#small edit because i got the timeframe wrong i think

[leatherrice]

Not usually on this late but I felt a disturbance in the force when Were Ralph's newest account got atomized.

What the fuck is wrong with y'all?? @staff @support targeting my boy Ralph like this. Absolute bullshit... you're gonna tell me their week old account already did something to offend you enough to warrant another immediate ban? You can't even put in the effort to offer a cleaned up corporate excuse.

Stop trying to get rid of them. The NSFW accounts and furries and all those lads were here before Tumblr decided to strip us and scrub us clean, and we've since tried since to appease the terms of our new overlords... but now you're gonna bend the very rules you've tied us up with because you want your Tumblr TV TikTok clone to be YouTube Kids levels of censored and kid-friendly? And you're willing to tackle the content creators and artists that built the base of this website to make your apocalyptic nightmare a reality?

And you've barely even graced the face of the pornbot problem? You can't just come in here and harass us out of our homes. I won't stand for it.

[frobin]

What do you think would've happened if Robin went to water 7 as a child and met Franky and the crew?

Hey anon! 

I’m sorry this took so long! (over a month) But I really had no time to get in the zone for this and now I hope I covered everything but I’m always open for more suggestions. And I went way overboard with this. 

Have a look at this mindmap. Or here is the link. I also added some notes and again I’m always open to suggestions and if someone is interested I can invite you to edit or add comments.

The most interesting part about Robin appearing at W7 way before canon would be of course the question as to WHEN exactly. 

In the mind-map I put out down as “as child”, “as teen”, “as adult”. 

Well, let’s focus on child because of course I read the question wrong in the beginning:  If she managed to get onto the Grand Line as a child, right after Ohara got destroyed she would be 8/9 while Franky would be 14/15. In case you want to add Robin before Tom was first dragged before the judge that would be when Franky was 12, Robin being 6 so you’d need to make slight adjustments to the canon but I still added that to the mindmap. 

I’d say in that age Franky had lost a bit of his anger. Considering Frankys own story of abandonment I guess he would try to be inviting to a new child in the family. Especially one that seems so scared, tired, sad and angry. 

Iceburg (who would be 18/19) would probably be annoyed but only because Franky is so exhausting. As soon as Iceburg sees Robins intelligence and how useful she can be he would be welcoming too and probably prefer her as a younger sibling to Franky. 

That brings me to a very important point! If that would be the AU chosen, it is up to everyone if they ship Franky and Robin. They might have grown up in a sibling-like relationship. Also the age difference as kids or maybe even Teens (f.e. Robin 16 to Franky 22) could be a bit much in some opinions. But if there was a timeframe in which they haven’t seen each other it would be a different case too. Again that is for everyone to decide. 

Because if they met at an older age, as in Robin only came to Water Seven as a teen, I could see a crush becoming ‘more’ in later years. But that is again something everyone has to make up with themselves. 

I just had the thought that Franky would basically become the middle child... there are very weird cliches about that... I mean I’m the middle child and I’m the one who is most well behaved so........ take that how you like XD

Anyway I’m sure that Robin would have experienced a very supportive family but the WG might have caught her depending on how exactly the whole situation of Toms capture would have went down. And... no matter how I look at it the drama and heartbreak would be even worse. Franky would still try to stop the Seatrain because he is that kind of idiot. 

Robin could have left or stayed in W7 too if she was not caught at that moment too.  If she stays with Iceburg, who would do what he did in canon, become a well renown carpenter and shipbuilder and then ultimately the major of Water Seven, she could become his secretary and when Franky later returns and the whole plot of CP9 takes place... it wouldn’t have gone slightly different.

Also it would have been harder on Iceburg if his little sister would try to kill him, I guess Franky would still not have believed her doing  that... mostly Robin would have done it to... not do it. Just faking Iceburgs death to save him and Robin giving herself up to safe her small family. Ultimately the story would still go the same. Both Franky and Robin joining the Strawhats. 

A good example as to what could happen if Robin joined W7 as a teen is this great fanfiction: [FROBIN AU: A Long Way From Home by PaintMeTheSky] ( @warluigi ) Other possibilities would be that Robin is caught with Tom too, which would be kind of dark. 

Or she runs away. Both storylines can then be tracked towards the canon and so create a nice package.  

Let’s have a short look at Robin coming to W7 as an adult without the Strawhats. To fit into canon it needs to happen before her meeting Crocodile or maybe she left Crocodile in between. Either way she would probably arrive there to get information. The more interesting part is does she arrive before or after CP9. 

I figured that if CP9 wasn’t around yet she would bring herself in a position that gives her more access to informations, basically making her Iceburgs secretary or opening a bar. She would steal the position of either Kalifa (bringing her nearer to Iceburg) or Blueno (bringing her nearer to Franky). 

Either way chances are she is found by CP9 anyway, bringing the plot back on track. 

Another interesting idea is Robin arriving after CP9 and so going underground, aligning herself with the Franky Family. 

---

That all is a short sketch of what possibilities there are. If any of you want to get inspiration from that feel free to do so. Again, if you want me to add anything or if you want to add something yourself ask for access or send me your ideas. I welcome the inspiration :) 

Sorry for any mistakes! 

And I hope I could answer your question anon. Again, sorry for the long wait! 

[shoeshoecin]

I recently requested a prayer from Skippy when my mothers was seriously ill. Skippy and Brewster both contributed to the prayer and they really got through me through difficult times. We buried my mother aka Nana today and we all said goodbye. My daughter read her this letter at the funeral today and I wanted to share it with you. I never post on tumblr I enjoy all #megxit posts and appreciate your insight and research regarding MM.

Dear Nana,

​The last time that we talked you told me that you don’t like funerals. When I asked, “why?”, you said, “at funerals people just say a bunch of nice stuff about the person that everyone knows wasn’t really true.” To that I ensured you that people only have nice things to say about you because you are simply the best. Although, you didn’t seem convinced, but you can put your fears to rest because I promise I am only going to say things that are 100% honest.

​On the topic of honesty, you are the most honest person I have ever met. A bit brutally honest actually. For example, I remember coming back from the beach one day and you asked me if I gained the “freshman 15” after going away to college. A bit perplexed by your sudden question, I replied, “umm..I don’t really know, I haven’t weighed myself…why? Do you think I’ve gained weight?” You said, “well yeah. You look like you’ve gained some weight. Maybe not a full 15...maybe more like 5 or 10. You still look good though.” Even though that probably wasn’t what I was looking to hear while I stood in the kitchen in my bikini, I can appreciate the honesty. Another example of your honestly was the time that I painted you a watercolor painting of a cat (because I know how much you love cats). I was so excited to give it to you after working on it all night, and when I presented it to you, you look one look and said, “what happened to the tail? The tail is too short it looks like something happened to it.” I said, “oh yeah, I guess the tail is a little short, but do you like it?” You replied to my hopeful question with, “well, it’d be nicer if the tail was longer, but I’ll still hang it up.” Yup, you are definitely not scared to speak your mind. If I ever need an ego check, you know where I’ll be. With that being said, despite the small blows to my self esteem, I’ve always admired your honesty as it was quite refreshing and always consistent.

