#smosh fake texts

[viasdreams]

˙✧˖°🍊 ༘ ⋆｡˚‧

doing a relationship test on jisung !!

a/n: shout out smosh reddit stories for this idea (I LOVE YOU SMOSH!!)

fake text m.list ☁︎⋅

[spenceragnewfics]

spencer shower sex!?

I hope you all enjoy! Love ya💕

SPLISH SPLASH | Spencer Agnew x F!Reader | 18 MINORS DNI!!

TW: Oral (f receiving), penetration, usual smut stuff.

Word Count: 1.9k

Description: After a very long and stressful shooting week, Y/N needs a little stress relief and luckily her boyfriend, Spencer, knows just how to help.

Working at Smosh is one of the best things someone could do. The people, work, and fans are all amazing but it’s also very stressful.

The company is huge! So it’s obvious that it would come with stress but some people don’t seem to understand that. They think it’s all just fun times and chillness because you work at a content creation company.

As the main PA for the gaming channel, Y/N is a very busy person. She’s always running around getting things for shoots, lunch orders, helping the cast and crew when they run into things, and many other things.

This is a role she has had for a few years and loves it. She loves being able to meet new people, be creative, and hang out with an amazing crew. Plus, she gets to spend everyday with the love of her life, and boss, Spencer.

The two got together before he became the director of the channel but got to work even more together when he was promoted two years ago. So if anyone knows how draining the job of PA can be, it’s Spencer.

Who is currently watching his girlfriend help Chanse and Angela figure out the rules of the latest new game for Board AF. “So, you just have to be quick and clear…right?” Angela asks, confusion in her eyes. 

“Basically, it’s a lot easier to understand as you play. Which, I’m so sorry you two weren’t at the practice game but you know how last minute cast changes work.” She says, smiling softly at the two.

Usually, when there is a new game to be played on the gaming channel the cast, who are going to be playing the game, sit with her, Spencer, and Alex T to learn the game. Well it was originally supposed to be Shayne, Courtney, Tommy, and Arasha but Tommy and Arasha had different things come up so Chanse and Angela were pulled in.

“I think my problem is, the overall concept is a little weird.” Chanse explains, unintentionally making Y/N die on the inside. She’s been explaining the game for 20 minutes but they still can’t seem to understand.

Noticing her distress, Spencer walks over, putting a hand on her waist. “Hey, honey, how about you go take a little walk and get a snack. I’ll try and see if I can crack them.” He suggests, squeezing her waist in a comforting manner as she looks at him sad.

“Are you sure, because I can keep-”

“I’m sure, now go before I make you.” He kisses her cheek, sending her off the set as Chanse and Angela shout apologies.

Pushing open the set doors, Y/N takes a deep breath as she starts her walk to her desk. She smiles at people she passes by on her short walk until she gets to the gaming pod. Her desk is across from Spencer’s, and under it is a little mini fridge. She opens it grabbing the leftover iced coffee she put in there from the morning and some random snack she had.

She sighs as she sits at her desk, laying her head on it. She doesn’t understand what is making her so stressed lately but she's starting to get annoyed with it. Her phone buzzes as she lifts her head up, reading the text from her boyfriend. She’s needed back on set so they can film.

Walking back to the set, she sighs when she gets to the doors then puts on her best fake smile. “Who’s excited to shoot?” She asks, walking in and grabbing her stuff. The cast cheers as she walks over to stand beside Spencer, he puts an arm around her waist and kisses her temple. “Are you okay?” He whispers, “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” He can tell the smile is fake but decides to ignore it for now.

The shoot goes well and without a hitch except for the usual silliness that happens in a gaming video, but that’s what makes the shoots so fun.

Once the shoot is finished, Y/N helps get things cleaned up when Angela walks over, “Hey, Y/N.” Looking over her shoulder, she smiles at the woman, “What’s up, Ang?”

“I just want to apologize for earlier.” Angela says, her face sullen. “What? What are you apologizing for? Don’t worry about it, sweets.” She assures the girl in front of her. Placing a hand on her shoulder, “It’s just been a very long shoot week, and things have been crazy lately. It’s not your fault or Chanse’s, be sure to tell him that because I can see his sad puppy dog eyes from here.” The two laugh and Angela gives her a hug before walking away.

Not too long after, Spencer walks over as Y/N sits on the new couch, her eyes closed as she tries to enjoy some quiet time. He sits next to her and she lays her head on his lap. “What’s wrong, my little kickstart?” Y/N giggles at the nicknames before opening her eyes and looking at his blue ones. “It’s just been a very long week and I’m super tired.” She looks at him with a pouty expression that brings a loving smile to his face.

“How about we head out early? The only thing we have left today is to do some editing but we can do that at home.” He leans closer to her face, “After we have some fun of course.” He whispers, a cunning smirk on his face that perks Y/N up a bit.

“Oh really? You think we can work that into the schedule?” She jokes and he rolls his eyes, “Come on, let’s go home.” Y/N slides off the couch and follows Spencer, holding his hand as the two get ready to leave.

Once the two get to their shared apartment, Spencer pulls Y/N in for a kiss as the door closes. The kiss is gentle and sweet, something that makes her heart feel warm. He pulls back after a moment, “Go get in the shower, take some time to yourself.”

“Aw, you don’t wanna join me?” She asks, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Do you want me to join you?” He asks, wrapping his arms around her waist. “I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want you to.” She teases before giving him a quick peck and walking to the bathroom.

Spencer waits until the shower turns on to follow her in, he takes his clothes off as he walks so that way he can go straight in. The bathroom is starting to get steamy when he walks in and the curtain is closed, hiding his girlfriend from his sight.

He moves the curtain to the side, his eyes are met with the beautiful sight of his girlfriend’s naked body. Stepping in the shower, he closes the curtain and wraps his arms around Y/N’s waist, giving her shoulder a gentle kiss.

“Took you long enough.” Y/N says, turning around so that her front is against his. “I thought you could wait just a bit longer.” He teases before leaning in to kiss her. His lips move gently against her as his hands roam her body, they move smoothly against her wet skin as she tangles her hands in his hair.

Moving a hand down, he slips it between her thighs and rubs her clit gently. Pulling back slightly, breaking the kiss, she moans at the feeling, a little of tension finally being released.

“Don’t tease me, you know I need this.” She practically whines as his hand continues to rub. “Just calm down, babe, you deserve this.” He says before gently pushing her against the shower wall and getting on his knees. “Legs on my shoulders, my little kickstart.” Y/N giggles as she does what he says. Her sounds quickly change to soft sighs as he kisses her inner thighs.

“Spence, what are you-” Her voice stops as he starts to suck on her inner thigh, using the same motion as he does when he’s leaving a hickey on her neck. “Need to make sure whenever you wear shorts people know you’re mine.” He says when he gets done with the hickey on her thigh.

Not wasting a second, his head moves to her core and a long strip up her slit brings out a long moan. Her hand finds placement in his hair as he works magic on her. The two have been together so long they know how the other ticks, what makes them feel best and how to get them to feel fuzzy.

His lips find place on her clit which makes her eyes roll back. He groans when her hand grips his hair, sending vibrations onto her clit, making her moan his name. 

“Spence, please, I need you, now!” She whines, pulling his head away from her. His beard is glistening along with his lip and his eyes are looking at her innocently. “Please.” She begs and it’s enough for him to give in.

Carefully putting her legs back on the ground, Spencer gets up and spins her around. Spitting on his hand, he gives his dick a few strokes before sliding inside Y/N. His hips start slow as he grabs her hair and pulls her against him, “Fuck, baby.” She moans, the feeling of him going in and out hitting just the spot she’s needed for days.

“You like that? Finally being able to feel what you’ve wanted for days?” He whispers in her ear, his thrusts slowly becoming faster. “Yes, yes, yes. Spencer! Yes!” She moans, laying her head against his shoulder, giving him perfect access to kiss her neck.

“Don’t hold back, please.” She begs, needing more as she feels the stress slowly melt away. “Anything for you.” He says before speeding up his thrusts, the sound of wet skin hitting skin resonates in the bathroom along with their moans and groans of pleasure. 

Sneaking a hand down, he rubs her clit with the same pace of his thrusts. The feeling of being full and the pressure on her clit starts to make Y/N’s brain feel fuzzy. A feeling that Spencer has been the only to make her feel. She feels him smirking as her legs start to shake from the feeling.

He moans as she tightens around him, making him see stars for a second. “Fuck, I love when you do that.” he groans into her neck as he continues his thrusts. 

It doesn’t take much longer for the both of them to get close. His thrusts start to get sloppy as she starts tightening around him more and more. His hand speeds up on her clit as he nibbles on the sensitive part of her neck, “Spencer! I’m coming!” She screams as the knot in her stomach pops.

“Just like that baby, just let go.” He coos in her ear, holding her against him as her legs shake even more from the feeling. “I’m gonna come too.” He moans as he pulls out. Stroking his dick fast, he has it position on her ass as he moans out her name, releasing on the plump area.

A few moments pass as the couple comes down from their highs. Shaky breaths, water falling on them, and the two holding onto each other. Y/N turns to look at Spencer with a sheepish smile, “You know, for only one ball you do cum a lot.” She jokes with a small laugh. “Eh, you gotta compensate where you can, dude.” He says while chuckling before kissing her sweetly.

Resting their foreheads on each other, they take a moment to just enjoy being together. “How about we clean up and then go cuddle and watch a movie?” She asks, rubbing his arms. “That sounds perfect.” He agrees before kissing her forehead. Both of them feeling much more relaxed than before.

[cuecrynsleep]

Ranking Amangela moments based on how much I freaked out over them.

Disclaimer: This is a joke and is made for fun. This tier list isn't meant to say anything on Amanda and Angela's dynamic, nor their character, or who they are as people. It's just a tier list based on what I think of them as a pairing for certain moments. Please do not take this seriously. Amanda and Angela are real people at the end of the day.

Written Out Text Version if Photos Unclear

Tier 1: "SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE I'M NOT OKAY"

-Seals in another life

-Angela making Amanda a ring + "I finally get married to the person I belong with"

-Amangela playing a married couple 3 times

-Livestream affections

Tier 2: WHAT THE FUCK AMANDA/ANGELA

-Fake kiss #1/#2: Love is Blind Edition

-"I just fell in love with you" - Angela after Amanda's TNTL bit

-"What if we kissed/made out and went missing" x4

-"Quick before we go live kiss me" | "Okay"

-"Security guard I'd like to fuck" - Angela

Tier 3: OH! Oh. I don't know man that's kinda fruity

-"Put us on top of each other" / "Dude both pants are off." - Board AF Legacy

-(Amanda talking about not talking about something bothering her for a whole shoot week) "Then again sometimes I just see Angela and I'm like 'hey' and I don't know what happens..."

-Competitive Amangela - Challenge Pit

-"We'll probably find our way back to each other" - Love is Blind 2

-New York x Toilet Girl Saga

-Tinky Winky and Detective Wheresmycoffee

-Physical affection Tapple video edition

-Reddit stories physical affection

Tier 4: They're so cute I might survive this.

-"She's a thankful person... I love that about her." - Angela

-"She knows me so well that she knows when I'm lying." - Amanda

-"You're killing it" - Amanda to Angela during her first Smosh video

-Amangela team duo during Incohearent games video

-"Angela tried to like watch the reunion with me." - Amanda

Tier 5: "Wait guys we swear it's just a bit."

-"But can you kiss me before you leave?" / "All I wanna do is go into hell and kiss your face." - Angela Board AF Legacy

-French Soldier x FBI Agent TNTL bit

-Physical affection blood clocktower games video edition

-Tinky Winky choking Detective Wheresmycoffee

Tier 6: This is just them at their normal.

-"Are you okay?" / "You have to trust yourself." - Angela

-"A soulmate can be a friend." - Agree to Disagree video

-"Aww Ange" - Amanda comforting Angela during Reddit Stories

[smoshpunisher]

twin fantasy x ianthony lyric breakdowns

hello! so smosh came back and i cant help but do a lyric breakdowns of my favorite album that reminds me of them. twin fantasy (album link at the end of the post)

My Boy - Twin Fantasy

My boy, we don't see each other much My boy, we don't see each other much It'll take some time But somewhere down the line We won't be alone

this literally shows ian missing anthony after the smosh breakup, but still holding on of that idea of them back together. hence the "but somewhere down the line we wont be alone" he's still CLINGING on that hope for smosh, for his childhood best friend to come back.

the jokes about "where's anthony" from smosh cast, still somewhat depressed that his literal life partner went away and resented ian for it. for staying so positive after his creation of smosh was ripped away from anthony.

sad that anthony completely cut contact from him when he POSSIBLY needed him the most.

