#slay nicotine

[orphilet]

its me, my vape, and my coffee against the fucking world

[inature]

Greatest invention known to man. :)))

[ineffag-swag]

My father shouldn't have gave me an 500g m&ms packet... I opened it yesterday and now there is only a little left?? Literally what the fuck, I should never be trusted with sweets again 😭😭

[sar3nka]

So basically I might actually feel a bit out of it for 20 more hours?

[sandygorange]

i need a new dispo 😞

- mads 🌞

[narcoticwriter]

I'm Finally Breaking My Silence.

I can't take it anymore. Someone has to know about this. It's been years since the realization dawned on me and years since I've kept my lips sealed, but I can bear it no longer.

It makes no fucking sense how the tall Genshin women have heels.

This is a meme, but I'm also on something else entirely. Maybe it's delusion.

I don't care if it's for the fanservice, I don't care if it's hot, and I certainly don't care if people like it because it makes no sense whatsoever.

I don't know how people can run around in varying landscapes and roads on heels. I don't know how the heel itself would survive such treatment. And I don't know how the wearer, no matter how skilled, would not trip and fall on their ass.

Some instances can be afforded more forgiveness than others, but this will not stop me from compiling a list of how I feel about them individually and as people:

Actual Insanity -

Beidou: The Alcor is a wooden boat. One day, that heel is slipping through a small hole in the floor, snapping off, and sending her careening across the starboard. Someone's going to laugh. And then they will be tossed into the brine before being pulled back out and promptly begging for forgiveness. I cry.

Jean: The Gunnhildrs are masochists. The pain is worth it for Mondstadt, as always. How does she do it, running around everywhere and carrying the Knights of Favonius on her back? There's no way that she doesn't kick off the boots while sitting at her desk when it becomes too much to bear.

Dehya: When she says that she wants to slay on the battlefield as much as her looks, I did not think that the shoes would also be a thing to consider. And in sand? Are you mad? Those heels are sinking. No wonder her burst cancels when she jumps. Imagine having to rework your precarious footing every single time.

Yelan: This sick woman unironically likes it. She probably enjoys the sensation of pain every single time it becomes borderline pleasurable. It doesn't help that she looks forward to it being treated too. Herbalist Gui is getting really sick of having to wrap her feet in gauze after slathering it with medicinal foot cream.

Rosaria: I don't know if she's capable of caring anymore, actually. She doesn't seem to process this the same. The woman has an aesthetic to commit to and she doesn't do anything halfway, including her fit. She says she doesn't get drunk, but you know damn well that it and the nicotine numb the pain.

Eula: Anyone who says that they can do reconnaissance work and wear those things is lying, and Eula Lawrence is no exception to this rule. To add insult to injury, she also has spurs on them. Spurs on those beasts of shoes. Respectfully, she needs to twist her ankle and be put on bedrest for the day, so she can think about it.

Candace: I can't believe that this mentally brought me to my fucking knees. How dare you? You live in an area that is mostly sand and dust! You go out in the night and kill things! You're constantly out and about taking care of things! WHY ARE YOU IN SUCH HIGH HEELS?!?

Shenhe: (head in hands) I don't even know if she knows that this isn't normal to wear. I'm going to Cloud Retainer's domain and demanding that she be put in something that makes more sense. She lives in the mountains for Archon's sake! She may not act entirely human, but trust me, she is one at the end of the day.

It Makes Some Sense -

Kujou Sara: She's won, actually. Geta are allegedly much more comfortable to wear than heels. She slays, stays stylish, and isn't suffering while doing so. Good for her, because this is one of the only wins she has in a long, long list of L's, mostly attributed to Yae Miko if you take the time to really look at it.

Lisa: Is she really going to be running around all that much? No! Because she has her little helpers to go around and do things for her. And even if she has to go around by herself, she does so at a rate that isn't breakneck speed. Also, I personally believe that she has some potions and enhancements to help out with it.

Ningguang: She barely gets a pass. Barely. I personally don't believe she takes that walk around the pier every day. It's every other day at the most consistent. At every other function, you can trust that she has a seat and that she's not on her feet. She can afford to have such accommodation.

Raiden Shogun: If her body wasn't a puppet that she made for herself, I would absolutely put her in the other category. She absolutely made sure that she wouldn't feel pain while wearing those things and it shows with how she's able to move like she does in combat.

Yae Miko: I won't call it foul and say that since she can shift into a kitsune form, she's not going into this category, but provide the proof in other ways. Do you really see her going anywhere in a hurry? Precisely the point. She could probably get away with people carrying her places.

