.' Is UU!Wemmbu...(i mean i think so it rings pretty true with his character i mean not his pov but with how others view him not the meathead others i mean wato, probably after skyciv)
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nightingale-prompts · 1 day ago
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"T̴̢̢̧̧̧̡̧̛̛̪̱̯̘̥̩̗͚̝̙̹̭̖͓͔͕̮̜̭͔̰̭̼͈̥͇̘̼͇͎̤̗͕̮̙̩͚̜͎̳̩̥̟̼̘͖̭̯̖͚͓̳̰̳̣̤̦̲̭̭͑͆̓͆́̿̂͋̽́̿̊̐̈́́̋̐͆̔̂̽̓̉͌̓̈͛̅̾̄̅͊͊̚͘͜͠͠į̴̢̨̢̛̛̛̗̺͔̺̣̬͎̪̺̹͉̫̜̩̳͈̩̩̪̰̫͔͔̹̘͇̮̮̦̜͖̲̝̠̘̙͈͖̺̟̥̣̭̞̗̻̞̝̦̦͎̘͙̣͚͚̗͔͉̗̱̱̯͕͇̦̦̯͈̪̝͎̻̗̗͎̳̺͗̾͆̊͗̃̌͊̌͌̅̄̑̆̈́͐̑̔̾͌̓̑̎̏̈́̋̋̊͛͂̒͊͗̃͌̀͐͐͐̀͐̃̂̈́̌̽͒̇̄̈́̇̓̈́͑̇̐͂̉͗͑̔̈̂̀̇̊̈́̎͆͊͒̈́̈́͐̈́̂̇̈̏́̈́͘̚̕̕͘͜͜͝͝͝͝ͅͅṃ̵̨̧̢̨̢̡̛̛̛̛͖̰̦͕͙̮͕͖̼̹͚̻̩͙͍͚̠̻̦̤̖̙̪̱͖̰̮̘͉̜̱̺̺͈̮̤̯͚̰̯͇̪̍̀̈́͑̔̉͒́͌͆͛̋̆̓́̓̿̉̍͑̿̆͗͋̑̎̔̅̌̐̆̊̓̿̾̆́̉̌̀͊̏͂̄̄̆̈́͒̏̅̂̂̀̄̒̌̄̓̒͗͌̿̆̈̏̀̀̈́͑͗̓̾̆͊̽̈́͐̏̋̽͗̃͒̍̚͘̕̚̚̚͘̚̕̚͜͠͠͠͠͝͝͠͝ͅͅͅ"
Tim felt a chill rake down his back like a set of claws tearing at him.
"D-danny?" Tim was slightly relieved that he didn't just kill his boyfriend but he was still next to a headless corpse and the head was talking.
"Ẅ̶̦̟́h̴͓̱̐̓ỷ̴̲̩̄ ̷̯̰̇̉ằ̵͚̳m̴̻̉ͅ ̸̥́͝I̷̹̽ ̵̙̖̚o̸͖̐͑n̴̙͈͗ ̴̜̥̑̐ṫ̸̩̚h̶̗͆ę̷͗̆ ̶̯̉͠f̷̗̾ḷ̷͍͆̈o̶̘͉͝o̵͕̊r̶̮̰̀̚?"
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Tim already knew he was going to plead for not just his relationship but his life.
The body sat up on the bed leaned over the side of the bed and picked up the head. Instead of putting it back on his neck, he placed his head on his lap facing Tim.
There was a long silence. Danny's expression was unreadable.
"You...are a..."
"I'm a dullahan."
A dullahan...Danny is a dullahan. A headless symbol of death. The only story Tim remembered of such a being was Sleepy Hollow. The headless horseman.
Danny let out a sigh filled with exhaustion.
"I should have known. You were always obsessed with the ribbon. You didn't actually-"
"Don't think for a second that I don't care about you. I won't lie, I was obsessed but I was obsessed with you. Because that ribbon was attached to you not the other way around. I thought if I unraveled the mystery I would know you so much more." If Danny still had a head in his shoulders he'd be touching his soft but slightly chilled cheek like he always did to comfort him.
"I guess you were right."
***
So...dating a dullahan. That was a new one. And Danny forgave him. After a few weeks of groveling and begging. Tim was willing to bet Danny had forgiven him a while ago but wanted to make him suffer for as long as possible. Which was fair.
Dullahans have to hide the seem in their neck with high collars and chokers most if the time. Danny chose the ribbon because it was Elle's favorite. Elle did really like her bows.
It turns out Danny didn't drink in public because his neck starts to leak which gets messy. He does drink by taking off his head and pouring it down his neck stump. Horrifying.
Needless to say a tea party with little Elle was interesting.
Danny's body and head also worked independently doing separate tasks. So he can clean and watch TV at the same time. But he can't change the channel.
Danny also didn't sleep with his head on usually. Dullahans have a special set of pillows for their heads whenever they take them off. It's off-putting to just have a head on a pillow placed on the nightstand. But you get used to it.
There was also the soul reaping. Dullahans were just one of the many supernaturals in Gotham. Since the city reeks of death there are souls that have a habit of staying when they shouldn't. Danny was naturally attracted to this place with his family. His older sister and brother were similar. Tim hadn't met them yet. But apparently his sister wasn't a dullahan but a banshee.
Tim certainly had a new world to explore but he wasn't going to get away with boundary-breaking again. He might end up losing his soul next time and be single.
