#skunk train

[inyoureyes-415]

Bad Film - double exposure

March 2023

Location: Fort Bragg, California

[handsometabbyc]

Happened across this fun mug with a Christmas themed skunk train skunk. Can't seem to find evidence of it but I know the skunk train has a Christmas run where they give you hot cocoa in complementary mugs... so I feel like that's where this guy came from

[eltristan]

Looks good in giraffe-speckled Rust-Oleum! -- essentially the same Mack-powered Brill as the famous yellow "Skunk Train" on the California & Western but on the Buffalo Creek & Gauley was merely the "A" afik

SRC 21 by Steve Sloan Via Flickr: Strasburg Rail Road (SRC) Mack/Brill Railbus 21 is sitting outside at the Railroad Museum of Pennsylvania outside of Strasburg, PA on Sunday, July 7, 2019. A 1921-built gasoline powered Mack Model AC railbus. The chassis was built by Mack, the truck people, and the body was built by Brill. It originally was constructed, serial number 6005, as number 20 for the Lewisburg, Milton & Watsonville Passenger Railway, a Pennsylvania trolley line. In 1928 it became PRR 4738 and in 1931 it was sold to the Artemus-Jellico, a Kentucky shortine. In 1941 it was aquired by the the Buffalo Creek & Gauley (BC&G) as their car “A”. It later went to the SRC then the Railroad Museum of Pennsylvania.

[kniftsstuff]

Rambley!!! <3

[glavilio]

i am fond of him

[skunkes]

i don't even knowww arcane but the way you draw silco is ❤️❤️❤️

THANK YOUU

[the-zapped-part-timer]

[x15lm204]

A fond farewell to Caramel Apple Bunny (??? - December 4th, 2024). You hopped into our lives when we were lost and helped us find our feet again. It won't be the same without you, but your memory will help carry us forward.

[bbbubbleboyzzz]

something something dream about shitty movie about some ugly ass rats that live like humans kinda and talk like mafia bosses

[bktoons]

Here are more of my oc's Stan the skunk and Kevin the rabbit, as you can see they are train conductors.  The last time I drew Stan and Kevin was 10 years ago.

[cherrychilli]

18+ Steve Harrington x F! reader, friends to lovers, skinny dipping, PIV sex, unprotected sex, semi public sex, pool sex WC:1.9K

A/N: Feeling very rusty so I'm attempting to dust the cobwebs off my brain and get back into the swing of things with a little bit of Steve filth.

This will they won't they thing was starting to get old.

The casual flirting between you and your neighbor had ramped up in the last month, but you knew him well enough to realize when he's pulling back on the reins, even if subtly.

Up until now you'd enjoyed the way Steve's gaze wandered over you and the playful banter that tended to edge towards suggestive. You'd even glimpsed the only semblance of 'King Steve' that'd remained ever since he turned his whole image inside out a few years ago — that slight, but thankfully tolerable air of playboy confidence you couldn't find in yourself to dislike despite how you made sure to roll your eyes whenever it appeared.

But things were starting to fizzle out now, you could feel it. This thing that had started to brew between you and Steve seemed to be following the trajectory of a bottle rocket — the chemistry you shared soared for a while but now the chances of things becoming serious appeared to be heading for a nosedive.

Your discerning eyes were too sharp, noticing the flickers of hesitation and trepidation that peeked through when he spoke with you now, less flirting as of late, more awkward floundering and not the adorable kind.

You don't know it yet but the reason was because all those fears he'd thought he'd long outrun had started to shadow him again, afraid of things panning out like they always had in his love life.

The Harrington charm drew the girls in like bumblebees to pollen, everything turning sticky sweet for a while but it always ended the same way — with Steve getting stung.

He's gotten in his head about it — every bad date, every lousy hook up, every ounce of self doubt he'd tried hard to swallow down regurgitating back up in his mind like bile. He'd even begun to second guess if you really wanted him the way he wanted you, scared of messing things up if he were to make a real move because he doesn't want to lose you. Not after all the years of liking you so much.

Oblivious to his internal turmoil, you only know that the waiting's been hell on you, feeling more than a little fed up of all the flirting that hadn't led to anything more than a spike in sexual tension and a bunch of almost kisses a couple of times you'd been alone with Steve.

Almost wasn't good enough.

You wanted to show him that you were serious about him — no more bullshit. You were determined to go after what you wanted, taking it upon yourself to make the first move, knowing it'll have to be something big if you were going to really convince him.

