#smth horrible is definitely gonna happen

[spideyhexx]

im actually like so unwell and not in the good way😔

[nikasbae]

NO CALLER ID - P.B X READER

a/n : “am i okay” by megan moroney is probably the best album ive heard this whole year so now im writing about it !!

warnings : not proofread !! , angst , pretty short

You and Paige recently broke up 3 days ago. Finally after multiple arguments and her cheating on you , you broke up with her and moved on. or so you thought . Paige always liked to drunk call you after an argument because she knew you always would pick up. It made you frustrated knowing that you let her make a joke out of you each time. You wanted things to work out between you guys, but she saw you as a joke.

“It’s the same thing every time Paige! You either treat me right or we can officially end things.” You told Paige. “At least I’m not so insecure about my girlfriend talking to other girls.” Paige quickly replied. It hurt you because you weren’t insecure, you just wanted to be treated correctly. “Paige I love you, I really do. But you treat me horribly. The only reason I’m ’insecure’ is because every night your with a different girl instead of me. I’m supposed to be your girlfriend not side piece.” You told Paige. You heard her laugh and mumble something under her breath. “You know what Paige, get out.” You told Paige. “You’re so pathetic.” Paige said as she put her shoes on, gathered her belongings, and walked out.

The whole day you knew that she was probably out with another girl, getting drunk. You knew that you were slowly getting over her. You went on about your day normally. You, Morgan and Jana were best friends. You would open up to them about the horrible things that Paige would do and they would give you advice in return. You guys decided to buy last minute tickets to a Megan Moroney concert. “Dude wait, what are we gonna wear tonight?” You said looking up at them while you put your phone down. “Definitely something blue. Maybe like a white and blue top with a dark blue skirt? I don’t know” Morgan told you. “Let’s just go buy something and see what’s cute” Jana told you both.

The whole ride back from the store was basically you filling them in about everything that happened between you and Paige. “I think I’m finally over her though” you said. “I’ll believe it when I see it” Morgan said sighing. “Girl please you say that and then the next day you’re back with her.” Jana said as she rolled her eyes.

You three were having the best time at the concert. You were super happy that you could finally feel at peace without Paige. During Megan’s set, you felt your phone buzzing. You took it out of your pocket and you handed your phone to Jana. Paige had this thing about drunk calling you privately, but she had done it so much that you knew every call coming from a ‘No Caller ID’ was her. “Leave her alone, she’s busy.” Jana told Paige over the phone before hanging up on her. The whole night your phone was flooded with texts and missed calls from Paige, but you didn’t care anymore.

Eventually you moved on, but she was still stuck on you. She would text you everyday and, surprisingly she hadn’t changed. You knew she wasn’t going to change anytime soon, so you moved on.

a/n: this was super rushed and not proofread sorry !! but i had to write smth. also please send requests !!

[tsmass]

Whenever gay Americans get angry abt what our government is doing to Palestinians (and why), there's always someone who loves to be like "Who's gonna tell these dummies homosexuality is illegal in Gaza?"

That's so crazy.

I'm a gay Texan in my mid 20s. When I was a little kid, homosexuality was illegal. Here in Texas, where I lived and where I still happily live.

So (TW "war" crimes) I guess it would've been fair enough if the U.S. and Israel had bombed me and my family and neighbors, our houses and jobsites and whole communities, the girls I played with down the street, my baby brothers, my grandparents at work, the trans Texans who used to meet up downtown in the city, everybody else etc. If they had deliberately driven us from our homes and forced us to live in terror every night and every day, maiming our children, burning our parents alive, attacking&cutting off our food and water, blocking our aid, methodically starving us out and telling us straight up that we needed to be scrubbed off the face of the earth so they could take everything we have and not worry about keeping it.

I mean, damn I guess we would've had it coming. Homosexuality wasn't even legal, right? Sounds like a Texas problem. What do I care what the gov spends all those $$,$$$,$$$,$$$ and lives doing?

*Just to be clear, gay sex between men was a crime here until 2003 (when I was definitely kicking around, painting my nails with markers and eating bugs).

If I wanted to see penalties that were exactly the same as (or often harsher than) what's been left on the books in Gaza (and maybe sometimes ? enforced), I just have to go back one generation to my parents' lifetime, when men were getting 10 years in prison and, unlike in Palestine, police were setting up sting operations to actively crack down on the gay problem (again, smth that doesn't even happen in Gaza).

This is not, like, a weird feature of some "foreign" culture to me, and it really shouldn't be for any American who isn't super young or who knows her history. That doesn't make it right (at all), but you can't believe the lie that "these people aren't like you". Pretending this has any relevance on the genocide other than to say that queer Palestinians are even more greatly impacted by it is crazy and disgusting.

-- This really doesn't need to be added, but if we're supposed to play this stupid game, Palestinians in the West Bank took their anti-gay laws off the books in the early 1950s, at the same time basically all U.S. state governments were creating new laws specifically targeting gay (and trans) ppl and categorizing gay sex as a felony with harsh prison sentences. Now should our American grandparents/parents have been starved and scrubbed off the earth?? I would say... No!

The laws in Gaza are definitely not good for gay and trans Gazans -- stigma is very real, and gay rights aren't explicitly protected under the freedoms and human rights guaranteed by the Palestinian constitution. This is wrong, but obv genocide makes it a million times worse and is indescribably more horrible for all Palestinians, queer and straight.

And I don't get how anybody living in the "anglo-sphere" can pretend like this is some distant culture we're talking about -- these laws were imposed by the British Empire on occupied Palestine in the 1930s and then left on the books. Incredibly, Palestinians are normal people, and I think there's a good reason so many lgbt's see right through this bullshit.

We understand that the same politicians who weaponize "family values" can condemn families to death to line their own pockets.

We've heard "save the children" from people happy to condemn children to the horrors of genocide.

And when bought-out politicians defend our gay rights, they still don't hesitate to drop bombs on our mangled gay bodies.

[pineconedrop]

Lunar Rambles

I honestly have no idea how much is gonna be on this post. So I’m just gonna do what I do for the headcanons.

Lunar deserves more credit for taking down Eclipse. He was the one who helped Monty build Bloodmoon, knowing Eclipse was scared of him. He let Moon back out so he could continue his plan. In fact, he told Sun and Moon a bunch of information without being tricked into it (if I remember correctly). And to further prove my point, the TEAPS episode what if episode straight up proves it.

Lunar is actually very smart and I’m tired of the show treating him like he’s not. (The show did this/still does this to Sun, constantly referring to the two as the dumb one and it’s so stupid). First off, the whole Eclipse situation. Lunar was able to trick Eclipse and get out of a horrible situation. He’s also used to be very emotionally intelligent (I dunno about now, but he definitely used to be). He’s smart in his own right, just like Sun is.

Lunar’s whole thing with Nutella is sad and funny at the same time. Like in yesterday’s TEAPS episode, he was basically fighting the voices. There was no way Lu’s pupils didn’t dilate like a moth seeing a light. Also, him saying he uses the sugar high to distract himself… fair enough dude.

I’ve said this before, but I really really really want Sun and Lunar to bond more cause BOY ARE THEY SIMILAR

Lunar and Ballora’s friendship is amazing and needs to develop more. Let them be besties please 🙏 🙏🙏🙏. I just want Lunar to have more normal friendships dude is lonely. (And I love Ballora, she’s so funky. So seeing her interact with my favorite character makes me very happy.)

I want Lunar to move to Eclipse’s and Puppet’s dimension please. Unless he has an actual villain arc, then I want him to stay so Lunar x Rez happens :)

While I do miss how Lunar used to be sometimes, I fucking love how he is now and no one can convince me to hate him. It’s so cool to see the way he has developed and he’s so cool and I love him.

I never understood why everyone latched onto the MONTH PLE- joke. Like it doesn’t bother me (it did before he came back but we don’t talk about that), I just don’t understand why it’s funny.

I need Lunar to get a new body. I want tall Lunar. Please and thank you (in fact, it would be fucking hilarious if he became taller than Sun, Moon, and Solar. It would make me happy.)

I’m pretty sure I told y’all this, but Lunar is the whole reason I got into this show. I’m not joking, I saw one video with him, fell in love with him, then preceded to watch the entire show from the beginning so I could see him.

I want Lunar to have a friendship like he used to have with Solar again. Whether it be with Solar again or someone else, dude just needs someone in his life like that.

I don’t really want Lumini to become a thing again (I’ve explained this in another post, if you wanna know details) and instead I say they should just be friends.

I wanna kiss him :)

I am torn about how I feel about Lunar and Eclipse’s relationship. On one hand, I want them to have a healthy relationship and become friends or smth like that. But on the other hand, it feels like the wrong way to take it? Like (at least for now) it feels like it takes away from the whole story. Because Eclipse hurt him badly and he doesn’t deserve to be forgiven. I want Lunar to be able to heal from it without forgiving

That is the end of my rambles (for now). Into my cave I go. :D

[skznccmlee]

OKAYYYYYY I am so sorry for taking so long with this but it's been a really rough week and I was busy in the weekend, so I'm pretty tired

BUT ANYWAY welcome to Ahhie's Tickle Rant Of Fridays this time in a Monday😻😻

Friday was a horrible day

Horrible and exhausting (I had a spelling bee contest, don't ask how it went)

Bc of the contest, I arrived school at 1:30pm (... Exactly the hour when we leave school), so Cloud was going for her piano and she went "YOU'RE ALIVEEE" JSNDNWJ

Then we did the usual

Went to an empty classroom :3

And I got

The BEST DAMN SOFT TICKLES OF MY LIFE

Was it enough to get me out of my lee mood? Nope, I'm gonna need rough tickles next time (I'm already out of my extremely hyper mega super soft mood, so I can go back to read rough fics and get rough tickles :3 (not so rough though, I've never liked it too rough))

I liked it? DEFINITELY YES

She tickled basically everywhere, I was DYINGGGG

She sometimes got close to my hips and I thought she was gonna tickle but didn't (I really think she forgot that spot exists- JSNMDJWND😭)

And she was like, tickling some seconds, then stopped some seconds, then tickling again, and so on

And when she stopped I tried distracting myself as usual (... Don't tell her I'm admitting this)

AND SHE STARTED TO COUNT HOW MANY TIMES I DID IT

AND SAID "when I reach 10, I'm gonna multiply that by a number you'll give me, and then idk what and smth of a chronometer"

Which in my mind was translated to "I'm gonna tickle you so bad" AND I'M HONESTLY IN

I've 7

SEVEEEENNNNNNN

Blushing at the thought of this

AND THEN SHE SAID

"I wanna see what happens when I tickle you for a longer time" UUJUUUNWMFIEJMRJUSNWJDKD come find out

Then we had to go to piano

And we got NO BREAK, so that meant no tickles (:c)

Though I did really well with the song and had fun with the piano like I hadn't had since 7, so I would say it stills kind of a win

But since we didn't got break time

The class ended 15 minutes before, so Cloud and I went to leave our pianos in the lab as usual

AND I GOT TICKLED A BIT MORE (gently again)

That's when she reached 7

And that was it for the day THANK YOU FOR COMING TO AHHIE'S WEEKLY TICKLE RANT OF FRIDAYS THIS TIME IN A MONDAY OF THIS WEEK😻

See you guys next one, which will be the last time in like 5 weeks so it's gonna be a while for us to see in this section BUT ANYWAY

Ty for coming again :3

[partyhardyontitanic]

💕 & 🕊️ for either annie or osomatsu :3

Man, you guys really love the dove one even though "tell us a random fun fact!" type questions are the bane of my existence but it's ok <3 anyways I'm gonna do both of em because weeeeee <3

Osomatsu

💕: Who confessed first and how? Did it go as planned or did shenanigans ensue?

Osomatsu really, desperately wanted to confess first. But he was absolutely TERRIFIED of doing so. It took him like two weeks to really build up the courage. Planning how to do it was out of the question, he intended to wing it and just tell Krissie while they were hanging out in a bar. However, before the words "will you go out with me?" even left his mouth, Kristophine was already telling him how badly she wants him. Carnally

Needless to say Osomatsu passed out with a nosebleed and a boner on the spot

🕊️: Give just a general domestic tidbit for em (things they like about each other, routines, habits, and just overall sweet stuff)

Kristophine loves encouraging Osomatsu to beat annoying people up funny cartoon style usually Iyami. He's almost like a personal cheerleader for Osomatsu. It's kind of exhilarating but they gotta be careful, lest they get arrested or something

Annie

💕: Who confessed first and how? Did it go as planned or did shenanigans ensue?

Nathan definitely. Annie was a little busy with the whole adventure to reclaim the spirits, and also is someone who tries to ignore her feelings until they go away. Luckily Nathan had plenty of time to plan how to go about it and ultimately decided to try taking her somewhere beautiful. Like a lovely rose garden! The devilled garden for example. Uh oh!

Even though they tried to stick close to brulo's elevator, their romantic rose garden picnic was more of a battle. They couldn't go two minutes without a ballbuster showing up. And then three more. And then a bigger one. And then those spiky red ones. And ultimately, Nathan only got to tell Annie how she feels when they collapsed in the elevator, beaten and bruised.

