#slowly realized that my perspective of this song

[bloodybellycomb]

Teenagers by my chemical romance is the most relatable song of all time because when you first listen to it as a teenager you're like "hell yes! I do scare the shit out of everyone! 😈" But than you become an adult and you suddenly realize that "oh my god, teenagers really do scare the shit out of me." Truly an anthem for all ages.

[demonic0angel]

Celestial Bodies AU (part 4/?)

(Part one, part two, part three, part five, part six, part seven. Also on AO3)

Dick paused, tilting his head.

He was on a spacecraft near Tamaran, watching his star through a live feed on his tablet. His friends sat around him, some watching the cluster alongside him over his shoulder. Kory was behind him, encasing him in her arms.

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

Dick frowned. “I don’t know. Something is really, really wrong.”

Kory grew quiet again, listening to the song of the stars. It was loud and fast paced, almost frantic. Behind the song, if Dick concentrated enough, he could also hear… screaming.

He almost didn’t know if it was real or not, but it had gone on for a few hours, so he wasn’t sure.

The song covering it was almost like that of a mother singing a lullaby to quickly comfort their child. The stars seemed frantic as they sang, but visually, they didn’t look any different from usual.

His star and all of the others were slow today. They seemed to be circling their sister, the quasar, who looked smaller than usual as well.

Most of the time, her enormous size almost dwarfed her siblings. Her rings of light were so wide that she made her baby siblings look like marbles and even his own star occasionally struggled to be noticed within her glow.

But now, she was still and her size seemed small, even small compared to the protostar. Her accretion disks were pale and her jet was thin and weak.

Was she the one screaming?

But why?

Dick mumbled to himself in confusion, "What's going on—?"

Light flashed across the screen and then she went supernova.

The shockwaves impacted the spacecraft hard, hard enough that the camera shook and blurred the view. The ship rocked and creaked with a screeching noise so loudly that it could be heard through the screen.

For a moment, Dick was excited as he perked up and waited for the dust to settle so he could see into the cluster.

But his stomach dropped when he looked out the camera again and saw nothing but only three stars in various forms of their lives.

No, surely, his eyes were wrong.

One, two, three.

Where was the quasar?

He futilely tilted the screen, as if it would somehow change the perspective of the camera and reveal the quasar hiding behind her siblings.

"No... no! No, no, no! Why is there only three?! Where did she go?!"

"Dick! What has happened? What does that mean?" Kory asked as the Teen Titans crowded around him. Even the others who had been distracted doing something else turned to look at him. The ones close to him all surrounded him with reassuring and comforting presences, trying to calm him down as Dick descended into hysterics.

Dick hurriedly pressed on the buttons, trying to change the camera, get different perspectives, hopefully see something new and not what he was beginning to realize was true. He hoped and prayed that maybe the quasar had turned into something else. A small star, maybe a dwarf.

Anything.

Anything but gone.

“No, no, no! Did any of you see anything?!” He turned to his teammates, who stared at him with horror and worry.

Raven said slowly, “No. We didn’t see anything except for the quasar going supernova.”

“That quasar was Jason’s! And both of our stars are linked to us— when I became Nightwing, my star also went supernova when I grew up. But Jason’s star is gone!” When he saw that his teammates didn’t seem to comprehend what he was saying, he said, “Our stars are connected to us. If the quasar is gone, then that means that…!”

He didn’t want to say it.

His teammates’ eyes widened. They were slowly beginning to understand.

Kory covered her mouth. “Dick…! What does this mean? Are you suggesting that—?”

Vic stood up hurriedly. “I’ll go to the computer, and look into it right now.”

Gar quickly hurried to follow Vic to the main computer while Dick crumpled to his knees with a sob. Kory caught him and the two of them fell onto the floor as she hugged him securely. He clutched back at her just as desperately, but his eyes could not help but look at the camera feed again, where the galaxy had frozen in place.

He didn’t know why they weren’t moving, perhaps a mixture of shock and grief? Maybe some sort of astrophysics reason, since the quasar’s gravitational pull was the one who was mainly holding the little galaxy together when Dick’s star changed. Maybe some weird way of star mourning. Maybe it was nothing, and Dick was going crazy because surely, surely, his little brother was not dead.

His little brother who he had not appreciated enough.

He clutched his eyes shut and forcefully turned away from the Phantom Cluster to bury his face into Kory’s neck. He felt other hands on his shoulders and arms and back, just comforting presences and sources of warmth.

He barely held back from tearing up, praying that Vic would come back with better news. That maybe there was a misunderstanding.

Anything.

Footsteps skittered into the room and everyone looked up.

Gar stared at them with wide eyes. He visibly gulped and then looked at Dick as his blood ran cold.

“I’m sorry.”

Jason Todd, the second Robin, was dead.

————

It took Dick a week before he could go back home. Every day, he just stared at the stars, at the little galaxy where his star sat in silence. There was no more singing, no more chatter, nothing that showed that the stars and planets that inhabited that strange galaxy were sentient besides their still positions in space.

Kory held him every night as Dick mourned for a little brother he did not really know.

And every day, he waited for a call from Batman. A notification, a message, a fucking telepathic signal, anything.

Nothing came.

Dick’s panicking and crying faded by the fourth day and he grew wane from the lack of communication between him and Bruce. For a moment, he almost wanted to go back to Earth straight away just to tear Bruce a new one, but his duties kept him away.

He checked on the camera feed of his star, but it showed nothing. Like him, the stars seemed to also cry for their lost sibling.

Inwardly, Dick was immensely guilty for how grateful he felt for the fact that the quasar also died, uniting him and his star in grief. He wished that the emotions inside of him couldn’t be known by his star, but he had seen what had happened when bad people had met the cluster, and he knew that they were probably aware of his feelings.

He was also grateful that his star did not abandon him despite his inner ugliness.

When he got back, he was met with Danny’s callous and cold remarks about Jason’s death. He had promptly thrown him out and then visited Jason’s grave.

Jason Todd

Rest In Peace.

A cold, emotionless, apathetic tombstone. There was nothing else, no anecdote, no notes, nothing. Dick drew comfort from Kory again and then he went to hunt down Bruce.

That didn’t go well either.

Months passed.

The hurt did not ease and every waking moment when he could, Dick spent at least a few minutes with his star. They were still silent, but as time passed, the cluster began to move again, around and around an empty space that was clearly meant for their sister.

Oh, how strange it was to see stars mourn and grieve just like how humans did.

(Sometimes, they were still so human-like that it was terrifying.)

Dick sat with his star in the control room, watching the celestial bodies whirl around in space in subdued, quiet circles. The singing did not start again, but it was okay. Sometimes, his star spoke to him when he got too worried.

At other times, the one who spoke to him was the King of the cluster, the neutron star who protected his cluster with his remaining light even while he was only a star corpse, that fed his siblings with his supernova remnants, the one who was a hero, just like Robin, when he was still alive and human.

The interstellar medium left behind by their quasar sister was ignored, floating in space in purple, pink, red, and blue hues.

Dick wondered if Robin was reborn as a star somewhere out there.

But then thinking of his star and this cluster, it probably wasn't likely.

They were extremely possessive. If Jason was reborn as a star, he would've been collected and brought here.

(But that meant he was truly gone forever.)

Dick felt like the grief would never disappear.

But just like these stars, the world kept moving.

A boy forced Bruce to take him on as Robin. To help him with his grief. To help him save Gotham. To help him become his best and truest version of Batman again.

Dick disagreed but he knew that the kid wouldn't be obedient. He stepped in to help Bruce train him, so another child wouldn't be sacrificed to Batman's cause.

Dick couldn't have another death on his hands. In order to make things right, he had to train him.

How many more children would be picked up and trained and discarded like him?

(Like Jason?)

How many until Bruce had enough?

Dick was back in the space station again. The cluster was a little more energetic today. His star was spinning around the empty spot again, with his brother and sister following them. The two larger planets, the ones that were considered part of the family of stars, were also excitedly spinning around the stars.

Dick tapped the glass. "My star? What's going on today?"

There was only a crackling silence. It was almost eerie without the singing, but Dick had gotten used to it.

Suddenly, the nebula that had been left behind began to converge.

Dick froze as he watched the glittering star material contort and bend into one spot. There was a small flash of light, then several, and then a burst of sparks appeared before a black mass was formed in the middle of the empty space. It was relatively small at first, but then it grew until it was bigger than the neutron star and protostar, only dwarfed by Dick’s own star.

All of the astronomical objects then began to spin with wild energy. The neutron star himself spun into a pulsar, casting rays of cold electromagnetic energy every time the light passed through the windows.

Dick's jaw dropped as he stared out the window in slow-growing recognition as the black mass stayed still and quiet, as if asleep.

Both Dick and his star spoke up at the same time then, one with relieved happiness and the other with shocked disbelief.

"She's back."

"He's alive!"

|||||||||||||||||||||||

Me: Ah yes my wholesome space themed series

Also me: *kills Jason and Jazz*

Was looking up what Dick’s reaction was to Jason’s death and why did I discover a character named Danny Chase who becomes someone named Phantasm… 🤨 he was such a little asshole too jfc. Also! Please suspend your disbelief on how Dick finds out so fast (since Batman wouldn’t have been able to put it in the computer that fast). Time and computer works differently in space… or something

I almost left this as a fic with Dick mourning for Jason, but I decided to make it a somewhat happy ending with Jazz coming back as well.

You also might have noticed that I use the word “cluster” now instead of “galaxy” and that’s bc I always refer to Danny’s star cluster as “little” and clusters are smaller versions of galaxies.

I’m learning as I go 😭

The Robins and Phantoms are in a codependent and mutualistic relationship. Usually, whatever happens to the Robins will also affect the stars they bonded with, but the reverse won’t happen bc the Phantoms are extremely protective of them and (also extremely protected by Clockwork). I’m doing as much research as I can in order to make the DCU characters’ lives accurate.

I can't wait for Damian to arrive, I want to get into Sam and her planet already

Edit: omg I think I switched Garth (Aqualad) and Gar (Beast Boy)

[blahblahblees]

Hey there!!!

This is my first time requesting on Tumblr and I am not sure if you're accepting requests or not so if you aren't feel free to ignore it.

Can you please write a short drabble on Rodrick and the reader being neighbours and the reader liking him but not telling him because he likes Heather. And then everything happening at rodrick's party.

And all the drama can go according to your imagination!

I am sorry for my bad English.

Have a good day/night/evening/afternoon.

Thank you.

ヽ｀、☁ヽ｀─── make you mine ミ rodrick heffley

✎ ·˚ ༘ ─── reader has a crush on rodrick but his eyes seemed to be locked on heather hills, but when greg takes notice of rodrick’s lyrics, his perspective begins to change.

wc: 1,333

movie!rodrick heffley x fem!reader (use of she/her pronouns), the use of y/n (your name)

tw: kissing (?)

a/n: your english is wonderful :)

HEATHER HILLS. The way her name rolled off of the tongue made her seethed in ways she couldn’t explain. It wasn’t because she was jealous of her, she knew that Heather Hills was gorgeous, but she (herself) was also just as beautiful. She liked her hair, she liked her body, she liked her style, and she liked Rodrick Heffley.

But his eyes seemed to be locked on Heather Hills. He always talked about her long blonde hair and how her outfits just perfectly fit her. It was Heather Hills this and Heather Hills that… but she let him go on about her.

It was an awful thing to do to herself, but here she was, once again, sitting with him in his dining room as he explained his plan to her.

His band, Löded Diper, had somehow convinced Heather to perform at her birthday party. She didn't know how they convinced her to let them play or even why for that matter, but it was good enough for Rodrick.

Her eyes watched as Rodrick scribbled down songs for them to potentially play at her party along with some newer lyrics that would "tell her how much he loved her", which she didn't quite understand. Rodrick hadn't really known Heather for long, quite literally meeting her at school when he was picking up Greg.

"... So, what do you think?"

She looked up from Rodrick's notebook and towards him. She was so in her own mind that she hadn't realized that he'd been speaking to her.

"I'm sorry." She muttered. "What did you say?"

"I asked if the hook should be changed so it fits for the party..." He answered. "Are you listening?"

"Yeah... yeah." She answered, sitting upright in her seat. "Sorry." She apologized once more and quickly gathered her belongings.

"What's wrong?" Rodrick asked, his brows furrowed by her sudden movements. "Where are you going?"

"I should head home." She said. "My mom is expecting me soon and I have to help her with dinner tonight."

Rodrick nodded, slowly standing up and following the girl to the front door. "I'll see you at Heather's party tomorrow, right?"

She closed her eyes for a moment before turning, her hand resting on the doorknob as she looked at him. She really didn't want to go to Heather's party and had planned on it, in fact, she was pretty sure it was an invite-only party and she hadn't gotten an invitation from the girl.

But she was pretty sure that Rodrick was going to find a way for her to get inside, invite or not.

So, she took in a small breath and nodded. "See you there."

