#sleeping outdoors in ash storms is good for you

[julijbee]

dreaming on red mountain.

[spinningwebsandtales]

Imagine Aki Staying With You

Aki Hayakawa X FemReader

Rating: T

Warnings: Mentions of drunks, smoking, kind of depressed Aki, but mostly fluff

Word Count: 1.1k

(A/N:) Hello followers and readers I am not dead! Still super busy and majority of the time when I do have a little moment to write my hands hurt too bad to even try. I’m ready for things to start slowing down. I actually had a pretty good day today where I could try to write so I did! I’ve had this idea since October but didn’t have the time to get it wrote. I was going to save it until New Years when I should be back to my normal creative self. But since I’ve been so absent I decided not to do that to y’all. I had it wrote so I should get it posted so there’s something new before then. So I look forward to be back, but until then enjoy this that has been swimming and torturing me for months! XD Until next time happy reading! And have a safe and fun Christmas! ~Countess

It was always a rare occasion when Aki was able to come around. Majority of the time he was overwhelmingly busy with work and then his free time was keeping his two wards under constant supervision. But when those rare moments of solitude and freedom came around you could find Aki haunting the rooms of your house. It was these times you knew everything was beginning to take a hold of him. He couldn’t stand to be alone with his dark thoughts, especially with horrible memories battering his mental stronghold. So he came to you for support and quiet solace that chased the dreadful feelings away. This time was no different. With Makima dealing with Denji and Power, Aki found himself alone in his apartment. Normally he wished every day that they would go away but this was one of those moments where he didn’t need the quiet. So it was time to call in backup.

As soon as your phone screen flashed with his name you knew exactly what he needed. Not thirty minutes later Aki stepped through your front door, freshly showered and clothed for sleep. His eyes, surrounded by darkened rings of exhaustion. He stalked into your living room and fell right into your couch with a heavy sigh. You didn’t say a word as you let him have his moment, acting like you never even noticed the fact that he felt anything else besides pure hatred for devils and his stoic personality. This was your relationship. He never asked for more from you and you never asked more from him. He couldn’t handle getting this close to someone from work, that’s why he could swear that you are a heaven sent to him. You didn’t ask questions, you didn’t turn him away at any moment, you were just there a quiet, sturdy, unchanging friend when he needed it most.

Now as night had fallen Aki couldn’t bring himself to leave you. You didn’t have a guest room but you could trust Aki to be a natural gentleman so he always occupied the other side of your bed with you whenever he stayed around. Your soft breaths of sleep lulled him, but the storming ocean of his mind refused to settle. He watched you for a few moments your chest rising up and down as soft snores from your parted lips caused a smile to come to his. Your hair curtained your soft rosy cheeks, he decided to get up and go smoke before the temptation of touching you became too much. Aki did know you both had feelings for one another, your feminine whiles as you called them called to his inner self that he suppressed every time he came around. But as a Devil Hunter he refused to explore them. 

As he stepped onto your outdoor balcony the cooler air stirring his black locks he remembered the first time he tried smoking inside your apartment. You almost pushed him over the railing to the bustling streets below, you couldn’t get him out fast enough. After that you bought an ash tray just for him to keep there outside. You even bought him a chair so that if he grew tired of standing he always had a place to rest. He chuckled lightly placing the cigarette between his lips and lighting it with his trusty lighter. Blowing smoke to the wind he watched it dissipate with the gentle breeze before taking another drag. The coals that burned away the tobacco lit up the darkened world as the city slept, minus a few straggling bar patrons that weaved back and forth in drunken stupors. Aki lost himself once more into his raging thoughts, so much so he didn’t hear your sliding doors open or notice you come outside until you were standing right next to him. Your normally perfect hair mussed from sleep while draped in a warm blanket from your bed wrapped around you as tightly as possible. Still you shivered from the cold. He wrapped an arm around you and pulled you into his side. You snuggled deeply, fitting against him like a puzzle piece that was always meant to be right there at all times.

“Can’t sleep,” you asked after several seconds passed you both by.

“Mind won’t quiet down,” he shrugged taking another deep drag from the cigarette.

  “That happens to me sometimes,” you nodded before looking down at the people he was just staring at. “Must be nice being so care free you can just get drunk and go home late whenever you want.”

“Or they’re drinking to forget something,” Aki pointed out.

“True,” you agreed. “But does that guy look like he’s been drinking to forget things?” You pointed to one man below giggling like a child before disappearing down an alleyway. Aki’s lips pulled into a thoughtful pout.

“Most likely not.”

“Point made.”

“But what about that one,” he grinned slyly pointing towards one man at an empty bus stop bawling himself into a blubbering stupor.

“And your point as been made as well. Poor dear.”

“Ah don’t feel sorry for him he’s the one drowning himself in booze instead of taking care of the problem.”

You nuzzled in deeper, “When did my sweet Aki get to be so cruel to his fellow man?”

His dark eyebrow arched and a small dusting of pink took to his cheeks. Though if you pointed that out he’d just blame it on the cool temperature. “Since you met me,” he replied immediately before snuffing out his cigarette butt. “Now let’s go inside before you catch a cold. I already have to care for two children I don’t need a third.”

“Hey,” you pouted dragging your feet so he would have to push harder, “you could catch a cold too and I would have to take care of you!”

“Doubtful. But if you’ll hurry up and get to bed I’ll make you breakfast in the morning.”

“An Aki special breakfast?!?!”

He nodded and you squealed in delight taking off for the bedroom, Aki right on your heels. You spread the blanket you had stolen from said bed earlier back out before getting back under the several blankets. Aki joined you laying to where he could watch you for a little longer before he finally fell under a deep sleep. You scooted closer right against him your bright eyes penetrating deep into the darker depths of his. You smiled warmly, eyes fluttering close before you fell back to sleep. Aki calmed his racing heart before taking you into his arms. With you embraced protectively against him, he finally released all that kept him from relaxing and it wasn’t much longer after you that he fell right to sleep. He promised you before losing all consciousness to cook you the best breakfast you ever had in the morning.

[vashak]

Blackbird - Part II (Alter Bridge)

Eiji was in a cab and the only reason he took a cab was because there was a terrible storm outside. Normally he would enjoy the roundabout forty-five-minute walk to his destination. But no amount of waterproof outdoor gear could ensure he arrived at the reception in a presentable fashion in this weather.

And now he was stuck in traffic because he’d told the driver to take an alternative route that doesn’t pass near a certain landmark in Manhattan. But he couldn’t complain really. It was rare to see the streets of New York so empty with only the occasional rain chaser.

He was lost in thoughts of nothing in particular when his mind registered the first few notes of the familiar song playing on the radio of the cab. It’d been so long since Eiji even heard the song, let alone sing it, that he couldn’t remember it at first. He recognized the cheerful tune but couldn’t make out the rest. Just when his memory kicked in, a different, much sadder guitar riff started, alerting him that this was a completely different song. The driver, apparently a fan of whatever this song was, turned the volume slightly up.

Eiji thought he must have misheard the tune at the beginning and turned back to the window. But something in the melancholy of the song prevented him from diverting his attention altogether. By then, the singer had started singing and Eiji couldn’t make out a single word. Except…

It’s coming to sweep you away. It's coming to sweep you away…

The song, the overall sound of it, was so sad that alarm bells started to ring. Eiji suddenly felt uncomfortable with the direction his thoughts had taken as if called forth by the lure of the song. The cab driver started banging his head when the heavy metal guitar riff hit. And once the chorus started with all its power, Eiji couldn’t help but hear it echo in him.

Let the wind carry you home Blackbird, fly away May you never be broken again Beyond the suffering you've known I hope you find your way May you never be broken again

It shook him all around. No, he didn’t want to go there. He didn’t want to think about it. When the chorus started for a second time, Eiji knew he had to get out of there. He didn’t even bother to ask the driver to turn it off. The metalhead seemed to be enjoying the wretched song. Eiji hastily told him to pull over. He paid the puzzled driver and quickly got out of the car into the storm.

He walked under the pouring rain for what seemed like hours, all the while hearing the song echoing in his head. He was drenched all over but didn’t care. The damp cold seeping into his bones seemed to numb the familiar pain just a little.

Eiji thought he’d made his peace with it. He had heard what happened that day from Sing only once, drawn his conclusions and sealed them shut before its revelations consumed him. But sometimes… On bad nights, a stubborn voice in his head would gnaw at him. “Why didn’t he seek help? Why’d he go back to the fucking library in that condition and climb all those stairs like it was some grand gesture? He’d survived much worse wounds after all.”

Stop it! He walked back to the library because he knew he couldn’t—because he wanted to have… Eiji could never finish that thought. It was too painful. But the alternative was even more so. Eiji didn’t want to even entertain the possibility that Ash didn’t want to seek help. That he might have simply taken upon the opportunity.

“Don’t look at me like that. I’ve never been afraid of death. But I also never wanted to die.”

Ash’s voice rang so clear in his mind that Eiji felt he was transported to that day Ash told him about Hemingway’s leopard over sunset in Brooklyn. The cold iron of the railing he gripped, the warm rays of the sun softening Ash’s features, the thawing relief he felt over his words… “That makes me feel better,” he’d told Ash in response. And now the memory made him feel slightly better.

Sing had told him that Ash was smiling when he went in to identify him in the city morgue. “Like he was having a good dream.” Had it not been his letter that distracted Ash enough to get fatally wounded, Eiji would have found solace in the hope that the very same letter had comforted Ash in his last moments. It was so selfish of him, really. He wanted to claim that smile he never saw.

Eiji looked up. It had stopped raining. The tempest was over.

Ascend, may you find no resistance And know that you made such a difference And all you leave behind Will live till the end The cycle of suffering goes on But the memories of you stay strong Some day I too will fly And find you again

*******

Eiji tiptoed into Ash and Griffin’s old room. Sing and Akira had gone asleep hours ago and he didn’t want to wake them up.

No wonder he couldn’t sleep. It was the first time he was spending the night in this property after almost a decade. Yet he found the dusty box under the bed like he’d put it there just yesterday and not two years ago.

“Sorry I kept you locked up for so long, as if that would make a difference.”

Looking at Ash’s pictures, Eiji remembered the good times they shared. He let the tears fall and embraced the complex emotion. First the melody came back to him. And then the lyrics.

Blackbird fly, blackbird fly Into the garden of light of a dark black night

The End

Read Part I (The Beatles) here.

Read notes about this fic here.

[comebeonetwothree]

Blog #8: Country Roads

07/13/2021

Currently driving through roads where pro-life billboards are placed in front of graveyards… we are officially on the road back home.

Traveling fast but seeing the most we have while covering 1,500 miles and two time zones in the last week. 900 miles to go. We jumped from Portland to northern and southern Montana then all the way through to Chicago… our last stop ;(

We met some really nice people out here- the kind of people that want to take time out of their day to interact with you. People actually smile at you and mean it when they say “have a good day.”

There were a lot of experiences this week that were indescribable. All senses were at full throttle from sleeping in the heart of Portland to camping in National Parks.

Being our last stretch of the trip, it has been hard to not feel sad when we are closing such a big chapter of our life. It’s a weird feeling of being sad but also still being so excited for the next stop. I hope the excitement doesn’t end.

Who

Who is ready to rumble…

In Portland we got to meet up with Maya’s cousin, Michael and his daughter Thea. He moved out there 13 years ago and never looked back.

He was telling us he did a similar trip with his college buddies back in the day and fell in love with the city, so moved there shortly after the trip.

Sounds fun, might fuck around and move…

Batman was ready to rumble, and fumble and everything in between. While whitewater rafting in Glacier National Park, we had the pleasure of riding with Batman The Guide. Batman, because you can’t change who you are but if you can always choose Batman.

He had been living in Montana for 17 years after moving from Oregon. He had previously worked in the park as a shuttle bus driver and recently switched over to a whitewater rafting instructor.

He was a funny fucking dude; the whole crew was super hyped but he had a comedic sense that made it an entertaining day.

While on the water, we were joking around and splashing the neighboring rafts, an independent rafter said they will bomb us with beers if we splash them. One of the other people on the boat yelled back, “Are they full beers?” and they responded by launching three full miller lite beers at our raft.

At the end of our tour, Batman gave us the three beers then we dedicated those three beers to him with a funnel.

More Friends!!! Its wild how many people we got to see throughout this trip. Hitting Yellowstone National Park, we met up with Mayas friends from home: Cole, Jamie and Declan.

They were just starting their cross-country trip from Nyack, NY, hitting the Northern route to the southern, vs our trip ending in the North. Funny coincident.

We camped out with them for two nights… it was too beautiful to just stay one night, so we pushed back our trip to badlands and stayed the extra night.

We were all out at this joint called Buffalo Bar, it had a great outdoor area with corn hole, ring toss and puppiesss. There is something so fulfilling in petting random dogs with a beer in your hand.

This one dog I was petting had an exceptional owner who was traveling him across states to bring him home. I spoke with the owner for quite a while, she was so friendly about letting me pet her dog. She really was doing it all, back at home she has three kids and two other dogs.

When people hear about our travels, their reactions usually make us realize how cool it is to have the opportunity to do a trip like this.

Many times they wish they did the same when they were our age, *cough, cough, go travel right now, cough, cough.*

This woman explained how she jumped right into working out of school and has always regretted it. Her children were already teenagers so I told her she should get out there and do it. Traveling her new dog home was a great start to the on-the-go lifestyle, she seemed to be enjoying it.

I later found out she picked up our tables tab… thank you Jennifer, you have a heart of gold and a generous soul. She explained her hopes that her kids will one day get out there and see the world like she always wished, and we were accomplishing. It was a pass it forward request, when I am able to cover the bill of a lovely traveling stranger. I hope I cross paths with this family eventually and pay it forward for her children that may travel.

What

What a reality…

The National Park pass is something you buy and are given access to all the national parks in the US. We got one in the beginning of the trip knowing we would be reaching quite a few parks. Unfortunately, we lost it after just seeing the Grand canyon.

It fell in a black hole… the area where your dashboard and windshield meet. Remember this when you put shit on the dashboard. It can slide right down to its death, the only way to get the shit out is by taking off the windshield.

Those passes are irreplaceable, of course.

In badlands, we posted up around 10 p.m. in our hammocks. It was a new experience for us, we thought hey its our last time camping, lets try it a new way. 

We set our hammocks up underneath this podium and slept there. It was perfect for a quick and easy set up/clean up. There was a solid amount of people around us, so we weren't too worried about getting attacked by coyotes again. 

Where

When driving to Portland we drove through the Redwood National Forest. This made me realize how long this Earth has been around.

Trees take a while to grow, and these trees were as thick as three full grown pine trees and as tall as two stacked on top of each other.

Neck breaking tall.

After crossing through, we hit the upper west coast and traveled on route 101 until we hit Portland. It was filled with jaw dropping views, so much so I woke Mary and Maya up every 5 minutes to show them the views. Most times it was the same view as before, just with a new massive rock to look at.

It was a relatively foggy day, so we couldn’t see certain lookout points, but there was something so majestic about the fog within the forests and hanging on the coast.

There were points where you cross over a bridge and there was nothing around you, just white. It appeared as being stuck in a dream or driving my bitchass to heaven.

Arriving in Portland, we stayed at a place in ChinaTown. It was so cute and located on top of a great deli, Charlie’s Deli.

We checked out a bunch of shops and stores while in Portland. While we were walking around, this coffee shop had the sweetest workers. They enjoyed interacting with their customers and weren’t just looking to take your money.

Portland is filled with mockingly friendly people, they weren’t mocking anyone though, they were just that fucking friendly. They actually want to converse with people... what a concept.

For dinner we went to this food truck pod place, which is about 15 different food trucks serving food, with a communal sitting area to eat the food.

We met up with Maya’s cousin there for a drink and to catch up.

Hitting Glacier National Park, we started our camping excursion. We started off sleeping in our car since we arrived late to our campground after driving 10 hours to get there. It was pretty comfortable and with the knowledge of bear attacks in the area, it was a secure place to sleep.

While in Glacier, we decided to go whitewater rafting, a whole new way of seeing the parks. It was so dope, the rapids were on the weak side since the heat waves.

After rafting, we found a great lake front public access point where we hung our hammocks up and took a nice long nap.

There are lakes EVERYWHERE here in Montana and great fishing! Let’s travel and fish all over Montana, okay? Cool.

We waited until 5 p.m. when the park lets you in without a pass, to do a sunset hike in the park. We took Going-to-the-sun road to the highline hike, where we got to see some wild animals!

In the parking lot we got to see a horned sheep (looks like a ram) and more mountain goats!! We saw three full grown goats and one baby goat.

This horned sheep actually stormed at us and we had to jump into our car. The people that parked in the spot before us left their cheetos on the ground. This guy was hungry as fuck I guess. Relentless to say the least. 

This National Park is my new favorite spot-on Earth. Spread my ashes here. Moseying through the park was a full body experience.

All your senses are involved, the smells of the forest are beyond refreshing. The touch of the crisp air brings goosebumps to your skin, and the taste of wind in your face emphasizes the overload of oxygen in that area.

There are no commercialized areas for hours outside the park. Just a fuck ton of trees.

The sounds of different birds chirping harmonizes in your ears with the wind blowing and the rocks falling below you. Your sight is spiked the highest out of the senses. These views seemed so unreal they appeared fake. When you finally touch the grounds around you, you realize how really unreal this land is.

Heading to Yellowstone the following day brought a similar element of nostalgia. We camped right outside the park, on the state border lines of Wyoming and Idaho.

Our friends we stayed with luckily still had their national park pass, so we all took our car and got into the park early that next morning. We got to see some bison! Fun Fact: Bison and Buffalos are actually the same thing.

There were so many beautiful trees and hot springs throughout the park. So many cool colors to see. We also watched Old Faithful blow her hole!!

Getting to Badlands eventually, we got a campground directly in the park. Since we got there later than five it was free. We posted up our hammocks for our last night camping on the trip ;( when we woke up, the views were so cool.

Badlands is a shit ton of clay forming giant sandcastle hills all over. But there is so much green for a desert it was an interesting combination.

When

When can we shower…

We have completed so much of the drive home its wild. We stayed in an apartment for the first two nights in Portland and then spent the rest of the week camping.

We hit our record of days without a shower… 5 full ass days. I’m so proud of Mary and Maya, they really can’t stand being dirty.

When driving long ass 10 hour plus drives for a week you find yourself enjoying nothingness. Head empty is such a vibe after jamming to music and listening to murder mystery podcasts for hours on end.

