#slight character bashing
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Volume 9 spoilers again
Damn it, the Cat isn't a good person / character... I liked them, too...
Alyx was also a terrible person, at least according to Jaune.
Why the fuck is Louis cute though???? Is it the style or... ????
A PUNDERSTORM. SERIOUSLY. WHAT.
I like that the portal like things had "reflections" of that characters' memories; ie Rusted Knight saw Jaune, Weiss saw Atlas falling.
You know what's more important than the immortal Grimm witch heading to Vacuo with 2 / 4 relics to end the world, the displacement of an entire kingdom among other things?
BLAKE AND YANG CONFESSING FEELINGS
Seriously. What the fuck. Priorities.
"I like that you aren't intimidated by me."
Okay that's BS because:
- Blake has been shown to visibly shrink back whenever she even THINKS Yang is angry
- Congrats, that's like. The bare fucking minimum of a relationship
- How can Blake not be scared when Yang reminds her so much of Adam. You know, her abusive ex boyfriend (at least he was retconned to be).
That whole thing was honestly so forced. Literally. They were forced to confess. And that left a bad taste in my mouth about the whole thing. They could not leave or whatever until they confessed and shit.
Also Jaune saying he was waiting for that (Bumblebee kiss) is creepy on its own because he barely knows them. But add in the fact that as the Rusted Knight, he's easily A LOT older than either girl and... Yikes m'dude.
Over all, not a fan of this volume. Curious Cat, Herbalist and Louis are my favorite characters as of now.
#rwde#volume 9#what the fuuuuck#rwby critical#i hate it here#slight character bashing#anti bumbleby#ew. just. ew.
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Check my new short fic: (angsty SeverLily not smut)
Your interaction here on thumblr or on AO3 is highly appreciated.
#harry potter fanfiction#severus snape#lily evans potter#baby harry potter#fanfiction ao3#Albus Dumbledore#slight character bashing#snily fanfictions#pro severus snape#snape#snapedom#pro snape
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throws fankids at you and runs
#blossick#boomubbles#butchercup#powerpuff girls#powerpuff oc#my art#i’ve always loved designing these but im always embarrassed to post them lol#they’re not super thought through or anything i was just doing whatever felt right#they are all named though . in my brain#ideally there’d be slight variation in their hair colors#bc i headcanon the boys to have a small difference in hair color from the girls#but i tend to avoid inserting that into my first time drawing a character design#uhhhh specific stuff i wanted to get in here#i feel like brick would pass his cap onto one of his kids just randomly#and i really wanted the boomubbles daughter to have pointy gravity defying pigtails#and the eldest green baby’s hair is based off of mandy a little#anyway. idk what else to write here#rate and subscribe thanks for watching#Bloom Utonium#Blaze Utonium#Blue Jojo#Buttons Jojo#Bopper Jojo#Bash Utonium-Jojo#Buster Utonium-Jojo#Breaker Utonium-Jojo#Bruiser Utonium-Jojo#Bug Utonium-Jojo
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@unofficial-deathnotetober 2023 Day 8: Minor Character
I still hate that bratty kid from L's Monster Speech clip. Linda does, too.
#it's late I'm sorry#but I had to do something#unofficial deathnotetober#2023#minor character#drawn by me#my fancomic#Death Note#Death Note: Re:light#Wammy's House#Linda#Monster Speech Kid (Terry)#L#tw: language#slight character bashing (not that it's not deserved in my opinion lol)
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I'm already regretting asking but I just came across you Sad Dreamling Headcanon™ and you hinted in your first post about it at more thoughts and feelings on it, would you like to spill them ? *braces herself*
Sorry for the unreasonably late response 😅 life got away from me but I’m finally back on my angst bullshit!
A fair few of my thoughts about these posts boil down to incoherent internal sobbing, laughing, and screaming.
Once we get past that, however, my mind turns towards the inevitable question: what happens next?
Obvious comic spoilers (and a warning that I haven't finished the comics, nor do I have easy access to the ending so any mistakes are... now part of the AU because I said so)
----
Daniel takes on the mantle of Dream of the Endless. He's not sure he ever had a choice; he's not sure he would've said no even if he did. Morpheus had prepared him for the ascension, his memories behind a thin gossamer veil, both his and not his. Nothing, however, could've prepared him for this.
The first pang had felt like what he assumed a heart attack would feel like: a vice grip around the heart he didn't have. But it was his first moment of consciousness in his new body and the pain was overshadowed by the overwhelming onslaught of memories and knowledge that flooded his brain, a tidal wave of Dream of the Endless. The pain fell by the wayside, minuscule in comparison.
By the time he had gotten used to the crushing weight in his mind, he had gotten so busy that he didn't have time to pay attention to his physical body. He wasn't even totally sure he had a physical body anymore. His inherited realm was in ruins, invaded and destroyed by the Kindly Ones, left to rot. One by one, he restored his precious dreams and nightmares, beings that he had intimate memory of lovingly created, despite never having touched them before. His skin was new; his subconscious was not.
There was one part of the Dreaming, however, that refused to heal. It was a void, a dark stain in the very fabric of his realm. It relocated so often that he didn't even notice it at first; indeed, it took far too long for the moving black hole to catch his attention. It took even longer for him to realize it was expanding. Not enough to be spotted immediately, just enough to be concerning.
He doesn't investigate it alone. He might've inherited his mind from Morpheus, but his common sense came from forces beyond even his predecessor. Lyta Hall hadn’t given birth to a fool.
He takes Matthew with him. Matthew had become an invaluable ally in his painfully short journey of ascension and they make their way, together, towards the black hole, watching as it writhes and twists in the air, unnatural and revolting. When Matthew cannot make heads or tails of the strange void, Daniel calls for Merv. He stomps up, a cigarette clamped between his pumpkin lips, and promptly declares ignorance, every other word an expletive that Daniel, had he been mortal, had he been human, would not have heard for another two decades.
It is Lucienne who approaches, hesitantly, almost apologetically.
“My Lord,” she hedges, “your siblings are at the gates, requesting an audience.”
Daniel has never had siblings before. Now he has six. He suddenly finds himself nervous, in ways that he’s not sire he could ever articulate, if pressed. He’s suddenly intimately aware of his own youth.
“Dream,” Desire greets when the gates open, oddly solemn. Perhaps not oddly. Their brother has just died. Their brother is standing before them. It is a solemn affair. Death and Despair, too, are grim-faced. This, too, is not odd. Daniel knows this.
“Do not call me that,” he says, though he knows not why. Dream is who he is. Dream of the Endless. No one else can possess the mantle. Morpheus has no claim to it anymore. “My name is Daniel.”
“Daniel,” Death greets, and it sends a wave of warmth through him. He had not realized that Dream of the Endless played favorites so heavily among his own family.
“Death. Desire. Despair.”
He greets each of them in turn. Daniel will not play favorites. Clean slate.
“Daniel,” Desire starts, then stops. Daniel has never known Desire to have shame or reluctance. “I have no doubt that you have noticed.”
Daniel tilts his head. He says nothing. Morpheus had bestowed upon him a healthy respect for the impact of silence.
“The remnants,” Desire continues. “Of Morpheus’… desire.”
“The void.” Daniel confirms. “It is growing. It is… my desire?”
“It is the desire of Dream of the Endless,” Desire says. “Passed down from Morpheus to you, an unlucky hand of cards.”
Daniel wants to close the gates, suddenly. He does not want to hear any more ways in which his predecessor failed. His realm of ruins has been enough.
“Daniel,” Death says. “It will continue to grow. It’s not a desire you can get rid of. It’s inherited love for a man you will never meet.”
“Hob Gadling.”
Daniel does not miss the way Death flinches at the name.
“Hob is dead,” Despair speaks up for the first time. “The love that Morpheus had for him lives on. It has nowhere to go. It will consume you and your entire realm. Morpheus started a cycle that no one can stop. Dream of the Endless will cease, doused by Endless Devotion.”
Silence descends. It is a peculiar silence, only possible in the Dreaming; a complete stillness, a bated breath, an enduring flatline, moments or hours before a restarted heartbeat.
“Morpheus spelled my doom.” Daniel says. It is not a question.
“I am here to offer my hand,” Death replies. “My gift. You need not suffer under what Morpheus has wrought.”
“And if I do? If Despair spoke truly, my death will achieve nothing,” Daniel says. “An endless cycle.” It is difficult not to place emphasis on his newly-received family name. If his siblings are to be believed, he will not wear it for long. “If Despair spoke truly, my successor will suffer the same fate, and their successor beyond. Dream of the Endless will cease.”
There are no answers; the Endless siblings have none to give.
“Thank you, my siblings,” Daniel says at last. “I must return to my realm. Morpheus has left me with many pressing issues, his devouring love notwithstanding. I must attend to as many of my duties as I can before passing on my helm.”
True to his word, Daniel continues his function, restoring his realm to its former glory, shining and resplendent, steadfastly fighting against the ever-growing darkness that ravages every corner of the Dreaming it brushes against. Daniel can feel it, in the hollow space behind his ribs, an expanding mass of anguish; the love of a dead man for a dead man.
Time works differently in the Dreaming. It could have been decades, centuries, millennia. In the end, it doesn’t matter. Daniel is dying. The Dreaming is dying. Darkness presses against the throne room door, the last standing fragment of his beloved realm. His subjects huddle together, scared, their gazes drawn again and again to the stone door, cracking and splintering against the weight.
Daniel knows what he must do. His death will ensure the continuation of the Dreaming, if only for a short while. There is power in youth, power enough to stave off such overwhelming grief. His successor will have power Daniel only had upon first ascending. Power to keep the Dreaming alive. Power Daniel no longer has. It is time.
“Death,” Daniel says. “I am ready.”
#sandman netflix#the sandman#dream of the endless#hob gadling#morpheus#dreamling#daniel hall#daniel-centric#idk if this is any good honestly#slight Morpheus bashing?#it’s not really his fault#what happens when you inherit love for someone you never met?#it has nowhere to go#it consumes you#this is honestly just 2am rambling for me so… here#I’m sorry lmao#major character death#angst#my writing#thanks for the ask!
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matters of the heart — Nanami K.
summary: finding out your ex-boyfriend wrote a novel detailing your relationship isn’t how you expected this week to go and to make matters worse everyone on the internet now thinks your “character” is a total bitch. you decide to pay your ex a visit, but can you do that without succumbing to your natural urges? well, no!
tags: 18+(MDNI/blank blogs) slight porn with plot, oral (f! receiving), brief nipple sucking, daddy kink, creampie, i guess nanami is a bit toxic in this lol, nanami might also be a bit ooc in here
to the moaners: has this been sitting in the draft for about 3-4 months? yes! but happy birthday month, kento 😚. artwork by @/_3aem (twt); @ryomens-vixen (this was the fic I mentioned a while back) word count: 5.6k (yuck), I don't really like this
I’m going to kill him, that was the only thing on your mind once you closed out of the novel. Normally, your weekends were spent relaxing with a fruity bubble-gum colored cocktail but today was different. Shoko called your phone at exactly 9:26 am claiming it was time she divulged some news to you. At exactly 9: 28am, she sent you an online copy of a book titled, “Matters of the Heart” and told you it was nothing but a two or three hour read and then to call once you finished.
The book had a slow start and it seemed pretty average, just any old love story. Lately, anything was getting published and it seemed that was the case here — wait, you paused your reading and sat up straight. No. Just no. Something just clicked for you which led you to completely start over from page one.
The moment you finished, at exactly 1:01 pm, you grabbed a salmon colored low cut shirt and light washed jeans, slipped on your white shoes and hurried to get into your car. You didn’t need to call her phone because you were going to talk to her face to face; this situation warranted a real conversation. It was nothing but a 17 minute drive to Shoko’s house, so when you arrived at exactly 1:18 pm, her door was already open. “They’re bashing me, Shoko. Fucking bashing! How could he do this to me?” Were the first words that flew out of your mouth, holding your phone close to her face so that she could see the reviews.
“Well, it’s not like anyone would know it’s you.” She yawned, handing you a cup of water – probably because of how crazy you looked – before she ushered you to a seat on the couch. A golden brown blanket was lazily thrown on the seat, which she hurried to move. You sat down and faced her with a look of what Shoko could only describe as pure sadness. She had seen you like this many times before, all because of one person.
“You did.” You sniffled with an eye roll, you couldn’t help but feel uncertain. Reading this book only brought back more uncomfortable feelings towards the breakup and him. You thought that you were over him and the memories that the book produced made you question everything. One question remained which is: Why?
She giggled drily. “Hey, I read all his works. Pseudonym or not. He can’t hide from me. Plus, I know you both and everything that went on. I was there too, remember?” She mumbled the last part. “Maybe this was his way of coping?”
“It’s been years… and I heard he’s announced a sequel. Shoko, a SEQUEL! It’ll be released later this year.” You spoke in a shaking watery voice while she rubbed your back in an attempt of comfort. Your mind could only think of what the reactions would be to your character in the sequel… insecurities that you never knew were there flooded your mind.
“There was enough material for a sequel? I thought he covered everything…” Shoko rubbed her chin and looked deep in thought. You just stared at her, she couldn’t be serious. “Sorry, ignore me.” She shook her head ignoring your stare.
“Do I even confront him over this? A-and how would that make me look, like I still check on him right? I’ll look crazy and bitter… which apparently I am. Oh and I’m bitchy and a ‘total cunt’ as they’re putting online.” He didn’t know just how much you changed, he missed your growth. Rubbing your eyes, you ask:“Why did you tell me about this? What made you take so long… I just don’t understand.”
“Well, at first… I didn’t think you’d care.” Moving a strand of her nut-brown hair out of her face, she continued. “Then about a month ago, I decided it was right to tell you, just in case someone else pieced it together.”
“Gojo read it then, huh?” You mentally cringed at the thought. It was the only person you could think of who’d be so crude about it. He knew how damaging the breakup was for you but not as bad as Shoko knows. Now, you’re just grateful that she told you before he did.
“Yep, so I figured that I had to tell you before he did.” She clicked her tongue. “But let’s just calm down before you make any rash decisions on how to handle this.”
“He wrote a fucking duality series about me, our relationship, our sex life and you want me to calm down? Are you listening to yourself? This is a serious matter. I am being called a bitch, a slut and more on Goodreads and multiple websites, reviews, etc. and he didn’t even have the audacity to give me a heads up. You had to call me.” You let out an unladylike snort.“Why couldn’t he stick to his mystery novels? Wasn’t he doing good at those?”
“Writer's block.” Shoko said in a singsong-like voice. “He hadn’t written a mystery book since you two broke up and then… he alerted his supporters he wanted to switch things up and then… that was that. Ladies loved it, a big hit. By the way, if you two were really fucking like that I need to se—”
“Shoko, now is not the time!” Your face felt hot all over, your mind racing. “I just can’t believe this.” You wrapped your arms around your body and squeezed, giving yourself one big squeeze. It was hard not to cry but you could feel it all in your throat.
“I’m sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think his intentions were to make you feel bad.” She hugged you to her chest, pressing a small kiss to the crown of your head. “I think he still loves you. I mean, isn’t this book proof? After all these years, he wrote about you.”
“I’m sure he moved on by now.” You whispered, your eyes growing tired already and the day had barely started. “I just need to lay down. I need to rest.” Your mind seemed to finally grow calm and your breathing steady, a small hiccup now in your throat but with a gulp of water, you were better.
“Just stay here. I don’t trust you to be alone right now.” Shoko’s voice drowned out as sleep overtook you, you could only feel her warmth as she held you and honestly it was all you needed at this moment, Shoko always made you feel safe and you couldn’t thank her more than enough for that right now as you slept.
You were a light sleeper, it was always something that Nanami pointed out about you. He always said how he felt like he couldn’t leave the room while you slept even if it was to use the bathroom afraid to wake you. He knew how important sleep was to you and he’d risk having a bladder infection if you got all 8 hours that you required. Nanami was sweet and caring like that.
You didn’t think you’d break up with him ever. He was the one for you and he always made that clear. He pampered you and even after the breakup – though you didn’t need it – he left you with a check for five thousand dollars, saying it was for his half of the lease for the next few months.
The breakup was brutal for you. You almost quit working entirely. Shoko was the only person you’d confined into and the only friend you left to check in on you especially when you didn’t want to leave the house. She brought you groceries and helped you shower until you finally were able to get up again.
Though it was hard to believe, it was Nanami who broke up with you. You thought it was a joke, a cliche little joke.
“Baby, I’m not joking.” His voice was quiet and husky, he spoke as if he was going to cry. “I just need some time to myself. I need to figure out if this is what I want. You don’t have to wait for me, you just keep on living your life and being happy. But… I think it’s time we let this go.”
You didn’t cry in front of him. You didn’t cry when he packed his things up. You certainly didn’t cry when he shut the door, leaving his key on the table because you knew he was joking. He had to be. But when you called him and his number was disconnected and you were blocked on any form of social media… that was when you broke down and cried.
It happened out of nowhere. You overanalyzed every aspect of your relationship for where you went wrong. You wrote down every conversation you could remember and dissected it word by word. You watched every video and picture you had of the two of you looking for a bit of regret or anything on his face. You read every text message, looking for malice. He said he needed time to figure out if he wanted this but he always made it clear that he did and even that he was looking forward to having kids together, you two had even gone ring shopping months ago.
You didn’t sleep and when you did, it was only for 4 hours and sometimes barely that. Your heart had an ache in it and the tears wouldn’t stop. You could only think why wasn’t I enough?
When you opened your eyes Shoko was still holding you and a small smile grew on your lips. “Thank you Shoko.” You knew if you could count on anyone, it was always going to be her. She was the one who pieced you back together and made sure that life didn’t destroy you and you couldn’t help but to be grateful.
“Of course. ‘M going to let you spend the night here, okay? Let’s get some takeout and watch your favorite movies, how’s that sound?” She knew the way to your aching heart like the back of her hand.
“It sounds amazing!” You stretched your arms out wide, leaning off of her and sitting up. “Should we start with Uptown Girls or Legally Blonde?”
It took two days before you confronted him. Shoko was adamant about not giving you his address and you were tempted to get it from her phone. But luckily, you wore her down, she was probably tired of you bringing him or his book in every conversation. So now you stood there, nerves washing over you in waves.
The mahogany colored door stared at you – mocked you – and you returned the glare before you knocked on it, hard. This was just a door and you were angry at the person behind said door, not the door itself.
It was almost like he was waiting on you because the door unlocked and opened. He even stepped aside to let you in, quiet. His straw-colored hair was parted differently and he even looked taller or broader – you couldn’t completely tell – but he looked different… seemed different. The atmosphere around him made your stomach clench and it made you mad; why did it feel like only you suffered from the breakup? Here he was – strong and tall – and you were nothing or rather the same.
“You wrote a romance erotica novel about our relationship?” It was what you practiced saying before you got out of your car – making sure your voice didn’t tremble – this time, it didn’t.
“Well, hello to you too. Even after three and a half years, you still like to get straight to the point.” He grinned, putting a hand on your back to guide you to a seat on his couch. “I must ask, what makes you think it’s about you?” He does a slight laugh and raises his brow.
“We have the same initials, almost the same name. Are you kidding me?” You retort, folding your arms across your chest. You tried to ignore the fuzzy feeling in your chest that occurred when you heard his voice after so long, hearing him and seeing that damned smile… your nose scrunched up.
“Sorry, I just didn’t know you kept up with me… with my books…” He muttered, glancing your way, a demure look in his amber eyes. “Should I be flattered?” Almost in an instant, he turned on a slight cockiness to himself, though his body language showed his nervousness – his thigh bouncing a bit and his fingers tapping on the couch handle. A light sense of relief filled your system knowing that you weren’t the only one being affected by this.
“I don’t.” You inhaled deeply. “Shoko told me about it and then, I checked it out.” Fiddling with your fingers and even picking at your nails, that was your tell all sign of nervousness and right now you were engaging in it more than ever before.
“I wanted to tell you or rather, to ask you. I know you got the voicemails I sent last year…and then you kept dodging my calls.” He tells you, you could feel his eyes on you – or more so your fingers… the nasty habit that he had finally got you to stop all those years ago rushing right back in an instant.
“Writing a book to trash me and our relationship… to make you look like some sort of… ugh, like you’re so amazing and I’m just shit. Yeah, that certainly got my attention.” If you were coming off bitchy or rude right there, you couldn’t care less especially when there were worse things that you could’ve said or even could’ve done at this moment. You really wanted to slap him.
“Is that all you got out of it?” He asks with his head low, almost as if he was admitting defeat or as if he couldn’t believe you came up with something so trivial.
“Was there anything else to get?” You counter, shifting your body towards him. Maybe it was best that you sat down and actually listened to the author and his interpretations of his work.
“How about that I love you regardless of any flaws… how about I find your stubbornness and attitude sexy and how I knew this breakup would be good for you. I was holding you back. I mean, I heard you got promoted 3 times since we broke up… I just felt like I was changing you, hindering your growth. I needed to reflect on myself and this book helped that.” He tapped his fingers against his thigh, yet another sign of his anxiousness. “Believe it or not, I still care about you. No matter what happened between us.”
“What happened? You mean when you decided to just leave? You could've told me everything you just told me and I would’ve understood better. We could’ve talked and came to a compromise. You don’t understand what you put me through after it.” You were close to tears but you straighten your posture and sniffled, it was best not to think about what happened before. “I just needed a bit of closure too, I guess that’s why I came. I just was caught off guard. You could’ve knocked on my door or something, forced me to answer… forced me to talk.”
He met your eye for the first time since you came over. “You wouldn’t have listened,” He huffs. “Didn’t I mention how stubborn you are? Plus, I meant what I said. I needed time to myself and I think we both did.”
“I guess…But Nanami, this book was too much. A letter would’ve been fine if you needed closure, don’t you think?” You see his lips quirk up a bit before he licks them, trying not to laugh it seems.
“My publisher got a hold of some of the documents where I was just going over things, writing here and there. She loved the idea… plus I’m in a contract for six books so I had to put something out soon, it had already been a year.” He told you, sitting his chin on top of his knuckles. “I honestly didn't mean to hurt you. I was writing for fun… reminiscing about us and then later down the line, I realized I was writing because I wanted you to read it, I just didn’t exactly know how to get you to since you were very adamant on avoiding me, which is understandable. But regardless, I didn’t think it’d get on the bestseller list or for the reviews to get so harsh.” He admits, reaching for your hand before his hand froze in midair and he stopped himself, choosing instead to put it behind his head.
“Is there anyway you can stop the sequel from being published then… since you got my attention after all this time?” You asked, putting your most dazzling smile on, hoping to sway him.
“I can talk to my publisher. Everything’s in print and materials are already done… but I’ll try to see if I can stop production.” His adam’s apple bobbles when he does a harsh swallow. “Are we… okay? Do you forgive me?”
The question made you pause. He always made it hard for you to not forgive him; it took one look or a smile and a small explanation and it made it easy to fall in love with him all over again, no matter what he did… it seems. But it made you ask yourself: Were you too easy? Did you really forgive him? It was thoughts like that swirling around the corners of your mind. You wanted to forgive him, he was just writing and telling a story… but it was your story, not just his. Using this for your attention when he could’ve written about anything else, he didn’t have to. Were you just ready to forgive him because you still loved him?
You hadn’t realized how deep in thought you were until you felt the couch dip and even then, your mind was still spirling.“You don’t have to…” His voice brings you out of your thoughts, his body so close to yours that it was getting hard to breathe. He still smelled the same; citrus and woodsy and it was easy to get yourself sucked back in.
“So you can write another book about my stubbornness?” You give a quiet giggle, scooting a bit away from him, seeing him frown from the corner of your eyes. You didn’t want to fall back but he made it all so simple. It was easy and you were already falling back on him and you didn’t need that… Did you?
“Baby…” Your body buzzed and hummed, turning to him with wide eyes. “I’ll do anything I can to make this right. Anything for you to forgive me… If they can’t stop publication, what can I do to make us right?” He was doing more than a gaze, he was full on staring and from how close he was it was hard to avoid.
“Nanami I–” You stopped yourself. You couldn’t really think of anything he could do but you could think of several unhealthy things you could do to ruin your progress on going over him. He had betrayed you and made you a laughing stock so why are you stuck thinking about forgiveness when you should be leaving.