Sober to Death

You know that good lives make bad stories You can text me When punching mattresses gets old Don't think it'll always be this way Not comforted by anything I say We were wrecks before we crashed into each other

this specific song is so THEM coded. this is the two years leading up to the breakup and anthony's hatred to defy. ian trying to stay positive, wanting anthony to stay. but anthony had enough with the company and tried convincing ian to leave with him. with "not comforted by anything i say" showing how ian is so stubborn and wont leave smosh with him. with now the friendship they built for YEARS, breaking down because of their work.

with "you know good lives make bad stories" could show how fake their friendship was. that what they had with each other was, or was NEVER real. it was all a brand identity to keep the company happy. they probably didn't consider themselves best friends. never making time for each other outside of SMOSH.

ian and anthony being complete WRECKS because of defy. and now their needs are crashing into each other, and anthony couldn't take it anymore and left.

I wanna hear you going psycho If you're going psycho, I wanna hear

anthony for ONCE just wants ian to open up to him. anthony just wanted to see some vulnerability from ian, but ian is the one clinging to the idea of smosh. and anthony realizing this whole duo was ran with delusions of what they originally had. that he couldn't bare the evolution of smosh, and defy's controlling behavior. he had to LEAVE.

Take your hands off your neck and Hold on to the ghost of my body You know that good lives make bad stories

they're still parading the idea of smosh, and what they had with each other. holding onto the library of content they created, and that to each other it's still possible to create the same magic with each other.

especially "hold onto the ghost body" holding on the old idea or old friendship.

What if it'll always be this way Not comforted by anything you say

the part where the friendship starts to crumble. ian possibly horrified of the idea of running a company alone. created SO MUCH emotional baggage. wanting to fix the friendship after anthony left.

Don't worry, you and me won't be alone no moreDon't worry, you and me won't be alone no more

(this part is better if you listen to this portion of this song)

can we talk about will toledo's song writing? the harsh electric guitar to calm acoustics? showing the LITERAL delusions of forming a good relationship to hold onto?

after anthony left, wanting to let ian know he won't be alone and he will be fine, and ian wanting the same feeling reciprocated to anthony. that they won't be alone, and that their journey's apart will be filled with the people they care about. anthony has his loyal fans and ian has the smosh crew to back him up.

High to Death

And I said hell is the sun Burning forever at the center of things A ball on fire at the center of things

anthony making that HATE letter to ian months after the departure. anthony being all like "ian never had the best interest and only cared about work" and sad that ian never cared about the friendship. (newsflash ian literally cared more than anything)

ian being the sun, he's burning the little left of the friendship. trying to reach out, or saying anthony is always welcomed back. hence "burning forever at the center of things" as he always beaming for anthony to come back. to restore things to the ways before defy completely ruined the friendship.

Used to be so human, now it's just a machine I can't turn this thing off, it keeps following me

anthony during his time with defy felt so dehumanized, knew that the company didn't have it's best intentions. that smosh's past always creeps up when he wants to be his own independent creator. leaving his friend to run a channel all by himself. while ian is running around finding smosh's voice without anthony.

Famous Prophets (Stars)

Apologies to future mes and yous But I can't help feeling like we're through The ripping of the tape hurts my ears In my years, I have never seen anyone quit quite like you do

ian accepting the fact that his friendship and the duo of smosh is over. he officially lost his best friend as he broke contact with him. ian completely LOST it, going to therapy to help cope with everything he lost. his ride home after high school, his creative partner for 11 years, and of COURSE his best friend. (people in smoshcast literally begged him to go since he looked so defeated)

also "in my years, i have never seen anyone quit quite like you do" ian taken back that anthony just went up and left. left to start something new, and he did it in such a breeze.

Did I fail? Did I fall? (In the morning when I wake up, are you mine?) Did I waste my time, waste my time on a broken heart? (Take the trash out like a bad dream, are you gone?) Or is this the start of the great silence?

questioning if this was all his fault, maybe that he wasn't mature enough to understand where anthony is coming from. that maybe him being so emotionally unavailable broke their friendship in half. wondering if anthony will ever come back to smosh, or it's really over.

wondering all that time with anthony was really worth it, but said it himself all the shitty things that defy made them do he wouldn't take it back.

also at the end of the song, there's a poem. just let the poem do the talking.

Love never fails But where there are prophecies, they will cease Where there are tongues, they will be stilled Where there is knowledge, it will pass away For we know in part and we prophesy in part But when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I abandoned my childhood I put these ways behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; Then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known And now these two remain

ian leaving behind his smosh past to rebrand the channel, that maybe his friendship with anthony meant for all of this to happen. ian finally accepted it, he can't keep crumbling over their friendship and has to move on. anthony wanting to be more without smosh, creating his own series which is very successful, but both still accepting the friendship as its once was. that their chapter together was closing, and the both boys will be okay without each other.

they got the closure they needed, they got what they needed to learn from each other. and smosh was just a chapter in their life that was long overdone.

well until.

Twin Fantasy (Those Boys)

I haven't looked at the sun for so long I'd forgotten how much it hurt to

ANTHONY CAME BACK TO THE CHANNEL, AND FORGOT HOW POWERFUL HIS FRIENDSHIP WITH IAN WAS. IT WAS SO POWERFUL IT HURTS HIM. when he came back to smosh, he knew it was meant for ian and anthony to be together. it wasn't nostalgia that kept wanting to come back, it was the fact him and his best friend created skits with each other and it made him laugh. made him SO happy, and wanted to be back with ian.

They just want to be one Walk off into the sun They're not kissing They're not fucking They're just having fun

the two boys don't need to be kissing or fucking to show their love for each other. their chemistry is so strong, their friendship can NEVER break. they're just being one. no need of defy or identity of their own. they are just ONE, they're SMOSH. like how it should always been.

They were connected At the back of the head They had a conduit Their minds were the same

they're always connect, as ian let him go, anthony came back and proved they're meant for each other.

[baflegacy]

fake fic titles

lost in translation - shaymanda

why did i think of something sad. kinda angsty fic where shayne is in one side of the earth and amanda’s in another. both of them have left smosh for a bit now and are chasing different careers/living different lives. one day amanda decides to contact a few of her old friends and shayne was one of the first ones to reply immediately. basically a fic where their main form of communication is through text or call bc they’re constantly busy but still want to reconnect. there’s an underlying sense of “what if i/i shouldve/maybe if things were different” throughout the fic to make it hurt more :D

send me a ship + a fake fic title!

[iridescentkiwi]

the replies to this post make me feel so privileged for having a supportive environment. i really don't know nor want to say i have a good idea of what anyone is going through, but i do want to use this as an opportunity to give some tips you've probably heard before and/or things that i really find useful:

1. listen to music. i really like this one because i am always listening to music, and focusing on the lyrics to either analyse or create fake scenarios around them is a great distraction. it's also great if you feel overwhelmed by noise because it blocks out a lot. if it's more anxious that you're feeling, i recommend, more specifically, catchy songs (in my case, chappell roan's hot to go!, interpol's all the rage back home, agalloch's in the shadow of our pale companion, childish gambino's redbone, tove lo's jealousy).

2. pace around. when i feel overwhelmed, i like to just flap my hands around a little every once in a while as i just pace around a space. it's cool if you also listen to music during it, but it's not necessary.

3. draw on yourself. it could also be to draw on paper or something, but i just always find myself wanting to do something else, so i just love to draw, especially on my pants and forearms. or write song lyrics on them.

4. if you have one with you at the moment, try playing your music instrument! an exercise you're struggling with, a song you want to learn, or just playing whatever notes you like.

5. write the worst song lyrics or poem verses you can think of. they don't have to be good, but they can show what you feel or something. i like it because i just can reflect on that feeling and refine the text. but this works usually before or after the "climax" of the bad feeling.

6. i like thinking about knives. i really want one of those pocket knives because they also have corkscrews and stuff. they are very useful. that's an item i think of. or scissors, but this in general can be a slippery slope, so what i am recommending here is to think of something you are slightly interested in, like a plant that's in front of you or something that isn't exactly super weird but that has a lot of cool things surrounding it (like knives).

7. more specific to if you feel anxious: watch the smosh chocolate challenge, their teletubbies reunion, or an it's always sunny in philadelhia compilation. dropout's (formerly college humor) ceo skits with brennan lee mulligan are really good too.

everytime i hear someone call depression and anxiety ‘destigmatized mental illnesses’ i wonder how they react when they find out someone has spent weeks or months in bed or struggles to shower or eat

[tkandthemoon]

Yoongi: I'm a great multitasker. Currently I'm both looking and feeling like shit.

[smoshimagine]

(Part 1) Smosh Squad + ianthony 

*(Part 2) Smosh Games* 

 Credit to the card owners.

-requests are open- 

[passionate-hedgehog]

Sequins and Handcuffs

Pairing: Damien Haas x Reader (fem)

Warnings:Languages and mildly suggestive content (a joke between friends, nothing happens lol. Ya girl is ace and writing that freaks me out. Ick.)

Word Count: 1117

A/N: I’m so glad I started this prompt fic series. It’s my way of journaling and it’s more therapeutic than I thought. I’ve spent the last year trying to bury emotions but I’m working on finding them again so my writing gets better. In the meantime, enjoy my robotic nature. ALSO----> If you have fic req’s that you want, send them to MEEEEEE!!!! I’ll write for more than SMOSH. I’m just doing SMOSH only because I feel like these are making a miniseries at this point lol ♥

Summary: Reader is preparing for a visit from her two best friend’s from back home and is ridiculously excited. Damien is interested, too, but for a whole different reason.

The table that Y/n was sitting at in the costume corner was shaking in rhythm to her leg. The container of purple sequins that Rochelle had collected to add to Sarah’s dress nearly crashed to the floor before the designer caught them. The woman put them back in their spot before tapping Y/n’s leg twice.

“If you don’t stop, you’re going to jostle the whole building down. You better get it together before your excitement ruins your stomach for the day. You know how you get.” Rochelle went back to sticking pins into the mannequin. 

Y/n tapped the tips of her fingers along the wood in place of bouncing her legs. The costume designer would have sworn that the other woman could have dented the table by the sheer force of her movements. 

“For the love of- Go run a lap or something. Better yet!” Rochelle grabbed a toolbox from the shelf holding bundled fabric and an assortment of scissors. “Go run this to Sarah for me? She wanted to borrow some things for a project. Maybe if you crabwalk, you’ll run out all of that energy.”

“Yes, Mom.” Y/n mumbled, dodging a ball of twine that had been thrown at her head.

----------

The producer was found standing behind a camera during a Try Not To Laugh Shoot. Y/n stood quietly in the corner and watched the antics of the cast. She found it particularly difficult to stay quiet when Jackie rolled around on the floor whining in a blue dress but absolutely lost it when Noah found himself stuck to Jackie’s stool. When Damien came out from behind the screen, she rolled her eyes and smirked. Of course the man would know how to get someone out of locked handcuffs.

After the shoot wrapped, Y/n approached the producer to finish the task she was given. “Hey, Sarah. Rochelle said to give you this toolbox?”

“Oh. yes! Score! I have some pillowcases I want to repurpose but I’m missing some things. I still gotta get Claudio’s head measurement...Tell her thank you when you go back. I’m SO EXCITED.” The producere shimmied with the box held up next to her face. “Tonight is gonna rock! Speaking of…”

“Nope. That’s my cue. Gotta jet!” Y/n turned tail and ducked out of the studio as quick as she could. When she made it back to the costume corner she found the door was locked. A sign that read “Y/n, you’re banished until after my Zoom luncheon. Run more laps. Chase a squirrel. Do SOMETHING that’s not destructive. Thanks, bby.” was taped on the locked door.

“Well, that’s harsh.” A man’s voice rang, right next to her left ear.

“God freaking dammit, Damien Christian Haas. I swear to-”

“You just did.”

Y/n  took the hand she had frantically placed over her heart and used it to swat at the man’s baseball cap. “I’m so close to fighting you. I don’t think you understand.”

“Yikes. So, what did you do to get banished from ‘Ye Ol Cloth Abundance’?”

“Ye Ol...the fuck…” The woman shook the words from her head. “I...might have been a disturbance...possibly destructive…”

Damien fake gasped. “You? A disturbance? AND destructive?”

“I said ‘possibly’, Dames. Possibly.”  

He smiled a toothy smile. “Yeah, that’s going to be an issue.”

Y/n cocked an eyebrow, thoroughly confused. “What? What’s going to be an issue?”

“Uh...nothing. I have to get something from the break room. Wanna join since you can’t get in there?” The actor pointed towards the offending sign on the door.

“Yeah, sure.” She agreed and they turned to begin their trek.

“So, what made you distracted enough to be a disturbance?”

“My two best friends from back home are coming to visit and I can’t freaking wait!” Y/n started bouncing through the next few steps. “I haven’t seen them in years. We had some time apart because of life and everything. But when we separately joined a forum for cat owners, we clicked all over again.I didn’t even know either of them were in it until I saw them talking to each other over the comments section. It was like we were never even apart.”

“Oh man, that’s a solid friendship right there. I’d be super jealous if I didn’t have Shayne.” Damien finished with a smirk similar to the one Y/n held after the TNTL filming.

Y/n jokingly nudged her elbow into Damien, The man, in turn, smoothly linked their arms together and then ran his hand down her wrist to lace her fingers with his. He slowly pulled her to a stop when they were in a quiet corner in the hallway.

