#skk is like. how do i say this. it's very hopeful

[lotus-pear]

shuake or skk?

me personally it’s shuake, they just seem so much more tragic i’m afraid

i must agree unfortunately, skk has zero angst and therefore cannot be qualified as doomed yaoi

skk is about unyielding trust despite the tragedy that surrounds their initial meeting and slowly learning to accept each other's humanity in the bleakest points of their life. it's about knowing the inner-workings of someone's heart so well that you are the same soul in a different body. it sows the seeds of hope that tells the other "you're not alone because my fate is intertwined with yours. if we fall, we fall together."

shuake on the other hand is a morbid fascination for someone who is your narrative foil, who contradicts you in every way, eventually leading to a desperate obsession for what you cannot have that manifests itself into blind abhorrence as you seek to kill this person before they can make you fall further. it's saying "i'm consumed by flames and i don't need your pity water. let me burn."

[unicornpopcorn14]

13 for the ship prompt! :D

Ship Prompts 13- Write about your ship celebrating one of the members birthdays. Ship chosen: Queerplatonic Skk I got carried away with this (3.5k words aaaaa) 😭😭 Hope you enjoy it, Darcy!! :D

Saccharine

“You’re aware what day of the year it is, right?”

Dazai’s eyes widen, fork still in his mouth as the chatter of the restaurant fades in his ears. It’s been four– almost five years, surely Chuuya isn’t alluding to that. The moment he meets the other’s peeved face, however, his mouth gapes, with the fork still inside it, and whispers in horror,

“Don’t-”

Chuuya cuts him off with an exasperated sigh, “I enjoyed those 51 days of me being a year older, but alas. The time has come for me-”

“Do not-”

“-to be nice to you for the whole day…”

“NOOOOO!!!” He grabs his hair as he lurches back, other customers turning to their table, “Chuuya, if you’re a sadist, I’d much rather find out in better ways!” He bangs on the table with flat hands, to which Chuuya’s veins bulge at, “Would you quit with that awful annual torture-?!”

“Come on, you do this every goddamn year!” Chuuya bickers back, “Indulge a little in what I put myself through for your ungrateful ass.”

“You do it because I don’t like it!”

“Well, true.” Chuuya shrugs, leaning back with folded arms, “But don’t you get at least a little tired from doing this shit constantly? I’d say this is a much needed change of pace-”

“First of all, how dare you suggest that this ‘shit’ is but a front. Maybe you can’t help but pretend to hate me– and I get it, after all, who could resist my charm? But I truly hate you-!”

“Uh huh.”

“-Second of all, I’d rather stay alive than ever go through that quote-un-quote: ‘needed change of pace’ for the third time in my miserable life!”

“That so?” The smirk that Chuuya wears sends Dazai’s long-have-been-numb nerves prickling in foreign agitation that he hasn’t felt in a long time-

“Oh my.” Chuuya’s tone and eyes instantly soften, and Dazai recoils back before he can help it, “Miserable life, Osamu? I’m so sorry to hear that. We can talk about it, you know-”

Dazai clasps his ears shut, “Shut uuuup!!!”

“As you wish,” Dazai grimaces even further because Chuuya just listened to him, “but do know I am always here to talk, yeah?” Chuuya unsheathes one of his gloves to take Dazai’s hand into his own, expression so uncanny as he genuinely smiles at Dazai. The brunette feels sick-

“I’ll avoid you for the whole day if you keep this up!” He threatens crackly, can’t bring himself to take his hand away, “The Agency is definitely pummeling without me helping with the paperwork.”

Chuuya normally would tell him that he slacks on the job anyway, but now he just simply closes his eyes, that same damn smile on his face, “Just say the word, and I’ll give you all the space you need. Never doubt that, mackerel.”

The pet name doesn’t grant him the normalcy he’s desperate for when Chuuya says it in that tone of voice, “No- You’re not supposed to-!” Dazai can sense that his lack of acutely predicting Chuuya’s responses might drive him crazy very soon, so he attempts to try to calm himself, “Aren’t there mafia business for you to attend, Mr. Executive? Does Mori even know you’re here?”

“Don’t worry, Osamu, I freed the whole day just for you.”

“Stop calling me that-”

“Anything you want-”

“Raaaaaghhh!!!” Now he takes his hand back, clutching it on his chest as if he’s been burned, “You’ll crack. You’ll definitely crack. There is no chance you’re keeping this up forever. Your tiny brain won’t handle it!”

But he knows that isn’t the case, because Chuuya’s tiny brain had handled it for the whole day during his seventeenth and eighteenth birthday, and now at 23, his tolerance to Dazai’s insults have significantly heightened, to the brunette’s sheer disdain.

Chuuya tilts his head a little, hair swaying, completing his sickeningly sweet demeanor, “I’d do anything for the most precious person in the world.”

“Eugh- I think I threw up in my mouth a little.” He gags with a fist on his mouth, voice groggy-

The waiter comes up to them, telling them that the other customers have complained about Dazai’s occasional shrieks. Chuuya, still so freaking sweetly, informs her that they were leaving already, pays the restaurant without complaining once about Dazai never pulling his own weight, and they take off.

“This is a nightmare.��� Dazai says after a long moment of silence between them, something that never happens, “My feisty dog is suddenly nice, he’s definitely transpiring something wicked against me!”

Chuuya- Chuuya laughs, “You know you’re ridiculous with that…” He doesn’t say it meanly, wiping a tear, which Dazai’s brain haywires at-

“Really, now? Laughing at calling you my dog?” The smallest of frowns dares crease his forehead, “This is too much, even for you.”

“What? You’re funny.” Dazai’s face pales- greens even, “So, where do you want to go, birthday boy?”

Dazai bristles at the nickname, then inhales to calm himself, an idea springing up, “Fine. You asked for it, Slug!” He knows just the perfect way to break him, “We’re going to the arcade.”

He sees the flash in Chuuya’s eyes, and deems himself victorious. Chuuya would never maintain this bullshit at the arcade given his ridiculously competitive nature. He’ll definitely scream at Dazai once or twice out of habit more than anything-

Nothing.

Clearly Chuuya’s willpower has also improved through the years, because there isn’t a single aggressive shout, there isn’t any accusations of Dazai tampering with the machines (he had), and though Chuuya laughs and enjoys the rounds, what he utters after his loss is the straw that breaks the camel’s back,

“Aw shucks. Good match, that was fun.”

Dazai leaps from his seat and turns around the machines to reach the redhead, grabbing his cheeks with panicked eyes, “Chuuya, Chuuya are you in there?! I think you’ve been possessed!” He speaks to the eyes, sensing their amused confusion, “Do something to tell me you’re in there! Any sign!”

Chuuya smiles.

“Ahh!” Dazai lets him go instantly, “Begone, demon!!”

“Come on, now.” The not-Chuuya says fondly- eughhh, “Up for another round?”

“No!” This didn’t work. Dazai needs to think of other ways, make up a plan. Operation: exorcising this cloying demon out of his partner begins in-

“How about we go to my apartment? I have a surprise for you.”

Dazai’s eyes dart as his mind runs in terrifying speeds, addressing the other without looking, “I don’t trust you with surprises right now. You may be small, but you’re no less terrifying.”

Chuuya chuckles, “You’ll love it, trust me-”

Dazai gets into a fighting stance, gasping, “Do not speak of trust with that tone of voice, not-Chuuya!”

Chuuya chuckles again, and his silky tone coaxes him to follow him to his apartment, nevertheless. Dazai can’t believe he’ll have to endure seven more hours of this, planning to break a thing or two of Chuuya’s belongings out of spite if nothing else.

“Don’t think your façade is fooling me, I can see right through you!” He announces impatiently from the couch, leg bouncing up and down as Chuuya pours drinks from the kitchen, “You gagged at least twice through this, didn’t you? Admit it.”

Chuuya laughs again, a record in Dazai’s book. This is so ridiculous. “Stop cracking me up, I can’t pour the drinks.”

Dazai sulks, sinking into the couch, “Shut up…” But it’s weak, replaced by flusterment he can’t ebb down. He feels suddenly helpless with the lack of the reactions, and wonders if he’s losing his touch. The antique vase looks like it wants to crash into the floor in full speed so much right now.

“You’re a little red.” Not-Chuuya is suddenly in front of him, sitting down as he gapes up at him in amusement, “Cute.” He attempts to give Daza his drink.

Dazai, with crossed arms, huffs and turns away, “I’m not talking to you.”

“Why? Did I do anything wrong?” Chuuya asks gently with a smile, placing the glass on the table. Dazai turns even further in order to hide the other from his peripheral.

No, you didn’t. And that’s the problem.

“Your hair looks soft. Fluffy.” Dazai suddenly feels fingers running through the back of his head. His noddle whips so fast his neck feels like it cracked,

“Ew, ew! Don’t touch me, cheap-Chibi-replica!!” He doesn’t exactly flinch away, fuming, “The real Chuuya calls my hair a dirty mop all the time! Do better!”

Not-Chuuya brushes his bangs this time, fixated on them as he speaks, “Maybe he never told you those things because…” He pauses, eyes down-casting a little. Dazai begged him to say ‘you’re a pain in the ass’. It’s what he expects, it’s what makes perfect sense, it’s what aligns with the Chuuya he knows like the back of his hand, pleasepleaseplease-

“…he never really thought he deserved you enough to do so.”

Dazai rigids, “WHAT?!”