“I never stopped loving you.” His fingers traced up and down your pants but his eyes stayed on yours. “I never thought about anyone but you… I never slept with anyone… it’s always been you. But, I understand what I put you through and I’ll apologize every second until you forgive me…” The blond man who you never saw shed a tear looked more than close to it. “But just please… forgive me.”
“I’m sorry, honest.” He tries again after being met with absolute silence. “Just… let me show you, okay?” His breath tickles your face for a second and when you look into his cocoa brown eyes, you feel everything you once felt again.
Memories of good times dulls out the odd feelings in the pit of your stomach – the confusion and pain – instead are replaced with joy. The trip to Malaysia where he rubbed sunscreen on your entire body and laid back to read a book and you watched as his eyes kept drifting to you while you played in the cerulean water; how you kept begging him to come in until he complied and how eventually in the early hours of the morning when you wanted another dip, he fucked you twice — once in the golden lush sand and another in the cool ocean water.
His face is in your thighs and you couldn’t help but feel better, feeling his breath fanning so close to your pants covered pussy, your body felt scorching hot. He’s grumbling, “Will you let me make it up to you? Will you let me show you how sorry I am?”
You must’ve nodded because he was already unbuttoning your pants and helping you lay back, pulling your shirt up just a bit to see your perky tits – he must’ve remembered how you never wore bras unless you felt it was necessary, which was mainly work or any important events.
He blew a bit on your hardening nipples before he took one into his mouth – playing biting them with a smug look on his face before he began licking around your areolas and kissing around the swells of your breast. He doesn’t say anything but he looks deep in thought as he kisses down your body, his fingers scraping down your sides as he works your pants and your panties all the way down. Bringing his head up for a minute, he looks in your face. “I love you.” He says it simply, heavy emotions swirling in his brown eyes.
Removing your pants and underwear completely from your body, he spreads your thighs and looks over your body – a trimmed low pretty bush sits between your thighs and it makes him smile, he always loved seeing the curled hair on your delicate lower lips. He spreads your pussy, watching the skin stretch with a deep smile on his face. You could feel yourself … the wetness leaking down under your body and it made you cringe, but the way he was staring at you made the insecurities vanish. “All this for me?” He takes a tentative lick before he slurps, clutching your hips. “I know you like to run… but I need you to stay put, got it?” It was hard for you to listen to him, your head already fuzzy and the thoughts swirling around were only about him, nothing more.
Then your body bucks up, “Wait–!” A broken moan escapes your mouth when he presses a soft wet kiss to your clit. Nanami had always been gentle and very careful whenever he ate you out; making sure his tongue was wet enough and that he wasn’t too rough. His tongue was wide enough to make your back arch, your body leaving the couch when it finally hit your clit and he gave you no time to recover before he peeled back the hood, sitting the tip of his tongue there and rapidly flicked at the bud.
Hearing the lewd squelching noises coming from the mixture of your cunt and his mouth made you close your eyes, squeezing them shut tightly. He spits before he licks it up and down your aching slit, nudging his tongue inside only slightly, much to your dismay. You’re gasping every second when more of his tongue slips in and out of your pussy; sliding a bit more each time and it makes your thighs shake. When he finally slips his entire tongue inside of you, curling it just enough that you can feel it everywhere, your legs attempt to close up around his head. “Please– ‘m so… soo–oh…” His fingers join in on the fun and in small sloppy circles he rubs your clit, pressing down on the pearl while his tongue continues flicking inside of you. The split second that you open your eyes, his are already on yours and it was that moment, that made your body tense up and for you to cum.
It happens fast, clear sticky wetness leaks out of you and Nanami still tries to get more of it on his tongue, catching anything that drips and sucking on your folds. “Always so fucking good…” He mutters, spreading you again and smearing more of your slick on his face by shaking his head between your thighs, so that he’s completely covered in you.
When he moves his head, embarrassment comes over you, looking at his wet face… even his forehead was wet and you couldn’t bring yourself to meet his eyes. “Nothing to be embarrassed about, baby but… I’ll be right back, stay wet for me.”
Your heart hammers against your chest, lying there on this now wet couch. You didn’t come over here for this and yet here you are… about to get fucked and really, it was no turning back now. You’d been on dates with men after Nanami but they never lasted past the second date and you certainly hadn’t had sex in a while, but he made you come apart like it was nothing.
But then again, Nanami knew your body… so of course this was a walk in the park for him. It honestly annoyed you right now, you couldn’t even make yourself cum half the time especially these last few years and now, barely an hour here and he has you right where he wanted you… bare and practically back in love with him.
Nanami came back with a fresh face and unbuttoned pants that he was currently pulling down. You clenched around nothing, your mind thinking only of the perfect dick that was going to be coming out of those pants. You licked your lips, this would be the first dick you saw in years and it was his.
His drooling cock slapped his stomach and you swallowed, your mouth felt unreasonably dry. The length of his cock always impressed you, standing tall at seven and a half inches, he shakes with laughter which snaps you out of your daze. “Now let me look at you.” His whispers and even though he already saw you, both years ago and right now, you can’t help but feel hot all over again. He’s staring – drawing his eyes down every inch of your body – focusing on your breast before getting to the stare of the show yet again. He smirks, laying you back down, pressing his body against yours to kiss you.
Your breath was caught in your throat, his tongue still tasted of you and his hands cups your jaw. He’s gentle, his tongue moving around your mouth messily before he stops, saliva breaking apart when he does so. His fingers make a ghostly featherlight touch on your clit that makes you jump, the head of his cock at your entrance. He holds out his hand, close to your mouth. “Spit.” Gathering up some, you spit in the palm of his hand and stroke it along his length, huffing at the sensation.
He pushes in, taking his time to work himself inside of you, a strained expression on his face. Hips pulled back, he focuses more on just the tip of himself fucking you, watching your pussy stretch with just the tiniest bit of resistance. Inching himself inside, you watch his torso flex and he groans, obscene noises plop and plap around the apartment, his heavy cock pushing in and out of you, your toes curling.
“Pussy still mines, right? Didn’t give it away, did you?” You’re struggling to talk - to fucking breathe - your eyes rolling back and your jaw slacked but you babble out a soft ‘no’ which makes him finally thrust in you harder, completely bottoming out. You feel him in your belly, feeling full and embarrassingly wide with him stretching you out, his balls sitting on the crest of your ass before he moves.
He moves you a bit, your bodies flush to each other and he moves his hips in harsh circles, his pelvis so close to your clit. His hands on your calves, he pushes your legs so that they rest on his shoulders, your knees touching your ears makes you tighten up and he groans above you.
“Nanami I-” You call out, eyes closed with pleasure shaking through your core, wetness slapping between the both of you.
“Nanami? No, call me what you used to call me.” His hips slowed down, a whine escaping your lips. His cock dragging inside of your walls, pulling out slowly, awaiting your response.
“Please…don’t slow down, Ken—” before the word even left your lips, his hand slapped your cunt, leaving your legs shaking a bit and your eyes snapping open. Drops of tears run down your cheeks and you sniffle, reaching for him… you couldn’t help but feel so small in his presence.
“Say it.” Then, you knew what he meant. A name that now feels foreign in your brain and even when it leaves your mouth, it comes out in a strange rattled whimper.
“Oh, oh… daddy, ‘m sorry. Please, keep fucking me. It’s so goooood!” He’s grinning before the words leave your mouth.
“Still my good girl huh? Always so fucking good for daddy.” He licks up your neck and it makes you tremble, your tongue lolling out a bit and he moves to suckle on it. “Did you skip over all those sex scenes or did you rub this pussy out to them?” He asks, his fingers digging in the back of your thighs.
You choked out, sobbing, “I did, daddy… But I-I don’t want to remember everything.”
“You don’t remember all the words I used to describe this cunt? This pretty pussy? That changed his life… my life? That made him always crawl back? That made him so fucking hard? The pretty words I used to describe you? To describe how pretty she always looked when he fucked her? How his heart felt like it was going to explode when she looked at him too long because he loved her so damn much?” He’s groaning in your ear, thrusting into you, his depth reaching your g-spot, your pussy spasming and begging for his cum at every word he uttered.
Pumping himself inside, you could see the white creaminess that was on his cock, most likely because of you, he was constantly fucking the cream inside of you, your nails digged into his arms and he moaned at the feeling. Your stomach tightens and you move to push him away, “I’m going to c–cum!” You felt him throbbing inside of you, signaling that he was close too. “Please, cum inside of me… I can’t take it.” You couldn’t stand it any longer, it’s been years and you needed him to fill you up. He stopped for a moment, changing positions so that you’ll be sitting on his lap, grabbing your hips and forcibly bouncing you on his dick, dangerously slow.
Wetness gushes on him as his tip hits you from a new angle, seeing the outline of him in your tummy, he’s stretching you again with each nasty thrust. Each drag of his cock making you go crazy and the aching between your legs continue, your body shaking and both of you moaning loudly and over each other.
Finally, your orgasm rattled and shook your entire body, your pussy sucking him in, milking him for all he’s worth and it makes his body shake and he releases inside of you, trying to stay quiet as his body jerks up, unable to stop himself from fucking you through both of your orgasms.
It’s quiet for a while, just heavy breathing with you laying on his chest. “I love you too…” Your voice is scratchy and your face tear stained. He doesn’t say anything, his cock still pulsing inside of you.
“I know. I love you too, never stopped.”
“Did you at least read the acknowledgements or did you just dive right in?”
“I never read the acknowledgements for books, thought you would’ve remembered that.” You watch him get up, walking around the living room, looking for something. You were both still naked and the entire room smelled of sex.
“I did remember that and when you barged in my door, I already knew that you still hadn’t changed when it came to that. Here, read this part right here.” He brings you over a copy and you run your fingers around the softback cover with a small smile on your face; this silly thing had brought you both back together and right now you could give less than a fuck about those reviews.
Feeling the spine of the book, you open it and can practically smell the scent of an unopened new book. Turning the first few pages, you go to the one page acknowledgment and read it aloud: “She might not read this book. But if she does, by chance. I hope she knows that I still love her.” You wiped your eyes and smiled. “You’re an asshole, you know?”
He lets out a hearty laugh, “I know baby.” Kissing the top of your head, he gets up and grabs his phone from the kitchen counter and you follow him. “I think I have enough material to write a third book now.” He grabs his phone and starts typing, his eyebrows furrowed as if he was deep in thought. Attempting to grab his phone he chuckles and uses his height to his advantage by standing taller.
Standing on the tips of your toes you snort, “Don’t even joke about that!” But a smile takes over your face and he can’t help but smile too.
#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk#nanami drabbles#nanami kento#jjk nanami#jujutsu nanami#nanami x reader#nanami smut#jujutsu kaisen nanami#kento#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento x y/n#nanami kento x you#nanami kento smut#kento nanami x reader#kento nanami x you#kento nanami x y/n#kento nanami#kento x reader#kento smut#kento x y/n#kento x you#Kento nanami#jjk x y/n#jjk x reader smut
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“IS THIS WHAT YOU EXPECTED?”
pairing: ryomen sukuna × f!reader
summary: yuji itadori had been your crush for a while now. to try and get closer to him despite your bashful nature — you asked him to a movie night at your place. but nothing goes as planned when sukuna takes possession of him and makes you a deal to help you get closer to your friend…
warnings: +18, smut, nsfw, possessive! sukuna, dirty talk, degradation (slut, brat), dub con, dom! sukuna, sub! reader, fingering (f! receiving), sex (p in v), yuji is an aged up character, swearing, fanart found on pinterest if you know the artist let me know pls.
wc: 2, 946
“Oops…” murmurs Yuji as you come down the stairs of your house with a small stack of DVDs in hand.
The bowl of popcorn that you filled just five minutes ago for your movie night is now empty, and you blink as you approach the kitchen counter. “Yuji…” You snort and go to fetch another bag of popcorn from one of the cupboards to refill the bowl.
The sound of popcorn kernels clattering fills the room, and Yuji has a slight pout on his lips. He takes a few hesitant steps toward you and seeks your gaze. Still new to the romantic feelings you had for him, his unusual closeness catches you off guard, and you slowly back up to the counter in measured steps. You force a natural smile, and your heart races at the sight of your friend, whose eyes show disappointment.
“It’s nothing, Yuji. I usually have a lot of popcorn,” you try to reassure him. “But you have quite an appetite for such a fit teenager.” You swallow thick.
Yuji lets out a nervous laugh, seemingly more at ease than a few seconds ago, “You think so?”
Your eyes drift down to his body, eyeing his exposed forearms (he had kept his sorcerer uniform on despite your recommendation to get comfortable), and the defined muscles do not escape your notice: for a teenager his age, Yuji Itadori was very fit.
“Yeah... Pretty much…” Your eyes linger for a moment longer before you look back up at the pink-haired boy whose face you dream of covering with kisses.
Dressed in your pajama shorts and a simple t-shirt, it’s hard to stay perfectly calm, especially when your crush is less than two meters away from you.
Yuji steps forward nonchalantly, hands in his pockets, and steals a piece of popcorn which he skillfully tosses into his mouth. “So, what are we going to watch?”
“I was thinking about some thriller movies or something like that. I’m not too fond of horror movies,” you admit with a shy smile.
“Oh yeah? Why? Are you afraid you won’t sleep at night after that?” Yuji teases you. You nod toward the small stack of DVDs, and he takes the liberty of looking through your selection. “Scream’s pretty good,” he comments, picking it up to examine it with a ‘professional’ eye. Yuji’s brown eyes land on you, and you feel an uncomfortable warmth rise in your neck. “The DVD is new. Have you seen it before?” he asks with a surprisingly gentle, almost… concerned and indulgent tone.
You shake your head.
“I won’t spoil it, but I really liked it,” Yuji sets the other DVDs aside and shows you the one for ‘Scream.’ “Is that okay with you?”
You nod faintly, and a slit appears on Yuji’s cheek. It opens, revealing two sharp canines that are easily recognizable from spending so much time with your friend.
“Damn it, you two are really embarrassing to watch.” A voice escapes from the slit — the mouth that acts as an intermediary with Ryomen Sukuna.
“Hey! Go back to sleep!” exclaims Yuji, almost slapping himself, which makes you wince.
A hysterical laugh echoes, and black marks now streak your friend’s face. The laughter and the slit disappear, making way for Ryomen Sukuna. He stretches his arms up, flexing smoothly. “Ahhh!”
You try to back away but have forgotten you’re leaning against the kitchen counter. Now you’re stuck with the King of Curses…
“D-Don’t come any closer…” you whisper in a trembling voice, eyes wide with terror.
Another hysterical laugh escapes Sukuna’s lips. His eyes — so different from those of your lover — examine you from head to toe, and one eyebrow arches. “What was his type again? Tall girls with big asses?”
You blush at his mocking tone and don’t dare say a word. Even your breathing seems to have become labored, as if the oxygen had thickened in just a few seconds.
A sneer never leaves Sukuna’s lips as he approaches you with an overwhelming air of confidence. When he reaches you, he narrows his eyes and looks you up and down a second time. “So this is the kid you want to flirt with?” His voice is dripping with arrogance…
You swallow hard and don’t dare to respond, your throat tight and your wide eyes fixed on the tattoos of the King of Curses.
“Come on, rabbit, cat got your tongue?” Sukuna snickers.
You shake your head, and a rough whisper escapes your dry throat, “N-No…”
“Oh really? Because the atmosphere a minute ago was so cringeworthy! You two looked like a couple of idiots fresh out of their mother’s womb, ugh!” Sukuna leans in provocatively, his hot breath brushing your cheek and stealing your own.
“What do you want from me?” you murmur reluctantly, pulling your head back slowly to find some breathable air.
“Nothing, just to avoid hearing your terribly awkward conversation any longer,” Sukuna replies, shrugging.
“It wasn’t awkward, you made it seem that way. Give Yuji back his body,” you dare to retort. Your heart pounds faster and harder in your chest, loud enough for Sukuna to hear.
“Nah, I don’t feel like it. I don’t want to deal with the stifling aura of a hormonal teenager again.” Sukuna rolls his eyes and tilts his head to the side. “Do you like this brat?”
You squint without answering.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” he raises a playful eyebrow. “How about we make a deal?”
“No,” you reply immediately.
“What an ingrate! I grant you my tolerance and you dare refuse a deal I give you?” he retorts with a much less sympathetic aura. His hands leave his pockets to rest on either side of the counter, effectively trapping you with him. “I don’t recall asking you a question.”
And his voice immediately makes you regret your words. Being trapped at home with Ryomen Sukuna was not something you could let slide, much less making a deal with him. “No, actually— I—”
“Hush.”
Sukuna’s hands slide from the counter to your hips, gripping them firmly, making you startle in place. His lips descend to your neck, leaving a line of soft kisses, causing a slight shiver. His eyes notice the goosebumps on your skin and his lips curl. “Is this what you expected?” His whisper reverberates like a shockwave through your entire body.
“I— You— No,” you manage to reply almost in a gasp.
“Here’s my proposition then. I help you get closer to the brat on one condition.” A manic smile lights up Sukuna’s face, and your heart now tries to escape your chest.
“What?” you let out almost in a whimper when he presses his lower body against yours.
“Let me use you.”
Your breath immediately reacts to the panic that overwhelms you. No way. You’ll end up dead in that case.
“No, that’s out of the question—” You try to finally slip out of his embrace, but your strength doesn’t match Sukuna’s. He applies more pressure on your hips and plants a kiss on your trapezius muscle. "Just for tonight. Nothing bad will happen to you…” His insistent tone is like a flirtatious purr.
The sensation of Yuji’s lips and much more on you and the idea of being closer makes the blood rush to your head, so how can you refuse such a tempting offer? But the awareness that he’s using Yuji’s body cools your thoughts.
“No, I can’t— It’s disrespectful to Yu—”
“Are you his owner to know what respect means? Do you think I’m unaware of his adolescent thoughts imagining you with him?” Sukuna’s hands move up to your waist, his nails digging into your back, eliciting a whine from you. “The number of times he’d dreamt of hearing you moan like that?”
If your face could get any redder at this point, the blood might as well explode from your body at any moment.
Your features twist in irritation and anger at what he said next. “If I let myself get fucked by someone like you, I’m sure I won’t come out of it alive!”
A chuckle is your only response. “I’ll try to go easy then. But no promises.” Then he grabs you by the hips to lift you onto the counter and roughly spreads your legs. He slips between them and captures your lips in a rough and hungry kiss. Your breath leaves your lips as he swallows it, not giving you a moment to respond to his taunt. You respond against your will, your lips devouring each other and teeth clashing.
Sukuna sinks his teeth into your lower lip, making you suck in a sharp breath. His wet tongue soothes your aching flesh and moves down your throat to lick a strip of bare skin. The tension and weight of his movement make you shiver, and you hastily take the initiative to remove your shirt, revealing your chest encased in a bra. It rises and falls with your breathing, radiating a heat full of desire.
Sukuna lets out an appreciative whistle that makes you blush. “Do I still need to take control?” he teases with a smirk. “Or is this the behavior of a slut?”
The label makes your heart tremble, and your hands quickly find Sukuna’s neck to bring his addictive lips back to yours. He immediately returns your kiss and plays for a few seconds with the strap of your bra before finding his way to the clasp and undoing it. The bra falls to the floor, and Sukuna’s hands find the curves of your breasts. A whimper escapes your lips, and you close your eyes for a second to savor the new sensation.
A growl is blown from him after breaking away from your lips to snake a path to your collarbone, which he wastes no time in nibbling on. A small jolt shakes your belly, and you tilt your chin up to give him more access to your body. You almost desperately try to remain silent, but it’s difficult when Sukuna’s mouth suckles on a nipple anything but gently. The pressure makes you moan and grimace in pleasure.
“Sukuna—”
“Fuck…” he curses under his breath, moving to your other nipple. He gently nibbles on the hardened, sensitive bud while his other hand keeps the other nipple occupied, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger. You hum and place your hands on your thighs to keep them from trembling — in vain. “The kid wasn’t wrong,” Sukuna murmurs. He wraps his arms around your waist and swiftly carries you to the couch. Your back sinks into the soft cushions as Sukuna’s skilled fingers find the hem of your shorts and remove them completely, with no regard for your embarrassment. His legs straddle the armrest of the couch, and he brutally spreads your thighs, remaining still, his eyes fixed on the large wet spot at the center of your panties. “Who was talking about respect for whom, again?” A dark, mocking smile questions you.
A tremor runs through your muscles, and you prepare to close your legs, but Sukuna anticipates the movement. He places his hands on the inside of your plush thighs to keep them wide open. “Is the dirty slut afraid?” He chuckles before sliding a finger along the side of your underwear, teasing and toying with your swollen core. “So wet f’me…” Your eyes take in the sight of Sukuna’s face: dilated pupils, slightly parted mouth, and almost ragged breathing. He’s practically drooling at the sight of your clothed intimate area.
Blood pounds in your temples when he easily removes your panties, leaving you naked beneath him. His forefinger and middle finger hover over your wet, dripping entrance. “Already worked up by a few kisses…” he comments, and you can only look at him pathetically.
“Sukuna, please…” you whimper as the sensation of his two fingers gliding from your sensitive, throbbing bundle of nerves to your wet folds makes you want to moan even more.
“Please what?” he repeats, focused on your entrance that tightens and closes around nothing. “Already begging?” He bursts into a fit of laughter. “I can’t wait to fill you with my dick…”
“Need you,” you whine with a pout and pleading eyes. And God, he wants to take you rough and fast at that moment.
“Again.” He looks up at you. “Beg for it.” His brown eyes burn with desire — a desire so intense, it could destroy if he didn’t play it patiently.
“Please… Sukuna… I—” But you’re cut off by a yelp from your throat as Sukuna’s fingers plunge hard into you, and he hisses to contain himself.
You’re incredibly tight. Your gummy walls cling to his fingers as if afraid they might escape.
“Fuck… You’re so wet…” He growls, moving his fingers in and out, making you tighten even more. Uncontrolled moans escape from you, resonating in the room.
“Sukuna… hgnn— so good…” you moan pathetically, squirming under him like a trapped mouse in his snare. His pace doesn’t change, going in and out of you, reaching that spot deep inside you each time he goes deeper.
“That’s it… Moan my name,” he murmurs, accelerating his pace. You convulse on the couch and grip the edges of the seats as if your life depended on it.
And reaching the depths of your pussy, Sukuna grins and bursts into laughter at your body’s reaction. You almost scream his name, and your walls swallow his fingers. They curl deep inside your womb, and your trembling legs and ragged breath testify to your state approaching the edge of ecstasy. “Sukuna— Please… so close...”
“That’s it… Cum on my fingers… I want to see you fall apart in front of me…” he whispers in a husky voice. The speed of his fingers thrusting into you increases, hitting that spot that makes your toes curl and almost scream his name.
“Cumming…!” you pant as your back arches and your walls spasm around his thick fingers. You squirt and sob his name pitifully.
Sukuna curls his lips into a sadistic smile and gradually slows the pace of his fingers inside you. He eventually withdraws them completely, admiring the shiny slickness coating his forefinger and middle finger.
“Hmm…” he hums, bringing his fingers to his mouth to taste you. He growls in satisfaction and wastes no time removing his pants and underwear, leaving you barely a moment to take in the sight of his throbbing bulge finally being freed.
If you had bet on Yuji’s length size, you could have won much more money than you thought.
It was just like in your dreams, large, thick, aching, and slightly veiny. Your lips part, and you don’t take your eyes off its reddened, sensitive tip. Sukuna grips his length in his hand and brings it to your needy pussy. The tip meets your swollen clit and taps it.
Sukuna’s lenght twitches slightly in his hand, eager to fill you. The aching tip glides along your folds, spreading them to stop and position itself at your entrance.
“Uh… Can we go—” But you’re cut off. You scream in surprise as his thick member fills your hole in one go, reaching the bottom with almost no difficulty — except for your tightness revealing a side of Sukuna you never thought you’d see: him, teeth and jaw clenched, holding back everything except a low growl and dozens of curses to convey how good you feel wrapped around him. His member splits you in a delicious embrace. Eyes closed, he starts a slow in-and-out motion, forcing you to sob his name in pleasure.
