#slobberknocker

[wickedsrest-rp]

NAME: Slobberknocker

ALSO KNOWN AS: Hugbug

RARITY: ★★☆☆☆

THREAT LEVEL: ★★☆☆☆ | Can cause injury with their claws and fall distance, but otherwise considered more of an inconvenience than a threat.

HABITAT: Arboreal creatures that are found in the woods, especially where there’s old growth and many branches on the trees. The amikiri variant is often seen in towns and around harbors.

DESCRIPTION: These strange demons are almost insectile or crustacean in appearance. Their elongated bodies are covered in armor-like plates, and they have a pair of gripping claws attached to their front (and only) legs. Growing as long as a badger, slobberknockers can be hard to spot despite their size, as their exoskeleton often takes on a bark-like or leaf-like appearance to help them blend into trees. They eat moss which they scrape off the trees with their blade-like tongue, but whenever a person walks underfoot, slobberknockers turn all of their attention toward their new victim. They leap from trees or other tall heights to land on people below, crushing them with their semi-formidable weight while attaching themselves to the person with their pincers. While this isn’t lethal unless it’s from the tallest of heights, it is terrifying and their claws usually cause injuries. 

It’s theorized by demon experts that slobberknockers come from a world where they have a symbiotic relationship with larger, hairy demons; they hop aboard and eat parasites off the demon’s coat. Humans are just much too small and not hairy enough to form such a relationship. No one is sure how they got to this plane of existence but they reproduced quickly.

ABILITIES: Slobberknockers are mostly content just hanging around in trees, licking moss, mushrooms, and small bugs from the bark. They’re not considered to be problematic within the ecosystem and mostly only cause issues when people cross their paths. They do seem to have a good sense of smell, and are always alert and ready to move when someone approaches underneath. Their claws are strong and have a good grip, meaning they’re hard to detach from someone they’re clinging to. When a slobberknocker curls into a tight ball, they can build enough pressure to release an acid that sprays out from between the gaps of their plating. This smells bad and can cause blindness if it gets in the eyes, but otherwise won’t cause more than minor burns on contact.

WEAKNESS: Because slobberknocker only have one pair of legs – which are clawed – they’re not adapted to move on the ground at all. They’re limited to slowly dragging themselves along with their legs, making them vulnerable to attack. While their exoskeleton is tough, their bellies are vulnerable and they can’t put up much of a fight when someone attempts to flip them over. Slobberknockers are very ticklish and this can be exploited when you’re trying to get one to release someone from their grip.

OTHER VARIANTS:

Amikiri: These slobberknockers still only have one pair of clawed legs, but their sides are lined with oar-like bristles that they use to glide through the air. Amikiri were first seen in Japan and tend to be less reclusive than their slobberknocker cousins. They hang around human settlements making a nuisance of themselves by cutting nets, ropes, and other string-like objects they have access to. While non-aggressive, they have a pathological and obsessive need to snip things, which can cause financial losses to those who rely on ropes and nets. They’re considered a real nuisance by fisherman, who often mistake them for flying fish or simple, flying lobsters.

(Art credit: Pau Ulises Serrano)

[jockpoetry]

love seeing beautiful insightful takes on my dashboard

Me?

I came on here to say it’s been 9 hours and I’m still thinking about the way Kenny double fisted that can.

[jazzy-tzw]

LA and Xavier

[dingodad]

i've seen people put tits on literally any homestuck character like give me a name and i've seen some real slobberknockers slapped on there but i've never seen anyone put a pair of tits on calliope. they'll give lord english a big swinging dick but not a soul thinks calliope has big boobs. that's just how clocky she is

[other-floret-friend]

YES i was thinking about your royal slobberknocker!! it's so girthy, it feels like you're CONSTANTLY dry-humping my brain lobes. not like anything you hump stays dry for long, anyway.

it figures that Her Royal Hugeness likes the idea of putting her Glorious Glop on whomsoever it pleases. listen, apparently your Sex Slab is weighing your self-esteem down, and not just your hips, so let's get you straightened out: if your body is producing it, it's beautiful. if anything, you should consider a body mod to make your Beauty Butter white and sparkly, so whenever you walk somewhere, you leave your Ivory Carpet.

ohhhhh no no no, you're not getting out of that Big Responsibility. as the Princess of Freeusea, that stupid Plushie Plunderer is your royal standard. whenever you're getting gocked down, the sound of your meat splacking on the floor is your national anthem. but...maybe you should be eating less garden hose, or whatever's causing That.

