#skulduggery pleasant phase ii
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Tanith: Hey, Saracen, have you seen Dexter? Saracen, grinning: Every part of him. Tanith: Not what I meant.
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My fic is out for the 2022 Skulduggery Pleasant gift exchange!
“But here Valkyrie was, walking through the empty park with Militsa, hand in hand, ring in pocket, Xena between them on a leash. Everything was perfect, Valkyrie had it planned out to a T, there was no way that anything could possibly go wrong.
Knock on wood.”
Aka: Valkyrie proposes to Militsa but everything goes wrong.
#skulduggery pleasant phase ii#skulduggery pleasant#sp gift exchange 2022#skulduggery pleasant gift exchange 2022
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In my personal opinion, UTE isn’t the last Skulduggery book, Armageddon Outta Here was. The series is over and has been for years. Despite this, I will still be reading UTE and shaking my head like a disappointed mother.
#skulduggery pleasant#istg phase ii is just one big dumb AU#skulduggery pleasant phase ii#until the end
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before the new skulduggery pleasant book comes out, here is my take on sebastian tao’s (plague doctor) story:
remember argeddion and his followers? seb could be one of them. that explains the name and outfit (so people couldn’t recognize him) as well as the strange behavior and interest in a god (darquesse) who used to be a sorcerer who learned her true name.
Argeddion may be interested in knowing the only other person who knows her true name, as well as how she is powerful enough to be seen as a goddess. his followers have seen what he can do and love him. they would totally bring back darquesse for him.
seb just happened to be chosen. he is awkward and not the best at socializing but turns out to be a good leader and someone who pursues his goals, which makes sense for one of the scientists who used to keep argeddion locked up.
seb is also odd (wants to bring back a god that can kill the world) and the scientists around argeddion all went a bit mad after gaining too much magic. they are also very much under argeddions influence.
tldr: sebastian tao is one of the scientists who contained argeddion and became his supporters.
#skulduggery pleasant phase ii#skulduggery pleasant#until the end#sp#sp theory#the pest doctor#sebastian tao#argeddion#theory
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IN THE HANDS OF THE ENEMY: "pick who dies."
Despite being tied to a chair, China looks perfectly calm.
Her magic is void here, and she still easily fills the role of the most beautiful woman in the world, head held high, eyes blazing and sharp.
Across the room, Skulduggery and Valkyrie are chained to the wall, much more battered and bruised than China is, and she watches them closely, takes in a brutal cut on the side of Valkyrie's face and thinks, Someone is going to pay for that.
There are footsteps behind her, but she doesn't move her head, even as Valkyrie tenses.
"I'm going to turn your skull into an ashtray," she says lightly, unbothered.
"You don't have magic now." It's a man's voice, low and rough, and she has to resist the urge to roll her eyes.
"Darling, I've never needed magic to kill anyone."
She can practically feel his nervousness, and she gets a hint of satisfaction from it.
"Pick who dies."
She arches an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
"Pick. Who. Dies."
The satisfaction fades like ice water running down her spine, and China doesn't react, refuses to. He makes it sound like a choice, but it isn't. She knows it isn't. There is no choice here.
China has always been a self-serving woman. She has always taken what she wants, brutal and fierce. Her ruthlessness has served her well over the years.
She loves Skulduggery. She thinks she might love him.
It still doesn't make it a choice.
"Skulduggery," she says, cool and unhesitating. "I choose Skulduggery."
She hopes that one day Valkyrie might forgive her for it.
#pick who dies#i'm not sure when this is set but i have never read phase ii and i never will#whumptober2020#no.2#sp#skulduggery pleasant#china sorrows#valkyrie cain#textpost#eliza writes#skulduggery x china#lowkey#fic#fandom#i make my OWN canon
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23, 26, 39, 52, 66, 86 + 124?
