#slitherin away

[bumbleboa]

I find it hilarious that I've been subscribed to your twitch and following you on twitter for forever now, but it took me until like.. last month to realize that the Genshin fanart showing up on my Tumblr dashboard that looked SO familiar in style.. that that was yours. It all makes so much sense now! No question, I just really like your art! Have a nice day!

Thank you for following me on twitch and twitter for all this time! It's funny how these things work out sometime and to be fair, I have different usernames across my fandom accounts to make it extra confusing for everyone involved.

Thank you for the kind words!

[southern-gothic-comic]

Page 68

Next 💜 Back 🖤 First

Patreon 💜 Art Prints 🖤Books!

(Author Notes)

Panel 1: Nighttime. Pâté does a dance in accompaniment to Laudna’s singing by the light of a campfire.

Panel 2: They have made camp in the woods, Imogen lies on the bedroll with her chin cupped in her hands, watching the performance.

Imogen: Wanna know somethin' funny? This is my first real night away from home.

Laudna: Oh! Are you feeling homesick?

Imogen: No. Not yet, anyway.

Panel 3: The campfire scene transitions to a similar one, with a group of kids in scout uniforms, including Imogen at about 8 years old, gathered around the fire listening to a scout leader telling a story.

Imogen: (VO) One time when I was a li'l kid I went on this campin' trip with my Highlands Scout troop. I'd been excited about it for weeks, collectin' all the badges you had to earn to be allowed to go. We all stayed up late, listenin' to the Scout Masters tell stories about all the horrible things that happened in those very woods we were campin' in . . . you know, the bard who gambled away his soul to the antlered man at the crossroads, the weepin' woman with a snake body slitherin' around lookin’ for children to replace her own that she drowned, the three kids who went in the woods after their parents told 'em not to and got eaten by the mountain hag . . . that kinda thing.

Laudna: Sounds like my kind of party.

Panel 4: Later. Young Imogen is lying awake in her bedroll, petrified with fear.

Imogen: Well, I couldn't sleep for terror after that. One of the Scout Masters had to take me home to my dad. Never did live that one down at school.

Panel 5: Back in the present. Smiling at her warmly, Laudna snuggles down to sleep.

Laudna: And now here you are.

Imogen: Here I am.

Laudna: Sleeping in the woods next to a dead girl.

Imogen: Laudna, don't say that about yourself. And don't believe any of that horseshit they said about you back in Gelvaan, either. You're alive. (a pause, during which Laudna does not contradict her) You're alive!

Laudna: Goodnight, darling. I'm glad you're here with me.

[dabisbratz]

uh sitting on shidos lap n doing his makeup, while he has a tiight hold on ur thighs playin with em n shit. he tries to rut ur ass against his cock while you work, but you scold him for squirming around too much. he was gonna mess you up!

he tries to stay still but he just cant help it.. just the thought of having his cock in you is makin him all hard. oh well. whats a bit of smudged eyeliner to him pounding ur ass into the mattress💗

ahhhh he’s so pretty!! he already has problems sittin still, n it’s especially hard when his handsome boyfriend is a few inches from his face but… he tries his hardest for you. even if his hands are wanderin n slitherin up your shirt or down your pants. swattin him away just earns sharper, more consistent grabbin n squeezin, paired with a low n scarily serious grumble of ‘i’m not done yet.’

omgomg that last part??? shido’s a crier, he gets so lost n blissed out in it that he goes a lil manic— all erratic n rough n hard. n the whole time there’s tears in his eyes n his eyeliner n mascara starts runnin down his face, leavin behind streaky tracks. even though you’re technically on top of him, cause you’re sittin in his lap, he’s holdin your hips still n piledrivin into you from below. doesn’t help that he came untouched from grindin against you earlier— he’s still ridin that post-orgasm high so it feels so good. nyway, your complaints about his ruined eyeliner even when you’re gettin fucked within an inch of your life really spurs him on, he tells you to grab the applicator n try again as he uses you like a fleshlight since you’re so upset about it ♡

[androgynousblackbox]

Can't Remember To Forget You. 2 [Appleradio, Radioapple]

Chapter 2: Your first laugh

Alastor adjusted his bowtie for the last time and then the hoodie of the onesie for Artemis. When he was sure that they both presented the impeccable image of two respectable people just coming to pay a friendly visit, nothing else, he made his way to entrance of possibly the tackiest building he had seen in his entire life. Supposedly his place of work. Although with all the months he spend away in Heaven, whatever position he had possibly had been filled already by someone else. Even so, a simple conversation about what position that was surely could't hurt anyone.

Not like just thinking about it the entire night could do. Not like turning around in the bed wondering why he couldn't remember his own job and drinking to marginally cushion the pain in his head could be. Not like stay awake in bed and contemplate the ceiling knowing on a fundamental level that he was still missing something. He had thought that feeling would die out the moment he was back at his home, in Hell, that the sole cause of it had to be being in Heaven as a soul that had already been rejected, but if anything, it had only become even more transparent. Like the low buzzing of a angry hive full of bees who never knew the meaning of rest, on his head and his body, all the time.

No, surely nobody would mind to that level.

With a sigh, Alastor came inside the building. It only took him a few steps towards the reception desk when he heard something shatter. On the nearby bar, a snake demon had just dropped his glass and continued gazing at him as if couldn't believe it. Alastor very vaguely thought he recognized his face, but couldn't be entirely sure. The man at the bar, in the other hand, he had no issue recognizing. One of his oldest ex-contracts that he lost after his second death.

"Husker!" greeted, moving there. The snake demon kept staring with a mouth slightly agape, but then cover up quickly at seeing Artemis. "I completely forgot that you worked here until just now! Isn't that just funny?"

Husk swallowed up hard as he extended a hand to the snake demon, squeezing his arm. Whatever message that was supposed to deliver, the snake demon got it and nodded once, slitherin away from them.

"Hey" said Husk, frowning slightly. "Nice kid" added, shaking his head as if he couldn't believe that was what came out of him.

"Indeed. Name is Artemis. I am sure that if they knew to talk they would say it was quite the pleasure, for you, of course" Alastor pet the blonde head. Artemis's kept staring into Husk as he drooled over the skull shaker on their hands. A brief look around the place told him that the inside was just as tacky, if not worse. "Where is the manager of this place, my good fried? I would like to have a chat. I recently came back to the swing of things in Hell and naturally, one of my first items on the to do list was to see my old boss."

Husk cleared his throat.

"The manager?"

"Yes, the manager. Your boss and from what I heard, mine too" Alastor tilted his head. Why would he need to clarify that? "Are they around here or not?"

"You…" Husk looked to a side for a moment. "Uhm, who told you that?"

That did gave him some pause. Was the information of Mimzy wrong somehow? After all, he did not remember working on that place, but being inside of it, looking at the wall, it didn't feel strange either. And she talked so confidently about him kicking her out. A little bit more of his own research was enough to discover that the place had been declared off limits by his own command for any trying Overlord in Hell.

So he cared about that place, enough to want it protected. Perhaps he was hired to do that, but never actually spend a lot of time in the building itself? It did sound odd to him why would he be invested at all in the redemption business, with his own already being such a massive failure. Maybe just to laugh at sinners falling. He could see himself doing that, if he was especially bored.

"That matters none to you" replied, without losing his smile. "Like I said, I just want a chat. That is all. I don't think my request is nothing close to unreasonable."

The eyes of Husk darted beyond him. When Alastor followed the direction of his gaze, the snake man had already brought by the arm a young looking woman in a red suit that seemed to be paralyzed in place. Both her eyes, one red and the other yellow, stared at him with something he couldn't identify as horror exactly, but was close to it. Near her a woman of her same stature was looking between her and him.

"Is she?" asked Alastor to Husk in a lower voice. When the winged cat nodded subtly, he perked up. As he moved to her, he extended his hand to shake her. Her grasp was weak, as if she still haven't gained control back of her body. "Good afternoon, maam! I bet that it has been a while since we have seen each other! Charlie Morningstar, wasn't it? The princess of Hell with her little project to try to save the souls of sinners! What a display of naive ambition!" As the mismatched eyes of her landed on his baby, he let her go. "Oh, please don't mind my little assistant here. Their babysitter was busy and so I had no other option to bring them over. But they are exceptionally well behaved so I am sure they will be nothing but a delight while they are here."

"Uh…" came out finally from Charlie. A few quick tears escaped her before she whipped her face, minimizing them with a smile. If nobody else was goig to address it, Alastor wasn't going to do it. "Y-yes, it has been a while. We don't mind at all" She took a step closer and stared at Artemis, blinking fast. "They are… so cute. What is their name?" asked, squeezing the hand of the woman at her side.

Alastor gave her a second look, the smell of something corrupt reaching his being. Somehow he just knew that meant that was another fallen like him. She probably recognized him as well.

"Artemis Abaddon" said with a note of pride, holding one of the black little hands to wave softly", happy to make your acquaintance."

The smile of Charlie faded in for a moment at hearing him. That is when the other fallen came up.

"Alastor" said, offering her own hand too, the one that wasn't holding the princess. "I don't know if you remember me? I am Emily Morningstar. I haven't been here for long so it wouldn't be surprising if you didn't."

Thank goodness he had done his research already. He gave to her his staff to shake. To her credit, she accepted the offering instantly.

"Of course. Who could forget about the fallen angel that became another princess of Hell? Quite the eventful journey that must have been."

The polite smile of Emily twitched slightly.

"Yes" said, pursing her lips as he returned to the side of Charlie. "So, what bring you back here, Alastor?"

"Well, simply put, I was hoping we could talk about my old position in this place? The one I had before my prolonged retirement. I understand that it has been a while and that position was probably filled in already, but…"

"It's yours" said Charlie. "When can you start?"

Alastor blinked.

"Just like that?" couldn't help to question.

"Just like that" insisted Charlie. "I don't need anything more. When can you start?"

"Well!" Alastor stomped his cane on the floor. That was easier than expected. "If that is the case… what was the position again, dear? I am afraid I have been away enough for that little detail to escape my mind."

"Very understandable" commented Emily, nodding.

"You were our hotelier" said Charlie, her smile returning somewhat. "You… protected the hotel and all of its residents. Sometimes had to make reparations around the building. You also lived with us" added, grabbing the front of her shirt. "You… can have any room you want."

"Oh" Alastor looked down, to the precious cargo against his chest. Now happily nomming on their own hand. "I will need some accommodations."

"Anything you want" said Charlie just as Emily lifted a hand.

"Actually, we have a nursery already" Charlie stared at her, only for Emily to nod her head. She made a gesture for him to follow, taking her sister with her to the second floor. Alastor went behind them, his curiosity peaked now. "We… kinda almost had a sinner with a baby staying with us" continued on Emily. "In the end, she decided she didn't really want to try redemption and so she left, but the nursery is still there" She chuckled, scratching her cheek. "We… may have gone a little overboard preparing it as soon we find out there would be a baby here. If you don't take it, then nobody is going to use it and that is kinda sad."

"I see" Alastor stopped when they did, in front of a door that looked to be exactly the same as all others.

Emily looked to Charlie and made a head gesture. Charlie let out a little oh and then pressed her hand on the doorknob. As soon she did, the illusion spell on the door vanished, revealing a red with golden details instead. A sign, obviously painted by a not very skillful hand, hang at the front to declare it was, in fact, a nursery.

