#snake catcher equipment

[tobytober]

Marcille is so grew up in sydney to me

modern au but set in brisbane. is this anything

[is-the-snake-video-cute]

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Ha2cJL8xNLw?feature=share

safety check? I feel like that's not how you handle cobras

Link for everyone - in this video, a snake catcher places a plastic container over a young cobra's head, then urges it to get all the way inside by touching its tail. They then slide a folder under the snake to pick up the container and flip it to place a lid on the bucket.

This is a lot better than a lot of cobra videos I see, but that's a low bar to clear and this still really isn't safe or especially wise. This would be a lot easier and safer with more appropriate equipment!

Instead of a small plastic container, there are specially-made venomous snake buckets that have locking lids and are designed to be convenient and safe to put snakes in. Speaking from experience, it takes all of thirty seconds to pick up a venomous snake with a hook, pop 'em in one of these, and get the lid locked. Way easier and safer than doing a much more high-stakes version of the "bug in a cup" method.

Venomous snakes aren't malicious, but snakes are strong and scared animals can be unpredictable, so it's never smart to handle containers holding venomous snakes like this. We're even taught to lift lids off with hooks and use hooks to hold down lids while we fasten them.

Even though this worked out well in this video, my concern with videos like these is that they might embolden viewers to handle venomous snakes without the due amounts of caution. Venomous snake removal isn't something you should DIY, wait until you have the appropriate tools (and ideally those tools in the hands of a professional!).

[faytelumos]

Worldbuilding: Inter-Species "Relations"

You're finally at the chapter where it happens. You've been building up the tension for this scene for the entire story. Your pirate captain has captured her quarry, the slippery merman who's held her most private imagination since she first saw him. They're alone now, hearts racing, eyes darkening, and neither one can deny how much they want each other. But now that it's time for these two to come together in a passionate display of mutual desire and good-old-fashioned fun, you've realized something:

You don't actually know how they fit together.

You have a vision for this story, and you specifically want a sex scene in it, so this gap of knowledge is therefore a matter of great consequence.

This guide will explore each step of this potentially tricky puzzle through the lens of analogous species of animals. However, it hopfully contains every step you need to write a cross-species encounter confidently, even if your story takes you to a magical world far, far away.

The Shape of Your Non-Human Parts

First thing's first, you'll want to figure out the equipment you're working with. The reproductive organs, like any others, are built to fulfill a need. Different animals have different needs, whether it's depositing a packet for later use, keeping unwanted mates from bearing children, or socially bonding with both male and female partners. You'll need to figure out what your creature's needs are, as this will influence the shape and position of their parts, which will, in turn, influence the positions and practices humans need to use to be compatible.

Some things to consider:

•If your creature is a quadruped, they will probably be built for a "mounted" position. This means your females will be oriented for those who are standing directly behind them. Your males may also have their parts positioned further up on their bellies, or they maybe longer or even flexible to reach.

•About 97% of birds on Earth do not have a lock and key hookup. Both sexes instead have a delicate, multi-function hole called a cloaca that they briefly kiss together to mate. Of the other 3%, some have been observed to have parts that are… fiercely competitive in nature.

•Social animal species, such as dolphins, bonobos, and bats, are more likely to get jiggy for pleasure and bonding. In the bonobo's case, some structures are also suited for use with same-sex activities. Even snakes have anatomy to make coupling enjoyable.

•If your creature has structures that would hurt humans, such as a feline's barbs, you don't have to Change Him. A silicon sheath or even a specialized condom can make all the difference. And fantasy folks, don't worry; condoms are not a modern invention.

•About 90% of fish reproduce by fertilizing eggs that are already outside of the female's body, so there's no bumping of uglies at all. The ~10% of fish that are live-bearing (such as sharks) have a fin on their underside called a gonopodium that serves that more familiar role of inception.

•Crabs tend to embrace tightly underwater for an extended period of time — up to days — while they wait for the female to molt. Once she's free of her hard shell, the male will slip special antennae into equally special pores on her underside, where she'll keep his materials until she's ready to build a clutch. (Depending on the species, the male will stay with her for protection until her new shell hardens.)

•Never be afraid to make things look and act how you want them to. As fun as researching different animal anatomy is, in the end, it's your world. And anyway, of all structures of the animal kingdoms, reproductive organs are arguably the most diverse. This means you can get as quirky and interesting as you want. There are even species where the female is the pitcher and the male is the catcher.

How Does the Human Fit In?

Now that you know what your alien captain's packing under the hood, your human lieutenant can shoot their shot. But before things can get moving, everybody needs to be in a position they can act in.

Depending on the individual, a vaguely normal timeframe for humans to go at it is 3 to 10 minutes. It may not sound like a lot of time, but that period is very physically active, and if things aren't ergonomic, it's all too easy to tire out or even get hurt. Both parties and whatever limbs they have need to be arranged in a way that isn't painful, and that allows for ease of motion. Think about where their bodies have to touch, and come up with a couple of positions that would work well. If the anatomy between parties is different enough, you may have positions your humans like more, and others that your aliens prefer.

Sex Furniture, Your Very Best Friend

In some cases, there is no "natural" way for both bodies to stay lined up. That's where the magical world of assistive furniture comes into play. If your society is sex-positive and includes both species, then the likelihood of having specialized furniture to help with love-making is extremely high.

It doesn't have to be complicated, either. It could be a large pillow with a groove to help your centaur stay straight on their back. It could be a padded block to give your satyr more traction. Or it could be a special couch that's made to put one or both parties at a favorable angle.

Remember again that whatever the furniture looks like, its purpose is to keep both (or more) individuals comfortable and (usually) able to move.

Don't Underestimate a Good Manual

If someone's put in the work to make assistive furniture, chances are someone else put in the work to make a manual. You may giggle, but sex manuals are, in fact, a thing.

This is a more in-world step, but it's worth considering. If your characters are inexperienced (either with each other's species or with sex in general), then the privacy and patience of a manual can be a life-saver. And it creates an opportunity for your characters to both crowd around an intimate instruction guide, discussing the things they do and don't like the looks of, and agree on the expectations for their encounter.

Climax and Resolution

Now that you've got it all figured out, your human and dragonkin are finally turning up the heat. But before you look up National Geographic footage of large reptiles, remember what your goal for the scene is. Your audience is human and, generally speaking, you want to get them hot and bothered. Whatever fun and strange things you've got going on, you'll want to relate them back to the human experience at this point. If your Point of View character is a human, then it's easy enough. If not, then you've got a little more work to do.

For mammals, the cycle of excitement, pleasure, climax, and refraction will be practically the same. You don't need to sweat the differences here, unless you're specifically interested in the amount of time your non-human will be spending in each phase.

For birds and tuatara reptiles (a small group of reptiles characterized by spines on their backs [like iguanas]), the act normally consists of kissing cloacas. This may seem relatively passionless, but there are ways to make it steamy. Since the cloaca isn't designed for the rigors of mammalian intimacy, you could take things slow and give attention to the other ways the characters are feeling each other, too. Kissing and caressing within each other's embrace can still be hot, even if your harpy only climaxes emotionally.

For other reptiles, the biggest difference will be in the fact that they're cold-blooded. A lizardfolk can still feel their heart race, still love how their partners smells, still have a heavy-lidded gaze, but they won't flush or become hot to the touch. Also, since reptiles don't shiver to maintain heat, they might not tremble when stationary (though they can still be shakey when they move).

If your PoV character is merfolk, depending on how far into the deep end you go with them, you'll thankfully have a lot of human material to draw from. But if you want to play up the novelty, they may notice how warm a human is, and how velvety their skin feels. Additionally, a bit of a dance, teasing chase, or display could go a long way to convey excitement, or even nervousness.

If your aliens or seafolk are more crab-like, then it can seem tricky, but don't fret. You might take the chance to explore the dynamic from your alien's perspective of needing to be held, or of the urge to protect their mate, for an extended period of time. Since feeling cared for and needed can really make the heart sing, this is something you can use to demonstrate intimacy, even if you don't decide to adjust the anatomy for a more traditionally human experience.

Aftercare

Not all scenes will include this step, but it is still an option. If you choose to show the afterwards, it can be a good place to transition from a shared experience back into the differences between species. Is your kappa still ready to go, even if your human's tuckered out? Is your hive-minded alien going to sleep off a pheromone high? Maybe your mermaid just needs to spend the next hour by her partner's side. If this kind of scene is useful to your story, it presents ample opportunities for world- and character-building.

---

I hope this has been helpful! If I missed anything, if you have further or more detailed questions, or even if you're curious about what this article did to my targeted ads, feel free to send me an ask or DM!

Happy writing! ;D

[petnews2day]

Snake catcher Mark Pelley moved from ICU after near-fatal tiger snake bite in Melbourne

New Post has been published on https://petn.ws/Yy7AB

Snake catcher Mark Pelley moved from ICU after near-fatal tiger snake bite in Melbourne

A Melbourne snake catcher has been moved out of intensive care and is “showing signs of recovery” after a tiger snake bite left him fighting for life. Mark Pelley, commonly known as The Snake Hunter, was bitten on his hand after his equipment broke while catching a snake last week. Mark Pelley in hospital in […]

See full article at https://petn.ws/Yy7AB #ExoticPetNews

[theplumbnerd]

Navigating Bathroom Plumbing Quandaries: Jack Thompson's Guide to DIY or Pro Help

Introduction

Hey plumbing pals! It's Jack Thompson, your friendly PipeMaster from Denver, and today we're addressing the age-old question – should you tackle bathroom plumbing problems yourself or call in the pros? Ready to decipher the DIY dilemma? Fantastic! Let's plunge into the world of bathroom plumbing conundrums together. Plumbing Predicaments: DIY or Pro Help with Jack Thompson With a toolbox full of experience, I'm here to share practical insights and guidance to help you decide when to don your DIY cap and when to summon the pros. No need for complex plumbing jargon – just straightforward advice. Let's navigate the waters of plumbing predicaments!