Our music ranges widely, depending on crashing periods. Whenever Mary is driving, she is either blasting screamo edm music or 2000s pop music.

Maya plays some bomb bops; I really don’t know any of the songs, but it has opened my mind to all these new artists!!

I personally love the murder mystery podcasts, there were a few times I had to change it though because it got too spooky. In the case of this week, we were driving to camp in Montana and a murder mystery came on about the Montana Child Killer… dope.

Why

I have ruled out ever living in a city. From the driving on busy ass streets to the dirty smells everywhere, I will happily reside somewhere in the country. Where? Still have no idea… Why? Because there are so many pros and cons to all these places we saw.

I guess i'll just have to come back out here!

I’m really thinking somewhere up north on the west coast. The west coast will forever hold my heart, but I really don’t have the money or the ability to live in a city out there. Maybe one day with a bombass money making job.

Coming back to the East has made me realize how much nicer people are out west and how much slower of a pace it is.

How

How are we coming up on our last spot…

We are hitting our last stop… Chicago. Shoutout to my cousin for going to school here and letting us use and abuse his apartment! Hehe just kidding we will take care of it for ya, Owen!

It feels so strange to be this close to New York. Our license plates being from New York is no longer that cool.

I’m going to miss people peeping our plates and asking us about our travels and/or wishing us luck!

Thanks everyone throughout, we are almost accomplished with this chapter!

[jae-canikeepyou]

| cloud nine | j.jh

pair: jaehyun x fem!reader

genre: alternate universe

a/n: agh i really like this request because i’ve seen an edit of him in a pilot’s uniform :< tbh i re-wrote this three times before i was satisfied with it. hope it meets your imagination 💕~j.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

captain jung jaehyun.

once everyone heard that name or saw it on their monthly roasters, whispers of yeses and scoffs of disappointments were normal in the department. some were contented with only being in the same paper as him. and then there were some who were very lucky enough to trail behind him when they made their way to the aircraft.

one time when jaehyun was running late, his existence alone acted as if the entire airport was his own model runway. a little speed walk or even fixing the folds of his sleeve cuffs sent crowds upon crowds trampling over each other about that rumoured hot pilot; taking pictures of him like he was a famous celebrity. people’s comments have spread and hit the articles as well, more frequent and mentioned in any social platform online and it was titled several times.

‘this captain has the visuals to be a celebrity.’

‘captain is a living character out of a manhwa?’

‘a pilot caused a storm at the arrival hall of xxx airport due to his good looks.’

‘mr. viral pilot’s even has a handsome rbf.’

jaehyun gave a forced smile that melted the eyes of his ‘assumed’ fanbase. not again, he thought. it was just a normal gesture to greet them, yet they saw it differently. other than a pool of sakuras and pink hearts, his smile was equivalent to ‘i love you’.

“attaboy jung!” his co-pilot lee seokmin, caught up to him at the departure hall. “do a finger heart next time!”

“don’t reveal my name.” he gestured him to keep quiet. “finger hearts are for idols.”

“i will reveal it because you’re basically a celebrity pilot now. don’t be so stiff, jung” his sunshine smile also caused an uproar after shooting the ladies with many hearts. “it’s simple. just put your thumb and pointer like an x- wait what do you mean for idols? can’t you see how famous you are after that viral picture floating around the country? if you’re not convinced, the world? jaehyun, even the legendary IU agreed you’re attractive-”

seokmin’s words were stopped by jaehyun’s documents in front of his purses lips. he put the blocking papers down with his fingers and still continued with sending finger hearts. “fine. you can reveal my name but not my fanboying side please. and dude i’m having second hand embarrassment right now because of you.” jaehyun gritted his teeth.

“you gotta get used to it.” seokmin said, now doing a heart with his arms.

the crew went through security screening and soon reached the bottom of the flight of stairs connecting to the plane. it was the norm, or maybe not, that the whole crew took a picture before the flight.

jaehyun stood at the middle with seokmin when he noticed a familiar face by his side. based on her side profile, he was sure this was definitely her.

he observed her ever elegant posture; natural make up that wasn’t too heavy, something he always liked. the way her eyelashes flutter due to the wind’s breeze and gosh her gorgeous and gentle smile-

“you’re staring, captain.” you cleared your throat, snapping him out of the trance. a small grin curving by your lips at his aloof response.

“my apologies if i have been rude..” he bent down to whisper, eyes lowering down to see your name slightly on the document paper you were holding. heh, i was right.. “..y/n.”

“if there’s anyone who’s rude..” you trailed off, turning to him face to face now. “..wouldn’t that be you, mr. celebrity?” you quirked an eyebrow at him, referring to the recent articles about the handsome pilot visual. you then twirled still with a small smile as you headed up the flight of stairs.

seokmin nudged the tall male, lips agape at his interaction with you. “wow you just talked with the y/n!” his voice sounding softer than usual. “she’s just new to the airline and everyone has a crush on her. i think i’m falling for her too.”

“you fall for every girl you encounter with, lee.”

as they walked up as well, jaehyun’s eyebrows arched at the compliment seokmin gave you. they took a quick glance at you, now talking with the rest of attendants. it didn’t take long for them to realize that other men were awe-struck by your beauty, just like he did. even the senior attendants seem very smitten whenever you would bring out the enthusiasm from others for the flight. entering the cockpit, the two pilots sat at their seats in preparation for take-off.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

ten hours into the flight, you double checked the passengers, wherein you gave assistance, especially those with children.

at the corners of your eyes, you spotted a couple with three kids. and based on other passengers who seemed to not get any sleep or have broad understanding, were bothered with the continuous cries. the parents seemed new and they were ultimately blessed with triplets. two were already a handful for them and the other baby was left slight unattended, so you politely asked to step in to help.

you could feel that mobile phones were directly pointed at you, filming the moment as they planned to maybe make the gesture viral. you pat the baby’s back and managed to make her sleep.

since shifting airlines just four months ago, you were aware of the attention you’ve been getting from other staffs, passengers and even locals. as much as you didn’t want the spotlight onto you, your occupation somehow paved the way.

the parents thanked your service and as you bowed, the chief flight attendant called you to rest. you finally sat at the post where you were assigned at. out of heavy exhaustion, you massaged your neck to sooth the pain away. deciding to freshen up a bit, you used the service cart to block aisle and went to the lavatory before heading to the plane’s upper rest compartment.

the way you twirled around got stuck in jaehyun’s mind. he couldn’t seem to take you out of it. he would close his eyes for awhile and your smile would appear. it got him feeling so giddy to the point he felt his ears heat up.

“is she marked in your heart?” seokmin placed his legs up as the plane was on auto-pilot.

“no not really.” jaehyun said, removing the headphones.

seokmin noticed the fidgety movements jaehyun had been acting since the take-off. it was as if he was itching to leave. “jae, you’ll get your turn to rest, just let me finish my food.” he munched on his sandwich before gesturing his friend to leave.

now that he finally would get his rest, he exited the cockpit with a hammering heart. he wasn’t the type to reveal himself during the flight, but urgently needed to go for a break. other crew reminded him that he should sleep too, given the prominent dark circles around his eyes. as he waited for his turn to use the lavatory, the door slid open revealing you, whom maybe he, or might have growing heart eyes toward you.

your hands held the door as the grip on it tightened at the sight of the captain. you looked to where his hands were and he held the door’s outside handle. his dimples deepened the more he flattened his lips, and he too seemed shocked at your appearance.

even after hours into the flight, he thought you still looked the same like you did at the photo taking. “hi.” he chuckled, obviously feeling a mix of awkwardness and embarrassment in meeting you.

“hello. may i pass through?” you asked, almost taking jaehyun aback at your straight-forward question. the rest of the crew witnessing interaction made them giggle.

“oh, i’m sorry.” he turned his body 90 degree and you shyly nodded for the gesture.

idiot, jaehyun. you’re an idiot. he told himself.

jaehyun went back to the cockpit and retrieved his coat and he soon got down the steep ladder steps, where he spotted you reading a book you were so immersed in. the sleepiness in his eyes were long gone and this time he wanted to have a proper conversation with you. unlike in the previous two short ones where you seemed to brush him off.

you noticed his presence and closed the book, giving them the attention he sought for earlier. he stood opposite to you, leaning against the ladder. “do you have something to tell me?” you asked, placing the book in your bag. “i’m a pretty good listener.”

a smile from you had jaehyun head in the clouds. “oh, well captain lee said you’re new here.” he fixed to loosen his tie and unbuttoned the first bud. “so how long have you been in the airline?”

“i transferred four months ago.” you replied, putting a strand back with a bobby pin.

“i see. no wonder. i was probably busy at the time. lots of schedules and flights here and there. our paths never seemed to cross if you’ve been here that long.” he crossed his arms.

he was hesitant to ask because it would make him look full of himself. screw it anyway. “you’re not one of those who moved airlines just to see me, right?”

his question made you silent. “ i just thought maybe this airline is more suitable for me.” you lied. in fact you moved because you weren’t convinced enough from your co-workers, that this ‘jaehyun’, apparently your ex, could swoon the ladies.

oh heavens, it has been five years. and this man certainly did swoon you and definitely sent your chest aching again, in a good way.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

the city the airline was designated at filled with bustling people and chirping of the birds. the sun shone as its rays peeked through the little gaps between leaves. traditional music played publicly at the common and main street, some tourists lined up for the city’s landmark. it really seemed like a perfect picture.

you sat down at an outdoor café, legs crossed and memorised the scenery in front. glad that you were blessed with photographic memory and began a quick sketch on the blank paper. as much as you didn’t want to touch your new pocket-sized watercolor painting set, you had to dab the first droplet of water on the tabs.

the faint ash lines soon faded completely at the droplets and as you began to paint the first layer, the paper met a shadow figure that blocked the sun. you looked up to see jung jaehyun; with two coffees in hand, a sunshine smile, perfect dimples and in casual clothes. you didn’t want to make him wait long and invited him to sit with you.

“great day today huh?” he asked, leaning closer to look at what you were doing then shifting his eyes towards you. “it’s.. pretty.”

“thanks, but it’s only the first layer. you’ll see the details after i’m done with the fountain.” you brought up your sketchbook to let him see.

“have you been to the city before?” taking a sip from his cup. you shook your in response, still concentrated on the painting. “c’mon, i’ll tour you around.”

he grabbed your hand and you had no choice but to follow. street stalls filled with souvenirs and its people encouraged their ranges, and jaehyun spotted something that might suit you. it was a necklace. he gestured the man so he could pay for it. taking glances of you and stall, the man waved at him. “sir, this comes in pairs.”

“hm?” his eyes looked at the item. “oh then i’ll get a pair.” he gave the cash and as the man took it, he grinned at jaehyun for his hearty eyes; already catching the purpose of the quick decision.

“it is for the lady, am i right?” he asked.

jaehyun scratched his neck, mentally cursing to himself for being too obvious and transparent. “oh. she’s just- uh, we used to date.” jaehyun chuckled, taking the resin designed necklace in his hands.

“you both look good together.” the man winked like he was about to give the pilot a piece of advice. “she must be that special to be making you feel things.”

“well she still makes me feel i’m in the clouds.” jaehyun looked at you choose an souvenir with furrowed brows. “it’s kinda sad that we didn’t make it like most couples.”

the man’s loud laugh startled jaehyun. “you’re in the city of love. anything can change and anything is possible.”

jaehyun smiled at his remark and left with a contented, little hopeful heart. he went up to you who was still indecisive with the souvenir.

you felt his presence on your right. rising up to see what he was up to, you were shocked at the item he had dangling in his fingers. this certain gesture reminded of your first date; he waved a keychain he won through a carnival stall. you stared into his eyes like you saw the universe in them; the beauty continuously expanding, the stars shining and sparkling when it boasted its twinkles.

the smile on your face faded, but it was quite obvious to jaehyun. he brought down the item and bit his inner gums. “i got this for you.” he chuckled softly, eyes averting from you with reddened ears.

this was strange, awkward, how you both used to be a thing in the past and now meeting each other through work. it just didn’t seem right, to you at least.

“what happened to us?” your sudden question caused jaehyun bent even lower towards your face, sending you to step backwards at his action.

jaehyun knew what you referred to. in fact he asked himself the same question every day since losing contact with you after high school. a small grin curving by his lips disappeared, then mirroring the same expression as you did. “we were both young, carefree. we didn’t know what to prioritise and used each other to make people think differently of us.” he trailed. “we were pretty immature. we just stopped talking after our graduation and distance widened before we had the time to talk it out.” he cracked up slightly, beginning to walk slowly to continue touring you around.

you kinda bursted out in giggles, agreeing to every reason he had just said. the way you saw how much he changed physically and mentally, something in him seemed to draw you closer to him; like you wanted to go back to square one. because all you feel towards him at this very moment was the same as back then.

“couldn’t agree more. we were like those try hard couple goal wannabes that we annoy the heck out of our friends.” you put your hair strands behind your ear. “anyway, i feel the same-” you paused, realizing what you just said.

“uh-huh.” he now looked at you from the map.

“i shouldn’t have said-” you laughed and feeling panicky. the heat creeping from your forehead downwards.

“you mean ‘feel the same like before’ or ‘feel the same as me’?” he asked with a challenging grin. such a tease.

you rolled your eyes at his childish behaviour, not wanting to be caught in his web. “what do you mean by ‘feel the same as me’, hm?” your voice almost breaking to a laugh.

jaehyun inhaled and exhaled sharply because he did not know what else to say. his fingers waving everywhere to look for answers, but to no success, he could only smile awkwardly. you both stared at each other for a while before he spotted some people who recognised him from afar. he grabbed you and went for a run, pulling you with him and led you away from the main circle of the city.

how you wished you wore proper footwear. running with ballet flats on uneven ground brought more discomfort than it did with jaehyun’s company. but as you watched the way how his hair slowed with the wind and his smiling side profile turning towards you, all memories from back then came flooding in like waves. though you didn’t want them to, there wasn’t anything you could do because you knew that somewhere inside the deepest parts in your heart, there was still room for a second chance with him; there was still space for him to fill that missing gap that was left empty before.

now your body was pulled aside at one street, just by the edge of an outdoor neighbourhood home. jaehyun gestured you to keep quiet and he turned slightly to check on them. as you both hid, it was something similar when flynn rider and rapunzel hid from the patrolling royal guards. “remember how we were just like this when we hid from our homeroom teachers?” he asked, crossing his arms in reminisce and a grin from ear to ear.

“of course, it was your idea and we had to mop the whole gymnasium as punishment.” you tiptoed to take a peek behind him. “it’s clear now, let’s go-”

“let me do this for a while.” jaehyun pulled you to him for a hug. “i kind-”

“kinda missed this?” you finished his sentence.

his chuckle tickled your ears as his palms tightened around you. “you took the words right out of my mouth.”

“i know you too well, jae.” you pinched his cheek and he let go of you.

“too well that you figured i’m starting to fall for you again?” he licked his dry lips as he waited for you answer.

you exhaled a breathy air from your nostrils, turning around to walk around the city and giggled internally for leaving him unanswered.

jaehyun scoffed with reddened ears. “should i take that as a yes?”

“whatever you wanna think of, jae.”

he recalled what the salesman said. maybe something will change in this city of love and your words just now created a ray of hope in the sky. this inexplainable anticipation he felt in his chest got him realizing that, yeah, he actually, still is in love with you.

—

you bowed to the last batch passengers exiting the plane with jaehyun and seokmin on your side, along with other crew. finally on the way to arrival hall, all you wanted was to feel the soft sheets of your bed. grabbing your luggage, you slowed down your pace knowing that jaehyun was behind.

jaehyun’s hand laid on your shoulders, catching his breath slightly. “i’ll meet you at the carpark.” he bent down to a whisper.

“and what makes you think i’ll agree with your request?” you hummed, legs dragging your exhausted self to the walkalator.

“i’m gonna make my signature marinated spicy fried pork. i know you miss that.” he winked.

“mhm.” you singsonged, “more than i miss you.”

he groaned like a child and you could tell he purposely whined in a persuasive tone. “join me for dinner at least.” he nudged that you were lightly shoved to side, creating imbalance on your feet.

“fine i will.” you rolled your eyes as he cheered in soft ‘yeses’. “in one condition though.”

jaehyun lifted a brow at your habit and he should’ve seen it coming. “what is it?”

“live cooking. i’ll sit by your breakfast table, observing how you cut and hold the onions wrongly. i don’t want you to make me wait elsewhere of your apartment.”

“i didn’t invite you just so i could be bickered by you.” he held your head, sending vibrations for a second before you poked his armpits. “ow! okay you’ll get the live cooking in one condition, alright?”

you continued to walk towards the arrival hall, already noticing banners of jaehyun’s name and long lenses of cameras pointed at your direction. “that’s my word, but fine. what’s your condition, captain?”

a large hand find its way to interlock yours, then bringing it up to be visible to the public. “a pilot and a flight attendant dating.” his wink caused you to fluster in all sorts and now you were aware of the cameras. “it’d be a good topic, wouldn’t it?”

his lips seemed to inch closer towards you but it wasn’t a kiss since he refrained himself from doing so. your heart stopped for a moment before a certain camera flash blinked in front of the both of you, later hearing a voice of the photographer asking his mates to name the newsletter;

“captain jung is on cloud nine with y/f/n.”

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “Nobody” Part 2

After not feeling well for months, The Joker finally found out why: the life threatening condition is so serious there’s only a 50/50 chance of survival.  Dealing with a brain tumor is not going to be easy, that’s why The King of Gotham asked his half-brother Arthur to help Y/N while he’ll undergo treatment.

Part 1

“Hey Pumpkin,” The Joker kisses you. “Are you awake?”

You smack your lips and stretch, opening your eyes since you have no other choice.

“I am now… Are you feeling sick? Need anything?” the nursing side takes over while he’s silent, too busy wrapping your right leg around his waist. “Mister Joker,” you immediately gasp. “No guns in bed!”

“It’s not my gun,” he smirks and you chuckle at the evident truth. “When’s the last time we had sex, huh? Two weeks ago?!”

“Mmmm��” you debate, caressing his face. “Something like that.”

“All the meds are messing me up,” J pouts. “Great news though: turns out I’m not dead yet,” he adds and you yank him in your arms before his speech ruins the mood.

“Maybe we should sleep outdoors more often; it seems to have a beneficial effect,” Y/N underlines the welcomed idea The Joker had last night about resting on the terrace.

“Or maybe it’s just from having my girl close,” he utters a nice sentence, instantly correcting himself. “This is clearly the tumor messing with my brain; makes me say weird stuff.”

