#slutty philadelphia jess

[frazzledsoul]

Slutty Philadelphia Jess's Potential Partners Across TVdom: Bicurious Edition

I can't get the original post to show up in the tags, but if you want to see the lady side of the equation, it can be found here

Dan Humphrey (Gossip Girl)

Dan is smart, well-read, witty, has humble roots (sort of), and like Jess has experience with trying (and sometimes failing) to deal with the excesses and judgments of the elite. They can banter over books and movies, have lots of NYC adventures, and will probably end up being the most pretentious gay couple of all time. They might end up getting married.

(fun fact: Penn Badgeley and Milo were roommates in the late 00s and Penn used to steal his ID to get into clubs)

Dane Whitman (Eternals)

Okay, not a TV show and it's unlikely anyone involved in this project will ever appear again. I don't care. Dane is intelligent, talkative, a total nerd, and has a great ass. He also has experience dealing with flighty women who are incapable of making up their mind. According to lore that will never be explored (fuck you Marvel), he also has a thorny family history and a hereditary curse that threatens to doom him. Jess is related to Liz, so he understands that all too well. It also is my fervent desire to see Kit Harington and Milo Ventimiglia in some sort of project together. So in my head, they will be making out a lot and trading snazzy sweaters.

Sam Winchester (Supernatural)

If Dean and Jess can never have the torrid affair they deserve, I will settle for his doppelganger. Sam is rustic, good with his hands, and also has a thorny family history. You know you want it, boys.

Peter Petrelli (Heroes)

I mean, who wouldn't want to hook up with their angsty superpowered AU self?

[saltygilmores]

(and uh, some context for that second to last item...)

[disasterbiwriter]

FWIW this is who I picture when we invoke Slutty Philadelphia Jess.

Literati AU • Rory Gilmore has finally graduated from Harvard and is one step closer to becoming the next Christiane Amanpour, but challenges arise as she has to work alongside reporter Jess Mariano.

Or: Rory meets Jess for the first time working as a journalist.

[disasterbiwriter]

I'm sorry in advance I'm only gonna treat you bad I'm probably gonna let you down I'm probably gonna sleep around So sorry in advance Before you take off your pants I wouldn't let me near your friends I wouldn't let me near your dad

But don't blame me, blame Brett Blame my ex, blame my ex, blame my ex

[halloweentv]

Netflix and chills!

v.2017

Celebrate Halloween on Netflix! Below is a list of Halloween themed shows and movies available on Netflix streaming that you can play for Halloween! Enjoy!

Stranger Things

S1 After a game of D and D with his friends Will disappears. His friends try to find him but instead find a mysterious girl

S2

Takes place during Halloween and the boys dress as the ghostbusters. 

Supernatural S4 It’s the Great Pumpkin Sam Winchester” Investigating two mysterious deaths in a small town, Sam and Dean discover a witch is sacrificing people to summon a dangerous demon. 

Friends

S8 “The One with the Halloween Party” At Monica’s Halloween party, Phoebe becomes attracted to her two sister’s fiancé.

Frasier

S5 “Halloween” Niles hosts a Halloween party for the Library Association where the guests dress as literary characters.

S9 “Room full of heroes” Frasier has a Halloween party and asks his guests to dress as their heroes. 

American Horror Story

S1 “Halloween Part 1 & 2″ the ghosts can leave the house on halloween night. Tate runs into some ghosts from his past. S3 “Fearful Pranks Ensue” the witches raise the dead on Halloween S4 “Edward Mordrake Part 1 & 2″ the freaks don’t want to perform on halloween in fear of a ghost coming to visit.

Freaks and Geeks “Tricks and Treats” - Lindsay spends Halloween making mischief with her new friends while Sam goes trick or treating even though he’s in High School now.

Parenthood S2 “Orange Alert” The Bravermen’s gear up to celebrate their favorite holiday, Halloween! Max wants to go trick or treating for the first time, so his parents do their best to prepare him for the night, since he is on the spectrum.

Parks and Recreation S2 “Greg Pikitis” Leslie enlists the help of Dave and Andy in order to catch a local teen vandal. Meanwhile, Ann struggles to make her Halloween party fun and gets help from an unlikely source. S4 “Meet n Greet” Ben is mad when Andy and April decide to throw a Halloween party at their house without asking him. Tom emcees an event for Leslie’s campaign but manages to also promote his company. Meanwhile, Ron and Ann give Andy and April an unusual wedding present.