Signs It's a DIY Affair

Before we dive into decision-making, let's identify scenarios where you can confidently tackle the issue yourself: Signs: - Minor Leaks: Small drips or minor leaks from a faucet or pipe. - Clogged Drains: Simple clogs in sinks or showers that can be resolved with household tools.

My DIY Approach to Common Issues

Time to channel your inner handyman! Here's how I approach common DIY-friendly bathroom plumbing issues: Step 1 - Assess the Situation - Identify the Problem: Determine the source and severity of the issue. - Gather Tools: Equip yourself with basic tools like pliers, wrenches, and plungers. Step 2 - Leaky Faucets - Turn Off Water: Shut off the water supply to the faucet. - Replace Seals or Washers: Inspect and replace worn-out seals or washers. Step 3 - Clogged Drains - Use a Plunger: For sink or shower clogs, employ a plunger for a quick fix. - Try DIY Solutions: Use natural remedies or a drain snake to clear minor clogs.

Signs It's Time to Call in the Pros

Certain scenarios demand the expertise of plumbing professionals. Here's when you should consider making that call: Signs: - Major Leaks: Large or burst pipes causing significant water damage. - Sewer Line Issues: Foul smells, gurgling noises, or slow drains indicating sewer line problems.

When to Summon the Pros

Time to call in the cavalry! Here's when you should enlist the help of professional plumbers: Step 1 - Assess the Complexity - Evaluate the Complexity: If the issue involves intricate systems or hidden pipes. - Potential for Damage: When attempting a DIY fix might risk causing further damage. Step 2 - Major Repairs - Pipe Replacements: For significant pipe repairs or replacements. - Sewer Line Concerns: Issues with the main sewer line that require specialized equipment.

Maintenance Tips for a Happy Plumbing System

Regular Checks - Monthly Inspections: Conduct monthly checks for leaks, water pressure, and visible pipe issues. - Preventive Measures: Implement preventive measures like using hair catchers in drains. Safety Tips - Know Your Limits: Only tackle DIY projects within your skill level. - Protective Gear: When handling chemicals or dirty water, wear appropriate protective gear. Call in the Pros - Quick Decision: If you're unsure or the problem escalates quickly, don't hesitate to call in professionals. - Preventive Inspections: Schedule annual plumbing inspections to catch potential issues early.

Conclusion

There you have it, plumbing ponderers! You've just gained valuable insights into deciding whether to tackle bathroom plumbing issues yourself or call in the pros, guided by yours truly, Jack Thompson. Now go ahead, face those plumbing predicaments, and may your plumbing endeavors be stress-free. Happy plumbing! Read the full article

[coastxlwaters]

Man...

I wanted to click on both guns, as a fellow gun loving person

@sunny-inajar @bumble-the-sun-bee @stormbreaker-290 @capring @strawberry-arrowtip @o-i-w-u @im-just-a-dumb-gay @zerocksout @weirdenbyferret @bittyfromquotev @eternal-soup @yelesomeblue @inkyucu @itsahotminuteinbetween @potatotato-26 @froggielovescoffee @just-a-normal-nova @knizuu @liminal---nightmare-aliza @multifandomcutie13 @thekillermaretwinz @eclipsen-smiles

new tag game, because I can

no pressure tags:

@red-velvet-0w0 @nyxisagod @lynx-brynjar @encryptidarchivist @justbugsnstuff

@justanotherenbyhere +Anyone else

[thesnakehunter]

STAR AND A STAR FISH Hi everyone, Aishah here again. Here is dad after catching snakes all day in 37 degree heat. He is taking a quick nap before the night time snakes start which will go into your homes and he will be working all night. While everyone is in air conditioning, at the beach, pool or relaxing, dad: 1. Moves large piles of blue stone in direct sunlight to get a brown snake in mill park near DFO. 2. Move huge quantities of firewood to get a tiger snake in Diamond Creek just off Phipps Cres. 3. Crawls under houses in Warrandyte near the shops and moves hard rubbish to get snakes 4. Climbs into a roof in Park orchard where it is extremely hot to get a tiger snake. 5. Searches gardens under rocks, in long grass and weeds with Star to find snakes all over Melbourne. 6. Takes multiple calls each day from people who tell him they saw a snake last week and want him to do something about it. 7. Runs Canine Snake Avoidance business. 8. Handles migration clients on the phone always asking for thir visa 9. Looks after my sisters and I as a single dad. 10. Between Snake call outs feeds and water the animals. 11. Searched for a brown snake in Mill Park just near Rmit. 12. Removes brown snakes in hot sheds after pulling out all the gardening equipment. 13. Tries to stay hydrated. Everyone sees dad as The Snake Hunter. I see a single dad tirelessly raising his daughters and trying to provide for them, serving the community and rescuing snakes. Tonight when you and your dogs are safe from snakes, be glad that dad is around. For now, I'll let him be a star fish on the ground next to Star the border collie. If you see a snake, call Dad on 0403875409 24/7 Snake Catcher of Melbourne. www.snakehunter.com.au #sleep #rest #dog (at Diamond Creek, Victoria, Australia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CnZEpw2vI7D/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[snakemanaustralia]

Need to handle snakes as a snake catcher? Then stay safe with the official range of Snake Catcher Clothing. Whether you need protective clothing, active wear or simply good style and fashion. Snake Catcher is the brand for you.

Stay ahead of the crowd with the Snake Catcher. We can cutom make a whole range of clothes and accessories, including the following:

Items of protective clothing; gear used to catch snakes; undergarments of all kinds (as protective clothing); protective headwear of all kinds; wrist pads, knee pads, bum cover, knee guards, wrist guards, bum guards, elbow guards, all for protection against injury (not adapted for use in playing sports); face covers being face masks for protection against accident or injury; gloves for protection against injury; shoes specifically adapted for protection against accident or injury; hockey helmets; safety goggles; face masks for protection against accident or injury; steel capped boots specifically adapted for protection against accident or injury; helmets; bum covers for protection against injury (not adapted for use in playing sports); nets for protection against accidents; space suits; elbow covers for protection against injury (not adapted for use in playing sports); visors for helmets; safety clothing of all kinds; hard hats being safety hats (protective helmets); safety helmets; glasses; Protective clothing for bee handling for the prevention of accident or injury; Protective clothing or equipment for snake handling for the prevention of accident, bite or injury; Protective clothing for pest control for the prevention of accident or injury; Protective clothing for chemical handling for the prevention of accident or injury; baseball batting helmets; football helmets; life jackets; All kinds of leather footwear specifically adapted for protection against accident or injury; handwear for protection against accidents or injury including gloves of all kinds; protective hats of all kinds specifically adapted for the prevention of accident or injury; goggles; gloves of all kinds for protection against accidents or injury; Safety footwear; Masks for protection against accident or injury; Face masks for protection against accident or injury; Face shields for protection against accident or injury; Protective eye shields for animal handlers, plant handlers, welders, and other people exposed to eye hazards; protective clothing being fire resistant clothing; dry suits being for diving; protective face shields for workers (against accident or injury); snowboard helmets; ski helmets; bike helmets; motorbike helmets.

General clothes, active clothes, sports clothes, All kinds of clothing; footwear and headwear, including the following items: trousers, pants, jeans, shorts, t-shirts, shirts; gowns; gaiters; undergarments, including underpants; bikinis; mankinis; boots; Derby boots; Fashion boots; Go-go boots; Motorcycle boots; Mukluk; Platform boots; Riding boots; Russian boots; Seaboots; Tabi boots; Ugg boots; Valenki; Veldskoen; Winklepickers; steel capped boots (other than for protection against accident or injury); runners; joggers; pump shoes; sand shoes; thongs; socks; mini socks; sneakers; hosiery; long socks; long johns; thongs; slippers; sandals; jandals; sleepwear of all kinds; pyjamas; night pants; night gowns; dressing gowns; dresses; skirts; tutus; visors being headwear; stockings; leggings; shoes of all kinds in this class; Athletic shoes (also known as trainers or sneakers); Ballet flats; Brothel creepers; Court shoes (known in the US as pumps); Espadrilles; Kitten heels; Derby shoes; Oxford shoes; Brogues; Blucher shoes; High-tops; Loafers; Mary Janes; moccasins; Monks; Mules; Platform shoes; Plimsoll shoes; School shoes; Skate shoes; Sneakers; Tap shoes; Toe shoes; toe shoes; Sandals; Kolhapuri Chappals; Peshawari chappals; Flip-flops (thongs); Slides; Slippers; Closed slippers; Open slippers; climbing shoes; Ballet shoes; Boat shoes; High-heeled footwear; high heels of all kinds; platform shoes of all kinds; boots; climbing shoes; Clogs; Football boots; Sabaton; Sailing boots; Ski boots; snowboard boots; Pointe shoes; Barefoot sandals; Abarka; Crakow shoes; All kinds of wood shoes in this class; Toe socks; Anklets; ties; Bobby socks; Dress socks; Knee high stockings; Toe socks; handwear including gloves of all kinds in this class; wedding dresses; party dresses; sexy dresses; nets; school wear of all kinds; imitation space suits being fancy dress costumes; novelty wear of all kinds in this class, being fancy dress costumes; Halloween clothing of all kinds in this class; onesies of all kinds; yoga dress; leotards; shapewear; corsets; scarves; wimples; caps; hats of all kinds in this class; bonnets; bowler hats; sleep or eye masks; clothing being water resistant clothing and wetsuits; dry suits being for surfing or surface watersports; swimwear of all kinds; religious clothing, body wear, or body coverings of all kinds or forms; gloves of all kinds.

Also available are snake catcher tools, snake protection gear and more as well as bags, bandages, socks and other clothing.