Despite how horrible an idea that was, it ended up working out very well, because Annie always loves an opportunity to have a really good fight with someone. So she was perfectly smitten by this whole thing. They'd kiss then and there but Nathan got a nasty bruise on his lips during the fight. They stick to hand holding for now <3

🕊️: Give just a general domestic tidbit for em (things they like about each other, routines, habits, and just overall sweet stuff)

I haven't really mentioned it yet because I wanted to draw smth about it but that's probably not happening, but Nathan lives in the Concrete Jungle! The journey to visit each other usually takes a while but that means they get to go out into the more natural suburban area of the city, which Nathan really loves. Annie isn't much of a nature person, but has to admit climbing a tree with your bare hands can be pretty fun. And the view from on top of a tree is very nice too. Especially cause she kind of "worked for it" by not just using an elevator. And being with someone she loves is pretty nice too. It's a pretty nice date <3

[hmmpup]

What’s your favorite Erejean aus and hcs?

I’m gonna do a list because there’s so many AUs and HCs i have for erejean that are so fun to explore… starting with AUs..

Hannibal AU HAS to be in here!!! (really any crossover over mine are some of my favourite AUs), but hannigram x erejean just fit the most to me :3 It’s fun to think about them as cannibal murderers… 😅😅😅One of my favourite quotes from hannibal too; “Cant live with him, can’t live without him” is something i rlly like to associate erejean with… there’s a lot of experimentation and manipulating of eren and jeans characters u have to do to make this crossover rlly make sense but like. idk. it makes to me! if you’ve watched hannibal it MIGHT be easier to understand where i’m coming from…..

literally any modern AU erejean. The erejean angst from canonverse (and hannibal au) is really fun, but sometimes i wanna see them in a modern world! literally just doing normal daily things. I love thinking about them just getting to grow up normally with each other, hanging out in real world scenarios like a party or something.. Imagining them simply going to school is fun because i get to relate to them more (and project onto them😭😭 i’d like to see a bit more domestic erejean stuff cause they can be so cute and sappy 😢

This goes with modern AU but also band AU erejean is another top favourite!!! Specifically i like drummer eren, and lead vocalist/ guitarist jean :33 I think eren also would be able to play the bass and do backup vocals. It can create some reallyyyyy unique scenarios, especially when u put eren and jean in like a situationship or something…. It’s more fun to think about them being real desperate for eachother over them actually being together, especially in this AU because they could write songs about eachother, the drama would be crazy…

also!!!! Fake or Break erejean!!! if you have not read that fic you’re MISSING OUTTTT. its on ao3 by hollycal75💙💙💙

for my favourite headcanons!

1. they talk about eachother NONSTOP. their breakups would be an inconvenience to everyone around them, and even when they are together, they just will not shut up about the other

2. They LOVEEE holding hands.. especially when they’re younger!!! (liek when they’re 15 or smth) neither of them would’ve been in a relationship,,, and i’d imagine jean would probably initiate it because he’s seen couples holding hands in the movies and gave it a go. it’s probably a comfort thing too..

3. Jean sometimes refuses to go out with eren if he’s wearing an outfit he deems stupid. Jean is trying to take eren on a fancy date, and eren could pull up wearing a tshirt and jorts or something 😔 So i think jean would dress eren up for some of these occasions… although eren DOES gain a little sense of style from it after a while.

4. kinda random? but i think because i like to make them unbearably clingy, they always want to take showers together. but they’ll always go horribly wrong because jean takes freakishly cold showers ( he does it for the “benefits”) and eren takes burning hot showers. (probably to annoy jean. )And they can never meet in the middle… 😔 but as long as they’re w eachother they’re happy!!!

5. eren loves the feeling of jeans hair… it’d be very soft… 😭😭😭

6. Jean fell in love w eren first. and fell even harder. realising he was in love with eren jaeger was the worst thing that ever happened to him. (or so he says)

there’s definitely WAYY more but my mind has gone blank😔

[yonezawacastle]

no you’re SO real for that. this event has been horrible so far and i hate how every character is acting so OOC and completely horrid (minus nobu. i quite liked him)

i mean masa could’ve worded that better, but i did feel for him the most bc like if those “candies” did contain smth and mc being the idiot that she is didn’t tell him, then he’d be one taken advantage of. and from other events it’s pretty much clear that MC can and will put her foot down and not do something she doesn’t want to. i still feel like she potentially harmed him more. especially bc they never addresses the “sachet” thing either.

and kiyomasa was so creepy and manipulative too :/ clearly taking advantage of MC’s cluelessness and his power over her and the date

and don’t get me STARTED on the mess in nobunaga’s event. honestly surprised he came out as the most reasonable out of all the characters. though i still feel annoyed the writers didn’t have him react to MC being SAed by a woman the same way he’d reacted to her being attacked by a man.

istg this event kinda felt like it was written by AI. i did not like it one bit and didn’t bother playing. masamune especially didn’t deserve that sort of treatment :/ he’s always the sweetest character ever.

they truly dropped the ball with this one.

A fellow hater! <3

Ugh, I feel you on the candy/sachet thing. That whole storyline made my skin crawl. It's a dehumanizing way to view your partner, and a really weird choice besides, given that it's the depth and sincerity of his feelings that she's worried about to begin with. Masa and MC are usually one of the sweeter couples in the game, so it was genuinely off-putting watching them each blatantly trying to coerce each other in this one.

Kiyomasa was definitely creepy. Both he and Masamune were concerned with getting what they wanted and clearly not giving a damn about the burden they were placing on MC in doing so. I generally like Kiyomasa quite a bit so I was sorry to find myself disliking him so much here.

Honestly, though: the blatant abuse of both men's social power over the MC made for a nasty read, and did actually feel more than a bit OOC for them. I've been playing this game for a little over two years and I honestly think this is the only event story to have ever left such a bad taste in my mouth.

I say that as someone who usually enjoys the stories that look at the characters' flaws and shitty habits.

Idk, this story just felt like three people just being unusually horrible to each other, which would bother me less if the narrative didn't seem dead set on presenting this as romantic and desirable. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. This one just felt weird and rancid to me.

I was totally planning on doing Nobunaga's route next. :/ I'm not even generally a huge fan of his character but I'm just glad someone here is coming out less than 100% awful and brain-dead. I think I'm still gonna do it over the next day or two, out of morbid curiosity if nothing else, after which I would like to forget this event ever happened.

[wrongcaitlyn]

this is completely self-indulgent, but i was thinking about apollos career before him disappearing and stuff and now i cant stop imagining apollo in a similar situation to Jeremy Jordan with the greatest showman. i know you are not that into musicals so long story short, jeremy jordan (who is like a big deal on musical theater) was supposed to play phillip on the greatest showman but ended up being replaced by zac efron even though he (jeremy) kind of saved the entire movie by singing all the songs during the demo (except "from now on"). i can 100% see apollo taking part of a demo for a musical movie and being promised a part to later on be replaced by someone else. jeremy actually told his side of the story (and sang snippets from the songs) and how he was super excited to play the part and be part of the project (ill link the video in case you want to check it out) and it was actually his way of telling this story what sold me on it being something apollo would do. like apollo is such a theater kid in my mind that him doing a whole stand up thing talking and singing about how he did not get a role for a movie is just soooo in character.

anyway, here's the video im talking about, its just such an insane story that i still cant believe it actually happened https://youtu.be/08AGzOmCk-s?si=XfX3xIpFmkqQePrI

wanted to wait until i watched the video to respond to this so sorry that it took so long!! but WOW. oh my god. that's so... i want to say rude, but also frustrating, and heartbreaking to a certain extent?? like to have done all of that just to know that you were never actually gonna get the part and it was going to go to someone that just had a bigger name - i loved the greatest showman when it came out (and ngl my family was a bit obsessed with it, i can't even count how much we rewatched it) and ngl, was a huge hsm stan as a kid (also cannot count how many times i rewatched those movies) so seeing zac efron be in the greatest showman was part of the incentive that got me to watch it for the first time - but it's still just such an asshole move??

as for your question, i feel like that ABSOLUTELY would happen. even though apollo is technically like the "big name" in this, and would be offered roles without even an audition, i do think that his father may occasionally just have gotten him to sing demos and have to step in everywhere, seeing as his father was a director and producer and occasionally just needed an extra person to sing/act - but then the role wouldn't actually be given to apollo because his father wouldn't want that role for him or approve of it, or any other reason.

apollo probably didn't care much of the time (except his sleep deprivation definitely did, because also the flying across new york while being horribly sick and still having to sing?? definitely smth that has happened to apollo) but i bet there was at least a movie or a show or something that he was really disappointed about not being a part of :/

thank you for the ask!!

[plague-of-insomnia]

hm idk how ur gonna feel abt an ask like this but i do want to get smth off my chest & u seem p safe. feel free to delete if u want

i saw a post recently talking abt how "gay" got used as a slur a lot more than people acknowledge. and it got me thinking of my school years & how often it got thrown around.

thing is. and heres where my train of thought goes off the rails. i actually experienced the word "incest" as an attack more than the word "gay"... which. ill explain. but it really got me thinking on this whole purity culture & demonising of incest depicted in literature & yknow taking things too far with whats considered incest.

bc at the end of the day. the reason incest is illegal (mostly) is to prevent inbreeding & the health issues that come along with that. if ur not blood related then theres no problem.

and like. the reason i got called incestuous and generally ostracised was bc i was close with a boy in my year. like we dated for a week as 14 yros do. and at some point i discovered that hey. his last name is the same as my aunts and lo and behold hes my 2nd cousin thru marriage or smth. so. not incest at all.

anyway that p much ruined our friendship (& it was a friendship. i broke things off before i even knew we were related bc i just didnt feel the same way and we stayed friends for a little bit) all bc some kids couldnt let it go that we had the vaguest relation to each other. he got bullied for the rest of our school year & ive felt horribly guilty for leaving him bc i wanted to be "cool" & ended up without any close friends like we were.

sorry if thats a weird thing to put in ur inbox.

Hey, anon. I don't mind this ask. I hope you don't mind me replying publicly. (In future if you don't just say so.)

This post will be a bit long, so I'll go ahead and put it under a readmore.

TW for discussions of "gay" used in a negative way, and discussions of the use of the word "incest," and its association with child sexual abuse, though there's really nothing terribly bad here as I'm not going into detail on any of thse topics. (If you need something tagged, though, let me know.)

Now, I'm old as dirt by tumblr standards, and I remember VIVIDLY the word "gay" being used in a negative light. As a kid, I didn't really see it used as a "slur" per se, but it was used to mean something was bad.

Like, if you saw a movie that sucked, you'd say "Man, that movie was so gay." It meant something like "lame."

So obviously, it wasn't a good thing, and when I got a bit older and was explained why using the word was bad, I stopped, and fortunately most other kids did too and it mostly faded from use (in that sense) at least as far as I noticed.

(I'm not saying gay hasn't been used as a more nasty slur/word ofc, this is just my personal experience with it.)

Granted, keep in mind when I was in high school, our LGBTQ+ club was just the "Gay/Straight Alliance." Back then, it was basically, you were gay/lesbian, or you were an ally. We never talked about trans people or nonbinary people or ace/aro people. Ofc every one of those identities/kinds of people existed, but as far as my world went, they didn't. Most of my circle of friends was queer in some way, but many were closeted or semi-closeted for various reasons.

Anyway, sorry for that detour. Now, as to your incest situation. I'm sorry that happened to you. It definitely wasn't fair. You didn't have any way to know if you were related, and if/when you did it was "easy" to end the relationship. But kids are kids, and they always love to find a way to single people out, and they probably didn't really care what the actual truth was.

Even if you'd discovered having a similar name was total coincidence, I'm sure they'd still have bullied you for "incest."

I wasn't bullied for it, thankfully, but I did have a classmate in high school with the same last name as mine. My name is very common in some places, but where I lived at that time it was not, so everyone assumed we were fraternal twins. He was a nice enough guy, but I really didn't want people to think we were siblings. But no matter how many times we both explained we weren't related, no one believed us.

Sometimes, once someone makes their mind up about something, there's no changing it.

As for "abandoning" your friend because you didn't want to be left out and regretting it, I get that too. There was a guy I dated when I was around 16, and we were very passionate, but I think honestly I entered a major depressive episode and lost all interest in everything, including him, and... anyway, I regret how things ended between us even today, many, many years later. I wish I could shake my 16-year-old self and tell them not to be so cruel, but we can't change the past, only learn from it and move forward.

With regards to antis/purity culture taking incest so far, I do agree it has gotten ridiculous. As you said, the reason incest is taboo is because of inbreeding, because if your (general you) DNA is too closely related, you increase the chance of having major/significant diseases due to a lack of genetic diversity. But antis tend not to understand the WHY's behind things (since they also believe pedophilia is bad bc it's disgusting, and not because it hurts children, who become real grown adults).