“He’s afraid of things he’ll lose.” Chuuya, to Dazai’s absolute disdain, explains, “So he tries his best to push everyone away. Everyone he’s sure will be too precious to him, everyone he’ll latch onto just a little too much, he tries his best to maintain his distance from th-”

“Chuuya, I have never been more serious with you in my life: Please stop.” Dazai numbly says, suddenly so, so exhausted.

The redhead’s mouth clasps, as per request, but he clarifies that it still isn’t over, “Only six more hours and I will.”

“Why?” Dazai stresses, uncomfortable, “You can end it here. Nothing obligates you to-”

“You never asked for your surprise.” Chuuya cuts him off.

Dazai blinks, turning to him, “If I see it, will you stop?”

“Only if you want to.”

“Of course I will.” Dazai rolls his eyes, “Now, on with it. If it gets the real Chuuya out, then the sooner the better.”

Chuuya smiles, but there is something solemn regarding it. He gets up, with Dazai observing his every move, and scurries through a drawer big and wide enough to accommodate stacks of files and documents. Dazai’s eyes narrow, never taking interest to rummage through this particular drawer for how boring its contents appear to be, but now his interest in piqued, as Chuuya finds what he’s looking for with a small: “Aha.”

Dazai thinks he sees an envelope in Chuuya’s hand as he ambles closer, but that can’t be right-

“Here.”

“Your surprise is a letter?” Dazai truly hasn’t been more confused in his life. He hates that he can’t see where this is going, inspecting the brown envelope as he speaks, “Chuuya, I don’t think there is anything you can’t verbally say to me now, do you? This is usele-”

His eyes widen, breath catching in his throat as he reads the name embedded on the paper.

From: Odasaku

Time seems to stop while Dazai reads the nickname once, twice. It’s in English cursive that can never be Chuuya’s handwriting, and his hands tremble ever so slightly the moment he registers the credibility of what he’s holding. This is real.

“You- wh-” He looks back and forth between the envelope and Chuuya’s gentle eyes, gaze never seeming to want to leave either.

Chuuya sits on the couch, voice subdued, “Your Executive desk was cleared by me after your defection, as per my own request. I was admittedly selfish– looking for anything you might have left for me before you left. Something to explain, anything-”

“Chuuya-”

“Hey, let me finish, will you?” Chuuya sends him a soft smile in reassurance, “I found this instead, read the first two paragraphs before I closed it again. It explained everything I needed to know, Dazai.” He leans back, drinking out of the wine glass, “You can read it privately if you want.”

But Dazai doesn’t get up, scrambling to take the paper out with shaky fingers. His heart wildly throbs once a long wall of text meets his widened eyes,

This is but my latest prose as a person worthy of being a writer, a person who is not tainted with blood. Dazai, if I die before seeing you one last time, I do not wish to end things between us on such terms. There is a lot I wish to tell you before I leave…

Dazai reads every word, eyes welling against his will, making the letters blur and scramble as one. Oda speaks of their time together, his fondest memories, his ideals- tells him he would’ve left a letter for Ango hadn’t it been for the circumstances. Tells him the name of his adopted children, the characteristics each of them had.

I, truly, have considered you one of them.

Oda informs him of how much he resembled a burnt black cat the first time they met, how he doesn’t seem as burnt now. Dazai chuckles wetly as Odasaku says that he’s happy he’d known him, even for a short while, even in their circumstances.

Whatever path you’ll choose after what occurs, please remember this:

The brunette suddenly hiccups, an ugly sound seldom forced out of him. He covers his mouth, finds his lips too shaky to form words, heart feeling more than all it had felt in almost half a decade-

“He said he’s proud of me, even before knowing I’d defect.” He isn’t sure why he’s whispering this to his partner, “He-” His cheeks feel wetter than before, to which he looks at his hand. Droplets of salt continue to fall on them so assertively, he thinks they might cause them to bleed,

“What is this- what have you done to me…?” Dazai knows he’s crying, he just doesn’t know why he can’t will himself to feel numb again. Everything is hazy and sloppy and wet, and he keeps the precious paper away, afraid it will get caught up in that uncontrollable mess…

“Do you hate it?” Chuuya asks faintly, with some regret in it. Dazai shakes his head, leaving the letter on the table-

“No, I don’t but- these monstrous things won’t stop.” He croaks as he wipes with both hands on his face, and to his horror the tears double, the sobs get even more violent, “I think I’ve been possessed, too…”

“Hey, come here…” Chuuya guides him through his fit, which Dazai blindly follows, till he finds himself with a weight on his laps and both arms and legs embracing him. Dazai latches back so tightly, trembling as he puts all of his force into the fists that both hit Chuuya lightly and grab the back of his shirt with. He doesn’t have to wipe the tears when Chuuya’s garment acts as a napkin, soaking every single thing he wishes to hide.

“He said he’s proud…” Dazai repeats, squeaks, burying his nose into the warmth of his partner.

“That he did.” Chuuya’s ungloved fingers caress his hair, and don’t stop until the persistent tears finally stop flowing. Dazai stays huddled in the warmth for more seconds despite himself, selfishly wishing to steal it all, before shifting to indicate his desire to draw away, and Chuuya instantly gets off of him.

He can’t bring himself to look at the azure pupils no matter how hard he tries, eyes shifting away to the table and the carpet and the hands on his lap.

It has been long since he’s felt this bare, much less over a gift. He had received many birthday presents in the last two years especially: Ranpo would give him all the sweets he could offer, Kenji crops from his field, Kyouka pretty daggers, Atsushi hugs and flowers, the Tanizaki siblings a cake of their making, Yosano fancy wine bottles, Kunikida would treat him to a meal, and Fukuzawa would orchestrate the whole party…

While it would all be appreciated, he never really felt any joy over being one year older. Most times he regrets ever living this long, so he doesn’t regard the gifts or parties done in his honor with as much gratefulness as he feels he’s supposed to.

But this? This one letter lying opened on the table?

It might be the best birthday gift he’d… ever received.

And he wants to let Chuuya know that.

“Uh.” What was he supposed to say again? What did normal people say in situations like this? Thank you? Sorry? “You’re… appreciable, slug.”

That was neither- what the fuck, brain??

Chuuya would have pointed his terrible attempt at being grateful out at any other day, but now he simply smiles relievedly,

“I’m glad you like it.”

This version of his partner is starting to prove that he isn’t so bad, after all.

Dazai frowns, still avoiding eye-contact, “No, um, what I mean is… mmmm….” He sinks so far in the couch, till only his head is reclining by the back of the seat. He crosses his arms and averts his face, physically forcing himself to say it, “tnks…” he whispers.

“Hm?”

It’s a beat, then Dazai roughly flops his head on Chuuya’s lap, because he can’t articulate his appreciation with words, and thus wants to show it by doing something Chuuya likes, which is having to look down to see Dazai instead of the other way around. He feels the other tense for a second before his hand reluctantly cups his brown hair in question.

“Thanks.” Dazai grits into Chuuya’s pants, then rolls on his back, finally meeting the amused blues, “Don’t get the wrong idea, demon, you won’t catch me saying this to the real Chuuya at all. But you get a pass. Only this once.”

“Might as well feel honored, huh?” Chuuya chuckles, and it’s truly genuine.

A small smile cracks Dazai’s face for a mere second. Wannabe-Chuuya is really more acquainted to handle these moments than regular Chuuya. It’s definitely why he waited for Dazai’s birthday to hand the letter to him– an excuse to show his raw and real care that Dazai undeservedly bathes himself in.

“So, do you want him back, now?”

Dazai doesn’t, but can't ever shed light on contradicting himself, so he dramatically says instead, “I’ll think about it.”

The redhead’s brow ridges, though not with his typical ‘I’m done with your bullshit’ frown. It’s with a smile.

He wonders when Chuuya ever learned to be this good of an actor.

Dazai feigns a long sigh, “Fine, you can stay a little longer…” then pauses, blinking upwards, “Wait- am I betraying real-Chuuya that way?”

“I’m sure he doesn’t mind.” Chuuya says as he strokes Dazai’s unkempt bangs away from his face.

Dazai’s mouth curls in displeasure because he likes it, “I hate you.”

“He hates you too, buddy.” It’s better to hear it in third person, like this part of Chuuya forever believes he is worth not being hated, “Wanna spend the rest of the day here or go somewhere else?”

“Energy’s gone, not-my-Chibi.” He twirls the long end of the fiery hair in a finger, “Outdoor activities will be a chore…”

Chuuya shakes his head and rolls his eyes in fondness, “This might be the lamest birthday setting ever.”

“That’s exactly right.” Dazai sneers, “But when were we ever conventional with the way we do things?”

“Touche. At least I got a cake and a candle.”

“Ugh, no. You know I hate formalities.”

They carry it out anyway, with Dazai ruining Chuuya’s attempts to sing properly, and Chuuya being patient through and through.  

His partner must have expected Dazai to want to stay home after receiving his gift, because they spend the next six hours doing everything Dazai likes– They play videogames, they cook and Dazai makes the kitchen an unsalvageable mess, they wildly dance together and stumble on their feet, they watch murder mysteries and brain rotting soap operas in a pillow fort, they play with cards and Chuuya loses every single time.

It's until there is fifteen minutes left till midnight, with Dazai getting his hair braided, that he finds himself glancing back with a devious idea in mind. Testing Chuuya’s willpower one last time wouldn’t hurt, would it…?