"Like I said, it was unused for some time" said Emily as Charlie opened up. One flick of the switch later, the lights turned on.

The two princesses came inside and Alastor looked around. It was big, it was full of toys and even the carpet over which they were all walking was softer than the one in the hallway. On a corner the craddle was already set up with a curtain hung from above, coming out from a moose skull.

"If you need anything else…" said Charlie, staying behind, with Emily "don't hesitate to tell us. We want Artemis to be as comfortable as possible."

Alastor let his fingers brush against a shelf that contained an old timey radio, unplugged. He knew the thing worked perfectly, of course. Just like he knew someone had to turn it on recently for the dials to be dust free.

"Oh, and it won't have nothing to do with your own salary" added Emily, squeezing her hands together in front of her. Somehow she had caught on to his next question. "You don't have to pay for anything, so don't worry about any of that. We can also babysit for them if you ever need it. It won't be any trouble at all for us. We would… love to, actually."

Right. The princesses of Hell never had to think about money as an obstacle for anything. He neither, when he could slaughter his way to get what he wanted, but something about the way those two looked at him, waiting for his response, touched something he wasn't expecting. They were sincere, as much as he could percieve, and that alone was already rare in Hell.

"Do any of you have any experience taking care of babies?" asked, letting his reason overwrite the first impulse to just accept their offer.

"I read a lot about it!" said Emily, enthusiastic.

"So no."

"We can learn" insisted Charlie, adamant. "We… we can also ask papa" added, earning a second look from Emily. But she didn't say anything as her sister continued. "He can teach us anything we don't know. He is not here now, he had to deal with some stuff in the Wrath ring, but we can call him if we need to."

Alastor's lips twitched at the suggestion. Her father couldn't mean anything else but the king. A man so powerful that could probably kill everyone in the building without breaking a sweat at all. Alastor recoiled at the idea. Whether the devil had experience raising kids or not was too small of a factor to start trusting his own kid to him. The princesses were another issue entirely.

"I guess I could make some time to make sure you have the basics down" conceded finally. He hold the sides of Artemis to pull them up their carrier. "Luckily for both of you, it's about the perfect moment for you to learn how to keep a baby clean and comfortable. Not the most glamorous part of raising a child, but a necesary one."

The two princess did follow each of his movements attentively and not once they complained about the smell. Alastor had them both repeat the process to make sure they got everything right. Artemis let themselves be handled easily, moving their hooves only after Charlie had put their onesie back on again. Alastor lifted them on his arms, making sure to point out the importance of holding their head, until the small body rested against his shoulder. He rubbed the back of Artemis as he nodded to the silent question in the air. He still wanted to be present for the most part, but now felt more confident than before about his decision.

"Very well" commented with a little smirk as he shrugged. "I guess we can stay after all."

Charlie squealed and moved to him with her arms extended. Then she seemed to think about that better, laughing to herself as she offered her hand again to make it official.

Bringing all his belongings through his shadows was notoriously easy. Of course, his room would have to be the next next to the nursery. As his minions worked on the modifications to have it more of his liking, Alastor put Artemis to nap on their new craddle after giving them a bottle of baby formula. The lessons about how to prepare and how to feed them properly had been taught and learned. With a snap of fingers, Alastor had a slow calming music coming off his staff that he put against the wall.

"Would you maybe like to hear about their other parent?" offered in the end.

If nobody was going to make any questions about it then fuck it, he was going to offer the information anyway. He had thought about that story long enough to feel like it would be a waste if he never got to tell it. Besides, that story was going to be what he told Artemis when he was old enough to want to know about their origins. He had to make sure that it was good enough and for that, nothing better than to gauge the reaction of a public before then.

The two princesses exchanged a look between each other. Charlie’s jaw was sealed shut as if by concrete. Emily rubbed her arm and nodded. She was the one who spoke again.

“Sure” They sat down on the couches of the corner. Alastor made sure to be on the one that still allowed him to keep watch over the craddle. “Coffee?” offered Emily, already extending her hands with her fingers at the ready.

“If you don't mind, dear” Alastor was surprised that she had clocked that he would prefer coffee over any other drink. Was he that obvious?

One snap of was all it took for her to make three cups appear. The one with coffee hot enough to burn skin was obviously for him, while the other two had tea on them. Emily didn't offer him any sugar or cream and he appreciated that. Certainly she had good instincts to read people's preferences.

The coffee itself wasn't as good as the one he made, but it was acceptable enough that he could stomach it for the moment. As he started talking, only Emily took a few sips from her own cup while Charlie didn't even reach for her own not even once. Her eyes remained focused straight on him, though, as if she needed to absorb every detail she could before the moment faded away.

Once he started, he found it easy to keep going. All his improvisation skills came out like he had never taken a rest, bringing up little more details just to add some more flavor. Like how they didn't get along at first because it was only wiser to be distrustful of anyone you knew had any king of power. Ever since coming to Hell Alastor was never someone to be underestimated, but Artemis's father wasn't either. A true beast if he could be unleashed on a crowd he had deemed worthy of his violence. A powerful, intimidating entity that could only command the respect and terror of those who looked at him. Naturally, Alastor despised him on sight. The respect came, eventually, when he realized that his cruelty was never capricious. The same hands that could crash skulls and break necks could also be gentle, friendly. Before he knew it, they were having conversations late at night without barely touching their drinks, as if they had found something so interesting to pay attention to. They trusted each other, as much as anyone is able to trust anyone in Hell that is. By the time he suggested starting a family together, there was some sense to it that Alastor couldn't refuse. They were both exceptionally strong beings in Hell. They could face any obstacles on their way together. If any kid was ever going to be safe in Hell, it was going to be their own, until they came to unleash their own power over some deserving targets. There was never any talk of marriage between them. They didn't had that kind of relationship. Alastor never had such inclination towards anyone before and that was no exception. But there was a mutual, unbreakable sense of trust and respect that it was even better than that. They could rely on each other like they couldn't on anybody else. What else could anyone possibly want out of the father for their children?

But it wasn't in the cards for them to last. The same day that Alastor find out that their attempts had bear fruit and their officially waiting, was also the day of another Extermination. Normally, his fallen would be already at his side and wait it out at home, as always. But he had been aiming to get that deal for so long and his target finally was willing to make it official. Or so he was told. By the time he realized it was an ambush, the exorcist had already spot him in the place.

“I obviously took care to eliminate those traitors later, of course” added Alastor cheerfully. “I made a fine dinner with their remains in honor of my fallen companion. I made sure most of them were alive to see me do it. It was a lot of food, but I had a big appetite, eating for two now, so I didn't leave even their bones behind” He chuckled. “That helped tremendously with the grieving process, let me tell you. I hope you understand I can't share with you his real name. His enemies would have a field day if they knew the way he went out and I don't feel like giving them that. Someday maybe I will just eliminate all of them and be done with that concern. For now, I have my little Artemis to remember him by and I couldn't ask for a better homage to him than raise them to be the terror that their father was.”

“Bullshit.”

Alastor returned his focus from Artemis to the horned princess, taken aback.

“Pardon?”

“That is a load of bullshit. All of it” Alastor could not understand why she looked so angry. She send to her sister a glare, tears already pressing against the confines of her eyelids to be spilled. “Are we supposed to be okay with that? You…” Her hands were trembling at her sides as she stood up, gnarling her teeth at him, “you don't even sound like you liked telling it! You yourself didn't believe a word of it and it shows!”

Alastor never had someone saying that about any of his stories. Well, it was the first draft for a reason. He had no idea that his manager was so passionate about the subject.

“Charlie…” started Emily, reaching out a hand for her, but Charlie moved away.

“No! This is all bullshit!” Artemis started to whine from his cradle. Soon enough, his cries filled the room. Babies didn't take kindly to the interruption of their nap. As Alastor stood to take care of them, Charlie covered up her mouth, appropriately ashamed of herself. “I am sorry” said to Emily. Although he was giving his back, Alastor could feel her red and yellow eyes on him. “I am sorry.”

With that, the princess storm off the nursery leaving a sob behind. Alastor hummed gently as he rocked Artemis from side to side.

“I know, I know, my polka dot” he sighed, brushing back the blonde hair out of their face. “A rude awakening is never pleasant. You have every right to be upset about it.”

Emily sighed from the couch, standing up.

“Please forgive her. She didn't mean to do that. She… she has been under a lot of pressure lately.”

Alastor kissed Artemis's forehead, holding them against his shoulder. The little black fist agitated against his suit, the piercing sound of their cries making him angry too. Not at them though. Never them.

“She can't be shouting like that near a sleeping baby” Alastor kept his voice calm, but not any less firm. “Babies need their sleep, more than any of us do. If she didn't like my performance there were better ways to say it.”

“We… yes, you are right. I am sorry, it won't happen again. For whatever is worth, it was a good story. You… you have a real talent for those.”

Alastor finally turned to see her, lifting his chin. Her own yellow eyes were watery as well and the grip on her own hands was shaking with a different emotion than her sister. But other than that, she seemed sincere enough. He huffed through his nose, only partially pacified.

“In front of my child, that is the whole truth and nothing else but the truth” insisted. “She can have her own opinions, but I won't allow anyone to ruin that story for them. Are we clear?”

"Y-yes" Emily lowered her head. "We won't, I promise. It was a one time mistake.”

“Well, I hope so. I can't stay where my own child can't even take a nap in peace.”

When she looked up again, it felt like he announced that her puppy had just being run over and was fighting for its life at the hospital.

“It won't happen again” repeated before taking a deep breath and shake her head slightly. “I am sorry, but I should really check on her. Please, just stay with us and we will do our best for little Artemis.”

Alastor didn't bother to answer, attending to his baby. Words were cheap. Anyone could say anything and it wouldn't mean anything. For all he knew, even the real other parent of Artemis could have promised they were going to be a family and then didn't. Emily must have gotten the message because she moved to the door.

“You… you are a really good dad. Artemis is very lucky.”

Alastor turned to say that of course, he knew that already. But she was already gone.

—-----

Settling down, ultimately, was easier than expected. Another one of his ex contracts, a delightfully insane cyclope, came by to greet him and then stay glued to his legs for a good part of an hour until a cockroach called her attention. He had also completely forgotten about she working there, but he gave her head a pat and was glad to promise that she never, ever, would be left alone with Artemis as far he had any say on it. Babies were too messy for her nerves and prone to not combine well with sharp objects for Alastor's. They were both satisfied with that arrangement. Despite her need to exterminate a pest from her vicinity, she didn't leave him until he assured her he was there to stay. For the moment at least. Only then did she run off.

At the afternoon, Charlie came by to apologize again and promise she would do anything to make sure Artemis was safe, so please don't go. By then Alastor had calmed down enough to offer a silent nod. They would see about that.

But at night, though, Artemis wiggled on his bed, nothing close to actually sleeping after their meal, a bath and Alastor telling them another story. He thought that their restlessness would disappear the moment they were back in Hell, where the warm foul air embraced them both fully unlike Heaven’s, but clearly he was wrong. Not that his own sleep schedule was any better, but he wasn't a two month creature whose brain was still developing.