[AAAAAA] -

Arlecchino: I have no words for the atrocity that is those heels. None at all. If I think about them too much, I'll start frothing at the mouth, and not in any good way.

Conclusion - My heart weeps prematurely for Clorinde and Navia. Fontainian fashion can kiss my ass. I mourn their feet.

[thatmaxcontent]

East Blue Polycule, yeah? Let me headcanon-dump onto you, stranger who didn't ask for it!

They overall love one another equally (in their own unique ways), but they do have favorites (keep it a secret though 🤭🤫🫡).

Luffy doesn't favor anyone in particular, but he has the most fun with Usopp and the most 'emotional' (big quotes on that) times with Zoro.

Speaking of the Lettuce Demon, his favorite is obviously Luffy, I need not elaborate on this point. He was the first and he will be the last.

Sanji's favorites are Nami and Usopp, Nami in the more silly yet beloving sense. She'll often tease him for being such a simpy simp, but will happily give him some love every now and then. Usopp is constantly around, not just Sanji but the whole crew, and through that Nicotine Kicker kind of just got used to him being THE first one he'd go to (aside captainly stuff and such). They behave more like married folks who've been together for around 10 years most of the time, but this doesn't take away from Sanji's simpyness. Sanji simps for all his partners, but he only visibly does it with Nami and semi-visibly with Usopp. The other two are far more casual.

Nami's favorite is Vivi (surprise! I got this idea from another post, I don't remember the poster, but aaaugh I love it!!!), but out of the crew it's Usopp. Vivi and Nami are one-to-one, the blue gurl isn't dating anyone else. They keep in contact by constantly sending each other letters and SNÄILIN'!!! Usopp is Nami's crew-favorite because... well... they're besties. They bond over so much, and they're the most open in the relationship with one another (close second being Luffy and Zoro tied with Sanji and Usopp, followed by Luffy and Nami, ect ect).

Usopp's favorites are Nami (because of stated bonding) and Sanji (because of their incredible connection), but Luffy deserves an honorable mention as Usopp spends a lot of time and has a blast with him!! Sometimes they also take two-on-two time, rarely it can turn into a little bit of a quiet session, but usually they rave about future adventures and plans. Sometimes Luffy makes Usopp come up with a 'bedtime story', but it's just an excuse to see the sniper get so passionate and think about another adventure!

(This is also from that other poster, aaaaa thank you for infecting my brain with this incredible rot) Aside Vivi, Kaya is dating both Nami and Usopp! They rarely manage to talk, but when they do their sessions are long and if someone disturbs them it's game over for them!

Now onto the funsy headcanons!

Nami and Usopp browse magazines together on a daily basis (sometimes Robin joins them as the cool mother of the group), and they plan some cool and absolutely ✨️SLAY✨️ outfits none of them can ever wear.

Zoro and Sanji have a little bit of a play-competition going on constantly. They get genuinely pissed off by the other often times, but sometimes they make something a competition as an excuse to angrily make out against the kitchen wall (they definitely 'sword'fight about who tops)

Luffy doesn't completely process the relationship as a, well, romantic relationship. He's more in it for the good times, and because he loves the peeps! He's overall fine with more strictly romantically-viewed things, but sometimes he just doesn't want to. One second he will say "Zoro, crush me with your arms", the next he sees Franky and Robin (the cool parents) kissing and he goes "BLEUGH I'm going to need a shovel to transport this bullshit out of my mouth BLEHHHHHH"

Usopp is the most insecure and unstable in the relationship. He's very people-pleasery, while also trying to keep up a persona. If he ever emotionally talks it's usually to Nami, sometimes to Sanji within the relationship, but outside of it he confides in Franky (the awesome dadster) and Jinbe (the ultimately best grandpops). He tries to get better, but fails to realise how. He has fun with everyone, seeks to be around them at all times, but sometimes he can't help but disappear. If you don't see him at breakfast give him until lunch, at that point it's suitable to check-in. Who knows what the thoughts in his head have made him do.

Sanji has a dedicated notebook/ramblebook about each one of the peeps. Sometimes when he can't sleep, or someone just did something he found notable, he whips out a book and starts going "September 1st, 1989, dear diary-" oh shit, wrong fandom.

Zoro is the one that has to be dragged into things the most, he does go willingly as well but his solitude is important to him. This being said he usually doesn't mind Luffy or Usopp chilling around if he's laying back, sometimes they can ramble and do their own thing as well. A lot of the time it's just sitting and silently contemplating on things, with Usopp at least. If Luffy doesn't have stimulation for five seconds he'll gomu-gomu the ship.