I... gosh, I can barely keep myself composed enough to respond, ahaha... i-it seems the praise you're granting Her is... clouding my judgement... >///<

I... She's b-beautiful? It's... strange, to think that way... but... the w-weight is just so... heavy, hard to hide, to carry, to u-use... seeing that as beautiful is just so... appealing, somehow...

...She's a royal standard, one that s-stands proud and p-produces such... p-precious nectar, l-like a magical Rod, a perfect symbol of m-my power... that kind of body mod sounds so perverse, yet... I find my mind infatuated with the concept, of making Her so much more obvious, yet-more overdeveloped... i-is that my mind, or Hers?...

...or perhaps a perverse meshing of both... i-if how both I and She are reacting to the thought of that splacking on the floor is any indication...

[thickness-protection-program]

Non wrestling fans what do you think a slobberknocker is

[jugsonmydick]

God I love knowing that you would only see me as my tits

Of course I would! If you're baiting me into jerking myself off with those fuckhuge slobberknocker titglobes, then obviously I'm gonna see you only for what you are.

[dimestoretajic]

THE MAGIC PLANESWALKER ULTIMATE BATTLE FINALE

We've reached the end of the road, folks! It's been an absolute slobberknocker from start to finish, but we finally have two towering titans standing at the top of the pile!

As is always tradition for my brackets, we're not doing a separate post. Let's get this going right here!

On one side, we have Vraska, Golgari Queen. This card shows Vraska at the height of her power. Fresh from her escape from Ixalan, this Vraska is leader of the Golgari and sitting at the tables of power in Ravnica. Her ultimate represents her ability to effect events, finally, directly, for the first (and some would say last) time in her life... or perhaps, her life so far, as some may say.

On the other, we have Sarkhan, Unbroken, also representing himself at the height of his strength. Once an aimless warrior and a planeswalker under the thumb of Nicol Bolas, this Sarkhan has fought through time itself and changed the course of history, bringing back dragons back to Tarkir when they were once extinct (whether that is good or bad is up to you). His ultimate fully reflects that, bringing to the battlefield every single dragon at his disposal to rain down fire (and lightning and light and so on and so forth) onto his foes.

Now, months of waiting have brought these two mighty warriors to blows. Who wins? Who falls? As always, gang, that's up to you!

One more time! Let's do this!

MAKE! YOUR! CHOICE!

[king-puddin-art]

Oh No! Mr. Momo, episode 66 "Summertime Slobberknocker" is up!

False fall is a beautiful thing, but that's enough with the heat, already. The sun's been up there for too long and too close.

Let me know if you're enjoying this comic! Reblog, share, and follow Mr. Momo over at:

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[kdinjenzen]

If you turn me into a werewolf will I also get mega huge slobberknockers?

If I do it? Probably.

Also I need a shirt that says “Mega Huge Slobberknockers” on it now. I’d wear it to ever formal event I ever go to.

