#smart prison living
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Prison Playbook (2017) - 슬기로운 감빵생활 - Whump List
List by StayDandy Synopsis : Kim Je Hyuk, a famous baseball player, is arrested after using excessive force while chasing a man trying to sexually assault his sister. Shockingly to him and the rest of the nation, he is sentenced to a year in prison. There, he meets his childhood friend and fellow baseball player, Lee Joon Ho, who is now is a prison guard and one of Je Hyuk's biggest fans. The drama revolves around Je Hyuk's time in prison, as well as the prisoners he meets and events that take place there. (MDL) AKA : Prison | Smart Prison Living | Wise Prison Life
Whumpee : Kim Je Hyuk played by Park Hae Soo (left)
Country : 🇰🇷 South Korea Genres : Comedy, Crime, Life, Drama, Friendship, Bromance
Notes : This is a Partial List - I didn't list every bit of whump, just what caught my attention the most • This is it! The show that started it all! This is the show I watched 2 years ago that triggered my interest [ie obsession] with Asian dramas! I really aught to rewatch and make this a full list some day.
Episodes on List : 3 Total Episodes : 16
*Spoilers below*
03 : (near end) Kim Je Hyuk realizes that he is loosing feeling in his hand
04 : Hit in the head with a nail stuck in a board .. (bonus : Lieutenant Paeng sings at the end 😆)
09 : (past half-way point of ep) Collapses because of appendicitis
More Whump Lists for this show: whumpetywhump
#whump#whump list#Asian whump#South Korea#Prison Playbook#슬기로운 감빵생활#Prison#Smart Prison Living#Wise Prison Life#Kim Je Hyuk#Park Hae Soo#hit with object#sick#collapses
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If nothing else, I want you to take this away from yesterday's presidential debate:
This is a literal, actual, verbatim quote.
#he also said it doesnt matter if he would codify abortion rights because congress is currently split 50/50 so itd never pass#which is your fun reminder that CONGRESS IS ALSO ELECTED ON NOVEMBER 5TH#so go out and vote blue all the way through just to spite him#and also to protect the literal lives of millions of women/people in need of any sort of reproductive care#presidential debate#shitpost#but also politics#vote blue for transgender operations on illegal aliens that are in prison#trans#transgender#he genuinely said that#i would presume hes referencing when she as AG refused to let an incarcerated trans woman get surgery#but i dont think hes smart enough to do that so this is just incoherent rambling#also harris did reportedly reverse her stance on that#go vote#us politics#us elections#vote blue#kamala harris
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I've legitimately been thinking a lot about trans women lately and like the women I know in my life and how complex and human and real they are. Specifically because I understand the world is not kind to trans women and likes to generalize them horribly.
I know a woman who's an artist and spending her time dreaming about stars. I know another woman who's a terrible friend and manipulative as hell. I know one who's shy and sweet and so intelligent. Trans women can be so many things 💖
I really care deeply about trans women and I hope in my friend groups I'm a good ally to them and know to stand up vocally for them. Trans women deserve so much and they're given not enough. Everyone can do something to stop transphobia by speaking up when they hear it. Don't let your friends make transphobic jokes. Don't let your dad regurgitate trump's words. Protect the trans women in your life and everywhere else, they need to be loved and respected. Mwah! 🥰
#mine#💖🥰trans women🥰💖#all humans are complex and its a beautiful thing#*cough* and a small thought#if we deny healthcare to one prisoner. no matter how disgusting the crime. it sets a precedent to deny healthcare to any prisoner#for any reason#and denying a prisoner trans healthcare is denying a prisoner life saving medicine in my opinion#trans healthcare saves lives#its basic healthcare if you ask me not some sort of secret sect of magic healthcare that should cost more#so yeah. i think people who've done horrible things should have trans healthcare in prison#but thats not even getting into my opinions on prison abolishment. thats just talking about prison existing now#so idk if yall know what case im talking about? i could find it if anyones curious i didnt dig into it at allll#just some stoned opinions from a gender fucked bitch#ummm prisoners deserve healthcare?#duh#trans rights are human rights#pre school levels of basic respect#ive been thinking about this way too much lately since im all gender fucky and i feel like trans women are just .... intelligent about those#feelings. yk? and that's me generalizing but i mean all the Tumblr ladies i see on my dash talking about life and experiences#they are smart ladies#tumblr promotes terf content and deletes trans womens blogs and i try to follow trans women but tumblr still recommends terf blogs to me#i am angry bout it#i have a very complex and long standing relationship with gender identity and gender fuckery *pulls out my resumé*#idk thoughts#im stoned sorry yall#serious post but im not being unstupid#what#okay#bye
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💭 and Arkham
𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓸𝓷𝓼 — send 💭 + a topic to receive a headcanon about said topic.
After his first escape from Arkham, Roman was quick to make connections, working to ensure that even if he did end up back inside that cursed cell, his legal aides would immediately begin the process of getting him out and in the meantime, he could look forwards to calling upon a few ‘favours’ after several bribes and threats were made. Several psychiatrists actually thought his behaviour had improved after his first stay but truthfully Roman just learned to keep a low profile and to make the most of things, reestablishing connections on the inside before his inevitable release once enough strings had been pulled. The orderlies know better and that Roman is simply playing the system but cannot say or do much about it as they’re only paid to keep patients in line. Roman on the other hand considers Arkham an insult; he’s not crazy, just corrupt.
#queen-of-the-mad#memes ;; receive a headcanon#Thank you for this!#I usually write about how much of a fucking handful Roman is but he gets worse later on#Aka he gets smart about it and it's a nightmare for the system trying to keep him IN#He's rich enough and has a bad reputation so nobody wants to end up getting a visit from the False Face Society#Bribes and corruption are how Gotham works#After the first visit Roman just makes small talk with a few people he was okay with before#Won't be long before he ends up getting released on some falsified technicality#Blackgate would be able to keep him in better but Roman is a controversial prisoner what with being trans#Do they put him in the male wing and risk his and other men's lives?#Nah throw his ass in Arkham that's easier
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Why am I, the Woman, villanized?
I'm a full-time student, and I work 30 hours a week (that's 6 hours short of full-time), and yet, I can't sit and relax without someone huffing and puffing about something being dirty.
I'm not the one who fills the sink.
I'm not the one who fills the trash.
I'm not the one who leaves my dirty clothes all over the bathroom floor (and those clothes fucking stink... They smell worse than the literal boxes of cat shit that sit in the same room)
I'm not the one that hogs the clothes machines for DAYS at a time because I can't be arsed to move them.
There are two cats. One isn't mine, but I am the one caring for both cats full time. Emptying the boxes, buying and administering the flea meds, cleaning and filling water/food bowls.
I'm afraid to start a video game. 1. Because nobody can fucking respect that I'm trying to enjoy something and 2. Because when the dishes pile up in the sink, I'm the one stuck dealing with it.
There are fast food cups rotting in the bedroom because I am not cleaning up after a grown-ass man (they've been accumulating since we broke up (August))
There is shit accumulating on the table.
I will move out when the lease is up. And when I do, I hope these boys fucking suffer as they realize they ran off one of the most patient women they'll ever find.
#im mouthy sure#but im pretty patient#i can think of so many people who would've already left#or just stopped picking up after them#i hate this fucking country#because I SHOULD be able to live independently like the adults my age did 20 years ago#i feel like a prisoner#unfortunately women shoulder an immense emotional burden that men dont fucking understand#and that burden is DRAINING#its hard to work a job that drains you and then come home to man-children who drain you#i just wanna live alone in a one room one bathroom hole with a veiw#WALGREENS KEEPS PROCESSING MY FUCKING REFILL BUT NEVER ACTUALLY FILL IT#FUCK#god damn groundskeeper makes hos job harder on himself by pointing the blower into the corner and blowing debris into the apartment#fucking roomate who doesn't fucking understand how fucking doors work tries to tell me im wrong#THERES A GAP IN THE DOOR WHERE THE FUCKING BUGS GET IN THIS PLACE WAS BUILT CHEAP#I FUCKING HATE HOW INCOMPETENT SOME MEN ARE and they like to act so smart#AND THEY FUCKING MAKE SNIDE REMARKS ABOUT YOUR AGGRAVATION but YOU cant do it back#Most of the men Ive met are so GODDAMN SELFISH#i wish my mom would let me be gay. Not only do I want to try it but also... women have a tenderness that most men lack#im so fucking tired#and fucking annoyed#i cant do my fucking laundry#yeah the washer is available but I cant dry the clothes. and leaving the damp clothes in the washer is fucking stupid#thats how you get mildew stink#can you guys hope i get the LBL internship? 🙏#it provides money and lodging (and experience lol) and its IN THE WOODS THE FUCKING NATIONAL PARK YALL#LBL is Land Between the Lakes National Park in KY and I wanna be there#Id actually like to work there too ngl#in the nature
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have an excerpt from the first book where the protagonist in this high fantasy setting finds a picture of the moon landing:
The picture he was cleaning showed an armored figure standing in a desolate landscape. It had no weapon, but held a staff bearing a strange, stiff banner. The visor of this figure’s helmet was entirely of gold, without eye slits or ventilation; in its polished surface the deathly desert could be seen in reflection, and nothing more.
This warrior of a dead world affected me deeply, though I could not say why or even just what emotion it was I felt. In some obscure way, I wanted to take down the picture and carry it—not into our necropolis but into one of those mountain forests of which our necropolis was (as I understood even then) an idealized but vitiated image. It should have stood among trees, the edge of its frame resting on young grass. (...)
"(...)Today I took the notion to clean it again. And it needs it, see how nice it’s brightening up? There’s your blue Urth coming over his shoulder again, fresh as the Autarch’s fish.”
All this time the name of Vodalus was echoing in my mind. I felt certain the old man had come down from his ladder only because I had mentioned it, and I wanted to ask him about it. But try as I might, I could find no way to bring the conversation around to it. When I had been silent a moment too long and was afraid he was about to mount his ladder and begin cleaning again, I managed to say, “Is that the moon? I have been told it’s more fertile.”
“Now it is, yes. This was done before they got it irrigated. See that graybrown? In those times, that’s what you’d see if you looked up at her. Not green like she is now. Didn’t seem so big either, because it wasn’t so close in—that’s what old Branwallader used to say. Now there’s trees enough on it to hide Nilammon, as the saw goes.”
I want a typical old fantasy setting with castles and dragons but you regularly see stuff like this in the world
#the book of the new sun#the shadow of the torturer#this fantasy setting has magic and creatures and shit but also THE MOON LANDING HAPPENED#THE PROTAGONIST LIVES IN AN OLD NONFUNCTIONING SPACESHIP#VOICE ACTIVATED SMART PRISONS EXIST#ITS THE COOLEST SHIT!!!!
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Dirty, Dirty Girl || PSH, 18+
Summary: You were the police captain's daughter. He was the resident bad boy. It was like a match made in lustful heaven.
Pairings: badboy!Sunghoon × police captain's daughter!reader
Warnings: Smut minors DNI, oral (f receiving), semi-public sex, exhibitionism, p in v, rough sex, unprotected sex (not for you), fingering, slight thigh riding, daddy kink, dumbification, breeding kink, degradation, multiple orgasms cause I'm a lonely piece of shit, cumming inside, mention of cigarettes, hoon and reader match each other's freaks a lot, me being a simp for park Sunghoon
A/N: yo yo yo Enhablr guess who's back from her monthly hibernation ME. Kinda died while I was writing this i initially wanted to do something really long, like with backstory and all that, but I neither had the time nor the energy so just enjoy the horny smut I wrote yipeee I hope my beloved @jaeyunluvr will enjoy this!!
Sunghoon's fingers toyed with the belt loop of his ripped jeans as he sat in a lazy posture in the almost empty library. This author says 'almost empty', because of the strict librarian dressed up in what appeared to be a sweater from the 70's and one Jay Park with his girlfriend, sitting in the corner and giggling over some book.
Sunghoon scoffed as he glanced at them from time to time, taking a swig from his bottle of 'water' everytime Jay's girlfriend slapped his chest playfully. Though Sunghoon was externally sporting a disgusted face (complete with his iconic side eye), internally, he was waiting for his own girlfriend to show up.
It was a calm Friday evening, which usually meant that Sunghoon would be living up to his ice prince title by going to some or the other party on the other side of town. But since last week (or was it last month?), he had been confined to the torturous prison of being tutored by a classmate in order to improve his grades. His parents had imposed it upon him after what had been his fifteenth run in with the local police captain.
Fortunately though, the captain, someone who was exactly like Sunghoon's father but only more stricter, had let Sunghoon go, on the condition that he'd attend his tutoring lessons. If he didn't, it would be straight to juvie.
Though Sunghoon wasn't someone who payed attention to threats and whatnot, having grown used to it after his reputation of the 'bad boy' was sought after by other people, he payed careful attention to his threat. Specifically, he paid careful attention to his tutor.
You.
His beautiful, smart girlfriend of a year now.
Fortunately for him, you were the one assigned by your teachers to be his tutor—all of them thinking that your inherent goodness might just rub off on him.
Unfortunately for him, you were also the police captain's beloved only child.
Sunghoon heard the door to the library slowly creak as it opened. Snapping his head to the direction of the sound, he beamed with happiness as he saw you, dressed in your usual shirt and cardigan along with a skirt that reached just above your knees. The sight of you drove Sunghoon crazy.
"Hey Hoonie." You smiled, as you sat down next to him on the chair, pulling yourself closer to the desk. No sooner had you set your bag down on the table, than Sunghoon had his hand placed on your thigh, gently squeezing it.
"Sunghoon." You glared playfully at him, "We need to study, come on."
"Whatever you say, princess." Sunghoon chuckled, opening up his books with a flick of his fingers whilst you arranged your own material on the table. He unconsciously scooted his chair closer to you, earning a rightful glare from the librarian at the sound of the chair scraping on the floor. Looking apologetically over at the librarian, you moved your book closer to his, ready to start the new (boring) math lesson.
••••••••••••••••
"So if you divide two here, what will you get?" You glanced at Sunghoon, taking your eyes off the book. You softly smiled when you saw him slightly dozing off. Sleep coated his features rather adorably to you.
"Hoonie..." You nudged him slightly with your elbow, "Baby, wake up." As a second measure, you leaned over and pressed your lips to his cheek, leaving a bit of your shiny lip balm on his porcelain skin.
"I was waiting for that." Sunghoon's soft voice vibrated through your being, as his eyes fluttered open. With a mischievous smirk on his face, he extended his arm and wrapped it around your waist, bringing his lips down to kiss all over your neck.
"Baby." You said with a stern tone, trying not to squirm out loud, due to the cheek-warming sensation of his arm squeezing your thigh and his lips brushing your neck so gently, "Sunghoon, we're in a library."
"And the way to the bathrooms is there." He tilted his head up from your neck and looked at you with darkened eyes, biting his bottom lip with his vampire-like teeth, "Come on princess." His mouth twisted into a smirk, "I know you want it."
Biting your own lip, you rolled your eyes, before closing your books and depositing them inside your bag. Sunghoon followed likewise, his hand not leaving your waist even once.
"Fuck you Park Sunghoon." You mumbled, as you walked over to where the sign written 'Bathroom' was pointing, "Do you have any idea what my dad would say if he found out about us?"
"Oh shush." Sunghoon chuckled, pressing a kiss to the side of your forehead, "He loves me enough to summon me to his office on a weekly basis."
"Keep up the delulu score Hoon." You giggled.
"More delusional than you?"
"Hey!"
•••••••••••
Sunghoon began to lead you through the library and into the dark bathroom, a sense of urgency in your steps as you made your way through the room, his hands only straying away from your skin for a few seconds, before going at it again.
You were a tangled mess, stumbling through the darkness, throwing your dignity off in corners neither of you didn't really care for and soon, your back was pressed against the graffiti-filled wall, with Sunghoon's hard-on rubbing against your skirt in such an agressive way, that you thought you might as well have cummed without even starting. You couldn't take it anymore and grabbed his neck, pulling him closer and pressed your lips to his. He didn't hesitate for a second and cooperated, biting your lower lip to have better penetration for his tongue.
"So needy for me, huh princess?" Sunghoon smirked through the kiss. His right hand went underneath your skirt, his fingers groping your thigh tightly until he was able to find the waistband of your panties, ripping it off faster than you could register anything. His lips never left your body even once, the pretty pink of it, decorating your skin with marks that you know you'll have to make up a curling iron excuse for.
"Hoonie—don't tease." You whined, your lips searched desperately for his.
"Patience baby." Sunghoon chuckled again, "Or does my princess not want my tongue, hm?"
You squirmed when you felt him quickly slipping a finger in your pussy, smiling into your neck as he felt you moan into his hand. Sunghoon pressed a kiss against your neck, as he wasted no time, thumb rubbing against your clit as his finger penetrated your hole. He stuck another finger in, loving the fact he had you trembling under him. His two fingers curved inside of you, watching as your thighs shook at his unexpected action.
"Fuck—daddy!" Your body shuttered as your lips let a moan escape, throwing your head back as his fingers worked rapidly around you. The small noises escaping your mouth showed Sunghoon how much you loved it as he pumped his finger into you.
“God — you’re so wet.” Sunghoon hummed, letting his head rest on your shoulder as he added another finger into the mix.
“fuck—“ you muttered, wincing a bit as his thick digits stretched you out. You spread your legs, giving Sunghoon a better angle to sink his fingers deeper into your pussy.
His lips angrily crashed into yours as his pace on your pussy slowed down, only slightly. You were moaning into each other's lips, a pornographic scene painted the library's bathroom and the thought occured to you only now, whether or not you had shit the door.
"Hoon—" you broke the kiss, your hands scratched at his back, "Hoonie—the door."
Sunghoon paused, a warm breath echoed against your skin as he mumbled a tiny 'fuck' and looked back, his eyes tracing the doorknob. You took the opportunity to stare at his neck, soft skin covering the strong thews of muscle, with a delicious looking vein tracing it like a never-ending valley.
Before you could stop yourself, your mouth was on his neck, leaving wet kisses at his veins, practically sucking the life out of his neck like a starved vampire. Sunghoon's fingers were still inside your gaping hole, something you didn't bother to remember until they suddenly snapped up and bumped against your cunt, making you gasp against Sunghoon's neck.
"Needy fucking baby." Sunghoon whispered, bringing his free hand up from your waist to stroke your cheeks gently. Looking at his gentle eyes, you seized the chance to crash your lips against his once more, tasting the intoxicating flavour of cigarettes and gin from his beautiful lips.
"Fuck princess...let me...let me taste you." Sunghoon whispered breathless against your lips, like he needed it badly, and it did make you stop, gently fluttering your eyes open with your hand hovering over his abs.
He gave you a devilish smirk, before he got on his knees and his face disappeared between your legs. Your breath started shaking as you leaned against your palms to have a better view of Sunghoon. Without any warning, he slammed his lips, still wet from your saliva, on your folds.You immediately throw your head back as you sink your fingers into his hair, while trying to keep your voice down.
He was just giving you a sweet little kisses at first, starting from your clit down to your pulsating core. He repeated this few times, before he penetrated his tongue inside you. You bite your lips really hard, as you desperately tried to be as quiet as possible. You were starting to closing your legs from that unimaginable pleasure, but Sunghoon had his strong hands on your thighs, keeping them from crushing his head.
You tasted amazing, he couldn't get enough of your juice and he needed more, he was voracious. That was why he buried his face even deeper into your core, making you arch your back and grab Sunghoon's hair really hard, that you almost pulled some out.
Your body was teetering on the edge, every stroke of Sunghoon's tongue pushing you closer to the brink. The way he alternated between nosing at your clit and teasing your entrance was driving you wild, your breath coming in short, desperate gasps. You could feel the pressure building, your muscles tightening as you tried to hold on, wanting to savor every second of the intoxicating pleasure he was giving you.
