#snow miser x alex

[stanfordsenbyhusband]

I may hate the cold but god I love this silly icicle <3

S/i is transmasc enby and uses they/he/she pronouns

Pro.shippers/com.shippers DNI please

[supercorpkid]

Kara’s Earth birthday.

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader

Word Count: 2540.

“Oh, what you hiding in there?” You ask, coming from behind Lena and she jumps in fear. You chuckle at her reaction.

“Shhh, be quiet.” Lena says, shushing you with her finger. “I’m hiding Kara’s gift.”

“Oh! Momma’s birthday is coming up, you’re right.” You throw yourself in their bed, watching Lena carefully lock the lead box you gave her for Mother’s Day. “What are we doing for her?”

“I don’t know, baby. You’re not Superkid anymore so we can’t pick up her favorite foods from another countries, so maybe we just get potstickers and invite the Olsens.” Lena answers, still not paying attention to you, while she puts the box away. You breathe deep thinking about it.

“I could go.”

She looks back at you, looking confused. “No, my love. You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with just because it’s Kara’s birthday.”

“One: yes, I do. And two: it’s ok. I’m not uncomfortable with it at all.” You shrug. “It’s just flying, then landing in China and buying things from her favorite restaurant there. I don’t even need my suit.”

“Oh, you also don’t have your suit.” Lena says, moving to her closet and coming back with a box in hands. “Remember I burned it when I was you?”

“I do remember. Did I ground you for it, young lady?” You joke, making Lena roll her eyes at you.

“Here’s the new one.” She hands you the box and you open to see the House of El crest staring at you in its golden glory. You breathe deep.

“You know what? Just keep it.” You give her the box back. “It was here with you, anyway. I’m sure you’ll take better care now that you don’t have to wear it anymore.”

“Yeah?” Lena asks, unsure. You agree with your head.

“I’ll ask if I need it.” You watch Lena getting up and going back to the closet. You lower your glasses to see where she is keeping it, memorizing the shelf she put in. You adjust your glasses back on your face before she comes back into the room. “So-” You say when she shows up. “I’ll get the food. And I’ll make a gift for her in the lab. You already got her a gift, and we have the dinner planned.”

Lena smiles, agreeing.

“Doesn’t it all seem a little…” You think about it. “Basic?”

“Basic?”

“Yeah, I mean, isn’t it the same thing we do every year? Shouldn’t we try something different? Like, a surprise party?”

“A surprise party?” Lena parrots you. “For Kara?” You nod. “I think you’re forgetting we’ve tried that for years and we can never surprise her. She has super hearing and x-ray vision, baby. It’s like setting ourselves up for failure.”

“Ok, but what if we do it somewhere she can’t see through? Like the DEO. Or-or my lab!”

“You wanna throw a party in your lab?”

“I just want to try something different this year. Honestly, don’t you feel like this year we’ve been through all kinds of weird, miserable, fucked up things-”

“Language!”

“Sorry, but there isn’t any other word good enough to describe it.” You can see that your mom is agreeing with you. “For some reason I feel like this year we should be thankful we’re still alive and well and together.”

“You’re right.” She cups your face with a sad little smile. “We’ve been through so much; your momma deserves a really nice party with everyone here to celebrate.”

“Who’s everyone?”

“You know, everyone everyone.”

“Mom, everyone everyone who? We know like ten people.”

“Don’t worry about it. Just worry about the food, and straighten up your lab, so it looks less like a lab, and more like a place we could actually throw a party.” You see Lena’s eyes tinkling and you don’t even ask about it. You already have a long list of things to do. Gift, food, organizing the lab. You’ll need some help.

You go to your lab, you need to think of something to give her as a gift, and you only have two days to figure it out. It’s too short notice. Why the hell weren’t you thinking about this before?

You sit in your lab and think and think. What can you give Kara? You sit on the chair, on the floor, on the table. You lay in it, roll to one side, then to the other. You pace around the lab. You leave really quickly to buy some snacks and look for inspiration on the street. Then you go back to the lab. What can you give her? You play on your phone. Text your cousin -she doesn’t reply because she is at school-. You go see your mom upstairs -she is in a meeting and can’t talk-. You spend half an hour talking to Aly and distracting her from her receptionist job. You go back to the lab, lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling. Your entire day is a waste. You can’t think of a single thing to make and give to Kara.

The next day you ask Jamie’s help, when she leaves school, to make your lab more presentable. She has a lot of ideas. Some are very inflammable to do in a lab -honestly, most of them are-, but some are actually nice, and when you two are done your lab looks like someplace else.

“Can you move this table?” Jamie looks at your worktable in the middle of the room. “I mean, you probably can right?”

“I-yes, Jamie, I probably can.” You smirk, picking it up more than a thousand pounds with one hand and moving to the side.

“You know, that’s something I never get tired of watching.”

You think about how many times you’ve seen Kara with one couch in one hand, her phone on the other, while Lena vacuums under it. How do the rest of the world clean under heavy furniture? You don’t even know.

“Ok. How about now?” You ask looking around and Jamie agrees with a smile.

“It’s perfect.”

“Great! Now I just have to think about something I can make or buy for her.”

“Well, I can’t help with that.” Jamie says, grabbing her stuff and making her way out your lab. You follow her closely behind. “I had one idea and it was a little notebook that she can use for work.”

“That’s actually quite clever.” You grunt, frustrated.

“Don’t sound so surprised.”

Why can’t you think of something to give to your momma? It used to be so easy and now you can’t think of anything for the life of you. It’s so disappointing. You know that Kara won’t care about what you give her, but why on Earth is it so hard?

“Hey.” Kara knocks on your door, late at night. You look at your alarm clock, confused. It’s too late. “Heard you were still up.”

“Oh. Come in.” You say and you don’t have to call twice to Kara throw her body next to yours, flopping on her belly.

“You seemed distracted today. I wanted to check if you’re alright.” She slings her arm around your ribcage, and you smile to yourself. Rao, this woman deserves the entire universe. There’s nothing you could make that would be good enough for her. You kiss the crown of her head.

“I love you.”

“Oh.” Kara says, raising her head to look at you. “I love you too, babyface.” But she raises an eyebrow right after. “Is that all?”

“Mhm.” You smile. “I’m alright. You?”

Kara’s eyebrows pinch together, and you see her crinkle showing. You ease it up with your thumb.

“No need to worry. I’m actually fine.”

“My face betrays me.” She says with a laugh. “Gonna get botox for that.”

“No. You look perfect as you are, momma.” You cup her face, and she smiles, kissing your hand in return.

“Ok, I’m gonna let you sleep, then. Have a goodnight, kid.”

The very next day is the day of the party. You make some adjustments here and there. And wait for Lena to say its time.

“Hey!” Lena enters your lab with a big cake in hands. “The place looks great!”

“I know, right? Jamie had a bunch of cool ideas.”

“Your momma’s going to love it.” She places the cake on the table. “Ok, time to fly to China for the food. Here.” She gives you her credit card. “I’ll wait for the guests and when we’re all here, we’ll get her to come.”

“Ok, cool.” You look at the list of things to buy, and Lena’s card. It’s a lot of food. You wonder how many people she has invited.

When you come back, balancing all the food she’s asked for, your lab is already filled with guests, with portals opening, bringing more people in.

“Hey Superkid!” Barry says, coming from the portal with wife, kids, Caitlin Snow, Cisco, and a bunch of other people right behind him.

“Hey!” You try to wave without dropping the food, which is hard.

“Here, kiddo, let me help.” Alex shows up next to you. She grabs a few bags and helps you set up the table. “Nice party.”

“Thanks. Jamie actually helped decorate.” You say, and you hear Jamie’s voice right behind you.

“It would’ve been nicer if you had let me bring sparkles.”

“So we could burn this place down? No, thanks.” You answer and watch Superman walking in with his family following him closely by. “Hi, Kal!” And not far behind, you see Eliza. “Oh! Gramm! You came!”

“I sure did!” She opens her arms, and you walk into her embrace. “Look at you! You’re so tall now! You look exactly like your momma.”

“Speaking of her-” You hear Lena’s voice. “Seems like everyone is here already. Oh wait, here comes Nia and Brainy. Alex? Is J’onn and M’gann coming?”

“On their way!”

“When they get here, you call your momma ok?” Lena moves away from you, and you agree with your head. You look around again. There are too many people in your lab, you didn’t even know you all knew this many people, let alone that you could gather all of them in one place.

“We’re here! Sorry, sorry!” J’onn says walking in, and you look at Lena who nods at your phone.

You: Hey! You busy?

Momma: Going home, why baby?

You: I need help with something here in my lab. Can you come over? I have donuts🍩🍩🍩

Momma: DONUTS! Say no more!

“Guys, she’s coming!”

Everyone stops talking, and Lena comes at you with the cake. You look at it with a smile on your face, you still can’t believe she made a cake that looks like a potsticker. Your momma will freak.

“Little one?” You hear Kara from the other side of the door.

“Yeah! Come in!” You watch Kara opening the door and getting startled when everyone yells.

“SURPRISE!”

“What! You did not just surprise me! That’s so cool!” Kara comes closer with the biggest smile you have ever seen. “Awww, look at all of this! OH MY GOD, THE CAKE! LOOK AT THE CAKE!”

“Go ahead, blow it out.” Lena says.

“Gently.” Alex adds, making you chuckle at the thought.

“Make a wish.” You suggest right after.

“What else can I wish for?” Kara says with a soft smile, and your cheeks burn red. She blows out the candles, and it doesn’t take long for the party to actually start.

She goes around saying ‘hello’ and ‘thank you’ to everyone, and you sit in a corner with Jamie to eat. Gramm joins right after and it’s great to see her for a while.

It’s really late at night when the portals start to open, people start to leave, and there’s no one left in your lab but your aunts, Gramm, Jamie and moms. They help you clean up the whole thing and soon enough they’re giving Kara their gifts.

You feel embarrassed that you don’t have anything to give her, so you slip out of the lab, praying she doesn’t notice your lack of gift for her.

“Hey, where are you going, kid?” Kara pulls you in, looking at you fondly.

You shrug and look down. How do you tell her you couldn’t think of a single present to give her?

“What’s that about?”

“I didn’t get you anything.” You breathe out.

“You didn’t-” Kara laughs. “Really? So a surprise party is nothing? And flying to another country to pick up my favorite foods doesn’t count?” You raise your eyes to finally look at her. “Why would you give me something else besides this whole thing?”

“I just-” You shrug again, cheeks burning with shame. She doesn’t push you any further, but she also doesn’t let go. Kara just looks at you, waiting for you to give her something. “Made all these big plans, because I wanted the day to be extra special.”

“And why is that kid?” She asks, and you bite your lip. “You know, I’m very happy with the party, and with the fact that I got to see everyone. But I would also be very happy if it was just you, Lena and me, and a little cupcake.” Kara says cupping your face. “Why did today have to be so special?”

“Because-” She raises her eyebrow encouraging you. “We had a difficult year, and I know that it was my fault.”

“What? Of course it was not your fault!”

“Momma, I almost died a few times, I went to three different realities, I was mind controlled, couldn’t get up from bed-”

“Ok, let me stop you right there.” Kara’s face becomes very serious. “You were kidnapped three times. You got tricked by an imp, which, by the way, I’ve been too. You were literally mind controlled by a villain. How-how can you say this is your fault?” You open your mouth. “How can I possibly think that it is your fault that you couldn’t get up from bed, when all of this has happened to you in less than a year, little one?”

You breathe out. You don’t know what to tell her.

“Yes, you’re right. It’s been a difficult year for the three of us. But what about meeting Maya, and everyone you met when you went to different realities? What about all the laughter, hugs, and kisses and the love we shared this year? Hm? Didn’t that make this year a little enjoyable?” Kara asks and you agree with your head. “I don’t need a huge party, the biggest cake you can buy, or any of this to make me happy. You know what I need?”

“Me?” You ask with a little smile, and she smiles widely at you.

“Yes, my heart. I need you.” Kara pulls you in for a hug and a forehead kiss. “And your mom too. Trust me, the fact that you’re both here in this universe with me, makes coming to Earth the best thing that has ever happened in my life.”

You smile, feeling less heavy.

“I love you, momma.” You kiss her forehead. “Happy Earth birthday. I’m glad you ended up here.”

“Me too, kid. Me too.”

[ruzek-halstead]

dead of night

pairing: luke patterson x julie molina

written based on prompt:

"it’s three am, in the dead of winter, some idiot pulled/set off the fire alarm and i am being very vocal about how i’m gonna make that dumbass pay"

university au

masterlist || ao3 || twitter profiles

       When Julie heard the blaring alarm blasting throughout the room, she nearly cried.

It was midterm season, and she had been up late until two a.m. cramming for her exam later that day. She wasn't one to normally rely on cramming as her sole source of studying, but she had a paper due the previous day and another midterm the day before. She could only focus on one thing at a time. It pained her though, because Julie was a meticulous planner. She liked to have everything written down on a calendar and lay out a set number of dedicated time she would have to work on each assignment.

Nothing went as planned this time.

She had finally dragged herself to bed at around 2:15 a.m., with a set alarm for early in the morning to go over her notes some more. She never actually woke up on time for these said alarms, but it was the effort that counted. At least, that's what she constantly told herself.

It felt like she had only been asleep for all of twenty minutes when she was suddenly being ripped away from her REM sleep, and she was ready to kill someone.

"What the hell?" Julie hissed, throwing her duvet off her body violently. She could see her roommate Flynn (and best friend - they'd known each other since diapers) pulling on her shoes. Julie checked her phone from the bedside table and noted the time was now 3:26 a.m. She'd hardly been asleep for an hour.