[biillyhargroves]

post-Starcourt, Robin, who 100% hates hospitals and their awful sterile smells and their too-bright hallways and their tiny rooms with the flimsy green curtains and overwhelming cacophony of dings and beeps from hulking medical equipment, absolutely goes with Steve to visit Billy in the hospital. she insists, because she knows how hard it is for Steve to see Billy like that, tubes and wires snaked all over his body, bruised and scarred, so small and so weak amid the monitors and machines. she usually sits outside Billy’s room, keeps watch for the parents Steve must sneak around. sometimes Max sits with her, both of them giving Steve and Billy as much privacy as the situation allows, talking quietly, doing the stupid quizzes in the back issue magazines crowding the waiting room kiosks, swiping paper from the nurse’s station to make cootie catchers and paper airplanes. for a little while, each day, Robin gives Max a brief reprieve from the worry and the fear surrounding Billy, gives Steve the peace of mind he needs to simply be with Billy, no fear of watching for Neil because Robin has taken over that part for him.

she starts to learn things about Billy, too. starts to bring little gifts along with her. a cassette here, a book there. she helps Steve pick out corny little trinkets in the gift shop. sometimes, she sits with him when Steve needs a minute, or when he wants to talk to Max about the doctors’ latest visits, because she knows he doesn’t want Billy to be alone. she watches him when he’s asleep, talks to him when he’s awake, is shocked that she was ever scared of him because she finds that he’s actually funny and smart and kind. Steve and Max will come back to the two of them laughing like old pals, easy, comfortable, just two buddies.

and when he’s out of the hospital, when he’s getting slowly back on his feet, moving about on his own, Billy makes sure to pull Robin aside and thank her. he thanks her for taking care of Steve, because he knows how difficult the months have been for him, and he is grateful that Steve didn’t have to go it alone. he thanks her for being there for Max, who had made the hospital her second home, who skipped out on seeing friends because she was terrified of something happening if she left Billy, because Robin gave Max rare moments to just be a kid and, God, she needed that. he thanks her for creating the smallest sense of normalcy each time she stepped into his room, for all the stupid jokes she cracked (all nervous energy manifested as awkward humor, but Billy loved it nonetheless).

anyway, that’s how Robin and Billy become best friends and how Robin, Steve, Billy, and Max because a tiny little family, the end.

[achliegh]

The Major League

Prologue

TW: Drinking, swearing, relationship issues

Baseball Boys meeting and falling in Love

What could go wrong… ;)

Beta: @punkkkkboi

Most Characters belong to: @lumosinlove

Marauder Stadium, Gryffindor District, Hogwarts, America 2020

Logan was up, the Lions and the Eagles were playing. He had three people on base already and they were four points behind in the last inning. They needed Logan to get a grand-slam to go into overtime, then the Eagles would change pitchers and catchers. He was the best batter on the team and he was fighting one of the Snakes rookies for the best batter in the league, his best friend's boyfriend. He stared Remus down as he shuffled his feet in the batter's box, picking out where he was going to hit the ball. They have a hole in their outfield that always gets a person on base. He knew that once he put both feet in the box that Remus could throw at any time, but he also knew that the new catcher for the Eagles was tossing hand signs at Remus. Logan doesn’t know if they are fake but he doesn’t even spare the catcher a single glance.

He watches as Remus begins his windup, everything slowing as he watches the ball leave the pitcher's hand. He was expecting one of his infamous fastballs but instead, he was given an easy toss. Smirking at the mistake Remus just made, he makes contact with the ball and puts his head down. Running. What he didn’t notice while he was watching the wind up was that the hole in the outfield had suddenly closed. Lucky for him, the ball hit the ground before it was caught. He watches as James hits home base, adding another point to their score. Everyone was in the dugout by the time Logan made it to third, he listens as Arthur sends him home and the giant fucking catcher was in the way. He was going to have to slide under him or around him. Putting his toes of his right foot into the crook of his left knee he doesn’t hesitate to throw himself to the ground sliding right under the catcher to the safety of home base.

“Out!” Logan stood up and turned toward the catcher, He was smirking at him through his mask. He lifts his glove and opens it, catching the ball with his free hand and turning toward Remus to throw it back at him.

Logan. Was. Furious! He was shocked, this never happens!

The game was over, the catcher took off his helmet while Logan was still glaring daggers at him. Yeux de la mort, as his sisters called it. Logan couldn’t help but notice how… stupidly attractive this asshole standing in front of him was! His hair was all sweaty from his helmet but he was wearing a white headband to keep it off his face stained yellowish from years of wearing it. Showing off his stupidly pretty pale eyes and his stupidly cute nose and he had the audacity to smile at him. Ugh! Logan stomps back to the dugout not even waiting to hear if he was going to talk. Everyone gave him pats on the back as they got into their lineup for the ‘good game’ high fives they had to give the other team.

Logan slapped hands with everyone but casually missed the catcher’s hand, he thinks his name is Leroy or something dumb he overheard in the dugout. He hears James inviting the other team out for drinks and everyone agrees to meet at the Leaky. Meaning that fucking catcher would be there. Logan needed a drink, he knows it is just a game but it's also his job! He should have just aimed for the wall. He gets into the dugout to collect his equipment and kicks a helmet sending it into the wall.

“Tremblay!” Arthur shouts at him, he sighs and drops his shoulders a bit. He was tense. Walking over to his coach he stands in front of him, chewing on his gum like it’s concrete. “I get that you are upset but that helmet does not belong to you, now, before you go out to get fucking drunk with the rest of the teams. Yes, I said teams.” He was looking down at Logan making him feel like he was getting reprimanded at school. “I want you to go run bases until you calm down.” Running bases, the punishment for overreacting after a game. Sirius used to do them after almost every game they lost, he has mellowed out over the past few years but now it was Logan’s turn. He pushes past everyone who is joking around and walking toward the door that leads to the locker room under the stadium.

He walks over to home base and starts running at full speed, hoping it tires him out enough that he wouldn’t even be able to go to the bar. He wanted to go home and go to bed but he knows he will get shit if he doesn’t go. His foot touching each bag, even running backwards a few steps if he misses one. Usually second base. He thought he was alone. He hoped he was alone.

Leo was watching, this man had glared at him harder than anyone ever has. Yet, Leo saw something in him that made this man someone he wanted to befriend. Maybe it was the glare towards him or maybe it was the cockiness he had while batting. Either way, he didn’t expect Leo to know where he was hitting. Leo being Clay’s brother, who is arguably the best batter in the league, knows what it looks like when someone is able to pick a spot and hit directly to that spot. Telling Remus what he knows they made up a sign for when it happens and then Leo points to where someone’s gonna hit. Then Remus sends a sign to the people in the outfielder. It was a complicated mess that took a quarter of pre-season practice to get right. Leo found his way into the Lion’s dugout from under the stadium and was standing on the bench to look over the protective wall. Watching this guy run, he was rather pretty. He and Clay were around the same height too. That is a nice way of saying under 5’9”. He was zooming around the bases, tiring himself out until he eventually tripped on third base and fell on his chest just laying face down in the dirt for a bit before he sat up. Leo walks out on the field and right over to the other man.

“Need a hand?” Leo has been lying. He knows exactly who this man is and has been following his career ever since he got drafted. This man was Logan Tremblay. Leo may or may not have a tiny career crush on him. He was a good looking guy! Gorgeous hazel eyes, dark black hair up in a bun poking out from under his hat. He was tan and if Leo has his facts correctly, he was half Native American. Sirius and Regulus Black are full Native American and people would do racist shit behind their back but never where anyone important could hear because they are so important and powerful in the MLB. Logan was not so lucky. He has been the target of stereotypical ‘Indian’ noises, slapping their hands over their mouths specifically, that racist guys chant at him when he is batting or makes a good play. Leo called a couple of people out on his own team for doing that shit and hasn’t heard a peep from them since.

Logan looks up at him and raises an eyebrow. He looks at Leo’s hand, then back up at him. He stands up, walking away from him without another word, back to the dugout. Leo follows him since his stuff is in the same place. The next thing Leo knows he has his back shoved into the wall and Logan is holding the front of his shirt that he changed into after his shower. Since they are on a slant Logan is only a bit shorter than him, which was weird. Logan was looking at him like an angry Colchis bull. Sweat dripped off his face, some running down his neck, his cheeks were flushed and Leo didn’t know if it was from anger or from running. His nostrils were flared and would flex with every breath he let out.

“Who even are you!?” Leo just smiles at him, Logan feels a yank in his gut and it just makes him so much angrier. Why did this idiot have to be so fucking cute! The man he had against the wall stuck his hand in between them like he wanted to shake on it or something.

“I’m Leo, the catcher who got you out.” His voice was kinda deep but he had an accent and it was faded but still there on his O’s and TH’s. It would have been endearing if he wasn’t so pissed off at this guy. His body is moving before his mind has caught up with what was happening. Kissing Leo. Kissing the guy who just made him lose a game!

And he liked it?!

Leo made a surprised noise as he felt Logan pull him into a very aggressive kiss, it only took him a second to kiss back with just as much passion. Yeah, that's the word, passion. He grabs onto Logan’s jersey at his waist and pulls him closer. They are fully making out now, not sure why, but neither of them wanted to pull away. Leo ended up taking over the kiss, lifting one of his hands and taking Logan’s hat off, yanking the hair tie out of his hair so it fell past his shoulders. Leo laced his fingers into his hair by the back of his jaw so the tips of his fingers are under his ears and mumbles on his lips.

“Fuck, I’ve always wanted to do that.” Logan makes an agreeing sound and wraps his arms fully around Leo’s waist. This felt natural like they have been doing this for years. They pull away just inches from each other, sharing air and just looking at each other. They were in trouble.

“I…” Logan starts, Leo just smiles at Logan who is currently trying to understand what just happened. He runs his hand through Logan's sweaty hair, holding his hat in his other hand.

“I won’t say anything, but I would like to be friends if you want.”