Nami absolutely loves physical contact, but sometimes feels bad that she can't see her girlfriends and feel them around. In these cases she'll request some physical space until things have settled, but sometimes that can make her even more clingy. She usually seeks out Usopp, but will cling onto someone else if he isn't to be seen.

Luffy found a new appreciation for various relationship through the polycule. This also helped him think more healthily about his past, those who are gone and those who are alive. He's managed to settle some feelings, but a lot of experiences still hinder his head. He doesn't think about those things that much, and besides if he feels down he will quite literally start deflating. A quick munch of food, mention of stories or a good song will always cheer him right up.

Usopp actively leaves gifts for everyone around the ship (to the ones outside the relationship as well, but extra for the peeps). They're handmade, and they range from silly notes/drawings with cheesy jokes to actual equipment/tools and sometimes even clothing and jewelry.

I COULD GO ON FOR SO LONG, BUT IF YOU READ THIS FAR THANK YOU FOR BEING AN ENJOYER!!!! And drink some water, you're dehydrated you fucking amazing dewdrop angel baby

HAVE A GOOD TIMEZONE!!!

[pepperstories]

Dirty Talk | Joseph Quinn | Best Friend Series

I'm thinking about making this a series. Basically, I have the idea of two best friends, in loads of movies/tv series together normally as a "couple" because of chemistry. But this will be angsty and fluffy...but yeah. Poll below, please tell me what to do!

Enjoy a taster! ❤️

warnings: smoking, coffee, sex chat, vagina's, coffee, joe has a best friend who is also a co-star.

“Seagull saves helpless kitten from Dam.”

“Kim Kardashian slays again with latex all in one.”

“Man cheats on wife with toaster.”

“How well do YOU know your body? It’s all about the A-spot.”

 

As far as online new headlines went, your perked interest at the last coveting heading had her hooked. It was a sweltering Sunday morning in London.

The flat you shared with your room mate was basked in early morning sunrise and ever window was opened to ease the tempering heat. The small flat sat adjacent to the bustling Borough Market and already queues of local’s and tourists anticipated the opening of the various street vendors and markets.

You could hear the cries of babies, the excited chatter of friends and the roller shutters slamming to welcome the growing crowds.

Although London was not your homeland, you basked in the sweet atmosphere that the growing City had to offer. And Sundays were always filled with greasy pub made burgers, ice cold pints in the beer gardens and the soft stagger home at teatime for toast and tea in front of the telly. You could hardly wait.

The article, however, pulled your attention away from the light commotion outside. The Cosmopolitan hyperlink page attached to the “How to make your sex life unforgettable” flashed bright on your screen. The various light pinks and borderline provocative images of peaches with thongs wrapped around them indicating to you what sort of article you were about to read.

An article highlighting that you did in fact have NO idea about your own anatomy. A new erogenous zone located in furthest region on your intimate anatomy that engrossed you further. The “wet zone” was the cute name that referred to this new piece of information.

 

“You reading fanfictions about yourself again?” The startling voice of your best friend and current roommate caused the phone to slightly jump from your hands. A hand to your chest, you threw a glare at the bed headed male strutting towards you with a flat white in one hand and an unlit cigarette in the other.

 

“I done that ONCE and don’t pretend you don’t read smut about yourself.” Too preoccupied with the article at hand, you took no notice of him sitting across from you. The small patio set they purchased just days before and placed into the small nook by the large bay windows.

“I have and I do, on a regular basis because that’s the only action this stud muffin is getting.” He sipped his coffee after the fact and proceeded to light the perfectly constructed roll up. Slightly offended that he never rolled one for you.

“Join the club mate.” Although it was only a mutter, the article itself hammered home just how deprived you really were.

“What are you reading anyways? You’re all hunched up over there?” He inhaled the smoke and released through his nostrils like a dragon. His steaming hot coffee took turns on his lips with the much needed nicotine stick. 

“Oh, just an article telling me how clueless I am about the female anatomy.” Shrugging at your own words, you weren't wrong. His eyes seemed to perk slightly, an intrigue that caused him to sit forward more in his seat. 

“Well, look no further. I am the man for the job.” 

Making grabby hands at his friend, Joe decided that this article would further fuel his knowledge on the female anatomy should he one day have a day off to use it. Staring at him over the bridge of your nose, you handed your iPhone to him. He glanced and read. He pondered and hummed. His face showing the same level of surprise and slight arousal that you had when you clicked on the link. 

“Jesus, how many fucking zones do you have? You’re all worse than the London Underground.” He laughed at his own attempt at a joke but realised the woman in front of him was still processing the information. 

