#snow miser x alex
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I may hate the cold but god I love this silly icicle <3
S/i is transmasc enby and uses they/he/she pronouns
Pro.shippers/com.shippers DNI please
#snow miser x alex#safeship#safeshipping#safeship community#self ship#self shipping#self ship community#f/o#fictional other#f/o community#romantic f/o#selfship#selfship community#the year without a santa claus#rankin/bass#rankin bass#snow miser#nblm selfship#mlm selfship#autistic selfship#queer selfship#oc x canon#f/o x s/i#selfship game#self ship game#fictoromantic#fictosexual#ficto community
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Karaâs Earth birthday.
Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader
Word Count: 2540.
âOh, what you hiding in there?â You ask, coming from behind Lena and she jumps in fear. You chuckle at her reaction.
âShhh, be quiet.â Lena says, shushing you with her finger. âIâm hiding Karaâs gift.â
âOh! Mommaâs birthday is coming up, youâre right.â You throw yourself in their bed, watching Lena carefully lock the lead box you gave her for Motherâs Day. âWhat are we doing for her?â
âI donât know, baby. Youâre not Superkid anymore so we canât pick up her favorite foods from another countries, so maybe we just get potstickers and invite the Olsens.â Lena answers, still not paying attention to you, while she puts the box away. You breathe deep thinking about it.
âI could go.â
She looks back at you, looking confused. âNo, my love. You donât have to do anything youâre not comfortable with just because itâs Karaâs birthday.â
âOne: yes, I do. And two: itâs ok. Iâm not uncomfortable with it at all.â You shrug. âItâs just flying, then landing in China and buying things from her favorite restaurant there. I donât even need my suit.â
âOh, you also donât have your suit.â Lena says, moving to her closet and coming back with a box in hands. âRemember I burned it when I was you?â
âI do remember. Did I ground you for it, young lady?â You joke, making Lena roll her eyes at you.
âHereâs the new one.â She hands you the box and you open to see the House of El crest staring at you in its golden glory. You breathe deep.
âYou know what? Just keep it.â You give her the box back. âIt was here with you, anyway. Iâm sure youâll take better care now that you donât have to wear it anymore.â
âYeah?â Lena asks, unsure. You agree with your head.
âIâll ask if I need it.â You watch Lena getting up and going back to the closet. You lower your glasses to see where she is keeping it, memorizing the shelf she put in. You adjust your glasses back on your face before she comes back into the room. âSo-â You say when she shows up. âIâll get the food. And Iâll make a gift for her in the lab. You already got her a gift, and we have the dinner planned.â
Lena smiles, agreeing.
âDoesnât it all seem a littleâŠâ You think about it. âBasic?â
âBasic?â
âYeah, I mean, isnât it the same thing we do every year? Shouldnât we try something different? Like, a surprise party?â
âA surprise party?â Lena parrots you. âFor Kara?â You nod. âI think youâre forgetting weâve tried that for years and we can never surprise her. She has super hearing and x-ray vision, baby. Itâs like setting ourselves up for failure.â
âOk, but what if we do it somewhere she canât see through? Like the DEO. Or-or my lab!â
âYou wanna throw a party in your lab?â
âI just want to try something different this year. Honestly, donât you feel like this year weâve been through all kinds of weird, miserable, fucked up things-â
âLanguage!â
âSorry, but there isnât any other word good enough to describe it.â You can see that your mom is agreeing with you. âFor some reason I feel like this year we should be thankful weâre still alive and well and together.â
âYouâre right.â She cups your face with a sad little smile. âWeâve been through so much; your momma deserves a really nice party with everyone here to celebrate.â
âWhoâs everyone?â
âYou know, everyone everyone.â
âMom, everyone everyone who? We know like ten people.â
âDonât worry about it. Just worry about the food, and straighten up your lab, so it looks less like a lab, and more like a place we could actually throw a party.â You see Lenaâs eyes tinkling and you donât even ask about it. You already have a long list of things to do. Gift, food, organizing the lab. Youâll need some help.
You go to your lab, you need to think of something to give her as a gift, and you only have two days to figure it out. Itâs too short notice. Why the hell werenât you thinking about this before?
You sit in your lab and think and think. What can you give Kara? You sit on the chair, on the floor, on the table. You lay in it, roll to one side, then to the other. You pace around the lab. You leave really quickly to buy some snacks and look for inspiration on the street. Then you go back to the lab. What can you give her? You play on your phone. Text your cousin -she doesnât reply because she is at school-. You go see your mom upstairs -she is in a meeting and canât talk-. You spend half an hour talking to Aly and distracting her from her receptionist job. You go back to the lab, lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling. Your entire day is a waste. You canât think of a single thing to make and give to Kara.
The next day you ask Jamieâs help, when she leaves school, to make your lab more presentable. She has a lot of ideas. Some are very inflammable to do in a lab -honestly, most of them are-, but some are actually nice, and when you two are done your lab looks like someplace else.
âCan you move this table?â Jamie looks at your worktable in the middle of the room. âI mean, you probably can right?â
âI-yes, Jamie, I probably can.â You smirk, picking it up more than a thousand pounds with one hand and moving to the side.
âYou know, thatâs something I never get tired of watching.â
You think about how many times youâve seen Kara with one couch in one hand, her phone on the other, while Lena vacuums under it. How do the rest of the world clean under heavy furniture? You donât even know.
âOk. How about now?â You ask looking around and Jamie agrees with a smile.
âItâs perfect.â
âGreat! Now I just have to think about something I can make or buy for her.â
âWell, I canât help with that.â Jamie says, grabbing her stuff and making her way out your lab. You follow her closely behind. âI had one idea and it was a little notebook that she can use for work.â
âThatâs actually quite clever.â You grunt, frustrated.
âDonât sound so surprised.â
Why canât you think of something to give to your momma? It used to be so easy and now you canât think of anything for the life of you. Itâs so disappointing. You know that Kara wonât care about what you give her, but why on Earth is it so hard?
âHey.â Kara knocks on your door, late at night. You look at your alarm clock, confused. Itâs too late. âHeard you were still up.â
âOh. Come in.â You say and you donât have to call twice to Kara throw her body next to yours, flopping on her belly.
âYou seemed distracted today. I wanted to check if youâre alright.â She slings her arm around your ribcage, and you smile to yourself. Rao, this woman deserves the entire universe. Thereâs nothing you could make that would be good enough for her. You kiss the crown of her head.
âI love you.â
âOh.â Kara says, raising her head to look at you. âI love you too, babyface.â But she raises an eyebrow right after. âIs that all?â
âMhm.â You smile. âIâm alright. You?â
Karaâs eyebrows pinch together, and you see her crinkle showing. You ease it up with your thumb.
âNo need to worry. Iâm actually fine.â
âMy face betrays me.â She says with a laugh. âGonna get botox for that.â
âNo. You look perfect as you are, momma.â You cup her face, and she smiles, kissing your hand in return.
âOk, Iâm gonna let you sleep, then. Have a goodnight, kid.â
The very next day is the day of the party. You make some adjustments here and there. And wait for Lena to say its time.
âHey!â Lena enters your lab with a big cake in hands. âThe place looks great!â
âI know, right? Jamie had a bunch of cool ideas.â
âYour mommaâs going to love it.â She places the cake on the table. âOk, time to fly to China for the food. Here.â She gives you her credit card. âIâll wait for the guests and when weâre all here, weâll get her to come.â
âOk, cool.â You look at the list of things to buy, and Lenaâs card. Itâs a lot of food. You wonder how many people she has invited.
When you come back, balancing all the food sheâs asked for, your lab is already filled with guests, with portals opening, bringing more people in.
âHey Superkid!â Barry says, coming from the portal with wife, kids, Caitlin Snow, Cisco, and a bunch of other people right behind him.
âHey!â You try to wave without dropping the food, which is hard.
âHere, kiddo, let me help.â Alex shows up next to you. She grabs a few bags and helps you set up the table. âNice party.â
âThanks. Jamie actually helped decorate.â You say, and you hear Jamieâs voice right behind you.
âIt wouldâve been nicer if you had let me bring sparkles.â
âSo we could burn this place down? No, thanks.â You answer and watch Superman walking in with his family following him closely by. âHi, Kal!â And not far behind, you see Eliza. âOh! Gramm! You came!â
âI sure did!â She opens her arms, and you walk into her embrace. âLook at you! Youâre so tall now! You look exactly like your momma.â
âSpeaking of her-â You hear Lenaâs voice. âSeems like everyone is here already. Oh wait, here comes Nia and Brainy. Alex? Is Jâonn and Mâgann coming?â
âOn their way!â
âWhen they get here, you call your momma ok?â Lena moves away from you, and you agree with your head. You look around again. There are too many people in your lab, you didnât even know you all knew this many people, let alone that you could gather all of them in one place.
âWeâre here! Sorry, sorry!â Jâonn says walking in, and you look at Lena who nods at your phone.
You: Hey! You busy?
Momma: Going home, why baby?
You: I need help with something here in my lab. Can you come over? I have donutsđ©đ©đ©
Momma: DONUTS! Say no more!
âGuys, sheâs coming!â
Everyone stops talking, and Lena comes at you with the cake. You look at it with a smile on your face, you still canât believe she made a cake that looks like a potsticker. Your momma will freak.
âLittle one?â You hear Kara from the other side of the door.
âYeah! Come in!â You watch Kara opening the door and getting startled when everyone yells.
âSURPRISE!â
âWhat! You did not just surprise me! Thatâs so cool!â Kara comes closer with the biggest smile you have ever seen. âAwww, look at all of this! OH MY GOD, THE CAKE! LOOK AT THE CAKE!â
âGo ahead, blow it out.â Lena says.
âGently.â Alex adds, making you chuckle at the thought.
âMake a wish.â You suggest right after.
âWhat else can I wish for?â Kara says with a soft smile, and your cheeks burn red. She blows out the candles, and it doesnât take long for the party to actually start.
She goes around saying âhelloâ and âthank youâ to everyone, and you sit in a corner with Jamie to eat. Gramm joins right after and itâs great to see her for a while.
Itâs really late at night when the portals start to open, people start to leave, and thereâs no one left in your lab but your aunts, Gramm, Jamie and moms. They help you clean up the whole thing and soon enough theyâre giving Kara their gifts.
You feel embarrassed that you donât have anything to give her, so you slip out of the lab, praying she doesnât notice your lack of gift for her.
âHey, where are you going, kid?â Kara pulls you in, looking at you fondly.
You shrug and look down. How do you tell her you couldnât think of a single present to give her?
âWhatâs that about?â
âI didnât get you anything.â You breathe out.
âYou didnât-â Kara laughs. âReally? So a surprise party is nothing? And flying to another country to pick up my favorite foods doesnât count?â You raise your eyes to finally look at her. âWhy would you give me something else besides this whole thing?â
âI just-â You shrug again, cheeks burning with shame. She doesnât push you any further, but she also doesnât let go. Kara just looks at you, waiting for you to give her something. âMade all these big plans, because I wanted the day to be extra special.â
âAnd why is that kid?â She asks, and you bite your lip. âYou know, Iâm very happy with the party, and with the fact that I got to see everyone. But I would also be very happy if it was just you, Lena and me, and a little cupcake.â Kara says cupping your face. âWhy did today have to be so special?â
âBecause-â She raises her eyebrow encouraging you. âWe had a difficult year, and I know that it was my fault.â
âWhat? Of course it was not your fault!â
âMomma, I almost died a few times, I went to three different realities, I was mind controlled, couldnât get up from bed-â
âOk, let me stop you right there.â Karaâs face becomes very serious. âYou were kidnapped three times. You got tricked by an imp, which, by the way, Iâve been too. You were literally mind controlled by a villain. How-how can you say this is your fault?â You open your mouth. âHow can I possibly think that it is your fault that you couldnât get up from bed, when all of this has happened to you in less than a year, little one?â
You breathe out. You donât know what to tell her.
âYes, youâre right. Itâs been a difficult year for the three of us. But what about meeting Maya, and everyone you met when you went to different realities? What about all the laughter, hugs, and kisses and the love we shared this year? Hm? Didnât that make this year a little enjoyable?â Kara asks and you agree with your head. âI donât need a huge party, the biggest cake you can buy, or any of this to make me happy. You know what I need?â
âMe?â You ask with a little smile, and she smiles widely at you.
âYes, my heart. I need you.â Kara pulls you in for a hug and a forehead kiss. âAnd your mom too. Trust me, the fact that youâre both here in this universe with me, makes coming to Earth the best thing that has ever happened in my life.â
You smile, feeling less heavy.
âI love you, momma.â You kiss her forehead. âHappy Earth birthday. Iâm glad you ended up here.â
âMe too, kid. Me too.â
#supergirl#kara danvers#supercorp#supercorpfamily#lena luthor#supercorp daughter#kara x lena#kara x reader#supercorp fanfic#lena x reader#happy birthday Kara Danvers
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dead of night
pairing: luke patterson x julie molina
written based on prompt:
"itâs three am, in the dead of winter, some idiot pulled/set off the fire alarm and i am being very vocal about how iâm gonna make that dumbass pay"
university au
masterlist || ao3Â || twitter profiles
    When Julie heard the blaring alarm blasting throughout the room, she nearly cried.
It was midterm season, and she had been up late until two a.m. cramming for her exam later that day. She wasn't one to normally rely on cramming as her sole source of studying, but she had a paper due the previous day and another midterm the day before. She could only focus on one thing at a time. It pained her though, because Julie was a meticulous planner. She liked to have everything written down on a calendar and lay out a set number of dedicated time she would have to work on each assignment.
Nothing went as planned this time.
She had finally dragged herself to bed at around 2:15 a.m., with a set alarm for early in the morning to go over her notes some more. She never actually woke up on time for these said alarms, but it was the effort that counted. At least, that's what she constantly told herself.
It felt like she had only been asleep for all of twenty minutes when she was suddenly being ripped away from her REM sleep, and she was ready to kill someone.
"What the hell?" Julie hissed, throwing her duvet off her body violently. She could see her roommate Flynn (and best friend - they'd known each other since diapers) pulling on her shoes. Julie checked her phone from the bedside table and noted the time was now 3:26 a.m. She'd hardly been asleep for an hour.
Flynn opened their room door and was met with a number of their fellow students moving rapidly throughout the hallway. "Oh shit," she muttered, turning back to Julie. "Jules, get your ass out here. I'm not sure this is a drill."