“Perhaps we should keep it then,” you sigh as The King of Gotham pulls down on your PJ shorts. “I like to hear weird stuff like that.”

“Do ya’?!” he fakes his surprise because he tries to avoid the subject.

“U-hum.”

“Naaah, I vote for sex and dirty talk!” J hisses and slides on top of you, prompting laughter when he starts nibbling on your cleavage. “Let’s have some fun before my mojo’s gone!”

“Mojo!” you repeat since you can’t stop cracking up, the unexpected entertaining morning 100 percent welcomed after the stressful past months.

“Shut up and let’s sin,” The Joker gives in to your charms. “You can be laud: Arthur’s a heavy sleeper, not that he can hear us anyway.”

***********

His brother is actually downstairs; Arthur woke up at 7:15am, moped around for a bit, then decided to cook breakfast. That’s what he’s been doing for the past 20 minutes: it wasn’t difficult to locate the necessary ingredients and bestowing his talents upon the famished couple might help in the long run.

He figured Y/N and J will appreciate his culinary abilities succeeding napping on the inflatable mattress outside; fresh air is bound to make one hungrier than usual.

So here’s the result of his hard work: two plates filled with bacon, eggs, hash browns, waffles and freshly sliced oranges perfectly arranged in symmetrical patterns.

Arthur places the dishes on a tray, humming a little song while he pours hot tea in the cups; it smells delicious and he can’t wait to enjoy the praises: he needs extra credit after upsetting Y/N yesterday with the unnecessary fight she witnessed by accident.  

Mister Fleck lights up a cigarette, swiftly creeping out The Penthouse: he puffs the smoke like a chimney, mindful at the ashes flying in the breeze. A few extra steps and he’s almost in front of the canopy; Arthur prepares to announce his presence when moans reach his ear. He freezes and carefully listens, unsure on what to do.

“Oh my God, J!” you squeal as The Joker growls, purring up a storm.

“What are you doing to me, Kitten?”

Further panting and groaning suggests he should probably abandon his plan: Arthur holds in his breath, unwilling to interrupt the fun. The 42 year old begins to gracefully walk backwards, totally caught up in a tiny dance with the food tray.

“Sssttttt,” he admonishes his own action while sliding the glass door. “Let’s give the kids privacy,”Arthur mumbles and covers the plates to keep breakfast warm.

In about 20 minutes he notices J chasing you towards the entrance, your rosy cheeks turning red when you bump into the guest. 

“Good morning,” you smile and let The Joker catch you.

“Easy prey,” he gropes a bubbly Y/N although if his older brother is present.

“Morning,” the reply triggers your boyfriend’s out of context comment:

“You cooked?!”

“Yeah,” Arthur gestures at the covered plates. “It’s ready to go.”

“Let me take a fast shower and brush my teeth. Are you coming?” J slaps you butt instead of another encouragement and you steal a piece of bacon to munch on the way up to the master bathroom:

“Thank you Arthur!”

“No problem,” he blows a rebel curl off his forehead, intrigued to see his sibling in a good mood; it’s a well-known fact The Joker didn’t have an abundance of fine days lately. Today must be an exception.

He’s actually the first one to arrive and Arthur has to ask:

“Where’s my sister-in-law?”

“She’s not your sister-in-law!” the sour tone underlines.

“I had you guys married,” the man insists.

“We didn’t agree to that!” The Joker hisses. “I barely tolerate her!” Arthur calmly lights up his second cigarette for the day, sharing wisdom with the feisty green haired menace:

“I wouldn’t take her for granted if I were you; one day you might wake up and realize she’s not even here. I talk from my own experience when I tell you it happened to me too: my relationship with the woman I loved was just an illusion, nothing more. Trust me when I tell you you’ll never feel such a deep disappointment again…”

“Ahhhh, I’m starving!” you pop up in the kitchen, completely unaware of the discussion they’re having. “Coffeeeeee,” you gush at the freshly brewed pot, excited to sip on the miracle drink.

“It’s impossible for us to hallucinate in the same time,” Arthur whispers. “Wanna check to make sure?”

J nods a yes and you’re suddenly trapped at the counter: Arthur grabs your right hand, his brother your left, both squeezing your fingers.

“I think you’re OK,” Mister Fleck concludes and you’re confused:

“What’s going on?”

“Confirming you’re real,” he admits on their strange experiment.

“Of course I’m real,” Y/N frowns, yet she has a vague idea regarding the mysterious behavior.

“Perfect; take your coffee and let’s eat,” J avoids expanding on the topic; that’s the best he can muster without revealing the slight panic at the thought you might be a product of his imagination.

*************

“I have a meeting at Savage Club this evening. Could end up profitable, depending on the terms. Would you care to accompany me?” Arthur offers to get The Joker out of the house for the heck of it.

“Nah…” the latest mutters, quite uncomfortable after his afternoon pills.

“Come on, baby; let’s go out!!! It’s been forever!” you implore because the proposal sounds super enticing. “I miss having fun,” you blur out and continue when his bitterness is obvious: “Not that it’s not fun staying home. Pleeeeaasseee, can we? I promise I’ll take care of you.”

“I don’t need you to take care of me; I’m not a child!” The Joker raises his voice and you are frustrated since no matter what you articulate it gets twisted.

“Why do you have to be like this?...” the rhetorical question is a clear statement of how much you hate conflict over trivial issues of no importance whatsoever.

Your other half believes otherwise.

“Like what, hm? Like what?! Explain so everybody can get an intelligible and logical breakdown!!” J yells for no reason but you are so done with his outbursts.

“Never mind,” you sniffle and stroll out on the terrace in order to avoid more bickering; today started so damned uplifting and you don’t know how to keep things together anymore.

When you give your all and you don’t receive too much in return, the good moments blur out in the background to the point of becoming insignificant.

“You’re a jerk,” Arthur affirms after he’s left alone with his sibling.

“Pfft,” The Joker rolls his eyes. “It’s the tumor,” he sarcastically emphasizes.

“Bullshit! It’s not the tumor, kid. And I’m taking her out, she earned it. Your crabby ass can stay here; Y/N is certainly due for refreshing fun!” the fierce answer provokes J’s resentment.

“Definitely not!!!”

“Watch me,” Arthur scoffs at his relative’s conduct, deciding to follow you outdoors.

You watch the busy city from the 30th floor and it’s safe to say you don’t really see it; the wrists loosely hanging over the railing cue him to approach with caution.

“I had this epiphany that you should escort me to Savage Club,” he tests the waters. “If you don’t fancy to attend the gathering you can always sit at the bar and have some drinks. Call me insane but I have this hunch you might want a distraction.”

“I can’t,” you regretfully inform. “I have to ensure J takes his medications and eats; what if he has an episode while I’m gone?... I simply can’t…”

“Plenty of people to supervise him; he’ll be ok.”

You don’t reply and Arthur lights up another cigarette, nonchalantly chatting with the quiet Y/N.

“Tell you how this will play: we’ll get ready and at 6pm we are leaving with or without the kid. If he joins it’s fine, if not… infinitely better,” he elbows a sulky Y/N. C’mon, put on a happy face! See?” he grabs the corners of his mouth and forces them into an eerie grin, eager to demonstrate his proclamation. “It’s not complicated, you just have to practice,” he moves his fingers to your face and elevates the corners of your lips, trying to mimic a smirk for a few seconds. “Tough crowd…” he grumbles when there’s no reaction. “Don’t make me take out the heavy artillery,” Arthur threatens. “I used to do stand-up comedy, you know?”

“… Did you?...”  you finally respond to his repeated attempts, pretending you are clueless of his skills.

“You should be aware I’m a tour de force nobody should reckon with,” Mister Fleck boasts, super confident he can make you laugh.

“Yeah, after you tell a joke there’s so much silence you can hear the crickets chirping all the way from New York!” J snarls because he tiptoed on the patio to spy on the conversation.

“Oh yeah?!” Arthur gets annoyed and without further delay he lays upon you one of the best masterpieces to ever emerge from his genius brain: “I hope my death makes more cents than my life.”

And now he waits… and waits…

“Told you before: it’s not funny,” The Joker reprises his march back to the Penthouse, thrilled at his brother’s failure when the unthinkable happens: Y/N bursts out laughing like crazy, not necessarily due to the pun being hilarious (she actually finds it kind of sad, that’s why she didn’t react sooner).

Arthur’s inflated ego makes him shout from the top of his lungs, ensuring the younger sibling can perceive his triumphant bragging:

“IT IS FUNNY!”

************* “Welcome to my humble kingdom,” Joker guides you towards the bar among the increasing ruckus his presence is creating among the audience.

Savage Club belongs to him and his “fans” meet here on a regular basis: a safe haven for the eccentrics, misfits and wackos, ready to do whatever necessary to please their role model.  

Arthur picks a microscopic crumb from the collar of his impeccable red suit while pulling a high chair for you:

“Take a sit,” he quickly glances at the huge mirror behind the counter to make sure his clown make-up is flawless: it took him an hour to get ready after you accepted his invitation. He’s usually faster yet the feminine company required auxiliary efforts; it’s not every day you steal a woman from her crib and take her out for invigorating entertainment.

The woman being your brother’s partner makes it even better.

“J is not answering my texts,” you sigh, already worried he might be sick.

“It’s his fault for acting up,” Arthur takes out a cigarette and seven hands holding lighters pop up around him. He chooses the one belonging to the pretty lady to his right, giving her a little wicked wink that visibly flusters the recipient of such undivided attention. “I’m going to my meeting, it should take too long,” he addresses Y/N and she nods, prepared to guzzle down much needed alcohol away from the grumpy boyfriend.

“Nothing happens to my sister-in-law,” Joker barks at one of the bouncers on his way to the VIP room; there’s no soul to argue the disclosure regarding your connection so he gets away with it.

“No worries, sir; she’s safe.”

“You misunderstand,” Arthur cuts him off. “This is for their safety,” he points at the mob. “In case you didn’t recognize her, that’s Y’N and she’s in a foul mood; we all heard rumors about her temper, hm?”

“Yes, Mister Joker.”

“Don’t be an idiot!” The Clown scolds. “My brother’s Mister Joker; I’m simply Joker. Or did you forget?!”

*************

1 hour and 13 minutes later

“How are we doing?” Arthur makes himself comfortable next to you, gesturing at the 8 empty shot glasses collected in a small pyramid.

“Amazing,” you slurp from your second Mai Tai cocktail and chew on the pink straw.  

“How many can shots can you handle?” he curiously interrogates the buzzed Y/N.

“About 5,” you snort and it makes him content to notice you’re carefree for once.

“Going overboard?” Arthur snickers and you lift your glass, lively concluding: “I’ll drink to that!”

He has no beverage so he snatches a beer bottle from a guy, inquiring:

“Did you touch this?”

“Not yet, sir.”

“It’s mine,” he clinks the container against yours and instructs: ”Here’s to going overboard; bottoms up!”

**************

“Look who’s home at 2 in the morning!” J criticizes when Y/N and Arthur show up in the living room at The Penthouse.

“I wasn’t aware we had a curfew!” your drinking buddy enunciates as you hide behind him, concealing your face in the soft fabric of his jacket.

You obviously thought your boyfriend would be in bed but nope, he waited for your victorious return.

“A-are you mad?” your slurred words dissipate in the air, closely followed by hiccups.

The Joker exhales, resigned: oddly enough he missed you, although you were absent for a whopping 5 hours and a half.

“No.”

“Oh my God!” you peek from beyond your human shield as if the opposite was stated. ”W-what are you gonna do?”

“You’ll see,” J finally takes his night meds: he postponed the remedy because he wanted to be awake for this magnificent after show.

“Oh my God!” you squeak, appalled. “W-what are you gonna d-do?” the repeated question prompts actual confessions:

“First, I’ll help you take a shower and brush your teeth…”

“Oh my God!” your eyes get big like this is the worst thing ever; the inebriated Y/N can’t connect the dots too well.

“Then we’ll have sex and I’ll be sweet; you won’t remember in the morning,” The Joker sneers.

“Oh my God!” you glare at Arthur completely dumbfounded, then at J, then at Arthur who’s sturdily holding your arm so you won’t fall.

“Stop teasing her!” he hisses.

“I’m literally replying to her quizzing.”

“W-what are you gonna do?” the plastered Y/N has to know again.

“This is your fault!” The Joker comes to grab you, exasperated. “I consider you responsible!”

“Cool,” Arthur proudly delivers his date to the rightful owner. “I’ll retreat to my room and leave you kids alone,” he waves and distances from the couple while blessing them: “By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you Nobody and Joker!”

“Shut the hell up!” his brother snaps, irritated at the persistent charade.

“You may kiss the bride!” Arthur mocks, positively not giving a crap about the rant: he’s an individual with a mission and won’t admit defeat that easily.

“Can you believe this shit?!” The Joker complains and shoves Y/N in one of the bathrooms downstairs. “Ewww, you smell like a distillery,” he rants while tugging on your clothes.

“Oh my God!” you whimper, distressed at his words.

“Ugghhh, you sound like a broken record!” The King of Gotham urges you to step in the shower and it doesn’t fail:

“Oh my God!”

“Seriously??!!” your actions skyrocket his blood pressure to unknown heights. “Take a break!”

“A-are you mad?” you stutter, the hot water making you even drowsier.

“I’m starting to be!!” he reprimands and you fakely sob since you can’t recall how to cry properly:

“W-what are you gonna do?”

The great Clown Prince of Crime huffs, convinced the universe unleashed you upon him to test his patience as punishment for past transgressions:

“Why me?!”

You rub your eyes and J turns off the water, bundling the intoxicated Y/N in a huge towel.

“Stupid helpless burrito,” he grunts and sweeps you off your feet, entirely done for the night.

Ahh, it sure feels nice and you bury your cheeks in his neck, burping in the process.

“Jesus!” he protests as you clumsily apologize:

“S-sorry baby…”

“I should push you off the balcony and be done with this ordeal!” he stumbles on the hallway, vexed.

The Joker really should have kept his opinion to himself since Pandora’s Box is automatically reopened.

“Oh my God!”

“I’m cursed,” the genuine declaration is accompanied by a soft kiss; despite the circumstances, The Joker is not that angry.

Arthur closes the door to his bedroom, delighted to have observed the scene:

“He kissed the bride,” the man inhales from the last cigarette of the day, flicking the bud out the window afterwards.  

 Also read: MASTERLIST

You can follow me on Ao3 and Wattpad under the same blog name: DiYunho.

[blackleatherjacketz]

My Brother’s Keeper: Chapter 10

Negan x Reader

Featuring: Alden

Summary: Your brother runs away from the Sanctuary and you pay the price.

Warnings: Mourning, Alcohol Consumption, Hurt/Comfort, Thoughts of Suicide

Word Count: 1641

Notes: This chapter is best when accompanied by Sir Elton John’s “Someone Saved My Life Tonight”

Read the rest of the story HERE!

Hours of somber silence in the backseat of Negan’s car made you more exhausted than you‘d anticipated. The Oxycontin from your orgasm lingered, mixing in with the fear, adrenaline and grief of the night’s events as it left you sick with attraction you couldn’t quite stifle. You wanted to hate him, to wish he was dead and never to see him again, but you couldn’t quite convince yourself to think any of those things.

You wanted to ask him a dozen questions that rattled around in your brain. Why did he kill Alex instead of giving him the Iron? Did something set him off or change his mind? Was it you? Was it Ezekiel? What would happen to the rest of your family now that Alex was gone? Was this all your fault? Did you do enough? Did you do too much? Above all else, you wanted to know if he still wanted you, and you hated yourself for wondering that.

The reality of their deaths hadn’t quite hit you yet, the numbness of grief still keeping you quiet as you walked down the hall, half expecting to see either of them waiting for you. It wasn’t until you finally arrived at your family’s quarters to deliver the news that your father screamed out a trail of expletives, throwing a lamp across the room before shoving into you with the brunt of his shoulder. He stormed out in a puffed-up silence, ignoring your intense need for compassion.

Your sister merely shook her head as tears fell silently down her face, embracing your sister in law as they both collapsed onto the floor. You stood there like a vacant vessel, a messenger they didn’t shoot as they embraced each other, wailing together like banshees as your body barely stood still. You were surrounded by family, yet all alone despite what you’d done to prevent that from happening. You needed some air, a drink, a cigarette or a shower, but you’d settle for just one of those right now.

You grabbed the bottle of whiskey your dad always kept in the cabinet for special occasions. It was half empty already, the label with the dancing devil on it almost completely peeled off as your fingerprints smudged the opaque glass container. You unscrewed the cap and took a swig, the red hot cinnamon burning into the cracks of your chapped lips as you made your way down the hall and out the front door. You didn’t drink very often, and you knew it would only take a few more sips before you started losing your senses. You didn’t want to mourn in front of the other Saviors, and you certainly didn’t want Negan finding out you’d taken to the bottle just yet.

Instead you found yourself climbing the outdoor staircase, one sip for each flight that you reached; a personal achievement if you took into account the high heels you were still sporting. The whiskey heated you up from the inside now, fiery alcohol seeping from your pores as you sweated your way up to the last flight of stairs. The wind was cool at the top of the building, blowing you this way and that as it made the pressure in your ears a thousand times worse.

You hadn’t realized that you’d been crying this entire time, mascara-stained tears dripping onto your neck and chest as you reached the final platform. You did your best to wipe them off, sniffing your swollen sinuses as you walked over to the concrete ledge of the building. Your head was pounding, the fluid in your head not coming out your eyes fast enough before the bottle of whiskey fell from your hands. You watched as it fell seven stories down, shattering into a thousand pieces in a silent glittering picture.

“Hey,” Alden’s voice rang in your ears, seeming so loud yet so far away as he slowly approached you. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

You winced as his words swam through the fluid in your head, bouncing off the walls of your sinuses before increasing the already painful pressure your tears had created. How did he get there? Did he climb up the ladder on the other side of the building and walk all this way? Did he run up all those flights of stairs in the middle of the Sanctuary to… it didn’t matter. Nothing did. Not anymore. You just wanted some peace and quiet, and you couldn’t even get that all the way up here.

“I think we’ve been through enough, don’t you?” His boots displaced the gravel as he walked toward you, their deafening crunch forcing your eyes closed in an attempt to shut out any excess stimulation. Enough, enough, enough! You’d seen and heard enough!

Alden leaned forward and inched his fingertips over your knuckles, squeezing your palm with trembling determination. In your heart of hearts you knew he was trying to help, that he was just as upset as you were, and hell, maybe he came up here for the same reason you did. But you wanted to be alone, to be as physically alone as you felt, and he wasn’t helping any.