Flynn opened their room door and was met with a number of their fellow students moving rapidly throughout the hallway. "Oh shit," she muttered, turning back to Julie. "Jules, get your ass out here. I'm not sure this is a drill."

Julie let out a loud groan, threw on her pair of black converse and booked it out the door after Flynn. She didn't even have time to grab a sweater like Flynn did, and only realized when she was halfway out the building, she was wearing a NYU short sleeve t-shirt and a pair of thin leggings.

"Someone better be on fire," she growled under her breath. She and Flynn were huddled together off to the side, trying not to freeze their asses off. New York was known for their particularly cold winters; it was mid-November, and this was no exception. The ground was littered with a light dusting of snow, and every time Julie breathed, she could see her breath.

She had never felt the urge to commit a felony such as murder until this moment.

Julie was so angry, she didn't notice the cluster of students hanging off to their right. She only noticed when she picked up on something particularly interesting one of them said.

"For the love of god, Luke!" The tall, blonde one yelled (Julie thought he was trying to whisper, but he obviously failed miserably). He also hit the shaggy-haired brunette (she assumed that was Luke) upside the head. "Dude, you set off the fire alarm! Our whole residence is outside in the snow!"

Julie's eyes widened and her grip on Flynn's arm tightened. Flynn groaned, absentmindedly shrinking closer to the ground.

"Alex's right. That guy's not even wearing pants!" The other brunette piped in, pointedly avoiding looking at the student in question. All three boys were dressed appropriately; pants, sweaters and beanies. Almost as if this was planned or something.

It only made Julie's blood boil even hotter.

Luke rolled his eyes, latching onto the third boys' shoulder. "Relax, Reggie. It was an accident."

"They're going to eat you alive if they find out," Alex added sassily. "I'll help them. You screwed up my beauty sleep, bro."

Luke snorted. "What beauty sleep?"

"Don't test me right now!" Alex snapped. "You know what this dry cold does to my skin!"

Luke nodded with a pout, seemingly sympathetic. "Stop being such a baby and live a little! This is sort of hilarious."

Reggie bit his lip and averted his eyes from Alex, who looked like he was about to rip his own hair out. "Dude, I'm going to strangle you if you don't stop talking."

"Oh my god," Julie hissed at Flynn. "Are you hearing this? These idiots did this because they're idiots! What the hell?"

Flynn chanced a look behind them, surveying the three boys. "Hmm, they're kind of cute," she said without thinking. Julie was quick to throw her murderous glare in her direction. "Wait no — that came out wrong..."

"I'm going to kill him."

Flynn had to grab Julie's arm and yank her back.

"Julie! I don't have the money to bail you out of jail right now! Don't do me like this!"

Julie huffed. "I have to say something. I have an exam later and I should be sleeping!"

"Just no felonies, okay?" Flynn pleaded with puppy dog eyes. Julie conceded with a nod.

Whirling around, Julie marched up to 'Luke' and tapped him on the shoulder. He whirled around and the smile he was sporting dropped from his lips; now he just looked confused. "Uh — can I help you?"

"Probably not," she started bitterly, "but I just happened to overhear that you're the idiot who pulled the fire alarm and I would genuinely like to know what in the hell would possess you to do such a thing on a fucking Tuesday during midterms?"

Julie was now yelling and Luke looked like a terrified deer in headlights.

His friends were holding onto each other with wide eyes.

"Uh — well —" He stammered on embarrassingly.

"Some of us have shit to do! I have a midterm in a few hours and instead of sleeping, I'm stuck out here with you and believe me, I'm trying really hard not to punch you in the throat right now."

Luke blinked, his mouth opening and closing because he didn't know what he could possibly say to make this situation better.

Alex did, however.

"Do it," Alex blurted, "punch him!"

Luke whirled around, looking affronted. "Dude!"

"Don't 'dude' me," Alex sassed. "You deserve it."

Luke turned back to face Julie with a newly apologetic expression as he tried to explain himself. "Listen," he started and by the furious look on her face, he could already tell it was the wrong thing to say. "Shit, I'm sorry! I just — I swear, this was all a misunderstanding. I really didn't mean to do it; it just happened."

"Buddy," Reggie leaned in to whisper in his ear. "This doesn't sound nearly as good as you think it does."

Luke rolled his eyes, pushing his friend back into Alex. "I'm sorry; what can I do to make this better?" For the first time since she started yelling at him, he actually looked at her.

She looked absolutely exhausted and it only made Luke feel guiltier. Her hair was up in a messy bun and her glasses were low on the bridge of her nose. He took note of her outfit and the thin t-shirt; she was obviously freezing and the goosebumps on her arms proved that. Immediately, he shrugged out of his hoodie.

"Um — here, take this," he shoved his NYU hoodie in her direction. She looked down at with furrowed brows, and then back at him. Her glare was still in full force, and Luke admired her ability to look so angry, but so adorable at the same time. "It's the least I can do."

Julie looked down at the sweater again, scoffed in annoyance and walked away.

Flynn was holding back a laugh as she made eye contact with Luke. He looked exasperated as he hobbled after Julie.

"Wait! Just — hold on a second!"

Julie didn't feel like stopping for him and her angry speed-walking was finally sending some blood back into her arms. When Luke grabbed her arm to spin her around, she turned to him with a ferocious glare. "Shit — okay, sorry," he dropped her arm sheepishly, "should've asked. I'm sorry. I just — please, take this."

Once again, he offered her his grey hoodie.

She really wanted to stand her ground and make a point. But she was genuinely freezing, and her pride could only control so much. With a sigh, she grabbed the hoodie and slipped it over her head. It fit baggy, but it was so warm and her eyes nearly rolled into the back of her head. She didn't even notice that this now left Luke in a measly t-shirt.

"Again, I'm really sorry," he apologized again, biting his lip. "You have a midterm later today and this was so stupid of me."

Julie took a deep breath; she felt calmer now. Probably because she had already yelled at him, and she was tired and she didn't have the energy to stay annoyed for much longer. Plus, he had already apologized like six times.

"It's fine. I may have overreacted a little bit."

Luke chuckled nervously. "No, you definitely didn't. I've always been told I'm a little — uh, reckless."

"And I guess I've been told I'm a bit uptight," she admitted. Julie had no idea why she was being so honest with a guy who's head she bit off five minutes ago; but he had really beautiful eyes, like puppy dog eyes and she couldn't help but get sucked in. "I'm Julie, by the way."

"Yeah?" He was suddenly hyper aware of how gorgeous she was and for the first time, she wasn't glaring at him. Holy shit, was she making googly eyes at him? "I mean — we can always treat that. I happen to know a few rascally boys that can help."

Julie let out a gentle laugh. God, this night really got away from her. She could see the firefighters start to exit the building, seemingly finding no sign of a fire and any other issue. "I think I'm hardwired like that, unfortunately."

The students around them slowly started filing back into the building and Luke realized he only had a few minutes left. "Um, well — again, I'm sorry. And I hope your midterm goes well." He originally intended to ask for her number, but of course, that's what came out instead.

"Thanks," she replied softly, thumbing at the sleeves of his sweater. "I can wash this sweater and get it back to you."

Julie gave him an opening and he knew it.

"Of course. Is it alright if we exchange numbers?"

Julie was surprised at the warmth that immediately spread through her chest. She could also feel the smile stretching across her lips through no effort of her own. "Yeah, that'd be great," she responded, "as long you promise not to wake me up at an ungodly time of the morning."

"No?" Luke raised an eyebrow, shooting her a smirk. He could see the fire in Julie's eyes and he knew the feeling was mutual. "But I thought that was our thing."

"If that's the case, our thing will also be me punching you in the throat."

x

i wanted to make julie sassier and make luke work for it a bit more but i got tired and i really wanted to post this asap so i kinda wrapped it up early. i hope it still ended okay???

[atinyrabbit]

love/hate songs

Since 8tracks is messed up and playmoss is gonna disappear and Spotify doesn't have many songs, I’m posting some of my playlists here. This is a list of songs about love/hate relationships for pairings. Enemies to lovers, tsundere personalities, hero/villain couplings, opposites attract, loving someone you know you shouldn't. This list is several years old so the songs are older and kinda ‘scene.’

Major trigger warnings for the lyrics of these songs. Some songs have violent lyrics. This playlist romanticizes conflict.

Song list under read more:

Love to Hate You - Erasure Nicotine - Panic! at the Disco Don't Let It Go To Your Head - Fefe Dobson Your Love Will Kill Me - Daniel Lavoie Bruises and Bitemarks (Remix) - Good With Grenades October & April - The Rasmus feat. Anette Olzon Violator - Son of Rust Sick Amore - El Creepo Disgusting - Ke$ha Dangerous - Depeche Mode Oleander - Mother Mother Fear & Delight - The Correspondents Love is a Suicide - Natalia Kills Sex as a Weapon - Pat Benatar I'd Love To Kill You - Katie Melua Before I Ever Met You - Banks Rent - Pet Shop Boys Helpless When She Smiles - Backstreet Boys Holy - Zolita Strangelove - Depeche Mode I Won't Say (I'm In Love) - Susan Egan Can't Feel My Face - The Weeknd Only You - Ellie Goulding Devil Devil - Milck Livin' In A World Without You - The Rasmus  