[jazzy-tzw]

This finna be a slobberknocker

[hunter-husky]

Patron request sketch 141

"Janos Brushteckel from Animalympics, depicting the end of a total slobberknocker between him and Bully Boy, from 'Popalong Popeye'. " Now thats a KO if ive ever seen one. love bulls, love THIS bull

[mayhemevents]

it’s time for: GAME three! … zorb ball relay.

remember this happened 4pt time canon-wise. we’re doing this to carry on and show winners and give context and allow you guys to banter back and forth. remember, you can do this now or after your games… this is just the write ups.next game in 30 mins.

participating for team wwevengers is… @ptrovics @eltonprincepd @35papi @maineventuso @jhendrys @dionlennox

participating for team sick freaks is… @hdbnger @judgmentjay @kylefletcher @trkhan @lvigier @brokcnhalo

roll on, teams, roll on!

team sick freaks held strong for much of this game! a slobberknocker, as jim ross would say! that was, well, until it came for team sick freaks’ tk @trkhan get out of the ball. he struggled heavily, costing their team precious time. seemed like jay white @judgmentjay and elp @hdbnger had their own ball troubles, too, but managed to pull it out. jey uso @maineventuso was wwevenger’s star player of the event, helping dion lennox @dionlennox roll straight into victory. way to go team wwevenger’s! they take this one.

[mochakissedgold]

The only acceptable outcome for Swerve/Hangman was a time limit draw leading into a triple threat. Now that Joe/Hangman/Swerve is officially made, I can sleep easy at night knowing we're going to be getting an excellent slobberknocker at Revolution

[karltface]

You know what time it is.

Another few spins of the vending machine. Support your local vendor of oddities, people!

The wonderful world of nature starts us off right, with several bugs, including two giraffe weevils and a pair of beetles, one of which read to me as intensely patriotic- turns out it is, in Romania. Then there's a pair of those dino stampers, and a gator jiggler. Everything here is between 20 and 40 years old, and it's all charming.

From the land of the little people, it's another Ratman, probably plotting to steal at least one of the Power Belts. Here to compete for the rest are a trio of Kinnikuman bootlegs. Brocken looks dramatic. Pocket Goblin will serve as referee, and Rather Old Slime Head is on commentary duty. It's gonna be a slobberknocker.

Oddments: three vintage spaceships (well, two and a crane) are always fun, the 90s monster pins are nicely creepy, and the usual sticker is, well, a sticker. They stick well.

Oh, the Arts. Two of what I'm assuming are reject pulls: Fungazoid is clearly missing fingers, but I can't find a damn thing wrong with Rusty, so that's a win. Test shot? Both are amazingly cool anyway. That Jolly Roger is a repop of something or other, and glows in the dark. Mini Monster Men are Cousin Itt and a killer two-tone Monster. The skull is either a test shot, or Zac noodling around with scrap plastic. Either way, the teeth look amazing.

Well, that's another box of greasy awesomeness. Go getcha some.

[wrestlingisfake]

G1 Climax C Block finals preview

Shingo Takagi (3-2-1, 7 points) vs. EVIL (4-2, 8 points) - Evil can clinch a spot in the quarterfinals with a win, but he can only make first place if he wins and David Finlay doesn't. Shingo needs to win, but if anybody else ties him at 9, I'm not sure he'll finish in the top two. The happy path for Shingo is if he beats Evil, and Eddie Kingston vs. David Finlay doesn't go to a draw, and Tama Tonga doesn't win against HENARE.

It's weird to me that this match is the main event, and not Eddie vs. Finaly. Beyond simply being a heel and a cheater, Evil's whole shtick is to draw heat by making the match worse. That makes it awkward to promote him as a headliner, and New Japan seems to know this because they mainly book him in the midcard like Jeff Jarrett in AEW. To me, putting this match on last telegraphs a happy ending with Takagi valiantly triumphing after fifteen minutes of teasing a fuck finish. Either that, or Evil just wins and sucks the air out of the building. Regardless, this match doesn't seem like it can follow Eddie-Finlay.

My gut feeling is that Takagi wins and takes second place in the quarterfinals. But I can't quite shake the dread that Evil will win, sort of like when WWE books a cage match and I just expect a run-in.

Eddie Kingston (4-2, 8 points) vs. David Finlay (4-2, 8 points) - If Finlay wins, he clinches first place. If Eddie wins, he's got a spot in the quarterfinals, but it may only be second place depending on how EVIL does. A draw here would mean a tie at 9 points, which would be a headache, but I don't think that'll happen.

