#slutty Jess
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saltygilmores · 7 months ago
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Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, 3x8, Let The Games Begin. Part 5 (Richard Gilmore Has A Slutty Past)
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Heh, they did the thing where they say the title of the episode inside the episode again.
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Goody. Our fearsome foursome is off to Yale. *drinks heavily* Emily won't allow Lorelai to bring a sealed thermos of coffee into the car. Frankly I hope Lorelai spills it on her lap and gets a mild scald. It would humble her. Ya know, It's never stated whether Lorelai has alcohol or coffee in the mug, just that Emily is adamant she can't drink liquids in a vehicle. Frankly, I would understand Lorelai's need to self medicate with booze at 9am before a road trip with her parents, but on the other hand, as I stated earlier. She also didn't have to come. She could be home playing Hide the Cocktail Sausage with Dean. We could skip to the part where Rory and Jess smooch at the gas station. Never fear. The next scene that follows, the calm before yet another storm, if you will, turned out to be a highly entertaining and enjoyable romp for me. Enter: Richard Gilmore The Man Whore.
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After having already toured Harvard a year ago, Lorelai is still in awe over how many freaking geeks attend large universities. Richard: I spent a lot of time in the Yale art gallery. Emily: I'll say you did. Richard: What is that supposed to mean? Uh oh. Huh. Was this art gallery some kind of idk, hub of intellectual and artistic curiosity slash whorehouse where a young man could go to find sexually liberated artistic chicks for easy pickings? But like, in the 50's? What a concept.
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Jess would kick his own ass if they called it that.
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Richard GIlmore, you dog.
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(you have to imagine Jess is feigning interest/ knowledge in the penis octopus portrait to a young lady or perhaps another bicurious young man and not his uncle) Emily: He was the master of the "Frown, step back, wrinkle, and sigh" Okay, my curiosity is piqued. You got me. Please explain?
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Knowing Richard Gilmore was such a skankbag in college just like Jess is the gift I didn't know I needed today. Jess can do the frown, wrinkle and sigh during a poetry open mic night at the Truncheon, where he takes his latest conquest. Tuesday nights at 8pm. Light refreshments of coffee, potato chips, and chocolate chip cookies will be served.
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Be proud of your skanky past, Richard. Your grandaughter's stepcousin sure was of his. RIchard: I'll have you know was happily involved in a very serious relationship when your mother decided she simply had to have me. We were engaged. She had met my parents, invitations were mailed out. Emily: You'll give these girls the wrong impression. Lorelai: That you were the Helena Bonham Carter of the society set? Emily: I did not steal your father, I simply gave him a choice. Richard: When you showed up at my frat party in that blue dress, I had no choice. I know who HBC is but that's another topical early 2000's reference that has escaped me. I guess she was a man stealer of some sort. I"m thinking it must have something to do with Jonny Depp. Anyway, I don't think you have to worry about modeling healthy relationships for Rory or Lorelai. Its too late, the horse has already escaped the barn there. Lorelai: I can't believe you were The Other Woman Emily:This is ridiculous. Lorelai: The other woman should be saying "this is ridiculous" Rory's inner monologue: I want to be just like Grandma when I grow up.
We learn Richard proposed to Emily at Yale next to a trash can, and it seems to be a tradition in the Gilmore family to get proposed to next to a trash can. And in Lorelai's case to reproduce with the trash can, continue to have sex with the trash can over the next two decades and eventually, to marry the trash can.
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teddypickerry · 1 month ago
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my type is 5’7 bad boys (who aren’t really bad boys) living in a completely different city with a father figure who gets them, in this jacket. woof.
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heisenpink · 1 year ago
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Aaron Paul attends Rosé Day LA at King Gillette Ranch on June 24, 2023
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frazzledsoul · 6 days ago
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Slutty Philadelphia Jess's Potential Partners Across TVdom: Bicurious Edition
I can't get the original post to show up in the tags, but if you want to see the lady side of the equation, it can be found here
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Dan Humphrey (Gossip Girl)
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Dan is smart, well-read, witty, has humble roots (sort of), and like Jess has experience with trying (and sometimes failing) to deal with the excesses and judgments of the elite. They can banter over books and movies, have lots of NYC adventures, and will probably end up being the most pretentious gay couple of all time. They might end up getting married.
(fun fact: Penn Badgeley and Milo were roommates in the late 00s and Penn used to steal his ID to get into clubs)
Dane Whitman (Eternals)
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Okay, not a TV show and it's unlikely anyone involved in this project will ever appear again. I don't care. Dane is intelligent, talkative, a total nerd, and has a great ass. He also has experience dealing with flighty women who are incapable of making up their mind. According to lore that will never be explored (fuck you Marvel), he also has a thorny family history and a hereditary curse that threatens to doom him. Jess is related to Liz, so he understands that all too well. It also is my fervent desire to see Kit Harington and Milo Ventimiglia in some sort of project together. So in my head, they will be making out a lot and trading snazzy sweaters.
Sam Winchester (Supernatural)
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If Dean and Jess can never have the torrid affair they deserve, I will settle for his doppelganger. Sam is rustic, good with his hands, and also has a thorny family history. You know you want it, boys.