But the only downside was that you weren’t quite used to him yet, your body writhing to try to slow the pace. His hips buck against yours more and more quickly. With each thrust, he hits your gummy spot, making you tighten around him and moan his name, the sound of which is like music to his ears.
Another growl escapes Sukuna as he buries his head in the crook of your neck, nibbling your shoulder. “Take it… Take it…” he keeps murmuring between loud breaths.
“F-Fuck… It’s too much…” you gasp, gripping his shoulders with your hands. Your nails dig into the flesh of his shoulders, and every time his slams into you hit your g-spot, it’s like you’re about to cum any moment, fucking both your cunt and your brains out mercilessly.
“Take it, slut,” he growls in your ear, his lenght twitching in you, ready to fill you with every pound he makes. “I’m gonna fill you up… Fill you until you scream you can’t take it anymore…”
His hips relentlessly roll against you, and Sukuna revels in the cries of pleasure you express. A knot forms in the pit of your stomach, on the verge of exploding. One final pound inside you and it bursts as you reach your climax around him, fucking you even through your orgasm. Your chest rises and falls at such a rapid pace it feels like you’re emerging from a near-drowning experience.
Your waning orgasm is quickly followed by Sukuna’s. “Sh-Shit… Fuuuuck…” he growls in your ear, his hands gripping your hips tightly. Without warning, his orgasm take over him and he finishes inside you with his hot, thick load into your tight hole.
Now, only rough groans and sighs are heard in the room. You let your head fall back onto one of the sofa seats and close your eyes, exhausted. Sukuna slowly withdraws from you and lies down by your side, one hand still around your hip in a possessive embrace.
“You know, brat, if you’re not Yuji’s type, at least you’re mine. Just sayin’.”
a/n: this fic wasn’t planned MWAHAHAHA! i’m sorry tho 😭 it’s been 3 weeks or more than i’m promising to post my fashion designer! suguru fic and i didn’t finish it. i’ve got problems to solve and it’s making me more stressful than i thought 🫠 hope you enjoyed anyway (it’s my first smut tbh)
#[azra masterlist]#[dividers by @/saradika]#jujutsu kaisen#ryomen sukuna#sukuna ryomen#jjk#ryomen sukuna × reader#ryomen sukuna fanfiction#sukuna fanfiction#ryomen sukuna smut#ryomen sukuna × you#sukuna × reader#ryomen x reader#ryomen sukuna imagines#sukuna ryomen x reader#sukuna ryomen fanfiction#sukuna ryomen x you#sukuna ryomen smut#jjk x reader#jjk fanfiction#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen fanfiction#jujutsu kaisen × reader#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#sukuna smut
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Exception
Dark!Geto Suguru x reader
5.8k wc
Synopsis: You never bothered with Suguru's crush on you, knowing it would fade. After meeting him again years later, you make the horrible discovery that his feelings for you have only festered.
(Warnings: yandere, dark content, murder of a side character, slight gore, violence, rape/noncon, vaginal fingering, piv sex, unsafe sex)
When you were in your first year of college, you got a part-time job at a nearby cafe.
It was easy work. Make coffee. Bake some pastries. Attend to the customers. Nothing too unmanageable. It was an insignificant part of your life.
Then, Gojo and Geto came along.
Insufferably annoying. Especially, the loud one. They always caused a havoc in the cafe, often to the point where the manager had to physically kick them out. It was a turbulent two weeks, until one day you promised them if they kept it down, you'd let them try a few of your experimental pastries.
Really, it was your own damn fault. They started coming every day after that, mostly to bother you. The only reason management hadn't outright banned them was probably because Gojo made 50% of their entire revenue.
You warmed up to them eventually. Your fake smiles turned into more amused ones because of their antics. Once or twice, they'd get a good laugh out of you. You've heard rumors of a private, religious highschool nearby. You always assumed they were a byproduct of that.
Eventually, Gojo becomes Satoru. Geto becomes Suguru. Nice kids, if not a bit overzealous. Despite refusing to hang out with them after work, you had to admit, you grew a bit attached to them. You found yourself asking about their day, hiding sweets for the two of them, sometimes you'd even let them steal a croissant or two.
You bet the reason they hung around you was because, to them, you were some cool college student. Secretly, you found it a little flattering. Some days, their friendship was the highlight of your shift. It's clear Satoru is always the instigator, always looking like he's about to bounce off the walls (you have told him to lay off the sugar), it's not like Suguru was any better. He tried to act like he was the more refined part of the friendship. He often fails, at least in your eyes.
It becomes pretty apparent that Suguru had a crush on you. You're not sure when exactly you started to notice the bashful looks, the slight flush on his cheeks whenever you accidentally brush his hand, the fact that he visits far more often (even though Satoru has the sweet-tooth) but you can't unsee it now. It doesn't help that Satoru looks downright giddy whenever his friend talks to you, barely controlling his giggles in the background. His reaction and Suguru's irritation often start a few skirmishes right outside the cafe doors. You've told them multiple times to take their fights in the alley at least. They never listened.
For his sake, you don't acknowledge it, already knowing what it is. A schoolyard crush. Harmless, it'll pass. Eventually, when you're a distant memory to them, Satoru will tease him about it and Suguru will give a playful elbow nudge. Much to your relief, Suguru doesn't pull you to the side and confess. He's refined, in that way, never giving too much until you have the evidence and clues yourself.
It continued like that for months. And then, something changed.
They stopped coming around as much. Daily visits turned weekly. Weekly turned to every so often. Their energy felt off too. Satoru seemed the same as always, if not a bit more mellowed out. It was Suguru you mainly worried for. Each time he returned, he looked worse and worse. Darker circles. Eyes filled with exhaustion.
You pull him aside eventually, asking if anything is going on, asking if he's okay, asking if he wants to talk. As sincerely as you can, you tell him that you're here for him. He at least attempts to smile at that. When you press, he shakes his head.
"It's nothing," you both know he's lying, "it's just....it's nice to see that there is one exception."
A little while after that, they stop coming entirely. You notice, but you aren't able to focus on it. School gets harder, you're cutting back your work to focus on it. You don't even recognize Satoru at first when he walks in nearly a year later.
He's different. So much taller. Despite being a few years younger than you...he doesn't feel like a kid anymore. An easygoing smile is pulled on his face when he sees you, giving a lazy wave. You return it, though a bit hesitant. He talks to you as though no time has passed at all, asking what you made for him this time. He talks fast. His voice is too laid back. Too casual. Like he's avoiding something. You think you know what.
"Where's Suguru?" you ask when you glance behind Satoru for the third time, "I haven't seen him around lately."
He freezes, like he's been dreading that question ever since he came in. Finally, he shrugs, making a noncommital hum. His sunglasses obscure his eyes but it isn't enough to hide how cold he suddenly turned. Satoru seems to realize that too. His answer is pulled by reluctance.
"We don't talk anymore." He doesn't say anything more. You don't need him to.
When he pulls out his wallet, you tell him it's on the house. He looks at you then. His mouth opens, searching for the right words. He waits too long. His mask slips back into place.
Gojo grins at you, painfully fake.
"Take care of yourself, will ya?"
You never see him again after that. You know it's your fault.
You think about them every so often when you can, Suguru especially. He rests in the back of your mind like an old piece of furniture you can't bring yourself to throw out. Suguru sometimes haunts your dreams with his darkened eyes and the pure brokenness on his face. For some reason, you think you failed him somehow. You felt like you could have done more. Maybe, if you'd tried harder to reach out, things would have been different. Two boys wouldn't be utterly heartbroken.
Years pass by. You quit working at the cafe. You graduate college. You move cities. You get a job. Eventually, you settle into a nice apartment. You forget all about your days in that quaint little restaurant, your attention hogged by a couple of annoying high schoolers. You don't think about Satoru for years. You don't think about Suguru for years.
Until one day, when he calls your name in the street.
He was bigger now, towering over you with broad shoulders. His hair was longer, darker too, less of a green, more black. He's ditched his school uniform, trading it for a more casual outfit. It's his face that makes you hesitate before you use your voice, that same smile, physically at least. He looks the same, but then he doesn't.
"...Suguru?" It's a question because you're still not sure.
He smiles wider.
"Long time, huh?"
Somehow, your reunion culminates in a restaurant. You still feel out of it, somehow, like you're watching yourself in an out-of-body experience. Between the food and him, you're not sure if you can even believe it.
He tells you he heads a temple now. A pious man. You shouldn't be surprised, considering his education, but you never knew he was so invested in religion. The two of you converse about other meaningless things. The conversation becomes less stilted. More sincere. You learned your lesson from last time. You don't bring up Satoru unless he does.
Much to your disappointment, he doesn't.
Compared to yours, his life is so crazy. Not just with the temple. Suguru tells you he's a father now too. Adopted two little girls. He's barely 22. You can barely hold your disbelief, shaking your head as you take another sip of your coffee.
"In any case," you say when the conversation draws to a lull, "I'm just really glad you're happy, Suguru. You deserve it."
When Suguru gives you a questioning look, you continue.
"The last time we saw each other, you looked miserable."
His eyes widen in realization before a laugh bubbles out of his throat. Deep, rich like chocolate.
"Back then, I was going through a lot." He sighs. "I was figuring out what I wanted. It...it was a tough time for me."
You nod along, hoping you aren't forcing him to pry. However, the Suguru you're faced with now doesn't seem like that type of person anymore. He won't give if you press. He talks on his own terms. You never once thought of him as a pushover, but he's less open now. Perhaps it's because he's no longer a child.
Suguru smiles then, a little more sincere than his first.
"You know...I've always wanted to thank you."
You tilt your head. "What for?"
He plays with his empty cup like he's searching for the answer himself. "You gave me hope when no one else did. Everyone was so quick to tell me if I was wrong or right."
He leans back on his chair, eyes drifting towards the ceiling, "Other humans, they're always so enraptured by their own lives. You were the only person who reached out. At least, who cared enough to."
The guilt from years ago slipped back into your throat. So he had been suffering. You should have done more. He was just a kid. They both had been. You could have done something. Maybe you could have saved a little more.
His hand finds yours on the table. They're rough, calloused. You can feel the scars. He squeezes your fingers.
"Thank you," he murmurs, "For being an exception."
You squeeze back.
It's a tumultuous friendship, at first. It's much like a burn. Sensitive, it hurts at first. The wound is too fresh. Eventually, dead skin and memories fade away. You find yourself texting him. Once a week. Maybe a little more, if you get brave enough.
Once, he sends you a picture of a white cat lounging in a sunbeam.
looks like Satoru, he types.
(You stare at the caption for a long longer than necessary.)
It does, you send back.
You visit his temple once. He invited you, actually. A free tour, he had joked. It was beautiful. A large expansive garden filled with all types of flowers. The courtyard felt like it stretched for miles. That was just the outskirts of the temple. The building was something else entirely. A large ceiling. Expansive walls. White pillars that keep going higher and higher and higher.
You notice his followers are everywhere. Most carry the same smile on their face. Bright, happy, cheery, but too strained. Like it's a job for them. It feels weird to say, but he fits nicely here. You think that because this wasn't the place you thought Suguru would end up. He dons the traditional clothing perfectly. Like they were made for him. They probably were, considering how high his reputation was.
If he hadn't had the same face, the same hair color. You wouldn't have recognized him at all. He's managed to replace every single thing in his life with something new. It doesn't go unnoticed by you that you're the only thing he keeps from the past. A momento of sorts. You're a keepsake, for him. You don't mind the symbolism. You've always been easily flattered.
You just failed to realize that not all of his feelings had changed.
It was in front of your house. After, yet another visit to the temple (much at Suguru's insistence), he'd offered to walk you home. You would have declined if it wasn't so dark out. In the end, you accept his offer.
"The girls have come to like you," Suguru says after a lull of pleasant silence. When you glance at him, you find his eyes on you.
"Have they?" you prod.
In all honestly, you didn't think they liked you at all at first. You don't have that much experience with young children, but you found it odd how unnerved Nanako and Mimiko seemed to get around you, practically hiding behind their father's figure, peeking out with untrusting eyes. Suguru had to gently coax them out with soft words, insisting that you were a close friend of his, you were 'different'.
"Yes, they talk about you all the time," he continues, rolling his eyes in affection, "Mimiko especially gets very animated."
Your heart skips a beat at his answer. You never felt one way or the other about children, but it felt nice when two little girls felt so highly about you. Those two especially.
"It must be from all the sweets I bribed them with," you say, jokingly, "Please tell me I didn't cause them any stomach aches."
He laughs, light and pretty.
"It's not that," he responds, "it's because of you, mostly. You're different from the others."
You smile, but it's half-hearted, an attempt more than anything. It takes you a while for you to work up for the question. For some reason, you feel a bit nervous, like you're stepping on something you shouldn't be.
"Different," you start, "you keep saying that. What does that mean? What am I different from?"
He stops, just at the entrance of your flat. Suguru's fingers drum on his pants. You stare at him. He stares right back.
"You are different, in so many different ways," he says, though it feels as though he's speaking to himself, rather than you.
He takes a step forward. Tiny, he barely even moved. And yet, the distance between the two of you has vanished completely.
"You've always been. Different from everyone else. The only one." You can't tell if he cut himself off, or if there was truly nothing else to say.
It was barely a kiss. His lips brushed against yours, barely touching. Soft, like he cherished you the most out of all his possessions. The gentleness of it all is enough for you to freeze.
Then his hand curls around your waist, and you jolt back into your body.
You splay your hands on his chest, pushing him away until you have enough momentum to step back. His loose hold on you falls away. You can't look at him, even when you can feel his stare burn into you.
"Suguru," you say, because you're mind is still running to catch up to your heart, "I-we-"
Your name being called stops your babbling. You don't think he saw, god you hoped he hadn't. When you look over, he's smiling, so you don't think he did. He was never one to hide his feelings. Still, you step away from Suguru, ignoring how stiff the man had become.
"Hey," you say, mostly out of relief because you couldn't deal with this anymore. When he wraps you into a hug and a chaste kiss, you wordlessly accept. Suguru's gaze on your back only gets stronger.
"Who's this?" he asks, gesturing at Suguru. Your smile falters as you glance at Suguru. His face was blank. He wasn't even smiling anymore as he continued to stare at your man.
"A friend," you say before Suguru can make this already worse, "and he was just leaving."
"Oh," he says, before smiling down at you. Delightfully oblivious.
"We'll talk later, okay Suguru?" You send Suguru a hurried smile before dragging him into your shared flat.
You lock the door behind you. He says something just then, you laugh, trying so hard not to sense Suguru's presence through the door. You don't think he leaves. Not for a good long while.
You don't speak to Suguru, after that.
You wince whenever you see his name through your contact list now, as though even seeing a remnant of him is painful. You don't go to the temple anymore. Your communication with the girls turns nonexistent.
Suguru hasn't said anything to you either. The line has grown dead both ways.
You feel guilty, even though you know it wasn't your fault, you still can't help but wonder if you could have done something different. Did you do something that made him think you were interested? You probably had, knowing how unaware you could be, sometimes. You couldn't help but feel ecstatic when the two of you reconnected again. You'd been so excited for Suguru, happy for him because he'd finally found his way. You didn't know he still liked you after all these years. It was a schoolyard crush, at least, it was supposed to be.
Looking back, you didn't think you'd even told Suguru that you were already seeing someone. One blunder after a blunder.
It must have been embarrassing for him, you can't help but think. Even when he was younger, Suguru had always held onto his pride dearly. You don't know if your friendship could ever be the same after this, but you'd like to extend the olive branch. If he'd take it.
You tell your boyfriend about the incident eventually. You know it's not your fault, but you still feel like it is. He takes it well, once you explain, looking at you sweetly.
"I could tell something was going on between you and him," he says, "but thanks for telling me."
"You aren't mad?" you ask, half-afraid of the answer.
"At you? Course not. Him, however"- he made a swing motion with his fist "-he does something like that again and I'll punch his lights out."
You laugh, knowing it's a joke, giving him a chaste kiss on the cheek. He beams.
It takes a week of radio silence to forget about the mishap. You're humming a song you've forgotten the lyrics to when you arrive at your apartment. Your boyfriend said that he was coming home early tonight. You'd planned something quiet for the evening. A movie, cheap drinks.
"Welcome home." Suguru grins. You freeze.
He sits on the couch, splayed out like he belonged there. He's not wearing his priest garment, now garbed with a simple shirt and jeans. It takes a minute for you to figure out what you're looking at. Slowly, you close the door behind you.
"Hey," you say, hoping your tone doesn't indicate just off-put by this encounter you are.
Suguru doesn't seem to mind your reluctance.
"He let me in." Suguru points to somewhere behind you. Oh, your boyfriend is probably in the bathroom. "He was such a nice man. You were very lucky."
"Thank you," you find yourself saying, "I am."
His smile grows bigger, and you wonder if there's a joke you aren't let in on. Like he's saying something that's going right above your head.
When you take a glance behind you, your partner is nowhere to be seen. It makes you wonder if you should say something to Suguru right now. Mend the bridge that's shattered between you. Currently, he seemed to be in a good mood.
"Suguru," you start, taking a tiny step forward. You twiddle with your fingers.
"Listen, I'm really sorry for how things went the last time we met. I just-" He hushes you, putting a finger to his lips.
"You shouldn't air out your affairs in front of him like that," he tells you, "you might hurt his feelings."
What? You look behind you again. Nothing.
Suguru laughs. It sounds off. Wordlessly, he points behind you again but angles his finger a tiny bit higher. You follow his direction.
Immediately, you wish you hadn't.
He's in pieces, scattered all over the ceiling. A hand is above the door, a leg is above the kitchen. It's like his appendages were chopped before being glued onto the ceiling. There's no blood, just body parts.
The worst part was that he was still alive. His head was still attached to his torso, the only part of him that was still intact. His mouth was open, his eyes were wide, and it took you a second that he was trying to tell you something. Repeating a word over and over.
Run.
Your hand covers your mouth as you continue to stare up at him. What was left of him. You think your knees are threatening to give before Suguru's holding you up. You can feel him lead you towards the couch, sitting you down in the plush mattress. He curls an arm around you, letting out a sigh.
"I meant what I said." Suguru adjusts your hair. "He was such a nice man, for a monkey anyway."
It doesn't occur to you that Suguru had done this until he speaks. You'd known Suguru said he performed exorcisms in his temple. You didn't-you couldn't-
"You?" you can barely push the wavering words out, "you-how-Suguru-"
He hushes you, drawing you closer to his body. You're completely dwarfed by him as he rests his head on your neck, breathing in your scent. You are barely coherent, sucking in air as your voice dissolves into sobs.
"I would have liked it if things hadn't turned out this way," he sighs, "but I don't believe it would have turned out any differently."
His tone is almost pitying.
"You may be the exception, but you are still one of them. Unaware of the true hierarchy." Suguru hums.
"That's alright. It wasn't your fault. You were simply born this way," he continues, "I don't mind teaching you."
You wiggle, trying your hardest to get out of his grip. Suguru only clicks his tongue. A harsh grip on your waist is enough to still you. You can't understand what's going on, maybe you never will, but you know one thing. You let a monster back into your life. Geto Suguru was not the same person you knew when you were younger.
Or perhaps, he was always this way. He was just better at hiding it, back then.
"I'm sorry," you finally let out, "Suguru, I'm-I'm so so sorry. I'll do whatever-whatever you want. Anything just please please please-"
"I'm afraid there's nothing I can do for him," Suguru doesn't sound too apologetic, "though, I could put him out of his pain. Would you like that?"
You didn't need him to elaborate. Suguru would kill him. Or perhaps he was already dead. His moving eyes, his twitching lips, were all just muscle memory. The last of his brain synapses. There was no science, no magic, that could bring him back from this.
And maybe, that tiny selfish part of you wanted to stop seeing his mangled body.
You nod and you can feel Suguru's grin. He snaps his fingers. The thing disappears, vanishes into mist.
"All gone!" Suguru declares. "There. Isn't that better?"
You wince when he touches your face, brushing away the tears. You're too scared to do anything more. You don't fight when he kisses your neck. You don't fight when he kisses your jaw. You don't fight when he kisses your lips.
It's with the same gentleness as the last time he'd kissed you, right outside of your apartment. Soft, warm, loving.
You start sobbing then. Ugly, heaving, heartbroken. He takes it in stride, humming as he pushes your body down until your back is pressed on the couch. His lips brush your damp cheek.
"There's no need to be afraid." Through your tears, you can see him smiling down at you. "The worst has passed. I'll take care of you from now on."
The worst part about all of this is how honest he sounds. Like he truly believes he's doing this for your good. It makes you wonder who the delusional one is. Him or you.
He's tuts in sympathy as you lay there, shivering underneath him.
"You must be so confused, poor thing." He tilts his head, the back of his fingers stroking your cheeks. "I should explain, shouldn't I? Unfortunately, I'm more interested in other things right now."
You must look horrible, but Suguru doesn't seem to mind, bending down, melding your lips with his. He sighs, like he'd waited eons for this. You stiffen when you feel his hands play with the band of your skirt. As if he can feel your beginnings of struggle, he pulls back, staring you down. Brown, almost black, eyes peer down at you. There's a hint of a warning curling on his lip.
You still immediately. If he could do that, what could he do to you?
"None of that," he chides, and yet he's so painfully gentle about it, "be good."
What was he? How did he do this? How could he? You want to ask them all but you can only get one out when you lift your head, getting your voice to work.
"Why?"
You don't know what you're asking. He clearly does. Another soft smile. You wish you could tear it off his face.
"You were always the exception, even back then," He says quietly into the stale air of the apartment. His eyes drift and you wonder if he's remembering the you all those years ago, secretly passing pastries to him and Satoru, giggling at jokes only a highschooler could make. "The only one of the humans who didn't utterly disgust me."
Fingers reach for the hem of your skirt, pushing it up your bare legs.
"And it's natural, isn't it? To protect the exceptions, the rarities of the world," he says, "To keep them away from the impure."
You start crying again. He patiently hushes you, kissing away your tears. This time, you don't bother putting up a fight. You just squeeze your eyes closed, flinching when he reaches to your inner thighs, feeling the cotton of your panties. His breath hitches. So does yours.
He bypasses the cloth with two dexterous fingers. When he touches the skin, you flinch, trying to squeeze your thighs closed. It doesn't help. Suguru leans forward, you can feel his breath on your cheek as you shiver underneath him. He finds your clit, teasing it with a calloused thumb. You think you're mouthing it, even when you can't bring yourself to say it. Don't touch me don't touch me don't touch me.
He doesn't listen. You don't know if he heard it or not. It didn't matter, either way. It wasn’t like he was planning to stop.
Despite how much you don’t want this, your body doesn’t listen. His touch is gentle, soothing on your pussy despite the horrors you’ve seen him do. It doesn’t take long for your cunt to adjust, dripping.
There’s a satisfied sigh above you and you know Suguru had felt it too.
One finger pushes into you. You gasp, curling your back, unprepared but Suguru’s giving a pleasant hum, easing you into it. Despite how humiliating this entire situation is, your one reprieve is being able to bury your head into his neck, keeping yourself there as he continues to have his way with your body. You can feel him kiss the crown of your head, an action that completely juxtapositions another finger entering your wet hole.
He’s gentle, but not slow. He fingerfucks you with earnestness, curling his fingers when your walls tighten around him. Your crying is interrupted by the reluctant moans and gasps every time he presses deeper into you, finding a spot that has you seeing stars behind your eyelids. You bit your lip, keeping the noises inward. He tuts at that.
“Don’t be shy,” he coos in your ear, “it’s okay to enjoy it. I want you to.”
As if to highlight his words, he gives another particularly intense push, you wince when you can hear the wet squelch of his fingers.
“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Suguru asks, “I could always be this nice with you.” You let out a squeak when his thumb presses against your clit, unable to keep it in. Suguru gives a breathy laugh.
His other hand starts to explore, reaching up to your button-up, flicking them off with a single-experienced hand. The bra you wore is barely seductive, but Suguru’s tracing the ends of it anyway, touching the fabric just by your skin before pushing the undergarment down.