“I don’t want to talk to anyone right now,” you admitted.

“I know you don’t,” he acknowledged your pain with a shaky lilt, “But maybe that’s why you should.” His voice was sweet like the summer air, its timbre a warm honey in the black tea of the Southern twilight. His eyes were just like yours as you turned to meet him, wet with tears as the moonlight masked his reddened sclera. He was more alone than you could ever be, yet here he was trying to help.

“I ruined everything.” Another tear fell from your cheek, landing on his hand as you finally squeezed it back.

“No, you didn’t,” Alden started, guiding you toward him with a flick of his wrist. “What happened tonight was terrible, but I can’t stand to lose anyone else, especially not you.” The corner of his mouth curled into a nervous smile as he forced a laugh.

“Why would it matter if you lost me? We’re not even that good of friends.” You wanted to distance yourself from him, to piss him off and make him leave.

“Sure we are.” He held your hand steadily, ignoring your poor attempt to push him away. “Remember that time when neither of us could sleep this winter? It was so cold, we both found ourselves huddling over the gas lantern in the middle of the library and we…” He licked his lips and laughed as he recalled the memory. “We read each other passages from Tolkien to keep each other awake?” He wrapped his arm around your waist. “Or that time when I had a sore throat and could barely speak, so you made Simon go out and find me a dry erase board while you gave me medicine to make me feel better?”

“Yeah,” you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, letting him pick you up off the ledge like a dance scene from an old black and white movie.

“Or that time when you saved that little girl by amputating her arm instead of just letting her go like Doctor Carson wanted?” The tears in his eyes seemed to dwindle down, the caramel in them shining through as he helped you stand up. “People need you here, whether you can see that now or not.”

“I guess.” You looked down at your feet, the high heels Negan gave you covered in dirt as you made your way across the roof. “My dad won’t even talk to me after I told him what happened. He probably thinks it’s all my fault, that I didn’t put out enough, or that Natalie would have...”

“Hey,” Alden whispered, placing both hands on your shoulders. “People grieve in different ways; they go through the stages in different orders.” He rubbed his thumb along the fine hair of your bicep, sending a warm and comforting shiver down your spine. “He loves you more than anything. Believe me, I know, he won’t shut up about his favorite daughter.”

“His favorite daughter?” Your brow furrowed. How could you be his favorite if he treated you the way he did?

“He just needs some time,” he reassured you. “We all do.”

“I thought Alex had time, I thought my mom did…” you blinked a tear away and looked up at the moon. “I don’t know what to think anymore.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling.” Alden dropped his head, shaking a few tears loose. “We just have to keep a part ourselves in all of this, no matter how hard it is. We have to keep going and hopefully someday we can be those people again.”

“What if I’m not that good person you think I am? What if I actually liked being with him, even though I knew… I knew what he would do?” You confessed.

“Well, then you’re safer than I thought.” He forced a wink and playfully nudged your shoulder, biting his bottom lip to hold back any more tears. “Look,” He took in a deep breath, glancing at you with that beautifully disarming face. “Negan doesn’t have to define you, just like the Saviors don’t have to define me.”

“Maybe not.” You sniffed and looked up at him.

“Just keep that person alive in there, no matter how bad it gets.” Alden let go of your shoulders and ran a hand through his sandy blonde hair, letting out the heaviest of sighs. “Simon said they’re assigning me to one of the outposts tomorrow, so, I won’t see you again after this.”

“Alden, they can’t…”

“They can, and they did,” he sighed, “Just survive for me somehow, alright?” He leaned in and kissed your cheek. “Promise?”

“Promise.”

-------------------

Tags: @annablack1102 @genevievedarcygranger @letsby @negans-network @negansdirtygirl22 @rasa1945 @chamberofsloths @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash @namelesslosers @mblaqgi @collette04 @bishsposts @haleyea @ptite-shit @jamiekingofmen @ibelongtonegan @chloejanedecker1, @divadinag @dxloverpunk @tylersblurrylittleface

[bioticgoddess]

The Captain and the Artist (2/?)

Summary: It’s 2023 and about damn time for Steve Rogers, the retired Captain America, to get a life.

Author’s Note: Like I said last time...nothing about this will be updated regularly. I have two other on-going projects and nothing that resembles a schedule. So like/subscribe and let me know if you want to be tagged in this or any other of my on going/on-hiatus works. 

Enjoy!

2. Coffee and Paint

It had been several months since he’d retired after coming back to 2023. He’d given the shield and title of Captain America to Sam; and now Steve was trying desperately to acclimate to his new role as logistician and administrative leader. How Nat and Tony balanced those two roles in addition to everything they did as “active duty” Avengers escaped him. Natasha in particular, after all, she lacked an AI assistant. 

The change was exhausting but felt right, like he was not only honoring his two lost friends but also making his own path while continuing their work. All the conference calls he’d seen Nat have with the other Avengers filled his days. Even got a taste of Carol’s,and Rhodey’s painful attempts at flirting. The late Russian had once said it was worse than watching him try to do the same with any of the women he was set up with. He’d come to realize she was right. Then there were the mountains of paperwork. Everything from determining which missions and where the terrestrially based personnel were needed to planning morale events. 

The only respites coming when Bucky or Sam dragged him out of his office, often times to ensure the blond either ate something or socialized with people in person. Taryn and Wanda had been enlisted in their efforts on more than one occasion. All the while, Tony’s advice rattled around in his mind. The insistence that Steve enjoy life gnawed at him, growling louder with each passing day. 

So here he was, sitting at one of the outdoor tables of a cafe he’d been to a thousand times before. It was the same one that sat in the shadow of the renovated Avengers’ Tower and New York’s Grand Central station. When they were kids, it had been a sandwich shop where he and Bucky would split roast beef sandwiches too big for either of them to reasonably eat. The kind of sandwiches that they could pack away now without issue thanks to their super soldier serum enhanced physiologies. Over the decades the cafe had expanded from that little corner deli into a proper Cafe and Delicatessen. The sandwiches were still roughly the size of car,  relatively speaking of course. 

“Hey you,” the golden haired waitress’s singsong voice and her bright smile was like sunshine in the heart of a storm; she pulled his attention back from wandering and into the present. “It’s been a while. How are you?” Bridgit was his usual waitress, he’d watch her go out of her way over the years to make sure his table was hers. She always gave him a complementary Madeline with his coffee and carved out time in her shift to talk with him about art and music, or whatever else they could come up with. During the five years after the Snap, he’d only managed to come in twice. The first had been like a donkey kick to his gut when she was nowhere to be seen and hadn’t been able to bring himself to ask after her then. The second visit, a few weeks later, she’d been there. Seeing her alive had been such a relief that he’d actually cried.  

She’d hugged him that day.

Apparently seeing Captain America alive had had the same effect on her. Or maybe not? Bridgit had only called him Captain America once - the first time she ran into him, at an art gallery, following the Chitauri Invasion of 2012. She’d been out with a relative (her grandfather, he remembered) and their conversation was a brief introduction and a thank you. Other than that instance, she always called him by his name. 

Her voice interrupted his thoughts again, “Are you okay Steve?”

“Hmm? Yes, sorry Bridgit, just thinking,” he nodded, noticing his usual coffee order already on the table. “When did you?”

“Saw you come in,” the gentle nonchalance of her tone was inviting and calm. Slipping her order pad into her apron she asked, “How are you holding up?” It was the same question she’d asked him almost four years earlier. The kind smile on her lips was mirrored in her eyes.

“It’s strange; not having Tony and Natasha around anymore but...if not for them we wouldn’t have everyone else back. You and I,” he motioned between them half-heartedly, “Might not be here.” The thought of her turning to ash like so many others had hit him with the same force that slamming into the ice had. Instead of being swallowed into unconsciousness and unintended frozen sleep, a bubble of anxiety welled in his chest. “But we are,” he continued, hoping he didn’t sound as suddenly panicked as he felt. Or that what he’d said wasn’t as rehearsed as it felt. “So we go on only this time I think it’s possible to go on.” 

Furrowing her brow and tilting her head ever so slightly to the left, Bridgit looked at him like she knew he wasn’t being honest. It was the same look he’d seen on Bucky’s oldest sister when the brunet fibbed about why Steve had yet another black eye or what led to their Church clothes being so turn and muddied that their mothers were up until the wee hours cleaning and mending them. He almost laughed, “Give me some time, we’re all still feeling the void they left.” 

“Alright,” eyes narrowed at him suspiciously, she pursed her lips for a moment - this time playfully, “How about your usual and you tell me about your latest project?” she meant the sketchbook sitting by his right hand. He’d forgotten it was there, open to a blank page as he stared off into space.

Broad smile spreading across his face, Steve nodded, “That’s an excellent idea.”

---

It had become routine, again. Several times a week Steve Rogers would collect his sketch pad or whatever book he was reading and trek to the diner. Most of the time he’d barely get in the door before Bridgit had a table ready for him. In this respect he wasn’t unique. He’d watched her give the same courtesy to several other regulars - some she waited on, others her coworkers helped. Invariably, however, she made sure that his table was her responsibility. They talked about food, art, music, and life. 

“You paint,” he asked skeptically one day, his plate scattered with the crumbs of good bread and in-house fried potato chips. It was the kind of jest meant to tease and coax her into sitting. His brow was furrowed and eyes sparkling in the midday light. His own sketchbook open with several charcoal pencils laying out along the inner layer of its spine. The whole thing was a challenge and one that she met with narrowed eyes and the clink of plates as she stacked his empty ones on her tray, the check long since paid. 

Turning abruptly she insisted, “Meet me at the Gallery Art Studio.” He knew it well. The small gallery was several blocks down from the tower and the diner. The artists who exhibited their work there ranged from painters, photographers, and sculptors to those who made daily-use art (pottery, weaving, quilts, etc). Over the course of the three or four story building, the kind of items and art displayed shifted from the daily to the collet/display only variety. It was all beautiful art. 

Grinning despite himself, Steve nodded, “Alright. What time?”

Thoughtfully she placed a finger tip to her pursed lips and looked up at the clouds overhead. They lazily floated past, obscuring the sun for a moment. When their rays reached down to the street and the diner’s outdoor tables, she winked, “Five?” That was three hours away now. 

“Okay, five it is,” he smiled. “So, you going to tell me about what you paint and paint with?” He realized, as those words left his lips, that she had told him little about herself. Yes, he knew she liked art and that she’d grown up in a small midwestern town with her mother, young brothers - two of them, and her grandparents. No, they hadn’t been farmers, working class all around - her grandfather had served in the 101st, same as Bucky and had been at the Hydra base he liberated in World War II. He absolutely thought she was beautiful, her smile a thousand watts and her eyes bright as stars. There was nothing superficial about Brigid but he knew so little about her. None of her likes and dislikes - save that she liked him well enough to idle and talk with him for longer than she probably should and that she like art. She’d had some constructive suggestions for a few of his own drawings. 

Winking at him again, she smiled broadly, and made a point of popping the last syllable in her answer, “Mmmm...Nope.” 

The singsong tone of her voice and the way he golden hair swished, an runaway lock curling as it trailed down her neck from her loose bun, set a warmth in his chest that Steve had forgotten was possible. As he collected his things and slung a knapsack over his shoulder, the first Captain America stealthily he turned his head - under the guise of rubbing his brow and putting on sunglasses - to watch her at the register before heading off.

----

The intervening hours dragged on. He had a meeting with General Ross that just would not end. Even Bucky and Sam were starting to get agitated. Wanda and Taryn had set a notebook between them and were having their own private discussion within its pages. He’d given up making them pay attention months ago, both had enough focus on the meeting to chime in if the topic changed. Sam was still fighting for *the* Shield. Most of the brass wanted Steve to continue carrying it - he’d refused and repeated yet again that it was Sam’s now. 

One of Ross’s associates, a General whose name he hadn’t bothered to learn, suggested - not for the first time, “Why not permit Sergeant Barnes to be the new Captain America?” And just like he had every other time, Bucky sat stiff as a board, turning ghost white at the suggestion. 

This time, however, once the Inhuman put her hand on his, he nodded and refused outright, “No. I don’t want it. Steve gave it to Sam. He’s the only  one of us who can be Captain America. He’s earned it.”

“Miss Lantz,” he addressed her for the first time and the brunette looked up with a scowl on her face. Steve just hoped she remembered their discussion earlier about not cursing out a Four Star General. He might be an ass but he could still make all of their lives miserable. “What do you make of all this? You have been exceedingly quiet given your fraudulent death, involvement with... the Avengers.” They all knew what this short balding man had meant and even General Ross seemed relieved he hadn’t outright said Given your relationship with Sergeant Barnes.  

The hum of biotics filled the room momentarily. This time Bucky squeezed her hand. “Sir, my opinion is that you should honor Captain Rogers’ decision and leave me out of it,” the stiffness in her voice was unnatural. He knew the pair would disappear later to their room or the gym and Bucky would have an anxiety crash. They weren’t as frequent now as Steve understood they’d been in Wakanda but he knew the signs. She, on the other hand, had a routine for taking care of him that the retired Avenger took notes on whenever he could.

God he was jealous. Even now, in a meeting he was supposed to be focused on, a part of his attention noted the little gesture and touches between the pair. The kind of thing he’d seen between Clint with Laura ,the brief affair that was Bruce and Nat, and the way Pepper and Tony had been - even when they were at odds.  He’d swallowed those feelings for years. And it  was the one hole in his life he couldn’t quite fill and he reminded himself silently that he had made the right choice. “You can’t go back, she would kick your ass,” he thought, lost in a day dream that - as they often had the last few years - turned to Bridgit. 

“Captain,” General Ross called, he looked impatiently at the blond. 

Clearing his throat, Steve apologized, “Sorry Mr. Secretary, was thinking about all this and I missed the last bit.”

Sam and Bucky shared a dubious look. Wanda jotted something down in their little notebook and elbowed Taryn. 

Rolling his eyes, the Secretary of State grumbled, “We’ll revisit this discussion next week. Until then, the Shield stays in the Avengers Vault.”

“Yes, sir.” 

There was a click and the hologram popped out of existence. “Well that was terrible,” Wanda shook her head. 

“You two have no idea,” Bucky kissed the Inhuman’s temple as she “mhmmed” in agreement with the other woman. Steve couldn’t help wondering if Bridgit might… “You want to go with me?” He’d missed the first part of his best friend’s question.

Blinking he asked, “What?”

“I need to go for a run or to the gym. Starting to feel....penned in...so I need to do something,” he was fidgeting. It was that anxious crash, “Did you want to go with me.” 

Rubbing the back of his head, Steve apologized - his second in fifteen minutes, “I’m sorry Buck. I have some stuff I need to take care of. Rain Check?”

“Yea...um...hey Sam, you in,” he asked sheepishly, blue eyes darting to the Falcon/new Captain America. They’d become closer, though not yet friends, since coming back from The Snap. The fact that Bucky was willing to invite him along, to trust him if the anxious crash turned into something more, was telling in ways Steve hadn’t expected. It made him smile. The team was starting to heal, really and truly. 

Nodding, the other man grinned, “Yea man. Let’s go.” They marched out of the conference room. Sam patting Steve’s shoulder as he passed, “It’ll work out.” It was clear which Super Soldier he was talking to in that moment.

“Yea, I hope so,” he wasn’t talking about getting this new Council to accept Sam as Captain America. He knew that was going to shake out just fine and sooner or later they’d have to accept his choice of successor. Nor was he talking about Bucky - Wakanda and Taryn had and were seeing to that. 

His eyes darted to the clock as both Taryn and Wanda filed out, a few steps behind the other two Avengers. The older brunette had volunteered to send her meeting notes - not the ones with the Sokovian girl - to the Avengers at-large members like Clint and Scott. Wanda was right on her friend’s heels when she turned to Steve suddenly and asked, “Are you alright?”

“Yes, why,” he shrugged, hoping he didn’t look as distracted as he felt.

“You seem...distracted,” her observation was proof enough that his effort had failed.

Yawning he shrugged again, “Tired. It’s been a long few weeks.” It was a lie that he could tell Wanda didn’t entirely believe but he also knew she wouldn’t press him for answers. It was a small favor when she narrowed her eyes at him and turned to finish the walk to the common room. 

She called back, “I’m here when you want to talk about it. We all are.” Then the elevator dinged and any sign of her was gone. 

“Ah shit,” he grumbled, head in his hands. His phone buzzed with the first alert he’d set: “MUSEUM -  BRIDGIT: 30 MIN” flashed across his screen. He needed to get out the door now.  

--

He’d barely gotten there on time, a feat he both applauded and kicked himself for accomplishing. There she was, waving at him with the same bright smile she always wore. She’d changed her clothes from the pink and white button down with it’s white apron that she wore at the diner to a cute sundress. The skirt was splashed with abstract yellow flowers on a white background. She had a cropped, long sleeve yellow cardigan on with the sleeves pushed up to her elbows. “Wow,” he mouth reflexively.

“You made it,” she beamed.

Steve felt the butterflies mixed with awe as he walked over to her. It reminded him of the first time he saw Peggy. She’d taken his breath away then. Bridgit was doing that now. “Wouldn’t have missed this for the world,” he took her hand and kissed the back of it, like a gentleman. Or at least like his mother had taught him to do before the war. 

His eyes flitted up to her flushed face, her lower lip caught between her teeth. A soft giggle bubbled in her throat and she led him into the gallery. They were there for a specific exhibition, displayed in the building’s top floor. That didn’t stop them from stopping to take in the rest of the art throughout the building.

“Here we are,” Bridgit pronounced when they finally reached the featured exhibit. Her smile broadened as Steve moved a step forward, regarding the pictures. It was a collection of water colors done by two artists, both had signed with small stamps similar to the ones found on Japanese artwork. The difference, however, being that these were made of English initials superimposed in a design clearly inspired by those used in Japan. 

Turning his bright blue eyes from the paintings to her face, he could see her beaming. It was the kind of pride that comes with accomplishment and being around people appreciating what she’d - oh hell. He cursed himself right then and there, attention snapping back to the central picture. It was a watercolor of New York harbor, boats moored around the Statue of Liberty. In the background a pink and purple sunset gave it a somber look, even Lady Liberty herself looked like she was crying. In the panel next to it, the same island only there were fewer boats and what looked like whales. In the third panel it was black behind the statue save for the pastel lines and dots used to impose fireworks into the sky. 