In Heaven taking them for a long walk used to work, so he could only assume it would do the same just now. Who knew, maybe it could help him to sleep as well. He strapped the carrier to his chest again and put Artemis there, walking over to the garden and admiring the demonic flowers blinking at them. Sometimes Artemis babbled while looking at something that caught their eyes and Alastor took the chance to explain the name and capabilities of each specimen they passed by. He never had too much interest in gardening, but somehow he just knew all those facts that felt appropriate to share.

A soft calming music accompanied them along. The screams, sound of shooting, fighting and disaster that were the natural background of Hell at all times seemed somehow quieter that night, making it easier to relax. But it was there, it was always there, lively, chaotic and violent, and Alastor couldn't be more grateful because he got to live it all over again. They were truly created for Hell, both of them.

He didn't know how long they were out there, but he had to assume it was more than enough for him to get hungry. Some of his minions had brought the contents of his fridge over to the hotel's. A bite to the last carcass he had, because he didn't feel like cooking , and then they could go to bed finally. As he came inside to the kitchen, however, he saw that someone else was already looking for their own snack. Instantly he just knew that wasn't either of the residents he already met. He got a sweet smell tickling his nose and it wasn't unpleasant, even though he didn't really like sweets. Just as he considered clear his throat to make his presence known, someone got ahead of him.

Artemis, his usually calm, usually silent baby, just started laughing loudly on the spot. Any amount of sleepiness they had gained was seemingly gone, kicking their little legs and flapping their arms.

Of course whoever was bend over in front of the fridge stood up. A snap of finger later all the lights turned on and a tiny blonde man closed the door, gasping.

“Oh my! And who is this little buddy?” cooed the man, coming closer with a smile of pure joy on his face. Artemis agitated even further, bouncing on their carrier, their laughter almost sounding like excited screams. “Well, aren't you a happy little one! Were you taking a little walk to see if you got sleepy, sweetie? It didn't work at all, didn't it? No, it didn't work at all, you precious little rascal” The man giggled himself and finally looked up to him. “What is his name?”

It took a second for Alastor to respond. His baby never had that kind of reaction to anyone or anything before. It should make him happy, but he was mostly just confused.

“Their name is Artemis” said finally, holding their chest, but they were not calming down.

Their little hands were extending forward and slapping the air as if wanting to grab the man in front. The eyes of the tiny man crinkled with his smile.

“Artemis. I like it! They are a little social cutie, aren't they? Can I hold them?” The man perked up, his expression turning to plead. “I promise I have experience with babies. They will be perfectly safe with me.”

The man hasn't even presented himself. Alastor knew he was another fallen like him, but that was it. By all means, he couldn't trust a complete stranger with his baby. But in the other hand, the longer he was taking to answer, the more the sounds of Artemis were turning from happy to complaints, making effort noises they never made before.

“Be careful” warned, gently pulling them out. They just wouldn't stay still, reaching forwrd. “If anything happens to them, I am eating your head for breakfast.”

The man laughed at the very serious threat, as it was a joke or had nothing to fear from it.

“Of course! Are you the father of them then?” asked, their own black hands reaching out. Alastor's shadow circled the tiny man, ready to take Artemis out of his grasp and return them if necessary. “Oh, right, you have the same cute ears so you gotta. My bad.”

Alastor felt his own ears flapping. Whoever this fallen was, clearly he had no idea at all of who he was talking to. Alastor couldn't imagine a lot of people who would casually tell the King Overlord that his ears were cute. The comment was still praising Artemis's ears too, which undoubtedly were the cutest ears known to man, so Alastor found it somewhat hard to be too upset about it.

“I am” said, holding their head delicately as he passed them over. Despite not fully intending to, his tentacles also surrounded Artemis by a few centimeters just in case. The tiny man didn't seem to take any offense to that at least, waiting patiently with his own arms in position. “Their only parent” added before any other question.

“Gotcha” The man smiled. When Alastor finally started to let Artemis go, he knew to accommodate the giggling baby near his chest. Artemis took a hold of his hand and, as to be expected, took it to their mouth to drool all over it with the biggest smile Alastor had seen. Their eyes were staring at the man as if they never had never seen something more fascinating. That only seemed to please the man even more as he gently rocked them. Both his shadow and tentacles were very much there, but his shadow looked less apprehensive now. “Such a darling cutie. Aren't you, little buddy? Aren't you? Such a precious darling one. Happy baby makes for a happy daddy!” When Artemis giggled again, kicking their hooves in the air, the man took the chance to nuzzle their face. “How old are they?” asked without lifting his gaze from them.

Alastor knew he should probably take some kind of offense to that. But if the focus was his own kid he could forgive it a little.

“Two months.”

The man gasped again.

“Two whole months? Aww, they are so cute at that age! Appreciate this time, man, because it passes by way too quickly” He sighed, caressing the soft chubby cheeks. “I miss when my Charlie was like this. She was also the happiest little baby.”

A scratching record sound cut through the air. The moment the name Charlie escaped his lips, Alastor felt like the biggest idiot. How could not see that was obviously Charlie's father? There were some features that he didn't had that Charlie did, and Charlie did not have deep dark eyebags colorig her white skin, but their relation was undeniable and he couldn't understand why he didn't made the connection before. A second later another realization hit him: that was the king of Hell the one cooeing and making kissy faces over his baby. Probably more shocking than that, his baby was absolutely loving it. Not even with Rosie they acted like that.

"Your Majesty" said and the man lifted his head, not at all surprised to be recognized by his title. "I need to put them to sleep."

"Right, yeah, of course" The king chuckled softly and left a kiss on the forehead of Artemis, making the baby to kick the air with another giggle. "Go with daddy now, little buddy, okay? Are you staying with us now?" asked next, taking a step forward to Alastor.

"Yes. Starting today, I am the new hotelier. Alastor Abaddon, at your service, sire. Quite the pleasure, I am sure" said, trying to hold his baby.

But the moment he started to lift them from the king's arm, Artemis's happy face immediately changed into a frown and made wordless protest sounds. Alastor lifted his hands, leaving them where they were, and Artemis smiled again looking at the devil. A second attempt brought the exact same results, with Artemis managing to yell at him. He couldn't help but to feel offended by that. Nine months carrying them on his body, only to be repayed like that? Parenthood was truly a thankless job.

"Aww, come on, don't take it personally" The king chuckled gently as he rocked Artemis side to side, calmin them again. "I am just the shiny new thing in their proximity. They know who their dad is at the end of the day. Give them a week or so and they won't care at all if I am around or not."

Alastor bite his bottom lip to not comment that Artemis was not acting like his usual self, that nobody before had gotten such a reaction from them. He was going straight to his grave without ever telling that to anyone, less than anything to the king himself. The man did not need to know he was being adored by someone else. Surely he had plenty of people doing that already.

Instead, he huffed.

"If that is how it's going to be" said with a sigh, accepting defeat, "could you at least carry them back to their cradle? They have been up long enough."

"Sure! It would be my pleasure" The king smiled again, just as happy to get some more time with Artemis as Artemis was to be with him. "Show the way, mister hotelier."

Alastor did, keeping his shadow to follow the shadow of the king just in case. The monarch started to happily sing to them by only saying nana in different tones. His own black hand was holding the small one to follow the rythm he had just made up. As they went up the stairs, he saw the familiar flash of Niffty's red dress dissapearing on a corner. It wasn't surprising that she too would be up to those hours, possibly chasing another pest.

When they reached his room, his chimney turned on instantly with a soft green glow. The king looked at it and then at the portion that contained his bayou, but didn't made any comment so Alastor prefered to believe he was just admiring it.

"Here" said, patting the black craddle next to his bed.

"Right on" The king made goofy faces to Artemis, which kept them entertained enough as he bended over the cradle and lowered their tiny body. The little hand hold his finger still. Alastor could see the monarch trying to push his hand out of their grasp, only for Artemis squeeze more with the same innocent smile. "Wow, they are pretty strong, huh?"

Alastor hummed with a nod. That was his child, of course they were.

"Mmm" The king pursed his lips to a side and then perked up. "Oh, wait. This used to work with Charlie" commented, snapping his fingers on his other hand. A little poof of red magic later, a duckie with a white top hat landed on his palm. "Don't worry, it's completely safe for the kiddos" added to Alastor with a wink, correctly interpretating his face as about to stop him. He sat down again as the monarch offered the duckie to the baby. The red eyes of Artemis light up and made a cooeing noise as they reached out, forgetting all about their previous focus. "Voilá!" The king showed off his free hand just as Artemis took the duckie to their mouth. "Told you their attention span doesn't last long."

"Who knew that literal babies can be distracted so easily" commented Alastor, smirking. "You should keep that secret lock up tight, your Majesty. Humanity is not ready for such a revelation. I shudder to think on the horrors they could unleash if they knew something as big as that."

The king snorted.

"Alright, wise guy, you are welcome" He waved to Artemis over their craddle. Artemis smiled around the top hat of the duckie, kicking their hooves. "Good night, sweetie. Sleep tight and be good to daddy now" The monarch then lifted his head and winked an eye at him. "If you need anything for them, let me know. Us single parents have to stick together. It doesn't cost me anything at all."

Oh, he was sure. Being the king with infinite resources at his disposition already implied that. One of his ears flickered with a growing sense of irritation.

"Kind offer, sir, but I am perfectly capable of…"

"Lucifer!" came out the voice of Husk, slipping right outside his door. The claws of the winged cat grabbed to the framme as he straighten up, looking inside from both of them to the baby. Apparently relieved to find them just talking, his shoulders relaxed just a little. "Lucifer, sir, we… we didn't kow you came back."

"Oh, hi, Husk" Lucifer perked up. "Yeah, finished all the stuff with Satan and came back as soon as I could. I was hoping to surprise Charlie and Emily in the morning, but then I got hungry and met these two in the kitchen. I didn't even know we were looking for an hotelier, but hey, nice to know that position is taken already."

"Great. That is great" Husk's eyes jumped from one to another. "Lucifer, I… remember what I told you about giving you a sweet drink when you are back? You can take one now. But you have to come with me now, it's a… limited offer."

"Uh, sure! I can drink something" Lucifer turned to Alastor. "Wanna join?"

For a moment it seemed that Husk didn't even breath waiting for his response. Alastor could only imagine that he still wasn't fully comfortable with him, even after their contract was destroyed. Normally Alastor would be glad to join in just to rub it on the cat's face that he could do it and there was nothing he could do to stop him. If they were going to be working together from now on, then he better started getting used to his presence. But he still didn't fully trusted to leave Artemis just with his shadow behind. Besides, after all that walking, he himself could feel a little tired. Maybe now they could both finally rest.

"I will pass, your Majesty. In another ocassion."

"Looking forward to it" The man chuckled, looking at Artemis. "Well, whenever you want to just talk about dad stuff, my door is always open. Have a good night!"

Alastor responded in kind as the king walked over to Husk, who patted his shoulder and send him another look before they both went away. Alastor closed the door with his shadow and snapped into his pajama. Was his imagination or the air still lingered with the sweet smell that surrounded the devil? Before turning his lights off, Alastor looked again at the craddle where Artemis was blinking now slowly, still holding to his new toy. The smell had to be coming from it, no doubt about it. Alastor considered try to replace it with some of the many new toys they already had, but felt too lazy. Maybe tomorrow.