13 Reasons Why

“Tape 2 Side B” Its Halloween in the present and Clay strikes back at someone who wronged Hannah. In the past Hannah thinks someone is stalking her. 

Jem

S2 “Trick or Techrat” Jem and friends encounter spooky mishaps while preparing an old opera house for a Halloween concert

Fuller House

S2 “Curse of Tanner Manor” DJ attempts to throw the scariest Halloween party for Max. Stephanie works as a zombie at a haunted house.

Star Trek TOS

S2 “Catspaw” Kirk and the crew land on a planet with a spooky castle and witches.

Pac’s Scary Halloween

Sinister Dr. Pacenstein schemes to swap bodies with Pac during a Halloween party.

Pac Man and the Ghostly Adventures

S1 “A Berry Scary Night”  Count Pacula attempts to drain the last yellow orb in Pac World on Halloween night. 

S2 “The Shadow of the were-pac” Pac and his friends are confronted by spooky space ghost pirates. 

The Real Ghostbusters

S1 “When Halloween was forever” An ancient spirit shows up in New York to make Halloween last forever. And Frankenstein is groovin!

S2 “Halloween II ½” While everyone is trick or treating on Halloween Sam Hain escapes.

S4 “The Halloween Door” Crowley wants to end Halloween once and for all and does so even without the help of the ghost busters. 

Cult of Chucky

Chucky has some scores to settle with some old enemies.

Young Frankenstein

In this pitch perfect parody, the grandson of the infamous Dr. Frankenstein follows in his footsteps and creates a monster and puts on the ritz!

Tales of Halloween

Anthology series of shorts set on Halloween. Including trick or treating aliens and kidnappers in way over their heads.

Mr. Young

S3 “Mr. Candy” The gang are hungover from too much candy the previous night and struggle to put together the events from Halloween.

Cheers

S3 “Fairy tales can come true” Cliff meets the woman of his dreams at the bar on Halloween night but is afraid of meeting her when he’s not in costume. 

S10 “Bar Wars V: The Final Judgement” Sam’s latest trick may have killed Gary, but is it really Gary who is playing the trick on Sam?

Charmed S3 “All Halliwell’s Eve” The sister’s go to the 1600’s to save a witch and her baby

Family Guy S9 “Halloween on Spooner Street” Stewie’s candy is stolen by bullies

F is for Family

S1 F is for Halloween” Frank secretly torpedoes Sue’s shot at a real job and a bully leaves Bill afraid to don his costume.

How I met Your Mother S1 “Slutty Pumpkin” Ted holds out hope of seeing the Slutty Pumpkin, a girl he met at a Halloween before. S7 “The Slutty Pumpkin Returns” Ted finally meets the slutty pumpkin again.

Girl Meets World

S1 “Girl Meets World of Terror″ Augie hosts scary Halloween tales and meets a monster under his bed.

S2 “Girls Meets World of Terror 2″ Riley and Maya discover the ghost a flapper living in the bay window. 

S3 “Girl Meets World of Terror 3″ Augie does a scary time theater and shows what the world would be like if Riley and Maya never became friends. 

Power Rangers S1 “Trick or Treat” Kimberly goes on a Halloween game show…cuz those exist. S1 “Life’s a Masquerade” Isn’t set on Halloween but has a cool Frankenstein monster in it. and costumes. S2 “Zedd’s Monster Mash” Tommy faces some real Halloween monsters after he’s kidnapped by Goldar. 

Power Rangers Samurai “Party Monsters” and “Trickster Treat”

Power Rangers Megaforce “Raising Spirits” 

Power Rangers Dino Charge “The Ghostest with the Mostest” and in Dino Super Charge “Trick or Trial”

Dreamworks Spooky Stories “Scared Skrekless” Shrek and Co tell scary stories “Monsters vs Aliens Mutant pumpkins” Ginormica and co battle mutant pumpkins! Dreamworks Spooky Stories Vol. 2 “Monsters Vs Aliens: night of the Living Carrots” Picks up right after the previous special Also included another MVA short, Megamind, and Shrek.

From R.L. Stine: Monsterville A group of kids find out a haunted maze at the carnival is more realistic than they thought.

Mostly Ghostly 3

As Max tries to help his ghost pals Nicky and Tara find their parents, he stumbles on an enchanted crystal–and an evil new plot by Phears. 