“Do I get to meet them when they visit?”

“Of course! I’m going to introduce them to as many people as I can! They’re my babies. Of course I’m going to show them off.” The woman giggled.

Damien seemed to be thinking through his next words. “Yes, but what version of me are you introducing to them?”

Y/n shook her head. “I don’t...the human...one?”

“I mean like the co-worker version of me? Or the version of me that’s holding your hand in this quiet corner of the hallway?” He held up their hands as if to show proof to her that they were indeed linked.

After blowing out some air and making noises that made no sense, Y/n pulled her hand back and pointed down the hall. “Ya know what? I’m suddenly overtaken by a hunger that only Jackie and a coffee can fix.”

“You’re going to ask her for advice, aren’t you?” The actor called after her, since she retreated quickly.

“You don’t know my life!” Y/n pulled out her cellular device and opened a text as she briskly escaped the scene.

Y/n: Pree, Nat, if I perish from unsettled “romantic” sticky-situations before you get here, please feed my cat.

Nat: Did...did you mean to word it that way?

Pree: I’m sorry if you WHAT????

Y/N: NO THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT. HOLY BANANAS. I meant like...a situation I don’t necessarily want to be in...but don’t want to not be in. 

Y/N: Ja feel?

Pree: No. Ja totally don’t feel.

Nat: Sweetie, I think you need to use more words.

Y/N: It’s a stupid boy thing about a stupid boy.

Nat: Like how stupid?

Pree: Yeah like my son’s father stupid or like Nat’s husband stupid?

Nat: Excuse me what? I love my husband, even if he is sometimes stupid. Bless his heart.

Y/N: Okay yeah, Nat’s husband stupid.

Pree: O.o

Nat: ?!?!?!?!?!

Y/N: help.

[smloshie]

“Again and Again”

A Shayne Topp x Reader imagine

Word count: 3357

A/N: yo what’s up, another poorly written Shayne one shot.

So I know most of this stuff is inaccurate to the actual events that took place/sleeping arrangements/etc., but that’s the wonder of fan fiction! I can do whatever the fuck I want! In this one, Shayne goes on a quest to become a living Ken doll and cuts his dick off.

I’m kidding, that’s terrible. Sorry, I’m not funny.

Synopsis: During Smosh Winter Games, your boyfriend of 2 years breaks up with you over text. Shayne tries to assure you that everything will turn out okay. Angst and slight fluff.

TW: cursing, Wes

>>>>><<<<<

When you were asked to be part of the crew for the Smosh Winter Games, you ecstatically accepted. What could be better than going to stay at a huge-ass log cabin with a ton of your closest friends?

The morning that you were meant to leave, you woke up without a single hesitation. You swiftly got dressed into one of your favorite shirts, a flannel, and jeans. You didn’t really have any other options as most of your clothes were packed into your suitcase, which was waiting by the door for you. You grabbed a granola bar from your pantry and ate it for a quick breakfast while pulling out your phone to call your boyfriend, Ethan. After 3 rings, he picked up.

“Hello?” His groggy voice came through your phone’s speaker.

“Hey! I’m leaving my place now so,” you grabbed your water bottle to fill it up, balancing your phone in between your shoulder and ear, “I just wanted to call you to let you know that I love you and I’ll see you when I get back!”

“Okay.” He sounded kinda off to you. He was either tired or irritated, but you were in too good of a mood to let his ‘I’m not going to tell you what’s wrong, but I want you to ask and make sure I’m okay’ attitude get to you.

“Uh, alright then! I’ll... see you in a few days!

-

Everyone was asked to be at the office relatively early, since it was a pretty long drive ahead of you. You and your luggage were escorted to a van. You ended up riding in what became, “Awesome Car One” and rode with Wes, Sohinki, Lasercorn, and Shayne. Before you knew it, you were off on the road trip to Big Bear Lake. After about 30 minutes of driving, a vlog camera was passed around and shoved into your face.

“(Y/N)! What are you most excited for?” Lasercorn asked, his eyes wide with anticipation.

“Sledding, a hundred percent! I used to do it as a kid but since it doesn’t snow in California, I haven’t done it since I moved out here.” You explained

“Okay, I didn’t need your entire damn life story.” He replied bringing the camera back to face him.

“Don’t be so mean, she was just reminiscing!” Wes came to your defense.

“Thank you, Wes!” You smiled at him. You felt your phone vibrate and looked down to see a text from Sarah.

Olivia just got car sink and threw up on the side of the road

*sick

You laughed and remembered part of the conversation you all had earlier.

“Hey, you guys remember how we were talking about Olivia not surviving in the cold?” You asked. They all murmured ‘yes's and ‘yeah’s.

“Well apparently she just threw up on the side of the road because of motion sickness,” you laughed.

“Oh shit, is she okay?” Shayne laughed slightly.

“Probably!” You shrugged your shoulders.

-

After hours of driving, you and everyone else finally arrived at the log cabin (or mansion.) You hopped out of the car and started to stretch. Being in a cramped car for a few hours straight was pretty rough on the joints.

You headed behind the van to help unload your group’s luggage. Shayne pulled your suitcase out for you and handed it to you.

“Thank you, kind valet!” You took the case from him and smiled.

“Valet? I thought I’d at least be butler status by now…” he said, looking disappointed as he grabbed his own bag from the back.

“Maybe some other day. Just not today,” you laughed. The two of you began to walk towards the front door of the cabin. Sarah walked up next to you guys.

“Hey guys! (Y/N), we’re staying downstairs,” She said. She wasn’t carrying anything, so you assumed she had already settled in.

“Okay, awesome- oh, wait! How’s Olivia doing?” You asked.

“Oh right, did she throw up anymore?” Shayne tagged on to your question.

“Yea, yea. She’s fine! Actually, she literally started complaining about being hungry immediately after she threw up so…” Sarah responded. You giggled at her seemingly quick recovery.

Once you stepped into the place, you looked around for the staircase that would lead downstairs.

“It’s this way,” you heard a voice say behind you. You turned and saw Shayne smiling at you, standing in front of the staircase. You smiled back and followed him down the stairs.

“Jesus Christ, the size of this place is kinda terrifying…” You nervously laughed and looked around at all the log and stone decorations. You were pretty sure you even saw fake bear skins hanging from some ceiling beams.

“Yea, but it’s kinda really awe-“

“Y’know this huge-ass mansion is basically built on stilts, so it could all come down at any second!” Lasercorn came in, interrupting Shayne. He looked at him, disapprovingly.

“Shut up, we’ll be fine.” Shayne placed his hand on the wooden wall and leaned back casually. The floorboards above you guys creaked, causing Shayne’s eyes to widen and Lasercorn’s smile to grow.

“Yea, I’m sure we’ll be fine…” he laughed and walked away, leaving just you two in the room.

“I don’t know who else is staying in this room, but I’m for sure calling the top bunk.” You said, chucking your suitcase to the top of a bunk bed with the might of Zeus.

Shayne laughed, “I guess I’ll go bottom bunk then.” He placed his bag on the bed underneath yours.

“Shayne Topp is now… Shayne Bottom…” you whispered to yourself. Shayne heard you.

“That joke sucked.”

-

After everyone settled into their rooms, beds, and spaces, a few of you decided to go to the living room and hang out with each other. Pizza was ordered, drinks were had, people were testing out the hot tub, and the whole night was just like a big family reunion. It was rare that you all were in the same place at the same time, so you just kind of looked around the room and took it all in. Your thoughts were soon interrupted by Shayne's presence. He hopped up and sat on the back of the couch, behind you. You looked up at him and smiled.

“Hey,” you said, casually.

“I wanna play ping pong but I need another player; you down?” He asked you, raising an eyebrow.

You laughed, “Sure, but I’m kind of a natural Forrest Gump at ping pong.”

He called your bluff, “Yea, okay. Sure.” The two of you giggled as you headed to the game room.

-

After 4 matches, the two of you were tied up.

“Loser has to put his dick in a mound of snow.” You said, playfully.

“Wh- hey! Are you assuming that you’re going to win?” He defensively raised his hands.

“Is it really an assumption if it’s so obviously going to happen?” You quipped back.

“I- what?” He shook his head, “whatever, I’m into snow anyway. She’s my babe.”

You giggled as you bounced the ping pong ball and hit it gently towards him. He hit it back. You hit it at him, he hit it back. This went on for a while, (y‘know, like a game of ping pong?) Eventually you did whatever the ping pong-equivalent of spiking was. It bounced so hard on his side of the table that it ended up flying over his head. Your mouth formed an O and your arms shot up as he failed to hit the ball back.

“OOHHH SHIT! Have fun catching hypothermia, frosty dick!” You teased.

“You were serious? I thought you were kidding…” Shayne whined.

“Okay so maybe don’t pull down your pants and do it, but you gotta put snow down the front of your pants.” You reasoned. Shayne groaned.

“Fine, I’ll be right back.” He stepped out of the room to run and get a handful of snow from outside. While he was gone, you decided to check your phone. You saw that you had a text from Ethan so you unlocked your phone to read it.

Honestly, you were expecting a ‘good night’ text, as it was pretty late. Instead, your eyes focused on the words ‘I’m sorry’ in a sea of other words and phrases. Phrases like ‘it’s just getting too hard’ and ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ and ‘I hope we can still be cool after this.’ Your stomach dropped.

Was this really happening?

Shayne burst into the room, interrupting whatever thoughts were racing through your mind.

“Okay, I’m back! I had to run past everyone before the snow melted, so that’s going to be fun to explain later.” He was almost out of breath, “you ready?”

Like a switch was flipped, your face lit up as you turned to face him.

“I think the real question is, are you ready?” You laughed, trying to wash what just happened out of your brain

-

You woke up the next morning on the top bunk. Normally, your first instinct would be to check your phone, but last night’s events suddenly came flooding back. You decided to hold off on checking the phone for now. Instead you just laid on your back, staring at the ceiling. You went on like that for a while before realizing that the room you were in was eerily quiet. However, you could hear voices coming from upstairs. Everyone must have been awake already. Though you were dreading it, you leaned over to check the time on your phone. 11:34 A.M. You were all going to go sledding at 12, but in all honesty, you didn’t think you could. You really wanted to get your mind off of Ethan, but you also wanted to stay isolated so that you could have time to process your feelings. Almost on cue, as always, Shayne entered the room.

“Are you still sleeping?” He asked. He stepped onto the second leg of the ladder leading to your bunk, and peered over the edge to look at you.

“No I’m awake, just… hanging out.” You responded, trying to sound as normal as possible.

“Oh, okay. Well get ready! We’re finally going sledding!” He excitedly shook your blanket and jumped down from the ladder.

“Uh- actually, Shayne?” You called out. He turned to you.

“Yea?”

“Just, um… I don’t know if I’m really- y’know I’m just really not… I’m not really feeling sledding right now.” You managed to say. He looked confused.

“Really? But you were so excited! Are you sure?” He had a right to be confused. He knew you wouldn’t skip out on what you had been looking forward to most. At least, not for no reason. But not only did he know when something was wrong, he also knew your limits and when you really didn’t want to talk about something.

“Yea, maybe later today.” You pulled your blankets up over your shoulders.

“Okay then… is there something bothering you that I should know about? Anything at all?”

You sniffled silently. You prayed he didn’t hear that, “No, no… I’m totally fine! Just y’know sometimes people just don’t feel like doing stuff.” You tried to justify yourself in the most vague but reasonable way possible. Shayne finally decided to let it go.

“Okay,” he began to walk towards the door but hung back in the doorway, “See you later then?”

You were near tears, so you didn’t want to verbally answer. So instead you nodded, but remembered he probably couldn’t see you. You shot a thumbs up into the air for him to see. He hummed in acknowledgement before closing the door and heading back upstairs.

This shit really hurt. Not only did you just get broke up with by someone that you were planning a future with, but you had to keep it hidden from everybody. You didn’t want to be the one to ruin everyone’s time and make their fun getaway into some comfort-fest, where you were the guest of honor.

Tears streamed down the sides of your face. You rolled over and tried to go back to sleep, but you just couldn’t. Instead you put in your earbuds and listened to some music, while staring at the ceiling. You stayed like this for a few minutes.

A few minutes turned into a few hours.

A few hours turned into the whole day.

Shayne came in after sledding to bring you some food, but you dismissed him. You told him you weren’t hungry. He didn’t believe you, but he could tell that you still weren’t ready to talk about whatever was bothering you yet. He wanted to give you time.

-

Everyone eventually filed into their rooms and bunks to get ready for bed and go to sleep. The lights went out and people started falling asleep. You couldn’t sleep, so you quietly got out of bed and walked up the creaking wooden stairs and into the kitchen.

It was sweet of Shayne to bring you food earlier, and you regretted turning it down. As you opened the fridge, your stomach growled. It was pretty loud, considering the house was quiet. Every once and a while you’d hear giggles, snores, coughs, and other various noises.