Julie let out a loud groan, threw on her pair of black converse and booked it out the door after Flynn. She didn't even have time to grab a sweater like Flynn did, and only realized when she was halfway out the building, she was wearing a NYU short sleeve t-shirt and a pair of thin leggings.
"Someone better be on fire," she growled under her breath. She and Flynn were huddled together off to the side, trying not to freeze their asses off. New York was known for their particularly cold winters; it was mid-November, and this was no exception. The ground was littered with a light dusting of snow, and every time Julie breathed, she could see her breath.
She had never felt the urge to commit a felony such as murder until this moment.
Julie was so angry, she didn't notice the cluster of students hanging off to their right. She only noticed when she picked up on something particularly interesting one of them said.
"For the love of god, Luke!" The tall, blonde one yelled (Julie thought he was trying to whisper, but he obviously failed miserably). He also hit the shaggy-haired brunette (she assumed that was Luke) upside the head. "Dude, you set off the fire alarm! Our whole residence is outside in the snow!"
Julie's eyes widened and her grip on Flynn's arm tightened. Flynn groaned, absentmindedly shrinking closer to the ground.
"Alex's right. That guy's not even wearing pants!" The other brunette piped in, pointedly avoiding looking at the student in question. All three boys were dressed appropriately; pants, sweaters and beanies. Almost as if this was planned or something.
It only made Julie's blood boil even hotter.
Luke rolled his eyes, latching onto the third boys' shoulder. "Relax, Reggie. It was an accident."
"They're going to eat you alive if they find out," Alex added sassily. "I'll help them. You screwed up my beauty sleep, bro."
Luke snorted. "What beauty sleep?"
"Don't test me right now!" Alex snapped. "You know what this dry cold does to my skin!"
Luke nodded with a pout, seemingly sympathetic. "Stop being such a baby and live a little! This is sort of hilarious."
Reggie bit his lip and averted his eyes from Alex, who looked like he was about to rip his own hair out. "Dude, I'm going to strangle you if you don't stop talking."
"Oh my god," Julie hissed at Flynn. "Are you hearing this? These idiots did this because they're idiots! What the hell?"
Flynn chanced a look behind them, surveying the three boys. "Hmm, they're kind of cute," she said without thinking. Julie was quick to throw her murderous glare in her direction. "Wait no â that came out wrong..."
"I'm going to kill him."
Flynn had to grab Julie's arm and yank her back.
"Julie! I don't have the money to bail you out of jail right now! Don't do me like this!"
Julie huffed. "I have to say something. I have an exam later and I should be sleeping!"
"Just no felonies, okay?" Flynn pleaded with puppy dog eyes. Julie conceded with a nod.
Whirling around, Julie marched up to 'Luke' and tapped him on the shoulder. He whirled around and the smile he was sporting dropped from his lips; now he just looked confused. "Uh â can I help you?"
"Probably not," she started bitterly, "but I just happened to overhear that you're the idiot who pulled the fire alarm and I would genuinely like to know what in the hell would possess you to do such a thing on a fucking Tuesday during midterms?"
Julie was now yelling and Luke looked like a terrified deer in headlights.
His friends were holding onto each other with wide eyes.
"Uh â well â" He stammered on embarrassingly.
"Some of us have shit to do! I have a midterm in a few hours and instead of sleeping, I'm stuck out here with you and believe me, I'm trying really hard not to punch you in the throat right now."
Luke blinked, his mouth opening and closing because he didn't know what he could possibly say to make this situation better.
Alex did, however.
"Do it," Alex blurted, "punch him!"
Luke whirled around, looking affronted. "Dude!"
"Don't 'dude' me," Alex sassed. "You deserve it."
Luke turned back to face Julie with a newly apologetic expression as he tried to explain himself. "Listen," he started and by the furious look on her face, he could already tell it was the wrong thing to say. "Shit, I'm sorry! I just â I swear, this was all a misunderstanding. I really didn't mean to do it; it just happened."
"Buddy," Reggie leaned in to whisper in his ear. "This doesn't sound nearly as good as you think it does."
Luke rolled his eyes, pushing his friend back into Alex. "I'm sorry; what can I do to make this better?" For the first time since she started yelling at him, he actually looked at her.
She looked absolutely exhausted and it only made Luke feel guiltier. Her hair was up in a messy bun and her glasses were low on the bridge of her nose. He took note of her outfit and the thin t-shirt; she was obviously freezing and the goosebumps on her arms proved that. Immediately, he shrugged out of his hoodie.
"Um â here, take this," he shoved his NYU hoodie in her direction. She looked down at with furrowed brows, and then back at him. Her glare was still in full force, and Luke admired her ability to look so angry, but so adorable at the same time. "It's the least I can do."
Julie looked down at the sweater again, scoffed in annoyance and walked away.
Flynn was holding back a laugh as she made eye contact with Luke. He looked exasperated as he hobbled after Julie.
"Wait! Just â hold on a second!"
Julie didn't feel like stopping for him and her angry speed-walking was finally sending some blood back into her arms. When Luke grabbed her arm to spin her around, she turned to him with a ferocious glare. "Shit â okay, sorry," he dropped her arm sheepishly, "should've asked. I'm sorry. I just â please, take this."
Once again, he offered her his grey hoodie.
She really wanted to stand her ground and make a point. But she was genuinely freezing, and her pride could only control so much. With a sigh, she grabbed the hoodie and slipped it over her head. It fit baggy, but it was so warm and her eyes nearly rolled into the back of her head. She didn't even notice that this now left Luke in a measly t-shirt.
"Again, I'm really sorry," he apologized again, biting his lip. "You have a midterm later today and this was so stupid of me."
Julie took a deep breath; she felt calmer now. Probably because she had already yelled at him, and she was tired and she didn't have the energy to stay annoyed for much longer. Plus, he had already apologized like six times.
"It's fine. I may have overreacted a little bit."
Luke chuckled nervously. "No, you definitely didn't. I've always been told I'm a little â uh, reckless."
"And I guess I've been told I'm a bit uptight," she admitted. Julie had no idea why she was being so honest with a guy who's head she bit off five minutes ago; but he had really beautiful eyes, like puppy dog eyes and she couldn't help but get sucked in. "I'm Julie, by the way."
"Yeah?" He was suddenly hyper aware of how gorgeous she was and for the first time, she wasn't glaring at him. Holy shit, was she making googly eyes at him? "I mean â we can always treat that. I happen to know a few rascally boys that can help."
Julie let out a gentle laugh. God, this night really got away from her. She could see the firefighters start to exit the building, seemingly finding no sign of a fire and any other issue. "I think I'm hardwired like that, unfortunately."
The students around them slowly started filing back into the building and Luke realized he only had a few minutes left. "Um, well â again, I'm sorry. And I hope your midterm goes well." He originally intended to ask for her number, but of course, that's what came out instead.
"Thanks," she replied softly, thumbing at the sleeves of his sweater. "I can wash this sweater and get it back to you."
Julie gave him an opening and he knew it.
"Of course. Is it alright if we exchange numbers?"
Julie was surprised at the warmth that immediately spread through her chest. She could also feel the smile stretching across her lips through no effort of her own. "Yeah, that'd be great," she responded, "as long you promise not to wake me up at an ungodly time of the morning."
"No?" Luke raised an eyebrow, shooting her a smirk. He could see the fire in Julie's eyes and he knew the feeling was mutual. "But I thought that was our thing."
"If that's the case, our thing will also be me punching you in the throat."
x
i wanted to make julie sassier and make luke work for it a bit more but i got tired and i really wanted to post this asap so i kinda wrapped it up early. i hope it still ended okay???
#jatp#jatp au#jatp fic#jatp fanfic#jatp fanfiction#juke#juke au#juke fic#juke fanfic#juke fanfiction#palina#julie and the phantoms#julie x luke#luke x julie#julie molina#luke patterson#alex jatp#reggie jatp#flynn jatp#willex#julie and the fat ones#fics
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love/hate songs
Since 8tracks is messed up and playmoss is gonna disappear and Spotify doesn't have many songs, Iâm posting some of my playlists here. This is a list of songs about love/hate relationships for pairings. Enemies to lovers, tsundere personalities, hero/villain couplings, opposites attract, loving someone you know you shouldn't. This list is several years old so the songs are older and kinda âscene.â
Major trigger warnings for the lyrics of these songs. Some songs have violent lyrics. This playlist romanticizes conflict.
Song list under read more:
Love to Hate You - Erasure Nicotine - Panic! at the Disco Don't Let It Go To Your Head - Fefe Dobson Your Love Will Kill Me - Daniel Lavoie Bruises and Bitemarks (Remix) - Good With Grenades October & April - The Rasmus feat. Anette Olzon Violator - Son of Rust Sick Amore - El Creepo Disgusting - Ke$ha Dangerous - Depeche Mode Oleander - Mother Mother Fear & Delight - The Correspondents Love is a Suicide - Natalia Kills Sex as a Weapon - Pat Benatar I'd Love To Kill You - Katie Melua Before I Ever Met You - Banks Rent - Pet Shop Boys Helpless When She Smiles - Backstreet Boys Holy - Zolita Strangelove - Depeche Mode I Won't Say (I'm In Love) - Susan Egan Can't Feel My Face - The Weeknd Only You - Ellie Goulding Devil Devil - Milck Livin' In A World Without You - The Rasmus Â
Hate Love - Adelitas Way Suddenly - Peter Heppner Sick and Twisted Affair - My Darkest Days Radioactive Mirrors - Amazinglyjon Dangerous - Cascada Violence (Club Mix) - Grimes & i_o This Is Love - Air Traffic Controller Make Hate To Me - Citizen Soldier Gently Break It - Beck Pete Portrait of a Female - Cruel Youth This Could Be Love - Alkaline Trio Lie, Lie, Lie - Myra You Give Love a Bad Name - Bon Jovi I Only Wanna Be With You - Volbeat Maybe You're Not the Worst Thing Ever - Cast of Galavant I've Got You Under My Skin - Seether Human - Oh Land Le Bien Qui Fait Mal - Mozart, L'Opera Rock Can't Help Falling In Love [Light x Dark Remix] - feat. Brooke Tommee Profitt Fell For You - Green Day Stupid Grin - Dragonette Broken - Lauren Hoffman Take Me to Church - Hozier Super Psycho Love - Simon Curtis Whip - Mr.Kitty  Get You Off - Fefe Dobson Crazy Girl - Ke$ha Vice - POP ETC Cannibal - Silversun Pickups Rest in Peace - Original Cast of Buffy The Vampire Slayer Hem of Your Garment - Cake Tear You Apart - She Wants Revenge Truth Or Dare - Marianas Trench We Sink - CHVRCHES Gingerbread Man - Melanie Martinez You Stupid Girl - Framing Hanley  Die For You - Red F*cking Boyfriend - The Bird & The Bee Mean - Nicole Dollanganger Must Be Crazy for Me - Melissa Etheridge That Girl - Alexz Johnson FMLYHM - Seether Bad Romance - Halestorm Aquarius - Within Temptation Flirt (With Me) - Zeromancer I'm With Stupid - Pet Shop Boys Stop This Song (Love Sick Melody) - Paramore Trying Not To Love You - Nickelback Kill for You - Zolita A Love Like War - All Time Low You Need Me - SWANS Hatef--k - The Bravery Bottled Affection - Cold War Kids True Love - ThouShaltNot Terrible Thing - Ag I Can't Decide - Scissor Sisters Exit Wounds - The Romanovs Gun - Chvrches Every Breath You Take - Chase Holfelder Whole Lotta Love - Smash Mouth Bloodsport - Sneaker Pimps XXX - Imran-C Bitter Rivals - Sleigh Bells Destruction Of Us - Mr.Kitty Teeth - 5 Seconds of Summer Love Me Dead - Ludo Paralyzed - The Used River - Bishop Briggs Neon - VERSA Sucker For Pain - Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa & Imagine Dragons I'm Your Villain - Franz Ferdinand Beautiful Monster - Ne-Yo I Own You - Birgit Let Me Be Your Armor - ASSEMBLAGE 23 Perfect Enemy - t.A.T.u. Straight for the Knife - Sia One More Night - Maroon 5 I Hate You (Don't Leave Me) - Ke$ha The Moth - Aimee Mann Mad Love - The Veronicas Toxic (Acoustic Britney Spears Cover) - Johnny Goth Bad Intentions - Digital Daggers Shut Up - Nick Lachey Soldier - Bitter Ruin First Bad Habit - Vanessa Hudgens In The Darkness - Dead By Sunrise Tearin' Up My Heart - *NSYNC You'll Be Back - Original Broadway Cast of Hamilton & Jonathan Groff Crazy In A Good Way - VERIDIA Combat Baby - Metric In Bluebeard's Castle - Unwoman When Doves Cry - Prince State of Seduction - Digital Daggers Whataya Want From Me - Adam Lambert Broken Inside - Broken Iris Murder (feat. Minx, Chilled) - Boyinaband Why Do You Love Me - Charlotte Lawrence Follow You Home - Nickelback Love To See You Cry - Enrique Iglesias Impressed - Natalie Imbruglia Die For You - Megan McCauley Your Kind (Speak to Me) - Danger Radio Tyrant - The Bravery Violent Games - Polica Toxicated Love - NEO Nemeses (feat. John Roderick) - Jonathan Coulton Miserable - Lit Running From My Shadow - The Velvet Teaparty Barricade - Stars Trouble (Stripped) - Halsey Brutal Hearts - Bedouin Soundclash Desire - Meg Myers Sticks And Stones - The Pierces Just the Girl - The Click Five Himerus and Eros - The Spill Canvas Blood - In This Moment I'm Insane - Myah Marie Fiction (Dreams In Digital) - Orgy Whore - In This Moment Monster - Ryan Adames Foundations - Kate Nash Only When I Lose Myself - Depeche Mode Hatchet - Archive The Beginning of the Twist - The Futureheads Change - Deftones Trust Me - Marc Senter Love Me Hate Kiss Me Kill Me (Scndl Remix) - Fukkk Offf Big Bad Handsome Man - Imelda May The Mighty Fall - Fall Out Boy My Obsession - Cinema Bizarre Stitches - Orgy Miss Kiss Kiss Bang - Alex Swings Oscar Sings! Sweet Dreams - Beyonce Fuel To The Fire - The Maine Closer (Nine Inch Nails Cover) - Niki Barr Band Clueless - Orla Gartland Devil Woman - Cliff Richard Hatefuck - Motionless In White I Love You But I Donât Like You - Molly Moore Overpower Thee - AUF dER MAUR Get Down On Your Knees And Tell Me You Love Me - All Time Low Post Blue - Placebo Genghis Khan - Miike Snow Poison - Alice Cooper I Know I'm A Wolf - Young Heretics Little Toy Gun - honeyhoney I Miss the Misery - Halestorm