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ourtearsofrain · 5 months ago

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All Of Me (J.M.K/O.C) (Save a Horse Universe)

Summary: As their relationship develops, Austin knows that he needs to tell Josh a key aspect of his identity; but every time he tries, his nerves take over, afraid of losing him. He’s finally “forced” into the perfect opportunity as Josh gets handsy after their date, pushing aside his fears to tell him.

Pairings: Josh Kiszka x Male O.C.

Genre: angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, smut

Word Count: 6k

Warnings: discussions of negative experiences with past partners in relation to gender identity, brief explanation of biological sex anatomy from a trans man, crying, smoking/drinking wine, oral (M receiving), vaginal penetration (wrap it before you tap it), fingering, praise

A/N: This new addition to the SAHRAC Uni takes place fairly early on into their relationship, so a little after Salty Dogs, Anyone? (That being said, this is a fic within an established universe, so it definitely helps if you read at least Ride a Cowboy and Salty Dogs, Anyone? beforehand)

I wanted to wrap pride month up with this, I hope everyone had a very good, very gay June. Remember the first pride was a riot, led by trans women of color; trans people are and have always been a core pillar of our history in the fight for equal rights.

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“Good afternoon, darlin’.”

“Hey baby, how are you?” Austin closes his front door behind himself, clicking the lock into place as he resists the urge to grin at the pet name. Even after having been “official” for nearly two weeks, he still got butterflies at each little name Josh had bestowed upon him.

He slots his hand into Josh’s before offering him a ‘hello’ kiss, beginning their short walk towards the Saturday Market that they never missed. “Been doin’ alright. Doin’ even better now. How about you?”

“I’m good, and excited. I can’t wait to show you how to make that Basil and Pesto Pasta recipe. I swear to god, it’s the best thing you’ll ever eat.”

Austin cocks an eyebrow at him, amused at his enthusiasm and continuous claims of just how good this dish was. “Is that a promise?”

“You fucking bet it is. If you don’t like it, then… ok, I’m not exactly sure what’ll happen if you don’t, but that doesn’t matter cause you’re gonna love it.”

“Mhm, right. So, what do we needa get for it today?”

“Uhhh hold on,” Josh pats his pockets frantically, shifting through everything he kept shoved in each until he pulls out a tattered scrap of paper. “We’ll need some fresh basil and asparagus, and maybe a fresh lemon and bunch of garlic. Hopefully that pasta vendor is set up, we need linguine too. The rest of the ingredients I already have, so that should do it.”

He slips the paper back into his pocket as the market comes into view, the vendors set up along the edge close enough that the smell of their fresh produce and baked goods wafted towards the men as they crossed the street. “Sounds fantastic already, darlin’. Great choice for a late lunch.”

“I know right! It’s amazing, you’ll see.”

“Lotta big talk from you, Kiszka; you’re playin’ a dangerous game by raisin’ my expectations like this.”

“Only talking it up cause I know you’ll love it. I’d like to think that I know you very well, Austin. If I do say so myself.”

Don’t know everything about me… Austin rubs at the back of his neck nervously, his eyes finding the ground. “I actually wanted to talk to you about somethin’-”

“Oh. My. God.”

Austin’s mind races at Josh’s reaction, completely uncaring that he had cut off what he wanted to be a serious conversation as he looks around them for whatever could have caused his interruption. “What?!”

Instead of responding, Josh darts away from Austin, headed straight for a flower stand as he barely even glances back in his eagerness. Finding his side, Austin quickly realizes exactly what had gotten Josh so excited as he picks up a bunch of daffodils, turning towards him with a lopsided grin full of nothing but love. “Your favorite, right?”

Oh my lord. How is one man so goddamn sweet? Austin’s slight frustration that had begun to grow completely melts away as Josh looks between him and the flowers, looking over each to make sure there were no imperfections or wilted petals. “It is, darlin’. You remembered?”

“Of course I did, wanted to know what flowers you liked so I can get them for you.”

Austin’s cheeks tint pink under Josh’s gaze, suddenly growing bashful. “You don’t have to…”

“I want to. No one ever get you flowers before?”

“Not that I can think of.”

“Well, I’m changing that.” Josh leaves him before he can respond, quickly making his way over to the vendor and paying for the bundle as Austin can do nothing but watch him in awe. “These are for you.” He offers him that same grin as he hands them to Austin, his cheeks tinting in the soft midday light.

“You didn’t have to… but thank you, darlin’.”

“Of course. Now, I believe we are on a mission, although I will inevitably get sidetracked. Help me stay focused?”

“Sir yes sir.” Austin offers a weak salute as best he can with the hand holding the flowers, his other hand once again in Josh’s as they set off to find the ingredients they needed for their meal.

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“So, I’m gonna be honest, most of the ingredients were originally in grams so my recipe is a conversion, and more based on how much of something feels right.”

“I bake more than cook so imma letcha take the lead for this one, sound good?”

“Mhm. Don’t worry, I’m the oldest of 4, I’m good at bossing people around.”

Austin barks out a laugh as they set in on preparing the ingredients, Josh barely sparing a glance at his recipe as he had made the dish so many times that he nearly had it committed to memory, while Austin trails behind him waiting for instruction. It doesn’t take too long for them to finish, both men serving themselves up plates before meeting at Josh’s dinner table. Josh props his head up with his hands under his chin, eyes glued to Austin as he waits for him to try the fruit of their labors.

As Austin brings the forkful of pasta to his mouth and takes the first bite, Josh’s eyes go wide, his eyebrows slightly raising as he meets his gaze. “Oh-”

“Oh???”

“This is… this is fuckin’ fantastic. Holy shit, darlin’, you weren’t kiddin’.” Austin takes another large bite, having spent so much of his day devoted to cooking that he had forgotten to eat much else.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Amazing. See, I told you.” Josh grins wide at him before setting in on his own plate, both falling into a comfortable silence as they eat. When they finish, they work together to clean up their mess; all the while, Austin’s mind circles the conversation he had tried to have with Josh earlier, knowing that their time together would come to an end soon. Just as he’s thought he found the perfect way to bring it up, Josh’s voice captures his attention from the fridge as he cleans the last pan.

“Oh my god, I completely forgot. I got us a white wine to go with the pesto pasta. I guess I was so excited to make it that I overlooked it when grabbing ingredients.”

A small frown passes over Josh’s face as Austin dries his hands and meets him, taking the bottle from him to set it on the counter. “Aw, that’s alright, darlin’. I mean, it is almost five and I don’t have any other plans for the day. I can always stay here; we can watch a movie and crack this open.”

“Really?” His face lights up at the offer, already looking around to find a wine corkscrew and glasses.

“Of course. Is Jacob home though?”

“No, he’s at Sebastian’s. Why?” A mischievous look passes over his face as he glances over at Austin, his hands pausing on their way to the wine glasses stashed in the cupboard.

“Get your mind outta the gutter, Joshua.” Swatting him lightly, he finds the corkscrew and sets in on uncorking the bottle. “I was just askin’ cause I didn’t wanna disrupt him by watchin’ somethin’ in the livin’ room if he wanted to make dinner or have Sebastian over.”

“Mhmmm, right. That’s what they all say. But yeah, Jake spends most nights at Seb’s now, so I have the place to myself a lot of the time. No complaints here, I’d rather have them subject Sebastian’s neighbors to the sound of their… fun… instead of having to hear it myself.”

As he laughs lightly, anxiety creeps into his mind as Josh pours them both a glass before handing it to him and pulling him in the direction of the living room. “By the way, uh… I know we haven’t- we haven’t had like, sex sex. Like, you know we’ve had our fun, but we haven’t… gone all the way. Is that ok? I mean we have been together for like two weeks, and I know most people our age have- have done that with their partner by that mark.”

“Of course it is. I love sex, but I don’t want to do anything until you do. No pressure, ever. I’ll wait as long as you need, baby.” He offers one reassuring squeeze to his hand as they sit down on a couch before bringing his attention to the screen. “Alright, what movie we watching?”

“You’re gonna suggest Dirty Dancin’, aren’t you?”

“You know me so well. But we don’t have to if you’d prefer something else.”

“No, no, we can watch it, darlin’. Since you bought me flowers and cooked an amazing dinner for us, it’s your night to choose.”

“You’re the best.” Josh presses a kiss to his cheek before snuggling into his side, quickly queuing up Dirty Dancing as they both get comfortable.

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An hour and 30 minutes and half a bottle of wine later, both men watch the end credits roll as they giggle through their conversation, their cheeks red and bodies warm from the alcohol in their systems. “No, we are not tryin’ the Dirty Dancin’ lift.” Austin laughs out, trying his best to keep both his and Josh’s glasses from spilling. “Maybe when we haven’t gone through half a bottle of wine in barely over an hour. I don’t wanna drop you, darlin’.”

“Who say’s I’d be the one getting lifted?”

“You cannot lift me, I’m sorry but that ain’t happenin’.”

Josh frowns at his words, seemingly genuine disappointment washing across his features as he sets his wine glass down. “Why not?”

“Because for starters, I’m 5 inches taller’n you. And I weigh more than you. And like I said, we’ve had some wine.” Austin follows suit, setting his glass down before tucking himself back into the couch with Josh’s body pressed against his.

“So, you’re drunk?”

“I am not drunk, thank you very much. Tipsy, maybe. Not drunk though. You however…”

“Woah, woah, woah! I’m not drunk either! Like you said, tipsy, not drunk.”

“Right, sure.” Austin grins down at him, letting himself take in his gorgeous features in the dim lighting, his pupils blown wide as he looks up at him. “Why does it matter if you’re drunk or not?”

“Because I want to kiss you. And I want you to know that it’s consensual on my part, despite the little bit of wine. As long as it’s the same for you.” Something Austin can’t quite distinguish lurks under Josh’s tone, his voice low and calm as he blinks up at him. Austin’s breath hitches at the clear communication, not used to having a partner be so upfront about topics such as these.

“It’s the same for me, darlin’. I want to kiss you too.” Before he can say anything more, Josh leans forward to connect their lips in a hungry, passionate kiss, drinking Austin up as if he were dying of thirst. Losing themselves in each other, Austin doesn’t realize how quickly their kiss had become a heated make out session until Josh straddles him, slightly grinding the tent in his pants into Austin’s lower stomach. Fuck. I want to, he just- he doesn’t know. He might not want to have sex right now right now. Don’t jump the gun, just wait and see what happens.

Austin’s heart rate speeds as Josh’s hands find his sides, squeezing his body through the fabric before slipping them under his shirt, his warm hands ghosting across his skin. This is fine, it’s alright. Enjoy it, see what happens. Trying to stay focused on the moment and not wanting his own thoughts to distract him from enjoying himself, Austin tries to push his worries to the back of his mind as Josh’s fingertips trace the waistband of his boxers, toying with the hem. It isn’t until he dips the fingers of his right hand down into his boxers lower, beginning to brush the hair at the very bottom of his happy trail that Austin freezes, his body taking over in his panic.

“Stop.”

At the word, Josh immediately pulls his hand back before leaning away from him to create some distance between the two. “I’m sorry.” His face heats with shame as he moves to sit next to him hurriedly, his eyes looking everywhere but at Austin. “I should have asked, especially after our conversation earlier. I just got lost in the moment, but that’s no excuse.”

“I didn’t stop you because I don’t want to have sex with you, Josh.” Austin’s voice breaks slightly, causing Josh to tear his gaze towards him, his expression twisted with confusion.

“Then why-?”

Rip the band-aid off, Austin. Now or never. “I stopped you because I haven’t told you everything about myself, and I need to tell you before we take this any further.”

“What’s up, baby? You can tell me anything.” His eyebrows furrow in concern as he takes Austin’s hands in his own, his worry only growing as he tries to meet his eyes only to find them brimming with tears.

Austin finally meets his eyes, adrenaline coursing through his body as he takes a deep breath. “I’m trans, Josh. I’m a trans man. I wanted to tell you sooner, I was just worried. I know it’s unfair for me to spring this on you now when we’ve already been together for a bit, so if you- if you don’t want this now, us, I understand completely. Tell me to leave and I will. But I needed you to know I haven’t been puttin’ out because I don’t want to have sex with you, believe me, I do; I just- I’ve had top surgery, but not bottom, and I don’t plan to. Everythin’ you may have felt is just a packer, I just- I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“Why would I not want to be with you anymore, Austin?” Josh doesn’t even miss a beat, his tone serious and quiet as he looks at him with sadness beneath his eyes.

“Because we haven’t really talked about what you identify as. It hasn’t been important, cause you and everyone else thought I was a cis man. I was blessed with bein’ tall, havin’ a small chest and more masculine features already, and I’ve been on T for nearin’ three years, so it ain’t like it’s ‘obvious’. If you have a preference for people with penises, I need you to know that that ain’t me. So, if you do, I won’t take it personally if you’d like to end this.”

“Do you want to end this?”

Austin blinks back tears, praying that Josh would give him some sign, any sign about what he was feeling. “No.”

“Then I don’t either.”

“You don’t?”

“Of course not. Austin, I don’t care that you’re trans.” Josh catches himself, realizing what he said and quickly backtracking. “I mean, obviously I do. It’s part of your identity, it’s part of who you are. But it’s not the only thing that makes you, you. And I’m queer, I like every identity, every genitalia, doesn’t matter to me. And even if I did identify as strictly ‘gay’, that wouldn’t change a goddamn thing. You’re my boyfriend, not having a biological male penis doesn’t make you any less of a man.”

Austin’s tears escape him as he lets Josh pull him into his chest, beginning to sob into his shirt as his hand comes up to gently cradle the back of his head, the other rubbing soothing circles into his back. “Oh, baby. Thank you for trusting me with this, I know how hard it can be to come out to people that are important to you. If I may ask, why were you so nervous?” Josh’s tone is gentle, making it clear to him that he didn’t have to share if he didn’t want to.

“I was afraid’a loosin’ you. I really, really, like you, Josh. I was afraid that you wouldn’t want me if you knew, I didn’t wanna go through that pain again.”

“Again?”

Nodding slightly against his chest, Austin sits up to look at him properly, finding it hard as he inevitably trains his eyes on his hands fidgeting in his lap. “Mhm. I’ve had guys ghost me or- get angry after findin’ out. Obviously, I knew you wouldn’t get angry or anythin’ like some have, I just- wasn’t ready to risk loosin’ you. It’s a bit selfish, I should’ve told you sooner. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize to me, please.” Josh’s hands move to cup his face, gently tilting his head to make him meet his gaze as he wipes stray tears away with the pads of his thumbs. “You do not need to apologize for your identity, or who you choose to disclose that information with. Ever. I completely understand, and I’m so sorry you’ve had those experiences. I’m not going anywhere, baby. I like you, all of you, and I want all of you. Everything that comes with it, alright?”

Despite the tears still pouring down his cheeks, Austin grins wide at Josh, his fears and worries evaporating from his mind at the genuine expression of care on his face and his sincere tone. “Alright. Thank you, darlin’.”

“Of course, baby.” Josh presses a kiss to his lips, still gently cradling his face before leaning back slightly and breaking it only to pepper kisses on the corners of his lips and across the skin of his cheeks, drawing a wet laugh from Austin. “Thanks again for telling me.”

Austin looks up at him through his lashes as Josh wipes the last of his tears away, still looking at him with the kindest expression he had ever seen. “Thanks for bein’ so supportive.”

“Always. Now, what do you want to do with the rest of the night? We can watch another movie if you’d like, or go out somewhere. Whatever you feel comfortable with.”

Whatever I feel comfortable with? I mean I did- I still do want to- and now he knows and don’t seem to negatively care. “Anything?”

“Mhm, whatever you want.”

“I want you to show me just how much you want me.” Austin locks his eyes on Josh’s, seeing his pupils rapidly expand as the previous, charged energy between them returns. “All of me.”

Josh’s tongue flits out to wet his lips, his eyes dipping to Austin’s lips as his breath catches in his throat. “You sure?”

“Mhm. I did say I wanted to fuck you, didn’t I? Now that we have that conversation out of the way.”

As his hips jerk forward involuntarily, Josh tries to organize his thoughts into some response as his brain short-circuits, clearing his throat before speaking. “I believe the original statement was a little less vulgar.”

“Was it now?” Closing the distance between them, Austin brings his lips to Josh’s, one hand on his neck pulling him impossibly closer as the other slowly made its way up his thigh. Ghosting his hand over his bulge, Austin smiles against his lips as he feels Josh’s breath hitch, the faintest whimper escaping his lips as he tries to press himself up into his hand. To Josh’s dismay, Austin continues his path with his hand upwards, ignoring the whines of protest as his hand moves under his shirt to grip the soft skin of his sides. “Fancy takin’ this to the bedroom? I know Jacob ain’t here, but I’d feel bad if he walked in on somethin’; and I don’t think I could ever look anyone in the eyes again if I saw they sat on this couch after.”

As both lean back slightly, Austin opens his eyes to see Josh grinning at him, a light laugh leaving his pink, kiss-swollen lips. “That’s probably the smartest idea.” Getting up from the couch, they both grab their half-full glasses of wine as Josh eagerly leads Austin to his bedroom, closing the door behind them immediately after entering. Their hands find the other’s body the second they set their glasses down on Josh’s dresser, now empty and free to roam under each other’s shirts as Austin begins pushing Josh backwards towards his bed. Austin draws Josh’s shirt over his head before giving him one final shove, the action causing him to fall back onto the bed as he looks up at Austin, already breathless from anticipation.

He says nothing as he grins down at Josh mischievously, making sure his eyes were trained on him before he pulls his shirt off, throwing it to the side as Josh’s eyes darken. Closing the distance between them, Austin pushes Josh backwards until he’s laying on his back, slotting his leg in between his as their lips reconnect. The second Austin applies the slightest amount of downwards pressure with his thigh, Josh moans into his mouth, his hands tangling in his curls. With his lips still parted, Austin takes the opportunity to swipe his tongue across his bottom lip, his breath hitching as Josh immediately reciprocates, his own tongue snaking in between his teeth as he licks into his mouth breathlessly.

