#smeg head

[mystery-of-arkham-asylum]

Another sleepless night another cross stitch addition. This time round Red Dwarf. Also. I have misplaced a need on my bed. Send help.

[burby2007]

So i made and tried the fried egg, chili, chuney sandwich...and it was smeging good

Id give it a 7/10 (I feel like I should of tosted the bread even though Im not suppose to)

[dolliegutzz]

How is my smeg head shirt more accurate then the one they sell on the shop😭

[ruindunburnit]

Mfw I just realised that Kryten (Red Dwarf) was probably named in honour of the author of Westworld, Michael Crichton. 🤦‍♂️

[lubotomies]

the eddsworld store just reopened and the design on this shirt is so cute

[a-literal-toaster-wtf]

I will never get over the red dwarf reference in eddsworld

[hedonicghost]

I think since Star Trek the series exists in the Red Dwarf universe, Rimmer kins Kelvin TL Kirk, but he just says to Lister "I kin Captain Kirk" and Lister has a thought bubble above his head with a compilation of TOS Kirk doing stupid thing (Kirk kick, wearing a padded ass, "Dig it in there, Mister Spock", etc) and just nods and understands.

[xx-just-a-demon-xx]

the H stands for smeg Head

[celestialprincesse]

𝐒𝐚𝐲 𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐧 𝐆𝐨 - 𝐓𝐰𝐨

Pt2 to this Nik x Hyperfem!reader because I couldn't leave it alone and it's been gnawing at the back of my brain all day

You don't hear the first knock at the door. It's no surprise with the way you're wrapped up in the blissful comfort of your own little world. Being able to tune out to the soft sound of your playlist, the feeling of gently applying your favourite lotions and creams, the moisturiser you'd spent far too much on that leaves you smelling like coconuts and caramel. The second knock snaps you from the pretty pink haze you've drifted into, sending you bounding down the stairs, not even bothering to check the peephole as you fling open the front door.

It's him. He has your plate in his hand, the sharlotka plate, and not only is it clean, but it bears a slightly odd, misshapen cake. You look up at him with hopeful confusion. "I brought you back the plate." He states, as though you're blind, or just stupid. "I can see that." Your attempt at a dismissive, uninterested tone, falls entirely flat when you look up at him like an eager puppy. "I also made cake." Said cake looks distinctly like an attempt at a Victoria Sponge, although you're not quite sure.

Under his scrutinising look, you can't help but rock on your feet in your impractical little shoes. He barely manages to refrain from scoffing at the sight of them. "Would you like to come in?" Nikto's eyes hone on the way you open the door just slightly wider in a tentative invitation.

Barbie would recoil at how girly your house is. It's pink and frilly, gauzy with satiny ribbons and bows on everything. He feels so incredibly wrong here, like he'll stain your fluffy white carpets with blood, darken the soft lamplight with the shadows that cling relentlessly to his back. "Would you like some tea?" You mumble, indicating a nervous hand to your pink smeg kettle as though to prove the authenticity of your offer. "Do you have Russian Earl Grey?" "Uh -" You mutter as you root through your cupboards, filled with all sorts of fruity infusions. "I only have regular."

The two of you sit quietly around your dining table and whilst you sit forking pieces of crumbly, somehow simultaneously soggy, Victoria sponge into your mouth, Nikto sits there trying to find a way to drink his tea without showing you his face. "I am sorry." He murmurs softly, having stewed for the last week about how foolish he'd been in treating you so dismissively. It hasn't helped that he's fucked his hand every night for the past seven days at the image of you and your silly little doll clothes in his head. "If you would still like to, I would like to take you for a meal."

Temporarily fixing their situation!! like using pink glitter glue on the cracked hull of a ship!! 💕

[themummersfolly]

Third time seeing Furiosa! Thoughts, in no particular order:

(Spoilers below)

I like how gender sort of evaporated in the wasteland. Like yeah, if you're healthy and female in the Citadel your career options are predetermined and pretty limited, and the Wasteland across the board is hypermasculine. But that masculinity doesn't appear limited to cis men: for example, the History Man offers to help Furiosa become not a History Woman or a History Person, but a History Man specifically. Also, Mr. Norton is female-presenting the entire movie, but after she wins her bike she is referred to by the make of her bike and a masculine honorific, almost as if to drive home a point to her new hordemates. Idk if there's an underlying message in all this, I just think it's cool that gender in the wasteland seems to be inherently fluid and situational.

What language were the Vuvalini speaking? You know, when the Vuvalini general tells Mary Jabassa that no one can know of the Green Place.

I paid attention to Mr. Harley this time, he does appear to have a soft spot for Furiosa. Now I want more fics of him and Mr. Davidson interacting with little Furiosa, being the cool uncles or even springing her and bailing from the Horde to go raise her as a bandit.