You grabbed the milk jug out of the fridge and gently placed it on the counter behind you before tip-toeing to the cabinet and opening it carefully. You made yourself a bowl of cereal. You sat down at one of the kitchen island’s stools and began eating, though something felt off. You felt a presence in the room. You slowly turned your head and looked into the pitch-black doorway that led to the living room. You saw a shadowy figure staring back at you.

“Hey Shayne.” You directed your attention back to your bowl. He approached you with a smile.

“Did I scare you?” He asked, casually assuming the position of leaning against the kitchen island, across from you.

“Not really, I knew it was you.” You shrugged with a silent laugh.

“What? How?”

“The outline of you is… distinguishable? I think that’s the right word. I dunno, muscular.” You paused. Was that weird to point out? I mean, everyone made jokes about his… buffness. Why were you thinking so much about this?

“Oh, why thank you!” His smiled grew and he looked down at his feet.

“Though, I will admit; I hardly recognized you without your beanie.” He looked back up at you and made a face.

“Well yea, it's… nighttime. I don’t sleep in it.” He laughed, “so are you going to tell me what’s up?” His smile quickly switched to a more caring demeanor. You couldn’t stop looking at his kind eyes and sweet smile. He really wanted you to be okay.

“Ethan… broke up with me.” You looked down. Saying it out loud was weird. The words fell out of your mouth and seemed to float in the air and hang in front of your face. The realization hit once more, and so did the crying. You blinked back tears, but each time you moved your eyelashes, more and more fell. You brought your hand up to your eyes and wiped your face. He wasn’t saying anything, so you looked up at him. His brows were furrowed and his jaw was clenched. You waited in silence for a while. He finally spoke.

“I always fucking hated that guy.” You didn’t know how to react to that. You couldn’t exactly be offended, but it was definitely a crude reaction. “Sorry, sorry. I just meant that- well… I just always got that weird feeling that he was going to hurt you.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” You wiped more tears away with your hand.

“Well… I always wanted to. I would overhear you talking about manipulative things he would do, but then the next day you were fine. And while I didn’t like seeing you hurt, I knew that it wasn’t exactly my place to talk.”

“That’s… bullshit.” You said. He seemed taken aback, “Sorry. I just- I get it. But I really wish you had said something. It would’ve been so much easier for me to end things from a friend telling me what they saw, instead of him ending things for seemingly no reason. I guess I’m just sick of losing people that mean a lot to me. I’m sick of forming relationships with people that leave me.”

He looked so sad to hear you say those words. You should’ve stopped there, but the floodgates were open. You began rambling like a frantic mess.

“How is someone as fucked up as me supposed to ever share myself with someone again? H-How do I know I can trust someone before I give a part of me away to them? How will I know they w-won’t leave me like everyone el-“

He cuts you off by grabbing your body and wrapping his arms around you. You hadn’t realized that during that time, he had circled the island and appeared by your side.

“Hearing you think like that is so… upsetting. I know I can’t say or do much to prevent you from thinking that way, but please- please just know that you still have your entire life to find the perfect person who will make you feel like you’re worth every second.” He seemed to plead with you. He was begging you to see yourself how he saw you.

In that moment, in that position… you realized you liked having his arms around you. The feeling it gave you was sheer perfection compared to how your ex made you feel. With your ear on him, you could hear his heartbeat and it was beating fast. You managed to stutter out a few words with your face pressed into his body.

“Thank you.” You removed your head from his chest, and looked up at him. You were met with his bright blue eyes. While you couldn’t hear his heartbeat anymore, yours became increasingly more noticeable to you. Your tears stopped falling, and time seemed to slow. His face inched closer to yours, and you tilted your chin up. You didn’t know what was happening, but it felt like a magnet was pulling you towards each other. Eventually, after what seemed like way too long for your liking, your lips connected.

You liked Shayne.

The two of you kept kissing, neither of you really wanted to stop. It grew increasingly more intense. This was something that Shayne had been waiting for. Not just for the kiss, but for you. His hands were placed firmly on your back, and slowly began to adjust to your body. Your hands ran through his hair, silent sighs escaping your mouth. What you were doing felt so good, but you knew it had to end. You pulled away slowly, and gently opened your eyes, where you were once again met with his.

“Sorry, that was way too soon. I shouldn’t have done that.” He began nervously running his hand through his hair. He looked kinda really hot like that...

“No it’s okay! That was good. I’m… good. I liked it.” You tried to keep him from overthinking it. He looked up at you with hope in his eyes.

“Really?”

“Yea really. I agree that the timing was kinda… poor. But it was a good thing that I would like to happen again.”

“Again?”

“Yea… again. As in, I would like to kiss you Shayne. Again… and again...” You smiled and looked down at your feet. He bit his lip to prevent an excited giggle from escaping. He cleared his throat in an attempt to keep his cool.

“Do you… want a hot drink?” He asked. You nodded.

-

The two of you spent the rest of the night, sitting on the couch and talking. About Ethan, about each other, about… everything. You held the warm mug of hot cocoa in your hands. You couldn’t drink it, your stomach wouldn’t allow you; there were way too many butterflies doing acrobatics in there. Eventually, the two of you decided to turn in for the night.

The next day came, and you went sledding.

[a-singleboat]

Just for Laughs

Word Count: 2.7k

Request:  Could you do a Noah fanfic with either the sixth or eighth prompt on Fake Family!? :) - anon

There were three things you knew about living in Los Angeles. The first was to never walk anywhere alone at night. Between the constant tourists and the fact that you were vertically challenged, it was easy for you to get lost in the crowd. The second was to never forget to bring your pepper spray with you--which you had. It was an honest mistake. In between rushing out of the house that morning and spilling lukewarm coffee on yourself, you figured you could allow that one slip up. 

The third thing you knew about living in Los Angeles, however, was that you could always call on your best friend to get you out of a sticky situation if you ever needed. 

So now, at two in the morning, you called him up and explained your situation. After wrapping up the closing shift at the bar, you realized that you had let the time slip away from you yet again. The trains stopped their service at one am, you knew that, but the tourists in the area didn’t. 

“Again,” you said, drawing your black cardigan closer to your body. “I’m really sorry about this, Noah. There were some late customers and Phil had already left for the night so I didn’t really know what to do and by the time I actually managed to kick them out, it was two.”

“It’s fine, Y/n,” he assured you over the phone. You heard the jangling of keys on the other side as a door closed, his car starting up not even a second later. “But you have to make this up to me.”

You shivered slightly in the November chill. While the weather during the day wasn’t terribly cold, the nights could prove hypothermic. 

“Fine,” you said, rubbing your arms to generate what little heat you could. “I’ll do whatever, thank you.”

“I’ll be there in ten,” he promised before hanging up. You slipped your phone back into the small bag you carried and drew your keys. If you didn’t have your pepper spray, you’d at least be able to defend yourself with the semi-sharp pieces of metal. 

Thankfully, you didn’t have to stab anyone that night. True to his word, Noah arrived ten minutes later, honking his horn twice. 

You clambered into his car, apologizing and thanking him profusely yet again. He waved you off, signaling to pull away from the curb. 

“It’s really okay, Y/n,” he said, setting off toward your apartment. “Besides, mom would kill me if I just left you to fend for yourself.”

You giggled. Mom. He was of course, referring to his own mother. After yours had died when you were very little, you had bonded with the strange boy that brought you flowers the day after the funeral. And while Denise couldn’t truly replace your own mother, she acted enough like her to gain the title. 

“So you know how I said you’d owe me?” Noah asked, finally pulling into his assigned parking space. 

You nodded. 

“Well…” he rubbed the back of his neck. “We’re doing recording for a Smosh Pit video next week and Courtney’s bringing her sister and I was thinking…”

“You want me to be your sister for the video as well,” you guessed, getting out of the car. He killed the engine and got out as well, locking the doors before the two of you headed toward the building. 

It was lucky that the two of you had managed to find a place with two vacancies. You were separated only by an older woman named Barbara and her three cats, which neither of you minded considering you were both avid cat people. 

The two of you walked up to your floor, the elevator being out of service for the time being. He told you a little more about the premise of the video, in which you and Courtney’s sister would essentially be going through embarrassing moments and videos of the two from their childhood. 

“So basically I get to make fun of you to your fans while they all think that I’m your biological sister?” you asked, key already in the door. You already knew you were going to say yes, after all, you owed him. You twisted the handle and removed the key, opening the door. “Am I getting paid?”

“Uh, yes,” Noah said. “If you agree to it, Ian, my boss, will send all the information to you and the paperwork and stuff as well.”

You propped the door open with one foot, reaching in slightly to hang your keys on the hook just inside your door. You held your hand out to the man, who gladly shook it. 

“I’ll be there,” you promised, inching into your apartment. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I wish to no longer reek of alcohol.”

Noah laughed. “Yeah, and other things.”

You hit him with your bag, not hard enough to hurt, and laughed as well. 

“Goodnight, Noah,” you said, waving to him.

“Goodnight, Y/n.”

A week later and you were really feeling the nerves. You’d gone to the address that Noah had sent you and after a brief reunion with Keith, you were buzzed in and brought up to the studios. There, you said hello to a few people you remembered from an event Noah had hosted in his apartment before being directed to where Noah’s desk sat. 

It wasn’t long before your best friend came and gathered you, wrapping you in his arms and messing with your hair. You swatted at him, telling him to back off before using your phone’s camera to fix the rat’s nest that he had created atop your head. You were’;t really annoyed, having spent no time doing your hair. The most you’d done that day was put a bit of product in to contain the frizz. 

Humidity really was not your friend. 

“You ready to go?” he asked, pointing over his shoulder with his thumb. “They’re pretty much ready for us.”

You stood up from his seat, grabbing your phone but leaving your bag. “You never told me exactly what you guys were filming today, Noah. Like, you said it was a Smosh Pit video but didn’t really explain what it was.”

Noah rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, there was a reason why I told you to bring an extra set of clothes.” 

Right. Last minute that morning, Noah had texted for you to bring an extra set of clothes. Just in case, he had stressed. 

“Basically, it’s like newlyweds but with sisters,” he explained, weaving through various equipment pieces and clothing racks. You’d worked in entertainment before, you know how chaotic behind the scenes could get. This was clean for a production day. “Sarah, one of our producers will ask us questions that we’ll try and answer. If we answer the same, we get a point. If we don’t, we don’t get a point.”

You tried to think back to who Sarah was. You knew Keith and Courtney, two of Noah’s work friends, but knew none of the rest of them. Sarah… She must have been the bubbly half American, half-Korean producer and Social Media manager that appeared in videos from time to time. 

“Seems simple enough,” you replied, bouncing on the balls of your feet as you waited next to him. You had stopped outside of the studio doors to wait for Courtney and her sister, Kari. Between the two of you, Kari had more Smosh appearances under her belt than you did--not that you had any to begin with. 

It didn’t take long for the sisters to arrive, Courtney greeting you with a massive hug while you and Kari settled for the, “hey, we just met but this is polite,” hug. 

“You never really explained why I needed to bring an extra set of clothes,” you said, poking Noah in the side. They had allowed you into the studio at that point.

“The losing team gets pied,” Courtney supplied, looking at Noah. “Why didn’t you tell your sister that you were getting pied?”

You looked over at Noah with an incredulous look. “Noah! I think that would have been important to know.”

“It just slipped my mind!” he defended himself, laughing as you swatted at him. Neither of you bothered to correct Courtney’s claim that you were siblings. You figured she knew and just referred to what everyone else called you.

You chatted a bit longer, just getting to know each other and get more comfortable with each other when someone came over to attach microphones to your person. You let them do their job, thanking them when they backed away. 

Another woman came over, this time dressed a little more like a show hostess. 

“I’m Sarah,” she introduced herself, holding out a hand for you to shake. You gave her your name, laughing at the comment she made about how you and Noah had different last names. 

“It happens sometimes,” you joked, shrugging your shoulders. You figured that at this point, if they didn’t know you weren’t actually related, you wouldn’t try to correct them. 

Soon enough, filming started and you were handed a whiteboard and a marker, an eraser sitting on the table between you and Noah. You listened as Sarah explained the rules of the game. In order to gain a point, the answers had to be correct, or had to be similar or even the same. If you don’t answer it right, you didn’t get the point. At the end of the game of three rounds, the losing team would be getting pied. 

“First question is for the Grossmans!” Sarah announced, turning slightly so she was facing you and Noah. “What is their star sign?”

You scribbled ‘Aquarius,’ knowing it right off the top of your head. You kept your eyes on your own board, only looking up at Sarah when you were finished. She called time and you both revealed your answers. 

“Aquarius,” Sarah read, looking at your board before moving to Noah’s. She read out your star sign, which you confirmed was correct, gaining the two of your a point. You gave Noah a high five as you went to erase your board. 

The game continued on, you getting almost every question right while Courtney and Kari practically tied you at every question. 

“Okay!” Sarah said, setting her cards down. “Here’s a tie breaker for the two teams. Whoever wins this will not be getting pied and, in fact, will be receiving this ten-dollar gift card to Starbucks that I stole from Matt Raub’s wallet earlier today.”

