#snozzberries

[thetoymakers]

Lasted ten minutes into the Timothée Chalamet Wonka prequel. Someone save that adorable man. Hollywood, no! Look me in the eyes. This is the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory sequel that the world needs. Come on. Who wouldn't watch this?

You know Veruca wouldn't be so easily defeated.

[goodnessgraciousgal]

I found Wonka’s little Snozzberries

[gefrisbo]

but do the snozzberries taste like snozzberries?

I have been on a Willy Wonkified journey today and I need y'all to come with me

It started so innocently. Scrolling Google News I come across this article on Ars Technica:

At first glance I thought what happened was parents saw AI-generated images of an event their kids were at and became concerned, then realized it was fake. The reality? Oh so much better.

On Saturday, event organizers shut down a Glasgow-based "Willy's Chocolate Experience" after customers complained that the unofficial Wonka-inspired event, which took place in a sparsely decorated venue, did not match the lush AI-generated images listed on its official website.... According to Sky News, police were called to the event, and "advice was given."

Thing is, the people who paid to go were obviously not expecting exactly this:

But I can see how they'd be a bit pissed upon arriving to this:

It gets worse.

"Tempest, how could it possibly--"

source of this video that also includes this charming description:

Made up a villain called The Unknown — 'an evil chocolate maker who lives in the walls'

There is already a meme.

Oh yes, the Wish.com Oompa Loompa:

Who has already done an interview!

As bad (and hilarious) as this all is, I got curious about the company that put on this event. Did they somehow overreach? Did the actors they hired back out at the last minute? (Or after they saw the script...) Oddly enough, it doesn't seem so!

Given what I found when poking around I'm legit surprised there was an event at all. Cuz this outfit seems to be 100% a scam.

The website for this specific event is here and it has many AI generated images on it, as stated. I don't think anyone who bought tickets looked very closely at these images, otherwise they might have been concerned about how much Catgacating their children would be exposed to.

Yes, Catgacating. You know, CATgacating!

I personally don't think anyone should serve exarserdray flavored lollipops in public spaces given how many people are allergic to it. And the sweet teats might not have been age appropriate.

Though the Twilight Tunnel looks pretty cool:

I'm not sure that Dim Tight Twdrding is safe. I've also been warned that Vivue Sounds are in that weird frequency range that makes you poop your pants upon hearing them.

Yes, Virginia, these folks used an AI image generator for everything on the website and used Chat GPT for some of the text! From the FAQ:

Q: I cannot go on the available days. Will you have more dates in the future? A: Should there be capacity when you arrive, then you will be able to enter without any problems. In the event that this is not the case, we may ask you to wait a bit.

Fear not, for this question is asked again a few lines down and the answer makes more sense.

Curious about the events company behind this disaster, I took myself over to the homepage of House of Illuminati and I was not disappointed.

I would 100% trust these people to plan my wedding.

This abomination of a website is a badly edited WordPress blog filled with AI art and just enough blog posts to make the casual viewer think that it's a legit business for about 0.0004 seconds.

Their attention to detail is stunning, from how they left up the default first post every WP blog gets to how they didn't bother changing the name on several images, thus revealing where they came from. Like this one:

With the lovely and compact filename "DALL·E-2024-01-30-09.50.54-Imagine-a-scene-where-fantasy-and-reality-merge-seamlessly.-In-the-foreground-a-grand-interactive-gala-is-taking-place-filled-with-elegant-guests-i.png"

"Concept.png" came from the same AI generator that gets text almost, but not quiiiiiite right:

There are a suspicious number of .webp images in the uploads, which makes me think they either stole them from other sites where AI "art" was uploaded or they didn't want to pay for the hi-res versions of some and just grabbed the preview image.

The real fun came when I noticed this filename: Before-and-After-Eventologists-Transformation-Edgbaston-Cricket-Ground-1024x1024-1.jpg and decided to do a Google image search. Friends, you will be shocked to hear that the image in question, found on this post touting how they can transform a boring warehouse into a fun event space, was stolen from this actual event planner.

Even better, this weirdly grainy image?

From a post that claims to be about the preparations for a "Willy Wonka" experience (we'll get to this in a minute), is not only NOT an actual image of anyone preparing anything for Illuminati's event, it is stolen from a YouTube thumbnail that's been chopped to remove the name of the company that actually made this. Here's the video.

If you actually read the blog posts they're all copypasta or some AI generated crap. To the point where this seems like not a real business at all. There's very specific business information at the bottom, but nothing else seems real.

As I said, I'm kinda surprised they put on an event at all. This has, "And then they ran off with all our money!" written all over it. I'm perplexed.

And also wondering when the copyright lawyers are gonna start calling, because...

This post explicitly says they're putting together a "Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory Experience" complete with golden tickets.

Somewhere along the line someone must have wised up, because the actual event was called "Willys Chocolate Experience" (note the lack of apostrophe) and the script they handed to the actors about 10 minutes before they were supposed to "perform" was about a "Willy McDuff" and his chocolate factory.