Hate Love - Adelitas Way Suddenly - Peter Heppner Sick and Twisted Affair - My Darkest Days Radioactive Mirrors - Amazinglyjon Dangerous - Cascada Violence (Club Mix) - Grimes & i_o This Is Love - Air Traffic Controller Make Hate To Me - Citizen Soldier Gently Break It - Beck Pete Portrait of a Female - Cruel Youth This Could Be Love - Alkaline Trio Lie, Lie, Lie - Myra You Give Love a Bad Name - Bon Jovi I Only Wanna Be With You - Volbeat Maybe You're Not the Worst Thing Ever - Cast of Galavant I've Got You Under My Skin - Seether Human - Oh Land Le Bien Qui Fait Mal - Mozart, L'Opera Rock Can't Help Falling In Love [Light x Dark Remix] - feat. Brooke Tommee Profitt Fell For You - Green Day Stupid Grin - Dragonette Broken - Lauren Hoffman Take Me to Church - Hozier Super Psycho Love - Simon Curtis Whip - Mr.Kitty   Get You Off - Fefe Dobson Crazy Girl - Ke$ha Vice - POP ETC Cannibal - Silversun Pickups Rest in Peace - Original Cast of Buffy The Vampire Slayer Hem of Your Garment - Cake Tear You Apart - She Wants Revenge Truth Or Dare - Marianas Trench We Sink - CHVRCHES Gingerbread Man - Melanie Martinez You Stupid Girl - Framing Hanley   Die For You - Red F*cking Boyfriend - The Bird & The Bee Mean - Nicole Dollanganger Must Be Crazy for Me - Melissa Etheridge That Girl - Alexz Johnson FMLYHM - Seether Bad Romance - Halestorm Aquarius - Within Temptation Flirt (With Me) - Zeromancer I'm With Stupid - Pet Shop Boys Stop This Song (Love Sick Melody) - Paramore Trying Not To Love You - Nickelback Kill for You - Zolita A Love Like War - All Time Low You Need Me - SWANS Hatef--k - The Bravery Bottled Affection - Cold War Kids True Love - ThouShaltNot Terrible Thing - Ag I Can't Decide - Scissor Sisters Exit Wounds - The Romanovs Gun - Chvrches Every Breath You Take - Chase Holfelder Whole Lotta Love - Smash Mouth Bloodsport - Sneaker Pimps XXX - Imran-C Bitter Rivals - Sleigh Bells Destruction Of Us - Mr.Kitty Teeth - 5 Seconds of Summer Love Me Dead - Ludo Paralyzed - The Used River - Bishop Briggs Neon - VERSA Sucker For Pain - Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa & Imagine Dragons I'm Your Villain - Franz Ferdinand Beautiful Monster - Ne-Yo I Own You - Birgit Let Me Be Your Armor - ASSEMBLAGE 23 Perfect Enemy - t.A.T.u. Straight for the Knife - Sia One More Night - Maroon 5 I Hate You (Don't Leave Me) - Ke$ha The Moth - Aimee Mann Mad Love - The Veronicas Toxic (Acoustic Britney Spears Cover) - Johnny Goth Bad Intentions - Digital Daggers Shut Up - Nick Lachey Soldier - Bitter Ruin First Bad Habit - Vanessa Hudgens In The Darkness - Dead By Sunrise Tearin' Up My Heart - *NSYNC You'll Be Back - Original Broadway Cast of Hamilton & Jonathan Groff Crazy In A Good Way - VERIDIA Combat Baby - Metric In Bluebeard's Castle - Unwoman When Doves Cry - Prince State of Seduction - Digital Daggers Whataya Want From Me - Adam Lambert Broken Inside - Broken Iris Murder (feat. Minx, Chilled) - Boyinaband Why Do You Love Me - Charlotte Lawrence Follow You Home - Nickelback Love To See You Cry - Enrique Iglesias Impressed - Natalie Imbruglia Die For You - Megan McCauley Your Kind (Speak to Me) - Danger Radio Tyrant - The Bravery Violent Games - Polica Toxicated Love - NEO Nemeses (feat. John Roderick) - Jonathan Coulton Miserable - Lit Running From My Shadow - The Velvet Teaparty Barricade - Stars Trouble (Stripped) - Halsey Brutal Hearts - Bedouin Soundclash Desire - Meg Myers Sticks And Stones - The Pierces Just the Girl - The Click Five Himerus and Eros - The Spill Canvas Blood - In This Moment I'm Insane - Myah Marie Fiction (Dreams In Digital) - Orgy Whore - In This Moment Monster - Ryan Adames Foundations - Kate Nash Only When I Lose Myself - Depeche Mode Hatchet - Archive The Beginning of the Twist - The Futureheads Change - Deftones Trust Me - Marc Senter Love Me Hate Kiss Me Kill Me (Scndl Remix) - Fukkk Offf Big Bad Handsome Man - Imelda May The Mighty Fall - Fall Out Boy My Obsession - Cinema Bizarre Stitches - Orgy Miss Kiss Kiss Bang - Alex Swings Oscar Sings! Sweet Dreams - Beyonce Fuel To The Fire - The Maine Closer (Nine Inch Nails Cover) - Niki Barr Band Clueless - Orla Gartland Devil Woman - Cliff Richard Hatefuck - Motionless In White I Love You But I Don’t Like You - Molly Moore Overpower Thee - AUF dER MAUR Get Down On Your Knees And Tell Me You Love Me - All Time Low Post Blue - Placebo Genghis Khan - Miike Snow Poison - Alice Cooper I Know I'm A Wolf - Young Heretics Little Toy Gun - honeyhoney I Miss the Misery - Halestorm Dirty Sticky Floors (radio mix) - Dave Gahan Clarity - Zedd I Get A Kick Out Of You - Frank Sinatra I Hate Myself for Loving You - Joan Jett and the Blackhearts Die for You - Otherwise Labyrinth - Oomph! Black Black Heart - David Usher I Want to Destroy Something Beautiful - Josh Woodward I'm a Priest - Daniel Lavoie You Need Me - SWANS Afraid of the Dark - Phildel Virus - Ryan Adames I Wanna Be Your Dog (remix) - Emilie Simon Hello Goodbye - The Beatles Sarcasm (Album Version) - Get Scared Use Me - Hinder Poison & Wine - The Civil Wars Pretty When You Cry - VAST Tainted Love - Soft Cell Scream - Avenged Sevenfold Think About It - Danger Radio Gallery Piece - Of Montreal Bang Bang Bang Bang - Sohodolls Little Girls - Say Anything I Hate Everything About You - Three Days Grace Love Runs Out - OneRepublic Disarm - Smashing Pumpkins Hit Me Like a Man - The Pretty Reckless Bang Bang (feat. Adam Levine) - K'naan Hurts So Good - John Mellencamp Addicted - Kelly Clarkson Whiplash - FEMM Paralyzer - Finger Eleven Crime - Temposhark Misery Loves Company - Emilie Autumn It Was Good for You Too - Marian Call Price Of Company - The White Tie Affair Burn! - Kobra And The Lotus I Love My Lawyer - Ofelia K I Want Blood - empires (I Always Kill) The Things I Love (ft. The Real Tuesday Weld) - Claudia Brucken Misery (Cutmore Radio) - Maroon 5 Fire and Ice - Pat Benatar I Lust You - Neon Neon Pistol Whipped - Marilyn Manson Bitches Brew - Crosses A Formidable Marinade - Mikelangelo And The Black Sea Gentlemen Control - Puddle of Mudd Scary Love - Skye Sweetnam Loveyouhateyou - Sad Robot Untangle Me - Snow Ghosts A Little Taste - Skyler Stonestreet E.V.O.L - Marina and the Diamonds   (You're the) Devil in Disguise - Elvis Presley Shut Up & Kiss - Me Orianthi Cool for Chaos - Nostalghia Oyeme - Enrique Iglesias I Hate You - Sick Puppies GirlShapedLoveDrug - Gomez You Only Tell Me You Love Me When You're Drunk - Pet Shop Boys Need You Like A Drug - Zeromancer Werewolf - Cat Power Bathwater - No Doubt Bad Dog - Neon Hitch Guns And Horses - Ellie Goulding Rev 22-20 - Puscifer Won't You Please Be Nice - Nellie McKay The Perfect Drug - Nine Inch Nails Until The Day I Die - Story of the Year Womanizer - Britney Spears Build Me Up Buttercup - The Foundations I Think I Love You David Cassidy Stalkers - Mindless Self Indulgence   Kill Me Every Time - Blue Stahli Preface - FKA twigs Every You Every Me - Placebo Want - Disturbed Spit It Out - IAMX Destroy Me - Mr Kitty My Sweet Prince - Placebo Psycho - Imelda May Monster - Meg Myers Figured You Out - Nickelback Suffocated Love - Tricky Satisfy Me One More Time - Frank Sinatra This Love - Maroon 5 Miss Jackson (feat. Lolo) - Panic! At The Disco Fire and Ice - Pat Benatar Every Other Time Lyte - Funky Ones How Do You Love Someone - Ashley Tisdale Poison - Gin Wigmore Bitter and Sick - One Two The Outsider - Marina & the Diamonds True Love (feat Lily Rose Cooper) - Pink Bad Boy - Cascada Irresistible - Temposhark Painkiller - The Queenstons Born to Die / Russian Roulette - Amazinglyjon Like Sugar - Matchbox Twenty Mad About You - Hooverphonic Stupify - Disturbed Problems - Mother Mother What Is Love - Haddaway Animal - The Cab Marionette - Antonia I Hate You But I Love You - Russian Red Carve A Name - Mother Mother Criminal - Britney Spears Danger - Hilary Duff Fell in Love w/an Android - Simon Curtis Demon Lover - Róisín Murphy Always - Saliva Too Close - Alex Clare Little of Your Time - Maroon 5 Sex and Violence - Scissor Sisters Electric Storm - Delta Goodrem Black widow - Susanne Sundfør Dangerous Kind - Rasmus You've Really Got a Hold on Me - The Miracles Over and Over - Three Days Grace Devour - Marilyn Manson Nature of Inviting - IAMX The Odd Couple - Weezer Hurt Me Harder - Zolita Terrible Love - The National Mad Love - Jojo Boomerang - Reliant K Bad News - Sleeper Agent I Was An Island (EP Version) - Allison Weiss Rock Bottom - Hailee Steinfeld You’re the One That I Want - Lo Fang Poison - Rita Ora Kill For You - Skylar Grey ft Eminem Wouldn't Be Love - Ritual Hate Me - Nico Collins Irresistible - Fall Out Boy I Love You... I'll Kill You - Enigma

[daisiesforlacey]

clouds - chapter 2 : cirrus

Pair: Julie x alive!Luke

Summary: After her mother’s death, Julie Molina moved away from Hollywood, across the country, to Ithaca, New York. She’s left behind her two loves in life: her best friend, Luke, and her music. There, she finds new friends and enemies, new experiences and joys, she might even find herself. Every night, Luke calls Julie to talk about the clouds. But what if Luke is hiding something? 

Word Count: 3,344

Warnings: angsty??? I mean we gotta move the story along soooo

Note: I started writing this and it got away from me! I think this series might be longer than originally intended, but that’s not a bad thing. I can’t wait to delve more into Alex, Reggie, and Carrie’s storylines, but for now, here’s this! Please please comment, like, reblog; feedback is always appreciated :)))

Masterlist

Taglist

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The morning had been much chillier than the previous day. On their way to school, Julie and Flynn had bundled up in their favorite sweaters and scarves, along with matching thermoses of tea. Julie had tried to stuff her hair into a wool hat, but after failing miserably, she settled on tying her hair back into a ponytail. Flynn had offered to help style her curls that morning, but she had declined.

The ground next to the sidewalk was blue with frost and they could almost see their breath if they squinted hard enough. 

In Ithaca, the winter was dryer, she had found that her lips chapped more often and she seemed to constantly have the sniffles. In L.A, when it got colder, it mostly rained, snow was far and few between and was never terribly enjoyable; the second it hit the ground it would become this sort of grey sludge. One thing they both shared was the unpredictability. Seeing the sun one day did not often guarantee a warm week, which left Julie to keep an array of coats of different thicknesses. 

There weren’t too many clouds to see, if she tried hard enough, she might be able to make out a flying saucer. She shook her head, spaceships were too easy and basic; anything could be a UFO. 

As they walked and the sun slowly rose, they talked about their upcoming day; if Carrie was going to be tolerable, if they would be getting new music projects, and who was buying lunch.

Luckily for Julie, she could already feel the air warm up, unfortunately, the conversion had shifted to Luke.

“How is your friend? Liam, or whatever?” Flynn asked, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

“Luke,” Julie snorted and looked down at her hands, “He’s doing well, he didn’t see too many shapes yesterday, so our conversation was relatively short.” Flynn knew about their nightly calls, but Julie had left out most of the reason they happened. Flynn didn’t need to know how much she missed her friend, she didn’t want the other girl to feel inadequate. 

“It’s really cool that you guys still keep in touch, if all of my friendships drifted apart that nicely, Carrie…” Flynn drifted off into thought at the mention of Carrie. Contemplating Julie, frowned, she didn’t particularly like to think that she and Luke had drifted, but she supposed they had literally done just that. 

“Well when you have a history like Luke and I have, it’s impossible not to talk to him.” Julie didn’t mention that he seemed to be a part of her that was now missing, or that Luke had this sort of magnetism that drew anyone and everyone to him, or that when they wrote songs together she had felt more alive and seen than anything. 

Those things didn’t need saying, those things had been left in L.A. 

But in here she had Flynn and a small town and a family. 

A broken family, she thought. 

---

As Nick finished his guitar solo, his lacrosse buddies whooped and hollered in the small music room. 

It was smaller than the one back home, but just as welcoming. Cinder block walls had been covered with sound absorbers and music posters ranging from “hang in there” cats to major and minor scales to student made flyers, advertising the school dance coming up. 

Their mascot, a yellow and black cougar, had been painted on the wall by an art club some time ago. It was slightly lopsided and its snarling mouth looked more mangled, but the sentiment was there. 

Julie had zoned out long before Nick had started, staring at the chipped paint on the wall. She knew the second she walked up to the piano to play, she would freeze. No amount of mental preparation could prepare her to set her fingers on the ivory keys and play something, anything. 

“Okay, we have one last performance,” Her teacher said, “Julie.” 

The girl looked up slowly. She stumbled toward the piano with hesitant steps. She sat down with a sigh and opened the sheet music. Her blood was rushing and her head was pounding. The room seemed to blur and spin, but was also eerily still and quiet. 

She could feel the eyes of her classmates boring into her skull. As they watched her, she could guess what they were thinking, here we go again, I wonder if she’ll actually play this time, just get on with it. 

Julie knew that Flynn was trying to encourage her, even from where she was sitting, but she  couldn’t bring herself to look at the girl.

“Take your time,” Her teacher assured. 

Julie might take forever. 

She opened the case of the piano and grazed her fingertips on the keys. They were cold and unforbidding. The second she pressed one of the keys she knew that she would break.

Memories of her mother would come rushing back; every scraped knee, every hand holding in the parking lot, every crush whispered in secret, every night spent over the stove learning what spice goes in when, every uncontrollable fit of laughter. 

She would remember every Christmas and Easter that they would break out her Abuela’s Arroz Con Leche recipe, every concert they went to where they would scream lyrics until their throats were raw. 

Every failed test that her mother had stayed up late to help her study for, every flu shot where her mother still held her hand, no matter how old she got.

Every note written or melody sung would fill her mind. She didn’t know what would happen when it did, and she desperately didn’t want to find out. 

She stood up, “I’m sorry.”

Julie thought she heard Carrie say some snarky remark and that Flynn had retaliated, but she couldn’t have been sure before she was rushing out the door. 

After the school day, Flynn and her walked home as quickly as they could, sometimes sprinting. They needed to beat Julie’s father home after he picked up her brother, Carlos, up from his own school. She was praying that he hadn’t heard the news that she was out of the music program yet. 

She groaned as she saw his car already in the driveway

Flynn quickly hugged her, “It’s fine, he’ll understand.” She withdrew from the hug and held Julie at arms length with a sympathetic smile before they had to part. Flynn waved as she unlocked her front door and stepped inside. 

Julie took a sharp breath in before doing the same.

---

“So is ‘Clocks move faster / cause it’s all were after’ the first pre-chorus or the second pre-chorus?” Reggie ran his fingers through his hair, his nose scrunching, “Because wouldn’t it just make more sense to have the same pre-chorus on each verse?” 

The brunet’s bass was slung over his body as he rested his hands on the body of his guitar. He looked over to Luke, who was crouched over his lyrics. 

Luke shook his head , his air already dripping with sweat, “It’s the second pre-chorus, the first is ‘Clocks move forward / but we don’t get older.’” He semi, sang, strumming along on his guitar. “Changing it up adds movement, we don’t want to bore the listeners. It keeps the theme of staying young at heart.” 

Reggie nodded and plucked at his bass, testing out different rhythms. Moving his hands up the neck and over the strings, he finally settled on some semblance of a tune, repeating it over and over again. 

Alex joined him, adding a hit on each of the beats of the song. This gave the song a drive and pounding rhythm, working with Luke’s line of ‘Electric hammer to the heart.”

Luke stood up after scribbling something and added his guitar part over it, humming along with the melody, and soon they got well into the song, improvising along the way. There were still some wrong chords and off beats, but they had the bones of what they felt like would be a hit. 

Luke had gone from humming to singing, Reggie and Alex joining in. Luke felt his pulse quicken as he grinned. 

“‘We ain’t searchin’ for tomorrow’,” Alex sang, to which Reggie echoed, “‘Cause got all we need today’.”

Luke bopped along, “‘Living on a feeling that’s been running through our veins.”

They looked back and forth to each other, knowing what was coming next.

Reggie was supposed to have a line to end the bridge, but it hadn’t been written yet. Luke had spent hours trying to come up with something, but it just didn’t click, every line he wrote either changed the meaning of the song or was too clumsy.