You laughed at the joke, laughing even harder when Matt Raub himself yelled, “Hey!” and then, “Not sponsored!” from off-stage. 

“Our last question is…” Sarah opened the glued-together piece of paper, reading the question before saying, “What’s a secret that only the two of you know?”

You looked over at Noah, silently asking how that was a question valid to the newlywed game. He just shrugged and picked up his marker, writing down his answer. You picked up your own marker and jotted something down as well. 

A few moments later, Sarah called time and you recapped your marker, setting it down on the table.

“Okay,” she said, clapping her hands together. “Since we started with Noah and Y/n last time, we’ll let Courtney and Kari go first this time.”

You watched as Kari turned her board around first, her secret scrawled on the whiteboard. 

“Um,” she said looking down at her answer. “I said a secret that the two of us shared was a time when we were exploring one day and Courtney had dropped her phone over the cliff. We told our dad that she’d actually just dropped it while walking and didn’t tell them about how we scaled the cliff to get it back.”

“No!” Courtney cried, flipping her board. “I said the time when I drove into the fence and you lied and took the blame for it because I didn’t have my license yet!”

All five of you laughed as Courtney told the story, playing up the humor for the cameras. 

“Well, Courtney and Kari,” Sarah said, frowning, “sadly you did not answer this correctly so we’re going to go to Noah and Y/n.” She turned to face the two of you. “Noah, Y/n. If you get this right, you will be crowned the winners. Are you ready?”

You nodded nervously, picking at the corner of the whiteboard. 

“I’m ready,” you affirmed, looking at Noah who replied the same. 

“Okay,” Sarah said, holding a hand out to you. “Y/n, please reveal your answer.”

You flipped the board, letting the cameras and the room read the words written there. 

“What?” Sarah asked in disbelief, reading the board. “Is this real?” 

You laughed. “Yes, this is real. Noah and I aren’t actually siblings.”

Noah turned his board around too, revealing that he had written the same thing. He laughed as Sarah fanned herself, playing up her disbelief for the camera. 

“We always joke we’re siblings, but someone didn’t realize we were joking,” you explained, laughing. You set the whiteboard down on the table. “So we were seeing how far we can carry this out and apparently twenty years is the answer.”

“We would’ve kept it going but we thought you guys had already caught on,” Noah said. “Sarah even made the last name comment earlier.”

“I was joking!” Sarah said, laughing. “I thought Y/n was married or something, I don’t know!”

You shook your head. “Marriage will not be anytime soon, but I appreciate you taking it with stride, Sarah.”

Everyone laughed, Courtney and Noah doing part of the video’s outro before the video cut out so they could rearrange the room so they could pie Courtney and Kari.

“Wait,” Sarah and Courtney stopped you from moving too far away from them. “So Noah and you aren’t really related?”

You laughed. “No, but his mom is basically my mom. We grew up next door to each other and instead of falling madly in love I got a really cool older brother that brings me to his job and gets me into videos.” 

They called for Courtney and Kari to stand on the tarp in the middle of the room, setting up the pies on the table in front of them. You met back with Noah, who had disappeared to use the bathroom, and linked arms with him, standing to the side. 

“Can I just say, I am so glad we’re not the ones getting pied today,” you joked, watching as Courtney and Kari were given ponchos that would try to save their outfits. 

“Same here,” Noah said, grinning as Courtney looked upset as she slipped the plastic poncho over her head. 

When they were finally set, Sarah waved Noah and you back onto the set. She handed each of you a pie, positioning you both in front of the sisters. 

You were paired with Courtney while Noah was put in front of Kari, pies at the ready. You listened as they did a mass countdown, squeaking out an, “I’m so sorry,” before pushing the pie into Courtney’s face. You held it there for a moment, moving it back and forth before letting it fall off her face. 

It splattered onto the floor, getting a bit on your shoes. You kicked the pie away from yourself, laughing as Courtney tasted a bit of the whipped cream. 

“This is really good,” she joked, scraping a bit off her cheek and sucking her finger into her mouth. 

You helped her clean the pie off her shoulders while Noah pied Kari, both of you laughing when the entirety of the pie somehow fell out of the platter and over Kari’s shoulders. 

“Thank you for watching!” Noah said, still laughing as he tried to clean some of the pie off Kari’s shoulders. “You can find Kari on Instagram at Karimiller and you can find Y/n at [instagram handle]!” 

“Thank you guys for coming and hanging out with us!” Courtney said, reaching over to hug her sister. Noah grabbed you in for a hug as well, waving at the camera as Matt Raub yelled, “cut!”

[viasdreams]

I neeeed more bf texts from you… particularly angst to fluff and specifically with park jisung !!!!

here you go as ordered 🫡 (its not heavy angst cuz i was in a silly mode while writing 😬)

tysm for the request <3

[smooshjames]

forget you not (v)

how come they don’t make ‘em like you, babe? (or: a night to hold on to)

word count: 3.6k

a/n: ok this is technically the final part of forget you not as it’s currently written, but i may write an epilogue if i’m feeling up to it. but either way, thank you for reading and i hope you’ve enjoyed!! as always, all songs that have been mentioned or will be mentioned are not mine; they belong to little mix. this chapter only has one, which you can listen to here. also, i have a ko-fi, so if you want / are able to buy me a coffee, i would sincerely appreciate it! alright, i believe that’s everything i need so say, so without further ado, here’s part five of forget you not. thank you againn for reading, i hope you enjoy!

warnings: more angst, Implied Sexual Content(tm)

previous parts: one, two, three, four

No one pressed you for details on your conversation with Shayne, which you were glad for. You didn’t even know what to think about it yourself, much less how to explain it to other people, even to your best friends. You went through the last event of the day in a sort of trance, barely speaking throughout the whole interview. If anyone asked you about it, you figured you could just blame it on being exhausted after a long day.

As soon as you were free, you went straight back to your hotel room and locked yourself in the bathroom for an hour so that you could shower and decompress. Once you had scrubbed all your makeup off and changed into more comfortable clothes, you came out of the bathroom and found your hotel room empty. There was a note from Carly that read the following:

Hey Buttercup,

I figured you’d want some time and space so I went over to Alexis and Piper’s room. If you want to talk, or just to have some company, feel free to come join us. We were thinking about going out for dinner so text me if you want something.

I love you. You’re the baddest bitch I ever met.

-- C

You smiled at her thoughtfulness and went to crawl into bed. You scrolled through Twitter for a while but found your eyelids growing heavier as the sun began to disappear behind the horizon. It wasn’t that late, only about eight o’clock, but between getting up early and having such an exhausting day, you soon found yourself dragged off into sleep.

You woke up around eleven, groggy and disoriented. When you sat up, you saw Carly entering your darkened room. “Hey,” you said, voice rough with sleep and disuse. “How was dinner?”

“It was good,” she said. “You feeling okay?”

You sighed. “I don’t know,” you said. You dug around in the sheets for your phone and eventually found it. It was almost dead so you went to plug it in. There were no pressing notifications; the only things of note were a text from one of your friends back home and a text from Carly, sent shortly after you’d fallen asleep, which was just her double-checking that you didn’t want anything for dinner. “I kind of feel like somebody punched through my ribcage and started squeezing my heart.”

“I think that’s called a heart attack,” Carly said, smiling. You laughed despite yourself. “In all seriousness, I don’t blame you. This weekend has been utterly insane. I’m gonna shower and get some sleep, though, okay? We need to be up early tomorrow so we can pack before we fly home.”

You nodded. She rooted around in her suitcase for a change of clothes and then disappeared into the bathroom. You considered her words. You weren’t sure if you wanted to go home the next day. You knew that if you left without seeing Shayne, your choice would be made; if you didn’t go see him tonight, you’d probably never see him again.

You made a frustrated sound in the back of your throat. You reached for your phone, found the text from him, and put the address into your GPS. It was only twenty minutes from your hotel.

After thirty or so minutes, the water in the bathroom shut off. You laid on your back and stared up at the ceiling, debating.

The lovesick teenager in you really wanted to go to him, at least so you could see him one last time before you really said goodbye. Maybe if you gave him another chance…

No. That was stupid. You had to remind yourself what happened last time; all the tears, the heartache, the pain. The only reason you got through it was Carly, and then eventually the band.

You wrote music to help yourself cope, and then you met Alexis and Piper, and everything took off from there. If you let yourself give in to the insane idea that he could magically be better this time, you were signing your own death warrant. You knew how things ended with Shayne.

You rolled onto your side so that you were facing away from Carly’s bed and looking at the window. You closed your eyes and tried to sleep, but you couldn’t. Distantly, you could hear Carly moving around the room behind you as she got ready to go to bed. You heard her covers rustling as she laid down.

You couldn’t force your brain to be quiet, and after a while, you ended up just staring straight at the radiator on the far wall of the room. Slivers of moonlight were shining through the cracks in the blinds.

Something thumped against the back of your head. You let out a yelp, surprised, and bolted upright. When you turned around, Carly was still laying down and facing away from you, but one of her pillows was on the ground between the two beds. You figured she had thrown it at you. “What was that for?” you demanded.

“You’re being too loud,” she replied. “I can’t sleep.”

“I’m not saying anything!”

She rolled over and looked at you, accusatory. “I can hear you thinking.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’ll try to quiet my thoughts down,” you said, sarcastic. You scrubbed your hands over your face, frustration causing your shoulders to draw tight and tense.

“Please do,” she replied, fake-annoyed. Her voice softened, though, as she continued: “what happened today, buttercup?”

“What do you mean?” you asked. You knew what she was talking about, but you didn’t want to face it.

She rolled her eyes. “I mean you and Shayne disappeared after the Smosh video, and you said all of about three words to anybody for the rest of the day. The girls and I were all talking about it over dinner. If he did something, we can and will make his death look like an accident.”

Again, a laugh bubbled out of you despite yourself. Carly always knew how to cheer you up. But the laugh faded quickly, and the smile not long after it. You sighed. “He didn’t do anything,” you said. “I mean, he just… he said that him and Courtney aren’t dating, and then he said that a part of him is still in love with me, and he said he doesn’t want to ‘leave things like this,’ whatever that means, so he texted me his new address and said I could come over if I wanted to. He said that he wants to talk more, but that if I don’t show up tonight then he’ll never bother me again. The most batshit crazy thing he said was that he thought I was over him. And it’s just stupid because he says he doesn’t want to leave things like this but he’s the one who ended it in the first place!”

By the end of your rant, your voice had raised in pitch and volume. You ran a hand through your hair, distressed. A tear dripped down the bridge of your nose and you wiped at it frustratedly, but with that tear, the floodgates opened. Your throat tightened and you couldn’t hold back a sob. You felt your heart, which had been so precariously stitched back together, shattering all over again.

“Oh, honey,” Carly murmured. She slid out of her bed and moved over to yours so that she could wrap you in a hug. You clutched at her shirt and let yourself be babied for a few minutes, crying weakly against her.

A part of you was disgusted with yourself. You had worked so hard to get over him, and now here you were, broken again after just one weekend. You thought that you’d given all the tears you had to give for him.

Once you had managed to calm down, Carly moved so that she was sitting next to you rather than on her knees in front of you. She kept one arm wrapped around your shoulders. “So now you don’t know if you should go or not?”

You nodded. “I know that if I don’t, if I go to the airport tomorrow and fly home… he’ll keep his promise. That was the one thing he was always good at. And I know that it’s for the best if I just let it die, but something in me doesn’t want this to be the last time we ever talk to each other. Seeing him again, I… I was so sure that I was over him. But there’s a reason I haven’t found anybody else, and the reason is that every date I go on, every guy I’m with… I compare them to him. And no one ever seems quite as good. And now he’s twenty minutes away and I can’t sleep because I just know I need to --”

You stopped short. You had finally found your answer.

“Go, Y/N,” Carly whispered.

It didn’t take more than that. You threw off your covers, grabbed your phone and wallet, pulled on the first pair of shoes you saw, and rushed down to the lobby to catch the first taxi you could find.

***

Shayne was beginning to give up hope, which was a statement, considering he hadn’t had much of that to begin with.

He ordered takeout from your favorite Chinese place. At least it had been your favorite before everything fell apart. He hoped your order was still the same. Once he had the food, he put it in the oven to keep it warm and began straightening up his apartment. He took out the trash, washed the dishes, folded and refolded the throw blanket on the couch, and halfheartedly played Animal Crossing in an effort to take his mind off of the passing minutes.

Eight o’clock came and went, and nine o’clock not long after it.

At 9:30, Shayne went to move the food from the oven to the fridge. He considered eating his but decided against it. If you showed up, he didn’t want you to have to eat alone. Besides, his nerves had completely sapped him of any appetite.

At ten o’clock, he gave up on Animal Crossing and just put on an old comedy special instead. He scrolled through Twitter but found that he wasn’t absorbing any of the words on the screen, so he put his phone down and just stared at his television without really hearing any of the jokes.

A couple of times, a car door closed outside of his apartment and he perked up, hoping against hope. But the knock on his door never came, so he sank back down into the couch and turned back to the TV, kicking himself for being so stupid. Of course you weren’t going to come.