Goosebumps

Good show for the season but the Halloween episodes in particular are S5 “The Haunted Mask” Carly Beth’s scary mask begins to change her. S5 “The Haunted Mask 2” A boy’s creepy Halloween mask won’t come off and begins to harm him. S2 “Attack of the Jack O'Lanterns” Jack O‘Lantern aliens terrorize some trick or treaters. 

Goosebumps Movie

A teen moves to a new town and falls for the girl next door but soon finds out her dad is R.L. Stine and his book characters become all too real. 

The Haunting Hour series

Another good show for the season. The halloween episode is S2 “Pumpkinhead” - a group of siblings fear the legend of a farmer who takes kids heads and turns them into pumpkins.

————- Glee S2 the class attempts to out on a performance of Rocky Horror for Halloween. 

New Girl S2 “Halloween” Jess gets hired as a zombie at a haunted house. S3 “Keaton” Jess hosts a Halloween party and a Michael Keaton batman costume helps cheer up Schmidt. Spooky Buddies The buddies encounter the Halloween Hound and evade an evil sorceror on Halloween night. . Louie S3 “Halloween/Ellie” Louie takes his daughters trick or treating and encounter some punks.

Malcolm in the Middle S2 “Halloween Approximately” -Malcolm and his brothers build the ultimate stealth weapon. S7 “Halloween” - Reese and Dewey evade an old man they egged while Loos tries to get out of work so she can trick or treat. 

My Babysitter’s a Vampire S2  "Halloweird" In a total “not rip off” of Buffy, a mask makes people turn into real-life versions of their costumes.

The Vampire Diaries S1 “Haunted” Matt takes Vicky to a haunted hous ebut the night takes a terrifying turn

That 70’s Show S2 “Halloween” The gang visit their old burnt down school while Kitty remincies about their first Halloween in the house. S3 “Too Old to Trick or Treat, Too young to Die” A Halloween episode filled with parodies of Alfred Hitchcock movies: “Rear Window”, “Vertigo”, “The Birds”, “North By Northwest” and “Psycho”.

CSI Miami “By the Book” A body is found that appears to have had the blood drained by a Vampire

Bones “Mummy in the Maze” A mummy found in a Halloween maze leads to an investigation. Bones has a Wonder-ful costume!

The Office S2 Halloween Downsizing leads corporate headquarters to order Michael to fire somebody by the end of October. Michael procrastinates until Halloween, when he still has not decided whom to fire. When he decides to fire Creed, Creed manages to convince Michael to fire Devon. S6 Koi Pond While on the way to a business meeting, Michael falls into a koi pond. The staff tease him so he holds an anti-bullying seminar. Pam and Andy go cold-calling to stir up some new business; they reluctantly use clients’ mistaking them as a couple to their advantage. S7 Costume Contest Michael freaks out when Darryl goes over his head by taking an idea to corporate. The employees partake in a Halloween costume contest in the office. Meanwhile, Pam tries to get the truth from Danny about their dating history. S8 Spooked Erin works to make a spooky, non-childish Halloween party, with help from Gabe. Dwight becomes friends with Robert’s son, and Pam and Jim debate the existence of ghosts. Meanwhile, Robert tries to figure out everyone’s deepest fears in order to culminate a ghost story.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia S6 “Who got Dee Pregnant” The gang think back to their Halloween party to figure out who got Dee pregnant.

Pretty Little Liars S2 “The First Secret” in a flashback some backstory to the mystery of A is revelaed. S3 “This is a Dark Ride” The girls get aboard the Rosewood ghost train S4 “Grave New World” A clue suggests that Ali may still be alive so they crash a cemetery party to find her.

[frazzledsoul]

I voted for the swanky apartment complex, although it's always been a headcanon of mine that he got a Macarthur Genius Grant in 2015 and bought a pretty nice house in Central Philly (I actually saw one on Zillow in Old Kensington that looked perfect, though maybe he wouldn't live in that neighborhood).

Anyway, I think he's made it a point to work out since his early Philly days and even if he slowed down the slut life a bit later he still likes to be healthy and look good.

canonically, ayitl rich daddy jess is buff. plus his effortless skateboarding and basketball comment from luke (which i still believe was him making something up to get luke off his back) leans toward novel boy being *gasp* athletic? NO! HE CAN’T BE SQUIRE! HE’S JUST A BOY!

[frazzledsoul]

I'm currently thinking how absurd it is that people's grand takeaway from Jess and Rory's scenes in AYITL is that "he's waiting for her" and "he's been obsessed with her since high school and refuses to move on" and "Rory saw him popping out of his tiny little denim shirt and commiserating with her in her office and STILL turned him down" when lol, none of that happened?