On the next day, Alastor had his own breakfast on his room when Charlie came to check on him and Artemis. Yes, they were both perfectly okay. No, there was no issue with the king whatsoever last night. He just prefered some privacy before going about the rest of his day. What was his schedule for the day? Oh, nothing that exciting. Just an Overlord meeting in Carmilla's territory, to which he had to take Artemis since Rosie was coming too, and then get some stuff he still needed to make a new radio studio for himself. Charlie looked to be excited for a second, but then caught herself and laughed it off to just wish him a good day out there. After she was gone, Alastor finished with his meat and came out with Artemis against his chest. He tried to ignore the sense of annoyance that came by when realizing they were still not letting go of that silly duckie and would start to cry if he tried or fell off.

“I know sinking your teeth in stuff is fun, dear, but I do not understand your preference” commented shaking his head as he made his way to the lobby.

Still no shadow travels with the baby. He probably should have to wait until Artemis was at least four for that and even then, be gentle about it until they grew up more. As he passed by the other residents, he dedicated them a slight nod as a good enough greeting.

Luckily, he didn't find any of the other Overlords on his way to the building where they were told to go.

“I know this is a bore, polka dot, but it's part of dad's job” said as he went up the stairs, rather than the elevator. “Endure it with me and it will finish sooner than later. Maybe someday you will have a chance of occupying your own chair as well and then you can bore all of us. And maybe I will have killed anyone who opposed your place there. Wouldn't that be fun?” he hummed, patting their head as they came out to the hallway. Artemis made cooing noises in response, drooling over the duckie. “That is right. I can make it as slow or fast as my little one requires.”

Once inside the conference room, he took his place near the head of the table. Rosie, naturally, was the only one who was not surprised at all by their visitor. She smiled and left a black kiss on the face of the baby before she cleaned up again.

As all the other chair started being occupied, Carmilla appeared with her two daughters at her side. She didn't notice anything at first as she looked over her notes.

“Good morning, everyone. Glad that you could make it.”

“Hey” said Missi Zilla. “Is nobody going to question why there is a baby here?”

“A baby?” Alastor took a hand to his chest, as if scandalized. “Now who would be so irresponsible to bring in a baby to meet a bunch of dangerous Overlords?”

Carmilla lifted her eyes, immediately landing on Artemis staring in amazement at the multicolor dragon.

“You?” Missi Zilla almost chuckled in her confusion. Now the rest of the presents were following the exchange.

“Oh, you mean this?” Alastor took one of the tiny black hands on his. “This is no baby. This is my new partner in crime, Artemis Abaddon. The name is a total coincidence. Leader of a dangerous Russian mob famous for their incredibly convincing disguises and deadly ways. Don't get confused by the adorable face they are choosing to wear today. This is an extremely dangerous and temperamental individual that should be treated with the utmost care to avoid a massacre. Not even I would dare to get on their way. I recommend keeping a healthy distance, for everyone's safety.”

Rosie at his side nodded with a smile on her face. The rest of the seated Overlords looked at each other. Zestial tilted his head as he smiled at little Artemis, sending them a little wave when the red eyes acknowledged him.

“Alright, man. You could just say leave it alone” Missi Zilla reclined on her chair as she scratched her head.

“How old is… this Russian mob leader?” asked Carmilla, coughing into her hand.

“They are a hundred years old, each year filled with more blood than the last. But for the sake of their disguise, I guess you could say two months old. What is that, dear?” Alastor inclined his head as Artemis looked up, agitating the duckie on their other hand. “Yes, you are very right. My associate would like to start already with this meeting. They have very important business to attend to and heads to roll. I don't even want to imagine the horrors they could unleash in this room if not listened to.”

Carmilla cleared her throat. Her face remained straight as always, but Alastor could see the tiny smile that escaped her for a second before she retained it again.

“Of course. Very well, as you all know, we are looking into alternative routes to make business with the other rings…”

It was, predictably, an incredibly boring and mundane meeting. Alastor felt a tinge of envy when the Russian mob leader started nodding off on their carrier. The moment their eyes closed for good, Alastor caught the duckie that fell off and held it in his hand as he pretended to care about any of this. By the end, Carmilla just asked them to present an updated report of how many soul contracts they have done in the last five months and that was it. Alastor stood up next to Rosie, who gave a gentle shake to the hand of a sleeping Artemis. The tiny blonde ears flickered slightly.

“Always a pleasure to meet you, darling. Will I see you today later at the Emporium?”

“I am afraid not, Rosie dear. We have plans to make a new radio studio today and maybe start broadcasting. I am once again working at the Hazbin Hotel so I need to find the best space for it” He paid attention to his friend's face when saying that. Just as expected, there was no trace of surprise or confusion for her. She knew about his previous job already.

“Yes, I heard” Rosie sighed, rubbing his arm. “Take care of yourself, dearie.”

“You too” Alastor nodded his head as the Cannibal Overlord moved to the elevators. He was about to leave when, finally, he could hear the familiar sound of scissor cutting the air. “Yes?” said, turning around to find Carmilla there.

She looked beyond him to make sure that everyone else was gone. Once that was confirmed, she bended over to be at eye level with Artemis and actually squealed. It would only make sense that a mother would have a positive reaction seeing a baby on her proximity. But Alastor was actually surprised by hers, although he didn't show it at all.

“Awww, pero mira qué cosita más bonita! Was the grown up meeting too boring, preciosura? I know, pretty thing, but it had to be done, I am sorry. Pequeña criaturita bella” She sighed with a big smile that instantly faded away as she looked up to him. “You should really look for a babysitter for them next time. Today was fine, but you know how everyone is and I can't guarantee that they will keep it child friendly next time.”

“My usual babysitter was here with us, I had no choice.”

“Rosie?”

Alastor nodded.

“Look for someone else for when Rosie is not available. I always had at least three babysitters options for my own girls if any of the others couldn't make it.”

Alastor threw a look to the two daughters of the woman, one speaking through a phone while the other revised her notes. They were both efficient and clearly respected their mother even in full adulthood in Hell. Carmilla still had no idea what was to raise a baby after death, but Alastor could respect her experience nonetheless.

“I will look into it. I could also just kill anyone who becomes too annoying for them” added casually with a little lilt.

Carmilla wasn't impressed. She put a hand on her hip.

“And wake them up from their nap?”

“Oh, I can be very fast and silent if I need to.”

She rolled her eyes.

“Hombres, su primera solución a todo siempre es matanza” She shook her head and pointed at him with a finger. “Babysitter. Make it easier on yourself, not harder. I can look for one I trust myself and send you their info later. You still at the hotel of the Morningstar kid?”

It was not hard at all for him to kill any disturbance for his child. But maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to have options and not rely only on Rosie.

“I am. I appreciate it” And he did, actually. He didn't doubt for a second that Carmilla would never let a child under her care either go through any hardship, just like Rosie, regardless of what opinion she had of their parents. More than anything because she was vaguely reminding him of his own mother as she reproached him.

“Then I will send it there. I would tell you to get a phone too in case of an emergency, but I know who I am talking to. You probably have your own ways to keep in contact. Come by if you need help with something else or have any doubts. The first kid is always a handful, especially on your own” Before he could reply to any of that, Carmilla bent over again to give Artemis a big smile as she gave them the most gentle pat to their head. “Hasta luego, preciosura. Visita a tía Carmilla cuando quieras.” She kissed the tip of two of her fingers and pressed them on their forehead. Artemis's hooves moved slightly, but otherwise didn't wake up. “Good luck, Alastor.”

Alastor nodded as the woman turned on her heels, going through another door with her daughters.

—---

The next days at the hotel were surprisingly pleasant. It turned out that they already had a fully functional radio studio in one of the towers at the side of the building. Apparently it was his own, back when he first worked there, so it was exactly as he would have liked it. Charlie was excitedly explaining it to him as she opened up the door, also covered by another illusion spell. Just like with the rest of the hotel, there was no clear or concrete memory attached to that place, but it felt familiar all the same as he stood watching the city from the window.

Asking himself why he couldn't remember it made his head hurt again, so he ignored it. He had a place from which to broadcast again, big enough to bring Artemis's cradle as he worked. Wasn't that good enough? Same as with the nursery, if he wasn't going to use it then nobody else would and that was just a waste of good equipment. Charlie was almost close to tears when he finally declared he was taking it back.

Keeping up with their word to not repeat the mistake of that first day, Charlie and Emily especially were dedicated to taking care of Artemis at every chance they could, playing with them, watching over them while taking a nap or cleaning them up when necessary. At first Alastor was always just two steps close to intervene at the slightest need, but the more days passed, the more he was starting to relax at leaving them in the same room. Always leaving his shadow behind still, of course. Both princesses didn't seem to mind at all at least. Charlie sometimes even smiled and talked to his shadow without minding the entity could not talk back.

It was officially his second week at the hotel when he was looking over some papers at the kitchen table. Notes for future broadcasts, suggestions for modifications on the hotel, application for future babysitters that Carmilla had sent over with a messenger, full with all the information he could ever want about the person he could leave his child with. From blood type, relations that could affect their availability, level of experience, education, presence of pets or not, and much more that he did read over carefully.

Artemis was laying on their back at the baby swing, gently moved by one of his tentacles. A week later, he still held onto the stupid duckie and reacted with fits of happy giggles whenever the king was around, but Alastor was already getting used to it. It wasn't like it happened all the time either. After that first encounter, it seemed that the moment they could be together alone someone urgently needed the assistance of the king somewhere else. Usually leaving him with a crying baby as a result he had to calm down. But telling the king to disappear from his child's sight because they got too happy, because Artemis loved having him around too much, was just not an option. He could never do that to his baby.

As he took a sip from his scolding coffee, Alastor took another look towards his baby and smiled as he passed the page to the next babysitter. They all had fighting training down, they could defend Artemis if necessary so that wasn't a concern. When he looked down again, however, he was surprised to see some smeared golden blood on the margin. His blood.

Oh. After having Artemis cut out from his abdomen and his own falling, a papercut did not even register on his pain levels. Still, that was just unsightly, so he left the info on the side and went to the sink to clean the surprisingly long cut across his palm. Artemis was too focused on nodding off to realize anything, but the moment their laughter started filling the space Alastor already knew he wasn't alone anymore.

“Hey, kiddo!” The king greeted, kneeling in front of the swing. From where he was, Alastor could see the little hands reaching out and making grabby motions to get at the king. “Still the same happy go lucky little rascal of always, huh? Are you giving dad any trouble? You wouldn't, would you? With a cute face like that one, I bet you are nothing but a delight at all times” The devil chuckled as he straighten up, noticing what he was doing. "Oh, fuck, is that blood?" said, moving towards him, followed by the whines of Artemis. The man stopped next to Alastor. "What happened?"

Alastor groaned.

"Nothing worth fretting over, your Majesty. Just a insignificant papercut I got for being distracted, that is all."

"Yeah, but the placement is no good. It's going to open constantly and be a pain in the ass" The king looked over to Artemis for a second. Alastor's shadow was trying to distract them dangling their duckie in front of them, but it wasn't working. "Do you want me to close it for you? It won't take not even a minute."

Alastor considered just saying no. He had the negative just at the tip of his tongue, waiting to let it out. But he had knives to hold and body parts to chop, not to mention a baby that was going to require both his hands, so it would be one less inconvenience if he didn't had to wait for his body to heal by itself.

"Fine" said, rolling his eyes. "If you tell anyone about it, I will crush your bones and feast on your blood. I will make a nice paella with both."