And you have the perfect thing in mind.

~

Given he was supposed to be the only one home at this hour, the sound of swashing water echoing from the pool deck comes off more alarming than anything else.

Ears trained in that direction, Steve quietly steps closer towards the noise, cautiously placing one foot in front of the other like he's walking a tightrope.

Was it robbers?

No, robbers only break in to take your shit, not take a dip, he shook his head, feeling stupid he'd even considered it at all.

Speed running a list of possibilities in his mind, a slight shiver ran through him as he quietly hoped it wasn't another skunk that had wandered too close to the edge again, nearly gagging at the memory of how the scared, drenched animal had rewarded him for saving its life a few months back.

Peering out of the entry way, he reckoned he would have guessed a hundred other things before he ever would have guessed what he saw outside. Dropping his keys and jaw, he finds you wading in his pool. Unbothered and very much unclothed.

"Um...you're in my pool", he states as he steps out, dumbfounded.

"And you're..."

He doesn't say it. He wont, afraid that if he did, whatever's happening might suddenly stop. Hell, it felt far too good to be true, half expecting to bolt upright in bed at any second to find it'd been a dream all along, a tent in his plaid pajama bottoms waiting to greet him.

"I am" you confirm, knowing exactly what he'd meant to say, smiling devilishly.

With the pool lights on, your lack of swimwear is obvious against the blue tiles although the rippling water surface obscures your body enough to prevent him from getting a clear look at you no matter how much he squints in an attempt to focus.

"You sure know how to keep a girl waiting, Harrington", you chide, moonlight making your wet skin glitter like topaz.

"Huh?", Steve shakes his head, the jolt crackling up the length of his spine feeling far too real to be part of a dream. This is happening. This is really fucking happening, thunders and echoes inside his head, the realization making his palms turn clammy — the first time since his teens that a girl's elicited that kind of bodily reaction out of him.

"Got tired of waiting for you to nut up and make a move", you wade closer to the edge of the pool with all the allure of a siren approaching shore, the tops of your breasts showing above the surface.

"I want you, Steve", you beckon to him sweetly. Sincerely. "Come join me. It's lonely in here", you finish with a little pout.

He's never undressed quicker in his entire life — all of those nerves and doubts ironed out of him with that one simple confirmation.

You watch as his belt is unbuckled in a flurry, shirt following as it's tossed off to the side. It occurs to you then to offer him a modicum of privacy because it feels like the right thing to do, placing your hands over your eyes until he submerges himself into the water with you. But not before you submit to another urge, sneaking one quick peek between your fingers, your cheeks growing hot when you glimpse his half hard length dangling between his legs.

Covering your eyes again, you wait for him to join you, growing giddy when you feel him enter the water and wade closer to you.

You're met with that hopelessly moony smile of his when he gently pries your hands away from your face. "You always leave your clothes behind when you trespass or is this a new thing for you?", he asks, pearly teeth peeking out as his smile widens into a grin.

You laugh back, a little surprised that you'd gone through with it yourself. "Gonna beef up security around here if I keep it up?", you joked lightly, earning a chuckle from your neighbor.

"Fuck no. I'll even take down the fence so you don't have to hop it next time", he grinned harder, deviously handsome in the moonlight.

Your toes brush his as you wade a little closer, a shiver running through you despite the warmth of the water you're chest deep in. "It was between this or surprising you in your car", you told him, sharing the plan you'd concocted the night before. "You know— trench coat, hide in the backseat. Pretty classy stuff but then I thought about it a little more and realized it sounded kinda sketchy", you made a face, scrunching up your nose. "Didn't want you to think you were getting carjacked or something", you huffed another laugh.

Steve pales a little, laughing along nervously, the corner of his mouth twitching.

"Hadn't even thought of that", he lied, glad he didn't rush out here swinging his bat like he would have had he not convinced himself otherwise about the robbers.

As the amusement tapers you focus your stare on the rise and fall of Steve's chest and the hair matted against it, pressing a hand there to feel his taught, wet skin.

There's a lull in your banter as his hands find your waist and your own starts to trail down, gliding over the plane of his soft stomach, fingers dipping underwater to skim the coarse trail of hair below his bellybutton.

Your touches are delicate for a start, fingers curling around Steve's erection as you feel him twitch in your palm, your thumb gently sweeping over the bump of a vein before trailing up to find his tip.

You meet his gaze when you glide the pad of your thumb over the head of his cock, smooth and from what you can tell, sensitive from the way his breath stutters and his length flexes in your hand.