But I have seen some really wild takes called incest. Like a ship from one fandom where the male and female characters are friends. A lot of people consider it "problematic" apparently, because they have a "sibling-like" relationship. They did not grow up together, they aren't related, and yet that's "incest" according to antis.

I do want to mention another reason that incest can/is considered so bad, and it's because, despite what antis may think, most sexual abuse of children comes from someone close to them in their lives, often a family member or close friend. So for a lot of people, when they think of "incest," they closely associate it with sexual abuse of a child. It's possible that's why antis get so upset about it. I don't know. But that is another aspect to it. (Ofc for you, in your past situation, you were both around the same age, so that's not the case, but that association is there.)

But, in the end, in fiction, it doesn't matter, because there are not actual children who can be conceived or harmed, and so the whole purpose behind why incest isn't allowed in many places in modern times doesn't exist.

I hope you're doing OK now, anon. Don't be to hard on yourself. A lot of people have done things when they were young teens they regret and wish they could "undo," but as long as you learned from that experience so you could become a better person than that 14-year-old version of you, I think you're doing OK.

Sending you some hugs. <3

[sunnychuuya]

Skipping any that r personal info

3. Feb 14th

4. Aquarius

5. I like alot but pastel colors >>> and also purple

6. 3, 4 and 7

7. 2 dogs, a corgi named Clifford and a double doodle named ellie

8. MURICA🤠 (why)

9. 5ft 7 last time I checked

10. 9½

11. ..... 23. 23 pairs of shoes. It's not an addiction i swear-

12. Idk I'm pretty sure it was smth about gojo-

13. Absurd amounts of knowledge on my hyperfixations!! But watercolors and writing

14. Lmao what does this mean

15. *glances at my spotify* uh.. good.. question may I submit 3674 answers? N-no?

16. I don't have a fav I like disney movies but I recently watched suzume it was pretty good

17. someone who loves and respects me also a cosplayer cuz couples cosplay >>> (also preferably taller than me? Prolly won't happen)

18. Idk bro

19. Nah

20. Nope raised an atheist

21. Yes I think 2 times for myself then for my brother like four times

22. Nah thankfully

23. YES I used to be obsessed with descendants and I met China Anne McLain

24. Depends- for getting clean definitely showers but I love baths so much

25. No socks in bed rn

26. No

27. Maybe. It would be cool but then there is also everything else.

28. I like the music I like not rlly picky I listen to alot of kpop and jpop tho

29. No. No desire too either

30. 1-4 and a stuffie on top of the pillow

31. I contort myself horribly during my sleep and also wake up incredibly sore! I've woken up half dangling off the bed more times than I can count

32. It's a good size

33. What's breakfast? [When I remember I like breakfast burritos and my moms chocolate Banana muffins]

34. Bb guns, nerf guns, never a real gun

35. YES AND I LOVE IT SM

36. Asking a writer their favorite word? How dare you.

37. MOTHERFUCKER it's so versatile and just rolls off the tongue!

38. At least 3 days !

39. I have a bunch of little scars all around my body due to clumsiness especially on my hands just little spots

40. No sadly not

41. Yes I can be very good at manipulation too!

42. Kinda

43. It seriously depends some days I can perfectly do an accent and then the next day I sound like I'm on crack but one I'm pretty consistently able to do is a subtle British accent and a southern accent

44. Nope

45. I think alot of accents r rlly cute but especially kr accents idk why I'm pretty sure it's bc of hwang hyunjin cuz I am cringe

46. Mbti? Intp

47. I'm not 100% sure but I think one of my dresses was about 45 bucks. I get most of my stuff from yard sales bc it's simply better

48. Yes! Hot dog and w

49. Innie ofc

50. Right handed but I'm getting better with my left hand so I can have bisexual hands

51. THOSE FUCKING DEMONS ARE TERRIBLE

52. Tacos is my go to

53. Most Asian food is fucking amazing sushi especially tho

54. I feel bad for saying it again but it depends-

55. Something involving the word fuck I'm sure. Or maybe "I'm gonna kms" cuz that's healthy

56. Fuck. I'm sure of that. Its not healthy but it's meee

57. If i just woke up- 45 minutes if it's midday 10

58. I don't think so

59. Suck until it's smaller then u crunch it

60. Yes

61. Absolutely

62. Friends say I am I think I'm decent like 7/10

63. Going blind

64. For ppl I hate yeah but my besties secrets are stored in a safe

65. Bro I have a shit memory you can't ask me this fuck

66. I think both r pretty but I have thick hair that tangles easy so I like to have mine short, long hair is nice to play with though

67. Hell no!

68. Science, except for physics that shit sucks

69. Introvert

70. No it seems fun tho

71. Everything cuz I got that mental illness heh

72. A bit, i can deal with it but it makes me anxious

73. If I can do it without being rude or if it's important yes

74. No.. *sweating and backing into the corner* (yes very much so especially on my sides)

75. Nothing big but some small things I'm sure

76. Babysitting my little brother that's it

77. No

78. No

79. The first person I recognized as a crush was my bff in 2nd grade and it spiraled into a shithole that made me lose him as a friend and get made fun of the whole year

80. 2 just a basic piercing on each ear, but I'm planning on getting second piercings on each ear and a belly button piercing within the next year, and a lip ring on the right in the future

81. I CANT IT MAKES ME ANGRY HOW DO YOU DO IT

82. Very fast but not coherently

83. Not

84. Brown but I've dyed the edges purple before, which faded into a silver green and a different time blue, I wanna do red next

85. Green blue

86. The outside basically. I'm allergic to mothefucking grass. No foods tho!

87. No I am too forgetful to do that I have tried many times and failed many times

88. Dad's a therapist

89. I simply don't understand the question

90. Lowkey got anger issues so alot, but being told to respect people even if they give me none pisses me off alot

91. It's nice but basic I like the name I go by online and my real name

92. I have spent 30+ hrs on baby name sites and only half of my ocs are names

93. Girl cuz seeing my brother grow up he's fucking insane

94. My creative works

95. Used to be too trustful, now it's the opposite

96. My grandpa suggested it to my parents

97. No fucking clue

99. Pink fades to blue

100. Blue grey

it's 3 am if this is incoherent don't blame me @sciionide @nugget-child

Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well

PLEASE DON’T LET THIS FLOP AHHHH

1. What is you middle name? 2. How old are you? 3. When is your birthday? 4. What is your zodiac sign? 5. What is your favorite color? 6. What’s your lucky number? 7. Do you have any pets? 8. Where are you from? 9. How tall are you? 10. What shoe size are you? 11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 12. What was your last dream about? 13. What talents do you have? 14. Are you psychic in any way? 15. Favorite song? 16. Favorite movie? 17. Who would be your ideal partner? 18. Do you want children? 19. Do you want a church wedding? 20. Are you religious? 21. Have you ever been to the hospital? 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? 23. Have you ever met any celebrities? 24. Baths or showers? 25. What color socks are you wearing? 26. Have you ever been famous? 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? 28. What type of music do you like? 29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 31. What position do you usually sleep in? 32. How big is your house? 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? 34. Have you ever fired a gun? 35. Have you ever tried archery? 36. Favorite clean word? 37. Favorite swear word? 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 39. Do you have any scars? 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? 41. Are you a good liar? 42. Are you a good judge of character? 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? 44. Do you have a strong accent? 45. What is your favorite accent? 46. What is your personality type? 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? 48. Can you curl your tongue? 49. Are you an innie or an outie? 50. Left or right handed? 51. Are you scared of spiders? 52. Favorite food? 53. Favorite foreign food? 54. Are you a clean or messy person? 55. Most used phrased? 56. Most used word? 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 58. Do you have much of an ego? 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? 60. Do you talk to yourself? 61. Do you sing to yourself? 62. Are you a good singer? 63. Biggest Fear? 64. Are you a gossip? 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? 66. Do you like long or short hair? 67. Can you name all 50 states of America? 68. Favorite school subject? 69. Extrovert or Introvert? 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? 71. What makes you nervous? 72. Are you scared of the dark? 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? 74. Are you ticklish? 75. Have you ever started a rumor? 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? 77. Have you ever drank underage? 78. Have you ever done drugs? 79. Who was your first real crush? 80. How many piercings do you have? 81. Can you roll your Rs?“ 82. How fast can you type? 83. How fast can you run? 84. What color is your hair? 85. What color is your eyes? 86. What are you allergic to? 87. Do you keep a journal? 88. What do your parents do? 89. Do you like your age? 90. What makes you angry? 91. Do you like your own name? 92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? 94. What are you strengths? 95. What are your weaknesses? 96. How did you get your name? 97. Were your ancestors royalty? 98. Do you have any scars? 99. Color of your bedspread? 100. Color of your room?

[estrogenboyfriend]

some questions i won't answer yet

expand read more to find out the answers:

19

masc enby femboy (he/him/any)

around 5'6? i don't remember

murica

i don't know or care

you can figure it out from my UID in genshin screenshots if you want

for now i'll only say english

turquoise

rice with soy sauce

idk currently

(possibly) coding OR playing video games

idk, i listen to obscure japanese stuff

don't have one currently

i can't choose

i don't have a favorite movie cuz i don't watch movies anymore

GENSHIN IMPACT!!!! it has become my new hyperfixation

i don't watch TV shows anymore either. but there are a few i wanna watch including toilet bound hanako kun which I have watched a bit of, and hazbin hotel which i've only seen the pilot of

i'm not into sports

same as favorite activity

my favorite article of clothing are DEFINITELY my pink femboy shorts. they are SOOOOOOO COMFYYYYYYY and cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love wearing them so muchhh

pansexual demiromantic with a VERY strong preference for guys

single (& recently broken up too) 😢

never had one

any guy(optional) who is bonded with me (i.e. i am hyper attached to them) and also sexually compatible with me (i.e. it's possible for me to adapt to what satisfies them)

any irl meetup with someone from whom i don't have to hide my identity

online: probably. irl: no

satisfying someone else, being appreciated (mostly just people liking/complimenting my body), and praise (call me a good boy PLEASE)

excessive misgendering, "sissy" stuff (please don't EVER call me that🤢), nipple/genital piercings (sorry), excessive bondage, strain on the genitals (done by certain contraptions i've seen and it looks super disturbing), catheters, and any phobia that i have (needles and sharp objects near "veiny" areas, insects, excessive gore, etc). a lot of those are not just turn offs, but also triggers

not rn, no

not that i'm aware of

not yet

around 5? maybe more...

only reddit, discord, and tumblr

u/xhydrochaeris, xhydrochaeris (i don't accept friend requests unless i know you), and @estrogenboyfriend

no, i don't like NSFW subreddits/pages and don't really find them appealing

discord > tumblr > reddit (????)

none lol, i'm a fucking lonely ass nobody everywhere

yes, all of them

uhm i don't know? probably very little compared to average for the actual functions of social media, but a LOT to communicate with others

idk lol probably some 冰淇淋 shit that i got obsessed with ages ago

black/very dark brown

black/very dark brown

no i don't, I'm pretty enough without makeup

uhm medium for a girl, long for a boy. i am a boy but girl standards apply more to me since i present femininely

kinda fat but fem (i am working on my body, eating disorder fucked me up tho)

extremely messy, naturally curly, so it just is a constant mess

usually a t-shirt, hoodie/sweater, and sweatpants.

no

no

online: yes, if you mean me with a boy. but it doesn't really happen anymore....

idk i forgot (memories are not sorted and i'm not gonna bother sorting them)

idk i ACTUALLY forgot, like forgetting on demand which is apparently something that i can do if i try hard enough...

no bruh eww lung cancer

nope

no

does pirating music and video games count? oh and also hacking(homebrewing) my new nintendo 2DS XL

uh probably not, im a good kid

YES... A LOT. i have sleep issues.....

anything that has been within 0.5m of an onion/garlic. those fuckers are NASTY, they smell horrible, taste horrible, and their smell and taste LINGERS in your fucking mouth for DAYS.... YYYYYUUUUUUUCCKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes

not sure if i've met any famous people

i kinda forgot ... i have a bunch of japanese CDs/records that i like but those haven't seen the light of day ever since I got burnout months ago

baizhu in genshin impact because i WHALED for him 😢 I was so desperate but hey at least i got him now :3

GTA V on epic games cuz it was on sale

probably my phone or laptop or smth idk

my homebrewed new nintendo 2DS XL which is so fucking cool because nintendo wants it to die but i am keeping it alive against their will and i really need to start playing with it again.