Luke sighed as they all stopped playing and he cast an apologetic gaze to the bassist, “I’ll get it. I promise.”

The boy in the flannel just shook his head, “No worries bro, we’ve done a lot in,” He checked the clock on the wall and his eyes widened comically. “Five hours…”

This mock practice session had started in Alex’s garage right after school after Luke had presented them with a song at lunch. 

“It’s totally us,” He had said, sliding to the table with a lunch tray and a scribbled mess of paper, beaming, “Totally mid 90’s. And look, you-,” He pointed to Alex who looked excited but skeptical, “Can start the bridge and you-,” Luke turned his attention to Reggie, “Can echo, ending with…” 

Luke trailed off, he didn’t have an ending line yet, he knew it had to be perfect. Everyone knows you can’t end a bridge without a call to action, something that stirred and emotion so deep that you couldn’t help but sing along. 

He sighed as his mouth twisted, “I don’t know, I haven’t found the perfect line yet.” He looked down at his chicken scratch, then slid the paper across to Alex, who examined it. 

“I like it, have you decided where the harmonies should go yet, or nah?” Alex flipped his blond  hair back, after adjusting it in his snapback. He was already trying to decide what type of beats he would do, where the drum fills would be, and what he should consult Reggie on. 

The makeshift band had a process: Luke would write a basic lyric and chord progression and then he would bring it to the guys. From there Alex would come up with the heartbeat of the song with Reggie. Reggie would work with Luke to see what melodies he should be playing and how he and Luke would bounce off of each other.

When they came together, the three friends would look at who sang what, harmonies, and fill in the gaps in the music. They worked like a well oiled machine

But lunch had been 7 hours ago and it was now 8 o’clock, well past when Luke should have been home. The boy jumped as he looked outside, saw it was dark, and cursed under his breath. He quickly put his guitar on his stand and grabbed his book bag, then ran out with a wave to Reggie and Alex.

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow, if I’m still alive,” he called before getting on his bike and going home. 

The air was damp and it had just rained, making the pavement slippery. Despite being almost winter, the weather was warm enough to where he only had to put on a shirt and jeans to be comfortable.

On his way to his house, Luke looked to the sky. He cataloged some shapes of dark clouds, moose, cat, spaceship, he thought. He chucked to himself, anything could be a space ship, it wasn’t creative enough, all the cloud had to be was somewhat circular. 

His mind drifted to Julie and what she would have to say about these clouds. She would probably smile, her adorable gap showing, and tell him all of the wonderful odd shapes she would see. 

“There, right there, a cat chasing a dog,” She would say, “No, no, scratch that, a dog chasing a cat chasing a pigeon. Wait sorry, a shark without a back fin. Or maybe a line of ducklings crossing a street.” Then she would narrow her eyes as the clouds shifted and formed new images, “Well now I don’t know what I see.” 

Luke would then look over and tell her that everything she saw was amazing, even if it was truly unremarkable. She was always able to see things he couldn’t, even if it was something as menial as a cloud. She could look at him and know exactly what was wrong no matter what; he didn’t know if she was truly super powered, or if he was super transparent. 

Which was why he was glad she couldn’t see him on their calls. 

She knew about Reggie and Alex, they had met before she left, but she didn’t know that they played music together. She didn’t know that Luke was writing songs with them like he used to with her. He didn’t want her to feel replaced.

And as far as she knew, his parents were completely fine with his music. They may have had little gripes here and there, but she thought that was the extent of it. 

As he arrived at his house and opened the front door, that wasn’t the case at all.

“Lucas Patterson!” His mother yelled from the kitchen, “Do you have any idea what time it is!”

Luke winced as she ran into the living room, wiping her hands on a dish towel. He could see that the dining room table had already been cleared and the leftovers put away. 

“It is 8:14! Would you like to tell me why the hell you missed dinner again for the third time this week? No wait! I bet I know! Let me guess, you were at Alex’s!” Her eyes were steel. It wasn’t a question, they both knew the only thing that would keep him out at night would be music with the guys. 

He gripped the strap of his back pack before looking at the floor, his knuckles white. “I’m sorry Mom. I just lost track of time, you know how I get.”

Emily smoothed her brow with her fingers as her husband walked in from the kitchen. “At least tell me you did your homework.” 

Luke didn’t answer.

His mom threw the dish towel to the floor, “Luke we had a deal! You can keep playing your guitar and going to ‘band practice,’” She used air quotes, “As long as you did your homework before then and always made it home for dinner. Always! Your family and school work is important! I know you don’t think so, but as long as you live under our roof, you abide by our rules!”

He threw his hands up and scoffed, “I’m not going to stop playing music, it’s my life! And you can’t stop me! I am sorry if I miss a few family dinners a week, but isn’t that fine if it means I’m happy?” 

His mother looked at him like he had sprouted another head, “Son, I know it’s been hard ever since Julie left, and I know you miss her but--”

“But what Mom? There’s nothing I can do about it, she’s in New York! And the only thing keeping me connected to her is music, and right now, you don’t even let me have that.” Luke stormed through the living room into his room. 

He dropped his bag down with a thunk, and sat on his bed, smashing his head into a pillow and screaming. He regretted that he didn’t bring his guitar back, if only to take out his anger by shredding on volume 10. 

The day kept getting later, and while he didn’t like calling her while angry, he dialed Julie’s phone number. 

The phone rang a couple times before she picked up, “Hello, this is Her Majesty Queen Julie Molina, what is your concern peasant?” She said in a haughty voice, before her façade broke with a giggle.

“Well Your Highness, I have come to discuss today’s weather.” He replied, playing along, her voice instantly making him feel better.

“Today we have seen a couch, a baby, and many many trees.”

“I have also seen many trees; they are very common in the sky.” Luke laughed, “I may have also spotted a suitcase and an umbrella. Sadly my Queen, the rain made it quite hard to see too many shapes.”

Julie clicked her tongue, he could see her face now, her nose scrunched and her mouth down turned, “That is a downright shame. Is there any news to report?’”

Luke perked up at that and rushed to get the words out of his mouth, “Actually, yeah. I wrote a song, ‘Now or Never,’ and it’s actually not that bad. Except I can’t figure out this one line, and it’s been bugging me all day.” He huffed, “Do you wanna hear it?”

She replied just as giddy as he is, “Of course!”

The brunet then launched into singing an a cappella version of his song from memory, stopping here or there to say things such as, “A harmony would totally go here,” or “Add a little guitar riff and it’d be perfect.” 

He kept going until, “‘Living on a feeling that’s been running through our veins’. And then of course another line, and then the chorus.” He was staring at his popcorn ceiling now, smiling like a kid in a candy shop. 

Julie paused, then said, “We’re the revolution that’s been singing in the rain.” 

“What?”

“That’s it, that’s your missing lyric.”

Luke froze, she really couldn’t get any more perfect.

“Queen Julie, you are a genius!” He jumped off of his bed to grab a scrap of paper off of his messy desk before writing down the lyric. “You songwriting genius! If you have stuff like that flowing through your brain, how aren’t you playing it?”

He didn’t mean to bring it up, it just sort of happened. But it was true, how could she be so good at writing and let it go to waste?

Julie cleared her throat, “Well actually--”

“You sang again? I knew it, I knew you would!” Luke cut her off.

“Well no,” She rushed out, he could already see her running her hand over her face in exasperation. He has to stop interrupting people. “I got kicked out of the music program. I haven’t played anything since I got here, and I couldn't either today. I guess that was the last straw, because my teacher called my dad and said that unless I could play something by the end of the week, I need to choose a new elective.”

They sat in silence. 

Luke played with his hands, knitting his fingers together and pulling them apart before an idea came to him, “What about your mom’s song. Not for class I mean! But, if just to sit down at your piano again and play something, what about that? She wrote it for you after all. And then maybe afterwards you’d be good to play for your class and boom! You’re Julie, songwriting pianist extraordinaire again!”

“I-I don’t know about that, Luke,” She swallowed. Right before her mom passed, they had written a song together, but she hasn’t even been able to look at it since she moved. If she sat down to play it, she’d be accepting all of those memories back. But then again, if she needed to sing anything it would be her mother’s song. They had taken a few months to write it, and Julie’s mom had completed it before…

“I mean maybe. I’ll see. I’ll try.” Julie nodded to herself and gave a determinant look to her wall. Tomorrow morning she would go to her garage and play her mother's song.

“You promise?” Luke asked tentatively. 

“I promise.”

“Alright. I guess I should go, it’s probably pretty late where you are. I’ll see you soon?”

Julie nodded, “See you soon.” Then hung up.

[writersrealmbts]

Frosted Glass: Part 3

Description: Yoongi is in love with the princess of another land, and he’s given the opportunity to court her, with the help of his brothers. You are the princess of the country south of the frozen kingdom, but you’ve gotten a deadly disease and your only home is to venture and live in the icy north. Will Yoongi be able to win your hand with the help of his brothers?

Warnings: N/A

Posted: 02/06/2020

Tags: Yoongi x reader, Prince!Yoong, Prince!Jaebum, Prince!Yesung, Prince!Yeonjun, Prince!Hwall, Frost Prince, Jack Frost! Yoongi

1,315 words

A/N: Next part tomorrow since I have a long weekend!

Yoongi watched y/n talk brightly with Eira, his soon to be sister-in-law. They appeared to be getting along famously.

“I thought you said she was considered the second-prettiest daughter?” Hyunjoon asked, joining him and Jaebum.

Yoongi shrugged. “That’s what her people say. I always thought she was prettier than her sisters.”

“I’ve seen her oldest sister before, when she passed through with the king she married. You cannot tell me that she is considered the prettiest.” Jaebum arched an eyebrow at Yoongi.

Yoongi shrugged again.

Jaebum shook his head. “Strange.”

Yeonjun came over with Yesung. “So, what’s the plan? How do we get her and Yoongi-hyung together?”

“Well, the obvious start would be to have them spend as much time as we can manage to throw them together for,” Hyungjoon said, folding his arms.

Yesung nodded as well. “Shouldn’t be difficult to get them time together, I’m more concerned about him blowing it.”

Yoongi looked at the floor, using his shoe to break up the frost that was spreading around him.

Hyunjoon laughed softly. “Aw, he’s nervous!”

“Be careful, Hwall. You may be laughing now, but when it’s your turn with a woman, Yoongi-hyung could very well make your life miserable,” Jaebum warned. “He remembers everything.”

Yesung nodded slowly.

Yeonjun tugged on Yoongi’s arm. “So, hyung, how are you going to woo her?”

“Well, I offered to show her the town once she was well enough, and I figure I could regularly offer to show her around. Jaebum-ah, you’re going to have to pretend to be interested at least.”

“That shouldn’t be hard,” Jaebum replied, looking over with a certain amount of admiration that made Yoongi want to punch his brother. “She seems friendly enough. I’ll see if I can find out anything that would help you.”

Alright, he wouldn’t punch him. But he might make sure his bath was freezing if there was any sort of overstepping. The princes preferred cold in everything but bathing and sleeping. They could stand it, but even Yesung—who was probably the most powerful of the frost princes as the oldest—would be grumpy if his bath was cold, or he had to sleep in a bed that was anything but the perfect temperature. Even Eira brightened and curled up near the hearth sometimes, and she pouted that her room was too cold the first night she slept in the castle.

“I hope she has enough warm clothing,” Yeonjun said softly, looking worriedly over at her after she had sneezed. “It’s cold in the castle, especially for a human.”

“We will ensure that she has everything that she needs to be comfortable, or rather, Yoongi will. Right, little brother?” Yesung was smirking.

Yoongi nodded. “One step at a time, though. First, we make her feel welcome—”

“Because she really is? It was getting boring around here,” Yeonjun sighed.

Yoongi sighed at the interruption but nodded. “Yes. Second, I try to spend as much time as possible with her without overwhelming her. Third, we make sure her and Eira don’t fight because damn, they’re already talking like they’re old friends.”

The other boys followed his gaze to where the two women were whispering before bursting into giggles that they obviously tried to suppress and keep quiet.

“And Yesung…” Eira’s voice carried over just enough to bring the eldest’s name before it was lowered into a whisper again, saying something that had Y/n laughing unashamedly, not bothering trying to conceal it any longer.

Yoongi and his younger brothers tried not to laugh at the partially shocked and partially terrified look on Yesung’s face.

“Why are they talking about me?” He asked, probably himself, but since his brothers were there….

“They’re probably talking about how awkward you are,” Hyunjoon offered.

“Or your cravat being crooked,” Jaebum said.

“Or how awkward you were when you went up into the ice mountains to try and find a wife before Eira took pity on your awkward soul and approached you first and subsequently had you wrapped around her little finger despite also deferring to you as her future king,” Yoongi added, keeping a straight face.

His younger brothers started laughing uncontrollably at the offended look the eldest gave Yoongi.

Yoongi shrugged. “Sorry, hyung.”

Yesung huffed and walked away, soon joined by Eira who had a happy sort of white glow to her now and seemed to quickly set him at ease.

Yoongi watched them together, grateful that his brother had been so lucky in finding her. He deserved someone who could take his cares and worries away so easily, especially as the future king.

Yeonjun was already taking a seat in a chair near y/n, picking up the conversation he had started at dinner. Asking about summer festivals instead.

“Well, what sort of festivals do you all have in the warmer seasons?” She asked instead, smiling at Yoongi as he joined as well.

“Well, there’s the Spring celebration…the snow melts for a few weeks and it helps all the animals during birthing season, and flowers pop up.”

Her eyes widened. “A…few weeks? How do you grow food?”

“There’s more magic here than anywhere else on the island, but most of our food grows despite the snow,” Yoongi explained when Yeonjun looked a little lost for words. “We also have an active trade system on the coast, and with your country, for other foods.”