Did anyone else notice during the first attempt on the Citadel when Dementus is giving his "surrender or I will burn down your village" speech, the Octoboss is leaning back with his feet propped up on his gas tank? 1) Kleut is one lanky mfer. 2) This is clearly not the first time the Octoboss has heard this speech and he's expecting to get to hang out and enjoy the spectacle.

I love how the final act mirrors the first act. A handful of bikers pursued through dunes by an implacable Vuvalini who snipes them one by one. The pursuer has to commandeer a tire to keep going; a bike is crippled by the removal of a tire. The attempt to use a sandstorm for cover. Use of a rifle scope to watch the fleeing bikers. Attempted flight on foot. A slow death involving a tree as the result of failed escape. The first shot of Furiosa's Odyssey is of her picking peaches and offering one to a friend; the final shot, before it becomes Fury Road, is of her picking peaches and offering them to the wives. Visual poetry, man. I will take the weird pacing if that is what it takes to get us that thematic mirroring.

The Organic Mechanic was definitely cooking one of Dementus' dogs when Furiosa commandeered Scrotus' car.

When we first see the House of Holy Motors, the Head Blackthumb is assisted by a little old man with a tricked-out rolator. Later, when Furiosa has lost her arm, we see someone pulling what appears to be the tricked-out rolator out of storage and her building her prosthetic from one of the grabby arms on it.

From the first moment we see him, Smeg is low-key mimicking Dementus' look and actions. I think his function in the Horde is as Dementus' fool or jester.

Furiosa is wearing Dementus' cape when she first corners him. By the time she drags him back to the Citadel, it's gone. His mantle of hate and grief falls on her and she ultimately rejects it.

The Lone Warboy survived all the way through the 40 Day War! During the first attempt on the Citadel, he hooks a chain to the trailer with Furiosa and the History Man; Dementus and co manage to get it back and drive off, but the Warboy is pulled back up. We see him periodically in the background right up until Furiosa commandeers the Cranky Black, you can tell it's him because his build is so distinctive and he's got a scar from the arrow.

I really liked that one brakeman with the red beard, his face was covered during half his scenes but he seemed like a very normal person living in the Citadel, occasionally sticking up for Furiosa. I like how his humanity showed past even the Pyramid Head-looking costume. My headcanon is that he was friendly towards Furiosa from the time she became a dogman and recognized her all the way through; he's got a soft spot for his mute friend who occasionally wanders off and comes back a different gender.

[therimmerexperience]

Smegtober- Day 12 (Promises)

Stumbling into the room, Rimmer returned from Z shift, exhausted and ready to collapse. He considered revision before he had even finished his shift and decided against it today, something was just not right with him; from the moment he woke up, he felt heavy. Greeted by the sight of Lister sat hunched over on the floor, legs crossed and button up shirt pulled to shield whatever was in between them, Rimmer closed the door behind him. 

“Lister, what the smeg are you doing?”

He turned his head to look at him, not moving his body and pulling his shirt harder to cover whatever rested in his lap. The shirt rustled and meowed. 

“Nothin’,” he defended,” It's none of your business.” 

“You are unbelievable,” Rimmer scolded, crouching down at Lister's side and lowering his voice, “do you have any idea of the penalty for smuggling an unquarantined animal on board?”

“Yes, Rimmer,” he hissed, pulling his shirt  back to reveal a rather large, black cat, “I'm aware… but she needed a home. She's pregnant.”

Sinking further down to sit next to the third technician, Rimmer stared at the cat momentarily as though it was an alien, her large green eyes seeming to plead with him. He shook his head. Cats aren't that smart, Rimmer thought to himself, then again, neither is Lister.

The scouser gave him a similar look, brown eyes wide and pleading, just like the cat, “Please, Rimmer. Don't tell anyone. She's gentle and well behaved and I promise, I swear on me life, that she's clean. Cleaner than me even.” 

“Well, anything's cleaner than you,” the second technician mumbled with a sigh, slowly holding out his hand for the cat to sniff. She nuzzled into him, a soft purr emanating from her and reverberating on his hand as she pressed against him. 

“Rimmer, please promise me you wont tell anyone about Frankenstein.” Lister begged again. 

“Fine, I promise,” he tried his best to sound cold, failing miserably as the feline continued to pander for his attention, “But Frankenstein? Really?”

“It's a class name,” Lister protested, A grin plastered over his features, “and when I first got her I thought she was a boy.”

“You’re a total gimp, Listy,” he finally let a smile creep onto his lips, cooing as he picked up Frankenstein and pulled her onto his own lap, planting a small kiss between her ears and stroking her gently.

[janamelie]

Smegtober Prompt 11 - Jealousy

Set in a Series VII AU where Rimmer never left but Kochanski still joined the crew.