Sure he has the deal with Elle thowing a basin of blood on him every once in a while.
"She's just playing. She's still learning how reaping works." Danny said helping Tim clean up.
Tim learned that Dullahans were unseelie fey on top of everything else. He already had a feeling knowing that Danny had a mischievous streak since the beginning.
Tim might as well be Danny's human pet the way he has him whipped. Very more he tied Danny's head on the way he liked. Let Danny have his way everytime. And let Danny use his lap as his head pillow.
It not like it's not a fair deal. Tim is very satisfied in this relationship.
The Green Ribbon-DCxDP Prompt
(Yes this is based on the story of the same name)
Tim can't handle not knowing. It was his fatal flaw. Like Odysseus and his hubris or Heracles and his wrath. Tim's curiosity would be his downfall.
So when he met a boy in class who had a striking green ribbon that wrapped around and around his neck, he wanted to know why. It wasn't not simple accessory as the only thing that changed was how it was tied in its bow.
And he never took it off.
When Danny arrived at the school it was a transfer mid-school year and everyone was drawn to the ribbon on his neck. Then it was forgotten because this is Gotham, it was best not to question.
Though others thought it was a fashion statement that caught on.
Still Tim began getting closer to him to ask why. He never got an answer but a shrug and said it's not important. Over and over Tim tried to find an answer but his investigation found nothing.
"If it's a scar, it's fine. I won't judge." Tim said comfortingly.
"It's nothing you need to worry about," Danny said not confirming or denying it.
"I got you a ribbon. Do you want to try it on?" Tim said holding up a red ribbon he had picked out just for Danny.
"I like the one I have. But I'll gladly take it." Danny said.
The next day Danny began wearing a braided red, black, and green ribbon on his arms. Those also became a trend.
"I'm going swimming with my brothers this weekend. Do you wanna join." Tim asked believing Danny would have to take off the ribbon.
Danny agreed but he spent the day in the shade with his baby sister who romped about in the sand. Around her neck was another green ribbon tied in a pretty bow on the back of her neck like a kitten given as a Christmas gift.
"Sorry Tim, I don't do well in the sun. I burn easily. Elle doesn't like being submerged in water so I have to keep her company." Sanny said as his sister flopped on his lap while he scrolled on his phone.
Dick didn't ask questions as he wished Tim luck with his new but strange boyfriend.
"He's kind of cute. And he's caring at least." Dick said.
Tim didn't listen because Dick had a taste for those who weren't totally normal.
Damian didn't care because as mysterious as it was he was more interested in snorkeling. Also, Elle asked him for some discarded seashells and that was his current mission on getting for her. They were going to build the most impressive sandcastle with them later.
Jason didn't say much since he was riding a jetski in the distance.
Later, at the end of the day Danny tired to clean the sand off his sister as she refused to get wet. Elle hated the friction on her skin and wouldn't let him get the sticky sand off.
Tim took this as a sign. They avoided water like the plague. In fact Danny never drank anything.
Jason eventually picked up Elle under her arms and carried her to the water and dunked her in the water for a second as she avoided the water like a cat. Then it was over and she was fine as Jason put her down. She stuck her tongue out and sprinted back to Danny who toweled her off.
Then the day ended and Tim was no closer to the answer.
Eventually they started dating and Tim hoped he'd be closer to knowing.
Then one evening while Danny was sleeping next to him Tim's curiosity consumed him. Tim pulled on that damned green ribbon until it came loose. It wasn't the right thing and he planned to apologize over and over to Danny.
Tim's face turned white when a thud echoed in the bedroom as Danny's head rolled off the bed and hit the ground.
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vodika-vibes · 18 hours ago
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wolffe and a medic reader sneaking around and get caught👀👀👀i beg
Red Handed
Summary: You love Wolffe, you really do. But he’s going to get you both in trouble. Again.
Pairing: Commander Wolffe x F!Reader
Word Count: 720
Warnings: Uh, heavy making out. wolffe can't keep his hands to himself.
A/N: I'm not sure I like this, but I hope you do!
Click HERE to be added to my taglist
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“Wolffe,” His name falls from your lips in a breathy whisper that has his groaning and pressing harder against you.
“Say it again,” He murmurs against your throat, his teeth scraping down your throat with just enough pressure that you, helplessly, cling to his armor.
A breathless laugh falls from you, even as you tilt your head back, allowing him better access to your throat, “We’re gonna get caught.”
“Not if you’re quiet,” He peppers hot kisses up your throat and to your jaw, before he catches your lips with his, “No one will come looking for us, cyar’ika.”
“They always do.” You remind him, before you bite your lip to muffle a whimper.
“Don’t you want to spend time with me, Princess?” Wolffe coos against your ear, “It’s been so long since I’ve had you to myself—”
“That’s because we’re deployed,” Almost without your permission, your fingers move to the seals of his armor, and you deftly start to pop them, loosening his armor enough that he can tug it off.
“And?”
“And you’re the—oh my god—” A sudden bite on your collar steals your whole train of thought. You didn’t even notice him loosening your scrub top so he could reach your collar.
You hear Wolffe chuckle against you, “You gonna pray to me, sweetheart?” He asks, as he looks up at you from where he’s lazily kissing down your chest, his lips lingering in the valley between your breasts.
You definitely should have known better than to wear the tie on scrubs.