​Speaking of consistency, you are one of the very few people that I can always count on to be consistent. For example, everyone always looks forward to going to Nana’s for dinner because everything you bake or cook is always amazing. From your angel hair pasta, to your lima beans, to your brownies, zucchini bread, pies and magical (almost too perfect) assortment of Christmas cookies every year, everything you make is always consistently delicious. Even from the youngest age, I always knew that I could look forward to dinner and dessert at Nana’s. You are also extremely consistent when it comes to buying anything marketed as “NEW!” I know that if I walk into your kitchen there will always be a package of the newest limited edition of Oreos sitting there…unopened. Even your response to the question, “Nana why did you buy these?” was consistently, “it’s new!” You’ve never failed to tell me how much you dislike the fact that my jeans are ripped and I actually bought them like that. I can always expect to see clean clothes perfectly hanging on the clothes line in the yard. You consistently wear Keds and cashmere sweaters while eating a sticky bun from the bakery in the morning. You are also pretty consistent with feeding the dog at family parties even when my mom and Johnny Z asked everyone not to. Watching you feed Marsden huge chunks of cheese and crackers under the table right after being asked not to always made me laugh. You always keep a pitcher of iced tea in the fridge, fresh peaches on the counter, and mint chocolate chip ice cream in your freezer (never the white mint though because according to you the white mint does not taste the same as the green mint ice cream, and you will not eat the white mint). I’m really glad that mint chocolate chip is your favorite flavor of ice cream, because it’s my favorite too.

Sometimes I wonder where I got my sweet tooth, but if you’ve ever stayed up past midnight with Nana, you would know that the timeframe of 12 am to 3 am is filled with candy, sour cream and onion chips, popsicles, Cheetos, and ice cream sundaes. People always think that you don’t eat very much, but you and I both know that they just don’t stay up late enough to witness the late night snacking that happens over a game of scrabble, while baggage or family feud is playing on the TV. These late nights have been some of my favorite memories over the years, and you always gave your best advice during these times. For example, I vividly remember one summer night at age 16. I was on my second bowl of what was now melted mint ice cream and losing pretty bad at a game of scrabble. To make matters worse, all the letters I was left with were all vowels and my mind drifted to the break up I had earlier that day. Shockingly, I began to cry for probably the 7th time that day, and you said, “Oh god what are you crying for? You should be happy. Now you can play the field. Playing the field is much more fun than having just one boyfriend.” Like I said, you always give the best advice.

As I’m thinking about all the advice you’ve given me, I am reminded of all the other things that you’ve shown and taught me. For example, thanks to you, I know what its like to walk into a room with a celebrity. I remember it like it was yesterday, one rainy night my mom and I drove down to play a game of bingo with you. When we walked in the door, I was immediately stopped and questioned by the tight security who asked to see my ID because I apparently looked “12” – which would be a no-go considering that apparently the bingo staff takes the age restrictions of bingo very seriously. Just as I was about to show the security my proof of ID to confirm that I was in fact above the age of 18, you came to our rescue. A simple, “they’re with me,” and all of a sudden we were treated like royalty and all further questions turned into staff members offering us refreshments. I learned something else that night too. It was brought to my attention that my mom and I are really bad at bingo, like really bad. It’s a good thing that you were there to inform us that our cards were upside down and we had been playing the game completely wrong for the first half hour. By the end of the four-hour bingo game, you were playing all of our cards for us alongside the 20 that you had laid out in front of you, while my mom and I resorted to eating gummy bears and counting the number of sneezes for every minute that went by. Watching you play bingo was honestly an honor because that takes a level of skill I most definitely did not inherit. When I think about you, I think about good times like these, and how honored I am to be your granddaughter.

Although above all, when I think about you, I think about how strong you are. A particular moment of strength was the time that you broke your hip on the fourth of July. Most people would probably be crying or at least deeply concerned with the physical pain they were experiencing, but you were much more concerned with the deviled eggs that were in your hands when you fell along with who was going to make the pie if you went to the hospital. Unfortunately for us, the blueberry pie was left in the hands of Uncle Jeff…and I’m just gonna go ahead and say, your concerns were all too valid. To be honest I’ve always thought about my mom and wondered how she became such a strong, independent, and amazing woman, but now I can clearly see that its because she always had you to look up to. And I want to thank you for being someone that I could also always look up to. Thank you for teaching me all about the virtue of honesty. Thank you for being someone I could always consistently depend on to be there. Thank you for all of the late night chats and all of your priceless advice. Thank you for passing on your love of baking and sharing a sweet tooth with me. Thank you for gracing me with the honor of learning how to play bingo from a real pro. Thank you for showing me what a strong, kind, and beautiful woman looks like. Thank you for everything.

I started this letter by referencing the last time we we had the chance to talk. You explained why you don’t like funerals because of the apparent lack of honesty. Well, I hope this letter delivered the kind of authenticity that you were hoping for because I just have one last thing that I would like to revisit. In that same conversation, after we had discussed the flaws within funerals, I told you that I love you. You replied by saying, “aw I love you too, and I hope that I can love you from heaven. I think I can.” Your response to my statement was one that I will never forget. So, I just want to say that I will always love you, no matter where you are. Thank you for being you.

Love,

Ella

[nosferatyou]

Double Indemnity: Ch.1 (Josh Kiszka x Reader)

Summary: After an incident their freshman year they could barely stand to look at each other. Now it’s their senior year and are grouped together for their final project. What could go wrong?

Warnings: Cursing

WC: 2.3k

Authors note: Well. I flipped into Josh’s lane and thought of this sucker and couldn’t get it out of my head. After I heard the story behind the writers of “Double Indemnity” I just had to make this. Heres to me hopefully finishing a series! Enjoy!

Let’s go back to the day when I “met” Josh Kiszka and when I actually met Josh.

It was the summer before my freshman year of college, and at that point, film sets weren’t a stranger to me. But I sure didn’t have the experience that most of the already film majors around me had. I was roped in by my long time friend Jack who I hadn’t spoken to since graduation, but due to the circumstances, he needed as many crew members as possible. He had 2 days to write, shoot, and cut together a short film. I was a PA (production assistant) and was frantically running around helping in any way I could. I was smart enough to stay out of the way and speak up when needed.

 I met most of the crew except one, the cinematographer/camera op, who was the busiest on set. The exception being Jack, who was the director. I heard the camera OP was only there because he had the nicest camera, but my mind may have tainted what I heard about him that day.

With only an hour to spare we had finished the film. All of us dehydrated and starving, sleep-deprived too. I was cradling a horrendous migraine from the lack of water and was ready to leave before someone suggested we go to Cookout. Which is arguably the best food at 3 am. 

Against my will, I was dragged to the fast-food restaurant with the rest of the crew. At that point, I was barely conscious and sat in the back seat of Jack’s car. The stranger cinematographer who I hadn’t noticed was next to me until he tapped my shoulder. With a concerned look, asked me if I was okay and needed anything. Which was nice of him considering we’d never spoken. 

After the short exchange of words, he never seemed to fully leave my side. May it be his glances from across the table with the same concerned look, or him bring me cups of water, which I still don’t remember him getting up for. 

After that night it would be months until I see him again. 

I didn’t expect him to be in my Post Production class, but I was definitely happy to see him. It was my first day of classes and to see a familiar face was a nice change of pace compared to whirlwind of a day. Though it wasn’t too long after that that my feelings for him changed.

If you’re a film student you’re going to edit a Gunsmoke fight scene, it is basically a right of passage. Anyways I was an experienced editor and of course, was going to cut the fight scene to the beat of an Ennio Morricone song. If we were going to work on a western scene then Ennio was a must. 

 I was damn proud of my work, I seemed to be one of the best editors in the class, josh being right there with me. We didn’t exchange many words, but we kept each other company by simply sitting next to each other. 

Then came the critique day, when everyone watches your video and gives you notes. Usually its never good notes.