“Deeper, please. Almost there.” You gasped out as Sunghoon's tongue sucked mercilessly on your pussy, “Fuck, you feel so good, Hoonie.”
A keening moan tore from Sunghoon’s throat at your praise and that, combines with a particularly precise thrust of his fingers and his wet tongue pressing tightly against your clit made you stumble over the edge. Your orgasm ripped through you in waves, legs quivering, pussy clenching around Sunghoon’s tongue and chest heaving. Vaguely, you registered him moaning against you, his eyes falling shut as he worked you through your orgasm.
"fuck.." you heard (felt) Sunghoon groan, "that was some nice dinner."
"Fuck. You. Park. Sunghoon." You gasped with each letter, as Sunghoon pressed his hands to your thighs once more, "My dad is gonna kill me for being home late!"
"Poor baby." Sunghoon mockingly cooed at you, "Daddy's little girl aren't you?" His tone of voice had you struggling to shush your whimpering, "I'll drop you princess, just give him the old 'we were studying hard excuse'."
"The only thing that was hard here was your dick Park Sunghoon."
"And yet you love me."
•••••••••••
Your mouth stretched into a smile, as you felt your baby sister cuddle closer into your arms, all wrapped comfortably in her blanket. You truly loved her with all your heart but you hadn't gotten the opportunity to spend much time with her, as she was always with your mother. But for this evening, while your parents would be gone out on their sudden date, you'd have all the time in the world.
"Y/N honey!" You heard your mom call you from her room, adjacent to your sister's. Calling back to her, you put your sister down in her bassinet and with a twirl of her baby mobile, you skipped out the room and went into her room.
"You called, mom?" You said, eyeing your mother, who was re-applying her lipstick.
"Honey, Sunghoon's in the living room for you." Your mother said with a pop of her lips, "He came all the way here with his books so late at night, the poor boy."
Your stomach did a double flip when you heard Sunghoon's name came out of your mother's lips. Though your dad did not get along with him much, your mother adored him. Rather, she adored the innocent personality that Sunghoon had adopted specifically for her, for some stupid future plan he had created where he'd reveal your relationship with him to your parents as soon as he struck gold.
You had planned another tutoring session with Sunghoon that evening, but you must have completely forgot about it on hearing about your parent's date. Internally slapping yourself, you thanked your mother and made your way down to the living room, where you knew your worst nightmare would be sitting.
Your father and Park Sunghoon in one room.
•••••••••••••••
"So.." Sunghoon winced at the sound of the gruff male voice, "How have the tutoring lessons been?"
"Good, sir." Sunghoon painfully responded, "I've been doing better in class." With what he hoped was a goodie-two-shoes smile, he added, "All thanks to your daughter."
"My daughter, yes." The elder man nodded and coughed, adjusting his tie, "Remember, she's my daughter. So don't you try anything funny with her, got it?"
"Oh no, never sir." Sunghoon responded with a voice that he thought was a scandalized one, "I'd never do that." He tried hard not to remember your fucked out face the day before in the library.
"If you even go near her—"
"Dad, can you stop threatening him already?" You groaned, stepping into the room with a guffaw. If you asked Sunghoon later on, whether or not he pressed his legs together tighter after seeing your thighs in shorts that were definetly too short, he would probably say no.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't remember we had a session." You say down beside your dad, with your eyes glued to Sunghoon, "Um, we can study for an hour or two if you want."
"You can study until your mother and I get back." Your dad responded with a soft look towards you. You smiled back at him and glanced towards Sunghoon.
A devious smirk was almost tugging at the corner of his lips.
••••••••••••••
"Park Sunghoon, if you touch my thigh one more time, I'll make you do this entire chapter on your own."
"Oh what shame, I was positively dying to do it with you." Sunghoon said with his usual shit-eating grin.
"Why am I dating you again?" You rolled your eyes and turned your face away from him and towards your book. Soon enough however, when Sunghoon's fingers grabbed your chin ever so gently and turned it towards him, you were met with his eyes again.
"Because you love me." His cold breath against your skin made you softly gasp. Bringing your eyes down to his lips, you moved closer, before you were almost left without any space between the both of you, lips ghosting against each other in an attempt for a fervent kiss.
"Aren't we supposed to be studying, pretty?" Sunghoon let out a cold laugh, bringing his hand to cup your cheek again. But just as you were about to kiss–
Waahhhh!
"shit." You mumbled, darting your eyes towards the upstairs bedrooms, "I think she woke up."
"Your sister?" Sunghoon asked, releasing his grip on your thigh so you could get up, "Does she need food or something?"
"Nah she ate already." You replied, signalling him to follow you up the stairs, "She just gets cranky sometimes...you know–without mom."
"Ahh." Sunghoon nodded (as if he understood much about babies).
He promptly followed you into the dark room, which had all sorts of baby toys scattered on the floor, with only a faint blue light illuminating it's walls. In the middle of the room, was a bassinet, where a screaming baby ould be seen rolling in her sheets. Sunghoon's eyes carefully followed your hands, gently reaching out to your baby sister, all the while cooing her name.
"There, there I'm here, it's okay." You said gently, reaching into the bassinet and picking up the tiny bundle of blankets, "It's alright."
"Does she usually just stop crying if you say that?" Sunghoon whispered, his eyes never leaving the baby in your arms.
"You do, so I guess it'll work on her." You softly giggled, still rocking your sister forward and back, her cries died down after some time, although she still remained wide awake, staring curiously at the new presence in the room standing next to you.
"Why is she looking at me as if she wants to kill me." Sunghoon asked, eliciting a laugh out of you.
"She's a baby, Hoon. She looks at everyone like that." You laughed again, looking at your sister practically glaring at Sunghoon, "I don't think she likes her future brother-in-law that much though."
"Brother in law huh?" Sunghoon asked in a cocky manner, "Well, my apologies great princess." He lowered his head towards your sister, who magically seemed to be satisfied. Her tiny mouth framed an adorable yawn, and her eyelids slowly drooped until she was fast asleep in your arms again.
You lowered her into a bassinet once more, adjusting her blankets around her so that she could cuddle into it in her sleep, a fact you knew from your nights of babysitting. Looking at her once last time, you activated the baby mobile, and stepped out, with Sunghoon following behind you. You shut the door behind you as quietly as possible, breathing a sigh of relief that your sister didn't wake up.
"How about we study in your room?" Sunghoon suggested from behind you, "If she wakes up again, you don't have to climb the stairs."
"Good idea."
••••••••••••••••••••
You didn't know how much time has passed since you and Sunghoon had been doing physics equations in your bedroom, with him sitting on your computer chair, and you sitting on the edge of the bed, with books propped up in both your laps. Time slowly ticked by in the lighthearted conversations and stupid questions about gravity, that you didn't have the chance to notice how particularly delicious and inviting Sunghoon's lap was looking. But now, in the peaceful silence, you could practically hear your eyelashes flutter at the sight of his lap.
"Staring are we, princess?" Sunghoon chuckled, snapping you out of your daze.
"Nope." You responded with a smile, like a complete and utter liar, "Just—got distracted."
"By my legs?" He laughed again, "Aww, does my princess want to sit on my lap?"
"Sunghoon no." You rolled your eyes, quickly changing the subject, "We should study something else, I'll get the chemistry manuals."
But just as you got up, Sunghoon swiftly grabbed your wrist, pulling you harshly against him, such that you perfectly fell onto his thigh. His arms settled on your waist to balance you, and his lips pressed a wet kiss to your neck. One of his hands travelled up your body to brush a stray strand of hair behind your ear, an action which sent butterflies wilding in your stomach, and the north sea wilding in your pants.
"Hoonie~" you said, silently gasping at the way he steadied his thigh such that it out pressure against your cunt through your shorts, "We shouldn't....."
But Sunghoon said nothing at all, merely resorting to squeezing your waist with his hands, and pressing his mouth to your neck, suckling hard on your skin. His obsession for leaving his beautiful marks on you was not letting go, and soon enough, you had to give in, reciprocating with a deep mouthed kiss to his puckered lips.
Sunghoon's tongue swirled inside your mouth, and you could taste the flavour of cherry pie, a bit of vodka too and a whole lot of love. You slightly bit his lip, putting your hand on his chest and pulling his shirt towards you.
When Sunghoon felt you rock against him slightly he knew he had broken that barrier, which was keeping you from letting him absolutely ravish your pussy. You were never this forward with him, and was always the one to stop Sunghoon when he got a bit carried away. Yet there you were, gently rocking against him while you kissed, moving against his jeans almost desperately, rubbing against him until there was a rock hard bulge for you to move against and he had to gently push you off him.
“Sunghoon,” you basically mewl his name, eight letters that roll off your tongue with little effort. He doesn’t seem to acknowledge you, his kisses growing harsher on the delicate skin of your neck. Threading your fingers through his hair, you decide to try again, speaking a bit louder this time. “Daddy, please.”
“What do you want, then? You can tell me,” he kisses you on the lips, softly at first. What starts as nothing more than a sweet kiss turns into a needier one, his hard on poking you through your shorts. “Come on. Tell me, baby. What does my sweet girl want?”
He peels his eyes open, takes in the sight of you, and lifts his hands from your waist to remove your top. He easily pulls it off of you and discards it in a corner, and before you know it, your bare chest is being massaged by Sunghoon's hand. He bites his lip as he plays with your nipples, reveling in the way you whimper at the sensitive touch.
"You like that princess?" Sunghoon asks in his cocky manner, "Shouldn't we continue this somewhere else?"
Before you could respond, his hands are propped up against your ass and he's carrying you to your bed, laying you down ever so gently. You let out a whine at his hands leaving your skin, but quickly shut up as you watch him carefully take his belt off, setting it aside on the bed. His hard on was visible from his pants, and the sight of it already had you cumming.
His tongue swiped over his lips, wetting it before, he swiftly took his shirt off, revealing his chiseled figure. Your eyes lingered over his abs, going further down to his length as he took his pants off. Sunghoon stood, like some Greek god before you, handsome, carved and waiting to be pleasured. And you were more than glad to let him use your hole as his fucktoy for the evening.
"You'll be quiet, yeah princess?" Sunghoon crawled up with bed and got on top of you, getting his face as near to your as possible, "Don't wanna wake your sister up now do we?"
With a smirk, Sunghoon lowered his mouth to your neck, kissing down your collarbone, his hands exploring every curve of your body. The sensation was electric, igniting every nerve ending in ways you never imagined possible. He moved with the grace of a predator, just as fierce as he was intoxicating.
"Tell me what you want, baby." He said, in between kisses, "Tongue as usual?"
"Please Hoonie." You sigh, smiling at him. He starts to kiss down the length of your body, starting with feather light kisses at your collarbone, and going to rougher kisses down your stomach. Your eyes catch Sunghoon's biceps flex as he spreads your legs open, like he's preparing some food to devour on a silver platter.
The sight in front of him was almost too arousing for his already too-rock hard length. Strings of your arousal all so pretty and ready for him to use, your swollen clit that peaked out from your pink folds, such a beautiful cunt he was about to savor. Sunghoon licked a fat stripe up from the bottom to the top of your slit, gently placing teasing kisses on your sensitive bud.
“Daddy — oh! Mm.. oh my God oh!” His ears soaked in the sounds of your moans, each shaky breath, every gasp and groan, all of it because of him. Sunghoon could never get over your taste, you were oh so sweet, a nectar of the highest quality, he thanked whatever god there was for the privilege to savor you. Every swipe of his muscle made you sticky and beautiful, as your cunt became deliciously glossy he become more insatiable. He lifted his head periodically, only to coo or groan.
“Fuck me baby, taste so fucking good — feels good doesn’t it my little princess? Yes it does” he murmured as we dropped his head back down.The corners of his mouth curled up in a beautiful smirk.
"Stupid baby. Don't have any shame fucking me with your baby sister sleeping next door?" Tsk tsk." Sunghoon clicked his tongue, you couldn't register much, though his tongue was not inside you, you could still feel it's touch, "Dirty dirty princess."
Your head flew back when he began to swirl his tongue around your clit, euphoria gnawing at any sense of inhibitions you had left as you practically wailed in ecstasy. You felt all of your limbs turn to jelly the second Sunghoon suddenly plunged his thick tongue back into your entrance.
"Sunghoon!" you mewled as he thrusted his wet muscle deep inside your juicy, pulsing hole. Your breasts rose and fell quickly as you felt yourself careening towards the edge of your release. You screamed his name as your body grew stiff, your walls hugging his tongue as it relentlessly massaged the inside of your gushing cunt.
Sunghoon groaned as he slurped your delicious juices like a man parched. You saw stars as your body was overwhelmed with wave after wave of bliss, your mind foggy as you practically rode his face. Eventually, your breathing began to settle as you lowered your hips back onto the mattress.
Sunghoon took note of the way your thighs slightly shook. Just after my tongue, he silently chuckled, feeling proud of himself. Slowly, he rose up and brought his hands back to your waist, steadying himself on top of you. You could feel his hardened cock just touch your vulva.
"Hoonie~" you groaned, "Hoonie~need your cock please."
Sunghoon did nothing but let out a rather attractive chuckle, while his mouth formed into a devilish smirk. If you knew Park Sunghoon, you knew that smirk meant trouble.
His hips were easing back and forth, the fat tip of his swollen cock rubbing all in between your slicked folds. And there were, watching him with a gaping mouth as he sits there and teases your cunt.
"Daddy~" a pathetic whine now leaves your lips, a desperate cry of help that makes you look so innocent, so pure to Sunghoon, it almost drove him crazy.
"Poor baby." He cooed at you, his angry tip still teasing your vulva, "Want daddy's cock so bad huh?" His low chuckle sent a wave through your body, "C'mon princess, be a good girl and tell me how much you want my cock."
"Please daddy~" you let out a high pitched whine again, all your self respect was lost for his cock, "~need your cock so bad."
Sunghoon muttered your name, low in the base of his throat, before he leaned in. Your lips met slowly, molding together in harmony for one slow second before you opened your mouth. Inviting him in, you kissed delicately and placed your arms on his sides. Your heads turned in opposite directions, opening up for more room to explore with your tongues. The intensity grew, as did the burning desire in his core to feel your pussy. To feel you, live you, breathe you, he was going insane. Just touching your hair, trying his hardest not to mess it up, was sending hot arousal down his cock into his swollen head.
"My dumb little princess." Sunghoon mumbled, you could feel his pre-cum slowly drip down on your thigh from his bare cock hanging above you, "So needy for her daddy."
You couldn't even respond before you feel the head of his dick teasing your entrance, and you slowly lower yourself onto him, taking him inside inch by delicious inch. You moan as he stretches you, filling you up completely.
Once he is fully sheathed inside you, you stay still for a moment, enjoying the sensation of being impaled on his thick cock. He listened to your whines, nodding while you blabbered whatever you were blabbering, slowly pushing himself in you. You shivered at the additional heat burning from your lower stomach. You had been pleading for this and still it felt as though your mind would rupture at any given second.
The feel of his large length inside of you lights your nerves on fire. His swollen cock head kisses your cervix just right, sensing socks of pleasure throughout your dripping core. You're shuddering and shaking in pleasure with every move you make, which causes his cock to slide deeply in and out of you; hitting your special spot just right. Sunghoon was writhing in his ego at the fact that he wasn't even going at his normal pace.
"Feelin' so good, tight little pussy wrapped around me so perfect-fuck," Sunghoon rasped as his nails dug into your sides. You cried out when he brushed over your g-spot, stars bursting across your vision as your legs shook. Sunghoon grunted as he started to pick up the pace, your cheeks clapping against the mattress as he thrusted into your weeping cunt.
"D-Daddyyyy~" you rasped as your jaw went slack. Sunghoon hissed between gritted teeth as your cunt convulsed around his cock, sucking him in deeper as he shallowly thrusted into you.
"Yeah that's it—soak daddy's cock," he breathed as he held your asscheeks apart. Your hole puckered around his girth as you shivered, your hips shifting back on their own as Sunghoon fucked you through your high.
"So—shit–tight for me." He growls out, sitting on his knees while his massive hands easily hold onto your hips, lifting you up with him while he pounded into you, your moans mixed with his as he used you like you were simply a fleshlight— compared to his massive frame, you are.
He moves your hips away as he pulls out, suddenly slamming himself all the way back in before you can protest. He drags a whiny moan out of you, pain and pleasure mixing as you can feel a familiar warmth building up in your stomach. He leans down, his breath hot against your ear as he mutters out pure nonsense. His voice sounds hotter than ever and you listen intently, dumbly nodding your head to his words despite not understanding him.
As the tightness in your stomach continues to build, your fingers loop through the softest curls of Sunghoon's and tug, pulling his face down to meet yours. Your lips crashing together in a heated kiss, tongues swirling against each other. Sunghoon's pace quickens, his movements sloppy and desperate as he chases his release and you wrap your legs around his waist, locking your ankles together behind him and pressing him deeper inside you.
“F-fuck, i’m gonna cum, you gotta let go” Sunghoon pants, pulling back from your kiss slightly to speak but you shake your head.
“Inside, Hoonie please. Ngh– want you to fill me up” you moan against his lips, your words causing his eyes to roll back in his head as he returns his lips to yours.
With one last thrust, a low guttural moan pulls from the back of Sunghoon’s throat and you feel his cock twitching inside you, flicking up towards your sweet spot a final time. His twitching and the warmth of his release pumping into you pushes you over the edge, the knot in your stomach snapping as a stream of moans falls from your lips.
Sunghoon's lust blown eyes rolled into the back of his head as he witnessed you squirting messily around his cock. It was the hottest thing he's seen in his life. Oh, how you're fucking perfect for him.
“Fuck—you want my baby, huh princess? You don't wanna wait anymore?.” Your boyfriend points out while pistoning in and out of you at an uncontrollable speed. “Shit–you're so messy." He thrusts into you mercilessly like an addict, your pussy was the highest high he could ever reach, "My messy girl."
Resting your forehead against his, you blissfully order, “Cum inside me, daddy please.”
And that was all Sunghoon needed to hear to release his pent up please. His balls tensed as he bucked up deep inside of your cunt, only to unleash rope after rope of his cum. You hold on to his shoulders as he empties his balls inside of you; painting your hole white with his thick, hot seed.
"Fucking hell." You swore loudly, falling down on the mattress with a thud. Your chest rose up and down rapidly, your breath slowing with each minute. You saw Sunghoon steady himself before he pulled out. You winced when you felt your hole being emptied.
Your eyes followed Sunghoon as he sat on his knees, throwing his head back, with a panting chest. You didn't register much of him sliding into bed next to you, your brain was too fucked out to notice anything at all.
"Should I run a bath, baby?" He asked gently, tracing circles on your thigh with his finger. You twisted your body towards him and latched onto his arm, bringing yourself closer to him.
"Mum and dad won't be here for another two hours." You told him, your hand cradling his cheek. His jawline was so sharp you were surprised it hadn't cut you yet.
"Two hours huh?" Sunghoon asked, the smirk back on his face, as he took your hand from his cheek and kissed it.
"Round two?"
Taglist: @jjongsha @furina-toko @jakeswifez @kpopaussieline @lvnglysunoo @hearts4yawnzzn @pasteltheghost16
#sunghoon smut#park sunghoon#park sunghoon x reader#sunghoon#park sunghoon smut#sunghoon hard thoughts#sunghoon hard hours#park sunghoon hard thoughts#park sunghoon hard hours#enhypen smut#enhypen smut imagines#enhypen smut reactions#enha smut#enha hard thoughts#enha hard hours#enhypen hard hours#enhypen hard thoughts#sunghoon imagines#sunghoon smau#sunghoon fanfic#enhypen × reader#enha × reader#sunghoon × reader#heeseung hard thoughts#heeseung hard hours#jay hard thoughts#jay hard hours#jake hard hours#jake hard thoughts#enhypen fic
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.. sebatsian meets an old friend again (reader) after he was put in prison and taken by urbanshade… reader was sent to the blacksite by urbanshade but they don’t recognize sebastian (i’m in need of angst)
𝜗 ˖ ❝ why can't we laugh now, like we did then? ᵕ ♡
— in which time has flown by: you look the same, yet he looks so different. ✧
↷ sfw 𓈒 decided to lump these two asks together cause they're similar 𓈒 angst 𓈒 sebastian backstory spoilers 𓈒 lowkey (highkey) rushed
12 years.