The monarch nodded, serious, but still not scared. Of course he wasn't going to be scared. For him, his threats probably sounded like the yapping of a puppy that could never truly hurt him. But he made known how little he liked this and that would have to be enough for now.

"Not saying a word, promise. I wouldn't dream for anyone to think the radio demon can't do something by himself" Alastor exhaled through his nose, slightly less annoyed one. At least they were on the same page now. "Just give me your hand."

"Make it quick" replied Alastor, giving it the hand to him.

The king put it on top of his own palm as he pressed around the wound with two fingers. Soon enough, the point of connection between the two of them started to glow a soft gold. The moment the skin started to heal over, Alastor straighten up as his eyes flashed with a golden light that vanished in a second.

Lucifer finished healing him in less than a minute, just like he said, leaving the hand as if nothing ever happened to it. It had only been seconds, twenty at maximun, but for Alastor it felt like a lot more time had happened.

80 years worth of time suddenly falling on top of him, filling all the empty spaces, all at once.

"There" Lucifer patted the hand. "See? I told you it wouldn't be a problem" started saying when Alastor lifted it again to cup his cheek. The devil tilted his head to a side, his brow furrowed at the change on his expression. Alastor had no idea what face he was making, but it had to be one the other haven't seen before to prompt his next question. "Uh… are you alright, buddy?"

Alastor blinked. He still had no idea. Forcing his hand to pull back, only to close it in a fist at his back, he straighten up again.

"I just remembered I need to see Charlie. Could you watch Artemis for a bit?"

"Yeah, sure. Evverything good?"

Alastor let out a single hum before dissolving into his shadow. He didn't have the ability of the king to detect any of his subject by concentrating hard enough, but he didn't need it for what he was looking for. He came out from a dark corner in the craft room, where Charlie was taking inventory of all the crafting materials. Alastor let himself become solid, contemplating her sticking her tongue out as she made sure to have the right number. His other baby. His actual first one.

"Little fawn?" called.

The clipboard of Charlie smacked against the floor. She looked at him like she had been struck by lightning, not daring to come closer or to move at all, so Alastor took the first step towards her. How could he ever not recognize her beautiful antler? How could he ever doubt from where she had that tail?

"W-what did you say, A-Al?"

"My little fawn" this time he grinned further. When Charlie finally broke out of her own spell to go crash against him, he was ready to receive her.

[myrammmortal]

Chapter 42, JK Rowling is afraid of ham

AN: omg da new book iz kumming out rlly soon I kant wait!!!1111. I fink dat snap will be really the same person as Volximort koz dey are both haff-blood so dat will explain y he kild dumblydore and he hated hairy!!!!!1111 nd den hairy wil have 2 kommit suicide so voldimort will die koz he will rilly be a horcrox!!!!!111 omg I hope draco nd harry get 2getha dat will be so shmexxy, wont it?? If dey don’t den JKR is hamophobic!!!!!111111 fangz 4 da help wiv facts, medusa u rok!!!111

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I sat depressedly in Daddy Till’s office wiv Hedwig, Satan, James, Serious, Snap and Lucian. Daddy Till was sitting in front of us cruelly. He looked more young den he did in da future. He had taken da ipod away and wuz now lizzening 2 a shitty Avril Levine song. Hedwig couldn't take it anymore and flew around the office.

“What da hell is this anyway??” he cackled meanly. I hoped he didn’t find out dat I was frum another time. Even though I had already told everyone that I was from a different time, they had children and those kids could just not keep their hands off me. I had not exactly been subtle about the time travel at all! AT ALL!!!!!

“Whatever u do don’t blame Paul Darkness Alzheimer Birdflu Landers, u jerk.” Satan said. "Nothing bad that ever happens is her fault!"

“Yah, siriusly she was trying to get Satan and Hedwig back together.” Serious said deviantly.

“Be quiet you Satanists.” Daddy Till cockled. “If ur lucky I’ll probably send u all to Akazaban!!! That will teach u to copolate in da Great Hall.” He changed the song on da ipod 2 a n’Sync song. Suddenly I noticed sumfing strong about da Ipod. It was slowly chonging! Daddy Till didn’t notece. He was too busy cockling secretly behind his desk. I knew he loves me too.

“You fucking poser.” I muttoned.

“I bet you’ve never herd of GC.” James said. Know I knew waht da iPod was chonging in2- Morti McFly’s tim machine!!!!!11

“Shut up Jomes!!!” Richard's dad shouted. Well, not dad I guess. Not yet. But he knows that

“Yeah shut up!!!!” Snake said preppily.

“No u shut up Daddy Till!!!!!!!!1111” said Tom.

“I’ve had enough of u Satanists in my school!!!!” shouted Daddy Till spuriously.

Suddenly I grabed da iPod from him. “Evry1! Jump in b4 itz 2 l8!!! I jumped in2 it. But only 1 odder person jumpd in. It was……..Satan.

“You dunderheads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111” screamed Daddy Till wisely as we went.

I looked around. I wuz in da Slitherin conmen room wiv Satan. I was wearing a blak plaid miniskirt with hot pink fishnetz, a sexy blak MCR corset and blak stiletto boots with pink pentagroms on dem. My earrings were blake Satanist sins and my raven hair was all around me to my mid-black.

“Hey kool where iz dis?” he asked in an emo voice.

“Dis is da future. Daddy Till’s iPod dat he tried to take away from me wuz really also a tim machine.” I told him.

“Kool what’s an ipatch?” he whimpered.

“It’s somefing u use 2 lizzen 2 music.” I yakked.

“OMFG kool wait whatz a 4-letter-wurd 4 dirt?” he esked in his sexah voice.

“Um I guezz sand????” I laid confuesdly.

“Yah I wuz just triinyg to make sure u were stil da same perzon.” He triumphently giggled.

Suddenly some of my friends walked in.

“OMG you’re fucking alive!” said Ginny wearing a blak leather jocket, blak baggy pants and a goffik black Frum First to Last shirt. I explained 2 her why I was alive. And why she was in the story. And why she suddenly liked me. And where she had been all this time. And that she was totally not some rando who just showed up because I had a fight with my friend again and I needed a stand in. She was made of cardboard.

“Konichiwa, bitch.” said Willow. She was wearing a blak corset showing off her boobs with lace all around it and red stipes on it. With it she waz wearing a blak leather miniskirt, big blak boots, white foundation, blak eyeliner, red eyeshadow, and blak lipstick.

“Hey, motherfucker.” Said Diabolo with his red hair. He waz wearing a black P?ATD t-shit and blak baggy pants.

“Hey whose that, Paul Darkness Alzheimer Birdflu Raven Face Landers?” Frau Schneider questioned as she walked in wearing a black t-shit with a red pentarom on it with lace at the bottom, red letther pants with blak lace, and black stolettoes.

“Oh its Satan.” I told her and she nodded knowing da truth.

Suddenly Satan started to cry.

“Are you okay Satan?” we asked concernedly.

“OMFG ur from da future!!1! What if u don’t like m anymore koz were from difrent times?????” he asked.

“No I still like you.” I said sexily to him.

“Ok.” He said ressuredly. I let him lizzen 2 Teenagers by MCR on my ipod while I was about to go outside to find out some fingz. I gave Diabolo a signal to keep Satan occupied. Satan fell asleep. Diabolo was the most boring person in the school and only there when I needed a stand in for Richard or Vampire. Much like his sister. I took the iPod. I was about to walk outside. Profesor Sinister ran in!!!!!!!1111 She was wearing a gothic blak minidress with depressing blak stripes, white and blak stripped tights, and red converse shoes. She was wearing LOTS of blak iliner.

“Oh my fucking god, where’s Richard!!!!111 How did Snap get back here!!! I tohot he wuz in Azerbaijan.” I asked sadly.

“Paul Darkness Alzheimer Omnipotentia Landers I was so worried abott u but I know you can’t fucking die because you’re a vrompire. Even though you have died like 7 times already but I guess some people just won't die. Snape came back because that girl Britney freed him. I never liked her she was a bad student. For no reason whatsoever and we just need someone to bitch at so that one person you know in your life had to do” Trevolry said reassuredly.

“That bitch!!!!!!!11 Did she also free Hargrid and Loopin?” I shouted angrily. I hated Britney because she was a fucking prep. No reason as to why whatsover

“Yes they are on the loose at this school. Daddy Till is back Cornelia is on his way to help evry1. Tell evry1 u see to lock themselves in their conman room!!!!!!” Trevolry said worriedly.

“OK. But where’s Richard???? How cum he was doing it with Snap?????”

“I dunno why but I know he almost tried 2 commit suicide after he saw u almost kill urself.” she said. "Also that wasn't Snape, that was the nice one, Flake. Snape is the evil one and he has been posing as Professor Flake all this time!"

“OMG dat’s terrible!!!!!!!!” I gasped. Satan was still asleep, so he couldn’t tell what was going on. Then I said “Lizzen evry1, I have sumthing imptent to do. in hr evry1 stay!!!!!!!!!” wiv dat I ran out.

“Good luck Yoda!!!!!!!11” everyone cried.

I ran sexily down the staris in2 da Grate Hall while da portraits around looked at me scaredly. There was hardly ne1 else in the stairs nd tere was an atmosphere of horrer. On da way I saw Britney laughing on da stairs. She was wearing a a slutty pink shirt wiv flowers on it, a blu jean skirt Abercromie and pink stiletoos. She looked jest like a pentagram of those fucking preps Hilery Duff and Lindsey Lohan.

“You fucking bitch!!!!!111” I shouted angrily.

“No, your totally a bitch. Now Voldemort will like totally kill u!” she laughed.

“Crucious!!!!!!!!!1” I shouted selectively pontificating my blak wand and she started screaming koz she was being tortured and I laughed sodistically. (pontificating is a hard word and definitely used wrong here)

“No!!!!!!1 Help me!!!!!!1 Please!!!!!!!!1” Britney screamed terrifiedly.

I put up my middle finger at her. In her hand I saw da video camera Snape and Lumpin had used to take da video of me. I put the tape of Voldimort doing it with Hedwigg onto it. Then I continued to rown down the stairs with the camera. When I had reached da Grate Hall I saw Vampire Potter. “OMG Vampira!!!!111” I yielded.

There was a magical cow in the great hall. We hugged each udder happily. He locked at me wif his gothic red eyes and spiky blak hair. Around them were blak eyeliner and iShadow, the newest product from Apple. His He wus wearing a blak leather Jackson, ledder pants, a Panik at da Disko concert shirt and his blak congress shoes. He looked mor like Joel from Good Charlote than ever. (did u hear der song da river it rox!!!1)“I wus so worried you died!” moaned Vampire.

“I know but Im a vampire lol. When I woke up I wuz back in 1980, so neway I bought Voldimort from when he was yung with me.”

“Where’s Richard?” I asked spuriously.

“Richard? You mean that fukking poser who betroyed you?” Vampir snarkled with anger in his sexy voice.

“I NO BUT WE HAV 2 FIND HIM.” I SED SMARTY.

“I’ll do it den.” Harry said angstily.

“OK.” I argreed. Suddenly……….all da lights in da room went out. And den…….da Dork Mark appeared.

“Oh my fucking satan!!!!!” Harry shouted.

“I fink Voldimort has arrivd.” I sed anxiously. “Fuck, I have to find Richard!!1 I guess we shood separate.”