 After our class watched it everyone had a lot to say, mostly over small slip-ups I didn’t notice, that’s normal. Josh’s video was next and the moment the music played I was livid, he had used the same exact song, even cut it the same way I did. The worst part was that no one had anything bad to say about it, all good comments. I kept it contained, for the most part. I didn’t verbally say anything, but my constant tapping and dirty looks in his direction said otherwise. I don’t think he’d noticed.

I waited until everyone left and simply gave him a piece of my mind. Maybe I snapped at him… either way, it led to us getting into our first screaming match. Josh saying he “didn’t” copy my video and me disagreeing. I honestly don’t remember how it ended, but I do remember us getting kicked out of the building for it. 

Anyways that was three years ago, and we still hate each other. Yet here we are still in all the same classes, but the difference is we have silent warfares. Constantly competing with each other, showing each other our higher grades, and besting each other’s videos. I can barely stand to hear him talk anymore, but I do have to say. He knows how to make a good line. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Even with the cold chill of the November air prickling my skin and the wind whipping my hair, my mood couldn’t be damped. Maybe “chill” is an understatement. Living in “The City by the Lake” aka Chicago brings on the harshest of winters, and as crazy as it seems, I always weirdly miss it when I go back to Michigan. Sure it has it’s many feet of snow, but Chicago makes the wind weirdly dazzling. 

This is my last coffee, I’ll switch to tea. Is something I say every morning when I get up before classes, but here I am again, with an out of place cold brew in hand and a raging caffeine addiction. In hindsight, it is better than my previous vice, cigarettes, but the headaches it brings on is just as bad as missing a cig. My one hand shoved in my pocket and the other is clutching the same cold brew as before. I may have said that I couldn’t be bothered by the weather, but I’m not immune. 

As soon as I enter Columbia’s Media Production building everything becomes flush with warmth. Its a bit uncomfortable really. I remove my gloves and quickly checked my phone, affirming that I’m right on time as always. As I stroll through the halls I tune more into the music, enjoying my free time. There is just something about Chet Baker and Chicago that just mixes so well. 

Todays a good day though, it marks my one year of quitting cigs. Did I mention that I quit? Because I quit. Anyways my roommate made a big deal out of it, I also figured out the coolest riff, I’m kind of shit at making music out of thin air so it’s a big day. 

After taking the long way to my Directing class (Cinema Directing III if you want to get technical) I finally made it to the small class. Most of the class was there, luckily for me my two-year seat partner, Gwen, was already there, waiting where she always does. We met in our Single Cam 1 class and have been inseparable since, well actually Gwen, Cora (the previously mentioned roommate), and I have been inseparable ever since. 

I made my way to my usual seat and peeled my overworn leather bomber jacket off, already feeling more comfortable. Slumping back in my chair I lazily grabbed my sketchbook and pencil out of my bag. Its become a kind of habit to draw my professors and classmates every day, something is just so fascinating about their compositions. I got to work on Gwen who was hunched over, focusing on her book in front of her. I got to work and as soon as I finished up on the basic shapes she quickly sat up, focusing on me. 

“You ready for the final project?” She questioned, stealing my coffee in the process.

“I’ve been working on a few ideas already, but then again I don’t know the assignment yet. I do know I will be grabbing the usual 4 of you the moment he says “groups.”

“Heres to hoping we can pick- Oh!” She almost spilled my coffee when she interrupted herself. 

“I forgot to text you! Happy one year of being ciggy free!” She exclaimed, handing me back the bottle.

I took a swig from the bottle when she gave it back. “Well thank you, darling. I feel like having clean lungs shouldn’t be such an achievement, but I guess here we are.”

“Be proud! Besides gives us a reason to head to Jerry’s.”

“We’d celebrate over anything if it meant going to Jerry’s and getting pissed.” I smirked at her.

“Well. You got me there. Anyways you are right, we will be getting drunk out of our minds tonight. Bless the man who decided to open a bar directly next to your apartment building.” She said, with a playful smile on her lips.

“Bless him indeed.” I laughed. 

At that moment I locked eyes with none other than the aforementioned, Josh Kiszka. It’s oddly enough what we do every time we see each other. Which is more often than I think both of us care for. But seeing him roll his eyes every time I glare at him is kind of fun. 

I followed him with my eyes as he sat down in his seat, instantly sticking his nose in- wait what is he reading? I focused and realized he was reading the screenplay for Tarantino’s “Reservoir Dogs.” Where the hell did he even get that? 

My eyes snapped up to the professor when I realized he started class.

“Alright, I’m just going to jump into this. Today we start on your final projects, and I think it’ll be very fun. A challenge for sure, but fun nonetheless.”

I slipped a sly smile to Gwen, already thinking of the best ideas in my arsenal to use.

“In groups, you all will be recreating a favorite film, but it should max be 20 minutes long. Now that’ll be your job to rewrite and format it so you can fit in the timeframe. Oh, and I swear to god if another person does Pulp Fiction I will actually scream. You can hold me to that.”

Oh Jesus okay this will be hard as hell, I guess something with a simpler plot will be easy. Ooh, or something that’s so overcomplicated I can rewrite it so it’s simpler. What’s something that’d be good for Gwen, she’s a good actress, but she can only play so much-

“I already have your groups picked out let me just put them up on the board.” My professor said, searching for the list on his computer.

Oh god. He’s never done this. We always pick groups. If Gwen and I aren’t grouped together I may just riot. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him drag the document over to the screen, so I quickly directed my attention to it.

I searched all of the lists, finally finding my name at the top of group four. Rob, Eric, and- Oh shit Gwen! Wait. There’s one more. The moment I saw the J I knew exactly who it was. My eyes darted over to Josh’s seat and had the same look I could only guess that was on my face. We both glared at each other, if we stared any harder we’d burn holes in each other.

“Motherfucker!” I whispered to Gwen, trying not to raise my voice.

“What? We are in the same group.” she looked back over to me with confusion on her face. She followed my eyes to the equally angry man across the room from me.

“Oh, shit..”

“Oh shit is right! I can’t work with that guy, I swear to god… Damn it, I can’t think of an insult! Quick help me!” I stammered out, you could practically see the steam coming out of my ears.

“Um... You can’t work with that Frodo look alike?” She suggested, both of us whispering to each other now,

“I’ll take it. I can’t work with that Frodo look alike! He’s just gonna take all of my good ideas and throw them into the lava like that fucking ring. Wait is it Frodo or sam who throws it? Know what, I don’t care. Look at what he’s making me forget important plot points in movies. I can’t work with someone who hinders my thinking process.” 

“First off, Gollum falls in with the ring in hand. Secondly, drink your coffee and focus on what movie we should do. Suggest something so good so fast that it’ll make his head spin.”

She put the almost empty coffee in my hands and I took a swig, still glancing back at josh, making the same face. 

Gwen started to ramble on, her words in the back of my mind. All I could focus on was wanting to be in any other group than his, even Leonard. He refuses to watch a Tarantino film, and simply because he thinks he’s beyond that. Leonard is someone I talk to if only necessary.

 I tuned back in to hear. “I mean if you think about it, as much as you and Josh are to Frodo and the Ring. You’re more like Billy Wilder and Ray Chandler. I mean they hated each other, but damn if they weren’t good writers. Plus, they respect a good line-”

Inspiration was swept over me. I knew exactly what we had to do. Before I knew what was happening my feet carried themself over to Josh’s seat. Same as before, we both had the same expression, except this time it was one of surprise. 

“Double Indemnity!” I blurted out a bit too loudly.

He seemed even more confused. “Double insurance money?” He questioned.

“Fuck. No. It’s the film we are going to make. It’s a fantastic idea, and it’s happening. Not even you can argue with me!” I sped out.

He sat for a moment in thought, his brows furrowed together and a cliche hand positioned on his chin. 