It isn’t long before Austin’s mouth leaves Josh’s, his lips ghosting across his neck and shoulder as he peppers kisses and soft bites across his skin. “What- what do you want to do?” Josh huffs the words out, as if speaking was a strain in his current state as he writhed under Austin.

“What do you mean, darlin’?”

“Like, do you- do you want to- oh fuck-” The end of his sentence transforms into a deep groan as Austin bites a sensitive spot on his neck, beginning to suck a hickey into the skin. “How do you want to fuck-? I have condoms, I’m down for whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“Well.” Austin’s breath fans across his skin as his lips slow, still placing gentle kisses to his skin between words. “The way you were shovin’ that tongue in my mouth has me thinkin’ ‘bout what it’d feel like between my legs. If you want to.”

“Fucking hell.” Josh groans the words out at his sentence, his hips bucking involuntarily against Austin’s front, only sending another groan through him. “Of fucking course I want to.”

Bringing his mouth back up to Josh’s, he grins against his lips before flipping their positions, slowly leaning back as Josh moves to position his body between his legs. As Austin’s head hits a pillow, Josh begins his descent, slowly kissing a trail down his neck and across the expanse of his collarbones, leaving a path of deep red and purple marks as he continues to his chest. I’m about ten seconds from tellin’ him to hurry his ass up and stop teasin’ me if he don’t- His train of thought completely derails as Josh sinks his teeth into the soft skin to the left of his belly button, his hand not supporting his body pressing down firmly in between his legs.

“Can I?” Austin looks down at Josh to see him gazing right back through heavy lids, his warm, ragged breath fanning across his lower stomach. As his fingers toy with the waistband of his pants and boxers, dipping below the fabric to lightly graze across his skin, Austin understands what Josh was asking.

“Mhm.” Despite himself, anxiety rushes through him as Josh draws both his jeans and boxers down his legs, watching Josh’s face for any signs of reluctance or disappointment. Josh’s jaw goes slack as he stares up at Austin, keeping steady eye contact as he brings his lips to the sensitive skin of his inner thigh and sinking his teeth into it. To ground himself, Austin brings one hand to tangle in Josh’s hair gently as the other fists the sheet below him, his breaths uneven from nerves and anticipation.

“You ok?” Austin barely hears the words, beginning to lose himself in his own mind.

“Mhm. Just nervous.”

“You don’t have to be nervous, we don’t have to keep going if you’re uncomfortable.”

“No!” Austin’s cheeks tint red at how fast the words had left his mouth, not missing the small smirk that flashes across Josh’s lips momentarily. “I want to, really. Just haven’t done this in… a while.”

“I’ll take care of you, baby. Just sit back and let me make you feel good.” Austin swears he can see stars at Josh’s low tone, his eyes hungry as his lips return to his thigh. He continues scattering kisses and bites across his thighs, slowly but surely moving lower and lower until he reaches the crease of his hip, lowering his body until he’s lying on his stomach in between his legs. “You ready?”

“Mhm.” Josh gives him a few seconds before he shifts his weight, lowering his head until he sinks forward, burying his tongue in Austin. He lets out a guttural moan as he feels Josh lick into him fervently, his grip on his hair tightening with each movement. His moans only grow louder as Josh drags his tongue upwards until it reaches his clit, swirling his tongue around him a few times before suctioning his lips around it. Austin tries to keep his hips from bucking up into him as he sets a steady pace, his tongue circling his dick as the sound of his pleasure goes straight to his own, weak moans escaping him as he presses himself against the mattress for any relief.

Josh brings his hand not gripping Austin’s thigh up to his entrance, circling it with the slightest amount of pressure, not yet pressing into him yet as he waits for some form of response. He gets it as Austin nods, his eyes screwed shut and eyebrows furrowed in his ecstasy. Wasting no time, he slowly inserts his middle finger, reveling in the sigh that left Austin as he buries himself in him. Pausing slightly to allow him to get used to the depth, he begins slowing pumping his finger in and out, curling it slightly as he searches for his G-spot. As Josh finds it, Austin’s back arches, his mouth falling open in a silent groan as the hand in Josh’s hair pulls at his roots. The sensation of it nearly pushes Josh over the edge as he weakly grinds into the mattress, his moans vibrating against Austin.

“Oh fuck-” Austin can say nothing else as his breath catches in his throat, pleasure crashing over him as his hips erratically buck forward, riding his high out. Josh’s pace remains unfaltering as he carries him through his orgasm, his neglected erection becoming painful at the sounds leaving his boyfriend’s mouth. It isn’t until Austin’s face contorts with overstimulation, his hand roughly pulling Josh away from him that he pulls his finger from him and leans back, allowing him a moment to breathe and come down as he kisses the skin of his thighs once again.

“You good?”

“Mhm, I am- I am so good, darlin’.” Austin cracks his eyes open, almost immediately ready for a second round as he takes in Josh’s appearance; his sweat slick hair, the curls at the edges of his face sticking to his skin, blown out pupils, and sweat and cum soaked lips and chin sending Austin spiraling once more despite how overstimulated he still was.

“Good.” Josh places one last kiss to his thigh before sitting up and moving back up his body, his slick lips ghosting across his skin until he reaches his mouth. The second he tastes himself on his lips, he makes up his mind, flipping their bodies quickly.

“You said you got protection, darlin’?”

“Bedside table, top drawer. You sure? You just-”

“You’re gonna find out just how high my sex drive is.” Austin grins at him before temporarily leaving him to snatch a condom from the drawer, finding his place between Josh’s legs once more as he begins working at the button of his pants. “Try and remember how high your sex drive was when you were 17 or 18; like I said, I’ve been on T for three years, so that’s about where mine’s at constantly.”

“Jesus fuck-” Austin offers no response as he pulls Josh’s pants and briefs down, his breath catching in his throat as his dick springs free, the tip red and neglected against his soft lower stomach.

Fuckin’ hell- I knew he was big, but I wasn’t expectin’ this big. Trying to stay focused, Austin rolls the condom on quickly before placing his legs on either side of Josh’s thighs, teasing the other man by wrapping his hand around the base of his dick and applying the slightest amount of pressure. Josh sits up to meet him, his hands immediately finding Austin’s hips as he raises himself up, guiding him towards his entrance. “Ready?”

“Mhm.” Austin wastes no time in sinking down onto him, their mouths falling open in unison as he slowly lowers himself until he’s buried completely in him. Neither move as they adjust to the feel of each other, their breaths fanning against the other’s lips as Austin’s hands find his shoulders, Josh’s still firmly gripping his hips.

“You good?” Austin pants the words out, needing to feel him moving inside himself but not wanting to overstimulate Josh if he needed more time.

“Mhm. Please- please move. Please fuck me.”

Fuck. Josh bites his bottom lip between his teeth as Austin raises himself almost completely off him before sinking back down in one swift motion, quickly finding and setting a pace that he knew would have both of them coming undone in minutes. As his head tilts backwards from pleasure, Josh’s eyes squeeze shut as he clamps his mouth shut to stifle a moan, only causing Austin to bring his hand up to his mouth, his thumb dragging across his lower lip. “I want to hear everything, y’understand?”

“Mhm.”

“Say it.”

“I- I understand.” Josh is true to his words as Austin experimentally grinds his hips forward, a loud moan leaving his lips as his grip tightens on the other man.

“Good boy.” Austin feels his dick twitch inside him at the words, setting his pace once more as his lips find the skin of his neck. “Such a good listener, ain’t ya?” Now his turn to bite, suck, and kiss marks into his skin, Austin memorizes each whine and groan that escapes him as he works his way up and down, his own high creeping up on him as he feels Josh’s body tense under his hands.

“Close- Almost there, baby. Just like that- Yes-”

“Cum for me.”

“No.” Josh’s eyebrows furrow as he tries to crack his eyes open, restraint twisting his features as he finds it increasingly hard to hold his orgasm back. “Want you to cum with me.” Austin doesn’t even have time to argue as his hand lowers, beginning to gently rub circles around his clit with his index and middle finger.

Austin’s forehead comes to rest against Josh’s as his eyes close, his senses bombarded with his second orgasm of the night. “Fuck. Right there-” It isn’t long after that he begins to feel that familiar twitch in his thighs and lower abdomen, his muscles tensing before pleasure crashes over him, seeing nothing but a blinding white light as he rides through his orgasm.

The feeling of Austin tensing around his dick sends Josh into his own high, trying to keep his pace on his clit steady as they peak together. They carry each other through their climaxes until uncomfortable overstimulation replaces their pleasure, both men hissing at the contact as Austin quickly raises himself off Josh, collapsing onto the bed beside him.

Josh falls backwards to lay on the bed completely, finding himself wrapped in Austin’s arms and pulled snug against his chest almost immediately. They allow themselves to lie like this for a few moments, not wanting to leave the other by getting up. Finally, they give in to the feeling of needing to clean up, both men quickly realizing just how sweaty their activities had made them as they peel themselves from the other and head to Josh’s bathroom together.

“Want to go smoke and finish our wine in the glasses on the porch?” Josh’s voice is casual and light despite the fact that he had asked the question while discarding their used condom, both men completely naked in the small space as they set in on the bare minimum of cleaning up.

Is this how casual and communicative all people are after or during sex? “Smoke what? And maybe, I know it ain’t too hot or cold out, but I don’t feel like getting’ dressed again and I don’t think your neighbors would appreciate it if we went commando.”

“Weed, cigarette for me. And I have a robe you can borrow, I might have another somewhere I can use, but I’m not sure.” Closing the bathroom door slightly, Josh pulls a silk robe off the hook attached to the back of the door, handing the dark blue fabric scattered with stars to him before making his way back into his room and towards his closet.

“If you can’t find your other one, I can just slip on a t-shirt and some boxers, it’s no biggie.” Despite his reluctance, he puts the robe on, knowing that no matter what, Josh would refuse to take it back. Instead of responding, Josh snorts as he pulls out a massive pile of bright pink silk and faux fur from his closet, unfolding it to reveal a long, billowing robe, the sleeves cascading nearly to the floor as he slips it on with a grin.

“Oh. My. God. You look like your old, rich husband just died under mysterious circumstances; and you definitely poisoned him.” Josh barks out a laugh as he retrieves the wine glasses, his robe ghosting across the floor and flowing behind him like a cape as he moves around the room. “Why the hell do you have that?”

“Went all out on a Halloween costume last year, I forgot about it till now to be honest.” He hands him the glasses as he finds a lighter, a box of cigarettes, and a joint, moving all three items to one hand as he takes his glass back. “What, do you not like it?” Glancing back at him with a smile, they move through the house together, making their way towards the back door in the dim light of the dying summer day.

“No, no, I love it. It suits you, honestly. I just wasn’t expectin’ it, that’s all.” They say nothing more as they sit down on the comfortable couch on the patio, Josh turning on the surrounding fairy lights strung along the walls and railings before sitting as close to Austin as he can. Sitting in comfortable silence, they sip their wine and Josh lights a cigarette after a few minutes, finishing it just as he drains the remainder of his wine glass. Noticing Austin’s glass had been emptied too, he retrieves the joint, lighting it carefully to ensure an even burn before taking a long drag.

He holds it out to Austin, unashamed of how his eyes stayed glued to the other man’s lips as they brush his fingertips, his heartbeat faltering at the contact. They get through half the joint before Austin finally breaks the silence, the weed loosening his lips as he replays the last hour or so of his life.

“Thanks again for bein’ so supportive. I don’t mean to make you feel like I didn’t trust you with knowin’, or that I thought you’d react negatively. That ain’t it, I swear. I’ve just had too many negative experiences with other guys that I just- I just expect guys won’t want me like they did before findin’ out. And I couldn’t shake that, even though I knew that you wouldn’t do that.”

“Don’t worry, baby, I know. I don’t take it personally, and I’m not upset. Like I said, it’s not important in terms of how it might affect our relationship or sex life. It doesn’t change how I feel for you, or how much I want you. I fully support you and am so grateful that you’re letting me see every beautiful part of you.”

Tears come to Austin’s eyes at his boyfriend’s words, his heart soaring at the level of support and what he could only describe as love that Josh had shown him. “Thank you, darlin’. Thank you for acceptin’ all of me.”

“Always and forever, Austin. Never forget it.”

--------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Since I decided that Austin would become a core OC, not just a background character briefly mentioned in Save a Horse, he has been very special to my trans, queer friends and I. I have woven in our experiences and who we are into him; in a way, he is a collection and reflection of myself and the people I love most. It wasn’t until very recently that I realized we had always perceived him as a trans man, even though it was never explicitly stated. I chose to write this so that we/I can share this part of him with you all. As it was a smut fic, I chose to not put “trans M receiving” or anything denoting that part of his identity into the warnings (besides warnings of certain discussions as I recognize it may be a sensitive topic for other trans people) and will continue to do the same in the future. Trans gay sex is gay sex, it should be considered no different than gay smut between two cis men.

A/N pt 2: normalize👏healthy👏communication👏during👏sex👏

taglist: @gretnavannfleet @aioba1503-sdm @sanguinebats @fuckyoutommie

#fic #greta van fleet #greta van fleet fan fiction #gvf fic #greta van fluff #greta van angst #greta van smut #josh gvf #josh kiszka x oc #josh kiszka fic #josh kiszka

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rsbry-beret · 3 years ago

Text

watching vox machina for the first time!!

SPOILERS BELOW. SO MANY. FOR ALL THE EPISODES IN SEASON 1

telling apart vax and vex is gonna SUCK

liam obrian my beloved

they’re so stupid this mean council guy is OBVI a dragon who can shapeshifte,, these fools

the king is a dilf

awwww vax with kids

AWWWW THE KIDS ARE DEAD UH

gnc barkeep nice

this show is rly gross like. barf blood ew

THSI INTRO SLAPS

thought fince the dragon was just trying to drive down real estate prices until he mentioned bargaining w gold

TUSK LOVE in gilmore’s shop omg

WAIT THE SCOTTISH GUYS THE DRAGON WHATTTTT NOT THE RAISIN GUY ???

why is there a troll dick

this sad victorian stage coach??? apparently his name is DESMOND which. yeah.

omg vampire nevromancer power couple?? hate them but also love that for them.

i’ve been told to stop chanting “horsdeourves” (how spell)

oh 1% anime boy has trauma D:

THE SNAKES NAME IS SIMON 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍

vax ur awesome

yea okay i love percy hes my fav

apparently he needs wooden bullets?

side note would silver work ???? bc ik silver works for “evil” creatures generally like werewolves and steel for “nice” creatures like fey?? so would vampires count hmmm

also btw their fancy outfits are so coooool i love them !!

we’re taking a break and i have many thoughts;

do grogs tattoos have significance??

also cleric struggling w faith hell yea cool side quest tho

vax being disaster bisexual ICONIC of him

surprisingly i am not struggling w vax vs vex names v much :0

BEADS OF LOVE

your soul is forfeit dude ur so cool

duuuude secret passages!!!

WHY did the guards keep the twins together??? big stupid moment ngl

woa the ever light kinda dark tho. just saying.

keyleth <3 ur so nice 🥰🌸😇

ghosts fuck yes

NOOO THE GUARDS WERE SO HOT NOOOOO

aw grog not wanting to break piles shrine

ghost grabbed grogs titties lol

why doesn’t ANYONE have the light spell omgggg

PERCY IS CURB STOMPING A GHOST RN WHAT

He’s my fav

oh my GOD grog’s “what if i need you?” 🥺🥺🥺

“you’re their light now” stfu 😭😭

omg gilmore’s back :0

ok but what the heck IS percys weird shadow smoke thing??? intriguing

oh my god vax is a bisexual disaster wow.

these scenery shots are sooo pretty oh my god

oh my god that’s a massive fuck off dog

woaaa cool omg it’s just a torso that’s metal as fuck

that’s awesome ok

wow

hahah cool blood dogs okie

it’s sorta trottin along aww

percy’s tutor guys is eugh

AWWWW VAX “kiki”

bruh “friend”

wow these guys. suck at not accidentally bringing up percys trauma lol

vex’s abandonment issues popping off okay

this whitestone flashback is GORGEOUS so it’s gonna be in ruins now :/

yea it sucks now 😬 sun tree looking uhhhh

fits the vampire aesthetic a lot more now ngl but i like the pretty version personally

oh damn. the ending of episode 5. damn. augh

percy V pale. vitamin deficiency? very very white boy

why tf are there giants/goliaths here?? does not make sense bestie like is it an ecosystem thing? additional guard force?? i am wondering.

whitestone? more like graystone OOOOO BURN it’s bc the city is dirty.

religious person keeping the peace? BOOOO RISE UP VIVA LA RESISTANCE

Oh nvm she’s in the resistance ! sick. good for her.

aww archie and percy childhood crushes?? adorable

everlight on FIRE?? i guess not dark now but that can’t be good oof

“those were bad ideas and you should all feel bad” so tru bestie

also vax and percy standing like a power couple in that scene polycule rights

that’s a RLY COOL gun scope omg

haha back door team are all bottoms

oh my GOD they can’t open the door jesus

help action unsuccessful yikes scanlan

scANLANS FOOT???

PERCY FELL OUT A WINDOW

oh my god archie is nice and i like him <3

keyleth going FERAL I LOVE THAT FOR HER

WAIT. scanlans piercing is on the gay ear !!!!!

FUCK YES NO MERCY PERCY

and the NAME melts off the GUN this RULES

Cassandra is alive!!!!! holy shitttt

percy was a NERD in his youth

still is lol

this tutor suuuuuuucks booo

“who’s the sixth barrel for?” THE SHADOW. OH.

awwww archie and percy <3 <3 cute

let. me. be. annoying.

oh this lute music is a VIBE.

scanlans song slaps as well this is great

OMG THE GUARDS ARE PLAYING DND HAHA

“he’s a really tall guy” “scanlans just got shrunk” thanks @a-human-pippin-took i’m dumb at moments

WHAT FIRE BREATH WHAHAHAT HA

HEY HE IS BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE!!!!

this rules.