Dirty Sticky Floors (radio mix) - Dave Gahan Clarity - Zedd I Get A Kick Out Of You - Frank Sinatra I Hate Myself for Loving You - Joan Jett and the Blackhearts Die for You - Otherwise Labyrinth - Oomph! Black Black Heart - David Usher I Want to Destroy Something Beautiful - Josh Woodward I'm a Priest - Daniel Lavoie You Need Me - SWANS Afraid of the Dark - Phildel Virus - Ryan Adames I Wanna Be Your Dog (remix) - Emilie Simon Hello Goodbye - The Beatles Sarcasm (Album Version) - Get Scared Use Me - Hinder Poison & Wine - The Civil Wars Pretty When You Cry - VAST Tainted Love - Soft Cell Scream - Avenged Sevenfold Think About It - Danger Radio Gallery Piece - Of Montreal Bang Bang Bang Bang - Sohodolls Little Girls - Say Anything I Hate Everything About You - Three Days Grace Love Runs Out - OneRepublic Disarm - Smashing Pumpkins Hit Me Like a Man - The Pretty Reckless Bang Bang (feat. Adam Levine) - K'naan Hurts So Good - John Mellencamp Addicted - Kelly Clarkson Whiplash - FEMM Paralyzer - Finger Eleven Crime - Temposhark Misery Loves Company - Emilie Autumn It Was Good for You Too - Marian Call Price Of Company - The White Tie Affair Burn! - Kobra And The Lotus I Love My Lawyer - Ofelia K I Want Blood - empires (I Always Kill) The Things I Love (ft. The Real Tuesday Weld) - Claudia Brucken Misery (Cutmore Radio) - Maroon 5 Fire and Ice - Pat Benatar I Lust You - Neon Neon Pistol Whipped - Marilyn Manson Bitches Brew - Crosses A Formidable Marinade - Mikelangelo And The Black Sea Gentlemen Control - Puddle of Mudd Scary Love - Skye Sweetnam Loveyouhateyou - Sad Robot Untangle Me - Snow Ghosts A Little Taste - Skyler Stonestreet E.V.O.L - Marina and the Diamonds  (You're the) Devil in Disguise - Elvis Presley Shut Up & Kiss - Me Orianthi Cool for Chaos - Nostalghia Oyeme - Enrique Iglesias I Hate You - Sick Puppies GirlShapedLoveDrug - Gomez You Only Tell Me You Love Me When You're Drunk - Pet Shop Boys Need You Like A Drug - Zeromancer Werewolf - Cat Power Bathwater - No Doubt Bad Dog - Neon Hitch Guns And Horses - Ellie Goulding Rev 22-20 - Puscifer Won't You Please Be Nice - Nellie McKay The Perfect Drug - Nine Inch Nails Until The Day I Die - Story of the Year Womanizer - Britney Spears Build Me Up Buttercup - The Foundations I Think I Love You David Cassidy Stalkers - Mindless Self Indulgence  Kill Me Every Time - Blue Stahli Preface - FKA twigs Every You Every Me - Placebo Want - Disturbed Spit It Out - IAMX Destroy Me - Mr Kitty My Sweet Prince - Placebo Psycho - Imelda May Monster - Meg Myers Figured You Out - Nickelback Suffocated Love - Tricky Satisfy Me One More Time - Frank Sinatra This Love - Maroon 5 Miss Jackson (feat. Lolo) - Panic! At The Disco Fire and Ice - Pat Benatar Every Other Time Lyte - Funky Ones How Do You Love Someone - Ashley Tisdale Poison - Gin Wigmore Bitter and Sick - One Two The Outsider - Marina & the Diamonds True Love (feat Lily Rose Cooper) - Pink Bad Boy - Cascada Irresistible - Temposhark Painkiller - The Queenstons Born to Die / Russian Roulette - Amazinglyjon Like Sugar - Matchbox Twenty Mad About You - Hooverphonic Stupify - Disturbed Problems - Mother Mother What Is Love - Haddaway Animal - The Cab Marionette - Antonia I Hate You But I Love You - Russian Red Carve A Name - Mother Mother Criminal - Britney Spears Danger - Hilary Duff Fell in Love w/an Android - Simon Curtis Demon Lover - RĂłisĂn Murphy Always - Saliva Too Close - Alex Clare Little of Your Time - Maroon 5 Sex and Violence - Scissor Sisters Electric Storm - Delta Goodrem Black widow - Susanne SundfĂžr Dangerous Kind - Rasmus You've Really Got a Hold on Me - The Miracles Over and Over - Three Days Grace Devour - Marilyn Manson Nature of Inviting - IAMX The Odd Couple - Weezer Hurt Me Harder - Zolita Terrible Love - The National Mad Love - Jojo Boomerang - Reliant K Bad News - Sleeper Agent I Was An Island (EP Version) - Allison Weiss Rock Bottom - Hailee Steinfeld Youâre the One That I Want - Lo Fang Poison - Rita Ora Kill For You - Skylar Grey ft Eminem Wouldn't Be Love - Ritual Hate Me - Nico Collins Irresistible - Fall Out Boy I Love You... I'll Kill You - Enigma
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clouds - chapter 2 : cirrus
Pair: Julie x alive!Luke
Summary: After her motherâs death, Julie Molina moved away from Hollywood, across the country, to Ithaca, New York. Sheâs left behind her two loves in life: her best friend, Luke, and her music. There, she finds new friends and enemies, new experiences and joys, she might even find herself. Every night, Luke calls Julie to talk about the clouds. But what if Luke is hiding something?Â
Word Count: 3,344
Warnings: angsty??? I mean we gotta move the story along soooo
Note: I started writing this and it got away from me! I think this series might be longer than originally intended, but thatâs not a bad thing. I canât wait to delve more into Alex, Reggie, and Carrieâs storylines, but for now, hereâs this! Please please comment, like, reblog; feedback is always appreciated :)))
Masterlist
Taglist
---Â
The morning had been much chillier than the previous day. On their way to school, Julie and Flynn had bundled up in their favorite sweaters and scarves, along with matching thermoses of tea. Julie had tried to stuff her hair into a wool hat, but after failing miserably, she settled on tying her hair back into a ponytail. Flynn had offered to help style her curls that morning, but she had declined.
The ground next to the sidewalk was blue with frost and they could almost see their breath if they squinted hard enough.Â
In Ithaca, the winter was dryer, she had found that her lips chapped more often and she seemed to constantly have the sniffles. In L.A, when it got colder, it mostly rained, snow was far and few between and was never terribly enjoyable; the second it hit the ground it would become this sort of grey sludge. One thing they both shared was the unpredictability. Seeing the sun one day did not often guarantee a warm week, which left Julie to keep an array of coats of different thicknesses.Â
There werenât too many clouds to see, if she tried hard enough, she might be able to make out a flying saucer. She shook her head, spaceships were too easy and basic; anything could be a UFO.Â
As they walked and the sun slowly rose, they talked about their upcoming day; if Carrie was going to be tolerable, if they would be getting new music projects, and who was buying lunch.
Luckily for Julie, she could already feel the air warm up, unfortunately, the conversion had shifted to Luke.
âHow is your friend? Liam, or whatever?â Flynn asked, tossing her hair over her shoulder.
âLuke,â Julie snorted and looked down at her hands, âHeâs doing well, he didnât see too many shapes yesterday, so our conversation was relatively short.â Flynn knew about their nightly calls, but Julie had left out most of the reason they happened. Flynn didnât need to know how much she missed her friend, she didnât want the other girl to feel inadequate.Â
âItâs really cool that you guys still keep in touch, if all of my friendships drifted apart that nicely, CarrieâŠâ Flynn drifted off into thought at the mention of Carrie. Contemplating Julie, frowned, she didnât particularly like to think that she and Luke had drifted, but she supposed they had literally done just that.Â
âWell when you have a history like Luke and I have, itâs impossible not to talk to him.â Julie didnât mention that he seemed to be a part of her that was now missing, or that Luke had this sort of magnetism that drew anyone and everyone to him, or that when they wrote songs together she had felt more alive and seen than anything.Â
Those things didnât need saying, those things had been left in L.A.Â
But in here she had Flynn and a small town and a family.Â
A broken family, she thought.Â
---
As Nick finished his guitar solo, his lacrosse buddies whooped and hollered in the small music room.Â
It was smaller than the one back home, but just as welcoming. Cinder block walls had been covered with sound absorbers and music posters ranging from âhang in thereâ cats to major and minor scales to student made flyers, advertising the school dance coming up.Â
Their mascot, a yellow and black cougar, had been painted on the wall by an art club some time ago. It was slightly lopsided and its snarling mouth looked more mangled, but the sentiment was there.Â
Julie had zoned out long before Nick had started, staring at the chipped paint on the wall. She knew the second she walked up to the piano to play, she would freeze. No amount of mental preparation could prepare her to set her fingers on the ivory keys and play something, anything.Â
âOkay, we have one last performance,â Her teacher said, âJulie.âÂ
The girl looked up slowly. She stumbled toward the piano with hesitant steps. She sat down with a sigh and opened the sheet music. Her blood was rushing and her head was pounding. The room seemed to blur and spin, but was also eerily still and quiet.Â
She could feel the eyes of her classmates boring into her skull. As they watched her, she could guess what they were thinking, here we go again, I wonder if sheâll actually play this time, just get on with it.Â
Julie knew that Flynn was trying to encourage her, even from where she was sitting, but she couldnât bring herself to look at the girl.
âTake your time,â Her teacher assured.Â
Julie might take forever.Â
She opened the case of the piano and grazed her fingertips on the keys. They were cold and unforbidding. The second she pressed one of the keys she knew that she would break.
Memories of her mother would come rushing back; every scraped knee, every hand holding in the parking lot, every crush whispered in secret, every night spent over the stove learning what spice goes in when, every uncontrollable fit of laughter.Â
She would remember every Christmas and Easter that they would break out her Abuelaâs Arroz Con Leche recipe, every concert they went to where they would scream lyrics until their throats were raw.Â
Every failed test that her mother had stayed up late to help her study for, every flu shot where her mother still held her hand, no matter how old she got.
Every note written or melody sung would fill her mind. She didnât know what would happen when it did, and she desperately didnât want to find out.Â
She stood up, âIâm sorry.â
Julie thought she heard Carrie say some snarky remark and that Flynn had retaliated, but she couldnât have been sure before she was rushing out the door.Â
After the school day, Flynn and her walked home as quickly as they could, sometimes sprinting. They needed to beat Julieâs father home after he picked up her brother, Carlos, up from his own school. She was praying that he hadnât heard the news that she was out of the music program yet.Â
She groaned as she saw his car already in the driveway
Flynn quickly hugged her, âItâs fine, heâll understand.â She withdrew from the hug and held Julie at arms length with a sympathetic smile before they had to part. Flynn waved as she unlocked her front door and stepped inside.Â
Julie took a sharp breath in before doing the same.
---
âSo is âClocks move faster / cause itâs all were afterâ the first pre-chorus or the second pre-chorus?â Reggie ran his fingers through his hair, his nose scrunching, âBecause wouldnât it just make more sense to have the same pre-chorus on each verse?âÂ
The brunetâs bass was slung over his body as he rested his hands on the body of his guitar. He looked over to Luke, who was crouched over his lyrics.Â
Luke shook his head , his air already dripping with sweat, âItâs the second pre-chorus, the first is âClocks move forward / but we donât get older.ââ He semi, sang, strumming along on his guitar. âChanging it up adds movement, we donât want to bore the listeners. It keeps the theme of staying young at heart.âÂ
Reggie nodded and plucked at his bass, testing out different rhythms. Moving his hands up the neck and over the strings, he finally settled on some semblance of a tune, repeating it over and over again.Â
Alex joined him, adding a hit on each of the beats of the song. This gave the song a drive and pounding rhythm, working with Lukeâs line of âElectric hammer to the heart.â
Luke stood up after scribbling something and added his guitar part over it, humming along with the melody, and soon they got well into the song, improvising along the way. There were still some wrong chords and off beats, but they had the bones of what they felt like would be a hit.Â
Luke had gone from humming to singing, Reggie and Alex joining in. Luke felt his pulse quicken as he grinned.Â
ââWe ainât searchinâ for tomorrowâ,â Alex sang, to which Reggie echoed, ââCause got all we need todayâ.â
Luke bopped along, ââLiving on a feeling thatâs been running through our veins.â
They looked back and forth to each other, knowing what was coming next.
Reggie was supposed to have a line to end the bridge, but it hadnât been written yet. Luke had spent hours trying to come up with something, but it just didnât click, every line he wrote either changed the meaning of the song or was too clumsy.
Luke sighed as they all stopped playing and he cast an apologetic gaze to the bassist, âIâll get it. I promise.â
The boy in the flannel just shook his head, âNo worries bro, weâve done a lot in,â He checked the clock on the wall and his eyes widened comically. âFive hoursâŠâ
This mock practice session had started in Alexâs garage right after school after Luke had presented them with a song at lunch.Â
âItâs totally us,â He had said, sliding to the table with a lunch tray and a scribbled mess of paper, beaming, âTotally mid 90âs. And look, you-,â He pointed to Alex who looked excited but skeptical, âCan start the bridge and you-,â Luke turned his attention to Reggie, âCan echo, ending withâŠâÂ
Luke trailed off, he didnât have an ending line yet, he knew it had to be perfect. Everyone knows you canât end a bridge without a call to action, something that stirred and emotion so deep that you couldnât help but sing along.Â
He sighed as his mouth twisted, âI donât know, I havenât found the perfect line yet.â He looked down at his chicken scratch, then slid the paper across to Alex, who examined it.Â
âI like it, have you decided where the harmonies should go yet, or nah?â Alex flipped his blond hair back, after adjusting it in his snapback. He was already trying to decide what type of beats he would do, where the drum fills would be, and what he should consult Reggie on.Â
The makeshift band had a process: Luke would write a basic lyric and chord progression and then he would bring it to the guys. From there Alex would come up with the heartbeat of the song with Reggie. Reggie would work with Luke to see what melodies he should be playing and how he and Luke would bounce off of each other.