“Fine.” Is all he said, his arms were crossed. He seemed defeated.

I simply turned on my heel and headed back to my seat. An overexcited grin plastered to my face. 

[helihi]

The Good, the Bad, and the Dirty: RWBY Vol7 Ep 6

Why did they have to do my baby Penny dirty like that.

Overall rating: 8.5/10 ⭐ *updated*

(Spoilers Ahead)

The Good

Let’s praise once more the length of the episode. I’m so glad it took this long for the chaos to be set off: it allowed the characters to get settled after what happened last season and get more aware of their surroundings before engaging in a new battle. Aside from that, the participants of this conflict have been well established, even if Cinder isn’t in sight.

The main aspect of this episode was the politics of Mantle, with a seat of The Council being up in the air for grabs. The two most important candidates: Robyn Hill, the defender of Mantle, and Jacques Schnee, local shit head and abusive capitalist.

Despite the obvious results of the night (which I predicted the moment Jacques’ candidacy was disclosed), what I want to focus on was the framing of the night. At the beginning of the episode Robyn is hopeful about the future of Mantle, and sends a good message for the people of her city, while Jacques Schnee had done the complete opposite before. This proves Robyns true passion for her people.

After establishing that, the gang asks Ironwood why he isn’t more open with Robyn about what’s actually going on. Here’s the thing: not only is Robyn not an official member of the government, disclosing such information to a party which hasn’t proved their worth or loyalty to Ironwood is risky, especially considering they don’t trust him.

Of course getting Robyn’s aid would have been the best move, but politically speaking, they didn’t think it was necessary. To them, the election would blow over and things would continue to be tense, but that’s just senseless. I say this as someone who has experience elections in many countries, and let me tell you, the feeling of dread before the results get shown and after are very powerful.

When we were first shown the results as 30%-70% with Robyn winning, I knew paying attention to those numbers would be important. After all, it’s easier to hack and switch a 49 to 51, but not a 30 to a 50 in a blink. I’ve seen it happen in my home country. I was proven right as the episode continued.

The lights went out, Watts told Tyrian *hacker voice* I’m in, and did something more than just change the results, he framed Penny for Tyrian’s massacre and will release a video editing his accomplice out in favor of Penny, once again framing Atlas’ n Ironwood’s forces behind the targeted attack to Robyn.

Thankfully, not only Ruby saw Tyrian, but Fiona did as well since she’s a Faunus. Hopefully, she will remain alive and give Robyn the information she needs to agree to work with Ruby and the gang. In the worst case scenario, Ironwood will face a coup or will be forced out of office and will join Robyn and the kiddos.

To the audience, the villains have been set, and the only one with power to change their views would be Robyn, but even that would be hard.

Aside from that, I wanna say the bees are not subtle at all when flirting and Weiss “I’m not third-wheeling” Schnee made the right choice.

Ren has been distant for Nora in a similar way that Blake was distant from everyone else while the White Fang was near. I hope our poor son doesn’t blame himself for what happened at the party. He needs to keep his loved one close at times of crisis. 7 volumes and we got the remora kiss fuck ye.

Aside from praising those small moments of trainings and genuine interactions between the characters (which makes the feel more alive), I wanna say that the little exchange between the Happy Huntresses and Marrow was very interesting. You can feel how uncomfortable Marrow feels, he’s definitely going to be the first one to join them later.

My brother made 3 comments regarding this episode:

Penny is a robot, she is supposed to mimic feelings, do not ship an ace!Ruby with a robot. To which I told him: “How dare you insult our baby, Penny is a real girl. Though I understand the problematic aspect to ace characters being paired with robots”.

It’d be really cool if Winter died and Weiss got the maiden’s power instead. To which I responded to with: “the fuck is wrong with you”.

He really liked that one of the Happy Huntresses’ voice actress is a trans woman.

The Bad

Look at Jacques Schnee’s candidate photo, u know he a villain.

The Dirty

Okay, so originally I forgot to point this out: Penny was hacked by Watts. He made sure she was unable to detect Tyrian, thus, protecting him and making easier for her to be framed since there was no one else apprehended.

Ironwood previously stated that someone from inside Atlas hacked the bots and ships during the Fall of Beacon, this person was Watts, who faked his death. However, we don’t know if Watts did this before or after the Fall of Beacon, and this is very important because it possibly creates a plot hole:

If Watts faked his death before Cinder’s attack, he shouldn’t have access to Pietro’s modifications to Penny, or at least, it would be ridiculous if a scientist like Pietro did not update Penny’s system after what happened during the Vytal Festival.

If Watts fakes his death after the Fall of Beacon, then he could’ve have access to Pietro’s modifications and him hacking Penny wouldn’t be problematic. But given the timeframe (considering Watts is living with Salem by volume 4), it’s suspicious that this is the order of the events.

What are your thoughts regarding this?

--

Overall rating: 8.5/10

AN: Another episode, another week without Klein. Also, turns out you have to kill 4 or more people to be considered a mass murderer.

[dwollsadventures]

TDG Prologue 1 - Coins

Here it is. The revised introduction to the TDG's world. I've been fretting over it for about a week now, but I'm going on a camping trip without the internet for a few days. So, I thought now would be a good time to put it up here, before I can worry about it even more. I have a real problem in that I tend to overthink and over-edit my own work. Chances are I may do that again, or just choose not to read it anymore and hope for the best. Either way, more is to come. After the camping trip though.

In the year 1961 Stan Freberg released his musical comedy album Stan Freberg Presents the United States of America Volume One: The Early Years. In one scene the crew of Christopher Columbus argued with their captain over the shape of the earth. They believed it was a flat sort of disc, to which Columbus disagreed. Their argument occurred in musical act titled “It’s a Round, Round World”.

Little did Mr. Freberg (nor Christopher Columbus) know, there were people who whole-heartedly sided with the crew of Santa Maria. The Flat-Earth movement posits that certain models of Earth’s shape, making it like a flat disc with a defined edge, are correct and everything that came after was designed to suppress the intellectual minds of the modern era. At least, some do. Others believe in a more cylindrical shape, or a half-sphere, or a spherical snowball on which the flat disc of earth lies atop. Flat-Earthers have always been splintered and argumentative.

They are also wrong.

Almost anyone can tell you the facts; that very few people from the past really believed in a flat-earth; that the Egyptians accounted for the curvature of the earth in their architecture; that Columbus was not worried about falling off the edge and simply looking for India and that incidentally he was not the first European to discover the Americas and was also a genocidal slave-owner.

Almost no-one talks about the chilling hypothetical of living on a flat planet. That if the earth really were a flat disc, it would be the same shape as a coin. Meaning, if some enormous cosmic hand were to be about the place, it would not be able to resist picking Earth up and flipping it, to see which side it lands on.

Would the Earth make that same, satisfyingly metal sound a coin does as it flies through the air?

Flip, flip, flip.

The one thing the flat-earthers got right was that, regardless of shape, the Earth is like a coin. Like all coins it has two sides and an edge.

On one side we have the world we’re all familiar with. The one we live in, where people go places and do things all the time with no rhyme or reason. Atoms spin around each other and molecules react to one another. The earth is just one tiny dot in the middle of a huge, mostly empty universe. Despite this, money and religion rule it, both fueling the fires of complex political dramas across the world. It’s the world that appears in textbooks, news articles, scientific journals, and before your very eyes.