DUDE HES A TRICERATOPS THIS IS AMAZING 🦖🦕🦖🦕🦖

So dinosaurs are real??? or are they like mythical creatures in this universe ?

i can’t believe this mission was a total success good job scanlan

dick lightning omg nice sam

oh shit. cass. fuck man.

FUCK this tutor guy !

this loser brought a sword to a gun fight. sHit nvm he brought golems

OH MY GOD SHES ALOVE SHE SURVIVED JESUS CHRIST AH THANK GOD

pikes side quest goin Wild rn

oh THATS what it’s supposed to look like. a bit more light-y

oh this possession thing is uhhhhhh Fucked Up

oh my GOD percy is cool. fucked up but cool.

cass is. she has trauma as well! oof moment

oh my god. keyleth and the de rolo crest. that’s cool as fuck 😌😌

this vampire building is cool af and definitely trustable!!

uhhh that’s some. strange looking ceiling mold. 😬

oh FUCK THAT the hanged children have been ununalived now

ARCHIE NOOOOOIIIIIIOOOOOOIIOJOOKOOOOOOO THIS IS SO SAD

still torn up about that but holy shit keyleth

aw “kiki” 💚💚💚

that was a V good speech percy!! i miss archie :,(

oh my god “you know i’m in love with you, right?” “NOW?”

PIKE YES

“marry me?” “yes right now let’s do it” “really?” “no”

aw fuck still zombos

necromancer lady tattoo is messy as fuck. stick poke?

vax u CANT just free EVERYONE who the briarwoods hate,,

woa percy what did she do tho

oh this credits song!! <3 cute

oh FUCK this doctor lady

egh i rly don’t like anna ripley eghhhh

i agree w scanlan lol the smoke is a Bit fucked up lol lol hmmmm

WOA

OH MY GOD WHAT PERCY WHAT UR SOUL DUDE WHAT WOAH WHAT

this is so sus

cass u better be chill and not not chill

OH THATS SO COOL OMG “you’re at the bottom of my list”

taliesin king of one liners and crow noises

i only just realized pike is astral projecting

sick dagger vax 🔥🔥🔥

WAIT THE NAME CAS NO

shit fuck balls i called it

shittttt

percys crying vex is crying i’m gonna cry

HEAVY METAL

grog why is ur dick named that,,,,,

oh scanlan u genius

WATCHING W SUBTITLES ORTHAX IS THE WEIRD DEMON WTF AHHHH

percy holding his arm back from shooting cass,,,

oh my god scanlans muted,,,, smart but UGH

PIKE !! ❤️❤️❤️❤️💕❤️💕❤️❤️💕💕💕

KEYLETH THE LIGHT YEs

WEAKENS VAMPIRE FREES VEX THIS RULES YES

FUCK. YES. PIKE. THIS IS AWESOME KICK HER ASS

ok that fight was EPIC

And cass is more chill again!

aw fucks sake vampire lady pls stop it jeez

KEYLETH

the demon is orb

shittttttt

percy nooo ur soul is being overtaken haha

okay i got so wrapped up in the last episode i forgot to write ANYTHING but this show is VERY GOOD i highly recommend

!!!

#Rsbry’s jam #vox machina #vox machina spoilers #critical role #critical role season 1 #the legend of vox machina #tlovm

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khaleesiofalicante · 2 years ago

Note

Hola Dani!! How are you? Thank you for keeping us updated about your country's situation...

I hope you're taking care of yourself, drinking enough water (tea counts 💚) how's the weather over there??

I'm not dragging this out because it's the last chapter!!!

It's a Fucking Date!

It's the song!!! 😭

THE BEGINNING

Wait... I'm lost, where are we?? When are we??

Not for the first time, Magnus wonders if he made the right decision.

Is this THE BEGINNING beginning??? 😯

Princeton is supposed to be an escape.

It is!!!🥳

She grins at him. “Why don’t you come to the party and tell me more about environmental chemistry?”

Yes!!!! It's THE PARTY!!!! LAPSLAÑQPA!!!!

“I’m Raphael.”

“You already said that.”

And it was too much! 🤣

It’s a long-sleeved t-shirt that says, ‘Blink If You Want Me’.

Is all coming together!!

“Call me Raph again and I’ll have you skinned,” the boy says – very seriously.

And I will help!!

There is a boy there, leaning against the balcony railing, smoking on his own.

Listen!! I just... I... OMG 😭... I'm emotional ok!!

Their first meeting!!! My wildest dreams could never!! It was so sweet!!

Oh look at that attack of the raisins 🤣

“It’s the devil’s fruit,” Magnus grumbles.

Ok but consider this... Dani made raisins a romantic gesture!! 🥰

“People also make out,” Magnus says nonchalantly and takes a step toward Alec.

Magnus feels the need to scream.

Join me!! I've been screaming and jumping around since the party was mentioned!!

“Can I have that one?” Magnus asks.

Alec looks down at his hoodie. He stares at Magnus. “No?”

This is everything I ever wanted

He leans forward and presses their lips together.

*Alexandra has exploted with happiness *

“Quick question,” Magnus runs after him. “Is this your first date?”

“Yes.”

Magnus smiles.

I'm smiling too!! I haven't been sad ONCE so far... what is this?? I AM LOVE IT

THE MIDDLE

There is a different kind of loneliness to him now.

It’s not about being alone.

It’s about being without love.

The love of Magnus.

THE SADNESS

“I want people to know exactly the kind of president I’m going to be,” Jia says seriously. Then she smiles. “Besides, anyone who doesn’t want you by their side is an idiot.”

I love Jia!!! 🤩😍🤩😍🤩

But after having a lot of time to think about it, he feels as if this is partly Magnus’ fault too.

It was!! You both chose to ignore my very wise and insightful advice and that's why everything went to shit!! Also Fuck Camille!! 🤬

“Fuck. I forgot I can’t play the gay card with you,” Aline laughs. “Fine. I don’t wanna go because he is a racist piece of shit. What say now, Lightwood?”

🤣🤣🤣 did Aline teach this behavior to Max?? Also how good is Helen that she made Aline forget that ALEXANDER LIGHTWOOD is the gay card 🤣🤣

“Alexander.”

His eyes fall shut at that.

Wait... I just got palpitations!!! I'm not ready for this to happen in part 3 😵

Alec snorts. “You’re still ditching people as you please, huh?”

Brother get a hold of yourself and don't ruin this for me!!

“I don’t remember what you taste like!” Alec yells for some reason.

ALWÑQPAPAPAPA!!!! My twin is precious!!! And he says that Magnus isn’t subtle!! Honey look at yourself!!!

Magnus clutches at his neck as he kisses Alec, gasping and shaking into his mouth.

I'm winning

And now sexy times!!! 🥵🥵

Alec gasps and looks up again. “Where the fuck were you?”

Don't you ever do that shit again!!!!!! We're sensitive!!

Yeah talk you sexy hoes!! TALK!!!

The way there was not a second of hesitation. Alec could die right now, and he’d die a happy man.

Join me in the afterlife!!!

Ok... so I made an executive decision and I'll be splitting this in two parts due to gif usage!!

So now you'll have to suffer through two of my rambling messages instead of one

Sorry... 😅

I ACTUALLY FORGOT MY NIGHT TEA. IMMA GO HAVE IT RN AHHHHH THANK YOU.

The weather was nice today. But it's VERY warm here these days and I'm dying :(

ALSO THE GIF USE IN THIS CHAPTER WAS TOP TIER ILY.

#tlnd

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago

Text

Survey #444

“the monster you made is wearing the crown / i’ll be the king, and you’ll be the clown”

Do you take off from school, or work for your birthday? Ha, I used to try to talk Mom into letting me stay home from school... It only sometimes worked. Have you ever created ‘open when’ letters for someone? No. That'd be cute for an s/o, though. What is the best thing about being in the relationship you’re in right now or about being single? Not having to fear my partner leaving because of the struggles I'm going through. Not having to worry about not being enough for another person, because I'm not even enough for myself. Do you have a favourite painting? Not by a historical artist, no, but there is a piece by a deviantART artist called "Denialism" (by NukeRooster/Tatchit, if you're interested) that I adore so much I've actually gotten her permission to get it tattooed one day when I can afford a brilliant artist to do it. What are some of the best life hacks you know? /shrug What makes you smile without fail? MARK LAUGHING laj;sdkafjwlk;erj Do you know what you’ll be getting your loved ones for the holidays this winter? No clue. That's still a whiles off. What is your biggest short-term goal (within the next month)? Just lose a decent amount of weight for a month's time. What will your next tattoo be of? It depends on what cash I have available, really. As much as it sucks, I think my next tat is a whiles off because I just have more pressing things to pay for. Has anyone very close to you ever died? Besides pets, the closest human to me that's ever died was Jason's mom. If you were throwing your significant other/best friend a themed party, what would the theme be? Uh, Frieza-related, obviously. Do you feel prepared for the apocalypse? I don't believe in the apocalypse in the biblical sense of it being determined by an ultimate power, so this isn't something I really think about. Whenever humanity ends, it ends. I don't have a say, so I may as well not obsess over it. Do you think you will have children naturally, adopt, or forgo having children altogether? I'm not having kids, but if I did, I know that either I'd have to give birth to them or my hypothetical wife would for me to feel *properly* connected to them as a mother should. Oh, or if my male partner had a kid from a previous relationship, but I'd have to be REALLY in love with him to feel like that child is also my own. Do you take pictures of yourself on a daily basis? Oh god no. Do you believe in angels? No, but rather just spirits. Is there anything in your past that you used to regret, but now you don’t? Hm, maybe? Does your knee hurt? My knees always hurt. Has anyone ever called you sexy? Yes. Do you like raisins? omg nooooo What is your favorite bug? Butterflies! :') Do you like Scrabble? Sure, it's fun for a board game. Do you have a printer? Yes. What is your favorite food? Cheeseburgers or pizza, probably. I know, so American. Have you ever overheard a conversation you weren’t supposed to? Yes. Do you like ants? They are very fascinating when you really think about it, but I still find them incredibly annoying. Did you like the movie Antz? I loved it as a kid. Have you ever drank goat milk? No, I don't believe so. What’s your favorite video game? Silent Hill 2 and Shadow of the Colossus. Do you like cats? I love kitties!!! :') Are goldfish your favorite fish? No. I think my favorite is probably the lionfish. Do you like vanilla pudding? No. I only like chocolate pudding. What is your opinion on gay marriage? I 100% support it and would fight to the death for it. What is your opinion on gay adoption? Don't even fucking look at me if you see a problem with a parentless child finding a home with two people in love. Who was the last person you had a crush on? Sara. What’s the most expensive piece of clothing you own? I have zero clue. Why do you drive the car you have right now? I don't have my own car. Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Omg yes and it sucks. Are you friends with your neighbors? No. What is your current desktop picture? One of my favorite pictures of my late pup, Teddy. What’s the coolest thing you’ve seen out the window of an airplane? Mountains! Does your neighbor have any pets? *shrug* Have you ever swam in a mountain lake? No, but that sounds VIBIN'. Has a cat/dog ever thrown up on your bed? alksdjflk;a;jdfalwe yes Have you ever had a concussion? One or two. Do you know anyone who has a pet gecko? Not currently, I think? I want a fat-tailed gecko, though. :( Would you ever go bear hunting? I wouldn't dare hunt ANY animal. Have you ever seen two movies at the theater in a row? I have not. How many teenagers do you know who have babies? I know no teen personally that has a child, but there were some pregnant students in high school. If you could keep your parents or trade them for other parents, which would you pick? I would NEVER change my parents. Is there a piggy bank in the room you’re in? It's not a "piggy" bank, per se, but my sister got me a skull one that she says is for my tattoo funds. :') How many sets of twins do you know? Two, off the very top of my head. If you have younger siblings, are you very protective of them? Yes. No one fucks with her for as long as I live. If you have older siblings, are they very protective of you? Not especially. Who is your favorite Disney Channel person? Uhhh, maybe Raven Symone? How many pets do you have? Just two. Do you think you will be successful in life? No. :/ What do you have pierced? My earlobes, twice, and my bottom lip. I have been dyinnnnggg for some new ones lately. :/ Does techno annoy you as much as it annoys me? No, I actually enjoy quite a bit of techno. What’s your comfort food? Ice cream. Do you like paranormal stuff? YES. Do you have a favorite stuffed toy? Rebel, my adorable meerkat plush from Jason, and Brownie, my moose from Cabela's. What’s the most exciting project you were given? In a way, my senior project since you got to choose your own topic, but I dreaded the presentation. Do you have a good sense of direction? Not at ALL. What are your favorite colour for a cat? Orange! If you had to live your life carrying a shield, what would its design be? This is gonna sound super, super cheesy, but probably a heart to symbolize how love should and could block the effects of hate and general evil and that we should pursue that instead of violence. Out of all the cancers, which one do you think needs to find a cure first? Oh god, they all do. If I had to pick one though, it'd be one of the inevitably fatal kinds, like pancreatic. What are your general afterthoughts when you’ve finished a book? I feel accomplished for actually reading to a story's completion. How many pairs of glasses (not sunglasses) have you owned? Two, I think? What color is your flash-drive? Hot pink. Have you ever built a sand castle? Yeah. How many houses have you lived in? Six. One I have no memory of. Do you shut off the water while you brush your teeth? Yes. What video game should everybody play at least once? Amnesia: A Machine for PIgs for the symbolism. It blows my mind how most horror fans hate it; it's like they totally miss the point. 100 years from now, what modern things will people look back on and say, “WTF?” Hopefully things like homophobia, racism, misogyny, concepts like those. What is impossible to understand until it happens to you? Mental illness, to name only one thing. What fictional food item from a television show, cartoon, movie, or video game have you always wanted to try? Hm. There's a lot that has looked super good, really. What’s something that gets much more hate than it deserves? Nickelback, lmao. What phrases or sayings drive you crazy? "Everything happens for a reason," "it could be worse/some people have it worse," "it's all part of God's plan," "just think positive"... a lot of stuff. Do you have a deviantART? I do, even though Eclipse made it fucking suck. I only really stay because I cling to the dying hope of being at least somewhat successful on there, and I enjoy keeping tabs on the artwork of the hundreds of people I watch there. Who is your favorite character in your favorite movie? Mufasa, even if he doesn't last long in the movie. :''''''( Have you ever been to Germany? No, but I'd love to! What is your favorite holiday? Christmas. Have you ever been ice skating? No. The blades on the skates scare me. Have you ever taken a karate class? No. Do you have any nieces or nephews? I have a lot, if you include my half-siblings' kids. Do you own an Xbox? Nah, I've always been a PlayStation gal. Would you date someone who’s well-known for cheating? Nope. Would you break up with someone your parents didn’t approve of? No. I'd consider their reasons, but ultimately, it's about me loving the person. Could you be in a relationship without sex? Yeah, sure. It's not ideal, but I mean if the other person is just very opposed, I'm certainly not forcing them. Emotional intimacy is more important to me, anyway. Have you ever been “friendzoned”? Yep. :') Briefly, anyway. Jason tried for my sake, but it was VERY short-lived by no one's fault but my own because all I know how to do is fuck shit up when it comes to him. Which “famous couple” is your favorite? LOOK Mark and Amy are FUCKIN GEMS Have you ever “destroyed” a relationship? Pretty fucking much. Are you the “dominant” or the “submissive” part in a relationship? I'm submissive by nature. Do you think Valentine’s Day is overrated? No, I think it's a cute holiday. Which do you feel is worse of the two to smoke: weed or tobacco? Well, weed has more carcinogens, but at least it has actual health benefits. Who did you last see that you haven’t seen in ages? *shrug* Are you photogenic at all? God no.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''necessary evil'' by motionless in white (ft. jonathan davis)

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ryansunsolved · 5 years ago

Note

Request: Stripper AU, but Shane’s the stripper and no one knows until Ryan ends up at the club where Shane works because it’s a new club.

I’ve seen this prompt floating around tumblr recently but I’ve never seen someone make Shane the stripper in this AU, so kudos to you anon for being creative and providing us with some god-tier stripper!Shane content. I mean, look at that boy’s legs!

sweet as wine

There he was, like disco superfly I smell sex and candy here Who's that lounging in my chair?

Read below the cut or here on ao3

Look— none of this would have happened if Steven Lim wasn’t a scheming little weasel who doesn’t respect the sanctity of Chubby Have I Bunnied.

“Never have I ever lived in Arcadia, California,” Steven said through a mouthful of marshmallows.

It was foul— but fair play, and an obvious payback for Ryan’s earlier targeted question at Steven. Ryan laughed and begrudgingly fit another extra large marshmallow into his cheeks, nudging Shane.

“I feel like you have” he smiled, pointing a finger at him.

“Hm? Have I ever lived in Arcadia, California?”

“Oh, I thought you said slept,” Ryan snorted, a rogue marshmallow falling out of his mouth like a crewmate jumping ship.

Shane bit his lip, remembering that one time, years ago when he and Ryan had just started working at Buzzfeed as interns, Ryan inviting him to stay at his parents’ house in Arcadia. He remembered that night all too clearly— the night of their first and only kiss. It was as though they reached some silent agreement to never mention it again, and Shane didn’t dare to, keeping their work relationship and his own feelings separate. But that was ages ago, and even if Shane’s feelings were still virulent in moments like these when Ryan looked soft and sure, leaning into his space, he had gone this long without mentioning it.

No need to ruin a good thing, he thought bitterly, and begun to wonder if he would have to dig out that old journal sooner than expected.

Ryan had lost the game, forced to spit a congealed mess of mashed-up marshmallow into the staff sink, much to the mutual disgust of his co-hosts, and that’s when shit hit the fan.

“Ryan, since you’re the loser, I think you should face punishment of some sorts,” Steven said thoughtfully, grinning as he reclined back in his chair.

“Now, now, let’s be civil,” Shane tutted, Ryan rising to meet Steven’s eye beside him.

“Like what?”