“Absolutely not,” Your voice is breathy. Too breathy.
“I’d believe you if you didn’t sound like that.” He lazily nips at the soft skin not covered by your bra, “But, I’m an amazing partner, so please. Continue what you were saying, angel.”
“You’re a dick.”
“Yes, yes. And yet you love me anyway.” He grins against your skin again, “Go on, angel. What were you saying?”
“I was saying,” You struggle to regain your train of thought, “I’m a medic and I’m busy. And you’re the commander—”
“Uh-huh,” He sucks another mark just over your bra. Frankly, your surprised he hasn’t removed it yet. “And?”
“And people are going to be looking for you, Commander.”
His mismatched eyes flare with a familiar emotion, and you mentally curse yourself for calling him by his rank. After all, you know exactly what that does to him.
“Wait, Wolffe—”
“Oh no,” He kisses back up your chest so he’s able to catch your lips in a deep kiss, “I’m Commander now, remember?”
“It slipped,” You say against his lips.
“I love it when you slip.”
“That’s because you’re a pervert.”
“Not a pervert, just a healthy man with a gorgeous girlfriend, who deserves my undivided attention.”
Your fingers curl into the material of his blacks, and you press closer to him, “Undivided, huh?”
“Yeah,” Wolffe murmurs, “Undivided—”
Vaguely, you’re aware of the sound of a door opening behind Wolffe, but you pay it no mind...until you hear a strangled yelp. “Really, Commander?” Comet asks, his voice strangled, “Again?”
You peek around Wolffe’s shoulder, and muffle a giggle. Comet’s gaze is locked on the ceiling, and there’s color rising on his face.
Wolffe sighs, “I’m beginning to think you’re doing this on purpose, Comet.”
“No way! I have better things to do than watch you get freaky with the Doc!” Comet counters, his gaze falling from the ceiling, and then snapping back up when he sees you, “Doc, please put your shirt back on.”
“Oh,” Your face burns as you hurriedly tie your shirt back on, “Sorry, Comet.”
You glance up at Wolffe, who is glaring at his brother, and you roll your eyes and elbow him, pulling a grunt from him. Wolffe glances at you, and then grits his teeth, “It’s...fine. No harm done.”
“Yeah, I’d believe that if you didn’t sound like you’re about to kill me,” Comet drops his gaze again, his gaze firmly staying off of you, “Anyway, the General is looking for you.”
At that, Wolffe sighs and slumps slightly, “Duty calls, I suppose.” He turns and drops a kiss to your forehead, “We’ll continue this later.”
“It’s a date.”
Wolffe drops one more kiss to your forehead, then he pulls his armor back on, and he’s gone.
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Note
Hello! :D I'd absolutely adore hearing your thoughts on Paranoid, in the Nightmare too, but more specifically In The Cage and The Apotheosis, and also his dynamic with Broken in The Apotheosis!
I feel like I'm missing something about him, something obvious, that I'm mischaractising him in my head and fic, but I can't put my finger on it!! (Also if you've already talked about him somewhere im so sorry I've searched for it but didn't find anything about him specifically!)
Like, he's called The voice of the Paranoid but he's right!! Like?? He always catches on how their world works way quicker than the others!! Like in the Cage when he figures that if they believe that the chains are rusty, then they can cut through them! Or in The Apotheosis, he convinces Broken to fight back!! (if i remember well!)
I adore your explanations/thoughts about the game and the characters, they really help put into words what I observe but cannot really verbalise myself! :)
-FlowersandMiel
Hello!!!
First of all, thank you for enjoying my rambles!!! And speaking of him, I’m actually currently writing a response on another ask about him, but it’s not quite done yet. I still needed to check a few things for him before I decide it’s good enough to be sent!
And now, for the analysis… (sorry if it’s a bit messy)
First, before we start analysing we need to remember how we get him in chapter 2. (Long ramble below!!!!)
There are a lot of ways we can get him in chapter 2. Either you go down there with the blade and then deciding you can’t trust her, then locking her in the basement, or you go down there without the blade and the locking her in the basement. Or you can flee from her while you’re fighting you with the blade and then lock her down the basement. Paranoid is generally defined by his indecisiveness, his distrust towards the Princess (and the Narrator), and self-preservation. These traits of him are important to remember. The blade to him represents the control he has in a world where nothing feels real. Despite how he sees the world as unstable and untrustworthy, the one thing he desires most is to have something solid to believe in. A solid reality to ground himself in.
To get him in chapter two, you’d have to decide that you can’t trust the narrator, but you also can’t trust the Princess as well, making Nightmare be the only chapter 2 Princess that you can get through both soft and sharp Princess. (Technically Stranger counts as well but the difference being that you didn’t actually meet her here in chapter 1 (speaking of there’s a neat little parallel between Paranoid and Contrarian. I’ll get to that later)).
Nightmare is a big example on his worldview of the construct.
Imagine with me. You are Paranoid. After listening to what the Princess has to say, you still couldn’t decide if you want to trust her or not. So you chose the safe option where you lock the Princess within the basement and watch over her, just in case she is actually dangerous. Or, you got yourself in a fight with the Princess, and found out that you are unprepared for this. You don’t want to feel pain and be hurt. And so you rush out and lock her in, hoping that maybe she will bleed out to death.