“Ah, so. I hate to admit it– who am I kidding, no I don't,” He gives an exaggerated winces as he glances back, “but I maybe, sorta bleached all your coats while you were in the restroom when I was mad at you.”

Chuuya pauses his braiding, staring at Dazai for a long while… then all of the veins on his body pop-

He gets yanked backwards by the hair, “Ow, OW!” Dazai laughs because finally, “My, Chuuya, you’re back sooner than expected!”

Chuuya grabs him in a chokehold, which Dazai tries to escape from, “I can’t fucking take it anymore,” He growls, and Dazai laughs even harder, “My coats? MY COATS, DAZAI?!”

“It’s tie-dye season! Never heard of tie-dye season?!” Dazai slips downwards, successfully scrambling away as Chuuya attempts to grab him but he isn’t fast enough-

“GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!!”

Dazai's half-done braids bounce as he sprints, “Bring nice-Chuuya back first!!”

“SAY GOODBYE TO HIM FOREVER, BASTARD!”

“What?! Noooo, call me Osamu one last time!”

“IN YOUR WILDEST FUCKING DREAMS!!”

They pause the chase when Dazai’s behind the kitchen counter and Chuuya’s outside, if only to catch their breaths, “You know, if it weren’t for the fact that me being nice isn’t as effective on you, I’d have made it a staple on your birthday as well!”

Dazai grins evilly, as Chuuya pales.

“How would that go, again?” Dazai taps his chin, “Oh, Nakahara-Sama, You’re so smart and cool.” Chuuya’s face turns green, the piled urge to vomit since he’d started his act finally getting to him, “You are definitely not a dog and you’re actually the perfect height, goes nicely with your figure and strong build-“

“No, fuck! Euuugh!!!” Chuuya actively empties his stomach in a conveniently placed bucket, Dazai claps in victory,

“Aha! Maximum damage!!!” He points at him, “What comes around goes around, Slug!!”

“You’ll fucking pay for that!”

Chuuya breaks the door of the kitchen down, adding to the unhopeful mess Dazai’d made. Their wild goose chase keeps going till three in the morning.

And Dazai? Keeps laughing till all his heart’s content…

[whisperiin]

hello!! do you have any domestic gray ravens hcs with skk reader? ✨✨

oh this is soooo ... i love this so much this is so cute ... well i definitely do now!!!! i think i got a little carried away so it got super long i'm sorry ... but i hope you enjoy!!

domestic gray ravens

content warnings: none

➸ It's common knowledge how devoted LUCIA is to Gray Raven, and this is true even in relative moments of peace between missions, too. She's a little awkward with it, but she wears her heart on her sleeve — just like how she wears the different scarves she bought in each of your favourite colours. It's actually really easy for her thoughts to return to you. Maybe she passed by a garden and got reminded of the plants Liv keeps, or saw a little malfunctioning robot and thought that Lee would be able to fix it in ten seconds flat, or caught a whiff of that food you said was your favourite — should she maybe get some for you...?

➸ She loves just spending time with everyone. Team dinners are a must for her! But... just let Liv handle the cooking. Lucia also seems like the type to make sure that you, Liv, and Lee all get to go to bed safe and sound, even if you haven't been doing anything except slacking off in the lounge — she'll walk everyone back to their rooms, or at the very least, ask you to send her a little message as soon as you get back.

➸ LEE has similar habits too, but he's just a little more awkward in showing he cares — not that he would ever admit as such. Just like Lucia, he feels just a bit more secure seeing for himself that you got back to your room unscathed. He also prides himself on being perceptive, and he has a tendency to fix problems you or the others might have before you notice them. Have you had trouble waking up lately? No worries, the little robot he gave you now alarms twice as loud!

➸ Lee also made it a point to remember your routines. He has a habit of scolding you if you stay up later than usual, or sighing in that disappointed way he does if you forget to eat a meal. He'll usually go off on some tangent about how a Commandant should be more disciplined than that, but if he's being honest, he just wants to make sure you're healthy. Humans are fragile compared to constructs, he would often say to you, and to Liv and Lucia, We need to maintain our performance, don't we? But that doesn't explain how involved he gets even in little things like double checking everyone's weapons to make sure they're absolutely fine, or even just walking just a bit closer to you if he sees you're uncomfortable or uneasy in any way.

➸ Caring for everyone almost comes as second nature to LIV, even if you or the others would fuss over how she has to care for herself, too. Honestly, she just loves when she's able to help you all in some way — the smiles on your faces and your heartfelt thanks are enough to put a spring in her step for a good while. She also likes messaging everyone little good morning or good night greetings, just to say hello or wish you sweet dreams even if she's already done so in person. Aside from that, she's usually the first to notice when one of you is upset. Maybe your shoulders are a bit more tense than normal, or you're glaring unusually hard at a random spot on the floor. At times like these, she'll gently pluck whatever you might have in your hands away, or lightly put a hand on your shoulder, and insist you get some rest with a smile — she'll even get you something warm to drink to calm you down; how about that?

➸ Liv has memorised everyone's favourite things by now, like whether you prefer coffee or tea or neither, which table at the cafe you all tend to sit at, what kind of colours everyone liles to wear when theyre not in those stiff uniforms. She also has a habit of picking up a few extra things for everyone while she's out and about — Lucia, didn't you mention you were looking at this frog plushie in the mall? Lee, you needed an extra set of tools, right? They had your favourite in stock again, Commandant, you don't mind that I got you some, do you?

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

First of all, I just want to say. I called it lol

Finally an sskk face off since the sacrifice. I am going insane. I can’t articulate all my thoughts rn but something about the way Atsushi aimed a kick at Akutagawa that he fully expected the guy to block (because they know each other’s usual fighting styles!!!) only for it to connect and hurt him; Atsushi begging Akutagawa to recognize him because even if he still can’t consciously admit it, Atsushi has become convinced that Akutagawa wouldn’t be attacking him like this if he knew it was him; pleading for him to snap out of it and demanding to know why he saved him aghhhhh I’m going feral we know the reason Atsushi we know whyyyyy

I can’t believe it actually. We are at the point where sskk do not want to genuinely hurt each other. Atsushi attacked only out of self defence and was taken aback by actually breaking his wrist. Akutagawa refused to kill Atsushi in the Fukuchi fight and Atsushi is now convinced he’d stop attacking if he recognized him. Holy shit. Oh my god.

And Sigma badass moment! My boy, he pulled through! Either him or Chuuya had to break the stalemate; hell yeah, validation. Wasn’t there a meme someone made? “Prison arc -> prison arc if Sigma still had a gun”? Well Sigma’s got a gun and things are picking up babyyyy! His retort to Fyodor was quite possibly the funniest thing he could’ve said in response. Just completely shut him down. Using what he’s learned running the empty home Fyodor previously tried to buy his trust with. Beautiful. ADA Sigma real??? (I think the story will have to acknowledge his very public involvement with Taneda’s shooting and the acts of terrorism the Hunting Dogs now know he is responsible for… so I’m not sure how that will go but I’d like to see him end up with the Agency tbh… so long as it makes sense.)

Things I did not expect:

Mysterious note left in Russian??? It could be Mykola I suppose but… why? What happened? If he’s actually in trouble I doubt he’d need help escaping. Is it a trap? But what for? Alternatively… could it be Pushkin? He was in Meursault initially right? We never found out what his connection was. It could be a new Russian author too! Intriguing! There’s also the matter of it being written in Russian in the first place - who is it meant for? Sigma specifically? Or is it meant for someone else who speaks Russian?

Dazai is actually injured! I was certain he had something ready to get out on his own but I like this much better. Tbh I know this sounds bad but I’m actually way more invested now that Dazai has a broken leg and Fyodor was just shot. There’s higher stakes, you know? Damn though. I think Dazai’s injuries are. Worse. He’s being terribly self-sacrificial, and is apparently going to face off against Chuuya next time we see him. I do think now the stakes would be too low if Chuuya was completely free of the brainwashing tbh… I’m hoping for a double “I know you’re in there” fight between skk and sskk. Not that Dazai can do much physically but his strength has always been with words anyways, and I am certain Chuuya’s already fighting back. And I know Atsushi will reach Akutagawa. Manifesting sskk reunion where they challenge Fukuchi again and win this time via the power of unbreakable trust (delusional).

Sigma asks Fyodor “WHAT are you?” Which is interesting, and I’m hoping will acknowledge the way Fyodor doesn’t seem to age… but also intriguing is the “getting closer” part on the side which implies he’s not quite right. I think Fyodor will still turn out to be human tbh (it’d be weird otherwise, thematically), but now I’m starting to lend a little more weight to that theory about a Fyodor double…

Well anyways. This was a lot. I’m going to helplessly whir about it for a bit now.

[the-bloody-sadist]

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "the bloody sadist"?

YOU FUCKING BET!!!! I love having the opportunity to list my favorites for anything, though I'm also incredibly picky about fanfics, so I don't actually know (until I start scrolling my bookmarks and listing them) if I'll reach a whole 10 favorites!! But I might! (Note: these are in no particular order)

What I Want From You is Sweet by VampireFaun (Heaven Official's Blessing) [And basically every other work that she's written! But some of my other top favorites of hers are The Thing That Was Not His Highness and Beast With Two Backs]: When I can't get a fanfic out of my head, I usually end up drawing an illustration based on it, if I'm bold enough to risk depicting an author's precious words (rare). This is my MOST re-read fic and I won't ever stop. It doesn't help that VampireFaun/Deer is a WONDERFUL PERSON and I love her personality so much. She's an incredible writer!