“Ok.” Vampire sed diapperating. Sadly I ran into the Great Hall.  

[starchaserandsunseeker]

the marauders in Starmania

hello my dear French marauders fans ( and other but you probably not gonna know what I'm talking about)

today, may I present to you the marauders as Starmania characters !

Since almost everybody die in Starmania, I thought I would share angst with more people so I'm gonna start with the most obvious : 

Sirius as Ziggy. he literally changes his name for David Bowie, this is the most Sirius thing to do. he also wants to be a rock dancer/drummer depending the version and I think this fits very well. and is gay and work in a record shop like this man IS Sirius.

ofc with Sirius as Ziggy, we have pre-transitionned Remus as Marie-Jeanne, the waitress crazy in love with Ziggy. first of all, we are all in love with barman Remus, don’t lie to me. Marie-Jeanne is clearly depressed so that fits too. and pre-transitionned because Sirius/Ziggy is gay and doesn’t know that Remus is a man (and neither Remus) so that’s why they can’t be together

next we have Marlene as Crystal and that’s not only because she’s blond, I think that like Crystal, Marlene would absolutely love being famous and desired and controlling the life of every people who wants to be someone. and she’s blond

for more angst, Peter as Sadia, aka the traitor because... well he’s a traitor but also because “ Travesti ” fits him well, and Sadia is a very intelligent character but who really wants to impress Zéro-Janvier (the bad guy) who kinda looks like Voldemort with his racist ideas so really Sadia is Peter. he also kills Marlene with is almost canon in this fandom so he has to be Sadia.

next, obviously, Dorcas as Johnny Rockfort for my Dorlene heart. also, the slitherin skittles are definitely a part of the Black Stars. try telling me Evan and Barty wouldn’t love to be a part of this terrorist group, killing people for fun, wearing makeup and crazy outfits. you can’t. and I love a violent Dorcas. and she sees the love of her life dying and choose to die with her wich is also almost canon.

with the name of the group, Regulus would have also fit but for me, he is Zéro-Janvier. first, he is rich. second he is unhappy and wishes to be an artist, someone free. and whatever you can say, politics (and money) fits to Regulus, he is a Black after all.

James as Stella Spotlight, the old sex symbol, probably a soccer, who used to be so strong and handsome and now he’s starting to get old and marries Regulus a little for the money I'd say but because they both want freedom and there are looking for it in each other.

now I don’t know if this happens in the original Starmania but in the new version, we see Regulus and James assistants being in love with each other so I thought of Pandora and Lily. Lily being James manager and Pandora being Regulus advisor and right hand.

and finally, Mary as the Grand Gourou because we believe in a strong woman fighting for the future against a rich white man when she has everything to loose being one of the only reasonable people in this group and being very free sexually speaking

I really hope I didn’t forget anybody and for Roger-Roger, the voice of the news, I have no clues. maybe Andromeda because she watches everybody die, tells the story to Teddy but stay away from the conflict ?

hope this wasn’t too long (yes it is) and go see the new Starmania, it’s incredible !

[the19thduckpotato]

haha my tumblr year review top 5 created posts

5. All Might / Surface Pressure

4. Feral Vestige

3. Dang it, kid

2. Todoroki discovers Dad Might

1. Iunno but y'all really seemed to like this ♡

here's to even more Dad Might in 2023!

[unknowncountrygirl]

Curse Breaker’s Gambit Ch 8

Final Chapter 

The team clanked their glasses together.

“Thanks for the drinks, Murphy!” Iris smiled after taking a sip.

“I should be the one thanking you, I still can't believe we're wizard chess champions! When we set out to compete, our odds were 10.6%!” Murphy cheered.

“Shows you how far those predictions will get you.” Tulip chuckled. “Because Celine and her team have been unseated, and we're the ones with the large trophy.” She patted the five foot tall trophy that was sitting on the table. “It really is large, isn't it?” Iris laughed looking up at the large trophy.

“I wonder if it was hand sculpted or if they used a mould.” Badeea pondered as she ran her fingers over the joints of the trophy.

“Either way, it's ours! And I think we can all agree, it's all thanks to Iris.” Tulip cheered.

“Thank you Tulip, it wasn't easy to defeat her, but somehow I pulled it off and I think the only reason is because of the three of you.” Iris lifted her glass of butterbeer. “To our chess team.”

“Here's to you Iris, and those lucky enough to have you at our side.” Tulip cheered as they all raised their glasses and clanked them together again.

“Badeea outfoxed her opponents by using her imagination.” Murphy said. “Tulip proved playing from the heart is as important as playing with your head.” He looked to Iris, “and you helped me realize my dream without letting my enthusiasm get in the way of the team.”

“And just like those fickle little pieces on the chess board, we needed a leader, a Queen if you will, who understood our unique abilities well enough to turn them into strengths.” Badeea added happily, looking towards Iris.

Just as she was about to say something, the door opened, and a bunch of Hogwarts students came in, cheering loudly, Penny leading the way.

“Your Patronus said you won! I thought you guys deserved a party!” Penny smiled as she walked up and gave Iris a hug. “It's party time!”

The party was loud, everyone was happy that Hogwarts had brought home another trophy for the case and had taken it away from Beauxbatons. Murphy talked t anyone who would listen about how the team had managed to come up with a way to counter the dreaded Dragon defense, and how Iris had executed it beautifully.

Skye was currently drinking the Slitherin boys under the table with spiked butterbeer, and Iris was chatting with a few of her female friends, along with Tulip and Badeea. Murphy's eyes happened to be burning and he more then likely had bloodshot eyes to match how lousy he was feeling at the moment.

There was a lull near the fireplace, and he took the opportunity to roll himself near the fire. Murphy parked himself in the corner by the fire, and transferred from his chair to the booth, and leaned back. He had hardly slept the night before and just wanted to close his eyes for a moment.

“Sleeping during a party?” Iris asked him, and he peeped one eye open.

“Well, I didn't exactly sleep well last night.” He admitted to her as she slid in next to him. “I like your skirt.” He grinned.

“I know you do.” Iris smiled, taking a sip of her extra sweet butterbeer before pulling at the bottom of her sweater, pulling it over her head to show that she had worn the matching top underneath. “I also know you like this top too.” She winked, and Murphy could do nothing but smile like a fool. His favorite outfit, on his favorite person, in the glow of a fire... It all was just everything he could have ever imagined it would be. He was just about to lean in and try to give her a kiss when she said, “you know. I wish it would have been you.”

“What?”

“That faced Celine. It was you who had the dream of playing in the tournament, and you were such a fan of hers. I wish you could have had your moment in the spotlight, to show everyone how great you are for once.” She told him.

“Well, regardless, you took her on and you won with grace.” He told her, “and I'm proud of you for being not just my friend, but for making your name in the Wizarding chess world.”

“I wouldn't have done it without you-”

“Iris!” Murphy and Iris's attention was pulled from each other to the wizard coming their way. Archie Brewer, captain of the Slytherin team, beater, six foot five inches of muscle, and hair of a golden retriever. “You're looking good as ever.” He greeted, pulling up a chair to sit across from her and Murphy.

“Hey, Archie.” Murphy said through pursed lips. He knew that Archie had a thing for Iris, well, most people had a thing for Iris so that wasn't the only reason he didn't like the guy. It was he was charming, and handsome, and the kind of guy that all the girls swooned for.

“What's up?” Iris asked kindly.

“We're about to take this party upstairs, gonna' do spin the bottle.” Archie smiled at her.

“That's a problem, since I can't go up the stairs.” Murphy pointed out.

“I was talking to Iris, not you.” Archie explained further. Murphy felt Iris let out a long huff and sat her drink down with a clank.

“Now, Archie.” She began, and Murphy saw her sit up a little straighter and place her mug of butterbeer down. “Why would I go upstairs, and take a chance of kissing the guy I want, when's he's right here?” Archie's smile grew from ear to ear, and Murphy felt increasingly uncomfortable. “Murphy?” Iris looked over at him, leaning towards him, “you want to snog?”

His brain. Shut. Down. He knew he sat there for a second, lips flapping in shock at the blunt question, before his brain caught up with the rest of him.

“Yeah.” He nodded, wrapping his hand around the back of her neck, pulling her to him. He had heard the ballads of first kisses feeling like fireworks and the palpable energy one feels and he thought that it was all just blowing smoke.

Until he kissed Iris. He swore he saw stars.

He felt one of her hands on his chest, and then the warm fingers of the other caress his face. He tried not to get distracted by that, and focus on her soft lips. With that said, he also had to squelch any temptation to open his lips and french her straight away. So he pressed his lips against her's, alternating between light brushes of and more powerful kisses, the latter Iris seemed to enjoy a bit more.

Murphy's head spun when he felt a light brush of Iris's tongue along his lips, a non-verbal way of asking permission to take the kiss further. He weighed the response of continuing in public, or if he wanted to sneak away somewhere a little more private.

“Do you... Uh, want to-” he tried to articulate the words he was looking for but found himself just starring into Iris's blue eyes.

“Do I want to...?” She asked.

“Uh... Privacy. You want to find somewhere more private?” He finally asked.

“Well,” Iris looked around the tavern. “It looks pretty dead in here since most everyone went upstairs.” Murphy peered around and indeed, there was just a few people in the pub, none of which were looking their way.

“Well then.” He cleared his throat, “before we get back to that, does this mean... You and I are... Ya know....”

“Well I sure would like to think so.” Iris told him, running her fingers over his cheek, her nails lightly tickling his skin. “You?”

“There is nothing I would like more, my Queen.” He winked, wrapping his arms around her tightly, just enjoying being close to her.

“Just so long as you never call me that again.” She said in his ear.

“No guarantee's, afterall, chess is what finally brought us together.”

“Then it's only fair I call you the King.” She joked.

“I think it's fitting since the Queen is more powerful then the King.” He pulled back enough just to press a kiss to her forehead. She smiled, but shook her head, instead of keeping the conversation going, Iris pressed her lips against his again. They sat cuddled in the corner until Madam Rosemerta kicked them out and they had to return to Hogwarts, trophy in tow.

In Murphy's mind, he had two trophy's to show off to the world, one was meaningless metal, and the other was Iris.

His Queen.

[ghoststrawberries]

You names your bunny basil?? That's so freaking cute! gzsduhfoijogfaghsk

fjkhfgkjhg yeah! when i was trying to decide on a name it actually came down between Basil or Clover, but Basil ended up fitting him better :’)

[myrammmortal]

Chapter 32, Tom Bombadil was a mistake! His parents said so!

AN: I sed stup fflaming I no his nam iznt tom bodil dat wuz a mistak!1111 if u dnot lik de story den u kan go skrew urself!11111 U SUK!111111

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Hi.” I said flirtily. “Im Paul Landers da new student.” I shok my pale handz wif their blak noil polish wif him.

“Da name’s Tom.” he said. “But u kan call me Satan. Datz ma middle nam”

We shok hands. “Well come on we have 2 go upstairs.” Satan said. I followed him. “Hey Satan……..do u happen to be a fan of Gren Day?” (sinz mcr and evinezenz dont exist yet den) I asked.

“Oh my fuking god, how did u know?” Satan gasped. “actually I like gc a lot too.”(geddit coz gc did that song I just wanna live that’s ounded really 80s)

“omg me too!” I replied happily.

“guess what they have a concert in hogsment.” satan whispered.