The waiting comes to an end then.

Steve leans in as quickly as you do, lips meeting yours, the scent of chlorine strong on your bodies, his chest pressing against your breasts. It's a dizzying minute of his tongue hungrily brushing against yours before he pulls you up by the underside of your thighs, encouraging you to wrap your legs around his waist.

Your body reacts quickly, crossing your ankles behind his back. His shaft nudges your clit from this angle and it makes you whine into his mouth, all needy from being deprived this kind of intimacy because of how he'd held back all those weeks.

He pulls away from the kiss to look as you, cupping your cheek with his hand.

"I know baby, I know. Made you wait for it too long didn't I? Don't worry I'm going to give it to you now, okay?", he coos, one part reassuring one part cocky.

Your core aches with anticipation when he says it, desire heavy and burning in your belly.

"Steve wait", you cut him off before his lips can come down on yours again.

"Yeah?"

"Could you— could you do it rough? that's how I want it", you tell him, digging your nails into his biceps. You're in no mood for anything soft or slow. Not right now. Not after waiting this long.

"Whatever you want— I'll give you anything you want", he promises, leaning in to kiss you again.

It doesn't take long for the swashing to recommence, building up to a loud, choppy splashing. Your back will carry evidence of how he has you pressed against the side of the pool tomorrow, arms wrapped around his neck as his tip meets your entrance and he works it inside, his length rutting into your soft core, punching out a chorus of moans and whimpers wrapped around his name.

Before he's completely lost to the warm, wet tightness of your walls wrapping around him, Steve only prays that none of his other neighbors care enough to peek over because if they did, things were bound to get awkward at the next block party.

"Promise me you w-won't go cold on me again", you beg when he locates that spot inside you, the head of his cock dragging over it just right.

"I promise", he answers, unclenching his jaw to nip at your bottom lip. "Promise me you'll go out with me after this? be my girlfriend?"

It nearly sends you reeling, being asked the question you'd been waiting to hear for weeks now as he's literally inside you, making your orgasm approach faster.

Smiling hard, you're still letting out little uh's and ah's because he doesn't let up his pace, driving his cock into you, all hard and fast just like how you wanted.

You couldn't wait to keep making up for all that time you spent doing anything that wasn't this, gasping out your answer.

"I promise"

[marlynnofmany]

One More Earth Animal

Since the only reason our spaceship had a cat was because I’d rescued a family of them from people who had no business keeping any animal, and since a couple of crewmates had helped in that rescue, and everyone was agreed that it was a deed well done, I was very interested when I heard that our newest courier job was transporting another rescued cat.

I was loading supplies on the far end of the ship when I got a message from the captain about this last-minute addition. I was the animal expert — from the same planet as our new cargo, no less — and she requested my presence. The extra info that the cat had been dumped on a colony world by illegal traders who hadn’t been able to sell it just made me hurry through the hallways faster.

As I entered the cargo bay, my thoughts were on whether I should have detoured to grab a medical scanner, and wondering if Telly would want to be friends with the furball in the cage. Where was that cage? Ah, over by the door next to the captain and the customer. Other crewmates were loading boxes while they talked.

“I’m glad you’re going in the right direction,” the customer said while she signed the payment tablet with several red tentacles, while waving two more for emphasis. “This isn’t the first time somebody’s dumped live cargo, and at least this time I know a guy from the right planet who’s eager for a new pet. Sounds like he misses Earth, and would be happy to have anything that reminds him of home. Oh hey, speaking of which!” She waved a tentacle at me as I walked up. “Another Earthling. Good luck all around.”

Captain Sunlight nodded and took the payment tablet back, every inch the dignified lizard alien. “Yes, Robin here has been a big help with animal cargos, cats in particular.”

“My pleasure,” I said with a wave. “Can I get a look?” The cage was the kind with bars on the front and only ventilation holes on the sides; good for animals that needed to feel safely hidden, but not great for trained veterinarians wanting to inspect them without opening the door.

“By all means,” the customer said, scooting the cage forward. “It’s been very calm. It shouldn’t give you any trouble.”

I crouched down from my tall human height and peered into the shadows, hoping the cat was healthy, not calm because of illness. Had they scanned it already? They must have.

A skunk peered back at me.

“Oh jeez!” I fell back and scrambled away, startling everyone in the room. “That’s not a cat! Keep your distance!”