Tenfold by dgalerab (Bungou Stray Dogs) : Baby's first fic! This was one of the writings that immediately roped me into the fanfic world. When I first was into it, I was under the impression that everyone just went there to write half-assed explorations of sex between characters, and that wasn't so appealing to me. When I discovered that some people can write entire 25-chapter PLOTS with the level of literacy that matches what I hoped to read??? I was hooked. Obviously you can see in this list that I have strong devotion to a handful of fic writers and my favorites are just the top best fics that I return to of their writing. If I find a great writer, I subscribe to them and go on a rampage of consumption through their list of fics, my fandom or not! Please consider doing the same for those authors that I mention like that!! You'll find so much gold. Everything by dgalerab is good in some way, I have almost all of their fics bookmarked. :') My only complaint about this particular story was that HOLY FUCK THE AUTHOR CUT SO MANY SCENES WAY TOO SHORT LMAO. Please let me have a full comfort scene for more than two paragraphs T_T I worked so hard for it. I cried so much. ANYWAY, STILL A HUGE INSPIRATION FOR WHAT I WENT ON TO WRITE!

What You Have Tamed by Parsnipit (Heaven Official's Blessing)

Love is Hard, Life Sucks by gev_ao3 (Bungou Stray Dogs) : A painful inspection of the nuances of domestic abuse. This one rang true to reality so much that I don't think I can re-read it without having a depressive episode. It's not finished, but it's Fyozai, and you know how I feel about that. Also side-plot SKK! I usually can't stand AUs, but this one fits the situations very well. It's the type of fic that only someone who knows a little too much about how abuse works on a victim can write.

Careful Fear and Dead Devotion by intimatopia (Trigun Stampede) : Yet another fic that I couldn't help but draw for! And intimatopia was kind enough to link it in his fic summary T_T - A super angsty sadomasochistic fic about Vash needing pain and Wolfwood needing to give it. If I don't list any other fics by him on here, it's because I'm such a huge enjoyer of his writing (one of my favorite fic authors), so nearly all of them that don't hit on personal triggers are in my favorites category. He's a master at pinning down the PERFECT depictions of characters that make them feel as canon as possible while also becoming more tangible and real. The ZhongXiao, AyaThoma and Kaeluc fics are incredible. Read them all! However, I will mention that one of his fics that first stuck with me was his Kaeluc AU Northbound & Reaching ! Carys has done a lot of BSD fics too, of which a few stick out to me like They Say You Gotta Fake It and that one Soul Eater AU he did where Dazai was a knife in Chuuya's drawer who gained a body. I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT WENT CUZ I CAN'T FIND IT TO LINK YOU BUT GO LOOK THROUGH ALL HIS FICS FOR IT. IT'S REALLY UNIQUE.

Top 5 works, I guess?? As I mentioned several times while gushing, three of these account for entire lists of the author's works that you should enjoy if we share the same taste! VampireFaun, dgalerab, and intimatopia are my top fic authors, and I've read everything they've posted as long as it didn't contain anything personally triggering - and have learned about new fandoms even! Also, Alaruya didn't make it on this list, but they have a Fyozai fic that really inspired me with its imagery and language. I link it in my Sinner fanfic if you're interested!

I have quite a few other random fics I enjoy, but most were from a Heaven Official's Blessing craze recently and then BSD works that inspired me in some way, but they're not very unique or long, so I felt like this was the best collection to list. Most any fic that explores Dazai struggling with self-harm or neediness or asexuality has my attention. It just has to be written well!

AS FAR AS MY NAME - YOU'RE THE FIRST TO ASK THAT QUESTION! I'm a big fan of...how to explain...slightly dehumanizing titles?? Something that isn't really a name, but a description of me in some way. Something that makes me feel mysterious and yet also gives everyone who reads it an idea of the type of works I'm creating. Of course, my main personality trait is being sadistic, and I love the word sadist, and I love putting THE in front of literally any title because I DON'T KNOW LMAO...I'm THE ONE. That kinda thing. I'M THE GUY!! YEAH I'M THE BLOODY SADIST GUY! THAT ONE! I also love smashing words together, so I was like, I can't just be THE sadist....what else do I like....and that's about it. If I name myself I tend to have trouble ever using anything else in reference to me, so Sadist has stuck from the very beginning. It's going to be very hard to part with that name once I publish a novel and have to use a first and last name...

THANKS FOR THE ASK!! I HOPE YOU ENOY THOSE RECS.

[hibiscesque]

Fanfic Writer Interview

@chuuyaspinkmotorcycle16 tagged me (<3) and I almost tagged her wrong here because she has the audacity to use a different username than on Twt.

How many works do you have on AO3?

Nineteen visible, five hidden! Hoping to get a few more in before 2025 pray 4 me.

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

Just gonna do the SKK ones because no one on here follows me for DC Comics or THG.

Post-Coital Miss (4,237 words) Oneshot, M - A (nonexplicit) fic where Dazai is That Dormmate who keeps the rest of the ADA up with his loud sex shenanigans with Chuuya and Atsushi contemplates the merits of taking after his mentor and jumping into the river after being chosen to confront him.

Less Like You (22,909 words) Twoshot, E - My scar sex fic—both of their scars, not just Dazai's. I don't really know how to encapsulate it in a blurb but it's actually not about the sex at all it's all a front for the feelings. So many feelings. (Too many feelings). Transzai because I love Twitter user ardenistired.

Supersonic Boom (67,502) Multichap, T, Complete - High school AU except Chuuya is the dedicated "good girl" student and Dazai is a delinquent "bad boy" truant instead of the other way around because you can pry that iteration of them from my dead, cold hands. Featuring Dazai's dastardly schemes, ultimate badgood romcom wingman Albatross, homeless Chuuya, and illiterate-but-also-smarter-than-the-teachers Dazai.

Places of Worship (8,250 words) Oneshot, E - Praise kink but it's also lowkey trust kink because Dazai enacts a dastardly plan to get Chuuya to break up with him because he realizes he's falling in love with him. Once again the sexytimes are incidental (but also very steamy).

nothing, the wind, the sky (64,790 words) Multichap, M, Ongoing - Started writing this at a lowkey dark time in my life. It's really heavy and honestly I'm not sure I recommend it? It deals with themes of suicidality, CSA, empathy fatigue, suicide survivor (the loved one, not the suicidal person) trauma, financial trauma, human experimentation/medical trauma, trauma bonds, codependent relationships, forced mental health care, and that's just what I can remember. It was originally supposed to be four(?) chapters but it has a plot now that's actually related to the events in BSD.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! They make me so happy and I want to express my gratitude.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I actually don't usually write angsty endings. There's only one up that's not hidden right now, Deliver Us From Ev—. It's exactly what it says on the tin. A traumatized Dazai with no concept of healthy boundaries and consent manipulates Oda into having sex with him on his 18th birthday. It's non-explicit, non-sexy, lowkey kinda brutal, and I've been told by commenters that it left them genuinely upset and a little disturbed.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Supersonic Boom. It was SO soft and cheesy I didn't know if I was cringing or melting as I wrote it.

Do you write crossovers?

Anyone who thinks they can write a crossover after Magic and Mystery dropped is just kidding themselves. /lhj

(No, I don't haha).

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No real hate! One nasty comment once, though.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. Porn as a vessel for complicated emotions to the point the porn is the tangential part. Next question.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

OMG Malaika reminded me about the thief website crisis of summer 2024 that was wild. So yes.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

She has a private Twitter account so I don't know if she'd want me sharing it, but a lovely individual translated my The More You Grow series of teen SKK shorts into Russian on Ficbook. Link to the original here and the translation here. <3

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I've done trades!

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

The controversial trenchcoat man and the redhead he's definitely not in love with.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Right now, all of them. 🗿🗿🗿

What are your writing strengths?

I wasn't quite sure how to answer this one. I just write by applying what I learned through the osmosis of a childhood of reading books for 4+ hours every day in ways that make the brain termites happy lol there is no craft involved. I went back through some comments on my fics to see if there were any trends and the most common kind things people have said were "I like how you write the SKK relationship dynamic" and "I like your writing style".

What are your writing weaknesses?

Including enough description. I am a very, very dialogue and character-heavy writer because that's the part of writing I enjoy and honestly a lot of the time I forget I even have to set the scene.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I'm not opposed to it but I never feel confident in doing that unless it's a language I know myself. When reading other people's fics, I enjoy it when the writer is doing it on purpose to emphasize the lack of information or confusion their character is garnering from the words, but to be honest I get frustrated sometimes when there's a really emotional conversation going on between two characters and suddenly I can't understand what one of them is saying.

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Don't laugh. Shenny The Big Bang Theory.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

No ❤️

Tags: @moonsmessyart, @monkey-banana41, @chupenguin, @oswinaltava, @neontoad

[ruified]

❝ a much needed 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘 ˎˊ˗ — pt. 1

warnings - fluff, skk . characters - pm! dazai, chuuya, mentioned mori . synopsis - mori sends the young double black on a mission without specifying what for . a/n - here's part 2 and the fic on ao3 !!