When they came together, the three friends would look at who sang what, harmonies, and fill in the gaps in the music. They worked like a well oiled machine
But lunch had been 7 hours ago and it was now 8 oâclock, well past when Luke should have been home. The boy jumped as he looked outside, saw it was dark, and cursed under his breath. He quickly put his guitar on his stand and grabbed his book bag, then ran out with a wave to Reggie and Alex.
âIâll see you guys tomorrow, if Iâm still alive,â he called before getting on his bike and going home.Â
The air was damp and it had just rained, making the pavement slippery. Despite being almost winter, the weather was warm enough to where he only had to put on a shirt and jeans to be comfortable.
On his way to his house, Luke looked to the sky. He cataloged some shapes of dark clouds, moose, cat, spaceship, he thought. He chucked to himself, anything could be a space ship, it wasnât creative enough, all the cloud had to be was somewhat circular.Â
His mind drifted to Julie and what she would have to say about these clouds. She would probably smile, her adorable gap showing, and tell him all of the wonderful odd shapes she would see.Â
âThere, right there, a cat chasing a dog,â She would say, âNo, no, scratch that, a dog chasing a cat chasing a pigeon. Wait sorry, a shark without a back fin. Or maybe a line of ducklings crossing a street.â Then she would narrow her eyes as the clouds shifted and formed new images, âWell now I donât know what I see.âÂ
Luke would then look over and tell her that everything she saw was amazing, even if it was truly unremarkable. She was always able to see things he couldnât, even if it was something as menial as a cloud. She could look at him and know exactly what was wrong no matter what; he didnât know if she was truly super powered, or if he was super transparent.Â
Which was why he was glad she couldnât see him on their calls.Â
She knew about Reggie and Alex, they had met before she left, but she didnât know that they played music together. She didnât know that Luke was writing songs with them like he used to with her. He didnât want her to feel replaced.
And as far as she knew, his parents were completely fine with his music. They may have had little gripes here and there, but she thought that was the extent of it.Â
As he arrived at his house and opened the front door, that wasnât the case at all.
âLucas Patterson!â His mother yelled from the kitchen, âDo you have any idea what time it is!â
Luke winced as she ran into the living room, wiping her hands on a dish towel. He could see that the dining room table had already been cleared and the leftovers put away.Â
âIt is 8:14! Would you like to tell me why the hell you missed dinner again for the third time this week? No wait! I bet I know! Let me guess, you were at Alexâs!â Her eyes were steel. It wasnât a question, they both knew the only thing that would keep him out at night would be music with the guys.Â
He gripped the strap of his back pack before looking at the floor, his knuckles white. âIâm sorry Mom. I just lost track of time, you know how I get.â
Emily smoothed her brow with her fingers as her husband walked in from the kitchen. âAt least tell me you did your homework.âÂ
Luke didnât answer.
His mom threw the dish towel to the floor, âLuke we had a deal! You can keep playing your guitar and going to âband practice,ââ She used air quotes, âAs long as you did your homework before then and always made it home for dinner. Always! Your family and school work is important! I know you donât think so, but as long as you live under our roof, you abide by our rules!â
He threw his hands up and scoffed, âIâm not going to stop playing music, itâs my life! And you canât stop me! I am sorry if I miss a few family dinners a week, but isnât that fine if it means Iâm happy?âÂ
His mother looked at him like he had sprouted another head, âSon, I know itâs been hard ever since Julie left, and I know you miss her but--â
âBut what Mom? Thereâs nothing I can do about it, sheâs in New York! And the only thing keeping me connected to her is music, and right now, you donât even let me have that.â Luke stormed through the living room into his room.Â
He dropped his bag down with a thunk, and sat on his bed, smashing his head into a pillow and screaming. He regretted that he didnât bring his guitar back, if only to take out his anger by shredding on volume 10.Â
The day kept getting later, and while he didnât like calling her while angry, he dialed Julieâs phone number.Â
The phone rang a couple times before she picked up, âHello, this is Her Majesty Queen Julie Molina, what is your concern peasant?â She said in a haughty voice, before her façade broke with a giggle.
âWell Your Highness, I have come to discuss todayâs weather.â He replied, playing along, her voice instantly making him feel better.
âToday we have seen a couch, a baby, and many many trees.â
âI have also seen many trees; they are very common in the sky.â Luke laughed, âI may have also spotted a suitcase and an umbrella. Sadly my Queen, the rain made it quite hard to see too many shapes.â
Julie clicked her tongue, he could see her face now, her nose scrunched and her mouth down turned, âThat is a downright shame. Is there any news to report?ââ
Luke perked up at that and rushed to get the words out of his mouth, âActually, yeah. I wrote a song, âNow or Never,â and itâs actually not that bad. Except I canât figure out this one line, and itâs been bugging me all day.â He huffed, âDo you wanna hear it?â
She replied just as giddy as he is, âOf course!â
The brunet then launched into singing an a cappella version of his song from memory, stopping here or there to say things such as, âA harmony would totally go here,â or âAdd a little guitar riff and itâd be perfect.âÂ
He kept going until, ââLiving on a feeling thatâs been running through our veinsâ. And then of course another line, and then the chorus.â He was staring at his popcorn ceiling now, smiling like a kid in a candy shop.Â
Julie paused, then said, âWeâre the revolution thatâs been singing in the rain.âÂ
âWhat?â
âThatâs it, thatâs your missing lyric.â
Luke froze, she really couldnât get any more perfect.
âQueen Julie, you are a genius!â He jumped off of his bed to grab a scrap of paper off of his messy desk before writing down the lyric. âYou songwriting genius! If you have stuff like that flowing through your brain, how arenât you playing it?â
He didnât mean to bring it up, it just sort of happened. But it was true, how could she be so good at writing and let it go to waste?
Julie cleared her throat, âWell actually--â
âYou sang again? I knew it, I knew you would!â Luke cut her off.
âWell no,â She rushed out, he could already see her running her hand over her face in exasperation. He has to stop interrupting people. âI got kicked out of the music program. I havenât played anything since I got here, and I couldn't either today. I guess that was the last straw, because my teacher called my dad and said that unless I could play something by the end of the week, I need to choose a new elective.â
They sat in silence.Â
Luke played with his hands, knitting his fingers together and pulling them apart before an idea came to him, âWhat about your momâs song. Not for class I mean! But, if just to sit down at your piano again and play something, what about that? She wrote it for you after all. And then maybe afterwards youâd be good to play for your class and boom! Youâre Julie, songwriting pianist extraordinaire again!â
âI-I donât know about that, Luke,â She swallowed. Right before her mom passed, they had written a song together, but she hasnât even been able to look at it since she moved. If she sat down to play it, sheâd be accepting all of those memories back. But then again, if she needed to sing anything it would be her motherâs song. They had taken a few months to write it, and Julieâs mom had completed it beforeâŠ
âI mean maybe. Iâll see. Iâll try.â Julie nodded to herself and gave a determinant look to her wall. Tomorrow morning she would go to her garage and play her mother's song.
âYou promise?â Luke asked tentatively.Â
âI promise.â
âAlright. I guess I should go, itâs probably pretty late where you are. Iâll see you soon?â
Julie nodded, âSee you soon.â Then hung up.
#jatp#Julie and the phantoms#Julie and the himbos#julie and the fat ones#jatp julie#julie molina#Luke patterson#Luke Patterson imagine#Jatp luke#Luke Patterson au#julie x luke#luke and julie#Willex#jatp flynn#Jatp fanfic#Jatp reggie#Jatp alex#jatp carrie#clouds fanfic#juke#jukebox
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Frosted Glass: Part 3
Description: Yoongi is in love with the princess of another land, and heâs given the opportunity to court her, with the help of his brothers. You are the princess of the country south of the frozen kingdom, but youâve gotten a deadly disease and your only home is to venture and live in the icy north. Will Yoongi be able to win your hand with the help of his brothers?
Warnings: N/A
Posted: 02/06/2020
Tags: Yoongi x reader, Prince!Yoong, Prince!Jaebum, Prince!Yesung, Prince!Yeonjun, Prince!Hwall, Frost Prince, Jack Frost! Yoongi
1,315 words
A/N:Â Next part tomorrow since I have a long weekend!
Yoongi watched y/n talk brightly with Eira, his soon to be sister-in-law. They appeared to be getting along famously.
âI thought you said she was considered the second-prettiest daughter?â Hyunjoon asked, joining him and Jaebum.
Yoongi shrugged. âThatâs what her people say. I always thought she was prettier than her sisters.â
âIâve seen her oldest sister before, when she passed through with the king she married. You cannot tell me that she is considered the prettiest.â Jaebum arched an eyebrow at Yoongi.
Yoongi shrugged again.
Jaebum shook his head. âStrange.â
Yeonjun came over with Yesung. âSo, whatâs the plan? How do we get her and Yoongi-hyung together?â
âWell, the obvious start would be to have them spend as much time as we can manage to throw them together for,â Hyungjoon said, folding his arms.
Yesung nodded as well. âShouldnât be difficult to get them time together, Iâm more concerned about him blowing it.â
Yoongi looked at the floor, using his shoe to break up the frost that was spreading around him.
Hyunjoon laughed softly. âAw, heâs nervous!â
âBe careful, Hwall. You may be laughing now, but when itâs your turn with a woman, Yoongi-hyung could very well make your life miserable,â Jaebum warned. âHe remembers everything.â
Yesung nodded slowly.
Yeonjun tugged on Yoongiâs arm. âSo, hyung, how are you going to woo her?â
âWell, I offered to show her the town once she was well enough, and I figure I could regularly offer to show her around. Jaebum-ah, youâre going to have to pretend to be interested at least.â
âThat shouldnât be hard,â Jaebum replied, looking over with a certain amount of admiration that made Yoongi want to punch his brother. âShe seems friendly enough. Iâll see if I can find out anything that would help you.â
Alright, he wouldnât punch him. But he might make sure his bath was freezing if there was any sort of overstepping. The princes preferred cold in everything but bathing and sleeping. They could stand it, but even Yesungâwho was probably the most powerful of the frost princes as the oldestâwould be grumpy if his bath was cold, or he had to sleep in a bed that was anything but the perfect temperature. Even Eira brightened and curled up near the hearth sometimes, and she pouted that her room was too cold the first night she slept in the castle.
âI hope she has enough warm clothing,â Yeonjun said softly, looking worriedly over at her after she had sneezed. âItâs cold in the castle, especially for a human.â
âWe will ensure that she has everything that she needs to be comfortable, or rather, Yoongi will. Right, little brother?â Yesung was smirking.
Yoongi nodded. âOne step at a time, though. First, we make her feel welcomeââ
âBecause she really is? It was getting boring around here,â Yeonjun sighed.
Yoongi sighed at the interruption but nodded. âYes. Second, I try to spend as much time as possible with her without overwhelming her. Third, we make sure her and Eira donât fight because damn, theyâre already talking like theyâre old friends.â
The other boys followed his gaze to where the two women were whispering before bursting into giggles that they obviously tried to suppress and keep quiet.
âAnd YesungâŠâ Eiraâs voice carried over just enough to bring the eldestâs name before it was lowered into a whisper again, saying something that had Y/n laughing unashamedly, not bothering trying to conceal it any longer.
Yoongi and his younger brothers tried not to laugh at the partially shocked and partially terrified look on Yesungâs face.
âWhy are they talking about me?â He asked, probably himself, but since his brothers were thereâŠ.
âTheyâre probably talking about how awkward you are,â Hyunjoon offered.
âOr your cravat being crooked,â Jaebum said.
âOr how awkward you were when you went up into the ice mountains to try and find a wife before Eira took pity on your awkward soul and approached you first and subsequently had you wrapped around her little finger despite also deferring to you as her future king,â Yoongi added, keeping a straight face.
His younger brothers started laughing uncontrollably at the offended look the eldest gave Yoongi.
Yoongi shrugged. âSorry, hyung.â
Yesung huffed and walked away, soon joined by Eira who had a happy sort of white glow to her now and seemed to quickly set him at ease.
Yoongi watched them together, grateful that his brother had been so lucky in finding her. He deserved someone who could take his cares and worries away so easily, especially as the future king.
Yeonjun was already taking a seat in a chair near y/n, picking up the conversation he had started at dinner. Asking about summer festivals instead.
âWell, what sort of festivals do you all have in the warmer seasons?â She asked instead, smiling at Yoongi as he joined as well.
âWell, thereâs the Spring celebrationâŠthe snow melts for a few weeks and it helps all the animals during birthing season, and flowers pop up.â
Her eyes widened. âAâŠfew weeks? How do you grow food?â
âThereâs more magic here than anywhere else on the island, but most of our food grows despite the snow,â Yoongi explained when Yeonjun looked a little lost for words. âWe also have an active trade system on the coast, and with your country, for other foods.â
She nodded, but she still looked distracted. Like a curtain had been pulled in front of her. She looked ill.
âY/n? Are you well?â He asked gently, worried. He didnât want her to be sick any longer.
âYes, um, I think I should retire for the evening.â
âIâll make sure the maids build up your fire, it is supposed to get very cold this eve,â Yoongi told her. âDo you have enough blankets, do you think?â
She nodded, standing and dropping an appropriate curtsy. âThank you, I believe I do.â
âThen rest well, Princess,â He said, bowing, probably more than he should have.
Yeonjun looked at him in confusion after she had gone. âWhat happened? She was fine.â
âI thinkâŠwe reminded her that she would not be experience summers or springs as she knew them anymore. The problem with Yeolbing Fever is that if sheâs exposed to a warmer environment for excessive periods of time, she will fall ill again. And it will be worse. She must live in our country to survive, and we reminded her that she left much behind. At least, I think that is what happened.â Yoongi looked away, out the window and into the cloudy night.
âI will check on her tomorrow, when we dine together. I am certain she will enjoy living here, once she is accustomed,â Eira said brightly. âAnd we must remember she probably is not accustomed to magic as we are.â
âTrue, she is very much human while weâŠare something a little different. It may be quite a lot to wrap her mind around,â Yesung said. âI have some work to do. Good night, brothers. Goodnight, Eira.â
âMy prince,â She replied softly. âWalk me to my rooms?â
Yesung smiled, shooting a glare at Yeonjun and Hyunjoon who were pretending to gag.
âRemember, no little snow-babies until after the wedding!â Hyungjoon called after them, getting hit upside the head by Yoongi and Jaebum for doing so.