Then there’s the other side. Other is a good word for it, as some have called it the Otherworld. It bears a resemblance to the one above but is exaggerated: the shadows are darker, the seas are deeper, the earth is older. One might be mistaken and say it is a world of religion; in actuality it is the world where the subjects and objects of religion dwell. The beings that live here are part of the world itself. Most gods are after all anthropomorphic representations of nature. Whereas on the other side humans are insignificant because of its grandness, here humans are simultaneously powerful and powerless. It’s a world of converse realities, where someone can be in two places at the same time or be two different people and one again. Here the rules of physics and reason take a backseat to narrative. If there is a monster (and this world is full of monsters) there will inevitably be a hero to slay it. It is the world of myth and mystery which appears in holy books and ancient poems.

Separation is a part of their nature. No hunter has ever killed a unicorn. No story alone has ever built an empire. The first side is far too complicated. The second is much too unrealistic.

This separation does not define them, however. Neither would exist without the other.

Just as you cannot have a coin with one side, you cannot have thunder without Thor, or Thor without thunder. Were you to isolate either of those sides into a world of its own, it would be a world stripped of meaning.

Why should anyone care about a god of thunder had not thunder existed? Why should anyone care about the concussive sound wave produced by the rushing in of air into a channel at high speeds? No one could live in such a world. Symbols without meaning are just scribbles on rock. Atoms and molecules cannot sustain a world alone. The other world is a reflection of the first; there can’t be an other without an us. The real world can’t exist without the unreal. Or rather, it can, but it would be a world devoid of laws and language, mercy and justice, inspiration and innovation, right and wrong.

Humans may have created the gods, but it was the gods that made them human.

There was a time when these two worlds were as one. It was a vague, ephemeral time. It didn’t exist in the same way, say, the Jurassic Period existed. The Greeks called it the Heroic Age, when gods and heroes walked the earth. The Australians called it the Dreamtime. Other, less concrete timeframes, such as the vague Creation of many stories, or the period in time where Adam and Eve inhabited the Garden of Eden also call back to this time. It was a time when gods and mortals freely communicated. There was no separation of the two. People could go to the otherworld (or the underworld) as they pleased so long as they obeyed the rules. The two sides intermingled and, sometimes, intermarried.

Then, something happened. The two sides became separated by the coin’s edge. This new edge was only as thick as strength of one’s belief. For many it was good enough. For some it was too much. In an age when gods could not be seen, heard, felt, or fought, it was as if they never existed at all.

For all of those on the other side, it was as if a one-sided window was placed between them. They did as they always did, pulling around the sun, visiting vengeance upon neighbors, answering questions and plights, etc., etc. There just wasn’t any response back. So, they worked back into a cycle, as the supernatural is wont to do. Waiting. Some waited for a very long time. Their names were no longer spoken and their people were scattered into the dust. Things from that world never die, not in the way the real world can. All they can do is sleeplessly drift off into an unconscious state and perform the duties they’ve always done. Waiting for the time to wake up.

The two sides drifted farther and farther apart for many years. In some places people never really left their gods and their spirits and demons. With time, they became a very small minority. Now priests can preach their sermons every Sunday comfortably far away from the floods of Noah and Sodom’s fires. Fairytale books are printed en masse in factories free of rickets-infested changelings and worrying encounters deep in the night. A thousand knights slay a thousand dragons on a thousand screens while the audience never loses a wink of sleep over crops turning to black mush, or poison running deep into the wells beneath their feet.

For most the other side is as real as a myth. Which is exactly what it is.

Until it isn’t. As the laws of probability will tell you, given enough time, every coin will come up the wrong side. And so, we get to the end of the world.

Apocalypse narratives aren’t as common as one might think. The ones that did get them got them right though. In beliefs of Judgement Day, according to the Christians, the unbelievers will be thrown together and judged with scrutiny. Ragnarök says that after a final war between humans, the divine war will kill the survivors and destroy the world. A hole in a coin obscures both sides.

The edge is ripped off. Without it, the two sides become one. No longer is there any distance between them, belief no longer determines whether or not the other are real or unreal, they exist regardless. Those few left alive after the war will perish after this final revelation.

[leakinghate]

All I need to know is WHY? Why did they do this?

I’ve gotten more than a few asks with this question, and I assure you: if I knew I’d tell you. But, this is the big question, and I do have a theory. So here we go.

I’m sorry. I was hesitant to publish this. Some of you aren’t going to like this answer.

I want to stress that this is all simply my opinion, a theory. It’s my best guess as to ‘Why’ when taking into account all the evidence currently available. Please do not take this as absolute truth, and please do not harass anyone who disagrees with it or thinks differently.

If you’re just here to tell me I’m wrong and that kl is/was supposed to be ‘canon king’ I’m simply going to delete your message: consider this your warning and stop reading. To my friends that ship kl: I’m sorry, this isn’t an attack on your ship, I just don’t think it was going to be canon.

To start with: was the censorship, and the vile messages it resulted in, intentional?

No. I don’t think so.

I did at first, but after mulling it over a bit more, I’ve changed my mind on that.

Thing is? This is so disgustingly callous, that for it to have been intentional, whoever was responsible would have to be a monster. No, this wasn’t done by a creative. Someone who understands stories wouldn’t have made something this sloppy. The people who made this call are the sorts who mistake symbols as content, like a kiss with an unnamed extra as representation.

This has the cold dispassionate stink of marketing all over it.

I think this was about the toys.

Voltron was always a Toy™ property. When VLD was put into production they sold the toy rights to the same company that made the toys back in the 80′s, and that company turned out some updated versions of the toys they’d made back then. I don’t doubt DW was banking on moving a good deal of merch with bankrolling VLD. Unfortunately for them, this isn’t the 80′s anymore; they completely missed the mark on their actual audience right out of the gate and were then hamstrung by the rights contract which they either had to wait to expire or buy out before trying again.

Dreamworks’ marketing department has no idea how to handle a show like VLD, with a fanbase like this. VLD was nominally aimed at boys age 7-ish, but the fanbase it attracted was Fandom: overwhelmingly female and minority viewers in their mid teens and older.The people who wrote VLD understood this; the people who financed it didn’t. The market for toys has changed, and the same cheap plastic, ugly, poorly made figures aren’t going to cut it anymore.

They tried to switch track and market to the adult fans while they waited for the toy rights to return to them, but this attempt was manifested as jewelry. Very expensive jewelry.

A second misstep.

By now we’re sometime between June and August, VLD is 2/3rds aired, rapidly approaching Season 7, has a ravenous and toxic fanbase, and has completely failed to turn a profit. Extra money was already pumped into the show for rewrites to season 7 to include characters to base a spin off around (this happened circa s2′s airing, when the show suddenly got huge and popular - so when s7 was in the early stages of animation), but with things as they are it’s looking like that’s going to be a waste of an investment.

So they brought in some marketing people to look it over and advise changes to make the show more profitable. Season 7 is coming too fast for any but the most minor of changes, Season 8 is either completely finished or very near so. There’s no time to re-script, re-animate, re-record.

They took a look at what was coming in the final season, and they took a look into the fandom. What could be adjusted in this tiny timeframe, with the fewest amounts of edits and alterations, to appeal to the maximum amount of the audience?

They ordered adjustments accordingly.

I think it started out as marketing, but the things marketing advised, and that were ultimately enforced, amounted to censorship.

What is the loudest, most prominent, most obnoxious group of fans?What fans disrupted not one, but two con question panels with inane queries about their favorite character not being enough of a ‘hero’?

Look at what we did get. The stuff that came out of nowhere and made no sense: a//urance as endgame, Altean Lance - with marks the exact colors that the fanarts use (even though they don’t match his color scheme), a heavily Lance based season - and one in which Lance is the recipient of constant praise and encouragement, Shiro and Keith acting like they barely know each other, Lotor the only explicitly unredeemed villain, Lance and Keith both ending the series single with Lance very clearly no longer pursuing romance with women, Shiro married and unavailable.