But then she started ramming the door. It further confirms your fears. But it’s fine right? She’s locked down there, she can’t actually get out of the place, so you decide to sleep for a little bit while she’s at it. And then after who knows how long, you have awaken, and seeing that the door is wiiiiiide open. But hold on, you literally locked her in the basement and yet she still finds a way to get out of the place??? This shouldn’t be possible, and yet here we are, with her slowly stepping towards us. Wait, but we did think about the possibility of her being able to get out despite locking her in there, does that mean that’s the reason she’s able to get out??? Oh my god this world makes absolutely no sense at all!!! Doors and the lock doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to, the Narrator can’t be trusted, the Princess can’t be trusted, and oh my god she is stepping towards me and my heart starts racing and and and-
Boom, Nightmare.
In Apotheosis, he and Broken share a lot of similarities with one another regarding their desire to find something stable to confide in. Broken, where he had found a sense of control and safety in Apotheosis/Tower in a world where he had been broken down, Paranoid in turn finds control in his thoughts and the blade. Of course, him having a breakdown in Apotheosis and realising that the world is not real and solid at all is gonna break him, cause having his thoughts and worst fears about the world be confirmed just means that nothing really matters at all. But Paranoid being That Guy, use those fears and this new revelation of the world to his own advantage, and thus creating a new sense of control over what he used to believe an uncontrollable world. And with that he encourages Broken to believe in themself and regain that sense of control, to the point where they’re able to fight against the goddess herself on equal footing. Apotheosis herself actually comments on it herself, questioning whether he is fighting back because of his courage, or is it madness that drives him.
Speaking of Apotheosis, both Paranoid and Contrarian find their place in this route. Paranoid and Contrarian parallel each other in a way where they would both choose a third option instead of what they were presented with. Paranoid, with him choosing to keep the Princess in the basement instead of choosing to fully committing to freeing or slaying her. Contrarian, on the other hand, just didn’t want to do what he is told by an authority figure. The difference in getting them is in whether you tell her that she’s destined to end the world or not, and whether you bring the blade down with you(I have yet to understand the significance in not bringing the blade down with you to get Paranoid here, so forgive me if it seems a bit incomplete). In a way, their Princesses became mini-versions of the Shifting Mound because of this. Nightmare and her embodying the fear and terror of change, and Stranger with her many perspectives and all of the possibilities that comes with change.
Cage is basically Paranoid falling into despair instead of him have a self-actualisation in Apotheosis. The blade, something Paranoid saw as a symbol of control, is the thing that is keeping the both of them trapped. If you make the choice of not doing anything while Cage is walking towards you, Cage stating that everything they do is just the same shade of the same cycle would lead to Paranoid to have the perspective that nothing they ever do mattered in the first place. That they had absolutely no control in the situation, and their choices don’t matter. This is. Probably a horrible spot for Paranoid to be in.
Paranoid is overall a really intelligent character. But unlike Skeptic, whose logic runs on very grounded and unchanging reality, his runs on anxiety. Both Paranoid and Skeptic would notice little details and would attempt to piece the pieces together in a way that is coherent. Both wants to have a truth to ground themselves in.
As for the reason why he’s the first one who gets a grip on how the construct works is because… he’s paranoid. Hear me out.
The construct doesn’t work with a concrete standard logic. But instead it runs on your perception of the world, which by itself is very flimsy. The conclusion of “the world shifts by our beliefs” type of logic can only be thought by someone who literally doesn’t trust anything around them. Which is someone Paranoid is. That’s the reason why Skeptic wasn’t able to figure out how the construct works but Paranoid could. They’re like, two different flavours of logic. Skeptic’s more of a detective, while Paranoid is more of a conspiracy theorist (kinda? I dunno what other words I should use to describe him). So if you put Skeptic and Paranoid in the “real world”, Skeptic would thrive while Paranoid is just gonna flop real bad. In the construct however it’s the opposite.
The detachment to something grounded is something Cold and Paranoid share. Cold with his emotional detachment and Paranoid whose thoughts runs 5000 miles per minute makes him really detached from a grounded reality. Because of this, these two are the two voices that figured things out before any other voice did. Cold regarding Quiet’s nature(or “The Self”), and Paranoid the world around them. And ironically these two would absolutely fumble if they were placed in somewhere much more stable.
Annnnnd that’s it! These are my current thoughts of Paranoid as a character! Hopefully it’s helpful for your writing ^^
Good luck on your fic btw!
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nigtmarcz · 2 days ago
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⎯⎯ Unspoken Tension
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hamzah x reader
summary: hamzah and y/n can't stand each other and the tension between them grows. leaving hamzah questioning if there's more beneath their rivalry.
wc: 1.2k
a/n: i'm on my writing grind!! hope u like it >.<
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There’s something about her that gets under my skin.
It’s not just that she has this effortlessly perfect, almost ethereal beauty. Petite, with hair that shines like silk and lips so full they seem almost too perfect to be real. It’s the way she doesn’t try to stand out, yet still manages to do so without lifting a finger. There’s a quiet confidence in the way she moves, calm and collected, as if she’s always in control of everything around her—except when it comes to me.
I can’t stand it.
y/n’s been friends with Mandy and Martin for as long as I can remember, which means I’ve had plenty of chances to get to know her and, unfortunately, she’s the only one who can’t stand me. It doesn’t matter what I do—smile at her, compliment her, even just say something simple. She rolls her eyes, huffs, or worst of all, ignores me completely.