Yoongi excused himself a while later, heading outside and carefully to her window, painting a new scene in the frost, noticing the glow from behind the curtains that suggested she was still awake. He tried to make his design extra pretty since heâd made her uncomfortable. Like an apology.
He hoped she liked it, but he knew he wouldnât be able to see her reaction to it since he had to ride out early the next morning for a sort of patrol.
â
Previous. Â Next.
Masterlist. Â Yoongi Masterpost.
Tagging: @alexâawesomeâ22â Â @bryvadaâ Â @missmoxxiesworldâ Â @knjheâ @agustdgeniuslabâ
(Please remember to comment on the Taglist masterpost if you want to be tagged)
#reader x yoongi#min yoongi#yoongi x reader#yoongi fic#prince!yoongi#bts#bts fic#bts x reader#frost prince!yoongi#Jack Frost!Yoongi#jack frost au#royalty au#prince!jaebum#prince!yesung#prince!yeonjun#prince!hwall#yesung#kim jongwoon#Im Jaebum#choi yeonjun#hwall#prince!au#royalty!au#princess!reader#princess#Fairy Tale Story#fairy tale#frosted glass fic
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Day 9: Storm (Carry On Series, Snowbaz)
Dec 1: Cozy (Carry On Series, Snowbaz) Dec 2: Ribbon (Carry On Series, Snowbaz) Dec 3: Red (Red White & Royal Blue, Alex x Henry) Dec 4: Light (Frozen, Elsa and Anna) Dec 5: Mistletoe (Carry On Series, Snowbaz) Dec 6: Icicle (Red White & Royal Blue, Alex x Henry) Dec 7: Warmth (Carry On Series, Snowbaz) Day 8: Comfort (Stargate SG-1, Cassie and Tealâc)
I am a bit behind. Just pretend it is still December 9. (Also, 100%: I posted a tiny Stargate ficlet and had to go freak out a little bit.) This is not the fic I meant to write, but Baz would not cooperate when I just wanted him to magic up a stupid snowstorm? So instead there is this which is more post-Wayward Son found family stuffs.
Day 9: Storm (Carry On Series, Snowbaz)
Iâd planned to have a peaceful afternoon catching up on some reading before Simon got home from his shift at his new job. And it had started that way, before Fiona called, and Mordelia texted, and Bunce needed to verbally process her plans for the rest of her life prior to leaving the flat for the evening.
Simon should be home any minute now. Heâll be tired after handling customers all day, though, so I probably have another hour or so to read while he watches some show or other to decompress.
I continue to labor under this illusion right up until Snow bursts through the door of the flat, storms across the living room, and throws himself onto the couch with such force that I can feel the bounce of it from the opposite end. I glance up from my book and make note of his red face and his disordered hair, which is pointing in several different directions at once in a way it only does when someoneâs been tugging their hands through the curls.
Since Iâve been sitting here reading for the last hour, I can only assume Simonâs turned his hair into a birdâs nest himself.
From the far end of the couch, he cocks an eyebrow in an aggressive way that I often regret teaching him. I shrug in response and return to my book. âLovely day at work, I take it,â I say, keeping his voice level. Casual. Bored.
Simon snorts. âThe shop was fine,â he says.
âHmm,â I reply, turning to the next page. âHoliday rush?â
âNot much yet.â
I nod. âBunce said to tell you sheâll be at the library this evening, and youâre to do the dishes.â
Simon lets out a sound that falls somewhere between a groan and a shout.
âItâs just the dishes, Snow.â
âCut it out, Baz. You donât have to coddle me.â
Direct questions rarely yield useful information when Snowâs in a mood like this. I know it. Simon knows it. Simon knows I know it. Thereâs a great deal of knowing itâs true and very little to be done about it. Usually the roundabout path is the better one, but it seems Simonâs not in the mood for it tonight.
âAll right, then.â This was definitely not the evening I expected, but then again, things rarely are when Snowâs involved. I set my book down on the coffee table. âWhatâs got into you, exactly? If we were back at Watford, youâd have smoke coming out of your ears, and Iâd be worried you were about to burn the tower down.â
âLady Salisbury stopped in at the shop.â
Ah. That would explain the mood - the long-lost and newly-devoted grandmother. (And hadnât that been a shock to everyone concerned when it had come to light this fall?) âShe probably came in person because you never answer your phone. Which, as your boyfriend, I can assure you is quite annoying.â
Simon kicks the table leg. âYouâre quite annoying.â
âMy life-long goal.â I pause, then try again. âI assume she wasnât just calling in to say hello.â
Snow drags his fingers through his hair, and yes, thatâs definitely why it looks the way it does right now. âShe wants me to come visit on Saturday,â he says at last. âSaid sheâs âhaving a few friends in for dinner.â And my uncle.â
âAnd?â
âAnd what?â He kicks at the table leg again, but itâs softer this time. âI couldnât very well tell her no to her face, could I?â
To be honest, Iâm surprised he didnât. âNot without becoming the main gossip at the club,â I say, considering. âMagickal society loves a good family rift.â
âThe club,â he scoffs. âLast summer theyâd all but forgotten I exist. Except your parents, who we both know wish they could. But Iâm a Salisbury now, so suddenly everybody cares?â
I donât say anything to that. Heâs not wrong, but weâve been round and round this track before. It doesnât go anywhere.
âAnd how is it a rift when I was never really family in the first place?â he goes on, still properly worked up.
âDonât coddle you?â I ask. âAre you sure about that?â
He makes a face and then shrugs. âThatâs what I said.â
I sigh, then I scoot down the couch to sit closer to him. âSimon, you avoid her, you donât take her calls, and when Dr. Wellbelove first introduced you, you ran out of the room like you had goblins to slay.â
âSlaying goblins was easier. I donât even know how to have a family.â
Heâs still grumpy. But when he moves, itâs to close the rest of the gap between us, pressing his shoulder up against mine.
Itâs a miracle we are having this conversation, I remind myself. That heâs not just in his bedroom lying down with the curtains drawn, or sitting here next to me, not touching, not talking, not living. The fact that heâs not yet noticed heâs been here with Bunce and myself these last few years, having the best approximation of a functioning family we can give him, is best left for another day.
âYou smile at the ones you hate,â I say instead, âand make fun of the ones you like. Itâs not that difficult.â
âI donât think normal people do family like you and your aunt.â
I wave a hand. âWell, you can run around tripping over each other and trying to steal the best books for yourself, if you want to use the Bunce model.â
âNot for books,â he says. âMaybe if it were scones instead.â
âIâll fight Bunce for the books, then.â I tap my foot against his. âIf she were here, sheâd say something optimistic. That Lady Salisbury means well, or some rot like that.â
âExcept sheâd say it while telling me what to wear and which fork to eat with.â
I canât help myself. âSee, you do know what itâs like to have a family.â
He smiles, just a bit. âPennyâs not here. What do you say?â
âLady Salisbury means well.â
âBaz.â
âItâs a nice house,â I offer. âNo wraiths, so itâs better than visiting my parents.â
âAlso, she actually wants me there.â
âAlso that.â I lay my hand on his leg, palm up, and wait for him to take it. âGo see your grandmother,â I say when he does. âIf itâs miserable weâll go to the pub when you get home. If itâs not, you can take me for baked goods in the morning. You win either way.â
He nods, then leans sideways to look out the window. âMaybe weâll get snowed in.â He frowns as though he can manifest snowflakes himself. He turns back to me. âCan we get snowed in?â
âThe forecast is clear as a bell through next week, sadly.â
He squeezes my hand. âYou have a magic wand!â
âWeather magicâs dangerous, Simon,â I say in my best Penelope Bunce voice.
He cracks up laughing, his morose mood gone just like that.
Iâll never completely understand, but I donât really care. Iâm just glad to see his smile.
âIâm hungry,â he says, when heâs calmed down again.
âYouâre always hungry.â
âItâs your fault for talking about pastries. Did Penny really say the thing about the dishes?â
I roll my eyes. âYes, Snow.â
âWill you help?â
I shove his leg with my foot before sliding back to the other end of the couch and retrieving my book. âGo do your chores, Chosen One. Then weâll find you dinner.â
âAll right.â He gets up and heads for the kitchen. âI like that plan.â
So do I.
#carry on#carry on fic#snowbaz#snowbaz fic#simon snow#baz pitch#found family#advent calendar#ficlet#my fic#posts by me
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Fake Fic Title: Hot Chocolate Mustache
OKAY SO.... Iâve been reading @rampagewriting amazing fic Donât Fear The Reaper, ( x click it, you wonât regret it ) and it inspired me to write this.. Itâs just kinda... My own thoughts as to what might be going through Alex and Chibsâ minds at some point during the story. I asked @rampagewriting if it was alright if I wrote this, I just really hope that everyone likes it... Even though it came out a little bit angsty (thereâs kinda tentative flirting her too, sorry I couldnât give you Chibs lap like you did for Opie! I wanted this to fit Alex as closely as it could to the way you see her.) Anyway... So this is me, attempting to write a thing for Sons of Anarchy. And this isnât the last youâre going to see of SOA on my blog, either.
TAGGING: @rampagewriting | @andie01 | @vonschweetz -- I didnât tag many people this time because Idk who out of my followers likes SOA and thereâs no one listed on my tag list doc for that category.
more fake fic titles | faq | add yourself to my tag list |Â
âIt doesnât feel like Christmas.â Alex took a sip of the hot chocolate sheâd just gotten, wincing a little at the burn as she sat down between Opie and Jax.Â
âThis is California. I mean if youâre expectin snow, then youâre shit outta luck.â Opie laughed as he watched his kids playing, trying to engate Layla in a game of tag. Nodding towards her, Alex mused aloud, âGuess we all know who youâll be kissing under the mistletoe, Winston.â
âPossibly.â Opie shrugged and eyed Alex. Jax cleared his throat and spoke up. â You almost sound jealous there, kid.â
âFor the last time, Jax.. It is Alex. Or Alexandra. Or X. Iâm not a kid anymore.â Alex took a few more sips before she added quickly, âAnd for the record, no. Iâm not jealous. What the hell are you implying, Jax?â
âOh, just that Iâm not blind.â Jax smirked and chuckled as he shook his head when Chibs made his way into the garage and naturally, Alexâs eyes darted straight for the man. Oh, he wasnât crazy about it, but Chibs wasnât the worst guy out there.
⊠no one ever wants family to willingly marry into this shit though⊠look what happened to Donna earlier this year⊠Jax ignored the thought in favor of clearing his throat and nodding to Opie over Alexâs shoulder. âWe gotta roll. Go see a man about a thing.â
âYeah, you two do that. No explosions though!â Alex called out to her brothers and she went back to sipping her hot chocolate, eyes darting over the newspaper. She didnât have to look up from the newspaper to know sheâd find Chibs sitting next to her. She could just sort of sense him lurking there, feel the weight of his stare.
âWhatâs up?â Alex couldnât bring herself to look over at the Scottish biker. Not when what sheâd done not too long ago still burned in her mind every single time she did. Or sheâd think about how it felt, sitting there in that dingy hospital room, holding his hand while he was out.Â
If heâd heard a single thing she said, oh man⊠That thought had her sighing and shaking her head at herself. What she needed to do was get a grip. People were starting to pick up on the tension between them entirely too easy now and Alex didnât want Chibs to think she didnât think of him as a friend any longer.
Chibs stared at the bottle in front of him and cleared his throat. He almost said something, but all he could do was stare.. And remind himself again for the millionth time why anything between them was not a good idea, no matter how bad he wanted that very thing.Â
But he had to say something. Try to explain himself. Try to tell her why heâd been scarce lately, why things felt so strained. He dragged a hand through his hair and nodded to the newspaper. âDinnae think yah wanted tâ be bloody depressed. Datâs whatâll come of yâ readin âat.âÂ
⊠Fuck, that was about the lamest bloody thing yâ couldâve said, Filip⊠he even wanted to cringe at himself. Alex shrugged and looked up at him and the second he saw the hot chocolate over her lip, he gulped and tried to pull his eyes away.
This was so awkward and so much harder than it had to be already.
But he couldnât. He reached out, tearing away a paper towel and leaned in closer to her, dabbing the stiff paper at her upper lip as he muttered, âYah had a hot chocolate mustache, X.â
âOkay?â Alex eyed him, hoping to God he didnât pick up on the way her breath hitched at the touch or the way that for a split second, even as his rough hand and the rough paper towel moved over her skin, she was thinking about that night and how good it was going before he ran out on it all and that yeah, maybe her eyes fluttered open and shut for a tenth of a second. She coughed to cover her own sudden tension and when he reached over, taking her cup, she followed the movement of cup to lip with her eyes, swallowing hard.
The fact that sheâd declared her love for the man when he wasnât conscious was taunting her, daring her to do something, to be brave this once but then she thought about him bolting and sighed, going quiet. Mostly in sheer frustration.
They barely managed to be around one another now without this extreme layer of tension lingering awkwardly. Yet neither of them really mentioned anything. And both pretended that nothing was wrong.
Everything was wrong. Everything.
Alexâs sigh had Chibs swallowing hard as he held the cup back out to her, nose wrinkled. âEtâs too damn sweet, X.âÂ
âYou seriously just took my hot cocoa to drink and now youâre complaining about it being too sweet?â Alex gave a soft laugh and Chibs shrugged, a smirk tugging his lips upward, making her stare at them a little harder.
She took the paper towel and leaned in, dabbing it over his mouth. âSomeone wants to talk about my mustache. Yours was worse, Filip.â
âWas et now?â Chibs was leaning in a little more, heart hammering away like it was going to burst right out of his chest cavity. He licked his lips and chuckled. âI doubt it.â his tone was lower, huskier. When he raised his hand, Alex swallowed hard and for a second she thought maybe heâd kiss her.
âI miss thâ way it used to be.â
Alex nodded, pushing down everything she really wanted to let out at the moment. âMe too.â she kept it short and simple. Maybe it was for the best. Maybe it had to be this way. The last thing everyone needed was yet more tension in the club.
⊠but what about what I want and need, damn it?....
Chibs eyed her, a concerned look. Her tone had been flat, almost hollow. He sighed and shook his head, taking a sip from his own bottle as he grimaced at the mix of alcohol and cocoa in his mouth. âDo yâ really?â
Alex took a deep breath and coaxed herself into a more convincing voice when she answered. âI really do. Iâm just kind of not feeling today.â
âAh, neither am I.â Chibs admitted, staring at her lips for a few seconds. What he wouldnât do to just kiss her right now. To throw caution out the window and just let go.