It's been 12 years since they took him away for good.
12 years since he died.
You knew he couldn't have done it: sure, SEBASTIAN has a bit of a smart tongue, but he would never actually harm another person. Let alone kill 9 others. Yet, the charged him for it. Yet, they sentenced him to death row. Yet, they electrocuted him to death.
And only 2 years after they killed him, did they finally realize he wasn't the murderer. 2 years after they took him from you, did they finally realize they made a mistake.
How old would he have been now? 32? No, 31: his birthday hasn't passed yet. Speaking of his birthday, you should probably celebrate for him soon.
But it's hard to celebrate when you ended up in prison yourself.
Same as your late friend, you had been falsely accused. Same as your late friend, you had been sentenced to death row. Same as your late friend, you were going to die.
You wondered: would they put you on the same chair he once sat on?
You would never find out.
A company—Urbanshade, as they called themselves—showed up within your final days. They offered a way out, a chance to live, a chance to redeem. Of course, given the awards, it was nothing short of sketchy. It would be a big risk.
You signed up, along with many others.
It didn't matter anyway. Worst case scenario, you would die either way. You had to try and live for Sebastian. To make it to his birthday, and celebrate it for him.
Suited up in diving gear, a collar-like mechanism attached to your neck, you were ready to go.
You passed door 31.
While you were expecting the dangers that came with a mission like this, you weren't expecting them to be.. well, this.
Entities whose entire body was simply a face rushed up and down the halls, mangling everything in their path. Their razor, jagged teeth could easily tear your human flesh to shreds. Shrouded squid-like entities that scream as you shine your light at them or stand too close. A deformed bull shark with its thousands of eyes pulling you, ushering you to look at it. All entities that didn't make sense, yet still existed before your very eyes—and ears.
Door after door, you awaited a threat to show up. Would the lights flicker? Would they already be off? Would a giant window be looking into the whole room?
None of those.
Instead, a vent flew open,
—and for once, you heard a humanoid voice.
The thing—person, you reminded yourself—in the vent was not human, though. His voice did not belong to... his appearance.
His skin was a grey-blue color, matching the color of a fish more than a human. He had hair, though, and front-facing eyes. Predators eyes always faced forward, didn't they?
The.. being looked up from his tail, glowing cyan eyes scanning over your figure. He suddenly fell silent, loosing whatever words were on his tongue—well, if he had a tongue.
A look of recognition flashed in his eyes as if he had found something familiar within you. Admittedly, you found his voice fairly familiar yourself.
His tail lowered, no longer flaunting the items on display.
Eventually, he spoke up.
"[Reader]?" His name escaped his mouth (which, you now realized he did in fact have a tongue) as an almost hushed whisper. He hesitated, his mouth staying open for a few seconds more as if about to say something else before it slowly closed. He continues to stare, stare and fall silent once more.
The way he said your name was a tone that screamed yearning.
And it pulled at your heartstrings.
The way he said your name as if he had known you for his whole life, made you pause for a second.
He knew you—or, at least thought he did—but you didn't know him.
"I'm sorry," you started, speaking before you could realize just how wrong you were, "But, do we know each other?"
He blinked.
You learned his name was Sebastian—and you figured that was probably why he seemed a bit familiar to you. He reminded you of your friend, of course. Same name, similar voice, snappy tongue.. It's as if you were looking at a reflection of your late friend.
Sebastian let you stay for a bit and buy from him, occasionally making small talk. You were amazed by how low the prices were. Only 30 for one battery? You were sure it'd be something like 75 instead!
As you picked up yet another battery, he spoke to you. "Wise choice to stock up on those. There aren't very many of them down here."
"Really? I've found quite a few," You mumbled as you stuffed it into your pocket, simultaneously taking out some research and placing it on the table.
"Of course you did," Sebastian mused, grumbling slightly. He fiddled with his claws, glancing away from you.
You paused, "What's that supposed to mean?" You casted a narrowed glance over to him.
"Nothing, nothing."
Of course he couldn't expect you to recognize him. Not when they had turned him into a monster. Mutated him until nothing but his voice was slightly recognizable. Even then, years of smoking and being stuck here made his voice more gravelly than it used to be.
Sebastian knew this, but it still stung when you looked away from him without any indication you knew who he was.
Nothing was left between the two of you anymore.
But his heart, bruised and bleeding, still wished for you.
Maybe that's why he gave discounts to you. Maybe that's why he contained his snappy tongue for once. Maybe that's why he casted you an almost desperate look when you told me you were going.
And maybe that's why he wished he reached out for you—but he didn't. He let you crawl back through that went. Sebastian let you leave him just as he left you.
So when you met him again, in the dimly dark room where he slid you a file,
—maybe that's why he vowed to make sure you make it to celebrate his birthday with him.
#( *・ω・) stick2vamp#sebastian x reader#sebastian solace x reader#sebastian solace x you#sebastian solace#pressure#pressure x reader
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CALL OF THE SEA / PART TWO
pirate poly!141 x f!reader tw: NSFW, MDNI, kidnapping, 141 are mean pirates, brief mentions of gore/death masterlist
When a group of unhinged pirates invade your small village, you're whisked away from your peaceful home and thrown on to a voyage out at sea. Forced to obtain a new role as their medic, you have no choice but to accept your fate as you join their forces and aid them in their treacherous travels.
The time you spent in the brig was frigid and isolating. Despite it being summer, the cold gusts of the sea had crept in through the thin cracks of the wooden ship, rising goosebumps on your skin and sending shivers wracking through your body. You were in no attire to accommodate the chill, only dressed in your barest of summer garments, thin and dirtied from the poverty your village lived in.
Silence became your new friend, while also your enemy. As much as you were one to appreciate the quiet of the world, the waves crashing along the sides of the ship were far too loud, taunting you with a grim reminder that you were lost at sea with no home to return to.
Your home was burned down to ash, surely with no survivors, given the state of havoc you’d returned to when Ghost told you to fetch your things. Your home didn’t treat you kindly, but it was still the place you’d grown up in and planned on dying peacefully. Now, you were a prisoner to pirates, ones only told about in silly fairy tales.
The stories of pirates had scared you when you were a young child. The elders had grouped together all children on summer nights such as this one, feeding them useless fables of the dangerous men and women that ruled the seas. They were ruthless, showing no remorse for the ones they tormented, uncaring of the bloodshed they splattered along native lands of the innocent.
That’s all they were when you were a child. Stories. Only meant to keep the youth away from the seas as not to witness them fall in and succumb to a painful death of drowning.
Now, though, it was your cruel reality. A nightmare. The pirates from those tales had been plucked straight out of the book and planted right into your life, erupting it into living hell.
Nobody had come to check on you after Ghost left you locked up in the cell. It had been hours since, the only telltale sign being the peek of sunlight poking through the small brig window and illuminating the room enough to shower you in a faint glow. There was nothing but a cot in the cell, the lower deck bare of anything useful.
Your escape would be fruitless. You’d thought about squeezing through the tiny window, but even if you managed, where would that leave you? Captured in the waves of the sea until you’d sink to the bottom in exhaustion.
You had to play it smart. Staying awake for hours alone had left you with plenty of rapid thoughts, some irrational. The best thing you’d decided in the end was to play along, gain their trust, and fulfill your role. As much as a part of you wished you were dead, it would be betraying your village, betraying Mary.
They needed to be caught. These pirates needed to pay for their crimes.
Gain their trust. Get off of the ship. Inform the nearest guard station.
When daylight fully broke, the sound of a creaky door caught your attention. More sunlight poured through the open doorway from the top of the stairs, showcasing one of the pirates. This time, it wasn’t Ghost, but instead, the one who had tossed you over their shoulder like a weak sack of potatoes.
Gaz said nothing as he descended down the stairs. In his hand was a steaming bowl, swirling around him like an ominous mist. His eyes locked on to yours, hardened from years of thievery and slaughter. There wasn’t an ounce of kindness in them, nor indication that he was anything besides a sailing machine designed to follow Captain’s orders.
You watched keenly as he approached your cell. He stood over you like a brewing storm cloud, shadowing you from the stretch of light behind him.
For a moment, the two of you sat there frozen. You, terrified and cautious. Him, off putting and brooding.
Breaking the tension, his free hand scrambled for the keys latched on to the loops on his trousers, inserting one of the keys into the lock. He paused, eyeing you as a warning not to pull a brainless move. When he was satisfied you wouldn’t dare, he tugged the cell door open before stepping inside.
“Here,” he muttered, crouching down to place the bowl of food in front of you. Upon further inspection, you realized it was porridge. Bland and colorless.
You had no appetite after the horrors you’d seen. The sight of food had your stomach twisting, filling with rotten bile that begged to escape you and paint the floor beneath you.
Brimming with rage and seethe, you did the first thing that came to mind. Your hands picked up the bowl, carefully guiding it up to your mouth in attempts to seem starved. Gaz watched carefully, face set in firm lines that bristled a resentful itch inside of you.
With a turn of your hands, you tossed the porridge directly at Gaz, coating him in the piping liquid, chunks of vegetable that had been carelessly tossed in for flavor slipping down his front. His shirt and trousers were drenched, staining with the lifeless meal.
His face morphed into one of surprise before quickly shifting course. Instead, he was angry, eyebrows pulling taut, scowl curling on his lips. His eyes darkened impossibly more, filling the warm pupils with a menacing black.
“You fuckin’ wench,” he hissed, standing from his crouch to angrily swipe at the food that littered his clothing. It fell to the floor in a mushy mess right in front of you. Due to his aggression, a few stray chunks splattered back on to you in retaliation.
Realizing what you’d done, you tensed up, shuffling back from your place on the floor until your back hit the splintering walls of the ship. Gaz let out a roaring groan in irritation, sending a daggering glare your way.
“You are not hungry?” he asked tauntingly. He stepped out of the cell, slamming the door shut and locking it up tight. “Starve then. You will learn soon enough.”
Watching with widened eyes, he left the brig, grumbling angry curses to himself. When he shut the doors of your escape, you were met with sickening silence once again. The sound of waves taunted you, whispering insults in your ears for being such a stupid girl.
The pact you’d made with yourself was already in ruin. Befriending the pirates would be a difficult task if you couldn’t swallow down your enmity, and now you’d gone and made a foe.
Nobody returned to your cell for the rest of the day. It was punishment, that much you could figure out. Your stomach grumbled with desperate pleas, yet you could do nothing but wallow in your own acrimony for the remainder of the night.
When morning rose, you were awakened by the sound of the door once again. The light was blinding as it invaded the room, temporarily blocking your view of the person who’d stepped inside. When your eyes adjusted, you were faced with another pirate, the one who had held Mary down while you pleaded with him to release her.
Gaz stood beside him, arms crossed to appear larger. His face was unreadable, but you could feel the tease of resentment fluttering in his eyes.
“Not goin’ to toss yer breakfast on me, are ye?” the other snickered, eliciting a glare from Gaz. The pirate stepped forward, unlocking your cell and slipping inside. This time, he held the stale porridge while Gaz remained a pace behind him. “I know yer starvin’, so don’t be a prude. Eat up, aye?”
He set the bowl in front of you, just as Gaz had done. Remaining crouched in front of you, he made a gesture of his head towards the steaming meal, a toothy grin on his face.
You knew better than to feel relieved at the kindness. He was a pirate, just as the others, and he was cruel and unruly. Though, thinking back on your plan, his youthfulness may be a much easier one to befriend.
“Thank you,” you mumbled quietly with a respectful bow of your head. You reached for the bowl, gathering it in both hands. Gaz and the other studied you, seemingly waiting for a repeat of dirty laundry. It never came, though, and you lifted the wood spoon to your lips, swallowing down the first bite.
Just as you thought, it was bitter. How one could even make porridge bitter, you were unsure, but your stomach made no protest to the grainy oats. In fact, it was rather appealing, having been starved for two days.
“Take it ye like it, then?” the one pirate hummed, cocking his head at the display. “Get used to it, birdie. It’ll be yer meal for majority of yer time here.” He shot you another grin, resembling a mangy cat.
The reminder of your permanent stay was a difficult one, but your plan played over in your head. You wanted to go home, though it was no more, and you wanted your freedom back. Neither would be possible if you didn’t show kindness in return.
“What’s your name?” you questioned, making a poor attempt at conversation.
“Soap,” he introduced proudly. You didn’t mean to, but the name made you snort, triggering a light cough from the porridge you’d been in the middle of swallowing down.
“Soap is an… interesting name,” you grimaced. Soap didn’t seem to mind the back-handedness, only keeping that signature grin that was beginning to grow a bit hard on the eyes.
“Aye, got the name from bein’ a bit too rowdy. Price wanted to wash my mouth out.” His own words had him cackling, loud and boisterous in the cramped brig. Gaz had no reaction, opting for the hardened look that was practically piercing into you like thousands of knives. “What’s yer name, birdie? Got to learn who our new medic is.”
You wanted to remind him that you weren’t a medic. Not a professional one, anyway. You knew the bare minimum of proper medical etiquette and your medicines Ghost had told you to bring with were simply experimental mixtures. But you also knew that he wouldn’t listen nor care.
“The village called me dove,” you explained, swallowing down more porridge. It was warm in your mouth, coating your throat with gooey goodness. “Though, I don’t think it was much out of kindness.”
Soap hummed in acknowledgement, shooting a lopsided smile and a nod of his head. “Not quite a pirate name, dove, but it’ll do.”
“I’m not a pirate,” you defended with a frown.
“Ye are now,” he reckoned mindlessly, shrugging a lazy shoulder. Soap stood from his position, straightening up next to Gaz. “I’ll give ye some advice to be a part of this crew, dove. It’s not nice to throw porridge at a poor lad like Gaz.” Soap clapped Gaz on his shoulder, earning a scowl, which he ignored.
Your eyes shifted from Soap to Gaz, taking in the pure annoyance radiating off of him in waves. It was undeniable, practically filling the room’s atmosphere with black mist.
“I apologize,” you forced out, though that bitter part of you denied it. You wouldn’t feel sorry for these pirates. After all, they didn’t feel bad for the innocent lives they ruined.
Gaz’s nose twitched at your faux remorse, staring at you for a beat too long before turning away. He made no move to talk to you, but it wasn’t a blatant refusal of your apology. Perhaps he was just a tough nut to crack with a soft sweetness on the inside, even for a pirate.
The two men left you alone in the brig once again, only returning to give you meals as needed. It was terribly lonely the more the weeks went on with no move to release you from your cell. It was as if none of them trusted you, despite them being the ones to kidnap you. They burned down your home, slaughtered your people, and yet, wouldn’t allow you a chance to taste a sliver of freedom.
It was agonizing to wait, but you kept up your facade as much as you could, dripping with poisoned honey every time Gaz or Soap entered the brig with means to feed you.
Price or Ghost hadn’t made an entrance to see you. For the most part, you were grateful for it. In just the couple of weeks Soap and Gaz had been feeding you, they were warming up to you, slow and steady — Soap more than the other.
Gaz still had his reservations about you. He was reclusive, always standing on guard as if the shadows in the wall were prepared to attack at any given moment. It was better than before, where he had treated you like a burdening dog who he couldn’t rid himself of, but the progress was dwindling.
Soap was much more gracious. While he was obnoxious, he was much more welcoming company. You had no desire to truly befriend these pirates, but if any were to be the most tolerable, it was Soap.
Price and Ghost, though, were a mystery. Their absence made crucial falters in your meticulous plotting. You wanted out of the cell so you may roam the creaky decks of the ship, but the dream simply wouldn’t be possible without their trust.
It wasn’t until the fourth week of your imprisonment that the storyline had shifted. Rather than Soap bringing you your meal for the night, it was the Captain himself, standing tall and brute in front of your barred enclosure.
Unease rattled through your bones at his sudden appearance. You weren’t expecting him, nor were you prepared to face the very man who had slain your village with the help of his men.
He observed you like a lab rat, studying every movement like a variable in his experiment. It was prodding and exposing, leaving you sitting in your cell with a heavy lump in your throat.
“Soap tells me you’re warmin’ up to him,” he claimed, breaking the thick silence that smothered the air. He paced back and forth in front of your cell, eyes focused in on you. “Figured I’d properly introduce myself, seein’ as we’ll be spendin’ a lot of time together.”
You swallowed the rock in your throat, unmoving from your position on the floor. It was far from comfortable, but the cot was worn and dirty, so the floor became your only friend in the midst of all your dispair.
“I see,” you managed, clearing your throat. Price continued his relentless pacing, hands crossed behind his back in a formal manner. Ironic, really, considering his ruthless occupation.
“Dove, was it?” he asked. You nodded wearily. “A shame, really. Doves are lovely things, beautiful creatures made up of the purest white. Yet your village had called you it in ridicule. Or so I heard.”
Price was a man that spoke in riddles. He spouted conversation in the form of poetry, only tainting its beauty when angered. It was both unnerving and intriguing for a pirate. He wasn’t dirtied like you’d heard in childhood tales.
“I suppose they did,” you agreed with a small frown. The anxious pit in your stomach only grew, triggering alarm bells telling you that this man was an enigma. He wasn’t to be trusted.
“And why is that?” Price questioned. He ceased his pacing to face you properly, and you wished he’d return to it. His stature was that of a behemoth, overpowering and menacing, much like Ghost had been.
“Why did they call me dove?” you responded in confusion.
“Why did they ridicule you,” he corrected.
The statement made you pause. You hadn’t really thought about your townspeople dumbing you down to a mere crazy girl with too much ambition. You were the talk of the village within your age group as well as the occasional elder who tsked at you for never marrying.
The relationship between you and your people was one of complexity. While you loved them as your own, they battered you every chance they had. Hell, even Lucius himself had outed you to a group of pirates without care in the world. The very man who had spent countless months in attempts to make you a pretty village wife had sent you to your early grave to save his own ass.
“They thought I was different,” you explained woefully. “It is not normal for a woman to partake in medicine, let alone education. Doves are beautiful, yes, but they’re also adventurous. It is a dangerous conviction to be compared to as a woman.”
Price cocked his head to the side, filling the air with silence. You weren’t sure why you felt the need to explain yourself to a dingy villain such as him, but you feared that if you weren’t honest in your conversation, he’d be able to sniff out your deception from miles away.
“Who has told you it is not normal?” Price asked, and once again, he had stumped you.
“It is not a difficult thing to digest, Captain. Women do not involve themselves in ambition.”
“They quite do,” he retorted. You stared up at him through the bars, your own head cocking. You didn’t trust his word, but a shriveled piece of you was curious. “Sure, it is not acceptable in certain places, but it is quite popular.”
You blinked at him, before staring at the wooden floor, pondering.
You had been expecting the Captain to treat you with hostility, to throw nasty words your way with the excuse of being a pirate. That was what you had been told in adolescence, how dirty they could be, but he was calm.
“I’ll let you in on a little secret,” Price said. He leaned forward to rest his forearms on the bars of your cell, standing over you with only that barrier separating you. “I am not a cruel man. You may think differently, and for that, I do not care. But I will say that I believe you will have a much better life upon my ship.”
His words were a mix of sweet venom being spat at you. While they could be perceived as kind, there was an underlying message, one you couldn’t decipher.
“You burned down my village and killed my people. You kidnapped me to be your medic on your ship,” you defended, unable to hold back the taste of lingering resentment.