Captain Sunlight immediately stepped away, alarm on her scaly face. “What is it? What’s the danger?” The customer was babbling in surprise, but I ignored her.

“That’s a skunk,” I said, fully aware that the name probably meant nothing here. “They’re a breathing hazard when provoked. They spray a toxic liquid that will ruin the air on our whole ship until it’s properly cleaned. You’re lucky it didn’t do it already.” I aimed that last at the customer.

She flailed her tentacles in distress. “It’s been very calm! Not afraid of anyone! Are you sure it’s not a cat?”

“Yes,” I said firmly. Then something else occurred to me. “Have you scanned it for disease?”

The tentacle movements turned guilty. “My assistant said he did…”

I leapt to my feet and raced down the hall. “Be right back! Don’t touch it!”

They replied, but I was already out of earshot, dodging past crewmates without stopping to explain. Rabies was largely eradicated on Earth, but this wasn’t Earth. And a potentially rabid skunk was infinitely worse than a tame one.

Eggskin was in the medbay; I didn’t pause to see what they were doing. I just grabbed the hand scanner from its spot on the wall and raced back the way I’d come. “Need this, thanks!”

Questions followed me, but I ran faster. Almost plowed into Blip going around a corner, but I ducked under her muscular elbow with an apology and kept going. Blop was right behind her, stepping to the side. The pair also had questions that I ignored.

Back in the cargo bay, Captain Sunlight was questioning the customer on the far side of the room, with Zhee and Paint also standing back. The cage was right where I’d left it.

I activated the scanner, getting as close as I dared. “Please don’t have rabies. Please please please.”

After a moment, the scanner pinged: Free Of Disease. Relief hit me like a wave. “It’s not contagious,” I announced.

The scanner was still processing, and it came up with extra information that made me laugh in deeper relief.

“Its stink gland was removed!” I collapsed onto the floor in front of the cage. “Doubly safe. Everything’s okay.”

Captain Sunlight said, “That is good news.”

The customer pressed several tentacles over where her heart probably was. “I didn’t need that kind of scare today! Clearly I should have words with the assistant who identified the species.”

“They got the planet right, at least,” I said, shutting off the scanner. “But yeah, if there’s a chance there are more skunks wandering around out there, you do NOT want to assume they’ll act like cats.”

Captain Sunlight was thinking ahead. “Will this be a problem for the recipient? Since it’s not the animal he’s expecting?”

The customer spread her tentacles. “He did say that he’d welcome any creature from home that could handle living indoors!”

I waggled my fingers experimentally, and the skunk waddled forward to sniff them. “I think it’ll be okay.”

Captain Sunlight asked, “This is an acceptable companion animal, once the gland is removed?”

I laughed. “No, they make terrible pets. But people have kept worse. I’ll have a talk with the guy on delivery, and I think it’ll be fine. This little fluffer has probably been raised by hand. And skunks really are adorable, once you get past that whole spraying issue.”

“Good to know,” said Captain Sunlight. She finished the transaction with the customer, who was more than happy to leave the skunk in our possession. Zhee and Paint expressed their own relief and finished moving boxes around. The captain volunteered to put the scanner back while I brought the animal cargo to our quietest storage hold.

I carried the cage very carefully, the polar opposite of my wild dash through the corridors earlier.

It took a while for Eggskin to find me, since apparently Blop had gotten a papercut or something that needed tending to, but after a few minutes the medic entered the storage bay with all the caution of someone approaching a dangerous creature.