⊠but letting go may not be dâ best thing⊠thereâs the club and thereâs what happened tâ Donna and yâ know youâd die if it happened tâ X⊠Luckily for both of them, Tig called Chibs over before things could get any further tension filled. Chibs told her that heâd see her later at the club house and Alex nodded, trying not to stare at him as he walked away, but failing miserably. When he was deep in conversation with Tig, she sighed and put down the newspaper, standing.Â
Maybe if she got away from here, went to talk to Gemma or something.. She just knew from all that transpired just now that things couldnât go back to the way they had been.. They could only blossom or die.
Personally, Alex wasnât willing to risk finding out. Not when Chibs obviously didnât return her feelings. His actions just now, while more than she expected, were a perfect wake up call.. She had to try and work around everything she felt or she had to continue avoiding him.
Tig eyed Alex leaving and he remarked with a shrug, âSeems like you two barely talk anymore.â
âDonât bloody start witâ me, Trager. Tell me what yâ wanted.â
âWe have an errand.â Tig answered and Chibs nodded, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it up. âWell then. Letâs get tâ it.âÂ
He watched Alex leaving the garage and he sighed to himself. He couldnât just keep everything he felt in much longer. Just now, heâd been dangerously close to caving.
Maybe avoiding her for now was the best thing for both of them.
#fake fic title#fake fic title - sons of anarchy - chibs telford#chibs fanfiction#chibs fanfic#chibs one shot#chibs drabble#FOR REAL THO.. GO READ DON'T FEAR THE REAPER#vonschweetz
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So uh here's my newest f/o
I'm now shipping myself with a character from a 70s christmas special you know the funny thing about me shipping with the snow miser is that I hate cold weather a lot but hey I'll just bundle up and he'll have to deal with my body heat (he actually doesn't really mind my body heat surprisingly)
Anyways he's a silly little guy and I love him <3
Pro.shippers/com.shippers DNI please
#snow miser x alex#new f/o#safeship#safeshipping#safeship community#self ship#self shipping#self ship community#f/o#fictional other#f/o community#fictional other community#romantic f/o#romantic fictional other#selfship#selfship community#trans self shipper#autistic self shipper#fictoromantic#fictosexual#ficto community#gif#gif warning
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Sad Songs
- Paralyzed by NF
- All Too Well by Taylor Swift
- Wait by NF
- I Found by Amber Run
- Sorry by Halsey
- Say Something by A Great Big World
- Say Something by Pentatonix (originally by A Great Big World)
- The Night We Met by Lord Huron
- Iâll Be Good by Jaymes Young
- Stone Cold by Demi Lovato
- Amnesia by 5 Seconds Of Summer
- All I Want by Kodaline
- The World Is Ugly by My Chemical Romance
- The Light Behind Your Eyes by My Chemical Romance
- The Forgotten by Green Day
- Broken Home by 5 Seconds Of Summer
- Brother by Falling In Reverse
- Invisible by 5 Seconds Of Summer
- Day Is Gone by Noah Gundersen
- Lights by BattleMe
- Hey Hey, My My by BattleMe
- Come Join The Murder by The White Buffalo
- Family by Noah Gundersen
- Call Me by Shinedown
- Be Alright by Dean Lewis
- Little Do You Know by Alex & SierraÂ
- Roslyn by Bon Iver
- Save Myself by Ed Sheeran
- Supermarket Flowers by Ed Sheeran
- Through The Ghost by Shinedown
- Miserable At Best by Mayday Parade
- Angles by Khalid
- Coaster by Khalid
- Tess-Timony by Ice Nine Kills
- Millenia (acoustic) by Crown The Empire
- As Real As You And Me by Rihanna
- Saturn by Sleeping At Last
- All About Me by New Medicine
- We Are Broken by Paramore
- Happier by Ed Sheeran
- Already Gone by Sleeping At Last
- Safe & Sound by Taylor Swift
- Atlas: Touch by Sleeping At Last
- Funeral Bell by Phildel
- Half A Man by Dean Lewis
- Goodbye by Cage The Elephant
- Breathe by Taylor Swift ft. Colbie Caillat
- See You Again by Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth
- Shrike by Hozier
- Slow It Down by The Lumineers
- Skinny Love by Birdy
- Not About Angels by Birdy
- Possibility by Lykke Li
- Heart Of Stone by IkoÂ
- So Cold by Ben Cocks
- Wait by M83
- Waving Through A Window by Ben Platt
- End Of You And Me by B O O T H
- Last Kiss by Taylor Swift
- Vale (This Is Where It Ends) by Black Veil Brides
- Leave A Light On by Tom Walker
- The Doctor Said by Chloe Adams
- Skyscraper by Demi Lovato
- Remembering Sunday by All Time Low
- I Almost Do by Taylor Swift
- Cancer by My Chemical Romance
- Six Feet Under by Billie Eilish
- How To Save A Life by The Fray
- The Last Time by Taylor Swift ft. Gary Lightbody
- Impossible Year by Panic! At The Disco
- Friend, Please by Twenty One Pilots
- Before You Start Your Day by Twenty One Pilots
- Truce by Twenty One Pilots
- Chasing Cars by Sleeping At Last (originally by Snow Patrol)
- Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol
- New Yearâs Day by Taylor Swift
- Mercy (acoustic) by Shawn Mendes
- Demons by Imagine Dragons
- What A Catch, Donnie by Fall Out Boy
- Good Enough by Cimorelli
- Another Empty Bottle by Katy McAllister
- Human by Christina Perri
- Stay With Me by Sam Smith
- Therapy by All Time Low
- All The Angels by My Chemical Romance
- I Believe by Christina Perri
- Unsteady by X Ambassadors
- In My Veins by Andrew Belle
-Â âRead All About It, Pt. 2âł by Emeli Sande
- Hurts Like Hell by Fleurie
- Brother by Kodaline
- Small Bump by Ed Sheeran
- Believe by Hollywood Undead
- Pour Me by Hollywood Undead
- Rain by Hollywood Undead
- All Of The Stars by Ed Sheeran
- Million Reasons by Lady Gaga
- Heavenâs Gate by Fall Out Boy
- Titanium by Madilyn Bailey
- Early Sunsets Over Monroeville by My Chemical Romance
- Forever Young by Audra Mae And The Forest Rangers
- The A Team By Ed Sheeran
- Let I Go by James Bay
- Whatsername by Green Day
- March To The Sea by Twenty One Pilots
- Too Good At Goodbyes by Sam Smith
- Home by Machine Gun Kelly
- Praying by Cimorelli (originally by Kesha)
- How To Save A Life by Tyler Ward (originally by The Fray)
- White Horse by Taylor Swift
- Give Me Love by Ed Sheeran
- Friends by Ed Sheeran
- Itâs Not Over by Secondhand Serenade
- Waves by Dean Lewis
- Youâre Nor Sorry by Taylor Swift
- Invisible by Taylor Swift
- Golden by Fall Out Boy
- Done For You by Black Veil Brides
- All Too Well by Against The Current (originally by Taylor Swift)
- Iâll Always Remember You by Hannah MontanaÂ
- A Perfectly Good Heart by Taylor Swift
- Cold As You by Taylor Swift
- Too Young by Sabrina Carpenter
- Stay The Same by Mayday Parade
- Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade
- If I Die Young by The Band Perry
- Savior by Black Veil Brides
- Sad Beautiful Tragic by Taylor Swift
- You Found Me by The Frays
-Â Lie To Me by 5 Seconds Of Summer
- Ghost Of You by 5 Seconds Of Summer
- Close As Strangers by 5 Seconds Of Summer
- Honest by Mali-Koa
- My Love by Sia
- Beside You by 5 Seconds of Summer
- White Lie by The Lumineers
- Boulevard Of Broken Dreams by Scott Bradleeâs Post Modern Jukebox (originally by Green Day)
- Hold Onto Me by Mayday Parade
- Terrible Things by Mayday Parade
- In The Mourning by Paramore
- Hate To See Your Heartbreak by Paramore
- Outside by Hollywood Undead
- From The Ground by Hollywood Undead
- Make It Rain by Ed Sheeran
- Walls by The Lumineers
- Mars by Sleeping At Last
- Oh Lord by NF
- Footprints by Molly Kate Kestner
- Gale Song by The Lumineers
- The Kids From Yesterday by My Chemical Romance
-. When The Darkness Comes by Colbie Caillat
- Never Grow Up by Taylor Swift
- Lead Me Out Of The Dark by Crown The Empire
- Do I Wanna Know by Hozier (originally by The Arctic Monkeys)
- Hold Me While You Wait by Lewis Capaldi
- Dust To Dust by The Civil Wars
- Drown by Tyler Joseph
- Rehab by Machine Gun Kelly
- Cold by AqualungÂ
- Time Stops by Starbenders
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Night In
Title: Night In
Pairing: Sam x Reader
Characters: Sam, Dean, Reader, OFC (L)
Word Count: 670
Warnings: mild talk of periods, crap fic because I suck
Prompt: The Year Without A Santa Claus
Summary: Y/N, Sam, Dean and Deanâs girlfriend (L) all spend a night watching one of the oddest Christmas movies out there. After leaving, Sam suggests a little movie night of their own.
A/N: Okay, so this is a very rushed drabble but the fic I had planned for today just did not want to be written and I didnât want to leave yâall without a fic. I will be posting two fics tomorrow to make up for this rushed job. So there will be 26 fics this Christmas, just deal with it.
This is Day 22 of 25 Days of Christmas. Check out the full masterlist here!
The holly jolly tune of âThe Year Without A Santa Clausâ rang through the speakers in Deanâs room. He sat on the edge of the bed, his girlfriend sitting right next to him. You planted yourself between your best friend and Sam, leaning into Samâs shoulder.
âThis is the best idea weâve ever had,â you said, turning to your best friend and she nodded in agreement.
âEspecially⊠now,â L laughed, watching as Dean scrunched up his nose.
âItâs still weird that you two are synced together, you know.â
âActually, itâs totally normal,â you corrected. âWhen you get to be that close with another girl, things mesh.â
âAt least you both know when itâs coming,â your best friend teased, elbowing Dean in the side.
âWe know when to stay away,â Sam laughed. âStay far, far away and huddle together and brace ourselves for whatâs about to come.â
âThis movie always used to freak me out,â Deanâs girlfriend commented. âItâs the way their bodies move. I donât like it.â
âI only really like it for the Heat and Snow Miser song,â you giggled, biting into a dark chocolate bar. Sam opened his mouth, leaning over to sneak a bit. âHey!â
âI bought it. I deserve a bite,â he said around a mouthful. You rolled your eyes. It was too hard to be mad at him, or even pretend to be mad at him.
âHow weird would it be if Santa was real and there was a Christmas without him? I mean, thereâs no way heâd never be sick. Do you think heâd just push through?â Dean had a lot of questions about the movie. Your best friend was asleep, her head resting on Deanâs thigh and his hands stroking through her hair. You were starting to get drowsy, but still awake enough to hold a conversation.
âThereâs gotta be a backup, ya know? Or some sort of magic there that allows Santa health for one night a year,â you answered.
âMan, Iâd like that magic spell or whatever,â he laughed.
âBe careful what you wish for,â Sam commented. âYou know our job. Some sneaky witch could be listening in right now.â
âUnless itâs whatsername from Oz is back, I donât think we have any witches living in the bunker,â Dean explained. âThis place is pretty well warded, I think weâre good.â
L stirred in Deanâs lap. Sam smiled, taking your hand. âI think itâs time we hit the hay too,â he smiled, pulling you from bed.
âThanks for the movie night, Dean,â You hummed. âSee you in the morning.â
âYou owe me breakfast,â he reminded. You sighed, remembering your little deal. Movie night in his room if you and L cooked breakfast in the morning.
âYeah, you tell L that when she wakes up.â
Sam walked you down the hall. He did this silly thing where heâd wrap his arms around your waist, and waddle with you, wanting to stay as close as possible. Sometimes heâd rest his head on your shoulder or the top of your head, and other times heâd just keep it still and looking straight on. It was cute and he was warm, and the pressure on your cramping stomach made the period pains a little more bearable.
This time, as he walked, he snuggled his face into your neck, placing light little kisses there. âI love you, Y/N,â he whispered, opening the door to your shared room and without letting you drift too far, walking in with you.
âI love you too, Sam,â you told him, tipping your head to the side so his lips would meet yours.
âYou tired?â He asked, finally letting go of you so you could change into more comfortable pajamas.
âSort of. Why?â
âI was thinking we could watch another movie in here. One that doesnât have creepy stop-motion animation.â
âLike?â
âElf?â Sam suggested. You nodded, crawling under the covers. You only made it to the narwhal telling Buddy he hopes he finds his dad, before falling fast asleep.
Forever Tags: @iwantthedean @a-fan-fighting-for-equality @smoothdogsgirl @jayankles@faegal04 @feelmyroarrrr @27bmm @maddieburcham1 @melonshino @sayukoi@impalaimagining @riversong-sam @atc74 @goldenolaf25 @plaidstiel-wormstache@thegrouchiestunicorn @thebitterbookeater @growningupgeek @sandle44 @rda1989@weasleywinchester @fightmenegan @itsmyeffingstory @angelblazon @mrswhozeewhatsis@meeshw777 @jotink78 @poukothenerd @mogaruke @devilgirlsarah @queencflair @hexparker@ruprecht0420 @summer-binging-spn @holychuckitsthewinchesters @super100012 @jerk-bitch-and-an-angel @supernatural-jackles @taste-of-dean @casownsmyass @danradislife@holyfuckloueh @hsjolie @winchester-negan @emoryhemsworth @i-am-enough-always@samisimportant @brooke-supernatural16 @there-must-be-a-lock @greys-anatomy839@babytheimpalaimagines @obsessivecompulsivespn @superapplepie @esoltis280@mirandaaustin93
Sam Tags: @wildfirewinchester @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @katie-the-writer@lenawiinchester @bambinovak @lavieenlex @legend-o-zelda @20secspnfam4@barbedwireandbubblegum @lipstickandwhiskey @bemyqueenofdarkness @waiting4thedoctor@snarkpunsandsarcasm @itssierramcquade @xinyourdreamsx @blue-heaven-winchestergirl83@alwaysbummedout @born-to-be-his-baby88
25 Days of Christmas Tags: @alex-zeppelin @imagineplotfulcharacters @alwaysbummedout
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#sam winchester x reader#sam winchester fic#sam winchester fanfic#sam winchester fluff#sam winchester#sam x reader#supernatural fic#supernatural fanfic#supernatural fluff#supernatural#spn fic#spn fanfic#spn fluff#spn#25 days of christmas#jpadjackles 25 days of christmas#a jpadjackles production
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Written on the body: 2016 in photos.