“If there really is an area in the vagina that makes you instantly wet, how in God’s name does it take so much effort to actually get there?” Your sudden frustrated outburst gave Joe the insight into his best friend and co-stars sex life.

You both had conversations like this all the time. You grew up together, you had scenes together similar to a loving relationship and he only just realised the predicament. You both haven’t had a proper relationship in years. 

“You don’t get wet during foreplay?” He was always brash with his questions. He never liked to tiptoe, especially with her. 

“I mean, yeaaah, but the “Wax on, wax off” motion only gets you so far.” Doing the motion with your hands caused him to choke on his coffee. The cheeky laugh echoing in their small flat making you smile.

It was true. You both had "relations" but never anything past a second or third date. Get in, get the job done and "see you later". With scheduling issues and consistent travelling, you realised that your one night stands were whittling away all the sexual desires you used to have.


“When was the last time you had sex?” You asked him. His face was still buried in the phone, zoomed in on a detailed pdf of the inner mechanisms of the female anatomy. He seemed to look off slightly, like he was calculating a large sum in his head. 

“About 4 months ago?” He winced slightly. The interaction with said female was awkward and downright…forgettable. You nodded slightly, tugging a chapped bottom lip between your teeth. 

“You?” His eyebrow raised slightly, locking your iPhone, and placing it in the middle of the table. You didn’t go for it right away as you too calculated the exact moment you had sex. 

“About 8 months ago.” He hissed slightly, drawing a breath in through puckered lips as he felt the pain in his stomach for you. You huffed slightly and picked up the phone to scroll further into the supermassive blackhole of the Cosmopolitan website. 

“How many orgasms is too many?” You repeated out loud, huffing again at the article title, you threw the blasted contraption back on to the table. That got you thinking. 

“I had sex 8 months ago, but it doesn’t mean that I’m not satisfied.” You laughed slightly. His eyes peaked as he laughed the smoke out of his mouth. The end of the roll up was always your favourite and you made a peace sign towards him, and he simply cradled the wrinkled cigarette in between your fingers.

“Getting yourself off isn’t the same as sex. It might scratch the itch, but it certainly doesn’t satisfy.” He rolled the “s” out a little too long as he sat back in his chair, watching you eb the remnants of his cigarette. 

“Yeah but, the sex I had 8 months ago was basically me doing all the hard work. Sure he was fiiiiine but there was no…earth shattering, knee quacking, burst of white light orgasm at the end of it." You pulled your legs down from the seat and faced your friend head on. He leaned further forward, matching you. Your elbows on the table and leaned close like they were gossiping schoolgirls.

"Have you ever had that? That laying on your back afterwards, no words coming to mind. You can’t quite catch your breath and process what just happened.” It almost came out like a sigh and Joe heard the longing in your voice. It was captivating. 

“Maybe when I was 18?” You knew who he was talking about. Samantha Smith, a twenty-four year old post graduate law student whose name fell right out of the pages of Nuts magazine. A minor in gymnastics and a major in blow jobs as he described it one day. 

“Did you ever hook up again with Sammy Sizzler?” Your childish nickname for the woman was only given in jest as you knew the woman was quite smitten with a young Joseph.

“Did I fuck. She was shagging half the rugby team at her university and had a terrible habit of thinking that ever guy liked a finger up the bum.” The hysterical laughter couldn’t be helped. You imagined your best friend flinching at the very prospect of a sneaky backdoor fingering. Wiping tears from your eyes, your cringing friend sat crossed armed and looked pained from the memory of it. 

“You said she gave the best blow job AND that she could contort herself like a balloon animal.” You said this whilst laughing and he decided to join you. It was an experience to behold and as an 18 year old, shy drama geek, he was opened to all opportunities. He wasn’t exactly in the position to be picky, and he just decided that the older woman’s taste in sexual prowess was too rich for his blood.

“She did but it was slightly off putting. She contorted herself so much that I couldn’t find where I was supposed to go.” This started another round of high pitched laughter and table slapping from his best friend.

“Have you ever had the "earth shattering, knee quacking, burst of white light" orgasm?” He swooned when he quoted you, and you didn’t appreciate the mocking in his voice. 

“I haven’t. That’s what I’m getting at.” Placing your palms flat on the table, you pulled yourself out of the seat. You needed a coffee and a cigarette to further fuel the very conversation you were about to have. You couldn’t be sat in front of your best friend whilst describing what you really experienced. 

“You remember Evan? Tall, blonde with the birthmark on his forehead?” He nodded.