Peter Petrelli (Heroes)
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I mean, who wouldn't want to hook up with their angsty superpowered AU self?
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avesrobin · 3 months ago
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he is such a loser. i need him
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gretagerwigsmuse · 1 year ago
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had one too many yeti sized tequila sodas decorating my christmas tree so now i’m just laying on the floor contemplating my entire existence
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saltygilmores · 3 months ago
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Top 3 Slutty Philadelphia Jess headcanons
A scene that mirrors that one episode in s4, with Jess in place of Paris’ crusty old man boyfriend, entertaining hordes of book groupies at one of his book signings
He’s into social media now and maintains a popular presence on MySpace
When Rory leaves after that whole stunt she pulls in 6x18 he just shrugs and goes on his merry way. The hoes are waiting!
He is going to college part time while working at Truncheon, at school he maintains a slutty reputation
After his books start to become popular he has to wrestle with being “known” or moderately “famous” (I know that more than one fic has explored this already)
He does not live in a cramped dirty apartment above his place of employment (again) with multiple room mates but has a very sweet luxury apartment in Philly to bring all of his babes home to
Basically, he becomes a wealthy fuckboy who is a less shitty version of Logan and idc 😁 I spit in the face of canon!
That was more than 3 🤭
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teddypickerry · 23 days ago
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CHARACTERS I THINK WOULD BE 100x BETTER WITH JESS THAN RORY EVER WAS.
before the literati army comes for me, i don’t dislike them with passion like those fuckass dean fans. when i watch the show i enjoy them the most by far. i enjoy any scene jess is in. however, when i step back, yeah there was no way in hell they were gonna work out in the long run. the writers wouldn’t let that happen, nor should it have. they’re cute; but i’d prefer better for both of them in their own ways.
aka team rory gets therapy, jess gets bitches.
oo. serena van der woodsen (i know, i know. just stick with me!!!)
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just hear me out for two seconds. do i think they’d last a lifetime? no, no the fuck i don’t. would they be fun to watch? oh, hell yeah. jess thinks she’s what she is, an annoying girl raised by a billionaire. but she somehow woos him with her long legs and careless attitude. do they break up after she graduates and does nothing with her life while he’s busting his ass off to make a couple hundred a week? um, yeah. but that’s probably already their third breakup because lily hated him at first (hiiii lorelai), blair was a bitch to him, chuck set him up, and gossip girl made a blast about his past. side note: what would jess’s gossip girl name be? i’m leaning toward a catcher in the rye reference. and would he probably be better fit for blair? mmm, yeah. but would that happen, mmm no. but that’s for another time.
oo. spencer hastings (here’s where we’re getting into it)
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spencer is one of the few characters that challenges jess’s family dynamic. yeah, he dated his now step-cousin but her sister made out with her half-sister’s half-brother who share a dad that she technically shares sooooo. not to mention her mom’s not even her mom and she has an evil twin sister. so crazy family dynamic no one else understands? yeah they got that covered. i like to call spencer the better rory on speed. because well… spencer was on speed. she definitely fits the academic type who can not only match but challenge his literary references. she just gets it without trying and she’d sure as hell hold a grudge against liz. they’re both strong as hell but they need someone to lean on, they are kids.
oo. marissa cooper (you knew it was coming)
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i don’t need to remind you guys of my absolute devotion toward this crossover ship. but hey i’m doing it anyways. let’s make a list, shall we? psycho mom who never took accountability for her actions and *borderline* abused them? check. dad who left? check. running off ‘cause life sucks x2? checcckkkkk. i mean the list could go on and on. my punk loving babies who mentioned the same book and bands, awwwww. i think the great thing about them is they both need to be protected whether they realize it or not. i think they’d be one of those couples that can speak with one look - no words necessary. she glances at him once and he’s holding onto her for dear life. have i imagined their entire relationship in my head? yes, yes i have. is that fic coming? it was supposed to but i suck. anyways, these two were doomed from their start. they really weren’t given a fair chance. but they got past it (or at least they were both *going* to). le sigh.
oo. literally anyone.
<3
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disasterbiwriter · 7 months ago
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I'm sorry in advance I'm only gonna treat you bad I'm probably gonna let you down I'm probably gonna sleep around So sorry in advance Before you take off your pants I wouldn't let me near your friends I wouldn't let me near your dad
But don't blame me, blame Brett Blame my ex, blame my ex, blame my ex
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pupkashi · 11 months ago
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I’ve been sick all day sorry for being so ia </3 but i watched the grey man and i forgot how fucking hot ryan gosling was i need him so bad 😓😓🙏
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s1x-foot-deep · 2 years ago
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anon flirts w santos, reports say he got so flustered it caused a solar flare & injured 3 people
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saltygilmores · 1 year ago
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Milo discusses the inconvenience of living with Peter Petrelli’s hair.