“Oh, I don’t know...” Steven hummed, twiddling his fingers. Shane could practically hear the gears turning in his head.

Steven and Ryan had always had this peculiar rivalry of sorts. It was usually victimless and in terms of workplace conflict, relatively mild, but sometimes it got carried away. Shane could think of about ten different instances off the top of his head where the two had gone head-to-head.

“What about...you have to go to a strip-club—“

“What?!” Ryan burst into laughter, head tilting towards the ceiling as he snorted into his hands, “Wha— why?”

“—for two hours, with the boys,” Steven finished, “Come on, Ryan, it’ll be fun.”

Shane instantly paled, pulse hot and wild beneath his skin, Ryan’s laughter muffled below the ringing in his ears. He swallowed thickly, only shaken from his thoughts by Ryan’s hand, searing hot on his thigh.

“What do you say, Big Guy? You, me, Big Apple Steve, and T.J. out on the town this Friday?”

Shane looked at Ryan’s sunshine smile, those glittering brown eyes, completely unaware of the inner turmoil Steven’s simple gag had sent him into. Ryan’s touch seemed to brand his skin beneath his skinny jeans. He shivered, putting on what he hoped was a composed face.

“Sorry, boys,” he said breezily, “m’afraid I’ve got plans.”

“Booooo,” Steven called after him as he hobbled unsteadily to his feet, making a bee-line for the water cooler.

Ryan laughed, adding a few taunts of his own, but as Shane cooled his burning face against his aluminum water bottle, he noticed Ryan’s curious glance, as if trying to read Shane’s mind

____

Okay—Shane hadn’t lied. He really was busy on Friday night. What important plans he had, he couldn’t say, not even as Ryan continued to pester him for the rest of the week. He supposes that considering the nature of said aforementioned plans, it would have been wiser to cancel them altogether and just tag along. It would be easier right? He could see Ryan get drunk and danced upon by a few scantily-clad women and then Uber it back home after knocking back a few brewskis himself. But it wasn’t his fault— how was he supposed to know that the strip club Steven would drag Ryan to would be the same strip club Shane worked at?

Look, Shane wasn’t down on his luck by any means— he had recently started a promising new company with two of his closest friends and colleagues, and was still receiving a cushy contracting cheque from Buzzfeed for their Unsolved series. And despite his recent exit out of a long-term relationship, he liked to think he was doing pretty well, co-parenting a cat with a woman he still very much considered a good friend. But Los Angeles was an expensive place to live, and despite his nonchalant attitude in the Watcher Weekly, he couldn’t help but wonder, if it all went south, what would his backup plan be?

Besides, why did strippers always need some tragic background story to justify what they do? Couldn’t they just dance because they enjoyed it?

Shane certainly did, and it came as a real surprise. He never actually expected to take his brother’s friend up on the offer when Finn dragged him to a bar one weekend. They were four drinks in, intoxicated by the booze and fluorescent lights of the dim club, but that single passing comment ended up thrusting Shane into what would eventually become his side job and newfound passion.

“You could probably strip,” he joked, knocking back some fruity drink, “got the legs for it and everything.”

The guy was piss-drunk and drenched in body glitter— not exactly the kind of person you would take moral advice from, but nevertheless, Shane woke the next morning with a pounding head and an odd curiosity. It was a joke at first— like one of those bizarre hypotheticals your brain sometimes conjures up. But you never actually act on them. The only problem was that he did, and by the time he had secured his first gig, he could no longer deny that he was actually interested in a job like this. Okay, so what? He was a young, attractive man living in a particularly liberal part of L.A.

He shouldn’t have to prove himself, or feel ashamed about what he does. Hell, half the people he worked with were gay and heavily involved in the nightclub scene. And yet still, he found himself choosing not to mention this particular part of his life to his coworkers— especially not Ryan.

It just never came up, and Shane never thought that it would— that was before Ryan showed up at his strip club.

____

The atmosphere hit Ryan like a freight train the second two intimidating bouncers begrudgingly lifted up two velvet ropes, letting him, Steven, and T.J. into the nightclub.

It was rather upscale, and nothing like the sleazy, smoke-filled joints Ryan remembered from his college days. The walls were black marble, lined with tasteful vintage band posters and neon hanging emblems. An authentic-looking jukebox sat nestled in the corner, and along the stage, a line of attractive dancers had started to form.

“I can’t believe they still I.D’ed me at the door,” Ryan shouted above the music, vibrating intensely through the floor and walls.

Steven grinned, “Well, you know what they say— Asian don’t raisin.”

“What—“ Ryan laughed, unaware if Steven could even hear him over the noise, “I’ve never heard that before.”

Steven smiled and nodded towards a nearby waitress, leaning in closer to Ryan’s ear, “Maybe you can try to get a free drink. You never know!”

T.J. rolled his eyes, “Meet me at the bar by twelve. And try not to do anything that’s going to get us arrested.”

With that he left, striking up a conversation with the bartender. T.J. was a married man with a newborn baby at home— a strip club was the last place he wanted to be, but he obliged to humour Ryan and to provide a ride home if needed. Ryan, however was recently single. He and Mari had broke things off amicably about a month prior, giving her more freedom to explore her blooming career and Ryan more opportunities to film things for Watcher without feeling guilty about time spent away from home. They were on good terms, but breakups were never easy, and Ryan was more than happy to get his mind off the situation and get himself back into the dating pool. He suspected Steven’s intentions were as such when he suggested this in the first place, and overcome with a sudden wave of affection for the man, slung an arm around his shoulder.

“C’mon, Big Apple Steve. Let’s go find us some dancers.”

_____

The performances were impressive. Sultry but tasteful, dozens of dancers strutted the stage, winding around glimmering silver poles like black cats, smoky eyes glittering down at the crowd. There were a few men in the mix too, clad in tight, cropped black clothes, rippling with muscle underneath. Ryan paid no mind to them, used to L.A.’s diverse, open culture, and after knocking back a few drinks, he even found himself eyeing them as much as the girl performers. It was then that his heart stopped dead in his chest, pushing away the slow haze of liquor from his mind as his eyes zeroed in on one tall figure working the stage.

The man was unbelievably tall— towering above the rest of the performers, even the ones in six-inch heels. Through the rips in his black jeans, he could see his pale skin, broken up by delicate lace fishnets clinging to his slim long legs. As the man peeled his shirt off, his collarbones jutted outwards, lean muscle trailing downwards from between his chest. His makeup was minimal— just smudged black eyeliner and a light dusting of glitter down his cheeks and pecs, hair mussed up as if he’d just had sex. He swayed gracefully to the music, toying with the button of his jeans teasingly, stalking the pole like a predator before swinging around it once, smoothly. Ryan’s jaw dropped, and as he made eye contact with the stranger, the man visibly blanched.

“I...” Ryan choked out, pants alarmingly tight as a hot coil wound inside his stomach.

And then Shane was running off the stage, disappearing behind a blue velvet curtain as the music boomed on.

“Wow,” Steven said, equally as baffled.

“I...I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” Ryan said shakily, nearly tripping over his seat.

He stumbled towards the floor, and much to his own surprise, he found himself ignoring the neon green restroom sign, heading straight for the backstage instead.

____

He found Shane hunched over a vanity with smudged makeup and a lit cigarette like a tragic Hollywood star drowning in self pity and body glitter.

“I’m not offering any private dances right now,” he grumbled, voice muffled by his hand.

“I...” Ryan said, unsure of what the proper protocol was upon finding your friend naked and grinding on a stripper pole.

He was even less sure about how to gracefully navigate that conversation with a raging boner.

“Oh,” Shane said softly, taking in a sharp breath.

“I—“

“Look—“

They both spoke at the same time, laughing quietly like it was some kind of Mexican stalement and not the singlehanded most confusing moment of their entire friendship thus far.

“You first,” Shane said almost shyly, and it occurred to Ryan then that for the first time in their dynamic, Shane might be more scared than him.

“I had no idea,” he said lamely, and cast his gaze back at his sneakers.

Nice going, Bergara. Real smooth.

Shane laughed dryly, “Yeah, that...that was kinda the whole point. Who woulda thought Steven would pick the only strip club I’m working at tonight, huh?”

Ryan smiled, scratching his neck, “Yeah. Uh— I just...” he looked at Shane, biting his lip, “Why didn’t you tell me? I know it’s none of my business what you do in your spare time but...we’re friends, Shane. You know you can share this stuff with me, right?”

Shane looked down at his lap, looking guilty, “I know, Ryan, I just...” he sighed, “I don’t know.”

“I mean,” Ryan shifted awkwardly from foot to foot. It was decidedly hard to have a serious conversation when your incredibly hot friend was half naked and sweaty in front of you. “Is it for money or—“

“No,” Shane said instantly. He shook his head, “I just...” he trailed off, looking at Ryan and offering a halfhearted shrug, “like it, I guess.”

Ryan nodded, furrowing his brows, trying to take all this information in through his beer-clouded mind.

“Okay,” he said finally.

Shane looked at him, looking surprisingly vulnerable and almost small in his chair, “Okay.”

Ryan swallowed thickly, “You were really good out there.”

Shane snorted, scratching at his chin, fingers scraping against his beard with a soft sound that send another confusing jolt of heat towards Ryan’s groin.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Ryan said, surprised at how deep his voice sounded. He began to walk towards Shane, seemingly not by his own accord. “Really good.”

“You already said that,” Shane said smiling, looking amused.

“Really good,” Ryan repeated, voice husky and thick in his chest. Shane’s eyes were wide, and from their close distance, he could see as they dilated, eyes darkening further.

He licked his lips, feeling dizzy with the intensity of it all, high on the sight of Shane before him, “Still not doing any private dances tonight?”

“I...” Shane trailed off, looking at his lips, “I might be able to make an exception.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Like moving through water, Shane slowly stood up, drawing up a chair, pushing on Ryan’s chest until he fell back into it, breaths laboured as they tore through his chest. Shane circled the chair once, twice, dragging his fingertips teasingly against Ryan’s low collar before stopping in front of him, dropping gracefully to the ground on the balls of his feet, smiling coyly at him, gripping his chin. He got up again, slowly swinging his hips and trailing his hands along his thighs, dragging them up his hardened pecs before threading them through his hair, giving it a resolute tug. He poised one of his long legs on the arm of Ryan’s chair, the impressive bulge in his jeans in direct eyesight as he dragged Ryan’s gaze up to meet his own.

Shane slowly pivoted, fully into the dance now, a small smile on his face as he ground back against Ryan, grabbing his hands and placing them on his thighs, where fishnets poked out of the leg of his jeans. Ryan’s breath faltered in his lungs, “Holy fuck,” he gasped, the air knocked out of him like he’d just taken a football to the chest. His fingers twitched along the exposed line of skin, feeling like a teenager creaming his pants after getting to first base.

What the fuck.

And then Shane was pulling away, dragging him by the hand to a small couch in the middle of the room.

“Shane, wha—“ Ryan was cut off by a strangled moan as Shane pushed him back into the cushions, straddling his lap with practiced ease.

Shane smiled against his neck, starting to trail soft kisses along his jawline as he began to unbutton Ryan’s shirt.

“Fuck, Shane, I—“ he panted nonsensically, hands exploring whatever expanse of skin he could reach.

As Shane sucked a small bruise just under his ear, Ryan’s shirt popped open, nipples immediately hardening under the cool air as Shane began to grind softly down onto him, mouthing a hot line up his neck and clavicles.

“Please, please,” Ryan moaned, reaching out for him. In his clouded mind, he wasn’t even fully aware of what he was asking for until he found it in between Shane’s parted lips. He sighed into the kiss, hands cupping Shane’s cheeks as his settled on Ryan’s shoulders, rutting dirtily against the front of his jeans. Ryan gasped into the kiss, a strangled moan torn out of his lips as Shane drew his fingers down to pad at his sensitive nipples.

“Fuck!” he groaned, thrusting his hips up to meet his movements.

“Someone’s sensitive,” Shane murmured in his ear, placing a teasing bite along his jaw.

“Shane, Shane,” he breathed, eyes rolling back into his head.

And then Shane took one pec into his mouth and Ryan Bergara was a dead man.

“Ohhh!” he borderline whined, clawing at Shane’s smooth back as he nipped at the bud, laving his tongue over it and mouthing hotly between his sternum.

He ground down once, twice, and eyes glittering, placing his mouth over his sensitive nipple, he reached down with his free hand and squeezed the bulge pressing against the zipper of Ryan’s jeans. With one plaintive moan and a stuttered, Shane, Ryan bucked his hips up and stilled, wide-eyed and flushed pink under the soft lights, “I just came in my pants,” he said suddenly. “Oh my god.”

Shane cracked up, slumping against Ryan and burying his nose in his shoulder, “Oh my god, Ryan.”

“It’s not my fault you’re so hot!” he said defensively, clinging onto Shane as he blanketed his body warmly, pressing him into the couch. He pressed a small kiss to his exposed neck, and Shane smiled.

“I’m never letting you live this one down,” he wheezed, clapping him once on the ass, “I guess the viewers were right about your nipple thing.”

“S-Shut up, Shane,” he muttered, pinching him in the arm.

Shane huffed out a laugh against his neck and as the air stilled, he shut his eyes, “So...should we talk about this?”

Ryan shifted underneath him, “Nah,” he said groggily, leaning into his touch, “let’s do that when I haven’t had five brewskis.”

“Five?” Shane laughed, “Your frat boy habits die hard, Ryan. You’re gonna be a real menace tomorrow.”

“Well,” Ryan said slowly, tracing a line down his back, “maybe you should come home with me and make sure my morning is tolerable.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” Ryan said, feeling emboldened with each inch he grew closer to Shane, high off the post-orgasm bliss and the smell of Shane’s cologne warm and sweet against his skin.

Shane grabbed his ass, “I fuckin’ love Steven Lim.”

As Ryan dissolved into laughter, he couldn’t help but share the sentiment. And that night when he and Shane walked out of the bar hand-in-hand, he couldn’t help but wonder if this was Steven’s plan all along.

(send me a request!)

#shyan #shyan fic #skeptic believer #buzzfeed unclean #my writing #shane x ryan #stripper!shane

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comeondowntosouthparkrpg-blog · 6 years ago

Text

Alexis “Lexus” Martin

out of character info

Name/Alias: Lindo Pronouns: hhh Age: 24 Join Our Discord: I don’t have a discord :/ Timezone: EST Activity: aaaaaaaaaaa Triggers: heterosexuals Password:jimmy can FAST PASS MY ASS Character that you’re applying for: LEXUS Favourite ships for your character: chemistryyy

in character info

Full name: Alexis “Lexus” Martin Birthday: June 15th Sexuality, gender, pronouns: Bisexual, cis fem, she Age and grade: 18 Appearance: Lexus stands at 5′6″ with curves in all the right places. Her eyes are bright blue with a ring of green in the middle and her face is peppered with freckles. Her hair falls to the middle of her shoulder blade, the color of leaves on an autumn day. She’s fit, given the job she has her body is her main source of employment. Her nails are always painted some form of fun color, usually acrylic and sharp enough to tear skin. Despite her petite size, she packs a mean punch and will knock you out if you step out of line. She has her ears pierced twice and often flaunts a face of makeup and fake lashes-- always wanting to look her absolute best. Her belly button is pierced, usually showed off when crop tops and hot pants. Her legs are long, often accentuated with high heels. To put it simply, Lexus is hot.

Personality: Lexus has always been the “mean girl”. She won’t hesitate to tear you down or rip you a new one. She’s the pitbull of the Raisins, ready to throw hands at any time if someone sticks their nose (or hands) where it doesn’t belong. Despite this, at work she’ll flirt with literally anyone that’s seated at her table-- it’s her job, after all, and tips are always bigger when you sugar coat everything. Most of her regulars worship the ground she walks on, and if they don’t they fear for their lives because she can and will end them if they misbehave in the restaurant.

When it comes to the other Raisins girls, Lexus is seen as the mother hen or big sister. She’s incredibly defensive and protective of them while also relentlessly teasing them for their faults. It’s basically “only she can make fun of them”. This is most notable with Porsche, whom she mocks for her stupidity constantly, but if someone outside of her clique were to attempt it they’d end up in the ER.

History: Alexis was born to a a seventeen year old cheerleader and her jock boyfriend. It was love at first sight-- and the shot gun at the alter was there to make sure of it. She grew up in a trailer park with an overworked, asshole father and a fleeting debutante mother. One was always drunk while the other was constantly chasing her youth. When her father’s job could no longer support the family, her mother took to stripping in an attempt to make ends meet.

This had an impact on Lexus, whom constantly saw the worth of her mother’s beauty over all else. Eventually, her deadbeat dad went out for a drink with the boys and never came, setting the two back and forcing their financial status to once again drop. When Raisins opened in the fourth grade, Lexus was one of the first to apply. She saw how her family’s struggle lessened with her mother’s new career and figured her new job would do nothing but aid them.

She was pretty, for a kid, and thus was able to gain quite the reputation. Most of her money went to helping her mother whom didn’t seem to see any problem in her 8 year old daughter working at what was essentially a children’s Hooters. With the morality out of the way, the two girls managed to support themselves throughout Alexis’s childhood. When she finally hit the age of legality, it was a no brainer that she sought a part time position at her mother’s strip bar where the cash really came in. Of course, her loyalty to Raisins and her girls wouldn’t let her entirely quit, so she still has a few shifts at the restaurant.

Sample paragraph: Neon lights flash back and forth, accenting her darkened silhouette as her body is spun around the pole one last time. The song comes to an end, someone calls her off and she takes a moment to collect her bills off the stage and exit. It’s 2am-- the club is closing down and the last few patreons are being escorted out on wobbly legs and shoved less than gracefully into awaiting cabs. Delicately manicured fingers grab at a nearby rag, wiping any remaining sweat from her body before tugging on a big pull-over sweater and pair of shorts.