奥村チヨ - 恋の奴隷 / 眠くなるまで (vinyl 7" single, jun 1 1969) https://www.discogs.com/release/3249405-%E5%A5%A5%E6%9D%91%E3%83%81%E3%83%A8-Chiyo-Okumura-%E6%81%8B%E3%81%AE%E5%A5%B4%E9%9A%B7-%E7%9C%A0%E3%81%8F%E3%81%AA%E3%82%8B%E3%81%BE%E3%81%A7

i mean, the sega genesis model 1 that i have qualifies as futuristic, doesn't it? in fact i think it's way more futuristic that a LOT of stuff that have come out recently. being "futuristic" isn't about features, it's about aesthetic, and those designers in 1989 LARPed futurism WAY better than whoever the fuck is in charge of the capitalist machine nowadays

idk, check my weird shit drawer. i once had a massive dick-shaped crumpled up paper object but i think it's been recycled now.

phone and laptop. couldn't even do basic shit without them.

i said this before, my favorite article of clothing are DEFINITELY my pink femboy shorts. they are SOOOOOOO COMFYYYYYYY and cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love wearing them so muchhh

my hard drive. don't worry, there's nothing sussy on there, just 8+ TB of illegally downloaded music

money

some clothes for men just sitting in my closet... they disturb me so much and i fucking hate them

yes

BOTH. i place equal value on both yellow and purple. on light backgrounds, it's purple, on dark backgrounds, it's yellow.

i don't like either, but i dislike taylor swift a TINY bit less

neither, the nerds can fight over this without me

sour. i have terrible spice tolerance

i guess i'd prefer cold cuz i could cover up more. hot weather would require me to show off my body even when i'm under the most dysphoria...

this kinda contradicts the last question, but summer because more free time

i am masculine in a feminine way 💙

video games

PC, but for proprietary media, nintendo

uhm i really don't know honestly

idk...but i have a pet dog

whichever has the least rules and strategizing involved. i am NOT gonna spend thousands of spoons on a game i have to learn for months and years before i can even enjoy it slightly

....what?

.......what??

...don't know

neither

lemon juice probably

if i'm in the US, neither. if i'm in europe, then mcdonalds (there is a MASSIVE difference because of capitalism which makes sure that all murican fast food and processed foods SUCK ASS and are filled with unhealthy AND un-tasty junk, and the government can't do shit to regulate the hypergigacorporations that are doing this bullshit)

uhhh depends on my mood really. maybe horror?

MAYBE alternative rock, idk..... it's hard to pick

not gonna lie, lotr is IMPOSSIBLE for me to get into and it takes 50 million spoons, but i won't pick harry potter any time soon because jk rowling is a prick, so if i'm FORCED to, it's gonna be lotr. FYI i don't enjoy any nerd media at all due to the sheer amount of effort it takes to get into them and keep up with them. it's like i'm almost completely incompatibility with them

again, i don't fucking know.

i don't want either, please leave me alone

invisibility.

i haven't listened to either so i don't know

soccer, because i don't understand baseball at all, and i kiiiinda understand soccer very little

yep a pet dog

question 33

i'm about to go to university

a B in a particularly shitty class (the professor was a prick)

As in literally all except 1 class

most programming classes

no

no

i am ABOUT to start working out. not at a gym tho, just gonna do some workouts at home and see how it goes.

probably not

maybe? idk?

[lovecatsys]

130-140?☺️

130. What’s the craziest thing you’ve learned about the music business?

crazy in a "wow I had no idea way" but my mom told me about this episode of a show she was watching or smth where there was an interview with some sort of music production guy who said that almost all singers throughout the history of recording music needed minor adjustments from autotune to get the voice to the right pitch. Apparently this guy also said that David Bowie was one of the few musicians who NEVER needed that! Because he took so many voice lessons when he was younger, he had the training to hit the notes perfectly. I wouldn't quote me on this exactly but I can ask my mom what show and episode it was if anyone is curious.

131. What’s an artist band you couldn’t even be paid to see live?

Taylor Swift. Or Imagine Dragons tbh

132. What’s an artist you’d kill to see live?

Placebo, I wanna see them so bad dammit! But idk if they'll ever come to America and I don't have a passport :(

Also David Bowie if this hypothetical killing someone else could bring him back from the dead.

133. What’s some the most obscure band/artist you know?

Omg okay my favorite answer to give to this is Otis Zee and the Zambuka band who I found on this random obscure playlist album called "Gems of the 60s and 70s" that has like a stock photo cover of gems with SUPER obscure artists that I doubt anyone has heard of before. Anyways they only have two songs on spotify and both are about Christmas. They're like a funk band. I think I found this playlist through another artist on it who I found a spotify link to on this website that had like.... thousands of links to musical artists on Spotify categorized by genre. No clue what it was called this was a while ago and I'm no longer friends with the person who showed it to me 😭.

134. Which non English sung music(and excluding your mother language) do you listen to the most?

Oh man, I barely listen to anything non English at all, but I'm gonna say Japanese because I used to listen to YMO a lot and I have a headmate who listened exclusively to J-Pop when she was around.

135. What’s a music pet peeve of youre?

when I find an obscure artist who's music I love but they turn out to be a terrible person. Like with famous artists who are bad people its not really the same and u can just pirate them, but when you find someone who has like 2 fans and their music and vibes are immaculate but they turn out to be a TERF (actual thing that happened to me 😭) it sucks so bad

136. What are some of the most creative musicians you can think of?

Bowie is definitely up there for me. Also Nova Twins, their music is super creative and interesting. Maybe Placebo goes on this list to. I feel like Nova Twins though, you have a hard time really putting them in with a specific genre, they're just so unique!

137. What is your first favorite song based on memory?

My parents listened to a lot of folk, americana, bluegrass, and country when I was little, so that was pretty much most of what I had exposure to at the time lol. I remember my favorite song being Caroline by Old Crow Medicine Show at one point, probably the earliest I can think of.

138. What is your first favorite band/artist based on memory?

I really loved Dido at one point, idk how early that was but I think it might be her. I still listen to some of her stuff occasionally, I love her voice and her style, plus it gives me nostalgia now.

139. What is your first favorite album based on memory?

Jagged Little Pill by Alanis Morissette was the first "album" I was really conscious of, and it definitely was my favorite when I was like 12, because my mom would play the CD in the car as we drove places. Funny, because she would always tell me it was her favorite album when she was 12-13, because thats how old she was when it came out, and shed play it in the CD player in her room.

140. What’s a lyric you’ve horribly misheard?

Oml I just figured out I was wrong abt this one like a couple weeks ago but for a long time I thought Bowie was saying "inspiration have I none just to touch the flaming gnome" instead of "flaming dove" 😭

[chronic-invisibility]

Possible tw for ed mentions, sh mentions, meltdowns, and gi issues

So i’ve been having horrible gi issues on and off for months, and then when i started new antidepressants they got worse, so i stopped taking them (as instructed by my psychiatrist, don’t stop taking meds without talking to your doctor) and we waited a while and then were like ok let’s try something else. Same problem. I’ve basically been living in the bathroom, i can barely go to work, i had to go to urgent care last week it was so bad. So i finally saw a gi specialist today and we’re basically going to have to try systematically ruling things in my diet out to see if any of those are the problem, do some bloodwork, and if none of that gives us any answers, do a colonoscopy. I’m already stressed as fuck bc having wicked diarrhea several times a day and no solutions and having to go to work anyway while all this is happening is really bad, but as someone with limited foods i eat in the first place due to my sensory issues from autism and also an undiagnosed ed (which is rapidly turning from probably osfed or smth into just full blown fear of food and eating bc i have no clue what’s setting my stomach off) this is going to be really hard. The first thing he wants me to stop eating is dairy, and cheese is one of my safe foods. If i don’t eat cheese for 4-5 days like he’s suggesting, i’m basically just not going to eat lunch the whole time. And then if that’s not it, try other things, like fresh fruits and veggies, which i actually do like, so that’ll suck, too, and then soy and eggs and then wheat.

If none of it helps, I’m going to have to get a colonoscopy, which is deeply unpleasant when you’re healthy but even worse if you’re not, and i’ve also had a pretty bad relapse with sh recently and that will be very visible if i have to do a colonoscopy, which is also stressing me out. I don’t want to do a colonoscopy, mostly bc of how awful it is but also bc i don’t know what they’ll say or do if they see pretty fresh cvts all over my hips, i’m an adult so they probably can’t tell my parents without breaking a bunch of hipaa laws, but who knows what they’d do. Not me. I’m really not sure what’s going to happen, and i’m stressed about cutting back my already limited diet, and honestly i don’t think any of the foods he wants me to stop eating are the problem, bc it’s not like “oh when i eat bread i shit myself” or “oh when i eat cheese i shit myself” or any of that, really, i just have horrible horrible abdominal pain and have to rush to the bathroom 3-5 times a day. And it gets better after like 4pm ish anyway but i feel like that might be bc i’ve not really been eating breakfast or lunch most days and by that point there’s just literally nothing left in my system to come out, and then i eat a small but otherwise normal dinner, maybe a snack, and then it starts all over again the next day. I just don’t know what’s going on, and that’s why i went to see a specialist, but i feel like some of the things we might have to do are going to cause more distress than just having horrible gi issues forever. And i can’t exactly say “i’m not going to do that even if it might fix the problem bc i’m a whiny pathetic baby” and i’m DEFINITELY not going to say anything about the sh stuff, i’m just hoping he finds something between the lab work and the diet stuff and we don’t have to do the colonoscopy. But honestly if i end up being lactose intolerant i’m not going to stop eating dairy, we’ll just have to find a way to mitigate symptoms bc that would be cutting out one of the main things i do eat and that seems like a worse plan than avoiding it. If it’s soy or gluten or whatever i can deal, plenty of people have celiac or soy intolerances or any number of other things, but if this is lactose i’m not gonna be able to just do alternatives and give it up. I’m just not. And if none of this is the problem and the colonoscopy doesn’t give us answers either then i have no clue what to do. Obviously that’s why i saw him, bc he’s the one who has to figure it out, but i’m stressed. And meanwhile i basically just have to not be on any antidepressants bc they keep making it worse. Hopefully if we can figure out what’s causing the problem we can do something to either fix or manage it, and eventually i can go back on some kind of antidepressants bc i really shouldn’t be completely unmedicated, i’m such an asshole and i keep having meltdowns and making everyone around me miserable. Which also side note, i used to think i never had meltdowns growing up but i definitely did i just didnt know that’s what they were, i thought sometimes i just cried hysterically for hours and could barely function afterwords and it was just part of life, but now i know what it is and jesus it fucking sucks, i hate it so much. The one on sunday was even worse than usual i basically destroyed my room and hit my head on the floor and my bedframe a bunch and made my parents even more upset than usual, it was awful and i hate it so much. I guess part of the reason i thought i didnt have meltdowns is bc for a few years the meds i was on made me so numb i literally couldnt have anything close to that and was basically a zombie but before that i used to just collapse and cry and cry and cry and barely be able to talk or do anything for a day or so after and i guess that’s what my meltdowns are.

Idk all of this just kinda sucks really bad and i there’s almost nothing i can do about it other than see if it’s a diet issue or something else and hope i wont have to do a colonoscopy and hope we find some kind of solution bc i cant keep living like this.

[straykats]

.

[nctsworld]

two nights, one you

✩‌ jaemin ‌x‌ ‌reader‌ ‌|‌ fuckboy!jaemin | strangers (who f*ck) to (brief) enemies to lovers | ‌10.9k 

SUMMARY‌ ‌⇾‌ a last-minute one night stand gone awry is extended into two nights when you’re snowed in at the cute (but rude) stranger’s apartment on christmas eve. [loosely based on the movie, two night stand] // part of the x-mas in ncity collection  GENRES ⇾ crack | smut | fluff  WARNINGS‌ ‌⇾‌ ‌lots of bickering and dialogue, smut, oral s*x (f and m receiving), fingering, mentions of alcohol/drinking, swearing, bit of angst before the end, jaemin’s an asshole... or is he? RATING‌ ‌⇾‌ explicit TAGLIST ⇾‌ @infnteen​ 

AUTHOR’S NOTE ⇾ it’s late (and long fsldkm), srysry but here it is! i hope the humour comes out in this and look away if falls flat zzz fingers crossed that i can finish the last two installments for this collection asap! 

⇾ gif created by me, please don’t repost or share without credit!

Maybe it’s because it’s the evening of Christmas Eve Eve and you’re feeling more lonely than usual.

Maybe it’s due to the two glasses of wine you guzzled down in the span of fifteen minutes that get you buzzed.

Maybe it’s your prominent six-month dry spell and you’re in desperate need for some much needed rain in your drought.    

Or maybe it’s just pure impulsiveness.

Regardless of the reasons, you’re aiming to get laid tonight.  

It’s 9:45pm as you make the rounds on Tinder. You’ve used it in the past, searching for a relationship in vain, but haven’t used it much since you broke up with your last partner. Bringing the app alive again, you’re already bombarded by distasteful messages, off-putting one-liners and jokes, and swiping left more than you’d like.

You haven’t had a one-night stand before, but isn’t there anyone on here that is just a little bit attractive, nearby where you are, around your age, and is somewhat chivalrous about the topic besides saying DTF? Maybe you need to lower your standards if you want to get dicked down tonight.

But then, you land on him.

One Na Jaemin, 20 years old, and only four miles away from you.

Scrolling through his profile pictures and Instagram feed, you assume that he’s into photography, is on the athletic side from the various hobbies he partakes in, and he must be at least half-aware of his beauty because there’s the occasional pic that shows off his lean, toned arms, which, if you can be frank, is more flattering than the shirtless ones you constantly see. Oh, and he attends the same university as you.