As I was going through this madness with friends in a chat, one pointed out that it took very little prompting to get the free Chat GPT to spit out an event description and such very similar to all this while avoiding copyrighted phrases. But he couldn't figure out where the McDuff came from since it wasn't the type of thing GPT would usually spit out...

Until he altered the prompt to include it would be happening in Glasgow, Scotland.

You cannot make this stuff up.

But truly, honestly, I do not even understand why they didn't take the money and run. Clearly this was all set up to be a scam. A lazy, AI generated scam.

Everything from the website to the event images to the copy to the "script" to the names of things was either stolen or AI generated (aka stolen). Hell, I'd be looking for some poor Japanese visitor wandering the streets of Glasgow, confused, after being jacked for his mascot costume.

HE LIVES IN THE WALLS, Y'ALL.

[teneral]

The

[famousfor15]

[jellydishes]

i had a feverish sort of half awake dream earlier and i told my niece ro "Put the strawberries on the paper plate or they'll drip everywhere" which is a perfectly logical thing to say except that there are no strawberries in the house rn

[wraith-of-thiodolf]

All the flavors. Flavors you're familiar with, ones you haven't even thought of, and flavors that you've only imagined all hidden away in our hearts

shmoo heart

[weedjedi]

🌿🌌✨ Today, I found myself lost in thoughts about Endor and the mysterious Snozzberries rumored to exist there. Can you imagine the euphoric blend of Wonka's natural goodness with Star Wars magic? Let's share stoner musings and dive into the depths of this mind-bending revelation together. Buckle up, my friends. May the Force and the good vibes be with us all. WeedJedi.com

[possessedpasm]

Hey! I just wanted to let u know that I saw ur 70s style comic strip art and deadass literally thought it was an original vintage production from ‘78 or so. Your shit is so fucking cool dude

HEH HEH thank you :3

I love confusing and delighting people with my art, it makes me feel like Willy Wonka-- the scary Gene Wilder one

Carvey is my Snozzberries <3

[gendersuggestions]

Today's gender: Dressed in grungy black and grey clothes, with fruity Wonka socks so I feel like a silly little guy

[lamaenthel]

Human Shield

[read on ao3][masterlist]Febuwhump prompt: human shield

Darman could smell rain on the wind that gently blew their bedroom curtains. The sun was just beginning to rise, clouds filtering the pink light into cold gray. He buried his face in Etain's hair and took a deep breath.

Characters: RC-1136|Darman Skirata/Etain Tur-Mukan

Wordcount: 876

Darman could smell rain on the wind that gently blew their bedroom curtains. The sun was just beginning to rise, clouds filtering the pink light into cold gray. He buried his face in Etain's hair and took a deep breath.

"Morning." She shifted uncomfortably. Her belly had officially reached massive status, though Darman would cut his leg off before saying it to her face. "Mm. Lemme just…" She flung a sleepy hand in the direction of the window, closing it with her Force powers.

Darman chuckled and kissed the back of her neck. "You could have just asked me to close it, you know."

"Why get up when I can…" She wiggled her fingers. 

Darman took another deep breath of her dewberry blonde hair; she insisted it was brown, as though she'd never seen her own hair in the afternoon light. Her shampoo smelled like sunshine and had some sort of cactus he didn't recognize on the front of the bottle. "I like doing things for you."

"I know you do." She struggled to turn over in his arms. "You don't have to wait on me, Dar. You're not subservient to me."

"I absolutely am." He kissed her neck, and ignored the scowl that popped up in favor of gently biting the thin skin over her pulse point. "I'm your riduur. You're carrying my child. I am subservient to you in every way imaginable, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

"You're incorrigible," she grumbled.

He laughed. "And how are you feeling this morning, ner Et'ika?"

Etain looked dolefully down at her giant stomach and sighed. "Enormous." 

Darman kept kissing her neck, considering it the smarter option over confirming her opinion. "Do you want a massage?" he mumbled into her skin.

"Maybe later." She caught his hand and guided it to her belly, smiling. "Do you feel your son?"

He nodded, his throat going tight. There was a fluttering pulse under his palm. "He's kicking," Darman said in awe.

"Yeah he is." Etain adjusted herself again and frowned at her big belly. Darman sympathized with her. He'd jumped out of more than one larty hauling more in equipment than what his runt of a wife weighed soaking wet and seven months pregnant.

"He's feisty. Like his mama." Darman kissed her cheek.

"He's a pain in my shebs like his daddy," Etain corrected him. 

"Oh, you know I love it when you speak Mando'a, ner cyar'ika." Darman said, nuzzling her neck. He blew a snozzberry in her throat and made her laugh. "Ner jet'ika, ner mesh'lane cyar'ika, gar dinui ner runi mirjahaal. Ni kartay'li gar darasuum."

"I love you too," she sighed, lacing their hands together over her stomach. "I'm sorry, Dar."

"About what?"

"That we never got to do this." She blinked her big, sad green eyes at him. "We deserved this, but we never had it."

"What are you talking about, Et'ika?" Darman sat up, confused.

Etain just looked at him patiently. "You know what I'm talking about."

"I…" Darman couldn't draw a full breath.