I’ve made it my mission to make her notice me.
Tonight, we’re at mandy and martin’s place. My eyes drawn to her as she talks to them. Her laugh rings through the room, light and effortless, like the sweetest melody. She looks as stunning as ever—her hair cascading down her back, her lips curling into that perfect, radiant smile that seems to light up the entire room.
And yet, she’s completely oblivious to me.
The thought makes me growl under my breath.
I know she’s not exactly the most friendly when it comes to me. In fact, I can tell she actively avoids me. But tonight? I’m not letting that slide.
I walk over to where she’s standing, her back to me as she grabs a glass of water from the counter. She doesn’t notice me at first, but as I get closer, I make sure my presence is known.
“Hey, y/n,” I called.
She turns around, eyes narrowing the moment they meet mine. The usual irritation flashes in her expression, and I feel a small thrill run through me. I love how she can’t stand me.
“What do you want, hamzah?” she snaps, not even bothering with pleasantries.
“Oh, I just thought I’d come over and say hi,” I say with a grin, leaning casually against the counter beside her. “You know, make sure you’re not too bored without me here.”
She rolls her eyes, but this time there’s something else in her expression. Something... hesitant.
“I’m fine, thanks,” she says stiffly, taking a step back.
Before I can say anything else, Martin chimes in from across the room, grinning. “You two are like fireworks—always about to explode.”
I glance at martin, then back at y/n, and for a split second, I catch her looking at me differently. Not with hatred, but with... curiosity? It’s only for a second, but it’s enough to make me pause.
“Just wait,” martin continues, clearly loving every second of the tension between us. “I bet you’ll be laughing at each other’s jokes soon enough.”
I scoff, crossing my arms. “That’s never going to happen. y/n and I are practically opposites. I’m the fun, charismatic one, and she’s... well, she’s got that cold, standoffish thing going for her.”
y/n glares at me, but there’s something in her eyes that makes me pause. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it’s there. Something that’s pulling me in, even though I know I should stop.
“You’re full of yourself,” she mutters, almost to herself, but loud enough for me to hear.
“I’m not full of myself,” I shoot back, stepping a little closer. “I’m just confident.”
She looks at me for a long moment, almost like she’s sizing me up. Then, unexpectedly, her lips twitch upward in the smallest smile.
“Good luck with that,” she says under her breath, before turning to walk away.
-
I hate how much hamzah annoys me.
He’s tall, muscular, tan... and everything about him screams “attention-grabbing.” But it’s not just his physical appearance that bothers me. It’s the fact that he knows exactly what to say to get under my skin. His jokes, his arrogance, his damn smile—all of it makes my blood boil.
And yet... there's something about him that I can't seem to shake.
He’s always in my face, always making those stupid comments and pushing me to my limits. There’s no escaping it, not with mandy and martin always dragging us into the same social circles. It doesn’t help that he’s impossibly good-looking, and everyone else seems to fall for his charm.
But not me. Never me.
Tonight, I’m just trying to get through this evening without throwing a drink in his face, when of course, he has to ruin it.
“Hey, y/n,” his voice floats over, smooth and teasing as usual.
I try to ignore him, but before I know it, he’s standing next to me. I can feel the heat of his presence, the way he leans in, taking up space in a way only he can.
“What do you want, hamzah?” I ask, trying to keep my voice steady, but there’s a flicker of something in me that’s unsettled.
“I just thought I’d come over and say hi,” he replies, leaning too close for comfort. “You know, make sure you’re not too bored without me here.”
I roll my eyes, doing everything in my power not to react to the butterflies fluttering in my stomach. This is what he does. He gets close, makes everything about him, and then watches me squirm. I hate it.
“I’m fine, thanks,” I say curtly, taking a small step back, but of course, he doesn’t move.
And then, there’s martin, always instigating. “You two are like fireworks—always about to explode.”
I glance at martin, then back at hamzah. For a second, I almost feel something else. A tension that’s different. He’s never looked at me quite like that before. Like he’s not just teasing me. Like he’s actually trying to understand me?
I shake the thought away. Focus, y/n. He’s the same jackass he’s always been.
But then, I hear him say something that almost makes me laugh. “I’m not full of myself,” he says, almost defensively. “I’m just confident.”
I blink, caught off guard by how genuinely annoyed he sounds, like he's not used to anyone challenging his confidence.
“You’re full of yourself,” I mutter under my breath.
He leans in closer, his smile widening. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
I don’t know why I do it, but I can’t help but let a tiny smile slip out. It’s the first time he’s caught me off guard like that. His smile falters for a second, before he turns away, leaving me wondering if maybe I'm not the only one who feels the tension between us.
-
I can’t stop thinking about y/n.
She’s impossible to ignore, and the more I try, the more it feels like she’s pulling me in. Every little interaction, every quick exchange of words. It's like there’s this invisible line between us, and I can’t figure out if I want to pull away or get closer.
Maybe martin’s right. Maybe we’re just too stubborn to admit that we’re not as different as we pretend.
One thing’s for sure: the game is changing, and for the first time, I’m not sure if I’m the one in control or if it’s her who’s slowly pulling me in.