The cherry on top? His bio is simple and upfront:

“Not up for anything serious, but always down for a good time ;)”

You swipe right without hesitation.

“It’s a Match!” flashes instantly at you. Your mouth swings open in disbelief.  

Usually, you’d wait for your matches to message you and play hard-to-get, but not tonight. Tonight, you’re initiating and leading all the conversations, completely driven by your thirst.  

Messaging Jaemin is a breeze. He types with more than half a brain, and he flirts, but it isn’t overwhelming or repulsive. Segueing the current topic, you drag your bottom lip upward as you send the following message:  

so, hypothetically... if one were to have good time with you would tonight work?

Not even twenty seconds later and he replies with:

-wow, dont you go straight to the point -im impressed -but yeah -tonight works ;)

He’s quick to send his address.

-let me know when ur here and ill come get you out front!

Smacking your lips together, you squeal to yourself in the comfort of your home, excited to meet with him, but then a thought hangs over you—this feels a little too good to be true. Horrible scenarios run through your head, so your fingers dash across your phone’s keyboard:

tbh i haven’t really done this b4 so im kinda new to this is it ok if we video call or smth? gotta make sure you’re real and not a serial killer i’m sure you understand 😛

-for sure for sure -totally get it -ive had my fair share of fake girls and serial killers so i feel u 😛

Grateful for his consideration, you rush to rearrange your hair after you send him a Zoom link, hoping you look decent enough to not have him back off from his initial offer. He appears in the video call on his phone with the front-facing camera on a few seconds after you connect.

“Hi,” you chirp.

A corner of his mouth lifts. “Hey.”  

Okay, he’s definitely cuter in real-time than in his pictures.  

“You know, I’m not gonna lie, but I lowkey expected to see a dick or something,” you joke in an attempt to dispel your nervousness.  

“Same,” he chuckles, running a hand through his black hair.

Oh God, he’s not just cute—he’s devastatingly gorgeous.

“So, this is my place...”

Jaemin moves around with his apartment in the background, revealing his living room first. Envy prods you as you note the brick walls, high ceiling windows, and well-appointed furnishings.

Recalling his address, you ask, “How’d you get a place in the heart of the city?”

“Lucked out,” he shrugs. His phone shakes a bit as he’s still moving. “My friend slash roommate—who is at his girlfriend’s place tonight, so we have the place all to ourselves—his parents own the condo and they gave me a friend discount on the rent.”

He finally stands in one place and turns the light on to reveal a room. “And this is my bedroom.”

Nothing out of the ordinary. A desk table with a gaming set-up, in tow with a gamer chair, and a decently-sized bed beside a nightstand.

“Oh, and here’s my closet.” Jaemin’s on the move again as he opens his closet doors. “Just to make sure you don’t think I hide the skins of my past one-nighters in here.”

A bubbly laugh rises from you. “Okay, I didn’t think of that before, but now you’ve planted the seed in my head. Maybe you hide them in the other rooms.”

“Nah, my roommate would kill me if I did.”

Both of you laugh in unison, and you bob your head with puffed cheeks.  

“Okay, it all seems very promising. I’m going to get ready and I’ll guess I’ll see you in a bit, Jaemin.”

“Sounds good,” Jaemin nods, then winks. Although you’re sitting down, he’s still able to get you weak in the knees. “See you soon.”

You end the call and rush to bundle up for the snow starting to come down outside. A twenty-minute train ride later, you’re at the front door of a rustic, industrial apartment complex. After informing Jaemin you’re outside, you glance up at the snowflakes falling from the dark pink-grey sky, anticipating for what comes next.

Sex with a hot guy, what can go wrong?  

So, you must’ve jinxed it because the sex is...  

Unsatisfying. Finished faster than you’d like it to be. Sadly, overall disappointing. If you had to rate it, three out of five stars, at best.

But hey, he came, and you sort of did, and it wasn’t the worst sex you’ve ever had. It half-quenched your dry spell.

And enough happened that it tired you out, leaving you passed out in the handsome stranger’s bed until morning.

In the morning, your eyes slowly flicker, unused to the foreign, sweet scent engulfing you in your bed. Correction: Jaemin’s bed.

Your eyes flicker faster as you glance through the almost wall-sized window. The snow hasn’t let up from last night. On the contrary, it seems like it’s snowing non-stop. You groan at the thought of going home in this weather.

The bed is without Jaemin’s presence as you reach for your phone on the nightstand. 10:36AM and a few notifications greet you. You rub your eyes and start combing through them, rising upward to sit up on the bed.

“Morning. You’re finally up.”

Peering up from your device, Jaemin’s standing by the door with folded arms. His plain sweater and sweatpants match the colour of his hair. The dazzling smile he gives is so contagious, you’re not even conscious of catching one too.  

“Out you go.”

You blink.

Once, twice, and then you tilt your head as you stare blankly at him, uncertain if you heard him correctly.

After a few moments, because you’re not moving an inch, his smile dissipates and he cocks an eyebrow in expectancy. A serious expression rolls over his face.  

Suddenly, Jaemin strolls to the side of the bed and hitches his thumb towards the door.

You definitely heard him right.

And he’s dead-serious.

You replay the video call from last night, dissecting how you thought he was nice and funny and—

Realization dawns on you.

Why would you expect anything more from a two-faced fuck boy?

Still awestruck by the situation, you’re still solid as a statue, so Jaemin takes matters into his own hands and grasps you by your elbow, casually dragging you from his bed like he’s taking out the trash.  

“What the fuck?!” you screech.

“C’mon, let’s go. Out out.”

“My clothes, though!” you protest in the middle of the hallway. He sighs in frustration, scurries to the bedroom, and returns with a small pile in his arms, then continues to drag you to the front door.  

“Are you always this pleasant with your guests the morning after?” you rage, putting on the rest of your clothes by the door. “You don’t even have the decency to offer me tea or coffee?”

“This was a one-night stand, not a bed and breakfast, sunshine,” he says as he watches you put your shoes on. He’s folding his arms again and leaning against the wall, his attitude dripping with smug. If he wasn’t a stranger, you’d punch it off his face. “You weren’t kidding when you said you were new to this, huh?”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!”

“It means you’re a borderline virgin who needs to toodle-loo, get going and gone because you’re overstaying your welcome as we speak.”

Finishing putting on your coat, you’re fuming as your jaw hangs at the personal jab over your skills in bed. Jaemin swings the door open and shoves you through it.

“But I’ll admit, it was still nice having sex with you!” he chimes with a sickening grin and a hand on the door.  

“Aw, thanks asshole, wish I could say the same,” you sarcastically reply, resting a palm upon your chest.  

He scoffs. “From what I heard last night, I think I can confidently say that you had a great time.”

Flashbacks replay in your mind of your screaming fest from underneath him. Little did Jaemin actually know—

“You know, for someone who I assume has many one-night stands,” you spit with squinted eyes. “I’m surprised you can’t tell when girls fake it.”

You must’ve hit a sore spot because he grinds his teeth and you could almost see the steam coming out of his ears.

Oh yeah, you’re definitely the winner in this fight.

“Okay, you know what, Merry Christmas and fuck you. Have a great life!”

“Fuck you, dickface. Wishing you a miserable Christmas!”

With a bitter smile, you flip him off as he slams the door in your face.

Carrying a basket filled with dirty clothes, Jaemin’s on the way down to the laundry room in the basement of his apartment with his shoulder scrunched up, squeezing his phone to his ear.

“Bro, she had the audacity to say that I didn’t make her come when she was screaming my God damn ear off—”

As he steps down the short flight of stairs and passes by the foyer area by the main entrance to the building, he notices you’re still here.

“Shit, uh, Jeno,” he mumbles. “I’m gonna have to call you back.”

He stuffs his phone into the pocket of his sweats and calls out to you as he strides closer. “Are you resorting to stalking me by my front door now?”

With crossed arms, you peer over your shoulder, eyes full of bitterness.

“Like I wanna be anywhere near you right now,” you grumble. You jerk your head towards the thick, wooden door. “It’s jammed from the snow.”

The laundry carrier shakes his head and places the basket onto the floor. “A little snow never hurt anyone. You’re probably just too weak.”

Stepping aside and holding out an arm, you signal for him to give it a try.

Jaemin twists the handle and, lo and behold, it doesn’t open. His forehead crinkles as he tries again and again, using more force each time.

Glancing through one of the partially frosted windows adjacent to the sides of the door, he notices the snow has piled enormously high, almost to the height of his chest.

“Well, shit.”  

Reluctantly, Jaemin brings you back to his apartment. You’re technically his guest and if he left you in the foyer to freeze, trouble would surely come his way, whether it be in the form of his landlords (also known as his roommate’s parents) or the police.

Without a word, he settles a spoon in a bowl, a carton of milk, and a box of cereal onto the small kitchen table.

At first, you stare at it venomously in rejection, thinking you can easily last a day without any hand-outs from this son of a bitch, but your stomach roars ferociously three seconds later.

As you chew across from him, you enjoy the company of your phone over him, while he does the same but with a cup of coffee in hand.

After finishing your food, you adamantly place your phone down and lean back into the chair, boring holes into his head.

“Why are you such an asshole?” you seethe observantly.

“Why are you such a bitch?” he retorts, not pulling his gaze away from his phone.

“Because you started it,” you say slowly, stating the obvious.

“No, you.”

You sigh defeatedly at his childish behaviour. The weather apps predict the snow will (hopefully) die down by tomorrow morning, thus you’re officially stuck with him for the next twenty-four hours or so. Your hands rake through your hair.

“Whether we like it or not, the snow isn’t going away until tomorrow. Merry Christmas Eve to us, I guess.”

He’s still glued to his phone. You exhale another sigh.

“Since we’re not getting out of this until then, can we just...” You soften your voice. “Start over?”

His eyes are still on the screen, but from the way his shoulders tense and how he stops scrolling, you know he’s considering your proposition.

“At least call a stalemate over this.” You drift your hand in the air, gesturing between you and him.

Blowing out air and shaking his head, he rests his phone onto the table.

“Fine.”

He crosses his arms, imitating you, and the two of you sit there, staring at each other in a long silence.  

One minute, to be exact.

You’re the one to break the silence game by running your hands over your face, letting out a hybrid of a groan and laugh.

“God, the fact that we had sex makes this kinda awkward, huh?”

Jaemin’s exterior melts slightly, letting out a snicker. He shrugs, “Then let’s just pretend that we didn’t have sex.”

“We can’t just pretend that we didn’t have sex,” you say, holding two upturned palms near your face.

“We did it, it’s done. I’ve seen your penis, you kicked me out, and you labelled me a prude—” You dart a finger towards him. “—which I am far from, by the way. All of those are pretty huge things.”

One of the corners of his mouth raises high. “Are you saying my penis is huge?”

“No, the implication of said penis is huge. Wipe that smirk off your face.”

He stretches an arm, holding an imaginary microphone to your face. “Do you deny that my penis is huge?”

Rolling your eyes, you swat his fist away. “What am I, on trial here?”

“Do you plead the fifth then?”

Annoyed, you roll your eyes again. Why do you get the feeling that you’re probably going to be doing this a lot more today? Another feeling tells you that if you don’t answer his question, he’ll probably pester you until you do.

You tilt your head side to side. “It’s... decently sized.”

“Bigger or smaller than average?”

“Perfect...” His eyes light up. “...ly average.” And a frown rolls over.

He squints his eyes accusingly at your sneer. “Are you lying like you did before about faking it?”

You scoff. “I wasn’t lying about faking it, and I’m not lying now about your average sized dick.”

Jaemin releases a disgruntled grumble and lifts his cup to his face. You notice he likes to take his coffee black and bitter, presumably like his heart.

“So, Miss I’m-Not-A-Prude-and-I’ve-Definitely-Had-Sex-Before.” His eyebrows perk up on the word definitely. “What’s your story? Why the last minute one-night stand?”

Shrugging your shoulders to your ears, you reply, “Haven’t had sex in a while.”

“When’s the last time you had sex?” he asks mid-sip.

“Half a year ago,” you respond nonchalantly, perching your chin into your palms.

Jaemin immediately chokes, almost spraying the coffee through his nose.

“Half a year?!” he gasps. It takes him a few hits to his chest to dispel the coughing. “Six months?!”

“Wow, you can count!” you exclaim in a condescending tone. You change the position of your hands so that your chin is now atop of the back of your curled fingers and tilt your head. “Can you also spell?”

“As a premed student, I can assure you that I am capable of doing both,” he says with a slight strain due to the coughing fit. The humble brag brings on another eye roll. Of course he’s a premed student with the attitude he wears.

“It’s just—” He clears his throat and swallows the last bit of coffee stuck in his windpipe. “—The last time I had a dry spell was for like, a month, tops.”

So the fuckboy gets laid way more on the daily than you expect. You’re torn between being envious over how much action he gets in comparison to you, or remorseful, since you’re now just one of the many notches on his bedpost.

No matter, sarcasm is always the best defence mechanism.

“Good for you, Jaemin. I’m sure you’re very proud of that.”