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rexxdjarin · 3 months ago
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Jesse it’s also about the waist-to-shoulder ratio
And I mean specifically Rex’s because 🥵😍
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teddypickerry · 7 months ago
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biggest crime of gg was not rory stealing the boat, not emily talking on her phone while driving, NO. it was teasing us with this little waist AND NEVER SHOWING IT.
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enchantedlov3r · 3 months ago
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fwb!ellie x bunny!reader nsfw drabble
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fwb!ellie who loves to tease you in public, no matter where you guys are. whether it was school or at a store, even dina's house, it didn't matter.
fwb!ellie who adores physical touch, no matter if you guys are supposed to be studying, she has to touch you, if you guys are eating, she has to touch you, if you guys are in a store or going somewhere fancy, she has to touch you.
fwb!ellie who buys you the hottest bunny rabbit outfit for halloween so she can see you all slutty and sexy just to then skip trick or treating to fuck you all night in your bunny outfit. after all you were her little bunny.
fwb!ellie who runs at your beck and call when you hurt yourself or when you are feeling down about yourself and your value. who wipes your tears and cradles you telling you everything is alright.
fwb!ellie who used to call you thumper when you guys were little and to this day still calls you thumper to remind you of the memory of you bouncing and stomping, having a little tantrum like a bunny.
fwb!ellie who tells joel all about you. who's eyes light up when speaking about you just to shut down by reminding herself that you guys aren't dating, but boy she wishes you guys were.
fwb!ellie who loves to eat you out any chance she gets. your feeling down, she can help, feeling stressed, puts her head between your legs, feeling happy, eats you out anyway whether you like it or not, she always has to taste you.
fwb!ellie who just loves to invite you to parties even though she knows how shy you get sometimes. but she loves to see you become the life of the party once you get comfortable.
fwb!ellie who loves staring at your figure from the corner of the room at said party with a red solo cup in her hand. you in that pink skin-tight dress with cute pink heels to match and that adorable pink hibiscus flower clip in your hair. she loves watching your hips sway to the beat as you dance with dina.
fwb!ellie who denies all accusations of you two dating. looking at jesse and dina with the best poker face she can muster up. "dudes, I swear, were not dating! we're just friends." ellie says. and just as she thinks she's convinced them, you walk out of her bedroom with her flannel on and it's buttoned up with her boxers on as you grab a snack. which leads to jesse and dina raising eyebrows at ellie and giving her a 'your lying' look.
fwb!ellie who talks joel into getting a pink promise ring just so ellie can propose it to you and officially make you her girlfriend. ellie is so nervous when she takes you out to eat and takes you to your favorite park where she does it. you immediately say yes and she smiles the happiest smile in the world.
fwb!ellie who is no longer your friend with benefits but your full-time girlfriend who takes you to meet joel and shows you off at dinner because she's so happy you're finally hers officially.
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Taglist: @ribbonprincess @r3starttt @dollyfl1rt @raynesbandaids @quiet-villian + anyone else who wants to join!
COMMENTS, REBLOGS, AND LIKES ARE MUCH APPRECIATED!
©enchantedlov3r| All rights reserved. Do not repost, reupload, translate, modify, or claim my work as your own.
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macfrog · 9 months ago
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psyche and cupid | one shot
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happy valentine's, beautiful people. i love you with all of my heart. xx shoutout to @familyvideostevie for putting joel's slutty little thigh holster into my head and, well. yeah. pairing: jackson!joel miller x fem!reader summary: valentine's day with joel doesn't go to plan. warnings: part two never happened!!!!! abby who!!!, established relationship, cursing, half joel pov, unspecified age gap, hints to reader having a sliver of ptsd, jesse is alive and well because he is my prince and i said so, reader has dark pubic hair, masturbation, somnophilia (not discussed in this fic but she is a-ok with it) and therefore dubcon, sprinkle of praise kink, oral (f!receiving), someone comes in his underwear, these two goofballs are big in love word count: 5.5k
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It’s not in his nightstand.
Not hung over the newel post, either.
He said he left it on the kitchen counter yesterday, right after he got home; said he woke up this morning and it was gone. And then he muttered something of an accusation that someone had tidied it away and forgotten where, and that started a whole new argument.
You know what, Joel? You’re following his tall figure as it sways down the hallway, his strides longer and considerably smoother than your flurrying shadow in his wake. Maybe if you weren’t going out today, we wouldn’t be having this problem.
His chin tilts upward, salt and pepper scruff angled to the ceiling with a ha slung from his throat. Yeah, he tosses a glance over his shoulder, we’d just be havin’ it tomorrow, instead.
You scoff in response, stepping where his boots lift off from, following the heavy thud thud thud like a cat at his heels until he’s rounding the corner towards your bedroom.
You pass over the messy trail of your jeans and Joel’s pajama bottoms, your underwear and his leading in a trail to the unmade bed – sheets like a rippled wave painted golden by the dawn.
The two of you split off – Joel lifts the cotton and watches it float back down over the flat of your mattress. Nothing.
You take the closet – the squeal of metal on metal harsh in your sleepy ears as you shove the hanging clothes aside, swiping around at the floor. Also, unsurprisingly, nothing.