Her feet sing a chorus from the angels as her stilettos are tugged off, replaced with comfy socks and converse. She checks her makeup in the mirror as she passes, smudging away a stray eyeliner wing and pulling her ginger locks into a loose bun. A sigh leaves her bright red lips, stray bills being shoved into her purse as she leaves from behind the stage and towards the back entrance. Lexus passes a few of her coworkers, giving them loving goodbyes and patting one of the bodyguards on the shoulder in a silent “good job”. She doesn’t need his help, and he knows, but her appreciation is still expressed regardless.

The redhead exists the building, shivering slightly at the harsh Colorado air and she makes a beeline for her car. The vehicle springs to life with a click of a button and the redhead slips into the driver seat and immediately pulls out of the parking lot. It takes off down the street, only stopping to retrieve a bottle of liquor and a pack of smokes from a gas station. She’s not old enough to legally buy, but her and her mother are so well known by most of the staff that the look the other way when she comes to pick up her mother’s “medicine”. Items in hand, Lexus continues the drive back to the trailer park and enters through the front door with a “I’m home Mama. I got somethin’ for you,” before the door is shut behind her and she’s finally separated from the world for the night. Headcanons:

She carries a bat in her backseat and a pistol in her purse

She’ll kick your ass

She’s the group mother, very protective of her girls

Lexus is afraid of bugs and WILL scream if she sees one before smashing it to death

She has never had a girlfriend or boyfriend simply because they’re too much work

She doesn’t really believe in love, except for the love she has for her mother.

Lexus is NOT ashamed of her careers and is actually very proud of her body. She believes it’s empowering and that she basically owns every man in South Park because of it

Anything else: hmmmmm im gay

#Alexis Martin #Lexus Martin #application #Admin Samantha #submission

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dogboymutual · 7 years ago

Note

excuse my french but, what LE FUCK is clone high

OH THANK GOD I GET TO EXPLAIN SOMETHING I CARE ABOUT BLESS

Clone High is a (sadly) cancelled TV show that only had one season. The show focuses on the concept of historical figures being cloned as high school students and dealing with issues that come with being a teenager, created by Chris Miller and Phil Lord, the dudes behind the first Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, 21 and 22 Jump Street, and The Lego Movie.

The main 5 characters are:

Abe (voiced by Will Forte) is the main protagonist of the series. He’s probably the closest to his historical counterpart in that he wants to make Abraham Lincoln proud. He has a crush on Cleo, and Joan has a crush on him. He’s generally incredibly awkward and naive. His best friend is Gandhi and he has a rivalry with JFK.

Joan (voiced by Nicole Sullivan) is a clone of Joan of Arc and is one of Abe’s best friends, and his closest confidante. She has a crush on Abe but eventually gets together with JFK after realizing that she doesn’t like the way Abe treats her. She’s also a liberal revolutionist.

Gandhi (voiced by Michael McDonald) is a clone of Mahatma Gandhi, and is essentially the most controversial character in the show. He has ADHD and really strives to be like his counterpart, but is also very interested in partying. He’s in a relationship with Marie Curie.

JFK (voiced by Chris Miller) is Abe’s on-and-off again rival, and the on-and-off again boyfriend of Cleo. He’s arrogant, sex-crazed, popular, and a jock. He truly cares for Joan as she is, and they start a relationship at the end.

Cleo (voiced by Christa Miller) is Abe’s love interest and later girlfriend. She’s self-absorbed, vain, and often mean-spirited, but she does have a softer side -- she helps Joan from time to time!

There are also the main antagonists:

Principal Scudworth [Dr. Cinnamon J. Scudworth] (voiced by Phil Lord) is the principal of the school, and wants to use the clones as hypothetical attractions for his theme park, Cloney Island. He’s as hilarious as his motives sound.

Mr. Butlertron (voiced by Chris Miller) is Scudworth’s robot butler assistant. He calls everyone Wesley. He’s also programmed to be sentient and have emotions. Exciting.

The Shadowy Figure (voiced by Bill Lawrence), as well as The Secret Board of Shadowy Figures, are supervisors over the school and the clones. They want to use the clones for a super army. They’re pretty cool. The government is watching you.

highlights include:

an entire episode where everyone gets high off of smoking raisins. it’s a musical episode

a kiss between abe and gandhi

vincent van gogh

say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT ... “say what.”

gandhi and george washington carver (the guy who invented peanut butter) buddy cop movie

hot goth girl joan of arc

jfk’s gay adopted dads

“nothing bad ever happens to the kennedys”

marilyn manson teaching you about the food pyramid

abe vs. jfk student council president campaign

joan and jfk’s entire relationship arc

in conclusion, please watch all 13 episodes they’re hilarious and they’re great

#clone high #asks #thank you!#awesome anons #bree talks about things they like #Anonymous

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weareone2020 · 5 years ago

Audio

Cyndi Lauper is a huge LGBT+ ally. She was ecstatic when the song true colors had a lot of meaning to many people. It impacted a lot of members and helped them come out to reveal who they truly were inside. In 2007, Lauper launched the "True Colors Tour" in an effort to support gay rights and fight hate crimes. Throughout the world there are many hate crimes to not only the LGBT+ community to other communities too. Luckily there is someone who cares deeply about others and their well being and that is Lauper.

AUDIENCE REACTIONS:

1.) Chance The Raisin9 months ago

What a beautiful performance! I was 18 years old when I came out as being gay, and you were my inspiration so many years ago during a sold out concert with Cher during her 1st farewell tour. You came out with a pride flag wrapped around you sharing with all of us in the Kansas City Arena its okay to be gay and don't be afraid to show your true colors. I've never been more in love with myself than I was that night. I even cried, and I told my friends after they got back from smoking I was no longer going to hide who I am. I came out that night, and I have never looked back! Thank you for being such an inspiration to so many.

2.) Alan Silva4 months ago (edited)

This Song makes me cry. She did it for her friend who died from HIV. He was a gay man...and in those times, things were harder for a gay person.

3.) Nick P2 years ago

She was always radical, but even with all that individuality, there was always an inherent innocence almost naivety about her music that slowly dismantled all your presences and left you fully exposed to the entire onslaught of the beauty of her music. A million years from now, you hear her music for the billionth time...and it feels like time never moved from the very first time you heard it.

0 notes

bookwyrmling · 7 years ago

Text

100 Questions

Tagged by @zombizombi (ty dearie) a while back.

below a cut for length!

1. Coffee or tea? Tea, but never black. 2. Black and white or color? I appreciate all forms of light. 3. Drawings or paintings? That I make? Drawings (not well anymore, please don’t ask). Too look at? Why not both? 4. Dresses or skirts? Dresses. I’m lazy. 5. Books or movies? Books. Definitely books. 6. Pepsi or Coke? Coke...with rum and a slice of lime. No, seriously, I can’t drink soda without alcohol to cut the carbonation down. 7. Chinese or Italian? I’m guessing this is about food? Italian tends to be my ‘easy’ go-to but Chinese just tastes so good. If it’s the language, I don’t know either but may be able to use Spanish to piecemeal meaning out of Italian. 8. Early bird or night owl? Is there a bird for people who just like to sleep all the time? (for real, tho, a night owl trying to be an early bird) 9. Chocolate or vanilla? VANILLA. I’d rather not die. 10. Introvert or extrovert? I’m such an introvert it’s painful. 11. Hugs or kisses? Ask first; depends on the mood. Hugs more acceptable than kisses. 12. Hunting or fishing? I was actually off fishing when I was originally tagged in this! I haven’t hunted before, but I’d be up for learning. 13. Winter or summer? WINTER. *is a hot gay* 14. Spring or fall? Fall is gorgeous and cool and wet and comes right after the horror of summer heat and I love it. 15. Rural or urban? Urban. If I don’t live in the middle of things, I become a hermit. When I live in the middle of things I’m only mostly a hermit. 16. PC or Mac? My first comp was a mac and I learned on macs, but then switched to PC when their price point started dropping and I have no clue how to work a mac anymore. 17. Tan or pale? I am so stupidly white *cries* 18. Cake or pie? Cake, but only if it’s buttercream frosting. None of that whipped crap. 19. Ice cream or yogurt? Ice cream <3 20. Ketchup or mustard? Mustard 21. Sweet pickles or dill pickles? Dill is the only type of pickle that exists. 22. Comedy or mystery? Mystery. 23. Boots or sandals? Sandals, tho barefoot is even better. 24. Silver or gold? Silver. Yellow gold looks a little odd with my skin tone. 25. Pop or Rock? I’ll listen to just about anything *shrugs* 26. Dancing or singing? Both. I was a show choir nerd. 27. Checkers or chess? Checkers. Chess is way too intense. 28. Board games or video games? Board games. 29. Wine or beer? Both have their times. 30. Freckles or dimples? I have both. Which do I prefer? *shrugs* People’s faces look nice with or without either. 31. Honey mustard or BBQ sauce? BBQ sauce 32. Body weight exercises or lifting weights? I don’t have weights. 33. Baseball or basketball? Neither? Baseball is way too slow and basketball just never caught my interest. 34. Crossword puzzles or sudokus? Sudoku. I like numbers. 35. Facial hair or clean shaven? No preference? It doesn’t matter to me. 36. Crushed ice or cubed ice? Crushed 37. Skiing or snowboarding? Sledding 38. Smile or game face? Smile 39. Bracelet or necklace? Necklace 40. Fruit or vegetables? Fruits 41. Sausage or bacon? Turkey bacon 42. Scrambled or fried? Scrambled, unless there’s hashbrowns to mix it with, then fried over-medium 43. Dark chocolate or white chocolate? Chocolate allergy. 44. Tattoos or piercings? Considering a tattoo; piercings all closed up. 45. Antique or brand new? *shrugs* both? 46. Dress up or dress down? Down. Have I mentioned I’m lazy? 47. Cowboys or aliens? How about cowboy aliens? 48. Cats or dogs? Cats. 49. Pancakes or waffles? Waffles. 50. Bond or Bourne? Neither ever really caught my interest. I’d love to see Idris Elba as Bond, tho 51. Sci-Fi or fantasy? Yes. 52. Numbers or letters? Numbers. 53. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings? They’re both pretty okay. I don’t have much attachment to either. 54. Fair or theme park? Theme park 55. Money or fame? Money makes the world go round the world go round the world go round~ 56. Washing dishes or doing laundry? Dishes. You can technically actually finish dishes. 57. Snakes or sharks? BOTH. 58. Orange juice or apple juice? orange juice frozen <3 59. Sunrise or sunset? Sunrise 60. Slacker or over-achiever? Over-achiever with executive function problems 61. Pen or pencil? Pencil 62. Peanut butter or jelly? Peanut butter 63. Grammys or Oscars? Neither 64. Detailed or abstract? Detailed. Highly detailed. 65. Multiple choice questions or essay questions? multiple choice 66. Adventurous or cautious? cautious adventurer (i’m stealing your answer for this one, zombi) 67. Saver or spender? Saver 68. Glasses or contacts? Glasses 69. Laptop or desktop? Laptop 70. Classic or modern? Classic 71. Personal chef or personal fitness trainer? If I could afford? Fitness trainer. I honestly don’t know where to start. 72. Internet or cell phone? Internet 73. Call or text? Text 74. Curly hair or straight hair? If I braid it and let it dry, it’s curly. If I brush it out while it air dries, it’s straight. This stays until the next time it gets wet no matter what you do. 75. Shower in the morning or shower in the evening? Morning 76. Spicy or mild? Spicy 77. Marvel or DC? Dark Horse 78. Paying a mortgage or paying rent? Rent 79. Sky dive or bungee jump? My feet stay connected to something at all times, tyvm 80. Oreos or Chips Ahoy? Golden Oreos 81. Jello or pudding? Jello 82. Truth or dare? Truth 83. Roller coaster or Ferris wheel? Roller coaster 84. Leather or denim? Denim 85. Stripes or solids? Solids 86. Bagels or muffins? Bagels. Real bagels. 87. Whole wheat or white? I make my own sourdough. 88. Beads or pearls? Pearls 89. Hardwood or carpet? Hardwood. Carpet is disgusting. 90. Bright colors or neutral tones? Neutrals 91. Be older than you are or younger than you are? My age is fine as it is. 92. Raisins or nuts? Nuts 93. Picnic or nice restaurant? Picnic lunch, nice restaurant dinner. 94. Black leather or brown leather? Both. 95. Long hair or short hair? Long. 96. “Ready, aim, fire” or “Ready, fire, aim”? Why would you fire before you’ve aimed? Is this a reference to something? If it is, I don’t get it. 97. Fiction or non-fiction? Fiction 98. Smoking or non-smoking? Non-Smoking 99. Think before you talk or talk before you think? Think first. Always. 100. Asking questions or answering questions? Conversations tend to be best when all parties do an equal amount of both.

tagging: @whiskeytangofrogman, @embyrr922, @solosorca, @voxofthevoid, @moonliel

#about linnea

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yoursummerfrost · 7 years ago

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Tagged by @bitsandshits ! And I’ll taggggg @abominableobriens @zombizombi @disarmd @samwell-womens-hockey @shipped-goldstandard @polyamorousparson @omgpbandj @blithelybonny @soundslikepenance

Answers under the cut because it’s loooong

1. Coffee or tea? Coffeeeeeeeee 2. Black and white or color? So. Much. Color.

3. Drawings or paintings? Paintings! 4. Dresses or skirts? Dresses 5. Books or movies? Fics > movies > books 6. Pepsi or Coke? Coke 7. Chinese or Italian? Italian! 8. Early bird or night owl? Suchhhhh a night owl 9. Chocolate or vanilla? Vanilla ice cream, chocolate otherwise 10. Introvert or extrovert? Extremely outgoing ambivert 11. Hugs or kisses? Kisses :-* 12. Hunting or fishing? Neither, please :( 13. Winter or summer? SUMMER, which I am clinging to with my tiny queer hands 14. Spring or fall? Fall but only so I can wear bi flannels 15. Rural or urban? Urban, please never make me leave my city 16. PC or Mac? PC 17. Tan or pale? i am very pale lol 18. Cake or pie? Uhhhh icecream cake? 19. Ice cream or yogurt? Ice cream 20. Ketchup or mustard? Mayo 21. Sweet pickles or dill pickles? Dill pickles 22. Comedy or mystery? Comedyyyy 23. Boots or sandals? Sandals 24. Silver or gold? Silver 25. Pop or Rock? ........pop-rock 26. Dancing or singing? Both at the same time 27. Checkers or chess? chess 28. Board games or video games? board gameeeesss 29. Wine or beer? Wine 30. Freckles or dimples? Freckles 31. Honey mustard or BBQ sauce? honey mustard 3000% 32. Body weight exercises or lifting weights? Body weight? 33. Baseball or basketball? Baseball because I’m sure N is gonna make me care wayyyy too much about softball soon 34. Crossword puzzles or sudokus? Sudoku 35. Facial hair or clean shaven? So much facial hair please 36. Crushed ice or cubed ice? Cubes 37. Skiing or snowboarding? Skiing 38. Smile or game face? :D 39. Bracelet or necklace? necklace 40. Fruit or vegetables? veggies 41. Sausage or bacon? bacon 42. Scrambled or fried? scrambled 43. Dark chocolate or white chocolate? daaark 44. Tattoos or piercings? Tattooooooooos 45. Antique or brand new? Brand new! 46. Dress up or dress down? Up!!! 47. Cowboys or aliens? Aliens 48. Cats or dogs? :3 49. Pancakes or waffles? Pancakes 50. Bond or Bourne? Bi Bond plz? 51. Sci-Fi or fantasy? Sci-Fi 52. Numbers or letters? Numbers 53. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings? Harry Potter 54. Fair or theme park? Fair 55. Money or fame? Money plz 56. Washing dishes or doing laundry? DISHES FUCK LAUNDRY 57. Snakes or sharks? Snakessss 58. Orange juice or apple juice? Orange 59. Sunrise or sunset? Sunset 60. Slacker or over-achiever? Both, simultaneously, at all times 61. Pen or pencil? Pen 62. Peanut butter or jelly? peanut butter 63. Grammys or Oscars? Grammys 64. Detailed or abstract? Abstract 65. Multiple choice questions or essay questions? Essay 66. Adventurous or cautious? Adventureeee 67. Saver or spender? Spender 68. Glasses or contacts? Contacts for me, glasses on others 69. Laptop or desktop? laptop 70. Classic or modern? Modern 71. Personal chef or personal fitness trainer? Like, as a career? Both sound like hell. I’d rather hire a chef tho 72. Internet or cell phone? How can I have a cell phone without internet? 73. Call or text? Text 74. Curly hair or straight hair? Curls 75. Shower in the morning or shower in the evening? Either or 76. Spicy or mild? As much spice as I can handle (which tbf isn’t much lol) 77. Marvel or DC? Marvel in general but DC gave me Wonder Woman soooooo 78. Paying a mortgage or paying rent? Rent 79. Sky dive or bungee jump? Bungee 80. Oreos or Chips Ahoy? oreos 81. Jello or pudding? Jello 82. Truth or dare? Dare 83. Roller coaster or Ferris wheel? roller coaster 84. Leather or denim? leather 85. Stripes or solids? stripes 86. Bagels or muffins? bagels 87. Whole wheat or white? Wheat 88. Beads or pearls? Pearls 89. Hardwood or carpet? hardwood 90. Bright colors or neutral tones? bright coloooorrrrsss 91. Be older than you are or younger than you are? Can I be 22 forever? 92. Raisins or nuts? Nuts 93. Picnic or nice restaurant? Fancyyyyy af 94. Black leather or brown leather? Brown 95. Long hair or short hair? Short :D 96. “Ready, aim, fire” or “Ready, fire, aim”? what 97. Fiction or non-fiction? fiction 98. Smoking or non-smoking? non-smoking 99. Think before you talk or talk before you think? Realistically, talk first lmao 100. Asking questions or answering questions? Answering, plz slather me in attention

#personal

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bitsandshits · 7 years ago

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I got tagged in this so long ago and I saw it and forgot about it and nobody is surprised in the least

Thanks though @peppernine, @yoursummerfrost I’m gonna make you do it now (if you wanna)