“Evan Almighty?.” He added for dramatic effect, using the same mocking tone you used earlier when describing his “best orgasm”.

With a roll of your eyes, the few paces it took to enter the small kitchen wasn’t far enough away for your liking. A balled up tea towel was launched at his head and when he caught it, he waved it like a white flag.

“He done this thing with his mouth. I can’t explain it.” Leaning against the counter, you looked up at the light as you began scrolling through the many pages of your brain for a verb best to describe the man’s talent.

Switching on the coffee machine, the loud hum of the machinery as well as the drumming of your fingers on the counter distracted you slightly from the thoughts. 

“He was so attentive. It was like he was going to stop at nothing. It went on for so long that I can’t even remember if we actually had sex.” You laughed at yourself. You were 19 when you met Evan at the pub. You left Joe at the bar with your Mum and Dad to speak to the Welsh soon-to-be accountant.

Exchanging numbers, you both left it the right amount of time to contact each other before meeting up for dinner and drinks. 

“What happened?” Joe stood up from his seat and walked to stand next to you in the small kitchen, placing his empty cup beside the coffee machine like the queue of cups you see in Starbucks. You simply shrugged at the question and replaced your now full cup with his and switching the coffee pods. 

“He never called. Never texted. Just…vanished.” You realised now that you never had sex because he had been going down on you so long, that he finished against your university hall bedsheets and didn’t quite have the stamina to go again.

“I think he was dry humping the mattress and finished too fast.” You were breathy and clammy at the thought. It could have been minutes or even hours, but you felt absolutely exhilarated after it.

Like the first real draw of a cigarette without the coughing or the taste of an artisan coffee on holiday with new rich flavours and ceramic cups that just added to the tasing pleasure. 

“Rookie.” Was all he muttered as he flipped the switch of the coffee machine.

You simply rolled your eyes at his clear showmanship of masculinity. Grabbing the pouch tobacco and the utensils for rolling, you sat back in your patio chair again. 

“You’re telling me that you’ve never had a “quick draw” moment?” Scoffing at Joe, he sat heavily into his seat, sploshing coffee onto their new table. He pondered slightly. 

“Maybe when I was fourteen.” He sipped. A smug looking smirk on his face when you side eyed him. Rolling expertly, you flicked a cigarette in his direction and continued rolling for yourself.

“Fourteen? Really? You do realise I’ve been your best friend for near 18 years, and I never seen you even remotely interested in women at that age.” The last couple of words were mumbled as you placed the cigarette between your lips. Lighting it with the shared zippo, you leaned back on your seat as you watched him gasp. 

“We’ve been best friends for 18 years?” He was genuinely surprised at the revelation. Although you came from different parts of the country, you met during a Junior induction week at LAMDA. Yet to finish school, their parents encouraged both of you to pursue your dream of acting and decided the necessary cost was there to help them achieve it.

Meeting every summer for 6 weeks to do your summer courses before finally enrolling in your undergraduate course. You both worked alongside each other in just about every series and movie given to you. You never had one without the other.

“Yep. 18 years of knowing you babe.” Winking at him, you raised your cup to cheers him. His eyes softening at the gesture as he clinked his “Don’t fucking talk to me before coffee” mug with your “Don't look at me cunt” mug. Christmas gifts you both got for each other when money was tight. 

“Jesus, that long eh? How can we stomach each other?” He jested. His coffee seemed sweeter and more aromatic because you made it for him. The bitter taste of Columbian Roast still heavy on his tongue as he sucked the cigarette. 

“I know right?” You sighed contently into your coffee mug as a comfortable silence eased between you both. 

“So…” He started. 

“What was the thing he done with his tongue?”

Remember to follow, reblog! Interact with me! I love to write and I have so many ideas...but I need a baseline!

[inature]

Greatest invention known to man, Part 2 :)))

[maria-sultada]

unsent letter.pdf

love showed its face a year ago today love was gentle, golden says thank you, always tells the most awkward but funniest jokes

love loves people, women - especially women love looks with a glint in its eyes a smirk burrowed in its lips

love never touches, it holds: hands, waist, shoulder, heart love has a habit of caging me with its body close enough for nicotine to caress my face

for once, love made me want but love is a shapeshifter, a renegade it smiles, laughs while twisting the knife it tries, but is never genuinely kind

love easily trembles, brave in the dark cowers in the light it spews dirt when rejected, throws a fit when threatened

love breathes my name like cheap jewel in its crown - a point to prove a plaything to devour an enemy to slay, most of the time

never, as skin and bones and beating heart and thinking mind and fragile soul

love held me like water in its hands, gave me hell when I chose to drift away love made me hate airports - the coming, the going the waiting

love looks, but never really sees love hears, but never really listens it's patient but weak and self-seeking it takes advantage of wrong and blurs the truth.

love showed its face a year ago today, and I hope I have never met it at all.