He outright told her his love life was "stable, nothing permanent" which indicates that he's dating around and getting laid, not waiting for his stepcousin to give him attention. It's Slutty Philadelphia Jess: The Remix, not endless pining. He doesn't initiate anything in either of their scenes, in part because he knew she still had a boyfriend and he's not messing with that love triangle shit again if he can avoid it and also because there are tons of people around (in the second case, they're literally hanging out with their extended family). Rory doesn't have anything to reject, and it's made perfectly clear he does have a pretty nice life without her.

And yes, some of those residual feelings are there, and maybe they did hook up in that giant empty mansion while talking about "work stuff" offscreen but none of that means that he was necessarily putting anything on hold for her. Those gigantic arm muscles are fueling the slutty remix for a reason, people.

[frazzledsoul]

There's relatively little about the backdoor pilot that indicates that Windward Circle was going to be much different from Gilmore Girls. It's still a town about a bunch of quirky townies that heavily features a bohemian single mom (who is quite obviously ASP's self insert). The townies just happen to be beach bums. ASP is also not really qualified to write in detail about Jess's Dickensian childhood or mental health issues. She just is not that type of writer. I think you see that at the end of season 6 as Liz starts to do some really ugly and disturbing things and it's played off as a sitcom plot. Jess didn't really belong in that setting any more than he did in Stars Hollow and I don't think the heavy focus on Jimmy would have worked. People like Liz and Christopher are tolerated for their parenting foibles as long as we don't have to see them every week, but I don't see that working on a full-time basis.

Jess needed an urban environment to start over and thrive, not another Stars Hollow. Then again, he does grow genuinely as a person in his time offscreen, and a lot of the characters who don't get as much screentime don't thrive as well under the original writing team. ASP does not believe in character development and given more time with Jess, I am not sure she would have done right by him.

Okay, so obviously, the blurry footage that exists of Windward Circle, in addition to the CA stuff from “Here Comes The Son,” is a little cringey and doesn’t seem to make a ton of sense. (How and why DOES Jess know how to skateboard that well????? Why is everyone in California inexplicably an asshole to him?)

That being said, I am picking up on threads of what Windward Circle could have been had the network picked it up. Aside from the fact that shooting on location in Venice was never a feasible option, the show would have needed to set an entirely different tone from Gilmore Girls proper to actually succeed. Like, you can’t put Jess and Jimmy into a Rory and Lorelai look-a-like contest and expect an audience to respond in the same way. In other words, you can’t just make Gilmore Girls with “less skirts.”

The meat of GG is the evolution of their close mother/daughter friendship. I just can’t imagine Jimmy and Jess in the same light or situations. It would look a lot more like: the fight on the boardwalk AND the scene where they meet at the diner: yelling/fighting or uncomfortable silence.

Now, I would find THIS sort of show compelling, if ASP had struck the right tone, setting, and back-and-forth between them (i.e. turn down the quirk and amp up the edge). I am intrigued by the idea of Jess the New Yorker finding himself in Southern California with his absentee father and his new, pseudo-family. However, I also wonder how Jess the Character would have carried a show, considering just how often he internalizes things and how little he engages with most people. The draw of GG is the push-and-pull. It’s both the said AND unsaid from Lorelai, Rory, and their family and friends. How would monosyllabic Jess play against Sasha, Lily, Jimmy, etc.? How would he fit into a SoCal world?

[saltygilmores]

Jess Mariano/Peter Petrelli

Two Milos for the price of one? Sign me up!

[saltygilmores]

Just Some Fandom Nicknames & Descriptors for Jess Mariano I've Seen Since Joining Tumblr That I Can Remember Including Some I Made Up Myself (Give Me More and I Will Add Them)

Smol Infant Blorbo Baby Boy Baby Girl Bisexual Gremlin/Goblin Disaster Gremlin/Disaster Goblin Little Guy Little Dude Silly Little Guy Sopping Wet Kitten Sad Wet Puppy Street Urchin Street Orphan Orphaned Kitten Sweaterpaws Slut Whore Skankbag Manwhore Slutty Little Guy Gigolo Walmartian Employee of the Month Diner Boy Wiener Lover Hipster Jess Slutty Jess Slutty Hipster Jess Slutty Philadelphia Jess Adult Jess Beefcake Jess Season 4 Jess with The Floppy Hair Strip Club Jess Pathetic Pitiful Charity Case A Therapist's Wet Dream Axe Murderer (RIP Shane)

[frazzledsoul]

An update:

Luke: Still refuses to watch it, but the rant he went on when he found out GRRM was going to do a Dunk and Egg show instead of finishing TWOW went on for about a week. "We should have imprisoned him next to that lake of acid when we had the chance!"