1. Coffee or tea? Coffee 2. Black and white or color? Color for most art, but black and grey for tattoos 3. Drawings or paintings? oh god I don’t know, both? 4. Dresses or skirts? dresses, skirts invariably look weird on me 5. Books or movies? books 6. Pepsi or Coke? All pop is gross and idc what anyone says, it’s called pop 7. Chinese or Italian? Chinese 8. Early bird or night owl? APPARENTLY IM A MORNING PERSON NOW WHO KNOWS HOW THE FUCK THAT HAPPENED 9. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate 10. Introvert or extrovert? I’m a shockingly friendly socially anxious introvert, people are either shocked by how good with people I am or shocked to find out that I’m introverted and mad socially anxious, it’s a constant source of amusement for me 11. Hugs or kisses? how the fuck am I supposed to choose??? 12. Hunting or fishing? I straight up refuse to do either, but I guess if I really had to choose I’d fish. My grandpa is constantly disappointed that I wont anymore though 13. Winter or summer? mmmmMMMMM god fuck if I know, I guess summer??? 14. Spring or fall? FALL IS MY SHIT 15. Rural or urban? Urban, I get bored easily 16. PC or Mac? PC 17. Tan or pale? If you’re asking me what I am, I’m a ginger and therefore Pale As Fuck 18. Cake or pie? Generally pie 19. Ice cream or yogurt? ice cream 20. Ketchup or mustard? ketchup but tbh, I’m one of those people that will put ranch on fucking everything 21. Sweet pickles or dill pickles? all pickles are disgusting 22. Comedy or mystery? mystery, but comedy if it’s well done 23. Boots or sandals? boots, preferably of the leather variety 24. Silver or gold? Probably gold 25. Pop or Rock? hmmm I’ll say pop cause I’m really into Halsey’s and Kesha’s new stuff right now but punk is my true love 26. Dancing or singing? I can’t do either but I like to sing a lot anyhow 27. Checkers or chess? I don’t know how either works but I like reading about Harry and Ron playing wizard chess 28. Board games or video games? board games I guess but I don’t do either of these either 29. Wine or beer? I like the taste of wine a lot but if I’m going for feeling of inebriation, I find really vodka is where it’s at 30. Freckles or dimples? dimples, perhaps cause I’m full of freckles so it really doesn’t hold much appeal for me 31. Honey mustard or BBQ sauce? Look, ranch is where it’s at idk what to tell you 32. Body weight exercises or lifting weights? lifting weights cause im not even strong enough for body weight anymore fuck 33. Baseball or basketball? basketball I guess, but the only sport I actually like is hockey 34. Crossword puzzles or sudokus? crosswords 35. Facial hair or clean shaven? Clean shaven, only a very very few people can pull off facial hair tbh 36. Crushed ice or cubed ice? cubed 37. Skiing or snowboarding? these are both a solid way for me to break a bone/die 38. Smile or game face? smile! 39. Bracelet or necklace? necklace 40. Fruit or vegetables? vegetables 41. Sausage or bacon? bacon 42. Scrambled or fried? scrambled is the only way I’ll eat them 43. Dark chocolate or white chocolate? I’m a baby, I can’t do dark chocolate 44. Tattoos or piercings? Oh man I have SUCH a thing for both but I’ll go with tattoos 45. Antique or brand new? I’m afraid to break either 46. Dress up or dress down? Dress up 47. Cowboys or aliens? Depends, are aliens as gay as cowboys are? 48. Cats or dogs? I have a cat tattoo if that gives you an idea 49. Pancakes or waffles? Waffles but only with chocolate chips and no syrup 50. Bond or Bourne? I have no idea what this is referring to 51. Sci-Fi or fantasy? Fantasy 52. Numbers or letters? Letters I guess, math can get fucked 53. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings? Harry Potter, no question 54. Fair or theme park? theme park 55. Money or fame? Money, I would hate being famous oh my god 56. Washing dishes or doing laundry? I’m currently putting off doing both, but in general laundry 57. Snakes or sharks? How could you make me choose??? Sharks, purely because they’re water animals 58. Orange juice or apple juice? orange 59. Sunrise or sunset? Sunset 60. Slacker or over-achiever? Over achiever in everything but school, where I’m a slacker 61. Pen or pencil? Pen 62. Peanut butter or jelly? peanut butter 63. Grammys or Oscars? ngl I’m not sure what either of these are for 64. Detailed or abstract? Detailed 65. Multiple choice questions or essay questions? Multiple choice, I can usually guess pretty well even if I don’t know shit 66. Adventurous or cautious? adventurous as long as someone else is choosing the adventure 67. Saver or spender? saver 68. Glasses or contacts? glasses, on myself and other people 69. Laptop or desktop? laptop 70. Classic or modern? classic 71. Personal chef or personal fitness trainer? I desperately need both tbh 72. Internet or cell phone? internet 73. Call or text? text, I have trouble processing speech 74. Curly hair or straight hair? i fucking love curls 75. Shower in the morning or shower in the evening? heavily depends on my schedule 76. Spicy or mild? I’m a baby, mild as fuck 77. Marvel or DC? marvel 78. Paying a mortgage or paying rent? rent at this point in my lief 79. Sky dive or bungee jump? I’m terrified of heights 80. Oreos or Chips Ahoy? oreos 81. Jello or pudding? After putting jello in my hair for years, I will never be able to eat it again 82. Truth or dare? truth, I’m a wimp who will tell anyone anything 83. Roller coaster or Ferris wheel? roller coaster 84. Leather or denim? leather 85. Stripes or solids? Solids 86. Bagels or muffins? muffins 87. Whole wheat or white? Wheat 88. Beads or pearls? Pearls 89. Hardwood or carpet? hardwood 90. Bright colors or neutral tones? neutrals in clothing, bright colors otherwise 91. Be older than you are or younger than you are? older, unless I could be younger again but this time without mental illness 92. Raisins or nuts? Nuts 93. Picnic or nice restaurant? Nice restaurant 94. Black leather or brown leather? Black 95. Long hair or short hair? my hair currently goes down to the small of my back 96. “Ready, aim, fire” or “Ready, fire, aim”? the... second one???? obviously??? 97. Fiction or non-fiction? fiction 98. Smoking or non-smoking? i fucking love cigarettes but I will never let myself smoke an entire one cause I refuse to allow myself to get addicted 99. Think before you talk or talk before you think? I try very very hard to think first 100. Asking questions or answering questions? answering, I love talking about myself, please ask me questions

#personal

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tnp4tbowm · 7 years ago

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THOTS & PRAYERS FOR THE BROTHERHOOD OF WHITE MEN

is what I’m gonna call this mess

since we’re the demo that does them best

if thots and prayers mean acting less

or voting against marginalized groups with minority stress… as if women at conference tables… and brown folks in dorms… need white guys subtracting more… and I know we use categories for making sense… and giving names to groups we haven’t met

but no

WHY DO YOU HATE WHITE MEN THAT’S LIKE ME SAYING I HATE FAGGOTS AND LATINAS

my brother

on the phone while I’m at an intersection

but what about flesh in the grass and women in ironworking and los trumpistas in southern california and pixie boys in kootenai county and ill-eagles fireworks on the skokomish reservation and mothers nursing children in rocking chairs at spokane international airport… and steer ropers staring in horses’ eyes… and words so strong they become actions like “guilty” and “I hereby pronounce you”

I want to say

it comes down to

while animals aim for physical victory bc they’re rewarded by evolutionary gain… my brother aims for high-volume sucker-punching bc… well same

no no no I reassure myself… I’ve prepared for this moment… covering my bedroom walls with butcher paper and definitions for agápē and wisdom and grace

the light turns green

in seattle where my boyfriend and I saw a band named “boyfriends”… consisting of three guys some with girlfriends maybe play-acting “gay”

not the faggot town I grew up in

did I say faggot town

flipped my thoughts

I live with faggots now

bc of course I moved away

from where I was raised… where ladies in subdivisions filled rusted bathtubs with dahlias… and re-arranged living room sectionals and side tables… and guys in trailer parks worked on TVs in their yards

I never smeared deer blood on my face after a kill… and neither did my brother

we never paintballed stop signs… or climbed trees to catch squirrels (the unofficial after-school workout of the wrestling team)… or nailed the bloody skins to the weight room wall… or chilled in the parking lot with the tenth-grade science teacher slash security guard

where I grew up

white trash was designated white as opposed to other dodgy colors

wonder if the cafeteria table at school still says derek smith is a fag… I see blocky letters behind my eyes… nirvana on the lawn… holding a stick next to a praying mantis… hoping she’ll crawl on

live in the same place long enough and the frogs will be gone

each year I bike a block further

find certainty in school

lay around and think about what's true

leave cleats books water bottles in the living room

train for x-country in july and august… dream of anthropology and art history in college… parents fill out FAFSA forms

unconscious

at the intersection of my privs

square jaw wide grip

I give in

I say to my brother

driving by the gaybucks

are you serious? I ask... you want to do this rn? you think I hate white men? you didn’t show much interest in my self-hatred when we were teens

we were raised to read widely on top of doing our homework for English class… stories about white men unable to find work or shelter… I stayed awake by reading one chapter in the basement of our three-story home and another chapter in the bath… and another chapter in the basement… and another in the bath

it was 1997 and everyone was wearing ck jeans and eternity cologne and disappearing into the wood paneling of their basements

not everyone wrote a 5-paragraph paper on why abortion was wrong

but I did

most people ate the pro-life sundaes at youth group

as the tin man in our high school production of “The Wizard of Oz”… I dreamed of a fabulous life in the emerald city… while listening to conservatives in the community complain about the presence of witches and pagan values in the play… a few token liberals described how the Wicked Witch’s green skin and Glinda’s button nose… equated virtue with appearance

I worked on a farm for $

hi-ho the derrrrrrrrry-o

faggot on the farm

flesh in the grass

telling stories and pulling weeds as I acknowledged “weed” was a human category… for life distinct from other forms of life… standing out in color and shape… budding out of place

when I got home I studied Zanie’s backwoods dialect in Zora Neale Hurston’s “Their Eyes Were Watching God”

four years later

ash-covered New Yorkers crossed the Brooklyn Bridge with their hands on their faces

I picked blueberries on Mount Rainier… asked if subalpine flowers should smell like dryer sheets… if lakes should be toilet tab blue

¾” threaded galvanized pipe two chain links eye bolts flag

supplies list from the guy at the rest-stop on the way home… old glory should stand up to a 96 mile trip up to 70 mph

I went to work folding taco wrappers into triangles like nothing had happened… and made food with beef that showed up in boxes marked “fit for human consumption”… staging mexi-fries under heat lamps in groups of two or three

while boy george (w.) signed the Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism act

after work I slept in self-inflicted poverty in a house full of guys who did backyard enemas and drank jars of pee and kept mushroom journals… and changed my opinion about property ownership… bc why bother storing up treasure when human possession is an illusion… and condoleeza rice has a chevron tanker named after her

we argued about earth history and theological precepts like pre-destination

but agreed

god’s complacent

should be more like the hippie guy in the volkswagen van… with Eden Before The Fall painted one side… and Eden After The Fall on the other… and a nice patch of grass growing on top

textbooks copied screens

fireplaces provided intimacy w/o heat

virtual experiences dominated references in speech

green-tongued goats on forest service roads licked antifreeze

we asked if the phone was real or surround sound prestige... did the spin instructor in the windowless gym want sixty percent on hills or ninety percent on streets… is the norway maple transplanted to the front lawn of the new house conveying a line of aristocratic family wealth

an old-growth tree

the entrepreneur in an education workshop talked about “products” metaphorically

a patriot/explorer on a mustang/bronco went on an expedition/excursion to the frontier/tundra… passing through the winnebago tribe saying

srry bout it

the kids on the makah reservation don’t want whale sandwiches

wal-mart got blue and target red

white wonder bread

happy meals

j. christ

c.e.o.

5 lb cereal

4 brown ghosts

the speaker at the commencement ceremony joked, “what’s the difference between Pullman and a cup of yogurt?”

the cup of yogurt has more culture

zuckerberg’s hoodie went from “disregard for convention” to “purity of intention”… for someone too focused to worry about clothes… monastic gray was helping folks

now we’re here

we’re here

at the mindfulness weight loss retreat… three raisins… six almonds… the right herbal tincture… twenty minutes in the redwoods

dragging

the past in front of us bc it happened

we’re at home eating pancakes with butter and syrup and powdered sugar… but the sugar is crushed-up hydroxycut

city buildings capture sun for the 20%

hey shadows

and data-mining companies have been adding my places of employment and the mesh shorts I almost bought… and the dreams I deferred and the shows I watch… to their digital dossier of me… and I guess the gazing goes one way but not the other… like church… where predictive analytics play upon thirsts… and hunt me down like unicorn shirts

what’s next

trees drop plastic fruits

domesticated deer eat out of troughs

stunt-double bears rent suits in parking lots

forest rangers lasso the last of the orioles and roll up the sky

we learn

the last time I had a long island iced was... the last time I had a long island iced tea

seeeeeeeeeeeeeee

bro

I’m doing better

you’re like me

except I’m a busybody

with no kids

wish: “pc lecture with moral authoritarian tone by urban elite who reflexively rejects critiques of globalization”… reads “fearless inventory in a world where ‘quinoa empanadas’ are a thing… and platters of deviled eggs watch the horizon”

so even as I call your baby’s bedroom view of the skyline from your island home

privilege bestowed

I call out myself

for lavender cookies and oatmeal soap

never noticing appropriation in cartoon indian smokes

white peace pipe under a red sun on a yellow box

database of ruin snapshots

you know how I spent those years teaching high school in gig harbor… what you don’t know is I had two Hispanic sisters… Maria and Paula… spend a quarter translating children’s books on sticky notes

they

smiled

yawned

bored

I was their teacher and offered “support”

(but if you need more… in 2009 I was plucking spraying spiking shaving shoving… like the guys on jersey shore… watched every episode and called it my reward… for getting through two president bushes)

the founding fathers designed our branches of government to withstand the likes of King George

(also: granted love to gather more of it, shirked a wrong but lorded over it)

psychologically spiraling… debating if I should share the video of the first lady in the blue dress staring at her feet during inaugural prayer… wondering if I’m feeling personal irritability or existential despair… if I have “compassion fatigue” from doing “emotional labor” in my newsfeed

why someone hasn’t invented a female-friendly pee trough between the knees… why menopausal sensuality gets teased… why testosterone means feeling confident about incorrect answers

have the decency to feel guilty

living off the massive retail workforce stocking big-box brick-and-mortar stores and online fulfillment centers

what did we expect

detaching personal accountability from global effects

what did you think

watching nature documentaries frame lions as villains… positing giraffes as victims… when we know aggression isn’t something “we get out of our systems”

but confessing rings wrong

I say to my brother

pulling up to my apartment home

ear hot from the phone

how’s the kid

peeing blood

good… he’s got a kitchen set with a stove and dishwasher… he cooks plastic things while he toot-toots… farts on command... he says

I hope he’s reading “Radical American Women A-Z” and “The Adventures of Toni the Tampon”… I say… and playing with the nine new ken dolls with ethnically ambiguous face-sculpts… developing new play patterns… bc brown kids asked to play with “the good doll” choose the white doll… and still grow up overly disciplined at school… by administrators analyzing “racial predictability and dis-proportionality in achievement categories”… without saying the word “racist”

I like body positive post-holiday ken his paunch

also our white immigrant ancestors got rich enslaving Blacks

(the rest of the starter kit for understanding institutional injustice can be found online @ www.google.com)

(intermediate: people of color fight against constructed realities… internally and externally… and the racial imaginary overlaps with the gay imaginary bc invisible people need some space to practice their fkn moves… but what about time and place… whose ear does the hearing… which mouth translates)

o say can I… being me… understand how corporate restructuring shows one face and sublimates others… contributes to oppression where double consciousness affects women and people of color

o say can I hear the oppressors’ voices renegotiate my thoughts decolonize space

where do I fit in? will there be room for me? how do I make room for others?

my brother suddenly has to go asks if you’ll be him on the phone

yes

it's complicated

but yes

(if you're not my brother and the request is nbd bc you've always heard the voices of white men… I invite you to continue… if you’d rather not… peace be with you… let’s hang soon… I love you)

and right there did you feel that [ [ [ [

in actual life we aren’t there yet… I hung up the phone after “faggots and Latinas”... bc my hands were shaking so hard I could barely steer

typical of you to back out of conversation before we say the hurtful things you say

before we say the hurtful things? before? I ask

1) well at least I finally have the upper hand with you thinking you can threaten broken bonds 2) I’ve never seen two belief systems more perfectly in line 3) I guess you stand for democratic values most of the time

we’ll never know what’s depraved and what's divine… I can’t read hearts and I can’t read minds

already I had escaped into the televised self-help seminar in my head… where I am the host rolling up my sleeves… ready to hear from household cleaner huffing sisters… and visualize problems worse than mine

after the commercial break I engage the girls in patient-therapist interactions... mixing hard-hitting realism and hypersensitive dialogue… as intolerable and inauthentic as my wife’s bouffant

basically I’m dr. phil… but also… if it’s okay with you… I’d love to try being the girls… who haven’t seen their father since they were two

and later during the re-tape… the visiting expert with a new self-help book… explains the “colorization of the soul”… saying “I think it makes sense to nurture the ‘daily me’ before skimming the news… look here… on the color rubric… reds before blues”

red apples picked by farm workers with multiple SSNs

blue mechanics in overalls twirling ballpoint pens

white eggshell enamel over pink or saccharine

symbols up for grabs… by anyone… bc that’s what I was told growing up and believed… I can be anyone I wanna be

hope the same for Muslim girls wearing spandex hijabs in P.E.