She nodded, but she still looked distracted. Like a curtain had been pulled in front of her. She looked ill.

“Y/n? Are you well?” He asked gently, worried. He didn’t want her to be sick any longer.

“Yes, um, I think I should retire for the evening.”

“I’ll make sure the maids build up your fire, it is supposed to get very cold this eve,” Yoongi told her. “Do you have enough blankets, do you think?”

She nodded, standing and dropping an appropriate curtsy. “Thank you, I believe I do.”

“Then rest well, Princess,” He said, bowing, probably more than he should have.

Yeonjun looked at him in confusion after she had gone. “What happened? She was fine.”

“I think…we reminded her that she would not be experience summers or springs as she knew them anymore. The problem with Yeolbing Fever is that if she’s exposed to a warmer environment for excessive periods of time, she will fall ill again. And it will be worse. She must live in our country to survive, and we reminded her that she left much behind. At least, I think that is what happened.” Yoongi looked away, out the window and into the cloudy night.

“I will check on her tomorrow, when we dine together. I am certain she will enjoy living here, once she is accustomed,” Eira said brightly. “And we must remember she probably is not accustomed to magic as we are.”

“True, she is very much human while we…are something a little different. It may be quite a lot to wrap her mind around,” Yesung said. “I have some work to do. Good night, brothers. Goodnight, Eira.”

“My prince,” She replied softly. “Walk me to my rooms?”

Yesung smiled, shooting a glare at Yeonjun and Hyunjoon who were pretending to gag.

“Remember, no little snow-babies until after the wedding!” Hyungjoon called after them, getting hit upside the head by Yoongi and Jaebum for doing so.

Yoongi excused himself a while later, heading outside and carefully to her window, painting a new scene in the frost, noticing the glow from behind the curtains that suggested she was still awake. He tried to make his design extra pretty since he’d made her uncomfortable. Like an apology.

He hoped she liked it, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to see her reaction to it since he had to ride out early the next morning for a sort of patrol.

–

Previous.  Next.

Masterlist.  Yoongi Masterpost.

Tagging: @alex–awesome–22​  @bryvada​  @missmoxxiesworld​  @knjhe​ @agustdgeniuslab​

(Please remember to comment on the Taglist masterpost if you want to be tagged)

[tulipsandtesseracts]

Day 9: Storm (Carry On Series, Snowbaz)

Dec 1: Cozy (Carry On Series, Snowbaz) Dec 2: Ribbon (Carry On Series, Snowbaz) Dec 3: Red (Red White & Royal Blue, Alex x Henry) Dec 4: Light (Frozen, Elsa and Anna) Dec 5: Mistletoe (Carry On Series, Snowbaz) Dec 6: Icicle (Red White & Royal Blue, Alex x Henry) Dec 7: Warmth (Carry On Series, Snowbaz) Day 8: Comfort (Stargate SG-1, Cassie and Teal’c)

I am a bit behind. Just pretend it is still December 9. (Also, 100%: I posted a tiny Stargate ficlet and had to go freak out a little bit.) This is not the fic I meant to write, but Baz would not cooperate when I just wanted him to magic up a stupid snowstorm? So instead there is this which is more post-Wayward Son found family stuffs.

Day 9: Storm (Carry On Series, Snowbaz)

I’d planned to have a peaceful afternoon catching up on some reading before Simon got home from his shift at his new job. And it had started that way, before Fiona called, and Mordelia texted, and Bunce needed to verbally process her plans for the rest of her life prior to leaving the flat for the evening.

Simon should be home any minute now. He’ll be tired after handling customers all day, though, so I probably have another hour or so to read while he watches some show or other to decompress.

I continue to labor under this illusion right up until Snow bursts through the door of the flat, storms across the living room, and throws himself onto the couch with such force that I can feel the bounce of it from the opposite end. I glance up from my book and make note of his red face and his disordered hair, which is pointing in several different directions at once in a way it only does when someone’s been tugging their hands through the curls.

Since I’ve been sitting here reading for the last hour, I can only assume Simon’s turned his hair into a bird’s nest himself.

From the far end of the couch, he cocks an eyebrow in an aggressive way that I often regret teaching him. I shrug in response and return to my book. “Lovely day at work, I take it,” I say, keeping his voice level. Casual. Bored.

Simon snorts. “The shop was fine,” he says.

“Hmm,” I reply, turning to the next page. “Holiday rush?”

“Not much yet.”

I nod. “Bunce said to tell you she’ll be at the library this evening, and you’re to do the dishes.”

Simon lets out a sound that falls somewhere between a groan and a shout.

“It’s just the dishes, Snow.”

“Cut it out, Baz. You don’t have to coddle me.”

Direct questions rarely yield useful information when Snow’s in a mood like this. I know it. Simon knows it. Simon knows I know it. There’s a great deal of knowing it’s true and very little to be done about it. Usually the roundabout path is the better one, but it seems Simon’s not in the mood for it tonight.

“All right, then.” This was definitely not the evening I expected, but then again, things rarely are when Snow’s involved. I set my book down on the coffee table. “What’s got into you, exactly? If we were back at Watford, you’d have smoke coming out of your ears, and I’d be worried you were about to burn the tower down.”

“Lady Salisbury stopped in at the shop.”

Ah. That would explain the mood - the long-lost and newly-devoted grandmother. (And hadn’t that been a shock to everyone concerned when it had come to light this fall?) “She probably came in person because you never answer your phone. Which, as your boyfriend, I can assure you is quite annoying.”

Simon kicks the table leg. “You’re quite annoying.”

“My life-long goal.” I pause, then try again. “I assume she wasn’t just calling in to say hello.”

Snow drags his fingers through his hair, and yes, that’s definitely why it looks the way it does right now. “She wants me to come visit on Saturday,” he says at last. “Said she’s ‘having a few friends in for dinner.’ And my uncle.”

“And?”

“And what?” He kicks at the table leg again, but it’s softer this time. “I couldn’t very well tell her no to her face, could I?”

To be honest, I’m surprised he didn’t. “Not without becoming the main gossip at the club,” I say, considering. “Magickal society loves a good family rift.”

“The club,” he scoffs. “Last summer they’d all but forgotten I exist. Except your parents, who we both know wish they could. But I’m a Salisbury now, so suddenly everybody cares?”

I don’t say anything to that. He’s not wrong, but we’ve been round and round this track before. It doesn’t go anywhere.

“And how is it a rift when I was never really family in the first place?” he goes on, still properly worked up.

“Don’t coddle you?” I ask. “Are you sure about that?”

He makes a face and then shrugs. “That’s what I said.”

I sigh, then I scoot down the couch to sit closer to him. “Simon, you avoid her, you don’t take her calls, and when Dr. Wellbelove first introduced you, you ran out of the room like you had goblins to slay.”

“Slaying goblins was easier. I don’t even know how to have a family.”

He’s still grumpy. But when he moves, it’s to close the rest of the gap between us, pressing his shoulder up against mine.

It’s a miracle we are having this conversation, I remind myself. That he’s not just in his bedroom lying down with the curtains drawn, or sitting here next to me, not touching, not talking, not living. The fact that he’s not yet noticed he’s been here with Bunce and myself these last few years, having the best approximation of a functioning family we can give him, is best left for another day.

“You smile at the ones you hate,” I say instead, “and make fun of the ones you like. It’s not that difficult.”

“I don’t think normal people do family like you and your aunt.”

I wave a hand. “Well, you can run around tripping over each other and trying to steal the best books for yourself, if you want to use the Bunce model.”

“Not for books,” he says. “Maybe if it were scones instead.”

“I’ll fight Bunce for the books, then.” I tap my foot against his. “If she were here, she’d say something optimistic. That Lady Salisbury means well, or some rot like that.”

“Except she’d say it while telling me what to wear and which fork to eat with.”

I can’t help myself. “See, you do know what it’s like to have a family.”

He smiles, just a bit. “Penny’s not here. What do you say?”

“Lady Salisbury means well.”

“Baz.”

“It’s a nice house,” I offer. “No wraiths, so it’s better than visiting my parents.”

“Also, she actually wants me there.”

“Also that.” I lay my hand on his leg, palm up, and wait for him to take it. “Go see your grandmother,” I say when he does. “If it’s miserable we’ll go to the pub when you get home. If it’s not, you can take me for baked goods in the morning. You win either way.”

He nods, then leans sideways to look out the window. “Maybe we’ll get snowed in.” He frowns as though he can manifest snowflakes himself. He turns back to me. “Can we get snowed in?”

“The forecast is clear as a bell through next week, sadly.”

He squeezes my hand. “You have a magic wand!”

“Weather magic’s dangerous, Simon,” I say in my best Penelope Bunce voice.

He cracks up laughing, his morose mood gone just like that.

I’ll never completely understand, but I don’t really care. I’m just glad to see his smile.

“I’m hungry,” he says, when he’s calmed down again.

“You’re always hungry.”

“It’s your fault for talking about pastries. Did Penny really say the thing about the dishes?”

I roll my eyes. “Yes, Snow.”

“Will you help?”

I shove his leg with my foot before sliding back to the other end of the couch and retrieving my book. “Go do your chores, Chosen One. Then we’ll find you dinner.”

“All right.” He gets up and heads for the kitchen. “I like that plan.”

So do I.

[snarkandsarcasmftw]

Fake Fic Title: Hot Chocolate Mustache

OKAY SO.... I’ve been reading @rampagewriting amazing fic Don’t Fear The Reaper, ( x click it, you won’t regret it ) and it inspired me to write this.. It’s just kinda... My own thoughts as to what might be going through Alex and Chibs’ minds at some point during the story. I asked @rampagewriting if it was alright if I wrote this, I just really hope that everyone likes it... Even though it came out a little bit angsty (there’s kinda tentative flirting her too, sorry I couldn’t give you Chibs lap like you did for Opie! I wanted this to fit Alex as closely as it could to the way you see her.) Anyway... So this is me, attempting to write a thing for Sons of Anarchy. And this isn’t the last you’re going to see of SOA on my blog, either.

TAGGING: @rampagewriting | @andie01 | @vonschweetz -- I didn’t tag many people this time because Idk who out of my followers likes SOA and there’s no one listed on my tag list doc for that category.

more fake fic titles | faq | add yourself to my tag list | 

“It doesn’t feel like Christmas.” Alex took a sip of the hot chocolate she’d just gotten, wincing a little at the burn as she sat down between Opie and Jax. 

“This is California. I mean if you’re expectin snow, then you’re shit outta luck.” Opie laughed as he watched his kids playing, trying to engate Layla in a game of tag. Nodding towards her, Alex mused aloud, “Guess we all know who you’ll be kissing under the mistletoe, Winston.”

“Possibly.” Opie shrugged and eyed Alex. Jax cleared his throat and spoke up. “ You almost sound jealous there, kid.”

“For the last time, Jax.. It is Alex. Or Alexandra. Or X. I’m not a kid anymore.” Alex took a few more sips before she added quickly, “And for the record, no. I’m not jealous. What the hell are you implying, Jax?”

“Oh, just that I’m not blind.” Jax smirked and chuckled as he shook his head when Chibs made his way into the garage and naturally, Alex’s eyes darted straight for the man. Oh, he wasn’t crazy about it, but Chibs wasn’t the worst guy out there.

… no one ever wants family to willingly marry into this shit though… look what happened to Donna earlier this year… Jax ignored the thought in favor of clearing his throat and nodding to Opie over Alex’s shoulder. “We gotta roll. Go see a man about a thing.”

“Yeah, you two do that. No explosions though!” Alex called out to her brothers and she went back to sipping her hot chocolate, eyes darting over the newspaper. She didn’t have to look up from the newspaper to know she’d find Chibs sitting next to her. She could just sort of sense him lurking there, feel the weight of his stare.

“What’s up?” Alex couldn’t bring herself to look over at the Scottish biker. Not when what she’d done not too long ago still burned in her mind every single time she did. Or she’d think about how it felt, sitting there in that dingy hospital room, holding his hand while he was out. 

If he’d heard a single thing she said, oh man… That thought had her sighing and shaking her head at herself. What she needed to do was get a grip. People were starting to pick up on the tension between them entirely too easy now and Alex didn’t want Chibs to think she didn’t think of him as a friend any longer.

Chibs stared at the bottle in front of him and cleared his throat. He almost said something, but all he could do was stare.. And remind himself again for the millionth time why anything between them was not a good idea, no matter how bad he wanted that very thing. 

But he had to say something. Try to explain himself. Try to tell her why he’d been scarce lately, why things felt so strained. He dragged a hand through his hair and nodded to the newspaper. “Dinnae think yah wanted t’ be bloody depressed. Dat’s what’ll come of y�� readin ‘at.” 

… Fuck, that was about the lamest bloody thing y’ could’ve said, Filip… he even wanted to cringe at himself. Alex shrugged and looked up at him and the second he saw the hot chocolate over her lip, he gulped and tried to pull his eyes away.

This was so awkward and so much harder than it had to be already.

But he couldn’t. He reached out, tearing away a paper towel and leaned in closer to her, dabbing the stiff paper at her upper lip as he muttered, “Yah had a hot chocolate mustache, X.”

“Okay?” Alex eyed him, hoping to God he didn’t pick up on the way her breath hitched at the touch or the way that for a split second, even as his rough hand and the rough paper towel moved over her skin, she was thinking about that night and how good it was going before he ran out on it all and that yeah, maybe her eyes fluttered open and shut for a tenth of a second. She coughed to cover her own sudden tension and when he reached over, taking her cup, she followed the movement of cup to lip with her eyes, swallowing hard.