There’s an awkward beat. His head hangs for a moment while his thumbs stroke the sides of his cup. A strange pinch of guilt occurs. Did you overstep an unspoken line? But then he drags himself back to reality in a heartbeat.

Jaemin brings the cup to his mouth again, mumbling, “At least the sex on your part makes more sense now; you’re rusty as fuck.”

Completely aware of what he said, you trash your guilt entirely and narrow your eyes. “What did you just say?”

Following a long sip, he hums, “Mmm, nothing.” Soon after, he stands up with his cup.

“I’m gonna go game now. Feel free to watch Netflix on the TV and stay in the living room.”

As if you had anywhere else to go...  

He begins to walk towards his room as you mutter under your breath, “I’m not a dog.”

“Says the bitch,” he pipes up, taking you by surprise.  

“Thought we had a stalemate?!” you shout, leaning your head forward as you watch him entering his room.  

“Doesn’t mean we’re on peaceful terms!” he sing-shouts.

The flinging of the closed door echoes throughout the apartment.

Regret surges through you. You just had to choose a fuckboy fluent in assholery and end up incidentally being isolated with him during a snow storm on Christmas Eve.

You wonder if you can handle being around him for the next twenty-four hours without killing him first.

During the afternoon, you’re on the living room couch, playing a show as mostly background noise while you’re on your phone. At one point, your phone unsurprisingly begins to die and you tread over to Jaemin’s door to ask for a charger and if you can also take a shower. He’s still annoyed by your existence, but at least he hands you a charger and lets you know where the extra towels are.

Stepping into the living room with the towel in your hand as you dry your hair off, you peer out the large living room window and see nothing but white engulfing the streets and buildings as far as the eye can see.

You pray the snow will eventually stop as soon as possible so you can head back home.

By the middle of the afternoon, Jaemin emerges from his bedroom and shocks you by plopping down on the opposite end of the living room couch from where you’re sitting.

“Bored?” you ask, eyes fixated on the TV screen.

“Nope,” he replies, popping the p as he says it. His slings his arm around the top of the couch.

“Gotta keep an eye on you in case you do something.” Turning away from the screen, he faces you and motions circles with his hand. “You’ve got a little crazy in you, I can feel it.”

You quickly glance over at him, but try to refocus on the TV. “Need I remind you that you’re the crazy one, dragging me out of the apartment right as I woke up.”

That compels him to turn his whole body towards you. “Well, you’re the one who wanted a last-minute one-night stand.”

You match his stance. “As if I’m the first girl in your bed to stay in the morning?”

“Actually, yeah.” He aggressively tilts his head to one side. “Most girls leave before I even get up. The other percentage don’t fight me when I ask for them to go, so it looks like you’re the odd one out.”  

You press your lips together, refusing to admit that maybe he has a point, under the assumption that he’s telling the truth.

Jaemin twists his body back to the screen and adds, “I make it very clear on my profile that I don’t do morning afters, sweetheart.”

And you agree that his profile is clear about his intentions, but that doesn’t mean you can condone his shitty behaviour.

“Well, sorry that I expected just an ounce of respect instead of getting kicked to the curb after you stuck your dick in me,” you grumble, shifting back to the show and crossing your arms.

“Morning afters lead to attachments, and attachments lead to feelings, and feelings lead to relationships,” he says the string of words clinically, as if it’s a mantra that he lives by.

Your eyebrows knit together as you whip your head towards him once more, studying him.

“And what’s so wrong with that?”

Deliberately averting your gaze, Jaemin grates his tongue between his teeth, a slight tsk audibly heard, and his chin juts out. There’s definitely a story behind his ways. He huffs and changes the subject.  

“Seriously?” He holds a hand out. “You’re watching this trashy show?”

Squinting your eyes at him, you could probably interrogate him further, but you decide otherwise.  

“It may be trashy,” you concur, looking at the TV. “But it’s my trashy comfort show.”

Following an over-the-top acted out scene between the show’s main love interests, Jaemin shoots up from the couch.

“Yeah, no, I can’t handle this. Can we either put on something else or game or something?”

“Why don’t you go back to your room to game, Mr. I’m-Not-Bored?”

“Like I said, I gotta keep an eye on you,” he says while bending over in front of the TV, already setting up the Playstation. He tosses you a controller as he strides to his side of the couch again.

He mumbles to himself, “Need to make sure you don’t go crazy from the lack of human interaction.”

Either Jaemin is selfish and only looking out for himself, or he wants to make sure you’re not feeling lonely in a stranger’s home.

Likely the first reason, you deduce—because why would a guy like Jaemin care about a mere one-night stand?

Admittedly, you’re not the best at games, especially at fighting ones. You can comprehend the move lists, but you like to live by button smashing the controller and repeating moves over and over.  

So it’s hilarious when you beat Jaemin every round with your surprisingly fruitful technique.

“Okay, this is bullshit,” Jaemin complains, sticking his tongue out in irritation. His ass is currently being handed to him on a plate again since you’re almost done killing his character off. “You must be lying to me; you have to be a pro player or some shit.”

Jaemin’s health bar is dangerously low as your character jabs his with a sword. He winces out loud and you snicker.

“Why do you think I always lie about everything?! Dude, you have serious trust issues,” you joke before you steal the opportunity to slice his character. One more hit and he’s done for.

“I do not! I just—nooo!”

You rise to your feet and pump your arms in the air, turning in circles in joy over yet another win.

Sulking, Jaemin eyes your little dance from his end on the couch, but as he watches you more, a feeling balloons in his chest. Something he hasn’t felt in a long time.

Finally coming down from your post-win high, you spot an emerging grin from the corner of your eye, making you pause.    

“What?” you eye him suspiciously.

Your suspicion pops the sensation in his chest and, like a fish out of water, his eyes widen and his grin melts away.

“Nothing, uhm.” He ruffles his eyebrows and palms the back of his neck, quickly facing the TV. “Let’s go one more round and then we can switch to another game—”

Suddenly, the TV and surrounding lights switch off. Both of you waver your eyes, anticipating for them to come back on, but they unfortunately don’t.  

Jaemin rushes over to the window. When he swivels his head towards you, his face darkens.

“Looks like it’s at least the whole block. The streetlights are out too.”

Without another word, he dashes to the linen closet and brings back several blankets. He calmly explains that there won’t be heat since it’s connected to the electricity, so it’d be best to keep warm with the extra layers.

Not wanting to scare you, he doesn’t add the fact that due to the huge windows in the apartment, more unnecessary cold air will come in, but you’re already cognizant of it from your own logic and since the remaining heat dissolves rapidly.

You groan and retreat into the massive blanket over your shoulders, turtling your head.

You can’t believe you’re going to fucking die in this asshole’s apartment on Christmas Eve.

On the ends of the couch in your makeshift blanket jackets, both of you attend to your phones for a while.

From what people and the news outlets are saying, it’s not just the block, but the whole city grid is out. You frantically text your friends, giving updates on how you are and half-jokingly telling them that you’re going to die with your dreadful one-night stand. Some time passes and Jaemin tosses his phone  off to one side.  

“Well, since there’s nothing else to do and we should probably conserve our phone batteries—” You glance up at him from your phone and pout. Slowly nodding in agreement, you toss it aside too. “—why don’t we play a game of ‘I’ll-Give-You-Pointers-on-How-to-be-Better-in-Bed’?”

A smile burgeons on his irritatingly handsome face and your eyes roll. At this point, you wonder if the reaction is conditioned into you. “It’ll be my early Christmas gift to you.”

“Wow, so thoughtful, how could I ever thank you?” You drag the blanket closer to your chest in false gratitude.

You think for a serious moment if you really want to go through with this. Hearing Jaemin run his mouth on you unwarranted is already painful, but to give him the go-ahead to do so? Especially criticizing your skills in bed?  

You blow out a sigh, noting the slightly visible cloud. You’re grateful Jaemin has thick, downy blankets.  

Well, if you’re going to die, may as well know what went wrong, right?

“Fine, but if we’re playing this game, we have to say everything honestly and take the criticism we get.” You point a stern finger. “No rebuttals, just acceptance.”

“Wait.” Jaemin crinkles his face in genuine confusion as his hand peeks out from his blanket.

“You have things to criticize about me in bed?”

Your lips tremble before you burst into laughter. Displeasure is on Jaemin’s tight-lipped face as you laugh for a while, almost keeling over in your blanket ball onto the hardwood floor. “How conceited are you, oh, my fucking God?”

He slices his hand through the air. “I’ve never had any complaints—”

“Because you’re too busy focusing on your own orgasm, you selfish dickwad,” you say as your laughter dies down.  

He sits in his snit for a few more moments until he gets over it.

“Fine, fine,” he huffs. Jaemin knows he’s not going to enjoy this, but he’s the one who suggested it. He can’t back out now. “Let’s just get this over with, you go first.”

With your blanket held by your chest, you hop off your end of the couch and shuffle over in front of him where he’s seated. Beaming, you begin.

“Let’s start with foreplay.” Jaemin’s eyes light up with confidence, thinking he’s at least decent with that. You crush his expression as your lips purse and you shake your head.

“Non-existent.”

“What do you mean?! I kissed you as you took off your clothes.”

You stick your free hand out from your blanket, extending your index finger.

“One: you only kissed my lips. You know, there are other parts of me to kiss, like, I don’t know, my neck, my arms, my shoulders.”

You extend another finger. “And, two: it’s weird to not help someone take off their clothes. Like you’re in a super rush to get somewhere or something—”

“We’re fucking!” he cuts in sharply. “This is a one-night stand, not a relationship.”

Closing your eyes and dropping your head, you pinch the bridge of your nose. You sigh in exaggeration.

“Thought we agreed no rebuttals...” you softly sing-say.  

Jaemin’s head sinks a little into his blanket. “Sorry.”

Removing your hand, you shrug. “Maybe there’s some rule that I don’t know about one-night stands, so this could be on me.”

You start to aimlessly tread back and forth in front of him, dragging the blanket along too. “But fuck, foreplay is foreplay for a reason. You work your way up to the heat of the moment and it makes sex much better, regardless if you’re in a relationship with the person or not.”

“Next point.” You stop walking and direct your focus on him. Pointing your finger and looking him dead in the eye, you ask, “Do you know what a vagina is?”

He snorts with a simper. “Uhhh, is this a rhetorical question?”

“No, I’m legit asking,” you say with a raised eyebrow and snarky smile. “Because when you went down on me, all you flicked your tongue at was the outside of it, also called the labia if you didn’t know.”

“I’m premed, of course I—”

“Which is great! But you didn’t go any deeper nor did you go near my clit.”

You thrust your finger again. “Do you also know what that is?”

“Yes...” he groans with the flickering eyelids.

You swipe your arm through the air. “Maybe make use of it, and not only when you go down on girls. Even during sex, touching it is great.”

“And lastly,” you continue. “I’ll be honest here, you have a decent dick.”

Jaemin waggles his finger. “So you were lying before—”

“I wasn’t lying,” you retort firmly. “But anyways, you’ve got the stuff, but why don’t you put it to better use?”

With the following words, you attempt to gesture with your body and execute moves as graphic visuals. Jaemin giggles at the sight.

“Vary the speeds and the angle, don’t just slam it in me and go crazy fast from the get-go. Build up to the climax. Jesus, I couldn’t even get close to coming because you’re like a jackhammer from start to finish.”

When you finally finish, Jaemin’s giggles morph into hollow laughs. Frustration is blatant on your face, pondering if he even absorbed a single word you said.  

After he calms down, he asks, “Are you done?”

You mumble, “Yeah, I think so.”

The two of you switch places. He shuffles onto his feet with his blanket while you sit back on the couch.

Jaemin pulls the blanket across the floor as he ambles. “Okay, your head game is decent—”

“Excuse you, my head game is strong.”

“Uh-uh, rebuttal,” he points out.  

You sigh. Pinching your fingers together, you drag the invisible zipper across your mouth, then wave your hand, allowing him to resume.

“Your head game is decent. You definitely can deepthroat, but—” He mirrors you from before and extends his index finger.

“One: this happened only a few times, but your teeth scraped against my dick, which is why I assumed you were a borderline virgin.”

You fume silently at the accusation, attempting to not speak up with a heap of rebuttals. But he wasn’t wrong—if you teethed on his dick, that’s a classic virgin move.

“But that’s okay, because we already established that you’re just rusty.” Jaemin flashes you a fake comforting smile as he continues to pace. You flash him one back.

“And two—” He holds another finger out. “Don’t be scared to use your hands and stroke me. Give my dick some love. If it’s too wet, just wipe your hands on the bed or something.”

“Okay, duly noted,” you hum. “Next.”

“Don’t be scared to touch me.”

“I touched you so much during—”

He shoots you a glare. You roll your mouth inward, your lips disappearing instantly.

“Your hands were mostly on the sheets, which is hot, but guys like to be felt up too.”

The attractive individual peers up for a second, thinking to himself. “Even hotter when a girl feels herself up during the fucking, but that’s beside the point. Baby steps, just remember to touch the other person.”

Jaemin does a full-stop and faces you.