Eggskin probably wasn’t expecting to find me holding it and cooing sweet nonsense while it chittered happily in my lap. But it really was friendly, and like I said, skunks are adorable.

~~~

These are the ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book.

Shared early on Patreon! There’s even a free tier to get them on the same day as the rest of the world.

The sequel novel is in progress (and will include characters from these stories. I hadn’t thought all of them up when I wrote the first book, but they’re too much fun to leave out of the second).

[transit-fag]

If Raccoons, Skunks and Possums were allowed on public transit, people would call the light rail the "vermin train" or some shit like that, even though none of those animals are bad or pests or anything like that.

[kniftsstuff]

[shaddork]

The Star That Wouldn't Die - Chapter 1

Jason Todd x Fem!Reader

Masterlist - Next > Summary: Jason Todd forgot a lot of things after the Lazarus pit's putrid green waters helped restore him back to life. He wished that Dick hadn't said that name, your name. Reigniting feelings and memories. As memories he thought were long lost start to return, can he continue to be in your life without dragging you down with him? Can he be in your life without you knowing who he is? He doesn't know, but he wants to try.

TW: Self Loathing, Description of violence

-------------------------------------------------

Chapter 1

Jason forgot a lot of things after being dipped into the murky, putrid smelling lazarus pit. Most of it was relatively unimportant information. Books he read - which just meant that he’d get to read them again-, the rich earthy smell of rain falling onto the ground, the layout of the manor that Bruce Wayne had so kindly taken him into as an extremely troubled young boy, names, silly memories with Bruce, Alfred, and Dick, the only true family that he thought he knew. The only things that remained completely intact were mostly traumatic memories, the way joker nearly beat him to death with a crowbar, asking if a forehand or backhand hit hurt more all while cackling into his bloody broken face. The sound of the bomb ticking down, the explosion that finally ended his life, begging for Batman to make it to him in time to save him. The way the woman he thought was his mother disappeared on day, leaving him alone and scrounging for any scraps he could possibly get, sleeping under an overhang of a building while rain poured down around him. Stealing the tires of the batmobile in a moment of desperation, being caught with a tire iron in his hands, trying to hide it behind his back convinced that he was going to die that day. The muscle memory from his training under Batman remained too, muscle memory that was only useful to a certain extent.

His body - his new body - felt foreign, wrong, twisted and contorted in a way it never had before. Larger than before, both in height and width. He felt like a stranger within his own body, barely recognized himself in the mirror even after the year spent with Talia Al Ghul and various trainers to hone his skills to make him even more deadly than he was before. His old scars were still present on his body, a stark almost white color against his skin, much like the skunk streak that now marred his permanently black hair. The pit had fixed that for him, the fact his hair wasn’t naturally black, and now he didn’t have a choice. He supposed it was better than being a ginger at least. Then there were the new scars and the stretch marks that marred his body. He’d grown and gained mass quickly, enough that almost no part of his body was mark free. 

He wished that Dick hadn’t said that name, your name. The immediate confusion at the sound of your name, only worsened when “Your childhood friend?” had been tacked on as an explanation. Emotions that he had no explanation for had reared their head at the sound of your name. It was confusing, frightening even. How he’d forgotten you, he had no clue, it was jarring, it made his mind reel. You’d been a large part of his life, and it had taken photos that Dick pulled out to jog his memory of who you were, and even then it was only partial. Memories came floating back, memories that felt like they belonged to an entirely different person. And he was a different person now, every memory he held of the past felt foreign. They didn’t belong to him, they belonged to that other Jason Todd. The one who still held hope within his soul. 

 He wished he could go back to being blissfully unaware of you, then the stone that lodged itself within his heart - guilt - and the broiling deep in his gut - worry - would go away, he had enough to that already, he didn’t need more. He wouldn’t feel the constant pull like a hand wrapping around his wrist and tugging in a certain direction, to find you and check on you, make sure that you were okay. He wouldn’t want to insert himself back into your life. It was a new constant struggle. He had enough constant struggles already, he didn’t need this one.

But there was something else too, something light, something sweet when he thought about those memories, when he looked at those photos. Something like listening to birds sing on a quiet afternoon. Watching the sun rise over the horizon and knowing that he’d made it through yet another day.

 Finding you and interacting with you could put you in danger, and you didn’t deserve that. Didn’t deserve to see him in his current state, most of all, he barely deserved you then. He certainly didn’t now. Not when there was blood stained into his hands, his skin. Not when his every thought and action was stained with his previous actions, his guilt. 

He’d made Dick send the photos to him. Which had been surprisingly easy to do. Dick hadn’t even asked why he was so insistent that he got to have the photos for himself. As rocky as their relationship still currently was, they were trying. 