“Why the fuck are you so nice?” Logan unwraps his arms from Leo but lets him keep touching his hair, he takes his hat back though. Leo snorts at him and cups his cheek. “Because I try to see the good in people.” He pats Logan’s cheek twice and starts walking towards the door to the locker room, snatching his bag off the bench as he does. “Come on slowpoke. I need a ride to the bar because I still have not taken my American driver's license test.” He disappears, Logan is still standing in the same place. Scrambling to get his stuff he asks Leo to wait while he showers. He doesn’t wait for the water to warm up as he just jumps in scrubs his pits, tits, and ass then gets dressed in his sweats and t-shirt. Walking out of the locker room he sees Leo leaning against the wall texting. Logan is just now realizing how tall his guy is. In the dugout they were on slanted ground but standing next to one another on the flat ground made it so he had to look up at him. Being 5’6” really had its pitfalls.

“Let's go.” He pulls his keys out of his pocket and walks towards his car in the player’s parking lot. Getting in his two-year-old Honda civic he waits for Leo to put his stuff in the backseat before climbing into the passenger. The drive to the bar was silent besides Leo giggling at his phone every once in a while to some tiktoks. Logan couldn’t help but smile a bit. He still knew almost nothing about this man but he really liked him? It took a very deep connection with another person to have Logan feeling this way, yet Leo made him feel that in less time than another else ever did. Shorter time than Finn… Oh shit, Finn. He felt as if his blood turned to iced down Gatorade. Cherry to be exact. His favorite.

Well, Finn wouldn’t care if Logan just made out with someone. He has a whole ass boyfriend that he is openly out and in a relationship ever since someone posted a picture of them being all grossly cute and couply on Twitter. That fucking hell site ruined everyone. Everyone but them apparently, they got major waves of support online. Logan has had to listen to Finn’s rambles about Clay for a good year now and it always puts him in a bad mood. Finn should be with him… But Logan was the one to say no so he really dug his own grave by expecting Finn to wait for him forever. Maybe, he should try to move on too.

They walked into the bar together, going over to the rest of the teams after getting their drinks. Leo goes over to Clay and Finn while Logan wants to follow but instead, he talks around with other people first. How did Leo know Finn and Clay?

“I see you made friends with the other brother.” Dumo, their assistant coach, stood next to him as he stared at Finn, Clay, and Leo. He looks at Dumo and frowns.

“Brothers?” Dumo nods and smiles at him as he takes a sip of his beer.

“Yeah, the Knut brothers. They are from Durmstrang, Sweden. Have been playing baseball since they were young. I think they played on the national team when they were in secondary school, and traveled all around Europe playing against other national teams. As you can tell, they are not biological brothers, I believe they had interviews together right after the draft and they told their story about how they met in foster care and wouldn’t be adopted without each other. Real sweet, but now the media is spinning a story that they are now enemies and hate each other just because they are on different teams.” Logan and Dumo watch the two brothers laugh, joke, and genuinely act like good brothers to each other. Proving that the media was wrong. “They are two great players, Clay is the rookie trying to take your title of best batter.”

“Yeah I know all about Clay, I hear enough from Finn.” Logan grumbles and picks apart a napkin that soaked up the sweat from his glass. He feels Dumo pat his head and walks away, obviously telling him to go over to his best friend. So he does, wandering through the crowd and sitting at the table that the other three are, he is across from Clay and next to Leo. “Hi.”

“Have fun running?” Finn teases him, Logan rolls his eyes. “Are you at least calmed down enough to have a civil conversation with Leo?” Logan looks at Leo who is trying to hide his smile by drinking more.

“We came here together, he waited for me to get done running, and then I yelled at him for a bit… Now we are friends apparently.”

“Vi hånglade.” Clay chokes on his drink and hits his chest a couple of times while Finn rubs his back. Logan has no clue what was said but Clay has gone from choking to laughing. Leo is acting like he said nothing, running his finger along the rim of his glass gently. Logan almost couldn’t look away. Finn pulled his attention back to him. He was smiling like he always does, bright and soft.

Leo looks over at Logan and Finn and notices something. Picking up on the shift in the energy between them, it became tense as they stared at each other. It seemed like they were lying to themselves and each other. It wasn’t a bad tense but it also wasn’t exactly ideal. Leo wasn’t positive it was sexual but it wasn’t just angry.

“I’m going to get another drink.” Clay stands up, he must have felt it too. Leo remembers Clay mentioning how he was sure Finn was in love with someone else. But whenever he brings it up Finn goes all quiet on him and just stumbles over his words. Leo wasn’t sure how to feel at first but Clay seemed to accept that someday Finn was going to leave him… for Logan? If Leo got involved with Logan how he wants to now, he was just going to make the mess worse. He feels a definite pull towards Logan, even if they only met tonight. There was something there. He didn’t really know Finn super well but he seemed like a nice guy. He needs to know more about their friendship before he decides if he should act on his feelings. A career crush turning into a real relationship was very rare.

Maybe he would start hanging out with Logan more maybe even Finn, or at least trying too.

Olivander’s Bakery, Gryffindor District, Hogwarts 2020

Kuny was sitting in his normal booth studying up a storm when Sergei sat across from him. He paid him no mind besides a wave as the older man picked up one of his outlines for his term paper and started reading it.

“This looks good. How many times have you written your paper this time?” Kuny just holds up four fingers as he keeps writing. Sergei smiles at him, he has really worked hard to get here and he doesn’t plan on stopping by the looks of it. Sergei knows Kuny better than anyone else in the city of Hogwarts. They might be on two very different teams but Sergei has kept all his little Russian baby players close, even some other Europeans have come to him for advice. Kuny is currently working on his masters in sports medicine and has been living in the dorms each year, moving from freshman dorms to bachelor dorms to masters dorms.

Kuny has a complicated story behind him. When Kuny was younger he didn’t want to play an “American” sport because he was always told to hate America. Russia has always had this love-hate relationship with America and Sergei knows it well. He himself got many threats when he left to play baseball. He also got many questions on how he was able to do it. Many people want out of Russia but it is their home and all they know so they stay and just wish on stars. It isn’t like you aren’t allowed to leave Russia but it is frowned upon in some communities. Kuny’s mother made him play and his father disapproved and would never speak about baseball with him. He called it a disgraceful sport, one that brought shame to the family, but his mother didn’t care. She wanted what was best for Kuny even if he didn’t see it. Sergei knows he still hasn't seen it nine years later. Kuny was actually drafted the same day as one of Sergei’s teammates who he is now very close with as well.

From everything Kuny told Sergei, Kuny was just naturally good at the game and his mother was so proud but he hated it. He felt like he would always get stared down at school or at parks because he was wearing his uniform or people just knew him.

When he was 16 he asked his mother why he had to play and she said ‘Eto pomozhet vam byt' v bezopasnosti.’ He never understood it but he decided to not question his mother anymore. If anything it just confused Kuny more.

Eventually, he made it to a college team in the US, and at first, he was scared because everyone always talked about how terrible America is. How they kill and beat Russian’s for money or power. How people wouldn’t trust him because he couldn’t speak English, run him out of stores. Stuff that Sergei was also told, truth being told Americans are quite scared of tall athletic Russians. Fascinated even.

Then he got drafted onto the Gryffindor Lions team and everything was amazing. Sergei watched him open up with others, having known him since a camp the fall before he was drafted. He came out of his shell and his English improved a lot. But he was still shy and quiet, keeping to himself more than interacting with the team.

Sergei knows his mother called him every Friday before he goes to bed ‘Have you found your safe place?’ Kuny would be confused and say ‘yes?’ She would just laugh and say ‘you will’. Kuny has confided in Sergei that he really doesn’t know what she means, but Sergei soon caught on to what she was saying. He never told Kuny this though.

Once he started going to bars and hooking up with women he would enjoy it but not understand what the fuss was about. He would talk with friends and teammates about how he loves going out because it is such a different party scene than in Russia. It was much more relaxed and less chaotic. He enjoyed that. But the sex...

It was just okay.

Now he has to move out of the dorms and needs a place to stay. He lived in the dorms for three years, but now it was time to get a real place. He talked to Sergei about how all the places he has tried to rent from won’t let him because he doesn’t understand what they are asking for. So they would tell him no. BUT.

Sergei knows someone who is looking for a roommate.

“YA nashel tebe mesto, yesli ty ne protiv soseda po komnate.” Kuny’s head snaps up from where he was writing his paper and he smiles.

“YA znal, chto mogu na tebya rasschityvat'! Kto sosed po komnate?”

“Someone on my team. Jackson Nadeau.”

*A Few Days Earlier*

Serpent Stadium, Slytherin District, Hogwarts, America 2020

Sergei was working in the outfield, hitting pop flies out to them as they were diving and jumping the side of the walls to catch the ball. Nado was doing great, Sunny was the best at diving and Timmy was the best at throwing the fastest back to home base. They decided to break for the night and everyone was going to go home but Nado stopped Sergei.

“Hey, can we go get something to eat? I kinda have some stuff going on and I need help figuring it out.” Sergei nods and tells him to go shower. He definitely knows the most about Nado on the team, he was given his whole life story the third day he was on the team, watching his film and reading articles on him gave him a good idea. But Nado spilled everything after he broke down about what the Snakes tried to make him do for hazing. Hazing is something every team does, but usually it is a fun thing that doesn’t involve your deepest secrets. Most teams just have a shot contest between the rookies, or if there is only one rookie, them and the captain.

He wouldn’t get into it now because it didn’t feel like being in an angry mood when Nado was coming to him for advice. For help. They got to a little diner that they always went to because it has the best after-practice food. Light and salty.

“My roommate Ink is moving out to live with her girlfriend and I now need to find a new roommate.”

“Nado… don’t talk with your mouth full please.” Sergei was looking at his friend with a disgusted face as he laughed and swallowed his food. “Anyway, I actually have someone who might need a place to stay.”