Whether it’s from the air or his fingers fucking your pussy, your tits are already sensitive. You let out a breathy whine when Suguru grips on of them too hard, squeezing the fat in his large hands.
“So sweet for me.” You can hear the smile on his lips.
Everything becomes too much, and before you can think, your hand is shooting down, grabbing onto his wrist, squeezing as hard as you can, your nails digging into his skin. Your other is pushing against his shoulder. He barely seemed to even notice, holding you down with his weight, thrusting in his fingers all the way to the knuckle.
“Suguru I-” It’s supposed to be another plea for him to stop, but your weak voice calling out his name only seems to excite him further. His thumb dances on your swollen clit, his fingers never relenting until he’s pushing you higher and higher until you fall.
White hot electric pleasure snaps within you, forcing your body to jolt, as you curl up from the sofa. You think he’s saying something, words of comfort as though he could be any crueler, but you’re not listening. You came so hard you almost forget where you are, who you’re with. You can feel Suguru watching until you fall against the cushion again, utterly spent. Your grip slackens against his wrist, before falling away completely.
“See? Didn’t I say I’ll take care of you?” You don't even have the energy to glare at him.
He’s giving another laugh, kissing your cheek before he’s leaning back. His fingers slip out of you, and then there’s a sucking sound. You can’t help it, blinking open your eyes. Suguru stares back at you, eyes half-mast, a pink tongue flicking out to lick at his fingers before he puts them in his mouth completely, swallowing down the evidence of your orgasm. A lewd moan escapes him, muffled. You once again wished you hadn’t looked.
You’re already expecting it, but you still flinch when you hear the zipper loud and clear. He moves his jeans low enough to pull out his cock. He’s already hard, a bead of precum right at the tip as he gives a few cursory pumps. He’s big, you blearily realize. Despite the mind-numbing orgasm he’d just given you, you doubt it’d be enough to even take him.
“It won’t fit,” you find yourself whispering.
Suguru just hums in acknowledgement, giving you a knowing look as he finishes tugging off your panties. The fabric slides off your shaking leg before dropping onto the carpeted floor.
It’s too late for a fight, but you’re rising anyway, pressing your hands against the cushions, trying to create some space. Suguru is quick to shut it down again, leaning back into you as he palms himself some more.
“You’ll be alright,” he assures but it doesn’t help the panic the fear in your soul, “I cherish you too much to break you.”
With little effort, he spreads your thighs. His cock rubs against you once, twice, before entering your throbbing pussy.
Already it’s too much. He’s thick, stretching out your walls, threatening to rip you in half. You close your eyes again, squeezing them shut as the pain starts to edge a little too close to bloody. Helpless, your hand finds his shoulder, not pushing but digging your nails into his shirt. He purrs when you grip him tighter, moving until he’s seated fully into you.
He stays like that, keeping himself there as your walls squeeze him tighter. It’s almost a relief that it ended, but now, he’s taken everything.
“Look at me.”
His voice is rough, almost a rasp, an order. You find yourself obeying. Through your tears, you blink up at him, finding his gaze.
He stares down at you, a look of satisfaction in his eyes and you don’t think you are yours anymore.
He pulls back, your cunt tries to suck him back in, but he drags his cock out anyway until only his head is barely inside.
“Perfect,” Suguru murmurs as though it’s a secret not even you should hear, “absolutely perfect.”
You cry out when he pushes back in. It’s a gentle pace, slow and steady like he’s easing you into it. He’s being kind, you finally realize, a thought that makes your skin crawl. It’s so much worse than if he had been nasty. Harsh and biting with thrusts that would make your body sore and weak afterwards. If he was abusive, not caring about you, just his own pleasure. You wish Suguru was being mean, being cruel. At least then, you wouldn’t like it.
Despite the unexpected size, your body is adjusting. Pain ripples into reluctant pleasure, numbing your mind as his hips meet yours. It gets even worse when Suguru leans down, biting and sucking at your tits, enough for there to leave a mark. Something that will bruise and remind you of what he did.
“You don’t know how long I wanted this,” he’s saying somewhere above you but your head is swimming and you can’t focus where you want to, “how long I’ve wanted you like this.”
Suguru sits up again, grabbing one of your legs, hiking your hips up so his cock can go that much deeper inside of you. You babble something that you yourself can’t decipher. Suguru’s lips curl into another painfully soft smile.
“Ever since highschool,” he’s confessing like he’s a sinner and you’re his God but you know that isn’t true because what sort of god would be humiliated like this? “Remember that apron you wore?”
His hand reaches over, spreading over your pussy, stretching the fatty part of your cunt so he can have a better view of him disappearing inside of you.
“I always wondered what you’d look like wearing nothing but that on, spread out on the counter for me.”
He flicks your clit, and for the second time that day, you can feel yourself crashing. As though he can sense it, his thrusts shorten, grinding against your pussy and there’s a hand catching your chin, forcing you to look.
Suguru’s smile is gone, replaced by a snarl that promises to eat you alive. His eyes are blown wide, and he’s gritting his teeth, barely holding control by a hair.
“Come for me.”
You’re too far gone to do anything but listen.
You stutter in his grasp, arching your back, cumming with a breathy whine. It’s like a tide, pushing you out into sea, refusing to take you in. Unconsciously, the leg he holds tightens around his waist as you pulse around his cock.
He follows after, barely holding himself together, not when your cunt is milking him for all its’ worth. There’s a few particularly harsh thrusts before something warm and sticky fills your battered pussy before he's falling into you, pressing your body against the soft cushions.
You lay there, panting with him on top of you. Slowly, you come back to yourself, feeling your arms your legs. Your brain resets, and you’re suddenly remembering that you have a murderer’s cock inside of you.
Suguru’s face is buried in your neck. He gives a shaky kiss to your jaw; another on the corner of your lips. You can only stare at the ceiling, where the remnants of a body used to be.
"You know, the girls have always wanted a mother," Suguru's saying into your skin.
"I'm sure they will be very pleased with my choice."
#yandere#yandere jjk#x reader#dark content#dark jjk#non con touching#tw:noncon#dark geto suguru#yandere geto suguru#tw:gore
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Volume 9 spoilers!
Contains RWDE content.
Lots of rambling.
Might be incoherent at times.
Don't like? Don't read.
Okay. Wow.
Binged all of V9 up until now, so here's some thoughts and rambles about it:
Weiss is a mood, but her "comedic" anime-style moments are... Annoying. And definitely out of character. I find it incredibly irritating that she refuses to believe they are in a fairytale even though it's pretty fucking obvious.
Ruby helps out a cute little mouse. She states that she wishes the mouse could help her too, then freaks out when the mouse responds. After some discussion, Ruby describes her friends in hopes that the mouse saw them (specifically stating Blake has cat ears and thus is a faunus, while the others are human). She decides to call the mouse Little, and thus they become her guide.
Sort of. Little constantly falls asleep.
Meanwhile, Weiss saying that they're looking for Gambol Shroud is a nice touch, but would be confusing if one didn't already know that was the name of her weapon. I like that the weapons have names, instead of it being just Ruby calling her weapon Crescent Rose.
Blake gets exhausted pulling a vine for maybe 5 seconds. Weiss gets tired after slashing two vines with her sword, only for them to grow back.
Ruby and Little find the two tangled in vines ( a trap Blake set off by trying to grab her weapon while Weiss cheers her on in the background). The mice explain they do not like cats, which Blake just... Shrugs off, saying she understands.
They encounter the Jabberwalker! But just before they move in to attack, Yang yells at it to get it's attention back on her. The Jabberwalker retreats. I love how weird it's movements look, but I have no idea what the hell it said.
Yang saying "Dammit. You weren't supposed to be here" to Ruby is nice. Ruby lying about why they're down there too is not. They fell in, they did not go after her and jump in. Also I honestly forgot they were sisters.
Blake knocking Yang over to hug her was cute. The missing arm jokes were not.
Oh my god, the raccoon's name is Jinxy. Why not just call him Jinx or something equally weird?
The odd "prices": a hug, something about love, and enough hope to fill a jar, were interesting, I'll say.
And the last one is particularly shocking: the usually hopeful, optimistic Ruby does not have enough hope to fill a jar.
And cool, Yang decides it's time for violence, despite Blake pleading that they don't fuck up like Alyx did in the story. The objects all turn back into what they actually are, and chaos ensues. Also, I don't remember Penny's swords being completely green.
Blake says they're acting just like Alyx, who started a war due to not knowing the customs of the citizens, and cheated in a game.
Also, what really irks me is that ALL FOUR know THE SAME STORY. They ALL heard it as children. Despite their incredibly different backgrounds and all. Why not have Blake recall a different version in particular? Maybe have one not know it at all? It seems incredibly odd to me that Weiss would know the same story as Blake, who knows the same story as Ruby / Yang.
I love the Curious Cat. His voice and design are pleasing to me. I like his "is it, or is it not" and / or literal responses, like "what do you go by?" / "I do not 'go by'; I leave that to the days and years". Also, the occasional cat-like behavior.
Speaking of, why the fuck is Blake so chill about being referred to as a cat? Ruby singles her out when talking about her friends, stating she's a faunus while the others are humans. What's worse, Blake specifically goes "from one cat to another" when talking to the Curious Cat. It just... Eugh. It's bad.
The Red Prince. Oh my god, he is so annoying. I know that's the point, but wow. The soldiers aren't much better, reminding me of Cordovan's soldiers.
The soldiers try to claim all the credit for the birthday gift, but freak out when the Red Prince complains that it's GREEN. One even says they didn't know it was green, even though they saw it before.
Speaking of the sword. I will admit, Ruby's speech about the sword made me tear up. Unfortunately, it rings hollow after the Atlas arc disaster.
(Later, Ruby giving the teapot lady her pin is even worse. It absolutely feel like a last ditch effort. "It contains a mother's promise" like hell it does! She sounds like Jinxy trying to sell his fake items: making it sound more special and valuable than it actually is.)
Ruby tries to cheer up the Red Prince by offering to play his game. When she asks how to play, everyone laughs. Then, the three rules are stated: pawns can move forward a certain number of spaces. one pawn moves each turn (a rule later discarded), and in order to take a square, one must dispose of whoever is occupying that space.
Ruby asks what that means, and finds out that it's literal. But the injured pawns are whisked away from the board, so no real harm is done. The Red Prince ever so kindly lets Ruby start. Her pawns are visibly far weaker, and as uncertain as Ruby herself.
Ruby notes she's missing a few pieces. Then, boom! Her friends are thrown in! They shrink to about 6 inches, and land on the board. Of course, they wreck house against the red pawns. But everything goes to shit when the Red Prince suddenly remembers Ruby is a human. Now both red and white pawns turn against her friends.
I admittedly liked this episode the most.
It's kind of cute that Ruby carries her tiny team mates in her cloak. Little is cute, but useless in all honesty.
Herb is interesting too. I love the design and voice. But the hallucination part was...
They encounter their old selves, who offer them to go back, to change who they are.
Weiss: what if you completely changed who you are? started over, with no baggage?
Blake: why be the bridge between humans and faunus? you could be a human, or a cat.
Yang: what if you could get your arm back? don't you want to be whole again?
The three each refuse, Yang stating her loss has made her stronger, made her who she is now. She states: If I'm missing something, it's not because I lost it, but because I haven't found it yet." Which would be amazing if her recovery arc wasn't cut short because the writers stated it was boring. Also it doesn't really make sense in terms of her arm, which was what was offered: to be whole again.
Blake states that such a life wouldn't be simplicity, it would be betrayal. She continues: "my friends, my family, my people, my culture... they belong to me as much as I belong to them."
...Which is even worse because her character took a hard hit when the WF arc was dropped. What culture? Blake doesn't seem to have one. Again, it doesn't hit as hard as it could have.
Weiss replies, in true Weiss style: "I don't know who you think you are, but let me tell you who I am. I am a citizen of a fallen kingdom, an heiress to nothing. I am the great granddaughter of a hero, and the child of a villain. I will not be defined by my name; I will be the one to define it."
Probably my favorite. But again. Her arc was cut short by her just... Throwing her abusive father in jail. He was killed, but she doesn't even know that. The "great granddaughter of a hero", but said great grandfather was the one who started the SDC. Her father wasn't really a villain, just an asshole who was abusive.
She refused to be defined by her name, giving up everything... Until it was convenient for her, ie when they needed to hide, she literally bullied her way BACK into the Schnee manor.
Then, there's Ruby.
Her former self is overly cheerful, even as she tells Ruby: "your friends need you. the whole world needs you to keep fighting forever and ever, against an unkillable enemy that took your mother. ... Mom was the best. But even she failed. That doesn't seem fair. None of this seems fair!"
Ruby forced her way into this. She chased after Cinder during the Beacon dance. She went to Mountain Glenn on a mission far too advanced for her team (Ozpin bent the rules to allow this). She forced herself to be part of this.
I do love how past!Ruby says "none of this seems fair" as well as mentioning how Ruby originally wanted to be like the huntresses in the stories. How life wasn't like a fairytale but that was why Ruby needed to keep fighting. Going as far as saying "You can be whoever you want! You don't even have to be Ruby Rose!
So... What do you want to be?"
Ruby is unable to defend against her past self, and crumbles. The Curious Cat has to intervene, and tells Herb (or Past!Ruby?) to get away from her.
The Curious Cat says to him "You help others find their way, but you have lost your own" and gives him some of his heart? Then Herb is literally swallowed up by the ground. Holy fuck.
What the fuck is Ascension? It sounds worse than dying. I mean. You get swallowed up by the ground, then spit back out with no memories, just a "purpose".
Weiss says it's not possible, that everything must die eventually. Even though Ozma and Salem herself are literal proof against this. Yes, Ozma's host will die, but his soul will simply find a new host.
Wait... Why are they running?
No, seriously. The previous episode ended with Herb falling through the ground.
Okay, they need a bunch of stuff to make Grow-Gurt Parfait(?). Including... Nose hair from a leprechaun? Ew.
The group splits: WBY + Curious Cat gather the other ingredients, Ruby and Little get the nose hair.
Ruby has some sort of... Hallucination? Teleportation? To a blacksmith's workshop, where she finds Penny's sword (Red Prince voice: WHY IS IT GREEN). She sees Penny's reflection in it. Then, she sees what looks like a sort of scythe. Looking closer, she sees someone's reflection. Maybe Alyx?
Boom, she's back(?), and she has no nose hair of any sort. Thankfully, they soon find the Teapot Lady. Curious Cat knocks random crap over, just like a cat would.
The Grow-Gurt Parfait is made. The girls go to eat it. One handful makes them slightly taller.
Suddenly, a Jabberwalker appears! The parfait spills on the ground and the Jabberwalker eats some. Fuck.
Everyone panics!
WBY run over to the spilt parfait and eat what's left. Which is enough to return them to normal size.
Blake asks what's a Jabberwalker, despite seeing one earlier and knowing what it was. Apparently, if they get eaten by it, they will not Ascend.
So they do die, basically. Weiss was correct.
A jackalope - bunny creature appears to fend off the Jabberwalker. A knight is seen on its back. The Jabberwalker disappears... But in a similar way to Neo's semblance.
Meaning Neo is somehow behind it!
[Neo's semblance evolved. Now she can literally create clones. ]
Suddenly, several more crawl into view.
The knight tells them to run. So they run.
Weiss watches the place burn as people scream and run away. She tears up, telling Ruby she's tired of leaving places in ashes.
They keep running after the knight, who Blake recognizes as the Rusted Knight.
The creature is named Juniper (JNPR callback, which would have more impact if the team interacted with each other more). The knight takes off his helmet, revealing...
[groans]
Jaune. Except he's... Much, much older. Even though he fell last.
"Team RWBY. You finally made it."
I knew Jaune was gonna have some big huge arc instead of our main four. No wonder their journey felt rushed. Though, then I started wondering about how the heck Jaune turned into the Rusted Knight when none of RWBY literally became Alyx. Or any other character.
I really don't know how to feel about this volume. On one hand, it's interesting. On the other... It's annoying because, remember:
- Atlas is now Atlantis (gone)
- Almost the entire population of Atlas / Mantle is now in Vacuo. A kingdom already struggling.
- Salem is roughly halfway to her goal of getting all the relics and is on her way to Vacuo.
- Tyrian and Mercury are also heading there.
And since time likely flows differently in the Ever After, this feels like a huge distraction. A time skip so team RWBY don't have to actually do anything about the situation.
Literally what I hoped wouldn't happen.
#rwde#volume 9#rwby critical#major spoilers#what the fuuuuck#i hate it here#slight character bashing#rwde content#eugh#i have so much to say about this shit#and not much of it is good#little the mouse is annoying#i love the Curious Cat tho#cryptic asshole cat
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Holy Ground - Chapter 3
Summary:
Nobody knew that Azriel found his mate. Until she nearly died. This is the aftermath.
Warning:
Rhys Bashing (as usual), Inner Circle Bashing (kinda), Referenced/Implied Sexual Assault, Referenced/Implied Domestic Violence, Discussion of Religion(?), Chronic Injury/Pain/Illness, Minor Character Death (It's probably nobody you love), Magical Work Accidents, Explosions, Injuries
If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable, please take care of your own mental health and don't read it.
The library was supposed to be a safe space. The priestesses were supposed to be sheltered there.
A place far away from the terrors of the world. A place where they could study and learn far from the grasp of those who would harm them.
But clearly today that peace had been destroyed, Rhys reflected weakly.
Merrill was dead.
Neither Cassian or Rhys had let Gwyn see the…carnage of that, Nesta and Emerie bracketing her away from…her fellow priestesses’ corpse…and Irena…
Rhys had to keep repeating the words to himself, over and over again. Like a litany, a prayer, desperately trying to make them stick.
Irena was alive. Irena would be fine.
She would be alright, even though she looked so, so pale, deathly pale in Azriel's arms.
Irena.
Irena, who Azriel had saved around two centuries ago…
Not from the horrors of the war but from her husband.
The daughter of a merchant, married off young, to one of the richest men in the midlands…she had been raised to run an estate…had excelled at it in fact. And her husband had excelled in killing young girls.
The things he had put her through... The things he had done...
Azriel, who had found her and brought her to Velaris had been shocked that she'd stayed in one piece to be honest. Rhys had been shocked too.
And once she had been in the library…she had excelled once more.
Rhys had gotten long used to see her handwriting, not long suffering Clotho’s, fill out the sheets with expenditures and acquisitions.
She had cut the fat, made sure that the House of Wind was self sufficient, thanks to research requests being able to be submitted, thanks to patents and the gardens…
Irena had been a godssend. Literally.
Rhys wasn't quite sure how they had survived before her.
But the last fucking thing he had expected was that…her and Azriel were…mates.
Rhysand had not seen that coming in a million years
But there was no question about it.
If Irena's thoughts, an utter mess of shock and pain and grief and agony...with the only thing that ran through it the whole time was her thread to Azriel wouldn't have been a dead giveaway...then it would have been Azriel's behaviour.
Azriel who had gone on his knees next to the priestess, his hands slick with her blood and had simply clung to her. He had begged her, his voice broken.
Rhys would never forget the sound of his brother's voice, the pure desperation bleeding from every single letter. Please. We haven't had enough time. I am going to be so furious with you if you die. We may have our first fight. Don't you dare. Open your eyes. Look at me, love. You can't go. Fight.
That look on Azriel's face as he had held her close, refusing to let go as he tried to will her back from death's clutches. The words he had kept murmuring like a prayer. A desperate mantra to the Mother, the Cauldron, anyone who would listen.
Azriel was never the most expressive of them. He rarely even showed a flicker of emotion for most things. To see him lose so much control, to beg. To see tears in his eyes. None of them had ever seen him like that before, had ever even considered the possibility of him acting like that.
He was always composed. Always calm, collected, in control. To see him on his knees next to Irena, begging her not to leave as he pressed kisses to her forehead and kept telling her to stay with him…
For a moment, it had felt like he had forgotten the others even existed. That nothing had mattered except her pulse, the slight rise and fall of her chest. The only thing that had mattered to him in that moment was that she was still with him, still alive.
She was important to him. There was no question about it.
Sometime during the last few years, that Priestess had become the Shadowsinger’s whole focus.
Sometime in the past, Irena had become Azriel's whole world.
And Rhys hadn't known. Had known nothing about this.
He could feel the guilt clawing up inside him.
Rhys had had no fucking clue this was happening, right underneath his nose.
That he had never noticed that Azriel's eyes lingered on Irena…had never noticed that Azriel sought her company…hadn’t known that Azriel had spent time with her…
Rhys hadn't known. Hadn't...hadn't even thought about it.
Azriel had pulled back from them after that catastrophic solstice and Rhys had let him. Had thought that Azriel needed to lick his wounds...that maybe then he would see it Rhysand's way...but none of this happened.
Azriel had kept his anger tightly leashed, even though Rhys had gotten a taste of it every time he badgered him. But Azriel hadn’t exploded.
Instead, he had been vicious in throwing Rhysan’ own words back into his face.
There didn’t pass one day where Rhys didn’t regret that one sentence, because Azriel was clearly… furious about it.
Azriel had grown distant...cold...unfeeling. And Rhys had badgered him and got on his nerves and figured that if Azriel would just get it out of his system… but he didn't. Didn't get angry. Didn't fight. Didn't scream...Rhys would have preferred it if he did.
What wouldn't he give to have that old Azriel back, the one who actually got mad? Who didn't just accept everything with a nod and a word of acknowledgment. Who talked to Rhysand, who told him when he'd done something wrong. Who fought with him if he went too far, who made his opinion known. Who told him to his face when he was being an arrogant prick, who didn't just accept his commands with a quiet nod.
But now it made sense. Azriel hadn't fucking cared what Rhys did, what any of the did, because his priorities had been rearranged completely. As long as he could get home to his priestess...he hadn't cared.
He did all the missions Rhys had for him and then went home to the House of Wind and found one quiet corner or another to romance his mate, out of the view from everybody else.
And that was the worst part. That Rhys had been such a prick to Azriel, so wrapped up in his own worries, his own fears, that he hadn't even noticed that something had shifted so fundamentally in his brother. Had pushed him so far away.
Rhys had thought that they were simply…in a rought spot. That in a few years, Azriel would be over Elain and it would be done. But now Rhys realised that…that it wasn’t about Elain. Not really.
Rhys had never realized how deep this was, how close to the breaking point he'd taken his brother.
Deep enough that the fact that Azriel had found his mate...that was something that Azriel didn't share with any of them. Something that happy... Azriel had just kept silent.
Azriel hadn’t trusted them with the most treasured and precious thing in his life.
And that hurt. Hurt more than he could put into words.
That Azriel had found the one person who he was destined for, the only one who was perfect for him in the entire world. The one person who would love and cherish him, who would complete him, who would accept him as he was, who would understand him...and he hadn't told Rhys. Hadn't told any of them.
Azriel hadn't told anyone that he had found his mate.
Had kept that to himself for who knew how long. Just how long had it been? When had he figured out they were mated?
“Bring her to her room,” Madja said at the moment. And Rhys watched as seemingly some colour went back into Irena's cheeks, her eyes closed, her breathing still laboured…her mind filled with Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. and Safe, Safe, Safe.
“My room,” Azriel corrected, his voice fierce. The mating instincts must have gone completely haywire at that very moment, not soothed at all, even when he had pressed a kiss against her forehead moments before.
.“Your room?” Gwyn asked sharply, staring at Azriel, then at still, quiet Irena. She seemed to be utterly shell-shocked, not that Rhys could fault her.
"Gwyn," Rhys said carefully. It was best if none of them...interfered right now. This was between Azriel and his mate.
"Az, how long have the two of you..." Cassian asked, clearly having come to the same conclusion, but Rhys interrupted him. *Leave him be,* he warned their brother.
*Leave him be?! I had no idea that he and Irena are...whatever the fuck they are!*
“Two years. She’s my mate,” Azriel answered, not even looking at any of them, completely concentrated on said mate.
"Mate," Irena agreed weakly. "Mine."
"Yours," Azriel agreed, his voice hoarse, as he picked her up carefully like his mate was made out of spun glass. "Let's tuck you into bed, Love," he told her softly.
And off his spymaster went carrying the priestess that was his mate.
Rhys could just stare after them.