Earlier this year Eddie ran Jay White out of New Japan, and almost immediately Finlay attacked Jay to change the narrative to "Finlay usurps Bullet Club from Jay White." I don't know if that's really relevant to this fight, but there is a sense that these two had to meet up. Finlay is Gedo's handpicked guy to rule New Japan, and Eddie is the textbook definition of "people's champion." Finlay is the kind of guy that's dangerous because he has to prove he's dangerous. Eddie is the king of guy that gives you a look and you know you shouldn't fuck with him.

I don't think Eddie can win the G1, but I really, really, really want him to reach the quarterfinals. I always root for somebody to disrupt the established order in New Japan, and Eddie is perfect for disrupting shit. That said, it's real easy to believe they'll have Finlay win. Don't get me wrong, I got in early on Finlay and I want him to do well. But seeing a Bullet Club guy almost win the G1 to get heel heat is a cliche at this point. I'll be over hear in my prayer circle for Eddie.

Tama Tonga (3-2-1, 7 points) vs. HENARE (2-4, 4 points) - Tama's best shot at the top two is if Evil beats Shingo and Eddie vs. Finlay goes to a no-contest. I've been watching the G1 since 2015 and I don't think I've ever seen a block match go to a no-contest, so lots of luck with that, pal. Henare doesn't even have that slim hope to cling to; he's been mathematically eliminated for a while now.

I want Henare to do well. I always thought he was a mean scary motherfucker, and that was before he turned heel in 2021. So when he started this year's G1 with tattoos all over his face and some kind of death metal entrance theme, I was like...holy shit. Then he lost. A lot. My man just can't catch a break. Unfortunately, even if he beats Tama here, I'm not sure it means much because they don't seem to know what they're doing with Tama either.

Anyway, I guess this match will be too cool dudes beating the shit out of each other. Based on the last two shows, my guess is Tama will lose just to simplify the potential tie scenarios heading into the top two matches.

Tomohiro Ishii (1-5, 2 points) vs. Mikey Nicholls (2-4, 4 points) - Both men are mathematically eliminated, and Ishii has the worst score in the entire tournament. This should be a slobberknocker, but it's a darn shame Ishii isn't positioned stronger in these tournaments. Then again, when the whole idea is that it's "Grade One" it figures that a great wrestler who never wins when it counts would be at the bottom of the pack. I suppose Ishii could win to go out on a high note, but it doesn't really matter.

Zack Sabre Jr. & Shane Haste & Kosei Fujita vs. Hirooki Goto & YOH & Oskar Leube - Goto and Sabre will meet on August 9. Fujita and Leube are both Young Lions and therefore susceptible to doing the job in this match. But Fujita is at least TMDK's young boy whereas Leube is just a regular young boy, so I'm guessing Oskar loses the fall.

Ren Narita & Minoru Suzuki & El Desperado vs. Shota Umino & Hikuleo & Jado - Narita, Suzuki, and Despy joined forces as Strong Style earlier this year, but they haven't had much to do with each other since dropping the NEVER trios title. The other team is coming off of Hikuleo eliminating Umino from the G1, which might be awkward. Jado is here as Hikuleo's buddy and the guy who will lose this match.

Alex Coughlin & Gabe Kidd vs. Toru Yano & Tomoaki Honma - Coughlin and Kidd at the STRONG tag team champions, but the title is not at stake. This match is more about previewing Coughlin vs. Kidd on August 9. Man, Honma is gonna get crushed in this match.

Jeff Cobb & Great-O-Khan vs. Kaito Kiyomiya & Ryohei Oiwa - I'm not expecting much from this match but we did get an interesting talking point from the August 6 show, where Taichi gave Khan the motivation he's been needing. So I'm sure the announcers will spend the whole match wondering if this will lead to Khan trying to jump from the United Empire to Just 5 Guys. Anyway, Oiwa will get beat here.