You had nearly forgotten why you were there with Soap and Gaz visiting to shift your mind elsewhere. You almost dismissed your own plan of escape. Price had reminded you without realizing, and now, your heart felt heavy once again.
“Ah, yes. The people that willingly sacrificed their own in effort to save themselves,” Price mused mockingly. The words stung. “Yes, we took you against your will. I will admit that. But your people treated you far worse.”
“You do not know a thing, Captain,” you spat.
Price cocked his head once more, resting his forehead on the forearms that lay upon your cell. “Aye, I do not,” he admitted. “But I know a bird with clipped wings when I see one. Perhaps you’ll be grateful when you learn to accept things as they are.”
You wanted to retort, wanted to get the last word in, but he was right. You barely knew the Captain and yet, he had read you like a novel, flipping through your pages and memorizing them from one single look through.
It felt dehumanizing. He was cruel and vicious, as were his men. They were nowhere near saviors, yet he spoke to you as if he was. It sickened you to the core, but there was no denying his brutal honesty.
Price offered you a lazy smile before standing straight, arms falling to his sides. “I suggest gettin’ used to your new life. You’ve got no home to return to anyway.”
He retreated from your cell as if he hadn’t slapped you in the face with a dose of reality. His boots were heavy and aggravating as they trudged up the stairs towards the upper deck, where he promptly shut the door on you, leaving you alone once again.
Your escape plan was falling into shambles before it had even began to fester.
#call of duty#simon ghost riley#kyle gaz garrick#john price#john soap mactavish#cod#cod x reader#ghost cod#simon riley#simon riley x reader#price x reader#gaz x reader#soap x reader#poly 141#poly 141 x reader#soap mactavish#kyle garrick#cod fanfic#pirate!141
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I ran out of tags check the next reblog >
another detail I need to sit with for a bit, because I think it’s another piece in my Cassian-Andor-Has-Been-A-Rebel-Fighter-Before-Now conspiracy theory:
Karis is trying to accept and rationalize “not playing by the rules” and accepting a mercenary’s help in the beginning of the episode from an ideological standpoint. He’s trying to work backwards from a new conclusion: that allowing mercenaries to fight the Imperials is based actually. Cassian tells him he’s “half right” and Karis, perhaps not used to being challenged by his peers on theory, asks “and how am I wrong?” and is actually genuinely listening even though at this point he isn’t sure how to feel about Cassian being there at all.
And Cassian says: “They don’t care enough to learn. They don’t have to. You mean nothing to them.”
And you see Karis sitting there, really absorbing it for a second like real people do in real political/ideological/philosophical conversations, before he responds: “Perhaps I’ll think differently tomorrow,” to which Cassian warns him to be “careful what you wish for.”
And then when Karis talks down to him, assumes Cassian is saying that everyone should just “submit” to the Empire and “be thankful” about it, Cassian has this serious, disgusted look on his face and says, “Do I look thankful to you?”
Karis corrects himself and tells him he’s glad Cassian is here. He looks chastised before Cassian tells him he’ll be fine and that he’ll sleep when it’s done (which is RUDE and TRUE).
Guys. It’s right there. Cassian has been in Karis’s shoes before, except the difference is that Cassian has seen his homeworld colonized and exploited. He has escaped Kenari and Mimban, and who knows where else. Clearly this is Karis’s first (and last RIP </3) bit of praxis, at least on this scale (I’d be shocked if he wasn’t doing little things here and there before joining up - activist circles are often sort of hard to break into unless you know someone - someone gives a name to someone who knows someone else, like with Cassian > Bix > Luthen). The other difference is this: privilege and background. I will bet a lot that Karis is from a relatively privileged (maybe Core World, not likely from the Mid or Outer Rim - a metaphor for the Global North/South) position, not because he’s intellectual and articulate or whatever lol but because he feels like the sort of leftist who spent a lot of time reading and writing theory but not necessarily seeing and experiencing the type of colonialist Imperial oppression he’s fighting firsthand.
Karl Marx (who was upper middle class and who I think Karis Nemik is supposed to be referencing lmfao he was working on a damn manifesto after all) is considered hard to read today but back when the Communist Manifesto was first published, it was extremely accessible to everyone of all education levels, which makes sense given what it was suggestion: a working class-led revolution to overthrow all social classes. It was commissioned by the Communist League to spread the word - accessibility to all was the point.
If I’m correct, Karis could have gone about his life as normal without getting involved in the way he did. Cassian had no choice - he was someone who Republic colonizers and later Imperials didn’t even think to learn about. Just in the way, like the Dhani people. Cassian has always known what he’s against because he’s had no choice. He was radicalized by his own experiences, Karis might have been radicalized by the experiences of others.
So that gives Cassian a different perspective - not necessarily that revolution is worthless I don’t believe he thinks that lol, but that the way it’s being done is kind of… not clicking. But it’s a perspective that a ground-up revolution needs front and center, and at the core of it.
I think Cassian believes Nemik will learn more about Imperials from seeing them up close and come to a different conclusion (perhaps one that Cassian has come to before). The correct one obviously. They’re too small to even care about. But that can work to their advantage, as seen in the ISB headquarters.
The irony is that the mission doesn’t make Nemik think differently in the sense that Cassian believed it would. It gives Nemik more insight into Cassian, into a rebel-turned-merc. Because Karis Nemik is the first of the group to believe that Cassian is a true believer. I don’t know that he actually stops believing this, but he definitely dies thinking Cassian is going to continue his manifesto (our manifesto), give it more context from lived experience and eventually pass it on.
In a way he’s like Bix - he believes Cassian is meant for greater things than mercenary work. But also Cassian has to eat. And that’s how he behaves at the end: he doesn’t do the truly mercenary move (like Skeen would have done). In fact he protects the rebellion and kills a threat to the cause without hesitation. And then he asks for his payment and walks away.
I still hold out hope that Cassian was a soldier. Anyway let me know what you think and if you have anything to add.
#star wars#cassian andor#rogue one#andor#cassian doing rebel work preshow#or yk#post flashbacks in the show but before the canon era#absolutely agree#technically at no point in andor does he make a statement like Jyn does#“dont look up”#his reservations are based on past experiences or thinking something wont work or wont be personally worth it#i think a large point of the Aldhani arc was to establish that he already shared the idealogy#the rebel spirit#he just wasnt on board with the methods yet#even luthen acknowledges that his stealing IS a method of fighting#it's just not doing enough#and realistically Cassian is smart and he knows this#but he has a sick mom and he's looking for his sister and let's be honest he's like 21 he's a bit selfish#(meanwhile rogue one lmao)#so he never joins up with the real fight#but he wasnt lying when he said he'd been in it since he was six years old#also the ideology going around in the prison break#the narkina 5 arc was totally to make a mirror to Cassian's past experiences and esp his conversation with luthen#giving everything to the cause#something hes been holding out on all his life#but by the end#and i do mean the End though before that too#giving everything is who he IS in the rebellion#hence we love our “everybody lives/nobody dies” “Cassian gets people to live for and some therapy#Cassian is a problem child and he either desperately tries to tread out of the current of centralized ideology to be acted upon
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Post!prision!Reid seeing his daughter for the first time after he gets out 🥹 he gets so emotional because he can finally hold his baby again!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! can you imagine how teary he'd be!! post!prison dad!spencer x mom!reader, I hope you enjoy <3
You wish you could’ve been with the team at the prison, see him come out there in person, but you’re still on bedrest with your baby girl. Georgia is only a couple weeks old, but she’s so much Spencer’s twin- the same unruly curls, the same nose and the same want of you.
You’d written all about her in your letters to Spencer, describing every feature he’s going to see today in so much detail you were sure he would see her clearly in his mind.
“Honey?” He doesn’t shout lest he wake his daughter as he walks in, his fingers twitching with the need to see both of you.
“I’m on the sofa baby,” it’s almost as if he was never gone. You lean over the sofa to see him pass through the kitchen, his hands holding a small bag. “I’m sorry I can’t stand to kiss you, Spence.”
He tuts, leaning down over you, “Nonsense, how’re you feeling?” His eyes flit over to the cot beside you, roving over your daughter before settling back on you.
“Like I missed you longer than you’ve been gone.” You’re waterlogged immediately and Spencer rounds the sofa to pull you into him.
“I missed you too,” his lips press into your temple, “God I missed you both so much.” Tears wet your hairline but you can’t seem to care, Spencer’s home and he’s able to see your baby girl together. What more could you want?
“I brought you some snacks, I figured you hadn’t been able to get any of your cravings.” He says gently, opening a bag to show you all the chocolate malt balls, the yoghurt raisins and the nuts you’d just run out of. “I got something for Georgia too.”
“Spence,” you gasp when you see the orange stuffed octopus that he pulls out, it’s just as big as Georgia is now. He wipes the tears that fall on your cheeks, kissing your nose before opening the tub of nuts for you. “Seventh smartest animal in the world.” you recall softly.
“Can I hold her?” He asks finally and you nod, watching him stand and hover over the bassinet.
“Just scoop her up Spence, she’s going to be so happy you’re home.”
Spencer doesn’t say a word, practically holding his breath as he does as you say- scooping Georgia up in record time and holding her close to his chest. There’s a moment right after she wriggles a bit when she settles and Spencer feels an ungodly wave of emotion crash into him.
Of course, he’d read that men only feel like fathers the moment they hold their babies, and everyone had told him (everyone being Derek and JJ) that you can’t control the way your heart kind of cracks open to make room for this new love, but he still hadn’t expected it to be so immediate and visceral.
“Hi Georgia,” he whispers, his tears rolling down the bridge of his nose as he strokes her cheek. “Hi sweet girl.” You’re enamoured already, looking at Spencer holding your daughter like she’s made of fine China. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you were born, baby. But I promise I’m not missing anything else where you’re concerned.”
Tears pool in your eyes as your daughter wakes up, no crying or wailing, just small coos and gurgles as she looks at Spencer.
“It’s your daddy, Georgia.” You murmur, sniffling and wiping your eyes as Spencer hiccups as she reaches for his face, her little fist bumping into his jaw.
Her almond eyes stare up at him, blinking all slow as she takes him in. Then she smiles, as if she's put a face to the man who spoke to her every night, telling her all the facts he'd read and learnt about babies, animals and whatever soothing topic he could find to tell her while she lived in your belly.
“Your mom lied to me, you look just like her.” You scoff, rolling your eyes as Spencer gives you a little glare. “Those eyes are all her, Peach. Maybe you won’t get your daddy’s brain either- it’s no fun being smart and getting beat up.” You throw a cashew at Spencer then, making him chuckle and come sit beside you.
“I’m so happy you’re home.” You whisper, stroking Georgia’s cheek as you press yours into Spencer’s bicep.
“I’m happy to be back, angel.” his eyes remain transfixed to Georgia all day, holding her and touching her foot when he can’t because you have to feed her. Spencer thinks to himself that he’d live through prison a thousand times over if every time he gets out, he can come back to this moment, to the peace and serenity in your home with you and your little girl and the life you’d made together colouring every wall of the house.
#spencerreid#spencer reid#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid blurb#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid x black reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x yn#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x fem!reader#dad!spencer#dad!spencer reid#dr spencer reid#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fanfic
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Channeled Letter From Your FS
reading by @thesirencult
Pile 1
I'm not your regular cup of tea. I'm strong, forceful and focused on going after what I want and what I want right now is you. From the first moment I will lay my eyes on you it's game on. I will approach you boldly, you will be taken aback but then you will love the thrill of the chase. My, oh, my! You will be a hard catch, but I don't care, I will pursue you in a way no one else ever has. I'm not pursuing you tirelessly or trying to win you because of ego issues, but because even if I'm not sure about myself, I'm sure about you.
You are so amazing and so worthy of love that I will get over my fears and anxieties just to be with you. Love takes courage and risk and I have nothing but that! I hope that is enough for you, in the long run.
I'm not an "one hit wonder" though! I have stamina and will never let you down my love. I know that at first you will not feel the same about me, but I will win you over once you realize I'm not the tyoe of person to hit and dismiss, pardon me!
In time, I will come to know that you were scared to let me in because no one ever showed you unconditional love and gave you without expecting anything in return. "You are the breath that I breath, you are my one lucky star..."
I'm the one who does what needs to be done. I'm a go-getter who goes after their goals. An endless flame burns within me prompting me to do my best and to take risks. I charge full steam ahead and I'm very passionate. You have not met me yet cause I'm doing "side quests" to grow and mature, so I will be ready for you.
Take care princess!
Pile 2
I'm not the best at expressing my feelings through words, although in our relationship, I will do my best to show you have precious you are to me, words will never feel enough to convey the feelings.
I'll start with this one though: You were my last hope. Your love broke all my defenses and woke me up from my slumber. How could I ever live my life thinking that I was okay being by myself, all alone in the cold embrace of the shadows while you were right there, so close to me, warmth radiating off your skin and warming up my heart. "One last time..." I thought. "I'm willing to risk it all again for her. It will either be my biggest heartbreak or the love of a million lifetimes."
You found me while I was trying to rebuild myself and mend my wounds. In reality, I healed more by your side than I coukd have ever healed on my own. You cultivated a safe space for me to open up and share my inner world with you. You made me the man I'm now.
I trusted my intuition and went after you. I never doubted our connection, just the nature of it. Were we better off as friends? But look at us, we are best friends, lovers, family and soulmates! I risked losing you to gain more of you, although, more is never enough. You consume my thoughts each and every day. I smile on my own at work and forget what I was doing while I think about you and your smile and your voice and your sweet words and kisses. This has been going on for a while, I must admit... It has been happening since our first interactions. I wanted more and more of you, begging the Universe to let us live out our fairytale. The moment I surrendered to your whims and love was the moment I freed myself from the prison of loneliness.
"You did your best!" you always tell me with a smile and I agree because you make it sound like it's not that big of a deal. That's what you said when I told you I couldn't help but fall in love with you and indeed, I did my best, the best I could have done. You outsmarted your opponent with your sweetness and I came bare to a battle I should have come prepared. I don't care though. I love the way you think and how smart you are. I love how you never let anyone or anything get between us and how your smile lights up a room. I love the way your eyes sparkle when you are thinking of something naughty or when you are trying to seduce me and influence my thoughts. I always let you win, cause I got the best prize once and I don't need any more victories.
My prize is sitting on the couch right now, wrapped up in a blanket, pregnant and with a dog lazily sleeping by her feet. Our friends just left from the dinner we held in the house that we built. A house that will host many more oarties and celebrations, but also many more quiet nights that we will be slow dancing in the kitchen to oldies playing in the background. I wish everyone got to experience that type of love just for a moment, they would never doubt this magical force exists and I'm lucky, because my wife is full of it.
Thank you for everything my love. I'll do my best!
Yours forever and always and for each lifetime, x.
#astrology#tarot reading#pick a pile#pac reading#pick a card#tarot#level up journey#pick a photo#soulmate#pick a picture#future spouse#channeled message
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"Efficiency" left the Big Three vulnerable to smart UAW tactics
Tomorrow (September 22), I'm (virtually) presenting at the DIG Festival in Modena, Italy. Tomorrow night, I'll be in person at LA's Book Soup for the launch of Justin C Key's "The World Wasn’t Ready for You." On September 27, I'll be at Chevalier's Books in Los Angeles with Brian Merchant for a joint launch for my new book The Internet Con and his new book, Blood in the Machine.
It's been 143 days since the WGA went on strike against the Hollywood studios. While early tactical leaks from the studios had studio execs chortling and twirling their mustaches about writers caving once they started losing their homes, the strikers aren't wavering – they're still out there, pounding the picket lines, every weekday:
https://www.cnbc.com/2023/08/09/how-hollywood-writers-make-ends-meet-100-days-into-the-writers-guild-strike.html
The studios obviously need writers. That gleeful, anonymous studio exec who got such an obvious erotic charge at the thought of workers being rendered homeless as punishment for challenging his corporate power completely misread the room, and his comments didn't demoralize the writers. Instead, they inspired the actors to go on strike, too.
But how have the writers stayed out since May Day? How have the actors stayed out for 69 days since their strike started on Bastille Day? We can thank the studios for that! As it turns out, the studios have devoted so much energy to rendering creative workers as precarious as possible, hiring as little as they can getting away with and using punishing overtime as a substitute for adequate staffing that they've eliminated all the workers who can't survive on side-hustles and savings for six or seven months at a time.
But even for those layoff-hardened workers, long strikes are brutal, and of course, all the affiliated trades, from costumers to grips, are feeling the pain. The strike fund only goes so far, and non-striking, affected workers don't even get that. That's why I've been donating regularly to the Entertainment Community Fund, which helps all affected workers out with cash transfers (I just gave them another $500):
https://secure2.convio.net/afa/site/Donation2?df_id=8117&8117.donation=form1&mfc_pref=T
As hot labor summer is revealed as a turning point – not just a season – long strikes will become the norm. Bosses still don't believe in worker power, and until they get their minds right, they're going to keep on trying to starve their workforces back inside. To get a sense of how long workers will have to hold out, just consider the Warrior Met strike, where Alabama coal-miners stayed out for 23 months:
https://www.thenation.com/article/activism/warrior-met-strike-union/
As Kim Kelly explained to Adam Conover in the latest Factually podcast, the Alabama coal strikers didn't get anywhere near the attention that the Hollywood strikers have enjoyed:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvyMHf7Yg0Q
(To learn more about the untold story of worker organizing, from prison unions to the key role that people of color and women played in labor history, check out Kelly's book, "Fight Like Hell," now in paperback:)
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Fight-Like-Hell/Kim-Kelly/9781982171063
Which brings me to the UAW strike. This is an historic strike, the first time that the UAW has struck all of the Big Three automakers at once. Past autoworkers' strikes have marked turning points for all American workers. The 1945/46 GM strike established employers' duty to cover worker pensions, health care, and cost of living allowances. The GM strike created the American middle-class:
https://prospect.org/labor/2023-09-18-uaw-strikes-built-american-middle-class/
The Big Three are fighting for all the marbles here. They are refusing to allow unions to organize EV factories. Given that no more internal combustion cars will be in production in just a few short years, that's tantamount to eliminating auto unions altogether. The automakers are flush with cash, including billions in public subsidies from multiple bailouts, along with billions more from greedflation price-gouging. A long siege is inevitable, as the decimillionaires running these companies earn their pay by starving out their workers:
https://www.businessinsider.com/general-motors-ceo-mary-barra-salary-auto-workers-strike-uaw-2023-9
The UAW knows this, of course, and their new leadership – helmed by the union's radical president Shawn Fain – has a plan. UAW workers are engaged in tactical striking, shutting down key parts of the supply chain on a rolling basis, making the 90-day strike fund stretch much farther:
https://prospect.org/blogs-and-newsletters/tap/2023-09-18-labors-militant-creativity/
In this project, they are greatly aided by Big Car's own relentless pursuit of profit. The automakers – like every monopolized, financialized sector – have stripped all the buffers and slack out of their operations. Inventory on hand is kept to a bare minimum. Inputs are sourced from the cheapest bidder, and they're brought to the factory by the lowest-cost option. Resiliency – spare parts, backup machinery – is forever at war with profits, and profits have won and won and won, leaving auto production in a brittle, and easily shattered state.
This is especially true for staffing. Automakers are violently allergic to hiring workers, because new workers get benefits and workplace protection. Instead, the car companies routinely offer "voluntary" overtime to their existing workforce. By refusing this overtime, workers can kneecap production, without striking.
Enter "Eight and Skate," a campaign among UAW workers to clock out after their eight hour shift. As Keith Brower Brown writes for Labor Notes, the UAW organizers are telling workers that "It’s crossing an unofficial picket line to work overtime. It’s helping out the company":
https://labornotes.org/2023/09/work-extra-during-strike-auto-workers-say-eight-and-skate
Eight and Skate has already started to work; the Buffalo Ford plant can no longer run its normal weekend shifts because workers are refusing to put in voluntary overtime. Of course, bosses will strike back: the next step will be forced overtime, which will lead to the unsafe conditions that unionized workers are contractually obliged to call paid work-stoppages over, shutting down operations without touching the strike fund.