Deflated, you straighten, stars peppering your vision and a tatty sleepshirt pinched in your fingers. Led Zeppelin – some band Joel was into before everything went to shit. You’ve listened to him out on the porch before, plucking strings in time with the record wobbling on the turntable inside.
The collar torn, sleeves pecked with holes, print lost to the years and the dryer – but each time you drape it over your shoulders, he smiles and hums some song from a world you’ll never know.
It’s sweet, when you’re in the mood to be wooed.
Which, incidentally, is not right fucking now.
His eyes flit down to the peeling, grayscale image – and that same smile attempts to bloom on his lips. That’s cute, but it ain’t my holster, pretty bird.
His smirk dampens quickly when he looks back up, snuffed by your stony expression.
You whip the tee down to the foot of the bed. You are a piece of fuckin’ work sometimes, do you know that? you growl, storming by him for the en suite.
Joel’s rough hand slips around your wrist, tugging gently but letting you drag him through to the bathroom.
Just go, Joel, you groan, the chill of the room prickling goosebumps on your naked legs. Give  me some peace and quiet. ‘s not like I’m gonna be seein’ much of you today, anyways.
Is that what this is about? His voice echoes in the morning blue, round in your ears as you hang your head over the sink. Pickin’ a fight ‘cause you’re pissed I’m goin’ out?
I didn’t start the fight, you protest. You’re the one who lost his holster.
Didn’t lose it… he mumbles, lips closing around the sentence when he catches your glare in the mirror. He crosses one ankle over the other, toe of his dusty boot on the cracked tile, and sighs. What do you want me to do, baby? I gotta do my job.
On Valentine’s Day? When I worked extra to get it off, and you can’t even get your brother to swap one shift?
Joel’s expression seems to stiffen, tense with a realization that you know, and now he knows, too – he should’ve had days ago. A weighty breath falls from his nostrils, admitting some kind of defeat, and then he’s wandering carefully over to you, two hands curved over your shoulders.
He lowers his forehead onto the nape of your neck, a slow breath which flutters the loose collar of the flannel you’re wearing and sweeps down your spine. I’m sorry, pretty bird. I didn’t know it meant that much to ya.
It doesn’t, you admit, adding, usually. I just thought we could have a day to ourselves, for once.
He’s nodding, sweep of his fringe tickling the slope of your skin. It’d be a lot more romantic than spendin’ it with Jesse, that’s for sure.
Your bodies fall together with a shared laugh, a bright and charming thing in the dull bathroom light. Joel kisses the soft cushion of your shoulder and hooks his chin over, beard grazing your skin.
I’ll be back before you know it. ‘n then we can do whatever the hell you got planned for us, hm?
He’s steady behind you when you lean back, turning to place a damp kiss to the hinge of his jaw. A reply, a plea – a promise.
In the echoing dripdripdrip from the faucet, Joel pulls apart from you, two fingers pinching the hem of your shirt to pull you back into the bedroom.
You wanna walk me to the gate? he asks, pulling the zipper on his jacket.
What about your holster?
He smiles. I’m sure I’ll survive without it. C’mon. Put some pants on.
February is bitter even by Jackson’s standards – a bite of ice in the air which numbs the tip of your nose and stings the helix of your ears. The chill slips a long, sharp finger down the collar of your – Joel’s jacket, and you wrap the baggy canvas tighter around yourself.
Told you to wear som’ thicker. Joel sighs, grip light around the strap of his shotgun. His elbow nudges into yours, a wide arm wraps around your shoulder and draws you flush against his side. Head on back if you’re cold, he says, rubbing until the friction warms your upper arm.
I’m fine, you lie, eyeing the line of horses up ahead. The eager crunch of their hooves in the frozen ground, the pinkish light on their backs from the sky flooded crimson overhead – a warning from the horizon, you think.
It seems to agitate the animals as much as it does you, their heavy heads tossing nervously, ears flicking and inky eyes blinking.
Jesse meets you by the paddock, slipping Joel the reins of his horse with a curt nod, before hoisting himself atop his own.
It bleats from your lips before you can hold it back. Be careful.
Your frozen fingers claw around the zipper of his coat, tugging it upwards until it brushes against his bottom lip. The weather gets bad, you turn back. Okay?
He’s nodding, paying half his attention to your words, the other half to the little crease between your brows. Sure could use my holster against the cold, baby, he mutters, smirk lifting his cheeks and folding similar creases at the corners of his eyes.
Your eyes narrow, palms landing flat against his strong chest. Home soon?
He hums a little laugh, lips ghosting across your temple as he shifts by. Home soon, he mutters, breath steaming against your cold skin, and he leads the mare off towards the gate.
There’s a lot about Joel you admire.
Each part of him like a pebble stolen on a hike; some more jagged, a little more weathered than others, some well-rounded and smooth to the touch. Each one turned and turned and turned between your fingers until you’re fluent in every pore and vein, then dropped into your pocket alongside the others you’ve collected.
Clacking against one another until you arrive home, coat heavier with the happy burden of how much you love him. The same weight you feel behind your ribcage when you think too much about it.