Finally, at 11:30, he sighed and went to get ready for bed. He was halfway to the bathroom when there was a knock on the door. He froze.

“Hey, Shayne, um…” he felt like he could cry tears of joy at the sound of the voice from outside, slightly distorted through the wood of the door but definitely yours. Shayne felt like his bones were melting. “It’s Y/N, I, uh… could you let me in, please?”

He nearly broke his leg running over to the door. He cleared his throat, straightened his shirt, and opened the door. You were standing there in sweatpants and a ratty old t-shirt, your eyes red-rimmed and puffy. “Hey,” you said.

“Hi,” he said. “Um, come in, please.”

He stepped back to let you in, which you did. There was a moment of agonizing silence where you stood on his welcome mat, looking around.

“It’s nice,” you said.

“Thanks,” he said, closing the door behind you. “Um, sit down, please. Make yourself comfortable. I ordered Chinese for you if -- if you’re hungry. Or if you want water or something, I can get you some of that, too.”

“Actually, I am really hungry. I didn’t eat dinner,” you said. He felt his chest twist with worry, but he didn’t comment on it. He didn’t have the right to be worried about you. You were an adult, and you could take care of yourself.

“Okay,” he said. “I’ll go heat it up.”

You mumbled an “okay” and sat down on the couch while he went into the kitchen to heat up your food. He moved through his apartment in sort of a daze, only half-aware of what he was doing.

You looked like an angel sitting on the couch when he got home. Your nose was buried in the book you’d started last week, and it must’ve been good because you seemed to be well over halfway through it. You looked up when you heard the door close and flashed him that smile that made him feel like he was going to implode with the force of his love for you. Suddenly, his palms were sweating and his heart was thundering and he couldn’t breathe.

He felt like he was in a coal mine and the canary had just dropped dead.

“Hey, babe,” you said. “How was your day?”

He barely heard the question. He walked over to the counter and braced himself against it, took a deep, shuddering breath. The ring in his back pocket suddenly weighed a metric ton. Too much; too much feeling, too much pressure. He was pretty sure this was what dying felt like.

Jesus, what was wrong with him? He had a woman behind him that was perfect in every aspect, and that fact was suddenly cloying, overwhelming. It was cold in the apartment but he shrugged his jacket off anyway. He felt shaky, unsteady.

He couldn’t do it anymore. He didn’t know why, but he felt panic welling up inside him and he knew he needed out. And then, before he could think it through, he dumped kerosene over his own life and set it ablaze with just four, stupid words.

“We need to talk.”

The microwave beeped. Shayne startled back into the present. He blinked a few times, trying to clear his head of thoughts of that night. That didn’t matter right now. What mattered was that you were sitting in the living room waiting for him, and if you were waiting for him that meant you were willing to talk. That meant he had a chance.

He returned to the living room with the food and held yours out to you, and he couldn’t help but notice the way your eyes lit up when you saw where it was from.

“No way! I haven’t had this in so long!” you said, looking between Shayne and the takeout container like he’d performed some kind of miracle.

For a split second, it was as if the last few years hadn’t happened. You tucked into your food and he did the same with his, and there were a couple of minutes where neither of you said anything. Every so often he’d sneak a glance at you, trying to commit to memory exactly what you looked like at that moment. It was edging ever-closer to midnight, and the moonlight filtering in through his blinds had haloed you in silver light. You looked ethereal and lovely and he could feel himself falling back in love with you with each passing second.

Finally, when you were done eating, you set the takeout container down on the coffee table and turned to him. He did the same. “That was really good,” you said. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” he said. “I, um… I thought you wouldn’t come.”

“In all honesty, neither did I.”

He wanted so desperately to reach for you. His fingers twitched as he fought the instinct to take your hand. He picked at a stray thread on his sweatpants in an effort to occupy his hands. “What made you change your mind?” he asked.

You sighed. “I knew that if I didn’t come tonight I would never see you again, and that was… I don’t want that.”

He hummed low in his throat, desperately trying to quell the hope welling up within him. “I don’t want that either,” he said. He couldn’t bring himself to look you in the eye. He just kept staring at the stray thread on his pants, feeling a little bit like his fingers weren’t his own. “I, um… I said this to Damien earlier, but I guess it’s probably more important that I say it to you. Letting you go was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, Y/N, and if I could go back and change that night I would in an instant.”

There was a long, agonizing moment where you didn’t say anything. He risked a glance up at your face; the silence was unbearable and he needed to get an idea of what you were thinking. Your expression was stony and unreadable. “Please say something,” he whispered. His voice was strained around the tears he was holding back.

“I loved you,” you said. Your face was still utterly unreadable. “I loved you harder and more honestly than I’ve ever loved anybody. And you… you decided that you didn’t want that. That you didn't want me. And Shayne, I wish we lived in a fairytale where everything could just be okay again, where I could just love you again without the past getting in the way, because if we did --” you stopped and took a deep breath. “After you, music became my everything. I worked myself to the fucking bone to get myself where I am, to get myself back to good. And now… now it doesn’t even matter because what the hell is the point of being good if I’m not good with you?”

“I’m sorry,” he said, because he didn’t know what else to say. “I was so utterly idiotic. I was scared and in too deep and I didn’t know what I wanted. I sure as hell didn’t know what I had. But then you were gone and for a while, it was like what the fuck is the point? What am I doing if I don’t get to come home every night and see you? And I thought about calling so many times but I just… I just couldn’t. I was always too fucking scared, and by the time I worked up the courage, I thought it was too late. I thought you would’ve found somebody else.”

At that, you laughed. “I tried,” you said. “I went on so many dates, my friends set me up with so many guys. But none of them were you, and all I’ve ever wanted is you, so how the hell were they supposed to compare? So finally I just stopped going on dates. I told Carly… I told myself, really, that it was because I was so busy with work. That I’d find someone new eventually. And before I knew it, it had been years and I was still alone because there’s nobody like you.”

Now, Shayne did reach for you. He held his hand out, palm up, a clear invitation. You took it without hesitation, and that simple touch was enough to send him spiraling out of his body. “I still love you,” he said. You squeezed his hand.

“I know,” you replied. “I… I don’t think I can say that right now. I think I feel the same way, but the word, saying it out loud… it’s too much. But I have to leave tomorrow and I’d really like to have tonight to hold on to.”

He knew it was a terrible idea. He knew he shouldn’t do it. He’d already let his hopes spiral entirely out of control. He felt like he had finally reached the light at the end of a five-year-long tunnel, and he’d spent so long in the dark that he wasn’t entirely sure what to do with the light. You were still nervous, flighty, like a stray animal; one wrong move and you’d be running for the hills.

But there you were, silhouetted by moonlight and looking at him like you needed him to breathe and Jesus, he was only a man. He wasn’t equipped to deal with the fire spreading slowly from his fingertips to his heart and out into his bloodstream.

“Okay,” he said, and for a moment, nothing happened. The room was still, frozen in time.

And then you both surged forward, desperate, like you needed each other to survive. He maneuvered you up and toward the bedroom, and the door shutting behind you sounded a little like the last nail in the most beautiful coffin ever built.

***

The sound of Shayne’s alarm had never been so wonderful.

He sighed as he rolled over, reaching blindly for you. But where you should’ve been he found only sheets, and they had long gone cold in your absence. Shayne sat bolt upright and looked around the room. Your clothes were gone. You were gone.

He almost crashed onto the floor trying to get himself untangled from his sheets. He pulled on the nearest article of clothing he could find and burst from his bedroom into the living room, heart pounding. You were nowhere to be seen. “No,” he mumbled, over and over until the word lost meaning, eyes scanning his apartment desperately for some sign of you. For a few terrifying seconds, he wondered if the night before had been some kind of vivid fever dream. But that wasn’t possible; the feeling of your skin under his fingertips was far too real, far too tangible. It had to be real.

And yet, the only proof that you’d been there at all was an empty takeout container and a note saying that you would call soon.

[cuecrynsleep]

Revenge With a Side of Kink

AO3 Link

Teasing was a natural element of their relationship. Amanda would fluster Angela, and Angela would do her best to double down. Only did she struggle on that part as it wasn't as easy to fluster Amanda. After constant teasing, and fleeting touches, she swears she'll get revenge on Amanda and make her flustered.

or Amanda has a mommy kink and realizes it in an embarrassing way

Tags: Implied sexual content, Mommy Kink, Kink Discovery, Kissing

Disclaimer: This is not meant to be a representation of those in Smosh, rather a fan made perspective on the characters they portray online. Remain respectful.

Word count: 2,534

Angela was going to exact revenge on Amanda even if it'd kill her. Well, maybe not that far but she was still determined to do so. Amanda was just such a fucking tease, when she could be and the latter needed a break. It's not like Amanda didn't take it too far. She was always careful with the boundaries they talked about, but if she could poke at those boundaries as much as she could, she would. Yet, she'd never take it to a point where it was too far. Something that annoyed Angela even more because of course Amanda was still ever-so caring about her feelings.

With them there could be two things that could be equally true, even if it may seem it'd interfere with each other. Amanda and Angela wouldn't let anything interfere with their work, and they'd find time for other things outside of it, or even during work, in small private moments. Yet, as part of their nature, Amanda and Angela are both very affectionate and teasing people in their own right, so they wouldn't stop something that still existed before the relationship itself. Especially more so when said relationship wasn't exactly made public to the entire world.

There was no actual list regarding their boundaries written out, nor was it talked about in just one conversation. It was a learning process that took place over multiple conversations. Then the mental list of certain boundaries in Angela's head just built over time.

1. Never make a spectacle out of their relationship. It could still be a bit in videos but with limitations.

2. Physical affection is okay but never to the point of blatant PDA that'd earn them a conversation with HR.

3. No sexual jokes or innuendos that hit too close to home when on camera, for everyone to hear and see.

4. Always talk about something that may have happened on camera that was bothersome.

5. Flirting and banter is okay but not to the extent the point of the video is lost.

6. On screen kisses, even if fake or over exaggerated is prompted by a subtle sign only the two know.

7. When off camera, affection is more allowed and open, but don't take it too far to a disgusting degree.

Amanda did a lot to tease her when she knew it wouldn't bother her. Sometimes she'd even do it as a means of making Angela feel better. One time it may be a sneaky hand on her thigh underneath the table, other times it was multiple text messages, in between shoots. What didn't change was that each time Amanda would just have a look on her face. A smile that would scream so much to only her, as if she was challenging her.

Angela wouldn't take that sitting down and she definitely wouldn't let Amanda continue to tease her, days on end, without Angela doing anything. She'll double down and show Amanda she can fluster her too. She just wasn't sure how, because it was hard. It was incredibly hard. She knew she could fluster her, surprise her in many ways, it's just that she rarely, if ever, reacted. She more so expressed how she felt through words and actions, which Angela loved, she just wished she could see it so clearly on Amanda's face.

The thoughts continued to trail on, in the back of her mind, as the work day blurred within itself. Only did she think of having a moment to tease Amanda when she teased her again before a shoot. The feel of her hand under her shirt, against her skin, ingrained in her mind. The action looked like an innocent hand on the waist if anything. She wasn't even sure if Amanda meant to tease her that time. As she had always been touchy, that wasn't exactly new.

-

It was a TNTL video, the fast paced energy was always so infectious. The amount of times all of them had laughed always made those shoots fun. If either Angela or Amanda needed another person for the bit, they’d always naturally ask the other. It was a nice dynamic they had going, always loving the chance to be by the other’s side for bits.

It was finally Amanda's turn in the hot seat, and as usual stuff that'd make Amanda laugh would come naturally to her. It was known at this point that both Amanda and Angela could make the other laugh within seconds. They just understood each other's comedy extremely well, the task itself never turning into a challenge.

Angela, this time around, wanted to catch Amanda off guard. She wanted to be able to surprise or fluster her as much as Amanda tended to fluster Angela. Stirring her out of her train of thought she felt Courtney's hand on her shoulder.

“Do you want to go ahead?” Courtney asked. They already had on a ridiculous costume with a random prop in hand. She could just about hear their words over the rest of the cast mates talking around her.

“You can go ahead,” Angela ushered Courtney forward. She knows she typically goes first whenever Amanda is in the hot seat, but she needed enough time to think of a plan. If not a plan then at least a general idea.

Random inside jokes came to mind as she remembered past TNTLs. Inside jokes weren't uncommon during them, but sometimes cast mates would whisper something to the other, and it'd always be an instantaneous success. Those in Smosh rarely ever did these sorts of bits for TNTL simply because it wouldn't be as enjoyable to the audience. Despite that each time it was practically guaranteed to make the one in the hot seat break. Though she wasn't making Amanda laugh, it still had the same end goal of making her spit out the water. That's all that really mattered to Angela.

She couldn't come up with any ideas on what to say, another cast member going ahead of her. The idea of flustering Amanda or at least catching her off guard enough to spit out the water seemed rather challenging. Plus, Angela didn't want to make Amanda uncomfortable so the idea of referencing any of the stuff they do in bed seemed like a recipe for disaster. It was probably better at this point for Angela to come up with it on the fly. Some of Angela's best bits were improv, and she'd trust in her quick wit to come up with something.