A boy dressed in black, his body embraced by bandages, with shaggy dark brown hair sat in the back of a car. His knees were bent and pressed against the back of the passenger seat in front of him, which was unoccupied. His dark eyes watched the scenery outside fly by with very little interest, it was hard to tell if he was even looking outside or just spacing out. Beside him sat a smaller boy, yet a few months older than him, his ginger hair tied back in a small ponytail and a black pork pie hat on the seat between him and the other. He had his head tilted back against the headrest, his eyes shut—he may be sleeping, it was hard to tell.

The dark haired boy let his eyes wander and eventually they landed on the dozed off boy. He slowly reached for the hat that sat between them and picked it up. He leaned over from his seat towards the ginger and placed the hat over his face very gently, so as to not awake him. There was silence for a few moments before the ginger’s gloved hand reached up and lifted the hat off his face, revealing squinted, piercing brown eyes that shot his partner a glare.

“Oi, Dazai, ‘the hell do you think you’re doing?” He cocked a brow, the right side of his upper lip tugging up into a scowl. The dark haired boy, Dazai, huffed and shook his head, his shoulders lifting as if the ginger had just asked him such a stupid question. “Well, Chuuya, I was trying to help you block the light out of your poor little eyes.” He pouted mockingly at Chuuya, batting his lashes a few times. “Sleeping beauty over there needs his rest.”

Chuuya clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes, setting the hat back down between them. The hat almost served as some sort of boundary between them, and Dazai had tried to cross that boundary, just as he always does. “I wasn’t even asleep, smart ass.”

Chuuya sat up straight and stretched, letting out a lengthy yawn—for someone who didn’t fall asleep, he sure was acting like he had just awoken from a long nap. His voice carried a gravely tone, different from how he usually sounded, likely because he was tired. “Are we gonna be there soon or what?”

Dazai and Chuuya had been assigned a mission earlier by Mori to go to some town in the mountains. The town wasn’t super crowded or anything, it was small, more like a village really. It had a bath house run by a family and a few restaurants as well, it was certainly described as cozy—a weird place for two mafiosi to be sent to. Mori had never specified why he sent the two there, he said they’d know once they got there.

Dazai shrugged. “Dunno, but from the looks of outside I’d say we’re getting close. We’re pretty far out from the cities and I believe we’re already in the mountains.” Dazai turned around in his seat, reaching behind and digging through the stuff in the trunk. He sat down once again, holding a scarf in his hands which he folded in his lap.

Chuuya tilted his head after watching Dazai, a brow raised and a frown tugging at his lips. “You cold or something?”

The dark haired boy looked at him like he had lost it then sighed heavily, he shook his head. “No, but it’s going to be cold when we get out of the car so I’m getting ready.” His eyes scanned Chuuya up and down, then he grinned mockingly. “I sure hope you’ve brought things to keep you warm because there’s no way I’ll share my scarf with you.”

Chuuya scoffed and turned his head away, looking out the window now. “As if I’d ever want to do something as corny as that with you of all people.”

The car came to a slow stop and the driver informed the two boys that they had arrived. Dazai wrapped his scarf around himself while Chuuya just got out of the car, not bothering to bundle up—he regretted that. The air stung his cheeks, it felt sharp in his lungs as he inhaled. Shit, it was freezing. However, he did his very best to hide any reaction he was having as Dazai came around from the other side of the car to meet him, adjusting his gloves. Chuuya pushed his hat down further onto his head, hiding his face a bit.

The two scanned their surroundings, looking for signs of what they should be doing. They found themselves rather confused though, there were no other members of the Port Mafia there. There didn’t seem to be any sort of business going on or anything, it just looked like a regular day in this small village in the mountains.

Dazai and Chuuya exchanged glances, blinking a few times. Dazai was the one to take action, he turned to the driver and asked, “What is it exactly that we’re supposed to be doing here?”

The man who had driven them up here simply smiled as he looked down at the young man before him. “Your instructions are to relax. The boss wanted you two to head to the bath house and check yourselves in, everything should be ready for you there according to him.”

The two boys were left with their jaws hanging open, speechless. A break? With this guy? They turned to each other and both recoiled at the thought of trying to relax around one another.

Dazai waved the driver away and sighed, tugging his scarf tighter around his neck. “He seriously couldn’t have given us separate vacations? How am I supposed to relax at all with a dog barking in my ear?” He pouted.

Chuuya snarled and started walking towards the bath house. “Whatever. Let’s just go.” Dazai stood there for a minute then followed behind. He caught up to Chuuya and remained close behind him.

[coconox]

certified delulu post about nocti

a.n. this'll be a compilation of thoughts from my initial reactions to sands of wrath to his voicelines to literally everything about him. THIS WILL HEAVILY BE A NOCTI X SKK!READER KIND OF THING because i'm all in for a lil self insert to feed my delulu visions. also as a heads up i did read the story using google translate so if i quote anything it's basically what google translate told me but i edited it to make some grammatical sense. and yes there will be spoilers

a lot of context will be left out so if you don't wanna be confused by names check out this lore doc that gives a summary of er-5 or pgr lore in general, this post just talks about er-5 lol

EXHIBIT A: TRIGUN AU

have you seen trigun (ESPECIALLY trimax) cause if you have this makes so much more sense

noctis is vash and nigel is knives

both are brothers and have almost opposite ideologies

i did think of wolfwood and livio as another option but nigel does fit a bit closer to resembling knives

VASHWOOD (where nocti is vash and skk is ww (or the other way round, honestly either still works)

nocti: but you must promise me that you won’t die before i come back! no…. you’re not allowed to die even after i come back! i will definitely find a way to save you!

skk: of course, partner…..

this had me in TEARS I WAS NOT READY

nocti fist bumping you just made me think of this scene with vash and meryl

HE ALSO CALLS YOU PARTNER AS HE FIST BUMPS YOU the way i had this realization so late into writing all this

sands of wrath setting literally looks like a place you’d find in no man’s land

nocti’s voiceline telling you to smile more, similar to ww telling vash to smile more (and i mean their genuine smile, not the fake one they use in front of people)

EXHIBIT B: NOCTI AND SKK ARE MARRIED

they are married and own a bar together hear me out—

you two enter a town in which neither of you are welcome because you’re both from babylonia, the mayor decides to put you two in a hotel room till the harvest festival is over

you two are in separate beds, but neither of you can sleep, so you two do what any pair of roommates would do—

—have a 6 hr "light conversation" :D

first actual convo with nocti, you both take turns to ask questions about why they’re here, what’s going on, etc

nocti asks why you trust him so easily, you respond with “it’s intuition” which is a response nocti seemed to like

you also state how you hope he returns to cerberus and fall asleep. nocti in a way states he also wishes to go back to cerberus and sleeps as well

at some point nocti leaves the hotel room to find demont, who is the reason you two ended up working together in the first place, but there was an attack by hetero creatures and nocti swiftly got rid of them

after talking to the mayor, max, about wanting to be just a resident in town, he takes you to a bar, in which that’s where you find nocti

ya know he could’ve talked about ANYTHING and his drunk ass decided to talk about HOW HE PROTECTED YOU??? COINCIDENCE??? I THINK NOT

you find nocti and he offers his hand out to you to dance with him, you reluctantly agreed and you two end up break dancing together

this was him proposing to you i’m just sayin—

the night passes and you two begin living your lives as residents of new oakley

when he first calls you partner, it was originally solely because temporarily they’re no longer considered members of babylonia, and so to fit in with the whole wild west type style, nocti refers to you as “partner” and you agree to do the same to him

first time it’s used outside your interaction with him was when nocti has small talk with vann

vann: you’ll only obey orders from that commandant, right? these are the rules of the sky garden

nocti: i don’t listen to anyone’s orders, but if it’s a request from my partner, that’s a different matter

NOCTI WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT LIKE WE’RE ROMANTICALLY PARTNERS?????

this isn’t the first time he does something like that he’s very consistent about it

truly a devoted man

also “MY partner” ????? he also pretty much refers to you as his partner throughout the whole story i got whiplashed when we were back to being called skk in his affection story

after you and nocti find demont there’s a small good cop bad cop scene (which i found hilarious), but at the end demont couldn’t reveal much vital information due to dying from poison

nocti realizes this poison is something only nigel can control, and stormed out into the center of town in a fit of rage trying to find nigel

calming him down and telling him to retreat to not make a big scene was practically impossible, that is till you shout “trust me— partner!!” and nocti finally calms down and retreats

HELLO??? CALLING HIS NAME HE DIDN'T BAT AN EYE BUT BEING CALLED PARTNER MADE HIM ACTUALLY LISTEN??

i'm absolutely speechless

you two cook up a plan to find out what’s really going on +bonus hand holding at the end

your part was to just do your job as a bartender while nocti handles the investigating, and eventually nigel shows up

nigel asks what’s the difference between a human and a construct, you respond in a way a bartender would explain it, but nigel wants an answer from you as a commandant rather than a bartender

he ends up poisoning you and leaves, nocti arrives a little while later after discovering what the plan is for this town in the next few days

i remembered that before we split up i told him not to be reckless, but in the end i was the one that was careless and ended up in this miserable condition. i no longer had the strength to stand, so i could only slide down to the edge of the bar. at the beginning, i said big words that would make nocti return to cerberus in an honored manner… i didn’t expect to be the one to make him sad for his companions

skk: i'm sorry…. nocti….

nocti: HEY! don’t say such depressing things to me so quickly

nocti then enters a panicked state of not knowing what to do cause skk is poisoned and there's no known cure for it

nocti gritted his teeth. he didn't even know how to give first aid. he regretted not learning more about first aid from vera before