It became a constant struggle to not go looking for you. He didn’t remember your last name, and he couldn’t ask, not without revealing how woefully incomplete his memory was, even after being able to recall some basic memories about you. A month of trying to convince himself to not go around asking questions to those that had been around him during that life. A month of staring at the three photos that Dick had sent to him. A month of wondering if there were more photos of you, he didn’t even care if he was in the photos or not.

The second month Oracle had caught him staring at one of the photos on his phone. With a far away look in his eyes. His demeanor was sad, but his eyes almost had that spark in them again. A spark that he had lost after his death. A few days after catching him staring at the photos Oracle had texted him the name of an apartment building with a smiley face.

At the end of that second month he’d lost the internal fight to not go check on you, to not potentially drag you down into hell with his simple presence around you. And that's how he found himself sitting on a rooftop across from an apartment building located in the upper east side staring down at the phone in his hands. Far out of what was technically his territory, out of his usual patrol route. 

He’d stared at the photos Dick had sent him for so long that he didn’t even need to pull out his phone to see them. He had them memorized, he had every detail of your face memorized at this point, your eyes, nose, eyebrows, mouth, hair, ears. Everything. But he found himself staring at the photos he’d been given anyways. 

There were only three photos that Dick had. One was clearly taken not long after he had become Robin. He couldn’t have been thirteen yet, it had been taken at Robinson Park, he was just sitting on a bench with you. But you were grinning and laughing at him. Your hair was still its natural color. Beautiful in its own way, but it was almost to dour on you. Not bright enough to fit the smile that lit up your whole face. How did he ever forget a smile like that?

The second photo was taken later, it looked like he was fourteen. Your hair now dyed a bright color that matched your bright demeanor so much better than a more natural hair color., the two of you grinning and covered in paint. It looked like Jason had gotten the brunt of the paint tossed on him, covered in bright primary colors, caked in his hair. But you weren’t unscathed either, nor was the room the two of you were in. Not with the still wet paint dripping of the two and splattering onto the ground. The photo made his heart ache, he might vaguely remember you now, but he certainly didn’t remember this specific incident. I looked happy, we looked happy. 

The third and final photo had been taken only shortly before his death, fifteen years old, the two of you. He remembered this one vaguely. You’d entered an art contest at your school, and had won. A bright blue sticker stuck to your cheek to commemorate the win, an arm wrapped around his shoulder even if you had to stand on your tip toes to do so. The painting you’d done hung and framed on the wall behind the two. A painting of him, as robin. Bright colors working together to make him look bright and happy, and aside from his anger and separate issues, he was bright and happy back then. He wondered if you were still an artist. But he didn’t even remember just how into art you were at the time, just that you liked it, and you were good at it. Did you still have that painting?

He didn’t know which apartment was yours. Hell, he wasn’t even entirely sure that this was the right apartment building. This whole thing could be one large sick joke. Guilt rolled in his gut. Did he have any right to check in on you? He barely remembered the girl that he’d apparently cared so much for. Still cared for, with a lack of memories to back up the feelings. This was a battle with his own emotions he was okay with losing for the moment. 

Four years, almost five, since he’d returned from the dead, and it took him this long to regain even a scrap of memory surrounding you. Why? The question burned in his heart and mind, and yet he knew that he wouldn’t find any answer, he had none for why he remembered some things after his dips in that rancid yet magical pit, why some things just came to him with random interactions still. He’d given up on searching for an answer or trying to chase down all of his fractured and scattered memories, he chased them for long enough and the purposeful search never worked out in his favour.

But that's what he was doing now wasn’t it? Chasing a memory. A memory he’d lost. It was different, he wasn’t trying to get old memories back necessarily. He wasn’t even trying to get you back, so why was he here, in the middle of the night and trying to figure out which apartment was yours. He’d given up chasing his memories, it wasn’t like he could ever return to that time, so why was he doing it again now?

He didn’t have an answer for that. 

About half of the apartments on this side of the building he’d been able to cross out. Glances inside revealing decorations that didn’t feel right for you, always so bright and colorful. Spying people that certainly weren’t you. So he sat, watching. If he ruled out all the apartments on this side of the building and didn’t find you, then he’d move over to the next side. 

“Hood what are you doing?” Tim’s - Red Robins - voice floated over his coms in his helmet. Jason had reluctantly agreed to patrol in tandem with the others, only patrol. It gave him more resources to be able to take care of his portion of gotham. But that meant they were able to talk to him and see his location during. He really should have turned them off when he decided he’d gone over his territory enough. It had slipped his mind. Was he getting complacent…no, comfortable with them? 

“Fuck off.”

“You’ve been sitting in the same place for nearly an hour.”