our country is not exempt… when campaign rallies look like nests… but I know I’m like… eighty-two percent spoon-fed/tone-deaf

tomorrow

is a child’s flying drone-wish… where native plants have extraordinary ability visas like the biebs… germinate round-up ready soft white wheat… and facial recognition software on my self-driving truck beeps… bc I’m not wearing guyliner… and lack ethereum cryptocurrency

so I walk into a bar and borrow liquid pencil

apply it in the mirror by the urinal

remembrance of things pabst

love comes in spurts

the worst

hasn’t

hap-

pened

be around

thanks

I’ll be a morel mushroom full of vitamin d in the dark

an emerald city queer in the shadow of Rainier where bark is bark

mist from the Nisqually River rolls above the fast part

torrent > P2P file sharing

a robot hands me a warm towel after yoga… scans my sweat for communicable diseases

construction workers buy baguettes out of a wheelbarrow… from my kids

paid in no-nuance knockoff dramatized black lady gifs

blood on their faces hunting feral pigs

allahu akbar… on the fortieth click… means more than the first search results about jihadist battle cries… jihad… means more than the first search results about holy wars

as-salaam aleikum… peace be unto you

saw-lahm

all-lay-koooooooom

while keeping an eye on the horizon

for crowd estimation software in weather balloons

across the un-crossable Puget Sound

not really

we live in western wash.

what I’m saying is… I’m not traveling down Tolkien’s path… climbing Silverstein’s precipice… crossing a toothpick pier… or boarding a balsa wood boat… for a “dialogue event”… when I see you across this metaphorical inlet

not everything overlaps… smoke + fog = smog… marionette + puppet = muppet… enchilada + burrito = enchurrito… intermingling > provinciality…but apple slices on guacamole is white people saying to Mexicans we want your food and want to “touch” it too

eww

I want the queer bar full of queers… and that’s true of any gathering place… the identity shifts with who’s there and who stays… for physical touch and feeling safe... and cultural intensification... we congregate

I could never hate feminist separatists reading sappho by lyre

agrarian nationalists and queer energy collectives disappear

cross the cascades… to north idaho… passport in hand to show agents at the skin of the bubble… preparing for my cousin the welder… who can’t get out of his trailer… and my dad who says seat belts and metric measurements are communist and has a legal pad with instructions for working the computer

the girl on the greyhound says she didn’t go to college for four years to sit on her ass and bake cookies

been awhile

a few days later I ride in the back of our uncle’s truck to the parade… where grandma reminds me to keep my beer tabs so kristy will get a party for her class… as we set up folding chairs on the sidewalk… to watch shriners on little cars… and wave at hooters girls on the make-a-wish float… the mayor… always pooping in other people’s pants… grandma says… as we find ourselves standing and clapping for the coeur d’alene tribe

after mayor and police go by

later help grandma make tater tot hot dish... wrap the pan in a bath towel she pulls from a cabinet full of towels stacked vertically like pizza boxes

small talk

fawn over the s’mores pie with graham cracker crumbs on bottom and top… especially the marshmallowy middle

oh oops

did I go there

pre-prayer

here’s the thing… the alliances we need to overcome the monster are never what we think they are… and seeing anti-american sentiment in the firmament… and indicator species’ temperaments… reminds us the world collects… and/or usurps the throne… the debt is more than we think we owe… there won’t be polite knocking or ceremonial drumming… by so-called “others” we didn’t see coming

solution… testing limits… and I don’t mean excusing myself to get the wings by the jumper cables in the trunk… walking back in and telling everyone angel gabriel is here… saying… oh I guess this isn’t… is this not the sexy jesus party with a crucifix selfie station?

omg that hoe over there

our arguments are basically light divisions… internal-only obstacles where I go back and forth debating

I know

this makes you wanna scream into the phone

well

here’s a semi-autobiographical lyric novella in the form of an epic poem

typical passive progressiveness… I can’t even talk to you face-to-face… when you wanna chill by the water tank… I communicate via popsicle stick messages in the gutter / everyone on tumblr

one thing’s for sure… we’re giving up some things... s’mores pie is on the table… but it’s not on the table… of sacrifices I’ll be making… bc I love s’mores pie

we don’t wanna give up anything but we have to try

our lives are characterized by conveniences with steep costs

like celery and bell peppers and onions already chopped

people with invisibility powers can’t be stopped

rowing outside San Diego and the Gulf

above cracked pipes and pvc

clouds of oil

grass and reeds

dragonflies and damselflies with heavy wings

on multi-generational round-trips without breaks to breathe in juniper trees

addition: we had a seed vault… a plan b food bank… to take care of us... in case a plague trapped in siberian ice destroyed our crops… but ten years went by without permafrost… and car-less urbanites with mileage plans... shrugged and said there was nothing they could do

a collapsed ice shelf is another place for cargo ships to pass through

our ecosystems depend on conversations among interlocking interdependent parts… more than mermaid toast or zombie shows… or mother nature wish-fulfillment fantasies… where we ask quail and cranes in the forest… to come out of the trees and lift us away by our shoulder pads

our second eye watches the ground… as we pace sidewalks disrupted by roots… thank inchworms for decompositions…. trace the paths of ants on the side… turn our ears like ferris wheels on the sly

inner vision attuned

wilderness survival guide

I do not have superior autobiographical memory like my faggot boyfriend does… brother… but if I remember right you beat up the guy who peed on my backpack in ninth grade… bc the next passing period… he apologized

I’m in bed rn… thinking about how I hate your muscular public practice… but needed it… srry for being confused

the word is not the thing

the menu is not the food

the plan

after I’ve figured out what I can give up

is to invite people to a park

grand theft auto fans

promote

slacktivist slash accent coach

mom in dallas… cashier cleric caregiver… competing for section 8 vouchers

developer counting kickbacks and calories... at a housing tax credit industry gathering

middle-aged man afraid to lose… leaving Buenavista for Baton Rouge… parents of dead black kids don’t know what to do… Saudi women barred from carpools… El Salvadoran sugarcane harvesters… closeted Egyptian police officers… Filipino nannies tinikling to Lil’ Wayne… trans women fighting the state… Miss Texas 1988… Harlotte O’Scara Hellen Tragedy… snake handler crab trapper… adjunct professor qualitative researcher… world’s most prolific fortune cookie writer… Bible Jim… shirtless guy next to him in briefs and “This man gave me a blowjob” sharpied on his chest

salmon in gasoline

up the bank across the street

pipeline burst on whatcom creek

hyper-empathic hatchimal colleggtor

trained to serve but not hit back

except in tennis lessons

the male coach

flips that

srry

gay hater cake maker cradle labeler

homo-plausible bi-logical

floral arranger

retain it or give it away

intellectual property is three chords

and the person with less power says you're not allowed

your brother

it’ll be the opposite of when I showed up at your house after my wife left me… and you opened the door… and I collapsed in your arms in the hallway… and bc you’re a few inches taller than me… and my knees wouldn’t work… you saw the nail marks on the walls of my subconscious

we’ll play a game… where we introduce ourselves

recall times in our lives with less repetition more repair

describing versions of ourselves adding post-scripts unaware

listing words we never use: farce, fatuous, machination, myopic, subterfuge

sorting beliefs by size date modified proof

discuss satire-less south park

duraflame start

galvanize flake n rust

behave spontaneously n not combust

help hippielandia hostel in flames

learn ancient proto-langs

repeat shit we wanna forget

like, has anyone checked on the family in the nuclear train car yet

we’ll discuss what should change… what should stay the same… believe ourselves capable of restraint… revive the practice of communal processing… where townspeople gather side by side… to watch events from the day reenacted in light

practice… on a page

like in a play

oceans and lands… dna strands… airspace… electromagnetic spectrums… gridded and privatized… but the public square

ACT I

CURTAINS OPEN ON PARK/SQUARE. TOWNSPEOPLE GATHER IN HALF-CIRCLE. MISSILE, WEATHER BALLOON, AND RED SUN HANG OVERHEAD

NICO: “I’ve been thinking about how I might convey my progressive morals in a way that sounds wholesome to my family.”

ISSA: “I’m done with that. I spend ten dollars on tampons at the store and my husband gets a bowlful of condoms every time he orders a jaeger shot. Then if I mention the disparity he blames ‘red tide.’ When I needed postnatal care to stop my fourth trimester pants-pissing, my doctor’s visit wasn’t covered. Society isn’t family friendly. I spend forty-minutes on the couch organizing housework and childcare each week, and regardless of what society says, that’s project management.”

JASLENE: “Last year my teacher gave everyone two bathroom passes and if you didn’t use them they were worth extra credit, so I left bloody circles on the chair para mostrarle que esto es lo que sucedería.”

CROWD SILENCES. BOY IN “WANNA LIFT?” SHIRT LEAVES. DARLENE STEPS TO THE MIDDLE.

DARLENE (to vacated space, then to group): “We’ll miss you… Every manifestation of good and evil has part of the answer, but also, immovable people will not be moved. We will show civil inattention by giving him the space he needs.”

MARK: “I’ll never represent my beliefs adequately since I have trouble telling the barber how I want my hair without the assistance of visual aids, but I’m here to talk anyway.”

JAMES: “We're standing on varying levels of culturally constructed oppressive frames and the only way to deconstruct the artifice as it exists is to stand on the ones that are more entrenched and take apart the ones that are less entrenched.”

SOFÍA: “I’m so confused by the fact that I’m not supposed to feel shame, except for all the things I’m supposed to feel shameful about, which aren’t the things I thought were shameful. Am I supposed to know what a ‘gender illusionist’ is? I thought liking men made my nephew gay.”

CURTAINS CLOSE

overheard in audience:

they’re not connecting… just waiting turns and expressing

let’s not underestimate the hard work of avoiding moral outrage

dismayed at the repetition of “but” while conversation disintegrates

hang on

looking up cognac insta chef’s recipe for caramel-drizzled hennessy cupcakes

unwilling to listen generously… while aiming for an ending other than intensifying favoritism is like nailing jelly to a tree

using a chainsaw to cut butter

jumping from flower to flower in a fern gulley type situation

pragmatism is a dangerous alternative to conviction

ACT II

CURTAINS OPEN. CHARACTER ‘YOU’ GAZES OUT OF HOUSE WINDOW ON AN ISLAND, STAGE LEFT. CHARACTER ‘ME’ LOOKS OUT APARTMENT WINDOW IN A CITY, STAGE RIGHT

In unison: I promise me: to fight for-profit prisons, schools, and kidney-dialysis centers. you: [ [ [ [

In unison: I think I can give up me: the scholarship I got in college and give it to someone who needs it. But don’t touch the s’mores pie. you: [ [ [ [

In unison: I’ve been thinking about me: what you shared with me about China building artificial land around the Spratly Islands. And how prison construction companies look at standardized test data from second grade children of color. you: [ [ [ [

In unison: I believe I am owed me: a reply. Not long, but something. you: [ [ [ [

In unison: I care about me: how Ryan and Jesse’s mom used to put Carl Budding lunchmeat with mayonnaise and mustard in a blender… set it on ‘mash’ for a game of Duck Hunt… scoop it into Tupperware… and smear it on white bread throughout the week. I would eat that over apples on guacamole. The real globaloney. you: [ [ [ [

In unison: I hope me: we find space to show real love to kenyan baboons in garbage dumps and dioxin babies walking like spiders with red septic skin and people in apartments named after species they’ve displaced and women planning the clean-up of their suicides. you: [ [ [ [

CURTAINS CLOSE: INTERMISSION

overheard in lobby:

coming up with a formula for interacting in common space

himalayan crystals from the mystic utilikit dude

maybe we’ll see them agree… or calm down… or point towards partial truth… or connect idealism to privilege

not youth

we know old folks are idealistic

planting seeds without expecting fruits

going to target and payless shoes

ACTS III+

CURTAINS OPEN ON PARK/SQUARE. TOWNSPEOPLE HUDDLE AROUND A RADIO, AS IF IN A SNOWSTORM.

RADIO: ... let it be that great strong land of love… where never kings connive nor tyrants scheme… that any man be crushed by one above…

DARLENE: “Starting sentences with ‘I’ is a good place to begin, but feelings of belonging go deeper. Shift responses bring the attention to ourselves. Support responses ask for more. Let’s be more than cannibals with knives and forks.”

MARK: “Food metaphors. We want to think about asking better questions. ‘What place most inspires you?’ instead of ‘Where have you traveled?’ ‘What work are you passionate about?’ instead of ‘What do you do?’”

JASLENE: “What's your weightiest belief? What's your most potent fear?”

RADIO: … clutching the hope I seek… and finding only the same old stupid plan… of dog eat dog, of mighty crush the weak… it never was America to me…

ISSA: “The desperate search for an ethic, a specter.”

JASON: “I am willing to give up my authority but don't touch my autonomy.”

RADIO: ... say, who are you that mumbles in the dark? and who are you that draws your veil across the stars?

YOU: [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [

EPILOGUE

Before sharing my brother’s response, I want to say I wrote “Thots & Prayers” because women get fewer obituaries than men in newspapers. Because the Baltimore Orioles lost way back when they had no tree canopy in which to land. Because trauma squats in the valley and anxiety raps her knuckles on the hill. Because Taco Bell spent 10 years and $15 mill developing stretchy cheese. Because men look at other men working in daycare centers and think they’re dumb for frittering away perks that should have been theirs from birth. Because my older brother yelled about faggots and Latinas after visiting the site of the Orlando Pulse shooting.

I am not looking to be comforted or assuaged.

White men need to educate each other. It’s not anyone else's job. We need to listen to the cultural conversation, see connections, and act on behalf of people who aren't seen. We need to be friendly in crowded places, and pull each other aside and be bridges.

I hope my family understands how many things will break if we don’t accommodate fragility. I’m not a metaphysician and don’t know about quantum mechanics or particle physics, but I know the phrase “I hope” is a glimmer of light living outside my rage. “I hope” signals my privilege. I hope to understand more about “I hope” in the context of everyday life in coming days.

As a beneficiary of entrenched systems, I work for everyone to have equal voice and access. I work for what’s best in my neighborhood and nation, on this striking and stunning and astoundingly polluted planet. I avoid asteroid-bashing. I avoid the ossification of stalemate. I avoid co-opting languages of the oppressed. I save room for warmth and time for children. I learn about neuro-diversity in the workplace and nutrient density in school lunches, and communicate generously about these issues and other issues, like the shared struggle for justice.

Mantras I’m saying and acting upon.

What’s mine is yours.

We do not need all the parts of the old society to create a new one.

If you feel inspired, please comment. I’d love to hear your weightiest belief, most potent fear, frustrations, considerations, qualifications, corrections, assessments, and agreements. No presh. I get nervous sharing my feelings, and words impact and behave differently for different people. The spaces between known grains of wood make wood strong.

I wasn’t sure if my brother would be a grain or a space. He’s the first person to admit he doesn’t read much and would rather talk on the phone or hash things out in person. Before sharing this, I called him up and said, “I’m about to send you a piece of writing. You don’t have to read the whole thing. You can always ‘Ctl. F’ and look for ‘brother.’”

Here’s what he wrote:

FYI, I don't really like you writing somewhat rude things about me and my house (which I take as jabs towards my wife and kids), etc. I don't do that towards you. I know there was some nice stuff too… I am communicating by e-mail as I know email is your preferred method, but at some point you need to realize I have feelings and opinions too, and don’t share them with everyone.

Right now I’m looking at 40+ people smoking joints outside the subsidized housing across the street. Wish I had that option. I wonder if their chronic drug use is helping out the health care system – I know they're not paying into it? I was up at 4:05 a.m. today to keep working toward losing that 20 lbs. so I'm not a burden on the system in the future. Learned that from Mom and Dad. I guess sometimes I feel ripped off. Need to get back to work now as I need to pay bills.

I’m sorry about the hate stuff that one day, you know I don't feel that way.

On another note, is hydroxycut good stuff?

He attached a document where he continued the conversation.

I promise to… take care of my kids and not cheat on my wife.

I’ve been thinking about… how to lose 20 more lbs. so I’m not dead when my kids are 40.

I feel like I am owed… nothing. I don’t feel I’m owed anything. Everyone chooses how to spend their money.

... and gave me prompts of my own.

In unison: I’ve been busy me: working about 12 hours per day if I count commuting and working on my house. you: [

In unison: I save my money for me: the future. I think I’m responsible for taking care of my own problems instead of hoping someone will help me out if something happens. you: [

In unison: I feel I’m privileged because me: I had a good Mom, Dad, and brothers growing up. I was never given any money, but having someone in your corner is more valuable. I am in your corner if you are in a pinch, and I know Mom and Dad are too. you: [

Working for a great strong land of love,

COLOPHON

Published on tumblr on Thursday, Aug. 10, “Thots & Prayers” is a phone transcript, visual essay, poem, and interactive self-help manual. I edited my brother’s written response for clarity. My mom took the pictures of my brother and me. My friend Jonathan Ursin took the pictures of me kneeling on the amphitheater stage and laying in the grass with rosary beads. I took the rest. Spanish phrases were proofed by Alè Barrientos. Radio broadcast lines are excerpted from Langston Hughes’ “Let America Be America Again.” Endorsement by Seattle performer Nico Pecans (they/them) / Miss Texas 1988 (she/her) is available. Lines from “James” and “Jason” are from interviews with James and Jason. PDF with original formatting shared upon request.

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lovemesomesurveys · 7 years ago

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Do you watch The Walking Dead? Nope. Have you ever had to get a tooth pulled? If so, what for? Yes. Wisdom teeth and one cause it was infected. Do you like Eatin’ Park? What? What’s your opinion on fast food? Well, I eat it. Chick-Fil-A is my favorite. Do you often stay up past midnight? Ha, yeah. I usually go to bed around 4.

Have you ever dated anyone while they were in jail? No. If you’ve ever babysat, do you like it? I babysat my lil bro and two of my younger cousins when they were little. I was like 13 or 14. It was fine for the most part, but sometimes they’d get on my nerves and not listen to me.

Is/was college something you’ve considered? Yep. I graduated.