GOT ME SOBBING, EMOTIONALLY DAMAGED, SHATTERED INTO PIECES

you tell nocti to go help the mayor cause if the mayor dies the town will fall

nocti is in pure disbelief that at a time like this you're more worried about someone else and he refused to leave you here

after some reassuring nocti goes ahead and takes care of what's going on in town and immediately after checks if you’re still ok

he hears a painful scream in his communication device and he SPRINTS back to where you are and finds both vera and 21 there attempting to take care of you

21 comments on how nocti is a lot more powerful ITS BECAUSE HIS LOVER IS DYING RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM AND HE WANTS TO SAVE THEM BUT DOESN'T KNOW HOW

there’s an encounter with the purifying force, wanting nocti dead since they believe he’s the cause of their aircraft crashing

you tell them that it isn’t his fault and after essentially a stare down between the purifying force and cerberus, the purifying force leaves you all alone since they trust you (thank the overlords for you working with them before and gaining a good work relationship)

you, cerberus, max, and vann think of a plan on what to do next now that you all know where nigel might be located

nocti will go and fight nigel alone since it’s the reason he even came here in the first place while the rest defend the town

you establish a m.i.n.d. connection with nocti, which in turn gives him the poison as well since you’re basically almost a walking corpse at this point

the fact that nocti, with NO hesitation, established a connection with you makes it LOUD AND CLEAR that he will stick with you no matter what even if it leads to his death

cue another hand holding scene, and nocti leaves

vera and 21 get very VERY concerned over your health, yet you’re still adamant about keeping the connection with nocti

21: they want to keep a deep m.i.n.d connection w nocti

vera: DO YOU WANT TO DIE?! if you're deeply connected, your consciousness will be completely bound to him…. if he dies, you also die

skk: he… needs….. me…..

this is LITERALLY a moment where one cares more about their partner THAN THEIR OWN WELL-BEING ㅠㅠㅠㅠ

transitioning over to nocti’s side, he finally confronts nigel

nigel mentions that in order to cure the commandant he needs to be killed, but just HEARING that name come out of his mouth made nocti more full of rage than he’s ever had

this part alone SCREAMED nocti being like "you do NOT have the right to say my partner's name after what you did to them, i am no longer doing this for myself, i'm doing this FOR THEM"

so anyways nocti gets his ass beat 💀💀, nigel lecturing him that he’s still confused and is only driven by anger

the cutscene if you wanna watch it

"commandant… you must be disappointed with me…. damn it… are you mad at me? haha.. me too…. leave everything to me from now on. let’s make that bastard taste our true wrath, partner..."

“i can’t die here yet…. my partner is still waiting for me to come back.”

similar to 21's comment earlier, nigel notices how nocti's steps aren't noisy and chaotic anymore, but steady, firm, and powerful now BECAUSE HIS PARTNER IS ROOTING FOR HIM TO WIN AND HE NEEDED THAT BOOST OF ENCOURAGEMENT... THAT'S WHY YOU WERE SO ADAMANT WITH KEEPING A M.I.N.D. CONNECTION WITH NOCTI

this whole fight scene had me SCREAMING

“my partner and i will use all our strength… to beat you to pieces”

if you still haven’t gotten it DO YOU SEE IT NOW??? HIS MAN IS FULLY DRIVEN TO HIS FULL POTENTIAL BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU AND WANTS TO.. NO... NEEDS TO COME BACK TO YOU

nocti wins and nigel essentially retreats but with a new found respect for his brother

but before he retreats he asks nocti the same question he asked you: what’s the difference between humans and constructs

he gives his own answer and guesses yours (since he was rather confident enough with knowing a lot on how you think) and it boils down to them having the same answer but different font

the place nocti and nigel were fighting in collapses, forcing nocti to leave and never see nigel again

you and nocti are back in the hotel room recovering, and a few locals come in to beg nocti to stay and not go back to babylonia

“but i made a promise with my partner, i want to return to cerberus in a dignified manner…”

after more silly banter everyone leaves you and nocti alone to rest, but neither of you can sleep

nocti brings up the question nigel asked him, and you gave him your actual answer, which is pretty close to what he guessed

nocti: haha… just as i thought, i know you better

skk: but maybe i know you better. for example, what you look like when you’re drunk

nocti: WHAT?! DID I DO ANYTHING WEIRD WHEN I WAS DRUNK???

skk: forget it, stop talking, i’m sleepy

nocti: HEY!! TELL ME NOW!!!!

he’s a literal blushing mess after you told him you saw him drunk

your honor this is literally a newly wed couple

gotta of course mention his affection story so read here for a summary of that as well

the way he ONLY uses the best quality and probably most expensive ingredients to make your food

nocti giving a damn about this whole pancake thing only because YOU care

LIKE HE'S PUTTING HIS PREFERENCES ASIDE TO MAKE YOU HAPPY

MORE HAND HOLDINGGG this time in the form of you helping him mold the pancake shape +bonus nocti blushing

both literally wanting to do the whole working at a bar thing together again in the future that is like PEAK ENDGAME for their marriage

+bonus boss being supportive and naming the new drink and dish that was made after you and nocti

the whole affection story just very clearly and vividly plays out nocti and skk working together flawlessly at the bar like their chemistry was SO GOOD !!!!

very sorry for any grammar errors i'm very hyperfixated on him rn and i needed to scream about it somewhere

anyways thank you for coming to my ted talk i will now think of nocti in a wedding dress /hj

[detectiveaku]

hihi!! you asked for my thoughts on stormbringer after i finished reading it, so i'm here to say what few coherent thoughts abt the book i currently have because oh my god that was life changing in the best possible way. genuinely considering buying a physical copy for myself now.

i love how much more fleshed out chuuya was as a character, and the dynamics between him, verlaine, adam, and shirase were all extremely compelling to me. like i didn't expect to come out of this liking shirase but AUGH the character development from him was not something i saw coming. AND ADAM'S DEVELOPMENT OHHH MY GOD. what if i exploded in the best possible way i ended up loving him a lot.

i also found some of the bits we saw from dazai to be extremely fascinating.... like when he tells verlaine that he'll mourn over his birth rather than his death. augh. and the skk dynamic in this book was so. they're both insane in the best possible way. ESH you two are perfect for one another etc.

funnily enough i came out of this book with verlaine being my favorite from it. something about him is so incredibly tragic in a way that always gets me specifically. like him just sitting and mourning rimbaud. oh my god. oh my god. also the amount of sympathy he showed towards chuuya's clone despite thinking he was a human is so. gah. i need to re-read stormbringer at some point this book is absolutely amazing

@heartless-curr (so i get the notif. sigh. when will tumblr let you send asks on a side blog </33)

haiiiii i hope you didnt mind me in your replies throughout the liveblogging, stormbringer is probably my second favorite arc, second only to the mersault/airport arc which goes crazy of course.

what i admire most about stormbringer is bringing in this cast of characters that perfectly exemplifies the theme it is very explicitly telling you it is diving into. it creates incredible tension because you know how this plays out from the beginning. chuuya will discover that he is human. the thing in question isnt that, its what that means to chuuya, and what it means to you.

so you have adam, a non-human with human traits. N, a human with inhuman traits. dazai, who questions whether those "inhuman" traits are inhuman at all, or if murder and torture are perfectly human, but also dazai, a human having a lifelong existential crisis of what that means. verlaine, a non-human who lived a human life for a time, and who rejects doing it ever again.

and chuuya. and stormbringer isn't necessarily about whether chuuya is human or not (its obvious that the conclusion will be that he is human), its about what that means. and where everyone else falls in that world.

are you born human, or do you become human through living passionately?

and the rest is history. dazai trusting chuuya, chuuya trusting dazai. suffering, and fighting back. vengeance and forgiveness. whatever the fuck rimbaud and verlaine had going on.

"disgrace, huh?" <- i think about this line dozens of times in a day. what do you mean by that dazai? what exactly are you feeling about this person who literally by the hand of a god completes your plans, whose hands you put your life in at every chance because he puts his in yours, and who helps you understand your own humanity through his struggle with his own? if chuuya's true form isn't a disgrace, what might it be?

im tired of gay people. adam frankenstein is incredible and i want him in the ADA right this minute. i love him so much. "i get to protect you. i couldn't ask for more." putting aside the skk of that sentence, thats love, isnt it? the most passionate thing you can do! adam's ability to follow his heart makes him, in my opinion, human.

[wildflowerteas]

first half of our tsp ch15 reactions!!

i make such a big deal of sitting down to respond to these it's so. i have a fresh pot of tea ( Japanese sweet potato and chestnut with black sugar and some cookies, but that's beside the point ) and my hair is washed and my paper outlines are done and i can devote all my attention to giggling at my laptop screen like a freak. okay lets do this STARTING WITH SKK. and Orphydice. Because to love is to turn around. God . . . i really hope my insanity about dazai's suicidality in this fic shows. it's so complicated that it's got my brain going around in circles--at the start of the fic he's just burning through life and his job for mori, hoping that once everything is resolved and the people he loves are safe, he can kill himself as punishment for everything that he's done. but then he meets Chuuya, and suddenly he can feel good and useful for a reason and in a way that isn't so violent, and living for the sake of feeling that is enticing. but at the same time, he keeps pushing, slipping up, losing control, killing, and saying things that are almost incriminating because he wants Chuuya to know him and wants to see what he'll do when he does.