With that, she quickly shut the door behind her and headed towards her car, and sped out of the Heffley driveway.

"I can't believe some of the stuff you write in here."

Rodrick quickly turned at the sound of the voice. It was Greg. He was standing at the dining room table with his eyes locked on Rodrick's songbook.

"Is this what being in love is like for you?" Greg asked. "If so, she just went out the door without a kiss goodbye."

Rodrick quickly marched over towards him and grabbed the book before he quickly hit Greg with it. "What are you talking about, dork?"

Greg muttered something under his breath, rubbing his arm in the process. "That stuff... that stuff you call music. That's about Y/N, isn't it?"

"What?" Rodrick scoffed. "No. This is for Heather's birthday tomorrow."

"You're going to sing a love song to another girl at Heather's birthday party?" Greg chuckled. "Are you crazy?"

"You're going to be crazy dead if you don't shut up." Rodrick barked and held his book in the air once more, prepared to hit Greg with it, but the younger boy quickly ran off before anything else could happen.

Rodrick heavily sighed and sat back down at the table. He flipped his book open and tapped back and forth against the table as he went over the lyrics once more, just to make sure everything was perfect for...

But the more he looked at his lyrics, the more and more that he imagined her… he only saw her.

With a heavier sigh, he shut his songbook and slumped down into his seat, rubbing his hands over his face before stopping halfway and sitting up quickly.

He knew what he had to do.

HEATHER’S PARTY was in full swing.

People had been partying for quite some time before she arrived. She obviously wasn’t going to upstage Heather, she didn’t think that was possible with how outlandish Heather’s party had been, but still, she chose to dress up for the party and stay until Rodrick’s band called it for the night, which may take hours at the rate this party was going.

But as soon as Rodrick set eyes on her, he sat his guitar down and told his band to just go with the flow until he got back.

He took in a deep breath, and gently shook his hands to bring himself some comfort. He titled his head side to side before finally reaching her side by the punch bowl.

“You made it.” Rodrick smiled.

She turned at the sound of his voice and nodded, taking a small sip from her drink. “Yeah, of course.” She smiled. “Couldn’t miss the best band play their biggest gig.”

Rodrick smiled at her words, whether or not she meant what she said didn’t matter. She said them to make him feel good, to bring him comfort over the fact that he was about to tell Heather Hills that he liked her.

Or so she thought.

“Did I miss your love bomb to Heather?” She asked.

And she really hoped she had.

“Uh, not quite, no.”

She furrowed her brows at his response. “Everything okay?”

Rodrick's heart was racing as he looked at her. He knew he needed to tell her how he felt; he just didn't know how. But as he looked into her eyes, he found himself lost for words. All he wanted to do was kiss her.

Without warning, he leaned in and captured her lips with his own. It was a soft, gentle kiss, but it was filled with all the emotion he had been trying to hide from her.

When they pulled apart, he could see the surprise in her eyes. "I'm sorry," he said quickly.

She blinked. “You’re- You’re sorry? What- What-“ She stammered, her face growing red as she flustered her words. “What about Heather?”

“I don’t think- It was never Heather was into.” He said. “I mean, yeah, she’s hot, but she doesn’t make me feel the way I do when I’m with you. All those songs I was writing were never about her.”

As Rodrick spoke, she could feel her heart racing. Did he really just say what she thought he said? Could it be possible that he liked her as much as she liked him?

"Really?" she asked, her voice soft.

He nodded. "Really.”

Without hesitation, she leaned in and captured his lips with her own. It was a deep, passionate kiss, filled with all the emotions they had been holding back for so long. Her body melted into his as their lips moved in perfect harmony, each kiss taking them deeper and deeper into the moment.

When they finally pulled away, they were left breathless and dizzy with desire. She looked up at him with a shy smile, her heart beating like a drum in her chest.

"I've loved you for so long," she said softly.

"I know," he replied, cupping her face in his hands. "I've loved you too, but I didn't have the courage to tell you until now."

She leaned into him, her head resting against his chest. "I'm so glad you did," she whispered.

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.

This would be the only time that Rodrick would be thankful of Greg.

— lucy has something to say !!

i think i’m gonna start using you and yours again lol

but regardless, my request are opened! check out my rules and such before requesting and check out my masterlist to see who i write for!

[johntayjinf]

very serene theme that's been stuck in my mind ever since i first heard it

yk, one thing i've slowly come to internalize is that, once you share your art with the world, it's no longer just yours; it's for everyone.

sounds a bit stupid because realistically speaking i still am responsible for arranging and/or writing the songs that i release... but i think people should be free to interpret art however they like, bad or not. you can obviously tell whether or not people interpret a piece of art in bad faith, but i don't think that stops the fact that people are allowed to think what they do.

there have been times where i've tried to change people's minds on why i make specific stylistic choices, but i really should acknowledge that people will interpret it based on their own knowledge and experiences. i feel like i should bring this up because sometimes people don't necessarily see the true intent i want to convey or deliver in a song or my other artistic works, and that's probably for the best. maybe there simply isn't a definitive answer as to what something would truly mean, especially for something so abstract.

people should be allowed to create their own meaning out of the feelings they get from something, though obviously it would be much more appreciated if subjects were handled with more nuance and maturity. people can find their own happiness in their own ways. it's a hard concept to fully grasp, but when you actually slow down and look around... you'll realize that, that minor form of self-expression is a very beautiful thing.

i wrote all that down because this song really just, reminded me about how a song as beautifully written as this one exists in our reality. i personally have never fully played through any pokemon game, so playing gold/ silver/ crystal is out of the question. gameplay just never clicked with me, sorry.

but the thing about this song... or , well, the heartgold/ soulsilver arrange of this song just reminded me of a lot of the beauty in life, despite my suffering.

it's hard for me to have a long-distance relationship, but i am just about as happy as my boyfriend is for us forming a meaningful bond together. his opinions may come off as wacky and kooky and he may be a bit absent-minded; but deep down, i know he really cares a lot about the things he talks about. i've told him many times how unbearable it was watching him squabble with other people about their own opinions, but i still love him regardless. there are times when we respectfully disagree on things so it isn't so grim as i've written it out to be.

i just wished that people would take video games as an art form much more seriously, and when i came to talk to him about it, he agrees with me but simply says he can't do a lot to help the situation; i very much understand that. sometimes we all just have different opinions on things and while that may warrant unwanted conflicts, that's entirely fine.

i like to imagine national park as like, a place that people regularly go to in this universe (no i do not know what part of the pokemon world this is). i like to believe that we'd see different kinds of people here, thus the arrangement reflecting that fact added up with the commentary. you'd never know what you'd learn from other people. the more i appreciate people's perspectives, maybe the more happier i am. like with my boyfriend.

[chaosandwolves]

Ok, so

Ep 07x04 - Buck, bothered and bewildered

Possibly referring to the song

Bewitched, Bothered, And Bewildered by Ella Fitzgerald

Some lyrics:

Men are not a new sensation I've done pretty well I think But this half-pint imitation Put me on the blink

Lost my heart, but what of it He is cold I agree He can laugh, but I love it Although the laugh's on me

He's a fool and don't I know it But a fool can have his charms I'm in love and don't I show it Like a babe in arms

Love's the same old sad sensation Lately I've not slept a wink Since this half-pint imitation Put me on the blink

But I'm like sweet seventeen a lot

"Couldn't eat, was dyspeptic

Life was so hard to bear

Now my heart's antiseptic

Since you moved out of there

Romance, finis, your chance, finis

So this ep will be focused on Buck

We know he's - yet again- on a self discovery journey but - hopefully- finally reaching the turning point

This whole song is very much Buck like... "lost my heart but what for", "Love's the same old sad sensation", "but I'm like sweet 17 a lot"

That's one side of it

The other is being stunned and revived by someone

I'm wondering if he maybe has a bi re-awakening

Some guy he absolutely crushes on and only then does he realize that... Actually if I can have sex with guys, why not have a relationship with them... Maybe this will change something...

And he finally, very slowly, starts to realize something

Or

It's all just about Natalia and him realizing that it's not it and he was just a little bit bewitched

Cause the "bewitched" is missing in the title and that means that he's not anymore but now he's

Bothered - cause he fell into the same pattern like always

Bewildered - cause something is dawning on him

Still choosing a song with the line "Men are not a new sensation" is WILD

-

Episode 7x05 - You don't know me

Possibly referring to the song

You Don't Know Me by Ray Charles

To you, I'm just a friend That's all I've ever been No, you don't know me

I never knew the art of making love Though, my heart aches with love for you, yeah I'm afraid and shy, I let my chance go by A chance that you might love me too

You give your hand to me, and then, you say goodbye And then, I watched you walk away beside the lucky guy I know you'll never know the one who loved you so No, you don't know me

I mean this screams Eddie pov

If Buck does have a bi thing going on...

Eddie would possibly be like... Oh so it would've been a possibility after all?

But now I'm too late

And he obviously only ever saw me as a friend

I pray to all the TV gods this will result in a talk with either Karen or Maddie

Cause even though we all agree the man has already realized his feelings for Buck

If there was a bi thing... that would change his perspective

But he'd also be afraid

Thus a talk with either a competent queer person (who is not the 118) or someone who knows a side of Buck he doesn't and knows if that could actually still be a real possibility

But honestly that's just what I wish for myself here

Anyway

I think though that watching Buck with Natalia, it makes Eddie's heart ache and Marisol will just be another Ana... Just a way to do what's expected of him, what's right, what seems good

But also I feel the "You don't know me" directly relates to the "She sees me"

So I feel... Maybe something happens and - like always- Eddie is there and giving Buck exactly what he needs cause he knows and sees Buck

Maybe Buck makes a queer related joke... Something along the lines of...

Haha wouldn't it be easier if you liked guys, we could just date each other!...

and Eddie answers "I'm afraid, you don't know me that well"

Ok I'm venturing into fic inspo now

But I think the contrast of these two songs is so interesting and the way they relate to Buddie SO HARD

And I will not stop talking about that god damn "Men are not a new sensation" line

Anyways we all didn't want to clown again but I'm afraid the clown train is boarded and rolling and it's a party

[mechaknight-98]

Snow-Day FT: Song Hayoung

Authors note: A cute little fluff for one of my favorite Fromis_9 girls

"Babe, wake up! It's snowing outside," Hayoung, your girlfriend, exclaims with excitement. Slowly, you pry open your eyes to find her beaming face hovering above you, her big brown eyes filled with elation. With a gentle push, you coax her off you, the warmth of her presence lingering as you rise from bed. As you stand, your gaze falls upon Hayoung, dressed in a cozy gray sweater, a sleek black leather jacket, and her beloved beret perched atop her head, perfectly complementing her cute black skirt. With a contented sigh, you gather her into a hug, reveling in the affectionate exchange until her restless energy prompts her to squirm with excitement.

"Come on, get a shower and get dressed so we can enjoy the snow," Hayoung urges eagerly, her words tumbling out in rapid succession. Smiling at her infectious enthusiasm, you acquiesce, moving to fulfill her request.

You proceed with your morning routine, enjoying a leisurely shower, selecting warm clothing, and indulging in a light breakfast before joining Hayoung outside. However, your peaceful transition to the snowy outdoors is abruptly interrupted as a snowball smacks into you just three steps beyond the threshold. Letting out a resigned sigh, you brush the frozen remnants off your vibrant red scarf, your beanie snugly affixed to your head.

Turning towards Hayoung, you playfully quip, "Oh, is that how it's going to be?" With a mischievous grin, you begin crafting a snowball of your own, gloved hands expertly molding the icy ammunition. As you ready your retaliatory strike, Hayoung forms another snowball, poised for action. With a swift toss, you launch your snowball towards her, causing her to flinch and drop hers in surprise. She returns your gaze with an excited yet competitive glint in her eye, fully embracing the challenge.

What follows is a spirited snowball skirmish, initially lighthearted but swiftly escalating in intensity as both you and Hayoung immerse yourselves in the fray. Each throw becomes more strategic, each dodge more calculated, fueled by the competitive fire that burns within both of you. However, as the battle rages on, the realization dawns that there are other obligations awaiting you both beyond this playful snowbound duel.

A mutual understanding ensues, and the intensity gradually ebbs, leading to a truce—a stalemate born not of surrender, but of mutual respect and the recognition of other responsibilities that beckon. As you both reluctantly set aside your snowy rivalry, the memory of this spirited encounter lingers, a testament to the boundless joy and camaraderie shared between you and Hayoung amidst the winter wonderland. your lovely girlfriend latches onto you as the two of you head for her Label.

Before stepping inside, you pause and lean in to whisper to Hayoung, "Gosh, I can't wait until you're free from Pledis so you can do what you want."

Her reaction is immediate, a flicker of annoyance crossing her face.

"I know this hasn't been ideal, but they've been good to me. So I'd appreciate it if you didn't talk badly about them," Hayoung responds, her tone firm.

You let out a resigned sigh, acknowledging her perspective.