"Did you know?" Cassian demanded sharply.
"I had absolutely no fucking clue," Rhys admitted weakly.
He felt the guilt swirling inside him, deep and bitter and vicious. He should have known. He should have realized and supported Azriel.
But it had been Rhys who had pushed him so far away that he hadn't told him. That he didn't even think that he could tell Rhys that he had found his mate.
And it hurt. Gods, it hurt. To know that Azriel had kept something that he should have been so happy about to himself just so he wouldn't have to deal with Rhys's bullshit.
Cassian started barking orders...About a stretcher and about Merrill's body...It would be taken away and prepared for the last rites.
It wasn't often that one of the priestesses died. It wasn't...They were safe here. They were supposed to be safe here...but whatever happened in this room…
“What even happened?” Rhys asked, as he turned around to surview the carnage.
It was bad. Really bad.
“Irena went to talk to Merill, because Merrill got…angry with one of the newer acolytes…” Gwyn said, her voice shaky. “Merrill was in a bad mood because Irena forbid her newest research project.”
Her newest research project? It was well known that Merrill was brilliant. So for Irena to…
"Why did she forbid it?" Rhys asked curiously.
"It involved some form of spell crafting. Irena wanted Merrill to have supervision from a spellcrafter, because it was a language that none of us actually understood and we didn’t eve know about what kind of spell it was…Merill didn't think that was needed," Gwyn said weakly, wiping away tears. "And now look where that got us. God, how could Merrill be this stupid?"
"It wasn't stupidity, it was probably arrogance," Cassian said with a sigh. "It's dumb luck that only...that only Irena got hurt.
Rhys couldn't but agree with Cassian's assessment. It was a miracle that Irena was alive. That she'd survived when Merrill’s body was…near unrecognisable….clearly it had been closer to whatever had blown up in their faces
Merrill had probably thought she knew what she was doing, but she didn't have the skill or training to work on advanced spell work. I
rena wasn’t the type of person who would deny research on a whim either. If she believed that Merrill needed supervision then Merrill had needed supervision.
Irena was clever. And cautious.
Azriel's mate was a damn good judge of character after all.
Gods, Azriel's mate. What a thought…
The spymaster and the priestess. Rhys’ near silent brother and…and gentle, caring Irena, the beating heart of the library.
Rhys would need to wrap his mind around that in private.
“I’ll seal…this room,” Rhys said quietly. So nobody could enter. And then he would probably turn Amren loose in it, to turn around every fucking stone, so that they figured out what that spell had been that had reacted like it. The last thing they needed was for the spell to have any sort of consequences that involved Irena.
"Clotho," he greeted the priestess as she arrived, inclining his head.
What happened? she demanded, holding out her usual piece of paper.
Rhys felt his stomach churn at that question.
How the hell were they supposed to tell Clotho that not only one of the priestesses had tragically died…but one of the others was currently holed up in an Illyrian warrior's room, recovering from injuries that should have killed her, and that said Illyrian warrior was said priestess's mate, so was probably not going to leave her alone anytime soon?
And that was just the tip of the iceberg when it came to the absolute clusterfuck this whole situation was. There was nothing to do except to simply tell Clotho the truth and hope that she didn't have a breakdown.
"There was an...accident. Merrill is dead," he told her bluntly.
For a moment Clotho was just frozen in place. But he could tell that his words had hit her hard. That she was shocked, horrified, stunned beyond belief. HOW?!
And Rhys took a deep breath, trying to find a way to explain what had happened.
To explain how one of her charges had been killed in a room where she was supposed to be safe…How her own experimentation, her own research had killed her…
And how no one had even noticed that a priestess had been mated.
No...how the shadowsinger had mated to a Priestess and hadn't even thought to tell them because Rhys had acted like such as bastard to his brotherthat Azriel had actually thought it preferable to keep his mating bond a secret.
"Merill didn't listen when Irena turned down her research proposal," Gwyn said suddenly with a shaky voice. "Irena went to talk to her this afternoon, because Merill made Meera cry...It looks like the spell that she was taking apart went...haywire. Merill was killed in the backlash...Irena was hurt.”
Rhys just nodded. It was a reasonable explanation, even if it didn't cover everything that had gone on. At this point in time, he was almost more concerned about Clotho than anything else. The poor female looked ready to collapse.
I told Merill to keep away from that spellbook. We still don’t know what it even contained, Clotho agreed, even her handwriting looking shaky.
He could tell that she was in shock and grief. Could imagine how she must be feeling. Clotho protected the Priestesses with all she had. They were her flock. To lose one of her charges...There was no way that Clotho would not blame herself.
She was going to blame herself for something that wasn't her fault at all. And the thought made Rhys feel sick to his stomach.
Clotho had enough weight on her shoulders already, the last thing she needed was guilt over something that was not even her fault.
IRENA?! Clotho demanded sharply.
"Alive, if just barely," Rhys informed her, trying to push down his own guilt at the thought. "Madja is with her."
In the dormitory?
"No, in Azriel's room," Cassian said bluntly. "Apparently they have been mates for... two years.”
Clotho's head snapped around, facing Cassian, her eyes wide.
Nobody had seen that coming, not even one of Irena’s closest friends.
It seemed like both of them had kept it quiet. Azriel must have so badly wanted to protect his mate from…from him, that…
The thought made Rhys feel sick. Azriel would rather keep his mate a secret than reveal to Rhys that he had found her.
Than tell him that he had found his perfect match, that there was a female in this world that loved him above all others, who understood him, who supported him.
And it was all Rhys' own fault.
He didn't have any other thought. There was no other explanation. If a friend didn't trust him enough to confide in him that he had found his mate, it was because he had done something wrong. So wrong that Azriel hadn't felt like he could tell him.
She wanted to be with him? Clotho demanded.
"From the look of it, she was barely conscious, but still claimed him as hers. And Azriel certainly seemed to think that she would want to be with him," Rhys told Clotho.
And why wouldn't she? He was her mate. Her mate.
"He won't do anything to her," Cassian said fiercely. "She's his mate."
Rhys agreed with that. Of all the males in existence, Azriel was by far the least likely to do anything that Irena would not like. Hell, he wouldn't do anything that might make her even feel mildly uncomfortable. And if she told him to back off, he would give her as much space as she needed.
"Mor, whatever Clotho needs," he told his cousin, who had brought Madja there, who just inclined her head, seemingly shaken. "I'll seal of this room...we'll need to...figure out what to do with it," he said softly. "Clotho, whatever form of memorial you would like to hold...take all the time you need and then let me know."
Clotho looked at him sharply before nodding weakly. She probably wouldn't need his help when it came to something like this. She knew how to handle something like this. How to give her fallen a last farewell.
"I want to check on Irena," Gwyn said, her hands shaking as she crossed her arms.
Rhys nodded. That was fair. Of course Gwyn wanted to check on her friend. And at this point all anyone could really do was wait anyway. "Let me seal the room and then we can go," he said softly. "But I need to warn you, Azriel will be...overprotective," he told her. "Chances are, he won't let you get close to her at all."
"I don't have any doubt about that," Gwyn said dryly. "But she's my friend. I should at least be allowed to check on her."
***
He cleaned the blood of her skin...The shadows procured one of Irena's nightgowns. She didn't protest when he held her up and Madja pulled the soiled, ruined dress from her body...didn't even flinch away from his touch on her naked skin.
They had never gone further than some heated...kisses...further than his hands slipping under her nightgown and pressing against her soft skin. He had never wanted to push. Azriel had been willing to give her all the time in the world.
It had taken months until she had been ready for a hug…longer for a kiss. And he had waited. Gladly. He had gladly waited, because it was worth the wait. She was worth the wait.
Her marriage wasn't something that she was just going to get over, and Azriel was never ever going to push her for more than she willingly offered him.
He had never wanted to undress her under these circumstances. So he closed his eyes, and pressed a kiss to her head, not looking at all.
Irena didn't make a sound, didn't even really respond...just stared into the distance. He wasn't even sure she really noticed what was happening to her. Wasn't sure she even noticed Madja cleaning the wounds…cleaning thin, silver lines, scars of her past, mostly hidden by her clothing, but still visible.
This was also when they saw the rest of the wounds...and the fact that her bad leg was broken.
Madja bandaged it carefully, stuffing pillows underneath it to keep it elevated, wrapped the rest of her bruises and scrapes with a tincture.
Still, once she was clean, no more debris in her hair, her skin as clean as he could get it...and the new nightgown was fitted over her skin, he tugged her underneath the thick goose feather stuffed duvet and then the furs.
There was no resistance on Irena’s part. She just let him do as he pleased, let herself be maneuvered and tucked in with the patience of a parent settling a little girl into bed. She didn't say anything. Didn't protest at all, even when he curled his own large body around her smaller frame, even when his wings came around her, shielding her from the outside world.
But she didn't move to snuggle up to him either. Didn't reach for him, didn't try to press her body into his. Just...allowed him to pull her close and hold her as tightly as he wanted. Her body was limp and unmoving, the only emotion on her face a sort of...emptiness. A blank expression that...it was terrifying.
He wrapped his arms around her with a sigh, running a gentle hand through her hair with a sigh. He knew that she was in shock. That she had just survived something terrible, something traumatic. So it wasn't surprising that she wasn't really responsive at the moment, that her skin felt like ice to him and that she was shaking slightly, trembling…
But the instinct to comfort her, to protect her from everything that might hurt her was roaring in his chest. He couldn't pull away from her, even though he knew he should. Even though he knew he should just be thankful that he had her, that she was here, in his hands, breathing.
She felt so thin in his hands. So fragile. Like she might break if he didn't hold her close. And that feeling, the knowledge of how vulnerable his mate was, it was almost too much for him to bear.
“I have pain potions and a sleeping draught,” Madja said quietly.
Azriel felt his jaw clench at the mention of a sleeping draught. He wanted Irena to rest, needed her to sleep away some of the horrors, but there was also some instinct in him that revolted at the idea of making her vulnerable like that. That revolted at the thought of knocking his mate out when she couldn't protect herself.
“Is that alright, love?” He asked her softly.
She didn't answer. Didn't even stir. The only sign that she had heard his question at all was the way her fingers clenched more tightly in his shirt. The only outward sign that she even understood that he was there at all. That she could even hear him. "Love?" He asked again, his voice a gentle murmur. "Do you want the sleeping draught, love?"
“Sleep?” She repeated weakly.
“Sleep.” He promised her.
She simply opened her mouth in response, letting him pour it down her throat and swallowed.
He ran gentle fingers through her hair as the potion began to take effect. As her eyelids drooped and her limbs went loose and he could almost watch the tension leaving her body. He couldn't help but press a soft, tender kiss to the crown of her head.
Azriel couldn't put into words how good it felt to have her in his arms like this. To have her safe and protected and healing.
Madja left with the promise to be back soon…and as soon as she left there was a knock at the door. He didn’t want to deal with his brothers.
*We could bar the door, master,* the shadows offered.
Azriel considered that for a long moment. It was tempting. Really, really tempting to just let the shadows seal the door and tell everyone to fuck off. That they could deal with the rest of the world later and he could just focus on Irena for now.
He knew that he couldn't though. Knew that he couldn't keep the world away from Irena. For all that he would like to protect her from all the harm in this world and lock her away into the safety of his arms, he knew that he couldn't do that. And that Rhys would throw a fit if he didn't let them in immediately.
He sighed softly, his arms tightening around his mate. He didn't want to deal with his brothers right now. Didn't want to deal with Rhys lecturing him about his decisions. Didn't want the pity and understanding in Cassian's eyes, his careful kindness. He didn't want to have to hold up the strong facade when his brother pushed and pushed and pushed.
“Come in,” he said flatly.
Azriel sighed softly as the door was opened and his brothers entered, both looking at him with concern. There was something else in Rhys' eyes, something that he wasn't sure how to name. The High Lord had an indecipherable look on his face as he moved to come stand next to the bed.
But it was Gwyn that shouldered both Rhys and Cassian out of the way, that immediately went to Irena’s bedside.
“She’s asleep,” he warned her softly. “Madja gave her a sleeping draught.”
The Valkyrie moved in silence, but Azriel could tell that she desperately wanted to reach out and touch her friend. Could tell that there was some instinct in her to touch Irena, to comfort her, that she was fighting against. He almost felt bad for her, knowing how hard it must have been to hold back that urge to offer comfort, knowing how desperately she had to want to soothe her friend's pain.
He knew that the two of them were close. That Irena was well liked by practically every priestess…That Roslin was her very best friend, but that she also got along with seemingly everybody else, including Gwyn.
And he wanted to let her get close to his mate. He really did. But the need to keep his mate safe was too strong. Was something that he couldn't fight against. So he just pulled Irena more firmly into his chest.
His only saving grace was that Gwyn seemed to understand. Didn't even try to argue with him or demand to get close to his mate. She just stayed at a respectable distance and didn't protest when he pulled Irena closer to his chest.
He could tell that she recognized his possessive nature for what it was. Just a desperate instinct to hold and protect his mate from further harm. And she didn't argue with him.
“You are the one who gets her the tea and the cookies, aren’t you?” She asked him suddenly. “I was wondering where she got them from. They were always good but the tea has definitely gotten better the last two years.”
*See, Master?!* the shadows cooed, seemingly heaving and then coming to blanket Irena in their very presence too. *We are getting her the best tea!*
They seemed very pleased with themselves.
Azriel knew that when he wasn’t in Velaris, some of the shadows even kept Irena company through the night, cuddling themselves beneath her blankets with her. He also knew that Irena loved it.
Knew better than anyone even his shadows that those moments of comfort, those little gestures, mattered more to his mate than any large gifts ever could. Irena had never cared about large gestures, about pricy gifts, didn’t care about gifts or public displays of affection.
But those little things…she loved those little things. Loved her shadows coming to spend time with her…loved it when he gave her a back rub to ease the pain in her back, or when the shadows brought her the tea that she liked or her favourite cookies.
And Azriel…he loved giving her that. He was happy to provide each and every one of them. He would do anything for her at this point. Would bring her anything that she asked for with enthusiasm. Because he loved it when her face lit up or when she smiled when he brought her something she didn't expect to get. That was something that he would never get tired of.
Azriel would never get tired of watching her face light up with happiness at the smallest of gifts that he gave her. Would never tire of feeling those little gestures bring her even a small moment of happiness. It brought him somuch joy to see her delighted by something so small. Made something inside of him fill with warmth.
“I’ll let her sleep,” Gwyn said softly. “Tell her when she’s awake that she owes us all the gossip. None of us had a clue that the two of you were seeing each other.”
Azriel inclined his head in response, a soft grin pulling at his lips despite everything. "I'll be sure to tell her." Not that he thought that there was anything to gossip about.
Gwyn left with another smile. Which left him with his brothers.
“Az.” Cassian said with a weary sigh. ”What the fuck.”
Azriel frowned sharply, a low growl rumbling in his chest as he looked at his brother. His arms tightened around Irena unconsciously, the protective instinct coming into play.
He knew Cassian, knew all too well that his brother liked to be a pain in his ass, liked to push him further than he wanted to be pushed. "I'm not in the mood for your bullshit, Cassian," he warned his brother in a low growl. "Say whatever it is that you feel the need to say, and then get out."
He knew that he probably looked completely insane. Knew that he looked like a madman clutching onto Irena with an iron grip and growling at anyone who dared get too close. But he couldn't help it. Couldn't help the instincts that seemed to be pulling at every muscle in his body, couldn't stop the tension that was coiling tight as a spring.
“How long has… this been going on?“ Rhys asked delicately.
“Two years at next Starfall,“ Azriel answered flatly.
Cassian whistled softly at that. "Two years?!" He asked incredulously. "And you didn't think to tell us?"
Azriel's jaw clenched automatically at the words.
He had thought to tell them. Numerous times.
He had just never wanted to.
First he had wanted to let things settle and solidify before announcing it to his family and letting them come swarming in to analyse their relationship…Later…later he just hadn’t wanted to.
They were completely happy when nobody knew. Why change it?
Azriel knew that he probably should have anticipated this reaction. Probably should have expected his brothers to be confused and annoyed, probably should have anticipated them wanting to know more. But he just hadn't wanted to deal with the questions and inquiries and curiosity and judgement.
So he had kept his relationship with Irena a secret.
“It was none of your business,” he said simply.
Cassian stared at him, dark eyes pained. “We are your brothers,” he said quietly.
“Quite frankly, I just didn’t want to deal with whatever opinion you cook up about us,” Azriel said flatly. His brothers were way too nosy and curious for their own good. Always had been. “We are happy. I didn’t want you to ruin that.”
They would have never respected his privacy or any boundary he had tried to set up.
He knew that Cassianwas probably annoyed that he hadn’t told him about his relationship with Irena. Knew that he was probably feeling left out and...excluded. That he was hurt that Azriel had kept this from him. But he just couldn’t find it within himself to feel any sympathy at the moment. Not when his patience was already wearing thin. Not when he could still feel the fear of almost losing Irena thrumming under his skin.
He couldn’t deal with this right now. Couldn’t handle whatever pity or lecturing his brother would give him. Just wanted to hold his mate and try to keep the fear of losing her at bay.
That fear was already too much, already consuming him and threatening to swallow him whole. The only thing that kept him sane, the only thing that kept him from falling apart was the knowledge that his mate, his Irena, was safe in his arms. And he needed to focus on that if he wanted to keep it together.
“Azriel.” Rhys’ choice was choked.
Azriel stiffened at the sound, his attention flicking to his brother automatically. There was something in Rhys’ voice, some emotion in his eyes that Azriel couldn’t quite discern right now.
He had heard his brother choked or emotional or desperate before, but this was something else. This was emotion in his brother that he had never seen before: raw, unfiltered, and painful.
The tone of Rhys’ voice, the almost anguished look in his eyes had Azriel holding his breath for a moment. Had his heartbeat picking up speed as he waited for his brother to speak.
The tension was heavy and thick as he waited, his muscles coiled tight as he waited for Rhys to speak. His whole body tense like a tightly wound spring.
“I am sorry,” Rhys whispered quietly.
Azriel stiffened slightly at that, his eyes widening almost imperceptibly. His muscles were still tense, still ready for a fight, but the raw apology in Rhys' words, the emotion in his voice...it surprised him.
It was unexpected. He had expected the anger and the hurt and the bitterness, not the raw emotion in his brother’s voice. Not the apology.
He almost couldn’t believe his ears, almost wanted to ask his brother to repeat himself. But he just stayed quiet instead, just tensed and listened and waited for his brother to continue speaking.
He couldn't even blink as he waited, as he hung on every slight movement or small change in expression on his brothers face. The tension was so thick, so heavy he could almost taste it. But he still didn't move an inch. Just waited, every muscle still as a statue as he watched his brother with an almost desperate intensity.
“I am sorry. I didn’t…I didn’t want to hurt you,” Rhys said quietly. “I…we would have been happy for you,” Rhys promised him fiercely.
Azriel felt his throat go dry at the words. The apology, the admission of his brother's intent to protect him, it was so unexpected that he almost couldn’t comprehend it. He felt some of the tension drain from his body, some of the tightness in his muscles loosening slightly.
Azriel's eyes widened almost imperceptibly, his heart pounding so hard in his chest that he almost couldn't hear anything else over the sound. The raw emotion in his brother's voice, the sincerity in those simple words...it was overwhelming.
“You were hurt,” Rhys said softly. “I understand. But you could have come to us any time over the last two years and told us and we would have been a happy for you,” he promised him fiercely.
"Would you have really?" Azriel asked softly. "Would you really have been happy for us and not made a problem out of nothing?"
He wanted to believe his brother, truly he did. But there was still a small part of him, the small part that had been hurt and mistreated and rejected so many times before, that was waiting for the other shoe to drop. The part of him that was looking for a catch, looking for the sign that this was just another manipulation.
He didn't want to feel this way, didn't want to look for the betrayal and rejection that had been written into his very soul. But he couldn't help it. Couldn't help the small part of him that was constantly looking for the next blow, bracing for rejection and hurt.
“We would have,” Cassian said fiercely. “You found your mate, Az.”
Azriel nodded slowly.
“How did you even hide it?” Cassian demanded, crossing his arms.
“I do know how to use a sound shield,” Azriel gave back flatly.
Cassian let out a low chuckle at that, shaking his head as he grinned. "Well, you've always been more adept at keeping secrets than I am," he teased, a sly grin pulling at his lips. “ Since when do you sleep surrounded by furs by the way?” Cassian muttered.
“Irena gets cold,” he said simply.
“Wait, she spend the nights here with you?” Cassian suddenly realised.
"None of your business," Azriel replied flatly, not even trying to hide his annoyance with the nosy question. "Just focus on keeping your own mate happy, brother."
“How do you even sneak her up here?!”
"None of your business," Azriel repeated flatly. "My relationship with my mate is my own business, not yours."
He knew that he was being stubborn, that he was probably being unreasonable right now. But he couldn't help it. His emotions were too raw, too overwhelming for him to handle the intrusion into his personal life. He just wanted to focus on Irena and making sure she was okay, not on his brother's questions and prodding into the details of his relationship.
It was none of their business how he and Irena spent their time together, how they snuck around the house without being caught. That was something private, something sacred between them. And he wasn't going to share it with anyone, not even his own brothers.
He just wanted to protect that intimacy between him and his mate, wanted to keep it safely guarded from prying eyes that might not understand. He knew that his brothers cared about him, but he also knew that they could be too nosy for their own good sometimes.
“…is she aware what these furs mean?” Cassian asked him pointedly.
Was she aware that Azriel was laying claim to her with every single one of those furs that he hunted for her? Aware that he was following Illyrian tradition, regardless of how much…of how fucked up it was in many senses?
“Yes,” he said simply. Kinda. A little bit.
"So it's...serious?" Cassian asked him.
"She's my mate," he snapped back.
Cassian held up his hands in a pacifying gesture, a sheepish expression on his face.
Azriel let out a low groan, rubbing a hand over his face. "Just…leave it alone," he said tiredly. "Please. I'm not in the mood for any more questions right now."
He just wanted to be alone with Irena, wanted to hold her close and let the warmth of her body soothe his frayed nerves. He didn't want to deal with his brothers and their incessant questioning. Didn't want to talk about his relationship with Irena or how serious it was. He just wanted to be with her and that was it.
. His emotions were just too raw, too close to the surface for him to hold back. He just wanted a moment of peace, of quiet, with his mate.
He just wanted to hold her close and breathe in the scent of her skin, wanted to feel her warmth against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her protectively. He just wanted to know that she was safe, that she was still here with him. Was that really too much to ask?
He let out a long breath, trying to calm the whirlwind of emotions swirling within him. He didn't want to be angry, didn't want to be frustrated. But he couldn't help it, couldn't help the surge of protective instincts that came over him every time he thought about how close he had come to losing his mate.
"If you need anything, let us know," Rhys said quietly.
Azriel stiffened at the words, his hands curling into fists at his sides automatically. He knew that Rhys was only trying to be supportive, that he was only trying to offer his help. But Azriel didn't want that. Didn't want his brother's help or sympathy. He just wanted to be left alone with his mate.
He wanted to protect her himself, to take care of her and keep her safe without his brothers' interference. He knew that Rhys only meant well, but that knowledge did nothing to calm his instincts. All he could think about was how close he had come to losing his mate, how close he had come to never seeing her again. And the thought terrified him.
It made his heart clench and his gut twist in fear and pain, his hands clenching tight as he struggled to keep his emotions under control. He didn't want to be vulnerable, didn't want to let his brothers see how much this had affected him. But he knew that it was pointless to try and hide it, that his brothers could probably see the rawness of his emotions written all over his face.
Azriel didn't try to argue with his brother, didn't try to explain himself. He just nodded.
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The 4th - S.H
Pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader
WC: 2.2k
Warnings: SMUT 18+ MDNI NSFW, cursing, drinking, characters are all of age, takes place after the events of ST3, slight exhibitionism only bc they’re technically outside, it’s that slightly awkward but endearing sex you have when you fuck someone you like for the first time. It's realistic. Sue me.