[mickgaydolenz]

so this is like the fourth dream I've had where I was a smoker. wtf. why??? is this foreshadowing????

I was walking arounf this parking lot, alone n stuff. it was kinda like the sideways ones on the side of a gas station in the middle of nowhere, and I was just walking around. SMOKING. then I heard from someones radio that there was an alien breaching the sky and to get under metal or glass that was tinted???? and I ran to this minivan and hid inside it, then went back on my merry way smoking and wandering. then there was another radio call and I went to hide in this car that was flipped over but a (very nice) old call said "no!!! the glass isn't tinted!!!" so I was like "oh yeah you're right" and bit down on my cigarette and started running away to an ambulance. and when I got in there there was an old man, a young dude, and a little girl. it was pretty crowded, and the dude had a chunk missing out of his foot that the old man was wrapping.

and the dude started looking around the ambulance (magically no one cared I was literally chain smoking in an ambulance) and he just noticed all of the Laudium (WHY WAS LAUDIUM IN AN AMBULANCE) and he was just like "okay everyone get out I want this laudium" and started waving his gross bloody foot thinking it would do something (it didn't) and so the old man just knocked him out by PUNCHING HIM IN THE FACE

then it felt like i was at this.....commune? and to no one's surprise I was still smoking. and for reals like, I wasn't just walking around with a cigarette in my mouth. I was taking huffs and puffs of it and inhaling it and blowing it out my nose. i am mortified thinking back on that but I also know I'll never be as cool as dream raya who smokes during an alien invasion and in a hippie commune.

anways in the commune my phone buzzed in my pocket and this is the miraculous part, I CAN'T READ IN MY DREAMS. YOU KNOW THIS. BUT WHEN MY PHONE BUZZED I COULD READ THE TEXT I GOT.

basically it was my friend canceling plans her and I made in the real world to go see Elvis but. I'll remake what our convo looked like

Friend:"I'm so sorry"

"whats wrong?"Me

Friend:"57"

and SOMEHOW I knew that when she said that she meant the tickets to see elvis were 57 dollars and she didn't have that, so I told her I'd buy her a ticket. then kept hanging out at this random commune where everyone had long hair. I had the shortest hair out of everyone there. also everyone kept offering me weed because I smoked but apparently dream Raya drew the line at the devil's jazz cabbage, just nicotine.

anyway there was another alien thing and I had to hide in a tent which didn't work-then I was beamed up into the sky and I woke up

i love that you got to just be the cool dude that doesn’t care and just smokes protagonist in your post apocalyptic dream, like slay king ✨💅

[jujurose222]

I will NEVER hit a cart ever again in my life.

This is such a lie, but I wish I would stick to this because I hate my life anytime I have one. I haven’t had one in a long while, or a nic stick, slay. But it’s really unfortunate how bad I actually would love a rip of both. Oh my god a blue nic stick, if I see one more person with a blue one I’m gonna scream. I AM NOT ALLOWED EVEN THOUGH I WANT IT BAD.

We learned in my class about why nicotine is so bad for you, and the whole time I was just like damn. It makes your body have to fight so much harder, and I think I’ve been addicted to that feeling of constant fight or flight. We learn about that a lot and why it’s so bad for us, and why it’s so prominent now. Almost everyone is in a constant state of destress all the time and causes so many medical problems.

Even so, my body is like GIMME THE BUZZ. Especially now that I’m working all the time, the feeling of getting off a shift and ripping your nic and actually getting a buzz is so awesome. But I always end up abusing it. There’s no way not to. And then I have to fight to stop hitting it. And then I’ll be good, and then I rip one again and the cycle begins AGAIN.