He takes good care of you – has done since you first happened across one another. As if hanging his hunting jacket over your frail body was a wing over your shoulders; as if, from then on, you would never make a single move again without your grizzly bear of a man making it first.
Quiet about it, sure. Subtle. Opens the crook of his elbow for you to hook your wrist around as you wander through town together, and waits until you’re under the cover of nightfall or behind the close of your front door to do much else.
Asks with little more than a fleeting glance if you’re okay; a squeeze of your knee under the table in the dining hall. A conversation shared between closed lips and the meeting of his honey-flecked gaze, and yours. A language which lives and dies with the pair of you.
He’s guarded – and for all that he’s been through, you figure you can allow him that. Allow him his private peace. For all that he says without saying, all he does without making some big song and dance of it – there hasn’t been a second since you arrived here on the back of his horse, that you haven’t known he loves you.
It’s in him like it’s in you. A fever which broke at the first touch of his hand and yours, the first meeting of his warmth and your chill. Two opposites – cooling the painful sear in his heart, warming the barren frost in yours. Something sewn deep into your flesh, carved right through to the hollow of your bones.
And Jesus, if it doesn’t drive you fucking insane.
The front yard needs tidied up after winter, you notice, as you scuff your way up the path towards the porch. Once the last of the snow dries up, you two can get to repairing the damage done by the blizzards and the gales: fitting new shutters, planting new bulbs.
A cycle you’re still getting used to: the upkeep of a place called home. The strange feeling of having someone you call the same thing.
Your extra shifts at the stables and Joel’s long mornings out on the trails mean your home has gone neglected for a few days. Dishes and cutlery left in the sink, a pile of laundry slowly sprouting to new heights like a wild plant each time you cast a wary glance at it.
It’s not like you’ve much else to do, given Joel won’t be home for at least another couple hours. So you shuck off your jeans, letting the tail of his shirt dangle from your behind, and pick your way around each room – wiping counters and dusting corners, humming along to the crooning old records as they spin in the background.
Playing house at the end of the world. Pretending to listen for the tired exhale of a yellow school bus, mimicking the electrified babble of radio presenters between each track.
The bedroom is arguably the worst offender. Bedsheets used a few days too long, clothes strung across the floor – the relics of a late one at the Tipsy Bison. It’s no wonder you’re so fucking tired.
Echoes of stumbling footsteps and hushed, drunken giggles loop your ears, the groaning bedsprings and blunt thud of the headboard. You pluck the underwear and socks one by one, your body wincing around a satisfied ache still lingering, and shuffle over to the laundry hamper, lifting the lid to –
The dopey smile on your lips dissolves instantly. You gotta be fucking…
The buckle glints in the light, silver blinking up at you from its bed of dirty laundry. The tan strap coiled and neatly slung through its fastener; the pouch empty. Awkward and ashamed, lying there in front of you. Apologetic, almost.
Your eyes roll closed; a short, hot breath seeping past your lips. A silent promise embedding beneath your tongue to take him by the sleeve as soon as he crosses the threshold, force him to lift the lid himself. An I told you so already brewing in the pit of your stomach.
The holster’s actually pretty heavy when you lift it up in the light. Leather a little worn, stitching frayed where it should clip around his belt.
It’s the size and width of him: a thick, toned thigh slotted inside the loop of leather, fixed by fingers long void of feeling when he’s been riding to the outpost, chasing infected, plunging his knife deep into their necks.
Patrol was never your thing. Joel took you out just once – but there are cracks in your past which threaten to split you in two, it seems, the longer you spend outside the settlement walls. Phantoms which follow close behind in the form of snapping twigs, of the wind rustling in the trees overhead. Shadows living in your periphery with curled sneers and spits of filth.
You lasted twenty minutes, that first and only day, before Joel had your horses tied together and your body shelled in his own, taking you straight back home.
But the thought of this around his thigh, the thought of him adjusting it to the waistband of his jeans; his hand floating down to settle gently atop it when he’s listening for danger approaching, two fingers slipping into the trigger guard.
It…stirs something.
You pad over to the bathroom, hopping as you step into the strap. He wears it on his right leg, right? You pull it past your ankle, ball of your foot slamming clumsily back down on the tile.
Adjusting it to fit your thigh, you bunch the hem of his shirt in one fist and stare back at your reflection. Her nervous stance, hips swaying left to right as she peruses the figure opposite.
Who is she, this mirage – naked thigh decorated with her man’s leather, fingernails tracing the messy stitching and imagining the weight of his gun, keen in the pouch?
A strange aura of possession about it, like a part of him locked firm around a part of you, from however many miles away. You swear you can feel the ghost of his warmth on the inside of the strap, wrapped around your sensitive skin.
Yeah.
Stirs something, alright.
Joel’s been gone little over an hour. He’s probably at the outpost by now, logging All clear and pretending to let Jesse take the lead. Wide shoulders swaying as he wanders from room to room, a careful scope of the valley from each window, tongue tracing the bottom of his teeth.
Ridges of his knuckles white around the grip of his shotgun, squinting down the barrel. Lines drawn between his brows and at the corners of his eyes like scores on parchment, focus and concentration tight on his face.