What's more, car bosses can't just halt safety stoppages or change the rules on overtime; per the UAW's last contract, bosses are required to bargain on changes to overtime rules:
https://uaw.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/Working-Without-Contract-FAQ-FINAL-2.pdf
Car bosses have become lazily dependent on overtime. At GM's "highly profitable" SUV factory in Arlington, TX, normal production runs a six-days, 24 hours per day. Workers typically work five eight-hour days and nine hours on Saturdays. That's been the status quo for 11 years, but when bosses circulated the usual overtime signup sheet last week, every worker wrote "a big fat NO" next to their names.
Writing for The American Prospect, David Dayen points out that this overtime addiction puts a new complexion on the much-hyped workerpocalypse that EVs will supposedly bring about. EVs are much simpler to build than conventional cars, the argument goes, so a US transition to EVs will throw many autoworkers out of work:
https://prospect.org/labor/2023-09-20-big-threes-labor-shortages-uaw/
But the reality is that most autoworkers are doing one and a half jobs already. Reducing the "workforce" by a third could leave all these workers with their existing jobs, and the 40-hour workweek that their forebears fought for at GM inn 1945/46. Add to that the additional workers needed to make batteries, build and maintain charging infrastructure, and so on, and there's no reason to think that EVs will weaken autoworker power.
And as Dayen points out, this overtime addiction isn't limited to cars. It's also endemic to the entertainment industry, where writers' "mini rooms" and other forms of chronic understaffing are used to keep workforces at a skeleton crew, even when the overtime costs more than hiring new workers.
Bosses call themselves job creators, but they have a relentless drive to destroy jobs. If there's one thing bosses hate, it's paying workers – hence all the hype about AI and automation. The stories about looming AI-driven mass unemployment are fairy tales, but they're tailor made for financiers who get alarming, life-threatening priapism at the though of firing us all and replacing us with shell-scripts:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/09/autocomplete-worshippers/#the-real-ai-was-the-corporations-that-we-fought-along-the-way
This is why Republican "workerism" rings so hollow. Trump's GOP talks a big game about protecting "workers" (by which they mean anglo men) from immigrants and "woke captialism," but they have nothing to say about protecting workers from bosses and bankers who see every dime a worker gets as misappropriated from their dividend.
Unsurprisingly, conservative message-discipline sucks. As Luke Savage writes in Jacobin, for every mealymouthed Josh Hawley mouthing talking points that "support workers" by blaming China and Joe Biden for the Big Three's greed, there's a Tim Scott, saying the quiet part aloud:
https://jacobin.com/2023/09/republicans-uaw-strike-hawley-trump-scott/
Quoth Senator Scott: "I think Ronald Reagan gave us a great example when federal employees decided they were going to strike. He said, you strike, you’re fired. Simple concept to me. To the extent that we can use that once again, absolutely":
https://twitter.com/American_Bridge/status/1704136706574741988
The GOP's workerism is a tissue-thin fake. They can never and will never support real worker power. That creates an opportunity for Biden and Democrats to seize:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/18/co-determination/#now-make-me-do-it
Reversing two generations of anti-worker politics is a marathon, not a sprint. The strikes are going to run for months, even years. Every worker will be called upon to support their striking siblings, every day. We can do it. Solidarity now. Solidarity forever.
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/21/eight-and-skate/#strike-to-rule
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"wrio isn't a cop hes a king"
Can someone with brains please please PLEASE talk about the disgusting portrayal of cops, crime, court proceedings, justice system and prison incarceration in genshin impact's fontaine update because I cannot SIT HERE and see people completely destroy their brain cells just so they could play a mediocre game and make some fictional men fuck in their mind
I'm deadass surprised there isn't more people talking about it??? I'm honestly so ??? It's literally presenting prison labour as a good thing. Wriothesley, the prison administrator, got rich off of making his inmates build police robots for the state AND HE'S PRAISED FOR IT. AND THEY'RE PAID IN COUPONS THAT CAN ONLY BE USED IN JAIL. HE WAS REWARDED FOR IT WITH HIS DUKE STATUS.
The fact that the fucking MC's mascot was like "oh the prisoners get one free meal a day? you're making life too good down here what if no one wants to leave :(" what in the bullshit. What in the. There's also a fighting ring in the prison, by the way, and you can bet on it with your coupons you just can't bet on both fighters.
The. This is a scene people think is hot. "But that's a bad guy!" THAT'S HOW THE NARRATIVE IS WRITTEN. THEY ARE ALWAYS THE BAD GUY IN FICTION. THAT'S HOW COPAGANDA WORKS, they make you think people in power can just beat the shit outta anyone and of course the person deserves it because they are clearly always the bad guys! And the people in power are always right! This is sarcasm btw.
Neuvillette and the magic judgement machine are literally seen as undeniable justice ordained by magic and NO ONE KNOWS HOW IT WORKS. NEUVILLETTE HIMSELF HAS NO CLUE WHAT HE'S DOING HE'S ACTIVELY FIGURING SHIT OUT AS WE SPEAK. And yet it's what sends people to The Worst Most Dangerous Super Scary Prison Ever Where There's No Laws [but 1 meal a day's great /s].
"But he feels bad!" Genshin has repeatedly chosen to highlight the pains and troubles of the oppressors [Eula] [Ei/Shogun] and there's literally never any repercussions for them aside from when they portray The Haterz clearly as villains or they turn it around and say "Well it was a misunderstanding all along! No one's to blame here!"
I'm not smart enough to go into details I'm just saying. This. needs to be talked about. I'm not telling you to stop the game bc Hyperfixations not really smth that can be controlled or whatever I get It I Got Back into the game when the first trailer dropped I drew neuvillette fanart and then everything just went downhill since then and I'm like why the fuck did I expect anything better than racist, pro cop dogshit from Mihoyo It needs to be talked about ESPECIALLY by people who still cares about it to critically. assess what the fuck you are absorbing because this shit isn't okay. This is literally paw patrol for weebs they just didn't call anyone a "cop"
PLEASE. TALK ABOUT IT.
#genshin impact#wriothesley#neuvillette#the fact that he parades around in handcuffs aside#scratching my head. erm. either way. guillotine#the only goal of this post is to get people thinking about it. i know genshin fans have no brains tho#like i said.#paw patrol for weebs#if ur a wrio fan getting hot flashes or whatever please do realize he's done the most dirty through the writing. because he was convicted.#as a child. and treated horrifically in prison. but because genshin don't actually want to make commentary on anything.#he's given no real development or complexity in the most Traumatic aspect of his history.#like i said. unfortunately I had my own interpretations of wriolette and especially wriothesley. it's bc when I see something bad i start t#fix them in my head and then i get attached to the superior version that i made up. but like if you don't see a problem#with the fact that 1) wriothesley was originally gonna be the darkest beige in fontaine. and hes the exconvict who#ends up being the warden. the narrative being written isnt a good one. his 'growth' isnt a good one. he was an abused and neglected child#he didn't need 'oh hes a convict but because of his exceptional skills and good perspective he's redeemed himself!' he needed fucking#social services and therapy. Do they even have education in the meropide. he was arrested as a child AGAIN LIKE. WHO TAUGHT HIM ECONOMICS.#even for a character people care about they'd rather suck genshin's dick than think more than a second about what's being spoonfed to them#'it wasn't shown as a good thing for him!' but it's writing a narrative that he 'succeeded' because he works hard and was smart about it n#because he wasn't angry and bitter about his position. because he never blamed or questioned the very system that failed him#these very same narrative are pitched against ex convicts. that they are only respectable if they don't complain and just Be Better despite#being given no support no education no capacity for growth. the fact that genshin talks more about wrio boxing his way to the top of the#prison hierarchy than even mention ONCE that he was given therapy or social support. or even give him a representative in court. no this ki#just showed up and knew he was going to jail the moment he woke up in the hospital bed. LIKE HOW ISNT HE PISSED. DOES HE THINK THAT WAS OKA#those affected by the actions of their oppressors in genshin are literally#never allowed to show anger or resentment and everyone who does are antagonist NPCs or brushed off as 'they misunderstood' like there's a#narrative being written here is that victims are only valid when they're 1) exceptional 2) not angry 3) has the inner peace of a fking sain#and it's always THEIR SOLE responsibility to get their lives figured out god forbid they show symptoms that bugs other people or complain#' if prison standard of living was better crime rates would increase!' guess who also says this irl about prison reform.#anyways. i dont really know that much abt prison reform and abolition but i know enough to tell this is bullshit. hence people with more br
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❝Laundry Day ❞
18+
pairing Daryl Dixon x f!Reader
summary a laundry mishap turned into a dream come true
cw smut, perv!daryl, perv!reader, panty kink, humiliation (if you squint), unprotected p in v, masturbation (male), pussy eating, cunnilingus, pining
3.9k words
“Here’s your laundry. I don’t know how you like it folded, so I didn’t fold it,” you said as you placed the basket of freshly cleaned laundry outside of his bedroom door. You lingered for a moment, but once he heard your footsteps walk away, he opened the door and grabbed the basket before shutting it again. He wanted to thank you, he really did, but as usual, he was too nervous. He sifted through the laundry and began putting it away, guilt still lingering in the forefront of his mind for not thanking you.
Like clockwork, every Sunday, you did everyone in the house’s laundry. You were skilled in combat -against the living and the dead-, you were smart, you were so many great things that he didn’t know why you would delegate such a paltry task to yourself. Ever since Woodbury fell and the group accepted you into the prison, you took on such tasks; laundry, cleaning, the typical household chores. Everyone assumed it was because you weren’t trained to face what was outside of the secure walls of the prison, so nobody paid too much attention to you. But when you ended up tagging along for a run and saving everyone’s ass, people started noticing you, Daryl started noticing you.
Daryl actually found himself admiring you. He admired how detail oriented you were -although he found it rather annoying at first- how you picked up on the things most would miss. He appreciated how open you were. When most of the Woodburians would turn their noses up at the squirrel he brought back to eat, you tucked in like it were any other meal. You took care of everybody and although he’d never admit it, it made his heart swell. You even took care of him, always making sure he had more than enough to eat, doting over him whenever he came back from a run, insisting to be the one to patch up his injuries. All those little moments together formed a unique friendship between you two, but as soon as Daryl realized it was more than friendship that he wanted, he distanced himself from you. You were kindhearted, smart, beautiful, and selfless and he just saw himself as a big, mean, gruff redneck who could never be enough from you. So he stayed away from you, he was afraid to hurt you and it hurt too much to be near you, but not have you.
Something red peeking out from the darkness of his clothes snapped him out of his thoughts. Curiously, he pulled the garment out with pinched fingers. It was a pair of red panties. They were either yours or Michonne’s, but something about them told him they were yours. His mind immediately went to places he didn’t want it to go, imagining you in nothing but those little red panties. The way he knew your plump ass would look delectable in them made his cock twitch with eagerness. He could not think about you this way. His face went red with shame as he shoved the red fabric underneath his pillow.
He tossed and turned, unable to find sleep. The thought of your underwear underneath his pillow weighed too heavily on him. Maybe if he just gave the panties back to you, he’d be able to fall asleep. The awkwardness that situation would put him in immediately shut that idea down. He thought about going out for a smoke, but didn’t want to risk running into you on the way out. He wasn’t in any state to see you, considering the thoughts of you running rampant in his mind. The thought of you wearing those panties, soaked with desire, begging him to rip them off you. His boxers grew tight on him.
Fuck it.
He’d do it one time, then throw them away and just hope you never ask about them.
His hand slipped under the pillow, feeling for the soft red fabric. Once he found it, he immediately put it to his nose, hoping to smell you. The smell of laundry detergent disappointed him, but he pulled his hard dick out of his boxers anyway. He stroked it a few times, letting pre-cum bubble at the tip before using it as lube. He knew your fleshy, velvety walls would feel ten times better than his rough hand. He dreamed of feeling it clenching around him as you bounced on his cock, with those red panties pulled aside. He increased the pace of his fist as he felt himself getting closer. Your tits would look so delicious as they bounced in unison with his thrusts. He quickly pulled the crotch of your panties over his tip before emptying his load into them, stifling a grunt. God, you’d look too damn sexy with his cum leaking out of your cunt. He wiped the spilled remnants of his pleasure up with the fabric before shamefully shoving it back under the pillow.
He slept good that night.
Sunday rolled around again, which meant laundry day. You had collected everyone else’s laundry, aside from Daryl’s. When you knocked on his door, you got no reply, so you washed the other clothes before coming back. When you came back again, there was still no response, so you let yourself in. The room was empty -and probably was earlier too- making you feel a little silly for not letting yourself in the first time. You picked up the articles of clothing on the floor and tossed them into the basket held to your hip. As you bent down to pick a shirt off the floor, something under the man’s pillow caught your eye. With pinched fingers, you pulled out the red fabric only to find it was your favorite pair of panties that you’ve been missing all week.
"What the..." you muttered to yourself as you examined the garment. It was balled up in the center, held together by god knows what. Upon a closer look, you realized it was dried cum. Daryl's dried cum. Which could only mean that he masturbated in your panties. Your cunt throbbed and your face went hot as you tossed the dirtied garment into the basket. Your mind was reeling.
Did this mean Daryl liked you?
He'd been distant with you for months now. You had no idea why, but you knew trying to find out why would only push him away further, so you let things be. Your current relationship with him felt no deeper than that of acquaintances, which is what hurt you the most. With everything that's happened since the prison fell up until now, you didn't exactly have the time to try patch things up with Daryl. Didn't have time to ask him where you stood. Didn't have time to see if maybe he liked you, too. But maybe finding your panties stained with his cum hidden underneath his pillow was a sign?
You decided to try something, not thinking for too long so you wouldn't get cold feet. You hastily shimmied off your shorts and slipped off your panties before putting your shorts back on. You hoped Daryl would like these. It was a simple black thong with a little red ribbon-bow on the front, just below the wasteband. The sound of the door opening downstairs sent you into a small panic. You shoved the thong underneath his pillow in replacement for the red pair and hurried out of his room.
Unluckily, you ran into him in the hallway.
"Hi!" you awkwardly chirped out, trying not to look guilty.
"Hey," he replied.
It was awkward now. For the both of you for similarly different reasons.
"I gotta—I gotta go wash these now. Uh, bye!" you maneuvered your way around him and made a beeline to the laundry room.
Daryl felt anxious for the rest of the day. When he saw you hurrying out if his room with a flustered look on your face. He wasn't mad at you for being in there, it wasn't uncommon for you to just go in and take the dirty clothes. But he was worried that you saw something you weren't supposed to see and be disgusted by him.
He was stressed. Instinctively, he reached under his pillow for your panties. Despite having come in them a couple times already, Daryl continued using them. He felt it was the closest he'd ever get to actually being with you. When he pulled out a different pair of panties, he was surprised, but didn't stop to think of the implications. He inspected the underwear. It was different from the last, but that didn't stop his cock from hardening.
Out of curiosity, he lifted the thong to his nose, hoping maybe these'd smell like you. He could've came right then and there. The panties smelled like everything he hoped they would. They smelled like you. He let out a groan and reached for his cock, palming himself through his boxers. Impatiently, he pulled his painfully hard dick out. With one hand holding the panties to his nose, the other stroked himself ferociously. He wanted to see your pretty lips around him, to feel your throat gagging around the length. He let out a noise between a grunt and a moan as he fantasized about you swallowing him hole. He wanted to hear the pretty noises you'd make while tears streamed down your face as you struggled to fit all of him into your mouth. He licked the crotch part of your panties, tasting your essence which only brought him closer to finishing. Like all the other times, he brought the panties down to his dick and came in them, imagining it was him coming down your throat.
Daryl hated that he ruined another pair of your panties, but god did it feel good to have just a taste of you.
Your suspicions were confirmed. Last night, when Daryl finally went to bed, you crept out of your room and over to his. You very sneakily cracked the door open, just enough to see Daryl pleasuring himself with your panties over his face. You didn't mean to watch for so long, but you couldn't look away. The moonlight shone through his window highlighting his muscles. The way his arms flexed with every stroke had you rubbing your thighs together. Every noise he made made you wetter and wetter, wishing that was you in there making him feel good. Once he finished, you silently closed the door and hurried back to your room.
He wouldn't come into your panties if he didn't like you, right?
Tomorrow, you'd bite the bullet and find out. Your relationship with the bowman had become so strained that you were willing to risk what little the two of you had just to see if there was a chance he felt the same way about you.
Nighttime came around again and you knew it was now or never. Those who were home were asleep, with the exception of Daryl. You knew he was awake, because you had your ear to his door, listening to the sounds of his pleasured grunts, much like you did the night before. You gently knocked on the door.
“Daryl,” you whispered loud enough for him to hear.
You heard some rushed shuffling behind the door before he opened it just enough for him to peek through.
“Wha’,” he snapped.
“Um, can I come in? I want to talk to you about something.”
“Righ’ now? Can’t it wait ’til mornin’?”
“Please?” You gave him those doe eyes he’s never been able to say no to in the past.
He sighed but reluctantly let you in before shutting the door. Once you were in his room, you realized he had nothing on, other than his boxers. The moonlight shone on his body, making him look delicious, but you needed to focus! You walked further into the room and sat on his bed. It was still warm with his body heat. A look of nervousness flashed across his face, but he quickly returned back to his usual stoic countenance. You suppressed a smirk.
“Well, what’d you wanna talk ‘bout?” He asked, growing impatient.
You leaned all the way back onto his pillow, the pillow you suspected he was hiding your panties under. Daryl’s thumb flew to his mouth and he began nibbling on the skin beside the nail, a telltale sign that he was feeling anxious.
“I’m missing a pair of panties,” you said smugly.
“Wha— Wha’s tha’ gotta do with me?” He replied, stumbling over his words. You could see his skin flush under the moonlight.
“I was wondering if you seen ‘em. They look kinda like this.” You slowly pulled up the hem of your t-shit, exposing the plush skin of your thighs, then the panties you were wearing that were almost identical to the ones you left Daryl on Sunday. Except, these ones had a white bow instead of a red one. Daryl shifted awkwardly and ran a hand over his face.
“Godammit, woman, I dunno what ya wan’ from me.” He was really getting nervous now.
“Cut the bullshit, Daryl.” You smirked up at him as you slowly slid your hand under his pillow. He awkwardly lunged toward you to try and stop you from finding what he was hiding, but he wasn’t fast enough. You held the cum-soaked garment up between you and him in your pinched fingers. You could tell the man was ashamed, but you couldn’t help squeezing your legs together. He looked so cute when he was embarrassed.
“Tha’s not— It’s not wha-”
“Daryl,” your tone was firm, effectively stopping him from trying to explain himself.
“I don’t mind you taking my panties, but if you want them, you have to take them off of me.”
He froze, likely from not expecting that to be your reaction.
“Wha-“
“Want ‘em or not?” You lifted your t-shirt even higher.
Daryl apprehensively approached you almost as if he thought this was a dream and any sudden moment would snap him back into reality. His big, rough hands clasped on either side of your hips. His fingers slid under the waistband and he slowly pulled down the skimpy black garment. He was shocked to see how wet the panties were once he got them off of you. He couldn’t help but gawk at the sight between your legs.
“What goes on in your mind when you pleasure yourself with my panties every night?” You asked, both teasingly and out of genuine curiosity.
“You— You knew?!”
“Of course. Who’d you think left you a fresh pair on Sunday?”
He stood there, frozen. You started to feel guilty for teasing him too much. When he still didn’t move to do anything, you started to think you misread the entire situation. Maybe it wasn’t even you he fantasized about every night as he came. Your face felt hot and your eyes burned with unshed tears, this would all be so embarrassing if he wasn’t even thinking of you in that way. With a shaky hand, you pulled your shirt down to cover yourself up.