The fact that she’d declared her love for the man when he wasn’t conscious was taunting her, daring her to do something, to be brave this once but then she thought about him bolting and sighed, going quiet. Mostly in sheer frustration.

They barely managed to be around one another now without this extreme layer of tension lingering awkwardly. Yet neither of them really mentioned anything. And both pretended that nothing was wrong.

Everything was wrong. Everything.

Alex’s sigh had Chibs swallowing hard as he held the cup back out to her, nose wrinkled. “Et’s too damn sweet, X.” 

“You seriously just took my hot cocoa to drink and now you’re complaining about it being too sweet?” Alex gave a soft laugh and Chibs shrugged, a smirk tugging his lips upward, making her stare at them a little harder.

She took the paper towel and leaned in, dabbing it over his mouth. “Someone wants to talk about my mustache. Yours was worse, Filip.”

“Was et now?” Chibs was leaning in a little more, heart hammering away like it was going to burst right out of his chest cavity. He licked his lips and chuckled. “I doubt it.” his tone was lower, huskier. When he raised his hand, Alex swallowed hard and for a second she thought maybe he’d kiss her.

“I miss th’ way it used to be.”

Alex nodded, pushing down everything she really wanted to let out at the moment. “Me too.” she kept it short and simple. Maybe it was for the best. Maybe it had to be this way. The last thing everyone needed was yet more tension in the club.

… but what about what I want and need, damn it?....

Chibs eyed her, a concerned look. Her tone had been flat, almost hollow. He sighed and shook his head, taking a sip from his own bottle as he grimaced at the mix of alcohol and cocoa in his mouth. “Do y’ really?”

Alex took a deep breath and coaxed herself into a more convincing voice when she answered. “I really do. I’m just kind of not feeling today.”

“Ah, neither am I.” Chibs admitted, staring at her lips for a few seconds. What he wouldn’t do to just kiss her right now. To throw caution out the window and just let go.

… but letting go may not be d’ best thing… there’s the club and there’s what happened t’ Donna and y’ know you’d die if it happened t’ X… Luckily for both of them, Tig called Chibs over before things could get any further tension filled. Chibs told her that he’d see her  later at the club house and Alex nodded, trying not to stare at him as he walked away, but failing miserably. When he was deep in conversation with Tig, she sighed and put down the newspaper, standing. 

Maybe if she got away from here, went to talk to Gemma or something.. She just knew from all that transpired just now that things couldn’t go back to the way they had been.. They could only blossom or die.

Personally, Alex wasn’t willing to risk finding out. Not when Chibs obviously didn’t return her feelings. His actions just now, while more than she expected, were a perfect wake up call.. She had to try and work around everything she felt or she had to continue avoiding him.

Tig eyed Alex leaving and he remarked with a shrug, “Seems like you two barely talk anymore.”

“Don’t bloody start wit’ me, Trager. Tell me what y’ wanted.”

“We have an errand.” Tig answered and Chibs nodded, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it up. “Well then. Let’s get t’ it.” 

He watched Alex leaving the garage and he sighed to himself. He couldn’t just keep everything he felt in much longer. Just now, he’d been dangerously close to caving.

Maybe avoiding her for now was the best thing for both of them.

[stanfordsenbyhusband]

So uh here's my newest f/o

I'm now shipping myself with a character from a 70s christmas special you know the funny thing about me shipping with the snow miser is that I hate cold weather a lot but hey I'll just bundle up and he'll have to deal with my body heat (he actually doesn't really mind my body heat surprisingly)

Anyways he's a silly little guy and I love him <3

Pro.shippers/com.shippers DNI please

[blood-sucking-freaks]

Sad Songs

- Paralyzed by NF

- All Too Well by Taylor Swift

- Wait by NF

- I Found by Amber Run

- Sorry by Halsey

- Say Something by A Great Big World

- Say Something by Pentatonix (originally by A Great Big World)

- The Night We Met by Lord Huron

- I’ll Be Good by Jaymes Young

- Stone Cold by Demi Lovato

- Amnesia by 5 Seconds Of Summer

- All I Want by Kodaline

- The World Is Ugly by My Chemical Romance

- The Light Behind Your Eyes by My Chemical Romance

- The Forgotten by Green Day

- Broken Home by 5 Seconds Of Summer

- Brother by Falling In Reverse

- Invisible by 5 Seconds Of Summer

- Day Is Gone by Noah Gundersen

- Lights by BattleMe

- Hey Hey, My My by BattleMe

- Come Join The Murder by The White Buffalo

- Family by Noah Gundersen

- Call Me by Shinedown

- Be Alright by Dean Lewis

- Little Do You Know by Alex & Sierra 

- Roslyn by Bon Iver

- Save Myself by Ed Sheeran

- Supermarket Flowers by Ed Sheeran

- Through The Ghost by Shinedown

- Miserable At Best by Mayday Parade

- Angles by Khalid

- Coaster by Khalid

- Tess-Timony by Ice Nine Kills

- Millenia (acoustic) by Crown The Empire

- As Real As You And Me by Rihanna

- Saturn by Sleeping At Last

- All About Me by New Medicine

- We Are Broken by Paramore

- Happier by Ed Sheeran

- Already Gone by Sleeping At Last

- Safe & Sound by Taylor Swift

- Atlas: Touch by Sleeping At Last

- Funeral Bell by Phildel

- Half A Man by Dean Lewis

- Goodbye by Cage The Elephant

- Breathe by Taylor Swift ft. Colbie Caillat

- See You Again by Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth

- Shrike by Hozier

- Slow It Down by The Lumineers

- Skinny Love by Birdy

- Not About Angels by Birdy

- Possibility by Lykke Li

- Heart Of Stone by Iko 

- So Cold by Ben Cocks

- Wait by M83

- Waving Through A Window by Ben Platt

- End Of You And Me by B O O T H

- Last Kiss by Taylor Swift

- Vale (This Is Where It Ends) by Black Veil Brides

- Leave A Light On by Tom Walker

- The Doctor Said by Chloe Adams

- Skyscraper by Demi Lovato

- Remembering Sunday by All Time Low

- I Almost Do by Taylor Swift

- Cancer by My Chemical Romance

- Six Feet Under by Billie Eilish

- How To Save A Life by The Fray

- The Last Time by Taylor Swift ft. Gary Lightbody

- Impossible Year by Panic! At The Disco

- Friend, Please by Twenty One Pilots

- Before You Start Your Day by Twenty One Pilots

- Truce by Twenty One Pilots

- Chasing Cars by Sleeping At Last (originally by Snow Patrol)

- Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

- New Year’s Day by Taylor Swift

- Mercy (acoustic) by Shawn Mendes

- Demons by Imagine Dragons

- What A Catch, Donnie by Fall Out Boy

- Good Enough by Cimorelli

- Another Empty Bottle by Katy McAllister

- Human by Christina Perri

- Stay With Me by Sam Smith

- Therapy by All Time Low

- All The Angels by My Chemical Romance

- I Believe by Christina Perri

- Unsteady by X Ambassadors

- In My Veins by Andrew Belle

- “Read All About It, Pt. 2″ by Emeli Sande

- Hurts Like Hell by Fleurie

- Brother by Kodaline

- Small Bump by Ed Sheeran

- Believe by Hollywood Undead

- Pour Me by Hollywood Undead

- Rain by Hollywood Undead

- All Of The Stars by Ed Sheeran

- Million Reasons by Lady Gaga

- Heaven’s Gate by Fall Out Boy

- Titanium by Madilyn Bailey

- Early Sunsets Over Monroeville by My Chemical Romance

- Forever Young by Audra Mae And The Forest Rangers

- The A Team By Ed Sheeran

- Let I Go by James Bay

- Whatsername by Green Day

- March To The Sea by Twenty One Pilots

- Too Good At Goodbyes by Sam Smith

- Home by Machine Gun Kelly

- Praying by Cimorelli (originally by Kesha)

- How To Save A Life by Tyler Ward (originally by The Fray)

- White Horse by Taylor Swift

- Give Me Love by Ed Sheeran

- Friends by Ed Sheeran

- It’s Not Over by Secondhand Serenade

- Waves by Dean Lewis

- You’re Nor Sorry by Taylor Swift

- Invisible by Taylor Swift

- Golden by Fall Out Boy

- Done For You by Black Veil Brides

- All Too Well by Against The Current (originally by Taylor Swift)

- I’ll Always Remember You by Hannah Montana 

- A Perfectly Good Heart by Taylor Swift

- Cold As You by Taylor Swift

- Too Young by Sabrina Carpenter

- Stay The Same by Mayday Parade

- Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade

- If I Die Young by The Band Perry

- Savior by Black Veil Brides

- Sad Beautiful Tragic by Taylor Swift

- You Found Me by The Frays

-  Lie To Me by 5 Seconds Of Summer

- Ghost Of You by 5 Seconds Of Summer

- Close As Strangers by 5 Seconds Of Summer

- Honest by Mali-Koa

- My Love by Sia

- Beside You by 5 Seconds of Summer

- White Lie by The Lumineers

- Boulevard Of Broken Dreams by Scott Bradlee’s Post Modern Jukebox (originally by Green Day)

- Hold Onto Me by Mayday Parade

- Terrible Things by Mayday Parade

- In The Mourning by Paramore

- Hate To See Your Heartbreak by Paramore

- Outside by Hollywood Undead

- From The Ground by Hollywood Undead

- Make It Rain by Ed Sheeran

- Walls by The Lumineers

- Mars by Sleeping At Last

- Oh Lord by NF

- Footprints by Molly Kate Kestner

- Gale Song by The Lumineers

- The Kids From Yesterday by My Chemical Romance

-. When The Darkness Comes by Colbie Caillat

- Never Grow Up by Taylor Swift

- Lead Me Out Of The Dark by Crown The Empire

- Do I Wanna Know by Hozier (originally by The Arctic Monkeys)

- Hold Me While You Wait by Lewis Capaldi

- Dust To Dust by The Civil Wars

- Drown by Tyler Joseph

- Rehab by Machine Gun Kelly

- Cold by Aqualung 

- Time Stops by Starbenders

[stardusttkachuk-main]

Night In

Title: Night In

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Characters: Sam, Dean, Reader, OFC (L)

Word Count: 670

Warnings: mild talk of periods, crap fic because I suck

Prompt: The Year Without A Santa Claus

Summary: Y/N, Sam, Dean and Dean’s girlfriend (L) all spend a night watching one of the oddest Christmas movies out there. After leaving, Sam suggests a little movie night of their own.

A/N: Okay, so this is a very rushed drabble but the fic I had planned for today just did not want to be written and I didn’t want to leave y’all without a fic. I will be posting two fics tomorrow to make up for this rushed job. So there will be 26 fics this Christmas, just deal with it.

This is Day 22 of 25 Days of Christmas. Check out the full masterlist here!

The holly jolly tune of “The Year Without A Santa Claus” rang through the speakers in Dean’s room. He sat on the edge of the bed, his girlfriend sitting right next to him. You planted yourself between your best friend and Sam, leaning into Sam’s shoulder.

“This is the best idea we’ve ever had,” you said, turning to your best friend and she nodded in agreement.

“Especially… now,” L laughed, watching as Dean scrunched up his nose.

“It’s still weird that you two are synced together, you know.”

“Actually, it’s totally normal,” you corrected. “When you get to be that close with another girl, things mesh.”

“At least you both know when it’s coming,” your best friend teased, elbowing Dean in the side.

“We know when to stay away,” Sam laughed. “Stay far, far away and huddle together and brace ourselves for what’s about to come.”

“This movie always used to freak me out,” Dean’s girlfriend commented. “It’s the way their bodies move. I don’t like it.”

“I only really like it for the Heat and Snow Miser song,” you giggled, biting into a dark chocolate bar. Sam opened his mouth, leaning over to sneak a bit. “Hey!”

“I bought it. I deserve a bite,” he said around a mouthful. You rolled your eyes. It was too hard to be mad at him, or even pretend to be mad at him.

“How weird would it be if Santa was real and there was a Christmas without him? I mean, there’s no way he’d never be sick. Do you think he’d just push through?” Dean had a lot of questions about the movie. Your best friend was asleep, her head resting on Dean’s thigh and his hands stroking through her hair. You were starting to get drowsy, but still awake enough to hold a conversation.

“There’s gotta be a backup, ya know? Or some sort of magic there that allows Santa health for one night a year,” you answered.

“Man, I’d like that magic spell or whatever,” he laughed.

“Be careful what you wish for,” Sam commented. “You know our job. Some sneaky witch could be listening in right now.”

“Unless it’s whatsername from Oz is back, I don’t think we have any witches living in the bunker,” Dean explained. “This place is pretty well warded, I think we’re good.”

L stirred in Dean’s lap. Sam smiled, taking your hand. “I think it’s time we hit the hay too,” he smiled, pulling you from bed.

“Thanks for the movie night, Dean,” You hummed. “See you in the morning.”

“You owe me breakfast,” he reminded. You sighed, remembering your little deal. Movie night in his room if you and L cooked breakfast in the morning.

“Yeah, you tell L that when she wakes up.”

Sam walked you down the hall. He did this silly thing where he’d wrap his arms around your waist, and waddle with you, wanting to stay as close as possible. Sometimes he’d rest his head on your shoulder or the top of your head, and other times he’d just keep it still and looking straight on. It was cute and he was warm, and the pressure on your cramping stomach made the period pains a little more bearable.

This time, as he walked, he snuggled his face into your neck, placing light little kisses there. “I love you, Y/N,” he whispered, opening the door to your shared room and without letting you drift too far, walking in with you.

“I love you too, Sam,” you told him, tipping your head to the side so his lips would meet yours.