You sink back into the cradle of your bed, that divot where his body and yours meet each night. Each part of you intertwining with a part of him: the place where you become one. His smell and your touch, your giggle and his teeth.
A sudden, powerful thing which hammers through your veins and jumps your body for a few seconds – you pull the first orgasm from between your legs within a matter of minutes. The sight of his shirt disturbed over your stomach, the feeling of blood squeezing past taut leather enough to throw you under by itself, never mind the fast snap of your fingers deep inside your body.
Another – slower, lazier, still vibrating from the first – then almost a third, but the crinkle of sheets at your ears, the pillow-soft landscape beneath your heavy body, begins to sweep you off somewhere.
And in as little time as it took to entice you into the water in the first place, you slip beneath the waves.
The house is quiet when he finally makes it home.
Jesus, Joel thinks, what a shift.
Not one infected the entire run, he can’t quite believe – but Jesse caught his palm on some warped sheet of chain link fence, then almost passed out when he looked down and saw the scarlet seeping from his shredded skin.
The pair sat for half an hour, unsheltered in the unforgiving wind, waiting for the kid’s head to stop spinning and the cold to rob the feeling from his hand.
All Joel wanted was to get home to you. You, and your hips swaying as you stand by the stove, and his hands kneading into the velvet plush of your waist, and the smell of burnt sausages and spatter of angry oil from the pan.
He’s so late. He said he’d be as quick as he could, said you’d barely know he was gone, and he’s so fucking late.
But he’s here now, at least.
He’s home.
As he kicks off his boots, snow sprinkling from the soles onto the doormat, he notices the absence of your arms around his waist. The missing weight at the back of him, no ear flat against his spine and hands interlocked above his belt. No relieved, I missed you, no nuzzle of your head under his arm.
The house is still and dim. The turntable spins in the corner, a dead crackle playing nothing for no one. Joel sniffs, eyeing the room and its new, orderly form: the books slotted neatly on their shelves, the rings of coffee wiped clean from the table.
Lifting the needle from the record, Joel calls out, Baby?
Maybe you’re in town somewhere. Maybe you’ve gone to spend the morning with the horses. But then, you would’ve been watching for his arrival. Would’ve skipped out from the stables and swung around his body, a gleeful smile and an outstretched hand. Take me home, cowboy.
And you wouldn’t have left the lights still burning, the player still turning. Your coat is still on its hook, smaller and brighter and where it belongs on the right of Joel’s. The cushions on the couch are fluffed and smooth, perched contentedly in place; the curtains draped in their tie backs.
You’re home. You’ve been home all morning.
So where the fuck are you?
Joel crosses over to the bottom of the stairs, blinking up at the painted cowboys and horses staring down from the landing. Calls your name, a faint singsong as he slowly ascends the stairs. You up there?
Down the wintery dull hallway to the bedroom door, figuring he knows the answer. And he’s right, isn’t he, when he nudges the door open and peers inside, spots the tiny lump of you in your double bed. Sunk deep into the mattress – covers you’d come in here to change, swallowing you whole.
A crooked, exhausted smile pulls across his lips; his thumb hooks around a belt loop, knee cocking.
You’re so…perfect. So heavenly, so still like this – stretched out on your front, breathing in the scent of his pillow and breathing out little puffs of air.
Joel leans over you, a heavy hand pushing into the mattress above your shoulder, and runs a featherlight knuckle over your cheek.
Pretty bird? he whispers, lighter than the long breaths from your sleep-swollen lips.
You don’t stir. No movement, save for the rise and fall of your shoulders wrapped up in his flannel.
Joel feels a pang of guilt, numbed only by the chill still through his body: he woke you this morning, before even the sun had lifted her head. Had you hunting all over the house with him, for some dumb holster that he wound up not even n–
His eyes trail down the shape of your body, draped in the sheets like white marble carved into the round shape of something beautiful, hands following the curve of your thigh. His wrist freezes when it meets the odd bulge of something, an awkward bump beneath the cotton.
He peels the sheet back, lifting it from your shoulders, your waist, your hips – until your angled thigh lies on full display for his feasting eyes.
His fucking holster…wrapped tight around your fucking thigh.
A disbelieving laugh at first – a She told me so, before he notices the indents in your skin, the stretched leather snug around your leg, riding higher than it should at the doing of your slumber.
Christ, baby, he breathes, stare glued to the folds of plaid hooked around the belt loop. Following the tatty hem down past your hip, along the underside of your ass – riding up some, right where your legs part.
And between them, all sheer and thin, twisted around itself and slipping between: your underwear. The threading of pubic hair peeking over the frilled hem of it; the sight filling Joel’s mouth with saliva.
A heavy heat forms in his jeans, an irritable weight which aches when he moves; which hardens when he pictures the image of you in his bed, his shirt, his holster wrapped around your thigh – playing with yourself while he’s been gone.
Fuck. Fuckin’…shit.
He lowers, running lips he knows are freezing cold along the burning surface of your skin, tongue slipping past his teeth to drag a wet trail along your thigh.