“Y-you don’t have to tell me anything. I probably went and got the wrong idea anyway…” You moved to get out of his bed, but he gently pushed you back down. Your eyes snapped up to his. You saw a look in his eyes you’ve never seen before.
“Nah. Didn’t misread nothin’,” he said as he grabbed your ankle. Your heart started beating faster, anticipating his next move. This was really happening. He put both of your legs over his shoulders as he crawled onto the bed, settling himself between your thighs, right in front of your dripping cunt.
“You don’ got any idea what ya do to me.” He kissed your inner thigh before sucking it, making sure to leave a mark. The little sounds you made made his already hardening cock twitch. He finally gave your pussy some attention, licking up the juices of your arousal. The feeling of his tongue on you and the tickle of his facial hair made you clench around nothing.
“Daryl, please,” you whimpered.
“Nah, not yet. Now that I gotcha, I’ma take my time.” You whined in response but were quickly silenced by his thumb on your clit. He rubbed slow circles, fast enough to feel good, but too slow to give you an orgasm. Before you could ask him to go faster, his tongue entered you. Reflexively, you squeezed your thighs together, trapping his head between them in the process. That didn’t stop him, though. His tongue swirled around inside of you as he increased the pace on your clit. You bit back a moan and opted for grabbing a fistful of of his hair instead. The vibrations of his groan between your legs made your toes curl. He continued to eat you out, until he couldn’t breathe anymore. He tapped your outer thigh and you quickly released him.
“S-sorry!” You had forgotten that he needed to breathe.
“Don’ apologize.” He put his mouth on your clit at the same time he inserted a finger inside you with ease. He sucked on your clit while his finger touched you in places your own couldn’t reach. He added another and curled them, earning a moan from you.
“Daryl, I’m close!” He continued his ministrations until he felt you involuntarily clench around his fingers. Your legs shook as you came around his fingers, yet he continued to pump them in and out of you. You looked down at him once you came to. He looked at home between your thighs. You smiled down at him and saw his face relax a little. He reluctantly removed himself from between your thighs and sat up before fiddling with the bottom of your t-shirt as if he were asking for permission to take it off. You nodded and sat up too, coming face to face with him. In the moonlight, you could see how dilated his pupils were. You could hardly tell that his eyes were supposed to be blue. You lifted your arms and he timidly lifted your shirt over your head before tossing it aside. He stared at you, slack jawed, enamored by the sight before him.
“Goddamn,” he whispered.
You giggled and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. The taste of you on his tongue made your mind go numb. You moaned into his mouth as you felt his fingers’ firm grip on your ass. Keeping the kiss in tact, he pulled you onto his lap, grinding you onto his clothed member. He grunted, much like you heard him the night before. You wished to hear him more, but knew you couldn’t risk waking the others in the house. You pulled away from the kiss.
“Daryl, I wanna feel you,” you whined.
“Dammit girl, be patient,” he teased.
“I’ve already waited for like…months!” The confession made his eyes go wide, but you weren’t in the right mind to reflect on your accidental revelation. The bowman pulled his hard dick from his boxers and slid it up and down your slippery slit, coating it in your juices before lining it up with your entrance. Impatiently, you sank down on it, not realizing how big he actually was. Your pained whimper sobered him.
“Y’alright?” He asked worriedly.
“Yeah, just wait a ‘sec.”
The stretch hurt so good, but you weren’t ready for him to move yet. His warm hand cupped your cheek before he swiped his thumb under your eye, wiping away a tear you didn’t know you shed.
“Ya sure? We can stop if you wan’,” he said in a gentle voice. Your heart swelled and you struggled to hold back a grin.
“You’re so sweet, Daryl, but I promise I’m fine.” He placed gentle kisses on your collarbone, going further down until he was at your breasts. He took one in his mouth, nipping and sucking at the soft, supple flesh. He removed his hand from your ass to give the other one equal attention. You threw your head back and moaned in pure bliss, but his hand quickly flew to your mouth.
“You gon’ wake up everyone in Alexandria.” He connected your mouth to his once again while still pawing at your breasts. You wrapped your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. You slowly lifted yourself from his cock before dropping back down again, earning a groan from him. You continued your movements, eventually finding a rhythm.
“Yer takin’ me so good, baby.” His words had your pussy fluttering around him. Your arms unraveled from around his neck and started to slide down his back, but he abruptly pulled away from the kiss and grabbed your wrists from behind him. He pushed you back down into the mattress and held your wrists in each of his hands beside your head, now being the one on top. Despite being inside you, he suddenly couldn’t look you in the eye.
“Is everything alright? Did I do something wrong?” You asked, worry evident in your voice.
“M’fine.”
“A-are you sure?”
“S’nothin’.” He snapped out of whatever it was and started thrusting into you. His sudden shift was quickly forgotten as he pounded you into the mattress. He filled you up so good that you could feel the veins on his dick licking up and down your walls. He was close, you could tell by the way he was losing his rhythm and the way his dick twitched inside you. Daryl let go of your wrists and weaved his fingers through yours, holding your hands as you both got closer to the edge. Your back arched and your pussy squeezed his cock as you came. Daryl continued fucking you until he couldn’t hold his own orgasm back any longer. He pulled out and shot his hot seed on your tits and stomach. The physical exertion exhausted you. You could barely keep your eyes open as Daryl wiped his cum off you with your discarded panties.
Daryl was an early riser, and that didn’t change just because he had the best sex of his life last night. You were still sound asleep. Daryl admired the way the early morning sun made your skin glow and the shadow it made your long lashes cast on your cheeks. You looked so beautiful, so at peace. He was afraid that all would change once you woke up and remembered what went down last night, despite you being the one to initiate it. He carefully untangled himself from your arms and put on a shirt before slipping back into bed. Your eyes fluttered open once he was settled. Wordlessly, you wrapped your arms back around him and nuzzled into his chest.
“Mornin’, Sunshine,” he said, his voice still raspy with sleep.
“Good morning,” you replied sleepily.
He had a question that weighed on his chest since he woke up. He wanted to know what you meant when you said you’ve been waiting for months for this. He was about to ask you, but he stopped himself. You had drifted back to sleep again. You looked so peaceful and he didn’t want to disturb you with his racing thoughts. He pressed a gentle kiss to your hairline and let you continue to sleep on his chest.
notes i proofread this to the best of my abilities. i hope this was good. this idea came to me in the shower a few days ago and i just had to write it heehee =p i PROMISE i will get to the requests in my inbox and for those of you reading Seclusion, I will update that soon.
thanks for reading !!! <3
#daryl dixion x reader#daryl dixon smut#daryl dixon x reader smut#smut#the walking dead smut#the walking dead#twd daryl#twd smut#fic rec#daryl dixon x you#daryl dixon x y/n#daryl dixon#fluff#twd#pining
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To Kiss or To Kill. | Daryl Dixon |
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Masterlist
Summary: You and Daryl's relationship did not start kind. It did not begin as a friendship that turned sour over a quarrel. It began with fists and insults and continued this way until unforeseen circumstances leave you discovering that maybe Daryl and you were cut from the same cloth.
Warnings: rivals to lovers trope, daddy issues, language, descriptions of fights + bodily injuries, brief mentioning of homophobia, attempted SA, Reader is mentioned to be bisexual.
Word Count: aprox. 10k
Era: Prison to Alexandria
A/n: This is not my proudest work and I definitely think I could've done better with the material but I hope it can still be enjoyed!
Song recommendations: Ultraviolence - Lana Del Ray, Daylight - David Kushner , Sun Bleached Flies - Ethel Cain
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A lemon is sour from the start and rots with age.
The relationship you shared with Daryl could be described as said lemon.
It was nearing the end of summer. And though this meant the end of scorching heat, the winter proved to be a difficult season for survival. This morning at the prison had begun like any other. Daryl, Maggie, and Glenn we’re set out on a run to find any supplies necessary for the growing community. With all the new folk after the fall of the Governor only a few weeks before, it put more pressure on the group in their endless searches.
The town in which the prison resided did not hold many options when it came to scavenging but there was one place not yet explored. Pike County High School, the only high school in the small town of Zebulon, Georgia. Daryl thought the plan was futile. What was he to find in a high school besides dusty textbooks and inappropriate drawings in the bathroom stalls?
But none the less, Rick sent the trio on their way with a list of items in hand.
The school was as Daryl expected. Papers were thrown about the floors. Windows were broken leaving glass shards to crunch underneath their boots. Desks and chairs were thrown about. And worst of all, there was an eeriness that loomed the chaotic halls. But there was something else hanging in the air, stillness.
Maggie banged her gun on the rusted lockers and waited for any walkers to make themselves known. But the silence that followed was so loud you could practically hear the wind gliding through the shattered windows. Daryl took it a step further and threw a chair down the hall, creating a loud clattering noise as it collided with the wall. Yet still, nothing.
"Alright," Glenn muttered, his uneasiness just as high as the others. "Let's get what we need and get the hell out." Glenn pulled the list from his pocket, "Daryl find the nurse's office, take whatever you find no matter how unimportant it seems. Rick asked us to find some good books for the kids." Glenn passed the list over to a very unamused Daryl.
"Guess I ain't smart enough to find some books."
Daryl walked the halls of the school, crossbow in hand, keeping his ears peeled for any movements that weren’t his own. The silence unsettled Daryl for two reasons. There could be someone residing here which would make sense with the absence of walkers. But he could not shake the thought that there were once children who roamed these halls. Kids who were Carl’s age now. Kids who were planning who they wanted to be, and what they wanted their lives to be. But now their dreams were just as grim as these empty halls.
He spotted it as his gaze wandered from the walls to the floor.
Droplets of deep red stained the tile, varying in size and opacity. Daryl dragged his fingers along the droplets, smearing the coagulated blood. The blood was not as dry as Daryl had hoped.
Daryl drew his bow closer to himself, resting his finger on the trigger, and slowing his steps as he followed the trail of crimson dots. They led him exactly where he needed to be, the nurse's office.
The wood door creaked open, the natural light from the windows lighting the room. The scene worsened in the room. There were now blood smears staining the floors, cabinets swung open and drawers left agape. Someone had obviously barged in in a hassle, with desperate need to help themselves.
What concerned Daryl was the adjoined room to the far left, he could not see into the area unless he approached it directly. Keeping his bow up, he proceeded. Just as the tip of his bow peeked its way around the corner, it was knocked from his hands with a single blow.
Daryl had not known what knocked his bow from his grasp but he sure as hell felt the hit to his jaw.
The punch you had thrown sent a throbbing through your right hand, and the tendons in your arm fizzled with the sudden force. The man reacted quickly, grabbing you by both arms and pulling you away from the wall you had been hidden behind.
You ripped an arm from his grasp quick enough to unsheathe the blade on your thigh. The struggle continued, both of you equally pulling at the other in an attempt for dominance while simultaneously avoiding the cut of the blade. Random objects clattered to the ground in the tussle, including an old coffee mug falling and shattering.
The wound you had acquired on your leg was not helpful in this situation. Had your adrenaline not been so high, you would have dropped long ago. While you struggled to keep yourself standing, Daryl was simply shocked at the brute force of the woman in his grasp.
You paused for a moment, your grip on your knife tightening until your knuckles turned white. Just then you were able to look at him. Daryl saw the determination in your eyes. And though there was determination, there also seemed to be a pleading.
But with one forceful shove, you fell back, your leg buckling under you and your head hitting a cabinet.
A painful gasp left you, feeling the poorly done stitches rip your wound open again. Dropping your knife, your shaking hands grasped at the wound on your thigh as you pulled your back up against the cabinets. Your chest heaved with a mixture of adrenaline and pain. The skin on your thigh seared hot, every nerve around the wound throbbing.
Had you been paying attention, you would’ve noticed the man grip up his bow that was now aimed at you. It gave him time to examine you. You did not look dirty and unkept as other survivors had. Your hair was pulled back into a messy braid at the back of your head. Clothes black, all the way down to your boots. Holsters for weapons hung from your hips and thighs. And a pair of dog tags dangled around your neck.
“Daryl!” Maggie and Glenn came rambling through the door, weapons drawn. Daryl held a hand up to them, signaling that he was fine. The school was not one of great size, it did not surprise Daryl that they’d heard the tussle.
With the arrival of two new faces, you made an attempt to grab the blade you’d drop. But Daryl was quick and kicked the blade away leaving your hand to smack against the tile floor. Now left with no weaponry and not even a stable body to defend yourself, you’d figured you’d start begging to them or praying to God.
“I-I just want to leave. I’m-“ The sudden sharp tingle in your thigh cut your words short. You clenched your jaw tight and shut your eyes waiting for the muscle spasm to pass. “You’re not going anywhere on that leg.” Maggie holstered her gun and met you on the floor. There was a hesitation to her but in her heart she knew leaving you would be a death sentence. “My daddy can help you.”
“Maggie…”
“Glenn.” Maggie’s tone was stern, sending her husband a threatening glare.
While Maggie began to ask you questions, she motioned for the two men to scavenge the room. “What’s your name?”
“Y/n…”
Maggie pulled a handkerchief from her back pocket, scooting even closer to you. She motioned for you to lift your leg, “I’m Maggie. That’s Glenn and then Daryl.” She slipped the fabric beneath it, tying it in a tight knot around your wound. You winced at this, resisting the urge to pull her hands off of you.
“How many walkers have you killed?” Your eyebrows furrowed at the question. Had you known you were meant to keep track, you would’ve started long ago. “I don’t…know…a lot?” Your words were stuttered and shaken considering the pain you felt. You saw the man you had just fought glance at you from the corner of his eye. You began to debate if you should feel guilt for attacking him.
“That’s okay,” Maggie gave you a kind smile, “How many people have you killed?” She watched your face falter and your eyes shift to the ground then back to her. “Eight, I think.” Maggie gently nodded, her tone becoming slightly more serious “Why?”
“I’ve been alone for a long time.”
Maggie’s eyes met yours and for a moment, while you held each other's gaze, there was an understanding. An understanding that only another woman could begin to fathom.
Your arrival at the prison was nothing short of chaotic. The run starting as three and returning as four, though a possibility, was not expected.
A man with a beard pulled Daryl aside beginning to hound him with questions, Maggie supported you as you stood while Glenn ran off shouting the name Hershel. Much of everything after that was blurry. You could remember the man with the white beard mainly due to his kindness and gentle touch while he took care of your wounds. And you remembered the name Rick being tossed about in conversation.
"Let her rest." Hershel patted Glenn on the shoulder, muttering him a thank you for his help.
You lay flat on your back, your head and leg propped up with a pillow. You could not say it was the comfiest bed you'd ever laid in. You weren't even sure it was cozier than where you slept the night before. You fought the tiredness away, unsure of falling asleep in an unfamiliar community. But the medicine Hershel gave you made you drowsy. And soon every muscle felt heavy and your eyelids heavier.
You were unsure of how long you'd slept, only being startled awakened by the clank of metal. Rick noticed his mistake immediately pulling his hand away from the door of the cell, now standing with a guilty look on his face. "I'm sorry. I forget how loud these things are." You took a deep breath in an attempt to calm your beating heart. Rick entered the cell, opening the foldable chair Hershel had previously been sitting on.
"Was gonna drop these off for when ya woke up." Rick held up a glass of water and some type of protein bar. You adjusted yourself into a more proper sitting position, sending Rick a nod. As your mind awoke you became very conscious of your lack of pants, pulling the blanket farther up your waist. You were grateful that Ricks seemed to avert his eyes.
"I'm Rick.” His accent was noticeable.
“Y/n.” Just like your own.
“Maggie and Daryl told me a little bit about you but I wanted to speak with you directly.”
Rick held a certain type of authority to him. He spoke to you politely while still holding himself with dominance. A certain awkwardness became present when Rick spent a tad bit too long racking his brain for a question. “M’sorry about attacking, uhm… Daryl.” You decided to cut the awkwardness yourself.
To your surprise, Rick chuckled at your apology. “Please don’t apologize.” He looked at you, still with a smile on your face. “You were doing what you thought was right.” Rick shifted in the metal chair, resting his elbows atop his knees. "Did you serve?" Rick pointed to your neck, "Is that how you learned to fight?" You instinctively reached for the dog tags hanging from their chain.
"No no, they were my dads." You rubbed the smooth metal anxiously, feeling the indents of the letters and numbers imprinted. "I was an only child, only daughter at that, so my dad was rather protective of me... He had me in every boxing or self-defense class he could afford." A chuckle followed your words, reminiscing on the memory. Rick could understand your father's need to protect, having two children of his own.
"Rick." A gruff voice interrupted your conversation. The man named Daryl took up the doorway. When his eyes met yours, he seemed to falter under your gaze. He nudged his head in the opposite direction, asking for Rick to come with him. "Alright." Rick stood from the chair with an exasperated sigh, "Imma leave this right here for ya." Rick placed the water and protein bar on the chair in his place.
On his way out, he turned to you, "Maggie's gonna bring you up some clean clothes and help you get washed up. That alright?" His kind, yet tired, eyes sought an answer. You nodded and muttered a quiet thank you in return.
Your time in the prison since then could only be described as isolating. The injury on your leg kept you mostly restrained to the bed in your newly appointed cell. So, most of your time was spent with Maggie, Hershel, and occasionally Rick coming and going. Maggie cared for you in any way she could, nourishing you with food and assisting you in showering and changing. She had seemed to take a liking to you, as you did her, and you assumed you could now call her a friend.
However, there was another you don't think you could call much of anything.
Maggie helped you outside to the courtyard after you’d expressed that you were going mad looking at the same four walls. She’d left you with the book of Little Women, a blank leather journal, and a blue ink pen. “Holler if you need me, okay?” Maggie gently patted your shoulder before departing to meet Glenn only a few yards away.
Being outside after your imprisonment for the last 5 days, revived something in you. The heat from the sun's rays provided warmth on your skin but the cool breeze prevented you from overheating. You could not remember the last time you'd been outdoors without your head on a swivel or without the fear of being someone's dinner.
You could not focus on your book or your journal with the people who walked about the courtyard throwing glances your way. Everyone had heard about, the girl with the leg injury, with time. Random passers-by flashed you smiles, small waves, or even shy hello’s all of which you felt inclined to return.
“Y/n?” Though the voice was familiar, it did not stop the annoyance of having to put your pen down once again. You looked to the man, “Hi Rick.” Rick gleamed with a smile on his face “I’m glad to see you out here.”
Rick took it upon himself to take a seat at the table across from you making it obvious he desired to continue this conversation.
"Were you able to think about what we talked about?" Rick came by yesterday evening with a proposition for you. He invited you to join in with the group of people who went on runs for the community. Once you were fully healed, of course.
The only downside to this was who your main run partner was to be, Daryl. Rick saw something between you that you weren’t quite sure you saw yourself.
Daryl felt a wave of awkwardness standing behind Rick as he spoke to you. The same awkwardness he felt only a few days before standing in that doorway. Daryl knew of Rick's plans having been talked to about it only a few hours before.
He felt no need for a run partner. He was perfectly fine going about on his own but Rick thought the opposite.
What if something happens to you?
What if you get stuck somewhere?
We can’t afford to send search parties out for you.
All valid arguments from Rick. But Daryl had no desire to hear any of it. His stubbornness made him deaf.
Daryl could very clearly see you now. Whatever dirt and grime washed away revealed a remarkable woman. Your hair appeared soft and your dark eyes almost sparkled with the sun. He could see the definition of muscles on your biceps, highlighted by the short sleeves of your shirt. How you composed yourself screamed confidence as if you knew you were too pretty for a world so ugly.
And it infuriated him.
“Yeah, I uh...I wanna help any way I can.” Rick seemed pleased with your answer though the person behind him did not. You shifted in your seat, feeling Daryl’s eyes burn into you. In an attempt to redeem yourself, you spoke again, “If there’s anything I can do now, I want to.” Rick nodded at this, “We’ll find ya something.”