Why hadn’t he figured it out sooner. Studying the red stamp in the corner he could finally make out the laters, all jumbled together: BRT. They stood for Bridgit Rose Tofte -- her full name. The color drained from his face. He’d been admiring her paintings in this gallery for years now. There were a few portraits of the Avengers - it had started with one of himself, of course, from the New York Incident. Then one of Tony, God rest his soul, flying over New York. Then Natasha and Clint caught having coffee. He remembered them all.  

The landscapes were just as pointed,  all showing progression over time. He remembered a piece showing Strawberry Fields, four panels - one in each season - with children and families going through the park. The vibrance of the fall leaves had really caught his eye then. This one,  like all the others was titled in terms of time as well: “1840” - the number of days between the snap and when the world celebrated getting everyone back from The Snap. “Bridgit,” he breathed, turning back to her, “These are yours.”

“Sure are,” she rocked on her heels, the air of innocence around her was intoxicating. “Well, mine and Lizzie’s,” the other waitress at the cafe, she hadn’t worked there in several years, however. 

“You’ve listened to me rave about your art for years,” he was bright red and the sheepish boy from Brooklyn spoke in place of the First Avenger, “I must have sounded like...oh god…”

Looking up at him, Bridgit’s smile broadened, “You were always so complementary and what suggestions you had were helpful.” She pulled him gently around the corner. “This one, was a special request, part of a pair - it’s sister is with the commissioners.”

He furrowed his brow as they moved. What he saw took the Captain aback. It was a grayscale of Tony, his nearly trademark shades on with the Ironman helmet reflected in his lenses. Beneath it, neatly printed on a white placard beneath the number “3000” was the following: “[...] As we remember him? Remember Tony Stark was more than a man, he was Iron Man. His life was a lesson that change can bring out the best in a person. Live as he lived and always - remember. - P. Potts, 2023”. Pepper had asked her to do this? 

The blonde let out a squeak when Steve wrapped his arms around her from behind. She could feel his nose and lips pressed into the crown of her head. Softly he whispered, “Thank you.” He kissed the top of her head almost reflexively. It was simple and had so much more attached to it than he realized in that moment. 

Blushing, she smiled and chewed her lower lip, “You’re welcome.” The shudder that ran up her spine with the light kiss to her hair  made her face redder. That had happened. Captain America - Steve Rogers - had kissed her. Sure it was only her hair but....he did it all the same. 

“What do you say we go get some coffee and you can tell me about how you get some of the views you do on your pictures,” he whispered, failing at sounding as suave as Bucky would have once managed. He could picture the brunet shaking his head, brow level and eyes narrowed. If he didn’t know better he’d have sworn the other Super Soldier was there in the Gallery.  “Or we could…” 

His arms had loosened around her and Bridgit turned to face him. Looking up at him, she pressed her hand to his chest, “Coffee sounds like a plan. There’s this place I know.” 

Hands linked they slipped out into the newly dark streets of New York. Steve Rogers smiling a broad goofy smile the whole way. 

--

Post note: Because we all deserve this ray of sunshine right here...

[halloweennut]

Hireath, Part Three

Things start to go down

Maricruz stopped looking into the future for herself and sister a long time ago. Rosie clung to the past for distraction - so many stories laid out, just for her - but Mari found little comfort in the uncertainty of the future, the possibilities scared her. The future wasn’t stable like the past, but she wished it was. At the very least, Esteban gave something resembling that stability in his ever-continuing visits and he didn’t lie to them - Oracles are hard to lie to, Mari counted in the very last. He wanted little but brought plenty, like oranges and soft new blankets. 

She wanted to dare to hope that the future was changing for her and Rosita, but the thought of looking and the thought of being let down, left alone in the cave forever kept her from doing so. The future came tomorrow, but until then, Mari let herself enjoy the present. 

Esteban had come to visit for the day, bringing oranges and crumbly, sweet cookies that left powdered sugar everywhere. He seemed slightly sad, more so than usual, but was more than willing to smile at them and tell Rosie however many stories she wanted. The sinking feeling that change was coming sank like a rock in Mari’s stomach. 

“You have almost all the riddles and payments, don’t you?” Mari asked, during a lull. Esteban looked at her, face falling, but nodded. Rosie looked between the two of them, concerned.

“Chatana is making the shawl as we speak,” he replied. “I caught the fireflies last night and found the spider webs for the thread. Ash found a toy mouse. We’ll be bringing everything soon.”

“And then you’ll get want you want,” Mari tried to hide the tremble in her voice, raising to her feet. Orange peel fell from her skirt. “And you’ll never come back!”

“I never said-” Esteban couldn’t finish his sentence as Mari ran past him to her and Rosie’s room. “Maricruz, wait!”

His plead went unheard as she hid herself away, trying to force down the shake in her chest and hands. She didn’t want to have to dye Esteban’s hair blue, and it wasn’t even his fault. But none of them could change anything. Mari sniffed and tried to ignore the sound of approaching footsteps. Esteban crouched down, slipping into the room with Rosie trailing close by. He kneeled in front of the two of them, and she forced herself not to look at him.

“I promised I wouldn’t make you two upset again, didn’t I?” he asked softly, gently tipping her head to look at him. Mari nodded. “And me not visiting would only break that. Maybe I won’t be able to visit as often, but I will do what I can to come see you two. I can’t have you dying my hair blue just yet.” 

Rosie giggled at that, and it brought a smile to Mari’s face. Esteban gently ruffled Rosie’s curls and wiped a few stray tears that escaped Mari’s eyes off her cheek. “I promise I’ll do what I can to see you both.”

“Promise?” Rosie asked, anticipating what her sister would ask. Mari nodded in agreement. Esteban sat back for a moment, dragging a pinky over where his heart would be. 

“Cross my heart,” he promised. “Do you need a few minutes alone, Mari?”

Mari rubbed at her eyes once again, and shook her head no. If they weren’t going to see him as often, she might as well enjoy the present as much as she could. 

-

When Esteban arrived back, Chatana was proudly showing the shawl to Ash. It was a dazzling piece of weaving, all in rainbow threads that would make even the proudest Avaloran noblewoman coo over it. Even Ash’s eyes had turned appreciative of the handiwork. 

“We’re finally done then,” Ash said. Chatana gave her an odd look. 

“Absolutely not! The shawl isn’t done,” she replied. “I just need to block it overnight and then it will be done.”

“She’s a perfectionist,” Pili nodded. Chatana had restart the shawl twice and repsun the fibers once when she wasn’t happy with the weave or the heft of the yarn. It only frustrated Ash, and the added delay only infuriated her more. 

“It’s a shawl for a few children,” Ash replied. “Do you really think they’d care?”

“I care! I will not let any of my creations go out into the world imperfectly,” Chatana said. “So drop it.”

The two stared each other down before Ash stormed off to make sure the fireflies were still alive. Esteban, feeling safe enough to approach, went to examine the shawl himself, an action Chatana was more than happy to oblige. He ran a hand over the threads, nodding at the pleasant weight and fine weave. 

“Its beautiful,” he said, and bit his tongue about how much Mari would adore it. “Anyone would be proud to own it.”

“I know! It’s one of the finest things I’ve made,” Chatana chirped, holding it up to the light. Pili huffed. “Besides you, Pili.”

“I suppose tomorrow’s the day then, isn’t it?” Esteban asked. It was an obvious question.

“It is, and it will be another day closer until you two have Avalor, I have my diadem and a seat of power, and we can be done with everything,” Chatana said, gently folding the shawl. “Until then, I’m going to go finish this. Tomorrow comes our destiny, so get some rest.”

Tomorrow was coming, but Esteban wasn’t sure he was ready for what tomorrow or destiny even meant anymore. Sleep didn’t come until late in the night, so unwilling was his mind to face the morning. He woke up exhausted, but hid it away as he made his way towards the others. Pili was double-checking the items as Chatana and Ash chatted, giving only half an ear to their conversation. 

“They better be as good as people say they are, otherwise this will have been a waste,” Ash groused.

“I promise you, they are,” Chatana replied. Do you really think Tormenta would have gone through all that trouble if they weren’t?”

“True...but what of after we get our answers?” Ash asked. “What happens then?”

“We leave and use what they told us, obviously,” Pili responded. Chatana nodded. 

“But others could use them to stop us, couldn’t they?” Ash countered. “They aren’t exactly aligned to malvagos or anyone’s cause!”

Chatana raised an eyebrow, and Esteban stared hard at Ash. “And? That’s their purpose - to provide visions.”

“I don’t like leaving loose ends,” Ash replied. “My purpose is to defeat Avalor.”

“Are you implying we-” Esteban snapped, before cutting himself off. “No, absolutely not!”

“Agreed. That’s dark, even for us, Ash,” Chatana replied. “But I see your concerns. Perhaps we just seal the entrance so no one else can find them?”

“No!” Esteban exclaimed. “Haven’t they been through enough without you wanting to destroy them or seal them away?”

“I also see your hesitations, and while they are children,” Chatana turned towards him. “There are always plenty of children.”

“Children aren’t as replaceable as your creatures, Chatana!” he replied. “I will not allow harm to come to them!”

“Ugh, you say the same thing about Elena and the rest of your former familia, Esteban,” Ash said. “Do you really want to wait until they help destroy you too?”

“If that’s what it takes to keep them, all of them, from harm and from you, so be it,” Esteban said. “I’m done.”

“Done? What do you mean, done?” Ash followed him as he began to storm off. “You cannot just-”

“I can, and I will! I’m done playing this game, Ash,” Esteban snapped. “I meant it when I said no harm comes to my family, and I will not let you do such a thing! Nor will I have anymore part of it!”

“You’ve been playing us all along, haven’t you?” Chatana asked. 

“Told you he was the worst!” Pili said from her shoulder. “Pulling a long con on you two - too bad he had to go and end it early.” 

Esteban didn’t answer, but his grip on his staff tightened as he watched Ash’s face turn into a snarl. Before she could even reach for her tamborita, he slammed the staff onto the ground, and a boqato spell rang out into the empty space where he once stood. Esteban missed her shout of her frustration as he stumbled into the cave, his mind only frantically running through the next few steps he had to take. 

“Maricruz! Rosita!” he shouted, running through the booby traps. He no longer cared about setting them off. Each snapped at his heels or swung for his chest, but he dodged them all, only caring about getting to the platform. The girls rushed out of their room, watching in shock at Esteban’s frantic running towards them. Relief flashed over their faces as he leapt onto the platform.

“Esteban? What’s wrong?” Rosie asked, eyes wide and clinging to her sister. 

“We need to go,” he said, out of breath. 

“But we can’t!” Mari said. “The chains-”

“I’m teleporting us out of here,” Esteban said. “All that matters is that we leave and leave quickly.”

“But why?” Rosie asked. He didn’t want to reply, and she saw that. So she blinked once, twice, and her eyes opened in horror. “They can’t do that!”

“I won’t let Ash and Chatana harm anyone in my familia, and they won’t use you to do it,” Esteban reassured her, quickly picking her up. “Especially since you two are included in that now.” 

Mari looked up at him with wide eyes at that. “You mean that?”

“I do,” he nodded. “Now hold onto my arm. If this works, we will need to hit the ground running.”

“It will,” Mari blinked twice. “It will work.”

Without a moment’s hesitation more, Esteban hit the floor with his staff. With a flash of light, the three were gone, leaving only two chains to hit the floor, runes dying out as their charges disappeared. They landed just outside the mouth of the cave, and the girls blinked in the bright light of the morning. Esteban, as much as he longed to give them time to enjoy the outdoors that had been denied from them, couldn’t linger long. He quickly began to take them down the mountain, hurdling over rocks and through bush and trees. It wasn’t long until the three of them heard the tell-tale signs of two sorceresses approaching. 

“Esteban!,” Mari cried, and the fear in her voice cut worse than a blade. Rosie had her face buried in his chest, trying to block out what she heard or could see. He quickly slammed the staff on the ground, and they flashed away once more. The small group landed by a creek, stumbling through the chilled, mountain water. Esteban frantically looked around for something, anything to help them, when, surprise of all surprises, Valiente of all creatures, was just down the creek bed, startled at the sudden appearance of his master. He wasn’t in the best of shape - mane and tail matted, and coat unbrushed, but at least he seemed to have been fed. The saddle wasn’t his, but was perfectly sized for someone much smaller. 

“Valiente! You little-,” whatever word about his previous betrayal died on Esteban’s tongue. “You miracle.”

He quickly took the girls over to the horse, setting Rosie in the saddle and lifting Mari up behind her, despite their protests, before grabbing Valiente’s bridle. 

“Go home, go back to the castle! Go as fast as you can go, and stop for nothing! Understand?” Esteban ordered. The horse whinnied, and stomped his hooves. He looked up at the girls. “Hold on to him and don’t let go. Don’t stop until you’ve reached the castle.”

“What about you? We can’t leave you behind!” Rosie protested. 

“I’ll be with you again soon,” Esteban said. He quickly shed his jacket and secured it over them, and just as quickly handed Mari the reigns.  “Valiente knows the way home, so you just have to hold on.”

Mari nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat. Rosie couldn’t do that as easily, and tears flowed over her cheeks. He ignored the sight and grabbed the bridle, leading them to a path through the mountains. A goodbye fell flat in his throat, and before he could do anything else, hit Valiente on the flank, spurring him to motion. Esteban ignored the startled yelps of the girls as his horse sped away. He knew he should have started running to protect himself, but he stood firm, planted to the ground. 

No more running. 

Not anymore. 

Esteban watched as the girls grew farther and farther away, even as Ash and Chatana finally caught up to him.

“They’re getting away!” Ash shouted, reeling onto Esteban. “You are going to PAY for what you’ve done. After we get those girls.”

Chatana looked ready to take flight. Ash had a spell primed to go. 

“I’m already paying,” was the last thing they said before a loud snap of staff upon stone echoed around them, and the three of them disappeared in a flash of green runes. Mari watched them disappear, watching over her shoulder as she and her sister were carried away. Her eyes stayed on the spot until her vision went blurry with tears, but she couldn’t let them fall. She had to stay strong for her sister and try to look forward on their path and not anywhere else, just like she always had, and set herself to always do.  

[macbetha]

Bad people get lucky. 

Haru endured overdoses, gunshots wounds, and complete devastation only to wake up to a new life with an angel of a man smiling down at him. He was given a soul that he never deserved but he tries to live up to the excellence of purity, like Makoto, though it’s like trying to rival God – perfect. But God takes care of old dogs, drunks, and devils. Justice for all just isn’t fair. The women’s prison in Iwatobi makes for brutal living conditions, especially for those on Death Row. Capital punishment is new to the city, especially for females, and Haru would be conflicted about it were he not sitting in the outdoor visitation center with someone who deserves to die far more painfully than lethal injection. Miho Amakata survived like a Lazarus of her time. Corro’s bullets didn’t hit the right organs and Haru’s gun couldn’t land home in her brain. The fall from the rafters might have paralyzed her but she sits in her wheelchair like a throne and Haru hates her for it. His only solace is that she’s doomed to agony as long as her heart keeps beating - bones didn’t heal right and his bullet might not have killed her but it left her with a forever-migraine, which is worlds of satisfying. Her delusions are a nice touch, too.  She mulls over their conversation, taking a pull of the cigarette Haru gave her as a bribe. She lost an arm to amputation – it was mangled from burns, shriveled up. There’s no left foot and she lost layers of skin on one side of her face, leaving behind bubbled scars. One iris is moonlit with blindness. An eye for an eye. After a minute, she says, “Nah, you’re not a good man. People can’t do what you’ve done even with what you’ve been through. But you try. That’s all that matters. Don’t see why you do it though.” Haru works his jaw, chin scrunching. “Wouldn’t expect you to.” Miho’s eyes flit upward. “You know better than anyone that you don’t win fights by being soft. That’s all life is – a fight.” She rolls her cigarette between two fingers, holding it more gently than she ever did her own children. “We’re all just pigs in a slaughterhouse, all of us.” When she faces him, Haru sees that she’s peeled every lash from her waterline in a fit of nerves. Miho’s voice falls to a dreamy whisper of grandeur. “But imagine being the wolf. That slaughterhouse is suddenly an endless feast that’ll last you forever.” Haru physically resists the urge to recoil, but he never cowers away from her stare. “What happens when the farmer barges in with a gun? He’ll shoot the wolf, not the pigs.” She snorts, pursing her colorless lips around the cigarette. “Those pigs will die anyway and they won’t go out as nicely as a bullet to the jaw. They spend their little lives miserably, packed together so tightly in trucks that their guts pop out of their asses.” She says this like she’s imagining it, but not in the disturbed way that she should – it’s as if she’s admiring a profound piece of art. “They’re considered the lucky ones if they make it to that slaughterhouse where they’re burned alive in a scalding tank.” She shakes her head, entirely pleased. “And all that wolf got was a bullet.” Miho watches him in half-lidded pensiveness as she takes another drag, her eyes sunken and swollen all at once. She keeps looking at him even as she taps out her ashes, and he watches them fall like snow into the yellowed grass. “Must be hard for you,” she sighs. “Knowing I’m going to die so quietly by a sweet little injection when all you want to do is gut me in the street. I bet you fantasize about it – I see it in your eyes.” Her voice is not that of antagonizing smugness; it’s a strange indifference that speaks of faint curiosity. Haru has thought of nothing else for so much of his life, but thinking the world was rid of Miho only to be sitting across from her years later – it’s violating beyond comprehension. He says, “There’s no point in wasting my thoughts on you.” Though he does every day – he’s trying, at least. Miho gives a considering hum, a shrug in her mouth. “Don’t know anything better you have to think about.” She looks him over, the breeze struggling through her matted hair. “You’re not the type of person who trusts peace; that’s just the calm before storm after storm.” She gazes at the tree line beyond the towering fence, squinting in the beating sunlight. The glare beats off the chrome in her wheelchair and sweat creases her frown lines. “Peace is such an empty promise. You won’t get anything as quick as a gun to the mouth if you trust it.” A hazy smirk twitches her lips. “You walked into the scalding tank the moment you walked into your husband’s arms.” She snorts, taking a pull and croaking through the smoke, “Well, more like he did.” A wave of heat clenches his muscles, hugging his lungs from all sides. “Don’t you fucking talk about him.” “Fine, sorry.” He reels when he should be adapted to her disturbing mood swings. Miho lifts her brows. “I’m not saying he’s a bad person – he’s good and that’s why you’re wrong for him.” Haru won’t argue with that but he doesn’t want to hear such words coming from the devil herself. Miho leans back, rolling her wrists on the armrests. Haru could slit those dark veins open so easily, so quickly. Miho says, “I think about him almost more than I do you. What kind of person could have a heart so hungry that they’d rip themselves open, just for you?” She gives him a knowing look. “A good person. Just another little pig.” The acidic burn of nausea rolls up his throat because he can’t do this, he just can’t. But his whole reason for coming here was to protect Makoto, and that is the only way he can stay composed instead of collapsing to scream into the dirt. “But anyway, to answer your initial question,” she says, “I don’t know anything about a gang that used a scorpion as its figurehead. Iwatobi’s always had a system: Bloodhounds owned the outskirts, Rough Rabbit claimed the railways and the slums, Honeyblade had all the pussy in the city. Freebird was the blood of Iwatobi – veined every alleyway with floods of the best vice, and Diamond Back simply did whatever they wanted, but not too much of it. They’d rather have their hand in a little bit of everything than pool their fortune into girls or drugs.” His shoulders drop. “So there’s never been any others?” “Not with our level of influence, no.” Her voice tightens in gleeful depreciation. “There were brief tries: the Bladefang bears, the Redback gators. All attempts were as pathetic as their names. The streets were painted in thug guts and they were quickly forgotten.” “But no scorpion.” “Not from what I remember, no.” Her eyes crinkle in a smug squint. “And I know everything.” She takes a drag and hisses out the smoke through her teeth. “You sound like you haven’t even considered that this could be a new gang.” He shakes his head, at a hopeless loss. “There’s no gangs in Iwatobi anymore. Nobody would be brave enough to try something like that after we all fell years ago.” She startles a laugh that makes him jump. “No gangs in Iwatobi?” Her chuckle tapers off with pity. “Oh, you broken little bird. There is no Iwatobi without gangs. We are our own world.” She tips her head, considering. “This is actually the easiest time for a newcomer to rise to power now that all of you are out of the way.” In a last desperate attempt to find clarity, he says, “Have you ever heard of Hiyori Tono?” “No and I’d remember if I had.” She casts a glance at the prison’s silhouette. “Remembering is all I do nowadays.” Remembering the thirst for blood, Haru’s sure. “He’s a distant relative of Pietro’s. He just came to Iwatobi.” “Then he’d have nothing to do with any gang that isn’t Diamond Back, dear. Even if he doesn’t want it, his loyalty is only in being a viper; it’s in his blood no matter how ‘distant’ he is.” She sucks the last pinch of the cigarette. “If this new gang is threatening enough for you to ask me about it, I’d advise that you get ready; doesn’t seem like they’re intimidated by the fall of the old gangs. They’ve learned from your mistakes – possibly. Time will tell if they’re in it for shortfall glory or if they were made for this life.” He’s too defeated to say anything; he hopes that he’ll be able to stand under the weight of devastation, but the heat has drained him. Makoto told him to be careful about getting hot when his iron is so low. Haru should have listened – he always should have listened. Miho’s frown grows anxious but it’s merely her wearing the expression as a mask of learned behavior, just like all sociopaths do, but the worry in her voice is… confusing. “Are you afraid of the threat or what you’ll have to do about it?” “I’m not doing anything about,” he snaps. “I’m done with all that, with – all of it.” She rolls her eyes in exasperation before sobering up. “You won’t die,” she promises. “When the time comes, you will do what is necessary without hesitation.” He flinches when she cups his cheek, her thumb rasping over it. She smiles. “Because I made you. You’re my little wolf. You will die so sweetly with your husband and it will be everything you always dreamed of – when you’re old, when you’re sleeping.” “You said he was a pig.” “Mm, not with you,” she says. “Not when he’s got you like this.” His eyes widen as she leans closer, her whisper that of a mother’s fondness. “You will die like a wolf. I’ll make sure of it.”