“Really? Already? I just told you.” Sergei nods, he always amazes Nado somehow when he just sits and listens to people's problems. But Nado had an interesting life.

So Jackson grew up in Missouri, it was a weird place from what Sergei looked up to. Lots of farms and tornados and scary stuff. But Nado was one of the nicest people he has ever met.

Anyway,

His parents split up when he was young but still had a good friendship so they would still have family parties on holidays, and other special events. It was rare but it seemed to work well for the family. They always come to their sons' games and cheer him on. They were a pretty close family.

Jackson is the middle child having one older sister and a younger brother, Sergei has met them and it is scary how similar they all look. Nado’s older sister Maci was a baseball fanatic, she would tell Nado what to do to be better when he was batting. She always wants to come on the field yet when she does she just stands there in awe. It was very cute. She looked younger than Nado but she was a good three years older. His little brother doesn’t like baseball as much but he will try to be the loudest in the stands if at all possible, just to get on the jumbo screen.

Now Nado, he loves baseball and always has. It’s his passion, and he was always good! Being the number one catcher of fly balls on any team he has ever played for. Even the Snakes. But there was something different about him than most other baseball players. Nothing bad but he also wasn’t very careful.

In Highschool is when he started noticing other guys, mostly his teammates. He remembers Nado telling him this and he honestly wasn’t surprised. He talked about how he was really confused but never thought further than ‘I can look at attractive people and not be gay’. But then the student manager of the team kissed him one night. After that, they hooked up all the time. Nado was very comfortable with his sexuality and never understood why he had to come out. Straight people don’t have too so why should he? His family caught on but didn’t really react other than saying no one could be in his room with the door closed until he was 17. So he never did but he also didn’t hide his attraction towards men. His teammates really didn’t care much because they were oblivious, but Sergei thought that they must have been talking bad about Nado.

Nado got drafted right out of Highschool to the Snakes but was traded a year later after he wouldn’t go through with the hazing and the actions the team did. The snakes weren’t a bad team but they were hard to get along with sometimes and Jackson being so outspoken didn’t really help him much. He was traded to the Basilisks and was a star from then on. Sergei was so proud watching him grow.

He moved into his apartment the year he got traded and had a roommate named Ink but everyone thought they were dating when that wasn’t the case. Ink was moving out but is still great friends with Jackson, she is his tattoo buddy. He started getting tattoos in Highschool and just never stopped, Sergei sometimes wonders what Nado would look like without his tattoos, and every time he pictures an alien.

His hair is long and well taken care of but always in a bun that falls out unless he is going out or if his hair tie breaks...Which happens a lot. So Sergei has started keeping new packages of them in the sports equipment bag just for Nado. He actually inspired other people on the team to start growing out their hair.

“Who is it?”

“He’s a Russian friend of mine. His name is Evgeni but most people call him Kuny.”

“Oh I know him, he plays for the Lions! Cool, I’ve always heard they are a fun team, maybe now I can hang out with them more. Party the night away.” Sergei snorts.

“Just make sure you don’t start drinking too much, okay?” Nado nods.

Sergei might have just successfully pulled off his plan.

* Week Later *

Deathly Hallow Apartments, Hogwarts, America 2020

Kuny moves in.

Nado is actually at practice when he moves in but has Kasey, his team's catcher, help him move in. He doesn’t have much but he has enough to fill up his bedroom, the last roommate left their bed here so that was kind. He makes his bed and looks around his room. It’s pretty bare right now but he could get other things to hang up besides pictures of all the teams he has played on since he was little. Kasey heads out after they struggle to get a poster of Kuny on the front of his door. It was about two years old but it is one of his favorite pictures of himself. Kuny tries to stay awake while waiting for his roommate to get home so he can finally meet him. They haven’t met in person, just talked over the phone. Jackson seemed really nice. He was excited but also really nervous that he doesn’t actually like Kuny. He ends up falling asleep on the couch.

Nado walks into the apartment in a T-shirt and his baseball pants, which are the tight ones you can see the socks with and the only kind he will wear, in his fucking crocs because those are his pride and joy. He is sweaty and dirty with his hair falling out of his bun again but didn’t shower at the stadium because he wanted to get home to see if his new roomie needed help. He walks in dropping his bag on the ground, hanging up his lanyard with his keys on it on the doorknob so he doesn’t forget them when he leaves the next time. Mistakes have been made in order to make that a habit.

He looks around and notices that nothing has changed outside of the poster on Kuny’s door. It still feels like it's just his place and no one else is there. They would decorate together later, he adds it to his mental checklist.

Nado looks at the couch, seeing a giant of a man with mousy brown hair and large features sleep on the couch. This must be him. He was a lot bigger than Nado thought. His eyelashes are light but long and rest on his sunburnt cheeks nicely, maybe peeling a bit on his nose, but his sunglasses line is pretty obvious. Nado already knew this was going to be someone he could look at and enjoy.

He is about to walk from where he is standing to the kitchen when Kuny blinks himself awake. He looks at Nado and has the sweetest smile and Nado can’t help but think ‘maybe more than just looking at him would be nice’.

Kuny finally is awake enough to get a good look at Nado. He was a very attractive man, with light stubble on his cheeks, messy hair that was like half up. He has eyeblack on his cheeks from practice still… and he had on crocs. Interesting. Nado is just so effortlessly attractive that it must drive women wild.

They have take-out for dinner that night, agreeing on what to eat easily. Deciding to print out their practice schedules to post on the corkboard near the door, they will know who is coming in and out of the house.

Then they bond over girls and partying. The flow of the conversation is all over the place with Nado talking confidently about how he likes to go out and Kuny being more reserved. He was shy, but Nado didn’t seem to mind. He talked enough for both of them.

They went to bed early that night because of practices, it felt very natural. They were gonna be great friends.

[joshssnakecatching]

Is there any pro tip to find suitable snake catchers?

It is challenging to deal with snakes. Catching them is a hazardous task that snake catcher Moreton Bay performs. One should have the proper skill, attitude, and confidence to catch a snake. Be aware of what you are going to attempt. It will help you if you keep these things in mind while dealing with a snake.

• Don't catch a snake for fun. Instead, catch it if you want to research them, or you have to do it for another important safety reason. 

• Don't start by catching giant-sized snakes. Instead, start with a role and practice the steps and then go for a real snake. When you are confident with the rope, then only you should attempt to catch a real one. 

• Do proper research about what kind of species you would like to catch and their characteristics to prepare for everything that is going to happen. 

• When you are catching a snake, don't concentrate on any other thing. So, therefore, please put all your concentration on the snake and catch it. 

Equipment Requirements:

• Snake Stick

• Hook

• Tube

Catching Procedure: 

• Pin the snake: The area where you will catch the snake should be vacant, which will allow you to move freely. Snake sticks have a flat head that pins down the snake before it moves here and there. Be careful and don't put too much pressure. Just keep the snake pinned down to the ground

• Lift the stick: lift the stick and move it under the snake. When you try to move the stick, the snake will move, so turn the stick so that the hook points towards the sky. 

• Tail the snake: If the snake is long, this step is crucial. Grab the tail of the snake in your non-dominant hand. Then hold the tail higher and immediately turn the hook. If the tail is elevated, the snake will not be able to move.

• Leading the snake: Keep the tube and angle the snake's head towards the tube. Once the head of the snake is in the tube, remove the hook. Once the snake is inside the tube, lift it and seal the entrance. 

The person who can perform this process is called a snake catcher. No one should do it until it is essential. It shouldn't be performed as a hobby. Snake catcher North Brisbane has to be brave, patient, concentrated, and confident. Any mistake in the process may lead to a dangerous situation.

[sparrowsabre7]

Used a guide, because life is short and this game is long. So I'm meant to talk to Fragile by selecting Fragile jump in my room. I guess that makes sense but given it's only ever been for fast travel not sure how I would have worked that out as a method of communicating, or that Fragile could put you into a beach.

It's quite a nice story beat, that Fragile can't jump to Amelie as previously explained, but she can jump to Sam and Sam can get to Amelie through the things that bind each of them like knots on a strand. It may be a little on the nose but it still works, as does perhaps the first moment of consensual touch Sam allows in the game, after Fragile quietly says "I'll have to touch you" and he silently accepts. For all his weird sexualisation of some scenarios and badly worded dialogue, Kojima can still sell emotional beats when he needs to.

On the beach at last; ok, Higgs is Darth Vader now and has force powers. He creates a BT spiderweb and sets Amelie at the centre before a fourth wall breaking monologue about stick vs rope and one last boss fight: no items, final destination, Fox only.

It's Strandin' Time!

Ok this kind of... blows. It's a stealth segment where he can find out where you are almost instantly. Why the fuck wouldn't you take any weapons Sam? It's really hard to break line of sight. I know I need to throw the boxes to distract him but it's not working. Did manage to yeet one right in his dumb fucking face though. Didn't see that coming Mr. God Particle.

Ah fuck this; LEEROOOOOY mmJENKINS!! Decked the shit out of him then pivoted to bind and then kick the shit out of him some more. God, that's satisfying.

After a few rounds of that, "I don't need a gun Sam". Brave of you to say half way through the fight dickwad. Come at me.

When you were partying, I studied the strand. When you were learning how to control BTs, I mastered the parry mechanic. While you wasted your days at the gym in pursuit of vanity, I cultivated inner strength. And now that the world is on fire and the barbarians are at the gate you have the audacity to come to me for a boss fight and expect victory. Welcome to dirt, punk.

Oh, and apparently you don't need a gun but do need grenades. You're a real honourable warrior, Higgs. Truly the last of the samurai.

Kicked out a Snake-like "Aaaaaah" from him and it's over.

No. Wait. Round 3. "We got DOOMS, Sam! This was only ever gonna end one way." Ok, I... I don't know what that means but now we're in Tekken apparently. Health bars above our heads and everything. Oh no, it's Mortal Kombat, with the slow mo jaw break.