They couldn’t make kl*nce canon, because the copyright holders of the legacy characters wouldn’t approve of it. What they could do was what they did. Removing all the Shiro and Keith scenes, giving Lance the girl. Making Lance the central focus of the final season. Langst.

Lance and Keith are the only two characters who have extensive personal scenes this season.

Allura and Lotor were casualties of making Lance the hero; because marketing advised DW to appeal to the lowest common denominator fan.

But these marketers are outsiders, and don’t really understand fandom. because this wasn’t what fandom wanted at all.

This is what I think. I think this is kl*ntis by way of marketing.

All the absolutely disgusting messages? Were an accident. A byproduct of removing the intended subversions. Whoever did this wasn’t very smart, and hadn’t realized the depth of story the writers were telling.

So when they switched it, and kept Lance with Allura, they played the intended subversion straight. But because it was intended to be subverted, it’d been written a little obviously regressive. To make it obvious. So we could pick up on it. So it would feel right when it was subverted.

But it wasn’t.

So Lance didn’t get to grow.

And Allura and Lotor didn’t get to live.

This is why I’m convinced that there’s a real s8 out there to get.

The good news in this, is that if I’m right - if this was ultimately a decision designed to appeal to the fans - then there’s a really good chance that DreamWorks will release the real s8. Whereas, if it was intentional censorship, then the chances would be very low.

Big companies like DreamWorks listen to three things: Profit, PR, and Personal Beliefs. The hardest one to combat is the last, so if we can rule it out we’re in a much better position. And I think we can. It’s very difficult for fans to make change with Profit, because we are so small individually, and because in this particular case they already weren’t making any money off VLD.So our best avenue of attack is PR. If we make a lot of noise about the toxic messages the altered season is sending, and remember to keep shipping out of it, we can convince them to release the original cut. They want us to shut up? They have two options: wait for the interest to die down, or give us what we want. We need to prove that we’re not going away.The future stretches ever onward; they need to ignore us for eternity.

All we need is one single, solitary yes.

[allyhq]

TIMEFRAME: June 10th, evening.

LOCATION: The apartment.

TAGGING: Brady Clarington & Stevie Evans. ( @therealstevee )

WARNINGS: None, just dumb boys and some lowkey feels later.

“Dude, if you’re gonna make shitty videos can you at least not be in my room to do it? ‘Cause only one of us is gonna have to edit all the shit out of it when you’re done.” Not that Brady was actually going to sleep or anything like that. He just liked giving Stevie a hard time, and no doubt did so more than anyone else. He sat up in his bed, reaching up and running a hand through his hair. “And if you try to put me in this vlog I will end you. And your career.”

Stevie lowered his phone just slightly, but didn’t stop recording. “Uh, excuse you. Fired.” He zoomed in towards Brady’s face and grinned to himself before finally stopping it completely. “How dare you call my videos shitty. ‘Just okay’, yeah. But shitty? I thought we were friends.” Stevie came over and let himself fall heavily on the bed beside him, the phone still in hand. “Come on, just one sec for the thumbnail. Let everyone see that bedhead look you got goin’ on, you’ll gain like a thousand followers in like ten seconds.” He raised the phone up, camera pointed towards them, but he didn’t press record just yet. He was mostly giving him a hard time, but he wasn’t gonna film him without his permission. “Let me be the camera man just this once.”

“Bro, I’m about to roll you right onto the floor.” He thought he could just sit on Brady’s bed, in Brady’s own room and disrespect him like this? Unbelievable. “Jeez, fine, put me in the freaking vlog.” He paused. “But for the record, you’re way overestimating your instagram power and I think the universe knows that.” He waited until Stevie started recording, and then Brady reflexively threw up a peace sign at the camera. “Sup fam? Tell ya boy to stop harassing me in my safe space.

“Sounds fun bro, but you don’t have to hurt me. I’m clean; I showered.” Stevie defended himself lightly, truly not thinking that there was any issue with him being there. In fact, he scooted up further on the bed after he’d kicked his shoes off, getting far enough to sit up next to him. He wasn’t thinking about invading his space at all, although he made a mental note to bring him a Starbucks later on for putting up with his ideas. “You’re underestimating our fans. I’ve gotten a buncha DM’s about them wanting to see us in bed together so I’m just listenin’ to the audience.” At that moment, he held his phone up and hit record. At Brady’s response to the camera, he fake glared in his direction. “Hey! I always let you in my room, that’s not fair. Sorry guys, I’m pretty sure I just woke him up, but uh — here he is. I know you hate me and all Brady, but can we do one Q&A? Please? I might have asked them to send us questions earlier.”

“I don’t think this is exactly what they meant by that.” Though Brady was sure this would be taken out of context once it went live on Stevie’s channel. He’d obviously seen the comments. Stevie never really thought about how stuff like this would be taken, it seemed, but Brady always took note. Not that he’d ever say anything, because he knew the truth so it shouldn’t be a big deal. Brady rolled his eyes, but Stevie had already promised his audience something to look forward to, and Brady wasn’t about to be the asshole that let that all go to waste. “Ugh, fine. But we’re keeping it surface level. Not in the mood for your deep questions.”

Stevie just smiled at that and shrugged. He knew what their followers said about them, and it never bothered him in the slightest. It was always kind of funny to him, and he'd be lying if he said he didn't like the attention his videos brought him. Brady was his best friend, so he never thought twice about joking around with him about it. Brady was straight, so he knew he never took him to heart. "I promise, no deep questions. An' you can cut this out and edit it to make me seem like the bad guy. I owe you after this, dude." He said, his tone almost apologetic, hoping Brady wasn't really upset about it. Quickly, he got into character, clearing his throat dramatically and grinning easily as he held the camera up so they were both in view. "Okay, time for a BRAVIE Q&A." He shook the camera a little in his hand, creating his own sloppy affects. "I'll just do what I remember, sorry if we leave anyone else guys." Stevie squinted as he strained to recall the questions he saw on twitter, and he turned his head towards him. "What's the biggest thing I do that annoys you the most? And you CAN'T say breaking into your room." He wagged his finger in his direction. "That's already obvious.”

Right, he did have the power of editing. Brady liked having control over things in general, which was probably one of the biggest reasons he was ever okay with being in these videos. At the end of the day, he had a huge say in what parts of himself were shown. “The thing that annoys me most?” Brady repeated, thinking about what the best answer would be. “Probably just taking my shit without asking. Like my clothes you wanna borrow or whatever. Like... I know I do the same thing to you, but it still annoys me when you do it.” He shrugged. The least he could be was honest.

Stevie sat up straighter at that, not truly hurt but playing it up for the camera. Sure, okay, he might’ve borrowed things from time to time. He might even be borrowing one of Brady’s shirts right now. But what was so wrong with that? So maybe Stevie's boundaries weren't the greatest, but he never thought it bothered him that much. “So you can take my stuff but I can’t take yours? Well okay.” His brow furrowed as he processed, and he addressed the camera. "If y'all wouldn't mind me borrowing your clothes, like this video. One of you could be my replacement Brady." He joked. "I wasn't asked, but my biggest peeve is when you get mad at me then do the same thing. Like eating the last waffle. How are we even friends?" He teased then waved towards Brady's phone. "Wanna pull up twitter and read off a couple'a questions for me? Your pick."