"falling for it just the way he's supposed to" (^_^)

TALS THESTJHGSA! THE TheTJSHJJA Yes they haven't said I Love You out loud yet because even though they're very clearly far gone, that would be too real for the both of them

Gun and No Badge . . . yeah. He was wearing his badge when he went home with Chuuya that first night. ALSO YEAH I realized as I was writing that this is the second New Year's kiss I've written??? how did we end up here . . .

sskk * explodes into red mist**

Woah picking up on the accent mention???? yes. Atsushi's gotten better at it, and at assimilating, but his first language is Japanese like Kouyou. The fact that you know nothing about TSP Atsushi is 100% intentional. even within the story, he's unknown to almost everyone. he's the golden boy at the precinct but there have been no mentions of his previous education, his time at the academy, or where he grew up ( beyond what he mentions himself in his POV ). The character that knows him best, and who he's revealed the most to is actually Mori if you can believe it. Most of the other characters are content to tell him things because of his open nature, and they don't even notice that the conversation is one-way until after it's over.

THE CROSSWORD. CRAZY. YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON TO NOTICE THAT. Yes...it's a gambling term. And the opposite is 'All on Black'

'fic author made for me' . . . (￣▽￣*)ゞ blushing and giggling and kicking my feet. WAIT WHYAM I GETTING CURSED?

that party image is exactly what it feels like when i see that I've been name-dropped in the discord gc.

i left the way they ended the night of new year's up to interpretation, because anything could have happened, really. they could have snuck off and left their dates behind to be in each other's company ( kouyou and yosano were bound to meet, anyway, considering Dazai's payment for her coming with him to the party was drinks at the Double Black -- which is coming up soon!! ). Or they could have gone back to the party, Dazai trying to shake off the feeling of having forgotten about something important, too caught up in the relief of having convinced Chuuya of his innocence. they really are unsalvageable, and were bound to end up like this regardless.

"you're an angel." was 100% intentional and you will be seeing it again because I'm insane

'I feel like the party was some fucked up fever dream' <- EXACTLY HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO FEEL. THATS WHY I STARTED THE NEXT SKK SCENE ON A CLASSIC ‘WAKING UP' MOMENT. OOHHH MY GOD THANK GOODNESS.

aha . .. ha..

anyway.

THANK YOU FOR READING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[that-one-odd-shipper]

🪼. New Fic . 🪼

(To the little Junichro and Tachihara anon, yours is getting started now :) I prioritized this one first.)

❤️‍🔥- A little Chuuya fic! This one actually made me very happy to write since I got inspo off my nieces actions for this one when she was over.

♦- This takes place right after my previous little Dazai fan fiction, let's say about a week later. I don't see many agere fics with Chuuya as the regressor, so I figured I'd feed the fandom with this one.

📣- I don't exactly have a picked out age for Chuuya in this, I wouldn't say younger than Dazai but definitely a not very talkative, sleepy yet excited kid. Also extremely clingy, skk is really alike when they are little in odd ways. This is the first time he's ever regressed, he doesn't even know he does.

❗- I'll attach the first few paragraphs for you to get a feel of the fic! Link to my ao3 and the fic itself will be at the end! Please enjoy, comment and like! Ps. This isn't the first sentences like I usually do. There's backstory at the start, so I figured I'd start further down.

Back to the current situation, Chuuya had a morbidly bad headache. He felt like tearing his skin off, that's how bad it was. Nothing worked, no pills, the rest of the sort.

Overwhelming, that's how it all felt. He had been granted permission to leave early that day because of it despite his paperwork. Another factor in his stress.

Although originally putting up a fight against it because the work would pile up, they insisted. So now he was here in his apartment.

God what he would give to just pass out in a warm bath, not have to worry about anything for hours and hours on end. But of course that couldn't happen..

When he turned the bend into the living room he found Dazai staring at a certain picture. Of course, of fucking course the bastard decided to be a nusince today.

When noticing Chuuya, he shot around taking the picture in his grasp. "Aw, the Hatrack's back! Do you really keep pictures like these up?"

Dazai held up the picture for him to see now, it was of Chuuya and the sheep. A picture he had taken ages ago that he refused to take down for reasons he doesn't wish to share.

The red-head stalked forward and tried to reach for the frame, cursing at Dazai. Now he held it far above Chuuya, taunting him. Can't he just get a break?

"Fucking bitch! Leave my shit alone, asshat!" Yea he cursed like eight times in that sentence, but he's stressed alright?

The brunette only laughed as a response, throwing it down for Chuuya to grab with his ability. And that he did, clutching it in his hands immediately.

"...Why are you here?" He sighed out, rubbing his temple. This was giving him a headache.

"Can't an owner check up on his dog?" Sang the man, plopping down on the couch.

"I'm not your dog-" Chuuya attempted to say, but his brain cut out in the middle aggravatingly. Static formed in his head making it increasingly difficult to focus.

If he slipped up that much Dazai didn't notice, starting to ramble about something stupid like slobber. Chuuya could care less at the moment.

He opted to move towards the kitchen, sitting down at the island and ignoring Dazai. Maybe be should cook? It would probably help the static and headache.

Dazai followed him over, continuing to speak. The words faded out without his control as he sat there. Was everything usual so loud? Because it was ear bleeding.

The red head doesn't trust himself to cook like this, he'll probably burn himself. Just another thing for Dazai to make fun of him for and my god why can't he just shut up?!

Chuuya couldn't do it. Too much, too loud. His limbs felt stuffy and his mind was covered in clouds so thick he couldn't think. Static noise in his head at all times, preventing him from even getting a thought in.

Chuuya's head pounded as if it was being hit by a baseball bat over and over and over. Everything was sticky, hot, and constricting.

___________________________________

Hope you liked the snippet :) the links to my ao3 and the story and bellow!

Story: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57034897

My ao3!: https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_One_Odd_Shipper/pseuds/That_One_Odd_Shipper

[whisperiin]

May I have hcs on Liv and Skk reader trying to teach Lucia how to cook?

I was reading Lucia Plume's Dancing Ripplet coating story event, where Lucia gave a reason why she's not a great cook. Like she has to scrounge up as much food as she can in her childhood, as little as food source is, so I imagine that she wouldn't have the opportunity to experiment with cooking or mixing with spices and such. So now that she's in a better position where it's possible, now she's got other people to rely on to teach her with cooking! ^^

THAT'S THE REASON????? i don't have plume and i think i was taking a break from the game at the time so i definitely missed that ... that's so......... cat screaming dot jpeg..........

this is such a cute request, and i hope i did it justice!! i think it's a little shorter than the rest of the stuff on this blog so far, but i hope you enjoy, anon ^w^

liv and the commandant teaching lucia how to cook

content warnings: none

➸ Any and all jokes about it aside, LIV thought it was really sweet of Lucia to come to her for help with her cooking, but she can't help but wonder if she's really the best teacher... And that, dear Commandant, is how you get involved: I would feel a lot more reassured if you could help me out, Commandant... But only if you're free, of course! Lucia also perks up a little when she sees you there too, clearing away any clutter from the kitchen before you begin. Regardless of whether you're any good at cooking or not, you'll definitely know if it tastes passable, right?

➸ It starts out with picking a recipe in the little cook book Liv brings along — something simple since you're just starting out, maybe soup or stew, or something else if you prefer? Liv clasps her hands together with a smile and says that maybe once you get the hang of things, Lucia, we can try other kinds of dishes!

➸ Dutifully, Liv lists out what ingredients you'll need while you help Lucia prepare them. Neither of them need much instruction for any slicing and cutting, but every so often Liv will give some other pieces of advice as you put everything together — It's a bit too salty, but that's fine, we can just do this... or, It feels like it's missing something... Maybe we should add some more of this? Lucia listens with rapt attention to anything you or Liv has to say; this is new territory to her, and your advice has her realising that maybe she's been a bit... overzealous in her previous cooking attempts.

➸ She's not dissuaded, though! When you have some downtime while waiting for the food to cook completely, she asks you and Liv for some extra advice. What does she do if it gets too dry? How would she know when it's finished? Once the timer you've set goes off, you help with putting everything onto plates and setting them onto the table (maybe if you're lucky, you'll happen to catch Lee?).

➸ Of course, your first taste is far from perfect, but considering her track record, it's a very good attempt. Lucia perks up as Liv echoes the sentiment — and if you're so inclined, maybe the two of you would want to help her again on the next day off? Her smile is bright as she suggests it: maybe sometime, she can treat everyone to a homecooked meal, too.

[kyouka-supremacy]

Hello!! I hope you're surviving this Terukoless week! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

I love how you analyzed Teruko. For me, if I were Asagiri, I would've utilized a lot of real-life references --- at least the ones I heard of from @/velvetbyrne.

For example, she was tutored under Mr. Natsume Soseki. I would've found it interesting if, at some point on a Hunting Dogs mission, she feels as though there could be something more, as in, a beginning of healing. Not joining the ADA, but forming her own agency. But she limits herself, thinking she only knows of war. Perhaps she really likes fairy tales, not because of happy endings --- but because they end. War never ends.

I think she could be preluded (?) to by Ranpo, perhaps him and Edgar Allen Poe discussing good mystery books, and Ranpo says the only book that's been interesting to him was Iwata sisters, Iwata Yumi and Iwata Yuriko (pen names the real life author used under Mr. Natsume's tutorship). Ranpo was one of the big real life authors to review her work and say how it was psychological (if I understood correctly).