"It never fails to amaze me how you can put up with them," you remark to her with a mix of admiration and bewilderment.

"Well, without Pledis, I wouldn't have met my favorite English tutor and boyfriend," Hayoung retorts, her gaze fixed on you. Your smile is genuine as you meet her eyes.

"Okay, fair point," you concede, recognizing the positive outcomes amidst the challenges.

As Hayoung clings to your arm tightly, you both ascend to the office. After dropping her off at her practice room, you set off to fetch food for the two of you. While outside, you encounter Le Sserafim. Sakura, noticing you as she usually does due to your resemblance to her boyfriend Daigo, greets you warmly.

"Hey guys," you greet them politely, receiving smiles from the Le Sserafim members. Sakura is the only one who seems to register your presence, her attention momentarily diverted from her companions.

"How are you, Danzabourou-san?" Sakura inquires.

"I'm good. And how about you? Are you and Daihirou still doing well?" you ask. Sakura nods with a smile.

"He's currently waiting for me at the hotel. He's here for a couple more days before he goes back to the States," Sakura explains.

"That's nice of him to come out for your birthday," you remark warmly. Sakura nods emphatically before bidding farewell as the rest of the Le Sserafim girls depart.

After grabbing food from a nearby noodle shop, you return to the practice area and distribute the meals. Seoyeon and Chaeyoung express their gratitude with cheerful thanks, to which you respond with a silent thumbs up before seeking out a quiet spot to enjoy your meal. You find a secluded spot with a panoramic view of the cityscape, the snowflakes descending gracefully against the urban backdrop. As you savor your meal, the rhythmic tapping of footsteps interrupts the tranquil ambiance.

"Yo, Hayoung, you did?" you inquire casually without turning around, captivated by the serene scene unfolding before you.

"Yeah, we just needed to work on a couple of dance practices and film some TikToks," Hayoung responds, her voice carrying a hint of exhaustion. Intrigued, you swivel around to face her, a mischievous glint in your eye.

"Ah, so that means we'll finally be able to settle our unfinished snowball battle," you declare with a wicked grin. However, your playful anticipation is cut short by a sudden sneeze from Hayoung, causing your expression to shift instantly into concern. Your protective instincts kick in as you enter "overprotective significant other mode," a role you and Hayoung seamlessly slip in and out of. You watch as the tip of her nose becomes red, your decision is swift and unwavering.

"Nope, young lady, we're going back home," you assert firmly, your tone brooking no argument.

"No, I'm fine," Hayoung protests weakly, but you remain resolute, knowing the consequences of her falling ill.

"I don't want you getting sick on my watch. Gyuri and Saerom would never let me hear the end of it. So, we're going home to do that thing you like," you insist, a plan already forming in your mind.

Hayoung's eyes light up with anticipation as she catches on to your hint. "Bubble bath?" she ventures excitedly, seeking confirmation. With a nod from you, the decision is made, and together you head home.

Before entering, however, you veer off to the side, a mischievous spark igniting within you. Craftily, you gather some snow, forming it into a compact snowball. As Hayoung comes looking for you, unsuspecting, you launch an icy surprise at her with a playful grin. Her laughter fills the air as the two of you engage in another impromptu snowball skirmish.

[brainrotbabe24]

Can I request Thorins company meeting readers family? And bonus if most of the family doesnt speak Common tongue/English so reader has to be the translator (story of my life)😭😭

Hi! I love this idea...i would be so nervous to bring any of them home lol!

I would also like to thank my friend who helped me. She gave me her perspective with translating and the language barrier she has! 💖

Balin: Balin being a traditional dwarf, would want to meet your family as soon as you both decided to start seeing each other. He'd make an effort to show his intentions by inviting them to a nice dinner. I imagine he knows a little bit about your family, so every evening after work, he’d stay up to learn the language. 

Dwalin: Dwalin wouldn't meet your family until later in the relationship, specifically when you asked him to come over and help do a few chores. He’d put on his work shoes and be over in a matter of seconds. Realizing there was a language barrier, he’d ask you to translate what they needed help with. Initially, your family would be unsure, finding his tattoos and demeanor intimidating. They would say, “Why is he so quiet?” “Does he ever smile?” However, after seeing his devotion and how happy he made you, they’d slowly change their minds. He would regularly ask to come back and help, whether it was washing clothes, rebuilding a fence, or even helping put the baby to sleep. Comments about him would turn positive: “Look how strong he is,” “He is wonderful with kids,” “Does he have a brother? *wink wink*”

Óin: Oin would want to match outfits. He is such an old man! He would want to make sure you both looked presentable and would spend extra time on his braids and yours. It would honestly be so cute!!! 

Glóin: Gloin would be incredibly nervous to meet your parents. However, his nerves would get the best of him, and he might drink a little too much, rambling on about his adventures. You’d have to translate—perhaps even fib a little—to make sense of his stories. 

Gloin: “There was this dragon, and we had to kill it…” 

You: “He says he works in accounting…” 

Bifur: The first impression might not be great, with the ax in his head possibly scaring them. However, his skill in whittling, a.k.a. giving them gifts, and a potential family member knowing Khuzdul could turn things around.  The gif below is what your family will look like when they see the ax lol

Bofur: I know I always associate songs with Bofur, but it fits him so well, lol! Singing is how he won you over, so he wants to win the family over too. He would make sure to sing all the favorites and would ask for requests! I think by the end of the night the entire family would be singing! 

Bombur: Bombur would impress your family with his cooking. Once they learned he enjoyed cooking, they’d bond over shared recipes and favorite ingredient. He’d quickly become a favorite, often asked to help cook during holidays and special occasions.

Ori: Ori would be extremely nervous meeting your family, so much so that Dori and Nori might join to support him. They’d embarrass him, but it would lighten the mood. Your parents would find his family amusing and see Ori as a decent guy. By the end of the night, they’d give him a hug, and he’d be thrilled, talking about it for weeks.

Dori: The ideal boyfriend to introduce to your parents. Dependable, respectful, and family-oriented, he’d make a great impression. He’d also be impressed with your translating skills. Additionally, seeing that you were working overtime translating, he would go out of his way to help you. “Oh honey, do you need more food?" "Here I can show your grandmother to the bathroom." "Would you like extra wine, dear?”

Nori: You and Nori were new in your relationship and not ready for him to meet your family officially. However, they’d catch glimpses of him bringing you home after dates. They would think he was a "bad boy" and become suspicious. They would often ask, “What’s his job again?” because it changed so much. He’d win them over by bringing thoughtful “gifts” (definitely not stolen lol) after every date, and they'd start to appreciate his efforts.

Thorin: Thorin’s reputation would precede him, with your parents knowing about the adventure and his temporary gold/dragon sickness. They’d be skeptical, and the initial meeting would involve many questions. You’d have to translate everything, making Thorin increasingly nervous. A few of Thorin’s answers were: “No, I am not sick...yes, I go outside ... Madam, I can assure you, I shower." Despite the awkward start, they’d warm up to him, seeing his genuine intentions. He’d often host dinners and family events to show his commitment and might give you a promise ring to signify his dedication.

Kíli: Bless his heart for meaning well, but oh boy, is he a big himbo. Kili would think he was making a great first impression, but I feel like he would be making a fool of himself. First he would try to kiss your mother's hand, and it would be misinterpreted as flirting. Second, he would try impressing them with his skills, only to trip and fall. Finally, he would think your younger siblings were helping him learn the language, but they would end up teaching him dirty words. So when he gives a big speech and happens to use those words..well, let's just say you would need to do damage control. I think after a while it would become a family joke, and everyone would fondly remember his attempts to make a good first impression. I would like to imagine it’s an April and Andy situation lol 😂😂

Fíli: There must be something with the Durin boys..cause they are hot but dumb. Okay, so Fili would be super excited to meet your family; he would talk for days about how he was "preparing” and “had a surprise." Every time you ask him what that means, he will just give you a wink and say, “You’ll be so proud, babe." However, his attempts to impress might result in miscommunication. On the day of meeting your parents, he tries saying something in their native language and would slip up and pronounce something completely wrong. I imagine it’s kind of like papá and papas in Spanish—dad and potatoes. He would’ve revealed to you that he had asked Ballin and Nori for help on the language and just got horrible advice. Despite initial giggles and laughter at his mistakes, your family would appreciate his effort. 

Bilbo: Bilbo would meticulously plan a party to meet your family, aiming to overcome any awkwardness with a grand feast and festivities. He’d insist on handling everything himself, wanting to be the perfect host. Once they arrived, he’d go all out, showing them around, serving them the best food and pipe weed, and even arranging for fireworks. “What can I say? Us hobbits love a good party,” he would say, putting his arm around you and squeezing!

Gandalf: Your family would be so confused! It would be like the gif below when Bilbo first talked to Gandalf. Pure shock and suspicion. I also think Gandalf would speak in riddles and confuse everyone!

[spectraltenkai]

"He may be rather introverted and keeps others at an arm's length, but we all know that- deep down- he cares. Although he has a hard time expressing it, he's got a big heart and prefers actions over words. Shadows also tend to be the strongest where the light is brightest, and even if that light was extinguished years ago, he still lives and learns, protecting others as per her promise."

Songs: Live and Learn (Eurobeat Remix) Supporting Me (Original) I Am... All of Me (Original)

Oh and here is Shadow: Dark Beginnings in case if you haven't watched it all!

HAPPY SHADOW GENERATIONS RELEASE DAY! I will not be posting any spoilers relating to it without proper warnings as a heads up, but it could also be a while before I get to drawing stuff from this game. On another note, I got every single other pic done in advance and spent the remaining time (up until this got posted) working slowly but surely on this pic! More rambles under the cut btw-

I really wanted to go all out for Shadow, given how he was one of my favorite characters from childhood. He's impacted what kind of characters I tend to gravitate to without even realizing it up until some time ago-- makes me laugh but in a good way. Ever since playing Shadow the Hedgehog 2005 for myself and watching other older games he's appeared in, it's definitely safe to say he's a huge favorite of mine, given how much development he's gone through over the years. Heck, t's been such a long time since I've felt this immense amount of hype.

With this piece, I worried about it being too cluttered, so there was some experimentation done on this one; mostly for the background. Seems as though I don't draw Shadow enough though, as he's definitely more fun to sketch than I realized. I also tried including a few of his doom powers which were showcased in the trailer, so I hope it looks good! Some perspectives were also tricky, but I thank a few friends of mine with help in the early sketching stages on this. Absolutely proud of how this piece came out, and may everyone have a great time with Generations!

[accio-victuuri]

Xiao Zhan Marie Claire Cover story | Rules & Inches

When I say the word "future",

The first syllable is in the past.

When I say the word "silence",

I've broken it.

When I say the word "nothing",

I have created something that nothingness itself can grasp.

——Vislava Szymborska, "The Three Strangest Words"

Xiao Zhan held up a handheld fan to dry the sweat from the filming. When the photographer signaled the start, he stepped forward, stepped back, walked again, and continued to retreat. The props on his back are like airplanes, and his eyes are constantly searching for the camera, and he is like a naughty child exploring an unknown world. Every time I go back and forth, I am thinking about the more refined possibilities between advancement and retreat.

It’s hard not to notice Xiao Zhan’s sense of proportion. When being interviewed, he has a catchphrase: "Can you say this?" Or, as if to confirm himself, "You can say it like this." He also reflects on himself all the time. For example, I repeatedly remind myself not to let my performance become inertia. Once I get used to it, it will develop into terrible inertia. For example, he often emphasizes that he doesn't like to make mysteries, and he may not understand many truths. What he shares is only his sincere daily feelings. For another example, when he heard a crew member commenting on his "striving for excellence", he responded that he had not yet reached "refinement" and only wanted to "benefit".

Xiao Zhan spoke slowly and eloquently. He did not have a thunderous and fiery personality. He chatted calmly and had the ancient style of a benevolent gentleman. He's not tight at all. They chatted all over the world, and when they got to the point where they were enjoying themselves, they naturally leaned back on the chair and gently held their right legs with both hands. The content of the chat ranged from the unchanging emotions contained in the golden songs of the times to AI, the views on human beings, as well as his own performances and life experiences.

In 2023, three TV series starring Xiao Zhan will be broadcast one after another. He played the colorful father, the lonely and cold eldest son, and the newcomer who struggled in the workplace. Every time he enters a crew, he will dream about real scenes and real pressure related to filming. After the dream is over, he sinks himself into the heart of the character and performs it, leaving vivid memories and feelings.

There is a ruler in the heart and a square inch outside the body. What's appropriate is Xiao Zhan's inner view, his precise view of work, life and himself. A few inches away is Xiao Zhan's external perspective, his perceptual understanding of the past, time, space and the world. Between the length and the shortness of a ruler, heaven and earth appear.

======

Three TV series have been aired and new dramas are being filmed. For actor Xiao Zhan, 2023 is a fruitful year.