Lorelai: Quit season 2 after the AliCole sex was underwhelming.

Emily: Still won't watch it and her boyfriend has given up because no one is evil enough this season for his tastes.

Paris: She made Doyle dress up in that septa outfit after the Rhaenicent scene. It worked out pretty well for them.

Lane/Zach: They have zero interest. Loved the Richonne show. Zach is mad that Norman Reedus said it would be "more popular" if Rick were dead because now they'll never have a Rickyl reunion. They were actually psyched about the Jon Snow spin-off and are sad it was canceled. They are eagerly anticipating the Dark Jonsa movie.

Dean: He's very sad about Yellowstone being canceled.

Logan: He watches with his wife (not Odette, he married a feisty ginger lawyer who has the vibes of Rose Leslie in the interviews she did for the second season of Vigil which will make sense to no one but me but let's go with it) and then they talk about it with Rory and Jess in the group chat later. He's glad he never read the source material. He misses Succession.

Jess: He's beginning to feel sorry he read the source material because he's not sure the writers of this show did, either. He realizes it's just a popcorn show and tries not talking get too wrapped up on it. The new season doesn't have enough Aemond for him, although he and Rory do have epic sex after Ewan has a nude scene. Jess is reminded of the sex he had in 2000 (after reading the first three volumes of ASOIAF), 2005 (after reading AFFC and hooking up with a sarcastic sculptor from PAFA), 2011 (that time it was a classical studies grad student in Bryn Mawr, they argued for hours about the lore in ADWD)....if nothing else, this neverending franchise has been great for his personal life. He might watch the Aegon the Conqueror show if it happens. Maybe. (He does not think there will be any more ASOIAF books).

Rory: Still watching and participating in the group chat, but the Jaeharys stuff upset her and she's not sure she'll continue when it gets worse.

April: She is now secretly writing Heleagon fics on AO3and sending Communist Heleana memes. She's not watching the show that closely.

Liz/TJ: They got bored and don't bother watching anymore. TJ is a huge Bridgerton fan. Everyone is slightly confused.

Kirk: Still has never seen the show but his merch game has never been stronger.

How the Gilmore Girls crew feels about House of the Dragon, according to me

Sorry, Lorelai. Not going to happen.

Luke: refuses to watch because he’s not going to get anywhere near that thing until GRRM stops getting distracted by shiny objects and finishes TWOW. 

Lorelai: casual fan who can’t tell most of the characters apart, except for Criston Cole, because let’s face it, he is the prettiest of them all. 

Emily: LOL. She’s not getting near this. Her boyfriend watches it, because he’s literally the devil and is looking for tips.

Paris: Rhaenicent truther, of course.

Lane/Zach: Lane is personally too conservative for this show and they’re more Walking Dead people anyway. Zach still has a grudge over Jon Snow not killing the Night King. They are highly anticipating the Richonne show, though.

Dean: Has embraced his suburban dad ways and refuses to watch anything that’s not connected to Yellowstone.

Logan: prefers Succession, on which he is an secret consultant, but he does relate a bit too much to being on the blonde heir apparent who can never live up to expectations. 

Jess: The only person who actually read Fire and Blood (he finished it in a day and a half). Agrees it’s kind of terrible and GRRM probably can’t sustain a narrative to save his life at this point. Still, he’s a little too into Aemond Targaryen. The son ignored by his father, who nurses his grudges until everyone fears him instead of pities him, who destroys everything accidentally on purpose and fulfills everyone’s worst expectations? It’s a little too real. And we haven’t even gotten to the part where he’s pathetically in love. Logan tells him it’s just a mancrush on Ewan Mitchell and that’s why he watched World On Fire all the way to the end, but Rory loved that one because World On Fire is about a confused brunette who can’t choose between his gorgeous blonde and and his gorgeous brunette love interest, and who knows more about that than her? Also, Masterpiece Theatre and chill has long been a tradition in the Literati household. 

Rory: Tried reading Fire and Blood but quit after the first twenty pages. Sympathized with Rhaenyra at first but then realized her laziness and terrible decision making reminded her too much of her worst moments, so now her favorite is Alicent.