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kitts-mechanix · 2 days ago
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Exactly! The fact that so many people are leaving the fandom is....it's tragic. Just about everyone I know is gone at this point. I've spent an entire decade teaching myself how to draw, creating entire worlds, writing immersive stories, things I hope people could love and appreciate the way I love and appreciate their works. So many things that I've yet to post even. I think one of the reasons this fandom used to be one of the safest, kindest fandoms is because we all knew what it was like to be put down, bullied, ostracised by others for loving "the weakest Pixar franchise" and especially Cars 2 AKA "Pixar's most hated movie". And the community was active and supported each other. Most of us were never famous, but that was okay because we did all of this for fun, not fame.
I honestly feel guilty, and even like a whiny baby, when I lament about no one comments on anything anymore. I can't recall the last time I got a meaningful comment on my work, or a comment about how the chapter of a story made them feel, details they loved, etc. I don't want to sound entitled, but I miss the days when people took the time to write out thoughtful comments and read. And the fact that no one really does that anymore, honestly just makes my writer's a block a lot worse. Why slave away on something no one will read? I'm not going to stop doing what I love. But it's harder now than it ever was before.
There were so many people in this fandom I loved who have moved on. Some were like sisters to me. Fizz was my inspiration too, and I've always appreciated my interactions with Blay. I lost two online sisters (I won't name them) who both fell down dark paths and cut me out for no reason. (A major FU to CC for turning one of them into Anakin Skywalker). I remember talking to people like Asphalt, RMS Olympic, or Fizz, or Eclipse, or Shadow and it felt like I was meeting a celebrity! I especially freaked out when I became close friends/sisters with some of them. This was back in 2017. I could have never foreseen what would happen after 2021....
And speaking of 2021, I think the reason we were so darn blessed to have one last year of what we once had, was because of one thing: Cars 2 10th anniversary. The diecast collection was exciting again. People made content and interacted again. We all had a renaissance. I had THE best Christmas since 2016. I thought this was the dawn of a new era. And then my 22nd birthday was pretty incredible too with all the cool Cars stuff I got, best one since my 16th! But that was the last spark. With one final burst, the fire had died out. I have not been able to rekindle it since.
And yeah I know about that monster being back, I really hope that petition will make a difference (last I checked it just needs 20 more sigs). I am slowly re-uploading my stuff (although a certain OC is probably never going to see the light of day again) but if things get too crazy I will honestly lock it behind "members only" for the sake of my mental health. I feel the fandom is either less welcoming to diverse people now or the welcoming sides are very extremist, neither of which I ever saw in my old days in the fandom. And while I'm not a fan of yaoi ships personally, I do believe people should have the freedom to create, express and share things like that. If people don't like something, they need to learn they have two options it: go back, or if you must, block it. It's that simple.
Anyway sorry for the ramble. I'm just glad someone gets it, you know? Honestly, I've been holding these thoughts in for a LONG time and now I just....I can't hold it back anymore.
I love this series and its characters with all my heart. Nothing could ever take that away. This franchise saved my life in 2015, just like G1 Transformers did back in August. But I cannot deal with what this fandom has become anymore.
RIP Cars fandom. 2006-2021
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Fandom Problem #7581:
I hate how normalized harassment, bullying and overall being a dick has become normalized in fandom spaces. What's sick to me is that these people will harass and dox someone over the dumbest shit and then try to make themselves seem like they're morally right to do so, it's like it's a game to them. It honestly makes me feel like there's no point in being in fandoms at all if I could get harassed off a platform for the dumbest thing
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beyondthetemples-ooc · 2 years ago
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youtube
A A A H
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ayrennaranaaldmeri · 7 months ago
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ok ok its my fault for being on reddit but r/houseofthedragon rn full of people arguing that demon and his 99% neck lizard have a stronger bond than aegon and sunfyre and it's so fucking frustrating that its entirely condolt's fucking fault that this is even a fucking argument because he thinks the greatest bond between a dragon and his rider to ever go that fucking hard in this universe is pRopaganda and gives dae mon and car ax es more screentime. i'm just so fucking done man. never showed us sunfyre TRULY until it was time for demon jr the anime edgelord to attack him and aegon, never get the fact that sunfyre is literally on aegon's arms, never got the coronation flying, DIDN'T GET ANYTHING UNTIL IT WAS TIME TO FUCK HIM UP FOR THE PLOT.
i wish this mf would get fucking fired before he has a chance to touch these two anymore because I don't think i can handle how he will underplay and butcher the fact that this dragon literally fought tooth and claw with a broken wing to find his way back to his rider.
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russianyoshkinaneko · 2 months ago
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while looking through games i've played (for the Game Challenge on bluesky) i have (re)discovered my now 12 year old video of my favorite thing to do in Assassin's Creed 1.