Cat inspected his fingernails critically.  Time for a buff.  He pulled a nail file out of his suit pocket, frowning as Butterpat Head’s wittering cut into his preening time.

“What does Mr Lister even see in her?  She’s uptight, bossy and walks around as though her pants are too tight!”

Only half listening, Cat muttered a reply in the hope of shutting him up.  “Yeah, Goalpost Head smegs me off too.  Join the club.”

“Sir?  I think you may have misheard.  I was referring to Miss Kochanski.”

Before Cat could muster a response, Rimmer came into the room.  “What about our newest crewmember?”  He added with a begrudging grimace: “And Acting Senior Officer.”

Kryten began pacing agitatedly.  “Sirs, we really need to help her find her crew again.  She’s not fitting in here at all.”

“No argument here.  If I have to watch Lister mooning over her for much longer, we’re going to find out whether holograms can barf.”

Cat snorted.  “You just hate being outranked.  I like her.  She’s our second best-looking crewmember.  My shoulders have been aching from holding up that banner by myself for years.  Nice to finally have someone to share the load.”

Rimmer shot him a dirty look.  “Look, you mangy moggy, there are more important considerations than…”  He cast around for a suitably devastating insult.  “Than doubling the number of crewmembers who care about shaving their legs!”

Cat shook his head and resumed his filing.  “You want to be hairy like a dog, that’s your funeral.”

“With respect, sirs, we’re getting off topic.  The presence of Miss Kochanski is disrupting the unity of this crew.  She keeps distracting Mr Lister.”

Rimmer nodded.  “As though it isn’t hard enough to get any attention from him.  I mean, to get him to pay attention.  He had little enough respect for me before she swanned in here with her Navigation Officer pips.”

Cat shrugged and got to his feet.  “Anyone who gets Dormouse Cheeks to spruce himself up a bit is OK in my book.”  He pocketed his nail file and left.

He shook his head as the continuing, irritating noise of their yapping faded into the distance.  It sucked how everyone except him couldn’t be cool around Officer Bud Babe. 

There was something funky in the air between her and Dormouse Cheeks.  Even more disturbing, it was the same kind of weird as he’d always sensed between him and Goalpost Head.  

Monkeys.  I’ll never understand them.

[miniherodesktales]

Day 7: Sacrifice

'So, we're agreed, Rimmer doesn't need to know. Right?'

Kryten nodded. 'Understood. I'll keep this information locked away in the Secrets file, never to be opened.'

'Good. Cat?'

Cat screwed his face up. 'Are you sure about this, bud? You know I gossip - it's my nature! And for another, are you really sure about this?'

Lister shook his head. 'It's not "gossip"! You're just going to have to control yourself. And, yeah, I'm sure. Look at how he was about his father. Took days for him to start talking to us again. We keep this to ourselves.'

'Maybe it's not your decision to make, bud,' Cat said quietly.

'I'll take the risk.'

Kryten passed a mug of coffee to Lister.

'Are you okay, sir?'

Lister slumped back in his chair.

'Yeah, fine. It's just the thought of all those people being suddenly wiped out without warning.' He shuddered. 'I mean, why did the warning systems fail? What could have gone so wrong?'

'Not so dissimilar to the Dwarf's disaster,' Kryten observed. 'Io was always known for being the most inhospitable moon to colonise. Lakes of molten larva, hundreds of volcanos, daily eruptions, earthquakes constantly....It was incredible that people were able to live there at all. Really, sir, it's not so surprising that a volcanic eruption occurred on such a scale that it wiped out the city.'

'I know, I know, but the date - Rimmer's mom may still have been alive at the time - and Dungo the gardener.'

'They would've have been incredibly old for monkey people,' Cat pointed out.

'But still enough to make you wonder. I don't want him obsessing over it. Especially as there's nothing any of us can do to find out.' Lister shrugged. 'He doesn't need another horror in his head. He's smeg enough as it is.'

'But now we have bear the burden instead,' said Cat.

'Yeah,' Lister agreed.

Rimmer stuck his head into the Drive Room.

'Are we playing cards or not?' he demanded impatiently. He blinked. 'What's wrong with you lot? We don't have to play if you don't want to.'

'No, no, cards will be great. Can't wait!'

'Yeah, you're looking sharp tonight, Holo-Bud! New shirt?'

'Or Risk!' Lister suddenly blurted out. 'You can finally teach us to play Risk. I've been waiting to find out!'

'Oh me too!'

'Great idea! Let's gets started.'

Rimmer blinked again. What was up with everyone tonight?

[ilikesillythings]

Tom x reader

Edd x Reader

IM BEGGINNGGG🙏

"Sweeter than a milkshake" Tom x Reader x Edd

Tws; none Fluff Established relationsips Poly (TomEdd on top<3) (Im so sorry if you dont like ships, if you dont just pretend Edd and Tom are PLATONICALLY together- I would've written two different fics, but I wouldn't know who to @.)