April: Secretly the top author on AO3 of Heleana/Aemond fics. Sends Jess a lot of Aemond communist memes.

Liz/TJ: I figure they’d root for the lowest common denominator in terms of fan preferences, so they’re into Daemyra.

Kirk: Has never seen an episode of the show, but is earnestly trying to sell Team Green vs Team Black memorabilia.

[frazzledsoul]

Magazine ads of yore: Milo Ventimiglia edition

Yes, guys, that's absolutely a 17-year-old boy in that still, not a grown ass man. Anyway, moving on.

Don't judge him. It took a while for us to get the Calvin Klein ad days out of our system.

Sooooo dark and moody!

Milo in the slutty Philadelphia Jess/Peter Petrelli era. Why does Greg Grunberg look.so confused?

The beginning of the slut era

Still in the slut era

Ten years later, the slut era has not worn off.

Guys, we don't care. We are here for the DILFness.

The pap shot that broke the Internet. Don't say Just Jared never did anything for us.

[frazzledsoul]

[frazzledsoul]

I almost don't want to give the Palladinos credit here, but I half think that there was something going on offscreen with Jess around episodes 5 and 6 of Season 5 of Gilmore Girls. Episode 5 is the wretched double date episode where Luke and Dean fight, and Episode 6 is the one where Lorelai finds out that Sherry left Gigi with her worthless father and Rory seeks out Christopher and tells him to stay away from Lorelai before he screws up her life again.

I believe Jess is only mentioned in these two episodes. In the double date episode, Luke is ranting about how Dean is not good for Rory (Lorelai's response is that "their problems were mutual" and Luke "doesn't know the whole story" which is funny because those additional details would definitely not endear Luke to the guy) and Lorelai asks if she should date Jess instead (Paris AND Marty are right there, Lorelai. Just sayin').

In episode 6, Luke and Lorelai bicker over the porch light being broken and Lorelai says the last person to change it was Dean and again argues on his behalf because Jess never bothered to change the light.

At this point in the story, Rory is still dating Dean and realizing the only thing they have in common is misplaced nostalgia and is trying to corner Logan to get the lowdown on the Life and Death Brigade. Rory has her adventure with the LDB the next episode and Dean dumps her the episode after that when he sees her partying with Logan and his friends. She's in the process of moving on with her life and leaving Dean behind.

So what was going on with Jess? I figure the final rejection by Rory probably gave him the push he needed to write the book, end his mediocre "messenger" career, probably get his GED, and move to Philadelphia to start his new life (and of course, begin the Slutty Philadelphia Jess era). Obviously that doesn't happen all at once, so I figure he probably wasn't ready to move until at least the spring/fall, but things had likely begun to progress by this point and Luke probably knew he was planning to move and had mentioned it to Lorelai...who is still dubious, still pushing for Dean over Jess, still trying to rationalize Rory's affair even as the incident seems to have moved her further back into the past, not the future (and likely trying to be supportive so that Rory doesn't push her away again, because she now knows Rory can and will stop talking to her and will bring up Lorelai's own mistakes if she feels she's being too judgmental).

Meanwhile, Jess is actually moving forward offscreen instead of trying to relive his high school years. Would have been nice to see some of that.

Milo was unavailable during this time, as he was a season regular on NBC's American Dreams. They had a shortened season, but networks aren't always amenable to lending out their actors to the competition (the only other season Milo doesn't pop in as a guest star after he left the show is season 7, when he again was a regular on another NBC show). I don't think this was necessarily planned ahead of time, but the backstory works nicely for what was going on with Jess at the time.

[saltygilmores]

Top 3 Slutty Philadelphia Jess headcanons

A scene that mirrors that one episode in s4, with Jess in place of Paris’ crusty old man boyfriend, entertaining hordes of book groupies at one of his book signings

He’s into social media now and maintains a popular presence on MySpace

When Rory leaves after that whole stunt she pulls in 6x18 he just shrugs and goes on his merry way. The hoes are waiting!

He is going to college part time while working at Truncheon, at school he maintains a slutty reputation

After his books start to become popular he has to wrestle with being “known” or moderately “famous” (I know that more than one fic has explored this already)

He does not live in a cramped dirty apartment above his place of employment (again) with multiple room mates but has a very sweet luxury apartment in Philly to bring all of his babes home to

Basically, he becomes a wealthy fuckboy who is a less shitty version of Logan and idc 😁 I spit in the face of canon!

That was more than 3 🤭