AN: first time writing smut, i'm so nervous. fast times au?? If you squint?? the last half isn't proofread bc i simply cannot bring myself to read my own smut
‘American Woman’ by The Guess Who blares loudly from a twin pair of Hitachi speakers stationed on Steve Harrington’s back deck. On the hottest day of the year, The Party had decided to congregate at the only non-public pool they had unlimited access to.
To his relief, Steve had been assigned to grill duty again. The cherry red bikini you had sauntered through his sliding glass door wearing was starting to seriously inconvenience him. He had his Ray Bans on, albeit low on the bridge of his nose, to disguise where his gaze had been lingering all afternoon; the large propane grill hiding his lower half.
Lounging poolside on your towel, you hear before you feel a large ‘SPLASH’, and suddenly you’re soaked head to toe in overly chlorinated pool water.
“Ugh! Henderson!” you scold as you stand to replace your now drenched towel. The cheeky boy looks up at you from where he floats in the pool and mouths a half-hearted ‘Sorry’.
“Steve! Would you happen to have an extra towel?” you shout to him as you hold up your ruined one, shooting him a deadpan expression. “Yeah, ‘course,” he sets down the grill tongs and awkwardly shuffles his way inside, keeping his back to you. Weird, you think.
Steve caught one look at you, hair wet and dripping, water beading down your neck and disappearing among the curve of your breasts; nipples taught from the sudden shock of cold water and visible through the fabric of your swimsuit, and he was grateful for the reprieve inside would offer him.
After close to 15 minutes of no Steve and more importantly, no towel, you decide to venture into the spacious house yourself. “Steve! – Oh!-” you startle as you run chest to chest into him, both turning a corner. “You scared me,” you say with a hand to your racing heart, “I was just wondering where you went,” you chuckle awkwardly.
“Yeah no, sorry, I just uh- got distracted,” he says, avoiding contact and handing you the fresh linen. You glance down, and notice the slight tent in his maybe too-tight swim trunks. You feel the heat of a rosy blush crawl up your cheeks, and a sudden flip of your stomach. Were you really the reason why he was acting so strange? That felt incredibly presumptuous of you.
“Well um…” you trail off, trying to keep your cool, “thanks. For the towel, I mean.” Steve had never made you feel so bashful and uncertain before. Something about the newly exposed skin and the salty smell of sweat mixed musk that radiates off of him from this proximity making your mind short circuit.
–
When the cookout had dwindled down to just the adults and the sun dipped just below the trees, a joint had started to be passed around your small circle. “Well, we should probably head home,” Nancy announces in her usual demure tone, grabbing Jonathan’s hand helping him to stand. A chorus of goodbyes echo throughout the group, eventually leaving just you, Steve, Robin and Eddie.
An exaggerated yawn escapes Robin as she declares she’s exhausted and needs Eddie to drive her home in his rinky dink van.
“C’mon man! I just rolled this joi-”
Robin cuts him off with a harsh clear of her throat and an even harsher jab to his ribs.
“I. Really think. We. Should. Go.” She punctuates each word with a forced smile. Why was everyone acting so fucking odd today? You try to send her a panicked glance, fearing the potential awkwardness of being left here alone with Steve.
Being best friends with both of you, she was well aware of the searing crushes the two of you had on each other. This barbeque was her opportunity to light a fire under your asses to do something about it.
“That’s okay, Rob. Go home if you’re tired.” Always the gentleman. Right now you could kick him for it. If Robin notices your glaring, she doesn’t acknowledge it as she rises to her feet and heads toward the gate leading to the driveway.
“Bye losers!” She waggles her fingers at you as they make their exit, sending you a subtle wink that sets your cheeks ablaze. You now know without a doubt that this was intentional.
A hand on your knee as he says, “I can walk you home if you want.”
“No, that’s okay. We can finish the joint at least,” you smile timidly at him. Free weed wasn’t easy to come by these days, what was the harm in staying just a little longer?
–
2 hours later, you’re lying shoulder to shoulder on the rough concrete surrounding the Harrington’s pool. The joint had been snuffed out on the ground between you an hour ago, but with your thoughts dulled like this it was becoming increasingly easy to bask in the space you two had created for each other. The desire to turn heel and run with your other friends had long fizzled out.
“Hey, what was up with you today?” you ask after a few minutes of comfortable silence, “You just seemed really off,”
He looks suddenly nervous, “Oh I uh– I don’t know. Julys’ always a weird month for me, I guess,” he lies, carding a hand through his hair.
Taking the hand that’s not in his hair in your own, you ask, “Are you doing okay?” When he turns his head to meet you, your sincerity makes him blush - neck to ears. Your faces are closer than he thought they would be. He can count every eyelash from this proximity.
“Yeah– you know what,” He clears his throat, “I’m actually really warm,” he sits up clumsily as he pulls his shirt over his head by the collar, ruffling his hair and exposing the constellation of freckles and moles he has spattering the skin on his toned back.
“Okay–” You go to stand with him but he’s already dove into the pool. When he breaches the surface, he shakes his hair out like a dog and grins at you. You can’t help your eyes wandering to the dark patch of hair covering his chest. You’re starting to feel that warmth he had been complaining of.
“You gonna come in? Or just stand there and gawk?” He laughs as he floats over to you.
So you peel your shirt off and watch him stare intently as you unbutton your shorts, letting them drop to your feet. A less than elegant swan dive and you’re disappearing under the artificially blue water. The sudden coolness of it shocks you, sobering you up a bit.
You’re much more graceful than the boy when it’s your turn to come up for air, gently pushing back the hair that sticks to your face. He swims over to you unsuspectingly, then in the next breath and with a mischievous grin he lifts your body over his shoulder and essentially bodyslams you back under the surface.
More than the gesture itself, what shocks you the most is the warm expanse of his broad shoulders caressing you. You both emerge laughing, “Asshole!” you swat at his chest playfully.
When the laughter dies and fizzles out into an anxious energy, the air is filled with a sort of anticipation. The two of you are bobbing in the pool, faces no more than an inch apart.
“You have got to stop looking at me like that,” you whisper, breathlessly.
Just then he surges forward and presses his lips firmly to yours. The kiss is close-mouthed and chaste at first, giving you a chance to pull away. When you don’t take the opportunity, he deepens it. Your wet hands move to hold his face, breaching the water with a small splashing sound and his strong arms hug you at the waist, bringing you impossible closer. Pressed up against him like this you can feel all of him. The scratch of curls on his chest, the bulge of his biceps around your middle, the hard length of him pressed against your thigh.
Gasping into the kiss, you give him the opening he needs to lick hotly into your mouth, eliciting a breathy moan from your chest that sends Steve reeling. He starts to slowly kick his legs, swimming to push your back up against a vinyl clad wall.
Your lips move to lick the vein that runs down his neck, then up to a spot just below his ear. He groans when you take his earlobe gently into your mouth. Grasping your cheek in his hand, he forces your face out of the refuge his neck had provided from his intense gaze.
“Can I touch you?” He shudders when he speaks, having dreamt about this exact moment for years. Your response is an enthusiastic nod and another searing kiss to his lips - plush and pink and made for your own.
Steve’s knee moves to rest bookended between your thighs, keeping you open for him. In the water, he can’t feel how pathetically wet you are beneath your bright red bikini bottoms. You’re thankful for that, but even so, the whine that you release when his swift fingers push aside the fabric and start slowly massaging your clit is enough to give you away.
Your grip on his shoulders tightens, leaving small crescent shapes in his perfect skin. “Oh!-- God, keep doing that,” you pant.
“You like that, baby?” Steve tries to sound suave. Mr. Confident. King Steve. Honestly, he’s terrified. He has half a mind to stop and ask you to pinch him, not entirely convinced this is even real. But the sweet, sweet sounds you’re making are enough to persuade him otherwise.
“Yes! Ah– please, don’t stop,” you beg, even though you don’t have to. Steve’s positive he would do just about anything you asked of him right now. You have the sudden urge to return the favor, reaching down between your two bodies and palming him through his swim trunks.
“Oh -- my God, don’t,” he warns, the sheepish smile on his face signals to you that he’s not actually uncomfortable, “I’ll come in my pants like a damn teenager,” he gives an embarrassed chuckle.
Growing desperate for more, you say, “I want you to fuck me.” with an impossible finality. It makes Steve’s breath hitch in his throat.
“Wh-what?” He needs to make sure he heard you correctly.
“Steve. I need you to fuck me. Now.” Your voice is slightly muffled as you begin to press open-mouth kisses to his neck again.
“Oh my God,” The boy sounds absolutely wrecked already, barely able to contain himself. His hands fumble blindly for the ties on your bikini bottoms and he pulls when he finds them. Unwrapping you like his very own Christmas present.
You pull his trunks down and over his hips, just enough to fish his red and swollen cock out, careful to not let them fall to the bottom of the pool lest someone have to dive and retrieve them. You line him up hurriedly with your entrance, but he stops you with a hand on your wrist.
“Are you sure about this?” His brows furrow in that way they always do, when he's unsure. He has a crinkle above his nose.
“Yes” you half moan before getting a look at his face, “Wait, are you?”
“Yes! Yes– of course. I just– want you to be sure,” He kisses you softly after he asks
It’s so tender, you feel so safe with him like this. You fear you might be falling in love.
“I promise, I’m su–Oh!” he slides into you without warning, nearly knocking the breath out of you. He lets out a guttural groan into the space where your shoulder meets your neck as he starts to keep a steady rhythm.
“God, you feel so good,” he pants into your open mouth, “i’ve wanted this for so long,”
His words have you keening. He wraps his broad arms fully around you now, hugging you close as he pistons his hips into you. Repeatedly hitting that spot inside your walls where you need him the most.
“Oh, Steve!” you moan loudly, no longer concerned about the neighbors hearing you. The pool water begins to form waves from Steve’s thrusting and splash up onto the concrete beside your head.
“Fuck, say my name like that again,” you can feel his hips stuttering slightly.
“Steve!” He whines directly into your ear when you say it, you never would’ve thought he’d be so vocal.
“Touch yourself baby, I’m close,”
You do as you’re asked and start to keep a frenzied pace on your sensitive bud. Having both kinds of stimulation, mixed with Steve’s sweet praise, is sending you closer and closer to your edge.
As you reach your high, Steve can feel your warm pussy clench around him, making him hurtle towards his orgasm with you.
With a strangled cry, “fuck- I'm cumming,” You finish together as hips slow and he rides out his orgasm with you. His body curls in on itself and he trembles slightly. You run a warm, soft hand through his hair and down his back, soothing him through the intensity of it.
“Shit- my parents are going to kill me,” he laughs and kisses you again.
Maybe you did like swimming. Just a little bit.
tags: @daisy-munson, @megxplryxb
#steve harrington x reader#stranger things#steve harrington#steve harrington fluff#steve x reader#joe keery#series#steve harrington angst#steve harrington smut#stranger things series#why am i writing summer shit in the fall??#steve harrington imagine#oneshot#drabble#au#stranger things angst#stranger things 4#stranger things 5#steve harrington series#netflix series#smut#djokeery#djotime#djo#joseph david keery
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𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐍 | torture + non-con
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 — art the clown x fem!reader
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 — nsfw, art the clown in general, torture, non-con, slight kidnapping (?), bondage, knife play, blood + blood play, violence, fingering (not sanitary knowing art, wash yall’s hands !!), slight dacryphilia
𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 — foreword, i do NOT condone anything in this fic ! david howard thornton himself actually said art would be against this and i find art a comfort character, this is just for kinktober purposes 😞 if you guys are NOT comfortable with non-con or torture please do not read this, spare yourself the pain please i beg 😭 i will not be upset bruh
you were a force to be reckoned with, that much was evident.
whether it was because you were drunk or with a friend group that made peer pressure feel good, it didn’t matter to the black and white clown you approached at the club. he had been standing there for the past hour or so, staring at you through the split in the crowd.
obviously he had a crush on you. that was what your friend whispered in your ear with a little nudge to your side and a drunken giggle.
your devil costume left very little to the imagination, faux red leather hugging your curves. that had to be it, without a doubt. you had already been getting attention throughout the night, so this was only more fuel to the fire that was your ego.
his costume was detailed to say the least. the fake blood on his costume looked rusty as opposed to the cherry coloring on everybody else’s clothes and faces. he must’ve made it himself.
it took a few more pushes of encouragement until you finally went up to him, wondering why he was unable to take his eyes off of you. it wasn’t flagged as creepy in your fogged mind, rather flattered.
“you’ve got a staring problem, don’t ya?” you shouted over the music with a giggle, leaning against the bar counter for support. your high heels definitely didn’t cheap out on the high part.
looking at him up close definitely made your mind wander a little more. he was much taller than you — likely over six foot — and seemed pretty lanky under that suit. his eyes were a brilliant blue, starkly contrasting the black makeup neatly circled around them, and they couldn’t seem to get away from you. his hooked nose, as well as his entire face, was painted white and had a singular black dot on the tip of it.
something about him piqued your interest, and it only grew when he didn’t answer you. instead, he smiled and tilted his head down, like he was feigning some bashfulness. it was cute. you respected the commitment to the act.
“i don’t suppose you want something from me?” those drinks you had earlier were kicking in, making your confidence soar to unnatural heights. “what’s your name?”
you expected him to drop his little facade and lean in and tell you. but he didn’t. he reached for your wrist and shifted your palm upwards. you were beyond curious, but allowed him into your space.
he dragged his finger across your palm a few times, you piecing the motions together. a-r-t. “art. oh, your name’s art?” the clown nodded with a wide grin.
that wasn’t his last trick, it seemed. from the palm of his hand, he revealed a fake red rose. the synthetic petals were slightly crumpled and stained with drops of something even darker than its natural color.
it was a little corny, but you blushed nonetheless. it was sweet. he gestured for you to take it, so you did.
“hey, let’s get outta here. the music’s making my head hurt.” the second part was a lie, but your motives were relatively pure. you thought that he was only silent because of the volume. maybe the fresh air would make him open up a little bit more.
art nodded a little too eagerly and started moving you towards the door. you could only give your friends a very brief glance, them offering you smiles and raised thumbs before you vanished outside. you would soon wish that they’d kept you inside.
you took in a deep breath of fresh air outside, observing the parking lot. there was not a person in sight. they were all inside. except for you and art.
art. you spun around to see where he had gone and found him hunched over a black trash bag. initially, you were going to pull him away from it, thinking he was digging through waste when he suddenly straightened up and turned towards you. his hands were behind his back.
words got caught in your throat and you found yourself laughing to fill the silence. a wave of anxiety washed over you until art revealed another fake rose. this one was attached to a plastic stem.
but while you graciously accepted his second offering, you failed to notice the bat he had brought down onto the side of your head.
—
you never had a concussion in your life, but you were sure this was what it felt like.
you awoke to a blinding headache and nausea bubbling in your stomach. your vision refused to adjust properly, but you couldn’t miss art’s black and white suit in front of you. your depth perception wasn’t the most reliable, but your body knew to start acting.
you went to kick and scream but found it futile. duct tape muffled your cries, though it was ripped off faster than you could register it was there, and thick rope around your limbs kept you still against the table you were draped over. a few blinks helped you understand your predicament: you had been moved to some sort of warehouse and were tied down to a cold, steel table that had goosebumps prickling on your exposed skin.
your clothes were intact, which made you sigh. one victory.
though you weren’t sure for how long. art hovered over you from the side of the table, his sick grin mocking you as he eyed you from head to toe. it felt like he had already undressed you just by the way he was sizing you up.
that came next. with his one hand that was free, he started to drag his finger down the center of your chest. the closer he got to the low-cut hem of your top, the louder your protests became. art was prepared for that.
he brought a thick chain with several rusted scalpels and medical scissors down onto your legs, creating multiple shallow breaks in your skin. you screamed out. he whipped you again. this time you bit back guttural cries and accepted his hand.
his face screamed disgust and disbelief, like he couldn’t believe that you would ever ask him to stop. the way his creased white face morphed was eerie. it rendered you silent while he unzipped your tiny red corset.
you flinched when it popped open, exposing your tits. you hurried to cover yourself but your arms only moved as far as the rope allowed you to. either way, art flung his chain at the arm closest to him and you had to choke back a scream.
blood seeped from countless wounds, warmth running down and onto the table. you squirmed and cried as much as art allowed you to. he seemed to enjoy your agonized writhing, running dirtied fingertips over your open cuts.
“please, please,” you whined. it was mindless rambling at that point because you knew he wouldn’t.
he had shifted his attention down to your pleather skirt, slowly undoing the zipper on the side. you wanted to kick and fight but you dreaded the idea of getting cut into even worse. so you let him peel it off of you, along with your panties.
“oh god, oh god,” you sobbed, clamping your legs together to keep some of your dignity. art must have been keeping a spare blade tucked in his hand because suddenly he sliced deep into the side of your thigh. you couldn’t help the scream that tore from you, which earned you another gash along your ribcage.
you started to think he was bleeding you dry as slowly as he could. but not after he had his fun first. your body shook underneath his gloved hand as it traveled down your stomach and towards your bare pussy.
part of you thought he was going to force your legs apart and jam as many scalpels inside of you as he could manage, so you resisted when he tried to pry them open. but when he did, after lashing you a few more times, he ran his blood soaked fingertips through your folds, making it slick for him.
it was nauseating at first. but after he pushed two fingers into you, the strange sensation of his fingerless gloves sliding inside, that feeling simmered into pleasure. you choked on a whine, your body fighting the urge to roll your hips into his hand.
your skepticism prevailed the second he slid his blade across your stomach. you cried out, and art felt your cunt squeeze around his fingers. the reaction was satisfactory to him and he gave you a few more markings before deciding you’d had enough for now.
the blade clattered onto the table a moment later and his freed hand went to your breast. you couldn’t deny what it did to you. the pain was beginning to make you delirious and you melted into his touch a few times. you pulled against your restraints but it didn’t get you very far.
for a while, he worked into a steady pace that had you crying out with more pleasure than pain. your cuts stung, but those sharp pains added to your rapidly building orgasm, that was only really accumulating with your eyes closed.
art didn’t seem to appreciate that, quickly finding his blade and carving something into your skin. it tore you out of your momentary tranquility and a scream ripped from your throat. as you did, his other hand curled inside of you and a moan fought to follow. pain and pleasure battled inside of you, and it was sick that the pleasure was threatening to win.
your body twisted to get away from the scalpel in your side but it was to no avail. he cut and sliced until he had crudely carved the word “CUNT” into the fleshy part of the side of your waist. blood oozed out of the deep gashes and art ran his gloved hand through it, smearing it all over your skin. crimson covered your breast as he came up to grab it again.
you got the message to look him in the eyes while you came, which came soon after he added a third finger. how he was able to do it with ease made you sick. you shouldn’t have been enjoying yourself in any way. you would probably need stitches and therapy after this.
but now, all you could focus on was his long fingers. the feel of his fabric white fingerless gloves inside of you, probably soaked with your blood and slick. your gashes burned every time your back arched off of the table but somehow, it intensified the growing fire in your stomach. that tensing of your thighs, the weak thrusts of your hips that attempted to match his.
it amazed you how he was still silent, blue beady eyes focused on you and only you. they started to widen when your moans went pitchy, like he was encouraging you to let go. he didn’t look so scary then. his face went closer to yours, and he was shocked that you didn’t immediately flinch back.
he offered you slow nods as his fingers continued their assault on you. your thighs parted in acceptance and defeat, your orgasm finally crashing into you. moans came out mingled with sobs because it was over.
your mind was spinning, and he granted you a moment to compose yourself before getting back to work. breathy pants quickly turned into raspy screams once more as he swiftly carved something else into the bloodied inside of your thigh:
ART WAS HERE
#art the clown#terrifier#terrifier smut#art the clown terrifier#terrifier art#terrifier art the clown#art the clown x reader#art the clown x you#art the clown smut#horror kinktober#horror smut#slashers#slasher smut
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"hey my friend over there thinks you're cute" ft. genshin characters
characters: wanderer, childe, diluc, alhaitham, xiao, ayato, and kaeya a/n: based by this video!! | but except you're already a couple genre: just fluff and an easy read
wanderer
he just sighed in exasperation, the corner of his lips twitched a little in amusement. “yeah? tell them i’m not interested,” he said. “mean!” you called him out before he grabbed your waist pulling you closer. “i already have a really handful—i mean beautiful lover here with me,” he said with a smirk. “jerk,” you chuckled. “you love me.” he pulled you into a kiss.
childe
“baby you are so cute,” he laughed, slightly leaning his head back. you followed suit with your giggle as he hugged you tight. “but you forgot to add hot, rich, and sexy,” he said. you rolled your eyes, “and very cocky too,” you added with a slight chuckle. “mhm and i think they’d be into that as well.” childe’s eyes twinkled with mischief, kissing your cheek.
diluc
poor diluc just stared at you blankly, not sure what kind of reaction you’re trying to get out of him. however before long he just let out a smile seeing how happy you looked, “i’m not sure if ‘cute’ is the best way to describe me, (y/n).” you laughed. “what are you talking about? you’re the cutest man i’ve ever known,” you said, intentionally exaggerating to get a certain reaction—as diluc blushed. there it is. until he realized it himself, you’ll keep the fact that diluc is so very adorable to yourself. though to be fair, this is a side of him that’s reserved for you and you only.
alhaitham
like diluc, he had a poker face, as if thinking deeply. “are you calling me cute?” he asked finally. you chuckled at the delayed reaction, “yes alhaitham, i am calling you cute.” he seemed to be thinking again, “why can’t you just say it directly?” you pouted at his dull response, “hey let me have my fun once in a while!” alhaitham let out a soft laugh he’s been holding, pinching one of your cheek gently. “you’re cute.”
xiao
he’s just bashful. “you and your antics,” he shook his head as if tired, but his cheeks still painted with the softest pink. you just chuckled as he approached you and took your hands, “are you mad?” you asked with a smile, because there’s no way he is. he squeezed your hand as a response, a soft smile emerged from his face. you and your antics. xiao loves them so much.
ayato
“well have you told them about my amazing lover?” he wrapped his hands around your waist, pulling you close that your face were almost touching. the sudden intimacy made your heart raced faster. “amazing?” you asked playfully, the biggest smile apparent on your face. he kissed it, turning your lips into a grin. “the best.”
kaeya
he just laughed softly. “i’ve never really had someone call me cute.” he approached you, putting a hand on your cheek as he leaned in to kiss you. “but how funny, i find you quite cute too.” you just chuckled at him going along and flirted back. “so how about a date?” he offered his arm as you took it excitedly. “where to, stranger?” you asked, giddy. he gave you another kiss on the forehead. “anywhere you want.”
--
part 2 with other characters maybe?
#genshin x reader#genshin scenarios#genshin impact x you#genshin impact x reader#genshin fanfic#genshin x you#genshin fluff#xiao x reader#alhaitham x reader#ayato x reader#ayato x y/n#ayato fluff#wanderer x reader#wanderer fluff#scara x reader#scaramouche x reader#diluc x you#diluc x reader#xiao x you#childe x reader#tartaglia x y/n#tartaglia x you#tartaglia x reader#kaeya x reader#kaeya x y/n#alhaitham x you#alhaitham fluff
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I Don't Need To Know
Summary: Spencer Reid has no choice but to watch the love of his life fall in love with another man.
CONTENT WARNINGS: 18+ MDNI!! This fic is intended for adult audiences. Major character death. HEAVY angst. Bittersweet ending? Graphic depictions of violence (for maybe two lines). Fingering (f receiving). P in v sex/unprotected sex (in terms of a condom, birth control is mentioned). Loss of virginity (both m and f). Creampie (god I hate that word ugh!!). Slight age gap (roughly five years). Argument scene that may be triggering for readers that have experienced SA or manipulation from a partner (nothing of that nature actually happens, but just in case).
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader
A/N: This is inspired by Will He by Joji, so I highly recommend listening to it while reading. I cried several times while writing this, but I felt it needed to be done so here it is. :’) Please tell me what you think! If you enjoy it, please like, reblog, and share it with your friends! <3 Thank you and I love you all :) (I also ask that my work not be uploaded to other platforms or translated without my explicit permission. Thank you!)