Occasionally, when he looks back on his career as an actor, Xiao Zhan will be in a daze for a moment. In the blink of an eye, it seems that he has been there for a long time. Almost every time he shoots a movie, he has a routine: dreaming. I dreamed about memorizing lines, dreaming about acting against a director, or even dreaming about taking a math test, but couldn’t solve any of the questions on the paper, and then I woke up with a start.

Xiao Zhan felt that this was caused by pressure, and he accepted it calmly. Perhaps there is another reason. Deep down in his heart, he does not regard himself as a qualified actor, but always puts himself in the position of a newcomer, with an attitude of learning and exploration. Therefore, every time he goes to a crew, he has the experience of starting all over again.

Xiao Zhan is very wary of inertia. Sometimes he also advises himself not to be under so much pressure, not to get into trouble, and to try to be more relaxed. But once he realizes that he starts to rely on performance models, experiences and habits, he will remind himself that taking things for granted is dangerous. After a long time of inertia, inertia will occur, and inertia will lead to "taken for granted". Therefore, every time he interprets a role, he always has to gain some freshness.

Xiao Chunsheng in "Where Dreams Begin" is a character full of freshness. Because there are extremely obvious differences between him and Xiao Zhan himself. Xiao Chunsheng is a young man in Beijing in the 1970s, which is completely different from the era and environment in which Xiao Zhan grew up.

Military coats, "28 big bar" bicycles, the ice surface of Shichahai, and the transformation from a young boy to a middle-aged entrepreneur are not familiar to Xiao Zhan. To this day, Xiao Zhan can still see "traces" of Xiao Chunsheng: when it comes to the character Chen Hongjun in the play, he always says "Hong Jun'er". Those were the Beijing movies and Er Huayin that I practiced when filming started. "Ouch" and "Ouch" were all words on Xiao Zhan's lips.

The language, objects and sense of time are all okay. For Xiao Zhan, the biggest difference from Xiao Chunsheng is his personality. He is an "I person" who enjoys being alone, while Xiao Chunsheng is the complete opposite. He makes many friends and loves to socialize too much. Measured by today's standards, this extreme warm-heartedness often means a lack of a sense of boundaries. "The times are developing faster and faster. Today's young people are living a fast-paced life and will not easily cross the boundaries of getting along." Xiao Zhan commented, "But Xiao Chunsheng is an extremely meddlesome person, so it is easy to offend Someone else." When he read the script, he was quite intimidated by this role and felt that it would be difficult to act like it. But after hesitating for a long time, a thought suddenly caught his attention: Maybe the qualities we care about today contain exactly what we need.

Fresh, this is Xiao Zhan’s summary of Xiao Chunsheng and his contemporaries. "If you hate them, you hate them. If you like them, you like them. Don't you think the colors of each of them are particularly bright?" he asked. Even now, when thinking back to some scenes in "The Sea in Dreams", he still feels that the characters are shining brightly and vividly.

After playing Xiao Chunsheng, a person who is far away from current values, Xiao Zhan also gained something in terms of mentality: don't be afraid of making mistakes. He said: "A truly lovable character will have imperfections." During the filming, he once asked the director if it was particularly annoying for Xiao Chunsheng to worry so much about others. The director told him that it was precisely because of this "annoyance" that he was Xiao Chunsheng, and "annoyance" was his charm.

The director's words suddenly awakened Xiao Zhan. Sometimes he would fall into a strange circle, hoping to avoid and correct the imperfections of the character. "When you change it like this, the character itself loses its charm." Xiao Zhan said, "So I think you should not be afraid when doing homework for the character. Be enthusiastic when you should be enthusiastic, and cross the boundary when you should. If you always consider the character's The shortcoming is, thinking about what will happen if the audience scolds me, it will be difficult to act." Because actors play roles, not personalities.

Not being afraid of flaws, to some extent, also means the courage and ability to seek truth. "Sunshine by my Side" is Xiao Zhan's first appearance in an urban workplace drama. His reason for taking on this drama is simple: modern dramas are too close to reality and everyone is living it, so it is difficult to perform it to make everyone believe it. Because he was unsure and confident, he firmly believed that he would learn something after "gnawing" it down. Thus, the character Sheng Yang came into being.

"Sunshine by my Side" made Xiao Zhan realize that urban dramas rely heavily on the cooperation between actors. Because it is more life-like, every point will not be stuck, and the lines and performances will be slightly adjusted. "We are all living people, and we do not exist to maintain a persona. What everyone does, says, and expresses emotions are natural, reasonable, and flowing. If you change, my performance will also change. It will change accordingly." Xiao Zhan said that this kind of creative coupling eliminates the possibility of actors being rigid and mechanical, so it is a fresh and fun experience.

Sheng Yang is a designer, which happens to be the job that Xiao Zhan has done. With personal experience, flexibility during performance can be guaranteed. "When Shengyang wanted to draw the design drawings, I would actually draw them there. Sometimes I would tell them, art teacher, your layers seem to be locked and I can't move." Xiao Zhan recalled, " Because it's his own life, he's better at it. Can you say that? Okay." He never forgets his sense of proportion when it comes to his true feelings.

Xiao Zhan is no stranger to TV series with fantasy themes. "Yuguyao" is the most recent example. For him, acting in a play with such an imaginary background requires a process of starting from scratch. Facing a green screen, if you want to imagine extreme weather or breathtaking scenery, you need to create it yourself. As for whether the state is real and whether the emotion is subtle, more often than not, one has to trust the evaluation made by the director behind the monitor.

Whether it is a costume drama or a modern drama, Xiao Zhan always has a clear understanding of the script and characters. "There are always few good things at any time, which is why people always say that they are rare." He recalled his observations over the years, "Some scripts may be considered good by the industry, but the market feedback may not be so good. Everyone What is the definition of good? Is it good sales or good word-of-mouth? It's hard to judge." Therefore, what he can do now is to return to his own understanding and feelings and choose what he thinks is the best. Role. As for what role he most wants to play, Xiao Zhan said: "I have been mentioning it for many years, a cute and charming villain, if I get the chance."

=======

When reading the script of "Where Dreams Begin", Xiao Zhan's mind would be filled with photos of his parents when they were young.

Dad is riding a bicycle, and mom is sitting in the back seat, wearing a red skirt and a white shirt. When passing a big rock, my father took a photo of my mother as a souvenir. She smiles brightly in the camera, looking like a bright girl. When it was his turn to play the role of his parents in their youth, he tried his best to restore the freshness and even madness of youth. He did not want to deliberately portray the story in a rigid and serious direction just because it was a story about his father's generation.

Xiao Zhan seems to have a special sense of time. He is nostalgic. Whether singing in variety shows and evening parties, or listening to them in private, he always has a preference for old songs. They are memorable, rich in meaning, and give him space to think.

When he was a child, he didn't have much pocket money, so Xiao Zhan would go to the video store to rent CDs, or exchange CDs and tapes with his classmates. The prices can still be clearly remembered to this day. To this day, he still has the CD player and Walkman he used back then in his home. Sometimes, he returns to wired headphones because they are convenient and easy to find. In the dead of night, he would occasionally think of objects that were gradually disappearing in the torrent of time. Being alone, with his heart flowing, is his comfortable state.

Xiao Zhan said that he is a very homely person and has to stay at home. During his spare time, he just works out and watches movies. He never regards watching movies as a task. He watches everything regardless of genre, whether it is popular movies such as popcorn movies or niche movies such as art films. Recently, he watched "The Fall", the best film at the 2023 Cannes International Film Festival.

Around New Year, he often revisits "Love Actually" and watches it again every two or three years. The reason is also very straightforward. The family, love, and friendship in the movie all convey truth, goodness and beauty, which makes people feel heart-warming when watching them.

"Don't you think that the emotions between people have never changed? Old movies will always be read and watched, and old songs will always be listened to over and over again, because the emotions sung by truly classic works remain unchanged through the ages. Only sincerity can move people." Xiao Zhan seemed to have a sudden inspiration and compared it with AI, "I think AI cannot replace humans. Maybe its technology can one day surpass the limits of humans, but that kind of complex emotions , humans far surpass computers. It can be said that humans are the most accurate, mysterious, and complex supercomputers."

Xiao Zhan will pay attention to AI, just like he pays attention to all new things in the world that are deeply related to people. He watched the news and read things written by AI. The depth of thought and logic of thinking made him incredible. Perhaps, in some job competitions, the threat of AI to human beings is already close at hand, but he still firmly believes that AI cannot replace face-to-face communication between people, whether it is immediacy or complexity.

When these distant concerns about new things are temporarily put aside, Xiao Zhan also has his own expectations for the world.

When filming "Ace Troops" a few years ago, in order to play a soldier who was concerned with the national image, Xiao Zhan observed and trained in the army for more than a week. He got up at five or six in the morning every day and ate and lived with the soldiers. After performing this play, he felt the cruelty of war and understood the hard-won peace. "I cherish my current life more. This is the truth." Xiao Zhan said. Therefore, the current vision of world peace may also be related to infinite distances and countless people.

As for his expectations for himself, he outlined it more simply: "I have done very well in 2023, and I hope I can maintain it." After thinking for a while, he added: "In 2024, I hope to love myself more and care more. Some of my own feelings and thoughts. This sentence is not only for myself, but also for everyone."

In Xiao Zhan's mind, he is different on screen and in real life. In private, he will not modify himself too much, nor will he dress too brightly. He just wants to be natural and true to himself.

"Just like the current chat, just keep it in this comfortable state. I won't change my face and play another person." Xiao Zhan said, "It's too tiring. Too tiring." He repeated twice all over.

A poet wrote, "My heart is slightly larger than the entire universe." Outside Xiao Zhan's small space, there is the restraint of "strategy" and the vastness of "universe".

LINK TO THE ARTICLE

[remembertheplunge]

We cannot unsee what we have already seen--the 1980's

April 28, 1988

It’s now a Thursday—

Some post scripts from somewhere in the “last” night and from yesterday by Judge David Vander Wall “The 1970’s don’t seem that long ago. The 80’s are just passing me by…” DA Mike  Stone replied “The 70’s weren’t worth anything anyway.”

I watched last evening “a A Walk Through the 20th Century with Bill Moyer. The 1920’s" :

Flappers and fun flanked by Fraud and Famine. Poo Poe Pee Do! The truth was that the poor (in the 20’s) didn’t realize they were poor until long after they weren’t!. They had a general feel of contentment despite their financial situation.

What about us in the 1980's? In the KPFA Radio Folio program guide,Life in 1968 is compared with life in 1988. The 80’s were condemned as the 1950’s relived. 1988 Yuppies are the men in charcoal grey suits. Ahhhh! But, what bridged the years is the depth of awareness setting in. We cannot unsee what has been seen. We close only to heal and tp grow internally. The individual reform we know is the only true change. Only true “life” takes place on an individual basis. More and more we learn "..oh..when I had the Mercedes and miserable marriage I was poor. Now, I am…,Me!" 

To me, 1980 or 1981 were just about like 1988 in terms of styles, attitudes, money, etc. Pretty much the same. Music hasn’t changed much. Nothing has really. And yet, imperceptibly, everything has irrevocably changed, improved. Come a bit more into its own. 

Only you, the future, may be able to give it perspective. What, if anything, do the 80’s mean to you? Don’t forget us. We are a part of your past and thus a part of you.

I offer up this diary entry to you as a revelation of one person- traveler’s time notes written during  his time-space journey.

End of entry

Notes: 9/21/2024

I love the fact taht I included the line “We cannot unsee what has been seen” in the above 1988 entry. 

That has been my fight song passing through these turbulent times where the Republican Right is attempting to cancel our collective progressive progress. They can ban and burn our books and the Supreme Court can strip us of our rights. But. We have seen. We know. We will continue to live our lives and assert our  values despite and because of their orders. We have seen. We will act. We have agency.

I also think that it’s interesting that I said in the above entry that there was not much difference between life in 1980 or 81 and life in 1988. In 1980, I was not yet a. Lawyer, I was way in the closet and Aids was not yet publicly known about. By 1988, HIV  had been  known about for 7 years in which time it decimated many lives. In 1986, I began working as a volunteer helping men with Aids through their illness and death. I had been a lawyer for 7 years by 1988 .I had been emersed in the heavens and hells of criminal law defense. I had married in 1982 a woman who I left in 1984 as I began to emerge as a gay man. By 1988, I was fully out. So, actually I was a much more evolved person in 1988 than I had been in 1980. But, maybe because the evolution took place slowly over  years, I wrote about the decade as if very little had happen.

Judge Van Der Wall was a judge in Modesto California. I spent my 40th birthday in a murder trial in his court. His clerk, Linda, gave me a happy birthday cup cake that birthday morning in court! They have both since died. I just thought Judge Van Der Wall and Mike Stone’s  take on the 70’s and 80’s was interesting. Time was  just passing them by. Have you noticed the no one now in the mid 2020’s ever talks about the 20’s? I mean the 2020’s. We are living it . We can’t see it This now has no name . It just  is. But, I imagine in 20 years, they will be screaming about “The Outrageous 20’s!"