It was days like this you were glad for your two boyfriends. A boring, but sunny day never stayed boring for long when you dated the two insane men known as Edd and Tom.

"Love!" Edd called to you from the kitchen, holding a flyer, "A new cafe opened up nearby, wanna go with me to check it out-- oh, and ask Tom if he wants to as well!!" he added the last part with a goofy grin. "Kay!" You returned, walking to your other boyfriends' room.

Your knucked rapped against the door, "Tomme?" Hearing something thud softly from inside of his room, and small footsteps, you took a step away from the door right before it opened slightly.

"Oh- {Y/N}!" Tom said, his once grumpy face shifting to an excited, goofy grin once his eyes (supposedly, it was hard to tell) settled onto you. He always seemed to brighten up upon seeing you, or Edd for that matter. "Edd wanted to know if you wanted to go to this new cafe with us?"

Immediately Tom nodded excitedly, "Hell yeah!" was his reply as he hooked his arm with you, shutting his door with his foot, walking briskly to the kitchen where Edd was stood, skim-reading the flyer. "You ready, smeg head?" Tom asked Edd, who in turn chuckled, nodding

The cafe wasn't too far away, and since it was nice out you enjoyed the walk. In fact, it was almost a bit too warm, the sun feeling hot against the back of your neck, but the prospect of this oddly made it worth it. "I wonder if they have Cola.." Edd mused to himself softly, causing you and Tom to chuckle.

Eventually, the three of you reached the cafe. It was clearly based off of the 1960s, so with renewed interest, you were the first to step in, followed by Edd, then Tom.

It was fairly empty inside in terms of people, decorations on the other hand were a different story. The walls were white, with black and white checkered floors, red seated booths with long cyan blue tables, a juke box, playing 'These Boots Were Made For Walking' softly, a static hum faintly following the melody, as the thing seemed as though it had seen better days. The walls were covered in photos, Coca Cola signs, photos of dramatically lit lava lamps, barbies, surfers, and tie-dyed shirts. Near the wall was a long counter, red surfaced bar stools in front of it.

Your eyes surveyed over everything, in awe. "Whoa.." you whispered, sitting down at one of the bar stools. Chuckling to themselves, Edd and Tom sat on either side of you, "This is certainly something, huh?" Tom asked with a raised eyebrow,

"Look.." Edd murmured with stars in his eyes, pointing at the large Cola sign. Tom rolled his eyes, mumbling under his breath, "It is cool in here," you eventually said, tilting your head to the side.

Once a waitor gave each of you a menu, Edd got a Cola, Tom black coffee, and you? A milkshake. But, no matter how sweet the {F/F (favourite fruit) } milkshake turned out to be, you knew for a fact that your boys were much, much sweeter.

[a-literal-toaster-wtf]

you wanna know an angsty scenario i’ve been replaying in my head for the past few weeks? lister seeing his rimmer-as-ace return and not knowing it’s his rimmer at first, making him believe his rimmer had died and passed on the torch since it’s supposed to be impossible to return to your original universe. obviously he’d figure it out eventually through whatever means but that initial sinking feeling of “oh smeg, he’s DEAD dead” has been making me go crazy

[tomeebear04]

do you have any eddsworld merch? If so from where i cannot for the life of me find anything i really want on their website i sadly got into eddsworld a little too late to see any good merch 😭

not really. im very picky when it comes to merchandise. honestly the only franchise i buy anything from actively is sonic. gotta spend all my coin on that hedgehog

i did recently buy one of germs tom keychains since i had the extra cash to do so. which i should be getting pretty soon. he makes pretty great stuff so @/germygogurt on twitter if you want any fan made merch. idk when his next drop of ew stuff will be tho

and i made stickers of my own art to just put on my record player bc i thought it would be goofy

i do agree that the official merch is lacking. i never liked anything they released ever LOL. even pre-beyond. none of the t shirt designs ever clicked with me. i wish they had more discreet designs. the only ones that are kinda like that available rn are the m@, ska band, and smeg head shirts. which... im not going to buy a shirt about smegma sorry man. i wish the ska band one came in black or something instead of that terrible grey t shirt color that always shows sweat stains. the m@ shirt is just ugly. i would only consider getting the pins but i have no where to put those things

the youtooz figures are okay. im not a fan of how they look at all. it's just funko pops for gen z imo

im a "plush loving person" - (jenny nicholson, 2020), so when they announced official plushes i got pretty excited. but theyre terminally ugly so i never even considered buying one. ive never actually seen an eddsworld plush that isnt weird looking official or not. no ball for me

your best bet with eddsworld merch is with fans. at least until the official store ups its game or smthn