This...

This is kind of a shitty end to a boss fight... I'm literally hammering attack and winning it's just so incongruous with the rest of the game, should have left it at stage 2.

It's got dramatic music like it's meant to be the Snake and Liquid fight in MGS4 but I have no emotional connection to Higgs, in-game or out. He's just kind of a shithead, there's no brotherly bond here and he's not been established enough.

Ah multiple headbutts finisher. It is literally trying to be that MGS4 fight.

I know this isn't the end since Cliff's thing is still unresolved, but it is definitely trying hard to feel that way.

Oh shut the fuck up Higgs, stop with your "you won but still lost" bullshit. Fragile, kill the fuck out of him, please. Ugh, don't repeat I'm not that Fragile like it's your catchphrase.

Ha! Fuck you Higgs! Run out of BT juice. Oh... was that it? One punch. Also, don't just repeat "You're damaged goods" back to him like you're in a Joss Whedon film and that's an adequate comeback. Wow after a strong start this not-finale has been super anti-climactic.

Oh nope,she is going to shoot him. But offscreen. Fragile managed to bring Lou over too, nice. "Where should I take you?" Fragile asks, before Amelie butts in with "He doesn't need you, he's got me." Alright, calm down. Jealous much. But Sam is like "yeah you should go." Glad Fragile at least calls them both out on it.

Ok, so now Amelie says she could have left at any time basically, but did it to force Sam to connect the Chiral network.

And now we're "Mario and Princess Beach" running back home.

And now everything has gone insane. Now Bridget is here but maybe she's also Amelie and Die-Hardman is here to kill Bridget for fucking the world up and now Cliff is here and he knows Die-Hardman (who's real name is John) and Bridget is sending him after Sam but now she's Amelie again and behind Sam and tells him to run by pushing him in the sea, causing him to repatriate but in the repatriation sequence it's not BB inside Sam but one of those horrid dolls.

What the FUCK.

Ok and now I'm back in my room and Deadman tells me Amelie ported me here and then checked out to "finish what Bridget started" which I'm guessing may still mean blow up the world or the beach or something. Christ it has got very dense very quickly.

"We've been operating on the assumption, Higgs was controlling Cliff"; have we? News to me, I always assumed they were two separate antagonists given the Battlefield was entirely separate from Higgs' brand of goopy nonsense. So now Cliff has Amelie AND Die-Hardman on the beach. Great so things have gotten worse. Now Fragile can't port me to the beach either because reasons.

So I have to walk all the way back East all the fucking way because she transported all the secondary characters before me.

Thanks a fucking lot. This has been a real kick me while I'm down moment.

At least I don't need to carry anything there save protection and climbing gear. Hope I can at least drive some of it.

Ooh more flashback time. Looks like Bridget was intending to use BB as a sacrifice to build the UCA, unclear if by causing the Death Stranding or somehow starting the Chiral network.

Anyway now I'm walking these 6k or whatever back to Lake Knot. Some zipline help but one asshole put the zipline where the dismount is off a cliff. Sam echoes this though with a "nice zipline, asshole".

I also have no equipment, so stopping off at the paleontologist to gear up. Nice, a free bike too. Everything's coming up Bridges.

Oh fuck off Deadman, I don't want a Cliff notes session (pun intended), especially when you're just restating a bunch of theories. So Cliff wants BB to b whole, yep already gathered, the battlefield is tied to him due to his anger dragging his hellscape through with him. Sure, cool, can I get back to my drive now?

Oh come on... BTs can now spawn as catchers immediately, don't even need to grab you. Fuck this, I'm running. Sorry purple bike!

Jesus fucking christ Deadman, fuck OFF. Blah blah secret BB experiements were to make BT detectors but actually they were designed to make the Chiral network like I thought.

Oh.

They made the network by building all the cities with a BB integrated into each one.

Jesus Fucking Christ, I didn't see that coming...

That's some heavy shit man. This is that episode of Doctor Who with the space whale heavy.

While I ponder that horrific choice I'll inevitably have to make I am enjoying coming back and seeing how much bigger the highways have gotten in my absence. It's so fun to boost down them on a trike.

Another call from Deadman. Cliff put his BB in the care of the scientists but didn't know they were going to use the BB for the Chiral network, I assume he thought the experiments were benign per the lie told. Deadman says he's unsure how he was able to arrive on Bridget's beach and that there must be more to their connection so I'm going to go ahead and guess, he's Sam's father as well as the BB's, or he's a sibling of Bridget.

Fucking hell, another call from Deadman. Jesus give it a rest. No apparent connection between Die-Hardman and Bridget because his past has all been redacted, also suggested that Die-Hardman had no connection with Amelie/Bridget and that it's DH connection to Cliff that allowed him access to Bridget/Amelie's beach. God my head hurts.

Heartman's saying that the beaches are beginning to merge into a single seam, aside from the battlefield and Heartman's beaches. Amelie may have some kind of super bridge that controls all beaches which further my theory that she was BB patient zero.

Oh boy, big ol' Chiral storm, looks like it's battlefield time.

Flashback time, Cliff gives a sad speech about being a father and it looks like Die-Hardman killed Cliff under Bridget's orders.

Ok we're in Vietnam now and Cliff's wearing DH's mask. Comparatively this opener is less badass than the WWI and II battlefields but only in comparison. In any other games this would be a ridiculously cool moment. The arena itself excels as always, still not sure I could pick a favourite. Vietnam feels more linear but the mix of violent explosions, fire and oppressive silence and darkness work so well together.

Ok, I was wrong, actually reaching Cliff gives a supremely cool scene of Cliff and co marching through a lake of fire.

Another intense game of cat and mouse later and Cliff is finally down.

It's actually a really nice moment of emotional catharsis. Cliff begins to whistle a tune to BB and Sam completes it. It's not a big shock reveal, just a quiet mutual realisation that Cliff is Sam's father. They embrace and then a gunshot is heard and Cliff disappears, having first transitioned from combat gear to a suit, I hope implying his becoming whole and at peace. Despite minimal development until this past hour of exposition, Cliff has been a much more successful antagonist compared with Higgs.

Another flashback, DH is saying that Cliff should escape with his BB, but he will be forced to carry out any orders Bridget gives, hence the previous flashback. Seems DH was one of Cliff's soldiers. Still unclear if the woman lying on the bed, who is Cliff's wife, is the same person as Bridget. It's deliberately vague and when Bridget approached the BB in a previous scene her face was covered with DH'S mask.

Oh... Sam seems to think Cliff is Lou's father but that very much wasn't my take away from that scene. Deadman comes along with a recording of DH, says that Amelie left a message for him to get to the beach with one of Cliff's dolls. He knows it's a trap but plays along anyway and says Amelie also has no recorded past and made the point no one's ever met her in person. Seems to point to the fact that she may only exist on the beach.

DH says that her soul remained on the beach while her body deteriorated in the real world, but with high DOOMs abilities. She could then travel to the beach body and soul by the time she was 20 and the president said never contact Amelie except by hologram, but once the Chiral network was up and running DH checked the old records:

Bridget had uterine cancer in her 20s and never had children, yet Amelie is the spit of a younger Bridget, so... what's the connection?

Ok, now Fragile's here, and says Amelie was behind Higgs, she led the Demens and he abandoned Fragile when Amelie showed up, began the extinction initiative. She could control BTs and she was the one who turned Higgs into Homo Demens, able to command BTs at will. There was no BB in Higgs' chest pack either, only another of the dolls Cliff had.

But if that's all true, then why did she not just trigger the death stranding when Sam competed the network? Why did she need Sam to kill Higgs?

Another chapter closes but I feel we've still got a ways to go.

[joshssnakecatchingandreloca-blog]

Why Must You Always Use An Expert And Professional Snake Removalist?

Snakes are indeed vital parts of the ecosystem. However, there are multiple venomous snakes that you can spot in Australia almost all round-the-year. In case you accidentally stumble into any one of them, there can be serious safety issues and even life risks. The weather conditions of the country and the population in various cities are resulting in people finding more number of snakes in their workplaces and houses quite often. The smartest method of getting rid of such venomous snakes is to consult experts in the field.

It is never advisable to consider snake removal in Brisbane without any experience or license to perform the task. It is the rule of the country to remove the snake and keep people safe without causing any harm to the species. So, you must never attempt to kill the snake if you spot it in your vicinity. You are not just getting into illegal activity, but you are also about to risk your own life.

Highly Venomous Snakes Spotted In Brisbane And Queensland: Several reports show the fact that there are deadly snakes that you can spot in the areas of Brisbane and Queensland. The snakes have some distinguishing characteristics and markings, using which experts can identify the specific varieties of snakes.

However, it is quite difficult for a layperson to distinguish between the different types of venomous snakes. Some of the most commonly found deadly snakes around Brisbane include tiger snakes, coastal taipan, rough-scaled snake, and death adder.

Sometimes, in the suburban areas, you can even spot the Eastern Brown Snake, which is the most venomous and deadliest in the country. The Red-bellied Black snake is yet another dangerous snake found in Brisbane. They look exactly as their name suggests. The moment you discover such deadly species around your place, call upon an expert Brisbane snake catcher for help.

Relocation Strategy: The strategy of relocating the snakes and not killing them is quite justified in Australia. You must understand that these snakes are getting into your places because their habitats are getting destroyed by human beings every day.

The existence of snakes is so vital for the perfect balance of the ecosystem. They help in preventing the overpopulation of the prey animals in the ecosystem, which is quite essential for the lives of human beings. So, there is no point in killing predators that can save human lives instead.

A licensed and professional snake catcher comes equipped with all the necessary tools so that snakes can be removed safely and taken back to their locations. The companies offering such services operate mostly 24/7. So, you can get their assistance no matter what the time is.

[tifu-today-i-fucked-up]

Today, I f*cked up by catching a snake and disrupting military operations.