"Did I say that?" Brady challenged. He and Stevie were always like this, just back and forth banter and picking on each other. He rolled his eyes at Stevie's response, but grinned regardless. "If I eat the last waffle, I replace them. Like, damn dude, I'm not an animal." At Stevie's suggestion, Brady shrugged. "Not really, since this wasn't my idea, but I guess it's kind of expected of me now." He grabbed his phone and went over to Stevie's twitter so he could find the questions. "Uh... okay, while I'm looking why don't you tell me the thing you like about me?"

"You didn't not say it." He replied back, the grin appearing on his face as though second nature. It was always so easy to tease Brady; it'd been that way since they met. "Okay, I'll give you that. It's having to wait for the waffle I don't like --- ya boy gets hungry." He conceded, jokingly. Stevie sat up, almost excited that Brady was finally getting into it. About time. The only thing was that his question caught him off guard, and he looked at him for a moment in thought. It took all he had not to blurt out something dumb like your eyes or your smile or i like the look you give me that i never see you give anyone else. But he had plenty of practice keeping those thoughts quiet, so he immediately shut them down. "I like a lot of things about you, dude. There's a reason you're my freakin' camera man - don't act like you dunno." Stevie said sincerely with a shrug, trying to play it off. "But the thing I like the most?" He considered it briefly. "I like how you never treat me like I'm dumb. Even when I am.  And how you put up with stupid shit like this." Ain't that the truth.  Stevie scooted back some and peeked over his shoulder to read the question's as Brady scrolled. "I'd ask you the same but I feel like I'm pushin' my luck here."

There were few things Brady wouldn't do for a waffle, so he had to give it to Stevie. Dude had a point. "I'll try to make a household announcement when I eat the last one so at least you're aware." And he would certainly remember to yell it at the top of his lungs. Brady pressed his lips into a tight line when Stevie started answering the question, mostly because...well, he didn't really expect it, he supposed. He thought Stevie would have more of a joke answer, and he wasn't prepared for his stomach to sink the way it did, even if it was just Stevie being a good friend and saying something kind about him. "I mean, you're not dumb, you just...do dumb things sometimes. But like, whatever bro, we all do." Brady shrugged, trying to push it all to the back of his mind. "I like that you haven't fired me and kicked me out yet," Brady said with a smirk, still scrolling through the questions. A cop out? Sure, but that was Brady for you. "Here's one. What do we wanna dress up as for Halloween this year?"

Briefly Stevie imagined Brady with a giant megaphone to alert him whenever they were low and the important stuff --- like waffles. That'd be the only legitimate reason to get a megaphone, but he had a feeling that they'd abuse that fast. Wow, he was really maturing. As Stevie finished speaking and Brady had a chance to process what he said, Stevie was suddenly nervous. He wasn't shy about telling someone when he cared about them. His family always was affectionate and vocal about those things. But for the first time he was briefly concerned he'd said too much. But thankfully Brady didn't notice. Stevie relaxed with a small grin. "Yeah, I know. That's the other thing I like about you. You do dumb things with me." That's what he liked about him from the start, after all. "Uh --- I have fired you. Several times actually. Not my fault you keep coming back for more."  He wasn't able to read a lot of the questions as Brady flicked passed them, but there were some he caught glimpses of that he was glad Brady decided to skip passed. Yikes they had some dedicated fans. At the question, he felt his energy rise, and he gently hit Brady in the arm. "I was thinking about this, dude.  I have a couple of ideas. But I'm thinking we blend is as the security and see if anyone even notices us. We can film the whole time at one of the giant ass parties and they can't even kick us out for it. Smart, right? Unless you got any better ideas?"

Brady shrugged. “Yeah, I guess that’s true.” He had, in fact, been fired several times. He just never took it seriously, because obviously Stevie didn’t mean for it to be taken seriously. Until the day he did, at which point... well, Brady would probably figure it out pretty quick. “Bro, that’s the best.” The idea of playing the part of security at a party they clearly were not security for was downright hilarious. "I don’t have any better ideas. That’s kinda perfect.” He sighed as he continued to scroll. “Alright, let’s see here...”

[historicity-was-already-taken]

You've probably answered this b4, but who was the Pharaoh of and what date do you think was the Exodus? I like the Amarna period and the one God people all got exiled to Canaan ... but so many theories.

Note Before I Answer: This is not a political response, nor is it a religious one. Keep all that hell discourse out of my notes, please. Love you!

Short Answer: According to my readings of the Hebrew Bible, Ancient Near Eastern mythos, contemporary archaeological works, Biblical scholarly literature, and the history of the Levant in the Late Bronze/Early Iron Age, I am of the opinion that the story conveyed in Exodus–>Joshua never happened. I also might be wrong.

Long Answer: 

There’s this thing called the Documentary Hypothesis, founded by Julius Wellhausen, and recently expanded upon by Richard Elliott Friedman. There is no scholarly consensus on the veracity of the Hypothesis, but it makes the most sense to me when placed alongside the archaeological records, the known historical record, and Sumerian (etc) myth cycles. The very short and sweet explanation of the Documentary Hypothesis is that there are four main narrative strands within the Hebrew Bible: the J Source, E source, D Source, and P Source. Plus the Redactor. The J (“Yahwist”) and E (Elohist) sources are the oldest. J represents the oral history, mythos, etc of what would become the southern Kingdom of Judah, and E represents the same for the northern Kingdom of Israel. The two sources were combined by the D Source, the “Deuteronomist” sometimes after the fall of Israel to the Neo-Assyrain Empire in 721 BCE. The P Source is the “Priestly” source and it’s not really relevant to this particular conversation

The D Source’s combining of J and E wasn’t just about creating a compendium of myth, or folk religion, or oral history, it was about asserting the political and spiritual dominance of the Kingdom of Judah over the Kingdom of Israel, and hegemonizing Israelite worship practices from polytheistic to hardcore monotheistic. So, in Genesis we see a lot of cosmological and general mythological archetypes which, if you knew where to look, reflect aspects of God/Goddess cycles from all across Asia Minor, Egypt, and the Ancient Near East. (Check out my posts from 2011 and 2012 to learn more about how Genesis is secretly about a life goddess murdering some guy who kept stealing shit from her garden and banging his granddaughters)(that’s a hyperbolic assessment)

So Genesis happens blah blah blah, and then Joseph heads down to Egypt, his fam follows, time flies, and then came a Pharaoh who knew not Joseph etc the Israelites left Egypt, wandered the desert for 40 years, then blew down the walls of Jericho under Joshua, slaughtered all the Canaanites and took back the Promised Land. A grand, epic ending to a super-long Israelite cosmology.  

Except, according to Joshua, the Israelites were supposed to have destroyed a large number of Canaanite cities within a fairly small period of time. But the archaeological record of those cities show destruction layers hundreds of years apart, even within the larger 1100-1300 BCE timeframe typically used to look for a historical Exodus situation. And to make things even more awkward, the Book of Judges is supposed to happen after the Book of Joshua. Except, in the Book of Judges, the various Israelite clans very obviously live alongside Canaanites and Philistines. And they don’t even have hegemony over Canaan, like, most of the Book of Judges is about Israelite groups getting into border skirmishes with Canaanites. Who, according to Joshua, were supposed to be dead.

Awkward, but there’s an explanation.

There’s an archaeological theory called the Israelites as Canaanites theory, and it’s the one that makes the most sense to me. According to this theory, there was no Exodus, and the proto-Israelites never left the Levant; the Israelites WERE Canaanites. During the Bronze Age, the Levant was pretty evenly split between Egypt and the Hittite Empire, possibly leading to a memory of life under Egyptian rule which the D Source used as inspiration for the Exodus. The Bronze Age Collapse left the Levant in a bit of a power vacuum. That power vacuum opened the door for new groups and peoples to form identities, and claim territories, and have border disputes and form like, little backwater kingdoms for the Neo-Assyrians to laugh at.*

According to archaeologist William Dever, sometime around 1200 BCE, evidence starts to show up in the archaeological record of something new happening in the central Judean hill country: semi-permanent circular settlements, removed from other Canaanite sites of the period, with no evidence of pork consumption. The archaeological record does not show evidence of a new group entering Canaan, but it does show evidence of a new material culture growing in the highlands. 