wanted to add a couple of other vids of me doing the same thing back in 2022, but tmblr doesn't allow more than 1 file in a post :(
so i compiled all the vids into one
(the old one had no audio so the first ~30sec is silent ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )
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seventh-district · 3 months ago
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7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos
#normal Saturday morning behavior#redacted spoilers#redacted audio#redacted sam#Seven.txt#rp audio stuff#well. crying over one singular blorbo in particular. Sam's still got me in an emotional chokehold#and i'm too sad to even make a stupid little joke abt how i wouldn't mind if it was a physical one too. ayeee *insert sad eyebrow wiggle*#no but seriously. i have so many feelings abt him and i can't even say it all bc some of it isn't public info yet#eh fuck it i'll just draft this until the audio goes public and then i'll post it once it's no longer Exclusive Info#bc i dont wanna leak Early Access stuff but i have to get this out of my system rn and the new audio is part of what sparked these thoughts#which is funny bc i. literally haven't even listened to it yet. i'm not Ready 😭#where's that tiktok screenshot that's like. 'hyperfixation so bad that i can't even engage with the source material' bc that's me rn#like bro Sam only won the poll like. 2 or 3 days ago and Eric is Already dropping a new Sam audio?? hello? Mr. Redacted i wasn't prepared#anyways i was spoiling myself by perusing the comments last night trying to get a feel for if it's gonna be more angst or comfort#and i saw a comment that absolutely shattered me. and it reignited all my sad thoughts about Sam's eventual. uh. y'know. death.#apparently they plant a tree together or smthn in the new audio (which already has me & my beloved 10y/o orange tree feeling some kinda way#but to the individual in the comments who brought to all our minds the image of Sam sitting beneath that tree in 30 or so years time#when he's decided that he's ready to die and sits out there waiting for the sun to rise..................... 🥲#i'm gonna need u to compensate me for all of that unexpected emotional damage /j /nm#i'm Still not over what he told Darlin' while they had their talk about the future up on his roof together. that audio killed me#then yesterday i was listening to my Sam & Darlin' playlist while cleaning. and Malibu Nights by LANY came on. which i always skip bc Sad#but i let it play and just started crying. standing in the middle of the room all disheveled and holding a broom. as one does.#iirc that song is one that Eric himself said is applicable to Sam which is why/how i found it and put it on the playlist. and god. g o d#hm. i hope that wasn't Patreon exclusive info. i can't remember if it was a public post where he said that or not. hope it's okay to share#but if we can take that song as like. unofficial canon for Sam then that also confirms my idea that he used to drink to cope#which makes the opening lines of Fix What You Didn't Break by Nate Smith even more applicable. i should go edit that post actually#anyways i'm just. feeling a lot. and i love Sam very much and i don't want him to die. but i want him to do what he wants at the same time#Alexis took so fucking much from him. he deserves to live - and end - his life on his own terms. ... i think i need to go write something#*casually fishes this post out of the drafts 3 and a half days later* hi so uh. i wrote a 4k oneshot :) and will hopefully post it tomorrow
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gonzodangerfeels · 1 month ago
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Me: boy go to your mother for flexibility lessons.
#for real though I was amazed by you even as kids#I'm just like...well I'm strong#she took a ride on that 18 year old rooster leg#muscles and bulges either way you were enjoying yourself#and no I would have to say anyone that tried against us failed#I can't even remember how it gushed extra after it started up#me¡ is she pushing harder?¡?#fun and dream is all there is inside of your spirit#your name can be generated so nicely#mine always sounds like a tribute to Spanish pirates or some jew they hung on a cross#no birthmarks on me though *shrugs*#I wanna lick that mole on youe hip though#it was so bewildering your flesh matching mine#interesting that mom would have recognized you perhaps at that point#I like how when I process something new it ripples through my dumb fleah bound brain#is it strange even as children I wanted you to wear the spiked dog collar even though you were playing Penny#your hair lightened up from tree to shoe#I was like look at this cute pretty girl#dirty blond hair to match the dirt on her face#we got dirty as children it was the way of the land#sugar sand and micro granules of that black shit#I love how you got the GoDDaddy Everetts view on things#I am curious how bad you had mom's friend and daughter under your control#it is so weird how you need control (mommy is a lil' freak) and yet I feel like I have nothing worth giving#maybe you asked to hold it once while I peed#it was us and back then *shrugs* it was pre sexualized exercises if exploring#when you squat and pee and I'm like don't you need to wipe and you're like nah I'll be alright#we both have visions of Grandpa's present as we put the caterpillar into the coffee can#maybe it was already a cocoon#rusty ass old maxwell house that hasn't seen freah coffee since we were in diapers
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medicinemane · 6 months ago
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Honestly a lot of the time, it's not even about people having to agree with me, it's about needing to know that they actually heard and listened to what I had to say even if it didn't persuade them
Just... some basic indication that there's enough respect to give a shit about what I said, and also to make sure that they disagree because they actually disagree and not cause they just didn't bother listening
It's all I really ask
#I forgot what this was about part way through writing about it; but then I remembered it's about Ukraine#like I just need to know that you actually understand what's happening there and what people are going through#you want me to care about your thing? show me you have any any any grasp of what's going on in Ukraine#it's uh... it's too many friends where if I'm just honest... this is about them#people I adore but people where... I don't know if they ever even once listen to what I have to say#...though maybe it's better this way... at least if they just ignore me I can say they just don't understand what's going on#that they're just being fed lines by other people or don't care#...if... they... knew the shit Ukrainians go through and still didn't care... would be a lot harder to respect them#would take a certain level of callous to do that and... these are people I care about very much so#...but I don't know; eats at me... you know#...and even on less serious topics... boy I wish you'd ever listen to me#if it weren't for the fact you say you like me... I'd be pretty damn sure you can't fucking stand me and I do nothing but annoy you#...I don't