He didn’t want to respond. He didn’t owe them any explanation on what he was doing. He’d technically completed his go over of his territory, and he was still listening on the radar to make sure that nothing went down that he needed to go help with. So far nothing had, but crime alley was unpredictable. 

“This isn’t your business, stay out of it.” He doubted that they would. Even if he’d agreed to try and build a relationship back with what was supposed to be his family, he still despised how nosey they all were. They wanted to know everything, be all involved in his business. He wasn’t ready for that. Some of them were better at staying out of it than others. Some of his family seemed to realize that he wasn’t ready for that much interaction with them. Others, namely Bruce, had been trying to convince him to move back into Wayne Manor. 

He wouldn’t be doing that. No chance in hell was that happening. 

The coms went silent again, thank fuck. And he was left to continue staring at the apartments. Were you a night owl? Or was waiting outside the apartments for your light to turn on and show him what he was looking for a lost cause? Did you keep your curtains drawn so that nobody could peer inside? 

It was a smart idea. A responsible idea. But it would make this little endeavour of his fruitless. He couldn’t try and find you during the day, not responsibly anyways. There was a chance that you’d recognize him, and it wasn’t typically a good idea to go running about in his mask and armor during the day. 

He stayed outside those apartments until the sun started to rise. The first night had certainly been a fruitless endeavor. But at least he’d managed to eliminate some of the apartments. If he didn’t guilt himself out of coming back tomorrow night, then he would. And his new personal mission would continue. A mission that he didn’t know why he was doing, not fully. 

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He showed up again the next night. Maybe this time he’d catch a glance. That’s all he really wanted. A single glance, and maybe the deep roiling guilt for forgetting you would subside. A part of him doubted that. Another part of him thought that just seeing that you were okay would help. He didn’t know which one to listen to. 

Of course, after two hours of sitting in the same spot as the night before his family couldn’t leave him alone. He heard him well before he saw him. Dick - Nightwing - crouching down next to him on the roof adjacent to the apartments. The black and blue of his suit contrasting with the reds of his own armor. He wasn’t surprised, one of them was bound to show up sooner or later. If Roy found out about what he was doing he’d certainly never hear the end of it. The man loved to tease him, but for some reason they got along, he didn’t know why their friendship worked, but it did. Better than he had anticipated. He’d known Roy before his death, they were on friendly terms even. But Roy was Dicks friend, not Jasons. 

Roy running with the outlaws helped that though. He and dick were still friends, but somehow, someway, Jason and Roy had started to grow closer. Roy was his closest friend, but that might be on account of Jason having very few actual friends. It was hard to have friends when you were legally dead and most people seemed to think you’re a homicidal maniac. 

That opinion of him wasn’t totally wrong. Especially considering what Jason had done a year and a half ago. He didn’t care to try and fix that opinion. At least not when it came to the majority of people. Fear was good, fear kept people from fucking with him. He still thought that anybody who wasn’t afraid and actively kicking up trouble deserved death. But Bruce wasn’t appreciative of that outlook. Something that kept him from working with the bats as much as he could avoid it while still getting to know his family again. He was surprised that Bruce hadn’t thrown him into blackgate yet. Thankful, but surprised.

“Weird choice of local to take a break from patrol little wing.”

“Don’t call me that.” He didn’t give Nightwing a response on why he was here. He thought if he was as close with you as he felt he was, then the bats would have kept an eye on you to keep you safe. But they didn’t. Were the two of you not as close as he thought? Had something happened? 

His mind was filled with questions. Questions that he could get an answer to if he simply asked one of the bats that was there at the time. That would require admitting that he didn’t remember, they knew that there were gaps in his memory, but he was careful to make sure that they didn’t know just how many and how large the gaps were. Entire months of his life gone from his memory. Disappeared from him as if they had never happened, like he’d never gone through it. None of them would understand how dying and coming back with large chunks of your memories felt. Even if they tried to encourage him to talk about it, to seek help for his problems. He could deal with them on his own. He would deal with them on his own. He didn’t need their help. 

“Seriously though. Two nights in a row you’re here. Why? It’s not a particularly pretty building to look at.” The building wasn’t decrepit and crumbling, but there were certainly much nicer apartment buildings in Gotham. Even if the city was a cesspool, there were nicer places to live if someone really was determined to stay in Gotham, despite the rampant crime and corruption within the city's government. 

Jason thought for a moment. Dick wanted to have a relationship with him, and at some point he’d decided to give in and try. He owed it to them, even if he was still mad at them for not killing joker, they still raised him. Jason not caring about them was never the problem, the problem was that he felt like he didn’t care about him. It certainly didn’t help that he came back and found some other kid taking up the Robin mantle. They’d replaced him, forgot about him. At least that had been what he thought had happened. 