“You tired?” He asked, finally letting go of you so you could change into more comfortable pajamas.

“Sort of. Why?”

“I was thinking we could watch another movie in here. One that doesn’t have creepy stop-motion animation.”

“Like?”

“Elf?” Sam suggested. You nodded, crawling under the covers. You only made it to the narwhal telling Buddy he hopes he finds his dad, before falling fast asleep.

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[elise-by-year]

Written on the body: 2016 in photos.

,(This is the latest I have ever written this post, but the theme of 2016 has been “please be patient with me, I’m doing the best I can,” so it seems sort of appropriate.) 

New Year’s Day 

“What has been really nice about this year, I think, is that I kept a lot of it to myself. I spent time with the people that mattered to me and I didn’t feel like I needed to explain why things were important to me.” 

This is how I wrapped up the end of my 2015 post. The first hour of 2016 started with a boy yelling at me outside a bar, demanding to explain why I would want to be alone when he was willing to be my boyfriend. I went back to Moira’s apartment with Mae and Katie, where we snuggled up in one bed like we had done so many times in the nineteen years behind us. Later that day, Frank came over and fulfilled my Christmas wish for girl power and a gypsy curse (Hunger Makes Me A Modern Girl and a rusted sailor’s compass that spins around despite sitting still are sitting on my desk at this very moment). We had a horror movie marathon and killed a bottle of Jameson while we ate baby carrots and screeched on my couch. 

So, really, the first morning of 2016 started with this thought: Don’t let people who treat you unfairly stick around. Take a self portrait and move the hell forward.

January 

Photo: Juliette Sandleitner 

Photo: Alyssa Roth 

The rest of January was really good to me, despite some hard stuff. 

I went on a secret date with a mutual friend that turned into a lot of dates. I was advised by a lot of people not to, but I’m still glad I did and hope he’s glad too. I  went to a housewarming party that ended in me standing outside my ex’s house while it rained sideways and I tried to reason with myself. I don’t remember why you ran outside or what we talked about, but I remember hoping we wouldn’t have the opportunity to talk again so I wouldn’t need to keep choosing over and over. I decided that there is no real time to say good bye and that the things you love will eventually just stop showing up. 

A big snowstorm hit. I spent the better part of it walking through the streets with Frank and Finley, drinking bad whiskey from the fish flask and being grumpy old men. I drove up to the Ghost Ranch the moment the roads cleared and spent the day drinking basil gimlets in a snow fort and shoveling out people’s cars.

I went to Maria’s house to have a silly afternoon of shooting and eating burgers with her, Alyssa, Juliette (who I had not seen in over two years), Annalise, and Eden. All of the snow from the week before had melted almost overnight and it was warm enough to walk around without a coat. 

Other things about January: Mae and Katie and I founded B.Y.O.M. (bring your own mom), which basically just meant getting blitzed off $2 margaritas with our moms. I went to visit Max and saw the “woods behind my house” that I had been hearing about for the better half of the year and watched The Prisoner. Mae and I went to brunch a lot and got a matching pair of parking tickets. I started working at a tequila bar with Frank. 

Most importantly, maybe, was the beginning of the thought that I wasn’t doing what I should be doing. 

February 

“Rabbit, Rabbit”

February was another big month. I housesat for my godfather and spent a week and a half with my golden retriever babe counterpart, Mollie. Mae and I got accidentally-on-purpose mimosa drunk and met Cory Booker at a Clean Ocean Action rally. Max came to visit; I cut his beard and showed him Pershing Field, where we saw the best sunset I’ve ever seen in person. I took my shoes off and broke some pieces of ice in the ocean with my bare toes. 

I made a weird (but, in retrospect, funny) mistake, had a bad day, and saw a different sunset in the same spot with Frank. Mae and I got into a fight and made up. It snowed again. I made a bunch of Star Wars valentines. I went to Max’s birthday (X-Files pennant in tow) and met twenty people in one night. Meg and I hung out alone for the first time and got a little drunk at a Bond St. music video filming while making new friends and dragging egotistical boys.

I went on the worst! Date! Of all! Time! It’s my favorite anecdote now. I’m still convinced I was on a prank show somewhere.

Frank and I saw Jenny Lewis perform her Rabbit Fur Coat ten year anniversary show, which ended up being one of the best shows I’ve ever seen. I watched Jenny Lewis, tiny and string and mighty, reduced a sold-out 2,900 seat house to pin-drop silence when she sang Happy without a mic. 

Frank and I saw another show a week later (Mary Lattimore/Julia Holter) and ate clementines and giggled about the secacu pail tation and decided that most things in life can be sorted out in the morning (unless you sleep through work the next day, which I did). 

This was also the drunken movie night couch sesh that ended with a reprimand from my mother because she was worried Frank was going to drunkenly freeze to death in the snow walking the two blocks back to his house. To this day, Frank claims my mother is the only one who has ever worried about him actually dying in a ditch.

Excessive amounts of laughing and drinking with Frank aside, I started spending a lot of time alone and celebrating that. I started a little series about documenting my life alone vs. with a partner, as this was my first year alone in almost four years. 

I went to the Cold War Surf party with Brie and Dave and spent most of the night talking to their friend about PA school. I hadn’t seen Dave since the summer and I hadn’t seen Brie so happy in a long while. I went on a date with a photographer the next day and left early because I felt sick. He said leap days cause bad luck and universal unsteadiness, but I told him it was just a  hangover. It was the flu. 

March 

Spent the first week of March melted to my couch with the flu. I shook myself out of it just in time to make a job interview and meet Vicky for her week back in America. We spent too much money on burgers in Crown Heights, but I was so happy to see her and so sad to say good bye. She played me a love song she recorded on her phone while I battled my way through Brooklyn traffic to drop her off.

My flight for Anna Kate’s wedding in Georgia was the next day. It was my first time taking a plane on my own and my first time being a bridesmaid. It feels a little cheap to write about this now, honestly- I think I felt better in four days than I’d felt all year. I finally got to see my best college friend’s town and house and family and meet her in-laws. Everyone was so kind and warm and accommodating (even the Georgia weather) and I really felt a great deal of sadness when I left. 

Back at home, it snowed a little more and I showed Frank and Finley my secret beach. The tide was too high to make it to the voodoo bunker, so we stuck a pin in it. The pin’s there for now, along with other things. We started spending a lot of nights in his backyard raging with the fire pit, baby carrots, and a witch of the wood. 

I spent a lot of March in a weird place and living in terms of “this time last year.” It felt like there were a million other Elises living their lives differently just out of my periphery. Still with Alex, still in school, someplace I couldn’t imagine. I knew I didn’t want any of those things, really, but I got caught up in the missing and the wanting instead of trying to change my life. 

I was still seeing a person I shouldn’t have been seeing, letting myself feel guiltier and guiltier. I went to Meg’s show in West Long Branch and drank a milkshake (because I wasn’t through pretending I wasn’t lactose intolerant) and it was sick-sweet and I sat on a barstool sick and sweet and sad, a stomach to match a mood. 

Brighter side: Mae and Frank and I went to see Girlpool, found a Jurassic Park themed bathroom in a pho place, and didn’t get ticketed parking in Brooklyn. My two best friends got along so well and it made me feel appreciative and lame and lucky. 

I think March is when I started seeing a reporter, but I’m not sure now. 

April 

April was good and bad. I went on a lot of interviews for jobs I didn’t want, went on a lot of dates with a reporter I liked, and went for a lot of walks with different people. My anxiety was mean, uncontrollable, and manifested physically most days. Wilco got sick at the beginning of the month and I spent a lot of time curled up in bed with him, which was something I needed almost as much as he did. We were both tired out and needed each other. 

I turned 24, and it was the first birthday I wasn’t sad about for a long time. Mae, Brie, and I celebrated two birthdays at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden and had the nicest day. Mae made me a Twin Peaks necklace on the laser cutter and I don’t think I’ve ever been more careful with another piece of jewelry. 

I had lunch with an ex and they asked me to come back, which I could not bear to consider. 

Still, I was happy. Things were nice, and I was happy and appreciative. When things were good, I felt like if all of life were that nice, I wouldn’t appreciate anything. The bad days made the good ones, if that makes sense. If I woke up miserable and cranky, I knew I’d be better for it, because every nice thing might feel even a fraction as good as a truly good day. It’s a backwards way to live, but it was how I was living at the time. 

I saw Colin Hay with Mike, the reporter, and Frankie Cosmos/Eskimeaux with Frank. The Frankie show was the first time we were one of the oldest people in the audience, and we celebrated by eating Cracker Barrel and wearing plastic sandals. We also spent a lot of time raging in the backyard, firing up Finley, and witching in the woods. One day I met all three cats, hung out with his whole family for the first time in the longest time, and we found out worms move really fast. Like, really fast, guys. Also, a tub of pretzel rods that had been moving between our houses finally met it’s bitter end. 

I don’t know how I forgot about this until now, but Frank and I also saw Rihanna the day before my birthday and then followed it up with a visit to the Wonder Bar on my birthday, which was much less eventful and involved leaving Frank to talk to someone from high school while I danced. If a human look could convey that shriek R2D2 does, that would be the look Frank was giving me at that moment.

I went to visit Max again. We split a turkey sandwich, helped his mom set up a printer, and went off-roading in the pine barrens.

Erica and I tried to go biking at Sandy Hook, but I popped my tire shoving my bike into the trunk. We walked up and down the bayside of the hook, flew kites, and visited the voodoo beach before it got dark.

Went on a few brunch dates with Mike, accompanied by some of my friends and then his dog and then alone. He was a good sport when Mae and Taylor accused him of being a murderer for having two phones and his dog’s name started with an L and that is honestly and truly all I can remember about this person I knew for the better part of two months. 

May

The Dead End Kids \m/ 

May was filled with work and friends and more work. Starting with work: I began my stint with the escape room, which proved to be a nonstop hell ride where I met a handful of really good pals, including Shayne and Laura. It’s also where I started put all of my weird feelings and doubts to bed, which was a good feeling after a long time. I also started working at Stone Dog, a female-founded scenic shop that had just moved to my hometown. It was good to be doing carpentry and design nonstop with patient and fun coworkers. At this point, I was already making plans to go back to school, so the enormous pressure I had felt at my previous creative jobs had up and vanished. I felt nervous, free, excited for my life, and happy with a secret. I was still at the tequila bar, but I was working most of my shifts with Frank and had hit a happy groove with my routine. 

My mom and I got drunk at mother’s day brunch and my dad needed to pack us into the backseat to drive us home. I was still seeing Mike at this point, I think, and other Mike (my favorite bartender) asked me about him. We broke things off a week later for lack of feelings, and I wish every conversation could be as easy as that one. 

Katie graduated, which left me in happy, proud tears. She came home and slept for a full day. 

I went kayaking with Erica and her (at the time) new boyfriend, Timmy. It was the last time I saw her with blue hair and the first time I saw her so happy with a partner. They’re still together and, while I don’t see her as often lately, I’m happy when I think about where she is in her life. 

Waj joined the Peace Corps and had a going away barbecue before he left for China. That was one of my favorite nights of the summer. Mae and I decided to bike (which was a way better decision when we were sober and not drunkenly trying to get uphill so we could go to bed at 2 am). We started a wheels gang called the Dead End Kids with Jake, Nick, Luke, and Paul. Little did we know, we’d be starting the summer’s most potent curse, but more on that later. Anyways, it was nice to reunite with people I really, really loved while saying good bye to one of our best. 

I had many more backyard nights with my great aunts / wiz bang gang / goo goo dogs  (Frank + Finley). 

June 

When you realize you matched your outfits and your ice cream cones 

June started off in Annapolis, Maryland, where Stone Dog had sent me for a set install.  I would go on to install an MTV set a week later and throw up in a gender-neutral bathroom between raising Hollywood flats a week and a half later.

Robbie graduated, which was one of the best days. We had a graduation party two weeks later with our whole family, which was weird and surprisingly nice. Colin and Ashley also had a barbecue to celebrate their new house and engagement. 

Mae and Frank and I went to our second big concert together (well, Northside Festival). We saw Wolf Parade, ate vegan ice cream, played with tiny hands and street sharks, and laughed way too much and often. We also all matched outfits like any proper girl gang. 

The biggest update of them all came in June: telling my family about my intention to go back to school and become a physician’s assistant. To save time, here’s my post from June about it: 

“After a year of working perfect, career-making carpentry and set design jobs, I’m realizing the reason I’ve been miserable for five years hasn’t been because my personal strides in life and mental health haven’t been good enough. It’s because I truly hate what I do. 

I love carpentry, and I love art and design. I feel the small rush of job satisfaction every once in a while, but it shouldn’t take a 24 hr Thanksgiving Day Parade shift to give me joy. This career has only made me feel small and useless, and my contempt for feeling like what I’m doing doesn’t matter has only grown over time. I’m twenty four. I shouldn’t be so consistently unhappy with what I’m doing. I should have been feeling joy when I was nineteen and going to school for set design, not utter annihilation.

I can blame my professors or that one summer or sexism in the workplace, but I can’t make excuses for all of those nights when I was eighteen and nineteen and wishing I had gone into the medical field. I can’t ignore being twenty two and twenty three and twenty four and feeling like my life was over and that I had made the biggest mistake of my life. I’m so young and I have so much velocity and I will never, ever have as much energy as I do now to make a change. 

I’ve had the best possible run in the art field and will continue to do so while I complete the undergraduate prerequisites required to pursue being a physician’s assistant. I know this sounds like a big announcement, but it really isn’t- I just need a small outlet (this blog) to take a baby step and feel like I have a little support while I transition into a new part of my life. 