Your leg shifts under his touch, the startle of his chilled fingertips behind your knee, nuzzling of his nose where the holster sits smugly on your thigh. Smelling like leather and salt, the sticky sheen of sweat still glowing on your skin.
Joel takes your waist in two hands – he can’t fucking help himself, can he? – and turns you, patiently, watching as you roll onto your back so he can drag you further down the bed. Tongue flicking at the corners of his lips, thirsty for something he only wants you to feed him.
Slow, slowly. Every effort put into not waking you, to keeping you in this peachy haze between asleep and awake; your movements long and staggered, held firm against the mattress by the weight of your doze.
With a sigh, your jaw turns to one side. Joel pulls you in, kneeling at the edge of the bed with your socked feet resting on his shoulders. His shirt gathers around your waist; your hips and the thin twine of your underwear spotlighted by stripes of weakened sunlight spilling in through the blinds.
Oh, pretty bird, he groans, slipping his open palms under your ass, rough and squeezing the pillows of flesh in his hands. This all for me?
A moan wrapped in a hefty breath twists from your lips. Your knees fall limp; legs open almost eagerly, like your body inviting him in. And he accepts, takes it with eyes blown black and hungry lips parted – leans in and nestles his nose against the thrumming heartbeat pounding through your clit.
Such a good girl, he whispers, closing his lips in a kiss over your clothed mound, and your hips jolt.
You’re so fucking warm. So wet; sticky and so ready for him. He kisses your folds, suckling gently and letting his tongue dart along the inseam of your lips in flicking movements – collecting the taste of salt and feeling his cock throb against rough denim.
Off? he asks – you and the room and himself – fingers hooking around the underwear rolled on your hips.
When your back arches, body feeling the loss of his tender kiss, rolling like a wave seeking to crash against the steady rock form of his – he smirks to himself.
Joel nods. Off.
He takes his time peeling them from your body, watching as more and more of his paradise is revealed. The waves of your folds, the sheer glisten of arousal along them; the dark hair peppering either side as damp and slick as the skin beneath it.
Your panties drop from a hooked finger without a sound and he turns back, hovering over your waiting cunt with wide eyes and a slack jaw. Out front, voices call back and forth to one another – some neighborly greeting and affable conversation – but Joel doesn’t hear. Deafened to anything but the sound of your sighs and his own blood hammering through his ears.
It’s a little rushed, a tad rough, the way he presses his lips back to yours. The way his beard grazes against your most sensitive spot, and the gasp he swears he hears lift from your tongue.
But fuck, he’s missed this, the way he always does – without knowing, without actively thinking about it, without knowing it was even at home waiting for him. If his mind weren’t on an entirely different planet right now, he’d curse that goddamn chain link for holding him up, for keeping him away longer than thirty seconds from the sweet little angel resting in his bed, and the sweet little pussy between her legs.
He parts your thighs wider, tongue dipping lower and deeper as he laps at your core, almost fucking panting against it.
You squirm lazily beneath him, shoulders tensing and untensing, a half-limp wrist lifting to pet his hair and an attempt at his name between your lips. Joel, you whimper, thick with sleep and something more dangerous.
I know, baby, he’s telling you, I know, and his tongue slips inside again. His hips grind into the mattress, cock an agonizing stiff against the sturdy edge. He can feel the wet in his boxers, the precome sticking to the inside of the cotton.
Fuck, he wants to be inside you so badly, so desperately.
Another gasp sputters across your lips, cut short in your throat when his teeth bump against your clit.
Too hungry, too brash, he thinks. You’re too soft, too open for him to let it go to waste. Not like this.
He pulls back, a filthy thread of arousal and saliva between his open lips and yours, and places a sodden kiss to the inside of your thigh.
But you whine, you poor little thing – your head twisting to the other side, a second hand now blindly surfing across his shoulder, past the brush of his beard and sifting through his still-chilly hair. The loss of attention to your pussy aching between your legs; your hips lifting weakly to meet the scratch of his chin again.
And that same sound – that same Jo-oel – a sound like song, like saccharine dripping over his shoulders.
So, he lifts a hand – two middle fingers coming together to push open your cunt, instantly sliding in knuckle-deep. Sucked in by the wet mess left behind by his lips, stretching you out with slow, round movements.
You’re slowly stirring, blossoming from your sleep and turning slowly back into this world. The cold edges seeping in, the warm flush of pleasure sharpening at their meeting. He’d do anything, he thinks, to keep you here; keep you teetering on the edge, tangled up between your world and his.
J– oh, fu-uck, you whine, and he can tell you’re still blinkered by sleep. But you grind on him again – a long, languid movement which seems to spatter out at its end when the coarse hair of his beard catches against your clit.
The breath stops in your throat, punching out in a shuddered moan. Joel could come just from the sound of it.
You gonna give me one, baby girl? he pleads, forearms clamping down on the underside of your thighs. Desperate – desperate to feel you, hear you, taste you as you come undone. Just one.
You’re writhing around beneath him, as needy as he is. A winding which matches his, coiling at the bottom of your stomach; a feeling which pulls at the corners of your lips and shocks them into a smutty, half-conscious smile. Your eyes roll back, fluttering open and then snapping shut when the light floods in.