“I don’t know. Looking for someone I guess.” It was a half truth. He’d kept the information on who he was looking for out of the explanation. But he really didn’t know what he was doing here. He didn’t know what his end goal was. Sure he might want back into your life, even if he didn’t fully remember the relationship that he’d had with you. Hell, he didn’t even remember if you knew he was Robin. Maybe you did, maybe you didn’t. Have you ever even been to Wayne manor?

“Someone work related?”

Nightwing didn’t get an answer. As far as Jason was concerned, this wasn’t any of his business. He’d have to start cutting his location and coms off when he came here. He didn’t want any of them knowing about what he was doing. This was his thing, not theirs. It would be more convenient if you still lived in Crime Alley, but it was the worst place in Gotham to live. He should be glad that you got out, even if it inconvenienced him. He tried telling himself that this wasn’t any of his business, but he was just too curious to not come see you at least. Even if he’d never get any interaction with you. Checking in on you from a far would have to be enough for him. 

Nightwing seemed to take the silence for an answer enough. But he didn’t leave, simply sitting there with him for a while in silence. It was impressive really, the fact that he was managing to be so quiet. Nightwing claimed that being chatty was part of his charm. Everyone expected him to talk all the time. His silence was a blessing, one that Jason was grateful for. 

He managed to eliminate more of the apartments from the list of potential ones that night. But still no sight of the person that he was looking for. 

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By the end of the third night there were only a handful of apartments on this side that were contenders. And he’d started turning his coms and location off from the other bats. But remained tuned in to the radio to make sure that he didn’t need to book it back to crime alley to take care of something. Really, he was shirking his responsibilities there in order to do this. He knew that. Most crimes weren’t reported.

The fourth night he started on the other side of the building. The same process of narrowing down what apartment he was looking for. If this one didn’t have it, then it had to be on the backside of the building. If that wasn’t it, then would he give up? Or would he hold out hope. He didn’t know. Hope how funny, he hasn't felt that in a long time. 

The fifth, sixth, and seventh nights proved that it wasn’t this side of the building. One last chance then. Maybe he’d get lucky this time, maybe Oracle had sent him on a wild goose chase for fun or as payback for something. That was a worst case scenario for him. His least favorite option of the thoughts of possibilities swirling around in his head. 

It was the ninth night that he found what he was looking for. A light flicked on late in the night, around five in the morning, in one of the apartments in the middle of the back of the building. Curtains were drawn, but only briefly, being moved to the side to see the outside world. And there you stood. Hair just as brightly colored as in the photos from his teen years. Face similar, older, but still the same. 

The inside of the apartment, at least what portion of it he could see made so much sense. It was just as bright and colorful as your hair, your smile. Walls painted, pictures hanging up, mahogany shelves filled with books, art supplies, various knick knacks. One wall seemed to be dedicated to taping sketches too. He wasn’t close enough to make out if they were good, but he didn’t need to see them to know that. You’d been good at drawing as a teenager, there was no way you weren’t amazing by now. 

Coffee cup in hand, he watched you fling yourself onto your couch, still wearing fluffy bright pajamas, hair unbrushed and messy, and turn on the TV. His stomach churned. Anxiety and excitement mixing together in an uncomfortable combination. He’d found you. You looked good, grown up well. Didn’t look like you’d lost any of your personality or fondness for bright colors. You were still as bright as the sun, even early in the morning when you’d just woken up. 

He hadn’t realized that he’d leaned so far forward over the edge of the rooftop, if he leaned forward anymore then he would have fallen. Which would be more embarrassing than anything else. Seeing you just made all his previous questions spiral through his mind. A deep ache settled in his chest. A pull on his heart and towards your apartment. He wanted to get closer, talk to you, the ache was deep, painful, and beautiful all at the same time. There was something else there too. The stone pressed against his heart intensified, a feeling he was much more familiar with. Guilt. 

Did he have any right to yearn for you when he barely remembered you? It was like seeing a stranger on the street and deciding that they were yours. His memories were gone, but the feelings were still there. How could he have feelings for someone without the memories to back them up? Did you feel the same? 

Staying on his spot on the rooftop was difficult, disobeying his feelings, his wants, trying to shove it down just like many of his emotions. But it wasn’t subsiding, it wasn’t going away. He couldn’t ignore this, but he didn’t deserve to talk to you. You were a star, not just any star, the sun. Giving your light and warmth away to others, so full of life, so full of wonder, of joy. And he was a black hole. He’d tried to be a star, and he might have been briefly, but he’d imploded upon himself, falling into a dark abyss. Anything - anyone - who got too close to him got sucked in and destroyed. He didn’t want to- couldn’t -do that to you. It wouldn’t be right. It wouldn’t be fair.