I feel good. I feel so good. While I was in college, I didn’t plan for growing up and being an adult with a career. I planned on being a girl who would die from depression before I ever needed to make longterm plans for happiness. The past few weeks of planning have been some of the happiest days of adulthood I’ve ever felt. I feel so renewed and I can’t wait for it, all of it- studying and volunteering and going into a new career humbled and vulnerable and ready to learn.

Anyways, there it is- somewhere.

It’s time to lean the hell in.”

So, there it is. I was finally moving forward, registering for prerequisite classes, and seeking out EMS shifts for my volunteer hours. I’d been planning it for months, but I knew I wouldn’t have much time to think once I started. I was keeping up my hours at escape room, working on designs for a new room, and counting on that job to carry me through classes. 

Other things: Getting close and then very far away from a coworker and friend, putting all of my trust in the wrong people, a drunk girl reading my palm from the sidewalk outside the bar, and the end of a long soreness while I watched someone I cared about very much fall in love. 

July 

I didn’t take a single photo with my camera in July. July was a rush of plastic bag cellphone photos, cherry-stained teeth, and fourteen hour work days. Work at the escape room was both really good and really bad. I was getting closer to Shayne and Laura, managing my own schedule, and had a constant influx of weird projects and challenges. It was, however, coming at a cost: growing anxieties about being around people who both wanted and despised me, dealing with our crook of a boss, spending too many hours and too much money, and not prioritizing other things. On the bright side, I did get a perfect grade in my first responder respiratory class.

It was around this time that Frank and I started talking seriously about moving in together, which is sweet and a little dumb in retrospect. I had just agreed to take on five more years of school, so I don’t know why I thought shaking up my living arrangements could be in the cards for me. We also had an incredibly uncomfortable third of July, giggled about handwrittens, and saved the backyard witch from burning.

Mae moved home and started working on the boardwalk, so I spent a lot of time running her hoagitos and taking walks up and down the boardwalk alone until she was done closing up shop. Thoughts on Mae at this time: “Super thankful all the time for a best friend who constantly makes me feel like I deserve everything, even if I don’t feel like I deserve her when we’re apart.”

Also: Modest Mouse x Brand New at the Mann in Philly, which involved mixing Mae / Brie / Dave with Shayne. Also saw the Dolphin clan (and actually, now that I think of it, this may have been the last time I saw Max). 

Frank had to drop out of our Panorama plans last-minute, so Mae and I had an unbelievably cool day on Randall’s Island. We ate popsicles, stood in lots of lines, and proved that we could find a pair of hammocks in literally any environment. We saw The Front Bottoms, Kurt Vile, and (in one of the few self-actualizing moments of my short life) LCD Soundsystem. It was a hundred degrees, but it turns out Mae’s longtime wet neck bandana trick had actually become a fashion staple in 2016, so we fit in with the best of them. 

Also: Went on a few dates with the local candy factory owner’s son, was still too old for me, can never visit Old M’ Candies again. 

Also also: Started the most ill-advised project with Shayne and Luke at escape room. The only positive was getting to build things (like a glow in the dark table) and a lot of gin and tonics. 

Also also also: Ill-advised lifeguard stand kisses at Birthmae, starting another cycle I do not regret. 

Also also also also: Wishing I had listened to A and kept someone at an arm’s length. 

August

August was mostly good, partly bad. The “mostly” is the things that happened and the people I spent my time with, the “partly” is everything I let myself get caught up in. 

I met a girl in a bar that told me ghosts come in intervals of three years, and I thought about that a lot in the coming weeks. Felt raw and wide open to things that were far behind me and let myself get caught in that cycle of grief. 

Was still at escape room every day, fighting the good (and sometimes petty) fight. Shayne and I started taking turns throwing knives into the wall and spackling the holes back up a lot, at least. We also packed in a car to Pennsylvania to see Frank and Sarah in their play. 

I went to Colorado with my family and saw landscapes I hadn’t ever seen, took too few pictures, and spent most of my time profoundly distracted by my future.

Mae and I saw a lot of movies on the roof of the Baronet, Dave and I finally saw our overdue Night Vale live show, and I made more and more ill-advised decisions I just cannot regret. 

I finally drove up to visit Loretta after a year or two of phone conversations, KFC and white zinfandel in tow (her request). I was only the second visitor she had since moving into the nursing home a month and a half prior. I didn’t know how to explain her to my friends- “my dead friend’s grandmother” just didn’t seem appropriate, but “a friend almost four times my age” didn’t either. 

I also had my first friend date with Laura. We split a basket of fries with a dog on the patio of Bond St. and then waited patiently after that dog fell asleep on me, went to a show at the Parlor Gallery, visited Mae on the boardwalk, and got our futures read by a group of chain-vaping psychics. My psychic said I was full of darkness and stone and that my sister’s name started with a K. Laura’s psychic said she would marry someone soon and we both cackled our way down the boardwalk. 

Had my last backyard rage night with Frank in August. It feels stubborn to write it down, but. He was falling in love and that was a good thing.

We got sushi and sake drunk and he decided to go fully vegetarian, so that was Frank’s last memory of fish.

September 

(One day before breaking my foot) 

The very first things that happened in September: becoming the fourth victim of the Dead End Kids summer of ‘16 curse. After that polaroid was taken, Nick broke his collarbone long boarding, Jake broke his entire body long boarding, Paul broke his elbow longboarding, and I broke my foot in four places longboard jousting. (I named my longboard Lance, both for the 90′s gay undertones and the jousting). Mae and Luke made it through the rest of the year unscathed. 

So the rest of the fall happened on an air cast, which was weird and embarrassing and my second time on crutches in two years. 

I started Medical Terminology, my first class since my decision to go back to school. I was tired and broke and broken, but that class made me feel like my life was moving in a good direction.

Luke and Shayne and I were close to finishing up our escape room, exhausted and dead inside. This is probably the last time I’ll mention it. An entitled boy made me uncomfortable and unhappy at every opportunity. Work in September was the most negative part of my life (my year) and I don’t really care to think about it more than that.  

Shayne and Laura and I continued our Monday Fundays, playing lots of shuffleboard and drinking too much gin for a weekday. In a weird way, I made more friends in a cast than I did without one. Alex started showing up, which was easy and weird and nice. We spent some time talking about a girl we both loved a whole lot and I remember feeling like it was a stroke of unbelievable, overwhelming luck for life to work out this way.

The second annual Maker’s Fest happened, in a new location and three times the size as the year before. Mae was doing henna, so I bopped (clunked) around catching up with vendors and talking to new ones.

Mae and I celebrated our twenty year anniversary living across the street from each other and being best friends. I get real sappy talking about this and I’m trying to keep this all business, so here’s some thoughts on that: “My best friend has been my best friend for 5/6 of my life and that fraction is just going to become wider and deeper as we get older. Mae is one of those people that make you marvel at the capacity of your own heart and wonder how you could ever love someone more than you do right now and I am so, so profoundly lucky to have her in my life.”

Frank and I saw Bruce Springsteen play his longest show in history, a record he broke the next day and the next. He sang every favorite, every B-side, every song we’d driven through downtown Freehold blasting at 3 am since we were 17. It was unbelievable. It was also the last significant period of time I spent with one of my best friends, so I think about that night pretty often.

Also, I spent a lot of time on the beach shivering and finding the seven sisters. 

October 

“Your chest is wide open and yawning and you heart fills the room it inhabits and I wonder how you aren’t eroded away to dust by now.”

October was getting to know someone new, really trying to make myself a little more open to make space for all of the new people I cared about, missing my best friends, and trying to take pictures. Despite the good stuff, I was feeling very emotionally spent.

Became closer and closer with Shayne, was happy and appreciative for life throwing me a person so good. Thought about the cyclicality of my life and relationships, how I was making another dent in another passenger seat as my space in another faded away.

We left the bar one night and kept driving and ended up on the dirt JCP+L road I had found a few summers before. We watched fog roll over the pond and parked in the middle of the woods to look at the stars. I marked “star night- shayne” on my calendar so I wouldn't forget it, but it seems cheap to try and write about it now.

Shayne and Laura and Alex and I went on a last-minute vacation to Sleepy Hollow on Halloween weekend. I don’t think Elise from a year ago would believe that, and if she did, she wouldn’t buy that I had a genuinely good time. We watched bad horror movies, had an outdoor fire, and worried about getting murdered by our preppy Airbnb host. Apparently Hillary Clinton was walking around those same woods that very same weekend, but we didn’t see her.

Dan and I went to a Devil’s game and took loads of embarrassing pictures. I stared to realize that I was slowly becoming a partner.

Mae and I went as Neve Campbell and Bruce Campbell for Halloween, the closest to a couple’s costume we had ever gotten. It was the first time I had seen her all month. Halloween was a weird night for me ultimately, but Mae was the best part.

November 

“the earthly and obvious parts if me are touching your face and repeating a strumming “this is a person who loves you”

but there’s a loop, a pause, a gap in the human condition 

endless separations and connections, tidal and vascular 

falling out of orbit is much easier than fighting your way back in”

What can I say about November? Trump won the presidency, Dan and I spent the weekend hiking, I broke up with Dan, and I spent a lot of time alone on the beach. I got my cast off, put my bare feet in the sand, and waited for clarity. 

All of my siblings were home at once. Frank and I went on a walk, I worried that Finley would not recognize me, Finley knocked me over. There’s a lot to say about fish flasks and nerves and secrets multiplied into a shared burden twice the size, but I won’t say any of it. It had been a long time and I felt sick and sad and nervous. 

I took a self portrait I really, really liked. It was one of those portraits where recognized myself. 

Still, November was a month of disconnect and I wondered how many hearts I would dig through before I found my own.

December 

December was long and happy and lazy. 

I made two knives, applied to jobs, babysat my golden retriever counterpart. My siblings and I were in the same house all at once. I got strep throat and spent four days glued to a bed. I got the highest grade in my medical terminology class and my teacher asked me to apply to the school she worked at when the time came. I missed Frank, Mae came home.

Lexi came to New York with Jesse and Carl. I took eight pictures, learned how to play pool, and talked about my hometown too much.

I wrote this, and it’s all I can bring myself to say about the rest of December/my overwhelming luck:

“sometimes I feel so pitch-black, so lacking and longing

you are so unconcerned with my surface and shortness and shortcomings and I just do not know how you are so gasping and wide open, so ready for me at any moment

and I think of the constant draft, the tiny bites on rawness that you must feel to be so vulnerable for me at all times”

What can I say about 2016? It already feels so far behind me. I guess there’s a simple logic to doing a year in review in 2016 and not nine days later. Time is pushing ahead and I am too. It’s the same belief that keeps me honest with my loved ones: “Say it all now, because you are running out of time.”

I never know what to do here. Usually I get to the end of my review and feel heavy with loss or exhaustion. Sometimes I’m angry, and I can feel smoke ribbons coming out from between my teeth and making knots in the air around me. It’s hard, digging up the evidence of your life month-by-month and trying to put words to the sum of your parts. You think you have the shape of it, that you’ve smoothed it out into something you can understand, and then a sharp edge catches your finger and you’re bleeding all over again. It’s hard to be honest, to look your past in the eyes until it blinks first, and it’s even harder to be surprised by it. I am so many different moving objects all at once, flickers and beats and wanting. My past isn’t going to stay still just because I want it to.

This year feels different. Does distance grant clarity, or does change? Was this an easy year, or was it just productive? I went into this year looking over my shoulder, waiting for the things I had pushed aside to catch up to me. I realized that the thing I feared had already happened to me and was getting further and further away as time moved on. I realized that making a mistake did not mean I needed to waste my entire life trying to adapt to it. I started to let people grow on me instead of holding them at an arm’s length. (Actually- I really, really loved the people I loved and started to love myself just as much or more.) I let myself make mistakes, indulged in tiny failures, and built a lot of furniture. I hustled, I planned, I rode my longboard. I got good grades (grades!) and got stoked about school. I feel weird and good, even if things look a little shaky and transitional written down.

Here’s how I ended my 2015 year in review:

“Anyways- 2015 was really, really good to me, and I was really, really good to myself. I don’t have expectations for 2016, and I don’t have any goals besides pushing forward. By this time next year, I want to be looking back and remembering 2016 as hard and good progress into a life I want.”

And here I am. I already know 2017 is going to be about hustle, change, and working for the things I want. 

[stanfordsenbyhusband]

👀👀

I really love this picture of snowy

Just like look at him I just love how he’s laying there on the conveyor belt with his little minions there in front of him he’s very silly and cute and handsome aaaah I love snow miser so much!!! 

Pro.shippers/com.shippers DNI please

[stanfordsenbyhusband]

In a discord server I’m in I was asked about my s/i interactions with heat miser and some other characters and this was my response

Pro.shippers/com.shippers DNI please

[stanfordsenbyhusband]

For the ask game : gorgeous visage and double ^-^

gorgeous visage ୧ ‧₊˚ does ur fﾉo keep photos of u in their wallet ? or do they maybe have a locket of ur hair ? what about u ? how much evidence do u keep of them in ur day to day life ?

I feel snowy would keep a picture of me (or a picture of us together) in his pocket which I just thought of him pulling it out and being like ‘I got a partner and you don’t’ to heat miser lol

Also I would keep a picture of me and snow miser together in my wallet

double ୧ ‧₊˚ do u and ur fﾉo have matching tattoos ? if not, would u consider getting one or two in the future ?

No and maybe? To be honest I’m not how tattoos would work with snow because his skin is basically ice

Ask Game

Pro.shippers/com.shippers DNI please

[stanfordsenbyhusband]

I am currently thinking about the height difference between me and snow because holy shit he's tall af

Pro.shippers/com.shippers DNI please