When he gets home that night, the dog rushes him as usual - Tango yips and scrambles up so fast that he trips on his three legs, but he snuggles up to Haru’s knee and he chuckles. He pats his ears before toeing off his shoes, balling up his jacket and tossing it in the direction of the coat rack because he is just too tired to unearth a fuck to give. He adjusts Makoto’s flannel tighter around his middle, hugging himself as he rounds the entry corridor. He follows the soft flush of gold lamplight to the living room and is greeted by a gentle surprise.  Makoto sits on the floor with Namiko, her back to him as he frowns at the iPad screen. He squints behind his glasses. “Nami-chan, how’d you even find this braiding tutorial? This is like, thirty minutes long.”  She kicks her feet with an impatient huff. “Papa said I could watch somethin’ on his iPad and I heard Gou-chan talkin’ ‘bout how Daddy used to braid her hairs, so I want it too.”  “Hair, just hair.” Makoto snorts, a grin twitching his mouth as he weaves his fingers through the complicated twists in her white curls. “And what did Daddy say when you told him that you wanted him to braid your hair?” “He cried. No, Nami baby, just come color my tattoos instead! He felled on the couch like a princess. Papa tried, though.” “And?” She puffs out her chest and scrunches up her face, hardening her voice. “Nami, my hands are too big for this, you know Papa can’t do these pretty things. C’mon, let’s play with your dollhouse. I think he likes dolls more than me. He likes my ponies mostest.” Makoto sings a laugh, eyes crinkling shut. Haru leans on the doorframe, tipping a dreamy sigh with affection all warm in his chest. Makoto pinches his tongue between his teeth and ties off her hair, saying, “Well, you’re lucky I’m the braiding champion of Iwatobi. I’ve been doing Ran’s hair since she was little like you.” He flips the braid over her shoulder for her to see and she grabs at her hair with absolute stars in her eyes. “That good enough?” “Yes, yes!” She looks up at Haru and kicks her socked feet, pointing the end of her braid at him. “Hi, Haru-chan! Look!” “I see,” he grins, padding over to them. Makoto smiles from the floor and squeezes Haru’s ankle in greeting before Haru bends down to peck his hair, cradling the back of his head. Namiko makes grabby hands for him and he props her on his hip with a grunt, knees wobbling before he braces them. “You look very pretty.” She’s fit to burst into light, she beams so hard. Makoto leans back on his hands and one of the cats makes use of the open space in his lap, curling up as Makoto glances at the clock. “Namiko’s spending the night, so I think it’s time she goes to bed. Rin left her some pajamas in the bathroom.” “No,” she groans, flopping onto Haru’s chest with every bit of Rin’s dramatics. Haru hides his smile in her hair and takes her to the bathroom, leaving her to change. When she comes out and he takes her hand to lead her to the guest bedroom, she tugs him to a stop. “Wanna sleep with you.” She digs her toes, clad in footie pajamas, into the carpet. His brows crease, cradling her hand a bit firmer. “Are you scared?” She worries her lip messily, big eyes cast to the floor. “I like sleepin’ with Daddy. He comes 'n gets me out of bed when Papa goes to work so I sleep with him.” He frowns. “Rin comes and gets you at 3 in the morning?” Haru’s brother is working a brutal shift right now. She blinks and replies with the matter-of-factness only a child possesses. “I don’t know. I’m 6. I can’t read clocks.” Haru chuckles to himself and leads her to the master bedroom. “Fine,” he sighs, picking her up since she’s not tall enough to climb the mattress herself. “But don’t steal my blankets.” Namiko sticks her tongue out and snuggles under the covers, hugging Haru’s pillow to her, of course. Before he can leave, she perks up. “Can I play your phone?” “You need to –” “Just ten minutes! It’ll make me sleepy.” Haru gives her a flat look and she whines, “It’s Saturday, please-zuuh.” He rolls his eyes before tossing his cell at her. She catches it with a wicked gleam in her eye but pouts at his home screen. “You don’t have Toca’s Hair Salon?” “… huh?” “It’s a game Papa keeps on his phone for me.” She wiggles back into the pillows with a huff. “I guess I’ll play Candy Crush.” “Don’t beat my high score,” he says, and she smiles. Namiko never looks like her mother when she smiles, but Haru never saw Ookami happy much. He wanders back into the living room to plop in the floor with Makoto, resting against his side with a long sigh, trying to purge the day’s tension out in a breath. Makoto nuzzles his cheek against the top of Haru’s hair, rubbing a comforting hand down his arm on the way to intertwine their fingers. Haru’s very heart gasps when their rings click together. “How was work?” “It was work,” Haru huffs, snuggling deeper into Makoto and hugging his arms around him. Haru closes his eyes as fingers play with his hair, ghosting across the back of his neck with pleasant shivers. “Why’d Rin bring Namiko over here so late?” Makoto grimaces as he unwinds his hearing aid cord to rub the sore spot behind his ear. Haru pushes his hand away to rub it himself and Makoto’s shoulders drop with a hum, leaning into the sweet touch. He mumbles, “I offered, actually. Him and Sousuke needed to go out and have a break with everything going on. Sorry, I know you’re stressed out –” “It’s fine.” Haru continues to caress the soreness, contentedness sinking over him in the safe quiet of their home. “It’s good to hold a kid every now and then; makes me feel better.” Makoto smiles, eyes tired but always shining for Haru. His voice hushes to a conspiring tone and Haru leans in because he loves nothing more than husband-gossip time. “Rin seems really worried about that Mikoshiba girl.” “Sei’s sister? Why?” Makoto shrugs, tracing Haru’s hawk tattoo as he does every evening. “She’s just really out there and you know how protective Rin’s been of Gou like – well, her whole life, but especially since she turned sixteen.” He straightens his right leg, adjusting his prosthetic with a wince. “Gou’s spending the night with Ran tonight and Ran wouldn’t lead her wrong but she also knows what it’s like to grow up kind of isolated like that.” Haru mulls it over, sneaking a hand under Makoto’s shirt to rub his back, the skin bumpy with rivers of scars. “Maybe it’ll do some good.” “That’d be nice,” Makoto chuckles. His smile stays even when his laughter fades and his eyes are already closed when Haru leans in, guiding Makoto’s jaw down to find his lips. At the touch of his mouth, Haru takes a slow, deep inhale through his nose, his pulse drumming like a song. Makoto catches his mouth again with a soft smack that sounds so intimate that Haru’s face flashes hot. He pecks the swell of Makoto’s lower lip once more before leaning back just enough for their noses to brush, his eyes dark and half-lidded. “You still feel –” He swallows, breathes, “So good.” They close their eyes as their foreheads rest together, a smile curling Makoto’s whisper. “Some things never change.” 

[chitose-xiv]

Rites of Passage - [ part 3 ]

(part 1 | part 2)

The respite of sleep was one Chitose's body was reluctant to leave. No dreams or visions bloomed into being within the darkness - only silence. Sweet, blissful silence. Such temptation, to stay tucked away in the nothing, safe and removed from the remaining trial that awaited in the light. 

But soft noises began to reach her in the depths of slumber, muffled and faraway at first, as clarity of consciousness slowly ebbed back in. A cruel and inevitable fate.

It was only then that she began to become aware of just how sore she was. Climbing a mountain was no easy feat, let alone in the short span of a sun. It wasn't an unbearable pain, but one that made her procrastinate in moving. A low, quiet groan was the signal that she was rousing, one that alerted Inori and Yotogi.

"Lady Chitose? Are you awake?" Inori's soft voice bore a note of concern, as she shifted her way over to the woman's stirring form.

"Mm," was Chitose's only answer at first, worn and croaky, a soft cough given to clear it away. "...Should you not have returned to the main house already?" Bleary eyes slowly opened, squinting against the light of the flames yet crackling within the hearth. The very same sight she'd fallen asleep to. Had she really been so exhausted as to not move at all?

"Sayuri agreed to take my morning shift when I informed her of our plans. 'tis no need for concern-- little doubt the master yet sleeps himself." Inori reached to adjust the blanket around Chitose's figure-- though her former mistress was already shifting to sit up, grimacing along the way.

"...You should head back," The dark-haired Raen muttered. "There must be enough time between your return and my arrival to avoid arousing suspicion. I'll not suffer you nor Sayuri bearing responsibility for this." It could have simply been the groggy note to her voice, but a level of rawness colored her words. Her gaze drew up to meet Inori's, unwavering. Almost pleading. "Take the vial in my hanten. Do not lose it-- ensure it is mixed into his breakfast, and keep Sayuri with you after I arrive. Am I clear?"

Inori winced. She knew that tone. There was something of a hollowness to it now, but the familiar strength of conviction was undeniable. She had not only served this woman for many turns-- they had grown up together, the trio of them. Their bond still persevered, despite the trials it suffered. It was how she knew Chitose would not be swayed, no matter how Inori may try to protest.

A quiet sigh left her, and she inclined her head. "...Very well." But before she did so, she stood and padded to the kitchen, collecting a steaming bowl of something from a large pot. She returned to Chitose's side, easing down to gently slide the food over to her. "Please be sure to eat before you go. I added a bit more meat than the recipe usually calls for." Inori offered a warm smile. "It's still your favorite, yes?"

Chitose stared, at something of a loss for words. The intensity within her features eased, her posture relaxing. Inori did always have that way of dispelling tension in the air. With a most mild quirk of her lips, Chitose nodded briefly, accepting the bowl and simple wooden chopsticks that came with it. "...Yes. Thank you, Inori."

Mirth graced Inori's scaled features, and she went to retrieve the aforementioned vial from the hanging garment close by. "Miss Yotogi, I will aim to return this evening to deliver my report. Do take care to stay warm, yes?"

"Mnh." Yotogi murmurred around her herbal pipe, looking much the same as she had the eve before. Chitose found herself wondering if she ever slept. "Watch your footing out there. There yet remains ice 'neath the fresh-fallen snow."

After ensuring all was in order within the little abode, Inori collected a thick, woolen shawl and cast it around herself. It as good as camouflaged her against the brilliant whiteness outside as she departed through the old, creaky door. Once more, the remaining pair were left in silence, which didn't seem to particularly bother either of them. In their own respective ways, it was part of their lives.

Surprisingly, it was Yotogi who eventually spoke while Chitose was quietly finishing her meal, savoring the broth-soaked meat in her bowl. "Lord Kaneuchi has never been quite the same," the elder sighed, while Chitose paused to flick a sharp look over.

"...Since I left?"

"No. Since Lady Tsubaki's passing."

Chitose froze, her meal briefly forgotten. Her mother. She hadn't heard a single mention of her since she was a child, as though the woman's existence simply ceased to be following her death. Much like now, her father had forbidden any utterance of her at the time. A memorial shrine sat within a small, forgotten room in the manor-- but the last Chitose had known, it sat neglected and collecting dust.

“...How tragically romantic,” Chitose finally mumbled, tearing a piece of meat in two with her teeth. “Driven mad by love lost. I do wonder what she would say if she saw him now, knew what he has done. 

To his village. 

To his loyal servants.

To his own flesh and blood.”

A savagery unlike she had known before had risen within her chest, making her breaths tight and heart thud, a percussion that flooded her veins with rage. She swallowed back the rest of her tirade, pulling in slow, forced breaths. 

Just being in the vicinity of the home she’d fled was proving to disturb Chitose’s composure - a violent ripple in an otherwise smooth, untouched font. But she wouldn’t allow for it. She couldn’t lose control now.

“She does know,” Yotogi remarked quietly, tapping the ash from her pipe. “She is with the kami, after all. She protects these mountains, and she protects you.”

“...Do not jest, old woman. I fought my way up here. The kami do not welcome me - and I hold great doubt my mother would have much say in the matter.”

“A mother does not coddle. She guides." Yotogi's pipe pointed sharply. "You will do well to remember that, young mistress.”

Chitose stared, incensed yet-- but the blaze in her heart was dwindling, recognizing the futility of pursuing further argument. Releasing a low, controlled exhale, she returned to what remained of her food. She didn’t have much time left to sit idle, as-is.

Once the sun rose high enough into the sky to mark the eleventh bell, Chitose offered her gratitude for the shelter and company, before collecting her things and departing down the road for Nashizo proper. All was as quiet as it had been when she’d arrived, the fresh blanket of snow and chilled air keeping many of the village residents holed up in their homes.

She didn’t stop to look around, nor to seek any other familiar faces. Her primary goal was set, her feet carrying her along the familiar path to the awaiting manor. The dwelling stood at the far end of the valley, raised up upon a landmass to overlook those below. Stone steps took her up the incline, lined by flower bushes that lay bare and dormant in the cold. She could almost smell the hydrangea buds waiting to bloom once more.

And standing as grand and imposing as ever at the top, Kaneuchi Manor loomed over its estranged daughter. Chitose didn’t stop, didn’t hesitate-- she slid the front door aside with a forceful rattle, snarling with the effort. She wanted to be heard. To be known.

She heard the voices of housekeepers, confused and stammering in her wake as she stormed on past. But just as one of them snapped out of their daze enough to pursue her, a flash of white sped past to snare Chitose’s arm first.

“What-- Lady Chitose?!”

It was an act, she knew it was-- yet the shock in Inori’s gaze looked genuine. But considering the circumstances, likely it wasn’t that difficult of a reaction to muster. Chitose, too, didn’t need to dig very deep; that boiling hatred in her gut was ready to roar.

She didn’t raise her voice, but her words may as well have brought the chill of the outdoors into the house with her, uttered with the same wintry bite that threatened to freeze her soul the previous eve.

“I will have an audience with my father.”

Both Inori and the other servant woman flinched, the latter quietly muttering something about leaving matters to Inori before hastily fleeing the scene.

At first, the handmaiden seemed at an actual loss for words, any sound she attempted to make dying within her throat. But ultimately, she bowed her horned head, and led the way through dark, familiar halls, toward the master’s quarters. Chitose silently followed, mentally noting to apologize at a later time.

The pair paused before the immaculate shoji door, a couple of gentle knocks offered against the wooden frame. Inori’s voice audibly shook - likely with real trepidation. “M- Master Kichirou. Forgive my interruption-- your.. Ch- Chitose is here. She demands an audience.”

At first, there was silence. A dead, frightening silence. But then came the low, authoritative voice Chitose had dreaded, deep and rumbling as though it rose up from the very mountain itself. And no matter how long she had been gone, she knew well the sound of her father’s barely-contained fury.

“Send her in.”

to be continued.

(image credit)

[igni-archive-blog]

Interview with the Skyfire Released early for Hype!

{★ fill in the questions as if you are being interviewed for an article and you were your muse}

TAGGED BY: NO ONE I AM A FREE JUG TAGGING: seriously, if you haven’t done this, do it, it’s hilarious

1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME? "Xevi!  Or Quicksilver!  Or Thunderlord.  Really, call me anything, I'll answer."

2. WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME? "Oh, right.  Xevi is short for Xevikili.  That's what the Whisperers decided to name me."

3. DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU’RE CALLED THAT? "Not really, aside from the Whisperers being a strange lot.  I think it means Skyfire in their old language?"

4. ARE YOU SINGLE OR TAKEN? "Ahh, I guess "single" is the term.  Not taken as far as I'm aware.  Then again, have you seen this horn?  Scares most people off for whatever reason."

5. WHAT ARE YOUR POWERS AND ABILITIES? "This horn's good for a lot more than lookin' pretty badass.  I can pull it outta my head and swing it around like a sword!  And I'm pretty good at that, I think.  Aside from that, I can drop lightning where I wish, it bends to my will, my command.  And it's not limited to just the actual element, either, I'm special! I can summon it to my fingertips, too."  He gives a simple demonstration, snapping his fingers and sending out sparks.

6. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES? "Look at 'em!  Aren't they nice?  I really like this this violet color, don't you?"

7. HAVE YOU EVER DYED YOUR HAIR? "I haven't dyed it, no.  People think I've dyed it, what with the different colored ends.  It's just normal for my hair, strangely enough."

8. DO YOU HAVE ANY FAMILY MEMBERS? "Uh... I guess Ignision is my big brother.  He doesn't entirely like me, but that's fine because I don't entirely like him."

9. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? "Nah, but I think horses really like me?  It's really cool to have a wild stallion come up to you and be completely chill."

10. TELL ME ABOUT SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE. "I don't like... I don't like...  Well, there aren't many things I dislike.  I guess if I had to say something specific?  I don't particularly like water."  He shrugs almost innocently at the end.  "Don't like the craglord, either.  Jerk left a giant wound on my back and left me incapable of running for a long time..."

11. DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES OR ACTIVITIES YOU DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME? "I love eating!  And sparring with people who're brave enough to do so...  Also flirting with mortals~♫"

12. HAVE YOU EVER HURT ANYONE BEFORE? "I'm the god of lightning, I bring the storm. I've hurt... quite a few people."

13. HAVE YOU EVER… KILLED ANYONE? "Ahh... yeah.  We don't have to talk about that, though."

14. WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL ARE YOU? "You mortals have legends of horses called unicorns, right?  I guess I'm one've those!"

15. NAME YOUR WORST HABITS. "I can get really angry at little things--just kind of blow up, strike like lightning.  Everything just stores up and at the littlest spark--I'll chase it like lightning seeks an opposite charge."

16. DO YOU LOOK UP TO ANYONE? "At least Netonai knows who and what he's fighting against... I kind of admire him.  Really, all the other gods seem so resolute, even Aikoniir--she's a bastard like me."

17. GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL? "Whateversexual," he laughs.  "Gods view sexuality a little differently than you mortals.  We can't procreate so we don't place much value on what's downstairs," he points at our interviewer's crotch.

18. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL? "I actually snuck into one of the magick institutes recently.  Didn't stay long--the mages are very basic in their understanding of the magick I like."

19. DO YOU EVER WANT TO MARRY AND HAVE KIDS SOMEDAY? "Kids?  Like little goats!?  Oh... little mortals, you mean.  Nah.  I'd be content if someone could rein me in, but I doubt that'll happen.  Wild stallions like me?  We're hard to tame."

20. DO YOU HAVE ANY FANS? "Fans, fans....  Nah.  At least, none of them are open or known to me."

21. WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF? "Don't... make me go back to sleep..."

22. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY WEAR? "You like this?  I collected bits and pieces of it from any person that gave me things!  I really like leather--it's like a second skin.  But it can be stifling...  So, whatever'll fit and let me feel free!"

23. DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE? "I've loved a few people in my time.  Right now, though?"  He pauses and narrows his eyes in thought.  "Not right now, I don't think."

24. WHAT CLASS ARE YOU? "Class S Spirit: Old God!  That's what the mages called me."

25. HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE? "Oh, well... not many, I guess."

26. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON PIE? "Chocolate silk?  Or Oreo Creme--I'll eat it if you bring it, I'm not picky."

27. FAVORITE DRINK? "Anything bubbly!  You mortals are incredible with the things you can make!"

29. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE? "Running wild and free on the Thunder Plains--that's my favorite thing in my favorite place."

30. ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SOMEONE? "Some people can be interesting."

31. WHAT’S YOUR DICK SIZE? "Dick--OH.  Hmmhmm~ Well, let's say I'm well-endowed and leave it there."

32. WOULD YOU RATHER SWIM IN THE LAKE OR THE OCEAN? "The ocean is waaaaaay too big!  Give me a lake that can let me see the shore from any place in the water and you'll have a happy thunder god on your hands."

33. WHAT’S YOUR ‘TYPE’? "Type, type...  Gotta be interesting, gotta be attractive--by my standards.  And you can't be worshippin' me just because I'm different," he mutters, touching his exposed ash-gray skin, making sure the interviewer noticed.  "I hate that.  Treat me like one of your own."

34. ANY FETISHES? "Fetish, fetish...  I like to bite, is that a fetish?  You guys can make great food, but your language needs some work..."

35. TOP OR BOTTOM? DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE? "I like being ridden, if that's what you're suggesting.  And I think I take orders better than give him..."

36. CAMPING, OR INDOORS? "Outdoors under a raincloud!  Let me be where I can hear thunder roaring unimpeded!"

37. ARE YOU WAITING FOR THIS INTERVIEW TO BE OVER? "Well, I thought there would be more juicy questions...  If you're going to take me out to eat, though, I guess I can let it end, sweetheart."

[vagabond-sunshine]

Over the Edge

Summary: Set just at the end of Chapter 6, only rather than the party leaving, they wait for Gladio to return. Emotions cloud better judgement.

Count: 1726

Goes with this piece here: (x) 

Jynx stood at the window, watching the group of guys return from a short supply run with Iris. The Glaive could hear her talking to Noctis. “You’ll want to be prepared for anything, so how’s that coming along?”

Before Noct could even answer, Gladio had walked up, “Yeah, just… give us a second.”

Iris looked to her brother confused. “Uh, okay? I’ll be inside then,” she turned heading up the steps through the front door, joining whatever Jynx and Scarlet were up to.

That was when Gladio had turned to Noct, Prompto and Ignis. “So yeah, gonna have to ask you to handle this boat business without me.”

“Say what?” Prompto sounded off, every bit as confused as the expressions on the other two’s faces.

“Got some business of my own to deal with.”

“Do your thing,” Noct sighed. “Not like we could stop you anyway.”

“You know me too well,” Gladio smiled patting the Prince’s shoulder stepping back. “See ya ‘round guys.” And with that he was headed back down the trail, eventually getting out of sight. The others turning and heading back inside as well.

 It became later in the evening when Scarlet found Jynx sitting out on the deck of the hotel. A cigarette to her lips as she watched the waves along the coast beyond their area. The Princess sat in the chair beside her Shield. “I don’t think Gladio will be back tonight.”

Jynx shrugged. “It’s alright,” she smiled, yet it seemed forced. “Whatever it is, it’s gotta be important for him to leave Noct under my protection right?”

Scarlet sat back at the dry laugh her friend gave. “You can’t be serious…”

“Course not, Scar,” Jynx sighed, smoke leaving her mouth. “I can watch you and the pouting Prince, honestly now.”

The Princess raised a brow standing, “Don’t let this bother you too much.”

Jynx nodded raising her mug of tea, “You know me.”

 Two days later, Scarlet caught some of the comments Noctis and Prompto were dropping. Little things here and there, such as Jynx being pretty tiny for a shield. Asking her if she was capable of handling two heirs at once, or if she could even lift a broadsword. The Princess could see the way her Shield fled the room at the comments. Getting to the point she avoided everyone all together, mainly keeping to the outdoors to keep watch.

The fourth night, Scarlet entered the guy’s room, thankful to find Ignis alone there. “Iggy,” she called from the door. He turned to her, smiling softly.

“My lady.”

“Got something to ask you…”

“Anything.”

“Could you talk to the guys about what they’ve been saying? To Jynx that is. You know if I do I’m biting their heads off.” The Princess sat on one of the beds.

“Of course, is everything okay with her?”

“She hasn’t been taking the fact that Gladio up and left well at all. She’s on edge and I can never get a chance to talk to her because she just runs off around this place.” Scarlet let out a sigh looking to the floor. “I’ve known her for years, Iggy, her and Gladio becoming a thing is the best thing that ever happened to her and now he’s gone.”

“He’ll be back,” Ignis said taking a chair to sit across from his Lady.

“We all know that,” she replied. “But when? We can’t wait around here forever.”

“We’ll give him until the end of the week.”

 The end of the week came, Jynx picking up on coming to bed when Scarlet was finally asleep, as well as being up and out of the room before the Princess even noticed she was there at all. The Glaive remained outside most of the day, keeping to the back of the hotel under a lone oak tree right beside the edge of the cliff.

She feared Gladio was never coming back at this point. The heart she had once guarded so close had gone with him. Her head hung low pulling her knees to her chest. The others were right… there is no way I can do this… she thought to herself. She watched the waves along the coast once more. Noct is more than well-guarded… Scar… Fuck Scar could turn the world to ashes if she wanted… They don’t need me…

She stood slowly stepping to the edge of the sheer drop that was before her. Watching the water in the lagoon below crash into the wall of the cliff. The strength of the waves so strong she could feel the mist splash her face gently, even from the height she was at.

Jynx then heard laughter inside. Tears pricking her eyes, how could they be so happy? She couldn’t really blame them all. Hell the mood she had been this was probably for the best. But it seemed so haunting to her ears. Maybe they really didn’t need any shield. Maybe Gladio didn’t even want to come back to her or anyone else.

Biting her lip, she stepped forward, her body falling forward over the edge of the cliff. For a moment she thought she had heard the shouts for her name. Of course, like everything else her mind portrayed, it could have a been a trick, especially with the wind rushing past her ears. The water fast approaching she drew a small breath closing her eyes tightly.

It felt like being hit by a freight train. The surface of the water unforgiving as the current yanked her body under. Opening her eyes, she could see herself being pulled and thrown around like a rag doll in toddler hands.

Jynx felt her back being slammed into a hard surface what little air she had in her lung being forced out in a muffle cry and plenty of bubbles. Something had crunched in her chest, a few ribs, but she couldn’t bring herself to really care. Looking up to the surface, she wanted to swim up to it, to breathe. Her body wouldn’t cooperate, not like this.

Vision beginning to fade, Jynx thought about it. It wasn’t so bad to drown this way, sure her lungs wanted to burst but really it was like falling sleep. Surely the others would have noticed she was gone by now, but did they know where she was?

Looking up once more to the surface as her sight became blurry she could see a large shadow descending toward her. It was like an arm was reaching for her. She closed her eyes, an illusion from an oxygen starved mind. Like someone wanted to save her.

  ­­­­­­­­­­­­

Gladio entered the hotel, greeted with cheers and a healthy hug from Iris. He noticed his small warrior was MIA. Looking around briefly he turned around, thinking she would jump onto his back in surprise like always. “Where’s Jynx?”

Scarlet motioned to door to the patio. “She’s been outside almost all week, you didn’t tell her you’d be gone this long, or that you were leaving at all.”

Gladio rubbed the back of his head, “I guess I figured with you two running off…”

“That’s only for a day or so, not a whole week,” Scarlet retorted with a smile moving to the glass sliding door. The group fallowing ready to call the Glaive back from her little storm cloud of a mood.

Well that was before she fell over the edge she was standing at. The joy between them turned to collective panic as they sprinted toward where Jynx fell. Shouting her name, they made it to see her figure disappear beneath the waves.

Scarlet moved to dive off the rock face after her best friend. Ignis grabbing her arm and pulling her back. “It’ll kill you!” he shouted holding her close.

“It’ll kill her!” she snapped back.

Gladio wasted little time kicking off his shoes, throwing off his jacket as he dove over the edge before anyone could think to try and stop him. He took as deep a breath as he could manage splashing into the water. Opening his eyes, Gladio looked around frantically seeing Jynx near the bottom of the lagoon. He used his arms and legs, kicking and pulling himself farther down to reach her. The current trying to push him away.

He watched her eyes look at him briefly before closing slowly. He grabbed her arm tightly pulling her close as he kicked back up to the top of the water. The undertow fighting him hard, his lungs screaming for air. Gaining their request when he broke the surface, gasping for the life giving element. Gladio pulled Jynx up, keeping her head above the water as he swam to the shore where they others already waited.

“He’s got her!” Prompto shouted leaping into the air.

The male Shield got onto the sandbank, able to stand carrying Jynx to where he could lay her down on the beach gently. “I need some room here, guys!” he shouted keeping everyone back. They all looked down at her, her skin pale, lips already a light blue hue. This was not good.

Gladio leaned in, listening for her breathing, even pressing a couple of fingers to her neck. There was a steady pulse there, but it was weak. He tilted her head back, pinching her nose and pressing his lips to hers. He had taken more than his share of CPR classes growing up, though he never thought he would have to use it.

“Jynx I sweat to the Six if you die on me!” Scarlet shouted, trying to be threatening through her own tears.

Gladio could only mentally agree, pressing hard on the Glaive’s chest before repeating his actions. Relief flooded the small circle when water started coming from her mouth in a cough. Immediately he sat her up, patting her back gently, her body hacking up the liquid before calming itself with deep breaths.

Her eyes opened slowly looking down at the sand before slowly looking to Gladio. He pulled her close to his chest. “Don’t you ever fucking do that again,” he whispered into her hair, kissing the top of her head.

She held tightly to his arm, remaining silent tears falling from her eyes. “I’m so sorry,” she whimpered. “You were gone, the guys… I…”

“Don’t,” he held her tighter. “I’d never leave you like this forever.”

[khalilhumam]

COVID-19 diaries from Wuhan: ‘People cannot grieve freely for their relatives. How repressive!’

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COVID-19 diaries from Wuhan: ‘People cannot grieve freely for their relatives. How repressive!’

With COVID-19, one city's yesterday is another city's tomorrow

A construction site in Wuhan resumed operation. (Photo credit: Guo Jing. Used with permission.)

The following post is the fourteenth in a series of diaries written by independent filmmaker and feminist scholar Ai Xiaoming and feminist activist Guo Jing. Both are living in Wuhan at the initial center of the COVID-19 pandemic. Here are the links to the first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth and eleventh, twelfth, and thirteenth parts of the series. Check out Global Voices’ special coverage of the global impact of COVID-19. This installment was written between March 23 and March 27, 2020. The original Chinese diaries are published on Matter News.

Guo Jing: March 23, 2020

我今天没有下楼，在房间里工作、写日记。前几天有个被领导性骚扰的女性打074热线来咨询，她把自己的经历发了朋友圈，结果有几个女同事说她们也曾被这个领导性骚扰。她们联合起来向公司投诉，要求公司调查处理。今天，这名咨询者告诉我，公司调查后决定开除骚扰者，并在内部发了公告。真是个难得的好消息。 今天似乎回到了封城前的生活，可是我心里又知道无法回到过去。我们有时候想回到过去是怀念曾经某个时刻的美好，或者想要逃避现在的痛苦。 其实，我内心一直抗拒去适应现在的生活，人为了适应变态的生存环境必然要做出一些妥协。我不想做太多的妥协，更害怕妥协成为习惯，想要坚守那些我珍视的信念。

I did not go out today. I worked at home and wrote diaries. Several days ago, a woman harassed by her superior called the hotline. She shared her experience on social media and some female colleagues of hers said they were harassed by the same person. They filed a complaint together and asked the company to investigate. Today, she told me that her company decided to fire that harasser and announced the decision. This is rare good news. Today feels like a normal day before the lockdown. However, I know life will not be the same again. The desire to return to the past is associated with our memory of the good old days, or the desire to escape from the pain we have now. I insist on not getting used to the current situation. When adapting to a perverted environment, it is necessary to compromise. I don't want to compromise too much or else compromise will become a habit. I want to stick to my beliefs.

Guo Jing: March 24, 2020

这几天无症状感染者让大家充满了疑惑和担忧，自己是不是无症状感染者，身边是否有无症状感染者。昨天财新的报道指出，武汉最近每天还能检测出几例或十几例无症状感染者，但并没有计入确诊病例。 无症状感染者的存在无疑增加了疫情的防控难度。 现在很多省份的新增确诊病例都是从境外入境的人。我们要怎么应对疫情的这一新发展趋势呢？我真心希望不要再有封锁了，再次封锁简直就是酷刑，尤其是对武汉人而言，我们经不住这样的折磨啦。我们要做好防护和救治，而不是隔离。 中午，湖北省新型冠状病毒感染肺炎疫情防控指挥部发了通告，4月8日零时起，武汉市解除离汉离鄂通道管控措施，有序恢复对外交通，离汉人员凭湖北健康码“绿码”安全有序流动。 这算是一个好消息。 有人问我会不会离开武汉。短期内没有特别的理由我不会离开。我已经对此类消息变得无感了。我不再每天一醒来就去看最新的疫情信息了。解封不代表这次疫情的结束，可能还是会有人不敢出门，很多后遗症也都需要面对。我现在都很难想象大家都不戴口罩出门的场景。 去年在广州跟一群热爱运动的朋友成立了一个女子登山队，前些日子大家在讨论五一去四姑娘山徒步。那个时候我说好想去。今天，她们倒是高兴地说：“郭晶可以出来啦！！” 我好像没啥信心，说：“哎呀，不知道到时候会咋样呢。”有人说：“还是可以期待一下！”有人说：“到时候就重获自由了！”我收到了一些鼓励，说：“好吧，我期待一下！”

Recently, people are confused and worried about the “asymptomatic virus carriers”. Are we infected without symptoms? Are people around me infected without symptoms? Yesterday a Caixin report pointed out that recently there are several to a dozen people infected without symptoms in Wuhan everyday. However, they are not counted as confirmed cases. Without doubt, the asymptomatic infected cases will make it difficult to end this pandemic. Now, in many provinces, the newly confirmed cases are imported. How can we deal with this new trend? I really hope that we won't have to lock down again. It would be torture, especially for people in Wuhan. We cannot bear such torture again. More efforts should be paid to protection and treatment instead of isolation. This noon, the COVID-19 Epidemic Prevention Center in Hubei Province announced that Wuhan city will lift the traffic ban on April 8. Traffic will return to normal. People in Wuhan can travel to other places with a “Green Code” issued by the Hubei Health Code system. This is indeed good news. People asked me whether I will leave Wuhan. I have no such plan unless something unexpected happens. I don't have any feeling about the pandemic news and no longer check the latest information every day after waking up. Lifting the lockdown does not mean the end of this pandemic. Very likely, some people still dare not go out. The sequel of the pandemic is still emerging. At this moment, I cannot imagine people going out without a face mask. Last year I and some friends in Guangzhou who love outdoor activities founded a female hiking club. Several days ago, we talked about climbing Mount Siguniang during the May Day holiday. I said I would love to go. Today, they said happily, “Guo Jing can join us now!!” But I am not that confident. I said, “I don't know what will happen.” Someone said, “You should be hopeful.” Someone else said, “You will be free by then.” I was encouraged and said, “Well, I will stay hopeful.“

Guo Jing: March 25, 2020

我羡慕那些在外面的人，就问门口的社区工作人员：“我们什么时候可以出去呀？”他说：“现在有复工证明才能出，现在主要是为了复工。”

I envy those who can go outside. I asked the community staff at the gate, “when can we go out?” He said, “now only people with a Work Pass can go out; the current arrangement is mainly for the purpose of work resumption.”