“hogsment?” I asked.

“yeah that’s what they used to call it in these time before it became Hogsmeade in 2000.” he told me all sekrtivly. “and theres a really cool shop called Hot-“

‘topic!” I finshed, happy again.

He froned confusedly. “noo its called Hot Ishoo.” He smiled skrtvli again. “then in 1998 dey changd it to hot topic.” he moaned.

“ohh.” now everything was making sense for me. “so is Daddy Till your princepill?” I shouted.

“uh-huh.” he looked at his black nails. “im in slitherin’”

“OMfG SHME TOO!” I SHRIEDKED.

“u go to this skull?”(geddit cos im goffik) he asked.

“yah that’s why im here im NEW.” I SMELLED HAPPili.

Suddenly Daddy Till flew in on his broomstuck and started shredding at us angrily. “NO TALKING IN THE HALLS!” he had short blonde hair and was wearing a polo shirt from Amrikan ogle outfters. “STUPID GOFFS!”

satan rolled his eyes. “his so mean to us goffs and punks just becose we’re in slytherine and we’re not preps.”

I turned around angrily. “actually I fink mebe its becos ur da barke lord.”

“wtf?” he asked angrily.

“oh nuffin.” I said sweetly.

then suddenlyn………………. the floor opened. “OMFG NO I SCEAMED AS I FEEL DOWN. everyone looked At ME weirdly.”

“hey where r u goin?” satan asked as I fell.

I got out of the hole n it was bak in the pensive in professor trevolry’s classroom. Daddy Till wuz dere. “Daddy I think I just met u.” I said.

“oh yeah I rememba that.” Daddy Till said, trying to be all goffik.

sinister came in. “hey dis is my classroom wait wtf Paul Darkness Alzheimer Birdflu Landers what da hell r u doing?” ”um.” I looked at her.

“oh yeaH I forgot bout that.”

“wth how?” I screamed forgetting she was a teacher for a second. but shes a goff so its ok.

professor sinster looked sad. “um I was drinking voldemortserum.” she started to cry black tears of depression. Daddy Till didn’t know about them.

“hey r u crying tears of blood?” he asked curiously, tuching a tear.

“fuck off!” we both said and Daddy Till took his hand away.

professor sinster started crying again in her chair, sobbing limpid tears. “omfg Paul Darkness Omnipotential Great Mal Landers…I think im addicted to Voldemortserum.”

AN: SEE U FOKKING PREPZ GO FOK URSELXXZ DATZ SERUS ISSUZ 2O GO 2 HELL!1111112 

[the-multifan-writer]

Please

TW: Use of vulgar words and out door sex and unprotected sex and light choking

Me and Draco have been dating for about a year now, at first I thought it was a cruel joke but I slowly got to see a part of him that not even his parents got to see. Slowly I truly fell in love with him and it scared me at first me and Draco Malfoy the infamous bad boy of Hogwarts the slitherin prince what did he want with me a quiet little hufflepuff. Tomorrow is going to be our two year anniversary and I wanted to do something special for him so I’m planning a picnic for us by the lake and some swimming. I've tried to ignore him all day today to try and get everything ready and make sure the kitchen has everything I need for tomorrow. I talked to the house elves in the kitchen and asked to borrow the kitchen tomorrow to prepare and make sure everything I need is there. Today I have to just mise en place for tomorrow, once I was done I started the walk back to my dorm.

On the way back to my dorm I’m pulled into a empty room I go to scream but then I hear Draco “why have you been ignoring me all day” I look at him smile wrapping my arms around his neck “no I haven’t why have you been ignoring me” I say Draco sneers at me “don't turn it around on me after our potions class you practically ran out of there and let’s not mention how every time I walked in your direction you would walk away before I even got near you” he say I look around the classroom not knowing what to say “well what do you have to say Empriss” Draco adds “I can’t tell you” I say he looks down at me and tighten his hand “well I have ways of making you talk” he say snaking a hand into my skirt and rubbing small circle on my panty covered clit I whimper and try to close my legs “no no keep them open, now why where you ignoring me all day” Draco says adding pressure I moan and close my eyes “I-I wasn’t Dray” I whimper out. Draco moves my pantys to the side and plunges a finger in my pussy I throw my head back and moan, I feel Draco kissing my exposed neck and throat “so Empriss is there anything you have to say” Draco says still kissing my neck I shake my head no unable to talk from the pleasure “use your words slut” he spits out at me I whimper “no I ha-a-ve no-o-thing to saay” I say tightening around is finger feeling my orgasm creeping up. He pulls his fingers out and says “no ugh ugh only good girls get to cum not lying little whores” he says I whimper and frown “If you tell me the truth ill have you seeing stars you know I will” Draco says sucking on my neck leaving a small mark “but there’s nothing to say “well then I guess where done here” Draco says and pushes his finger in my mouth for me to suck clean which I do “see you tomorrow love” he says and leaves. I stand against the wall a bit longer and then go to my dorm very horny and wet.

The next day I woke up early and bake the spindles chicken that he loves to buy when going to Hogmades with some rice and some minny mutton pies, for dessert I made Dracos green apple pie, minny apple jam doughnuts, and some chocolate eclairs after everything was done and cooked I packed it all up and thanked the house elves. I set up the picnic area under a three that was near the lake, I spread the blanket and put up some candles and then sent an owl to Draco to meet me at the broom shed. I wait for him there with a scarf to to cover his eyes, when he gets there we talk for a bit “hey baby” Draco says kissing me lightly on the lips “hey babe come with me” I say covering his eyes with the scarf “what are you doing” he says reaching out “its a surprise just here take my hand” I say I carefully walk him to the picnic area, I stand behind and uncover his eyes “surprise” I say moving to stand in front of him “aww baby this is so sweet did you do this yourself” Draco ask I smile and nod “yup I made all of your favorite foods and desserts” I say and go to sit patting the spot next to me. We sit under the shade and feed each other, when we got to the dessert Draco goes to feed me an apple jam doughnut and squirts some of the feeling right next to my mouth I squeal and pull back “DRACO” I yell he laugh and pulls me closer “here I got it” he says and licks my cheek and gently sucks on my lower lip I let out a small groan and go and kiss him it starts out slow and then Draco punches me down onto the blanket and we get into a heated make out he snakes his hand under my shirt and rubs my breast through my braw and pinching my nipple through the bra I moan giving him acces to snake his tounge in and we fight for dominance Draco of course won we continued making until I pulled away “come on lets go swiming, I brought swim wear for us” I say and push him off “fucking tease” Draco says kissing my neck I give him his trunks and push him towards a tree nod grab my bikini and change behind another tree when he comes out I hear him yell “Empriss why am I wearing this stupid hufflepuff colors” I come out in my slytherin and he stops in his tracks looking me up and down I smile shyly and twirl for him “you look…. amazing looking like a real Empriss” Draco says making a pun with me name I blush and grab his hand and lead him to the water.

As were swimming and laughing Draco pull me towards him and kissed me, I kissed him back and thing got heated quickly I wrapped my legs around him and opened my mouth to let him explore my mouth with his tounge I grind down on him and pull on his hair gently. Draco pulls my hair roughly exposing my neck to him, he kisses and sucks my neck leaving hikeys on his wake. I scratch down his back and he goes to untie my bikini top and pinches my left breast wile he sucks and gently bites my right nipple I moan and throw my head, I sneak one of my hands down to his swim trunks and start a slow up and down rhythm on his dick he moans and switches to my left breast I move my hand faster and Draco groans louder “lets take this to dry land” I whisper in his ear and unwrap myself swiming toward the land. When we get to the blanket Draco lays me down and starts kissing down my body leaving hikeys on his trail down to my pussy when he reaches my panties he slowly pulls them off and bites my hip bone hard enough to draw blood and leave a mark, I wine and let out a small groan “look you such a slut just laying naked out in the open what if some one flies by” Draco says slowly gliding his fingers in between my folds I buck my hips and let out a whine “look at you your completely soaked could probably take my whole hand like the little whore you are” he says slowly entering one finger “lets see how many this pussy can take” Draco says placing a second finger. I moan and buck my hips “Draco” I whine out “use your words whore” he says I whimper and say “more I want more” Draco smirks and places a third finger I let out a small whimper from the painful stretch Draco rubs slow circles on my clit and moves his finger creating this wonderful painful pleasures to irrupt in my body and I buck my hips and grow my head back “lets see if you can handle a fourth finger, my eyes go wide and I shake my head “what was that i don't understand head movements come on use your voice like a big girl” Draco says I whimper but say “no please just fuck me dumb please” he smirks down at me and takes off his trunks and start pumping his dick “is this what you want” he ask taking his fingers out of me I whimper from the empty feeling and say “yes please fuck me” “then work for it slut” Draco says. I go on my knees and start to kitten lick the head of his dick I spit on my hand and start to pump his dick while taking the head in my mouth Draco moans and grabs the back of my head, I take him deeper and breath through my nose and relax my throat to take him deeper but Draco as other plans and thrust down my throat I gag form the sudden intrusion Draco groans and we make eye contact as I look up at him tears start to form in my eyes he start a steady rhythm in and out “look at you so pretty with your mouth full of cock, i wonder what your little hufflepuff friends would say if they saw you on your knees and a fat cock down your throat” Draco says wrapping a hand around my throat to feel his dick I moan and work in tightening and loosening my throat to get Draco to cum faster. Draco pulls his dick out and slaps my face with it “open your mouth” he says and I do sticking my tounge out and he jacks off in front of me until he cums all over my face making sure it mostly lands in my mouth, I sallow his cum and open my mouth showing him “good whore look at you cum all over face and the rest was sallowed by you, you look beautiful with a cum covered face” Draco says rubbing the cum in I smile and pucker my lips for a kiss Draco leans down and kisses me deeply “do you believe you earned the right to be fucked by me” he says I nod “yes I’ve been a good girl I deserve your cock please Draco” I say kissing is neck.

Draco smiles down at me and pushes me down on the blanket and spreads my legs, and slowly pushes is dick inside me I moan as I fell very inch of him enter me I throw my head back and moan loudly I buck my hips and he brings a hand down to do small circles on my clit Draco grunts as I tighten around him, he kisses down my jaw and suck once he reaches that one perfect spot under my jaw leaving a hikey behind. “Come on Draco give it to me fuck me so hard that I can’t walk tomorrow, that for the next week all I feel is the lul pleasure of your dick” I whisper in his ear and gently bite it “that what you really want for me to fuck you like a little whore and bruise your body so perfectly all you think about is how my dick stretches you out so good” Draco says stoping all movement I let out a small whine from the lack of movement and nod unable to form words, Draco grabs my face and make me look up at him “use your words slut I dont understand head movements” he says and lets go of my face lightly smacking my cheek “yes please Draco please fuck me” I say. Draco pulls out of me causing me to whine from the the emptiness, he turns me around so I’m on my hands and knees and pushes pressure on back so that my ass is higher in the air and he smacks me hard and I moan he grabs my hips and thrust into me fast and harshly causing his balls to slap against my clit. I moan from al the stimulation and lay my head on a pillow that was nearby and close my eyes from the pleasure and push myself back on him “look at you, you little whore pushing yourself into me making sure you get all of my dick” Draco says bringing a hand around my neck and pulling me up towards him so my back meets his chest. Draco pumps into me harder causing my head to fall back into his shoulder and he takes advantage kissing and bitting my neck and shoulder marking me. I feel the knot in my stomach start to form and I grind onto him harder “please let me cum Draco please let me cum like the little dirty slut I am please I’ve been so good” I beg bring a hand down to draw circles on my clit “well look at you begging like a whore” he says lightly kissing me “go on cum on my dick” he whispers. I throw my head back and moan loudly coming around is dick and Draco speeds up and I feel him shoot himself in me making me cum a second time.