“And just... don’t fake it.” Distress is evident in his pout. You hate to admit it, but it’s a little cute. He raises an arm and jerks it in the air. “Why do girls fake it?”

“Because guys with egos like you can’t handle criticism,” you reply bluntly.  

“What are we doing, having this conversation, hm?”

“We wouldn’t be having this conversation if it didn’t snow in and keep us here together.” You peel a hand away and gesture to the window. “If I walked out of here this morning, you would’ve just fucked the next girl the same.”

He defends himself, “Faking it just feeds our egos.”

“Yeah, well, if I told you afterwards that I didn’t come, what would you do?”

“Try to make you come in other ways?”

Shaking your head, you scoff. “Guys like you aren’t that considerate.”

“You’re right.” He assents, holding his pointer finger against his chest. “Because guys like me aim to please.”

A brilliant thought leaps in his mind and Jaemin gasps. You can only assume bad things from the wicked smile he sends your way.  

“Why don’t we try it again?”

Perplexed, you squint at him.

“Try what again...?”

“Sex,” he says enthusiastically.

You blankly stare at him.

“You’ve gotta be joking,” you deadpan.

“I mean, there’s nothing else to do and it’ll keep us warm.” 

You continue to stare at him until you groan.

“Oh, my God...” Your blanket droops a bit off your shoulders as you drag your palms across your face. “I cannot believe I’m stuck in this snowstorm with you out of all people...”

Sitting next to you, Jaemin persistently reasons with you. “Think of it also as another learning experience for the future partners we’ll have.”

“Yeah, if we don’t die first!” you shriek.

“We’re not going to die,” Jaemin replies in a mocking tone and a dart of his tongue.  

Outside the window, the snow seems to have slowed down, but not by much.  

God, Jaemin better be fucking right because you want to live to see another day.  

“Fine,” you mutter and match his gaze. “But we have to be vocal throughout the whole thing. Say whatever’s on our mind.”

“Fine,” he agrees to your terms. He produces the same wicked smile again. “But can we film it then? So we can study it after?”

You fire him a death glare that melts his face off, even in the frigid atmosphere.

“I’m joking, I’m joking,” he says, waving his hand.

They say that jokes are half-meant true, but you think Jaemin fully meant it. Still in your blanket jackets, Jaemin snags your free hand and leads you to his room.

“You gotta give me credit for trying, though.”

“No.” You shake your head with an unwilling smile creeping on the edge of your lips. On second thought, maybe the joke was a little funny, but you still stand by your opinion that he’s the most annoying person in the world. “I don’t think I will.”

“Thank God Chenle has so many scented candles...”

On the edge of Jaemin’s bed, huddled by the blanket, you watch him light up several large jars, placing them on his nightstand and desk in hopes to brighten the room. It’s already late afternoon, but one could mistaken it for nighttime with the muddy sky due to the snow.

“Is Chenle your roommate?”

“Yeah,” Jaemin answers with a slight shiver, igniting the last candle near the bedside. He removed his blanket when he went to nab the matches and candles. “His girlfriend gets free ones from work, so she always gives him a shit ton, even though he never uses them.”

With a glowing hue against his face, he blows out the match. He makes his way to you, a cocky grin plastered on him, as he says, “Guess we’re making use of them now, though.”

Before you can even respond, Jaemin gets right down to business—sitting beside you on the mattress, he palms your face and drags you in for a kiss. You softly yelp, but immediately reciprocate.

The cover falls off your body as you reach to touch him, fingers drifting over his solid arms.

You don’t want to stroke his large ego, and maybe it’s because you haven’t had anyone else on you in a while, but Jaemin’s kisses are something else.

The cushiony pair of lips always executes enough pressure against your mouth, increasing and decreasing on command in perfect tandem and timing. His hands hover over your waist and the nape of your neck, fingers sinking into your hot skin.  

His mouth trails downward the side of your neck. You crane your head back, indulging in his caresses as soft moans trickle out.

He gently signals for you to recline back and lay onto the mattress, moving the sea of blankets aside. Inclined on his elbow, almost atop of you, his cool fingers glide under your top layers, his thumb stroking against your stomach.

Pulling away from your body, he tugs on the ends of your clothes. You rise from the bed to better the angle for him to discard of them.

The hairs on your skin are standing on end from the frigid air, but you’re too focused on Jaemin’s mouth migrating over your upper arm and your bra-covered chest to care. Without notice, he stuffs a cup of the bra to one side and takes your bosom into his mouth.

Air’s seized from your lungs and your core contracts from the pleasure. Your fingers tug on Jaemin’s luscious locks and his free hand squeezes your unoccupied breast.    

After a few twirls of his tongue and a gentle drawing of his teeth on the pointed tip, he mumbles hotly into your chest while he thumbs your other nipple, “Foreplay still non-existent?”

“It’s better, I guess,” you sigh with fluttering eyes. His chuckling reverberates against your cleavage, a sign of amusement from your obstinacy. A gasp pierces the room as Jaemin repeats his actions onto the other breast.

He aids you in taking off the rest of your clothes and, obviously aware of your goosebumps and shuddering, tells you to get underneath the blankets while he strips himself.

Under the toasty ocean of layers, despite how both of you are bare-boned and how easy it is to jump into the main act, Jaemin purposefully continues to prolong the foreplay. Side by side, your lips meld endlessly; your legs and hands are intertwined in an amorous pretzel.

Jaemin ensures he doesn’t leave any part of you untouched—the pads of fingers virtually graze over every inch of your body. Each grip and drag of his digits sends you in a frenzy. Your chest is pressed into him and your eyes are blinded with desire.

In the back of your mind, you think about how you were right about foreplay working up to the heat of the moment—literally, because you’re dripping, he’s hard, and you two have embraced so much that you don’t need the blankets anymore.  

On the other hand, you wonder if Jaemin was right about skipping foreplay, because with every whisper of each other’s name, the intimacy rises immensely. You don’t know him, and neither him with you, but you’re both freely drowning in one another in a plane beyond the lust.

Although the room’s beginning to smell of a mix of all the scented candles, Jaemin hones in and drinks in your sweet aroma and your entirety behind his hazy eyes and already tousled hair. All of a sudden, one drag of his fingers over a particular sensitive spot on your body makes you giggle.

“I’m ticklish over there.”

“You mean right—” He drums his fingers over the area again. “—here?”

With a toothy grin, he generates more suffering from you and you begin to lively howl. Soon enough, you beg him to stop.

“You’re such an asshat, c’mon, let me live!”

When he ceases, his head hangs over yours and your gazes connect.

The same feeling blooms in his chest from before in the living room.

He gulps as his eyes waver over your face, unknowingly tracing your beautiful features and etching them into his memory.

Your starry eyes. Your glowing aura. Your everything.

You barely register the change in his expression because he quickly tramples on his moment of weakness by kissing you passionately.

Jaemin whips the blankets aside as he lowers himself between your legs. Your eyes are fixated on him, matching his stare, until he starts to devour you by swiping against your lustrous folds. Your back bows, and, following a few more licks, Jaemin makes a point of his knowledge of the vagina by spreading your lips and ravishing your pussy, tongue penetrating deeply.

Rippled moans release in harmony with your undulating chest. You swear you’re getting more wet, too wet, likely making it overwhelming for Jaemin, but he’s eagerly lapping every drop up.  

“How’s that?” he inquires with a grin, hovering over your trembling nether lips. His mouth is evidently glossy, even under the dim lighting.

“Good,” you pant in the most nonchalant tone you can muster up. “Very good-ahhh—”

Jaemin kindly interrupts you by tonguing your clit as he fingers your sex deeply, shattering your fake indifference.

“Move your tongue up more,” you direct, creasing your eyebrows in despair. He follows your direction, and droning moans ensue.

Jaemin’s immersed in your pleasure, but also adding to his own. The more he laps up your wetness, the more he grinds his length against the bed, aching to be inside of you.

Your desire pulses faster, contracting tighter against his fingers, body winding tensely by the second.

“Fuck, Jaemin,” you whine, leaning your head to one side with a parted mouth. “I’m close.”

He draws back and temporarily replaces his tongue with his thumb.

“Good,” he pants, cocking his head to one side. His eyes are filled with determination. “Because I’m not stopping until you come at least two more times tonight.”

You exhale a light laugh. “That’s ambiti-ohgodohgod—”

His tongue works wonders on your clit once more, so much that he has to brace your bucking hips.

Okay, maybe Jaemin did learn a thing or two and actually listened to what you said during your critique.

But now it’s time to demonstrate to him what you’ve learned.

You don’t need much of a break to catch your breath, nor do you want to immediately freeze due to inactivity, so you pull Jaemin in for an intense kiss, tongue dipping into the remnants of your own nectar, then beckon for him to take your former place on the bed.

Perched on the bottom of your feet, you’re on one side of Jaemin, lackadaisically fisting his prominence. After a few strokes, you gradually swallow his inches, keeping in mind to relax your jaw and to not rush in order to avoid any potential teething. You do this to prove yourself worthy of giving head, but also in spite, because you absolutely do not need Jaemin to brand you a virgin again.  

You read his quiet groans and his long fingers running lazily through your hair as a positive sign and advance further.

Carefully, you rest your tongue beneath the underside of his cock and bob your head, licking him until he’s sopping with your saliva. His grip in your hair grows in strength as his length reaches the end of your throat, his groans becoming more and more drawn-out.

A needy whimper leaves him as you suddenly withdraw. Dribbles of your spit follow, and you wipe it off with the back of your hand.  

“How am I doing?” you glow in a pant, lazily stroking the doused shaft.

He simply nods with half-lidded eyes, barely able to look at you. “Yeah.”

You snicker at him in his breathless position, a prickle of pride running through your spine over the fact that you blew his mind as much as you blew his dick.

“Use your words, Jaemin.”

Teasingly, your fingers curl around his blunt head, soothing the sensitive tip and sending jolts throughout him.

“Fuck—” he pulls his bottom lip upward. “Awesome. You’re doing awesome.”

“Anything to critique?”

“Mm-mm,” he shakes his head restlessly. You revel a bit more in having the upper hand on him a little while longer. You grip him tighter and hasten your speed, leaving him gasping for air.

“Am I still rusty?”

“Nope, nope,” he croaks, voice rising to a whine. “Definitely not rusty.”

“You sure?” His cockiness has transferred over to you.

“Yes, yes—fuck, slow down, please,” Jaemin begs.    

Granting his wish, you abate your rhythm and free his inches from your touch.

You wipe your hands on the sides of the bed while Jaemin rummages through the drawer of his nightstand and hastily rolls over the rubber over himself before he prepares to enter the body beneath his.  

Recalling your advice, Jaemin mindfully starts off slow. You sigh blissfully in sync to his thrusts. He adjust himself, attempting another angle, and you draw in air between your teeth.

“There, there—“

Jaemin’s quick-witted and keeps at it, plunging a bit more vigorously. Out of habit, your hands grasp onto the bedsheets, but you wittingly attach them to his frame. Hands grazing his neck, his firm pecs, and his taut muscles.  

“Touch-touch my stomach,” he orders in a hush.

You hands follow through and feel up the flexed valley of his abs. Feeling up evolves into desperate gripping and even the slight dragging of your nails.

“Your abs are so fucking hot,” you state thoughtlessly, eyes eating up the view alongside his cock disappearing in and out of you. “Jesus, fuck.”

“Yeah?” he rasps with that devilish smirk of his. God, you want to smack it off him, but not right now—not when you’re reaching euphoria. “You’re not just saying that?”

Oh, you’ve definitely stroked his ego now, but there’s no turning back. Truth spills from you on a whim.

“You’re a fucking masterpiece,” you gasp acutely.

You’re starting to wither away, yet, as if they have a life of their own, your hands drift away from him and find a new home atop your breasts.

“You make me feel so good, Jaemin...”

Jaemin’s eyes go wide. His mouth hangs at the lewdness of you touching yourself.

“Fuck, holy shit.”

His gaze doesn’t leave your ecstatic face or humming body for a second as you knead your breasts and tweak your nipples between your fingers. Your back arches further when Jaemin deepens his sweet, fulfilling thrusts. He’s holding himself back, not wanting to end this beautiful deed just yet.

The stimulation bursts over your body, both from your own doing and Jaemin’s.  

You plead, “Faster, please, faster.”

And he complies, but he also rubs your bundle of nerves, causing a tight knot in you to build up and your shallow moans transform into heavy screams. You clasp onto his back and claw at the protruding shoulder blades.  

“I’m-I’m—”

You clench, both with your core and your nails digging into him, but Jaemin’s unrelenting, capturing your second peak for the evening.

Instead of coming after you, he shockingly veers lower and closer to you and curbs his pace.

“Was that real?”

You respond with an exhausted nod. Oddly, the smile he shows this time isn’t arrogant, but warm and teetering the line of tenderness. His lips fuse with yours before they stray towards your neck. The passion stews as he sucks your tits, all the while lunging laxly into you.  

With an obscene pop!, Jaemin removes himself from your nubs.

“Ready for the last round?”