If we are to understand Judges as a compendium of oral history, verse, myth, legend, and regional adapted archetypes from the pre-monarchical Israelite past, then that past is one of slow emergence and separation, not of dramatic racial and territorial conquest. And honestly, how do you go from winning a glorious genocidal campaign under one ruler to fighting a vague series of clan and border disputes within a loosely organized tribal society ruled by a warrior/mystic figure? Well, you kind of don’t. At least, not within a year.

So, that’s how Biblical textual analysis, ancient near eastern history and mythology, and the archaeological record come together for me to lead me to view that Exodus, the grand Israelite cosmology as conveyed in the Genesis-Joshua, didn’t happen. At least, not the way it is described, and not the way we think about it.

Now, further reading because you know I don’t pull this out of my ass ok: 

Old Testament Parallels (New Revised and Expanded Third Edition): Laws and Stories from the Ancient Near East by Victor H. Matthews and Don C. Benjamin

1177 B.C.: The Year Civilization Collapsed (Turning Points in Ancient History) by Eric Cline

From Eden to Exile: Unraveling Mysteries of the Bible by Eric Cline

Who Were the Early Israelites and Where Did They Come From? by William Dever

Did God Have a Wife?: Archaeology and Folk Religion in Ancient Israel by William Dever

The End of the Bronze Age by Robert Drews

The Bible Unearthed: Archaeology’s New Vision of Ancient Israel and the Origin of Its Sacred Texts by Neil Silberman and Israel Finkelstein

Who Wrote the Bible? by Richard Eliot Friedman

A History of Ancient Israel and Judah, Second Edition by J. Maxwell Miller and John Haralson Hayes

A Brief History of Ancient Israel by Victor H. Matthews

The Social History of Ancient Israel: An Introduction by Rainer Kessler

A History of the Ancient Near East ca. 3000 - 323 BC [Blackwell History of the Ancient World Ser.] by Marc Van De Mieroop

The Philistines and Aegean Migration at the End of the Late Bronze Age by Assaf Yasur-Landau

*I’m going to Jew hell for that one.

[mercurialsmile]

Why I don’t have a beta reader and don’t edit for shit

I’ve been asked this a number of times over the years so I’m gonna discuss why I no longer take beta readers on my works. 

1. Timing 

It takes me a long while to type up a chapter for a fic. Mental Illness TM and just Life TM in general like to kick my ass so the actual “me sitting down and actually working on ff” is a kinda small timeframe. It can take up to a month or a month and a half to actually finish a chapter. Then I would have to send it off to a beta, who could take up to three months or more to get it done. 

Almost every beta I have had took forever to actually finish editing my chapters. And yes, I do have long chapters. Not gonna lie. But if it takes someone three months to fix typos in a 5,000 word long chapter... that’s way too long. 

2. They drop off the face of the Earth 

Almost all the betas I’ve had (if not all of them) just... stopped. Didn’t ever get back to me with a completed chapter, never messaged me back. They just. Kinda stopped. And I could never get ahold of them again. And it’s frustrating as all hell. Of course, I’m not paying anyone to edit my shit. The fact that someone wants to volunteer is amazing in and of itself and I am very thankful for that fact. And I totally understand life getting in the way. But... at least tell me you can’t anymore? I’m not gonna get mad. Just tell me “hey I can’t beta for you anymore/right now because of x, y, and z” and that will give me peace of mind. I mean honestly. 

3. Poor betaing 

I’ve had a couple of really good betas in my past, but most my betas weren’t that great. Things still were wrong. No one corrected me on awful grammar mistakes I made. Of course, no one is perfect, but if a beta chapter looks exactly the same as the un-betaed chapter and the only difference is a “there” corrected to “their” and literally nothing else... then that’s a problem. Some of the betas I’ve had stretched the truth in telling me what they are good at and that’s a problem. 

4. Everything above is shit I’ve pulled 

Yeah, I used to do some spotty beta work a longass time ago. I was complete shit at it! I hate editing! I really do! (which is why I almost never edit my own work lmao) I didn’t read the full chapter, exaggerated at what I was good at, and at least for one person i was attempting to beta for I just kinda. Stopped messaging them. lmao. yeah kinda assholish of me to do. 

I don’t trust myself in betaing others at all, which is why I don’t beta. Because I know I fuck up. 

But listen. When you tell someone on the internet that you’re gonna fucking beta for them then actually do that. If you know that things might get busy for you, don’t beta. If you don’t think you can edit a 100,000 words + fanfic, don’t fucking beta for it. If you’re just shit at editing and think you can do so because you’re 13 and got an A on that creative writing english essay your teacher gave you.... then maybe you should wait till you got more experience under your belt. 

I’ve had a lot of criticism thrown my way due to my piss poor editing, like I don’t know. Guess what? I know there are a lot of typos in my shit! I know there’s a lot of mistakes! And I’ve seen this in other people’s stuff to. 

Getting a beta isn’t just. Twiddling your thumbs and messaging a whole bunch of people you stumble across on ffnet. nor is it making general posts on this hellsite and hoping someone is kind enough to help you. It’s... really fucking hard to find a beta. ESPECIALLY if you’re like me and write 150,000 word longfics that have 25+ chapters that are around 5,000 words long. That shit takes a while! 

Another big thing, least for me, is that I HATE editing chapter by chapter. I seriously do. In fact, a lot of advice tossed about tells you to not do that. Don’t get caught up on one chapter. Keep fucking going. Of course this applies to original stories that are probably your eyes only, but I apply that to ff as well. It’s why I barely did any editing of liaft when I wrote that (funfact: I just edited the 15th chapter) and the only reason why I edited the first 15 chapters of lial is because I thought they were awful and needed to be cleaned up/rewritten and just went ahead and edited them anyways. 

Another big thing, least with my fics... I do care about them. If I didn’t I would drop them. But if someone tells me “Oh, Lanx, you typed “its” instead of “it’s” in chapter 3 of liaft on the fifth paragraph from the bottom” or smth... I don’t care enough to fix that. Bc I am super lazy. And I already edited that chapter anyways in my mind so It Is Done and I am Not Messing With It. 

I write fics for fun and mainly for myself tbfh. And does it make me a bad writer to just. paste whatever I got online without editing? Maybe. But as I said before, I write because its a fun hobby. Know what I hate and find not fun? Editing. I find it to be a chore. I despise reading my own writing and I despise rereading something over and over again like that. it’s not fun, which is why I don’t edit.

Now, I’ll force myself to edit stuff when it seriously needs it. I will also edit my actual novels/novellas once I am completed with those. Because I actually do put more care into those then my ff or whatever mindless smut or random stupid drabbles I decide to post.

BUT that’s just me. I edit fics at a time, not chapters, and I am really bad at editing. Mostly because I hate my own writing and more than once I just go back and delete what I just wrote instead of actually. Editing it. 

Maybe once I get more practice in w my original novels/novellas I’ll try and attempt it more in my ff (lol) and my drabbles and oneshots (lm a o) but for now, I am not really focused on that at all. I’ll edit shit either if I feel I seriously need to before a story is complete (mainly if it has huge issues, like pacing ones, not because I wrote “feel” as “fell” again or vice versa) or once it’s completed. Not before.