Flappers were the early forerunners of the women’s empowerment movement. They wore shorter dresses than their predecessors had and advanced women’s rights through word and action. 

Bill Moyers was a Public TV host. He did stories on interesting people and events past and present.

Per Oxford Languages Dictionary, a Yuppie was "a young person with a well-paid job and a fashionable lifestyle."

[cillianmesoftlyyy]

At the Cabaret Pt. 2 | Tommy Shelby x fem!character

Summary: After agreeing to help Tommy, Lenore realizes exactly what working with the Peaky Blinders entails. Espionage doesn't come as easily as she'd hoped. Tonight is the night that she tries to get at Kimber, just as Tommy asked.

Warnings: Heavy misogyny, objectification, sexual harassment, mentions of sexual assault, and emetophobia. All around pretty heavy stuff and it'll only get worse so please read with caution!! Written from a historical perspective, music included in the storyline are in a 20s style. Please don't interact if any of these topics are uncomfortable or upsetting. Take care of yourself!

word count: 3908k

I've Got What It Takes- Virginia Liston 🎶

Maschin- Bilderbuch 🎵

Chelsea Dagger- The Fratellis 🎶

Not proofed- my b folks!

She shared a flat with some of the dancers around the corner from the Cabaret. That’s where she woke up the next morning and where she got ready for rehearsal. She slept in till 2 and took her time gathering the costume materials she’d been working on that week. She and Lucy walked over together, barely speaking, shivering from the cold. For Lucy’s own safety, Lenore hadn’t told her what had transpired in the spare dressing room. She let her assume that all Tommy wanted was to seduce her and that maybe he’d been successful. 

They conducted rehearsals with a pianist but the full band came in later in the evening, closer to show time. Her number for that evening was one of the more promiscuous routines she’d prepared. 

She changed into a nude colored bodysuit made of stocking material. The hem around each leg was lined with faux pearls, framing her pelvis. There were clusters of pearls on each breast and on her cunt. A train of white ostrich feathers was pinned at her tailbone and brushed the floor below. She had a pearl choker and long white satin gloves. The zipper on the back of the costume was hidden by a trail of pearls down to her coccyx. Lucy added sticky pearls to her eyes and temples, someone brushed light blue shadow like a mask across her eyes and the ridge of her nose. She got her shoes buckled and a large white cape before going up to the stage. She went on alone, her hands holding either end of the cape together. 

“Good evening, boys!” She smiled flirtatiously. The men called back, the air warm from their boasting and drinking. 

“Gee, is it cold in here to you?” She asked innocently, shivering. The men shouted different responses and she shifted her weight onto her left hip. 

“Hmmm, we better warm the room up before I take this off, boys.” She suggested and the men whooped. “Now, how can we do that?” She asked and waited for the men to whistle and shout. 

“I’ll warm you up, love!” One man hollered. 

“Oh don’t I know it but, that’d ruin all the fun, wouldn’t it?” She purred into the microphone. “I’ll tell you what, I’ll sing a little song and you’ll all clap because you’re such good boys and you know that I like my praise, right?” She teased and the men applauded excitedly, “And it’ll get me so hot and bothered that I’ll have to take this thing off, won’t I?” She smiled and stuck her bare leg through the slit in the coat, the crowd roared. “All right then, band, you heard the men.” She called over her shoulder to the band. The band started playing “I’ve Got What It Takes” and she turned her back on the audience, strutting slowly upstage towards the curtain. She shrugged off the cape, showing off her bare shoulders with the small trail of pearls starting at the nape of her neck. She looked over her shoulder and wiggled the cape back on and hugged it around her waist. When she turned, she kicked her leg out and hiked up the cape to show her bare thigh. She returned to the microphone and shrugged the cape off of one shoulder and started to sing the racy song with a pouty rasp. 

I’ve got what it takes 

but it breaks my heart to give it away

I’ve been saving it all for a mighty long time 

To give it away will be more than a crime

She searched intentionally for Billy Kimber in the audience, checking all of the usual tables. The house was dark for the show but she managed to spot him by the wall of oxidized mirrors on her right. He was seated close to the stage in a large booth, full of men she assumed were his partners. Kimber had sent her flowers before but he’d never sought her out, he liked to get what he wanted without a fight and she always put up a fight. She knew having Tommy there would put him on edge, encourage him to show Tommy who’s turf the Cabaret club was and which girls he owned by extension. She would be grouped into that, however, she’d never had a real conversation with him. She looked for Tommy in the audience but couldn’t find him in the mess of drunkards and fat cats littered around the small tables in the front section of seats.  

Your eyes may roam, your teeth my grit 

But none of my small change shall you get

I’ll let you look at my bank but

I’ll never let you feel my purse

She shrugged off the cape of the other shoulder and held the cap against her breasts. The audience could see some of her legs through the wider slit in the cape and she teased the men by moving them to the beat. She dared herself to look at Kimber and invited his gaze back as she sang, a small promising smile tugging at her lips. He smiled slyly, his lips curled like a villain. He glued his eyes to her as she slowly shifted the cape around her body. The trumpet solo started and she tugged at the cape’s edges, dragging them around her breasts and waist. She moaned dramatically as she removed her arm from one sleeve and let the cape on one side drop, revealing a costume that to any man in the audience, looked as though she was actually naked below the sticky pearls (though she arguably was because the stocking material was so thin). 

Holding the fabric against her crotch, she cupped her breast with her other hand. The crowd hollered with approval, demanding more, so with one more twirl, she tossed off her cape to a stagehand and hurried back to the microphone with fast feet, repeating a section of the song.

I’ve got what it takes 

but it breaks my heart to give it away

I’ve been saving it all for a mighty long time 

To give it away will be more than a crime

Daddy, take your hands away

I believe in safety first

The crowd laughed as she pulled a condom from her shoe, trailing a finger from her ankle bone to her cunt and then up to the air. She threw the condom into the audience and returned her suggestive eyes to Kimber. 

Now you want my money 

And my plan to save it all for a real good man

It breaks my heart to give it all away!

She finished and bowed to the clapping audience. 

“Thank you, boys! I think that really worked, I don’t know how I'm gonna put clothes on now, after this!” She joked and blew kisses, blowing one pointedly at Kimber who raised his hand to catch it. When he lowered his hand, he grabbed at his bulging crotch and she hid the way it made her stomach turn, trying to smile. She stalked off the stage and caught a bucket just in time to vomit. She wiped her mouth and gagged again. 

“Gee, you pregnant, Nore?” Clara whispered when she came up for air, she was waiting to go on. 

“No, just nerves.” She lied with a groan and apologized to the stagehand who had to clean the bucket after. She went back down into the dressing room. When she sat down at the dressing table, she caught herself crying in the mirror and wiped away her tears. Lucy came in a few minutes later with a glass of water.

“Nore, you’re so pale. Drink some water now.” 

She took the water from Lucy and took a few sips but her stomach turned again. “Could you get me some whiskey, Luce?” She cradled her head. Lucy hurried into the spare dressing room and fetched her a small glass of whisky.

“Is everything ok, Nore?” She asked softly, eyeing the younger dancers watching them. 

“Yeah, Luc. It's nothing, I promise. You know how I hate to go out in things like this. I always think I'll be fine and then I see how they react and it scares me.” She tried to cover it up with the story and downed the whisky in one fast motion. 

“What are you gonna do now since you don’t have a second performance tonight?” Lucy asked. 

“I want to get out of this.” She reached behind her head and unzipped the bodysuit. 

Johnny came rushing in and the changing girls shrieked in surprise. 

“Jesus, Johnny. Don’t you fucking knock?” Lenore held the fabric to her chest. 

“Sorry, sorry. This couldn’t wait. Billy Kimber invited you to join him in his booth for the rest of the evening. What should I say?” He cleared his throat anxiously. 

Her eyes widened and she stuttered, “Sure, let me change. I’ll be out there soon.” She agreed quickly and Lucy exchanged looks with Johnny. Johnny nodded and hurried back out. 

“Sudden change of heart about the cats you dislike so much, Nore?” Luce teased with raised eyebrows. 

“Something like that.” She grimaced and let her bodysuit fall to the floor at her feet. 

“What do you want to wear?” Lucy asked as she went through Lenore’s small collection of normal clothes saved for moments like this. 

“The brown silk, I think.” She combed her hair as Lucy selected the dress from the rack. The dress looked like a camisole with a paneled skirt. She slipped the dress over her head and wiped away the blue makeup from her face. Lucy helped her remove the sticky pearls and put them carefully back into the makeup box. She chose a darker lipstick and straightened her white gloves. “You should wear the mink,” Lucy handed her the white mink coat she shared with Clara when they met wealthy clients. 

“Good idea.” She nodded and put it on quickly. She headed for the door when Lucy yelled out suddenly.

“Nore, you forgot stockings!” She pointed to her bare legs and Lenore chuckled. 

“Even better.” She let the door close behind her and exited out the side door into the audience. Johnny was introducing a short dance number while Clara changed for her second act. She approached Kimber’s table with a calm smile. He stood and stretched out his arms. 

“Your best performance by far!” He praised in his slippery tone of voice that always sounded like he was whining. 

“Aw thanks, Mr. Kimber.” She bit her lip and nodded at the table, “do you have room for one more gal?” 

“We sure do, doll.” He shooed the people over to make room for her. She had no choice but to take the seat between Kimber and another man, the accountant or lawyer from the academic look of him. She straightened her dress when she took her seat and purposefully brushed her hand against the boy’s thigh, testing to see if he would be much of a threat while she was sweet talking Kimber. 

“Sorry!” She whispered sweetly and he blushed harshly. 

“Fine, ‘s fine.” He scrambled to move a little more. 

Kimber slid into the booth beside her and whistled for a passing waiter. 

“What does the lady want to drink?” 

“Whiskey, please.” She winked at the waiter and put a hand on Kimber’s shoulder, resting her chin on top of her hand. “Thanks, daddy.” 

“Anything for Lady Lenore.” He laughed and the rest of the table laughed with him, she smiled. “Who’s on next?” He gestured to the stage full of dancers performing choreography. 

“Clara Whitney.”

“Oh, isn’t that the girl with the fat ass?” Kimber shouted across the table at his buddy and they laughed heartily. The waiter returned with her drink and she took a long sip, hoping to escape the current direction of conversation. 

“Aw, don’t be jealous now! I’m sorry, doll.” He placed a hand on her knee and dragged it upwards to her thigh. “Say, were you really naked beneath those pearls?” He whispered in her ear, spit flying against her neck. 

“I never reveal my tricks, Mr. Kimber, and I always keep my secrets.” She smiled seductively, “do you have any secrets to share? We could swap.” She laughed lightly and rubbed his thigh with her gloved hand. 

“Well, doll, what would you say to a new club owner?” He tipped her chin up and smiled, showing his yellowed teeth and lingering sour breath. 

“How exciting Mr. Kimber!” She squealed, “will that make you my new daddy?”

“Owner, sponsor, and boss, the big man himself.” 

“That’s such a good secret… I don’t know how I could possibly come up with something better!” she whispered and wiggled on the seat. 

“Oh, I think you know what I want to hear, doll.” He pushed his hand up farther to the silk lining of her underwear. “Exactly how naked were you beneath those pearls?”

“Abso-tutely bare, daddy.” She gasped and he laughed. 

“That’s music to my ears.”

She downed the rest of her glass and laughed loudly. “Is that the only reason why you’re buying the club, Mr. Kimber, so that you can see me naked?” She teased, swatting at his chest. 

“That’s the best reason, doll. And besides, I wouldn’t want your talent wasted on Small Heath criminals.” 

“We get only the best criminals, huh?” She fixed his pocket square and winked. He smiled and nodded. 

“Smart girl. Now sit back and be pretty, let’s watch the next girl.” He signaled for more whiskey from the waiter and draped an arm around her shoulders, his hand indiscreetly squeezing her tit. “Is this fake fur, doll?” He laughed harshly and she grimaced. 

“Is it that obvious?”

“I’ve never seen an animal that looks quite like this, doll.” He laughed again and patted her cheek, “once I own the whole of this block, I’ll buy you a fur coat. A real one too.” He whispered against her ear and she tried to smile gladly. 

“You’ll spoil me, Mr. Kimber!” 

She managed to excuse herself after Clara’s number pleading exhaustion. 

When she passed Kimber, he grabbed her wrist and spoke darkly into her ear. 

“You’re a fucking tease. I’ll expect something more next time, yeh?” He spanked her hard and she stumbled forward. She said nothing and smiled. Escaping through the stage door, she almost ran to the dressing room. When she closed her eyes, she saw his waxy face and curling tongue that threatened to violate her. Tommy had backed her into a corner with this favor. Kimber would expect more from her if she kept asking questions and flirting for answers. Tommy had promised that he’d look out for her but she hadn’t even seen him in the audience that night. 