I got knots all up in my chest… Just know, I’m trying my best…
Spencer had always found the saying “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If not, it was never meant to be” absurd. He couldn’t fathom willingly letting go of something he loved on the off chance that it would come back to him. Not after having everything he’d ever loved ripped from his clutches throughout his lifetime. To him, love wasn’t about releasing someone to see if they’d return. It was about holding on as though his very survival depended on it—like a feral cat finally finding food after days of hunger, sinking its teeth in and never letting go, no matter the cost.
It wasn’t until today that Spencer finally understood the meaning of that stupid phrase. And he wished with every intricate thread of his being that he didn’t.
Five years. Five long, agonizing years had passed. So why was he here now? Why, after what felt like an eternity of pleading for just one more moment with her, did the universe decide now was the time to give him what he wanted?
Ironically, the timing only drove home another phrase he’d always hated: “Be careful what you wish for.”
There she was, as beautiful as the day he’d met her, sitting in the corner of what had once been their favorite café. The sunlight streaming through the windows catches on her ring, the enticing glinting of the jewelry drawing his eyes away from her face momentarily. His heart is in his throat. She’s still wearing the wedding ring he’d given her, twisting it in the same nervous fashion she always used to.
And there across from her is a man that isn’t him making her smile.
‘Cause when you look… When you laugh… When you smile… I’ll bring you back…
Spencer Reid had never been a particularly angry man. He had his moments—who didn’t?—but he usually considered himself level-headed, patient. But now, watching Y/N hide a bashful smile behind the rim of her mug as she gazed at the man across from her, all Spencer could feel was rage. Raw, unbridled rage. It flared up inside him as her head tipped back, the sound of her laughter crashing over him like a tidal wave, stirring his veins with a violent rush. The same sound he’d yearned to hear again for five fucking years. And it was all because of him—Ben.
That was his girl. His perfect, beautiful girl. The love of his life. His angel.
All Spencer could do was stand there, feeling every broken shard of his non-existent heart pierce his chest.
And now I’m sad… And I’m a mess… And now we high… That’s why I left… That’s why I left…
It wasn’t meant to be like this. Spencer had never wanted to leave her. But that choice wasn’t his to make.
That cold, cruel September night six years ago had robbed Spencer of his very existence.
Everything that could have gone wrong during that case did. The bullet wasn’t meant for him, but he took it anyway. He had traded his life in exchange for JJ’s. It wasn’t even meant to be heroic. It wasn’t done out of love. It was just instinct. It’s who he was as a person.
Was.
The word leaves a bitter taste in the back of his throat. Because that’s his reality now. He was a person; an agent, a professor, a son, a husband…
Now he’s… well, that he didn’t quite understand. As a man of science, Spencer was stumped by what he could even call his existence now. Calling himself a ghost felt silly—he felt as alive as the day he’d died. And yet, that was essentially what he was. A whisper of the person he’d once been. A soul caught between worlds.
Spencer could still feel the exact moment his soul wrenched free from its physical tether to the world. Even recalling it sent a shiver down his spine. It hadn’t been peaceful, as so many people claimed in interviews. No… it had been agony in its purest form; white hot and searing as his very essence clawed its way out from his ribs. There was no light waiting for him to step into it and find peace.
Instead, he had watched helplessly as the team he called his family swarmed his dead body, uselessly screaming for a medic as the crimson puddle underneath him grew and smeared beneath their hands as they knelt beside him. He had watched Y/N swing open their door that fateful night, the excited grin on her face vanishing as she came face to face with a tearful Emily instead of the husband she’d been eagerly waiting for. And he had watched the guilt eat away at JJ as their eyes met at his funeral, the hatred on Y/N’s face so raw it made Spencer’s own stomach twist.
Despite the Bureau's insistence, she took charge of every detail—planning his funeral in a way that honored everything Spencer would have wanted. Y/N held Diana as she wept over her baby boy's body. She delivered a eulogy that left even Spencer in shambles. She was the first person to arrive and the last to leave, waiting until everyone had left to sink to her knees beside his casket and howl her grievances.
For that first year, Y/N was as strong as she could be during the day. She handled everything that needed to be done, as long as the sun was still up. But when night fell, and the suffocating silence of their empty home settled in… that’s when she’d finally let herself break.
Spencer had never been a religious man, but the year after his death felt like an endless descent into his own personal hell. He would never escape the sound of those gut-wrenching screams. He cursed whatever force had condemned him to an eternity where he could do nothing but watch, powerless as Y/N crumpled to the floor night after night, her wails so desperate it seemed as though she thought breaking the sound barrier might somehow bring him back to life.
All he could do was stay beside her, silently pleading for his touch to somehow reach her, his hands brushing over her again and again, unnoticed and unfelt.
Time was no longer a concept to Spencer.
The limits of his existence perplexed him. He couldn’t roam freely, couldn’t go where he pleased—he could only follow where Y/N went. It was as if his very soul was bound to hers, linked by some invisible string that kept him tied to her even in death. It brought him both joy and sorrow: joy in the fact that he could still watch her, still admire the way she carried on, and sorrow because she would never know he was there, silently urging her forward, so incredibly proud of her strength.
The longer he lingered, the more control he gained over his abilities. It started with the smallest things—a strand of hair lifting with the brush of his fingers, a faint chill against her skin as he cradled her face while she slept. But soon, it became more. Doors creaked open as he stepped into rooms behind her, and objects shifted ever so slightly from their places when he pushed with just enough force.
There were times when she seemed to sense him—moments Spencer cherished more than anything. In those fleeting instances, it felt as though she could see him, even though he knew she couldn’t. Every day, rain or shine, she visited his grave, and when she spoke to him, her gaze would drift forward, as if she were looking into the honey-colored eyes she once loved. Her hands would rest open in her lap, as though she knew he was holding them. When she was home, she’d speak aloud every thought that came to mind, as though she knew he could hear every word that fell from her perfect lips. And he always responded as if she could hear him in return. That was their new life for the first year after his death.
After a year and one day, he was gone.
That’s where his understanding of the phrase “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If not, it was never meant to be” came from. It was because she had set him free.
One whole year had passed. The hardest year of Y/N’s life. She had knelt by his grave, laying fresh flowers with trembling hands, her tears falling freely for hours. When she finally stood to leave, her legs unsteady beneath her, she pressed a soft kiss to his headstone. Through her tears, she whispered how much she missed him, how he never left her thoughts, and how she’d never stop loving him—but above all, she wished he could be at peace. And on the night following the anniversary of his passing, her wish was granted. He had faded into nothingness, existing only in her dreams and memories for five long years.
But now, he was back. Because he had always been hers.
Will your tongue still remember the taste of my lips? Will your shadow remember the swing of my hips?
Spencer remembered their first time like it was yesterday, though he wasn’t sure if he could thank his eidetic memory or the fact that it was because of how remarkable it had been for the memory lingering so vividly...
“You’re lying! You’ve really never had sex before?”
Y/N squawked the words incredulously as she sat atop Spencer’s lap, grinning down at the stammering mess of a man beneath her. Spencer’s hands flexed against her hips, unintentionally squeezing as he took a deep breath to calm himself.
They were inside Spencer’s apartment, having enjoyed the museum and dinner but still craving each other’s company too badly to end the night there. What started as sweet, innocent pecks pressed up against the kitchen counter had quickly devolved into ravenous, passionate kisses that had them stumbling towards the couch. It was going so well… until Spencer panicked after Y/N had whispered into his ear asking how far he wanted things to go.
That resulted in him spewing out the fact that he, at twenty-six years old, was a virgin.
“No, I haven’t! Why is that so hard to believe?” Spencer huffs, his small smile belying his annoyed tone.
It was their sixth date total in a span of four months, but it was their first date as an actual couple. Spencer had reluctantly agreed to let Penelope set him up on a blind date after his failed attempt at taking JJ out had shattered any of the confidence he’d built up, leaving the man petrified of taking his chances romantically again. He suspected Penelope’s pity for him was why she was setting up said date to begin with, but he quickly found himself grateful that he went.
Y/N had been friends with Penelope for years, having bonded online over some indie punk rock band that was no longer around and developing a close friendship from there despite their age difference. When Penelope found out Y/N had moved to Virginia and was single, she couldn’t resist setting the two up.
It’s Y/N’s turn to stammer as she quickly thinks of a response. “I, uh… you’re just so handsome that I naturally assumed you’d had sex before.”
Spencer blinks up at her skeptically, trying to detect even the faintest clue that the otherworldly woman in his lap was lying to him. All he found was nervous adoration as she stared back down at him, her cheeks flushed a beautiful shade of pink. It suited her. He wanted to cause it more often.
“I had, um… I graduated super early from both high school and college, so I didn’t do much dating.”
Instead of the judgment Spencer expected to see spread across her face, Y/N simply just hummed in understanding, her eyes curious as they watched him. He’d elaborate more on his unfortunate (for lack of a better term) adolescence later. For now, he just wanted to keep from scaring the poor girl off of his lap so he could taste her sweet chapstick again.
“I see…” Y/N murmurs before continuing, shifting forward slightly with a smirk. “I’ll let you in on a little secret. I’m also a virgin.”
Spencer’s eyes widened almost comically as he gawked up at her. His heart stutters in his chest, his mouth going dry. His tongue pokes out in a meek attempt at wetting his lips, his voice cracking as he responds.
“Et tu, Y/N?”
Oh fuck. Spencer hadn’t meant to let the lame reference slip from his mouth. She just made him so nervous that he couldn’t think straight, and Rome had been heavily on his mind since she had perched herself in his lap. Specifically Roman goddesses, because she looked like she should be amongst them on their thrones. Surely she was going to leave now—-
Loud, genuine laughter bubbles from Y/N’s lips, the noise startling Spencer as she tips her head back and her hands grip his shoulders to stabilize herself. She thought it was funny. She thought he was funny.
“That’s, like, the last thing I expected you to say,” Y/N managed once her laughter had simmered down into giggles. “But, to answer your question… I too have really never had sex before.”
Spencer knew that it wasn’t due to a lack of suitors. The woman was sex personified; the archetype of beauty and seduction wrapped into one perfect being. The twitching in his pants brought his attention back to the situation at hand. He could ask her later why that was. For now, he brought his focus back to her.
In an uncharacteristically bold move, Spencer tilted his head up to brush their noses together. “Would you… would you want to?”
It didn’t take a profiler to notice the hitch in her breath or the almost imperceptible squeezing of her thighs around his hips. Her pupils were already blown, her lower lip trembling from what Spencer prayed was anticipation and not regret as his question settled over her. The silence stretched between them, the seconds feeling like hours in Spencer’s overly anxious mind.
He’d done it now. He’d gone off and opened his stupid mouth and frightened the one woman he could actually see himself having a future with because the head straining against his zipper overruled the head housing his supposed genius level IQ. The apologies were already forming in the back of his throat, but they weren’t needed because she— she was kissing him?
“God, yes. Please,” Y/N murmured eagerly against his lips, effectively clearing every cohesive thought from his brain.
If Spencer thought her words were enough to bring upon his undoing, he was sorely mistaken. The grinding of her hips against his erection ignited something inside of him that he had no idea existed. It was feral, drowning out all of his other emotions and replacing them with one thing: primal, unfiltered desire.
Spencer understood now why men used to start wars over women.
With each gasp that fell upon his ears, Spencer pledged his allegiance to her. Every stuttered moan that came into existence from his hips rutting up into her clothed core fueled his devotion to her. It was animalistic, the way his hands gripped her ass and pulled her tighter against his body as his mouth devoured her now, every cell swimming through his veins screaming for more. More of her touch, more of her taste, more of her sounds... God, those heavenly sounds that had Spencer finally believing in salvation, if only in the form of her skin against his.
Tongues danced together as layers were hastily stripped away. Layers of insecurity. Layers of self-doubt. Layers of uncertainty. Their clothes fell to the ground as though the fabric burned them, clumsy hands fidgeting with buttons and tugging at zippers with a vendetta.
Those layers that had crumbled so easily were replaced instead with the firm knowledge that this was exactly where they were meant to be: in each other’s arms, trembling and panting as their world’s trajectory tilted so violently it uprooted them from their upright position, knocking them down against the leather cushions as their bodies attempted to mend their separated souls back into one.
Spencer choked on the words he wanted to worship her with, so instead he used the most primitive sense he could to get his message across: touch. His lips sucked purpling reminders into the crook of her neck of what they both knew to be true now: He is hers just as much as she is his. Lithe fingers tugged the soaked fabric of her lace panties down until they landed in a heap with their other clothes. Those same fingers pause at the crest of her most intimate spot, his eyes meeting hers with a silent plea.
Y/N found herself in the same position, her words failing her as they were strangled in her throat by the overwhelming adoration she felt for the man hovering above her. Instead of chanting her desire for Spencer to please touch her, she canted her hips up in approval.
Her moans were swallowed by swollen lips that claimed the sound straight from her body as nimble fingers dug themselves into the deepest parts of her. Their rhythm was clumsy but steadfast, her hips bucking against his hand in jerky movements as the palm of his hand pressed against her clit. Spencer’s own hips ground against the bare skin of her thigh, shielded only by the immature fabric of his equation-covered boxers.
Spencer hadn’t for a second thought the night was going to go like this. If he had known he’d have the definition of art itself clawing at his shoulders and panting into his mouth while he made her legs tremble beneath him, he wouldn’t have worn what he deemed his lucky boxers. At least they had done their job, he supposed.
Their lips separated completely as a guttural moan wrenched its way from Y/N’s throat, her body beginning to thrash wildly underneath him as the tension in her lower belly coiled tighter. Spencer wouldn’t allow her first time to happen on his couch. She was much too precious for that. But he’d already made the decision to unravel her at least once while they were there, to bring her over the edge before taking her into his bedroom so that he could experience the glorious sight of her falling apart more than once tonight.
Spencer was a virgin, not a prude. He’d seen porn before. He’d read erotic novels. Anything he could use to try to prepare himself for the real experience, he did. But nothing could have prepared him for the downright visceral reaction Y/N had as his fingers curled and brushed against the rough patch of skin inside of her that caused the tension building in her body to snap. Her cries of pleasure tore through him as her pussy clenched around his fingers, his free hand leaving its place beside her head to keep her thighs pried open. He quickly shifted up onto his knees to watch her taking his fingers as she came, taking the pleasure he inflicted upon her.
He sang her praises while slowing his pace, cooing softly at her as he stroked her hair and worked her through the aftershocks of her orgasm. Only when she was squirming and whining beneath him did he finally remove his fingers, sucking them into his mouth greedily. Y/N’s mouth gaped open as her chest heaved, her eyes locked on Spencer as his tongue lapped over his fingers, enjoying her essence with a groan. Her body sagged into the couch, a delighted laugh spilling from her exhausted frame as she smiled up at him, her eyes twinkling in the dim light of his living room.
“Do you still want to keep going?” Spencer breathed as he gazed down at her, his cheeks flushed and eyes full of something that made Y/N's heart flutter. “B-because we can stop there if you want. I just… I want to do what makes you happy.”
Above her was the man she’d recognized, soft and timid, but now with a newfound air of confidence in his eyes that hadn’t been there before. Above her was the man that she wanted more than anything. Above her was the man that she knew, without a shadow of doubt, would be her husband.
“Spencer… if you don’t fuck me right now, then I’ll die a virgin, right here on your couch... and it will be all your fault.”
Spencer’s hearty chuckles filled the room, his nose twitching as he grinned down at the dramatic woman. He simply couldn’t let that be her fate, could he?
Shaking his head, he stooped down to press a gentle kiss to her nose before standing from the couch, offering her his (clean) hand. Y/N’s face twisted in confusion as she stared up at him, still reeling from the earth-shattering orgasm surprisingly given to her by the same man who’d eagerly rambled about the lore behind Doctor Who on their first date when she’d mentioned she hadn’t seen it.
“Not here, silly girl. The bedroom,” He whispered.
He guided her down the dark hallway as though he were escorting the most priceless treasure known to man to his bed, and in his eyes, he was. His hand stayed steady on her hip as she swayed lightly, her body pressed into his side as he opened the door with shaky hands. Any confidence Spencer had managed to muster throughout the night vanished as they crossed the threshold into his bedroom, his teeth gnawing at his lower lip gently as his courage began to crack.
In an almost startling display of being seen, something Spencer had never experienced before, Y/N looped her arms around his neck and tugged him into a kiss that simultaneously stole the breath from his lungs and filled him with the air he needed to breathe again, effectively calming his nerves.
“It’s okay,” She reassured him against his lips. “It’s just me.”
She walked them backward until the backs of her knees pressed into his cool comforter, taking over where Spencer so willingly handed her the reigns while he regained his momentum. She sat on the edge of his bed, her hands pressed into his hips to keep him from following after her. Her eyes met his, the moonlight streaming through his bedroom window illuminating her as though she were a vision, a figment of his imagination that he’d conjured up in the dead of night, ready to haunt his every waking moment once he inevitably woke up to an empty bed. She was too good to be true.
Spencer’s hands fell to rest on her shoulders, just to give himself proof that Y/N was real and that he hadn’t dreamed her up or somehow followed in his mother’s footsteps and succumbed to early onset schizophrenia.
She was real and she was here, eye level with the tent in his boxers and naked as the day she was born, her warm breath fanning across the smattering of hair trailing down from his belly button to below his underwear. His muscles tensed and twitched as she smirked up at him, pressing a tender kiss to the head of his cock through the thin fabric. His entire body flinched from that one touch, his brows furrowing together as he hissed quietly.
“N-not that I wouldn’t love to feel your mouth on me—“ Spencer’s pitch raised as her hands found the elastic of his waistband, pulling his boxers down his legs. “But I… I won’t last if you do.”
The fondness in her eyes quelled any humiliation he felt from having uttered those words.
Placing a kiss to his hip, she nodded in understanding before shuffling backwards to lay in the middle of his bed, with him kneeling onto the mattress after her. The sight of her— stretched out and languid and looking at him as if she wanted to ravage him— had him sending up a silent ‘thank you’ to whatever in the universe had deemed him worthy enough of having this divine of a woman in his life.
As Spencer reaches for his nightstand to grab a condom, Y/N stammers, grabbing his attention. He watches for a moment as she flounders over her words, his brow furrowing in concern at her sudden diffidence.
“Are you sure you still want to do this?”
“I’m on birth control if you want to skip the condom!”
Spencer inhales sharply at the same time she smiles sheepishly up at him, her blurted words almost making him finish before they’d even started. He holds her gaze, tracing her irises for any hint of hesitancy. When he finds none, he nods once, swallowing hard.
“I— uh. Um...”
It was rare that Spencer Reid was rendered speechless, but Y/N had managed to do it with just eleven words. He clears his throat, trying again.
“Yes. Yes, I would like to skip the condom. Only if you’re absolutely sure that’s what you want.”
“Yes. It is. I pinky promise.”
Y/N holds up her pinky for him, the sight so endearing he can practically feel his heart melt away, dripping in a sticky mess inside him. He just grins, linking his pinky with hers before he moves to settle over her once more.
Her fingers tangle themselves in his hair as his elbows dig into the mattress beside her ribs. The flushed head of his cock bumps against her clit as he reaches down to line himself up at her entrance, a small whine leaving her lips at the sensation. He repeats the action, dizzy from the sound of her soft noises. She was still soaked from their time on the couch, a small feeling of pride welling in Spencer’s chest at the knowledge that not only did he make her cum, but he’d kept her wet while they made it here.
His lips meet hers in a searing kiss, the both of them quivering with anticipation at giving themselves so intimately to someone for the first time. He was happy it was her. And she was happy it was him.
Spencer couldn’t remember a time where his mind had ever been quiet. All he knew was incessant thoughts and worries, unable to put a halt to the chaos jumbling around his brain. But as he pressed forward and sunk into Y/N for the first time, his entire mind went blank. White static crowded the spaces where various facts and tidbits of information had been stored, the only thing he was able to focus on now being the sheer ecstasy coursing through his body from being inside of her.
His mouth hung open as his eyes rolled back into his head, his hips stilling as they pressed flush against hers. She mirrored his response, squeaking out an “oh!” as her walls fluttered around the intrusion instinctively. He throbbed in response, his head dropping to rest in the crook of her neck, unable to stop the pitiful whimper that escaped from behind clenched teeth.
She was so tight. So wet. So warm.
Sparks of pleasure zinged up and down his spine as he remained still, waiting patiently for Y/N to adjust to both his size and to the feeling of being filled for the first time in general. He’d wait as long as she needed him to. All he wanted was for her to feel good. To enjoy this as much as he was.
He was a humble man, truly. But even he wasn’t too shy to admit he’d been gifted with a size that was bigger than average. Not necessarily just in length, falling just shy of seven inches, but in girth as well.
Spencer peppered soft kisses up and down her flushed skin, feeling her rapid pulse beneath his lips. He was sure she could feel his own heartbeat pounding against his ribs from where their bare chests were pressed together. Her nipples were taut, pressing into his skin enticingly. He wanted to touch them. Taste them. But he’d wait until she was ready. He didn’t want to overwhelm her.
At her gentle nod, Spencer lifted his head to press his forehead against hers, their lips brushing together as he pulls his hips back. The sensation of her grip tightening in his hair as he pushed forward does more to him than he’d care to admit, but he still lets her hear just how affected he is by her. With a shaky moan, Spencer repeats the motion, easing out of her before gently rocking back into her. He keeps this up for a few minutes, her sharp breaths dissolving into muted moans of her own.
“You can— you can move faster if y-you want.”
Spencer’s eyes flutter shut at her words, and he’s pressing a fervent kiss to her lips before he begins to really move. The sound of skin smacking together begins to fill the air as he ruts his hips into hers, his walls bearing witness to every pleasured noise that spills between them. His pace is frenzied, his rhythm stuttered, but it feels so good that neither of them really care.
Y/N’s nails roamed his body now, alternating between dragging harsh lines into the planes of his back and burying into his shoulders to leave little tender half moons in their wake. Spencer yearned to pull every single noise that he could from her throat, planting his hands beside her head and hefting himself up for better leverage before his lips wrapped around her right nipple. He sucks harshly at the pert bud, reveling in the desperate whimper it causes.
Spencer grunts when she clenches around him, letting his mouth glide over to her neglected breast, his hips hammering into hers now as she cries out his name over and over. He was close… so, so close. But he needed to make her cum one more time before he’d allow himself to. He needed to know what it felt like for her to fall apart around his cock. With every ounce of willpower he had, Spencer slows his hips to a stop inside of her.
Y/N whined her discontent at his sudden pause, her eyes opening to blink hazily up at him. “Why’d you… why’d you stop?” She panted, her fingers finding and twisting her own nipples as if she couldn’t help but to touch herself.
Spencer muffled a curse at the sight, sitting back on his haunches as he stared down at the woman beneath him with reverence.
“Flip onto your stomach for me, angel.”
She does as instructed, wiggling her hips coyly as Spencer grabs a pillow from the head of the bed and stuffs it underneath her hips to prop her up better, ensuring she’d be comfortable. Once she’s settled on her front, Spencer wasted no time in pressing himself back into her, both of them releasing a moan so loud he’s surprised the walls don’t shake. Thank God he didn’t have neighbors right now.
He eased himself down so his chest is pressed to her back, lavishing her neck and shoulder in open mouthed kisses while his hips drilled into her. This angle was deeper, allowing him to plow directly into her g-spot as she writhed and begged incoherently beneath him. He laced his left hand with hers, shoving them into his mattress. His other hand stuffed itself between the pillow and her wriggling body until the pads of his fingers found her clit, his breath coming out in sharp pants into her ear.
Y/N felt delirious with pleasure, bucking her hips back in a feeble attempt to meet his. He began whispering into her ear about how good she felt around him, thanking her for allowing him to fuck her, praising her for taking him so well…
His words paired with his fingers circling her clit have her second orgasm ripping through her body with so much ferocity that tears begin to fall down her cheeks, her eyes squeezing shut and her hand clutching his so tightly her knuckles whitened as she wailed into a pillow, gushing around him.
Spencer let out his own guttural moan at the feeling, spilling into her with a shout as he planted his head between her shoulder blades, his hips weakly thrusting into her as they rode out their climaxes.
He held her until her tremors stopped. He kissed her forehead before he darted off to the bathroom to get a warm rag to clean her with. He thanked her in soft whispers as her eyes began to drift shut before he’d even finished cleaning his mess between her thighs.