Guo Jing: March 26, 2020

今天有人在微博上发了一张照片，内容是汉口殡仪馆门口领骨灰的长队，很快这条微博就不见了。有人写下自己去汉口殡仪馆的经历，TA在里面待了两个小时，人们大都是默默地抱着遗照在对接点等待，或抱着骨灰盒离开，殡仪馆很安静。TA要离开的时候一个女人放声大哭，大家呆呆地看着她。 网友说殡仪馆到处都是便衣，甚至一抬手机就有人上前制止。有不少人说去领骨灰盒的时候有社区工作人员的“陪同”。人们的哀悼也被看管了起来，真是荒谬至极。他们的家人去世了，他们很多人都没能跟家人见上最后一面，现在又不能以自己的方式哀悼逝去的亲人，这是何等的压制。

Today someone posted on Weibo a photo showing a long queue outside the Hankou Funeral Home, waiting for the ashes of their relatives or friends. This photo was soon deleted. Someone wrote down their experience in the Hankou Funeral Home. They stayed there for two hours. The majority were waiting at the reception quietly, holding a portrait of the deceased person. Some took the ashes away. When they left, one woman broke the silence and burst into tears. Others just stared at her. The same netizen said that there were many plainclothes policemen in the funeral home. If a person took out a cellphone, that person would be stopped [by the plainclothes]. Many said that they were “accompanied” by community staffers when they went to take the ashes. It is so ridiculous that people's condolences have to be supervised and monitored. Their family members passed away. Many could not say farewell to their beloved ones. Now they are not allowed to grieve the death of their relatives freely. How repressive!

Guo Jing: March 27, 2020

新冠肺炎在全球范围的传播对全球化的经济结构将会带来什么样的影响？很多外贸厂的外贸订单被取消，涉及的行业有服装、玩具、电子等，很多厂被迫关停。这些外贸厂的工人想复工也没得复了。 很多产业开始大规模地缩水，接下来会有大规模的失业。很多人都没有存款，还背负着房贷、房租等，几个月没有收入生活就会难以为继。很多人在城市里都是外来者，如果在城市里生活不下去，就必然要回到农村。 复工也并非易事。现在武汉关于复工的规定尚不明确，不知道哪些行业可以复工。湖北其它城市去外地复工的人也遇到种种困难，一个交流出城、复工经验的群里有人说，他到重庆后要做核酸检测加居家隔离7天才能上班。 还有的地方依然在拒绝湖北人。今天，江西九江拒绝湖北人入内，在湖北黄梅小池桥头设置封锁线，结果两地警察发生冲突，引来了很多人的聚集。 晚上十一点多，天又下起了雨，连续下了好几个小时。睡觉的时候，风吹得窗户晃荡地响，时而传来工地上的木板、钢条、铝片被吹倒的撞击声。 想到那些无法以自己的方式哀悼逝去的亲朋的人，想到那些在为生计焦虑着的人，想到那些住在桥洞里的人，想到那些和我一样还被困着的武汉人，我久久难以入睡。很多人和此刻的武汉一样在暴风雨的敲击中，在灾难带来的暴风雨后，人们会像那些被吹倒的房屋一样需要重建。

How will this COVID-19 pandemic change the global economy? A large number of foreign trade orders are canceled. Many factories making clothes, toys, electronics, etc. are forced to shut down. Their employees cannot return to work anymore. As the manufacturing sector shrinks, employees will lose their jobs. Many people do not have much savings, but they need to pay mortgage or rent. After a few months, they will not be able to sustain themselves. Many workers in cities come from rural regions. If they cannot sustain their lives in the cities, they have to return home to the villages. The resumption of production is not an easy task. Currently we do not have clear instructions in Wuhan. We have no idea which sectors are allowed to resume production. People from other regions in Hubei also face a lot of difficulties if they have to travel to other cities. Someone said in our chatroom that they were requested to do a PCR test and quarantine for 7 days upon arrival at Chongqing for work. Some regions still don't allow people from Hubei Province to enter. Today, Jiujian city of the Jiangxi province set up a blockade on a bridge in Huangmei city to stop people from Hubei entering Jiujian. The policemen from the two provinces clashed on the bridge and a huge crowd gathered at the spot. It started raining again at around 11 PM tonight. The rain lasted for several hours. When I went to bed, the wind blew against the windows and made a lot of sounds. I could also hear the clanging sounds of the wooden boards, steel bars and aluminum plates coming from a nearby construction site. I couldn't fall as sleep and kept thinking about those who could not grieve freely for their relatives and friends, those who worried about their jobs and savings, those homeless who live under bridges and those who are stranded in Wuhan, like me. Many people are in the middle of a storm, just like Wuhan at this moment. After the storm, we will need to rebuild our lives like those blown-down buildings.

< p class='gv-rss-footer'>Written by Winston Chiu · comments (0) Donate · Share this: twitter facebook reddit

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Advice For Having The Best Possible New Zealand Camping Experience

Advice For Having The Best Possible Camping Experience Have you considered camping? It is a terrific outdoor experience that can be perfect for couples, entire families, or those who wish to find a little alone time. Camping is a great way to enjoy being outdoors, but there is a lot to know before you go. The following advice can help you properly plan for your next New Zealand camping trip. Water is critical for your survival when hiking in the backcountry. Carry water purification tablets with you or some sort of water filter that is capable of filtering out bacteria. There are many different kinds available at your local sporting goods store. Whenever you are looking for a water source, make sure the water is flowing; stagnant water can kill you if not treated properly. If you are going on a camping adventure, make sure you have enough time to set up camp before dark. It can be extremely difficult to set up camp in the dark and possibly unsafe. You need to be able to scout the terrain, prepare bedding, and possibly build some temporary shelter prior to the sun going down. If you have a toddler, pack a blanket. You can lay it out on the ground and use it as a makeshift play area. Bring cars, dolls, or whatever items your child is into. They can play without getting too dirty and you can instruct them that they need to keep their toys on the blanket for safekeeping. This will help to keep things from getting too spread out. Camping is definitely a fun time, but there might also be uninvited guests at your campsite. Who are these guests? Bugs! This is their environment and they like camping, too. Make sure you have bugged repellent with you to tell them to stay at their own campsite or to go visit other campers who weren't quite as prepared as you were. Research any potential campground well. They all have different amenities. Some may have showers and bathrooms, while others may not. There are even a few campgrounds that are quite fancy, with onsite miniature golf games or water parks. You may not need or want all that, so figure it out ahead of time so that you are not disappointed when you get there. Make sure your tent is of ample size. You should have no problem sleeping and getting through the nights when camping. If you are using a tent for camping, put a great deal of thought into buying your tent. Consider the climate. Consider your price range. How often will you be using this tent? cheap New Zealand motorhome You don't want to buy a tent that won't be able to stand up to the elements. At the same time, you don't need to pay a fortune for a tent you plan to only use once. At night, create "bear bags." Tie a rope around the bags with your food and your trash. Then, find a tree and toss bags over a branch, raising until they are at least seven or eight feet off the ground. Tie the rope around the tree so it is secure. This way, bears and other animals will not be able to get into your food and trash during the night. If you will be camping somewhere that is very far away from civilization, then make sure you have told several people where you will be as well as how long you are intending to stay. Ask them to call you on the day you are supposed to return to ensure your safety. Be certain your camp fire is completely out before you leave a campsite. To your eye it may seem like the fire is gone, but stir the ashes with a stick and you may find burning embers. Pour enough water and keep stirring until you see no more embers in the fire pit. It is important to have a flashlight when you camp, but make sure the batteries are fully charged. One way to be sure the batteries don't accidentally drain on the journey is to put them into the flashlight backwards. That way if the switch is accidentally engaged, they stay charged. Plus, you know where the batteries are. Never park your vehicle under a single tree when you are at a campsite. If there is a storm, it will attract lightning. This also means that you should avoid sleeping under any trees that are in a particular area by themselves. Try to be in an area that is free of trees or one that has many. Camping can be one of the most fun activities there is. However, without the proper packing and planning, it might be a disaster--in some cases dangerous as well. With the information you received from this article you should feel like camping as soon as possible.

[theopenroadbeforeme-blog]

Mountains are the sirens of geologic formations — luring in adventurers and enthusiasts with a rugged beauty that draws a veil over the hazards they contain.  Soaring altitudes, inclement weather, and unstable terrain… these things and more have wrought tragedy upon countless backcountry explorers drawn inexorably towards the mountains.  But there is one breed of peak that ups the danger ante to insane levels with pyroclastic flows, lava, and Earth-shattering eruptive force.  Volcanoes.

All Nature’s wildness tells the same story: the shocks and outbursts of earthquakes, volcanoes, geysers, roaring, thundering waves and floods, the silent uprush of sap in plants, storms of every sort, each and all, are the orderly, beauty-making love-beats of Nature’s heart.” — John Muir

Guatemala has at least 37 volcanoes — the highest concentration in Central America.  While many are dormant or extinct, there are several active ones, of which Volcán de Fuego is perhaps the most infamous.  This is especially true in 2018 after a June eruption killed more than 150 people and displaced thousands.  While that eruption was Fuego’s most powerful in over 40 years, the volcano is nearly constantly active, belching out smoke and fire day in and day out.  Crazily enough, there are companies that lead tours up the adjacent Volcán de Acatenango and even onto the treacherous ‘Knife Ridge’ that is leveled at Fuego’s fiery gullet…

Kevin Sebold, photographer [CC BY 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)%5D, from Wikimedia Commons

One of the most well-known of these companies is OX (Outdoor Expeditions).  Their Double Whammy tour offers the chance to both summit Acatenango and walk along the Knife Ridge towards Fuego.  After doing some research into their safety practices and watching some videos of the volcano in action, I bit the bullet and booked my tour.  I would be climbing Acatenango and Fuego, making for one of my largest summits and my first active volcano experience, respectively.

Climbing Acatenango and Fuego

We set out early, meeting at the OX headquarters in Antigua at 7:00 in the morning to pack our bags and eat a quick breakfast.  From there, it was just over an hour to the trailhead.  The ascent was merciless from the get-go, with an exposed slog through cornfields comprising the entire first leg of the hike.  Since the track starts at just under 2,500 meters in elevation, altitude is a factor,  so we went slowly and took plenty of breaks to rest and hydrate.

After the sun-baked grind through the fields, entering the cool shade of the cloud forest was a welcome reprieve.  Thick tree-cover hung with ferns and vines kept the sky from us, save for the stray beams of sunlight that dappled the forest floor.  It was strange to think that we were on a volcano which had erupted as recently as the ’70s; indeed, it felt more akin to a rainforest far removed from any sort of life-purging flame.

The shift from cloud forest to alpine forest is sudden, as if all the lush vegetation mutually decided that none of it would grow higher than this elevation.  But the shift in flora didn’t make for a barren landscape.  The sweet tang of pine needles filled our nostrils, and alpine flowers blossomed in purples, reds, and yellows along the dusty path.

Solitary Volcán de Agua loomed in the distance, its 3,760-meter bulk dwarfing the surrounding hills.  But not our Acatenango.  Acatenango reaches a height of 3,976 meters, while Fuego tops out at 3,763 — give or take a few layers of transitory volcanic rock and ash.

After a lunch break during which we hoovered some fantastic sandwiches, we carried on as the first clouds of the day gathered around us.  The wind picked up as well, and it wasn’t uncommon for a wisp of cloud to be harried past us before disappearing around the shoulder of the volcano.

When we (at last) reached our Base Camp, Fuego lay before us — a titan of smoldering menace intermittently shrouded in cloud.

Every few minutes, a puff of smoke would burst from its cone, roiling black and thick through the cloud cover.  Occasionally, the spectacle would be accompanied by a low rumble, followed by the clattering of searingly hot stones cascading down Fuego’s flanks.

After a short break at Base Camp, two of us set out with our guide, Miguel, towards that rumbling, fiery giant across the valley.  The descent down Acatenango was frenzied — a literal sprint down a steep slope with thick layers of fine, volcanic stone.  After the first few, terrifying steps, the experience became exhilarating, feeling for all the world like cross-country skiing down a volcano.  It basically was, sans any skis.

But that descent only meant we had to climb back up to reach the Knife Ridge of Fuego, and we set out from the saddle between the two peaks with weary steps.  A sea of clouds broke against the flanks of Acatengo behind us, and the glow of the sinking sun tinged them with gold.

When we crested the ridgeline and saw Fuego smoldering in barely contained fury before us, I could feel a chill go through me — and not just from the cold!  The path dropped sharply to either side, and Miguel made a point of showing us which way to fall if we lost our balance.  “Don’t fall this way, you’ll die.  If you fall this way, you’ll just slide for a very, very long time.”

Thanks, dude.

Other groups trudged behind us, and we all stopped just beyond a scattering of fresh rocks from a recent eruption.  Because, you know… safety.

The sun dropped further towards the horizon, and we huddled on the safe side of the ridge to take shelter from the wind.  I had a thermal layer, a fleece, and a windbreaker, but I was still freezing.  Waiting became a war of attrition, and I alternated which hand I kept exposed to work my camera shutter as I tucked the other as deep into my pocket as I could manage.  Miguel stood staring out over the clouds, oblivious to the elements.

In the distance, Volcán de San Pedro loomed over a cloud-covered Lago de Atitlán, where I’d spent the last few weeks staying in Santa Cruz la Laguna.

Darkness fell, and Fuego’s eruptions turned fiery, lending credence to its name.  In Spanish, it literally translates to Volcano of Fire, while the Mayan name of Chi’gag translates to, ‘Where the Fire Is’.  Apt.

We descended Fuego and made our way back up Acatenango in total darkness, picking our way gingerly down the steep slope and practically crawling the last several hundred meters up into camp.  Dinner and a fire waited for us, followed by a cold, windy night on packed earth as Fuego rumbled and shook in the distance.

Morning came much too soon, as we all got up at 4:00 am for a pre-dawn ascent of the summit of Acatenango.  Bleary-eyed and groggy from a restless night at altitude, we trudged up the slope as the sky began to lighten, cresting the rim of the crater just minutes before sunrise.

The sun rose just over the shoulder of Volcán de Agua, painting the clouds below and the neighboring peaks in soft reddish-orange light.  Fuego sent up its regular plumes of ash and the occasional belch of lava, prompting cheers of “FUEGOOOOO!!!!” from gathered onlookers.

Lake Atitlan was visible behind us, with its vanguard of smaller volcanoes dwarfed by the shadow of Acatenango.

As we’d learned the night before, sometimes the easiest way to descend a volcano is to run straight down, so that’s what we did.  A steep pitch covered in a deep layer of loose stone made for a surprisingly safe ‘ski’ slope.  We took giant, leaping steps down, sliding up to a meter per step down the scree.

We took our time eating breakfast while Miguel and Milton broke down camp.  When it came time to bid Fuego farewell, we waited for one last eruption before heading back along the trail.  Behind us, the Volcano of Fire rumbled on, sending ash and fire into the clear blue expanse of the sky.

Review of Ox Expeditions

Climbing Acatenango and Fuego with Ox Expeditions has undoubtedly been the highlight of my trip. Not only was the experience extremely epic and satisfying, but the guiding expertise and overall organization of the trip by Miguel and Milton were exceptional.  They handled our group of 14 with aplomb, easily adapting to the different hiking abilities present in our group.  The food was better than I expected and having the crew set-up/tear-down camp AND prepare all the meals was a welcome surprise.

The administrative side of Ox was a little less organized, as my hike was rescheduled at the last minute — forcing me to frantically adjust some travel plans because of the inconvenience.  That said, Ox made good on the snafu and organized my transport to Antigua AND comped my pre-trip night’s sleep in their dorm.

I’d definitely recommend them as a tour operator and would highly encourage you to use them for climbing Acatenango and Fuego when you eventually visit Guatemala!

What to Bring

Good hiking shoes.  I use Merrell Moab or Chameleon hiking boots and have always been impressed with them!

A windbreaker.  I use the Arc’teryx Incendo hoody and love how I can just stuff it into my pocket when I’m not using it.

Thermal layers.  Bring these for top AND bottom, as it gets very cold up on the peaks — sometimes the temps are sub-zero!

Tough, breathable long pants.  You’ll be sweating a lot, so jeans are a strict no-no, while the rough volcanic stone can chew up flimsy materials.  Get something comfortable, tough, and protective for the hike up — I use Coalatree’s Trailhead pants.

A fleece jacket.  Columbia makes great quality fleeces for affordable prices.

GLOVES! I forgot these and ended up having to put wool socks over my hands to keep them warm.

A warm hat.

Snacks.  While lunch, dinner, and breakfast are provided, snacks are not; so bring some chocolate, nuts, berries, or your favorite hiking food to snack on during the many breaks you’ll take on the way to the summit.

Sunscreen.  Needless to say, there’s not a lot of shade on top of the volcanoes, so you’ll be getting some prime exposure to the sun while at altitude — a recipe for a gnarly sunburn if you’re not prepared.

Things Ox Can Loan You

OX has gear to lend or rent for those who don’t have their own.  Here’s all the stuff I borrowed:

Sleeping bag

Sleeping pad

Backpack

Eating utensils

More… check with Ox if there’s something you need.  They might have it on hand for you to borrow/rent.

Hiking sticks are available to rent for 5 quetzales at the trailhead.

How about you?  Have you ever hiked a volcano?  If so, how was your experience?  Would you do it again?  Let me know in the comments below!

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Climbing Acatenango and Fuego Volcanoes with Ox Expeditions Mountains are the sirens of geologic formations -- luring in adventurers and enthusiasts with a rugged beauty that draws a veil over the hazards they contain.