You could hear Daryl scoff from behind Rick. And though you tried to ignore it, you could not help the sour look you gave him in return. Daryl saw this as an invitation to continue his pronounced distaste.
“Don’t need someone who can’t walk holding me down.”
"Don't need someone who couldn't fight a girl holding me down."
Your response was quick-witted and more degrading to Daryl's masculinity than his insult to your injury. If you weren't mistaken, Daryl's eye twitched.
Rick stood from his seat to begin their exit, knowing the lengths of Daryl's temper. "You ain't nothing I couldn't handle." The chuckle you responded with and the glint of excitement in your eyes at the looming argument tested Daryl even more. "Sure, Daryl."
It was the first time you'd ever spoken his name to him. And he never stopped thinking of it for days to come. The way it rolled off your tongue and sounded with that southern twang. It left him restless at night and irritable during the day.
When your leg had healed and you'd grown tired of cleaning the library or serving daily meals, your first outing with Daryl was set. And it started just as rocky as it ended.
"Ya get bit, I ain't gonna hesitate to put a bullet in yer head."
"Why wait? I'm standing right here."
You remained quiet after that, not wanting to push the tension even more. But even the simplest of questions left Daryl huffing and puffing. It started with you asking how his morning was going. And it ended with you asking why he was such a prick.
It was a silent ride home.
You'd like to think you'd tried to find his good side in those beginning days but you soon began to question if such a thing even existed. Any time you were kind to him, he retaliated with anger. It brought out a certain type of frustration in you that you didn’t know was possible.
Within your time at the prison, you'd made yourself an esteemed part of the community. You used your [now useless] degree in agriculture to help build the gardens and begin the planting of any seeds you could find. Rick took a heavy trust in you and appointed you a seat on the prison council. And you'd shown your skills in scavenging, even when you had Daryl breathing down your neck.
It was difficult to pinpoint exactly when this whole charade started. Perhaps it had started in the nurse's office, in the courtyard, or on your first run together. But it did not matter where it began because there was one thing for sure, there seemed to be no end.
You both had a hold over another, in a way no one else did.
Daryl hated your confidence because he lacked his own. He hated that you were quick to go toe to toe with him. Because many others were too scared. He despised that you were so smart, a college graduate. And he especially hated when you spoke so highly of your father. Because he didn’t have a father to talk about at all.
But there was always a ting of something in all of his hate. Jealousy.
You hated his ego. You hated the fact that he contradicted everything you said. You hated when he called you names. Princess, he’d say or, miss college graduate. You hated that he never even tried to get to know you; to know that you weren’t this pretentious brat he painted you to be. Despite being with each other on a regular basis, there was a lacking of personal connection.
Neither of you truly knew the other. Where did he grow up? Has he ever broken any bones? What was his favorite candy as a child? When did he have his first drink?
Daryl pondered the same of you. Who taught you to braid your hair? You spoke of your father but never your mother, what happened to her? Why the dog tags? Have you ever loved another?
It was a day familiar to all the others. Your hot morning tea whirled about in your mug, your feet gliding gently around the grounds of the growing garden. After all your laborious hours in the Georgia heat, it was gratifying to see the various plants take bloom. Knowing there'd soon be a garden big enough to feed the community gave you satisfaction and perhaps a sliver of peace.
"You comin' or what?"
And there goes another blissful morning pissed down the drain.
Your long braid fell from your shoulder to your back when you looked at the disgruntled man. "We might need to find you a new mattress." You made your way to him, shoving your mug into his chest, "You can't ever seem to find a good side to wake up on." He scoffed, involuntarily taking your mug. The two of you, along with Michonne and Glenn, were set out on yet another run. Not one of great importance nor would it take that long of time but nonetheless it was still time spent around him.
Daryl followed behind you as you continued your way back to the prison, mug still in hand. "Michonne and Glenn are waitin' while yer staring at some fuckin' bushes." It was your turn to scoff, "They're not bushes. It's food. And a lot of fucking work."
Oh, Daryl knew how much work it had taken from you.
In the weeks he'd spent out in the gardens, his eyes worked more than his hands. He couldn't not look. You wore a tank top every day with the same black gardening gloves and dog tags dangling from your neck. The muscles in your biceps were always highlighted from the hours of digging. The blistering sun always had you drenched in sweat leaving your skin constantly glossy. Words couldn't describe the way he felt when it was dripping down your neck and into the crevice of your breast.
He was outraged for the entire three weeks.
"Whatever."
The mug in his hand became very apparent to him. "When the hell ya give me this?" He now strode beside you, approaching the car at the gates. You smiled to yourself, "A while ago."
Daryl would have preferred to ride his bike to avoid being trapped in such a confined space with you. But it was, “A waste of gas” as Rick would say.
You weren’t exactly sure what Daryl had done. But he had particularly did you in today. So greatly that you almost walked home. Glenn had to beg you to come back. Perhaps it was the way he glared at you that threw you over the edge. So cold and hostile. Or the way he stepped all over your feet, cutting you off mid-sentence, always thinking that he was right. You were simply always wrong.
This particular run would change the trajectory of your relationship forever.
You and Daryl had split in the strip mall, deciding to cover more ground separately. The strip was usually overrun with a hoard of walkers but as of late, they seemed to be diminishing one at a time. It had become clear enough to begin digging at the stores it held. Some random clothing stores, liquor shops, a CVS pharmacy, and dead restaurants.
You were rummaging about the pharmacy, most of it already picked through.
Examining the bottle of prenatal vitamins in your hand for Maggie, you heard footsteps. Thinking it was Daryl you spoke. "It's not like these expiration dates even matter anymore." Blind to your danger, you turned to face him.
Before you were given time to react to the two strange men, you were grabbed by the back of your neck, pulling at the nape of your hair, a blade held to the side of your throat. The bottle dropped from your hand, clattering to the floor. You grasped the man's arm attempting to keep the blade from your skin but you'd failed; cuts appeared on the delicate skin.
"Stay." The other man reached for your gun belt, unholstering your weapon and keeping it for himself. You kept your calm but your eyes widened with fear. "Scream and you'll die." The short man with the knife moved it away from your throat, his hand freeing your neck. The other man, who had taken your gun, now had it pointed at you.
It was loaded. You knew because you were the one who'd loaded it that very morning.
"Ya can't just come into the place we've worked so hard to clean up and start taking things...we need some form of payment."
"I have my bag." You offered hoping they would merely steal your things and go. Slowly, not taking your eyes off them, you moved your pack off your back. "There's food and ammo and other supplies." Your bag was snatched from your hands with haste. "Thank you." It wasn't genuine, just taunting.
"But that's not what we want." Their eyes looked at you more hungry than any walker. Once you realize what they meant, tears begin to blur your vision. You could feel them begin to come closer to you. Feeling helpless and too stunned to cry out for Daryl, you weren't sure if you should start fighting or begging.
Daryl heard your continuous screeches from down the way, dropping his bag of clothing. "Y/n!" His feet carried him to you swiftly. You cried his name shoving one man off of you from your pinned spot against the shelves. It was foolish of Daryl to begin shooting so wildly.
Luckily you moved to the floor in avoidance of the bullets, covering your head and blocking your ears.
You kept yourself crouched on the ground, deaf to what was happening around you. Until a hand grabbed your bicep and hoisted you from the ground, "Come on, we gotta go." For once you were relieved to see Daryl.
But you wouldn't be for long.
"We shouldn't have split up!" Daryl shouted. He was walking too fast for you to keep up, as he did at times. You trailed behind him stumbling your way over the branches and leaves in an attempt to make it back to the road with his bike. "You always got stupid fuckin' ideas!" Daryl's adrenaline was still pumping, too ignorant to think of you. He muttered to himself, “Course there was people, walkers don’t just clear out by themselves.”
He marched onto the blacktop.
"Ya talk big game just to not do nothing to help yourself." Daryl was angrily throwing the green brush off his bike, removing it from its hidden spot in the treeline. "Always talkin' 'bout yer daddy and what he did for ya." Daryl said this more to himself but it didn’t fail to reach your ears.
"Well, where was he now yuh?" Daryl turned around to face you, his chest heaving. Only to catch you in the midst of buttoning your pants. Guilt dreaded him.
You didn't care to hear his insults. And you had no desire to get on that bike and be so close to him right now.
"I.." Words couldn't find themselves in your mouth. All you could focus on was the way everything felt frozen yet moving at an intense speed at the same time. Daryl saw the way you struggled with yourself.
There was a twisting pain within your chest as your panic only grew. "Y/n." Daryl put his frustrations aside, the situation becoming clear to him now. He swallowed down his pride and reached a hand out to you. Before his fingertips could even graise the fabric of your shirt, you took a step back. "No." You spoke gently, looking out to the woods instead of to Daryl; all you could fathom now was the desire to escape.
"Y/n," Daryl repeated more soft, "We gotta go home."
"I don't want to." You turned back to him abruptly. He could see the tears irritating your eyes. Where your hands lay across your chest, you could feel your rapid heart.
"Why not?" Daryl couldn't understand why you wouldn't want to go home. It was safe, it was comfortable. Two things you desperately need right now.
"I can't, I…I can't get on the bike right now." Your frustration with yourself was growing.
Why couldn't you just get on the bike?
Why couldn't you breathe?
Why didn't you listen to Daryl and not split up?
Why was Daryl being so kind to you suddenly? Was it pity? You hated pity.
"Alright." Daryl watched the tears begin to roll down your cheeks. "We can walk, it's alright." There was no way of making it back to the prison on foot before sundown. Daryl knew this. But it was a sacrifice he was willing to make for you.
Daryl gripped the handles on his bike, walking the heavy machine down the road with you in tow. You were seemingly able to calm yourself down. The only thing remaining now was shame. You were embarrassed that Daryl had seen you so vulnerable. And you were even more embarrassed that he had to save you.
All the countless years felt wasted. All that time spent in the ring or on some thin gym mats. All those tireless nights where your father wouldn’t allow you to rest until you got one more. It was a phrase all too familiar.
You knew Daryl was annoyed having to walk, his huffs and buffs gave it away. The sun was beginning to set. "Daryl we can drive." You tried to persuade for the third time. "S'fine."
"Daryl, it's getting dark."
"S'fine!" He shouted back frustrated with the disappearing sun. You stopped in your tracks. "I know somewhere we can sleep."
You could hear the soft sounds of the water flowing down the river bed. The moon allowed a glow onto the water, gleaming with the current. Crickets and cicadas chirped in the night air like music to your ears. Despite the struggles of being in the wilderness alone, nights like this made you miss it.
"What ya doin' over there?" Daryl asked sitting a few feet behind you at the fire. "Nothing."
You pushed yourself from the ground, making your way back to him. Daryl bitterly smoked his cigarette. You didn't need to ask to know why he was so irritated, you could already imagine. Perhaps catching the fish for dinner was what did it. Or the hundreds of pounds of metal he walked for miles. Or maybe he actually was mad about having to save you. Or the simple fact that he was stuck out here with you.
You couldn't pick one.
No words were spoken, just the sounds of the wilderness and the crackling of the fire. It allowed you to think.
You began to wonder if you'd ever actually hated him. Because how could you hate someone you'd grown such an attachment to? How could you hate the person you screamed out for in your time of need? There were countless days where he'd anger you so much you thought you might actually strangle him. But somehow you always went right back. You always met him at the gates or stumbled upon him at breakfast.
Staring off into the fire you began to accept that you all along had been trying [and presumably failing] to win him over. "You okay?" Your eyes looked from the fire to him. His cigarette no longer present, "M'fine." You replied.
Daryl would be lying if he said he wasn't worried about you. Just because he didn't care for you at times, didn't mean he doesn't care about you. "It happened a couple times out on the road. I could handle it then...I just..." You shifted where you sat, "Got surprised today was all." To hear this wasn't the first time but a time of many, gutted Daryl.
You had become more afraid of encountering a man than a walker.
Daryl was never angry with you. He was more angry with himself, unable to protect you from finding yourself in such a situation.
"Wasn't yer fault. M'sorry." Shockingly, Daryl's guilt overshined his ego.
You let out a deep sigh looking back out towards the water. You knew his apology was sincere but you couldn't find the courage to acknowledge it. "I was just thinking about how I miss it out here sometimes. The sounds, the views, the peace."
Your confidence and sharp tongue did not seem present at this moment. Looking back to him, he seemed completely entranced by this newfound gentle side of you. "But that's only one percent of it, isn't it?" Daryl never took his eyes off yours, the fire casting an orange glow within them. "Yeah."
The other ninety - nine percent was the actual survival. All the bloody fights. The permanent anxiety. The sleepless nights due to fear. The painful emptiness of your stomach. The constant blisters on your ankles [that never healed] from running or walking. And the unbearable hopelessness.
"Were ya always alone?" Daryl had always been curious. You shook your head, "No." He nodded his head and looked away, leaving it at that. He had no desire to make your night even more miserable by talking about the ones you'd lost.
"It was just me and my brother for awhile."
"Meryl?"
Daryl furrowed his eyebrows knowing he'd never mentioned him before.
"Maggie's talked about him briefly."
"All nice things?" Daryl asked sarcastically.
"Not really." Your attempt to stifle your laugh was a failure, the smile lingering. But this did not anger Daryl the way you thought it would. Instead, he had his own small smile, scoffing and shaking his head. "He wasn't the best at times...but he was my brother ya know?"
You nodded muttering a, yeah.
Daryl flicked the butt of his cigarette into the dying fire. Knowing this was the first and potentially last time you'd ever speak to another so tenderly again, you continued.
"I was an only child. My mom died in childbirth when I was eight…so I never got siblings."
"M'sorry."
"Don't." You didn't say it to be cruel. You grew up hearing sympathy after sympathy, you did not need anymore. "I was never alone though. I had my Dad. And my aunt and uncles helped take care of me so I was surrounded by my cousins all the time...I guess I did have siblings in a way." A nauseating wave of nostalgia rose in your throat, silencing you for a mere second.
"My mom died when I was young too. 'Cept my Dad was just some drunk asshole, didn't care 'bout nobody but himself." Daryl couldn't deny his slight envy towards you. You grew up with a father who cared for you and your safety. It made him wonder how you'd ended up alone in the end.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't need yer apologies Y/n."
"I know."
The fire was no more. Only red hot embers burning on the rocky gravel. And it made you think that perhaps it was symbolic that the fire was slowly diminishing as your conversation grew more gentle.
A few minutes of silence had passed before either of you spoke again. "Look at us, talking to each other, treating each other like human beings for once." You joked with a laugh in an effort to replace the depressing mood.
You actually heard Daryl chuckle even though he lowered his head in an attempt to hide it. His eyes glanced at you, your own cheeky smile dimpling your cheeks. If this is what having a personal connection with Daryl was, it was dangerous.
Why did it take so long?
Was what you wanted to scream at him.
I could've loved you if you'd just given me a chance.
"Maybe we have more in common than we ever allowed."
Daryl broke eye contact with you, staring down at the glowing embers, chewing on his bottom lip. And he did the only thing he ever learned how to do when he felt something. "Night Y/n."
You didn't know why you expected anything different.
"Goodnight Daryl."
Daryl took his vest off, rolling it up and using it as a makeshift pillow. He turned away from you, his back tauntling in your face.
You stayed up a little while after, too overwhelmed by thoughts to rest. Unbeknownst to you, Daryl could not rest either. In fact, he did not sleep that entire night, only allowing himself ten-minute naps here and there. The only sense of relaxation he felt was when he'd check over his shoulder and see you in blissful sleep. As if nothing and no one had ever touched you.
When Rick asked what'd happened, Daryl lied. Saying you'd been outrun by a hoard and had to crash somewhere safe for the night. The days continued on, and what happened that day was not spoken of again. But there had come an understanding that Daryl and you were indeed, more in-common than ever allowed.
Patrick approached Daryl and you at breakfast as you mapped the run for the next morning. "H-hi!" Patrick greeted sheepishly, giving a small wave to the table. Maggie and Glenn greeted him first. Then you, pulling your attention away from the map on the table to him; giving a polite smile and nod. "Hey Patrick, everything okay?" Rick asked from where he sat beside Daryl. "Yeah..." Patrick was nervous on his feet, awkwardly pushing his glasses farther up the bridge of his nose. "I wanted to ask Daryl and Y/n if I could join them out there?"
There was suddenly a stiffness in the air. Glances were exchanged between the lot of you. "Patrick I-" Rick scratched his beard awkwardly, finding a response for the boy. Patricks's confidence plummeted. He had spent hours building up the courage to ask, only to be met with stiff glances.
"How old are you Patrick?" It was an odd question for you to ask but it did not come without reason. "Uhmm fifteen."
You rose from your seat making your way over to him as gently as your feet would allow. Come, you spoke gently reaching an arm out to him.
Patrick began to walk with you.
"I was younger than you when my father began to enroll me in fighting classes…a short time after my mother died.”
Pausing your words, you continued your stroll until you stopped just before hitting the grass. "He told me that you could never be too young to be prepared for what the world was to through at you...What does that mean to a little girl who only wanted to play with her Barbies?"
Patrick listened to you intentively, entranced by the way you spoke.
Looking out to the green gardens, you seemed lost in thought for a second. "I don't think your question is outrageous. I just don't think you're prepared." Patrick seemed to understand this answer more, nodding his head.
You knew the day would come when the prison folk grew tired of looking at the same walls and more curious about the world beyond. Especially the children. You'd seen the group of kids over by the fences, close enough to look at the walkers but far enough away for safety. It was often that they were scolded by the adults.
"I know I’m not a fighter. I’m not like you or Daryl or even Carl. But I just wanna…” Patrick paused, “be brave for once.”
You couldn't help but smile at the innocence of the boy.
"You can't go out there knowing nothing Patrick." He had finally begun to accept defeat but the long face and disappointed eyes tugged at your sympathy.
"I can teach you. Just as my father taught me." Patrick's eyes lit up with hope. "Th-thank you Y/n." He gleamed with excitement, reaching a hand out to shake yours. You were truly at a loss of words with no choice but to shake it in return.
You'd spent day after day out in the field with Patrick. You taught him how to block blows, how to hold and use daggers, and much more. He was skittish and shaky most days but he was trying. In place of your days with Patrick, you were skipping your usual days with Daryl. You truly hadn't thought he'd mind much. If anything, you assumed he'd be happy to finally have a break from you.
"I feel like this wouldn't hurt that bad." Patrick commented. Carl was punching the book Patrick held, having begun to invite himself to the practices. Thick index books were the closest thing you'd find to a punching bag. You chuckled, "It hurts more than you'd expect."
Daryl approached the three of you. You could hear his footsteps. You’d recognize them even in the dead of night. They were gentler than normal as if he wished to not disturb. "It hurts more if you have rings on." Patrick looked at you curiously, "Did you used to wear rings Y/n?" You nodded happily. "All the time.”
You turned to finally face Daryl. "Hey." You greeted, taking the last few steps to meet him. "Hi." Daryl looked about, chewing on his bottom lip. "You ain't been showing up for runs." It almost, almost, sounded as if this upset him. "I've been here," you motioned to the young boys, "You know that."
Daryl nodded.
Of course he knew. He saw you every day, always wanting to come over and join but never allowing himself to.
"You really serious 'bout all this?" Daryl nudged his head to Patrick and Carl. You let out a deep sigh. You asked yourself the same question. Was this serious? Did you really plan on taking a kid outside the gates? There was a chance this was all for nothing at all. But what you did know was that it kept your mind at peace and your days busy.
"I don't know. I thought we could at least take him down to the river. It's nice down there, it's not far, would get him outta here for a few hours."
The river.
"Alright."
"Alright."