Are raisins good? They’re okay. Chocolate covered ones are better, ha. What is your favorite flavor on sunflower seeds? Just regular ones. Do you get cold easily? This past winter I did, and I’m usually not someone who does get cold easily. I was also going through some health things, so that may have contributed to that. Do you get a lot of spiders in your house? Seems like it, but I’m terrified of spiders so any feels like a lot. It really does seem like we’ve had an increase this past year, though. On average, what kind of grades do/did you get in school? I got A’s and B’s. What’s your dream career? I don’t have one. :/ Do you admire nature? Yes. Ever been hiking? No. Name one naughty thing you’ve done. Nothing, ha. Are you under the age of twenty-one? Pfft. No. I’m going to be twenty-eight soon. :| If yes: does that stop you from drinking. If no: is drinking less fun now? I don’t drink anymore. Name two of your favorite things as a child. Barbies and Barney. Do you usually like the original song, or the remakes better? The original. Do you prefer to drink water, or something else? Coffeeee.

What’s something about people that just plain bothers you? Ignorance. Is your family close? My immediate family, yes. My mom has a big family, and we used to be close to my aunts and a few of my cousins, but that has dwindled a lot over the years. Do you change your clothes a lot throughout the day? I live in my pajamas. Do you own a pillow pet? No. Do you tend to solve problems with violence? No. Have either of your parents gone to jail? No. What do you mostly do with you hair on a daily basis? Pony tail. Do you have OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder)? No. Do you know a hoarder? Two of my aunts. How many Johns do you know? My dad and brother, but they spell it “Jon.” Do you wax, pluck, or leave your eyebrows? I pluck them. Do you have any interesting scar stories? No. Just from surgeries, mostly. What’s a reasonable amount of time before two people get engaged? I don’t know? Are you falling asleep? No. Do you hate the texture of meatballs? No. I love meatballs. My mom makes them the best. What’s something you’ve done that not many people can say they have? Hmm. I don’t know. Have you ever been in the newspaper? Yes. What’s your favorite type of cookie? Sugar. Are you a Jersey Shore addict? No. Do you know how to play chess? Nope. Can you sit still, or do you move around a lot? If I’m anxious, I can’t. Do you get migraines? No. I do get tension headaches, though. Would you want to meet Albert Einstein? Sure. Is it the weekend, yet? No. Do you have an interest in politics? I try to keep up with it the best I can. Do you like tacos? Yeah. I like burritos more.

Do you have a weak stomach? Yes. Do you like guns? Not my thing. Are turtles amazing creatures? They’re cute. Have/would you smoke marijuana? I have. Should gay marriage be banned? No. How much time do you spend taking surveys? I typically do like 2-3 a day. Sometimes more.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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cvmisado · 8 years ago

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ryden fic rec list

ahh so over the years i have read some AMAZING ryden fics…and some not so amazing ones. here, my dear friends, is a masterpost of some ryden fics that are definitely worth reading. make sure to read the warnings that the links give before reading please!! (there are 41 as of now, i update it like once a month)

♡ = favorite

one shots:

1. Falling is Like This: So, Brendon is madly in love with a boy from the candy shop. The boy from the candy shop. There’s only one.

“I bet he’s sweet,” Pete cracks, and Brendon rolls his eyes and groans.

ryan is so cute in this. and the story line is so fluffy and adorable i mean,, c’mon. 4,571 words.

2. let the good times roll: A college/barista AU.

ryan’s kinda obsessed with fall out boy. i love how this ends. also slight joncer. 3,650 words.

♡ 3. Love, Sex, and Parachutes: Spencer owns Decaydance Skydiving and employs many of the bandom boys.

this fic is kinda like the office and it’s so funny and i love it okay just read it. lots of ships. 3,847 words.

4. Purple Is Not A Christmas Color: KID!FIC Brendon has a problem with the fact that Santa put Ryan on the Naughty List.

i live for kid fics and this one is no exception. so fluffy. 5,657 words.

♡ 5. If I were stalking you then I’d know your favourite cookie flavour (Oatmeal Raisin, by the way): Spencer’s a video game addict, Jon’s kind of an ass, Brendon’s in Fall Out Boy and Ryan, uh, well he has a stalker.

ryan and jon work in a coffee shop. brendon’s kinda creepy but he has good intentions. trust me, it’s good. 6,011 words.

6. Sleepover Princes vs. Goodnight Girls: Ryan totally has a thing for Pete Wentz. Brendon should be happy for him, right?

ryan’s a slick motherfucker and brendon’s a jealous one. 5,487 words.

♡ 7. Love In A Letterbox: AU. He’s always found a sanctuary in books, a protection almost. A world of your own where no one else can change things you don’t want to be changed.

so deep and well written. really cute library au. 6,007 words.

8. From A Pretty Mouth: “Are you wearing lip gloss?” Spencer asked as he passed by the two boys right when Brendon pursed his lips in the mirror. “Damn right I am!” Brendon exclaimed, and grinned at the drummer. “It tastes like strawberries.”

ryan has a brendon’s lips kink. hot make outs. really short though, 2,000 words.

♡ 9. This Is Halloween: Brendon turns into a four-year-old just before Halloween.

the CUTEST. baby bren is so so great and has a lisp when saying spencer’s name. 2,981 words.

10. Candyboy: There is an urban legend about how a boy can get the most spectacular and orgasmic kiss of his life, if he dares to try it.

this fic is pretty hot with an interesting story line. i’m pretty sure it’s a crack fic. 1,700 words.

11. Like A Magic 8 Ball, But You Can Only Ask One Question: Jon has the power to know whether someone’s gay or straight or somewhere in between.

jon saved everyone’s lives. just like irl. 3,689 words

♡ 12. Every Night You Stay: It wasn’t Ryan’s fault that Brendon had, apparently, taken everything he said to heart and decided to make Jon his new best friend and secret boyfriend.

ryan is so weird, jealous, and hilarious in this. i felt so bad for jon hfshjfsdj. it’s by one of my fav authors. 5,342 words.

♡ 13. Best Laid Plans: Brendon had a three-step plan to make Ryan Ross fall in love with him. He didn’t write it down or anything (and if he did, the tiny, shredded pieces of paper were scattered across some highway between Wisconsin and Indiana, so no one could prove it), but it was a very specific plan.

THIS IS HILARIOUS. i love this fic sossoso much cause brendon tries so damn hard to get ryan. featuring octopuses playing pianos (it’s not crack i promise) 4,600 words.

♡ 14. The Theory of Infatuation: Brendon’s the drama geek with the voice of an angel, and Ryan’s the socially crippled boy on the newspaper staff who loves him.

o!!!!m!!g!!!!!!!! the perfect high school au, ryan is too cute for his own good. 5,896 words.

long fics:

♡ 1. Eccentric Times At Barrington High: The Office/High School AU: For some odd reason, a documentary company decides to document the daily lives and struggles of the teachers and students of Barrington High.

(OR: Music teacher Patrick Stump is hopelessly in love with his best friend trademark emo English teacher Pete Wentz, valedictorian William Beckett may or may not have had sex with the new Spanish teacher Gabe Saporta over his summer break in Jersey, pretentious and Coldplay-addicted Ryan Ross hates the lively and optimistic music teacher Brendon Urie, and more scandalous and weird things happen)

oh. my. god. this fic made me laugh so hard. mikey way is kind of an asshole and the description isn’t exaggerating when stating “Coldplay addicted Ryan Ross” because he honestly is. I’m pretty sure he fantasizes about Chris Martin on a daily basis. tyler and josh are the camera men. oh yeah, and halsey is in it. they are teachers except the tai guys and halsey. 75,032 words.

2. Two Weeks In Hawaii: After being left at the alter the night before his wedding to Pete-fucking-Wentz, Ryan cashes in his honeymoon tickets to Hawaii where he finds that maybe not all men are complete assholes. – features pretty much every relationship ever, tons of characters, a bunch of relationships, and more butthurt and angst than any one story should.

william is so great in this story. brendon’s such a sweetheart too. the beginning is so sad. i may have hated pete wentz for three days after reading this fic. lots of drama and angst. 112,075 words.

♡ 3. Two Vatos Locos Full of Carnalismo and Inamoratos: You dream with your soulmate. That’s how you learn who you’re meant to spend the rest of forever with. It’s simple, really, almost too easy. There’s no struggle unless your soulmate lives miles upon miles away. At least, that’s what usually happens. At first, Ryan thinks he’s sick. That he’s messed up or broken– maybe that’s why he didn’t dream with his soulmate for so long. But then he does, and fuck. Of course his soulmate is a fucking trauma case.

WARNING: WILL FUCK YOU UP. i’m not even exaggerating. it’s so angsty and sad and perfect and i love it so much. also, please read the tags before deciding to read this fic. some include: abuse, alcohol, suicide attempt(s). this isn’t the full thing so please take care and read the tags. 207,878 words.

♡ 4. Our Eyes Shine the Brightest When Our Faces Are Covered in Dirt (sequel to Two Vatos…): “Life isn’t a Disney Movie, and the world isn’t that generous. Sometimes, a story ends with an unsatisfying fade to black, and that’s all you have.”

Ryan struggles to teach his students this after taking a university teaching job to distract himself from his absent soulmate and his dying friend at home. He begins wonders if the ring on his finger means anything at all to Brendon.

read Two Vatos before reading this one. this may be even more sad and angsty, if that’s even possible. i cried a lot while reading this & the prequel. keep tissues handy. 104,062 words.

5. The One Thing I Never Expected: Ryan is Brendon’s best friend, they grew up together. But Ryan is different. An accident when he was a child left him deaf. Brendon has always taken care of Ryan, but now he’s starting to care for Ryan in a different way.

this is one of my all time favs. there’s a rape, suicide, and alcohol mentions. this is so cute and yes, they do have sex eventually. high school au. 91,000 words.

6. Star Shaped: Brendon’s not having the best holidays season ever.

you may want to read Forever, Now before reading this fic for it to make more sense. it isn’t ryden, but the story will make more sense if you do. 54,593 words.

7. Brilliant Smiles and Barely Scraping By: Brendon’s holding something inside of himself. It’s far from his heart; that’s where his favorite songs are kept. What he keeps secret is held in a place that Brendon himself doesn’t even want to try to find.

If Brendon couldn’t fight battles, Ryan was more than ready to fight for him

so so sad and worth reading. highschool au. there’s mentions of abuse and is quite angsty. this fic made me really angry. 73,600 words.

♡ 8. Rock Band Is (Not) A Synonym For Love: A mall AU. Pete’s head over heels for an oblivious Patrick, Gerard’s running out of ways to tell Frank he won’t date him, Ryan’s successfully trying to ignore his feelings for Brendon, and Spencer’s trying to make ends meet even as he slowly falls for Jon. On top of all that the big mall celebration is coming up and there’s all kinds of trouble keeping everyone on their toes.

so so cute. all your fav ships in one: peterick, frerard, joncer, and ofc ryden. pretty funny as well. 45,000 words.

9. Freaks: An accident lands Ryan in the hospital, and he meets Jon, who tells him of a mysterious patient on their floor. There’s something not quite right about him, but then again, there’s something not quite right about Ryan as well.

ryan is so self concious and kinda an ass. jon & spencer are the best. 46,000 words.

10. I Don’t Have a Library Card… But I’d Love to Check You Out: AU college. Brendon is close to flunking out of college, and his roommate and partner in crime, Jon, is not helping. He seeks refuge in the school’s library and finds a little more than a place to study. This is a story about finding love, taking chances, and being true to one’s self.

ryan is adorable and sarah may seem like an ass at first, but she’s not. oh, spencer and sarah are siblings. 46,500 words.

♡ 11. How To Kill A Straight Guy: “Have fun eating your once-living flesh! I’ll be in here masturbating to girl magazines I got from my pot-smoking friends!”

the summary above is just for the first chapter. this fic is AMAZING and soooo much angst. it’s unbelievable. you will probably end up crying. it has a kind of sad ending, just warning you. 75,766 words.

fics that are too long to be one shots, but too short for the long fics:

♡ 1. Just A Dash Of Fairy-maldehyde: Brendon had never expected to even meet a real nymph, let alone fall for one.

so so so cute!!!!!!!!!!!! the story line sounds weird, but honestly it’s not at all?? the author totally works it. ryan is flustered so easily and it’s adorable. it’s written by the lovely @buttercupross give her a follow and check out her writing! it’s amazing, and so is she. 14,914 words.

♡ 2. What We Invented: Now Brendon really doesn’t mind having boys in his bed, especially pretty ones and the one currently occupying his sheets seems quite pretty. It’s just…he likes to know who the boys in his bed are and he has absolutely no idea who this boy is.

ryan is so strange in this but it’s a good strange so it’s okay. the joncer is also so cute like? bill beckett is ryan’s roommate. 7,411 words.

3. Let Me Down, Charlie Brown or How Jon Walker Saved Christmas: Christmas time at the mall sucks, especially for those who work there. Brendon has given up on Christmas, Ryan is uptight, and Jon just wants to help.

pete dresses up in a santa costume and patrick is in an elf one. brendon works in a pet shop and spencer always somehow always knows shit. 13,239 words.

4. Love in Bloom: Ryan Ross is a normal boy who struggles with his past. Can one rose seller at the side of the road help Ryan remember the past while still living in the present?

i’m pretty sure i had a revelation while reading this. i remember crying after reading this. a lot. 12,000 words.

5. The Interpretation of Dreams: “I think something’s wrong with me,” Brendon tried to explain. “I basically have dreams so great that they kind of make real life pale in comparison. But not so great that I can tell the difference when I dream.” “And this… is a problem?” Spencer looked skeptical.

this fic was also really sad. very well written. so much pent up emotion. 20,000 words.

6. The Laundromat: Ryan doesn’t want to know the names of the people who come into the Laundromat. He doesn’t want to know what makes Tattoo Guy talk to Guy Who Never Showers. He doesn’t, but a new customer might just undermine all the work he’s done to distance himself from the world.

ryan’s names for people are pretty funny. features joncer, frerard, gabilliam, and peterick. 20,427 words.

7. Silver Roses: Happiness doesn’t grow on trees - but maybe it grows on rosebushes.

there’s slight william beckett/jon walker which was a first. spencer is evil. this is kinda a cinderella au. cute. 23,000 words.

8. Brendon Urie: Pet Detective: Ryan Ross is the new kennel attendant at Thompson & Thompson Vet Clinic. When he meets his co-worker, Jon Walker, they begin to discover dogs disappearing from their kennels. When Ryan’s own dog, Hobo, goes missing, Jon Walker knows exactly who to call.

i almost gasped out loud when i found out who took hobo. pretty creative. 18,000 words.

♡ 9. Just One Of The Girls: “Spence, I’m. Look, I’m going to prove this girl-thing to you, okay? I’m going to,” he held up his hands, “this is so brilliant, I’m going to become a girl.”

pretty hilarious. ryan turns into a girl. vicky t is amazing. 20,830 words.

♡ 10. Every Speck of Dust Illuminated: “Z Berg.” Brendon pauses dramatically for effect. “Is a witch.”

Jon drags a spoon through the foam to draw a four leaf clover, complete with stem. Brendon admires it for a second.

“Brendon,” Jon sighs. “I know you don’t like that Ryan is spending so much time with her, but you don’t get to go around saying shit about people.”

Spine stiffening, Brendon responds as levelly as he can manage, “This has nothing to do with Ryan. Well, besides the fact that he’s hanging out with a witch.”

Elizabeth Ann Berg is a witch. (and there is Charlotte the cat, Ryan the oblivious, and Brendon the hopelessly infatuated.)

you need an account for the link to work. it doesn’t take very long to make one and it’s free. but, this fic is pretty good and ryan is an old man. not literally, he just dresses like one. 15,931 words.

♡ 11. For Whatever You Loose: You can’t always get what you want - unless you fish it out of the ocean.

mermaid au!! brendon and jon are mermaids and ryan and spencer are humans. brendon is so cute. 14,500 words.

♡ 12. You’re Going to Recycle That, Right?: The one where Ryan is a hippie college environmentalist and Brendon just wants a better music auditorium. Featuring Ryan Ross chaining himself to a tree.

ryan is pretty hilarious and smokes a lot of pot with jon. the ending is really cute. 10,600 words.

13. Because You Looks Like A Jackass: Apartment AU! Basically: Brendon’s just moved into town. He courts Ryan Ross with flowery words and also a coat rack. He falls flat on his face.

brendon is honestly so weird in this but it’s kind of endearing and cute. 7,600 words.

♡ 14. Serenade In Blue: Brendon makes Ryan stupid.

brendon likes ryan and ryan likes brendon but they both have no idea. ryan acts really weird when brendon is around and even more when he’s singing, it’s hilarious. z berg is the greatest. 8,013 words.

♡ 15. This Happy Ending’s Just Beginning: The Disneyland parade has evolved into an all-singing, all-dancing extravaganza and Brendon wants to be part of it. Unfortunately there aren’t a lot of opportunities for the guy who sells knick-knacks by the park gates. Enter Ryan, the parade’s current star attraction, who might just have a plan to get Brendon everything he always wanted.

disney au!! my heart melted. spencer hates everyone, overall really amazing. 28,348 words.

16. You Got A Crew? (I Got A Crew Too): AU. Every June, in the world of Las Vegas hair care, it’s all about one thing: the Annual Services Survey. Can struggling hairdresser Brendon Urie and his coworkers finally win over rival salon Cobra Starship? Shenanigans ensue as they battle it out, all while Brendon struggles to keep his eye on the prize—and away from that cute but prickly reporter.

i kept avoiding this fic for some reason? i wish i hadn’t though, it’s hilarious and the pranks are hysterical. one of my favorites. 24,000 words.

here, my friends are 41 of really good ryden fics totally worth your time. if you ever have any questions, don’t be afraid to hit up my ask box. oh, and i apologize for the sucky descriptions, i’m not good at summaries. i tried including fics that i haven’t seen everywhere, so that you can get some new fics. please let me know if the links aren’t working.

make sure to take care of yourselves and read the warnings that the links give before reading. happy reading!

#bren #ryden #ryden fanfiction #ryden fic recs #ry #ryan ross #brendon urie

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