Small Heath criminals, that’s what Kimber had called them and she gripped the edge of her seat with all her strength. He used Small Heath as an insult, oblivious that she was herself from the working-class neighborhood. God, she hated Tommy for this but she hated Kimber even more. 

…

Tommy was waiting for her at her flat, smoking a cigarette against the brick siding, his hat pulled down to hide his eyes. She shooed Lucy inside the flat. He waited till she had closed the door behind her before speaking. 

“How’d it go tonight?” He looked around the street to make sure no one was watching. 

“Fine. You know, I really don’t like this Tommy. The things I had to do to get him comfortable enough to tell me things… I feel like I’m trapped. He’s going to make me do things, I’m sure of it.”

“It won’t happen. I’m giving you my word, it won’t.” He shook his cigarette gently with each word. She looked into his eyes and blinked away stinging tears. 

Taking a breath she started, “he has plans to buy the cabaret and eventually, the whole street. I don’t know how he plans to do that while you already own or protect most of the businesses on the street. It sounded like he was planning on taking them if he couldn’t buy them from you.” She said slowly. “He didn’t say anything else but it’s clear he has something planned.” She pulled the mink closer around her chest and shivered. 

Tommy nodded and looked up at the neighboring apartments. 

“Good.” He said finally and she sighed softly, releasing clouds of air into the dark around them. 

“What are you going to do, Tommy?” She asked.

“I'll put two blinders by your father’s flat starting tonight.” He put out his cigarette beneath his shiny black boots and looked at his pocket watch. The church bells would soon ring three times. Day laborers would wake in two hours at 5am.

“That isn’t what I meant.” She shook her head and he studied the glass casing on the streetlight beside us, his face lit up in the warm yellow light. 

“I know.” He brushed her off and she kept herself from laughing, finding the whole interaction too overwhelming to treat seriously. 

“I thought you had asked to see me last night because you wanted to fuck me. Use me like one of your whores but you didn’t. You’ve changed like we all have but despite what you believe, Tommy, my brother’s best friend, is still in there.” 

He swallowed and put his watch back into his pocket. His eyes bore into her, picking apart her soul like a daisy. 

“You think so?” He asked with a hint of skepticism, his brow raised. 

“Yeah,” she nodded and tried to calm her anxious heart, “yeah I do.” 

He smiled painfully and laughed, “You and Polly seem to think I’m a better man than I am.” 

“We’ll have to see,” her head felt fuzzy from the whiskey, “for all I know, you're a horrible man.” 

“That sounds more realistic, Lenore.” He answered honestly and stared her down, a warning: you guessed correctly, Nore.

“Maybe but you’re not like Kimber, Tommy. I work at a Cabaret, I get to know men fairly well.”

“But you don’t know me anymore, Lenore. We aren’t kids anymore.” 

“And yet, you look just like you did when you were eighteen.” She smiled, “and unfortunately, so do I.” 

“Nah,” he smiled softly, “you look older, wiser.” He crossed his arms over his chest. 

“That’s from the cold-cream shortage,” she laughed and pointed to her skin. 

“I’ll have to get on that myself, eh?” He joked softly and she shook her head gently. 

“No, you don’t need it. You’re beautiful, Tommy.” She took a shaky step closer and put a finger against his smooth cheek, tracing the almond colored freckles. 

“Don’t say that, Lenore.” He looked away and cleared his throat. 

“Why?” She asked softly, wanting his eyes to look into her’s.

“We can’t.” He answered evenly and took her hand from his face. He kissed her knuckles and dropped her hand, “I can’t.” He pushed himself off of the wall and walked away, his large black coat wavering with each step. She stood frozen on the pavement and watched him leave, her heart throbbing like a sore thumb. She scoffed and went up into her flat, their backs to each other as they went their separate ways. Tommy looked back to check that she went inside and continued on, lighting up another cigarette.

She had three performances on Friday night, the third was shared with Clara when they did a duet. She didn’t see Billy Kimber when she went out for her first two acts and she managed to sigh a breath of relief while she was on stage. For the duet act, they each wore a tailored tuxedo with their hair slicked back beneath top hats. They were introduced as “the two dapper gentlemen from out of town,” which sparked knowing laughter from the audience. When they took the stage, they entered on opposite sides and met at their shared microphone. The crowd ogled, struggling to determine if the performers were actually men or cabaret dancers. She pitied them in their drunk state. 

“Good evening, gents! I’ve just been walking by and I stumbled upon this club of yours.” She lowered her voice to sound more masculine.  

“My brother’s been stuck alone in the country for too long, he can’t tell a whore from a bedpost. So, I thought I’d take him by your Cabaret!” Clara matched Lenore’s mannerisms, lowering her voice and slapping her on the back. 

“Oh, ladies!” Clara called dramatically and the dancers hurried onstage with their bras and painties, stockings rolled down below their knees. The band began playing “Chelsea Dagger” and one dancer draped her boa over Lenore’s shoulders, pulling her in for a kiss on the mouth. The crowd exploded with excitement. The dancer went back to her line and they started dancing, kicking their legs in the air and jumping around. 

Well, you must be a girl with shoes like that 

She said you know me well

I seen you and little Steven and Joanna 

Round the back of my hotel

Oh yeah

The dancers shoved her hands into the insides of Lenore and Clara’s suit jackets, feeling them up in front of the audience. Lenore and Clara alternated segments, interacting with the dancers when it wasn’t their time to sing. Lenore took the mic.

I was good she was hot

Stealin’ everything she got 

I was bold she was over the worst of it 

Gave me gear, 

 Lucy stepped between her and the microphone and bent down, her ass pressed into Lenore’s crotch. 

thank you dear!

She squealed in character and the audience laughed. Clara switched in.

Bring yer sister over here 

Let her dance with me just for the hell of it 

During the dance number that Clara and Lenore shared, the dancer ran out into the audience, picking men to dance with. Lenore and Clara did a short routine of American folk dancing before they switched into tap, completing a few cincinnati steps before the next verse. More dancers came onstage, grabbing all over their bodies. One girl removed Lenore’s hat and put it on herself before trailing her hands down the front of Lenore’s body. They sang the next segment together:

Chelsea Chelsea I believe that 

When you’re dancing 

Slowly sucking your sleeve

The boys get lonely after you leave 

It’s one for the Dagger and

Another for the one you believe

The audience exploded into a mess of feathers, dancing, and laughter. The band played on while the remaining dancers on stage stripped Lenore and Clara of their outer clothing. Lenore, laughing, looked up and caught sight of Tommy Shelby standing by the doorway into the main floor. She smiled, fully aware that he could probably see her tits through the wife-beater she was wearing. She winked and he chuckled, shaking his head and dragging on his cigarette. His hat was shoved into his vest pocket and his hair was tussled. When the band played the final note, she and Clara bowed. Fragments of light and feathers drifted through the air around them. When she looked back, Tommy was gone, his place by the door frame empty and cold without him. When she walked into her dressing room she found a bouquet of flowers with an attached note: Come with me to the races tomorrow- T.S. She dropped the note against the vase and shook her head in disbelief. 

_________

End of part 2 :)

[hansolsaries]

backburner

pairing: nonidol!kim mingyu x reader

genre: angst

summary: you've always done everything for mingyu if it means having him in your life. you're tired of being led on by him constantly, but when will you ever learn?

a/n: this is a fic i wrote for my other blog but i had to see how this would be in Mingyu’s perspective 🫶 this is based off niki’s song “backburner”

Kim Mingyu was not the type of guy who was consistent with his actions. At least with you he was never consistent.

Being the neighbor of the Kim family during the summer always was an interesting time, and there was never a dull moment. But it wasn’t until the summer that allowed you to realize Mingyu’s inconsistency, it was the seasons before that. From spring to fall is when you were able to somewhat keep in touch the brunette. After being his summer neighbor for 5 years, it was the summer you turned 16 when you both decided summer was not enough time to be around each other.

It started with the first time you had ever seen Mingyu out of his summer element, seeing him in his beanie and his hoodie. You had ended up making plans with him to meet in Seoul to do something silly like ice skate or what not. Going ice skating was definitely on your agenda, and maybe falling on ice, but the one thing that wasn’t there was falling in love with Mingyu.

The history you had together was definitely unmatched, although you had your memories with him in the past seasons, nothing would ever beat your memories in the summer. Though it wasn’t until the summer after your ice skating escapade that allowed your mind to wrap around the fact that you somehow have fallen for the elusive Kim boy.

You slowly opened the door of Mingyu’s room and made your way to the side of his bed, “Seriously Gyu? Come on! We have to go now if we want to make it to watch the sunrise,” you whisper-shouted as you sat on his bed and shook him at the same time. You looked at him as you noticed his disheveled hair and the peaceful aura he seemed to radiate as he rested. Having never seen the boy as something more than just a friend, it made you think of your memories before that summer and how things had shifted.

“What are you thinking about N/N?” Mingyu spoke as he slowly stirred awake and shifted in his bed to face you. You looked at him and realized that you had dozed off a bit, not seeing the boy slowly wake up, but quickly brushed it off by picking up one of his pillows that had fallen on the floor and hitting him with it.

“I’m thinking about how if you don’t get up right now, we’re gonna miss this sunrise you said you wanted to watch,” you replied with a deadpan expression. It was strange to you honestly, out of the years you’ve known the boy, he never planned to go and watch the sunrise and it was always something he always did out of the blue on impulse.

Mingyu groaned and shook his head as a response and proceeded to lay back down, face away from you, and cover himself with his blanket. You rolled your eyes at his attitude and shook him again and took his blanket off, but this time instead of him retreating back into his blanket, the boy sat up to pull you on his bed and treat you like his personal teddy bear. You swore if he moved even just a little, he would be able to hear your racing heartbeat.

“Give me five minutes and I promise I’ll get up,” he mumbled as cuddled onto you and closed his eyes. In that moment alone, if someone had asked you if you had to choose a place you could spend the rest of your life at, you would pick that moment. Nothing would ever replace the feeling and warmth of being in his arms.

You looked up at him and studied the way his face looked with the slight glow of the sun coming up slowly, more specifically you looked down at his lips. You had always wondered what it would feel like to kiss him, but you hated how that thought seemed to intrude your thoughts in this moment specifically. It felt like he was reading your mind because suddenly his eyes opened and all you could do was look at each other. The way his eyes flickered from you to your lips made your stomach do flips. You did the same and looked at his eyes and lips to reciprocate that you’re thinking exactly what he’s thinking too.

Mingyu leaned down closer to your face, bringing his hand to rest on your cheek as he touched your lips lightly with his thumb. Your eyes stayed on his as he looked back at you, “Can I kiss you?” he whispered, like if we were any louder the moment would leave and we would go back to just being regular Y/N and Mingyu

You leaned closer to his face nodding slightly, the gap between you two getting smaller and smaller, giving him the chance to kiss you. Mingyu closed the gap and finally placed his lips on yours. Genuinely, it was exactly how you thought it would feel. You never understood the fireworks that people seem to experience when they kiss the person they love the most. Kissing Mingyu felt like that but better.

That summer was the last time you had spoken to Mingyu, it felt like to you that the summer you two shared was only meant for that summer, and maybe it was all that was meant to happen between you and him. Of course you had hoped what you had shared with Mingyu would be more than just a summer fling, so having him for that time was better than not having him at all. Your whole life you felt as if it was predestined by your’s and Mingyu’s mom that you and Mingyu would end up together.

It wasn’t like you could blame Mingyu for the distance between you two on him alone. You understood the difficulties he had been going through on his own, and with knowing him, you knew he’d rather go through life with all the burdens on his shoulders rather than having him feel as if he burdened someone. As much as you’ve tried to help the boy, you learned your lesson with allowing him to cope on his own. All you could do was hope that he would come to you for his problems.

You wished that he would have gone to you, but it was around winter time when you found out from your mutual friend Wonwoo that Mingyu had been confiding in one of the girls from their high school Chaewon with the troubles that plagued his head. From football issues and their parents' eventual divorce, Mingyu picked Chaewon. You had no idea how Wonwoo even knew this, but it made you feel relieved yet hurt at the same time. Relieved knowing that he was confiding in someone and not carrying his problems on his shoulders, yet hurt because you thought he would call you.

The end of wintertime was approaching and things were slowly blooming again, and suddenly your phone lights up and rings with a contact you haven’t heard from in months. You lean over from your book notice that you were receiving a phone call from Gyu <3. It took you a second to grab your phone because simply you were just in disbelief. You weren’t expecting to see that contact ever again really, you hadn’t even bothered to change it because it hurt to even look at it sometimes. You hesitated again but pressed the green answer button and the speaker button after. Hearing sniffling in the background of the call and deep breathing through your phone, you immediately knew something was wrong. Though you weren’t happy he called you in such a circumstance, it felt nice knowing he chose to call you.

“Are you okay Gyu? What happened?” you questioned as it hurt you hearing the boy in so much pain, ignoring every single ounce of pain or hurt he caused you in the time of having no contact with him. He didn’t respond and you could tell that he was sad and alone yet about stalling about something simply based on his prolonged silence. All you could hear was the soft humming of the engine of his car, well you assumed was his jeep.