His fast thrusts, hitting you precisely in the best spot, cloud your already weakened logic, deterring you from making any response.    

Perspiration is blatant on both individuals. For him, his forehead glistens gorgeously with his damp hair. For you, the back of your bent knees are gluing together. Your bodies are about to pass out, but you both persevere until the end.

As you convulse and perish together in beautiful agony, coincidentally enough, the bulbs in the room and in the streets leap to radiance.

Together, you collapse onto the bed side by side, panting heavily and laughing.

“Told you we weren’t going to die.”

You turn your head to see Jaemin looking at you with a cheeky grin. In retaliation, you stick your tongue out.

By nighttime, it’s finally stopped snowing outside. However, the streets won’t be cleared until morning, at the very least.

But... you’re surprisingly okay with that.

In a turn of events, the sex inexplicably makes the two of you warm up to each other. There still is targeted banter and tension between you, lingering from before, but it’s less hostile and more playful.

During a fancy Christmas Eve dinner of microwavable pizzas, you poke fun at each other’s majors and discuss your respective hobbies in depth, especially his love for photography. Jaemin even asks if he can take a picture of you, claiming that the kitchen lighting actually looks nice on someone for once.  

“Is that how you collect the memory of your one-night stands? Instead of hanging their skins in your closet, you sweet-talk your way and keep all the photos of them?” you joke, referring to the video call from yesterday night. It feels like an eternity ago, but snowstorms tend to do that.

He chuckles behind the camera as he snaps a photo of you scrunching your face cutely.

“Yeah, but you’re the first one who has clothes on,” he says, glancing down at the photo on the camera roll.  

“Ugh, gross,” you cringe and take a sip of tea.

Jaemin doesn’t add anything further. He leaves out the fact that he never keeps any traces of his one-night stands, that you’re the first girl he’s taken a picture of in a while.  

After a few hours of more talking and even some gaming with one another, sleep is much needed. Jaemin offers an extra toothbrush and a sweater and pair of sweats to sleep in. You’re facing each other on his bed, noses almost touching.  

“It’s been a while since I haven’t had sex with a girl before I slept next to them,” he whispers, adjusting himself comfortably. The side of his face rests on his piled hands. “It’s kinda nice.”

You cover your mouth as you yawn, then lay your hand back under your head, reflecting the same position as Jaemin.

“You know, it might be my sleepiness talking, but maybe you’re not the worst person in the world to be stuck with during a snowstorm.”

A lovely chuckle echoes in your ear. “I’m glad you’ve had a change of heart.”

After a few moments, your eyes are fluttering to a close until he softly calls out your name.

“Hm?” you stir awake, but not by much.

“Do you...?”

Jaemin doesn’t know what’s gotten to him, doesn’t quite understand why the defences he built for so long are crumbling down in only a day of knowing you.  

And yet, something urges him to give it a chance.

Blowing out a shaky sigh, he anxiously intertwines his fingers with yours. You hum softly at the action and a small smile blooms on your face.

“Do you want to go on a date with me sometime?”

“Hm?” His question doesn’t take you aback as much as you would be if you were fully awake. But even in your drowsy state, you have quips in hand. “Jaemin, the notorious fuckboy and serial one-night stander, wants to go on a date?”

“Yeah,” he replies gently, brushing your loose hair out of your face.

Another yawn. “I thought you said you don’t want feelings and relationships and all that shit.”

His fingers trace your pretty jawline and shrugs. “One date doesn’t mean we’re going to be in a relationship, I’m sure you know that.”

You pause for a good two seconds, but the two seconds feel like forever for Jaemin.

“Mmm, fine. One date, just one.” You barely hold up your pointer finger. “And only because it’s Christmas tomorrow. ‘Tis the season to be giving...”

Relief washes over Jaemin in the form of a smile. Embracing the blatant feeling in his chest this time, he plants a light kiss on your nose and wishes you sweet dreams, even though you’ve already fallen soundly asleep.  

Sunlight pours over your eyes on Christmas morning.

Déjà vu peculiarly creeps up on you, but the only thing that’s the same as yesterday is waking up in Jaemin’s bed.

He’s next to you this time, deep in his peaceful slumber, instead of waiting for you to leave by his doorframe. The snow has finally stopped, and you think you hear the faint noises of snow plows outside. You inhale deeply and also notice the faded aroma from all the scented candles from last night.

The scenes of yesterday flicker across your mind. The incredible sex. The talking. The dinner. The interlocking of his fingers with yours.

The date he asked you out on.

You stare at him, watching him sleep with a sense of content.

Turning your body, you routinely check your phone, which is charging beside his. You have a slew of Merry Christmas texts from several chats and a few private messages from your friends.

Your attention falls on Jaemin’s phone when it lights up with a notification, likely texts from his friends and family too.

But that’s not what you’re focusing on.

Your heart sinks at the sight of his lockscreen.

It’s a picture of him and a girl kissing.

A twinge emerges in your chest and twists harder and harder.

Jaemin being a fuckboy, you can respect. People can do whatever they want with their lives.

But to cheat?

That’s unforgivable, and a true sin if there ever was one.

You scramble to dash out of there, careful not to make any noises in fear of waking Jaemin up. However, Jaemin’s sensitive to the sounds of the front door, so he rouses awake. His eyes flit open, noticing how you’re gone. He then sees his phone blowing up and adds two and two together.

With his phone in hand, Jaemin rushes to get on a coat and stuffs his feet into his boots, not giving a shit that he’s wearing his thin pajamas in the coldness. He’s bounding down the flight of stairs and onto the bright, white wonderland of the streets.

He swivels his head and catches sight of you almost past down the block, slowly trekking through the thick snow. Jaemin sprints, as much as he can, and hops towards you.  

He yells your name, making others on the street turn, but you don’t. You continue forward without looking back.

“Wait! I can explain!”

You’re trying to gain speed, but cardio isn’t your friend. Thankfully for Jaemin, it’s a close friend for him.

“I don’t wanna fucking hear it, Jaemin,” you grunt, hearing the rapid crunching of his shoes coming closer. “Get lost.”

“No, listen to me for a second.”

The boyish man grasps you by the arm and turns you around. You throw his arm away from you and he holds his hands in the air, letting you know that he respects your space. He drops his hands and sees that you’re seething, even worse than you were when he kicked you out yesterday.

“How are you going to explain your lockscreen with you kissing your fucking girlfriend?! Hm?”

“Ex,” he pants in clarification. “Ex-girlfriend.”

Your eyebrows mesh together in utter confusion.

“Okay? That doesn’t make me feel any better, knowing that you’re still hung up on your ex.”

Jaemin shakes his head and rakes a hand through his hair. You note the large clouds he exhales and how he’s barely wearing any clothes. A tinge of sympathy passes through you, wanting to give him some of your clothes for extra layers, but you smother that quickly in your state of rage.  

“I’m not hung up on her. Remember you asked me yesterday why I don’t want girls to stay the next morning?”

You cock your head impatiently, as if saying, “Yeah.”

“Well, I don’t want to attach myself to girls. I can’t. I...”

He lowers his head to one side. Shutting his eyes, a long puff emits from his mouth.

“She cheated on me.”

The snow plows in the distance can’t compare to the pumping of your heart in your ears. All the feelings you felt in the last day, but especially in the last fifteen minutes, jumble together in your head, making you feel uneasy and unsure of what to exactly feel or comprehend of the situation.  

But you do know one thing, despite the fact that you two barely know each other, the pained look on his face is real—that this is the untold story behind his ways.  

Jaemin lifts his head and holds out his phone for emphasis. “The lockscreen serves as a constant reminder that dating and feelings will and can fuck me up.”

Carefully, he steps a little closer to you and slowly cups your face in his shaking hands. You don’t pull away nor is there the same anger from moments before, so he daintily runs his thumbs over your cheeks.

“Until you showed me yesterday that maybe I’m willing to give it all another shot. Risk it all for fuck knows what, but you make it look like it’s worth it.”

He continues his ramble after adjusting some of your hair from the ongoing breeze.

“Sure, it’s Christmas today, but I don’t want you to say yes to going on a date with me just because it is. I want you to say yes because maybe you like spending time with me just as much as I like to spend it with you.”

You’re completely disoriented—your eyes are shifting everywhere but his eyes and your lips are quivering with no words coming out. He sighs understandingly. 

“Look, I know you’re probably having second thoughts and you don’t have to give me an answer right now. Think on it for as much time as you need, but I want you to know that I genuinely like you and I want to go on an actual date with you.”

He peels his hand away from your face and raises it into the air as if taking an oath.

“I, Na Jaemin, the notorious fuckboy and serial one-night stander, will devote to monogamy once again if it means I can date you.”

His hands grab yours, kisses the back of them, and then he presses one kiss onto your icy cheek prior to walking away.

“Merry Christmas,” he says with a sad smile. “You know where to find me if you change your mind.”

Later that evening at your large family’s Christmas party, you take another dreadful gulp of your wine.

It’s the happy holiday season, but why does everyone feel the need to stick their nose in your dating life? Well, really, a lack there of.

“Why are you still single?” Layers of their voices resound the same question in your head. You take another swig.

Potential unsaid answers that you kept to yourself fly around as you swish the drink in your glass.  

Because you choose to be.

Okay, not really, but it’s the easiest answer.  

Because you haven’t found the right guy to get you back in the game.

What does that even mean? What makes the right guy even right?

The right guy? It’s someone who makes you laugh, someone who gives as good as they can take it, someone who wants you just as much as you do.

The cogs move in your head as you take one more sip before you finally come to the conclusion—  

Because you didn’t find the right guy until last night.

Despite the mess of today and yesterday morning, you realize that Jaemin is... actually sort of sweet. Annoying, yes, but he keeps you on your toes. It’s a plus that he’s easy on the eyes, but it’s a bigger plus that he’s even easier to talk to.

And if he can find it in his scorched heart to trust you, you can find it in your heart to trust him too.  

You quickly say your good-byes to your family and let them know you have other plans with friends tonight.

As the Uber rolls up to his apartment building, you realize you probably should’ve messaged him on Tinder, but it’s worth a shot to see if he’s home. Anyways, impulsiveness is a controlling entity, as evident from your Christmas Eve Eve’s adventure.

And in retrospect, perhaps Jaemin was the perfect pick of the crop after all.  

Someone’s entering the building and lets you in behind them. You take the stairs two at a time and hear booming music coming from his floor. At first, you assume it’s from other apartments, but it’s all coming from one—his.

Without a thought, your knuckle taps the door.  

A handsome figure that’s definitely not Jaemin opens the door. Behind him, you see a group of young men scattered around the living room, and some have a few girls tucked under their arms.

The man eyes you up and down with a spark in his eye. He’s not Jaemin, but he surely reminds you of him.

“And who might you be?” he asks.

“Who’s at the door, Jeno?” An unknown male voice hollers in a high pitch from the couch. He’s one of the guys with a girl attached to him.

You blink. “Uhm, I’m—”

“She’s with me!” Jaemin shoves the flirty stranger aside and tugs you by your wrist, making headway to his bedroom. He flips the light switch on and the door clicks shut.

“What are you doing h—”

You cut him off with a kiss.

An innocent one, at first, with hints of alcohol on each other’s lips. Your arms wrap around the other and the passion increases with the mingling of your tongues, each party tasting and confirming the specific drinks you both consumed tonight.  

Jaemin forces himself to pull away and presses his forehead against yours. “Did you just come all the way here to kiss me, or...?”

“Maybe I came over to ask... if I can stay with you for another night?” you playfully ask, fingers intertwining behind the nape of his neck.  

He chuckles heartily. His fingers sink into the sides of your waist. “Is my dick that great? The sex with me that amazing?”

“Mmm, that’s definitely a benefit,” you agree, fluttering your nose against his. “But I want more than that—“ You poke a finger to his chest. “—I want the man behind the dick.”

Your gazes converge, bringing you together as one.

“I want to go on that date with you. I want you, Jaemin.”

He flashes a megawatt smile that could compete with a million Christmas lights, but it fades suddenly and you’re unsure why he seems like he’s about to bawl his eyes out.

“That’s so beautiful, I might cry.” He brings a finger to his eye, pretending to shed a tear.

Oh, yeah—you’re definitely going to need to hire someone to constantly shove your eyeballs back into your sockets if you’re going to date Jaemin.

“Oh, shut up,” you whisper, yanking him in for another kiss.

Three dates later, including a memorable New Year’s Eve, you finally decide to rid of the Tinder app for good.

With his arm around you on his living room couch, Jaemin glances over your shoulder.

“Really? You’re finally deleting your Tinder?”

You snort in disbelief. “That’s gold, coming from the King of Tinder himself. When did you delete?”

He turns to face the television and shrugs coolly.

“Maybe I didn’t.”

“Wouldn’t put it past you,” you nod, eyes still on your phone.

“Nah, I’m kidding, I did.”    

You sharply turn your head.

“No way. When?” you press with narrow eyes.  

A shy smile emerges on Jaemin’s face as he picks his pants over his thighs.

“On the night of Christmas Eve, after you agreed to go on a date with me.”