And he knew, watching the gorgeous woman before him sleep so soundly in his bed after they’d just defiled each other’s innocence, that he was looking at his future wife.
Will your lover caress you the way that I did? Will you notice my charm if he slips up one bit?
The air was thick with tension as Y/N stared at Ben, her chest heaving and eyes watering at the hurt look on his face. Spencer watched from the corner, his concern for his wife outweighing the jealousy he had previously felt when he watched the couple slip into her— though he still selfishly thought of it as their— bed. Y/N had been dating Ben for three months now. That made for three months that Spencer ached so heavily he’d sometimes wish he could fade back into nothingness if it meant he didn’t have to watch the love of his life with another man.
The furthest Ben and Y/N had gone physically was a few pecks here and there, with Y/N always being the one to draw away and cut the kisses short. Ben had played the nice guy act, reassuring her that he understood her hesitance and that he’d be okay doing whatever she was comfortable with. Spencer despised him. He could see right through Ben’s facade, and if he could do more than nudge a door open, he’d make that hatred known. But he couldn’t.
Spencer watched on with furrowed brows as Y/N reached a shaky hand over and turned the lamp on her nightstand on, illuminating the dark room in a soft glow that contrasted with the dark energy that began to cloud the small space. Spencer could see it all on Ben’s face: hurt, betrayal, anger. He could see the fear, guilt, and shame on Y/N’s.
This was the first night Y/N had tried to push past her discomfort so that she could offer Ben more than just false promises of physical intimacy. It started slow, with soft kisses that dissolved into hungrier ones as they laid together in the dark. But the second Ben went to roll on top of her, sliding a hand down her body to pull her hips against his, she panicked. Her body jolted, and her hands had shot out instinctively to shove him off of her, leaving them where they were now in some sort of silent standoff.
Spencer knew as soon as it had happened just why it did. She had thought of him. His guilt overruled the smug pleasure he’d felt as he watched it unfold. As painful as it had been watching Y/N move on with her life, all he ultimately wanted was for her to be happy. Spencer had been barely thirty-five when he passed, and she had only been thirty. That left almost an entire lifetime ahead for her, and even though he so desperately wanted to have lived that lifetime with her, he had to accept that that wasn’t what fate had in store for them.
“I-I’m sorry-”
“What the fuck is your problem?”
Spencer’s jaw tightened at the same time Y/N’s dropped.
“Excuse me?” Y/N leveled Ben with a narrowed glare, rage flashing in her eyes in place of the shame that had just been there.
“I get that you have a dead husband. I’ve tried to be patient with you. But fuck! It's been six years, Y/N. It’s time for you to move on,” Ben seethes, his face reddening with a mixture of embarrassment and anger. “I can’t even touch you without you flinging me off of you!”
It’s as though Y/N is the exact physical embodiment of Spencer’s own emotions, physically reacting in the way that he can’t. She was out of the bed before Spencer could even blink, marching over to the bedroom door and yanking it open. Ben watches in bewilderment, his mind clearly not catching up with what was happening.
“Get out of my fucking house.”
Y/N’s voice is cold as she stares menacingly at Ben. When he doesn’t move, she speaks again, her voice louder. “Get out of my fucking house, Ben!”
Ben stammers, standing from the bed and attempting to plead his case. “Babe, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that, I just-”
“I don’t care. Get out of my house,” Y/N repeats herself, cutting off his pathetic excuses.
Spencer smirks proudly from beside her.
That’s his girl.
Ben sighs, hanging his head and scrubbing his hands frustratedly across his face.
“If you kick me out over some guy that’s been dead for six years, then we’re over. For good.”
Spencer cackles at Ben’s proposition, though it can’t be heard by either party in the room. That was his attempt at fixing things? Seriously? Good riddance. He’d drag the guy out of there himself if he could.
“If I haven’t made myself clear, we’re already over. No one talks about my husband like that. Now get out before I call the police and have you escorted off of my property.”
It doesn’t take long after that for Ben to tuck his tail and leave, slamming the front door on his way out. Y/N’s steam runs out the second his car pulls out of her driveway, tears streaming down her face as she curls up on her couch.
Spencer’s own chest twinges uncomfortably as he sits beside her, stroking her hair despite her inability to actually receive the comfort. He didn’t know what hurt more; watching his beautiful, broken girl sob and not being able to stop her tears, or being the cause of the tears himself. He had to do something, anything to let her know he was still there and that he still loved her beyond death.
The same time Spencer stands is the same time Y/N’s tears pause, a hiccup rocking her frame before she glances up.
“Spence?” Y/N calls softly. Spencer’s heart would have stopped right there had he not already been dead.
Spencer turns slowly from his place at the end of the couch, his eyes wide and hopeful as he responds. “Yes, angel?”
His hope fades as he realizes she isn’t looking at him, rather her eyes are just darting around the room.
“Spencer I… I know it’s been awhile since I’ve talked to you. And for that, I’m so sorry,” Y/N starts, her voice cracking. “I don’t know if you can even hear me. Or if you ever could. But I miss you. I miss you in my bones. I just… you were— are my everything.”
The lump in her throat grows as the tears begin to stream down her face again. Spencer’s own eyes sting with tears that she’ll never see drip down his face. He swallows hard, making his way over to their— yes, their— bookshelf.
“I’d give anything to have you back in my arms… I should have begged you to leave the BAU and just teach full-time if it meant I could still have you here, safe and at home. It’s not even a home without you.”
Y/N sobs freely now, tucking her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them before she buries her head into them.
Every ounce of grief, guilt, sadness, and anger from what his death has done to his precious girl fuels Spencer to do something he deemed impossible: he yanks the leatherbound notebook holding their vows inside of it off of the bookshelf, sending it tumbling to the ground in a desperate attempt to show her that he’s still there and that he still loves her.
The noise causes a yelp to slip from Y/N’s lips, her head jerking up as the book hits the hardwood floor with a loud thump. It had fallen open exactly to where Spencer wanted it to: the page starting his vows to her.
Y/N crawled from the couch to the book, her trembling hands lifting the journal so that she can read the words her husband wrote to her ten years ago. With a deep exhale, she sits cross-legged on the hardwood floor, reading Spencer’s chicken scratch he called handwriting with a heavy heart. And for the first time since his casket closed, she feels a sense of peace wash over her. She was going to be okay, despite it all, because he was hers just as much as she was his.
Continued A/N: Ahh!! Ghost!Spencer my beloved. :') JUST TO CLARIFY: I am not a JJ hater!! It just fit better for the story to have her be the one this all happened for. I hope you guys enjoyed reading this fic just as much as I enjoyed writing it. I look forward to sharing more in the future with you as my blog grows <3
K <3
#spencer reid#spencer reid smut#criminal minds smut#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fanfiction#matthew gray gubler smut#mgg smut#virgin!Spencer reid#virgin!reader x virgin!Spencer reid
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Plot: When you decide to show your friend San the costume you aren't so sure about, you get a lot more than you were expecting.
Prompt: "Stop staring at me like that." "If you didn't want me to stare, you shouldn't have worn that."
Pairing: Best Friend!Choi San x Gn!Reader (Friends to Lovers)
Warnings: A bit suggestive throughout. I tried my best not to be too descriptive about body type or gender but it might not be perfectly gender neutral, I apologize. Slight mentions of self-esteem issues, or body-image issues, reference to low confidence.
A/N: Don't go into this expecting too much lol, you have been warned.
Words: ~1.8k
Most years when it came to Halloween, you played it relatively safe. Choosing a famous character that matched your vibe. But you got bored of it, plus you were running out of characters you could pass for.
After some convincing, one of your friends persuaded you to dress up as a character from a show you both watched. They were also going to be a character from said show, so you wouldn't be alone.
The only problem was the costume of said characters was somewhat....revealing. Parts of the costume were cut to expose random areas of your body, and though none were too risqué, the costume itself hugged your figure in a way that left nothing to imagination.
You were uncertain if it suited you, or if you would be comfortable overall. The friend who suggested was no help in making you feel better, as they had already gotten excited about you being said character.
You had tried the costume on a few times, and every time you remained uncertain if it suited you. Was it the color? The overall vibe? Did it just not suit your body type?
When the topic of costumes came up with another one of your best-friends, San, you mentioned to him you weren't feeling too confident about the costume your friend gave you.
"I mean, I like it, but...it's not like anything I've worn before. I don't know if it suits me really."
Glancing at San who nodded along, understanding, but not fully knowing your predicament. He smiled softly, "Can I see it on you? Maybe I can help you decide?"
You perked up a bit at this, though you were a bit bashful about it too. "Would that be okay?"
He nodded with a bright smile before you hummed.
"Okay!" You rose before looking back at him, "It'll take a bit for me to put it on."
He chuckled and nodded, "No rush."
It seemed like a good idea at first, San was always helpful and always honest with you. But as you put the costume on you remembered just how it looked on you and you began to regret asking him to look at it.
San had never seen you in anything really revealing or figure hugging, not that he would care, he was one of your closest friends. But he was also the guy you had a crush on for ages. And even if he didn't care what you looked like in the costume, you began feeling timid.
Would he think you looked bad? You felt your chest clench a bit at this thought. That would definitely not help your confidence. You weren't sure if you wanted this now.
"Is everything okay?" You heard San's voice come from outside the door.
You let out a soft sigh. "Yeah! One second!"
You had finished putting the costume on but felt apprehensive about showing San. Taking a deep breath, deciding it would be too weird for you to suddenly change your mind, you walked out of the bathroom.
San was looking down at his phone and waiting for you patiently at the edge of your bed. Hearing you come out, his eyes shot up to see you, but what he saw was nothing like what he was expecting.
His heart seemed to stop all together as his breath caught in his throat. He was sure he looked stunned as he stared at you, unable to look away.
San always thought you looked great, no matter what you wore, but seeing you like this was more than he ever expected or could wish for.
The costume accentuated every part of you he often caught himself staring at. Various patches of your skin were exposed, and San felt his ears burning hot at the sight.
It took you a moment to gain the confidence to look at San's reaction. When you did you weren't expected to see him slack-jawed and stunned.
Was it a good thing? A bad thing? Was the costume too much?
When his eyes started raking over your body slowly, you felt a shiver run up your spine as you felt almost naked. You felt shy under his gaze, the look on his face something you had never seen.
You let out a nervous chuckle, "San, stop staring at me like that."
San's eyes finally rose to your face, and he saw the way his stare made you react. You were nervous and shy under his gaze.
'Cute.'
"If you didn't want me to stare, you shouldn't have worn that."
"Wh- but- I" You looked down at yourself. "You told me to try it on! To help me decide if I should wear it"
"Don't."
Your eyes shot back to him, only to see him staring at your body again. "What?"
"Don't wear it."
You looked back down at yourself, your chest tightening a bit. Was it really that bad? Or maybe he was feeling protective?
"Does it look that bad?"
Through San's struggle to keep his composure, the tone of your voice caught him off guard. Paying attention to your gaze as you turned and looked in the mirror, he realized his mistake. He was making you insecure.
He stood up, "That's not what I meant."
You looked back at him, "Then it just doesn't suit me?"
San let out a shaky breath as he desperately raked his eyes over you again before swallowing harshly. As you shuffled on your feet anxiously, he clenched his eyes shut.
"That's also not what I mean."
"Then why shouldn't I wear it?"
He opened his eyes again and took a step closer to you. Your hands absentmindedly rose to your chest out of nerves and he wondered if you were feeling as....tense as he was.
You noticed his almost darkened gaze as he stared at you again. You swallowed nervously as he stepped closer.
"It suits you....too well."
"Too well?"
He nodded and you noticed the way he swallowed before he licked his lips and spoke again. "You look great. Amazing even, and I... don't want others to see you like this."
Another step forward and he was mere inches from you. You could practically feel the heat radiating off of him as his eyes cast down to your body again. Your breath caught in your throat. What exactly did he mean? What was he thinking?
"I-" slowly, he lifted his arm, as his hand hovered above the exposed skin of your shoulder. "I want to be the only one to see you like this. I want to keep it to myself."
His voice was low, almost raspy, a shiver coursed through you as you heard it. Slowly his eyes lifted and locked with yours. The look in his gaze was almost dangerous, and it took your breath away.
"Why?"
"I don't want anyone to try and steal you from me. I want you to be mine."
You swallowed nervously; San didn't fail to notice it. He took another step closer, until your chests were almost touching. His face was close to yours and you nervously met his eyes.
"What are you doing?"
"I want you to understand why I'm saying these things."
You almost jolted as you felt San's hand suddenly grab your waist, his hands touching your bare skin were the costume revealed it. His hands gripped your waist as he pulled you against him.
His eyes stared deeply into yours as he inched closer.
"San?" Your voice was a whisper, barely heard.
"I've always wanted to keep you all to myself, but I thought it was too selfish. But this. Letting other's see you looking like this, seeing parts of you only I should see. I can't stand it. So, let me be selfish this time. Please."
Your breath wavered as San inched closer, his lips almost grazing yours as his eyes held a desperation you couldn't miss.
"Please?" He repeated, his voice soft, barely heard.
Your mind was fuzzy as your stomach swirled, warmth encasing you. You were unable to speak, so you just nodded your head.
Before you could even process your action, San's lips were against yours. His arm wrapped around you in a desperate attempt to bring you closer. One hand now held the back of your head, the kiss was deep, passionate.
As his tongue met your lips, asking for entrance, you obliged, almost gasping at his actions as he pressed you up against the wall as the kiss became almost sloppy. His fingers intertwined with your hair as his body pressed against yours.
San, managing to get some form of grip on himself, pulled away, his breathing heavy as he rested his forehead against yours. Opening his eyes he looked at your breathless figure. Slowly you opened your own eyes, as your gazes locked.
Bringing his hand to your face he gently caressed your cheek. "I'm sorry. I just- lost control a bit." He gently caressed your lightly swollen lips with his thumb. "It's been so hard repressing my feelings for you. I've always wanted you so badly, and today, seeing you..." He let out a soft chuckle, "I just couldn't hold it in any longer."
You smiled softly, "How long exactly? Have you felt like this."
"A few years, at least."
Your heart was racing as your chest clenched. All this time, you felt the same way, both of you unknowingly repressing shared feelings. Hurting yourselves and each other by never making it known.
"Then I'm sorry too." You said softly and he frowned, "Because I've been hiding it for just as long."
San stared at you for a second before a smile slowly spread across his face as he let out a soft chuckle.
"I guess we have a lot to make up for."
You nodded softly with a smile and San peered down at your figure again. He hissed as he let out a staggered breath, biting his lip. Your ears burned as he stared, your heart racing.
Bringing his hand down, he gently trailed his hand down your stomach before he hooked his finger under the cloth where it exposed your side.
Meeting your eyes again he spoke with an almost hungry tone. "Are you going to wear this?"
You bit back a grin, "I suppose I can find something else."
He smiled and tilted his head as he leaned in closer to you again, his lips hovered over yours. "Good."
You wish you had taken a breath before he kissed you again. You could tell from the way his hands hungrily gripped you as he pushed you against the wall again, his lips never breaking contact, that this was going to last a while.
xx End xx
A/N: I have written some fluff, some humor and a little spooky. So I thought I would write something a bit suggestive to throw in as well lol. Hope you liked it!
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"She asked for no pickles" with the JJK men if you would like?
characters (all written separately): nanami x reader ; gojo x reader ; choso x reader
warnings: fem!reader , mentions of food , pickles , swearing , gojo being weird , light angst (choso)
w/c: 1.5k (roughly 500-600 words each character)
a/n: this was really fun to write, so thank you sm for sending a request in !! i kinda deviated from the brief a little, so i hope you don't mind too much :)) i hope you all enjoy it and let me know what you think !! ive also decided to split it into 2 parts since it was getting really long.
part 1 (nanami ; gojo ; choso) ; part 2 (toji ; geto ; sukuna)
𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈. 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎 ::
"sweetheart what's wrong? why aren't you eating?"
your husband’s concerned voice pulled you out of your reverie. you sighed, weighing up your options, trying to decide whether it was worth telling kento your problem or not.
it was supposed to be a cute day out for you both, first going to an art museum which had a special exhibition you were both dying to see. then deciding to visit a nearby park with freshly baked bread, feeding your beloved husband a bite, and then the ducks.
now you were both currently sitting at a restaurant, and the sight before your eyes was enough to ruin your mood.
your husband reaches out and holds your hand from across the table, eyebrows furrowing further as he sees the despair on your face. you refuse to look at him, and kento starts to worry even more.
"my sweet girl, please tell me what's wrong," he urges, lightly squeezing your hand.
you sigh once more, and he follows where your eyes are pointedly staring the burger on your plate. immediately, he sees pickles sticking out from the edges, cemented into the melted cheese, and everything clicks.
"i asked for no pickles ken, but i don't want to be rude and send it back."
kento rubs your hand with his fingers and asks if you want him to take pickles off for you.
"i'll still be able to taste them though because i know they were there," you slightly pouted.
you looked so upset, and your husband hated that. you were really looking forward to trying this restaurant's burger due to all the good reviews you've heard. and as a fellow foodie, he can empathise and share your massive disappointment.
that won't do, kento thinks. his dear heart asked for no pickles, so she'll get a burger with no pickles.
kento spots a waiter nearby and makes eye contact, politely smiling and lifting his hand up. the waiter comes over immediately and asks if everything's okay.
"my beautiful wife here asked for no pickles on her burger, but there seems to be pickles," he looks at you and sees the slight embarrassment on your face and reassuringly rubs your hand. "would it be possible to send this one back and get one without pickles, please?"
you looked up at the waiter in hope with a bashful look on your face.
"absolutely sir," the waiter smiles at your husband and moves to take away the plate from in front of you. he turns to you and dips his head. "i apologise for any inconvenience caused, ma'am. i'll get that to you as soon as possible, alongside a desert of your choice, on the house."
you thank the waiter profusely, and once he's gone, you turn to your husband with the biggest smile on your face. you bring your joined hands up to lips and press kisses on the back of his hand.
"i love you so much kento, thank you!"
your husband smiles with a light blush adorning his cheeks. he leans over the table and presses his lips softly against yours.
"anything for you my sweetheart, i love you too." he whispers softly, with his lips still pressed against yours.
𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎. 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔 ::
“satoru, my darling, my honeybun sweetie pie, did you put pickles in my fucking pastry?”
your boyfriend, who is sitting next to you, freezes at your tone, with his thumb pressed onto his lips to lick away cream from his cake that had gotten onto it. he turns to you with an incredulous look on his face, hand slowly falling back down to his lap. everything’s silent for a moment as he just blinks at you.
“pickles? did you say pickles babe?”
seeing the visible confusion on satoru’s face, you move the plate in your hands closer to him and pout.
“there’s pickles in my pastry.”
he looks down, and you’re right. for some reason, alongside the cream and the strawberries, there were two small slices of pickles half hidden underneath the strawberries. satoru’s confusion doubles, but then he remembers your accusation and how you looked like you were contemplating murder.
“that wasn’t me babe, i promise, scout’s honour!”
“don’t disrespect scouts toru,” you whine. “i was really looking forward to it you know.” you place the plate down on the tea table in front of you and huff, falling back and sinking into the sofa.
the only thing that got you through the long, hard day was the prospect of feasting on the pastry you bought and cuddling up to your lover. and now it was all ruined. what kind of sicko jokes around and puts pickles on perfectly delicious pastries, actively working to ruin people’s days.
seeing your lover’s shock, you’re inclined to believe him. out of everyone, satoru knew not to mess with people’s food, especially sweet treats. but you could’ve sworn putting it in the fridge with no pickles on it. so what happened?
satoru looks at you all upset, and he loses his appetite. don’t get him wrong, he would die for cake. but seeing you so distraught, he could not, in good conscience, enjoy his slice without you. he looks down at the slice of cake in his hand and decides to make a compromise.
“here, my love,” he says with a sweet smile on his face, handing you his plate. “you can have my slice.”
you look up at him, with your mouth slightly open in disbelief. no way, satoru just offered his cake. you never thought you’d live to see the day. looking at his plate, it does look delicious and pickle-less, but you shake your head. he deserves his sweet treat.
“s’fine baby, thank you though.”
“no, honestly, i don’t mind something savoury with my sweets,” he pushes the plate into your hands and grabs the pastry from the table. satoru makes a show of picking a pickle slice off the pastry and licking the cream off. “see it’s delicious,” he smiles brightly, seemingly enjoying it?
“i love you, but you’re a freak,” you grimace burrowing yourself into satoru’s side.
he only chuckles in response, munching on the pickle. he absolutely hates it. he’s a brilliant actor, but you can see it in his eyes, yet he still swallows it. you lift your hand up to his cheek, holding it gently and pressing kisses to every single bit of skin you can reach. your lover only gives you a cheesy smile in return, popping another cream covered pickle into his mouth.
“you don’t have to eat that love, we can just share your cake.”
satoru shakes his head, adamantly refusing. instead choosing to take a massive bite of your pastry covered in pickle juices. it’s disgusting, and he’ll probably cry in the shower before bed at the horrifying taste, but he could handle a couple of pickles if it ensured your happiness.
𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎. 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎 ::
“baby it’s fine, i promise”
“no it’s not choso, first they made fun of you, and then they messed up your order on purpose,” you spluttered in pure disbelief. “it’s disrespectful and rude, i’m not letting them get away with it!”
how dare they, you thought as you sped back to the fast-food chain choso had gotten food for you both from. your husband is the sweetest and most respectful soul to have ever graced this earth. how dare they make fun of his facial marks and hair. you wanted to hug and kiss him all over, but first, you had some strong words for the workers at the food shop.
to say you were fuming was the absolute least of it. you know for a fact that choso probably just awkwardly stood there, hearing their remarks and silently accepted his order whilst they laughed at his buns. picturing it only made you angrier, fists balling and blood rushing through your ears.
“baby, please calm down,” your husband called, hot on your heels. you were only a couple of shops away, and he absolutely did not want to make a scene. he took hold of your arm and gently pulled you towards him, grabbing your other hand in his too.
“my love, it’s okay, just let it go,” he urged. you looked at his face and you saw the slight shine in his eyes, and you were about to turn to straight back around. choso only tightens his hold on you and his hand moves up to hold your face.
“they’re just miserable people, not worth wasting your time on them baby.”
“you would do the same for me cho, i’m not hearing it!”
“i absolutely would, but the workers were young, and i don’t want you getting in trouble for fighting a bunch of kids,” he stressed. “let’s just go home and cuddle, and order takeout or something. please.”
the discomfort of going back inside the shop was written all over his face, and you really didn’t want to make choso’s day harder or worse than it already was. your husband deserved the world, and it made your heart break, knowing that there were people being mean to him. sighing, you lean up and press a soft kiss to the bridge of choso’s nose, right where his mark is.
“okay,” you relent. “let’s go home.”
choso kisses your hand and smiles at you, relief written all over his face.
“you didn’t deserve that choso, i’m really sorry they said all those horrible things to you.”
“’s fine,” he says dismissing it. “my wonderful wife did my hair and tells me how gorgeous she thinks i am every minute of the day. some silly teenager’s words won’t affect me.”
it was easy to see the words had affected him more than he let on, but for now, you decided to let it go. tomorrow you’d talk to him and offer reassurance properly and make his day extra special, but for now you’d let it go, seeing how clearly he wanted to leave it behind.
holding onto his hand, you both turned around and started making your way back home, discussing what you guys should order, already feeling lighter.
“oh babe, let’s invite yuuji over, we could have a family dinner,” you suggested, knowing if there was one thing that would cheer him up, it would be his brother. your husband’s face immediately lights up and he beams at you, nodding his head enthusiastically and agreeing.
it’s sorted then, cuddles with you, then takeout as a family, and then some more cuddles with you both whilst watching a movie.
extra note : geto put pickles on your pastry thinking it was gojo's when he came over the day before. gojo had been annoying him all week, so he decided to hit him where it hurt. when he found out it was yours, he felt terrible and brought extra pastries for you when he next came round.
© ffsg0jo 2024 — do not plagiarise, repost, modify, or translate any of my work, in any way shape or form; i will piss in your cereal if you do. all work belongs to me and me only.
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