,(This is the latest I have ever written this post, but the theme of 2016 has been âplease be patient with me, Iâm doing the best I can,â so it seems sort of appropriate.)Â
New Yearâs DayÂ
âWhat has been really nice about this year, I think, is that I kept a lot of it to myself. I spent time with the people that mattered to me and I didnât feel like I needed to explain why things were important to me.âÂ
This is how I wrapped up the end of my 2015 post. The first hour of 2016 started with a boy yelling at me outside a bar, demanding to explain why I would want to be alone when he was willing to be my boyfriend. I went back to Moiraâs apartment with Mae and Katie, where we snuggled up in one bed like we had done so many times in the nineteen years behind us. Later that day, Frank came over and fulfilled my Christmas wish for girl power and a gypsy curse (Hunger Makes Me A Modern Girl and a rusted sailorâs compass that spins around despite sitting still are sitting on my desk at this very moment). We had a horror movie marathon and killed a bottle of Jameson while we ate baby carrots and screeched on my couch.Â
So, really, the first morning of 2016 started with this thought: Donât let people who treat you unfairly stick around. Take a self portrait and move the hell forward.
JanuaryÂ
Photo: Juliette SandleitnerÂ
Photo: Alyssa RothÂ
The rest of January was really good to me, despite some hard stuff.Â
I went on a secret date with a mutual friend that turned into a lot of dates. I was advised by a lot of people not to, but Iâm still glad I did and hope heâs glad too. I Â went to a housewarming party that ended in me standing outside my exâs house while it rained sideways and I tried to reason with myself. I donât remember why you ran outside or what we talked about, but I remember hoping we wouldnât have the opportunity to talk again so I wouldnât need to keep choosing over and over. I decided that there is no real time to say good bye and that the things you love will eventually just stop showing up.Â
A big snowstorm hit. I spent the better part of it walking through the streets with Frank and Finley, drinking bad whiskey from the fish flask and being grumpy old men. I drove up to the Ghost Ranch the moment the roads cleared and spent the day drinking basil gimlets in a snow fort and shoveling out peopleâs cars.
I went to Mariaâs house to have a silly afternoon of shooting and eating burgers with her, Alyssa, Juliette (who I had not seen in over two years), Annalise, and Eden. All of the snow from the week before had melted almost overnight and it was warm enough to walk around without a coat.Â
Other things about January: Mae and Katie and I founded B.Y.O.M. (bring your own mom), which basically just meant getting blitzed off $2 margaritas with our moms. I went to visit Max and saw the âwoods behind my houseâ that I had been hearing about for the better half of the year and watched The Prisoner. Mae and I went to brunch a lot and got a matching pair of parking tickets. I started working at a tequila bar with Frank.Â
Most importantly, maybe, was the beginning of the thought that I wasnât doing what I should be doing.Â
FebruaryÂ
âRabbit, Rabbitâ
February was another big month. I housesat for my godfather and spent a week and a half with my golden retriever babe counterpart, Mollie. Mae and I got accidentally-on-purpose mimosa drunk and met Cory Booker at a Clean Ocean Action rally. Max came to visit; I cut his beard and showed him Pershing Field, where we saw the best sunset Iâve ever seen in person. I took my shoes off and broke some pieces of ice in the ocean with my bare toes.Â
I made a weird (but, in retrospect, funny) mistake, had a bad day, and saw a different sunset in the same spot with Frank. Mae and I got into a fight and made up. It snowed again. I made a bunch of Star Wars valentines. I went to Maxâs birthday (X-Files pennant in tow) and met twenty people in one night. Meg and I hung out alone for the first time and got a little drunk at a Bond St. music video filming while making new friends and dragging egotistical boys.
I went on the worst! Date! Of all! Time! Itâs my favorite anecdote now. Iâm still convinced I was on a prank show somewhere.
Frank and I saw Jenny Lewis perform her Rabbit Fur Coat ten year anniversary show, which ended up being one of the best shows Iâve ever seen. I watched Jenny Lewis, tiny and string and mighty, reduced a sold-out 2,900 seat house to pin-drop silence when she sang Happy without a mic.Â
Frank and I saw another show a week later (Mary Lattimore/Julia Holter) and ate clementines and giggled about the secacu pail tation and decided that most things in life can be sorted out in the morning (unless you sleep through work the next day, which I did).Â
This was also the drunken movie night couch sesh that ended with a reprimand from my mother because she was worried Frank was going to drunkenly freeze to death in the snow walking the two blocks back to his house. To this day, Frank claims my mother is the only one who has ever worried about him actually dying in a ditch.
Excessive amounts of laughing and drinking with Frank aside, I started spending a lot of time alone and celebrating that. I started a little series about documenting my life alone vs. with a partner, as this was my first year alone in almost four years.Â
I went to the Cold War Surf party with Brie and Dave and spent most of the night talking to their friend about PA school. I hadnât seen Dave since the summer and I hadnât seen Brie so happy in a long while. I went on a date with a photographer the next day and left early because I felt sick. He said leap days cause bad luck and universal unsteadiness, but I told him it was just a  hangover. It was the flu.Â
MarchÂ
Spent the first week of March melted to my couch with the flu. I shook myself out of it just in time to make a job interview and meet Vicky for her week back in America. We spent too much money on burgers in Crown Heights, but I was so happy to see her and so sad to say good bye. She played me a love song she recorded on her phone while I battled my way through Brooklyn traffic to drop her off.
My flight for Anna Kateâs wedding in Georgia was the next day. It was my first time taking a plane on my own and my first time being a bridesmaid. It feels a little cheap to write about this now, honestly- I think I felt better in four days than Iâd felt all year. I finally got to see my best college friendâs town and house and family and meet her in-laws. Everyone was so kind and warm and accommodating (even the Georgia weather) and I really felt a great deal of sadness when I left.Â
Back at home, it snowed a little more and I showed Frank and Finley my secret beach. The tide was too high to make it to the voodoo bunker, so we stuck a pin in it. The pinâs there for now, along with other things. We started spending a lot of nights in his backyard raging with the fire pit, baby carrots, and a witch of the wood.Â
I spent a lot of March in a weird place and living in terms of âthis time last year.â It felt like there were a million other Elises living their lives differently just out of my periphery. Still with Alex, still in school, someplace I couldnât imagine. I knew I didnât want any of those things, really, but I got caught up in the missing and the wanting instead of trying to change my life.Â
I was still seeing a person I shouldnât have been seeing, letting myself feel guiltier and guiltier. I went to Megâs show in West Long Branch and drank a milkshake (because I wasnât through pretending I wasnât lactose intolerant) and it was sick-sweet and I sat on a barstool sick and sweet and sad, a stomach to match a mood.Â
Brighter side: Mae and Frank and I went to see Girlpool, found a Jurassic Park themed bathroom in a pho place, and didnât get ticketed parking in Brooklyn. My two best friends got along so well and it made me feel appreciative and lame and lucky.Â
I think March is when I started seeing a reporter, but Iâm not sure now.Â
AprilÂ
April was good and bad. I went on a lot of interviews for jobs I didnât want, went on a lot of dates with a reporter I liked, and went for a lot of walks with different people. My anxiety was mean, uncontrollable, and manifested physically most days. Wilco got sick at the beginning of the month and I spent a lot of time curled up in bed with him, which was something I needed almost as much as he did. We were both tired out and needed each other.Â
I turned 24, and it was the first birthday I wasnât sad about for a long time. Mae, Brie, and I celebrated two birthdays at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden and had the nicest day. Mae made me a Twin Peaks necklace on the laser cutter and I donât think Iâve ever been more careful with another piece of jewelry.Â
I had lunch with an ex and they asked me to come back, which I could not bear to consider.Â
Still, I was happy. Things were nice, and I was happy and appreciative. When things were good, I felt like if all of life were that nice, I wouldnât appreciate anything. The bad days made the good ones, if that makes sense. If I woke up miserable and cranky, I knew Iâd be better for it, because every nice thing might feel even a fraction as good as a truly good day. Itâs a backwards way to live, but it was how I was living at the time.Â
I saw Colin Hay with Mike, the reporter, and Frankie Cosmos/Eskimeaux with Frank. The Frankie show was the first time we were one of the oldest people in the audience, and we celebrated by eating Cracker Barrel and wearing plastic sandals. We also spent a lot of time raging in the backyard, firing up Finley, and witching in the woods. One day I met all three cats, hung out with his whole family for the first time in the longest time, and we found out worms move really fast. Like, really fast, guys. Also, a tub of pretzel rods that had been moving between our houses finally met itâs bitter end.Â
I donât know how I forgot about this until now, but Frank and I also saw Rihanna the day before my birthday and then followed it up with a visit to the Wonder Bar on my birthday, which was much less eventful and involved leaving Frank to talk to someone from high school while I danced. If a human look could convey that shriek R2D2 does, that would be the look Frank was giving me at that moment.
I went to visit Max again. We split a turkey sandwich, helped his mom set up a printer, and went off-roading in the pine barrens.
Erica and I tried to go biking at Sandy Hook, but I popped my tire shoving my bike into the trunk. We walked up and down the bayside of the hook, flew kites, and visited the voodoo beach before it got dark.
Went on a few brunch dates with Mike, accompanied by some of my friends and then his dog and then alone. He was a good sport when Mae and Taylor accused him of being a murderer for having two phones and his dogâs name started with an L and that is honestly and truly all I can remember about this person I knew for the better part of two months.Â
May
The Dead End Kids \m/Â
May was filled with work and friends and more work. Starting with work: I began my stint with the escape room, which proved to be a nonstop hell ride where I met a handful of really good pals, including Shayne and Laura. Itâs also where I started put all of my weird feelings and doubts to bed, which was a good feeling after a long time. I also started working at Stone Dog, a female-founded scenic shop that had just moved to my hometown. It was good to be doing carpentry and design nonstop with patient and fun coworkers. At this point, I was already making plans to go back to school, so the enormous pressure I had felt at my previous creative jobs had up and vanished. I felt nervous, free, excited for my life, and happy with a secret. I was still at the tequila bar, but I was working most of my shifts with Frank and had hit a happy groove with my routine.Â
My mom and I got drunk at motherâs day brunch and my dad needed to pack us into the backseat to drive us home. I was still seeing Mike at this point, I think, and other Mike (my favorite bartender) asked me about him. We broke things off a week later for lack of feelings, and I wish every conversation could be as easy as that one.Â
Katie graduated, which left me in happy, proud tears. She came home and slept for a full day.Â
I went kayaking with Erica and her (at the time) new boyfriend, Timmy. It was the last time I saw her with blue hair and the first time I saw her so happy with a partner. Theyâre still together and, while I donât see her as often lately, Iâm happy when I think about where she is in her life.Â
Waj joined the Peace Corps and had a going away barbecue before he left for China. That was one of my favorite nights of the summer. Mae and I decided to bike (which was a way better decision when we were sober and not drunkenly trying to get uphill so we could go to bed at 2 am). We started a wheels gang called the Dead End Kids with Jake, Nick, Luke, and Paul. Little did we know, weâd be starting the summerâs most potent curse, but more on that later. Anyways, it was nice to reunite with people I really, really loved while saying good bye to one of our best.Â
I had many more backyard nights with my great aunts / wiz bang gang / goo goo dogs  (Frank + Finley).Â
JuneÂ
When you realize you matched your outfits and your ice cream conesÂ
June started off in Annapolis, Maryland, where Stone Dog had sent me for a set install. Â I would go on to install an MTV set a week later and throw up in a gender-neutral bathroom between raising Hollywood flats a week and a half later.
Robbie graduated, which was one of the best days. We had a graduation party two weeks later with our whole family, which was weird and surprisingly nice. Colin and Ashley also had a barbecue to celebrate their new house and engagement.Â
Mae and Frank and I went to our second big concert together (well, Northside Festival). We saw Wolf Parade, ate vegan ice cream, played with tiny hands and street sharks, and laughed way too much and often. We also all matched outfits like any proper girl gang.Â
The biggest update of them all came in June: telling my family about my intention to go back to school and become a physicianâs assistant. To save time, hereâs my post from June about it:Â
âAfter a year of working perfect, career-making carpentry and set design jobs, Iâm realizing the reason Iâve been miserable for five years hasnât been because my personal strides in life and mental health havenât been good enough. Itâs because I truly hate what I do.Â
I love carpentry, and I love art and design. I feel the small rush of job satisfaction every once in a while, but it shouldnât take a 24 hr Thanksgiving Day Parade shift to give me joy. This career has only made me feel small and useless, and my contempt for feeling like what Iâm doing doesnât matter has only grown over time. Iâm twenty four. I shouldnât be so consistently unhappy with what Iâm doing. I should have been feeling joy when I was nineteen and going to school for set design, not utter annihilation.
I can blame my professors or that one summer or sexism in the workplace, but I canât make excuses for all of those nights when I was eighteen and nineteen and wishing I had gone into the medical field. I canât ignore being twenty two and twenty three and twenty four and feeling like my life was over and that I had made the biggest mistake of my life. Iâm so young and I have so much velocity and I will never, ever have as much energy as I do now to make a change.Â
Iâve had the best possible run in the art field and will continue to do so while I complete the undergraduate prerequisites required to pursue being a physicianâs assistant. I know this sounds like a big announcement, but it really isnât- I just need a small outlet (this blog) to take a baby step and feel like I have a little support while I transition into a new part of my life.Â
I feel good. I feel so good. While I was in college, I didnât plan for growing up and being an adult with a career. I planned on being a girl who would die from depression before I ever needed to make longterm plans for happiness. The past few weeks of planning have been some of the happiest days of adulthood Iâve ever felt. I feel so renewed and I canât wait for it, all of it- studying and volunteering and going into a new career humbled and vulnerable and ready to learn.
Anyways, there it is- somewhere.