You sat alone at dinner that night, needing quiet time after hanging out with teenage boys for the majority of your day. You poked about your rice and veggies, still working on the copy of Little Women. "Hey." Daryl greeted. The day was growing late, the sun beginning to disappear from beneath the trees; he'd presumably just gotten back.
"Hi." You looked from your page, secretly happy he was giving you an excuse to put it down. Daryl's eyes looked anywhere but your own. "I-uh...got something for ya." Daryl dug into his front pocket, grabbing the handful of metal. He placed the rings on the table, making their own clattering noise together as they fell.
You seemed bewildered at this. "What...uh." Daryl chewed nervously on his thumb. He'd searched through this town and the next to find them for you, rummaging through old antique stores and dusty jewelry boxes. Picking out the ones he thought you’d like; which could mean nothing at all. “You didn't have to."
"S'fine." You nodded, the smile finally creeping it’s way to your features. "Thank you, Daryl." You were flattered. Flattered to think that for once, he'd actually listened to you. "Do you wanna go get dinner and come sit?" You offered.
"Yeah, I'd like that."
A certain closeness was growing. The arguments slowly became banter. And the war of dominance diminished. You began to work together as partners, mapping runs and brainstorming improvements for the prison. Instead of using your skills against each other, you’d began to find the perfect balance between.
Daryl joined you most days with Patrick. He found that he had no desire to go beyond the gates unless you were in tow.
There were moments when sheer frustration retook hold of you. But never did it reach the lengths as before. It came with reason, with a pleading, instead of merely arguing of who was right and who was wrong.
You turned the rings on your fingers about as you walked to the dining area outside. Daryl was a ways away, smoking his morning cigarette. “Morning.” You greeted, crossing your arms and taking your spot beside him. “Morning.”
The end of summer was near, mornings were chillier than usual but days still hot from the sun. There was a curtain of peace over this particular morning. The smell of Daryl’s cigarette filled your nose along with the morning dew. His presence comforted you. “I think it was around this time last year when you guys picked me up.”
Daryl blew the smoke from his lips, “Yeah, biggest mistake ever.” He joked. This earned a laugh from you. Daryl watched the joy on your face; it scrunched your eyes and accentuated the apples of your cheeks. “Yeah, I bet.”
He couldn’t take his eyes from you and a heaviness weighed within his chest. Because he knew, just as you did, that it was not only friendship lingering. It was more.
“I think I’m gonna go out, make sure the path to the river is clear.” Daryl knew what this insinuated. “We’re taking him out today?” Daryl had begun to hope that all of your time with Patrick was nothing, that it was merely something to fill up the days. “It feels like a peaceful day…” You could hear the uncertainty in his voice. “Besides, Patrick’s not been feeling good, I doubt he’ll even want to go. It’s the effort that means something to him.”
Hmm, Daryl hummed. You nudged your elbow into him, “Keep an eye on him for me, okay?” Daryl hummed in response again. “D…” You nudged him again as if needing a more reassuring answer for your verbal contract. The nickname perked his ears and heated his cheeks. Looking to you, he nodded.
You gave him a thankful smile. “Be safe!” Daryl shouted to you as you began on your way.
Arriving back to the prison you could feel within your gut that something was wrong. The sympathetic eyes that Michonne greeted you with solidified this.
Daryl recognized your footsteps entering the cell block.
“What's happened?" Daryl rushed to stand in front of you, blocking your path. It was eerily silent. “Come on.” Daryl placed his hands on your shoulders trying to turn you away. You shoved his hands from you, slipping past him.
"Y/n.” Daryl could not stop you from continuing on. Your expression was stuck in a state of confusion and shock as your feet guided about the chaotic cell block. It smelled of metallic blood and bitterly sour. Almost as though you'd stuck your nose in a gaping infected wound. When you'd turned your head to glance into a cell, you saw him.
Patrick lay still on the ground, an arrow lodged in his skull. An airy gasp left you, clutching your hands to your chest. It was as if you couldn't take your eyes away. Your eyes still not yet communicating to your brain what you were looking at. But when it did, the only thing you could seem to focus on was the arrow. An arrow.
Daryl watched the realization settle on your features when you turned to him. For once, Daryl felt a sense of fear. And it only worsened when you began towards him.
It was as quick as a breath. You unsheathed the dagger on your hip and aimed it at him.
"Y/n no!"
Daryl caught your wrists, the blade mere inches from his right eye. Though he stopped the blade, your brute force did not stop him from being shoved into the closest wall.
"I told you to look out for him!" You yelled through your glassy eyes.
He had no words for you, pure guilt blocking any defense or insult.
"I had to." You scoffed at this, "I can't trust you to do anything."
"Y/n it's not his fault. It was an accident." Rick reasoned with you.
With his back pressed against the wall, he had fully submitted himself to your wrath. His guilt would let you kill him now if you'd like. His hands around your wrist did not hurt nor squeeze to withhold your strength, they began to merely rest there.
Your rapid breathing began to slow to deep inhales and exhales, ones that moved your entire chest. Your eyes remained steady on his, the world drowning out around you.
While his eyes showed remorse, yours burned with anger; eyebrows furrowed, hot tears slipping down your cheeks.
With one forceful shove, you ripped your arms from Daryl's grasp, his back bumping the cement wall. The dagger made a clattering noise to the floor, having been lost from your grasp in the process. You stood there for a moment looking to Daryl as if waiting for something.
"M'sorry."
His apology only seemed to anger you, your face once again turning hateful. You took a few steps back before making your exit.
When time came to take care of the ones lost, you helped dig their graves; in defiance of everyone telling you not to. Your hands covered in splinters from the blistering wood of the shovel’s handle. The once thriving and growing prison become melancholy, a heavy cloud of sorrow always above.
You and Daryl had not spoken for days. You'd ditched any planned runs that had been scheduled. But without fail, Daryl waited every morning for you, on the off chance you'd join him again. And when you never did, he kept an eye on you from afar.
You had become quiet and distant. He seemed to only find you chatting with Maggie or Glenn and on the off chance, Rick. You were on fence duty every day presumably taking out every bit of anger on those poor dead bastards.
You'd been out there day after day, nothing but water in your system, running off of pure spite and grief. You'd be out there till your adrenaline wore off and your body gave up on itself from exhaustion. If Daryl wasn't mistaken he had spotted you crying on some days; but that bloody pipe never left your hands.
You had begun to wake up earlier than Daryl, always managing to slip away from him just in time. You ignored him at every meal and walked by him as if he was a ghost.
Daryl couldn't deny the itch of missing you. He longed for you to look at him again, to smile at him and call him names. He began to even miss when you yelled at him, as cruel and loud as you could be.
Daryl couldn't continue on like this. You were torturing him.
He had awoken particularly early this day, ensuring he was in the kitchen long before you; knowing you never skipped your morning tea.
Exhaustion was all you could feel. Your body raged against your decisions every day. Your arms were sore, hands red and raw from gripping the damn pipe so hard. But you could not allow yourself to be around him. You couldn't stand to be trapped in those cells, indulged with pity.
Wrapping the strap of the fingerless gloves around your wrist, you wandered into the kitchen. Glancing up, you saw him, stopping your steps. The kitchen was dark on this early morning, the sun not yet fully risen.
Every thought Daryl had vanished from his mind. Every speech he'd rehearsed or apology left him in an instant. He hadn't known seeing you face to face, alone, would leave him so breathless. Daryl could see your exhaustion even in the dim light. Your usually neat braid had been done in haste, it was sloppy and hairs fell messily into your face. The constant emotional distress dragged on your features.
"I had to see ya."
You crossed your arms over your chest, closing yourself off from him. "So you just waited for me here." Your tone was venom to him. Daryl swallowed sharply, second-guessing his actions. "Ya get yer tea every mornin'." It would be flattering to think he'd memorized your everyday routine if it was any other time. But you couldn't find that now.
"Was gonna go out..."
He wasn't. Daryl would only go if you were in tow.
You scoffed at him. Had he truly gone through all this effort just to ask you to join him on a sleazy run?
Your attitude hurt Daryl more than he'd like to admit. "Just wanted to see if ya wanted to come with me?"
You knew why he actually was here. Scratching the skin on your arm nervously, you said, "No Daryl."
“Why the hell not?” Your mouth dropped agape. Astonished at his mere audacity. “Why not?” You repeated back. Daryl looked at you blankly. Should he apologize? Or should he begin his stubbornness rant about all the ways it wasn't his fault? You shook your head, "You're pathetic."
The fire was lit once again.
You'd insulted his ego and his efforts to meet you here. But most of all, you'd insulted any feelings he'd developed for you.
Daryl's face switched from hurt to a hateful glare in a second. You didn’t care to continue on with him, turning and disappearing into the hallway. Daryl’s anger took hold of him as he rushed after you. “M’pathetic?” He followed after you, stomping like a child.
You ignored him, continuing on, letting the door slam in his face when you exited outside. Daryl following suit in your path did not falter. Carol and Rick turned their attention to the commotion.
Daryl and you spewed insults at each other. You'd reached down in yourself, past the grief and guilt, and pulled any degrading thing you could manage to say to him. And he did the same. No words you said could possibly cut him as deeply as his actions cut you.
"I shoulda left ya out there!"
"Yeah I wish you fucking would've..." You took a step closer to him. "But you couldn't because you fucking needed me."
"I don't need you."
"You fucking need me." You repeated.
"Yeah? Then you need me!"
"I don't fucking need you! I never needed you."
Daryl lowered his tone, narrowing his eyes. He was mere inches from your face, your foreheads almost touching. “Ya didn't need me out there, hm?" He watched your furrowed eyebrows falter. Daryl knew he was crossing a line but couldn't find it in his heart to stop. "Where was yer daddy that day, yuh?"
Your glassy eyes looked up at him attempting to form your own degrading insult. "What? Say it, come on say it Y/n." He egged you on.
You only think about yourself, just like your father.
But you refrained, swallowing your words along with your tears. "Fuck you." Daryl watched you walk away, wiping at your face. "Fuck you!" Regret dreaded him. He watched as you continued on, your body shaking from a mixture of adrenaline and tears. He could have run after you then, apologies spewing from his mouth but his stubbornness kept him still.
The prison fell that same day.
Amid chaos and destruction, Daryl could only find himself to look for you. And when he finally accepted defeat, he could only pray that you'd made it out.
You had fled on your own. Fighting your way through to return to the comfort of the wilderness. After a few strenuous days on your own again, you'd found Carol and Tyreese; joining them with the girls. The blisters on your feet had returned as did the heaviness deep in your chest.
You thought about him more than you'd like to admit. And Carol did her part in reminding you of him on the daily. You'd begun to dwell on how you'd treated him in those final days. You’d denied yourself the comfort of his company. You urned for him to be gentle to you once again. To speak to you so deeply and sincerely as he had before. To comfort you amidst your grief. All the draining nights of crying yourself to dehydration, you desired for him to be there.
You’d never been hugged by Daryl but in your mind, his touch would’ve healed a thousand gaping wounds.
"I regret it deeply now." You'd say to Carol.
"I'm sure he feels the same." She'd respond.
A longing for your life to return as it was among those prison walls struck you down every hour of every day. The wish to go back to that morning and accept his offer. To take his hand and go beyond the walls. Maybe one more day together would’ve fixed everything. And you wouldn’t be left with the guilt of leaving things off on a bad note; never to see him again.
The smoke rose above the tree line, only making you more anxious. With Tyreese and Judith safely at the cabin, [or so you thought], you kept guard at the road. Keeping an eye for anyone making an escape.
Kill them if they weren’t one of us. Carol instructed.
But the sound of gunfire made you unsure of anyone’s survival. Fuck, you muttered to yourself out of frustration. You glanced constantly down the road and amongst the trees, hoping for a familiar face.
You turned your last surviving ring anxiously about your finger. A rustle in the woods grabbed your attention. You gripped your gun closely in your hands, stepping towards the tree line. When it was deemed clear, you continued on, your boots crunching on the leaves.
Your ears perked at a sudden snap of a twig. Whipping your body around, you pointed your gun.
Daryl aimed his bow to you, the tip of your weapons mere inches from the other. Your breath caught in your throat. His eyes were tired, his face bruised. But you couldn't say you looked any better.
Both your fingers lingered over your triggers, though neither of you would shoot. Daryl lowered his bow. Looking at you with teary eyes. You lowered your own weapon, looking to him with the same unsure gaze. There seemed to be a mutual understanding that neither of you had the energy to fight. Daryl wanted to reach out to you but the looming fear of rejection didn’t allow him. "Y/n?" Maggie snapped you from your daze. “Maggie?” You rushed to embrace her, discarding Daryl.
The weeks spent on the road proved to be difficult. Everyone grew more hopeless by the day and this hopelessness only grew when it became loss after loss. There was no time to heal from one loss before having to mourn another. First Bob, then Tyreese, and then Beth. You’d glued yourself to Maggie after Beth just as she did for you after Patrick.
Daryl mourned Beth in private. You wanted to be there for him, to provide him a shoulder to cry on. But he’d shut you out, just as you’d done to him. And besides, you never even tried, too focused on Maggie to consider it more than a thought.
You and Daryl had become strangers once again. There was no room for forgiveness, no time to spew apologies to each other, and no space to coddle each other through the pain.
Alexandria came to the suffering group, shining a new light of hope and a more secure future.
But this meant you could not hide from him anymore nor him you. The known could no longer be left unspoken.
You’d slipped away from the main house to the house next door that belonged to the group but was yet to be used. Daryl was first to notice your absence, asking where you’d gone so late. When he was told, the urge to follow after arose.
The front door was left unlocked, allowing Daryl entry. “Y/n?” The house was dimly lit, an amber glow looming from across the room. Daryl saw your figure sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace. A liquor bottle sat atop the coffee table reading, Honey Whiskey, along with an empty glass seemingly for him. The other was in your hand, resting on your thigh. He couldn't help but think how perfectly you the liquor was; bitter yet soothing and sweet.
Daryl didn't know what told him to sit beside you but he did not resist the urge.
Nothing was said, the both of you staring off into the gas-lit flames. Your eyes studied the fake logs that were engulfed by flames, comparing it to how real wood burns. Daryl craved for you to speak to him. He didn't care if it was hurtful. Any words, cruel or no, were better than this silence. "Y/n..."
"I forgive you." Daryl went still. You hadn't given him time to breathe.
"What?"
Just then you turned, your freshly cleaned hair falling over your shoulder. The fire cast a glow on your features; highlighting the bridge of your nose and emoting a sparkle within your eyes.
“I said I forgive you.” It was the gentlest tone you’d ever spoken to him in, almost a whisper.
“I don’t think I had reason to be angry in the first place. I was just trying to blame someone that wasn’t myself.” You reached forward, popping the cap from the bottle and pouring Daryl a glass. You handed it to him, along with a slight smile. It tugged at his heart.
“M’sorry…bout what I said that day. 'Bout your Dad...Wasn’t right.” Daryl swirled the liquor about his glass, wondering where you’d found it. You took a deep breath before speaking on, “My daddy disowned me.”
The dog tags around your neck suddenly felt as though they weighed fifty pounds. It was a burden you carried around your neck every day, hoping the weight would be lifted lighter if you just spoke highly. "Why?" Daryl couldn't help but ask. You hesitated, your mouth gaping but no words following. "Because I loved a woman." You flashed Daryl an insecure smile, unsure of how he'd react. "I lost her about a month before you guys picked me up. That's why I was alone."
Daryl felt a whirlwind of emotions hit him at once.
How many times had he thrown your father in your face like some jealous brat?
“I think I resented ya a lot. Thinking ya had a father that rolled out the red carpet for you." Daryl had found his own courage in a now empty cup. You took note of this, pouring more for him. "I know, D."
"M'sorry."
"I know that too."
After that, a soft silence fills the room. The two of you sit peacefully, content with the weight slowly lifting from the shoulders of your friendship. But there was another topic to relive before you could truly sweep up all of the choked-off fragments and furnish them with conclusions.
“Patrick uh…”
“Ya don’t gotta talk about that Y/n.”
“No, I need to.”
The liquor wasn’t persuading you to talk nor to act a certain way, you’d barely drank any.
A deep sigh left you and you rested your back against the couch. “Patrick talked about his parents a lot. He said that his mom wanted him to be brave…That’s why he wanted to go out, he said that he felt like a coward. He’d always been safe in Woodbury then the prison.” Your words were quick and shaken.
Daryl listened attentively, taking sips of the whiskey in hopes it would calm his mind. “He thought that if he went out, even once, he would be brave… like us.” You motioned to you and Daryl. A smile rose on your face. “He also just really wanted to impress you, he was so excited when you started joining us in the mornings.” You took a sip from your own cup finding strength in the liquid.
“I know you always thought it was silly but…Patrick reminded me a lot of my cousin. He was my best friend until my aunt moved to a different state. I promised to keep in touch but I started college, got distracted, and only saw him on holidays.”
Your words trailed as if unsure of what was to be said.
“Until he jumped off a fucking overpass.” You could feel Daryl’s sympathetic eyes looking at you. “In his note, he said he knew he was a coward but he couldn’t be here anymore.” Your lip began to quiver but you quickly covered it with a swig of liquor. Daryl was left to think while you choked your tears down.
"They were brave." Daryl said in hopes it would relieve some of your guilt.
You placed your glass on the table beside the couch. "And dead they are." The tears could no longer be drowned in whiskey. You covered your face with your hands. Your body trembled violently, sobs racking your chest. Daryl put down his own glass. “C’mere…c’mere please.”
Daryl scooted closer to you, grasping for you to meet him halfway. You met him gladly.
You gripped your arms around him tighter, resting your head on his shoulder. A deep sigh of relief left both of you, melting into the other's embrace. “You’ve never hugged me before." You commented with sadness, your words mumbling against the fabric of his shirt; now wet with tears. "I know. M’sorry.” He could hold you all night if need be, to make up for all the nights he hadn’t.
He smelled of pine from the soap he'd used to wash. But the familiar scent of motor oil and cigarette smoke could never be washed from his skin. At first, it annoyed you. You'd complain that the oil gave you headaches and scold him about his unhealthy habit. But now, no four walls of any house could provide you the safety and comfort of Daryl's broad figure.
You pulled away from him but your hands did not leave him. They dragged down from his back to rest comfortably in his own. Your soft skin caressed his calloused hands. Your forehead rested against his. He did not remove himself from you but merely looked down, avoiding your gaze. "Ya been drinking a lot Y/n, ain't in the right mindset right now." You shook your head, "No Daryl...”
Your nose bumped his own as you scooped your head down, capturing his lips in yours. You taste of the bitterly sweet liquor, your lips still slightly damp from the tears that fell only moments ago. He resists before giving in to his longest desires. It made his nerves feel fuzzy. “I love you.” Your words mumbled against his lips.
The kiss turned from gentle to desirable in time, lips moving in sync together. His hands moved to either side of your face, ensuring to keep you close. You began to lay back, hoping Daryl would follow. He was quick too, ensuring his body weight did not crush you.
Needing a moment to breathe, you parted from him. Your back relaxed against the plush couch all your tense muscles turning to putty beneath him. Daryl's head fell to your chest. He felt your own heartbeat, just as quick as his own. "Love ya too."
Daryl's hands freely wondered you. He gripped your thighs, feeling the jagged scar on your thigh through the thin pajama pants; remembering the day you met. "I fell down a hill." Daryl stopped his lingering hands, "What?" There was a ting of a smile on your face. His eyes sparkled with admiration. "I was fighting a walker and I fell downhill. I think I got stabbed by a tree branch or my own knife, I never knew." You admitted shamefully. Daryl dropped his head to your chest again, chuckling.
His laughter sent vibrations through you, triggering a laugh of your own. You bring your hand to the back of his head, stroking his messy brown hair. “Why don’t you stay here with me tonight?” Daryl lifted his head, the fire dimly lighting the right side of his face. He nodded.
"I'd like that."
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