Additionally, the real life Ranpo thought she could be the "Japanese Agatha Christie", but she passed away before she could. So, if she does die in this chapter, I would've moved her death to meeting Agatha Christie, because it seems she's very powerful. And then it would heighten the stakes of losing to the Order of The Clock Tower.

So sorry this is so long but the ask you answered made me think alot^^ I also would've let her meet Naomi, and perhaps a hidden sadness that she never got to be a schoolgirl, since that's Naomi's character design. Perhaps she spares her for, 'innocence's sake'. However, I think she and Yosano would fight because Yosano says she's capable of making her own path, but really, truly the idea of being out of war would scare her so deeply, she says something like, 'What do you know? You were only a nurse, not one of the half-dead!'. Perhaps they knew each other from the war, even! Something like a SSKK or SKK rivalry DJDJD

I know Asagiri hasn't clarified if it's really her Funeral Chapter, but that's how I would go about it!

Have a good day/night, I'm so so so happy to see you're back! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)🫶🏾💨🩷

I love all of these so terribly much 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Please, take Teruko's writing in your hands.

I do recall reading about the irl author being a mystery writer, and in a detectives story like bsd is, I wish she was given special regard because of that, but alas. I especially like the comparison with Christie!!! I wish they were linked in the manga too. If the irl counterpart travelled to England… Then what if the character Teruko has met Christie at some point… Here's how more Teruko screentime can still happen through flashbacks (delusional).

But seriously, I love the concept of her founding her own kind of agency to no end ｡:ﾟ(;´∩`;)ﾟ:｡ And I'm OBSESSED with the possibilities of her interacting with Naomi, that's such a juicy aspect to explore. I really like the idea of a Teruko who's bitter over her lost childhood in general. Thank you so much for sharing all of this!!!!

[cryptid-juzou]

Thanks for the tag @msshinylemon and @nolongerforthetainted 😊

Fanfic Writer Interview

How many works do you have on AO3?

I’ve only been writing fanfic for a few months and I don’t have any that I’m satisfied with/ brave enough to post yet (hoping to post some soon though). But this is fun so I wanna do it for my WIPs anyways.

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

Can’t do top kudos’d fics but some of my current WIPs, all for bsd, are:

A currently untitled AU where Dazai is the head and solitary member of a large, wealthy estate who is growing increasingly disenchanted with his life. This starts to change when he meets and hires the fiery Chuuya to be his maid.

Treading a fine line - A Phantom Thief!Dazai and Detective!Chuuya AU inspired by the Mayoi cards. Chuuya has no clue the infuriating and elusive thief he’s been chasing for months is also the charming (but still infuriating) man he’s been dating and is slowly falling for.

A currently untitled HiguGin oneshot with little plot, it’s mostly just them falling in love. It takes place during/after ch.41 of the manga where Higuchi first sees Akutagawa with Gin and mistakes her for his girlfriend. And Higuchi’s first thought upon seeing them together is ‘Oh no, she’s hot.’

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I will when I finally post to Ao3, because I love when authors take the time to reply to my comments.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I cannot do angsty endings. Angst in the middle is great, but I am very much a ‘happily ever after’ kinda person.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I haven’t finished many fics, but the higugin fic I listed above is two girlies becoming friends and falling in love, so that fits the bill. 

Do you write crossovers?

No, I prefer to take characters from one thing and plop them into the world of another thing as an AU.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope, I’ve only ever posted my stuff on tumblr and yall are so nice here.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I’ve been dabbling in writing smut, still figuring out what kind I like to write.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Can’t steal what's not there hehe.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not applicable

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope, but would like to at some point.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Picking one is impossible. As bsd is my current obsession, skk and HiguGin. I also love Joker/Akechi from Persona 5 and Dorian/Inquisitor from Dragon Age Inquisition.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

My Yosano/Koyo omegaverse AU where they are alpha/alpha. I LOVE the premise, but haven’t got much of a plot to go with it.

What are your writing strengths?

Hmmm, maybe that I spend a lot of time trying to keep my characters in character. I worry a lot about whether what I’m writing is something the character would truly do or say. 

What are your writing weaknesses?

I need more descriptive imagery, and to explore the characters' inner thoughts more. As I’ve started writing more, that is something I am actively working to improve. And I need to work on the whole ‘show, don’t tell' thing. 

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think it’s fun. I don’t tend to do it myself, as I haven’t really written stuff where people are speaking other languages.

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

I recently watched Arcane and fell in love with all of the characters. I really want to write something for Vi/Caitlyn, I love them alot. And also Jayce/Viktor.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I’m really liking my head of the house Dazai and Maid Chuuya AU. I’ve been suffering from Maid Chuuya brainrot for a while and it’s so fun to put my angry boy in a pretty maid dress. It’s also the first multi chapter fic I’m attempting, so I’m enjoying that process. 

I know we've only interacted like once so no pressure lol, but I know you write fanfic so thought I would tag you @samuraionyourmom

[ravencincaide]

Summary of 2023 

I've seen a few blogs do it and decided, for myself, to sum up this Tumblr year. To gain a little bit of perspective on what I’ve done so far and where I might want to take this site next. Also to have a chance to look back at this post in one year and see how accurate it was and how much has changed. I encourage you to do the same!

A Writers Requiem started around 25th of August-23 after many many years of not writing anything and that was also the first post (a reblog) on the site. Since then it has developed very much into a Chuuya fanpage with a few Dazai and SKK posts here and there. In this just-over-four-month this blog has produced: 

8 request fics ( for 5 different requests) 

16 purely Chuuya x reader fics (8 SFW and 8 NSFW)

6 purely Dazai x reader fics ( 3 SFW and 3 NSFW)

6 SKK x reader fics ( 6SFW and 1 NSFW) 

Thus concluding the year with a total of : 36 fics. A lot of which I plan to re-write or tackle some of the prompts again which I wasn't 100 percent happy with. 

So that’s what’s been achieved in the past. Where are we now? 

There are still 13 Sweetober prompts left. 

There are still 20 Kinktober prompts left. 

There are still 5 requests gathering dust in my inbox (I’m so sorry!) 

Not to mention some requests for part two of certain fics. 

So easy to say I have a good half a year worth of prompts left if I intend to finish them all. The keyword being “if”. I’m looking at you, kinktober.  

So let’s talk a little bit about the future of this blog, shall we? 

First of all, A Writers Requiem is going on a two week vacation. 

As fun as this sounds, I’m only going to focus on studies and re-exams before the next term starts brutally kicking my ass. So puppy Chuuya, and horn-dog Dazai will just have to wait their turn. I will still be available through messages and inbox. Please don't hate me too much 

Secondly, this blog is going to move back a little from using others' prompts and go back to writing things or ideas that I’ve come up with myself and which bring me a little more joy to produce. At the end of the day I’m writing not for popularity or praise (even if those are a huge motivator!) but to get myself used to producing fictional works within a timely manner. Whether they are approved by the general audience is an entirely different issue. That I’ll tackle once I’m more comfortable and confident in myself as a writer.

Anyhow, the first set of prompts I’m gonna tackle is The art of Seduction for February, and the prompts for that are published on my second blog: A Writers Prompt.  Follow me there if you’d like a sneak peak of the kinds of things this blog will produce or the ideas I’m toying with. 

Another question I’ve gotten a few times is whether this blog will continue being purely BSD (Chuuya and Dazai) or if I’ll expand. For now that’s uncertain; at the very least I want to finish my Sweetober prompts the way they have been up until now before trying a new kind of blend. Fydor is definitely someone I’m considering to do a closer study on, once I’ve gotten through Dostojevsky that is… Also JJK and MHA are definitely fandoms I'm thinking of checking out.

Finally my goal for 2024 is to stick to my updates schedule on Wednesday and the weekend. Key word being goal which can change depending on how life is. 

So in short there’s a ton to do and a ton to look forward to in 2024. Hope you’ll stick with me <3 And with those words, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

[great-master-airplane]

hi hi! I feel awkward af typing this and you know, actually gaining the courage on sending it, but I just want to say that you really deserve every kudos, good comments and when your fics get recommended.

especially with the way you write skk! it's comfortable and enjoyable. the flow of the story, their dynamic, the characters themselves, it's smooth and not forced. even if it's simple, it's beautiful. we can see that you care when you write, and we are really thankful for that.

after a long and tiring day, I can just go to this little space that gives me happiness before going back to the real world. reading the doa trio is fun and it's nice seeing your ideas here and when you think of writing other characters and stories.

I don't really know where I'm going with this, but I hope that you receive the energy that we (your eternally grateful readers) give.

hearts <33 and more hearts <<333 because you are warm space to come back to and ao3 doesn't let us give more kudos!!! you deserve every one of it!!!

I ;-; I don't even know what to say to this. Usually I hoard messages like these so I have something to come back to when I'm doubting myself and my writing abilities, but I wanted you to know how happy this made me.

I have a very complicated relationship with myself and my writing. I never feel like I deserve such kind words or nice feedback on my fics. I don't really believe I do enough to deserve such positive reactions. I can put my entire heart and soul into something, and it still never feels like enough. I could even bleed myself dry for my writing, and I'll still never be satisfied with what I've created.

But then there are people like you who tell me such beautiful things and find such joy and warmth in something I've written, and that makes all of my self-inflicted anxieties worth it. So thank you for this <3