Itâs time to lean the hell in.â
So, there it is. I was finally moving forward, registering for prerequisite classes, and seeking out EMS shifts for my volunteer hours. Iâd been planning it for months, but I knew I wouldnât have much time to think once I started. I was keeping up my hours at escape room, working on designs for a new room, and counting on that job to carry me through classes.Â
Other things: Getting close and then very far away from a coworker and friend, putting all of my trust in the wrong people, a drunk girl reading my palm from the sidewalk outside the bar, and the end of a long soreness while I watched someone I cared about very much fall in love.Â
JulyÂ
I didnât take a single photo with my camera in July. July was a rush of plastic bag cellphone photos, cherry-stained teeth, and fourteen hour work days. Work at the escape room was both really good and really bad. I was getting closer to Shayne and Laura, managing my own schedule, and had a constant influx of weird projects and challenges. It was, however, coming at a cost: growing anxieties about being around people who both wanted and despised me, dealing with our crook of a boss, spending too many hours and too much money, and not prioritizing other things. On the bright side, I did get a perfect grade in my first responder respiratory class.
It was around this time that Frank and I started talking seriously about moving in together, which is sweet and a little dumb in retrospect. I had just agreed to take on five more years of school, so I donât know why I thought shaking up my living arrangements could be in the cards for me. We also had an incredibly uncomfortable third of July, giggled about handwrittens, and saved the backyard witch from burning.
Mae moved home and started working on the boardwalk, so I spent a lot of time running her hoagitos and taking walks up and down the boardwalk alone until she was done closing up shop. Thoughts on Mae at this time:Â âSuper thankful all the time for a best friend who constantly makes me feel like I deserve everything, even if I donât feel like I deserve her when weâre apart.â
Also: Modest Mouse x Brand New at the Mann in Philly, which involved mixing Mae / Brie / Dave with Shayne. Also saw the Dolphin clan (and actually, now that I think of it, this may have been the last time I saw Max).Â
Frank had to drop out of our Panorama plans last-minute, so Mae and I had an unbelievably cool day on Randallâs Island. We ate popsicles, stood in lots of lines, and proved that we could find a pair of hammocks in literally any environment. We saw The Front Bottoms, Kurt Vile, and (in one of the few self-actualizing moments of my short life) LCD Soundsystem. It was a hundred degrees, but it turns out Maeâs longtime wet neck bandana trick had actually become a fashion staple in 2016, so we fit in with the best of them.Â
Also: Went on a few dates with the local candy factory ownerâs son, was still too old for me, can never visit Old Mâ Candies again.Â
Also also: Started the most ill-advised project with Shayne and Luke at escape room. The only positive was getting to build things (like a glow in the dark table) and a lot of gin and tonics.Â
Also also also: Ill-advised lifeguard stand kisses at Birthmae, starting another cycle I do not regret.Â
Also also also also: Wishing I had listened to A and kept someone at an armâs length.Â
August
August was mostly good, partly bad. The âmostlyâ is the things that happened and the people I spent my time with, the âpartlyâ is everything I let myself get caught up in.Â
I met a girl in a bar that told me ghosts come in intervals of three years, and I thought about that a lot in the coming weeks. Felt raw and wide open to things that were far behind me and let myself get caught in that cycle of grief.Â
Was still at escape room every day, fighting the good (and sometimes petty) fight. Shayne and I started taking turns throwing knives into the wall and spackling the holes back up a lot, at least. We also packed in a car to Pennsylvania to see Frank and Sarah in their play.Â
I went to Colorado with my family and saw landscapes I hadnât ever seen, took too few pictures, and spent most of my time profoundly distracted by my future.
Mae and I saw a lot of movies on the roof of the Baronet, Dave and I finally saw our overdue Night Vale live show, and I made more and more ill-advised decisions I just cannot regret.Â
I finally drove up to visit Loretta after a year or two of phone conversations, KFC and white zinfandel in tow (her request). I was only the second visitor she had since moving into the nursing home a month and a half prior. I didnât know how to explain her to my friends- âmy dead friendâs grandmotherâ just didnât seem appropriate, but âa friend almost four times my ageâ didnât either.Â
I also had my first friend date with Laura. We split a basket of fries with a dog on the patio of Bond St. and then waited patiently after that dog fell asleep on me, went to a show at the Parlor Gallery, visited Mae on the boardwalk, and got our futures read by a group of chain-vaping psychics. My psychic said I was full of darkness and stone and that my sisterâs name started with a K. Lauraâs psychic said she would marry someone soon and we both cackled our way down the boardwalk.Â
Had my last backyard rage night with Frank in August. It feels stubborn to write it down, but. He was falling in love and that was a good thing.
We got sushi and sake drunk and he decided to go fully vegetarian, so that was Frankâs last memory of fish.
SeptemberÂ
(One day before breaking my foot)Â
The very first things that happened in September: becoming the fourth victim of the Dead End Kids summer of â16 curse. After that polaroid was taken, Nick broke his collarbone long boarding, Jake broke his entire body long boarding, Paul broke his elbow longboarding, and I broke my foot in four places longboard jousting. (I named my longboard Lance, both for the 90âČs gay undertones and the jousting). Mae and Luke made it through the rest of the year unscathed.Â
So the rest of the fall happened on an air cast, which was weird and embarrassing and my second time on crutches in two years.Â
I started Medical Terminology, my first class since my decision to go back to school. I was tired and broke and broken, but that class made me feel like my life was moving in a good direction.
Luke and Shayne and I were close to finishing up our escape room, exhausted and dead inside. This is probably the last time Iâll mention it. An entitled boy made me uncomfortable and unhappy at every opportunity. Work in September was the most negative part of my life (my year) and I donât really care to think about it more than that. Â
Shayne and Laura and I continued our Monday Fundays, playing lots of shuffleboard and drinking too much gin for a weekday. In a weird way, I made more friends in a cast than I did without one. Alex started showing up, which was easy and weird and nice. We spent some time talking about a girl we both loved a whole lot and I remember feeling like it was a stroke of unbelievable, overwhelming luck for life to work out this way.
The second annual Makerâs Fest happened, in a new location and three times the size as the year before. Mae was doing henna, so I bopped (clunked) around catching up with vendors and talking to new ones.
Mae and I celebrated our twenty year anniversary living across the street from each other and being best friends. I get real sappy talking about this and Iâm trying to keep this all business, so hereâs some thoughts on that:Â âMy best friend has been my best friend for 5/6 of my life and that fraction is just going to become wider and deeper as we get older. Mae is one of those people that make you marvel at the capacity of your own heart and wonder how you could ever love someone more than you do right now and I am so, so profoundly lucky to have her in my life.â
Frank and I saw Bruce Springsteen play his longest show in history, a record he broke the next day and the next. He sang every favorite, every B-side, every song weâd driven through downtown Freehold blasting at 3 am since we were 17. It was unbelievable. It was also the last significant period of time I spent with one of my best friends, so I think about that night pretty often.
Also, I spent a lot of time on the beach shivering and finding the seven sisters.Â
OctoberÂ
âYour chest is wide open and yawning and you heart fills the room it inhabits and I wonder how you arenât eroded away to dust by now.â
October was getting to know someone new, really trying to make myself a little more open to make space for all of the new people I cared about, missing my best friends, and trying to take pictures. Despite the good stuff, I was feeling very emotionally spent.
Became closer and closer with Shayne, was happy and appreciative for life throwing me a person so good. Thought about the cyclicality of my life and relationships, how I was making another dent in another passenger seat as my space in another faded away.
We left the bar one night and kept driving and ended up on the dirt JCP+L road I had found a few summers before. We watched fog roll over the pond and parked in the middle of the woods to look at the stars. I marked âstar night- shayneâ on my calendar so I wouldn't forget it, but it seems cheap to try and write about it now.
Shayne and Laura and Alex and I went on a last-minute vacation to Sleepy Hollow on Halloween weekend. I donât think Elise from a year ago would believe that, and if she did, she wouldnât buy that I had a genuinely good time. We watched bad horror movies, had an outdoor fire, and worried about getting murdered by our preppy Airbnb host. Apparently Hillary Clinton was walking around those same woods that very same weekend, but we didnât see her.
Dan and I went to a Devilâs game and took loads of embarrassing pictures. I stared to realize that I was slowly becoming a partner.
Mae and I went as Neve Campbell and Bruce Campbell for Halloween, the closest to a coupleâs costume we had ever gotten. It was the first time I had seen her all month. Halloween was a weird night for me ultimately, but Mae was the best part.
NovemberÂ
âthe earthly and obvious parts if me are touching your face and repeating a strumming âthis is a person who loves youâ
but thereâs a loop, a pause, a gap in the human conditionÂ
endless separations and connections, tidal and vascularÂ
falling out of orbit is much easier than fighting your way back inâ
What can I say about November? Trump won the presidency, Dan and I spent the weekend hiking, I broke up with Dan, and I spent a lot of time alone on the beach. I got my cast off, put my bare feet in the sand, and waited for clarity.Â
All of my siblings were home at once. Frank and I went on a walk, I worried that Finley would not recognize me, Finley knocked me over. Thereâs a lot to say about fish flasks and nerves and secrets multiplied into a shared burden twice the size, but I wonât say any of it. It had been a long time and I felt sick and sad and nervous.Â
I took a self portrait I really, really liked. It was one of those portraits where recognized myself.Â
Still, November was a month of disconnect and I wondered how many hearts I would dig through before I found my own.
DecemberÂ
December was long and happy and lazy.Â
I made two knives, applied to jobs, babysat my golden retriever counterpart. My siblings and I were in the same house all at once. I got strep throat and spent four days glued to a bed. I got the highest grade in my medical terminology class and my teacher asked me to apply to the school she worked at when the time came. I missed Frank, Mae came home.
Lexi came to New York with Jesse and Carl. I took eight pictures, learned how to play pool, and talked about my hometown too much.
I wrote this, and itâs all I can bring myself to say about the rest of December/my overwhelming luck:
âsometimes I feel so pitch-black, so lacking and longing
you are so unconcerned with my surface and shortness and shortcomings and I just do not know how you are so gasping and wide open, so ready for me at any moment
and I think of the constant draft, the tiny bites on rawness that you must feel to be so vulnerable for me at all timesâ
What can I say about 2016? It already feels so far behind me. I guess thereâs a simple logic to doing a year in review in 2016 and not nine days later. Time is pushing ahead and I am too. Itâs the same belief that keeps me honest with my loved ones: âSay it all now, because you are running out of time.â
I never know what to do here. Usually I get to the end of my review and feel heavy with loss or exhaustion. Sometimes Iâm angry, and I can feel smoke ribbons coming out from between my teeth and making knots in the air around me. Itâs hard, digging up the evidence of your life month-by-month and trying to put words to the sum of your parts. You think you have the shape of it, that youâve smoothed it out into something you can understand, and then a sharp edge catches your finger and youâre bleeding all over again. Itâs hard to be honest, to look your past in the eyes until it blinks first, and itâs even harder to be surprised by it. I am so many different moving objects all at once, flickers and beats and wanting. My past isnât going to stay still just because I want it to.
This year feels different. Does distance grant clarity, or does change? Was this an easy year, or was it just productive? I went into this year looking over my shoulder, waiting for the things I had pushed aside to catch up to me. I realized that the thing I feared had already happened to me and was getting further and further away as time moved on. I realized that making a mistake did not mean I needed to waste my entire life trying to adapt to it. I started to let people grow on me instead of holding them at an armâs length. (Actually- I really, really loved the people I loved and started to love myself just as much or more.) I let myself make mistakes, indulged in tiny failures, and built a lot of furniture. I hustled, I planned, I rode my longboard. I got good grades (grades!) and got stoked about school. I feel weird and good, even if things look a little shaky and transitional written down.
Hereâs how I ended my 2015 year in review:
âAnyways- 2015 was really, really good to me, and I was really, really good to myself. I donât have expectations for 2016, and I donât have any goals besides pushing forward. By this time next year, I want to be looking back and remembering 2016 as hard and good progress into a life I want.â
And here I am. I already know 2017 is going to be about hustle, change, and working for the things I want.Â
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I really love this picture of snowy
Just like look at him I just love how heâs laying there on the conveyor belt with his little minions there in front of him heâs very silly and cute and handsome aaaah I love snow miser so much!!!ïżŒïżŒ ïżŒ
Pro.shippers/com.shippers DNI please
#snow miser x alex#safeship#safeshipping#safeship community#self ship#self shipping#self ship community#f/o#fictional other#f/o community#fictional other community#romantic f/o#romantic fictional other#f/o gush#selfship#selfship community#trans self shipper#autistic self shipper#fictoromantic#fictosexual#ficto community
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In a discord server Iâm in I was asked about my s/i interactions with heat miser and some other characters and this was my response
Pro.shippers/com.shippers DNI please
#snow miser x alex#safeship#safeshipping#safeship community#self ship#self shipping#self ship community#f/o#fictional other#f/o community#selfship#selfship community#nblm selfship#mlm selfship#queer selfship#autistic selfship#oc x canon#f/o x s/i#selfship thoughts#f/o thoughts#self ship thoughts#fictoromantic#fictosexual#ficto community#s/i#self insert#s/i community#self insert oc
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For the ask game : gorgeous visage and double ^-^
gorgeous visage ৠâ§âË does ur fïŸo keep photos of u in their wallet ? or do they maybe have a locket of ur hair ? what about u ? how much evidence do u keep of them in ur day to day life ?
I feel snowy would keep a picture of me (or a picture of us together) in his pocket which I just thought of him pulling it out and being like âI got a partner and you donâtâ to heat miser lol
Also I would keep a picture of me and snow miser together in my wallet
double ৠâ§âË do u and ur fïŸo have matching tattoos ? if not, would u consider getting one or two in the future ?
No and maybe? To be honest Iâm not how tattoos would work with snow because his skin is basically ice
Ask Game
Pro.shippers/com.shippers DNI please
#snow miser x alex#safeship#safeshipping#safeship community#self ship#self shipping#self ship community#f/o#fictional other#f/o community#romantic f/o#selfship#selfship community#mlm selfship#nblm selfship#queer selfship#autistic selfship#self ship ask game#selfship ask game#f/o ask game#fictoromantic#fictosexual#ficto community#trans self shipper#autistic self shipper#f/o x s/i#oc x canon
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I am currently thinking about the height difference between me and snow because holy shit he's tall af
Pro.shippers/com.shippers DNI please
#look at him!#he's so tall#I'm 5'4 btw#idk how tall he is but god#I would need a step stool to kiss him#snow miser x alex#safeship#safeshipping#safeship community#self ship#self shipping#self ship community#f/o#fictional other#f/o community#fictional other community#romantic f/o#romantic fictional other#selfship#selfship community#trans self shipper#autistic selfship#fictoromantic#fictosexual#ficto community#cw swearing
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