She went after Chanse, stepping away from the barrier and towards Amanda. She smiled as Amanda met her gaze, unable to hide the smirk that reached her cheeks. The moment that Angela was to her side, and not in front of her, or the camera, Amanda knew it wouldn't be like any of the other bits.

"Amanda," Angela whispered in her ear. The hot breath against her skin combined with the raspy tone of Angela's voice made Amanda stiffen. Her tennis shoes hit against the stool, once, twice, the action repeating again.

Amanda hummed in response, glancing at Angela as she continued to face the camera. She could hardly trust what Angela was about to say, especially if she whispered it.

Angela lightly put a hand on her shoulder, making Amanda grip her pants. She could only sit there in anticipation, hanging onto every word that would fall from her mouth.

"How does it feel to be on the other end of this?" She asked. Amanda hummed in confusion, the water still in her mouth, as she looked at Angela. "I think you might have a humiliation kink we need to talk about after work." She silently noted, in a teasing voice, as Angela eyed Amanda for her reaction. Her eyes did bug out and her hand reached to her mouth, like she was about to spit it out. She was caught off guard but it was obvious she was adamant in not letting Angela win this.

Angela's brain racked for any ideas, holding off on referencing any of the stuff they actually did in bed. That was private and definitely not something she wanted to tease about whilst on camera, even if no one could hear them. Suddenly, prior shoots and characters Amanda played came to mind. Many of which gave off ‘mommy energy’ or some version of a dominating character. That mini tidbit always gave Angela way too many feelings and thoughts when she watched Smosh videos.

Amanda had never mentioned being into it once, and she was always extremely transparent with Angela. Rather than making her not laugh it was more so a challenge of catching her off guard.

With a smirk Angela leaned closer into her ear, if that were even possible. “I’m sorry, Mommy.” She whispered into Amanda’s ear, making the moment seem intimate, as Angela felt slightly flustered. If this backfired against her she wouldn’t exactly be surprised.

Amanda’s reaction was instantaneous as she turned wide eyed, water starting to trickle out of her mouth, before she entirely spat it out onto the floor. She turned towards Angela, leaning her head back as she looked at her. “What the hell?” She sputtered. “You can’t just- why- no,” she said, stumbling over her words. She was both flustered and caught off guard, an unfamiliar color reaching her cheeks as she looked at Angela.

Angela gave her a brief pointed look, discerning whether or not she crossed a line with her turn. She had expected Amanda to react like that, but less so on the point of stumbling over her words, with one of them being ‘no.’ She didn’t exactly have the time nor moment to voice out her concern. A moment of silent communication crossed through both their eyes as Amanda made sure to tell her she hadn’t crossed a line. That’s really all Angela cared about at that moment.

She got off the TNTL stage, letting Tommy have his turn. She could only push the likely inevitable conversation aside, expecting it to come up later after work was done. The moment the shoot was finished, as they filmed the outro, Angela felt Amanda's hand on her wrist. She was definitely impatient and antsy. Yet, she had to wait as the two had a brief conversation with the rest of the cast, naturally bidding their goodbye.

The rest of the way, Amanda held her hand, naturally guiding her out of the Smosh office and toward the parking lot.

“Are you sure I didn’t cross any line?” Angela asked, glancing at her girlfriend.

Amanda squeezed her hand lovingly. “You’re fine, Ange,” she said. “I promise.” She was obviously withholding information, and was most likely to break the moment they were alone.

Angela frowned, getting out her keys as she opened the car door, unlocking the passenger door with it. The two tend to take turns taking the other to work sometimes, the unspoken agreement saving gas money if anything.

“So what did your reaction mean?” She tried, not even turning on the engine yet, as she looked at Amanda.

A beat of silence passed between them as Amanda simply waited. A tentative hand on Amanda's thigh seemed to seal the deal. She rolled her eyes, before pulling Angela closer by the collar. She put her mouth against Angela's ear, letting the confession drip off her tongue. “Angela, sweetie, I was turned on."

Angela slowly blinked. "What? Wait, what?"

Amanda pulled back with a light chuckle, satisfied to let it end there as she properly sat on the passenger seat. Never the one to give up, Angela leaned in closer, her hand resting against the dashboard as she propped herself up.

"So, Mommy, huh?" She teased with a light smirk, knowing full well she was pushing at Amanda's buttons. It felt nice to see the difference in what was their typical normal. To watch as Amanda gulped, sucked in her lips, her grip tightening on the chair.

Oh. She was really affected by it.

"Mommy," she teased again, receiving a glare from Amanda. "Are you okay?" She asked, leaning closer, as if she was fighting fire with fire. "How are you feeling?" She whispered this time, watching as Amanda lost her composure.

With every passing second, the tension rises before Amanda leaned in closer, pulling Angela in. She kissed her lightly, smiling into the kiss as Angela returned it feverishly. One thing led to another and the tension from all of their teasing hit its peak. A simple kiss, turned into a few pecks, which only progressed further.

A hand trailed down to the small of Angela’s back prodding her closer. Amanda lightly nipped against her bottom lip, watching as Angela’s half-lidded eyes closed in pleasure. Her tentative thumb brushed past her jaw, trailing down her neck, resting at Angela's nape.

Leaning forward, Angela climbed over the console, letting herself be pulled in closer by Amanda. She ignored the pain and awkwardness that it took to sit on top of her, silently thanking her car for having dark tinted windows. She found herself returning the kiss, their noses bumping against each other. Hands pulled at clothing, slipping underneath articles, but never once pushing closer to take it all off.

Angela found comfort in Amanda's hair, pulling it out of the ponytail, as she tugged at a few of the strands. She haphazardly moved around to get comfortable, her knee resting in between Amanda's thighs. A breathy moan and gasp came out of her lips, as Angela pushed further.

The first to pull away was Amanda, lightly pushing Angela off. The latter rested her head against her shoulder, catching her breath. "Shit," she cursed. "I'm sorry, I got ahead of myself." Angela apologized, smiling as Amanda's hands still had a hold on her waist.

"I did too," Amanda smiled, turning her head to kiss her cheek. "Also, don't call me mommy during work." She said lightly, chucking as Angela rolled her eyes.

She got off of Amanda, settling back into the driver's seat. They both took a moment to gather themselves, pushing the many dirty thoughts aside. The last thing they were doing today was have sex in the parking lot.

"Yeah, it wasn't a part of my plan, anyway." Angela paused, easing herself back into a sense of normalcy. "Did you always know you had a mommy kink?"

"God, no," Amanda huffed. "I can't believe me finding it out will eventually be on YouTube." For once, Angela fared far better than Amanda with the latter needing to squeeze her thighs at the uncomfortable feeling.

"Yeah, maybe TNTL wasn't my smartest idea." Angela thought aloud. "If it makes you uncomfortable I'll just ask the editors to cut it out. We can come up with a bullshit excuse and just reflim a bit if they need it.”

She smiled lightly. “I’ll check in with the editors and see the footage tomorrow.” She paused in thought, as Angela started her car. “Wait, what prompted this in the first place?”

“Oh, I just wanted to get revenge on you for all of your teasing.” She sent a look Amanda’s way before she backed out of the parking lot. “I think it’s safe to say I succeeded.”

[frogocado]

when the party’s over (Smosh imagine)

you’re shayne’s ex. the only positive thing it gained was your friendship with courtney. after a bad break up you and Courtney decide a masked Halloween party at Shayne’s house would be the perfect time for you to leave him a letter for closure.

I know it’s past Halloween, but it’s always Halloween in my heart. Inspired by my ex dumping me in a text and then inviting my best friend to a Halloween party!! This is 2.6k words and contains angst and mentions of alcohol. 

That big, dumb, handsome, blonde idiot had ruined everything.

When Shayne had broken up with you in a text, you had screenshot everything and sent it Courtney’s way, not knowing how to say it any other way. She had stormed onto set and confronted Shayne so boldly, they asked her to leave for the day. You had been riddled with guilt, but Courtney showed up at your apartment with pints of ice cream and girl power movies, insisting things would be okay. 

You thought of all the times you had driven the streets to Shayne’s house, finding that numerous stores had switched over in the recent months since you were last at his place. Courtney hummed along to the music playing in her car, gloved fingers drumming on the steering wheel. You smiled at her, glad for the darkness that enshrouded you whenever too far from a streetlight. Despite everything, she was always such a good friend to you and Shayne both.

As you pulled up to his house, you could already see activity inside. Shayne had placed fake candles in the windows and, even upstairs, you could see silhouettes of people in costumes wandering. Courtney pulled her keys from the ignition and you still hadn’t moved, looking towards the front door. The last time you were there, you had watched a movie and eaten takeout on his couch soon after the Defy shutdown. A day later, he had sent you a text to break up with you.

“Ready whenever you are, Y/N,” Courtney said gently, pulling you from your thoughts.

“I’m just worried about what he’ll say to you if he finds out I’m here.”

Courtney shrugged as she considered this, teeth pulling on her bottom lip. “Would you tell him I brought you?” When you shook your head, her features brightened again. “So it’s fine. Just keep your mask on.” She tossed the Spiderman mask you had discarded into the backseat. 

This had been your idea, after all. It would be silly to back out now. You pulled the mask on, already regretting something so tight around your face. You were anxious enough and knowing the spandex would hold whatever perspiration you’d have against your face was enough to make you want to stay in the car the whole evening. But when you turned to Courtney, she was giving you a small, encouraging smile.

You knew how this had to look to her, despite all of her agreements and giggles about the plan you had hatched in her apartment a week before. You and Shayne hadn’t talked since he had broken up with you and there was so much left unsaid. You had written him a letter with everything you had wanted to say, hiding it in the waistband of your costume. The plan was to drink, see a few of Courtney’s friends, slip the note into the book he was reading on his bedside table, and get out before he knew what was happening.

Courtney didn’t open her door until you were out of the car, as if she thought you might dive back into the backseat and demand she take you home. “It’ll be fine,” she assured you as she put her arm around you, guiding you to the door.

She rang the door bell and you counted how long it took until Shayne got to the door. He opened it, grinning between your disguise and his friend. He was wearing a white toga and a golden laurel around the back of his head, his muscles painted a wash of egg shell white. He was dressed as a Greek statue, you realized. How fitting. “You made it! And you brought your plus one? Who’s this again?”

“Spiderman,” Courtney answered for you. “Thought it was obvious that I’m Emma Stone as MJ.” You dumbly offered a hand to your ex boyfriend who gently shook it in return. The urge to slip his fingers to interlock with yours made your heart jump. This was a dumb idea. You were happy for the mask to hide the emotion on your face.

Shayne chatted with Courtney as he welcomed the two of you inside. He was questioning your matching costumes, asking her if she thought dying her hair a ginger brown was just an excuse to dress up as every actress and fictional character she’s ever had a crush on. The house was decorated with orange string lights from the ceiling, bat garland swaying in the breeze of people dancing in the living room. It wasn’t like Shayne to decorate his minimalist castle with anything but a few plants and a patterned rug. “Would your friend like a tour, or—?“ Shayne’s question died in the air as you navigated around people, making your familiar way into the kitchen.

There was a large buffet table set up with various Halloween treats scattered across it. Bat shaped cookies, peeled grapes disguised as eyeballs floating in a blood red punch bowl, marshmallows on skewers to look like ghosts, gummy worms in Oreo pudding dirt cups…. None of this was Shayne. You were even impressed by the alcohol selection. People were slipping away from his bar cart with green, sparkling cocktails in martini glasses or drinks that resembled purple potions bubbling in mule mugs.

As you felt yourself begin to reel, you felt a gentle hand on the middle of your back. You spun, meeting Courtney’s concerned look. “Lost you there for a minute, Spidey,” she gave you a sheepish grin.

You stepped closer to her, cupping a hand over your mouth as you whispered into her ear. “Since when is Shayne into decorating?”

Your friend shrugged, squeezing your shoulders. “It’s been a weird few months, dude. Let me get you a drink.” Before you could protest, she slipped away from you and you found yourself too lost in the mob of noise and music and people. You were in such a familiar place and everything felt brand new and fresh, a place without any memory or acknowledgement of you.

You waited a few more seconds for Courtney before you peaked over guests’ heads to find that she was happily chatting and giggling with the girl that was making the drinks. Someone bumped into your shoulder and your attention turned to them instead. “Oh no, I’m so sorry, uh… Spiderman,” Damien said, putting the mugs he was juggling down on the table near you two. He was wearing a dark blue sports coat and a black and white mask over his eyes.

“S’okay,” your automatic response tumbled out before you could think of your disguise. He didn’t seem to recognize your voice underneath your mask and you chewed your lip, knowing that it was just pure luck that you hadn’t been found out.

“I’m Damien. It seemed rude to not introduce myself in front of a superhero.” He gave you a big, goofy grin so adorable you could feel your own cheeks stretching into a smile for the first time that evening. You considered he wouldn’t be responding the same way if he knew it was his best friend’s ex and the realization of anonymity made the whole situation so much sillier.