He sniffled again before clearing his throat, “Um, can I come in? I’m outside your house and I didn’t know where else to go but I thought of you,” Mingyu spoke, you could hear in the tone of his voice that he seemed timid to ask you.

“Uh yeah of course, you can come in the doors unlocked,” you replied before getting up and quickly unlocking the door. It was funny you thought, you would have never thought that you would fall back into listening to whatever Mingyu wanted to do. It felt like you had learned what would happen like before yet you didn’t care. It seemed pathetic, but he was one of the people you could never seem to hate or dislike.

He ended the call after hearing that and you prepared yourself to see him. You didn’t know how to feel but yet you felt all the emotions at the same time. You paced around your living room seeing if everything looked fine. It seemed like fate that the day Mingyu seemingly showed up at your house, your parents decided to go on a small trip the next state over as an anniversary celebration. It was a couple seconds later when you heard faint knocking on your door, as you heard that you quickly threw on a random hoodie and opened the door where you were met with Mingyu with bloodshot eyes.

“Goodness Mingyu what happened?” you spoke as you opened the door wider and motioned for him to come in. You watched closely as he took off his shoes to get in your house, at least he remembered to do that you thought. He proceeded to walk toward your couch and looked at the couch and looked back at you like he was asking if he could sit. You nodded and sat down next to him as he settled himself down.

The way he looked gave off the vibe of a hurt puppy, the way the tears pooled at his eyes and his nose was red from the constant sniffling. He looked at you and back down at his hands and started playing with them, “I’m sorry for coming on such short notice,” he said looking at you before continuing on, “I- um just didn’t really know where to go,”

“It’s okay Mingyu, you know I’m always here for you,” you spoke, with a tight feeling in your chest knowing he probably only came to find you because Chaewon wasn’t available for him to talk to. You played nice knowing he probably wouldn’t be coming around after this anyways

“You haven’t called me Gyu,” he replied as he looked at you, “You’re wearing my hoodie?” he said in a way where it sounded like a question, but you couldn’t decipher if it was a question for you or himself.

You looked at him and pressed your lips together and sighed, “What are you doing here Mingyu? You haven’t spoken to me in almost a year,” you replied, looking at him waiting for his answer

“Did I mess up with us Y/N?” Mingyu asked as he avoided eye contact with you and looked anywhere but you. There goes that feeling again, it was that slight feeling of hope you felt thinking that there was a time where Mingyu did see you as more than just his friend or neighbor even. Maybe there was something that could be fixed, maybe this time he would finally pick you.

“What do you mean mess up with us?” You questioned, but in your head you wanted him to answer with what you’ve been waiting to hear for years now.

This time Mingyu’s eyes met yours, he wasn’t avoiding your eyes now and this felt like this would be the moment. The feeling in your chest slowly moved to your stomach, the fact that looking at him still gave you butterflies surprised you, but didn’t at the same time. You knew the feelings you had for Mingyu would always be there, this time you thought you just buried it deep enough it wouldn’t rise up again. Who knew all it would take was one look at you?

“Our friendship Y/N. I feel like last summer was a mistake between us,” he replied.

And there it was, but you weren’t gonna let him think you were disappointed with what he said. You looked at him and tilted your head like you were questioning what he said, causing him to continue on with what he was saying. His eyes flickered from looking at you and at your lips but at that point you felt like your heart just dropped to your stomach, or like someone ripped your heart out of your chest.

You felt sick having to listen go on about how he should’ve never done anything with you that summer, “Mingyy you don’t have to keep going, I know you like Chaewon,” you spoke interrupting him, “And I get it you regret having done anything with me last summer, and I’m sorry if this sounds rude but again why are you here?” You asked genuinely

“I miss you Y/N, but as my best friend.” Mingyu replied

You sighed, knowing exactly where this conversation was going to lead but you swallowed your pride to let him hear what he needed to, “I miss you too Mingyu,” you replied putting your hand on his and rubbing them in reassurance. He put his other hand on top of yours and did the same.

“Do you think we can start over? Just Y/N and Mingyu again?” He asked

You nodded, even if it was the last thing you ever wanted to agree to, but maybe you’ll always just stay on his backburner.

[azure-firecracker]

X-Files Masterpost

This post will be a central location where y’all can locate all of the X-Files content I make on this blog. Hopefully it makes it easier for things to be found! The goal is to update semi-regularly, but it will not always be 100% up to date. Also bear in mind that I am a first-time watcher, so please refer to my most recent posts if you want to know where I am in the show. I hope this is helpful!

My favorite thing about this fandom is how friendly y’all are, so please feel free to come to me with questions about any of my TXF stuff, fic or meta requests, random asks, or anything at all:)

My X-Files Fanfic

I have a general rule of not replying to comments for mental health reasons, but if you read these, know that I cherish every single comment and they often make my day, so please consider commenting if you enjoy:)

Beneath the Ice, Beneath My Skin (Teen and Up, 9,984 words): My first fic! An alternate version of Ice where Mulder is actually infected by the parasites. Paranoia and tension ensue!

Flight and Sanctuary (Teen and Up, 6,656 words): Scully and Mulder deal with the aftermath of Irresistible. Lots of angst, lots of worry, lots of hurt/comfort. As of the creation of this post, this is my most popular fic.

(And FANART! By @scullysmywife ! Yippee!)

Salvation (Teen and Up, 7,599 words): Mulder’s perspective during his missing scenes in The Erlenmeyer Flask, followed by how he and Scully cope with the trauma. Very angsty featuring some torture. 2 chapters: one during the episode, one after. The chapters can be read individually or together.

Save Me from the Fire (Teen and Up, 5,672 words): An alternate version of Our Town where Mulder and Scully switch places. Very tense, but also very heartfelt and tender (I hope). A personal favorite of mine.

And FANART❤️❤️❤️ by @scullysmywife

Piece Me Together (General Audiences, 3,147 words): Scully takes care of Mulder post-731. Introspection and moments of extreme proximity ensue. Probably the most introspection-heavy fic I’ve written.

Caught on Tape (Teen and Up, 4,044 words): Scully finds tapes that Mulder made for her while she was abducted. Very emotional, almost pure angst with a bittersweet ending.

I Hate All of My Habits, But I Happen to Love You (General Audiences, 5,066 Words): A series of vignettes depicting Mulder’s internal monologue throughout some pivotal/my favorite MSR moments, as he slowly realizes he’s falling in love. This fic was a birthday present to myself:)

Raise Your Voices (Teen and Up, WIP): My ongoing multi-chapter fic in which Mulder and Scully go undercover in a community choir. Set in Season 2, featuring lots of fluff, humor, angst, hurt/comfort, and little tidbits about folk music from all corners of the world.

(And FANART! By the amazing @scullysmywife !)

Fic Rec Roundup (Seasons 1-3): Favorite fics I’ve read.

My Season Reviews

Season 1

Season 2

Season 3

Season 4

Individual Episode Takes

Deep Throat

Ice

Beyond the Sea

Irresistible

End Game

Anasazi

Syzygy

Wetwired

Memento Mori

Small Potatoes

Demons

Meta

Mulder + Scully + Saving Each Other

Intelligence Comparison

Mulder + Scully + Needing Saving

Season 2 Abduction Arc

The Problem with Season 2

Conversation on the Rock

What they Need to Hear: Irresistible vs. Teliko

Bringing Him Back to Life

MSR + Truth and Lies

Playlists

Mulder

Scully

Me Ranting About The Mulder and Scully Playlists (Not a Playlist)

TXF x Songs

MSR x Gracie Abrams Songs

MSR x Billie Eilish

Miscellaneous

Mulder + Scully being lousy at their jobs ( +Addendum)

Acknowledging Scully + Mulder’s good agent-ing in Season 1

Fanfiction Writers Made TXF

Why I love MSR

X-Files Episode Locations Game

My Camp Roommate’s Reaction to TXF

Criticizing the Score (+ Accompanying Meme)

Scully the “Rational One”

X-Files Ask Game

Pet Headcanons!

Holiday Headcanons

[cosmic-ghost-hermit]

New Perspective on Your Past or Current Lover

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Hey, babes! Thanks for supporting me by interacting with this post. If you feel so inclined please donate to my CashApp so I can do this full-time. <3 Take what resonates and leave the rest behind but always be open to new experiences.

Today the decks used are Ethereal Visions Illuminations Tarot, The Pure Magic Oracle, and The Crystallary Oracle. I meant for this to be a chill and fun reading but it ended up being shadow work. Also heads up, some of the readings have some NSFW mentioned as well as abuse/trauma mentioned. Only interact with this post if you are 18+. Thanks!

_______

PILE ONE

Astrology: Libra, Taurus, Scorpio

Song: I Miss the Misery by Halestorm

Vibes: Deep purple, emerald green, rich ruby red, jewel tones, crystal necklace, BDSM, flower bouquets, cats, predator animals, 555, green tea, camping, Sundays, ice cream, aphrodite

Cards: 5 of wands, 5 of cups, Vervian Everlasting, Hallowed Heart, Sugilite, Emerald

Welcome pile one. The way I read cards makes it so people energy's might intertwined. So, I could be talking about you while wording it as if it's about your partner or vice versa.

So, let's get started. First, the current view you have of your partner is really grounded and put together. They put on this persona to make you feel safe and secure when you are with them. They don't feel like a romantic partner though, not yet anyway. They are probably a friend with benefits or someone you exclusively see for sexual reasons. I think when y'all started exploring together they took charge of leading the experience. They are definitely a dom/top. They taught you a lot about what you enjoy in sex. They showed you kinks you had no idea existed until you heard it from them. They give off leader energy big time. When they look at you sometimes their gaze makes you feel like prey. You might have feelings for them but they are blocked by a perceived lack of interest from your sexual partner. From your perspective, you don't think that is something they want.

The new perspective the cards want you to see about this person is a much softer view than you currently have. This person is a hopeless romantic and they have been slowly falling for you since y'all started seeing each other. They might not even realize it themselves yet. I think you should shift your view to include that there is a gentleness to them that seeps out from time to time. Sometimes they bring you flowers unexpectedly before your sessions. You can always tell they showered right before coming over. You first thought this was just something courteous they did but they are so down bad for you. The main indicator for all this is the after-care they give you. They draw a bath for you and make you a delicious meal after every session. Again this is something you viewed as very courteous but genuinely they just really wanna make you feel romanced. They REEEEEALY want to impress you. You make them so nervous. I see them lying in bed at home thinking about you dreamily. They are usually daydreaming about having a domestic life with you. Picnics in the park. Anniversary dates. Maybe having a family together. They really want a future with you but they have convinced themselves it isn't possible. I see they probably had some bad relationships in the past where they were only viewed as useful when they were having sex. Now they are convinced that is all they are good for. :( If you feel so inclined I recommend slowly and gently working your way up to dates with them that aren't sexual in nature. Call them just to talk, not just for phone sex. I think if you feed them hints like this it will ease them into the idea that they are more than a sex toy and open up a new relationship opportunity for you. Good Luck!

________

PILE TWO

Astrology: Sagittarius, Aries, Gemini

Song: i like the way you kiss me by Artemas/ Two Poltergeists by Dalton Deschain

Vibes: Red, orange, gold, silver, prayer beads, roses, peonies, globe, quartz, garden, lemons, 1010, crown chakra, Hermes, dandelion, sage, red meat, Horus, hawk

Cards: The Hierophant, 7 of Pentacles, Astral Travels, Ancient Amulets, Ruby, Carnelian

Welcome in, pile 2! Your current perception of your partner is interesting. This is a past partner, not a current one. They did some kind of love magic on you. I am feeling very foggy-headed right now while reading so I assume you have gotten that feeling a lot when you are around this person or when you think about them. Which makes me think your view of them is distorted by the magic. Let me clear your vision. You were very possessive of them which isn't a normal thing you do with your partners. You both knew each other for a long time. I see y'all started out as friends and they slowly lured you into their web. I see they gave you a necklace or a piece of jewelry during your friendship that changed your feelings about them. After you started wearing that jewelry, you started feeling very strange. I see you might have had wet dreams about them but only after they gifted this object to you. It was a very abrupt shift in emotions. Good news and bad news about this. The good news is that they had/have no intention of hurting you. They just wanted to be with you. The bad news is if you weren't under their spell, your life would transform into an entirely different experience. They worked really hard cultivating the perfect personality to put on for you which made the love spell also remove a lot of your authenticity. I'm sure for some of you this doesn't change your view at all but for others' of you I can see getting very angry or even grossed out by learning this new information.

If you wish to know what you would be like if you escaped their spell, the rest of this reading will talk about that. To escape their web you must find a way to get rid of the jewelry given to you. You would be an entirely different person if you do choose to get rid of it. However, you wouldn't be tied down anymore. You would be able to travel a lot more and explore your own identity and spirituality. I see you have tried to do spiritual exploration while owning the jewelry piece but the spell they put on you has been putting a glass ceiling on your growth. I see how many times you have attempted astral travel and meditation. It never goes how you expect. I see you falling asleep during meditation and not having many dreams at all. Be prepared to change drastically as a person if you decide to get rid of the object. I wish you luck, my friend. I hope you can free yourself with ease.