I'll go ahead and spoil the ending before I get your hopes up for some sort of military invasion. The disruption was a Navy medical officer demanding safety meetings so we "don't play with the wildlife".

Almost a decade ago, I was deployed to Iraq, and ended up on some big excavation project that had us spending a good bit of time pushing around dirt. Two of my Marines discovered a snake while moving some equipment. One of them was a self-proclaimed nature guide or something and wasn't concerned about getting bit because "it doesn't look poisonous by the shape of its head". I didn't trust him to leave it alone (he was already playing around with it), and I didn't want it slinking around our site for later mishap.

I figured I would catch the snake, and felt pretty confident to do so. As a kid, my uncle and I would hunt and catch live rattlesnakes. I didn't think this would be any big deal. Plus, "me big tough MARINE!".

I caught it without issue, but rather than throwing it over the berm, I came up with the bright idea of sliding him into a plastic water bottle and delivering him to my staff sergeant. He was a little guy, so I slid him in tail first, put the cap over his nose, and gave him a quick push. I figured his mouth was too small to get his fangs into the curved inside of the bottle, cut him some air holes, and set off to find the boss.

I dropped my snake-in-a-bottle onto my staff NCO's desk, proudly informing him that I had another item to add to the project's operational risk assessment. His response of "cool" turned into "oh shit, that thing is alive". He dismissed me and promptly set off to escalate my novelty through the chain of command.

Fast forward a week or two... The battalion medical officer found out about some of her Marines playing with one of the most deadly, adolescent, vipers in the world. Turns out she had a prior experience caring for a snake bite victim, and was overly aware of the amount of pain and agony that a human could experience on the long flight to Germany for antivenom. She called a battalion-wide medical standdown briefing, and proceeded to helicopter to a dozen different bases in Iraq, pulling Marines out of field duties, relating her story, and essentially telling us "don't play with the wildlife!"

Last week I saw a Reddit AMA by a professional snake catcher. It turns out that some snakes have the ability to pierce their fangs through thier own skin to bite any sucker who thought they were safe holding them just behind the head. I then realized just how much TIFU.

(source) (story by by stilterfish)

[petnews2day]

‘Snake Hunter’ Mark Pelley moved from ICU as he recovers from snake bite, daughter says

New Post has been published on https://petn.ws/Atwc3

‘Snake Hunter’ Mark Pelley moved from ICU as he recovers from snake bite, daughter says

A snake catcher left fighting for life after being bitten on the job is showing signs of recovery, his daughter says. Mark Pelley, otherwise known as the Snake Hunter, was trying to reign in a tiger snake last Sunday morning when a piece of his equipment broke. According to his daughter Aishah, the snake pounced […]

See full article at https://petn.ws/Atwc3 #ExoticPetNews

[floggingink]

Riverdale,“Chapter Fourteen: A Kiss Before Dying”

Hermione is drinking a serious glass of water this morning after having mixed “her reds with her whites” and knocking herself out with Valium after the Jubilee

is Hermione’s solid white nail polish the new heavy French manicure of mob boss wives?

Archie behind the wheel—concerning?

the TRAIL OF BLOOD leading from the truck to the hospital entrance, because—because I’d forgotten he’d been shot!

to which hospital, you ask? why, the one from Kill Bill, Vol. 1, where Daryl Hannah puts on that evil nurse costume with the hat and white dress and her eyepatch with the Red Cross cross

HOSPITAL TROPE AT THE DOOR OF THE SURGERY ROOM: “I’m sorry, sir, you’ll have to wait outside!”

gripped by the fist of Death, Fred Andrews hallucinates the future: Dream Cheryl is in a flowing red graduation gown, Mary is in a two-toned dress from Forever 21, Jughead calls him “Mr. A”

Alice serves herself orange juice, milk, and coffee for breakfast

Betty wears a soft lilac T-shirt and Alice has a lovely soft pear-on-beige nightgown

Betty CONTINUES to be ASTOUNDINGLY honest with Alice, who has for sure a soft spot for Jughead as a concept but can’t possibly be trusted with the knowledge that he almost deflowered her daughter. is it a power play? or is Betty just exhausted. I think she’s just following her own Jubilee advice to be sweepingly and unsparingly honest

Mädchen Amick, MÄDCHEN AMICK: Alice calls Jughead a “beanie-wearing cad,” as if Jughead A) has a flagrant history as a Don Juan or B) dropped Betty like a hot potato after giving it to her behind the train tracks

Sixth period is Intro to Film: “If that’s Snake Plissken, I want him blocked.”

Hermione’s hair when Veronica walks in is—is GREAT

Veronica was rich: Veronica eats a chocolate almond croissant from Bean & Beluga, which as far as I can tell is only in Dresden, which is in Saxony, which is in GERMANY

Veronica is knocking back a $300 Cristal Brut mimosa, as if she is Tupac?

I do like how she and Betty are both drinking orange juice

Jughead, tramping down his front steps to unveil the Bike: FINALLY, circumstances are COOL enough for my MOTORCYCLE

Best costume bit: he carved his cap symbol onto the front of his helmet, like how I drew a cat face after everything I signed in middle school: >^-^<

Archie mussing up his hair gives us a good look at his inguinal muscles beneath his lifted shirt, like when Neal Caffrey pulled a pistol out of his trouser waistline in that one White Collar episode

Jughead is definitely lanky enough to hug three people at once

I truly did miss how KJ Apa pronounces his flat A’s

Hermione does some good mom-work when she reminds a scattered Archie to call Mary

Jughead was NOT expecting to get grilled by Alice in this waiting room

Betty puts her FACE in her HANDS as Alice gets started—and Hal! HAL is there! honestly—I missed Hal!!!

“At least you can’t accuse my father of this, since he’s in jail.”

this remark certainly triggered something in the back of Veronica’s mind, since being in jail impeded Hiram Lodge not at all

all Veronica had for breakfast is sugar and she is not equipped to handle all the stomach-churning

she is wearing classic opaque black tights and some very wicked shiny black heels

Archie looks so small and scared when he’s on the phone with his mom!!!

probably all this emphasis on Archie calling it a “robbery” means……..it isn’t one…….I see you Riverdale…..

oh, Sheriff Keller is here? GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jughead, in a superhero move, sidles himself into Archie’s interrogation—and gets snacks!

“You mean like a snake?”

tbh Keller is pretty patient with Jughead, considering his father DID commit some serious crimes and Jughead STILL refuses to hop on board calling him on such

Archie preciously makes a little scissor motion with his fingers when he describes the homemade ski mask

I simply MUST KNOW, as an AMERICAN, what “jingle jangle” is. he lists right after METH for God’s sake! I mean, JINGLE-JANGLE??? is it like krokodil?????? Jesus!!!!!

Veronica drops “vintage bon mots as if they were bon-bons” (Archie would not have understood this)

Veronica fears that she won’t be supportive enough! Veronica—has she been paying any attention to herself for the past three months???

I really liked the soft look on Jughead’s face while Archie quietly tells him his worries about Serpent retribution while not trying to insult FP

Jughead and Archie hug very sweetly, Jughead embracing Archie’s blood-stained, honestly blood-dyed at this point, letterman jacket; Archie: “Thanks, bro”

INTERESTINGLY, they decided not to have Dr. Masters’ pristine white shirt be doused in Fred’s blood when he comes out to the waiting room, another hospital-episode item

it is sweet that the other parents stuck around. I mean it would be outrageous if they left, but even so, like, although I suppose Alice is about to write all this up

Archie’s button-down has an “Andrews & Son” patch on it in Fred’s next bullet-dream

DEAD ANDREWS of the PAST are COMING FOR FRED like in A Christmas Carol

his “something doesn’t feel right” is surely about him knowing something that Archie & Co. doesn’t know about the crime and I am assuming it’s that it wasn’t a robbery!!!

all of Archie’s stories have people calling him “Little Archie” when he was young

Veronica is walking with Archie and Vegas in THOSE SHOES

Jughead already has the power to summon certain gang members at will

I don’t know the name of long-haired Serpent Daddy but he is GRUFF and STEADFAST

Gay?!: oh Jesus the young one is there too

“Serpents don’t wear masks”

Jughead takes Daddy’s “knock some heads together” as entirely figurative

the female gaze: thank you for showing me Archie’s wet pecs even in this, his time of grief

Archie’s cast is going to dissolve if he keeps getting it wet like this

Veronica decides to console him the best way she knows how, with her hot bod

also, to be fair, she hasn’t had a chance to shower since like, yesterday morning, at least, if not the evening before that! they’re just being environmentally responsible

however she should take her pearls off first

honestly when Kevin said “Mr. Andrews” the first time I thought it was just his slightly ironic way of saying “Archie” because that’s just how adorable Kevin can be

Every triangle has three corners, every triangle has three sides: Kevin VERY MUCH was invested, or at least extremely informed, about Betty thinking she might have sex with Jughead the day before

did she think they might, before the Jubilee? and she texted Kevin?

he’s like, when Betty says they didn’t, “What, like, nothing, not even…?”

OH GOD! Kevin’s “Wait, what?” GOD KEVIN!!!!!! IS THE FRIEND WE ALL DESERVE

he instinctively sensed Cheryl Blossom’s presence before he saw her

Cheryl’s sheaths: Cheryl’s white skirt is slightly smoke-tinged on the bottom

“Is this the apocalypse?”

Cheryl, ever a Blossom, constructs a very palatable PR story to cover her tracks

she always delivers her lines spectacularly but she’s especially perfect talking about Penelope’s third-degree burns

THIRD-DEGREE BURNS

the thing about Archie’s thing about Fred’s wallet is interesting. no one wants to fucking lose their wallet. but is Archie over-endowing this wallet with powers it doesn’t have because it’s a small thing that seems to encompass the whole tragedy? does Fred keep his launch codes in there?