know if you've... ever... listened to anything I've said on any subject#when you do; you usually correct me... even though; brilliant as you are... you're erm... not always right#I don't get it... I don't get you... every word I say seems to be wrong... I'm so stupid and you're so smart#and yet you get real upset when I want to die... so you must actually like me and our communication styles don't match up#thank god you never seem to read my tags... or... much of anything else I say#truthfully I'd follow you anywhere; and you can treat me any way you want#but man I don't think my thoughts or opinions matter to you even a little... I think I just exist to be your rubber duck#...that's how it feels anyway#but all that aside... just wish you'd listen to me on Ukraine cause it actually matters#this post started out about some other people too... and sure... I like them well enough; and they're maddeningly wrong#like sputnik levels or wrong#drives me nuts; like you're not stupid and you're not cruel so why do you act so stupid and cruel?... turn you brain on#but uh... I actually just don't care about them that much#where as you... I could put it into words... but I won't#it's just a shame... like forget any of the stuff about me; it's just you're so kind... wish you'd care about what's going on in Ukraine#...I gotta stop or I'll go on all night; and I'm already too tired#mm tag so i can find things later
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ame-to-ame · 8 months ago
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there are things that you don't do for a year or more and pick up just right where you left off and these days i fear loving you might be one of them
#double meaning on that but. yeah.#it's like. i haven't touched the imaging software i use for an entire year. soldering iron in decades. pick it right back up. to my surpris#muscle memory is crazy#i don't draw for months and pick up right where i was with a few sketches bc the work you put in stays even when you don't actively practic#when it's something you've practiced weekly and daily it sticks with you and ig that's good#but then it's like. the horrors. that haunt you. yk? what if a part of me will always save a soft spot for my ex. what then.#what if I'm fine now and I'm doing okay and i don't miss it and I think i'm okay moving forward and i see her and suddenly I'm on the floor#what if some part of me that was in love never really went away what if i haven't managed to kill all of it yet#bc i genuinely would not know what to do. i. i don't want to admit it but one of my worst fears is liking someone who doesn't like you back#and what's even more horrifying is if it's obvious. if everyone can tell. and usually I'm good at hiding it! (not really) but it's just. id#it's shame in liking someone who you tell yourself you don't want to like and you know you shouldn't. and not having control over it.#hoping praying that either she does something that turns the little switch in my head that sends her into the unforgivable category#or that i become straight. or that i become straight. mhm. yep. or ig the other option is i get a crush on someone new but like. mm.#i kinda have gotten w every person I've had a crush on since hs and i kinda don't think im ready for another rs so soon.#the baggage i just got is. hm. idk i kinda don't wanna unpack it. it's something that can easily be done if i had the missing pieces but.#i don't think I'm ever gonna get them. so. instead I'm gonna take. maybe another 3 months or 5 months or a year or a few. to just. slowly.#idek. it's just triggering old things. bringing me back to when i was 14. i never really got closure from that either. it took me 3 years.#I'm sure this time it'll go away faster but idk experiencing it a second time has a different feel to it. idk. it's weird.#it's like. idk. it's like you're watching it happen and you're not even there anymore. idk. i really don't know.#oh. I've been dissociating.#idk maybe it's for the best i really don't know i really don't know and everyone says i have to do what's best for myself but idk what is#my life is on track things are moving forward I'm doing better and healing but i can't escape the feeling of dread#something is going to catch up with me sooner or later and idk what it is idk at what intensity and idk if i will be ready for it#but anyway. when you love someone intentionally every day for a while. when does it go away? will it go away?#or will i have to live haunted by ppl who are alive but changed. so practically dead w/o the opportunity to mourn. for the rest of my life?#like i don't think i get it. loving this person was like. cooking and eating. intentional. ingrained into everyday life. effortful.#what if my mind does forget but my body still remembers. what then. what if it's like searching for sth you don't remember having anymore#ig I'm just trying to figure out how much to forget these days. how much won't hurt if it all comes back to haunt me#delete later
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adhdphilosopher · 4 months ago
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im so full of anger every day that it makes it hard to function. what do i do
#blah blah blah#i generally try to not tamp down my thoughts and feelings but at what point is it 'being open' and at what point is it 'stewing'#i miss doing therapy but my medicaid doesnt cover psychiatric care#and my workplace is likely to schedule me back down at 20h/week once our new manager begins here#im so mad . he starts next week but idk if that means sunday (tomorrow) or monday#and why was only next week's schedule posted. why not the whole month#i have another job trying to schedule me and that one is easier to move around than the main one#full timers work 30h or more#and ive been working at least 35 every week for the past month since weve not had a manager#i want healthcare#i know im in a privileged position where i can even try to demand these things#but i am worried about the nextg year bc i dont know what my hours will look like yet#so i can't reliably predict my income for the year to select my own plan through the state service??#luckily open enrollment is nov and dec and it's only the start of nov now#i don't have a third recommender for phd programs so i can't fully submit those applications yet#im just so full of anger i feel unable to move#and the anger is of course about the odd time trying to balance my two part time jobs and rent and health#but it's also about! gestures at the globe full of things happening!#i am immobilized by anger and it's putting a big strain on my relationship with my partner and my family!#i don't know that going back to therapy would fix these things but if i could at least have a person to talk to once a week#specifically dedicated to talking about Problems#idk#maybe it would lessen the amount im dumping on everyone else#it feels so privileged and selfish and evil of me to have desires and feeling like i am the world's center of evil isnt helping anyone#pursuing a phd wouldnt be helping anyone#being unable to move for how full of emotions i am isnt helping anyone#maybe i should just . remembers suicide jokes are bad etc. join the circus
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