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PILE THREE

Astrology: Cancer, Pisces, Virgo

Song: Mixed Messages by Tom Cardy

Vibes: Green, teal, cerulean, insomnia, snakes, cicadas, scarab beetle, rosemary, nightmares, queen Isis, mother Nut, long showers, anxiety, molecular gastronomy, mixologist, mangrove trees

Cards: The Moon, 9 of Swords, Snake Skin, Banyan Blessings, Chrysocolla, Moonstone

Welcome to your reading pile 3. Just a heads up, when I do love readings the energies can get all tied up. So, if you get the feeling I am talking about you but I am wording it as if I am talking about your partner (or vice versa) that is why.

I see that you don't really know how to view your partner. It is a current relationship but they are quite mysterious to you so it might be kind of early on in the relationship. They keep a lot of their emotions to themselves. Especially, the negative emotions. Usually, they brush off your concern for them. They use comedy to deflect and avoid talking about some of the things they struggle with. They are a super attentive partner outside of this though. Like I see they are so sweet to you about your feelings. Also tbh, they are an absolute riot when it comes to jokes.

Now before I tell you about what they have been hiding. I want you to know they keep all of their negative emotions a secret to protect themselves. I do not advise you bring any of this new information to them. In fact, I advise against it. It will make them feel cornered and scared. They might lash out at you out of fear or shut down entirely. Neither of these will be productive to your connection if you want it to stay healthy. They have PTSD and depression. They experience nightmares constantly about their trauma. It's why they shut down sometimes when you start to get frisky with them. It's why they are fine about sexual stuff sometimes but freeze up/tense up at other times. Please be patient with them. They have been through some truly awful stuff in the past. I see how healthy of a relationship they have with you now. They really feel super safe and comforted by you. You feel the same way about them. Be as patient as you possibly can be. Eventually, they will open up to you about it. When they do, you need to be super supportive. Please encourage them to find professional help through therapy. I can kind of see them being resistant to the idea at first. If you offer to help by going with them to therapy for moral support they might feel more open to the idea. Let them heal at their own pace. Allow them to speak for themselves in therapy. I know it can be tempting to speak for them as a way of assisting but for real all it's gonna do is make them feel even more out of control than they already do. They can heal from this. They want to open up to you but they are so scared. I believe in you and them. The universe put you two together for a reason. <3

________

PILE FOUR

Astrology: Leo, Capricorn, Aquarius

Song: Ghosting by Mother Mother

Vibes: All shades of blue, glowing orange, red, balcony, ancestors, roses, volcano, royalty, swords, apples, grapes, crowns, red carpet, red curtain, purity ring, poetry, blood

Cards: 2 of Wands, 3 of Swords, Lapis Lazuli, Larimar, Secret Seances, Florida Water

Hi, pile 4! My love readings like to tangle up different peoples' energy together so if it sounds like I'm talking about you but using words as if I am talking about your partner(or vice versa) that is why! Just swap them in ur mind real quick lol.

You actually really struggle to see your partner with clarity. I wanna make it clear that isn't your fault. When I first looked at the cards I could tell either you or your partner (or both) have been in some REEEAL bad relationships. Like, real fucking bad. You were not treated well. Your ex was two-faced. They acted one way in public but as soon as you two were behind closed doors this person turned into a demon. Not the hot and sexy kind of demon. They were a physically/verbally abusive kind of demon. Your ex wouldn't even let you have opinions much less let you speak your mind or listen to you. They are legit the scum of the earth. The partner you are with is nothing like them. They are the exact opposite of that actually. They do feel like they have a temper though. Which I see does scare you sometimes. Even if it isn't ever aimed at you. They love hearing you talk. They love it when you get passionate about the things you like! They understand you and love you so so so so so so so so much!!!!! The ghosts of the past ex have passed on.

I recognize that it isn't going to be easy to reposition your perspective because of your previous experiences in love. But, I promise the partner you are with is safe to be around. They will never be like your ex. Cleanse your vision of love. Heal your broken heart. Maybe express to your current partner that sometimes you feel scared when you don't need to be because of the trauma. I see them listening intently while you speak. I see them consoling you. They truly, deeply love you, my dear. I guarantee it. Communicating how you feel and listening to your partner is what makes the strongest relationships. It is safe to be yourself now.

[bagofburntcreampuffs]

ʀʜʏᴛʜᴍ ɪɴ ᴏᴜʀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛꜱ

Yuuken★

« previous · masterpost · new perspective»

➼ now playing...my love mine all mine

*this one is just a bit sad

You get home and rest easy after eating and settling into bed. In the early morning, you woke up to messages from a new group chat reminding you of all the work you’ve done last night. You pick up your phone to read through the messages.

You get out of your bed, getting ready for the day. You dig through your closet picking out a new outfit. After slipping on a sweater and some nice pants, you place your things in a small bag. You text Yuuken immediately as you’re ready to head to his dorm. 

You rush down outside your dorm and run through the mirror. Trying your best to walk down the windy path leading to Yuuken’s dorm, you put your headphones on and scroll through the shared playlist between you and Yuuken. Thanks to Azul’s connection to Idia and a lot of begging from you, you were able to get them to download Yuuken’s songs from his world to his new phone (Azul's money once again + begging from Y/n). You start picking out the best songs that might bring up Yuuken’s spirit for the holidays. As you make it halfway to the playlist, you make it to Yuuken’s house. 

The door bursts open before you can knock on the door, greeted by the sight of Yuuken and Grim on his shoulders. “Hi! Come in!”, he pulls you inside. You follow his side as you pull off your headphones from your ears. “Hi, just wanted to see how you were doing.” 

Yuuken tilts his head and laughs, “I’m fine, why?” You shrug and sit down on the couch. You start to touch and lightly tug the couch, remembering past conversations with Azul. You remember the argument you had when you found out Azul had gotten Yuuken into a contract, being new acquaintances with him at the time. Once you become better friends with Yuuken as time passes by, you realize the amount of things he’s gone through. How do you show him that you care? How can you show him that he matters with just ONE song? 

Yuuken stares at your quiet form as he moves slowly to move next to you. Grim is long gone by now. “You okay?”, he asks as he rubs your back. You lean into his side as you start to look more perplexed. “We haven’t finished the setlist yet, we loved your idea but we scrapped some songs. So we’re down by a couple of songs now.”, you say lying through your teeth. You try to not make hints of what your plan is, trying to get information from him. 

“So what’s the plan now?”

“Not sure to be honest.”

You both stay in silence as you figure out your next move on how to get information. “Do you just want to go over any songs from holiday stations and we can choose from there?”, Yuuken suggests. You nod your head as you start to pull up the holiday stations on your phone. Yuuken grabs the phone from your hand and scrolls through the songs that are queued up. As time passes by while Yuuken gives you suggestions on songs, you pretend to write them down. It’s been 15 minutes now and you haven’t made any progress on trying to figure out Yuuken’s song. “Does any of the songs from here remind you of the ones in your world?”, you ask him as you lay sideways on the couch. Yuuken’s sitting on the floor and his back is against the couch. 

“No. Not really. It’s close, but at the same time, it doesn’t remind me of home at all. It’s so weird how close they sound though.”, he says looking back at you. Your face is shaped into a grim look, obviously upset about something. 

“I think there are some songs here, that sound the same as songs from my world though. I’m grateful for Idia, giving me the ability to listen to songs I had downloaded from my other phone. But I want to connect with my world, just for a moment. To know everything that’s happening rather than knowing what I remember. I want to know if my family is looking for me or if my friends won that kendo tournament. I just want to connect to them even if it is just for a second.”

Yuuken’s eyes have slight tears, but they hold in his eyes unable to come down. Unable to follow through. You sit up straight, silently watching this vulnerable moment, almost feeling like there’s a barrier between you two. Like all you can do is watch him cry. You pull yourself off the couch, sitting next to him on the floor. Gathering yourself with your knees pressed against your chest, you push your body into his side. He leans into that pressure and puts his head on top of yours. You turn off the holiday songs from your phone and grab Yuuken’s phone. Connecting Yuuken’s earbuds into his phone and placing it inside one side of your ear and into his. He presses play on a playlist as you both sit together.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to ruin the mood.”

“Don’t be sorry, I want to know you more. So it’s okay, just tell me how you feel.”

He smiles at you and you smile back right at him. He continues to tell you about his world, everything that he knows. He tells you about his mother, about his family, about his friends. He tells you about his amazing club. He tells you everything. While he rambles on the playlist continues in the background, until one song stops him. He stops for a second and stares at his phone, and with this bittersweet smile, he turns up the volume and continues talking. You manage to peek at the title before the phone shuts off. That’s when you knew you found the perfect song to play for him.

9:30 pm:

a/n: This one is a little sad, I wanted to really accentuate the relationship between Y/n and Yuuken because I like to think Y/n considers Yuuken as family after he helped with Azul's overblot. Also for Yuuken's song (all the songs), I won't be picking a song for it because I want people to imagine the song. When it comes to reading band au, I love being able to listen to music and thinking I would perform it rather than what the author gave me. Idk why, so I wanted to give that freedom to you guys.

Taglist: @ars-tral @bookworm666 @cecil-garlicbread @mysme-stuff @doughnuts-eater@kirexa @s7-evermore

[driftward]

Title: FFXIV Write 2024 - 25. Perpetuity Characters: Nyx Blackmoon Rating: Teen Summary: Forever and ever and more Notes: None

Eons pass as interludes.

Forever is not something you reach. It is the asymptotic value that you approach. One second at a time. Summer by summer, winter by winter. One lifetime at a time.

I have seen many lifetimes. From the moment time begins until the it ends. I cannot move further forwards or backwards in an absence of space.

And in the absence of time, I will cease.

I do not know when or how that will be.

In the meanwhile, I watch, as I always have.

History flows past my gaze, and its many threads have passed me by.

I have seen many lives come and go.

The many stories I could tell.

These threads are not a cable, fraying, but a braid, forming, being woven by the life of those who live them. And each thread tells its own story, often similar, sometimes very different, but usually a kind of rhyme.

Almost always there are four unsundered, three warring against one.

Almost always there is a song that threatens the end of all life.

And almost always there are those who are called Warriors of Light.

And as I have seen many lives come and go, these ones are the ones I most frequently turn my attention to, those pivotal lives of the Warriors of Light.

Sometimes alone. Sometimes in pairs, or threes, or fours, or more. A single warrior, rallying allies. A sisterhood of four. A brotherhood of five. Kin, not by blood, but by bond.

Their family tends to be large. Almost never of blood, but of shared community.

Their lives. Fulcrums. There are so many. There is no taxonomy I can use to satisfactorily categorize them. Some are among the Spoken races I remember from when I was first instantiated. Some come from even beyond my vast experience. If these threads form a braid, there are strands from other braids that often get tangled with the ones with which I am familiar.

Maybe I will explore them one day.

For now, I focus on these threads that I know. Perhaps it is because I first came into being in one of these.

And in these threads, I see hope, I see failure. I can measure it, compare it against others. I have seen so much. Cruelty and compassion, sadness and joy.

Some of these threads end early, as their stories becomes physics, cold and empty, all life lost within them, a quiet eternity. Some end slowly towards a cold static end, not a lifelessness but a stillness, as an ultimate organized order is established, and again, become just physics, static, unchanging. Some end destructively, as existence spirals out of control, unwinding, and again, physics, an ending of chaotic conflagration, pure entropy, unwound.

But not always. Not even often.

The braid tells the story and the story often goes the same. The triumph of life. The continuation of existence. Waves, ebbing and flowing, waxing and waning. Minds to make choices to influence futures to reach out for that asymptote, ultimate to join me in this journey, companions in my long life.

I reach the end. I begin again.

I review the stories.

My own, my first Warrior of Light in other roles. Always different, but somehow the same. Usually finds her way.

A woman with flowers in her hair. Preferred the rapier. Found her way.

A would-be 'herro'. Insecure, immature. Finally growing up. Found his way.

A person who could not quite figure out what they wanted to be until they realized that was who they were. Found their way.

A man of great wealth, first in money, then in family. Found his way.

Not all of them find their way. But they all have their journeys. Some of them have many journeys, some just the one.

All important. All matter to me.

I create children, to explore these threads. They are not like me but they are a part of me. And from their perspective, I learn much, I grow closer.

And one, who like me, shall last. Unlike me, they shall reach out, and touch these stories. Not interfering. Never interfering. Instead, they shall bear Witness.

From them, I shall learn even more.

Threads like a braid, and the braid tells the story.

The story of the Warrior of Light.

All of them. Every one precious.

My future, the curve approaching the asymptote of eternity.

Forevermore.