[l0st-h0p3]

It’s giving manic & depressive borderline, eating disorder relapsing, toxic family structure, CPTSD bitch, girly pop unhinged silenced episodes all medicated with an SSRI and Anti Psychotic (cuz you know we crazy hoe) mixed with an overabundance of marijuana, nicotine, and caffeine

Honestly vibes slay the house down Houston I’m deceased

[babygirlwasblonde]

I deserve(d) love

I deserve(d) peace

I deserve(d) truth

I deserve(d) loyalty

I deserve(d) to pursue meaningful relationships with people who at their core are good humans

I deserve(d) to find my highest self and keep ascending

I deserve(d) to leave my old life behind and move onto better things

I deserve(d) to create a new life I love in California while holding a special place in my heart for North Carolina; east coast to west coast baby <3

I deserve(d) to be cherished, uplifted, and inspired

I deserve(d) to be uplifting and inspiring

I deserve(d) to live a life free of illicit drugs, prescription medications, weed, and alcohol — and people who live that scene

I deserve(d) to quit poisoning my health with nicotine

I deserve(d) to eliminate toxicity without explanation

I deserve(d) to fill my own void, conquer my demons, and uphold my self worth; I am valuable

I deserve(d) to nourish myself properly and kindly

I deserve(d) to reflect on my consumption of more than food; what’s feeding my soul? what am I listening to? how do I spend my time? what’s the quality of those who surround me? am I taking advice from people who are where I want to be?

I deserve(d) to evolve my body and spirit simultaneously

I deserve(d) to turn my love inward and give love to those who are divinely put on my path

I deserve(d) to be reminded of the person I am and the roots I come from

I deserve(d) to rise above

I deserve(d) to be open minded

I deserve(d) to be an idealist and see the beauty in everyone and everything

I deserve(d) to radically accept others for who they are and where they are on life’s journey

I deserve(d) to watch life come back into my eyes

I deserve(d) to smile and laugh again, and always — my smile is one I love the most

I deserve(d) to prioritize growth

I deserve(d) to prioritize integrity

I deserve(d) to prioritize light-heartedness

I deserve(d) to prioritize authenticity

I deserve(d) genuine happiness and people who bring it out in me

I deserve(d) to trust myself and choose not to be manipulated

I deserve(d) to compassionately forgive myself for not trusting or following my own instinct in the past

I deserve(d) to show up for my life and have faith in God’s timing

I deserve(d) to stay grounded, yet live abundantly

I deserve(d) to preserve my vitality and be selective with my energy

I deserve(d) to learn, albeit the hard way, that nothing is personal and people can only love you as much as they love themselves

I deserve(d) to speak my piece and rest in the truth

I deserve(d) to love this beautiful life, beautiful world, and admire the sublime artistry of it all

I deserve(d) to love myself; and experience my potential unfolding

I deserve(d) to recognize I am a badass woman with purpose

I deserve(d) to thrive after hitting and surviving rock bottom

I deserve(d) to love every moment, every ache, and every lesson as I am becoming who I’m meant to be, who this world needs me to be, and who I want to be

I deserve(d) to share my love

I deserve(d) new shoes :D

I deserve(d) to not only appreciate the small things, but enjoy them

I deserve(d) to make an impact where I’m lead

I deserve(d) to do what I want, set boundaries, and not feel guilty

I deserve(d) to have and live by a cheerful spirit

I deserve(d) because God created deep love that runs through my veins

I deserve(d) to romanticize my life

I deserve(d) to stop playing small and/or allowing other people to dim my light; I am light

I deserve(d) to vibrate at higher frequencies

… keep reflecting … keep affirming … keep curiously challenging learnt behavior … keep embracing gratitude and the blessings … keep slaying goals …

^ that was good fun

[barrrrbiegirl]

No more excuses

Going to be using this as a literal blog to hold myself accountable through my healing journey.

Goals: - Wake up earlier - Put more time into self care - Stop relying on boys - Quit nicotine! - Spend more time with friends and family - Spend less time on my phone - Romanticise my life - Slay the day away

[rawrmeansilyindinosawr]

THE L GOT YASSIFIED N GHANDI IS AT 14TH ST UNION SQUARE!!!!!!?!??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the L stawped being a cunt on the weekendz w it’s fuckin delays n got individual seats that don’t clap back when u sit down ! Altho i am a “clap back “ advocate (Let ur cheekz Speak if they must ) i do wonder why

why is it always so awkward to hit on someone on public transit ?

we sit across each other staring each other down n i wish u were clumsy enough.

to leave a bag or your phone or wallet on the seat so i could say something to you but nothing is scripted here on this island of a city. there are only real moments. and this includes the pain in the people watching cuz sometimes we just end up watching them live their lives so much so in admiration we watch them leave.

I wrote dat ab some rly long white person with a maroon jumpsuit. N i don’t hav the energy to post a misc connection on Queer craigslist /LEX soooooo. Whut eve.

Dis week i hav been severely depressed n isolative besides for the day that the pilgrims decided to say it wuz the day that wuz gonna b ab slaying n giving . i ate sum dead bird n made sure even their bone marrow life mattered n cartilage cuz post veganism n peta rites advocate type beat a life is a mf life . Hoe .