"It's not your fault. You did nothing wrong, my love."

"I…" Not my girl! Not my girl!

"Hey." Etain pulled his face close, pressed their foreheads together. "It was my fault. I've been using a lightsaber since I was four years old. I knew better than to try and stop one with my body."

"Then why did you?" Darman whispered, shaking. "What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't." She laughed softly. "I wasn't thinking, Dar. I acted on instinct and made a stupid, stupid mistake that cost me my life. I'm sorry you had to watch."

"I miss you." Darman squeezed his eyes shut. "I miss you so much, Etain. I wish you could see Kad. He's… he's like you. He needs you, but he doesn't have you."

"Lucky for him, he has the best dad in the whole galaxy." She kissed his fingers. "I love you, Dar. I will always love you. Ni kartay'li gar darasuum, ner riduur." 

"Etain," Darman said frantically, "Etain, wait—"

"Daddy?"

Darman shot up, instantly awake. He'd never lost that ability, even though it'd been four years since he'd seen active combat. The smell of Etain's shampoo lingered in the air. "Kad?" He held out his arms to the silhouette in the doorway. It was early; the sun had just barely risen, the gray rainclouds above Kyrimorut bleaching the pink dawn into cold gray.

His son dove into his arms eagerly. "You okay, Daddy?" he asked, getting situated.

"Of course, ad'ika. Just a sad dream." Darman fluffed his son's dewberry-blond hair, the same as his mother's. "Let's get some breakfast. Daddy's hungry."

"Was it a mama dream?" Kad didn't seem eager to leave his arms.

Darman sighed. "Yeah. It was a mama dream."

"Well, that's okay then." Kad smiled. "That just means she misses you. That's what she says when I have mama dreams. She comes and sees me 'cause she misses me so much."

Darman didn't want to cry in front of his son, but it was a damn close call. He forced himself to smile instead and threw off the covers. "Come on. Let's make some waffles." He reached up to close the window he'd left cracked the night before and paused.

It was already closed.

Mando'a Translations riduur: spouse ner Et'ika: my little Etain shebs: butt ner cyar'ika: my sweetheart ner jet'ika, ner mesh'lane cyar'ika, gar dinui ner runi mirjahaal. ni kartay'li gar darasuum: my little jedi, my most beautiful sweetheart, you give my soul peace. i hold you in my heart forever ad'ika: child

Taglist: @starwarsficnetwork, @febuwhump, @soliloquy-of-nemo Divider: @saradika-graphics

[liminalmemories21]

Here is a director's commentary question for you Lim: where did the idea for the razzle snozzberry line come from in Knave 2? Idk why that particular scene always sticks out to me, but the sweetness of that whole moment is something I still think about from time to time

Thank you!

Okay, there was a period in the 80s when the world was obsessed with stranger-danger, and there was a whole thing about giving your kid a secret password, so that if you had to send someone they didn't know to pick them up at school you could give them the password so that your kid would know it was safe to go with them. And, my mother did this, although neither she nor I could ever remember what the secret password was, so it was somewhat ineffective.

But! I was reminded of this, and then I had the word razzle-something something stuck in my head, and had to go track down what it actually was (Charlie & the Chocolate Factory apparently, cultural osmosis for the win).

For the scene I wanted a way for Carlos to reassure Owen, but secretly, which meant I needed something that would only make sense to TK and Owen. And, I am always interested in what TK's childhood looked like, and the ways that Owen's involvement in 9/11 must have marked him, so I used this as a code that Owen had to use to reassure TK when he was a kid and turned it full circle here.

Director's Cut asks

[phynoma]

Important question:

(check the REASONINGS below for propaganda)

REASONINGS:

We all know the Gene Wilder boat scene, right? The one that traumatized you in your childhood?

So my automatic thought was something so trippy and gaslighting HAD to be Spiral...but we also know that as far as "trippiness" goes, the Stranger is more likely. And boy, is the Factory strange.

Other Spiral evidence: (again,mostly based on best-movie Wonka)

You've got Wonka pretending to need a cane to make his first entrance in years because he's a dramatic fuck

So many rooms. Where the fuck is anything

Says everything like it's completely normal (the snozzberries taste like snozzberries)

Glass elevator that can go literally any way it wants to

Casually yeeting children into humiliating circumstances to make a Point

That whole weird meta movie plot with Slugworth befriending the winners and trying to get them to betray trade secrets but it was actually Wonka all along

Stranger evidence:

You can't tell me the Oompa Loompas aren't Stranger. They're orange. They're supposedly tiny people from the rainforest. They sing and dance (clown like) as they doom literal children to the consequences of their (parents') hubris. They are vicious.

Again, weirdness of the factory and all it's rooms-- this LOOKS like a chocolate factory, but a chocolate factory from a fever dream

Wonka has a bit of a circus ringmaster flair. He doesn't just subtly subvert expectations, he makes it DRAMA

Actively recruits a bunch of children and body-horror twists them into parodies of themselves

And this isn't even getting into the golden ticket nonsense.

Please reblog for better sample size, yadda yadda

[teneral]

Desire

[icy-watch]

Oh, snozzberries