I honestly LOVED Archie at the end of his tether with his chin in his hand looking up at Veronica like, “I do, yeah”

Veronica very astutely of course knows this is an emotional overreaction and tells him to stick it, fondly

to make up for the past, Sheriff Keller put together a lineup of possible perps in under an hour

the killer apparently had blisteringly green Harry Potter eyes

Jughead cannot believe he got left out of going to the station to look at suspects

Betty using the word “rando” pleases us

Jughead doubts it: Veronica is not ready for Jughead to start slinging theories about more murder, hits

oh Christ, the motorcycle scene was perfect. they’re fucking cute together and Jughead loves her

Jughead knows his stock with Alice fluctuates wildly: “Or we can call your mom.” he KNOWS she KNOWS about BETTY

“You are gonna need to hold tight.”

and what does 12FW48 mean?

ARE YOU TELLING ME THE LODGES HAVE BEEN STEALTH CATHOLICS THIS WHOLE TIME. I thought it was the Coopers!!!! I’m the kid in The Catcher in the Rye who’s always trying to suss out the Catholics

the red devotional candle holders YYEEEEEEESSSSSSSS it’s taking me back!!!!

Veronica straight confronts her rosary-praying mother about possibly ordering the killing of Fred Andrews under the gaze of a huge Virgin Mary statue and still has the chutzpah to say something like “If the Manolo Blahnik fits”

Evil Hermione: “Mija...your disrespect...will no longer be tolerated.”

I love the difference between Veronica’s crime family and Jughead’s crime family! FP is like, run away from me as fast as you can! but also come back!!!! and Hiram is like, I CAN SEE YOU

FROM JAIL

the ladies lit up from below by orange candlelight (the best kind of lighting, as Clinton Kelly notes): “I should slap you for what you’re insinuating. But I’m not a violent person.”

new Reggie is SMOKIN’. his beautiful boy-mouth might be even more beautiful than Jughead’s

God bless Moose: OMG, when will Moose next get lines! you know!!!

the 2001 Josie and the Pussycats movie was a masterpiece: Melody has a fantastic long printed jacket

Reggie isn’t wearing his letterman jacket, which is I assume so we can ease into him being the most handsome man on Earth, ever

poor Fred’s imagination is all about Archie growing up and him missing all the milestones of Archie growing up, graduating, inheriting the company, getting married

the PINK GLOW of the DREAM DINER

they’re making Pop mop up that blood on his own? isn’t there a whole Amy Adams movie about people who will do that for you?

HOW DARE Jughead tell ANYONE to TONE IT DOWN

and yet, he would also be the one to be like, Yeah that line is from a Sam Raimi movie. like the doofy stoner in Cabin in the Woods who calls out the gas station guy for BEING the creepy outskirts-of-town doomsday scarecrow trope. so I can see both A) a Riverdale character saying something aloud like “the angel of death” and then B) someone immediately being like, Excuse me?

Jughead eats: Jughead is “always hungry, yeah,” MY MAN

does Betty think Jughead is insensitive for making Pop make their food or that she can’t quite believe he’s this hungry under this much stress? he did at least order coffee when his dad had gotten arrested

more Betty & Jughead being bathed in angel-light from behind

Jughead’s “But me?” movie moment is precious, but Betty is very serious most of the time. Jughead’s instinct is to make everything a self-aware parody of itself instantly, but he’s trying to make her laugh, and he is a semi-starved orphan

“I haven’t eaten since last night.” INDEED? it was Betty’s collarbone

“Yeah, it meant there were, like, ten biker dudes standing in front of me.” YES!!!! he was going with it in the moment!

but also he looked really good in it, I’m never going to be coy about that

“It fit you like a glove, Jug”: my dream is that the night before, after she and Jughead had a (long or short?) quiet talk about it “being late” and how Betty “should go,” Betty crawled into her bed and couldn’t stop going over the moment, over and over, Jughead shrugging that leather jacket onto his shoulders, “like a second skin,” and HIS HAIR doing that loose curl thing it does when his hat’s off, JUGGIE, and she stared at the ceiling in the dark, feeling some type of way

God though they continue to be so open with each other! no stone left unturned! he may imminently be in a gang but he is a great communicator!

“Facing facts, my dad is going away for a long-ass time.”

the incredulous smile when Betty says he might hurt someone else unintentionally is the same smile when he teased her about telling her mom she was about to ride his motorcycle

Cheryl’s hair: I WAS FUCKING WAITING FOR YOU, CHERYL

WHAT REALLY HAPPENED IN THE BARN WITH DADDY???????????

honestly this scene was so holy shittingly crazy my brain synapsed a memory in self-defense back to the most insane 1990’s lurid movie scene it could compare it to, which is when Rebecca de Mornay finally shows her cards to Ernie Hudson in The Hand That Rocks the Cradle

Penelope VERY WEAKLY paws at Cheryl’s wrist to get her oxygen back

Cheryl’s a psychopath: the best part was Cheryl telling her she should move “quietly.” like, quietly. so fucking wrong

of course Veronica gets Fred a new wallet, the straightest line between Archie’s anxiety and short-term relief

WHO is the dude calling out “Nice, Jugs!” when Jughead shows up with all the food? PLEASE GOD tell me we’re going to get more Jughead and Reggie. Jesus H. please

Gay.: “You’ve really been just a rock-star god through all of this.” JUGHEAD

is that the second or third time or something Jughead has called Archie like, a god? the second time?

These students are legally children: Archie is honestly out here blaming himself for freezing up after seeing his father getting shot and when he gets a gun put to his head

Archie has to tell this story WITH HIS EYES CLOSED

hey could Archie maybe get his hand re-wrapped with clean bandages during some of this downtime?

“ALL HIS INFORMATION.”

and everyone is gorgeous in this low light, incidentally

“Damn good coffee”: WHAT THE FUCK is up with the person on the other side of the hallway doors walking into a room at the same time as Archie! I thought it was Cheryl before, but it’s just someone walking into a room parallel to Archie just to be—creepy!

Cheryl never forgets a dilf

Fred has the common courtesy to put Veronica in his closest approximation to a Vera Wang wedding gown during his morphine trip

Pop Tate is officiating

OH MY GOD CLIFFORD!!!!!!!!!!!

the Blossom corpse: JASON???!!!

god no one could sneer like him!!!! RIP!!!! what happened to him in the barn, I won’t forget!!!!

Jughead in that dress jacket was cute and Betty in her VIVID BLUE gown was stunning

my prediction was that Fred was going to realize who shot him but would be in a coma throughout the season and would have to communicate to Betty (after giving up on Archie) through Christmas lights

you see, Fred thinks this guy is after ARCHIE

Fred wakes up when he leaps to save Archie in his dream…….the power of his love wakes him up..….just as the power of Archie’s hotness saved Cheryl..….

Certified pedigree: Fred having to come to and hear Archie apologize for not Von Flue choking this dude with a gun, “Archie…”

you know they put Betty and Jughead out in the rain for a minute

Jughead is too insane to ever be, like, smouldering, but he was cute spinning slowly on his heel and leaning against the wall, “Sure I can’t give you a ride home?”

Alice does have a gun

Please protect Betty: “Whatever you need to do...or explore…”

you know Betty just knows Jug’s nature and trusts him to be okay!

however I do not

they’ve figured out the perfect angle for filming Betty and Jughead’s kisses: over Jughead’s left shoulder as he cradles her goddamn face

Fwoopy hair is the best hair: thank you for Jughead not trying to wear his beanie and helmet simultaneously

I’ve seen Brick like thirty times: WHOA!!! WHOOOOOAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

HOLY SHIT, SERPENT DADDY!!!!!!!

Jughead for real walks into his dad’s trailer and there is a MAN with a BEATEN-IN FACE, TIED TO A CHAIR, Daddy and Baby Driver are out here smirking—JUGHEAD—“Ha ha, explore this, BITCH!”

“This guy was holding court at the Whyte Wyrm”: blood drool is like guzzling out of his slack, slobbery mouth

I’m writing a scene where it’s gay.: Baby has brass knuckles and sends Jughead a smirk for the ages

Hermione is “Hiram Lodge’s bitch”

Jughead’s wet bangs are always nice. it’s not the time, they’re just nice. all the extra-special stress-times we get to see his pretty hair

“So you could see we’d done what you asked”: Jughead didn’t even know he had the power to set this off! he got a man beaten half to death! INADVERTENTLY, BETTY

“With or without the jacket”—OH SHIT SERPENT PRINCE

is Hiram Lodge allowed to get snippy that Veronica wasn’t home when he came home early? like an asshole?

Hiram is, amazingly, seating at the head of the table, in the dark, because he is Satan

“So disrespectful.” SO DISRESPECTFUL

Summer + Blair = Veronica: “I know we’re all really happy about that.”

true to form, Veronica seems unruffled outwardly by this unexpected appearance, but we shall see, shalln’t we

Archie > Dawson: Archie is going to BEAT WITH A BAT any home invaders, which would make this something like his second night in a row with no sleep

do you know the SEVEN KINDS OF GLEE I felt upon seeing that vintage Beetle again!!!

there’s even a fucking piano-child-singing musical cue in the background!!!

SAVE THE BOY FROM THE DRIVE-IN WHO USED TO SELL KEVIN CHERRY SODAS

SHE DOUBLE-LOCKS THE DOOR, BUT LOCKS CANNOT KEEP OUT THE ANGEL OF DEATH, A MONIKER JUGHEAD LOVED TOO MUCH TO KEEP OUT OF HIS NOVEL

is Miss Grundy FOR REAL getting strangled with the CELLO BOW Archie bought her last season??? is this the violent ex-husband she talked about with Archie before that I thought she was lying about??? I—is—FUCK—

NEXT WEEK: FORSYTHE PENDLETON JUNIOR RETURNS

BONUS MATERIAL: I watched Dynasty, and while it wasn’t nearly as batshit as I expected, it did feature Elizabeth Gillies wearing this blouse featuring an Irish setter print