Draco slowly pulls of me and I whine from the light pain it causes “how you feeling angel” he say lightly kissing my forehead I smile and nod “yea” I say and cuddle up against him, Draco wraps is arms around me and says “we should head to my dorm its getting late and cold” I smile and pull out my wand saying a spell to put clothe on the both of us and he caries me to his dorm. Once he sits me down on his bed he gives me a kiss and whe he pulls away he shows me a box, I smile and take it “wat this baby” I say “your present open it up” he says pushing it closer to me when i open the box I see the most beautiful necklace ever I feel tears well in my eyes “Draco this is to expensive I can’t take it” I say about to close the box, he stops me and says “no i got it for its fine its a Graff Vivid Yellow diamond for your house of hufflepuff and a Aurora Green diamond for my house slytherin I got it for you know turn around” I do as he says and he puts the necklace on I turn back to him and smile as I look at it “its perfect Draco just like you” I say kissing him.

You guys really liked the mauruders three some so here some Draco for y’all

[siriusfan13]

@granny-griffin tagged me in the game. Here is my curren WIP described as boring as I can.

-Questionable teacher-to-be makes friends.

Tagging @haptronym @krisingtons and @slitherin-away for this!

@cornflowerbluewrites tagged me in this wip game but the post was really long so I’m making my own

don’t have a current fandom wip so i’m going for my most recently finished story

a guy takes a really long nap

tagging @o-lei-o-lai-o-lord @siriusfan13 @firefletch and anybody else who wants to play!

[the19thduckpotato]

fandom proved Todoroki right?  c:

HUGE THANKS to @birdantlers @purplecarseat and @slitherin-away !!!  i love your art and you so much!!

[knight-already]

I'm pushing this narrative for the rest of my life! He knew tge y were planning to seriously hurt him as they were so close to killing him that last time! So in a bout of desperation he call he a mud blood bec use she is always at harm when with him.

Cause another narrative I push is that Severus needed the other slitherin s the death eaters because they were the only one who would stand up against Gryffindor. But again while they may help him keep his abusers away Lily was still in harm's way.

If he didn't have the help, Lily would jump on and most likely get hurt.

I'm no scenario did she not get hurt tho so Severus couldn't win. Poor baby.

Did anyone notice that snape only calls lily a mudblood after James said "Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you" I just think snape took it as a real threat to her and push her away to not get by hurt by helping/defending him, what do you think?

OH MY FUCKING GOD

ANON YOU JUST UNLOCKED A PART OF MY BRAIN I NEVER KNEW WAS THERE, HOLY SHIT WHY HASN’T ANYONE THOUGHT OF THIS? *applauds in jaw-dropping theory*

[krisingtons]

I am a sucker for fics where AM travels back and sees Izuku when he is young, and AM is just choked up and in awe over his tiny successor (especially if something tragic like Izuku dying made AM travel back) and Izuku is either like HOLY DNDKDBEKSLS All Might?!!! Or like uhhhh who is this skinny man hugging me and why do I want to hug him back? Either way, it brings feels.

I am personally not usually a fan of the time travel trope simply because there's almost always way too much angst involved for me, but there are two fics that your ask reminds me of!

Laughter in a Time of War by @slitherin-away

Tangency by @birdantlers

[tessieravenclaw]

Hogsmede

Ravenclaw Love (George Weasley x reader series) ©️ [Part 4]

Pairing: George Weasley x reader

Age: It’s your second year and George’s fourth year in Hogwarts.

Plot: The chamber of secrets has been opened.

Warnings: nothing actually, kisses on cheek- if that counts.

Note: I do not own the harry potter books of course, so the plot isn’t mine; also, there’s no fluff yet. But the series is really sweet.

General full forms:

Y/n- your name

L/n- your last name

Y/n/n- your nickname

Y/s - Your sister

Check out:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

This is part 4

🧡🧡🧡

Dear Y/n Hey sis, what's up? I got a note from Madam Pomfrey, about you being back from petrified. I thought about meeting you in your dorm, but then hufflepuffs aren't allowed. Your friend George Weasley (that boy is so concerned about you, sis. Anything I should know, huh?) said he'll bring you to hogsmede today, where I can meet you. Although I'm a prefect and do not allow you to enter underage, I want to meet you desperately. See you there then. Love you, Y/s

'Padma!' You said, 'Can you believe it? George met my sister. Oh God, how will she react??' You shook her awake. It was Saturday, and 7:00 AM.

'Mate,' she said dreamily. 'I know you're excited for your date-'

'It's not date!'

'- but let me sleep. Shoo.'

Is it a date?

You kept asking yourself that question. A few day ago, you'd returned from being petrified for one month. Padma Patil helped you catch up, and George Weasley, your crush and friend, asked you if you'd like to come to hogsmede.

He told you the reason is that he wants you and your sister to meet, since she's in a different house, a different age, and a prefect. So you both could meet in hogsmede. Plus, he always wanted someone underage to go to hogsmede with the help of the mauderers map. But a part of you kept thinking that what if he was asking for a date? You were both friends, not dating, and he had no clue that you liked him anymore than a friend.

You put your thoughts aside and got ready for the big day. George asked you to come down by 7:30, and so you did.

'Woah,' he yawned. 'G'morning.'

'Good morning,' you punched him in the arm, 'wake up, kid.'

'Mind you, I'm two years older than you.'

'Whatever,' you said, rolling you eyes. 'Let's go?'

He nodded. You followed him to a secret passage. Within a few minutes, you reached hogsmede. 'Wow,' you said.

He smiled. 'Your sister wanted to meet you here. She's a much better prefect than percy.'

'Hmm,'

'Oh, uh... here she is.' He stammered. 'I-I'll see you...in some...sometime. bye...' and went away.

You had a little chat with your sister she hugged you and told you how much she missed you. You shared your experience in being petrified. She told you about George, how he kept coming to visit you, and smirked.

'Come on, he's just a friend!'

'Oh yeah? I'll see. Anyway, continue you illegal date.'

'Y/s! First, this is not a date. Second, we're nit buying anything, so it's not illegal. And third, we're nothing but just friends.....yet.'

She laughed '"yet" eh? Okay, He'll be waiting, gotta go. And I'm there for you, if you ever want any ad-'

'Yep, bye!'

George came shortly after she went. 'Where were you?' You asked.

'No, nowhere.' He said, shyly. 'Wanna go to our future shop?'

'The one you and Fred would open in your 7th year?'

'Not exactly, we'll open a branch here, and Lee would be incharge.'

You followed him to the shop it was rusty and old 'A good place to re-decorate.' Yoy murmured

'Sure, miss creative.'

You both explored the village. Then you went to a shop, loveydove.

'You sure nobody would see us?'

'The teachers? No. The students? Who cares?'

You both sat on a table. You saw cho Chang, a third year ravenclaw with Cedric Diggory. They were holding hands. Then William, a ravenclaw boy, with Shallend, a Slitherin girl, locking lips. Many other couples were there, kissing and hugging.

'Why are they - in public - ew.' You blurted out.

'Ew?' He stayed silence for a while 'Nevemind. People usually come here for dates, so they don't look around, that why I brought you here.'

You looked at him. His ginger hair was brushed messily. His amber eyes, with a little green, twinkled. This lips... you realized you were starting him like an idiot. 'Er...I-'

'I mean,' he said again 'I brought you here so that people don't concentrate on us.'

'Hmm.' You looked around. 'I can see that.'

He giggled. His teeth looked so fresh, you wondered that if you ever kiss him...

'Well, what do you want?' He asked

'Oh, nothing'

Another awkward silence.

'So,' you thought of something to talk about 'When did you first come here?'

'Last year,'

'Really? I thought you liked breaking rules.'

'I do. So does Fred. But that was before we got to know about the school completely. Of course, we did break rules before that, but you know-'

'You know what?' You interrupted him. 'I, um, wanted to ask you something.'

'What?' He asked, expressionless.

You took a deep breath, and then told him something you didn't dare to think of before. 'I got a letter. I think it's by Lurenda. That 3rd year ravenclaw. She-' you shook you head. You didn't want to ruin his mood. 'No, nevermind.'

'You're hiding something.' George said. As if.

'Of course I am,' you blurted out 'I mean, when have we even talked? Except in the library.'

His grin became wider. 'Exactly! Remember I told you in the Library that I'll teach you quidditch? What about we start from tomorrow?'

'I don't really have a broom, you know.'

'Oh, that no problem. Use mine, it'll suit you well.'

'What will you use?'

'My broom, of course.'

That left you confused, but you nodded. 'Cool,'

You both talked. It was basically George asking questions, then you rambling for a long time. Then you asking a question George rambling for a long time. And so on. That was until you spotted a professor. You pulled George behind a chair.

'What?' He said

'George Weasley!' You whispered urgently. 'Don't you see professor sprout?'

'Oh,'

He somehow, got you back to hogwarts, without being spotted.

'That was great,'

He smiled 'Thanks, (y/n/n).'

'So. Can you lead me to my common room? I don't exactly remember the way.'

He smiled more 'Sure!' And tapped the mauderers map 'mischief managed.' he looked sad for a second.

'What happened?' You asked.

'It's that...I always said that with Fred. We're getting apart as we grow older. And it...it's...it's...'

'It's okay, George' you said. 'I'm reading this book about twins. It's kind-of like your situation. I think you should read it too.'

'Very much...' he said. 'not.'

You grinned. Got on your tip toes, and kissed him of his chin. You wanted to reach the cheek, but he was so tall.

'Chin?' He asked, chuckling

'If you weren't so tall.' You said, staring at his height, and then yours.

'Call me kid and this happens, little girl.'

You spent the next 15 minutes chasing him at least he stopped you and you stopped right in front of him. You realised after sometime, that you were hugging him. He patted on your shoulder and smiled, like always. 'Here's the common room, good luck answering the question.' He picked up your wand which hand fallen down. 'And do come for quidditch practice. See you at 6'

'AM?' you asked, knowing the answer

'Course not, PM' he said, knowing you'd expect him. He bent down kissed you on your forehead. Two kisses, one day. For the first time.

'Thanks,' you blurted out.

'What? Wh-'

'No, no. I said it... accidentally.' You struggled to change the topic. 'Are you done with whatever-nrw-thing you were making that day?'

'What day?'

'The day, you know, I came to your dorm.' You were blushing. It's not normal for a girl to go to a boys dorm as "friends".

'Oh. Oh yeah, I am.'

'You are?'

'Very much.'

'So can you show me?'

Not at all, wait for sometime. I'll gift it to you.'

'Hmm? Okay, so I'll, um, go now. It's late-'

'Yeah, bye.'

You wanted to kiss him again- on the cheek of course. But you thought it would be too much affection.

'Bye,' you said. love you. You thought.

🧡🧡🧡

This is way longer than the last one. I do hope you enjoy reading! Make sure to follow if you liked my posts, it means a lot!

thank you!

Tess