When you and Shayne were dating, Damien would often tag along on any hang out that wasn’t exclusively romantic. You had never spent any time with him one on one and would often only see him by himself if he was leaving Shayne’s house and you were heading in or visa versa. You recalled Damien heading into Shayne’s house the night before he broke up with you and for months, you had wondered if he ever known, if Shayne had confessed to him his desire to leave.

You didn’t realize there was a stretch between when Damien had finished introducing himself and your lack of response until Courtney reappeared at your side. “Here, Spidey, I got you an elixir.” She wiggled her eyebrows playfully towards you, head tipped low. Always the dramatic. You rolled the very bottom of your mask up to reveal your mouth and chin and happily took the beverage out of her hand.

“Who is that in there?” Damien asked, squinting and inspecting your face.

Courtney protectively slung an arm around your shoulder. “I thought you were a nerd, Damien; you know who Peter Parker is.”

Damien rolled his eyes and Shayne was pushing his way through guests, heading right for you. “Peter Parker does not have a mouth like that,” Damien continued. “Right?” He turned to Shayne, who was grinning at the girl making drinks for everyone.

Shayne snaked his way over and began to giggle. “How do you know what Peter Parker’s mouth looks like?” He asked before sliding away again.

Courtney and Damien continued to prod at each other playfully over your mysterious identity, but you were watching Shayne now. He embraced the girl at the bar cart and you felt your stomach twist as he rest his cheek on the top of her matted black wig. She was only as tall as his shoulder and you remembered the way he’d rest his head on your shoulder during a movie or just because, always murmuring about how you were the perfect height for him to feel safe. You found yourself drifting away from Courtney again and, as you pushed through some of Shayne’s cast mates and friends, you noticed the bar girl’s hands clutching the waist of Shayne’s toga like he was the mast of a rocking ship.

Your feet were carrying you upstairs before you could stop them, the image you just took in stark in your mind. The sound seemed to fall away from the wooden floor and carpet separating the two floors and you sighed in relief as you found the landing empty of people. Your hand traced the wall as you entered his bedroom, gazing around.

This was the Shayne you remembered—books on every surface that could hold them, a black comforter over white pillows and sheets, clothes hung neatly in the closet. Your eyes traveled to his desk where a small makeup bag sat on top of a novel you had given him when you first started dating. You sat in the desk chair, looking at your reflection of a beauty mirror propped on the table and against the wall.

You tugged the rest of your mask off and drank half of your drink in one go. It was delicious. Of course it was. He had a new partner and she was perfect and he didn’t need you poking back into his business again. With shaking fingers, you pulled the letter out from your costume and unfolded it, your eyes blurry with tears as you tried to trace over the words you had written. You felt like such a jerk.

“Shayne? Buddy?” Damien’s voice was suddenly on the landing of the stairs. You jumped and began to quickly refold the letter, but it was already too late. The floor seemed to sigh as Damien entered and you could see his reflection gazing at you from the mirror on the desk. “Y/N?”

You wiped at your eyes quickly and pulled your mask on. Your skin was already beginning to itch and irritate from the wetness on your cheeks. “No, I’m Spiderman,” you said lamely.

To your surprise, Damien sat down on the floor beside the desk, eyes tracing over your costume. “Figured it was you,” he admitted in a low tone. “Recognized ya’. Don’t need the mask anymore, Y/N.”

“Only my mouth was showing when you saw me,” you protested, shaking your head. A blush was beginning to cross over his features as he offered a trace of a smile.

it isn’t that I don’t love you. I think part of me is scared that some other people around you might love you a little bit more. you made me feel like I was enough, like I could be better. I want to be better for me now. You deserve someone who sees you for you. We’re two different people. That works in friendships but not in relationships. I’m sorry.

Recalling a snippet of the text Shayne had sent you led you into another memory, one of Shayne and Damien getting into a heated discussion one day the three of you had planned to hang out. You had heard the two of them arguing as you turned off your car in Shayne’s driveway and all of the noise stopped as your door closed and you locked them, as if the mechanical sounds were pulling them out of it. Damien had exited Shayne’s house before you were even at the door. He gave you a look that wasn’t exactly a smile and had whispered some unintelligible apology about having to leave right away, that he’d see you another time.

The silence settled around the two of you for a second time that evening and you nodded your head toward the makeup bag. “New girlfriend, huh?”

“I don’t know, not really.” Damien shrugged, looking away. “They never stay for too long and he always winds up yelling, so…” his words drifted and you were nodding slowly, still stuck between running out again or staying put. “What about you?”

You laughed in response and he grinned, though it seemed every action was causing him a great deal of pain. “I’m sorry you got dumped,” he said.

You shook your head. “You didn’t do the actions, Damien.”

“Yeah, but…” He looked like there was something he wanted to say but when your masked eyes landed on his, you could see the words getting stuck in his throat. You pulled your mask off, thinking that might help his words come a little easier. Instead, he gave a small laugh, a rumble that seemed to hurt him further as it rose from his chest. “Y/N, I recognized you by your mouth and Shayne has no idea…” His hand was rising as if it was going to rest on your cheek, but he just shuffled his hair again.

You finished the rest of your drink and then turned to him, watching him watch you. “Can I hug you?” You asked, feeling stupid and sad about everything.

He nodded almost immediately and before he could move or stand, you were down on the floor with him, holding his chest against your own. “Oh, you’re…you’re right there then, huh?” He stammered. His arms enveloped you lightly, as if he was surprised by the movement and the contact. After a beat, they closed tighter, his hands clutching at his opposite arm. You sat together for what felt like a minute before you both untangled at the same time, both sighing with content relief when you broke apart.

You tugged the folded paper out again and looked down on it, watching Damien’s chest rise and fall. “What’s that?” He asked in a whisper.

You unfolded it partially before you tore it to pieces, tossing it into the waste basket by the desk. “I was going to leave a really mean note for Shayne to find after the party. I came to destroy him,” you admitted, pulling your body off the floor to stand again.

“That’s actually… really impressive. You’re a devil,” Damien shook his head in what seemed to be dumb amazement, grinning at you. “Are you leaving?”

You collected your mask off of the desk and nodded. “I think I made a mistake.”

“I think he did, too,” Damien rose as you began to leave. You paused, turning back to him again. “And so did I,” he said gently, as if it were a confession. You didn’t know what to say so you pulled your mask on instead.

“Bye, Damien.”

“Wait, Y/N,” Damien followed after you, back onto the stairwell landing. Shayne’s voice was filling the living room below you. “Think I might see you again? You know, like, when the party’s over?”

You hummed at the question and grinned, despite the mask. “We’ll see.”

[stinky-and-the-pain]

& then there was one

my parents finished renovating our house my freshman year of high school. i was 14 and finally had my own room...a place i didn’t have to share with my 11 year old brother or my 3 year old sister. i painted it green & a couple of months later painted a tree on one wall and filled the branches with lord of the rings quotes. it was my sanctuary. 

my grandma gifted me my first laptop around the same time. she won it in a company sweepstakes and gave it to me because she had one already. it was the coolest thing. we had a family computer in the office (nee playroom) that i had played both sims 2 and 3 on. but now i could take the sims to my room! 

amongst other things. 

i played skyrim religiously after my brother got bored of the xbox, as he was also gifted a playstation 4 along with GTA V. i also adored several creators on youtube, at that time a bastion of comedic skits and random tangential clips lasting no more than 6 minutes or so. i felt deeply invested in the community -- not so much with fellow audience members but with the youtubers themselves; as if these videos were a two-way conversation. shane dawson led to desandnate led to smosh led to kalel cullen led tobuscus led to pewdiepie led to cryaotic, etc., etc. they were great! 

forget the boy bands of the 90s and early 2000s....which youtuber did you want to date? SMASH + fuck, marry, kill in the back of the chilly and damp bus driving home from a scholastic bowl meet. my heart ached for these people. they appealed so deeply to me and i fell madly in love with them all. and i wasn’t alone; we all fell in love. 

i’m not sure how i found out about omegle. at a slumber party or birthday, someone pulled out their laptop & we could see and chat with strangers. live. no supervision. we were...14? 15? had to be 14 because i succinctly remember laughing a while later when i told a grown man i wasn’t 18 but actually 14 after he had finished for me. all while sitting in my new green bedroom. 

for the longest damn time i thought i had an extremely average adolescence. i was lauded as independent and mature, and took pride in that. maturity meant i was better but also inherently prepared for what life was throwing at me. plus independence meant that i could effectively do whatever i pleased. and to that extent, i never attended a party (though i did sneak over to a boy’s house when i said i was going to a friends’ but that was later figured out and actually excused) but i pursued other exploits. 

another piece of the puzzle is that youtube around 2010 appealed to people exactly my age. and was simultaneously extremely sexual. the mass cancellation of shane dawson is ultimately rooted in his behavior around this time. and this behavior was broadcast to us, 12-14 years old, which signaled to us what could be deemed appropriate. queue me believing that men around the ages of 19-25 could find me, a barely there 14 year old, attractive. and boy did i run with that. 

i spent immeasurable time on omegle. it was thrilling, especially when men’s faces would light up as my video appeared. “finally, a real person and not just a dick!” i remember one, zach herzog (sp?). he was so kind, introducing me to imgur which rounded out my early internet diet. he had a girlfriend but at one point admitted to me that she was not as pretty as i was. we would message on kik for hours. he graduated college a year after we met (my junior year of high school). jake was around that time too. but honestly jake was special in that we met through omegle chat (no video). and we actually chatted for about 3 years, at one time making sure to watch the weekly game of thrones episode (freshly downloaded off pirate bay) together and discussing what went down afterwards. after we skyped with video on, we slowly stopped communicating. 

another, stephen i believe. he was from the UK and i only remember that because of his accent and that i had him say my (fake) name multiple times. i never once used my real name nor talked aloud to these men. always text. but does that matter? over skype, he would send videos of himself jacking off...which would have been pleasant save for the fact he liked smacking his penis near the end and i couldn’t take that seriously. 

the first man i reciprocated for -- that is, i obliged requests to show parts of my body -- was sam. i don’t remember anything too striking about him save he did his business to me while we were still on omegle (only strange because the fashion then was to move to somewhere more ‘private’ and stable like kik or skype) and then promptly ghosted me. somewhere in my hs junior year planner, there are notes to sam asking him if he would ever come back. 

then senior year. so stressed with college applications (i applied to one school) i spent most of my time in my bedroom alone, indulging in a healthy diet of top gear and youtube, by this point dominated by cryaotic and pewdiepie. but i always had time for my dear favorite, capndesdes (of desandnate fame who later made his own solo channel where he published several q&a’s and apartment vlogs). october 2013 and i was wearing his blue ‘crescent moon face’ shirt (referencing the photo booth video). i met Anthony, Mike, and David on omegle. i immediately picked out Anthony and sure enough he was interested. him being in a group, i knew we wouldn’t be doing anything that night but the video chat was fun. the connection even died at one point but we got back in contact as i had shared my twitter (and my real name, though for months he believed my fake name was my middle name because i felt bad telling the truth). i guess i should’ve known this time was different when he insisted on skying the next morning before i went to work. i felt embarrassed for how i looked but he said i looked beautiful. and was so earnest i had to believe him. 

we skyped everyday. every day. essentially right as i got home from school because that’s conveniently when he got off work. oh and i eventually had to admit that my microphone was not in fact broken. we played minecraft and gta on the xbox. he said he planned to visit me one day. but that’s absurd, right? i would laugh and say ‘you’re too much.’

he visited november 9 2013. drove all the way up. i was at my friend’s birthday party. we had just woken up and he revealed he was in our town. i gave him directions to the park so we could meet. i remember running to him from my car, friends sitting in the back seat. we walked about two miles around the park, chatting. he was even more beautiful in person. the sight of the freckles on his nose are still so vivid. even after all these years remembering, my naiveté still strikes me. a day later, he asked me to be my girlfriend as we walked to his car after dinner. i said yes, that i would do him the honor of making him the happiest man on earth. a day later, he took (but i also gave) away my virginity. he met my friends and then we said goodbye on a rainy and cold afternoon. i still sometimes smell the sweet mustiness of that room. 

a handful of memories that are still striking after 7 years:

washing the strawberry lube off myself in my parent’s bathroom, praying they did not ask why i had spent the last 5 afternoons and evenings staying so late at a friend’s house; forcing myself to connect to Lorde’s music after he said he enjoyed her first album; saying that thin mints were my favorite after he admitted to buying too many; taking my adventure time backpack to the hotel room and filling out my cheatsheet for my physics test the next day while he watched and eventually rolled me over to kiss me; feeling too insecure to lead him around town so instead opted to stay silent as he chose what to have for dinner; eating at my favorite local mexican restaurant after losing my virginity; showing my friends the pictures we had taken in the hotel room and them losing their minds. 

after he left, i was devastated. and essentially remained devastated for the next 7 months. i cried the morning after he left, while driving to work and listening to ribs. 

there’ll be more, when i have strength.