Mi boss at union square Market s@id she saw her nekked neighbur whilst walkin around the duck truck. whut wuld u do if ur nekkid neighbor came to ur place of werk n every1 sais he is a rly nice person but he had a big SSHLONG. Now i kno whut ima wish 4 on my wishlist. No this isn’t 4 other bitchez . Nor is it for sshlong reveal. I wish some1 wuld notice meh as the nekkid neighbur at the union Square holidey market.

I whuhz almost in luv w a gurl who luved big patty wattyz n raised awareness for autism via tiK tok last yr n also i hate lex now!!!!!!!!!!! 2 many ppl wanting to give out their used sheets n Service tops who dont wanna Host . But i do thoroughly enjoy when Ppl wanna give their free concert tickets out . So lex gonna b the new ticketmaster to me but anarchist - community fridge version Without the food . Smfh . Y it gotta take watching perks of being a wallflower to realize we regret picking the boy w the eyebrow piercing when we culdve picked the 1 who got hit by a car butt still ended up pullin up to bossa limpin .

Im in luv with club E n gave them my tiara cuz they r a tucking princess and cuz their music reminds meh of myspace era sheit. Also they name is ren like me TWOOOOOO. twinnem:-] <3

As car seat headrest sayz in its only seggs i think bc of his demisexual cusp of asexual self .

“

OK, so I've been reading all the sex blogs

And they all talk about how OK it is to be gay

And straight and bisexual and asexual

And have sex however you like

But I don't care about hundreds of hypothetical people

And their hypothetical sex deals

I care about me, and my sex deal!

What about my problems?

Baby, my body

Constantly betrays me

I try to betray it

I only hurt myself

Yeah, yeah

I can't tell you if I like it, I like it

What happens if I don't like it? I like it

I can't tell you if I like it, I like it

What happens if I don't like it? It's only-

It's only sex

It's only

It's only sex

C'mon, sexual desire, speak! “

My brain is too fried from vyvanze dependence to decipher n explain it all right meow . I jus kno i luv those lyrics n i luv when post club - post party we all come back to mi lil floor mattress in mi tiny room n we kuddle puddle!!!!!!

Saw a Zyn nicotine ad omw to my lobotomy apt at callen lourde this mornin n i miss the dude who gav tht to meh while me werkin this japanese restaurant once n holy sheit i wuz shaking n shitting n crying my entire shift . I miss werking there cuz i made $400 a shift n lowkey I could get any vacation hours i wanted. Now im like a finance bro who goes to reggae bars in the city N gets pussy on hinge . v_v RIP!!!!!

i havnt been to saint vitus penus yet but thts Ok cuz i heard someone saw pee pee juice n eyeball juice on the bathroom mirror once n ill just stick to duffz if i wanna find a punk goth giorl to destroy my Third hole . Im crying a lot these days super fragile as well as today being a significant date for me N i missh ketamine so damn much butt i refuse to sniff anymore cuz i nvr kno how to dose w the diff german strainz n i always get sickie or khole n see myself on a train n being someone’s mutha . Weird!!!!!!!!!!’

Idek if i givin up on life or life givin up on meh but im just mf done . N i kno dis cuz im in my candle era yall . Where i lie n say i’m “running errands “ but sniffin diff candles at target n burglington ALONE . all dis for some mf seratonin biotch ????!!!????? Alsoo last randomo thot but i luv one of my good friendz from nyu n they were ganged up on bc of some DUMB RUMORS n i gots to say i kant stand a fucking bully or ppl who kant extend grace to others cuz it just feels v cliquey n stupid . Lik if we rly gonna believ rumors n gossip n not see someone’s character or try to understand i don’t see how ppl can b ok wit the ppl they hav to be with when they r alone with themselvez at nite . We r constantly evolving and it’s wrong to hold things against people esp in this age and this goes for me as well. I hope to receive the grace and love and empathy that I extend .

Soooooo many more fuckin thots n ramblingz like how i wish there was a poll i could start somewhere outside of instagram ab who wuld fuck G Eazy post halsey (Cmon , “tumblr girls”was an AMAZING song!!!!!!) N how much i luv egg by the garden but. Til nxt wk Babez.

Xx , ketaminechic NOT CHICK who doesn’t do ketamine anymore but kant put the energy into changing it then changing it on all platforms cuz omfGGGGGGGggg who cares that deeply ab this social media Bullsheit anywayzzz , Renny baby <3 :-] visit me at union square market Booth c20til Xmas eve !!!