There, you say, clearest so far, movements the strongest he’s felt. Your fingers root in his hair, rough over his scalp. Keep – keep doin’ that.
Joel smiles against your mound; a cocky thing, emboldened by the sound of that little Texan twang, the curl of an accent which doesn’t belong to you. Rather, a result of your years spent with him, watching the way his mouth shapes the words, learning the low swing and swirling melody of his tongue.
As if he’s as alive within you as he is within himself; every little thing Joel knows is him, injected into your bloodstream – his dry wit, his blunt honesty, his thick fingers and his insatiable tongue.
He slips in a third, flicking them perfectly inside of you. Beckoning your release; tongue sitting in wait, a resting point for you to grind your clit against.
And he wants it as much as you do: wants to feel the clamping of your body around him, wants to taste the flood of your orgasm as it shocks through every bone in your body.
Wants to pull three soaked, pruned fingers from your pussy and slip them over your tongue, letting you clasp your fingers around his wrist; watching the half-dozing flutter of your eyelashes as you suckle on them and make those pretty little sounds for him.
Your hand knots tighter in his hair, pelvis circling steady against his suckling lips. He can smell it on you: smell the need seeping from your pores. The sleep spilling from the corners of your mouth, the happy whimpers and quiet cries for more, more, Joel, more.
And – Shit, he breathes against you, feeling a sudden rush of electricity he knows all too well between his hips. Not now, not now not before he’s been inside – Shit, baby, gotta let me go.
You whine in refusal – a petulant sound, all stubborn and greedy. ‘m so close, I –
Pretty bird, he groans, lifting his jaw. He places a messy kiss to the crease between your core and your thigh, wrist stammering with his sudden movements. You gotta – you gotta let go, you’re gonna make me come –
You’re echoing him, mumbling the words gonna, gonna come – fuck, Joel, ‘m gonna –
Shit.
Not – Fuck – not right n– Christ, baby girl, you’re gonna – you’re –
Your walls spasm, clamping and relaxing, squeezing around his huge fingers. But it’s not that – it’s not the gush of warm fluid which seeps from between your legs, coating his knuckles and dripping into his palm.
It’s not the arch of your back, the way your breasts lift to the ceiling and his shirt slips below one nipple. Not the way your head rolls back against the mattress, a broken moan tearing in shards from your throat.
No.
It’s the way your hands leave his hair in an instant, and grip around the leather on your thigh. Skin stretching thin over your knuckles, thumbs between the strap and your sticky skin; hips still riding out your high as you ground yourself, holding onto his holster.
And it makes Joel come. Hard.
Harder than he knew possible, grinding against a mattress and the inside of his fucking jeans.
He falls forward, breathing a guttural moan into the soft swell of your stomach below your navel, fingers hooking into the baggy shirt around your arms.
Shitshitshit, he pants, feeling the warm ejaculate spurt from his cock and all over the inside of his boxers. Oh, fuck, baby. Fuck me.
His hips shudder a few more times, pressing hard into the edge of the mattress before he’s coming down, slowing to a stop – still a leaden weight on your stomach. His cock almost painful, overstimulated and oversensitive.
But then – something gently tittering. A bird singing, cooing above his head. The ground beneath his temple shakes, tremors with laughter. The dust twinkles in the sunlight, now brighter, golden, streaming through the window.
You’re awake.
Joel drags his gaze upwards, bleary and glazed with sex, and catches your eye.
Feel good? you ask, sifting hair away from his damp forehead. When was the last time that happened? Fourteen?
I don’t wanna talk about it, he mumbles into your belly.
Your chest jumps, a laugh which echoes into Joel’s ear. Tastes that good, huh?
It takes a mighty effort for him to push up on his palms, slowly crawling up the length of your body until his elbows plant firm into the mattress either side of your head. He groans as he lowers his lips, parting them to let you slip your tongue inside.
The kiss is slow, tender. Your bodies melding together, teeth clacking and jaws moving in sync. A sharp taste, sweet with a singe of bitterness to it. Perfect, you think, smirking against Joel’s cool lips.
He pulls away, lips tickling the tip of your nose deliberately.
With a giggle, you push on his chest. You should shower. You smell like patrol.
Joel cocks an eyebrow. You comin’ in with me?
Nope. I got even more laundry to do now, old man.
He entertains the quip with a subtle smile, a thing which softens the creases on his face and lights a twinkle in his eyes. Quietly, genuinely, in a way which makes your heart ache a little, he whispers, Sorry I was workin’, pretty bird.
You shrug. ‘s okay. You made up for it. And – I found your holster. You lift your knee, letting the buckle shine in the sunlight.
You did that, Joel agrees, nodding and glancing down at the thing. He hooks a finger around the strap, giving it a little shake. Maybe I oughta lose it more often.
Hm, you shrug, or I can just keep it safe for ya. Looks good, don’t it?
He feigns a disappointed smile, a resigned sigh before he looks back up.
Better ‘n when I wear it, he admits, and his lips crash down to yours again.
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