[book rec asks]
23. a book that is currently on your TBR
My TBR list currently has over 60 books on it. Among them Ocean Vuong's On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous, Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar, C.L. Polk's Witchmark, Leslie Feinberg's Stone Butch Blues, Naomi Novik's His Majesty's Dragon series (that one's partly reread) and Jiří Weil's Leben mit dem Stern (org. Život s hvězdou).
26. your favourite memoir
My first instinct was to say that I'm literally The Worst person to ask this, because 90% of the memoir's I've read we're either Nazis or their wives. But I do have one memoir I'm really glad to own: František Moravec's Master of Spies - Moravec was the head of intelligence of the czech government in exile during WW II, who among other things planned the assassination of Heydrich.
39. a book featuring your favourite character
Okay, so, I love many, many characters very dearly, from a variety of genres and authors. But I think for this I'll have to go with a Jonathan Kellerman book, maybe The Murder Book or Bones, because Milo Sturgis is so fucking important to me. A gay male cop, in a book series starting in the fucking 80's (!), who is just... a person. A terrible person on occasion, and not the most gloating representation, but also never a stereotype and always, always treated respectfully by the author/narrator/narrative, and he was and still is a massive comfort character for little queer me.
52. a popular book/series that you love
Sue me, but I always have and still do love Harry Potter. Fuck JKR, tho. LOTR is nice too.
66. a book that fucked you up
Nichts (Was im Leben wichtig ist) (org: Intet) by Janne Teller. That book fucked me up BAD and I will never touch it again.
86. a book with an insane plot twist
I have massively fallen out of love with Derek Landy's Skulduggery Pleasant series (partly due to Phase II and like... the author himself), but that chapter of Last Stand of Dead Men was an insane plot twist and I literally almost threw the book through the whole room, because I did not see that coming. Incredibly well done and since then I absolutely refuse to say a certain character's name.
124. the book you're currently reading
I'm working on Jaroslav Hašek's Die Abenteuer des braven Soldaten Schwejk (org: Osudy dobrého vojáka Švejka za světové války) and I just started Jonathan Kellerman's Blood Test, because I can only deal with a certain amount of Schwejk being... Schwejk at a time.
Thanks for the ask, nonny!
#books#should i put the english titles of the non-english books somewhere?#eh i guess you can look them up if you want to#i feel like most of the people actively following this blog are german anyway by now xD#ask#anonymous ask
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"It’s gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices, even our good choices are bad choice by anyone’s standards but ours."
Valkyrie Cain, probably
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[Skulduggery, Valkyrie, Omen, Never and Xena are crammed into the Bentley] Skulduggery: What if I implement a no pets policy in this car? Never: Well, hell, man, you can't just throw Valkyrie out like that.
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Auger: So, do I have a boyfriend or a girlfriend today? Never: Since you ate my last piece of pie, today you have an enemy.
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Valkyrie: Omen, please tell us you have good news. Omen: Well, it's complicated, because I don't have good news, but I really want you guys to like me.
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Tanith: Are you okay? Valkyrie: I'm as okay as I can be. Tanith: That's not the same thing as okay. Valkyrie: It's diet okay. It doesn't taste the same, but drink it long enough and you forget the flavour of the real stuff.
#skulduggery pleasant#skulduggery pleasant phase ii#tanith low#valkyrie cain#source: something positive
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Omen: You... you... you rude person! Never: Go easy on him, Omen.
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Valkyrie: Skulduggery, I-
Skulduggery: There is no “I” in this relationship, Valkyrie, only “we”.
Valkyrie: Alright then, “we” are bisexual.
Skulduggery: Damn right we are.
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Razzia: Do you ever just walk into a room and forget what you were doing? Hostage: [Sweating] Uhhh... Razzia: [Scratches head with gun] I hate when this happens.
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Luke: Are you two together? Saracen: [simultaneously] Not yet. Dexter: [simultaneously] Absolutely not.
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Razzia: Here’s the thing though. Is it still a murder if I give them a heads up?
Temper: I think that’s called a threat.
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